Jack walked into the ship’s medical bay with his hands across his stomach, feeling like the damned thing was doing an entire circus’ worth of acrobatics, and a decided look of discomfort on his otherwise handsome face. The Jal’kek doctor, who looked a bit like a mythical Naga with a serpentine lower body and humanoid upper body covered in fine scales, must have thought Jack was pissed or something because he recoiled in terror briefly before composing himself and straightening.
“How can I help you,” he asked Jack smoothly, trying to hide his initial discomfort.
Jack didn’t hold it against him. Despite First Contact happening almost 25 years ago, he knew most species in the galaxy regarded humans with more than a little trepidation. Apart from Terra being classified as a “Deathworld,” humanity had made a name for itself in what was called, by humans, the First Contact War and by the rest of the galaxy as the Terran/Tal’check War. The Tal’check were an aggressive species and were only kept in check by the Galactic Federation, a group of 50 or so worlds determined to stop the Tal’check before they conquered the entire galaxy. Then Humanity stepped onto the stage.
Humans had been trying for decades to unlock the secrets of FTL travel but their lack of it didn’t keep them down. Luna was settled first, followed by Mars (mostly terraforming crews), then Venus and several of the larger asteroids that didn’t have high amounts of valuable minerals. There were teasing issues, as always happens with humans, but they were quickly solved diplomatically with the help of a rather forceful diplomat. The Terran Alliance was thus born. Eventually Terran scientists created the first successful warp drive and made contact with the Federation, which had grown to encompass almost a hundred worlds. First Contact with the Federation went surprisingly well despite the inherent terror most of the Federation species felt at encountering a predator species. First Contact with the Tal’check however, did not. The Tal’check hated humanity from the very first, for reasons no one could adequately explain, even the Tal’check, who set out to conquer Terra almost immediately.
Humanity fought back, naturally, and while their ships weren’t as sophisticated as the Tal’check ships, their captains were adaptable, innovative, and had far better training than their counterparts. The Tal’check, and the Federation for that matter, were used to fighting in a far more formal manner and their officers were exclusively from their society’s nobility rather than promoting those who were most capable.
The Battle of Jupiter was the war’s grand opening and the battle fleet the Tal’check had sent to conquer Terra was swiftly defeated with acceptable losses to the Terran Alliance. Most of the enemy ships were destroyed but more than a few were captured and while some were sent to the tech geeks, who were salivating at the chance to study them, most were retrofitted for human use and turned against their builders. The Federation offered assistance at first, which humanity gladly accepted, but after witnessing humanity’s ferocity and determination in battle, which the Federation ambassadors called insanity, they eventually withdrew their support. The human ambassador had just shrugged, told them that humanity didn’t really need their assistance anymore and went on to discuss a new trade deal as though nothing had happened. This disconcerted the Federation ambassadors a lot. They were disconcerted even more when, after just over a year of fighting, humanity conquered the Tal’check Empire in its entirety.
Rather than exterminate the whole race as the Federation had feared, humanity integrated them into its own alliance and now controlled a vast swath of territory and a military that dwarfed even the Federation. Not only that, but they had gained a reputation as fierce, if insane fighters.
Jack himself was about 6’ 2” with piercing green eyes, shockingly red hair cut in the traditional military manner and, unusually for a ginger, nicely tanned skin. The rolled-up sleeves of his uniform jacket were stretched tight over his biceps and looked as though they might rip with the slightest movement of his arms. He knew he intimidated most people, and most aliens found any human intimidating, so he paid the doctor’s reaction no mind.
“I was actually looking for Dr. Rodriguez,” Jack replied, referring to the human doctor who was part of his squad and had come on board with them when they had agreed to be security for this trip.
The Doctor, whose name was Chal, Jack remembered, looked a little disappointed, but then brightened.
“I’m afraid she went to get something to eat, but if it’s nothing too serious I’m sure I can handle it. I’ve been brushing up on human anatomy,” he said proudly.
Jack hesitated for a moment. Doctor Chal had sounded confident, but Jack had taken it about as well as someone saying they knew how to perform open heart surgery after watching a YouTube video. It didn’t exactly fill him with confidence to put it mildly. His stomach gave another flip and he grimaced.
“Ok,” he said at last and shuffled over to lay on one of the biobeds, whose monitors lit up and began to display his vitals as soon as he was settled.
Doctor Chal eagerly slithered over, a little too eagerly if you’d asked Jack, and pulled out a hand scanner. As he ran the scanner up and down Jack’s body, he glanced at the vitals monitors.
“Your vitals look good for the most part,” Doctor Chal said. “Heart rate and blood pressure are a little elevated, but I’m given to understand that that is normal for humans under these conditions.”
“Great, doc,” Jack said dryly. He knew Chal was trying to be reassuring but he was failing miserably and didn’t seem to recognize it.
After a few more passes with the scanner, Chal looked at the screen with a puzzled expression.
“Hmmm,” Chal said consideringly.
Like most humans, Jack really hated when most doctors did that.
“What,” Jack asked trying not to let his alarm show. “What’s hmmm?”
Chal seemed not to hear him for a minute before he replied in what Jack was sure he thought was a reassuring tone. Jack was anything but reassured. “Tell me, what was the last thing you ate?”
“A roast beef sandwich and a bag of potato chips?” Jack said, more like asked, confused.
“Is that a fairly normal meal for you?”
“Fairly normal, yeah. What’s wrong doc?”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Chal said, patting him somewhat awkwardly on the head like Jack was some kind of pet. “I’m just going to go run these results through the computer really quick. I’m not entirely sure this scanner was properly calibrated for humans.”
He slithered away into his office before Jack could do more than blink stupidly at him. Jack felt like he’d been hit over the head with a hammer.
A few minutes later he heard, “Doctor Rodriguez please report to sick bay, Doctor Rodriguez, please report to sick bay,” come from outside. It was somewhat muffled by the closed sick bay doors, but it was distinct. Jack tried to breathe slowly as his mind raced with ever more terrible predictions of what was wrong with him.
An interminable amount of time later, the doors to sick bay wooshed open and the tall form of Doctor Rodriguez strolled into the room. She had long black hair, beautiful brown eyes that usually sparkled with humor when off duty, and curves in all the right places. Her skin was that amazing bronze color everyone of South American descent seemed to possess and while her chest wasn’t huge, Jack knew his sister would be jealous of it. If he swung that way, Jack would probably try to hit on her and be shot down as viciously as she shot down everyone on the team who had tried. The veterans on the squad knew better.
She glanced at him lying on the biobed and stopped, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Stevenson,” she said knowingly, her voice like ice. She walked over to the biobed as she kept talking and stopped beside it. “I should have known. What did you do this time?”
“I have no idea.”
She gave him a look that said, just how stupid do you think I am?
“Scout’s honor,” he said innocently, holding up three fingers.
She huffed in amusement. “Like you were ever a scout.”
“Doctor Rodriguez,” Doctor Chal said leaning out of his office door. When she looked up at him, he continued. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”
She frowned but nodded and patted Jack on the shoulder before going into the office. Jack hadn’t even had time to say that he had, in fact, been a scout, if briefly.
A few minutes later, Doctor Rodriguez came back out and stood beside his biobed. She was rubbing her forehead, which did nothing to help Jack’s nerves. He knew she thought him a bit of a clutz with the number of times she’d had to patch up his minor, and not so minor, wounds. Most of which were self-inflicted.
“OK Stevenson,” she said putting her hands on her hips. “Just what the hell was on that sandwich?”
Jack was taken aback and slightly confused by her question. “Ummm, mayo, two slices of roast beef, provolone cheese, and some mustard. Why?”
“And the chips,” she asked, ignoring his question.
“Sour cream and onion.”
She stood there for a minute thinking, then sighed. “Somehow, you’ve picked up some kind of parasite. The readings are a bit off, so Doctor Chal is still going through them, but it looks like we may have to do surgery to remove it.”
Jack sighed and fell back onto his pillow. “Great,” he said dry as dust.
“You’re telling me,” Rodriguez replied. “It seems…”
Before she could continue, Doctor Chal slithered up next to her, a strange look on his face.
“What is it doc?” Jack asked his concern rising again.
“Is there some kind of complication?” Rodriguez asked in a defeated sort of way. Her face conveyed that she wouldn’t be surprised considering the patient.
“Some kind, yes,” Chal replied nervously. “I’m really not sure how to…put this. Normally it would be good news, but…”
When he didn’t seem inclined to continue, even with both humans staring at him expectantly, Doctor Rodriguez exclaimed, “Spit it out already!”
The doctor looked at Jack and tried to smile.
“Congratulations PFC! You’re pregnant!” he said in a jovial tone.
In the stunned silence that followed, a pin was heard hitting the floor somewhere.
…
It was chaos in sick bay for a while after that. Jack contacted his husband, who was also on the squad, and he came bursting into sick bay demanding answers as he rushed up to Jack on the biobed and grabbed his hand. Regulations being what they were, the ship’s captain and Jack’s CO were also summoned to sick bay. Other crew members had heard that something was going on and a few of them came to sick bay to see what all the fuss was about. They were quickly kicked out. Rumors started among the crew ranging from the dangerous to the idiotic as rumors so often do. It was only when everyone was assembled and Doctor Rodriguez had explained what was going on that silence fell again, if only briefly.
“WHAT?!” Roger yelped, his voice a little higher than he would have liked under normal circumstances. These were decidedly not normal circumstances.
“How,” several voices asked at the same time including Captain Finnegan, Jack’s CO. Captain Finnegan had seen a lot in her time in the Terran Alliance Space Navy, but this was a first for her. She kept her red hair cut short enough that the natural curls wouldn’t show, and she was the kind of pale that burned in the barest amount of sunlight but never tanned. Her green eyes were normally stern with just a hint of mischief, but all they showed now was confusion. And probably more than a little humor. It might have been a serious situation, and one of her soldiers may be in serious trouble, but she couldn’t help but find a little humor in it. Hell, if Doctor Rodriguez was any indication, she wasn’t the only one to see the humor in it, but they were both hiding it well. Some of the junior officers weren’t doing such a good job and she saw PFC Stevenson shoot a couple of them glares every now and then. She suspected Specialist Singh was recording the whole scenario on his implants, but she couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t even sure what he was doing there, but no one had told him to leave, or seemed to know when he’d even entered the room, so she didn’t give it much thought.
“I am unsure as to the how,” Doctor Chal replied looking up from a pad, and trying not to appear nervous in front of so many agitated humans. “From my studies, I understand human males are not the ones to carry the children in your species, yes?”
“That’s correct,” Doctor Rodriguez replied. “Human females, such as myself and Captain Finnegan, are typically the ones to carry and birth our young. Males don’t have the anatomy to give birth.”
Captain Finnegan shuddered at the thought of having kids. She was career military through and through. While she wasn’t opposed to the occasional romp while on leave, she preferred children be kept as far away from her as possible. On the other side of the galaxy perhaps. Or even better, in a different galaxy altogether. If they had to be near her, she preferred that they be poached and served on toast with a side of bacon.
Doctor Chal nodded in understanding. “As I said, I am unsure how this happened, but I have a theory.”
“Which is,” Rodriguez asked when Chal’s pause went on a tad too long for her liking.
“The scans reveal that the…fetus has half human, half Glorn DNA,” Chal said slowly. “I don’t know how much you know about the Glorn, but their home world has high levels of various acids. As a result, their reproductive systems involve acid, specifically hydrochloric acid…”
“The same kind of acid as human stomach acid,” Rodriguez asked somewhat incredulously.
“Exactly. In fact, the human digestive system is surprisingly similar to the Glorn reproductive system.”
“Similar how,” Jack asked, curious despite himself. Rodriguez seemed fascinated as well.
“Well…” Chal began. “A Glorn’s womb is built much like your stomachs, very similar in fact. Now that I think about it, their similarities would be a great subject for a study on…”
