Baked christmas gifts

Last month was my friend's birthday, and I made her a crochet cat modeled after her cat. I tried my best but it ended up looking kinda crusty as I am a beginner at crochet, and overestimated my abilities. She said she liked it but i feel like it still looked really bad. :(
This month, my friend gifted me 1. a crocheted thingy of my favorite animal that is NOT crusty and 2. $25 in the birthday card.
Which is better than my gift both thoughtfulness + monetarily.
Im just really confused as to what im supposed to do.
Am i supposed to just do better at christmas/next available?? Give her more crocheted cats (that isn't that crusty)???? Build a time machine and travel back in time and make it better??? Do i write a super long letter of apology/appreciation?? Return the $25 and make things akward af??
TLDR: How do I not be a shitty friend if my gifts aren't that good?

I (29M) posted here after a fight on Mother’s Day with my mom (47F) that opened my eyes a lot. TL;DR, we got into an explosive screaming match over the phone over some MASSIVE misinterpretations on her end, and suddenly my mom said everything from “well why don’t you go tell your step-mother?!” to “you have no idea what I’m dealing with right now! You’re not the only one with problems!” I don’t want to repost that mess here if I can avoid it, but rest assured I got the hint and now need your help because this all stemmed from a Facebook post from Mother’s Day ten years ago when I was basically saying my good-byes in a very, very dark time of my life. The post was deleted a week ago, but the fight is still in my mind.
Emotional blackmail like this is my mother’s go-to (has been since I was a kid) and until seeing you all post it here in black and white, I just thought this was normal stuff parents did. Everyone has a complicated relationship with family, right? But seeing SO many of you tell me how toxic this was made me realize what nearly 14 years of therapy with five different professionals couldn’t: that I’m just never going to be able to just live with it. I have been told so many times to cut her out of my life by going on a hundred different people at this point. I even briefly did about ten years ago. And each time I came back because I thought this time was going to be different, because something would change for a couple of months max before slipping back.
I have been told everything from “you’re nothing without me,” to “you only want me around for money,” to her favorite, “you know, I didn’t HAVE to give birth to you” (paraphrasing tremendously to comply with rules) since I was eight, at least. After a week of thinking, I talked to my husband (28M) about setting some boundaries, and these are the big two we came up with:

• No more money, ever, unless we’re about to lose our house. Christmas/Birthday/holiday gifts have a hard limit of $25 and if they’re a cent more, they aren’t accepted. If we go out to eat, my husband and I pay for ourselves. No exceptions.
• We start saving to pay her back the $5k she “gifted” us for our down payment fro the house, which I’m now thinking was actually just another loan. Any other additional “gifts” like that are rejected, and any other money we do accept from here on out is eventually paid back.

I am worried these might come off as TA-ish and as overreactions, but to keep myself out of more depressive spirals, I have to know if I’m doing the right thing. Even if I’m TA, I need to know if there’s room for nuance in that. She’s coming up next week for Memorial Day brunch, and I need outsider insight. My husband is 100% with me, and even promised to be with me when I drew these boundaries with her. He hates seeing how she treats me, but I have doubts about myself (wonder where that comes from). So, WIBTA?

