Favor point glitches
Photo Critique
2009.05.16 17:36 wrboyce Photo Critique
This is a community of passionate photographers to work together to improve one another's work. Our goal might be described as making this a place geared toward helping aspiring and even professional photographers with honest feedback. We would like the information given here to be a tool to help those that are serious about their photography to improve.
2012.11.08 23:21 Dickfore Physics gone wild!
Gifs and videos of game physics and glitches
2020.01.29 16:05 RustyInternet RockstarGamesMoment
That moment when something happens in GTA5, GTA Online or Red Dead Redemption 2 that doesn't count as a Rockstar logic, but it's relatively close (yeah, if they shut you out there, you can probably post it here). These usually pertain to heist fails, in-game glitches, or memes just making fun of rockstar's games. (Yes there are more occurrences than just those but you get my point).
2024.05.20 05:01 RcvryJourney_22 Day 13
I would say that overall, today was pretty tough.
I saw in that movie called trainspotting a little excerpt about how when recovering from an addiction something that is unspoken is that feeling of depression. Like nothing really excites you, you don't really look forward to much, nothing.
I find this to really ring true, especially today for some reason. But for me its mainly the OCD stuff. day after day im living with a sense of fear, without any possibility for the "answer" that my brain is seeking. So its this constant sense of uncertainty without really any relief. Back when I would "use" so to speak, in my waking existence of this reality there was always a great escape. I would just plunge into indulgence and dopamine would flood my brain and for those hours I felt as if I didn't really exist, like I was someplace else.
So it makes sense as to why I'd feel depressed. My "answer" to the ghost of fear that follows me around is taken away. And with the days passing on and the novelty of recovery gone, you're simply faced with the uncertainty of life.
While this may seem sad, I feel that in tandem with what I said now is a good time to take a deep dive into the depth of my addiction at its worse, and why I would feel as If something essential to me is missing. After all, its what my brain was taught.
To start off, when I see accounts of other pornography type addictions, most of the time, these are trivial to me. It's almost notable how far my addiction went, until it isn't. because the people on the communities I would use in would be just as frequent as me, with their hours just as long. Showing that this is a silent epidemic that is exclusively a consequence of the 21st century. For now its clinically called "cybersex addiction". But in my opinion their needs to be a term created that sounds more medicinal. Cybersex sounds a little corny and a tad sci-fi, and with my recount and the habits of others in the community, I'm sure in 20 years or so it will be observed as something a bit more serious and given a name to fit it. But for now with its current term its a tad difficult to take it seriously. If I was to tell someone I suffered for years from a cybersex addiction they'd probably find it a bit humorous. But I digress.
I would say that it started when I was about 15 years old, give or take. I had always liked porn. Loved porn even. I remember when I discovered it at 12 years old, and how good it made me feel. I watched it close to every night and would masturbate. But the feelings that I specifically liked were the videos that displayed power, and control. Absolutely nothing romantic. Stealing someone's girlfriend, making someone's spouse pleasure you for a favor, making a stepsibling "do as their told". Those kinda things. Specifically cheating. There was something so arousing to me about making someone elses significant other have sex with you. The power trip felt to primal and dirty. This was at 12-13 years old.
However, despite my habit, I feel as if I was still normal. I subconsciously suspended a sense of disbelief. The prospect of just having a girlfriend and having sex still very much excited me. My member still worked perfectly fine. And when I would watch porn I would just rub one out and be done with it. 15 minutes tops, typically more around 5. And then id move on with my day.
I remember when I first discovered a sex chat room. I believe I was 14 years old. At that time i had it on a family computer, so I couldn't take it very far. But i remember how excited I felt, that jumping in my chest when matched up with someone I would talk about sex with. But i wouldnt be able to touch myself, as I was in the living room.
It was at the back end of that year when I'd get on the site again. At this point I had purchased a smart phone and could use it in privacy. I will never forget that night in which I was hooked. I was on the couch, as I used to sleep there in a living room. This was different from the different aforementioned living room, as I had a lot of places growing up. I never had much of a home, and it was pretty troubled. But thats a topic for another day.
I matched up with someone on that same site. They were, or most likely roleplaying, as someone's wife. Sneaking around. I remember when I discovered that in the conversation my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest. I remember moving the conversation towards soemething sexual, and "she" naturally played her part and went along. I remember getting demanding, giving orders. "she" acted reluctant but "caved". I remember getting a euphoric sexual high. 14 years old, I was hooked.
It ebbed and flowed over the years, and came and went. But when it got really bad is after the onset of my adulthood OCD, at around 17
(People with OCD have it fully set in at some point during early adulthood, with episodes throughout childhood)
When my mental illness struggles started I felt as though my life was a waking nightmare. I just did not understand nonresponse at the time, and it felt as though my reality caved and inverted. I could not have a moment without rumination and did not understand there was nothing to solve. I just didn't understand. so I was merely a zombie, like some kind of ghoul. I was pretending to be alive. Floating moment to moment, phoning it in. My family didnt understand why I was so distant. Why i had no aspirations or anything. It made my father so angry he would beat me. The beating and what not got so bad that at 18 I split home. I was in and out after that.
Some time passed and I bummed around but I got to a point where I lived by myself and had roommates.
Throughout this era there was one constant. The internet pornography use. The "cybersex". at the end of every fruitless day I would get on, and it would be hours. I had multiple accounts, on multiple forums. Many fetish based. I would get desperate sometimes and would get spammy, clawing for a good partner that matched my interests, and would often get banned. So many times I would have accounts i would switch back in forth from to avoid getting banned. I was a full blown addict.
Snap forwards a couple years, where my addiction and mental illness had fully taken over. I had no job, I would never be able to hold one down. I was hemorrhaging money, my savings from my teenage hood. I would Doordash and do gig work on occasion but would give up if my OCD got too loud. Or if I had plans but started using f*ck those plans.
I would wake up at 11 or so. maybe noon, maybe 1. id get up and use the restroom, throw my clothes on the floor. My room was completely rotted away. I would go downstairs and chat with my roommates. maybe go grab lunch or something. then I'd get home and start using. typically, by 3 o clock. It would be hours, masturbating, binge watching porn, being on the forums. Finding partners that matched me and saying things that were unspeakibly nasty to get a good rush. Hours and hours would pass by and I would prevent ejaculation. i did not want the escape to end, but eventually it would. I would excrete all over myself and by matress with no bedding (I would not put my sheets on my bed, as i just simply did not care). I would not clean up much, would mostly just let it dry. After that I would watch some youtube. I would not get out of my bed, or shower, or anything like that. These things did not not concern me. At around 10 or so I would start up again. Using and using and using and using. typically till about 4 in the morning. Then id c*m, and Id go downstairs to stuff my face with whatever I had in the fridge. Then Id go back into my room, and with the rush of my vice gone and the fear from OCD quelled by it, Id feel unspeakably sad. Unspeakably empty. then id go to sleep.
Sometimes it was from the moment I woke up. I'd wake up, stare at my ceiling, my anxiety would settle in, and I'd start using. I'd use till 2 and then take a nap. Then id use till 4. Then I'd use till 8. Then id use till 2 am.
I remember my member would be red and blistered, sensitive to the touch, and unable to get an erection. But id keep using. Id go again and again, rubbing it while it was limp. My room stunk like hell and I was gaining weight. My hair was greasy and i was running out of money. I was literally just fading away.
Heres my great ability though. My friends just thought I was a tad unhygienic and lazy. They didn't suspect a thing. Because no matter what, I'm always a showman. I can always say something to crack up the group or become an inside joke. I was literally a dead man walking yet people considered me funny and capable. But the curtain got pulled on that eventually.
Well, more on that some other day. This recount served its purpose for me in putting in my perspective on what I am not anymore. And no matter how hard it gets, making sure I never go back again.
Fucking hell man. Why's this shit gotta be so hard.
See yall tomorrow.
submitted by RcvryJourney_22 to u/RcvryJourney_22 [link] [comments]
I saw in that movie called trainspotting a little excerpt about how when recovering from an addiction something that is unspoken is that feeling of depression. Like nothing really excites you, you don't really look forward to much, nothing.
I find this to really ring true, especially today for some reason. But for me its mainly the OCD stuff. day after day im living with a sense of fear, without any possibility for the "answer" that my brain is seeking. So its this constant sense of uncertainty without really any relief. Back when I would "use" so to speak, in my waking existence of this reality there was always a great escape. I would just plunge into indulgence and dopamine would flood my brain and for those hours I felt as if I didn't really exist, like I was someplace else.
So it makes sense as to why I'd feel depressed. My "answer" to the ghost of fear that follows me around is taken away. And with the days passing on and the novelty of recovery gone, you're simply faced with the uncertainty of life.
While this may seem sad, I feel that in tandem with what I said now is a good time to take a deep dive into the depth of my addiction at its worse, and why I would feel as If something essential to me is missing. After all, its what my brain was taught.
To start off, when I see accounts of other pornography type addictions, most of the time, these are trivial to me. It's almost notable how far my addiction went, until it isn't. because the people on the communities I would use in would be just as frequent as me, with their hours just as long. Showing that this is a silent epidemic that is exclusively a consequence of the 21st century. For now its clinically called "cybersex addiction". But in my opinion their needs to be a term created that sounds more medicinal. Cybersex sounds a little corny and a tad sci-fi, and with my recount and the habits of others in the community, I'm sure in 20 years or so it will be observed as something a bit more serious and given a name to fit it. But for now with its current term its a tad difficult to take it seriously. If I was to tell someone I suffered for years from a cybersex addiction they'd probably find it a bit humorous. But I digress.
I would say that it started when I was about 15 years old, give or take. I had always liked porn. Loved porn even. I remember when I discovered it at 12 years old, and how good it made me feel. I watched it close to every night and would masturbate. But the feelings that I specifically liked were the videos that displayed power, and control. Absolutely nothing romantic. Stealing someone's girlfriend, making someone's spouse pleasure you for a favor, making a stepsibling "do as their told". Those kinda things. Specifically cheating. There was something so arousing to me about making someone elses significant other have sex with you. The power trip felt to primal and dirty. This was at 12-13 years old.
However, despite my habit, I feel as if I was still normal. I subconsciously suspended a sense of disbelief. The prospect of just having a girlfriend and having sex still very much excited me. My member still worked perfectly fine. And when I would watch porn I would just rub one out and be done with it. 15 minutes tops, typically more around 5. And then id move on with my day.
I remember when I first discovered a sex chat room. I believe I was 14 years old. At that time i had it on a family computer, so I couldn't take it very far. But i remember how excited I felt, that jumping in my chest when matched up with someone I would talk about sex with. But i wouldnt be able to touch myself, as I was in the living room.
It was at the back end of that year when I'd get on the site again. At this point I had purchased a smart phone and could use it in privacy. I will never forget that night in which I was hooked. I was on the couch, as I used to sleep there in a living room. This was different from the different aforementioned living room, as I had a lot of places growing up. I never had much of a home, and it was pretty troubled. But thats a topic for another day.
I matched up with someone on that same site. They were, or most likely roleplaying, as someone's wife. Sneaking around. I remember when I discovered that in the conversation my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest. I remember moving the conversation towards soemething sexual, and "she" naturally played her part and went along. I remember getting demanding, giving orders. "she" acted reluctant but "caved". I remember getting a euphoric sexual high. 14 years old, I was hooked.
It ebbed and flowed over the years, and came and went. But when it got really bad is after the onset of my adulthood OCD, at around 17
(People with OCD have it fully set in at some point during early adulthood, with episodes throughout childhood)
When my mental illness struggles started I felt as though my life was a waking nightmare. I just did not understand nonresponse at the time, and it felt as though my reality caved and inverted. I could not have a moment without rumination and did not understand there was nothing to solve. I just didn't understand. so I was merely a zombie, like some kind of ghoul. I was pretending to be alive. Floating moment to moment, phoning it in. My family didnt understand why I was so distant. Why i had no aspirations or anything. It made my father so angry he would beat me. The beating and what not got so bad that at 18 I split home. I was in and out after that.
Some time passed and I bummed around but I got to a point where I lived by myself and had roommates.
Throughout this era there was one constant. The internet pornography use. The "cybersex". at the end of every fruitless day I would get on, and it would be hours. I had multiple accounts, on multiple forums. Many fetish based. I would get desperate sometimes and would get spammy, clawing for a good partner that matched my interests, and would often get banned. So many times I would have accounts i would switch back in forth from to avoid getting banned. I was a full blown addict.
Snap forwards a couple years, where my addiction and mental illness had fully taken over. I had no job, I would never be able to hold one down. I was hemorrhaging money, my savings from my teenage hood. I would Doordash and do gig work on occasion but would give up if my OCD got too loud. Or if I had plans but started using f*ck those plans.
I would wake up at 11 or so. maybe noon, maybe 1. id get up and use the restroom, throw my clothes on the floor. My room was completely rotted away. I would go downstairs and chat with my roommates. maybe go grab lunch or something. then I'd get home and start using. typically, by 3 o clock. It would be hours, masturbating, binge watching porn, being on the forums. Finding partners that matched me and saying things that were unspeakibly nasty to get a good rush. Hours and hours would pass by and I would prevent ejaculation. i did not want the escape to end, but eventually it would. I would excrete all over myself and by matress with no bedding (I would not put my sheets on my bed, as i just simply did not care). I would not clean up much, would mostly just let it dry. After that I would watch some youtube. I would not get out of my bed, or shower, or anything like that. These things did not not concern me. At around 10 or so I would start up again. Using and using and using and using. typically till about 4 in the morning. Then id c*m, and Id go downstairs to stuff my face with whatever I had in the fridge. Then Id go back into my room, and with the rush of my vice gone and the fear from OCD quelled by it, Id feel unspeakably sad. Unspeakably empty. then id go to sleep.
Sometimes it was from the moment I woke up. I'd wake up, stare at my ceiling, my anxiety would settle in, and I'd start using. I'd use till 2 and then take a nap. Then id use till 4. Then I'd use till 8. Then id use till 2 am.
I remember my member would be red and blistered, sensitive to the touch, and unable to get an erection. But id keep using. Id go again and again, rubbing it while it was limp. My room stunk like hell and I was gaining weight. My hair was greasy and i was running out of money. I was literally just fading away.
Heres my great ability though. My friends just thought I was a tad unhygienic and lazy. They didn't suspect a thing. Because no matter what, I'm always a showman. I can always say something to crack up the group or become an inside joke. I was literally a dead man walking yet people considered me funny and capable. But the curtain got pulled on that eventually.
Well, more on that some other day. This recount served its purpose for me in putting in my perspective on what I am not anymore. And no matter how hard it gets, making sure I never go back again.
Fucking hell man. Why's this shit gotta be so hard.
See yall tomorrow.
2024.05.20 04:53 Slimdaddylong I lost my job due to my wife's health.
I'm not the kind to ask for help but I actually need it in the worst way possible. My wife is sick with kidney n n heart failure and has doctor's appointment every weekday that she needs to be driven to (usually an hour away in Charleston or Orangeburg.) This is all a sudden thing and it's changed our lives over night literally. I've been in search of a new job and it's not happening as fast as I need it. Better hundreds in gas back n forth to doctors appointments and maintaining our household has been difficult and we have been missing meals most days which isn't good for my sick wife. I'm willing to work doing almost anything at this point (I'm a machine operator also a jack of all trades) if I could get a few dollars I would be grateful. I'm willing to trade favors, work around your home or job site. I've even been trading sexual favors with older women to make ends meet (I'm not proud of this) please help me (if possible ill return the help or favor) i feel less then a man and im doing everything in my power to survive until im gainfully employed
submitted by Slimdaddylong to NeedMoneyDesperatley [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:37 Coinswap_Space Deciphering Altcoin Rallies: Unveiling the Cryptocurrency Rollercoaster
 | Deciphering Altcoin Rallies: Unveiling the Cryptocurrency Rollercoaster submitted by Coinswap_Space to u/Coinswap_Space [link] [comments] In today's age of technology, The term "altcoin rally" frequently captures the attention of investors and enthusiasts alike. But what exactly is an altcoin rally? Let’s break it down in a way that's easy to understand. 🌐💡 What are Altcoins? 🪙 To start, "altcoin" is short for "alternative coin," referring to any cryptocurrency other than Bitcoin. While Bitcoin remains the most well-known and valuable cryptocurrency, thousands of other digital currencies have been created since its inception. Examples of altcoins include Ethereum (ETH), Litecoin (LTC), and Ripple (XRP). Each of these coins operates on its blockchain with unique features and purposes. What is an Altcoin Rally? 🚀📈 An altcoin rally occurs when the prices of multiple altcoins increase significantly over a short period. Various factors, including market speculation, technological advancements, positive news, or broader cryptocurrency adoption, usually drive this surge. Why Do Altcoin Rallies Happen? 🤔 Several factors can trigger an altcoin rally:
For investors, participating in an altcoin rally can be both exciting and risky. Here are a few tips to navigate these volatile periods:
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2024.05.20 04:28 Inevitable_Lime_6104 Please Help. Need Information about BK Family Court
Note: I would be happy to send the documents of both the petition story and the allegations if anyone wants to DM.
Situation: Order of Protection (This was filed in brooklyn FAMILY court in Kings County - it's clearly stated that nothing criminal or civil is being filed).
I was in a causal relationship with a girl for about 10 months. There was a lot of emotions and drama between us and often we didn't get along well but nothing more serious than that happened. I always felt sad and mistreated and she would often feel the same and this would lead to us getting mad at and sending angry texts to each other.
Anyway, at one point she and I were going through a rough week and then we decided I should go to her place and, although there were some tense moments, we seemed to get along fine and the next morning she said she was looking forward to hanging out again. The next day I found out she blocked and ghosted me on all platforms.
She has a friend who frequently throws public DJ events at bars. The day after being ghosted I was drinking at my watering hole I've been going to for years as a regular, this was after I went to a concert. I was still confused and hurt. I saw on instagram that her friend was literally throwing a public event next door. I went next door and saw her friend but not her. I asked her friend if she was there and her friend laughed in my face before telling me she wasn't there. I didn't cause a scene I just left and assumed that was the end of us.
After a few weeks I'm shocked to receive a petition for a restraining order that is filled with at least 19 allegations that are all completely false and even absurd but also quite serious. Everything from multiple forms of abuse to grand larceny in the 3rd/4th degree, identity theft, criminal mischief, strangulation and more. The story she has wrote was also filled with completely false things or things that are deeply distorted in the retelling (Saying i regularly verbally abused her etc). Only some of the many many allegations are even addressed at all in the petition and she was required to give specific dates (I have text evidence to prove these specific dates and times couldn't happen happen the way she described.). An example is how there was a point where she told me I could come to her birthday party (A large public event) and then once I got there she decided to ignore all my communication and not let me in. The bouncer said the place was at capacity (true) but she said in her petition that the bouncer said I was too intoxicated and I became belligerent (not true). Another example is how there was a seperate time when she posted on her IG story that she was at a certain bar when promoting a certain DJ. At that time we were in a rocky point but I thought she would still want to see me and patch things up so, I went to where she was to talk. She didn't appreciate that so after about 20 minutes of civilized talking, we parted ways. She is trying to characterize that incident as an example of my constant stalking (no proof that this is my behavior).
I found that that what she most likely did was go to the court in person and get some type of social worker to draft up the petition for her. In these instances they often encourage you to write everything you can possibly think of, big or small, just to see what may stick. I'm understand now that these judges are probably more likely to grant an order than deny one because there isn't much consequence for them.
Questions:
1) Needless to say I'm really hurt that so many serious lies are even being said about me and would like to lawyer up and fight this. At first I assumed that it would be clear how absurd and emotional this person is being and that I pose no threat (I have no intention of ever communication with this person again). However, I'm realizing that doing this battle may be many thousands of dollars and this may even take a year to conclude with how many cases are in BK. Is it worth it? I need to know that this is most likely going to go in my favor if I fight.
2) Some attorneys are saying for significantly less that they can create a situation where accept an order of protection but admit guilt to none of the allegations. If this is the route I take, is it possible for anyone to see the lies that she wrote in any way down the road? I don't even want some of these ideas to ever be tied to my name. I'm not capable of these things.
