This chapter was too long to post as one, so I’m dividing into two parts. Apologies for it being a bit disjointed.
On Thursday morning, after Luke left early for work and Brooke went for a run, I removed from Brooke’s closet the the gossamer jacket I had worn to the Ren fair and put it into the trunk of my Prius along with the canvas shoes and white tights that had completed my humiliating “Little Foot Page” costume. I dared not disappoint Anna a second time.
Fortunately, I didn’t have any punishment writing lines to complete after I cleaned her and Paul’s apartment on Tuesday. Brooke didn’t force me to wear any new feminine accessory that day. She was so fond of the choker that it had become an almost regular part of my daily attire.
As she kissed me goodbye that morning before I left for campus, she fingered the choker and my neck, saying, “I like this on you. Maybe I’ll order another one with a subtle little ring on it.”
I often couldn’t tell when Brooke was joking or not.
“You mean something where someone could attach a leash? Like a slave collar? Please, Brooke. This is bad enough.”
“No, it wouldn’t have to stick out like that. I said ‘subtle,’ didn’t I? The ring could be flat against your neck. That style is very common. It’s sexy. But I do think we can get you a proper collar to wear at home. I’m thinking leather with silver studs and a nice ring in the front. That one will definitely stick out. Luke and I will look for something on-line.”
Again, was she joking or not? She gave me her full, dimpled smile as she spoke, but that didn’t tell me conclusively one way or another. Nevertheless, her smile, her touch and the nature of the conversation all conspired to cause my liberated cock to grow hard in the lace panties I was wearing under my khakis. I was hoping she wouldn’t notice, so she wouldn’t lock me back up; several hours later, I was wishing that she had noticed.
Except for regular cleanings, and one or two supervised, humiliating releases, I had been locked up pretty consistently over the previous 2 1/2 months. Therefore, I truly enjoyed my freedom most of that Thursday. I had an almost incessant erection, fortunately mostly concealed by my khakis (which were looser than most of the pants I was permitted to wear), even while waiting in line to get Neil’s coffee and while walking across campus in a light snow to bring it to his office. The phrase “microaggressions” had become trendy on college campuses such as mine, referring to insensitive comments people make that are discriminatory or insulting, often even without intending to be. As I knocked on the door to Neil’s office, I thought to myself how I was being subjected not to microaggesions at my college, but rather to microhumiliations. Such as fetching Neil’s coffee.
“Come in,” said Neil, through the door.
Remarkably, seated in the one chair across from Neil’s desk was Paul Betz. Yet again! Alarming and suspicious. Or was I simply being paranoid? Neither of them made any effort to get up from their seats.
I was holding the cup of coffee in a paper bag. Feeling like an idiot, I placed the bag on Neil’s desk.
“Thanks for the coffee, pal,” Neil said, as he removed the cup from the bag. “It’s a bit cold.”
“Sorry, it’s snowing out there,” I replied, absurdly, as if it was even remotely somehow my fault that his coffee wasn’t hot.
“No worries. I’ll warm it up in my microwave. Paul and I were just discussing some swimming techniques. Paul’s team has a big meet this weekend. Is it okay if I catch up with you later?”
Paul looked up at me with an arrogant smirk. I thought to myself: how much strategy could there possibly be to discuss? You jump in the pool and you swim.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll talk to you later.”
And just like that, I was dismissed. The coffee boy had delivered the coffee and was no longer needed. Why should I care about suffering this microhumiliation in front of Paul, who a few hours later would be subjecting me to any number of macro humiliations? Simply because he was gaining even greater knowledge about me, the nature of my relationships with others in my social circle and the breadth of my submission. Knowledge is power. More knowledge about me, more power over me. Nothing good could possibly come of it.
Paul was his usual arrogant self in class that afternoon, and it was clear that he, Anna and Kelly were all in exaggeratedly good moods, no doubt savoring the thought of interacting with me under radically different circumstances only a few hours later.
Anna was wearing black tights, a short, plaid skirt and black ankle boots. She propped her feet up on the desk in front of her next to Paul’s and said, “Oh, look how dirty my boots are from all the puddles of slush.”
Paul added, “Mine too. Fortunately, our shoeshine boy will be visiting later.”
Kelly sitting two seats to their left, giggled and said, “The cold weather makes me ravenous. What’s for dinner tonight, Anna?”
Anna grinned and answered, “Beef stroganoff. Our shoeshine boy is also an excellent cook, supposedly. A real Renaissance boy.”
“Not a Medieval boy?”, said Kelly. She and Anna both laughed.
Scanning the room, I didn’t believe the other students were picking up on all of the innuendo (or, if they were, I didn’t think they understood what it meant). Nevertheless, one serious female student, not part of Kelly’s clique, looked at me as if to say, “Why are you letting these clowns do and say whatever they want? Why don’t you take control of your classroom?” How I longed to do just that, to put the three of them in their place with some witty remark, as I would have done in the past. The pain of Paul’s spanking on Tuesday still fresh in my mind (if not on my bottom), however, I bit my tongue and timidly began my lecture.
After class, I went to the grocery store to purchase all of the ingredients for Anna’s prescribed menu of beef stroganoff, Italian green beans, and a starter spinach salad with warm bacon dressing (she had even directed me to her preferred recipes on-line — I had tested the salad and dressing on Brooke, with positive reviews). I also purchased the two bottles of not inexpensive red wine specified by Paul.
When I arrived at their condo, holding multiple grocery bags, my nemesis doorman was lying in wait for me, like a snarky Cerberus dressed as a bellhop. My underworld was eleven flights up, however.
“I’m going to apartment 11B. Paul Betz.”
“I have to announce you. Who should I say is calling?”
“The cook. Please tell him the cook is here.”
He spoke into the intercom phone, smirking at me, “Mr. Betz. Someone calling himself the cook is here to visit you. Although I’m pretty sure it’s the same guy who announced himself as the maid on Tuesday. May I send him up?”
Still holding the phone, he then addressed me: “Mr. Betz said they are expecting the maid, not the cook. What should I tell him?”
I sighed. “Please tell him the maid is here.”
“Mr. Betz. He is now no longer pretending to be a cook, but has announced himself as the maid. Very good, sir, I’ll send him right up then.” He put down the phone, his expression more smug by the second, and said, “You may now go up. The elevator…”
I interrupted him. “I know perfectly well where the elevator is, thank you.”
He stopped smirking to glare at me with annoyance for a moment, before resuming his smirk as I entered the elevator with my shopping bags.
When I got to their door, I got down on my knees and waited. Behind the door, I heard talking and sporadic laughter. They only kept me waiting about five minutes that day, and fortunately I was spared any encounters with Paul’s and Anna’s neighbors. It was during those five minutes on my knees, staring down at my cock pushing out my khakis, that I came to the belated realization that it probably wasn’t a good thing to be free of my chastity cage in the circumstances in which I then found myself. As I continued to wait, a sense of panic began to set in, which paradoxically only increased my arousal.
When the door finally opened, I was greeted by Kelly. I was eye level with her short, blue skirt. I looked down at her sheer stocking-encased legs and black, strap-on heels before looking up at her grinning face. She had been wearing jeans in class, but had obviously dressed up for the exciting occasion of being served dinner by her submissive professor. I have not really described Kelly’s appearance much before now, other than to say that she is attractive. Kelly has shoulder length, thick, brown hair and sort of a button nose. She is slender, but not as tall as Anna or Brooke. I would describe her more as cute than truly beautiful like the other two. However, by “cute,“ I don’t want to suggest that Kelly isn’t sexy. She is, but more in a teasing, playful way than the regal Anna. Sometimes it’s those cute, playful ones that you really have to watch out for, I was to learn.
Generally speaking, it occurred to me that, on the cusp of turning 40, I was surrounded by – and subservient to – a number of meaningfully younger people, most of whom were well above average in the looks department. There are a lot of overweight Americans – more in Ohio than in the Northeast, I thought (I’m sure Neil would have said that observation was still further evidence of my elitism) – including a lot of overweight students on my campus. For whatever reason, however, I was this bookish, unathletic guy now surrounded by athletes (Luke, Paul, Anna, Kevin, and even my one contemporary in terms of age, Neil), or fitness freaks (Brooke) or the generally attractive people who they chose to associate with (like Kelly, Laura, and Brooke’s estranged friend, Michelle). Growing up, my social circle tended to consist of the less attractive – the geeks, the nerds, the social outcasts. So, being surrounded by the cool, beautiful people was new for me, and exciting. So much toned, taut young flesh. Of course, I was not, nor am not now, their equal. Not even close. I’m their servant, their lackey, their toy. But that’s part of what makes the dynamic so exciting, so arousing. For me, certainly. But also for most of them, I believe (Brooke excepted; I am confident that there is a lot more depth to our relationship with each other, than to our relationships with all the others).
As I looked up at Kelly, these thoughts running through my head, I consoled myself that at least I wasn’t being subjugated, teased and tormented by physically repulsive people. Remembering Brooke’s advice to go with the flow, I tried to tell myself to be grateful for small favors.
“Hi, Professor Rollins!“, said Kelly, brightly.
“Hi, Kelly,” I sheepishly replied.
“Oh, come now, professor. We’re not in class now. I think the proper way to address me here is Miss Kelly, don’t you agree?”
“Yes, Miss Kelly, of course.”
“You may enter,” she said. Seeing Paul behind her, I remembered to shuffle on my knees into the apartment, bags in either hand.
Paul said, ”What time do you need to be home tonight, Rollins? Where are Luke and Brooke?”
“Thursday night they almost always go out, sir. If you recall, that’s why we picked Thursday evenings for me to…to come here. Luke is taking Brooke out to dinner tonight at a restaurant near his house. The earliest they’ll be home, I think, is around 10:30, unless they decide to spend the night at Luke’s. I’d like to be home by 10, just to be on the safe side, sir, if possible,” I replied.
Kelly said to Paul, “I like the ‘sirs.’ I see that you’ve been training him well.“
“You may leave at 10. That means we have you for 5 hours. Put the food away and then get dressed,” ordered Paul. Anna and Kelly’s boyfriend, Archer, were sitting on the couch in the living room.
“Wait a minute,” said Anna. “Did you bring your Ren fair costume this time?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
“‘Princess?’ I really like that. Call me ‘Princess,’ too,” Kelly said to me, giggling.
“Yes, Princess Kelly,” I replied.
Smiling with delight, Kelly asked Archer, “Do you wish him to address you as Prince Archer?”
Archer, who I later learned was Paul’s teammate on the college swimming team, said, “No, he can just call me ‘sir’.”
“You’re no fun,” said Kelly.
“Put on your Little Foot Page costume, professor,” said Anna.
“Hold on,” said Paul. “If he’s serving us dinner, shouldn’t he be dressed as a waitress? Or as a maid? What about the pink uniform Chrissy wears? That’s sort of a waitress maid hybrid,” Paul explained to Archer.
“Or what about the Hooters uniform?”, asked Archer.
“But the Little Foot Page uniform is so cute!”, said Kelly.
Anna said, “Well, everybody seems to have an opinion. The only way to settle this democratically is through a vote. Let’s all write down our top choice on a scrap of paper and toss it into my baseball cap. There are three options and four votes, so there will be a clear winner.”
“I think he should model each uniform first, so we can make an informed decision,” said Archer.
“Great idea, Archer! Who doesn’t love a little, impromptu fashion show? Kelly, please tear up four pieces of paper and get a pen while I show our dear professor where we keep Chrissy’s uniforms,” said Anna.
I listened to this rather extraordinary conversation while still kneeling in the entrance hall. I had managed to will my erection down, at least partially, so had escaped detection for the moment. Obviously, this was only a temporary victory, however.
After being permitted to stand, I first put away the food and then followed Anna upstairs into the dungeon. She opened a closet and pulled out two plastic bags that she draped over the spanking bench.
“Here are the other two uniforms you will model for us. I want you to start with the waitress uniform. Make sure you wear the black stockings and the heels with the dress. And the cap. There are hairpins in the bag you can use to make sure that it doesn’t fall off your head. Once you’re dressed, we’ll be waiting for you in the living room. I expect you to walk the length of the living room, stand before us, curtsy, do a slow 360, face us again and curtsy a second time. Then walk back up here, put on the Hooter’s uniform, and repeat the same steps. Remember to put on the flesh colored pantyhose; they’re what really make the Hooters uniform, don’t you think?”
I had never darkened the doors of a Hooters before, but nodded my ascent.
“Well, the pantyhose along with the white socks and sneakers. You didn’t bring those, did you?”
“No, princess. Besides the shoes I’m wearing, I only brought the canvas shoes I wore to the Ren fair. As you commanded, princess.”
“All the more reason the Hooters uniform just won’t cut it tonight. But we have to humor Archer, don’t we? So, wear your canvas shoes with it. You’ll look preposterous, but that’s the point, I suppose. Right?”
“Yes, princess.”
“You’ll finish with your Little Foot Page uniform. The same steps. That’s my top choice, so make sure that you really sell that one. I’ll be watching closely. If you fail to do any of the steps I just told you, or don’t do any of them satisfactorily, I’ll ask Paul and/or Archer to take you over their knees and spank you, hard, 10 times for each mistake. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Princess Anna.”
She left me in the dungeon to change. Paul’s description of the first uniform was accurate. Imagine a pink maid’s uniform, with a V-neck, black collar, black buttons and a black apron. It came with a matching cap, pink with black trim. After putting on the dress, I rolled the sheer, black stockings up my legs and smoothed out the skirt, my fully erect cock still concealed for the time being beneath it. The short skirt only came down to my mid thigh. I then put on the heels and the cap, fumbling with the hairpins, and regarded myself in the mirror. I was dressed like a fetishized waitress in a retro diner. Could I look any more ridiculous? As I practiced curtsying a few times in front of the mirror, I answered my own rhetorical question.
Worried about keeping my students and Archer waiting, I descended the stairs and followed Anna’s instructions, listening to the strange sound of my heels clicking on the hardwood floor of the living room.
As I curtsied before the four of them relaxing on the couch, Kelly giggled with glee and Paul said, “Now that’s an appropriate uniform for dinner service.”
“It is, yes, but we see Chrissy in it all the time. A little variety is nice,” Anna replied.
As I went through my steps, I watched Anna hold the same little book they had used to record my shortcomings in cleaning – my demerits as they called them – and make notes in it with a pen. That couldn’t be a good thing, I thought to myself, although I was quite certain that I was following her instructions to a T.
After I did my 360° turn, I did a brief second curtsy, as Anna had ordered, but she stopped me as I was turning around to go back upstairs.
“Wait, professor maid. Curtsy to us again, but this time make it a deep curtsy. I want to make sure that you’ve been practicing.“
I did as she commanded, bending my legs, one behind the other, lifting my skirt with my hands and holding the dipped, bowed position for a few seconds before straightening back up.
“What do you think?”, Anna asked Kelly.
“Not too bad for a relative novice, I suppose, although his technique could definitely use some work,” said Kelly.
“Do you hear that, professor maid? You need to spend a lot more time practicing your curtsying. Also, you’re walking in the heels better than on Tuesday, but you’re still pretty unsteady. We expect our servants to be graceful,” said Anna, imperiously, as she made additional notations in her little notebook. “You need to practice walking in heels somewhere besides your time here with us. We do not tolerate on-the-job training here. Got it?”
“Yes, Princess Anna. I understand.”
“Good. Move along now. We need to decide on your uniform so you can start serving us cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.”
I hurried back upstairs as quickly and gracefully as was within my power and changed into the Hooters uniform. I put on the nude pantyhose first, my cock distressingly hard beneath the transparent nylon. So much for further concealing my liberation from chastity! Freedom can be a dangerous thing, I was to soon learn. I next put on the U-shaped, white T-shirt with the big orange letters, the two ‘Os’ doubling as eyes for the owl. The shirt was tight against even my flat chest; I could only imagine what it must’ve felt like to the well endowed women for whom the shirt was designed. Next, I pulled up the skimpy, bright orange shorts, hoping like hell that they might hide my erection. They did quite the opposite, in fact. Made of some synthetic fabric, they were incredibly snug and almost looked like a bikini the way they rode up the side of my legs next to my crotch. The shorts hugged my small balls, the outline of which was readily apparent through the fabric, my cock making a small, but unmistakable protrusion above them. As humiliating as the waitress uniform was, this was worse, I felt. I groaned as I observed myself in the mirror. I then put on my canvas shoes and descended the stairs to begin another degrading catwalk.
Archer laughed and clapped. “Thats fucking hilarious. Look at the loser!”
“Ha ha, look our professor has a little stiffie,” said Kelly, pointing at my crotch and snickering.
Anna said, “Oh, my God. Paul. She’s right. Look! They must’ve taken off his chastity cage.”
Paul said, “Well, this opens up all kinds of new possibilities, doesn’t it?”
“It most certainly does!”, agreed Anna.
This conversation, so intensely humiliating, resulted in my already hard cock twitching beneath the tight orange shorts, growing harder still.
Kelly said, “But he doesn’t have any boobs. What kind of Hooters waitress is that? At least Chrissy is growing boobs, thanks to the hormones.”
As I was curtsying, Paul asked, “What happened to Chrissy’s breast forms?”
Anna answered, “We let her throw them out after she started growing her own tits.“
“Too bad,” Archer replied.
Anna added, “And the whole outfit just doesn’t work without the white tennis shoes and socks. Also, our Hooters girl forgot to do her second curtsy.” As I turned back around to comply, Anna added, “No, no professor pantywaist, it’s too late now. That’s another demerit, I’m afraid. Now hurry along and model your last outfit for us.”
I scampered up the stairs and quickly changed into my Little Foot Page costume from the Ren fair, the one inspired by the Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale’s painting, a favorite of Brooke’s. How I wished at that moment that it was her I was dressing for instead! The short, nearly transparent jacket barely concealed my cock, jutting out shamefully through my white tights.
Remembering Anna’s insistence that I really “sell” this outfit, I took special care to complete each step to the best of my abilities. I held my back straight and practically pranced into the room and across the living room floor. I held my curtsy longer than usual, somewhere between the duration of a regular curtsy and a deep curtsy.
Both of the girls applauded, gleefully.
“See. The foot page costume is adorable. And it’s unique,” said Kelly.
“But pages don’t serve dinner. Pages do all kinds of other things for their masters, like clean their clothes and shoes, help them get dressed, deliver messages, and so forth,” said Paul.
“Oh you’re such a stickler for authenticity. I’m sure plenty of pages served their masters and mistresses meals as well. They were utility servants, and I’m sure did whatever was required of them,“ said Anna. “Besides, with this uniform, we have the best view of his hard, little cock. Look, it’s fun size!“, she added, pointing.
“With equipment like that, it’s no wonder that his wife cuckolded him,” chuckled Archer.
“From the look of him and his attitude, I’ll bet Luke is hung like a horse. Is that true, professor baby cock?”, asked Anna.
“Yes, Princess Anna,” I answered meekly.
“Look how red his face is!,” said Kelly. “We’re not embarrassing you, are we, professor?”
“Yes…I mean no, Miss…I mean Princess Kelly.”
“Okay, it’s time to vote,” said Anna.
“Why bother. We all know which one will win. Archer will vote for Hooters, I will vote for sissy waitress, and you and Kelly will vote for this silly page costume, inappropriate as it may be,” said Paul, sulkily. “So, the foot page it is.”
“Oh, goody!”, said Kelly, clapping her hands together with delight.
“Time for cocktails! Take everyone’s order,” Paul said to me sternly, seemingly still annoyed that he didn’t get his way.
Paul and Anna had a well equipped bar, so making the drinks was relatively easy. Anna insisted that I curtsy after serving each person. I, of course, would’ve felt ridiculous curtsying under any circumstances, but felt particularly so dressed in my page costume. Paul had a point; there was something incongruous about it. After serving them, I began prepping for dinner in what was truly a chef’s kitchen. The meat needed to simmer for a while to be sufficiently tender.
Anna had shown me a little brass bell that they would use to summon me for drink refills or anything else they desired. I heard it jingling about 20 minutes into my prep work and hurried back into the living room.
Paul said, “Archer and I are ready for refills.”
“Yes, sir.”
“From now on, curtsy every time you enter or leave a room any of us are in, and every time any of us gives you an order,” Anna interjected.
“Yes, princess,” I said, curtsying as I took their glasses.
By the time I returned a few minutes later with Paul’s and Archer’s fresh old fashioneds, curtsying again, Anna was also ready to for new martini. Of course, by the time I returned with her martini, Kelly was finally ready for her second cosmopolitan. Would this ever end?, I wondered. How would I ever have time to prepare the rest of dinner?
Fortunately, rather than request a third old-fashioned Paul said to the others, “Let’s go for a swim.” I was back in the kitchen working when the four of them left the apartment to take the elevator down to the building’s large indoor pool. Things got more interesting about an hour later when my young superiors returned to the apartment in their bathing suits.

