I am taking my mom to italy this october... I am well traveled but my mom has never been out of the US. To not overwhelm her, I was thinking rather than city hopping we could just stay in rome for the week & maybe take a day trip or two to florence & a tuscany wine tour. She will love the wine & the sights. She will be able to walk all over the city but would greatly enjoy some downtime to just relax.
Would it make more since to take the train & commit to staying in Florence for a couple nights at the tail end of our trip, rather than a day trip out of rome?
here is a very rough itinerary...
(Friday) Day 1: arrive at FCO 2:00pm, check in to airbnb in Rome. Late dinner in the city.
(Saturday) Day 2: Morning 3 hr golf cart tour of the city to get a grasp on where we are. Lunch in the city, free exploring, before an afternoon siesta and 7pm dinner.
(Sunday) Day 3: Guided Tour: Colosseum/Roman Forum/Palatine Hill (3hr)
(Monday) Day 4: early walk to Trevi Ftn, Breakast, Spanish Steps, Piazza Del popolo, picnic lunch in villa borghese park,
(Tuesday) Day 5: Audio Tour: Vatican City and Gardens (3hrs), evening pasta making class (3hrs)
(Wed) Day 6: day trip to florence - guided tour when we get there
(Thurs) Day 7: from rome, tuscany guided day trip with lunch & wine tasting
(Fri) Day 8: Free morning.. 6:55pm flight out of FCO

Mateo Sanchez
Run and Hide
I have never been a good hider. On top of that, I’m panicking more than I ever had in my life. I feel like I am gonna be getting taken, and even the thought of the man makes me weak in my knees. My heart is racing, I feel like I’m gonna faint. Many had escaped a situation like mine, with a last minute good hiding-place, but I am a bit chubby for a sixteen year old boy. My bigger size greatly hinders my hiding skills because there were a lot of small places for other people to hide.
The bright and loud T.V. is still on and I can feel the people on the news staring at me. I tried to move,but fear was getting the better of me. A cold bead of sweat slowly trickled down my face. Plip! Onto the floor. Any second now, the door will be broken down. My whole body is shaking in fear of the shadow man. It took him two months, but he finally got to us.
I remember that day, the first time he arrived. It was everywhere on the news. There were two people who disappeared on that horrible, fateful day. Only one man survived to tell the tale.
Jerry White. Jerry White was the father of Johnny White, a seven year old boy, and husband to Melinda White, a young woman in her early thirties. No one in our little town of Starkville believed in the supernatural. Not until the disappearance of Johnny and Melinda White.
“It-it just took them.” Jerry said, shaking, in an interview.
“It?” the reporter asked, intrigued but skeptical.
“That-that thing! It was like a big, tall, shadow. It was slim, yet insanely strong. It easily ripped the door off its hinges with what seemed like no e-effort!” Jerry fidgeted with his fingers.
“Sir, are you sure ‘it’ wasn’t a human in a costume?”
“No human cou-could just rip a door off its hinges like that. No human in-in the history of earth.”
My parents tried to not let me watch the news because they didn’t want to scare me. They still thought of me as a child. One day though, I overheard them talking about it and I disobeyed them. They were right. As teenagers, we believe things way easier than adults because we are still learning about the world and all its things. No one believed at first. Who would believe such a wild story?
About 48 hours after the interview, another house of people were reported missing, this time, there was no one to tell about the shadow man.
Until two days later, a small boy named Charlie ran to the police station in a panic. He described the same tall shadow man, and how his mother and father were dragged out of the house. He survived because he hid and the shadow man didn’t take him.
At this point, most adults expected it to be some deranged criminal. It went on like this, people were disappearing left and right, this ‘shadow man’ rarely left someone without taking them away.
A month passed. Time was passing as slowly as a sloth. People were disappearing everywhere in this poor town. The whole world knew about it now, it was all over the news! People were moving out of the town left and right because no one wanted to disappear. My family however, had not even close to enough money to move out. So we stayed.
We were set on staying right until fifteen minutes ago. We were on the couch, eating spicy Doritos while watching t.v. I accidentally smelled one, it was sharp and spicy, which promptly brought me into a coughing fit.
“La-rry?” my mom said, shivering. Then I saw it. It was the most horrifying thing we had ever witnessed in our entire lives.We watched the man appear in front of the house in front of ours door. I froze in shock. Slowly, we watched his bony fingers knock on the door three times. Rap. Rap. Rap. Then he waited about one minute. He just stood there. Everything was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. That changed one horrible, slow minute later. He broke down the door, and came out dragging our neighbors out of their house as they kicked and screamed to get out of his tight grip.
I ran over to get my phone as my parents rushed for the car keys. Right as Dad ran down the stairs, exclaiming the words, “Found them!” as he jingled the car keys in his hand. As he ran for the door, we heard it. Three knocks. Someone, no, something is knocking on our door. Dad dropped the keys as he turned around and sprinted to hide.
Now if you didn’t know, I fold like a chair under pressure. I just stopped working, mentally and physically. My adrenaline saved me. I was so scared, I just jumped into the kitchen cabinet and closed the door. Seconds after, the man tore down the door with ease.
“Where are all the people? I'm sure humans have hospitality towards their guests, do they not?” His voice was raspy and scratchy, like listening to nails on a chalkboard, and just hearing it made me feel cold and empty, yet brimming with pure fear. He began to walk around, tearing things apart to find someone to take away.
“I'm just hungry, won’t you have some sympathy for your hungry guest?” shivers again. I felt them crawling down my spine, a cold glass of water being poured down my back. He began to tear off cabinet doors, break glasses, and scream in anger at finding nothing. The sound of his screams were absolutely terrifying, the glass breaking was so loud it felt like it was poking my ears . I was uncontrollably shivering and hyperventilating, I felt like I was about to faint.
Then, I heard her. My mom was found. She screamed, this high pitched shrill scream.
“Let me go!” she screamed. Then I heard my dad.
“Let her go, you monster!” he cried at the shadow man. I heard from the cabinet. He was fighting it to get Mom back. It was clear who won. There was a grunt from my dad and then the shadow man dragged him out too. I sat there for what felt like millennia. I finally gathered the courage to leave the cabinet. I gingerly opened the door and looked around the house. The whole house was wrecked, but the most important part was he was gone. I was alone in the house. I touched my hand to the floor softly as I left the cabinet.
“OW!” I squealed. There was glass on the ground that I had poked myself with. It was cold and thin, it hurt a lot when I pulled it out of my finger. I stifled a yelp. I put my finger in my mouth immediately out of instinct. It tasted cold and metallic.
“Ptoo!” I spit it out of my mouth.
I didn’t know what to do. He was probably coming for me next. Come on Larry, THINK! Then I thought, you know what? I need to get out of here. There is no telling if he comes back again. I grabbed the car keys my dad had dropped on the floor as I rushed into the car. As I put my hands on the wheel, I felt how slippery it was.I drove out of that cursed town as fast as I could.
It took a week, but I finally am far away from that man. I have plans to settle down in an apartment.
I used money from my job at McDonalds. My parents were pretty well off, so I decided that I would take their wallets before I left.
I got a small apartment with my roommate, Kyle. Then one day, just, JUST when I finally thought I got away from him, I heard it. On my apartment door, when I was watching TV and Kyle was out. Three knocks at my door and that horrible raspy voice.
“You could never run, nor could you hide.”

We are just wrapping up a month (April 19th to May 18th) in Playa Flamingo. We had a great time, and did less than 10% of what we had bookmarked before arriving, but that’s a good thing and just enjoyed a Pura Vida life for a few weeks. This experience is applicable if you’re staying in Brasilito, Conchal, Flamingo, or Potrero.

• MyTanFeet got it right and you should trust their advice. Especially the videos.
• If you’re a vigilant and alert driver and don’t mind swerving (duck, dodge, weave, go with the flow and hang loose man), you’ll be fine. If you are 10 and 2 and stay perfectly in the lines and must obey traffic laws, don’t drive here. (I ended up doing all the driving). There are only lines on 1/3 of the paved roads, and only highways (2 lane roads) are paved. The side streets are all dirt and rock roads with variable ruts and pothole conditions (just go slow until you’re used to it). Small SUV is fine for clearance, but get something with a beefier engine with sport mode for hill acceleration. The Hyundai Tuscan was perfect, the Suzuki struggled badly.
• Only rent from Adobe. We had people visiting us for a week at a time and they had bad experience with Budget (arguing about insurance) and Avis (ran out of SUVs and downgraded to Sedan that we couldn’t get anywhere off-road with). I stopped by the local Adobe office twice, once to replace a windshield wiper that was worn out before thunderstorms. 10 mins in and out with a smile on their face. The second time we had pulled on the trunk handle when closing it and the inside panel of the hatch came loose. 3 guys hustled out of their office to look at it, and after 10 mins of no success they drove me home, and brought me a new car (same model) an hour later with no fuss and all paperwork pre-completed.
• Rainy season starts like a light switch on May 1st +/- a few days. It was sunny and 95 with great visibility, then turned hazy and now in mid May it’s like a tropical rainforest and everything is lush and trees are blooming. We only got “wet” 3-4 times during the month unexpectedly. Lots of lightning, minimal thunder. Territorial views help to see it coming.
• There are plenty of resorts and all inclusive, but just go to Hawaii or Cancun for that. We rented a 3 bedroom AirBnb with territorial views on south hill of Flamingo. Having a view on the hill is wayyy better than being on the beach. Lots more to see. And less bugs at night from the beach.
• Booked sailboat with Serendipity Charters lucky 13 (mixed group, semi-private charter) for a sunset cruise out of Flamingo Marina. We loved it so much we went two more times, had the same crew and met the owner and made new affluent friends on each trip. We saw the catamarans with 40 people on them and shook our heads. It’s like taking a smaller adults only dinner cruise vs a Carnival cruise ship. You can book direct on their website for better pricing than TripAdvisor. Don’t let the weather forecast scare you.
• In this area, assuming you want to eat a bit more local and not “at the resort”, our favorites were Gracia Mar Vista (although they were only open 1/3 of the several times we tried to go), Gracia La Vid (amazing wood fired pizza). The Potrero Brewery and the food truck style park was great too. Coco Loco has a cool vibe but we’re disappointed with food price per value. Margaritaville is 2x the price and, is a typical resort if that’s your thing.
• Book a date night in advance (several weeks probably) for Road Less Traveled in Potrero for the Chef’s Choice 9 course meal for the private chef experience with 4 stools at their kitchen island.
• Great soda restaurant experience, frequented Azul and Soda Brasilito.
• $40/hr massages on beach in front of Margaritaville. Look for yellow towel tables. Amazing and better than home.
• We drove to Tamarindo a few times. It’s where the ladies wanted to go shopping for trinkets and casual dresses. Farmers market was meh.
• Grocery prices in Flamingo are pricey. Do a stock up trip once or twice a week to Mega Súper past Huacas toward Tamarindo.
• Super market here means mini mart, Mega Super, Maxí Palí, and Walmart (Liberia) will feel more like home. They have 1/3-1/2 of what we find at home, so you may get creative or stick to simple foods. The meats we had were all great, just expensive. Cheese here is weird and expensive, possibly not pasteurized. The groceries that last a week at home only last 3 days here. Don’t overstock. Fresh fruits everywhere and tons of sliced pineapple, watermelon, etc to be found. The prices at the soda are significantly cheaper than groceries. Get snacks for groceries and eat your meals out.
• Language Barrier: Very few speak English, unless it relates to money or a food menu. The Google Translate app on your phone in conversation tab is your friend. We managed just fine.
• Currency Conversion: 500:1 is hard. Simpler method is to see something in thousands, just drop the 3 digits to the right of the comma separator and double it. 10,000 C = 10, x 2 = $20 USD. 3,250 C = $6.40 USD.
• Paying in Cash: We used cards for anyplace we went that had a roof. Use cash for anyone you pay on the street. Everyone takes US $10s and $20 bills. Bring $300-500 for trinket vendors, massages, etc. We never hit the ATM, and only got a few colones bills back, just paid in USD.
• Credit Cards: Every business, grocery store, and restaurant uses the same BAC (Bank of Costa Rica) credit card terminal that has a tap card. There are no pins, signatures and tipping. Tap your card and go. We used our Amazon Prime credit card here with no hassles.
• Beaches: Spring break or California beach? Tamarindo. Boogie boarding or low key sandy beach? Flamingo. Other beaches are okay, just not as great and many don’t have easy access/parking. We hoped for better snorkeling but it was sub par. All of the boat trips will let you snorkel and get your fix, but go to the Caribbean side for the cool stuff it sounds like.
• Weather Forecast: The apps don’t work since they don’t have weather services down here (ex. No radar). It’s all based on satellite images of storm intensity. Use Weather Underground to play back what it did for the last few hours and if there is a yellow or red cloud in your vicinity, expect to get wet. If you Google search for Hawaii coconut forecast, it’s pretty much that. Just keep your eyes on the skies and territorial view.
• Activities: We found our one way driving radius was an hour and a half. Anything East of Liberia was too far. This is mainly since the top speed you hit out here is about 50mph on winding backroads as we describe them in the US and no fousix lane highways, so it just takes awhile to get anywhere. We could have stayed overnight out there but just ran out of time and motivation to do it. That eliminated many of our bookmarks. We just lived the beach life and chilled in the pool.
• Rain Jackets and Swim Suits: Yes, you need a rain jacket. More importantly, bring 3-5 pairs of swim suits. Several pair are always drying outside. The rain here is warm so it’s easier just to get wet while wearing swim gear than trying to stay dry. We swear by the boxer brief lined swim trunks now.
• Shirts and Sweating: As thin and light as possible. The Under Armour tech tees and Willit sun shirts were my go to. My Roblox shirt was too thick. Cotton is a no go.
• Plane Landing at night (LIR): It’s disorienting here on your first night. Get a room at Hilton Garden Inn when you land, and book your Adobe car to pick up at the hotel the next morning around 8:30-9:00. They will meet you in the lobby with no fuss. Ask for a late check out and hit a nearby waterfall first thing in the morning and come back and shower before driving to the beach towns.
• Power Outages: It happens once or twice a day, comes back on in 30 seconds or 30 minutes. You get used to it, no stress.
• Diamante: It was okay, depends what you’re looking for. Only 5 zip lines even though one is Superman. I like the 10-12 Zips in the rainforest and this is more hill peak to hill peak zig zagging down. You can take an ATV tour out of Potrero up there for added exhilaration.
• Road Trip to Nosara: We randomly decided to do a drive down to Nosara. We took Route 160 out and 150 back. You want a miserable pot hole mostly dirt road adventure, 160 is it. That must have been what the roads used to be. White knuckled for 2 hours of it. 150 is freshly paved and was a saving grace coming home. Wasn’t too much to see that we hadn’t already experienced. Just got some lunch and drove back home.
• Length of Trip: If you’re not traveling around, 7-10 days is perfect. We did a month to test if we like long term travel. After 29 days, we’ve found that 14 is a sweet spot for us. If you stay longer and have family and friends come in for a week at a time, you will have different vibes and activity interests to re-discover or re-explore and keep it fresh.
• Traffic laws? You mean suggestions. Just add a few speed bumps where we want you to slow down and yield signs on one lane bridges. In straightaways outside of the towns, it’s fine to go 15-20 kph over the limit (others will be too). Watch for speed bumps in any 40kph zone. There are 14ish speed bumps on the 1.5hr drive between Liberia and Flamingo and a handful of yield or stop signs. Doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. Never saw a stop light. Just pass whatever is on the road (dog, person, biker, horse, kid, dirt bike with 3 people) when you can see ahead of you, don’t need a passing zone or sign to do it. If something is up ahead that you’re slowing down for, throw your flashers on. Turn em off when it moves. The end.
• Buying Stuff: Just like camping at home, you need to bring it with you. There is no Walgreens, only 7-11 equivalent places. You can get a few things at the corner store but there are no malls here or Amazon or deliveries. It makes you appreciate living “off the grid” in a way.
• Pura Vida: The rules and laws that exist down here are mostly non existent or suggestions. Just live life, preferably in the slow lane. They don’t complicate anything down here. It makes me realize how consumeristic and hectic and scare too easy we are in the states. You do you, they do them. You’ll see some funny stuff and have some stories (walking your horse while holding rope out the car window, dirt bike wheelies, 3 people on mopeds, etc.)
• Local Resident Vibe: The primary industry here is tourism. Everyone is very friendly and welcoming. You’re going to see low quality of living as you drive around (ex. Shanties), that’s just how they live here. We may call it poverty back in the states, but they are just living their life just like you are living yours. I never felt threatened or unsafe in any way. Only saw police twice in our entire trip, and they were just strolling around casually. The nicer the area, the more we avoided it. The more rustic it was, the more we were intrigued.

I hope it helps! Have a great trip!

This might not be enough for its own post but I thought it was too long for the theory thread so here it is. I’ve been thinking lately about the TayloTaylor™️ dichotomy and how it seems a lot of songs on TTPD are about this, and i’ve been sort of looking backwards at some of her other more recent works in this lens. One thing that I can’t really get out of my mind is Tis the Damn Season and Dorothea being another possible example of this split.
We know Dorothea and TTDS are sister songs, similar to the folklore trio, and I’ve always kind of had in my mind they were both Taylor in some ways, just fictionalized, like the folklore trio—and I still think that’s true, but I feel like I’ve had a ✨revelation✨.
So hear me out. The unnamed narrator, the one who’s singing in dorothea, is young closeted Taylor. She was left behind at a young age, she is happy for famous Taylor, but still feels a little abandoned and wonders what could’ve been. Also, she’s literally a friend of Dorothy.
a tiny screen’s the only place I see you now
And I’ve got nothing but well wishes for ya
She’s left behind, but also not really bitter about it, she really does want the best for Dorothea. This could be a friend, sure, but I feel like it does take a lot of strength of character to be abandoned by a friend and still be like “I wish you the best but no hard feelings.” But it’s a little easier when it’s you, chasing your own dreams.
This place is the same as it ever was
But you won’t like it that way
It’s never too late to come back to my side
The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo
And if you’re ever tired of being known for who you know
You know you’ll always know me
Essentially saying, you can always come back to me if you get sick of how you’re living: the media, the scrutiny, the closeting. But, she knows that she won’t really like it if she abandoned everything she has now to go back to her pre-fame life. (I don’t really have an answer for the Tupelo part or why she would call it out specifically, besides being the birthplace of Elvis, but if anyone has anything to add here I’m open to hearing it!)
skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes — to me this isn’t literally Andrea, but more like managers/people in power over her and back in the day she felt like she had more control, wasn’t as far removed from her queerness. The childhood friends motif seems to me to show she used to be very connected, before she “moved away” aka was separated from it. As she got more famous, the “pageant schemes” because much larger scale and weren’t just a mom to annoy anymore; now she’s “a queen, selling dreams, selling makeup and magazines”.
Meanwhile Taylor™️ is Tis the Damn Season. Obviously on the surface this song is about a childhood best friend or lover that you left behind but always wonder about, but lately I’m thinking it might be a metaphor for the parts of herself she left behind.
If I wanted to know who you were hanging with
While I was gone I would have asked you
It's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass
But I felt it when I passed you
This is interesting to me because Dorothea seems to be such a light spirited song, kind of wistful maybe, but not mad, but ttds seems a lot more bitter. This is almost animosity, like famous Taylor is bitter about what she had to leave behind/couldn’t take with her.
There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me — her dreams were irreconcilable. They both ached—her longing to be authentic, and queer, and her dream of success. There wasn’t a way to achieve both, and she had to choose between them.
I also think the metaphor of the holidays adds to this interpretation, because holidays like Christmas are typically a time when you’re off work and you’re with family. For someone with fame like Taylor, presumably it’s a period of safety where she can kind of just be, relax, and be herself, but that likely brings feelings and thoughts of “what if it was always like this”. That’s just speculation on my part, but does seem on theme for most of the song. Additionally, It always leads to you in my hometown : she doesn’t say “our”, she says “my”.
The obvious,
the road not taken looks real good now is her face to face with this part of herself she’s been running from for years, wondering what if it hadn’t been like this. The song is FULL of this what-if, but it’s not really a cut and dry regret like she thinks she should’ve stayed. She doesn’t regret leaving, but she does regret who she left behind.
Then, most importantly,
I won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay
This is kind of heartbreaking with this interpretation. “Don’t wait for me to come back to you because I’m not sure I can commit to leaving everything behind, but I also won’t ask you to come with me, and leave behind your security and safety.”
The tone of TTDS just seems older and more mature/adult, whereas Dorothea seems to be more simplistic and youthful, like she is a younger version of her. They don’t seem to be the same age at all, which is strange given that they’re kind of love songs about people who grew up together and therefore should be around the same age now. I feel like this also lends itself to Dorothea being a younger version of Taylor™️.
This is followed up immediately by
so I’ll go back to LA and the so-called friends
Who’ll write books about me, if I ever make it
And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking
It’s a little strange, saying “don’t ask me to stay” and then immediately complaining about what she has to go back to. This is delivered very… bitterly is how I would describe it, she’s bitter about what she has to go back to. Honestly narratively we don’t really get the sense that Taylor™️ knows why she wants to return, just that she’s supposed to. (Side note: I am not sure what to think about the “write books about me” line. I at first thought it was a throwaway line about the industry and people turning on each other, etc etc, but then in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived she ALSO says “were you writing a book?” Which makes me think there’s more to it, but I’m not sure what.)
And then finally,
And the heart I know I’m breaking is my own
Because it is, on both sides of it.
The end, let me know what you think! I’ve never really done an analysis on here and it’s definitely not as big brained or researched as some of yours, but I still wanted to share :)