3) If I do accept an order of protection I know I can't communicate with her or go to her home or work obviously but how worried do I have to be about innocently and accidentally running into her on a street or at a venue? If she feels vindictive how easily can she weaponize a moment like this against me?
4) Any other advice is deeply appreciated as well as any more info about how this process will/may go.
Thank you so much to anyone (qualified) who responds. I need to make a decision before the initial hearing which is coming in weeks.
submitted by Inevitable_Lime_6104 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Note: I would be happy to send the documents of both the petition story and the allegations if anyone wants to DM.
Situation: Order of Protection (This was filed in brooklyn FAMILY court in Kings County - it's clearly stated that nothing criminal or civil is being filed).
I was in a causal relationship with a girl for about 10 months. There was a lot of emotions and drama between us and often we didn't get along well but nothing more serious than that happened. I always felt sad and mistreated and she would often feel the same and this would lead to us getting mad at and sending angry texts to each other.
Anyway, at one point she and I were going through a rough week and then we decided I should go to her place and, although there were some tense moments, we seemed to get along fine and the next morning she said she was looking forward to hanging out again. The next day I found out she blocked and ghosted me on all platforms.
She has a friend who frequently throws public DJ events at bars. The day after being ghosted I was drinking at my watering hole I've been going to for years as a regular, this was after I went to a concert. I was still confused and hurt. I saw on instagram that her friend was literally throwing a public event next door. I went next door and saw her friend but not her. I asked her friend if she was there and her friend laughed in my face before telling me she wasn't there. I didn't cause a scene I just left and assumed that was the end of us.
After a few weeks I'm shocked to receive a petition for a restraining order that is filled with at least 19 allegations that are all completely false and even absurd but also quite serious. Everything from multiple forms of abuse to grand larceny in the 3rd/4th degree, identity theft, criminal mischief, strangulation and more. The story she has wrote was also filled with completely false things or things that are deeply distorted in the retelling (Saying i regularly verbally abused her etc). Only some of the many many allegations are even addressed at all in the petition and she was required to give specific dates (I have text evidence to prove these specific dates and times couldn't happen happen the way she described.). An example is how there was a point where she told me I could come to her birthday party (A large public event) and then once I got there she decided to ignore all my communication and not let me in. The bouncer said the place was at capacity (true) but she said in her petition that the bouncer said I was too intoxicated and I became belligerent (not true). Another example is how there was a seperate time when she posted on her IG story that she was at a certain bar when promoting a certain DJ. At that time we were in a rocky point but I thought she would still want to see me and patch things up so, I went to where she was to talk. She didn't appreciate that so after about 20 minutes of civilized talking, we parted ways. She is trying to characterize that incident as an example of my constant stalking (no proof that this is my behavior).
I found that that what she most likely did was go to the court in person and get some type of social worker to draft up the petition for her. In these instances they often encourage you to write everything you can possibly think of, big or small, just to see what may stick. I'm understand now that these judges are probably more likely to grant an order than deny one because there isn't much consequence for them.
Questions:
1) Needless to say I'm really hurt that so many serious lies are even being said about me and would like to lawyer up and fight this. At first I assumed that it would be clear how absurd and emotional this person is being and that I pose no threat (I have no intention of ever communication with this person again). However, I'm realizing that doing this battle may be many thousands of dollars and this may even take a year to conclude with how many cases are in BK. Is it worth it? I need to know that this is most likely going to go in my favor if I fight.
2) Some attorneys are saying for significantly less that they can create a situation where accept an order of protection but admit guilt to none of the allegations. If this is the route I take, is it possible for anyone to see the lies that she wrote in any way down the road? I don't even want some of these ideas to ever be tied to my name. I'm not capable of these things.
3) If I do accept an order of protection I know I can't communicate with her or go to her home or work obviously but how worried do I have to be about innocently and accidentally running into her on a street or at a venue? If she feels vindictive how easily can she weaponize a moment like this against me?
4) Any other advice is deeply appreciated as well as any more info about how this process will/may go.
Thank you so much to anyone (qualified) who responds. I need to make a decision before the initial hearing which is coming in weeks.
2024.05.20 04:27 kelmeneh How to deal with situation where people malign your image behind your back?
This is my first time here. Situation I am describing is a very known situation at many households. But this is happening to me AGAIN and AGAIN.
So, I have an ailing Father in law, completely paralyzed with tracheostomy tube, feeding tube and a catheter, whom we are caregiving in a Tier 2 City since 5+ years, I work from home . I have suffered a missed miscarriage and had a D&E after that in September 2023 at around 12 weeks marks. SInce then we are trying and not had a success. My sister-in-law lives in same city so she comes to support the care. I am a secondary caregiver as I am the only one who is earning. My husband is on career break as the Staff is not permanent & load of caregiving is huge. My mother in law expired in 2020.
My sister in law since marriage was a person I always had doubts on. I make friends for life once I get to know them, but here even if the dynamic was weird, I gave her lots of benefit of doubt & she proved me wrong always. She and my MIL were best friends. They had never included me the way a daughter in law should have been included. So because of my mothe r in law, the home was always under her control. Whenever I used to come, I was being indirectly commented on our stuff lying here and there(we were not having any room, so obv it was to be taken in and out of bags), SIL used to say in a really really bad tone blabbering and going here and there " why do people bring stuff if they don't know how to place" the etc. in short I was never allowed to even touch or know things in house. It has to be done by my sister in law always. For smallest of things, she was always given preference. Please don't take me wrong, but I am from a home where we are 2 sisters and obv I was being trained to handle all the things so that I never ever become dependent. And here I am in a household, where I am being told, "you won't be able to do this" to everything I wanted to attempt. All what I had to do is cooking, which I didn't know much. Btw I was the only working lady that time.
Anyway I don't want to go to my MIL's drama because that was HORRIBLE and I thank God every day for relaxing me!
This is not the first time SIL has done maligning/ bitching, she has been involved to malign the image. It has never happened anywhere that people don't come to talk to me, because I generally listen to the problems and I am amicable! I have lived in Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, but it is only here that I couldn't foster any relationships with anyone! It always was a thought in me which I didn't know had a solid cause. I caught her tarnishing my image on camera (we kept it for FIL) blabbering things like : "She has eaten crab" (Kekde khati hai) which I haven't, I have had fish 2-3 times in my whole life, these guys are purely vegetarian, which I was as well, but I had just shared it with her as a thing! "She is putting pressure on my brother so that we have a fight, and now he came to beg sorry that I did a mistake"(Ary masi, ese hi koi nai karta, jab tak upar se pressure nai aata , and aaya tha maafi maangne fir, ki mujhe maaf kar do, ye to chahti hai ki humari ladai ho jaye and toot jaye relationship) (which I never ever do, I come from a joint family and such adjustments are inbuilt in my nature)
When my husband and herself caught covid, they were isolated, I was at my mother's place and rushed back to support them and fully supported them for 2 weeks managing my work alongwith. Later on during 3rd wave of covid, I had covid and I didn't even was asked for! I missed my parents a lot! She gave the most vile response in that conversation with her Masis. "She got Covid!, She got covid!, Now she will make sure to come to our father's room" (That had broken me that time) (Ab ho gaya usko!, ho gaya!, Ab to aur ayegi papa ke room me) (with an intention to kill him)(I have been dealing with a tough situation where it affected my marriage the most and I had to voice my needs to them as noone was paying any attention to my needs and I wanted to have a family of my own during that time. It was 2020-21, I was 33)
I was a scared bird, I was so so scared of confrontation previously that she exploited a lot out of me. Their home is in a place where people have never gone out of the city so the thoughts are so weird when they see me doing it! For example : employing a maid! Now Imagine ! Her masis are equally involved. When my mother in law was dead, and the rituals were happening, people flocked and populated our home. MIL had 5 sisters, all of them bombarded in the tiny home! and then one of them started saying, "We didn't even get tea! She gets up at 7!"
I am harmless creature, who has never picked up fights, She is argumentative and of a nature where she has to win always which is through talking. I avoid it. If I talk, by hook or crook she will manipulate so that things are in her favor and last sentence is hers. She even called my parents and said "aap logo ko thoda encourage jitna karte ho aur karna chahiye" without my knowledge , and they were speaking for me! and I was at a different city. That was my tipping point! I came back, ignored her for 3 days finally bursting on her. She argued that "are they nothing for me", I said you are not allowed to call without my knowledge, you have to go through ME!!
Coming to problem:
My sister in law just had a baby who is 6 months now. after my miscarriage! 2-3 days before, she left her phone at our place,and asked to forward a number from her mobile. My husband forwarded it and then sifted through her chats. He got into a chat with their cousin sister where my sister in law described me as
"I stopped you to go and made her (me) to go because she puts evil eye on my kid and my baby has stopped drinking milk, you are of pure heart, but not everyone is like that, we dont know what's going on in other's mind"
"Ary behna! Bura mat maniyo, wo nazar lagati hain HAMESHA, Ab bechari doodh bhi nai peeti dhang se, tera dil to saaf hai, lekin sabka nai hota"
I was aghasted by this chat comment. All I gave was a genuine love for the purest soul who is infront of us!
All I do is my job in the only room at this house. Previously I was so disturbed that I took psychologist's support! Can you believe it! SIL problems to psychologist!! And After she had a baby, she became better I thought so, so I forgave her and interacted, went to her home as well. Then I backtraced and found another incident where I could connect the dots:
I was deliberately asked to prepare tea while at her home, her masi were also there, and her masi said, Let me prepare the tea, and she said I want to have her from only her hands!! (While in kitchen I found it weird but I gave her space and didn't come out), Later in remembered that she was feeding her baby! HOW PATHETIC! I am so so hurt by such things happening around me! One of her masi, couldn't bear children and "her nazar" has been talk of town always, another masi she was seperate from all sisters and minded her own business, she has "money" according to all of them(which is for sure hard earned and they are jealous that she earned, kept up with sasural, she didn't give a f**k to such chalak sisters ) her nazar is considered "killing/deadly"! She has been a very kind person when I met ! So when I heard about them from SIL I couldn't believe she is saying all that about her own masi! and now when I heard something about me all I could think of is 20 years in future people will still not talk to me because I put nazar! I thought of confronting her husband as he is humble , talking to her is exhausting and I feel talking doesn't bring any conclusion. I thought of never going to their home, I don't know how feasible that is, so my action plan is to never handle her baby and comment on her like : "dont put your baby with me, she will get nazar" . Or if her husband asked why are you not coming, then I will reveal. But I don't know I am getting anxious, something has shifted inside me for good.
I know this is a difficult phase of my life and I am trying for pregnancy can't leave this place until his father's death. I had been away from family in past and that made me more depressed and abandoned as my husband is crazy for his father and he left everything for him! So I couldn't even ask him during all these years of my needs. He was faced by his mother's death and an ailing father so naturally he had a reaction. I had survived a very very difficult phase alone, we both had different journeys for past 4 years. God has been very kind that my job was there throughout to support my family!
Any suggestions on how to deal are appreciated.
submitted by kelmeneh to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]
So, I have an ailing Father in law, completely paralyzed with tracheostomy tube, feeding tube and a catheter, whom we are caregiving in a Tier 2 City since 5+ years, I work from home . I have suffered a missed miscarriage and had a D&E after that in September 2023 at around 12 weeks marks. SInce then we are trying and not had a success. My sister-in-law lives in same city so she comes to support the care. I am a secondary caregiver as I am the only one who is earning. My husband is on career break as the Staff is not permanent & load of caregiving is huge. My mother in law expired in 2020.
My sister in law since marriage was a person I always had doubts on. I make friends for life once I get to know them, but here even if the dynamic was weird, I gave her lots of benefit of doubt & she proved me wrong always. She and my MIL were best friends. They had never included me the way a daughter in law should have been included. So because of my mothe r in law, the home was always under her control. Whenever I used to come, I was being indirectly commented on our stuff lying here and there(we were not having any room, so obv it was to be taken in and out of bags), SIL used to say in a really really bad tone blabbering and going here and there " why do people bring stuff if they don't know how to place" the etc. in short I was never allowed to even touch or know things in house. It has to be done by my sister in law always. For smallest of things, she was always given preference. Please don't take me wrong, but I am from a home where we are 2 sisters and obv I was being trained to handle all the things so that I never ever become dependent. And here I am in a household, where I am being told, "you won't be able to do this" to everything I wanted to attempt. All what I had to do is cooking, which I didn't know much. Btw I was the only working lady that time.
Anyway I don't want to go to my MIL's drama because that was HORRIBLE and I thank God every day for relaxing me!
This is not the first time SIL has done maligning/ bitching, she has been involved to malign the image. It has never happened anywhere that people don't come to talk to me, because I generally listen to the problems and I am amicable! I have lived in Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, but it is only here that I couldn't foster any relationships with anyone! It always was a thought in me which I didn't know had a solid cause. I caught her tarnishing my image on camera (we kept it for FIL) blabbering things like : "She has eaten crab" (Kekde khati hai) which I haven't, I have had fish 2-3 times in my whole life, these guys are purely vegetarian, which I was as well, but I had just shared it with her as a thing! "She is putting pressure on my brother so that we have a fight, and now he came to beg sorry that I did a mistake"(Ary masi, ese hi koi nai karta, jab tak upar se pressure nai aata , and aaya tha maafi maangne fir, ki mujhe maaf kar do, ye to chahti hai ki humari ladai ho jaye and toot jaye relationship) (which I never ever do, I come from a joint family and such adjustments are inbuilt in my nature)
When my husband and herself caught covid, they were isolated, I was at my mother's place and rushed back to support them and fully supported them for 2 weeks managing my work alongwith. Later on during 3rd wave of covid, I had covid and I didn't even was asked for! I missed my parents a lot! She gave the most vile response in that conversation with her Masis. "She got Covid!, She got covid!, Now she will make sure to come to our father's room" (That had broken me that time) (Ab ho gaya usko!, ho gaya!, Ab to aur ayegi papa ke room me) (with an intention to kill him)(I have been dealing with a tough situation where it affected my marriage the most and I had to voice my needs to them as noone was paying any attention to my needs and I wanted to have a family of my own during that time. It was 2020-21, I was 33)
I was a scared bird, I was so so scared of confrontation previously that she exploited a lot out of me. Their home is in a place where people have never gone out of the city so the thoughts are so weird when they see me doing it! For example : employing a maid! Now Imagine ! Her masis are equally involved. When my mother in law was dead, and the rituals were happening, people flocked and populated our home. MIL had 5 sisters, all of them bombarded in the tiny home! and then one of them started saying, "We didn't even get tea! She gets up at 7!"
I am harmless creature, who has never picked up fights, She is argumentative and of a nature where she has to win always which is through talking. I avoid it. If I talk, by hook or crook she will manipulate so that things are in her favor and last sentence is hers. She even called my parents and said "aap logo ko thoda encourage jitna karte ho aur karna chahiye" without my knowledge , and they were speaking for me! and I was at a different city. That was my tipping point! I came back, ignored her for 3 days finally bursting on her. She argued that "are they nothing for me", I said you are not allowed to call without my knowledge, you have to go through ME!!
Coming to problem:
My sister in law just had a baby who is 6 months now. after my miscarriage! 2-3 days before, she left her phone at our place,and asked to forward a number from her mobile. My husband forwarded it and then sifted through her chats. He got into a chat with their cousin sister where my sister in law described me as
"I stopped you to go and made her (me) to go because she puts evil eye on my kid and my baby has stopped drinking milk, you are of pure heart, but not everyone is like that, we dont know what's going on in other's mind"
"Ary behna! Bura mat maniyo, wo nazar lagati hain HAMESHA, Ab bechari doodh bhi nai peeti dhang se, tera dil to saaf hai, lekin sabka nai hota"
I was aghasted by this chat comment. All I gave was a genuine love for the purest soul who is infront of us!
All I do is my job in the only room at this house. Previously I was so disturbed that I took psychologist's support! Can you believe it! SIL problems to psychologist!! And After she had a baby, she became better I thought so, so I forgave her and interacted, went to her home as well. Then I backtraced and found another incident where I could connect the dots:
I was deliberately asked to prepare tea while at her home, her masi were also there, and her masi said, Let me prepare the tea, and she said I want to have her from only her hands!! (While in kitchen I found it weird but I gave her space and didn't come out), Later in remembered that she was feeding her baby! HOW PATHETIC! I am so so hurt by such things happening around me! One of her masi, couldn't bear children and "her nazar" has been talk of town always, another masi she was seperate from all sisters and minded her own business, she has "money" according to all of them(which is for sure hard earned and they are jealous that she earned, kept up with sasural, she didn't give a f**k to such chalak sisters ) her nazar is considered "killing/deadly"! She has been a very kind person when I met ! So when I heard about them from SIL I couldn't believe she is saying all that about her own masi! and now when I heard something about me all I could think of is 20 years in future people will still not talk to me because I put nazar! I thought of confronting her husband as he is humble , talking to her is exhausting and I feel talking doesn't bring any conclusion. I thought of never going to their home, I don't know how feasible that is, so my action plan is to never handle her baby and comment on her like : "dont put your baby with me, she will get nazar" . Or if her husband asked why are you not coming, then I will reveal. But I don't know I am getting anxious, something has shifted inside me for good.
I know this is a difficult phase of my life and I am trying for pregnancy can't leave this place until his father's death. I had been away from family in past and that made me more depressed and abandoned as my husband is crazy for his father and he left everything for him! So I couldn't even ask him during all these years of my needs. He was faced by his mother's death and an ailing father so naturally he had a reaction. I had survived a very very difficult phase alone, we both had different journeys for past 4 years. God has been very kind that my job was there throughout to support my family!
Any suggestions on how to deal are appreciated.