MY COLLAGE FRIEND

hey there let's go for a erotic story

I mean this will be the best story you had ever listened, so first of all my name is Joe
so it all started when I was around 17 I had addicted to porn. i mean i started watching porn everyday and then masturbate, but then due to some self belief and internal feelings I left it as you know I got motivated from YouTube and successfully get rid from masturbation, it was a miracle for me.
afterwards when I turn 18 I got admission into a collage and decided to stay in the hostel after all. there I found that there were separate hostels for girls and boys and hence I had hoped for making a female friend who can talk with me and we both play and study together.
after a year I found that I had got many friends and somewhat female friends too. in there one girl named Lily. she was a attractive girl if I explain her body then she was petite meaning she was skinny and also with blonde hairs and she wears metal silver frame glasses, I mean I was like I love her, I don't know whether I can make her my friend or not but I thought I should give it a try.
after another year passed and I had successfully made her my friend, I know you are curious about how does this happen, talking about how does this happen I had tried to talk with her whenever I got chance and I think that she had also understanded me that I wanted to be her friend and so then she come by herself to make a good friendship, I was happy no happiest I can't explain how I feel, she was so kind and full of good humour
after collage last day I was like a best friend of her in male section as I always talk with her and crack jokes and fun, and she also seem to like it.
so after collage I invited her to be my guest in my house, my parents will definitely love it, by this she had first denied it for she thought that this is a fast decision but after my several requests she finally accept it, I feel a lot good inside.
so we came home my parents were happy to see me as I had come hack home after half year as collage have vacations on every 6 months and I came to spend my time with my parents, I introduces lily and made her to stay with my room.
yes of course I had taken her permission as if she feels uncomfortable in my room she can head to my room and I will sleep in living room. but she said that she is comfortable in there.
then at night she wearied her night dress it was kind of a very short cloth heading to her chest to below of her panties, I feel something but I think that she is my friend and then she and I went for sleep, as we had shifted to my new home my parents had a new double bed and the old double bad had given to me and it was in a good condition, so lily slept besides me.
when we are sleeping she was watching her phone and I acted as I was asleep but when I moved to her direction she took her phone away, I thought she is hiding something from me I pretended to be slept, she still had taken her phone away from my eyes as I think she was making it sure I don't watch her phone, I pretended to be in sleep after around 15 to 20 minutes. lily thought that now I am in a deep sleep she took her phone and I shocked she was watching porn, and as I see her another hand I found that she is trying to masturbate, I think I should have taken her chance and found to be done for it.
next day I wake up early and head to medical store to buy condom and then make it hide into my secret drawer in my room and then I spend my rest of the day enjoying with me parents and my friend lily.
now as we had dinner and watched tv, we finally gone for sleep and it was her last night for my house as she also wanted to go to her parents house to met them and to spend time with them.
then I asked what she was hiding from me, she said nothing interesting, I told her what I had seen, she blushed and said you finally got it huh I am feeling shy don't discuss about it huh
I took out my condom packet and shown to her, she said what are you thinking about it , she was like she wanted to do this with me from very past. I said yes and then I gone to bathroom and watched tutorial for how to wear it as I had never seen a condom I had just known that it avoids pregnancy and safe for mating, I wearied it and first came to lily with my shirt removed already, she said come on it is so fast.
I kissed her again do the same and like doing it for around 2 to 3 minutes, I took my hands and take it into her chest I found out that she had wearied a pink bra, she was like oh what you are going, I rapidly took my hand inside the bra and touched her boob and it was so soft and small and one more thing that I love small boobs girl, she had a small nipple which I just touched and rubbed softly and squeeze her boobs gently, after that I removed her single cloth I found that she had wearied pink bra and panties, I removed her bra while hugging, she was saying stop! stop! also she was smiling it meaning she wanted to do this but this is giving her some nice feeling.
after I came down the bed and make lily sit on a stool and then I set between her legs and then I sided her pink panties to left with my left arm, it was my first time watching pussy in real life, I had just watched it in porn videos, it was a clear white pussy that has no hairs meaning she had shaved pussy and it was very pleasureful , I took out her panties from her legs she had closed her legs so that I could not give a look at it, a opened her legs with my hands and it barely opened , when it opened I quickly get a look it was so nice with a soft vibrant pinkish colour and more beautiful as it is shaved I touched the top of its entrance and then the bottom and touched and rubbed it gently for some time, she again started to close her legs I quickly opened her legs more and just give a kiss to her pussy, she give a sound oh, then I quickly sound that it isn't smelly found that she keep her pussy so cleaned
I quickly touched my tongue on her pussy, she vibrated and then I started to move my tongue and she feel a lot tickled and vibrating more as it was her first time too, I touched her boobs and licked her pussy , her whole pussy was vibrating and she was feeling good
then I make her sleep in bed I slept onto her and kissed her still for a bit , then I moved down and put my face between her boobs and touched them both with my hands and then licked them too, then I again moved down and just kissed her belly it was so slim and good, I again moved below and kissed the upper part of the pussy where her panties lies and moved my lips gently down and finally reached to her pussy, I then started to put my finger into her pussy and she was telling no don't do it in a funny way, I moved it inside slowly I had a smooth entry and after letting my finger in and out from her pussy 2 to 3 times I found her pussy started to produce lubricant meaning she wanted to do it too mentally, I increased my fingering speed , and she was producing sounds like oh, uh,. then I gently licked it and touched all her body parts, then I opened me pants and put my cock into her pussy I had slowed it to much as I don't know whether I or she does feel pain she stopped smiling and when I injected my cock further she started telling that it is burning a bit but it is acceptable she said, as soon as I put my cock in it to get lubricated, and to get it much smoother I put my saliva in there too then it got smooth and she said that she is feeling some strange as something is going inside her and coming out she said that I should put it more further so it get more comfortable, I put my cock further and also fasted the speed, she shouted oh , I tell her to make low noise as her parents would know about this, I change her position and again started putting it again and like this I don't it for half a hour and it was midnight and finally she got satisfied but I do not so I keep it on more, she stopped feeling horny as she got satisfied but I know that I should do same for myself too, she said to stop as she is not liking it any more and she produced more sounds as she started feeling little pain, I do in and out more fast and she started producing high sound too, I covered her mouth with my hand and said her that it will be just more around 2 to 3 minutes, after about 5 minutes I feel satisfied too she was like huh finally and smiled at me and said it was a good experience isn't it
I accepted it and the next day she finally went and also promised to both of us to keep it a secret and it wouldn't happen again and be best friends forever.
that is it for today see you all tomorrow.
bye...

