I’m a junior executive in a big city, where the skyline is a mix of ancient churches and glass towers. My life revolves around tight schedules, endless meetings, and the constant pressure to climb the corporate ladder. Faith, for me, had become more of an afterthought—a relic of my childhood Sundays.
One winter evening, after another grueling day at work, I found myself rushing to catch the last subway train home. The city was unusually quiet, snowflakes swirling in the glow of street lamps, transforming the cityscape into a serene, almost magical scene.
As I neared the subway entrance on Fifth Avenue, I saw a man huddled against the cold, wrapped in a thin, tattered blanket. He looked up as I passed, his eyes filled with a profound sadness and desperation that stopped me in my tracks. Despite my exhaustion, something inside urged me to help him. I hesitated only for a moment before I approached him.
"Are you alright?" I asked, my voice gentle but filled with concern.
He shook his head, his eyes welling up with tears. "I haven't eaten in days," he murmured. "And I don't know where to go."
I felt a pang of guilt and compassion. Without thinking, I took him to the nearest diner, bought him a hot meal, and sat with him as he ate. His name was Thomas, and his story was one of unfortunate events—a lost job, a broken family, and a series of hardships that had left him homeless.
As we talked, I lost track of time. I didn’t realize how late it was until the diner began to close. I offered to help him find a shelter, but the streets were almost deserted, and the shelters were all full for the night.
Desperate to find a solution, I decided to take Thomas to a small church a few blocks away. It was a place I remembered from my childhood, a sanctuary I hoped might still offer refuge. We arrived at the church, and to my relief, the door was unlocked. We stepped inside, greeted by the warmth and the faint smell of incense.
Father Michael, the aging priest, greeted us with a kind smile. He listened to Thomas's story and offered him a room for the night, promising to help him find more permanent assistance in the morning. Relieved, I said my goodbyes and headed home, feeling a deep sense of peace.
The next morning, I was woken by the sound of my phone ringing incessantly. It was my colleague, frantically asking if I was alright. Confused, I turned on the news to see footage of a horrific accident—a subway train had derailed late last night on the line I usually took home. There were several casualties, and I realized with a shiver that I would have been on that train if I hadn’t stopped to help Thomas.
Stunned, I sat down, my mind racing. The urge to help Thomas, the unlocked church door, and the timing of the accident—it all seemed too coincidental. I visited the church later that day, needing to see Thomas and to speak with Father Michael.
When I arrived, Father Michael greeted me warmly. "Thomas is doing well," he said. "He's getting the help he needs."
I told Father Michael about the subway accident and how I felt an inexplicable pull to help Thomas, which ultimately saved my life. He listened quietly, a knowing look in his eyes.
"Sometimes," he said softly, "we are guided by forces beyond our understanding. Your act of kindness was a blessing for both you and Thomas."
I nodded, tears in my eyes. From that day on, my faith was rekindled. I realized that miracles don’t always come as grand gestures but often as small, seemingly insignificant acts of compassion that ripple outwards in ways we can't always see. My encounter with Thomas on that snowy night had changed my life, reminding me of the power of kindness and the mysterious ways in which we are all connected.

Hey there, I'm Knight(21M) and as the title states I'm looking to start up a longterm fantasy adventure rp with someone! I've been RPing for nearly 10 years now at this point, having gotten my start in Warrior Cats forums back in the day and then found myself in the TTRPG community and have branched from there. I don't have any specific plots in mind, as I love to story/world build alongside a roleplay partner so that we both are getting what we want out of a roleplay in all respects. I'm very interested in romance rp, be it wholesome, slowburn, Enemies to Lovers, Love at First Sight, what have you, though I do admit that rivalry slowburn is my favorite. I'm really only interested in OCxOC pairings, no hate to CC enjoyers ofc. With those basics out of the way, time to get into what I hope to provide, what I'm looking for, and maybe some common interests that could be relevant to a rp but likely will just be used to nerd out about OOC.
A bit about me and what I hope to provide:

1. I'd consider myself literate and always shoot for at LEAST a paragraph in my responses, but often shoot for two or three as a standard post. Of course this can deviate to be even more depending on the scene, and I highly doubt anything could ever make me write less than 3 sentences.
2. I'm very flexible with schedules! Currently(though certainly not permanently) I don't have much going on myself, so I'm capable of responding at most times throughout the day.
3. I'd also consider myself to be a friendly person. I love OOC talks, sharing memes, and just general social interaction.

What I'm looking for in a partner:

1. (This one is a nice to have, not a requirement) I really prefer to rp with folks inside my age range(20-25 or so). Since I like to interact outside of rp, I find it more enjoyable to do so with folks closer to my age. (This is a requirement) I do not have any interest roleplaying with minors.
2. I'd really appreciate Semi-lit to Literacy. I don't mind if you're not super into multi-paragraph posts, but I can't really get invested with one liners.
3. Honesty! In my experience as a roleplayer, the most successful rps are those where both parties are honest every step of the way. Didn't like an interaction, things aren't going the way you want them to, even something small like you're not a fan of a character reference? Please do not hesitate to let me know! I truly respect criticism and honest requests.
4. Uses either human-made art or written descriptions for muse refs! AI art is unappealing(not to mention immoral) to me, and I'm not really comfortable using real people as references.(Actor claims are ok alongside a description or reference!)

Some sources/media/etc I'm interested in:

1. Overwatch 2(I can not stand blizzard. I am unfortunately addicted to playing tank. This likely won't be relevant to any rp I'm interested in, but I would love to be able to complain about it w someone)
2. DND/PathfindeTTRPGs/Baldurs Gate 3
3. FFXIV(I am not completely current yet, but I'm about a quarter way through endwalker at the moment!)
4. Dark Souls 3/Elden Ring/Niche Lore from the Souls Series
5. Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans
6. Game of Thrones(I have not read the books, something I really need to fix)
7. Warhammer Fantasy/40k(but in like... the "THE INDOMINITABLE HUMAN SPIRIT!" way, not the "Ermmmm.... acskually, you can't do/have [reasonable fantasy request] because [random side note in a magazine published 20 years ago]" way.)
8. And a long list of other fantasy adjacent content! Please feel free to bring up anything you're interested in, maybe I've heard of it, maybe I even forgot to list it here, either way I love to talk with people about their interests!

If you feel like we could be a good fit as rp partners, please do not hesitate to send me a chat! I'd love to chat with you about getting a story up and running.

I break down crying every few minutes. I can handle the pressure, I don’t have that much social anxiety. But it’s a job with many loud noises and I guess in the excitement of finally getting hired I forgot I have very sensitive hearing. After the first day there I noticed a more high pitched ringing in my ears that I don’t usually have. I’m really hoping it’s not permanent, and I want to keep working here but I don’t want to risk it getting worse. However, if I quit I might have just given myself tinnitus for nothing. I don’t know how to tell my parents I want to quit. I’ve been looking forward to start woking here and it’s all they talk about. I feel so useless

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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Hi, I was lately thinking about my next run focused on AoE Tentacle control.
Idea is grouping up enemies and stun lock them..
This requires 3 characters, with 1 partial-ilithid..
Character 1: Partial Ilithid with Black Hole ability (pull all enemies in 1 place)
Character 2: Reverberation Storm Sorc. with Gloves of Belligerent Skies and Spineshudder Amulet, casting Call Lightning (adding 4 stacks of Reverberation)
Character 3: Wizard with Boots of Stormy Clamour (reverbetation upon condition), Corruscation Ring (Spell damage while illuminated applies Radiating Orb).. Casting Evard's Black Tentacles.
Character 4: Adding Area (Cloud of Daggers, Moonbeam, Hunger of Hadar).
This gives total 6 stacks of Reverberation which knocks enemies prone.. To get up, you get to move but tentacles restrain enemies.. and since reverberation lowers Str / Dex / Con it lower chance to save from being restrained.
Would this lock everyone in permanent prone assuming they are not immune to thunder damage and reverberation?