2024.05.20 04:27 Rhaynebow I reached my Stopping Point in Winds of Anthos! Here are my final thoughts! (Long read and language warning)
 | I overall had a fine time with this game. I've gotten my kid fully-grown, did the family outing event and grew everything but the giant crops because I don't have the patience to grow those. Every Harvest Fruit has been eaten and most of my tools upgraded. submitted by Rhaynebow to harvestmoon [link] [comments] Forging for stuff was probably my favorite thing to do because it felt great to run around on my horse (or dinosaur), picking up truffles, stopping to pick fruits and nuts off trees and fishing. I felt like a genuine explorer! That said, I didn't like being responsible for all of bitch work in the villages. The word "materials" has been cursed by this game. Most of these towns are surrounded by trees and have mines a few feet away, why can't they just cut down their own trees? And don't get me STARTED on the high quality lumber. You would assume you could obtain that stuff through an upgraded axe, but NNNNNNOPE, you can only occasionally get that stuff by winning contests, otherwise you'll have to buy it from the shop in Herbstburg for like, 2700g A PIECE. Yes, you can ALSO craft it, but you need to grow the rarer flowers as part of their recipe (a recipe you have to unlock the option to buy). And most of the time, any building or storyline quest that needs the high quality lumber needs quite a bit of it. The clothing options are sadly quite limited, as cute as they are. And unlike One World, there's no all-weather clothing, so if I wanted to go to the desert, I'd have to ditch my winter outfit, which sucks because I love the winter clothes. (You can also just go to the desert at night because it becomes a cold weather climate at night). Getting feed is a pain in the ass because only high quality fodder corn gets you the best crop-fodder ratio. It's easier to just cut the obnoxious pasture of weeds in Lectenbury to get you 29 bushels of fodder. A few of the contests in the game felt straight up broken or at least rigged. The Advanced Equestrian Challenge race could easily be lost by your opponents pushing you out of the way as your character gets shoved around so easily. Each race has these stupidly narrow checkpoint fences that you HAVE to run through, but the game is so slippery, I've lost races thanks to Judy pushing me outside of them (She's lucky she was practically my son's wet nurse). The carrots are pointless too because they just make you risk missing the checkpoint even more. Both of the "Rush" contests; the Fish Frenzy and Mining Meet give you too little time to get to the spots where you can actually do the thing you're trying to win the most points at. For the Fish Frenzy, you can only fish from certain spots in Lilikila, so you'll lose time just running to a dock. Most of your time in the Mining Meet will be spent trying to avoid pitfalls, smashing boulders to reach gem nodes and digging for the stairs. The Anthos Expo is a legitimate challenge though, as you have to make sure your crops get as many nutrients as possible. Every 8th day of the month, which is 2 days before the Expo, there's a special moon that shines, giving a boost to your crops. The Tiny Goddess will tell you the theme for the Expo a few days before the 8th, so you'll have to calculate which crops to grow and when so their quality can be boosted by the moon. This is especially important with fast growing crops like turnips as they tend to not take fertilizer well thanks to how fast they grow. Unfortunately, winning the Anthos Expo is based on the star rank of your crops, dishes and animals. I've submitted giant crops and still lost because it only had 1 star. The only way to get 2 star crops is by growing a shit ton of them until you've reached the highest rank for that crop. And even then, a 2 star isn't guaranteed, moonlight and all of that magic crap. I gave up on winning the Advanced Expo, the rewards for the contests tend to be extremely weak if they're not the high quality lumber, typically a single gem or a bag of strawberry seeds. As is the case for Natsume, their marriage candidates look great, but have the personalities of cardboard. What they're introduced doing is basically all that they are and what they'll talk about. Judy only talks about animals, Neil only talks about cooking, Kaimana only talks about fishing tackle, Aolani only talks about fish. And they tend to suffer from Spot the Main Character Syndrome as the NPCS are painfully under-designed compared to them. Your introduction to Nikolai is particularly hilarious because you walk into the clinic and see the plain Dolph in his gray sweater and behind him is this Emo Gakupo reading a book behind him. Sometimes it's the opposite and they look TOO plain. Westley and Jacques look virtually the same and although I married Arnold, he looks more like the younger brother of a marriage candidate than a candidate himself. But he seemed like the type of overworking guy that could only be stopped by a kiss, so I picked him over Nikolai, Kaimana, and Judy. Raising our kid Legato (because music) was a struggle, although it makes having kids in a farm sim actually feel like a challenge. The baby will be wolfing down milk for 3 seasons straight, so do Judy's requests often as she'll give you milk as a reward. Feed the little blob around 3-4 times a day and hopefully Tiny won't pester you. WARNING: I encountered a glitch where while I was in the middle of charging my sickle to cut some weeds, Tiny alerted me that my baby needed me. I ended up stuck with my charging circle still around me, but I was no longer holding my sickle. I was unable to move nor pause the game to warp around, so I had to close the game entirely. One really interesting thing I noticed though is that aside from two instances, your kid is referred to with gender neutral pronouns. At no point in the game was Legato called our son, not even in his character bio. He's simply our child and even the family outing events have the NPCs call him a child. The game may have been rough around the edges, but I had a lot of fun with what worked. The world was huge, with lots of nooks and crannies to fish, forage, farm and tame. Sunsets were glowing and I was genuinely impressed by the night sky, the northern lights appearing every time. New seasons meant tides changing, which meant more areas to explore. Mining just a bit longer could lead you to underground ponds with rare fish. Storylines asking for hard-to-find materials were annoying, but also made the game last longer. Your stamina would deplete as you walked, but it was all the more reason to pace yourself. Explore a bit more everyday so you could find Harvest Fruit and boost your energy. Learn to cook for more replenishing meals, meaning learning how to grow better crops. Experimenting with crop locations so you can collect all of the mutations. The length and size of the game leaves you with a sense of accomplishment. Things like crop mutations, forging, taming animals, fishing and mining take just long enough that you feel great when it's done. Wrap up time. FAVORITE VILLAGE: Lectenbury. Easy to navigate. LEAST FAVORITE VILLAGE: Tie between Herbstburg and Lilikila. Both were hard to remember the location of certain stores. FAVORITE FARM LOCATION: Herbstberg. Far from town, but the land is just big enough for crops and animals.(I'm currently at the Goddess Farm though because I'm the Supreme Leader fite me) FAVORITE BACHELORETTE: Judy FAVORITE BACHELOR: Kaimana for his looks. But he was all about that (sea)bass, so I ultimately dumped him HOURS LOST TO THE WINDS OF ANTHOS: 186 Bye-bye! |
2024.05.20 04:17 frenchiebork Best English Quran Translation from a Christian Perspective with Commentary?
Hopefully downvotes not incoming.
I’m looking for a Quran in English translation with Christian commentary. I tend to favor contextualized and modern (recent) religious commentary from a Christian point of view, but all recommendations are welcome!
I’m intrigued with holy texts and consider myself a lifelong and saved Christian. I’m especially intrigued by the role of Jesus in Islam and love the development of religions.
For those who have found good material, what would you recommend? Thank you and may God bless each of you.
submitted by frenchiebork to Christianity [link] [comments]
I’m looking for a Quran in English translation with Christian commentary. I tend to favor contextualized and modern (recent) religious commentary from a Christian point of view, but all recommendations are welcome!
I’m intrigued with holy texts and consider myself a lifelong and saved Christian. I’m especially intrigued by the role of Jesus in Islam and love the development of religions.
For those who have found good material, what would you recommend? Thank you and may God bless each of you.
2024.05.20 04:16 PiperXL Lost *another* best friend to her demoralizing projections re: the crime of accepting her offers to help me with physical tasks. Does this also happen to any of you?
 | I’m single, unemployed, years away from receiving SSI, and in debt. Hypermobile EDS prevents me from doing simple chores. I’ve also had to move twice (not due to eviction, just $ stuff) in the last 1.5 years. submitted by PiperXL to ehlersdanlos [link] [comments] Years ago, a very close friend (…”friend”) convincingly pretended to be eager to help me until she was resentful, accused me of having an undue sense of entitlement to her, treated me as if her presence in my life was unreasonably taxing volunteer work & as if I was an emotional dependent of hers instead of her peer, and disappeared from my life. All that despite the following facts: I said no for her the very first time her discomfort with a request of mine was somewhat noticeable, I requested exactly zero favors from then on, I never ever subjected her to a guilt trip or otherwise behaved in a manipulative manner, I never asked for money or anything unreasonable, our time together was full of laughter and sharing my art supplies, and I never allowed myself to be fully vulnerable with her—she never had to be my shoulder to cry on. She was a people pleaser and blamed me for her inability to say no. She even said she believed I thought she didn’t love me enough, unwittingly confessing her preoccupation and anxiety regarding the size of her love for me. (Side note: I don’t believe in different sizes of love. I do believe in different sizes of attachment.) That experience compelled me to repeatedly respond to my more current friends’ volunteered offers to help by saying, “I will accept your help on the condition that you do not offer help unless you actually want to. I would rather have no help at all than for you to form resentments.” My closest girlfriend texted, “I want to help” re: my most recent move. She followed up by telling me her availability and followed through. I told her I owed her. She denied that I owed her anything. I then said, “Yes, I do.” Several weeks later, she referred back to her help with the move as a “for example” regarding why she had been distancing herself. After I reminded her that helping me move was her idea (I was undecided about whether I’d ask her to), she said, “I know, but I felt guilty. I felt…frustrated [while I said resentful, which she did not deny].” Another voiced frustration of hers was that she drove to me more often than I drove to her. (Pain management is much easier at my place, it is difficult for me to get out of the house, driving spends my precious spoons, and she can afford gas more than I. Until then, her assertions on that point communicated that she believed it to be equitable.) I responded by suggesting we see each other on Tuesdays because my physical therapist is on her side of town. I also told her I want to address anything she needs to experience our friendship as compatible with her self-respect. Anyway. It’s been a week since she sent the message in the screenshot. I’m on the edge of my seat. What special need(s) do I require friends to meet? Wait, no. I misspoke. It’s not my job description for friends or even a friend, but for The Friend. Wow I sound EXTRA. All because my connective tissue physically disables me. I’m also drawing a blank on how I managed to forget instructing her to prioritize my well-being. Definitely sounds like I am a soul vampire. What I need is to be taken at face-value and offer the same trust and respect to people safely. I need a break from being the object of others’ egos, misdirected anger, and envy (it’s a thing—what we need aren’t necessary accommodations so much as excuses to get special treatment). I spent today shaking and paralyzed by the grief and rage boiling in my torso. It still does not compute. I did everything within reason to prevent this. Trusting people without suffering unrelenting and inescapable existential injury seems a privilege reserved for the luckiest. TLDR: Accepting help I physically need ruins my friendships and I am in shock. No matter how mindful and emotionally mature I am, people I love perceive me as too much due to hEDS. |
2024.05.20 04:16 MysteriousBurner211 My therapist shamed me for not owning a house and now my mental health is significantly worse.
I signed up for therapy in late December of 2023. My therapist was weirdly hung up on shaming me for not owning a house. At one point I began to suspect that she must run a real estate gig on the side, as the subject was brought up completely unprovoked more than once.
Roughly ten minutes into my first session, my therapist bluntly asked me, "so what's the hold up on buying your own house?" The question came completely out of left field. It had nothing to do with what we were talking about, and her passive aggressive nature about it caught me off guard. I tried to convince myself that she was just trying to be funny, but the joke didn't land.
My second session wasn't too bad, but the vibe was definitely weird. I had this gut feeling that she was being overly critical of everything I said. Once again, I tried to rationalize it. I told myself that I was just reading too deep into it and that she totally wasn't judging me. Then session three came around...
The house issue was brought up again during my third (and final) session with this particular therapist. This time she was more invasive about it. She started asking me about how much money I make at my job and how much money I have saved up. She insisted that I had "enough to buy a house" and even had the nerve to tell me that, "ten years ago [she] quit [her] job and bought a house, so there is no reason [I] can't do the same today."
For the record, I spoke to a mortgage loan officer at a local bank, and I was told that I definitely do not have enough to buy a house.
It was now painfully obvious that my therapist was not just trying to be funny, she was indeed actually judging me. At this point I was already quite irritated, and then she proceeded to say,
"I think your goal in attending therapy should be to become a little more self-sufficient,"
and that made my blood boil. I work a full-time job and pay all my own bills, including my RENT, with the money I earn. Who the hell is this person to make some catty remark about me not being self-sufficient?
I would also like to point out that she made this comment right after I already told her that my goal in attending therapy was to reach a point where relentless and aggressive intrusive thoughts no longer had total control over my life. My therapist flat out dismissed my mental health issues as unimportant in favor of browbeating me for not being a homeowner. That's really awesome.
I told her that her that what she said made me feel like absolute garbage, and she played it off like I was completely irrational and totally in the wrong for being offended. She then proceeded to say that she didn't think she would be able to help me, I might have schizophrenia, and I would probably have to be medicated. She did not attempt to apologize.
Every single person who keeps up with current events will tell you that home prices are soaring to the point that they are becoming laughably unreasonable. Many, many people are currently unable to afford a home. This is an issue that the ENTIRE COUNTRY is dealing with, but my therapist singled me out and acted like I was the only person on earth who doesn't own a house. My current living situation was not even an issue on my mind until this "mental health professional" went out of her way to make sure I felt ashamed of it. I'm still fuming over this. I was searching for help with my mental health, and I wound up leaving therapy feeling WORSE! The issues I sought therapy for in the first place went unresolved, and now I'm also paranoid that I'm being judged for not owning a house!
I honestly don't know what to expect from posting this. I have had this buzzing around in my head for so long. I thought that maybe talking about my experience and receiving input from outsiders looking in would help me process it.
submitted by MysteriousBurner211 to offmychest [link] [comments]
Roughly ten minutes into my first session, my therapist bluntly asked me, "so what's the hold up on buying your own house?" The question came completely out of left field. It had nothing to do with what we were talking about, and her passive aggressive nature about it caught me off guard. I tried to convince myself that she was just trying to be funny, but the joke didn't land.
My second session wasn't too bad, but the vibe was definitely weird. I had this gut feeling that she was being overly critical of everything I said. Once again, I tried to rationalize it. I told myself that I was just reading too deep into it and that she totally wasn't judging me. Then session three came around...
The house issue was brought up again during my third (and final) session with this particular therapist. This time she was more invasive about it. She started asking me about how much money I make at my job and how much money I have saved up. She insisted that I had "enough to buy a house" and even had the nerve to tell me that, "ten years ago [she] quit [her] job and bought a house, so there is no reason [I] can't do the same today."
For the record, I spoke to a mortgage loan officer at a local bank, and I was told that I definitely do not have enough to buy a house.
It was now painfully obvious that my therapist was not just trying to be funny, she was indeed actually judging me. At this point I was already quite irritated, and then she proceeded to say,
"I think your goal in attending therapy should be to become a little more self-sufficient,"
and that made my blood boil. I work a full-time job and pay all my own bills, including my RENT, with the money I earn. Who the hell is this person to make some catty remark about me not being self-sufficient?
I would also like to point out that she made this comment right after I already told her that my goal in attending therapy was to reach a point where relentless and aggressive intrusive thoughts no longer had total control over my life. My therapist flat out dismissed my mental health issues as unimportant in favor of browbeating me for not being a homeowner. That's really awesome.
I told her that her that what she said made me feel like absolute garbage, and she played it off like I was completely irrational and totally in the wrong for being offended. She then proceeded to say that she didn't think she would be able to help me, I might have schizophrenia, and I would probably have to be medicated. She did not attempt to apologize.
Every single person who keeps up with current events will tell you that home prices are soaring to the point that they are becoming laughably unreasonable. Many, many people are currently unable to afford a home. This is an issue that the ENTIRE COUNTRY is dealing with, but my therapist singled me out and acted like I was the only person on earth who doesn't own a house. My current living situation was not even an issue on my mind until this "mental health professional" went out of her way to make sure I felt ashamed of it. I'm still fuming over this. I was searching for help with my mental health, and I wound up leaving therapy feeling WORSE! The issues I sought therapy for in the first place went unresolved, and now I'm also paranoid that I'm being judged for not owning a house!
I honestly don't know what to expect from posting this. I have had this buzzing around in my head for so long. I thought that maybe talking about my experience and receiving input from outsiders looking in would help me process it.
2024.05.20 04:15 brookemarvel My mother is always asking me to do things for her, how can I set up boundaries?
Hello everyone.
I(24F) still live with my parents due to a housing crisis going on in my city. I have recently accepted a higher paying job, so I will hopefully be able to move out soon though!
My mother(50ish) has always been the type to never be bored or sitting down, she ALWAYS has to be doing something, to the point she has been neglectful of her health. She went into the hospital in early December, and was there for 2 weeks(even though she had been sick since October but refused to see a doctor, even after our whole family begged her to) and has been home ever since unable to return to work due to her jobs physical nature( she was on oxygen fulltime, but is now only on it at night while sleeping or walking long distances.)
Ever since then, she has become very reliant on me and my dad. At first we did everything we could for her, because we knew how hard it was for her, but now she has improved she is still asking for all these little things.
If she sees me or my dad sitting down, even if we had just gotten home from work she will ask us to do something, and it's always the same line of ," Can you do me a favor?" It can literally be anything from getting her a drink, handing her phone from the counter, ect. Sometimes she even manipulates us into doing something, there has been several times we're she has asked one of us into a room only for her to ask that we do something for her(like helping her clean out the cabinets she already cleaned out and reorganized the month before, or one time she asked me to help her clean the yard even though we had literally spent the whole day at an amusement park exhausted ). One time she even offered to take me out to lunch, and then it ended up being a full day of shopping because she was looking for a very specific cup, which I wouldn't have minded doing if she had just told me in the first place.
My time at home is spent constantly hearing my name get called, or being guilt tripped for not wanting to do something for her or hang our with her.
She can't seem to do anything alone anymore either. If I am home, she is always calling me to be where ever she is, even if she is just staring at her phone watching Facebook reels, or folding her laundry, and if im not home she latches onto my dad.
I have tried to get her to go out, enjoy herself while she is recovering because I know how much she misses work, but she refuses to see anyone because she doesn't like being seen wearing oxygen by people she knows. I've tried to talk to her about therapy as well, because she has been through so much, but she refuses that as well.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can set up better boundaries or perhaps even talk to her?
submitted by brookemarvel to Advice [link] [comments]
I(24F) still live with my parents due to a housing crisis going on in my city. I have recently accepted a higher paying job, so I will hopefully be able to move out soon though!
My mother(50ish) has always been the type to never be bored or sitting down, she ALWAYS has to be doing something, to the point she has been neglectful of her health. She went into the hospital in early December, and was there for 2 weeks(even though she had been sick since October but refused to see a doctor, even after our whole family begged her to) and has been home ever since unable to return to work due to her jobs physical nature( she was on oxygen fulltime, but is now only on it at night while sleeping or walking long distances.)
Ever since then, she has become very reliant on me and my dad. At first we did everything we could for her, because we knew how hard it was for her, but now she has improved she is still asking for all these little things.
If she sees me or my dad sitting down, even if we had just gotten home from work she will ask us to do something, and it's always the same line of ," Can you do me a favor?" It can literally be anything from getting her a drink, handing her phone from the counter, ect. Sometimes she even manipulates us into doing something, there has been several times we're she has asked one of us into a room only for her to ask that we do something for her(like helping her clean out the cabinets she already cleaned out and reorganized the month before, or one time she asked me to help her clean the yard even though we had literally spent the whole day at an amusement park exhausted ). One time she even offered to take me out to lunch, and then it ended up being a full day of shopping because she was looking for a very specific cup, which I wouldn't have minded doing if she had just told me in the first place.
My time at home is spent constantly hearing my name get called, or being guilt tripped for not wanting to do something for her or hang our with her.
She can't seem to do anything alone anymore either. If I am home, she is always calling me to be where ever she is, even if she is just staring at her phone watching Facebook reels, or folding her laundry, and if im not home she latches onto my dad.
I have tried to get her to go out, enjoy herself while she is recovering because I know how much she misses work, but she refuses to see anyone because she doesn't like being seen wearing oxygen by people she knows. I've tried to talk to her about therapy as well, because she has been through so much, but she refuses that as well.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can set up better boundaries or perhaps even talk to her?
2024.05.20 04:14 OceanGuySF Landlord: Pre-Move out Inspection for Tenant
I’m a landlord in California and my tenant requested a pre-move out inspection, this will be the first one that I have ever done. I know the point of it is to give the tenant a chance to repair damaged items beyond ordinary wear and tear, or the cost will be taken out of the security deposit.
I will document and itemize any obvious repairs that need to be done m but what do I do about the ones I don’t discover until later? Am I basically looking for anything major or aggregious that stands out? I’m aware that California favors tenants in this regard. Any advice on this process would be helpful. Thanks!
submitted by OceanGuySF to RealEstateAdvice [link] [comments]
I will document and itemize any obvious repairs that need to be done m but what do I do about the ones I don’t discover until later? Am I basically looking for anything major or aggregious that stands out? I’m aware that California favors tenants in this regard. Any advice on this process would be helpful. Thanks!
2024.05.20 04:09 OceanGuySF [Landlord-US-CA] Pre-Move Out Inspection
My tenant in California requested a pre-move out inspection, this will be the first one that I have ever done. I know the point of it is to give the tenant a chance to repair damaged items beyond ordinary wear and tear, or the cost will be taken out of the security deposit.
I will document and itemize any obvious repairs that need to be done m but what do I do about the ones I don’t discover until later? Am I basically looking for anything major or aggregious that stands out? I’m aware that California favors tenants in this regard. Any advice on this process would be helpful. Thanks!
submitted by OceanGuySF to Landlord [link] [comments]
I will document and itemize any obvious repairs that need to be done m but what do I do about the ones I don’t discover until later? Am I basically looking for anything major or aggregious that stands out? I’m aware that California favors tenants in this regard. Any advice on this process would be helpful. Thanks!
2024.05.20 04:08 Creative_Heart_11 Techne's Creative Genius, the One and Only Taylor Armstrong!
