Smoking electronic cigarettes collegeville

For clarification I'm 18 and smoked nicotine for 4 years. I quit twice the first time a month and second time a couple of weeks. I mostly vape but when I don't have access to one I'll find a cigarette. Or scavenge a nearby ashtray. I'm tired of this shit taking up my life when I have work, school, and college preparations. I'm constantly stressed out unless I smoke pot (don't intend to quit as it hasn't become a problem) or game. I don't get enough sleep, free time, or even time to shower every day. Honestly I feel better after this rant, but I'm thinking about hitting a vape right now and could definitely use support.

I was out with my friends and we were smoking cigarettes, when we were finished smoking we noticed a sign that said “No Smoking Firework Shop” and looking online for the penalties of smoking there I got a bit nervous. Can someone help me out here…

Where do I begin. For the purpose of this post, I will use fictious names and locations as it is ongoing, and out of respect (even though she doesn't deserve any)
My name is Daniel. I am 35 years old, and i am dying. I have a disease called systemic sclerosis. I am currently on a supplemental disability plan, until I get approved for SSI (social Security). Until then, my income is about 4K a month. I own a home but after child support and bills, NOT INCLUDING gas, food, haircuts, medical appointments, and or emergencies like my fridge just broke. (which i never go out) I am left with $260 that has to last me a month. I also have three children who I have to take care of half the time per the 50/50 agreement.
Recently, I found out my oldest, (who is 13) is not biologically mine. I decided to look into it as I had concerns for a while since my divorce as her cheating was very rampant. I also had caught her in 2017 with a man in my house, which is what prompted the divorce. But FL being a no fault state, doesn't matter. I also had to pay child support since the beginning and WHILE LEGALLY Married since 2010 because she had applied for financial support like food stamps and government assistance then. I know what your thinking. Why didnt you stop it then? I tried. You cant take yourself off child support. I also never grew up with a father and wanted that two-parent household. I don't run from responsibilities, like he did. Its how I was raised. Anyways, I married her, tried to do the right thing, she lied numerous times. she never worked, and I worked 90 plus hours a week. To look into her cheating, was impossible at the time as I was never home. and to busy providing for my family.
fast forward to now. My disease started to become worse and over three years; it didn't reveal itself until last year fully to actually pinpoint what this was. for instance, I had in 2019 pain behind my eyes and horrible headaches to the point that I thought I had MS. following year, I had trouble swallowing for 3 months. next year itching in the skin for three months. But prior, I had visited various doctors to see what was going on, each time a flare up then would last 3 to four months, which again, when you don't understand what's going on, you need to take time off to go see doctors, run tests, but this illness was and still is very elusive. with that being said I had 5 jobs since its first flare up till last year to continue to support my family and to pay child support. as of last year. I'm having trouble moving on certain days, breathing and acid reflux and muscle atrophy. (disease progression) especially when this is going on, it worsens everything as this is flared up. I was working under the table to try and make ends meet as I was paying child support still. I should add that the child support with 50/50 custody was $1029 for three kids cause I was making six figures at the time of divorce in 2018. Last year however, I couldn't work anymore, and filed for disability.
In june of last year, I had asked Susan, to get the children school supplies, (which she never does) as I was still paying at the time $1029 in child support. She said she didnt have the money despite now making 70k and her new BF living with her and is working whom she cheated on me with. With me working under the table, I bought them clothes, haircuts, school supplies (ive done every year) but then, I noticed she went on vacation to puerto rico and got a giant leg tattoo. At the time, I had already known what I had, and I asked myself why the heck am I doing this? So i turned to an attorney to get it modified. Again, this is June 20th to be exact of last year. My lawyer, stated that this was only going to be a 90 day turn around for the temporary modification then we will go for the final.
Since then, I have gone for a DNA test. I had to know. I am dying. I wanted to know. And you may judge me for this. but i have filed for disablement for paternity, meaning I am removing myself from the birth certificate. However, in the state of Florida, a mother can deny this and so can the courts. before you judge me, I have many reasons none of which have to do with him other then his mental disability (Aspergers) This illness, as days go by takes more and more from me. As previously aforementioned, I am left with 250 a month. I cannot go get a drs appointment pay for groceries or start planning my funeral which I will start making payments on soon. He also eats three times the amount that we all collectively do (Not his fault) but I have paid enough both mentally and financially. He also has trouble communicating as my suspicions is, that he was born of incest (gross) which is why I was 'chosen' to be his father at the time. Before you ask how do you know? Lets just say she had an uncle 'leave' during that time.
anyways, in February, I had the temporary modification hearing for child support and needless to say it was a circus. My doctor was subpoenaed to be there by my attorneys request to better my argument, even though I felt we didn't need her, she advised me to have my doctor there. Well, he attorney attacked my doctor and me for an hour and 40 mins when the court case was only supposed to go for an hour. He said "you saw another dr Max so and so and they said it was all in your head" (again I had flare ups on a illness that hadnt revealed itself correctly since last year). So there argument was that I was doctor seeking to avoid child support. After I have paid for 13 years never missing a payment. Her lawyer also targeted people who are living with me. Now I'll admit that I said they were friends which is true but how else can I pay for my attorney? Cant work, cant sell drugs, cant rob a bank? So they want to take there income into consideration. BS. She also hired a private investigator to watch me exercise outside and stated that because I can exercise, I can work..... Ok. Where's the 23 hours of the rest of the day watching me in pain. or when do you have me on video of a flare up from this terminal illness? (that's what I wanted to say)
Although I was granted the temporary modification, of $209, I left the court thinking wow, this woman can cheat, commit paternity fraud, not give two craps about our children, live with her mom in a section 8 home, and here I am doing whatever I can and I've done nothing wrong but be lied to and this is how my government, my country treats me? No wonder men my age dont have children this is insane. The paternity issue wasn't even brought up they said that this isnt the place for this and that the disestablishment will be another trial for those wondering. My lawyer only spoke for 5 mins. Asking her about her income cause thats the only thing that has changed since 2018 since she didnt work at the time. Other than that, it was an attack on me and my disease arguing my ability to work.
after leaving that, I didnt eat for 96 hours. I have since been crying nonstop. Compilating suicide. I am already heart broken about my son not being mine. Sure does a terminal illness make me said, no question everyday. But a life wasted on another? Cause I decided to be a man and take up responsibility? thats soul crushing. And to say "well, there is a big chance the courts will deny your request' thats BS. If i go to prison because I was accused of a robbery for 13 years, and DNA evidence proves I wasnt there, I get out of jail and can sue. This is no different. If anything, DNA evidence needs to be more of a factor in family law than in almost every court of law if not as equally important. My bad for not investigating her infidelity not only in the beginning but also in the end. How about not being a POS. sorry rant over
gets better. Her mom and dad smoke in the section 8 house, kids reek of cigarette smoke and marijuana, all day. they dont take showers there, they were hand me down clothes, they live in the garage shared with there mother, that isn't air conditioned. and he makes only a few thousand less than I do a month. She stated in court that she pays her mom $500 in rent which is BS, she is only doing that now so that she makes herself look bad. I know she is doing pills, like oxy and what not. Id love to prove it.
after the temp hearing, in april, I had to go to court to contest my drivers license suspension as I hadn't paid child support since, august of last year. again, there is no way, I can pay my bills, feed my children, go to the doctor, pay my lawyer to end all of this BS and pay the current child support amount. and again, this final hearing is still not set yet. So they intercepted my tax return, even though the temporary modification was approved, the final is what gets it retro backed to the date of filing, so they took, a much needed 5500 tax return from me. I needed that cause one of the issues I failed to mention as well, hurricane Ian has destroyed my home and I'm still going through that process too. not to mention I am on payment plans with Mayo clinic and other various medical facilities. (no one cares) but the interest that accrues, makes it impossible to catch up. also, Florida department of rev is overstepping I feel, and asking for medical info to be sent to them as well as updated doctors letters to be sent saying that I am still on disability.
a few weeks ago, I got an email from my lawyer having a withdrawal notice from her lawyer. in the withdrawal, he stated that he cannot represent her, due to something she may have withheld or lied about (more or less wasn't worded like that but you can tell). In feb court appearance they never produced the PI report, or videos, they had medical info they shouldn't have had, and they had very outlandish comments about my lifestyle. So my lawyer filed immediately a motion to compel. meaning, we want to see everything you have on my client. this was filed almost immediately after court appearance on feb 20th. Susan has failed to provide any updated info requested by my attorney so on june 18th, we have that upcoming hearing.
in the mean time, I have sent my lawyer, a very heavily requested topics, such as "where did they get my medical records, if those were lies, what are the consequences if any"? What did exercising have to do with any of this despite various drs saying he has to or he will get worse.
I know wat you must be thinking, what about your oldest, how can you do that to him. Please listen. This woman has taken everything from me. And i mean everything but the roof over my head. I am seeing a therapist to help with the suicidal thoughts. it isnt enough. the reality of it is, I chose to be loyal and it bit me in the butt. This disease will rob me of everything, my teeth will fall out ( I had 5 cavities last time I went to the dentist) I haven't had a cavity since I was 30 and even then I was suspicious. And I am brushing 5 time s a day to save them. My skin is tightening, and my arms and muscles are wasting. I will literally be left with nothing. My organs will also start to harden, and I will have to start getting around the clock care.
I forgot to mention they (child support) recently, sent a letter to SSI (social security) saying that they would garnish my SSI before I even got it, totaling $1029. the incorrect amount. I sent this to my lawyer and she is looking into it. But it shows that child support will overstep and breaks every law or freedom you may think you have. I DO take care of my children. if they need a haircut i do it, school supplies clothes, anything I do it. And I do it, cause she wont. What I want to leave you with, is that woman can be dead beats too. Child support was designed to have woman off of government subsidized programs like section 8 food stamps and what not. Also to make the man pay for their children man or woman I should say, I know this. I am not running from my obligation. I just want Susan, to have to pay for what's she's done to me and the kids.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this, please comment and share, all names are fake, but everything else is unfortunately real. I know it was wordy, but I wanted to provide as much backstory as possible. And please. Respect my descions. When you are end of life, I hope someone would be kind enough to respect yours. You may not agree and that's ok, but I am asking you to respect them. Thank you for reading.

