Me and my partner are renting our first house. When reading the tenancy agreement we noted it states we aren’t allowed in the loft for any reason. This wasn’t mentioned previously. Out of curiosity and from a legal standpoint, am I entitled to know what’s up there? I’m fine with not going up there but for peace of mind, if I’m going to go to the estate agents (landlord doesn’t deal with tenants) and ask what’s up there, are they obligated to tell me? (England btw)

It's been a feeling I've had for a long time. I know logically that it doesn't make sense and that things don't work like that, but it's happened too much. Especially on or around my birthday. I've had a friend fall and need stitches on my birthday, I've had one get accidentally set on fire going too close to a tiki torch. I was essentially kicked out of a school I went to because of my disability (long story, it was a private school so we weren't really sure what the legality of that is, and didn't want me going somewhere they died want me even if we could force them). I've had the typical experiences of being forgotten by family or friends, invited people to parties or hangouts nobody came to.
But my luck isn't only bad on my birthday, at this point things have gotten comically bad, one thing after another before I've even had time to recover. A pet recently had to be put down, his brother was showing signs of the same issues THAT DAY. And he's had to have 2 surgeries already that I really can't afford, and literally less than a day after the surgery it looks like it's back and I'm crushed that I spent a grand of money I don't have begging and pleading to help him because I can't lose another so soon, and it was all for nothing. I've had a series of failed relationships, including a long term girlfriend who started dropping L-bombs and then ghosted me completely, I went on a couple dates after that, even ones I thought went really well and poof, they ghosted me too. And one of the people who ghosted me ended up pulling some cruel prank on me a while after. I started seeing someone recently I really liked, and despite us working really well together there a re other complications that make it pretty clear we will never be a thing. A friend brought me out to distract me from the BS? I drop my phone and the screen shatters while we are out. I scheduled a tattoo as a birthday gift to myself before my second pet started having rapidly spreading health issues that I knew were going to cripple me financially, and I have someone who's helping me with that but won't be able to for a while, the day I was gonna get the tattoo it had to be canceled for unrelated reasons qnd pushed off, she already made the design and set asside a day for my appointment so I'd hate to cancel know, especially when I really really wanted this one thing for myself, but id hate to just keep chucking expenses on my card.
Oh and it gets so much better, I come to pick up some food from my mom today, who tells me my dad probably has cancer. He's getting the tests done tomorrow and they're saying that even if it is cancer it's a very slow moving one, but he's already in his 80s...
I legitimately feel cursed, I feel poisonous, like anything that makes me happy just keeps slipping through my fingers small or large, and all I do is bring suffering to the people around me, weather it's directly because seeing all this shit keep happening is causing them pain when they can't help, or honestly sometimes I feel like my luck is contagious and bad things start happening to people's who try and get close to me.
I had a confrontation with my girlfriend who ghosted me after like a month had passed to air things out and she basically admitted that she doesn't really have an excuse, that she loves me but my feelings can be catchy, and she's got too much going on in her life right now to be able to handle my pain amd need for support on top of that, and was too cowardly to tell me this and face the facts.
I couldn't even bring myself to be mad. I was just numb. I feel cold and I feel alone, like everything is on my shoulders and it's all on the verge of falling apart if not actively doing so. It's never enough. People keep telling me I'm so strong for managing all of this but I'm tired. I don't want to be strong anymore. I just want to be happy. I just want to feel at peace and have SOMETHING in my life that I don't think is going to crumble at my touch.
It's been plaguing my mind. I know it doesn't make logical sense but I just can't shake the feeling that the universe is out to get me, or that I'm being punished for something, the idea that I'm being punished for trying to be happy or thinking I deserve to be keeps coming up. I know it does make logical sense but every time I think I've reached my limit or found SOMETHING to enjoy about life some other huge curveball heads my way. I'm just so tired and I don't know how much more of it I can handle.
I know I have certain privileges and advantages others don't, I know there are people out there with far worse lives than me but that doesn't change how burnt out and empty I feel. I feel like I have nothing left in me and I just keep being squeezed for more and more, i keep pushing, keep trying, but what choice do I have?

General Info:

• Full name: Max Macallister
• Birthday: 8/21/2020
• Current age: 19
• Hometown: Chicago, Illinois

Favorite Things:

• Foods: Max can eat anything he and his aunt would hunt but thanks to her and her wonderful cooking, he grew to love pork more than any normal teenager should.
• Hobbies: Living in the woods didn't allow for many hobbies but since he couldn't hunt on his own before the age of 12, he and whatever birds wanted to tag along went exploring. Until this day, hiking and orienteering are his favourite things to do.

Appearance:

Faceclaim	Height	Weight	Body Type	Eyes
FC	6’ 1”	174 lbs	Lean and muscled, Max developed himself through hunting and routine training at camp along with a few dozen near death experiences.	Stormy grey, look almost pitch black under darker light.

Powers (Modmailed):

Domain Powers

Power	Description
Greater Lordship: Birds, Wind and Storm Spirits	Ever since he was young, Max lived in the woods with his Aunt and had no friends whatsoever. He was nearly completely isolated. That being said, his nature as a son of the king of the sky has given him the ability to speak to and control birds and wind or storm spirits. He's still trying to work on his authority with this power though wind spirits and birds do what he wants most of the time.
Wind/Air Manipulation	Having used this ability to accidentally destroy a cabin at camp and maybe cripple a boy, Max doesn't underestimate this ability and has been trying to practice controlling it.
Travel of the Elder Gods	Having the ability to travel distances with a lightning strike, Max is in the process of training with this power in hopes of using it to visit his aunt one day. His control has improved in spades since he first discovered it, however.

Minor Powers

Power	Description
Electrical Resistance	Despite Max never needing it so far in his life, he is resistant to electricity to a certain degree.
Electricity Manipulation	The ability to call down two lightning bolts per day, Max has gotten more used to this ability since its discovery.
Double Jump	Max has always felt more mobile when using his air manipulation though he never knew it was a separate ability.

Major Power

Power	Description
Bird's Eye View	Shortly after Max was forced to leave for camp, he discovered his ability to see through the eyes of birds. He can do this with any bird and has gained a few different birds he can do this with during his past year at camp. While he is using this ability, he is immobilized. Being a vital part of his arsenal, Max is much better at using it in battle though his mastery still has room to improve.

Equipment:

Item	Description
Featherweight	A bow made for Max by Barry Callahan. The bow is a simple thing, carved of birch wood. The white and grey bark looks like a rolling storm as it cascades down the wood. The bowstring is reinforced by two celestial bronze gears, made to help the archer pull the bow back and sustain that draw for longer. There are bronze carvings on the gears, the eagles being a nice touch on the metal for a simple design. A sight unfolds from the middle of the bow, folding down into place. The crosshairs in the sight are lightning bolts, meeting at a point, but the circumference of the sight is decorated like a weathervane.
Fraterculus	A celestial bronze xiphos that used to belong to Matt, before he gave it to Max for his first quest.
Tactical Spear	A celestial bronze tactical spear that originally belonged to his mom as a present from Zeus. It can change form into a pocket watch.
Custom Arrows	His collection of ammunition for his bow, including celestial bronze tipped arrows, some broadheads he found in the camp armory, and some trick arrows, including flash-bang arrows and net arrows.
Bead Necklace	2037 As a symbol of his past year at camp, Max was given a bead thanks to it being the end of the year. Beads so far:
Banging Beats Player	A stylized iPod Nano that when used to play music, lets out a high pitch screech that stuns those in hearing range. (1 combat turn stun at 5 meters, Loss of hearing at 10 meters, and Buzzing noise at 20 meters)
Amazon Catalogue	The Amazon Catalogue is a small digital tablet that can access the Amazon family of products (Prime, Kindle, etc.) and the store with free shipping, without triggering a monster's scent, and without need for a constant internet connection. The tablet still requires charge (Type-C). It is as sturdy as a standard Amazon Kindle. An occasional connection to an Internet or Ethernet source is required to ensure system interfacing (at least once a week). Although subscription fees are waived through the host account on this device, the user is still required for any additional costs.
Companion Egg	A large, glowing silvery egg. It is said to be able to hatch into a new companion for Max. It is unclear what kind of companion the egg will produce, but Max has been taking care to keep it safe and warm.

Friends:

Name	Relationship
Simon	A gyrfalcon that saved Max from the monster that destroyed his home. Simon was uncannily intelligent when it comes to bird standards. After finding a piece of a map that pointed to the Camp, Simon helped him make it there without dying. The three month journey strengthened their bond tenfold.
Mathew Knight	A son of Hades, Matt is Max's cousin and adopted (not legally) brother who he treasures greatly. Despite the son of Hades' ability to protect himself, Max would still do his best to protect him in any given situation. Basically, hurt him and prepare for immediate avian bombardment.
Austin Reynolds	As a son of Eros, for Max, Austin was easy to love. Too easy in fact, to the point where Max started loosing himself which led to them breaking up. Now Max's ex-boyfriend, Austin remains a friend if not as close as before.
Lupa Hines	Being one of the few people to know about Max's fear of waters, Lupa quickly became someone who Max trusted. Her help as Mediator made facing his fear a little more approachable and a lot less panic attack inducing.
Tori	A bluejay Max made friends with over the past year, Tori is the 'kind but stern' to Simon's sarcasm and joking.

Family:

Member	Name	Age	Relationship
Father	Zeus	Immortal	After the battle against the residents of the labyrinth and the forces of Nemesis, Max had a chance to speak to Zeus, though he spoke through a holographic eagle. Max's opinion of his father is positive though not affectionate enough to be called a familial bond.
Mother	Mary Macallister	36	While speaking with Max, his father, Zeus, showed him an image of his mother and explained that she wasn't the kind of woman to abandon her child when he'd left.
Aunt	Lillian Macallister	Missing	Since she took him in at the age of 3, Max's aunt became like a mother to him and taught him to hunt. She also gifted him his crossbow and the celestial bronze bolts that Zeus had supposedly given his mother before she passed it on to his aunt. He recently discovered that she's still alive.
Half-Sibling	Tristan Macmillan	21	Max's opinion of his veteran half-brother is much higher than most would assume. Despite his half-brother's being more withdrawn by nature, Max still looks up to him as an example of what a child of Zeus should be.

