Infants lesson plans based on creative curriculum

:Creating a community of educators

2018.01.18 23:03 Jvockler :Creating a community of educators

Teachers have it hard enough already, to expect everyone to make up their own curriculum is just another task that is too much to ask. This page will provide a place to share your ideas and curriculum with others and will be a resource for people to come to for free materials and help on lesson plans.
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2013.04.22 07:50 Peer support for creating GSM (gender and sexual minorities) inclusive classrooms.

A safe place to discuss personal and professional concerns, to seek advice and support needed for teaching self-identified LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queequestioning) students, and to offer curriculum ideas on including LGBTQ studies into everyday lesson plans.
[link]

2018.01.06 00:57 farstod Bitschool

BitSchool will help education providers and learners create optimal curriculum plans based on accurate assessment of the learners’ understanding of courses, identify and address knowledge gaps most effectively, and gauge the learners’ true performances through automated adaptive exams. The BitSchool blockchain will form an Intellectual Property System for educational contents creators to trace contents transactions and get paid. Twitter @BitschoolAI Facebook https://www.facebook.com/BitschoolAI
[link]

2024.06.04 21:38 Legal_Ad4143 25%off huge list A-Z and $30 meta cash for new devices / less then 45 days old

25% off games Full list
Need a different game? DM me. Over 200 25% discount codes only 4000 characters/post. For an instant $30 device referral claim@ https://www.meta.com/referrals/link/JJtheoutlaw. You need to claim before linking your account to Quest. If you have been using Quest for 45 days without claiming the $30 then you need to use the phone app. Go to Menu tab, Devices , headset settings, reset the device. Click the referral. Now start quest normally. You will now have $30 and can redownload games and resume where you left off
After the Fall -Dive into a post-apocalyptic world overrun by ferocious monsters. Grab your friends and gear up for intense co-op action https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2160364850746031/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Angry Birds VR -Great adaptation to the franchise https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2718606324833775/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Arizona Sunshine -Best zombie game Franchise. With realistic weapon mechanics and terrifying undead hordes, every moment is a fight for survival.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2190353671014400/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Arizona Sunshine 2 Must have a shooter. The sequel to the acclaimed VR shooter brings even more thrills and chills https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5245041552210029/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Asguards Wrath 2 - Finally a finished polished game after all the meta updates https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2603836099654226/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Audio Trip -Top-rated Cardio Dance Game. Get ready to groove and move to the beat in this electrifying rhythm game https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2484044451715693/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Bonelab -The player uses physical combat, including firearms, melee weapons, and bare hands, to fight enemies ranging from robots to humans. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4215734068529064/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
BRINK Traveler -Embark on a breathtaking journey through stunning landscapes and exotic locales. The closest thing to teleportation https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3635172946605196/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Barbaria Enter a world of sword and sorcery in this epic fantasy adventure. Battle fierce monsters, uncover ancient mysteries, and become the hero of legend.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5296016923775393/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Beat Saber - Classic must-have rhythm music game. Slice and dice your way through pulsating beats and neon landscapes in this rhythm-based VR sensation https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2448060205267927/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Block Buster - Test your reflexes and puzzle-solving skills in this addictive block-breaking game. With colorful graphics and challenging levels, you'll be hooked for hours on end.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4310142359062337/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Breachers - Top-rated shooter. Step into the shoes of a futuristic soldier and engage in fast-paced combat against hordes of enemies. With adrenaline-pumping action and intense firefights, every battle is a thrill ride.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5740397619319389/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Contractors - Top-rated shooter Immerse yourself in realistic military simulations and tactical warfare. With a wide range of weapons and maps, you'll experience VR's most authentic FPS action.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5740397619319389/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Crazy Kung Fu - Highly recommend. Channel your inner martial artist and unleash your fury in this action-packed kung fu adventure. Master ancient techniques and defeat your opponents with style.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3846153838783795/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Crisis Brigade 2 - Like the classic arcade game but so much better in VR. Realistic gunplay and challenging scenarios, every decision counts in the fight against crime.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5081572398619813/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Dead Hook - Top Rated. Amazing game play. Highly Recommend https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/8896303273744663/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Down the Rabbit Hole - Amazing game loved every second of it, and could not put it down. Journey into the whimsical world of Wonderland in this charming VR puzzle adventure. Solve puzzles, meet quirky characters, and discover the secrets of Wonderland. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2476104599150595/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Eleven Table Tennis -Played them all, this is the best Table Tennis/Ping Pong VR https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/1995434190525828/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Espire 1: VR Operative -Elite spy stealth action shooter. With cutting-edge gadgets and intense missions, https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2228678273856228/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Espire 2: Stealth Operatives -The sequel to the acclaimed VR stealth game brings even more espionage thrills and challenges. Sneak, hack, and eliminate your targets in heart-pounding global missions.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3529713943716002/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Eye of the Temple -Embark on an Indiana Jones-style adventure as you explore ancient temples filled with traps and puzzles. With room-scale VR gameplay, every step is a challenge and every discovery is a thrill.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5361030930653377/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
ForeVR Pool - Do you want to play VR pool solo or with friends? This is the best option in the quest store https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4760607174068295/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Golf+ - Best Golf Game / Sim. Realistic physics and challenging courses from all around the world (being constantly updated with new parks). great multiplayer. Also has cool challenges, driving ranges and top golf https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2412327085529357/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Gorn - Enter the arena and engage in brutal gladiatorial combat in this over-the-top VR brawler. With exaggerated physics and comically violent gameplay, it's a wild and chaotic experience from start to finish.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3349689215139117/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Guardians: Frontline - Amazing shooter with intense action and strategic gameplay. Can be very difficult https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5380153758692064/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Gun Club VR - Lock and load in this ultra-realistic VR shooting range simulator. With various firearms and customizable options, it's the ultimate test of marksmanship skills.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2285803881494677/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
In Death: Unchained -In bowels of purgatory and battle demonic creatures in this dark, atmospheric VR roguelike. Procedurally generated levels and challenging enemies, every run is a fresh and intense experience.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2334376869949242/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Into The Radius -Immersive environments and realistic mechanics, it's a haunting and immersive journey into the unknown.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5817243991680545/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Keep Talking & Nobody Explodes -Award winning multiplayer game. Be the life of the party and play with friends even with one headset https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2010043642376517/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Larcenauts -Amazing multiplayer. If you like overwatch you will enjoy, Fast-paced multiplayer battles. Diverse cast of characters and dynamic gameplay. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3126295830741280/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Lucky's Tale -Good game if you like the moss series then this is you will like this. that being said if you haven't played both Moss games you are missing out. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3652037328256745/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Moss -Embark on an epic quest alongside a brave mouse named Quill in this enchanting VR adventure. With stunning visuals and immersive storytelling, it's a tale you won't soon forget.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/1654565391314903/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Moss: Book II -The sequel to the acclaimed VR adventure continues Quill's journey in a new and exciting chapter. With more puzzles, challenges, and mysteries to uncover, it's a must-play for fans of the original.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4395292760584049/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Nano -Dive into the microscopic world of nanotechnology in this immersive VR experience. Explore the wonders of the nano realm and discover the incredible potential of this cutting-edge technology. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5566073043488552/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Onward -Engage in intense military simulations and tactical warfare in this realistic VR shooter. With strategic gameplay and teamwork-focused mechanics, it's a must-play for fans of hardcore FPS games.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2677344882310094/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Paradiddle -One of the best and most versatile drum games/sim, works with MIDI and there are many ways to enhance your set (I stomp on an old keyboard for double bass peddles lol) https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5719805344724551/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Pistol Whip -Top Rated. Amazing game, i hesitated on buying for a while but was instantly hooked. A game that can be picked up and replayed at any time. Daily and weekly updated challenges. Alot of customization. Varying difficulty can be simple for everyone to challenge even for competitive players https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2104963472963790/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Powerbeats VR -Highly rated fitness game. Get ready to sweat in this high-energy VR fitness game. With dynamic workouts and motivating music, it's the perfect way to stay active and have fun at the same time https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4336749139724039/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Premium Bowling -If you are looking for bowling, then this is the Best Bowling Game. It's like having your own personal bowling alley at home. I enjoy it because it's so easy to meet up with other people so i end up bowling with family more then calling them (mics work in-game) https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2773034772778845/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Puzzling Places -Best puzzle game if you like jigsaw puzzles. This will give you unique 3d challenges with amazing results. Beautiful landscapes and intricate designs, it's the perfect way to unwind and challenge your mind. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3931148300302917/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Real VR Fishing -Best Fishing VR Game. Constantly updated. It is great on a rainy day when you want to relax and catch fish all over the world. The devs are constantly adding new places and tournaments https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2582932495064035/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Red Matter 2 -Top Rated. Great game that takes place on Saturn's moon. Stunning visuals and great gameplay, it's a sci-fi experience that will leave you breathless. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3682089508520212/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Resident Evil 4 -Top Rated. No explanation is needed. If you like shooters, zombies, or great story lines this is an amazing game. Also, the graphics are the best I've seen yet even better when played on pcvr (which you receive for free when you own the regular quest game) https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2637179839719680/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Robo Recall: Unplugged -Fun arcade type shooter. Jump into the chaos and unleash mayhem as a futuristic robot in this action-packed VR shooter. With fast-paced gameplay and explosive action, it's a wild ride from start to finish.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/1906871599408213/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
SUPERHOT VR -Amazing classic Game. Time moves only when you move. Unique art style works well with gameplay https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/1921533091289407/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Sairento VR: Untethered -Top Rated. Become a cybernetic ninja and unleash acrobatic mayhem in this adrenaline-fueled VR action game. With dynamic combat and customizable abilities, it's a high-octane thrill ride through a neon-soaked cyberpunk world https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2299215130112875/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Smash Drums - Enjoy rockband-type games, get this! Beat to the rhythm and smash your way through challenging drumming levels in this energetic VR music game. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3630025217090808/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Star Wars: Tales from the Galaxy's Edge -Step into the Star Wars universe and embark on thrilling adventures in this immersive VR experience. With iconic characters and epic storylines, it's a must-play for fans of the galaxy far, far away https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3484270071659289/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Survival Nation -You have to fight for survival in a post-apocalyptic world filled with danger and zombies. Amazing multiplayer, Everyone always has a lot of talk that when the zombie apocalypse comes they are prepared well can you survive a post-apocalyptic world? Lets put it to the test https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/6198564290223186/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Swordsman -Great gladiator game. Channel your inner warrior and master the art of swordsmanship in this action-packed VR game. Precise combat mechanics and epic battles https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4478419005520485/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Synth Riders -The best dance game in the meta store that is guaranteed to give you a workout. Groove to the beat and ride the rhythm in this electrifying VR music game. Vibrant visuals and intuitive gameplay, it's a dance party like no other https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2436558143118760/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Tennis Esports -BEST TENNIS GAME. Do you want to play VR Tennis? Look no further https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4872542182873415/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
The Last Clockwinder -Award Winning. Embark on a magical journey through time in this enchanting VR puzzle adventure. With intricate mechanisms & charming visuals, it's a whimsical experience https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4837365566303714/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
The Walking Dead: Saints and Sinners -Top Rated. Survive the zombie apocalypse and make tough choices in this gripping VR survival game. With immersive storytelling and intense combat, it's a harrowing journey through the world of The Walking Dead https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2897337400373711/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
The Walking Dead: Saints and Sinners 2 Retribution -Top Rated. Return to the post-apocalyptic world and continue your fight for survival in this thrilling VR sequel. https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/5190288877703616/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Unplugged Air Guitar -If you like rockband/guitar hero type games then this will take your experience to the next level. Shred like a rockstar in this immersive VR air guitar simulator. With realistic guitar mechanics, hand tracking, and a killer soundtrack, it's a virtual jam session that will leave you feeling like a true rock legend.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4714094898617280/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Ven VR Adventure -Top Rated! Did you like moss? Cross of moss and the first spyro game. Embark on an epic quest through vibrant worlds and challenging obstacles in this exciting VR platformer https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3327317663977182/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Vermillion -VR Painting - Best Painting Game. i don't even paint but this has taught me a lot. also highly useful in mixed reality mode. Unleash your creativity and paint in 3D space with this innovative VR art tool. Endless possibilities and intuitive controls https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/4900967296622279/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Virtual Desktop -If you plan on using PCVR then virtual Desktop is a must-have app. Also makes games perform better by optimizing settings with a lot more control in the users hands https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2017050365004772/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Walkabout Mini Golf -A Must-Have Game! Tee off and sink some putts in this charming VR mini-golf game. With creative courses and fun multiplayer modes, it's a hole-in-one for fans of the classic sport.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2462678267173943/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Warplanes: Battles over the Pacific -Take to the skies and engage in thrilling aerial combat in this action-packed VR flight simulator. Realistic planes and intense dogfights. BEST FLIGHT SIM series in meta quest store.https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3984056454948095/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Warplanes: WWI Fighters Amazing sequel. 10 out of 10 for both gameshttps://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3922378427824210/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Yupitergrad -Swing, climb, and soar through a space station in this gravity-defying adventure. One of the most creative puzzle games since Portal 2 https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3622969487764448/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Zero Caliber: Reloaded- Intense ZOMBIE MODE, SINGLE PLAYER CAMPAIGN, CO-OP MODE, PvP GAME MODES, SURVIVAL MODE. MOD SUPPORT https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/3591949650852844/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
Zombieland: Headshot Fever -Top-rated and award-winning game. Never gets old https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/JJtheoutlaw/2792447070854325/?utm_source=oculus&utm_location=2&utm_parent=frl&utm_medium=app_referral
submitted by Legal_Ad4143 to MetaReferrals [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:31 ImaginationAlone8101 Tired of Fandom, but still want to write for it

Hello all, I just wanted to come on here and vent. I’d also like to preface that this isn’t for my fandom as a whole, but one specific ship. I write for it, but I’d say those stories are more exercises and challenge based than actually something I pour all of my creative energy into and am truly passionate about. I do love the pairing and I like the stories I have up, but I’m having a really hard time with certain people who ship them.
As a whole, I’d say there’s 20-30 fics that everyone raves about and some people compare every single thing written for that ship to, and when my stories don’t go how they planned or isn’t what they expected, I’ve realized that a lot of people will go out of their way to tell me that they are disappointed and DNF’ing.
Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot of positive feedback too and it outweighs the negative in a lot of cases! I think it’s mainly that the pairing is really taking off on social media, so lots of people unaware of the etiquette are finding things and treating it as something other than something I’m writing for free.
It’s also hard because those fics get more traction than my others do, so the fics that I DO put all of my creative energy into and aren’t something I want to challenge myself with by doing something I’m not great at don’t get as much feedback or attention.
Idk I just needed to vent because it’s like they’ll read one story where I challenged myself to write with a nonlinear timeline, and finish in under 175k words, call me a bad writer because of pacing issues or timeline confusion (which is what I was practicing) and then give up on everything else. (I say that fic because it’s almost at 10k hits and so it’s what most people have read)
I write for me and I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s discouraging some days 🥺 I am about to turn off comments for my stuff with that pairing because it’s just frustrating to deal with ☠️
Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk, and I know by posting that stuff I open myself up to criticism. It’s just not fun 🥲
submitted by ImaginationAlone8101 to FanFiction [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:27 Sweet-Count2557 Where To Travel With A 2 Month Old?

