This week I wrote an autobiographical account of my history with sleep paralysis, RLS, and hypnagogic hallucinations.
I was not sure where to share it. I added it and deleted it from a few subs. The only place it ended up was the creative writing sub, though.
And this appears to be the right spot! There are several themes but the hypnagogia is the focus. So it's quite long and probably no one reads it and that's fine. I just wanted to find somewhere to put it in case my experience could benefit someone.
⚠️ ⚠️ WARNING first part is scary and a bit gory... ⚠️ ⚠️

Childhood

The first time that I encountered sleep paralysis was when I was nine or ten. I woke up screaming, my mind gripped with the sensation of searing pain radiating from my left big toe. Though my mouth wasn't moving, I could hear my own blood-curdling cries, echoing through the darkness. An eerie orange glow spilled into the room, illuminating a sinister cauldron at the base of my bed, around which stood three squat witches. Their dark, smoky faces shifted and morphed constantly, eyes glowing red like embers recessed deeply into the shadows of their crawling flesh, jagged teeth gnashing along with their discordant laughter as roaches crawled from their mouths and disappeared into their black straw hair.
Each witch held their own dainty knife and fork, shaking along with their trembling bony hands, and one was slicing expertly down the center of my big toe with the impossibly sharp blade of their knife. I struggled to move my arms and legs, feeling as though I had freedom of movement, but my physical body remained paralyzed. Unfathomable terror washed over me as I realized that I couldn't scream for help; my mom wouldn't hear me, and I was powerless to stop these witches from feasting on my toes.
I lay there, unable to break free from the oppressive paralysis, forced to endure the excruciating pain as my toes were sliced off and consumed. The air buzzed with the witches' terrifying, joyous laughter, as if they delighted in my agony more than the taste of my flesh. Eventually, my body in a full state of terror jarred itself awake, heart beating more wildly than I had ever experienced, my lungs struggling to gasp more than the tiniest breath. After perhaps a full minute of gathering myself, I drew a deep breath and screamed into the night.
My mother came, of course, but was unable to understand the depth and terror of my experience. Her own reality did not include anything close; for her, it was an exaggeration born of childhood fear, and she became exasperated after a time with my refusal to admit that it was a dream, despite being an extremely caring parent.
The witches appeared to me several times between the ages of 10 and 15, their ghastly faces returning to torment me with each episode of sleep paralysis. Every time, I would be trapped in that terrifying limbo, my body frozen while my mind drowned itself in screams of agony and horror. I knew that they would feast on my toes, the slicing of their knives relentless, inexorable. They would smack their lips and toast each other with my blood-covered flesh as I watched.
During those years, restless legs syndrome (RLS) also began to plague my nights. As soon as I began to drift off to sleep, a discomfort would arise in my legs, like there was a swarm of fat round beetles exploring, searching for an exit. A quick kick would settle it down, but it would rise again in a cycle of building tension, acutely uncomfortable climax, and brief relief of a second or two would follow before it began again. My mother, again meaning well but busy and unfamiliar with RLS, told me it was leg cramps and made me eat more banannas. This didn't help.
It became an increasing problem, stealing precious sleep that my young body needed to thrive. The frustration of RLS merged with the terror of a potential visit from the witches. Without medication, I would lose entire nights to the relentless discomfort.
By the age of 15, the sleep paralysis episodes had occurred at least 10 times, each leaving me with the gut-wrenching memory of being eaten alive that I would carry all the next day in my gut like a sack of bricks. As I lay sleeping, every single night, I wondered if they would visit, and braced myself for an encounter.

Early adulthood:

I can't remember how many times the witches visited before I finally stopped panicking. It was after countless God awful nights when I finally accepted that no matter how terrifying or painful the ordeal felt, I would be whole once it was over. I had survived the agony a hundred times before and could endure it again. One night, when the eerie glow of the cauldron illuminated their shifting faces, I felt a calm settle over me. I saw the witches, but for the first time, I wasn't afraid.
They noticed my defiance, their laughter fading into an uneasy silence. Without fanfare, they stood up, collected their cauldron, and retreated into the darkness of my room. Though I still saw them occasionally at the foot of my bed, they became more present than threatening. Sometimes, at the start of an episode, they'd appear briefly before disappearing altogether. They had become inconsequential, and I couldn't even be sure if they were there half the time.
In my early 20s, I discovered that I could almost guarantee a bout of sleep paralysis simply by sleeping during the day. At first, nothing particularly unusual happened, but the paralysis always returned whenever I dozed off, particularly between the hours of 11am and 2pm. I was often sleeping during the day because by then, the restless legs syndrome (RLS) had grown so severe that many nights passed without sleep at all. My body felt like it was full of angry snakes now instead of beetles, desperate to escape. The sensation soon crept upward from my legs to my arms. The cycles of build up, climax, and agonizly brief relief increased in frequency and magnitude. I would often resort to sitting in the shower, flipping the water from icy cold to scalding hot all night, simply to keep myself alert enough to avoid the twitching and spasming until the blessed relief of dawn arrived.
With the daytime paralysis came a variety of hallucinations. Sometimes the witches stood at the foot of my bed, other times they'd disappear, leaving behind benign apparitions like tickling gnomes. There was nothing threatening about these visions, and I began to find a strange sense of comfort in them. I would relax into a dark place where I felt my own energy burning like a sun, present but without physical form. In this state, I felt euphoric, fully aware yet separate from myself. I started taking naps during the day and eagerly anticipated this odd experience.
Yet at night, my sleep remained troubled as RLS tormented me. Eventually, I began taking ropinirole to manage the symptoms, and it brought much-needed relief, helping me reclaim my nights and giving me several years of mostly not worrying about RLS unless I forgot to take my medicine, or the odd night where it bothered me but was still less severe.

New experiences:

I spent several years relishing those euphoric moments of peace, where I could feel the pure energy of being alive without a personal history or identity. In those moments, everything else faded away, and all that remained was a brilliant, infinite energy. My waking life was absorbed by study of comtemporary and historical teachings of non-duality, and with my family and progressing my career as a software developer. I was absorbing Eckhart Tolle and Gautama, Meister Eckhart and Seuhn Sang and integrating their teachings into my daily life. The feeling inside of me that reality ultimately made no sense had found an expression, and I dug in every waking moment for a clue as to the true nature of experience. Given this context, I especially looked forward to and found solace in the experience of being impersonal, boundless energy.
In my late 20s, I also experienced a new type of sleep paralysis hallucination. One day it began that there were no visions or hallucinations; instead, I simply lay in a state of paralysis, aware of the room as a darkened and monochrome version of itself. I entertained myself by trying to move my arms and legs against the paralysis, and developed the idea that I had two bodies; my physical body lay on the bed, while my energetic body struggled and flailed. It was like my energy body could move separately, creating a phantom limb sensation. I felt my energy arms and legs extend out, yet my physical body lay still. As my energy body reached further from my physical self, it would snap back as if held by a rubber band.
Intrigued, I began experimenting with this phenomenon, managing to build enough momentum to "pop" out of my body one afternoon. Suddenly, I found myself looking down at my own sleeping form, resting on my back and breathing gently beside my wife, who was playing a game (probably Candy Crush) on her phone in the bed. It was surreal, and I wasn't sure whether I was hallucinating or truly perceiving my own body from a different perspective. Regardless, it was a revelation, and I felt a new sense of exploration as I gazed down at myself.
That first time, I found myself drifting through the house, checking on my two young stepdaughters as they slept. I had recently married, and it was a quiet weekend afternoon with everyone napping peacefully. Once satisfied, I ventured outside, where I took to the sky and flew around the neighborhood, spying on my neighbors. Though it felt like I was limited in speed, I seemingly had no constraints on the continuity of this hallucination. Everything appeared as a perfect physical representation of Earth, and I could travel without interruption.
The landscape was strikingly accurate, but it appeared in monochrome hues — grays, blacks, and whites — with no bright colors. Letters and numbers were unreadable, reduced to blurred nonsense. Despite these distortions, the sensation of soaring above the rolling hills and rooftops was pure euphoria. I sped along at hundreds of miles per hour, basking in the freedom of movement, and immersed in the stunning view that stretched out below me. There did seem to be some sort of very generous limit to how far I could travel, but I thoroughly explored within the boundaries for hundreds of miles around my home.
Over the years into my early 30s, I tried to pursue this opportunity of flight and exploration every chance I could. But during that time, my restless legs syndrome also became more relentless. In the past, no matter how agonizing the night had been, dawn would bring relief like a cold bath washing over me. I would sit outside and watch the sunrise, and the sensation of snakes slithering through my body would finally calm down, perhaps due to circadian rhythms and dopamine regulation. The cycles now began to climax in totally involuntary movement, spasms that caused me to tense my whole body and draw in a sharp breath every time. It would be 5 seconds of rapid buildup, spasm, a second or two of relief, repeat.
Eventually, even the dawn failed to provide respite, and I struggled during night or day whenever I relaxed too long or became even a bit drowsy. Napping became impossible, depriving me of the euphoric dreams I had learned to look forward to. I switched from ropinirole to pramipexole, hoping for relief. The medication helped me sleep five or six hours a night on good nights, but I still missed one or two nights of sleep entirely each week and rarely could nap during the day, because I took the medicine only a couple hours before bed.
Even though my restless legs syndrome worsened, one out of every ten times, I'd still manage to avoid twitching and drift into that state of peaceful paralysis during the day when I dozed off involuntarily. I gradually lost interest in pursuing out-of-body travel and instead sought every time the burning energy of the sun inside of me — the sensation of being infinitely powerful and formless simultaneously. I would retreat into this boundless feeling whenever I had the opportunity.
During these rare occasions when I could sleep during the day, I stumbled across a third type of experience. It felt like I was being sucked into space at impossible speeds, zooming past the planets of our solar system and beyond until I reached a darker patch of space. This spot seemed like a vast, corrugated sewer pipe that swallowed me whole. I rocketed through the universe, traveling at what could only be the speed of light. Eventually, I would break into the atmosphere of some unknown world, drifting down to its surface sometimes, others crashing painfully into terrain. Sometimes, I would hear a loud sound like an explosion in mid travel, and suddenly aterialize on another distant world without any sort of entrace.
These journeys were exhilarating, and each new landscape presented a mystery, revealing worlds unlike anything I'd ever seen.

The Traveling Years:

One of the first journeys I had involved zipping through space before drifting down through a hole in the top of a greenhouse. The world was painted in shades of orange and brown, its dirt swirling in powerful winds like clay cyclones. The greenhouse itself was dirty and grimy, almost opaque with crusted dirt, and filled with dense green plants — ivy and other dark green foliage that covered every inch inside. Outside, the orange sky churned with the swirling clay, making visibility nearly impossible.
I made my way down a ladder and emerged outside, where I found a man and a boy standing beside a white pinto horse. They both wore hardened leather over rough potato sack-like clothing, their long hair dotted with bone jewelry, their noses and eyebrows profusely pierced with other fragments of bone adorned with feathers. The man seemed to be instructing the boy on something to do with the horse. I approached them cautiously, fully aware of my lucid dreaming state and retaining all my memories, reasoning, and thoughts. Everything about the scene was vivid, from the clay dust swirling around to the squinting struggle to see in the wind.
Unlike the man and the boy, I had no long hair, no mouth covering, and no leather visor shielding my face from the swirling clay-dust. As I tried to speak, it seemed like they couldn’t hear me, and I wondered if I might be invisible to them. Unconcerned, I reached out to pat the horse on its nose, but before I could make contact, the man swiftly drew a long knife from his belt and stabbed me. He struck again, and the intense pain and feeling of my own scalding hot blood streaming down my pants legs snapped me awake.
Not long after my experience in the greenhouse, I found myself learning more about the worlds I could explore, though the opportunities remained rare. One day, I was transported to a beautiful blue tropical world, crashing into the dunes of a pristine white beach. There, I encountered three women, each towering over me at seven or eight feet tall. Their long black hair framed their pale faces, with blood-red lips striking against their alabaster skin. But what stood out most were their fingernails — long and crimson, curling back upon themselves dozens of times like spiraling ribbons. They were two or three feet in length and added a surreal menace to their presence.
They asked me my name and the name of my father, along with other odd questions, and seemed absolutely intriqued with me. There was a certain sort of heavy molasses quality to their voices that was more than sound and impossible to describe. It had the effect of making me feel drowsy and stupid and slow to move.
As I stood there, they began touching me with their nails, tracing them across my body in elaborate, almost ritualistic patterns. I felt my energy drain with every stroke, a profound exhaustion seeping into my core. The sensation was so intense that I woke up feeling completely drained, my limbs heavy and my spirit sapped.
Another time, I appeared without explanation after my space travel in a cavern brimming with glowing fungi and luminescent crystals. I wasn't myself in this world but instead had taken the place of someone else. My father stood beside me, guiding me through the luminous landscape. He taught me how to identify the bizarre and fascinating flora surrounding us — lessons that etched themselves into my mind and last to this day despite the surreal, made-up nature of this world. The glowing crystals and fungi cast eerie shadows across the cavern walls as my father explained the properties and uses of each.
In real life, these experiences would last for about five to eight minutes, but in the dream realm, the passage of time was different. What seemed like mere minutes could stretch into hours or even days, and in rare cases, the dreams spanned much longer.