This situation is far more complicated and has been years in the making. If you want a rundown, I’ve put a TLDR at the bottom. I truly just need a space for me to type out my story and possibly maybe hear similar stories if anyone can relate. This is an extremely long post, and there’s a chance I ramble, so just as a warning
I’ll give some background before I say my case: I (22F) have been suspicious of my dad (50M) for the better part of my life. I have diagnosed anxiety and for the most part, I’ve thought my ideas and skepticisms on the matter as just intrusive thoughts. My dad and I have l always had a weird relationship. It doesn’t change how much I love him though. Even as I sit here today, I can’t in good conscience say I hate my dad. I love my dad. Even in his bad moments and questionable behaviors, hes my dad and usually my biggest of supporters. I think because of his bipolar nature it makes this situation so hard.
My mom and dad have been married for 25 years. Like I said before, they have four kids, both come from strict Catholic families, and share the same group of friends. On the outside, everyone can tell my dad loves my mom. He worships the ground she walks on, splurges on expensive gifts for her and is pretty openly affectionate. My mom, however, has never been vocal on her affections, inside and out of the house. Honestly, I can see how this affects my dad. Over the years, they’ve gotten shorter with each other, dad lashes out a bit more (something I’d say to remember as you keep reading), and will disappear into the night after a harsh argument.
I’d say this is where I start to get weird feelings on him. We all have a joint Life360. All of us, including our parents, can see where we are at all times. I’m fine with this, given at the time of this starting I was 20 and in college and I understand why a parent would want their kids locations. When checking the app, I started to notice my dad’s location being off at weird intervals of the night. If you have Life360, you’d know that it will tell you someone’s location has been turned off. Naturally, I’d ask my dad and he’d laugh it off saying his app was screwed up and he wasn’t sure why it was doing that and then 20 minutes later his location would be back on. Whatever, fine. The locations would only turn off around 11 P.M. on random evenings, usually when he was in town. He’d still throw the excuse that it was because he was just flying and airplane mode screws up Life360 (which isn’t true btw).
Anyways, I guess the meat of this story starts December of 2022. Dad’s anger is at weird levels. He’s arguing with my mom more and turning off his location. Me, being stupid, accused him of acting weird a few days before Christmas. Naturally he gets defensive and starts to say things like I’d never cheat on your mom, how could you accuse me of things like that, my phone is just wired. I’d argue back that I never accused him of cheating, just that he’s weird. That didn’t help my case. This is where his true character started to show. Threats of I’d cut you off from college (they pay for my schooling, car and phone), yelling at me for not showing respect for him, how he’s done so much for the family. After this argument I’d see him deleting no name contacts off of his phone after a conversation. I brought this up to my mom, and she tells me it’s probably work so I drop it. If my mom’s not worried why should I be.
After Christmas, we fly north to visit family since we’re the only ones down south. During our trip, he’d take my grandparents car (with their permission, these are my moms parents) to run errands for the Christmas parties that will be happening over the next couple of days. Once again, every time he’d go out his location would turn off. The tipping point for me was when he said he was going to fill up my grandparents car with gas. They live 5 minutes from a gas station. We had a reservation in an hour with his dad that we cannot be late to. My dad knew this. He was gone for an hour. Location off. He’s not contacting anyone, including my mom, on where he is. When he gets back, 5 minutes after when we were supposed to leave, he tells us all that there was an accident at the gas station and they needed him for a witness support. I shoot him down asking why his location was off and why he didn’t tell anyone this in front of my siblings, mom, and grandparents. They all laugh like it’s a joke but once I look at him he’s fuming. He tells me to get in the car so we can get to dinner.
Once we all pile in for dinner he screams at me, once again repeating the things he said before Christmas and how dare I accuse him of anything in front of his in-laws. When we finally parked the car and started to walk into the restaurant, he screams at me in the parking lot. My cousins and grandfather are standing outside watching him berate me in public. I’m 20 years old and he’s treating me like I’m 5. He told me he was going to stop paying for school and my rent this upcoming school year to teach me a lesson. I have never seen my father like this before, and true to his word, I paid for the first two months of my Spring 2023 school year. After some convincing from my mom, my dad texts me in March to not worry about the rent. I think after this is where I truly realize what’s at stake and what more I could lose if I try something like this again, and I never once verbally said he was cheating to anyone. Besides I had no proof.