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj7kc/roundup_ufos_anomaly_network_app_countries_colors/
Archive
Moon phase waxing crescent, three days before half
Mars Right Ascension 0h 37m 40s
.1 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjbim/strange_explosions_in_the_sky/ sighting description, no craft, at home, urban area, England the UK 🇬🇧, nighttime, flareup, appeared out of nowhere, explosion, it was like an ourburst, almost like when a coronal mass ejection happens, the explosion went one way, covering half a circle going outwards. , brief duration 1-2 seconds, repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, Around 5 min later it happened again, this time in another part of the sky., has anyone seen?
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqjmwu/remote_viewing/ discussion of remote viewing, perplexing success, I’ve been playing a remote viewing app for two weeks and want to know how it is working. I keep getting it right.
.3 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqj2p8/strange_blue_cloud_over_bostonquincy_last_night/ video, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, blue 🔵, from car, stationary, urban area, near Boston, quincy Massachusetts
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqj6la/a_look_into_the_special_tactical_unit_detachment/ original research, documents, "Special Tactical Unit Detachment" , S.T.U.D.S. within Air Force budget requests
.5 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1cqktez/immense_beam_of_light_moving_across_the_moon/ sighting description, moon anomaly, contemporaneous report, has anyone seen?, pale white beam almost imperceptibly across the face of the crescent moon, traversing the face of the moon, vertical orientation
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqltyg/great_basin_experience/ sighting description, Great Basin National Park in eastern Nevada, nighttime, unusual animal activity Western Jay comes out of nowhere and gets mad at my presence. He's sailing around my head, making a racket. Normally I love birds, but this thing is freaking me out. After 5 minutes of this it flies away into the distance., subsequent single light object, ascending from horizon, approach, silent, duration 8 minutes,
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqm8s5/uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, very bright, contemporaneous report, northern lights, moving fast, silent, beetle 🪲 shape,
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqz2hb/all_the_relevant_uap_updates_from_may_612/ information, state of disclosure USA https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqd2yw/mexican_and_peruvian_ufo_hearing_roundup_slow/ state of disclosure, Mexico and Peru
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqv3p4/seen_above_my_house/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, over the witness home, silent, right angle turn, ascending, west coast of scottish highlands near the Island of Mull, Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, contemporaneous report, similar sighting same day in comments https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crqcay/unknown_in_sky/ video, single light object, low over treeline, plane for comparison observed, over Oban,Scotland, downvoted to zero
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmotu/ufo_in_linekin_bay_boothbay_harbor_maine_847pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving slowly, kept moving in short bursts and pausing in one spot. Then moved again. , moving and stationary and moving, subsequent repeat visitor or second object, two witnesses, over water, linekin Bay, Boothbay harbor Maine https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1oml/ufo_linekin_bayeast_boothbay_harbor_maine_5112024/ more video, previous night
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqmwax/hoping_this_sub_can_identify_what_i_saw_today/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, central Illinois, Duration 20 seconds, single dark object, possible manta shape, all black and shaped like a bird, moving fast and straight, disappeared into clouds, silent, similar sighting same day in comments
.12 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ sighting description, at work, entity, OP is a university professor currently, previous career in aviation, landed craft, crash retrieval, acorn 🌰 shape, shaped like a dreidel without the handle., The shape was directly informed by its purpose. Every shape is custom molded in a metallic material that would revolutionize the way we travel if we had it. , I'll call it crash recovery because that's what colleagues who are planning to come forward will call it, shootdown, the NHI look like the aliens from close encounters. As far as I know, we never had one alive.,NHI know we can track them, and know how to avoid us.,NHI are linked to their craft in a way that borders on biological. Security rule is people that mention the agency name are killed. It's not a question, and it happened during my time. You'll hear more about them as news about the retaliation Dave comes out., If the US comes out directly and says "We have craft, we have bodies", it means we are on the verge of a serious global conflict like we've never seen before. [GOODPOST], removed by mods, "NORAD leak", https://web.archive.org/web/20240513180353/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ Archive https://web.archive.org/web/20240514184514/https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cqwpdx/i_worked_on_a_team_that_dealt_with_with_nhi/ updated archive https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cvs93o/new_paradigm_media_group_claim_that_an_uap/ hopefully unrelated
.13 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqs35h/what_do_you_think/ photo, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, northern lights, single light object moving fast, wavy trajectory, overhead, 5 second long exposure, Port Coquitlam - about 30 minutes outside of Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, downvoted to zero
.14 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8pcu/what_did_i_catch_in_the_sky/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object stationary, just sat up there, duration a couple hours. And then it was gone.., vanished, Newport Oregon, near water pacific ocean, haze, disturbing the air around it, three witnesses , similar sighting in comments
.15 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr9qj4_strange_lights_moving_back_and_forth_while/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, Pocatello Idaho, threelights observed, flying in triangle formation, crossing directly in front
.16 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr1clw/taken_over_a_lake_in_prince_edward_county_ontario/ video, nighttime sky, over water, lake, prince Edward County Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, twolights, appeared out of nowhere, stationary and moving slowly, descended below treeline
.17 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cqreh8/very_bright_in_the_light_polluted_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single object blackwhite, low over rooftop, rockford Illinois, contemporaneous report, possible speed change, seems to maybe decelerate a couple times., very bright observed
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr6105/possible_uap/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, possible jumpy movement, speed change, seemed to really pick up speed then slow. , during northern lights, Eau Claire Michigan
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr3ioe/capturing_the_light/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, near water, lake Michigan , irregular shape, elongated, worm 🪱, haze,
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crboq1/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt1/ video, daytime cloudy sky, fleet, at home, urban area, kakaako neighborhood of Honolulu Hawaii, contemporaneous report, one large orb and several smaller orbs all floating in a formation. , smaller objects accompany it, flying in formation, disappeared into clouds https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbzky/ufo_sighting_honolulu_pt2/ more video
.21 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crbj6x/summoning_ufos/ discussion of human initiated contact
.22 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cqu4hw/saw_two_translucent_tailed_orbs_in_the_sky/ sighting description, has anyone seen?, nighttime, contemporaneous report, northern lights, duration 10 seconds, twolights, moving fast, trail, flying in formation, see through head with a long skinny white tail that left a trail of glowy light as they moved. One of them stopped moving, turned around then waited up for the other as it trailed behind and when it caught up they kinda just disappeared., northern Washington state near Canada 🇨🇦
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crdy05/51024_sw_wa/ video, nighttime sky, northern lights, single light object moving, at home, backyard, witness followed it, electronic effects camera battery died, possible speed change, possible trajectory change, disappeared behind rooftops, southwest Washington state, similar sightings same area and day in comments, [GOODPOST]
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cremtj/my_great_uncle_told_me_about_a_crash_retrieval/ sighting description, family story, crash retrieval, military, Salar de Uyuni desert Bolivia 🇧🇴 , USA military response, He described the ship to have flickering lights of several colors and saw the Americans retrieving some pieces from that ship, alongside some organic material that looked like deceased beings
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crgxgt/3_lights_in_sky/ photos, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, during northern lights, not seen by eye, Columbia South Carolina
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crk806/orb_over_lake_while_watching_the_aurora_lights_in/ video, nighttime sky, over water, Elbow Lake Michigan, during northern lights, three witnesses, single light object, hexagon shape with a circular light in the center. https://old.reddit.com/useDry-Ant3194/comments/1crwmun/screenshots_of_orb_over_lake_2nd_photo_shadow_was/ screenshots , multicolored, haze, cloud of all the colors dancing around it., duration 2 minutes
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crkaw4/some_advice_plz/ sighting description, two witnesses, nighttime, from car, Bourbon County Kansas, single light object stationary, low over treeline, reaction to being observed, approach, flareup, light shining in car, directly in front, went from a fixed position in the trees to nearly in front of my truck while at the same time focusing what I can only describe as the brightest light I'd ever experienced at night before. , jumpy movement, missing time
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crjw5j/extremely_bright_light_flying_towards_my_plane/ sighting description, from airplane, single light object, approach, over water Atlantic Ocean, daytime cloudy sky, light shining in airplane, physical effects paralysis, As I first saw the light my first reaction was that I froze for a few seconds in confusion. , interaction with airplane, flew overhead, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, duration 10-12 seconds,
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crh1go/recreating_something_i_saw_when_i_was_young/ childhood sighting description and reference image, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, threelights, barbell shape, outside window, stationary, duration 10 minutes, audio description loud buzzing., emotion of fear, witness left the area, new Hampshire
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cr8ir4/seen_in_cornwall_uk/ photo, nighttime sky, cloud anomaly, disappeared, possible single object blackwhite, possible camera artifact, not seen by eye, at home, Cornwall the UK 🇬🇧
.31 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crusrv/seeing_strange_things_while_recording_the_arora/ video, nighttime sky, fleet observed, multiple objects, one following another, LOTS of strange glowing round things. They would appear for 20-30 seconds and float across just a small area, and then they would disappear., each duration 20-30 seconds, Chattanooga Tennessee
.32 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1crzbcg/i_need_help_to_try_to_understand_what_i_saw/ sighting description, Sao Paulo Brazil 🇧🇷, nighttime sky, single light object, blinking, stationary, duration 10-15 minutes, The light would turn off and on in a regular interval (around 13 seconds)., repeat visitor, contemporaneous report
.33 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1cr8t6q/am_i_seeing_things_round_2/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, doughnut 🍩 shaped, moving straight
.34 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crmukh/speaking_owls/ childhood sighting description, sister of OP, at home, nighttime, outside bedroom window, entity, owl, communication, repeat visitor, family history, her eldest son (who was around 7-8 at the time) woke the house up screaming. He was terrified and shaking and she asked him what happened and he told her an owl came and spoke to him “in his head.” , telepathy, emotion of fear
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crhdyo/my_cousin_and_i_charged_a_shadow_figure_when_we/ childhood experience description, three witnesses, entity, shadow figure, combat, My cousin and I looked back at each other and my cousin just screamed at me “LETS GET HIM!”. Before I could say anything my cousin just bolts at this guy, and I ran right behind him., witness followed it, it was not running fast at all, the way it ran looked super weird, its kind of hard to explain, its limbs moved like a human, but it looked like it was running in slow motion. Its head was slightly tilted back as it was jogging, almost as if it was looking up at the sky. , looked away and looked back, vanished
.36 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crlbtp/what_do_you_think_of_this_experience_visitation/ experience description, at home, nighttime, inside bedroom, witness woke up, audio description high frequency sound in the room, almost like when something electrical is plugged in and you can just hear it. A neon sign kind of. , approach, very loud, It stops, and I start to hear this rustling coming from behind me, I think, “What the fuck IS that??”, wtf_is_that, communication, I get a flash of a sentence through my head that doesn’t feel like a thought from me but a message from someone else: “Don’t be scared.”
.37 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crnkz7/cool_dream_about_ufos_in_a_hanga dream description, UFO's being shown to a group of people, it was in a very large hangar, the alien body was probably about 7ft that was lying down and the craft was tiny, maybe the size of a small table., the craft would expand towards the 3 pilots to become much larger, using their minds to do this, it would then mold to their forms to enable a space to pilot it, the material was almost like a moving graphete.
.38 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1crfo0y/did_i_see_a_ufo_anyone_got_a_logical_explanation/ sighting description and reference image, circular shape, at home, nighttime cloudy sky, spinning, The patterns/shapes/geometrics that made up the circle were ones I had never seen before, The Circle was spinning non stop and it was like the outside of the circle would collapse into the centre and then it would come out again to full size, has anyone seen?
.39 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1crs234/was_trying_to_get_a_photo_of_the_northern_lights/ photo, nighttime sky, during northern lights, urban area, Glasgow Scotland the UK 🇬🇧, not seen by eye, fleet or single object multiple lights, green 🟢, hoax
.40 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cqx075/3_lights_in_the_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, threelights, red and green 🔴🟢, low over treeline, camping, outback Australia 🇦🇺 , zigzag movements or wavy trajectory, moving from side to side going at some speed but as I took that photo they disappeared., reaction to being filmed, vanishing
.41 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cs2rhi/lost_time_in_western_mass/ experience description, missing time, two witnesses, from car, the McDonalds in Hadley Massachusetts, there’s quite some fog. But that area has fog from time to time. And all the cars except for ours in the lot were gone too, automobile anomaly, old early 2000s suv pulled into the lot with zero noise. No engine sound, I didn’t noticed the light until it pulled over to my right front spot. It kinda seemed it just slide in with no friction or anything. , location anomaly, we somehow got into the lot across the street,,didn’t seem to take longer than half an hour., more than 3 hours just passed.
.42 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1crz21q/an_unknown_red_circles/ photo, nighttime sky, two objects, anomalous to witness, red 🔴, near water, Black Sea, 30 second long exposure
.43 reference ISS https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1cru96d/iss/ photo, nighttime sky, international space station
.44 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cro1y6/we_lost_about_4_hours_of_time_in_30_seconds/ experience description, around the Northampton - Luton area the UK 🇬🇧, from car, four witnesses, camping, went through a tunnel, 4 hours had passed in 30 seconds,
.45 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crldxd/sound_from_woods_in_pnw/ audio description, at home, outside, near water, hottub, backyard, pacific northwest, high pitched, smooth who sound. Almost like someone was singing the word “who”. But with a very elongated “ooo” noise. , brief duration 2-3 seconds, physical effects paralysis and goosebumps, repeat visitor, made two passes, has anyone seen?, similar experiences in comments
.46 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1crky49/more_in_depth_story_from_northern_alaska/ experience description, northern Alaska, multiple witnesses, nighttime, at home, felt observed, In the willows stood 4-6 small people. They looked like anyone else in the village, but they wore clothes made of skins rather than newer materials brought in. Their eyes glowed and one bared its teeth. Thinking about this just freaks me out., in comments: The navy on Guam has a problem with the little people entering the navy magazine where they store a huge amount of ammo. The marine guards would see them constantly., entities
.47 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1crdvlz/petrified_and_floating_out_of_window/ experience description, at home, nighttime, witness woke up, light shining in bedroom window, physical effects paralysis, witness was pulled, I floated out of my bed and towards the bright light in the window and shortly after I have no memory., event amnesia, emotion of fear, eyes teared up, it is the most terrifying feeling I have ever experienced. I’m crying just thinking about it., similar experience in comments
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cs7jje/fast_moving_ufo_seen_in_north_vancouver_051024/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving and stationary, jumpy movement, possible trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, duration 14 seconds, moving erratically observed, during northern lights , OP comments downvoted
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csc0o6/ufo_spotted_on_flight_to_newark_nj/ sighting description and video, nighttime cloudy sky, from airplane, contemporaneous report, over water Atlantic Ocean, single light object stationary and moving, subsequent threelights, Another light appeared right next to it and was glowing a bit brighter. A third light appeared from the right and went towards to the other two on the left. At this point the second light that randomly appeared on the left disappeared, the other two dimmed a bit and disappeared as well after another minute., dimming, vanishing,