Let's say, I have [[The One Ring]] or [[Indominus Rex, Alpha]] I Have [[Phyrexian Metamorph]] in my hand. If I cast/play it and let it enter the battlefield as a copy of one of the above permanents, will their ETB abilities work? (As it turned out, I don’t understand the “as it entrs” moment)

The challenge is to come up with Artist(s) of your choosing and also come up with any 10 songs for them. The catch to this challenge is that, there cant be more than 10 songs for the Artists of your choosing. These songs are songs that u would love to have in Fortnite Festival, there also cant be any copying what someone has already come up with, so if someone already picked it or its already in Fortnite than u have to pick something else. U can pick as many Artists u want and it doesnt have to be 10 songs exactly but it cant be more than 10.
Template Song-Artist Here's an example of songs I've come up with ⬇️⬇️⬇️
The Final Countdown-Europe
Scatman(Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop)-Scatman John
Blue(Da Be Dee)-Eiffel 65, Gabry Ponte
Ring Ring-Chase B, Travis Scott, Don Toliver, Quavo & Ty Dolla $ign
Link Up-Metro Boomin, Don Toliver & Wizkid (feat. BEAM & Toian)
Too Many Nights-Metro Boomin (feat. Don Toliver & Future)
Die For Me-Post Malone (feat. Future & Halsey)
Mourning-Post Malone
My House-Flo Rida
Wild Stallions-Stallion
Fight with the Devil-Hollow Ground
Miss You To Death-Cauldron
Sex Type Thing-Stone Temple Pilots
Kryptonite-3 Doors Down
Breakfast In America-Supertramp
Run To You-Bryan Adams
Dirty Laundry-Don Henley
Southstreet Brotherhood-Ambush
Ace Of Spades-Motorhead
Assault Attack-Michael Schenker Group
(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight- Cutting Crew
Running In The 90s-Max Coveri
Angels Don't Kill- Children Of Bodom
Angel Witch-Angel Witch
Airborne-Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast
Rusty Cage-Soundgarden
Friction-B'z
Going Though Changes-Army Of Me
Stand and Deliver-Adam & The Ants
Closer-Lacuna Coil
Until You Leave- Permanent ME
Road Racin-Riot
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Back In Black-AC/DC
Shoot to Thrill-AC/DC
You Shook Me All Night-AC/DC
Sharp Dressed Man-ZZ TOP
Gimme All Your Lovin-ZZ TOP
La Grange-ZZ TOP
Gaps In The Armoire-Ghost Atlas
Lesser Gods-Ghost Atlas
In The House Of Leaves-Ghost Atlas
Seeker-Ghost Atlas
Cry Wolf-Ghost Atlas
Legs-Ghost Atlas
Badlands-Ghost Atlas
Memories-Dreamwake
Midnight Rain-Dreamwake
Luna-Dreamwake
Paradise-Dreamwake
Kaizen-Dreamwake
Master Of Puppets-Metallica
Enter Sandman-Metallica
Rock of Ages-Def Leppard
Photograph-Def Leppard
Looks That Kill-Motley Crue
Live Wire-Motley Crue
Kickstart My Heart-Motley Crue
Dr Feelgood-Motley Crue
Crazy Babies-Ozzy Osbourne
Believer-Ozzy Osbourne
Bark At The Moon-Ozzy Osbourne
Take What You Want-Ozzy Osbourne, Travis Scott, Post Malone
Your Love-The Outfield
Bad Case Of Loving You-Robert Palmer
Let Me Be Your Superhero-Smash Into Pieces
Higher-Smash Into Pieces
The Tide-Smash Into Pieces
Freight Train-Smash Into Pieces
Throne-Smash Into Pieces
Wake Up-Smash Into Pieces
Adieu-Rammstein
Engel-Rammstein
Sonne-Rammstein
Radio-Rammstein
Du Hast-Rammstein
That's All-Genesis
Last Jedi Knight-Star Wars parody song
Dark Side Light Side-Star Wars song
Ari Ari-Bloodywood
Machi Bhasad-Bloodywood
Gaddaar-Bloodywood
Yaad-Bloodywood
Jee Veerey-Bloodywood
Endurant-Bloodywood
The Eagle Flies Alone-ARCH ENEMY
War Enemy-ARCH ENEMY
War Pigs-Black Sabbath
Iron Man-Black Sabbath
Paranoid-Black Sabbath
Powerless-Linkin Park
What I've Done-Linkin Park
Ruby-Kaiser Chiefs
Welcome to the Jungle-Guns N Roses
Paradise City-Guns N Roses
Ritual-Ghost
Mary On A Cross-Ghost
Elizabeth-Ghost
Show me the way-Black Tide
Don't believe-Seether
Walk Away from the Sun-Seether
6 Gun Quota-Seether
Fake It-Seether
Eyes of the Devil-Seether
Show me the way-Seether
Train kept a rollin'-Aerosmith
Sweet Emotion-Aerosmith
Love in an Elevator-Aerosmith
Mama Kin-Aerosmith
Walk this way-Aerosmith(feat. DMC)
Pink Shoe Laces-The Chordettes
Children Of Heaven-Sword
Flawed Design-ALESTI
Anomaly-I See Stars
If Hatsune Miku ever comes to the Festival these are songs I expect to see

1. Senbonzakura-Hatsune Miku
2. Sadistic Music Factory-Hatsune Miku
3. Online Game Addicts-Hatsune Miku
4. Sweet Devil-Hatsune Miku
5. 39Music!-Hatsune Miku
6. Yellow-Hatsune Miku
7. Clover Club-Hatsune Miku
8. Two Sided Lovers-Hatsune Miku
9. World is Mine-Hatsune Miku
10. Miku Night Fever-Hatsune Miku

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

If you havent seen it warehouse 13 is basically the scp foundation that came out in the 90's that follows 3 (later 6) agents who go out and bag and tag supernatural objects and bring them back to the warehouse where they document and shelf them. Its really fun.
But one season a villain actually succeeds in destroying the warehouse, destroying pandoras box and killing a few cast members. In order to save everyone artie turns back time and helps stops the bomb that destroys everything. But it comes with a cost. Because he used time travel the next seasons villain is someone hellbent on destroying everything he built and saved. And hes very effecient at his goal. Very. Hes always a step ahead of the team. Hes brutal. And he doesnt stop. And the twist happens. Turns out he doesnt exsists. Instead it was all artie. It was artie using a shapeshifting ring. Or more accurately a split personality created as a price to use time travel.
The way it was built up and revealed was just absolutely perfect and heartbreaking. And had true lasting effect on the show (artie permanently killed a main character during the reveal).

https://imgur.com/a/jwhvURJ
I'm "new" and i just finished levelling all my archetypes and getting all the mythic relic fragments from Dwell(except one. consumable duration had something personal against me i guess), so i just made my first build. which is 80% CDR Quick Draw because i'm a sucker for fan firing revolvers in shooters.
I went with Invoker primary because of it's skill dmg boost and skill cooldown reducing perks since i didn't wanna use engineer because then i would just end up using overclocked turrets permanently and now it's not a Quick Draw build anymore.
For my weapons went with Monolith because exposed means more dmg, nebula because corrosive means more dmg, my melee i can't find anything to help boost quick draw so irrelevant, and my 4th ring is kinda flex. i have excess coil right now in case i will actually need that survivability. if i feel fine without it will just change to shaed ring for 15% more skill damage(i dont feel confident in keeping 4 stacks of zania's malice up constantly), or maybe dull steel ring(i spent the last 50 hours playing on light roll with 30% evade distance. medium roll feels S L O W now).
Now the reason for the post... i got no idea what other traits to use, i'm thinking i will just end up using Amplitude to boost Way of Kaeula's range(i wish it increased Quick Draw's range too) and Spirit for more mod power. last 5 again dunno, maybe Chakra for more monolith mod duration.
If you've read all this, thank you

My (18m) mom is psychotic, but for whatever reason nobody in my family gives a shit. She has always been a little crazy (she believes in every conspiracy theory in the book), but she didn’t really go off the deep end until my dad divorced her when I was 4. Since then, she has gotten progressively crazier to an unmanageable level. I could write an epic just filled with everything she’s done that’s crazy, but I will just hit the highlights.

