Quotes about missing people

What do you mean? I always post on Wednesdays... shush... anyway thanks for reading! :D
Also, I feel nasty promoting myself but, for any who ***can*** I am always appreciative of support which you can do through the lil' Ko-Fi link in my bio.
Pen turned to Gareth.
“What do you think. Dirt or the Nebula?”
“Hmmm that’s a hard one Pen but I think I’ll have to go with the latter… just this once.”
The man shook his fist in the air.
“Excellent! This-a-way then friends!”
His fist turned to a sweeping hand, and he moved off in the direction he’d originally appeared from. The two followed though Gareth kept quite close to his companion and watched the shadows vigilantly. The man quickly led them onto a well-trodden dirt path.
“Good that things turned out the way they did,” the man began as he walked, “A day longer and yall’dve missed the festival. Then again, we mighta pushed it back. Wouldn’t’ve felt right to celebrate when people are missin’ their people. Still, yer found. Just in time to enjoy the harvest.”
“Harvest?”
“Yup, were self sufficient out here… not really to be honest. Plenty of technology. Plenty of help from the cities and were not isolated but we try to keep to ourselves. Town is mostly people who enjoy a quieter life. Oh, uh I suppose I never introduced myself. Casius. I hunt for the town mostly. Tend a little garden. Keep Riley company. Riley is that old wolf.”
“You keep that wolf company?” Gareth asked.
“Well, she ain’t domesticated but she split from her pack a couple years back and keeps to the area near town.”
“Why’d it split from its pack?”
“Too old. Wolfs’ll reach an age where their experience doesn’t outweigh their slowing bodies. At that point they take it upon themselves to wander off. Not burden their kids. She’d’ve starved by now but… well I can’t help but leave some bits and pieces for her. Feel bad I guess,” a small smile came to his face, “She loves fish.”
“That’s kind of you.”
“Eh in some ways it is. In some ways it isn’t. Sometimes I think I’m only prolonging her suffering, but I suppose if she were really ready, she’d stop taking what I leave around so… maybe not. I can’t not anyway so not much point in waffling about it.”
“Suppose Riley knows her business better than you.” Gareth offered.
The man laughed.
“Exactly.”
A few minutes of silence passed, broken when Casius announced their arrival.
“Here we are.”
True to his claim, the walk took only twenty minutes or so before they could see the lights of a town down the way. Pen almost lamented their decision to rest when they did. If she’d pressed on even another minute or so they would have found the path on their own. From there she would have insisted they continue, and poor Gareth never would have had to come face to face with that wolf.
“You know. If it weren’t for the dense tree cover, we might have seen the light from where we set camp.” Pen said aloud.
“Most likely.” Casius responded.
Pine and bark abruptly opened to a sight Penelope didn’t quite expect. It wasn’t a town of metal and clean macro-printed construction. Instead, hand-built log houses lined dirt and cobble roadways. Yet perfectly fused with the old was modern technology. The town clearly had power and any amenities that couldn’t be accomplished by older means were not lost in any capacity. It created an interesting but not discordant aesthetic. Hovering vehicles traveled down streets lit by standing torches. Wooden houses were lit from the inside by electric lights and boasted solar panels on their thatched roofs.
Pen also noticed that there were no farms despite Casius mentioning a harvest. What at first glance looked like nothing more than untended verdant growth was actually quite the opposite as she looked closer. The trio walked through the town and instead of cordoned fields with rows of crops, it seemed like every inch of unused ground was sprouting with some kind of food producing plant. There were plots dotted through and around the town dedicated to this. Seemingly rampant overgrowth was actually well thought out edible plant guilds. Gareth watched as a woman passing them on the street stopped to pick what he was fairly certain humans called a “peach” and bite right into it as she walked off.
The town was quite abuzz at the moment. People were jogging here and there setting up streamers and unloading boxes. As the three came to the center of town they saw a number of people setting up massive oak tables in a circle around a large tree. From a bird’s eye view the town center might look like a sun with the tree as its center and the streets, and now tables, as rays.
“Ohhh she’s comin along. And now your people have reason to celebrate too. Speakin’ of yer people should be this-“
“PENNNN, GARETH!” a squeaky voice yelled out.
Pen couldn’t see its source immediately, not amongst the moving people. Soon enough, though, scampering out from behind a stack of boxes and rushing towards them was a little grey furred creature with his telltale puffy tail.
“I’msogladyoureokayohmyohmyohmy.” Thwilll was talking so fast Pen only knew what he was saying by the tone of his voice.
“Yea were oka-”
“You… Ahhhh! You jumped out the back of the ship!!! Everyone is going to be so very happy! How could you do that!? You’re not injured, are you?”
Thwilll gave Gareth a lookover and then jumped up onto Pen and began inspecting her closely.
“Surprisingly uninjured, though my stress has been quite high, it’s probably even starting to show. Nothing that a few days of relaxation won’t cure.”
Pen looked him over and noticed a general pallor to his shell. Once vibrant teals and oranges seemed to have been leeched away.
“Some well-earned relaxation that’s for sure.” Pen said with a soft hand on his back.
Thwilll sniffed Pen closely and scrunched his nose and held his head away from her.
“Mmm rest and some baths. No offence pen but… you stink.”
She laughed at the little chinchilla-like creature’s blunt comment.
“I’m sure I do! I’d kill for a shower.”
The man had stepped aside to help another straighten out a bench but turned back.
“I can take ya to the town hall, it’s where we were headed before we met the furry fella. The captain should be there with the mayor. After that I think we can get y’all cleaned up.”
“Yes, yes! Deag and the others don’t know yet! We’ve got to tell them!”
Thwilll scampered off towards the tree, stopped and turned back to wave them on, and then continued on past the tree. Pen thought he looked a bit like a particularly puffy meercat in that moment.
The man chuckled, shrugged, and walked onward.
“Heh, well the fluffy little fella is goin’ the right way.”
Pen and Gareth looked at each other and followed suit. They both marveled at the large tree as they passed by. It stood like a thick trunked oak, but its green leaves were speckled pink all through its boughs.
A short jaunt and a couple of turns took them to a larger building. Not hand built like most, but machine printed and clearly for a communal purpose. Pen and Gareth noticed Deag first given that he stood apart from all the humans around him. He paced near a human woman. Small as she was it was clear she was in charge as she was acting as a locus of activity. At any given second she was directing one group or another. Deag was clearly not really there, lost to his own thoughts.
“Deag! Deag! They’re okay!!!”
His eyes shot to Thwilll and then immediately up to Pen and Gareth. He lit up and jogged over to them.
“Pen! Gareth! I’m so happy to see you. Of course, I had complete faith… that said it takes the weight from me to see you safe. You aren’t injured right?”
He looked over Gareth and noted the stress shell then turned to Pen. Not quite knowing what to look for he looked for her to signal one way or the other. She shot him a thumbs up and a wink. He knew what a thumbs up was by now and nodded in relief.
The woman found herself in a lull of people needing her attention and took the chance to walk over. She stood shorter than Casius and certainly shorter than Pen but had an air of authority about her. Casius certainly seemed to shrink under her gaze. Pen noticed he actually didn’t seem to even want to meet her eyes. It was to such a degree that he was legitimately using Pen as cover from the woman.
She reached her hand out to Gareth and then Pen and shook them both. Bronzy tanned skin darker than Pens grasped them. She had some age to her. Her wrinkled face was weather worn but she smiled kindly. Her grip was soft and warm.
“Mayia. Pleasure. Gonna go out on a limb and guess you are Gareth, and you are Pen.” She looked up at Pen and raised her eyebrows, “Sheesh. Well, we’ve got places where you can get cleaned up and a change of clothes for you Pen. I’d offer a change of clothes for you Gareth but… I don’t think we carry your size or number of arm holes for that matter.”
Her tanned face gained even more wrinkles than normal as she looked the alien over. All she could imagine was what he might look like in a sweater. Adorable… in an ugly way.
“I appreciate the thought.”
“… I suppose I should also ask. A big basin of water? Soap? Do you… need…”
“Water will do fine. I’ll pass on the soap though. Anything else I can get from the ship… which is not in a heap of rubble?” Gareth looked over to Deag.
“The Nebula is in one piece… banged up but fixable. The mayor contacted the city. They’re going to tow us to a port for repairs.”
Pen caught Deags eye and did that thing where she said nothing but looked at him as if she were saying something. It had confused him for quite a while, but he learned it was her conveying meaning with just that one look. It was something a lot of humans did and though he doubted his ability to recognize the meaning in someone other than Penelope, he was starting to understand what certain looks of hers meant. Currently she was letting him know they needed to talk about something urgent.
He nodded to her but spoke to both her and Gareth.
“You get cleaned up though. I’ll let the crew know you’re okay. We can rest and get situated, enjoy a celebration apparently? We will have time for anything else later.”
Pen caught his meaning; glad that he understood her look.
“I’m dying for a shower.” She sighed.
The woman pointed back past them with an offering hand.
“Follow me.”
Previous
First