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1css11t/odd_floating_object/ photos and video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object stationary, Bozeman Montana, duration 30 minutes, weather balloon? looks like a balloon with a nautilus style tail, white in the sun and gray with low cloud cover., weird shit, multiple witnesses
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csui87/what_is_this_object_suspended_in_air_above_poland/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, elongated, trail, vertical orientation, contrails type, contemporaneous report, Szczecin Poland 🇵🇱, stationary, duration a couple minutes, low over treeline, downvoted to zero
.52 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1cs6rj4/ufo_experience/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, at home, single light object moving and stationary, emitting orbs, Travelling at a slow and smooth pace. Until suddenly it stopped in position and ten seconds later two orbs shot out (or three) and darted across the sky like bees. , emotional reaction awe and wondor
.53 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csu1ex/saw_something_in_my_apartment/ sighting description, at home, entity, inside home, audio description chain jingling and a buzzing sound., I turn around and am immediately faced with what I'm going to describe as a gray, leaning around the corner with one three fingered hand touching the wall. It looks....insubstantial. Like it's made of smoke or fog., Southern Appalachia
.54 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1csmf1w/strange_message/ experience description, no craft, at home, nighttime, communication, "kaptia kapta kesta", has anyone seen?
.55 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1crpnrw/third_man_facto experience description, remote viewing, training
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csxiay/was_wondering_if_anyone_had_a_logical_explanation/ video, nighttime sky, single dim object, diffuse, low over rooftop, contemporaneous report, Rhondda Cynon Taff South Wales the UK 🇬🇧 , two witnesses, witness followed it, duration 30 minutes
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyfuv/honestly_dont_know_what_to_say/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving, blackwhite, multicolored, two witnesses, contemporaneous report, subsequent threelights flying in equilateral triangle formation, [GOODPOST], emotion of fear, witness left the area, Ireland 🇮🇪 , physical effects vibration
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1csyob2/purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an_interest/ sighting, OP is not the witness, witness is a pilot, black triangle 🔺️, from airplane , removed by mods, similar sighting in comments: All Black triangle, no lights, no sound, super low and almost floating (given how slow it flew over). It must have been landing at Joint Base Lewis-McChord https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cszn08/i_purchased_a_flir_unit_online_and_had_an/ reposted , similar sightings in comments, [GOODPOST]
.59 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctd4qs/new_jersey_ufo/ video, daytime cloudy sky, new jersey, twolights, two dark objects, moving slowly, bird for comparison, metallic sphere observed
.60 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctb72t/strange_train_line_in_brazil_and_argentina/ video, from home security camera, single light object, elongated, Rio de Janeiro Brazil 🇧🇷, link to similar sightings in comments
.61 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct569h/unidentified_object_next_to_us_apache_helicopte photo, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, at home, helicopter for comparison, single dark object, manta shape, bird?, downvoted to zero
.62 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5imq/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_a_kid_with_witnesses/ childhood sighting description, multiple witnesses, at home, nighttime, trampoline, British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦, fleet, wavy trajectory, red 🔴, Three or four maybe five red lights, orbs, circles, moving like a snake across the sky but then dissappear., vanishing, repeat visitor observed, other witnesses said it came back later.
.63 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1ct62su/help_i_think_i_saw_some_aliens/ sighting description, three entities, at home, nighttime, animal reaction dogs barking, 3 little blurry things came out of the trees and then suddenly became viewable. There was 3 aliens that were as tall as oompa loompas. They were skinny so skinny almost like walking sticks with a square shaped figure. They had binocular shaped eye ridge and they had yellow eyes that were sunken in and looked slanted., emotion of fear, witness left the area, trying to run but i fell on the ground they stared at me, and did a dance. , dancing, physical effects eyes teared up,
.64 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/1csw5nx/fast_ufo_over_federal_hill/ photo, daytime sky, plane for comparison, single light object, federal hill new jersey, similar sighting with video in comments,
.65 reference Sirius https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1ct9qvx/photographed_sirius_again_3rd_time_i_think/ photo, nighttime sky, the star Sirius, single light object
.66 https://old.reddit.com/StrangeEarth/comments/1ct3nhz/looking_for_possible_answers_on_what_this_light/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, single light object stationary, low below treeline, appearing and vanishing,
.67 https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/1csgkde/weird_artifact/ photo, nighttime sky, anomalous to witness, single light object moving fast
.68 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cs74p5/what_are_these_stains_on_my_pillowcase_quarte photo of pillowcase, anomalous bloodstains, at home
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctijey/what_is_in_our_sky/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, contemporaneous report, These "clouds" formed and moved opposite other clouds,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctlrfive_literally_just_spotted_this_spherical/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single dark object, elongated, possible manta shape or metapod, disappeared into clouds, sphere observed, kent the UK 🇬🇧, 51° 16' 47.9964'' N, angled from the horizon , repeat visitors , video shows electronic effects camera glitching or jumpy movement , moving straight, dead weight just travelling farther and farther as though travelling into space. , downvoted to zero in 1 hour, OP comments downvoted
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct5cdy/bright_orb_crossed_the_whole_sky_in_lancaster_ca/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, orange 🟠 observed, near USAF, Edwards air force base, Southern California, three witnesses, during northern lights, very bright, completely silent and weirdly multi-colored / orange orb showed up to the far west over Lancaster and steadily moved eastward, over Edwards and disappeared over the eastern horizon.,
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctpjk8/what_is_this_object/ video, daytime cloudy sky, single light object, diffuse, low over water, Central Finland 🇫🇮, yellowish, diffuse, moving slowly, looking around, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1ctnntx/i_just_saw_a_uap_for_the_first_time_now_what/ sighting description, daytime, contemporaneous report, fleet, circling each other, weaving, 9 white small dots all irregularly circling around each other at high speeds. The group moved from one end of the sky to the other in the space of about 5 minutes., plane for comparison observed, interaction with airplane, flew over plane, They appeared above the plane and to slow down when the plane passed., speed change, three witnesses, apathy in other witness, polarized sunglasses., possibly metallic, possible haze, urban area, Denver Colorado
.74 https://old.reddit.com/Skydentify/comments/1ctl6au/photo_from_my_hotel_room_in_denver_facing_west/ photo, nighttime sky, single light object, irregular shape, diffuse, angular, orange 🟠, contemporaneous report, no info from OP, urban area, Denver Colorado
.75 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctqx3k/strange_object_spotted_over_mod_base_raf/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving slowly and erratically, started flying around in different directions. , contemporaneous report, near air force base, the UK 🇬🇧, at home
.76 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ctz4s640_res_thermal_uap/ video and drawing, nighttime cloudy sky, through thermal camera, repeat visitor, plane for comparison, contemporaneous report, Southern new jersey, previous sighting description single object elongated, oval-shaped, horizontal orientation, The bottom half of the oval had 3-4 circular heat signatures. It was about 2x bigger then the plane at 3:04 and maybe 2x closer. It was moving slowly., video shows single light object moving fast, moving straight observed https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuohxo/plasma_like_uap_on_thermal_monocula same OP, different event, twolights, two witnesses, elongated, V-shaped formation, merging, nighttime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, Blue Anchor New Jersey, OP comments downvoted, big debunker energy
.77 these were all removed, i guess https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ news, Vatican guidelines for supernatural events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu8xsc/newsnation_reporting_on_the_vatican_and_ufos/ more coverage https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu983a/vaticans_new_classifications_of_phenomena/ categories of events https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu67kc/the_vatican_supernatural_phenomenon_summary/ summary, guidance on how the Church should approach and discern supernatural phenomena, like visions and apparitions.
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cua35x/interesting_lights_in_the_sky_near_san_jose_51424/ photos, near San Jose California, nighttime, not seen by eye, single light object moving, trail, haze, shape change, near water, Calaveras Reservoir
.79 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cu4k43/vivid_memory_of_the_sky_exploding_help_me_figure/ childhood sighting description, two witnesses, at home, backyard, daytime, single light object, directly in front, massive ball of flames dead center in the sky. It looked like a big plane had exploded but it was very slowly still moving across the sky. , There were reds, oranges, and very bright yellows 🔴🟠🟡 coming from it, haze. And it was HUGE, like, the size of my palm but in the sky. , emotion of fear, witness left the area, audio description huge booming exploding sound, physical effects vibration, I can feel the sound wave hitting us., Southern Florida, Columbia space shuttle?
.80 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cu64ri/my_girlfriend_saw_a_ring_of_flashing_lights_in/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet, circular formation, diffuse, spotlights type, low over rooftop, urban area, Kuala Lampur Malaysia 🇲🇾, downvoted to zero
.81 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cucswq/strange_shuny_spheres_in_the_sky/ childhood sighting description, Canada 🇨🇦, daytime, multiple witnesses, fleet, blackwhite, approach, flew overhead, multiple objects grouped and floating together. They looks like perfect metal spheres about the size of beach balls. , metallic sphere, flying in formation, duration a few minutes
.82 https://old.reddit.com/signalidentification/comments/1cuay5a/144_mhz_weird_mirrored_signal/ signal anomaly, possible twolights
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cue2zz/you_want_disclosure_come_to_brazil/ how-to, self disclosure, Brazil 🇧🇷
.84 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cueec7/think_i_just_had_my_first_ufo_sighting_today/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, daytime, twolights, I noticed in the sky a metal object, then I noticed one behind it, a few meters apart. silent, witness looked away and looked back, vanished, England the UK 🇬🇧, duration 3-4 minutes., cylindrical shape
.85 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cug426/can_anyone_explain_what_this_is/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, close line formation, horizontal orientation, horizontal trajectory, moving fast, low over treeline, from car, powerlines,
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuhrz9/i_took_this_video_of_ufos_in_the_night_sky_above/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, through infrared scope, near windmills, fleet, diffuse, moving fast and slowly, trajectory change, U-turn, circling, moving and stationary, spotlights type, at home, outside bedroom window, triangle formation,
.87 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/1cuhsz7/stranger_told_me_knowing_what_is_on_top_of_saturn/ experience description, contemporaneous report, mysterious stranger, the planet Saturn, he asked me "do you know what is there?" I replied "no". He told me to look up "Saturn from the top view" and said that it's going to open my eyes and change my life.
.88 https://old.reddit.com/BackwoodsCreepy/comments/1cufrqh/encounter_with_a_black_wolf_creature_in_the/ dream description, repeat visitor, entity, Tennessee, Around the age of 12 or 13, I started having recurring dreams set in the forest, a place I frequently visited. In these dreams, I encountered a large black wolf with glowing red eyes., During my final dream involving the wolf, a woman's voice accompanied it. I recall her saying, "Do not fear the wolf." As the wolf circled me, I didn't feel fear but rather a deep sense of respect for its ancient power.
.89 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuf2co/my_experience_with_nhi/ experience description, had a bout of psychosis that involved/was caused by extended contact with a "non-human intelligence." Left me deeply traumatized and harmed but in a better place in my life than where I started. Don't fuck around and find out.
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cui6zs/satellite_or_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Qatar 🇶🇦, single light object moving, stars for comparison, trajectory change observed
.91 ➡️ https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwnbs/how_many_have_had_the_dream/ childhood dream description, at home, nighttime, eyes outside window, Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 , similar dreams in comments, entity, [GOODPOST]
.92 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuwxug/ufo_or_is_this_just_a_plane_or_satellite/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, two witnesses, single light object moving, Gladwyne Pennsylvania near Philadelphia,
.93 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cukdcm/ufo_from_joshua_tree_national_park_522024/ video, nighttime sky, Joshua Tree National Park California, multiple witnesses, camping, single light object, plane for comparison, haze, When the cloudy aura dissipated a bit you could see had just two bright white lights from two ends of it., twolights, vanishing, possible departure upward, rocket launch? , silent
.94 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cunh7l/what_sightingevent_opened_your_mind_to_the/ discussion of sightings
.95 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuqag5/guys_help_me_identify_this_thing_what_the_heck_is/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, urban area, Los Angeles California, single dark object, elongated, worm 🪱, irregular shape, single flash, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, V-shaped, shape change
.96 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cuxx9l/help_i_think_i_saw_a_ufo/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, nighttime, at home, light shining in bedroom window, single light object, approach, golden, flew over the witness home, emotion of fear, Southern Ontario Canada 🇨🇦, emotional reaction feeling shook, ongoing, I've been having a lot of strange experiences lately.
.97 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cupc7a/ufo_orb_light/ video, daytime sky, single dim object, low over treeline, disappeared behind treeline, moving slowly and fast, possible reaction to being filmed, speed change, Was floating for about 2 min before I started filming. Moved fairly quickly, disappeared behind tree line., duration two minutes, at home, backyard, possible military response helicopter , event amnesia
.98 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cut2f2/strange_sighting_in_netherlands/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, wavy trajectory, vanishing and reappearing or jumpy movement, two witnesses, silent, possible military response jets, After 5 minutes or saw we saw a plane fly in the same direction. Which was followed by another plane and third one which made a u-turn after a flashing light appeared in the direction the light flew in., nighttime, the Netherlands 🇳🇱
.99 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/1cuvet2/second_moon_uap_in_virginia/ video, nighttime sky, single light object stationary, multicolored, low over treeline, repeat visitor, Virginia, over water, river where the Tye and James river meet, He said that it disappeared for a month or so (he stopped seeing it in the morning) and now it’s back!
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/1cux9gabout_45_years_ago_i_saw_a_black_figure_looking/ sighting description, entity, at home, outside window, animal reaction dog noticed it, black figure the the shape of a person's head looking through the window at me., witness looked away and looked back, vanished
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv2esis_this_a_ufo/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see, repeat visitor, Victoria British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1ct988m/what_the_hell_is_this/ previous day, video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving erratically, jumpy movement, trail, North Vancouver British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
.102 https://old.reddit.com/UF0/comments/1cv0xjf/please_telll_me_what_this_is/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, urban area, threelights, triangle formation, low over rooftop, silent, there were a lot of planes going by. wayyyyyy more than usual., at home, similar sighting in comments
.103 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv7yko/another_shitty_phone_video/ video, daytime cloudy sky, powerlines, single light object, Yucaipa California, first noticed from car, witness stopped the car and got out, reaction to being filmed, ascending, departure,
.104 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1cv8xxb/2007_ufo_sighting_in_sf/ sighting description and reference image, family story, 1967 Albany New York state, at home, multiple witnesses, over the witness home, very large, it was huge and covered her house and part of the street., stationary and moving, sudden departure
.105 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/1cv9qub/the_sky_went_marine_blue_and_looked_like_it_was/ sighting description, no craft, contemporaneous report, nighttime, single flash, blue 🔵, illuminating surroundings, darkness bright as day, the sky went totally bright like it was day. It had a marine blue tint to it and I could see the whole city. , brief duration 1 second, subsequent audio description huge bang sound in the distance,
.106 https://old.reddit.com/AnomalousEvidence/comments/1cv97u8/i_wanted_to_share_with_you_all_a_bit_of/ information, how to evaluate orb reports, [GOODPOST]
.107 https://old.reddit.com/UFObelievers/comments/1cv7hky/ufo_supercharged_my_powerbank_to_151_a_yea sighting, electronic effects camera battery died, but my PowerBank has been stuck at 151% since last year.