RLS becomes terrible:

I had a new busy career, an infant daughter, two active growing stepdaughters, and a wife with a hectic job, and I struggled hard through the years between 35 and 39. Each night was pure torture, as restless leg syndrome robbed me of sleep. Days of sleep deprivation left me barely functioning, often teetering on the edge of collapse while the disease gnawed away. The unrelenting discomfort made it impossible to fall asleep, even as my body craved rest. I had no choice but to continue, as I had yet to find a doctor that knew how to move past the ropinirole and pramipexole stage of treatment, and these medicines had almost entirely ceased to be effective for me. My love for my family drove me to conceal the intense effort that day to day living had become. I managed to keep up with my career by farming a prescription for Adderall. I don't have ADHD, so it had the effect on me of methamphetamine and allowed me to push through the God awful existence that life had become.
The toll became overwhelming. I couldn't escape the agony, even after days of desperate attempts to sleep. More than once, I ended up in the emergency room after going four or five nights without sleep. For some people, this will seem like an exaggeration; I assure you, it is not. I would be nonsensical, having conversations with people tha weren't in the room, drifting in and out of intense 1 second dreams before snapping awake with painful spasms. At the hospital, they would give me percocet, and the painkillers provided brief reprieve from RLS for some reason, allowing me one solid night’s sleep, but the relentless cycle quickly resumed, leaving me struggling once again.
Eventually, I found a neurologist who prescribed Neupro patches that provided temporary relief. For a few months, I managed to sleep more consistently, but the patches quickly lost their effectiveness. It wasn't until I added methadone to the treatment that I finally found more lasting relief.
During those difficult years, I immersed myself in non-dual philosophy. In that crucible of suffering, my conviction solidified: my true nature was more aligned with the energy hallucinations I experienced than with a body made of skin, bone, and brain. That transcendent energy, more real and enduring than the physical form I occupied, became my identity in daily life, watching peacefully as my body and brain navigated the situational complexity of life.
Approaching my 40th birthday, I found that I could sleep at night and dream during the day. My life was in good shape, I lost 60 pounds without effort, and I felt fundamentally and imperturbably peaceful. Suddenly, life was in the palm of my hands, every moment pristine and still and perfect. I felt weightless without the burden of needing to endure trauma every night.
Most importantly to this story, I worked from home and could nap on my lunch breaks.

Rapid learning through iteration:

Rarely, I would fail to nap at all due to RLS. Sometimes I would simply doze off and wake up 10 minutes later to my cell phone alarm. But three out of five times, I would travel.
I visited dozens of worlds in a matter of a few short months and quickly was able to confirm some rules that I had suspected were true from my previous adventures.
One rule is that no one I know in real life ever shows up in the travelling dreams. No matter the place or circumstance or strange beings that I encountered, there was never a familiar face.
Another rule was that no dream person ever had a name or a father. The absence of both seemed to be an unspoken universal truth among these dream world inhabitants. Once I had internalized the significance of this, I began introducing myself to most beings that I encountered as "John, son of Michael." It left a strong impression. My name and lineage seemed to set me apart, bestowing an almost mythical quality upon me that earned me a peculiar reverence among all that I met. This knowledge became the key to navigating the dream worlds with confidence and a consistent purpose of discovery.
I learned accidentally of a unique ability during my travels: a form of telekenesis that allowed me to project force from the palms of my hands. This development led to many episodes of paralysis spent ignoring exploration and instead hilariously and painfully attempting to master this ability for the purpose of travel. Over time, I refined my skill, learning to fly much like Iron Man, but solely through the focused propulsion from my hands. Without stabilization from my feet, I had to carefully control the angle of projection and the amount of force applied to control my trajectory and speed.
Mastering this ability took significant practice, but eventually, I could navigate obstacles with ease and travel great distances in short amounts of time. I also no longer crash landed, thankfully. Importantly, I could harness this power to overcome any threatening beings that I encountered. Previously, my best option was to hide or flee, and that did not always work out. Now I had this amazing sense of fearlessness and confidence that simply cannot be rivaled by real world experience. Every time I heard the buzzing sounds and felt the WUM WUM WUM of energy as I prepared to launch into space, I embraced the journey with eager anticipation, confident in my ability to protect myself and learn about whatever strange world awaited me.

To Present Day:

As I grew more confident in my ability to travel almost at will, I began to incorporate spirituality into my experimentation. One day, on a whim, I expressed to the universe that if there were a being that had my best interests at heart and loved me fully, then I gave them permission to guide my dreams and lead me to greater truths, even if they were uncomfortable. This openness led to a new experience immediately, and I began to preface many of my journeys with a similar, simple prayer.
That first time, I fell down instead of up -- into myself, into the infinite dimensionless darkness where I could spin and burn and bathe in the euphoric sense of my own eternal nature. But my peace was quickly interrupted by an intense feeling of pressure at the base of my spine, though I couldn't have pinpointed where the body was that the spine inhabited. Very, very slowly, with a CRUNCHA CRUNCHA CRUNCHA noise for every milimeter of ground gained, it crawled upwards towards my head.
As it climbed, the energy below it intensified, growing exponenentially as the surface area covered grew. It wasn't painful, exactly, but it was terrifyingly intense. That first time, I managed to stay calm long enough for it to reach my shoulder blades before it became unbearably frightening and I jerked myself out of it, sure that I would die if I allowed it to continue upward. Over the last few months I have vowed to myself that I would endure any level of discomfort to see what happens at the end, but I keep chickening out. I have let it go as far as the base of my skull, at which time my head started vibrating so much that I could feel my teeth chattering violently even in my paralysis.
Another time recently when I made this prayer, I went to space as usual, but when I entered the atmosphere of a lush Earth-like world, my telekenesis failed me for the first time ever. Instead, I was pulled like in a slow tractor beam down beneath the perfectly round canopy of a giant, unfamiliar kind of tree. I felt a great sense of calm and peace and simply meditated there for quite some time, maybe 9 or 10 hours of relative time, before I heard a voice from behind the tree.
The man who stepped out from there had his face hidden in shadows. He wore a long dusty leather coat and a huge cowboy hat that shrouded him. As I write this, I find that I am not yet prepared to write about what he said to me, or how I responded. But when we had spoken, he walked solemnly over to me and lay his hand upon my head, and I jerked awake in a state of perfect bliss, despite some conflicting emotions surrounding our conversation. I call him Cowboy Hat Man, and maybe I will write more about him later.
A third time with the prayer, right before I sped off to my normal adventures, I felt a cat jump onto my bed and snuggle against my left leg, purring. It curled up there, and I assumed that it was my actual cat in real life, although it would be very uncharacteristic for him. I actually thought to myself, "Wow, I guess Buddy Socks is my spirit guide today." However, when I awoke, I realized that my door was shut and the cat was not in the room. On that trip, I went to a world that was reminiscent in quality perhaps to 15th century Europe, except on a world where the surface was far more underneath water than on Earth.
I followed the invisible cat to an old man and asked him, "Do you know the truth?" He answered, "No." I followed the invisble cat to young boy and asked him, "Do you know the truth?" He also answered, "No." It was an odd one, really.
Every time I do this, I am setting an alarm for ten minutes. Sometimes the dreams last days in relative time, but I have never yet failed to wake up before that alarm goes off.

Present Day (like seriously earlier this week is what me want to write this):

I lay down eagerly for my lunch break nap, hoping to avoid the disappointment of an off-day. I flew into the atmosphere of a world that seemed to made of rock, with nothing growing on the surface. However, I caught glimpse on the surface of a bright spot, and when I descended, I found that somehow there was a relatively thin crust of sorts around a hollow inside-world.
I lowered myself slowly through a great opening in that crust, down into a lush jungle. It was beautiful but uncomfortably humid, and I quickly found a cool and dry cavern complex to explore rather than dealing with sweat and unfamiliar insects.
As I navigated through the cavern system, able to see somehow with dim light despite no obvious light source at times, I broke out into a very large open cave with a huge exit out into the jungle. I saw that it was dawn and realized that I had spent the night, however long it was on this world, in the caves.
Suddenly, my four year old daughter, Curly, with her naturally bleach-highlighted rings of long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, drifted slowly over my left shoulder and out towards the exit. She moved at a brisk adult walking pace, her back to the cave opening, her expression curious yet slightly concerned. She called out, "Dada?" in a tone that suggested wonder and slight confusion, but no real alarm in the presence of her father.
Reacting instantly, feeling my gut clench solid into a fist of rock, I used my telekinesis to close the gap between us and gathered her into my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and settled her butt onto my forearm, a ritual that we have practiced every day of her life. The force gripping her evaporated instantly, and suddenly, my darling girl was there in my arms, as real as any physical embrace. I could feel the tickle of her hair on my neck, the beautiful warmth of her skin, and was enveloped in her familiar scent.
Initially, I was filled with white hot rage, fueled by my instinctive reaction to the thought that some idiotic dream world inhabitant had decided to mess with my family and harm or kidnap her. But as I held her and she nuzzled her nose into my neck, the anger gave way to sheer amazement. For the first time in a decade of navigating these dreamscapes, someone that I knew from my waking life had entered the dream. This was a rule-defying moment that really rocked me, a serious breach of the established norms of these experiences.
A group of maybe 8 or 10 small winged goblins flew down from out of sight above the top lip of the exit and fluttered into the room, laughing in a very non-threatening way. They radiated a sense of innocent mischief, and my fear and anger subsided and gave way to annoyance. I whipped my right hand out and blasted a huge hole in the cavern wall to my right, startling Curly into a yelp. Unphased, I raised my voice and demanded, "Who is your King? I am John, son of Michael, and this is my daughter and she WILL NOT BE TOUCHED AGAIN."
The goblins scattered, their merriment giving way to concern that I might blast them into dust. Behind me, a deep chuckle seemed to rise from the ground itself. A voice echoed in the cavern, neither kind or cruel, full of what felt like wisdom, though that doesn't make sense in the waking world.
It spoke: "I am Eloxman, and I am their King." At hearing him announce his name, my head whipped around in the dream and in real life so hard that I woke immediately with a sprained neck that is still bothering me. I looked at my phone and saw that there were two minutes and fourteen seconds remaining in my ten minute window. I lay on the couch in shocked disbelief: Curly was in my dream, and someone had a name. As I replayed it over and over in my head, I realized that Eloxman was still speaking. I think he may have been preparing to provide the name of his father.

The End:

Sorry, that's actually it. I am going to just see if this continues somehow, but if it does not, then I might get creative with it and make up my own ending. I hope that you enjoyed this if you read this far!