“Doctor,” Rodriguez exclaimed, throwing her hands up and looking at the ceiling in exasperation. Chal recoiled in terror reflexively before he composed himself. She put her hands on her hips and looked directly at Chal. “We can discuss a paper on cross-species similarities later. How about we get back on track?”
“Right,” Chal said, chastened. “The Glorn are a single sex species and only produce their sex cells when they go into heat once a month, which is actually about two human months. During reproduction, the…receptive Glorn takes the other’s penis into their mouth and…um…stimulates it to release. A valve in the throat ensures that the ejaculate enters the reproductive system instead of the digestive. The sex cells, which are closer to human egg cells than sperm, take in DNA from the cells of the throat as they pass through and the fertilized embryo, or sometimes embryos, then settle in the womb. The acids in the womb bring in nutrients from the stomach, which get absorbed through the protective layers the embryo develops. After gestation, birth proceeds much as it does for humans.”
Doctor Chal finished his speech and looked around at the humans with a somewhat satisfied expression on his face. It quickly turned into worry as he looked at the stunned humans around him.
“Are…are you saying,” Specialist Singh asked, clearly trying to hold back laughter. “Are you saying that the Glorn reproduce via blowjob?”
As the non-humans in the room consulted their implants to figure out what he meant, some of the humans guffawed, some laughed outright, and a few coughed trying to hide their laughter. Captain Finnegan coughed into her hand a couple times, getting her own laughter under control. She couldn’t help the smile on her face though. As she looked at the biobed, she saw PFC Stevenson looking a little green. His husband, Corporal Huxley, looked like he could shit a brick. The two seemed to have a quick conversation through their implants while everyone around them tried to gather themselves.
“It’s a damn good thing humans don’t reproduce that way,” Rodriguez mutters to herself. “Gay men alone would make the population growth unsustainable, even with all the habitable planets in the galaxy.”
Captain Finnegan coughs into her hand again.
“If I understand your terminology correctly,” Doctor Chal says after a moment. “Then yes. Fortunately, there is only one Glorn aboard the ship at the moment, Weapons-master Krulmash, so the identity of the…other father, isn’t in question.”
“BUT I DIDN’T SUCK HIM OFF!” Jack yelled. “I’ve never even talked to him!”
He sounded near tears as he stared into Rodger’s eyes, begging him to believe him. Rodger stared back; expression unreadable. Everyone went quiet as they waited with bated breath. Finally, Rodger let out a sigh and kissed Jack on the forehead.
“I believe you,” he whispered to Jack. “It’s ok baby. We’ll figure this out.”
Jack let out a sob and curled into Rodger’s arms, crying in relief.
“If you did not willingly preform this act with Weapons-master Krulmash, then we must find out how this happened.”
“I have sent a quiet summons to the Weapons-master to report here at once,” came the captain’s watery sounding voice. The captain was a Mabon, an amphibious species that looked a bit like the Creature from the Black Lagoon. “He’s on his way.”
“What’s the gestation rate for a Glorn,” Doctor Rodriguez asked.
“Typically, only about six human hours,” Doctor Chal replied. “The human DNA has slowed things significantly,” he added hastily at seeing her look of alarm. “We have another three hours or so before we need to operate. If necessary, we can remove the fetus in two hours and place it in an incubation chamber.”
“We can’t just cut into his stomach,” Doctor Rodriguez said. “Doing a C-section on a woman is one thing but this…”
“I’ve already considered that,” Doctor Chal replied calmly. “Which is why I sent for Engineer Veela.” He waved over a tall creature with four arms that vaguely resembled a stick covered in brown fur. It’s four eyes gleamed with mirth and Doctor Rodriguez noticed a toolbelt slung around where the creature’s waist might be if it had one she could discern.
“I’ve gotta admit,” it said in a high-pitched voice. “You doctors sure know how to put on a good show. My nest-mates will find this whole thing hysterical!”
“I’m sure they will,” Doctor Chal said genially before Doctor Rodriguez could reply. “Engineer, is it possible to use the sick bay transporter to transport something out of a living body?”
Doctor Rodriguez gave Doctor Chal a sharp look. “You want to use the sick bay transporter to teleport the baby out of Stevenson? Is that even safe?”
“Oh sure,” the engineer said with far more ease than Doctor Rodriguez was comfortable with. “If I can get the sensors tuned correctly it should be safe enough.”
“If? Should be?” Doctor Rodriguez exclaimed, her eyes bulging. “There are two lives at stake here. “If” isn’t good enough.”
“Relax doc,” the engineer said holding up one hand to forestall anymore of Doctor Rodriguez’s tirade. It used another hand to pull what looked suspiciously like a wrench out of its toolbelt. “I’ve got this.”
Without another word, the engineer walked over to a console and began removing a panel from its side.
Before Doctor Rodriguez could say anything, the sick bay doors wooshed open again and in walked a creature that looked vaguely human but had giant bat like ears sticking out to the sides of its head. Its skin was a dark brown color and bulged here and there with muscle. The Glorn Weapons-master towered over most of the others in the room. Only Corporal Huxley stood as tall as Kurlmash and he glared at the Glorn as it stepped into the room.
Kurlmash ignored him, walked up to the captain, saluted and said, “Weapons-master Kurlmash reporting as ordered sir.”
The captain returned the salute and opened his mouth to speak, but the Corporal beat him to it.
“What the FUCK have you done to my husband, you bastard,” Corporal Huxley yelled at him.
“I…I don’t understand,” he replied taking a step back in shock.
“It seems Weapons-master,” the captain replied calmly. “That you have somehow impregnated young, PFC Stevenson here. We are all keen to know how this has happened. Especially since the PFC claims that you two have not been…intimate.”
“We haven’t,” Kurlmash said in surprise. “Pregnant? Are you sure? Are you sure it’s mine?”
His last question was almost hopeful, and the Corporal’s shoulders eased a bit.
“The DNA scans are rather conclusive,” Doctor Chal answered. “If you two have not been intimate then we must figure out how this happened.”
“You said that Glorn only produce sex cells during their heat cycles,” Doctor Rodriguez asked Doctor Chal who nodded in assent. She turned to Kurlmash. “Which means you either just went through a heat cycle or are in one right know.”
“It ended yesterday,” he said nodding. “Doctor Chal was storing my seed for me so my mate could use it to become pregnant upon our return to base.”
“You missed your last appointment, as I recall,” Doctor Chal said.
“I overheard one of the engineers talking about a problem with a freezer. I thought he was talking about the sick bay freezers. I was going to call you about it until I found the container you were using,” Kurlmash replied sounding puzzled.
Both doctors looked at each other in bewilderment. Doctor Chal slithered over to a wall and opened a door, taking out a plastic cylindrical container that had a cone shaped opening at the top. The clear plastic showed the yellow contents of the container clearly.
“There was no issue with the sick bay freezers,” Doctor Chal said. “I’ve had it here the whole time.”
“May I see that,” Doctor Rodriguez asked, a look of puzzled curiosity on her face as she held out her hand. Doctor Chal handed it over and Rodriguez inspected it carefully. To everyone’s shock, she opened the lid and took a sniff. “Smells like…” she began and then stopped, a look of dawning horror washing over her face. She quickly replaced the lid before turning to Stevenson who was watching her warily, one of Rodger’s arms over his shoulders.
“You said you put mustard on your sandwich,” she asked him. He just nodded. “Did it happen to be in something that looked like this?” She held up the container.
All the humans in the room stared at the little container, the very familiar looking container. They had all seen one just like it before, had all used one, sometimes two before. The container in Doctor Rodriguez’s hand looked very much like a plastic ketchup, or in this case, mustard container one might find in any human restaurant.
“Dude,” Jack yelled at the top of his voice. “You jerked off into my mustard?!”
Once again, the non-humans in the room consulted their implants while the humans variously tried to stifle their laughter or not throw up.
“I…I don’t…What is mustard,” Kurlmash asks helplessly.
“It’s…” Rodriguez starts.
“Not fucking important,” Jack exclaims. “You went into my fucking food and jerked off into it! You…you impregnated me! Against my will! Without my knowledge! You violated me! I should wring your fucking neck!”
He tried getting up from the biobed, the look on his face downright murderous, but Rodger held him down, surprise clear on his face.
“Baby. Baby look at me,” he said, his voice calm. When Jack looked at him, Rodger smiled. “It’s ok. I’m right here. Everything will be ok.”
They stared at each other for a minute before Jack broke down again crying and Rodger wrapped his arms around him.
“What is wrong with him,” Captain Finnegan muttered to herself.
“Pregnant,” Doctor Rodriguez whispered to her.
Captain Finnegan jumped and looked at the doctor. When had she gotten so close? Then she turned back to look at Jack and noticed his swollen stomach. Right. The man was pregnant. That was going to take some getting used to.
“Is this normal for pregnant humans,” Kurlmash asked Doctor Rodriguez who nodded.
“Pretty normal, yeah,” she replied thoughtfully. “For human women anyway. Human men don’t normally get pregnant.”
“Ah. I see. So, the death threats are because he’s male?”
“HA! No. Human females will issue death threats too. Usually during labor, along with threatening to cut off the male reproductive organs if they ever come near them again. Fairly standard.”
“I see,” Kurlmash said looking worried.
“What? Pregnant Glorn don’t have mood swings or make threats?”
“No, they have mood swings, as you call them, but I’ve never heard of one making such threats before.”
“Probably because they don’t spend nine months carrying the kid only to be put through agony, sometimes for days, just to give birth,” Captain Finnegan snorted.
“Nine months? Days?” Kurlmash looked even more worried now and he glanced at the biobed.
“Don’t worry,” Doctor Rodriguez told him. “This pregnancy may be a little slower than what you’re used to, but this baby will be here by the end of the day.” She frowned. “Or not.”
She walked up to the biobed and placed a gentle hand on Jack’s shoulder. He looked up at her, his eyes wet and red.
“I’m sorry,” she said kindly. “But no one has asked...and…well…do you even want this baby? It’s not too late to abort.”
Jack stared at her in shock, though she didn’t think it was for the suggestion. She thought it was more because he hadn’t thought of it either.
“I could do that, couldn’t I?”
Doctor Rodriguez shrugged. “Your body, your choice. That’s Terran Alliance law.”
Jack looked to his husband. “What do you think?”
“What are the risks,” Corporal Huxley asked her.
“At a guess, because this an entirely new situation and we have zero idea about anything, I’d say probably the same as the pregnancy itself. I’ve been watching his vitals and as the pregnancy develops, more and more strain is being put onto Jack’s body. A body that was not designed for it. I think he may be able to carry the baby to term, but that’s just a guess. Any pregnancy has its risks, and this is a whole new type of crazy. I have no idea what could happen.”
Rodger looked back at Jack. “Your choice my love. I’ll support your decision; unless it looks like I’ll lose you. I won’t do that. I love you too much, searched for you for too long, to risk losing you.”
“I love you too,” Jack said and the two kissed. And kissed. And kept kissing. Just when things were about to turn awkward, Doctor Rodriguez cleared her throat and the two separated, breathing hard.
“So, does that mean you’re keeping the baby,” Doctor Rodriguez asked.
“Please,” Weapons-master Kurlmash said, and they all turned to face him. He wrung his hands and stared at Jack with a longing look. “I realize I have no right to ask this of you, given the…less than ideal circumstances, but please. My mate and I have been trying to have a child for a long time and, I would really like to start a family.”
“Are you sure they’d be ok with a half human child?” Corporal Huxley asked seriously.
“It…will take some explaining,” Kurlmash admitted. “And probably some time to get used to the idea, but I’m sure the four of us can make it work.”
He stared at them hopefully and eventually Jack nodded.
“Alright doc. Looks like we’re having a baby. But if it looks like I might…ya know…die? Well, don’t let that happen. Dying in combat is one thing. Dying in childbirth? My mother would never let me hear the end of it.”
Rodger snorted. “She may not let you hear the end of it anyway. Not to mention your dad…”
“Please don’t,” Jack said with a groan. “Don’t suppose there’s any way we can just…not tell them?”
Rodger gave him a look and he groaned again. “You’re right.”
“I’m afraid it gets worse, PFC,” Captain Finnegan said with a slight wince. “I’m going to need to file a report with Alliance command. To apprise them of the situation. Alliance medical is probably going to want to know too.”
It was Doctor Rodriguez’s turn to groan. “Fuck! They are going to want to know. Every. Single. Detail. I’m going to be in meetings about this for years!”
She glared at the three prospective parents. “The three of you are officially on my shit list,” she said before angrily turning to talk to Doctor Chal. “We’d better make sure this goes smoothly. The less I have to put into this report the better. I hate paperwork!”