• when I was in kindergarten, she told me on the way home from school that Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and everything in between were not real.
• when I was a child, she constantly filled my head with the idea that I was going to be tortured and killed in the future for being a Christian. She also made it seem like I was going to go to hell if I sinned at all. I used to shower and bathe at the hottest temperature possible as a kid because i wanted to get prepared for hell.
• when I was 8 years old, she joined a cult (or pseudo religion, or whatever you want to call it) called Hebrew Roots. The basic premise was Judaism plus Jesus, but with no grace. From 8 years old and on she had me follow the rules of Judaism (rest on Friday and Saturday, don’t eat certain foods, etc,) even though I am not Jewish.
• since I was 8, she has taken me on numerous “vacations” which mostly consisted of visiting a friend in her religion (most notably a Native American chief) and studying the Old Testament for 10-12 hours a day.
• my sister used to live with my mom. For her 21st birthday, she “wore a revealing dress and went to the club on a Friday night (sabbath)” my mom kicked her out of the house for this, and she was homeless for some time.
• she said to me “where did we go wrong with you?” Because I said I didn’t like to cook (not in a joking way)
• she constantly pitted me against my dad when I was a kid, from sending him an email to “not persecute my religion”, to telling me my brother chose my dad and my sister chose her, and I would have to choose a side
• she constantly has childlike temper tantrums and meltdowns for no reason. I always have to comfort her, and most of my life I have felt like I had to be a parent to her instead of the other way around -she gets upset at anything and everything “non-biblical”
• one time, I wasn’t showing just enough excitement about what she was talking about (I think Old Testament numerals) and she started to sob and recount everything bad that has ever happened to her (everything from my dad divorcing her to her high school boyfriend cheating on her)
• one time, she saw MF DOOM rings I had put in the Amazon shopping cart, and said that I was “opening a portal to the spirit world”
• I started seeing a therapist about a year and a half ago, and she has probably said 25 plus times that she “respects confidentiality.” Then, in a recent vacation, she had a meltdown when I refused to share what I talked to my therapist about, and told my dad I “have no interest in having a relationship” with her.

I live with my dad, and since we moved to St. Louis from fl 5 years ago, I have not seen my mom that much (thankfully). The problem is, all my close family are pushing me to be nice and accept my mom for who she is. My dad and brother both think I am overreacting when I say I don’t want to see her. This means I am effectively permanently stuck with being friendly with my mom, as I do not want to alienate my other family members. I hate that someone can do so much shit to you and get off scot free.

In case this is of any interest to anyone.
I'm 50 levels in to a Druid playthrough and it's been one the best times I've ever had in Skyrim. So I figured I'd list the mods I'm using for it and why--just the ones that give the feel and flavor, not graphic or combat overhauls or anything else.
Concept: A Druid, protector and defender of nature and the natural world. Not a fan of cities, less inclined to fire magic due to its destructive nature. Due to this I applied certain restrictions: no conjuring undead, no allying with Daedra, no missions that are rooted in harming the natural world (use the pilgrim to heal the Gildergreen, not Nettlebane, etc). For race, of course, I went with Bosmer, being a good thematic choice. For skills I focused largely on Archery, Conjuration (see below), Alchemy, One Handed, Restoration, and Alteration. I limited the use of Shouts to those that fit the build--Aura Whisper, Call Storm, Kyne's Peace, etc. I didn't tend to carry weapons much and used Bound Sword and Bound Bow quite a bit (along with a mod that made them green for that Druid look) until I could craft a dragonbone bow that outstripped damage on the bound bow dramatically. I started as a hunter in Live Another Life.
On to the mods!
1) Ordinator: the perk overhaul is one I love, and it gives some great perks for Druids. For example at Speech 50 you can take Speak With Animals, allowing you to tame and keep an animal follower. None of that 60 second racial ability foolishess.
2) Mannaz - Integrated Races of Skyrim: this overhaul improves racial abilities dramatically in a fair way. Check its description for more--worked well for my build and earned a permanent place in my mod list.
3) Freyr - Integrated Standing Stone Overhaul: Designed to work with Mannaz, it alters the way standing stones work to improve and alter racial abilities. Its synergy with Mannaz's Bosmer abilities really gave a great Druid vibe to the hawk-based powers and had me feeling like an ally of the natural world
4) Forgotten Magic Redone: While I also use Odin, Apocalypse, and Triumvirate, FMR gave some excellent Druid spells, such as Wolf Pack and Veil of Nature; these spells can level up! Wolf Pack was especially fun once I found a ring that allowed me to summon four wolves at once.
5) Wrath of Nature: Path of the Druid: What more can I say. Earning the ability to shape shift into a wolf, bear, tiger, or spriggan is about as Druidic as it gets. At higher levels I used it less and less, except for the wolf form, which runs at a high speed and meant I didn't need to bother with a horse.
6) DX Druid Armor: Honestly, I didn't find it overly sexualized like I thought it might be. In game it came across as just a great Druid look. It's also the reason I leveled up Smithing, as periodically I'd craft a new set for better stats as the game went along.
7) Song of the Green: Auri is a fantastic Druid follower. Recommended.
8) Anna's Druid Conjuration: If you're going to conjure, but no undead or Dremora, this is the mod you want. So good--summon elk, bears, wolves, spriggans, stags, etc.
9) Wintersun: being a follower of Kynareth just made complete sense, of course.
So how'd it all fit together?
A lot of fun. I use mods like Warzones to ensure Skyrim really is at war, and there was a special delight in charging into battle in Wolf or Spriggan form (Wrath of Nature) along with a conjured pack of wolves (FMR) and a bear (Ordinator's Speak with Animals perk) it really felt like nature was rising up and joining the fight. I used Survival Mode and Campfire for a while, and while I loved making camp and crafting, the stamina hit from needing rest got annoying after a while so I stopped. I did find Speak with Animals worked on the Chaurus, so for a while I had one in tow, and got to watch it be a pain in the ass for grounded dragons rather than for me.
Even with the extra abilities the game remained challenging (played on Master), but I had a lot to do--didn't even buy Breezehome until level 45, or visit High Hrothgar until the same time, but I did use the LC_BuildYourOwnNobleHouse mod to slowly build a town in the wilds of Falkreath, with my head canon being a Druid-lead back to nature community. Sadly you can't choose a god for the temple, but meh.
I've played a lot of builds, from two-hand, heavy armor warriors to sneaky thief/assassins to pure mages, but I had more fun with this Druid build than with any other. At this point I'm at 100 Alteration, Light Armor and One Handed, and mid 90s for Archery, around 70 for Conjuration and haven't yet hit that "hmm, what will my next build be..." phase.
If you're thinking of playing a Druid, I really think this mod list is a fantastic start to a really fun playthrough.