“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Benjamin Armstrong Father 42 years old Artist Taylor shares a special bond with his father, Benjamin Armstrong. Despite being a single parent for much of Taylor's life, Benjamin always made sure to provide a loving and nurturing environment for his son. He recognized Taylor's unique talents from a young age and encouraged him to explore his creativity without limitations. Benjamin's own passion for art and innovation served as an inspiration for Taylor, shaping his worldview and igniting his love for invention. Benjamin supports Taylor's dreams and ambitions wholeheartedly, even if he doesn't always understand the mechanics behind his son's creations.
Eliza Armstrong Stepmother 43 years old Graphic Designer She brings a different perspective to Taylor's life. As a graphic designer, she values precision and order, which sometimes clashes with Taylor's more spontaneous and chaotic approach to creativity. However, despite their differences, Eliza cares deeply for Taylor and wants what's best for him. She worries about Taylor's safety and well-being, especially when his inventions go awry and cause unintended chaos. She often finds herself playing the role of the voice of reason, urging Taylor to think things through more carefully before diving headfirst into his next project. Despite their occasional disagreements, Eliza recognizes Taylor's potential and admires his boundless imagination and ingenuity.
Rachel Armstrong Half-sister 10 years old Student Rachel Armstrong, Taylor's half-sister, adores her older brother and looks up to him with wide-eyed admiration. From a young age, she was fascinated by Taylor's inventions and artistic talents, often trailing after him like a curious puppy, eager to learn and explore alongside him. Taylor sees Rachel as the most precious angel in the world and is very protective of her. He takes great joy in teaching her how to sketch, build, and code, fostering her own love for art and invention. Rachel, in turn, idolizes her big brother and cherishes their time together.
Overview: Ginger Hair: One of Taylor's most noticeable features is his vibrant ginger hair, which seems to have a life of its own. His locks cascade in untamed waves around his head, framing his face in a fiery halo. Despite occasional attempts to tame it, Taylor's hair always manages to retain its wild, rebellious spirit, reflecting his own untamed nature. Taylor's eyes are a mesmerizing shade of blue. They sparkle with curiosity and intelligence, constantly darting from one point of interest to the next. Across Taylor's nose and cheeks are scattered a constellation of freckles, like tiny stars dotting the canvas of his face. Despite his intelligence beyond his years, Taylor's face retains a youthful charm and innocence. His features are soft and rounded, with a hint of boyish mischief lurking behind his bright smile. There is a sense of wonder and curiosity in his expression, as if he is forever on the brink of discovering something new and exciting. Taylor's fashion sense is a reflection of his personality, blending comfort with a hint of geeky flair. He favors graphic t-shirts adorned with characters from his favorite video games, showcasing his love for gaming and pop culture. His hoodies are oversized and well-worn, providing both warmth and a sense of familiarity. Taylor's cargo pants are practical and utilitarian, offering plenty of pockets to store his tools and gadgets for tinkering. His sneakers are his constant companions, scuffed and worn from countless adventures and late-night gaming marathons.
Quality Traits Positive Optimistic, Creative, Kind-hearted, Spontaneous, Resilient Neutral Naive, Chaotic, Impulsive, Eccentric, Idealistic Negative Gullible, Overbearing, Impatient, Inattentive, Stubborn
Overview: Taylor radiates an infectious positivity that lights up any room he enters. He greets each day with boundless enthusiasm, seeing every challenge as an opportunity for adventure and growth. His optimism is unwavering, even in the face of adversity, and he has a knack for finding the silver lining in the darkest of situations. Taylor's sunny disposition makes him a joy to be around, and his genuine smile can brighten even the gloomiest of days. Taylor marches to the beat of his own drum, embracing his individuality with gusto. He has never been one to conform to societal norms or expectations, preferring to chart his own course through life. Taylor's free-spirited nature is reflected in everything he does, from his spontaneous inventions to his unconventional approach to problem-solving. He thrives on the freedom to express himself creatively, unbound by rules or conventions. Taylor's energy is boundless, and he approaches everything he does with an infectious sense of excitement and wonder. He is easily captivated by new ideas and experiences, often bouncing from one project to the next with the fervor of a child in a candy store. Taylor's excitable nature fuels his insatiable curiosity, driving him to constantly seek out new challenges and adventures. Despite his youthful exuberance, Taylor possesses a keen intellect far beyond his years. He is a natural problem-solver, able to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions to even the most daunting of challenges. Taylor's mind is a whirlwind of ideas and possibilities, constantly buzzing with new inventions and artistic endeavors. His creativity knows no bounds, and he revels in the thrill of bringing his imagination to life. Taylor's intelligence and creativity have instilled in him a healthy dose of confidence, bordering on cockiness at times. He knows his worth and isn't afraid to show it, often speaking his mind with a brashness that can catch others off guard. However, Taylor's confidence is tempered by his humility and genuine humility. He is quick to acknowledge his mistakes and learn from them, never allowing his ego to overshadow his humanity. At the core of Taylor's personality is a deep well of kindness and empathy for others. He genuinely cares about the people around him and goes out of his way to help those in need. Taylor's compassion knows no bounds, and he often puts the needs of others before his own. He is quick to offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, and his unwavering support has endeared him to many. Beneath Taylor's cheerful exterior lies a vulnerability that he often tries to conceal. He is sensitive to the opinions of others and fears being rejected or misunderstood. Taylor's insecurities stem from a desire to be accepted and valued for who he truly is, flaws and all. Despite his outward confidence, he struggles with feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, yearning for genuine connections and validation. Taylor's drive for excellence can sometimes border on perfectionism, leading him to be overly critical of himself and his work. He sets high standards for himself and is often disappointed when he falls short of his own expectations. However, Taylor's perfectionism is tempered by his resilience and determination to persevere in the face of failure. He sees each setback as an opportunity to learn and grow, refusing to let obstacles dampen his spirit. Taylor has a gift for communication, able to express his thoughts and feelings with clarity and sincerity. He is a natural storyteller, captivating audiences with his animated anecdotes and infectious enthusiasm. Taylor's ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level makes him a trusted confidant and valued friend. He listens intently to others, offering words of encouragement and wisdom when needed. Taylor approaches life with a sense of adventure, always eager to explore new horizons and push the boundaries of what is possible. He thrives on the thrill of discovery, relishing in the excitement of unknown possibilities. Taylor's insatiable curiosity drives him to seek out new experiences and embrace the unknown with open arms. Whether embarking on a daring quest or simply trying out a new recipe, he approaches each adventure with the same sense of wonder and excitement. Taylor has a playful sense of humor that often borders on mischievousness. He loves to joke and laugh, finding joy in the absurdities of life. Taylor's playful nature brings levity to even the most serious of situations, helping to ease tension and lift spirits. He delights in pulling harmless pranks and sharing witty banter with friends, always with a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face. Taylor is incredibly adaptable, able to thrive in any environment or situation. He approaches change with a sense of curiosity and excitement, eager to embrace new challenges and opportunities. Taylor's ability to adapt to different circumstances has served him well throughout his life, allowing him to navigate the complexities of both the mortal world and the realm of the gods with ease.
Preferences
Favourite... Item Food Macaroni and cheese, mango milkshake Colour Electric Blue Season Summer Weather Sunny, warm, clear skies Music Pop, rock, orchestral, jazz, celtic Animals Bunnies and Cats Book/Movie Genre Fantasy, Sci-fi, Romance, Slice-of-life, Adventure, Action Media Avatar: The Last Airbender, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Kingdom Hearts, Legend of Zelda, Genshin Impact, Honkai Impact 3rd, Honkai: Star Rail, Pokémon, a scary amount of anime, etc…
Hobbies:
Weapon of Choice: Bastard Sword
Fatal Flaw: Naivety Taylor's fatal flaw lies in his inherent naivety, stemming from his trusting and optimistic nature. Despite his intelligence and creativity, Taylor often lacks the worldly wisdom and discernment needed to navigate the complexities of the world around him. His naivety makes him vulnerable to manipulation and deception, as he struggles to see the darker intentions lurking behind the smiles of others.
Taylor Bennett Armstrong was born into a creatively vibrant family. His father, Benjamin Armstrong, was a dedicated artist who often spent hours in his studio, painting and sculpting. Benjamin's work was deeply inspired by classical art, and his studio was filled with references to mythological themes and ancient techniques. This environment planted the seeds of creativity in Taylor from a very young age.
Taylor’s biological mother was Techne, the goddess of art, craft, and invention, but he had no knowledge of her divine heritage. His mother left shortly after his birth, leaving Benjamin to raise Taylor on his own. Despite the absence of his mother, Taylor's early childhood was filled with love and encouragement from his father.
When Taylor was five, Benjamin met Eliza, a talented graphic designer, at an art exhibit. They quickly bonded over their shared love for art and soon married. Eliza embraced Taylor as her own, though she struggled to understand his unique, often chaotic way of thinking and creating.
Even as a young child, Taylor showed remarkable intelligence and creativity. By the age of six, he was building simple machines and drawing intricate designs. His father was both amazed and slightly concerned when Taylor began to take apart household appliances to understand how they worked. While Benjamin encouraged his son's curiosity, Eliza worried about the constant mess and occasional accidents that resulted from Taylor's experiments.
Taylor’s half-sister, Rachel, was born when he was five. She looked up to her big brother with admiration, often following him around and watching as he created his various inventions. Despite the occasional mishap, Taylor and Rachel shared a close bond, with Taylor frequently making small toys and gadgets to entertain her.
School was both a blessing and a curse for Taylor. His intelligence allowed him to excel academically, but his unique way of thinking and his constant tinkering often got him into trouble. Teachers labeled him a "problem child" due to his inability to sit still and follow conventional methods. Taylor's inventions occasionally caused disruptions, further cementing his reputation.
Socially, Taylor found it hard to connect with his peers. His enthusiasm and intelligence often intimidated other children, and he was frequently taken advantage of by classmates who used him to boost their own grades. These experiences left Taylor feeling lonely and self-conscious about his naivety, although he never let it dampen his cheerful spirit.
Taylor's life took a dramatic turn when he was 15 years old. One day, while working on a particularly ambitious project in his makeshift workshop, he was visited by Oleander, a satyr sent by Camp Half-Blood. Oleander had been observing Taylor for some time, noting his extraordinary abilities and his connection to the divine.
Oleander revealed to Taylor the truth about his mother, Techne, and his demigod heritage. At first, Taylor was skeptical, thinking it was some sort of elaborate joke or fantasy. However, Oleander's ability to demonstrate his satyr powers and his deep knowledge of Taylor's unexplained talents eventually convinced him.
Explaining the situation to his family was a challenge. Benjamin, who had always suspected that there was something special about Taylor, took the news in stride. Eliza, though worried and confused, ultimately supported the decision, understanding that Camp Half-Blood could provide Taylor with the guidance he needed. Rachel was both excited and scared for her brother, worried about the dangers he might face and she would miss him.
Thankfully, despite the huge distance he and Oleander had to travel from Toronto to Long Island went calmly, for the most part, with not many delays or monsters attacking them.
Well, at least until they reached New York. After that, the whole “calm journey” was out the window. It almost seemed like all the monsters decided to wait until they were close to their destination to suddenly appear one after the other. First they had to somehow avoid a cyclops. Then they were attacked by dracanaea. And finally, they were chased by harpies until they crossed the border of Camp Half-Blood.
By some miracle, they were still alive.
What a way to be introduced to demigod life.
Taylor's arrival at Campbell Half-Blood was… something, alright.
You know, being chased by monsters from New York to Long Island, passing out in between attacks and then waking up in the Medic Cabin feeling like you've been hit by a truck and maimed by a cat at the same time was, in short, not fun. It also didn't help the fact that he had to stay in bed to get treated for what, hours. Which, for someone like Taylor, was absolute torture. Good for him then that demigods, apparently, had magic healing and he didn't have to stay for days instead. At least Oleander was around to explain every detail about the world he's been thrust into now that he was out of danger. And as a plus, he was also claimed, so yay! He had no clue who Techne was, but he was sure he would learn soon enough.
So, what does Taylor do after getting patched up? Does he wait and rest for a bit just to make sure everything is okay with him? Does he stop for a moment to process everything that has happened to him in the last 24 hours?
No! Of course not! This is Taylor, after all. Him staying put for more than 10 minutes would be a miracle already.
Instead, he just went off on his own to see what this Camp Half-Blood was all about. He just had to get to his cabin first, which would be relatively easy with Oleander's instructions, and then he could explore this place to his heart's content!
Hopefully, Camp Half-Blood would be ready for the chaotic force Taylor would prove to be.
[OOC: Hello, everyone! Say hello to my new character, Taylor! Feel free to interact with him literally anywhere at Camp, he's probably going to be there at some point anyway lmao. Thanks for reading;)]
submitted by Creative_Heart_11 to CampHalfBloodRP [link] [comments]
| Bio | |
|---|---|
| Name: Taylor Bennett Armstrong | Date of Birth: 04/03/2024 |
| Age: 15 years old | Gender: Demiboy (he/his, they/them) |
| Sexual Orientation: Pansexual | Nationality: Canadian |
| Ethnicity: Irish-Jewish | Languages: English, French, Japanese |
| Hometown: Toronto, Canada | Demigod Conundrums: ADHD |
Family:
Name Relation Age Occupation Relationship ------------Benjamin Armstrong Father 42 years old Artist Taylor shares a special bond with his father, Benjamin Armstrong. Despite being a single parent for much of Taylor's life, Benjamin always made sure to provide a loving and nurturing environment for his son. He recognized Taylor's unique talents from a young age and encouraged him to explore his creativity without limitations. Benjamin's own passion for art and innovation served as an inspiration for Taylor, shaping his worldview and igniting his love for invention. Benjamin supports Taylor's dreams and ambitions wholeheartedly, even if he doesn't always understand the mechanics behind his son's creations.
Eliza Armstrong Stepmother 43 years old Graphic Designer She brings a different perspective to Taylor's life. As a graphic designer, she values precision and order, which sometimes clashes with Taylor's more spontaneous and chaotic approach to creativity. However, despite their differences, Eliza cares deeply for Taylor and wants what's best for him. She worries about Taylor's safety and well-being, especially when his inventions go awry and cause unintended chaos. She often finds herself playing the role of the voice of reason, urging Taylor to think things through more carefully before diving headfirst into his next project. Despite their occasional disagreements, Eliza recognizes Taylor's potential and admires his boundless imagination and ingenuity.
Rachel Armstrong Half-sister 10 years old Student Rachel Armstrong, Taylor's half-sister, adores her older brother and looks up to him with wide-eyed admiration. From a young age, she was fascinated by Taylor's inventions and artistic talents, often trailing after him like a curious puppy, eager to learn and explore alongside him. Taylor sees Rachel as the most precious angel in the world and is very protective of her. He takes great joy in teaching her how to sketch, build, and code, fostering her own love for art and invention. Rachel, in turn, idolizes her big brother and cherishes their time together.
Appearance
Faceclaim: this Picrew Voiceclaim Walter from Spies in Disguise| Features | Description |
|---|---|
| Height | 5’8 feet |
| Weight | 157 lbs |
| Hair | Ginger |
| Eyes | Blue |
| Skin | Tan |
| Build | Lean, slim |
| Scent | Ink, paint, oil |
| Attire | Gamer Aesthetic |
Personality
“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” Dorothy ParkerQuality Traits Positive Optimistic, Creative, Kind-hearted, Spontaneous, Resilient Neutral Naive, Chaotic, Impulsive, Eccentric, Idealistic Negative Gullible, Overbearing, Impatient, Inattentive, Stubborn
Overview: Taylor radiates an infectious positivity that lights up any room he enters. He greets each day with boundless enthusiasm, seeing every challenge as an opportunity for adventure and growth. His optimism is unwavering, even in the face of adversity, and he has a knack for finding the silver lining in the darkest of situations. Taylor's sunny disposition makes him a joy to be around, and his genuine smile can brighten even the gloomiest of days. Taylor marches to the beat of his own drum, embracing his individuality with gusto. He has never been one to conform to societal norms or expectations, preferring to chart his own course through life. Taylor's free-spirited nature is reflected in everything he does, from his spontaneous inventions to his unconventional approach to problem-solving. He thrives on the freedom to express himself creatively, unbound by rules or conventions. Taylor's energy is boundless, and he approaches everything he does with an infectious sense of excitement and wonder. He is easily captivated by new ideas and experiences, often bouncing from one project to the next with the fervor of a child in a candy store. Taylor's excitable nature fuels his insatiable curiosity, driving him to constantly seek out new challenges and adventures. Despite his youthful exuberance, Taylor possesses a keen intellect far beyond his years. He is a natural problem-solver, able to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions to even the most daunting of challenges. Taylor's mind is a whirlwind of ideas and possibilities, constantly buzzing with new inventions and artistic endeavors. His creativity knows no bounds, and he revels in the thrill of bringing his imagination to life. Taylor's intelligence and creativity have instilled in him a healthy dose of confidence, bordering on cockiness at times. He knows his worth and isn't afraid to show it, often speaking his mind with a brashness that can catch others off guard. However, Taylor's confidence is tempered by his humility and genuine humility. He is quick to acknowledge his mistakes and learn from them, never allowing his ego to overshadow his humanity. At the core of Taylor's personality is a deep well of kindness and empathy for others. He genuinely cares about the people around him and goes out of his way to help those in need. Taylor's compassion knows no bounds, and he often puts the needs of others before his own. He is quick to offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, and his unwavering support has endeared him to many. Beneath Taylor's cheerful exterior lies a vulnerability that he often tries to conceal. He is sensitive to the opinions of others and fears being rejected or misunderstood. Taylor's insecurities stem from a desire to be accepted and valued for who he truly is, flaws and all. Despite his outward confidence, he struggles with feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, yearning for genuine connections and validation. Taylor's drive for excellence can sometimes border on perfectionism, leading him to be overly critical of himself and his work. He sets high standards for himself and is often disappointed when he falls short of his own expectations. However, Taylor's perfectionism is tempered by his resilience and determination to persevere in the face of failure. He sees each setback as an opportunity to learn and grow, refusing to let obstacles dampen his spirit. Taylor has a gift for communication, able to express his thoughts and feelings with clarity and sincerity. He is a natural storyteller, captivating audiences with his animated anecdotes and infectious enthusiasm. Taylor's ability to connect with others on a deep emotional level makes him a trusted confidant and valued friend. He listens intently to others, offering words of encouragement and wisdom when needed. Taylor approaches life with a sense of adventure, always eager to explore new horizons and push the boundaries of what is possible. He thrives on the thrill of discovery, relishing in the excitement of unknown possibilities. Taylor's insatiable curiosity drives him to seek out new experiences and embrace the unknown with open arms. Whether embarking on a daring quest or simply trying out a new recipe, he approaches each adventure with the same sense of wonder and excitement. Taylor has a playful sense of humor that often borders on mischievousness. He loves to joke and laugh, finding joy in the absurdities of life. Taylor's playful nature brings levity to even the most serious of situations, helping to ease tension and lift spirits. He delights in pulling harmless pranks and sharing witty banter with friends, always with a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face. Taylor is incredibly adaptable, able to thrive in any environment or situation. He approaches change with a sense of curiosity and excitement, eager to embrace new challenges and opportunities. Taylor's ability to adapt to different circumstances has served him well throughout his life, allowing him to navigate the complexities of both the mortal world and the realm of the gods with ease.