I had ptosis surgery in February which resulted in me not being able to close my eye fully at night (at least that’s what I’m assuming the issue is). I wake up in pain with tears running down my face every night unless I use Systane nighttime severe dry eye relief. It’s the ONLY thing Ive tried so far that works and makes a difference. The ingredients are mineral oil and white petroleum.
But… I’m 6 weeks pregnant and now reading that you’re only supposed to use it during pregnancy if “benefits outweigh risks to the fetus” and that animal studies have shown it’s dangerous. I’m freaking out because I can’t imagine living without this! Does anyone have any insight into how dangerous is really is, the real risks involved, and how much actually absorbs systemically? I can’t find any reliable info anywhere. Is there any completely safe ointment during pregnancy like lanolin? My gut tells me it’s probably not too much of a risk- after all people even ingest mineral oil as a laxative and white petroleum is probably swallowed all the time in chapstick etc. But what I was reading online really concerned me.
Eye drops and gels make no difference. The only thing that helps is thick ointment.
Thank you and help!

I know everyone's bodies are different, but I'm looking to learn about peoples' experience with their bodies changing during pregnancy. This is probably not even a multiples specific question, but I'm I'm going to be a FTM and am 30 wks along with twins. I'm trying to buy all the things I need for postpartum, specifically nursing bras and and nursing tops, so I can have packed in my hospital bag and have at home right after babies arrive. My breasts haven't grown one bit! Is this normal? Should I expect my size to increase closer to the end? Are there any cheap bras you'd recommend on amazon that overlap a few sizes to be safe? Thanks!

Feeling conflicted. I’m 10wks pregnant (🥳), and therefore had to stop ALL my migraine meds except for Tylenol.. which quite honestly is a joke lol.
My neurologist assured me that my Botox treatments would be safe to continue during the pregnancy, but when I asked my OB, he said I should definitely NOT get any Botox during this time.. so who do I listen to?! I trust both doctors, they are seasoned professionals in their fields, and have treated many patients.. so what do you do when they have two conflicting opinions?!
I’ll likely air on the side of caution and just suffer through w/o my Botox, but I’m still feeling conflicted.. any thoughts would be appreciated, especially if you have similar experiences!

Hello all, this is a post inspired by u/Missile_Sandwich and their post: https://www.reddit.com/PrimarchGFs/comments/1d65l73/he_wont_last_long/ which gave me the idea of asking you all these questions in regards to the female Primarchs getting pregnant. So please feel free to pick one or multiple Primarchs and think of:

1. How would the Primarchs react to learning they are pregnant?
2. How would everyone else (Their Legion, The Emperor, Etc.) react to learning they are pregnant?
3. How bad would their mood swings/cravings be?
4. How long would it take the Apothecaries to heal their SOs hips?
5. How would they handle learning they are having more than one child, such as twins or triplets?
6. What kind of parent would they end up being to the child?

To start us off, I will give my own take on these in regards to Kassandra Kurze being the one pregnant.

1. Shock. Complete and utter dumbfounded shock as they wonder if their Vox devices are malfunctioning, or if something is wrong with their ears as they process the fact that Kassandra, The Night Haunter, is the first of their number to be with child.