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
Chapter 241: Until Now
The doors to the Hartzwiese Adventurer’s Guild opened.
Before, the sound of raucous laughter could be heard flooding the street outside, filling the quiet of a spring night with all the debauchery the local drunkards had to offer.
Despite the halls of adventurers not being formal drinking establishments, those within were ready to compete in boisterousness with all the taverns, inns and pubs of the town combined. And also win. Handily.
And yet–
The moment the doors parted and I stepped within, a hush as quiet as any grave fell over its inhabitants.
A woman balancing with her derrière upon the head of another became still, the alcohol in her cup the only movement as it dribbled onto a stunned face below her.
A man slurping from the communal cauldron stared wordlessly, the stew pouring in, and then out of his mouth as the muscles of his throat forgot the means to swallow.
A bartender asleep upon a row of kegs quietly rose, the sudden din of silence waking him where the sound of debauchery and those drinking from the taps beside him had failed.
Here, there, and everywhere, eyes widened as the sudden silence was filled with the sounds of my footsteps as I strolled past, my loyal handmaiden and my brother’s attendant in my wake.
And also–
Mreow.
Mrewowow.
Meww.
Cats.
Tabby cats.
Calico cats.
Ragdoll cats.
Cats with twirly whiskers. Cats with puffy faces. Cats with slightly rounded ears.
Behind me, skipping around my legs while taking turns to sit upon my shoulders and very occasionally my head, were a legion of cats of various shapes, sizes and colours.
But no matter the springiness of their whiskers, the shine of their coat or the liveliness of their tails, one thing to bring them all together was the anarchy they caused.
This was no neat line of ducklings following after their mother.
This was a barbarian horde.
With no sense of organisation other than a shared drive to claim everything as their own, they immediately skipped amidst the stunned adventurers, scavenging for all the copious scraps while still turning their noses away from the alcohol forming sticky traps upon the floor.
Saying nothing, I allowed their demanding cries to fill up the hall as I swept forwards, pausing before a wall plastered from end to end with faded notices and requests long gone unanswered.
One by one, I systemically tore every request featuring a crudely drawn image of a cat, gathering into my arms a pile of parchment large enough to reach my chin.
Then, I made my way to the wooden desk.
A receptionist waited with a smile at the ready.
“Greetings! Welcome to the Hartzwiese branch of the Adventurer’s Guild. I see you’ve removed several notices from the–”
Poomph.
Silenced but unperturbed, this latest clone watched as I dropped the stack of requests onto her desk, before promptly topping off the stack with a copper ring.
“Do what must be done,” I said, my voice defiant. “I am ready.”
The receptionist answered me with a smile more permanent than the wall the notices were torn from.
A moment later–
“[Identify].”
A green hue appeared in her clasped palms as she assessed the ring.
“Juliette. B-rank. Your registered branch is Reitzlake.”
The sound of several cups clattered against the floor.
“Welcome again to Hartzwiese. I see from your commission history that you have an extraordinary amount of completions for recovering lost cats. May I assume the significant number of cats now roaming the branch hall relate to the notices removed from the wall?”
I pursed my quivering lips.
“Maybe.”
“Wonderful. And how many cats is it that you’ve rescued?”
“... Lots.”
“I see. Please give me a moment while I confirm the requirements of our commissions.”
The receptionist swiftly retrieved a stack of parchment from a drawer.
As she flicked through, her eyes simultaneously went to every cat roaming, napping and clawing in the hall. A skill not even monstrous overseers from the abyss with their dozens of eyestalks could match. But that’s only to be expected.
Wherever these receptionists were found, it was from a level deeper than any monster dared roam.
Eventually, she gave a nod.
“Thank you for waiting. There appears to be an excess of cats in relation to the number of commissions we have available. We’ll endeavour to ensure that every cat is rehomed at the earliest opportunity through our partner agencies and charities. But unfortunately, I can only provide official acknowledgement for cats rescued through a formal commission.”
I sucked in a deep breath, hoping that patience was one of the things I accidentally inhaled.
“Fine. And how many commissions does that end up being, then? … 10? 15?”
The receptionist flicked through her bundle of parchments once more.
“94.”
“... Excuse me?”
“I can confirm the successful completion of 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions. Congratulations. This is a new record, breaking what appears to be one earlier set by yourself. A remarkable achievement befitting a B-rank member of the guild.”
The receptionist’s professional smile never wavered.
I thought that would be the worst of it.
But then–
She slowly brought her hands together … and started applauding.
It was the leak which broke the dam.
At once, she was joined by all who were present to witness this crowning moment of regret.
I turned around in time to see a riot in motion.
“W-Wooooooooooo!!!!”
“In … Incredible …”
“A new record … I … I heard it was broken in Trierport … to think I’d witness it broken again!”
“A B-rank adventurer … ?! Where … Where did she come from … ?!”
There was no polite, respectful applause here.
It was the wild cheering of a crowd at a tournament. The whooping cries of theatregoers calling for an encore. The acclaim of my father as he elbowed others to delight in the poetry I’d written when I was 6 and thus now regularly attempted to burn.
Everywhere I turned, I saw and heard the acclaim mixed with shouts of horror as mugs of alcohol were spilled on purpose and by accident. The layabouts stomped on the floor, doing their best to murder decorum under the strain of unbridled emotion.
Only a few falling teardrops formed any hint of more dignified revelry, the glimmer of admiration running down cheeks as sniffles were hidden amidst the raucous cheering.
And then I bore witness to the most morbid sight.
Like a tidal wave of soiled clothes and snotty faces, they suddenly came as one, hands reaching out for me with dripping mugs still in their grips. Horror struck at my soul. And unlike a farmer who’d scarpered into the night, I had nobody who could heal a wound caused by hooligans accepting me as their own.
“A-Amazing!! Take my drink! Take anyone’s drink!!”
“So many cats rescued … even my allergies can’t believe it!”
“My gods, it’s a legend! An adventurer among adventurers!”
This.
This right here.
This was the lowest point of my life … were I not an unparalleled genius.
“Oho … ohoho …”
At once, the wave halted.
Faces which were lit up in unabashed delight turned to looks of mild confusion against the tinkling music of my laughter.
They needed to cycle through the expressions until they reached horror and shame.
“Ohhohohohohohoho!!”
… For I was no drunkard seeking to join their ranks!
No … I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea!
And that meant every action I took, every word I spoke, and every cat I saved was for a reason beyond the hopes and dreams these hoodlums had of wanton debauchery and rusting swords!
Indeed!
A lesser princess than I may slink away into the night, cowed by the utter shame, humiliation and disgrace of completing so many F-ranked requests that I somehow broke a record I’d only just set!
But I was made of greater things!
Of schemes and subterfuges so deep that it would take too long to explain! The plots I weaved were a silken web more intricate than any cogs which made up Coppelia as she doubled up, desperately trying to stop herself from succumbing to more pain from laughter!
And that meant with every cat request now denied to these louts … they would finally do some work!
“Ohoho … ohohohohoho!! Behold and be afraid! Witness before you the coming of a new dawn, here to lift you from your days of boundless reverie! Unfurl the shutters and gaze upon a radiance so pure it brands your dallying minds! The scorching sun has come to test the snail’s back, and all that your bleary eyes see is a great salt lake to devour you whole! Shrivel as you cling upon the sweat which drips upon your brow, for that is the proof you’re yet alive!”
A sudden silence met my proclamation of their coming ordeal.
And then–
“Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
“I don’t understand! But what a speech!”