Ever since I was young my dad has made me vastly uncomfortable in many ways. Pretty much every day for as long as I could remember he would call me into his room to lay down and watch movies with him after my mom went to work, which I didn't mind of course, but if i went in there, more often than not he would ask me to give him massages and kisses. For the few times that I had said "no" his reaction would be to get incredibly angry and take something of mine, usually calling me a "spoiled brat" in the process. I've always thought that he had the right to do this because I knew I was spoiled and the things he took were technically his anyway. And if I did agree to go in there with him he would hug me close to him in bed and rub his hand over my butt. This was something that I had always been uncomfortable with and I had told him that. He told me that it was normal, that I was the one making it weird by bringing that up, and that he just found it cute. I told my mom about the interaction and she agreed with him saying that "it is normal, he has always done that." Which, again, is true. I don't remember a time when I was younger when he didnt do all of this, and he did stop touching me there when I moved into my early teens. Even just the thought of anyone touching me there makes me sick which i guess might be overdramatic.
In my early teen years, my father started to make (or i started to notice) weird comments about me and my body. One example of this would be the time that he walked into my room, catching me trying to get dressed. Just before he opened the door I told him not to come in and when he did, accident or not, he paused, looked me up and down, and said "Wow, she looks like she's growing a big pair of knockers just like her mama." He wouldn't close the door until i told him to get out a few times after hiding myself. Again, when I told my mom about this, to her it was just a joke and he was "just being funny." And as always I felt different, but I believed her because "why else would he do that?"
Since that age to now he touches grabs my mom innapropriately while staring at me with direct eye contact over her shoulder; he will do this for minutes on end, just staring at me. Yet again, told my mom about this and again, she dosent believe me. This is what he has being doing more and more of everyday and it just irks me for some reason. I call him out on it everytime now and he always says something like "what are you even talking about?" Or "Shouldn't you be happy me and your mom are still this in love with eachother?" She will laugh along with him and make me feel crazy. He did this a couple times just today with a few comments. Me and my mom borrowed his truck today where he had some air freshener hung up that said something corny, my mom threw it out at him calling it stupid, he pressed it against his face and smelled it and told me "it smells just like your mommy's panties." He also tells me when he's going to have sex with my mom, or that he is going to impregnate her to make a new daughter.
I've heard the term covert incest used online and I dont know if its applicable to my situation. I should also say that my father is a very angry person and will often break things or hurt people while having his adult temper tantrums after not getting his way. I am much like him in this aspect in the way that I easily get angry in the situations I mentioned before, but I also take it out on myself like plucking out hair. I also used to punch myself in the head or bang my head against the wall, but i still have trouble not pulling out hair when I get stressed and this was the last thing i ever opened up to my mom about years ago because she told my dad and he would use it against me whenever he was angry. Since I can't trust my mom to turn to, the next person I think of is my older brother. He has asked me before if my father has ever touched me innapropriately and i told him "no" because I really don't understand if he has or not. I dont want to tell him unless I actually get what is even going on and even then he deals with a lot himself and I dont just want to be another problem for him, I guess.
Sorry if this turned into a vent or if i didnt give enough examples, i have just been really confused on this for a long time.

22f, married for two years and i went to a memorial day bbq last weekend. my hubby had work so wasn't able to come. im a pretty conservative christian (i try to be normal though and im not mean about it lol). couldn't decide what to wear, so my husband suggested i wear this dress i have that i absolutely love. objectively it's not anything crazy, but it's def bold by my standards. it's a white sundress, tea length, loose in the skirt, form fitting up top, but im small chested so there's not really any cleavage or anything, even if it doesn't have a very high neckline.
this seems like a detour but is relevant, ive just been trying to be a lot more natural recently. ive stopped doing my hair and makeup, i got off birth control, im eating better foods, and ive stopped wearing bras and panties. tmi, ik ik, but it's just been personal preference.
anyways, i get to the bbq, there are probably about 15 people there, all people i know, but not all of them are close friends. it was a super fun day, and towards evening we were all sitting outside. this really sweet guy ive seen a couple times before started talking to me, he was asking about my couple's bible study my husband and i have been doing, he said he and his girlfriend were interested so i was having fun talking to him (nothing even remotely flirtatious)
all of a sudden, one of my best friends storms up to me and tells me what "a dirty slut" i am for talking to another guy while my "tits are on display" i look down, and i see that yes, my nipples are poking thru my dress pretty hard. i covered my chest and hurried inside, really self conscious, not knowing if ive been this exposed all day, or just since it started getting colder.
i wanted to talk to one of my other good friends. i told her what had happened outside and i was expecting reassurance, but she told me that "this tradwife nonsense needs to stop" (i had to look up what a tradwife was, im not really a social media girl) and that "this barefoot, braless pantiless bs needed to stop"
i was shocked, and left crying. the first friend called me a few days ago, saying that she was willing to accept an apology on my part. i haven't responded to her bc i don't think i have anything to apologize for.
important to note - no one could actually tell i wasn't wearing panties lol. my friends knew because we're oversharers lol but even in the heat of the moment they admitted that they couldn't see thru the crotch area in my dress.
so please help me out. aiw for talking to this guy? aiw for wearing that dress? aiw for not responding to my friend's call? do i owe her an apology? am i really a slut for accidentally having my nipples exposed like that? thanks in advance. sorry for the rambling

So I posted this story before under my previous account, but reposting now by request of some of my lovely little Korean snacks.
So it all started when my wife and I (32) moved to Seoul. Very quickly I noticed just how drop dead beautiful the average Korean woman was. I had never really been into Asians previously, but now living in Seoul I was absolutely obsessed with them! I worked at an elementary English school (학원) and quickly discovered I was the only male there. I would take peeks at coworkers in skirts and dresses and would enjoy the views of young Korean teachers in tights bending over and hanging things up. Then S came.
S was an older married Korean woman, maybe in her 40s. She was pretty good looking for her age (it is Seoul afterall) and had the tiniest frame. Tanned, tight, flirty, and desperate as all hell. She would constantly engage with me, try touching my arms and legs, try wiping my face, and would always pry into my married life. While my marriage was and is very happy albeit basically sexless, she didn't need to know that, so I tried to avoid it.
Then one day we're the only two in the teacher office. We're making small talk from our chairs when suddenly I spill a bit of coffee on my slacks. In a split second, S is on her knees with a tissue wiping my slacks right on my inner thigh. I got hard instantly, and she must have seen the bulge. I quickly ended the moment and we went on with the day. But I knew what I had at my fingertips.
After that, I started returning the attention. We'd chat more, I'd rub her arm or back as I passed in the tight office space. I'd touch her hands and hold for just a little too long when handing her things. Soon we started talking outside of work. One evening while my wife was out working, we were chatting and she figured out that I didn't get certain attention from my wife. She admitted that she found me attractive and I admitted the same. She said it drove her wild whenever I touched her. So I started telling her how I could touch her more at work and no one would know. She told me the idea made her wet.
Following that, I started making a deliberate effort to sneak touches of her ass and thighs as I passed by, started tracing my fingers along her arm or leg if we were huddled close together at a table, and (my favorite) make sure my cock was hard and at an upward angle in my slacks so I could glide it along her ass, up one cheek, down her crack, and back up the other side if we ever squeezed past each other in the comically small staff kitchen. Needless to say all of this got both of us wanting more, so I figured out where there were no cameras in the building. I told her that the stairwell of our office building had blindspots in several places and we set a date to meet.
On the appointed day, I made my way down to the B2 parking stairwell, one of two spots in the whole building with no cctv (it's Korea lol). I told my wife that I had to stay late for reports, which was common enough, plus she was working late again. A few minutes later, the door from the parking garage opens up and in walks S. We walk up to the landing with no cameras. She asked if we could kiss. We began to passionately kiss each other as my hands wandered to her ass and began to squeeze as we kissed. She moaned softly. I began to kiss at her neck. More moaning. One of my hands wandered down to her crotch and began to rub her. She moaned even louder. I asked her how long it had been and she moaned out, "Too long." My hand lifted and then pushed down again down her pants and panties. I could feel her silky bush and wet pussy. I started to rub her out. She fondled my crotch a bit but kept getting worried as we could hear the doors and people walking on other floors. She said maybe we should stop, what if we get caught.
These worries passed as I lifted up her shirt and pushed her black bra away to reveal her beautiful little chest. She apologized for how small they were. I responded with my lips all over them as she moaned even more. Her tan lines were on full display as was her incredibly tight and slim frame. We heard more noise and she pulled away. She started to adjust herself, saying we should stop because she didn't want to make a mess or get caught. I was throbbing at this point and she could see it. A moment of silence and she's looking down at my bulge. Without hesitation she begins caressing it through my slacks. "You can touch it," I say. As if she were waiting for that command, she unbuckled my belt and pulls my pants and underwear down. Out springs my throbbing and precum dripping cock. She whispers, "Oh my god," and instantly plunges it down her throat. My wife does not deepthroat me and refuses to do so still. S had me down to my balls in her throat. The feeling and image are forever seared into my head. I can't help but gently pump as she sucks. I see she shows no sign of discomfort. I quicken the thrusts. She braces her hands on my thighs and keeps taking it. I begin to pound her throat. She gags and drools but doesn't stop. I wish I lasted longer but I was and remain woefully out of practice. I cum down her throat. She holds me down. Once I'm done, she finishes sucking and pops back up, wipes her lips, and smiles. "See? No mess."
We said it was one time. It wasn't. We met multiple times after that for oral and masturbating. Still looking for a proper time to fuck in a motel. I've since moved schools and have pursued other coworkers in a similar way, though S and I still meet up looking for that time to fuck. Hopefully someday soon!

Warning Long Rant**
So for a little backstory I’m currently 21 but I lost virginity at 17 with my long distance bf at the time that I ran away to be with. At the time I didn’t know much about the vagina except that it’s hole that bleeds and that penises go in to and babies come out of and I wasn’t aware that going to the gyn is important and that the vagina has a PH balance which can be thrown off by many things like panties and men. I also didn’t know that you can get a yeast infection from not pushing the semen out after intercourse.
After 3 months of living with him I moved back home and went to the gyn and they told me that I had a yeast infection which explains why sex was SO DAMN painful amongst other things. This happened 2.5-3 years ago and so I now believe that my partner at the time knocked my PH balance off because ever since then I would get yeast infections and utis (mainly yeast infections). I was also told last week that I had a uti and/or bacteria in my urine so they prescribed me 5 days worth of antibiotics to clear it up so hopefully when I retest next week it will be cleared up.
I also have irregular periods ever since I first got them so I was prescribed metformin and birth control but it only helped a little so I stopped using them a year ago because of that and because I kept forgetting and was too ignorant to understand how important and beneficial they were until recently. About a year ago my period regulated it’s self but the past 2-3 months it’s been a day or two late but at least I get it!
I also have cottage cheese discharge and a very bad soufishy odor that started when I began being intimate with my ex 3 years ago. Then I was diagnosed with pcos which sucks and we were trying to conceive and I was wondering why I wasn’t getting pregnant but THANK GOD I didn’t!!!
Anyways like I said earlier ever since I was last intimate with him I’ve been having cottage cheese like discharge with a soufishy odor and the docs would tell me that’s it’s a/the yeast infection and then give me antibiotics but it didn’t go away and I still have it and no matter what I do like drinking lots of water, shower, wear no underwear, use Monistat, eating healthier (because I was 320 at the time) it still wont go away and I don’t know what to do plus my pcos causes me to have facial hair, belly hair etc at this rate I might as well be a man….
I just had a pelvic exam and after I opened up my legs and they were done with the exam, they told me that I can get dressed and then hurried out the room. I’ve never been so embarrassed… but at least my male doctor was very informative, patience and I actually listened to my concerns and is actively trying to help instead of saying you need to lose weight or it’s yeast infection like my last doctors did which is crazy because they were are all females so you’d think that they would understand and listen to their patients more but man this still sucks so bad because with my cottage cheese like discharge and bad odor, and obesity I decided not to date anyone because who’s going to want to go down on me and be intimate with me? On top of that my vagina is hideous… I have a double chin and my facial hair makes me look/feel like a man so I might as become one because I ate least won’t have a hideous wrinkly and dark pigmentation vagina anymore… I want to go home and cry in a corner… maybe I should get vagina reconstruction surgery or just change genders😭😭 if you have read this, this far then thank you it means a lot that someone cared enough to read this damn Ted Talk of mine, if only I put this much effort into my exams and essays at college😔

moanalissa32 Here's everything I could find. I compiled anything that was ramblefap/"real orgasm". I know everything isn't deleted, but some of them are. I'm happy to take down this post if you want. I also have some of the post texts if you want that. Those were too many characters for a reddit post so I left them out.

2022-06-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] Masturbation with 2 Vibrators (Lelo Sona Cruise and Ben wa Ball) [vibrator] [masturbation] [moaning] [holding breath and gasping for air] [orgasm] [candid]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-with-Lelo-Sona-Cruise

2022-06-08

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Orgasm through Masturbation with one Vibrator [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [shaking from pleasure] [moaning][light profanity][American accent}
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-2-with-1-vibrator-and-post-feedback

2022-06-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Orgasm through Manual Grinding Masturbation [heavy breathing] [masturbate] [grind][music] [pointed toes] [ramblefap] [gasping for air] [intimate] [moaning] [orgasm] [narrative] [clothed] [tremble] [holding breath] [American accent] [west coast accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Manual-Grinding-Orgasm-Twofer

2022-06-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Sex Dialogue and Masturbation [heavy breathing] [masturbate] [pointed toes] [ramblefap] [gasping for air] [intimate] [moaning] [orgasm] [answered question] [tremble] [holding breath] [American accent] [west coast accent] [nsfw] [light profanity]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Morning-Masturbation-with-toy-discussion

2022-06-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 3 Orgasms through Masturbation Grind, Vibrator and Vibe with Dildo [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [shaking from pleasure] [moaning][light profanity][American accent][grinding] [lelo] [dildo]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/O3-From-Grind-to-Vibe-to-Dildo

2022-06-25

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] REQUEST HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading Top 6 All Time Slutty Confessions with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Pavlov Dog] [Orgasm] [Training] [Penetration on Stage] [Exhibitionism] [Dildo] [Incest Dildo] [Humor] [Blow Job] [Bullying] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Top-6-Slutty-Confessions-of-All-Time-Reading-with-Masturbating

2022-06-27

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] [F4M] REQUEST HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading 32M Loses Virginity (28F) Slutty Confessions with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Virgin] [Orgasm] [Training] [Penetration] [Hyperspermia] [Oral] [Multiple Orgasms] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/SLUTTY-CONFESSION-32M-VIRGIN-WITH-1-ORGASM

2022-06-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading Katie's POV as a 'HotWife' with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Cuckold] [Cuck] [Bull] [Hotwife] [Orgasm] [Blow Job] [Rejection] [Oral] [Permission] [BWC] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Cuckhold-Story-Katies-Side-1-with-Orgasm

2022-07-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Quick Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet] [music] [profanity] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-4-Unanticipated-and-Quick-Lelo

