Let me start this out by saying this is going to be a long one and it happened years ago so this is the full story. I wanted to post in sweet revenge but getting approval over there is pretty hard. I figured the community of reddit would love this one and it's been long enough I can tell people now. Im also dyslexic so plz don't come for me for bad grammar. This spans over a 2 year time period.
At the time l 13 female had what I believed to be a fairytale romance with my bf male. We grew up together as our families had a lot of common activity's and we'd end up being around each other a lot. He was always a rude kid and he'd pick on me but when we got older we stopped going with our families to events due to teenage angst but randomly we met again and started dating (such a fairy tale I know) I got "lucky" because I never got his contact info but one of his friends "Devon " little sister "Lucy" got us in contact with each other because my boyfriend was always at her house and I had a bunch of classes with her in middle school. He was a highschooler so we would not have bumped into each other making it perfect he was always at my friend’s house. Everything was perfect to 13 year old me, however things were not as they seemed and he was worse than he was as a child. He would fist fight his dad in their driveway ,yell at me, on numerous occasions he cut me with a switchblade during our intimate moments (He wanted me to "scream louder"), he would roll over and cry if I did not want to do the deed, he would steal money from me, he would be pissed at me for having extracurricular activities like softball because it would take away from the time I had for him, he got me into drugs, he stole pain medication from me when I had shoulder surgery and so many more red flags I did not see coming. I was so blindsided by what I believed to be a perfect story of reconnecting with a childhood friend and falling in love that i ignored this. One day about a year into our relationship his best friend (Ryan) called a group of us together and he told my boyfriend that he had slept with me the night before. I was entirely blindsided one because I thought Ryan was also my friend and two because we had done no such thing! Ryan showed screenshots of us texting but the number attached to my so called "texts" to the friend was not mine. He also described my home perfectly but he had been in my house because I would let Ryan and my bf go to my house when no one was there to steal alcohol from my parents on multiple occasions. I tried to explained all of this but my bf and all his friends dog piled on me and slut shamed me. My boyfriend claimed I could have been using a free texting app and that Ryan has been to my house but how would he remember all the details when they were just there to steal booze. For some reason my ex decided we were not going to break up and I also stayed with him. Maybe it was the trauma and the public humiliation I felt making me believe this was the best I could do now. No one was nice to me for the longest time. Every class I had people would tell me to "just admit to it" but I wasn't about to admit to something I hadn't even done. This probably didn't help me either tho because people just believed I was a cheater and a liar now. After this my bf would cheat on me openly with any girl who would let him and l'd always find out but l'd tell myself "it will never happen again he loves me" he would go on to cheat on me and abuse me for another year until I finally snapped when I found out he had cheated on me with Lucy the very girl that had gotten us together 2 years prior. Mind you she was a year younger than me and people were already telling me he was gross for dating me because of our age gap. I snapped and broke up with him which in turn made them start dating. I was absolutely heart broken and I'm not proud but i believed he was the only boy that would ever want me he had broken me down time after time to believe I was worthless and it worked. I went to his house to talk and we ended up sleeping together meaning he had just cheated on his new girlfriend with me. Which I am not proud of by any means and to make it worse her brother Devon walked in as we were doing the deed. They stayed together and idk if Devon told his sister. One day after I had come to terms with us being over I was at the school, I had left my bike chained up to a fence. Around lunch lucy walked up to me and told me that my ex had taken it. I was so mad because he knew my bike lock combination and just thought he’d steal my bike. We left the school together and the whole walk to my ex's house I was going off telling Lucy everything he has ever done to me and berating her, just being very mean. She walked and listened. When we got to the house he was nowhere to be seen so I took a rock and smashed his bike lock open and stole his bike as Lucy watched. My ex was riding home on my bike as I was walking back to school with his and we met in the middle and made a trade. I was so mad I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. A couple months later I heard that my ex and Lucy were having a big issue apparently she cheated on him with Ryan. I wasn't sure I believed it at first because I went through the same thing but Lucy confirmed it and she also got pregnant by Ryan. Lucy also gave my ex HSV 2 in the process of cheating on him. Lucy and Ryan became a couple to raise their child and my ex had to just sit in his anger alone. No girl wanted my ex anymore after knowing that he had HSV 2 and Lucy made sure to tell people.
That is the story of the amazing karma everyone who did me wrong received but their is a happy twist for most of us. Years later I reconnected with Lucy and apologized to her for everything I did and said back then and she actually thanked me. She told me if it wasn't for me she would have been manipulated just the same but because I told her everything when he stole my skateboard she never let him get away with any of it thus protecting herself in the process. Lucy and Ryan are living a super happy life still with their son. Ryan has even recently reached out to apologize for saying those things all those years ago and has publicly acknowledged he was lying to other people from back then. And we are all friendly when we see each other. I've had a bit of a glow up and left everyone in the dust. My ex is still as miserable as ever to this day he is alone and pathetic. P.s. all names are changed

So my bf cheated and dumped me about a month ago. I was depressed and couldn't do anything, I text a few times he kept sending kiss emojis saying he still cared about me.
Then one day left my message unread. So I decided after to never speak to him again... I saw he was on Pof and was hurt, i checked it out and sorry but Pof is a cesspool full of men and women that can't do well on Bumble and Hinge... No wonder he is on there.
So I downloaded hinge and bumble been on there for two weeks, have over 10,300 men trying to match with me on Bumble and about the same amount on Hinge.
Somehow I have managed to connect with 2 of the most amazing guys and I am going on my first date on Tuesday which I am excited about. This guy seems really into me and has made me feel more beautiful than my ex ever did.
My ex found out that not only am I on there but how popular my profiles are and is angry, since he said he wanted us to heal and get back to normal he has now turned cold and started being rude to me even deleting me off Facebook.... Before I would have been devestated but my friends have actually helped me realise over the last few weeks that he wasn't actually good for me and was toxic
I never thought I would be in this position, I thought I would be depressed if he ever did that, I still do miss the friendship side but I'm starting to realise it's ok to be alone and definitely not going to rush into things with the other guy.
My only dilemma now is picking between the two (I wonder if they would agree to a throuple? 🤣)

