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· Read the label carefully before use.
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· Keep out of reach of the children.
Cipzer Kids Capsules: Boost Immunity & Brain Growth

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The following two brain scans were provided by the Neuro-Warfare branch of the Halcyon Security Division (HSD) for the purpose of analyzing the thoughts, behaviors, and information of notorious gangsters Vincent 'Troy' Cohen and Bruno (Deadname: Koraak Tel-Char). At the point of the recording of this archival shared, Bruno has since received his rebirth therapy, and Vincent is currently serving a long-term rehabilitative and reeducative sentence in the Erebus Supermax Prison on Io.
Warning: the contents of this archival shared may be especially disturbing to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
Warning: the contents of this archival shard are for the sole purpose of analyzing the thought patterns and memories of certain degenerate criminals in an effort to ascertain vital information that can be used to eliminate their organizations. Only staff with clearance level Omega may view this archival shared, and the viewership of this archival shared by anyone of inadequate clearance level will lead to twenty years in prison and a fine of over a hundred thousand credits.
Booting up memory scan: Vincent 'Troy' Cohen, November 4th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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"Do you have visuals of the target, Troy?"
I knelt down in the alleyway, the bodies of me and my partners shrouded in long, waterproof, ashen-gray overcoats the shade of dirty street scum that we wore to ward off the constant heavy rainfall the color of osmium. Our faces were covered in a mix of scrapped respirators, visors, or full metal face masks carved with intricate designs to hide our identities. On our waists were our badges of honor: leather belts studded with interlocked rivets made from blackened titanium, each buckle forged of silver and shaped into the head of our gang's symbol, the black mamba. We hid amongst the shadows of the dark midday of Halcyon City, the heavy, oppressive rains blanketing the roads paved obsidian-black with asphalt and weathered concrete walkways. The street lamps were always on, like beacons of false hope in a storm of melancholy.
The city was dark and dreary as always, the planet of Proxima Centauri B, renamed Dawn's Lamentation over a century ago, orbited the red dwarf star of Proxima Centauri, and the atmosphere was thick with natural smog and ever-storming rain clouds. That didn't dissuade people from living here: there was plenty of money to be had for shrewd industrialists and hardworking pioneers, even in the urban sprawl. But that life also came with risks, especially for those on the bottom of the totem pole.
I was a ganger, and we were criminals; full stop. I won't assault you with some spiel about how we're the good guys fighting oppression because, at the end of the day, we could be just as bad, if not worse, than Halcyon's Security Division, or the HSD for short. We were traffickers, killers, extortionists, and money launderers. We dealt with everything from stolen tech and military-grade hardware to hard drugs and sentients.
Yes, sentients. We trafficked sentients, but not in the way you might think. They weren't prisoners, in fact, we were their saviors if they had the cash. We had developed a reputation for fighting the power, but it was still business: sure, freeing captives from the clutches of the Protectorate. The disruption of its many oppressive organizations held a certain satisfaction in my heart for sure, but we didn't help those who couldn't pay unless someone else paid on their behalf. It was about making sure me and my gang, my family, could live a decent life for another day.
It helped that most of us joined after leaving the state yard for partaking in acts of 'degeneracy' and 'anti-xenopet illegalities' as if those terms meant anything anymore other than that we were a threat to the local status quo. It was hard to pick up a job as a former inmate when even in something as harsh and backbreaking as a job in the iridium mines near the poles when the employment office had you blacklisted as a degenerate, which lead to the formation of many of the gangs: we needed to make a living somehow, and when all social programs were cut off from you unless you submitted for 're-education' and the only way to put food on the table was subverting, breaking, or even downright fighting the law, you did what you had to do or you died on the streets a scorned beggar.
It wasn't like the HSD made it easy for us on even a good day: the local HSD units were armed to the teeth with advanced, military-grade hardware that you'd often see on the front lines of the Second Authority War: armored assault transports, a myriad of advanced war droids, all sorts of chemical countermeasures that made tear gas seem like putting the garden hose on mist mode, and of course advanced firearms. Add that to the fact that they were authorized to use deadly force when they deemed it necessary and you had a ruthless, heartless, and nearly unstoppable enemy. But we could make that work: we weren't trying to stop them, just to withstand them.
"Yeah, I got eyes on the prize, Koraak; seven armored transports, two for droids, five for prisoners."
Today wasn't a day for a normal job: we were getting bolder, cockier, more ambitious. Our numbers had swelled for the last few years after the raid at Barnard's Star and the fall of the Blood Dragon Mafia. Their leader, Saito Yasuhide, had committed seppuku as their manor burned, and his twin sons had gone down fighting rather than allowing themselves to be captured simply to face a firing squad. In the aftermath, many of the family's associates had fled to the surrounding systems, and with the sheer size and scope of the criminal underworld found here, it was no wonder that many people who had developed skills of the less legal variety had decided to form ranks with the gangs, and with them they brought guns, tech, knowledge, contacts, and even something that we thought wasn't possible beforehand: a semblance of peace between the gangs, or at least the closest thing to peace that gangs could cultivate effectively. With the fall of the Blood Dragons, we saw the writing on the wall, and the writing couldn't have been clearer: work together or die together.
"Sounds like a massacre, Troy: are you sure we can handle seven?"
"We ain't got no choice, Cinder: this job's double the usual rate, and that's not including the weapons and gear we could scrounge if this goes well," I hissed, my eyes scanning for any resistance. There were at least four guards for each van, not to mention at least eight droids in total, meaning that we were already outnumbered, but we had the element of surprise: we could make it work. "So put your balls in your purse and get ready to spill some blood."
Koraak snorted at our antics, which sounded like someone pulling the ripcord on a lawnmower. He was a veteran Russu Corsair, and while his past of slaving, raiding, and killing was unsavory, so were the lives we'd lived, so who were we to judge? All we cared about was that he was a brutal and capable fighter and a loyal brother in arms. It turned out that being a ganger wasn't much different from being a Corsair: you lived and died by a code of honor, you fought to the death for your brothers, and you lived to die for the sake of your gang and your family, simple as that. In a strange, ironic way, it was an incredibly honest way of life: we were under no illusions as to what we were, what we did, and why we did it, and we'd long since accepted it. The Russu related to us in that aspect, in many ways I could respect, which is why I hated what the Protectorate was doing, and why I couldn't grasp how most of humanity could just collectively lose their marbles so long ago. What had happened for us to deem all other life below us in such a demeaning and infantilizing way?
The Russu were a race of tall, muscle-bound Saurians with avian features, and Koraak was no exception: reaching almost seven feet in height and weighing over four hundred and fifty pounds, he could be an absolute menace if he so desired. His skin was covered in stubby, knobby scales and dense plumage, with elegant feathers adorning the ridges along his back as well as his forearms, elbows, knees, and the crests on his head. He almost looked like how paleontologists described velociraptors, with razor-sharp talons, feathers shaded in vibrant greens, reds, and purples, and a maw full of sharp teeth, but at the tip of his snout was a sharp, beak-like growth meant for ripping flesh off the bone.
The Russu were strange as hell, but they also looked almost cute in the same way a fully grown alligator was cute: they were obviously dangerous, but humans would always have this innate desire to anthropomorphize them and to pet them for some inexplicable reason, although common sense usually prevented that, at least amongst the very few of us left that were sane.
"Shut up, Troy! All I'm saying is that that'll be rough, and you know it," hissed Cinder. Cinder was a tall black man whose coffee-colored skin was covered in tattoos. He wore an ebony mechanic's jumpsuit with metal inserts underneath his grimy overcoat covering his body and a faded black respirator on his face. His eyes were a startling blue that seemed sorely out of place, and his hair was braided into thick cornrows along his scalp. He wore a pair of heavy black combat boots and palmed his compact shotgun in his hands, the square barrel less than seven inches. Like a lot of the weapons the Black Mambas carried on their persons and dealt in, they fired caseless ammunition; in Cinder's case it was 16x40mm caseless shotshells filled with depleted uranium micro-flechetes no thicker than a toothpick. Cinder nervously fiddled with the detachable tube magazine underneath the barrel, his hands shaking. Despite the shit I have him, I didn't blame him for being anxious: I was anxious too, even if I refused to show it. The biting cold of unease and pessimism was in my stomach, and I ran all the way that this job could go wrong in my head over and over.
"Just hold yourself together, this ain't anything we haven't done before, there's just more of it," I reassured Cinder, "besides, we're not alone; we have reinforcements across the street. We'll make it out of this alive."
Cinder nodded almost absentmindedly, his eyes downcast and his breathing shallow. I turned from him and back to Koraak, who was making sure he had everything on his person; he had a synthetic leather bandoleer across his chest that contained the heavy eight guage depleted uranium slugs he kept loading and unloading into his much larger, longer, and more traditional shotgun he nicknamed ‘carnage’ and several leather straps that held his Tu'shan daggers: traditional Russu pyramidal blades forged from a silvery alloy with all three edges serrated and the tip barbed to leave behind horrible, gaping wounds that gushed blood. They were wickedly sharp and absolutely straight like a stiletto, and the hilts and pommels were beautifully decorated. He wore no clothes underneath his overcoat to cover the countless scars and blemishes he's earned in combat across his chest and abdomen, and instead of a normal respirator or visor, he simply wore a hood over his head and some traditional Russu facial armor to protect his mouth, eyes, and cheeks.
"You ready to fight, Koraak? The caravan will pick up and leave soon."
Koraak was silent for a moment before nodding, a human gesture he had picked up after serving as a soldier with the Black Mambas for years. "I'm always ready to fight," he said before lifting up his shotgun and aiming down the sights at the reinforced front wheels of the first armored car in the caravan. He exhaled and fired, the slug ripping through both front tires and causing them to deflate and fall apart. The echo of the shot rang through the alleyway and the street, causing pedestrians to panic and flee the scene as heavily armored guards poured out of the side doors of the armored cars and unholstered their carbines.
"Go, now!" I shouted, and both me and Cinder rushed out into the fray, our guns raised. Koraak was right behind the two of us, providing covering fire with his shotgun. Several guards fell quickly, Koraak's precise fire and the sheer force of the depleted uranium slugs putting them down for good as their heads were vaporized or their chest cavities were turned to mush. He emptied the tube with one final shot that painted the grey matter of a security guard on the door of one of the armored cars, then racked the shotgun and expertly loaded it in threes, his hands deft and agile as he reached for more slugs faster than any human.