In between this period, my mom and I have a huge heart to heart. I confess to her that her relationship with my dad is not something I view healthy, and I’m fearful that my marriage one day will look like theirs. I tell her I think she’s treated unfairly behind closed doors and she needs to step up for herself. She agrees but once I bring up divorce, she laughs and says she’d never in a million years consider that. She’d never get a divorce, and she kept reinforcing that. My parents are super Catholic, so I’m not surprised by this statement, but I feel like this paragraph is important to note.
Jump forward it May 2023. I’m off for the summer, in a limbo between end of the school year and starting my internship, so I’m back home. One evening my parents and I are watching a show in the living room. How we are all positioned makes it that my dad is in front of us. During a commercial break while my mom is getting water, my dad takes out his phone and starts texting, however it’s not on iMessage. It’s on Grindr. The only reason I know it was Grindr is because I have a few gay friends at school and I’ve seen some of their messages before. Honest to god, I’m shocked and paralyzed in my seat. What I’ve been suspicious about for the past half of the year is true. Just not in the sense I thought he was. Excusing myself to my room I go to recollect myself and reach out to two of my closer friends about the situation.
Over the next few months when I visit home, I start to document any instance I see him on the app or turning off his location. I have multiple videos of him texting people on Grindr. I’ve started to hint to my mom that something isn’t right and made out loud comments how weird dads been. Since last May, I’ve told my younger sister (F19) about my dad and showed her some evidence. She refuses to acknowledge the behavior and does not want to do anything about it. We’ll joke about it sometimes behind closed doors but when I bring it up to her today about telling my mom or talking to my dad, she gets fearful and thinks it’s stupid to do.
Which leads us to today. I am a fresh graduate from college. I’ve moved back home and am looking for work. And I know I’m being extremely selfish to everyone in my family for withholding this information. After countless talks with my therapist, she thinks it’s wise to not tell my dad or mom what’s happening, at least currently. Since I have been actually cut off from my dad and my mom has expressed that she doesn’t want a divorce and can’t really be bothered to look into the situation more, my therapist and a few of my friends agree to wait until I’m financially independent and moved out of the house. I think about telling my parents everyday what I know. But then I think of me, and my three younger siblings (the youngest is 13) who are still living at home, and the fact my mom is financially dependent on my dad. And I think the worst part and it makes me feel awful for even typing this, but it feels a bit easier to cope with this because my dad is exclusively talking to men. He’s not cheating on my mom with other women. My sister and I over the holidays looked to see if he had any of the other dating apps and we found nothing.
Honestly, a lot of you all might have read all of this and may still think I should tell my parents asap. Or question why I’m still waiting. I think I’m scared. I think I don’t want things to change. I don’t want to be blamed at or remembered as the daughter who ruined the **** family. I know it’s my dads fault and it’s not on me, but I’m scared I’ll truly lose my dad if I bring this to light. I’m scared my moms life will be flipped upside down forever. I’m scared my younger siblings will resent me for ruining our family and their cushy life will be lost.
I just needed somewhere to write this all down. I needed to get this off of my chest while I sit in my childhood bedroom. I’ve never felt more trapped and guilty in my life. It’s easier to forget that this is happening while I was at school, but now that I’m home, it’s harder to ignore. If anyone has any similar stories I’d love to hear them. There’s a lot more I’m leaving out so if there are questions I’ll try and answer them.
TLDR: was suspicious of my dad for cheating back in 2022 based on some behaviors and was cut off for two months when I asked what was up. Now I know he’s gay and is cheating on my mom and has been for maybe years. Mom doesn’t seem to worry/care about his behavior and Dad is still creeping around. Now that I’m back home the guilt of not saying a word to either of them is building up but I’m scared I’ll lose my family.