I realized that the reason my ex hurt me so badly is that I saw her as a salvation. Beta, low T, whatever, sure.
I did everything for her, baked, cooked, cleaned, adopted her cats, bought her a bike, a Stata license, tried to teach her how to drive, learned how to cook and bake cakes, drove her all over, helped with her personal debt, proofread and edited her papers, helped her read theorists she didn't understand, always took her to get ice cream or walk around the cattle fields whenever she wanted, bought her every book she wanted.
She was my only friend for years, I took a chance and moved across the continent with her, and then she began abusing me in any way possible: financially, ran up a ton of credit card and loan debt, emotionally, wouldn't let me make new friends, cut me off from my old friends, started fights with my department cohort, accused me of cheating constantly, get drunk and hit me, called me a fag, gay, ugly, barely a man, more than a few times told me to "just transition, you look like an infant anyway, it'll be no loss," called me a colonizer, shitty white man, mediocre white man, once tried slitting my throat and screaming that Marx wanted the subalterns to kill the parasites, meaning whites, meaning me, told me to kill myself every time I accomplished something and that everyone would be relieved, take my phone and call my family racist over text and instagram then delete the messages, install Tinder randomly and swipe in front of my face, have me drive her to Topeka or Kansas City then get angry when I would ask if we could hang out closer.
Now I'm back home and I truly feel like I have nothing to live for.
Other than a hookup or two I haven't tried dating. I go lift and I feel like it's all vanity. I read a book and then I cry that I don't have any friends or children to talk about it with, I look at my body and I see a freak, I shoot myself with the meds I now depend on and feel like a monster that should have been thrown off of the cliffs of Taygetus, I write patches and maintain some software projects as a hobby and that feels futile and vapid, I ask my brother and sisters to hang out and they make plans without me because "I" called them racist from across the country for four years (btw now I know why they refused to visit even though I called up every month for them to come visit). I think about becoming a bitter old man in my 50's and wonder if I even want to know how bad things can get.

Bare with me as this is a bit long.
I need some serious advice and opinions. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months now. He's had some seriously bad luck in relationships in his past. He's been cheated on and left in all of his past relationships so there is a pretty significant abandonment wounds/issues. On our first scheduled date before we began seeing each other regularly I ghosted him due to my own insecurities. I panicked and I know that wasn't the right answer and I felt HORRIBLE. The next day I texted him and I apologized for disappearing and out of fear and embarrassment I told a white lie and said I got caught up somewhere when in reality I just couldn't deal with my own insecurities and I didn't feel I could be vulnerable with a total stranger. Later on after seeing him a few times I learned that this impacted him pretty severely. I guess he cried and went to the bar and drank as he was so upset that I just disappeared. Fast forward to a week ago when I confessed to my white lie because it was eating me alive. I told him the real reason I didn't show and he didn't seem to show any reaction or say anything in response... That is until two nights ago when he suddenly out of no where states "he doesn't know if he's in love with me anymore" and he "doesn't know what it feels like to be in love." (He has already expressed love to me). Of course I'm incredibly hurt by this comment and he goes on to tell me that he felt betrayed by my white lie and was actually very upset with me and instead of mentioning it when I was discussing it or later that evening he waited and stewed on it. I then proceeded to ask about the not being in love part and he said that he loved me and cared about me. (But to me that isn't the same thing as being in love) by this time it was incredibly late and we needed to sleep in preparation for work the next day. The next day I pryed a little more and he expressed that he does he in fact feel safe and happy when he's around me and in my company and that he feels warm and fuzzy and he's very attracted to me and he isn't attracted to anyone else and that he was just upset. He also stated that he's never been treated so well before and that scares him because he doesn't want to be hurt again.
I guess I'm feeling a little confused. Is he just questioning the relationship and me all together? Or is he self sabotaging and trying to leave before he can get hurt?
He swears up and down that he loves me and wants to be with me but now my trust in him is broken. I'm having a hard time because I do love him and want this to work but don't want to look like a fool if he truly doesn't love me back.

Is this some kind of sick joke?:

after the "burial" of "nie wiem" the lotad. the game kept throwing at me lotads... why? does it make the game feel good? thats like if it stapled a dead dog to its body and made barking noises next to the dogs owner. after that. i got ..................... (mudkip) to level 10 where it learns water gun. killer-420 (zigzagoon) picked up a great ball. which is cool. might catch something usefull with it. anyway. petalburgh gym is a normal type. nothing too threatning to my pokemon. level 8 on killer-420 and doggo-ette (poochyena) should be enough. ........................ will probably carry with water gun but i see that killer-420 could tail whip tackle and doggo-ette could howl tackle. so ye. someone told me that using hacking in rare candies is a good alternative. only rule being that you can only rare candy a pokemon untill its the same level as the strongest pokemon on your team.

DAD! I CHALLE- oh this kid wants a ralts.

K. the leader (i think) is my dad.. Wally. (W probably stands for wimp). wants a flippin pokemon (go harras birch not me omg like im trying to get as fast away from this god forsaken place and forget about the lotad and not help you catch one of dem growlers). aight turns out this goblin already has a zigzagoon (thats enough it can fetch you pokeballs stop harrasing me you wall). than we proceed onto the slowest bag traveling ever. alright that zigzagoon was my dads. should i be concerned that this man walks around with a level 7 zigzagoon that he lends to kids? kid left i hope i wont have to see him for..... 8 gym leaders. 4 elite four members. and 1 champion. unless wally somehow gets over being scared of eyeless shrooms and becomes champion

DAD! I CHALLE- OH WHAT NOW?!

turns out i was harrased into interacting with my dad for no reason.. he just said "go to dough borrow town and fight the gym leader there i dont care bye". some random dude called me a "rookie trainer or an ordinary kid". guess who is gonna wake up in an ice bath missing a kidney.

Glad to have read the rules.

so i read the rules and i saw "duplicate clause" where is i encounter a duplicate. i can go away and find a new one. so thats cool. i saw that i have 4 pokemon in my dex... that would be concerning but my current pokedex has only 27 or something slots. also.. turns out i was right thinking cheating in rare candies is cheating. ITS IN THE NAME. caught a wingull tho. named it flap dap. broke into a random persons house. no pokeballs so they must be poor. killer-420 landed a crit AGAIN. seriously. killer-420 is landing crit after crit. save some for the other party members

Thank god i trained

Lady cindy challenged me to a battle with her level 7 zigzagoon.. glad i trained pokemon especially since she had a FULL RESTORE!? WHAT?! I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE AND YOU BRING IN FULL RESTORES?! at least i got a payday (14 hundred pokebucks)

Are we there yet?

ok so i thought i could heal up flap dap and train it to level 6. nah there are the woods. a new member? flap dap only knwows. water gun. thouhgt i could peck innocent lotad's dont know if my sanity would allow me to

Jokes on you game. i was already going to.

in the forest. i read a sign saying about a safe way to train weak pokemon. have it lead the party. AND WHENEVER A BATTLE STARTS SWITCH IT OUT ASAP. anyway i encountered the one and only shroomish

2 crits in a row? what are the- oh damn....

yeah the shroomish got 2 crit absorbs nearly KILLING DOGGO-ETTE. switched her out for killer-420. i appreciate it trying to be the crit master.... but from what you read. you can guess.... killer-420 crit -1 defense on the shromish.... amazing support gone in an instant. i checked the optional rules to see if there is an optional "if 1st killed" clause. but no.... shroomish could have been so usefull. sigh. and if this much damage wasnt enough for killer-420. HE PICKED UP AN X-ATTACK!

You just love to torture me game

a random person asked me have i seen shroomish. i HAVE but I KILLED IT BY ACCIDENT. also we were met with an aqua grunt? some chemistry club people or smth i didnt pay attention.

