First Previous Patreon Royal Road is up to chapter 30!
“FUCK YOU BOAR” Mark said triumphantly as he raised his arms up above his head in the shape of a V “Did you see that, Noah?” Mark looked to his cousin and noticed that he was struggling to prop himself up off the ground “Oh crap sorry, I got a bit too carried away there.”
“It’s fine, you did a great job. Now, let’s get out of here before the other two boars show up and decide to avenge their fallen comrade.” Noah began limping in the direction of the boar and put it away in his artifact. He couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t get a kill notification for that boar… “Hmmm?” in the corner of his vision, a bell icon suddenly materialized. It shook and enlarged as if it was ringing. He mentally pressed the ringing bell and out came a cascade of notifications.
Spell [Waterball] has leveled up!
Skill [Water Manipulation] has leveled up!
**Spell [Waterball] has leveled up!**
**Skill [Air Manipulation] has leveled up!**
**Skill [Mana Sense] has leveled up!**
**Skill [Analyze] has leveled up!**
**Spell [Fireball] has leveled up!**
**Spell [Air Bullet] has leveled up!**
**Spell [Air Bullet] has leveled up!**
You have killed Boar – lvl 3
**You have leveled up! You have 9 status points to spend!**
It was dizzying to see so many notifications so he swiped them all away intending to manage it all when they got back to their base. He started walking lamely towards the direction of the apartment building when Mark came and helped him walk.
“I can heal you while we trek through the forest.” Mark activated his skills, first, he cast his innate skill [Diagnosis] which halved all mana cost for healing skills while also identifying the specific problem, which in this case was a hairline fracture across the tibia, he then cast [Mend Wounds] and [Heal] in quick succession. Mark repeatedly cast his three skills over and over while they were walking until, a half hour later when Noah could finally walk well enough on his own
“Magic truly is miraculous. A fracture that should’ve taken a few weeks to heal on its own in the old world, healed in just half an hour.” Noah said admiringly “I told you you’d save my life one day, I just didn’t expect it to be this soon.”
“Yeah, yeah, you were right again mister right all the time. Now shush, I don’t want another random beast coming out of the tall grass while I’m almost out of mana.”
With that, Noah and Mark proceeded silently towards their destination. As they trudged along across the forest they heard a cacophony of animal noises, it was honestly kind of soothing but, just as they were relaxing, everything turned quiet. Wing flaps could be heard in the distance and they were just getting louder by the second. Noah looked up and he saw a small bird slowly getting larger and larger as his pupils dilated in distress and focus as he cast [Analyze] on the thing flying towards them with an extra 15 mana put into it to see its level.
**Wyvern - lvl ??**
“Crap” was all he could say as he heard and saw the Wyvern screech and swoop down.
“Noah, what are you doing?! Get down!” Mark hurriedly tackled Noah down to the ground and narrowly evaded the Wyvern’s sharp talons. That was when another, much louder screech was heard coming closer. They looked up again and couldn’t believe their eyes, a much larger bird-like beast the size of a commercial airplane dove down and ate the Wyvern in one gulp.
Noah and Mark curled themselves up into balls hoping, praying, that the massive bird-beast would hopefully think of them as too small and too insignificant to even count as a snack for it. Then, as if to mock them the beast flapped its wings toward them summoning strong gusts of wind enough to make them roll around, suddenly, the massive bird spoke but, not out loud, it was as if it was speaking straight into their minds.
“HAHAHA! YOU HUMANS ARE TRULY SUCH FUNNY LITTLE CREATURES. YOUR LIFE IS SAVED BY THE MAJESTIC ME AND STILL COWER IN FEAR”
The massive bird landed on the ground and proceeded to preen itself while speaking to them. Noah abruptly stood up and said “Um, hello Mr. Bird sir…” but before he could finish speaking, the bird screeched and laughed in their minds.
“ME? A MERE BIRD? HAHAHA. TRULY QUITE A FUNNY HUMAN. WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR INNATE SKILL ON ME, THOUGH I DOUBT IT WILL GIVE YOU ANY INFORMATION WITH ITS PITIFULLY LOW LEVEL.”
“Analyze.”
Roc – lvl 9
Noah couldn’t believe his eyes. Didn’t Rocs only exist in mythology? How was there one standing and preening itself right in front of him?
“HAHAHA! YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR EXPRESSION RIGHT NOW”
“Ummm, Mr. Roc sir, thank you for saving us but, what can we do to repay the favor? Surely a Roc as majestic as you has everything it needs and whatever we could offer you, you could probably get with a simple snap of a finger, uhhh, a snap of a talon in your case”
Suddenly, the preening roc visibly shrunk then morphed into the shape of a human with a multicolored robe around him
“Oh, you are indeed right, you cannot do anything for me. I am only here because I find your little building here quite satisfactory for my new nest.”
“So, you’re telling us to get out of here?” Noah asked as his face turned white
“Oh no no no, this majestic me would not resort to taking the house of someone as insignificant like you. I am just saying hi to my new neighbors! I am moving into one of the rooms, and I am not asking you, I’m telling you.” The roc said threateningly
This was when Mark finally calmed down enough to say “So Mr. Roc sir, you’re telling us that you, someone who is leagues above us in strength and most probably level too…”
“Level? Oh, no, I’m still under level 10 actually but, yes, I am definitely way above you in strength thanks to my heritage as one of the mythological races. You see, all those myths and legends in your history have some truth in them, we’ve just been hiding among you because honestly speaking, humans make some really cool shit. I was an avid gamer myself so color me surprised when game like blue screens suddenly appeared in my vision.”
“I know right?! It’s all so exciting!” Noah beamed at the Roc turned human and asked “So Mr. Roc do you guys have classes too?”
“Please, just call me Talal and no, we don’t. I confirmed it with my fellow Rocs and other mythological creatures but we all only have race and levels as far as we know but, we do get massive increases to our stats per level. Unfortunately, we can’t pick where we put our stats unlike you humans. Anyway, enough talk, I’ll take the top floor and rooftop, you guys get all the other floors, but I will only say this once, since I am taking something from you, you will get one favor from me, otherwise I will not protect you nor will I involve myself with your lives”
Noah and Mark looked at each other and nodded. They were obviously the ones who came out on top of this deal with no obvious downsides, except maybe, living with someone that can pretty much just kill them with a sneeze, but that wasn’t going to happen right?... right?
While they were thinking of the potential downsides to this deal, Talal turned around and started heading towards the building. Noah and Mark hurriedly caught up to him and said “We were previously living on the top floor so it might be a little messy… Want us to clean it up for you?”
“You would do that for me? Oh, but I don’t like it when people are in my nest, I’ll do it myself.” Talal abruptly disappeared from where he was standing. At first, they thought that he could teleport but then they saw a colorful ball flying across the sky towards the apartment. They started running in order to catch up and a few minutes later arrived at the building just in time to see full on concrete slabs flying out of the top floor windows and falling onto the parking lot.
“Guess he’s renovating.” Noah said trying to lighten the mood as he noticed that Mark wasn’t really into the whole idea of living with a mythological creature “Come on Mark, look at the bright side, if he lives here, we probably won’t have to worry about waking up to random beasts knocking on our doors.”
“How’s that?”
“Don’t animals have territories and stuff? Like how wolves and dogs pee on their territory to mark it. Maybe he has something similar.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right”
“Of course I’m right! Now let’s go set up on one of the lower floors. I am tired after having almost died so many times today. We also need to strategize how we’re gonna use all our abilities in order to survive, we can’t rely on that one favor from our new neighbor.”
With that, they started heading towards the building and went up the stairs to the ninth floor which they picked because it was only logical to live close to the powerful neighbor they found themselves with.
Noah filled a couple buckets with [Waterball] which they used to drink and wash themselves with, then, they went out to the parking lot and Noah took the boar carcass out of his artifact and said “So what do we do with this thing?”
“If memory serves me right, we need to bleed it out first. It makes the meat taste better and last longer.”
Noah looked at the 5 feet tall furry boar with the bald spot from when he threw a fireball at it and said “So do I just burn off the rest of the fur?”
“Yeah, that should be fine”
Noah went ahead and summoned a fireball and proceeded to carefully burn off every bit of fur. It took a few minutes and a bit of elbow grease to flip the whole boar around and burn the fur on the other side but they managed to do it. Then they took a kitchen knife and slit its throat, but there was one problem. “Where do we hang it?” Noah asked after unsummoning his fireball.
Mark looked at the now bald boar and said “We could get some rope and tie it to a ladder? No, the ladder probably can’t take that much weight.
Noah began thinking and then had an idea. “I know! I’ll just make something like an arch with earth manipulation and hang it from there!”
Noah walked a few meters away from the concrete floor of the parking lot and began manipulating the earth. It took all of his mana to just make it half way up his planned arch then he suddenly fell down panting.
“Noah! You okay?” Mark asked worriedly
“Uh, yeah. I think I just found out what happens when you use up all your mana.” Noah just laid there on the ground panting and holding his aching head. “I’m definitely not doing that ever again, I feel like shit.”
“You look like shit” they looked at each other and just laughed. They were not laughing because it was funny mind you, they were laughing at the absurdity of the situation. They were building an arch from which they’d hang a boar twice the size of old-world boars, all this they did with magic, real fucking magic. Not to mention that Mark healed an injury that would’ve taken weeks of healing.
Truly absurd indeed.
But all they could do was laugh and accept the situation because otherwise, they’d die and they'd die horribly.

Welcome back to my running series of WWF PPV Reviews from a ‘blind’ perspective (I have no idea what’s going to happen; the results, the feuds or how good any of the matches will be). I have always heard stories of the attitude era and golden age but never watched it myself so I set myself to watching every single PPV event chronologically. I am also watching Wrestling Bios ‘reliving the war’ series to keep me updated inbetween the events with the feuds, and to get excited about upcoming matches.
Before I review the matches, based on the past few episodes of raw and last PPVs I’ll let you know, going into the event, which match I’m most excited for and which feud I’m most excited to see.
The card tonight isn’t particularly stacked, mid card and opener wise, but it’s gotta be dude love vs stone cold. They had by far the best match last PPV and it will be the same story again tonight guaranteed. Anything involving stone cold will have McMahon involved and that feud is the big draw right now. Feud and match wise that’s my most anticipated match.
WWF Over The Edge 1998 Match Ratings
LOD 2000 vs DOA 1.75/5
Double J vs Steve mofuggin Blackman 1.25/5
Marc Mero vs Sable N/A
Kaientai vs Bradshaw & Taka Michinoku 1.25/5
Farooq vs The Rock 0.75/5
Kane vs Vader 1.75/5
D-Generation X vs The Nation 2.5/5
Dude Love vs Stone Cold Steve Austin 5/5
The absolute nerve of the wwf here to book LOD and DOA two PPVs in a row… to be fair though the crowd actually really seemed into this match. LOD still have a little juice left in the tank but they are truly just openers here. DOA I really don’t enjoy their in ring ability. It was an okay match and really not too much to say here. There was a very big pop when LOD won though.
The Rock cuts a promo next and he’s got his own entrance music, although it’s nowhere near as good as his future theme it’s still great that he’s not got that NOD music anymore, he’s finally his own wrestler. He shit talks the crowd but Farooq comes to the ring to get something damage in early before their match later. Not an amazing promo or anything but it builds some hype for later on although this is thrown up in the air as rock is injured from a pile driver on top of a chair. I suppose this is to make rock over as a champion?
Austin cuts a promo and says “mr McMahons ass belongs to me”… okay Steve if you say so.
Double J is brought to the ring by Tennessee Lee with some crazy visuals behind him as he does his strut in the ring but there’s just no crowd reaction apart from a few boos which made me laugh. Steve mofuggin Blackman then makes his way to the ring and double J doesn’t know what he’s in for.
The crowd seemed to be more entertained by the Al Snow silliness on the outside of the ring and you can’t blame them, this match was very very slow. The interference from Tennessee Lee was kinda interesting but there weren’t really many good looking moves, one of Blackmans kicks looked good in the middle of the match though. Another just below average okay match.
Next we get to see who sable has picked to represent her for the match and she makes her way to the ring but gah dayam she looks great tonight. Let’s see if she can get herself out of this toxic relationship… by fighting Mero herself? Mero then pretends to care about sable and lets her pin him… but then the switcheroo and what a scumbag! He gets the pin on sable and sings her out of the stadium. I feel like they should’ve done a little more with this match… or at least the post match angle.
The next match is apparently a “bonus match”? What does that even mean… I know what it means they didn’t have the roster right now for a full ppv so they booked this match in the middle as filler. But to be fair I have really enjoyed the light heavyweight Japanese wrestling recently so let’s see what they can do.
I actually enjoyed seeing Bradshaw just demolish multiple people half his size and taka did well but something about this match I really didn’t enjoy. It didn’t really flow well it felt random there was no story the crowd wasn’t into it… just not really a great viewing experience. Bradshaw was out over kinda here as he demolished the opponents but his team still lost…? I don’t know. But this first half of the ppv has really not been good.
Farooq comes to the ring and the rocks music plays multiple times before sgt slaughter comes to the ring to tell us that the rock has to compete or he will be stripped of the belt. There’s a countdown and rock just about beats the count making his way to the ring with a brace around his neck. If this does anything it only puts the rock over even as a heel, proving he has the heart of a champion, whereas I’m pretty sure they did this to make you enjoy seeing the heel struggling. But this is the wrong way round… Farooq is baby face in this situation but he’s done the heel move and Rocky has done the baby face move. Confusing by the wwf as you route for Rocky in this situation.
Farooq starts off demolishing the rock on the outside but eventually rock makes a comeback and delivers the peoples elbow. Farooq to be fair to him has improved his in ring ability and he’s actually able to have a coherent 1v1 match now. I have no idea what happened in the middle of the match but there was a false 3 count or something? I don’t know what they were going for there but it came off very badly and just looked weird. The rock wins and gets a pop but Farooq once again is playing heel as he assaults Rocky with two piledrivers after the bell. This was just a bad match… the angle was weird the match was bad the roles were reversed I don’t know what the wwf was thinking with this one.
DX comes to the ring after the match ends to help Farooq out to a big pop and they’re clearly the biggest group in the wwf now.
We’ve got Kane vs Vader next and last time these two wrestled I really enjoyed their chemistry so I hope they can pull something good off here, this PPV really needs it as honestly it’s just been bad so far… really bad.
I don’t know what to think of this match. It was average but the slug fest was good in the middle of the match a couple of times, and vaders moonsault looked good even though it missed. The stipulation for the unmasking was an okay gimmick but since Kane won and Vader had to unmask… which we’ve seen multiple times before so it was a little pointless.
Oh man this ppv is REALLY bad so far I just don’t even have the motivation to properly dissect these matches. Vader was looking pretty slow, Kane wasn’t performing that’s well it just wasn’t that great and the crowd had no pops during the whole bout.
The whole next section was so weird… the king literally takes a hall of famers leg off and gets assaulted by a literal like 80 year old? I don’t know what on earth this was all about. I looked it up and apparently Vince was telling Lawler to do this but it just came off as mean spirited and cringe. Please DX, please do something fun and save this event.
DX is very over with the crowd as they do a little showboating and talk to the people in attendance which was good before the match. The nation then walk out to the rocks music for whatever reason.
The crowd was pretty disinterested, chanting boring at points in this match and you can’t blame them it’s been a very slow night with not a lot to get hyped about. This PPV has really shown how thin the roster can feel. We’ve had Edge promo videos recently so I’m very excited for him to come in and mix up the matches in the mid card.
I thought the match was well worked though it just dragged on a little bit too long. I thought Owen hart and Hunter looked great and it made it interesting when they were at each others throats in the match because of their feud continually going on. Road dog actually impressed me as well he took some great hits and looked clean in the ring. I really don’t enjoy The Nations reliance on rest holds, they always do it and in a 6 man tag team match during a ppv semi main event they just shouldn’t do it; tag in someone else and mix it up. The crowd did have one pop for the spiked piledrivers on top of the belt. But when the nation won the crowd absolutely went mild. They did okay and it was better than anything else we’ve seen tonight but that’s not really saying much.
If this main event doesn’t hit then this PPV I will class as an absolute STINKER!! It has to hit, with all the heat between McMahon and Austin at the moment it just has to be interesting at the very least.
I didn’t realise that pat jerry and McMahon were all involved as officials for this match all playing roles to screw over Austin. The odds are completely stacked against Austin. We get a brilliant promo video really hyping up this main event and okay I’m back alive now I have faith that this match will save the event from being a failure. I will note though they seriously need to improve the mid card matches.
It was a great idea to have the ring announcers read from cards, it portrays that they’re just bigging themselves up to levels they don’t deserve, a great small detail to put themselves over as the heel “team”. They all get a huge round of boos as they are announced and brought to the ring, I can’t wait for the Austin pop. People REALLY don’t like Vince here as he’s got drinks and trash being thrown at him in the ring. Dude love is up next as the corporate version of his character, and I think it’s a combo that works really well. THIS IS GREAT WWF MORE OF THIS!! I applaud them for stretching this out as long as possible this is the right type of hype and buildup that works well. The ring announcer pat did a great job introducing everyone to the ring and refusing to introduce stone cold. The glass shatters and the crowd loses it, everyone is ready for Austin to open a can of whoop ass on all these fools, and I’m excited for the first time during this ppv. ALL OF A SUDDEN UNDERTAKERS MUSIC PLAYS AND YES! YES YES! I’m so glad he’s involved in this ppv in some way I had no clue he was going to be here. He will act as a “protector of the peace” kind of character here and make sure no shenanigans goes down. Great work. Would’ve liked to see him actually wrestle though 😒.
The match is underway and after Vince breaks Austin off foley he flips McMahon off for a MASSIVE pop from the audience. They continue to wrestle and it’s just getting going when the crowd chants “Vince is gay”, brilliant. Austin then takes foleys teeth out and stamps on them, complete disrespect. Austin takes a great looking bump on the steel steps as they both make their way to the outside of the ring as undertaker looks on. Just him being there improves the match even more. Austin takes another hard bump from an Irish whip to the corner and foley is in control during the early goings of this match. The crowd is thunderous right now having the JR and Lawler needing to shout to be heard.
Austin is thrown over the Spanish commentator table (this always makes me laugh as it’s ALWAYS them that people get thrown into) and it’s announced that this is a NO DQ match. Just brilliant stuff. Austin gets back in control though just demolishing foley by throwing him into the timekeepers area, over the barrier and he plays to the crowd in the middle of the audience, this was an amazing visual. It’s so impressive how Austin can have these matches even with his neck injury and knee troubles that he’s had. It’s then announced that falls count anywhere and there’s just less and less regulation as we go on, this could get really chaotic and I’m all here for it!
Austin is thrown on top of a car hood and foleys laying in some damage but Austin hot shots foley into another car. They’re making use of the creative set getting on top of one of the cars but foley throws Austin face first across another of the cars. Foley sunset flips off a car to a close 2 and a half kick out. This back and forth is f***ing brilliant.
Austin’s been busted open as foley assaults him with a metal pipe but Austin comes back with a flurry of right hands. But foley once again counters hitting him with two suplexes on the concrete floor but still Austin manages to kick out. Foley goes to drop an elbow from the top of a car but Austin rolls out of the way. McMahon slow counts but foley kicks out and Vince is intimidated by undertaker watching on closely. They make their way back to the ring and foley has exposed the turnbuckle after brisco trips Austin up and foley gets a chance to lay in some damage again. Foley hits Austin with a clean looking running knee and throws him into the exposed turnbuckle again, to which foley locks in a chin hold and we get a shot reminiscent of WM13 with hart and Austin. Patterson hands foley a chair and he hits Austin with a massive shot to the back, and a DDT on top of the chair but Austin continues to kick out.
The crowd is electric for this match as Austin counters with a kick to the face while foley holds a chair up, Austin then hits the chair on the ropes hitting himself in the face which was really funny. Foley hits McMahon with a chair, Austin hits a stunner, another ref comes down, brisco drags him out, undertaker drags brisco out, he hits him with a choke slam, he hits Patterson with a choke slam, Austin with another stunner and Austin uses McMahons arm to count himself and retain the title.
I couldn’t even keep up with the ending to that match that was pure insanity! It’s a car wreck in and out of the ring as the undertaker and Austin share a respectful look at each other and Austin celebrates in the ring after overcoming the odds. The crowd absolutely loved that match and so did I. By far match of the night, BY FAR. They absolutely knocked it out of the park, pure entertainment from bell to bell including before the match even started with Patterson and brisco. This also sets up some other potential matches in the wwf off this main event as I’m assuming dude love won’t get another chance at the title. A fantastic main event that exceeded expectations for me.
Overall this event is not worth watching at all, except for the main event. The main event seriously saved this ppv from being a complete failure, the crowd were bored and disinterested and even booed and chanted boring during the semi main event. Skip absolutely everything and just watch the main event because it was really good. This should be a message to the wwf that the mid card is really lacking any proper star power and I’m assuming at some point this year they will bolster their roster to improve this.
Irrespective of the main event I can’t give this ppv over 2 as the mid card was so unbelievably weak.
Overall rating 2/5

~PART 1~

An urban legend took my daughter’s life, and I would’ve done anything to save her.
Cock the Hammer. Have you ever heard of it? Not the Cypress Hill hip-hop song but the game. I’ll be honest, I hadn’t. Not until all of this happened.