With the cacophony of our initial assault, more Black Mambas poured out from the alleyways and the subways, armed to the teeth with all manner of weapons; shotguns, submachine guns, pistols, machetes, baseball bats, and all manner of homemade explosives. Molotovs and more potent concoctions shattered against the asphalt, herding in the caravan guards with their volatile contents as they were quickly gunned down. The assault was working, and we were winning.
Then I heard the robotic whine of a combat droid activating, and my heart sank. One of the armored cars in the back activated the four combat droids it held, the robotic assault units detaching from their charging ports on the sides of the large van and began to form up, each armed with a terrifying array of deadly weapons meant to quash any and all resistance. They were blocky, soulless, utilitarian things that stood at eight feet tall, with flat feet meant for stomping and blades, grasping claws designed to lacerate flesh and shatter bone. On each shoulder was a weapon: on the left was a multi-barrel rotary grenade launcher loaded with 15mm concussion grenades, and on the right was a burst-fire splinter cannon. They were all painted a dull grayish-green, the color of Halcyon's Security Division, although some had a few decorations on them: the one closest to me had a bit of graffiti on the side that said Mr. Hugs in Comic Sans, which I couldn't decide whether that made it more or less terrifying. They split up without hesitation and began to scan the chaotic battlefield, their single, red, beady lenses the security forces had the gall to call eyes focusing on specific targets to eliminate.
An entire group of Black Mambas was torn to pieces by a cloud of flechettes as one of the droids fired a withering three-round burst of shotshells from the four gauge splinter cannon mounted on its shoulder. Another picked up a Black Mamba in its hand and crushed her skull effortlessly before tossing her limp body to the side, its single, red, remorseless robotic eye tracking a new target. Most bullets that struck their thick armored chassis simply bounced off, and those that could pierce the armor didn't seem to phase the droids whatsoever, merely notifying them of a new potential target.
"Damnit," I shouted as I gunned down another guard only for two more to take his place. "Cinder! We gotta pop open the cars and scram! Get the maglock cutters!"
Cinder rushed and slid over through a dirty puddle, pulling out a maglock cutter from the inside of his coat and slipping it onto the back door of the first van. It immediately went to work, drilling through the maglock with a high-powered plasma torch nozzle, and within ten seconds we heard the telltale clunk of the maglock separating. I yanked the door open and ordered I side, ready to escort the prisoners out… only for my face to contort in shock and horror.
The back was empty. There was not a single soul inside of the back brig of the armored car.
"What the fuck…" Cinder gasped, his eyes wide with shock. "What the actual fuck… what the fuck is this, Troy?"
"I… I don't…" I stuttered the sounds of battle and carnage drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in my ears. All five cars were supposed to be filled with recently captured Russu from the front lines ready to be housed in the local Xenopet-Megaplex for processing and conditioning. The fact that this one was empty…
Suddenly, it all hit me at once with the force of a freight train, but it was too late. "We were set up, Cinder; our fucking client either squealed or was crooked to begin with…"
"Fucking bitch!" Cinder shouted as he spun around in an enraged arch, anger growing in his eyes. He aimed his shotgun at an approaching security guard and reduced his upper body to a fine red mist with a cacophony of shotgun blasts. "We gotta get everyone who's left out of here! Do you know what this means? The Jurors will be here soon, and then we're all going down! We gotta go, fuck the job!"
I grit my teeth. Not the Jurors, anything but the Jurors.
"Fine, gather everyone who's left and we'll slip through the sewers, the droids are too bulky to follow us there…"
As I spoke, my eyes wandered to the seventh and final armored car, the second of the droid cars, and my blood froze. Not only were all four ports empty, but they were also smaller and more shallow than the ports for the combat droids. That could only mean one thing.
"Oh fuck! Cinder, we gotta get our Russu members out of here! They've got arachnid droids!"
Arachnid droids were the stuff of nightmares. Resembling blocky, robotic arachnids the size of a manhole cover, they were specifically designed to take down sentient aliens, specifically the Russu, using sickeningly non-lethal means. They were equipped with full-body adaptive cloaking to blend in with their environments, paralytic agents that they could inject into their victims, built-in taser barbs, psychedelic gas ports for crowd-control, and a narrow-coned cacophony canon that disabled the Russu using incredibly high-pitched sounds that only they could hear, forcing them onto their knees and clutching the backs of their heads where their auditory organs were stored in agony. But worst of all was their stygian spinnerets: special ports near the end of their robotic abdomens that excreted a viscous, latex-like substance made up of millions of nano-bots. This substance could be used to render Russu blind, deaf, and mute by having it forced onto their faces, the black substance growing and enveloping their heads and working its way into every orifice. It was completely permeable to the standard atmosphere, but any Russu who had been 'webbed' was completely helpless and essentially captured, and the 'webbing' was both nearly indestructible and nigh impossible to remove without a triple-encrypted override key that was found in every arachnid droid's code, which was corrupted when the droid was destroyed or hacked into. Once you were 'webbed', you were essentially captured and the standard protocol was to leave you to the wolves since the nano-bots could be tracked, endangering the entire gang.
I turned just as I heard the deafening sound of Koraak discharging his shotgun, and I saw him squaring off against one of the assault droids. The droid has obviously been programmed to not use lethal force against Russu if possible, as instead of simply killing Koraak with it's shoulder-mounted splinter cannon, it approached with its claws extended, blades retracted. Koraak continued to back away and fire, pumping the droid full of depleted uranium slugs, its armor crumbling inward as the slugs pierced its chassis and damaged its internal cyberstructure. Eventually, Koraak ran out of slugs and instinctively reached to his bandoleer only to find that he had no more shells left at all, and he drew one of his knives and his sidearm, a simple high-caliber handgun. He tried to take down the droid with his handgun, but the bullets didn't even seem to affect the droid upon penetration, it's claws still extended as it attempted to apprehend Koraak.
In the corner of my vision, as I watched Koraak battle with the droid, I noticed a faint shimmer in the air on one of the black streetlight poles that was right behind him. I focused on it and blinked, believing my eyes had deceived me for a moment before realizing that it was actually a cloaked arachnid droid stalking Korvaak, ready to pounce and incapacitate him.
Before I could shout, it leaped from the pole and landed on Korvaak, causing him to shout in surprise while it began to coagulate its horrifying stygian webbing to disable Korvaak. Korvaak tried to wrestle it off of him, but the droid was agile and fast, clinging onto Korvaak and skittering around across his upper body as he attempted to grab it, forcibly wrapping the sticky black liquid across his face as he gagged like a spider wrapping up a fly. I rushed towards him to try and help, but I felt pain explode in my ribs as I was struck with the arm of the closest combat droid and launched into the chassis of a parked car, the metal denting from the sheer force of impact. I groaned in pain as I saw stars and my head spun, and just then I felt a blinding light be cast over me.
“Drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head, or you will be pacified with deadly force!” Shouted a loud, artificially deepened voice from above. “I repeat, drop your weapons and kneel with your hands on your head! Neither hostility nor hesitation will be tolerated!”
It was the Jurors, I could feel the air being pushed around from the thrusters on their drop ships, and I could hear screams and shouts as my fellow Black Mambas were quickly gunned down. I couldn’t see well since I was seeing double, but I could hear the slaughter as my eyes dimmed and I began to lose consciousness, my regrets crawling up my throat like vomit.
I’m sorry was all I could think as everything finally went dark, and the sounds of chaos, destruction, and combat faded away.
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Memory halted due to loss of consciousness. Booting next available memory in shard…
Booting up memory scan: Koraak Tel-Char Bruno, November 5th, 2446…
Loading and processing firmware data… translating… memories and subconscious simulated…
Beginning archival shard presentation…
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“Good morning, sleepyhead; it’s time for breakfast.”
My eyes shot open. I was not in the street anymore, nor was I home in my bed with my mate. I knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t gain the leverage to do so: my ankles had been shackled together with magnetic cuffs and my arms were forced together in front of me.
I was wearing some kind of thick shirt. It was warm, fluffy, and comfortable on the inside, but it still made me incredibly uncomfortable that my arms didn’t have a free range of motion. I looked down to see that I was wearing some human garment I had heard about before, a straightjacket maybe?
The entire room was padded: the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. There was no bed or furniture; the floor was soft enough to serve as a bed in itself. There was nothing else except for the soft reddish-orange lights on the ceiling that somehow made me sleepy. I blinked slowly for a moment, my body screaming at me to just lay back down and lose consciousness, but I couldn’t do that: I needed to figure out where I was and how to escape.
Then I noticed who was speaking to me: it was a short human female, with crow's feet around her blue eyes, blonde hair braided down her back, and freckles all over her face. She had a soft smile on her lips, and her forehead was slightly crinkled. She wore a full-body white lab suit with a white overcoat and a pair of glasses for snugly on her face.
"There we go, now I can see those pretty eyes, such a beautiful shade of teal," she cooed softly, "You're such a handsome boy, even with all those scars: I'm sure you'll be adopted very quickly once we get you fixed up."
Fear gripped my heart as I began to piece all the evidence together. I had been captured; I was no longer on Halcyon, and instead, I was in one of the horrific space-born facilities I had heard so much about from the inside agents. I started to hyperventilate and squawk like a newborn hatchling, my eyes dilating in panic. This couldn't be happening! This has to be a nightmare!
The human woman merely wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into an embrace, cradling my head under her chin and speaking softly. I couldn't bite at her or claw at her: I was muzzled and wearing a straight jacket, so I had no choice but to allow her to coddle me.
"It's okay, sweetheart: I understand you're scared, but Julie's here to make all the pain and bad thoughts go away," she said as if she was comforting a child, which made anger blossom in my chest indignantly. "I'll be your caretaker for the next few months, and I'm going to make sure you're healthy, happy, and most importantly safe while you're under our care. I'm sorry to say that includes your restraints and restrictive clothing, but we have to make sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others before we can determine if it's a good idea to remove you from suicide watch."
I growled under my muzzle. Suicide watch? They must have had a lot of instances of Russu taking their own lives after being captured, something I wished I had been able to do before that damnable droid launched itself onto me and…
I shuddered at the thought of the black, viscous substance forcing itself into my nostrils and down my throat and windpipe, gagging me and rendering me completely helpless. It was so cold, so harsh, like slime, and when I had tried to tear it off of my face it merely attached itself to my claws and bound my talons together. I remember squirming on the ground as it enveloped me, unable to see, hear, or speak, and then everything went dark in an instant. It was the most horrible thing I had ever experienced, which was saying something.