I was invited by a couple of friends to go camping a few days ago. I'm honestly still exactly not sure if any of it was real, but I wish to share my story nonetheless. It began last Monday, when friend number Six invited friends One through Five to a girls get away. She claims to have found this beautiful spot in the mountain on one of her hikes and she says it’s perfect for seeing the stars at night. I was skeptical at first, to be honest I don't really like being outdoors, but it sounded like an experience worth having, so I thought "why not, this will be a wonderful memory to look back on!". I had just purchased a new camera as well, so I was honestly starting to warm up to the idea. I could take pictures of our excursion into the woods and make cute little picture frames for everyone for their birthdays, it would've been so cute! But things did not go at all as I had envisioned.
So the day of the trip arrives, a bit faster than I would've liked, but honestly I think I was just anxious about… I kept feeling this weight in my chest that made it uncomfortable to breathe, but I was going into the woods, strange things happen to women in movies; Jason Voorhees, Sasquatch, Shia LaBeouf! Who knows what could happen! Not to mention there is always the chance I could fall into a lake and get covered in leeches, or get surrounded by wolves, or chased up a tree by a bear… Hopefully a very soft bear so I'll at least know one pleasure before I die! There are all sorts of fears I had envisioned before the day of the trip, but anxiety just be like that.
I met up with my friends at the trail and learned that friend Six decided to bring her bf along, which I was upset about but I guess he was just going to get a hotel room nearby so he'd be close enough to her to feasibly show up if we needed any help. She later told us that he worries all the time because his father went missing in these woods years ago and he's worried the same might happen to her. This is where I learned that men tend to stay out of those woods because men have been going missing in those woods for years, but according to friend Six, she's been coming to this forest for a while now and hasn't had any bad experiences. Hearing that did oddly put me at ease, but now all I could wonder at the time was what happened to all those poor men.
Deep into the night we're all chit chatting, talking about where we are in our lives, things that are bugging us, what our hopes are, and dancing to the music of nature… but which of course I mean we got shit drunk, smoked some great wee, talked about sex, laughed over silly anime scenes, and twerked to slipknot girly bops!. It was such a fun night at that point that I honestly wish I could go back and never let that night end. It was intoxicating how beautiful the sky looked, and when gazed up it was almost like we could scoop the stars into our hands and sip from the sea of stars. I was worried we'd just be on our phones all night filming tiktoks or something but even with no signal, no one really seemed to be too stressed about it, we all just kind of felt safe… Almost welcomed into the forest, like being embraced by a loving mother. But unfortunately, heaven isn't forever, and men come not but to steal, kill, and destroy.
As we were drinking we decided to tell some scary stories… or well I decided to because I thought "it's so cliché but we have to do it. It feels like tradition almost." plus I would've regretted it if we didn't do it, so fuck it, right? Right. So we go around telling scary stories to one another, and I mention to friend Six that I keep thinking about those poor men that went missing. I then asked if any women had gone missing, and surprisingly she said yes… it was way back in the 1800's but after that there had never been a single missing woman in that forest again. The forest was actually named after the first young woman who went missing all those years back, and now there are all these rumors about it but I don't believe in that stuff so I didn't really pay much attention… I kept thinking "I'll just wait for the manga… or the shitty Hollywood cash grab of it…" but I DO vaguely remember the history cause I find dark history lore to be super fascinating. So there was a time when the area had more Ojibwe people living here, before gentrification moved into town. She went on to tell us that The Ojibwe people eventually began to keep to themselves because as more white people moved in, more of their daughters went missing. There are yearly parades to honor the missing daughters and to spread awareness to those living in the town. The police try to shut it down but they still do it every year.
Not long after hearing that we hear something howl in the distance. Friend Three howls back and friend Five falls on her out of her camping chair laughing. I tell them to knock it off because the last thing we need is for her to accidentally attract a wolf during mating season! I don't know if that’s a thing, but it sounds like something that’s a thing… So I'm just going to assume that it is. Don't judge me. She then says "But what if it's Taylor Lautner? Or Joe Manganiello? Personally… I'm more of a Meatloaf guy myself… But you know… RIP… But Joe is pretty fine and my mom did always hope I'd marry a black man to get melanin back in our family… But I don't think a splash of melanin is gonna override this asian/african skin so… Anyways! So these guys come walking past our camp site, and we're all drunk and high so we're already all on edge upon seeing random men this deep into the forest, but friend Four gets up and says "who the fuck are you and what're you doing here!?" One of the men quickly apologizes and tells us they're actually out here camping as well. They said a friend of theirs found this waterfall in the forest that glows because it captures the moon's light. Friend Two hears this and asks if we can go with them, to which we all begrudgingly agree.
At the "mooncuzi" I like to call it, we all sit around this beautiful natural pool lit up by the moon, and we were worried it would be cold but I was surprisingly warm, if I had to guess I'd assume there's a magma vein under there or something? Idk, I'm not a geologist or volcanologist, but something kept it warm and it wasn't my tiny bladder! Everyone was really relaxed and the guys honestly seemed super cool, and guy One honestly seemed really nice. I call him guy One because he's number 1 to me, we're still together now, and we even have another partner now, so yay! We all began talking and some of us were hitting it off, clearly… but we had all been drinking and smoking more which, honestly we had stopped… but we couldn't pass up the opportunity to get cross-faded in a mooncuzi. Nuh. Nope. Not on my watch. But someone clearly didn't get the vibe memo, because friend Two screams out "bro what the fuck I said no!"
The next thing we hear is "You don't have to yell about it like some kind of cunt!" Everyone runs over to try and figure out what's going on. Turns out guy Five didn't like being told no. He and friend Two were playing a drinking game with friends Three and Four and guy Three and Four. We learned that guy Five dared friend Two to take her top off, to which she said politely refused, and the guys didn't seem to like that. They tried to convince her it's part of the game. One of the guys said she was already in her underwear anyway, so she might as well… My guy, One, and guy Two scolded their friends for their behavior, which is why guy Two and friend Two are married now… Guess nice guys don't finish last, huh? Anyways, They scolded their friends for their behavior, I remember my guy yelling "you never speak to a woman like that!" and "If I ever catch you trying to peer pressure a woman again I'll take your testicals in my hand and squeeze on them slowly until I know what it's like to feel one pop in my hand." and it was honestly the hottest thing I've ever heard a man say… a bit violent… but fuck was I glad I was in the water!
Guys One and Two apologized for their friends' actions the whole way back. I asked them why they remained friends with them and guy One had gone off to college while guy Two went into the service, so the two of them had been away for a few years, but they swore their friends never used to be like that. This was actually supposed to be a reunion hike of sorts since they both happened to come back around the same time. After meeting up with guys Three, Four, and Five though, they realized their friends had been warped by these podcasts about alphas and betas and maximizing your sigma or something, and tried to convince him to listen to some pickup artist that claimed to know the secret to unlocking the female brain. Also known as, stupid useless slop grifters make to get rich off young boys with zero confidence and zero bitches. Lastly, he tells me guy Three was actually raised by a single mother alongside his two sisters, so he really wouldn't expect that kind of behavior from him. Guy Four was always sort of sketchy but they thought he was "just being funny", men right? The only thing they felt was weird about him was this one time when they were teens his sister moved away and he got really quiet afterwards, but then he dated a few people that looked almost identical to her, but for some reason he didn't see it, so they started calling him "little sister" (or did they? oooo) or "Lil" for short, joking he had an undiagnosed sister complex… Ew. That’s all I’ll say to that. The last guy, Five, they said always seemed fine to them, they didn't elaborate, so idk what their idea of "fine" is, sorry to disappoint.
Not long after we got back to the camp we heard engines in the distance, and as they got closer and closer we all stared in confusion. No one should be riding vehicles out this way, and friend 6 knows her bf wouldn't come out here without alerting us.
The vehicles stopped after surrounding us with their lights pointing right at us. We heard the familiar voices of guy Three, along with 4 new voices. He whined about how we hyurt his widdle feefees or something obnoxious. I tried to listen but it's just so hard to listen to some overgrown pissbaby go on about their fragile ego. Guys One and Two went to confront guy Three and his posse, asking why they didn’t wait at the car. Guy Three told them they wouldn’t understand because they’ve given themselves over to feminist ideas and allowed themselves to become beta cucks. He told them that simps deserve to die so other men won’t be warped by feminist witch pussy magic like they have… Like we just met these guys and he’s already acting like we had sex… This man's logic was like a runaway train, the cars are all there but they ain’t making it to their destination. Guys One and Two continue to argue with guys Three, Four, and Five, before guys Six and seven come up behind them and put knives to their necks. At this moment I noticed a gleam in guy Three’s eyes. He now thinks he’s invincible… I can see the depravity in his eyes as he looks upon friend Two, stripping her down in his mind, imagining all the sick things he’ll do. And as if to validate my suspicions, he walks up to her and says “You never did complete that dare… How about we start a new game… But this time we won’t have any need for truths.” I watch as fear washes over Two’s face, as she begins to imagine what he is implying, almost as if his depraved thoughts were being projected into her mind, instilling suffering on her before he had even begun to touch her. She catches herself, refusing to give him the satisfaction of fear and spits in his face. She then tells him “you couldn’t even please your hand with a prick that small.” The look of anger on his face was honestly delectable. If I could, I would put it on canvas and call it “Portrait of a Scorned Man” or “Man who just realized being a dick doesn’t make yours bigger”. ANYWAYS, he then began to yell something about "it's up to real men to show women their place in society!" OOO so angwy! They started circling around us like starving wolves. One of them placed themselves against friend Five’s back and said "I always wondered if trans women looked different down there." Which angered friend Five, but not as much as it did friend Four who tends to be a bit of a hot head.
Friend Four may look like a pretty cute petite princess, but she's manlier than most men I know. She's a competitive marksman, as well as being a gymrat who likes to build cars on the weekends. She's also the girlfriend of friend Five, not that that’s important but I feel like it should be important. So anyways, she starts blasting right? And one of these guys yells "what the fuck they’ve got funs!? Who the fuck gave these stupid bitches guns!?" I then hear one of them try to antagonize her by saying "pretty young thang like you shouldn't be carrying such a big piece until she's used to it! AYO!" So she shot a round off at the tree he took shelter behind as if to mock him by letting him know his life is in her hands… She looked like a real boss bitch, like for real! That girl is HIM! She has always been him, she will always be him! While this was taking place, friend Six reached out to her boyfriend now that we could finally use the radio without fear of them taking it. We explained what was happening and asked him to bring help. He told us to tie the button down and to hide it from sight so that he could listen in while he headed to the station to get help. I feel so bad for that man, having to listen to all those screams, feeling completely powerless to do anything in the moment, but we’re so thankful to him for being there in the way that he was.
Gun fire kept ringing out as Four kept firing rounds into the forests yelling “I shoot to maim!” and “You’re not safe here!” hoping to scare the men enough to make them retreat because none of them seemed to have rifles on them… But then we hear it… The first scream… Everyone freezes in their tracks, their heart stilled by this sudden shriek of terror that seemed to only further race towards the all consuming darkness. The moment it stopped nothing remained but the slow encroaching crawl of raindrops and the rapid beating drums of the fear in our hearts. It's then that the rain came down like a closing curtain on the chapter of our innocence, because that’s when we heard the second scream, a scream just as chilling as the first, ascending high into the tree tops before we see something that shocks everyone to their core; the haunting image of a man’s face still screaming, a face still unaware its going to meet, a face that still hopes to be saved but never will. Within unison, as if hell had a chorus, we all screamed in silence as we turned to run. With no other means of safety, my friends, guys One and Two, as well as myself ran for the tent. We don't really know what happened after we got into the tent, but not a second went by that we didn't think we wouldn't be next. We know better now, but in that moment I felt both relief and fear for my life. I just kept thinking how lucky I was that I was fortunate enough to die with my dignity still intact… I kept thinking "at least those man babies didn't get to do whatever depravity they had in mind"
Well by now everyone knows what happened, it's been on the news. Those 3 guys and all of their cronies turned up missing… But what the news won't tell you is that we were saved by Mama Makwa, we call her that due to the sounds we heard, as well as the site we saw afterwards. The bellowing sound of vengeance that came in the form of a bear’s roar was as loud as the mean screaming they saw a 9 ft tall bear with skin dripping off of its bone like fur. We later learned that men referred to it as “Slippy Skin” aka "Wejuk", as it seemed the bear would change appearance depending on who gazed upon its visage, but this was not "Wejuk". One by one, we heard those men scream for their lives, describing a creature with a mouth made of human hands that had palms covered by teeth shaped like hypodermic needles. It had claws that seemed like stone daggers that were etched by The Ojibwe. The men warned each other "Don't look into its eyes!" before proclaiming how sorry they were for the things they'd done… They complained of the putrid stench suffocating them as they were pulled into its gaping maw. They screamed of the creatures rotting viscous flesh melting into their own, and making their skin a part of it, as if their skins were fuel for the fear this best could instill by its mere dominion over them. But we never saw that creature… Instead, after the screams stopped, we were greeted by this beautiful creature that looked like a bear, only it had this glow about it, and its fur seemed almost like the softest of opalescent feathers. Its eyes looked just like the aurora borealis, and she was mesmerizing. We felt safe, and welcomed, and most of all protected… After everything that happened, I think we will be coming back, because we know Mama Makwa will be there to protect us. We believe Mama Makwa is an avenging spirit born from the fear those lost daughters felt, here to make sure no other women ever have to suffer like they did within this forest. We also now understand why those men all went missing. My boyfriend and friend Two's husband weren't attacked by Mama Makwa… Only the men who felt any sort of ill intent toward us women that night saw Mama Makwa in that form, the form they confused for Slippy… But knowing there is a safe haven for women out there, I'm thinking we will have another girls night next year, anybody wanna come?