Looking around at all the people in my house, I had wanted them to take their sympathy and leave me the fuck alone. A funeral for Nina shouldn’t be any kind of comfort for me. My daughter was dead, and I felt responsible.

Max found his sister. I should’ve been the one, but I was too busy and distracted. I should’ve done better. Nina had always thought I could. She believed in me more than I believed in myself, and that’s not the way a father-daughter relationship is supposed to work.

When I saw Chief Schnabel slip in my front door, I was furious. I didn’t want this guy in my house or anywhere near me. Schnabel was the one who told me the gunshot that killed my daughter was consistent with suicide. But they never found a gun. I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but suicide victims don’t dispose of their weapons. But this minor fact didn’t stop Schnabel from shutting down his investigation three hours after Nina was found.

I was about to make a rage-filled beeline for the Chief when I spotted Willow, Nina’s best friend since pre-school. I hadn’t talked to her since Nina died, and I needed to. Maybe she had answers.

Willow was emotional, but that didn’t stop me from bombarding her with lawyer-like questions, making her cry. I felt bad, but before I could apologize, the rest of Nina’s friends swooped in. There was Zach, Haley, Chase and Hugo. I’ve known these four for years and think they’re all decent kids, apart from Zach and his frat-boy smugness. I couldn’t tell if they were trying to protect Willow or hiding something, but I was determined to find out. But they kept giving me the runaround, especially smartass Zach.

I suddenly had the urge to punch Zach in the face, but my sister rescued me, dragging me into the kitchen. Lauren and her wife, Kim, reminded me that I was at my daughter’s funeral reception and that I probably shouldn’t be getting into a fight with her friends or making them cry. Lauren said I should be focused on Max. This riled me up, but I knew she was right.

The reception was finally winding down, and I had stayed hidden in the kitchen for the last hour, trying to talk to Max. He was playing his Game Boy and refusing to look at me, his fingers tapping away a million miles an hour.

Max is the sweetest kid – when he’s not having one of his epic meltdowns. His mother was good at consoling him, but she died last year of ovarian cancer. Nina had gracefully stepped in as the family Max-whisperer in my wife’s absence, the best big sister a kid with emotional issues could wish for. But now it was just me and Max.

“I promise I’ll do better, buddy,” I told him for the umpteenth time. “We’re all we have now, and I promise I’ll do better.”

Max didn’t respond, but I knew he’d heard me because his fingers stopped moving.

Willow suddenly appeared at the door. I was glad to see her, and I apologized for before.

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice still shaky. “I know you’re upset.”

I nodded and kind of smiled, sharing something with her. We were both upset. We were both devastated.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” Willow finally said after a long silence.

“I really am sorry, Willow. I was out of line. I know you were a wonderful friend to Nina. She was lucky to have you.”

Willow started to cry again. It was a little awkward, but I hugged her. I knew I wasn’t hugging my daughter, but I felt Nina close.

“Max, can I talk to your dad in private for a moment?”

Max dropped off his stool and walked out, never looking up from his Game Boy.

Willow wanted to tell me something important, so I let her take her time. I didn’t want to spook her.

“I was there when it happened,” she finally said.

I wasn’t sure what she meant.

“I was with Nina when she did it.”

“You were with Nina when she died?” I asked, needing this to be as clear as possible in my head.

Willow couldn’t speak before, but once she started, she was desperate to get it all out. She told me they got a hold of the gun and played the game at Zach’s house. She told me Nina didn’t want to play at first, but then the gun followed her home and seduced her, and when she did play, she experienced a suicide and the gun forced her to do what she did, even though Willow knows that’s the last thing Nina wanted to do.

I was trying to make sense of what she was saying.

Willow keeps talking, forcing the rest out. She told me she got rid of the gun. She told me that after a suicide, you have to protect the legend, or the gun will come after you and everyone you love. So that’s what she did. She drove out to Walton Park, dug a hole, and buried it.

She finally took a breath. I could tell she felt a sense of relief, but at the same time, she looked as if she might break into a million pieces.

“I’m really sorry, Mr. H.”

“I’m trying to understand what you’re saying, Willow,” I said as gently as I could. “I need to understand. This gun – whose was it?”

“It doesn’t belong to anyone.”

“And you say you played a game. What do you mean… what game?”

Before Willow could answer, her mother swept in, offered her condolences again, and whisked her daughter out. I would’ve stopped them if I had been thinking straight.

I found my sister cleaning up the buffet table. Lauren knew something was up by the look on my face. I asked her if she knew of some urban legend about a gun and a game.

“Cock the Hammer,” Lauren said without even thinking about it. “That story was big when we were kids. Why?”

“I don’t remember that.”

“That’s because you were too obsessed with basketball and Suzanne Boysen.”

“So, it’s not real?”

“What? Some haunted gun? No, of course not. Why are you asking about this?”

I brushed the question off. I didn’t want to try to explain what Willow had told me. I just wanted to think for a moment. I just needed time to think.

I jumped on the internet as soon as my house was my own again. It was true – there’s an urban legend called Cock the Hammer that’s been around for decades. I still couldn’t believe I’d never heard of it. It involves this ornate Lefaucheux revolver from the Civil War. Supposedly when you cock the gun’s hammer it shows you a random killing that’s been committed with the gun. You time travel to the place and time of a killing and get to inhabit the body of the person pulling the trigger. But there’s a Russian Roulette catch to the game. While most people experience the killing of another person, in some cases, the person used the gun to commit suicide. If a player relives one of these scenes, they’re forced by the evil possession of the gun to use it on themselves. The gun takes control, and it insists on being discharged – into a player’s head or mouth or whichever way the person committed suicide – to end the session. Or at least that’s how the legend goes.

My first thought was that’s some crazy, stupid shit. But the more I kept reading, the angrier it made me. This crazy, stupid shit was dangerous as hell.

How did Nina fall for it? I couldn’t understand that. She was such a smart kid. How could she have believed in such nonsense? That some fantasy gun had magical powers.

I wanted answers. But then again, maybe I didn’t deserve answers. I should’ve been protecting my daughter, but instead, this game and this so-called haunted gun had seduced her. It was a hard truth for me to swallow.

I couldn’t sleep that night. The gun haunted me. Not that I believed any of it; I didn’t. But I worried another Nina would. Willow said she had buried the gun, but that wasn’t good enough for me. I needed to unearth it and destroy it.

I picked Willow up first thing in the morning, and we drove out to Walton Park. I knew what I was asking her to do made her nervous. She didn’t want to be anywhere near the gun again. But I think she could tell I was desperate. It wouldn’t bring Nina back, but maybe it would save me just a little.

The hike into the woods was farther than I anticipated, but Willow said she wanted to get the gun as far away from anything and everyone as she could. She remembered exactly where she buried it. She hadn’t wanted to get lost hiking out, so she picked Squaw Rock, a place she used to visit with her dad before he remarried and started a new family.

We finally reached the area and the mound of dirt Willow buried the gun under. I had brought a small shovel and immediately started digging, tossing off dirt. I keep digging. I was surprised at how deep Willow buried it. Finally, I hit something solid. But it wasn’t the gun. It was a thick root from a nearby tree. I couldn’t dig any deeper.

“Are you sure this is the right spot?” I asked.

Willow was positive. She was suddenly on her knees. She put her hands into the hole, and they knocked hard against the root.

“Where is it?” She started searching through the loose dirt. She kept clawing at things with her hands, hoping the gun was somehow hidden in the tiny clumps. “Where is it?!” Her nerves had turned to panic.

I put a hand on her shoulder. “Somebody probably just found it.”

“No. I buried it here so no one could find it. But I shouldn’t have done that. I made it angry.”

I helped her to her feet. “Someone came along and dug it up, that’s all,” I said in my most self-assured voice.

Willow shook her head and kept shaking.

“It’s going to be okay,” I told her.

“It’s evil, Mr. H.”

“It’s a gun, Willow. It’s only evil if we make it evil.”

Willow told me I didn’t understand. She told me she would give anything to make me understand before it was too late.

All I wanted was to talk to Nina’s friends, and I asked Willow to text them. They felt ambushed when my car pulled into the 7-11 parking lot an hour later. Willow wanted to tell them she had buried the gun, but it was gone. I wanted to know if any of them had it, convinced that one of them did.

Even though I now knew they were all playing the game the night Nina died, her friends were still reluctant to talk. But Willow vouched for me, and they all softened. None of them had the gun. None of them wanted the gun after what happened to Nina.

“You can’t bury it,” Hugo said.

“You can’t destroy it, either,” Chase added.

Now that I was hearing the same story from all of them – seeing the same ardent belief in something so preposterous – I wanted more than ever to get my hands on this gun. Everything can be destroyed, even something evil.

I questioned Zach on where he got the gun in the first place, and he said he just found it. He was walking home from school, cutting through Abbot’s field, when the gun was just there in his path like it had been waiting for him.

“It probably sensed his fear,” Chase tells me.

Zach shoves Chase. “Bullshit, what fear?”

“Fine, dude, then it sensed your anger or stupidity or whatever.”

Zach came at Chase again, and the two boys scuffled, and I had to step in and break them up.

Zach stormed off in a huff, and Chase disappeared into the 7-Eleven. Hugo tried to escape with Haley, but she pulled her hand away. She wanted Hugo to tell me about his Uncle Ray. Hugo was pissed she was bringing this up when he asked her not to. The two argued for a moment, but then Hugo came clean. His Uncle Ray played the game a few years ago.

I pressed Hugo for details, but he said all he wanted to say, so Haley spoke for him. She told me that Uncle Ray played the game and experienced a suicide, but the person in the past trying to kill themselves screwed things up. “I mean, it was an attempted suicide, I guess,” Haley said. “They put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger, but they didn’t die. The bullet just got lodged in their brain. And that’s what happened to Uncle Ray. That’s how the game works.”

“He’s a vegetable,” Hugo offered. “Or at least that’s what my dad thinks. But my Aunt Kathy still visits him every day. She talks to him and swears he talks back – or at least on some telepathic level or something.”

“Where’s he living?” I asked.

“If you can call that living,” Hugo said with a pained chuckle.

“The place is called Cedarwood Manor,” Haley offered. “It’s out by the interstate.”

I wanted to take Willow home – she had helped me enough – but she insisted on coming along to Cedarwood Manor. I think being with me made her feel connected to Nina, and that’s something I understood. The feeling was mutual.

The front desk receptionist sent us in the right direction. We stepped into Uncle Ray’s room, pulled in by the droning beep of the machines. The blinds were drawn. To be honest, the guy looked dead more than anything. I guess he hadn’t been out of bed, or rather some bed, since this all happened – since he supposedly played the game and put a bullet in his head whether he wanted to or not, so his body had deflated like a balloon.

It wasn’t until Willow and I stood closer to the bed that we realized Uncle Ray’s eyes were open. His blank stare was eerie-looking. It was also focused squarely on Willow.

I wasn’t there for small talk, so I started asking the man questions about the gun and the game. I was pretty sure Uncle Ray could hear me because his eyes kept glancing over at me at various points, clearly triggered by what I was asking. But for the most part, his focus stayed drilled on Willow.

I wanted to know if it was true that he played some game called Cock the Hammer. I wanted to know how I could find the gun. I wanted to understand what he was so afraid of.

This last question surprised me. I wasn’t planning on asking it. I wouldn’t have imagined why I would. But the look of terror on Uncle Ray’s face made me realize it was the most important question of all.

Willow still hadn’t looked away. I think she was waiting for Uncle Ray to blink. I was waiting for the same thing. The man hadn’t, I swear, since we walked in.

Blink.

Willow’s arm was suddenly snatched by Uncle Ray’s hand. It came out of nowhere, his bony fingers clamping down hard around her flesh. Willow freaked. She tried frantically to squirm free, but his hand stayed clutched around her wrist, draining the blood from her hand. She wanted to run, and she tried to, yanking the wisp of the guy out of bed. The two of them were on the floor before I could even react. I jumped in and tried to pry Uncle Ray’s fingers open, but it was like rigor mortis had set in.

The commotion brought a crowd into the room like a code blue. The massive descent of bodies somehow freed Willow from what I’m sure felt like the grip of death. She scurried across the room on all fours. I moved with her, wanting to comfort her, but she jumped at my touch.

Willow was still shaking when I drove her home. She wouldn’t talk at first, but then she started mumbling something under her breath. I told her I really wanted to hear what she was saying, but she would have to speak up. She took a breath and started over. She told me that when Uncle Ray grabbed her arm, there was a bright flash of light in the room, and Uncle Ray was suddenly sitting at the edge of the bed, the Lefaucheux revolver from the game pointed at his head. He was trying to tell her something. She was terrified, but she stopped fighting him, transfixed, and just watched as the words slowly formed on his lips. I... dare... you.

“I dare you,” I repeated. “I dare you to what?”

“Play the game, I think,” Willow said.

It was suddenly clear to me that she had hit her head when she fell, and what she experienced was some sort of delusion. I told her that, hoping it would reassure her, but she insisted that what she was telling me had really happened.

“Why would he want you to play the game?” I asked, gently trying to discredit the story.

“He doesn’t,” she answered. “The gun does.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I stayed quiet.

A few minutes later, I rolled to the curb in front of Willow’s house. The place was dark, except for a garish fluorescent light in the kitchen. Willow just stared up at it.

“It’s my fault,” she finally said. “I should’ve stopped Nina from playing.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I quickly answered. “It was my responsibility to be there for her. And I wasn’t.”

Willow took a few deep breaths, still trying to calm her nerves, then started chewing on the ends of her hair.

“I want you to take care, Willow. Okay?”

I think this made her feel better... that someone cared enough to be concerned.

“I want you to be careful, Mr. H. Okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m going to find the gun. I’m going to destroy it, I promise.”

Willow didn’t say anything for a long moment. Finally, she told me she wanted to believe me. She said she was going to try really hard to believe me. She said she genuinely thought that if anyone could do what I just said I would, it would be me. And then she said she’d pray for me.

I thanked her. She smiled, which was a little forced but nice to see, and then she climbed out of my car.

I didn’t know then that I would need Willow’s prayers – and every bit of help I could get – to survive what was about to happen next.