Why drag me into it?

some researcher used me as a meat shield. and HOLY level 9 poochyena. i knew mudkip was the only one that can safely deal with threats like this. so yeah... i threw mud at it than watered it. anyway i know that so little happend but i already wrote a lot. so see ya next run update

We known each other for about 18 years we had sex everywhere. She used to meet me at my workplace lunch everything now I might get it once a week to once a month right now we finally got rid of all the kids and I’m in the mood because I was in an accident and it affected that a little bit, but I’m sitting here with my Stuff ready to go and she just took a nap on the couch what do you think she doesn’t care she out love with me or cheating y’all give me some advice please any help I don’t wanna be stuck in a relationship like this

I really can’t take it anymore. Nothing I do is right and nothing ever will be enough.
At work I’m constantly the punching bag, getting shit things said to me for no reason, treated like shit just because others feel like it.
I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was about 8 and nobody takes me seriously because I guess I’m just too afraid to actually do it even though I’ve attempted twice and been unsuccessful.
My family treats me like I’m crazy because of my hospital stays over the past few years, in addition to standing up for myself when they start crap with me.
Now I’m in a relationship and have been for awhile, and am pregnant with my first daughter. Every other day is a shit show. I can’t talk about how I feel without being labeled dramatic or causing problems or trying to cause an argument. Everything is always my fault. I don’t think I’m a bad person, I don’t lie or cheat or anything. But yet I’m constantly being accused of something whether it be cheating or being an asshole. Yes I’ve said my share of unfair things but I always apologize within a few minutes. I’m always told I’m not sincere when I apologize meanwhile I am. I beat myself up over every mistake.
He can say whatever he wants to me when he’s upset no matter how hurtful but I can’t say one thing wrong without being told how terrible of a person I am and how I don’t deserve happiness.
But I’m made out to be this terrible person meanwhile all I ever do is try and make him happy. I asked one wrong question today and all of a sudden I ruined the day just like I ruin every other day. He says i make him crazy and he can’t stand me sometimes and I just agitate him. The other day we got into a huge argument and he told me to pack my shit and leave because he wanted nothing to do with me so I did. But before I got down the street he was calling me asking where I was going, asking if this meant we were over when he had said multiple times he hated me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So I went back. We talked and said things would be better and we would forget about everything. But then today I guess o said the wrong thing yet again and I’m back to being accused of so many things.
I just can’t win. I try to leave when he tells me to then I get told to stay. I apologize, I forgive and I forget and it’s not enough. I still end up ruining everything and ruining his life and everyone else’s around me. I try so hard to be a good person and generally I think I am but it’s never enough. So maybe I am just a shit person and deserve to die. Nobody cares about how I feel yet I care about everyone else and try to make their lives better. But nobody cares about me ever.
If only I had the guts to actually try again.

I met this girl, Mary, online a few years ago. She had just gotten out of a relationship after getting cheated on a few months prior, and my own relationship was loveless and fizzing out. Mary & I clicked really well, lots of flirting and sexual remarks. After a few months of talking, I broke up with my girlfriend and started dating Mary.
She was a virgin and wanted to wait until marriage, but we were so in love and certain we would get married anyway, so she was down. I was into very rough sex and she would let me do whatever. This is relevant for later.
Mary had a lot of family issues (death, abuse, addiction, etc.). I helped her open a bank account to deposit a large check her school gave her, but it had to be a joint account because Mary's dad had already opened a bunch in her name. Mary was super grateful and said I could use any money I needed as long as I paid it back.
I started to find Mary really clingy and annoying midway through our relationship. She would get jealous, overly insecure, and it felt like I sometimes just hated her. I learned later this was because I have BPD, but I didn't know this at the time. I spent her money to pay for bills/necessities but didn't pay any back right away because I just didn't get around to it (I eventually did pay her back after ~two years).
My relationship with Mary started to become really chaotic. I could never give her enough attention or reassurance. I found her body disgusting after some time and I didn't want to have sex with her anymore and I could tell it really hurt her when I made faces, so I just did it because I felt like I had to. Eventually, I started looking online in forums and on Reddit to try to hook up with other women who were into harder sex and looked better than Mary.
Well, Mary knew my Reddit username and accused me of cheating. This really hurt me because my dad cheated on my mom and Mary knew this yet still had the gall to call me a cheater. I don't think it was cheating because I made the posts/engaged only when we were in an "off" state (we were breaking up and getting back together constantly).
When she confronted me I felt very cornered and tried to lie and tell her it was my friend borrowing my account and that I had made only some of the posts to try and get advice to make sex better for the two of us. She asked to see proof, so I faked screenshots and a video recording, but she figured out they were fake.
Mary ended up making a post online calling me an abuser, a thief, and a cheater. She told everyone I hit her during sex even when she asked me not to and made her cry, but it only happened one time and she made it sound like it was a common occurrence. I stopped doing it after she cried (unless I slipped up once or twice) and her unwillingness to engage in that was the whole reason I started looking elsewhere.
Lots of people were on her side, and people at my school even found out. I became so anxious, people gave me ugly looks, nobody would talk to me. Eventually, I called Mary crying and begging her to delete her post and make a new one, and after some time she did. She made a new post saying she lied about everything to protect me, and then we never really spoke again.
I'm with someone else now, but sometimes I think about how much I hurt Mary. I looked at her social media recently, and she looks so much happier. When we were together, her skin was terrible, her hair was falling out, she told me constantly she was depressed. Now she looks beautiful and like she's taking great care of herself.
I also just don't think it's fair because Mary hurt me too. She ruined my reputation, gave me extreme anxiety, and she made me feel smothered. She hates me now but refuses to see that she wasn't perfect either. She used to text me every few months before I paid her back to ask for the monthly payment, and it would always end with her insulting me and cussing me out. She always calls me an abuser and tells me she hates me and always will.
How do I move on from this or get through to Mary that she is also an abuser for what she did?