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My sister invited the family on Sunday for a lunch in her backyard. I have a 2 yo Samoyed who is gentle and trained puppy. He is very sociable and loves everyone (worst guard dog ever lol). When we are invited to our parents, I always bring him and everything is fine.
I asked her if I could bring him this Sunday and she said she’d rather not because she did some gardening (he doesn’t dig but I know it’ s an excuse because she just doesn’t want him to come).
So now I am hesitating about going there. I have always welcomed her 4 kids to my house even though they were loud and put some mess.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Happy-Personality528 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 8th May 2024
Update - 9th May 2024
​
AITAH for resenting my wife for not believing my side of story
​
I (M, 46) have been married to my wife, Heather (F, 45), for 18 years. We have two kids (16F and 14M). We work for the same company but in different departments. She works on a different floor of our building. We recently hired a new employee, Sarah (F, 30). I helped her a lot with her training and even prepared a guide for her so she could catch up on the new role quickly. I told her she could drop by anytime if she had a question. She kept coming to my desk to chitchat.
Even my coworker, Chris, who shares an office with me, noticed. I thought she was new and lonely, so not a big deal. She asked me to go out for lunch with her. I laughed and joked, asking if Chris wanted to join us for lunch. Then Sarah looked at me and said no, she meant just us to talk, plus she wanted to buy me lunch because I had been so nice to her. Chris gave me a look. I told her she didn\u2019t have to and that I was just doing my job. She insisted, and I agreed.
During lunch, she started rubbing my hand. I moved my hand and changed the topic to my wife, bringing her up repeatedly. She eventually said she found me attractive and wanted to be more than friends, suggesting we start with friends with benefits and see where it goes.
She said she thought I wasn't happy in my marriage because I was having lunch with her and laughing, while she never saw me having lunch with my wife. I told her I was married and wanted to keep our friendship professional. She didn\u2019t like my reply and became quiet. I apologized, but she said it was all good. I paid the bill for both of us since it was so awkward, and we went back to work.
I received a letter from HR telling me they needed to talk to me because Sarah filed a complaint. She said I had asked her out for lunch, been inappropriate and handsy, and even pressured her to have sex with me, but she left. I was floored. Luckily, my coworker Chris can confirm my side of the story. I immediately told my wife the whole thing, and she got furious at me.
She said she believed Sarah's side because she stands by the victim. I told her Sarah was lying! Chris can confirm she invited me! Also, I wasn\u2019t inappropriate; I didn\u2019t touch her and turned her down. My wife rolled her eyes and said Sarah is a gorgeous woman much younger than me, implying I took advantage of her. I was so annoyed! I have always been faithful to her. How could she possibly think of me like this?
Luckily, the HR issue was resolved, and I just have to do some training. I asked to move to another team so I won\u2019t be working with Sarah anymore. Am I the asshole for resenting my wife for not believing my side? For taking her side without any proof? I basically barely talked to my wife since the incident.
​
Comments
​
MatataKakiba
This will get lost in the sea of comments, but I'm wondering if the restaurant has a video recording of the dining area. You could prove you're telling the truth really quickly with a recording of she getting handsy and you pulling away.

OOP: I\u2019m gonna check with the restaurant. It\u2019s a small cafe/restaurant within walking distance of our office

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KatersHaters
*Speaking of intel, I wonder what her behavioperformance was like at her previous job(s). The fact she perused you and then reported false accusations to HR this quickly into a new job suggests a level of \u201cdiabolical confidence\u201d imo. Or reckless immaturity I guess. Regardless, something ain\u2019t right and I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if this was some kind of MO for her. I don\u2019t know how you could (safely) investigate her past but *something to think about.
​
Certain-Thought531
NTA she was attracted to you, made her move and failed.
Then she retaliated and made the 1st move to cover herself before you can do anything.
Also i'd question my marriage if I were you, if your own spouse cant trust you then she's not a partner.
​
narfle_the_garthak
This.
You weren't exactly smart about accepting lunch.
Yes there is a double standard and it sucks.
It also sucks that now your reputation will suffer at work because there are people who won't believe the truth just because.
It sucks that your wife sees you as a possible predator
You should definitely question your marriage and maybe do some counseling to see if this can be fixed or if the marriage needs to end.
You should also file a complaint with HR and see about getting this woman moved to a different depth or let go. You might not be the only person she tries this with.
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 day later
​
Quick update : I talked to my wife last night and she said \u201c I really don\u2019t buy it that a younger good looking employee come on to you \u201c. I asked her have I ever been inappropriate with any woman ? Have I ever been handsy ?
She said \u201cno but you jokes around a lot so you probably made some dumb jokes or something and offended her . I swear you are autistic ! You can\u2019t even get basic social cues. As for being handsy? Who knows ? \u201c. I lost it ! I said WHO KNOWS ? you should know! I expected more from you .
She rolled her eyes and went to sleep. As for HR: it was my request to change team . I can\u2019t work with Sarah or see her everyday . I\u2019m so tempted to yell at her and say WTF is wrong with you ! Neither of us got fired since there was no evidence so HR just gave me the talk ( I have no idea if Sarah has to do the training or what happened to her ).
I went to the restaurant to see if there is a footage but owner wasn\u2019t there . I\u2019ll try again today . My mental health is a mess. My coworker, Chris , suggested to take time off to talk to a therapist and a lawyer . I might do that
​
Comments
​
mak_zaddy
Wow. Your wife sucks. I really hope the restaurant has video footage they can share with you.

OOP: My life does suck ! I went from happily married with a good job to office creep and who Is this person I\u2019m married to ? If she thinks I\u2019m too stupid , too ugly and don\u2019t respect women why are we still married

​
Firecracker048
I'd bring the hammer to HR. They were willing to take action against you for words but when you have witnesses they sre trying to sweep it under the rug. Threaten to sue and demand a written, public apology from sarah. Honestly with you wife, that's different. Good luck with that.
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PhilosopherRoyal4882
Take Chris\u2019s advice : talk to a lawyer to sue Sarah and file for divorce . Your wife has zero respect for you
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ManufacturerNo6126
Yep i Seconds that. only one who is on your Side is Chris and you neither sleep or live with him ;) Cheers Up Mate and listen to the only one on your Side

OOP: He is a middle aged ( like me ) divorced guy and was joking that we should move in together and make a male version of golden girls ( divorced dads ) and raise the kids together

​
KatersHaters
*The Golden Guys Boys\u2026 I like it. Pool, old school arcade room, entertainment room. Sounds streets ahead of living with your disrespectful and cruel wife. Find your inner \u201cBlanche\u201d *and live it up.
​
Postef in DivorceMen by OOP
Need support - How did you know it\u2019s time to end the marriage
Hello friends , I posted in another thread but I\u2019m going through horrible times . I can\u2019t live with a woman who constantly belittles me . Part of me feels guilty for leaving because I have two kids. How do you it\u2019s time to end it? I\u2019m just wondering if my marriage is salvageable? Thanks
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

[30/32] RZSL Heavy Sim. Looking for Active and Dedicated users.
RedZone Simulation League
48 hours advance
Open teams:
Colts https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/IND
Bears: https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/CHI
We are a heavy simulation league. Meaning everything we do is done with the intent to replicate the real NFL to the best of our ability.
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/CGwdyEw
RULES - STRAFING (holding L2) in zone during pass plays unless a route crosses in front of you. THEN you can run with it but once you run with a route you have to stay with it - MATCHING PERSONNEL (call defense by formation. Match the number of CBs in your formation to the number of WRs in the offense formation) - NO QUICK SNAPS unless 2 minutes drill (let the QB come to the line and STOP moving then count 3 play clock seconds

[30/32] RZSL Heavy Sim. Looking for Active and Dedicated users.
RedZone Simulation League
48 hours advance
Open teams:
Colts https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/IND
Bears: https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/CHI
We are a heavy simulation league. Meaning everything we do is done with the intent to replicate the real NFL to the best of our ability.
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/CGwdyEw
RULES - STRAFING (holding L2) in zone during pass plays unless a route crosses in front of you. THEN you can run with it but once you run with a route you have to stay with it - MATCHING PERSONNEL (call defense by formation. Match the number of CBs in your formation to the number of WRs in the offense formation) - NO QUICK SNAPS unless 2 minutes drill (let the QB come to the line and STOP moving then count 3 play clock seconds

[31/32] RZSL Heavy Sim. Looking for Active and Dedicated users.
RedZone Simulation League
48 hours advance
Open teams:
Colts https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/IND
Bears: https://neonsportz.com/leagues/RZ/teams/CHI
We are a heavy simulation league. Meaning everything we do is done with the intent to replicate the real NFL to the best of our ability.
Discord invite: https://discord.gg/CGwdyEw
RULES - STRAFING (holding L2) in zone during pass plays unless a route crosses in front of you. THEN you can run with it but once you run with a route you have to stay with it - MATCHING PERSONNEL (call defense by formation. Match the number of CBs in your formation to the number of WRs in the offense formation) - NO QUICK SNAPS unless 2 minutes drill (let the QB come to the line and STOP moving then count 3 play clock seconds

See this guide on JustInBasil.com.
Building a deck for a Pre-release Event—an event where players get together a few weeks before a new set’s official release to play with cards from the new set—differs significantly from building a deck for the Standard or Expanded Formats. In a pre-release event, all players play in a Limited Format—where players are restricted to deck building resources provided for the event itself. This puts all players on a roughly level playing field and invites a much more laid-back, casual atmosphere.
At a pre-release event, players are provided with a Build & Battle Box from the set for which the pre-release event is being held. A Build & Battle Box contains the following resources to help you build your deck:

• 4, 10-Card Pokémon Trading Card Game Booster Packs from the Pre-release’s set (Most packs also contain a Basic energy card.)
• A 40 card preconstructed deck featuring 1 of 4 promo cards from the set (before Sword & Shield—Brilliant Stars, the kits instead included a 23-card Evolution pack, including the same cards, but without the Energy)

Pre-release decks are comprised of forty cards instead of the regular sixty and games played using pre-release decks are played with four prize cards instead of six. Like a regular deck, a pre-release deck must still include at least one basic Pokémon. Unlike a regular deck, the “Rule of Four” that restricts players to up to four copies of cards with the same name does not apply.
If your Build & Battle Box is from Sword & Shield—Brilliant Stars or later and you don’t feel comfortable building your own deck, you can simply use the 40-card deck exactly as it comes out of your box. If you’re using an older Build & Battle Box or if you're interested in tweaking the deck to improve it, read on.
Below is an example of what could come in a Build & Battle Box’s preconstructed deck. These particular Build & Battle Box deck contents were seen in St00ben’s Twilight Masquerade Build & Battle Box opening. The cards in the preconstructed deck have been broken into seven categories:

1. Primary Pokémon Type (Promo Type) - These are all of the Pokémon in the Evolution Pack that have the same type as the Promo card at the front of the pack.
2. Secondary Pokémon Type - These Pokémon also share their type with each other, but are not the same type as the Promo card’s type.
3. Other Pokémon - These Pokémon don’t share their type with the Promo card or with the other type in the Evolution Pack. Most often, these are colorless Pokémon that can be played with any type of energy. Sort each of these Pokémon by their type.
4. Draw Cards - These are Trainer cards—typically Supporter cards and Item cards—that provide a means of drawing more cards than the card you draw at the beginning of your turn.
5. Energy Cards - These cards are the means of powering up your attacking Pokémon.
6. Pokémon Search - These cards—typically Supporter cards and Item cards—provide ways to find the Pokémon in your deck.
7. Miscellaneous Cards - These are other cards that are included in the Evolution Pack that simply don’t fit into another category.