This chapter was too long to post as one, so I’m dividing into two parts. Apologies for it being a bit disjointed.
On Thursday morning, after Luke left early for work and Brooke went for a run, I removed from Brooke’s closet the the gossamer jacket I had worn to the Ren fair and put it into the trunk of my Prius along with the canvas shoes and white tights that had completed my humiliating “Little Foot Page” costume. I dared not disappoint Anna a second time.
Fortunately, I didn’t have any punishment writing lines to complete after I cleaned her and Paul’s apartment on Tuesday. Brooke didn’t force me to wear any new feminine accessory that day. She was so fond of the choker that it had become an almost regular part of my daily attire.
As she kissed me goodbye that morning before I left for campus, she fingered the choker and my neck, saying, “I like this on you. Maybe I’ll order another one with a subtle little ring on it.”
I often couldn’t tell when Brooke was joking or not.
“You mean something where someone could attach a leash? Like a slave collar? Please, Brooke. This is bad enough.”
“No, it wouldn’t have to stick out like that. I said ‘subtle,’ didn’t I? The ring could be flat against your neck. That style is very common. It’s sexy. But I do think we can get you a proper collar to wear at home. I’m thinking leather with silver studs and a nice ring in the front. That one will definitely stick out. Luke and I will look for something on-line.”
Again, was she joking or not? She gave me her full, dimpled smile as she spoke, but that didn’t tell me conclusively one way or another. Nevertheless, her smile, her touch and the nature of the conversation all conspired to cause my liberated cock to grow hard in the lace panties I was wearing under my khakis. I was hoping she wouldn’t notice, so she wouldn’t lock me back up; several hours later, I was wishing that she had noticed.
Except for regular cleanings, and one or two supervised, humiliating releases, I had been locked up pretty consistently over the previous 2 1/2 months. Therefore, I truly enjoyed my freedom most of that Thursday. I had an almost incessant erection, fortunately mostly concealed by my khakis (which were looser than most of the pants I was permitted to wear), even while waiting in line to get Neil’s coffee and while walking across campus in a light snow to bring it to his office. The phrase “microaggressions” had become trendy on college campuses such as mine, referring to insensitive comments people make that are discriminatory or insulting, often even without intending to be. As I knocked on the door to Neil’s office, I thought to myself how I was being subjected not to microaggesions at my college, but rather to microhumiliations. Such as fetching Neil’s coffee.
“Come in,” said Neil, through the door.
Remarkably, seated in the one chair across from Neil’s desk was Paul Betz. Yet again! Alarming and suspicious. Or was I simply being paranoid? Neither of them made any effort to get up from their seats.
I was holding the cup of coffee in a paper bag. Feeling like an idiot, I placed the bag on Neil’s desk.
“Thanks for the coffee, pal,” Neil said, as he removed the cup from the bag. “It’s a bit cold.”
“Sorry, it’s snowing out there,” I replied, absurdly, as if it was even remotely somehow my fault that his coffee wasn’t hot.
“No worries. I’ll warm it up in my microwave. Paul and I were just discussing some swimming techniques. Paul’s team has a big meet this weekend. Is it okay if I catch up with you later?”
Paul looked up at me with an arrogant smirk. I thought to myself: how much strategy could there possibly be to discuss? You jump in the pool and you swim.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
And just like that, I was dismissed. The coffee boy had delivered the coffee and was no longer needed. Why should I care about suffering this microhumiliation in front of Paul, who a few hours later would be subjecting me to any number of macro humiliations? Simply because he was gaining even greater knowledge about me, the nature of my relationships with others in my social circle and the breadth of my submission. Knowledge is power. More knowledge about me, more power over me. Nothing good could possibly come of it.
Paul was his usual arrogant self in class that afternoon, and it was clear that he, Anna and Kelly were all in exaggeratedly good moods, no doubt savoring the thought of interacting with me under radically different circumstances only a few hours later.
Anna was wearing black tights, a short, plaid skirt and black ankle boots. She propped her feet up on the desk in front of her next to Paul’s and said, “Oh, look how dirty my boots are from all the puddles of slush.”
Paul added, “Mine too. Fortunately, our shoeshine boy will be visiting later.”
Kelly sitting two seats to their left, giggled and said, “The cold weather makes me ravenous. What’s for dinner tonight, Anna?”
Anna grinned and answered, “Beef stroganoff. Our shoeshine boy is also an excellent cook, supposedly. A real Renaissance boy.”
“Not a Medieval boy?”, said Kelly. She and Anna both laughed.
Scanning the room, I didn’t believe the other students were picking up on all of the innuendo (or, if they were, I didn’t think they understood what it meant). Nevertheless, one serious female student, not part of Kelly’s clique, looked at me as if to say, “Why are you letting these clowns do and say whatever they want? Why don’t you take control of your classroom?” How I longed to do just that, to put the three of them in their place with some witty remark, as I would have done in the past. The pain of Paul’s spanking on Tuesday still fresh in my mind (if not on my bottom), however, I bit my tongue and timidly began my lecture.
After class, I went to the grocery store to purchase all of the ingredients for Anna’s prescribed menu of beef stroganoff, Italian green beans, and a starter spinach salad with warm bacon dressing (she had even directed me to her preferred recipes on-line — I had tested the salad and dressing on Brooke, with positive reviews). I also purchased the two bottles of not inexpensive red wine specified by Paul.
When I arrived at their condo, holding multiple grocery bags, my nemesis doorman was lying in wait for me, like a snarky Cerberus dressed as a bellhop. My underworld was eleven flights up, however.
“I’m going to apartment 11B. Paul Betz.”
“I have to announce you. Who should I say is calling?”
“The cook. Please tell him the cook is here.”
He spoke into the intercom phone, smirking at me, “Mr. Betz. Someone calling himself the cook is here to visit you. Although I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy who announced himself as the maid on Tuesday. May I send him up?”
Still holding the phone, he then addressed me: “Mr. Betz said they are expecting the maid, not the cook. What should I tell him?”
I sighed. “Please tell him the maid is here.”
“Mr. Betz. He is now no longer pretending to be a cook, but has announced himself as the maid. Very good, sir, I’ll send him right up then.” He put down the phone, his expression more smug by the second, and said, “You may now go up. The elevator…”
I interrupted him. “I know perfectly well where the elevator is, thank you.”
He stopped smirking to glare at me with annoyance for a moment, before resuming his smirk as I entered the elevator with my shopping bags.
When I got to their door, I got down on my knees and waited. Behind the door, I heard talking and sporadic laughter. They only kept me waiting about five minutes that day, and fortunately I was spared any encounters with Paul’s and Anna’s neighbors. It was during those five minutes on my knees, staring down at my cock pushing out my khakis, that I came to the belated realization that it probably wasn’t a good thing to be free of my chastity cage in the circumstances in which I then found myself. As I continued to wait, a sense of panic began to set in, which paradoxically only increased my arousal.
When the door finally opened, I was greeted by Kelly. I was eye level with her short, blue skirt. I looked down at her sheer stocking-encased legs and black, strap-on heels before looking up at her grinning face. She had been wearing jeans in class, but had obviously dressed up for the exciting occasion of being served dinner by her submissive professor. I have not really described Kelly’s appearance much before now, other than to say that she is attractive. Kelly has shoulder length, thick, brown hair and sort of a button nose. She is slender, but not as tall as Anna or Brooke. I would describe her more as cute than truly beautiful like the other two. However, by “cute,“ I don’t want to suggest that Kelly isn’t sexy. She is, but more in a teasing, playful way than the regal Anna. Sometimes it’s those cute, playful ones that you really have to watch out for, I was to learn.
Generally speaking, it occurred to me that, on the cusp of turning 40, I was surrounded by – and subservient to – a number of meaningfully younger people, most of whom were well above average in the looks department. There are a lot of overweight Americans – more in Ohio than in the Northeast, I thought (I’m sure Neil would have said that observation was still further evidence of my elitism) – including a lot of overweight students on my campus. For whatever reason, however, I was this bookish, unathletic guy now surrounded by athletes (Luke, Paul, Anna, Kevin, and even my one contemporary in terms of age, Neil), or fitness freaks (Brooke) or the generally attractive people who they chose to associate with (like Kelly, Laura, and Brooke’s estranged friend, Michelle). Growing up, my social circle tended to consist of the less attractive – the geeks, the nerds, the social outcasts. So, being surrounded by the cool, beautiful people was new for me, and exciting. So much toned, taut young flesh. Of course, I was not, nor am not now, their equal. Not even close. I’m their servant, their lackey, their toy. But that’s part of what makes the dynamic so exciting, so arousing. For me, certainly. But also for most of them, I believe (Brooke excepted; I am confident that there is a lot more depth to our relationship with each other, than to our relationships with all the others).
As I looked up at Kelly, these thoughts running through my head, I consoled myself that at least I wasn’t being subjugated, teased and tormented by physically repulsive people. Remembering Brooke’s advice to go with the flow, I tried to tell myself to be grateful for small favors.
“Hi, Professor Rollins!“, said Kelly, brightly.
“Hi, Kelly,” I sheepishly replied.
“Oh, come now, professor. We’re not in class now. I think the proper way to address me here is Miss Kelly, don’t you agree?”
“Yes, Miss Kelly, of course.”
“You may enter,” she said. Seeing Paul behind her, I remembered to shuffle on my knees into the apartment, bags in either hand.
Paul said, ”What time do you need to be home tonight, Rollins? Where are Luke and Brooke?”
“Thursday night they almost always go out, sir. If you recall, that’s why we picked Thursday evenings for me to…to come here. Luke is taking Brooke out to dinner tonight at a restaurant near his house. The earliest they’ll be home, I think, is around 10:30, unless they decide to spend the night at Luke’s. I’d like to be home by 10, just to be on the safe side, sir, if possible,” I replied.
Kelly said to Paul, “I like the ‘sirs.’ I see that you’ve been training him well.“
“You may leave at 10. That means we have you for 5 hours. Put the food away and then get dressed,” ordered Paul. Anna and Kelly’s boyfriend, Archer, were sitting on the couch in the living room.
“Wait a minute,” said Anna. “Did you bring your Ren fair costume this time?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
“‘Princess?’ I really like that. Call me ‘Princess,’ too,” Kelly said to me, giggling.
“Yes, Princess Kelly,” I replied.
Smiling with delight, Kelly asked Archer, “Do you wish him to address you as Prince Archer?”
Archer, who I later learned was Paul’s teammate on the college swimming team, said, “No, he can just call me ‘sir’.”
“You’re no fun,” said Kelly.
“Put on your Little Foot Page costume, professor,” said Anna.
“Hold on,” said Paul. “If he’s serving us dinner, shouldn’t he be dressed as a waitress? Or as a maid? What about the pink uniform Chrissy wears? That’s sort of a waitress maid hybrid,” Paul explained to Archer.
“Or what about the Hooters uniform?”, asked Archer.
“But the Little Foot Page uniform is so cute!”, said Kelly.
Anna said, “Well, everybody seems to have an opinion. The only way to settle this democratically is through a vote. Let’s all write down our top choice on a scrap of paper and toss it into my baseball cap. There are three options and four votes, so there will be a clear winner.”
“I think he should model each uniform first, so we can make an informed decision,” said Archer.
“Great idea, Archer! Who doesn’t love a little, impromptu fashion show? Kelly, please tear up four pieces of paper and get a pen while I show our dear professor where we keep Chrissy’s uniforms,” said Anna.
I listened to this rather extraordinary conversation while still kneeling in the entrance hall. I had managed to will my erection down, at least partially, so had escaped detection for the moment. Obviously, this was only a temporary victory, however.
After being permitted to stand, I first put away the food and then followed Anna upstairs into the dungeon. She opened a closet and pulled out two plastic bags that she draped over the spanking bench.
“Here are the other two uniforms you will model for us. I want you to start with the waitress uniform. Make sure you wear the black stockings and the heels with the dress. And the cap. There are hairpins in the bag you can use to make sure that it doesn’t fall off your head. Once you’re dressed, we’ll be waiting for you in the living room. I expect you to walk the length of the living room, stand before us, curtsy, do a slow 360, face us again and curtsy a second time. Then walk back up here, put on the Hooter’s uniform, and repeat the same steps. Remember to put on the flesh colored pantyhose; they’re what really make the Hooters uniform, don’t you think?”
I had never darkened the doors of a Hooters before, but nodded my ascent.
“Well, the pantyhose along with the white socks and sneakers. You didn’t bring those, did you?”
“No, princess. Besides the shoes I’m wearing, I only brought the canvas shoes I wore to the Ren fair. As you commanded, princess.”
“All the more reason the Hooters uniform just won’t cut it tonight. But we have to humor Archer, don’t we? So, wear your canvas shoes with it. You’ll look preposterous, but that’s the point, I suppose. Right?”
“Yes, princess.”
“You’ll finish with your Little Foot Page uniform. The same steps. That’s my top choice, so make sure that you really sell that one. I’ll be watching closely. If you fail to do any of the steps I just told you, or don’t do any of them satisfactorily, I’ll ask Paul and/or Archer to take you over their knees and spank you, hard, 10 times for each mistake. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
She left me in the dungeon to change. Paul’s description of the first uniform was accurate. Imagine a pink maid’s uniform, with a V-neck, black collar, black buttons and a black apron. It came with a matching cap, pink with black trim. After putting on the dress, I rolled the sheer, black stockings up my legs and smoothed out the skirt, my fully erect cock still concealed for the time being beneath it. The short skirt only came down to my mid thigh. I then put on the heels and the cap, fumbling with the hairpins, and regarded myself in the mirror. I was dressed like a fetishized waitress in a retro diner. Could I look any more ridiculous? As I practiced curtsying a few times in front of the mirror, I answered my own rhetorical question.
Worried about keeping my students and Archer waiting, I descended the stairs and followed Anna’s instructions, listening to the strange sound of my heels clicking on the hardwood floor of the living room.
As I curtsied before the four of them relaxing on the couch, Kelly giggled with glee and Paul said, “Now that’s an appropriate uniform for dinner service.”
“It is, yes, but we see Chrissy in it all the time. A little variety is nice,” Anna replied.
As I went through my steps, I watched Anna hold the same little book they had used to record my shortcomings in cleaning – my demerits as they called them – and make notes in it with a pen. That couldn’t be a good thing, I thought to myself, although I was quite certain that I was following her instructions to a T.
After I did my 360° turn, I did a brief second curtsy, as Anna had ordered, but she stopped me as I was turning around to go back upstairs.
“Wait, professor maid. Curtsy to us again, but this time make it a deep curtsy. I want to make sure that you’ve been practicing.“
I did as she commanded, bending my legs, one behind the other, lifting my skirt with my hands and holding the dipped, bowed position for a few seconds before straightening back up.
“What do you think?”, Anna asked Kelly.
“Not too bad for a relative novice, I suppose, although his technique could definitely use some work,” said Kelly.
“Do you hear that, professor maid? You need to spend a lot more time practicing your curtsying. Also, you’re walking in the heels better than on Tuesday, but you’re still pretty unsteady. We expect our servants to be graceful,” said Anna, imperiously, as she made additional notations in her little notebook. “You need to practice walking in heels somewhere besides your time here with us. We do not tolerate on-the-job training here. Got it?”
“Yes, Princess Anna. I understand.”
“Good. Move along now. We need to decide on your uniform so you can start serving us cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.”
I hurried back upstairs as quickly and gracefully as was within my power and changed into the Hooters uniform. I put on the nude pantyhose first, my cock distressingly hard beneath the transparent nylon. So much for further concealing my liberation from chastity! Freedom can be a dangerous thing, I was to soon learn. I next put on the U-shaped, white T-shirt with the big orange letters, the two ‘Os’ doubling as eyes for the owl. The shirt was tight against even my flat chest; I could only imagine what it must’ve felt like to the well endowed women for whom the shirt was designed. Next, I pulled up the skimpy, bright orange shorts, hoping like hell that they might hide my erection. They did quite the opposite, in fact. Made of some synthetic fabric, they were incredibly snug and almost looked like a bikini the way they rode up the side of my legs next to my crotch. The shorts hugged my small balls, the outline of which was readily apparent through the fabric, my cock making a small, but unmistakable protrusion above them. As humiliating as the waitress uniform was, this was worse, I felt. I groaned as I observed myself in the mirror. I then put on my canvas shoes and descended the stairs to begin another degrading catwalk.
Archer laughed and clapped. “Thats fucking hilarious. Look at the loser!”
“Ha ha, look our professor has a little stiffie,” said Kelly, pointing at my crotch and snickering.
Anna said, “Oh, my God. Paul. She’s right. Look! They must’ve taken off his chastity cage.”
Paul said, “Well, this opens up all kinds of new possibilities, doesn’t it?”
“It most certainly does!”, agreed Anna.
This conversation, so intensely humiliating, resulted in my already hard cock twitching beneath the tight orange shorts, growing harder still.
Kelly said, “But he doesn’t have any boobs. What kind of Hooters waitress is that? At least Chrissy is growing boobs, thanks to the hormones.”
As I was curtsying, Paul asked, “What happened to Chrissy’s breast forms?”
Anna answered, “We let her throw them out after she started growing her own tits.“
“Too bad,” Archer replied.
Anna added, “And the whole outfit just doesn’t work without the white tennis shoes and socks. Also, our Hooters girl forgot to do her second curtsy.” As I turned back around to comply, Anna added, “No, no professor pantywaist, it’s too late now. That’s another demerit, I’m afraid. Now hurry along and model your last outfit for us.”
I scampered up the stairs and quickly changed into my Little Foot Page costume from the Ren fair, the one inspired by the Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale’s painting, a favorite of Brooke’s. How I wished at that moment that it was her I was dressing for instead! The short, nearly transparent jacket barely concealed my cock, jutting out shamefully through my white tights.
Remembering Anna’s insistence that I really “sell” this outfit, I took special care to complete each step to the best of my abilities. I held my back straight and practically pranced into the room and across the living room floor. I held my curtsy longer than usual, somewhere between the duration of a regular curtsy and a deep curtsy.
Both of the girls applauded, gleefully.
“See. The foot page costume is adorable. And it’s unique,” said Kelly.
“But pages don’t serve dinner. Pages do all kinds of other things for their masters, like clean their clothes and shoes, help them get dressed, deliver messages, and so forth,” said Paul.
“Oh you’re such a stickler for authenticity. I’m sure plenty of pages served their masters and mistresses meals as well. They were utility servants, and I’m sure did whatever was required of them,“ said Anna. “Besides, with this uniform, we have the best view of his hard, little cock. Look, it’s fun size!“, she added, pointing.
“With equipment like that, it’s no wonder that his wife cuckolded him,” chuckled Archer.
“From the look of him and his attitude, I’ll bet Luke is hung like a horse. Is that true, professor baby cock?”, asked Anna.
“Yes, Princess Anna,” I answered meekly.
“Look how red his face is!,” said Kelly. “We’re not embarrassing you, are we, professor?”
“Yes…I mean no, Miss…I mean Princess Kelly.”
“Okay, it’s time to vote,” said Anna.
“Why bother. We all know which one will win. Archer will vote for Hooters, I will vote for sissy waitress, and you and Kelly will vote for this silly page costume, inappropriate as it may be,” said Paul, sulkily. “So, the foot page it is.”
“Oh, goody!”, said Kelly, clapping her hands together with delight.
“Time for cocktails! Take everyone’s order,” Paul said to me sternly, seemingly still annoyed that he didn’t get his way.
Paul and Anna had a well equipped bar, so making the drinks was relatively easy. Anna insisted that I curtsy after serving each person. I, of course, would’ve felt ridiculous curtsying under any circumstances, but felt particularly so dressed in my page costume. Paul had a point; there was something incongruous about it. After serving them, I began prepping for dinner in what was truly a chef’s kitchen. The meat needed to simmer for a while to be sufficiently tender.
Anna had shown me a little brass bell that they would use to summon me for drink refills or anything else they desired. I heard it jingling about 20 minutes into my prep work and hurried back into the living room.
Paul said, “Archer and I are ready for refills.”
“Yes, sir.”
“From now on, curtsy every time you enter or leave a room any of us are in, and every time any of us gives you an order,” Anna interjected.
“Yes, princess,” I said, curtsying as I took their glasses.
By the time I returned a few minutes later with Paul’s and Archer’s fresh old fashioneds, curtsying again, Anna was also ready to for new martini. Of course, by the time I returned with her martini, Kelly was finally ready for her second cosmopolitan. Would this ever end?, I wondered. How would I ever have time to prepare the rest of dinner?
Fortunately, rather than request a third old-fashioned Paul said to the others, “Let’s go for a swim.” I was back in the kitchen working when the four of them left the apartment to take the elevator down to the building’s large indoor pool. Things got more interesting about an hour later when my young superiors returned to the apartment in their bathing suits.

The house has been at the end of Thompson Road as long as anyone could remember yet there’s no one still alive who remembers anyone ever living in it. It was a remnant of an era, when the Victorian style architecture was still prevalent, yet it had been left in disrepair. Windows boarded over, paint fallen off, shingles missing here and there. Most people in the town declared there was something not quite right with the old building. Some rumors stated that of the few people who tried to move in left promptly afterwards seeking other residence.
I remember when I was a young boy there was an older gentleman who would care to the grounds, cutting the grass and making small mending’s to the surrounding fence. He was a kindly old man who wore a corduroy jacket and a flat cap. He almost had the appearance of a man from a different time and place. Most children avoided walking by Thompson road on their way home from school, yet the old house had a curious draw to me back then and I often liked to stare at it in the dying light of the autumn days. It was in these days I became acquainted with the old caretaker who told me his name happened to be, Mr. Thompson, just like the road.
Most of the town children had seen Mr. Thompson tending to the old house and naturally as is the past time of children, created stories and rumors about him. Many said he lived in the house waiting to trap any poor soul foolish to wander on the property by locking them in the cellar. Others said he was an escaped prisoner using the old place as a hideaway from the police. I didn’t believe the rumors going around about him for a second but the house drew my curiosity nonetheless.
My acquaintance with Mr. Thompson began with my troublesome self, committing the act of trespassing. My act of mischief had been inspired by one of the playground stories I had heard earlier that day from one of my classmates. He said that he had skulked about the property peering into cracks along the boarded-up windows. He told me and several other kids how it looked as if someone was still living there, and the peculiar fact that no pictures hung in the place save for one wall in the living room. Given I had taken an interest to the old place, I naturally decided that day to see for myself.
I climbed the fence that afternoon in October and had skulked ever so closely to the first window I saw. As I peered inside, I was shocked to notice that the interior looked very much like someone had been in fact living there. Furniture and décor, the Victorian style still so present, was set like the previous residents had just left and would return any minute. I decided that the room I was peering in to be the living room due to the fact when I looked across to the far edge, I found the wall mentioned on the playground. It was filled top to bottom with what appeared to be every picture in the house, the wall behind barely visible due to the number of picture frames. From where I was standing, I could not make out what was in any of the pictures.
It was at this time I was discovered upon by Mr. Thompson. No doubt he took me for some trouble making youth looking for a place to plant graffiti. Yet when I answered his initial question to what I was doing there, he began to soften realizing I was merely a curious wanderer exploring what appeared to be the forbidden. This begun my friendship with the old gentleman who I could tell was not a criminal or madman seeking to lock people in his cellar. He let me go and promised not to tell anyone I was trespassing on private property, if I promised him to continue to visit and talk to him as he worked. We struck a deal and I made it a purpose to continue my visiting’s to the old house after school to talk with Mr. Thompson.
I never saw anyone else spend much time around the place other than him and asked him if he lived in or in fact owned the old Victorian house, which I never saw him enter or come out of. He told me no and laughed dryly. His family he said had always taken care of the old place as long as he could remember. He told me stories of people trying to enter seeking something they could not find and of seeing strange things within the house though, things he would not or could not describe to me. He told me on one night of the year weird things would happen within the old building, things not natural was how he put it. I tried to pry out of him what exactly he meant. “I have to show you,” he said, “It cannot be described.” He told me in exactly one week he would find me and show me exactly what possessed the old house.
Exactly one week to the day was November 1^st. I was shocked that a day where the unexplained could happen would be a day after Halloween. Nevertheless, Mr. Thompson found my house, how I am still unsure and awoke me with a soft knock on my window.
“Hurry! We’ll be late!” he said in a hushed tone.
“For what?” was my reply.
“The answer to your question,” was all he answered as I dressed quickly.
We walked along the dark streets of the town from one light post to the next, which dimly illuminated the street. We came to Thompson Road and turned down it. It was dark, no street lamps traveled down the lonely lane. As we approached the old house it cast a dark shadow upon us in the low moonlight. Mr. Thompson easily glided past the rusted iron gate and up the rickety steps like a wraith. I followed him as fast as my short legs could follow him in the darkness.
From his coat pocket he removed a small ring with two rusted keys. One of these he inserted into the door lock, I could hear the old tumblers moving and click as he twisted the lock open. As I followed him into the entryway, I was met by a strong musty smell due to many years of no ventilation. We walked further into the house, I was surprised that Mr. Thompson hadn’t brought a flashlight with us though he moved through the hallways and rooms as if he knew his way from pure memory. I took keen notice as we walked that there remained no pictures or even fade marks of pictures once hanging on any of the walls.
We walked down a long hallway, the floorboards creaking beneath us. As we came closer to the door at the end, I perceived that a soft glow was emanating from around the doorframe. Mr. Thompson stopped at this point and spoke his first words to me since we entered the house. “What we are about to see might cause you to startle, the important thing is that you just observe and disturb nothing.”
I took his warning to heart and made a promise that no matter what I saw I would be as quiet as a church mouse. He reached out his hand and quietly opened the door. What lay behind I would never have imagined. It was the living room, or a parlor as it would have been referred to over a century ago. The one I no doubt had seen from my peering through the windowpanes. Within to my surprise however were people. I saw what appeared to be a party of twenty people or more dressed as if in a masquerade party straight out of Victorian England. I almost opened my mouth to speak had it not been for Mr. Thompson’s calloused hand stifling my mouth from uttering a peep. I stared at the scene in front of me and noticed that the people here didn’t seem right for some reason they all had a blank look in their eyes like they were sleep walking or drugged. They walked about not making a noise, several couples were dancing a silent waltz with no expression on their faces. In everything they did they took no notice of us. My attention was immediately caught by the wall of pictures on the opposite side of the room. I made my way quietly over to it being careful to not disturb anything in my path.
As I approached the wall, I anticipated seeing pictures of everyone who had either lived in the house and possibly relations to the past residents. What I did not expect to see in fact was empty pictures. Most of the pictures were of either empty rooms or nature. I scanned the wall more closely and to my horror found pictures with people in them, what I was not expecting to see was the people in these pictures to turn and look at me.
It took all my control to not cry out or faint at what I saw. I rubbed my eyes thinking they still had sleep in them, when I reopened them the people in the pictures were still moving and looking at me. They were not dressed in Victorian garb. Many wore the dress of more recent decades. The looks in their faces were as they were haunted with fear; it was as if they were trapped in the picture frames, the frames their prison cells.
I didn’t notice Mr. Thompson walk up behind me. I saw him begin to stare at a particular picture. There was a young lady in it, when she saw him, she began to peer at him intently pressing her hands against the glass as if trying to get out, looking at him longingly. It was in this brief moment that he forgot his own rule and touched the picture frame pressing his hand against her tiny one. The moment he did so everyone in the parlor stopped in his or her tracks looking at him, looking at us it felt. I had never felt my blood go cold as it did that night or ever since. How long they stared at us I do not know, only that eventually they began to slowly walk their way toward us.
“Run,” was all he could whisper to me as we tried to escape. We ran to the other end of the room yet the people in the room managed to pass through the furniture like ghosts to get to us. They left me alone, as I had made no disturbance yet they grabbed Mr. Thompson and dragged him to the wall. With his loose hand he dug in his pocket and threw me his rusty keys. “Look in the shed.” Was all he could get out as the now ghost like beings dragged him toward his end. The first ones to reach the wall turned almost into a vapor and dissipated before reforming into a frame unmoving, looking as if they belonged. I turned and ran down the hallway as I began to see Mr. Thompson to dissipate at the hands of his captors. What remained of his scream I heard as I fled the house running for what I believed to be my life.
The following day I awoke in my bed, the memory of the night before feeling like a nightmare. But was it true? I had to know. I ate a quick breakfast and walked down Thompson Road towards the house. When I reached it, it was quiet. The wind stirred blowing leaves all over the lawn, but Mr. Thompson was nowhere in sight. I stuck my hands in my pockets discovering the rusty key from my memory. Realizing I had not dreamed it entirely I made my way to the shed As I vaguely remembered his final words telling me to look before I fled. Inside the shed were tools and garden supplies typical of a gardener’s shed. On top of one of the barrels was a small leather book. Engraved on the cover was J.T., No doubt his initials. This was no doubt what he asked me to find.
I dared not enter the house again and instead grabbed a prybar and small flashlight from the shed. Ripping off the boards from the parlor window I managed to open the window a bit and stuck my flashlight in and look around. Everything looked the same, as if nothing had happened the night before with the exception of when my flashlight hit the wall of pictures, I saw Mr. Thompson looking back at me hauntingly. I ran back home and threw the book and keys in my dresser. To this day I still haven’t looked at them. I’m not sure I do.

