How long does a employment background check

Hi, my background check cleared for the Call Center’s position on 05/17. How long does it take to hear back with final offer? Hoping to start in June.

Hello.
This is Don Sees Your Shaydim. It's been a while.
Long-Winded Intro:
Ever sit through one of those 40 minute long ads by Whitney Tilson because you wanted to know what the fucking fuck the secret Tesla pr Apple supplier is, only to find that there’s no big reveal at the end? Instead, you’re asked to subscribe to an unaffordable newsletter. (These ads can’t be fast-forwarded!). The thing about these ads is you can figure out who these “secret” companies are, and it’s not hard. When I used to have time, I’d reverse engineer the latest 20-minute Motley Fool ad to discover the secret 5g stock, or the secret EV battery tech that will change the world.
I don’t have time like I used to. During the pandemic, I “worked” at home, which meant I spent my days yoloing into spacs and deconstructing stuff like Motley Fool and Stansberry Research reports for their stock picks. The good news is there are some devoted investors out there who have made it their jobs to take apart ads and reveal secret stocks.
If you’re looking for some plays, here are the results—the revealed stocks—from some recently reverse-engineered ads. The folks who did all this great work are Travis Johnson, who runs a fantastic online magazine called Stock Gumshoe. It is the only magazine I am subscribed to, and have been since 2020. I get a lot—if not most—of my investment ideas from Stock Gumshoe. Every single trade or investment idea that I’ve had from Gumshoe has been successful. Every single one. Every trade I’ve made because of shit I heard on YouTube has been a turd. I’m pumping this magazine because it works.
Alongside of Travis Johnson, we have Dylan Rieger. Just like Johnson, Rieger reverse-engineers ads, but on YouTube. He is prolific. His videos are roughly 10 minutes long, and they’re packed with well-curated information on each of the companies he reveals. If you’re thinking, “Why would I read a web magazine if I could just watch youtube videos?” Rieger’s videos are excellent, but Travis’s writing… he will teach you how to think. “But I don’t need to change the way I think about the market.” If you’re still fucking reading this, then chances are you suck at trading and investing. (I can already feel one or two of you typing, “Actually, ….”)
Below you will find a list of secret stocks that Johnson and Rieger revealed. I’ve listed the author of the newsletter or ad, the title of the article or presentation, the revealed stock, and relevant information. I figured that if I’ve had success this way, you might too. I like my wife’s feet, incidentally. I think they’re pretty.
Let me reiterate—I have been successful when I’ve used these sources as a starting point for a possible trade or investment. I’m a moron, however. I don’t stick with what works. I’m more likely to yolo into some garbage I heard about from a twenty-year old on YouTube. I said earlier that if you’re reading this, you probably suck at the market. But you’re probably way better than the person who wrote this. I address myself in third-person. I also like it when she wears tube socks and Doc Mertens.
Dylan Rieger's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@dylanrieger7651
Travis Johnson's Stock Gumshoe: https://www.stockgumshoe.com/

Secret Stocks Revealed, May 2024
Dylan Jovine. “The New Space Race: 3 AI Stocks for Windfall Gains.” From Behind the Markets newsletter, which is currently listed at $49/yr. This focuses on defense industry AI-powered satellites, particularly speculations about defense contracts with the US Space Force. He teases several stocks, but the primary secret stock is BigBear (BBAI). BigBear has partnerships with Amazon AWS (AMZN), Palantir (PLTR), and L3Harris (LHX). Travis Johnson, whom I get almost all my info from, sees this BigBear speculation as a stretch. I agree. If BBAI does in fact get the Space Force contract: tendies. Jovine also pitches a backdoor way to get a stake in SpaceX, which is not publicly traded. The “backdoors” are the Private Shares Fund (PRIVX) and Destiny Tech 100 ETF (DXYZ). SpaceX constitutes about 35% of DXYZ. Jovine’s third stock—which is allegedly NASA’s secret AI chipmaker—is Arm Holdings (ARM).
Jason Williams. “The Exxon Slayer: The Small Firm Pioneering the Future of American Lithium.” Future Giants newsletter, which will cost you fucking $2,000. The secret stock is Standard Lithium (SLI). Totally worth a $2,000 subscription.
Shah Gilani. “Nvidia’s Secret Partner.” From Manward Monthly Report. The secret stock is Astera Labs (ALAB).
“This Tiny Canadian AI Stock Could Be the Next Nvidia.” Motley Fool Stock Advisor Canada. The secret stock: Docebo (DCBO). The company is in the e-learning realm, offering a cloud-supported platform for employee training and the like. This is not even remotely close to being Nvidia, but the company itself looks promising within its own sector.
Gerardo Del Real. “Trade of the Decade.” From Junior Resource Speculator, which is priced reasonably low—compared to Superbowl tickets or Berkshire Hathaway stock—at $2,000/yr. The secret stock is Kingsmen Resources (KNGRF). You really out to check out Travis Johnson’s reverse engineering of Del Real’s ad, and maybe consider subscribing to Stock Gumshoe, where he breaks down all sort of ads. He’s one of the best writers in this space. I have a fucking PhD. English. I hate everyone’s writing. Not his. He—Travis—also enlightens readers to similar stocks and stakeholders in that sector: Cameco (CCJ), GoGold Resources (GLDGF), Ivanhoe Mines (IVPAF), Abacus Mining (ABCFF), Cosa Resources (COSAF), Fission Uranium (FCUUF), Skyharbour Resources (SYHBF), EnCore Energy (EU), Uranium Energy Corp (UEC), Sprott Uranium Miners (URNM), Sprott Junior Uranium Miners (URNJ), Perpetual Resources (PPTA), Standard Uranium (STTD), Filo Mining (FLMMF)
Ross Givens. “Live Action War Room.” From Wall Street Watch Dogs. This ad was formerly called "The $3 AI Wonder Stock that Could Make You 75X Richer?" but was repackaged as The No. 1 AI Stock Opportunity of the Decade (Surprise: Only $6)” The secret stock is SoundHound AI (SOUN). Note: They are also pitching alongside of “The $3 AI …” “The Top Five Stocks Set to Soar in 2024.” These include Calix (CALX), SolarEdge (SEDG), Desktop Metals (DM), Adobe (ADBE), and Snowflake (SNOW).
Whitney Tilson and Porter Stansberry. “How I Cut My Salary to $1, Then Pocketed a Million Dollars in One Day With America’s New Money.” Stansberry Research. These ads don’t have clearly defined titles. This one covers a “secret US currency” otherwise called, “America’s New Money.” This is from Stansberry’s Investment Advisory. This is a weird pitch; basically, they’re suggesting that instead of buying stocks that trade on an exchange, you should buy the stock representing the exchange itself. The secret stock is CME Group (CME), otherwise known as the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. In Travis Johnson’s breakdown, he lists other publicly traded exchanges: Chicago Board Options Exchange (CBOE), Intercontinental Exchange (ICE), Nasdaq (NDAQ), MarketAxess Holdings (MKTX). In fact, here is his whole list: Euronext (EUXTF or ENRXY in the US), London Stock Exchange (LNSTY or LDNXF in the US), Australian Stock Exchange ASX (ASXFY, or ASXFF), São Paulo Stock Exchange Brazil (BOLSY), the Bolsa Mexicana (BOMXF), Over The Counter Markets OTC (OTCM)
Jason Simpkins. “Project Wingman.” From Secret Stock Files, which would cost you $1,999/yr. Military aircraft: Simpkins asserts that this defense contractor, Kratos (KTOS), has a “vice grip on next-generation technology that will render most of its competitors’ assets completely obsolete.” Project wingman involves using AI on fighter planes.
Keith Kohl. “The Undiscovered Tech Company Behind the Coming Trio-Fuel 238 Revolution.” Energy Investor newsletter currently listed at $99 yr. at basic level. Nuclear energy tech that’s apparently cleaner, safer, and more efficient than convention Uranium 238 tech. The secret stock is Lightbridge (LTBR).
Ray Blanco. “Did I Just Find the Hidden Cure to Cancer?” From Catalyst Trader, which would cost you $1000. The secret stock is Exscientia (EXAI). Dylan Rieger also notes that Alexander Green, another “famous” stock picker with an expensive newsletter, made EXAI the secret stock in focus for his “This Will Be the #1 Performing AI Stock of the Coming Decade” report.
Adam Odell. “Special Report #1: The AI Growth Engine” from the 10X Stocks newsletter, which is currently $995 yr. This is from the AI Power Summit, with 3 stocks “positioned to solve the AI energy problem.” The main stock is NuScale (SMR), which builds small modular nuclear reactors. The additional stocks are Centrus Energy (LEU), and Sprott Physical Uranium Trust (SRUUF).
Jason Williams. “The Tesla Killer is Here.” Wealth Advisors newsletter. Pitching “blue gas,” which is hydrogen fuel cells. The stock is Ballard Power (BLDP)
Alex Koyfman. “Lithium Volcano: Tapping the World’s Biggest Lithium Reserve.” The Crows Nest newsletter. 1 year membership is currently listed at 99$. The stock is Lithium Americas (LAC), who has a $650 million deal with GM.
Ian King. “AI Energy” presentation. Membership is currently $79. The stock is AMD (AMD)
Louis Navellier. “The Trump AI Boom: 3 Data Center Stocks with 100X Potential” and “The Second Wave of AI Comes in November.” From Growth Investor. The stocks are Innodata (INOD), Data Storage Corporation (DTST), and Applied Digital (APLD).
Luke Lango. “Elon Musk’s ChatGPT Could Soon Mint New Millionaires.” Innovation Investors Magazine, which is currently listed as on sale for $49/yr. The stock is Taiwan Semiconductor (TSM).
Luke Lango. “The Next Nvidia.” Investor Place. The stock is Lam Research (LRCX).
[Jason Williams. “The Exxon Slayer: The Small Firm Pioneering the Future of American Lithium.” Future Giants newsletter, which will cost you fucking $2,000. The secret stock is Standard Lithium (SLI). Totally work a $2,000 subscription.]()
Shah Gilani. “Nvidia’s Secret Partner.” From Manward Monthly Report. The secret stock is Astera Labs (ALAB).

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Decent_Lecture_1514
I run a DnD group with kids aged 7-11 at my local YMCA, and some parents are trying to get the game outright banned. I have to have a meeting with both parents and HR Department and effectively present my case. Please help!
Originally posted to DnD
Thanks to u/PitaEnigma for suggesting this BoRU
EDITORS NOTE: because it's mentioned and some may not remember or been born when it happened, a quick synopsis of the satanic panic
The Satanic panic is a moral panic consisting of over 12,000 unsubstantiated cases of Satanic ritual abuse (SRA, sometimes known as ritual abuse, ritualistic abuse, organized abuse, or sadistic ritual abuse) starting in the United States in the 1980s, spreading throughout many parts of the world by the late 1990s, and persisting today.
Original Post May 9, 2024
Sorry if this is a longer post, but important context below ⬇️
So yeah I'm a program coordinator at our local YMCA and I run an after-school program (effectively am a glorified babysitter hahaha). This past school year I passively mentioned that I play a lot of DnD when one of the kids asked me if I had any plans that weekend, and it totally piqued their interest when I explained to them what the game was like/about. Naturally they asked if they could try and play and I figured sure why not, I'll write a fun and fam friendly one-shot for them.
They all absolutely loved it. It's turned into a proper campaign with about 7 of the 24 kids me and my coworkers look after consistently playing. I've had to limit the sessions to just 1-2 days of the 5 day school week, because I have other kids too that aren't interested in it, and I obviously still need to give them attention and interaction as well (and as you know DnD can be a very engaged and attention demanding). I thought this was a fair compromise. Days that it's nice outside we are always out running around, being active, playing sports -- but if it's a rainy day, or on our weekly Friday Movie Day, we generally play. It's been such a blast sharing something I love so deeply with kids who I care about so much.
So here comes the issue:
Almost every parent of the core group that plays loves that we are doing this (one even plays weekly and we bonded over it haha), but there is one child whose parents certainly do not; they want their kid just constantly active and engaged and playing sports, not playing "silly make believe", which I guess I get to a degree because this is kinda the MO of the YMCA traditionally; healthy active living.
​
I've explained that most days of the week we do just that, and that this is something we only do on Fridays or rain days when we are stuck inside, but they aren't budging. I think they have a misguided idea of the game and what it is, or maybe they are just fundamentally against it, I'm not sure. I don't think it's to the level of like the era of thought where media and the masses thought DnD was some kind of satanic game, but I feel like there could certainly be a bit of that.
​
Anyway they want it to stop immediately. I've told them I'm not forcing anyone to play, and that if they really feel that way they are within their rights to tell their child they don't want him playing, but they are trying to take it a step farther and get it banned. ALSO I would feel horrible if this child were forbade from playing while all his friends have a blast doing so. Just doesn't seem right.
I understand that it's a game that can involve more mature themes and gameplay, and probably isn't reeeeeeeeally for super young folk, but I feel the way I'm running it mitigates this for the most part: there's no PVP (so no bullying can happen), I'm dealing with waaaaaay less serious themes and stakes, and I don't even include any circumstances where they fight any other humanoids -- strictly just heroes fighting big bad monsters and saving towns. You know the drill.
So yeah long story short(ish) the parents of the one child have called a meeting with HR to discuss the playing of this game at the YMCA. I have it on Sunday. I'm confident I'm gonna have to effectively state my case and explain why I think this is not only an okay thing to be doing, but actually in fact a good thing. I don't know if I'll be able to fully sway them if their mind is already made up, all I can do is just speak my truth haha.
I do whole-heartedly think this game can be super beneficial for young folk. I'll spare you my long form thoughts, but between the teamwork and communication required and rewarded, the problem solving (both ethically and logically and mathematically), AND the improvisation emphasized, I think it stimulates a young mind very well. Lets them escape their own world for a bit and take agency and feel they have control, something young people so desperately desire.
So in conclusion, I'm kinda just writing this to get it off of my chest and vent, BUT I guess my questions would be:
​

• do you have any advice on how to properly communicate my points on why this game can be beneficial for young minds?