Monday
Dimmy: I hope you all had a great Mother’s Day! Stevie Kate surprised me with a balloon, baguette, half-eaten apple, and pinworms she picked up from the feral Denner tots, and I surprised Stevie Kate and London with a Sol Brush powdered sunscreen shill and carcinogenic particles of zinc oxide and titanium dioxide in their lungs. Stevie Kate’s spent the past 48 hours in her pajamas tearing through a bag of rotisserie chicken, so I decided to resume potty training to get her to stop binge-eating chicken. I am finally ready to start potty training again now that we are going through so many diapers with twice as many Contentots in the house.
Dimmy: Ta da! Here is Stevie Kate’s adorable potty setup! Complete with balloons and princess underwear! Stevie Kate, are you ready to go on the potty and wear your underwear? Stevie Kate: I’m ready right now! Neighbor Boy Harry: Uh… Imma head out and go help my mom with her shitty stationery line! 🏃‍♂️🎒
Tuesday
Dimmy: Would you like to give us an update on how potty training is going? Sassy Kate: Would you like to give us an update on how you and daddy exploit your children on the internet for financial gain? Dimmy: I’ll give you a cookie if you detail every bodily function from the past 24 hours. So Fed Up Kate: I’ll give you a swift kick in your bad knee if you don’t stop talking about my toilet training. Dimmy: That’s it, your punishment for being sassy is you have to stay in your pajamas again all day. Sleepwear Kate: We all knew that was going to happen anyway.
Dimmy: I need to get your guys’ thoughts. With potty training, do I just stay at home? Or do I carry the miniature singing toilet with balloons attached everywhere we go? I’ve been staying at home the past 24 hours and it is torture! We haven’t even been able to go visit the Astroturf at the shopping center by our house. Stevie Kate’s been doing pretty good. We’ve had a couple accidents today, but she’s been doing really well for the most part- OW! Why did you kick me in the knee, Stevie Kate? Here, go play with this bag containing an entire rotisserie chicken and eat as much of it as you want. Mommy’s busy talking to the people in her phone who fund our lifestyle. Anyway, I can’t just stay inside for the next two weeks! That’s insanity! I need your help! How do I go out with Stevie Kate while potty training? Drop your tips in the box! I know I could just ask my sisters, Iris, or Meta AI on Instagram instead, but that doesn’t drive up my engagement numbers like responses from you sorry losers do!
Dimmy: Speaking of Iris, I did text it for craft ideas to keep School’s Out Kate busy this summer. Also I contacted Iris for a color analysis and Iris responded that bright orange parachute I wore car shopping looked great with my skin tone, and I should consider cutting up some of the parachute material to sew it into a dress. I tried to explain to Iris that it already was a dress, albeit a voluminous one, but Iris just responded with these bizarre outfit suggestions of monochromatic business looks for fall and winter where each outfit is the color of Tiffany’s self-tanner-applied orange skin. I tried to tell Iris it’s summer time and it’s hot as fuck here in Texas, plus I mainly wear athleisure and billowy dresses, not business clothes, but Iris said who cares, these aren’t real clothes anyway, just weird hypothetical Fashion Plates looks a robot mocked up. Iris said whatever I do, to avoid wearing cheetah print. What the fuck! That’s never going to happen. I love cheetah print. Still, I think you gullible assholes should subscribe to Iris anyway and use my code BOYAREYOUDUMB for 50% off your first month! Don’t you want to be able to TEXT Iris instead of carry a computer around 24/7 to use ChatGPT? I know that question makes no sense, since you don’t need four laptops in a Nordace backpack to use ChatGPT, but all of my followers are gullible idiots and will subscribe to Iris despite my idiotic statements!
Thursday
Dimmy is wearing loads of dark makeup and another gigantic billowy dress, and you know what that means… time to go car shopping again with paid pal Diana! Dimmy shared stories from Wednesday’s car shopping excursion to Hyundai and Kia and once again the trimmed-down troll was “too busy” to go along. Sidekick Kate was a good sport through the whole car shopping ordeal, despite hopping from bathroom to bathroom, the charge running out on her Tonies box, and her Mylar princess balloon sailing away in search of a beach to pollute. Screenie Kate forgave Dimmy for losing her balloon since she knows there’s always plenty more where that came from and she has Wina from Balloonish on speed dial. Dimmy sailed from new car to new car thanks to a strong breeze and her billowy dress, looking for the SUV with the most charging ports for all of her devices and the largest number of adjustable cup holders big enough to fit even the most gigantic of Stanley cups in her collection. She found the “Hun-Die” Palisade fit the bill, with chargers and cup holders galore. She wasn’t as impressed with the Kia “Tell-a-ride” because it didn’t have as many cup holders and ports to charge her numerous devices. Dimmy is now torn between buying either the Palisade or the Escalade because those were the only cars she found that rhymed with “getting paid.” Should she go with the practical, convenient “Mom car” Palisade or the super nice and luxurious Escalade?
Today Jen is grateful Kimmy, Stevie Kate and London are coming over to bring hugs and content. Stevie Kate was excited to show off her potty training progress to Minnie and Papa.
Jen: Stevie Kate, what are we doing today? Sugarless Kate: Baking sugar-free cookies on this damn, dirty floor, like usual. Jen: Why are you using ghost-shaped cookie cutters? Spooky Kate: Because Mommy is a ghost! Jen: Your Mommy is a ghost? Stevie Chef: Yes! Because I want her to disappear!
Tiffany was furious when she saw on stories that Kimmy, Stevie Kate and London were getting all of Jen’s gratitude and attention, so she threw a giant bow and no shoes on Lily and sped over to crash their party and divert all the attention to herself. She immediately whipped out her boobs to shill her Eby bra when she saw Dimmy nursing, claiming she and Jen might start lactating at any moment. Then she publicly shamed Stevie Kate for having an accident in her car seat on the way to Jen’s.
Meanwhile, London is still alive despite the clouds of Sol Brush sunscreen powder raining down on her face yet again as Dimmy’s fascination with demonstrating how to use the high-commission product continues. Dimmy headed to the airport to pick up yet another sister to help her out with London, but not before posting a Ritual vitamin shill so she could take the day off stories tomorrow.
Saturday
London is finally being a cooperative Contentot, smiling for Instagram from beneath her giant bow, and doing a picture-perfect Swaddle Stretch channeling her older sister’s performances from back in her newborn days.
Sol Brush is back in stock and Dimmy is bursting with joy at all the commission she’s going to make from more sales of the ineffective sunscreen, her kids’ lungs be damned. If Sunburnt Kate doesn’t convince Dimmy’s followers it doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.
Stevie Sunburn headed indoors to get a break from the sun and play with the robot bug toy Dimmy’s sister brought her. Thank goodness the Tacky Screech Owl found an Amazon link for the gift so she can make money off that too. Dimmy even had an active Active Skin Repair code, so she shilled it them sprayed Stevie Sunburn to give her some relief.
Street Urchin Kate looked like a Victorian Orphan by mid-afternoon as her Belle princess dress mopped up dirt, sidewalk chalk, Dimmy’s makeup, and everything else in her path. Dimmy left Disheveled Kate with her sister and cleaned herself up, threw on her Paris dress, and headed to a baby shower for the Houghtons’ wealthy family friend Anna. The beautiful florals and tasteful spread at Grange Hall were too elegant for the tacky turtle bunch, so Jen set the centerpiece flowers on fire with the votive candles to protest the lack of balloon arches, then escaped by helicopter to go terrorize another Texas city, Austin.
With two days off this week and tomorrow being Sunday, Dimmy’s Saturday shilling was at an all-time high. She’s linking up everything but the kitchen sink, and she’d link that up too if she had a code for it.