Where To Travel With A 2 Month Old?
Where To Travel With A 2 Month Old?
Planning a trip with an infant can seem daunting, but it doesn't have to be! With the right research and preparation, you can easily find a destination that's perfect for your 2 month old.
To help get you started, we've rounded up some of the best places to travel with a 2 month old. From beach vacations to cultural excursions, these destinations have everything you need for an unforgettable family vacation.
So Where To Travel With A 2 Month Old? pack your bags and let's get going!
Choosing The Right Destination
Planning a family vacation with an infant in tow can be a daunting task. But with the right research, and the right destination, you can create a fun and safe experience for everyone.
When selecting your travel spot, consider cultural differences and weather changes. If you’re looking for something close to home, think about a beach town along the east coast of Florida or pick an outdoor adventure in the Midwest.
If you want something more exotic, why not explore the historic sites in Rome or take a safari in Tanzania? No matter what you choose, be sure to plan ahead and pack accordingly. Don’t forget to bring extra blankets, diapers and formula; these are must-haves when traveling with an infant!
Think about the amount of time spent on flights or long car rides — will it be too much? Also keep in mind that infants need plenty of rest during the day so plan activities that don’t disrupt their sleep schedule too much.
With careful planning and preparation, you can ensure that everyone has an enjoyable trip.
Preparing For The Trip
When traveling with an infant, it's best to plan ahead. Researching flights and planning an itinerary are key for a successful journey.
Start by looking at flight prices - sometimes flying at off-peak times can save you money. Keep in mind that infants usually fly for free or discounted fares, so compare airlines to find the most cost-effective solution.
Make sure to plan your trip accordingly and build in some extra time for rest stops, diaper changes and other necessary activities. Consider scheduling layovers if your travel route is long or involves multiple airports. Also think about where you'll be staying during your trip – hotels that offer cribs or family sized rooms may be more suitable than other lodging options.
In order to make the most of your trip, be prepared with snacks, toys and other items that will make your little one feel comfortable and happy along the way.
Ask friends and family for their recommendations on places to visit or activities to do while traveling with a baby – this can help save you time researching things on your own!
Finding Accommodations
When it comes to planning a trip with an infant, the most important thing is to ensure that you have the right accommodations. As the old adage goes, 'Home is where the heart is'. Your accommodations should provide a safe and comfortable atmosphere for your family and your little one.
Here are some things to consider when choosing budget-friendly, baby-friendly accommodations:
Researching local laws: Before booking any accommodation, be sure that you research any local regulations regarding children's safety.
Choosing budget-friendly options: If you're on a tight budget, look for family-friendly hotels or other types of accommodation that offer discounts or packages for families traveling with infants.
Ensuring baby-friendly amenities: Make sure the accommodation offers amenities such as cribs or high chairs for infants.
Planning naps: When traveling with an infant, it's essential that you plan naps and bedtime accordingly so they can get enough restful sleep.
No matter where you choose to stay, it's important to make sure that it meets all of your family's needs and provides a safe environment for your little one. With thoughtful planning and preparation, you'll be able to find the perfect place to stay while traveling with an infant.
Packing Considerations
Traveling with an infant can be both exciting and daunting. To ensure a safe and comfortable experience, it's important to pack light but also make sure you have all the necessary items for your little one.
To help get started, here is a quick checklist of items that can help make traveling easier:
ComfortNecessityPacifieSoothersDiapers/NappyBlanket/SwaddleFormula/Breast Milk/BottlesStuffed Toy/Soft BookWipes & CreamsSnacks & Favourite FoodsBaby Carrier or Stroller
Having the right supplies can make all the difference when traveling with an infant. Taking care to pack the essentials - like diapers, wipes and formula - will help ensure a stress-free journey. It's also essential to consider comfort items that will keep your baby happy and content during travel. A favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal can be comforting companions as well as pacifiers that may help soothe during takeoffs and landings. Lastly, don’t forget snacks and favourite foods to keep energy levels up while on the go!
Traveling with an infant doesn't have to be overwhelming. With careful planning and packing of essential items that provide comfort and security, you can set out on your journey knowing you are prepared for whatever adventures await!
Health And Safety Precautions
When travelling with a 2 month old, having an infant car seat is essential for safety.
Making sure your baby is up to date with their vaccinations is also important for staying healthy.
Lastly, don't forget to pack sun protection for your little one, like hats and sunscreen!
Infant Car Seat
When it comes to traveling with a 2 month old, safety is the number one concern.
It’s important to know the car seat regulations for wherever you plan on visiting, and to make sure you have your infant's car seat securely installed in your vehicle before embarking on your journey.
For added peace of mind, here are some tips for parents when traveling with an infant: always use a rear-facing car seat; make sure the straps are tightly secured; and if possible, try to stick to routes that are more familiar and less congested so you can take extra caution.
With these travel tips in mind, you can rest assured that your little one will be safe and sound throughout your travels!
Vaccinations
Another important part of health and safety precautions when traveling with an infant is making sure they are up-to-date on their vaccinations.
Depending on where you're visiting, there are certain vaccine types that may be required or recommended; consult with your healthcare provider to make sure your baby's immunization schedule is on track.
It's also important to ensure that the necessary vaccines are administered at least two weeks prior to traveling in order to give them time to take effect.
Keeping these considerations in mind will help ensure a safe and healthy vacation for both you and baby!
Sun Safety
Once you and baby are all set with vaccinations, it's also important to think about sun safety!
Sunscreen protection is a must, especially for babies with sensitive skin. Make sure to pack waterproof sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher that's made for infants; this will help keep baby safe from harmful UV rays.
Additionally, use hats, sunglasses, and clothing to provide extra coverage when out in the sun. It's also important to monitor your baby's temperature when spending time outdoors to ensure they don't overheat.
With these tips in mind, you can be sure your family vacation is a fun and safe one!
Activities For 2 Month Olds
Taking a trip with a two month old can be an exciting and daunting experience. With the right planning, however, families can make the most of their time away and have an unforgettable vacation.
To ensure every little one has a safe and comfortable time, parents should take into account bathing options, meal planning, and activities for their two month old.
When it comes to bathing, there are plenty of options out there. For those who prefer traditional methods, they can find child-friendly tubs at many hotels or resorts. Another alternative is investing in a foldable baby bathtub which is easy to transport and use wherever you go. Before packing any supplies, parents should also research what items are available at their destination in order to save on space in their luggage.
Meal planning is equally important when travelling with a two month old. Parents should pack enough formula or breastmilk for the duration of the trip and look into local grocery stores for other items like fruits or snacks that may not be suitable for younger babies. Eating out during the trip can be fun too; however, it’s best to bring along snacks like crackers or puffs just in case your little one gets hungry between meals.
With all these considerations taken care of ahead of time, parents can spend more quality time with their two month old enjoying all the sights and sounds that come with travelling!
Making The Most Of Your Trip
Traveling with an infant can be a wonderful opportunity to create special memories and bonds with your child. With a little bit of planning, it can also be a stress-free experience.
Here are some tips that can help make the most of your trip:
Make sure you have all the necessary supplies for your baby.
Bring extra diapers, wipes, formula, food, and anything else they might need while you’re away.
Pack lightweight strollers and carriers so that you don’t have to carry your baby around everywhere.
It's also important to plan ahead; figure out where you'll stay and what attractions you want to visit beforehand – this way you won’t have to worry about running out of activities during your trip.
No matter where you go or how long your journey is, traveling with an infant can be a great experience for both parent and child. So don't forget to take plenty of pictures and enjoy this special time together!
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is The Best Form Of Transportation To Take With A 2 Month Old?
When traveling with a 2 month old, the best form of transportation is one that is comfortable, safe, and easy to navigate.
For example, if you're going on a cross-country road trip with your little one, make sure you have the essential items like an infant car seat so that your baby can safely travel in the vehicle.
It's also important to bring packing essentials like diapers, formula and/or food, burp cloths, and extra clothes. You might even want to consider investing in a few gadgets or toys to help keep them occupied during long drives.
With the right preparation and supplies, you'll be able to make your travels with your 2 month old as stress-free as possible!
Is It Safe To Travel With A 2 Month Old On A Plane?
Traveling with a 2 month old can be an intimidating experience, but the good news is that it's perfectly safe to take a plane!
Airlines are well-prepared for babies and infants, so you'll have plenty of space and resources available for diaper changes.
Planes also provide a controlled environment that can help reduce any potential illnesses from exposure to other passengers.
That said, make sure to check with your airline provider before flying with your 2 month old as each may have their own policies regarding infant travel.
What Documents Are Necessary To Travel With A 2 Month Old?
If you're thinking of traveling with a 2 month old, it's important to prepare the necessary documents beforehand.
Your baby will need a passport, and if they are under 1 year old, they will need to apply for their own.
Additionally, make sure your baby is up to date on their vaccinations.
Requirements may vary from country to country, so be sure to check the rules ahead of time!
With some preparation, you can make your family trip stress-free and enjoyable for everyone involved.
Are There Any Age Restrictions When Flying With A 2 Month Old?
Embarking on a journey with a young infant can be both an exciting and daunting experience. Flying with an infant of two months old is possible, although there may be age restrictions to consider when packing your essentials.
From breast milk storage to baby car seats, you'll want to make sure your little one's needs are taken care of to ensure the smoothest of travels. For families with infants, double check the regulations in place regarding their age prior to departure.
With some careful planning, there's no need to worry when flying with your 2-month-old - just sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey!
How Can I Keep My 2 Month Old Entertained While Traveling?
Traveling with a 2 month old can be a challenging experience. But, with the right packing essentials and ensuring your baby's comfort, it can also be an enjoyable one!
When planning your next family adventure, make sure to bring along items such as a stroller, car seat and toys that will keep your little one entertained during the journey. Pack plenty of snacks and familiar items such as favorite blankets or stuffed animals for extra comfort.
Don't forget to get creative! Making handmade games out of paperclips or drawing pictures with crayons can help keep your baby engaged during the trip. With a bit of preparation and imagination, you can turn any long-distance trip into an adventure for the whole family.
Conclusion
Traveling with a 2 month old may seem daunting, but it doesn't have to be. With the right planning and preparation, you can make your journey safe and enjoyable for your little one.
The key is to plan ahead and anticipate any potential issues that could arise while travelling. I guarantee that if you plan carefully and pack the right supplies, you'll be able to enjoy a stress-free getaway with your tiny tot!
Your baby will be sure to benefit from the new sights and experiences, making the trip an unforgettable experience for both of you. So don't let fear stop you from taking that much needed family holiday – just take all the necessary precautions, and let your adventure begin!
submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:18 januch-juni Boyfriend's Surprise Trip 101: From Planning to Revelation

Sure, here's a post titled "Boyfriend's Surprise Trip 101: From Planning to Revelation" with a focus on Morocco:
Title: Boyfriend's Surprise Trip 101: From Planning to Revelation
Surprising your boyfriend with a well-planned trip can be an incredibly romantic gesture. If you're considering Morocco as your surprise destination, you're in for an unforgettable adventure. Here's a step-by-step guide to planning and revealing the perfect surprise getaway to Morocco.
With careful planning and a touch of creativity, you can surprise your boyfriend with an unforgettable trip to Morocco. Get ready for a romantic journey filled with love, laughter, and the magic of Morocco.
Unlock a world of travel possibilities – discover our website and start planning your dream vacation today!
submitted by januch-juni to u/januch-juni [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:16 Important-Bug8093 25% off huge game list A-Z and $30 meta cash for devices bought within last 45 days

Need a different game? DM me. Over 200 25% discount codes only 4000 characters/post. For an instant $30 device referral claim@ https://www.meta.com/referrals/link/JJtheoutlaw. You need to claim before linking your account to Quest. If you have been using Quest for 45 days without claiming the $30 then you need to use the phone app. Go to Menu tab, Devices , headset settings, reset the device. Click the referral. Now start Quest normally. You will now have $30 and can redownload games and resume where you left off
submitted by Important-Bug8093 to OculusReferralLinks [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:14 Important-Bug8093 25% off Huge List A-Z AND $30 device credit for devices bought in last 45 days

Need a different game? DM me. Over 200 25% discount codes only 4000 characters/post. For an instant $30 device referral claim@ https://www.meta.com/referrals/link/JJtheoutlaw. You need to claim before linking your account to Quest. If you have been using Quest for 45 days without claiming the $30 then you need to use the phone app. Go to Menu tab, Devices , headset settings, reset the device. Click the referral. Now start Quest normally. You will now have $30 and can redownload games and resume where you left off
submitted by Important-Bug8093 to MetaQuestAppReferrals [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:12 Important-Bug8093 25%off huge list A-Z and $30 credit for devices bought in last 45 days

Need a different game? DM me. Over 200 25% discount codes only 4000 characters/post. For an instant $30 device referral claim@ https://www.meta.com/referrals/link/JJtheoutlaw. You need to claim before linking your account to Quest. If you have been using Quest for 45 days without claiming the $30 then you need to use the phone app. Go to Menu tab, Devices , headset settings, reset the device. Click the referral. Now start Quest normally. You will now have $30 and can redownload games and resume where you left off
submitted by Important-Bug8093 to MetaQuest_Referrals [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:07 ConsistentResist3610 23[M4F] Hyderabad - Looking for Fun Friend.

Hey there, Life has been kind enough towards me to be here and put my word out, so hoping to meet new friends here.
A bit about me:
I am kind of hustler, like to work and have fun in life, very ambitious, like to do postive gossip, intrested learn about life and always up for intresting conversation about experiences and new fronts of life.
I like to be in nature or chasing the cold Breeze on a bike or go for a walk after work , we could togther go out on a ride and take fresh air, read, sketch, photograph and travel to new places for dates, I like to make new memories, capture good stories and life lessons from new places and people.
Movies now a days, when given company I can watch, Podcasts are my go to, I am very hungry for life and fun. I am kind of romantic and serious too if we get committed.
I like to write some poetry, draw and listen to good music, read and listen some good science related or helpful, philosophical stuff.
I am 5'8" and 63Kgs, I am Healthy & can say I am kind of Fit too. I am more into intresting conversations and having fun in life and exploring life and it's new adventures always.
I am very creative person and have a combo of logic, I enjoy being creative and logical so I am have professional career in it, for now a freelancer hustling...
I am looking for a fun, casual and easy going friendship, who also share values like me and is open minded. Simple, Meaningful and Quality in Life, is what all I want. Please be Confident, Calm and be with Patience.
Hope to hear from you and get to know you better.😊
In India, I am based of Hyderabad.
submitted by ConsistentResist3610 to SFWr4rIndia [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:45 TearKitchen5371 Launched a Salon at the end of January. This month we hit 400K in revenue.

Wanted to share our my journey of investing into a brand new salon and how we grew it to 400k in revenue in 4 months.
Sharing so others can throw in their ideas or learn something from our journey. I truly believe that 2 heads (well thousands in this case) are better than one, so share what's on your mind. The good, the bad, the ugly.
My background: I've been a freelance digital strategist/media buyer for a few years now, primarily in eCommerce and have been fortunate enough to work with some of the largest advertisers on Meta, TikTok, Snap and Google. My bread and butter is digital strategy but a big part of it is creative strategy as well.
Preface:
So in October 2023 a family member finally let me advertise their Salon since it looked like they weren't going to be able to cover their business expenses that month. The salon already had a very good reputation for their work and already had an established customer base however, they had no marketing other than sending their customers DMs on FB reminding them to come over for a hair treatment.
I launched some really basic facebook ads using common direct response practices, thing before and after shots, videos, basic "tiktok" style videos etc.
It took a couple of days to optimize but by the end of the 2nd week after launch all bills were covered and they even had a little left for themselves. Ever since then I've been doing the bare minimum managing their ad campaigns.
The year ended quite well for them with them peaking at 500k in sales in December. In November they asked me and my GF if we wanted to invest into a 2nd branch in the neighboring city and after talking things over, we agreed.
Month 1 - January/February
It took us about 3 weeks to find a location, renovate, buy equipment and train 1 helper. We were able to keep everything fairly cheap and invested a total of 200K into the salon, this included everything we needed, even the chemicals used.
I was made responsible for everything digital so that included setting up a brand new page, planning all posts for the next 60 days(I just copied everything from their 1st salon and re-uploaded onto the new page), run some ads to hype up the salon etc. Overall, nothing too interesting here since it's all basically the most common things you'd want to do when setting up a new business.
Leading up the grand opening, I started running the same ads that we ran in the 1st salon just with different text. I did put a lot more focus to refine some details to make them even more direct response by changing colors, fonts, more click-baity text etc.
The 1st month was pretty stressful for everyone since we knew our fixed expenses were about 70k every month and we were really pushing hard to cover them. Everything was new, we had new people that had to be trained while doing the work etc. Finding a workflow that was efficient took us about 3 weeks, we just sucked at it lol. It got so bad I even forgot to pay an outstanding electric bill so we had 1 day where we couldn't take on new customers.
Overall the 1st month ended pretty well.
Sales - 184K
Expenses - 133K
Net - ~51K
Besides rent, salaries etc, Meta ads ended up costing us about 26K that month which is still pretty good.
Since every business is basically in the Lifetime Value game, we also took down every person's name and phone number that came to our salon. We haven't done it yet but we're planning to reach out to them every 3 months to remind them to get a hair treatment.
Every expense and customer is encoded in a google sheet and it's been our bible in providing us the exact numbers of the business.
Month 2 & 3 - March & April
So with month 2 and 3, not much changes except we were finally getting more walk-ins from people who would pass by the salon or people who saw our ads and just decided to pop in. Meta ads still contributed to the largest sales driver.
I'm a little disappointed in myself to not push harder in April eventhough the numbers justified it. Remember when I said we track everything from customer name, revenue, services they availed etc? I figured out our conversion rates from meta ads, how much each customer cost us to come into the salon, how much our average cost was in labor, overhead and materials etc.
Week over week I saw conversion rate maintain between 5% to 7%. No matter if I increased the budget slightly or decreased it. We also focused heavily on picturing and videoing all of our work. Its all used for our social media accounts plus most of them are used for our ads to stay on top of creative diversity and creative learning. Right now we've testing close to 70 creatives ranging from statics, videos, GIFs etc.
So how did we end the months?
March Sales - 204K
March Expenses - 133K
March Net - 70K
April Sales - 212k
April Expenses - 157K
April net - 54K
April we had a few more expenses as we had to replace our AC and other things coming up.
Month 4 - May
May Sales - 406k
May Expenses - 253K
May Net - 153K
So what happened in May? I believed my numbers lol
I doubled down on ads, we ended up spending 2k a day with conversion rate maintaining at about 7%. Turns out scaling from 200k to 400k in sales wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Yes there are other challenges such as not having enough space, needing to hire someone just to respond to your inquiries, morale being slightly down since it's a lot more work etc but it's sort of a poof of concept to trust the numbers.
Where to go from now? I'd like to keep the ad budget the same but this month give remarketing a try and increase sales without spending much more. We have over 450 phone numbers at this point, so we will start reaching out to them to remind them to get follow up hair treatments etc.
I just realized that this is a long ass post and I hope you didn't get too bored. Sorry for my spelling mistakes in advance lol.
Also, feel free to ask questions, I love feedback both good and bad.
submitted by TearKitchen5371 to phinvest [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:28 WeirdoTheMusical84 Looking for a collaborator (composer/librettist) for a Gothic-inspired period musical

NOTE: As much as I am forever grateful for the amount of resources available, and y'all for providing them, please do not comment unless you are actually interested in collaborating on the project. Thank you so much!
TRIGGER WARNING: This show contains strong language and depicts graphic murder, parental death, as well as the death of a young child. Please be advised before taking on the project if you are comfortable with that subject matter.
LOGLINE: After her parents died in a car accident when she was a baby, a young woman has been raised in a mental institution, unawares of her true family, until the day an older lady shows up at the institution's door, claiming to be her older biological sister...but what none of them know is that she's a serial killer.
This is a musical I originally came up with the idea with about a year ago now, after having to do some research about mental institutions for a research paper of mine. The story of how I came up with the show itself is rather weird, in my opinion. Ever seen those "you wouldn't last a day in the asylum where they raised me" posts on social media?
My brain thought it'd be a good idea to make that quite literal.
Sorry, the logline is quite vague, that's my apologies. The show takes place in post-WW2 (the year in my head is 1947/1948) deep American South, say Alabama, Mississippi, or Louisiana. The setting and time period are left vague in the script anyways.
The main character, Helen, as the logline says, has been raised in a mental institution since she was a baby. This show is NOT supposed to be realistic in that regard. Everything else? Relatively, yes. We all know that someone would've long called CPS or the police if they saw a baby on the side of the road next to two dead bodies. The town the institute is in is quite small, and I've always phrased it in my head as "suspend reality for just one moment and nobody happened to see her except the one nurse who knew there were no homes for miles around". Just keep that in mind.
Helen is raised in this institute by a rather strict and seemingly uncaring nurse named Dolores, and it's hinted at throughout the show that Dolores only took in Helen out of moral/legal obligation (can't leave the baby to die). Despite this, the two do respect each other, but it's not exactly a mothedaughter relationship. The one who actually really loves her is Edgar, who's the head of the institute (only by bribing his way in and blackmailing half of the board of directors). They're more of a fathedaughter type.
And then there's Edgar's adoptive son, William. His mom was a drug addict and died by ODing, so he was taken in at a young age, much like Helen. Him and Helen have a very close platonic relationship, but it never veers into romantic territory (Helen is heavily implied to be aro/ace, though I'm not totally sure about this)....as William is gay. And this is the 1940s. There's a song in the show that reveals the whole schpeel behind that, but basically he has a boyfriend named Richard he's been sneaking out to meet for the past two years, and nobody beside Dolores knows (him and Dolores have a more familial relationship).
All of this to say, this all sets up for the inciting incident of the story, when Arabella steps in the picture. She appears to be your classic 1940s/50s housewife, nothing off about her in the slightest, rather bubbly, etc. But of course...she's a serial killer who killed her past 5 fiancés. Were the fiancés abusive (as well as her current playboy husband, Michael)? Yes. Was she abusive? Also yes. Nearly everyone in the show is morally grey, but she is not someone the audience is intended to root for, namely also because she's abusive towards her two children, quiet supergenius Alan (who later dies) and bratty albeit somewhat good intentioned Marie.
The whole show from there is Helen trying to get out of this situation (aka: don't end up dead) but the dilemma is she both sees Arabella is a bad person and yet she wants her to change so damn badly, even though she knows, deep down, she can't. It's very much reminiscent of Stockholm Syndrome, except in a more familial and not "romantic" way (do note: this show is inspired by the Gothic aesthetic and not by the concept of Gothic itself). She plunges herself way too far into it, and it ends up with Alan, William, Edgar, and Michael all dead by the end of the show.
After all...is anybody entirely good? And is being entirely "good" a good thing?
That's my ramble, lol. Like I said, I originally came up with the idea around a year ago, but kind of took a hiatus 6 months ago only to pick it up again around 2 months ago. I always reach out to actors for a project while I'm still writing the show, just to see if it's viable conceptually and if anyone would be interested. I actually had Teagan Early, Athena in EPIC: The Musical, slated to play Arabella, and 3-4 others slated who had been on Broadway (in ensemble, swing, or supporting role capacities, nobody famous). Unfortunately, due to scheduling and personal emergencies, they all fell through.
So here I am, back at the drawing board.
This one, overall, is somewhere in the middle between "idea" and "rehearsal-ready". I have an outline, and I have 7-8 of the songs out of 20 written, but I'm still in the first 10 pages of the libretto and don't have a score for it yet. I am a librettist/lyricist, I am vocally trained, not instrumentally, haha. I'm primarily looking for a composer, but if someone here is a composer AND a librettist and would want to do the majority of the book, then by all means.
I'm thinking a heavy classical sound for the show: piano, violin, but maybe a little sax and trombone, depending on the number. The style of the songs for the show is both somber and doomed hopeful, I'd say it's a pretty even mix between upbeat songs and more slower, contemplative (I don't want to say ballads). Helen I'm envisioning a little more faster piano, violin, while Arabella is full blown jazz, William is a slower piano and sax, while Dolores is an upbeat mix of both, among others. This is all subject to change, and you'd have a LOT of creative freedom. This is just how I originally envisioned it.
Some logistical things. I'm based just south of LA, in the Pacific Standard Timezone (GMT - 8:00; so for example, right now, it's almost 11:30 AM here). I'm open to collaborations in timezones of all sorts though!
I will say I'd like a collaborator that is active, but also "slow and steady wins the race". I'm working on three other projects in varying states of development right now, and I'm sure y'all are working on stuff too, so my goal would be to get this produced end of next year, beginning of 2026. And when I mean produced, I mean full workshop, up on its feet. I'm totally down for hosting smaller staged readings for feedback beforehand. So if you're someone who a): ghosts and b): likes to go quickly, DNI. Sorry!
Dear god...I just legit rambled, lol. If interested, please DM me! I'll send you the planning document I've been using for the show then, and we can get started. Have a great day, y'all!
submitted by WeirdoTheMusical84 to musicalwriting [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:21 taiyuan41 Henan part 1