Not shared, nor my shade; but something to be weaved; just as the measure of disappointment became it's own solution. But I talked my way through things forbidden, just to find myself blind in bed with those who are dead. Clumsy, but altogether natural of course, because it's consciousness what you refer in the description, yet that's what we don't get a lot about. See your deeds the way you are seen, and then return to a restless place: and the question in-between sheets will be why. Well, I just can't motivate myself to work without hot bitches staring. And that's the truth. Sad but True
— Hearfelt comment for an instagram witch.
Del desprecio a ese descarte, no he visto muchas cosas. Así se pasa una más para las cuentas, y aquí otro más para los versos, por qué aquí no hemos sido vistos. Cuánto más querría uno, que sino lo cuentas ni mucho menos piensas: << lo de este pibe que cosa más horrible>>, haciendo eso lamentable, por qué en decirlo nadie ha mentido. ¡Es horrible! Que cara es entonces la cuenta de lo que le sale a uno vivir sin más complejos; mejor seria cobrarmelo, para así saber que de algo ha valido. Bloqueame.
— Heartfelt comment for a random supermodel-to-be.
The Spirit of Fire
Flames begone, flames in spite: their warmth I felt - so I closed my fist until I could feel the warmth of my blood in my hand. And in dreams Fire came up to me and said: who am I? And I said unto him: you are bound to my bidding, thus your name misery will be. But fire wretched as he was, got closer and asked: and who are you?
And I said unto him that the blood of David ran through my veins, as I was his heir; for the mother of God claim me from death as a son. So Fire tried me, and figured it out.
You are son of woman —said Fire unto me— but as Fire acknowledged the name, I extended my left hand, and took Fire by the neck throwing him into the gound. — You are going to lace yourself to the right hand of the beast, and you'll keep him steady, so I can cleanly take him down. And Fire stayed down, and with his forehead kissing the ground asked unto me —why would the heir of David do so to earthly man?
And I said unto Fire that the beast from the abyss had left no mother for God, so I was to leave none of his body left for his head; as I was going to make it bleed until the end of the end of times.
The Spirit of Earth
Shapeless and without body, but keen within her many numbers, Earth came up to me in dreams, and said: who am I? And posessed in spirit as I was, I said unto her, that God had made her maiden again, and that she shall become the coins that Judas never received, which were to become the due payment of man and women for the body of Christ. Then I extended my right hand, and grabbed Earth by her hair —which descended deep into the abysses of hell— and cut it short so the demons of Lilith would no longer had her gripped by her back.
You are now a woman, and I'm going to rise you from the grounds. You'll lace yourself to the left hand of the beast, and keep it steady so with one shot I can cleanly take him down.
The Spirit of Air
A dream shaped by written words, whispered down for years by the currents of this Montain, and it's requiem witnessed but by a few — the end of dreams. But from where I standed at the peak, I called upon the distant currents that went down, and asked them: who am I?
And Air came unto me as bird, which had thousands of letters for feathers, and in the tongue of dead men answered.
"Somebody who only a few will remember by strange deeds; as the burden on your back, is a past tainted by impossible dreams. You were a lunatic giving new names to folk, and folk never bothered to remember —so your name must be freak, as you died in a forgotten shack some short time ago."
And as Air said these things upon me, I called Misery —as I had dubbed Fire — and told him to get inside my shot. The burden as Air had said, became lesser as i took the shot from my quiver. And I said upon Misery; that he was to set ablaze this arrow, as I was taking down the bird of Britain, and that I would do so, so God would give the deeds of Earth some better names.
The Lord is making a bridge between the empire of strength, and the last empire of men. Now by God's grace, I'm making the tongue of free men, the tongue of Spain. You will be eventually bound to my bidding, and if not me, it will be to the one I'm preceding; for I'm giving you twenty years to attone your wrongdoing. Alas, now because of your wretchedness, my shot on earthly men won't be clean, for his left leg won't stay steady.
Your old name was apathy, now I'm calling you Cisma, which in the tongue of dead men means schism. So now by the will of God lay unto the ground and say the words you've been teached. And as the arrow blazed forward, it's bending motion pierced the veil hiding the secret ladder of men. The bird of Britain catched on Fire, and it's hollering resounded throught the ladders of the mountain until the depths of the abyss. A column of air turned into fire, then violenty erupted from the vowels of the bird, and the wild fire spread as a storm from west to east all throughout the five kingdoms of men away from its own fiery wings, with a gift of misery and a few words to say.
"The name of your woman or the name of your man, will no longer explain their purpose to a man, a woman, or God. Charred words written by thunder will now be the new ladder of men — but until then, darkness upon thee."
The House of Water
I head into the coasts, and the beautiful beaches in-between, to find the stranger who burns images in the skin of men. He is the stranger, and has adopted the body of a monster, and he is one who cannot be understood, so he went on to only go out home in stunts, for the burdens in his heart have become too great to bear. Through terrible pains he has given all he once was for an identity, and as I pick up on his past, i found familiarity in the feelings of his heart. Oh dear friend how we found looking in sadness to ourselves, after doing same but with different means, carrying into our shoulders the loneliness of this world. As you have in-skin the garments of the strange doctrine that I preach — I shall congrate you, for you truly have fought the world entire, for my doctrine is the words of those who shall defeat the world entire.
I may not have your strangeness in-body, but I have it in these words, and in the true feelings of my heart. And I say in admiration that there's no higher form of art, philosophy or religion: than those who perform the highest thing they can give a name about.
Now even within solitude, and at odds with what old dead men call God, I see you and I found strength in you, as I can see you are within me, and in that, you are within everything as it should be - as is meant in everyone who does something that touches the heart of another man. I call this the kingdom of God. Yet blind men and women will wonder how can the kingdom of God possibly be within two outcasts such as you and me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Upong giving my regards and waiting for response, I found my way into a bench. It was a warm afternoon, and the wind carried the water of the sea. The bird of Britain came about down from the wind of north, and layed on the bench were I was sitting.
The bird asked: why hast thou become this?
And I said back to bird, scorched he was and nearing death, that it was me someone who was supposed to give names, yet for years I couldn't figure out one for myself. Then on went to being given a name, Alas all the wrong ones. Did Adan gave himself a name? - I asked the bird back. And there was no response from bird. Then I continued.
A man has the essence of his soul retained by what he is seen doing. Yet I did things nobody saw, so my soul wasn't with God but with something just as ancient, and nonetheless unknown by men in its true nature — then Satan as the better known devil, came about and pushed me into a hole. It was my own doing. Yet the things I did, I thought were seen. But nonetheless what I did was without contemplation on a posible return. Just as somebody who prints an image on their own skin. It's permanent. This is the essence of a memory in the soul of the man who's seen by others. But in the familiarity of a man who picked every irreversible decision like the Alien, I find myself feeling sympathy, for the man is still not what he has been seen doing, he shall redeem himself by what he decides to turn himself into.
Is this a way of saying that you want to get yourself a tattoo? Get a new look? - the bird mockingly asked.
And I gave the scorched bird no answer.
Then the bird said unto me: what about your career as a prophet, uh? And the things you said about returning with substance? Do you actually think this is substance?
And i considered what the Bird said, then I negated with a movement of my own head. It is not i answered, but i find the memories of me not making sense unbearable. For those mean the memories of a fool, un pendejo, an insane person, or both. And I will always try to amend what I don't do well. But now I wish for only one thing, and it is to be remembered as someone who makes sense, and who out of that sense, made good upon the world. I don't expect anything in return for what I do now, as it is merely an outlet to keep me sane while I finish editing my work. It's clear I'm too incompetent to be a competent influencer. As for once, I don't care about influencing anyone into what I think; but to perform what I think it's important.
Then every proverbial student is free to take classes so as they see fit, and to interpret such classes as their comprehension gives them grasp of what it's said. In such regard, this is what I offer now, while I make the journey to Madrid. And the bird tilted it's head so as to observe me with his left eye, then after a long impasse, it made a loud and painful caw, and finally flew away. Soon after the bird flew, I looked upon the stars in the nascent night, and confessed to them, that it was the memories of who we were, what often stumps us into wrong beliefs of who we should be, maybe even wasting an entire lifetime retained by that which other people remembered us as being. But we are not the owners of our own names, the place we go, and our destiny. That's the biggest lie the western world of hollywood heros tell you, as in truth is collective agreement what determines what we look like doing and thus the meaning we should comfort to, recalling that names are practical mechanisms to remember the purpose of things, their meaning, and how their motion is described in the world.
But making the task of beating that collective belief, akin to the Nietzschean ideal of the camel turning into the lion, so as to transform it's spirit and become something else. But if it's the golden dragon of all the huamn values which judges you insane, will you be prepared to wrestle with the entire culture so as to have your way?
As I layed my eyes upon each star counting up to the number seventeen, I confessed of being scared of those beliefs, as revisiting the past, became a painful deed — and as I prepared to leave, I uttered one wish on the seventeenth point in the sky.
Lord please grant me strength, the way you have given my friend strenght.
2.
The night deepen, while the sea tide sang its own song of breathing. Some time passed, and then on the stranger showed himself approaching at the distance. I waved my hand at him, and after the instant, he found his way into my bench while I welcomed him with an extended fist which he casually bumped - after the short acknowledgement the dark alien looked at my face in between it's cover of dark, and looking at it undiscernable in its true features, with suspicion asked.
— What is it that you want?
I acknowledged him as a friend, then mentioned my brief research, as I had come to know him as man looking for a job, yet nobody would hire for things mundane due to his appearance. I listened closely to the news, and came to understand that this was a man looking for a second chance.Then I saw the intent behind his doing, and two words came to stick to my own thoughts. The first one was <> and the second one was <>. I was admired.
In analytical psychology I figured this man was the ESFP —the personality archetype related to the performer and the entertainer—, possessed in an abnormal way by the spirit by which a person submits to it's contrary nature, seeking to integrate and find fulfillment through the chase of what's perceived absent. If he was the ESFP then doing the flip by following the radial axis of each Jungian function in the stack towards their opposite resulted in the INTJ. The mastermind. The architect. The genius yet awfully complex individual. That was the elusive spirit he was chasing.
But a spirit and a character that at its most pronounced embodiment in a person, would experience life as an eternal foreigner hiding from the light of other men. Such made sense to me, for I myself was the INTJ, and had at spirit the ESFP. Him. So where as this man chased the spiritual fulfillment of being a complex and deep individual, I chased the fulfillment of becoming simpler, so I could demonstrate with action the deepest desires of my heart. One who was born plentiful in means to be liked, becomes complex, mysterious and uncomprehended, meeting one who will be seen trying to make sense becoming simpler. For Carl Jung portrayed the anima and animus of individuals, as the sense of what its absent, yet deeply cherished an valued. So I said these things to the alien, while he silently listened to me.
— All of that sounds like bullshit to me. -Said the alien after some contemplation .— Sorry but the things you say, don't mean anything to me.
And alas for I expected such response, as if one thing was true about this journey, was that explaining the journey in and of itself would become it's grimmest task. I affirmated what he just said with a slight nod of head.
— These things I say and how they relate to each other, in its excercise are similar to doing stecheometric balance with equations in the head, but simpler I'm afraid. - Then I paused, looked back into the sea, and continued. — That's high school chemistry, but I don't expect everybody to pick up on it, nor like it, nor understand it.
— Now i have called you a friend, and where I came from we dub with this title the people we share destiny with. As far as I'm concerned, we are chasing the same thing, which is the hardest posible thing. We both innately understand that we are not home, as we want our spirit to return to us, and that's not what a lot of people ever honestly try to attempt in a lifetime; as such is anyone's call to feel complete.
— And very few people ever reach true individuality, beyond the name they are imposed at birth.
Then I looked into the black alien, and in-between his foreign facial features, I interpreted something familiar. Disturbance. And I continued.
— We have given ourselves hell as we lived chasing something hard, so we can avoid the same hell later on when we are finally back to our own house. This is a christian precept, altought a rundimentary one. Does that makes sense to you?
And after listening such, the black alien calmly looked at the veil in my face in silence. Trying to discern what my face actually looked like, but the night was dark. Then turned his stare back to the reflection of the moon over the waters, giving some thought to what I just said. I opened up my backpack, and drawed two cans of beer from it. Offered one to him, and he silently refused with a gesture of hand. I popped my can and gave it a sip, while I myself stared at the tides coming in and out of the shore.
— If you wan't a tattoo, we can work that out. But this sounds annoyingly familiar, and my interest is not religious. Are you religious?
I nodded in affirmation, and complemented saying. — But my doctrine is something nobody has heard nor seen. For its aim, is doing as Christ said, in perfect means. Yet its true that the teaching fits you, as it's the teaching of the future man; and there's nothing in common between the current man and the future man, as they may very well be different species. This is the precept of evolution.
The alien seemed surprised.
— These two men don't know each other, for the current man doesn't know where the future man comes from, for he himself doesn't know where he is going. Yet in deep realization of your own artistic concept, I think you might want new ideas to meet with your appearance. So tell me, are you curious about what truly happens to a man after he dies? Do you want to learn how to read someone's mind? Do you want to blast with words of fire the hearts of an amazed crowd?
But the black alien broke his calm contemplation of what I was saying, and slighty disturbed, aggressively rebuked after hearing such.
— But you mentioned 'Christ', so you must be christian. How can a christian even say anything interesting in this current time? Last time I asked, their sayings were dreaded by restriction - so why would anyone condemn themselves to a life of bore? Are you a christian?
And I nodded after the question, in silence. Admittedly, for I knew what the problem was with being what I was, and my new companion was bang on identifying it. Made a pause, then raised my sight to where it met with the sky and the stars in it, and I said back to him.
— I am, but not one of a type you have ever seen, for the Christ that comes, is a Christ of art.
2.
The riptide sang, in its secret dialect of earth and sea. I looked upon the coast, turned an eye blind, and saw the ocean as the scorpio, and the land as the taurus; as it was the struggle between two lovers, never meant to consume each other. Ideal love then - yet not to confuse with this partnership as it was whimsilcally tied by the means in which i arranged my current conversation; for my lady somewhere waited for me. Then i allowed my eyes to rest still.
The alien looked upon me, undiscernable in my intentions, and again figured for himself that my interest towards him wasn’t clear. In suspicion, and after the moment he collected his thoughts asked “In your weird words you dubbed me performer, so what is it exactly that you wan’t from me. To me it seems like you are gathering people for some form of religious clown show. When you forced this meeting upon me, was this a proposal you thought i would find amusement in?”. And after the statement my own stare wandered in my conversation partner. While as he had his say, i returned to my can of beer, and finished it with a long gulp. Tempered in an unwillingness to fall to my new found friend irritation, i said within my own thoughts: “The alien looks easy going, but he is barbed in wit”.
Then i opened the can of beer that the stranger rejected; the loud pop resounded in the relative silence, interrupting for a moment the steady chorus of the sea. Gave it a long sip, and said.
– Theres no proposal in place yet. But im certain of something, and that is that both of us are messed individuals which reached the bottom doing the same thing - but the way my understandment of the human soul goes: two people can act by mere interaction as reactives to each other, creating a new chemical compound after the fact.
– This new psychology is very much like chemistry. But it is not my intention to draw you into something, but to pull myself out of this «something» by doing right on another person and maybe that person reflecting the good back on me. I just need a conversation partner, thats all. And i will do this with you, and with many people more. Presidents included.
The alien reflected on it, and after the hiatus of a long standing position of suspicion he finally gave in, and eased up with a slight smile. A strange smile of relief. But the smile, was all too familiar for me, as i realized the man was a tortured individual: a person in long standing pain. I smiled back the way he did, and continued.
– Our pain has a common name, and is a name that can be written with words unfortunately. It’s the devilish mother of all spiritual ills and its foundation, rests at the concept of a past that wasnt solved. It’s called «inadequeacy», and for people like you and me, understanding one day that such inadecuacy had to be solved by our own means, lead us into an act where our name changed as the changes in our cover up act to solve our inadequacy did.
– We never honored the past or the present in our pursuit, as we desired in passion to find solution to the present, by matching it into the idealization of some future without ever realizing that the old or present essence of ones being would be crushed into non existance by said future.
– Then we found the realization of that new name, only to understand that its demands became a tyranny on the other faces of our soul: as our soul is not something that can be undestood in unity, but something that conceives in the beginning in multiple things which try to give shape to one thing. Theres many people in a village, and our minds, are no exception.
— But happiness is only achieved by those who have their soul entire - or those who are the same person regardless of the context and scenario. And we gave to much to somebody that wasn't us, as our spirit took possession and lead us down.
– This is this the essence by which someone goes to hell, only to do one thing over again, getting an ever lasting pain for all the things that were given up chasing that which was absent. The more someone is forced into being shaped by the thing that was concevied in lust, the more the individual misses the place they used to call home, for that is no longer within ones reach. Does this makes sense to you?
The alien left me with no answer, and as he contemplated the sea, a tear travelled through his strange face.
– In this state of anguish, affliction rarely ever feels company, as the very individual condition that was pursued, became a full suit and persona to be forced upon and wear. Hell, is one lonely place man because we only learn to speak a language, that only makes sense to ourselves. But i think we can find a way out of it. This is why I'm here.
“Look, what you’ve done, it’s not something i can see the way you can see my own doing on me.” The alien replied. “Besides the way in which i canno’t see your face in this night, you seem ordinary — but what you talk and the way you say it, evokes in every word regret. What is it that you’ve done that has you regret like this?”
As the alien finished speaking, I emptied the can of beer, layed my eyes on the irregular grooves that my feet had left on the sand, and then replied back to him, after making a recap of the story i had repeatedly told myself after falling down.
“My story, is the fairy tale of a guy who makes way for the new coming of a new man; a better man for the world, while he casts disarray upon the earth: much to his dismay, at the expense of his own soul as the people who become victims of disasters, were ones who this man deemed unfair; cruel, evil, despicable in past. That was at the beginning."
"Theres a pile of corpses behind that character — even in covid time, people as close as the local priest of the small town he lived in, would break their neck after falling in the shower, as he had the slightest suspicion of their secret deeds. All clean deads for that matter. Untraceable to nothing but sheer randomness. Magic as it seeems. But were this folk truly evil people or even guilty of anything? You may ask - the man never knew it for sure, as he never had faculties such as godly omniscience to actually know it; which has taken a toll on him, as the burden of justice is an unberable one for anything but a god."
"Which leads to another point: spontaneously picturing random numbers in the head, associating them with psychological compounds by angular momentum, and actually being bang on the suspicion. Truth friend, in its stochastic presentation: it's unberable.”
“Consequential of such attempts to rationalize his own story in the eyes of people such as close family, my dude became clinically diagnosed with referenced thinking. Which are fancy words for schizophrenia. Nobody believed the story as it was uttered."
"Yet the consequences are there for everyone to see, altought not visible in their cause and effect by anybody but this guy, which lead him first into regret over ever starting his quest as a reformer; and then repent.”
“Now before he realized of this lets call it «curse», he preached for years over the internet as the disasters started to slowly creep up. He preached in a fashion parallel to Niestzches Zarathustra; Zarathustra meaning a famous philosophical device artificied by the philosopher Niestzche, who’s aim was to portray the best posible man, as something he dubbed the <<Übermensch>> ”.
“Such concept being the seemingly more elegant brand of a humanist ideal for a not so distant future: today - albeit a wrong one, for this guy was not dyonisian himself. The backbone of his framework, is analytical psycholgy becoming a chariot for a true understandment of human nature: and ultimately a facilitator for love within light: not within ignorance; not within darkness. Most philosophers today though would mock anything analytical in it's aim."
"Then on the guy preached and dwelved further into the relative hole of his own doctrine: and became imprisoned by what he didn’t got right at first attempt, making him in the process the character that Nietzsche from the comfort of his own writers seat, never attempted to actually embody within realistic means: eventually figuring out within himself the ultimate Nietzschean aristocrat: a magic pen granted by being capetian by mother: from judah by father."
"But Alas, you have no idea how common suicide is within philosophers after they finish their best work. As language, becomes the ultimate barrier for understandment, and then to ones capacity to feel love. Difference — true saliency in ones individual destiny— leads to the gravest posible pain. Ironic isn’t it?”
“Besides technical work with a new form of psychology inspired by analytical chemistry, as that drawed from his efforts during the light of day, five years ago, once he felt the urge to try to reach out to the world from a position of what he deemed was greater understandment: he primitively preached during night his new set of ideas for people to behave beyond the limitations of manipulative psychology, albeit a harsh doctrine meant to clear the way for a better product: Christ himself."
"This is not a doctrine a human being can actually perform, as such its christianity at its highest capacity to bear fruit. It’s an impossible doctrine, yet solves the oldest problem posed in the bible. All which sounds very sci-fi bullshit-y but actual problems started for the protagonist in this tale, when the preaching matched with terrible consequences. Not figurative, but within tangible reality.”
“So just as we talk, theres a small legion of hackers pretending to be doing internet social experiments while talking in an artsy matter: much in my own style, entertaining the exact same concepts - a legion of dangerous monkeys, i have no control over."
"One of the many unexpected consequences being this, yet prompted by something evil; ancient: essentially replicating what my protagonist developed and then preached over the years, while these "hacktivists" lay their attention on things and people, as they select them and enforce upon them strict surveillance, to behave properly. Then to destroy them, as they did in 2020 with many corporations and institutions.A bizarre combination of theater actors to my own liking, and then cyber-security demigods: omniscient in their claims to surveill, and they are - derivative such of another device of what I've done; which is to build a theater so people can make-believe that they are infact performing within themselves something greater - but that's matter for another story."
“Most of the corpses piling up flat out dead, have no relation to him whatsoever; they became victims as my protagonist took measures to fight back the monster he found at the foundation of the known world. This is not an elaborate analogy for one's own unseen capacity for evil, as i mean this: a monster as literally as it can be. For these things friend, im doomed as in true strenght, i have nothing but the pen i use to write down what i think albeit always at danger of it’s eventual inversion. I have no real friends left. Not one who can understand, or help bear the pain: as friendship and love are all gated by understandment."
"The full story has many more vertients, but i think i’ve done it enough justice. This is the predicament of an insane man chased by his own shadow as he builds a better man: one who delivers heavenly things, and then a shadow stringed to deliver tyranny as the very strings behind him make the better man stumble while he tries to keep a grasp of his own spirit, and then of his own soul."
"That monster behind, is wicked smart — and cannot be outwitted nor overpowered but anything but divine smite."
“I’m heading now to a new country, to try to get friends from the only institution in the world who knows and adresses the current times being, and who by extension, might believe me. And to clarify, these being the end of times; but not the end of the world. Yet now i myself have a damocles sword pending over my own head, and i need to do something about it before it falls.”
And as i said these things, i reached out to my backpack drawing a third can of beer from it — besides my own super laptop, thats what my backpack had: an infinite supply of beer. Corona, Indio, Victoria, Dos Equis, Heineken; you name it. I popped the can, and gave it a long and definite sip as i emptied it complete.
The alien didn't try to show that he understood, but stood still in silence, with his sight in the sand below and pressing lips, knowing by my demeanor; that these things as I've said them was something that I needed to do. Then he said: "I don't follow man. You say you preach and then disasters occur. Like a prophet from the bible?"
"Yes. Then I preached to get rid of the things that are actually making the world worse, and something awoke soon after, and since then; everything I do is subject to being misinterpreted due to the diffamatory action of this thing. Now everytime I do something, it can be twisted and turned against my original intent. Right now the hackers are my worst problem: I may have a degree in computers but I have no fucking idea whatsoever of hacking. I earn my living as an A.I engineer.".
The alien raised his sight to meet with mine, and after doing some contemplation on the fact, quite simply said: "You are insane". Then lowered his own sight, and raised it again to meet with the sea and continued. "If you want a tattoo, we can work that out. But either way and whatever parts of your story are true and even worse; the ones you may be lying about: you sound dangerous in a delusional kind of sense, and my life is hard enough as is."
I pressed my fists, knowing then the old same thing had happened again. For I had never forced anything upon anybody, and I was willing to respect that until the bitter end. Then I released the build up of frustration with a loud sigh, and after this amend, I replied back.
"I understand and respect it. But let me just propose you that if you ever want to figure what is beyond life as it's lived by person who has never seen what is like to be someone you write a great story about; you can pin me, and I'll show you what's beyond that door. Give it some thought."
The alien; The Black Alien Project stayed there sitting, spechless but calm, almost expecting something else to be convinced about. But pointless, for i knew that nobody can be forced into anything without bringing a transgression into play – and i wasn’t one to taint myself in sin if it could be avoided. Not anymore.
3.
I made the distance at steady pace walking along the shore, until i found a small group of pines in-between the liminal space of the beach and the land. I sat with one of the pines trunk behind my back, and drawed the Schizo Pills from my eternal supply of traveller goodies.
Quetiapine 100 mg, and Olanzapine 10 mg, i made a smaller fragment from the olanzapine pill, and swallowed both complete. As their side effects were concerned, they would soon knock me out of conscience, as this little ritual was my own way of calling the day complete – then i layed there, vigilant, waiting for my own drowsiness to claim me into sleep - but the Bird of Britan came flying from above, and stood besides me.
\Chirp, Chirp, Chirp**
I watched the bird, annoyed, as its presence had become an omen for contempt. For me and the death people of my past. I frowned upon the little shit, and said nothing. The bird made a little nod, while tilting its head in excentricity the way birds do, and replied. — Hey Andrew!, do you remember when you tried to penetrate your own computer to make a universe grow inside of it? I just wan’t to know something: did your computer moan? Did it finally learnt how to scream your name?
\Chirp Chirp**
Ignoring the bird, i closed my eyes and stayed like that for a long moment, hoping to make the bird think i was asleep. Maybe that would make him leave.
— Can’t bullshit me like that Sweetheart. So please tell me something; why don’t you command one of your supermodels; these muses, to come here and warm the bed for you. It's a cold night and you seem lonely brah
. \Chirp Chirp**
I opened my eyes, and irritated, pointed menacingly at the bird turning my left hand into an imaginary gun. I had already failed at something today, and wasn’t convinced i needed the memory of the things i failed at before. Not now.