Never had the best relationship with my dad. from what I hear from my moms side of the family, he kinda just left my mom after she had me, when I was around 4 years old he said he was going to fight for custody but never showed to the court hearing. My mom still wanted me to have a relationship with my dad so she made an agreement with him (outside of court) so that he could have me every other Sunday for 4hrs, I’d probably see him one Sunday a month because he was “too busy” or “wouldn’t havetime” and when I would go over for Christmas/birthdays he would buy me expensive gifts that any kid would enjoy.
Now that I’m grown he acts like nothing happened and wants to spend time/have a relationship with me but now that i have no interest in those expensive gifts I don’t have any interest in having a relationship with my father either. AITAH? Obviously there’s more to it but It just doesn’t feel like he’s my father, it’s like he’s a distant acquaintance and it’s awkward being around him and his side of the family. I don’t want to hold a grudge with my father but why does he want a relationship with me now and not when he had a responsibility of taking care of a child?

AITA for wanting to bow out of our nephew’s kids birthday parties? He has 3 children under the age of 5. We gave each of the kids a baby shower gift and a “First Birthday/Christmas” present. Didn’t see this coming but he is inviting us to each kids birthday party now, along with 50/60 other people! He and his GF provide everyone with gift registry links (such as Amazon) full of clothing and toys. The backyard parties consist of a birthday cake and sugary pickies/pizza. Everyone sits in their small groups of family, their friends (& their kids) and some coworker friends, which my nephew and his GF sit with the latters. The presents are opened later on @ their home, and not in front of the guests, although sitting through a toddler opening 30-40 presents would probably be ridiculous too. I just feel it’s over the top…and a “money grab”. We’re not THAT old and our kids are still in college but I’m going to say it; in our day, just a handful of years ago, our kids would have an immediate family party including these nieces and nephews with 4-5 presents TOTAL then a small friend party when they started school with classmates. Those parties always consisted of a big food spread and activities/games for the kids. Quite often, the adults in the family would leave with some leftovers for their work lunches. The kids would always go home with a little goodie bag and balloon. Definitely no gift registration…and as they got older, we asked everyone to not give gifts but still get together for food and birthday cake. My nephew is one of 13 nieces/nephews on both sides of our family and first to start a family of his own. Not sure how the rest of them would handle things and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but can’t help but feel it’s a money grab..not even sure the kids know who we are! We see them for these parties and some holidays but not all of them. We appreciate the invite to be with family, but the whole gift registry and 60+ guest list is leaving a bad taste in our mouths. AITA for trying to curb this now and say “we’re busy”?

Hi, I’m a 15F, and I’m turning 16 during the summer. My dad is part of a “religious practice" in which we do not celebrate pagan holidays like Christmas,Halloween,Easter,New Years, birthdays, and more. When I was younger, we used to celebrate, but we stopped when i was around the age of 9–11. I never had a big problem with it until, like, a year ago. When I was 13, I was jealous of my long distance family members and friends for celebrating fun holidays while i did nothing. Recently, most of my friends turned 16 and had parties. The best sweet 16 I’ve seen was an ex-friend of mine had. She had a massive venue with a beautiful pink dress and crown. Her family and friends were there to support her. She was gifted a car and received so much money. I was extremely proud of her, but I couldn’t help but feel abiT of resentment. I only had the chance to experience the moment on camera because I’m not allowed to go to birthday parties. My second friend had a dinner party with friends and received expensive and thoughtful gifts, but I wasn’t able to go. Now a third friend had a sweet 16, but I wasn’t invited because I’m not close to her, which is understandable. Everyone had pictures and videos of her walking down the venue in a long gown. She looked like Disney Princess Tiana; she was so pretty, and her girlfriend was slow dancing with her. It was so cute, but once again, I couldn’t help but feel jealous. I asked my dad if I could do one, because I remember him saying a long time ago that I would be able to celebrate my 16th birthday. He obviously didn’t remember and said there was no point in throwing a birthday party because in his own words “what’s so important about turning 16 and not 17, 18, 19, and 20?”. He also said it’s disrespectful to God because I’m supposed to celebrate God alone. I don’t believe in God, but he doesn’t know that. I asked instead of throwing a big party if I could just have a birthday dinner with family and look pretty. He didn’t answer my question, but I could sense he’s not so on with it. I don’t believe I’m being unreasonable with my wishes; I’m aware we don’t have much money and a birthday dinner will work fine. My father isn’t a bad person; he’s just gotten really religious over the years. He's gotten less strict recently, but I still don’t want to miss out on my teen years. My birthday is coming up in a month, and I just want a day to celebrate me and my accomplishments in life.