It felt frustrating in Chongqing. I was rather stuck in Hechuan. I got accustomed to lajiao (spice) there. I was a Midwesterner at the age of 22. I was raised in Illinois. I became a manic—a Ferris wheel on fire—I was hiding under a bed in a hotel. Bold like napalm. Sometimes I can never stop. Even when I was 18 in a ward arguing with staff. Always want to fight things. That’s why I refused the meds and went on a plane from America to China. I was going to be an English teacher. And like a light switch, the change and SSRIs turned me into a mess. It would be my first time experiencing psychosis. My biggest issue. I never imagined I would be stuck illegally in a country suffering a psychotic episode in my early twenties.
Transplanted as pollen. I was left with a backpack and a cellphone. With a downloaded app called WeChat. I had arrogantly quit a university job in a fit. Spent the past months full of energy and not sleeping and neglecting myself, including not eating, to work on a novel. Not considering myself normally religious, I had obsessed over occult ideas during that time. Spending nights reading Aleister Crowley—haven taken a rusty pocket knife to carve a pentagram on my chest for spiritual protection.
I did not have funds to fly home. My visa was connected to my previous job, which meant I had now made it void. I was an illegal resident now in China.
I used a nifty app called WeChat as a messaging app, it allows users to find people near them that are also looking for others. It was like a virtual pond. All kinds of people, including sex workers trying to make things happen.
It could with luck be used to find people looking for people in terms of other kinds of work. It was helpful on many occasions for finding gigs working at English training schools and also finding work as a private tutor for people.
WeChat also works as a digital wallet.
Mania makes me irritable. Enough to tell a boss to fuck off. Thoughts ricochet within me. Bumper cars collide.
Being stuck and angry sucks. I scrolled and scrolled on a Huawei phone.
Absolutely pissed off at this world.
Pissed at the times police wanted to take me away for being a mess.
Sometimes women get pissed. Scrolling through their phones. Angry at their cheating husbands. It really is not that hard to have flair—be a damn white oddity. Like moths to a porchlight. Particles of sand through hands. This is when I first started the habit of it…
I rather go by a rather empty name of Taishen… with further explanation needed but now is not convenient. But I assure it is interesting enough and has some importance.
Habits are various in nature in how they attach to and eat at marrow—like atom bombs flashing as rays evaporating DNA—sets in a way less than human as putting myself in the cage of bad things taken up—my time as a former heroin addict is left as stretch marks on me in various ways. The same goes for the first time I found myself making arrangements with middle aged married women while desperation of waves whiplashed me like sandpaper hands coming at me to leave me in a tiring state of abrasion.
I had spent a night snuck away into a hotel. Found someone on a business trip. Instead of registering I waited to sneak along into the hotel elevator amongst a group of others attending the hotel, as I had no card. I headed to a designated room number. Originally I was sitting in a park. Playing on WeChat and found someone in their mid-thirties. Pictures were exchanged and I said no. She brought up paying for the hotel if I arrived. I agreed and went along.
When I met I washed up after her and we used our phones to awkwardly translate what we would do.
Room service knocked. I found myself hidden under a bed as I was not registered to be there.
It seems unusual that it was around this time I had started working on a story of my life as a heroin addict when I got caught up in my worse manic episode ever experienced during my age of 22. Finished half that story before never going back to it after my manic episode had ended. Now I am here writing about it and wondering if the same can happen again in the process of this work.
It feels extremely cliché I would write a novel about struggles with heroin addiction. It has been done many times. It’s just lame of me.
I feel like my thoughts are bit off. I left the hotel the next morning with the little money I did have on a debit card. Turns out the woman was from Taiyuan. It is a city in the northern part of China in the province of Shanxi—coal country with the worst air pollution in China. She has a colleague in Taiyuan that takes courses at an English training center. I was able to contact this place in the morning via a shared contact on WeChat given to me by the stranger I met that night.
Before I knew it I was sending my information and documents in my backpack at an internet café in a fax—with the intent that the woman agreed to share my information to the training center as she shared my contact to its hiring manager. It would land me a job that day that would help me out of my situation. Things turned not quite out as I expected though. I was shifted like a ball to somebody else to contact for a training center geared to teaching children.
I took what I had and ran off to a train station after taking the public transit. Unfortunately I was shit for money and could not afford a high speed rail pass. The slow train would take thirty-two hours to get to my destination. I would have taken a room with a bed but all I could afford was a hard seat for the travel.
Things were getting better for me in the circumstance considering I had found someone willing to take me for work despite my visa situation.
The thirty-two hour train ride was horrendous in some ways, but mostly I was in excitement despite the circumstances. I’m always giddy when disappointed. I moved up and down the aisle of the train. I could not speak mandarin, but it did not stop me from trying to interact with everyone. I talked many ears off during the train ride. I went up and down the aisle trying to interact as a moth to porchlights—I could not stop even if I had wanted to. I found great enjoyment the times I did get to sit across a table from somebody my age heading to Taiyuan from Chongqing. They were a university student returning to their hometown. Another passenger who sat beside me was an elderly man with hard boiled eggs, he was eating one after another one. I highly enjoyed each and every conversation that I had. It was like my head was a lightbulb wanting June bugs to bang against it with the intensity of Roman candles shot at my mouth of nicotine tinged teeth.
“If you find someone in Shanxi it is practice to pay the family money before you can get married. You would also have to already own a home and a car,” told my new friend across in their seat from me—a university passenger friend named David.
“Not necessarily what I was looking for. When is the next stop for snacks?” When the train stops I am able to get out and to have a walk onto the platform to buy various goods from the vendors to take back with me to eat along the ride to Taiyuan.
I had all my important documents tucked in my bag. This included my health clearance and obviously I made no mention of my mental health diagnosis or history to the doctor who had to evaluate me. My diploma and TEFL certificate were tucked away securely. A TEFL is a certificate that stands for Teaching English as a Foreign Language, it qualifies me to teach English as a second language abroad—it had only took a few months of taking a course online that I had paid for to obtain.
It is easy to be happy when you can trick yourself as your own con artist. Mania can make you deceive yourself. One can be doused in napalm and still not fully recognize what is actually going on. Same goes the flicking of psychosis. Even when I have nothing I find myself in my radiating irritation the most qualified of things—the velocity of my rhythm sets me out of an orbit.
The pressure cooker keeps me moving like a propeller at times. I finally arrived at Taiyuan. I arrived at the station to be greeted by Ryan my manager and his assistant Jennifer. We had our hello and introduction and they helped me get to a taxi that would bring me to my new apartment. I finally had a residence again. Apparently they were desperate for a teacher. The last teacher was from New Mexico and apparently they pulled a midnight run—that is when a teacher in the middle of the night disappears onto a plane back home without any notification of it.
The apartment was okay. On the fourth floor with no elevator, so it was a bit of a climb up a dark stairwell not lit correctly.
My job was a training center that had a location near Yingze Park in the center of the city. I was to be paid in cash via envelopes. I would assist in teaching kindergarten all the way up to high school aged students there in private lessons paid by their parents. I would also be assigned by my company to various primary schools in the city. I would take public buses to various schools paid by the company I worked for to give English lessons as I bounced around to various classrooms and schools in the city. Often I would receive a phone call to avoid going to work that day if my boss got inside input that officials would be doing raids to check foreigners’ visas that day.
A taxi ride would always be a thrill. Caused me nerves at first, but I came to love the flying in dangerous ways along a busy road. I remember a driver beeping their horn away as they drove onto the sidewalk to pass people. They treated the pedestrians as if they were in the wrong. I came flying in front of a primary school at its front gates. I was going to start teaching a first grade classroom and a kindergarten classroom. The way schools are set up is with a wall around the entirety of the exterior of the school. There is a gate at the front where one or two security will be waiting to let people in and out of the complex of the school.
I walked in front of the gate to greet the security. It was my first time with an assignment at this school. The guard said they had never seen me before and wouldn’t let me in. Not a big nuisance while I called my boss who then called the school to sort out the situation.
I miss the classroom so much. I ended up teaching in China for five years at various training schools. After returning to Illinois, I still taught as a primary school teacher in a public school.
I often feel extremely ugly from inside to my outside, but something is attractive there. This does not come just in terms of flirting and relationships—mania makes me a genuine lightbulb that flickers in a way that encourages the insects to me—everyone looks like a June bug—this is what I have come to understand about life. But that ugly does kind of stay like rot in a cavity that leaves a bad taste in the mouth that smells foul—hoping nobody catches the smell near me—it must tie into my struggles with bulimia over the years.
The same goes for my years as a teacher—in relation to the whole lightbulb phenomenon—I’m positive it is tied to mania and hypomania. The younger students always were fixated on the information I was teaching to them. I kept over the years methods taught to me and self-taught that I found extremely effective with younger students when it comes to teaching.
Everything was physical in learning in terms of intensity and ambition. When teaching my first grade classroom I would create flashcards for the vocab we would work on and implement in creating new sentences with. We would chant these words together in a way that made me a clown while teaching. Students would yell out the word that I presented with intense enthusiasm. As I walked by students it was expected that while they yelled out the word they would also physically hit the card. Later I would also work on physical gestures and acting out of vocab words and they would follow the actions and phrases with me.
I would often eventually turn the class into two teams. When students got an answer right I would behave comically and full of energy—I would give them a high five and pretend they were so strong with it that it hurt my hand in the process with much exaggeration—the students always seemed to never get tired of this act.
One game I would play involved drawing two stick figures with happy faces on them. Each figure would represent one of the teams for the classroom. I would draw a hungry alligator under the figures. Their faces would also be comical in appearance and full of exaggerations. Each figure had a parachute placed over them and four strings attached. During the game the students would race to say the word correctly represented on the flashcard or the correct word for the gesture I was making. The team that was not the slowest would lose a string on the parachute. If a team lost all four strings they would fall to the alligator who would eat them. The students found it hilarious with my actions involved in it. I would also draw tears and a person praying to represent anticipation and worry of falling down each time they lost a string.
I had a tooth game too. I would draw too large faces for each team. The team that could answer the flashcards and gestures the quickest would have a tooth drawn in their mouth. The team with the most teeth would win and it would look rather funny as the mouth grew and grew with an abnormal and extreme amount of teeth.
I often did other physical and interactive games like having students run to the word I showed a card to or gestured—each word would be attached to a point in the classroom on a wall.
I know it sounds grandiose, but the parents always seemed to think I was great at my job.
The word vulnerable means so many things to me. That word is like the coal to form the generator that makes the guiding energy for the ethics I follow in my life—I hold very strongly to these values that have developed on how to live—I can express it more later but I greatly attach a kind of Christian value system to it, which makes sense considering I was raised in a Lutheran household and always went to church, Sunday school, and went to my courses and went through my confirmation—everyone is a bit of a mop—some pick up clean water and others dirty or a mix of it—waiting to find the people to drain them voluntarily or involuntarily. I was born vulnerable. I walk pigeon-toed and grew up tripping on my feet—I speak with a soft feminine voice. Bipolar disorder makes somebody vulnerable. There was much vulnerability in being eighteen and hospitalized involuntarily for my first manic episode—tied to a stretcher. I have almost a sense of us vs them—the vulnerable and those that harm the vulnerable—take advantage of the vulnerable—I feel this is a very much Christian in the idea of the unfortunate are more holy than the rest of the bunch—children are like that in terms of being born into a cruel existence—a cruel existence I felt at times in my life and so many do—making sure harm does not come to those in need gives the light of purpose to go bright inside like a Christmas tree in my brain—this light of happiness and warmth. I never expected I would fall in love for teaching due to the antidepressant effect provided. It would become my career for a decade. Some grow up wanting to be a teacher, I became one by accident, desperation, and being saved.
Sometimes I inflate on self-hate like a helium balloon that needs to be tied to a wrist. The vulnerability equation is imprinted on my brain.
In my early teens I started struggling with bulimia and image. I remember when my mother caught me in the act. I was not offered help but criticized. I was called a girl for my problems and threatened to be taken somewhere to be fixed of my confusion. I don’t identify as transgender. I identify as a man that struggles with bulimia and happens to have feminine qualities.
I attribute it to circumstances that happened to me—a justification for the pain at times—an attack on aspects of bisexuality.
After a long day of work I did what my young self often did. I went clubbing with friends. I feel like even if I hide aspects of myself such as being bisexual, people can spot it regardless. I’m extremely secretive about it and not comfortable displaying that vulnerable aspect of myself.
My friend from England went with me. He was about six years my senior. Big guy. Tall. The clubs name was Maoye.
I always enjoyed the free drinks available to foreigners—it was done to attract Chinese clients, as the idea was foreigners being there would attract people.
Amongst the hot and sweltering crowd a man grabbed ahold of me. I felt stuck. I was taken off guard. Pushed and cornered. While on me I managed to push him off. But it all serves as a reminder of the vulnerability of my life.
A nail was placed into my hand—a constant burn and reminder of that vulnerability.
Part 2
From self-hate I can also be so grandiose. I am like a Christmas tree that is lit up. Sparklers so pretty that you cannot let go of them, even if it burns your fingertips and hurts.
From heroin to sex, you can smother the pain. You drain the ocean to fill a void in these times. It ties to mania as well. That restlessness and irritability is extinguished by the paradox of throwing kerosene to everything burning. I’m so grandiose to hide my insecurities, I mistake my misfortune as a mark of something ugly virtuous—the neon of vulnerability pulsating like a star within me. Swelling on a pain.
Bad habits. I want you to judge me and tell me what’s wrong with me. Give me a verdict.
Stress a trigger for mania, and I was stressed from the incident I had experienced at the club. I bloated like a tick to distract from locusts of thoughts that could not shut up with their commotion.
I had been sleeping around more than before. My brain was Christmas tree lights. I accelerated on a generator—I made a mixed episode worse.
Tease a disaster when you are heightened like a blimp. Full of hydrogen. Hoping to burn up ad rain down like napalm.
When the pretty candles on the Christmas tree are left untouched—not looked at like a kettle on burner that has been forgotten—the dry neglected tree will into a house fire.
I’ve had four attempts in my life so far.
When I attempt I don’t cry for help. I feel too vulnerable. I’m afraid.
Hate police and wards.
Downing pills.
My past failed attempts made me aware of everything done wrong before. The sleeping pills alone might not do what I was looking for at that time. I bought an electrical cable. This way if it failed I would still be unconscious and choked out by the cord—fail safe plan to end my life.
The words coming out of my mouth slowed down. I started getting second thoughts. Stuck my face towards the toilet bowl while on my knees. Sticking my fingers down my throat. Leaving blood vessels bursting in my eyes.
Went stumbling outside and waved a taxi down and asked to be taken to the local hospital.
Never expected finding myself checked into a psych ward in a foreign country.
Nietzsche has a quote in reference to chaos in life and how it is needed to create a star—this reference holds so much value to me. Sometimes stars hit together just right to create fate out of the worst of things. The ward lead me to meet the woman made of paper. She would one day become my wife. I would have two daughters with her. Forge together as soldiers to face the obstacles in life. Someone who would save my life during a future attempt when I was found unconscious from an overdose. The smartest and toughest woman I have ever known. Someone to build trenches with.
I liked it when she stuck that needle in me for an IV. It must correlate to being a heroin addict. The pushing of something in my vein correlates to happiness and purity.
The woman made out of paper was my nurse in the ward I was stuck in. What attracted her to the mess that is me I will never understand fully.
The woman made out of paper is named Lilu. She was one year older than me and one of my nurses at that ward in Taiyuan. She was from Zhengzhou—a city in the province of Henan that is based in the center of China. I am sure as the reader it would be nice to know why I call her the woman made of paper.
She struggled with her own demons. She also deserves much praise for her resilience and brains. When she was born she was raised by a family that adopted her and often neglected and abused her growing up. Her biological family is distant from her, even though she has an identical twin—they felt too poor to take care of her and made the choice that they needed to be less of one child as she also has an older sister—her twin got to stay with that family but she was given up and adopted. I am sure this must bother her even if she never will talk about it to anyone in her life—as she is one to refuse ever discussing emotions and feelings, as this is not her personality type—she is very much a fighter. I think most would struggle with wondering why they were the one let go of—it also must hurt her knowing that the family would have a son and keep him.
Despite all these circumstances, she graduated top of her class of four thousand students—Chinese high schools can be quite large serving a large region—they often serve as boarding schools. She was a smart and hardworking student. Circumstances never made her stop trying to be the best and moving forward and she never made excuses for herself. In university she also did well and got accepted at the most studious and hard to obtain nursing position at the number one hospital in Shanxi.
I have already ranted and gone on about my affection and feelings tied to heroin. Drinking of entire oceans to fill voids.
Paper is a void. It asks for calligraphy to be written on it to make braille. This way when fingers run over skin, it tells worth—the reason for troubles—it forms connection through those words of declaration—the whining for why things are the way they are—the filling of a void like a heroin addict needing a cure—two papers come together to write upon one another—as a paper I am her typo—I stand as a falling mess with nerves like tripwire, I keep failing and losing my composer, while she stands stronger as a declaration that has been written on—when I was chased I listened to her and joined as one. I wish and intend to always serve the woman made out of paper who has saved my life and has always been there for me, being so strong despite circumstances—amongst the wind of turmoil in life I follow along her path.
It was love at first sight for her but not for me. I had no interest in dating her at the time. I worked across the street of that hospital in an office building for a training center as a part time job. I would teach adults English who paid for private lessons near to Yingze park in the center of Taiyuan. She signed up for classes for me to teach her and brought me food on almost every other day that she had prepared. Eventually we found ourselves coupled fully.
In a pit. I get to burn as paper amongst another’s paper. Eternally. With a life that will keep reoccurring.
Part 3 Liu
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Liu.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be a room for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.
Part 4 Taishen
My former roommate in the ward I shared a room with had paranoid schizophrenia. I was stuck in the same place due to mania, and just had gotten my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
I was so pissed being stuck there and felt I had no business being there. I found my diagnosis to be an insult to me. I was only 18 at the time—taken in on a stretcher. Made me feel very vulnerable and irritated.
My roommate was having delusions related to Christianity and could not stop waking me up in the middle of the night to ask and talk about Jesus. Left me beyond frustrated.
He was drifting from his wife and would go on and on about intending to leave her. Felt he was spied and plotted against by her. So we were both frustrated with being there.
The toilets were special. They would flush what needed to be flushed but not certain things like pills—it helped to keep people from hiding they were not taking their medications.
He had tried to flush his wedding ring down the toilet but he did not realized it didn’t flush. I went to use the restroom later and saw the ring. I told him. He took it out. He found it to be a sign form God that he is to stay with his wife, and there was immense happiness in his eyes.
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2024.06.04 20:21 taiyuan41 Henan part 2