11/08/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
I was given the chance to speak with Ms. Blackwell. Unfortunately, our meeting that occurred today ended in a tragedy. A tragedy I feel my mysterious caller is to blame for. After the events, I have told the sheriff that Ms. Blackwell is no longer one of my suspects and she will be placed in witness protection in about a week.
Mrs. Mayfield was present for my meeting with Ms. Blackwell, both women coming to my office at the station. Ms. Blackwell was given permission from her house arrest to leave her home so long as she went directly from her house to the station and back. I had informed Mrs. Mayfield that what I wanted to discuss with Ms. Blackwell was completely confidential, however she still remained adamant she be present for this conversation, this being the first between Ms. Blackwell and I that she’d finally be present for. I didn’t even bother asking to record our conversation once again.
[RECORDING OF FINAL CONVERSATION WITH KATE BLACKWELL]
[RECORDER WHIRRING]
DET. RYAN SNOW: This is Det. Ryan Snow. I am conducting one last interview with Ms. Kate Blackwell concerning the deaths that occurred in the Appalachian Mountains. Ms. Blackwell, after the events that lead to your friends’ deaths, did you hear anything or see anything out of the ordinary while you made your way to the roads?
KATE: N-no…? Just the sounds of the woods… I was mainly concerned about hearing that… [MS. BLACKWELL LOOKED AT MRS. MAYFIELD AT THIS] Person… The killer following me…
DET. RYAN SNOW: No more voices? No footsteps? No howling?
KATE: Howling?
[MRS. MAYFIELD SCOFFS]
KATE: It… It’s the mountains…
DET. RYAN SNOW: I’m aware, but did you notice any howls that sounded off?
KATE: Not… Not that I… Remember… I don’t know much about animals, so if I heard any kind of… Howls… I just assumed it was an animal…
DET. RYAN SNOW: I see… What are your thoughts on… [SIGHS] Possession?
MRS. MAYFIELD: I’m sorry, what? What does that have to do with anything?
DET. RYAN SNOW: Ms. Blackwell, on record, stated that her memories got blurry when she spotted the Ouija board on the coffee table the night her friends were murdered. Most cases where a murder happened where a Ouija board played any part in, the suspect will say “the Devil made me do it.” I had my suspicions that Ms. Blackwell may be innocent since she didn’t take that route with me during our first interview when she… [CLEARS THROAT] Bit my hand. I just want to understand everything concerning not just her case, but one similar to hers.
MRS. MAYFIELD: What other case is similar to my client’s?
DET. RYAN SNOW: I can’t disclose that. Ms. Blackwell?
KATE: I… I don’t believe in that… I was freaked out by the Ouija board, yes, but… I don’t… I don’t believe I was possessed… Just… Scared…
DET. RYAN SNOW: You were freaked out by the Ouija board.
KATE: I mean, yes, it was weird and creepy that the very thing I was thinking was spelled out, but I told you already that that could have just been my friends messing with me. They knew I liked scary movies and Luke always liked to mess with me because some of the movies actually scared me. But, I don’t really believe in any of that.
[SILENCE]
KATE: Y-You don’t… Think I was… Possessed… Do you?
DET. RYAN SNOW: No, Ms. Blackwell, I don’t think you were possessed. Things like those don’t exist. But, people of the occult do and they do believe in that stuff. Some groups will even do anything they can to prove things like those do exist.
KATE: Y… You think… A cult did this?
DET. RYAN SNOW: That wholly depends… Ms. Blackwell, how did you come across Mrs. Larson?
KATE: I… I found her online… I looked up cheap cabins in the mountains and… I found her Facebook page… I… Tried looking for it to show Mrs. Mayfield… But… I think Mrs. Larson deleted her account… We couldn’t find it… I… I do have the messages I exchanged with her printed out… She left me instructions, so I printed out our conversations to remember… They have her profile picture in them… But after what you told me… I wanted to bring them, but-
MRS. MAYFIELD: I see no reason why you need proof that my client spoke to Mrs. Larson! She obviously spoke to someone using a dead woman’s name to book that place, so there’s no point!
DET. RYAN SNOW: I’m not doubting Ms. Blackwell spoke to someone, but I do need to know who exactly she spoke to. Whoever she did speak to was obviously using a dead woman’s likeness. Mrs. Larson was an old woman with no family and no known friends, she had no use for Facebook. The fact that someone used that platform under her name, tells me they knew no one would grow suspicious of an elderly woman that no one has ever seen before luring people to those mountains to most likely perform ritualistic killings of people like Ms. Blackwell and the other suspected killer from a few years ago. However, I believe the real killer is still up in those mountains and is most likely after Ms. Blackwell because they didn’t get the chance to finish the job.
KATE: Finish the job…? You mean they want to kill me?
DET. RYAN SNOW: Sadly, I’m afraid they may want more than to just kill you. The suspected killer before you was accused of killing his companion and… Taking out her heart… There were two females present in your cabin. You and Ms. Greymoore. You buried Ms. Greymoore and the police found her before the true killer could. The killer needed something from either of you and it was too late for Ms. Greymoore, so now they have their sights set on you.
KATE: W-W-What… What do they… They need from me?
[SILENCE]
DET. RYAN SNOW: Your heart.
[CREAKING SOUND WITH CLATTERING FROM MRS. MAYFIELD’S CHAIR]
MRS. MAYFIELD: If you know this, then why is my client still being interrogated? Why are we here when my client should be freed, placed in witness protection, and you should be out looking for the actual killer?
DET. RYAN SNOW: I just wanted to be sure before I allowed a killer free and placed somewhere I couldn’t get to. Ms. Blackwell is no longer my suspect and she will be placed under witness protection.
KATE: Wait, what? [CHAIR CLATTERING] Wait a second-!
MRS. MAYFIELD: Well, I hope no one else was killed while you waisted your time, Detective! We’re leaving Ms. Blackwell!
KATE: Wait!
DET. RYAN SNOW: Mrs. Mayfield, I still have questions for Ms. Blackwell!
MRS. MAYFIELD: What more do you need from her?
DET. RYAN SNOW: Just because I may start believing this has something to do with the occult, it could also be about a jilted lover concerning Mr. Billings who had been confirmed to be cheating on Ms. Greymoore! Just some sick serial killer using the occult as an excuse to kill! Or just a confused stalker using what happened with the guy before Ms. Blackwell as a facade to kill those kids and Ms. Blackwell!
MRS. MAYFIELD: That sounds like a problem for you! Not for Ms. Blackwell! You will put her in witness protection and put an end to this case without her-
KATE: For fuck’s sake, both of you shut up!
[SILENCE]
KATE: I’m not going away to some secluded place to hide!
MRS. MAYFIELD: Ms.Black-