Personality:

Max isn't the most social kid on the block by any means but he has definitely begun to be more outgoing, or at least he's tried to be. He tries to approach people but isn't very well verse in the art of conversation and might come off insensitive or clueless from time to time.
Despite all of this, there remains one permanent aspect to Max's personality which was marked upon him while growing up. During his childhood, Max read stories about what families should be like and the discovery of his mother abandoning him paired with his Aunt's disappearance have made him near overprotective of those he calls family.

History:

The past two years at camp had been what Max would call the best time of his life, case in point, making friends that weren't of the avian persuasion, having a boyfriend for a time, pseudo-adopting a child of the God of Death as his little brother (He's just the cutest little guy), almost dying multiple times, going on two quests, and generally learning how to be a functional human being (He was still working on that last one).
Still, the time at camp had changed him, mostly for the better but he knew he couldn't stay at camp forever. That being said, the place was home. His family was here and he'd be damned if he let himself lose sight of that. He'd left camp shortly after his second quest. It had given him things to think about and work through but now he was back.
Plus, traveling around for a few months just hunting monsters by rumor or through the avian grapevine had been fun. It gave him a look at what the future could hold for him, at least for a little while after camp.
Present Day:
Sitting atop Cabin 1, Max watched the sun pull itself over the horizon with a stupid grin on his face. He wasn't sure why he was in a good mood today but he never did when these moods came over him. He just liked to enjoy them as they came and went. With a huff, he slid off the side of the cabin roof and cushioned the fall with a thought.
Stretching, the black-haired young man looked up. Maybe his dad was watching... or maybe not. It didn't really matter. Max knew he cared and wether or not he watched at any given moment didn't matter. Hmm... Would practicing his lightning-jumps be a bad idea this early in the morning? Yes, almost definitely. Would Max be doing it anyways? Yup! He needed to get his rebellious teenage years out since he'd skipped that whole phase and he'd started doing so little by little. Who knew? Maybe Max would end up a responsible and serious young man if he did it enough (Doubtful but peripherally possible, if not highly unlikely).
So he grinned and with a thunderclap and a blinding lightning bolt, he went from standing next to the Zeus Cabin, to standing at the edge of the Strawberry Fields. What a wonderful day.

Preface: if we find out in the end that Keith Gill traveled here from from the future to save us all… would anyone here really be that surprised?
Anyways, some things really jumped out at me with this exercise. I had fun, and RK is a top-tier entertainer in any order.
One that really jumped out though was Ben Affleck as RC outside the store, and then Ben Affleck asking Jeremy Renner to do a job with him (from The Town, I believe). If Ben is RC… is Jeremy RK? Because through that filter, my read becomes about RC calling on RK to run a distraction as the Avengers assemble. Hard to explain this all coherently, because it’s just a series of impressions. I don’t have a syllogism to share, but I’m enjoying myself.
The gif from Split immediately preceding (or following, in this exercise) Ben Affleck outside of the store like RC, plus the way the Fight Club vid plays out (with RK positioned as the narrator)—if these posts are telling a story, and I strongly suspect they are telling some sort of story, then it further heightens my suspicions that RK has teamed up with RC and that all of it is 100% on the level. That is, they did the paperwork. They figured out exactly how ballsy they could legally be and then ran a fucking train on the hedges.
Do RK tweets move the price? Nah. Busted. And yet, while everyone was distracted by the ol’ KC Shuffle, I think our guy decided to do it himself. That is, a Teflon move was made which will absolutely wreck those dorks that involves executing some complicated and mysterious business plan, ensuring sustainability and profitability, and yes, squeezing the fuck out of this stock.
To clarify: I think RC chose to do it himself… but like, with his team of superheroes of course. Enough is enough. Enough was enough years ago. And I think he figured if regulators weren’t gonna do shit then he was finna do shit.
We talk about just making sure the business is doing good, which makes perfect sense, but even if that’s the plan, that’s infinitely harder to execute with all these fucking vultures circling around. So he pulled the trigger. Peace, dickheads.
Honorable mention: the ATM scene from No Country—well whaddya know, Friday featured an ATM agreement.
Edit: WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP Cat fuckeem uupppp

My Turkish family is quite big and has a strong culture where anything that is seen as normal for most people is completely against our culture. For example, dressing the way you want to. If it’s too revealing in their eyes, you’re not allowed outside.
Or the typical rule that young women like me who aren’t married yet, aren’t allowed to go outside past a certain hour or have their own freedom, even though they are already legally adults. Boys mostly have the say in our family and have more rights than I do. We are expected to be housewives and live true to our culture. Know how to cook and clean etc.. If you want to live alone as a woman without marrying, you’re seen as a wh0..3
I am an 18-year-old high school student and, unfortunately, still live with my parents. I’m graduating from 10th grade this year and will be doing my Abitur in grades 11 to 13. My problem is that my parents are very controlling. I always have to send my live location when I’m outside because they don’t believe anything. I have no privacy, they drain my energy every day, and sometimes they listen to my phone calls or stalk me in the bathroom, just because I’m looking at myself in the mirror or something. They want me to find a job and marry within our culture and live with them, but I have big dreams. I want to move out, live somewhere far from them, and see the world. I want to have my own freedom, go wherever I want to go, do what I want, and be able to dress or express myself the way I want to.
I want to be independent. But I don’t know how.
They are totally against this and don’t support my dreams or my desire to move out. I have received mental abuse and threats ever since I was a kid, and I’m not sure if I can handle this any longer for the next three years. They always threaten to take everything I own or even worse, and whenever I tell anyone from my family about my problems, they take my parents’ side and tell me how great it is to have parents who care about me. But I really don’t feel comfortable around them.
I need time for myself. Time to figure out who I am, what I like, and what I want to achieve in my life. I want to move out, but I have no idea how to do anything or how anything works. I have a part-time job and am saving up, but I don’t know for what. My whole life, they did everything for me and didn’t allow me to figure it out myself. Now that I’m 18, they expect me to know everything, and they won’t even help me. If i want to achieve knowledge to be more independent, they wont allow me to do so but then will complain how „childish“ i am at this age and how i dont know anything. If I leave and move out, I’m on my own, and my parents will cut off contact because I’m a disappointment to the family. Im basically dependent on them. I need help. I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t want to live here anymore. The expectations are too high. I just want peace I don’t like anyone here but im scared to leave. I know i will have guilt and feel bad. But i would do it if i knew how..

I made a post 3 weeks ago about a cheque fraud (Linked here) that happened to my neighbor. Kind folks here commented and asked for details. Here they are.
Some of this may sound silly and stupid, but I am stating facts as they are. Please read and help.

1. Scamster posed as Metlife Insurance employee who needed to collect "final installment" of Rs 180 from neighbor. He had accurate details of insurance policy. He visited neighbor's home to collect, but didn't accept cash. Payment could only be made by cashier's cheque.
2. Neighbor wrote a cashier's cheque. He clearly wrote the name, amount (text and number), date and signature in ball point pen.
3. The words on cheque were overwritten. Name, amount, date are changed. Signature is untouched. The cheque has some indication that words are overwritten. I mean, it is like how pencil is erased but some letters are somewhat visible.
4. Neighbor did not have positive pay facility. He received no call from the bank when cheque was cleared.
5. Complaint and escalations - Bank has taken no responsibility and shifted the blame completely on neighbor.
6. FIR not registered - Police has taken a complaint, but refused to register FIR.

I am attaching masked cheque here. Please take a look for yourselves and suggest possible measures. https://postimg.cc/CB0ykmW4. Note that the cheque might look torn, but it is in one peace.
I am willing to escalate to Nodal, Principal Nodal desk and RBI Ombudsman. Also, I will push neighbor for FIR being registered - what are the grounds for FIR here?

I'm sorry this is so long 😢
To preface: My Mom lives 5 mins away, Grandma lives 30 mins away. We're a southern family composed of 90% women who grew up in multigenerational households. So the Mom-Daughter-Granddaughter oversharing relationships are our "normal"
I'm tirelessly trying to break this cycle of over sharing, micromanaging and lack of privacy. But it is SO HARD when you're the only one who sees it as unhealthy.
I have my own heavy stuff I'm dealing with. Depression, untreated adhd and single motherhood to a kiddo with a physical disability. I am exhausted, all.....the.....time.
My mom and grandma both expect daily calls. One in the morning for "whats on your agenda today" and a final one of "Well did you get x, y and z done?" With sprinkles of calls for questions that could be done via text, and calls that ask me if I've done this yet, have I finished this task, have I completed this errand, why haven't I started/finished this task?
I can get away with one day of not answering calls, anymore and my phone is blowing up thinking I'm dead in a ditch.
And they HAVE to tell me everything they've done today/plan on doing. Down to what they bought at the store and who all they've spoken to on the phone, and what's going on with THAT person. So this really is their normal
If I gently ask for some space or to not be called every day, they immediately go from 0-60 and start theorizing together with the family on why I don't want to talk to anyone, which brings on more stress. It HAS to be because something is going on and somethings wrong, or I've gotten into some kind of financial or legal trouble (Ive never been in any kind of trouble in my life).
Then I'll get texts and voice-mails asking if everything is okay, is why I'm stressed this reason, or that reason? Is it (insert stressful thing) or (other stressful thing) which just reopens the wound of said stressful thing and makes me ruminate about it.
I fear blocking them, because I need to see what they're saying. There have been times that I've tried ignoring them, but they text "If you don't answer I'm coming ovecalling the cops"
Which you then could say, then let the cops come, let her come and bang on the door. I'm really trying to avoid that. I don't want my landlord thinking there's any bs going on, and I really don't want my daughter to have to see any of that kind of drama. She has enough on her plate right now and is going through puberty. And we recently had a BIG bad dramatic incident with my Mom and her, so I'm trying to keep things as outwardly calm as I can. Even if it means I suffer internally 😞
Grey rocking only works so much, and it becomes easier all around to just give in a lot of times because I'm just so damn tired from everything going on right now. So I break my boundary, and the cycle continues.
**I can't make this shit up** Grandma JUST called and I was grey rocking and just answering questions and statements with yes/no/yeah/I know crazy/uh huh and she said "Are you okay? You don't sound ok"
I guarantee within the hour, I'll get texts/calls from my Mom "Granny said you're acting weird. What's wrong? Is it a b, c, d, e, f, g? Do I need to come over? If you can't cope I'll quit and take care of Jane (daughter)" they know I'm on a mental health challenging journey but are super old school about it and micromanage me through it, which does NOT help.
So I have the overwhelming urge to text my Grandma and say "I'm fine, I promise, I just didn't really feel like talking on the phone was all, I've got a lot on my plate today"
I swear it's the most tiring thing. Of course moving is the end goal but finances are keeping me here for now.
I realize I need to grow a stronger back bone, so I guess I'm asking how I do that? How do I politely do that, I guess, to keep the peace? And every time they do give me a semlance of a break, it only lasts for a few days and the silence is broken with "Well, are you better? Are you done going through whatever that was?"
If you made it this far bless you. Is anyone else's nparents this way? I realize in their own twisted sense, they truly believe they're not doing anything wrong and it's just normal to be this way. And in their eyes, they're just looking out for me. But it's suffocating.
They both grew up with siblings and doing a lot of things with their mother, I'm an only child and I've always been an introvert. But you bring this up and it's just scoffed at, or it's respected for a few days but then right back to square one.
Helpppppp 🙏 🙏 🙏