Having a huge trigger because i just got into a big fight with my mom. Im so desperate to soothe the pain and loneliness with a cigarette or vape. Like i know that temporary rush will be so satisfying and will help me to forget about the stupid fight and will provide me a bit of pleasure and serenity and its do hard to resist. But im trying really really hard to not give in because every time ive quit in the past, if i get into a fight with someone or if im facing a really difficult moment then i always use that as an excuse to cave and relapse. But that’s exactly what it is - an excuse. The desire to smoke is always there, but when theres a certain trigger then it suddenly seems justified because then it feels like nicotine is a “medicine” and is a tool to help me get out of the negative feelings. I just don’t know how the fuck “normal” people function or calm themselves down when they are faced with difficulty. Vaping and smoking is the easiest way to feel better instantly. Its so fucking hard not to. And thats how i always end up relapsing. I give in because i convince myself nicotin is the medicine that is going to cure my problems. There are cigarettes in my house right now (not mine, my moms) and i could smoke one. And i felt like i was so close. I havent touched any form of nicotine in 3 months, except for 1 slip up around the 6 week mark where i smoked a cigarette after a different fight with my mom. After that slip up, i told myself i wouldnt beat myself up over it because in the past i would always beat myself up and punish myself with shame and guilt after a relapse because i thought that was going to be a good strategy to prevent future relapse. But ive learned that punishing myself with shame and forcing myself to restart the clock and start counting smoke free days from zero again actually only makes me smoke more because then the mentality is oh well i caved and smoked one cigarette and now im back st square one so i might as well just smoke for the rest of the day and quit tomorrow. Which then turns into oh well ill smoke this week and quit after, which then turns into a month and so on. So by not counting that one slip up and just keeping up my streak, ive been able to make it to 3 months. Right now, im chewing 3 peices of nicorette gum that im glad i still had in the house because i was really really close to caving. Like i said i havent had any nicotine at all and quit cold turkey with welbutrin 3 months ago so even the nicorette gum is off limits to me but im glad i had it in the house so i made the conscious decision to chew that instead of smoking. Im rambling right now which is what i need. The moment i started getting that craving i opened up this sub, im so grateful for this community. If youve read this far thanks for coming to my ted talk. Im not going to cave, i will remain nicotine free and not count this nicorette gum and continue my streak. I’ll go to sleep tonight being able to take nice deep full breaths without my lungs feeling like they are on fire and ill feel so proud for overcoming. PLUS im breastfeeding too so the guilt of smoking is unbelievable and its poison for my baby so i really really cant relapse. Anyway thanks for reading for my rambling lol. If i can do it, so can you.