“If she can do it, so can we!”
I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my smile.
“Ohhhohohohohohohoho … !”
Here it was!
Operation: Gainful Employment!
An entirely new strategy, as bold as it was uncharted!
By removing what was surely the vast majority of missing cat quests available to the adventurers of this town, they would have no choice, utterly none whatsoever, but to engage in actual work! The type of work adventurers openly advertised themselves as doing!
Monster subjugation! Crime prevention! Fetching artifacts from hidden dungeons and then succumbing to their wounds at the entrance while the Royal Treasury pocketed the treasure!
Yes, this was clearly a highly experimental tactic.
But what was I, if not a bastion of creativity?
At the very least, I utterly refused to accept the status quo! An organisation dedicated exclusively to rescuing lost cats or elbowing into my kingdom’s sovereign affairs was no good to me!
Thus … I could not cower like some towngirl nauseous from the smell of their revelry.
Instead, I would squeeze the Adventurer’s Guild dry until the day I replaced them with an army of trained poodles. Until that joyous day, I could never tear my eyes away when they waited to be robbed.
To do so was more than a dereliction of duty …
Why, I’d be an accomplice to their drunken escapades!
My vow remained unchanged. For my goal, I would brave any indignity. The ring I was hoping the receptionist would forget to return was proof of that.
And thus–
I stood tall as a summer reed, proud in the knowledge that I had no need to feel even an inkling of embarrassment over completing 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions! …
“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.”
“S-Stop at once! You are not to laugh!”
“Pffffttt~”
“C-Coppelia!!”
Clearly not seeing the angel of self-sacrifice who I was, Coppelia held one hand tightly around her mouth. Even so, she failed to stop either the sound of her amusement or the tears falling from her eyes.
My only salvation was that it came at significant cost to her. Even now, she careened between laughter and painful regret.
I decided to offer both her and myself mercy.
Turning to the receptionist, I found a modest pouch already waiting upon the wooden desk. As well as a copper ring waiting beside it.
“Thank you for your service to the Adventurer’s Guild,” said the receptionist, her professional smile undaunted by the commotion. “Your total remuneration is 102 gold crowns, 7 silver crowns and 9 copper crowns. I’ve taken the liberty to compile all your separate payments together.”
I took the pouch and ignored the ring.
The receptionist pushed the ring forwards.
A long moment later, I collected it, uncertain what a receptionist would do if I tossed it into the communal cauldron, but knowing it would somehow still end up on my finger regardless.
With my head held high, I bravely ignored the chorus of voices unknowingly cheering for their own hardship as I swept past. Renewed tears and applause filled the hall. A few cats attempted to follow me. I stopped to shoo them away.
And then I was outside, the door closing behind me.
“... Goodness, that was quite the sight,” said Renise with a bemused smile. “It reminded me somewhat of the inns of Reitzlake’s docks. I wonder if all the halls of adventurers are like that, or merely those which you frequent?”
“Please don’t insinuate I’m responsible for the debauchery which occurs wherever the Adventurer’s Guild is concerned. That’s something I can claim no credit for.”
“You say that … but to me, it seems that you caused quite a stir. That really is a remarkable number of cats you rescued, after all. Even I can tell that 94 simultaneous F-ranked commissions–”
“Miss Renise.”
The maid’s smile wavered against whatever fatigued expression I was making.
A moment later, it fell away entirely as she switched to her role as my brother’s attendant and the leader of whatever scoundrels he’d charged her with herding.
“... Yes, I suppose there’s time for idle conversation later. There’s a guardhouse nearby. We should report on all that’s happened tonight.”
I gave a nod of agreement.
Hopefully, the baroness hadn’t woken from her stupor yet. But if she had, I was certain the single portrait of myself I’d returned to the wall of her gallery to smile down at her gagged and bound state would calm her nerves.
Renise hummed towards the direction of Hartzwiese’s centre, before returning her attention to me.
“If you wish to keep your identity incognito, I can see guards sent to where they’re needed using my own authority, and arrange for the appropriate seizure of the goods and crowns we’ve discovered.”
I beamed at once.
My, so prudent! It’s little wonder she was chosen by Roland!
“A judicious offer. And one I’ll accept gladly, providing the burden isn’t too severe.”
“This is merely an administrative task, and little burden compared to what both yourself and Miss Coppelia regularly perform. In any event, it is only efficient. I expect I’ll be spending a significant amount of time at the baroness’s farmstead. It is quite extensive. If possible, I would like to make use of it for Rose House. I imagine having such a facility close to the Granholtz border would have its uses.”
I nodded, already forgetting the barn’s existence.
“I encourage you to use your discretion as required. My brother has put his trust in you, and so I both expect and know that you shall not disappoint in furthering the kingdom’s prosperity.”
The young woman smiled. One filled with appreciation, but also lacking ambition.
Good.
An excellent combination as far as retainers were concerned.
“Thank you. Although I worry you place too much trust in my abilities. In truth, those like Baroness Arisa would have made for a greater asset to the kingdom. Her resourcefulness must be acknowledged.”
“It is not resourcefulness my kingdom requires. It is loyalty. And hers is a pit so empty it drains others.”
“That’s true. But at least we were able to acquire some useful things from her nonetheless.”
Renise pulled out a tiny vial from the belt around her thigh.
A golden liquid was stored within, glimmering with an unnatural light.
“These were in her chamber,” she said, her eyes lacking emotion as she surveyed the bright liquid. “When we met, she actually attempted to purchase my loyalty with this.”
“A suspect vial. How quaint. And what miracle did she promise?”
“One that would wake my parents from their curse of eternal slumber.”
“... And is it?”
“I don’t believe so, no. This is one of many identical vials I found in her chamber’s desk drawer. All prominently labelled with instructions to only drink as required to stave off the effects of bloating.”
Renise returned the vial to her belt with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“It’s still useful,” she admitted. “But just not for what I require.”
I gave a simple nod as my reply.
Nothing else needed to be said.
She hoped to see her parents wake from their prison of dormancy. An understandable wish. And one I wasn’t required to supplement with the comment that no pair named the Smuggler King and the Smuggler Queen were likely to receive as light a sentence as their daughter.
I could not speak on behalf of Roland. Although I imagined that as a kind man, he would prefer not to pass judgements which were total. But as the Crown Prince, he did not have the luxury of kindness.
It would take much to change their fate.
But perhaps that’s why Renise was here, still proving true, and not accepting stomach ailment potions from a baroness.
A moment of silence followed.
Renise gave a short sigh. And that was that.
She set her eyes on the task ahead–at least until whatever words she’d parted her mouth to say were interrupted by Coppelia’s humming instead.
“Sooooooooooooooo … you just want to wake up two people eternally sleeping, right?”
A small smile met her optimistic voice.
“If a cure were readily available, I’m certain I would have found it by now. I believe one might be possible, but it would take skill and ingredients beyond any apothecary I know of.”
“Well, sure, you could go that way. But what about going straight to the source instead?”
“The source?”
“Sure. They’re asleep, right? So just ask the one in charge of where they are now.”
“I’m … not quite sure I follow?”
Coppelia clapped her hands together and beamed.
“The Spring Court is the realm of dreams. Chances are, they must have shown their faces around a few times by now. If you ask the Spring Queen nicely, she might do you a favour.”
“The Spring Queen? … The fae?”
“Mmh~ luckily, we have someone with connections here!”
Renise was startled out of her reply.
It was nothing compared to me. The one being pointed at.