Preferences
Favourite... Item Food Macaroni and cheese, mango milkshake Colour Electric Blue Season Summer Weather Sunny, warm, clear skies Music Pop, rock, orchestral, jazz, celtic Animals Bunnies and Cats Book/Movie Genre Fantasy, Sci-fi, Romance, Slice-of-life, Adventure, Action Media Avatar: The Last Airbender, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Kingdom Hearts, Legend of Zelda, Genshin Impact, Honkai Impact 3rd, Honkai: Star Rail, Pokémon, a scary amount of anime, etc…
Hobbies:
- Drawing
- Painting
- Crafting
- Sewing
- Video Games
- Cosplay
Demigod Info
Powers| Name | Type | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Psychometry | Domain | The ability to glean information from a particular object relevant to the parent's domain, especially its material make-up and method of creation. (Crafts, Mechanics and Art) |
| Enhanced Skill Proficiency | Domain | A trait where one is naturally adept in the skills lorded over by their parent. (Crafts, Mechanics and Art) |
| Summon Tool | Domain | The ability to summon any small tool. (Once every 5 minutes or per turn.) (Duct Tape or Superglue) |
| Machine Communication | Minor | A trait where one is able to understand and communicate with automatons and machinery (includes code). |
| Electrical Resistance | Minor | A trait where one is able to resist electricity to a such degree that they are able to withstand badly interacting with small appliances. |
| Machine Manipulation (Technokinesis) | Minor | The ability to directly control mechanisms, machines and automatons. |
| Basic Enchantment | Major | The ability to imbue weapons, crafts, machinery and automatons with magical properties (modmail for specific enchantments). Options: Weapon Transformation—into a mundane item; Monster Hunting Proficiency for a) Fleshy Monsters—Sharpness, b) Armored Monsters—Bludgeoning, c) Ghosty Monsters—Absorption |
Fatal Flaw: Naivety Taylor's fatal flaw lies in his inherent naivety, stemming from his trusting and optimistic nature. Despite his intelligence and creativity, Taylor often lacks the worldly wisdom and discernment needed to navigate the complexities of the world around him. His naivety makes him vulnerable to manipulation and deception, as he struggles to see the darker intentions lurking behind the smiles of others.
Items and Equipment
| Name | Age | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Sketchbook | 7 years old | Taylor always carries a sketchbook with him, filled with doodles, sketches, and designs inspired by his vivid imagination. |
| Art Supplies | 3 years old | As someone who enjoys art, Taylor keeps a collection of art supplies like pencils, markers, and colored pencils, allowing him to bring his creative visions to life wherever he goes. |
| Tool Kit | 5 years old | As a budding inventor and tinkerer, Taylor carries a compact tool kit with him at all times. It contains essential tools like screwdrivers, pliers, wrenches, and a mini soldering iron, allowing him to repair gadgets, fix mechanical issues, and work on DIY projects on the fly. |
| Nintendo Switch | 2 years old | Taylor never leaves home without Nintendo Switch. He keeps a selection of his favorite games in his backpack, ready to play whenever he has a spare moment to indulge in his love of gaming. |
| Music Player | 3 years old | Music is a constant source of inspiration and motivation for Taylor, so he always carries a portable music player loaded with his favorite tunes. |
| Cat Headphones | 1 year old | High-quality headphones that allow him to escape into his own world of music whenever he needs a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. They are cat-themed for no reason other than Taylor felt like it. |
Trivia
- Zodiac Sign: Pisces
- MBTI: ESTP-T (The Entrepreneur)
- Enneagram: Type 7 (The Enthusiast)
- Love Languages: Words of Affirmation (receive); Acts of service (give)
- Quirk: Doodling on almost every surface he sees when bored.
- Fears: Hurting People, Big Animals
Backstory
“There is no innovation and creativity without failure.” ***Brené Brown*Taylor Bennett Armstrong was born into a creatively vibrant family. His father, Benjamin Armstrong, was a dedicated artist who often spent hours in his studio, painting and sculpting. Benjamin's work was deeply inspired by classical art, and his studio was filled with references to mythological themes and ancient techniques. This environment planted the seeds of creativity in Taylor from a very young age.
Taylor’s biological mother was Techne, the goddess of art, craft, and invention, but he had no knowledge of her divine heritage. His mother left shortly after his birth, leaving Benjamin to raise Taylor on his own. Despite the absence of his mother, Taylor's early childhood was filled with love and encouragement from his father.
When Taylor was five, Benjamin met Eliza, a talented graphic designer, at an art exhibit. They quickly bonded over their shared love for art and soon married. Eliza embraced Taylor as her own, though she struggled to understand his unique, often chaotic way of thinking and creating.
Even as a young child, Taylor showed remarkable intelligence and creativity. By the age of six, he was building simple machines and drawing intricate designs. His father was both amazed and slightly concerned when Taylor began to take apart household appliances to understand how they worked. While Benjamin encouraged his son's curiosity, Eliza worried about the constant mess and occasional accidents that resulted from Taylor's experiments.
Taylor’s half-sister, Rachel, was born when he was five. She looked up to her big brother with admiration, often following him around and watching as he created his various inventions. Despite the occasional mishap, Taylor and Rachel shared a close bond, with Taylor frequently making small toys and gadgets to entertain her.
School was both a blessing and a curse for Taylor. His intelligence allowed him to excel academically, but his unique way of thinking and his constant tinkering often got him into trouble. Teachers labeled him a "problem child" due to his inability to sit still and follow conventional methods. Taylor's inventions occasionally caused disruptions, further cementing his reputation.
Socially, Taylor found it hard to connect with his peers. His enthusiasm and intelligence often intimidated other children, and he was frequently taken advantage of by classmates who used him to boost their own grades. These experiences left Taylor feeling lonely and self-conscious about his naivety, although he never let it dampen his cheerful spirit.
Taylor's life took a dramatic turn when he was 15 years old. One day, while working on a particularly ambitious project in his makeshift workshop, he was visited by Oleander, a satyr sent by Camp Half-Blood. Oleander had been observing Taylor for some time, noting his extraordinary abilities and his connection to the divine.
Oleander revealed to Taylor the truth about his mother, Techne, and his demigod heritage. At first, Taylor was skeptical, thinking it was some sort of elaborate joke or fantasy. However, Oleander's ability to demonstrate his satyr powers and his deep knowledge of Taylor's unexplained talents eventually convinced him.
Explaining the situation to his family was a challenge. Benjamin, who had always suspected that there was something special about Taylor, took the news in stride. Eliza, though worried and confused, ultimately supported the decision, understanding that Camp Half-Blood could provide Taylor with the guidance he needed. Rachel was both excited and scared for her brother, worried about the dangers he might face and she would miss him.
Thankfully, despite the huge distance he and Oleander had to travel from Toronto to Long Island went calmly, for the most part, with not many delays or monsters attacking them.
Well, at least until they reached New York. After that, the whole “calm journey” was out the window. It almost seemed like all the monsters decided to wait until they were close to their destination to suddenly appear one after the other. First they had to somehow avoid a cyclops. Then they were attacked by dracanaea. And finally, they were chased by harpies until they crossed the border of Camp Half-Blood.
By some miracle, they were still alive.
What a way to be introduced to demigod life.
Present Day
“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun” Mary Lou CookTaylor's arrival at Campbell Half-Blood was… something, alright.
You know, being chased by monsters from New York to Long Island, passing out in between attacks and then waking up in the Medic Cabin feeling like you've been hit by a truck and maimed by a cat at the same time was, in short, not fun. It also didn't help the fact that he had to stay in bed to get treated for what, hours. Which, for someone like Taylor, was absolute torture. Good for him then that demigods, apparently, had magic healing and he didn't have to stay for days instead. At least Oleander was around to explain every detail about the world he's been thrust into now that he was out of danger. And as a plus, he was also claimed, so yay! He had no clue who Techne was, but he was sure he would learn soon enough.
So, what does Taylor do after getting patched up? Does he wait and rest for a bit just to make sure everything is okay with him? Does he stop for a moment to process everything that has happened to him in the last 24 hours?
No! Of course not! This is Taylor, after all. Him staying put for more than 10 minutes would be a miracle already.
Instead, he just went off on his own to see what this Camp Half-Blood was all about. He just had to get to his cabin first, which would be relatively easy with Oleander's instructions, and then he could explore this place to his heart's content!
Hopefully, Camp Half-Blood would be ready for the chaotic force Taylor would prove to be.
[OOC: Hello, everyone! Say hello to my new character, Taylor! Feel free to interact with him literally anywhere at Camp, he's probably going to be there at some point anyway lmao. Thanks for reading;)]
2024.05.20 04:06 BEASTLY_DA_BULLY Role Play PvP PvE server. US PS QUESTION MARK SERVER CHERNARUS/ you can find us on the first page in playstation communities on DayZ under the name [!?!]
🔥🔥🔥 PLAYSTATION COMMUNITIES ON FIRST PAGE
⛔️SERVER NAME: ❗️❓️❗️
Welcome to the question mark prison pvp/rp/pve discord server❗️. You can earn your freedom or simply break out by any means necessary[no glitching]. Outside the prison walls you can build a base, start a faction, join a faction ,pvp or trade at trader. Players have 1 spawnpoint in prison and 10 spawnpoints in an updated kamyshovo. Goodluck and GGs❗️ [only safezone is trader]
⛔️TRADER IS LOCATED AT SOLNICHEY GAS STATION AND TRADER IS THE ONLY SAFEZONE
⛔️ECONOMY CURRENCY IS DISCORD DOLLARS
⛔️ DIFFERENT MONUMENTS IN EACH CITY ON THE SHORE
⛔️LOOT SPAWNS ARE LIKE OFFICIAL CHERNAURUS SERVERS BUT SLIGHTLY BOOSTED
⛔️ WEAPONS WILL SPAWN AS OFFICIAL CHERNAURUS SERVERS AND ALSO EVERY MONUMENT WILL HAVE WEAPONS FOR ALL PLAYERS TO ENJOY
⛔️SPAWN POINTS FOR PLAYERS WILL BE SOLNICHEY DOCKS/SHORE AND KAMYSHOVO DOCKS/SHORE
⛔️ZOMBIES WILL BE BOOSTED SO TRAVEL IN A PCK IF YOURE NOT EXPERIENCED
⛔️NIGHT TIME LASTS 10 MIN WITH 1 HR 30 MIN DAYS.
⛔️MONUMENTS IN SELECT CITIES UP NORTH FOR SPECIAL LOOT
⛔️NO EXPLOSIVES SPAWN OUTSIDE TRADER IF ANY PLAYER WANTS EXPLOSIVES LOOK AT TRADER PRICES
⛔️BASE DESTRUCTION WILL BE ALLOWED EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF EVERY MONTH (PURGE DAY)
⛔️FACTIONS (CLANS) (GANGS)
⛔️TOXIC ZONES WILL BE THE SAME AS OFFICAL SERVERS IN CHERNAURUS
⛔️MAKE FRIENDS, MAKE ENEMIES, MAKE HISTORY.
submitted by BEASTLY_DA_BULLY to DayZRPps4ps5 [link] [comments]
⛔️SERVER NAME: ❗️❓️❗️
Welcome to the question mark prison pvp/rp/pve discord server❗️. You can earn your freedom or simply break out by any means necessary[no glitching]. Outside the prison walls you can build a base, start a faction, join a faction ,pvp or trade at trader. Players have 1 spawnpoint in prison and 10 spawnpoints in an updated kamyshovo. Goodluck and GGs❗️ [only safezone is trader]
⛔️TRADER IS LOCATED AT SOLNICHEY GAS STATION AND TRADER IS THE ONLY SAFEZONE
⛔️ECONOMY CURRENCY IS DISCORD DOLLARS
⛔️ DIFFERENT MONUMENTS IN EACH CITY ON THE SHORE
⛔️LOOT SPAWNS ARE LIKE OFFICIAL CHERNAURUS SERVERS BUT SLIGHTLY BOOSTED
⛔️ WEAPONS WILL SPAWN AS OFFICIAL CHERNAURUS SERVERS AND ALSO EVERY MONUMENT WILL HAVE WEAPONS FOR ALL PLAYERS TO ENJOY
⛔️SPAWN POINTS FOR PLAYERS WILL BE SOLNICHEY DOCKS/SHORE AND KAMYSHOVO DOCKS/SHORE
⛔️ZOMBIES WILL BE BOOSTED SO TRAVEL IN A PCK IF YOURE NOT EXPERIENCED
⛔️NIGHT TIME LASTS 10 MIN WITH 1 HR 30 MIN DAYS.
⛔️MONUMENTS IN SELECT CITIES UP NORTH FOR SPECIAL LOOT
⛔️NO EXPLOSIVES SPAWN OUTSIDE TRADER IF ANY PLAYER WANTS EXPLOSIVES LOOK AT TRADER PRICES
⛔️BASE DESTRUCTION WILL BE ALLOWED EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF EVERY MONTH (PURGE DAY)
⛔️FACTIONS (CLANS) (GANGS)
⛔️TOXIC ZONES WILL BE THE SAME AS OFFICAL SERVERS IN CHERNAURUS
⛔️MAKE FRIENDS, MAKE ENEMIES, MAKE HISTORY.
2024.05.20 03:45 mining_moron A Primer on Kyanah Religion: Part I Road to Hope
It seems like you guys like gods, so maybe you'll like this too! I tried to do something original and alien here...though maybe I failed idk.
In general, Kyanah are a massively polytheistic society, though their religious practices can't be divided into discrete religions with labels. Different gods have different geographical ranges where they are popular and while religious packs generally pick one or a few deities to worship based on their interests and disposition, they generally don't deny the existence of any gods they aren't actively worshiping--a list that may change over the years, depending on what the members of a pack agree works best for them. There is no definitive list of all recognized deities, especially as legendary historical figures and characters from popular media are often venerated in much the same way, blurring the lines considerably. There are gods that have had a consistent following for thousands of years, and short-lived meme gods that emerge from some popular trend, internet joke, or other bit of popular culture, are unironically worshiped by millions for a few years, and are then forgotten just as quickly--or, rarely, become mainstream.
For instance in Ikun, the three most popular deities are the god Iok, seen as a shrewd negotiator and diplomat, often mediating between other gods; the god Akirut, seen as a tinkerer, a creator of things, and an aggressive optimizer; and the goddess Tyorun, seen as a brave and relentless fighter who struggles against the odds to keep what she likes in the universe (this will make sense later). They all have dozens of temples in Ikun, and there are at least 80 gods who have 1 or more temples. The obscure Western Sector water goddess Kya briefly shot into the top three in Ikun around Y940 as a result of being a character in the popular TV show The New Gods of Ikun, gaining millions of worshipers in a few years, but losing most of them in a few more--it's no coincidence that in Road to Hope there are like three girls named Kya who hatched around that time! Much like Earth deities, there is no hard evidence that these gods exist, but it's also very tricky, if not impossible, to prove that they don't (and brings to bear questions about what it means for something to "exist" in the first place).
However, Kyanah don't necessarily see their gods as giant immortal Kyanah sitting in the sky working miracles. Popular media may depict them that way sometimes because it makes for better storytelling and characterization, but actual theological texts do not anthropomorphize them in such a manner. Essentially, the gods are seen as the natural result of an iteratively self-optimizing universe, intelligent processes that seek to refine and perfect the universe. Kyanahs' conception of the actual nature of these gods, whether they form packs with each other, are packs themselves, or are simply atomic beings, also varies greatly depending on culture, region, and each pack's own beliefs. But in general, as scientific discoveries have made it more and more clear that the universe is bigger than just them and their world and that Kyanah aren't special, belief systems favoring less anthropomorphized and relatable gods have become dominant, especially in the southern hemisphere.
The formation and existence of gods in Kyanah religious thought is intimately linked to the worship and belief in said gods. Theogenesis occurs when Kyanah start to believe in some god, the act of associating some set of divine processes and forces with a name, creating the god with that name. It's not so much that they believe this literally creates a god from nothing, so much as they are grouping together pre-existing divine processes under a name to better understand, categorize, and reason with it. The prevalence of belief in some god, and the power of said god, are correlated, or even one and the same, in many societies, as the power of a god is directly related to the extent that they influence the universe, which obviously includes the Kyanah themselves. Similarly, forgotten gods, no longer worshiped, are essentially dead gods, whose names have lost their meaning and thus their power. In a way, the Kyanahs' conception of gods can be seen almost as divine memes so powerful that they are sentient and influence the universe, with "memes" obviously referring to the broader sociological meaning, not funny pictures on the internet. Indeed, the lines between gods, socio-cultural memes, and sufficiently influential fictional characters often blur together in Kyanah culture, though notably, treating any living Kyanah as divine is usually but not always considered blasphemous, and packs who claim to be divine or have a divine member will offend most cultures and almost certainly be regarded as a fraud. Many religious scholars have devoted their lives to trying to make "divine atlases" that map not only the geographical, but also the ontological ranges of the countless gods, trying to pin down exactly what each name refers to.
The purpose of the gods--to iteratively refine and optimize the universe--ties in with the Kyanah concept of afterlife: not a place or alternate dimension that you go to after death, but the idea that you can be part of the next iteration of the universe. Entities that make the universe a better place--which for living Kyanah and their packs, naturally includes living morally (whatever that means to the culture in question) and fulfilling their role in life well--will be kept around by the gods in the next iteration, while entities that make it worse will be removed. In this way, Kyanah religious beliefs promote moral behavior (again, whatever that means to the specific culture in question) via the positive reinforcement of being with their packs again in a more optimized universe if they are good, and the negative reinforcement of never again being with their packs if they are not.
Thus the concept of anything resembling Hell is largely unknown in most cultures, and the closest thing to Heaven is the so-called Final Iteration, an idea that is widespread in some cultures, that the gods will eventually finish their cosmic optimization problem and create the perfect universe; believers in the Final Iteration are also split in whether it will be devoid of suffering and imperfections, or whether it is impossible to reduce such things beyond a certain amount, and the gods will eventually hit that limit. However, other societies reject the idea of a Final Iteration and believe that while the gods may gradually improve the universe and get asymptotically closer to the best possible one, they will never actually reach it. Some cultures believe there was a First Iteration and gods were there from the beginning, and there may or may not be a Final Iteration; others believe that there was no First Iteration and at some point gods arose by chance from random noise and began to optimize the universe in a guided manner, and may or may not reach a Final Iteration; others still believe that the gods have spent an infinite number of iterations trying to optimize the universe, and will never finish. Some believe that even the gods don't know if they will ever finish their task. There are also differing views on whether the gods are, collectively, perfect optimizers that will always improve the universe by some nonzero amount in each iteration, or imperfect optimizers that, while in the long run converging towards an ideal universe, may make some flawed decisions on the way, leading to some iterations being worse than their immediate predecessors. Some theologians and cultures reject the idea of Iterations entirely, instead adhering to a linear cosmology where the universe tends to get more complex and orderly over time, and the existence of gods--beings of extremely high, if not unlimited, complexity and orderliness--is an emergent phenomenon resulting from this, the resulting gods will more efficiently guide the increasing optimization of the universe. However, this view has been declining over time, especially in the past century or two, when Kyanah science has revealed the ultimate fate and heat death of the universe--or at least the current Iteration. Nevertheless, there are still millions of adherents who have found ways to justify this with their belief in a universe that increases in complexity and order.
These views have naturally made Creation myths a relative rarity on the Kyanah homeworld. It seems that primitive societies often believed that their world was eternal and infinite, with no beginning and no end in either space or time. Looking at the world it's easy to see why: it's significantly larger than Earth (and thus has more distant horizons), with vast biomes, no oceans or forests to break things up, few mountains (unless you're near an impact range), and seemingly endless seas of scrubland, desert, or plains stretching into eternity, hence primitive Kyanah often assumed that there was simply no beginning and no end to the world, and it's not too big of a leap from there to the idea that the world never began and will never end--in this cosmology, apparently the sun wasn't a unique object; suns rose out of the ground in the morning in different parts of the world, then burned out, fell, and sank into the ground at night. However, as Kyanah increasingly understood the universe and their place in it, more and more of the patterns underlying reality became clear--that they were not on an infinite flat plain with suns rising out of the ground every day, but on a spinning ball moving around one large sun, and there were many, many spinning balls out there spinning around their own suns--and a cyclical cosmology began to prevail over a linear one--though that is even less conducive to Creation myths.
submitted by mining_moron to goodworldbuilding [link] [comments]
In general, Kyanah are a massively polytheistic society, though their religious practices can't be divided into discrete religions with labels. Different gods have different geographical ranges where they are popular and while religious packs generally pick one or a few deities to worship based on their interests and disposition, they generally don't deny the existence of any gods they aren't actively worshiping--a list that may change over the years, depending on what the members of a pack agree works best for them. There is no definitive list of all recognized deities, especially as legendary historical figures and characters from popular media are often venerated in much the same way, blurring the lines considerably. There are gods that have had a consistent following for thousands of years, and short-lived meme gods that emerge from some popular trend, internet joke, or other bit of popular culture, are unironically worshiped by millions for a few years, and are then forgotten just as quickly--or, rarely, become mainstream.