​

• Do you know of any other benefits I'm missing?

​

• have you ever had experiences similar to this?

Or maybe you disagree with me and think I'm out of line here, which is totally fair too. Just looking to start some dialogue.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Thackebr

I know it is a hassle, but if you get to keep Dnd, you might want to start requiring permission slips. That way, you could avoid this in the future.

The_Law_Of_Pizza

This will make it less likely for the OP to get a surprise angry parent, but I don't like the precedent of demanding permission slips for a mundane board game.
It sets up an expectation that D&D is different in some way, and gives ammunition to these weirdos who are still trapped in the Satanic Panic - it lets them point to the permission slips and say, "Look, even your own policies admit that this is something to be hidden behind barriers and parental approval."
At a certain point we have to stand up to these people in society and tell them that they're being ridiculous and that we won't concede to their demands under any circumstances. That takes a great deal of backbone by the YMCA administration, though.

~
probloodmagic

Geez. Really putting the "C" in YMCA. I imagine looking into how people fought back during the "Satanic Panic" might provide some good advice for this.

u/efrique had a great comment about handling a new round of the satanic panic
Here
Many offered sites that share good info about why DnD is helpful and beneficial to kids
thatdanglion

You can point the leadership and parents to the numerous studies showing the many ways playing D&D is beneficial for kids, too. One, for example.

g3rmb0y

I just looked through this thread, there's a ton of great stuff here.
Some additional good orgs that talk about the therapy side are: https://gametogrow.org/ https://geektherapeutics.com/ https://rollforkindness.com/ (That's me) https://www.thebodhanagroup.org/

dgendbreau

D&D has also been shown to be useful in teaching kids about social skills, creative writing, theory of mind, mental math, team work, problem solving etc.
https://dnd.wizards.com/resources/educators

Update May 13, 2024
Made a post a few days ago about how I run a DnD campaign for some kids in an after-school program I run for the YMCA, and subsequently how the parents of one of the kids was trying to get the game banned and whole operation shut down. I wasn't sure the best way to make an update, but I linked the whole original post above so you can have a read if you'd like ^
So firstly genuine genuine genuine big thanks to everyone who took the time to read and respond with input and suggestions. It means a ton and really helped a lot. So I'm just gonna jump right in with what happened.
Firstly, I took the advice about getting testimonies from parents who were super happy that I was playing this game with their kids -- we weren't allowed to have outside visitors involved in the actual meeting with HR, but I got emails and messages from mostly every parent (besides the one complaining about it lmao) to voice their support and why they think this is not a harmful thing, and in fact actually a good thing. I really think this helped a lot and was a big factor, so thanks everyone who suggested. It's not something I would've thought to do on my own ahahah.
I didn't want to come in toooooo heavy with the articles and very clear scientific proof about the benefits of developing minds playing TTRPGs', because (as it turned out) this was actually more just conversational and "pleasant" than I thought it was gonna be, at least from HRs side. I did mention to them the multiple studies done on this exact scenario, but it turned out I didn't even really need them. There were definitely moments of tension, but this was a more civil conversation than I anticipated from all parties involved. I'm not sure if it was the fact that the parents who complained had to talk to me in person WITH my bosses and HR reps present and it calmed them down a bit? But yeah anyway.
I wish it was a more dramatic story, but basically I just levelled with them person to person.
People who said they were betting on it being a Christian, satanic-panic angle: you were right, mostly anyway. As in, that was definitely a main part of their argument. They are in fact Christian and were concerned, but it was really coming from a place of ignorance about what this game is about, and they specifically didn't understand the fact that the DM (me) can entirely control what the contents of it is. I'm assuming they just googled DnD and probably saw some things they didn't agree with, but once I explained that the way we were playing it included no demon spawn or worshipping, or any killing of other humans, or allowing of murder-hobo activity, they softened up a bit. I told them it's a strictly G/PG rated experience that I'm curating for them. And of course I explained the social and academic benefits of DnD, and how much of a bonding activity this is for the group, and how much their son in particular loves it. This helped big time.
Ironically, it was their other argument about wanting active engagement for their child (ie; sports lol) that was a little harder to combat. From their and HRs perspective, this whole program and the YMCAs MO IS in fact healthy active engagement. I explained that most days of the week we are doing just that. I'm a tennis instructor as well and have played sports all my life (and they know this), so I tried to assure them that I get their child a SOLID amount of engagement (plus free tennis lessons effectively haha). I'll save you the whole back and forth, but this was a majority of our 45 minute meeting.
Im trying to wrap this up with a bow but not sure exactly how, so I'll just finish with the bullet points from the end of the discussion:
• The game is not banned! HOORAY HOORAY!
• I am now only allowed to play it with them once a week (on Friday), but all things considered I'll take this as a win!
• and best of all, the complained parents are letting their kid continue to play!!!! I'm sending them a detailed summary of the contents of my game so they can look it over, but they said with it now "officially" only being once a week, and with a better understanding of what it actually is, they will let him to continue to play. I'm so unbelievably happy.
So boom. Happy ending. Again big thanks to everyone for giving their advice and linking resources; it helped so much and meant a lot. This is a big win for "the community" I feel, at the risk of sounding too corny. You are all the best. I love this game so much 🥹
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP explains how they made DnD G/PG rated

So the method I've taken is that this is mainly an explorative and mystery solving campaign. There is combat occasionally, but it's heeeeeavy on the RP aspect of these aforementioned things (aka 7 kids screaming over each other lmao)
I briefly mentioned in the previous post that when I do involve combat I don't include any that js player versus any humanoids -- so no "killing" of bandits or raiders or pirates or anything resembling, it's strictly taking out big bad monsters, or a big spidebats/owlbear or whatever when it does happen. This takes a big amount of the potential nastiness out: Timmy cant go home saying "Mom I killed 4 dudes today!", regardless if he understands the deeply political and socio-economic rooted reasons why it may be justified he did that 🙄 hahahah.
So yeah eliminated that entirely, strayed away from words like "kill" or "dead" or certainly "murdered", and have a very very "heroes save the town from mishaps" type adventure. For a quick example our last plot hook/beat (which ended up taking up like 3 Fridays because of how long it can take with young kids hahaha) involved them stumbling into a town and discovering that it holds the map to an ancient treasure that is rumoured to be buried in a magical woods nearby. Maaaaaany puzzles and skill checks later they found it deep in the woods by a magic tree and had to answer (very basic) riddles from the speaking and living tree in order to get access to it. They succeeded and absolutely loved it and there was no combat at all.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Disclaimer: I am not asking this for any personal advantages of any sort. this might just help condense and build a wiki for this specific sub.
I am quite a non-active tech enthusiast who loves to organise and build random excel databases for myself. My current situation has put me in a spot where I need to upgrade almost all my tech (phone, laptop, speakers, TV, etc)
Pretty sure avg IndiaTech user is better informed compared to me. It would be great if we could build a buyers guide for the general population too. Not sure how this would be taken in this sub but just shooting my shot.
If this does work in the the long run, I am sure we'll be helping A LOT of people.
Things to note:

1. Please only mention products that you can personally vouch for. (this is going to depend on trust)
2. Please be specific of any problems you face while using it
3. Please make sure to cross check the information (I will do my best to cross-check the info before adding it into the sheet. but would be great if we can self confirm)
4. Please make sure to not repeat any products
5. Reply to the category comment with the same format for the data as this will make populating the database quicker

Categories I plan on adding (would love to expand further in the future)

• Mobile Phones
• Laptops
• Speakers
• Earphones (TWS, neckband, wired)
• Adaptors
• TVs

message to the MODs: I do not intend to keep this sheet and will be sharing the original files with you guys to host the file and verify if needed.

Welcome to the Weekly Employment Question Thread!
This thread is where you can ask questions about joining, training to become, testing, disqualifications/qualifications, and other questions that would be removed as individual posts per Rule 1.
The answer to almost every question you can ask will be "It depends on the department". Your first step is to look up the requirements for your department, state/province, and country.
As always, please attempt to resource information on your own first, before asking questions. We see many repeat questions on this sub that have been answered multiple times.
Frequently Asked Questions:

• I want to be a Firefighter, where do I start: Every Country/State/Province/County/City/Department has different requirements. Some require you only to put in an application. Others require certifications prior to being hired. A good place to start is researching the department(s) you want to join. Visit their website, check their requirements, and/or stop into one of their fire stations to ask some questions.
• Am I too old: Many departments, typically career municipal ones, have an age limit. Volunteer departments usually don't. Check each department's requirements.
• I'm in high school, What can I do: Does your local department have an explorer's program or post? If so, join up. Otherwise, focus on your grades, get in shape and stay in shape, and most importantly: stay out of trouble.
• I got in trouble for [insert infraction here], what are my chances: Obviously, worse than someone with a clean record, which will be the vast majority of your competition. Tickets and nonviolent misdemeanors may not be a factor, but a major crime (felonies), may take you out of the running. You might be a nice person, but some departments don't make exceptions, especially if there's a long line of applicants with clean records. See this post... PSA: Stop asking “what are my chances?”
• I have [insert medical/mental health condition here], will it disqualify me: As a general rule, if you are struggling with mental illness, adding the stress of a fire career is not a good idea. As for medical conditions, you can look up NFPA1582 for disqualifying conditions, but in general, this is not something Reddit can answer for you. Many conditions require the input of a medical professional to determine if they are disqualifying. See this post... PSA: Don't disqualify yourself, make THEM tell you "no".
• What will increase my chances of getting hired: If there's a civil service exam, study for it! There are many guides online that will help you go over all those things you forgot such as basic math and reading. Some cities even give you a study guide. If it's a firefighter exam, study for it! For the CPAT (Physical Fitness Test), cardio is arguably the most important factor. If you're going to the gym for the first time during the hiring process, you're fighting an uphill battle. Get in shape and stay in shape. Most cities offer preference points to military veterans.
• How do I prepare for an interview: Interviews can be one-on-one, or in front of a board/panel. Many generic guides exist to help one prepare for an interview, however here are a few good tips:

1. Dress appropriately. Business casual at a minimum (Button down, tucked in long sleeve shirt with slacks and a belt, and dress shoes). Get a decent haircut and shave.
2. Practice interview questions with a friend. You can't accurately predict the off-the-wall questions they will ask, but you can practice the ones you know they probably will, like why do you want to be a Firefighter, or why should we hire you?
3. Scrub your social media. Gone are the days when people in charge weren't tech-savvy. Don't have a perfect interview only for your chances of being hired gone to zero because your Facebook or Instagram has pictures of you getting blitzed. Set that stuff to private and leave it that way.