2022-07-06

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] HYSTERICAL AUDIO INTERRUPTED: Reading OLD FRIEND by TAgainAgain while Masturbating [Masturbation] [Dead Bedroom] [Cheating] [Blow Job] [Racing] [Orgasm] [Musician] [Exes] [Old Friends] [Uncircumcised] [Phone Call] [Vibrator] [Glowed Up] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/OLD-FRIEND-PT-1-INTERRUPTED
• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/ORGASM-WITH-LELO-Sona-Cruise-JULY5

2022-07-12

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Breathy Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [music] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Mostly-Breathing-1
• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Mostly-breathy-and-Some-Moaning-2

2022-07-17

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Quick Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator - Already Started [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Masturbating-And-One-More

2022-07-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Exclusive for My Followers Only: Interrupted Orgasm Cleaned Audio [Ramblefap] [Breathing] [Moaning] [Orgasm] [Lelo] [Vibrator]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/ORGASM-WITH-LELO-Sona-Cruise-JULY5-Cleaned

2022-07-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Long Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator and Dildo [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet sounds] [big dildo] [intense] [edging] [trembling body and breath] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Masturbating-Lelo-Dildo-Lelo

2022-07-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Breed Me Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [breed kink] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Breed-Me-4th-Wall

2022-08-05

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Caught by Mom [Incest] [MotheSon] [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [mom / son] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Caught-by-Mom-Ramblefap-O-1

2022-08-12

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Masturbation with Vibrator - Holiday Vacation [Cheating] [None the Wiser] [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration][Lelo][4th wall] [Morning sex] [Planned Vacation] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Vacation-Visit-O

2022-08-15

original reddit post
Title: F4M] 69th Cake Day Twofer Orgasm through Masturbation with Lelo [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [trembling from pleasure][needy] [moaning][light profanity][4th wall break][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Ramblefap-69th-Day-on-Reddit

2022-08-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Conference [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [meet for coffee] [maintain my innocence] [no control] [confession][breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Fantasy-4th-Wall-Conference

2022-08-26

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Shower [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [shower] [maintain my innocence] [no control] [confession][breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Shower-Fantasy

2022-09-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Zoom Distraction [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [lingerie] [zoom] [surprise visit] [profanity][breaking the 4th wall][Improv] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://whyp.it/tracks/40154/ramblefap-conference-zoom-o

2022-09-09

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Just Like Before [masturbating] [real orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [whisper] [pointed toes] [profanity] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Back-to-how-I-used-to-make-them

2022-09-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 100 Cake Day - Come with Me [4th Wall Break][real orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [GWA Voice Actress] [ramblefap] [narration] [whisper] [finger in ass] [Masturbation instruction][Confession][Mutual masturbation][Mutual edging][profanity] [American accent] [Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Cum-with-Me

2022-09-16

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - Trifecta with My New Vibrator [real orgasms] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes][needy] [moaning][light profanity][4th wall break][We Vibe Melt] [Needs a name][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-My-New-Vibe-Trifecta

2022-09-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - New Vibrator with Big D[real orgasms] [descriptive] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes][wet noises][needy] [moaning][profanity][big dildo][We Vibe Melt] [deadline][long audio][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-We-Vibe-Melt-with-Big-D

2022-10-01

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - New Vibe Needs a Name [real orgasms] [descriptive] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt] [Poll][Followers decide][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-New-Name-for-the-MeltO

2022-10-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap/Hysterical Audio - Make Me Forget Him Tonight [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt][American accent][long audio 42 minutes] written by MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Make-Me-Forget-Him-Tonight-v2-Hysterical-Audio

2022-10-14

original reddit post
Title: [F4M]Is Your Partner Finally Asleep Next To You? Now Time For Us [FDom vibes] [4th Wall][GWA VA Speaker][JOI/JOE][Dirty Talk][Teasing][Degradation][Good Boy][Cheating][Shame][Guilt][Humiliation][Condescending][Breeding][Facesitting][Countdowns][Masturbation][Edging][Speaker Real Orgasm][Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Is-Your-Partner-Finally-Asleep-Next-To-You-Now-Time-For-Us

2022-10-21

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: The Melt has a Name [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [blow job mention] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-The-Melt-has-a-Name

2022-10-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Double O with the Neurolyzer [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [minimal talking] [moaning] [pointed toes mention][profanity][We Vibe Melt][long pause after first o][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Double-O-with-Neurolyzer

2022-10-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: 3 Word Challenge - First Recorded Squirt [real orgasm] [masturbation] [big dildo][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [real orgasm] [Fuck Me Harder] [moaning] [squirt][profanity][sitting on the floor][super quick 3:33][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramble-Fap-3-Word-Challenge-Squirt

2022-11-04

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Hysterical Audio: I'll Be Your Fantasy - The Slut's Pledge [Fsub][obedient][confession][bjs][exhibitionism][dirty talk][self degradation][shared][daddy][sir][dtf][moaning][real orgasm][pleading][vibrator][3 hole fucktoy][voyeur][thick cock][anal][dp][creampie][Script Fill] by MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-FillRamblefap-Sluts-Pledge

2022-11-11

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Double Orgasm Post Interview [real orgasm] [masturbation] [big dildo][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm] [moaning] [profanity][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Double-Duty-Post-Interview

2022-11-18

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Doctor Visit [real orgasm] [masturbation] [medical][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm][orgasm announced] [moaning] [profanity][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Doctor-Visit-1

2022-11-21

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Your Hot TA Shows You Who is In Charge-Part 1 [gentle fdom][college][TA/student][masturbation][blow job][real speaker orgasm][listener orgasm][hand job][bald pussy][countdown][cum on tits][good boy][follow my instructions][No sex][edging][whispers][moans][American Accent] with MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Your-Hot-TA-Shows-You-Who-is-In-Charge-Part-1

2022-11-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Sorry Babe, I'm Addicted to your Best Man [confession][cheating][betrayal][pregnant][voicemail][size mention][addition][wedding night][oral][piv][masturbating to my picture][panties][lied][retreat][speaker real orgasm][progression][American Accent] Written Collab with MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Commission-Sorry-Babe-Im-Addicted-to-your-Best-Man-fx
• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Sorry-Babe-Im-Addicted-to-your-Best-Man-no-fx

2022-11-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M][F4A] PSpot and GSpot Guided Play with Me [JOI] [Prostate Play][Bi-positive][Sex positive][Straight Friendly][toys][listener orgasm] [performer real orgasm][anal play][pussy play][glass c toy][educational/instructional audio][masturbation][HFO] Written by Kobmoney43 (first script YAY!)
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-PSpot-and-GSpot-Guided-Play-with-Me

2022-11-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Coworker Crush Fantasy come True - you have to share a bed with your work crush at a hotel conference [Fdom][teasing][loving][sex][blow job][taking virginity][narrative][purple lingerie][coworkers to lovers][thoughts][real orgasm][Script Fill] Written by CompliantScribe
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Fantasy-Come-True

2022-12-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] A sexy woman is casually reading in bed, dressed to kill. Her partner is hoping for sex, but she ignores their desires. Eventually, she can’t help but be turned on…[bored][ignored][humiliation][moaning fetish][real orgasm][seduced][fdom to fsub][smoking] Written by CompliantScribe
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Casually-Reading-and-Smoking

2022-12-09

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: 2 Orgasms in 15 mins [real orgasm] [masturbation] [4th wall][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm][orgasm announced] [moaning] [profanity][face sitting][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Face-Sitting-is-a-Thing

2022-12-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: MOANday Masturbation Back to Back [4th Wall][real orgasm][moaning][breathing][loud orgasm][2 orgasms][we vibe melt][soft voice][small confession][announcing I'm close/orgasm][sensitive]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Mutual-Masturbation

2022-12-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Exploring with Glass [real orgasm][anal plug][we vibe melt][glass][njoy pure wand][shower][edging][clitoral orgasm]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Exploration-AP-Neurolyzer-Glass-Pure-Want

2023-01-27

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] RAMBLEFAP: Super Long Triplefap [rambling][moaning][neurolyzer vibrator][big dildo][kind loud orgasms] I talk about [meeting a sex shop worker][threesoms][polyamory/open/monogamy][real orgasms][gasping for air][loud breathing][4th wall][dirty talk][suck my toes][mention feet]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Super-Long-Triplefap

2023-01-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] RAMBLEFAP: Last fap of the Super Long Triplefap [rambling][moaning][neurolyzer vibrator][big dildo][kind loud orgasms] I talk about [meeting a sex shop worker][threesome][polyamory/open/monogamy][real orgasms][gasping for air][breathing][4th wall][dirty talk][suck my toes][mention feet]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Last-Fap-of-the-Super-Long-Triplefap

2023-02-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M]The Voicemails Your Ex Left You [No actual sex] but plenty through [voicemail][confession][awkward] at first then [drunk] [rambling][speaker orgasm] talk of [voyeurism][risky sex] [cunnilingus][blowjob][missionary][creampie] implied[sweet ending][Script Fill] Written by st0pinthenameoftits
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-The-Voicemails-Your-Ex-Left-You
• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-The-Voicemails-Your-Ex-Left-You-2

2023-02-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Alissa's Ramblefap Compilation by Special Request [real multiple orgasms][big dildo][clit sucker vibrator][long audio 1:10:00][descriptive][moaning][squirting][3-word challenge][69th day audio][edging][authentic self][grinding][lingerie][navy blue][wet sounds][trembling]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Follower-Request-Orgasm-Compilation-1

2023-02-16

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] A sexy woman seduces you with her voice teasing you with increasing intensity, until you climax with her… [gentle femdom] [JOI/JOE][blow job][sex][teasing][real speaker orgasm][moaning][breathing][vibrator][married woman][Script Fill] Written by current_mgt
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-A-sexy-woman-seduces-you-with-her-voice-teasing-you-with-increasing-intensity-until-you-climax-with-her

2023-02-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: A little 4th Wall Break [real orgasm][vibrator][neurolyzer][thigh highs][secret/confession][cheating mention][mutual masturbation]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Super-Bowl-Sunday-Sneaky-O

2023-07-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Hysterical Ramblefap Audio reading Let Me Take Care of You [Narrative][ramblefap][F POV][sensual][destress][kissing][touching][blow job][cock worship][reading while masturbating][real speaker orgasm][Private Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Story-Let-Me-Take-Care-Of-You

2023-11-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap by Follower Request [whispers][real orgasm][lelo][clitoral orgasm][moaning][breathing][intimate][piv mention][pointed toes][tingle][intense][loud][toy][undressing][4th wall][mutual masturbation][boundary break]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/5K-Follower-Request