So, when I was 15, my parents were part of this tight group of family friends, like five families in total. We were all super close – dads hanging out, moms chatting away, and us kids just doing our thing. But, man, things got pretty tough at home because my mom cheated on my dad and came clean about it. They were trying to work things out, but it was rough.
We were especially tight with this one family that had a son and daughter around the same age as me and my sister. We practically spent every weekend together and often hung out during the week too. Then, out of the blue, I found out about my mom's affair, and it hit me hard. It messed up my relationship with her and made things tense with my folks.
I really needed someone to talk to, and that's where Julie came in. Julie was the mother of one of the families.She was like an honorary aunt – always there to listen and chat. I'd crash at their place whenever I had a fight with my parents, and surprisingly, they were cool with it. They saw Julie's family as part of our inner circle, someone we could trust no matter what.
One thing I forgot to mention was we had migrated to Australia when i was much smaller and all my friends were there and due to my moms affair my dad made us move back to our home country, which I hadnt lived in and had no friends for years. Around this time i fell with the wrong kids at school and started smoking cigarettes, weed and drinking alcohol.
At these family gatherings on the weekends the adults would drink alcohol and Julies husband would always give me a small glass with a very small amount of alcohol. He was kinda the cool uncle guy. Julie being the cool aunt as-well was okay with my smoking and drinking. I used to smoke around her when we were alone.
One night after a fight with my mom julie picked me up and took me to her house. Her husband was at an overseas trip with my dad and her daughter was at a sleepover. Her son was in his room and playing videogames (Me and her son were never really close because were just very different). She told me we could sit down, talk and have a drink if it would make me feel better and i agreed. She pulled out a bottle of scotch whiskey and we drank half a bottle and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. You could say were both very drunk. After this we agreed to go to sleep. She went to her bedroom and i went to the guest bedroom. After around 10 minutes she came upto my room to check on me and left. After a few minutes, I walked up to her room and asked if I could lay down beside her. I held her hand and one thing led to another and we kissed. A minute into the kiss she backed out and said it was wrong. I agreed and went to bed. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. A few minutes later she texted me. She told me to go over to her bedroom. In the quiet of the house she asked me why did we kiss. I didn’t know what to say. She looked into my eyes and me being speechless I initiated the second kiss. After that we had sex. She took my virginity that night. In the act she asked me if it was my first time and I lied and said it wasnt and she didnt say anything. I dont know if she believed me or not. After i went to the guest bedroom and slept. In the morning i got up early and went home.
In the morning she texted me “last night was one of the worst and best nights of my life”. After that i hd a sexual relationship with her for over a year. Up until now I don’t know how to feel about this. Was this sexual abuse? I had sex with her. Multiple times. At times i liked it and sometimes I hated it. Sometimes I was disgusted with myself and hated myself for what i had done. She used to tell me she loved me.But she was 45. I was 15. Now i feel like it has impacted everything in my life. Specially my relationships with women.
Btw julie is a made up name her name was something else.