"You alright, sweetheart? Oh, I know, you're probably hungry! Here, try some of this." She held up a piece of what looked like raw bacon and wiggled it in front of me before reaching out to remove my muzzle. In an instant, I attempted to snap at her only for pain to blossom in my forehead and my eyes to roll up in my head as I convulsed. It was like something was attempting to drill through my skull from the inside, and every breath felt empty and labored.
"Now, that didn't feel very nice, did it? This is why we have countermeasures in place because we can't trust you yet, sweetheart! Don't worry, we'll work on breaking you of all those bad behaviors and habits while you're here; after all, a well-trained pet is a happy pet!" She began to stroke the crests on my head as I slowly recovered, and she snugly fit the muzzle back onto my snout. "But I won't hold it against you this time, sweetheart; you're just scared and confused, but I'll make all the pain go away."
I struggled in the straight jacket, trying my best to break out of it, but it was no use. Eventually, I became exhausted and despondent, allowing my new caretaker to have her way with me as she gently ran her fingers through my feathers and along my ridges, quietly speaking to me in a hopeless attempt to cheer me up. She seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being, which concerned me even further: who could be this naturally twisted while attempting to be as benevolent and kindhearted as possible?
I felt the pain and terror build up in my chest, the anxiety from what horrific activities I imagined they had planned for me here. I couldn't take the infantilization, the lack of any autonomy, the dehumanization, and what I feared the most was if the rumors of 'rebirth' were true: would they take my personhood from me?
Suddenly, I felt her whisper to me. "Don't worry sweetheart, I know you're so scared and confused, but I promise you everything will be okay: it's going to be your birthday soon, and then everything will get better." She ran her fingers through the feathers along my crest lovingly. "It will be such a wonderful day, and then we'll choose for you the most wonderful family, and you'll spend the rest of your life happy in your forever home! Doesn't all of that sound wonderful?"
I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to lose myself, not like this, not to these monsters!
"It'll be your birthday soon," she said wistfully as if she was remembering similar events to this in the past like I wasn't the first she'd done this too, "and you'll never be sad again."
I realized that I wasn't the first the stay in this particular cell, and I knew for certain that I wouldn't be the last: I'd end up like my brother, a broken, erased mess of a pathetic creature, reduced to nothing more than a pet for these humans to amuse themselves with.
"We took the liberty of picking out a nice name for you, sweetheart! Now, let me just slip this little programming chip into the port slot on your occipital bone, and... there we go! It will also help you calm down a bit and adjust."
I felt the chip begin to invade my mind, suppressing my thoughts. What made me me was slowly being ripped out of my mind. I couldn't remember my name my name is Bruno, and I needed to get out! I can't let them do this to me! Somebody help me! I was a good boy.
##Do not think. You are a good boy.##
I tried to scream, but my voice wouldn't work: I had trouble forming any words at all, the confusion clouding my mind like wet, slimy eels curling around my brain and sinking their teeth into its folds like needles. I couldn’t scream any longer, because I had nothing left: the chip was slowly beginning to take everything from me, robbing me of my identity and branding a new one into my psyche with a white-hot iron. Julie simply held me close, attempting to reassure me as I awaited the inevitable demise of my personhood. Soon I would be just like my brother: erased. My mind would be shaped into the mind of a loyal plaything, like a Dog.
##Relax. Allow caretaker [Julie] to comfort you. You will let go of your burden.##
Soon, everything was a blur. I quickly found myself resting my head in her lap as she whispered to me and fed me, my eyes bleary and my head fuzzy. I couldn't remember my name anymore My name was Bruno, and I needed to break free from this trance relax, and allow her to help me; good boys didn't resist help.
##Good Boy. Do not think. You are a good boy.##
You can't... I...
##Good boy.##
I wouldn't… good boys don't… I…
##Good boy##
I was a good boy… I was a good boy…
I was… I was… a good… boy…
Someone help me, please! I don't want to be erased!
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The following script is from episode #343 of Halcyon After Dark, a popular late-night and current events talk show hosted by Melinda Carter. This specific episode was sponsored in part by the Halcyon Security Division, with Director Lochlin O'Brien joining as a guest star to talk about the changing crime statistics in Halcyon City and the HSD's recent successes in busting organized crime as well as their plans for addressing the growing criminal underworld.
MC: Good evening Halcyon! I'm your host, Melinda Carter, and you're watching Halcyon's most popular late-night talk show, Halcyon After Dark!
The crowd claps and cheers as Melinda walks on stage and sits behind her desk, her glittering red dress waving as she does so from the special effects.
MC: Tonight we have a very special guest here to tell us about the state of crime in the city and his plans on resolving it: please put your hands together for the HSD's very own Director, Lochlin O'Brien!
The crowd cheers some more as HSD Director Lochlan O'Brien, a tall, muscular, caucasian male in his early forties with red hair and a well-trimmed beard steps into the room, waving at the crowd with a bright smile. He sits in the armchair angled next to Melinda's desk and gives her his full attention.
MC: It's so good to have you on the show, Director! Tell me, how are you doing on this fine evening?
LO: I'm doing excellent, Melinda: every day I wake up feeling fulfilled knowing I'm serving Halcyon to the best of my abilities and then some."
MC: That's the spirit, Director! Now, I know this question is just on everyone's lips, so I have to ask: how successful was the recent gang bust? I heard HSD forces took out dozens of gang members and liberated at least a dozen Russu Hounds from their abusive clutches, but I know that everyone in the audience and at home wants to know the numbers.
LO: I'd be glad to tell you, but I do have to preface this by saying that we still lost a lot of good officers that day, and while we did strike a crippling blow to one of Halcyon's biggest gangs, it doesn't change the fact that each death is a tragedy, and we're taking steps to prevent them in the future. That being said, those valiant officers did not sacrifice themselves in vain: we had over a dozen confirmed kills and several arrests, including the rescue of several corrupted Russu hounds.
MC: That's excellent, Director: proof that even when the number of degenerates and scum grow by the day, the HSD will always be here to keep the citizens of Halcyon safe.
LO: Absolutely, Melinda, and we're always working tirelessly to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of our units, as well as racing to stay several steps ahead of the many gangs of Halcyon at all times. My newest goal as Director is to vastly increase the funding given to our Robotics Department and our Neuro-Warfare Department to potentially reduce the number of casualties we may experience in the future, as well as to quickly and effectively detain, and if necessary, eliminate criminals. Within the next decade, I want to double the number of automated units each Security Platoon is assigned: droids are the future of public safety as well as countless other industries, and it would be foolish to be left behind.
MC: That is quite a lofty goal, Director: what about the displaced jobs from the increased automation? What will the union say?
LO: And to that, I say: what misplaced jobs? We aren't replacing our honored and beloved service members with droids, Melinda, we are simply supplementing our units with more droids to ensure that future gang assaults end with fewer HSD casualties and more gang members in prison or eliminated, simple as that.
MC: That makes much more sense, Director, thanks for clarifying. Now, I have one more question that I'm sure much of Halcyon wants to know the answer to before we take a short break: what plans do you and your fellow directors have to make long-term progress in reducing crime beyond just increasing funding? Have you proposed any plans to strike at the source of where crime and degeneracy flourish?
OL: That's an excellent question, and one I am proud to answer: my constituents and I have been working tirelessly on a two-step plan to greatly reduce crime levels in Halcyon. Step one would be to prevent people from becoming criminals and degenerates at all in the first place: a lot of young men and women, but especially young men, have lost either one or both parents or even a sibling, aunt or uncle, or even a close friend by the brutality of the Second Authority War, and while the service of their lost loved ones will always be recognized and honored, many of these young men and women are left bitter, angry and lost without the guidance these people give them in their lives. Oftentimes they seek to fill that void with others who claim to relate to them: career criminals. These criminals will fill their heads with lies and false narratives to make them feel like they're fighting back against the 'evil protectorate government' that took their loved ones from them by sending them off to war when in reality it was the rogue Xenopets of the Triarchy that took them away by resisting their just and inevitable unburdening.
In response, I have proposed a slew of special programs that will make sure local law enforcement and HSD officers are present and contributing to their local community, and we'll be providing easy and light job openings for youngsters and teens looking to make a career for themselves in the force when they grow up. We want to let these lost souls know that there are people who care about them, people who understand them and that you shouldn't turn to degeneracy to feel fulfilled. We want to help the youth of our great society soar to new heights!
MC: That sounds like a wonderful beginning to your plan, Director, but what about the second step?
LO: Well, the second step is to prevent criminals and degenerates from becoming repeat criminals. Sure, they've made their mistakes, some worse than others, but they're only human like the rest of us. Some of them have been through hell: some are traumatized veterans who don't know how to adapt to normal life, others were recruited when they were young and don't know that there's a better way to live, and even more are mentally ill. We're alone in this galaxy, and we can't leave so many people behind. That's why we've come up with an excellent solution: we've set up isolated communities on distant moons and frontier planets where these criminals can be reeducated, rehabilitated, and allowed to repay their debt to society. When they're deemed 'reformed' and have graduated from our program, they'll be granted a hefty stipend and their criminal record will be deemed irrelevant, allowing them to reintegrate and become functioning members of our proud society.
MC: all of these sound like incredible steps forward in the fight to better our society and make real progress, Director. Sadly, we do have to step away for a moment, but you best believe I'll be back, Halcyon, and we'll be asking the Director here some burning questions about allegations over the quality of life Erubus Supermax! Now, a word from our sponsors!
Halcyon Xenopet-Megaplex! Everything your xenopet could ever need in one place! Adoption is now free-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good, you’re still alive! The rest of this shard appears to be corrupted, which means this particular trail seems to have run cold here, but do not despair; you need to keep searching. Find out what happened. Find the truth.I cannot guide you any longer: they've already found me, and if I remain in contact with you they'll find you as well. Take the archival database, and see what you can piece together. Maybe if we discover what truly happened we can put an end to this madness once and for all. I'm counting on you. Don't cry for me, I don't fear death, but I fear what they'll do to me to get to you: there are far worse fates than death, after all.