Tisishen Part Continued..
I was stuck at my current work at Mao’ye. A mall in the central part of Taiyuan in Shanxi. Coal dust central China. Frequent dust storms leaving me having to wipe the window sills of dust piles collecting. Life felt dry as the air—numb. I never know what I want. Drifting like paper in a breeze.
23 and feeling empty. Left the previous English training center I working at teaching adults. Company started going bankrupt. Boss was an asshole. He was originally from Datong near to Inner Mongolia.
That boss ran the company horribly. Was a coward of a boss. He would watch the cameras and email complaints on my dress code and not talk to me in person. A coward.
When the company was nosediving I got sent an email in the middle of the day stating my job would be terminated by the end of the month. I worked in china as an American. In china most jobs are based on contracts between employees and employers. I was supposed to continue another seven months with my job. The contract was broken when they emailed me saying they could not keep me due to salary. Contracts can be broken due to performance but not due to finance issues. I had already work for them a year on another contract. The law in China states I was due to be paid a year and a half of salary. My boss was such a coward to not speak to me in person and email the letter. I marched in his office and got told to fuck myself. I talked to the labor board at the local government office. I was told was told that I that they would have to pay me a year and a half of salary for breaking my contract.
Those times were rather gray for me. Clouds were heavy like gnats flying around the face. My girlfriend at the time was a stern nurse. The girl made of paper. She stayed beside. My fortress. Put up for adoption by her family in Henan. Where her adopted mother would put her hands in scolding hot water for punishment. She marched into my boss’s office and created a storm. He refused to budge. A few days later when the labor office contacted him he was willing to keep me for the rest of my contract. The labor office said that because my job was offered back I could not be paid if I left my job, as it would be my choice at that point. Frustrating. My wife had her uncle’s boss contacted from Taiyuan to go into the office. She had some influence in the area. She threatened to look over various certificates to get the branch in trouble. My boss did not budge. I decided to just go ahead and leave this English training center for teaching adults. I went for a new company that paid more passed in the Moye mall on the other end of the city. Now I would be teaching children again like I used.
Is this all I am? A server?
It makes me think of a time right before I met the woman made of paper. Stern from her experiences. A fighter. I like fighters.
I met fighters before. Reminds me of a story. A story I hold deeply to my heart. There was a woman named Ming. I met her through surfing on WeChat nearby searching for people looking for others nearby. Older by a few years. Met and became acquainted over messages.
Christmas tree lights in my head
Perched to be exploited…
Balloon with the air let out
Hissing all the time… because it whines
The inferno in me wants me to burn
Because it feels right
Christmas trees lit are under pressure—they know if they dry up the whole building will be in flames
So you have to be festive when you decorate—and avant-garde with who you decorate with
Maximalist at heart with pleasure
Nomads tend to wander to find a better part of the steppe
With a phallus as a Swiss Army Knife,
Paddling in northern China building a trench
22 year old Midwesterner with psychosis looking for a frigate to save him from the deep end
Impulsivity a catalyst for losing everything
I don’t care if you’re married, if you have a tunnel you can help me in the trench
Two staged rocket—
Already psychotic
Be a Launchpad
So I can get even further from earth
Ripple through the galaxy like I got a mission—
Even if it’s delusional
Another N1
Get myself on disconnect in the vacuum
Even if I come down Iike napalm.
I met Ming because I needed her and she needed me-even if she was married. I was 23 and without security. MY first job that I forgot from my boss Ryan was insane at times. Working without a visa for a company was unbearable. I felt obligated to my boss at that time he promised he could solve my issue if I worked hard for him. And I did. He was a bit corrupt too and not the greatest. Always offering going to brothels with people to make deals happen, including trying with me too. I never went. I did work hard for him though. I wanted to escape my predicament and he knew all the right people to contact to fix my problems if I met my obligations. Obligations could mean being asked to go to another training center to work part time and gather their curriculum for my school.
It felt unstable not knowing when I could get arrested or taken away. Made Ming a perfect connection to come across. I needed a friend that brought stability. She was a radio broadcaster in the city. Extremely wealthy. She would take me on outings eating delicious cuisine in the city or among weekend trips to interesting places nearby. I consider her one of the greatest friends I had. Because of her it was getting to meet other connections at outings with friends at KTV and clubs in the city. Like rhizomes growing out of a tree. Sustainability. It led to more rhizomes of connections. Something I want to talk more about. But I need to move the clock a bit. To the start of this ramble.
I was working in Maoye. I was on a legal visa at this time. My colleagues were not legal. They were often Slavic. Russian, Ukraine, and other Slavic nations. We had an office in the building setup on a third floor of a large mal with various classrooms for the foreign teachers to teach in. They would generally have a Chinese teaching assistant to help them in the classrooms. I taught students from pre-k age to middle school there.
In the middle of the setup of the floor layout was a large open office. I would sit and plan lessons and grade amongst the Chinese staff and foreign teachers. One day I grep of plain clothed officers came into the facility. They were checking on teachers on the wrong visas. The Russian teachers and others often could not fluently speak English or qualify for the correct visas—they didn’t meet the right requirements for work visas and would be on other various kinds of visas. They stormed in and I remember my Russian friend hearing the commotion tore his shirt with his logo on it and threw it on the ground in a rush. He ran shirtless down a stair well nearby flinging the doors open. Fear, anger… got to fill their class schedule while they are all out hiding.
Final Taishen
I met Chang’e. Do you believe in the transplanting of thoughts? I do. Like pollen.
My thoughts can transplant and Change can do the same too.
Mania got me again. I wrote a poem when I was younger to express it.
Feeling bold and exacerbated
Maybe I am just high strung
Ricocheting off these walls like bumper cars
A sparkler burning hot and bright
Popping off like roman candles
I am not always calm, but I am high,
A kettle left on the burner and forgotten,
Watch me melt away into my ecstasy
Where I dance and scream all in one
I’ll hit peak when crisis comes.
I hadn’t been sleeping. I took a second English teaching job and was seeing attending to seeing different people besides Ming.
Ming was kind and always took me on nice dinner dates. I didn’t have to worry about expenses and felt secure.
I was back on my smartphone looking and fishing for people nearby. Chang’e came in as a breeze from Luoyang to meeting a relative in Taiyuan.
Chang’e was working for a boss in Taiyuan. She would go on the WeChat application looking for men nearby. Flirt to get them to meet her. Like moths in dark they get to the lights:
Useless as a glass door. You can peek through. Pigeon-toed. Drained an ocean to fill insecurities. Uncomfortable thoughts ricochet in me. Like an ambush. Giddy when disappointed. I build trenches amongst the tripwires of life. City feels like a tsunami. Manners like a bloated tick. Sipping the veins from any limb around me. As a stranger to a moth, a porch light pulling. Desolate in lost thoughts. Nights awake and bunkering in hotels. Soft in my voice, I hopscotch to hands—falling through like particles of sand. With enough friction to set off an atom bomb. To radiate right through me, and hollow my marrow. Amongst open nerves I can feel something, so I play with the pain. No matter how annoying.
As particles I transplanted through to her screen as we lay in our separate beds in the city. Mania makes me dumb. We flattered away. Fused as particles.
Her intent was for me to arrive at a designated location to drink and eat late into the night—11:00 p.m. With this given location I would be taken down like an elephant via poachers—that was the intent. At the location I was to be given an outrageous bill for the service and if I did not pay a group of big men would use their physical presence to get me to pay.
When I met her at the given location outside the door. I knew the tricks. I tested her. Asked if she would be willing to eat at another location.
She thought she would eat me and I thought I would eat her. My test was asking her to go to another place at the KTV nearby where I knew somebody that worked there—a karaoke location—the LED lights shining and me and her staring at the direction of them.
She hesitated and insisted on the location next to us. I said I had to go—before I left to contact if willing in the future to go to the KTV.
Where a perpetual hydrogen bomb would go off on our fused particles.
………. Final
The End
Her name was Lily. She wanted to be a princess. Or that is what she said all the time. Kind of hope she was joking. But I have the same problem. She kept talking about peaches and their rising cost. She was a host for live streaming . She was Korean but was cosmopolitan. She spent time in america going to school and aside from English she also learned to speak Japanese fluently .
She wanted to know if peaches were of a similar price back in america. Small talk is necessary or it can feel claustrophobic. Agonizing.
I was viewing and felt agony. Like so many do. I needed more and better than the life I felt.
Imagine calling 988 for a bit of help. You are isolated and all alone in your predicament. Where is the support? Why I get a robot on the line talking to me telling me to wait—where are the humans?
Alienation n the chamber of life. That is my life as Taishen.
Lily and her viewers provided a sense of community that I did not have. And it appears she was a contact with Chang’e via streaming that I did not know.
I am just Luo feeling alienated and climbing over the wall to get some needed assistance. Comfort amongst cold—sanctuary—hope. I was staying in Zhengzhou at this time. Originally from the flower city of Luoyang in Henan—a central province of China. I was working at the Foxxconn factory—where parts of the IPhone were made—largest iPhone factory based in China. I have to ear to feed my family like anyone else. I have a 7 year old daughter being watched by my mother in law in Luoyang—my wife was working in guangzhou at a factory. I never get to see my wife. I had feelings she might be in a relationship with a man in guangzhou. How can she be blamed? She has no love around. Her just like I don’t. If my wife is with another I might as well do my best to find connection. To stay afloat. Brushing gifts to a live streamer. I was even starting to pick up on new languages like Japanese, English, and Korean by doing it. My life was a trap. I must work to bring security to my wife who cannot bring security to me. To leave her would cause me to lose face and I would rather die than face that. Life can never be ordinary for me.
The days and habits of finding a sanctuary on an iPhone that I had to slave away and make amongst my unhappiness was a cruel punishment for just being me. I always am the victim. I’m unable to deceive myself to be happy. Nobody to hold me—I am a fish out of water. I feel the tension pull me like hooks trying to rip me into confetti—I am sure some would applaud at the sight of me being gone.
News and gossip of a virus running around like a plague. From Wuhan. Amusing as my former love came from there when we met in university. She left me like everyone else. I need Freon like a freezer to cook the hate off I feel inside me. I blend in my feelings of worth and self until it spatters as something abstract and abhorrent—like mold on a wall.
Aside from live stream hosts, I found an escape smoking hashish and going to the local brothel with colleagues. I ventured further and further from recognizing who I am. And the news of COVID had only made it worse. And n my hometown near Luoyang they put dirt and and tree trunks to block the roads to keep people from coming in and going out. I went along like getting stuck in thorny bushes and my calves left burnt. The factory became like a firecracker left held in hands pointing up to the sky. Like there is a thing like hope. There is none—gone like air out of a balloon. My fate was stolen away.
Security wanes no matter the solidity of the rock—just take enough rain to form a flood to erode—like banks as paper—pretty on the outside but not secure when the money is all gone.
Within the factory we were not receiving our allowances like we did before. Amongst stress of Covid and its unknowns we became like fish in a shrinking pool of water—agitated and biting each others scales. Abrasion. Friction. An unleashed turmoil to become a tsunami of emotions. Class felt like an overhead lamp causing the eyes to go red and burn.
Cases popped up like sprouting trees with rhizomes. When we wanted our own rooms we were told it was not a possibility. Healthy stuck with sick like classes mixing—a metaphor of it all—anger soar like geyser. Covid became a judicial sentence. Amongst a couple months before the banks failed and people could not get the money they put in. Large sums! And when the anger rose it set off the codes on our phones. Everyone must show their status. If one was positive for Covid their icon was red to indicate level of restriction—one must stay home regardless if the food that came from the government was fresh or if it even ever came at all. Green was good. But soon if you criticized the banking failure your code was red to keep one quit. The virus was the police—a means to shut up somebody like a baton. And the batons would come at the factory. Causes soon that political red of a dot was mixed with the green to allow infection to the healthy, which mean the baton of the government saying the worth of us—we were meant to shut up and is our part at the factory and ass caged dogs. Like the paper banks—when the money ran out the codes were sent to red to keep mouths homes while plain clothes cops beat the working class in the name of the communist party. Our party became paradoxical as the sickle and hammer—as it became more of the baton to make the money run and build the iPhones that make happy elites in Beijing who couldn’t care about zhengzhou. Like ants escaping the confines of an anthill drowning in the rain. Popping like bubbles in anguish.
Everything was blended in this world. Even Lily was not who she seemed. But I rather save that for another time.
The bubble was extended and the people left the confines of their residents on the company grounds despite orders that all must stay within due to COVID. Enough had formed for rebellion. Outside on the grounds the workers threw rocks, bottles, and metal fence at security in to shut them up. The batons came. iPhones were out to record what was happening. The image was bad and the workers were paid to leave the commotion and uprising as a means of saving face.
Heaven’s mandate was showing—the promise that all would be in order from the authority provided over all—no natural disasters—and I could smell flood water in the future. Beijing was not so efficiently coupled to Henan. And the security provided was looking like a facade—like glowing skyscrapers pointing at heaven—but in reality most of the buildings had nothing inside of them—bubbles to burst like the agitation felt at Foxconn.
Lily was a facade—Lily was actually Chang’e putting a show on iPhones, with perpetual hooks extending like a limb from the screen for men to bite on. Money like a work for hungry sparrows everywhere—a curse running through the zeitgeist of the time—and it was looking like the concrete was crumbling around the barriers to keep floodwaters out.
I want to laugh at the thought of small talk on peaches—the irrigation dug to make land fertile was looking more like the weapon to cause immense harm—there was a contagion besides COVID—the act of treating others as an end instead of ends to themselves—agency lost. It the slap of reality was going to come like a comet wiping extinct the good and the bad—as the water would come and cause the loss of life. In Shangqiu a girl of paper was abandoned by parents in poverty while some officials sent their kids to school abroad with sports cars—one of those princesses ran over someone and even thought heaven made him too perfect to face Justice. Something was wrong and scarily felt like it just begun.
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2024.06.04 20:19 taiyuan41 Napalm part 2