Example Preconstructed Deck Contents
Primary Pokémon Type

• 1 Tatsugiri SVP 118
• 1 Tatsugiri TWM 131

Secondary Pokémon Type

• 2 Chimchar TWM 31
• 2 Monferno TWM 32
• 1 Infernape TWM 33

Other Pokémon

• 2 Flabébé TWM 86
• 2 Floette TWM 87
• 2 Florges TWM 88
• 1 Fezandipiti TWM 96
• 1 Okidogi TWM 111

Pokémon Search

• 1 Perrin
• 1 Great Ball
• 1 Nest Ball

Draw Cards

• 1 Youngster
• 1 Nemona
• 1 Caretaker

Energy

• 6 Basic Fire Energy
• 6 Basic Psychic Energy
• 2 Basic Fighting Energy
• 2 Luminous Energy

Miscellaneous Cards

• 1 Community Center
• 1 Rescue Board
• 1 Rare Candy

As you open the four booster packs that are included in your Build & Battle Box, continue to use these same categories to sort the cards, sorting each Pokémon type into its own pile. From there, you’ll have four options for how to continue with the construction of your deck.
1. Build around the preconstructed deck. When you build around the Pokémon included in your preconstructed deck, you add additional Pokémon of the same types, including additional Pokémon from the same evolution lines, if possible. Colorless Pokémon and Pokémon with attacks that cost only colorless energy are also considerations.
2. Build around part of the preconstructed deck. Instead of using both types included in your preconstructed deck, you may instead choose to use only one. This may be to focus your deck on a single type (not a bad idea if you have a lot of Pokémon of the same type) or to introduce a new type from the cards you pulled from your booster packs, in addition to reinforcing the type you’ve kept in the deck with additional Pokémon from the same evolution lines, if possible.
3. Build around your pulls. The nuclear option has you ignoring the Pokémon in your preconstructed deck entirely, building around one or two types of Pokémon you’ve pulled from the booster packs included in your Build & Battle Box. Be sure to choose Pokémon that can do adequate damage for minimal attack costs, with decent HP.
4. Build around a multi-prize Pokémon, like a Pokémon ex. So, you’ve pulled a Pokémon ex and you have the evolution line necessary to play it. Awesome. This may be your best option. Here you have two different avenues of attack—to either go with just the ex and the bare minimum to get it evolved up, or to build around the ex, adding in Pokémon of the same type and Pokémon with colorless attack costs.
No matter which strategy you choose, keep in mind the following loose deck skeleton for a pre-release deck:

• 12-15 Pokémon
• 10-12 Trainers
• 12-16 Energies

Pokémon to Include

Pokémon you include in your deck should be at least one of the following:

1. A Good Attacker. A good attacker does reasonable damage for a reasonable attack cost. The higher the stage of evolution, the less reasonable an attack cost becomes. Low attack costs for mid to high damage are always best.
2. A Possessor of a Helpful Ability or Attack. A Pokémon with abilities or attacks that draw additional cards, help you to search for Pokémon in your deck, or interrupt your opponent’s strategy. Call for Family and similar attacks are especially helpful in pre-release decks as they can help you search for your stronger Pokémon when you don’t start with them.
3. A Free Retreater. A Pokémon with a Retreat Cost of zero can help you have an ideal Pokémon to promote when your Active Pokémon is Knocked Out. Free retreat gives you the flexibility to see what cards you draw into on your turn before committing a specific Pokémon and/or deck resources to your next attacker.
4. A Beefy Staller. A Pokémon with high HP can sometimes be helpful to stall your opponent long enough to get your primary attackers setup and ready to knock out your opponent’s Pokémon.
5. A Status-Happy Staller. A Pokémon with attacks or abilities that leave the opponent’s Pokémon Paralyzed, Confused, or Asleep can be the difference between winning and losing in a pre-release tournament. Because there are limited ways to switch out of status effects in a Limited Format like a pre-release, even little bits of damage from Poison and Burn can add up to a victory in the long run.

Trainers to Include

During a pre-release event, you should pretty much always include any trainers that are in some way beneficial to the deck you’re building. If a trainer is not helpful to your deck, exclude it. For example, you would not include Rose—a card that helps only decks built around a Pokémon VMAX—in a deck that contains no Pokémon VMAX.
If you find yourself with an overabundance of trainers and need to cut a few out, always prioritize keeping Trainer cards that help you draw cards or that help you find your Pokémon. These are the most important Trainer cards in any deck, and pre-release decks are no exception.

A Note on Energies

Unlike in Standard deck building, it is quite common for a pre-release deck to be built around two types of Pokémon (and, often, two main attackers) instead of being built around a single Pokémon. As noted earlier, a lot of pre-release decks will run roughly 13 energies (give or take a few) but will have to split those energies between two types. As an example, a deck with a Fire-type attacker and a Water-type attacker. Each preconstructed deck comes with Energy cards in it already, but you may find yourself cutting into your Energy to boost your deck’s draw power or Pokémon search capabilities and will need to consider which Energy cards to cut first. A few things will help you decide how to tweak the Energy split in your deck. Look for the following:

1. Does either attacker require only its type of energy to attack? Does the Fire-type attacker, for example, require one fire and one colorless for its primary attack?
2. Does one attacker have an especially high energy cost? Does the water-type attacker, for example, require three water energies to power up its attack?
3. Does either attacker have an attack that can be powered up entirely by either energy type?
4. Do secondary attackers have the ability to attack with colorless energies as the entirety of or part of their attack cost?

For a very quick-and-dirty guesstimate on how many energies you should consider running as a baseline, figure out how many energies of each specific type are required to power up all of your main attackers’ most cost-expensive attacks at once. If you have three copies of your main fire attacker and two copies of your main water attacker, and the Fire-type main attacker’s cost is [R][C] and the Water-type main attacker’s cost is [W][W], you would say that, at a minimum, you need 3 Fire, 4 Water, and 3 copies of either energy. As your Water-type attacker can only take water energies, you should weigh the use of the three “either” energy slots more in favor of Water energies, perhaps including 2 Water energy and 1 Fire energy for your last energies.

Other Helpful Notes for Pre-release

What to Bring

In addition to bringing yourself and the money required to participate in the pre-release event, here are a few other things you should consider bringing with you that won’t be included in your Build & Battle Box or otherwise provided to you:

• Deck Sleeves. Bring a minimum of 40 for your pre-release deck. This will help to keep your new cards protected so that you can play with them long into the future. My personal recommendation is Ultimate Guard's Katana sleeves.
• Dice. Bring at least a single coin flip die and six damage counter dice. Bring more if you can. With bulky Stage 1 and Stage 2 Pokémon ex running amok, damage piles up faster than ever. You don’t want to run out of dice to keep track of damage.
• Playmat. While not required to play, a playmat is a good item to have with you to help extend the life of your deck sleeves.
• Perfect Fit or Penny Sleeves. These are the sleeves you’d use to protect the valuable cards from your kit that you’d don’t end up playing with in your deck. Don’t have them? Use some spare deck sleeves.

Above all else, remember that Pre-release Events are primarily fun ways to get your hands on cards from the newest set early. Far more so than even in regular play, pre-releases are very luck-dependent, and your deck is unlikely to be especially consistent. Just sit back, crack your packs, and prepare for a casual, fun time. Don’t stress too hard about winning.

A Breakdown of Contents in This Set's Build & Battle Box Preconstructed Decks

Each Build and Battle Box contains a preconstructed 40-card deck. In that deck are the promo card and three segments of cards worth taking note of, beginning with two Pokémon-centric groups—one influenced by the promo’s type and the other influenced by the type of another random promo card from the set’s Build & Battle Boxes.
The following cards are our pre-release promos for the set's Build & Battle Boxes:

• Thwackey SVP 115
• Infernape SVP 116
• Froslass SVP 117
• Tatsugiri SVP 118

Additionally, each preconstructed deck contains cards from two of the Pokémon Groups below.
Thwackey Group

• 2 Grookey TWM 14
• 2 Thwackey TWM 15
• 1 Rillaboom TWM 16
• 1 Applin TWM 17
• 1 Dipplin TWM 18
• 1 Festival Grounds TWM 149
• 0-1 Bug Catching Set TWM 143

Infernape Group

• 2 Chimchar TWM 31
• 2 Monferno TWM 32
• 1 Infernape TWM 33
• 1 Okidogi TWM 111
• 0-1 Chi-Yu TWM 39

Froslass Group

• 3-4 Snorunt TWM 51
• 2 Glalie TWM 52
• 1 Froslass TWM 53
• 1 Munkidori TWM 95

Tatsugiri Group

• 2-3 Flabébé TWM 86
• 2 Floette TWM 87
• 2 Florges TWM 88
• 1 Fezandipiti TWM 96
• 1 Rescue Board TEF 159
• 0-1 Tatsugiri TWM 131

In addition to the promo card and the cards from the two Pokémon groups, each kit contains supplementary cards for your deck. These cards and Basic Energy cards will fill the remaining slots of your 40-card preconstructed deck, with each deck containing no more than two of each card listed below:
Supplementary Cards

• 0-1 Caretaker TWM 144
• 0-1 Community Center TWM 146
• 0-1 Jacq SVI 175
• 0-1 Larry PAR 165
• 0-1 Perrin TWM 160
• 0-1 Picknicker SVP 114
• 0-1 Salvatore TEF 160
• 0-2 Buddy-Buddy Poffin TEF 144
• 0-2 Great Ball PAL 183
• 0-2 Nest Ball SVI 181
• 0-2 Ultra Ball SVI 196
• 1-2 Nemona SVI 180
• 1-2 Youngster SVI 198
• 2 Luminous Energy PAL 191

See also:

• Twilight Masquerade Set List
• Twilight Masquerade Visual Set List
• Twilight Masquerade Card Translations
• New Archetypes from Twilight Masquerade
• Twilight Masquerade Rulings FAQ (The PokéGym)

Just a throwaway since this my first post ever and I need an outlet for this and figured Reddit would be better than wailing to my friends.
It feels like my heart is permanently broken after my first relationship ended years ago. I (M24) met my now-ex-girlfriend in high school in Spanish class, and I instantly fell hard.
I wasn’t the best student or the nicest person; I had (and still do) a whole lot of flaws and a lot of anger. She saw past it, and we started texting and getting closer.
I finished high school and decided to join the Marine Corps. Throughout all of boot camp, she wrote countless letters encouraging me and helping me push through, which was something I’d never experienced from someone before. She wasn’t even my girlfriend at the time, yet she did more for me than my family did. It was liberating to see someone genuinely care the way she did. Even when I broke my foot, she kept saying I would make it through, and I got a letter from her at least once a week the entire time I was there. She even showed up to my graduation, and the way I felt when I saw her was what I thought love would always feel like.
We continued on, and my career there took me to a lot of places, keeping me away from her for a while. It put a strain on things.
I put my friends before her sometimes because I felt I owed them.
Despite my shortcomings, she was so patient with me, even when I left her to go on vacations with my friends when I was only home for a short time.
I wasn’t perfect through all of this, but she always seemed to be this perfect woman who was supportive and caring. I made mistakes, and feeling loved scared me sometimes. I would occasionally do things to put her at arm's length just so I didn’t rely on feeling loved, just in case it ever went away.
What finally broke was when I got moved to Japan, and it all hit me at once. I broke down. I was going to be away from home, and she was the only family I genuinely felt I had. Leaving all of that just to go live in a foreign country for years without her hurt me in so many ways. The drinking became more frequent, and the smoking got worse. At this point, I was a shell of who she fell in love with, and even I knew that.
I got stationed at home after we had a falling out over something that I could have avoided if I had realized that I was slipping sooner.
We tried to be better for her again, but I still messed things up sometimes, and I still let her slip away because I couldn’t be better. By then, my stepdad had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, and it felt like I was constantly going through some mental break over one thing or another. Stress of my job and expectations to be perfect at it, my stepdad dying, my bio dad just being a massive asshole with help from my stepmom, my mom putting all this weight on me hitting me all at once just wore me down, and there were days I would just drive and sit in a parking lot somewhere and sob.
Through all this, I was hurting her with my attitude and my actions. Every way of coping I had was just something else that was both self-destructive and causing her pain and sadness.
She finally ended it after not being able to take any more, which broke my heart, but I understood. I knew I was broken and damaged, and deep down, I knew it was better for her.
I tried dating again and put in as much effort as possible to find love, but everyone I met felt different, like they were cheap copies of her. In the end, I broke up with them, expressing that I couldn’t do it and it wasn’t fair to them for me to date them while thinking about someone else and constantly comparing them to her.
Shockingly, they all understood, and I’m actually pretty good friends with most of them after setting them up with some of the people I worked with at the time. Going stag to a few ex-girlfriend/friend weddings was a level I didn’t think I’d get to, but there I was.
I still see her from time to time to help her or her mom out, and I’ve given up hope of loving someone else. She was someone who picked me up out of the dirt when my home life was hell, my grades in school weren’t going to get me anywhere, and I was making all the wrong decisions. She saved my life and loved me enough not to change me but to encourage me to do better.
So for now I’m living life in a haze and just coasting through. I feel like this is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
EDIT: I’m not an english major nor am I used to writing something out like this so forgive the grammar or formatting cause I typed this on my phone