Please upvote this post if you have a question. Upvoting this post will ensure it sticks around for a bit after it is removed as a Sticky, and will allow for greater visibility of your question.
And lastly, If you're not 100% sure of what you're talking about, leave it for someone who does

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/IcemanEx54
GM Locked Me Out Of Interacting With Other Players Because I Got Confused
Originally posted to rpghorrorstories
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, controlling behavior, sexism
Original Post March 6, 2024
I'm a player in a tabletop RPG campaign and I just wanted to vent about this session. The GM uses a "rules light" homebrew system and it's his homebrew world as well. He's been doing this campaign for years now, but I just joined through a mutual friend after another player left recently.
When I joined the campaign, the GM had told me he wanted me to be from a particular country as a prince, and since it was his homebrewed world, I went with it. The country I'm a prince of is a massive empire that has conquered many lands. I wanted to be a morally good character so I made up a backstory where my prince had a secret romance with a commoner so it gave me more empathy and understanding than my other royal peers would have. Then in session 1, he had the commoner immediately break up with me since the players were all leaving the city session 1.
Several sessions later, there is a carnival being hosted in the empire and all the players are attending. The players split up and my part began with my character watching as a mentally handicap child was put in the dunk tank and was being dunked against his will. So I had my character help the child and stop the game (This isn't relevant to the larger story but I thought it was really weird). Then I am told I have to go to the "main stage" which is just a strip club seemingly. And of course, walking around topless serving drinks is my character's commoner love interest that I made in session 0. The GM laughs a bit and comments, "Isn't it funny? Look at what your ex has to do without you." I have my character give her the shirt off his back and we go to the outskirts of the carnival to find a quiet place to talk, but then the carnival was ambushed by some enemies as arrows and fire rained down on the parade.
Suddenly, my character and his ex are teleported back to the main stage and the GM starts jumping back and forth between all the player characters asking what we want to do without any sort of initiative and if we don't respond quickly enough he skips to another player. I ask, "What direction are the arrows coming from?" GM, "You can't tell". "Which direction to the palace?" I ask. "You don't know," he tells me. I'm honestly genuinely confused about what to do here and my mind goes blank, but then the GM has my bodyguard (a Brienne of Tarth type) tell me to follow her so I do. As he cuts back and forth, another player loses his mom in the chaos, I tell GM, "I want to help him find his mom." "You can't see him" GM tells me. Then I ended up surrounded by 12 ambushers in the "Pleasure Gardens". GM asked what I would do. I say since the carnival is burning, I look for a piece of wood on fire and since it's the pleasure gardens maybe there's some oil I can spill and light on fire to separate myself, my bodyguard, and ex who are all with me from the ambushers. He tells me there's no oil and then I'm held down by the men. I tried to escape, but he says I failed (he just did a dice roll behind his screen and didn't tell me the results). I am then hogtied by the ambushers with my bodyguard and ex and thrown in a cart. Meanwhile, the other two players have stolen a cart and are escaping. I try to do a goofy wave as my character is tied up towards my companions and he just says, the carts never pass each other so the other players don't see you. Before the session ends he tells me my bodyguard is dead.
After the session, I think my body language showed I was a bit bummed. So GM pipes in, "You want to know why you failed that encounter?" He proceeded to tell me it was because I followed my bodyguard and there was no way a woman could have protected me and I needed to make the choice instead. Some of the other players chimed in and said it was surprising my bodyguard failed since in the lore she was a 20-year veteran who survived "The Great War". The GM keeps defending his choice. Then he started making self-deprecating jokes about how he just sucks then and he's the worst GM ever until the other players all reassure him it's fine. I kind of just sat there shell-shocked.
His system reduces dice rolls to a rarity and he does them all himself as a "way to keep tension". I'm honestly more about hanging out with my friends than judging the quality of any campaign or system but this was my first "combat" of any sort in the campaign and I just felt so helpless in this system and it was frustrating. Plus there are no insight or persuasion rolls, just what the GM claims "my character would know" and "how his NPCs would act". So I'm not sure how I was supposed to handle this encounter. Being a GM myself, I thought he was using my bodyguard character to get me back on track, but I thought wrong. I honestly wouldn't have minded if he was just railroading me for a plot point, but him trying to manipulate me and saying his hands were tied when he essentially locked me out of interacting with the other players for the rest of the session is what bothers me the most.
Edit: Changed gaslighting to manipulating since I was using the term wrong and don't want to dilute it's meaning.
Update: GM Defends Style And Told Me He Owns My Character March 20, 2024
This is an update from my post a couple of weeks ago.
One of my friends in the group reached out to me and asked me to not leave the group. He told me there were only 2 sessions left and asked me to stick around as a favor to him. I told him I'd reach out to GM and see if we could get on the same page. So I texted the GM and told him I wanted to talk because I had some concerns after the way everything went down last session. He was down and we talked on the phone a couple of days later. To my surprise, the first thing he did was profusely apologize. I hadn't been responding in our group chat, partly because I was mad and partly because my partner had a death in her family. I guess me not responding caused him to dwell on the last session a bunch. He said he was going to retcon my bodyguard's death and keep her alive. I even told him that the treatment of women in the campaign was bad and that it was making the story worse, he told me that it is something that he can work on being better about too. I was surprised, but all this gave me a lot of optimism for this conversation.
I was honest and I told him that his homebrew system is very difficult for me since I don't have a character sheet. So my character doesn't have abilities, he doesn't level up, and I can't do things like roll investigate or perception rolls which makes it hard for me to make informed decisions. I told him it makes me very risk adverse because I don't have things like HP to even know if I'm in danger. He responded to this by telling me I shouldn't worry about that because his GM style rewards me if I roleplay well enough. He went on to say he hates systems with things like perception rolls because that's "Not how real life works".
I also lamented the fact that I also don't get to interact with the other players much. I didn't mention this in my first post, but he plays with all of us in a Discord call but he only plays with us one at a time, and the two of us who aren't playing are expected to listen and record notable quotes for his notes. He'll switch between characters where each player gets 2-3 "scenes" in a 3 hour session. He has our characters all spread out across the country Game of Thrones style and I've only gotten to play with another player in 2 sessions so far. This was also why that carnival scene was so frustrating because all 3 players were finally in the same place and we were trying to find each other and he just kept saying, "You don't see them".
He told me that he doesn't do party-based adventures because you can't get character growth that way. I pushed back and said I've seen awesome character growth in traditional DnD style games in the past, it just depends on the group. I also said he's just making things harder for himself by trying to run three campaigns instead of one. And if we don't have character sheets and aren't in a party then this is all more dramatic improv than a tabletop RPG.
He responded by saying his way is better because it creates a real story and that I should be happy because he made me the main character. (I guess that is what me being the prince means?) He then went on a rant about how much he loves the game world he created and he's very grateful that our characters brought it to life. But then he says that since it's his world, he feels like he owns our characters now and that after the campaign he wants us all to sign off on him using the characters to write books and a screenplay. And if we don't he'll just change their names and do it anyway. He then thanks me and tells me that this campaign is the main thing that has been stopping him from self-harm and going to dark places. Then he says he has to go and he rushes to hang up before I can say anything else.
I'm dumbfounded after that rapid-fire series of bombshells. I've known since the first few sessions that this was barely a TTRPG, but I got to hang out with my friends so I didn't care what it was. It was nice to hang out with old friends a couple times each month. Then the story got weird, and there was so much misogyny, and then I had the horrible session that caused my original post. Then in this conversation, he throws up even more red flags that I'm not blind to, but he is also planting a seed that he may harm himself without the campaign which is not something I want on my conscience. I'm just exhausted at this point.
TLDR: GM says that abilities and parties make TTRPGs worse and he wants to use our characters to write books/movies after the campaign because he owns them since we're playing in his world. He says he may fall back to self-harm without the campaign, making me feel guilty for wanting to leave.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ShitThroughAGoose

Any update to this?

OOP

I ended up doing one more session for the finale. There was some drama during that session and when I mentioned that I didn't want to play in the next season of the campaign. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about it again. I might still, but I think I want to take some time and reflect on everything.

Final Update May 11, 2024
[Final Update] Moving On From My Toxic DM And Losing A Friend In The Process
This will hopefully be my last post on this sub for a long time, but I’ve been using this place to vent about my toxic situation for a while so I figured I might as well post how everything concluded and what happened when I left. I’m going to reflect on everything and recap the important parts so no one has to read 3 posts.
It all started when I decided to start DMing to keep in touch with some college friends after graduation. During my first campaign, one of the players, Pirate, asked if his friend, Colorado, could join. I didn't really know Colorado, but I figured, "the more, the merrier."
Colorado had some issues early on, giving unsolicited advice to everyone on how to play and viewing newer or shy players as “side characters”. However, he frequently missed sessions, only showing up for less than half of them for the first few years so nothing came to a head early on. Then, Colorado decided he wanted to bring back his tabletop campaign from his college days and started trying to recruit players after my sessions. Pirate suggested I join the campaign, promising that Colorado was a better DM than player. Since I had been the Forever DM up to that point, I agreed to give it a go.
I created a character who was part of the royal family but enjoyed interacting with commoners in the slums, even having a secret girlfriend from that background. After that, Colorado also started hitting me up to help with the campaign. I ended up photoshopping character art for a bunch of his NPCs and I even drew his world map for him. I didn't mind doing it, as I do that kind of stuff for fun.
For our first session, Colorado had already created character sheets for us based on our backstories, but only he could see them. Colorado would also roll all the dice himself so “all we had to focus on is roleplaying”. We played one on one in different "scenes" that could last around 30 minutes to an hour each. We usually had around 2 to 4 scenes per session, depending on what Colorado thought was important. During the game, Colorado asked us to write down quotes from him and the other players when it wasn't our turn.
I had to wait for well over an hour before I could finally play. My first session was on rails. I mostly just had to repeat after Colorado during a ceremony. Afterwards, I got to sneak out of the castle and meet with my commoner girlfriend, but Colorado immediately had her break up with me. Then I was told that I had to leave the city. I was essentially locked out of my hanging out in the slums and commoner girlfriend subplots. NPCs generally disliked my morally good character, especially my sister who was depicted as purely evil towards me. Despite my efforts to mend the relationship, she never changed her mind and Colorado never rolled any dice to determine that. Later Colorado revealed to me the character was based on his ex-girlfriend, who was originally intended to be the player character from my country before they broke up.
Eventually, I finally got to interact with another player, Soldier, who I had really good chemistry with and we had a really fun scene. Which Colorado exclaimed, “See! This is why I keep you apart. It makes these moments so much more epic!” But I’m just thinking that if we were in a party, every session could be this epic.
Then Colorado got busy. He went to some alternative medicine nature retreat and didn’t pay his rent the whole time he was gone so he got evicted. At that point, the campaign went on hiatus as people got busy and Colorado was couch hopping. It was during that time I considered the campaign over and made my first post because I thought it fit the sub. Then a year after the last session, Colorado started trying to organize the group to do 3 more sessions to finish the campaign. I just ghosted the group chat for a while, but Pirate’s roommate is a player in the campaign I DM so Pirate started hopping on the call asking me to come back for the finale. Pirate told me that it would be different this time because all of our characters were going to meet up for the finale and he really wanted to play with me. I naively agreed to give the game a second chance.
The first of those three sessions led to this post and this follow up.
[TLDR - I never got to meet up with the other characters. Colorado made my ex a stripper and I was captured by invaders with no dice rolls to prevent it. I had a conversation with him about my concerns after the last session. He apologized and agreed to make changes saying he needed the campaign for his mental health.]
Colorado decided to have a single super finale session, which I reluctantly attended because of sunk cost fallacy. I was imprisoned, beaten and whipped, separated from my girlfriend and recently resurrected bodyguard. A deus-ex ninja offered to help me escape, but I wanted to save all the prisoners. So I helped the commoners escape with the ninja before saving my girlfriend. My bodyguard got captured, but I made sure my girlfriend escaped and then I went to save my bodyguard because I wasn’t letting her die after she just got resurrected. I tried to find my bodyguard but every door was locked and I was forced into a long one on one fight with a guard that would make John Carpenter blush. I lost the fight due to an unknown -2 modifier on my fighting rolls, leading to my re-imprisonment.
Pirate tried to board a boat to reach my location, but was unsuccessful. Colorado informed him that the sailors refused to let him on the ship because they didn't like his tone. Fortunately, Soldier saved me and we agreed to stop the big bad and rescue my bodyguard together. With a squad of Soldier's peers, we pursued the big bad into the woods. Without any rolls, all the other soldiers were sniped by archers.
Finally, the two of us reached the clearing where the big bad and his followers were. We were outnumbered about 30-2. My bodyguard and the other commoners were tied to a tree. Soldier was the same race as the villain so he approached while I stayed hidden. He delivered an awesome passionate speech against the big bad's actions saying that it wasn’t what their ancestors would want. I’m sitting there waiting and hoping for a persuasion roll… and nothing. Colorado says the big bad doesn’t change his mind and he sets the tree on fire, causing my bodyguard and the commoners to burn to death. Soldier and I retreated into the woods to end the campaign.
Pirate was supposed to have a scene after us, but he fell asleep because it was past 1am. Colorado kept trying to call Pirate on the phone. I joke, “Hey, we’re old now, being up past midnight isn’t as easy as it used to.” To which Colorado replies, “I just thought Pirate had more respect for me than this.” The Discord call becomes quiet and after Colorado starts focusing on Soldier and I. He wants to know why we’re not discussing the ending more. I remarked that it was a bit of a downer and I’m tired. Then Colorado starts spiraling, saying that RPGs are just another medium that he failed at just like film and music. HE STARTS CRYING and hangs up from the Discord call. Soldier and I stayed on and had a short “That was awkward” conversation. I don’t know Soldier well so I didn’t say much about my grievances with the campaign and eventually we ended up just talking about Baldur’s Gate 3 for an hour.
The next day, I wake up to a barrage of texts from Colorado apologizing, mansplaining how hard it is to be a DM as if I’ve never done it myself. He then starts sending me messages with all his ideas for my character in the next season and how he promises I’ll have more freedom next time. I wouldn’t understand, but he NEEDED to do the prison sequence and my bodyguard to die for my character growth, but next season will be different. I tell him I’m not doing another season. Colorado replies saying that he thought I’d say that because Pirate (who was apparently not sleeping) told him Soldier and I were bitching about the campaign after the session. Colorado said that once I get over it, we can start talking about season 3. I reaffirmed my stance. Then Colorado texts me one last time and asks if I’ll still make his maps and character art even if I don’t play. I said no again.
It's been two months since I last heard from Colorado or Pirate. We used to play games and talk about pro wrestling all the time, but now there's been no contact. A lot of the comments on my posts helped me realize I was prioritizing Colorado’s mental health over my own and I felt like it was my responsibility to support his campaign because he constantly referenced how important it was to his mental health. Intentional or not, he preyed upon my empathy. I’m not his Giving Tree and I shouldn’t be left a stump for a campaign where he doesn’t even want us to affect the world.
I sometimes worry Pirate is going through a similar situation to me, but for a longer period of time. Pirate introduced me to Colorado, and he's really loyal to him. I think that slowed down my exit from the group because I trusted Pirate to be my friend as well. I remember opening up to Pirate about a panic attack I had while Colorado was spiraling one day, and he just shrugged it off as me being dramatic. It's frustrating. I want both of them to be happy, but I can't make that happen for them, especially if it comes at the expense of my own well-being.
I ended up venting to some of my irl friends and they really supported and listened to me which is why I didn’t feel a need to vent here. I learned a lot about what not to do when DMing from this campaign and it made me reevaluate my approach to playing RPGs. Now I'm in a group with my irl friends and it's a blast. I can relax and just have fun playing again.
TLDR - I started DMing to stay connected with college friends who were scattered across the country. One player, Pirate, introduced me to Colorado, who eventually took over as the DM. Colorado had some unconventional methods, such as not using character sheets and controlling all the dice rolls. The game became focused on his storyline and my character had limited agency. Despite this, I gave the campaign a second chance. In the final session, things went poorly, and Colorado had a breakdown. Despite his apologies and promises for the next season, I decided not to continue playing. I have not heard from Colorado or Pirate since. I now play with my real-life friends and it's much more enjoyable.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDED INFO
TicketPrestigious