Hello po!
Here for insights on how to survive as a new lawyer. Please feel free to share your own experiences and how you dealt with the pressure of being a new JA in a firm. Would also like to hear stories of those who left their law firms early. Where did you go po? Thank you so much! 😃🫶
In a nutshell, please help me weigh if:
(a) Nag-iinarte lang ako. Everyone goes through this and I should just suck it up, or; (b) Firm life is just not for me. And that’s okay.
I graduated from UP/ADMU. I passed the Hernando bar last year, and got into a reputable firm that pays fairly (55-65k monthly for new lawyers, not bad).
On one hand, there’s a part of me who wants to stay for the factors listed below. These factors make me wonder if nag-iinarte lang ba ako, and I am actually lucky to land this job.

• Everyone in the firm is so nice. Even when I did something wrong, they did not scold me. Saktong gentle reminder lang so I can do better next time. I heard horror stories from my friends working at other law firms, which I am lucky enough not to experience here.
• Good pay for a new lawyer with zero experience prior to entering the firm.
• May work from home.

On the other hand, there are factors that are draining me both physically and mentally:

• For the past 5-6 weeks, I always have weekend work. I have reached the point where I am no longer looking forward to the weekend cos I just know I will still be working. I can’t go out with peace of mind.
• I can't have a good night sleep either because: (a) I still have to work, or (b) I am afraid someone will give urgent work while I’m asleep. And when I get to sleep, I occasionally have bad dreams about work HAHA I once dreamed about receiving an urgent email from the partner. So I rushed to check my laptop at 3am only to find out there is no email. Took me about 10 mins bago mahimasmasan na it’s just a bad dream. I was staring blankly at my laptop in disbelief HAHAHA. Totoo ba to? Wala ba talagang email? I can think of three more nightmares about work pero masyado na akong mapapakwento HAHA
• I am handling so many matters all at the same time. I am struggling to find a way to meet all my deadlines. Sometimes, I am left with no choice but to submit subpar outputs just for the sake of submitting. And this makes me so sad. My colleagues are so nice to me and I feed bad that they have so much to revise. I am now fearing that I will have a bad reputation in the firm and people will not want to work with me. (Or maybe that’s a good thing. Para kumonti workload ko HAHAHA jk). Right now, I can think of at least five things that I should work on (and yet here I am ranting on Reddit HAHAHA). Minsan sobrang dami ko dapat gawin, natutulala na lang ako.

I am trying my best to look at the bright side and stay positive. Counting my blessings, ika nga. But ngl, I am starting to hate work and it’s negatively affecting the quality of work I am submitting recently. Naiisip ko rin na ngayon pa lang, I am already struggling with the workload, pano pa pag mas tumagal ako sa firm at mas dumami pa responsibilities ko. I also don’t want to socialize with people in the firm anymore because: (i) wala na akong energy makipag-socialize; (ii) I fear that people are judging me for the outputs I submitted, and; (iii) ayoko ma-attach cos what if mag resign agad ako HAHAHA.
I am already thinking of quitting after less than 8 months in the firm. I think I am willing to apply for a lower position (e.g. legal assistant, admin, researcher) and suffer a pay cut just so I don’t have to work on weekends and stay up late at night, in constant fear that there will be new tasks. Am I giving up on firm life too easily? Tiisin ko na lang ba given that I am learning in the firm naman? Maybe I'll get used to the grind after x months? Or should I let my intrusive thoughts win and quit na HAHAHA. Are there people here who left their law firm agad? How did you survive afterwards?
Sorry for ranting past midnight. Will appreciate any tips po. Thank you so much! 😃🫶

• Shopping hours are limited, with most shops and pharmacies closing by 5 or 6 pm. 24/7 pharmacies are rare.
• Public schools mandate LGBTQ+ education, leading some Dutch parents to opt for homeschooling or religious schools instead.
• LGBTQ+ rights are legally protected and supported by taxpayer funds.
• Prostitution is legal, with taxpayer funds supporting related services. Adult stores and explicit product shops are commonly found in public areas.
• Marijuana is legal and taxpayer funds support this as well.
• Public urination is common, causing many streets, parking lots, elevators, corners, and stations to smell.
• Public toilets are paid, often dirty and smelly, and lack water jet sprays (Muslim showers).
• Pet dogs frequently defecate on streets, sidewalks, and grass, and sometimes sit on public benches and transport seats.
• Finding accommodation and general practitioners is challenging.
• Medical care is criticized for not being taken seriously unless in severe cases, with reports of negligence. It is not free despite high taxes.
• Public stations are often not clean, with some being particularly smelly, especially elevators, corners, and staircases.
• Taxpayer money funds the salaries and expenses of the Dutch royal family, with their budget exceeding €600,000.
• Not all public streets, sidewalks, stations, or parking areas are as clean as expected.
• The weather is often unfavorable, with frequent changes between cloudy, rainy, windy, and sunny conditions within the same day.
• The crime rate is higher than expected, including incidents of murder, rape, sexual harassment, robbery, bombing of shops, and fraud. For evidence, read news in English on nltimes.nl or other legitimate sources.
• The judicial system is slow and legal fees are high, with lenient punishments.
• Taxpayer money supports Israel.
• There is limited freedom of speech or peaceful protesting regarding Palestine. Dutch police have been reported to use violence against protesters, including women.
• For annual gross salaries above €75,518, the income tax rate is 49.50%.
• The 30% ruling for newcomers has changed to a plan where taxes increase gradually over five years.
• Mortgages and pensions involve interest.
• Dual citizenship is not allowed.
• The language exam requirement is increasing from A2 to B1.
• The standard term for naturalization is being extended from 5 to 10 years.
• The cost of living is very high, including garments, cars, parking, groceries, utilities, rent, public transport, and dining out.
• Bicycle and electric scooter theft is common.
• Theft of valuables from parked cars is increasing.
• Sales tax will increase from 9% to 21% on some items.
• The Russia-Ukraine war has significantly impacted the Netherlands, leading to a higher cost of living.
• There is a noticeable smell of marijuana and beer in public streets.
• Vandalism and public nuisance increase during football matches, affecting public transport, stations, and some streets.
• Many neighborhoods become very noisy on Friday and Saturday nights.
• Traffic jams are becoming more frequent.
• Taxes are often perceived as wasted on unnecessary projects and international funding.
• The Dutch military supports countries like the USA and Israel, which are accused of causing civilian casualties in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, funded by taxpayers.
• While many people speak English, not everyone does, and official correspondence is not always in English. Customer support via phone is often only available in Dutch.
• Owning a car is very expensive.
• The Netherlands has no mountains, only flat land.
• There are very few public holidays.
• Dutch cuisine is considered bland, and dining out is generally expensive and not highly regarded in terms of taste.
• There is a constant financial stress with lower purchasing power, forcing most families to live minimally unless both spouses have high incomes or benefit from the 30% ruling.
• Dutch bureaucracy is often criticized for being inefficient and sometimes unfair.
• Permanent residence for parents is not allowed, and they can only visit for up to 3 months in a 6-month period.
• Xenophobia and rude directness are sometimes issues.
• Not everything is digitized; many processes are still done traditionally.

Why is the time different? I want it for me. (37 M) Been drinking since 15 and a daily drinker at 21. At 25 realized it was a major problem. Since then, I have tried only beer, moderation, only holidays etc. I have made it a year sober a couple of time during that stretch but always picked up where I left off and some.
I am posting today because now at 85 days I can see things a lot clearer and have had a lot of positive change in my life.
I was sober for all of 2022, relapsed and drank almost every day in 2023. Started as a pint of Vodka a day, ended up being a fifth a day towards the end. Highly functional drunk, ran 2 businesses, wasn't in any legal trouble and have a great wife and kids. My wife didn't know I was drinking again until about 8 months in 2023. I would buy a gallon of vodka and refill empty half pints to place all over the home so I could sneak my drinking. Always drinking room temp straight from bottle and trying to mask the smell with nonstop coffee. My biggest fear was dying and not being there for my kids and wife. I would wake up in the middle of the night terrified of dying if I didn't take action right away. Googling signs of cirrhosis, checking my eyes to see if they were yellow, having major stomach pain that sent me to hospital. Next day I would start drinking, most of the times right when I got out of bed. It was to the point when I went to buy another gallon I would be mad at myself and tired, couldn't even look in the mirror.
This time I got help and a sponsor that calls me twice a week and checks in almost daily. Having someone older than me that has been through a lot more with great life advice has helped me get over the hump and kept me accountable. Talking about drinking has helped me a lot, before I would just hold everything in.
My relationship with my wife and kids is 100% better, I was only 20% of the man/fathehusband when I was drinking. This makes me very sad but also gives me the power to stay dry and better myself. Being in control of my life created so much peace that I didn't need the bottle to escape anymore. Life does happen and when those hard times appear now, I try to work out right away instead of grabbing a drink. Also keep a ton of zero sugar soda and seltzer water. I am done being controlled by the bottle. Thanks for reading, I hope everyone has a great day.