A friend of mine is going through a divorce and has three kids and he moved in with me. Now his ex is trying to use the fact i am a smoker against him why should she be able to use the fact i smoke cigarettes against him to try and get full custody...

So, when I was 15, my parents were part of this tight group of family friends, like five families in total. We were all super close – dads hanging out, moms chatting away, and us kids just doing our thing. But, man, things got pretty tough at home because my mom cheated on my dad and came clean about it. They were trying to work things out, but it was rough.
We were especially tight with this one family that had a son and daughter around the same age as me and my sister. We practically spent every weekend together and often hung out during the week too. Then, out of the blue, I found out about my mom's affair, and it hit me hard. It messed up my relationship with her and made things tense with my folks.
I really needed someone to talk to, and that's where Julie came in. She was like an honorary aunt – always there to listen and chat. I'd crash at their place whenever I had a fight with my parents, and surprisingly, they were cool with it. They saw Julie's family as part of our inner circle, someone we could trust no matter what.
One thing I forgot to mention was we had migrated to Australia when i was much smaller and all my friends were there and due to my moms affair my dad made us move back to our home country, which I hadnt lived in and had no friends for years. Around this time i fell with the wrong kids at school and started smoking cigarettes, weed and drinking alcohol.
At these family gatherings on the weekends the adults would drink alcohol and Julies husband would always give me a small glass with a very small amount of alcohol. He was kinda the cool uncle guy. Julie being the cool aunt as-well was okay with my smoking and drinking. I used to smoke around her when we were alone.
One night after a fight with my mom julie picked me up and took me to her house. Her husband was at an overseas trip with my dad and her daughter was at a sleepover. Her son was in his room and playing videogames (Me and her son were never really close because were just very different). She told me we could sit down, talk and have a drink if it would make me feel better and i agreed. She pulled out a bottle of scotch whiskey and we drank half a bottle and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. You could say were both very drunk. After this we agreed to go to sleep. She went to her bedroom and i went to the guest bedroom. After around 10 minutes she came upto my room to check on me and left. After a few minutes, I walked up to her room and asked if I could lay down beside her. I held her hand and one thing led to another and we kissed. A minute into the kiss she backed out and said it was wrong. I agreed and went to bed. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. A few minutes later she texted me. She told me to go over to her bedroom. In the quiet of the house she asked me why did we kiss. I didn’t know what to say. She looked into my eyes and me being speechless I initiated the second kiss. After that we had sex. She took my virginity that night. In the act she asked me if it was my first time and I lied and said it wasnt and she didnt say anything. I dont know if she believed me or not. After i went to the guest bedroom and slept. In the morning i got up early and went home.
In the morning she texted me “last night was one of the worst and best nights of my life”. After that i hd a sexual relationship with her for over a year. Up until now I don’t know how to feel about this. Was this sexual abuse? I had sex with her. Multiple times. At times i liked it and sometimes I hated it. Sometimes I was disgusted with myself and hated myself for what i had done. She used to tell me she loved me.But she was 45. I was 15. Now i feel like it has impacted everything in my life. Specially my relationships with women.

I’ve had derealisation since 20th march I had smoked weed on February 24th and felt a bit weird after as I was very anxious while smoking so only did half(it was 1gram).I go home and try to sleep and couldn’t because I was so anxious so I forgot to hide the vid of me smoking off my phone and my parents find out. And just feel anxious again.But they think it’s a cigarette not weed and I don’t want to open up and tell them it’s weed and feel scared just thinking about it.My dad knows I have derealisation but thinks it’s from high amounts of anxiety I had as akid and my stress was high. I think my derealisation got triggered because of the anxiety I got from smoking and not actually from the weed as this is also the first time smoking I am 14 however. Has any1 got any tips on how to ‘feel normal again’ and if I can.

Hey, I'm being tracked and need to dump some equipment. These goons shouldn't harm you as long as you don't push them too hard. That being said? If you stall them I'll give you two. Nothing major. Just lie. Tell them I was going somewhere cold and dark. Just throw them off my trail. Stretch the story. Tell them I've dyed my hair purple. Keep them talking a bit longer. Something small could help.
Either way. Just take one. At a minimum, it will split the trail. I don't have time to tell you what they do.
Take One unless you are willing to lie for the stranger. In which case take Two. Or just lie to him and take two anyway.

1. Cyber glasses: When you put these on, they immediately drill into your temples giving you a split-second extreme nerve shock before it ends. You now have perfect vision, can see slightly above and below in the normal light spectrum, and can tint to a chosen color at will. These also can serve as a monitor for any machine/console/computer within 50 feet. You'll need to know the passwords still. But you'll be able to interface with them without using your hands and can control the transparency. This is full brain interface. Don't get yourself killed playing Fortnite in traffic.
2. Vape pen: The button on this vape appears to toggle between 3 different flavors. Each has 5 puffs per day. Brown = Coffee: Each puff of this is like getting a 30-minute nap. This can replace real sleep with no issues. There is no downside to this. No drop-off. Your body just basically slept a bit in the single puff. Red = Cherry Punch: This seems to give you a .25x boost in your physical stats for 30 minutes per puff. You keep all gains from this. This includes things like endurance. They do stack. Green = Sour Watermelon: Each hit heals you as if you had top-of-the-line modern treatments for 48 hours. However, it is also able to very slightly treat issues outside of current capabilities at a much-reduced rate. This includes very slowly healing most disorders even genetic and even slowly repairing spinal damage. If no immediate damage needs repairing it will start to halt your aging. It isn't perfect, but if you are fully healed 3 puffs a day will completely stop aging that day. Each additional puff would essentially de-age you an hour or two.
3. Magician's Wand: On taking this item, you gain a magical assistant of your chosen gender in any magician's assistant garb that will appear. It doesn't have to be revealing, but it does have to look like a magician's assistant clothing. They'll be your magician assistant without hesitation and they are great. This individual will be a near-perfect match for you in personality to be a bff at minimum. They live inside of a pocket realm in the wand. It has plenty of space. With their consent, you can come and go from the Wand which has internet and most gaming systems. It is a full house. If you are nice they'll let you move in. It is a 4 bedroom 2 bath. You can also invite others if your assistant allows it. At will, you can know anything you've put inside of the wand, and are able to manifest it before you in a puff of smoke or flash of light.
4. Pair of Dice: These dice passively increase your luck. This attribute is hard to define in this reality, but this is the equivalent of being 2x more lucky in all situations than average. As long as the dice are on you. The first time you roll the dice each day determines the following. If the pair adds up to more than 6, $500 USD adjusted for inflation will show up on your person in the next few hours. If you roll under 6 half a pint of blood will vanish from you.
5. Old watch: This old watch always tells the exact time in your current location. An extra button on the side allows you to stop time for all but you and the things you touch. Press it again for time to resume. This builds up a charge at the rate of 5 minutes per hour. This caps at 24 hours. You don't seem to age during this time.
6. PI Trench coat: This coat keeps you at the exact right temperature in any temps between -50f - +150f. It will try its best at anything above or below those temps, but it will be overwhelmed. Rain seems to ignore you while you wear this coat. Inside of the left pocket, a packet with 3 cigarettes appears daily. These don't harm you or cause you to cough. Instead smoking these increases your attention to detail and focus for a short duration. Often giving you a quick insight into problems. The coat slowly self repairs

Consequences: If you feed the goons bull information that isn't too insane they'll leave you. You'll never see them again. Interfere or feed them too much bull and they will kill you. Don't disrespect them and you'll be fine.
If you tell them everything you know, they'll thank you with 10,000 USD in your currency. The man who offered you the items may or may not be coming for you.

Let's start by saying that I am in a group of friends in which there are several boys and several girls. I live on a university campus and so we often meet up just to smoke a cigarette or study together. Every month or so, they organize a party here where there are always a lot of people and usually my group of friends and I have fun together. In September 2023, a friend (who is the closest to me in the group and who we will call by the name of "Stella") introduces me to a girl, with whom I talk all evening, we have the same interests and in general we get along well talking, but nothing much happens that party night. To shorten it, we get together after a few days. For the first few days I was hesitant and then I completely fell in love with it. Months pass, the university session arrives and I can't pass any of the exams I had to pass. Small aside, since I live on campus with a scholarship, by July 2024 I have to pass all the first year exams with an average of 24/30, I have four to go. In that period I don't know what came over me but I tightened my hands around her neck almost to drown her, and then removed my grip and apologized for the gesture I had made. What I did doesn't make logical sense, but I attribute it now thanks to a therapy I'm following, which was associated with the study. The first time we "underestimated" it, or rather she had nightmares and difficulty sleeping at night but we had never had a serious discussion about this thing, also, and here I admit it, because I hadn't started talking seriously about this either. Some time passes and classes start again, I felt like sometimes I wasn't focused on studying, I had difficulty studying and I took refuge from her. Well this frustration was repeated a second time with the same gesture towards her. This time we talked about it, and seriously considered starting therapy because it was clear I needed help. A week goes by, in which I don't notice anything special, and she writes me a message: "I don't feel well, I want to sleep alone tonight", thinking that she might have a stomach ache or a headache, I decide to go up to her and see how are This time we talked about it, and seriously considered starting therapy because it was clear I needed help. A week goes by, in which I don't notice anything special, and she writes me a message: "I don't feel well, I want to sleep alone tonight", thinking that she might have a stomach ache or a headache, I decide to go up to her and see how she was doing. She opens the door for me, I ask her how she is, and she replies with "everything is fine but I have to talk to you". She tells me that she no longer has feelings towards me and that she can't continue, I tell her that we can always help each other but she, undaunted, decides to end it anyway. Days go by in which I try to "win her back" without success, I go to talk to her and tell her that I would move on. The problem is that often when I'm with my friends, she's there too and after talking to her, seeing her often gave unwanted results. I felt bad again, and I couldn't stop thinking about what I did. I decide to go and talk to her, this time asking her to try again. I get a categorical no. He tells me he's getting scared and wants his space, and I rightly agreed. Let's get to the point, what happened yesterday. After the last time we spoke, I didn't write to her anymore and at most I said hello when we passed each other around campus, nothing more. Obviously we take into account the group dinners where we were both there or during the study. Last night, it was Stella's boyfriend's birthday, and both my ex and I were there. Towards the end of the evening the girls, talking to each other, raise the topic of dating and, since I was literally half a meter away from them, I hear my ex say that she is dating a boy off campus and that it's nothing special though. serious and that there was only something "carnal". I stare into space for 20 seconds to say I feel sleepy and go home. Needless to say, I cried late into the night because deep down I still have feelings for her and knowing that she was able to move on from our relationship in less than a month pretty much killed me. In the end that's all. I would like your opinion and you are free to tell me anything that comes to mind.