KATE: Who or whatever the hell killed Sonja, Jasper, Paul, and Luke is still out there and I can’t just run and hide! I want to help stop them!
DET. RYAN SNOW: Ms. Blackwell, I’m afraid that’s not how this works.
KATE: They were my friends!
DET. RYAN SNOW: I know and I’m sorry about your loss and blaming you for it, it wasn’t. Which is why I think it’s best your sent somewhere where you’re safe and where they can’t-
KATE: I’m not going away and you can’t make me! Keep me under house arrest, but I’m not going to let that thing scare me away!
MRS. MAYFIELD: We are done here, Ms. Blackwell. We will discuss this more with your parents.
KATE: I’m not a child! I don’t want to be sent away!
MRS. MAYFIELD: Ms. Blackwell, we are done discussing this here with this poor excuse for a detective! You’re traumatized and need time away from this case now that your witness to a homicide scene. We’re leaving and we are going to discuss where to go from here with your parents present! Good day, Detective!
DET. RYAN SNOW AND KATE: Mrs. Mayfield-!
MRS. MAYFIELD: Good day!
[MRS. MAYFIELD STORMS OUT ROOM WITH MS. BLACKWELL FOLLOWS AFTER]
DET. RYAN SNOW: Shit.
[END OF RECORDING]
What happened after is something I can only blame myself for. I still have much to ask concerning this case with Ms. Blackwell, but after what she went through- what I put her through- I will no longer be bringing her into this case.
I followed after Ms. Blackwell and Mrs. Mayfield out the station, begging Mrs. Mayfield to give me just a few more moments with Ms. Blackwell to be sure of everything I had gathered before going to that cabin to find the killer. She continued to refuse, despite Ms. Blackwell’s protests and how she wanted to continue to comply with me and help solve her friends’ murders. But the lawyer wasn’t having it. We had made it out to the streets where Mrs. Mayfield had parked her car, her going straight for the driver’s side out towards the roads as Ms. Blackwell looked back at me before giving in and goin for the passenger seat. Mrs. Mayfield then threatened to have me sued and fired for my lack of empathy in this case and allowing the real killer roam out in those mountains.
I barely had time to speak or even think before I watched Mrs. Mayfield swing her car door open and immediately vanish as another car zipped by. I watched in frozen horror as the body of Mrs. Mayfield was thrown up into the air, hit the roof of the yellow 1983 Volkswagen Golf without a plate, and roll back to the ground with a sickening, bone crunching thud. Ms. Blackwell let out a piercing shriek as the car continued down the road, zigzagging as it went, nearly hitting other cars and pedestrians along the way. I ran out to the roads, trying to stop it, but it had driven off too fast. I had to forget the car and run back to Ms. Blackwell to keep her from touching Mrs. Mayfield. Officers from inside had heard the noises and ran out to see what had happened. I fought Ms. Blackwell away from the body and to one of the officers before going to Mrs. Mayfield’s side, demanding someone call an ambulance when she didn’t respond. However, even before the EMTs arrived, I knew the lawyer to the Blackwell family was dead.
Mrs. Mayfield was not just a lawyer doing her job. She was a daughter, a friend to many other lawyers and just regular everyday people, and a mother to six and twelve year old boys. And I’m the reason she’s dead. I never should have kept digging into Ms. Blackwell. Now the face of Mrs. Mayfield and the screaming of Ms. Blackwell will forever haunt me. I’m going to those mountains and putting an end to this. I owe it to these two women.
The police had found the vehicle, but it was empty. It appeared to have rammed into a tree, tire tracks on the road just before the crash. The woods where it was found, near one of the trails to the Appalachians. Foot prints seemingly vanishing after a few miles down the trail. As if the person just escaped into nothing after running from the scene.
“She was only trying to help!” I recall Ms. Blackwell sobbing into the sky. “She was only trying to help!”
11/09/2017
4:06 am
[RECORDED CALL BETWEEN DET. RYAN. SNOW AND MR. AND MRS. BLACKWELL]
[PHONE RINGS]
DET. SNOW: Yes…?
MRS. BLACKWELL: Detective! Detective please! Please, you need to come over! Hurry!
DET. SNOW: Whoa… Whoa… Ah… Wait a second… Who is this?
MRS. BLACKWELL: Veronica Blackwell, I’m Kate Blackwell’s mother!
DET. SNOW: Mrs. Blackwell…? What happened…? What’s wrong…?
MRS. BLACKWELL: It’s Kate! She’s gone! [SOBBING]
[SHUFFLING SOUND FROM DET. SNOW’S BED]
DET. SNOW: What? Gone? What do you mean gone?
[SOBBING AS MRS. BLACKWELL HANDS PHONE TO MR. BLACKWELL]
MR. BLACKWELL: Detective get over here now!
DET. SNOW: Mr. Blackwell, what is going on? Where’s Kate?
MR. BLACKWELL: She ran away, you son of a bitch! She ran away to those fucking mountains! The police won’t let us leave, get over here now so I can strangle you, mother fucker!
DET. SNOW: Ran away… Fuck! How do you know she ran away?
[SHUFFLING SOUND AS DET. SNOW GETS DRESSED]
MR. BLACKWELL: She left a letter! She told us about your fucking meeting with Mrs. Mayfield! You’re mentioned in this letter! Get over here!
DET. SNOW: I’m on my way Mr. Blackwell! I’ll be there soon, just please comply with police, I’ll be there soon!
[LINE CUTS OFF AS MR. BLACKWELL HANGS UP]
DET. SNOW: God damn it all to hell!
[RECORDING ENDS]
{ATTACHMENT OF KATE BLACKWELL’S RUN AWAY LETTER}
Dear mom, dad, and Det. Snow,
I’m going back to the cabin. I have to confront this thing that killed everyone. Det. Snow it may have been a cult, so I’m taking dad’s rifle. I need to put an end to this before it kills any one else.
I let Sonja, Jasper, Paul, and even Luke down when I ran away the first time. I’m not running away this time. It’s my fault they’re gone, so I’m going to make up for it. I’m going to avenge their deaths, even it puts me away until the day I die.
DO NOT FOLLOE ME.
I’ll be back soon and if I’m not
Know I did this for my friends. I did this to make up for bringing them there in the first place.
I’m sorry.
Mom, dad. You were the best parents I could ask for. Thank you for everything. I promise I’ll come back. I’ll try whatever it takes to come home.
Det. Snow, I’m sorry. I should have let my friends go. I should never have gone to that cabin. You never should have gotten involved in my case. You were only doing your job, so I understand why you kept trying to get answers from me. I didn’t know any of the girls Luke had been spoken to, so I’m not sure they have anything to do with this. I’ll listen more closely to the animals I hear out there. If anything sounds off, I’ll find out what’s going on. I’ll put an end this case.
God willing, I’ll come back with the killer either dead or with a name and a face.
Good bye.
Kate
11/09/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
As I made my way to my car to drive as fast as I could to the Blackwell home, I saw an image scratched into my driver’s side door. My blood went cold, knowing exactly who or what did it.
The image scratched into my car was a heart and a crude, twisted smiley face.
Part 5