Hi, I've been lurking around here but too shy and introverted to actually shoot my shot. Better late than never I suppose. Feel free to AMA for things I might have missed
A little bit about me

• I'm 5'7"
• I wear glasses
• Aries bday
• South Asian but born and raised in the States
• I'm not fat but not skinny in some area either (not muscular but I am a bit curvy)
• I have a graphic design degree
• I'm in the process of launching a startup
• I have unhealed trauma from longtime bullying and abuse (which I'm currently getting help for), hence my shy/introverted nature. I also have a lot of trust issues/opening up/body image problems so please be patient.
• I'm a huge nerd for manga/cartoons, modern and retro computers/tech/AV equipment, motorsports and video games (most of the games I play are racing games but I've dabbled in other genres as well. I grew up with the N64 then moved to Xbox. I also play on PC. I'm big on retro games too). I'm also into adult oriented shows like Beavis and Butthead.
• I have a pretty wack sense of humor and love to make people laugh
• I'm selfish and caring, understanding of people and always willing to help
• I am def up for cuddling, physical touch even if it is something I've never actually experienced before
• Not really big on pets (even if I am a bit of a dog person, I just feel unused/slightly uncomfortable around them)

My ideal girl

• Ideally is the same/taller than me in height
• Has a boyish/tomboy vibe
• Similasame intrests (a big one)
• 100% serious for a possible long term relationship
• Curvy in the right places
• Okay with possible kids
• Kind, trustworthy and caring/understanding
• Okay with NSFW stuff but only when the time comes

Hope to hear from someone!

I female 49 had been seeing a friend male 59 on and off for about 10 years. This last month we had a falling out and I was staying at his home with him when he decided to kick me out over disagreement about dinner. He told me I needed to be out that day I did not argue I just went to the process of gathering up everything that I had there. And when I was almost done I had gotten to the bedside table on my side of the bed and that is where I had kept my vibrating toys that's where I had stored them since I had moved in there and I had not removed them from that drawer in that time Now In the past I'd had a problems with his granddaughter who lived with him, coming into our room and going through my stuff and taking whatever she chose, and granted I was a little bit suspicious that it was her but didn't believe that it was I didn't make sense she's only 13 so in my mind that was out it couldn't have been her. that's what I thought in my mind. So decided to ask my friend about them, if he had seen them, maybe he is had put them somewhere or I possibly even thrown them out just to spite me. you never know. people do silly stuff like that when things falls apart like that. and tbh I didn't put it past him but I figured I'd ask. He said he hadn't seen them and I believed him, and really I didn't want to fight with him either way I just wanted to get out of there. So I gathered everything and left.
But about a week later I was waiting for a check that had been sent to his house by mistake and so he said he would bring my check to me. Wellb that morning he had told me over text that he found my vibrating toys back in that drawer where they were supposed to be the week before but were missing when I left the week before. so I asked him to bring them too when he came out to me and he said he would. But later when he went to leave his house to bring my stuff to me he went to the drawer where they were that morning and they were gone yet again! even though a few hours before they were there. He just scratched his head and left to bring me my check without bringing the toys cuz he could find them. So when he got out to me he gave me my check and I asked him about the toys. he said that they had disappeared again. I commented that that was strange. shrugged it off thinking that you know something innocent had happened to them. But again letting it go because wasn't worth a fight with him. then the following week I had texted him early monday morning telling him that I had sent something to his granddaughter through the mail and to let her mother know to keep an eye out for it because it was on his way. He said he wouldn't then in the exchange that morning he informed me that his daughter-in-law had found my toys in her daughter's bedroom in her drawers and had thrown them away.
Me not thinking about the cost of them at the time or replacing them at that moment of the morning I laughed and said yeah kids will do that kind of stuff and we all did stuff like that when we were young and we both laughed about it, and about how embarrassing it must have been for his daughter-in-law to have had to have pulled those out of here her daughter's drawer and talk to her about what she had found in her drawers.. Not a situation I would want to be in and thankful it was not me. We said our good buys and went about our day.
But as the day progressed I thought I can't afford to replace those I don't have the money to replace them and I'm not the one that is responsible for me not having them. And I had paid for them initially they were my property and they were stolen from me. But yet I was going to have to be responsible to replace them if I didn't confront them about this and I knew this was going to be an awkward conversation but I knew it had to be done I saw no way around it. Because really the petty in me could not let this go So knowing that this awkward conversation was coming and going head first into it because there was no other way to approach it. I texted him and said "hey you know I got thinking about what happened with my toys. I believed that her parents should be responsible for replacing my property she stole."
Now I raised five children on my own, by myself and I'm not going to lie to you, my children stole many many times and if I could not return what they had stolen I paid for it out of my own pocket no matter what it took away from my children because that's what you do. you are financially responsible for your children until they become of age when they can do that for themselves it's just the way it is.
But I asked him if they were going to replace my toys that their child had taken from me because I thought it was only fair I shouldn't have to replace what their child took from me especially something that expensive. and his response was "well I'll ask her about it" and I said "okay I'm looking up how much it's going to be to replace them online I will let you know approximately how much it is" one was like 90 or so dollars the other one was about 30 and so I informed him of this. No knowing than this man was a bully I was sort of expecting what came next but it was still hard to stand My ground with him probably for the first time in 10 years. he asked me if I was going to pay him back for the money that I owed him. now over 10 years that man had either given me money straight out, borrowed me money which I paid back, or had me work for money that he given me. I don't have a clue how much probably thousands but for the most part we came to an agreement in that moment the money was exchanged how it and would be delt with. But never once in 10 years did he honestly really believe that I owed him money and he told me this many many times. But me being the subservient always felt like I had to make sure that he was aware that I felt like I owed him for everything and he had done for me so over those 10 years I had told him that I told him over and over thank you so much you don't know how much you've helped me I owe you more than you know and more than I'll ever be able to pay back. And again two weeks before our meltdown and me leaving his house I had borrowed $50 from him and that following Friday I paid him back $100 because of staying with him and he wasn't taking rent from me so I figured you give him a little bit extra money back for letting me borrow it, hoping he would see that I did appreciate what he did for me. And I think in that moment he had forgotten that I had paid him back already and wanted to use that $50 and believe me again to letting this go but my pattieness just wouldn't let it go. One because I know I was right and two because I didn't want let him bully me into anything else ever I needed to stand My ground for me. And yes over those 10 years many times money came up missing out of his room and he had wrongfully assumed that it was me. I didn't want to fight with him I knew I was right and hadn't taken the money and so it wasn't worth it to me to have to defend myself it's something that I knew I had not done. But in keeping quiet and letting him assume that about me, and me not having the backbone or the self-confidence to just stand up to him and say no I didn't do it. It damaged our friendship because he couldn't come to me and ask me nor did he believe what I said because he wanted to believe what he wanted to believe about me and that's the way he was no matter how blue in the face I was in trying to convince him otherwise with no proof ever to back what he believed. He just wanted to believe I was a bad person so he did. But in that moment we both realized that it was probably his granddaughter stealing from him when he was assuming it was me but neither one of us voiced it I knew he wouldn't because he wouldn't admit he was wrong and I didn't want to climb a hill and fight a fight that I didn't have to choosing your battles as a smart thing sometimes. But I did ask him how much he thought I owed him and He said he didn't have a clue I said I didn't either but that I thought we were close to even. So at that moment I took the air out of a sales and he was no longer able to continue trying to bully into dropping my complaint about her stealing my stuff and then replacing it. ButI stood my ground, shaking terribly, glad we were on the phone and said "I never stole any money from you you only believed what you wanted to believe about me and I let you because it was easier than the confrontations. But your granddaughter stole from me and all I'm asking is that her parents be responsible for what their daughter had done. because that's what a responsible parent would do" and after a few minutes I could tell he was Realizing that I was right and that he couldn't get me to back down I'm principles alone I was right. So he did eventually agree with me that her parents should be responsible for making restitution for her crimes. Which caused me to let out the breath I was holding waiting for another fight with him and glad that I didn't have to go there. But almost immediately after agreeing with me he still wanted to be right and still wanted me to feel less than him so he decided to put his little two cents in about a couple of hoodies that had disappeared about the time that I left his house and he wanted to know where they were saying in such a way that he was accusing me of taking it from him. Knowing I was not responsible and my conscience was clear and that I had not taken anything of his from that home when I left that was not mine, I stood my ground,shaking still,I just responded "you know my bet would be that if you went through your children's and your grandchildren's stuff you would find both of them in there" but chose not to go any further because it wasn't worth it I just wanted to be done with this conversation with him. Had to take him a few minutes to respond bBut eventually he did agree that that's probably where he would find them. And I told him to have her let me know what they were going to do about the whole situation and we said our goodbyes. And as of yet I have not heard from her and I'm going to reach out in a couple days and see if you know they're going to step up or if they're going to be chicken s**** like they have been for the past 10 years my guess is the later but I'm hoping for the former we'll see what happens but I'll post an update on here when something happens. But I want to know if I am the a****** for wanting them to replace what their child stole from me. Or if I should just let it go and move on with my life? that petty part of my brain just really doesn't want to let this go because of everything that they put me through makes while staying there at their home because I didn't have the self-confidence or the backbone to stop it while it happened in the first place . But to be perfectly honest it's not about the money or replacing my toys it's about doing right by that child and showing her life better than this that she's currently in. this has been going on with this child for as long as I've known them 10 years and they have turned a blind eye and let her do this over and over and over never giving her any consequences except when they're confronted and asked to repay what she had damaged stolen but only then and if she was able to get away with it nothing was ever done. this child hell every child deserves better they deserves better by their parents grandparents she deserves better by everyone who is supposed to be there for her but unfortunately I get most cases the person that we should be showing them a better way is taking an easy way out themselves and neglecting to show their children how much better life could be when you walk with your head held high and with a little bit of pride and ethics and morals which is severely lacking in our world these days. This child's parents want her to sit down shut up and only be speak when spoken too and to achieve this they have decided to put her on medication for a defiant disorder that she does not have in order to control her chemically instead of actually being a responsible parent and teaching her right from wrong by leading by example and living a decent life. living by the Golden rule.
And even though my Petty side says I don't care . The part of me with morals and ethics wants to know am I the a hole for pursuing this? Or should I let it go like everybody else in the world seems to be doing lately when something like this happens cuz we all see it. Has our society has become morally bankrupt and ethically nullified? Is there no Young generation out there who wants to stand up and be accountable for their own actions and be the decent person live by that Golden rule or have we screwed them all up who is our neglect because we're so addicted to the instant gratification world we have surrounded ourselves with?