For instance in Ikun, the three most popular deities are the god Iok, seen as a shrewd negotiator and diplomat, often mediating between other gods; the god Akirut, seen as a tinkerer, a creator of things, and an aggressive optimizer; and the goddess Tyorun, seen as a brave and relentless fighter who struggles against the odds to keep what she likes in the universe (this will make sense later). They all have dozens of temples in Ikun, and there are at least 80 gods who have 1 or more temples. The obscure Western Sector water goddess Kya briefly shot into the top three in Ikun around Y940 as a result of being a character in the popular TV show The New Gods of Ikun, gaining millions of worshipers in a few years, but losing most of them in a few more--it's no coincidence that in Road to Hope there are like three girls named Kya who hatched around that time! Much like Earth deities, there is no hard evidence that these gods exist, but it's also very tricky, if not impossible, to prove that they don't (and brings to bear questions about what it means for something to "exist" in the first place).
However, Kyanah don't necessarily see their gods as giant immortal Kyanah sitting in the sky working miracles. Popular media may depict them that way sometimes because it makes for better storytelling and characterization, but actual theological texts do not anthropomorphize them in such a manner. Essentially, the gods are seen as the natural result of an iteratively self-optimizing universe, intelligent processes that seek to refine and perfect the universe. Kyanahs' conception of the actual nature of these gods, whether they form packs with each other, are packs themselves, or are simply atomic beings, also varies greatly depending on culture, region, and each pack's own beliefs. But in general, as scientific discoveries have made it more and more clear that the universe is bigger than just them and their world and that Kyanah aren't special, belief systems favoring less anthropomorphized and relatable gods have become dominant, especially in the southern hemisphere.
The formation and existence of gods in Kyanah religious thought is intimately linked to the worship and belief in said gods. Theogenesis occurs when Kyanah start to believe in some god, the act of associating some set of divine processes and forces with a name, creating the god with that name. It's not so much that they believe this literally creates a god from nothing, so much as they are grouping together pre-existing divine processes under a name to better understand, categorize, and reason with it. The prevalence of belief in some god, and the power of said god, are correlated, or even one and the same, in many societies, as the power of a god is directly related to the extent that they influence the universe, which obviously includes the Kyanah themselves. Similarly, forgotten gods, no longer worshiped, are essentially dead gods, whose names have lost their meaning and thus their power. In a way, the Kyanahs' conception of gods can be seen almost as divine memes so powerful that they are sentient and influence the universe, with "memes" obviously referring to the broader sociological meaning, not funny pictures on the internet. Indeed, the lines between gods, socio-cultural memes, and sufficiently influential fictional characters often blur together in Kyanah culture, though notably, treating any living Kyanah as divine is usually but not always considered blasphemous, and packs who claim to be divine or have a divine member will offend most cultures and almost certainly be regarded as a fraud. Many religious scholars have devoted their lives to trying to make "divine atlases" that map not only the geographical, but also the ontological ranges of the countless gods, trying to pin down exactly what each name refers to.
The purpose of the gods--to iteratively refine and optimize the universe--ties in with the Kyanah concept of afterlife: not a place or alternate dimension that you go to after death, but the idea that you can be part of the next iteration of the universe. Entities that make the universe a better place--which for living Kyanah and their packs, naturally includes living morally (whatever that means to the culture in question) and fulfilling their role in life well--will be kept around by the gods in the next iteration, while entities that make it worse will be removed. In this way, Kyanah religious beliefs promote moral behavior (again, whatever that means to the specific culture in question) via the positive reinforcement of being with their packs again in a more optimized universe if they are good, and the negative reinforcement of never again being with their packs if they are not.
Thus the concept of anything resembling Hell is largely unknown in most cultures, and the closest thing to Heaven is the so-called Final Iteration, an idea that is widespread in some cultures, that the gods will eventually finish their cosmic optimization problem and create the perfect universe; believers in the Final Iteration are also split in whether it will be devoid of suffering and imperfections, or whether it is impossible to reduce such things beyond a certain amount, and the gods will eventually hit that limit. However, other societies reject the idea of a Final Iteration and believe that while the gods may gradually improve the universe and get asymptotically closer to the best possible one, they will never actually reach it. Some cultures believe there was a First Iteration and gods were there from the beginning, and there may or may not be a Final Iteration; others believe that there was no First Iteration and at some point gods arose by chance from random noise and began to optimize the universe in a guided manner, and may or may not reach a Final Iteration; others still believe that the gods have spent an infinite number of iterations trying to optimize the universe, and will never finish. Some believe that even the gods don't know if they will ever finish their task. There are also differing views on whether the gods are, collectively, perfect optimizers that will always improve the universe by some nonzero amount in each iteration, or imperfect optimizers that, while in the long run converging towards an ideal universe, may make some flawed decisions on the way, leading to some iterations being worse than their immediate predecessors. Some theologians and cultures reject the idea of Iterations entirely, instead adhering to a linear cosmology where the universe tends to get more complex and orderly over time, and the existence of gods--beings of extremely high, if not unlimited, complexity and orderliness--is an emergent phenomenon resulting from this, the resulting gods will more efficiently guide the increasing optimization of the universe. However, this view has been declining over time, especially in the past century or two, when Kyanah science has revealed the ultimate fate and heat death of the universe--or at least the current Iteration. Nevertheless, there are still millions of adherents who have found ways to justify this with their belief in a universe that increases in complexity and order.
These views have naturally made Creation myths a relative rarity on the Kyanah homeworld. It seems that primitive societies often believed that their world was eternal and infinite, with no beginning and no end in either space or time. Looking at the world it's easy to see why: it's significantly larger than Earth (and thus has more distant horizons), with vast biomes, no oceans or forests to break things up, few mountains (unless you're near an impact range), and seemingly endless seas of scrubland, desert, or plains stretching into eternity, hence primitive Kyanah often assumed that there was simply no beginning and no end to the world, and it's not too big of a leap from there to the idea that the world never began and will never end--in this cosmology, apparently the sun wasn't a unique object; suns rose out of the ground in the morning in different parts of the world, then burned out, fell, and sank into the ground at night. However, as Kyanah increasingly understood the universe and their place in it, more and more of the patterns underlying reality became clear--that they were not on an infinite flat plain with suns rising out of the ground every day, but on a spinning ball moving around one large sun, and there were many, many spinning balls out there spinning around their own suns--and a cyclical cosmology began to prevail over a linear one--though that is even less conducive to Creation myths.
2024.05.20 03:09 Glittering_Act_4059 Show recap! 5/19, 2pm showing
This is my second ever time going to SNM. I wrote up about my first time and how magical it was and I'm so glad I got to go again because let me tell y'all I somehow managed to have an entirely new experience this time.
I got the Oz Guest ticket to ensure I got an Ace card, and I was the first one off the elevator. I was dropped off on the 5th floor, alone, which was quite creepy with all the hospital beds and tubs and the forest. There was no one for several minutes, and I was disoriented and couldn't find the stairs or any way out. I drifted between the tub room and the forest, and eventually a nurse appeared in the tub room. I observed her wringing clothes in water, and draping them across the tubs, staging them like they were people. This process was slow and I heard a noise in the distance so I followed that into the forest, where I saw one other guest watching the cottage in the forest. I noticed finally that there was actually a nurse inside, eyes closed, only visible from one angle so I hadn't seen her when I passed earlier.
With nothing else to do, I stood there watching for what seemed like ages. Surely, at some point, she would do something? It was so long that I thought for sure I was missing a lot of the show. I wondered if it was worth it. I wondered what the other guest was wondering. A few others passed us, but no other characters for the longest time. Then a bell chimed, and the nurse finally opened her eyes. She looked out at us, stood, and....closed the window. At this point I was sure I had just wasted my time. I was debating leaving. But no one else was moving. But surely, this was a waste of time. I turned to leave, and suddenly the nurse from the tub room appeared, crying, and the nurse inside the cottage opened the window to observe her. I must say the lighting here was excellent, but then the lighting in this show continuously impresses me. I have never been a lighting nerd but this show has made me realize how impactful lighting can be to a show. It's used masterfully in many scenes.
But back to the show. The nurse finally came out, and touched hands with the other nurse. They walked. I walked. We all wove through that forest, until the tub nurse ran suddenly, and we were running too, and then we were locked out from a gate. The tub nurse appeared in a window to the tub room, and danced as we watched. This small dance seemed to me like she was on the edge of a cliff, and her grief took her over as she fell suddenly off the edge. Not fell, leaped. I read this scene as a woman tortured by grief taking her own life, while a friend? Colleague? Observed.
Then my cottage nurse turned and walked slowly back to her cottage. She opened the door a crack, and turned, staring at me. I stepped closer. She opened it further. Cautiously, I stepped inside. She closed the door behind us. What transpired next was a magical experience I will not soon forget, with the taste of tea on my lips and whispered words about a moon like decayed bark and a sun like a wilted sunflower and stars like flies pinned to place. Blood will have blood...
I left and there was no one outside the cottage or indeed in the forest at all. I made my way through it and the tub room and finally found another hallway. I'm going to be honest, I do forget where I wandered then, and I may definitely be mixing up the order in which the following scenes happened because the night was a fever dream. But I witnessed scenes I did not see the first time I went last month. Somehow, by luck, other than the ending scene and the rave I did not see any duplicate scenes.
I saw the porter - who I don't think I ever encountered last time - and his dance in the hotel lobby is my new favorite. It's so full of raw joy, and though he was clearly an older man he danced with boyish jubilance that was infectious. More than a few of us observers were absolutely dancing along with him as we watched. I also found his interactions with the Boy Witch fascinating and their choreography at the telephones was my favorite by far.
The Boy Witch was another character I only saw in the ballroom and the rave last time, but who I witnessed several scenes with this time around. He's far too fast for me to follow, but I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time several times throughout the show. It was the same actor as last time, and I have to saw I think he plays the character really well. He's clearly sought after by everyone he encounters, seducing and drawing people in. I loved every scene with him almost as much as the Porter. Also, is the snake tattoo his or his characters? It's really beautiful, either way.
I saw two very intimate scenes with the Bald Witch, who I wondered how I missed last show but found out I didn't - she wears a wig through part of the show 😅 The little room she cleans up in a few times throughout the show off the side of the lobby is where I encountered her most. Once solo, and I felt almost bad I stepped into the room with her because I'm not small and I know I partially blocked the view of people outside of the room but fortune favors the bold right? I did try to squeeze myself into a corner, which only resulted in another person coming in to fully block the view from the hallway. That person caught the eye of the bald witch instead of me (I should have just stayed out blocking them 😤) and was allowed to touch her head in a very intimate moment.
The second time I caught her in there was by following a woman whose character name I don't know, after the ballroom scene where the two of them move the trees and then embrace. This time I did not care if I blocked people, me and one other person were in the room and watched the two women clean themselves up and reapply makeup. When the other woman left, I stayed with the bald witch (now wearing a wig), who fascinated me.
At some point I ended up in the rave bar before the rave began. I didn't know the "Hell Here" sign changed to "Hello There" before the rave! Every time I had seen it previously it had the o and t unlit. I saw Hecate readying for the rave. The music changed, and she danced, and eventually she made gasping sounds. Each gasp seemed to be a summoning. A ritual, drawing the other characters towards her. Her scream initiated the rave, and this time I had front row view from a different angle than I had previously, so it was like seeing it new all over again. Every bit as incredible, but different enough to feel like a brand new experience. And again, the lighting, seriously I'm a lighting whore after this show. I will forever judge theater experiences by their use of lighting compared to this show now. I hope whoever is in charge of lighting design is paid handsomely because seriously their work really drives the story. The music too, but I'm more impressed by the lighting tbh.
After the rave, I debated trying for the Hecate 1 on 1 since I knew what triggered it from last show, but I wanted to try new experiences this time so I tried to follow the Boy Witch instead. But I couldn't keep up, and there were too many people, and the next thing I knew I was by myself wandering empty halls again.
I can't remember if this happened before or after the rave, but I saw Agnes in the hall with all the shops. She went into a bedroom, and lay to sleep, where the tailor (not sure that's the characters actual title?) snuck in through the closet and put her capelet over her as she slept. When he left, she woke, and she locked the door to the room. I watched her put on makeup, and then go into the closet. Me and the 3 others watching kind of looked at each other, wondering if we should follow. Two of them tried the door, to find it's locked. Once I knew that I plowed into the closet and had a delirious thought about going to Narnia but no, I just ended up back in the shops hallway, where I saw Agnes meet the man who had covered her when she slept, and together they went into the clothier, and danced as he presented her with fabrics to choose from, and when he left she stole his money, and he brought her flowers, and then she went back to her room. She went next to the detective agency, and wrote a letter which I couldn't read despite trying over her shoulder (I'm a creep, this show makes me feel like such a voyeur lol).
At some point I ended up back in the lobby, watching the porter and the Boy Witch and two women and I think MacBeth? Dancing on the lobby desk, which was wonderfully choreographed again. Instead of following the others I stayed with the porter and situated myself in front of him as he made a tiny boat out of a card. Then Agnes was there, ringing the bell for the porter, and I realized then we'd had a reset because I had seen this scene already. I went to take the boat origami, but as I reached for it another guest snatched it away - like literally, she had been pressed to my side the entire scene, her fingers twitching so she clearly knew the opportunity would be coming. I thought that was a little uncalled for, but whatever, I'd already had a few very special moments today I wasn't going to let one instance sour anything.
I left to find another scene as I had watched this one already, and ended up back at the Manderlay bar by accident. Took that opportunity to use the restroom and grab a quick drink because a woman was singing and she had a lovely voice. Listened until her song was done and when I went to leave, the guy who was the greeter at the start of the show asked if I want to enter a different way, and took me in through the "main" entrance which somehow I had never gone in through before?? This deposited me in the lobby of the hotel of course, and I wandered until I encountered two people running towards each other and embrace, sobbing. The man went on, and far too many people followed him so I followed the woman, who went into the room with the lit cross where Duncan(?) body is. She unwrapped him and used true loves kiss to bring him back to life. Together they went to the ballroom and danced, which was beautiful. Then she left, and I followed our resurrected Duncan because I had NO IDEA he came back to life at any point from last show so I was like bro what are you gonna do with your new life??? Well, he decided to retrace his steps of course, clearly confused and slowly remembering what had happened to him as he went first to the cross room, then to the place of his murder, then through to the room he dances in before his murder, and then he went running. I tried keeping up but well, I am not a runner.
Somewhere along the way I end up back in the ballroom, having followed someone I encountered in the hall. I thought oh great, banquet again, let me wander and see if anything else happens elsewhere since I have already seen this? But as I went to leave, the Porter and a woman came in, and positioned themselves in the back of the ballroom. I had not seen this before as I'm usually at the front, so I decided to stay and see if they do anything interesting. And this is when I realized the show was ending, because the banquet turned into a hanging, and we were then all ushered out.
Second time going to this show, and I feel I saw a whole new show having witnessed so many scenes I hadn't seen last time. I wonder how many more I am missing? I hope to see it once more next month, and maybe finally see the entire show and put together the pieces of plot. I definitely feel that this time I was able to absorb more, and found myself actually applying motives and thoughts and words to scenes that had none. I love that there are very few spoken scenes - it leaves the experience up to the beholder to interpret, and I know from reading others recaps that we all kind of notice different inflections that mean different things to us and change how we view a scene. I'm only sorry i waited so long to see this show - I wish I could have seen it more often to truly capture all of it.
But, I may have another chance next month! Until then, I for one will definitely be getting a good nights sleep after all that walking today 😂
submitted by Glittering_Act_4059 to sleepnomore [link] [comments]
I got the Oz Guest ticket to ensure I got an Ace card, and I was the first one off the elevator. I was dropped off on the 5th floor, alone, which was quite creepy with all the hospital beds and tubs and the forest. There was no one for several minutes, and I was disoriented and couldn't find the stairs or any way out. I drifted between the tub room and the forest, and eventually a nurse appeared in the tub room. I observed her wringing clothes in water, and draping them across the tubs, staging them like they were people. This process was slow and I heard a noise in the distance so I followed that into the forest, where I saw one other guest watching the cottage in the forest. I noticed finally that there was actually a nurse inside, eyes closed, only visible from one angle so I hadn't seen her when I passed earlier.
With nothing else to do, I stood there watching for what seemed like ages. Surely, at some point, she would do something? It was so long that I thought for sure I was missing a lot of the show. I wondered if it was worth it. I wondered what the other guest was wondering. A few others passed us, but no other characters for the longest time. Then a bell chimed, and the nurse finally opened her eyes. She looked out at us, stood, and....closed the window. At this point I was sure I had just wasted my time. I was debating leaving. But no one else was moving. But surely, this was a waste of time. I turned to leave, and suddenly the nurse from the tub room appeared, crying, and the nurse inside the cottage opened the window to observe her. I must say the lighting here was excellent, but then the lighting in this show continuously impresses me. I have never been a lighting nerd but this show has made me realize how impactful lighting can be to a show. It's used masterfully in many scenes.
But back to the show. The nurse finally came out, and touched hands with the other nurse. They walked. I walked. We all wove through that forest, until the tub nurse ran suddenly, and we were running too, and then we were locked out from a gate. The tub nurse appeared in a window to the tub room, and danced as we watched. This small dance seemed to me like she was on the edge of a cliff, and her grief took her over as she fell suddenly off the edge. Not fell, leaped. I read this scene as a woman tortured by grief taking her own life, while a friend? Colleague? Observed.
Then my cottage nurse turned and walked slowly back to her cottage. She opened the door a crack, and turned, staring at me. I stepped closer. She opened it further. Cautiously, I stepped inside. She closed the door behind us. What transpired next was a magical experience I will not soon forget, with the taste of tea on my lips and whispered words about a moon like decayed bark and a sun like a wilted sunflower and stars like flies pinned to place. Blood will have blood...
I left and there was no one outside the cottage or indeed in the forest at all. I made my way through it and the tub room and finally found another hallway. I'm going to be honest, I do forget where I wandered then, and I may definitely be mixing up the order in which the following scenes happened because the night was a fever dream. But I witnessed scenes I did not see the first time I went last month. Somehow, by luck, other than the ending scene and the rave I did not see any duplicate scenes.
I saw the porter - who I don't think I ever encountered last time - and his dance in the hotel lobby is my new favorite. It's so full of raw joy, and though he was clearly an older man he danced with boyish jubilance that was infectious. More than a few of us observers were absolutely dancing along with him as we watched. I also found his interactions with the Boy Witch fascinating and their choreography at the telephones was my favorite by far.
The Boy Witch was another character I only saw in the ballroom and the rave last time, but who I witnessed several scenes with this time around. He's far too fast for me to follow, but I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time several times throughout the show. It was the same actor as last time, and I have to saw I think he plays the character really well. He's clearly sought after by everyone he encounters, seducing and drawing people in. I loved every scene with him almost as much as the Porter. Also, is the snake tattoo his or his characters? It's really beautiful, either way.
I saw two very intimate scenes with the Bald Witch, who I wondered how I missed last show but found out I didn't - she wears a wig through part of the show 😅 The little room she cleans up in a few times throughout the show off the side of the lobby is where I encountered her most. Once solo, and I felt almost bad I stepped into the room with her because I'm not small and I know I partially blocked the view of people outside of the room but fortune favors the bold right? I did try to squeeze myself into a corner, which only resulted in another person coming in to fully block the view from the hallway. That person caught the eye of the bald witch instead of me (I should have just stayed out blocking them 😤) and was allowed to touch her head in a very intimate moment.
The second time I caught her in there was by following a woman whose character name I don't know, after the ballroom scene where the two of them move the trees and then embrace. This time I did not care if I blocked people, me and one other person were in the room and watched the two women clean themselves up and reapply makeup. When the other woman left, I stayed with the bald witch (now wearing a wig), who fascinated me.
