Skull cap baby hat patterns

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Lov om forsvarlig hundehold (Hundeloven)
Forskrift om hunder (Hundeforskriften)
Kom til å tenke over disse lovtekstene etter at Shetlandsponnien Bonnie ble jaget og skambitt av en hund for noen dager siden. En "stor svart løshund" tok seg inn i innhegningen hvor den drektige hesten var på oppfôring og gikk målrettet til verks, med minst 20-30 individuelle bitt.
Det første som slår meg er naturligvis hvor unødvendig det er, og at totalbelastningen fra episoden kan føre til at både hest og føll dør (per nå ikke bekreftet hverken den ene eller andre veien). Det andre er hvor ekstremt sjelden slike episoder faktisk skjer i Norge i forhold til de fleste andre land, takket være gode lover. Hva som blir utfallet for hundens del er heller ikke bekreftet, men anmeldelse skal være levert og saken kommer til å bli vurdert etter Hundelovens §18a.
Her er et par utdrag fra Hundeloven og Hundeforskriften som jeg mener har spart samfunnet for mye skade og død som følge av hundebitt:

• Hundeloven §19 og Hundeforskriften §1: Det er forbudt å holde, avle eller innføre farlige hunder, eller å innføre sæd eller embryo fra farlige hunder. Det angis en liste på fem spesifikke hunderaser som er forbudt (uansett blandingsforhold), men av åpenbare grunner unnlater jeg å gjengi dem i klartekst.

Dette er hunderaser som volder enorm skade mot mennesker, kjæledyr, husdyr, vilt, og materielle eiendeler i en rekke land. Mest utbredt i USA, Brasil og Italia, men de finnes også i land som Sverige, Storbritannia, Nederland, Frankrike m. fl.
Årsaken til at vi har forskjellige hunderaser er at helt siden ulven ble temmet og det symbiotiske felleskapet mellom hund og menneske begynte, så har vi har avlet dem som bruksdyr til spesifikke formål. Dyktige hunder (gode gener) får lov til å formere seg (fordi vi tillater det), mens dårlige gener fases ut. Denne typen kunstig seleksjon i kombinasjon med svært mange generasjoner på kort tid gjør at vi har hunder som har blitt spesialister på visse arbeidsoppgaver. Mennesker har formet dem til å bli sånn. Det er derfor retrievere liker å bære ting skånsomt i munnen, at gjeterhunder instinktivt begynner å gjete andre dyr, at vakthunder varsler på ukjente lyder, at fuglehunder indikerer fugl, etc.
Dessverre finnes det også andre arbeidsoppgaver som det drives avl på. Avskyelige ting som lever i beste velgående selv om det offisielt er forbudt nesten overalt, nemlig en variant av blodsport som heter hundekamp. Blodsport pleide å involvere menneskeslaver som slåss enten mot andre menneskeslaver eller dyr, men dette ble etter hvert forbudt. Deretter var det dyr mot andre dyr, som for eksempel hund mot okse (bull). I nær fortid og frem til i dag har det hovedsakelig dreid seg om hund mot hund i en svært liten kamparena (pit). Det er et lukket miljø med pengespill, interne regler og interne statuselementer, og én av tingene som gir status er å vinne hundekamper, dvs. at din hund dreper den andre hunden. Suksess avler bokstavelig talt suksess på samme måte som hos andre hunderaser, og over relativt kort tid har oppdrettere kombinert ulike egenskaper for å lage de mest effektive drapsmaskinene i arenaen. En lang rekke fysiske og psykiske egenskaper er møysommelig utvalgt og avlet på for å prestere best mulig i en dødskamp med andre hunder.
Et eksempel er at normale hunder generelt kan kommunisere med kroppsspråk på tvers av raser. Selv om de fysiske forskjellene kanskje er store er ikke rasene så forskjellige at de ikke forstår hverandre lenger. Men for kamphunder er uforutsigbarhet og uleselighet et konkurransefortrinn som kan bety forskjellen mellom liv og død. I situasjoner hvor en normal hund gradvis eskalerer for å forsvare seg selv hopper kamphunder glatt over hele eskaleringsstigen. Det er ikke lenger knurring, bjeffing, flekke tenner, bite litt, bite hardt, trekke seg unna. Det er ingenting, ingenting, ingenting, drepe, fortsette å drepe med livet som innsats.
Det leder til neste eksempel som er overlevelsesinstinkt og selvivaretakelse. Alle normale rovdyr vurderer risiko i forhold til belønning. Ofte er det simpelthen ikke verdt å fortsette fordi det er for risikabelt. For eksempel en løve som avbryter jakten på en vannbøffel fordi den fikk en penetrasjonsskade i låret fra et horn. Eller to hanndyr av en eller annen art som slåss om retten til å parre seg, og etter litt "lett knuffing" trekker den tapende part seg unna. Til forskjell fra dette er kamphunder avlet for å ikke gi opp uansett hva som skjer. Hjernekjemien er konfigurert for å gi mer vesentlig mer belønning fra å slåss enn det som er normalt for naturlig selekterte rovdyr. Hvis de har siktet seg inn på et mål skal det ekstremt mye til for å ta fokus bort fra oppgaven. Ikke engang pistolskudd (i kropp, ikke varselskudd) er garantert å være tilstrekkelig for å stoppe prosessen.
På "scorekortet" for en kamphundoppdretter er det typisk psykiske egenskaper som høy kampvilje, høy aggressivitet, høy smerteterskel, lav selvivaretakelse, høy uforutsigbarhet, og fysiske egenskaper som stort og kraftig hode, stort og kraftig bitt, muskuløs kropp, kort pels, små øyne og ører (minimere svake punkter). Vinner man nok kamper og blir kåret til Grand Champion kan man gi opphav til tusenvis av avkom. Og siden de mest suksessfulle hundene blir foreldre til flest valper vil disse genene over tid få høy representasjon i rasen.
Den naturlige konklusjonen i denne problemstillingen, som også er årsaken til at Hundeforskriften har et kapittel om det, er at hunderaser som er avlet for bruk i hundekamp ikke er hunderaser man ønsker å ha i samfunnet fordi de utgjør en fare for omgivelsene. Mange har likevel stor sympati for disse hundene, men det er i de fleste tilfeller både misforstått og malplassert. Det vanligste argumentet er at det er eieren som er problemet og ikke hunden, gjerne med et bilde sin av egen hund med en blomsterkrans på hodet ved siden av en baby og ironisk tekst à la "å, se så farlig han er". Svaret er at begge deler er problemet. Det genetiske grunnlaget er hva det er. Hundene kan ikke noe for at mennesker har avlet frem disse egenskapene. For dem er det like naturlig å slåss og drepe som det er naturlig for en gjeterhund å gjete. Skal man være sint på en hund fordi den gjør det den er skapt for å gjøre? Det får man spørre ofrene om. Det er skadepotensialet som er problematisk, og det er enormt. Samtidig er det visse antisosiale personlige egenskaper som gjør at noen velger å skaffe seg hund fra disse rasene (både "renraset" og blandingsvarianter) i stedet for å skaffe seg hvilken som helst annen hund. Kombinasjonen av de dårligste eierne og hundene med det største skadepotensialet gjør situasjonen ekstra dårlig på steder hvor det er tillatt å eie dem. Og det er det heldigvis ikke i Norge.

• Fra Hundeloven: Kapittel 5. Personers rettigheter og plikter i nøds- og faresituasjoner & Kapittel 6. Sikkerhetstiltak mot problematisk hundehold

Selv om paragrafen fra Hundeforskriften filtrerer bort 99% av problemene man ser mye av i visse andre land, så inneholder Hundeloven en velutstyrt verktøykasse med tiltak i tilfelle noe likevel skulle skje. Loven har til hensikt å ivareta godt hundehold, og fremme dyrevelferd, respekt for og kunnskap om hunder. Mye handler om å utvise aktsomhet og sørge for at hunden ikke blir satt i en situasjon hvor den kan utøve skade, men hvis noe skulle skje har privatpersoner rett til å gjøre nødvendige inngrep for å avverge skade, i ytterste konsekvens avlivning. Politiet har rett til å iverksette både forebyggende og akutte tiltak, alt fra å gi påbud om utbedring av hundehold, bøter og forbud mot at personer kan eie hunder, til å omplassere, eller i verste fall avlive hunder.