Hi everyone. I got this problem as the title, or perhaps it's a system problem. I'm not sure.
Before I describe the issue, you should know that my company doesn't allow my computer to install other applications/programs, other than the origin Microsoft Excel 2016. Also, my computer only allows it to run under a closed internet environment.
I often need to perform a series of simple copy-paste and search-print actions repeatedly from Excel to a certain website.
Therefore, I tried to use VBA to automate this task while not being discovered by the IT department that I'm doing this. (That's the reason I don't use html object methods )
It works when I run the code below, however, after several runs of the loop, it always send keys too fast or slow then everything goes wrong afterwards. I want it to become much more stable.
Is there another way to improve this apart from increasing the wait time?
Thanks a lot.

Sub CopyToweb() Dim ws As Worksheet Set ws = ThisWorkbook.ActiveSheet Dim startColumn As String startColumn = InputBox("Copy data from which column？") Dim lastRow As Long lastRow = ws.Cells(ws.Rows.Count, startColumn).End(xlUp).Row For i = 1 To lastRow Step 1 ws.Range(startColumn & i).Select If Selection.Count = 1 Then Selection.Copy ' switch to the target website SendKeys "%{TAB}", True WaitSeconds 1 ' Paste data SendKeys "^v", True WaitSeconds 1 ' proceed search SendKeys "{ENTER}", True WaitSeconds 0.5 ' open printing dialog on the website SendKeys "^p", True WaitSeconds 1.5 ' proceed print SendKeys "{ENTER}", True WaitSeconds 5 ' back to the search bar on the webpage SendKeys "{TAB}", True WaitSeconds 1 SendKeys "{TAB}", True WaitSeconds 1 SendKeys "{TAB}", True WaitSeconds 1 ' switch back to the Excel worksheet SendKeys "%{TAB}", True WaitSeconds 2 Else MsgBox "Only select one cell at a time" End If Next i End Sub Sub WaitSeconds(seconds As Double) Dim endTime As Double endTime = Timer + seconds Do While Timer < endTime DoEvents LoopEnd Sub 