A Ulysses contract is a decision of pact that is made in advance that is designed and intended to bind oneself to a decision in the future. The idea is that the decision is made regarding something in the future which is set in motion while you are rational and not encumbered by emotion or other factors that would cause us to make irrational decisions.
This type of contract is named after the pact that Ulysses (Odysseus) made with his men as they approached sirens while voyaging home by boat. He was forewarned that he would be drawn towards them and his own doom as he heard their song. So, while he was still clear in thought he had his men put wax in their ears and bind his hands to the mast so that he could not steer his ship into the rocks or jump into the sea once hearing the siren’s song, thereby saving him and his crew from destruction.
The parallel to trading / investing should be obvious. Making trading decisions when you are either euphoric because your bankroll has skyrocketed or when you’re defeated because you’ve just taken a huge loss. Decisions made under these situations will likely be tainted by greed in the first case or fear in the second. Simple forms of Ulysses contracts in these circumstance would be limit and stop loss orders. For instance, setting a limit order to sell a stock at a certain price point after a run up can help combat the temptation to hold a stock you know you should sell but are afraid to for fear of missing out on further upside.
On the contrary limit buy orders can be useful in assisting you to combat loss aversion by setting buy orders on stocks testing your buy target prices. I have missed significant buying opportunities that I had recognized well in advance because I was too afraid the stock would dip further.
Stop losses or at least plans to sell set in advance (or better yet at the time of purchase) can assist with the psychology of when to sell when a position turns against you. Psychology literature has demonstrated that most people will be more impacted by losses than they will by equivalent gains. Therefore, setting up advanced plans of when to exit positions when one invariably turns against you becomes of utmost importance for preservation of capital. Otherwise, you may be tempted to hold (or worse add to) losing positions simply to try and “win back” some of your money when, in reality, it would be far more advantageous to sell the position and move on to better prospects. You don’t have to make money back the same way you lost it. The most important thing is to maintain capital to remain in the game.
Ben Graham once said “The investor’s chief problem - and even his worst enemy - is indeed to be himself.” He even developed the analogy of Mr Market to describe times where the market as a whole acts irrationally. While this is a great analogy one can miss the fact that since the market is composed of people it is actually the individual people behind the market who are in fact acting irrationally.
While knowledge and information are key to investment decisions psychological makeup and avoidance of psychological pitfalls is probably just as important to overall investment success.
Of course, this was not a comprehensive list of tools that can be used as Ulysses contracts or psychological tools to prevent mistakes in trading / investing. If you have some tools that you’ve found particularly useful please share them.