• Til slutt en liten oppmerksomhet til Dyrevelferdslovens §25

Den handler om avl og sier blant annet at "det skal ikke drives avl, herunder ved bruk av genteknologiske metoder, som: a. endrer arveanlegg slik at de påvirker dyrs fysiske eller mentale funksjoner negativt, eller som viderefører slike arveanlegg". Det har i første omgang ført til et forbud mot avl av Cavalier King Charles Spaniel som har utfordringer med at kraniet er for lite i forhold til hjernen, og at det fører til komplikasjoner og smerte selv om de ser søte ut. Til tross for dette gjelder forbudet kun for avl, og det er fortsatt lov å eie, kjøpe og innføre fra utlandet. Per nå "fremdeles syk hund, bare med ekstra steg", men et steg i riktig retning.

Right there with ya, pal. I have a little nook in my skull that I've teased bigger and bigger over the years and only just recently, I'm able to squeeze in the first third or so of a 9-volt battery, enough so that it stays in place without me needing to hold it there. And wow. That's really the only way to describe it. Maybe there's any interaction between the battery things and the salt socket behind my ear and between my jaw bone and skull, but wow. I stay tingling, baby. That little battery just gives it to me sweet and sassy all the live long day, people be catching me spluttering my words and work, because those 9 v's really sizzle my gizzle, and a little spittle gathers round my bubber's lips as they keep the quivering juicy looseness yummy little electric flow to the dome with the warm radiation washing sensation through my gooey galunker making me ooze my stuff all over the chair staying straight up goopy goofy giga-drooling string of a liquid satisfaction catching drips all over my pants as that battery burns baby burns earning my lolling fat another howdy doody, a blathering buddy boy over here slowly spinning 'round and 'round slopping thoughts here then there then here then there and barely hearing my boss lady berating my senseless blobbiness, an amoeba squirting yummy gumbo fresh from the melting bone hole bored in my wobbly wunker witha fat 9-volt battery hum-bum-buzzing sweet current like liquid goosh that my humid brain greedily gulps. Oh, I tell ya. It's the best.

https://preview.redd.it/kzvsrks49k4d1.png?width=1180&format=png&auto=webp&s=142ae453a754f46c5fd4b01b839eb623516a414e
If Callum reopened his PO box, I would have suggested sending him stuff from Ian Moore's merch shop. However, £30 for a pair of socks or a mug is insane....

Long post. Sorry.
He's a good guy, but he's made some bad choices recently and let his emotions take charge sometimes.
We've been together going on 15 years now. He's in construction. I'm a teacher who doesn't make enough money. We have two small children.
Taking it back about 10 years, his boss at the time, when he worked in a warehouse was in our wedding. We took a 2 week Honeymoon to Thailand. When we got back, he'd been demoted from his manager position because we'd been gone too long. He was bery upset about this and let his emotions show this at work. He had a PO'd, upset attitude regularly. I told him if he kept that up, he was going to get fired. He acknowledged I was right, but didn't change. He was fired. So he pivoted and is now in construction.
He's done pretty great at that. A few years ago, at a different job, there was someone who was picking on him and my husband refused to pick up this guy's trash when a manager asked him to pick it up and that got him written up. He ended up being let go because he keeps notes about everything and he went to HR to appeal and they thought he was a snitch with his notes and let him go.
At his most recent job, he was asked to train a new guy. The new guy kept doing this one thing wrong. At first, my husband was fixing it. Then, he explained what they guy was doing wrong to him. Then, he told him he would need to be fixing these mistakes on his own. The guy was on a lift and my husband's back was turned and a large wire hit him in the head and knocked off his hat. He turned around and asked him if he had thrown it at him. The guy denied it and my husband said "Alright, if you say it was an accident, I believe you." And continued about his day, but this guy wouldn't let it go. He confronted my husband later saying things like "That was nothing! You're such a baby. I can't believe you thought I threw that at you! Do you know what I could do to you?" My husband respectfully told him "You said it was an accident, ok. I believe you, but let's just not talk to each other for the rest of the day. If you need help, I will help you, but other than work stuff, I don't want to talk."
This guy kept coming back to pester him and got him to where he was coming down off a lift and blocked him in and started with this stuff again. My husband, seeing no way out, when the guy kept telling him it was nothing and my husband was such a baby, knocked the guys hard hat with a similar force and asked "Is this nothing?"
It went to the supervisor and he no longer has a job.
People are telling me that people talked and he may be black balled in our state now. I'm even worried he might never get another job.
It was stupid. It was so stupid and I can't believe he did this. Years in this profession and I'm worried he just threw it all away.
I've always been told once you're fired it's hard to get another job. Then, if you take the reason for it--if people talk..
We have two small children. We rent, and are living paycheck to paycheck as it is. I can't support us on my salary.
I'm wondering if I will have to get another job.
Do people come back from something like this??? How??? Is his situation hopeless??? I'm having so much anxiety and depression over this.
Would it help if we moved to the other side of the country?
Please know that I am aware of how incredibly stupid it was for my husband to do this, but if anyone is aware of something like this that turned out OK somehow, or any advice, it would be appreciated.
Thank you.

I am a gentleman in need of a hat that's fashionable but not too formal. What are some good shops in town that shall fit my needs? I don't want to go to some mall store and buy a branded cap. I'd like a place that has experts who will give me good recommendations