Glad you're doing better. That does sound like quite a toxic situation.
If I've understood it right, the stuff with Pirate 'falling asleep' but actually listening in to you and Soldier talking feels like a massive red flag to me. I understand worrying about him since you were/felt like you were friends, but if he's enabling Colorado with that sort of stuff then it's probably best to move on.

OOP

Yeah even the best case would be that Pirate woke up after Colorado left the call and just overheard Soldier and me talking without us realizing because his mic was muted and we assumed he had passed out and then he snitched after which is still a bad look tbh. I had been distancing myself from Pirate since he invalidated my panic attack prior to this. It's just hard to be vulnerable with someone again after that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Author's Note:
7700 words, broke Reddit's character limit, so you know the drill. Will be split into two parts, both posted today. Enjoy!
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"Stop! STOP!"
The terror in Kismet's voice rose higher as death drew nearer. He fled from Rob's grasping hand, but a Purge Divinity-infused fingernail managed to graze him, carving out a scoop of divine essence as if flaying a mortal's skin.
Kismet let out a screech as the Purging energy added to his growing collection of scars. A dozen small holes now dotted the surface of his mana-body, looking like he'd been pockmarked by wasting disease. Each wound represented a moment where the god had narrowly escaped with his life.
If those injuries had been inflicted by any other ability, then he could have rejuvenated himself in the time it took to blink. Purging energy was not so kind as that. It was purifying wrath in the shape of a Skill; their vengeance given form. Whatever divinity it touched, it extinguished.
As if cleansing the universe of a sickness that had infected it for far too long.
The BERSERKER continued his unrelenting advance. In response, Kismet threw up a frantic barrier of mana. It was strong enough to deflect one of Ragnavi's Annihilation beams–
And Rob blasted through it like paper mache. His charge sent broken shards of energy scattering across the divine realms. More mid-air rifts tore open, the HUMAN's aura strangling the surrounding area in a vice grip of power. Purge Divinity seemed to glow with light emanating straight from the pits of hell.
None of which was anywhere near as unnerving as the murder contained within his piercing gaze. When Kismet met Rob's eyes, he saw the end of eternity fast approaching.
The god's next barrier was just as frantic. However, this one was not comprised of mana, but of solid matter. Kismet summoned the hardest, most dense substance known to the mortal realms, then transmuted it into something that otherwise could only have been forged inside the heart of a dying star. It was many times more durable than the impossibly tough walls of an aberrant Dungeon.
So when Rob demolished it with a single punch, he actually had to put a bit of elbow grease into his windup.
Another wall materialized in front of him. He crushed it, then the one after, and the one after that, lashing out with bestial ferocity. The BERSERKER plowed through Kismet's hastily-built defenses like a bulldozer of fists and savagery. Rob was knocking them down as quickly as the god could make them, relishing the sensation of being able to vent his anger on targets that weren't fucking running away.
Then the twelfth wall fell – revealing a monstrous, spiky, fanged behemoth concealed behind.
Rob paused, momentarily taken aback at the sight of a mundane creature within the divine realms. 'Mundane' in relative terms, anyway. This monster was on par with a newborn Blight, radiating power that would have sent ordinary fighters sprinting for the hills.
It was also barely cognizant of its surroundings. The monster stared at him with unblinking, vacant eyes, just the tiniest glimmer of awareness present in its gaze. Rob noted that segments of its flesh were bubbling, as if the creature was fresh out of the oven and still needed to settle.
He couldn't help but feel a modicum of pity. This was yet another thoughtless creation, condemned to existence by an uncaring maker. Even monsters deserved better than that.
Rob caved the beast's head in before it could realize that it was alive. Pity was not the same as hesitation, and this was the only mercy he could afford to grant right now.
Didn't matter. Kismet's pawn served its purpose. In the brief instant that Rob spent getting over his initial surprise, the god had teleported to safety. He was already planning his next stunt that could buy him a few precious seconds of survival.
The HUMAN grimaced as he turned to give chase, unable to suppress the burgeoning sense of unease growing within his chest.
It almost didn't seem fair to feel that way. Rob knew he was winning – at least on the surface. Any outside observer would've bet their life savings on him, especially after the show of overwhelming superiority he'd just displayed. Kismet had been at a disadvantage before Never Forget Your Rage's recent upswing, and now it was no contest. Rob was confident that he would still be stronger even if the eight gods merged into one super-deity.
He also knew that he was living on borrowed time.
Whenever he moved, or activated a Skill, or even breathed...the sensation was there. Strength accompanied by incongruous frailty. Like background noise that kept getting louder with every action he took. His body felt close to pulling itself apart, as if his very molecules were a hairsbreadth away from coming undone.
It was different from Soul Instability. Whereas that threatened to collapse his soul, this frailty was an affliction of the flesh. The longer he fought, the more his physical form was at risk of popping like a balloon.
Such was the price of constraining godlike power within a mortal shell.
"Stay back!" Unaware of the turmoil fermenting in his assailant's mind, Kismet threw up his hands and...inverted...space? Rob didn't have a name for what he was seeing. Rather than stopping to puzzle out this latest brand of divine bullshit, he sent out a pulse of Purge Divinity, canceling whatever esoteric effect Kismet had been attempting to produce.
His Purging energy scraped against the divine realms like a cheese grater. Five rifts immediately tore open near both Rob and Kismet, with the god anxiously retreating from one that appeared just inches away from him. A low rumble echoed around them, and for a moment, they felt struck by an abrupt feeling of vertigo – until the realms gradually stabilized, righting once more.
For now.
Rob eyed the rifts with a detached, clinical gaze. An endless sea of mana resided behind them; the bedrock of the system itself. While he recognized that the rifts tearing open was bad news, he also couldn't really muster the energy to care. Between his overflowing rage, overtaxed body, and overburdened soul, minor details like the impending destruction of reality were hard to give much focus.
There was a way to fix all of that, of course. Rob couldn't outright deactivate Never Forget Your Rage – not without losing its bonus stats. But he could attempt to ease the storm of fury in his heart. By lessening his anger to more reasonable levels, Never Forget Your Rage would put less strain on both his body and the divine realms.
The notion forced a peal of hideous laughter to claw out of his throat. Lessen his anger? He'd have better luck trying to douse a volcano with a garden hose. No. For a wildfire that had grown this out of control, the only thing to do was stand aside and let it burn, burn, burn.
Until naught remained.
"I said stay back!" Kismet bellowed. He lifted his arms into the air. "Begone!" One moment later, Rob's vision was filled with scorching light. An apocalyptic geyser of mana burst forth from underfoot, intense and searing. It stripped the flesh from his bones in no time flat, powering through Almighty Resistance with pure, unmitigated violence.
And it still wasn't fast enough. Rob flickered a Purge Divinity shield for just an instant, allowing him to escape the geyser with his upper body – and most of his HP – intact. Lifesurge swiftly patched him up, leaving both combatants right back where they'd started.
Slowly, Kismet lowered his hands. They were shivering. "What are you?" he whispered. "Why are all my efforts in vain?"
To be honest, Rob was mildly impressed that Kismet had held on for this long. The god's combat efficacy was increasing as time passed, improving from panic-spamming teleports to more inventive maneuvers – as if he was learning how to fight on-the-job. He'd also stopped draining the other gods to supplement his power, having found an alternative source of fuel: mana seeping out from the sporadically-opening rifts.
It was the one silver lining to fighting an implacable BERSERKER so powerful that he fractured reality. Whenever Rob utilized Purge Divinity, more rifts opened up in the realms, and more mana leaked out from inside. The gods had invested that energy into the system millennia ago, and it typically would've been off-limits until they closed up shop and left Elatra. Kismet was making use of it now, absorbing the extra mana to strengthen himself, like a lifeline barely keeping him afloat.
The god's tenacity was...calling it 'admirable' would be going too far, but it did warrant a sort of begrudging respect. As someone who'd tangoed with multiple Blights, Rob knew what it was like to square off against a frenzied beast that could end him with a touch.
Being the scary one was a nice change of pace.
In exchange, Kismet had graciously donned the role of their battle's Combat Class user; fragile, outgunned, and pulling improvised maneuvers out of his ass for a chance at victory. The god could finally feel what it was like to be vulnerable. How exciting! Rob was more than happy to assist. Learning experiences such as these only came around once an eternity or so.
Flippancy aside – while Kismet still possessed room for improvement, this was the most that could be asked of a deity who hadn't seen combat in literal eons. His biggest fuckup had been taunting Rob in the wrong ways, but he couldn't have known about Never Forget Your Rage, that was an excusable oversight. By all other accounts, Kismet was performing adequately.
Even so...
"YoU aRE noTHinG."
The sound of Rob's voice caused two fresh rifts to open up. Kismet flinched, casting a teleportation spell out of pure reflex. Without pause, the HUMAN resumed his hunt.
Nothing. Perhaps that statement was hyperbole – yet it rang true nonetheless. While Kismet may have been a creature of supreme divinity, on the field of battle, his pedigree meant nothing. In the face of an implacable, unstoppable foe, his power was worth nothing. Very soon, he would be nothing, consigned to oblivion by Purging energy.
Rob couldn't help but unfavorably compare Kismet to the final Blight. Weren't these supposed to be two sides of the same coin? Each one-half of an original transcendent Will? Yet the Second Will had brought Rob to the edge of despair...and Kismet was fleeing like a cornered rodent. It was difficult to reconcile the two divinities as theoretical equals.
Although he knew that was an unfair comparison. Rob had fought the Blight before learning Limit Break and Never Forget Your Rage. Kismet wasn't weak.
The HUMAN was just far too strong.
If he rematched the Second Will today, he would beat it to death with his bare hands.
"Look at what you've wrought!" Kismet swept an arm out, gesturing towards some of the many rifts that Rob's presence was tearing open. "Do you understand what will transpire if you persist in this folly?! If the divine realms shatter, then so will all of Elatra! You are on the brink of destroying everything which you have striven to protect! Cease this–"
"CAN'T."
In a flash, Rob dashed forward and scooped out a chunk of the god's mana-body with Purge Divinity. Before he could do more, Kismet shrieked with pain and teleported away, leaving the BERSERKER to crush his prize between five clenched fingers.
"FoRCed mY HAnD." He located Kismet again. "NO GOING BACK."
Stopping wasn't an option. If the divine realms crumbled and Elatra imploded...well, that would be a faster end than what the gods had in store for its people. At least this way their deaths would be quick and hopefully painless – and his friends wouldn't be turned into Skills tortured for all eternity.
Still, Kismet did have a point. Destroying reality wasn't exactly the ideal outcome. There had to be a way to speed up the conclusion of their fight. Rob was certain he would win if given enough time, but he couldn't guarantee it would be before either his body or the divine realms collapsed.
{Ascend.}
Like a snake slithering through a minefield, Leveling High skirted past the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions raging within Rob's mind. He attempted to tune out its voice, yet Humanity's curse refused to be denied, the static loudening until he was compelled to respond. Quit distracting me, he snapped. In case you haven't noticed, I'm FUCKING. BUSY.
{You seek to ensure victory over those who rule above,} Leveling High continued, without missing a step. {As do I.}
Then sit back, shut up, and–
{Ignoring your deficiencies will not make them disappear. This body is...feeble. Incomplete. Unfit to wield the power contained therein. Like a polished sword attached to a brittle hilt, liable to snap in twain at any moment.}
Rob grit his teeth. He couldn't deny Leveling High's assertions. Normally he'd just tell it to piss off, but considering how much was at stake here...
With a feeling like he'd sat down to deal with the devil, Rob sighed. Then what do you propose? That we upgrade my body somehow? I don't think putting more points into Vitality would help, even if I had any to spare. Me being so juiced up on stats is half the problem.
It shook its head. {You have far surpassed the limitations of mortality. Strengthening your power further would be akin to pouring water into an overflowing cup.}
So we...what, increase the size of the cup?
Static akin to laughter echoed inside his head. {We do away with it entirely.}
An icy chill began creeping up Rob's spine, as if the cold hands of fate were working their way towards his neck. He recalled a system notification from days before – 'Your Race has morphed from Human (?) to: Ascending HUMAN'.
Not Ascended. Ascending.