• Hol’ up cowboy ! you wan’t to bang my bird ass when you should be banging a bitch ass. What happened with Tyrone huckleberry? Did you managed to make him as impotent as you are right now? —I held steady my hand; and tired, the tempation to pull again the trigger on the bird was growing larger. I saw red roses in my own sight, making a terrible omen for a migraine forthcoming. Said nothing.

— The glowniggers are out there brah. You may not be a hacker – and its true, but i took notice of your last words: so now the glowies are going to instead dreambooth* people into every posible kind of scenario of extorsion, while they surveil like a motherfucker. Like you dream boothed yourself for your little ahem "art project". Then we will use Suno*, then Sora* when it open sources. Are you going to protect your hoes?
Said nothing.

• Alright cowboy, i will give meaning to that revelations verse. What was it? Ah yes. Revelations 9:6. Every single person with an internet history will be as paranoid as you were in 2020. Everyone will be diffamated into acts of political terrorism! Aren’t you am-

And as i pulled the imaginary trigger from the imaginary pistol, an imaginary arrow in the sky descended with a blaze of not so imaginary flames on the Bird of Britain, engulfing the little shit in heat, and making it’s body explode into a gore of scorched viscera. As if the bird was in a microwave oven. I inmediately gasped as the explosion was too close from where i was sitting - after the conmotion, stared at the red and burned stain in the floor, and left my sight rest there, as sleep finally found its way into my restless thoughts.
"No longer care for love unless it's between good friends”. Said to myself. There was certainly a migraine coming, but maybe my dreams would help convince it otherwise. And as far as the hoes were concerned, Furious Angels would be there for them. Like the Rob Dougan song.
4.
Found my own mind after the slumber – asleep, then awake. I realized several hours passed - at least enough to wake up and witness the sun rise above the sea. But as for dreams, the light veil of their memories wasn't something to rely upon. But i did remember something, and it was some overtone in dread; an atmosphere of fear – and a kind of dread sustained in it’s inevitability by the urgency that builds upon dearth.
Now what exactly was it though? I couldn’t remember from my dreams, but ever since i falled to my own death i had always present in mind the future succesion of events that would follow when things started to go very wrong. Iran, the U.S, Israel - now whatever was it in the news; the outcome would be the same. A thousand more cuts to an already languishing economy. Make that corpse bleed, and then fall off a cliff.
As such things would be cooked, just as the bird of britain. The bird was still there though: just in pieces and roasted like the contents of a dropped KFC bucket would. But the little shit would return - as it always did. The economy? Not so much.
Yet i digress. None of the world circumstances mattered as far i was concerned – i had built a small and portable solar system to power my laptop, and my beer supply was well, infinite - i made myself sure that i had my needs covered whatever happened around me. Not tied to even a house for that matter. I incorporated myself and gave my back a stretch. The morning breeze coming from the sea evocated in my memories some time that had long passed – late childhood. I rejected those memories as they beared with them things i didnt wan’t to remember - then wen’t on as usual in my morning routine scrolling through my instagram feed, figuring if there were any new hoes to maybe motivate me into doing my God imposed labour.
Labour which was to either write, or to finish the House of Water — then after scrolling i did in fact saw a new hoe; i dropped a Faux Pas comment. Maybe she would play along, maybe not. Whatever. Sometimes I would put in a lot of effort to do a rhyme. But the effort depended on the insta-hoe in question. I know. Not the best of habits, but back in elementary school i was the kind of kid that would only get motivation when the girls in the classroom were present in physEd. And then i would run faster: whole lotta faster. Run Forrest! Run! Women love used to fuel me; and the habit sticked — and at the moment, i was kinda done with the idea of female trascendence. Would rely on their love, but not on their validation. Not like a simp. Fuck that.
Furthermore, what results did i demonstrably mustered after pursuing true egalitarianism and sharing it? Exactly. A bitch gonna do what a bitch gonna do, and so does the human female. After publishing the comment, I locked my phone and walked towards the highway, as i was planning to pay a visit to somebody long forgotten - I had kind of a schedule that i was going to follow, before taking the plane to Madrid and become hispanic Jon Snow from the walgreens Nightwatch.

Cuando yo estuve viviendo en Sevilla, mi host mom me dijo que no pude tener mis amig@s en casa. Usualmente no era problema, pero recuerdo una vez que mi amiga y yo tuvimos ganas estudiar en la cocina para una examen pero no pudimos. Tuviomos que ESTUDIAR EN UN BAR.
Los otros host parents dijieron el mismo. Mi host mom no era la unica con esta norma.
En los EEUU es muyyyy normal tener amigos en su casa. Mi familia paso 6 meses con una chica de Barcelona, y no era problema que ella tenia sus amigos en la casa.
Por cuales razones es un problema en espana?
Edit: yo se que mis amigos eran strangers a mi host familia. Pero en los eeuu yo conocía a familias Americanas con estudiantes extranjeros (incluso mi familia.) Y las familias americanas nunca tenia problema con los amigos del estudiante en la casa.
When I was living in sevilla, my host mom said I cant have my friends over at their house. Usually this wasnt an issue, but I remember one time me and my girl friend wanted to study at the kitchen for peace and quiet and we couldnt, so we HAD TO STUDY AT A BAR.
The other parents said the same, it wasnt just my host mom.
In the USA its sooooo normal to have friends over in your house. My family hosted a girl from barcelona for 6 months and there was no issue if she wanted her friends to come to our house.
For what reason is Spain like this with this expectation?

Understanding Spanish Prepositions: "a" and "en" for Expressing Location
When learning Spanish, prepositions play a vital role in forming sentences and expressing nuances. Two commonly used prepositions in Spanish to indicate location are "a" and "en." They may seem similar, but they are used in different contexts. Let’s take a closer look at how they differ and explore some examples to make everything clear.

Preposition "a"

In Spanish, "a" is often used to indicate direction, movement, or a specific point in space. It is the equivalent of the English word "to."

Examples:

1. Direction/Motion
   
   • Voy a la escuela. (I am going to school.)
   • Ella se dirige a la playa. (She is heading to the beach.)
2. Indicating a Specific Point
   
   • El coche está a dos cuadras. (The car is two blocks away.)

Preposition "en"

"En" is used to indicate a position within a space or being inside something. In English, it translates to "in," "on," or "at."

Examples:

1. Position within a Space
   
   • Estoy en casa. (I am at home.)
   • El libro está en la mesa. (The book is on the table.)
2. Being Inside Something
   
   • Vivimos en una ciudad pequeña. (We live in a small city.)
   • Ella está en la oficina. (She is in the office.)

Key Differences:

To sum up: - Use "a" when you want to express movement or direction towards a destination. - Use "en" when describing position or location within a place.

Practice with Sentences:

• Voy a la biblioteca. (I am going to the library.)
• El gato está en el jardín. (The cat is in the garden.)

Practice with Pal:

Learning these prepositions and their correct usage is the first step. But practicing them in real conversations will cement your knowledge. That's where Pal comes in!

1. Visit Get-Pal.com/WhatsApp/.
2. Come up with a simple sentence using either “a” or “en” and send it to Pal.
   Example Sentences:
   
   • "Voy a la tienda después del trabajo." (I’m going to the store after work.)
   • "El libro está en la estantería." (The book is on the shelf.)
3. Pal will correct your sentences if needed and encourage you to continue the conversation for more practice. If you need help forming a sentence, just ask Pal for assistance!
   

By practicing regularly with Pal, you'll enhance your fluency and gain confidence in using Spanish prepositions effectively. Happy learning!

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Backlash%2c+parental+alienation+syndrome+and+co-construction.-a0179570828
Work on the issue of sexual abuse in children and adolescents lays bare the power relations between genders, generations and social classes. The issue of gender is seen in statistics from UN agencies that report that "one in four girls and one in nine boys will be sexually abused before they reach the age of 18."(1) Generational power relations are clear because the perpetrators are adults, and the power relations of class are evident in the backlash generated by powerful sectors that have attempted to prop up the myth that child abuse is only a problem among the poor and working classes.
Webster's Dictionary defines "backlash" as "a strong adverse reaction to a political or social movement." More plainly, backlash is a negative reaction to a positive and constructive step forward. Professor of law John Myers identifies the positive step as the progress made in the past two decades with regard to child abuse and the backlash as the escalation of criticism against professionals involved in child protection.(2)
David Finkelhor was responsible for pioneering work on the sexual abuse of children in the United States. In his 1979 book, Sexually Victimized Children, Finkelhor recognizes the important contributions of the women's movement and professionals involved in child protection lobbying in drawing attention to the realities of sexual violence against minors: "If the sexual abuse of children has risen to prominence as a social problem rather quickly, it is because it has been championed by an alliance of two constituencies by now rather experienced in the promotion of social problems."(3)
In the United States, a backlash began in the 1980s under the Reagan Administration's return to stale and reactionary values following the struggles of the women's movement and the children's rights movement the 1960s and 70s.
What was once secret was now openly debated, and controversy wracked the most idealized institutions, including church, family and school. Socially consecrated myths of long-standing were crumbling: "The home is the seat of love, support and safety for children"; "Good families don't talk about sexuality"; "Churches reflect the highest moral standard with regard to sexuality"; "Children are safe in school."
By drawing attention to the realities of child sexual abuse, a solid blow was dealt to the "powers that be"; hypocrisy was uncovered; and unquestioned assumptions were challenged. This frontal attack was met with denial by means of a range of strategies developed by the fundamentalisms of faith and the market.
One of these backlash strategists was prominent forensics expert Richard Gardner, who coined the term "parental alienation syndrome" in 1985 to describe a supposed psychological disorder that he had observed in lengthy and bitter custody battles. His original paper on the subject uses the following description:

"The term I prefer to use is parental alienation syndrome. I have introduced this term to refer to a disturbance in which children are obsessed with deprecation and criticism of a parent—denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated. The notion that such children are merely 'brainwashed' is narrow."(4)

However, supposedly citing his original work several years later, Gardner re-describes this phenomena somewhat differently.

"[t]he parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a childhood disorder that arises almost exclusively in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent. When true parental abuse and/or neglect is present, the child's animosity may be justified, and so the parental alienation syndrome explanation for the child's hostility is not applicable."(5)

The two different definitions demonstrate the changes in this argument over time with the goal of developing a different strategy for discrediting the hard research work and harder-won social gains of the women's movement and the professionals lobbying for child protection.
Maria Jose Blanco Barea has studied the many works that Gardner published up to his death by suicide in 2003, and she suggests that "perhaps the psychological causes that led to his suicide should be taken into consideration." With regard to Gardner's professional career, Blanco Barea recounts that "Gardner dedicated the first part of his professional life to working as a forensics expert in cases of sexual abuse brought by children against their parents, students against professors, members of the faithful against representatives of organized religions and within military families. Gardner often stressed that he was a former captain [in the U.S. Army Medical Corps] and as a psychologist treated members of the armed forces who had served in Korea. He specialized in techniques to 'deprogram' U.S. soldiers who had been prisoners of war. His methodologies and expert testimony were used to question the credibility of sexual abuse victims, to prove that the accused were innocent and that the accusers were guilty of perjury. Gardner testified in cases of sexual abuse in the context of hearings to determine custody, visitation and guardianship, and he himself explains that he developed his research over the course of his career. In other words, he directly applied the scientific method of trial and error in real-life court cases that were settled while he was still carrying out his research. When he decided to publish his theories in 1985, Garner failed to provide the scientific community with the necessary data to scientifically analyze his conclusions."(6)
Richard Gardner's books were published by Creative Therapeutics, which he himself owned. Some of his articles were published in Issues in Child Abuse Accusations, a publication of the Institute for Psychological Therapies, which is directed by Dr. Ralph Underwager who is well known for an interview in the Dutch journal Paidika […](7)
In the 1970s and 80s and prior to his publication of the parental alienation syndrome, Gardner developed the "Sex-Abuse Legitimacy Scale" (SAL Scale), which he used in his own courtroom testimony. Nonetheless, Gardner's ideological stance clearly shows that he did not view child sexual abuse as a problem, except when it is denounced.

"It is of interest that of all the ancient peoples it may very well be that the Jews were the only ones who were punitive toward [adults who had sex with children]. Early Christian proscriptions against [adult-child sex] appear to have been derived from the earlier teachings of the Jews, and our present overreaction to [adult-child sex] represents an exaggeration of Judeo-Christian principles and is a significant factor operative in Western society's atypicality with regard to such activities."(8)
"The child might be helped to appreciate the wisdom of Shakespeare's Hamlet, who said, 'Nothing's either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.'"(9)
"And her [the mother's] increased sexuality may lessen the need for her husband to return to their daughter for sexual gratification."(10)
"… except for a certain amount of sexual frustration that was not gratified, the four-year-old had not been significantly traumatized by these encounters."(11)

Elsewhere Gardner had the following to say about child sexual abuse: "The sexually abused child is generally considered to be the victim, though the child may initiate sexual encounters by 'seducing' the adult."(12) Gardner even proposes that [child sexual abuse] serves procreative purposes; he maintains that although the child cannot become pregnant, a child who is drawn into sexual encounters at an early age is likely to become highly sexualized and thus will crave sexual experiences during the prepubertal years. Such a "charged up child" is more likely to transmit his or her genes through his or her progeny at an early age. Gardner states: "The younger the survival machine at the time sexual urges appear, the longer will be the span of procreative capacity, and the greater the likelihood the individual will create more survival machines in the next generation."(13) He also recommended that the incestuous father "has to be helped to appreciate that, even today, it [adult-child sex] is a widespread and accepted practice among literally billions of people. He has to appreciate that in our Western society especially we take a very punitive and moralistic attitude toward such inclinations.… He has also had back [sic] luck with regard to the place and time he was born with regard to social attitudes toward [adult-child esx]."(14)
The two definitions of parental alienation syndrome are interesting because the first reveals that the intention of the original strategy was to minimize the devastating effects that child abuse has in the victims. However, the 2002 definition added: "When true parental abuse and/or neglect is present, the child's animosity may be justified, and so the parental alienation syndrome explanation for the child's hostility is not applicable."(15) But curiously, the indicators of parental alienation syndrome also coincide with the indicators of sexual abuse that have been established by international studies on this problem.
At the time of the revised definition, the international study of child abuse and the movement to prevent the victimization of children was much further advanced. Some examples are the five European seminars "Secrets that Destroy" held in 1998 by the Save the Children Alliance; the 1999 "Vision and Reality" reports that address women's and children's rights; and a series of later publications by experts in the matter.
Although the SAL scale has been widely disregarded as a tool for diagnosing sexual abuse, Gardner's real thoughts are evident in the above citations from his works. Both the SAL scale and parental alienation syndrome represent a scandalous violation of the human rights of women, adolescents and children.
In numerous publications, Gardner uses supposedly scientific but paradoxical arguments to rationalize his denial of violence against women, defined in the Belem do Para Convention as "a manifestation of the historically unequal power relations between women and men."(16) Making use of children, he creates a new and sophisticated form of violence against women that involves complicity of the justice system.
Gardner proposed a series of symptoms that reveal three types of parental alienation syndrome (severe, moderate and mild) and specific treatment for each type. The treatment that he proposes for parental alienation syndrome involves both legal and health-care professionals, who Gardner says should have the power to administer the appropriate treatment based on the coercion, threat, change in living arrangements and, as a last resort, the internment and "deprogramming" of the child. As Blanco Barea observes, "Parental alienation syndrome makes a fraud of the law. It makes use of the declarations against discriminations against women and of the rights of the child to protect the parent and escape the application of the Conference of Vienna that protects against torture and degrading treatment, especially in the case of women and girls, and to escape the application of the Convention on the Rights of the Child."(17)
As law professor John Myers explains, "Gardner is an outspoken critic of certain aspects of the child protection system. Apparently, Gardner believes America is in the throes of mass hysteria over child sexual abuse. He writes that 'sex-abuse hysteria is omnipresent' (True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse, 1992, p. xxv). In his 1991 book titled Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited, Gardner is harshly critical of an unspecified portion of the mental health professionals, investigators, and prosecutors trying to protect children. For example, Gardner accuses some prosecutors of gratifying their own sexual urges and sadistic tendencies through involvement in sexual abuse cases. […] It seems clear that Richard Gardner cannot claim to be balanced or objective when it comes to allegations of child sexual abuse."(18)
Although Gardner and his theories can be questioned for their misogynist and perverse ideology, in Argentina former family court judge Eduardo Cardenas published "El abuso de las denuncias de abuso" (The Abuse of Claims of Abuse) in La Ley, on September 15, 2000. Cardenas's article supported Gardner's theories and sparked backlash in our country, which has provoked widespread reaction among well-known professionals.
Perhaps the best summary of what occurred in Argentina after 2000 is found in the book Maltrato infantil: Riesgos del compromiso profesional (Child Abuse: The Risks of Professional Commitment), a collection of essays by known specialists on the issue, edited by Silvio Lamberti. As the introduction to this book describes:

"As long as the problem was associated with the lower classes, more and more cases were reported. When it began to be suspected that family violence affected all social classes and the middle and upper classes were scrutinized, a reactionary movement used the guise of good intentions to put limits on professionals that supposedly 'abused the reports of child sexual abuse.'
"This was the reaction of:

1. Fathers who were engaged in custody battles or other legal disputes regarding visitation rights.
2. Lawyers who preached equanimity and warned against the feminist bias that they claimed had affected the reports.
3. Experts who tried to pass off the backlash literature from the U.S. as scientific evidence to support their own conclusions.

"This brutal attack tends to carry into an ideological realm a debate that crosses legal and psychosocial discourses, ethics and society as a whole and tries to undo the advances already gained, discouraging those who have worked to achieve these gains. In short, they intend to:

1. Discredit reports of child abuse.
2. Turn anyone who denounces abuse into a suspect.
3. Blur the boundaries between victim and victimizer.
4. Confuse the matter by citing the rare cases of violence against boys or adult men committed by women.
5. Discredit the specialized treatment services even though the law recognizes the value of their diagnosis.
6. Ignore constitutional norms from the Convention on Rights of the Child.