“Coppelia!” I said, truly aghast at the suggestion. “The fae are not to be taken lightly. Why, I still have nightmares about my conversation with the Winter Queen! I learned a side to royalty that day which I shall never forget … and I’m quite poorer for it!”
“You met … the Winter Queen?” asked Renise, her eyes suddenly wide.
“Unfortunately, yes, but I had zero intention of meeting her, and I’ve just as little intention of meeting any other fae as well. Including the Spring Queen.”
I waved away the coming query to declare what was just as important as my lack of enthusiasm.
“Besides, I’ve not the foggiest idea how I would even hope to use these supposed connections I have.”
“Oh, that’s the easy bit,” said Coppelia, her casual disregard for what counted as ‘easy’ more terrifying than any lout I’d met today. “The hard part is getting them to do what you want. But meeting them? The fae are creatures of stories. If the time is right, they’ll speak to you–one way or another.”
“Then they must book an appointment. One which I can formally reject.”
“I mean, I don’t think you have much choice. You didn’t last time, right?”
“The last time, I was sat beside the Winter Queen’s crown. I see no fae artifacts to hook me away. And that means utterly no scenario in which I could be abducted without my express–”
I suddenly stopped, clasping my hands around my mouth.
A moment later, I raised my arms in a martial art I’d just invented, turning repeatedly on the spot.
Renise blinked at me.
“Excuse me, but what are–”
“Shhshhshh!!”
I paused, gazing intently around at the quiet, dark streets of Hartzwiese, all the while ignoring Coppelia’s giggling at my near miss.
That … That was close!
“O-Oho … oho … I almost invited something terrible. Truly, it’s perhaps best not to needlessly voice things which Fae Queens and their deviant brand of magic could use …”
Coppelia nodded at me, as proud as she was clearly disappointed.
“You’re lucky. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d have snagged you right there and then.”
“No. If the Spring Queen had a sense of humour, she’d wait until–”
Click.
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This is for us normies who don’t want to sift through a hundred youtube videos just to figure out basic information that should be readily available. This guide is designed for people who are new to modding.
This LLO follows Brxsie’s model. For more detailed info on categorization refer to their reddit post.
You can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP.
Key:
*= my personal notes explaining what a mod does or why I added it
e.g. = extra examples of popular mods that should be placed in that category
Blurb
(skip this section if you want the quick version of this post)
Hi everyone; I’m not a modder nor a PC player, but I was desperate to figure out how to safely load my game with reasonable lore-friendly updates. Every LLO guide I’ve found so far has either been outdated, contradictory to other sources, does not specify which mods fall under what category, is way too vague, or way too specific. The mods I’ve listed here should be easily searchable on the recently updated Xbox creations menu so that any Xbox player can easily copy this list. Originally, I was just recording my LLO for my own personal use, but I figured this could help people who don’t have the time to put in as much research as I have.
If you are brand new to modding, vanilla+ means that you want to stay faithful to the original game as much as possible while upgrading the look of your Skyrim world and making a few convenient tweaks. The least “true to the original game” mod on this list is convenient horses. In my experience so far, this LLO plays just as smoothly as vanilla Skyrim.
Unless I wrote a note next to the mod stating otherwise, all of these mods are independent of one another, except for: divine atmosphere, divine atmosphere snowflake edit, and realistic snowflakes. If you like the ugly fractal snowflakes in divine atmosphere then don’t bother with the other two mods, but if not, you need the vanilla snowflake edit and the snowflake texture mod to go together. Therefore, you can leave out any mod on this list that you don’t want except for USSEP), and the game will function normally.
To customize settings of mods while in-game, go to magic -> powers. “Equip” the mod you want to change and press RB once out of the menu. This is relevant to divine atmospheres, divine interiors, flute finder, convenient horses, and some dialogue mods.
Most mods on this list can be downloaded or deleted safely while playing a pre-existing save file. Deleting mods become problematic when you have already added and interacted with a custom item to the game and then delete the mod that supported the item. When testing new mods, I suggest only adding a few at a time so that you know what to delete if you encounter any issues.
If you are reading this on a laptop or PC, you can press command/control F to search for keywords of the mods you want to install to find where they belong in the LLO.
Personally, my favorite mods that I’ve added to the game are the dialogue mods and the texture mods. They make Skyrim feel like a real world with real people living in it and I would highly suggest using some or all of them. I’d also love to hear everyone’s suggestions on proposed edits to this load order. Please let me know if you are aware of any conflicting mods or bugs, or if I have made any mistakes in my layperson's explanation of techy stuff. Unsure if this is relevant information, but I’m located in the USA.
Extra notes:
What the heck is a leveled list? A leveled list is a change in the code that makes changes to certain values. Such as changing how much gold a character has or how powerful an enemy is.
And what exactly is an area edit? An area edit is any mod that adds or significantly changes a location in the game. This includes adding extra trees, adding extra smelters, or adding custom player homes that do not exist in vanilla, among other things.
Why are there all of these categories and why is it so complicated? LLO sorts mods so that the game can load the most important files first. When LLO is not followed, the game will inevitably crash. Categories allow us to sort mods into the LLO based on how they interact with the game's code. People sometimes disagree on what order to put the categories in, but all LLO templates use the same basic categories.
I do not use immersive citizens AI because multiple people have reported bugs. Other people have no issues with it, but I prefer to stay on the safe side.
Remember to lower your in-game brightness, especially when you are using divine interiors and divine atmospheres. If the brightness is all the way up, things will start to glow. You will have to use torches in locations with zero light, such as corners in caves. This adds a realistic feel to the game. If you give a torch to your follower, they will automatically use it in in low-light conditions. I switch between default/glimmegrim/vivid depending on where I am and how colorful I want things to be. The game may look darker overall as you can see in the screenshots, but this is more true to how lighting works in the real world.
Skyrim 101 tip: When you ditch items to reduce your carry weight, store them somewhere (such as a dead body or a chest) instead of dropping them on the ground. If you drop items all over your game it will eventually lag.
When creating a new character, keep in mind that once you start playing, you might change the lighting and make the colors more saturated. For example: I accidentally gave myself yellow hair instead of natural blonde because I forgot about lighting and atmosphere changes. This is another reason to install the vanity mirror mod, which allows you to change your character mid-game.
Storage space: all of the mods I have listed here take up approximately 4.36GB.
I suggest keeping a note of your LLO on your phone so that you can easily categorize mods you want to add the future.
Sometimes LLO will not save, so I recommend double-checking that everything landed in the right spot or backing up your LLO to bethesda before exiting the LLO menu.
Sometimes you need to restart your game to enable a newly installed mod.
How to delete a complex mod without causing problems: disable the mod, hard reset (hold power button for 10 secs or unplug the console), uninstall the mod, hard reset.
I’ve noticed a bug where I cannot tell my follower (Lydia) to do anything in “command mode”. I don’t know what’s causing this- it seems like a dialogue issue but I rarely use the command mode feature anyway so it’s small enough for me to ignore for now. Let me know if you find out what's causing this!
*Blurb over\*
Master Files