TW:mention of miscarriage, suicide and self harm
Here it goes. I’m gonna be very vulnerable and honest here. Sorry for the very very very long post btw hope you read it till the end.
I (19F) got close with a guy (21M) from tinder. We spent a couple weeks talking and he told me he liked me and asked if I wanted a relationship in future and I said I needed to meet him in person first before deciding. After he nagged for a couple of weeks until we finally met up. Immediately he was trying to sleep with me. Which I was in the mood so kinda let it happen. Then we went on a couple dates. He then a couple times after seeing me said he thought I only wanted him for superficial reasons. He said he kinda lost feelings for me but even then we were still hooking up and one time it slipped out him saying he liked me I did address it but he said he was joking. He then told me a relationship wouldn’t work out also because I had too many guys going after me and also I wouldn’t like his home country if he we were to move back there. So I guess we decided to be friends even with a little feelings there.
A couple week later I mentioned to him during a conversation that I hadn’t gotten my period but at the same time my IUD might’ve been doing it. So he told me to go get a test. I took the test and it came up positive. After a couple days of arguing and being somewhat toxic to eachother and arguing about him being in the baby’s life in which I wasn’t sure about because I knew he had life plans already and a potential kid back at his country (turned out it wasn’t his). I was worried about ruining his life but also worried about meeting his family and starting a new life. I got upset because I didn’t have my family supporting me through just life in general I’m not getting along with family much atm. I also was worried he was a bad father which I said out of being worried (which I regret) because he would drink and spend all his money on alcohol and casinos.
Anyways I ended up getting so stressed that I just told him I wasn’t pregnant even tho I thought I still was. He was relieved. I ended up hiding away from the world. I didn’t leave the house for a couple weeks and barely spoke to anyone. As the days moved on I started to hate that I was lying to him as I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not but at the same time was too scared to find out I was pregnant so never really went to the dr. As time ate me up I ended up getting my friend to tell him that I was pregnant (as that’s what I genuinely thought) no period, weird cravings, putting on weight, morning sickness etc. he was a little upset that I lied and to hear I was pregnant even tho I didn’t fully know so it was a partial lie. We then again ended up fighting like last time where I did say some bad things but so did he. I decided to go see him as he moved back to where he lives in Australia which is a 5 hr trip. After a couple days of me looking around the city and gathering my thoughts I decided to meet up with him where he didn’t speak about the pregnant at all other than when we were in McDonald’s to ask me if I had been drinking (the night before I said I was craving alcohol because I was so depressed) I told him I didn’t and he thought I was just trying to get a reaction out of him.
After we had some food he took me to the casino! The casino! Seriously? After we spent the night before talking about how he wouldn’t burn his money on alcohol or casinos. Anyways he walked me home still no speak of baby really. I message him to ask why he didn’t bring it up and he said I think something like he was scared and apparently I seemed too tired. I asked him to meet up the next day and he promised he would. Next day rolled around and I messaged him that it was my last day being there and asked for him to meet up. He said for me to go find something else to do that he didn’t feel like talking. I think he was hungover from the night before too. We argued again and again and toxic back and forth. Then next day I went home.
When I was home we were still somewhat arguing and just wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably toxic for not wanting him to fully be there but I was worried about the money and the drinking and how he would treat me around the baby. I ended up getting upset and deciding to message his sister because I felt he needed my support as he had nobody else that knew. He seemed to feel relieved and thanked me for letting her know. He then told his whole immediate family. I was getting worried as I still didn’t know for sure but in my mind I was pregnant. Randomly him and his sister were wanting to come see me to talk everything out and to meet his sister or I could go up the for my birthday instead. I agreed after them constantly asking and booked a ticket to get up there. They continued to tell me that they would be there for me no matter what the choice made was or if anything bad happened they were there for me apparently. I kept asking if I really needed to meet him sister this early and he said that she’s gonna be in the babies life. From the start I was worried he would take my potential kid back to his country as he kept bringing it up that we should take the kid back to his country. Then he asked for a scan of the baby as he thought I had scans done. I again panicked and sent him a fake scan in which his sister looked at and I think determined was real (she’s a medical professional). I told them it was a boy too because I generally was like it’s definitely a boy.
Anyways I got ready the night before to get on the train for the next day then went to bed. I woke up around 5ish am with the worst cramps of my life I thought maybe pain killers and a nice shower would help but pain only got worse. Then I started getting a little blood. I immediately went to the hospital. I spent hours and hours waiting for the hospital to tell me what was happening because “they didn’t have the Dr there” bs. While I was waiting out of fear I told him I had a miscarriage he was asleep when I told him but woke up to the message. I hadn’t had time to message anything else as I was getting looked at etc. then after around maybe 3 hours the drs told me I was pregnant. I did have blood in urine, high BP, tenderness in my stomach and really heart rate they never told me why though. I was so done with myself I didn’t want to be alive anymore I had technically lied to him about being pregnant and sent him a scan. I really thought I was pregnant I even started buying baby things. I did so wrong and I hate it. I now and then grieve the life I would’ve had. He called and messaged me but I couldn’t deal with myself so didn’t answer till that night.
That night He said he was there for me if I wanted to call or text at anytime that he was also upset about the baby. He went through the names he would’ve picked which hurt me more because I would’ve loved to have a little boy. After getting off the call I asked if we should still give him a name which was stupid as technically I didn’t have a miscarriage but I believed I did my mental state was and still is wrecked. He told me no. Also from start to finish he had been adding all my friends (online and offline) and family on socials and on gaming platforms. We ended up making a group chat between my 2 close girl friends 1 whom I had know since I was 12. He was still adding even my online friends and was getting a little frustrated I asked him to remove them at least off snap so I could have my own friends and space while I was going through this I asked my friends too but they both said no and that we were all friends here. I know I shouldn’t have asked of that but I had no space from him and he was adding almost everyone including the girls he’s never met that I have known for years.
Anyways the next day he kinda hadn’t spoken to me much turned out he was sorta ignoring me and was playing games with one of the girls who he seemed really interested in the whole time. I messaged his sister about how I was upset about him bringing up baby names and him also talking to my friends but now that I wasn’t “pregnant” she backed away from me didn’t wanna know about anything she just mentioned that she knew I was going through it rough but couldn’t be apart of it because it was her brother whatever that means.
All of a sudden I knew there was none of his family support even after the promise but I deserve it anyways for lying. He told me I could’ve spoken to him but I didn’t speak it out with him. He was there for me for a couple days and I got really down bit suicidal little self harm which was probably expected but I calmed myself down quickly each time. On day he said he couldn’t really be there for me anymore he could be a friend Ofc but not to put weight on him anymore which was fair he was grieving and shouldn’t of had to deal with me. But he always told me to talk to him when I felt upset which I did but now he was telling me he didn’t really wanna hear it. He also said he didn’t want me at his house for my birthday that he would probably be working anyways. A day after that we spoke about it again then he said I could talk to him if I needed to that he would support a little but couldn’t with anything. Then when I did tell him small things that upset me it seemed like he didn’t care or sometimes would make jokes he told me it was to lighten up the mood but all his responses were short when I told him what was going on.
He then was still talking with my friends very closely and gaming without me with them which I felt I had nobody or my own life really without him. (Oh btw forgot to mention in last paragraph he did tell me he went and lite a candle for the baby so maybe he was sad after doing that and was really grieving so he felt it hard to talk to me about the subject). Anywyas one day I found out the girls were playing with a guy who sexually assaulted me and yes they knew about it and I confronted them and they got salty I couldn’t deal with anything let alone that so I blocked them and messaged him to let him know what was going on and he was saying maybe they weren’t thinking clearly but also somewhat backing the girls up. Out of anger I told him I couldn’t fully be his friend if he was gonna continue everything with the girls and backed them up more so out of anger I blocked and unblocked him. I messaged his mum as I felt I had to anywyas because I needed to apologise for the hurt I had caused but to ask him to stop adding all my friends especially the ones supporting a bad guy. My thought pattern was that I know he would listen to her because he never respected my boundaries I was trying to set. I never ever once told him not to be there friend till now all I had asked was him to remove them off snap as that was too close and personal and also my friends not his because if it was his friends he would hate me. I messaged him to let him know I messaged his mum where he said I could’ve just spoke to him and he’s an adult which is fair but he wouldn’t listen to my boundaries and was getting a bit much even tho I spoke to him multiple times he never listened he then told me to not talk to him or his family again I left him a big message apologising and explaining but he left me on read. A couple days later I messaged him to let him know I was going to therapy as he always urged me too and thanked him for pushing me to go see someone properly not just short term.
He said that he was glad that I was getting help but ignored me again. We haven’t spoken since then. But he briefly spoke to my guy friend because they’re friends once again through me (yes my guy friend knows the same story all my friends think the same thing because he told them all without asking me first so I had to go on the lie with them as well which is and was heartbreaking and I still have to till this day but I’m slowly distancing myself from them because I don’t wanna be a bad friend to them anymore and they deserve better) anyways he said to my friend that I was mentally exhausting and hard to deal with along with I made him feel like shit. He also told my friend that I asked him to not get along with my friends which once again wasn’t true till the end. He also said to my friend that I exaggerated my feelings too much. When my mate brought up that I was going through a lot he still somehow tried to make it about himself. He also said he was grieving the baby too which was fair. He said to my friend that he felt when he tried to help me out or be there for me I seemed to not think he cared or didn’t think it was enough…
The reasoning for that was sometimes I would ask if he even cared because he would make jokes at bad times or be very short with me during deep convos. For example with the jokes he made a joke about me killing a baby after what had happened and that made me upset and think he didn’t care about me but in reality he used jokes to cope with things and just slipped out and didn’t mean any harm. Also turns out him and the girls are still talking which makes me hurt because why ignore me and talk to the girls who support the guy who sexually assaulted me knowing it and knowing they were my only supports through my rough time. Anyway my friend has kinda stopped talking to him but basically he was still grieving and still angry and upset about me and thought he tried but my feelings was he didn’t because again he would not listen to what I said about anything half the time, he would make bad jokes at bad times and was short with me.
I’m sorry this is all a lot and very very long post I’m sorry. In the end obviously I’ll beat myself up about everything that has happened from start till now. I’m grieving what would’ve/could’ve been my life. For at least 2 months I thought I was having a kid and my life was changing I know I’m young and will probably have the chance again and that I shouldn’t be thinking about it but Ofc I am gonna think about it. I was gonna be a mum a very loving mum who would’ve eventually figured everything out and would’ve made everything perfect even if it was toxic at the start. I would’ve done anything in my power to make sure my kid had a great life. But now I have no baby no him no near future now just left with lies, guilt,grief and major self hatred.
Sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I did this mostly in tears. If you’re gonna hate please at least hate lightly I already hate myself enough.