They then feel something akin to respect to Kassandra's Beacon for the sheer balls it takes to do what they have done, though it is also mixed no small amount of pity as they realize just what form of hell said Beacon is going to endure not only over the course of her pregnancy, but also afterwards.
That is the moment they also realize that they will be Aunts, which makes them feel rather complicated feelings, namely a mixture of happiness at having a natural born niece or nephew along with the dread of just what form of hell a child born to Kassandra Kurze will raise over the course of their life.
A more detailed answer is:
Aurelia prays for the sake of the universe, she then decides that she will not let her sister be the only one pregnant as she sets off to make Slaanesh take notes on what she does to her Little Light.
Magna tries to scry into the future to see how fucked everyone is, she gives up eventually and decides that she will fortify the hell out of Prospero and then try and one up her sister.
Fulgrim...Fulgrim...Yeah she is not going to take that lying down. Her Muse is likely not going to be leaving her chambers for several weeks...or months as she also makes Slaanesh wonder how the hell she is not one of her Daemonettes.
She also paints a series of apocalyptic portraits inspired by the mental images that run through her mind when she wonders what her nieces/nephews will do, during the moments where she needs to let her Muse take a breather.
Freya, after she is done drinking herself into a stupor to try and forget the news along with her legion, the entire planet they are on joining in as they all try and wake up from what must surely be a nightmare, only to realize it is not a nightmare and that they are in fact in a timeline where the Night Haunter will have children.
She also decides that fuck it, she is not letting her sister be the only one to bring new additions to their family, something her Slayer is stuck helping her with as Freya shows just how feral she can be when it comes to intercourse in pursuit of breeding.
Atlanta...it is one of the few times the Nails seem to malfunction as she is able to feel genuine shock, unease, and a looming sense of horror at what may happen to the universe as she holds her Rose like a teddy bear to try and keep the nightmares away when she is not breaking both their hips and the bed.
The Twins are running around trying to make sure that their lover and them will be safe, failsafe after failsafe being prepared in case they need to vanish, all while taking turns with their own lover, not quite certain why they want a child, but knowing that they do.
Lion is busy making sure her Legion and their base are as prepared and fortified as possible, the training of both her Squire and her Legion is taken to a new level as they try to make ready for the approaching storm that a Mini Kassandra could bring.
Does she want a child of her own? Maybe, but that can take a back seat till she is certain that they will survive the coming storm.
Petra and her Assistant are currently building a planet sized fortress with the Iron Warriors, their shared horror uniting them in making the most fortified position in the galaxy as they layer trap after trap and wall after wall in the hopes of creating something to serve as their hiding place.
The Lady of Iron may feel jealous of her sister and have her own desire for a child now, but she wants a safe place to hide within first.
Sanguinia is happy for her sister, she is also stockpiling every singly slate and scroll she can find on psychology to make sure the child does not become like their mother, even as she tries to help Kassandra cope with the news.
She is torn between wanting a child of her own, and not doing so out of fear of them inheriting her curse and being condemned due to it, though said fear has not stopped her from taking her lover as much as she can.
Ferra has begun to build up a stockpile of power armor and weapons as she tries to make certain they can weather the storm, her Iron Heart having to reign her in and keep her from working herself to death as she designs dreadnought sized suits of armor to hide away with her lover within, any desire for a child pushed aside till she feels they are safe.
Cora has begun trying to find any form of stealth technology that can remove her and her Nightingale from the physical world, or at the very least the most well hidden planet that she can, so that they will have a safe place to hide away on.
Once she finds such a place, then she can try and have a child of her own, but that can wait for when they find a means of cloaking the entire planet.
Hestia has not left her forge since she heard the news, at first it was to make some gifts for her coming nieces/nephews, then, once they were done, it became a matter of creating the most powerful armor and arms that she can, her legion having joined in to make certain they will not be caught unprepared.
She has also been putting the Apothecaries through their paces due to how many times her Wyrmheart has had their spine and pelvis shattered.
Hathor has spent her time after learning the news dealing with the sheer influx of diplomats from various segmentums that have come to beg asylum and peace with the Imperium, her and Juno, along with their Consort and Centurion, having been so swamped with their work of ordering these seemingly unending additions they have had no time to even think of children of their own.
Morrigan and her Lily have begun contemplating ways of vanishing from the Imperium even as the Death Guard try and create some form of chemical that will repel miniature Kurze's, the intimacy between Morrigan and her Lily being more to deal with the stress than a desire for children, though she would not complain.
Alakhai has begun building the fastest ships she can conceive of, her legion pitching in to insure that if it comes to it they can hotfoot it from one end of the galaxy to another without the need for going through the warp.
Her Whirlwind has also been dealing with stress relief duty, along with the Primarch's growing desire for children of her own.
Regalia has begun making sure that the fortress of her Legions world will be genuinely impregnable, not even an ant shall be able to enter the walls of it without setting off enough alarms to wake half the galaxy, her lover having guided the legion to trap every single inch of it that they can as the labyrinthian fortress rises.
She can deal with any thought of children once she has made certain her home cannot be breached...and when she learns where they come from.

1. The Night Lords reaction is a mixture of awe, shock, and horror as they realize that by some form of Warp Fuckery there is a very real chance of there being multiple miniature versions of their mother running around the ship at one point in the near future.

They also have taken to saluting the Beacon every time they see them, along with having severely stepped up security around them in fear of what would happen should anything happen to them.
The Emperor and Malcador share the same reaction, they both pause in what they are doing and share a single look of genuine horror as they begin to make their own plans to try and mitigate the damage that is likely to occur.
The Four have ceased their squabbling and begun to fortify their domains, Nurgle has risen walls of miasma and plague that could melt flesh around his Garden even as he works to make more to act as a shield against the nightmare to come.
Slaanesh, between her notetaking, has begun to make certain that her rings cannot be breached, her daemons having been put to work erecting traps and fortifications wherever they can, along with seducing more and more to act as meat shields or offerings to keep the storm at bay.
Tzeentch has begun to make plan after plan to survive, his Impossible Fortress having grown more and more labyrinthian as he tries to see a future where he will survive the the potential nightmare to come, though such a thing seems dimmer and dimmer with each day.
Khorne has begun to ready his armies, his worlds are becoming more and more fortified as his daemons sharpen their fangs and claws and swords upon one another such that they will be able to meet the threat head on in what will likely be the most blood-soaked clash in history.
And in the dark, Malice has begun to plan and scheme...its laughter making the Four hurry in their efforts of fortifications.

1. Yes...Just yes. Kassandra switches from depressed sobbing and wailing over the slightest of things, to tearing apart her own Legion with her bare hands over that same matter, the Night Lords having since began to pray day and night that their legion survives the pregnancy.

As for her cravings...I will not elaborate, just know that it is going to be...interesting.

1. They nearly gave up. The Apothecaries of the Night Lords nearly gave up on trying to heal the Beacon before they realized that without them to help take the edge off of her stress and reign her in, their mother would likely slaughter most of the galaxy before the child arrives.

And so after several days, they manage to heal them and send them off as a sacrificial lamb with salutes and pats on their shoulder.

1. That is the moment that the Galaxy froze, as from the Ruinous Powers of the Four, to the Emperor, to the Aeldari seers, feel nothing but sheer terror as they all switch gears to panic mode, an unofficial truce forming as all try and fortify themselves.

The Night Lords have gone from being the most feared legion, to being the most pitied in the galaxy as all learn just how fucked they are, something that they genuinely agree with.

1. HelicopteOverprotective parent on steroids. She will not let her child walk the same path as her, there will not be another Night Haunter, not so long as she draws breath, she will make certain that they never endure what she did on Nostromo, no matter the cost.

She will flay entire star systems to scare all others into horrified compliance, even as she spends her nights rubbing her stomach with tears in her eyes, whispering how she will always protect her child, and how they will never need to know fear so long as she lives.
Until the day of their birth, she will be hard at work, even harder than before, systems will bleed as worlds run red, once she is done, none will dare to gaze upon her child with ill intent, for all will know that not even the gods are safe from the Night Haunter.
And when they are born, she will hold them, the tiny and frail thing born of her and her love, and for the first time in oh so long, her heart will beat for another, it will warm for another, and the visions and nightmares that plague her will be kept at bay by that love and warmth until they inevitably return.
But she will not allow them to come to pass, their birth and her lover's presence tell her the future can be changed, and for them to be able to enjoy that golden future the Emperor foresees for humanity, she will gladly become the devil feared and reviled by all.
Her soul in hell, for theirs in heaven...a fair trade in her eyes.(1)
That said, they will not be able to leave her sight for much of their time, remaining safe with her Beacon when she cannot be with them, but when she can be, she will switch from the monster feared by all, to the doting and overprotective mother that has to be talked out of giving them toys made of skin by her Beacon.
Her own little slice of heaven.
That is what I have, how about all of you?
P.S. The Line marked one contains a reference to a character and a show, care to guess which one?

My 2.5 year old is in preschool. School is out for the summer so she's starting daycare tomorrow. We just found out my wife is pregnant, about 2 weeks in, and she's very worried about getting sick from my daughter at such a critical time.
My daughter started school in Jan and, life every other kid, got sick several times these last few months. It's slowed down a bit, but the daycare is way more kids in a room, up to 20 with 2 teachers, and we're very worried about her going through another round of being sick constantly and what that could do if my wife gets sick so early in a pregnancy.
Any suggestions on keeping my wife safe? Strategies you've used, even anecdotes about when you went through this? It would all be appreciated.

Note: THIS THREAD IS A SAFE SPACE FOR THOSE EXPERIENCING IVF JOURNEY WITHOUT SUCCESS (aka CANCELED or ZERO YIELD ERs, CANCELED FETs, RIF, RPL).
Others: please utilize ANY OTHER WEEKLY THREAD (i.e. ER prep, Transfer, Beta hCG, Panic) to vent about disappointing/less desirable but still technically successful results.
The fact of the matter is that infertility sucks. IVF sucks. Many of us have been on this IVF journey for several months to years without success including canceled or zero yield ERs, canceled FETs, recurrent implantation failure, recurrent pregnancy loss etc. You are not alone. Please use this thread to vent and/or support your fellow warriors.

