I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is still . She posted in and .
You can read the previous BORU's here and here. New Update marked with ****\* Thanks to u/Choice_Evidence1983 and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for letting me know!
Trigger Warning: brief mention of murder
Mood Spoiler: happy ending
Original Post: April 16, 2023
Throwaway because I have in-laws on Reddit.
Myself (25F) and my fiancé (27M) have a 2 month old son. We are overjoyed at being parents, but most of my in-laws are refusing to even see our baby because of a decision we made concerning his name.
My in-laws have a tradition of giving the first-born son of every generation the same name. Let's say it's "Peter". This has been going on for about seven generations already, and they're very serious about it. My fiancé's eldest cousin was the latest person to get named Peter. Every one of his cousins has only had daughters so far, so our baby is the first son of his generation, and consequently should get the name.
I have no problem with the name Peter, and would've been okay with naming my son that. Unfortunately, that was also the name of my uncle, who died before I was born. I won't get into details, but it was tragic and traumatizing for my family. My father never got over losing his younger brother.
My grandmother asked the family not to name any of our future children Peter during her lifetime. My MIL and FIL knew about this promise, and at first seemed to not only be okay with us avoiding the name Peter, but also supportive of the one we chose.
However, my grandmother sadly passed away when I was 7 months pregnant. We traveled for her funeral. On our last days there, my in-laws called to offer me their condolences. Then my MIL asked me if I was willing to "think about the name Peter now."
Suddenly, they were insistent that the name we chose was awful and we had to honor their tradition. According to them, they had only agreed to make an exception for us for my grandmother's sake, and had no obligation to keep it now that she had passed.
My family agrees that while it's true we don't have to avoid the name anymore, it still doesn't feel right to use it. My fiancé agrees with me as well, but his parents spent the last weeks of my pregnancy trying to convince us to change our minds about the name.
When our baby was born and we named him what we wanted, my in-laws were furious that we had broken a 7-generation-old family tradition. Some of them hadn't previously wanted to name their sons Peter, but did it anyway for the family's sake. They said our decision was selfish, and that my family "should have moved on by now."
This has truly nothing to do with whether my family has moved on or not, it just felt like a betrayal to my grandmother and uncle's memories to even consider using the name.
My FIL offered us $1000 to change our son's name to Peter after he was born. That was two months ago, and neither of my fiancé's parents have met the baby or seen us since I was pregnant. Most of my in-laws are on their side, and this is causing a huge rift between my fiancé and his family. He assures me he's fine, but I'm starting to feel really guilty about this.
AITA?
EDIT: The tradition started, as far as I know, when OG Peter died and his son, also named Peter, named his firstborn after his father. Peter III ended up having the first son of the following generation, and did the same thing. That one died before having children, so his sister gave the name to her son, and so on. The name “Peter” is very common in my country, so none of them ever got bullied over it, and the fact that it was also my uncle’s name isn’t as unlikely as one might think.
Also, middle names aren’t used in my country. Most people get the maternal surname before the paternal one instead.
EDIT 2: It wasn't 1000 dollars. Different country, different currency. It's still a lot of money, but would probably translate to about 200 USD.
Relevant Comments:
Can you use Peter as a middle name?"
Our country/culture doesn't generally use middle names. If we did, I'd be willing to think about that, even though my son's name doesn't match "Peter"."
How many Peters are alive right now in your family???"
There are 3 living "Peters" in the family right now. Only the eldest (my fiancé's great uncle) actually goes by Peter. The other two have nicknames ("Pete", "Petey", etc)."
OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 24, 2023 (a bit over 1 month later)
(OOP's post was removed from AITA, and reposted on her profile. I'm using the date of the AITA post. Comments are also from AITA)
I posted this on AITA, but it got removed about an hour ago because I mentioned a violent encounter on an edit. I tried editing it out and getting it back up, but it didn't work. I'm posting here in case anyone still wants to read it.
Original
Thank you so much to everyone who commented and offered support. A lot has happened since I posted, so I thought I'd give you an update.
About a week after my post, my fiancé's parents contacted us. They apologized for their behavior, and begged to meet my son. They said they were ready to leave the naming debacle behind and truly wanted to be involved in their grandson's life.