I met a girl at the end of February, and since then we’ve been going on dates pretty often. Things have been going well; we aren’t in a relationship but we both talked about being interested in pursuing things romantically. We also confirmed that we wouldn’t get with others and were both focused on each other and seeing where things go.
The issue? Today I noticed what seemed like a hickey on her neck. It definitely wasn’t me, and it’s left me feeling very confused and insecure. I know it’s not cheating because we aren’t yet dating, but after confirming we wouldn’t be seeing others it feels like a betrayal. I also don’t think it’s respectful to be getting with others while telling someone you’re interested in them romantically? I’ve never understood people who do that and consider it a massive red flag. It’s not like it’s been 1 date, it’s been months.
It’s also not just a matter of betrayal, but the fact she’d be putting my health at risk. I’m planning to go get checked incase this has been something ongoing whilst we’ve been engaging sexually.
I know I need to talk to her about this, but I honestly don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to jump into accusations when maybe it’s not that at all, but I need to know the truth. How can I approach the topic in a way that isn’t inherently confrontational? Thank you for your time.

How do I know if I am deserving of love? I have had one relationship my entire life which was about 5 years ago where I got cheated on. I am 21. I have had a few talking stages but none of them led to any meaningful relationships.
I do all these correct things like grooming, working out, having a hobby like playing guitar but I see people who do none of these things but are still in loving relationships. I have had about 5 compliments my entire life most of them from my female friends but I feel like they are just pity compliments. I have talked to them about being lonely and wanting to be loved and be loved but their response is, the more you want it, the more it is not going to come. How do I not want what I already want? Is it just luck then. I get very lonely especially at night and a feel like no one will ever truly love me except for my parents. I see couples in public, on social media being in love and it makes me wonder what I am doing wrong in my life. I also get jealous of them. Should I be feeling this way? What should I do?

The internet is the most useless piece of shit ever I've looked this up in almost everyway I can think and nothing, I'm playing an RP/Immersion Focused game right now, and the character I'm playing would/did kill both the Brotherhood and Railroad, so I have to side with the minutemen until I get to the institute, the issue is I can't do the quest, this useless shitty character Preston keeps saying "Oh I know you need our help but the minutemen comes first, so go help that settlement!" I HAVE NO SETTLEMENT QUESTS, nor' is he giving me new ones, I can't talk to Sturges and I'm at a dead end, atp I'll f'ing cheat with commands if I have too, I just want to play this useless game.

My nan and aunty just sold off all of our dvds. I kid u not we had 4 whole rows of dvds in our cupboard: the majority of disney dvds that were mostly special editions, illumination dvds, the halloween series, Transformers, Pacific Rim, Muppets, classic 80s and 90s films, horror movies, a few random genres and a couple of box sets we had. They both chalked it up to "clutter" which i can slightly understand but it fucking hurt seeing them put into boxes. Not all of them have gone yet bcs they used those apps that give u only a select few to donate and they give u crap money. We had a PLATINUM EDITION of Sleeping Beauty and it gave us 3p. THREE FUCKING PENCE. Absolutely fuming. We had diamond editions of The Little Mermaid, Cinderella and a couple others also but probably got crap money too. I am a heavy nostalgia person so the dvds meant a lot to me. Despite being a teen, i kinda dislike this new age of online subscriptions and stuff, actually owning physical copies of films is so much better imo. Best believe when im older i am gonna find those movies and get them back, you absolutely cannot take Anastasia, Pocahontas, Tinkerbell and Cinderella away from me nuh uhhhhhh. The only dvds we have now is the first two star wars box sets in the trilogy which are my grandads. Hed go mad if we sold them and rightfully so as they have to be around 20 yrs old now. I managed to keep my 5 monster high dvds as well, im a massive monster high fan so i won't let them out of my sight ever. I plan, along with the other dvs i want, is to get the rest of the monster high films i dont have when im older. Im the only one in the house with a dvd player so now its kinda useless to use if we have a couple of dvds left :(( Sorry this was kinda a longish rant but if anyone understands me itll be here. Justice for all those dvds lost, i hope you go to nice loving families that want you

Gold 2 here. I thought about this so often, and the more this game kills my sanity, the more I wonder how in the hell people got into (and past) Master. Achieving this feels ridiculously impossible to me. I've often tried to find the secret behind winning most of the matches, watched quite a lot of YouTube videos about learning heroes, cooldowns & counterpicks. Of course, you can't win every game (or maybe you can? I have no clue how the match progression for people in Top 500 looks like xd). But either way, I feel like there *needs* to be some sort of strategy right? My highest was Platinum 4 & I mostly play 50% of the time alone and 50% as a 3 stack with my homies. Sometimes we win, sometimes we get absolutely destroyed (happened quite often lately).
So I wonder, if any of these higher beings are here- how in the fuck did you achieve that?
Is it active communation in voicechat with your team, even though they're randoms? But that would be challenging aswell, because maybe not everyone has a mic and some people probably don't even want to talk.
Are you only playing in 5 stacks with people you know?
Are you just counterpicking?
Did you get lucky with random teammates so you've got winning streak after winning streak after winning streak?
Or did you learn like *everything* about this game. Like where's the best cover, the best positions to shoot from, maybe counting down the ability countdowns in your head after you used them?
Greetings! (read in Winton voice)

Hi All,
I am new on reditt, I saw many people post their confessions and share their opinions in their life and help each other. I am 40 (F) from India, living with my husband and 18 year old son. My husband is mostly living in other state since he is into real state business. My husband is mostly busy in his work and our married is getting affected, my emotional and physical needs are not getting fulfilled and this giving me more frustration.
I don't want to cheat my husband since I don't want to spoil our relationship and can't compromise with my values, but not this is unbearable.
Is there any Indian women out there who is going through same issues but got some solution to improve their married life?
Any suggestions, advice are always welcomed . Any mature men can also comment their opinions.

Husband 40F using phone sex services from past 2 years. I 37F just found out last week and confronted him. Does this comes under cheating or extension to watching po*n?
Me and my husband are married from 12 years. We have amazing emotional connect but not much physical intimacy. We were kind of become okay with it. Having sex for once a week or so. But after covid it became zero when I got pregnant by mistake and later had to get medical termination in my 5th month due to anomalies. After that its zero as he fears i might get pregnant and we don't want kids but we do all household work together. We workout, eat, cook literally everything together. And very happy in our life. Today i got to know that from past 2 years he is regularly doing phone sex by paying for it. It's online options. I am completely shocked. Feeling cheated and really don't know what to do. We both love each other a lot but this feels so much wrong to me. He is sorry and want to do everything to make it right. I dont know if couples therapy is an option. I am just broken with this. On one side this completely feels wrong at all and I should just go ahaead and leave him. On the other side , we do have an amazing emotional connect. We are really good friends. The day to day life is happy. I am thinking of giving couples therapy a try and see if things become better also for our physical intimacy. Or this all I am thinking because I am in denial of all this. I am completely confused and surely heart broken.

I am so pissed off that Gabriela is downplaying the kiss. Like girl you literally kissed Bode, you made the move. Now in the extended promo she’s acting like it was nothing and it seems like Manny is trying to make him into some villain for the kiss when he wasn’t even there. She cheated on Diego, they can not get married!

I'm a Californian who has been seriously interested in books, reading, and writing since the 2nd grade.
I've been following writing for over 13 years now, trying to help young authors whenever possible. One question frequently repeated here is: how can I improve as a writer? "Read more" is the common answer, but read what? Is there one book that an aspiring author can read and get it all?
Yes, there is. The name of that book is Eye of the Needle by Welsh author Ken Follett.
Do not watch the movie adaption of the book as a "cheat code" substitute.
Do not search Wikipedia for the book and read its plot summary.
Do not read users' reviews on Amazon.
Do not look up the rationales for the various awards the book won.
Do yourself an immense favor: borrow or buy the book, set aside some time, and read it in good faith. Read it in a virgin way, without spoiling too much, and just enjoy it as you go. Then study the work over time.
Eye of the Needle is an amazing combination of drama, action, horror, romance, mystery, history, brutality, reality, dialogue, description, and suspense.
Having read hundreds of books in my lifetime I keep coming back to the same five favorites, with Eye of the Needle being the best book of the five to learn the craft of writing from. I hope it helps you too.