So I started writing a taylor swift style break-up song a little while ago, even before april and murphy actually broke up, but with the incredible drama this week I was inspired to work more on it. Didn't get to write about everything that would be worthy, but I felt it was already getting really long. Enjoy and thank you for the incredible RP to all involved!
Lyrics:
Verse 1: So this is the ending with zero regrets Went all-in on red and lost all of your bets Know I'm thankful for the things left behind But now it is time I stop being confined
Chorus: You say I was a breath of fresh air But you were cigarette smoke in a sports car So I looked out the window to the sun's glare Knew deep within myself I'm my own star
Verse 2: And your ex wife told my driver that you loved me In a hushed voice driving up to your therapy From the moment that we met, it was a scene Like a black and white movie on the big screen
Chorus: You say I was a breath of fresh air But you were cigarette smoke in a sports car So I looked out the window to the sun's glare Knew deep within myself I'm my own star
Verse 3: We both know the city was against us Stirring so hard could be called treasonous And still it doesnt change what you called me Lazy and ungrateful, would you disagree?
Bridge: Didn't you know it would mess with my head Your empty promise, my empty wallet Swore to pluck me the moon from the sky Instead days of silence just drifted by Why did you try so hard to have me Why did you act the faithful devotee Why, once I was yours completely Did you let your work total eclipse me
And for one final stab, Scraped off the scab, "I love you, don't go" Why confuse me so
Chorus: You say I was a breath of fresh air But you were cigarette smoke in a sports car So I looked out the window to the sun's glare Knew deep within myself I'm my own star

Hey I ordered a ton of perfume during a mental breakdown. Here are my thoughts on some of them.
— Black-Hearted Tart —
We Fell In Love In October (Fluffy, hot off the griddle pancakes topped with butter and smothered in golden maple syrup. Accompanied by a side of spiced baked apples with notes of nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger): Buttercream, cinnamon yankee candle, nothing. That’s the extent of my journey. Honestly, it’s fine, it’s a very inoffensive fall scent, if you want to smell like you’ve crushed a craft store on your wrist it’s great, but a lot is missing. If notes are a choir, the cinnamon has a megaphone. Honestly, I’ve been looking for a good pancake or waffle scent for a while, and this misses the mark. 3/5, not bad at all, but not was I was looking for and definitely not fit to wear yet in the Hell Summer I have coming up.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Gifting to people who still use the word “spoopy”
• School bake-sale days
• Smoking cigarettes on the roof

Boys Wanna Be Her (Uplifting basil and bergamot add freshness. Enhanced with an earthy blend of buddha wood and oak moss. Tonka bean and white patchouli evoke a bohemian vibe): Boys Wanna Be Clean too, apparently, because the crux of this frag is SOAP, lots of it, and nothing but it. I have no clue where it’s coming from based on the notes, but it’s undeniably suds. It smells like those industrial strength white bars. Like “I just worked a twelve hour shift and the first thing I did when I got home was scrub myself down so hard my nose forgot what work smelled like.” This would probably be great for layering, come to think of it, but I like “violently clean” scents and will probably wear it on its own anyway. 3.5/5 if you’re like me and soap is a comfort scent, or if you’re some kind of Patron Saint of Laundry Detergent, you’d probably like this too.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Showing up Febreeze
• Infiltrating rich person bathrooms where the shower has fifty nozzles that move and every surface is marble
• Feeling peppy and awake on mornings where you just want to crash

— OSMOFOLIA —
Finally A Star (The glitz of cardamom and sparkling grapefruit stars, outer space ozone, dreamy tuberose, searing gunpowder, and a ham hock for a head): I’m so mad that this is good. The joke with my IRL friends regarding this order was “you know I wasn’t in a good place when I made this purchase because I got ham perfume.” And I'm the joke now, because I ended up liking it a lot. Like, this is currently the only Osmo frag that has ever worked on me, and I’ve tried a sizable chunk of their library. (Seriously, I was going to include another perfume of theirs to compare and contrast, but everything I said felt too mean.) To make matters worse, you can definitely smell the ham and the gunpowder in the beginning! It’s in the background behind a really juicy grapefruit note, but it’s present. Part of the way this perfume was sold to me were reviews that assured me the ham was more of a bacon note, but no. This is honey baked ham. Deli-core. But the grapefruit note is so juicy that it takes over and makes it manageable. It’s pretty and weird and vaguely delicious and I’m worried someone will try to take a bite out of my facemeat when I wear this, but I will wear it. 3.5/5, I guess?
Potential Practical Uses:

• Ill-advised bereavement meals
• Going poolside but your bathing suit is hotdog-themed
• Happily single manic pixie dream girls

— Sorcellerie Apothecary—
Cake For Breakfast (Birthday cake, ripe mango, pineapple, coffee, maple syrup, and a hint of cardamom): Okay, I get it, coffee doesn’t like my skin. This is a bitter burnt caramel on me, though according to my friends with working noses, it reads more vanilla to them. I wish I could get what they got: as the day goes on, it started pulling borderline savory on me. It’s like… okay, you know when you make pancakes and little drops of batter get stuck to the pan? And then they stay there and slowly burn into little balls of ash? It smells like the process of that happening, but someone is chugging coffee syrup. I can’t say I got the mango or pineapple, which I was kinda pulling for; there’s a possibility it was there in the opening, but I also could have been hallucinating considering how fast it vanished. I’m giving it a 2/5, I can’t fully say it’s bad, especially because the drydown is okay if you like your caramel overdone, but I don’t think I’ll be keeping this.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Manifesting disappointment
• Becoming the exhausted diner waitress you’ve always dreaded being
• Reconnaissance in Seattle

Your Girlfriend Is A Badass (Yellow cake with fudge icing, oakmoss, Himalayan cedar, forest floor): By all accounts, this shouldn’t have worked. I hate chocolate as a perfume note, because it tends to go tootsie roll on me, and I’m not the biggest fan of yellow cake because vanilla is a death note, and “forest floor” implies dirt, which I’m also not an enjoyer of. This is all to say I honestly don’t know what possessed me to buy this, but I’m extremely glad it did because I’m in love. When they say fudge icing, they mean it: it didn’t go cheap or artificial on me, it was honest to god chocolate the whole time. I know “I wanted to lick my wrist” is a cliche in reviews, but it did smell like my arm was edible. That dirt note is prominent, but it works in harmony with the chocolate and gives the whole thing depth. As it dries down, an unexpected party joins: incense. I can’t name which exactly, but it has undeniable headshop vibes to it. It sounds weird, especially because it’s not in the notes (unless this is just Sorce’s base), but it works. It’s like… a joint retirement cake between Joni Mitchell and Walt Whitman. Or like you’re making s'mores in a log cabin with a bunch of your stoner friends who super aren’t going to die to a slasher later. It’s definitely greater than the sum of its parts, and pretty much seals the deal on me crawling back to Sorcellerie for another order. 4.5/5, easy, would annoy the Haunted Forest No One Should Step Foot In for cake again.
Potential Practical Uses:

• Tracking down the man who killed your parents
• Hiking on a cold Midwest evening, alone with your thoughts
• Daphne specifically

My ex likely had NPD and some other... issues. He was kind of covert, though. He wouldn't raise his voice, he was more about doing covert things to get a reaction out of me. Getting a reaction out of me seemed to be his biggest goal.
He was also a fake people pleaser, but there were a number of things he said clearly that he was opposed to. When we first got together I was poly and told him that and he wasn't OK with it. So I became monogamous with him which was fine but it was a sacrifice I made. Later in the relationship I suggested opening the relationship to get his needs met because we had a dead bedroom situation because I had serious health issues and he didn't seem to understand how to work around them to maintain intimacy. He agreed but with the stipulation that I could only sleep with women. I told him that wasn't fair and we had an argument.
The outcome of the argument is that he decided not to open the relationship because if I were to sleep with another man it would mean that he was "a failure as both a man and a lover" [his words] so I left it at that. A couple weeks later I caught him cheating on me [dumb right!?! I was giving him permission and he rejected it!].
There were some other things. He told me he hated cigarette smokers. He told me he thinks overweight women are unattractive. He refused to get kinky in the bedroom with me even though he had a "kink kit" that he got from the mall or something before we met. He said he doesn't smoke weed [that was a lie.. he was just mirroring me when I told him I didn't smoke weed].
When he left me on a whim, he immediately got into a relationship and moved in with a person who 1. was overweight 2. heavily smoked cigarettes and weed 3. was into public kink 4. was VERY poly 5. whose favorite band was probably in my top 5 most disliked bands [he later rubbed this in my face so I'm adding it here for context] 6. was a sex worker
He basically got into a relationship with the type of person he either told me he hated, or was diametrically opposed to everything that he expected of me and restricted me to.
I've done a lot of healing since the breakup, but this is one thing I haven't made total peace with. How can someone create and hold certain expectations of me, and then make a complete 180? Is it a NPD thing?
He also tried really hard to rub this relationship in my face after the breakup. He was trying to get a jealous reaction out of me, and he kept upping the ante when he didn't get it. It led to him creating a fake story about how he was dying, which certainly got a reaction out of me.. I called his family to ask if he was OK and then he got angry at me for exposing his BS and blocked me.
I'm wondering if others here have experienced similar, because if I can throw it into the "irrational NPD behavior" bin perhaps I can make peace with it. Thank you for reading.