Disclaimer: I do not speak Korean. This is purely translated by machine with a lot of cleanup afterward. With that in mind, I am open to criticism to improve these translations. Enjoy!
Chapter 406
The era of the Great Cataclysm, which began with the arrival of Demon King Asmodeus, was dark and chaotic. Yet, humanity not only recovered but also ascended to unprecedented heights of civilization.
For some, however, there are things more important than elevators powered by magic stones or healing potions.
"The internet has gotten faster."
The man's voice held reverence as he adjusted his glasses.
It was 11:30 AM. Behind him, the ramen simmered, complemented by a setting of cold rice and fresh kimchi.
All preparations were complete. Exactly 3 minutes later, after adding two A-grade special eggs he had bought during a supermarket sale, and waiting just 2 more minutes, a perfect lunch would be served.
Meanwhile, he would dispel his boredom with the pinnacle of modern innovation: the smartphone.
"Let's check today's headlines."
He hummed, scrolling through his phone.
At 'Hunter University,' a favorite forum of his, new posts surged in popularity:

1. [Victory streak continues. The monster legion nearly dissolved? UN Security Council declares, "Humanity prevails. Yet, the war wages on. Vigilance until the very end is crucial."]
2. [The Sichuan miracle centers around Jin Tae-Kyung.]
3. [National pride swells with emerging heroes, boosting K-POP and kimchi sales globally.]
4. [In the lead-up to the Korea-US summit, President Dorambbu comments, "Is this the land of Jin Tae-Kyung? He's my hero."] [Note: I believe this is a reference to Donald Trump. If you look up (@)dorambbu on YouTube, you'll see a channel that uses his image as the profile picture.]
5. [Ares Guild's victories solidify their formidable reputation.]
6. [President Shao Yang of China: "They are all heroes."]
7. [Seaweed.com translates reactions from international netizens on the current situation. "Who exactly is Jumo that Koreans keep killing at every opportunity?"] [Note: this is a reference to chapter 390. Apparently after the MC wiped out the initial monster wave on the western front, many Koreans were suggesting that that day was to be named the "memorial day of the Jumo". "Jumo" translates literally to housewife or mother-in-law, but is used to describe a hostess who serves alcohol. In this case, "memorial day of the Jumo" would be a day where Jumos work themselves to death to bring alcohol to celebratory people. The joke here is that many foreigners don't understand what a Jumo is and assume that Koreans are just massacring their own people.]
8. [Japanese Prime Minister Megumi Shinjiro: "The monster wave should be tackled in a fun, cool, and sexy manner." Asked to elaborate, he smirked, "To explain would be unsexy."] [Note: given that many world leaders' names have been changed only slightly so that their original reference is clear, I was expecting the same for the Japanese Prime Minister. However, I don't see any resemblance in the names of current and past Prime Ministers of Japan, so I'm not sure what's being referenced here. My best guess is that this is a reference to anime characters, but even then it doesn't really narrow down the list without knowing more about this Prime Minister.]
9. [Russian President Purin, "To me, Shinjiro is like quantum mechanics. No matter how much I try, I cannot understand him."]
10. [Web novelist-turned-prophet, Zero Big, announces a hiatus during an interview disrupted by an irate editor, leading to a 12-week recuperation. Despite injuries, a joyful Zero Big laughs, while his editor, Mr. Lee, laments, "This is inhumane."] [Note: quick reminder, Zero Big is the author of Murim Login.]

.
.
.
"Wow. What a mess. It's total mayhem."
A grin spread across his face as he continued scrolling, the stories about Jin Tae-Kyung filling him with immense pride.
While some headlines seemed bizarre, they still stirred a profound sense of national pride within him.
The comments section was on the brink of exploding.
The activity on Hunter University is unprecedented. I've been a member since grade school, yet I've never seen such fervor;;
└ The truly astonishing part is Jin Tae-Kyung. He single-handedly defeated ten thousand monsters. It's hard to believe even now. How is such a feat even possible?
└ He's great, but let's get the facts straight. It wasn't ten thousand, but only a few thousand.
└ Hahaha isn't that just as crazy?
└ If you get hit by a goblin's poison dart, you'd be begging 'Please, gently!' — you're that guy who used the 'Aura Keyboard' last time, right? [Note: 'Aura Keyboard' is a reference to a shit talker in novel chapter 389.]
But isn't Jin Tae-Kyung more than just an S-rank Hunter now? Are all S-rank Hunters this extraordinary?
└ Even during the Great Cataclysm, such achievements were scarce; we should set Cheon Tae-Min apart as he's in a league of his own... But didn’t Lee Jeong-Ryong also accomplish similar feats during that time?
└ Hmm. So he hasn’t reached Lee Jeong-Ryong’s level yet? That’s a letdown.
└ ?? Does Lee Jeong-Ryong strike you as an old sage forgotten by time? Though overshadowed by Cheon Tae-Min, in terms of feats and influence, he ranks among the global elite;
└ 222. Just last week, across all five fronts, he had the least casualties while devastating the monster legion. Jin Tae-Kyung is phenomenal, but Lee Jeong-ryong and the Ares Guild are on another level. The advancement on the northern front is especially rapid.
└ Comments like this make me nervous. I fear the hotheaded youngsters will show up to challenge me again.
└ Just block your IP address, you’ll be fine. But at this point, isn't this conflict nearly resolved? We're dominating the monsters with mobile tactics right now.
└ Undefeated for the past week;
└ The Arch Lich must be reeling. He concentrated all his might on a surprise attack last week only to see it thoroughly repelled. The Death Knight Lord perished, and those who escaped are being hunted down as we speak. It looks bleak for them.
Shouldn't the Arch Lich step up his game now? This silence is suspicious.
└ I thought the same, so I sent a KakaoTalk message yesterday to check in.
└ ? To whom?
└ To the Arch Lich. He said he's busy with a promotion battle. If he wins this round, he's moving up to gold and was pretty happy about it.
└ The person above is crazy.
└ What’s really bizarre is Zero Big taking a break now. You have to seize the moment when opportunity arises. It’s nonsensical.
└ Enough with the absurdities. What matters is continuing this momentum to quell the monster wave without further severe setbacks. Let's hope for a swift resolution and honor those we've lost with a moment of silence.
└ Hmm... I hate China, but yeah. Every country has both idiots and sane people. Cheers to all the Hunters and soldiers.
└ Cheers!
The prevailing sentiment among netizens was supportive and positive.
Initially viewed as a serious situation, the monster wave is now a source of national pride, and even the tributes to the fallen resonate with hope rather than despair.
'Well, there has been a lot of good news lately.'
The man nodded. It made sense. According to the latest reports from the UN Security Council, the situation had decisively improved.
Just a week ago, a coordinated surprise assault on five fronts inflicted substantial losses, but swift reinforcements turned the tide, leading to consecutive victories.
'At this rate, it might end in a few days.'
The momentum seemed unstoppable. Particularly noteworthy were the fronts led by Jin Tae-Kyung in the west and Lee Jeong-Ryong in the north.
'This brat. I was quite worried at first, but he's doing even better than I thought.'
After reflecting for a moment, the man logged into the forum and contributed his own comment.
Jin Tae-Kyung's Roommate: Can you believe this is the same Jin Tae-Kyung who used to be such a loser? This new Jin Tae-Kyung is a legend. Back in the day, we used to eat ramen together all the time, and to see him become an S-rank Hunter, and a legendary hero known as the strongest in the world... it truly moves me...
No sooner had he posted his comment than responses began to pour in.
Song Jin-Ho, smiling contentedly at his phone, suddenly remembered something crucial.
"Oh no! My ramen!"
* * *
"Ah, I'm craving ramen."
Hearing me mutter, Mr. Choi, who had just recuperated and returned to the front on a jet last night, inquired,
"All of a sudden?"
"I know, right? That's weird."
"Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung never ceases to astonish."
Swoosh!
The [Hero's Soul] cleaved through both the Lizard Man’s weapon and body like a beam of light.
As green blood spurted and a vile odor filled the air, my appetite vanished, and I surged forward.
Ssssshhh, Kwaah!
Flame-Extinguishing Divine Fist.
A fierce heat consumed dozens of Lizard Men, incinerating them. The hesitating monsters appeared as though they were a defeated army.
Sensing the battle's momentum, Shao Shen led the charge, bellowing,
「Charge! Charge!」
「Raaaaa!」
「Blades of the wind, come forth! Wind Cutter!」
Sssshhhh!
Clang! Swoosh!
-Kueeeek!
-Kiyuk, cough!
Our assault was relentless, overpowering the monsters without giving them a chance to respond.
Though our numbers were matched, the monsters could not rival the morale and caliber of our forces.
As the frontline disintegrated like a sandcastle, fear took hold among the monsters. Several began to turn and flee.
'At this rate, a total collapse is all but guaranteed to follow.'
Fear spreads like wildfire.
Once one flees, ten follow, soon triggering a full-scale, uncontrollable retreat.
Indeed, my prediction proved accurate, and victory shouts soon filled the air.
「Chase them! Don't let a single one escape!」
「Quick, cast a speed buff!」
「Ranged units! Ready, fire!」
Sssshhhh! Boom!
Energized by victory, the Hunters began ruthlessly cutting down the fleeing monsters, disregarding their usual formations.
Within moments, the six-lane asphalt road that, just a month ago, would have teemed with cars, now lay carpeted with monster corpses.
"We've won again."
After the battle, Mr. Choi approached as I inspected my equipment. I shrugged.
"You don't look too happy about sharing good news."
"That's strange. I was just thinking the same thing as I looked at Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung."
"...Hmm."
It appeared we shared similar sentiments.
Despite our victories, I felt no elation.
This disconnection began on the second day of our counteroffensive.
"What do you think, Mr. Choi?"
"What are you asking about? The reduced numbers and strength of the monsters? Or the dozens of victories over the past week?"
"Both."
"Probably the same as what Mr. Jin Tae-Kyung is thinking. The current situation is certainly encouraging, but... something feels off."
Mr. Choi glanced at the jubilant crowd.
Exhausted yet hopeful faces longed for the end of the war and a return to their families.
"It's not that I don't understand. There were so many high-level monsters at the start of the war. If they had lost their elite troops, this situation could have developed. But..."
"The Arch Lich. The problem is that it's unlikely he'd let this happen so easily. Isn't that right, Mr. Choi?"
Mr. Choi nodded slowly and inquired,
"Do the higher-ups share our thoughts?"
"Probably. I don't know about the other S-rank Hunters, but the Minister of National Defense Wei Feng-Hu is certainly aware."
"That's reassuring, but..."
Mr. Choi’s voice faded, reflecting the unease I felt.
Now, as we neared our destination, Suining City.
What could the Arch Lich, conspicuously absent throughout the conflict, be plotting now?
-Hmm. Around this time, he'd be oiling his bones. After all, even an undead needs to be well-maintained to look splendid.
"..."
Shut up.
* * *
Swoooosh.
An immense void. Darkness spiraled inward toward a central focal point.
As the opaque blackness dissipated, stray beams of light from the setting sun poured through the broken windows, illuminating a figure.
-Come forth, great adversary.
Spoken with a voice as cold as the winter wind, the Arch Lich's eyes sparkled with concentrated magical energy.

https://preview.redd.it/ly4b2r8izszc1.jpg?width=3150&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fb7cf5dc026cc8fe9a4a821cb5816a047d1917e
Had some bigger expenses this month so I wasn't able to put as much into savings as I have the past few months (only an extra $200 on top of my automatic $200). I did have a couple unexpected expenses in a lunch out that I was invited to and buying a book. Both those things are allowable for me but don't happen often. I'm hoping I'll be able to add a bit more to savings this next month as I won't have any bigger expenses and I have an extra paycheck in May. I've almost given up on trying to keep my grocery bill under $200. I've had some food aversion issues the past couple months that really haven't helped with that either. Hopefully those issues won't last too much longer and I can lower my grocery spending a bit.