• Unofficial skyrim special edition patch (USSEP) *almost every source says that this must be installed. It fixes core bugs in the game that developers have not bothered to update themselves

Foundations: Lots of game changes (e.g. cheat room, encounters overhaul, etc.)

• Convenient horses *allows you to summon your horse from anywhere, store items on your horse, give followers horses, etc.

Dialogue Overhauls

• Guard dialogue overhaul
• Follower commentary overhaul
• Misc dialogue edits and more
• Relationship dialogue overhaul

Fonts/UI (excluding map mods)

• Font replacer - eadui

Alterations to vanilla quests
Any craftable item

• Vanity Mirror *this is to fix the makeup bug where your lips are off center when you create your character. I have not tested this yet, but apparently if you open up the customization menu with the vanity mirror then the makeup will work again. Cheat room also works for the makeup issue, but I didn’t want so many extra cheats in my game just to fix this one ridiculous bug
• Get no more dead followers *functionally turns off friendly fire for followers

Game mechanic changes: races, perks, vampires, adoptions, etc.

• Flute finder - a skyrim gps tracker for npcs *this is because I always lost my followers in vanilla and it was super annoying
• Multiple Marriages *haven’t tested this yet so cannot vouch for its effectiveness
• Auto unequip ammo *unequips arrows when you uneauip your bow so that you’re not always walking around with a sheath on your back

Level Progression (e.g. Clever leveling)
Perk overhauls/changes
Magic additions and modifications

• Master of Destruction (xb1) *adds new high level spells that target specific characters instead of killing everyone in the area
• Mining spell *I hate carrying a stupid pickaxe everywhere, so this spell mines for you. I haven't tested this mod yet though

Leveled list changes (e.g. rebalanced leveled lists)

• Better gold *adds slightly more gold when looting specific high level enemies
• Master trader 1x *this replenishes merchant gold each time you speak to them

NPC Leveled list (e.g. organized bandits in skyrim)
Any audio

• Chapter II - Jeremy Soule inspired music *Jeremy Soule composed the original game soundtrack. This adds a few hours of similar sounding music that blend in with the game

Weather and Atmosphere (put weather up ^ in LLO if the mod is just a weather mod and not an atmosphere mod)

• Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius *my favorite setting is vivid or grim
• Divine Atmosphere: Aetherius vanilla snowflakes option
• Ultra realistic snow flakes (custom snowflake texture) *if searching for this mod, search for “snow flakes” instead of “snowflakes”

Grass
Grass Fixes
Skin/skeleton physics and appearance changes

• pristine vanilla movement
• XP32 maximum skeleton special edition plus *changes some physics for smoother movement

Animation mods

• 360 walk and run *at first I put this in the gameplay mechanics category, but it did not work there. In the animation category it works as intended

Meshes and Textures
*The mods I’ve listed in this section should cover almost every visual in the game. Nothing is too drastic of a style change and fits right in to the game’s vibe.

• Wear multiple rings *this mod is more useful for stacking enchantments rather than pure aesthetics. Not necessary if you want a more vanilla game
• Divine texture pack - architecture
• Dark ages: fantasy dungeons
• Dark ages: dragon Textures
• Divine creatures texture pack
• Omen armors weapons and clothing *I highly recommend this one!
• Fluffy snow
• Dark ages - landscapes
• Divine skins and bodies for men *misleading name: this is actually unisex. Make sure this goes above^ divine people otherwise you might experience an occasional face glitch. This must be used along with divine people in order to work correctly
• Granite mountains *another mod I highly recommend
• Dark Ages: Trees of the north
• Divine SMIM *Static mesh improvement mod. SMIM mods redesign lots of small items in the game
• Lucidaps’ high poly project v5.x *This corrects blocky items to make things look more realistic. It cooperates with the SMIM to create beautifully textured and realistic item designs, such as the ridiculously good looking head of cabbage

Non-combat NPC AI
Immersion (e.g. immersive patrols, landlord etc.) - can be tricky to categorize
Anything that changes a character’s/npc face or hair (e.g natural eyes)

• Divine people of skyrim: celestial *For more vanilla/gritty looking people, try the dark ages texture pack. Both divine people and dark ages people mods must be paired with its corresponding skins mod, otherwise the textures will get cut off at the neck due to mismatching colors

Interior lighting changes

• Divine interiors shadows and light *my favorite setting is glimmer or default if the game looks too oversaturated because of the lighting. I highly recommend this mod, it makes the game feel much richer

Interior decorating changes
Lightweight multiple area edits

• Unique bridges of skyrim
• Divine forests
• Get more smelters *haven’t tested this extensively but I don’t foresee any issues since it doesn’t interfere with anything big

Single area edits like player homes
Multiple area edits (e.g. divine cities)
*I do not recommend divine cities or divine villages because it can be buggy. One time Lydia got permanently stuck in a modded tavern and I had to backtrack through an hour of progress to get her back out
Adding individual unique objects

• Auto Harvest Ring *because I like alchemy but hate picking flowers. Equipping this ring automatically harvests ingredients in range. Just remember to ditch the cabbages to reduce your carry weight

Combat changes, combat AI (e.g. realistic damage, wildcat)

• Dark ages: immersive dragon ai
• Better stealth ai for followers *followers will not start fighting automatically while you are trying to be sneaky

Unique follower mods (e.g. Sofia)
Mods that add new quests (mods that alter vanilla quests do not go here)

• More to say 9.0.2 *this dialogue mod is here because it adds new quests. The other dialogue mods I’ve added are less consequential and simply add a little immersion. I’m unsure if this conflicts with the other dialogue mods

Map mods

• A quality world map - vivid with stone roads *map mods use up VRAM and many people recommend against using them. I’m not a tech person, so forgive me if this isn’t accurate, but VRAM is similar to regular RAM. This means you can reset VRAM if you hard restart your console. If you are playing with tons of heavyweight mods all the time then maybe you should skip map mods, however in this LLO I have not noticed any FPS changes at all and personally, it’s worth it to me to hard restart the console every once in a while so that I can keep this mod. Source for the tech info (posted Oct. 2023) - https://www.xboxforums.com/threads/ram-and-vram.24007/
• Pastel map markers *Can you tell I like organizing? Color coding the map makes it more readable and gives locations a touch more personality