TW: SA and mentions of Suicide I apologize if this is a bit long. Thank you for taking the time to read this if you do.
Last year I made a friend who then introduced me to their friend group. This was a big deal to me because I have not had any close friends let alone a whole group of friends since college. I had some friends before meeting this group of people but for the most part these friendships are with people who live in a different state, people with full lives/families/etc, coworkers and people who I don’t get to interact with very often.
I became very close with a woman in this new friend group. She became like a big sister to me and I genuinely love her. We bonded over a lot of things and began talking on the phone everyday, checking in on each other, sharing our day to day experiences, and hanging out in person. She also introduced me to a bunch of new friends in their group and we hung out as a group many times. Girl’s nights specifically were so much fun because being able to open up to other women about the things we all go through was very healing.
Fast forward to this year. Not to go off topic but basically the Change Healthcare Cyber Attack and ensuing Outage left me (and countless people across the US) without medication. For me I was “lucky” and this outage only left me without my meds for a month. But in that month I experienced extreme withdrawal specifically from stopping a high dose antidepressant. My brain was zapping constantly, my suicidal ideation increased, and I had a mental breakdown.
I have made a couple attempts at taking my own life in the past and I do not want to hurt my family by going through with it. So I decided to check myself in to the local psych ward.
My friend who I mentioned above picked me up and since it was late in the evening I asked if I could stay with her so I could check in during the day (in my experience the psych ward intake process goes better if you go in the daytime as most of the staff/doctors typically aren’t there at night or on the weekends). She said of course you can stay with me and she said it would help her for me to be there with her as she was going through a very painful breakup and needed support.
This same friend was going on a trip out of state that week and because she picked me up on a Friday night and was supposed to leave for her trip that next Monday; we both decided I should stay with her until she left for her trip. My reasoning was as stated above that the psych ward intake is generally better on a weekday morning/afternoon. My friend’s reasoning was that she wanted to support me during my breakdown. She also said she needed help preparing for her trip and I was more than happy to help her in any way I could and also support her through her breakup.
I’d like to also say I was very scared to go into the psych ward because I’ve had some very bad experiences in some of them. So I think that I was trying to essentially “postpone” my mental breakdown by staying a couple days with my friend and focusing on helping her.
My friend’s roommate is a man in his thirties and he pays all of the rent. They have an arrangement that works well for both of them. My friend told me her roommate was “a really good man” and “shy around people “. The night after she picked me up, she was really sad about her breakup. Another woman from our friend group came over and we decided to drink and watch a movie together with our mutual friend and her roommate.
After one drink my friend decided to go to bed and when I wished her goodnight she was crying. I was heartbroken for her. I asked if she wanted me to stay with her instead of watching a movie in the living room. She said she just needed some alone time and I respected that and went back to the living room. Our mutual friend decided to go home early and left. It was now me and my friend’s roommate in their living room. We talked for hours and I thought we really connected. I was very vulnerable and open with him. I explained what I was going through and he gave me a lot of encouragement. I could tell he liked me so I was very clear that I was not looking to date anyone. He said he understood. I asked if we could cuddle without it being sexual. He agreed to it. We ended the night cuddling on the couch until I fell asleep but before cuddling I asked him to please go back to his bedroom once I fell asleep because I did not want my friend to feel sad if she saw us. In my opinion it would just be cruel to have my friend heartbroken and crying in the next room while I cuddled on her couch. I didn’t want her to wake up and be triggered by something like that. He agreed and we only cuddled for a bit before he went to his room.
I would like to also say I regret turning to men for comfort when I’m depressed and it’s something I’m working on.
The next day, the roommate asked if he could take my friend, myself, and our other girlfriend out for dinner. My friend was going to see a show that night so the plan was to go to dinner and then have her roommate drive us to the concert. Dinner was fun, I love my friends dearly and seeing my friend smile and laugh for a bit with her mind off her breakup for a while was so nice. We left the restaurant and my friend encouraged me to ride in the car with her roommate. “He’s a really good guy” she said. “He’s just looking for someone to settle down with and have a family!” “You should talk to him I promise he’s not like the guy you’ve been talking to he’s really respectful and sweet.” “I know you’re not looking to date anyone right now but he will respect that so just have some fun hanging out with him and see what happens maybe you’ll be surprised”
I got in the car with him and on the drive I was very assertive. I said that after a lot of thought from the night before I have decided to be celibate for at least a year. I explained that I have a problem with turning to men for comfort and letting them use me just so I can feel “loved” or just so I can cuddle and experience intimacy. I also said that I really appreciated his kindness and respect from the night before. He said he completely understood. He said that he cares about me a lot and that even though we had only known each other for a day that he would like to wait for me to heal because he felt a deep connection to me. I said thank you for understanding and respecting the boundaries I’ve set. I said I don’t know what the future holds and I’m not going to be dating anytime soon but we can be friends.
When we got back to my friend’s house I was so excited. I told my friend how I set boundaries and was assertive and I was so excited he didn’t react with anger and instead said he respected me “even more” for having that talk with him. My friend said she was happy that I’d been assertive (something we both know I struggle with) and that she was happy I’d made a good friend.
We were getting dressed up to go the show but all I’d packed was psych ward attire (sweatpants, comfy tshirts, jammies, etc) so my friend had me try on a couple of her outfits. Even on my “best days” I don’t really like to go to clubs/bars because I’m socially awkward 🤷🏻‍♀️ so ultimately I decided at the last minute to not go. My friend went to the show with some other friends of ours and her roommate decided to stay home. The plan was to watch a movie then go to bed by myself because I was still having brain zaps and overall feeling like I was one second away from hurting myself!
I was in full downward spiral mode. I wanted to dull the pain with alcohol. But at this point it was too late to go out and buy any liquor. My already addled brain went hunting through my friend’s fridge for any alcohol I could find. I found some tequila but I HATE tequila and the taste/smell of it makes me gag so the troubled trash panda within me paired it with some expired orange juice. But there wasn’t enough orange juice to fully mask the tequila so I added some leftover iced tea from who knows where. It was disgusting. I barely drank any of it. The roommate did not drink at all.
We started watching a movie. I thought it was going to be like the night before so I was talking and asking questions. He was being really touchy feely with me so I reminded him of our talk. He said he just wanted to make out for a little and would respect my boundary. I was hesitant but i rationalized in my head like 1. We had both agreed to not have sex 2. The past guy I’d been with and my ex-fiancé before him were both able to make out and stop when either of us didn’t feel like going all the way 3. He lives with one of my best friends and I don’t think he would do anything to hurt me in their house 4. I just want a bit of intimacy to get out of my head
So I made out with him. He kept pushing me further and further. I kept trying to turn his attention back on the movie. I said “can we please stop?” Multiple times. He was on top of me at this point and he started saying “I love you, it’s ok, I love you”. I’m starting to freak out and in my head I’m trying to figure out how to get away without upsetting him because I did not want my best friends living situation to be compromised. I was disassociating and having flashbacks of other situations I’d been in. I didn’t know if he would try to hurt me if I fought back. And then it happened. He pushed my panties aside and inserted himself. It was painful bc I wasn’t turned on. I immediately said no no no please stop I don’t want to have sex. He didn’t give me the choice or chance to use a condom (I would have ran away if he had gone to get one). He said “shhh I’m your man now. I love you. I’m your man now.” I said if you love me please stop I don’t want to do this. He put his head next to mine and didn’t say a word until he finished inside me. He didn’t say a word as he went to the bathroom and took a shower. He didn’t say a word when he got out of the shower and I ran into the bathroom to lock the door and clean myself. There was blood and I was in pain. I was in shock. I was crying. I locked myself in my friend’s bedroom.
She happened to call right as I got into her room. She asked if we were having a good night and if we wanted to come to the show still. All I could say was “things went bad. I can’t say over the phone what happened. I’m in your room. Please be safe tonight.” She sounded really worried and asked if I was ok and what happened and I just kept saying I can’t talk I can’t talk I can’t talk. She said she was leaving the show and would be right home.
When she got home I was crying in her room. I told her as much as I could manage to say. She was visibly upset and she hugged me and we both cried. I said please please I don’t want this to affect you or your rent agreement or anything I just want to forget. She said that no it was not ok what he did and now she would have to find a new place to live bc “I want my home to be a safe space”. I felt so relieved that she believed me and wasn’t judging me but I also felt deeply ashamed and embarrassed and I was so scared that her living situation was in jeopardy. I kept begging her to just leave it alone and promised I wouldn’t make a big deal of it bc I didn’t want her to be without a home. She said we would handle it later and that right now she just wanted me to be safe. A mutual friend picked me up and I spent the night at her house. I broke down as soon as we got to her house and told her everything. We cried together. We bonded. I felt safe. But I was still very worried for my friend.
The next day, my friend assured me that her roommate would not be home, so I went back to her house. I was in shock still and heavily disassociating but I managed to help my friend prepare for her trip. She asked me what happened and I told her. She was very supportive. At this point only her and the friend who picked me up knew what her roommate did. Her roommate had texted me that morning and asked if I was ok. I wrote a huge text saying what he did was wrong and that I would leave it alone as long as he didn’t retaliate against my friend. He admitted in text that he what he did was wrong and that he knew I was uncomfortable and that he was sorry for pushing himself on me.
A guy friend from our group who I’m close to texted me and asked if he could see me before I check in to the psych ward. I broke down and told him what happened. I felt like I needed a man’s perspective and I really trust him so I told him everything. He was angry, he wanted to confront the guy, I said please don’t I do not want our friend to be without a home bc of me. He agreed that he wouldn’t do anything or say anything to the roommate. This is where the AITA question comes in.
I asked my friend if our mutual guy friend could come over that night. She said “ofc he’s always welcome here he’s my best friend!” I then told her that I had told him about the incident but that he had agreed to not make a big deal out if it. She was so upset.
She said “he’s going to tell everyone (in the friend group) and now people aren’t going to see my house as a safe space anymore.” I said no he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone and that I’m just trying to work through the shame and embarrassment of what happened and that I told him bc we have the type of relationship that we help each other through things. She said i was “making everything about me” and not thinking of how this is going to affect her and her life and friendships because “the more people know the more people will not trust her or trust that her house is a space space for people”.
I was devastated. She went on to say that if I know I can’t handle myself then i shouldn’t have put myself in that situation like I did. She said why would I even talk to her roommate like I did knowing he pays the rent and any falling out with him could cause her trouble. She said I was an Ass hole for making everything about me and not thinking of how it would affect the friend group. I apologized profusely. I begged for her forgiveness. I said please don’t let this ruin what you have with your roommate and that he’d agreed in text to not let it affect her.
Our relationship was immediately strained and I just went into full disassociation mode for the rest of the day. Our guy friend came over and was so supportive I cried with him. I kept asking him if this would mean I’d be kicked out of the friend group and he said no way you didn’t do anything wrong so why would that happen? I tried to explain that I never meant to hurt anyone by saying what happened with the roommate and he said it would all be ok.
The next day I helped my friend do the last prepping for her trip and she left. I went into the psych ward. Our guy friend and the friend I stayed with the night of the incident visited me while I was in the hospital. I kept expressing to him how anxious I was about losing my friends in this way and how I wish I could just go back in time and never have told anyone. He kept reassuring me that everything would be ok and that our friend isn’t mad at me that she still loves me and everything will be ok.
When I got out of the psych ward my friend was back from her trip and I went to her house to pick up the rest of my things. We were going to have one more night together before I went home. I was feeling more confident in myself and trusted our friendship would be ok. She had to leave for a couple hours and her roommate came home while she was gone.
I was riding that post-grippy sock “high” and felt like I had to talk to the roommate face to face just to get closure that he wouldn’t retaliate against my friend and more importantly that he wouldn’t do what he did to anyone else ever again. A different girl from the friend group was over at the time but she was on the phone in the living room. I talked to the roommate in the hall right outside of his bedroom door. I don’t think I was being loud but I did get emotional and cry as I told him basically what I’d said in text. I didn’t think the girl friend in the living room would hear our conversation but I thought even if she did she would go to the other room or at least out of ear shot. I didn’t know she was actually recording what I was saying and sending it to our friend. I got the closure I needed from the roommate. He seemed genuinely upset and sorry and I accepted his apology and his promise to never do anything like that again. I felt so good for standing up for myself bc it’s something I’ve never been able to do like that. As soon as he shut his door after our conversation my friend called me, furious, and said she was going to be home and that we need to talk bc I just “deeply disrespected her and her friend”.
I freaked out. I ran down the street and hid in an alley. I tried calling another friend to pick me up bc it was too late to take a train home. When my friend got home she texted me to come inside and talk to her. I was hyperventilating at this point and trying not to have a panic attack. I texted her back and said “What did I do wrong? All I did was get closure with [roommate]. I stood up for myself. I made him apologize. Why are you upset?”
This was her reply: “It’s more so about the approach of things dude. There are other people in this house that shouldn’t be subjected to the energy that is being output. It’s another disruption in my home. Like no-one thinks about the awkwardness that comes with all this drama. Like go have a talk in his car. That shouldn’t be happening around here. I’m glad you stood up for yourself but take that outside. [mutual friend] should not have had to sit in there like that while you were scolding [roommate]. It’s unfair to put more people into this already awkward fucked up situation. I’m not mad just disappointed that my space is being disrupted so much by this situation.”
I replied: “I didn’t involve anyone. I specifically said do not take any of this out on you in any way and he agreed. I felt strong after asserting myself. I didn’t know you were trying to keep it from [mutual friend] otherwise I would’ve never said anything in her presence. I just felt safe and empowered to tell him how I really hurt from what happened. I thought I was doing the right thing and standing up for myself while also keeping your space safe. I’m sorry “
She replied: “If you don’t want to come in and have an actual conversation I will only address this right now and I’m over it. I’m glad you stood up for yourself I’m just disappointed that you are continuing to have that energy in my home after it already causing a huge issue with multiple people. This has become an issue for all of us. I have brought you into my home to gain some peace not for more of this chaotic energy to be invited in to linger long after you leave. We all actively live here and have to feel this uncomfortable energy when you are gone. As a guest in our home I expect the mannerisms to be more thought out for the community both just one self. My home is a communal environment so one thing affects us all and I don’t think you are understanding that. I’m glad you stood up for yourself it just didn’t need to happen inside the home. Same concept as a house party if there is a problem take it outside and solve it. Those types of things don’t need to be handled in the space I provide as a safe space for not just yourself but for MULTIPLE humans. We all have so much of our own things on our plates that when we come home we just want to relax not have to deal with this exact thing here. I love you and don’t want our friendship to feel strained because the proper boundaries are not being respected.”
I went back to her house. She said all the things she said in text to me in person but with more anger. I was crying and apologizing over and over. The night ended with me crying myself to sleep on her couch. When I woke up I apologized to our mutual friend and I apologized to the roommate. My friend then drove me home.
This was a few months ago. Since then I’ve been basically cut out of the friend group. My friend no longer calls me everyday nor do I call her. We’ve hung out a couple of times but just to use the car I have access to to run her errands with her. For my bday last week I invited myself to lunch in the town they live in and asked all the girls from the group if they would come. Most did. We had a great time but I’m still on the “outside” of the group. I see on Snapchat that they still have girls nights all the time, the friend group hangs out all the time, my friend is back with the guy who broke her heart, they are all doing great. The two girls who know about what happened still hang out with the roommate and the whole friend group uses him for rides and uses his car. My friendship with the group is limited to the occasional Snapchat reply. The guy friend I confided in said he was told by our friend that “I was all over her roommate the night before the incident and she definitely had sex with him the first night so idk why she’s crying about the second night”. My guy friend said he still doesn’t think what happened to me was right bc “no means no” but he’s mostly stopped talking to me too.
Am i the asshole for handling the situation like I did?
I want more than anything to be friends again especially with the woman I said became like my big sister. In her text and the last night we talked about the incident she said she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Would I be the asshole thrice if I asked her to sit down and talk things out with me? I don’t want to lose my friends. I’m trying to heal but I don’t know how.