Previous
​
I think it’s obvious that, while I’ve never lied to my dad and my brother about something big before, I haven’t told either of them about the animals at the zoo and I’m not planning on it. Even if they believed me, that would actually be worse than thinking I was being foolish by working here. If my dad knew what kind of animals the zoo had, he’d freak out, whether or not there were invisible walls to protect me. In and of itself, my father would demand I quit on the spot if he found out about my hourly rate because it was obvious that there was something about this job that warranted it.
So, I opened a savings account at the bank, and when I deposited the check, I put half in that account. That lowered the chances of my dad finding out how much money I was pulling in.
It wasn’t as if I had anything huge to spend the money on anyway, though. Dad had been thrilled with $25/hr. when I got the job, and we’d already started spending some of that first paycheck on new clothes and little house repairs and such. Money has always been tight, and we live in a three-bedroom house, with my dad graciously having taken the smallest room (which was kind of a catchall storage room up until then) once my brother and I wanted separate rooms when we hit our teenage years.
My mom isn’t in the picture, if you’re curious. She worked as a wildlife photographer, and was so good at it that she’d get paid to go off to remote places in Africa. For months at a time. As if we don’t have animals in America, right? But even when she was here, it always felt like she was distracted, wanting to go back to work. Like she cared more about the animals than about us. Say what you want about me, but I like animals more than people, I don’t love them more. I don’t even think of her as mom anymore; in my brain, she’s Patricia.
When I was nine and my brother Stanley was two, she basically left and never came back. Doesn’t even send postcards. For all I know, she’s dead, and the most meaningful thing I ever got from her was my passion for caring about other animals. I got into it early because of Patricia, and then practically every birthday or Christmas present was some book or movie or toy about wildlife. But that’s all she did for us besides financial support. My dad is a real rock in my life, and I count myself lucky I got at least one good parent.
When Patricia ditched us, I started to help out financially when I was younger by working odd jobs, and then real jobs when I hit sixteen. Stanley is sixteen now, and he’s been working at Hanks Hardware for a few months, which meant now it was all three of us pulling in money. But Stanley only makes $10/hr., working four hours after school and then eight hours on Saturday, so my $25/hr. literally doubled our household income. When I’d gotten the job, I told Dad and Stanley that I wanted Stanley to quit his job, and that I’d give him an allowance, $80 a week, which was what he'd be using for pocket money if he’d still been working.
Getting that time back would be huge for Stanley, because it would let him spend more time on his schoolwork. Not just to bring up his grades; he would literally be learning more. And he’s a junior now, doing things like taking a computer class to learn Microsoft Office. Living in a small town limits your options, and knowledge broadens them. I know that much for sure.
Not to mention, he could actually be a teenager, do the stuff kids did. Go see a movie, hang out with his friends at the bleachers and smoke pot, and head out to the lake to swim when the weather warmed up and have a genuinely fun summer instead of having a forty hour work week. And most important, playing video games. I know that sounds strange, but Stanley loves video games and plays online on the TV in the living room. But he hardly ever has time to play, which means sometimes he’ll stay up too late enjoying himself and fall asleep the next day during his first period class. Dad and I never have the heart to tell him to go to bed, though.
My father was uneasy about Stanley quitting, mostly because of the hypothetical of my job falling through. And Dad didn’t even know about the possibility of there being some terrifying incident with an animal, which might cause me such anxiety that I wouldn’t be able to push past it and would end up needing to quit. I really didn’t think that was likely after I’d managed to mostly get over my paralyzing fear of Yui, but I yielded to his logic and we negotiated. Stanley decided to switch to three hours three days a week and four hours on Saturdays.
Little did they know that not only was I was saving up for my own impending student loan payments, but my savings account would cover a most or maybe all of the cost of any college or trade school Stanley wanted to attend when he graduated. I was so happy about that, I don’t have the words. Half of my income is $25/hr. and for eight hours a day will be $52k a year, all of it put in my savings account. Before taxes, but still, that is fantastic money. I’ll have to come clean eventually, when Stanley started filling out FAFSA forms next year, and I’ll probably tell my dad that I was pretty sure they’re running drugs out of the back of the zoo or something. He’ll be so pissed, but that’s over a year away and I’ll burn that bridge when I came to it.
So, in general, I’ve been enjoying working at the zoo and depositing those paychecks. Call me a cynic, but inevitably, that meant something had to go wrong.
After settling in for my shift a few minutes before 9 p.m., Andrew bid me farewell and headed home. He’d just done one last walk of the zoo, so I took out a book and resumed where I’d left off, planning to do a sweep in an hour. I do have some enrichment planned for one of the animals, but I’d had to order something online and it won’t arrive for a few days.
Shortly after my second ramble around on my route to check every enclosure at the zoo, however, I got a text from my brother.
> Gary and Shaun are going to the zoo. They want to try to see the animals.
I closed my eyes in annoyance. Gary and Shaun were two sort-of friends of Stanley’s, the middling kind of friend that you sit with at lunch and hang out with at parties but you’ve never actually been to their home. I knew Stanley had been bragging to his friends about my new job. Well, I guessed. He’d told me and Dad at the dinner table that his friends were impressed with my job, and I figured the fact that his sister had a college degree and had started work at $25/hr. was bragging material, especially when it meant Stanley could work fewer hours.
The idea that some of his friends would want to come check out the zoo hadn’t occurred to me, because I’d come at it logically: The zoo was closed to outsiders. Appointment only. And none of them would ever get an appointment, because they were human. But if anything, the rules that restricted them had probably made it a more enticing idea. Also, Stanley said it the zoo on Google Maps at this point, but that it was blurred out. Andrew told me that had been by request (anyone can do it actually), but I’m sure that made the temptation even worse.
Obviously I wasn’t going to let them in, but I didn’t want them to cause trouble, and they were teenagers. Teenagers tend to cause trouble as a general rule. The last thing I wanted was to have to tell Andrew that they’d shown up at the gate intent on visiting the zoo because my brother had talked it up so much. Not that Stanley knew what this place really housed, but still, Andrew had been so stern on no photography of Leila that I would’ve been embarrassed if I had to call the cops because of something like this.
My reply was curt.
> Tell those dipshits the place is closed to walk-ins. I’m not letting them in.
> I did. They want to go anyway.
I facepalmed and sighed before replying.
> If you can’t talk them out of it, just don’t go with them. I’ll deal with it.
There was a long silence, then some ellipses as he typed, then another long silence. I got antsy and sent a follow-up.
> Stanley, I mean it. I do not want you here if I have to call the cops to get them to leave. Stay home. If you show up here with them, I’m cutting off the money I give you.
I wasn’t the type to play fast and loose with threats about money, so that probably surprised him. There was the briefest of pauses.
> Geez, no need to be a bitch about it. Fine. I’ll stay here. Good luck dealing with those assholes without me.
That was indeed exactly what I wanted, and he must have known that. Hell, I had pepper spray and a taser, so it’s not like I couldn’t keep them out if I really wanted to. But when it came down to it, I figured, what were they going to do? I wasn’t going to open the door or the front gate. The fence was ten feet high, the kind with spaced bars that had decorative spikes at the top, and it was brand new. It wasn’t as if they were going to take bolt-cutters to a barbed wire fence like in a movie.
In the end, I sat back in my chair and just fell back on my regular routine. I wonder now, if I’d called Andrew and told him, maybe asked him to come hang out for a while, whether things would’ve turned out different. But I wasn’t very well going to wake him up for something that essentially sounded like a minor irritation.
At 10:41 p.m., a beep, beep, beep, alert sounded, and I know the exact time because I picked my phone up off the desk out of habit, assuming it was what was making the noise. But it wasn’t. Looking up to the screen of cameras, one was outlined in red, pulling my focus to it. It was an exterior camera with a wide view that panned back and forth, but was now stopped on movement that it had detected and had deemed sufficient to audibly alert me. I later learned that it was in conjunction with a motion detector on the fence. On the screen, I saw two boys, one on the outside of the fence to the left of the entrance gate and one on the inside.
“What the fuck?” I breathed, standing up and putting my book aside. My fingers went to the mouse and keyboard, and I expanded the view from the camera and zoomed in. It seemed I’d underestimated the boredom and curiosity of two small-town teenage boys.
I saw how the first boy had gotten in when the second boy used the same technique, which was to climb a rope that had knots tied in it about a foot apart, a rope that had been hooked onto one of the spikes at the top, presumably with a loop that had been lassoed and tightened. He made it to the top, shifted and dropped to hang from the top by his hands, then let himself fall to the ground, his knees bending and absorbing the shock of the impact before falling on his butt.
One of the boys had hit a growth spurt, topping out at 5’11” now, all gangly limbs. He had short brown hair and I could see him wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of his school on it. That’s the best outfit to wear when breaking in, apparently: something that shows what high school you go to. The other one was a little more built and half a foot shorter, with long blonde hair that he probably thought made him look like Chris Hemsworth. It didn’t.
“I cannot believe this,” I growled, my anger flaring. Heading quickly out of the office, slamming the door behind me, I was out the door and walking toward the entrance, driven by my anger.
Already walking into the park at a speed driven by their interest in the forbidden areas, they started on the path that went toward enclosure one and rounded the zoo. “Hey!” I barked.
“Ripley!” Gary exclaimed. “Your brother said you wouldn’t open the gate, so we let ourselves in.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked, keeping pace beside them, rage bubbling up inside me. They slowed but didn’t stop. “Do you think this is a joke? There’s a reason I told my brother not to come with you. That alarm you set off goes to the owner of the park, and they’ll definitely be pressing charges. You really want ‘breaking and entering’ on your rap sheet?”
They gave me long-suffering looks, the kind only someone under twenty is capable of. The kind that imply you’re neurotic, or pushy, or self-centered. The kind that say you don’t know what you’re talking about, that they know so much more than you, and that all you are is an annoyance.
“Come on. What is with this place? It sounds awesome, some private zoo, but Stanley didn’t know anything about it,” Shaun told me. Glancing at my belt, where my pepper spray and taser were, he asked, “Is it that top secret? Everything here could sell on the black market for a million bucks or something?”
“They’re expensive animals if poachers get their hands on them, yes,” I said tightly.
“Why would they hire someone fresh out of college for that?” Gary asked, his eyes continuing to take in his surroundings, the path and everything in sight bathed in their standard eerie red glow. “And what’s with the lights?”
“It’s for night vision,” I told him, skipping over the part implying I wasn’t qualified for this job. “Hey, stop.” Moving in front of them, I forced the issue, moving to stand in front of them and forcing them to either stumble to a stop or run into me. “If you climb back over the fence and leave now, before anyone gets here, I’ll lie and say I didn’t know your faces.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re uptight,” Shaun chuckled. “What’s the big deal? I mean, we might not even see anything, since it’s nighttime and the animals are sleeping. It’s not like we’re stealing a tour.”
Honestly, I have no idea how our species has survived this long when our formative years make us so confidently stupid. “So, why are you even here then?” I asked, folding my arms.
“Why not?” Gary asked.
With that, they were quickly walking around me, toward enclosure one. I hadn’t yet seen the animal in enclosure one, but what I did know was I didn’t want to see it for the first time tonight. Roger’s short and snappy description described it as Bear - Steve. According to procedure in the small manual Andrew had given me, I was supposed to deter any intruders with fact that they were on camera and threaten to call the police. It didn’t say what to do if that didn’t work, but I assume I was supposed to…call the police. And also call Andrew, of course. That didn’t solve my urgent problem though, which was two teenagers who wanted to see something cool.
“That’s it,” I growled, taking my taser in one hand and my pepper spray in the other, hoping the sight of me being armed would deter them. Heading after them, I snapped, “If you guys do not leave, I will make you leave.”
Shaun turned and walked backwards so he could speak to me. “Just because you’ve got a complex since they hired you to look after a place like this, doesn’t mean you have any real authority,” he told me. “Look, call the cops if you want. Tell them some teenagers broke in. Response time around here is probably fifteen minutes, so we’ve got ten minutes, minimum. We just want to see something cool, and then we’ll leave.”
I hate that he called my bluff on the weapons, especially in hindsight. I’m not a confrontational person, and my instincts are always to avoid a fight if possible. So, in this case, my instincts were telling me to call in someone else to help get these clowns out of the zoo, not to use the weapons I had for just such a purpose. It makes me feel helpless and angry knowing that I back down from fights, but I balked at the idea of getting physical with them. Only the fact that that wasn’t supposed to be part of my job kept me from feeling like a complete failure as security.
“The animals here are not puppies,” I finally exclaimed. “Some of them are territorial. They could seriously hurt you.”
They finally slowed their pace as they closed in on the gate to the wooden fence. “What are you talking about, territorial? They’re zoo animals,” Gary said.
“This is a huge zoo, and it’s more like a preserve,” I sighed. “It backs up into the forest. These animals build their homes here, scent mark the boundaries, and regularly eat small animals that come in through the bars of the fence to explore. So, like I said. These. Are not. Puppies.”
The two of them finally came to a stop at the gate, looking at me warily. “With this fence, how dangerous could they be?” Gary asked. I didn’t answer. Shaun scanned the expanse behind the gate and Gary looked around, making it clear what he was looking for when he said, “Where are all the signs and shit?”
“There’s a tour guide,” I said. “They don’t need signs.”
“Okay, so, what’s in here?”
Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. “It’s time to leave. I’m serious.”
Gary glared at me for a beat and then said the worst word possible. “Whatever.” Then he turned and unlatched the gate, walking through.
“Gary!” I shouted, stopping short at the threshold. Shaun walked past me, and I made a grab for him, but was too slow. I’ll regret that until the day I die.
Halted at the gate like there was an invisible force field keeping me out in just as it kept the animals in, I officially started panicking. I’d messed up, and now I couldn’t even hit them with either the pepper spray or the taser unless I wanted them to be easy prey.
My eyes scanned the smaller plants along the fence, which slowly grew in average height the closer you got to the tree line. The trees were surprisingly close to the fence, only a few yards in. Also, there were no footprints, no path that only grew small weeds from an animal that often paced back and forth, so I wasn’t sure how often it came out of the trees. Maybe it didn’t.
I wondered if there was another lake, maybe a small pond, that I didn’t know about further in, if the animal lived there. Or maybe this one was relatively reclusive, so I might have time to get the boys out. It could be that it had heard the ruckus of voices and decided to investigate, as it did during tours, but it would take a while to get here. Or I could get lucky and whatever it was could have just had a great meal, deciding to pass up the humans within its grasp.
But I was not lucky.
Putting my pepper spray and taser back in their holsters, I took a couple steps back as I pulled out my cell phone and called 911.
There was a brief pause before I heard someone pick up, and a calm female voice spoke, “911, what is your emergency?”
“Yes, I work at a private zoo, address 11842 Lincoln Road,” I spoke, drawing the shocked gazes of both boys. “Two teenage boys broke in, and they’re refusing to leave the property.”
“For real, Ripley?” Gary exclaimed, as if genuinely offended at my actions.
That’s when all hell broke loose.
Gary was standing near enough to the tall trees that he was under the branches, and something dropped on him, its weight crushing him to the ground. He didn’t even have time to scream. Shaun did, though, crying, “What the fuck?” as he stumbled backwards.
“Get out of there!” I screamed, grabbing my taser from its holster and pointing it at the animal.
On top of Gary’s body was something that looked like a koala. The only thing was, it must have been almost twice as big and had an orange, spotted pattern on its fur. The kicker was the teeth. Koalas eat eucalyptus leaves, most people know, so they don’t have much use for many teeth or even sharp teeth. They’re equipped with a pretty pathetic set of chompers.
Whatever this was, I knew it had a full set of teeth made for a meat-eater, because it had bitten down on Gary’s neck and ripped out a chunk of flesh, arterial blood spraying from the wound.
Shaun, unfortunately, did not take the opportunity to run. He stared at his downed friend, just as I did, in horrified fear. And then ran to him. “Gary!” he screamed. “Hey, get the fuck off him!”
“Shaun, don’t!” I shouted.
Whatever Shaun was thinking, it was less about the potential of him being attacked versus the fact of his friend being attacked right at that moment. I’ll say that about him at least: he didn’t just leave his friend to die. Unfortunately, if he had, it might’ve saved him. Throwing himself at the animal, Shaun shoved it off, an impressive show of strength, before grabbing Gary by the arm and trying to pull him to his feet. “Come on!”
I could see that Gary was barely conscious, though. A gash in an artery that was profusely bleeding will do that to a person. I attempted to aim my taser at the animal, but only a split-second passed before it turned and leapt once more, slamming into Shaun and biting his neck. I stumbled back in fear, adrenaline now pumping through me in earnest, as Shaun cried out in terror and fell to the ground before the animal ripped out his throat.
My vision swam at the sight of a copious amount of blood and the sound of Shaun choking on it. Thick chewing sounds came from the animal before it swallowed and then turned to me.
I only realized I’d dropped my cell phone when I heard a faint, panicked voice ask, “Ma’am? Ma’am, are you there?”
Lowering the taser, I slowly took a couple steps forward, picked up the phone, and I quietly said, “Yeah. I’m here.”
It felt like she was speaking from the other end of a long tunnel when I heard, “I’m sending police and EMT right now. What happened? Was someone injured?”
Swallowing hard, I grimaced as tears came to my eyes. Staring at the animal, which was still meeting my gaze unwaveringly, I simply answered, “Yeah. They’re dead.” At that point, the animal grabbed one of the boys by the throat, then the other, and started dragging them into the trees.
She hesitated before asking some more questions, and I replied to them all absently. Eventually, the animal was gone from my sight, but I still walked backwards as I retraced my steps to the security office, exactly like the first time I’d seen Yui. Eventually I arrived at the security room, and my shaky hand swiped the key card to get in. Shutting the door, I told the 911 operator, “I’m safe.”
“Good. The police should be there in ten minutes.”
My brain thought it was funny that it turned out the boys had been right about the timing, but filed it under ‘things to think about later’. “Okay. I have to call my boss.”
“Just stay on the line with me until the police arrive, okay?”
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” I said quietly. “I just really need to call my boss.”
In spite of her protests, I hung up. The silence of the room rang in my ears and I slowly sat down in my chair, pulling up Andrew’s number.
After four rings, he picked up, his voice drowsy but tense, knowing I’d only call if something had happened. “Ripley? What’s wrong?”
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Two teenagers broke in. They’re dead. Steve killed them.”
“Oh, fuck,” he breathed. After a few beats, he said, “Okay, all right, I’ll, ah, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Did you call the police already?”
“I was on the phone before it even happened, saying they broke in.” I grimaced at that. I was supposed to call my boss first, not the police. That let him determine what actions to take.
Andrew let out a breath. “Okay. I’m assuming Steve took the bodies?”
“Yeah.”
“All right, I’ll call Suzanne and have her put Steve down for a nap, and then get the bodies back to where the EMTs can get them.”
That confused me, and I didn’t really know what to say, so I went with, “I’m sorry, Andrew. I should’ve tried harder to get them to leave. Even tasing and pepper spraying them would’ve-”
“Ripley, this is not your fault,” he said firmly. “I’ll be there soon as I can, all right?”
We ended the conversation and I glanced at the screen of cameras, which was how I’d left it, focused on that section of the fence where the boys had climbed in, with the view enlarged to take up most of the screen. I stared at it until the police arrived.
When the motorcade of flashing lights were visible at the end of the road through one of the cameras, I pressed the button to open the front gate. Fielding the police officers and the EMTs and their questions, I brought them to the enclosure, and right at the edge of the tree line were the two bodies, looking exactly as I’d last seen them. So, I guess Suzanne knows how to run her zoo and handle things when the worst happens.
Both boys were put into body bags and lifted onto gurneys, and then each one was put into one of the two waiting ambulances. Andrew arrived before too long and answered all the questions the police had for him, the ones I didn’t know how to answer. Also the questions that I didn’t really feel comfortable answering, like, “What species of bear is it exactly? And why is there just this flimsy fence here?” I watched from a distance as they took his statement and, I determined by watching their facial expressions, Andrew seemed to answer their questions to their satisfaction.
The long, exhausting experience ended when the last of them left, and Andrew and I went back to the main building, going to his office. Instead of sitting in his desk chair, my boss vied for the couch that sat against one wall, used occasionally by visitors. I sat at the other end, leaning back heavily into the cushions.
Andrew spoke first, echoing his earlier sentiments and immediately making it clear that what occurred wasn’t my fault. I felt some anger at myself, mostly because I knew that if I’d used one of my weapons on one of them, they’d still be alive. But I hadn’t wanted to go to such extremes just because they’d climbed over a fence. They were dumb teenagers, right? I’ve never been tased or pepper sprayed, but I’d seen videos on YouTube and it didn’t look like a fun time.
“Look, you said it that first day in your interview, that people are stupid,” he told me. “Teenagers especially. You know that’s a fact. You did the best you could in that moment, so don’t look back and think of what you could’ve done to fix things, because solutions always seem obvious in hindsight. All right?”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Andrew sent me home at that point, saying he’d take the rest of the shift. I was too weary to object, so I left.
Stanley was still sleeping safely in his bed, and that’s one thing I’m so grateful for. If this job took my brother from me, I’d be done with it. Still, I don’t relish waking up tomorrow and having to face him. I don’t know exactly how he’s going to react to the news, but it’s going to be the worst thing in the world that’s happened to him, mostly because of the guilt of not being able to talk them out of going. The same way I couldn’t talk them out of staying out of an enclosure.
My schedule is still nocturnal, so I’m not tired enough to sleep right now. Hopefully I’ll get sleepy soon. For now, I’ll play one of Stanley’s mindless old school video games with the sound muted. My main goal is to get the image of all that blood out of my head.
​
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Hello!
I am a Canadian student going to Switzerland in August to study for about four months. I have some questions regarding the type D visa and I was wondering if some people had answers:)