The Adventures Of Warrior Omega
By Ryan Baker
Date: May 16, 2000
Location: South Eastern Part Of The U.S.
It was a normal day In May, when Alan Arthur Stukov, trucker for the company "Aconor Trucking Ltd." was on a delivery. Alan was on his way down to Florida. Meanwhile, at a army base, not far from Florida, Alan's brother, Joseph Stukov, had just finished a training exercise with some new recruits.
"Excellent Work, Soldiers." said Joseph. Just as Joseph said that, Sergeant Caleb Anderson had entered the scene. That was where Joseph Stood at Attention and Saluted Sergeant Anderson. "At Ease, Joseph." Said Sergeant Anderson. "Sir, I hadn't expected you to be on the field. I thought you still had work to do at the barracks?" Said Joseph. "I had Just finished that work you are referring to." said Sergeant Anderson, "Next on my list was a inspection of the Training exercises. By the way, how is your brother?".
"He's Doing Alright sir." Said Joseph, "He said he was on a delivery to a diner, not far from here. As for the training exercises, We've just completed the first part.". "Excellent, were there any problems?" Said Sergeant Anderson. While Sergeant Anderson and Joseph were going Over the inspection, Alan Stukov had just passed the Florida State Border, on the way into Florida. While Alan Was driving, he had the radio on. One particular song was "Puttin' the Dark Back into the night" By Sawyer Brown. Alan was singing along with the Song. That was where Bobby Raynor, a friend of Alan, and a fellow truck driver, came over the C.B. Radio. "Hiya Alan." Said Bobby. "Bobby, Is that You?" Asked Alan. "Of Course it's me, Alan." replied Bobby. "I didn't recognize you there for a moment.” said Alan, "How have you been all this time?".
"I'm doing great." replied Bobby. As Bobby and Alan were talking, Alan noticed someone in the distance. "I wonder whom the Person is?" Alan Said to himself, "It's Probably an illusion.". Meanwhile, in the distance, the person was going over his mission statement. "This should be interesting." The person said to himself, "The boss shall be pleased once the mission is completed.". As soon as the person said that, he started watching and waiting for when the coast is clear. Little did the person realize that there was a biker gang headed his way.
"Alright guys, the diner's not far off." said the leader of the biker gang. The Biker gang leader was a leader whom seemed to have a ruthless side to him, but on the other hand, a bit honourable. The gang he leads is a rough and tumble bunch. Meanwhile, Alan had just entered the area where the diner was located at. That was where he had seen Bobby Raynor at the parking lot of the diner "Diner of the Clouds". "Hi Alan." replied Bobby. "Hi Bobby." said Alan as he parked his truck and had gotten out of the truck. "Just let me go see the owner for a moment. I'll tell her i'm here." said Alan. "I'll come with you.” said Bobby. Meanwhile, the biker gang had just passed the Florida state border. That was where the lead biker had noticed a person in the distance. That person was the same person Alan had seen earlier. "Hey guys." said the lead biker, "It looks like we have a new target to rough up.". That was where the biker gang moved towards the person. Then one of the bikers had tossed a chain at the person. That was where one end of the chain had wrapped around the person.
"What matter of magic is this?" said the person. As soon as the person said that, he fell to the ground as the biker wielding the chain sped up. As a result, The person started to slide along the ground, getting dragged by the biker. Little did the bikers realize that the person isn't who he seems. All of a sudden, the person had managed to free himself from the chain. Just then, one of the bikers notices that the person had freed himself from the chain. "Hey Guys, it looks like our target is out of the chains." said the biker. As soon as the biker said that, he and the rest of the bikers turned right around and face the person. "You shall not stop me from completing my mission." said the person, "For The Glory Of The Master Of Zombies.". "The Master Of Zombies?" said the Gang Leader. "What do you say guys?" asked one of the Bikers. "I say we take this guy down." Said another biker, "What about you, boss?". "you're Right." said Greg Anderson, the biker gang leader.
That was where the gang had surrounded the person. "Alright, Bring it on." Said the person. That was where the person got into a defensive stance. Meanwhile, at Castle Diroctor, in the Dimension of Octiviox, King Eduardo Anderson had called for His Councillers. "Sire, State the reason why you have called for us." said John Taylors. "I have called you because of a major event." Said King Anderson. "What would that be, sire?" Asked John Taylors. "The Reawakening of the Master of Zombies." replied King Anderson. "The Reawakening, sire?" Said another Councilor. "Yes, the Reawakening." Said King Anderson, "It was 175 years ago this very month, when the Master of Zombies had attempted to plunge this realm into darkness. It was only with the help of the Knight Lord Joseph Barker and his sword, called the 'Omnolight', that stopped the Master Of Zombies and his minions of Darkness.". Meanwhile, back in Florida, The Biker Gang had managed to do some damage to the person. That was where on of the bikers had knocked the person down.
As soon as the person fell down, part of his mask was torn off, revealing his actual form underneath his mask. "What on Earth!?" Said one of the bikers, as he had noticed the torn piece of the person's mask. "I Guess you humans have figured out my secret." Said the person. "What Secret?" Asked Greg. "i am not from this realm." said the person. As Soon as the person said that, he took off his mask. "What the..." said one of the bikers as they witnessed the person transform into his actual form. As the Person Transformed, he also changed sizes. "Let's get him guys." said another biker. As soon as the biker said that, the gang attempted to rush at the person. Little did the gang realize that the person, in his actual form, is much stronger. That was where the person had finally transformed into his actual form. His Actual form is that of an undead creature. His entire body is covered in decayed flesh, and has a arch in the back. There are several sword slices in his body. He is a hulking Creature, standing over seven feet in height.
That was where one of the bikers had attempted to attack the creature. All of a sudden, the creature raised his hand. "Alright, i will see you pay for trying to mess with me." said the creature, "but first, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ghoultor.". "What do you say boys?" one of the bikers said. "Leave 'im to me" Another biker said. The biker is named Caleb Raynor. "Caleb, What do you have planned?" asked Greg. "I'm planning on taking him down with my power." said Caleb. "Alright Then, Show him that no one messes with the Fire Griffens." Said Greg.
That was where Caleb picks up several pieces of equipment from his motorcycle's side pack. The Equipment included a shotgun, a chain, and a Brass knuckle. As soon as Caleb picked up his gear, he started walking towards Ghoultor. "This Is Gonna be Fun." Caleb Said as he walked towards Ghoultor. As Caleb Walked towards Ghoultor, he equipped the brass knuckle on his right hand. Meanwhile, at the diner, "Diner Of The Clouds", Alan And Bobby were going over old times. That was where Officer Adam Morgan had entered the diner. Officer Morgan was a "Take Charge" kind of person. He had his regular equipment with him. All of a sudden, a call came over the radio in Officer Morgan's police Car. "I'll Be Right Back." Said Officer Morgan, as he headed towards the Police Car. That was where Officer Morgan had Picked up the comm-link in the police car. "Calling all available Officers." the voice from the other end said, "there's a fight going in the vicinity of the local military base.". "I'm on my way." said Officer Morgan. That was where the biker gang and Ghoultor had managed to take the fight even closer to where the diner was located at. Meanwhile, back at the diner, Alan had just started unloading his delivery.
Just then, Bobby had noticed something in the distance. It was the biker gang and Ghoultor fighting in the distance. As the Gang was fighting Ghoultor, Ghoultor had managed to toss several of the Gang Members. Just Then, Officer Morgan had arrived at the scene. "What The..." Officer Morgan said to himself. That was where Officer Morgan had called in for back-up. After Officer Morgan did that, he tried to break up the fight. "Alright, Break it up, all of you." Said Officer Morgan. That was where Ghoultor had turned to face Officer Morgan. "Good Thing i called for Back-up, before stepping out of the Car." Officer Morgan said to himself, "I just hope they can arrive in time.".
Just Then, Ghoultor had charged at Officer Morgan. Officer Morgan immediately moved out of the way. At that moment, Ghoultor came crashing into the police Car. "Alright, whoever you are, You're not going to mess with me." said Officer Morgan, "You're Going Down.". Meanwhile, in the Dimension of Octiviox, a spy had just entered Castle Diroctor. "Ah lad, you're here." said Ortonk Poreon, "How have you been?". "I've Been Better, but i have some dire news to tell the king." Replied Angus Davidson. "What do you mean?" asked Ortonk.
"It would seem that the Master Of Zombies's minions are trying to construct a giant battleship of some sort." replied Angus. "This is most Dire." said Ortonk, "the King Must Know about this.". "Fortunately, i had managed to acquire a copy of the plans, and had seen that the battleship is incomplete. They still need two more parts." said Angus. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Ghoultor has just started to head for his Objective, which was located in the military base. Both Officer Morgan and the biker gang had given chase to Ghoultor, as he was heading to the part of the base where the Objective of his mission is located at. At That moment, one of the Soldiers at the base had noticed the situation on that side of the base. "What On Earth?" The Soldier said to himself. At That moment, Corporal Mel Barker had entered the scene. "Soldier, What's Going On?" asked Corporal Barker. "I'm not sure, but it looks like some sort of decayed creature being chased by a biker gang and a police officer." Replied the Soldier.
"We've better do something about this." said the Soldier. As soon as the Soldier said that, the soldier and Corporal Barker had called for other soldiers to come and help in the chase. Meanwhile, in the Dimension Of Octiviox, at the Tomb of the Master Of Zombies, the Master Of Zombies had arisen from his Tomb. "Has it been 175 years already?" the Master of Zombies said to himself. That was where the Master Of Zombies looked around his surroundings. Just then, he went over to a mirror. His Reflection showed a creature that had suffered hundreds of years of decay. His Skin had turned grey-green in colour. His Eyes had sunken back into their Sockets. "Hmm, it seems that the objects in this tomb had sustained quite some wear." said the Master Of Zombies, "This must mean that the Knight Lord Joseph Barker is long Gone.". After he said that, the Master of Zombies went over and picked up his sword and shield, only to find that time had deteriorated the sword and shield. "Well, i have better get some new equipment." said the Master Of Zombies. As soon as the Master Of Zombies said that, he headed out to the entrance of the tomb. Little did the Master Of Zombies realize that a spy was outside the tomb, in the Graveyard of Darkness.
The Graveyard of Darkness is a dark, and almost Desolate place. Most Of the gravestones have fallen apart. The Spy is Loyal to King Anderson. The Spy was located partway between the centre of the Graveyard and the entrance. At that moment, the Spy had seen the Master Of Zombies. "By the Elder Beast God." the spy said, under his breath, "I Must tell the King about this.". All of a sudden, a Shadow Phantom had appeared behind the spy. That was where the spy turned to face the Shadow Phantom. Then the Shadow Phantom had raised his sickle. The Spy had attempted to block the sickle as it came down upon him. "Yaargh!!" Exclaimed the Spy as he fell to the ground. Then, with his last bit of Strength, he had written a message.
That message was "King Anderson, there is bad news. The Master Of Zombies has arisen from his tomb. I suspect he is going to join up with his legions of the undead. A suggested plan of action is to prepare the defenses. Unfortunately, i might not be able to help. Next Time you see me, i might be one of the undead. Please Tell my brother i still care about him.". As soon as the spy completed the message, he had attached the message to a carrying case on the homing pigeon he had carried with him. Meanwhile, at the military base, Ghoultor had made it to the mission objective. "Excellent." said Ghoultor, "The Master Of Zombies will be pleased.".
At that moment, Ghoultor had grabbed the objects he was sent to acquire. The objects were a computer system and hover tech circuits. Just then, Officer Morgan, the biker gang, and the soldiers had blocked the entrance to the building. "You won't capture me." Ghoultor sneers. At that moment, the soldiers aimed their rifles at Ghoultor. "You think your puny weapons can affect me." Sneers Ghoultor, as he was preparing to charge at the soldiers, the biker gang, and Officer Morgan. "Soldiers, prepare to fire on my mark." said Corporal Barker. At that moment, Ghoultor had charged at the group blocking his way. Meanwhile, at the diner, Bobby had noticed the incident at the base. At that moment, Bobby went to his truck and picked up a pair of binoculars. "What on Earth?" said Bobby, "Alan, you have better see this.". "What are you talking about?" Asked Alan. "Apparently, there's some sort of situation going on at the base." replied Bobby. "Wait a minute." said Alan, "My Brother is stationed at the base.". At that moment, Ghoultor had made it over to the other side of the road.
That was where Alan and Bobby had gone closer to investigate. Little did either of them realize that the situation is far more dangerous, because of the plans being put into motion, and Ghoultor's undead powers. While the situation was happening, in another dimension, a robed individual was watching the events unfold. "this is most dire." the individual said to himself. At that moment, Broktar, a Cyborg Lizardman had entered the room. "Sire, you have called for me." said Broktar. "Yes indeed, Broktar." replied the individual, "It seems that there is a major disturbance in the dimension of Octiviox.". "Is it the Master Of Zombies?" asked Broktar. "I'm Afraid so, Broktar." replied the Individual.
"Hmm, this is most dire, indeed." said Broktar, as he moved his cybernetically enhanced left arm. "Broktar." said the Individual. "Yes, Gate Master." said Broktar. "i want you to go into the dimension of Octiviox." said the Gate Master. "For what reason, Gate Master." asked Broktar. "I want you to intercept an individual whom will be entering that dimension very shortly." replied the Gate Master. "Whom is the individual that you want me to intercept?" asked Broktar. "The Individual in question is Alan Stukov." Replied the Gate Master. Meanwhile, near the base, Ghoultor had made it to the designated sector where he will enter a portal leading to the dimension of Octiviox. "i shall complete the mission." Ghoultor said to himself. At that moment, Ghoultor was surrounded by the soldiers, the gang, and Officer Morgan. "You humans shall not capture me!!!" Ghoultor said.
As soon as he said that, Ghoultor had opened a dimensional portal into Octiviox. "Soldiers, don't let him get away." Corporal Barker said to the soldiers. Just then, the back-up Officer Morgan radioed in earlier, had arrived. "What on Earth is that creature?" Officer James Sorbo said, when he arrived at the scene. "i haven't the slightest what the creature is, but we better not let him get away with the gear he's holding." Officer Diana Joelson said. At that moment, a giant came through the Portal. "Sir" said the Giant, "the Master Of Zombies is awaiting your arrival back in Octiviox.". "I'll be there right away." said Ghoultor. As soon as Ghoultor said that, he tossed a smoke bomb to cover his tracks. "soldiers, fire upon the target." Corporal Barker said the soldiers. "take him down." Officer Morgan said. But the soldiers and the cops were too late in stopping Ghoultor and the Giant from entering the portal.
"Oh, Great." said Officer Morgan, "They're Gone.". At that moment, Alan Stukov and Bobby Raynor had arrived at the scene. "What's going on?" asked Alan. "Apparently, the creature had escaped into some other dimension." replied Officer Morgan. "It looked like the creature was carrying two devices. What were the two devices?" asked Bobby. Meanwhile, in the Karnoxus sector of space, a Kor'drakk cruiser was continuing their patrol. "Computer, access database." said the Captain. The Captain is Captain Zordash, captain of the cruiser, "Dragon Fire.". Zordash is distrustful of humans. "Sir." said one of the crew members. "Yes, Helmsman Mecator." said Captain Zordash. "There seems to be a wormhole several light years in front of the Cruiser." said Helmsman Mecator.
At that moment, the ship started experiencing technical problems. little did the crew realize that they would be on a trip to the dimension of Octiviox. Meanwhile, on Earth, Alan had talked to his brother, Joseph. "Joseph, what are the capabilities of the objects that the creature had stolen?" Asked Alan. "Not much, on their own." replied Joseph, "but when they are connected to a vehicle, it could be dangerous.". "then allow me to help in retrieving the objects." said Alan. "That could be risky." said Joseph, "Do You really want to help in the situation?". "Of Course, Joseph." said Alan. "Hey Alan, i just thought of something." said Bobby. "What is that?" asked Alan. "You might be gone a long time. Shouldn't you at least call your boss, and tell him you won't be in for a while." replied Bobby. "That's right, Bobby." said Alan, "i have better do so.". As soon as Alan said that, he went back to his truck and picked up his cell phone and phoned his boss. "Mr. Jackson" said Alan. "Yes Alan, what can i do for you?" said Mr. Jackson. "i will not be in for the next while. I'm not sure how long." said Alan. "For What reason, Alan?" asked Mr. Jackson. "It is a major situation. Apparently there was a robbery at the military base here in Florida." said Alan. "Wait a minute, isn't your brother stationed at the base." said Mr. Jackson. "Yes, Joseph is stationed at the base." said Alan.
"Alright then, i'll get one of the other truckers to cover your loads." said Mr. Jackson. At that moment, Alan and Mr. Jackson had finished up the conversation. Alan went over to Joseph. "Then it's agreed." said Joseph. After Joseph said that, he and the other Soldiers prepared to retrieve the Gate Portal Generator. "Alan" Bobby said. "Yes, Bobby." Said Alan. "I just wanted to wish you luck on this mission." said Bobby, "and i would like to say that I will volunteer for this mission.". "But Bobby, what about your fiance?" asked Alan. "Oh yeah, that's right." said Bobby, "Julie and i were planning on going out tonight. thanks for reminding me.".
Meanwhile, in the dimension of Octiviox, Telzor and his clan, the Shadow Wolves were in the main building of the clan's encampment. At that moment, an Orc Warrior had just entered the building. "Sir, i have some major news." said the Orc Warrior. "What news is that?" asked Telzor. "Our Scouts had found some evidence of the awakening of the undead." said the Orc Warrior. "This is major, indeed." Telzor said, Grimly, "then this would mean the Master Of Zombies had arisen from his tomb.". Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Gate Portal Generator was put into position. Little did the soldiers, the Police, Alan, and Bobby realize that the biker gang was still around the area. All of a sudden, Greg had gone over to Officer Morgan. "Adam." Said Greg, "This isn't over between us.".
At that moment, Greg had motioned for the other bikers. "We will see each other soon." said Greg. After he said that, Greg got on his motorcycle and started to drive away. "All Bikers, let's roll." said Greg. "Alan." Said Joseph. "Yes, Joseph." Said Alan. "The Portal Generator is up and ready." Said Joseph. "what dimension is the portal generator set to?" Asked Alan. "It seems to be a dimension called Octiviox." replied Joseph. "Octiviox?" said Alan. "Apparently it's a dimension of magic and fantasy." said Joseph. After Joseph said that, Alan started moving towards the portal. "Wait a minute, Alan." said Joseph. "What is it, Joseph?" Asked Alan. "You should have some equipment." Said Joseph, "Just in case you get in trouble.".
As soon as Joseph said that, he went and retrieved some equipment for Alan. One such piece of equipment was some armor. Another piece of equipment was a comm-link communicator. "Alan, i just want to wish you good luck." Said Officer Morgan. Just then, Joseph had returned with to the site. "Alan, here is the equipment that you will be working with." said Joseph, as he presented the equipment. "First, is the visor helmet. It has several visor modes, which includes night vision mode." said Joseph. As Joseph was presenting the equipment, Greg Anderson and the other members of the "Fire Griffens" had turned around and started to head towards the portal. At that moment, a cloaked person came into the area. "Wait a minute." said one of the bikers. "What is it?" asked another biker. "There Seems to be a cloaked figure behind us." said the biker. Just then, the bikers had turned to face the person. "Alright, whoever you are, explain yourself." said Greg. "I am the Dark Mage known as Aizortun." said Aizortun, "I have come here to Earth to request your services.".
"Services, For What?" Said Caleb. “Yeah, Caleb's Right. What do you want us to do?" said David Joelson. As Soon as David said that, he and several other bikers started to surround Aizortun. "Hold it guys. let him explain his situation." Said Greg. "Thank You." said Aizortun, "i come from a dimension called Octiviox. It is a realm of magic and fantasy. At this time, a dark being called the Master Of Zombies has arisen from his tomb.". "Hold it." said David, "For all we know, Aizortun could actually be this 'Master Of Zombies'.". "Wait a minute." Said Caleb, "Didn't Ghoultor mention his name when we encountered him earlier.". "Yeah, that's right, Caleb." Said Duane Jackson.
"As i was saying." said Aizortun, "The Master Of Zombies had tried to conquer the dimensions several times. However, he has been stopped by many heroes. The Most recent hero in history was the Knight Lord Joseph Barker.". "How are we involved in this situation?" asked Greg. "I have come here to request that you bikers help in defending Octiviox from the darkness that is known as the Master Of Zombies." Said Aizortun. While Aizortun and the bikers were talking, the portal generator had been set for the coordinates of Octiviox. "the coordinates have been set. You're ready to go." said Joseph. That was when Alan headed towards the Portal. "One last thing, Alan." Said Joseph. "What's that?" asked Alan. "Good Luck." Said Joseph.
As soon as Joseph said that, Officer Morgan came over to the portal area. "Alan, I'm Coming along." said Officer Morgan. "Well, I'm Surprised." said Alan, "i didn't know you were the adventurous type.”. "Knock it off, will you." said Officer Morgan. "Why would you want to join me on this mission." asked Alan. "First of all, he had stolen those two parts." said Officer Morgan, "second, he had wrecked my Police Car.". Meanwhile, in the dimension of Octiviox, at the Orc Encampment, Telzor and the leaders of the other Orc Clans were discussing a course of action. "The best course of action is a direct assault on the Undead Keep." said Telzor. As Telzor was speaking, he rolled out a map of the Undead Keep, and started putting symbols to show the plan. "That sounds like a good plan." Said G'tekor, leader of the Crimson Tigers clan, "but from what my scouts have informed me about the situation, the Master of Zombies had acquired various pieces of technology from other dimensions.".
"What do you mean, G'tekor?" asked Raiztor, leader of the Atorton Clan. "For one thing." said G'tekor, "My scouts report that there are several gun emplacements at the front of the Keep. These guns are operated by a team of two zombies each.". "What if we were to send one of our faster troops in and have them move between the gun emplacements, so that they would hit each other instead of us." said Raiztor, "Would That Work?". "It Sounds Risky." Replied G'tekor, "But it might Work.". Meanwhile, back on Earth, Alan And Adam had entered the portal, after they had talked about the situation. "This Should Be interesting." said Alan. "What do you mean, Alan?" asked Officer Morgan. "we would be entering an unknown dimension." said Alan. Little did Alan and Officer Morgan realize that Aizortun the Dark Mage had warped the Biker gang and himself to the dimension of Octiviox. Meanwhile, in The dimension Of Octiviox, At Castle Diroctor, King Anderson had contacted his advisors. At that moment, The homing Pigeon had flown through a open window. That was where one of the soldiers went over and picked up the pigeon and retrieved the message.
"Sire." said the soldier, "i have some bad news.". "What has happened?" asked King Anderson. "The Spy whom was stationed at the Graveyard of Darkness has died." said the soldier. "What else does the message say?" asked King Anderson. "Apparently the Master Of Zombies has awakened from his tomb." said the Soldier. "That does it." said King Anderson, as he rose from his throne, "we must take action.". At that moment, outside in the main part of Castle Diroctor, Alan And Officer Morgan had arrived through the portal. "Hmm, Most impressive." said Alan. Just then, Joseph had contacted Alan via the comm-link communicator. "Ah, Alan." Said Joseph, "It seems that you have finally arrived in Octiviox.”. "Yeah, and this device actually works." said Alan, "Joseph, where exactly are we in this dimension?". "You and Officer Morgan are located in Castle Diroctor." Said Joseph. "Any idea whom the ruler of the castle is." Asked Alan. "I have a feeling that we'll soon find out." said Joseph, "but from what i know, his name is King Eduardo Anderson.". At that moment, King Anderson had arrived at the courtyard. "What is all this commotion about?" asked King Anderson. "Greetings, your Highness." said Alan, "I am Alan Stukov, and he is Officer Adam Morgan.". "We're here to....” said Officer Morgan.
But before Officer Morgan could even finish the sentence, he and Alan were surrounded by the King's Soldiers. Just then, Ortonk Poreon had arrived at the scene. "Sire, What's going on?" asked Ortonk. "it seems that two intruders were found trespassing on the grounds of this kingdom." said King Anderson. "intruders?" asked Ortonk. "Yes, intruders." said King Anderson, "And they must be dealt with immediately.". "Wait a minute." said Ortonk, "I think I have seen these two so-called 'intruders' before.". "What do you mean, Ortonk?" asked one of the soldiers. "I remember seeing two individuals pictured in a book at the Arch Mage's Tower." said Ortonk, "The text was in a form of Orcish language, but it said that the two individuals would be the heroes that will help in stopping the Master Of Zombies.". At that moment, the sound of gunfire had sounded outside the walls of the castle. All of a sudden, Officer Morgan had charged at several of the King's Soldiers. "hold it right there, intruder." said one of the soldiers. "Wait, he might be able to help." said Ortonk. That was where the soldiers had moved out of the way, so that Officer Morgan could get past them.
Once he got past the soldiers, Officer Morgan ran up the stairs to the top of the wall. As soon as Officer Morgan had reached the top of the wall, he saw where the gunfire was coming from. It was coming from the weapon mounted on Broktar's Cybernetic Left Arm. "Hold Your Fire." said Officer Morgan. "We couldn't possibly do that." said one of the Archers. "what do you mean?" asked Officer Morgan. "the Creature fired at us first." said one of the Archers. "Yeah, we were only defending ourselves." said another archer. "I am here for the human known as Alan Stukov." said Broktar. "What is your reason?" asked Officer Morgan. "i am here on a mission for the Gate Master." said Broktar. "Who is this Gate Master you are talking about?" asked Officer Morgan. "He is the Master Of the Gate Portals." replied Broktar.
"Let the person in." said one of King Anderson's Advisors. "Do you really think it's a good idea?" asked another one of the Advisors. "of course." replied the advisor, "the Gate Master is a highly regarded person, especially in my homeland.”. Meanwhile, in the Karnaxus sector, the Kor'Drakk crew of the ship "Dragon Fire" had entered the wormhole. "Computer, what is the coordinates?" Captain Zordash had asked the ship's computer. "Unable to access interstellar location circuit system file." the ship's computer replied. "This is just great." said Captain Zordash. "Sir, it seems that a opening to the wormhole is just ahead of us." said Helmsman Mecator. "Chief Engineer Jor'Dorus." said Captain Zordash, "What is the situation in engineering?". "Captain." said Jor'Dorus, "The engines are still functioning. But, Warp coils are malfunctioning.". "what's the status on the teleporter device?" asked Captain Zordash. "i'll patch you right into the teleporter room, sir." said Jor'Dorus.
At That moment, the ship had entered through the opening in the Wormhole. "Sir, there seems that land is coming into view." said Helmsman Mecator. "Land?" said Captain Zordash, "Helmsman, prepare for evasive Maneuvers.". Meanwhile, at the castle, Broktar had explained the situation to Alan, Officer Morgan, and the residents of Castle Diroctor. "So, what you're telling us." said Alan, "is that the Master of Zombies is planning to take over this realm.". "Why doesn't the Gate Master just come in and Battle the Master Of Zombies in person?" asked Officer Morgan. "For One main Reason." said Broktar, "if he were to leave the Gate Portals unwatched, creatures from other worlds and dimensions could cause havoc among the worlds.". At that moment, one of the archers stationed at the top of the castle wall had seen something in the distance. That something is, in fact, the Kor'Drakk cruiser "Dragon Fire.".
"Wait a minute." the archer said to himself, "It looks like the object is about to land in a short time.". As soon as the Archer said that, he took out a telescope and aimed it in the direction where the object is about to land in. "What on Earth?" said the Archer. "What is it, Jean?" asked one of the archers. "it seems that the object is about to land in Orc territory." said Jean, "to be more precise, territory controlled by the 'Shock Rangers' Clan.". "What is the first act of business?" asked Alan. "we should definitely prepare defenses around the castle." said John Taylors. "Aye, and we should also send a team of warriors to stop the Master Of Zombies." said Ortonk, "not only that, but we should also find some allies whom are willing to help.".
"Yes, that definitely sounds like a plan." said King Anderson, “but we should also acquire the sword called 'Omnolight'.". "Omnolight?" asked Alan. "Yes, it's the sword that the Knight Lord Joseph Barker used 175 years ago this month to defeat the Master Of Zombies." Said King Anderson. "We must get going, if we are to stand a chance." said Officer Morgan. "If it must be, so be it." said King Anderson, "but before you go, you should have this.". As soon as King Anderson said that, he handed Alan a map of the land. "Your first destination should be the Arch Mage's Tower." said King Anderson, "The Arch Mage, Alex Johnson, is a friend of mine. He would be a worthy ally in this mission.". Meanwhile, in a village located to the north-west area, not far from a entrance to the Queen of the Witches's hideout, Aizortun the Dark Mage was going over the plan with the "Fire Griffens" biker gang. At that moment, a minotaur had arrived in the area. "Ah, Scaltokas." said Aizortun, “Finally you have arrived.".
"Comrade." said Scaltokas, "i am surprised you haven't been captured by now.". "What do you mean by that?" asked Greg. "I mean that there are some bounty hunters after Aizortun." replied Scaltokas. "why are the bounty hunters after him?" asked Caleb. "It was during the final battles of the Territory Wars between the Orc clans lead by Telzor, leader of the 'Shadow Wolf' Clan, and the human forces." replied Scaltokas, "that Aizortun had betrayed the human forces.". "Yes, but i had escaped just before the orc clans were repelled from Castle Diroctor." said Aizortun. "How did you meet the Orc clans?" asked Caleb. "I haven't met the leader of the Orc Forces personally." said Aizortun, "but i had met Xeintox, leader of the 'Shock Rangers' Clan. In fact i had helped them gain some new weaponry, some of which are from Earth.".
While Scaltokas was talking to Aizortuns the Dark Mage and the biker gang, just north of the village, and a little way to the East, the Kor'Drakk cruiser had just crash landed. "Helmsman." said Captain Zordash, "What is the status?". "Most of the systems are still functioning." said Helmsman Mecator, "But they have sustained a serious amount of damage.". "Is the shield generator still operational?" asked Captain Zordash. "Shield generator is still functional, and so is the weapons systems." replied Helmsman Mecator. Just then, Sergeant Dorgarus had entered the bridge. "Sir." said Dorgarus, "Permission to scout out this sector.". "Acknowledged, Sergeant Dorgarus." said Captain Zordash. As soon as Captain Zordash said that, he had contacted Lieutenant Gotarus.
Meanwhile, near Castle Diroctor, Alan And Officer Morgan had checked the map. "Ah, so this must where the Arch Mage's tower is located." said Alan. "I find it odd that you humans would try and find allies, when it would be much easier to go straight into the main base, and take on the Master Of Zombies in direct battle." said Broktar. "That may seem easier, Broktar." said Officer Morgan, "But Remember, he has a army at his command.". "Not only that." said Alan, "But from what King Anderson had told us, he has a flying Battleship.". "what makes you so certain that your chances at victory will be better with any allies?" asked Broktar. "you just wait and see, Broktar." Said Officer Morgan, "We will win this battle.".
Little did they Realize that they were being spied upon by a Ghoul. "Hmm, humans are about." said the Ghoul, "i must tell the Master Of Zombies.". As soon as he said that, the ghoul had tapped once on a button on his comm-link. Immediately, the comm-link had contacted the forces at the Undead Keep. At that moment, Quotor the Wraith had seen that the communications console had been accessed. That was where Quotor went over and accessed the Communication console. "General Quotor." said the Ghoul, "Ghoul Agent K'Dortok reporting in.". "What is your status?" asked Quotor. "There are two humans and a cyborg lizardman headed to the Arch Mage's Tower." Said K'Dortok. "Excellent." said Quotor, "Follow those humans and the lizardman.". After Quotor said that, he went over to the main section of the Undead Keep. It was there, that he met the other leaders of the Undead Forces. "Ah, General Quotor." said the Battle Knight, "It is good to see you.".
"Battle Knight." said Quotor, "I'm quite surprised you haven't already attempted to attack Castle Diroctor.". "Arrgh!!" Exclaimed the Battle Knight as he went off in a blind rage. "Ooh, that's a wise move." said Fortox. "Why am i not surprised, Fortox." said Quotor. Just then, Zoutoxas the Dark Troll had entered the scene. "Ah, Air Commander Zoutoxas." said Quotor, “How are you?". "Excellent." replied Zoutoxas, "Fortox, what is the status of your troops' mission to find and destroy the tomb of the Knight Lord Joseph Barker?". "My forces are searching for it as we speak." said Fortox. Meanwhile, Alan, Officer Morgan, and Broktar had arrived at the Arch Mage's Tower. "Hmm, I'm Rather surprised." said Alan. "Why is that, Human?" said Broktar. "I was expecting something more magical." replied Alan. "Yeah, After All." said Officer Morgan, "This is supposed to be a realm of magic and fantasy.".
After Officer Morgan said that, he went over to the door and used the door knocker. Meanwhile, inside the Arch Mage's Tower, Alex Johnson was going over his spellbooks. "Hmm, there doesn't seem to be any information on the object that you had said, Tirus." said Alex. Just then, Alex's Apprentice had entered the main room. "Sir" said the Apprentice, "There are two people and a lizardman outside the Tower.". "What do they look like?" asked Alex. "The two people are dressed in unusual clothing, those not found in this realm." said the apprentice, "The Lizardman, however, seems to have metallic parts connected to organic flesh.". "That seems to be a similar description to that of the heroes of legend." said Alex, "Allow them in.". "Yes, sir." said the Apprentice, as he was heading towards the main door. Meanwhile, at the door of the Arch Mage's Tower, Alan, Officer Morgan, and Broktar were waiting outside the place. Just then, the Apprentice had arrived at the main door. "The Arch Mage will see you now." said the Apprentice, as he opened the door. "It's about time." said Broktar. "Who is this Arch Mage?" asked Alan.
"The Arch Mage is Alex Johnson." said the Apprentice, "He is quite Powerful.". "Just how high does this tower extend to?" Asked Broktar, "My servo joints are about to malfunction.". "it's only 10 floors." replied the Apprentice. "that doesn't seem to long, does it, eh Broktar." Alan said to Broktar. "Ha, you humans may laugh, but you don't know what it is like to have cybernetics replacing any limb that is lost." said Broktar. Meanwhile, in the main room of the Arch Mage's Tower, Alex had brought the Book of Legends over to the table. "Why did you bring the book over to the table?" asked Tirus. "It is to check up on the legend of the heroes." replied Alex. Just then, the Apprentice had arrived in the main room, ahead of Broktar, Alan, And Officer Morgan.
"Sir" said the Apprentice, "the people in question are on their way.". "Excellent." said The Arch Mage. Meanwhile, at the Crash site of the downed Kor'Drakk ship, the crew were working on the repairs. "Chief Engineer Jor'Dorus." said Captain Zordash, "What is the status of the repairs?". Just then, the ship was hit by a outside force. "Alert." the ship's computer said, "Unidentified hostiles located in area.". "Computer, where was the ship hit?" asked Captain Zordash. "Middle section of port side." said the ship's computer. Outside the ship, two Orc Warriors, riding on Griontors had moved into postion. That was after one of the warriors had fired a rocket at the ship. "Sire." said one of the Orc warriors. "Yes, Comrade" said Xeintox. "We have started phase one of the raid." said the Orc Warrior. "Excellent." said Xeintox, "Prepare to move to phase two.".