I (28m) have been divorced for 2 years. I have an amazing son and I get more time with him than most fathers get to enjoy. My ex wife is a terrible co parent and is extremely abusive and disgusting towards me. However, she is a good mom and always does her best for our child. When we got together, it was instant love. We had an amazing 6 years together. She was abused by her previous husband and I did everything I could to make her feel safe. When we found out our son was coming, I couldn't stop smiling. It was like a dream come true. Three months into the pregnancy, something happened. Her entire personality died. She started having hallucinations, psychosis episodes etc. I work in the medical field so I understand what was going on and tried to help her through it as best I could. After our son was born, PPD hit her hard. I encouraged her to go to the doctors but she refused to be put on meds due to her breastfeeding. I tried to convince her that it was best but she chose that hill to die on so I supported her. Fast forward two years, the anxiety and bipolar never went away. She was verbally abusive towards me, and was constantly trying to gaslight me into thinking I was the problem and I was abusive. Constantly playing the victim. She went months without paying any of her bills and I had to sink my savings in her account so she could pay her mortgage. I eventually convinced her to combine our finances and did all of the budgeting. She was unhappy she wasn't allowed to spend bill money on shopping which was her coping mechanism and claimed I was financially abusive. As you can imagine, I finally had enough and filed for divorce. I did everything I could to make it better for our son. I offered her the house to which she said no. I also let her keep the vehicles and everything she asked for. While I wasn't happy anymore I still loved her more than anyone. We kept coming back to each other over the first year and it destroyed me. I had my relationships and she had hers. I have only had one serious relationship since and it ended in disaster. After that, I hit tinder really hard and found out I was quite successful. So queue an entire year of playing the game and messing around. I had also started going to therapy to address the issues I had and to better myself.
When everything went down, I discovered that my friends weren't really my friends and I found a new friend group including people from her family who had seen everything that went on. This group consisted of a bunch of coworkers who came to my aid during the hardest times. There was a group of girls who lived together. We will call them Jen, Becca, and Bre. Jen is engaged, Becca is a walking red flag who flirts with everyone and Bre is the youngest of them all and had just started life outside of school. Naturally, I caught feelings for Becca very quickly. I knew it was a terrible idea and stopped myself from pursuing anything more than friends although I admit it took a lot of self control. Bre started seeing my roommate and I had the misfortune of watching her be treated very poorly by him. When they broke up I messaged her and offered advice and comfort. We have talked to each other since then and became your typical guy best friend/ girl best friend combo. We started hanging out and going on friend dates rather than date people for real to give ourselves time to heal. Every time there was a new girl in my life I would talk to her and vice versa. I always maintained noone was good enough for her as I truly believed she deserved someone who was perfect and loved her for who she really was. This continued for months nothing romantic, no physical contact except for an occasional hug. Strictly platonic. A month ago I started noticing little things like her staring at me when I wasn't looking, and being a little irritated when I brought up a new girl. I am a moron and never put it together. One day at a therapy appointment I mentioned this to my therapist in passing and she stopped and circled back and helped me come to realize what was going on. I had been pushing down feelings for her for months at this point without realizing it. That night I asked her on our usual friend date out to eat. There was a waiter that was her type and she wasn't interested at all. I also noticed she barely responded to the guys trying to snap her. Two days later I asked her to hang out again. She said she wanted a movie night at home and I was more than happy. We watched a few movies and ended up on the couch. She laid down and put her head in my lap. I noticed her looking up at me every few minutes and eventually took the hint and I'm sure you can imagine the rest. We have spent almost every day together since and quite honestly there's something about this girl that makes me feel like nothing was ever wrong in the first place. She's everything I want in a partner and knows more about me than anyone else and still chose me.
Looking back on my marriage this entire situation petrifies me. I have lost everything once and am scared to lose it all again. I want to give her a chance and know that I would be happy but also am nervous about what could happen.

Hey everyone, just wanted to share some hope. I had a baby last December and I knew that having a baby would set back my progress with agoraphobia. Between the hormone changes, sleep deprivation, and then just the fact that getting out of the house with a baby is harder, I knew my progress would slow or regress. And that’s definitely happened. During my pregnancy I was doing things I hadn’t done in years, like going to Disneyland and the beach. But since I had my baby I haven’t gone further than about 15 minutes from my house. During my pregnancy my appointments were 15 or 20 minutes away so I was going that far frequently (with a safe person).
We were invited to a friend’s daughter’s birthday party and it was 30 minutes away. And I’ve been sick over it. I said we would attend but I really didn’t believe I could. In the days leading up to the party I would think about it and want to cry. Yesterday was the day of the party and one of my other friends that was going to go text me and said she couldn’t make it. This combined with feeling so scared made me want to cancel. But I didn’t. I felt sick the whole time getting ready. We got the kids packed up and felt like crying as we got in the car. As I know you guys can understand, I felt like I was going to my own funeral just trying to go to a birthday party. On the drive I kept wanting to say “I can’t do this, turn around.” But I refused to give in. I thought about how good it would feel to see my friends and how good it feels after doing something you thought you couldn’t. My anxiety was saying “you’re doing too much, this time you’re going to lose your mind and also embarrass yourself.” And so I said to myself “okay fine. I’ll get to her house and I’ll panic and call an ambulance. As soon as I can’t take it anymore I’ll just panic.”
And then we walked into the party and the distraction of the party stopped my panic symptoms. Because that’s the thing, I do enjoy being out and with people and if I can push through the fear of being far from home, I can enjoy the actual activity.
So I’m sharing all of that because I was scared that having another baby may have permanently hurt my recovery but it’s not true. You can always start again where you are and make new progress. No matter what happened to cause a setback you can always improve. And your anxiety is a liar. Even if you panic you can survive the panic.

I am 33 y/o pregnant with my first baby. Currently 38 weeks and 5 days. I am "morbidly obese" and a BMI that is I believe between 48-50. My blood pressure has been great, I have no other "issues" other than being fat. My baby is growing normally, amniotic fluid is checked weekly and that all looks great. My baby passes his NST every week. Again, just fat.
I feel I've been forced into this fat mom mold by my doctors. They've been talking about inducing for some time now. I desperately want my baby to come on his own. I understand the dangers of waiting too long over 40 weeks, but I also want to give my body the chance to do what it is made to do without inducing. My body has done everything it should for my baby and myself during this pregnancy. It frustrates me because I feel I am being pressured into inducing despite not wanting to.
My dr wanted me to induce at 39 weeks, I requested 40. But after thinking about it, I just don't feel it's long enough. So I would like to go to 40 weeks and 6 days (possibly 41 depending on inducing availability at the hospital) then induce.
I know I am fat, I know my weight is an issue. I will obviously do whatever I have to do to keep myself and my baby safe. But if everything with my weekly check ups are looking good and my daily blood pressure checks continue to look good, why can't I wait just a little longer?
Please don't weight or body shame me. Please don't berate me. Educate me if you disagree. Are there any other moms that have some experience with morbidly obese pregnancies?
Edited to add: all bloodwork, urine analysis, and EKGs have come back normal.

I have been dating my bf for about 8 months.
I do not live with him. I live in a women's share house and pay my own rent. The house is safe with cameras outside.
However I don't work, but always apply and will study soon too.
He works full time and buys my groceries, things for my room, gifts etc. He drives me to shop and I spend time with his mum and sisters at his house who I love.
He was physically abusive only once, where he was angry about me not giving him sex, and arguing with him so draged me half off the bed, got on top, he grabbed my arms, and pinned me down, raises his hands in my face. "I told you not to make me angry"
He only stopped because his family heard me scream and came into room to intervene. He wasnt trying to rape me but was trying to intimidate me which worked. He was drunk and reckons he doesnt remember.
Even though it happened once its always in the back of my mind. Since then, about a few weeks ago he said "Please dont make me angry. Otherwise police are going to come here. Time for me to drive you home."
I just quickly agreed as I remember what he did last time he said that.
Theres been another time he told me he will break my ipad he bought for me.(he didnt break it)
Yesterday I told him that I get scared of making him angry and he said "Why scared? I dont hit women) He doesnt think he is abusive. Then it made me think maybe hes not that bad since he doesnt hit me.
He also drinks and drives sometimes which scares me too.
Theres also the verbal abuse like threats to cheat, comparing me to his ex, insults, etc.
Another problem is me trying to prevent pregnancy. He told me birth control pill is a good idea, but once I started it I had break through bleeding as a side effect, and he got angry about this as it interfered with him having sex with ne.
I stopped taking it. At this point he just pulls out every time. He said he wanted kids in a year or 2, but now somehow last time I saw him he said "in about 3 or 4 months we will start trying"
I don't even know where that came from as he has been telling me to work and get an appartment and work on myself. How can I even do that when I am pregnant?
He was like "I am renting a house seperate from family in few months and we can try then" wtf?
I honestly don't even know if that is a cultural thing (he is iranian) or if its abusive with the rushing pregancy out of nowhere.
I am planning to break up with him when I get a job. I almost ended it the other day but not too nervous. He reckons if I break up with him he is ok with that and wont cause any issues for me.
I am going to have to start taking the pill again and hopefully it doesnt cause bleeding as that is just going to irritate him.