TW:mention of miscarriage, suicide and self harm
Here it goes. I’m gonna be very vulnerable and honest here. Sorry for the very very very long post btw hope you read it till the end.
I (19F) got close with a guy (21M) from tinder. We spent a couple weeks talking and he told me he liked me and asked if I wanted a relationship in future and I said I needed to meet him in person first before deciding. After he nagged for a couple of weeks until we finally met up. Immediately he was trying to sleep with me. Which I was in the mood so kinda let it happen. Then we went on a couple dates. He then a couple times after seeing me said he thought I only wanted him for superficial reasons. He said he kinda lost feelings for me but even then we were still hooking up and one time it slipped out him saying he liked me I did address it but he said he was joking. He then told me a relationship wouldn’t work out also because I had too many guys going after me and also I wouldn’t like his home country if he we were to move back there. So I guess we decided to be friends even with a little feelings there.
A couple week later I mentioned to him during a conversation that I hadn’t gotten my period but at the same time my IUD might’ve been doing it. So he told me to go get a test. I took the test and it came up positive. After a couple days of arguing and being somewhat toxic to eachother and arguing about him being in the baby’s life in which I wasn’t sure about because I knew he had life plans already and a potential kid back at his country (turned out it wasn’t his). I was worried about ruining his life but also worried about meeting his family and starting a new life. I got upset because I didn’t have my family supporting me through just life in general I’m not getting along with family much atm. I also was worried he was a bad father which I said out of being worried (which I regret) because he would drink and spend all his money on alcohol and casinos.
Anyways I ended up getting so stressed that I just told him I wasn’t pregnant even tho I thought I still was. He was relieved. I ended up hiding away from the world. I didn’t leave the house for a couple weeks and barely spoke to anyone. As the days moved on I started to hate that I was lying to him as I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not but at the same time was too scared to find out I was pregnant so never really went to the dr. As time ate me up I ended up getting my friend to tell him that I was pregnant (as that’s what I genuinely thought) no period, weird cravings, putting on weight, morning sickness etc. he was a little upset that I lied and to hear I was pregnant even tho I didn’t fully know so it was a partial lie. We then again ended up fighting like last time where I did say some bad things but so did he. I decided to go see him as he moved back to where he lives in Australia which is a 5 hr trip. After a couple days of me looking around the city and gathering my thoughts I decided to meet up with him where he didn’t speak about the pregnant at all other than when we were in McDonald’s to ask me if I had been drinking (the night before I said I was craving alcohol because I was so depressed) I told him I didn’t and he thought I was just trying to get a reaction out of him.
After we had some food he took me to the casino! The casino! Seriously? After we spent the night before talking about how he wouldn’t burn his money on alcohol or casinos. Anyways he walked me home still no speak of baby really. I message him to ask why he didn’t bring it up and he said I think something like he was scared and apparently I seemed too tired. I asked him to meet up the next day and he promised he would. Next day rolled around and I messaged him that it was my last day being there and asked for him to meet up. He said for me to go find something else to do that he didn’t feel like talking. I think he was hungover from the night before too. We argued again and again and toxic back and forth. Then next day I went home.
When I was home we were still somewhat arguing and just wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably toxic for not wanting him to fully be there but I was worried about the money and the drinking and how he would treat me around the baby. I ended up getting upset and deciding to message his sister because I felt he needed my support as he had nobody else that knew. He seemed to feel relieved and thanked me for letting her know. He then told his whole immediate family. I was getting worried as I still didn’t know for sure but in my mind I was pregnant. Randomly him and his sister were wanting to come see me to talk everything out and to meet his sister or I could go up the for my birthday instead. I agreed after them constantly asking and booked a ticket to get up there. They continued to tell me that they would be there for me no matter what the choice made was or if anything bad happened they were there for me apparently. I kept asking if I really needed to meet him sister this early and he said that she’s gonna be in the babies life. From the start I was worried he would take my potential kid back to his country as he kept bringing it up that we should take the kid back to his country. Then he asked for a scan of the baby as he thought I had scans done. I again panicked and sent him a fake scan in which his sister looked at and I think determined was real (she’s a medical professional). I told them it was a boy too because I generally was like it’s definitely a boy.
Anyways I got ready the night before to get on the train for the next day then went to bed. I woke up around 5ish am with the worst cramps of my life I thought maybe pain killers and a nice shower would help but pain only got worse. Then I started getting a little blood. I immediately went to the hospital. I spent hours and hours waiting for the hospital to tell me what was happening because “they didn’t have the Dr there” bs. While I was waiting out of fear I told him I had a miscarriage he was asleep when I told him but woke up to the message. I hadn’t had time to message anything else as I was getting looked at etc. then after around maybe 3 hours the drs told me I was pregnant. I did have blood in urine, high BP, tenderness in my stomach and really heart rate they never told me why though. I was so done with myself I didn’t want to be alive anymore I had technically lied to him about being pregnant and sent him a scan. I really thought I was pregnant I even started buying baby things. I did so wrong and I hate it. I now and then grieve the life I would’ve had. He called and messaged me but I couldn’t deal with myself so didn’t answer till that night.
That night He said he was there for me if I wanted to call or text at anytime that he was also upset about the baby. He went through the names he would’ve picked which hurt me more because I would’ve loved to have a little boy. After getting off the call I asked if we should still give him a name which was stupid as technically I didn’t have a miscarriage but I believed I did my mental state was and still is wrecked. He told me no. Also from start to finish he had been adding all my friends (online and offline) and family on socials and on gaming platforms. We ended up making a group chat between my 2 close girl friends 1 whom I had know since I was 12. He was still adding even my online friends and was getting a little frustrated I asked him to remove them at least off snap so I could have my own friends and space while I was going through this I asked my friends too but they both said no and that we were all friends here. I know I shouldn’t have asked of that but I had no space from him and he was adding almost everyone including the girls he’s never met that I have known for years.
Anyways the next day he kinda hadn’t spoken to me much turned out he was sorta ignoring me and was playing games with one of the girls who he seemed really interested in the whole time. I messaged his sister about how I was upset about him bringing up baby names and him also talking to my friends but now that I wasn’t “pregnant” she backed away from me didn’t wanna know about anything she just mentioned that she knew I was going through it rough but couldn’t be apart of it because it was her brother whatever that means.
All of a sudden I knew there was none of his family support even after the promise but I deserve it anyways for lying. He told me I could’ve spoken to him but I didn’t speak it out with him. He was there for me for a couple days and I got really down bit suicidal little self harm which was probably expected but I calmed myself down quickly each time. On day he said he couldn’t really be there for me anymore he could be a friend Ofc but not to put weight on him anymore which was fair he was grieving and shouldn’t of had to deal with me. But he always told me to talk to him when I felt upset which I did but now he was telling me he didn’t really wanna hear it. He also said he didn’t want me at his house for my birthday that he would probably be working anyways. A day after that we spoke about it again then he said I could talk to him if I needed to that he would support a little but couldn’t with anything. Then when I did tell him small things that upset me it seemed like he didn’t care or sometimes would make jokes he told me it was to lighten up the mood but all his responses were short when I told him what was going on.
He then was still talking with my friends very closely and gaming without me with them which I felt I had nobody or my own life really without him. (Oh btw forgot to mention in last paragraph he did tell me he went and lite a candle for the baby so maybe he was sad after doing that and was really grieving so he felt it hard to talk to me about the subject). Anywyas one day I found out the girls were playing with a guy who sexually assaulted me and yes they knew about it and I confronted them and they got salty I couldn’t deal with anything let alone that so I blocked them and messaged him to let him know what was going on and he was saying maybe they weren’t thinking clearly but also somewhat backing the girls up. Out of anger I told him I couldn’t fully be his friend if he was gonna continue everything with the girls and backed them up more so out of anger I blocked and unblocked him. I messaged his mum as I felt I had to anywyas because I needed to apologise for the hurt I had caused but to ask him to stop adding all my friends especially the ones supporting a bad guy. My thought pattern was that I know he would listen to her because he never respected my boundaries I was trying to set. I never ever once told him not to be there friend till now all I had asked was him to remove them off snap as that was too close and personal and also my friends not his because if it was his friends he would hate me. I messaged him to let him know I messaged his mum where he said I could’ve just spoke to him and he’s an adult which is fair but he wouldn’t listen to my boundaries and was getting a bit much even tho I spoke to him multiple times he never listened he then told me to not talk to him or his family again I left him a big message apologising and explaining but he left me on read. A couple days later I messaged him to let him know I was going to therapy as he always urged me too and thanked him for pushing me to go see someone properly not just short term.
He said that he was glad that I was getting help but ignored me again. We haven’t spoken since then. But he briefly spoke to my guy friend because they’re friends once again through me (yes my guy friend knows the same story all my friends think the same thing because he told them all without asking me first so I had to go on the lie with them as well which is and was heartbreaking and I still have to till this day but I’m slowly distancing myself from them because I don’t wanna be a bad friend to them anymore and they deserve better) anyways he said to my friend that I was mentally exhausting and hard to deal with along with I made him feel like shit. He also told my friend that I asked him to not get along with my friends which once again wasn’t true till the end. He also said to my friend that I exaggerated my feelings too much. When my mate brought up that I was going through a lot he still somehow tried to make it about himself. He also said he was grieving the baby too which was fair. He said to my friend that he felt when he tried to help me out or be there for me I seemed to not think he cared or didn’t think it was enough…
The reasoning for that was sometimes I would ask if he even cared because he would make jokes at bad times or be very short with me during deep convos. For example with the jokes he made a joke about me killing a baby after what had happened and that made me upset and think he didn’t care about me but in reality he used jokes to cope with things and just slipped out and didn’t mean any harm. Also turns out him and the girls are still talking which makes me hurt because why ignore me and talk to the girls who support the guy who sexually assaulted me knowing it and knowing they were my only supports through my rough time. Anyway my friend has kinda stopped talking to him but basically he was still grieving and still angry and upset about me and thought he tried but my feelings was he didn’t because again he would not listen to what I said about anything half the time, he would make bad jokes at bad times and was short with me.
I’m sorry this is all a lot and very very long post I’m sorry. In the end obviously I’ll beat myself up about everything that has happened from start till now. I’m grieving what would’ve/could’ve been my life. For at least 2 months I thought I was having a kid and my life was changing I know I’m young and will probably have the chance again and that I shouldn’t be thinking about it but Ofc I am gonna think about it. I was gonna be a mum a very loving mum who would’ve eventually figured everything out and would’ve made everything perfect even if it was toxic at the start. I would’ve done anything in my power to make sure my kid had a great life. But now I have no baby no him no near future now just left with lies, guilt,grief and major self hatred.
Sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I did this mostly in tears. If you’re gonna hate please at least hate lightly I already hate myself enough.