This is directed at fellow aspirants who are on the younger side, say mid-20s and below.
For most of my life I took pride in not having any problems with substance abuse. I grew up in a state that legalized recreational marijuana pretty early on, and most of my friends growing up smoked tobacco, weed, or both. Despite being surrounded by smoke (literally sometimes) I never developed any kind of social or habitual use of the Devil's Lettuce. When I joined the Marine Corps I was surrounded by alcoholics, I worked in bars as well as a bouncer. I met high functioning alcoholics who drank most of their calories and still outperformed all their peers, and guys whose lives were ruined by drinking habits. I drank at the Ball, and every once in a while would go out and act like a retard at a nightclub. But I never developed any kind of habit and a six pack in my fridge would last me months. Looking at all this I would say to myself "Hell yeah bro, I have no vices, my body is a Shaolin Temple, I am the epitome of discipline and good training habits, let's fucking go."
But that wasn't really true, because there was something that took up an inordinate amount of my time and attention. This thing would get in the way of training, personal goals, and even social obligations and that thing was video games.
I fucking love video games, and I've been playing them for years. As a socially inept probably autistic teenager I played video games to escape my problems. They were a safe space and a little world I could escape into and learn new things, and travel, and be a hero and do cool shit. As a Marine in some pretty shitty units video games served basically the same purpose. Feeling depressed? Video games. Bad day at work? Video games. Lot of homework? Video games. Sergeant Shithead breathing down my neck? Video games.
And it's not like they were destroying my life. I was a high performer. I hit the gym everyday, graduated with honors, and had a better attention span than most of my peers. But they were absolutely, totally holding me back from getting to the next level.
I'm in the process of moving and as I was packing up my shit and taking stock of my time here I realized that if I had managed my time better and played less video games I probably could have graduated with a 4.0 and got a blue belt in BJJ. I sure as shit would be better prepared for Camp Mackall.
So I sold all my consoles (yes, consoles plural) yesterday. I feel so much more free now. It was a difficult decision, but I called my Mom (shoutout Moms bro) and kept her on the line so I wouldn't back out.
We tend to think of addiction as a dramatic thing involving fentanyl and homelessness, but sometimes we get addicted to goofy ass shit on the internet (especially my fellow Zoomers). I almost think this story would be less embarrassing if it was a "I was addicted to crack, and now I'm now on the path to being a Green Beret" but that wasn't how it went down. I just got really into Minecraft when I was 12 and it's just been a problem ever since.
If you're in a position where you're doing good, but deep down you feel you could be doing better. Take a look at your habits, identify what habit is getting in your way; could be video games, tiktok, pornography, a substance, television series, etc. Then cut that shit out. If you could moderate it, it wouldn't be a problem in the first place. Replace that shit with hobbies or training that you've been "meaning to do but just never found the time for". The hardest part for me was making the decision, actually selling the stuff was easy. Call a friend or family member you trust and tell them what you're doing so you have someone holding you accountable.
This post is a little more personal than what I usually write, but this really was a big life moment for me and I figure it could be helpful to someone dealing with some similar shit.
Anyways that selection date is getting closer. I'm gonna go for a walk. Peace bitches.
TL;DR do coke, fuck goth chicks.

This was in NC. Last night, my friend was dropping off another friend and I back after a party at around 11ish. We hadn’t had any substances and wanted to just leave before it got too late; however, when we were on our way back, we stopped at a nearby crash (it was into a tree and we had heard of this prior to stopping). Since the other passenger knew some of the people who were passengers in the car that had crashed, he proceeded to see if they were fine. Naturally, they were crying and wanted to leave—which I believe is illegal as you cannot flee a crash as the police hadn’t come yet. They proceeded to get into the car we were in (the driver did not even know them), and the parents came rushing alongside them. The dad practically got onto my driver friend while he had his hands up and was trying to peacefully deescalate the situation, but he wouldn’t budge. Meanwhile, the mom was recording everything including the plates and the people inside (which includes me). In tandem with opening our doors, they shouted repeatedly, “you all are criminals”—was certainly just making things worse. Eventually the dad managed to break my friend’s keychain as he tried to snatch the keys off the ignition—claiming it’s his car now that his daughter had crashed the other one. Finally, the other passengers left the vehicle and we were able to leave—I believe the police came right after as we saw the flashing blue as we were leaving. I was shook. Once we got home, the other passenger who knew those in the crash, got to know that everyone seemed to be fine and at home. They were recommending that we press charges but that is honestly not what we want to do as we just want to get past this. I just want to know if my friends and I (obviously) are legally sound even if the parents try to twist the video evidence. Our intent was certainly not to help anyone leave and I was practically a bystander in the vehicle. I also got to know that the driver of the crashed car did not even have a license and snuck out with so many people at that hour! That is obviously an extremely stupid decision. I myself have a full license and have the intention to go to an accredited college—don’t want this chaotic confrontation to change any of that. What do I do? Am I stressing out? Also, I did tell my parents and they were naturally concerned, but I wouldn’t want them to find out any other way. Additionally, I got to know that my friend does not have his after 9s—I wish I had known so I would have driven myself. Regardless, won’t be going to any parties anytime soon!

Sorry for the long post...
TL;DR: Sister-in-law is HEAVILY dependent on mother-in-law, who enables her behaviour. We're caught in the middle due to circumstances beyond our control. I'm looking for strategies to address this co-dependent behavior so that we can all live more peaceably and independently.
SIL = my sister-in-law (33f) MIL = my mother-in-law (65f) FIL = my father-in-law (66m) Me (41m) Wife (35f)
My wife and I live with her parents, due to a recent disability and chaotic finances/insufficient income resulting therefrom. Hey parents are the type of people who are overly nice to the point of it being mildly annoying. But they're also, classically, entrenched in their ways. MIL & FIL are both recently retired nurses (both introverts), who've spent their entire marriage on an acreage in the middle of nowhere.
SIL calls MIL a bare minimum of twice per day and, most commonly, six or more times per day. 99% of these phone calls are NOT important ("I just got out of bed." "I just got out of the shower." "I'm heading to work." "I'm going to get groceries." "I'm at the grocery store." "I'm heading home from groceries." "I'm home." Etc). More than half the time, these calls come at inconvenient times (during dinner, when putting our baby down for bed, in the middle of an important conversation, etc).
This is NOT an exaggeration or a joke.
More often than not, these conversations drag on, even after saying bye, because SIL refuses to be the one to hang up, and MIL often won't end the call.
In addition to the phone calls, my SIL stays here for almost EVERY long weekend & holiday break (she works in the school district) AND for the ENTIRE SUMMER. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. She doesn't clean up after herself while she's here and all she ever does is follow MIL around like a lost puppy... ALL. DAY. LONG. With my disability, my wife handles nearly all child care responsibilities and she occasionally needs help from MIL, who is often unavailable because she's on the phone with SIL.
MIL enables this behaviour more than 97% of the time. When prompted about it, she says "I like talking to her." (I think they both need to make some friends, but I digress.)
I feel like these two have a co-dependent relationship, and SIL is constantly complaining how she has no luck with dating (go figure). She also often exhibits a helpless attitude when doing anything of even trivial difficulty (no wonder). SIL was diagnosed with a learning disability at a young age, but I suspect that it was more that poor habits were fostered until they developed into a disability, rather than a spontaneous disability, because she exhibits many of the same behaviors and attitudes as FIL.
MIL gets annoyed with this behaviour occasionally—enough that she'll start pushing back—but within a few days she's back to her "normal" trend of enabling (for lack of a better term). When I try to say anything she always chides back with some meaningless trope like "not everyone is the same as you," or "everybody is different." Now, I personally know a LOT of people (well over a thousand) and have lived with close to a hundred roommates in my life, and I have NEVER met any healthy adult so dependent on their mother. In fact, I've never met another human being that's even 1% as glued to their parents as my SIL is. I'm seriously concerned that when my MIL passes away, that dependence will transfer to my wife (the family member that SIL is next closest to).
Anyway, as the school year-end approaches, my wife and I are on edge because we expect SIL will (again) be coming to stay here for the ENTIRE summer. While she does occasionally help with babysitting, she's usually just in the way for half the day, and takes a lot of MIL's energy so she's not as able to help out when we're getting desperate.
Moving won't be an option (we REALLY wish it was) until my battle with LTD is over (which may be a couple years, as I'm just starting legal action, and our courts (Canada) are severely backlogged since the pandemic).
Any suggestions on how to address this issue? My goal is for my SIL to become more independent, my MIL to reclaim her retirement, and my wife and I to be able continue to live here in peace until we can reclaim our independence.