Hi, everyone!
TLDR: I’m looking for advice from the community about rituals or spells that would help cleanse/prepare a new home my husband and I are moving into.
I’ve had a weird roller coaster of a year (the past 12ish months) where a lot in my life has changed. Job loss, loss of a close family member, unexpected longterm travel, new job, unexpected pregnancy with our first child, loss of our beloved dog, etc.
This had culminated in my husband and I deciding to make a change and move out of the small condo we’ve lived in for 15 years into a bigger, roomier rental house before our baby is born.
We get the keys in a few days and I want to prepare/cleanse the physical space and also prepare ourselves for what feels like a big reset on our lives while we prepare to welcome our baby.
I’m looking for your suggestions because , basically, this past year I got distracted with everything and dropped most of my witchcraft practices. It’s like I’ve been in a spiritual hiatus. I’d like to also use this as a chance to reset and start practicing again. My practice is eclectic and laid back, but I’m Latina - my ancestry is a mix of south American indigenous and Spanish, and my direct maternal line is Italian, so those are the practices that resonate most with me.
I plan to do a smoke cleanse of the whole house before we move our stuff in, and do some meditation and intention setting, but I’d love suggestions for other rituals or spells I might do to prepare the home to make it a safe happy space, and help us leave behind the negative stuff and hit reset. I have access to a fireplace, as well as an outdoor fire pit in the backyard. I like making spell jars, but it’s been a long time since I’ve made one. I also like to work with kitchen Witchery, plants, tarot, candles, and journaling.
Ok. Sorry this post got so long. Thanks in advance for any advice 🙂

I wanted to put together, on a public forum, a list of all the arguments for either side along with their strongest counterpoints.
Any great comments below can be added to the list. Any holes pointed out in my wording will be used to edit the phrasing.
Disclosure(Im pro choice and am in agreement with the current abortion laws in Australia, Canada, and most of the EU).
The Primary Pro Life argument is that the embryo and fetus are a person at the moment of conception and thus, should be afforded all the rights that any child, or person, has.
In order for this argument to hold water, it needs to prove that the embryo is a person at conception, AND that this matters enough to prevent an abortion. I’m going to avoid using loaded language like ‘human life’, because obviously the embryo is human and obviously it is alive in some way. We don’t automatically grant rights to anything that is human and is alive. If science can grow a living human heart in a lab, we wouldn’t consider it a person and we wouldn’t grant it rights. So clearly being human, and being alive, aren’t enough. It needs to be human, alive, and a person.
Supporting claims for why it is a person:

• Unlike a heart in a lab, an embryo is growing into a mature human. An embryo is a complete human organism. All it needs are nutrients, time, and a safe place to grow in order to mature.
  
• We do not value individual parts of a person, we value the whole organism, and the embryo has the entire package. It is human, it is alive, and it is growing and maturing.
  

Supporting claims for why this matters:

• If we accept that the embryo is a person, then we must grant it the right to life and cannot be killed unjustifiably.
  
• The baby is completely innocent, devoid of any ill intent, and society should make it a moral duty for a parent to care and provide for their baby during pregnancy, not just after birth.
  
• Abortion cannot be considered justifiable self defence in this instance.
  
• If we accept that the embryo is a person: We do not permit parents to neglect, abandon, or harm their children. They are required, by law, to care and provide for them. This legal duty overrides their bodily autonomy. They are permitted, however, to give up guardianship.
  
• If we argue that it is not a person, then what is missing from the equation that makes it a person? What element is missing from an embryo to consider it a person?
  

Counter-Argument:
1 - It is not a person:

• Brain activity is when personhood begins. If you cut my head off and attached it to a machine that kept me alive and conscious, and simultaneously kept my body alive, you wouldn’t have 2 people. My head would be me, my body would be something else.

If we accept that it’s something about the conscious experience, then we don’t grant any rights until roughly 20-26 weeks into the pregnancy.
If the embryo is a person at the moment of conception, and the mother takes the ‘morning after’ pill resulting in the murder of a fertilized egg, then you must support the position of convicting this mother of first degree murder.
Almost nobody wants to convict someone of first degree murder for taking the morning after pill, even if it does prevent implantation and terminate a fertilized egg. Clearly not a person.
If a fertilized egg is a person and you are in an emergency situation where there is a 2 year old child that you can save, or a container with 100 fertilized eggs that will be saved if you grab the container, and you can only save 1… you must save the fertilized eggs since they are people to you, leaving the child to die.
Most people do not want to live in a society where these two hypotheticals are supported.
2 - It doesn’t matter that it is a person.
Even if we accept that the embryo is a person, it should not get special rights to another person’s body. It may be morally virtuous to keep a pregnancy, since the embryo is not there by choice, but we do not want society to force it as a moral DUTY upon the mother.
Even if we accept that the embryo is a person, it poses a threat of major bodily harm to the mother, which would potentially grant her the right to self defence. The embryo is a threat, albeit a completely innocent one devoid of any ill intent.
Should we allow lethal self defence against innocent people to prevent them from using one’s body in a serious way? The level of seriousness matters, and it’s reasonable to view the seriousness here as significant enough to justify lethal self defence in the eyes of most people.
PRO CHOICE:
Two main positions:
1 - The mother’s bodily autonomy overrides the autonomy of the baby.
2a - The fetus is not a person until it is viable outside the womb.
2b - The fetus is not a person until it is conscious.
2c - The fetus is not a person until it has a heartbeat.
2d - The fetus is not a person until it can feel pain.
2e - The fetus IS the mother, thus removing the fetus is akin to removing an appendix, or cist.
Counter arguments:

• If both the mother and the fetus are people, surely bodily autonomy is not as valuable a right as the right to life.
  
• If medical science pushed viability all the way back to conception, would you become pro life?
  
• many things have a heartbeat, but we allow people to kill them. It is being a human organism that makes it a person.
  
• many things feel pain. Also, if you lost your ability to feel pain, should we be allowed to kill you?
  
• Since this position is not concerned with the baby being a person, if an 18 week old fetus could communicate that it wanted to terminate the pregnancy and kill the mother, this position has to reconcile why one person’s autonomy is more valuable than the other’s.
  
• Society already removes a parent’s autonomy and does not allow them to abandon(unless they give them up for adoption), their children in order to avoid the 18+ year commitment of feeding, protecting, clothing, housing, and educating the children. Parents have a duty, required by law, to use their bodies to provide for their children, or give them up for adoption.
  
• While almost nobody has a right to the mother’s body, society does afford children with the right to be provided for by their parents.
  

My opinion:

• The self defence argument is indefensible. The threat does not rise to the level needed to justify self defence, and the innocence of the baby is worth consideration. The life of a baby is of high enough value, that there should be a moral duty of some sort placed on the mother. We only allow lethal self defense in society when there are no reasonable non-lethal alternatives methods of defence available. Meaning, if we can remove the baby safely, then this position has to concede that abortions on, or beyond, this point are unjustifiable.
  
• The argument that ‘Personhood begins at conception’ is also indefensible. We do not want people saving 100 fertilized eggs over a 2 year old child. We also do not want to convict women of first degree murder for taking a ‘morning after’ pill.
  
• Personhood begins at some point around 20-26 weeks. This makes the most sense to me and is in line with Canadian abortion laws. No provinces offer abortion on request at 24 weeks and beyond, although there are exceptions for certain medical complications, such as endangering the mother’s life. Abortions for convenience after 24 weeks are not permitted anywhere in Canada. Although, there are no CRIMINAL restrictions throughout pregnancy.
  

I just found out baby #4 is on the way, during a time I’m craving tea like crazy lol. During other pregnancies, I never really craved or drank tea. I’ve been drinking a mixed berry tea, but would love to try something different as I’m kind of getting tired of it after just less than a couple weeks. I do drink green tea but only 1 cup in a day watered down a bit. What is your favorite? TYIA!

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TW: mention of living children
I lost my 6 month old baby boy James in August 2021. I had a 7 year old and was 7 weeks pregnant at the time. I do have a tendency to push my feeling into the box at the back of my head and not deal with stuff, especially then when I felt like I had to put on a brave face for my older daughter and somehow face a pregnancy and birth again. I felt like I did most of my grieving and crying in his last days in hospital, when I knew he was going to die.
I have since dealt with everything as best as I can and at times it has felt like I have been dealing with it suspiciously too well. In the last few weeks I have been evicted from my house and split up James's dad (and the dad of my youngest). I've got a week to pack a whole house on my own along with all the other admin, cleaning and prep whilst working and dealing with a toddler. I'm knackered and heartbroken and scared of being alone and after packing up all the memories of James and working out how I'm going to move these precious things safely I feel like it's just hit me. I just keep bursting into tears and having to stop myself from screaming that I've lost my boy and he's gone.
I've never felt much attachment to his ashes, I kind of just pretended that I did but it was just a box of dust to me, not my son. But now I have to move them and the thought of anything happening to them or putting them in another box to bounce around a van is knocking me sick.
I don't know what the point of this post is but I need to get it out and if I say it out loud I will start to cry again and I'm scared I won't stop.