We were skeptical, but invited them over to meet the baby. The visit went well. They began coming over almost every day during the next three weeks. I noticed neither of them ever called my son by his name, but I didn't point it out. For the first time in months, things seemed good between my fiancé and his parents.
One day, my fiancé was helping my FIL with something at our place, so my MIL and I went to the park with my baby. Some time later, I had to go to the bathroom, so I left him in the stroller with her.
When I got back, she was sitting on a park bench, chatting with a woman who was cooing over my son. I went over there and introduced myself as "(son's name)'s mom", and she said, "I thought his name was Peter."
I didn't say a word, and neither did my MIL. She followed me to the car and we went back to my apartment. On the way there, I texted my fiancé about what had happened. The moment we got there, he kicked both his parents out of our place.
He'd read my texts and confronted his father. Thankfully, my FIL is a terrible liar, and confessed immediately. Apparently, both my in-laws ONLY call my son Peter. That includes whenever they're talking about him, every time they introduce him to someone else, and even baby-talking to him on the few occasions they were left alone with him. Neither of them are embarrassed by this, and they both think they're in the right.
We're heartbroken. Especially my fiancé. Not only because his parents can't let go of their pride, but also because the name we chose for our son means a lot to us both.
I blame myself for encouraging my fiancé to allow them near our son. I was raised in a different city than all my grandparents, and always wished they could have been more involved in my life. Losing my grandmother didn't help. Pretty much every doubt I had only existed because I thought it would be important for my son to grow up with all of his grandparents around.
But now, all my guilt is gone. If they can't respect my son enough to call him by his name, they don't deserve to be in his life.
I hope they enjoyed the three weeks they had with their grandson. Because that's all they're getting until they get their heads out of their asses.
EDIT: I thought I'd clarify some things. First of all, I'm not comfortable sharing my son's name here, but I promise it's not a "yooneek" name or anything like that. It's perfectly normal and popular-ish in our country.
Secondly, I mentioned this in the comments, but while my family didn't try to dictate me on my son's name, they would never be comfortable with it. My uncle Peter passed almost three decades ago, but it forever changed everyone who knew him. My grandmother's wish might seem a bit irrational, but it was motivated entirely by grief and it didn't seem right to disrespect that just because she's not around anymore.
And to whoever PM'd me that my fiancé's only on my side to keep the peace, he didn't want to use the name either. Months before I got pregnant, he told me he hoped one of his cousins would have a son before we did, because he always hated the tradition and sympathized with my family. He's just as angry at his parents as I am, if not more. Also, most of his cousins and some other relatives have come around and apologized.
Relevant Comments:
Are they this unhinged in other areas of your life too?"
According to my fiancé, they've always been a little entitled, but I never really saw them enough to be able to say that. I will say that, though they were polite, they very clearly didn't care about me until we moved in together. My MIL pretended not to remember my name every time she saw me, and my FIL would lose interest in any conversations that weren't about him. Once it was clear me and my fiancé were in for long term, they started acting a lot more friendly towards me, but it never seemed sincere."
Have other family members come around yet?"
Most of my fiancé's cousins have come around, and his brother was always on our side. His grandmother and some of his aunts and uncles are with us too. His grandfather (divorced from his grandmother), two out of three living Peters (the two oldest) and pretty much everyone else are either still mad at us or haven't reached out to talk about it yet.
My entire family is on my side. They promised not to interfere in the naming process, but are relieved we didn't name him Peter."
One more note on the $1000 offered in the first post:
"And that's $1000 in MY country's currency. It roughly translates to $200USD." (note- OOP clarifies in a comment that she is Brazilian)
OOP drops this horrible bombshell about her uncle, the one who died before she was born:
"My uncle was murdered. My grandmother's request was motivated by trauma."
"Again; my family would be mostly fine with naming my son Peter. My dad and my aunt might have been uncomfortable, and my grandmother asked us all not to do so, but I wouldn't have been disowned if I had. It simply felt disrespectful, especially since my grandmother passed shortly before my son was born.
My uncle's death was traumatic for my family, but the name Peter is hugely common in my country."
Update Post 2: July 28, 2023 (3 months from first post)
My son is now 5 months old (almost six!). We're still NC with my fiancé's parents, who haven't seen us since May. We've both blocked them everywhere. His relatives who were on our side still are, and most of the ones who weren't haven't come around. If anything, they're even more pissed now.