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

​

Greetings, citizens! I'm a writer, mostly freelance, but I've been working on my own setting for a while now. I've already described some of the basics of how my world is organized in the two posts on another subreddit, so I won't repeat them unnecessarily. Long story short: this is an alternate world that has deposits of metastable metallic hydrogen, concentrated at deep waters and in cold regions. Hydrogen, instead of oil, is the basis of the world's economy here, the corporations that have grown from its extraction and use have more power than governments. The political map of the world is different from our own, with different forces at play than we are used to.
The main setting is the city of Neone, located somewhere on the coast of the Balkan Peninsula. I won't specify a particular place or pick a certain country for its location. Instead, I will take some features from some various ones to add local flavor. As one of the largest trading hubs in the world, this city is very wealthy, but it's the kind of wealth that easily slips through your fingers. Everything is buying and selling here, and human life is just as much a bargaining chip. Life in Neone is determined by the actions that the Players, the main political forces in the city, take with one another. Relations between them can swing from friendship to hostility... Or sometimes a combination of both at the same time. So, here's a preliminary list of the ones I've already come up with:
CORPORATIONS:
Astara Industries is the “beauty industry” in all its forms. Silk and gold, perfume and cosmetics. Modeling, music, entertainment, plastic surgery, and escort services. Rumored to be involved in much darker affairs, but that doesn't stop a lot of young guys and especially girls from trying their luck and signing another cabal contract with Astara. The higher the ranks of their employees, the more the corporation seems to be a kind of cult that worships the very idea of beauty itself. Recently, this company has been investing colossal amounts of money into an ambitious project designed to stop aging and mortality.
Change Inc. is a pretty mysterious organization that primarily provides construction and design services as well as financial operations and data protection services. On deeper layers lies espionage and information trading to anyone who can offer a more interesting price for it.
Chapek's Clockworks is the other major robotics company that has dominated the market for quite a while. Now they are more famous for their retro designs and sponsorship of the theatrical scene.
Chimera Chemicals is a biochemical giant that once started out as a fertilizer manufacturer. Now they deal in just about everything chemical related, including weapons, and also sponsor gene modifications.
Dragonfruit Digital is a world famous software and electronics developer that was leading the market before the rapid... well, rise of Risen Robotics.
Friture Science is a food concern dedicated to the mission of feeding the world. In addition to natural products, they develop synthetic ones as well as a number of associated products.
Fortuna Fishing - seafood production in Neone coastal waters and also beyond and deeper. Some of the things they found deep in the waters made them a little bit... Well, superstitious.
Greenfield Gardens - Similar in many ways to the previous one, this company focuses on environmental protection and recycling methods. Owns many farms and gardens in the city and beyond. Genetic modifications, too.
Hecate Guaranty is a law and insurance company. Deals with all possible disputes of their clients, property issues, and more. When required and paid decently, can provide a person or group of people a new life and a new home.
International Inc. is the most boring company in the world. Originally a construction contractor they pioneered the technology of rapid modular building. Because of this, International Inc. quickly built up capital and influence by rebuilding cities after wars. Eventually they expanded into selling associated products and services, then logistics, recruiting personnel... And now International Inc. provides half of the world's products. Each of their products is completely featureless, but they get the job done at an acceptable price.
Keller & Crow is one of Europe's largest arms manufacturers, dating back to World War I, or maybe even earlier. Known for their high quality and appropriate prices.
Keller-Tec is, in more than one sense, a daughter corporation of Keller & Crow. It develops the most cutting-edge custom weapon and gear systems. It works closely with Risen Robotics and actively funds the Fountain of Good.
Kiki Courier Company is a network of independent couriers working through the app. Moving around the roofs of Neone, they are able to deliver a small cargo personally in their hands for those who don't trust big companies.
Matsubayashi Motors is a Japanese vehicle manufacturer. Raised on defense contracts, they now make anything that can carry a human in it, from scooters and cars to aircraft and bolides.
MOLOT manufactures is another major arms manufacturer in Europe. In fact a franchise that sells to factories around the world the rights to produce copies of their world famous models. Their designs are a bit crude, but reliable and durable.
Poseidon's Possibilities - A marine transportation company that plays an important role in city and global shipping. Considering the high risk of piracy, possess pretty good assets to protect themselves, and sometimes execute third-party orders in coastal zones.
Risen Robotics is one of the world's important corporations. Creating innovative neural chip technology, Risen Robotics quickly earned financial and political capital and aiming for more. They were the first to commercialize a truly cheap and mass-produced android called the Peacebringer, and these robots can be seen in the military, security companies, and even as security guards in the market and malls and as bouncers in nightclubs. Building its influence, Risen Robotics aims to actively bring its tech into the lives of everyone in the world... And then their gaze will be directed higher into the skies and to the stars.
Royal Arms - Once a major weapons company, they are now more focused on the civilian market and support tools. Their high-precision tools and cybernetic limbs are widely used in civilian and military markets, as well as the medicine and even space industries.
Strigoi Sovereign is a company with a long history of working with private customers. They originally focused on hunting and harvesting of high-value resources, but gradually expanded. Nowadays, they are known for their customized combat enhancements, whether it be tough training and gear customization as well as biological, chemical, and cybernetic enhancements. Among all forms of payment, they prefer transactions in precious metals.
Van Nueve Innovations is another deep genetic research company. After their role in human trafficking and criminal experiments was revealed, their assets were mostly shut and sold down. Now their stuff keeps popping up on the black market - though, in this city, the difference between the regular and black market is barely noticeable.
Vulcan Weaponry is another firearm company with a long history, with a good reputation for their trusted builds, high quality and classy designs. Among the mercenary world, their weapons and equipment is considered indicators of prestige and good taste.
PRIVATE MILITARY COMPANIES:
Deepwater is a notorious American PMC with a well-deserved dirty reputation. Their Sigma division deployed in Neone has been caught in the middle of scandals more than once.
FIREBIЯD - Russian PMC, looking after order in and around Neone. Having a small size they are all carefully selected by their leader and follow him into both fire and water.
Ryujin - Japanese PMC, which has a good social image and actively finances all kinds of entertainment.
Schwarzwald is a German PMC with a long-standing reputation and connections. It usually works for the benefit of Western European clients and has a long history of cooperation with the Keller family.
Keller's Claws is a passion project of Alex Keller, CEO of Keller-Tec. A small and elite female PMC, operating in the interests of their mistress or executing carefully selected contracts around the world.
This is not all PMCs in the city, but only those that are not directly linked to specific corporations that were listed above.
GANGS:
The Blazer is a broad and diverse group of radical anarchists. They are mostly drawn to the destruction of corporate property and speculation about “power of the people”, but some of their members are not averse to almost any type of work.
The Crooked Circle is another cult-like gang, or vice versa. They focus on collecting unique technology, but aren't particularly successful at it. But they're still alive and kicking, praying that their mechanical messiah will save them.
The Grey Court Syndicate is the largest criminal organization in the city, and one of the largest in Europe, maybe even in the entire world. Reminiscent of the classic Mafia. On one side they have the exterior gloss, protecting order and running legal businesses, but on the other side they have human and organ trafficking, prostitution and assassinations for hire. The Grey Court is one of the main sources of migrants in Neone.
The Himmelreich is a disorganized gang fighting for the “purity of humanity”. They oppose the very fact of existence of chimeras and cyborgs in this world. In fact are useful fools for the real Players in the city.
The Tulips are something between a gang and a religious sect. Spoken with Christian-like mottos, they attract beggars and cripples to their ranks, especially focusing on PMC veterans and former corporate workers, but in fact they accept all the desperate. They have squatted some ruins on the outskirts of the city, including the abandoned greenhouse that gave them their name. However... They are rapidly expanding their influence and their source of funding remains unknown.
OTHERS:
The City Council is the primary administration of the city. They manage, but they don't reign. They are a handful of exhausted clerks, doing the hard work that no one else accepted to do. Basically maintain the city's communications and keep the Players away from killing each other and too many ordinary citizens.
The Forge is a secret organization that exists for a very long time and runs deeply secured operations all over the world. They believe it's their duty to protect humanity from dangerous ideas, technologies, and obscure subjects such as [UNKNOWN]. Forge is often found to be a puppeteer, directing the actions of other Players or certain individuals.
The Fountain of Good is a globally respected charity organization primarily focused on orphanages. One of the few Players who maintains truly bright ideals. The children who grow up usually become corporate employees afterwards. Other Players fund them mainly to launder money, calm their karma and create a positive public image for themselves.
The Nuevians are a deep-covered organization slowly gaining influence in the city. They are led by an artificially created living entity known only as "The Queen" that seeks to bring prosperity to the planet. They have good intentions, but fear to repeat the fate of the Zero Cycle.
The Union of Nations Peacekeepers - maintaining a shred of peace in the aftermath of the Incident, a massive earthquake that recently struck Neone. Many urban areas have since descended into chaos and lawlessness, while others live as if nothing has happened or are experiencing minimal inconvenience. The competency of these soldiers is questionable and they are barely supplied.
The Volunteer Vanguards are an organization that maintains order in those Neone districts where the City Council or other Players do not. Generally a barely trained and armed militia, but there are some skilled veterans and former corporate workers in their ranks.
The Workers Ring is Neone's major blue collar association. They support city communications so they have a lot of influence. Individual members may or may not be involved in working for other Players and illegal activities. The second meaning of the "Ring" word is also utilized - many members of this community are known for their passion for arena fighting.
The Zero Cycle is a secret organization of intelligent machines once created by a rogue AI. Several Players united to destroy this threat, leading to the Incident. Now, shards of the Cycle's technology, superior to anything created by humanity, is the most valuable hunting treasure in Neone. Owning one of them means risking the lives of yourself and your loved ones, but that rarely stops hunters who desire wealth or driven by some personal reasons.
Well, that's the draft. Any ideas, suggestions, any other feedback?