TW:mention of miscarriage, suicide and self harm
Here it goes. I’m gonna be very vulnerable and honest here. Sorry for the very very very long post btw hope you read it till the end.
I (19F) got close with a guy (21M) from tinder. We spent a couple weeks talking and he told me he liked me and asked if I wanted a relationship in future and I said I needed to meet him in person first before deciding. After he nagged for a couple of weeks until we finally met up. Immediately he was trying to sleep with me. Which I was in the mood so kinda let it happen. Then we went on a couple dates. He then a couple times after seeing me said he thought I only wanted him for superficial reasons. He said he kinda lost feelings for me but even then we were still hooking up and one time it slipped out him saying he liked me I did address it but he said he was joking. He then told me a relationship wouldn’t work out also because I had too many guys going after me and also I wouldn’t like his home country if he we were to move back there. So I guess we decided to be friends even with a little feelings there.
A couple week later I mentioned to him during a conversation that I hadn’t gotten my period but at the same time my IUD might’ve been doing it. So he told me to go get a test. I took the test and it came up positive. After a couple days of arguing and being somewhat toxic to eachother and arguing about him being in the baby’s life in which I wasn’t sure about because I knew he had life plans already and a potential kid back at his country (turned out it wasn’t his). I was worried about ruining his life but also worried about meeting his family and starting a new life. I got upset because I didn’t have my family supporting me through just life in general I’m not getting along with family much atm. I also was worried he was a bad father which I said out of being worried (which I regret) because he would drink and spend all his money on alcohol and casinos.
Anyways I ended up getting so stressed that I just told him I wasn’t pregnant even tho I thought I still was. He was relieved. I ended up hiding away from the world. I didn’t leave the house for a couple weeks and barely spoke to anyone. As the days moved on I started to hate that I was lying to him as I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not but at the same time was too scared to find out I was pregnant so never really went to the dr. As time ate me up I ended up getting my friend to tell him that I was pregnant (as that’s what I genuinely thought) no period, weird cravings, putting on weight, morning sickness etc. he was a little upset that I lied and to hear I was pregnant even tho I didn’t fully know so it was a partial lie. We then again ended up fighting like last time where I did say some bad things but so did he. I decided to go see him as he moved back to where he lives in Australia which is a 5 hr trip. After a couple days of me looking around the city and gathering my thoughts I decided to meet up with him where he didn’t speak about the pregnant at all other than when we were in McDonald’s to ask me if I had been drinking (the night before I said I was craving alcohol because I was so depressed) I told him I didn’t and he thought I was just trying to get a reaction out of him.
After we had some food he took me to the casino! The casino! Seriously? After we spent the night before talking about how he wouldn’t burn his money on alcohol or casinos. Anyways he walked me home still no speak of baby really. I message him to ask why he didn’t bring it up and he said I think something like he was scared and apparently I seemed too tired. I asked him to meet up the next day and he promised he would. Next day rolled around and I messaged him that it was my last day being there and asked for him to meet up. He said for me to go find something else to do that he didn’t feel like talking. I think he was hungover from the night before too. We argued again and again and toxic back and forth. Then next day I went home.
When I was home we were still somewhat arguing and just wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably toxic for not wanting him to fully be there but I was worried about the money and the drinking and how he would treat me around the baby. I ended up getting upset and deciding to message his sister because I felt he needed my support as he had nobody else that knew. He seemed to feel relieved and thanked me for letting her know. He then told his whole immediate family. I was getting worried as I still didn’t know for sure but in my mind I was pregnant. Randomly him and his sister were wanting to come see me to talk everything out and to meet his sister or I could go up the for my birthday instead. I agreed after them constantly asking and booked a ticket to get up there. They continued to tell me that they would be there for me no matter what the choice made was or if anything bad happened they were there for me apparently. I kept asking if I really needed to meet him sister this early and he said that she’s gonna be in the babies life. From the start I was worried he would take my potential kid back to his country as he kept bringing it up that we should take the kid back to his country. Then he asked for a scan of the baby as he thought I had scans done. I again panicked and sent him a fake scan in which his sister looked at and I think determined was real (she’s a medical professional). I told them it was a boy too because I generally was like it’s definitely a boy.
Anyways I got ready the night before to get on the train for the next day then went to bed. I woke up around 5ish am with the worst cramps of my life I thought maybe pain killers and a nice shower would help but pain only got worse. Then I started getting a little blood. I immediately went to the hospital. I spent hours and hours waiting for the hospital to tell me what was happening because “they didn’t have the Dr there” bs. While I was waiting out of fear I told him I had a miscarriage he was asleep when I told him but woke up to the message. I hadn’t had time to message anything else as I was getting looked at etc. then after around maybe 3 hours the drs told me I was pregnant. I did have blood in urine, high BP, tenderness in my stomach and really heart rate they never told me why though. I was so done with myself I didn’t want to be alive anymore I had technically lied to him about being pregnant and sent him a scan. I really thought I was pregnant I even started buying baby things. I did so wrong and I hate it. I now and then grieve the life I would’ve had. He called and messaged me but I couldn’t deal with myself so didn’t answer till that night.
That night He said he was there for me if I wanted to call or text at anytime that he was also upset about the baby. He went through the names he would’ve picked which hurt me more because I would’ve loved to have a little boy. After getting off the call I asked if we should still give him a name which was stupid as technically I didn’t have a miscarriage but I believed I did my mental state was and still is wrecked. He told me no. Also from start to finish he had been adding all my friends (online and offline) and family on socials and on gaming platforms. We ended up making a group chat between my 2 close girl friends 1 whom I had know since I was 12. He was still adding even my online friends and was getting a little frustrated I asked him to remove them at least off snap so I could have my own friends and space while I was going through this I asked my friends too but they both said no and that we were all friends here. I know I shouldn’t have asked of that but I had no space from him and he was adding almost everyone including the girls he’s never met that I have known for years.
Anyways the next day he kinda hadn’t spoken to me much turned out he was sorta ignoring me and was playing games with one of the girls who he seemed really interested in the whole time. I messaged his sister about how I was upset about him bringing up baby names and him also talking to my friends but now that I wasn’t “pregnant” she backed away from me didn’t wanna know about anything she just mentioned that she knew I was going through it rough but couldn’t be apart of it because it was her brother whatever that means.
All of a sudden I knew there was none of his family support even after the promise but I deserve it anyways for lying. He told me I could’ve spoken to him but I didn’t speak it out with him. He was there for me for a couple days and I got really down bit suicidal little self harm which was probably expected but I calmed myself down quickly each time. On day he said he couldn’t really be there for me anymore he could be a friend Ofc but not to put weight on him anymore which was fair he was grieving and shouldn’t of had to deal with me. But he always told me to talk to him when I felt upset which I did but now he was telling me he didn’t really wanna hear it. He also said he didn’t want me at his house for my birthday that he would probably be working anyways. A day after that we spoke about it again then he said I could talk to him if I needed to that he would support a little but couldn’t with anything. Then when I did tell him small things that upset me it seemed like he didn’t care or sometimes would make jokes he told me it was to lighten up the mood but all his responses were short when I told him what was going on.
He then was still talking with my friends very closely and gaming without me with them which I felt I had nobody or my own life really without him. (Oh btw forgot to mention in last paragraph he did tell me he went and lite a candle for the baby so maybe he was sad after doing that and was really grieving so he felt it hard to talk to me about the subject). Anywyas one day I found out the girls were playing with a guy who sexually assaulted me and yes they knew about it and I confronted them and they got salty I couldn’t deal with anything let alone that so I blocked them and messaged him to let him know what was going on and he was saying maybe they weren’t thinking clearly but also somewhat backing the girls up. Out of anger I told him I couldn’t fully be his friend if he was gonna continue everything with the girls and backed them up more so out of anger I blocked and unblocked him. I messaged his mum as I felt I had to anywyas because I needed to apologise for the hurt I had caused but to ask him to stop adding all my friends especially the ones supporting a bad guy. My thought pattern was that I know he would listen to her because he never respected my boundaries I was trying to set. I never ever once told him not to be there friend till now all I had asked was him to remove them off snap as that was too close and personal and also my friends not his because if it was his friends he would hate me. I messaged him to let him know I messaged his mum where he said I could’ve just spoke to him and he’s an adult which is fair but he wouldn’t listen to my boundaries and was getting a bit much even tho I spoke to him multiple times he never listened he then told me to not talk to him or his family again I left him a big message apologising and explaining but he left me on read. A couple days later I messaged him to let him know I was going to therapy as he always urged me too and thanked him for pushing me to go see someone properly not just short term.
He said that he was glad that I was getting help but ignored me again. We haven’t spoken since then. But he briefly spoke to my guy friend because they’re friends once again through me (yes my guy friend knows the same story all my friends think the same thing because he told them all without asking me first so I had to go on the lie with them as well which is and was heartbreaking and I still have to till this day but I’m slowly distancing myself from them because I don’t wanna be a bad friend to them anymore and they deserve better) anyways he said to my friend that I was mentally exhausting and hard to deal with along with I made him feel like shit. He also told my friend that I asked him to not get along with my friends which once again wasn’t true till the end. He also said to my friend that I exaggerated my feelings too much. When my mate brought up that I was going through a lot he still somehow tried to make it about himself. He also said he was grieving the baby too which was fair. He said to my friend that he felt when he tried to help me out or be there for me I seemed to not think he cared or didn’t think it was enough…
The reasoning for that was sometimes I would ask if he even cared because he would make jokes at bad times or be very short with me during deep convos. For example with the jokes he made a joke about me killing a baby after what had happened and that made me upset and think he didn’t care about me but in reality he used jokes to cope with things and just slipped out and didn’t mean any harm. Also turns out him and the girls are still talking which makes me hurt because why ignore me and talk to the girls who support the guy who sexually assaulted me knowing it and knowing they were my only supports through my rough time. Anyway my friend has kinda stopped talking to him but basically he was still grieving and still angry and upset about me and thought he tried but my feelings was he didn’t because again he would not listen to what I said about anything half the time, he would make bad jokes at bad times and was short with me.
I’m sorry this is all a lot and very very long post I’m sorry. In the end obviously I’ll beat myself up about everything that has happened from start till now. I’m grieving what would’ve/could’ve been my life. For at least 2 months I thought I was having a kid and my life was changing I know I’m young and will probably have the chance again and that I shouldn’t be thinking about it but Ofc I am gonna think about it. I was gonna be a mum a very loving mum who would’ve eventually figured everything out and would’ve made everything perfect even if it was toxic at the start. I would’ve done anything in my power to make sure my kid had a great life. But now I have no baby no him no near future now just left with lies, guilt,grief and major self hatred.
Sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I did this mostly in tears. If you’re gonna hate please at least hate lightly I already hate myself enough.