I remember someone suggesting that my fiancé's family might stop using the name after we decided not to. Well, you were right. Last week, one of my fiancé's cousins announced she was pregnant with a boy. She included her baby's name in the announcement, and it's not Peter.
What followed was a string of aggressive Instagram DMs from both MIL and FIL. They both created accounts for the sole purpose of contacting me. I didn't see them until two days later. They sent me almost an hour worth of voice messages about how I'd "ruined their family".
They wish their son had never met me, that he'd see me for "who I truly am", and that I'd never gotten pregnant. Many of the messages ended with "I hope you're happy now", as if they thought they were getting the last word, only to think of something else they wanted to say. There was name calling, an accusation of me cheating, and the persistent refusal to refer to my son as their grandchild.
My fiancé and I listened to the messages together. He hadn't gotten any. As much as I tried to distance myself, I was in tears by the time it was all done. I still don't regret anything, specially after the stunt they pulled back in May, but I'm not completely free of the guilt yet. Not to mention their complete disregard for their grandson. I was already having an overwhelming week, and this just seemed like the final straw.
I must have spent close to an hour sobbing in my fiancé's arms. Once I was calmer, he unblocked his parents just to scream at them for a while. I only heard his side of the conversation, but it was more than enough. He finished the call by saying he didn't want to hear from them again.
We had a long talk afterwards. My fiancé opened up about the emotional blackmail by his family before and after my pregnancy. My in-laws were close to threatening him with anything they could if we didn't name our son Peter. I told him about my guilt, and how awful I feel for putting him through this. We reassured each other, cried a bit more, and had a mostly pleasant evening with our baby.
We contacted his cousin. The family is giving her shit for breaking the tradition again. They're being way less aggressive though, and I think many of my in-laws are finally learning to let go. We're not expecting any apologies anytime soon, but we'll be glad if they come.
Our wedding will be in September 2024, and whoever doesn't give us a sincere apology until then is uninvited. My fiancé's parents are banned either way. We came to that decision together.
Also, I'd like to address some comments on my previous update about how I was "letting my family's trauma win", or how the name wouldn't be hurtful now that my grandmother has passed.
I can't stress enough the damage my uncle's death caused. He was only 30 years old. He had a fiancée, a great career and his whole life ahead of him. I don't know many details about what happened, because I didn't want to upset my family by asking. My grandmother wasn't the only person hurt by this, my entire paternal family was. And if I remember correctly, the person responsible isn't even in jail anymore. It was more than 20 years ago, but the wound never truly closed.
So yeah, I think it's safe to say the tradition is over. The next Not-Peter will be here in January, right before my son's first birthday. It was never my intention for this to turn into such a shitstorm, but I'm so incredibly proud of my little family.
Thank you so much to everyone who shared their stories and offered advice during these last few months. I'll be forever grateful for all the support I got from y'all.
*****New Update Post: May 13, 2024 (13 months from OG post, about 10 from last post)****\*
Hey everyone, it's been a while. I hope you guys had a great Mother's Day!
I remember that last year, I promised myself I'd write a final update as soon as I felt calmer or felt the situation was closer to being solved. That actually happened months ago, but I've been busy lately.
Following my previous update, my fiancé's side of the family remained upset about the tradition being over for a few more months. They were way less intense about it, specially with the pregnant cousin I mentioned, but it was still evident.
That cousin's Not-Peter (almost a year later, I still can't think of a better term) was born in January. Our son turned one the next month. I think the fact that these two things happened so close together helped many of my in-laws let go of the tradition.
We got a few apologies we weren't expecting. Some of them were sincere enough that we slowly started reestablishing contact.
My fiancé's parents were not among those who apologized. We haven't spoken to either of them since last July. From what I've heard from some of his other relatives, however, MIL seems regretful. She has told some of them that she wishes she could be part of her grandson's life, and wonders if making his name a hill to die on was a bad decision. FIL, from what I gather, barely acknowledges my baby exists.
My fiancé knows about how his mother feels, but he says he doesn't care. And even if we did get an apology, I don't think either of us can forgive his parents. As much as we're mostly okay now, it sometimes feels like their treatment of our family ruined the first few months of our baby's life. I know that's not actually true, but I don't want them around my child.
Besides all that, things have been great. My son is 15 months old now, which I don't think I'll ever really get used to. He recently started drawing and has been expanding his vocabulary. He said "mamãe" first, by the way.