For instance what do I get any guy I don’t wanna give them socks and a deodorant!!😭 Girls are easy to buy for cuz they usually appreciate anything (not saying that guys dont😭🙏) , but I usually have an idea what to get them thats probably why. Anyway, I know Im a shit friend bcuz he’s got me a gift for my birthday and Christmas and i didn’t get him anything cuz primarily im a broke college student and i didn’t really know what to get him(ik it sounds so bad).
Any ideas are appreciated! He’s an INFP. He’ll be turning 19, he reads psychology/self-help/philosophy books. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t like bars/clubs. He has a lizard.He likes the John Wick movies, and he likes lego. Budget: $25 Any generic things guys like getting for their bdays/Christmas Im willing to take!! Thank you 😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

I live rurally, about 10 minutes away from the nearest store. Very small town, we actually have the smallest freestanding Walmart in the country, lovingly known as SmallMart. There are only 5 places we can receive delivery from and I know that the Door Dashers here can't make that much as the demand isn't high.
I DoorDash at least once a day. I'm not totally lazy, just have a very full plate. My STBX is having his leg amputated next month and he still lives with me, we have a farm, a billion animals, and two teens that homeschool. I often forget things and using DD saves me a lot of time.
What is an appropriate tip? I usually do 15. I feel it would be robbery to go lower considering the drive. And I always feel like I'm bothering them, especially when I do more than one order a day.
Also, we have one Dasher who is an older gentleman, I'd guess approaching 70, is it acceptable to give him gifts for holidays he delivers on or one during the Christmas Holidays or is that weird?
Thank you.

I(17, european) recently met my online best friend (also 17 from the same country) at his birthday party. I had taken a long bus ride so I didn't bring a lot of stuff but I took a bottle of liquor (limoncello) I was gifted for Christmas with me so I wouldn't arrive empty-handed.
As I left in a bit of a rush, I proceeded to forget my bottle. Since I was unaware of any problems regarding alcohol, I wasn't too stressed about it, so I just told him he'd give it back to me next time we saw one another since we'd planned to hang out after our respective exams.
A few days later he burst out apologizing for drinking from it a lot and we proceeded to talk about it more in depth, he described that he couldn't stop thinking about drinking more and that he constantly craved it's warmth. Since he's a minor he's obviously doing it alone and when his parents aren't looking. He also asked a handful of his friends who are legal adults (in my country you're supposed to be 18 to buy booze but it's not that tightly controlled) to buy him beer and other alcoholic beverages, because the bottle I was gifted was dear to me and he didn't want to finish it.
I'm generally pretty worried about him since his mental health is generally shitty, he also has an ED and he smokes (for which I can't judge him really, I have the same " bad habits" )
He seems to be aware and worried that there might be a problem, but neither me nor him are sure of how bad this actually is since I tend to downplay most problems and he's also a little bit in denial.
If it's as bad as I feel he might be however, he would be the first person I'd be trying to support with alcoholism and I have absolutely no idea how to do that and what to tell him. I'm usually pretty good at supporting others and very close to him, and I don't want him to feel like it causes a rift between us because even I can tell that it will only make it worse. Does anyone have any advice on how to help him, maybe tips on what not to say to him and things or check up on with?
Please forgive my sort of clumsy English, it ain't my first language and it's 2am but I'm pretty worried about him because I care for him

TLDR boyfriend’s girl friend gifted him a perfume soaked Cat plush that I think is supposed to represent her. She’s also gifted him what seems to be kinda personalised things to their relationship. Am I looking too much into it or was that her way of flirting with my boyfriend.
I 26f, boyfriend 29m have been together for 2 and a half years. His friend who is a girl (they have known each other for 1 and a half years) just randomly gave him a perfume soaked Cat plush when she came over for our last dnd session.
I asked him about it and if the cat meant anything to him and he said it was from a anime movie they had went to see with a group of people last last year. It was a black cat with green eyes. He said that she often refers to herself as his black cat and he is a fox. So the gift must have also been a reference to her aswell. She also gifted him a fox dice holder for christmas and has also drew him two portraits for the two birthdays she’s known him for. One of him with foxes and another of him being a barman in a tavern with a black cat sitting at the bar.
She also confessed to him before Christmas that there might be some feelings from her end even tho she has said she is a lesbian. Since then she has backed off and was ignoring him more and others in the dnd group. Just the past few weeks she has started talking more again and I thought it was past us and all was good and she was worried I hated her.
Now she has given him that gift and I just wanted to know if I am overthinking it or if she was trying to say something by that. I’ve not said anything to her and don’t talk much to after she told him she liked him. My boyfriend accepted the gift and was laughing and didn’t really say anything much about it. He says he feels awkward and doesn’t want to break up the dnd party by saying anything and is being quite passive and saying she didn’t meant anything by the gift. I just wanted to know what others thought because I thought it was quite disrespectful to gift something like that and also have it soaked in her perfume! Do you think I’m looking too much into it?