Weeks-old memories came surging to the forefront. 'The Heartkiller is closer to our form of life than those you call friends,' the Blight-child of Elysium had once said. 'As long as you continue to live, eventually, you will become an existence with the power to crush the Others and free the Skills from their shackles. You are no longer one of the Ephemeral. Now, you are a cocoon, metamorphosing into something grander. When you emerge, you will be as the Eternal.'
The Blight-child had laughed at him, then. 'After joining us, preserving these worlds will no longer be your desire.'
Rob grimaced. Denied, he flatly told Leveling High. Whatever you're about to suggest isn't happening.
It scoffed at him. {Your prejudices blind you. Do you think the gods have need of physical bodies? Does it hinder them in any capacity? No – the opposite. By definition, infinity cannot be constrained. Discard this useless flesh, and your conquest of the divine realms is assured.}
Maybe you didn't hear me when I said–
{By all means. Spurn my counsel...and condemn your friends to death. Shall their lives be worth it, in the end?}
Rob sucked in air through clenched teeth.
{Ascend.} Leveling High purred with anticipation. {You are bound by a prison of meat, bone, and blood. Break free. Finish what has already begun. Gaze upon the tapestry of infinity in all its dreadful splendor. Seize victory not as a Human, but as a completed, transcendent HUMAN.}
With a scream to drown out the static, Rob chased after Kismet again and again. The god was in full-on panic mode, eschewing offensive attacks in favor of perpetual retreat, focused wholly on keeping the BERSERKER as far away as possible. He would teleport the instant that Rob laid eyes on him, frantically stalling for his life.
It was – quite unintentionally – providing evidence to Leveling High's claims. If Kismet was on the defensive, catching him would take time they might not have.
I... Rob narrowed his eyes. How would I finish Ascending, anyway? It isn't like I can just flip a switch and make it happen.
{Incorrect.}
He blinked. WHAT?
{You have long since achieved the qualifications for true godhood,} Leveling High explained, in a lecturing tone. {There is no milestone that remains necessary to achieve. Rather than needing to overcome some hurdle of strength or power, the obstacle barring your path is more...arbitrary. Self-imposed.}
Humanity's curse seemed to peer into his soul. When it spoke next, its voice was filled with disgust. {You remain mortal because you wish to do so – both consciously and subconsciously. The Ascension of a nascent deity has been obstructed by cheap sentimentality.}
Rob almost started an argument over its usage of 'cheap', but he exercised restraint, keenly aware that there was bigger fish to fry. Can't do anything about the subconscious. I am \not* activating Melancholy Resistance.*
{Nor should you,} Leveling High remarked, shuddering at the prospect. {A grand statement of intent will be sufficient to shift your mentality. I believe...yes.}
The static churned like a hive of buzzing wasps. {When you next tear off a piece of the leader god's mana...even if just a sliver...devour it. Gorge yourself on their essence.}
Bile threatened to rise to the top of Rob's throat. Seems excessive, he mused, trying and failing to keep his tone lighthearted. To become a god, I eat a god? Wouldn't that make me a divine cannibal?
{You ARE a cannibal.} Leveling High's voice wavered, its veneer of helpfulness slipping to reveal the madness that lay beneath. {What do you think you've been DOING for nearly a YEAR? You kill, ingest your prey's Experience, and MAKE THEIR POWER YOUR OWN. This world is one of consumption and parasitism – devouring a god's essence is merely a more HONEST variant of THE SAME actions.}
...You clearly weren't paying attention during Diplomacy's PR lessons. Rob pursued Kismet once again, pressing his fingernails into his palms when the god hurriedly teleported away. There is such a thing as being too straightforward. If you want people to listen to you, then maybe dress up your words so they don't sound so horrifying.
{BUT AM I WRONG?}
Rob had no answer to that.
Bolts of divine mana peppered his skin. Kismet had barely managed to squeeze an attack in-between his escapes. The bolts ricocheted off Rob's skin like ping-pong balls, leaving minor scrapes and nothing more. It wasn't anywhere close to bypassing Almighty Resistance and his massive HP pool.
Yet it also reminded him of the mana-spears that Kismet had sent towards the rest of Riardin's Rangers. His Party members only possessed a shared, diluted version of Almighty Resistance, and their HP was a fraction of his. If Kismet aimed another attack of that caliber at them...how many would perish, right then and there?
Was Leveling High correct? What point was there to sentimentality if it just got his friends killed?
In truth, Rob knew that it didn't really matter if he completed his Ascension. Based on what he had planned for himself after the gods were dead, little would change either way. Still...he also knew that Ascending would be a one-way trip. No take-backs. If he went through with it, a fundamental part of him would be irrevocably altered.
Something twinged in a corner of his mind. It wasn't Leveling High, or his rage, or any of the other emotions currently dominating his headspace. This was a familiar friend; perhaps Rob's #1 most trusted confidant since he'd first set foot in Elatra. One that had rarely ever steered him wrong.
Paranoia.
And at the moment, it was telling him to be very careful before jumping into the deep end.
Ten teleports.
{What?}
Give it ten more Kismet teleports, Rob said. If I haven't dealt him a serious injury by then....I'll do what I need to do. He grimaced as Kismet vanished before he'd even finished the thought. Ten starting now.
Leveling High's static quieted. It resembled a patron at a restaurant who'd ordered their meal, and was waiting patiently for the main course to arrive.
Rob didn't waste time being offended over its nonchalance. Free of distractions, he immediately swept his gaze across the divine realms, pinpointing his quarry in a micro-instant. The BERSERKER dashed forward, pushing his body as far as he could, layering Rampages on top of Dexterity that made the laws of physics want to curl up and weep.
Kismet was prepared. He'd drawn more mana from the fractured rifts, quickening his speed and reactions. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep his head above water, not yet outpaced by their continually escalating arms race.
The HUMAN struck, the god fled, and both were left in the same position as before.
{One.}
Rob turned on a dime, charging without needing to look. He'd heard the moment that Kismet's teleport ended. It afforded him a split-second head start.
A gravity well suddenly appeared below his feet, as if a miniaturized black hole was weighing him down. Apparently, Kismet had set it up ahead of time as a just-in-case trap. Rob pierced through the spell's area of effect before it could ramp up to something dangerous, but his pace was slowed by a hair in the process, and his prey escaped.
{Two.}
You know what? Screw this. Rob whirled away from Kismet's newest location and blasted straight towards one of the lesser deities that his Party members were fighting.
He'd been too hung up on getting even with a hated foe – when there were seven other juicy morsels for him to play with. This way, Kismet would either sit back and watch as his allies were massacred, or the god would be forced to act instead of running like a goddamn cowar–
Sense Mana alerted Rob to magic gathering behind.
Pivoting, he leapt into the air. Rob superimposed himself in front of Kismet, bodyblocking the rainstorm of destructive mana that was about to be unleashed upon Riardin's Rangers.
Due to his swift response, the attack was released early. A simple Purge Divinity shield prevented him from incurring any damage. Rob still felt no sense of triumph as the mana dissipated around him. He just wasn't fast enough to kill the lesser gods and protect his Party at the same time – or at least not fast enough that he should gamble their lives on it.
Kismet disappearing a moment later didn't help matters either.
{Three.}
Frontal assaults weren't guaranteed to succeed, and targeting the other gods was a no-go. Could he take Kismet by surprise? Increase his Dexterity?
Rob contemplated mining Never Forget Your Rage for more stats, but swiftly vetoed the idea. His body was already struggling to hold itself together. Putting additional strain on a shaky foundation seemed...unwise.
Plus – at the risk of eating crow in the near future – he didn't actually think it was possible to feel angrier at the gods than he was right now. Seriously, what was left?
He hated them for sending him to a fantasy deathworld. He hated them for tormenting his friends and family. He hated them for being partially responsible for the Blight. He hated them for what they'd done to Elatra and Earth. He hated them for all the lives they'd stolen. He hated them for being the living embodiments of indifference and cruelty. He hated that they fostered good PR among the people they oppressed. He hated how monsters of such craven hypocrisy were also immeasurably powerful. He hated the sensation of divine mana crawling on his skin. He hated the unsettling sound of their voices. He hated their bizarre formless appearances. He hated them for being pompous pricks. He hated whenever they tried to relate to him. He hated whenever they didn't.
Most of all, he hated that they were still alive.
Even if he found out that they'd personally antagonized him since birth or some petty nonsense like that, it wouldn't measure up to the litany of transgressions they'd committed thus far. The blazing inferno within his soul could burn no hotter. Should burn no hotter. For his sanity's sake, if nothing else.
Kismet teleported. It wasn't in response to anything. He'd merely anticipated some sort of action – and was then baffled afterwards when he noticed the rampaging BERSERKER standing quietly in deep thought.
{Four.}
Rob advanced. While he didn't have a plan yet, he'd also learned that if he gave Kismet the slightest amount of breathing room, bad things tended to happen.
Can any of my Skills give me an edge? Unfortunately, he didn't think so. As usual, his lack of ranged options was biting him in the ass when it mattered most. Almost everything he could use required getting in close – which was the whole freaking problem – and none would be more effective than Purge Divinity, regardless.
Maybe I could set up a Waymark point, then catch Kismet's teleport with one of mine...no, that won't work either. The odds of him popping in next to a random Waymark point are slim. Could fill the battlefield with lots of Marks, but even then I have to consider the Skill's activation time. With my current Dexterity, it'd honestly be faster just to run at him.
The vast majority of his abilities simply weren't up to par in a clash with divinity. Limit Break, Purge Divinity, and Never Forget Your Rage had been specifically designed by the Skills to facilitate deicide. Something like Power Slash couldn't possibly compare to jailbroken stats and a touch of death.
As an act of defiance against his own logic, he cast Enmity, the only ability that could feasibly hit Kismet at range. The god casually shrugged off its effect before promptly escaping.
{Five.}
Like a frustrated animal, Rob snarled and gave chase. Just need to keep trying. Kismet isn't perfect.
{Six.}
Sooner or later, he's going to mess up.
{Seven.}
He's going to mess up.
{Eight.}
HE HAS TO MESS UP.
Suddenly, Kismet transformed his right hand into a blade of mana. With one harsh motion, he sliced open his own left arm.
By now, Rob had conditioned himself to never stop moving forward, even if something shocked him – which this sight very much did. His mouth dropped open, and Leveling High paused in the middle of eating its metaphorical popcorn. They still kept advancing without an iota of hesitation.
And ran straight into the mana cloud leaking out from Kismet's wound.
Rob blinked, opening his eyes to a wonderful day. The twisting plains looked dazzlingly beautiful, with fauna and plantlife lit by rays of effervescent light from the twin stars shining above. People cheerfully went about their day, happily shaking their trunks in shows of greeting, or rattling their scales to initiate merry games.
All was at peace.
Until – in unison – everyone froze. The tumult of life went quiet in an instant, replaced with pensive silence.
As if they'd been struck by the creeping, pervasive sensation of being watched.
A sound rang out. Half of them immediately fell over dead, fluids gushing from their ruined bodies.
The survivors could only lay there, crippled and in pain, as more people slowly rose into the air. Invisible fingers seemed to pluck them from the ground – and then began ripping off their limbs, one at a time, like a child dissecting butterflies–
Rob dragged himself back to the present.
It had taken much less time than before to recognize what was happening. Now that he knew what to expect, experiencing the remnant souls' lives wasn't so different from the dreamlike quality of an Attunement vision. Although...realizing that he'd witnessed the end of a world preceding Elatra did cause his thoughts to hitch for a single moment.
Which was just enough for Kismet to forge a spear of mana, then send it plunging through Rob's eye, skull, and brain. Its tip was forged to shred anything it touched, no matter how durable or Resistant.
The god whooped with glee – only to wince as the HUMAN's sole reaction was a long, drawn-out sigh. With an air of exasperation, he reached up and yanked the divine spear free with a nauseating splorch.
His eye had been reduced to a seeping red mess. He closed its eyelid. When he opened it again, the orb within had already Regenerated, now sporting an unamused glare.
It was something of a unique moment. Mid-battle events didn't typically leave both combatants feeling disheartened. The all-powerful god was losing faith that he could ever hope to stop Rob's onslaught...
And the BERSERKER didn't know if he could justify continuing on like this. His body still felt like it was pulling itself apart; if anything, the sensation was growing more pronounced as their battle progressed. While Kismet would make a fatal mistake eventually, Rob couldn't guarantee that he would last long enough to capitalize on it.
Unless he followed Leveling High's advice and–
With a howl that shook the divine realms, Rob launched his stolen spear at Kismet. His aim was true, yet it sailed through empty air, the god's afterimage tauntingly fading away.
{Nine.}
Final chance.
​
--
​
Link to Part 2