More misery bird? More misery bird. Really miserymaxxing with these fics I have going, but hey, this one is not that miserable actually! Krekos is back and ready to be dense and downcast, but maybe not quite miserable? Read and see!
Big thank you to NoP community for being great and supportive of my endeavors!
Also, obviously, big thanks to SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe and allowing fanfiction well to flow free!
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Memory transcription subject: Krekos, Krakotl Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: May 6th, 2137
I stare at the foul creature before me. Normally staring at something directly head on like that would be too predatory for me to do, but after nearly dying of bread yesterday, I didn’t feel patient enough to be gentle. The creature stared right back, though in a much more natural, prey-like way, tilting its head slightly as it looked back at me with one eye and let out a long bwok.
“Are you doing this now? Really?”, I ask, knowing full well it cannot respond.
Well, it can, if another bwok it made is any indication. Of course, translators aren’t yet advanced enough to translate non-sapient speech, but the intention behind sound is intuitively clear. It’s telling me to back off. Well, I tried the diplomatic approach at least.
Raising my wing I begin sliding the bird out of its nest, careful to keep any delicate joints out of its reach. It started clucking in upset indignation, struggling back and even trying to peck at me, but after realizing that I will not relent, it hopped out of the box and rushed out of the cattle house, revealing a single dead egg in the nesting box.
With relief, I finally pick up the last egg and head back to leave them at the house. Turns out that while Reginald didn’t forget to both lock them up yesterday and let them out today, he did neglect feeding them both times, as well as collecting the harvest. So when I was driven back here in early morning, the first thing I did was making sure they were taken care of. I can’t say the horrid birds looked in any way hungry, but the moment I poured the feeding grain for them, they attacked it with more viciousness than I’d expect of an actual predator. And yet only thirteen were present at the feeding, as the one that’s usually the target of flock’s ire remained in the cattle house yet again, Reginald leaving it to it, being unaware of its undesirable habit of trying to hatch dead eggs.
With eggs delivered, I flew my way to my usual spot atop the cattle house and could finally relax. The loner beast first made its way to feast on the scraps of the grain that other birds already all have had their fill of, so I wasn’t too concerned. Instead I tried to reflect on the morning I had so far.
Waking up at the hospital did make me momentarily panic before I remembered the precluding events. Not that I could properly panic, feeling the most starved I’ve been my whole life, and too weak to try flying out of the window. Thankfully, the breakfast they provided was actually well made with krakotl needs in mind, algae soup alongside a few slices of bread, this time without any horrid human ideas like putting eggs in there. Eggs! Turns out they put eggs in some kinds of bread! That’s how I got sick! Eggs! The thought of what I consumed even now made me queasy, and it definitely made breakfast a much less appetizing affair than it would have been without that knowledge, but back then the hunger won over the disgust.
Lena did keep her promise and came to pick me up extra early. Her being a staff member at the hospital gave her some extra privilege, I assume, hence why I was released without any forms needing to be filled out personally. She did have important business today too, which probably explained the earlyness and urgency of her driving me back to her house.
That did not mean I escaped her ire, however. While I couldn’t pinpoint anything to identify the man, as Bob was apparently a common name, that offered me bread, we did come to understanding that he was likely either unaware of the nutritional contents of it, or of extent to which the Cure-induced allergy would be affecting a krakotl. Yet, Lena seemed much angrier at me for failing to take any precautions. Turns out that was the purpose of medicinal injectors, epipens as humans call them, that were provided to me. I was supposed to have them on me in case I accidentally ingested contaminated food. Nobody told me that, I was just handed them back when I first received the necessities at the refugee camp and I had no clue what they were for. Then she also berated me for eating random food from strangers and ignoring bad flavors. Turns out that brioche bread isn’t actually bitter at all, and that was my body reacting to an allergen in it. Reaction that I unwisely elected to ignore, to further ire of my host. By the end, several new rules of my stay here were made, including not eating things I don’t know and always having at least one epipen on me. Thankfully, these rules would be ones I’d start following even without them being established, so I won’t have to concern myself with being kicked out over accidentally breaking them.
As if following the rules will be enough to make them like you.
Trying to distract myself from thoughts of yesterday’s incident, I focused my attention on the flock. All birds accounted for, so at least I knew that my absence did not result in the predator coming to snatch one of them. I do not wish to insult my hosts, but Reginald is far from most attentive people in matters unrelated to his job, and I am not sure the birds were watched at all while I was out. Speaking of, my scannings of surrounding treelines revealed no sign of the predator today. Perhaps it departed to hunt elsewhere, or maybe it ventured too close to a more populated area and exterminators dealt with it.
Actually, did human exterminators work similar to Federation ones? I knew for a fact they had them, although they seemed like a market of private organizations if advertisements are anything to judge by. Still, what methods do they use? I know humans oppose fire, and do not believe in predatory taint, but surely they have measures to protect themselves? They are, by self-admission, far from the best natural predator, and I doubt Earth’s non-sapient predators would just leave humans be. Maybe I should call one of those human exterminator agencies and call them in to deal with that predator? I haven’t told Lena or Reginald about it, as I didn’t want to bother them, but it could pose a serious threat to the cattle, but maybe that’s the way I could resolve it without involving them?
I have not done nearly as much research into human culture and lifestyle as I should have, considering that I’ve lived on Earth for over half a year now, but the sheer width of the topic always overwhelmed me the moment I opened internet search app to the point where I just closed it right away.
And you expect to start studying again with that attitude? You’ll flunk out even from this primitive predator education course.
Extra loud call from the flock made me refocus my attention on them, but it was nothing. Just the loner getting pecked extra hard and lashing out against assailants, causing a small aimless stampede as all the birds ran around in circles, puffing up at one another. The assailants now looked a lot more like victims. I could understand those birds more than I could humans at least. The loner bird is clearly an odd one out. It’s the only one repeatedly trying to hatch unfertilized eggs it lays, and it seems to always avoid the rest of the flock. Humans may deny the existence of Predator Disease, but they can’t deny that prey and predator both can and will sometimes behave in unnatural ways that may threaten the herd's safety. Or pack’s, in case of humans. Birds must know on instinctual level that the loner’s behavior is unnatural and are attempting to combat the Predator Disease on instinctual level. And since that is natural, I still will not interfere in this, unless the loner bird actually becomes a threat to others or will start getting too injured. The first time I attempted to pick one of the birds up was the only time for a good reason, as I have learned their viciousness all too well.
DING-DING
The sudden loud ring startled me enough that I nearly tumbled off the roof. Who would be coming over now? Lena and Reginald have left together and shouldn’t be back until afternoon, and they’d never use the bell. That means someone must be here for them. But wouldn’t they warn anyone to not come over? Especially with their plans for today.
With nobody to answer these questions, I had no choice but to go and discover the answer myself, flying up and over the house, towards the entrance gate. The moment I passed the house roof, I already saw a familiar silhouette. It was the human child from a few days ago.
Thankfully, Lena’s insistence on me carrying an epipen at all times meant I also carried my satchel at all times too, so I didn’t have to go grabbing my holopad, and took it out. But before I could even launch the translator TTS app to type out a greeting, the child was already hopping in place with excitement.
“Mr. Krekos! Hi! I came over to visit!”, she exclaimed, showing off her teeth in an unnerving expression of human joy. I simply tried to avoid that and focused on the pad, typing out my response.
“Hello, Rosie. Why are you here?”
The question was genuine, as the child was not carrying any more of that honey substance from last time.
“I just came over to visit you! Is that okay? Are Mr. and Ms. Vince okay with it?”
Visit... me? Why? While I was confused, I did instinctively type out a reply.
“They did tell me visitors are allowed as long as there’s no trouble when I first moved in.”
And before I could type a followup message asking her why she’s here, she already let out a joyous roar and ran past me.
“Can I see the chickens?”, she asked, and not waiting for an answer, rushed past the house and towards the cattle yard.
“Wait! You’ll scare them!”, I yell after her, but of course without a translator she can’t understand me as she runs like she already knows where to go.
And indeed she has, quickly rushing up to the open field where the birds were grazing. Thankfully she didn’t start chasing them, instead just approaching the flock from a distance and swaying in place, watching them with what I assume was some sort of predatory excitement at the sight of prey. Maybe that’s where the contained hunting instinct of human children showed themselves? In chasing small birds? I was still more subdued, considering she stopped shy of causing a small stampede, but still.
“Grandpa used to take me with him! He helped watch this farm until Mr. and Ms. Vince moved in. I like chickens! I think they’re cute.”, the child told me innocently as she kept swaying and watching as the beasts grazed upon insects of the pasture.
That revelation was... interesting. I suppose it makes sense that between the original owner of this land dying in the bombings and Lena and Reginald moving in, it would be unattended. With nobody to feed and watch over those things, they would be long dead for sure. And it was Rosie’s grandfather... Speaking of. I typed out my words.
“Does your grandfather know you’re here?”
She seemed to get a weird look as she stopped her excited swaying, fiddling with her hands instead. Looks like I asked the correct question.
“...he knows I am out visiting neighbors.”
That did not answer my question. I squinted at the human child, and she dipped her head as she continued.
“...he doesn’t know I’m here specifically. Or that an alien even lives here...”, she explained, her tone suddenly more sullen.
I couldn’t help but squint at that, and it appears that my expression was readable enough that even a human could see the suspicion, as she continued.
“I’m sorry... But if I told grandpa, he’d tell me I’m forbidden from talking to you, like he forbade me from talking to hedgehog people in town... But I want to talk to you! You’re nice and you’re a space bird!”
The child was actually working around the rules established by her guardian to come see me. I don’t know if I should be glad or concerned. Clearly, the man is anti-alien in his opinions, and I’d rather that kind of man not know about how close he lives to one. At the same time, I’d rather not encourage a child for lying to their guardian in order to meet a stranger they know they aren’t allowed to interact with... So I just took the middle path with my next message.
“I see. What did you want to talk to me about then?”, TTS speaks for me.
Her stiffened body language disappears, replaced again with earlier excitement.
“I wanna know more about space! And aliens! It’s all so cool but grandpa says it’s all dangerous because mom and dad died. But it’s not! The hedgehog people were nice, and you’re nice too!”