Tisishen Part Continued..
I was stuck at my current work at Mao’ye. A mall in the central part of Taiyuan in Shanxi. Coal dust central China. Frequent dust storms leaving me having to wipe the window sills of dust piles collecting. Life felt dry as the air—numb. I never know what I want. Drifting like paper in a breeze.
23 and feeling empty. Left the previous English training center I working at teaching adults. Company started going bankrupt. Boss was an asshole. He was originally from Datong near to Inner Mongolia.
That boss ran the company horribly. Was a coward of a boss. He would watch the cameras and email complaints on my dress code and not talk to me in person. A coward.
When the company was nosediving I got sent an email in the middle of the day stating my job would be terminated by the end of the month. I worked in china as an American. In china most jobs are based on contracts between employees and employers. I was supposed to continue another seven months with my job. The contract was broken when they emailed me saying they could not keep me due to salary. Contracts can be broken due to performance but not due to finance issues. I had already work for them a year on another contract. The law in China states I was due to be paid a year and a half of salary. My boss was such a coward to not speak to me in person and email the letter. I marched in his office and got told to fuck myself. I talked to the labor board at the local government office. I was told was told that I that they would have to pay me a year and a half of salary for breaking my contract.
Those times were rather gray for me. Clouds were heavy like gnats flying around the face. My girlfriend at the time was a stern nurse. The girl made of paper. She stayed beside. My fortress. Put up for adoption by her family in Henan. Where her adopted mother would put her hands in scolding hot water for punishment. She marched into my boss’s office and created a storm. He refused to budge. A few days later when the labor office contacted him he was willing to keep me for the rest of my contract. The labor office said that because my job was offered back I could not be paid if I left my job, as it would be my choice at that point. Frustrating. My wife had her uncle’s boss contacted from Taiyuan to go into the office. She had some influence in the area. She threatened to look over various certificates to get the branch in trouble. My boss did not budge. I decided to just go ahead and leave this English training center for teaching adults. I went for a new company that paid more passed in the Moye mall on the other end of the city. Now I would be teaching children again like I used.
Is this all I am? A server?
It makes me think of a time right before I met the woman made of paper. Stern from her experiences. A fighter. I like fighters.
I met fighters before. Reminds me of a story. A story I hold deeply to my heart. There was a woman named Ming. I met her through surfing on WeChat nearby searching for people looking for others nearby. Older by a few years. Met and became acquainted over messages.
Christmas tree lights in my head
Perched to be exploited…
Balloon with the air let out
Hissing all the time… because it whines
The inferno in me wants me to burn
Because it feels right
Christmas trees lit are under pressure—they know if they dry up the whole building will be in flames
So you have to be festive when you decorate—and avant-garde with who you decorate with
Maximalist at heart with pleasure
Nomads tend to wander to find a better part of the steppe
With a phallus as a Swiss Army Knife,
Paddling in northern China building a trench
22 year old Midwesterner with psychosis looking for a frigate to save him from the deep end
Impulsivity a catalyst for losing everything
I don’t care if you’re married, if you have a tunnel you can help me in the trench
Two staged rocket—
Already psychotic
Be a Launchpad
So I can get even further from earth
Ripple through the galaxy like I got a mission—
Even if it’s delusional
Another N1
Get myself on disconnect in the vacuum
Even if I come down Iike napalm.
I met Ming because I needed her and she needed me-even if she was married. I was 23 and without security. MY first job that I forgot from my boss Ryan was insane at times. Working without a visa for a company was unbearable. I felt obligated to my boss at that time he promised he could solve my issue if I worked hard for him. And I did. He was a bit corrupt too and not the greatest. Always offering going to brothels with people to make deals happen, including trying with me too. I never went. I did work hard for him though. I wanted to escape my predicament and he knew all the right people to contact to fix my problems if I met my obligations. Obligations could mean being asked to go to another training center to work part time and gather their curriculum for my school.
It felt unstable not knowing when I could get arrested or taken away. Made Ming a perfect connection to come across. I needed a friend that brought stability. She was a radio broadcaster in the city. Extremely wealthy. She would take me on outings eating delicious cuisine in the city or among weekend trips to interesting places nearby. I consider her one of the greatest friends I had. Because of her it was getting to meet other connections at outings with friends at KTV and clubs in the city. Like rhizomes growing out of a tree. Sustainability. It led to more rhizomes of connections. Something I want to talk more about. But I need to move the clock a bit. To the start of this ramble.
I was working in Maoye. I was on a legal visa at this time. My colleagues were not legal. They were often Slavic. Russian, Ukraine, and other Slavic nations. We had an office in the building setup on a third floor of a large mal with various classrooms for the foreign teachers to teach in. They would generally have a Chinese teaching assistant to help them in the classrooms. I taught students from pre-k age to middle school there.
In the middle of the setup of the floor layout was a large open office. I would sit and plan lessons and grade amongst the Chinese staff and foreign teachers. One day I grep of plain clothed officers came into the facility. They were checking on teachers on the wrong visas. The Russian teachers and others often could not fluently speak English or qualify for the correct visas—they didn’t meet the right requirements for work visas and would be on other various kinds of visas. They stormed in and I remember my Russian friend hearing the commotion tore his shirt with his logo on it and threw it on the ground in a rush. He ran shirtless down a stair well nearby flinging the doors open. Fear, anger… got to fill their class schedule while they are all out hiding.
Final Taishen
I met Chang’e. Do you believe in the transplanting of thoughts? I do. Like pollen.
My thoughts can transplant and Change can do the same too.
Mania got me again. I wrote a poem when I was younger to express it.
Feeling bold and exacerbated
Maybe I am just high strung
Ricocheting off these walls like bumper cars
A sparkler burning hot and bright
Popping off like roman candles
I am not always calm, but I am high,
A kettle left on the burner and forgotten,
Watch me melt away into my ecstasy
Where I dance and scream all in one
I’ll hit peak when crisis comes.
I hadn’t been sleeping. I took a second English teaching job and was seeing attending to seeing different people besides Ming.
Ming was kind and always took me on nice dinner dates. I didn’t have to worry about expenses and felt secure.
I was back on my smartphone looking and fishing for people nearby. Chang’e came in as a breeze from Luoyang to meeting a relative in Taiyuan.
Chang’e was working for a boss in Taiyuan. She would go on the WeChat application looking for men nearby. Flirt to get them to meet her. Like moths in dark they get to the lights:
Useless as a glass door. You can peek through. Pigeon-toed. Drained an ocean to fill insecurities. Uncomfortable thoughts ricochet in me. Like an ambush. Giddy when disappointed. I build trenches amongst the tripwires of life. City feels like a tsunami. Manners like a bloated tick. Sipping the veins from any limb around me. As a stranger to a moth, a porch light pulling. Desolate in lost thoughts. Nights awake and bunkering in hotels. Soft in my voice, I hopscotch to hands—falling through like particles of sand. With enough friction to set off an atom bomb. To radiate right through me, and hollow my marrow. Amongst open nerves I can feel something, so I play with the pain. No matter how annoying.
As particles I transplanted through to her screen as we lay in our separate beds in the city. Mania makes me dumb. We flattered away. Fused as particles.
Her intent was for me to arrive at a designated location to drink and eat late into the night—11:00 p.m. With this given location I would be taken down like an elephant via poachers—that was the intent. At the location I was to be given an outrageous bill for the service and if I did not pay a group of big men would use their physical presence to get me to pay.
When I met her at the given location outside the door. I knew the tricks. I tested her. Asked if she would be willing to eat at another location.
She thought she would eat me and I thought I would eat her. My test was asking her to go to another place at the KTV nearby where I knew somebody that worked there—a karaoke location—the LED lights shining and me and her staring at the direction of them.
She hesitated and insisted on the location next to us. I said I had to go—before I left to contact if willing in the future to go to the KTV.
Where a perpetual hydrogen bomb would go off on our fused particles.
………. Final
The End
Her name was Lily. She wanted to be a princess. Or that is what she said all the time. Kind of hope she was joking. But I have the same problem. She kept talking about peaches and their rising cost. She was a host for live streaming . She was Korean but was cosmopolitan. She spent time in america going to school and aside from English she also learned to speak Japanese fluently .
She wanted to know if peaches were of a similar price back in america. Small talk is necessary or it can feel claustrophobic. Agonizing.
I was viewing and felt agony. Like so many do. I needed more and better than the life I felt.
Imagine calling 988 for a bit of help. You are isolated and all alone in your predicament. Where is the support? Why I get a robot on the line talking to me telling me to wait—where are the humans?
Alienation n the chamber of life. That is my life as Taishen.
Lily and her viewers provided a sense of community that I did not have. And it appears she was a contact with Chang’e via streaming that I did not know.
I am just Luo feeling alienated and climbing over the wall to get some needed assistance. Comfort amongst cold—sanctuary—hope. I was staying in Zhengzhou at this time. Originally from the flower city of Luoyang in Henan—a central province of China. I was working at the Foxxconn factory—where parts of the IPhone were made—largest iPhone factory based in China. I have to ear to feed my family like anyone else. I have a 7 year old daughter being watched by my mother in law in Luoyang—my wife was working in guangzhou at a factory. I never get to see my wife. I had feelings she might be in a relationship with a man in guangzhou. How can she be blamed? She has no love around. Her just like I don’t. If my wife is with another I might as well do my best to find connection. To stay afloat. Brushing gifts to a live streamer. I was even starting to pick up on new languages like Japanese, English, and Korean by doing it. My life was a trap. I must work to bring security to my wife who cannot bring security to me. To leave her would cause me to lose face and I would rather die than face that. Life can never be ordinary for me.
The days and habits of finding a sanctuary on an iPhone that I had to slave away and make amongst my unhappiness was a cruel punishment for just being me. I always am the victim. I’m unable to deceive myself to be happy. Nobody to hold me—I am a fish out of water. I feel the tension pull me like hooks trying to rip me into confetti—I am sure some would applaud at the sight of me being gone.
News and gossip of a virus running around like a plague. From Wuhan. Amusing as my former love came from there when we met in university. She left me like everyone else. I need Freon like a freezer to cook the hate off I feel inside me. I blend in my feelings of worth and self until it spatters as something abstract and abhorrent—like mold on a wall.
Aside from live stream hosts, I found an escape smoking hashish and going to the local brothel with colleagues. I ventured further and further from recognizing who I am. And the news of COVID had only made it worse. And n my hometown near Luoyang they put dirt and and tree trunks to block the roads to keep people from coming in and going out. I went along like getting stuck in thorny bushes and my calves left burnt. The factory became like a firecracker left held in hands pointing up to the sky. Like there is a thing like hope. There is none—gone like air out of a balloon. My fate was stolen away.
Security wanes no matter the solidity of the rock—just take enough rain to form a flood to erode—like banks as paper—pretty on the outside but not secure when the money is all gone.
Within the factory we were not receiving our allowances like we did before. Amongst stress of Covid and its unknowns we became like fish in a shrinking pool of water—agitated and biting each others scales. Abrasion. Friction. An unleashed turmoil to become a tsunami of emotions. Class felt like an overhead lamp causing the eyes to go red and burn.
Cases popped up like sprouting trees with rhizomes. When we wanted our own rooms we were told it was not a possibility. Healthy stuck with sick like classes mixing—a metaphor of it all—anger soar like geyser. Covid became a judicial sentence. Amongst a couple months before the banks failed and people could not get the money they put in. Large sums! And when the anger rose it set off the codes on our phones. Everyone must show their status. If one was positive for Covid their icon was red to indicate level of restriction—one must stay home regardless if the food that came from the government was fresh or if it even ever came at all. Green was good. But soon if you criticized the banking failure your code was red to keep one quit. The virus was the police—a means to shut up somebody like a baton. And the batons would come at the factory. Causes soon that political red of a dot was mixed with the green to allow infection to the healthy, which mean the baton of the government saying the worth of us—we were meant to shut up and is our part at the factory and ass caged dogs. Like the paper banks—when the money ran out the codes were sent to red to keep mouths homes while plain clothes cops beat the working class in the name of the communist party. Our party became paradoxical as the sickle and hammer—as it became more of the baton to make the money run and build the iPhones that make happy elites in Beijing who couldn’t care about zhengzhou. Like ants escaping the confines of an anthill drowning in the rain. Popping like bubbles in anguish.
Everything was blended in this world. Even Lily was not who she seemed. But I rather save that for another time.
The bubble was extended and the people left the confines of their residents on the company grounds despite orders that all must stay within due to COVID. Enough had formed for rebellion. Outside on the grounds the workers threw rocks, bottles, and metal fence at security in to shut them up. The batons came. iPhones were out to record what was happening. The image was bad and the workers were paid to leave the commotion and uprising as a means of saving face.
Heaven’s mandate was showing—the promise that all would be in order from the authority provided over all—no natural disasters—and I could smell flood water in the future. Beijing was not so efficiently coupled to Henan. And the security provided was looking like a facade—like glowing skyscrapers pointing at heaven—but in reality most of the buildings had nothing inside of them—bubbles to burst like the agitation felt at Foxconn.
Lily was a facade—Lily was actually Chang’e putting a show on iPhones, with perpetual hooks extending like a limb from the screen for men to bite on. Money like a work for hungry sparrows everywhere—a curse running through the zeitgeist of the time—and it was looking like the concrete was crumbling around the barriers to keep floodwaters out.
I want to laugh at the thought of small talk on peaches—the irrigation dug to make land fertile was looking more like the weapon to cause immense harm—there was a contagion besides COVID—the act of treating others as an end instead of ends to themselves—agency lost. It the slap of reality was going to come like a comet wiping extinct the good and the bad—as the water would come and cause the loss of life. In Shangqiu a girl of paper was abandoned by parents in poverty while some officials sent their kids to school abroad with sports cars—one of those princesses ran over someone and even thought heaven made him too perfect to face Justice. Something was wrong and scarily felt like it just begun.
submitted by taiyuan41 to writers [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:18 taiyuan41 Napalm part 1

It felt frustrating in Chongqing. I was rather stuck in Hechuan. I got accustomed to lajiao (spice) there. I was a Midwesterner at the age of 22. I was raised in Illinois. I became a manic—a Ferris wheel on fire—I was hiding under a bed in a hotel. Bold like napalm. Sometimes I can never stop. Even when I was 18 in a ward arguing with staff. Always want to fight things. That’s why I refused the meds and went on a plane from America to China. I was going to be an English teacher. And like a light switch, the change and SSRIs turned me into a mess. It would be my first time experiencing psychosis. My biggest issue. I never imagined I would be stuck illegally in a country suffering a psychotic episode in my early twenties.
Transplanted as pollen. I was left with a backpack and a cellphone. With a downloaded app called WeChat. I had arrogantly quit a university job in a fit. Spent the past months full of energy and not sleeping and neglecting myself, including not eating, to work on a novel. Not considering myself normally religious, I had obsessed over occult ideas during that time. Spending nights reading Aleister Crowley—haven taken a rusty pocket knife to carve a pentagram on my chest for spiritual protection.
I did not have funds to fly home. My visa was connected to my previous job, which meant I had now made it void. I was an illegal resident now in China.
I used a nifty app called WeChat as a messaging app, it allows users to find people near them that are also looking for others. It was like a virtual pond. All kinds of people, including sex workers trying to make things happen.
It could with luck be used to find people looking for people in terms of other kinds of work. It was helpful on many occasions for finding gigs working at English training schools and also finding work as a private tutor for people.
WeChat also works as a digital wallet.
Mania makes me irritable. Enough to tell a boss to fuck off. Thoughts ricochet within me. Bumper cars collide.
Being stuck and angry sucks. I scrolled and scrolled on a Huawei phone.
Absolutely pissed off at this world.
Pissed at the times police wanted to take me away for being a mess.
Sometimes women get pissed. Scrolling through their phones. Angry at their cheating husbands. It really is not that hard to have flair—be a damn white oddity. Like moths to a porchlight. Particles of sand through hands. This is when I first started the habit of it…
I rather go by a rather empty name of Taishen… with further explanation needed but now is not convenient. But I assure it is interesting enough and has some importance.
Habits are various in nature in how they attach to and eat at marrow—like atom bombs flashing as rays evaporating DNA—sets in a way less than human as putting myself in the cage of bad things taken up—my time as a former heroin addict is left as stretch marks on me in various ways. The same goes for the first time I found myself making arrangements with middle aged married women while desperation of waves whiplashed me like sandpaper hands coming at me to leave me in a tiring state of abrasion.
I had spent a night snuck away into a hotel. Found someone on a business trip. Instead of registering I waited to sneak along into the hotel elevator amongst a group of others attending the hotel, as I had no card. I headed to a designated room number. Originally I was sitting in a park. Playing on WeChat and found someone in their mid-thirties. Pictures were exchanged and I said no. She brought up paying for the hotel if I arrived. I agreed and went along.
When I met I washed up after her and we used our phones to awkwardly translate what we would do.
Room service knocked. I found myself hidden under a bed as I was not registered to be there.
It seems unusual that it was around this time I had started working on a story of my life as a heroin addict when I got caught up in my worse manic episode ever experienced during my age of 22. Finished half that story before never going back to it after my manic episode had ended. Now I am here writing about it and wondering if the same can happen again in the process of this work.
It feels extremely cliché I would write a novel about struggles with heroin addiction. It has been done many times. It’s just lame of me.
I feel like my thoughts are bit off. I left the hotel the next morning with the little money I did have on a debit card. Turns out the woman was from Taiyuan. It is a city in the northern part of China in the province of Shanxi—coal country with the worst air pollution in China. She has a colleague in Taiyuan that takes courses at an English training center. I was able to contact this place in the morning via a shared contact on WeChat given to me by the stranger I met that night.
Before I knew it I was sending my information and documents in my backpack at an internet café in a fax—with the intent that the woman agreed to share my information to the training center as she shared my contact to its hiring manager. It would land me a job that day that would help me out of my situation. Things turned not quite out as I expected though. I was shifted like a ball to somebody else to contact for a training center geared to teaching children.
I took what I had and ran off to a train station after taking the public transit. Unfortunately I was shit for money and could not afford a high speed rail pass. The slow train would take thirty-two hours to get to my destination. I would have taken a room with a bed but all I could afford was a hard seat for the travel.
Things were getting better for me in the circumstance considering I had found someone willing to take me for work despite my visa situation.
The thirty-two hour train ride was horrendous in some ways, but mostly I was in excitement despite the circumstances. I’m always giddy when disappointed. I moved up and down the aisle of the train. I could not speak mandarin, but it did not stop me from trying to interact with everyone. I talked many ears off during the train ride. I went up and down the aisle trying to interact as a moth to porchlights—I could not stop even if I had wanted to. I found great enjoyment the times I did get to sit across a table from somebody my age heading to Taiyuan from Chongqing. They were a university student returning to their hometown. Another passenger who sat beside me was an elderly man with hard boiled eggs, he was eating one after another one. I highly enjoyed each and every conversation that I had. It was like my head was a lightbulb wanting June bugs to bang against it with the intensity of Roman candles shot at my mouth of nicotine tinged teeth.
“If you find someone in Shanxi it is practice to pay the family money before you can get married. You would also have to already own a home and a car,” told my new friend across in their seat from me—a university passenger friend named David.
“Not necessarily what I was looking for. When is the next stop for snacks?” When the train stops I am able to get out and to have a walk onto the platform to buy various goods from the vendors to take back with me to eat along the ride to Taiyuan.
I had all my important documents tucked in my bag. This included my health clearance and obviously I made no mention of my mental health diagnosis or history to the doctor who had to evaluate me. My diploma and TEFL certificate were tucked away securely. A TEFL is a certificate that stands for Teaching English as a Foreign Language, it qualifies me to teach English as a second language abroad—it had only took a few months of taking a course online that I had paid for to obtain.
It is easy to be happy when you can trick yourself as your own con artist. Mania can make you deceive yourself. One can be doused in napalm and still not fully recognize what is actually going on. Same goes the flicking of psychosis. Even when I have nothing I find myself in my radiating irritation the most qualified of things—the velocity of my rhythm sets me out of an orbit.
The pressure cooker keeps me moving like a propeller at times. I finally arrived at Taiyuan. I arrived at the station to be greeted by Ryan my manager and his assistant Jennifer. We had our hello and introduction and they helped me get to a taxi that would bring me to my new apartment. I finally had a residence again. Apparently they were desperate for a teacher. The last teacher was from New Mexico and apparently they pulled a midnight run—that is when a teacher in the middle of the night disappears onto a plane back home without any notification of it.
The apartment was okay. On the fourth floor with no elevator, so it was a bit of a climb up a dark stairwell not lit correctly.
My job was a training center that had a location near Yingze Park in the center of the city. I was to be paid in cash via envelopes. I would assist in teaching kindergarten all the way up to high school aged students there in private lessons paid by their parents. I would also be assigned by my company to various primary schools in the city. I would take public buses to various schools paid by the company I worked for to give English lessons as I bounced around to various classrooms and schools in the city. Often I would receive a phone call to avoid going to work that day if my boss got inside input that officials would be doing raids to check foreigners’ visas that day.
A taxi ride would always be a thrill. Caused me nerves at first, but I came to love the flying in dangerous ways along a busy road. I remember a driver beeping their horn away as they drove onto the sidewalk to pass people. They treated the pedestrians as if they were in the wrong. I came flying in front of a primary school at its front gates. I was going to start teaching a first grade classroom and a kindergarten classroom. The way schools are set up is with a wall around the entirety of the exterior of the school. There is a gate at the front where one or two security will be waiting to let people in and out of the complex of the school.
I walked in front of the gate to greet the security. It was my first time with an assignment at this school. The guard said they had never seen me before and wouldn’t let me in. Not a big nuisance while I called my boss who then called the school to sort out the situation.
I miss the classroom so much. I ended up teaching in China for five years at various training schools. After returning to Illinois, I still taught as a primary school teacher in a public school.
I often feel extremely ugly from inside to my outside, but something is attractive there. This does not come just in terms of flirting and relationships—mania makes me a genuine lightbulb that flickers in a way that encourages the insects to me—everyone looks like a June bug—this is what I have come to understand about life. But that ugly does kind of stay like rot in a cavity that leaves a bad taste in the mouth that smells foul—hoping nobody catches the smell near me—it must tie into my struggles with bulimia over the years.
The same goes for my years as a teacher—in relation to the whole lightbulb phenomenon—I’m positive it is tied to mania and hypomania. The younger students always were fixated on the information I was teaching to them. I kept over the years methods taught to me and self-taught that I found extremely effective with younger students when it comes to teaching.
Everything was physical in learning in terms of intensity and ambition. When teaching my first grade classroom I would create flashcards for the vocab we would work on and implement in creating new sentences with. We would chant these words together in a way that made me a clown while teaching. Students would yell out the word that I presented with intense enthusiasm. As I walked by students it was expected that while they yelled out the word they would also physically hit the card. Later I would also work on physical gestures and acting out of vocab words and they would follow the actions and phrases with me.
I would often eventually turn the class into two teams. When students got an answer right I would behave comically and full of energy—I would give them a high five and pretend they were so strong with it that it hurt my hand in the process with much exaggeration—the students always seemed to never get tired of this act.
One game I would play involved drawing two stick figures with happy faces on them. Each figure would represent one of the teams for the classroom. I would draw a hungry alligator under the figures. Their faces would also be comical in appearance and full of exaggerations. Each figure had a parachute placed over them and four strings attached. During the game the students would race to say the word correctly represented on the flashcard or the correct word for the gesture I was making. The team that was not the slowest would lose a string on the parachute. If a team lost all four strings they would fall to the alligator who would eat them. The students found it hilarious with my actions involved in it. I would also draw tears and a person praying to represent anticipation and worry of falling down each time they lost a string.
I had a tooth game too. I would draw too large faces for each team. The team that could answer the flashcards and gestures the quickest would have a tooth drawn in their mouth. The team with the most teeth would win and it would look rather funny as the mouth grew and grew with an abnormal and extreme amount of teeth.
I often did other physical and interactive games like having students run to the word I showed a card to or gestured—each word would be attached to a point in the classroom on a wall.
I know it sounds grandiose, but the parents always seemed to think I was great at my job.
The word vulnerable means so many things to me. That word is like the coal to form the generator that makes the guiding energy for the ethics I follow in my life—I hold very strongly to these values that have developed on how to live—I can express it more later but I greatly attach a kind of Christian value system to it, which makes sense considering I was raised in a Lutheran household and always went to church, Sunday school, and went to my courses and went through my confirmation—everyone is a bit of a mop—some pick up clean water and others dirty or a mix of it—waiting to find the people to drain them voluntarily or involuntarily. I was born vulnerable. I walk pigeon-toed and grew up tripping on my feet—I speak with a soft feminine voice. Bipolar disorder makes somebody vulnerable. There was much vulnerability in being eighteen and hospitalized involuntarily for my first manic episode—tied to a stretcher. I have almost a sense of us vs them—the vulnerable and those that harm the vulnerable—take advantage of the vulnerable—I feel this is a very much Christian in the idea of the unfortunate are more holy than the rest of the bunch—children are like that in terms of being born into a cruel existence—a cruel existence I felt at times in my life and so many do—making sure harm does not come to those in need gives the light of purpose to go bright inside like a Christmas tree in my brain—this light of happiness and warmth. I never expected I would fall in love for teaching due to the antidepressant effect provided. It would become my career for a decade. Some grow up wanting to be a teacher, I became one by accident, desperation, and being saved.
Sometimes I inflate on self-hate like a helium balloon that needs to be tied to a wrist. The vulnerability equation is imprinted on my brain.
In my early teens I started struggling with bulimia and image. I remember when my mother caught me in the act. I was not offered help but criticized. I was called a girl for my problems and threatened to be taken somewhere to be fixed of my confusion. I don’t identify as transgender. I identify as a man that struggles with bulimia and happens to have feminine qualities.
I attribute it to circumstances that happened to me—a justification for the pain at times—an attack on aspects of bisexuality.
After a long day of work I did what my young self often did. I went clubbing with friends. I feel like even if I hide aspects of myself such as being bisexual, people can spot it regardless. I’m extremely secretive about it and not comfortable displaying that vulnerable aspect of myself.
My friend from England went with me. He was about six years my senior. Big guy. Tall. The clubs name was Maoye.
I always enjoyed the free drinks available to foreigners—it was done to attract Chinese clients, as the idea was foreigners being there would attract people.
Amongst the hot and sweltering crowd a man grabbed ahold of me. I felt stuck. I was taken off guard. Pushed and cornered. While on me I managed to push him off. But it all serves as a reminder of the vulnerability of my life.
A nail was placed into my hand—a constant burn and reminder of that vulnerability.
Part 2
From self-hate I can also be so grandiose. I am like a Christmas tree that is lit up. Sparklers so pretty that you cannot let go of them, even if it burns your fingertips and hurts.
From heroin to sex, you can smother the pain. You drain the ocean to fill a void in these times. It ties to mania as well. That restlessness and irritability is extinguished by the paradox of throwing kerosene to everything burning. I’m so grandiose to hide my insecurities, I mistake my misfortune as a mark of something ugly virtuous—the neon of vulnerability pulsating like a star within me. Swelling on a pain.
Bad habits. I want you to judge me and tell me what’s wrong with me. Give me a verdict.
Stress a trigger for mania, and I was stressed from the incident I had experienced at the club. I bloated like a tick to distract from locusts of thoughts that could not shut up with their commotion.
I had been sleeping around more than before. My brain was Christmas tree lights. I accelerated on a generator—I made a mixed episode worse.
Tease a disaster when you are heightened like a blimp. Full of hydrogen. Hoping to burn up ad rain down like napalm.
When the pretty candles on the Christmas tree are left untouched—not looked at like a kettle on burner that has been forgotten—the dry neglected tree will into a house fire.
I’ve had four attempts in my life so far.
When I attempt I don’t cry for help. I feel too vulnerable. I’m afraid.
Hate police and wards.
Downing pills.
My past failed attempts made me aware of everything done wrong before. The sleeping pills alone might not do what I was looking for at that time. I bought an electrical cable. This way if it failed I would still be unconscious and choked out by the cord—fail safe plan to end my life.
The words coming out of my mouth slowed down. I started getting second thoughts. Stuck my face towards the toilet bowl while on my knees. Sticking my fingers down my throat. Leaving blood vessels bursting in my eyes.
Went stumbling outside and waved a taxi down and asked to be taken to the local hospital.
Never expected finding myself checked into a psych ward in a foreign country.
Nietzsche has a quote in reference to chaos in life and how it is needed to create a star—this reference holds so much value to me. Sometimes stars hit together just right to create fate out of the worst of things. The ward lead me to meet the woman made of paper. She would one day become my wife. I would have two daughters with her. Forge together as soldiers to face the obstacles in life. Someone who would save my life during a future attempt when I was found unconscious from an overdose. The smartest and toughest woman I have ever known. Someone to build trenches with.
I liked it when she stuck that needle in me for an IV. It must correlate to being a heroin addict. The pushing of something in my vein correlates to happiness and purity.
The woman made out of paper was my nurse in the ward I was stuck in. What attracted her to the mess that is me I will never understand fully.
The woman made out of paper is named Lilu. She was one year older than me and one of my nurses at that ward in Taiyuan. She was from Zhengzhou—a city in the province of Henan that is based in the center of China. I am sure as the reader it would be nice to know why I call her the woman made of paper.
She struggled with her own demons. She also deserves much praise for her resilience and brains. When she was born she was raised by a family that adopted her and often neglected and abused her growing up. Her biological family is distant from her, even though she has an identical twin—they felt too poor to take care of her and made the choice that they needed to be less of one child as she also has an older sister—her twin got to stay with that family but she was given up and adopted. I am sure this must bother her even if she never will talk about it to anyone in her life—as she is one to refuse ever discussing emotions and feelings, as this is not her personality type—she is very much a fighter. I think most would struggle with wondering why they were the one let go of—it also must hurt her knowing that the family would have a son and keep him.
Despite all these circumstances, she graduated top of her class of four thousand students—Chinese high schools can be quite large serving a large region—they often serve as boarding schools. She was a smart and hardworking student. Circumstances never made her stop trying to be the best and moving forward and she never made excuses for herself. In university she also did well and got accepted at the most studious and hard to obtain nursing position at the number one hospital in Shanxi.
I have already ranted and gone on about my affection and feelings tied to heroin. Drinking of entire oceans to fill voids.
Paper is a void. It asks for calligraphy to be written on it to make braille. This way when fingers run over skin, it tells worth—the reason for troubles—it forms connection through those words of declaration—the whining for why things are the way they are—the filling of a void like a heroin addict needing a cure—two papers come together to write upon one another—as a paper I am her typo—I stand as a falling mess with nerves like tripwire, I keep failing and losing my composer, while she stands stronger as a declaration that has been written on—when I was chased I listened to her and joined as one. I wish and intend to always serve the woman made out of paper who has saved my life and has always been there for me, being so strong despite circumstances—amongst the wind of turmoil in life I follow along her path.
It was love at first sight for her but not for me. I had no interest in dating her at the time. I worked across the street of that hospital in an office building for a training center as a part time job. I would teach adults English who paid for private lessons near to Yingze park in the center of Taiyuan. She signed up for classes for me to teach her and brought me food on almost every other day that she had prepared. Eventually we found ourselves coupled fully.
In a pit. I get to burn as paper amongst another’s paper. Eternally. With a life that will keep reoccurring.
Part 3 Liu
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Liu.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be a room for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.
Part 4 Taishen
My former roommate in the ward I shared a room with had paranoid schizophrenia. I was stuck in the same place due to mania, and just had gotten my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
I was so pissed being stuck there and felt I had no business being there. I found my diagnosis to be an insult to me. I was only 18 at the time—taken in on a stretcher. Made me feel very vulnerable and irritated.
My roommate was having delusions related to Christianity and could not stop waking me up in the middle of the night to ask and talk about Jesus. Left me beyond frustrated.
He was drifting from his wife and would go on and on about intending to leave her. Felt he was spied and plotted against by her. So we were both frustrated with being there.
The toilets were special. They would flush what needed to be flushed but not certain things like pills—it helped to keep people from hiding they were not taking their medications.
He had tried to flush his wedding ring down the toilet but he did not realized it didn’t flush. I went to use the restroom later and saw the ring. I told him. He took it out. He found it to be a sign form God that he is to stay with his wife, and there was immense happiness in his eyes.
submitted by taiyuan41 to writers [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:17 CaterpillarFit8268 I need help