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MY COLLAGE FRIEND

hey there let's go for a erotic story

I mean this will be the best story you had ever listened, so first of all my name is Joe
so it all started when I was around 17 I had addicted to porn. i mean i started watching porn everyday and then masturbate, but then due to some self belief and internal feelings I left it as you know I got motivated from YouTube and successfully get rid from masturbation, it was a miracle for me.
afterwards when I turn 18 I got admission into a collage and decided to stay in the hostel after all. there I found that there were separate hostels for girls and boys and hence I had hoped for making a female friend who can talk with me and we both play and study together.
after a year I found that I had got many friends and somewhat female friends too. in there one girl named Lily. she was a attractive girl if I explain her body then she was petite meaning she was skinny and also with blonde hairs and she wears metal silver frame glasses, I mean I was like I love her, I don't know whether I can make her my friend or not but I thought I should give it a try.
after another year passed and I had successfully made her my friend, I know you are curious about how does this happen, talking about how does this happen I had tried to talk with her whenever I got chance and I think that she had also understanded me that I wanted to be her friend and so then she come by herself to make a good friendship, I was happy no happiest I can't explain how I feel, she was so kind and full of good humour
after collage last day I was like a best friend of her in male section as I always talk with her and crack jokes and fun, and she also seem to like it.
so after collage I invited her to be my guest in my house, my parents will definitely love it, by this she had first denied it for she thought that this is a fast decision but after my several requests she finally accept it, I feel a lot good inside.
so we came home my parents were happy to see me as I had come hack home after half year as collage have vacations on every 6 months and I came to spend my time with my parents, I introduces lily and made her to stay with my room.
yes of course I had taken her permission as if she feels uncomfortable in my room she can head to my room and I will sleep in living room. but she said that she is comfortable in there.
then at night she wearied her night dress it was kind of a very short cloth heading to her chest to below of her panties, I feel something but I think that she is my friend and then she and I went for sleep, as we had shifted to my new home my parents had a new double bed and the old double bad had given to me and it was in a good condition, so lily slept besides me.
when we are sleeping she was watching her phone and I acted as I was asleep but when I moved to her direction she took her phone away, I thought she is hiding something from me I pretended to be slept, she still had taken her phone away from my eyes as I think she was making it sure I don't watch her phone, I pretended to be in sleep after around 15 to 20 minutes. lily thought that now I am in a deep sleep she took her phone and I shocked she was watching porn, and as I see her another hand I found that she is trying to masturbate, I think I should have taken her chance and found to be done for it.
next day I wake up early and head to medical store to buy condom and then make it hide into my secret drawer in my room and then I spend my rest of the day enjoying with me parents and my friend lily.
now as we had dinner and watched tv, we finally gone for sleep and it was her last night for my house as she also wanted to go to her parents house to met them and to spend time with them.
then I asked what she was hiding from me, she said nothing interesting, I told her what I had seen, she blushed and said you finally got it huh I am feeling shy don't discuss about it huh
I took out my condom packet and shown to her, she said what are you thinking about it , she was like she wanted to do this with me from very past. I said yes and then I gone to bathroom and watched tutorial for how to wear it as I had never seen a condom I had just known that it avoids pregnancy and safe for mating, I wearied it and first came to lily with my shirt removed already, she said come on it is so fast.
I kissed her again do the same and like doing it for around 2 to 3 minutes, I took my hands and take it into her chest I found out that she had wearied a pink bra, she was like oh what you are going, I rapidly took my hand inside the bra and touched her boob and it was so soft and small and one more thing that I love small boobs girl, she had a small nipple which I just touched and rubbed softly and squeeze her boobs gently, after that I removed her single cloth I found that she had wearied pink bra and panties, I removed her bra while hugging, she was saying stop! stop! also she was smiling it meaning she wanted to do this but this is giving her some nice feeling.
after I came down the bed and make lily sit on a stool and then I set between her legs and then I sided her pink panties to left with my left arm, it was my first time watching pussy in real life, I had just watched it in porn videos, it was a clear white pussy that has no hairs meaning she had shaved pussy and it was very pleasureful , I took out her panties from her legs she had closed her legs so that I could not give a look at it, a opened her legs with my hands and it barely opened , when it opened I quickly get a look it was so nice with a soft vibrant pinkish colour and more beautiful as it is shaved I touched the top of its entrance and then the bottom and touched and rubbed it gently for some time, she again started to close her legs I quickly opened her legs more and just give a kiss to her pussy, she give a sound oh, then I quickly sound that it isn't smelly found that she keep her pussy so cleaned
I quickly touched my tongue on her pussy, she vibrated and then I started to move my tongue and she feel a lot tickled and vibrating more as it was her first time too, I touched her boobs and licked her pussy , her whole pussy was vibrating and she was feeling good
then I make her sleep in bed I slept onto her and kissed her still for a bit , then I moved down and put my face between her boobs and touched them both with my hands and then licked them too, then I again moved down and just kissed her belly it was so slim and good, I again moved below and kissed the upper part of the pussy where her panties lies and moved my lips gently down and finally reached to her pussy, I then started to put my finger into her pussy and she was telling no don't do it in a funny way, I moved it inside slowly I had a smooth entry and after letting my finger in and out from her pussy 2 to 3 times I found her pussy started to produce lubricant meaning she wanted to do it too mentally, I increased my fingering speed , and she was producing sounds like oh, uh,. then I gently licked it and touched all her body parts, then I opened me pants and put my cock into her pussy I had slowed it to much as I don't know whether I or she does feel pain she stopped smiling and when I injected my cock further she started telling that it is burning a bit but it is acceptable she said, as soon as I put my cock in it to get lubricated, and to get it much smoother I put my saliva in there too then it got smooth and she said that she is feeling some strange as something is going inside her and coming out she said that I should put it more further so it get more comfortable, I put my cock further and also fasted the speed, she shouted oh , I tell her to make low noise as her parents would know about this, I change her position and again started putting it again and like this I don't it for half a hour and it was midnight and finally she got satisfied but I do not so I keep it on more, she stopped feeling horny as she got satisfied but I know that I should do same for myself too, she said to stop as she is not liking it any more and she produced more sounds as she started feeling little pain, I do in and out more fast and she started producing high sound too, I covered her mouth with my hand and said her that it will be just more around 2 to 3 minutes, after about 5 minutes I feel satisfied too she was like huh finally and smiled at me and said it was a good experience isn't it
I accepted it and the next day she finally went and also promised to both of us to keep it a secret and it wouldn't happen again and be best friends forever.
that is it for today see you all tomorrow.
bye...

My husband is divorcing me because of infidelity on my part. It happened many times throughout our marriage. But there were also other things that happened on his end that he is in full denial about but that i have witness proof on. He is really abusive and has caused us to be banned from resturants for disrupting the place by either yelling at my daughter causing her to cry being loud and agressive and trying to pick fights with those who intervened. Also in the past while i was pregnant during our anniversary we got in a fight and it got so heated that i didnt feel safe and jumped out of the car to run and he followed me down on the street corner me into walls and yelling at me. The police were called due to a passerbye seeing all this. Because i was already under cps investigation for my other children i lied to the police officer about what happened saying i was overly sensative and crying due to pregnancy horomones. I didnt want to lose right over my other kids who i was fighting for reunification for. Just recently we were involved with cps as well because he berated my 14 year old in the store for dressing inappopriately making her cry and shake and other customers in the store called the police. Today all day he and my daughter berated me by calling me crazy and psycho simply because i was having a reaction to my husband basically putting me down all day saying inappropriate things about me in front of our kids. I asked him to stop several times and he would not and even went as far as involving my daughter. In fact he bribed her while i left the table to go to the bathroom telling her that he would buy her a bike and they could live in a big house and she could do whatever she wanted if she chose to live with him. She knows that our financial situation during this divorce is brutual because i have been financially dependent on him for 14 years. She knows that if i tried to have custody over her and her siblings we wwould struggle so she is choosing to side with her dad because he has the money. Being they verbally came at me all day i was a mess i had my daughter telling me she didnt wanna live with me which i was devastated by. I had him making threats to me all day basically telling me that he is taking kids from me how im not a good mom this and that in front of our kids calling me a psycho calling me a bitch etc. Then while in my house i was sitting in my computer chair and i backed up my chair to get out of it accidently bumping it into my toddler who was behind the chair i didnt see him so my daughter said why are you hitting your kid. I said i didnt i pulled out my chair i didnt see him there and she goes no you just literally hit him with your chair. Her father then agreed to this as its something against me right. So then because i slammed the phone down on the desk i am apparently being violent? And i had the phone in my hand later because i was gonna call the police because i was feeling unsafe and he kept yelling at me not to call the cops so i threw the phone down in front of me and now him and my daughter are claiming that im throwing things at them. My daughter is also autistic she is only 14 and has other learning disorders. Also i called my mom today for some emotional support telling her everytthing that has been happening because he basically cut me off from seeing my family claiming that i cant bring my kids there because he is uncomfortable with my family. And i cant drive because while being in this marriage we never went about getting my license. Because i was told we couldnt afford it. I was also told that before we had kids that we agreed to me being a stay at home mom which he is now using against me because he claims that i never tried to or wanted to work when that was not the case. When my kids hit school age i talked about getting a job and he would tell me why are you going to do that because your part time job money wont mean much and wont really cover anything its better you stay home and take care of the kids instead of paying for daycare. but nope now he never said such things. He claims that i am some whore who used him financially for years when that wasnt the case we discussed me being a stay at home mom. There has been a manipulation pattern going on here for years and ive come to realize what it was. In the beginning of our relationship he basically love bombed me. We then get married and he starts being rude constantly pointing out my flaws telling me what i need to do better then leading on to him namecalling me everything you can think of and drinking. In front of our kids. Then he started causing fights with my family at family gatherings. Even to the point where he went after my 83 year old grandmother simply because she couldnt remember what she had done wrong years ago and was denying it all. The fight got heated and the cops were called i was threatened that if i sided with her that he was going to kick me out of the car with the kids. We drove to the police station and when the police officer was listening to what was going on he laughed saying is this for real then proceeded to ask me if my husband was mentally ok. My husband filed charged on an 83 year old women for basically pushing him away from her because he was yelling in her face he even went as far a filing a restraining order on her for him and our kids. He constantly told me my family didnt love me nor care about me and he told our kids the same thing. He claimed that because my family didnt call our house to speak to anyone that they dont care of love us when the fact of the matter was is that my family is to scared to call my home because of him. He is threatening to call the police on my because he and my daughter claimed that me pulling out my computer chair and accidently bumping it into my toddler coherses into me literally hitting him. He is also calling the cops on me because he claims that me throwing the phone to the floor was me throwing it at him. and me slamming the phone on a desk is violent. He claims i am a violent person because i wanted to call the police on him several times tonight. And my daughter is all siding with this because she knows he is the one who can financially provide for her more so over me. I have had dcf cases already while married to this man and though he blames it all on me alot of the report shows his abuse to many staff memebers and medical facilities. Even during tax time he berated the lady who was doing our taxes to the point where she called someone to complain and when he call them they told him he was banned from going there because the tax lady said he abused her while there. Right now i am highly scared for several reasons. One because my daughter is siding with him a creating outright lies about me hitting my todder and me throwing things at peoplle. She is also gonna go as far as saying she feels unsafe in our home all because he promised her some fancy life if she chose to stay with him. I am also scared because i have been financially dependent on this man for 14 years i have nothing to my name and i dont even drive. He likes to go around our house and take pictures of our house when the kids make a mess out of it claiming our house is to untidy for kids to be safe in and he is gonna claim i never clean the house when i have and i am sure my daughter will side with him on that too. All i do is try to get my kids to do chores and they dont listen or claim they will do it later. And my husband only ever helped by changing diapers getting bottles or taking out trash. There is so much more i can add to this but i dont want yall to read a whole book but what do you think i should do?