SOLVED!! I thought to look up console commands for carry weight, and came across this:
https://www.reddit.com/Fallout/comments/40m6q1/psa_console_command_to_increase_carryweight/#:~:text=For%20any%20PC%20players%20out,increase%20your%20carryweight%20by%20x.
With a little modding of the AV, my Mr. Handy is now slinging irons with the rootin-tootin'est of 'em!
Essentially, I'm having a similar problem to this old thread:
https://www.reddit.com/FalloutMods/comments/145pe6x/fnv_new_vegas_with_robco_certified_mr_handy_has_a/
After removing my Mr Handy's "That Gun", hoping to replace it with "Li'l Devil", I found that they refused to accept it, being at their "weight limit". I checked - and yes, 0/0 carry weight.
Essentially, one can add mods to robot companions, and one of them adds inventory weight and a one-handed gun slot to a Mr. Handy.
I think the problem may have occured, or at least become visible, when trying to add another two-handed gun for the Mr. Handy to carry. A game message exclaimed that they couldn't carry it, and I figured that perhaps there was only enough weight to carry a single gun.
This might've been what triggered the bug - Whether being told to carry a heavy second weapon, or being given a weapon while already weilding one.
Anyway, with all that said... Does anybody know of any kind of fix?

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.

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Game on, cocksuckers!

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Hit-Girl

Hit-Girl, or with her real name Mindy Macready, is a major character in the Kick Ass movie duology, serving as the deuteragonist of the story. After her former-cop father get framed as a drug dealer and sent to the jail by the evil mob boss Frank D'Amico, her mother could not cope with the events and died after giving birth to Mindy. Since Mr. Macready was in jail, his close friend and former-partner sergeant Marcus Williams took care of her as her guardian for temporary amount of time.
Five years later, Hit-Girl's father Damon Macready finished his time in jail hetook custody of Mindy and since that day trained her for next several years. As the deadly father-daughter crime-fighting duo Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, they set out to avenge Mindy's mother and Damon's imprisonment by tracking down and killing Frank D'Amico's henchmen and drug dealers one by one until reaching D'Amico himself. During their adventure of hunting down Frank D'Amico they met with a vigilante called "Kick Ass" (with his real name Dave Lizewski), who recently was the attention of the social media and became allies with him. Getting tricked by Frank's son Chris D'Amico (who was disguised as an another vigilante called Red Mist) Kick Ass and Big Daddy gets captured by the mooks of Frank D'Amico, Hit-Girl came to rescue them from getting tortured and burned alive by the hands of Frank's mob. She manages to save Kick Ass but things were too late for her father Big Daddy. After this she, with the help of Kick Ass, kills Frank D'Amico.
In Kick Ass 2, two years passed from the death of her father, Mindy now lives with Marcus and started at highschool now, and now promised him to stop fightning with criminals and living a normal life. Meanwhile, Chris D'Amico comes back as The Motherfucker, with an entire army of hired costumed criminals to backup him, with the goal of killing Kick Ass and everyone he loves. Starting from damaging and killing his "superhero" allies, and even going as far as killing his dad and kidnapping him during his dad's funeral. After saving Kick Ass from Motherfucker's mooks, Hit-Girl and Kick Ass last time teams up and with other costumed superheroes they fight with The Motherfucker and his evil army. After a rough victory, Hit-Girl leaves the New York in order to protect Marcus from police inquiry and because she is wanted for murdering several of the people.
Allies: Big Daddy (Father; deceased), Unnamed mother (Deceased), Marcus Williams (Her guardian), Kick Ass (Friend, ally, love interest), Justice Forever)
Enemies: Frank D'Amico (Nemesis; deceased), Chris D'Amico/Red Mist/The Motherfucker, Mother Russia (Deceased), Toxic-Mega Cunts, random street thugs and drug dealers
Note: Hit-Girl's feats from Kick Ass 2 will be seperated from her feats in Kick Ass as not only she is 2 years older in the sequel (she is 15 in Kick Ass 2 as confirmed by Dave/Kick Ass and so she should be around 13 in Kick Ass as the events of Kick Ass 2 happens 2 years later from the first one and Hit-Girl was a highschool freshman in Kick Ass 2)
Note 2: ın Kick Ass 2 her feats as filled with adrenaline will gonna get seperated by her regular feats.
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Source Material: All feats are pulled from the movies Kick Ass, and Kick Ass 2. You can see which feats are from which movie since i will seperate her first movie feats and second movie feats. ​

Kick Ass

Physicals

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Strength
Striking Strength:

• Knocks a man to a seat with a kick to the face
• Backflip kicks a man in the face strong enough to lift him off his feet, sending him like a feet away through a glass table
• After throwing a butterfly knife into a man's stomach Hit-Girl kicks the knife and man with enough force to push the guy several feet away and make the knife dragged to his crotch from stomach
• Kicks a man in the stomach with both legs strong enough to send him a few feet away
• Shatters a glass bottle on Frank D'Amico's head

Striking Strength (her signature weapon a seperatable staff with blades on it's both ends):

• Stabs through a man's body
• Slices through a glass bottle
• Slashes a man's back, than stabs him
• Stabs a man
• Slices through a man's leg, than stabs his back
• Slices through a lamp stem
• Stabs through a woman alonside a metal door behind her with both of the blades of the staff

Physical/lifting/throwing/other:

• Throws a shuriken with enough force to pin it to a wall
• Climbs onto a man's back, holds the said man's arm from moving it with one hand, throws a wire-attrached knife through an another guy's wrist, than grabs the man she is on between her legs, than rolls to the ground, flipping the guy with her legs in the process. Makes a guy she stabbed with the wire-attached knife shoot himself with his own gun by forcing him to do with the said rope, with the guy not being able to break out of it
• Throws an empty handgun to a man's face with enough force to hurt him
• Can support her weight by holding onto a shelv with one hand and accurately shoot a handgun with her other meanwhile doing that (as a note given she wears a bulletproof suit it's safe to say she weighs a tad bit more than a regular 10 year old would weigh)

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Durability
Blunt force:

• Big Daddy shoots Hit-Girl with kevlar armor so that she will gonna get used to it, than off-screen gets shot twice more
  • As a note, Big Daddy used low velocity bullets on purpose so that she wouldn't get hurt
• Gets shot with a handgun 3 times (to her bulletproof suit) and than falls couple meters. This temporarily knocked her out for an unknown amount of time.
• Gets kicked in the face by Frank D'Amico, but this causes her to fall and gives her a bloody nose
  • Frank is strong enough to break the legs of his table by slamming Hit-Girl to it
• Gets choked by Frank D'Amico for several seconds, than gets thrown onto a table by him
• Gets hit in the face by Frank D'Amico, than gets slammed to a table by him with enough force to break it's legs
• Gets punched in the face by Frank D'Amico twice. But she was barely concious after this

Piercing:

• She herself doesn't have any notable resistance to piercing damage, but her suit has shown to be immune to at least low caliber handguns (will be mentioned in equipment section)

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Speed/Agility
Movement/Agility:

• Does a backflip kick, does a cartwheel
• Slashes a mook with wire-attached knife before he pulls a gun, than runs and climbs up to an another mook that just saw her attacking that mook before he was able to pull his gun and shoot her
• Does a 4 step wall flip on a plain wall

Reaction/combat:

• Slices a glass bottle swung at her before it hits to her
• Avoids a knife swing by bending over
• Avoids a baseball bat swing by bending over
• Shoots a man in the head meanwhile jumping, shoots an another man in the head in fraction of a second, than turns 90 degrees and shoots her small flashlight, in the fraction of a second; doing all of this meanwhile being exposed to her continuously and fastly flashing flashlight
• Shots 3 guy in the head before any of them pull their guns and shoot her
• Slashes a mook with wire-attached knife before he pulls a gun, than runs and climbs up to an another mook that just saw her attacking that mook before he was able to pull his gun and shoot her
• Solos more than a dozen of Frank D'Amico's armed man in narrow corridor with guns by only using two pistol; shoots down 3 of the man before the said mans start to shoot their guns, than aim-dodges some gunfire, than before they start to shoot their weapons again she kicks a guy, headshots a guy that was behind her meanwhile being in air than headshots an another man, aimdodges gunfire, shot an another man in the head, aim-dodges gunfire, shoots an another man in the head. Meanwhile in a middle of the battle running forward she reloads her guns by throwing two magazine in front of her than just after catching them with her handguns meanwhile they were spinning in air, shoots two guy that were in her sides than just after shots an another guy with a shotgun
• Catches a falling handgun

​

Equipments

Hit-Girl (and Big Daddy before he died) has access to many different firearms and weapons in their house with it's not known how they managed to find all of them. Although it should be noted in standart battles Hit-Girl obviously doesn't use all of them combined and generally stick with her suit, her standart staff, some pistols and rarely other objects like nunchakus. And even in the battles where she is prepared you won't see her carrying dozen different guns with her or something.
Weapons:

• A seperatable staff that has blades on it's both ends (standart weapon)
• A shuriken
• Two butterfly knife her dad gave her in her birthday
• A knife and a Heckler & Koch USP Compact
• a Heckler & Koch USP Compact with a suppressor
• A wire-attached knife
• A Heckler & Koch USP Compact and a SIG-Sauer P232
• Dozens of different firearms ranging from pistols to rifles, as you can see on the walls
  • This includes a bazooka, and also a jetpack with gatling guns on it
  • These were originally Big Daddy's before he death

​
Armor:

• Her suit can take bullets from a handgun

​
Other equipments:

• Nightvision goggles
• Hit-Girl has a kryptonite for emergency situations; no, no, not that green rock that is the counter of Superman. The kryptonite i'm mentioning is a small, continuously and fastly flashing flashlight that can be mounted on guns, which prevents her oppenents from attacking because of the flash
• Has a suitcase that has 3 million dollar in it

​

Other

Intelligence:

• Dresses like a regular girl so that she could trick Frank D'Amico's man into think that she is just a regular girl
• Seperates the flashlight that was mounted into her gun than puts it into a random shelves, which tricks mooks into thinking she was behind the said shelves

​
Skill:

• Hit-Girl swinging a butterfly knife, 2
• Does a backflip kick
• Can use her double bladed staff well
• Throws a butterfly knife to a man
• Headshots a guy, than shoots two production lights
• Kills a man by throwing two kitchen knife to him
• Can accurately shoot people with a handgun
• Shoots her own small flashlight from tens of feet away in fraction of a second despite getting continuously exposed to it's flashing (Go to 29. second)
• Throws a wire attached knife to a man's wrist, than with the said wire attached knife she makes the guy shoot himself with his own gun
• Can accurately shoot people with her two pistols and also running and jumping around

​
Other:

• Knows the butterfly knive her dad gave were made in Flippino, knows which gun AR-15 is lighter small version caliber version of, knows John Woo's first feature film
• Can drive cars

​

Kick Ass 2

Physicals

​
Strength
Striking Strength:

• Beats the shit out of 4 thugs with a nunchaku, kicks the said nunchaku with enough force to send it to one of the thug's face, releasing blood out of his face and knocking him out to possibly kill him
• Effortlessly kicks a man in the face strong enough to send him multiple feet away, shattering front window of a car, doing all of this meanwhile being on top a moving van and not being on her feet
• Kicks the backdoor of a van to the back of guy strong enough to drop him off the van
• Knocks The Tumor to the ground with a pistol whip
• Stabs through Black Death's eye and sphenoid bone with ease by redirecting Black Death's own finger to his eye, spurting some blood
  • Black Death is a boxer
• Blocks a hit from Mother Russia, stops Mother Russia's arm with her hand
  • Mother Russia Respect Thread
• [ADRENALINE] Hurts Mother Russia by hitting her stomach, slashes her legs with glass shards, stabs Mother Russia in the back and stomach with glass shards, cuts Mother Russia's wrist armor (you can see blood came from her arms), than stabs Mother Russia with more glass shards
  • Mother Russia Respect Thread

Striking Strength (her signature weapon a seperatable staff with blades on it's both ends):

• Stabs through a man's foot and also propably partially ground given how he wasn't able to escape after Hit-Girl did that
• Chops a man's hand off clean

Physical Strength:

• Puts Kick Ass in an armbar
• Effortlessly pulls her staff out of the guy's foot she stabbed meanwhile said person wasn't able to do the same thing despite trying for half a minute
• Hangs on to the top of a moving van by putting 3 of her fingers inside of bullet holes on the van, doing all of this despite the driver moving the van erratically
• Holds onto the side of a van
• Effortlessly disarms Black Death, Black Death couldn't show resistance againist Hit Girl redirecting his finger and hand to his eye
  • Black Death is a boxer
• Temporarily ties up with Mother Russia than puts her in an armbar. But Mother Russia gets rid of it by biting Hit-Girl's leg. Also should be noted that during majority of their fight Mother Russia was clearly superior to Hit-Girl in strength to some extend, at least before Hit-Girl get amped with adrenaline

​
Durability
Blunt force:

• A grenade exploding close to her flings her away with enough force to shatter the arm of a small statue. This temporarily knocked her our
• Gets a backhand from Mother Russia with enough force to lift her off the ground, gets punched in the face by Mother Russia, gets kicked by Mother Russia with enough force to getting launched several yards away (i already posted Mother Russia respect thread twice so don't wait for me to do it third time)
• Gets hit in the face by Mother Russia twice, than gets flipped to ground by her
• Gets thrown through a large glass table by Mother Russia
• Gets strangled between Mother Russia's legs
• [ADRENALINE] No sells getting punched in the face twice by Mother Russia

Piercing Damage:

• She herself doesn't have any notable resistance to piercing damage, but she still retains her suit from the first movie, which has shown to be able to take shots from certain handguns

​
Speed/Agility
Movement/Agility:

• Climbs like ten meters or more by using rectangle pipe on it to enter her room from the window than lays on the bed and covers herself with the quilt, doing all of it in seconds
• Does some front handsprings, does some back handsprings, does a no-handed cartwheel
• Somehow catches up a moving van
• Does a backroll meanwhile being on a moving van, does a wheelchair meanwhile being on a moving van
• Does a 4 step wall flip on a plain wall
• [ADRENALINE] Moves much faster than glass shards falling

Reaction/Combat:

• Blocks a hit from a thug. Attacks thugs faster than they can react
• Rolls around on the top of a van without getting shot even once from one of the mooks inside of the van shooting the top of a van with an AK contiunously. Meanwhile doing that at some point she falls from the top of the van but manages to hold onto the said van's side
• Aim dodges a pistol shot
• [ADRENALINE] Throws shards of glass into air, than pick up some of the falling shards of glass and stab Mother Russia several times before she could react and most of the shards would hit on the ground

​

Equipment

Just like i said before, Hit-Girl has access to many weapons and more, whatever most of the time she doesn't pick up anything beyond her suit, her bladed staff and some pistols in standart fights. Whatever she obviously can use more when the situation needs them.
​
Weapons:

• A seperatable staff that has blades on it's both ends (standart weapon)
• A nunchaku
• A glock 17
• Many different variety of weapons; pistols, submachine guns, assault rifles, tonfas, katanas, other melee weapons, bows, crossbows, etc. during training Kick Ass she shots him with a SIG-sauer P230
  • The armor and sniper rifle of Big Daddy is also here
• Two SIG-sauer P230s
• Thrown knives

​
Armor:

• She still retains her bulletproof suit from original Kick Ass movie

​
Vehicles:

• Has a purple-colored motorcycle, and a purple colored motorcycle helmet

​
Other:

• "Last resort:" 2 syringes that has adrenaline inside of it
  • During her battle with Mother Russia Hit-Girl used one of them, which increased her strength, durability (or at least pain tolerance) and gave her a massive speed boost
• Sick Stick: A military device that can give target diarrhea and cause them rapidly shit and puke. According to Hit-Girl herself this device was originally created for crown control, but later it get deemed as "too severe"

​

Other

Intelligence:

• During the van fight she holds onto the side of a van in a way no one would see her, when the mook with AK goes to look if she dropped or not she kicks the backdoor off the van and causes the dude to fall out of the car
• Takes an adrenaline syringe, than acts like she was going to stab Mother Russia with it, which leads her to believe that the syringe is not adrenaline but rather something dangerous, which causes her to stab the needle to Hit-Girl, injecting her with adrenaline

​
Skill:

• Puts Kick Ass in an armbar
• Precisely swings around a nunchaku and uses it to beat the shit out of 4 thugs
• Does some martial arts moves
• Shoots several mooks in the head. The said mooks were inside of the jeep meanwhile Hit-Girl was on top of it so somehow she managed accurately headshots this guys without seeing them
• Temporarily ties up with Mother Russia than puts her in an armbar

​
Other:

• Can draw a motorcycle even at high speeds
• Can headshot people without seeing them
• Made The Tumor talk about where the Motherfucker is and what he is planning by threatening Tumor to make him eat his own dick
• Knows russian

About to just up and walk out of that place. Grab my jar of Working Hands cream and with a song in my heart, maybe even on my tounge, 🎶 take this job annnd shove it 🎶 bid my farewells to basically no one and move on. Plenty of people I'd miss, we don't see one another outside of work so it wouldn't exactly make a difference if I said goodbye or not, so yea maybe just quit and leave without an explanation. Even though I've offered plenty of explanations as to what....worried that this job is going to put my run of stable months into jeopardy.
🎶 this must just be like living in paradise and I don't wannnna go home🎶 if you say so, Mr. Lee Roth. It's a good song though, put that one on loop a few times yesterday at work. Attempt to balance the scales a little. But that particular tune is double-edged, in a way. Mostly because I could add in my own lyrics "this job really sucks ass and I wannnna go home, grab my hand cream exit stage left alonnne". I'm so tired of working with other people. Not saying I'm perfect, but I certainly try to work as a team and keep things fair. Been at this job for over 2 1/2 years, steady full-time and I've never been written up for anything. Friday, I called my boss out. Again. She was sitting and talking with my coworker for a half an hour, while the rest of us were working. Something about a hamster, how my coworkers fiance wants her to get rid of it, ya know important work related stuff as she sits in a chair sipping on an iced coffee. So I said something to her, my boss, and she said that they were only there for 10 minutes and they were working while talking. Oh, right, I'm imaginig things, again. Silly me. Get tired of it, tired of where I've put myself in life.
And I guess that's when and where other thoughts can slip in, like just quit take the summer off or something and maybe enjoy where I'm at now. But this city is boring and I'd probably just end up sitting around with my thoughts, which could then lead me back to....this must be just like living in paradise. Life is really good right now. Calm and quiet. But that job is triggering me.
Not exactly sure what to do with myself. Now that I'm here, continuously stable. Every day seems a little more....funky-fresh copacetic. Just not sure what to do with this, stay "healed" and don't change much, or look to head into a new direction in life, look to the future. But there's something that's still here and as much as I'd like to expand on it, cannot. In summary, I have looked at the future and it's me leaving...oh well.
Hadn't listened to 80's music in forever while at work. David Lee Roth with paradise, Tina Turner strongly stating that we don't need another hero, Tears For Fears suggesting that everyone wants to rule the world, Phil Collins telling Billy to not lose his number, and so on. Pretty crazy what year it is, the 80's were kinda a while back. Still feel like a kid in a lot of ways even though I've breached 43. So that's kinda cool?