By: Steven Zilberg
https://schizopoet.blog/2024/05/29/day-in-the-life-of-steven-the-schizophrenic/
—
This experience is of my own. I don’t speak on behalf of anyone nor a group of people. What I struggle with might be similar but schizophrenia is different for everyone. I hope this post and video educates those who wish to know more about schizophrenia.
On any given day, I might wake up at 3am or 10am. Depends how well the trazadone has worked. Secondly, it depends on how loud, annoying, and obscene the voices are; I might try to lay in bed and ignore them, but it never works.
You are worthless You are a bitch You cant be loved You are broken You are nothing You are pathetic You are ugly You are dangerous
I have to get up sooner or later. I force myself out of bed. Voices rumbling for attention. I might be one of the few who hallucinate visually and auditory at the same time. Most schizophrenics have one or the other but for me they both appear at the same time (as of late). I wake up and find visitors in my room. Xavier has been with me since the start of my illness. She dresses like the lead actress in the movie Pretty Woman. She walks the red-light district during the hours I am sleeping.
When she shows up, I know it is going to be a party. She’s 5 foot 7 inches. Caramel brown skin. Black lipstick. Perfectly wavy hair down to the middle of her back. Pristine figure. She’s a bitch though. Always trash talking. Aggressive. I wake up to Xavier every morning. As I get dressed, brush my teeth, and take my morning medications.
My morning routine consists of getting coffee at Midnight Suns Cafe. Michael I would describe as Steve Erkel. He meets me in my booth every morning. Voices still present but Michael is one of the few good ones. He attempts to keep me in the present. It doesn’t last long due to Xavier pushing him over and taking his place. Feet on the table and legs spread trying to receive as much attention as possible.
I order my coffee. As I return to the table Lita appears. She’s argumentative and two-faced. She’s just a step below Xavier when it comes to the ‘bad ones’. Lita wears black high heels, business skirt, with a white unbuttoned button up, and a red bra.
I am trying to focus on my coffee. You can imagine with the voices, Xavier, Michael, and Lita it could be difficult. Xavier and Lita are very good at making sure Michael stays silent. They do a good job. During my coffee time, I usually sketch, write, or read.
The next part of my day depends on several factors. Friends. Am I invited to hang out with anyone? Lunch? Dinner? Game night? Painting? Thrifting? Any of these options include my voices and the three stooges following along. For example, let’s say I was invited out for grocery shopping by a friend of mine. We enter Fred Myers all five of us. I try my best to concentrate on my friend and not my schizophrenia. We place fruits and veggies in our cart. Xavier is playing with cucumbers and imitating the act of pegging. Lita has grabbed a couple bananas and is showing off blowjob skills. Michael is following next to me helping me concentrate on my friend.
It is rough to go about life with so many distractions. As my friend and I check-out, Xavier and Lita are yelling and screaming for attention. My hallucinations are calling me every despicable name they can think of; this would be an example of a routine afternoon for myself.
Now for the evening, this also depends on if I am invited out or not. We will say I was invited out by two friends for dinner. We decide on eating at MyThai because they are one of the best Thai places in town. We are sitting at a table the three of us. My voices are going haywire and are trying to distract me. Xavier, Lita, and Michael are sitting at three different tables surrounding our table.
They don’t like you They pity you They are just going to use you They are going to leave you like everyone does
Attempting to eat dinner while distracted by so much noise. Now imagine working, how hard it would be to battle Xavier and Lita on a daily basis? Damn near impossible. I used to be younger. Times when I was able to handle some of or most of my schizophrenia but now that I am older, I just don’t have the brain power (or will power).
Now that dinner is over, I am on my way home after saying goodbye to friends. It is 8pm. Sun still up in Anchorage. I can’t go to bed it is too early. Xavier and Lita have shutdown Michael. He was gagged with a pair of Xavier’s panties. Xavier and Lita invite me to the Broken Blender. It has been a long day of fighting and defending myself. By this time, I am tired and exhausted. I agree to a few drinks.
I knock back a few Modelos. I get it. No one wants to talk to me. No boy. No girl. I am schizophrenic. I don’t blame them. Xavier and Lita are dancing on the bar half naked. I return home around 9:30pm. Voices running rampant. Michael has been ungagged. He checks on me. Makes sure I am alright. I get to my room. Brush my teeth and take a shower. I take my medications as prescribed. Sadly, it doesn’t help as much as I want it to; Xavier and Lita hang back by the door. They are proud of themselves. Michael tries to soothe my anxiety. Xavier and Lita walk over to my bedside.
it is time to sleep bitch tomorrow is going to be fun just you wait maybe we will get you to kill yourself no one will miss you you are a pathetic little bitch
I eventually fall asleep despite all the noise. Xavier, Lita, and Michael are just three of the many visual hallucinations I have named. I have been told that I shouldn’t name my hallucinations because it gives ‘life’ to them, but I don’t know what else to do if they seem so real. This is what I experience on a daily basis. This is why it is almost impossible to function ‘normally’. This is why it is nearly impossible to work or to ‘date’. I hope this helps you understand schizophrenia a little bit more.

mentalhealth #mindfulness #spirituality #schizophrenia #schizoposting #schizophreniaawareness #mentalhealthawareness #schizoaffectivedisorder #lgbtqi #dayinthelife

I (28F) have been dating my boyfriend (28M) for almost 6 years with one year long breakup after an issue with infidelity on his end. I gave him another chance and things have been going great.
We had decided to take things slow when we got back together (a little over a year ago), so we didn’t move in together right away and a couple months before my lease was up we started looking for a place. I was slowly starting to move some of my stuff into his place as my lease will be up a couple weeks before his and we won’t be able to move into our new place until that time.
With summer basically already here, I was getting my winter stuff into the little bit of storage I could in his apartment and stumbled across a drawer with two pairs of my panties that had long gone missing.
For context, the drawer is one of those long and deep under the bed drawers. The panties were directly in front, you could see the red fabric clearly by only opening the drawer a couple of inches.
I asked him about it and he seemed embarrassed and said I had left them at his place when we broke up and that he would “use them” when he missed me or was “thinking” about me during his um…personal time.
I might be an absolute weirdo for this, but I thought that was kind of sweet so I told him to keep them. He had said he’s never done anything like that before and he was too embarrassed to tell me.
Fast forward to moving day. He had to work that morning, but we had almost everything already packed and ready to go, so I was just supposed to stay with the movers and unlock necessary doors and stuff. He said that when he got done with work he would deal with the bed frame thing since it was so bulky and required power tools to take apart.
Everything got moved much more quickly than anticipated (we were just moving across our small town), so I thought I’d start the process of moving the bed frame.
When I pulled out the drawers I found, in the very back, 10 pairs of women’s panties (not including the two of mine in front) and a uniquely patterned pair of bikini bottoms. I quickly put the drawers back and reverted to the original plan and waited for him to get done with work.
I have not brought up finding the full contents of the drawer, but did sort of revert to my old 2AM-mental instability-spiral routine of online stalking the girl he cheated on me with a few years ago and found a picture of her wearing the bikini bottoms. This was bad enough, but she was wearing them on a vacation that took place (or was at least posted) a weekend he was out of town for (what he told me was) work, and she has since then not worn them in two other bathing suit posts.
I have fully convinced myself that he’s cheated again despite only having a drawer of clothing items and an Instagram post that very well could have been posted long after the picture was taken.
No panties have been added to the collection, and I still haven’t said anything to him about it despite him asking multiple times if something is bothering me.
I guess I’m asking for advice on what I should do now
Edit for both context and a sort of update:
Her instagram post was captioned “over a year of being sunburnt” and was a kinda photo dump of multiple trips, with the time frame of our break up it’s a very real possibility that they were together while we weren’t and she is just now posting them (although it would have had to be literal days before we reconciled officially).
We live in a small town and my best friend is dating her (the girl my bf cheated with*****)’s brother, so I’ve enlisted her to dig for some info.
I’ve also taken photos and screenshots which I intend to print out, and write up a sort of script type thing or notes to confront him.
It’s not lost on me that this is at best incredibly creepy and dishonest, and at worst dangerous and perverted.
I have already started looking into alternative living arrangements (which is why I initially reached out to my best friend, and will be staying with her)
UPDATE: I didn’t expect this post to get as much attention as it has and I do really appreciate the different perspectives.
I did text him saying that I think we need some time apart, and am currently sitting on my friends couch.
I messaged the girl asking if she and I could talk, but have not gotten a response yet. Previously when he cheated, she was under the impression that he and I had broken up and I have never been rude or angry towards her as she was lied to in that situation as well.
I don’t see this relationship working out because either way he has lied to me. Whether he has a panty fetish, is cross dressing, or whatever else has been discussed in the comments; when confronted initially he said he had never done that before. Either he was honest then and has since acquired the panties (with or without physically cheating again), or he lied then and that wasn’t the first time.
I’m not really sure what my next steps will be, because we still have 11 months in this lease, but I will be talking with the property manager tomorrow.
I’m currently trying to figure out what the best course of action is as far as breaking up. Whether to have a conversation and laying it all out there, leaving him to figure out why I’m leaving on his own, or what.
I will say already did take mine back and tossed them in the dumpster. If I find out when she messages me back that he stole the bottoms from the other girl I feel it’s safe to assume he took them all without permission, and I will be discarding them.

So this is my story , I honestly need advice and for someone to understand me. Here goes nothing ! Back in 2013 I was in a relationship with a guy (Jake ) & he had a child’s mother ( Layla ) . At first I was cordial with Layla because Jake lived with me. However Jake turned out to be a HUGE whore. Well more of a bum . So a bummy whore. Layla wanted her family with him which I understood however he was my boyfriend. She would use the baby to get him to be with her while I was at work. Layla would purposefully post like they were in a relationship knowing that he lived with me . I would attempt to break up with him , he would just beg and tell me lies. I was 20 and stupid. I stayed until one day I was fed up of the back and forth and explained to Jake I was done with the back and forth between Layla & I. At that moment he put a play in action to get me pregnant. He succeeded. I was completely mortified at the fact I was now stuck with this situation. When I posted my pregnancy my car window was busted out . This is where the stalking started. I noticed every hair style I wore she would copy & the outfits , my poses for pictures. Even vacations I took with my kids . I found messages between Layla & Jake . She asked him “what is it about Sophie? That you won’t leave her alone.” My mind was blown that’s not normal for me . After I left Jake for good it didn’t matter . Layla & her friends would watch all of my social media platforms. They constantly bullied me online . Called my phone and told me they hoped my baby would be mentally challenged. Layla had her brother shoot at my new car. She told people she would come to the hospital and punch me off of the hospital bed after I gave birth. The whole time this is taking place . She’s filing restraining orders on me lying to the police trying to have me put in jail. I moved 45 minutes away to get some peace. However that didn’t last they couldn’t physically drive past my house but used social media to harass me. Any guy I was seen with Layla tried to date or even sleep with. I started dating another guy and thought I was free aside from the shade being thrown on the internet. Well that didn’t last for long because once the new guy Rick’s ex Patty caught wind they became a task force bullying me everyday. I had moved back to my town however no one knew where. One day I got fed up and beat Patty up & took her phone 🫣. What I found inside was messages talking about me , pictures of me & my house. Talking about my children and trying to get me fired from my job . Layla was telling Patty my phone number . They said they were going to bully me until I unalived myself. I broke it off with Rick after the gang came to my house and busted my windows out !
I moved on & got pregnant. I thought it was over until one day I realized it wasn’t. Layla at this point spent 6 years studying my online persona. She would tell anyone she meets I’m obsessed with her while she talked , dressed & acted like me. I gained so much weight that I got a butt she went and bought one. Layla moved 10 blocks away from me & then proceeded to move her business 5 minutes away from my house . I started seeing her a the local stores & she would pull up to the pump next to me & sit in her car watching me. After doing this 7 times & reaching out to my mother who I have no relationship with . I was served with a restraining order. I went to court & she admitted in open court that in the last year i did none of the things she stated in the paperwork which got me served in the first place . The cases was dismissed. This happened in 2023 . In 2024 , 7 months later she text me asking to meet up to talk . I did thinking finally she is ready to be an adult & let this shit go ! I was WRONG AF ! She told me I was obsessed with her and I’m crazy ! She said you think about me so much your business wouldn’t be failing if you stopped caring about me . Layla then stated she doesn’t think Is “Sophie wearing panties or a bra.” She brought up my kids and how I’m struggling. Said that she wants to know what wrong with me & “are you in a competition with me”. Brought up my daughter who she’s never seen or met in real life. She knew me & my daughter’s dad wasn’t together.
I don’t want to keep going because it’s way more ! I am scared because how long does it take for someone to move on ! Advice please!!!

I’ve taken the plunge and ordered by first dress, bra, panties, stockings and breast forms. No more playing with my wife’s stuff when she is out. Looking forward to sharing the look when it all arrives.

Hello my name is Thomas and it will also be my characters name. Today I'm looking for a almost no limit multiple girl slave/ blackmail roleplay. If this interests you then read below and select which one interests you the most.
Prompt 1- I am a honor student at one of the best college academies in the world. This college has been a top 3 college ever since it was founded and no one really has an idea how. The reason why is because they make sure their brightest and highest testing students are rewarded well and taken care of. The students who can't keep up become their slaves. Even professors can find themselves enslaved to students if they can't keep a good collective score in their class. Of course money helps as well anyone who donates money to the school can be well rewarded for doing so with a slave or more depending on the amount. And since the people own the slaves there is no running for them on or off campus they are slaves to their owner. They can be traded, bet, given away or more.
For my character, I would be new to the school and have just aced my entrance exam along with that I belong to a rich family which have donated a big sum of money already.I am the first to do it so the headmaster of the school rewards me with my first slave. She wants me to choose if I wish for a younger slave or older slave. This can become a more opened up long term world where I form a no limits harem
Prompt 2- Student's Pet- You are a Professor at my college and one day while I was leaving campus late I passed by your car. I was just going to walk past but I stopped because I noticed some movement through the window. I looked through the window and saw you had your eyes closed but not only that you were rubbing your pussy through the jeans you wore today before taking them off slowly and starting to rub it through your panties as you moan a bit. I stood there watching before pulling my phone out and starting to record it to jerk off to later. About 3 minutes into the recording you start to unbutton your jeans and grope your own breasts. Continuing to get this all on recording I immediately stop when I look to the side and see someone coming. I stop the recording and put my phone away before jogging past your car and accidentally hitting it. You stopped what you were doing and button your jeans back up and open your door not seeing anyone but now noticing the person approaching. You start your car and then head home and while I'm walking home I review the video I got from recording you.
Prompt 3- Foreign Exchange Fun- You are a foreign exchange college student staying at my house that i agreed to when I registered at the college. Prior to when you came you had agreed to pay rent and everything needed. 3 months in and you don't have the money for the rent nor anything else anymore but have nowhere else to go. I wake up hitting the snooze button on my phone alarm. I start to get up wiping my eyes early in the morning 4 in the morning to be exact. I go to the shower running the water straight cold and I look in the mirror. I. Then turn and hop in the shower for 15 mins before getting out and putting of some dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt. You didn't pay your rent yesterday but I didn't say anything no, instead today you will pay the rent one way or another. I grab another outfit from a bag. It's one that is meant for a girl, it's a black lingerie one piece around, and the collar is fuzzy white fur and the lingerie comes along with some cat ears. I open my door heading to your room knocking on the door heavy and loud knowing you are still asleep "Hey we have to talk, you never paid this month's rent. I'm gonna leave something in front of your door, put it on and come talk to me in the kitchen." I drop the outfit in front of your door heading to the kitchen, pulling out two pans and then some eggs and bacon
Prompt 4- I woke up early as always and got up slowly heading into the bathroom and starting a cold shower. I got undressed from my night clothes and hopped in waking myself up with the cool water. About five minutes later I got out and looked in the mirror as I used a towel to dry my face and that's when I noticed a strange mark on the right side of my chest. "What the hell?" I question it as I hover over it with my fingers and a few memories flash through my mind of the night before mainly of a girl saying to use the power however I decided it was necessary. And then I passed out waking up in my bed. Shrugging it off I got dressed fully and grabbed my stuff to leave for my college classes of the day
This prompt is based on a anime called Code Geass. My character will be blessed with the power of the geass but in different ways. He can activate it with by his words or he can invade your mind and place what he wants into you mind to make you do it. Now what I do with this power is completely up to us.
Prompt 5- I took the lockbox out from underneath my bed. I had no clue what it said it was obviously from out of this world. I opened the box and inside was a chemistry setup of some sorts used to mix together different injections. It had a few recipes inside and the ingredients seemed to be infinite. It had four injections inside originally and when I used it on one of my friends by accident I was surprised that they listened to anything I said. I was slowly starting to decipher the clearly alien language and learned that the injections currently inside were syrumes that injected nanites into the person's body and the injector could control them in any way. Look at the other recipes the names were suggesting different things such as body altercations, a simple syrume making a person act like a chosen animal to even one that cause a instant but painful death. I sighed as I took out one of the syrumes that let me control someone and then put it in my pocket as I got ready to leave for my boring nine to five job
This roleplay is different from above but I want my character to find a alien chemistry mixing station of sorts. It allows me to make all types of syrumes that could alter my life in wonderful ways and others in wonderful ways If I chose or horrible ways if I chose that instead.
Prompt 6- This is a very different prompt. I was in a one on one gm style roleplay a while back and she is still very busy now so she can't roleplay as much. However I loved it and am looking for someone to start a new one with
So, the roleplay would be based on the webcomic/webnovel and now anime solo leveling. However, my character would be awakened as nothing like any other. I would be awakened with the class/job of fuckboy or something similar. Then I would go through the world trying to make my class works. I'd get skills based around manipulating and fucking women to help me in dungeons and out of dungeons.
If you have read it all and made it this far thank you for reading. I do appreciate it since there is alot to read here but in smaller buts basically. If you are interested in any of them or have your own idea then message me please. As you can tell slavery and the such is big for me and along with that so is free use and other kinks like that. Every roleplay in my list will all not be straight smut as well they all have a slice of life portion to them. I hope to hear from you all soon.