Experience the exclusive Yosemite Private Hummer Tour, featuring lunch, transfers, and historical insights, as you immerse yourself in the beauty and history of Yosemite National Park.

Introduction to Yosemite Private Hummer Tour

Embark on an extraordinary adventure through Yosemite National Park with the exclusive private Hummer 4X4 tour, offering a unique and personalized exploration of the park's natural wonders. This exceptional tour not only includes a gourmet picnic lunch and convenient transfers but also provides a profound insight into Yosemite's rich history, making it an ideal choice for travelers seeking a truly immersive experience. By opting for this private Hummer excursion, visitors can expect VIP treatment that goes above and beyond, ensuring a memorable and enlightening tour of Yosemite's most captivating sights and stories.
In the realm of private tours in Yosemite National Park, the Hummer 4X4 tour stands out as a top-tier experience that caters to those looking for a blend of luxury, comfort, and educational value during their park exploration. As guests traverse the stunning landscapes and iconic landmarks aboard the rugged Hummer 4X4 vehicle, they not only witness the grandeur of Yosemite but also delve into the historical significance behind each stop, thanks to the knowledgeable guides accompanying them on this remarkable journey. This tour transcends mere sightseeing, serving as a gateway to the essence of Yosemite, promising an unparalleled adventure that is both enlightening and entertaining for all participants.
The private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park is meticulously crafted to offer an exclusive and personalized experience for travelers seeking a deeper connection with the park's beauty and history. One of the standout features of this tour is the exceptional level of service provided to guests, ensuring that every aspect of their journey is seamlessly executed with attention to detail. From the moment guests are picked up for the tour to the moment they are dropped off, the focus remains on delivering a premium experience that exceeds expectations. This commitment to excellence sets the private Hummer tour apart as the epitome of luxury and sophistication in exploring Yosemite National Park.

History and Significance of Yosemite National Park

Yosemite National Park, established in 1890, holds a storied past that dates back over a century, solidifying its position as one of the oldest national parks in the United States. Its UNESCO World Heritage Site designation in 1984 further underscores its global importance, recognizing the park's unique natural and cultural heritage. Throughout its history, Yosemite has attracted visionaries and conservationists who have played pivotal roles in its preservation, leaving a legacy that continues to inspire environmental stewardship worldwide.
The park's significance extends far beyond its stunning landscapes and iconic features. Serving as a haven for a diverse array of plant and animal species, including the awe-inspiring giant sequoias that tower over the forest, Yosemite showcases the intricate tapestry of nature within its borders. The presence of varied wildlife, from black bears to mule deer, further emphasizes the ecological importance of the park, highlighting the delicate balance of the ecosystem within its boundaries. By immersing oneself in the private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park, visitors not only witness the natural beauty of the park but also gain a profound appreciation for its historical and ecological significance, making Yosemite a cherished gem in the national park system.
Yosemite National Park's rich tapestry of history and significance is woven into every aspect of the private Hummer tour, offering guests a deeper understanding of the park's evolution over time. The tour guides often share anecdotes and stories about significant figures like John Muir and President Roosevelt, shedding light on their contributions to Yosemite's preservation and highlighting key moments in the park's past. By exploring these historical narratives firsthand during the tour, guests can forge a deeper connection with Yosemite's heritage and gain insights that enrich their overall park experience. This blend of natural beauty and historical context creates a multifaceted journey through Yosemite National Park that resonates with travelers seeking a comprehensive and enlightening adventure.

Private Hummer 4X4 Tour Itinerary

The private Hummer 4X4 tour of Yosemite National Park presents an exclusive and tailored itinerary that allows guests to delve into the park's beauty and history in a personalized manner. A highlight of the tour is the visit to Glacier Point overlook, renowned for its sweeping panoramic views of Yosemite Valley, Half Dome, and Yosemite Falls. This stop provides guests with a breathtaking perspective of the park, immersing them in its grandeur and offering photo opportunities that capture the essence of Yosemite's iconic landscapes.
In addition to Glacier Point, the tour includes stops at The Pioneer Village History Center, where guests can engage with exhibits and demonstrations that showcase the cultural heritage of the region. This historical site offers a window into Yosemite's past, illustrating the traditions and lifestyles of early settlers in the area. By incorporating these significant landmarks into the itinerary, the private Hummer tour ensures that travelers not only appreciate the park's natural beauty but also gain a deeper understanding of its historical and cultural roots. This blend of natural wonders and cultural insights creates a multifaceted tour experience that appeals to guests seeking a comprehensive exploration of Yosemite National Park.
When crafting the itinerary for the private Hummer tour, tour operators carefully curate each stop to provide guests with a well-rounded and engaging journey through Yosemite National Park. The inclusion of optional hiking experiences allows visitors to immerse themselves in the park's wilderness, exploring hidden trails and scenic vistas that showcase Yosemite's diverse landscapes. By offering these opportunities for outdoor adventure, the tour caters to guests seeking a more active and hands-on exploration of the park, providing a deeper connection with nature and a heightened sense of discovery. This blend of sightseeing and outdoor activities ensures that the private Hummer tour appeals to a wide range of interests and preferences, making it a versatile and enriching experience for all participants.