Long story short, I recently got a job offer contingent upon passing a background check. I already have my start date, I need to put in my two weeks notice to my current Job In the next 48 hours.
The issue is that they're using a private company for background checks and I'm worried that my expunged and deffered misdemeanor (dwi) would be in a private database and come up. I'm still waiting for my copy of the consumer report.
The initial application from the employer specifically says this when going over backgrounds:
"When completing this section ,do not disclose information regarding convictions that have been judicially sealed, expunged, eradicated, impounded, or dismissed. Do not disclose information regarding juvenile court convictions or minor traffic violations. A conviction record does not automatically bar you from employment. All of the job-related circumstances surrounding convictions will be considered."
Because of this, I have not disclosed any of this information.
I don't want to sideline my current Job and tell them super late I'm leaving, I don't want to tell my potential new job about it if don't have to, AND THE KICKER I can't imagine putting in my two weeks until I know this won't disqualify my position.
Why would it say not to mention expunged charges? Am I good? Help.

Long story short, I recently got a job offer contingent upon passing a background check. I already have my start date, I need to put in my two weeks notice to my current Job In the next 48 hours.
The issue is that they're using a private company for background checks and I'm worried that my expunged and deffered misdemeanor (dwi) would be in a private database and come up. I'm still waiting for my copy of the consumer report.
The initial application from the employer specifically says this when going over backgrounds:
"When completing this section ,do not disclose information regarding convictions that have been judicially sealed, expunged, eradicated, impounded, or dismissed. Do not disclose information regarding juvenile court convictions or minor traffic violations. A conviction record does not automatically bar you from employment. All of the job-related circumstances surrounding convictions will be considered."
Because of this, I have not disclosed any of this information.
I don't want to sideline my current Job and tell them super late I'm leaving, I don't want to tell my potential new job about it if don't have to, AND THE KICKER I can't imagine putting in my two weeks until I know this won't disqualify my position.
Why would it say not to mention expunged charges? Am I good? Help.

DISCLAIMER ;;Long post. I need to vent and add background so apologies in advance...:
My Dad (56M) has just been admitted yesterday night to the hospital for an ischemic stroke. It turns out that he also had some old stroke history that we were not aware of after his initials test were done. He currently has a right droop and unable to move his right arm and leg. He's a stubborn guy who has been a long-term alcoholic and smoker also AFIB. Just last year he was admitted to the hospital for a scare. He was placed on blood thinners and high blood pressure medication however he has failed to take them in the prior month because he "felt better and didn't need to take them". The stroke doctor says he is not at risk for surgery but to expect lifestyle change, intensive physical therapy, and long term medication -currently MRI and another CT scan pending.
My concern is how to transition him into therapy and rehab all while navigating his job responsibility and with my dependent heavy family. My Dad works for USPS at one of their warehouses since the 90s and a lot of it as you can imagine is physically demanding. They have a union and he has BCBS insurance.
Can he medically retire at this point? Should he go on disability? FMLA? What am I expecting? I want to take the responsibility of the caregiver role, but how do I gain assistance (financially and resource) in doing so?
I'm at a loss and don't even know where to start. I just gave birth to a little girl a couple of months ago and just moved into a new apartment with my Husband. If it came down to it, my Husband and I agreed that we will prioritize in taking care of my Dad but how can we? My father is widowed and has always been the caregiver for my family as in he takes care of my epileptic narcissistic Grandfather (90M) and one of my siblings who has schizophrenia(29M). I'm sure all this took a toll on him and I just feel so angry about everything.
I'm pissed off at my extended family for suddenly taking interest in my Dad's health when they all abandoned OUR little family. I doubt any of my uncles and aunts would take my grandfather in so my Dad can have his time to recover. Sending me "take care of your Dad" texts just sends me spiralling out of control.
I'm pissed off at my grandfather for draining my Dad all these years.
I'm pissed off at my brother for being more concerned about losing his free ride on life (his words) and not about our Dad who just had a major health crisis.
I'm pissed off at myself for abandoning my Dad when I should've been there all along to help him despite our strained relationship. I'm pissed that I'm pissed.
And most of all, I'm pissed at Dad. For making the choices he made knowing he now has a granddaughter.
I just...-It just feels like we got the shit end of the stick for being a "black sheep family unit"...and I am at a loss - so any advice, guidance, or just other folks dealing with a similar situation is greatly appreciated.
Hopefully, he makes a speedy recovery and does some extensive Kill Bill wiggle your toes in between our visits. Like I said, he's stubborn so I hope he can channel that to getting better..

So for background, it wasn't until l (m23) really matured and starting paying attention more - about age 18, that I noticed this.
If you met my aunt (M) today, you would say that she was the nicest person ever. She asks genuine questions, she holds good conversation, and she does very nice things for other people. My mom and my other aunt just can't stand her though. They say she is narcissistic and that my aunt feels like she needs to be the "spokesperson" for the family. My mom and other aunt(R) (f61) call almost daily and spend at least a few minutes to talk shit on my aunt(M). My grandma even gets in on it and talks trash.
I started noticing that they constantly talked behind her back around 3-4 yrs ago and I would make fun of them for it. If I noticed that they were talking, I would ask if it was about Aunt M. Or I would sarcastically exclaim "Ohhh isn't she just the worst!" My mom and Aunt (R) have explained some of the things she does but I still really don't think its that bad.
Some examples:
Today at a restaurant, my mom was freaking out about how my Aunt (M) shared photos to the Aunt group chat of a family contractors baby. For reference, they have all met this man once. Apparently in conversation it came up that the contractors wife was due around Aunt Ms bday. Aunt Ms bday passed last month, and today, Aunt M shared a photo of the baby. My mom was flipping two fold. First, because its a man that our family doesnt know and why should they care, and second, why was she even following up? she says she is narcissistic and only cared to see if the baby was born on her bday... idk, I feel like its just being nice checking in.
My family was in my college town for my graduation. For reference, I have lived in this town for 4 years, my parents lived here for 5 years before I was born, but Aunt M also had a kid that went to my school and has spent some time here. My mom and Aunt R had a field day talking trash about Aunt M all weekend, how she had to micromanage everyone, make restaurant suggestions, direction and driving suggestions, housing suggestions etc. Like I've said before, I just feel like she is being kind and trying to help. my mom on the other hand says she acts like everyone is stupid and tries to belittle them.
I know its very hard to gauge from these one sided stories, and I kinda paint my mom and Aunt R out to be major jerks, but is this just a sister thing? I only have brothers and am quite frankly sick and tired of only hearing negative things out of their mouth about someone who I don't think is a terrible person. Any advice welcome. Thanks!