I was diagnosed with Vulvodynia in October 2023 after I had a BV infection that was treated incorrectly with anti fungal yeast infection creams. Then I was put on BV antibiotics for 15 days and still felt zero relief. I went to my primary care and she didn't know what to do so she tried to help me get into a gynecologist but everything was a 3 month wait. I managed to get into a gynecologist who was an old male doctor and he didn't even want to test me for infection. He told me to not wear "panties" and id be fine..
About 1 month later I was still in insane pain, unable to sleep from how bad the burning was. Couldn't get out of bed for days and couldn't find a doctor who was willing to help me. I was spending hours and hours every night looking on this exact forum trying to find a solution. This was when I finally convinced my primary care to help me get into a gynecologists office that specializes in vulvo pain. (I do not recommend this place at all, MUSC)
At my first appointment they told me "it's probably your laundry detergent and take these antihistamines. Let's also put you on birth control for your PCOS!" the antihistamines did nothing to help as it wasn't an allergic reaction. they told me no infection was present even though I had the discharge, oder, and pain all still from my previous positive BV test a month prior.
I called in a week later begging for help, or something to stop the pain as it was unbearable. They told me "you have vulvodynia which you will have forever and the only form of treatment is anxiety medication" (I was already on anxiety medication so this wasn't a treatment that was helping me for vulvodynia) They mentioned they had a doctor in office who specializes in vulvodynia so they got me an appointment but it took another 2 months to see him and in the meantime they put me on steroid cream. (highly don't recommend, this stuff burned so badly and I believe caused more issues rather than healing)
This was the worst 2 months of my life waiting for this appointment, scrolling this forum, hoping to find answers. When I showed up to the gynecologist who specializes in vulva pain, I brought my dad along with me. (obviously was NOT in the room during the appointment. But was there to help me stand up for myself to doctors. Which I highly recommend bringing a partner or family member with you to help advocate) After this doctor did a swab for infection he stepped out of the room and decided to talk to my dad while I got dressed again. This doctor talked to us in his office and said "you have vulvodynia. lets put you on an SSRI for your anxiety" I was confused because I never mentioned my anxiety, and usually for Vulvodynia you treat it with SNRIs, but he told me this SSRI would cure me. I believe he believed I only had vulvodynia from anxiety or trauma, yet I KNEW something more was going on.
When I got home I went to the MyChart website to view the notes this gynecologist put in the system and he marked me as having "high PH, not enough good bacteria, + 'her mom died when she was 14 so she's suffering from trauma" I sat there dumbfounded because at the appointment he said there was "nothing wrong" yet in the chart I had high PH and not enough good bacteria. I sent him an email and I asked him "how can I fix my PH and get more good bacteria?" because high PH, not enough good bacteria, abnormal discharge AND fishy order were all BV symptoms that I had and indicate an infection. He called me the next day and told me "haha well yeah but here's the thing. Go to college, work in a lab, and if you find the answer, let me know." then "wished" me luck. My dad heard this phone call and was so upset too.
This is where I was in pain for about 7 months. The burning hurt so badly and I could never wish that on ANYONE. I ended up taking just a generic SNRI anxiety medication that focuses on nerve pain so I could find a real cure in the mean time. Here were my symptoms and here is what I did to cure my vulvodynia. (I am not a doctor and everyone is different. its all about trying new things to help!)
I did one of those vulva microbiome tests online where you send in a swab and it tells you what bacteria are there. it showed me having 85% bad bacteria and 15% good bacteria. My recent visits to the gynecologist showed me having High PH during month 1's visit, month 3's, and month 6.
!!! I treated it by giving my body what it needed to heal. I am almost 100% positive that taking Vitamin D and K2 drops daily cured my vulvodynia which I never thought was going to be possible. !!!
I was taking Vitamin D, along with my SNRI. I only took the SNRI for 1.5 months to let my nerves calm down. I still am not sure if the SNRI did anything or if it was a placebo but I continued to take it while I healed my body.
I had tried cotton underwear because I heard it helps lower risk of infections but I found them to hurt me as they were scratchier than my no-show underwear. So instead, I wore no underwear while I was home. Only loose sweatpants/sweatshorts at home. I would wear no-show underwear if I went to town in jeans so this helped minimize friction and irritation.
When I would shower, I only used a bunch of water externally until I felt like I was clean. This was hard for me to do as I was using non-scented soap externally because I couldn't stand not feeling clean. But only using water helped wash away everything that needed to be cleaned, but would leave my body's natural oils causing the area to heal. Stripping the oils with soap felt like it was causing more problems at this time.
Long story short to anyone who just wants an answer: I believe I cured my vulvodynia with Vitamin D + Vitamin K2 drops, short term SNRI, wearing no underwear when I could, avoiding clothes that would touch the area to avoid any friction, no soap and only water!
It has been almost 2 months of me feeling NO PAIN at all. I don't take the SNRI's anymore, I can wear any clothes I want, I use soap sometimes but still try to avoid it. The only thing I still do is take Vitamin D.
I have had maybe 1 flair up within the past 2 months that lasted like 3 hours but I believe it was triggered by IC bladder pain. After drinking a bunch of water and avoiding vitamin C the pain went away! If anyone has questions I'll answer any. I had zero help and only bad experiences from gynecologist's in my area. It wasn't until I cured myself that I found an amazing gynecologist who has been so sweet so I am thankful to know I'll be able to go to her if I have any issues in the future. Trust that the universe will help guide you to the answers you need. I thought I was going to be in that terrible pain forever but trust me you will find something that helps you and it may just be on a random Tuesday when you least expect it.

At your cervical screening (smear test) appointment, a nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix using a small, soft brush. The test only takes a few minutes.
Booking your cervical screening appointment
If you are registered with a GP, you will get a letter telling you it is time for your cervical screening appointment. You have to contact your GP to book an appointment. You can usually do this online or over the phone.
In some areas, sexual health clinics offer cervical screening. You may choose to contact your local clinic if you aren’t able to access, or don’t feel comfortable at, your GP surgery.
Appointment times
Many GP surgeries offer cervical screening appointments on set days or at set times. If you can’t attend any of the available appointments, speak to your GP surgery to see if they can be flexible for you.
Things to think about before booking

• Write down any questions you want to ask, such as what safety measures they have in place or if your GP surgery any specific instructions for you.
• It is best not to book a cervical screening when you have your period because it can make it harder to get a result.
• You should try not to use spermicide or oil-based lubricant (lube) for 24 hours before the test, as they can affect the results.

What happens at the GP surgery?
Plan to spend at least 30 minutes at your GP surgery, which may include waiting for your appointment or being directed to the room. The test itself, where your nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix, will only take a few minutes.
Arriving at your GP surgery
Your GP surgery will give you details about what to do once you arrive.
Although face coverings are no longer mandatory in healthcare settings, you can still choose to wear one if you wish
Your cervical screening appointment
A nurse, sometimes called a sample taker, will invite you into a treatment room. They will explain what cervical screening is and check if you have any questions.
Personal protective equipment (PPE)
Your GP surgery will follow local guidance about wearing PPE. If your nurse is wearing PPE, this may include a mask, gloves and apron.
Your cervical screening test
Your nurse will give you a private space to undress from the waist down, usually behind a curtain. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, you can leave this on and just take off your underwear.
Someone having cervical screening
Your nurse will ask you to lie on an examination bed and give you a new, clean paper sheet to cover the lower half of your body. You can lie:

• on your back with your legs bent up, your ankles together and your knees apart
• on your left side with your knees bent.

Your nurse will let you know when the test is about to start. First, they gently put a new, clean speculum into your vagina. A speculum is usually a plastic cylinder with a round end – sometimes a metal speculum is used. The speculum is the part that some people find uncomfortable.
Once the speculum is inside your vagina, the nurse will gently open it so they can see your cervix.
Then the nurse will use a small, soft brush to quickly take a sample of cells from your cervix. This may feel a bit strange, but should not be painful.
The nurse will put your sample of cells into a small plastic container (vial) of liquid. The liquid preserves the cells so they can be sent to a lab for testing.
And that’s it! The nurse will take the speculum out of your vagina and give you a private space to dress again. They will explain how and when you should get your results.
After your cervical screening appointment
Most people can continue their day as usual after the appointment.
You may have some light bleeding (spotting) for a day after the test, so it can help to wear a sanitary pad or panty-liner.
Your cervical screening results should arrive by post within 4 weeks.
Cervical screening appointment FAQs
Does cervical screening hurt?
Everyone’s experience of cervical screening is different. Some people don't find it uncomfortable, while for others it may be uncomfortable or hurt. There are lots of reasons, physical and pyschological, for this. It is important to tell your nurse or doctor if cervical screening is painful for you.
If you want to go for cervical screening, there are ways to make the test more comfortable and make sure you get the right support.

Cervical screening tips
Everyone has a different experience of cervical screening. If you are looking for ways to make cervical screening (a smear test) better for you, there are lots of things you can try. On this page, we talk through different tips. The tips on this page are for everyone, although you may feel some are not right for you. It may take a while to try a few things before finding something that works for you.
Talk to your nurse or doctor
If it is your first cervical screening, you feel embarrassed or worried, you have had a bad experience before, or you have experienced anything that makes the test hard for you, telling the person doing the test means they can try to give you the right support. If you don’t feel comfortable saying something, try writing it down.
Ask for the first appointment of the day
If you feel uncomfortable in waiting rooms, you may want to ask to book the first appointment of the day. This can mean it is quieter and there is less time for you to wait.
Ask to book a longer or double appointment
Having more time before, during or after cervical screening can help people take in information about the test and process everything that happens. If this would be useful for you, you may want to check if your GP surgery can offer you a longer appointment.
The receptionist may ask why you need a longer appointment – remember, you do not have to disclose anything.
Ask for a nurse or doctor of a particular gender
You may feel more comfortable knowing that a female or male nurse will be doing your cervical screening. If you have a nurse or doctor you trust, you may want to check with your GP surgery if they are able to do it.
Take someone you trust with you
If it would help or you need assistance, you can ask if someone can come with you. It could be a friend, family member, partner or someone else. They can be in the waiting room or examination room with you to offer support. They may also be able to speak on your behalf about any worries.
If a trusted person isn’t able to come to the appointment, you can check if another member of staff can be with you for support. This person is sometimes called a chaperone.
Wear a skirt or dress
If you feel comfortable wearing a skirt or dress, it may help you feel more covered. You can keep it on during the test and only take off your underwear.
You do get a paper sheet to cover yourself. If you would like to, you can also ask if you can bring a spare shawl or blanket too.
Ask for a smaller speculum
Speculums come in different sizes. If you find the standard size too uncomfortable, you can ask to try another size.
Put the speculum in yourself
You may feel more relaxed and comfortable about putting the speculum in your vagina yourself. If you have a partner with you, you may prefer them to put the speculum in.
Lie in a different position
Lying on your back may feel uncomfortable for lots of reasons. You can ask to lie on your left hand side with your knees bent (left lateral position).
Use post-menopausal prescriptions
If you have gone through or are going through the menopause, let your doctor or nurse know. After menopause, the opening of the vagina and vaginal walls become less able to stretch, which can make the test more uncomfortable. You can ask your nurse to give (prescribe) you a vaginal oestrogen cream or pessary, which may help.
Ask to be referred to colposcopy
Sometimes the nurse may not be able to see your cervix. This could be because you have a tilted cervix, cervical stenosis (where the vagina narrows) or something else. It does not mean there is anything to worry about. The nurse may suggest you go to a colposcopy department for cervical screening, as they have equipment like adjustable beds that can help when trying to see the cervix.
Visit a specialist cervical screening clinic
Some people prefer to go for cervical screening in a clinic that meets their needs.
If you have experienced sexual violence, the charity My Body Back has clinics in London and Glasgow. The London clinic is for people living anywhere in the UK, and the Glasgow clinic is for people living in Scotland. My Body Back clinics are now open, so please contact them to book your appointment.