A re-post since my last one was accidentally deleted.
My 1st time writing like this. No where near as good as the others here. But thought it would be fun to try! And now, the story of a simp...
"It's not fair, mom. Why is Dad pushing that I have to do my own chores when Davey wants to help!!"
Ashley Smith stood in their suburban family's living room with her hand on her hip and the most adorable pout. She is a senior in high school this year and the most beautiful woman in the world, well, to me anyway. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm David Pousey. Same grade as Ashley, and hopelessly in love with her since 8th grade!
What started as a crush has really blossomed into true love. I'm just uh, waiting until that's reciprocated. But I can't rush something like this. Ashley is GORGEOUS. 5'10", long brunette hair, perfectly tan skin, and thin but with the most perfect breasts that draw stares and envy wherever she goes. I used to be tongue tied and have butterflies in my tummy from being in the same room with her. Well, I guess I still do. But I’m getting better!
There were times where I would be so nervous I couldn't speak.That was until I won her affection that fateful afternoon she "forgot" we had homework due:
I took my assigned seat in class 5 minutes before the bell rang. By some miracle I was assigned the seat directly behind Ashley. It was maddening to be so close, I could smell her perfume/scent. That alone would often have me close enough to the edge where I would run off and take a “bathroom break” after class. I somehow was able to get good grades by excess studying, despite spending most classes daydreaming about wedding bells in chapels. Mr. and Mrs. Ashley Smith has such a nice ring to it!
"Shit. I completely forgot the assignment was due today. I went over to Jason's last night and totally spaced". Ashley was talking to her best friend, Jessica, before class started.
"Yea, I bet you 'spaced', spaced those legs out real wide" Jessica said with a wink and a laugh.
Ashley giggled back. "Seriously! Miss Stevens is gonna totally flunk me. My dad is gonna kill me"
I mustered all the courage. This was my big shot. I had sat behind these 2 all year and never managed to make a peep. This was it. The moment that changed everything.
I stuttered out, "You, you, uh, um, oh excuse me, uh, you can have my h-homework..."
They both looked back at me, as if just noticing I was sitting there for the 1st time.
"Hi, h-hi, A-Ashley. You can um, you can take my essay. I actually have a good average in th-this class, so 1 assignment is no b-bother. Really".
Jessica's signature grin crept across her face. "Your just gonna give her your homework? Her name isn't even printed at the top, idiot".
Ashley just sat there taking me in. She looked at me after Jessica's question , waiting how I would answer. She had the most adorable furrowed brow.
"I, Oh, I, um, have it saved on my flashdrive h-here. I can run to the school library and update the names q-quick, um, you know, if you want me to?"
Jessica put her palm to her forehead and could no longer contain her contempt with a slight laugh and a groan, “Oh god… where do you find these guys, ash?"
Ashley's questioned look morphed into 1 of pure relief. "Aw stop it Jess! He's being sweet. That would be great, uh, Daniel, right?"
"It-It's um, uh, D-David."
"Oh right! That's it, Davey!
I cringed inwardly. I didn't like that variant of my name so much. Coming from her mouth it didn't sound so bad though.
Ahley looked at me with an expectant look. "Well, you know class is starting soon..."
Jessica leaned in. "Yea better scurry off, simp. The library is across the building."
There was no defending me from Jessica this time. Ashley just looked at me and gently nodded along.
And with that, I of course flung out of my seat and went to run to the library. Of course, in my flustered state, I tripped over Ashley's bookbag as I was leaving and tumbled to the floor. The whole class laughed, maybe Jessica the hardest, but not my Ashley. I looked up at her from my position on the floor, and she just smiled and shooed me off with her hand. But she did it with a smile and a nod. It may have been mixed with pity, but it made me feel like no matter what happens, no matter the humiliation, or sacrificing my own grade to help hers, it was all going to be okay. As long as Ashley was happy, it was all worth it!
And that day started our friendship. I was always at her beck and call. Somewhere along the way I even managed to suck up to her and blur the lines of our friendship, no, we weren't in a "relationship" exactly. Actually, pretty far from it unfortunately, from a classic boyfriend/girlfriend. But something else entirely. But if I play my cards right, she might start seeing me as boyfriend material, then maybe, even husband material...
"It's BULLSHIT!" Ashley blurted out.
I was ripped back to the present. Ashley argued with her mother in front of me.
"Language, young lady!"
Ashley's mom, Mrs. Smith, was another knockout. At 45, though her hair was lighter, she pretty much just looked like an older version of Ashley. She had gained a slight “fuller" look in her older years, but to me it was as if it pretty much only padded only the most desirable areas. It was very clear that I guess a large bust runs in the family. The whole family included them, their charming and confident father, Mr. Smith, and Ashley's sister, Liz, who was a freshman in our school. While Ashley and I were 18.
"You know how your father is, dear. He's just old fashioned. He grew up doing his chores, and now he wants you to build character by doing them yourself."
"Building character, Mom? Seriously?" Ashley and her mom would sometimes get into small arguments like this, but it was never serious. They had a playful, sisterly energy. But I never knew what to do when I was over during one. When I felt weird or awkward, I found the safest bet was to just stand off to the side with my eyes down until I was called.
"Plus, you KNOW Davey loves this shit. You should see him when me and Jess eat lunch at the cafeteria! He jumps as soon as Jess snaps her fingers and Davey throws everything out. The practically sweeps up our crumbs! We don't even have to lift a finger! It’s awesome. Plus he loves it!"
My therapist says I'm a people pleaser. I'm working on it.
“He does not ‘love’ it, young lady! The poor thing is scared half to death of your little partner in crime. He’d probably eat your trash if Jessica gave him a stern look!”
“No, it’s true Mom. You love cleaning and shit, right, Davey?” Ashley looked over at me expectantly.
I started to mumble out a response of “Er, well, I love being helpful to-“
"And he's so good at it too!" Ashley cut in, now addressing her mother. I guess my time for contribution was over. "You saw how he got that stain out of your blouse!"
Mrs. Smith addressed me for the 1st time, "Oh, I have to thank you for that Davey! Honestly wine on a white blouse like that! I thought it was destined for the trash! But all it needed was 40 minutes of being locked in the laundry room with you, and you showed that stain who's boss!"
"See! What's the point of me doing some stupid chores if Davey can do it anyway, and I'm no good with that maid stuff anyway!"
I could tell Ashley was winning this arguement. But I wasn't thrilled about trying to be helpful for her referred to as "maid stuff".
"Oh alright", Mrs. Smith relented. "But don't tell your father! Have Davey HELP you with picking up your room. And I do mean HELP. I don't want to have the poor thing on his hands and knees in there while you kick your feet up!"
"Yayyyy, yes Mom! I promise!" She ran over and gave her a quick hug. It was a sweet moment. I usually keep my eyes down, but looked up just in time to see them embrace. As they hugged I saw the slight shifting in their breasts as they smooshed together in their hug. I shifted in place as my small erection pushed up against my bikini brief underwear.
"Thanks Mom!" Ashley walked toward the stairs as she called over her shoulder "Come, Davey!"
Almost as if a trance I went to follow her upstairs at her command when Mrs. Smith called me back. She was now sitting on her expansive sofa with her feet up and sipping a glass of wine.
"Davey, make sure my little brat of a daughter actually helps you this time! I'm not trying to raise some slob!" she said with a smile.
"Oh- oh,, um, yes, Ma'am. I-I'll be sure to um, well, yes Ma'am, Miss Smith, Ma'am.
Mrs. Smith chuckled, mostly to herself.
"Such a sweet boy... you know between you and me there's a few more items that need tending to in the laundry room. Don't tell Mr. Smith, but it would be great if I had someone to really put some effort and elbow grease into cleaning those more annoying stains. Nothing major; just some of Liz's soccer shorts, grass stains, Mr. smith has some stains on his underwear I’d rather not touch, oh!, and there was some smudge on one of my tops, not sure what. And seeing as you are here and really you have quite a talent for these domestic things. Honestly, you're going to make some nice man a very nice housewife someday!" Mrs. Smith said with a hearty laugh.
I played along and gave a slight laugh at my expense. "Yes, of course, Mrs. Smith I'll um, I of course can um, help, in any way".
I was hoping to get back home at a normal hour tonight. My parents both work long and late hours, so they are never home, or are sleeping in their bedroom, so they won't notice my absence. But since doing the majority of Ashley's homework, mine has been getting a little neglected. And the thought of getting a decent night's sleep sounded soooo nice. I never realized how much being at someone's constant beck and call would drain me. Oh well, I guess I'll be scrubbing away in the Smith family laundry room instead!
"Such a sweet, sweet boy" Mrs. Smith said as she sat and looked at me shaking her head. It was almost a mix of pity, disbelief and amusement. "Okay, off you go now! I don't need Ash getting mad at me that I kept her little loverboy all to myself", and with that she smiled and looked away, looking to see what was on tv. She was done with me for now.
I scurried upstairs nervous I had spent too long downstairs and Ashley would be upset with me.

Don’t kick me out of the kitchen yet, wait for the soup to be finished before you rate it.
First
Previous
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Memory Transcription Subject: Gillab, Gojid Citizen, Father
Date [Standardized Human Time]: April 3, 2142
Billy refused to leave my side, following behind me almost like a lost child. He had been terrified by his panic attack and said that if he was around me he felt more comfortable. I was beginning to wonder if he had developed some kind of phobia against being left alone, although he claimed that it was just a one-time thing. Still, I would have to be on the lookout for any more panic attacks caused by being left alone. I didn’t want Billy to develop another hurdle to cross, especially one that was caused by me. I would have to find the time to contact Richard privately and explain the situation to him. I should have yesterday, but I had been setting up this meeting instead.
After what Billy said yesterday about meeting my family, I decided to set up a meeting between them. I was certain that Billy and Kirala would get along wonderfully, and Lulaly was sure to cheer him up as well. Plus, Kirala could help Billy understand himself and his emotions, considering that she went through a depressive episode similar to his.
The place we had chosen to meet was a newer place, one meant to bring alien-Human fusion foods to the common passerby. Usually, that kind of food was only for the adventurous or the wealthy, as most Humans tended to stick with what they knew, but Sulolo’s had been doing well enough in its goal. They were making more than enough to keep the lights on, but they hadn’t been able to outcompete the long-time staples that most people were used to. I’m sure that, given enough time, the food will take off in popularity.
I blinked the runaway thought out of my head as I opened the door. I needed to focus, or at least pay attention to my surroundings. Kirala said that she was already there and had picked out a table for us. After a moment of searching, I spotted my wife and my daughter talking with the waitress.
Neither of them noticed me until the waitress left, but once they did I saw them both start to wag their tails. Lulaly hopped out of her chair and rushed up to me, embracing me in an eager hug. After nuzzling me for a second, Lulaly pulled back. “I missed you Dad.”
I couldn’t help but melt. “I missed you too. I want you to tell me all about what’s been happening recently. Every. Little. Detail.”
She giggled as I tapped her on the nose, giving me another, much quicker hug before grabbing me by the hand and leading me to the table. I glanced back as she tugged me along, seeing that Billy was standing awkwardly away from the table, seemingly unsure of how to introduce himself.
“Oh, but before you start, I want to introduce you to someone. Billy, I’d like to introduce you to my wonderful daughter, Lulaly, and my beautiful wife Kirala. Kirala, Lulaly, this is Billy Marsh, the man who saved my life.”
Billy stepped forward hesitantly, the nervous bounce in his leg barely poking through as he extended his hand to Kirala. “H-hello, it’s nice to meet you. Your husband has told me lots about you.”
Kirala shook his hand firmly, giving a small laugh as she did. “All wonderful, I assume?”
Billy smiled nervously and pulled his hand away. “Of course.”
Billy then turned his attention to Lulaly, smiling softly as he spoke. “And he has told me just as many wonderful things about you.”
Lulaly froze, looked him up and down, and spoke without hesitation. “Why are your arms a different color than your face?”
Everyone’s eyes widened in surprise, even if Kirala and I were used to Lulaly’s straightforwardness, I never expected her to ask such a sensitive question immediately. Billy let his mouth hang open for a second before responding slowly. “Well, um, you see, my arms can ever change color. The- they are bionic. Not real. Fake.”
To hammer the point home, Billy pulled his sleeve back, revealing a subtle cut off between the two skin tones. With the sleeves covering the seam where his bionics connected, it was impossible to tell that he even had them. A passive observer would assume that his face just got less sun than his arms, somehow, and continue on.
“When they were put on, they were set to a certain skin tone that matched mine the best. I could go in and have it altered to match my current tone, but that would just be wasted time. I’ve just dealt with slightly different colored arms and no one has really noticed unless I told them they were fake.”
Lulaly puffed her chest out with pride. “I’m just that smart.”
I wagged my tail and guided her back to her seat. “You sure are. Lulaly’s always been ahead of the class in certain subjects. Plus she has always had an eye for detail. She’s a very smart girl, just as smart as the older kids.”
Lulaly hopped into her seat. “I’m smarter than them!”
I placed my hands on my hips in pride. “You sure are.”
Billy and I found our way to our seats and ordered our meals, getting the necessities out of the way before we earnestly started the conversation. I ordered a simple salad made from leaves of various planets, Kirala ordered something more homely, a Human-Gojid style stew, Julaly ordered an exotic-sounding dish from Sillis made with polo fruit, and Billy kept it simple with a mixed vegetable sandwich. I was slightly surprised that no one ordered anything with meat in it, it wasn’t like anyone here still had the cure, but I guess everyone was just wanting to be nice.
Once everything was set in order, Kirala took a sip of her water and started the conversation. “Well Billy, I guess I’ve been wanting to say this for a bit now, but felt like I needed to do this in person. Thank you.”
Billy looked slightly confused. “What for?”
Kirala chuckled. “Well, for saving my husband first off. Even if we had no way of knowing that we were going to meet, had we never did, I feel like my life would have been much worse.”
“Don’t thank me, anyone could have done what I did.”
I shook my head. “I really don’t think they could have. You went through hell to save me, I don’t know a single other person who could do the same.”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me, but I really don’t think it’s true. I am–I was– just a soldier doing my job.”
I glanced at Kirala, giving her a small nod. She returned with one of her own, understanding how similar Billy’s situation was to hers. “I still think you are underselling yourself. You need to give yourself much more credit. You are strong, you did amazing things, you need to recognize that and give yourself credit for them. I know I didn’t, it put me in a very similar situation.”
Billy sighed. “Gillab had told me, but it’s not the same.”
Kirala nodded. “Nothing will be the same. No one else is you. Your experiences are unique only to you and you will have a wholly unique way of coming to terms with them. But there are people with similar experiences, people who can help you find the right path to take to find your own way.”
Kirala stared at me for a moment. “Gillab was that person for me. He was the first person I met who understood me. He helped me find my footing, brought color back into my life, and supported me through any relapses I had. Gillab is trying to be that person for you too. If he’s not, and you aren’t comfortable enough with him to talk about it, that’s fine, but let him help you find someone who you feel you can talk to.”
Billy paused for a moment. “Gillab is… He’s… It’s not that I don’t trust Gillab, but I can't talk about it with him. I don’t know why, but, it’s like, if I really get into, I don’t know, I think I’m going to push him away.”
I leaned forward. “Billy, there is nothing you could do to push me away. But if you really can’t feel comfortable telling me, let’s look for a therapist. We could even ask Richard to help us find one.”
Billy bit his lip for a second before sighing. “I don’t know. I-I’ll think about it.”
Warmth welled up in my heart. Hearing Billy take another step on the path to getting help would always make my day, even if he was just thinking about it. I don’t know if I understood why he couldn’t talk about his issues with me, but at the same time, I was thankful that he was going to a professional. Even if I wouldn’t admit it to him now, I always felt like I was inadequately prepared to help him.
Just as Billy finished speaking, the waitress brought us our food. As the food was laid out in front, I could see Billy smiling softly in his seat. As the food was dug into and our first bites were taken, I watched everyone gauge just how good the food was. It seemed that everyone was enjoying their meal, even the ever-picky Lulaly.
Kirala was the first to speak, wiping away some broth with a napkin as she did. “Wow, you have to try this stew, it’s really good.”
I finished a bite from my salad. “Is it? It looks pretty average to me.”
“Well, looks can be deceiving, you know.”
I chuckled and wagged my tail. “Oh, I know all about deceiving looks.”
Billy smiled. “Why do I get the impression you are talking about me?”
I wagged my tail as I speared more leaves. “I have no idea what you are talking about. Clearly, there is a misunderstanding, right Lulaly?”
My daughter looked up from her plate, mouth full of fruit and fork still gripped tightly in her claw. “Huh?”
“Oh, nothing. Say, how has school been going recently?”
Lulaly swallowed her bite finally. “It’s been going great! We had a sub… substittoo… Mr. Jenkim wasn’t there yesterday so we had Mrs. Willis instead. She was super nice, she gave us more free time than Mr. Jenkim does."
“That sounds wonderful. Did you have any big tests or projects?”
Julaly thought for a moment. “No. There was a math quiz, but math is easy! Oh, and Jammie came over the other day. We played a lot. Then he went home be-”
Julaly stopped herself in the middle of a sentence, and she only does that when she thinks she might get in trouble or when she sees something she really wants. With the history that Jammie and Julaly had, I was going to guess it was the first one. “Did he hurt himself on your quills again?”
Julaly couldn’t help but smile and look away. “Nooo… Only a little. We were playing tag.”
I wagged my tail and shook my head. “Tag… no wonder.”
Billy found it funny as well, chuckling to himself slightly. “Tag with a Gojid. Hey Gillab, that kinda reminds me of what you did back on the Cradle.”
I cocked my head to the side in confusion. “What? Be scared of you?”
“No, after that. I was feeling down one day, and you decided that the best course of action was to snuggle up to me.”
Kirala nearly shot water out of her nose, cough-laughing as she reached for a napkin. “You did what? Why haven’t I heard of this?”
I raised my paws in defense. “Okay, so, at the time I didn’t realize that cuddling to Humans was much more intimate. I just wanted to cheer him up, is all.”
Billy smiled. “You could have asked before you did though. I nearly impaled myself on your spines when I woke up.”
I bobbed my head back and forth. “Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. Anyways, enough about that, Aliert and Tintak both want to meet you again before they have to leave, I was hoping that we could meet them in the park again soon.”
Billy nodded. “That works with me. I feel like I need to apologize to them for how I acted last time I talked to them. If possible I would like to see Kertava as well.”
I winced at her name. “Uhm, Kertava might not remember you. She uhm… She had a serious brain injury in that tower and lost a lot of her memories. Right now she’s in a mental hospital, and it looks like she’s getting better, but she might not even remember you.”
Billy’s face grew somber. “Ah, I see. I’d still like to at least see her, maybe it might help spark some memories.”
I nodded. “If you want to visit her, you should talk to Aliert, he’s the one who visits her the most. I only visit sometimes, and Tintak has only gone to see her once.”
Billy nodded. “I guess that means I really should apologize.”
The rest of the meal went by smoothly, filled with casual talk about anything that came to mind. Billy revealed further knowledge of potato lore by describing all of the ways that a potato could be cooked. I never knew that a singular, misshapen root could be so versatile. By the end of the meal, Billy’s face seemed to be glowing, at least compared to what it looked like earlier. He had gotten comfortable around my family, letting himself speak freely.
Eventually, the bills were delivered and our conversation came to an end. Everyone gathered around the entrance for one final goodbye. However, Julaly’s attention was focused across the street on something I couldn’t find. I placed a claw on her head and started my goodbye. But before I could start, Billy started his own goodbye.
“Tonight was really fun. I’m glad to finally meet you Kirala, and you too, Lulaly.”
Instead of responding like she normally would, she only nodded her head. I glanced to her, trying to figure out what had her attention, but conceded when all I saw was a sidewalk.
Kirala stuck out her claw. “It was wonderful to finally meet the man who saved my husband's life.”
Billy smiled. “I was just doing my job. I’m just happy that you are all here for me. Oh, and, uh, Gillab? You don’t have to stay with me anymore. I’m not going to ever even think of suicide again. I owe you a world of thanks for pulling me back from that edge. If we hadn’t met by chance at the memorial, I wouldn’t be here.”
Billy’s face slowly turned melancholic, simultaneously smiling and crying. “I’m- I’m so thankful for you.”
I let go of Lulaly and opened my arms to hug him. “I was just doing what any good friend should.”
Billy ignored my quills and gave me a tight hug, slowly wobbling back and forth. As Billy hugged me tightly, he continued to thank me, each time with more emotion put into it. This was the culmination of my time with Billy. I had pulled him out of that very deep and impossibly dark pit in his own mind and showed him that he had made a difference. He was anything but useless, and even if there would be lingering trauma for some time to come, he could face it head-on with the help of everyone who he has helped in the past.
But as I pulled away and reached my claw back for Lulaly, I noticed she wasn’t there. I turned around to find her, only to have my heart plummet in my chest. She had run onto the road carelessly, and there was a car hurtling toward her.
Kirala noticed it at the same time, screaming Lulaly’s name in fear as I tried to force my body forward, but all the yell did was make her stop in the middle of the road and notice the danger she was in. She was frozen in fear, and there was nothing I could do to get to her quickly enough.
As the worst possibilities raced through my mind, I barely registered a flash of color to my left. Billy raced onto the street as bystanders finally turned to see what the commission was. With his bionic leg, he was easily able to outrun me, but it didn’t seem like it was going to be enough. Even as the car slammed on the brakes, it was still screeching towards my daughter.
At the last moment, Billy leapt forward and tackled Lulaly, shielding her with his own body. The car slammed into them, launching them down the street with a sickening thud. Billy held Lulaly tightly to his chest as they rolled down the road, stopping a great distance away from the now-stopped car.
I blinked out of my stunned state and turned back to Kirala. “CALL AN AMBLANCE!”