My experience as a patient at Cherry Hill Women’s Center NJ with a D&E abortion at 13w6d pregnant.
TLDR; very very kind staff, clean environment, professional clinic setup, 4 hour process, overall great experience as a patient.
My backstory: I’m over 30, married for over 10 years and have never had a pregnancy before. I have always been told by my doctors that i would never be able to get pregnant. I’m on multiple medications that can cause severe birth defects and i was not aware that i was pregnant until i was 12w5d. I had no idea how far along i may have been because i didn’t note any pregnancy symptoms except for tender nipples and vomiting a week prior to taking a test. I have always had a very inconsistent period and had frequent spotting on a regular basis. I had an US done & measured at 13w0days & was able to schedule this procedure for 6 days later so this abortion was done at 13w6days.
Emotionally this was very hard for me. I reconciled the fact that i would never be pregnant as a very young teenager. My husband and I decided not to pursue having children at the very beginning of our relationship and he still does not want to be a father. Initially I was very afraid to tell him that i was pregnant because i was afraid that him knowing i was pregnant would change his feelings about having children and that he would hate me for taking this away from him. I’m very fortunate in that he was resolute in his decision to not have children and he’s been absolutely incredible through this whole process. He said he would support me if i wanted to keep it but my medical reasons for wanting to terminate were valid and he was in full agreement that life is hard enough and intentionally bringing a deformed/disabled child into the world when life is already so hard just wasn’t the choice for us. He has been my absolute rock through all of this.
I did a lot of research prior to my appointment and I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of bad reviews on google that had me extremely nervous, making me feel like i was going to be walking into a back alley abortion and i was terrified that i wouldn’t be able to bring my husband with me for this whole experience. There is so much anti abortion propaganda out there and there are a lot of videos designed to make you feel like you are a bad person for “murdering babies” and trying to scare you out of going forward with the procedure, but if this procedure is the right decision for you, this place is the right choice to go to. Everyone is kind and professional and understanding. Not once was i made to feel like i was a bad person or making the wrong decision. I was met with understanding and support every step of the way. It is completely normal to be scared or emotional going into this. I have been a healthcare professional for over 10 years and am very familiar with preop/post op procedures and patient care and i was still very scared going into this appointment.
Scheduling experience: I used their online appointment request tool on a Sunday and Monday afternoon i got a text with a link for a hipaa compliant chat. I chatted with a very nice lady who was able to schedule me for the following Saturday. I wasn’t given any information other than to not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and to be at the clinic at 8am Saturday. No one called, texted, or emailed any further instructions after that chat communication.
This is where my feedback for them to improve comes in. They really need to make it clear what to expect the day of the appointment: that we will not be able to have a support person come in with us because only the patients can be in the waiting room for safety purposes. They should be highlighting the process of the day with the multiple back and forth trips from the waiting room to the back and the different steps to expect. It would have been nice to know i would do paper work then wait then US and blood and vitals then wait then nurse for the history & going over the procedure then wait then the payment then wait then come to the back for preop and talk to the doctor then wait in preop then the operative area for the procedure then what to expect for the post op experience.
Clinic experience: Upon arriving to the clinic, the protesters on the front sidewalk were SO very nice to make the driveway more visible. -___- Unfortunately nothing can be done to remove them from a public walkway. The security guard comes to the door when you pull in to ensure you arrive inside safely. Please don’t let them deter you, don’t even look at them or acknowledge them.
I was greeted by the very kind security guard who had my escort sign me in and then i entered the office by myself.
The receptionist was very kind and provided me with my paperwork to fill out. The office was clean and quiet. After about 45 minutes i was taken back by a very kind employee (sweetest kindest human being ever with such a calming energy) who did my ultrasound and vital signs and did a finger stick to check my hemoglobin level and rH factor of my blood. I was then taken back to the waiting room for the next step.
30 minutes later i was taken back to speak with the nurse to go over my health history, medications, birth control options, and the procedure. The financial planner then came in and took my payment (we paid cash $750 for the sedated D&E, $65 for the depo shot we are fortunate to have the income to cover the costs but they do offer financial assistance ask the scheduler about it if you need it)& i was escorted back to the waiting room.
20 minutes later i was taken back by the first employee (the literal angel on earth, so so kind) who did my ultrasound earlier to talk with the Dr, who was also very nice, and i was given cytotec to place between my gums and cheeks to soften my cervix and prepare me for the procedure. I was then taken to the preop/postop area to put a gown cap and booties on, they let you keep your own socks on and it’s chilly in there so i recommend doing it. They put me in a recliner chair with a blanket and then about an hour after getting the cytotec, the nurse started an iv & gave me zofran since i was feeling nauseous. At this point i was having weird stretching bloating feelings in my uterus area with moderate to strong cramps, which i assume was the cytotec softening everything & dilating my cervix. I noted the post op nurses were very kind to the patients the whole time and met the loopy antics of the other women waking up from sedation with good humor and kindness.
The operative nurses wheeled me back to the procedure room in the recliner chair I was in and I was taken in to the procedure room and met the anesthetist and operative nurses. They helped me get situated on the procedure table and then the next thing i remembered was waking up in my recliner chair in the preop/post op area. They took me back at 10:45 and i woke up in the post op area at 11:12.
The post op nurse said i stood and sat in the chair on my own from the table to in the operative area as they don’t lift anyone there but i don’t remember anything between being positioned on the procedure table before the procedure and waking up in the chair in post op. The post op nurse gave me the depo provera shot i previously decided to take with the first nurse and helped me to the bathroom to get changed back into my clothes.
I felt moderate cramping, similar to period cramps on a heavy flow day, and had a good amount of bleeding and small clots present in the toilet. I came prepared and brought female pull-ups and pads so i put those on. My husband arrived to pick me up and the post op nurse gave me a 1x dose of antibiotics to prevent infections and went over discharge education. They escorted me out to the car and i was on my way home. I took 800mg Motrin as soon as i got in the car.
They had the security guard still at the front door and then a clinic escort in the parking lot keeping the protesters off the property and on the sidewalk.
I arrived for my 8:00 appointment at 7:30 and was in the car on my way home by 11:30. By the time we got close to our home 45 minutes later the Motrin had me feeling well enough to have a meal with my husband at the local diner.
It’s now 8 hours after we got home and i feel mild cramping after taking another dose of 800 mg Motrin. I would say the discharge is similar to a heavy flow day with small clots. My lower abdomen is visibly bloated but not very tender to the touch. (Until my husband wasn’t thinking and set Wawa bags with a half gallon of milk in them on my lap/lower abdomen -_-) I have a weighted heating pad and I’ve had it laying across my abdomen since i got home and it’s been so helpful for the mild to moderate discomfort I’ve had.
Timeline of events:
0730 arrived, security very nice, receptionist very nice 0815- taken back for US, VS, finger stick. Ultrasound tech very nice. 0845- nurse - history, procedure review, birth control planning. very nice and informative 0900- financial counselor very nice 0920- brought back by first US tech to see the Dr, cytotec inserted in cheeks 0930 changed into gown put in preop recliner chair, curtain dividers 1000- preop nurses very kind, playing fun music, joking with patients during their postop grogginess 1030- iv inserted 1045- took back to the procedure room 1112- procedure done, in recovery, got depo shot, iv taken out, got dressed 1130- discharge education and went home. Moderate period like cramping.
Recommendations: - ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable, they will take the time to answer them - It’s normal to be nervous but you don’t need to be afraid to come here. Everyone was kind, understanding, and professional there. - Your decision is the right decision. Period. No one else gets to make it for you. - It doesn’t matter if you are young or older, single or married, have no children or already have 10 children, this decision is yours and your rights - Hydrate well the night before. I made it a point to drink several liquid IV’s late the night before knowing i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight. It will be very hard for the nurses to get an IV in your vein if you are very dehydrated, the more you drink the night before, the better your veins will be. - Bring your own pads or even female pull ups whatever you prefer. They do supply you pads but they’re the big huge thick ones that most people hate. - Have Motrin ready to take as soon as you’re done. - Get a heating pad for afterwards it really is soothing. - Walk as much as you can, it helps with the pain and swelling and helps get the clots out. - Firmly massage over your uterus area it will help get the clots out and help your uterus shrink back down to size faster. - If your BMI is over 40 they won’t be able to do an asleep abortion there since they don’t have advanced airway management there. You’re a higher risk of respiratory depression during sedation when you’re overweight. I wasn’t aware of this until i talked with the history nurse. Luckily i was right at 40 and the anesthetist cleared me. - If you need to be sedated they will make you have someone sign you in and sign you out. But they can’t come inside and wait with you. You cannot drive yourself. - They’re going to tell you not to put anything in your vagina for 1 week post op- no tampons, menstrual cups, no sex, nothing internally placed. Also no swimming or sitting in a bathtub for a week. This is all to prevent infection. You want the drainage to drain and not build up bacteria inside you. - You are going to be more fertile after the procedure. It can take 4 weeks to get your period again, you can get pregnant before you have a period, use birth control! They don’t do IUD insertions there so consider getting birth control pills or the depo shot while you’re there.