Can I just say can we Australians get fucking AUSTRALIAN servers. Like holy shit what makes you think as DEVS "Hey lets just lump in Aussies with Chinese with 160+ ping constantly and also the fact we ALL know it's hacker central, I'm sure they'll have fun" Like fuck me dead man. I am sick and tired of getting interested in a game only for it to only have Asian server available to us SPECIALLY considering how fucking notorious it is for cheating. I don't mean to be racist but I am sick and tired of playing with Asian named folk. 4-5 raids in a row I died straight off spawn to a "knife" and Chinese character user name. Yea people can say "Just push through, you can do it" yea nah bud, I just wasted 300-400K buying simple shitty kits only to die constantly off spawn. Now I have around 70K, I would do scav runs but it doesn't help every scav and their mum is also killing every fucking thing to so trying to play scav is basically playing PMC with a even shitter kit. This is meant to be a "more simpler" Tarkov and fuck it only feels worse specially as an Australian. I'd rather just play Tarkov at this point and have at least 20ms and can at least "compete" against the cheaters and hell other players as again I have fucking 20ms compared to 160+. Take this for what its worth but for me personally I'm done with being baited into playing these "cool" games only to find out I get shafted for living in Australia. WE as Australians do not want to be playing with 160+ ping and specially don't want to be versing against cheaters 24 fucking 7.