TW:mention of miscarriage, suicide and self harm
Here it goes. I’m gonna be very vulnerable and honest here. Sorry for the very very very long post btw hope you read it till the end.
I (19F) got close with a guy (21M) from tinder. We spent a couple weeks talking and he told me he liked me and asked if I wanted a relationship in future and I said I needed to meet him in person first before deciding. After he nagged for a couple of weeks until we finally met up. Immediately he was trying to sleep with me. Which I was in the mood so kinda let it happen. Then we went on a couple dates. He then a couple times after seeing me said he thought I only wanted him for superficial reasons. He said he kinda lost feelings for me but even then we were still hooking up and one time it slipped out him saying he liked me I did address it but he said he was joking. He then told me a relationship wouldn’t work out also because I had too many guys going after me and also I wouldn’t like his home country if he we were to move back there. So I guess we decided to be friends even with a little feelings there.
A couple week later I mentioned to him during a conversation that I hadn’t gotten my period but at the same time my IUD might’ve been doing it. So he told me to go get a test. I took the test and it came up positive. After a couple days of arguing and being somewhat toxic to eachother and arguing about him being in the baby’s life in which I wasn’t sure about because I knew he had life plans already and a potential kid back at his country (turned out it wasn’t his). I was worried about ruining his life but also worried about meeting his family and starting a new life. I got upset because I didn’t have my family supporting me through just life in general I’m not getting along with family much atm. I also was worried he was a bad father which I said out of being worried (which I regret) because he would drink and spend all his money on alcohol and casinos.
Anyways I ended up getting so stressed that I just told him I wasn’t pregnant even tho I thought I still was. He was relieved. I ended up hiding away from the world. I didn’t leave the house for a couple weeks and barely spoke to anyone. As the days moved on I started to hate that I was lying to him as I didn’t know if I was pregnant or not but at the same time was too scared to find out I was pregnant so never really went to the dr. As time ate me up I ended up getting my friend to tell him that I was pregnant (as that’s what I genuinely thought) no period, weird cravings, putting on weight, morning sickness etc. he was a little upset that I lied and to hear I was pregnant even tho I didn’t fully know so it was a partial lie. We then again ended up fighting like last time where I did say some bad things but so did he. I decided to go see him as he moved back to where he lives in Australia which is a 5 hr trip. After a couple days of me looking around the city and gathering my thoughts I decided to meet up with him where he didn’t speak about the pregnant at all other than when we were in McDonald’s to ask me if I had been drinking (the night before I said I was craving alcohol because I was so depressed) I told him I didn’t and he thought I was just trying to get a reaction out of him.
After we had some food he took me to the casino! The casino! Seriously? After we spent the night before talking about how he wouldn’t burn his money on alcohol or casinos. Anyways he walked me home still no speak of baby really. I message him to ask why he didn’t bring it up and he said I think something like he was scared and apparently I seemed too tired. I asked him to meet up the next day and he promised he would. Next day rolled around and I messaged him that it was my last day being there and asked for him to meet up. He said for me to go find something else to do that he didn’t feel like talking. I think he was hungover from the night before too. We argued again and again and toxic back and forth. Then next day I went home.
When I was home we were still somewhat arguing and just wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably toxic for not wanting him to fully be there but I was worried about the money and the drinking and how he would treat me around the baby. I ended up getting upset and deciding to message his sister because I felt he needed my support as he had nobody else that knew. He seemed to feel relieved and thanked me for letting her know. He then told his whole immediate family. I was getting worried as I still didn’t know for sure but in my mind I was pregnant. Randomly him and his sister were wanting to come see me to talk everything out and to meet his sister or I could go up the for my birthday instead. I agreed after them constantly asking and booked a ticket to get up there. They continued to tell me that they would be there for me no matter what the choice made was or if anything bad happened they were there for me apparently. I kept asking if I really needed to meet him sister this early and he said that she’s gonna be in the babies life. From the start I was worried he would take my potential kid back to his country as he kept bringing it up that we should take the kid back to his country. Then he asked for a scan of the baby as he thought I had scans done. I again panicked and sent him a fake scan in which his sister looked at and I think determined was real (she’s a medical professional). I told them it was a boy too because I generally was like it’s definitely a boy.
Anyways I got ready the night before to get on the train for the next day then went to bed. I woke up around 5ish am with the worst cramps of my life I thought maybe pain killers and a nice shower would help but pain only got worse. Then I started getting a little blood. I immediately went to the hospital. I spent hours and hours waiting for the hospital to tell me what was happening because “they didn’t have the Dr there” bs. While I was waiting out of fear I told him I had a miscarriage he was asleep when I told him but woke up to the message. I hadn’t had time to message anything else as I was getting looked at etc. then after around maybe 3 hours the drs told me I was pregnant. I did have blood in urine, high BP, tenderness in my stomach and really heart rate they never told me why though. I was so done with myself I didn’t want to be alive anymore I had technically lied to him about being pregnant and sent him a scan. I really thought I was pregnant I even started buying baby things. I did so wrong and I hate it. I now and then grieve the life I would’ve had. He called and messaged me but I couldn’t deal with myself so didn’t answer till that night.