I started working as a substitute and I love it. I love working with little ones because they get excited about stuff and I don’t feel the need to mask. I had to go back to working to a cafe to make ends meet and wound up having 1 day off a week for about month or so now? Time is beyond me.
Anyway, it’s a big store. The cafe team is relatively small, but it’s inside a larger store with so many workers. It’s a lot of people to make small talk with and say hello and all
I’m usually good at masking (to my own detriment), but I’ve been crashing a bit. I’ve been struggling with eye contact a bit more lately. I just know that I’ve accidentally pigeon holed myself into the “weird barista” coworker.
For the most part, my immediate coworkers are fine. Most as are the retail workers, but I feel just barely human lately. Well, on Sunday I worked with manager. He didn’t talk to me much, and when I’d try to make conversation it was short. I couldn’t tell if he was sending me being a little overwhelmed. I did come in with a possible stress rash on my face and early on apologized if I seemed off. I said I was burnt out this week.
Anyway, the others came for shift change and he lit up. So it was just around me. They pretty loudly was talking with the others about how they were going to go to the beach on Monday and to make sure to tell the others and text so and so like… right behind me like earshot away. I honestly would’ve declined the invite because I was exhausted, but I felt incredibly left out and ostracized.
Then, before leaving he asked to talk to me privately. He told me that they were go to implement a no mid drift code. Apparently the owner complained about how he saw the lining of my panties and he didn’t want me to be approached by anyone else and didn’t want me to feel singled out.
I felt shitty, because like… all the other girls wear crop tops. Except, they’re all super skinny and I’m the only thick girl there. Maybe I wore the wrong pants, I suppose I should’ve worn a belt, but like… I was that unsightly that decidedly that was the moment they were going to put a dress code? I drove back home in tears because nog only did i feel overstimulated all day, but I was inadvertently made to feel bad about my body
The girls are all very sweet to me, but like I feel awkward around people I don’t directly work with and now I feel weird with my manager. I’m not the most social person at least not with people I don’t know well. I’m paid to serve coffee with a smile, not to entertain. I just feel icky and sad and like just idk I’m almost 30 and in some ways i feel old there, and in others i feel lonely.
im working on becoming an RBT and once i get a job, im leaving the service industry for good.

When I graduated from high school I had a shitty job working at Dollar General. There's really not a lot of job opportunities in a small town with no real education. I couldn't afford to go to college or even get my own place.
Suffice it to say, I was desperately looking for better opportunities. I eventually found a job posting for an executive assistant for the CEO of the biggest employer in my town. It said you needed a college degree but I didn't understand why, since I figured it was just getting coffee and stuff like that.
So I applied for the job, hoping to at least get an interview. To my disappointment, the next day I got an automated rejection email. "Whatever," I thought, "probably wouldn't have gotten the job anyway."
About a week later, I was surprised to see an email directly from the CEO inviting me in for an interview. I immediately accepted and he scheduled an interview for the next week. For the whole week leading up to the interview, I was excited but getting more and more nervous by the day.
The day of the interview, I woke up super early so I had plenty of time to get ready. I showered then shaved damn near every part of me. I even shaved my pussy for the first time ever. Then I had to choose my outfit. I decided on a white blouse, shawl, skirt, and thigh-high stockings, thong, push-up bra, and heels. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought I looked pretty good.
When I got to the office, I realized that looked like a fat whore compared to the other women there. They were all so thin and in shape, wearing what looked to be expensive outfits. Meanwhile I was standing there in a cheap blouse and skirt that barely covered my ass when I bent over.
As I was lead to the CEOs office by the receptionist, I could feel the men stating at me and the women judging me. The receptionist told me to take a seat and he'd be with me shortly before she shut the door. A couple minutes later, he walked in an introduced himself.
He was not at all what I expected. He was a little but older than my dad but he looked like he was in really good shape and was much more handsome. Then he sat down behind his desk and the interview started.
He started off asking me questions about normal questions before gently probing more personal questions. I was super nervous, blushing and stammering my way through. It didn't help that he was staring at my tits the whole time. Eventually he asked if I had a boyfriend and whether I was a virgin!
By that point in my life, I had no experience at all. As the 'fat girl' in high school, I'd never even been asked out. I thought about sex all the time, but never had the opportunity. When I told him that he seemed like that was the answer he wanted to hear. What he said next changed my life forever.
"I'll be frank, Janine, you are utterly unqualified for this position. However, I believe you have potential and want to nurture it. However, if you accept this job, you belong to me for as long as you decide to work for me. I will train you on the job as well as help put you through college. But in exchange, I own you completely."
I was floored. I sat there beet red in complete silence with my mouth hanging open. I knew what he was proposing was so wrong, but the pay was good and this might be only chance to actually go to college. But he wanted to own me, what did that even mean? Would I be his personal sex slave? The thought scared me a bit, but kind of excited me too.
"Well?" He asked, "what do you say?"
I just nodded my head, still unable to speak.
"Good, you start now. Come here."
I stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of him. He stood up and took my shawl off before unbottoning my blouse. Then he spun me around, undid my bra, and dropped it to the floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist and grabbed my tummy before moving his hands to my breasts. As he did I could feel his breath on my neck and his no hard rock pressed against my ass.
"Who's tits are these?" He asked. I still couldn't speak, and when I said nothing he pinched my ripples. "I said, who's tits are these?"
"Yours, sir" I said.
"Good girl," he said. Hearing him call me a good girl woke something in me. For the first time ever, I felt desirable. I could feel myself getting warmer and my nerves began to be replaced by butterflies. He removed his hands from my breaststroke and down my body, sliding down my skirt and thong in a single, smooth motion.
He began to rub my clip, his breath hot on my neck, and I could feel my arousal growing. He slid a finger between my now wet lips and into my virginal pussy. "And who's cunt is this?" he asked.
"Yours, sir."
"Good girl," he bent me over his desk, then spanked each ass cheek. "And who's ass is this?"
"Yours, sir." I whimpered in a combination of excitement, nerves, fear, and anticipation.
"And are you ready for me to take what's mine?" he asked while rubbing my clit and slowly sliding his thumb in my pussy.
"Yes, sir."
With that, I heard him undo his pants and let them drop to the floor. With no further ado I felt his cock slam into me, filling my virgin pussy for the first time. I yelped in both pain and surprised. He was bigger than I expected and I could feel my tight pussy being stretched.
Before I could fully comprehend this new sensation, he pulled out and slammed it into me again. He grabbed me by the hair, pulling my head up so my back was arched my boobs were hanging. "You like this don't you? This is what you really wanted, isn't it?" he said while picking up the speed while continuing to drill me.
"Yes, sir" I moaned while enjoying the feeling of his cock filling me and his balls slapping my clit. He began fucking me harder and faster, both of our pleasures building. Suddenly, he let go of my hair and grabbed my fat hips hard. He pulled all the way out before slamming into me as deep as he could and for the first time I felt a man cum in me.
When he finished filling me, he pulled out, put his pants back on, and sat down. I continued to stay bent over his desk, missing the feeling of his cock in me and craving more. As my pussy throbbed, I could feel his cum leaking out of my pussy and running down my leg.
Eventually, I stood up and began to get dressed. He grabbed my panties and said I wouldn't need them anymore and to not where them any more. When I finished getting dressed, minus my thong, he handed me a check for 500 dollars.
"Use this to buy some professional clothes. While I appreciate your outfit, it won't do for work. I'll see you at 7:30 tomorrow morning, unless you change your mind. We'll get the paperwork sorted tomorrow and your first paycheck will be next Friday."
And with that, I was clearly dismissed. I'd never felt like such a cheap whore, nor had I felt so satisfied.

One night I was playing the Sims and just casually scrolling to different apps on my phone. At the time, one of my favorite apps was Whisper. I loved reading the short thoughts and confessions people would post anonymously. This was back before OnlyFans and sites like that had caught on so it wasn't an endless barrage of people phishing for new customers the way it is now. I'm fairly shy in person so it was a way for me to have one time conversations with people about things they wouldn't otherwise talk about.
As I was scrolling, there was one post in particular that caught my eye. The post simply stated "I miss going down on a woman." That was it, straight to the point with no additional context. I could see that the poster had their location on and they were only a couple miles from me. I thought about messaging this mysterious person then thought better of it. But a couple minutes later my late-night, intrigued, bored, and horny mind changed and I sent them a message.
"How long has it been since you've last gone down on a woman?" I messaged without expecting much. At worst it would be some creep that I could just block and at best I might be able to try something I've always wanted.
"Over a year" they replied. Simple and straight-forward.
"Do you actually like to do that? None of my exes have ever gone down on me" I replied.
"I absolutely love it! The taste and smell of a woman while I'm licking their pussy is intoxicating. Especially when they cum, there's literally nothing better! I can't believe you're exes haven't gone down on you, I would much rather eat pussy than get a blowjob" Wow...I wasn't expecting a response like that. Still direct but I could tell that he meant every word.
"Actually know one's ever gone down on me before" I replied.
"Well I'd love to go down on you, if you're interested in trying it?" he said. "What do you look like?" I was expecting him to ask me what I looked like eventually and I was honestly a bit nervous about it. This guy wasn't the most talkative but he seemed like he was genuine, even enthusiastic, about going down. But I knew once I sent him a pic of me that I'd be ghosted. A short, chubby black woman with small, saggy breasts and a a small butt can't compete with most women online. I was even more nervous about if this did end up going somewhere, that he would hate how my vagina looks. I have big, puffy lips and my labia hangs down a bit.
In the end, I figured what the hell, if I want this to happen he's going to need to see me eventually. I tried taking some pics of myself in different poses and angles but just hated everyone of them. Eventually I just started looking through pics on my phone and settled on one of me in a yellow sundress with flowers.
I sent it off hoping for the best. I waited for his response with baited breathe, not even realizing that it had taken nearly 45 minutes for me to send him a pic of me from the time he asked. I waited for a response for another half hour or so before finally going to bed. I knew I would get ghosted.
When I woke up the next morning I checked my phone and was surprised to see a notification from Whisper. Curious, I opened the app to the message from him. He apologized for not responding sooner but he'd fallen asleep thinking that I'd ghosted him! He said I looked gorgeous, included a picture of himself, and said that he'd be down to go down if I was still interested. I was surprised he responded but even more surprised that he was actually handsome. He had short blond hair, some muscles but a bit chubby. Definitely taller than me though not exceptionally tall.
I messaged him back thanking him for the compliment and telling him that he looked hot. I said that I was definitely interested in meeting up at least. For the rest of the day, we chatted off and on and got to know each other a bit. Despite his first impression, he seemed like a genuinely good guy! We eventually made plans for him to come pick me up and take me to his place after work. Looking back, I can't believe I gave a random guy my address, but I'm so glad that I did!
When he got to my house, he came to the door and looked so nervous. He was even shaking a little bit. We said our hellos and hugged before we got into his car and drove to his place. When we got there he asked if I was sure I wanted to do this, he could take me back home if I changed my mind. I was nervous, but definitely excited! I said I reminded him that I didn't want to have sex but I still wanted him to go down on me.
With that, he lead me to the bedroom and we started kissing. While we were making out he pulled off my dress and when I sat on the bed he pulled off my panties. When he spread my legs he started telling my how beautiful my pussy was in between kissing my inner thighs. His kisses slowly moved down my things, closer to my now wet and musky pussy.
He planted a soft kiss on my clit then gently flicked it with his tongue. That single flick sent a shockwave all the way up my body, I'd never felt anything like that before! I let out a loud moan while he hummed in what I assumed to be pleasure. He started circling his tongue around my clit while sucking on it. While his tongue was working my clit his hands slid up my body to tease my sensitive nipples. All the while his tongue continued to explore every inch and fold of my now soaked pussy.
I completely lost myself to the feel of his tongue and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him deeper into me. As his tongue finally entered me fully I could feel his nose against my clit and it was everything I thought it would be and more. I couldn't control it was waves of pleasure washed over me over and over again. With my hands on the back of his head I humped his face over and over again while he held his tongue in me, trusting that I knew what I needed.

So a little about me first. 43 years old. Post transition mtf. Bottom surgery of 17 years ago. Full time female over 20 years ago. In a long term live together relationship with my boyfriend well over 10 years. Personally I am so happy with my life and achievements. We never really talk about my male past. His family knows my history but also never really discuss it. No reason why but I am happy with that too.
We are currently on a road trip out back Australia, just the 2 of us and it is great. A few days back we stopped for fuel and a break at a small roadhouse very remote. back on the the road after a little while, I said those toilets back there were disgusting, I have used cleaner long drop pit toilets. My boyfriend agreed. Then a little further down the road he says " do you wish you could just pee like me??".
I replied " never. I was almost going to wait and get you to stop down the road and squat behind a tree". Then as we travelled he asked a few questions about previous. I will put them into context sort of how they came out and were answered.
Q.Did you like living as a girl with a penis and does it fell right and natural to have a vagina.??/
A. No surgery down there is something I always wanted. I was in constant fear of being outed and it put many limitations on my life. They only way I was comfortable was if I was constantly tucked in panties. I mean 24/7. I got so bad that if it was ever untucked it felt so uncomfortable. I really wanted this for me. I never even had sexual plans with my vagina just wanted the penis and testicals gone. I wanted that bulge gone.
Life with a vagina is just right for me. I know I used to have a penis but never really think about. My body this way just feels like it has always been this way. I love nothing more than getting dressed, pulling p my underwear then putting on my bra, nothing more validating for me.
Q. was you scared or nervous going into surgery??
A. not so much scared. I really really wanted this done. They day before I had a few hopeful moments. Like I hope this goes well. Hope it doesn't hurt too much. Hope it is what I thought it would be. But the actual thought of no more penis and testicals was a dream actually happening. While being wheeled to surgery I did touch my penis one last time and thought to myself this is it.I did the talk a little about recovery etc
Q. have you shown many people your vagina.
A. No. Apart from recovery in Thailand where there is no privacy very few people. My local GP doctor. I have been to a few different beauty parlours over time so they staff there have seen, before I started going to the health and beauty spa monthly with his sister and circle of friends. Yeah these girls know my past and have seen. One time lying in the reclined chair, legs spread my little kitty having a haircut, one of the girls started looking closely, then all the others gathered around, one girl dropped her rope and then compared, they all started doing it, giggling and laughing. But all the comments were wow type, that looks better than mine. The one of the girls threw my robe and said cover that show piece up. Very validating for me> I also said that he is the only male apart from my doctor to see it and it is going to stay that way. he touched me on the leg and said yes that is right.
We kept travelling down the road and next question was " how far will we travel today". This was a few days ago and nothing more mentioned and life is just as great as it always it. I don't know it it was something he has wanted to ask but never did or the pee thing just came out and led to questions, but I had no trouble talking about as we are so close and never keep anything from each other.
I am just so lucky to have someone like him