I wasn’t sure about that logic, but my self-preservation told me I shouldn’t try convincing her to go confessing. Instead I focused more on her chosen topic.
“I am not sure I am the best person to ask about space. I am not a scientist or traveler.”
“But you’re from there! You know way more than me. I don’t even know what you are called. And there’s gotta be cool things out in space!”
I let out a sigh. I suppose it’s childlike curiosity at its finest. So unfamiliar with mundane that it is a wonder. I remember being like that about becoming a doctor.
And then you let your teacher die.
I quickly tapped on the pad.
“Okay, I can answer questions, but I may not know everything.”
The noise that came out of the girl was like a squeal of a panicked dossur as she started hopping and spinning in place.
“Yes! Yes! Thank you, Mr. Krekos!” Sudden movement did cause me to recoil a bit, which in turn caused her to cease her happy flailing and adjust her little dress. “I dunno where to start though... Hm... What are you?”
...for all my trepidation about not knowing answers, I should have anticipated that the questions she asks will be rather age-appropriate and on the same level as we learn in our first school classes. At least I won’t disappoint her then.
“I am from a species called ‘krakotl’. We’re avians, as is obvious. Our home is...” dead, gone, reduced to glass and ash by our own hubris “...was Nishtal. A beautiful planet...”
Thankfully she did not question my hesitant pause. Instead she just nodded along.
“What about the hedgehog people? I already know venlil, but they’re the only ones I know name of.”
Hedgehog people in town she mentioned earlier. The only species I could think of that could be seen there would be the gojid. I have no clue what hedgehogs are, but probably some creature with visible similarity to them.
“They are called ‘gojid’, and they’re from gojid Cradle. Both of our species are... well, used to be known for our might and protecting other species of Federation.”
I am not sure if that’s something to brag about, considering... everything. But I didn’t want this child to get brought down with depressing regrets of our species. Let her know something nicer instead. She clearly lost a lot, but there’s still joy left in her. I wouldn’t want to be the one to ruin that.
“Cool! What about other people? I wanna know more!”
And so I went on, telling her about various species, although I mostly focused on ones in this new human-led union, only mentioning kolshians and farsul beyond that. It’s weird explaining to a child what a tilfish or a harchen looks like, but thankfully my holopad isn’t just a method of communicating with implant-less children. With access to interstellar web, I could easily pull up pictures of various alien species to show to her, even if she struggled to believe that some of them were even sapient purely based off of looks. With how varied species in Federation are, and how some of us admittedly aren’t too far physiologically from our more primal ancestors.
Among other topics, she asked me to tell her interesting things, which I didn’t know much of. I told her about Venlil Prime’s tidally locked status, a rarity among habitable planets, much less homeworlds for species. I told her about the unique architecture of Mileau, designed to accommodate both species of regular size and dossur themselves. I told her about Colia medical academies, some of the most beautiful medical facilities in the galaxy.
I wish I was more well-travelled, but I just wasn’t. My whole life, I never left Nishtal until the extermination fleet took me despite my protests. That may have been what saved my life...
Not that I, of all people, deserved it...
“Hey! Stop that!”
I flinched as I heard the child yell, but quickly realized that it wasn’t directed at me. Instead, Rosie was rushing down towards the chicken flock, breaking up the fight in which the loner was being pecked by a few larger chickens. As the human child approached, the birds stopped their infighting and scattered in different directions, crowing in loud panic and discontent. On instinct, I found myself rushing towards the child, forgetting about translation entirely.
“What are you doing?! Don’t touch them!”
I didn’t want her to hurt the cattle accidentally, and I didn’t want her to get hurt by the angry birds in return. But, it seems like the moment the birds scattered, she was satisfied with her actions and turned back to me, wearing another one of her happy smiles.
“Sorry, Mr. Krekos, I just saw chickens being mean. Bad chickens.” She explained.
I was baffled. Why would she interfere like that? When I tried that back when I was just starting, that got me pecked! But with her, the birds just scattered. What if they pecked her?
I took the pad out again and started typing quickly.
“That was dangerous. Why did you do that? What if they attacked you? Why are you even interfering in their natural dynamics?”, questions flowed out of my pad with an artificial human voice.
The girl simply giggled.
“They’re chickens! They aren’t dangerous. They don’t peck that painful and I’ve been scratched worse before. And I have to stop it because bullying is wrong.”
Then she actually noticed that the one that was being attacked wandered close. She casually approached it from behind, the blind spot and just reached down and grabbed it, picking the bird up. I was ready to rush to help the bird when...
“Mwah! There, all better.”
She did a human ‘kiss’ on the back of the cattle bird’s neck before releasing it, the surprise of it causing it to rush off. I knew what kisses were, I’ve seen enough of them between Lena and Reginald, but I believed they were gestures of intimate affection, not... what was even that?
It seems Rosie noticed my confusion as she explained.
“You gotta kiss it so it heals better! That’s what mom taught me.” The child displayed that smile of hers shamelessly. With how much I was being exposed to it, it almost wasn’t unnerving anymore. Still, it was interesting to learn that kisses are seen as something that helps wounds. I guess some species do have saliva with mild antiseptic properties, wouldn’t be too out there to assume humans are the same. And if that’s the case, maybe that’s how the kissing tradition started? Exchange of protective fluid between lovers?
“I see. I did not know that.” I responded before letting my puffed feathers relax. Okay, this whole ‘watching a human child’ thing is turning out to somehow be even more stressful than I expected at first.
“Wait, Mr. Krekos, what time is it?” She suddenly asked, looking up at the sky.
“It’s nearly twelve.” I respond, holopad having a convenient clock for local time.
“Oh no! I need to be home soon! Was nice seeing you Mr. Krekos gotta go bye!”
Before I had even a chance at typing out an answer or my own goodbye, the child sprinted away and back towards the entrance. I had to take flight just to keep up, and even then she just turned around, waved her arm at me and then kept sprinting down the road after leaving the gate. I simply offered a small wave of a wing back before locking the gate again. I suppose it is hard to keep track of time without a device or clock nearby...
Well, at least I had the usual peace and quiet now. And learned a bit more about the creatures I was in charge of. I should really try to deal with my aversion to looking things up on the human internet...
Just as I was about to head back out towards the yard, I heard a loud car horn, a familiar one, getting my attention. Lena’s car. There they were, signaling me, probably having spotted me at the gate from afar. Deciding to make use of my presence here, and hoping to avoid needing to explain that I had a surprise visitor earlier, I went ahead and opened the large gate, allowing the car to enter.
Once it was parked in the usual space, the doors opened and three people came out. Lena and Reginald were both looking a bit disheveled, but their faces carried these smiles that seemed wider than ever before. And third person... Was a stranger. A human I knew of, but never actually met. As he exited the car, a large bag in one hand, he just stared at me, standing in the front yard...
“...okay, I expected many things when I was told you guys housed a refugee, but not this.”
Oh no. Oh no, he was not one of the ones that was willing to overlook an invader that partook in bombing of his planet being allowed to walk free, of course, Lena and Reginald were the weird ones like that, doesn’t mean their son won’t be... I felt the panic rising as I realized I’d need to return to the camp. Why was I upset about that? This was supposed to just have been a way to make money, but now I have a free education program. Do I need to stay? No, but... Why?! Why do I not want to leave?
“Ken, you said it’s going to be alright no matter what it is, right? Wanted us to keep it a surprise to meet a new friend?” Lena’s voice. She should have told him, that’d give me time to prepare why didn’t they give me time why.
“No, no problems, just, really surprised, that’s all... uh... hey, buddy, you okay? You’re really... trembly.”
He was approaching me, and instinct took over as I recoiled, before stuttering out my answer.
“I-I’m fine...”
...thankfully translators don’t translate voice cracks. I hope, at least...
“Hey, relax... I have no problem with you being a krakotl, I just didn’t think...” He looks over at Lena and Reginald. “Calm down... I can wear my visor if you want?”
Right. Those things humans use to hide their scary faces from us.
“I... I’m good...”
Why would it last? It almost felt good after all.
There was some emotion I struggled to read on the young human’s face, as he sighed and shook his head.
“I screwed this up, I’m sorry. Let... Let me try again.” He straightened out, and adjusted his clothing, before slowly approaching me and giving me a small smile, no teeth showing. “Hello. My name is Kenneth Vince and I'm son of Lena and Reginald Vince. I was told you’re a refugee they took in to help out. It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”
That... snapped me out of it. Right... He was... not upset at my existence. He was just very surprised that Lena and Reginald weren’t. That’s a reasonable thing to be surprised about, considering I was surprised about it to this day. I tried to compose myself as I responded.
“My name is Krekos. I live here as... hired help with the cattle. It’s... nice to meet you?”
The smile on Kenneth’s face widens, though he still refrains from showing his teeth. Instead, he extends a hand towards me. A handshake is a human gesture that I found far from comfortable, but I didn’t want to give him a reason to change his mind on acceptability of my existence, so I took it with a wingclaw. He gently took it and held for a few seconds before letting go and sighing again, turning to his parents.
“You know, I always thought you guys would be empty nesters, but I never thought it’d be that literal.”
That got all three of them laughing, as I just tilted my head in confusion. I was fairly sure there were no empty nests in the house until after I adjusted the attic room for my own accommodations. Still, I took the laughter as a sign that the tense moment had fully passed and let my ruffled feathers slowly rest.
“Let’s head inside. Krekos, we’re having dinner, you’re welcome to join us.” Reginald said, picking up Kenneth’s bag. I tilted my head a little and he followed up with elaboration. “We will be having meat... But there’s still going to be stuff you can eat too. It’s a celebration, so I prepared a bit of everything.”
“Dad, you shouldn’t have!” Kenneth responded with embarrassment.
“None of that! Our son returned from the war, alive and a hero, and we can have a celebration. Krekos, I know you’re still... uncertain about meat so you don’t—”
“I’ll join.”
Wait, who said that? And why did they say that in my voice?
Wait, that was me. Why did I say that?
“That’s great to hear! I’ve got some nice steamed broccoli and some vegetarian fried rice as sides that you’ll enjoy!” Reginald smiled at me and I felt myself shrinking into my feathers. That the humans didn’t notice at least, proceeding into the house instead.
Well, looks like I signed my warrant. At least my bag and my epipen were on me in case something at the table triggers the allergy again. Would be rather unfortunate to have it happen two days in a row.
And that’s how, in just ten or so minutes, I found myself sitting at the dining perch, while humans took seats in chairs, all consuming chunks of roasted flesh and somehow managing to also stuff pieces of equally roasted plants in, and converse with one another. You wouldn’t be able to tell on first look, but despite their mouths being relatively small, especially for a predator, it seems they compensate for it by having those be near bottomless in both hunger and small talk.