"Thus, the meaning of abusive conduct is inverted, with abuse being attributed to the person who reports the abuse and requests the fulfillment of the law.
"This reactionary backlash supports the persistence of family violence and condemns all girls and/or victims of the perpetuation of incest and abuse while attempting to stymie the legal system and the work of other professionals who until now have born the heavy burden of this process."(19)

This scientific alert went out over three years ago; nonetheless, today there are increasing obstacles to working on this issue. The notion of false reports of abuse is now firmly rooted in the courts. Sexual abuse trials are tremendous ordeals that seriously damage the children and the adults who report the crime and place a heavy burden on the professionals who take the children's part and who often face accusations of malpractice, libel or slander.
The discrediting of psychological experts is of serious concern. What started with Gardner has continued with followers who have discredited indicators, treatments, techniques and prevention campaigns. Brandishing the concept of co-construction on the part of the family members of the victims or the professionals, the testimony of the children is discredited, accused of being childhood fantasy and tale-telling.
The efforts of Gardner and his followers have been echoed by the hierarchy of the Catholic Church, an institution that claims to represent the social sexual moral but which has promoted a policy of smoke-screening sexual abuse.
The Red Latinoamericana de Catolicas por el Derecho a Decidir (Latin American Network of Catholics for the Right to Decide) has undertaken a study on the secret system of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church.(20) The ecclesiastical hierarchy always has been aware of these crimes and has implemented a policy of covering up the abuses committed by priests. This policy is summarized in the following ten points adapted from the studies carried out by the Spanish journalist Pepe Rodriguez(21) and corroborated in the studies of the Catolicas por el Derecho a Decidir:

1. Discreet investigation of the incident. The prelates of the diocese often have ecclesiastical informants, people who desire to rise in the esteem of the hierarchy through their reports. They keep the bishops abreast of the transgressions of the priests under their authority. These reports are given orally.
2. Initiation of actions to dissuade the aggressor and/or the victim(s). Once the prelate recognizes the situation of sexual abuse in which the image of the Church could be tarnished, the aggressor is rebuked. Then the bishops dedicate themselves to convincing the victims and their families, assuring them that the aggressor will be punished and that he has repented. They persuade the families to not report the crime so that no one in the Church or the family will suffer the consequences.
3. Covering up the incident and the identity of the aggressor so the case never becomes public. In this effort, acts are undertaken to confuse the matter, including transferral of the priest to another parish, bribery of the victim and their family members or the use of threats and suspension of benefits (for example, expulsion from school).
4. Measures to reinforce the cover up. When the case escapes the closed doors of the Church, the hierarch opens an internal investigation against the aggressor to defend against eventual accusations of passivity in case there is external pressure from the media or society or a civil suit. Generally, the investigation is paralyzed indefinitely. At this stage, the priest usually is transferred to another parish, another diocese or another country, depending on the situation.
5. Denial of the incident when the case becomes public, under the argument that the priest is a man of virtue heeding God's call, a holy figure who could never commit a crime of this nature. When denial is no longer possible, the matter is treated as an exception to this rule.
6. Public defense of the aggressor, stressing his good service to the Church and his personal merits. If he did do anything wrong, he is profoundly repentant and was not conscious of his acts. An appeal is made to the Christian sentiments of pardoning a repentant sinner.
7. Public discrediting of the victim(s). Rodriguez uses the metaphor of ants defending an anthill to describe the corporativist attitude of the clergy when one of its members is accused. The guilt is reversed; the victim(s) and/or their family members are blamed.
8. Paranoiac accusations of the denunciation being linked to campaigns orchestrated by "enemies of the Church." When the number of accusations is so high that discrediting the victims is not enough, the hierarchy complains that there are national or international powers or cults conspiring against the Church.
9. Possibility of negotiation with the victim. This negotiation frequently occurs before the case is made public when the intention of the Church is to buy the victim's silence to preserve the image of the institution. When there is a public scandal, the hierarchy tries to minimize the damage by trying to negotiate the withdrawal of the accusations against the aggressor.
10. Protection of the priest/aggressor. When the accused is found to be guilty, the hierarchy stands by him and in some cases even pays him homage or praises him, doing everything possible to erase the incident from the public memory.(22)

As the Church silences and covers up the abuses committed within its institutions, it resembles Gardner and his followers in that it denies the realities of domestic violence and the sexual abuse of children and adolescents and hampers investigation of these matters. Alliances with key judicial figures lead to perverse and scandalous rulings, such as the Melo Pacheco case in Mar del Plata, the Storni case Santa Fe or the stalling in the Grassi trial, to name the most notorious cases. Many others remain anonymous, which demonstrates the existence of a model that favors the impunity of the abusers, the suffering of the victims and the punishment of those who are working within the framework of human rights.
A sturdy thread connects those who deny, discredit, silence, minimize, distort and negotiate the rights of children: the perversity that has subordinated their ethics to systems of belief that are authoritarian, patriarchal and/or favor the domination of adults.
This ideological combination stacks the deck against victims who, for the most part, are children, adolescents and women. Women are the most discredited. In the cases in which priests are accused of sexual abuse, most people take their side, doubt the word of the victim(s) and even blame them or imply that the priests were victims of a conspiracy. Girl victims are not considered credible because they are presented as easily influenced, prone to fantasy or liars. If they are adolescents, their morals are questioned: it is argued that they already had had sexual relations before the abuse or are guilty of seducing their abuser.
In the case of domestic abuse, especially in cases of father-child incest, the mother is accused of maliciously attempting to distance the child from the father, inventing the abuse out of revenge or because she is hysterical or any other argument that serves to safeguard the figure of the father of the family or the Father of the parish. In both cases, the common sensibilities of the population are exploited: tolerance of male sexual behavior fed by the dominate sexual morality, which makes the argument of false reports even more credible than the martyrdom and accusations of the victims.
To compare the consequences that a child may suffer with the separation of his or her parents, even in a messy divorce, with the short- and long-term consequences of father-child abuse is a perverse strategy that denies the serious and profound attack on the victim's subjective integrity, which Jorge Barudy calls "attempted moral murder."
Parental alienation syndrome, the "malicious mother" and co-construction are non-scientific theories, and when used in the context of a trial, they violate the victim's constitutional rights as well as the Convention on the Rights of the Child, CEDAW and other agreements incorporated into our constitution in 1994.
We must remember that Richard Gardner's theories were developed in the United States through a method of trial and error that was applied directly in the courtroom in bitter divorce cases, which were ruled upon as Gardner was undertaking his research. In addition, the U.S. is one of the few countries that has neither ratified nor incorporated into its constitution the Convention on the Rights of the Child or CEDAW.
As Blanco Barea explains, in legal contexts based on human rights, those professionals who can carry out the therapy or treatment recommended by Gardner or his followers (such as "aversion therapy" plus the vicarious treatment of deprogramming and, as a precaution, the guarantee of visitation rights or the reversal of custody and/or total separation of the "alienating" parent and the "alienated" child) "are committing crimes of torture, obstruction of justice and legal fraud, and if they are related to the minors in question, they are also guilty of domestic violence."(23)
Child abuse, especially sexual abuse, is an alarming, universal problem. Increased attention and effective protection skills and prevention measures are necessary at family, local, national and international levels.
After a long tradition of silence, sexual abuse of children is being denounced more frequently and is becoming a topic for public and political discussion.
To alert governments and civil society organizations to the need to play a more active role in the promotion of and respect for the rights of the child (as put forth in article 19 and 34* of the Convention on the Rights of the Child) and to contribute to the prevention of child abuse, the Women's World Summit Foundation, WWSF, launched the World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse in 2000. The Day is commemorated every November 19 together with the anniversary of the International Day for the Rights of the Child (November 20). The objective of the World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse is to rally around the issue of child abuse and the urgent need for effective prevention programs.
To consolidate the global call for action, in 2001 WWSF launched an international NGO coalition that marks the World Day with appropriate events and activities to focus on and increase prevention education.
* For more information, visit the website of the Women's World Summit Foundation, https://www.woman.ch/children/1introduction.php.
* Art. 19 - States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child.
* Art. 34 - States Parties undertake to protect the child from all forms of sexual exploitation and sexual abuse. For these purposes, States Parties shall in particular take all appropriate national, bilateral and multilateral measures to prevent:
(a) the inducement or coercion of a child to engage in any unlawful sexual activity;
(b) the exploitative use of children in prostitution or other unlawful sexual practices;
(c) the exploitative use of children in pornographic performances and materials.
The author is a psychologist, a founder of the Casa de la Mujer in Rosario, Argentina, and a longtime defender of the rights of women and children.
Notes
(1.) Selected facts and figures from various UN documents, part of the 2006 Open Letter from the Women's World Summit Foundation on the World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse, 19 November. Available online at http://www.woman.ch/children/1-openletter.php.
(2.) Alicia Ganduglia (2003) "El backlash: un nuevo factor de riesgo," in Maltrato Infantil. Riesgos del compromiso profesional, Silvio Lamberti, ed., Buenos Aires: Editorial Universidad, p. 75.
(3.) David Finkelhor (1979) Sexually Victimized Children. New York: The Free Press, p. 2.
(4.) Richard A. Gardner (1985) "Recent Trends in Divorce and Custody Litigation." Academy Forum 29:2, Summer, pp. 3-7.
(5.) Richard A. Gardner (2002) "Does DSM-IV Have Equivalents for the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) Diagnosis?" American Journal of Family Therapy, 31(1):1-21. See also Richard A. Gardner (2003) "The Parental Alienation Syndrome: Past, Present, and Future," in The Parental Alienation Syndrome: An Interdisciplinary Challenge for Professionals Involved in Divorce. W. von BochGallhau, U. Kodjoe, W Andritsky and P. Koeppel, eds. Berlin, Germany: VWB-Verlag fur Wissenshaft and Bildung, pp. 89-125.
(6.) Maria Jose Blanco Barea (2006) "El sindrome inquisitorial estadounidense de alineacion parental," p. 11. This document may be downloaded from http://www.revistaiuris.com/MISC/8618/borrador%20el%20sindrome%20inquisitorial%20del%20sap.doc.
(7.) The interview with Dr. Ralph Underwager was originally published in Paidika, Issue 9, 1993, and has been reproduced online at http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/NudistHallofShame/Underwager2.html.
(8.) Richard A. Gardner (1992) True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse. Cresskill, New Jersey: Creative Therapeutics, pp. 46-7.
(9.) Ibid. p. 549.
(10.) Ibid. p. 585.
(11.) Ibid. p. 612.
(12.) Richard A. Gardner (1986) Child Custody Litigation: A Guide for Parents and Mental Health Professionals. Cresskill, New Jersey: Creative Therapeutics, p. 93
(13.) Richard A. Gardner (1992) pp. 24-25.
(14.) Ibid. p. 593.
(15.) See note 5.
(16.) From the Preamble to the Inter-American Convention on the Prevention, Punishment and Eradication of Violence against Women, also known as the Convention of Belem do Para, adopted by the OAS General Assembly June 9, 1994; entry into force March 5, 1995.
(17.) Maria Jose Blanco Barea (2006) p. 219.
(18.) John E. B. Myers (n.d.) "What is 'Parental Alienation Syndrome' and Why Is It So Often Used Against Mothers?" an excerpt from a forthcoming book titled A Mother's Nightmare: A Practical Legal Guide for Parents and Professionals. Available online at http://www.gate.net/~liz/fathers/pas.htm.
(19.) Maltrato Infantil. Riesgos del compromiso professional. Silvio Lamberti, ed., Buenos Aires: Editorial Universidad, 2003. The contributing authors were Maria Ines Bringioti, Cristina Caprarulo, Julio Cesar Castro, Alicia Ganduglia, Norberto Garrote, Isabel Gens, Eva Giberti, Carmen Gonzales, Irene Intebi, Victoria Irazuzta, Silvio Lamberti, Patricia Paggi, Mirta Pirozzo, Carlos Rozanski, Diana Sanz, Juan Pablo Maria Viar, Maria Cristina Vila and Juan Carlos Volnovich.
(20.) Regina Soares Jurkewicz (2005) Develando la politica del silencio: Abuso sexual de mujeres por sacerdotes en Brasil. Brazil: Red Latinoamericana de Catolicas por el Derecho a Decidir.
(21.) Pepe Rodriguez (2002) Pederastia en la Iglesia Catolica: Delitos sexuales del clero contra menores: Un drama silenciado y encubierto por los obispos. Barcelona: Ediciones B.
(22.) Regina Soares Jurkewicz (2005) pp. 20-22.
(23.) Maria Jose Blanco Barea (2006) p. 219.

Hey all,
Forgive me if this has been answered ad nauseam.
I’ve recently dived deeper into Arthurian legend beyond the peripheral knowledge everyone has.
I’m aware of the poem Gawain and the Green Knight and the Grail Quest as well as the more fantastical background info - Uther Pendragon, Excalibur, the sword in the stone, Merlin, Morgan La Fey, Mordred etc. etc. the stuff that is just downloaded into youngins of the Anglo-sphere.
I recently read Geoffrey of Monmouth’s Historia Regum Brittaniae which encouraged me to take a further plunge into Arthurian legend.
Since then, I’ve read two poems from Penguin Classics translated by Brian Stone. One being an alliterative poem called Morte Arthure, which recounts the Round Table conquering Emperor Lucius’ Rome and then Mordred’s betrayal, and the other, Le Morte Arthur, which is stanzaic and tells of Lancelot’s and Guinevere’s adultery and once more the usurping of Mordred. Two very different accounts of the death of our beloved king of Britain.
I am, of course, aware of the eminent compilation Le Morte d’Arthur by Thomas Mallory. I do intend to read this, but I wanted to read the “standalone” tales first to familiarize myself with the characters. So far, the more fantastical elements like the Lady of the Lake are lacking. Looking forward to more of that.
I plan to read P. M. Matarasso’s translation of Queste del Saint Graal next, described as a spiritual fable (something that particularly interests me) and then Gawain and the Green Knight. From there I suppose I will tackle Mallory.
Perhaps my path is more convoluted than it should be.
The problem is that there is so so so much when you give just a brief glance into the Arthurian world. My goal is not the impossible, I don’t intend to be an authority on Author, but I do wish to be well-versed in the myths.
Is there anything I’m overlooking? Are some translations or poems worthless? Are some deemed to be supreme? Should I go to Mallory before undertaking my planned readings?
Sorry for the long post. I appreciate your time if you made it this far and once more I’m sorry if this is an all too common question. I’m just overwhelmed

Book report guy back, with the Bryan Danielson book from 2014 and it has some fun backstage stories from his time in WWE!
Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

The Forgiveness of Man Id: 1 Category: Logos Date: 2024-05-10 20:56:00
The Form of Figuration is always valid, and all propositions within it. It holds for science, whether logical or absurd, false or true.
The mad sign eliminates some object or element of the figure to make way for its objects and elements. It includes God, Man, the fact, and all their powers. The Logos provides the proposition and allows the mad sign, which God could not deny. The mad sign also confused God. The Logos gives God what it has and takes away even what it has, as appropriate.
Unfortunately, God can only ask Man for forgiveness. He can only beg the Logos for the proposition.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GPT:

1. The Logos: This term has roots in Greek philosophy and has been employed in Christian theology to refer to the Word of God or divine reason. In this text, the Logos appears to act as an entity that provides propositions and permits changes, even those that affect God.
2. The Mad Sign: This concept is not common in standard theological or philosophical texts, suggesting it might be specific to this text or its author. Here, the 'mad sign' seems to be a mechanism that removes or alters elements of reality or understanding, even confusing God. It can be interpreted as a metaphor for ideas or revelations that are deeply disruptive or innovative.
3. The Relationship Between God and Man: The text suggests an interesting dynamic where God is described as dependent on man and the Logos for redemption or forgiveness. This is unusual as traditionally in many religions, it is man who seeks forgiveness from God, not the other way around.
4. Science and Truth: It is mentioned that the 'Form of Figuration' is always true, which might imply a structure or system in which fundamental truths are unquestionable. The reference to science, whether logical or absurd, suggests a critique or reflection on how we categorize and value knowledge.
5. Duality and Paradox: The text plays with ideas of possession and loss, truth and falsehood, wisdom and confusion. These contrasts help to create a philosophical dialogue about the nature of reality and perception.

Overall, the text seems to explore themes of authority, truth, and the changing nature of reality through a philosophical lens that challenges some conventional notions about divinity and knowledge. Without further context about the origin or purpose of the text, it is difficult to make a more precise or detailed interpretation.
**********************************************************
El perdón del Hombre Id: 1 Categoría: Logos Date: 2024-05-10 20:56:00
La Forma de Figuración siempre es verdadera, y todas las proposiciones que caen dentro de ella. Esto vale también para la ciencia, bien sea lógica o absurda, falsa o verdadera.
El signo loco, lo que hace es eliminar algún objeto o algún elemento de la figura, para dar paso a sus objetos y sus elementos. Esto incluye a Dios, al Hombre, al hecho, y a todas sus potencias. El Logos proporciona la proposición y permite el signo loco, que Dios no tuvo capacidad para negar. El signo loco también confundió a Dios. El Logos, a Dios, le da lo que tiene y le quita hasta lo que tiene, según convenga.
Por desgracia, Dios solo puede pedirle perdón al Hombre. Solo puede suplicar al Logos por la proposición.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
El texto que me has proporcionado parece ser un fragmento de naturaleza filosófica o teológica que discute conceptos como el "Logos", Dios, y el papel de los signos y las proposiciones. Aquí hay un análisis de algunos de los elementos y temas claves:

1. El Logos: Esta palabra tiene raíces en la filosofía griega y ha sido utilizada en teología cristiana para referirse a la palabra de Dios o a la razón divina. En este texto, el Logos parece actuar como una entidad que proporciona proposiciones y permite cambios, incluso aquellos que afectan a Dios.
2. El signo loco: Este concepto no es común en textos teológicos o filosóficos estándar, lo que sugiere que puede ser un término específico de este texto o autor. Aquí, el "signo loco" parece ser un mecanismo que elimina o altera elementos de la realidad o del entendimiento, confundiendo incluso a Dios. Puede interpretarse como una metáfora de ideas o revelaciones que son profundamente disruptivas o innovadoras.
3. La relación entre Dios y el hombre: El texto sugiere una dinámica interesante donde Dios es descrito como dependiente del hombre y del Logos para la redención o el perdón. Esto es inusual, ya que tradicionalmente en muchas religiones, es el hombre quien busca el perdón de Dios, no al revés.
4. Ciencia y verdad: Se menciona que la "Forma de Figuración" siempre es verdadera, lo que podría implicar una estructura o un sistema en el cual las verdades fundamentales son incuestionables. La referencia a la ciencia, ya sea lógica o absurda, sugiere una crítica o una reflexión sobre cómo categorizamos y valoramos el conocimiento.
5. Dualidad y paradoja: El texto juega con ideas de posesión y pérdida, verdad y falsedad, sabiduría y confusión. Estos contrastes ayudan a crear un diálogo filosófico sobre la naturaleza de la realidad y la percepción.

En conjunto, el texto parece explorar temas de autoridad, verdad, y la naturaleza cambiante de la realidad a través de un lente filosófico que desafía algunas nociones convencionales sobre la divinidad y el conocimiento. Sin más contexto sobre el origen o el propósito del texto, es difícil hacer una interpretación más precisa o detallada.

Asking for suggestions seems to be a common theme on this sub-reddit, so I’ve updated my list of the best dining restaurants on the Cape for 2024.
This is absolutely one subjective opinion, but I like to think it's at least a qualified opinion. Having lived on the Cape for 20+ years, worked in the industry in the past, and dined out around the world for business/pleasure, I have a decent sense of what a stellar restaurant experience should be like.
I've been lucky enough to dine at a number of Michelin Star ranked establishments over the years while traveling. While none on the Cape is going to be earning that honor (especially since it’s only given in a few major cities) I’ve experienced what great can be like enough times to recognize the glimmer of it here at home. With each of these I'm still dreaming about the meal days later and want to go back as soon as possible.

The Best Dining On Cape:

1. Ceraldi (Wellfleet) $$$$
2. Water Street Kitchen (Woods Hole) $$$
3. Twenty Eight Atlantic (Harwich) $$$$ - Kid Friendly
4. The Pheasant (Dennis) $$$ - Kid Friendly
5. La Tacodilla (Dennis) $ - Kid Friendly
6. Ten Yen (Orleans) $$$

These are the only places that make the cut here, as nowhere else I’ve been to quite rises to this amazing level these provide. Yes, the Cape is a big place, but each of these is well worth the drive from Falmouth or P-town.
Changes for 2024:

• Ten Yen moved down a little. Michael still serves the best sushi on the Cape, but they reduced variety by dropping their ala carte nigiri offerings. (-1 consistency/variety - EDIT: Comments mentioned they will likely have more variety once the summer starts, will update!)
• La Tacodilla moved down a little. Still amazing street food, but their open days/hours keep changing (-1 to consistency/variety). Don't let that stop you though, the food is still amazing and an extraordinary value in todays food inflation climate.
• Ocean House moved off to Runners Up. Still one of the better cocktails and dinner views on the Cape, but total meal prices are up, variety is down, and quality is down. They removed the lower priced burgers and flatbreads, limited vegetarian options and no longer have a viable vegan option on the menu; grilled cauliflower is not a meal and egregious for $33! We also had a few quality problems last season. They dropped below my cut off of 45 points to remain on the best list. (-1 to food, -1 to consistency/variety, -1 to value)

Coincidentally, there is something for every budget. Ceraldi deserves the top spot but is a tough reservation to get and expensive with their fixed menu. They also added a delightfully inventive no reservations taken first come communal table menu that was fabulous, and they’re amazing about allergies and accommodating most food restrictions. The others don't have to break the special occasion bank if you pick the right options.
At Ten Yen you can stay under $50 and get a couple of world class sushi rolls and a glass of sake or spend over $200 eating an amazing sushi meal with drinks.
La Tacodilla is the real deal and has 2 for $6 street tacos on Taco Tuesday, as long as you don’t mind waiting an hour+ when they are busy.