14 hours ago i smoked a pack of cigarettes and that was the last ones https://www.reddit.com/stopsmoking/s/3ZvgbNw2ot
Then I face my biggest cravings and faught it hard and succeeded https://www.reddit.com/stopsmoking/s/xusww5YU19
I faught my urge to smoking. This book helped https://www.reddit.com/stopsmoking/s/P88HCdzKz3

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/OffMyChestPH/s/rZznjBrMXb
This is the second night with her.
Since maraming nag request ng update here we go. This one is a long read(you guys asked for this)
So a lil sumthing about me. I'm not really a nice guy. I wouldn't call myself a bad dude either but I'm the type of dude na I won't let my sisters to date. I'm not the ideal.
So yep, sinundo ko s'ya hotel n'ya. That was 5pm. She's so awkward talaga as ever. I tried opening the door for her pero naunahan n'ya ako. She didn't know kung saan kame pupunta but plinano ko na pupunta kame sa cat cafe since I know how much she loves cats dahil majority ng captured pictures n'ya sa phone ay mga pusa n'ya na observe ko nung first date namin.
Oh and before the date lininis ko talaga yung kotse ko carwash/vacuum. Even bought a new cabin air filter.
Anyways during the trip I was just asking her abt her day and the previous day. Wala parin s'yang idea sa pupuntahan namin. Pero nung nag papark na kame nakita n'ya yung cat cafe and nanliwanag yung mata n'ya. Iba rin yung ligaya na naramdaman ko pag nakikita ko ren yung saya n'ya. She got excited and we stayed there for an hour hahah. Bought her a t-shirt and crocs charms na souvenir ng cafe. I also like the fact na she's willing to pay her part everytime we spend something. But I've never let her spent anything while she's with me. So tapos na kame don. And after non di n'ya parin alam kung san na kame pupunta little did she know we're going to another cat cafe na mas maganda. Buttt di kame umabot kase closing na nung dumating kame don hahah nasa mall yon and medyo crowded. So I initiated to hold hands dahil I wanna keep track of her dahil nawawala s'ya sa peripheral vision ko at medyo mabagal s'yang maglakad talaga or mabilis ako hahah. Pati pag holding hands ang awkward n'ya na di marunong. So we walked around the city again while planning kung san pupunta. And while crossing one of the roads tinangal n'ya yung Crocs dahil madudulas daw s'ya. Maulan kase so basa yung kalsada. So naka paa s'ya hahah weirdo. Kaya biglang binuhat ko na lang s'ya patawid hahah and I bought her a new set of tsinelas since pudpud na pala yung Crocs n'ya kaya pala sinabe n'yang madulas. So di n'ya rin pala magagalit yung charms na binili ko hahah 😅 and after that we went to the beach na malapit lang. I just watched her. Then we talked again while sitting on the sand honestly we struggle to communicate like normal and go deep. She's very bad at talking in person. And also the fact that she's nervous. But we ended up sharing our life back in highschool.
Oh I also took photos of her through out the date dahil I know she's also bad at taking pictures but she likes taking pictures of her and stuffs. And I know how it sucks to be by yourself all the time and only have one form of picture taking(selfie). I'll share it here(yes I'm just flexing how ethereal she is)
Well, after the beach we ended going to the arcade para mag escape room kame pagkatapos. We had fun even though she's really awkward and quiet. Sinabayan ko ren kaweirdohan n'ya by sniffing her armpit after every game namin kahit anong laroin namin 😆
Tapos somehow nakahanap ako ng rose flower na naiwan ng ibang costumer and I was smooth with it dahil inaamoy ko yung kili kili n'ya then I suddenly gave her the rose. Gosh, her reaction... She was really blushing. Apparently it's her first time receiving flowers from someone in person. Tagal den namen sa arcade kaya di na naabutang bukas yung susunod na pupuntahan namen.
Kaya deadset na kameng makahanap ng alak pero it was very late na at that point it basically just became a night ride with a lil purpose. We were just looking for places na bukas pa to look for alcohol. There's a cute interaction I had with one of the places we went pero di namin nagustohan. We were at the parking lot and naka upo lang sa kotse ko looking for the next place to go. And may matandang lalaki na pinababa bintana ko para makipag usap tungkol sa kotse ko at kinompliment n'ya at pinag usapan namen yung car and at the end of our convo in compliment rin ng s'ya nung matanda. Ang ganda n'ya daw pero tinawag n'ya s'yang asawa at girlfriend ko hahaha that felt so good even though we were together she got shookt ren dahil di ata s'ya sanay maka tangap ng compliments hahah
But yeah it was just an hour two of me driving and her on my passenger sit while hugging my Gengar plushie. I never take anyone on my passenger seat besides my plushie so she's basically my first passenger princess.
When we gave up to look for alcohol we just went sa 711 to get siopao and water. We finished the night at the beach again to talk and smoked a cigarette cause she wanted to try it hahah
I guess she wanted to get drunk so she can come out of her shell a lil bit? Kase when we tried talking she can't come up with anything. To describe her, she's basically not normal. She admits it too.
She suggested that I can just talk and she'll listen. Which is I'm no way used to at that time I was also kinda vulnerable and was gonna get emotional with her pero I told her na she can ask me anything then we can start from there.
She asked me the most unhinged thing and caught off guard. Aling betlog ko daw yung mas mababa 😭 and I guess it's one of the things I like about her. Like who tf asks that under the moon light in the beach after a date?
So I was expecting her to have an emotional conversation with me when that's not her. So I just watched her do her thing that makes her happy. We went through her phone hahah this time sa discord and ig n'ya. She was just yapping while showing stuffs and was just mesmerized the whole because that's how she expresses herself. And the more ko na narealize kung gaano talaga kame mag kaiba. I'm also very surprised na she doesn't really talk to other guys. We did that until inaantok na s'ya and that was around 3:30am. So sinamahan ko lng s'ya hangang sa elevator ng hotel. I didn't get to hug her or smell her armpit cause she rushed in dahil sobrang antok n'ya na.
Man, when I tell you. That was the longest 35 mins drive back home I ever had. I caught myself tearing up sa mga stop signs/red lights from the overwhelming emotions I'm having.
So anyways this is just some of the thoughts and details that I have to share of that night; like I said I'm not the best dude but I surprised myself that night. I had my phone on do not disturb because I wanted to enjoy the moment. Opened every door for her even sa car. Minimal physical contact like holding hands but not all the time and I cherished every single moment of it. I ALWAYS asked how she's feeling every chance I get. I asked her what her boundaries are so I won't ever make her uncomfy. Which she didn't answer for some reason that I'll never know. I observed her and wanted to learn her. Never had her spend money the whole time she's with me.
Hmmm. I really went beyond and surprised of myself. My main objective of that night was just her happiness.
Honestly I was just scared of asking her what she feels about me... Part of me thinks na it's only platonic on her side or that she's not as emotionally invested as me. Which is fine by me but it stings. Kase I never really know her intentions from the yellow app wether she's looking for a friend or something else. Also caught her stalking my profile sa bumble so baka crush nyako hehe(delulu). And there's also the underlying bittersweet fact na we both know there's an ending to it. Uuwi ren s'ya in a couple days. And as for me I know from myself na I never do LDR. But still, I wanted to do my best for her. Even though I know we are not the endgame. I want to be her standard. I want to give her the best couple nights she can have so she'll have something to remember for a very long time on her life. She somehow made me a better person that night. So yeah guys I'll have to cut this post since I'm getting kinda teary na. There's so much more I wanted to share but words cannot describe it so yeah I did the best I can to share ;))
Oh and yes, we're going on a date again later tonight ofc ;))

Please let me preface by saying I’ve experienced what I’m about to explain for a month now. I’m desperately trying to not be a perceived as a difficult & uptight tenant and downstairs neighbor.
I understand “apartment life” comes with noises. I don’t expect peace and complete silence. I’m smack dab in the middle of a unit above and below me. But I’ve put up with excessive noise and the smell of marijuana at all hours of the night and early morning. I don’t want to cause a conflict with the upstairs neighbor by going and talking to them. I told my landlord about the smell and she seemed like she’s had that complaint before and told me to call the courtesy officer to bust them since they haven’t been able to locate tenants who do that. Some of my blankets have the smell of burning marijuana and cigarettes. I don’t do any of that. We have a clear no-smoking clause in our lease.
Onto the noise. The people above me have large groups of people over, slam every door in the place, stomp, blare music, and yell to the point where I can hear clear as day what they say. This is at all hours of the night. I can hear their singing, yelling, basically any noise through my noise cancelling headphones at full volume. I work 55 hours a week, 11 hours a day. I hear people talking and yelling all day. I want to enjoy being here for a year and not feel like a bad person for being annoyed at my neighbor above me.
Given these conditions, am I within my legal right to request a different unit to relocate to within the complex? If not, what can I do? I really don’t want my upstairs neighbor or my landlord to label me as difficult.

In the last months, I have intensely been thinking about distancing myself from my autistic twin brother.
I have autistic traits too, so I understand his social struggles, but sometimes I feel so drained by his lack of interaction, especially because he doesn't have an intellectual disability, he's even smarter than average and I'm sure he has lots of interesting ideas to share.
We live in the same city, but he never contacts me, never sends a message or calls me just to ask me how I'm doing.
If I look at our chats, I'm always the one who text first.
If I don't ask him questions or find a topic, he can stay silent for hours, playing games with his phone.
Today we were having dinner at our grandparents’ house, at one point I went to the garden to smoke a cigarette, and as soon as I finished it, I heard him leaving without even saying goodbye.
Honestly, I'm tired of this unilateral relationship. I tried to connect with him in every possible way, but he never reciprocated my commitment. Sometimes I feel guilty about my decision, especially considering that he'd like to be more sociable and often expressed his unhappiness about his lack of friends, but at the same time, being constantly ignored is disheartening.