There is something about me, that is apparently core to my personality that others seem to just be put off by. I can’t shake this trait no matter how many times I change myself. Even after working out my demons and improving myself, my appearance, my “swagger”. I keep chalking it up to not having the charisma that I see some other people display where anything they do or say just seems to land well.
But it’s not just the lack of attraction, it’s seems more like the opposite.. like an unspoken repulsive force that I just emanate.
I have enough family members and close friends that are meant to be able to tell me anything.. but while I’m grateful for them, when I open up about this issue it’s met with denial, some weak compliment, and further repulsion.. or even worse.. telling me it’s all in my head. It’s not a confidence thing nor a lack of self-esteem. I am fairly confident in my abilities, slightly overconfident in some cases, and there are many things that I’m proud of in my life. But there is always a breaking point with any relationship where I’m just not enough and there never seem to be the words to describe what I’m doing wrong. The mantra of “it’s not you, it me” can best describe this. After hearing it so many times, you start to question if those around you aren’t paying enough attention to notice, or don’t care enough to tell you the truth.
I just wish someone could tell me what it is that I seem to be missing so I can do something to fix it.
I’m alone.
I’m okay with being by myself but I’m also terrified of staying that way.
Maybe I’m unconsciously pushing people away because I know I can never fully be myself with anyone else. Is this what people mean when they say I’m lonely?

Storywise I have 1 question so I will start there: I saw someone in this subredddit mention a few days ago that we, the player character, are evil. And I gotta say - I dont see it. Maybe I missed something but there was nothing that we do in the story that I would fundamentally disagree with or call it evil. Maybe there is something that would change my mind in Worldslayer but I dont have the DLC yet. So what gives?
Gameplay wise:

1. What now? - genuinely. Im still below level 30 after finishing the story it automatically put my in apocalypse level 7 - which says it has enemies on level 40, I instantly downgraded to the level it was previously. It constantly says something about expeditions but also says that expeditions are only on apocalypse levels. So where do I play to level my character up a bit so I dont feel so overwhelmed.
2. Legendary gear - so I come from Destiny 2 and I was expecting Legendary gear to be something closer to exotics from there - with each having unique model and more importantly unique perks. That doesnt seem to be the case here tho. So how do I get them all?
3. Builds? So far the Minigun carried me HARD through the story and I would love to bring it to next level. Or just in general how do builds look? From what I noticed I can only change 1 perk on the gear because the other one locks away. Is there a way around that? Or I just have to hope I get a good roll?
4. Max level? - Both character level and gear level. Its hard for me to want to invest heavely into an armour set if Im just gonna find a better one in the next mission. I was using 12k gun during last fight and suddenly after it I got one with like 20k rating. That kind of increase really discourages me from getting comfortable with any piece of equipement. So what numbers should I start looking at? When does it stop? When can I start investing in a gear?
5. Can I solo it? So far any time I launch the game it immidietly tells me that matchmaking is unavailable. No prob - I was doing story solo anyway. But now it says that I should do expeditions with other people. So the question is: is that just a suggestion or hard requirement?
6. Worldslayer - It says some things are locked behind it and Im wondering if those things are worth it? Im contemplating buying it but all the negative reviews dont shine a bright light on it.