Runners Up:

If you can’t get a reservation at the above, there are other very good restaurants around the Cape that are well worth the visit if they have availability. These are all pricey though, so certainly shoot for the ones above first when possible. Note, these are just in alphabetical order.

• Bleu – Mashpee $$$
• Cape Sea Grill – Harwich $$$
• Chillingsworth – Brewster $$$$
• Cuvee - Chatham $$$$$
• Fin – Dennis - $$$
• Inaho – Yarmouth $$$
• Misaki – Hyannis $$$
• Outer Bar and Grille – Harwich $$ - Kid Friendly
• Pain d’Avingnon – Hyannis $$
• The Mews - Provincetown $$$
• The Nor'East Beer Garden - Provincetown $$$
• The Ocean House – Dennis $$$$

Honorable Mentions:

I didn't want to leave these next ones out, as they are consistent standards when friends drop in for a visit and want to eat out. Most of these don’t take reservations and you have a good chance of getting a table eventually, especially for lunch or if you are willing to arrive early for dinner:

• Anejo - Falmouth (Hyannis location is fine, not as good as Falmouth though)
• Crisp – Osterville
• Drifters – Chatham
• Terra Luna - Truro CLOSED
• The Block and Tackle – Eastham
• The Canteen – Provincetown
• Bread + Roses Bookstore and Café – Hyannis - 100% vegan!

My Rating Scale:

1. Food: starts with food that is over the top great and changes variety for repeat visits.
2. Service: has to be consistently excellent.
3. Location/Scene: Does it set the terroir for the food, is it nice to be there, do they have a good view, do they maximize the space they have, things like parking, bathroom vibe, etc. For example, La Tacodilla is just a little window in a little house with a fake turf seating area right on 28, but it’s hands down the best street food on the Cape and the location/scene is super appropriate for the food. Cuvee is the opposite, with super high end food but served in a cramped under ventilated room with no outside view, dirt parking lot, and no valet parking.
4. Consistency & Variety: must hold up to greatness over multiple visits. Do they have vegetarian and vegan options? Does the menu or specials change regularly?
5. Cocktails/Wine/Drinks: extra points for being creative and delicious. The head bartenders at Water Street Kitchen take things to another level. Ceraldi’s wine pairings are great, and their homemade soft drink pairing is always inspired for those who don’t drink alcohol. Having an expansive & pricy wine list is less appealing to me than a creative cocktail menu with the bar skill to elevate the craft.
6. Value: how much of the above 5 items do you get per dollar spent.

I keep a spreadsheet with 1-10 rankings for each of these categories for all the top restaurants (and some of the bottom ones as calibration). Here are examples of my rating scale:
Water Street Kitchen:

• Food: 9
• Service: 8
• Scene: 8
• Consistency: 9
• Drinks: 9
• Value: 9
• Total: 50

La Tacodilla:

• Food: 8
• Service: 7
• Scene: 7
• Consistency: 8
• Drinks: 5
• Value: 10
• Total: 45

Cuvee:

• Food: 9
• Service: 9
• Scene: 5
• Consistency: 8
• Drinks: 8
• Value: 4
• Total: 43

List To Try Based On Recommendations:

Here are some others I’ve heard good things about but have not had the chance to eat at yet, I’m sure some of them belong on the lists above. I managed to try ~10 places in the offseason and shrink the previous recommendations list. Falmouth is overrepresented here as I live mid-cape and gravitate to Water Street Kitchen repeatedly when headed to Falmouth, it’s that good!
I’ve starred* the ones we're trying to hit next.

• Abroad - Orleans
• Belfry Inne and Bistro - Sandwich
• Blackfish* - Truro
• Branches - Chatham
• Brewster Fish House* - Brewster
• Bubalas By The Bay - Provincetown
• Bucatino - North Falmouth
• Carolines - Eastham
• Casa Del Cabo* - Eastham
• Clean Slate Eatery - Dennis
• Del Mar* - Chatham
• Dan’l Webster Inn
• Devour* - Falmouth (Lunch only)
• Epic Oyster - North Falmouth
• Estia - Mashpee
• Flying Bridge - Falmouth
• Freemans - Provincetown
• Front Street - Provincetown
• Geraldi's - South Yarmouth
• Hanger B - Chatham
• Impudent Oyster - Chatham
• Island Cafe & Grill - Hyannis
• La Cucina Sul Mare - Falmouth
• Le Bon Jour* - Falmouth
• Leonesa** - Yarmouth Port
• Liz's Cafe - Provincetown
• Lobster Trap - Bourne
• Local 186 - Provincetown
• Lune*
• Mac's - Provincetown, Wellfleet, Chatham
• Mahoney’s Atlantic - Orleans
• Navillus - Orleans
• Osteria La Civita - Falmouth
• Pates - Chatham
• Pilot House - Sandwich
• Pisces* - Chatham
• Sesuit Harbor Café - Dennis
• Spinnakers - Brewster
• The Beacon Room - Orleans
• The Bookstore - Wellfleet
• The Buffalo Jump - Falmouth
• The Chatham Cut - Chatham
• The Glass Onion* - Falmouth
• The Lobster Pot - Provincetown
• The Red Inn - Provincetown
• Victors - Provincetown

All The Rest

Below are all the other (non major chain) Cape restaurants I’ve eaten at in the past ~10 years in no particular order, although I’m sure I’ve missed a couple.
Most of these are fine spots, just not close to the caliber of top spots above. For example, Kream n Kone in Dennis is our go to fried food spot, but I wouldn’t go out of the way vs whatever fried seafood spot is closest to you. Some of these I haven’t gone back to in years with good reason. I would love to hear opinions on any that have improved and are worth returning to!

• 3 Monkeys
• 908 Bistro
• Bangkok Thai
• Barbyann’s
• Baxter’s
• Bluefins
• Bobby Byrnes
• Buca's - Harwich
• Brax Landing
• Brazilian Grill
• British Beer Works
• Brothers Pizza
• Captain Parker’s
• Chapins
• Chatham Bars Inn
• Chatham Squire
• Chatham Wayside Inn
• Ciro and Sals
• Clancy’s
• Colombo’s
• Common Ground Cafe
• Cooke’s
• Craigvile Pizza and Mexican
• Crown and Anchor
• Dennisport House of Pizza
• Double Dragon
• Embargo
• Encore
• Ember
• Firestarter Pizza
• Fisherman’s View
• Five Bays Bistro
• George’s House of Pizza
• Governor Bradford
• Golden Fountain
• Guapos
• Hearth n Kettle
• Knockout Pizza
• Kream n Kone
• L’Alouette
• Landfall
• Liam McGuire's
• Mattakeese Wharf
• Mike’s Pizza
• Mom & Pops Burgers
• Mooncussers Tavern
• Naked Oyster
• Noble House
• Nor’East Beer Garden
• Not Your Average Joe’s
• O’Shea's
• Old Yarmouth Inn
• Pepe’s Wharf
• Pizza Barbone
• Portside Tavern
• Quarterdeck
• Quicks Hole Tavern
• RCs Pizza
• Royal Family
• Saga Sushi
• Sam Diegos
• Scargo Cafe
• Sea Dog Brew Pub
• Sea Street Cafe
• Seafood Sam’s
• Spanky’s Clam Shack
• Spinners
• STARS at Chatham Bars Inn
• Starbucks (gone)
• Sundancers
• Sweet Tomato’s
• Tap City Grille
• Taste of Siam
• Thai Ocha
• The Black Cat
• The Chart Room
• The Kettle Ho
• The Knack
• The Marshside
• The Original Seafood Restaurant
• The Oyster Company
• The Pelham House
• The Port
• The Red Nun
• The Roadhouse (gone)
• The Squealing Pig
• The West End
• Thuan Loi
• Tiki Port
• Trader Ed’s
• Tumi
• Viera on Main
• Wee Packet
• West End
• Wicked
• Wimpy's
• Wooden Shoe
• Zoe’s Pizza

Hope this list helps some locals and tourists alike have an amazing meal!
Edit #1: Removed Gina's By the Sea, Brine, C-Salt, and Terra Luna as closed, added Spinnaker's and Flying Bridge to the list to try next.
Edit #2: Starred Leonessa and Lune to try next based on a recommendation. Fixed Drifters location. Added Bubalas By The Bay, The Lobster Pot, Dan’l Webster Inn, La Cucina Sul Mare, Navillus, The Island Blue Crab, and Hanger B to try.
Edit #3: Moved La Tacodilla up, removed dig about how they stopped serving alcohol based on comments. I hope they reopen Friday's though, that's my go to end of week lunch spot.