At some point I ended up in the rave bar before the rave began. I didn't know the "Hell Here" sign changed to "Hello There" before the rave! Every time I had seen it previously it had the o and t unlit. I saw Hecate readying for the rave. The music changed, and she danced, and eventually she made gasping sounds. Each gasp seemed to be a summoning. A ritual, drawing the other characters towards her. Her scream initiated the rave, and this time I had front row view from a different angle than I had previously, so it was like seeing it new all over again. Every bit as incredible, but different enough to feel like a brand new experience. And again, the lighting, seriously I'm a lighting whore after this show. I will forever judge theater experiences by their use of lighting compared to this show now. I hope whoever is in charge of lighting design is paid handsomely because seriously their work really drives the story. The music too, but I'm more impressed by the lighting tbh.
After the rave, I debated trying for the Hecate 1 on 1 since I knew what triggered it from last show, but I wanted to try new experiences this time so I tried to follow the Boy Witch instead. But I couldn't keep up, and there were too many people, and the next thing I knew I was by myself wandering empty halls again.
I can't remember if this happened before or after the rave, but I saw Agnes in the hall with all the shops. She went into a bedroom, and lay to sleep, where the tailor (not sure that's the characters actual title?) snuck in through the closet and put her capelet over her as she slept. When he left, she woke, and she locked the door to the room. I watched her put on makeup, and then go into the closet. Me and the 3 others watching kind of looked at each other, wondering if we should follow. Two of them tried the door, to find it's locked. Once I knew that I plowed into the closet and had a delirious thought about going to Narnia but no, I just ended up back in the shops hallway, where I saw Agnes meet the man who had covered her when she slept, and together they went into the clothier, and danced as he presented her with fabrics to choose from, and when he left she stole his money, and he brought her flowers, and then she went back to her room. She went next to the detective agency, and wrote a letter which I couldn't read despite trying over her shoulder (I'm a creep, this show makes me feel like such a voyeur lol).
At some point I ended up back in the lobby, watching the porter and the Boy Witch and two women and I think MacBeth? Dancing on the lobby desk, which was wonderfully choreographed again. Instead of following the others I stayed with the porter and situated myself in front of him as he made a tiny boat out of a card. Then Agnes was there, ringing the bell for the porter, and I realized then we'd had a reset because I had seen this scene already. I went to take the boat origami, but as I reached for it another guest snatched it away - like literally, she had been pressed to my side the entire scene, her fingers twitching so she clearly knew the opportunity would be coming. I thought that was a little uncalled for, but whatever, I'd already had a few very special moments today I wasn't going to let one instance sour anything.
I left to find another scene as I had watched this one already, and ended up back at the Manderlay bar by accident. Took that opportunity to use the restroom and grab a quick drink because a woman was singing and she had a lovely voice. Listened until her song was done and when I went to leave, the guy who was the greeter at the start of the show asked if I want to enter a different way, and took me in through the "main" entrance which somehow I had never gone in through before?? This deposited me in the lobby of the hotel of course, and I wandered until I encountered two people running towards each other and embrace, sobbing. The man went on, and far too many people followed him so I followed the woman, who went into the room with the lit cross where Duncan(?) body is. She unwrapped him and used true loves kiss to bring him back to life. Together they went to the ballroom and danced, which was beautiful. Then she left, and I followed our resurrected Duncan because I had NO IDEA he came back to life at any point from last show so I was like bro what are you gonna do with your new life??? Well, he decided to retrace his steps of course, clearly confused and slowly remembering what had happened to him as he went first to the cross room, then to the place of his murder, then through to the room he dances in before his murder, and then he went running. I tried keeping up but well, I am not a runner.
Somewhere along the way I end up back in the ballroom, having followed someone I encountered in the hall. I thought oh great, banquet again, let me wander and see if anything else happens elsewhere since I have already seen this? But as I went to leave, the Porter and a woman came in, and positioned themselves in the back of the ballroom. I had not seen this before as I'm usually at the front, so I decided to stay and see if they do anything interesting. And this is when I realized the show was ending, because the banquet turned into a hanging, and we were then all ushered out.
Second time going to this show, and I feel I saw a whole new show having witnessed so many scenes I hadn't seen last time. I wonder how many more I am missing? I hope to see it once more next month, and maybe finally see the entire show and put together the pieces of plot. I definitely feel that this time I was able to absorb more, and found myself actually applying motives and thoughts and words to scenes that had none. I love that there are very few spoken scenes - it leaves the experience up to the beholder to interpret, and I know from reading others recaps that we all kind of notice different inflections that mean different things to us and change how we view a scene. I'm only sorry i waited so long to see this show - I wish I could have seen it more often to truly capture all of it.
But, I may have another chance next month! Until then, I for one will definitely be getting a good nights sleep after all that walking today 😂
2024.05.20 03:02 Ero_Najimi Hypothetical way to include lengthened partials without missing out on the shortened position and vice versa
Chest and Back dominant
-Camber bar larsen press LP
-Pull Up mid range partial
-Incline press LP
-Inverted Row mid range partial
-Pin Press 1 set flat 1 incline
-Pull Up and Row LP 1 set each
Shoulders and Arms
-Overhead Press LP
-Preacher Curl LP
-Overhead Pin Press
-Curl mid range partial
-Rear Delt Raise mid range partial
-Overhead Extension LP
Legs
-Deficit Deadlift LP
-High bar heel elevated squat LP
-Good Morning
-Sissy Squat LP
-Pin Squat and Sissy Squat mid range partial 1 set
-Calf Raise
This of course isn’t gonna matter for people who aren’t intermediate it’ll be more efficient to just do full rom. The flaw with traditional full ROM is that there’s not much tension in the mid to top. This will especially be true for lifts that are super lengthened bias. You do only 1 set for some unless you want to make the session longer, the 1 set is either equal or superior to the shortened stimulus you would have gotten from full rom because it’s using a lot more weight
Thought process is start with the most important part of the lift that’s why for pulls I favor the mid-short range for the back opposed to presses where it seems to chest/shoulder is mostly active in lengthened. If you care more about glutes then short squatting you’d favor mid to shortened. Deadlift example here is just a lift where I don’t shortened is worth doing like I talked about in my last post. I write it as mid to shortened because I think that better articulates the point of all this, when some people hear shortened I think some of them think of a partial with barely any rom
Why do this annoying goofy shit in the first place? Because the reason growth slows down is because eventually we can’t do another rep or set without getting some type of overuse. There’s no such thing as hyperspecializing in a muscle and being able to do 50+ hard sets just because you have more CNS energy. So instead of doing more reps/sets we just make what we are doing more effective
submitted by Ero_Najimi to naturalhypertrophy [link] [comments]
-Camber bar larsen press LP
-Pull Up mid range partial
-Incline press LP
-Inverted Row mid range partial
-Pin Press 1 set flat 1 incline
-Pull Up and Row LP 1 set each
Shoulders and Arms
-Overhead Press LP
-Preacher Curl LP
-Overhead Pin Press
-Curl mid range partial
-Rear Delt Raise mid range partial
-Overhead Extension LP
Legs
-Deficit Deadlift LP
-High bar heel elevated squat LP
-Good Morning
-Sissy Squat LP
-Pin Squat and Sissy Squat mid range partial 1 set
-Calf Raise
This of course isn’t gonna matter for people who aren’t intermediate it’ll be more efficient to just do full rom. The flaw with traditional full ROM is that there’s not much tension in the mid to top. This will especially be true for lifts that are super lengthened bias. You do only 1 set for some unless you want to make the session longer, the 1 set is either equal or superior to the shortened stimulus you would have gotten from full rom because it’s using a lot more weight
Thought process is start with the most important part of the lift that’s why for pulls I favor the mid-short range for the back opposed to presses where it seems to chest/shoulder is mostly active in lengthened. If you care more about glutes then short squatting you’d favor mid to shortened. Deadlift example here is just a lift where I don’t shortened is worth doing like I talked about in my last post. I write it as mid to shortened because I think that better articulates the point of all this, when some people hear shortened I think some of them think of a partial with barely any rom
Why do this annoying goofy shit in the first place? Because the reason growth slows down is because eventually we can’t do another rep or set without getting some type of overuse. There’s no such thing as hyperspecializing in a muscle and being able to do 50+ hard sets just because you have more CNS energy. So instead of doing more reps/sets we just make what we are doing more effective
2024.05.20 02:35 limbo7898 THIS GAME SUCKS!
I’ve been playing for over 4000 hours and this game SUCKS! The only good part of the game is the part of the story where you get to play thancred. Like 4 years of this game and there hasnt been a single call of duty or fortnite collab. Instead we got this weird yokai watch shit. Like, at this point I’m only playing for thancred. BUT I AM NOT GAY FOR HIM. All this game is is random buttons that don’t do anything and people asking “why did you put leylines down and start spamming thunder 4” I always die at least 10 times and thats IF Healers revive me. I’m not even at endwalker yet because shadowbringers is so hard! I swear if thancred was in that party HE WOULD OF REVIVED ME. BUT I AM NOT GAY FOR THANCRED!!! I swear and I’ve been playing this game so much now my wife wants to leave me. THANCRED WOULDNT LEAVE ME. He’d stay by my side, even in the rain. We’d be all wet and have to take our clothes off. Maybe we’d even share a bed BUT I AM NOT GAY FOR THANCRED! Do yourself a favor, buy a thancred body pillow, and quit this game.
submitted by limbo7898 to ShitpostXIV [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 02:26 sssurrrealism IEI So4 archetype and its correlations with AP typology system
**Sorry i wanted to post this article in two communities. I hope this is not a problem 😭
Lately the whole typology community has been obsessed with narrowing down possible combinations between types of different typology systems. This tendency, without any exaggerations, has reached a point of absurdity. Unfortunately the majority of community supports the idea of strict archetypes, neglecting the fact that human psyche is not a material thing that can fit into certain categories. Our consciousness surely can be characterised by some definitions or dichotomies, nonetheless all typology systems were inherently created to describe mental processes, not to force people fit into specific categorisations. All sciences change their theories if they don’t correspond to reality - for some reason this rule is not applied in typology. The community decided that we have to adjust people’s identities to fit into some rules that are not always correct.
Of course, some combinations are obviously not possible, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that we have to get rid of almost every correlations. Borders between various typology systems are not precise since each of them focuses on its own peculiar studies of human personality. This is the reason why sometimes it’s just impossible to amalgamate some typology methods to create a correlation between them.
In this article i want to talk about IEI so4 archetype and its combinations with types of attitudinal psyche method of typology.
First of all let’s emphasise that 4th enneagram type belongs to heart triad. This means that individuals who identify themselves with this enneatype can only be ethical types in socionics. Considering the fact that 4th enneagram type is also known as a withdrawn one, individuals who associate themselves with this enneatype are most likely to be introverts.
Now let’s dive deeper into details of social subtype. I want to quote a description from this website: “The social instinct motivates us to create relationships and care for the wellbeing of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for. When sensitive to the social instinct, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of anyone we may be in conflict with.”
Description of So-IV subtype by Claudio Naranjo: “Social Fours develop mechanisms for *calling negative attention to themselves*. The shyest of the Four subtypes. There's a shame about desiring, about "loving." Proust is filled with the social envy of the person dazzled by the "aristocracy," who has a passion for being "in", who wants to be included, to receive their favors. A feeling of "I'm nothing," "I'm ugly," "I'm silly." Fours in general want to absorb through their gaze, but this is especially true for the Social Four”
I think both of aforementioned citations are without any doubt correlated to the Fe-function in ego-block position: “Fe is generally associated with the ability to recognize and *convey (i.e. make others experience) passions, moods, and emotional states, … , recognize and describe emotional interaction between people** and groups, and build a sense of emotional unity.*” - desertion is taken from this website:
We can conclude that So-4 enneagram subtype strives to share own emotions with others, in other words to evoke certain impressions in the public. It means that such individuals are focused on their emotional impact on others. This statement also corresponds to the description of the emotional aspect in the 2nd position, which is conscious, extroverted and subjective: “Second Emotions provoke the expression of reactions, showdown. They encourage acting in other people.” - https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/psychosophy-attitudinal-psyche/page/emotion
Now let’s discuss why IEI So-4 individuals may have the volitional aspect in the 4th position. Description of 4V: “The Fourth Will becomes weak-willed, waiting for decisions and active actions from others... Such individual can take the lead, but only if he is “assigned” by those around him, but hardly of his own free will, because he does not like to strain and bear responsibility too much. There is an opinion that the Fourth Wills have no ambitions - this is not so. But it is easier for them to realize their ambitions alone, without responsibility “for a common cause”. In addition, 4V can be “infected” with your dreams and plans with prolonged exposure”.
Aforesaid statement is almost identical to the definition of suggestive Se:
“He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.”
All these arguments indicate that IEI So-4 archetype can be not only an ExVx in attitudinal psyche typology system, but also an xExV.
Thanks for your attention !!!!
submitted by sssurrrealism to Socionics [link] [comments]
Lately the whole typology community has been obsessed with narrowing down possible combinations between types of different typology systems. This tendency, without any exaggerations, has reached a point of absurdity. Unfortunately the majority of community supports the idea of strict archetypes, neglecting the fact that human psyche is not a material thing that can fit into certain categories. Our consciousness surely can be characterised by some definitions or dichotomies, nonetheless all typology systems were inherently created to describe mental processes, not to force people fit into specific categorisations. All sciences change their theories if they don’t correspond to reality - for some reason this rule is not applied in typology. The community decided that we have to adjust people’s identities to fit into some rules that are not always correct.
Of course, some combinations are obviously not possible, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that we have to get rid of almost every correlations. Borders between various typology systems are not precise since each of them focuses on its own peculiar studies of human personality. This is the reason why sometimes it’s just impossible to amalgamate some typology methods to create a correlation between them.
In this article i want to talk about IEI so4 archetype and its combinations with types of attitudinal psyche method of typology.
First of all let’s emphasise that 4th enneagram type belongs to heart triad. This means that individuals who identify themselves with this enneatype can only be ethical types in socionics. Considering the fact that 4th enneagram type is also known as a withdrawn one, individuals who associate themselves with this enneatype are most likely to be introverts.
Now let’s dive deeper into details of social subtype. I want to quote a description from this website: “The social instinct motivates us to create relationships and care for the wellbeing of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for. When sensitive to the social instinct, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of anyone we may be in conflict with.”
Description of So-IV subtype by Claudio Naranjo: “Social Fours develop mechanisms for *calling negative attention to themselves*. The shyest of the Four subtypes. There's a shame about desiring, about "loving." Proust is filled with the social envy of the person dazzled by the "aristocracy," who has a passion for being "in", who wants to be included, to receive their favors. A feeling of "I'm nothing," "I'm ugly," "I'm silly." Fours in general want to absorb through their gaze, but this is especially true for the Social Four”
I think both of aforementioned citations are without any doubt correlated to the Fe-function in ego-block position: “Fe is generally associated with the ability to recognize and *convey (i.e. make others experience) passions, moods, and emotional states, … , recognize and describe emotional interaction between people** and groups, and build a sense of emotional unity.*” - desertion is taken from this website:
We can conclude that So-4 enneagram subtype strives to share own emotions with others, in other words to evoke certain impressions in the public. It means that such individuals are focused on their emotional impact on others. This statement also corresponds to the description of the emotional aspect in the 2nd position, which is conscious, extroverted and subjective: “Second Emotions provoke the expression of reactions, showdown. They encourage acting in other people.” - https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/psychosophy-attitudinal-psyche/page/emotion
Now let’s discuss why IEI So-4 individuals may have the volitional aspect in the 4th position. Description of 4V: “The Fourth Will becomes weak-willed, waiting for decisions and active actions from others... Such individual can take the lead, but only if he is “assigned” by those around him, but hardly of his own free will, because he does not like to strain and bear responsibility too much. There is an opinion that the Fourth Wills have no ambitions - this is not so. But it is easier for them to realize their ambitions alone, without responsibility “for a common cause”. In addition, 4V can be “infected” with your dreams and plans with prolonged exposure”.
Aforesaid statement is almost identical to the definition of suggestive Se:
“He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.”
All these arguments indicate that IEI So-4 archetype can be not only an ExVx in attitudinal psyche typology system, but also an xExV.
Thanks for your attention !!!!
2024.05.20 02:23 NotSoSlimShady1001 The Spirit of a Predator - Chapter 25: An Open Door
[ First / Previous ]
Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.
The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous ]
submitted by NotSoSlimShady1001 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.
The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous ]
2024.05.20 02:21 Kaltovar Great Eras of the Cybernetic Federal Republic of Kaltovar (Abridged)
The First Era:
Kaltovar was once part of massive Empire whose name is now lost to time. That Empire fractured into individual counties when the Emperor died at the age of 93, having outlived his heirs who had died variously of disease, war, and old age.
Most Counties were fiercely xenophobic due to centuries of rivalry, but the County of Kaltovar was an important trade hub of many peoples and its tradition was to welcome outsiders if they had coin. A non-noble member of the officer class, Major Karl Von-Doppelberg, had been elected to rule the County in place of a Count. Karl did not have the highest military rank, but was incredibly wealthy due to his family background, and was able to literally purchase votes.
The less intense xenophobia and more permissive atmosphere toward building meant rapid growth of an industrialized population in the city centers without having to drain the rural areas of their people to make the "Great Industrial Shift" as many of their peers had to do. Land became very expensive but labor was cheap and steel was in great supply, so the Merchants built higher and higher. Rural communities were subsidized to support the growing urban population, and a period of incredible wealth and prosperity ensued that drove even further immigration.
Kaltovar's massive wealthy population in relation to its neighbors allowed it to maintain a substantially larger military force, which came in handy during the brutal decades of civil war between the Counties. The death of the Emperor had left a power vacuum in which every County believed it was the best and most fit to inherit the Imperial throne. Huge factions formed, supporting different rulers, while Kaltovar traded with all of them and accepted the many refugees generated by the fighting. The Kingdom of Nirn, the Kingdom of Balugia, and the Republic of Thet.
A great paranoia swept the land, and it was during this period that the rule of Universal Conscription and the law requiring all citizens to own a "Modern Infantry Weapon" was introduced. At the time, that meant a bolt action rifle. One had to pay a fine of 3 Kaltmarks or 2 chickens if their household was found to have less than one such rifle for every member over the age of 16. This period also saw women and children conscripted into the military for the first time under the theory that they were capable of operating rifles in battle, which was later proven correct.
Eventually the Kingdom of Nirn decided to invade Kaltovar, which brought support from both the other factions who wanted it for themselves. Together, Kaltovar and the two factions slowly consumed the Kingdom of Nirn and then Kaltovar was again neutral. Balugia and Thet resumed their struggles, both intending to finish Kaltovar off when the war was over. Kaltovar, in the meanwhile, continued to build improvements and strengthen its military. Many years passed in the great war between Balugia and Thet, and both of them did frequent trade with Kaltovar.
After a long battle, the exhausted forces of Thet finally defeated the Balugian Royal Army and proceeded to immediately turn their forces against Kaltovar. Kaltovar defended its new lands and simultaniously invaded the former Balugian territory, which was only protected by a light occupation force meant to keep the locals suppressed. Kaltovar, being rich, paid great sums of money to the locals to rise up against their new Thetian masters. The combined peoples of Kaltovar and Balugia annihilated the armies of Thet in a relatively short campaign, because Thet was already tired from fighting against Balugia.
Major Karl Von Doppelberg celebrated the victory by declaring the First Directive of the new Nation, "From Many Peoples One Nation." which confirmed that there was no single culture to be venerated above the rest. Loyalty to the nascent State, productivity, wealth, and military competence were more important.
The Revolution:
Vadim Bel-Khyber was, at one point, an eager young Cybernetics Professor from a long line of aristocratic merchants and military officers. He received the best education from the youngest age, and was groomed constantly to fill the role of a leader. He did not by any means reject his role as the family heir, and was by all accounts excited to take up his position as the head of House Bel-Khyber, but spent enough time in Marxist theory circles to cause minor embarrassment to his family.