Hey everyone! I am currently a very happy owner of an OSMO Action 3. I have also owned an Action 2 and the Action 1 over the past years.
Of course I was excited when the Action 4 came out and I have been watching review and comparison videos back to back, but there's still one very important question I have before I decide to upgrade.
So with the Action 1 I fell in love with the general look of the footage, which I liked way more than what my GoPro was able to produce. The main aspects being
1) the footage never looked oversharpened, even leaning into the soft side a bit. 2) bright highlights and soft blacks - pretty much as far away from HDR as you can get. 3) tastefully saturated colors (I used Cinelike most of the time anyway) 4) soft contrast - this is huge for me because I prefer a soft and cozy image over a "hard" one.
Upgrading to the Action 2 I was kinda disappointed to find that they went for a more GoPro-ish look with this one. It was way sharper, had harsh contrast and all in all a more HDR approach to the image.
Fast forward to the Action 3, not only was I happy to go back to the "normal" Action cam form factor, I was happy to find they went back to the softer, less-HDR look with this one. I've done tons of comparisons myself and there's a huge difference between 1+3 compared to 2.
So with all that said, I know from video reviews that the Action 4 does an amazing job on the HDR side. I've seen people talking about how skies no longer get blown out, how every part of the image is "correctly" exposed and that there's so much detail in the image.
I am aware that this is what 99% of users consider as good in a camera. But I'm afraid I will miss those nice soft looks with bright highlights I get from my Action 3. Still, the larger sensor and amazing low light performance on the Action 4 is sooo tempting, because my content centers around rollercoasters and themepark rides, which can get dark a lot.
So my question is: Is there a way to get a less-HDR, less contrasty look on the Action 4? I know about sharpness levels, which is a good thing. But I haven't found any reviews that tried to go for the look that I specifically like.
Someone mentioned that changing from H.264 to H.265 (or the other way around?) makes you lose the HDR - is that true and noticable?
Thanks for any replies :)
tl:dr: I'm wondering if the Action 4 can be adjusted to create a soft, non-HDR picture even though it is designed to be more HDR and more detailed.

A long time ago, I was set on committing suicide. When I opened up to my friend about it they told me to wait until the Gizz concert. “You don’t want to miss that,” is one of the many things they said that made me begrudgingly stay alive.
That was nearly 8 months ago now, and in that time of just saying “I’ll make it to the concert, and then I’ll go,” I managed to stumble my way into much needed, professional help. I’m happy to say I haven’t had a plan to kill myself in at least 3 months. Lots of other factors kept me alive to get to that point, but the idea of seeing Gizz “at least’ll keep me going till May.”
I didn’t care about the rain, the mud, the Gates of Hell could’ve opened up and I would’ve still seen this concert. It was amazing, the setlist was incredible, the people were fantastic, the mosh pit had great energy (yet were extremely friendly), I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
I left the concert not thinking “welp, that’s it,” and that makes me so fucking happy. I’m gonna keep going, I’m gonna be happy while doing it, and I can’t wait for the next concert!
Lastly, I want to thank King Gizz for everything they do. Theorizing about the interconnected story in their songs was one of the few things that brought me happiness in a time where nothing could bring me joy. They work so hard, and no matter what they do in the future, I am so excited for it!
TL;DR: I almost killed myself, and the one thing that stopped me was the idea of seeing this Hamburg concert. Now, after seeing professionals, I was able to enjoy the concert like I’ve never enjoyed anything before :)

Nevermo agnostic here. So I’ve read about how tough it can be to go on a mission. Having to pay monthly expenses, missing family, and possibly being pretty flat broke. It’s dangerous to talk to strangers, and can be isolating.I live in a nice area on the west coast so these kids already have it relatively good. But my friend had some missionaries visit so I told her to give them my number. Here’s my question:
1) When they stop by, what would be the most helpful thing to offer them? Hot meal? Just telling them there is a single safe human in the area they can call if they ever need help? A good pair of walking shoes? A particular dish they might miss from home? I read about funeral potatoes but don’t know if those are only for funerals. They sound great.
2) Is it a terrible waste of their time if I don’t convert? I won’t. For sure. But like…if we hang out and talk and I feed and water them and say kind things, is that worth it for them? I know they are under pressure and don’t want to make things worse for them by hogging their time if they need to hit a Jesus quota.
3) Anything else I should know? My plan is not to try to change their minds about anything, I’m not a reverse missionary. But… is there anything that you wish someone had said to you? I do enjoy talking philosophy and spirituality. Is sitting around asking questions about the nature of god rude or is it the whole point?
4) we have a big temple in the area but you have to drive about 45 minutes. Do they have cars? Do they have people to take them to see cool stuff? I wasn’t sure if they would want to see it and whether they had the ability. Should I take them to six flags? I am just a freakishly enthusiastic tour guide and the idea of someone coming out to the coolest place ever just to have to work the whole time is a bummer. I want them to leave here thinking it was a great place to be. I guess it’s pride haha. But it’s like a very cool place and they’re so young they should get to make good memories.
P.s This community is a group of incredibly kind and very brave people. I love reading your stories because you inspire me to maintain my integrity, teach me about new ways of thinking, and role model supportive language in a way that I find to be really helpful. And it takes someone who is smart and determined to be willing to question what they have been taught. Lurking here is a little respite from a strange time. When corporations and the news and leadership tries to gaslight everyone in the country, you are all here examining power structures in a way that can only make things better. You guys have a lot to be proud of. Thanks for the help.

My GF of 2+ years has been acting off lately. Trying to find out I snooped on her phone. I know it's wrong.
I found her texting her friend about her meeting a lot of hot guys around lately and that she wants to fuck them and regretting being in a relationship. The messages are jokey, more like "eheh look at what I'm missing" then "I need to do something I want to fuck them". But still she's having those thoughts. She even said one asked her number, she didn't give it but took his.
Right now I'm completely numbed; I don't feel anything and a sort of flat rationality kicked in. I know that ambivalence is part of human nature, one can value his relationship and still not being indifferent to other people's actractivness. I do that too, if I meet a hot girl some primordial part of my brain tells me... unethical things... but I always chose not to listen to this part of the brain, and I'd never imagined texting my friends saying stuff like that, not even as a joke.
I also think this does not directly threath our relationship, meaning I think she still values it and won't cheat or anything, I think she was just being silly with her friend. But it still feels really wrong, and something tells me I need to run from all of this.
So I guess my question is mostly for the ladies but for the guys too, do you happen to joke like that with your friends without actually mean it? I personally doubt it but idk I'll listen to what you have to say.