Lunch Options and Dietary Accommodations

Delve into the culinary delights of the private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park, where a gourmet picnic lunch awaits guests amidst the breathtaking landscapes of the park. The tour ensures quality and variety in the lunch offerings, catering to different dietary needs and preferences to provide a satisfying dining experience for all participants. Whether guests have specific dietary requirements or special requests, the tour strives to accommodate their preferences, ensuring that everyone can enjoy a delicious meal while surrounded by Yosemite's natural wonders.
For those looking to savor local flavors, the lunch options often feature fresh and locally sourced ingredients that highlight the region's culinary offerings. Imagine relishing a gourmet sandwich crafted with artisan bread, complemented by crisp, farm-fresh salads, and delectable desserts that elevate the dining experience. Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or other dietary restrictions are thoughtfully considered, with flavorful alternatives that cater to diverse palates and preferences. This attention to detail in the lunch offerings not only ensures a satisfying meal but also enhances the overall ambiance of the dining experience, creating a memorable picnic amidst the splendor of Yosemite National Park.
The presentation of the picnic lunch is thoughtfully executed to elevate the dining experience, transforming it into a memorable moment of the tour. Picture unwrapping a carefully prepared lunch package at a scenic overlook, with the iconic Half Dome or Yosemite Falls as your backdrop, making every bite a sensory delight that complements the stunning vistas. This thoughtful approach to dining not only nourishes guests during their exploration but also adds a touch of elegance and indulgence to the overall tour experience, creating a culinary journey that mirrors the natural beauty and sophistication of Yosemite National Park.

Hotel Pickup and Drop-off Locations

When booking the private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park, guests can take advantage of the convenient hotel pickup and drop-off services available at various locations. Whether staying in Oakhurst, Fish Camp, Mariposa, or El Portal, the tour ensures that guests are seamlessly transported to and from their accommodations, eliminating the need to worry about logistics. This door-to-door service adds a layer of comfort and convenience to the tour, allowing guests to focus on enjoying their exploration of Yosemite's stunning landscapes without the hassle of arranging transportation.
The flexibility in pickup times offered by the tour operator caters to the diverse schedules and preferences of guests, ensuring a personalized and stress-free experience. Whether guests prefer an early morning start to catch the sunrise over Yosemite Valley or a later pickup time to align with their itinerary, the private Hummer tour accommodates these requests with professionalism and efficiency. By providing this level of customization in hotel pickup and drop-off, the tour sets the stage for a seamless and enjoyable journey through Yosemite National Park, allowing guests to relax and immerse themselves in the beauty of the surroundings without logistical concerns.

Child Safety Measures and Family-Friendly Features

Ensuring the safety and comfort of children is a top priority during the private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park. The tour adheres to specific safety regulations, including the mandatory use of car seats and booster seats for younger participants, guaranteeing a secure and worry-free journey through the park. For instance, children of varying ages or heights may require a car seat or booster seat to comply with safety standards and regulations, providing peace of mind to parents and guardians throughout the tour.
In addition to the safety measures in place, the family-friendly features of the private Hummer tour cater to the needs and preferences of young travelers, enhancing their overall experience. The tour often incorporates special activities and amenities tailored to engage children, such as interactive educational sessions about the park's wildlife and history or fun scavenger hunts that keep them entertained and excited during the journey. By combining safety with entertainment, the private Hummer tour ensures that families can create lasting memories together in the stunning landscapes of Yosemite National Park, fostering a sense of adventure and discovery for guests of all ages.
The private Hummer tour's commitment to providing a family-friendly experience extends to the guides and staff, who are dedicated to creating a welcoming and engaging environment for young travelers. These knowledgeable guides often engage children in educational discussions about the park's flora, fauna, and history, fostering a sense of curiosity and exploration that resonates with young minds. By encouraging interactive learning and discovery, the tour aims to inspire a lifelong appreciation for nature and conservation in children, instilling values of stewardship and environmental responsibility that are integral to Yosemite National Park's legacy.

Cancellation Policy and Refund Process

Understanding the flexibility offered by the private Hummer tour's cancellation policy is essential for guests planning their Yosemite National Park adventure. The tour allows for a full refund if canceled up to 24 hours in advance, providing guests with the freedom to adjust their plans without financial repercussions. This policy ensures that travelers can book their experience with confidence, knowing that they have the flexibility to make changes if unexpected circumstances arise.
To streamline the refund process and ensure clarity for guests, the private Hummer tour outlines the steps required to request a refund and the timeframe within which travelers can expect their reimbursement. By providing transparent and detailed information on the cancellation policy and refund process, the tour prioritizes customer satisfaction and aims to deliver a seamless booking experience for all participants. This commitment to transparency and customer service underscores the tour operator's dedication to ensuring a positive and stress-free journey through Yosemite National Park for all guests.

Traveler Reviews and Testimonials

Exploring Visitor Experiences
Travelers who have embarked on the private Hummer tour of Yosemite National Park have shared their firsthand experiences, offering valuable insights and feedback on the tour. Many guests have lauded the tour guides for their extensive knowledge of the park's history and geography, enriching the tour with engaging narratives and educational content. A reviewer commended the guide's ability to weave captivating stories about Yosemite's past, bringing the park's heritage to life and creating a memorable and immersive experience for guests. These anecdotes not only educate but also entertain, adding depth and context to the overall tour experience.
Personalized Service and Memorable Moments
Among the common themes in traveler reviews are expressions of appreciation for the personalized service provided during the private Hummer tour. Guests often highlight the guides' attentiveness to individual needs and preferences, creating a bespoke experience that caters to each group's unique interests. For instance, a review praised the guide for accommodating a special request for a scenic lunch spot overlooking Yosemite Falls, showcasing the dedication to creating unforgettable moments for guests. This commitment to personalized care and exceptional service contributes to the tour's stellar reputation and positive reviews from those who have explored Yosemite National Park in the comfort of a private Hummer.
The testimonials from previous guests underscore the tour's ability to create lasting memories and forge meaningful connections with Yosemite's natural beauty and history. Guests often mention the transformative nature of the private Hummer tour, with some describing it as a once-in-a-lifetime experience that deepened their appreciation for the park's wonders. By immersing themselves in the stories and landscapes of Yosemite National Park through the private Hummer tour, travelers leave with a sense of awe and inspiration that lingers long after the tour concludes, underscoring the lasting impact of this exceptional exploration of one of America's most treasured national parks.

Pricing Structure and Inclusions

When evaluating the pricing structure of the private Hummer tour package in Yosemite National Park, guests can gain insight into the value and offerings that make this experience exceptional. The tour package typically encompasses a private tour in a 4X4 Hummer, ensuring an exclusive and personalized journey away from the crowds. Travelers can enjoy the convenience of hotel pickup and drop-off, streamlining the logistics of the day and allowing them to focus on the beauty of Yosemite's landscapes. Additionally, bottled water is provided throughout the tour, keeping guests refreshed and hydrated as they explore the park's natural wonders.
The tour price often covers a delectable picnic lunch, offering guests a culinary experience amidst the stunning vistas of Yosemite National Park. The lunch options are varied and cater to different dietary preferences, ensuring that all guests can enjoy a satisfying meal during their adventure. For those seeking to enhance their experience further, optional upgrades may be available for an additional cost. These upgrades could include activities such as hiking, providing a deeper immersion into the natural beauty of Yosemite, or visits to specific historical sites within the park that enrich the overall tour experience. By offering these optional enhancements, the private Hummer tour allows travelers to customize their journey to align with their interests and preferences, creating a truly personalized and unforgettable experience in Yosemite National Park.