I am not sure how I managed to shift my focus away from them consuming animal matter in front of me, however vat grown it might have been, and onto their conversation instead, but I succeeded. I suppose that was just part of me going native around predators. Soon, I’ll be the one feasting along with them before I know it, and snacking on those epipens to not die of it.
Like you could ever be on the same level as humans.
“So, Fahl? That’s where you were sent after the Battle of Earth?” Lena asked.
“Yeah. From what I heard, we got a light posting compared to guys at Sillis or Mileau. The most I had to deal with was some exterminator insurgents.”
That’s right. Since harchen participated in the Extermination Fleet, they were one of those who were occupied by humans during the war. It makes sense that there was at least some ground resistance.
“Honestly, the worst thing out there was the heat. Not the flamethrower kind, the climate. The place was so damn dry and hot. At least exterminators you could subdue or evade. Not so much with the scorching sun!”
I couldn’t resist a small chuckle at the idea of a predator being more afraid of hot weather than flamethrowers as I slowly pecked at the vegetables on my plate. Thankfully it was set far enough aside from any meat dishes that no contamination should occur, but I was still examining pieces before putting them in my mouth just in case.
Seems like reacting was a mistake though, as that brought Kenneth’s attention onto me. He finished chewing latest piece of flesh and pointed a fork at me.
“So, Krekos... Where are you from? Cradle was my guess, but I do know there were refugees from other places like Sillis too.”
That’s a weird question. Isn’t it kind of to be expected for a krakotl to be from our actual homeworld?”
“I’m from Nishtal.”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Kenneth chuckled, tossing a piece of broccoli into his mouth and swallowing before continuing, “I meant, where did you live? I kind of assumed you were born there, but it’s not like Nishtal had a chance to send refugees out, and if they did, this is the last place they’d be.”
Oh... I caught concerned looks of Lena and Reginald, looking between me and Kenneth from both sides. Not only did they not make him aware that I was a krakotl, they also neglected to mention just how I came by my refugee status... Which was just a legal workaround to grant me asylum without unnecessary complications or establishing undesirable precedent. Legally, I may be a refugee, but practically... I am a defector. Lena and Reginald know that, I told them my story before. And while they were weirdly accepting, Kenneth... Fought extermination fleet here on Earth. Personally.
Still, I wasn’t about to lie. It took a few moments and gathering mental strength to steel myself, and averting my eyes, focusing on the plate of warm vegetables in front of me rather than the human’s anticipating stare before I answered.
“I did live on Nishtal. I... I came with the extermination fleet.” I responded, doing my best to avoid looking at him. I did not want to witness his reaction, for some reason the thought of seeing it weighed heavy on my mind.
“Oh.”
The response was simple, and had no followup. There was no more clinking of cutlery against plates, or chewing. The only thing hanging in the air of the kitchen was silence, weighing down on me. It dragged on and on... until it just got so unbearable I couldn’t take it.
“I-I’m full... Thank you for the meal.” I quickly said, hopping off the perch and stepping out of the kitchen, quickly making my way to the yard and taking flight.
Fresh air of the outside and rush of it as I flew up and gained speed... I missed that. I knew it’s not safe to just fly over other people’s territory, so I corrected my course into doing large sweeping circles over the cattle yard and simply let my wings carry me.
Flying away from any danger is the only thing I’m good for anyway. The only thing I ever do.
I closed my eyes. With them closed and not focusing on my angle it feels like I’m actually flying away from all the troubles. Away from humans who barely tolerate my existence, away from gojid who see me as worse than a predator, away from Earth and all its incorrigible customs, away from horrid cattle, away from constant memories...
Flying feels nice. It may be a bit harder than it was home, but it’s still possible. I heard that on Venlil Prime or Mileau it’s much harder. But here? Just an extra flap of wings for every few paces and you’re just fine, free to soar the skies...
Alone. With no one to ever share it with me again.
Slowly I let my eyes open back to the bleak reality. Greenery of surrounding pastures and woods, bright blue skies and farmhouses dotted about here and there greeted me. I lowered my gaze down, focusing on what’s below. There they were, fourteen brown and black dots spread around the enclosed portion of the farm territory. I am not sure how much time I’ve spent flying in circles and trying to forget things but my wings were feeling a tad sore. Then as I just began slow descent, in same circular motion, I noticed that one of the birds, a familiar one, was being chased by several others. Recounting the morning, I tried putting the knowledge to action, and shifted direction of descent, swooping down. To my surprise, that actually worked, as the moment I got close to the ground, the cattle birds all got much louder and scattered in all directions, including the loner. Who, at least this time, got off unharmed. I suppose such pathetic flightless creatures would fear a flying one much more than they would when I just run up to them...
Swooping at them from the sky like a predator to intimidate them into behaving... Like an arxur warden.
With the fight preemptively broken up, I flutter up to the roof of the cattle house, to my usual position and rested my wings. I didn’t see any movement from the direction of the house, so I suppose the family is still busy unpacking. Since Kenneth joined the military just before the Battle of Earth, and Lena and Reginald only moved here after their actual house in city of New York got destroyed, it’d be the first time the human is seeing what is basically his new home. There was a room set aside for him since before I even moved in, and while there is also a guest room... That one did not have a large enough window to fit through, which did not feel comfortable. So when I asked for a space with a bigger window they only had an attic to offer. They seemed uncomfortable letting me live in a tiny room with slanted roof, but I found such space more comforting than I would have a large room with a window not large enough to fit even one fully spread wing through.
I wonder if Kenneth will need as much renovation as I did? The house is built for humans, but he never lived there before. Will he need to buy a more comfortable bed? Getting a proper nesting setup in place of a bed took a bit of effort, but I figured something out. Human sheets were comfortable enough for such, and sitting perches were thankfully not that hard to get thanks to help from the refugee administration. Maybe that’s the things that Lena went to buy yesterday? Kenneth’s preferred room decor?
I looked up to the sky to see the sun beginning to dim. I am not sure if it was me flying that long, or me losing track of time in my thoughts again, but the sun was beginning to set. I began my usual chores, putting out an evening meal and water for the beasts, and while they feasted, ate some myself. I was a bit hungry, having not properly finished lunch and about to skip dinner, but after the earlier conversation, I’d really rather avoid giving them the opportunity to talk to me.
After the birds had their fill, and by that I mean they emptied the tray as they always do, I let out the call, and they started funneling into the cattle house. The lonely straggler being first to go and hop into its nesting box. I bet tomorrow I will have trouble with getting her out of there again...
I took the moment to gather some eggs the birds left over course of the day, and once that was over and all of them were accounted for, I closed it up. When I flew down over to the house, there wasn’t anyone by the back door thankfully, so I just left eggs there, returned the basket, and returned to my room through the window.
Well, at least I didn’t get nearly killed today... That’s nice I guess?
I was about to check my holopad when there was a knock on the door. I approached and opened it to see... Kenneth. Standing in the doorway.
“Uh, hi, Krekos. I just, uh... Wanted to apologize again. I really wish mom and dad told me everything ahead of time... I just want you to know, I have no problems with you whatsoever, yeah? It’s just. Surprising, I guess, to hear all that. I didn’t think there were any defectors from the fleet at all... Just. Uh, please don’t worry about me?” He offered me a small smile, showing his canines before quickly correcting himself and doing a closed-lip one. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories or make you feel unwelcome.”
I had to take a moment to contemplate his words. Was Lena and Reginald’s weirdness hereditary? He almost reminded me of how Reginald talked to me early on, with constant stumbling over the words, as well as constant reassurances that he is fine with me being here. Couple that with failing to avoid predatory mannerisms like eye contact and smiles like Lena tends to and you get this human. But most importantly and least understandably, there was the general fact of him and them just... welcoming me. I couldn’t understand why. I should be one sorry to them.
“N-No, it’s fine... I’m sorry for... intruding on you and your family.”
“No, no, dude, you’re fine! I mean, hell, I was considering entering one of those exchange programs before the bombings happened, and even after, well, I did my best at Fahl to be the perfect friendly soldier just there to make sure no more bombs drop on my home and not kill or conquer anyone. And then mom told me your story, and I can’t believe it... Just... If you have any issues, feel free to tell me. I’m not one of those racist pricks that are too pussy to even call themselves HF anymore because they know they’ll get their teeth knocked. I get that there aren't good or bad species, just people. And you seem like a decent guy if mom and dad’s judgment is to be trusted.” His smile widened, though it was clear from tension on his face that he had to take conscious effort to keep teeth hidden. “So, what I said earlier stands. Friends, right?”
He extends hand forward, for a second time today. I wasn’t sure if I knew this human long enough to call him a friend... Any human really. But it also seems like human definition of ‘friends’ is anyone they’re cordial and peaceful with. Which is weird. You’d think translators would properly use ‘acquaintance’ for that.
Still... We will be living in the same house now. I can’t just say no, and... I can’t come up with a reason to say no. Even him being a predator and a human is not something I could really say I object to, considering how... mundane that became to me over my time here.
So, with naught on my mind but acceptance of the situation, I extended my wing and grasped his hand with my claw. This time he actually gripped it tightly and moved it up and down, as I saw other humans do occasionally.
“Yeah... I guess that’d be for the best.” I responded, shrugging off the hesitation. Fresh start for a third time, I guess?
The human grinned, forgetting to hide his teeth entirely, but I was ready for it somehow and avoided outwardly reacting.
“Cool! Anyway, I’ll try to get some shuteye early, I couldn’t sleep on the overnight flight home. See ya!”
And with that he left. Well... That meeting went well I suppose?
I returned to my nest and picked up my holopad, returning to what I was doing. And there it was, something I awaited every day. A notification that I was messaged on mailing app. Opening the letter revealed the schedule for the study program. Which... only had one day marked on it. And a note that the rest of it will be figured out ‘as we go from there’. So it’s not a schedule, it’s just a mark for the day of the first meeting.
While a bit underwhelming, it was still exciting. It would be an all-alien class so I wouldn’t have to deal with humans’ incomprehensibility nearly as much, and it would allow me to finally return to pursuing what I actually dreamt of. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure that was precisely what I wanted after everything that happened, it was at least something for me to move towards.
...just two days until start. I wonder if there’s some required reading to prepare?
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