Good morning from England!
To preface I write this as a 30F, no spring chicken and very recently gave myself a huge confidence boost discovering this label. Also this post will be rather ramble-y, sorry!
This post is a description of my own experiences growing up, feeling alienated and unable to talk about my own dating experiences for fear of the same responses I have been given time and time again. I wanted to write something out, because if this resonates with even a single person and helps them feel a little more "normal" then I feel it's done its job.
Firstly, you AREN'T weird, your dating style and relationship style is VALID. Maybe, like me, this is the first time you've thought this in your whole dating life.
I know this may sound basic, but this is exactly how I felt stumbling onto the "demi" term. A sudden switch in my mind has been flipped and I realize I can stop pretending that "the next guy" will be the one I want to suddenly hold hands with, or kiss, or jump into bed with. That I just haven't found someone that has the perfect look or vibe for me to want to dive on. That my fear after the third date if I am not physical with them it just wasn't meant to be and I should either force it and see, or drop it there and then. That flirting is the biggest turn off for me and that's ok! No-one else I spoke could understand why and thought it was cute, so I just stopped talking about it. My friends constantly would advise me to just keep pushing. That I was just too picky. That I need to just settle already and give guys a chance. I love them but lord, it felt so tiring.
So lets go back, throughout the years. I was brought up in a small town. A lot of close minded people, labels weren't a thing. Hell, we had never heard of autism, or spectrums, it was just "weird." Me and my friends all had a typical upbringing, one day you'll get married and buy a house and have kids. Thats the way of the world! (Not for me, never wanted kids and still don't!)
I have had... a handful of relationships. Always with people I knew beforehand over time. I would gain a crush, we would become a thing, and as soon as things got more physical I would be very suddenly repulsed by them and end it. I knew this was toxic behaviour and hated myself for it but just could NOT get past that boundary. Even when I forced myself past those boundaries, it was never enjoyable. I was never comfortable. Albeit this is also all before I turned about 25? before pandemic years, I was an overweight, unconfident gamer girl. You won't believe how many times my family (and I) have joked about sending me off to First Dates because I've really just never been interested much in finding a partner.
Friends would discuss their crushes, who they thought was hot, who they'd bang. For me, if I could name celebrities.. it was always a character they played, not them themselves. It was book characters or game characters who we had time to watch develop their personality - of course I'd never admit most of my crushes were fictional. Even now, as a 30 year old, friends will show me pictures of band members or celebs or men they think I would be good dating.. and I'd always shy away. Or think, yeah, they're technically attractive? I am not attracted myself... how can I be? I don't know these people. I don't get the sentiment of them being "hot" even if topless or posed. But I'd just nod and agree because I guess yeah, they're techincally good looking.
I pondered the idea if I was asexual, but I always knew that didn't fit.
I found major confidence moving to the city. Meeting friends who are confident in themselves, who don't judge but listen. I lost a tonne of weight, got a job I love, was very happy and had plenty going on. But still I wanted to date. But every time I tried it was disastrous, tedious and exhausting.
Online dating: I will swipe on 99.9 percent of guys, and swipe right on the VERY few that I could see were happy. I didn't swiped because"damn they're hot" but I'd think "yeah, they look like they take care of themselves and are happy, nice dress sense. Not dead in the eyes. Have friends and go outside." but on top of that their profile HAD to resonate with me. Then we would meet and I'd usually come away not wanting to see them again, always expecting that you need the date to feel atleast positive at the end. But I just... never had that. They were fine. They were meh. I could never see them again and it's no skin off my back. Everyone would tell me "you just need to give them more time" which is technically true. But the thought of "three dates and you'll absolutely know" always plagued my mind. After the first to date they'd become flirty. I'd say I need to take it slow, but usually the cute emojiis, the hand holding on the second date and pressure to be more physical would all be too much and I'd just shut it down. I hated that I felt like this every damn time.
Now, I realise, I have a label that resonates and people who are the same minded! I think. I have no idea how much this'll actually help going forward, but it makes it a lot easier to communicate that I need FRIENDSHIP first. I need time, and if they can't handle that then there's no point trying. I'd rather remain single for my days than be with someone who doesn't understand.
And guess what I now tell myself? that's ok! You don't need to feel wrong anymore. Like I will suddenly become attracted when the right person comes along. Like you just need to force through or take up that random guys offer that flirted on the street. Like I need to be flattered when someone compliments me.
I can make it about getting to know eachother. It's more about time, boundaries, communication and patience. A deep dive into knowing eachother before snuggling up.
I find myself more excited knowing I now don't have to rush, and can spend time taking it easy. Maybe go to more meetups rather than dating apps, and just keep enjoying life.
I can say I recently moved to a smaller town again thinking maybe I just need to find somewhere to settle. But being back here makes me feel like I have regressed back and I once again have itchy feet to move back to a city. However it has also caused me to do more soul searching, eventually discovering this term and suddenly, for the first time in 15-ish years.. I feel comfortable with myself. Like finding the last missing piece to the jigsaw of my brain.
Stay safe and happy, beautiful people :) My ramble is over, but if you did read it, thanks for reading!

Hi everyone. I've been making weekly youtube videos for a year now. I make silent vlogs. I share bits about my life, gardening, cooking, and where I live. I currently have 2,722 subs and a total of 93,434 views. Before I started vlogging, I was a photographer for the past 20 years. I wanted a new project/challenge, so I thought I'd try making videos and instantly fell in love! I'd love to get more views. I'm thinking about maybe talking to the camera. I feel like silent vlogs are very niche, and maybe if I do a hybrid video...start out on camera for a little chat and then go into my typical silent vlog, and then maybe close the video with another chat to audience... maybe that'd help grow my channel? But I worry about the people who enjoy it the way it is. So, I am torn.
I also feel like I am missing something, but I've done a lot of reading on how to grow my channel, and I think I have everything covered. Any secrets? ;)
Edit to add: If anyone would like to (kindly) critique my channel, please send me a message.

I'll just point it out FYI, even though stuff like this usually doesn't bother me when I'm watching something.
In episode 1, when Crystal and Charles come back to the office in London from their walk, Charles takes his coat off (right before he says "Ugh, I miss spaghetti so much...").
WHAT COAT?! It would have to be a ghost coat. It can't be real or else he would've been visible to others outside as just a floating coat that Crystal is talking to. So if it's a ghost coat, it must only be kept in existence by his mind, right?
Which makes me think about the Agency's office. It looks to be real. Scenes are shown of it as a real leased suite in a real office building. The other tenants must wonder about it: always the sound of objects being moved around at all hours (books, papers, furniture), but never any people or voices.
I figure the money that they earn from some of their clients must go to pay the office bills.
Thoughts? Theories? Info from the comics that I don't know about?

I feel off, I take anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Last weekend I did some drinking for a friends birthday. Since I was drinking, I decided to not mix the meds. I’ve done it in the past and was fine. However, I woke up feeling sick and hungover. I didn’t take my meds again for the rest of the weekend, while I recovered. I got back on track Monday and was fine. I got back into my normal routine of working out . Tuesday I was fine again. I decided workout extra hard and even went for an hour long walk afterwards. I probably did a total of 2-3 hours of fitness. Went to sleep and woke up feeling sick. I had period like cramps, and slight diarrhea. I woke up and saw this guy I was talking to, got upset that I ignored his messages and blocked me on social media.
I was confused by his actions, but I know it’s honestly for the best. It didn’t impact me as much as I thought it would, but the day just seemed to feel off.
I took a nap, hoping I’d feel better, but I still felt off with stomach cramps. I debated on calling into work, but still went in. I feel like I couldn’t form coherent sentences for part of the day and even my emails/ messages had some typos in them. I came home and tried to eat, but didn’t even enjoy the food I had. It was my favorite and I hoped it would make me feel better, but it just tasted overly seasoned.
I took another nap and still felt off when I woke up. I was communicating with different people just texting, but I began to feel sad all over again. Sad because of my dating life, knowing I’ve let men use me. Sad because I didn’t feel good enough. Sad about a lot in my life, even though I know I’m doing great. There are other things I could be working towards, but I feel like I haven’t made those steps yet.
My apartment felt filthy & I didn’t feel clean, despite me always being on top of picking up after myself. My bed felt uncomfortable and I felt disgusted being in, despite having freaky clean sheets. Now I’m in bed, just wondering what’s going on. I guess I thought side effects of missed dosages would happen immediately and stop once you start taking them again, but it didn’t. Again, I just feel really off. Is this something anyone else has experienced ? I’ve been sick before, but never in the capacity of where I feel mentally weird.