Hello everyone,
Please help. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Something happened during my recent check rides. I tried to move on and but I couldn’t. The things happened during check rides still bother me a lot. I will not forgive myself if I don’t report the DPE to FAA. I need your help.
The following things happened during my recent check rides.
Edited: “I am a female student pilot because someone asked me about that”
First Check Ride: Failed
1.DPE held the yoke intermittently for about 15 minutes when there was no safety or emergency issue.
  1. While on the downwind at the ABEAM position before landing at KDMW, DPE held the yoke tightly, and allowed a jet pilot on the ground move to the runway to take off, and forced me to turn to base and final prematurely, leading to a dangerous situation with the jet on the runway was ready to take off.
  2. During the go-around, I added full power first and then attempted to retract the flaps from 30 degrees to 20 degrees. DPE shoved my hand away and distracted me by blaming me, causing the flaps to retract from 30 degrees to 0 degrees. DPE then blamed me for the flap from 30 degree to 0 degree.
  3. DPE incorrectly claimed I did not add power first. When I tried to clarify the sequence of procedures I did, DPEdismissed my attempts and insisted that I didn’t apply power first. Everything happened quickly in several seconds and then DPE failed me.
  4. After we landed, DPE repeatedly asked me to fly with him during the debrief with my instructor and me.(I had a knowledge and professional instructor, there was no reason I need to fly/ training with a DPE, it sounded weird to me ) Later, The DPE sent an email asking me to meet at 1 pm without mentioning the flight. Initially, I declined the DPE politely, but when I decided to fly with the DPE .The DPE asked me to meet for lunch to go over maneuvers and explain what still needed to do. When I expressed a preference for scheduling a ground lesson to go over the maneuvers instead of meeting for lunch, The DPE did not reply to my email for a few days.
Second Check Ride: Discontinuance
  1. I told the DPE that the sky ceiling was low and I couldn't fly. The DPE suggested waiting for conditions to improve and mentioned needing double 1900 feet to fly. After about 90 minutes waiting, At around 1:45 pm, The DPE told me to file a flight plan from 2:30 pm to 3:30 pm. While waiting for the sky ceiling to lift, the DPE blamed me for my confidence when I answered "yes" to his question. The DPE also blamed me for not meeting with him if I said "no" to his questions. The DPE asked me many personal questions, like about family and connections ....
  2. In the cockpit before takeoff, the DPE stared at my waist, which made me uncomfortable.
  3. During the flight from KGAI( my home base) to KDMW, when we near the downwind of KDMW before landing, the DPE did not allow me to slow down the aircraft before entering the downwind; the airspeed was 110( Ce-172). When I attempted again to slow down the aircraft on the downwind, DPE told me to “keep it” and the DPE continued to control the yoke while there was no safety or emergency issues.
  4. decided to discontinue the flight while on the downwind before landing because the DPE held the yoke when there was no safety and emergency issue and he did not allow me to slow down the aircraft.
10.During the go-around, the DPE put his hand above mine for at least five seconds, and the DPE squeezed my hand a bit before he moved his hand away. I couldn’t move my mind away because my hand held the throttle.
  1. After landing and while sitting in the hangar, The DPE touched my hand again and said do you want to fail again in a threat tone. He then showed me a picture of the sky and tried to shift the blame onto me for not making a good decision about the weather.
I tried to hold it back, tried to let it go without reporting him to FAA and move on but I couldn’t convince myself. I need your help. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
submitted by CaterpillarFit8268 to flying [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:15 Bulan77 Help me name my podcast

I would love to hear your thoughts on a name for a new podcast I'm putting together about the way followers of Jesus are working with science or using science in everyday life. I have no trouble coming up with episode ideas, but I'm struggling to come up with a creative name for the podcast.
Here are a few examples of planned episodes to give you an idea of the content this podcast will cover:
  1. We talk to the creators of a STEM summer camp program for kids, what inspired them to create this program for churches, what kind of feedback they've had, we hear what it's like to run their program, etc.
  2. We meet a Christian graduate student who describes what his academic program in the sciences is like, what his career goals are, how his spiritual journey has been part of this decision, what discoveries he's excited about in the future of his specific field, what misconceptions or misunderstandings about his field he has seen or heard among his fellow Christians, and so on.
  3. We talk to a social scientist about the bystander effect, who shares what we can learn from the research about how to avoid becoming a bystander when we see someone who needs help, and how to step out of our comfort zone in order to love our neighbors. Then we hear a personal story from someone who stepped into a volunteer position that was outside of his comfort zone, how he managed the discomfort, and how other Christians can learn from his experience.
  4. We hear from a retired science professor who reflects on her life as a believer in secular academia, the challenges and the rewards, how she grew, her advice to students considering that career path now, etc.
  5. We talk to a Christian humanitarian aid worker who has partnered with scientists in a developing country to solve an environmental problem, and how their innovative solution simultaneously created a source of income for local residents.
  6. We interview a social scientist and a pastor about the topic of slander, what the Bible says about it, what psychological science says about it, and practical ways to understand and use this information in order to help us address slander in our lives and our churches.
  7. We interview members of a church who've partnered with scientists on an innovative project to address needs in their community.
The show's tagline is "Following Jesus through Science & Story," and here are some names I've considered for the podcast:
"Grace and Gravity" – suggests a balance between faith's influence (grace) and the scientific exploration of the physical world (gravity).
"Earth and Soul" – represents the scientific/physical world we explore, as well as the spiritual and faith-based aspects the podcast delves into.
"Shared Horizon" – conveys the sense of a journey, discovery, and a shared goal.
I had also considered using the tagline "Following Jesus through Science & Story" as the title instead, but it's quite long.
I appreciate your time, and look forward to your thoughts!
submitted by Bulan77 to TrueChristian [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:00 ranc1 Social anxiety as rollercoaster (II) - tracks