That night He said he was there for me if I wanted to call or text at anytime that he was also upset about the baby. He went through the names he would’ve picked which hurt me more because I would’ve loved to have a little boy. After getting off the call I asked if we should still give him a name which was stupid as technically I didn’t have a miscarriage but I believed I did my mental state was and still is wrecked. He told me no. Also from start to finish he had been adding all my friends (online and offline) and family on socials and on gaming platforms. We ended up making a group chat between my 2 close girl friends 1 whom I had know since I was 12. He was still adding even my online friends and was getting a little frustrated I asked him to remove them at least off snap so I could have my own friends and space while I was going through this I asked my friends too but they both said no and that we were all friends here. I know I shouldn’t have asked of that but I had no space from him and he was adding almost everyone including the girls he’s never met that I have known for years.
Anyways the next day he kinda hadn’t spoken to me much turned out he was sorta ignoring me and was playing games with one of the girls who he seemed really interested in the whole time. I messaged his sister about how I was upset about him bringing up baby names and him also talking to my friends but now that I wasn’t “pregnant” she backed away from me didn’t wanna know about anything she just mentioned that she knew I was going through it rough but couldn’t be apart of it because it was her brother whatever that means.
All of a sudden I knew there was none of his family support even after the promise but I deserve it anyways for lying. He told me I could’ve spoken to him but I didn’t speak it out with him. He was there for me for a couple days and I got really down bit suicidal little self harm which was probably expected but I calmed myself down quickly each time. On day he said he couldn’t really be there for me anymore he could be a friend Ofc but not to put weight on him anymore which was fair he was grieving and shouldn’t of had to deal with me. But he always told me to talk to him when I felt upset which I did but now he was telling me he didn’t really wanna hear it. He also said he didn’t want me at his house for my birthday that he would probably be working anyways. A day after that we spoke about it again then he said I could talk to him if I needed to that he would support a little but couldn’t with anything. Then when I did tell him small things that upset me it seemed like he didn’t care or sometimes would make jokes he told me it was to lighten up the mood but all his responses were short when I told him what was going on.
He then was still talking with my friends very closely and gaming without me with them which I felt I had nobody or my own life really without him. (Oh btw forgot to mention in last paragraph he did tell me he went and lite a candle for the baby so maybe he was sad after doing that and was really grieving so he felt it hard to talk to me about the subject). Anywyas one day I found out the girls were playing with a guy who sexually assaulted me and yes they knew about it and I confronted them and they got salty I couldn’t deal with anything let alone that so I blocked them and messaged him to let him know what was going on and he was saying maybe they weren’t thinking clearly but also somewhat backing the girls up. Out of anger I told him I couldn’t fully be his friend if he was gonna continue everything with the girls and backed them up more so out of anger I blocked and unblocked him. I messaged his mum as I felt I had to anywyas because I needed to apologise for the hurt I had caused but to ask him to stop adding all my friends especially the ones supporting a bad guy. My thought pattern was that I know he would listen to her because he never respected my boundaries I was trying to set. I never ever once told him not to be there friend till now all I had asked was him to remove them off snap as that was too close and personal and also my friends not his because if it was his friends he would hate me. I messaged him to let him know I messaged his mum where he said I could’ve just spoke to him and he’s an adult which is fair but he wouldn’t listen to my boundaries and was getting a bit much even tho I spoke to him multiple times he never listened he then told me to not talk to him or his family again I left him a big message apologising and explaining but he left me on read. A couple days later I messaged him to let him know I was going to therapy as he always urged me too and thanked him for pushing me to go see someone properly not just short term.
He said that he was glad that I was getting help but ignored me again. We haven’t spoken since then. But he briefly spoke to my guy friend because they’re friends once again through me (yes my guy friend knows the same story all my friends think the same thing because he told them all without asking me first so I had to go on the lie with them as well which is and was heartbreaking and I still have to till this day but I’m slowly distancing myself from them because I don’t wanna be a bad friend to them anymore and they deserve better) anyways he said to my friend that I was mentally exhausting and hard to deal with along with I made him feel like shit. He also told my friend that I asked him to not get along with my friends which once again wasn’t true till the end. He also said to my friend that I exaggerated my feelings too much. When my mate brought up that I was going through a lot he still somehow tried to make it about himself. He also said he was grieving the baby too which was fair. He said to my friend that he felt when he tried to help me out or be there for me I seemed to not think he cared or didn’t think it was enough…
The reasoning for that was sometimes I would ask if he even cared because he would make jokes at bad times or be very short with me during deep convos. For example with the jokes he made a joke about me killing a baby after what had happened and that made me upset and think he didn’t care about me but in reality he used jokes to cope with things and just slipped out and didn’t mean any harm. Also turns out him and the girls are still talking which makes me hurt because why ignore me and talk to the girls who support the guy who sexually assaulted me knowing it and knowing they were my only supports through my rough time. Anyway my friend has kinda stopped talking to him but basically he was still grieving and still angry and upset about me and thought he tried but my feelings was he didn’t because again he would not listen to what I said about anything half the time, he would make bad jokes at bad times and was short with me.
I’m sorry this is all a lot and very very long post I’m sorry. In the end obviously I’ll beat myself up about everything that has happened from start till now. I’m grieving what would’ve/could’ve been my life. For at least 2 months I thought I was having a kid and my life was changing I know I’m young and will probably have the chance again and that I shouldn’t be thinking about it but Ofc I am gonna think about it. I was gonna be a mum a very loving mum who would’ve eventually figured everything out and would’ve made everything perfect even if it was toxic at the start. I would’ve done anything in my power to make sure my kid had a great life. But now I have no baby no him no near future now just left with lies, guilt,grief and major self hatred.
Sorry if some of this didn’t make sense I did this mostly in tears. If you’re gonna hate please at least hate lightly I already hate myself enough.