First time post, so please forgive me if the format is horrible.
I (50M) have been dating my girlfriend (48F) for a year and a half. We were introduced on a dating app. Prior to meeting for the first time, the conversation was great. She was fairly new to dating and I had been miserable with all the broken or emotionally unavailable women who I kept meeting on the apps and would do a one and done dinner date most of the time with me wanting the check after 5 minutes. Names are changed for privacy, but lets call her Steph. Messaging with Steph was GREAT. I have had convos like this in the past though, and after meeting, decided that maybe their initial chats weren't genuine or they would say they didn't care about money and then go on for 2 hours of dinner about their upcoming vacay and how much it costs and they are helicoptering into the place and it's next to George Clooney's vacation residence...GET ME OUTTA THIS DATE! Important to note is that I would focus on only one person at a time and not talk to 10 or more people at a time. You won't see the needle if your constantly playing with the hay. So, I was optimistic with Steph, but not overly optimistic. During our initial messages I told her my life story, my likes, my dislikes, my past relationship traumas, and things that I worked on very hard from my last LTR that left me broken. Specifically, my last girlfriend (Susan) whom I lived with for about 18 mos. with about a 3 year relationship in total. We had history from high school but it was brief. I had more intense HS relationships but this one I always wondered how she was and where she ended up. Fast forward to when I was 45 and she was 43 she reached out and we reconnected. It was definitely intense, as I'd fantasized about just spending time with her over my lifetime up until she found me. There were definitely red flags that I chose to ignore (idiot!!). Before we even lived together, I became aware she was trying to make me jealous at times. I called her out and Susan's response was "Well, it would be flattering to me if you were a little bit jealous". That seemed wrong and cringy to me, but I told her I was SUPER secure and never had been jealous in my life and I would never be jealous. Well, she did prove me wrong. I don't believe that she wanted other men. I also don't believe that she wanted the attention or validation. I think she was a shy girl in high school and I was a player who took her virginity, but actually never played around or even wanted to while we were a young couple. Before and after her, I had streaks of being a bad boy. But with her or with other girls I would be in a relationship with, I took the relationship seriously. Just when I was single I was kind of a mix of party animal and ladies man. As our adult relationship developed, she liked to make it look like she was available to other men. She was fairly attractive and would get looks every time we went out. She would tell me how a coworker started messaging her at night when I was out of town on my many business trips and the conversation would last late into the night, but was innocent. Or how a dad of her daughters volleyball team would be sitting so close that other moms would make mention and he would say suggestive things that only Susan could hear at volleyball tournaments even though he had a girlfriend, but knew Susan was recently divorced. However, she would let me know she was nervous these innocent conversations could lead to more than just friendly. It upset me. Looking back, it was definitely her way to break me. It worked! I would ask her to engage and make it like she wasn't available. I did ask her to make her FB picture one of me and her...but the recent divorce made her hesitant as it would upset her kids because of the freshness of her divorce. I know that was the beginning of me becoming insecure. Asking someone to change their FB? Never been that guy, nor thought I ever would be. There were lots of other things going on as well, with lies and gaslighting. I requested we go to counseling to figure things out because it was during covid at this time, my older parents were terrified to have me over for a visit, much less give me a place to stay. I'm self employed and work was shut down, so I was hesitant to look for my own place. I just continued to put up with the abuse and became more and more broken. Our counselor told me I was no good to Susan or anyone the emotionally broken state I was in. I stayed in that relationship for another 9 months getting worse and worse. When I finally called it off in December of 2020 I was completely broken and never suffered after a break up like this. I could barely move for months and my head was just foggy all the time. I had moved back to the city my kids were at. Little by little, I healed and went to therapy for myself and realized that it wasn't the loss that hurt me so bad, it was the trauma that I allowed to be inflicted on my that made my pain during recovery so overwhelming. It took 5 or 6 months and I started slowly dating. But looking very intently for red flags and feeling zero guilt when quickly moving on from someone I didn't feel immediate chemistry with or see red flags at the beginning. So many broken people in their forties and fifties or people who haven't worked through their baggage from last or last several relationships. Everyone has baggage at this age, but you have to constantly work at unpacking it to lessen the load if you expect to have a healthy relationship. And you have to be choosy with the person you choose to pursue as a partner. When I started talking to Steph, I would tell her that we are all broken at this age, but finding someone who's jagged edges match up to your own jagged edges. The first time we met it was EXPLOSIVE for me. She was gorgeous and kind and I couldn't help myself as I put my hand on the small of her back the entire first date. We ended up Ubering first to her place and then me home. We made out in the Uber until she got embarrassed and made me stop. In the two years between Susan and Steph, I never kissed or touched anyone on the first date. I didn't want to send the wrong impression. I was looking for a love connection and didn't want anyone to mistake me as a man looking for a hookup or to play around. I wanted something serious. Steph and I immediately started going out alot. We really enjoyed each other. We introduced our kids (teens and adults) probably too soon, but we both knew this was going to last. We enjoyed anything with live music to include cover bands at a local dive bar or mainstream concerts to include almost every genre. Around six months, she was going to a big concert at an MLB stadium where tickets were purchased long before we even met. Luckily (or maybe not) a single ticket became available as well as a hotel reservation and Steph jumped all over it to have me as her date to this concert. Steph's long time good friends, Mike (50s M) and his wife Emily (50F) were there with Mike and Emily's neighbors, Josh (late 30s M) and his wife Jessica (late 30s F) were there as well. There were others in the group but were not with us at the end of the night. As the headliner was winding down, we were not in the stadium seats, but in a club area with round tables and chairs. Last call was a long time ago. We all had too much to drink. I left to go to the bathroom as as I walked up, I saw Josh pouring beer into Steph's empty cup. The cup had been empty for a while and Josh had a can still full of beer. I stood behind Steph and Josh. The music was loud and Josh's wife was up by the railing away from her husband and Mike and Emily were off to the right. I heard Josh tell Steph "I gave you some beer". Steph was just dancing a little and had a hat on with her head down just enjoying the music. Josh got louder and said "I gave you beer, you need to drink it". Steph still just ignored him. Josh now puts his arm around her, pulls her into him, and yells "I gave you some beer, you need to fucking drink it". I was kind of in shock a little. I didn't know anyone very well but Steph and I'd only met Josh once and he barely acknowledged Steph and didn't act like I existed. Now Josh puts Steph in a very aggressive headlock and in a very shrill and mean tone yells into her ear "I gave you some FUCKING beer and you better FUCKING drink it". At this, Steph pulls her head out, pushes Josh and turns to see me. She walks behind me to completely hide from Josh. I turned to her with my back to Josh and asked if she was OK. She stated she needed to go to the bathroom. We left for the bathroom and while we walked, she mumbled how alot of the time she's oblivious, but right now, she's not. She told me there had been a couple things in the past to include a comment by Josh's wife that made Steph feel something might be off. It sounded to me like Josh might have a crush on Steph and his wife was aware but not upset. I told her to stay by me and I'd keep her safe. When we got back from the bathroom the concert was over and Josh started yapping at Steph about drinking Fireball. Something about an old bet and she was going to drink a whole bottle that night and he had the bet on video and it was time to pay up. He started getting Mike into the mix and both were teasing (harassing) my girl about drinking fireball. Mike was completely unaware of what had transpired as the music was loud and he and his wife were off to the side. Mike was just having fun with his long time and good friend Steph. I didn't think Josh was just having fun. I was definitely seeing red and I knew Steph was wanting to get out of the situation. I told Josh to knock it off and Steph would not be having any fireball that night. He asked what I was going to do about it. I told him I would protect my girl if I needed to. Now he starts in about fighting and tells Mike that I want to fight them both. I'm much larger than both and in fairly good shape for a 50 year old. I wasn't scared of Josh, just pissed. As we headed to toward the stairwells of the stadium, Josh kept yelling how I wanted to fight him and Mike. Mike and his wife were ahead of us a little bit. Josh leaves his wife's side and comes toward us and spanks Steph on her ass. It was chaotic as you can imagine 35,000 drunk people heading out of the stadium all at once. In the stairwell, Steph and I had the lead with our party right behind us and about a million strangers all heading to the exits with us. Josh continued to harass me about wanting to fight him and Mike. Finally Josh's wife spoke up and told him to knock it off. She explained that I didn't say I wanted to fight anyone, but I would protect Steph if needed. We left for our hotel and they wen to a close by bar. Over the next several days, Steph and I discussed and fought how to address things. I knew that Mike and his wife were very close with Steph as well as Josh and his wife. I knew I would have to be around Josh again. Steph insisted that he was a good family man and just drunk and was choosing to just let it go. Steph also explained that Mike and Emily would be mortified if this was brought up. First off, Josh was at fault, not us. Their feelings shouldn't be negative toward me or Steph. Secondly, I'm a good family man and had alot to drink that night, but didn't touch any other women or assault them. Same with Mike. I only saw him holding his wife. I didn't want to confront Josh. I asked if we could sit down with Mike and Emily, explain what happened, so next time I'm forced to be around Josh, if he started acting up, Mike or Emily could be aware, and just tell Josh to leave Steph alone and she wouldn't be having fireball or whatever shit he might be talking on some future night. This way, I'm not in a position where I have to take action. Because I definitely want to get physical with this clown. Steph actually asked me to just ignore it and the next time we were around Josh, to just hope his behavior was better. This was ludicrous to me. I am the type of man that always wants to get ahead of situations. I hate being blind sided with anything. If we have a plan in place ahead of a potential problem, the likelihood of staying calm and having the best possible outcome is much greater. If we duck our heads and just hope, that's how things get messy and small problems get much larger. Steph and I are VERY different here. Although, I have seen Steph strive for peace and avoid conflict so much that she will avoid getting ahead of other issues in her life to try to prolong the time before the problem needs to be addressed. In one particular family instance I have seen a problem, that in my opinion, wasn't address and is currently out of control and probably not salvageable. We have discussed and fought mercilessly about this. Not always. Sometimes it wouldn't be a topic for a month or more and we would be proceeding with the best relationship I've ever had minus the above issues. In the last 2 months a couple of things have come up that are absolutely nothing with other men we have run into...an old high school acquaintance being one and a person whom is famous in our city that her girlfriends met and got pictures with but Steph was trying to tell me how he was an as to them that night. There was NOTHING with her old high school acquaintance. But the whole night I was seeing things that made me question her. My insecurities and triggers from my past are in full fling at this time. I'm taking non issues or small issues and making them into BIG issues. I am sabotaging this relationship. I don't want her going out of town on girls trips as I don't trust her to stop men from hitting on her hard or touching her. I can tell you that through my core I KNOW she would never cheat. I know she only wants me. I know that she would never want to lead another man on and she cares deeply for me. But I don't know where her boundaries or if they even exist with regards to a relationship. At this time, I completely lost my cool when she was trying to tell me the story about the local celebrity. I was way out of line. I know that I'm ruining us. But I need to have some closure with regards to Josh and know that Steph will have a plan that I'm aware of to not let men assault her or touch her inappropriately. We are not "together" as of 5 days ago. She can't be with a raging jealous lunatic. I can't be with someone who doesn't respect our relationship or my feelings enough to get out of her comfort zone and take action. Not every single time, but when it's egregious. That night with Josh was EGREGIOUS. I know we need professional help but I need my own help first. I'm to far off course currently. I reached out to a counselor this morning in hopes of an appointment soon that isn't for couples therapy. I am hopeful that we can get this right. But of all the fights we have had, she has expressed she understands my feelings and to her they are valid, but can't bring herself to take action. Ugh!!!!

We all know from listening to the phone calls and tracking the shit show that is Jeremy's life, that there are a number of enablers in his life. People that allow him to continue acting like this and treating them like shit. So who do you think is the biggest enabler in Jeremy's life?
Jennifer: she allows him to abuse her and use her.
Rania: He cheats on her and abuses her, and she keeps littering him back in the house.
Ursula: She keeps supporting him no matter how many times he gets arrested.
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