Social anxiety as rollercoaster (II) - tracks
Social anxiety is often times perceived as bunch of panic physical symptoms, being silent and shy - and that nothing else - but this is only a tip of iceberg. Beneath these innocuous emotions that appear as irrelevant small, teen issue actually lies deep trauma, called CPTSD.
If a grown man, someone who is 18 years old or older - has social apprehensions and doubts how to approach social situation - this is not romance fantasy introversion or shyness. This is serious trauma - caused and produced by mentally ill people and evil manipulative and controlling psychopaths around such person.
The purpose of my rollercoaster analogy is to bring into awareness various hidden trauma elements which current default medical response to social anxiety (CBT) do not recognize at all. This way CBT is telling us that we are choosing to be a victim and that our brain is abnormal, hence adding more of new layers of trauma and shame and guilt.
With CBT and self-help books and various social anxiety coaches we do not know where to go and how to respond to rejection - even with their advice. All we are being told is to put on a fake social mask of being confident - as if this will help us with social anxiety. Because social anxiety is perceived by CBT as a mere shyness. Then in the real world - we get various symptoms which appear to us as panic and many blocking elements which we cannot discern as toxic shame or inner critic at all - because CBT is ignoring the trauma element from the picture. Without knowing what is happening inside us and why - we won't know how to act, where to go, what decisions to make in social situations. We will be as if on autopilot, as if on invisible train tracks - where we copy paste the same mechanisms and tools and actions and decisions that we learned to do in childhood. Because we never had healthy model to form anything else. We had hysteria, criticism, nagging, complaining, discipline, scrutiny, invalidation - as model to sculpture our persona, our likes and dislikes.
"Normal" people were exposed to idiots since their early teen years and they figured out how to ignore the baiting. We didn't. We started our isolation in our teen years - usually around the age of 12 - and we never had lessons in life how to deal around the hate. All we had is isolation and imagination and rumination - and to copy paste the lessons from our life before the bullying incident happened - so our mechanisms and tools around social situations are based on childhood. Now as adults we are in arrested development - where our avoidance from the bullying incident onwards prevented us to learn how to handle social situations without panic and self torturing ourselves. Now as adults - we have only tools of fawning and pleasing others and inferiority complex - as ways how to muddle through the social life with plenty of avoidance. For example, even though I had twitter account since 2009, and I used social media as a way to communicate openly and without much of social anxiety with other people since 2000, I still copy pasted the same tools I learned in my teen years. And it is only after I learned about Fawning as trauma response and after I learned what is narcissistic abuse - that 2 years ago I actually started to use block/ignore and mute button. Before that - I didn't use this at all. I was convinced due to CBT that I must not avoid other people - even when they are abusive and anti-social. That I somehow am responsible for them being angry at my opinion and that it is my responsibility to be assertive with pathological liars and people who refuse to listen or communicate. My tools of socialization were people pleasing and never saying no to someone and keeping my opinion to myself - and agreeing with others and perceiving anyone loud and sociable as a god to follow. I was convinced before that if I block them or mute them - that they will talk behind my back and gossip about me - and I won't know from where or from whom the new danger will come from. This was my unconscious fear that I had no idea was inside me, commanding me to people please others. It is as if I was on railroad track and that was the only way to go in life - to follow this rollercoaster track that do not allow any deviations from the path, and I had no option or choice to choose different theme park.
CBT perceives social anxiety as shyness issue, like this:
Social anxiety as CBT perceives it
Therefore most of self help books and online articles and you tube videos about social anxiety - will explain the social anxiety as a shyness issue. Plus, the CBT will explain that our brain is abnormal, that our brain is pumping out cognitive distortions - and that these distortions are the cause of anxiety. Even though the social anxiety is in its name - clear about where anxiety is coming from - it is social+anxiety. Anxiety stemming from the social element, social factor as toxic people that are causing the anxiety. Not our thoughts. It is not called self anxiety.
After all - if our cognitive distortions are creating social anxiety - then these same cognitive distortions would ruin all other aspects in our life. We would be cripples - we would not be able to read, to learn, to observe. We would not be able to make any kind of contact - even with safe people. Our cognitive distortions would appear all the time even when we are in calm place. And this is not the case. Our social anxiety acts up only when we are in contact with someone toxic and intrusive and anti-social. When we were in contact and when we are about to be in contact with someone who is psychopathic and abnormal. Our social anxiety is see-saw effect - it comes , it flairs up on the surface only and only when we are experiencing attack and assault and unfair interaction with difficult people who refuse to behave in civilized manner.
With trauma - we associated triggers (toxic people) with pain. Other people also feel this mess and all uncomfortable emotions like we do - but for people without apparent social anxiety it is not distressing. For them, toxic people appear as a blimp on their awareness radar. And they move on. People without apparent social anxiety feel panic/overstimulation - but
1) it is not hyperemotional
2) they do not associate toxic people and embarrassment with the pain.
That is their secret - why other people do not exhibit social anxiety. They do feel social anxiety - but it is in small quantities - and without deep education in psychology - they would label these emotions as mysterious or as annoyance or as bad day, or as unfortunate event. They would not self pathologize themselves with psychiatric "panic" labels - because they do not see significance in their distress. They do not perceive it as distress at all. Some of them label it as anger - and they attack the toxic person and argue with someone who is pathological liar hence without achieving any resolution to problem - but there is no emotional attachment with the abusers. Any kind of conflict with difficult people won't affect them to lose their sleep or to quit their job or to contemplate suicide. The important thing here is to realize that all people experience social anxiety - they simply label it differently and they do not have operant conditioning connections with the uncomfortable emotions that would make them stop and start to ruminate and worry incessantly about other people. They do not have toxic shame (deep core belief that they are inept and worthless) and they do not have deep rooted harsh inner critic telling them that they are crap who must isolate and hide away from others. They do not have somatic, body reactions such as panic - and if they have some hormones adrenaline rush in heated argument - their brain does not associate these uncomfortable body feelings and sensations as their personal failure or catastrophe or psychiatric disorder - as CBT is explaining to us and gaslight us into believing that we are mentally ill and abnormal for feeling overstimulation.
Without CBT or self help books which would pathologize their social anxiety emotions, other people simply move on with their lives. People without apparent social anxiety are not gaslighted by CBT into toxic belief that they are worthless, and second class citizens without rights, for having social anxiety symptoms.
Even though I wrote this topic "Everyone has social anxiety" two years ago - and even though I was practically banned from the main reddit social anxiety forum for writing it - it was only the last week that I truly realized that other people do have the same pathologized emotions as any traumatized person has. Until 7 days ago, I believed that other people have "pure" scary emotions and that trauma emotions are only reserved for the traumatized ones. Nope. All people experience the very same emotions that psychiatry is pathologizing in DSM - and then make us believe that we are special in negative way for being honest about our scary emotions and difficult painful feelings. The very fact that I realized this only 7 days ago - tells us that we need constant education in trauma from trauma informed therapists and survivors of abuse who are willing to share their insight with us. There is so much to learn about trauma - and CBT is pathologizing us from all sides in mainstream media and provides us with wrong, limited and self defeating unverified information.
Since non-socially anxious people feel social anxiety but they do not associate it with the pain - it is obvious that operant conditioning lies behind social anxiety - and what we need is a process of Dishabituation and Desensitization which CBT mistakenly label as Exposure. Exposure to toxic people and to toxic people will not make us stronger or better or harder or more masculine. Instead - exposure to mobbing will drive us to explode and to develop physical illness such as cancer and allergies.
Exposure in social anxiety means exposure to pain. Not social situations. Not talking. Not being confident. Not nitpicking our brain with CBT's ABC model of eradicating so called cognitive distortions. We need to remove this link to the pain that we have associated in ACE and ACoA years. Demand avoidance in autism. Sometimes this pain is rational like bad medical service. If we live in poor country where medical personnel is dangerous in its nepotism and getting the diploma through corruption and buying the medical degrees - it is totally rational to avoid such doctors. CBT would label this avoidance as hallucination. In my personal experience - allergy to penicillin was misdiagnosed by my doctor as sickness for pregnant women. At another time, allergy to pollen was misdiagnosed as bone deformity in nose that supposedly needed surgery. Few years ago this same doctor misdiagnosed someone's appendix as a fever and the patient died - and she was never brought in media or trial, it was hushed up due to nepotism, clans and corruption. So if we develop avoidance as response to this legalized criminal activities - it is not social anxiety, it is totally rational fear of legalized murderers walking free around.
The thing is - when we remove our protective cocoon (avoidance and social anxiety) - what happens is 1) suicide idealizations (self aggression) and 2) hysteria (external aggression) - "klikusha" described in Dostoyevsky books. ("Klikushi are people prone to hysterical fits, during which they emit violent screams")
Social anxiety is cocoon that protects us from becoming anti-social hysterical psychopaths who pushed un into trauma. Instead of believing in CBT false explanation of social anxiety as abnormality to destroy, we need to reframe social anxiety as perfect response to impossible situation - like being financially trapped with psychopaths in power.
We only end up with avoiding (which CBT pathologizes as abnormality that leads to mental illness) because we can't control impossible situation in any other way but through social anxiety. We isolate ourselves because we are unable to assert ourselves, we are unable to say no to intrusive people, we keep missing opportunities and chances and not taking risks because of psychopaths in power who punish us for attempting to do anything in life.
With CBT, we will "cure" our social anxiety with white lies that we tell ourselves and other people. That we avoid people and events in life because "we are not interested in them". We will lie to ourselves in order to appease the ableist CBT and to signal other people that we are normal even though we miss social situations. That is what CBT is doing to us. It does not resolve the trauma and does not address toxic people in power. It simply push us to lie to ourselves and to rationalize away the abuse.
Our goal in life is totally ignored by CBT. The goal is to be creative, to have new ideas, to take risks, to organize events and to meet people and to enjoy social interactions. With CBT we end up being a machine that monitors his or hers panic symptoms and then prune them with lies. We won't do it - we won't become full adult with his or hers likes and dislikes, with our interest in life, with our authentic self that is not defined through the prism of confidence and being courageous - but our goals will be in the primary focus. Due to ACE and ACoA we don't have any other emotional regulation system other than social anxiety. Social anxiety is our only way to regulate ourselves. Without it - we will lose any mechanism to soothe ourselves - and CBT is pushing us to remove social anxiety. This way CBT is forcing us to develop mental illness. Even Freud died of overdose, and Marylin Monroe who was treated with CBT tools like medication and endless hamster wheel talk therapy.
Emotional regulation means being in Ventral Vagal state - where we naturally connect with other people without feeling toxic stress or danger. When we are in contact with psychopaths and sociopaths - this is impossible task. When we are forced to be in contact with narcissists and impulsive borderlines - we will suffer mentally. This is not our fault. This is not our weakness or defect as CBT portrays social anxiety. It is perfectly normal reaction to abnormal people around us.
CBT does not explain this at all. CBT explains that our brain is creating the disorder and that our task in life is to be reactive machine that must always expose to abnormal people without our choices and goals in life. CBT does not tell or explain that abnormal people are the problem. The sole problem. That there is nothing wrong with our panic reactions to abnormal sick anti-social people whom we must interact with - in our job or in family.
CBT does not perceive amnesia as problem. Amygdala hijacking. CBT will label this as our personal choice which can be cured if we somehow become macho masculine hero and when we stop being a coward. There is no self identity inside us - CBT does not mention this at all. CBT presumes that once we expose ourselves to social situation, that magically we will start to know who we are, what we like and that our GPS inner guidance system will start to work on its own. It won't. What happens in real life - is that our GPS become toxic people around us who manipulate us into coercive control to be their slave.
CBT does not tell us that we need to rebuild ourselves like in ancient Greek myth, where with each trigger, with each incident, with RSD, with blunder in social situations - our traces of self are eradicated - and we need to pick up who we are over and over again, each day. Toxic people eat away our innards while we stay strung on a rock - and with each day we are forced to rebuild our body - only to be eaten away by predators the next day. CBT does not explain this process that socially anxious people go through - because we are surrounded by toxic people who cause our social anxiety.
Each time we re-learn what makes us happy and safe. Without realizing that this is happening -we are stuck on rollercoaster autopilot, on tracks laid in front of us, and our self is actually Schizoid empty core, as Sam Vaknin said in his video: "When child has no contact with reality, no contact with other people – the child feels estranged from his own life. The child has no self, no functioning self. He has identity disturbance. He has fragmented self. Self states. Pseudo-identities.
He doesn't have central core. There is emptiness instead of core, we call this the schizoid empty core. This child feels he doesn't exist. When you don't exist, you can't have life, you can't own your life. Unable to inhabit his own life. This child become adult who retreats into familiar modes of infancy and remains fixated there. Leads to concept of inner child. Child like element inside us. IFS Model. Construct of inner child to induce healing."
CBT's easy explanation that cognitive distortions are the problem in social anxiety only adds more to the empty self problem. I end up believing that I am defective inside - and therefore I am empty inside. There is no Self inside that comes up with new ideas. Now with CBT I believe that my brain is only pumping out abnormality and distorted thoughts - where my only job in life is to list these thoughts and then fight with them in endless civil war battles with my own brain. CBT ought to be banned - it is doing such incredible psychological damage to anyone being traumatized by providing pseudoscience that didn't work even for Freud.
CBT adds distrust to our own brain, to our decisions, to our ability to trust ourselves. We end up with no goals - because now we are convinced that our ideas, innovative ideas are abnormality filled with so called distortions. And then we become codependent and people pleasers since - if we cannot trust our own judgement, we need to trust other people who are without social anxiety and who are super confident and strong and masculine and forceful - and guess who will come to our doors to lead us - narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. Or another solution is to isolate ourselves and become avoidant with push-pull anxious- avoidant attachment style.
Rollercoaster tracks in social anxiety - as I depict it in the sketch - they are twisted into pretzel as a way to adapt ourselves to sociopaths and psychopaths and all predatory types of people who trigger us into social anxiety. We are responding to sick and abnormal people and surreal toxic ambient of narcissism build on their fantasy and their needs and agenda of exploitation of others and competition and mostly their inferiority complex masked as superiority.
Then we are forced to act in certain way in order to regulate and calm toxic people. And that's how loops of rollercoaster tracks happen. These will contribute to somatic bodily feelings like nausea, panic, overwhelm already present due to genetic and external mess. And we will be forced to repeat it, repetition compulsion. And we are not aware of this. CBT does not explain it. Other people do not explain it. CBT, self help books and other people's viewpoint of anxiety explains the social anxiety as our oversensitivity and our choice. Like with Cassandra Syndrome (The Cassandra metaphor relates to a person whose valid warnings or concerns are disbelieved by others. The term originates in Greek mythology. Cassandra was a daughter of Priam, the King of Troy.) - most people will not believe us when we tell them that the toxic person is dangerous and intrusive - mostly because abusers appear charming to non-affected people.
Ambient, people around us, our history (ACE/ACoA) shape the tracks so it is not our fault as we believe with toxic shame and inner critic that it's our choice and we can change it with logic and will.
Tracks are daily chain of decisions and actions and isolation and avoidance and choosing how to react to people.
If we avoid people, these tracks will become imaginary and more complex with paranoid twists, twisted by memory of past abuse and rancor.
If we stay with toxic people, these tracks will become also imaginary and paranoid, too – part of shared fantasy, tracks will be skewed by toxic people's observations and series of punishments.
We can attempt to reshape the tracks – but they will still depend and then be formed by the ambient (such as shame culture country and or lack of finances or external dysfunction of any sort) – due to Cooley's Looking Glass Self.
Secondary dysfunction is that repression leads to disturbance in immune system, we make ourselves sick by trying to survive in toxic ambient – and then it appears as if social anxiety is problem – CBT – our thoughts are sick – and then this belief that we are abnormal leads to more repression and more of physical illness – that creates new tracks of self sabotage and illness, due to self hatred and self rejection and self disgust – due to CBT we see ourselves as abnormal, weak, pathetic and worthless – Mathew Effect happens, black hole, hamster wheel loop of doom.
With social anxiety we suppress our anger, our wagon of masking runs these tracks being suppressed - and then we ran into the mess, external abusers who are angry and we have no idea how to handle hysterical people, other than holding on to tracks of repression and wagons of masking, as we were programmed to do in ACE and AcoA childhood where our needs and emotions were punished, mocked, ashamed and silenced away. Then any predator can easily manipulate and control and exploit us (Mate Crime).
Up next are rollercoaster Wagons of social anxiety.
submitted by ranc1 to SocialAnxiety_Ideas [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:46 SwanburneGirl Type Me — fairly sure I’m an ENTJ but curious to get input

I've been getting ENTJ on MBTI tests consistently for many years, but I recently took a functions test that said I should consider ENFP (please no) or ESTJ. I'd be curious to see what other people think, even if I'm still fairly sure I'm ENTJ, and will probably stay fairly sure.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
22 years old, female, graduate student with a Bachelor’s in Theatre History. In general, I see myself as pragmatic and slightly reserved (and the people closest to me agree), but I’m outwardly very playful, so a lot of people don’t necessarily see that at first.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
I’ve got anxiety, which means I can be prone to thought-spiraling sometimes, often against my better judgement. I also definitely display signs of ADHD and autism, but I don’t really have any desire for an official diagnosis right now, because it takes time and money that I could be spending on other things that are more immediately important.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Without getting too much into details, my personality didn’t mesh well with my dad’s personality — he’s not very organises, which really bothered me, and we both have strong, stubborn personalities. I also remember being very curious as a child and wanting to discuss things (particularly books, movies, etc.) in a comprehensive and critical way, which he didn’t really understand. I got along a lot better with my mum, since we’re both type-a personalities with similar interests. However, she’s a more conflict-averse than me, whereas I’ve found as I’ve grown up that I’m very able to have a respectful argument without feeling sensitive after, even if I receive constructive feedback.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I’m a graduate student right now, and I’m really enjoying the opportunity to delve further into particular areas of research that interest me and develop a more comprehensive understanding of them. I’m also really enjoying the opportunity to take more initiative in my own research — an idea that scared me at first, but that I’ve found incredibly rewarding.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I do enjoy having time to myself — it gives me the opportunity to do what I want at any given moment without having to think about how others might feel (usually for me this means being able to watch video essays in communal spaces, talk on the phone at any time of day, and sing whenever I feel like singing.) However, I think I’d get bored after an entire weekend alone — I really value time to myself, and I understand the importance of having that slow, thoughtful time, but I think too much of it would leave me bored, understimulated, and frustrated.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I don’t really like most team sports, because I’m not great at them, but I have a lot of different hobbies. I spend a lot of time reading or watching things that make me think, and I try to do yoga at least a few times per week. I’ve also been trying to get back into some more creative hobbies (writing and music), but I often struggle to get past the initial hurdle of perfectionism, and find myself bogged down in details.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I would say that in general I’m a very curious person, and I definitely come up with more ideas than I can execute (I usually know which ones I will or won’t execute, though). I find that my thoughts are usually more conceptual, but I do find that I’ve also been thinking more about my immediate environment as I get older. I’m often curious about developing a more comprehensive understanding of periods of history that interest me, learning new languages, and being able to interpret literature and theatre. However, I find that lately I’ve also been thinking a lot about my past, the ways it’s impacted me, and the ways I’ve grown and developed personally over the past few years.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I think I’d like to take on more leadership positions in the future, even if it would be kind of a new experience for me. I think I’d be good at it in the sense that I have no problem taking charge, and that I have a strong organisational zeal. However, I worry about whether other people will listen to me — I find that I’m naturally a bit overzealous, which tends to put a lot of people off, so I learned to overcompensate by being TOO chill, which is a habit I’m trying to get out of. I’d like to find a balance between the two, even if it’s difficult for me.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I don’t think I’m especially coordinated or uncoordinated. I don’t have a lot of hobbies that involve working with my hands — I’ve had a lifelong hatred of craft projects, but I do enjoy cooking and doing makeup, and I’d say I’m reasonably good at both.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I would consider myself to be an artistic person. I sing, particularly musical theatre (because it’s what I’m good at, because I love picking apart the songs to find each individual shift in thought, and because I really enjoy having an opportunity to be kind of camp and funny). I also write, and I find that I keep returning to themes of ambition, gender roles, and the effects of upbringing.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I find that as I get older, I get less and less nostalgic for the past (I’m really not a ‘longing for childhood’ girlie), but I do have a very vivid memory of past experiences, both detail-wise, and in terms of a larger significance in my life. I sometimes struggle to remain present, often because I’m thinking about what I need to do or what I should be doing, but I find that it’s really rewarding when I make a conscious effort to stay present. In terms of the future, I think a lot about my short-term future (often I’m mildly anxious about how things are going to pan out), and I do have ideas of what I want to do in my long-term future and steps I’m taking to get there, but I don’t have a hyper-detailed step-by-step plan, because life is unpredictable and I don’t think that’s realistic.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I usually help people when they ask (especially friends), and I really like helping people, both because I care about my friends and want them to do well, and because it feels like a compliment when people come to me for advice. As I get older, I find that it’s gotten easier and easier for me to set boundaries if I don’t think I can help someone, which hasn’t always been the case — I’ve often felt pressure to “do it all,” along with the pressure not to make other people angry.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
It’s not my absolute top priority, but it is very important to me. Like, I often examine my immediate judgments on things to figure out why I’m treating some ideas differently than others, because it’s important for me to be as reasonable and close to the truth as possible.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I find that I’m fairly results-oriented, which isn’t always in my best interest. However, as I get older, I find myself slowing down more to do better work, and I don’t think I’m willing to seriously compromise my own well-being or that of others in the interests of productivity.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I don’t consciously control others, but I’ve developed a good understanding of code-switching in different social environments to make a good impression (this has taken MANY YEARS of practice). In general, though, I find it easier to adapt myself to the world than to adapt the world to myself.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I like reading and watching things that make me think — I really enjoy analysing characters and situations, especially complicated ones. I also enjoy learning languages — it feels like a puzzle to solve, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I also love singing and writing, because I enjoy having a chance to be creative and funny and a bit camp.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I enjoy discussion/tutorial-style learning environments the most, because I often need to talk my ideas out as they take shape. I don’t really enjoy memorisation-based assignments, because they don’t seem useful and I never know how many details I should focus on memorising. If given the choice between a creative assignment or a paper, I almost always choose the paper because I’m too much of a creative perfectionist, and the paper feels safer and more straightforward.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I definitely need to break projects into manageable tasks. For big projects — especially when it’s something I’ve never done before — I usually like to make a list of things I’m going to need to figure out, and another list of potential places I could consult when I’m figuring out the information. I find that if I tackle things all at once, I get really overwhelmed. And often, once I’ve brainstormed, my final results aren’t that far off from my initial idea, even though I’m perfectly comfortable adjusting things along the way.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I think I’d like to go into academia, since it’s something I feel passionate about and energised by. Plus, I think it would be a good, varied mix of teaching and producing my own work. Personally, I really just want to continue bettering myself and pushing myself out of my comfort zone in new ways (yuck, but I know it’s good for me). And I’d like to make an effort to keep a good network of friends as I grow older, because I know a lot of people don’t do that.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
More than anything else, I think I’m afraid of being inadequate in ways that I can’t change. I get uncomfortable with uncertainty, and with sudden changes in plans, even though I know those two things are very natural parts of life (I’m trying to work on this). I really hate people who are condescending, or hypocritical, or who aren’t pulling their weight in collaborative situations. And I also hate unfairness or unnecessary cruelty.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I’ve usually got something new and exciting to look forward to, and I’m feeling passionate and energised. Generally, I’m intellectually curious, well-supported by my friends, maintaining good work-life balance, and able to see opportunity very easily.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
I’m feeling frustrated and impotent, or completely anxious and uncertain. Bonus points if I can’t figure out why I’m feeling that way.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I used to daydream a lot (probably to a degree that wasn’t healthy), but as I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed that I spend more time in the present. I can still get sucked down thought tangents occasionally, especially if I’m trying to get my head around a certain concept, but I’m a fairly present person, and I think I prefer it that way. Of course, I still enjoy designated “daydreaming periods,” such as when I’m listening to music, or right before I go to bed.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I think I’d probably end up coming up with analytical arguments about media I enjoy, or rambling to myself about the history of something I find interesting as if I’m lecturing about it.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I like to look over pros and cons or consult people whose judgment I trust before I make a decision, just to make sure I’m seeing all the angles clearly. But once I’ve made a decision, I’m usually pretty fixed in it.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I think emotions are important in my life, but I often handle them with a degree of healthy skepticism — asking myself if they match up with reality, or asking if I’m being reasonable. I don’t like to believe in emotions if I think they’re unreasonable, so sometimes I think I’ve processed something when I really haven’t. I do like to think and talk about emotions with people I trust, though — much more than I like being in the thick of the emotions themselves.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I definitely used to a lot, but I don’t feel the need to as much anymore. I think I just felt insecure about fitting in and wanted to be as well-liked as possible, which led to a lot of social overcompensation.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I don’t break rules often, but I’m fine to break certain rules and norms, especially if I don’t see a point in them. I think authority should be challenged when they’re wrong, and I’m comfortable having those conversations, but I often tread carefully when giving authority figures constructive criticism, because I don’t want it to backfire on me.
submitted by SwanburneGirl to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:37 Cool_Transition1139 How Do I Work Online and Get Paid

The ability to work online and earn a decent income has never been more accessible. If you are looking to replace your full-time job, want to build a side hustle or you are desiring the freedom to work from anywhere, there are more ways than ever to work online and fund a new lifestyle.

This list should highlight just a few ways that you can find work online. Not all will be suitable but I guarantee you will find something to spark your interest.

1. Freelancing

Discovering Freelance Opportunities

Freelancing offers flexibility and the chance to leverage your skills to earn money. Popular platforms such as Upwork, Freelancer, and Fiverr connect freelancers with clients worldwide. These platforms cover a broad range of services, including writing, graphic design, programming, and virtual assistance.

Building a Successful Freelance Career

To excel in freelancing:

2. Remote Employment

Finding Remote Jobs

Many companies now offer remote work opportunities, allowing you to enjoy the benefits of a traditional job from the comfort of your home. Websites like Remote.co, We Work Remotely, and FlexJobs specialize in listing remote positions across various industries.

Succeeding in a Remote Role

To thrive in a remote job:

3. Online Teaching and Tutoring

Becoming an Online Educator

If you have expertise in a particular subject, online teaching can be a rewarding way to earn money. Platforms like VIPKid, Teachable, and Udemy allow you to create and sell courses or offer live tutoring sessions.

Strategies for Success in Online Education

To become a successful online teacher:

4. E-commerce and Dropshipping

Starting an E-commerce Business

E-commerce and dropshipping allow you to sell products without holding inventory. Platforms like Shopify, Amazon, and eBay make it easy to set up an online store and reach a global audience.

Tips for E-commerce Success

To run a successful e-commerce business:

5. Content Creation

Making Money with Content Creation

Content creators can monetize their work through various platforms. YouTube, Twitch, and Patreon offer opportunities to earn money from videos, live streams, and exclusive content for subscribers.

Building a Successful Content Creation Business

To succeed as a content creator:

6. Blogging and Affiliate Marketing

Starting a Profitable Blog

Blogging can be a lucrative way to share your knowledge and earn money. Platforms like WordPress and Blogger make it easy to start a blog, and affiliate marketing allows you to earn commissions by promoting products.

Maximizing Blog Earnings

To maximize your blog's earning potential:

7. Virtual Assistance

Becoming a Virtual Assistant

Virtual assistants provide administrative support to businesses and entrepreneurs. Platforms like Belay, Time Etc, and Zirtual connect virtual assistants with clients who need help with tasks like email management, scheduling, and social media.