Comparison with Alternative Tour Options

The private Hummer tour distinguishes itself by providing an exclusive adventure away from the typical tourist crowds, with a maximum of only five travelers per tour. This intimate setting allows guests to enjoy a secluded and serene experience amidst Yosemite's breathtaking landscapes, fostering a deeper connection with nature and the park's natural wonders. The tranquility and exclusivity of the private Hummer tour create a sense of immersion and tranquility that sets it apart from larger group excursions, allowing guests to savor a peaceful and enriching journey through Yosemite National Park. By choosing the private Hummer tour, visitors can escape the hustle and bustle of traditional tours and embrace a unique and secluded experience that unfolds in harmony with the natural splendor of Yosemite.
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Im importing data and the names are coming in ugly. I'm looking at MLB team names. For instance the Seattle Mariners come in as "10Seattle MarinersMariners10". The number refers to what rank the team is for what ever it was sorted on the website for (I think but its not relevant). I'm trying to reduce the names to abbreviations (Seattle Mariners to SEA) so they are easy to pull up later. I'm trying to write a macro that finds the name and replaces it but since the rank will change I cant add that to search and replace. How do I replace the whole cell. Right now my code looks like this:

Sub Rename_SEA() ActiveSheet.Range("A:A").Replace "Seattle MarinersMariners", "SEA" End Sub 

and the result is "10SEA10" but I just want it to be "SEA". Sorry if this has been answered before this is my first project using VBA and I've been googling and cant find the right solution.

Hi all, I am having a formatting issue in my excel table. Some cells have permanent black borders that I cannot seem to remove. I have tried:

• Checking if the grid is on.
• Using the “erase borders” tool.
• Selecting the “no borders” preset for these sections.

The pdf print preview shows the unwanted borders. Any help is greatly appreciated!

I have been revamping my company's excel-based proposal estimator over the past few months, and I was dead-set on having a button to add X number (user-filled cell) of rows into the table instead of scrolling through 200-300 unused rows when most of our bids have 30 items of less.
I am completely self-taught for all things coding/VBA in the past year, and pretty much every suggestion I ran into on Google was that running a loop of
ActiveSheet.ListObjects("TableName").ListRows.Add AlwaysInsert:=True
was the only option to add multiple.
Which is fine, if you're just adding a few rows. But again, when we need to add rows it can be 50+ and even with ScreenUpdating and Calculation turned off it was still taking upwards of 1 second per row.
​
So, here's the solution I came up with!
Made a new worksheet and copied one of my table rows into it so it would have the formulas, then dragged it down to autofill to row 1000-something. And used the following code that is activated by button click:
Sub AddRows()
Application.ScreenUpdating = False Application.Calculation = xlCalculationManual Dim RowVal As String
RowVal = ActiveSheet.Range("RowAdd").Value 'RowAdd is a Named cell where users enter how many rows they want added
Sheets("Copy").Rows("1:" & RowVal).EntireRow.Copy
Sheets("Destination").Range("AddAbove").Insert Shift:=xlDown 'AddAbove is a Named cell in the row BELOW the last row in the table
ActiveSheet.ListObjects("TableName").Resize ActiveSheet.ListObjects("TableName").Range.Resize(ActiveSheet.ListObjects("TableName").Range.Rows.Count + RowVal)
Application.Calculation = xlCalculationAutomatic
Application.ScreenUpdating = True
End Sub
​
I know it's visually clunky since I didn't use many variables, but it will add 200 rows in about 10 seconds whereas the loop I had before was almost a minute to add 50 rows!
​
(Wanted to add that I didn't know about ListObjects().Resize until I was building this solution yesterday, but it wouldn't have worked for me anyway because there's a bunch of other stuff below the Estimator table)

I am trying to edit and annotate a json file manually: I need to add a new column and the just add a value like true or false or something else manually to every cell. So I need to work in the json file quickly like in excel. what's the best way to do it? Data wrangler in vs code seems an easy way to manipulate large amounts of data but can I easily just edit single cells there?

Hello Skyfarers! This is potentially the last edition of the Sigil Tracker.
​
Unfortunately this update removed all convention of normal sigil tracking as now we can have Double of the same color and Pink+ sigils and Purple+ sigils as well! sadly my Excel and Sheets knowledge is limited and I don't know how to link cells so if you are going to use this new tracker you'll have to update both iterations on the sheet. I'm so sorry to make it complicated but if anyone knows how to link cells to where they can share a value and be edited together please let me know and I'll redo the whole thing :)
Also with this update I changed the limits to allow for the most restrictive. Previously, I had the limit set to whatever the secondary skill was. Example if you had lucky charge and uplift I set the limit to 3 since uplift was level 45 max even though lucky charge stops at 20. This didn't make sense with the 5000 sigil limit so I changed the values to be the most restrictive instead so 1 limit for Lucky Charge Uplift combo.
​
Lastly the character sigils page is updated to reflect Warpath sigil combos and the addition of Sandalphon's sigils have been added as well. Please let me know if Warpath sigils can get character specific skills to cause I haven't seen that combo yet but if so I'll have to add an update the sigil tracker again for that.
​
Big update and I tried to get the tracker out to the maybe 5 of you that use it as fast and as accurately as I could while at work. Thank you to all the Skyfarers out there who helped with my questions and will help me clear Zero in the future.
​
Remember copy the sheet then you can edit the copy! Happy Tracking.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wmouZpIHfLfIz2O9cJvIl1xrRMw3B0oXMTehneINLqU/edit?usp=sharing

Recently I've been building an Excel add-in that automates the creation of debt waterfalls which is something I do regularly in my line of work that's very time consuming. As a super basic example, if I need to calculate floating interest for a tranche of debt, I enter the base rate and credit spread into the form and it pushes "=base_rate_address+credit_spread_address" into my desired cell. It does A LOT more than this, but that's a basic example.
I've learned a lot in this process and am looking for inspiration and what formula creation workflows I should create next.
What are formulas that you're regularly writing in Excel that are time consuming?
I have some other ideas that are also LBO-modeling related, but I'm curious if there are pain points that impact a broader audience that I could work on solving based on my recent learnings.
As long as there's some logic tree associated with the formula creation (i.e., If interest is floating, calculate rate as base + spread), then I can automate the formula creation and put it in the target cell based on a form in the add-in.

Hello! I am a lawyer who learned basic Excel out of curiosity and now works with Excel every day. In my current job, they noticed my basic Excel skills (which, from their point of view, are magic, lol) and assigned me to organize a lot of data (essentially organizing legal cases, creating logs for case records, their movements, deadlines, etc.).
I've been thinking about implementing some things to make life easier for others: like creating simple word documents based on the Excel data, consolidating data from all workbooks into one massive workbook, or sending an automatic email when a certain cell's date is approaching, etc.
What would you recommend I learn now to implement these ideas? I've been thinking about studying VBA, Power BI, or Python, but I'm not sure where to start.
We use excel via sharepoint (in case that changes anything).
I did the coursera of Excel Skills for Business Specialization and that's how i learned basic excel.

Throughout the laboratories that are situated around the world, it’s crucial for them to achieve precise measurements for the success of scientific experiments and research. One prominent tool that has been showing remarkable excellence in ensuring accuracy is the pipette. Whether in a biomedical lab, a pharmaceutical industry, or an environmental testing facility, pipettes are becoming an inseparable tool that’s counted as the liquid handling instrument. Here, you’ll get to know about the different types of pipettes, their applications, and what role they play in advancing scientific research and technological development.

What is a Pipette?