Hey, I am a pretty recent Cyberpunk fan (on my second playthrough as female V rn) and I got a lot of love for the fixers in the game. But my personal favourite, at least in terms of actual character, has always been Reyes, a.k.a the El Capitan.
Fixers have always been the varied bunch. Usually just the cold and calculated bunch (Wakako, Mr. Hands, Rogue) with a little dash of insanity at points (looking at you Padre). There are few who seem to be working for the people’s interests (such as Dakota) but mostly it is about keeping balance and lining pockets.
And that’s what I find so special about El Capitan as a character and fixer. He is a clever man, but just hides it behind the sleazy car salesman persona (which I always find hilarious ) and usually is able to lighten the mood whenever a new gig of his pops up at Santo Domingo.
But beyond just being funny, Reyes genuinely seems to have the interests of his community in mind. In fact, most of his work goes towards actively trying to improve the conditions of his neighbourhood. And some gigs, like the one with the officer in the asylum, shows his sympathetic and rather human side, which is rare to see with most fixers in the game.
Hell his biggest side mission involves you robbing a supply truck from Arasaka so that Reyes can give the kids proper free healthcare. If thats not kindhearted, I don’t know what is.
Of course, I am not well versed in the actual Cyberpunk lore, and there are hints in game that gives idea of Reyes past being slightly darker than some might think. But the impression I always got from Reyes was that of a guy who behind his persona, was a guy trying to do something good in his own bizarre way. And I always thought that was cool.

Good morning,
38-year-old Scottish man here. Physical education teacher – if you need help with your forward rolls, I'm your man.
I have two dogs who I photograph far too often; they are getting fed up with the constant posing. I'll be sending unsolicited dog photos to all potential friends. Come for the dogs... and stay, for the dogs. And possibly the occasional picture of the stunning Scottish landscape... featuring a dog or two.
It's a beautiful, sunny Scottish morning. This weekend has been the hottest of the year at a WHOPPING 23°C. Feel free to mock us and tell me that that's not hot for you... it's all relative and what you're acclimatised to, and we Scots aren't acclimatised to anything above a chill. We are melting but tanning! A change from the usual peely-wally skin.
I just got back from a hike up a couple of the low, rolling Scottish hills early this morning with my dogs. Being a PE teacher, staying active is important to me. When I'm not out with the dogs, I like to get to the gym a few days a week. I'm not looking to compete in Mr. Universe, but I am trying to keep love handles at bay and prevent my metabolism from taking early retirement.
I write. I read and I write. I think to be a good writer, you need to read, expand your vocabulary and ideas – they go hand in hand. I've published one book, and I'm writing another. I'll be the first to admit it's not Shakespeare or Dickens, but it's a creative outlet, and if I say so myself... it was bloody good!
If you can hold a conversation, like dogs, and enjoy a creative hobby, I'd love to see if we can be friends. If you read this and think it's a bit long – we ain't compatible as I'm not a "hi how's u" person. If you're after someone really cool, that's not me either. I'm not saying I'm old or boring, I'm just saying that my dinner time and bed time are getting dangerously close to each other.
If you want to ask about Outlander... no one in Scotland has ever watched it. Seriously, no one!

Good morning,
38-year-old Scottish man here. Physical education teacher – if you need help with your forward rolls, I'm your man.
I have two dogs who I photograph far too often; they are getting fed up with the constant posing. I'll be sending unsolicited dog photos to all potential friends. Come for the dogs... and stay, for the dogs. And possibly the occasional picture of the stunning Scottish landscape... featuring a dog or two.
It's a beautiful, sunny Scottish morning. This weekend has been the hottest of the year at a WHOPPING 23°C. Feel free to mock us and tell me that that's not hot for you... it's all relative and what you're acclimatised to, and we Scots aren't acclimatised to anything above a chill. We are melting but tanning! A change from the usual peely-wally skin.
I just got back from a hike up a couple of the low, rolling Scottish hills early this morning with my dogs. Being a PE teacher, staying active is important to me. When I'm not out with the dogs, I like to get to the gym a few days a week. I'm not looking to compete in Mr. Universe, but I am trying to keep love handles at bay and prevent my metabolism from taking early retirement.
I write. I read and I write. I think to be a good writer, you need to read, expand your vocabulary and ideas – they go hand in hand. I've published one book, and I'm writing another. I'll be the first to admit it's not Shakespeare or Dickens, but it's a creative outlet, and if I say so myself... it was bloody good!
If you can hold a conversation, like dogs, and enjoy a creative hobby, I'd love to see if we can be friends. If you read this and think it's a bit long – we ain't compatible as I'm not a "hi how's u" person. If you're after someone really cool, that's not me either. I'm not saying I'm old or boring, I'm just saying that my dinner time and bed time are getting dangerously close to each other.
If you want to ask about Outlander... no one in Scotland has ever watched it. Seriously, no one!

Good morning,
38-year-old Scottish man here. Physical education teacher – if you need help with your forward rolls, I'm your man.
I have two dogs who I photograph far too often; they are getting fed up with the constant posing. I'll be sending unsolicited dog photos to all potential friends. Come for the dogs... and stay, for the dogs. And possibly the occasional picture of the stunning Scottish landscape... featuring a dog or two.
It's a beautiful, sunny Scottish morning. This weekend has been the hottest of the year at a WHOPPING 23°C. Feel free to mock us and tell me that that's not hot for you... it's all relative and what you're acclimatised to, and we Scots aren't acclimatised to anything above a chill. We are melting but tanning! A change from the usual peely-wally skin.
I just got back from a hike up a couple of the low, rolling Scottish hills early this morning with my dogs. Being a PE teacher, staying active is important to me. When I'm not out with the dogs, I like to get to the gym a few days a week. I'm not looking to compete in Mr. Universe, but I am trying to keep love handles at bay and prevent my metabolism from taking early retirement.
I write. I read and I write. I think to be a good writer, you need to read, expand your vocabulary and ideas – they go hand in hand. I've published one book, and I'm writing another. I'll be the first to admit it's not Shakespeare or Dickens, but it's a creative outlet, and if I say so myself... it was bloody good!
If you can hold a conversation, like dogs, and enjoy a creative hobby, I'd love to see if we can be friends. If you read this and think it's a bit long – we ain't compatible as I'm not a "hi how's u" person. If you're after someone really cool, that's not me either. I'm not saying I'm old or boring, I'm just saying that my dinner time and bed time are getting dangerously close to each other.
If you want to ask about Outlander... no one in Scotland has ever watched it. Seriously, no one!

Hi, everyone!
First and foremost, healing is not linear, it is a freaking zigzag; it has ups and downs and maybe some loops here and there. After more than four years after my first symptom, I can proudly say, I do know more about my body than I ever did, and I feel so much better, and finally can eat whatever I want.
breakfast plate!
My diagnosis was erosive gastritis, with no H. pylori. I could not sleep, drinking water was equal pain, lost weight, was anemic, suffered from the biggest reflux (you can never understand how debilitating it is unless you've had it).
So, what really helped me?
I was on Proton Pump Inhibitors for a two months or so. I was never this miserable, but I guess, they were also the ones that helped the erosions to heal. During that time my diet was the blandest diet in the entire universe consisting of lots of starches, unsweetened almond milk, banana, rice, boiled chicken breast, salmon, and steamed zucchini. And, IMPORTANT: no UPFs. I was strictly following the guidance from my doctor. Plus, not eating late at night, not sitting down after a meal and taking a short walk after every meal.
But I was not getting better. So, there had to be something else, I thought I'm failing at it, I'm doing it all freaking wrong. 10 months in, I felt like shit.
Then I got really pissed off.
And thanks to so much information we constantly give to the Mr. Internet, I started seeing advertisements on things, apps, supplements, etc., I was recommended a bunch of meditation YouTube videos, and breathing techniques, books, and apps.
Every morning I used to wake up and listen to Emmy Meli's song I Am Woman on YouTube, and dance till I started crying uncontrollably. And then I sit there and cry. Then I used to stand tall in front of the mirror and say affirmations.
Ha! Miracle didn't happen.
But then there was this ad for a meditation and self-reflection app. That was a real turning point in my healing journey. I even bought a one-year Premium after a free trial. This app has a different approach to chronic pain. It taught me to see every pain, symptom, and uncomfortable sensation with curiosity. Not to run away from it, not to fight it, not to hide from it. To look at it with curiosity, and try to figure out what my body's trying to tell me. And, boy, oh, boy, it was trying to tell me so many things.
So, I quit my stressful job. Sayonara! No more.
Then my daily routine was to wake up, listen to one of those meditations from the app, and do the exercise of self-reflection, f.e. writing a letter to myself about how I'm feeling or my memories from childhood, during one of those exercises I've actually figured out my reflux cause. It was related to a traumatic experience. I still sometimes re-read that notebook I've filled in throughout that time, and see how much I've gone through and how stronger I'm now. (If Google does not help you to find that app, write me a DM, and I can share it with you all, the trial is free, and I noticed changes in just a few days!). It kind of makes me tear up a bit writing this. Just know, you are not alone, and you WILL get better.
But now, let's get back to the healing. Once I started feeling less pain after eating, I had to sort of domesticate food again. I was so scared of trying to add new foods to my daily routine. I had conditioned myself that food = pain. And whenever new food DID result in pain, I was like, 'I freaking knew it.' But I had to take control into my hands and agree with myself that some foods will still cause me pain, meaning that for now, I can not enjoy them, but there should be plenty of foods I can enjoy - and they will not cause me pain or harm.
After more than 1,5 years of constant pain, ups and downs, I was so determined to heal. I read a bunch of researches about the gut and brain connection. I started introducing probiotics and prebiotics (all foods that have fiber, fruits, nuts, veggies, herbs) to my body. I figured, the best way to feel good is to eat good. I started eating yoghurt with berries, started eating sauerkraut, and all kinds of fermented foods (LOOK OUT FOR SUGAR, you don't need added sugar in fermented foods), started fermenting my non-spicy vegan kimchi or even cashews into a beautiful spread.
And I still continue doing that up to this day, I've even created an instagram profile to show people ways of how they can eat healthier with minimal efforts and feel better. My community is still very small, but I'm so happy to be able to inspire people not to lose hope. Just so you know, our bodies are our temples. DM me and I can share the IG profile as well, I post there every single day and you will see a bunch of inspiration recipe ideas to try out. You are not alone in this.
So, the things you need to know:

• Everyone's healing is different: IT'S A ZIGZAG NOT A STRAIGHT LINE.
• Every uncomfortable sensation, every pain, every "something's wrong" is our bodies trying to tell us something. Instead of running away from it, listen to it with curiosity. Get the most beautiful notebook, call it "MY HEALING" and every day write down how you feel: set a timer for 7 mins to write how you feel (freestyle, whatever comes to your mind), 3 minutes to read it, and 5 mins to write an answer to what you just wrote, imagine, as if you just got this from your friend.)
• Continue doing activities you love or find new interesting hobbies (I used to go on walks or search for treasures at the second hand stores).
• Stay away from ULTRA PROCESSED FOODS, ALCOHOL, COFFEE, MATCHA.
• Eat bland until you feel better. Then, start incorporating foods. Fall in love with fermented foods. Know that some might hurt you, but you might as well find the ones that will not cause you any pain.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU GOT THIS.

For context:

• Male, 37yo, Romania, very anxious, health anxiety, hospital phobias from traumatic childhood experiences

I want to share my experience through all this journey in the hopes that it will help other anxious people. I read many posts and comments before my surgery from this community and some helped me a little bit. I will write a longer post detailing all my experience. Please note that I am living in Romania, Europe and some of the things are different compared to USA, also my english is not that great.
In first week of April I did a random ultrasound checkup and the doctor said: “OHhhh what did we find here?”. I felt suddenly like my heart would explode. I asked what ? he turned the screen towards me “See those tiny white dots? Those are stones in the GB.” Ok…and what does that mean? “Gotta take the GB out!”. Out how? “Surgery”. Instant panic attack. Hyperventilating, felt like i was gonna vomit, pass out, shit myself, drop dead all at the same time.
After a few days of researching everything regarding GB i switched to a very strict low-fat diet. Middle of April went to a gastroenterologist for another ultrasound. Doc confirmed tiny stones in GB and said “Many people make stones in the GB during their lifetime, but not all of them turn symptomatic. As long as you don’t have any symptoms we don’t talk about surgery. Carry on with your life, eat healthy, exercise, avoid fats and control your stress levels”.
That calmed me down for a while. Said to myself “If i have to eat low-fat diet forever, so be it. Anything to avoid surgery”. That worked fine until Friday, 10th of May when I ordered some food at home (grilled chicken breast with hummus). The food had a bit too much olive oil. I thought “well it’s not that much, ill just scrape it away on the side of the plate” knowing very well have much fat is in olive oil.
6-7 hours later I started getting stomach pain. Felt like an ache, between xiphoid bone all the way to the belly button. I didn’t have any pain in the right side under rib cage, or shoulder or back. But it got worse and worse. Vomited furiously several times. It lasted from 10PM until 6AM and it was the worst pain of my life. No other pain was even close to this. Absolutely nothing helped, no yoga pose, no ammount of walking, no pain killers nothing. The only thing that calmed me down was that I took a hot bath around 5AM and while in the water the pain started to go away. I kinda new in the back of my mind that it’s probably the GB but I kept hoping that maybe it is just a bad experience with food and stomach is upset.
Next day Saturday 11th of May when I woke up I didn’t have much pain. Being the self-proclaimed google doctor, I layed down, took a deep breath while pushing with 2 fingers underneath the right rib cage. Felt pain when inhaling, meaning Murphy sign positive. Started to freak out. Did more hot baths and during the day i kept a 2L plastic bottle filled with hot water on the GB area. Was feeling ok, pain was 2/10 but only when inhaling. Towards the evening urine started to get really dark and my eyes were getting yellow.
Sunday 12th of May. Woke up, urine still very dark, eyes even more yellow. The fear and anxiety was massive. Called surgeon and he said “Most likely there is a stone blocked somewhere, we gotta take it out with ERCP and only after that we can do surgery. You should go to the ER”. LIterally my worst fears confirmed. I was extremely scared about the ERCP procedure, i just don’t want someone shoving down a tube down my throat all the way to the bile ducts.
Went to ER, massive panic attack. I literally thought i will die. They did a lot of tests, 2 sets of ultrasounds from different doctors to confirm. What they noticed was that the CBD (Common bile duct) was narrow and that means the stone has passed. If there is a stone trapped, the CBD expands in size, the body trying to make room for the stone to pass. That was some sort of relief. After all the tests and bloodwork (bilirubin was high 4.5), i was waiting for surgeons to come and talk to me. That was the highest peak of anxiety. I felt quite ok at that moment, no pain and naively was hoping for some medicine and to be allowed to go home.
2 surgeons came to me: “Mr. X? We would want to admit you to hospital and give you surgery to take the GB out”. There are no words to describe the terror I was feeling in that moment. Completely terrified is an understatement. I said ok knowing that if I go home i’ll probably have to return here anyway.
Main surgeon guy explained to me that I made some complications. During the Friday night attack a stone passed and it got trapped in the CBD. It stayed there for a few hours and eventually I was able to pass it, hence the narrowing of the duct. But the GB became very inflamed and he can’t do Laparoscopic surgery as it is too big to take out, and he prefers not to cut me open. So they gave me very strong IV’s with anti-inflammatories and antibiotics to reduce the size of the GB. He said if all goes well and bilirubin levels drop, tomorrow we can do surgery.
Next day, Monday 13th of may, bilirubin levels dropped to 2.5. I didn’t know what was about to happen but I knew that most likely i’ll get surgery that day. Massive anxiety. Around 1pm anesthesiologist visited me asking me about medications i take, allergies, and so on. I kept repeating that i am extremely anxious, i am very scared, i can’t get through this, i feel like i want to run away and so on.
She gave me Lorazepam pill (some benzodiazepine). That didn’t accomplish anything, as my system was flooded with cortisol and adrenaline from all the fear. At around 3PM a lady doctor came to me with a massive 20ml syringe and said “I heard you are scared and want something magical”. It truly was magical. After 5 seconds I had no more fear, and felt extremely relaxed. It was like I was drunk but without the room spinning around me, hard to explain. She said we go to the operating room (OR), and i could barely walk anymore and was leaning on her. I have no memory how I got to the OR which was 2 floors lower and apparently I walked there. All I remember was that I climbed on the surgery table and asked the doctors “Why is it so cold in here? Is this normal?” and I literally woke up in the room post-op.
For me it felt truly like blinking. It didn’t feel at all like waking up from a dream. It was instant, snap. Blinking is the closest explanation. Fascinating. So I woke up tucked in underneath the sheets and when i take them out I see a drainage tube getting out of me. Started to freak out, but the anesthesia was still strong and I couldn’t possibly get super anxious. They also gave me in a small recipient some stones. Surgeon came to see me. He said that my gallbladder was really big and it wasn’t very easy to take it out without cutting me open but he managed. He said the stones that he gave me were just a small sample, and that my GB had a lot of tiny stones and sludge and pus was starting to form inside from the infection. Good riddance.
Recovery
After a few hours I started to walk around. I didn’t get much pain from the co2 gas, but my intestines felt bloated. All the tricks that I read around this community were very useful (keep walking as often as you can but dont overextend yourself, try to fart to eliminate the gas, watched video how to get out of bed, having pillow over abdomen and so on). If you want me to post specific tips, let me know in comments.
They kept me 2 nights in hospital because i was very scared and i had pain. For me it wasn’t like a relief “it’s finally over” because of my anxious mind. I kept thinking what if something bad happens? And I kept having pain. All the doctors, nurses and surgeon kept assuring me that it is normal the way i feel and that i am fine, however i couldn’t tell if what i was feeling is normal post-op pain or something bigger, as there is no way to compare. My anxious mind made me argue with the surgeon to keep me another night in the hospital because “What if something bad happens at home? I have no support, no help, here in the hospital at least they can intervene” - he said no, and that i shouldn’t worry and go home and that he never heard someone say he wants to stay more time in the hospital instead of going home. So they let me go Wednesday 15th of May.
First week each day was better than the previous, but still with pain. Sleeping was very difficult as ive been told to sleep on my back inclined a bit with a few pillows. To better describe the pain: it was like a constant 3-4/10. Annoying. Couldn’t walk with my back straight. Was getting tired extremely fast. Had no energy for anything. But the biggest problem was that first week I got constipated when I am the type of guy who goes everyday in the morning like clockwork. I took first poop after 6 days.
After 11 days I had a very bad experience. I was still constipated and i tried going but I felt i had something massive inside. Bare in mind that i was taking everyday a stool softener. I started getting shivers and pain, it literally wouldn’t move. Was in quite some pain. After some redditing, many people suggested to shove a finger inside and try to dislodge it. Absolutely gross. It trully felt like a massive block of stone. Once again, massive anxiety and fear. Barely made it to pharmacy and they gave me glycerine suppositories. Shoved 2 inside over the span of 30 minutes without any effect. Was getting desperate and was barely moving from the pain. Wife went to another pharmacy and bought some micro-enema kits.
Word of advice: as I am in europe we have different things here, but there is basically a saline enema kit. Be careful with this as you can have pain after it quite a lot (after you pass the poop). So i got the saline enema as a backup but also a kit with liquid glycerine with chammomile and some other plant. In 5 mins i lost 1.5kg of weight. Felt like Satan was getting out of my body, the relief is undescribable. For your information: glycerine suppositories are just coating the inner walls for the poop to move more easily, but it doesn’t “dissolve” the poop. This enema thing that i got is basically “grabbing” the water from the inner walls and makes everything more liquid. It worked and I recommend it.
Now I am 2 weeks + 5 days after surgery. I don’t get much pain, but sometimes i get some twinges where the GB used to be, like some sharp pains all of a sudden (anyone else experienced this?). Usually happens when I move suddenly or i twist my body, sometimes randomly. It lasts just a few seconds. I can sleep on the right side, however if i do it all night i wake up with pain, so i still try to do go to sleep on my back. Energy levels are getting back to normal, I don’t get tired so fast anymore. I felt good one day and did a bit of work on my PC desk setup (cable management and all that). I didnt lift anything heavy but all this moving and bending gave me pain after. So I am trying to avoid any exercise, lifting, bending, pushing, etc. Using mostly my back and legs muscles.I see others here eating whatever they want, but my surgeon told me to keep a strict diet for a month after surgery and only after that to reintroduce slowly different fats and keep a food journal to track if something upsets me. I also have fatty liver and they gave me some enzyme pills or something that I have to take for 6 months.
Oh one more thing: here we dont use glue on the incisions, they use sutures and you have to take them out after 1 week. There is no pain only a small discomfort for a few seconds. All procedure takes less than 30 seconds, nothing to worry about (I was very anxious about it previously). Also, if you end up with a drain tube inside of you: when they take it out, pain is around 3/10 but you will have an incredibly weird feeling that is extremely hard to describe as nothing compares to it. It feels like someone is shoving down his hand inside of you and grabs your guts and pulls them out forcefully. I know it sounds scary but once again, it lasts like 3 seconds in total. It’s just extremely weird.
Any other questions, shoot in the comments! I hope this was helpful to anyone, as it was for me to get it “out of the system” as well. If you need any tips or words of advice, don’t hesitate.