• Do I need to respect a certain format for my motivation letters, letter of sponsorship and other handwritten documents?
• Do I absolutely need to arrive on the date I write on the application form? Can I arrive a little later?
• What do I need to submit for details of income?
• At question 20 (name and address of educational institution), do I write my original university or the one I’m going to? It’s a student exchange agreement.

Thank you so much for your answers and have a great day!:)

Lately TF has been out of control. Which makes me think she’s been a long term narcissist and in the past felt the need to cover it to be a good girl and sell albums. Now however, she realized that people love her for who she truly is - an AntiHero, and she’s able to enable the self-victimizing Karen’s to be their true selves, so she doesn’t even try to hide how narcissistic and greedy she is anymore.
SHE CANT PUT THE MASK BACK ON!!!
Give her a few years she’d prob have a child via a surrogate on her own (quoting medical issues and fear of pregnancy, and tells the public nobody should control what a woman does with her own body even if it means using a poorer woman’s body) and then be the type of mother like Cindy Crawford in Mommy Dearest, just from her untreated distrust of family and need to take advantage of people around her, her being threatened by the new generation and perpetual need to stay in the spot light, and her tendency to be abusive.

1. She robbed a teenager Olivia Rodrigo by getting a huge cut from her most popular songs, which assume she did by threatening legal action. Legal action from TS would’ve been damaging and financially costly for Olivia Rodrigo, so even though the law was on the Rodrigo side as the songs were nothing alike, she caved in. Olivia mentioned in her song The Grudge that a call betrayed all her trust and shattered her world, and “you have everything and you still want more.” TS then proceeds to invite Rodrigo’s enemy Sabrina Carpenter on stage on opening night of Rodrigo’s concert and mess with Rodrigo in a billion little ways. She then wrote iwannagetyouback copying Rodrigo’s “get him back!” as a second fuck you to Rodrigo. This is what I would expect from a cartoon villain.

She’s 34 and hanging out + enabling with a teenager’s bullies lmao I can’t.

1. She for some reason stole food from a middle class black family in the Anti-Hero music video. Just watch that video and tell me if she is a narc or not. Who with a healthy mindset would write a song about their useless children fighting over inheritance and being killed by her daughter in law? Do you know any other singer in their right mind that writes a song humiliating nuclear family members that’s not even born yet?
   
2. TS only advocates for TS. She for some reason did not speak out for Joe, or the women associated with Joe via work, about being attacked by her insane fans. This is all after cucking her bfs and admitting to cheating many many times.
   