Maybe 2004/5 Christmas gift. My grown engineer daughter had a pink/purple dollhouse with floors and walls that were kind of modular? The walls clicked into the floor and you could make multi-story rooms and she would always make “unconventional configurations” 😂 we can’t find the name!
It was 3 sided. You had rectangular floor pieces, shorter wall pieces that went on the short sides of the rectangle, and then longer back wall pieces that went on one long side of the rectangle. The floor pieces had slots that the walls fit into. The walls were all light pink but I’m pretty sure the floors were different colors like pink, purple, orange, and maybe green?
Thank you for any help.

TW: Discussions of unaliving thoughts/Actions
I promise this is RWRB related!
I had my first anxiety attack when I was 6 years old. My first depressive episode when I was 8 years old. My first mental breakdown when I was 11. And my first suicide attempt when I was 13. Since then, I've been on dozens of medications, I've been through therapist after therapist, doctor after doctor, and nothing has really helped me.
Until I received this book as a Christmas gift in 2023.
I don't read very often because I'm usually too busy to. I finished this book is less than a week. I've always been weighed down by the discrimination from family about my sexuality and gender identity. About my beliefs. That all people are people. That I'm allowed to be attracted to people of other races and other backgrounds. I was punished and put down for all of these my entire life. Seeing the diversity in this book and being able to relate to both Alex and Henry so much gave me a reason to live. And now, with the sequel coming out, it's been restored again. I finally have something to look forward to again.
This is a message to anyone out there who's struggling with mental health issues. I have chronic panic/anxiety disorders and depression. OCD, ADHD, Bipolar disorder, Eating Disorder, etc etc etc. Life is hard. Life fucking sucks. That's why you need to find small things to keep you going.
This community has been so helpful. You've all been so wonderful. So kind and understanding. I love yall. ❤️

Hey I ordered a ton of perfume during a mental breakdown. Here are my thoughts on some of them.
— Black-Hearted Tart —
We Fell In Love In October (Fluffy, hot off the griddle pancakes topped with butter and smothered in golden maple syrup. Accompanied by a side of spiced baked apples with notes of nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger): Buttercream, cinnamon yankee candle, nothing. That’s the extent of my journey. Honestly, it’s fine, it’s a very inoffensive fall scent, if you want to smell like you’ve crushed a craft store on your wrist it’s great, but a lot is missing. If notes are a choir, the cinnamon has a megaphone. Honestly, I’ve been looking for a good pancake or waffle scent for a while, and this misses the mark. 3/5, not bad at all, but not was I was looking for and definitely not fit to wear yet in the Hell Summer I have coming up.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Gifting to people who still use the word “spoopy”
• School bake-sale days
• Smoking cigarettes on the roof

Boys Wanna Be Her (Uplifting basil and bergamot add freshness. Enhanced with an earthy blend of buddha wood and oak moss. Tonka bean and white patchouli evoke a bohemian vibe): Boys Wanna Be Clean too, apparently, because the crux of this frag is SOAP, lots of it, and nothing but it. I have no clue where it’s coming from based on the notes, but it’s undeniably suds. It smells like those industrial strength white bars. Like “I just worked a twelve hour shift and the first thing I did when I got home was scrub myself down so hard my nose forgot what work smelled like.” This would probably be great for layering, come to think of it, but I like “violently clean” scents and will probably wear it on its own anyway. 3.5/5 if you’re like me and soap is a comfort scent, or if you’re some kind of Patron Saint of Laundry Detergent, you’d probably like this too.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Showing up Febreeze
• Infiltrating rich person bathrooms where the shower has fifty nozzles that move and every surface is marble
• Feeling peppy and awake on mornings where you just want to crash

— OSMOFOLIA —
Finally A Star (The glitz of cardamom and sparkling grapefruit stars, outer space ozone, dreamy tuberose, searing gunpowder, and a ham hock for a head): I’m so mad that this is good. The joke with my IRL friends regarding this order was “you know I wasn’t in a good place when I made this purchase because I got ham perfume.” And I'm the joke now, because I ended up liking it a lot. Like, this is currently the only Osmo frag that has ever worked on me, and I’ve tried a sizable chunk of their library. (Seriously, I was going to include another perfume of theirs to compare and contrast, but everything I said felt too mean.) To make matters worse, you can definitely smell the ham and the gunpowder in the beginning! It’s in the background behind a really juicy grapefruit note, but it’s present. Part of the way this perfume was sold to me were reviews that assured me the ham was more of a bacon note, but no. This is honey baked ham. Deli-core. But the grapefruit note is so juicy that it takes over and makes it manageable. It’s pretty and weird and vaguely delicious and I’m worried someone will try to take a bite out of my facemeat when I wear this, but I will wear it. 3.5/5, I guess?
Potential Practical Uses:

• Ill-advised bereavement meals
• Going poolside but your bathing suit is hotdog-themed
• Happily single manic pixie dream girls