Mods that specify bottom LO

I’m enjoying this game for what it’s worth and I know that it’s not even officially out yet, but I hope that before the official release they can add these things to the game. I don’t know if the devs are reading this sub, but I’m sure at least one of them does lol!
Different looking gear: This is definitely one of the main complaints in the game and they should really address this. Legendary weapons and gear should look like their in-game counterparts if they have any like in Fallout Shelter. I mean Cicero is wearing a mail, he should be wearing his jester costume. Tiber Septim should be wearing his gold armor, and so on. It just helps differentiate it from other items and also make them look more “Legendary”. They don’t even need to make their 3D model look similar to the source material, just their gear is fine, but at least give them the right skin tone and hairstyle.
As for the other gear with just special effects but are not from the other ES games, literally just add particle effects on them like a sword with a fire bonus should be on fire, an axe with a frost bonus should be icy, a dagger with a lifesteal effect should be dripping in blood, and so on. It makes it more obvious that the item has an enchantment. I swear people would love this game more if you add that.
Return the “Wasteland Expedition” feature(forgot what it’s called) that Fallout Shelter had: You know, just drop a unit or a party in a carriage placed maybe at the entrance of the castle or something and let them explore the world where they will get items, gold, and so on, without your intervention, and the longer they explore, the more items they get, then give it a cap that when they die, they automatically go back home instead so they don’t go exploring forever.
Maybe add a small animation where they are doing stuff like running, fighting enemies, eating, and so on to make it more interesting while they are just exploring and have dialog options here and there so you have to check them for then to move forward. Then have some checkpoints so you can continue travelling the said route and discovering new areas and dialog options to get better items.
They can connect this with exploring new locations for the game to have a more coherent story and questlines. Tbh exploring locations is what makes Fallout Shelter fun and interesting, I really hope that they return that feature someday. Imagine exploring towns and castles where you can go inside rooms, look for items and talk to other NPC’s, then at some point you get to fight enemies or while running around town you fight bandits and stuff, then the game switches to the normal combat screen. Man that would really elevate Castles to a more fully fleshed out game. Like imagine going to Whiterun or Cyrodiil, man that would be amazing 🤩
Imagine having a Thieves’ Guild Questline or a Dragonborn quest where in the end one of your units becomes a dragonborn with special gear and stuff like that. And they can make it seasonal since units die of old age anyways, so like this month you can get a dragonborn unit with a unique trait if you complete the quest, then next month you can get a thieves guild unit and so on. And these traits cannot be inherited so the only way to get them is by doing the quests. One can only dream 🙏
More decorations that the subjects can interact with: I only have a low level castle right now so I don’t have all the decorations, but I notice units can interact with the fountain and have a ruling that say the fountain is being filled with gold coins and such. I don’t know if there are other decorations like this in higher levels, but I hope they add more of them. Like maybe someone reads the red book and suddenly they get an enduring trait since the description says it contains the “Secret to Enduring Health”, or they read the green book and they become 5 years younger, someone hangs around the purple tree too much and they become temporarily haunted, that would be really nice to see.
Oh and animation-wise too they definitely should add more interactions. I’ve only noticed two decorations that the NPC’s interact with, the fountain and the purple tree. Adults steal coins from the fountain, and kids play ring-around-a-rosie around the tree. It’s cute when they do that, just small details that add more life to the game. Oh and they sometimes taste the soup in the kitchen and check out their clothes in the sewing table, which is funny. I hope they add more of these to the other workstations, like they can test a weapon in the blacksmith, scribble over the battle plans in the war room, steal a sweet roll at the buffet, and so on.
Hard mode quests: Quests where if your units die, you lose your units permanently, but the rewards are better. They can implement this at the gauntlet for more seasoned players to try.
Bookshelf should have books that players can read: I bought the Lusty Argonian 1 and 2 for some gold, I should at least be able to read them, right? Isn’t that why we even choose what book to buy in the first place?
Music Stage should let us choose what background music to play: The music plays on a loop but it changes, at least give us an option to choose what we want to hear and maybe get new music to play from the shop. And definitely should add a musician/bard trait or something where if they play music at the music stage, they increase happiness for other NPC’s. To make it balanced, they can only increase the happiness to the lowest green level and will only affect their family and friends, I guess that would be reasonable without being too gamebreaking.
Allow us to destroy items to get back their raw materials: Not really necessary but it would be a nice feature to have. I’d be okay with destroying items to get half or 1/3 of the resources used to make them, at least my useless items will have some other use except for selling them.
Have an alchemy/wizard table that produces potions/scrolls: 1 potion per day is good enough. In the same vein, having a wizard table that produces scrolls is nice too, maybe not just resurrection scrolls, but temporary buffs that work only for the current battle is good too.
Have a leveling system for the units: Like someone using their workstation for 5 years should at least get a +1 bonus productivity in their job, up to a maximum of +5, with rarer units getting more, like gold units can get up to +9, purple +8, blue +7, green but with 2 traits +6, while fighters should get more proficient with their weapons the more they fight. A 10% increase for having weapon proficiency isn’t so overpowered anyway but is nice to have. Maybe each weapon should have a specific unit that they need to kill, and when they accomplish it they unlock the proficiency? Like “kill 100 goblins to get 10% more damage with this weapon”? I dunno, but it’s a nice thing to have and adds something more to do in the game with a tangible reward.
That’s all I have for now, hope you guys like my ideas and definitely your comments will be much appreciated! If you have ideas of your own you can share them below 😊

I've been having a pretty fun time with the game so far, some of the bosses have felt unfair, but the Dracula fight feels bullshit. I don't think it's too hard (I've beaten malenia in elden ring, THAT fight is too hard), it's just unfun - I'll explain why.
Healing is an incredibly weak stat. All healing is combat is capped at around 15% of your max health, from the lowest point at your max health that you've been at. The way it's implemented is such an odd positive feedback loop - you have to dodge ALMOST everything in order to avoid taking damage, because if you take too much damage, you've permanently lost that health for the battle (aside from the 3 healing orbs). If you can manage to take a bit of damage and then heal back that 15%, no worries! You healed before taking more damage, so that healing is okay! But uh oh, you took 50% of your health because you got hit by 2 attacks in a row, or the boss grabbed you and threw you into the aoe damage zone on the ground (and if your veil happens to be on cooldown this actually does 80% or kills you)? Guess you've now permanently lost 35% of your health for this battle. Sucks to be you! HA! "Sucks." Vampire pun.
My current build is chaos focused, I have 90 gear rating, use a crossbow, 65 spell power, 46% spell crit chance, 34% spell vamp, the capped 40% spell cooldown reduction(also bullshit), and almost no movement speed (crossbow gives 4.2%). With this build it is impossible to beat Dracula. I can see his attacks coming for the most part, but in most cases my character just does not move fast enough to get out of the way. The 34% spell vamp I have is all but useless, so I get hit by several un-dodgeable attacks because my only dodge skill has an 8 (sometimes 9) second cooldown, and It's impossible for me to heal back to full health after taking an absurd amount of damage from attacks because healing is extremely limited (for some unknown reason).
Now I could very easily change my build to use the movement speed amulet, and movement speed gear, as well as put some counter abilities on (I don't really like them since they're boring and it doesn't feel like I'm playing a mage if I use them since at that point I only have one offensive spell lol), but that's not the way that I want to play my character, and I haven't needed to do that at any point in my playthrough thus far.
Side Note Here: Why is there no like.. staff weapon in this game for mages? Maybe the staff could have one of it's weapon skills as a counter, but with very limited damage on the offensive side, so mage builds can actually have two offensive spells? And if mage builds aren't an intended design... why are like 75% of all the spells in the game built around spell power and function mostly as damage instead of utility?
I made a recent post about cooldown reduction having a cap at 40%, and then healing also has a cap at 15% or so of your max hp. ALL healing, other than the few health pickups that bosses drop at 50%, during combat is massively capped. Why are these two things so limited? Are players supposed to have to play the game in the very specific way of using mobility and counters? Why even have the other abilities and gear that allows you to try and play the game with this other non-mobility non-counter playstyle? It doesn't make sense. Just feels like needless limiting on playstyle diversity.
If healing would be OP if it didn't have a cap... then why not just lower the numbers? 10% spell vamp is a massive amount, but it's meaningless if you can't heal that much. So why is it 10% with a ridiculously high limiting factor instead of just around 5%? Healing items also stop if you take any damage during combat. Why also have a temporary hard cap on healing? Why isn't mobility limited? If you use your veil, why are you still allowed to use dashes from weapon skills or counters? Of course that scenario makes no sense, that would be absurd, yet that is what is done for healing.
At the end of the day, I just don't feel the urge to keep trying this fight. It doesn't feel fun. My build feels needlessly nerfed - my cooldown reduction is capped at 40% when I could be at 50-60%, and the 34% spellvamp I put effort into getting in my build feels unnecessarily limited, and as a player I'm not sure why. It's made a lot of fights up to this point a lot more difficult than they needed to be, but I was having fun throwing out explosion spells. However, now it actually feels impossibly difficult to win... unless I change my build to mobility. I don't really want to put in the time or effort to build other gear in order to beat this boss, I might come back to it later, but I'd rather just go play another game that isn't extremely limiting for seemingly no reason. I haven't even gotten to the third phase a single time (which I could probably do with some practice, I've only tried the fight around 10 times so far), but I just can't imagine surviving that phase.