A pipette is a laboratory instrument used to transport a measured volume of liquid. They come in various sizes and types, each designed for specific tasks. The primary function of a pipette used in laboratory is to ensure the accurate and precise transfer of liquids, which is crucial for reproducibility and reliability in experiments.

Importance of Pipettes

The importance of pipettes in scientific research and laboratory work cannot be overstated. Their ability to deliver precise and accurate measurements ensures the reliability and reproducibility of experimental results. Similarly, advancements in pipette technology, such as electronic and multi-channel pipettes, have increased efficiency and throughput in many laboratories.
It’s also crucial to use the proper pipette technique in your experiments. This way, it will remove errors in pipetting that can lead to significant variations in experimental outcomes. More so, training and pipette calibration are essential to maintain the accuracy and performance of these equipment.

Types of Pipettes

1. Glass Pipettes:
   • Volumetric Pipettes: These are designed for accurate measurement of a single, fixed volume of liquid. They are often used in analytical chemistry.
   • Graduated Pipettes: These have a series of marks along their length, allowing the user to measure different volumes. They are versatile but generally less accurate than volumetric pipettes.
2. Micropipettes:
   • Single-Channel Pipettes: Used for transferring small volumes of liquid, typically in the range of microliters. They are widely used in molecular biology and biochemistry labs.
   • Multi-Channel Pipettes: These have multiple tips and are used for transferring liquids into multi-well plates, commonly used in high-throughput screening and cell culture.
3. Electronic Pipettes:
   • These offer higher precision and automation compared to manual pipettes. They can be programmed for various dispensing protocols, making them ideal for complex and repetitive tasks.

Applications of Pipettes

1. Biomedical Research:
   • DNA/RNA Analysis: Pipettes are used for tasks such as PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction) setup, gel electrophoresis, and sequencing. Accurate liquid handling is crucial for the reproducibility of these experiments.
   • Cell Culture: In cell biology, pipettes are used to transfer media, add reagents, and handle cell suspensions. Maintaining sterile conditions and precise measurements is vital.
2. Pharmaceutical Industry:
   • Drug Development: Pipettes play a key role in the formulation and testing of new drugs. They are used for diluting samples, mixing compounds, and transferring solutions in various assays.
   • Quality Control: Ensuring the consistency and quality of pharmaceutical products involves precise measurement and handling of ingredients and solutions.
3. Clinical Laboratories:
   • Diagnostics: Pipettes are used for preparing samples for diagnostic tests, including blood tests, ELISA (Enzyme-Linked Immunosorbent Assay), and other immunoassays. Accurate sample preparation is essential for reliable results.
   • Microbiology: In microbiology labs, pipettes are used to transfer microbial cultures, prepare dilutions, and add reagents to growth media.
4. Environmental Science:
   • Water Testing: Pipettes are used to measure and transfer water samples for testing contaminants, pH levels, and other environmental parameters.
   • Soil Analysis: In soil science, pipettes help in the preparation of soil extracts and solutions for various chemical analyses.

I want to distribute a given total amount among multiple cells where a variable assigned to the cells has different maximum capacities. A real world example of this is having a certain total volume of liquid that needs to be poured among different sizes of the same type of container. The total volume of liquid to be poured among each container is equal to or less than the total volume capacity of the container type. Each container must be filled to capacity before moving on and the last container filled will either contain less than it's max capacity or could contain it's max capacity. There may be empty containers if the total liquid volume runs out before moving to the end of the group of that container type. I have an Index/Match/Min formula that will work in every instance except where the total liquid volume is the exact same amount for two different types of containers. Here is the excel representation of the example I mention:
 

	A	B	C	D	E	F	G
1	CONTAINER TYPE	CONTAINER NUMBER (FILL ORDER)	TOTAL VOLUME TO DISTIBUTE TO CONTAINER TYPE	CONTAINER MAX CAPACITY	DESIRED DISTRIBUTION AMOUNT (MANUAL CALC)	MY CALCULATION (FORMULA)	DIFFERENCE
2	BOTTLE	1	23.628	6.25	6.25	6.25	0
3	BOTTLE	2	23.628	7.58	7.58	7.58	0
4	BOTTLE	3	23.628	9.876	9.798	9.798	0
5	BOTTLE	4	23.628	2.3	0	0	0
6	BOWL	1	1.93496	1.52102	1.52102	1.93496	0
7	BOWL	2	1.93496	1.47	0.41394	0.41394	0
8	BOWL	3	1.93496	6.3	0	0	0
9	CUP	1	1.93496	1.52102	1.52102	1.52102	0
10	CUP	2	1.93496	5	0.41394	-1.52102	-1.93496

 
The formula in cell F2 is:

=IF(A1<>A2,MIN(C2,D2),MIN(C2-SUM(INDEX(F:F,MATCH(C2,C:C,0)):F1),D2)) 

The total volume in column C represents the total per container type, displayed this way for ease of calculation. Notice this amount for the bowls and cups in rows 6-10 is the same, causing my issue shown in the last cell of column G due to the formula keying off this amount exclusively in the Match part of the formula.
Is there either a better formula to use or something I can add to the above formula to further differentiate the different types of containers that have the exact same distribution amount? Thank you!

Hello everyone!
Really trying to figure out to go about this, so here's what I am working with:

• Each excel file has multiple tabs listing out different types of information such as name, temperature, classification, notes, etc.
• The temperature name could be on cell A2, but the answer is listed on B2
• There could be multiple names and answers on a given row, each in their respective cell
• There could be the name Notes listed on A15, but the info I want to grab for it is from A16 to E20.
• All excel files might not be uniform where one file's 2nd row shows classification, but another excel file's 2nd row shows name.
• I am working with both text and numbers

Is there a way to extract all this data to be clean and used on one excel sheet using power query? Would I have to write a specific vba script for something like this? Do I have to use something else like python?
I'm more than happy to answer any questions if needed, thank you!

Imagine a really simple table:

PartName	vendor 1	vendor 2
1/4" bolt	27	19
1/4" nut	27
1/4" washer	16	27
1/4" lockwasher	16	19

Because of regional issues, I have a bunch of parts, and different vendors are the "primary" vendor in a specific region, and a backup supplier in a different region.
This data is all in csv files, pulled into a table in excel by region.
Occasionally, I need to look at all the data that vendor 27 supplies to us, but currently, I filter the vendor 1 field to 27, which shows me of course, rows 1 and 2. Then I have to run the analysis again, but this time select all for vendor 1, and limit vendor 2 to 27, which gets me row 3. (By filter, I mean, click the top of the column, and change the selection to 27, etc, not from VBA).
What I really want to do, but have no idea how in power query or with a VBA filter is to have a cell in a sheet somewhere, where I just put in the vendor number I'm interested in, and it will "filter" the table data to any row where that vendor number appears in any of the related columns.
I am mildly proficient at the basics of VBA, but not so much at the table/power query stuff, although I could bang out a SQL query that could do it in a heartbeat.
But I really just want to type "27" in cell $A$1 somewhere, and shazam, after I hit the little "process" button, it applies some mojo and filters the table to make row 4 hidden, and rows 1-3 visible.
I could iterate over all the table data manually, but it seems like something that something ripe for the query language. Just no idea how. There's 35000 rows to iterate over, so that just seems slow. I thought about just dumping out the data, process it in perl or python and read it back in, but again, that feels like a lame solution.
Any tips appreciated.

I am trying to edit and annotate a json file manually: I need to add a new column and the just add a value like true or false or something else manually to every cell. So I need to work in the json file quickly like in excel. what's the best way to do it? Data wrangler in vs code seems an easy way to manipulate large amounts of data but can I easily just edit single cells there?