— Sorcellerie Apothecary—
Cake For Breakfast (Birthday cake, ripe mango, pineapple, coffee, maple syrup, and a hint of cardamom): Okay, I get it, coffee doesn’t like my skin. This is a bitter burnt caramel on me, though according to my friends with working noses, it reads more vanilla to them. I wish I could get what they got: as the day goes on, it started pulling borderline savory on me. It’s like… okay, you know when you make pancakes and little drops of batter get stuck to the pan? And then they stay there and slowly burn into little balls of ash? It smells like the process of that happening, but someone is chugging coffee syrup. I can’t say I got the mango or pineapple, which I was kinda pulling for; there’s a possibility it was there in the opening, but I also could have been hallucinating considering how fast it vanished. I’m giving it a 2/5, I can’t fully say it’s bad, especially because the drydown is okay if you like your caramel overdone, but I don’t think I’ll be keeping this.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Manifesting disappointment
• Becoming the exhausted diner waitress you’ve always dreaded being
• Reconnaissance in Seattle

Your Girlfriend Is A Badass (Yellow cake with fudge icing, oakmoss, Himalayan cedar, forest floor): By all accounts, this shouldn’t have worked. I hate chocolate as a perfume note, because it tends to go tootsie roll on me, and I’m not the biggest fan of yellow cake because vanilla is a death note, and “forest floor” implies dirt, which I’m also not an enjoyer of. This is all to say I honestly don’t know what possessed me to buy this, but I’m extremely glad it did because I’m in love. When they say fudge icing, they mean it: it didn’t go cheap or artificial on me, it was honest to god chocolate the whole time. I know “I wanted to lick my wrist” is a cliche in reviews, but it did smell like my arm was edible. That dirt note is prominent, but it works in harmony with the chocolate and gives the whole thing depth. As it dries down, an unexpected party joins: incense. I can’t name which exactly, but it has undeniable headshop vibes to it. It sounds weird, especially because it’s not in the notes (unless this is just Sorce’s base), but it works. It’s like… a joint retirement cake between Joni Mitchell and Walt Whitman. Or like you’re making s'mores in a log cabin with a bunch of your stoner friends who super aren’t going to die to a slasher later. It’s definitely greater than the sum of its parts, and pretty much seals the deal on me crawling back to Sorcellerie for another order. 4.5/5, easy, would annoy the Haunted Forest No One Should Step Foot In for cake again.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Tracking down the man who killed your parents
• Hiking on a cold Midwest evening, alone with your thoughts
• Daphne specifically

My (25F) grandmother (72) has been diagnosed with cancer and has been given a few months to live. I would like to see her but there's drama surrounding it.
Some context: My grandma and I have hardly spoken over the past 5 years, our only contact being over text message with the odd happy birthday, Merry Christmas. I've seen her once in person. I have 2 children, one who she hasn't met but she sent a gift for the birth (which I thanked her for). We had a great relationship growing up other than she was always a borderline alcoholic and was very unfiltered and could get nasty when drunk.
Everything changed when she ruined my wedding day. She got so drunk and insulted my husband and a bunch of other things. It was completely unprovoked and she just got her liquid courage to be an AH, on my wedding day of all days. We didn't speak for a few weeks following and when we finally did, after pleading family members told me to reach out, we had a phone conversation where she half arsed apologised to me but refused to apologise to my husband.
Fast forward, her being terminal has made me have a long think, I wanted to reach out and see if she was happy to see me and my kids (not husband) as I think it'll give me some peace and I think she would really be happy. I don't want to use this to fully reconcile (I don't think), I purely just want to see her for the probable last time and have her meet her new grandchild. I wanted to kind of put it in her court, not just appear out of nowhere as I wanted to make sure it was something she'd want to. If she didn't, that was fine with me.
I mentioned this to my parents and I got the stupid comment from my mum of 'Do you think you'll be put into her Will?'. I was shocked hearing this, even though I think it was a bit of a joking comment. I'm aware my grandmother has hardly anything and I couldn't care less and made that clear to my mum. If I was bothered, I wouldn't have cut to next to no contact with her as I know she'd be as she always was, spending money she doesn't really have on me as that's her love language so to speak. My dad then perked up and told me that my Auntie had took my dad's ear off over the phone earlier because he told her that he told me she was diagnosed. My relationship with my Aunt isn't great, we aren't close (she lives hours away and I saw her like maybe once a year when I was growing up if that) but she still reaches out occasionally, comments on my Facebook and so on. She told my dad that I don't have the right to know and that she hopes that I don't think I can worm my way into my grandmother's life now she's dying.
I'm just conflicted as it truly isn't my intention to just want to be in her life again for some money or for anything other than thinking seeing her will bring us both a little peace during the end of her life.
So, WIBTA for reaching out to see her?