Here is the Oilers post (good job Number333). I'm reminiscing about our championship team now that the Stanley Cup finals are upon us, and thought this would be fun to look at.
Roster:

• Landeskog Draft Couldn't find draft thread, here is a pre-draft post on the Avs sub: Thoughts on Gabriel Landeskog? Top comment: I think Landeskog is going to be HUGE in colorado. he seems the type to me that has a chance at Calder status right away. Landeskog Extension Landeskog re-signs in COL. 8 years Top comment: It's Stamkoswatch 2.0 folks
  
• E. Johnson Trade Blues Acquire Stewart, Shattenkirk Top comment: I can't believe the Blues gave up on Erik Johnson already, this trade is the craziest of the year so far. E. Johnson Extension Erik Johnson has agreed to an extension with the Avs. Top comment: 17 years, $102M. Calling it.
  
• MacKinnon Draft 2013 NHL Draft Thread Top (relevent) comment: I'M SO FUCKING PUMPED!!! WE FINALLY WON SOMETHING THIS YEAR! AND I CALLED IT!!! THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE AVS SEASON, AND I'M GONNA ENJOY IT! MacKinnon Extension Avalanche Sign MacKinnon To Seven-Year Contract - Colorado Avalanche Top comment: I would like to thank all the hockey Gods on this joyous day, both the old and the new.
  
• Compher Trade Sabres acquire Ryan O'Reilly Top comment: Sabres rebuild ~ 2.5 years Oilers rebuild ~ beginning of time Compher Extension Compher and COL, 4x$3.5M Top comment: Jimothy Timothy getting paid.
  
• Rantanen Draft Avs draft Mikko Rantanen Top Comment: SakRoy just went and totally redeemed themselves after Brad Stuart. Rantanen Extension Hearing Avalanche & Mikko Rantanen have agreed to a 6-year contract worth $55.5 million. Top comment: RIP SC Bern Dynasty
  
• Makar Draft The Colorado Avalanch Select Cale Makar with the 4th overall pick in the 2017 NHL Entry Draft Top comment: I'm so confident Makar will go down as the best player in this draft, that if he doesn't I'll eat a sock. Makar Extension The Avs have signed Cale Makar to a six-year deal. Top comment: My hangover is instantly better
  
• Girard Trade Matt Duchene has been traded Top comment: Matt Duchene is a free elf! Girard Extension Avalanche sign Sam Girard to seven year deal Top comment: Avs defense are gonna look good for a long time
  
• O'Connor Signing Denver forward Logan O’Connor forgoes Senior year to sign deal with Avalanche Top comment: Terrible news for DU! But I wish the very best for Logan. O'Connor Extension Avalanche have re-signed Logan O'Connor Top comment: Very happy with this news after the energy he brought vs Dallas
  
• Francouz Signing The Avs sign goalie Pavel Francouz to a one-year deal Top comment: As a Czech Avs fan Im so fucking happy. edit: Dude is a fucking stud. Hell probably be our starting goalie for most games during IIHF WC (starts on saturday) so if you wanna see him in action look up our games (first game we play is on saturday 20:15 GMT+1 vs Slovakia). Francouz Extension Pavel Francouz Signs Two-Year Extension Top comment: Easily the best backup in the league. Dude has like a .920 over the past few seasons. Great signing
  
• Byram Draft The Colorado Avalanche select Bowen Byram with the 4th overall pick in the 2019 NHL Entry Draft Top comment: Rantanen-MacKinnon-Landeskog Byram-Makar RIP league
  
• Newhook Draft Avs VS The 2019 NHL Entry Draft (Day 1) Top comment: Great pick. And yes, this is a brag (links to correct predictions for both Byram & Newhook)
  
• Kadri Trade Toronto Acquires Alex Kerfoot, Tyson Barrie and A 2020 6th Rd Pick From The Colorado Avalanche for Nazem Kadri, Calle Rosen and a 2020 3rd Rd Pick Top comment: What the fuck
  
• Burakovsky Trade The Capitals Acquire a Second and Third Round Pick in the 2020 NHL Entry Draft from Colorado for Andre Burakovsky. Pending UFA Forward Scott Kosmachuk also included in the trade Top comment: I hope the change is good for him. I was super critical of him all last season but I really think he has potential to do well. And as cap strapped as we are, it made sense to trade him. Now we just need to pay Vrana and fill out lower lines with some value players. Burakovsky Extension Andre Burakovsky stays in Colorado. 2 years. First year $4.4 mil, second year $5.4. Aav $4.9 mil. Top comment: He's a tremendous talent and the puck explodes off his stick. Hopefully he can live up to the pay and keep flourishing in Colorado
  
• Nichushkin Signing The Avalanche Sign Valeri Nichushkin Top comment: Cool, can't wait for him to go off for a hat trick in his first game against Dallas after not scoring a single goal last season. Nichuskin Extension Colorado has re-signed RFA Valeri Nichushkin to a 2-year, $5M contract Top comment: Steal for a perennial Hart Candidate
  
• Toews Trade The New York Islanders have traded Devon Toews to Colorado for 2021 2nd and 2022 2nd round picks. Top comment: Toews and Saad reunited /s Toews Contract Colorado Avalanche have settled with Devon Toews on a 4 year contract with an AAV of $4,100,000. Top comment: Man Colorados defense is stacked and it’s only gonna get better with the addition of Byram sometime in the future
  
• Helm Signing Darren Helm signs 1 year, $1 million in Colorado. Top comment: The summer of traitors lmao
  
• Kuemper Trade Let's re-do that tweet: Avs get G Darcy Kuemper from AZ for D Conor Timmins, a 2022 first-rounder and 2024 conditional third-rounder, per source Top comment: Arizona has more picks than players at this point
  
• MacDermid Trade Kraken trade D Man MacDermid to Avalanche for a 4th Rd pick on 2023. Top comment: Kraken drowning in picks now.
  
• Murray Signing Hearing D Ryan Murray to Colorado. Top comment: 1 x 2 million is the deal. Holy moly that's a steal.
  
• J. Johnson PTO Colorado signed defenseman Jack Johnson to a PTO Top comment: “Sakic, our defence is too good, we need a reason for people to question it.” “Say no more.” J. Johnson Contract As I reported last night, but further here: Avs and Jack Johnson will finalize 1-year contract Monday or Tuesday Top comment: I'm happy that Jack Johnson is gonna keep getting some more money coming in after what his parents did to him. I'm also ready to be entertained by his misadventures.
  
• Aube-Kubel Waiver Claim Flyers’ Nicolas Aube-Kubel has been claimed off waivers by Colorado. Top comment: Not super surprising, but it is a shame. Few years ago I really thought he was going to be this fast forechecker on the 4th line, capable of mixing up the other team and forcing some extra ozone time, but the past two years he's really been off. Way too many penalties for his limited minutes. Shame to let him go for nothing but idk how much actual trade value he has.
  
• Cogliano Trade The Colorado Avalanche acquire Andrew Cogliano from the San Jose Sharks in exchange for a 5th Round Pick in 2024 Top comment: That was really funny on the Sportsnet show. "Cogliano would be great on Colorado" Elliotte from off screen "That just happened"
  
• Sturm Trade Minnesota acquires Tyson Jost from Colorado for Nico Sturm. Top comment: that's Tyson "Centerpiece of Claude Giroux Trade" Jost to you, buddy
  
• Manson Trade Ducks ⁩ are trading Defenseman John Manson to ⁦ Avalanche ⁩ for Defense Prospect Drew Helleson and a 2023 Draft Pick. Top comment: Ducks with the bait and switch sending Colorado John Manson instead of Josh Manson
  
• Lehkonen Trade The Colorado Avalanche acquire Artturi Lehkonen from the Montreal Canadiens in exchange for Justin Barron and a 2nd Round Pick in 2024 Top comment: Losing Barron sucks but I love this move for the Avs
  

Ihr Lieben, In letzter Zeit habe ich gelegentlich Werbung dafür bekommen, Nabelschnurblut und Zellen aus der Nabelschnur einlagern zu lassen. Das Argument aus der Werbung ist, es wäre eine zusätzliche Therapiechance für mein Baby, falls sie mal Stammzellen braucht bzw. bei schwerwiegenden gesundheitlichen Themen.
Ich hab das zuerst als Geldmacherei abgetan, aber letztens hat meine Hausärztin sich sehr positiv geäußert - wie cool, dass es diese Möglichkeit heutzutage gibt, eine tolle Idee, und so. Nun denke ich doch darüber nach.
Finanziell wäre es für uns möglich. Gibt es unter euch jemanden, der sich dafür oder dagegen entschieden hat? Ich wäre dankbar für eure Perspektiven :-)

My baby got a sunburn😭 we were outside for a few hours at a sports game with breaks in between, tried walking over to the shade when the clouds went away, I loaded him with sunscreen. But he also kept taking his hat and sunglasses off, and his eyes are even sunburnt which scares me so much! How can I help his poor little eyes?
His face is a bit sunburnt, and his arms too. He’s a red head and I think I need to re apply every hour and a half next time and get sunglasses with a straps. I feel horrible!