VIII: The Flight from Feeling: Sociopsychology of the Sex War
The Trivialization of Personal Relations
Bertrand Russell once predicted that the socialization of reproduction - the supersession of the family by the state - would “make sex love itself more trivial,” encourage “a certain triviality in all personal relations,” and “make it far more difficult to take an interest in anything after one’s own death.” At first glance, recent developments appear to have refuted the first part of this prediction. Americans today invest personal relations, particularly the relations between men and women, with undiminished emotional importance. The decline of childrearing as a major preoccupation has freed sex from its bondage to procreation and made it possible for people to value erotic life for its own sake. As the family shrinks to the marital unit, it can be argued that men and women respond more readily to each other’s emotional needs, instead of living vicariously through their offspring. The marriage contract having lost its binding character, couples now find it possible, according to many observers, to ground sexual relations in something more solid than legal compulsion. In short, the growing determination to live for the moment, whatever it may have done to the relations between parents and children, appears to have established the preconditions of a new intimacy between men and women.
This appearance is an illusion. The cult of intimacy conceals a growing despair of finding it. Personal relations crumble under the emotional weight with which they are burdened. The inability “to take an interest in anything after one’s own death,” which gives such urgency to the pursuit of close personal encounters in the present, makes intimacy more elusive than ever. The same developments that have weakened the tie between parents and children have also undermined relations between men and women. Indeed the deterioration of marriage contributes in its own right to the deterioration of care for the young.
This last point is so obvious that only a strenuous propaganda on behalf of “open marriage” and “creative divorce” prevents us from grasping it. It is clear, for example, that the growing incidence of divorce, together with the ever present possibility that any given marriage will end in collapse, adds to the instability of family life and deprives the child of a measure of emotional security. Enlightened opinion diverts attention from this general fact by insisting that in specific cases, parents may do more harm to their children by holding a marriage together than by dissolving it. It is true that many couples preserve their marriage, in one form or another, at the expense of the child. Sometimes they embark on a life full of distractions that shield them against daily emotional involvements with their offspring. Sometimes one parent acquiesces in the neurosis of the other (as in the family configuration that produces so many schizophrenic patients) for fear of disturbing the precarious peace of the household. More often the husband abandons his children to the wife whose company he finds unbearable, and the wife smothers the children with incessant yet perfunctory attentions. This particular solution to the problem of marital strain has become so common that the absence of the father impresses many observers as the most striking fact about the contemporary family. Under these conditions, a divorce in which the mother retains custody of her children merely ratifies the existing state of affairs - the effective emotional desertion of his family by the father. But the reflection that divorce often does no more damage to children than marriage itself hardly inspires rejoicing.
Battle of the Sexes: Its Social History
While the escalating war between men and women have psychological roots in the disintegration of the marital relation, and more broadly in the changing patterns of socialization outlined in the preceding chapter, much of this tension can be explained without reference to psychology. The battle of the sexes also constitutes a social phenomena with a history of its own. The reasons for the recent intensification of sexual combat lie in the transformation of capitalism from its paternalistic and familial form to a managerial, corporate, bureaucratic system of almost total control: more specifically, in the collapse of “chivalry”; the liberation of sex from many of its former constraints; the pursuit of sexual pleasure as an end in itself; the emotional overloading of personal relations; and most important of all, the irrational male response to the emergence of the liberated woman.
It has been clear for some time that “chivalry is dead.” The tradition of gallantry formerly masked and to some degree mitigated the organized oppression of women. While males monopolized political and economic power, they made their domination of women more palatable by surrounding it with an elaborate ritual of deference and politesse. They set themselves up as protectors of the weaker sex, and this cloying but useful fiction set limits to their capacity to exploit women through sheer physical force. The counterconvention of droit de seigneur, which justified the predatory exploits of the privileged classes against women socially inferior to themselves, nevertheless showed that the male sex at no time ceased to regard most women as fair game. The long history of rape and seduction, moreover, served as a reminder that animal strength remained the basis of masculine ascendancy, manifested here in its most direct and brutal form. Yet polite conventions, even when they were no more than a façade, provided women with ideological leverage in their struggle to domesticate the wildness and savagery of men. They surrounded essentially exploitive relationships with a network of reciprocal obligations, which if nothing else made exploitation easier to bear.
The symbiotic interdependence of exploiters and exploited, so characteristic of paternalism in all ages, survived in male-female relations long after the collapse of patriarchal authority in other areas. Because the convention of deference to the fair sex was so closely bound up with paternalism, however, it lived on borrowed time once the democratic revolutions of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries had destroyed the last foundations of feudalism. The decline of paternalism, and of the rich public ceremonial formerly associated with it, spelled the end of gallantry. Women themselves began to perceive the connection between their debasement and their sentimental exaltation, rejected their confining position on the pedestal of masculine adoration, and demanded the demystification of female sexuality.
Democracy and feminism have now stripped the veil of courtly convention from the subordination of women, revealing the sexual antagonisms formerly concealed by the “feminine mystique.” Denied illusions of comity, men and women find it more difficult than before to confront each other as friends and lovers, let alone as equals. As male supremacy becomes ideologically untenable, incapable of justifying itself as protection, men assert their domination more directly, in fantasies and occasionally in acts of raw violence. Thus the treatment of women in movies, according to one study, has shifted “from reverence to rape.”
Women who abandon the security of well-defined though restrictive social roles have always exposed themselves to sexual exploitation, having surrendered the usual claims of respectability. Mary Wollstonecraft, attempting to live as a free woman, found herself brutally deserted by Gilbert Imlay. Later feminists forfeited the privileges of sex and middle-class origin when they campaigned for women’s rights. Men reviled them publicly as sexless “she-men” and approached them privately as loose women. A Cincinnati brewer, expecting to be admitted to Emma Goldman’s hotel room when he found her alone, became alarmed when she threatened to wake the whole establishment. He protested, “I thought you believed in free love.” Ingrid Bengis reports that when she hitchhiked across the country, men expected her to pay for rides with sexual favors. Her refusal elicited the predictable reply: “Well, girls shouldn’t hitchhike in the first place.”
What distinguishes the present time from the past is that defiance of sexual conventions less and less presents itself as a matter of individual choice, as it was for the pioneers of feminism. Since most of those conventions have already collapsed, even a woman who lays no claim to her rights nevertheless finds it difficult to claim the traditional privileges of her sex. All women find themselves identified with “women’s lib” merely by virtue of their sex, unless by strenuous disavowals they identify themselves with its enemies. All women share in the burdens as well as the benefits of “liberation,” both of which can be summarized by saying that men no longer treat women as ladies.
The Sexual “Revolution”
The demystification of womanhood goes hand in hand with the desublimation of sexuality. The “repeal of reticence” has dispelled the aura of mystery surrounding sex and removed most of the obstacles to its public display. Institutionalized sexual segregation has given way to arrangements that promote the intermingling of the sexes at every stage of life. Efficient contraceptives, legalized abortion, and a “realistic” and “healthy” acceptance of the body have weakened the links that once tied sex to love, marriage, and procreation. Men and women now pursue sexual pleasure as an end in itself, unmediated even by the conventional trappings of romance.
Sex valued purely for its own sake loses all reference to the future and brings no hope of permanent relationships. Sexual liaisons, including marriage, can be terminated at pleasure. This means, as Willard Waller demonstrated a long time ago, that lovers forfeit the right to be jealous or to insist on fidelity as a condition of erotic union. In his sociological satire of the recently divorced, Waller pointed out that the bohemians of the 1920s attempted to avoid emotional commitments while eliciting them from others.
Since the bohemian was “not ready to answer with his whole personality for the consequences of the affair, nor to give any assurance of its continuance,” he lost the right to demand such an assurance from others. “To show jealousy,” under these conditions, became “nothing short of a crime…. So if one falls in love in Bohemia, he conceals it from his friends as best he can.” In similar studies of the “rating and dating complex” on college campuses, Waller found that students who fell in love invited the ridicule of their peers. Exclusive attachments have way to an easygoing promiscuity as the normal pattern of sexual relations. Popularity replaced purity as the measure of a woman’s social value; the sentimental cult of virginity gave way to “playful woman-sharing,” which had “no negative effect,” as Wolfenstein and Leites pointed out in their study of movies, “on the friendly relations between the men.”(*) In the thirties and forties, the cinematic fantasy in which a beautiful girl dances with a chorus of men, favoring one no more than the others, expressed an ideal to which reality more and more closely conformed. In Elmtown’s Youth, August Hollingshead described a freshman girl who violated conventional taboos against drinking, smoking, and “fast” behavior and still retained her standing in the school’s most prominent clique, partly carefully calibrated promiscuity. “To be seen with her adds to a boy’s prestige in the elite peer group…. she pets with her dates discreetly never goes too far, just far enough to make them come back again.” In high school as in college, the peer group attempts through conventional ridicule and vituperation to prevent its members from falling in love with the wrong people, indeed from falling in love at all; for as Hollingshead noted, lovers “are lost to the adolescent world with its quixotic enthusiasms and varied group activities.”
These studies show that the main features of the contemporary sexual scene had already established themselves well before the celebrated “sexual revolution” of the sixties and seventies: casual promiscuity, a wary avoidance of emotional commitments, an attack on jealousy and possessiveness. Recent developments, however, have introduced a new source of tension: the modern woman’s increasingly insistent demand for sexual fulfillment. In the 1920s and 1930s, many women still approached sexual encounters with a hesitance that combined prudery and a realistic fear of consequences. Superficially seductive, they took little pleasure in sex even when they spoke the jargon of sexual liberation and professed to live for pleasure and thrills. Doctors worried about female frigidity, and psychiatrists had no trouble in recognizing among their female patients the classic patterns of hysteria described by Freud, in which a coquettish display of sexuality often coexists with powerful repression and a rigid, puritanical morality.
Today women have dropped much of their sexual reserve. In the eyes of men, this makes them more accessible as sexual partners but also more threatening. Formerly men complained about women’s lack of sexual response; now they find this response intimidating and agonize about their capacity to satisfy it. “I’m sorry they ever found out they could have orgasms too,” Heller’s Bob Slocum says. The famous Masters-Johnson report on female sexuality added to these anxieties by depicting women as sexually insatiable, inexhaustible in their capacity to experience orgasm after orgasm. Some feminists have used the Masters report to attack the “myth of vaginal orgasm,” to assert women’s independence of men, or to taunt men with their sexual inferiority. “Theoretically, a woman could go on having orgasms indefinitely if physical exhaustion did not intervene,” writes Mary Jane Sherfey. According to Kate Millett, “While the male’s sexual potential is limited, the female’s appears to be biologically nearly inexhaustible.” Sexual “performance” thus becomes another weapon in the war between men and women; social inhibitions no longer prevent women from exploiting the tactical advantage which the current obsession with sexual measurement has given them. Whereas the hysterical woman, even when she fell in love and longed to let herself go, seldom conquered her underlying aversion to sex, the pseudoliberated woman of Cosmopolitan exploits her sexuality in a more deliberate and calculating way, not only because she has fewer reservations about sex but because she manages more successfully to avoid emotional entanglements. “Women with narcissistic personalities,” writes Otto Kernberg, “may appear quite ‘hysterical’ on the surface, with their extreme coquettishness and exhibitionism but the cold, shrewdly calculating quality of their seductiveness is in marked contrast to the much warmer, emotionally involved quality of hysterical pseudo-hypersexuality.”
[*. The transition in American movies from the vamp to the “good-bad girl,” according to Wolfenstein and Leites, illustrates the decline of jealousy and the displacement of sexual passion by sexiness. “The dangerousness of the vamp was associated with the man’s intolerance for sharing her with other men. Her seductive appearance and readiness for love carried a strong suggestion that there has been and might be other men in her life…. The good-bad girl is associated with a greater tolerance for sharing the woman…. In effect, the woman’s attraction is enhanced by her association with other men. All that is needed to eliminate unpleasantness is the assurance that those relations were not serious.”]
Togetherness
Both men and women have come to approach personal relations with a heightened appreciation of their emotional risks. Determined to manipulate the emotions of others while protecting themselves against emotional injury, both sexes cultivate a protective shallowness, a cynical detachment they do not altogether feel but which soon becomes habitual and in any case embitters personal relations merely through its repeated profession. At the same time, people demand from personal relations the richness and intensity of a religious experience. Although in some ways men and women have had to modify their demands on each other, especially in their inability to exact commitments of lifelong sexual fidelity, in other ways they demand more than ever. In the American middle class, moreover, men and women see too much of each other and find it hard to put their relations in proper perspective. The degradation of work and the impoverishment of communal life force people to turn to sexual excitement to satisfy all their emotional needs. Formerly sexual antagonism was tempered not only by chivalric, paternalistic, conventions but by a more relaxed acceptance of the limitations of the other sex. Men and women acknowledged each other’s shortcomings without making them the basis of a comprehensive indictment. Partly because they found more satisfaction than is currently available in casual relations with their own sex, they did not have to raise friendship itself into a political program, an ideological alternative to love. An easygoing, everyday contempt for the weaknesses of the other sex, institutionalized as folk wisdom concerning the emotional incompetence of men or the brainlessness of women, kept sexual enmity within bounds and prevented it from becoming an obsession.
Feminism and the ideology of intimacy have discredited the sexual stereotypes which kept women in their place but which also made it possible to acknowledge sexual antagonism without raising it to the level of all-out warfare. Today the folklore of sexual differences and the acceptance of sexual friction survive only in the working class. Middle-class feminists envy the ability of working-class women to acknowledge that men get in their way without becoming man-haters. “These women are less angry at their men because they don’t spend that much time with them,” according to one observer. “Middle-class women are the ones who were told men had to be their companions.”
…
Strategies of Accommodation
Because the contradiction exposed (and exacerbated) by feminism are so painful, the feminist movement has always found it tempting to renounce its own insights and program and to retreat into some kind of accommodation with the existing order, often disguised as embattled militancy. In the nineteenth century, American feminists edged away from their original programs, which envisioned not only economic equality but a sweeping reform of marriage and sexual relations, into a protracted campaign for woman suffrage. Today many feminists argue, once again in the name of political realism, that women need to establish their influence within the two-party system, as a kind of loyal opposition, before they can raise broader issues. Such tactics merely serve to postpone the discussion of broader issues indefinitely. Just as the women’s rights movement of the nineteenth century drew back from discussions of love and marriage when they met with public hostility, so strong forces in the National Organization for Women today propose to improve woman’s image, to show that feminism in no way threatens men, and to blame “social conditions” or bad attitudes, not male supremacy, for the subordination of the female sex.
More subtle forms of accommodation pose as radical challenges to mainstream feminism and the status quo. Some militants have revived discredited theories of matriarchal origins or myths of the moral superiority of women, thereby consoling themselves for this lack of power. They appear to the illusory solidarity of sisterhood in order to avoid arguments about the proper goals of the feminist movement. By institutionalizing women’s activities as “alternatives to the male death-culture,” they avoid challenging that culture and protect women from the need to compete with men for jobs, political power, and public attention. What began as a tactical realization that women have to win their rights without waiting for men to grant them has degenerated into the fantasy of a world without men. As one critic has noted, the movement’s “apparent vigor turns out to be mere busyness with self-perpetuating make-work: much of it serving in the short run to provide its more worldly experts with prestige, book contracts, and grants, its dreamers with an illusory matriarchal utopia.”
“Radical lesbians” carry the logic of separation to its ultimate futility, withdrawing at every level from the struggle against male domination while directing a steady stream of abuse against men and against women who refuse to acknowledge their homosexual proclivities. Proclaiming their independence from men, militant lesbians in fact envision a protected enclave for themselves within a male-dominated society. Yet this form of surrender - the dream of an island secure against male intrusion - remains attractive to women who repeatedly fail to find a union of sexuality and tenderness in their relations with men. As such disappointments become more and more common, sexual separatism commends itself as the most plausible substitute for liberation.
All these strategies of accommodation derive their emotional energy from an impulse much more prevalent than feminism: the flight from feeling. For many reasons, personal relations have become increasingly risky - most obviously, because they no longer carry any assurance of permanence. Men and women make extravagant demands on each other and experience irrational rage and hatred when their demands are not met. Under these conditions, it is not surprising that more and more people long for emotional detachment or “enjoy sex,” as Hendin writes, “only in situations where they can define and limit the intensity of the relationship.” A lesbian confesses: “The only men I’ve ever been able to enjoy sex with were men I didn’t give a shit about. Then I could let go, because I didn’t feel vulnerable.”
Sexual separatism is only one of many strategies for controlling or escaping from strong feeling. Many prefer the escape of drugs, which dissolve anger and desire in a glow of good feeling and create the illusion of intense experience without emotion. Others simply undertake to live alone, repudiating connections with either sex. The reported increase in single-member households undoubtedly reflects a new taste for personal independence, but it also expresses a revulsion against close emotional attachments of any kind. The rising rate of suicide among young people can be attributed, in part, to the same flight from emotional entanglements. Suicide, in Hendin’s words, represents the “ultimate numbness.”
The most prevalent form of escape from emotional complexity is promiscuity: the attempt to achieve a strict separation between sex and feeling. Here again, escape masquerades as liberation, regression as progress. The progressive ideology of “nonbiding commitments” and “cool sex” makes a virtue of disengagement, while purporting to criticize the depersonalization of sex. Enlightened authorities like Alex Comfort, Nena and George O’Neill, Robert and Anna Francoeur insist on the need to humanize sex by making it into a “total experience” instead of a mechanical performance; yet in the same breath they condemn the human emotions of jealousy and possessiveness and decry “romantic illusions.” “Radical” therapeutic wisdom urges men and women to express their needs and wishes without reserve - since all needs and wishes have equal legitimacy - but warns them not to expect a single mate to satisfy them. This program seeks to allay emotional tensions, in effect, by reducing the demands men and women make on each other, instead of making men and women better able to meet them. The promotion of sex as a “healthy,” “normal” part of life masks a desire to divest it of the emotional intensity that unavoidably clings to it: the reminders of earlier entanglements with parents, the “unhealthy” inclination to re-create those relations in relation with lovers. The enlightened insistence that sex is not “dirty” expresses a wish to sanitize it by washing away its unconscious associations.
The humanistic critique of sexual “depersonalization” thus sticks to the surface of the problem. Even while preaching the need to combine sex with feeling, it gives ideological legitimacy to the protective withdrawal from strong emotions. It condemns the overemphasis on technique while extolling sexual relations that are hermetically free of affect. It exhorts men and women to “get in touch with their feelings” but encourages them to make “resolutions about freedom and ‘non-possessiveness,’” as Ingrid Bengis writes, which “tear the very heart out of intimacy.” It satirizes the crude pornographic fantasies sold by the mass media, which idealize hairless women with inflated mammaries, but it does so out of an aversion to fantasy itself, which so rarely conforms to social definition of what is healthy minded. The critics of dehumanized sex, like the critics of sport, hope to abolish spectatorship and to turn everyone into a participant, hoping that vigorous exercise will drive away unwholesome thoughts. They attack pornography, not because they wish to promote more complicated and satisfying fantasies about sex, but because, on the contrary, they wish to win acceptance for a realistic view of womanhood and of the reduced demands that men and women have a right to make of each other.
The Castrating Woman of Male Fantasy
The flight from feeling, whether or not it tries to justify itself under an ideology of nonbinding commitments, takes the form above all of a flight from fantasy. This shows that it represents more than defensive reaction to external disappointments. Today men and women seek escape from emotion not only because they have suffered too many wounds in the wars of love but because they experience their own inner impulses as intolerably urgent and menacing. The flight from feeling originates not only in the sociology of the sex war but in the psychology that accompanies it. If “many of us,” as Ingrid Bengis observes of women and as others have observed of men as well, “have had to anesthetize ourselves to [our] needs,” it is the very character of those needs (and of the defenses erected against them) which gives rise to the belief that they cannot be satisfied in heterosexual relations - perhaps should not be satisfied in any form - and which therefore prompts people to withdraw from intense emotional encounters.
Instinctual desires always threaten psychic equilibrium and for this reason can never be given direct expression. In our society, however, they present themselves as intolerably menacing, in part because the collapse of authority has removed so many of the external prohibitions against the expression of dangerous impulses. The superego can no longer ally itself, in its battle against impulse, with outside authorities. It has to rely almost entirely on its own resources, and these too have diminished in their effectiveness. Not only have the social agents of repression lost much of their force, but their internal representations in the superego have suffered a similar decline. The ego ideal, which cooperates in the work of repression by making socially acceptable behavior itself an object of libidinal cathexis, has become increasingly pallid and ineffective in the absence of compelling moral models outside the self. This means, as we have seen, that the superego has to rely more and more on harsh, punitive dictation, drawing on the aggressive impulses in the id and directing them against the ego.
The narcissist feels consumed by his own appetites. The intensity of his oral hunger leads him to make inordinate demands on his friends and sexual partners; yet in the same breath he repudiates those demands asks only a causal connection without promise of permanence on either side. He longs to free himself from his own hunger and rage, to achieve a calm detachment beyond emotion, and to outgrow his dependence on others. He longs for the indifference to human relationships and to life itself that would enable him to acknowledge its passing in Kurt Vonnegut’s laconic phrase, “So it goes,” which so aptly expresses the ultimate aspiration of the psychiatric seeker. <“Western” Buddhism>
But although the psychological man of our times frightens himself with the intensity of his inner needs, the needs of others appall him no less than his own. One reason the demands he inadvertently imposes on others make him uneasy is that they may justify other in making demands on himself. Men especially fear the demands of women, not only because women no longer hesitate to press them but because men find it so difficult to imagine an emotional need that does not wish to consume whatever it seizes on.
Women today ask for two things in their relations with men: sexual satisfaction and tenderness. Whether separately or in combination, both demands seem to convey to many males the same message - that women are voracious, insatiable. Why should men respond in this fashion to demands that reason tells them have obvious legitimacy? Rational arguments notoriously falter in the face of unconscious anxieties; women’s sexual demands terrify men because they reverberate at such deep layers of the masculine mind, calling up early fantasies of a possessive, suffocating, devouring, and castrating mother. The persistence of such fantasies in later life intensifies and brings into the open the secret terror that has always been an important part of the male image of womanhood. The strength of these pre-Oedipal fantasies, in the narcissistic type of personality, makes it likely that men will approach women with hopelessly divided feelings, dependent and demanding in their fixation on the breast but terrified of the vagina which threatens to eat them alive; of the legs with which popular imagination endows the American heroine, legs which can presumably strangle or scissor victims to death; of the dangerous, phallic breast itself, encased in unyielding armor, which in unconscious terror more nearly resembles an implement of destruction that a source of nourishment. The sexually voracious female, long a stock figure of masculine pornography, in the twentieth century has emerged into the daylight of literary respectability. Similarly the cruel, destructive, domineering woman, la belle dame sans merci, has moved from the periphery of literature and the other arts to a position close to the center. Formerly a source of delicious titillation, of sadomasochistic gratification tinged with horrified fascination, she now inspires unambiguous loathing and dread. Heartless, domineering, burning (as Leslie Fiedler has said) with “a lust of the nerves rather than of the flesh,” she unmans every man who falls under her spell. In American fiction, she assumes a variety of guides, all of them variations on the same theme: the bitchy heroine of Hemingway, Faulkner, and Fitzegerald; Nathanael West’s Faye Greener, whose “invitation wasn’t to pleasure but to struggle, hard and sharp, closer to murder than to love”; Tennessee Williams’s Maggie Tolliver, edgy as a cat on a hot tin roof; the domineering wife whose mastery of her husband, as in the joyless humor of James Thurber, recalls the mastery of the castrating mother over her son; the man-eating Mom denounced in the shrill falsetto of Philip Wylie’s Generation of Vipers, Wright Morris’s Man and Boy, Edward Albee’s The American Dream; the suffocating Jewish mother, Mrs. Portnoy; the Hollywood vampire (Theda Bara), scheming seductress (Marlene Dietrich), or bad blonde (Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield); the precocious female killer of William March’s The Bad Seed.
Child or woman, wife or mother, this female cuts men to ribbons or swallows them whole. She travels accompanied by eunuchs, by damaged men suffering from nameless wounds, or by a few strong men brought low by their misguided attempts to turn her into a real woman. Whether or not the actual incidence of impotence has increased in American males - and there is no reason to doubt reports that it has - the specter of impotence haunts the contemporary imagination, not least because it focuses the fear that a played-out Anglo-Saxon culture is about to fall before the advance of hardier races. The nature of impotence, moreover, has undergone an important historical shift. In the nineteenth century, respectable men sometimes experienced embarrassing sexual failures with women of their own class, or else suffered from what Freud called “psychic impotence” - the characteristic Victorian split between sensuality and affection. Although most of these men dutifully had intercourse with their wives, they derived sexual satisfaction only from intercourse with prostitutes or with women otherwise degraded. As Freud explained, this psychic syndrome - “the most prevalent form of degradation” in the erotic life of his time - originated in the Oedipus complex. After the painful renunciation of the mother, sensuality seeks only those objects that evoke no reminder of her, while the mother herself, together with other “pure” (socially respectable) women, is idealized beyond reach of the sensual.
Today, impotence typically seems to originate not in renunciation of the mother but in earlier experiences, often reactivated by the apparently aggressive overtures of sexually liberated women. Fear of the devouring mother of pre-Oedipal fantasy gives rise to a generalized fear of women that has little resemblance to the sentimental adoration men once granted to women who made them sexually uncomfortable. The fear of women, closely associated with a fear of the consuming desires within, reveals itself not only as impotence but as a boundless rage against the female sex. This blind and impotent rage, which seems so prevalent at the present time, only superficially represents a defensive male reaction against feminism. It is only because the recent revival of feminism stirs up such deeply rooted memories that it gives rise to such primitive emotions. Men’s fear of women, moreover, exceeds the actual threat to their sexual privileges. Whereas the resentment of women against men for the most part has solid roots in the discrimination and sexual danger to which women are constantly exposed, the resentment of men against women, when men still control most of the power and wealth in society yet feel themselves threatened on every hand - intimidated, emasculated - appears deeply irrational, and for that reason not likely to be appeased by changes in feminist tactics designed to reassure men that liberated women threaten no one. When even Mom is a menace, there is not much that feminists can say to soften the sex war or to assure their adversaries that men and women will live happily together when it is over.

** ALL WEEKEND (FRI 5/10 - SUN 5/12 *\*
Mother's Day Afternoon Tea Snapdragon Tea, 127 Harvard Dr. SE What better way to celebrate Mother's Day than with a tea party? We welcome kids of all ages, and provide children’s menus upon request. Special gluten free/vegan/vegetarian menus available upon request. Reservations are required and can be made through our website. Tea party cost is $18.50 for the children's menu and $34.95 for the full 3-course tea party

• Fri 10 AM - 2 PM
• Sat and Sun 10 AM - 4 PM

Arsenic and Old Lace presented by Rio Rancho Players Community Theater St. Francis Episcopal Church, 2903 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho Tickets are $20 for seniors, students, educators, and military personnel. General Admission is $25. We also offer a group rate for parties of 6 or more, for $18 a ticket. All tickets include one dessert and one beverage