First/Previous
Carrion fowls perched along the far walls’ parapets and cawed vaguely with their red wetted beaks in whatever direction; other scavengers supped at the puddles or pecked along the softened flesh of the dead. The birds, variable vultures, hopped across the rubble and curiously side-eyed corpses and pierced the bruise-blackened bloated skins and stripped away long muscle threads and tossed them to catch, to choke back on what they’d done.
The birds which stared, looked dumbly from their perches, and watched Boss Maron (what was he a boss of anymore?) stumble around where he was. His shirt was tattered and bloodied-marks or claws shown across his forearms and his belly. He moved like a drunkard with his feet wide apart. In some commotion, he’d lost a boot and swiveled as carefully as he could when putting his bare right foot forward. My brother seemed to spawn from the mess, to arise only from his slumber at the sign of my approach and I wondered about destiny or fate and as I saw him there, as terrible as he was, he was no match if not for the pistol which hung from the holster on his hip.
In getting closer, I saw the band from his hat had burst and so hung stringlike from the brim and dangled with his footfalls by the eyepatch he wore.
A series of collapsed, nearly unrecognizable apartments had fallen and been flattened or forced to bend in jagged directions; old catwalk rails jutted from the spot of destruction like a mad spider’s legs—an unsettling image. This seemed to have been the place Maron took refuge from the attack.
Wherever I went, it seemed that death was either fast approaching or near ahead so I never could tell from what direction to expect it; but expecting death itself was sometimes enough. I took to a white and curved piece of stone dilapidation—likely a piece from the hydro towers—and used it to purchase higher ground and saw Maron stumble nearer. Through the new byways created by the destruction, he remained slow and struggled and remained so far out that I was uncertain whether he saw me.
The hiss of spitting broken water pipes filled the lulls between the bird calls. The sun was deep yellow against the red sky. The wind was cool and held me aloft like a puppet.
Precariously, I hunkered at my elevated position and rummaged through my satchel but found nothing. Instead, I left it there in that spot and climbed carefully to the earth and unbuckled the belt from around my waist and held it whip-ready, opposite the buckle-end; it was a thin and cheap thing but perhaps good enough. I moved toward my brother, openly. Whatever would be.
Forty yards separated us and there was enough of an area of open earth among the piled collections of destruction; he still looked like a shadow, like a half-illusion of a man against the backdrop of interlocking wreckage.
“Hey!” I called.
Maron stopped where he was and craned his head forward; dust rose from around his feet then settled. “Harlan?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“I can’t see you too good, you know.” Maron scratched his right eye with a rotating knuckle; the skin seemed irritated. “Those bugs itch like a bitch, don’t they?”
“So they say,” I spat between where I’d spaced my legs.
He placed his hand on the handle of the revolver which stood out on his hip. “I could kill you, Harlan. I’ve got a clear shot here.”
“Yeah.”
“You’d deserve it, especially after what you did.” His voice was gravelly; he coughed and wiped his mouth with a forearm.
I took a small step forward and Maron removed the revolver from its holster but kept it pointed to the ground.
I shook my head and remained still again. “What about after all you did?”
“Me?” he laughed sickly, “You’re one to talk. I guess there’s no hiding it anymore. I was ashamed of you. You—cavortin’ with demons—that’s all you do. I think I saw you speak to them a couple times. I feel like you whisper to them in your sleep. I knew what kind of man you were all this time and I let you go on.”
“You let me, huh?” I glanced to the sky and breathed deep and listened to the birds. A tight-lipped expression pulled my face almost like a smile and I gritted my teeth. “Here I thought I let you.”
Maron laughed again wetly and remained with his gun down. The gunmetal shone bright as silver from either cleaning or handling; it was good to know he’d taken care of it at least.
“I cried about you,” I said—some roiling thing rolled over in the pit of my stomach.
“So?” he asked the sky.
I closed the space between us by a quarter or more and stopped. “So, did you ever cry about me? Did you ever cry about them?” The trailing end of my sentence nearly broke my voice, and I abruptly finished the words to protest it.
Maron shrugged. “’Course I did. All the time. For them. For you?” He shook his head. In the light—just so—his right eye glowed white; blood trickled from around the bottom eyelid from over-rubbing while yellow infection oozed from the bottom of the patch over his left eye. “Somethin’s wrong in you. You did something. I know you did. Maybe you prayed to them things. Maybe you asked for it—Lady did weird seances before she,” with his free hand, he twirled a finger by his ear. “Maybe you spoke to them and did what you did. All that good and evil talk that Jackson went on about doesn’t matter anymore,” Maron shrugged then nodded and wriggled his mustache in thought.
“You used to call him dad,” I said.
“We didn’t have any dads, you and me. Looking back now, I see our mother—if she was—was the worst about it. We were some ragtag bunch of monster hunters? There ain’t any good and evil in this world and that’s a fact. It’s all just livin’.”
“What made you that way?”
“What way’s that, Harlan?” He sighed.
“I thought you’d be a good man. You were a sweet boy.”
“I guess.” His blind gaze trailed away, watched the birds on the far walls, and his uncovered bleeding eye blinked slowly and with effort; he rubbed it again and smeared blood across his cheek and blinked more and seemed to focus. “What makes you sure you’re a good man?”
“I ain’t.”
“I didn’t figure you were.” His eye traced the scenery, seemed to look everywhere and beyond me even. “You do all this too? You call down your buddies for all this? I was afraid of you for a long time. Now I know I was right.”
“Mm. I didn’t.”
“Quite the coincidence that you’d hang and then all this happens to stop it. Nice for you. Look around at all them bodies. Tell me it’s worth it. I know you and I know what you are. Harold didn’t believe it—hell I didn’t want to believe it. Here we are.”
I shook my head and felt silly standing there and holding my belt like a dead snake by my side. “It wasn’t too long ago I thought similarly of you. I thought you’d been some possessed thing, something that wasn’t my brother anymore. Like you said. Here we are. I was blind for so long and I thought it couldn’t be that you’d be this way all on your own. I saw you grow into something unrecognizable,” My shoulders rolled with a shrug. “What’s it matter? What’s any of it matter? You thought I was some witch and I thought maybe some demon hijacked your body! What’s it matter? It doesn’t. I don’t care if you are who you are because of me or because of this world—it’s over. And here we are.” I took a gulp of air; it was rotten. “I loved you. I saw something change in you and blamed myself, blamed the demons; maybe you were a mutant! Bah! It’s just you. Whatever you are is just you—doesn’t really matter what made it. I don’t know how I could cry over someone like that. I just don’t know.”
Maron nodded at me, and I took a step forward; the Boss sheriff leveled the long barrel Colt in my direction. The sun beat down and I took another step forward and another until I was pacing, shoulders moving in tandem with each step—though my left knee twinged, it wasn’t pain; there was too much adrenaline for pain. The gun erupted, broke the dead air, a few birds cawed and flapped away but mostly remained and looked on with apathetic curiosity. I stood still. Maron missed, took aim again, and I began to further close the gap.
The pistol rang again; my imagination insisted I felt the breeze from the bullet. I did not care. Here we were and here it would be. Again, twice more, the gun cried out; the last of that duo spiked the earth up at my feet and sent dust into the air; I passed through it.
With Maron nearly in arm’s reach, I reared with the belt—remaining with my right leg on the backfoot—I swung the strap out like a whip and felt the belt slack as the buckle met Maron’s nose.
He stumbled backward, fired another round into the air and my ears rang and I launched into him.
With him being weak and feeble and ill and tired as he was, he fell slowly in the way that people do when they attempt to stop themselves from going. He spun on his naked heel and landed on his knees, hands in the dirt, revolver hilt loosely clamped in his fist. I sent a boot to his stomach and from seemingly nowhere a wild scream came from me—it was a moment of human satisfaction.
He laughed there on the ground, and it was so like gasping for air that I wasn’t sure that’s what I heard. “I hit you once, I see only just a bit out of the right and I still hit you!”
The numbness forgave a moment of pain—a jolt ran up my left arm. Without a moment afforded to inspect myself, I launched another kick just as he came around to raise his head. My boot caught his chin and clicked his teeth together; blood ran like a spigot from his mouth while the cowboy hat tumbled off the crown of his head and landed in the dirt beside him.
His eyepatch came unplaced from his left eye and rested over his brow before the strings came loose and the object fell off him. The black hole there in his head shone starkly when he calmed his head to look up at me; the other eye was milk white.
“I’m dying,” he said, “I’m dying, but I’m a pretty good shot, ain’t I?”
I didn’t say anything and placed my heel on his shoulder and propelled him over, so he fell onto his back. There on the ground, the pistol lay. I bent and dropped the belt and lifted the pistol— a single shot left. The thing was heavier than the metal it was.
Maron lifted up again and spoke, “I’m dying,” he repeated, “I’m dying.” His head rocked forward and back in exaggeration.
I shoved him down again, remembered the bodies he hung, remembered the people he assaulted, remembered the tortures—with him looking up at me though, I briefly remembered the boy behind that man’s face. I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t.
“I see a little out of the right, Harlan—like I said. C’mere a minute. Just a minute. Or a second even. All I want is a second. C’mere and let me see you a little clear for just one second.”
I never was a good shot anyway, but that wouldn’t have mattered; I angled the revolver out from my body. He craned his head up for a better look maybe—like a varmint from a hole—and when he did, I fired the last shot and even though he’d grown so large in my mind, he still fell over like any man would. Blood spurted then trailed from his head; I swallowed a noise back.
Warm pain radiated from my left bicep, and I knew what it was; I threw back my jacket, so it hung only off my right shoulder and examined the spot. The notch was swollen, the flesh was gnarly and leaked. I cupped the heel of my hand to the wound while still holding the revolver and felt my heartbeat in it. Nothing stitches wouldn’t fix. So, Maron was a good shot. I lumbered over the corpse and stared into the one solid eye. Even blind, he got me once.
I sighed and half-straddled the corpse and ripped the gun belt off his waist and shoved it under my armpit then waddled over the dead man to the hat that’d fallen in the dirt. Our mother’s hat fit loose on my head, but her old belt slotted around me snug.
The wound didn’t clot, and blood ran in webs down my forearm and across the back of my hand. I shifted to look to the place I’d left the satchel and I saw an audience there—the underground survivors followed me out; they were arranged like tin solders frozen among the rubble outcroppings. Mal was there and nearest me. She called something out, but I didn’t respond. I shook my head as if to let them know I didn’t care and began to walk towards the piece of white rock. The broken band of the hat fell into the periphery of my left eye like a wayward strand of hair.
I slung the revolver into the holster on my hip and kept my right hand to my left bicep and gritted my teeth at the growing pain. Ointments were in the satchel and bandages and a bit of liquor—wizard brand.
Mal rushed out to me and slammed into me, and nearly put me over and the others too began to clamor off their perches—how they looked at me just like the birds.
Mal slammed her hands onto my shoulders. “You just killed and robbed him.”
I laughed. “Alright.”
“Why?”
I saw the boy—William—too had come and he remained among the small crowd that came around me.
“This needs treating,” I angled my head at the wound I held.
“What’d you kill him for?” asked Mal, again.
I ignored her, pushed beyond, and whispered something about going home.
The levels to the satchel were slow going and the people spoke amongst themselves, and I slammed my bottom onto the flat elevation and began to clean and wipe down. I fumbled with my right hand and kept my neck twisted just so and pried the wound a bit with my index finger and thumb. Blood ripped out of the spot, and I laughed and stopped and rewiped. Inside of the satchel there was a handheld staple gun. I put it to the spot, trying to keep the swollen opening closed. After a few overzealous clicks, I sighed and dropped the staple gun into the satchel.
From where I was, Maron looked small.
Like a whisper on the wind, I heard, I brought him to you one last time. Bravo! Well done!
I twisted around lackadaisically searching for the point of the voice and didn’t find it. “Stupid,” I whispered to myself.
Then I popped casually to my feet, felt the mild blood loss send me dizzy and I momentarily felt like I’d fall over and break my neck in front of all those fine people—what a laugh riot!
Mal’s incredulous expression was obvious even with the distance. “Hey!” I called out to Mal, to all of them, “I’m going home.”
“Where’s home?” asked someone.
“C’mon with me if you want.”
Some wanted and some didn’t, and we gathered twenty strong and Mal and William were among them. Lady surprisingly decided to fall along with those of us that left. Those that remained certainly died, but who’s to say?
All the horses were dead and even in searching for the oil wagon I’d rode in on, I couldn’t find it. Walking never bothered me anyway. When I grew tired, I used some discarded metal post as a third leg. We walked it and I thought it felt like a pilgrimage—damn all other religiosity. I hoped for the one and true religion: love.
Seven died westward. William succumbed to the skitterbugs and I managed to bury him even while others regarded the practice with apathy. Mal went quickly by a skin taker, and yet Lady remained; she was a hanger-on.
The only one that mattered to me was the one waiting for me—if they still waited. I hoped they did.
We saw Alexandria at dawn after many days of travel. Upon the sight of the arch along the skyline, whispers came over our group and one fellow wondered aloud if the arch was the source of all the magic the wizards knew. Lady rebutted the claim and cursed at the thought of it. Still though, she followed. I mindlessly told them it was the gateway to the west but that didn’t mean a thing to anybody at all.
Point-hatted scouts saw us and let us through while the sky was still waking. The nerves in my body danced like bugs. Whatever negative providence that’d taken over my life was gone at last. Though the weight remained, perhaps I could let it go with time. I wanted to.
Seeing Suzanne like that, still tired and yawning and even brow furrowed, I stumbled into them and pressed their face to mine, and I told them I’d never let them go and I told them it was over, and Suzanne asked me where the wagon was.
I didn’t have an answer for that and instead buried my nose behind their ear.
All they asked me then was, “Really, it’s over?”
“It’s over. I’m better now. Well—I might not be better, but I will be.”
A fat dog brushed my leg, and it was Trouble—the animal was kept on a lead by Gemma which tugged on the collar just a bit to keep the dog from tangling the lead around our legs. The girl beamed and I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen her so genuine as that. Her face was rounded from health.
I pulled Suzanne into another hug and hushed, “My legs are tired now.” We kept our arms around each other; I hoped they didn’t want to let me go just like how I didn’t want to let them go. The only thing that hurt was knowing I’d hurt Suzanne.
It felt ridiculous because it was, but I was an optometrist finally. It wouldn’t be easy, but I saw everything very clearly.
First/Previous
Archive