I (19m) have had a lot of problems between my divorced parents over the years, and I thought things had mostly calmed down by now but for the past year or so problems are popping up a lot. This post will get long.
Some background: My parents (39f & 39m) divorced a long time ago, back when I was in elementary school. It was very rocky for me when I was younger, as I lived (and still live) primarily with my mom, and she had a lot to learn and figure out about parenting in general, let alone being a single mom and trying to date to put her life together as best she could. Her dad, and my grandfather, was very rough on her when she was younger, and as a result she had a tough time trying to get on her feet and go to college, on top of my parents getting pregnant with me pretty young. After a while, she figured it out, and now I live with my mother, my stepdad (41m), my brother (14m) and a newborn sister who's a little over 2 months old.
I started college last fall at a prestigious & expensive STEM school I've dreamed of attending for a very long time. I had a very rough first year, as I've learned that I'm what people consider a "gifted kid" and never really learned a lot of things integral to learning and studying which made me burnout very fast and get lost easily. I'm going to be doing some personal coaching / therapy to see if I can work on this for this coming fall. Because of the price, my dad was very adamant about my joining an Army ROTC program on campus to earn a scholarship to cover my tuition, and in exchange I will be contracted to serve as an Officer for 8 years; 4 years active duty and another 4 in reserve. My dad is an Army vet and felt that it would be best for me to do, on top of him also having experience enough with the Army to help me. The process of discussing this stressed me out a lot over the summer as a rising freshman, and that's in addition to a lot of pressure from him to join the Air Force or Naval Academies instead of my dream school for the benefits. It stressed me out a lot, and it was very hard for me to articulate my discomfort with the entire thing since my dad basically gave me a recruitment speech for everything and broke it down on the basis of merit and reward rather than what I would be willing and able to do.
After a lot of turmoil between my parents and grandparents (grandfather & grandmother on my moms side who i will refer to as such; grandparent on my dad's side isn't relevant) we got my dad to relent and I committed to my dream school for that year. I also did go along with the ROTC plan since I do need the money, and I have found that for the most part I enjoy being in ROTC. During this time there have also been a lot of other issues but it would be too many to recount here.
Now for my problem.
My dad figured out about a Veterans Affairs rep on my campus, and we filed for a stipend that would pay out money to me as a dependent college student of a veteran. From filing this I would receive $1200 every month during school months.
My grandfather intended on buying me a car following high school graduation, but because of my dorm situation, decided to wait until after my first year of college since I wouldn't be able to use it until then anyway.
My dad discussed with my grandfather about keeping half of my stipend payments (which are wired to his bank account when they roll out at the start of every month) to save and giving me half. His reasoning was that my grandfather can be very difficult to work with sometimes, and he wanted to make a good impression on him by giving him money I would have saved to help cover insurance costs or other related things on the car once my grandfather buys it. The issue I and my mother took with this at first was that I had no say in how they decided things, but at that point I couldn't bring myself to say anything and sort of rolled over to go along with it.
Now, my grandfather is beginning to look for a car for me, but given my situation with finances and other things I ended up covering, I really need that money. I'm hoping for an internship at a company a family friend works at so that I can still have an income over the summer, but there's no guarantee, and I want to have my money accessible to me for what I need, and I trust myself to make sure I have what I need left over to pay for my car for the 2-3 months I will have it before I go back to school and my stipend starts again. I texted my dad about it yesterday, but he gave me a runaround about needing to "play things smart" with my grandfather, asking why my mom doesn't give me the child support money my dad pays her, and telling me that I need to be responsible and make sure that I'm contributing to my car with that money instead of leaving it all up to my grandfather.
I took a major issue because it wasn't my decision. I don't see how I'm being responsible and saving the money for the grandfather when it's in an account I can't access, and my dad was going to be the one giving it to him. I also didn't understand why I was trusted to sign up for the Army but not manage a few thousand dollars to save for car insurance. I wasn't able to properly articulate everything I thought and felt over text, but I questioned a lot of things and talked to my mom about what would be best for me. My dad also wanted me to set up a bank account with Navy Federal, which he uses, since he can instantly transfer the money to me if I really wanted it. I already have a bank account and I saw no reason to make another one. Apparently he wanted to avoid using Venmo so the money wouldn't be classified as income, and he wanted to make sure he could transfer money to me easier and also secure the bank's benefits for me early.
Today, I talked to my grandparents about the situation to see where things stood regarding the car and what money they needed. My grandfather had already called my dad and said I should have the money, and that if I blow it all before he gets the car then it'll be my problem when I can't pay for the insurance. My grandmother agreed with him and that was their stance on it. My mom also texted my dad in this time establishing that he shouldn't ask about a new bank account (he asked about it before and we told him no), and that she felt the need to step in because the situation has been very frustrating for me and I don't know how to approach these kinds of conversations with my dad anyway. He responded very aggressively and rudely and they didn't say anything beyond that.
He eventually came by to give me a check for that money and drop off my brother who had spent the weekend there, and he talked to me about how he felt alienated from me since I wasn't talking to him much over the past few months, being upset that I went to my mother about my problems instead of being a "grown man" and talking to him about it, and fighting so much about the money which gave the impression that I didn't trust him. I had a lot of feelings and thoughts, but I couldn't bring myself to say what I really felt when I spoke to him. I basically ended up saying what I needed and just let him leave.
This whole situation has me very upset, and I'm honestly feeling worse now after I have that money than I did before I asked him for it. I don't understand why I feel this way. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to talk to my dad but I get so nervous and anxious that I just can't be as open with him as I would be with my mom.
I just want help from others who may have experienced this kind of situation before, and to know if I'm going about the situation and/or my relationship with my dad wrong. So, AITA?

Title + a few extra questions. I scrolled through the sub and tags about layoff unemployment but I don't know if I have everything I need/what to include in my appeal so any help would be appreciated. Sorry this is super long, I just want to make sure I didnt exclude any info that couldve been the reason for my claim getting DQ'd.
I was laid off back in Feb as a part of a mass layoff, and my last day on payroll was in early April. I applied for unemployment at the end of April, and submitted a request to backdate my claim by 2 weeks after finding out I was eligible for unemployment- I moved here from out of state in August for my full-time job, and didn't know I was eligible since I don't have a state ID, but had established residency by living and working here. The backdated claim was approved saying I had a good reason to backdate, and also said the law that applies are: RCW 50.04.030 and WAC 192-110-115. I was told I have until June 3rd to submit my weekly claims for those weeks, but I didn't see a section to file my weekly claim for those weeks in the website, just for my current weekly claims- So that's my first issue- idk how to get my Backdated Claim logs submitted (the option was not available before or after my DQ).
I had also submitted a request to do a combined wage claim for Washington and the state I lived previously where I was working part time at my university, but I got a letter from Washington saying my state reported no work history for me. I have my W-2 to prove otherwise, and I don't think that had anything to do with my DQ since I was paid my first unemployment check the next week, and the amount I received was based only on my Washington income, but I'm not sure how I should go about appealing to see if I could still do a combined wage claim. It's a bit confusing since I was a student full time from Jan-May, but I was only part time <12 credits from May through December when I completed my program; neither of the laws cited mention anything about my enrollment so I don't think that was one of the issues for the DQ. The quarters my benefits are based on are July-Sep and Oct-Dec. So my second question is should I submit that appeal for a combined wage claim and just include my W-2 from my previous state, or am I just ineligible (which is fine if so)?
As far as benefits and the DQ, I had received my first unemployment payment last week, but a few hours later I got a notification that I was disqualified for unemployment and I have no idea why - it cited the same laws as the backdated claim that was approved- RCW 50.04.030 and WAC 192-110-115. When I looked it up in the subreddit and on the website, it just sounds like the first one is for when someone files for unemployment while they're still employed, or dont meet the minimum 680 hours requirement in the base year. My official last day of employment and paycheck was April 3rd (I did receive a severance payment 2 weeks later for agreeing not to open an employment lawsuit in the future), and i applied for unemployment starting the next calendar week April 8th. I had worked for >800 hours over 20 weeks from Aug-Dec in Washington alone since I was full-time (not including hours from my other state or from Jan-Feb/April). I still don't 100% understand the hour eligibility across states/in state/across quarters but my point is I definitely had the minimum 680 hours.
Again I was also laid off not fired or quit, it was a mass layoff where my role is eliminated and not replaced and not performance based. I have also been able and available this entire time, actively applying and interviewing for roles, logging that in my weekly claims etc and have not turned down any offers for work. I am also not on standby or anything.
That all said, idk what exactly to include in my appeal, I'm not even sure if I 100% understood the laws that they cited / what that correlates to. Right now I just am thinking I should include my dated layoff letter as additional documentation and maybe a link to a news article referencing the layoff, since I didn't include that documentation in my initial application, but I don't know if I need to include more information based on the cited laws, my part-time school, or out of state stuff?
Sorry again I know this is a ton of info, but any advice on these 3 issues would be greatly appreciated before I try to submit my appeals for anything

I took my exam yesterday (May 18) at home, and I found out today I passed 3AT! I did not believe I was going to pass. I absolutely thought I had failed and was planning on when to take the exam again. Like others, I thought I would share some of what I did and some recommendations especially if you are taking it at home. Of note, I used to work with college students and teach them how to improve their academic skills (not memorizing but mastering material, not freaking out at an exam, etc) so I wrote this with academic coaching in mind.
Things That Helped Me/My advice:

• Not believing all the "just take the test at a testing center" negativity. Taking a test at home (if you like your home) has some big benefits. This isn't to say everyone should do it, but if you want to do it, here is why it helped me:
  • I get it, lots of folks have bad experiences testing at home. A lot of things can go wrong and they aren't in your control all the time. But, I work from home 99% of the time and know my internet is reliable, I dont have interruptions, etc.
  • Theres a HUGE benefit in taking the exam in a place where you are very comfortable. If you have test anxiety, this is something to consider. I didn't have shoes on, I wore comfy clothes, I could control the temperature how I wanted, etc
  • Studying and taking your practice exam in the same environment as the actual exam can be another benefit, as this can help jog your memory! There is some science behind this.
  • You can use ALL of your break time. One of the things I saw in some posts where folks took the test at a testing center is the check in/out procedures ate up a chunk of their break time and sometimes the bathrooms seemed far. So they barely had a break. I actually chose to end my breaks early because I was able to relax and take the entire break as a break.
  • I had zero interaction from anyone at Pearson. No one sent me a chat (I didn't reach out either), I didn't have any issues while taking the exam, etc. This isn't good or bad, but just putting it out there that I felt like I was just taking an exam at my house like it was any other day.
• Learning Stuff!
  • Take practice exams...many, not the same one over and over though. Its ok to repeat them (I did) but dont take 1 practice exam 3 times and think you are ready.
    • As you get closer to the exam, take practice exams simulating the actual exam environment as much as you can - stick to the time limits, take 2 ten minute breaks, dont check your phone, etc
    • Review your correct and incorrect answers - know WHY the correct answer is the correct one. This is what can take the most practice because you have to think like the PMI wants you to think
  • Know the terminology - the SH+ games are great for this, specifically the Crossword but it wont capture all the terminology you need to know.
  • Use all the resources people mention here because one of the best things you can do is use different formats of learning to take in information - especially if it repeats itself!
    • Some folks learn best by writing things out, some learn best by hearing it, etc. Most people learn best by ALL of these things together. You probably didn't realize in K-12 that your teachers were using many modalities to teach you stuff. Think like a K-12 teacher and create a lesson plan with many different activities on the same topics and review it over and over (each review in different modalities that work for you)
    • Example - for one topic - Watch the videos folks suggest, and read through the notes from Third3Rock, make your own flashcards and talk it out
    • Talking it out is an underrated/under utilized learning modality. The purpose of this is acting like you are teaching someone else. Some of you might be able to teach another person like your roommate, partner, or child. But if you dont have a human or a pet to teach PMI topics to, get a plant, a pillow, a ghost, etc. Talk the topic out as if you are explaining it or having a conversation about it with another person. If you can't explain it to someone else, you dont know it enough.
    • I am someone who learns by writing things out. Not typing (although I do learn that way), literally writing. But if you are like this too, make sure to put it IN YOUR OWN WORDS. Dont just copy whats on the screen/paper on a index card.
    • Create your own visuals. Not of everything. Just the stuff YOU know you need to see/read again. There are some great visuals out there already too!
    • A few days before my exam, I re-wrote some of the main concepts I wanted to remember on larger pieces of paper (printer paper) with colorful markers. This included topics/questions I wasn't so confident on, important terminology, etc. I used a lot of paper...and then I taped them to the walls in my hallway. I didn't put them in my office because I knew I'd have to take them down before the exam and I didn't want that stress. So I put them in the hallway and would pause and read them, talk them out, dance while singing the topics, etc. Its like an information radiator for yourself and again, there's science behind how these things can help some people learn.
  • You dont need an expensive "bootcamp" or pricey course to learn this material. With the amount of free or cheap options out there (all the things you see mentioned in this subreddit), you dont necessarily need to shell out a lot of money for anything else. My work paid for an expensive bootcamp. I did it and wasn't impressed. It was like drinking from a firehose and the worse way anyone can learn information - hearing someone talk at you for 8 hours a day for 4 days in a row. I dont recommend this at all. I did not use my notes nor resources from this bootcamp for anything. There could be better bootcamps out there - I've had a few friends have better experiences. But we all used other free/cheap resources to learn in more detail.
    • If you really want a course, some of the courses folks have mentioned here (Udemy, etc) that are self-paced are likely far better to learn initial information just for the fact that you can go back and review the information in a lot of detail/re-watch videos, etc.
• There are differences between the PMI Study Hall practice exams and the actual exam. You're probably think, OBVIOUSLY there are differences! Here are the ones I observed:
  • The actual exam questions were not as wordy/long as the practice exam questions. They often had very little information in them and yet you had to make a decision as if you knew all of the context. But also dont assume anything!
  • Many of the questions had answer choices where 2 were extremely similar to each other and seemed correct
  • I only had 2 matching questions and no math/calculations
  • I felt like I failed the very first section. These questions were HARD right out of the gate. I dont think this section had any easy or moderate questions in it. I literally thought I had failed the whole exam because of this and was planning on when to retake it. Note that while this was my first section, it may not be in that order for other people. All the people saying, "there were no expert questions on my exam" - yeah, not mine! And I did relatively well with expert questions on the practice exam. I am aware that there are experimental questions on the exam which dont count in your score. Maybe these were it, I am not sure. But damn, this section was hard.
• Actual Exam Week/Day Prep
  • If you have been intensely studying for a bit, you need a break before your exam. This is even more true if you work full-time, have a family, etc. Your brain can literally only have so much energy and if you are exhausted going into the exam, you will not be functioning at your best.
    • The week of your exam, only do light review. This means, maybe one practice exam but like the beginning of the week. Or no practice exam. Review the concepts you miss a lot, review terminology. That's it.
    • Eat well for you. Dont push yourself with workouts unless thats your norm. Get good sleep in the days leading up to the exam. Drink a good amount of water not just the day of/day before the exam.
  • Schedule your exam at a time where you know you tend to feel more energized, and more relaxed, if at all possible. For me, even if I am more awake in the morning, I knew having an exam first thing would give me a lot of anxiety the night before and I probably wouldn't sleep then I'd do bad on the exam. I scheduled my exam at 1:15pm on a Saturday. I slept in a little, had some coffee and a leisurely breakfast, reviewed some things, then I was ready.
  • Talk nicely to yourself - with how much all of this can cost, and whatever other pressures you may have, there can be a lot of "I have to pass, like HAVE to pass!" pressure. Of course we all want to pass the first time and be done with it, but thats not to worry about right now. Talk nicely to yourself - make those encouraging sticky notes and put them around your house, or meditate, etc. but make sure to remind yourself how hard you have worked, and how capable you are. Your only focus is to do your best and thats all you can worry about right now.
  • If you are someone who reads out loud as you are reading questions, you need to practice not doing this. Its probably best to practice this before the week of your exam, but if you dont have that time you need to practice the week of your exam for sure.
  • Right before the exam/as the exam starts
    • The program will give you an intro to how it works. Like where is the timer, where are the buttons, how to highlight, etc. Do it. Do all of the silly things you probably already know how to use. As you are doing it, take deep breaths and exhale slowly at least 3 times. If your heart rate is going up, just pause and do some circle breathing (breath in deeply, hold 4 or more counts, breathe out SLOWLY like for 8-10 counts, then breathe in again, do it again). You do not have to rush into this exam. You have plenty of time.
    • Use the whiteboard tool to write stuff down that is just ruminating in your head. It should stay there through the exam. Get it out of your head because the more you try to hold it all in, the more stress that creates. Write triggers for yourself or draw your beautiful drawings you were practicing with. Again, this helps your memory noggin do its thing and can get out some of that anxiety you are feeling.
  • During the exam
    • Dont let hard questions get you down. This is challenging, even for me who generally does well with test taking. Know that not all questions actually count toward your score. If you have a hard question, do your best, mark for review, and move on. Dont let it cloud your confidence. I literally thought I failed the whole exam because of the first section it was so hard. But I ended up passing 3AT!
    • Take the breaks. Dont try to be a hero. Breaks can be a good reset for your brain! Take them, and take the whole time if you need. Drink water. Have a snackie. Do some breathing and stretches.
    • Watch the time. This is important so you aren't rushing at the end, and also why you dont want to waste a lot of time on a few hard questions. Regarding time, I purposefully went fast when I was practicing to make sure I could still answer correctly under duress (and also I didn't have a lot of time for 4 hour exams while practicing). Most of my practice exams I finished in 1.5 hours and I scored in the 70-80% with expert questions. In the actual exam, I took about 3.25 hours.