When his father fell out of favor with the high nobles for losing his temper during a plenary session, most of their family property and wealth was confiscated,. Vadim's casual interest in Marxist theories of inequality turned into a fanatical obsession now that economic and social inequality personally impacted him. It wasn't just about achieving justice, which was truly part of it, but also more prominently about taking revenge against the Nobles who had wronged his family for simply [talking shit] speaking their minds.
Vadim started by getting a job as a low level public servant, and gradually working his way up to the position of Comptroller-General. He was essentially the master-treasurer for the entire nation, someone who in theory was supposed to have very little actual power. The nobles found it hilarious to keep him in this role, which was seen as unfit for one of his birth, and a mark of shame on the wider Bel-Khyber dynasty. However, they always viewed him as a coward and so never feared him - to their magnificent error.
Over 3000 years ago he instigated a coup against the government he served, though he never altered his official title. He always remained the "Comptroller-General", a position responsible for all financial disbursements on behalf of the government. Gradually, after convincing the nobles to allow him a small "Treasury Police" to catch white collar criminals, he leveraged that authority to refuse to pay for the buildings or wages of entities that opposed him on the grounds of corruption and abuse of funds. This was corrupt on his part because it was to serve his own interests, but he could not be impugned because the corruption actually existed and had merely been overlooked for decades... Enough decades to establish long chains of evidence.
Although his behavior was obviously corrupt, the citizens almost universally supported it because everyone else was even more corrupt.
Vadim worked his way to the top of the Oligarchy, and proceeded to systematically dismantle it using its own tools of control, concentrating all their authority under him and elevating himself to the status of the Supreme Ruler in the process.
As soon as his control was undisputed, Vadim had many of the Nobles and Oligarchs arrested or even killed without warning all over the country on the same night. He established control over state broadcasting systems, ordered the army to open their armories to the public, and ordered the public to go into the armories and take up weapons and "clean up the government as they saw fit."
Although that night of chaos spiraled wildly out of control, the aftermath transitioned into hundreds of years of relatively peaceful rule under a new cybernetic form of government. He originally achieved this by personally performing surgery on himself using a wireless transmitter attached to his brain-stem to enable him to control the robotic surgical instruments even as he extracted his own brain and implanted it into the state machinery.
The Golden Age:
After approximately 1000 years in power, Vadim decided a human brain was no longer necessary. Having already expanded his mind with machine components, he realized his organic brain was less than 1% of his total cognitive capacity. In order to abandon his mortality completely and prove his theory of total consciousness transfer, he dissected his own brain alive and studied it as it died, observing hardly any change in his overall processes and confirming his beliefs.
The same day he faked his own death, releasing press statements that his brain had passed away during a recreational drug induced stroke. He did this because his position as dictator had started to inspire too much fear in his subjects. He wanted them to grow freely and experiment with democracy, though his shadowy hand would continue to guide their course.
Kaltovar was brought under the management of the TEMPEST Council (Temporary Emergency Management Political Economic and Security). The TEMPEST Council was made up one third of those personally selected by Vadim, one third those selected by the leaders of his ministries, and one third by those elected by the people.
The Rule of the TEMPEST Council progressed for hundreds of years and enjoyed broad public support. It was seen as a step toward democracy, spearheaded by one of Vadim's most trusted advisors, Diplomatic Mainframe O.D.I.N. / DZ-00a69v00, until ...
The End of Time:
A top secret facility designated X-16 at the heart of an artificial depleted uranium moon named Lucifer was infiltrated by an agent from a foreign power. There, experiments on a new generation of hyperspace drive were well underway. This hyperspace drive was much faster than previous models, and required hundreds of times more energy. Unfortunately, the technology was dangerously unstable and the lead scientist was under the influence of an inter-dimensional being who sought to turn his work toward demented ends. What manifested was a device capable of altering the specifications of reality, and that is what the foreign agent gained access to. The Agent wished for "A world that would start from scratch, where neither country would be hostile toward each other, and the threat of a great war between them was no more."
Reality, as it was known, was totally destroyed by the device. Survivors were thrust into a new and previously unknown dimension where the laws of physics remained largely intact except for the minor detail that magic existed. Dozens of nations from the same reality were shunted into a single planet that was perfect for life yet mysteriously devoid of advanced civilizations. The new reality is more durable than the previous one because of the presence of magic, and it is no longer possible to destroy it with the same level of technology. This event created a massive energy signature within the multiverse that attracted scouts from other advanced multidimensional civilizations, and this single planet became one of the most populated worlds across realities, where many countries own "Embassy Territories" that are often thousands of miles and include cities, forests, lakes, and all the other features one would expect of a country. This arrangement facilitates diplomacy between these various ancient entities.
A new figurehead, an acid-blooded insectoid alien General T'Xlekhan L'Xrada, has become the defacto leader of Kaltovar due to being in charge of a special anti-doomsday taskforce and leading the bulk of the survivors at the time of the disaster. However, the TEMPEST Council, still lead by O.D.I.N. / DZ-00a69v00, continues to wield extraordinary influence. It is currently unknown whether L'Xrada might become the next supreme leader, or whether he'll inevitably be forced to yield full control to the Council.
submitted by Kaltovar to worldbuilding [link] [comments]
Kaltovar was once part of massive Empire whose name is now lost to time. That Empire fractured into individual counties when the Emperor died at the age of 93, having outlived his heirs who had died variously of disease, war, and old age.
Most Counties were fiercely xenophobic due to centuries of rivalry, but the County of Kaltovar was an important trade hub of many peoples and its tradition was to welcome outsiders if they had coin. A non-noble member of the officer class, Major Karl Von-Doppelberg, had been elected to rule the County in place of a Count. Karl did not have the highest military rank, but was incredibly wealthy due to his family background, and was able to literally purchase votes.
The less intense xenophobia and more permissive atmosphere toward building meant rapid growth of an industrialized population in the city centers without having to drain the rural areas of their people to make the "Great Industrial Shift" as many of their peers had to do. Land became very expensive but labor was cheap and steel was in great supply, so the Merchants built higher and higher. Rural communities were subsidized to support the growing urban population, and a period of incredible wealth and prosperity ensued that drove even further immigration.
Kaltovar's massive wealthy population in relation to its neighbors allowed it to maintain a substantially larger military force, which came in handy during the brutal decades of civil war between the Counties. The death of the Emperor had left a power vacuum in which every County believed it was the best and most fit to inherit the Imperial throne. Huge factions formed, supporting different rulers, while Kaltovar traded with all of them and accepted the many refugees generated by the fighting. The Kingdom of Nirn, the Kingdom of Balugia, and the Republic of Thet.
A great paranoia swept the land, and it was during this period that the rule of Universal Conscription and the law requiring all citizens to own a "Modern Infantry Weapon" was introduced. At the time, that meant a bolt action rifle. One had to pay a fine of 3 Kaltmarks or 2 chickens if their household was found to have less than one such rifle for every member over the age of 16. This period also saw women and children conscripted into the military for the first time under the theory that they were capable of operating rifles in battle, which was later proven correct.
Eventually the Kingdom of Nirn decided to invade Kaltovar, which brought support from both the other factions who wanted it for themselves. Together, Kaltovar and the two factions slowly consumed the Kingdom of Nirn and then Kaltovar was again neutral. Balugia and Thet resumed their struggles, both intending to finish Kaltovar off when the war was over. Kaltovar, in the meanwhile, continued to build improvements and strengthen its military. Many years passed in the great war between Balugia and Thet, and both of them did frequent trade with Kaltovar.
After a long battle, the exhausted forces of Thet finally defeated the Balugian Royal Army and proceeded to immediately turn their forces against Kaltovar. Kaltovar defended its new lands and simultaniously invaded the former Balugian territory, which was only protected by a light occupation force meant to keep the locals suppressed. Kaltovar, being rich, paid great sums of money to the locals to rise up against their new Thetian masters. The combined peoples of Kaltovar and Balugia annihilated the armies of Thet in a relatively short campaign, because Thet was already tired from fighting against Balugia.
Major Karl Von Doppelberg celebrated the victory by declaring the First Directive of the new Nation, "From Many Peoples One Nation." which confirmed that there was no single culture to be venerated above the rest. Loyalty to the nascent State, productivity, wealth, and military competence were more important.
The Revolution:
Vadim Bel-Khyber was, at one point, an eager young Cybernetics Professor from a long line of aristocratic merchants and military officers. He received the best education from the youngest age, and was groomed constantly to fill the role of a leader. He did not by any means reject his role as the family heir, and was by all accounts excited to take up his position as the head of House Bel-Khyber, but spent enough time in Marxist theory circles to cause minor embarrassment to his family.
When his father fell out of favor with the high nobles for losing his temper during a plenary session, most of their family property and wealth was confiscated,. Vadim's casual interest in Marxist theories of inequality turned into a fanatical obsession now that economic and social inequality personally impacted him. It wasn't just about achieving justice, which was truly part of it, but also more prominently about taking revenge against the Nobles who had wronged his family for simply [talking shit] speaking their minds.
Vadim started by getting a job as a low level public servant, and gradually working his way up to the position of Comptroller-General. He was essentially the master-treasurer for the entire nation, someone who in theory was supposed to have very little actual power. The nobles found it hilarious to keep him in this role, which was seen as unfit for one of his birth, and a mark of shame on the wider Bel-Khyber dynasty. However, they always viewed him as a coward and so never feared him - to their magnificent error.
Over 3000 years ago he instigated a coup against the government he served, though he never altered his official title. He always remained the "Comptroller-General", a position responsible for all financial disbursements on behalf of the government. Gradually, after convincing the nobles to allow him a small "Treasury Police" to catch white collar criminals, he leveraged that authority to refuse to pay for the buildings or wages of entities that opposed him on the grounds of corruption and abuse of funds. This was corrupt on his part because it was to serve his own interests, but he could not be impugned because the corruption actually existed and had merely been overlooked for decades... Enough decades to establish long chains of evidence.
Although his behavior was obviously corrupt, the citizens almost universally supported it because everyone else was even more corrupt.
Vadim worked his way to the top of the Oligarchy, and proceeded to systematically dismantle it using its own tools of control, concentrating all their authority under him and elevating himself to the status of the Supreme Ruler in the process.
As soon as his control was undisputed, Vadim had many of the Nobles and Oligarchs arrested or even killed without warning all over the country on the same night. He established control over state broadcasting systems, ordered the army to open their armories to the public, and ordered the public to go into the armories and take up weapons and "clean up the government as they saw fit."
Although that night of chaos spiraled wildly out of control, the aftermath transitioned into hundreds of years of relatively peaceful rule under a new cybernetic form of government. He originally achieved this by personally performing surgery on himself using a wireless transmitter attached to his brain-stem to enable him to control the robotic surgical instruments even as he extracted his own brain and implanted it into the state machinery.
The Golden Age:
After approximately 1000 years in power, Vadim decided a human brain was no longer necessary. Having already expanded his mind with machine components, he realized his organic brain was less than 1% of his total cognitive capacity. In order to abandon his mortality completely and prove his theory of total consciousness transfer, he dissected his own brain alive and studied it as it died, observing hardly any change in his overall processes and confirming his beliefs.
The same day he faked his own death, releasing press statements that his brain had passed away during a recreational drug induced stroke. He did this because his position as dictator had started to inspire too much fear in his subjects. He wanted them to grow freely and experiment with democracy, though his shadowy hand would continue to guide their course.
Kaltovar was brought under the management of the TEMPEST Council (Temporary Emergency Management Political Economic and Security). The TEMPEST Council was made up one third of those personally selected by Vadim, one third those selected by the leaders of his ministries, and one third by those elected by the people.
The Rule of the TEMPEST Council progressed for hundreds of years and enjoyed broad public support. It was seen as a step toward democracy, spearheaded by one of Vadim's most trusted advisors, Diplomatic Mainframe O.D.I.N. / DZ-00a69v00, until ...
The End of Time:
A top secret facility designated X-16 at the heart of an artificial depleted uranium moon named Lucifer was infiltrated by an agent from a foreign power. There, experiments on a new generation of hyperspace drive were well underway. This hyperspace drive was much faster than previous models, and required hundreds of times more energy. Unfortunately, the technology was dangerously unstable and the lead scientist was under the influence of an inter-dimensional being who sought to turn his work toward demented ends. What manifested was a device capable of altering the specifications of reality, and that is what the foreign agent gained access to. The Agent wished for "A world that would start from scratch, where neither country would be hostile toward each other, and the threat of a great war between them was no more."
Reality, as it was known, was totally destroyed by the device. Survivors were thrust into a new and previously unknown dimension where the laws of physics remained largely intact except for the minor detail that magic existed. Dozens of nations from the same reality were shunted into a single planet that was perfect for life yet mysteriously devoid of advanced civilizations. The new reality is more durable than the previous one because of the presence of magic, and it is no longer possible to destroy it with the same level of technology. This event created a massive energy signature within the multiverse that attracted scouts from other advanced multidimensional civilizations, and this single planet became one of the most populated worlds across realities, where many countries own "Embassy Territories" that are often thousands of miles and include cities, forests, lakes, and all the other features one would expect of a country. This arrangement facilitates diplomacy between these various ancient entities.
A new figurehead, an acid-blooded insectoid alien General T'Xlekhan L'Xrada, has become the defacto leader of Kaltovar due to being in charge of a special anti-doomsday taskforce and leading the bulk of the survivors at the time of the disaster. However, the TEMPEST Council, still lead by O.D.I.N. / DZ-00a69v00, continues to wield extraordinary influence. It is currently unknown whether L'Xrada might become the next supreme leader, or whether he'll inevitably be forced to yield full control to the Council.
2024.05.20 02:15 sssurrrealism IEI So4 archetype and its correlations with the types of the AP typology system
Lately the whole typology community has been obsessed with narrowing down possible combinations between types of different typology systems. This tendency, without any exaggerations, has reached a point of absurdity. Unfortunately the majority of community supports the idea of strict archetypes, neglecting the fact that human psyche is not a material thing that can fit into certain categories. Our consciousness surely can be characterised by some definitions or dichotomies, nonetheless all typology systems were inherently created to describe mental processes, not to force people fit into specific categorisations. All sciences change their theories if they don’t correspond to reality - for some reason this rule is not applied in typology. The community decided that we have to adjust people’s identities to fit into some rules that are not always correct.
Of course, some combinations are obviously not possible, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that we have to get rid of almost every correlations. Borders between various typology systems are not precise since each of them focuses on its own peculiar studies of human personality. This is the reason why sometimes it’s just impossible to amalgamate some typology methods to create a correlation between them.
In this article i want to talk about IEI so4 archetype and its combinations with types of attitudinal psyche method of typology.
First of all let’s emphasise that 4th enneagram type belongs to heart triad. This means that individuals who identify themselves with this enneatype can only be ethical types in socionics. Considering the fact that 4th enneagram type is also known as a withdrawn one, individuals who associate themselves with this enneatype are most likely to be introverts.
Now let’s dive deeper into details of social subtype. I want to quote a description from this website: “The social instinct motivates us to create relationships and care for the wellbeing of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for. When sensitive to the social instinct, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of anyone we may be in conflict with.”
Description of So-IV subtype by Claudio Naranjo: “Social Fours develop mechanisms for calling negative attention to themselves. The shyest of the Four subtypes. There's a shame about desiring, about "loving." Proust is filled with the social envy of the person dazzled by the "aristocracy," who has a passion for being "in", who wants to be included, to receive their favors. A feeling of "I'm nothing," "I'm ugly," "I'm silly." Fours in general want to absorb through their gaze, but this is especially true for the Social Four”
I think both of aforementioned citations are without any doubt correlated to the Fe-function in ego-block position: “Fe is generally associated with the ability to recognize and convey (i.e. make others experience) passions, moods, and emotional states, … , recognize and describe emotional interaction between people and groups, and build a sense of emotional unity.” - desertion is taken from this website:
We can conclude that So-4 enneagram subtype strives to share own emotions with others, in other words to evoke certain impressions in the public. It means that such individuals are focused on their emotional impact on others. This statement also corresponds to the description of the emotional aspect in the 2nd position, which is conscious, extroverted and subjective: “Second Emotions provoke the expression of reactions, showdown. They encourage acting in other people.” - https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/psychosophy-attitudinal-psyche/page/emotion
Now let’s discuss why IEI So-4 individuals may have the volitional aspect in the 4th position. Description of 4V: “The Fourth Will becomes weak-willed, waiting for decisions and active actions from others... Such individual can take the lead, but only if he is “assigned” by those around him, but hardly of his own free will, because he does not like to strain and bear responsibility too much. There is an opinion that the Fourth Wills have no ambitions - this is not so. But it is easier for them to realize their ambitions alone, without responsibility “for a common cause”. In addition, 4V can be “infected” with your dreams and plans with prolonged exposure”.
Aforesaid statement is almost identical to the definition of suggestive Se:
“He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.”
All these arguments indicate that IEI So-4 archetype can be not only an ExVx in attitudinal psyche typology system, but also an xExV.
Thanks for your attention !!!!
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Of course, some combinations are obviously not possible, but that absolutely doesn’t mean that we have to get rid of almost every correlations. Borders between various typology systems are not precise since each of them focuses on its own peculiar studies of human personality. This is the reason why sometimes it’s just impossible to amalgamate some typology methods to create a correlation between them.
In this article i want to talk about IEI so4 archetype and its combinations with types of attitudinal psyche method of typology.
First of all let’s emphasise that 4th enneagram type belongs to heart triad. This means that individuals who identify themselves with this enneatype can only be ethical types in socionics. Considering the fact that 4th enneagram type is also known as a withdrawn one, individuals who associate themselves with this enneatype are most likely to be introverts.
Now let’s dive deeper into details of social subtype. I want to quote a description from this website: “The social instinct motivates us to create relationships and care for the wellbeing of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for. When sensitive to the social instinct, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of anyone we may be in conflict with.”
Description of So-IV subtype by Claudio Naranjo: “Social Fours develop mechanisms for calling negative attention to themselves. The shyest of the Four subtypes. There's a shame about desiring, about "loving." Proust is filled with the social envy of the person dazzled by the "aristocracy," who has a passion for being "in", who wants to be included, to receive their favors. A feeling of "I'm nothing," "I'm ugly," "I'm silly." Fours in general want to absorb through their gaze, but this is especially true for the Social Four”
I think both of aforementioned citations are without any doubt correlated to the Fe-function in ego-block position: “Fe is generally associated with the ability to recognize and convey (i.e. make others experience) passions, moods, and emotional states, … , recognize and describe emotional interaction between people and groups, and build a sense of emotional unity.” - desertion is taken from this website:
We can conclude that So-4 enneagram subtype strives to share own emotions with others, in other words to evoke certain impressions in the public. It means that such individuals are focused on their emotional impact on others. This statement also corresponds to the description of the emotional aspect in the 2nd position, which is conscious, extroverted and subjective: “Second Emotions provoke the expression of reactions, showdown. They encourage acting in other people.” - https://wiki.personality-database.com/books/psychosophy-attitudinal-psyche/page/emotion
Now let’s discuss why IEI So-4 individuals may have the volitional aspect in the 4th position. Description of 4V: “The Fourth Will becomes weak-willed, waiting for decisions and active actions from others... Such individual can take the lead, but only if he is “assigned” by those around him, but hardly of his own free will, because he does not like to strain and bear responsibility too much. There is an opinion that the Fourth Wills have no ambitions - this is not so. But it is easier for them to realize their ambitions alone, without responsibility “for a common cause”. In addition, 4V can be “infected” with your dreams and plans with prolonged exposure”.
Aforesaid statement is almost identical to the definition of suggestive Se:
“He is additionally very indecisive. He may lack the ability to make important decisions, especially with regards to his own future. He may know what he wants to achieve out of life in a broad or long term sense, but will find it very difficult to set and finish the short term projects leading to it. In order to be able to act, he needs a tangible and definite stimulus from somebody well grounded in external reality and who has a clear picture of what must be done in a certain situation.”
All these arguments indicate that IEI So-4 archetype can be not only an ExVx in attitudinal psyche typology system, but also an xExV.
Thanks for your attention !!!!