For reference, I work as a manager at a small nonprofit providing services to people with intellectual disabilities and am planning to quit in the upcoming weeks. Toxic workplace, overworked and underpaid, etc. My mental health has declined significantly while at this position and I’ve fallen behind on some documentation required like patient medical records and budget reports. I was given a warning about it after my supervisor did a quality check and saw that my records were insufficient and I was put on a performance plan. They mentioned “gross negligence” in my warning. I do plan to complete what I can before I leave, but I just don’t have everything that my manager is requiring.
My question is: If the company is audited and the records are found to be insufficient, can I be held liable?
Honestly just want to get out of this job and want to get as much done as I can but potential repercussions are giving me so much anxiety. Like, worst case scenario if a client were to lose all their money somehow and they look back and see that financial records for when I was responsible for them are missing. Or if a client gets seriously ill and dies and they’re missing a record of a medical appointment.

I was last in Thailand in 2019. I spent most of my time training Muay Thai and working from my place of stay so I didn't get out much those couple of months. I was also going through a bit of a mental health crisis (hence why I went there in the first place), so I was mostly focused on myself.
I noticed much like my heritage country of the Philippines, there is a lot of poverty. I knew Thailand wasn't a wealthy country before I went there, of course.
One individual that sticks to my mind was this homeless old lady sitting on the road outside the night market asking for money. She seemed like she'd be in ther late 80s or early 90s, and strongly reminded me of my own grandma whom I missed dearly. She literally looked like her. I always saw her and whenever I could, I'd give her about 120-150 Baht to make sure she'd have enough to get something to eat and drink. She seemed like she may have had dementia.
I didn't see her every night but she was there often.
My host told me it's unlikely anyone starves to death as that would be very extreme.
Idk, I really hoped she'd be okay. My grandmother had a tragic life, despite how good of a person she was. That old woman reminded me of her greatly.
As I return to working in social services, I start to have my soft spot again to people in need.