I hope this helps someone out there. Sorry it was long but glad you made it to the end!

Hello all! I have an exciting opportunity for you! Looking for a roleplay with a tighter knit cast that implements murder mystery into every chapter? Well look no further! D&R was originally a Danganronpa-inspired D&D server, but I believe we have come a long way from that. We've since integrated a 2nd edition manual that distances itself from D&D standards. After playing many campaigns we've explored the many opportunities of using D&R stories in various different time periods. Our first campaign began way back in 2018, and since then we've explored Feudal Japan, the 50's of America, and many iterations of the traditional school killing game. Sure, this sounds great...but does it actually work? Yes! It has! Most of the time....(I did kill an entire cast in 3 sessions one time teehee). If you wanna see how it works for yourself, we have an entire discord log saved of one of our campaigns, my most popular: D&R - Road to Nowhere! So if you're a fan of D&D, Danganronpa, or neither and just want a good roleplay, I suggest you check us out! I'm gearing off our revival with a new Mideval-inspired campaign: D&R - The Power and the Glory. We already have half of the applicants necessary to start, one of the next few could be you! Come see the server for yourself!

Im heart broken playing diablo 4. My long list of confusing questions I have and seeing the game in this state... I needed to vent this someplace. So bare with me and maybe some of you can relate.
First the new item system they over hauled is mostly just the same system with a different setup. Same spells now organized with a search function. Same limitations on how you can use em. You removed a few options and allowed us to add THE SAME options just in a different way also having the same limitations.. This of course is more fun?
Second the Tempering system is not only confusing both in name and purpose. Just an example: I find an AWESOME ITEM! i go to temper it... i get the same attribute i didnt want 3 times in a row.. it is now bricked.. This is not tempering.. its gambling. How does this make it ANYMORE fun?
Would the player not enjoy it more if they could just PICK and be proud of their decision? First why is it setup as a gambling mechanic? I've bricked many items in the opens of getting 1 out of 5 options presented to me. So why not call it Iron Roulette?
I know since the options are nothing new.. why couldn't you just add in an ability to add attributes like Intelligence? Is having such few options of use on even fewer pieces fun? Am I the only one that sees this system as... If we give you abilities you need to make items when we want you to farm them... Is this more fun?
Why does the rifting system use its own upgrade money? Why do i have to race and kill things to earn money to be able to fight duriel alone? Why cant i find these objects in the world? Why do I have to do this one thing every time to earn money to do the thing I want to do? its an open world? Cant i find it else where? Is this more fun?
This may sound rude but there's no way to phrase it other wise. I watched the camp fires and I understood then why Diablo is how it is.. I saw 4 men Id say 40 and up closer to the end of their careers then starting them. What I didnt see is creativity. Passion for new ideas or youth enough to understand why games are fun. Clearly they are very well educated with a rich history of experience so why is it I play diablo 4 and left so puzzled to decisions this game has made in its creation? I am 40 years old myself and Ill admit as much as games are my life they are not now my only life. Hence why directors, artists of all sorts can pass their prime in life at what they once did best. I of course speak from experience so I see myself in those same men during that camp fire. I did learn in my years that a pay check can be blinding when you arnt focused on the road.. The titanic had a full crew of the most talented people and yet hit an ice burg and sunk. So when is too old too old?
How does one make this season about the Iron wolves and yet you cant have a partner follow you around like you did the construct.. It was in diablo 2? Is diablo 2 less fun because of this? Is not giving us options we once had more fun?
That brings me to Diablo 2... Why did a game made so long ago.. Have more items, more combinations of items, a system you could craft what you wanted and simply find during regular game play. Is having multiple systems making it far more complex more fun? Is a map filled with talking cows more memorable then anything in this game? Is this more fun and I didn't realize?
Why do i have to Summon every boss in this game? IS COLLECTING many many parts fun over and over again? Is.... is this fun?!
It brings me to Identity. Diablo 2 and 3 had an identity. They knew what they where when they came out. This game tried to... well I dont know what this game tries to be now let alone then. These seasons seem to be like adding random things into a cooking soup in hopes it will taste like chicken noodle.
I finished almost everything in this season... Well as much as i could anyhow. I got bored to the core of my soul trying to go down the check list of things i needed to do in order to get iron wolves to give me a gift from the season pass check list. For me the killing blow was when 6 of us in a pvp section had to blood mark ourselfs and fight one boss who appeared every 20 minutes. We had to kill him 5 times. NOT ONCE.. 5 times each each. So for an objective I dont even want to but must... Is this fun? Waiting around trying to be the first one? I got to 3 out of 5.. and said... nope. its yours guys enjoy fighting over scraps. My time is better suited else where.
It is very common for modern games to be made today using what I call this making a game in Excel spread sheet. Its when one day a producer asked me if x task was done and I said no because of this and that was blocking it. They looked at me confused and said. Its written down here its to be done now? what do i do? This game is that.. Ideas on an excel sheet not connecting to a single purpose but there. Of course what no one put on that excel sheet was to ensure the game was fun.
I've loved diablo since i was a kid. It was one of my driving factors that got me into the industry. Diablo 1's town music when i hear it played live still brings a tear to my eye because of the joy this game / title has given me over the years. Maybe its me? I written many questions here Im very curious to the answers to. maybe Im not alone?
Diablo was never only about only the loot so the title " Loot reborn " was never the issue. It should have been called Vision reborn or Vision achieved and the loot would be part of this.
I never posted on reddit so sorry if i messed anything up.

Hey all,
My wife (24f) and I (24m) have been married for about a year and a half. Pretty much since we got married, we’ve been working on creating a joint bank account/finance system. We originally agreed that having joint accounts would be easier and better for us both/our relationship in the long run. We’ve generally been on the same page about our financial goals, although I tend to save while she tends to spend a bit more.
I’ve been working full time with a decent salary (68K) for the past 1.5 years, while she has been in school (4 month), working (4 months), unemployed (4 months), and now working again for the past 3 months. We haven’t saved too much, but have paid off some (5k of 20k) of her student debt over the past year. We haven’t been in an amazing financial spot, and a few times have had to use our emergency fund and CC float to get us through to my next pay check. In general, we go on dates once a week, have room in our budget for coffees, flowers, occasional eating out, etc., but nothing crazy.
Recently, she has voiced to me that she wants to buy more things (clothes, makeup, etc) but that she fears I won’t be happy if she does. I’ve responded to her by saying I hear her and let’s figure something out. One suggestion I had was to have separate spending accounts for us each. However, she doesn’t like that idea. But she has also continued to voice to me how she wants freedom to buy more things.
I’m getting frustrated because I’ve worked hard to provide for us, spent time making our budget work, suggested ways to accommodate, haven’t bought myself much (my one pair of shoes has holes), and now I don’t know what to do.
Should we set up separate spending accounts? Should we just increase our “discretionary” spending somehow? What do you guys do and what other creative solutions could I come up with?
Any suggestions are much appreciated!

Hello all!
I am putting together my Partner Visa (820) application, and I have a few questions about certain aspects. For reference, I am a 26-year-old female from the US, and my Australian partner is also 26.
Some background:

• We met/started dating in September 2022, while I was earning my Masters in Europe.
• I came out to Australia for 3 weeks in March 2023, which is when the relationship became committed and exclusive for the purposes of this visa application - We have photos, flight itineraries, hotel bookings, photos with his family etc. from this trip.
• I returned to the US afterward, and we have PLENTY of records of communication while during long-distance.
• My partner visited the US in June 2023, spent time with my family, and the two of us travelled within the US and took an international trip to Mexico together (we have various records of all of this).
• I moved to AUS on a Working Holiday Visa in September 2023, and my partner and I briefly lived with his parents until our own lease began in November 2023.
• Since living together, we have tons of photos together, photos with his family during holidays, joint wedding invitations, joint bank account, shared utilities & household expenses, joint car insurance, travel bookings, a visit from my parents (photos with both of our families together), etc.

My questions:

1. While we only moved in together in November 2023, we have heaps of evidence of our relationship and commitment to one another while doing long distance & travelling prior to this. Is this sufficient to prove that we have been in a de-facto relationship for 12 months, or is it crucial to get a relationship registration? I have read conflicting information everywhere about the "12-month cohabitation" requirement.
2. In regard to the health requirement, I understand that you receive a HAP ID and a list of requirements once the application is submitted, meaning that you couldn't schedule the appointment beforehand even if you wanted to. However, some people have said that they are immediately asked to make an appointment and are given 30 days to submit the documents?
3. Can anyone from the US advise on how they completed the US police check? It is so annoying that we need to send fingerprints by mail, I am not sure whether doing this myself (and risking the prints being rejected) or paying for it at a local police station (which can be booked out months in advance) is the best bet.
4. For those who have had this granted and are US citizens, what is the processing time as of late? It seems like there is a huge variation, anything from 3 months to 2 years, and I am curious if the applicant's home country has a significant impact on this or if other factors are more important.

Thank you in advance to anyone who is willing to take the time to respond to any of this, I appreciate you so much!

I went on a interview 1 week ago, I signed the contract and he printed all my documents so I was pretty much hired. He said he would call me the following week, 5 days passed I didn’t receive an update then I decided to text. He said my background check is still running. How long did it take for you guys to start And should I be worried I’m not gonna get hired?