3. Blaming her fans for not being able to be with a racist guy who did the nazi salute. I’m sorry you’re a billionaire!!! You can go off to an island with him for the rest of your life and nobody would find you. This is not Romeo and Juliet. I can’t be with the nazi boy of my dreams because my woke fans that’s made me a billionaire don’t support it so let me mock you at my concert? What? What’s stopping you from living your best life besides you want MORE MONEY, want to sell more cheap quality over priced merchandise, and concert tickets?
   

If you prefer fame and money over your obsession of racist boy, that’s on you. Don’t call it true love either, it cheapens love. Love is unconditional, it’s when you can go broke for being together but you still make it happen, not a billionaire moping about being controlled by her own greed.

1. She sued a college student for tracking her extremely wasteful jet usage which is also public data. Not to mention her lawyer was trash and that demand letter was embarrassing.

Guys, the mask slipped and she can’t put it back on. Expect more craziness and enjoy the ride.

Trying to find a new job but not having much luck. Perhaps my CV is garbage

I have this friend, let's call them, idfk Sandra? Anyways me and Sandra have been friends since I moved schools. She liked some things that I liked and I kinda fell in love with her but not to the extent where it felt romantic like Romeo and Juliet. It was more like high school sweetheart type shit. Anyways she said she liked me and I was her ‘bi awakening.’ After this rumors started around that we were dating. Mind you I have only been at this school for about two months. After confirming we don’t like each other anymore we go back to being friends. When the new girl, we’ll call her Lilith, was invited to our friend group by Sandra, she asked if we were dating. Sandra refused to tell Lilith because ‘she didn’t want to get involved’. Like it’s about you, you best be helping me! We would literally get into arguments every other day to the point where when I told my friends about it they would say “again?!” And roll their eyes. Well like 2/3 weeks ago she steals money off my lunch tray and refuses to give it back. Like 2 dollars. Anyways later on in the same day Sandra steals my money, she asks for a ride to which I reluctantly gave her. Then she tells my mom “she needs the money back from when she paid for my lunch.” She actually just tried to steal 25$ from me and my mom. She gave it back but ever since I’ve wanted to distance myself from her. Especially since like a week ago she got me in trouble for an argument Lilith and I had. Like wtf?! Anyways she lied like everyday and now she is trying to be my friend again. How do I tell her?! And also, how do I confront her on lying? Please help!!

So I have one friend who I would say I'm really close to, having known each other for quite a long time. During my birthday, I always make it a point to invite them out (I treat said friend to dinner and all that) and have just generally felt like it's a mini tradition at this point. My friend invited me to their own birthday last year, and we also had lunch together + hung out. However, this year, I didn't hear from them, and they didn't ask me go anywhere for their birthday or anything, which I wouldn't really think too much about, but I did feel quite a bit affronted, considering the fact that I made it a point to treat them during my recent birthdays when we were both in the same city/place. I also realized that - while they did technically invite me out last year - it was mostly because I told them I wasn't going anywhere during the holidays, and was going to be in town, and I suppose they may have then felt pressured to invite me out? I don't know if I'm making mountains out of molehills/being too sensitive but thinking about it kinda stings.

A couple of months ago, author Rick Bass was interviewed by the NYT in their "BY THE BOOK" feature. Among other good things, there is this excerpt below. Back in 2005, just after it came out, I gave a glowing review to Rick Bass's novel, THE DIEZMO, detailing an 1850s historical filibustering expedition. I recall that some others, naysayers just like the ones here, thought it did not measure up to being mentioned on the Cormac McCarthy Site, but I stood my ground.
Rick Bass, always a McCarthy supporter, went on to write brilliantly about naturalism and I have since reviewed many of his books. The last one of his I reviewed on the now vanished site was THE TRAVELING FEAST: ON THE ROAD AND AT THE TABLE WITH AMERICA'S FINEST WRITERS (2018), in which Bass dines with many of our favorites, including Jim Harrison before he died. Bass said that some authors did not accept his invitation, and surely one of those not accepting was Cormac McCarthy.
Among the books written by Rick Bass are some recognized gems, fact and fiction, including THE LOST GRIZZLIES, THE NEW WOLVES, THE NINEMILE WOLVES, COLTER, THE HERMIT' S STORY, THE SKY, THE STARS, AND THE WILDERNESS. Just about everything.
What books are on your night stand?
“Ædnan” by Linnea Axelsson; FATHER AND SON and “Passage to Juneau” by Jonathan Raban; “All the Pretty Horses” (re-re-read); “Cold Mountain” (re-re-re-read); “Mink River” by Brian Doyle.
Do you prefer books that reach you emotionally or intellectually?
Yes.
How have your reading tastes changed over time?
I’m less patient and can barely any longer abide even one misstep in a sentence, no matter how “good” the story. I crave protein and no longer have much interest in sugar.
Do you consider yourself prolific?
No.
What makes you so prolific?
It’s like the old Woody Allen joke: I’m prolific, I write a book every yeaNo I’m not prolific at all, I write a book every year.
What’s the last great book you read?
It’s been a while now, but I loved “Miracle and Wonder: Conversations With Paul Simon.” Great can be kind of a limiting word these days. At this stage of my life, I’m a fiend for rereading. I will return to Cormac McCarthy’s THE PASSENGER, as I do much of his work.
What’s the most terrifying book you’ve ever read?
“The End of Nature” by Bill McKibben; “The Dying of the Trees” by Charles E. Little; “The Most Important Fish in the Sea” by H. Bruce Franklin; “Enough” by Bill McKibben. He is an amazement — I know of few writers who so powerfully merge intellect with deep morality and the dignity of manners, yet while retaining sacred rage. Terry Tempest Williams can terrify for the same reason.
What’s your favorite book no one else has heard of?
GOODBYE TO A RIVER comes to mind — I’m writing a book celebrating his work, with a bit of biography. It’s pretty much a perfect book, with beautiful descriptions, intelligent and with a fair-minded voice, authoritative without seeming so — leavened by intense curiosity about the natural world and people, too. There is just enough of a curmudgeon in the narrator, balancing with sweetness, and again curiosity, to make it an irresistible read, and an unforgettable journey of a young man paddling down a wild river about to be erased, turned into a flatwater lake by a dam.

Are your essay collections organized around themes? What would you say the new collection is about?

The essays are not organized around themes but in selecting them — trying, and for the most part I think successfully, to avoid my straight-on advocacy pieces — I realize I chose those about the pursuit and celebration of things I find beautiful. What are my aesthetics for beauty? I think of beauty as a kind of fittedness: the way a thing integrates, or seeks to integrate, with everything else in its environment. This can imply a deep and complex, sophisticated connectedness to all things — which is why we tend to see so much beauty in nature, because that’s how nature rolls. But there can be a deep aesthetic of beauty, too, in the isolate, the singular, the solitary, no-longer-connected or not-yet-fitted.
“I rarely feel more real than when I am hunting and gathering,” you write in one essay. What do hunting and writing have in common?
Properly done, both are gifts. In each, your senses are so acutely engaged that it seems the tips of cell receptors glow incandescent; you burn, yet without damage — there is only illumination, exhilaration: the moment, caught in the web of five senses and deepest specificity. In hunting, every footfall matters — where you choose to direct your senses, step by step, matters, as does in writing every word choice, every letter, every sound.

(Note: I'm tagging this OD in History because it's based on historical accounts of Escriva. It's not snark, it's verified testimony from both faithful followers and ex-members.)
Something I noticed in Fr. Vlad’s account of his time in Opus Dei (http://www.fathervlad.com/download/prof-msgr-vladimir-felzmann-a-journey-to-eternity-my-years-in-opus-dei-1959-1982.pdf) that aligns with others’ observations of Josemaria Escriva: He seems to have had a lot of free time.
Fr. Vlad talks about how, when he was in Rome training to be ordained, JE would spend hours watching him paint or do electrical repairs. JE also personally pre-screened any movies they watched in order to censor them. There are recollections from women (both exes and members) of him coming into the laundry or the kitchen to sit and tell the nax anecdotes of his childhood while they worked. The people around him were running around doing everything from the mundane tasks of the household to the high-level work of researching canon law to set up a juridical structure for OD, and JE…well, we know he said Mass every day and did his norms (though no one really kept track of his schedule except Don Alvaro and Don Javier), and he sometimes had high-level clerics and donors and occasionally family members of his favorite numeraries over for lunch or visits…but otherwise, he seems to have had a lot of free time.
And it seems he put much of this free time to work “seducing” (Fr. Vlad’s word) his favorites with his time and affection. The man who had zero tolerance for particular friendships among his followers certainly seemed to have had such relationships of his own. To be clear, I am not alleging sexual improprieties, though it wouldn’t surprise me if something like that had been going on based on Fr. Vlad’s descriptions of “wrestling” and time spent together in the middle of the night when JE had insomnia. This affection has more to do with details of particular gifts, favors to their biological families, and time spent together getting to know them and remembering the details they had told him later. Then when, later on, JE was displeased with them and shouted at them or corrected them, it cut all the more deeply. This is how he guaranteed the loyalty of key members and kept them inside even when they knew things were going on that violated their consciences and made them question. It was pure manipulation.
Of course, JE is never presented this way in Opus Dei. They talk about how much he had on his plate, trying to sort out a situation for Opus Dei within a Church that just “couldn’t understand” his idea for an organization of lay people. Oh, and the worries of all of his children fell squarely on his shoulders! Like the mother of a large and poor family! No wonder his “strong temper” was sometimes activated and he would yell at “his children”—it was their fault for not doing what he wanted, when he wanted, in the exact way he wanted. Of course he had to be strong with them! He was the father of a “large and poor family,” living in a marble-walled palace where other people provided for all of his material needs. With private rooms none could enter, unless particularly invited. (Imagine having that level of privacy and security in a center as an ordinary member, when anyone can enter without permission and you can be moved to another country at any moment!) Summering in England when it got too hot in Italy. Enjoying weekends in the countryside on the dime of his donors. Multiple luxury cars (with a full-time driver and caretaker) at his beck and call in the middle of Rome. Everywhere you go, they roll out the red carpet, with performances of songs and plays and anecdotes to entertain you. If you were really bored, you could just call up one of your favorite numeraries and ask them to come spend time with you. And they’d drop whatever they were doing, because a request from “The Father” is paramount.
When you look at him in this light, he starts to look eerily similar to…every other cult leader. Their organizations are always “misunderstood,” and that weighs so heavily on them. So heavily that everyone around them needs to help keep their spirits up, along with doing all the work of taking care of their needs and solving this big problem:
Keith Raniere, leader of NXIUM—so distraught with anyone who left that he’d sue them to ensure their bankruptcy and silence. It was so stressful for him, he’d spend hours lying on the couch while everyone around him scurried to work, and while major donors fell all over themselves to pay for his expenses. And they’d make him feel better by giving him massages, playing volleyball late into the night because it was his favorite thing, and organizing an entire week of essentially camp for adults in his honor. This is to say nothing of the sexual favors he was demanding of the women in his inner circle that most members were unaware of. But even if sex had been out of the picture, NXIUM was still a cult and Keith's control over his members was maintained through manipulation of his favorites with his time and attention. [To learn more: The Vow on Max, Seduced on Showtime, A Little Bit Culty podcast, several books from reporters and ex-members]
David Miscavage, head of Scientology—flying all over the world in multiple private jets, living in houses purchased with Scientology’s substantial funds and maintained by the “SeaOrg”—minions paid less than minimum wage to do the grunt work of maintaining Scientology’s properties. He hangs out with his favorite members (celebrities like Tom Cruise) and has an entourage who follow him around catering to his every whim, ensuring he always has his favorite foods and the best of everything on hand. [To learn more: Scientology and the Aftermath, the Fair Game podcast, testimonies of ex-members]
Rajneesh (aka Osho), leader of the Sannyasin movement—flew around on private jets, owned 93 Rolls Royces that ferried him around. Held audiences with members of his movements that look eerily similar to the films of JE, answering questions, giving guidance from on high. He would give his time and affection to those he favored, and set his followers up to compete for his affection. He lived a very comfortable life while his generals did his dirty work enforcing rules with his followers and strategizing against the residents of a small town in Oregon to make way for their cult's compound to flourish. [To learn more: Wild, Wild Country documentary]
There are more, but you get the idea. When JE is held up as a saint, we compare him to other saints. When he is held up next to other cult leaders, it’s clear who he has more in common with.