Tips for Virtual Assistance Success

To excel as a virtual assistant:

8. Stock Photography and Graphic Design

Selling Your Creative Work Online

If you have a talent for photography or graphic design, you can sell your work on platforms like Shutterstock, Adobe Stock, and Etsy. These platforms allow you to reach a global audience and earn royalties or direct sales.

Strategies for Creative Success

To succeed in selling creative work:

9. Investing and Trading

Earning Money Through Investments

Investing in stocks, cryptocurrency, and other financial instruments can be a way to generate passive income. Platforms like Robinhood, Coinbase, and E*TRADE provide access to various investment opportunities.

Investment Success Tips

To succeed in investing:

10. Online Surveys and Market Research

Participating in Paid Surveys

Participating in online surveys and market research can be an easy way to earn extra money. Websites like Survey Junkie, Swagbucks, and Vindale Research pay users to share their opinions on various products and services.

Maximizing Survey Earnings

To get the most out of online surveys:

Conclusion

The digital landscape offers countless opportunities to work online and get paid. By leveraging your skills, staying informed, and utilizing the right platforms, you can create a successful and fulfilling online career. Whether through freelancing, remote employment, online teaching, e-commerce, content creation, blogging, virtual assistance, selling creative work, investing, or participating in surveys, there is a path that suits your interests and expertise.
submitted by Cool_Transition1139 to howtoworkonlinenow [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:25 ApplyAllDay Email Marketing Specialist - Mogo

About the Job

We are looking for an Email Marketing Specialist to work within our Marketing team and alongside other key business units. You will be responsible for all our email marketing activities with a focus on customer loyalty, retention and lifecycle. You will utilize our databases and CRM platform to drive repeat and cross-sell behavior while collaborating on the design and execution of campaign strategy and seek new technology platforms that drive efficiency. If this has you all fired up, jump in and unleash your talents on every aspect of the customer journey from awareness to application! The base salary for this role is: $50,000- $80,000 CDN Accepting applications from Canadian applicants only.

Job Responsibilities

Requirements

submitted by ApplyAllDay to u/ApplyAllDay [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:20 Pristine-Woodpecker Ironman Hamburg: Race Report

In keeping with the reddit dynamics, perhaps this post should be titled "I have 3 years to train for an Ironman, is it possible?". Reports from some of my previous races, including the first race 3 years ago can be found by tracing back the links.

Sign up

As the previous race in September I left with a good feeling. Having now done a fast (~BQ) Marathon, a >300km bike event and a well executed middle distance triathlon, I figured doing a full Ironman was within reach. The ideal race would be before the summer holidays - when kids are at home and regular training gets trickier, within driving distance, preferably flat (don't want to make it harder than necessary) and maybe with a small preference for an Ironman organized race. This quickly whittled the candidates down to Ironman Hamburg, and I signed up about 10 days after the previous race report. The race sold out quickly, so not dabbling was probably a good move. I found out later a friend from the tri club had done pretty much the same maths, and signed up for the same race, so at least I wouldn't be going solo.

Preparation

I followed the TrainerRoad Long Distance - Low Volume plan, with the swimming workouts replaced by those from my tri club or a group session with a swim coach, and the initial running training replaced by a marathon plan targeting a race end of March. My swimming CSS improved by a few seconds compared to last year, but after the lessons I mostly started focusing on longer, slower workouts, and it wouldn't surprise me if I lost a lot of that speed already. In any case, a fast swim was not really the main goal this year. I did several workouts >=3.5km, neither of which felt hard at the leisurely pace I was maintaining. Open water swimming restarted about 3 weeks before the race, and I was able to get 3 long OWS in as well.
The running buildup had a hitch when a sequence of a kid getting sick, myself getting sick, and a week of exceptionally bad weather meant a 3 week gap in the training. I was never able to recover from this and my training paces never reached those of last near. But same thing, running a faster marathon was not really the main goal and I got enough long sessions in.
The biking buildup went as before, hammering out TR sessions in the gaps in my schedule, but also with a hitch: normally I'd do long endurance rides on Sunday with the tri club, exactly what the plan asked for anyway, but my kids started doing sports on Sunday, so often those would be replaced by shorter indoor sessions. This did worry me a bit, because a long bike session - 180km to be precise - was a main goal this year. Around new year, I swapped the tri bike onto the trainer and did pretty much every workout that was sufficiently below FTP in the TT position.
Nearing the race, I did get some longer 120-130km rides in, including on the TT bike. Experience from the 300km event last year also said that as long as overall bike fitness was good, going longer wasn't really an issue as long as wattage was lowered appropriately. So I figured it should be fine going in with most fitness coming from 1.5h TR workouts, but I didn't exactly feel super confident either.
I never really had problems running after biking, so I skipped the brick workouts favoring recovery, doing just a single one, which went just fine.

Tune up events

The week of the marathon I got sick with the flu or a cold, but recovered enough by Saturday that I decided to run the event anyway. This was not a good idea. Already at the first gel I could feel that my digestion system was still seriously fubar, and that the on pace part wasn't going to go over 25-30km. Things got worse as it turned into a walk between all the porta-pottys in the race. I finished in over 4h. One of the worst feelings was being passed first by the 3h30 pacer, followed by the 3h45 pacer, the 4h pacer, and then having people behind that encourage me "you can do it". I was thinking "I know, I can do it an hour faster than you even!" but that didn't get me across the line any faster.
The opportunity to do a 32km/1000m vertical trail race showed up end of April, far enough from Hamburg to not impact that. According to trail runners, that's equivalent to a marathon, and looking at my finish time I largely have to agree with that. I took it easy, basically substituting a long run in the schedule. Funnily enough, the person toeing the starting line next to me looked awfully familiar. I have to say that the fitness of good trail runners is quite something, and it's kind of interesting to even see more heavily built people pulling away from you on the uphills. I might do more of these in the future.
The third tune-up event was a 120km gravel ride. Due to the extremely consistent rainfall this year (another thing that didn't help a good biking buildup), it was more of a cross-country cyclocross race, and the people who brought MTB to that race had good fun. The ones on actual gravel bikes, less so. People with the bike skills of a triathlete whose idea of a gravel bike was to mount 32mm tires with knobs on their road bike...mostly spent their time tumbling over in the mud. At least I didn't break anything. The ordeal ended up taking over 5h30, but finess-wise it wasn't an issue: 232W NP over the duration, partly from VO2max efforts after each fall to make it back to the groups.
You know what else was expected to take around 5h30?

Mechanicals and nerves

So far all my races have been on the assumption that a flat might as well be a DNF, but with the time and money invested in this one, I practiced changing tubes on the TT bike. I noticed the front tire had a long valve, and the back one a valve extender (this was a second hand bike so likely not the factory default by Canyon), which meant that I would need to pack 2 different spares, or get valve core removal tool, or something. Instead I put the same valve extender on front as in the back. I initially bought a Topeaks thing, which sucked - as all the reviews that I neglected to read were saying - so I ended up buying a Vittoria one that matched the back tire. It's still a bit fiddly to inflate, but works and came with a core removal tool.
The second ride, I went over a cobblestone street and before the end my saddle had dropped to the lowest position. As far as I knew, I'd tightened my saddle to spec when I did the setup on this bike a year ago, so I was baffled as to what went wrong, and seriously worried this would happen in Hamburg leading to a DNF. At some point it turned into paranoia as I imagined (or not) that my saddle dropped again after a workout. I ended up putting a sticker so at the very least I could quickly readjust it back if needed, and detect when it did drop.
As you gathered by now, the build-up was less than perfect and not according to the ideal plan, but I'm an Age Grouper with a job and kids, so how could it ever be? Yet some things were really starting to make me nervous, particularly the lack of outdoor TT rides. When I finally got one in, I noticed that my neck hurt like hell. It turns out that while training indoors I specifically used TT position and even put stuff on the TV to force me to hold my head up, riding in traffic requires just a bit more look-ahead and I wasn't ready for that.
Sleep is one of the most important things for a triathlete, and the 2 weeks before the race I didn't get much. I can't explain why, but despite understanding the importance I couldn't get myself to bed. One night in the final week when I did get in reasonably on time, I jumped awake at 3am with the realization I should add my wife's baking scale to the list of things to pack, and then lay awake for a few more hours pondering over whether I'd remember that in the morning. Brains suck.
After the last outdoor practice session, I put my bike back on the trainer for the last taper workouts, and my Di2 gearing rattled and jumped all over. WTF? I was able to adjust it through Shimano's app, but to this day I have no idea how that suddenly went wrong. My best guess is I tapped the derailleur when mounting or dismounting the wheel.

Arrival

Travel to Hamburg was fairly smooth over the Autobahns and I arrived Friday evening, unfortunately just too late for early registration. I met up with my buddy and we signed in Saturday morning. In the shop, we were considering whether to buy some Ironman swag before we'd actually finished the race. My friend formed a plan to instruct his companions to go and get the gear when he started round 3. I decided to tempt fate and bought a hat and an IM Hamburg t-shirt with all the participants' names on it. There was another IM Hamburg shirt in a nicer color, without the names...and it said "IM70.3" on the back. Nice try, Ironman, but I doubt they sold a lot.
The venue is in the middle of the city center and there's tons of eating places and food courts nearby. I looked for a place serving the most average looking pasta possible. The city itself looked very cool to visit, and if it hadn't been such a long drive I'd have told my family to come over.
I wanted to do the test swim to alleviate my nerves a bit and get a feel for the water conditions. My buddy didn't want to as he argued it would make the wetsuit harder to get in the next day. Tests swim went fine - if very short - and I noticed the water had zero visibility - just as I'm used to in my home pond.
Upon bike check-in I noticed a service tent in transition that had a toolbox with large Canyon stickers over it, and a tech with a Canyon t-shirt. Normally I wouldn't want anyone fiddling with my bike the day before the race, but the saddle paranoia still hadn't abated and I figured that if anyone would know how to properly deal with it, it'd be a Canyon tech. He explained that the saddle needed paste inside for friction (people in the tri club had told me this in the mean time, but it's not like I had it lying around), and also that the screw itself should be lubricated else a torque wrench will give a false reading. Aha?Whatever it be, my saddle mounting got a complete overhaul and I felt at least the 700 EUR I paid to Ironman was good for something. The sticker from earlier came in handy, though the tech did point out the Canyon saddlepost has a measurement scale on it.
I brought my own torque wrench on race morning to check that the screw had indeed been tightened to max spec. That's paranoia for you.

Final prep

My nutrition plan for this race was starting out with a set of 3 bottles, each with 100g sugar, 1 tbps citric acid, 10g maltodextrose and 10g of Isostar for taste, with extra caffeine in the first few bottles. This is super cheap, works well for me, and easily gets a ton of calories in with no digestive issues. I filled another set of 3 to put in the special needs bag. I figured I really only needed 4 total, but why not 2 sets of 3 just in case you lose a bottle somewhere. For the run it was Maurten. I brought my own even though it was actually the on-course nutrition, mostly don't like to rely on external factors.
Weather prediction was overcast, windy, 19-20C with perhaps the sun breaking through in the afternoon. The latter did not end up happening, which probably nobody minded as it'd have made the run harder.
Went to bed at 18h, expecting to wake up at 4am and do a final attempt at recovering sleep. At 21h30, my wife called me (as an emergency contact she can call through mute...) to wish me good luck.

Racing

After pumping up my (latex) tubes on race morning and managing to offload my pump to my friend's friends, I put on my wetsuit, which was a bit more resistant than normal (remember what my buddy said?) and put my feet straight through the ankle rubber. Fantastic.
We went to the starting zone for the 1:15-1:25 swim group and mostly stood around sipping some nutrition and waiting for quite a while as most of the ~2300 participants went into the water in groups of 3. We saw a few people yell for the kayaks after a few hundred meters.
Hit the water and got into my stroke very quickly. Despite the water being 19.5C I felt a bit cold and upped to pace a little to warm up. The swim course in Hamburg is very cool as you swim out of the smaller lake, under the bridge, onto the large lake, around the buoys, back through the other side of the bridge, back on the other side of the small lake, then past the start until one of the interior canals where you get out.
Despite swimming quite wide off the buoys I got elbowed a few times, and gave a shove back for the most blatant case. Guess not everyone is used to swimming in zero visibility. Swim was otherwise uneventful. I got passed by someone backstroking, but also passed a ton of breaststrokers (being a bit optimistic about our starting corral are we?). Exited the water with a satisfied feeling in about 1h25. The swim appears to have been long at ~3950m.

Bike

I took the time for a bathroom break in transition, wiggling like a contortionist out of my aerosuit (maybe next time keep it down for the swim to save time?). Got the socks on, even put on gloves which I don't normally do while racing, but as I didn't care for the time, why not. Walked to the bike very leisurely through a transition that was measured by my Garmin as 800m long (!).
To my pleasure, and despite the huge field, there was very little crowding on the bike course, and for the most part even as a MOP Age Grouper it was possible to pass according to the rules. No bike packs that I saw. This being Germany I expected perfect asphalt but that was a bit too optimistic, and some zones did need to be taken out of the bars. I planned to roughly hold around ~205W NP (70% FTP), in the end I was a bit low - as in previous races - at around 195W. I did not feel any soreness from holding TT position and was able to spend very long periods in aero. Given that I was pretty far back after my swim, I started rapidly passing people.
There was one notable section, that started with a feeling as if you were full on in the wind, and then turned what felt no more than 30-35 degrees, after which I was able to average >42km/h with ~200W. Maybe the initial feeling was deceptive and this was really wind in the back, or some other aero effect was going on, but in any case flying like this was a lot of fun.
I saw a lot, and I do really mean A LOT of people on tri bikes that were on their bullhorns. On a pancake flat course. In reasonably strong winds. Don't do this. For the love of god. Raise your bars, whatever, but don't do this. The speed differential here was very large and it wasn't as much passing as flying by people.
At some point a referee on the motorbike came next to me, and whistled so hard I almost fell off of my bike, wondering what I'd done. Drafting? Unlikely. Blocking? Also unlikely. Littering? I have all my bottles. (Virtual) centerline violation? That's possible, but that'd be a DQ. Just as I was about to ask, I noticed the referees' eyes were not on me, but just slightly off to the side. I turned around and found a rather embarrassed person sitting right behind my wheel. So, kudos to the organization for even enforcing the rules for random age groupers!
I mostly felt great during the bike, superman on wheels, passing about 300 people. After 160km of biking, I did start to get a bit sore, and had to go out of aero more often, and the legs didn't feel as fresh anymore, so at this point speed dropped just a little bit.
Taking in carbs went really well, but 4 x 750ml bottles and not a lot of sweating meant 2 extra pee stops, which did hurt the overall bike split a bit. And no, I'm not going to do the obvious to save time here just yet.

Run

Swapped the bike out for the racing shoes, and off we go. I set my pace for the marathon between 5:20 and 5:40 ish based on a random VDOT table I found on Slowtwitch, forcing myself to keep it easy. Out of transition everyone immediately ran way from me, I checked my watch, and I was already at 5:10 pace. Running at 5:20 felt kind of boring, but that wouldn't last very long.
The run felt really good as well, though unfortunately this was the least attractive part of the course. You basically run through the city park (picking up some small rocks in your shoes on the way), halfway into a residential streets, through a 180, and back again to the next street. The finish section is nicely placed in front of the church square but the rest is nothing special. I guess they didn't want to close down major parts of a huge German city for an entire day just for us, but sob. It makes it easy on the spectators though. You can also see the people from the other direction, and I saw that my buddy was reduced to walking, which encouraged me to try to catch him. When I did, I only then noticed he had an extra bracelet and was a lap ahead, and I'd only just unlapped myself. Small mental hit there. Still, just by still running you pass tons and tons of people and I still felt great.
After a bit more than 2h and after 2 gels, I noticed that they weren't going down very well any more and needed to make a choice whether to force down another one and maybe throw up, or stop eating and inevitably bonk. I guessed than bonking would be the least unpleasant choice, and also less likely to draw unwanted attention from medical staff (lest they pull me from the course), so I stopped eating. After about 30km pace went down to about 6:30 with small sections of walking, and I no longer felt like superman. Kilometers sure feel even longer when you take them at 6:30 instead of 5:20.
I rang the bell, heard my name called out (though I think I didn't hear the "You are an Ironman"), and crossed the line, satisfied. Said hello to my friend who finished earlier. Ran back to the medical tent for a barf bag, that turned out to be unnecessary because my stomach was empty (another "benefit" of bonking?). They offered me to lie down a bit in a bed, and it was an attractive offer that I took up. Everyone was shaking of cold and they were handing out blankets, I'm not sure if that's because of the wind, if it's a normal thing after a full, or it's the combination of both.
Finish time was around 11:30, smack in the middle of the field. My marathon time at 4h was faster than the standalone marathon earlier this year, but that isn't saying much. It was the best leg split compared to the rest of the field, so it's definitely about who keeps running the longest.

Closing thoughts

submitted by Pristine-Woodpecker to triathlon [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:11 AttemptNo6044 705 GMAT Focus Debrief (6 Week Journey)

I wrote the GMAT Focus exam for the first time last month and scored 705. My goal was to crack the 99th percentile which I just squeezed with a score of 705 (I'm not sure if this will be brought down to the 98th percentile once percentiles are updated in the next few months).
My performance by section was as follows:
I wrote the test in the order above and took a water break between Verbal and DI. My GMAT Preparation journey began on April 1st when I wrote Mock Exam #1 on the MBA.com website. Here I scored a 615 as my baseline startpoint. I did notably worse on the quant section which I wasn't expecting going into the mock since I thought math would be my strong suit. Being a business major, I haven't had any math-related courses for the past 4 years of my Bachelor's program which I guess had made me a bit rusty with certain topics.
Based on the mock results, I decided to initiate preparation using TargetTestPrep. TTP was highly recommended to me for its quantitative preparation so I decided to opt for the flexible preparation plan which would give me 1 month access + 5 days of free access. I used the accelerated option on TTP mostly because I was impatient, but also because I felt I was already strong at certain topics. As I did the topics, I would go back to the chapters for my weaker topics and read those lessons properly. For me, this included Statistics and Probability, Combinations and Permutations, and General Work Problems. After about 20 days of 3-4 hours of focused daily study time, I had been through all the topics. This didn't mean that I had completed every question since I would stop after I scored 80%+ on hard questions for a certain topic. With the last 2 weeks of my subscription, I would create custom tests of questions that I had gotten wrong or questions that I had not done yet. This was a feature of TTP that I liked a lot since it allowed me to address certain pain points and continue to stay sharp with all the topics. With the plethora of topics that you are required to know for the quant section of the GMAT Focus exam, the structured approach of TTP was super helpful to stay organized, deliberate in my approach, and prevented me from getting overwhelmed.
After my TTP membership expired, I decided to write my second mock on MBA.com and this time around I scored 695. I felt quite good after this and decided to book my GMAT Focus exam for May 17, which would give me about a week before the exam. In between this time, I wrote Official Mocks 3-5 to get comfortable with concentrating for 2.25 hours. Especially for the Verbal and DI Sections, I noticed that my performance came down to how well I could focus as I had the foundation required to solve the questions, yet sometimes I would lose focus in some of the bloated and overly wordy passages. I scored 625 on Mock 3, 685 on Mock 4, and 775 on Mock 5. With these significant fluctuations in the mocks that I was doing two days apart from each other, it was evident to me that I had the ability to get a really good score, I would just need to be in the right mindset on exam day. With 2 days remaining until the exam, I decided to just take it easy and only do a few questions on GMAT Club since I didn't want to go into the exam feeling burnt out, especially after a week's span of doing mocks every other day.
On the test day, I got there about an hour early so that I would not need to worry. I felt quite calm and relaxed on this day (thanks to two days of taking it easy after a month of grind).
During the exam:
Results and Final Takeaways:
submitted by AttemptNo6044 to GMAT [link] [comments]

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