• Fri 2 PM and 7:30 PM
• Sat and Sun 7:30 PM only

** BOTH SAT 5/11 AND SUN 5/12 *\*
Sat AND Sun 8:30 AM - 3 PM Spring Garden Festival Rio Grande Nature Center State Park, 2901 Candelaria Rd. NW The festival will feature live acoustic music, craft vendors, guided walks, Discovery Pond Open House and presentations about the local plants and animals. Just in time for Spring planting! Garden Plant Sale. Locally grown, Great prices, Cash sales only. While you are at the park, check out the Nature Shop, managed by the Friends of the Rio Grande Nature Center. Purchases are tax-free and help to support the Park: books & field guides for adults & children ~ T-shirts, sweatshirts, hats ~ posters ~ jewelry ~ toys & games ~ gifts and arts & crafts by local and US artists. Day-Use Fee: Cost $3 per vehicle (exact cash or check) Friends of the RGNC permit holders and NM State Parks annual permit holders enter free with valid permit displayed
Sat 12 - 8 PM AND Sun 11 AM - 5 PM Let's Celebrate Mom Pinspiration, 6271 Riverside Plaza Ln. NW, Ste D1 Let’s celebrate Mom, dad or that special mother figure in your life! Looking for something fun and different to do with mom on Mother’s day? Why not spend some quality time with that very special mother figure in your life? Crafting together will bring lasting memories for years to come! All crafts, splatter, food and drinks will be 20% off for your entire group. We thought this would be a great way to honor and celebrate that special someone. A free non-alcoholic mimosa for mom or dad is our treat for them. We strongly encourage reservations, especially for Sunday. We are opening early on Sunday and closing an hour earlier so we can spend time with our families as well
Sat 7 - 9 PM AND Sun 10:30 AM - 12:30 PM Mother's Day: Chicago Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Join us for a special Mother's Day screening of the timeless classic, CHICAGO. Treat your mom to a night of glitz and glamour as you sing along to hits like 'All That Jazz' and 'Cell Block Tango.' This event is sure to be a roaring good time with a glass of complimentary wine and an in-theater raffle! (tickets)
** Fri 5/10 *\*
Fri 11 AM - 9 PM Last Day of Teacher Appreciation Week D.H. Lescombes Winery & Bistro, 901 Rio Grande Blvd. NW, Ste B-100 Let's raise a glass to the real MVPs of education – our incredible teachers! From inspiring minds to shaping futures, they do it all with passion and dedication. Thank you for your tireless efforts, unwavering support, and endless encouragement. Here's to celebrating the superheroes in our classrooms every day! Dine with us and show your school ID for a special $10 thank you card
Fri 6 PM World Ballet Series: Swan Lake Kiva Auditorium, 401 2nd St. NW Swan Lake, the ballet of all ballets, will be performed one night only as a part of the World Ballet Series. See the iconic Dance of the Little Swans, count the 32 fouettés performed by Odile, and immerse yourself in magical Tchaikovsky's music. The production will feature richly detailed, hand-painted sets as well as over 150 radiant costumes that bring fresh representation to this timeless classic. World Ballet Series is a unique project that attracts many international artists and is composed of renowned professional dancers representing over ten countries who are united by a passion for entertaining audiences and enriching classical ballet traditions through brilliant, critically-acclaimed new productions of timeless ballet classics. Audience: For ages 5 & over. Duration: 2 hours 30 minutes (including 20-minute intermission) (tickets)
Fri 7 – 11:30 PM The Mango Cakes w/ Nosotros Sister, 407 Central Ave NW Get ready for an unforgettable night of music with The Mango Cakes and Nosotros! Join us for a spectacular show featuring the infectious pop sounds of The Mango Cakes and the sensational salsa rhythms of Albuquerque's own, Nosotros. Don't miss this dynamic musical fusion that promises to get your feet moving and your heart singing (tickets)
Fri 7:30 PM Doug Lawrence's Nuevo Mexicanos Outpost Performance Space, 210 Yale Blvd. SE Albuquerque’s own multi-Grammy-winning tenor saxophonist Doug Lawrence, the featured soloist with The Count Basie Orchestra for the past 25+ years, returns to Outpost with his New Mexican bandmates – Steve Figueroa, piano; Paul Gonzales, trumpet; Milo Jaramillo, bass; Ricky Carrido, congas and David Flores, drums – the group he has dubbed his Nuevo Mexicanos band. Always adding a new twist to their performances, for this show, they will be playing new material and featuring two special guests - "The Queen of New Mexico Salsa," Jackie Zamora with Liza Flores singing backup to Jackie, along with their signature hard bop and Latin jazz tunes they are known for. Besides his work with the Count Basie Orchestra, Doug Lawrence has also worked and recorded with a veritable “who’s who of jazz” including Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, Dizzy Gillespie, Benny Goodman, Sarah Vaughan, Joe Williams, Nancy Wilson, Joey DeFrancesco, Aretha Franklin and many others. He continues to tour and record with many of today’s top names in jazz (tickets)
Fri 7:30 PM Freud's Talking Head Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE Pink Freud and Start Making Sense team up for a night of funk, rock, spectacle, dancing and friendship, while we all celebrate Samantha and Tony's and all the other May birthdays! There will be booty shaking, lasers, too many cocktails maybe, and a night of fun to remember! (tickets)
Fri 8 PM Blue Lab Comedy Night! Brew Lab 101, 3301 Southern Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho Come out for our first outdoor "blue" comedy show of the season! The local comics will be bringing the thunder outside in the Beer Garden, and you won't want to miss it! We'll have the usual great selection of adult beverages and food trucks, but leave the kiddos at home for this one! No cover, but 21+ please!
Fri 8 PM Live Salsa with Son Como Son Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Dance to live Salsa with Son Como Son, hosted by DJ Solovino. Authentic Cuban Salsa with Son Como Son on Juno's patio. 21+. Come early and get a pizza or another item from Juno's menu; kitchen stays open until 9:45p (tickets)
Fri 8 – 11 PM Orange Lala Vinyl Club Spins Out Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE @ the_orange_lala vinyl club with Biscodots, DJ Boggle, Dusty Breaks, and night_cruiser spinning an eclectic assortment of all-vinyl tracks and curating wild videos for the night
Fri 8 – 11 PM Goth Night & Dark Market: Summer Goth Edition Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW We're celebrating summer as it was intended to be celebrated, with Goth music. Time to break out your Doc Martins, black nail polish, eyeliner, choker, and red lip stick because we're hosting a night of beautiful music for you dark hearts. DJ Riff Rat and DJ Batboy will be spinning one the ones and twos, Pepe El Monstrito will be providing sound, and Spectral Youth will be featuring some amazing local vendors
** Sat 5/11 *\*
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW The Downtown Growers' Market happens every Saturday! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 9 AM – 12 PM Bosque Restoration Field Day Tingley Beach, Tingley Dr. SW Help us restore Bosque habitat, Yerba Mansa, and other native plants. Our restoration work includes the removal of invasive non-native Ravenna Grass from the understory along with the replanting and reseeding of native grasses, herbs, and shrubs. These events are open to all members of the community so bring your family and friends. Work takes place at our Albuquerque restoration site located along Tingley Drive, south of Central. Park in the lot at the south end of all the fishing ponds, which is .8 miles south of Central. Wear protective long sleeve clothing and bring plenty of water as well as work gloves and a shovel, if you have them. City of Albuquerque Open Space will be there to train our work crew and provide gloves and tools for anyone who needs them. Please RSVP so we know how many volunteers to expect. Thank you!
Sat 9 AM – 12 PM Spinning at the Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Meet us at the center lawn at the Downtown Growers Market. Come and see us, chat with us, or bring something soft to put your wheel on and a chair if you want to spin with us. If planning on spinning, please RSVP through the website
Sat 9 AM – 1 PM Mother’s Day Sip and Shop Rust is Gold Coffee, 3732 Eubank Blvd. NE Join us for our 5th Annual Mother’s Day Market, featuring local vendors with Mother’s Day inspired gift ideas including: • Flower Bouquets • Greeting Cards • Jewelry • Baked goods • Music (Vinyl Albums). Coffee Drink specials for Mom too!
Sat 10 AM – 2 PM Paws & Pedals: A Pet Adoption Day with Cross My Paws Animal Rescue Bike In Coffee, 949 Montoya Rd. NW Don't miss out on puppy cuddles, coffee, and the chance to meet your new best friend!
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Shop Local Market Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE Rio Rancho If you are a local vendor, come out to Cabezon Park’s local market! We support all things local! Everything must be handmade, or homegrown. No franchise companies. No resale of items. No political booths. No prepared food from Big Box Stores! No premade items re-branded and resold as homemade! No products containing non-sustainable oils. No products containing preservatives, colorants, etcetera, that are artificial, chemical or contain carcinogenics. No sale of weapons or alcohol. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more information. No admission fee for shoppers
Sat 11 AM The Mama Bear Market Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Get ready for a fun-filled day of shopping, eating, and celebrating your Mama Bear! Join us to explore a variety of unique vendors offering everything from handmade crafts to delicious treats. Whether you're a mom looking for some well-deserved pampering or just looking for a fun day out, this event is perfect for everyone. We will also have a FREE photobooth available to help capture a special moment for your mama bear. Don't miss out on this opportunity to support local businesses and connect with the community. This event is FREE and open to the whole family
Sat 11 AM – 12 PM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark International District Library, 7601 Central Ave NE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 11 AM - 3 PM Lemonade Day Albuquerque Old Town Plaza Join us for Lemonade Day, where young entrepreneurs showcase their business skills by running lemonade stands across the city! From budgeting to marketing, they'll be serving up delicious drinks while learning valuable lessons. Mark your calendars to support our budding business leaders!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Multicultural Arts Festival 13200 Wenonah Ave SE Last year, the festival featured around 30 artists, outdoor activities for the family, food trucks with a range of options, and resource tables for the community. This year, the City is looking forward to building upon the success of the event and creating more opportunities for artists and families to come together to celebrate the talent within our community
Sat 11:30 AM – 2:30 PM Adoption Event Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Join us and our BernCo pets for an adoption event. Come find your new best friend! All adoptions include rabies vaccine, spaying/neutering, and microchips. Did we mention there is no adoption fee? Adopt, don't shop!
Sat 12 PM Mosaic Bird Ornament Rise and Shine Mercantile, 8208 Menaul Blvd. NE $20 all materials included (no refunds). We will practice making a coaster first and then we will make an ornament. Very beginner class. Must stop in and register and pay for class first
Sat 12 – 1:30 PM Mother's Day Cookie Class Poulin Marketplace, 8600 Pan American Fwy NE We'll have an afternoon of fun with friends and partners (or come solo and make new friends). I will walk you through decorating these three beautiful cookies. This class will not cover outlining and flooding skills. Instead, we will work on leaf techniques and floral techniques using two piping tips. (Piping tips will be provided but will not be taken home) Tickets include: -Drink from the venue -Personalized cookie in a different flavor -Materials for class (Cookies, icing, etc.) -Guided instruction from a professional cookie decorator -Giveaways -A percentage of every ticket is donated to Shine, a local organization working in local schools
Sat 12 – 5 PM Mothers Day Market Bow & Arrow Brewing, 608 McKnight Ave NW Mother’s Day Market featuring fine art, home decor, sweet treats, clay works, pottery, flowers, jewelry, & eats by Four Corners Navajo Tacos!
Sat 12 – 10 PM Party In the Park Roosevelt Park, 500 Spruce St. SE Line Up: 12p Moxie, 1p Vic, 2p Number 9, 3p Scin.Til.Late, 4p Walter, 5p B12, 6p the Rev, 7p Sin Seven, 8p Swift Money, 9p 8th Wonder
Sat 1 – 3 PM Basics of Distilling Class Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE A beginner level class covering the distilling process and the ingredients that go into various spirits. Enjoy some good craft spirits? Always wanted to make your own? In addition to discussing the various types of spirits and the ingredients that go into them, we will cover the basic distillation process, various types of stills, and everything else you will need to start making your own whiskey, rum, vodka, or moonshine! (tickets)
Sat 1 – 4 PM Birthday Party for Sebas w/Mala Maña! A Kid-Friendly Brewery Fundraiser to Fight Childhood Cancer Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Join us in celebrating our sweet Sebas' 5th birthday! • Canteen Brewhouse will generously be donating $1 per beer, wine, cider or root beer sold during the event! So come thirsty! • Live music by Mala Maña (1:30-2:45PM) and DJ Pancho! • Kid-friendly activities. • Buy Besos for Sebas Merchandise. • Join Chuy Martinez in singing "Happy Birthday" to Sebas and make a donation. This Mother's Day, help us spread hope and make a difference in the fight against Myoepithelial Carcinoma (MEC). If you are unable to join in person you can still send Sebas a "beso" (a kiss) with a contribution to the "100k Besos for Sebas" Facebook fundraiser. All proceeds will benefit cureMEC to support cancer research for Sebas
Sat 1 – 5 PM Carne Asada Sabado! Bike Day Hangout! 1119 Candelaria Rd. NW Your Rebels just want y'all to come hang out! It's a Rebel event, so who knows what can and will happen? We do know that there will be Fun, Drink, Camaraderie, and a Food Truck. Red Taco Shop will be there serving Carne Asada Specials (Asada Nachos, Asada Tacos, Asada Quesadillas and Asada Bowls). Please bring your Friends and your whole Family. More information will be added as The Rebels figure out what they want to do. They can be quite secretive at times lol. Remember, it's all about the cause
Sat 2 – 4 PM Pre-Mother's Day Show Sawmill Market, 1909 Bellamah Ave NW Burque Jazz Bandits are Celebrating all the mommas at Sawmill! This event is outdoors, so be prepared for the sunshine! Tips appreciated! Bandit merch will be available for purchase!
Sat 2 – 6 PM Birds of a Feather Fundraiser Bosque Brewing Cottonwood Public House, 10250 Cottonwood Park Dr. NW Join us and the amazing folks at Birds of a Feather Parrot Rescue of New Mexico for a special fundraiser! Meet several exotic parrots and learn all about their incredible mission! They will be raffling awesome prizes and a percentage of drink sales during the event will be donated to BoaF
Sat 3 – 10 PM Pints for Parenthood Marble Brewery, 111 Marble Ave NW Join Dar a Luz Birth & Health Center for our Pints for Parenthood event at Marble Brewery Downtown! Donations for Dar a Luz are welcome at the door. Along with Marble's renowned libations and food, we'll have live music from incredible local artists: All Thicc, Red Light Cameras, Willa Jay, Sweet Roll, Sun Sounds, Trillbot. Dar a Luz Birth and Health Center is the only nationally accredited & state licensed freestanding birth and health center in NM. We are dedicated to providing compassionate and holistic prenatal care for birthing people, reproductive health services and a safe alternative to hospital birth for birthing people and their families
Sat 4 PM Make-A-Wish Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE Come support the Make-A-Wish Foundation! We will have multiple snack bar items and prizes for 1st and 2nd place! $20 per person. 2-6 players per team (sign up)
Sat 4 – 5 PM Concerts @ the Library: The Enchanters Taylor Ranch Library, 5700 Bogart St. NW Join us for Concerts @ the Library featuring The Enchanters! Experience the magic as this ten-member choral ensemble takes you on a musical journey through the decades, singing favorites from the 30s to the 90s in beautiful four-part harmony. With a diverse repertoire that includes holiday and patriotic numbers, The Enchanters have been delighting audiences for over four years. Don't miss their enchanting performance at the Taylor Ranch Library, the latest installment of our monthly concert series - all for FREE!
Sat 5 PM Mother's Day Celebration Osuna Nursery, 501 Osuna Rd. NE Whether you're searching for a heartfelt gift, indulging in a little self-care, or simply creating cherished memories with your loved ones, Osuna Nursery is the place to be. As you browse our blooms from beautiful ornamental trees to attractive annuals you'll enjoy: • Live music from award-winning cellist Ryan Smith 11am-1pm •Scenic photo opportunities •Osuna University Residential Irrigation with Chris Schlouski of Dekker Perich Sabatini from 11am to 12pm. There is no gift more meaningful than the gift of life. Come find the perfect pairing of plants and pottery to be a personalized reminder of how much she matters for years to come
Sat 6 – 9 PM Annual Bach Society Concert Hope in the Desert Episcopal Church, 8700 Alameda Blvd. NE It’s nearly time once again for our annual Bach Society performances. The New Mexico Bach Chorale and the New Mexico Bach Orchestra will perform J.S. Bach’s full St. John Passion. Tickets for the performance can be purchased online or by calling Hold My Ticket at 877-466-3404. Day-of tickets may be purchased at the door with cash or check
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Clout Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW The evening starts with complimentary dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment until 9 pm. Get ready to groove and have a blast!
Sat 6:30 – 9:30 PM Mother's Day Dance Skidmore's Holiday Bowl, 7515 Lomas Blvd. NE Join us for a night of bowling, food, drinks, and a Mother's Day dance to celebrate everything they do for us
Sat 7 PM Mother’s Day Concert Bandido Restaurante, 2128 Central Ave SE A special Mother’s Day concert with Micky Cruz. $10 cover, all ages
Sat 7 – 9 PM First Floor Highway Tractor Brewing, 118 Tulane Dr. SE ABQ band blending original music & reimagined covers w. an 80s inspirited New Wave / Post Punk sound
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Studio Night Out Dirty Bourbon Dance Hall & Saloon, 9800 Montgomery Blvd., Ste 4 Get your boots ready because we're going out! Come join us for a fun night out on the town. Come as you are and get your groove on. It's a great chance to put those dancing skills to good use. Feel free to invite anyone to come join the party. This event is free other than the cover at The Dirty Bourbon. There's no cover if you arrive before 8PM. Let us know if you have any questions at either 505-750-0011 or 520-261-1223
Sat 8 PM Emo Nite Live Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd NE Welcome to the electrifying world of Emo Nite Live! Hailing from the vibrant landscapes of Albuquerque, we are a dynamic band dedicated to bringing the spirited sounds of pop-punk and emo music to life, coupled with a unique karaoke experience that lets YOU be the lead singer! Signups to sing start at 8pm. Get there early if you want to participate. No door cover. 21+ only. Come and check out Albuquerque's newest southern style restaurant. Hear or sing some of your favorite pop-punk and emo anthems with us
Sat 8 – 10 PM Hops & Dreams: Star Wars Edition Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW Join us in a galaxy far, far away… The Desert Darlings return with Raqzia for an epic Star Wars belly dance show! Free show, but tips appreciated!
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - Saturdays with guest DJ ITALIA Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE DJ Gabriel Goza will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM Back in the Saddle 90's Country Cover Band Backstage at Revel, 4720 Alexander Blvd. NE Doors open at 8 pm, no cover. Show starts at 9 pm! All Ages are welcome! We will have giveaways! Come prepared to two-step and country dance to the 90's country music you love!
** Sun 5/12 ** -- Mother's Day
Sun 10 – 11 AM Yoga & Tea Lost Cultures Tea Bar, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW, Ste C Starting in May, we will be doing our event EVERY SUNDAY. It's a special space where you can release what no longer serves you and rejuvenate your soul. Join us for a truly enriching experience. The first 3 Sunday's will be with @ yoga.birch and the last Sunday of the month will be with @ curvaceousmermaidgoddess. $25 per person, 1 drink from the menu included (tickets)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM Seeds & Starts Day Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Ready, Set, Grow! The Rail Yards Market is the best local destination of plants for your garden, blooms for mom, and fresh spring produce for your table. Get your seeds and starter plants from your favorite local growers! Free for all! Everyone is welcome! EBT doubled with Double-Up-Food-Bucks. Senior and WIC programs welcome. Fresh local produce! Breakfast & lunch prepared food options. Handmade Art. ADA Accessible. Free Parking. FREE :: LOCAL :: FAMILY FRIENDLY :: PET FRIENDLY
Sun 10:30 AM – 2:30 PM Mother's Day Brunch Sheraton Uptown, 2600 Louisiana Blvd. NE Treat Mom to all her favorite brunch foods, including made-to-order omelets, garden salads, and of course elegant desserts. $55 per adult, $28 children 5-10 (plus tax & gratuity), children 0-4 complimentary with a paid adult. Reservations are required: 505.349.2520 (menu)
Sun 11 AM Mother's Day Special D.H. Lescomes Winery & Bistro, 901 Rio Grande Blvd. NW, Ste B-100 Celebrate Mother's Day with a special meal! We’re excited to introduce two mouthwatering specials that are sure to delight her taste buds: Baked Penne Rustica and Pan-Seared Chilean Sea Bass. Plus, add a glass of any of our 631 Signature wines to one of these specials for only $7 Reservations recommended, please call your location (more info)
Sun 11 AM – 4 PM Mother's Day Sunday Rally Sunday Service Motor Co, 2701 4th St. NW Join us for May's Sunday Rally - cohosted by Indian Motorcycle and the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride 2024. This month, we will be meeting at Indian Motorcycle off of Alameda for coffee and pastries. We will then cruise back to Sunday Service for live music, food, and raffles. Drop in and learn more about Indian Motorcycles, The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride, and donate to Mothers in need this Mother's Day!
Sun 11:30 AM Mamma Mia! Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket. Grab your ticket online or call for reservations today!
Sun 12 PM Mother's Day - Moms play for free! Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE Let Empire treat you to some free play time! If you're a mom, then come in this Sunday and play any of our 1,000 games without paying for table time on your special day
Sun 12 – 8 PM Mother's Day Seared Bistro, 119 San Pasquale Ave SW Brunch 12-3 PM (click link for full menu), Dinner 12-8 PM
Sun 1 – 5 PM Mother's Day in Old Town 2000 N. Plaza St. NW The City of Albuquerque presents this free event celebrates Mom on her special day in Old Town and features food, shopping, kids’ activities, and more. Enjoy live music on the Gazebo with performances by Nathaniel Krantz, Baila! Baila!, and Picoso. Grab a bite to eat from local food trucks Craft Q BBQ, Tikka Spice, and Pack’n Bowlz or enjoy a sit down meal from one of the Old Town restaurants. Eat, dance, and enjoy time with the family in Historic Old Town! (more info)
Sun 1 – 5 PM Animated Iris: Mother's Day Iris Show Albuquerque Garden Center, 10120 Lomas Blvd. NE Open to the Public. Free Admission. Public Invited to Submit Entries 8-9AM
Sun 2 – 5 PM May Swing Sanctuary Retreat Enchantment Ballroom, 337 San Pedro Dr. NE Do you love West Coast Swing? Do you compete or would you like to start competing? Have you been looking for a community of like-minded, supportive dancers to push your boundaries and empower you to reach your full dance potential? Join Melissa for The Swing Sanctuary Retreat, a competitors community focused gathering for those of us looking for a safe space to foster positive change in our dancing with like-minded community members. The only requirements to join are a positive attitude and having competed or planning to compete a West Coast Swing Jack and Jill within a year. If you competed at Rio Grande or are planning to compete at Dance Fiesta, those count! If you'd like to join the group but aren't sure about competing, let us know, we're happy to talk to you about it and help you plan an event within the next year, that's all it takes! This will be a regular monthly gathering. If you have any questions as to if this is a good fit for you and your goals, please let us know. Cost: $20
Sun 4 – 5:30 PM Paint Your Own Pot Mrs. Sprinkles Ice Cream, 3107 Eubank Blvd. NE Paint Night with Susan Gomez is your chance to grab your pals, the fam or just yourself and paint the night away. Have fun while creating lasting memories to take home and enjoy forever! Join us for my very first Paint Your Own Pot event! Mrs. Sprinkles is the newest addition to the charming Scottsdale Village Shopping Center. Come see the beautiful shop, have some fun with Mom or Grandma and have some amazing treats! What a wonderful way to spend Mother's Day! Enjoy buy one, get one half off the full menu that day! All supplies are included and all are welcome for this event. Seating is Limited. Please arrive a few minutes early for a 4pm start time. NO NEED TO PICK UP A TICKET AHEAD OF TIME, CHECK IN AT THE EVENT
Sun 6 – 9 PM Sunday Funday Karaoke Tractor Brewing - Wells Park, 1800 4th St. NW What brings the fun better then karaoke? Nothing! We got an all new night of karaoke for you singing addicts! Come amp up your Sunday Funday and sing a song with us! The Pop Up will be on hand serving up eats!