Let me preface this by mentioning that I typically have a pleasant time flying with Southwest and prefer to do so anytime the option is available. Forgive me if it’s a little choppy, I’m so exhausted lol
Today (05/22) I experienced the worst chain of events coupled by the worst “compensation” for these events. I am typing this from the airport in Nashville because the Hotel vouchers they gave to everyone on our flight out of Houston (Flight #1799) were not accepted by any of the hotels they sent us back and forth from.
Today my girlfriend and I were meant to begin our 4 day vacation to NYC. Flight 1799 departed from Houston —> Nashville, a connecting flight at ~2:00 PM CST. We hit more and more turbulence the closer we got to our destination, Pilot comes on and announces that the airport ultimately has stopped accepting incoming planes — we stay up in the air about half an hour while we try to beat the weather. Still a no-go, pilot announces we’re instead landing in Atlanta to figure out a game plan for everyone’s connecting flights. At this point, the majority of us have missed our flights to NYC.
We arrive in Atlanta and remain on the plane for about an hour, different people enter the plane to announce things (a few people were able to make it to their connecting flights via a new flight from Atlanta, lucky duckies). At about 7:00 PM CST we’re clear to make the flight back to Nashville, but not before the Captain announces some bad news, there is a major issue with some of the plane’s equipment and we will need to move planes entirely. We do so, this takes about another hour. Once everyone is settled, the Captain comes back on with some more news — for everyone who missed their flights, we would all be compensated with a hotel for the night, since all our new flights to New York would be in the early morning. Yay! Captain also mentions we’d receive some vouchers for all the trouble and is sincerely apologetic about the situation, everyone seems to be understanding, I know we were!
We arrive in Nashville at about 10:00 PM, everyone on board is jovial and lighthearted about the situation (more so excited to finally be off an airplane I bet lol). We receive our hotel vouchers from the Southwest Airlines ladies and instructions on where to collect our bags, where to be picked up by the shuttle, etc. Some groups are sent to different Hotels. The hotels they sent us to don’t accept us. None of them. They have none of us in any of their systems. My voucher specifically mentioned a hotel room with “Sonesta Select”. The lady at the front desk of this Sonesta Select is completely lost, they weren’t made aware of any of these reservations and didn’t even have any rooms. They do mention that they see 10 rooms booked at the nicer variant of their hotel — the “Sonesta” — a ray of hope! We all load back into the shuttle and make our way. This hotel is way fancier, but it’s midnight now and we all just want to rest. They tell us there’s no rooms reserved for any of us, and our vouchers all mention “Sonesta Select”, they could lose their jobs for booking us rooms. They suggest we go back to the airport and have Southwest correct this. Customer Service over the phone was not helpful.. they suggested we try at the airport as well, but upon arrival they tell us our only option is to book the hotels and file a claim. We’re all beat, there’s over a dozen of us here all just spending the night at the airport instead.. Everyone from different hotel vouchers experienced the same thing.
our flight is at 10 AM and I feel so defeated.
Any suggestions here, guys? I’ve got nothing but time lol

I am a 17 year old girl. I have always been an extremely shy and quiet person. I have zero social skills and I struggle to make conversations with people. I have no idea what to talk about, what to ask, how to ask. I have a constant fear that if I were to say something stupid, people will laugh at me or that people will not take my words seriously. I have been constantly asked by teachers, family and friends to start talking more but I just don't know how to.
If I see someone in distress, especially family members, I have no idea how to comfort them. The thought of saying or doing something comforting feels cringy to me.
I also struggle in expressing my emotions. I feel like my constant emotion is always "meh". I can't even remember the last time I felt genuinely happy.
When I sit in the living room with my family, I always just want to go back to my room and sit alone in a corner. My family always discourages this habit as I do this a lot. Sometimes I also feel like one of the reasons I don't want to talk to them is because we have different values and outlooks on certain matters, and since I have no speaking skills, I can't express my point well and I just end up looking like an idiot.
Deep down, I feel like I do love my family, but I don't feel a strong sense of love for them? I don't even miss them when they're away nor do I feel like I want to talk to them. I'm always curious when I see people expressing strong love for their families because I've never experienced that feeling.
Lastly, sorry for the long post! (I just want a friend 😔)

Long post, but I have to get it out.
17 years ago, I found a little 4 month old pup online and was lucky enough to get her out of a rough situation before it was too late. Since then, she has been by my side and has never been away from me for even a full day.
Up until recently, she was extremely healthy. So much so that people routinely thought she was 3-5 years old. But that has unfortunately changed quickly.
Suddenly (past couple months), she is showing her age and is losing weight and muscle mass. She is eating and drinking normally but has begun to become confused and anxious and occasionally struggles to walk.
I have taken her to be checked up, and they attributed her changes to her old age and sent me on my way. I don't know what to do anymore and I think I'm about to have to put my best friend down.
We lost basically everything during Covid shutdowns. Wound up homeless for quite a while, bouncing from my car to motel rooms and somehow made it out. I'm extremely thankful that what may be her final months were spent in a home with a yard and a couple of other dogs. Not in a motel room or my car, lonely. It doesn't make it hurt any less, though.
I have dreaded this for a very long time, and I know I'm not ready to lose her. I can't even write this without crying. I can't imagine life without my girl, but I also know she is getting to the point where I'm going to have to let her go.
Maybe it is horrible to think, I don't know, but I always hoped that when I did lose her, it would be her going peacefully in her sleep. The pain would be unbearable, but at least her final moments wouldn't be at the vet scared.
I don't know how I'm going to handle waking up and having her not be there, coming home and not seeing the excited little wiggles. It's hard to think about all of the little things I'm going to miss.
The end is near, and it pains more than I could ever put into words. I know I can handle this on my own.

Now - I want to make a very clear distinction here, cause the term friendzone can be very easily used the wrong way. In other words, if you have feelings for someone and they don’t have feelings for you and you remain friends and you respect friendly platonic boundaries - you are not in the friendzone, you’re just friends and if you still have feelings at that point that’s something you have to work on.
with that out of the way, I knew this girl, and around 4 meetings in I was starstruck by her. I confessed my feelings and she said she wanted to remain friends. I genuinely enjoyed her company and friendship, so I agreed.
Now, I did need more time to move on and I did neglect that, however, I noticed that through our initial stages of friendship, she showed no interest…. until I actually started to move on. Suddenly, she became more flirty and touchy. This re-ignited my interest, until months passed by and I began to move on again and same thing, she’d throw in that life line. Finally, the third and last time this happened and it went farther than before - we were dancing drunk, she grinded on me and kissed me, she even straight up said “you can have anyone you want” to me. This obviously reeled me in and I invited her over at the end of the night (after she asked me multiple times to see my cat), she declined and I thought “probably for the better, i thought we were just friends and we are both confused”
Days later i hear from my best friend that she’s basically began a character assassination campaign against me,
no accusations - just a bunch of character judgments that made me out to be a creep for asking her to come up that night, claiming all she remembers was me asking her up and that she did nothing to push things over (thankfully i had told my best friend what happened and he saw some of what happened in the club - so he thought something fishy was going on). I later find out from another friend that she confessed to her about purposely leading me on whenever she did feel like I was moving, as a form of “feeling guilty”. Neither me nor any of my friends talk to her now. I’m thankful for this.
Anyway, this got me thinking, “why would someone do this? why would someone keep leading em on like this?” of course - the answer is validation.
Now, here is the detriment of being in what I would call the friendzone; you miss out on so many opportunities because you’re so focused on a person who is just using you for their own validation. I’ve been in parties where women were interested in me but seeing her turn up the interest deterred me from these women. I had a coworker who i had a lot of interest in and her in me, but because of this active reeling me back in I dismissed things with the coworker. I half assed a ton of online dates because as soon as she found out I was going on these dates, she turned up the fake interest.
If you see someone periodically showing interest, especially when you’re truly moving on. Cut them off, get rid of them. Not only are you constantly being gaslit but you’re also missing out on so many opportunities because you’re emotionally being played with. It took me 30 years to finally learn this, and I know the feeling of perceived reciprocation is nice, but it isn’t worth it.
Now, months have passed and I’ve only recently been able to fully reflect on it and what has happened. My dating life has improved immensely. So do yourself a favor and cut such people out. You’ll be better off.