My fiancé and I are still getting married in September. We're thinking about moving abroad in a couple years (for work reasons), but we're not sure yet. We also recently got a dog (sadly, we didn't name him Peter).
This will be my final update. Whatever guilt I had about this situation a year ago is completely gone, and my life has been peaceful enough that it feels safe to say the shitshow is over.
Hugo, if you ever find this, you are the most fantastic thing that has ever happened to us. Thank you for letting me be your mom.
Thank you, Reddit, for all the love, advice and support you've given me this past year.
Relevant Comment:
Commenter: Whilst this may be your final update on the naming sage, you said you are getting married in September 2024 and MiL&FiL aren't going to be invited.
Prepare for more craziness from them at that time and good luck :)

OOP: I really do think this is over. My fiancé's parents don't know when or where we're getting married, so I'm not worried about them showing up. They haven't reached out to us in months, and we have no interest in contacting them.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in AmItheAsshole
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 19th June 2023
Update - 18th May 2024
​
AITA for not moving my wedding date?
​
Not the A-hole My fiancé and I recently got engaged, and when looking at dates we realized our anniversary falls on a Saturday this year. Perfect right? We immediately start planning because it’s approximately 9 months out and we have to move quick to pull a wedding together. We told everyone the potential date this weekend and all seemed well.
Monday I get a phone call from my father. He insists that I move the date because my mother has a yoga retreat that weekend. I tell him that this date means a lot to me and I would prefer to keep it if there is any way to move the retreat. There is, but it’s expensive. I offer to pay for this change out of my wedding budget, essentially halving the amount that I can spend on the most important event of my life.
Yesterday I was told that they would not be taking my offer to pay to move the retreat and that we’re expected to move the wedding instead. I haven’t put money on my venue yet, so they think I should be fine with giving up the chance to marry on a date that means a lot to me. It became a massive fight, and now my parents and I aren’t speaking. My father accused me of caring about a date more than I care about my mother. I told him that it felt as though they were choosing yoga over their own daughter.
TLDR: wedding falls on the same day as moms yoga retreat. I haven’t put money down on the date yet and she has, but it means more to me than to her. Offers to pay to move the retreat were turned down. WIBTA if I keep my date and say that it’s me or the retreat?
​
Comments
​
imothro
Your parents are prioritizing a yoga retreat over your wedding? I told him that it felt as though they were choosing yoga over their own daughter. They 100% are. Have the wedding without them. NTA
​
Satogamii
And i would be petty and put on the photos why they weren't at the wedding. Op parents sucks. NTA.
​
z00k33per0304
Make them yoga poses too just for the extra flair.
​
apartment-flood
NTA - and the next time your parents invite you to something, tell them, "namaste at home"
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 11 months later
​
Hey everyone! It's been a while (I forgot my password), but a few people asked for updates on how my last post turned out. Unfortunately, a lot of you may not like the answer.
Almost all of you said not to change the date, and to enjoy my time without them there. I followed half of that advice. I eventually did relent to my family and change the date of the wedding. My fiancé (now husband!) said that the date wasn't as important as my happiness, and the fighting with my parents was destroying that. Now after six months, we both wish we hadn't because it was useless.
They still didn't show up. Not only that, but they convinced 90% of my family not to show up either. I ended up with only four relatives there in a crowd of about 100 guests.
My mother claimed that I had been "excluding her from planning" (by scheduling venue tours on days that my fiancé and I were both free but I didn't realize she was working, and by finding my dress by surprise on a "just here to look" trip without her being there). They hadn't shown any interest in planning, so I mainly didn't want to bother them. To them, this was "clearly a sign that you don't want us there". So they went out of town on the new date.
In the end, narcissist mother still got her yoga, I still moved my date, and I still walked myself down the aisle.
But my petty self did, in fact, strike back. I had an amazing time, and I made sure that I left obvious empty seats marked for them and told everyone the truth with a smile when they asked. The few family members that did show are now no longer speaking to them either, as are all of the friends who came. The only exception is my brother (who I'm pretty sure they asked to relay the details of the party to them), and even he has almost entirely cut them out due to how they've acted.
I haven't spoken to my mother since about a month before the wedding, when she told me to get all of my old things out of her house. I speak to my father very rarely, and only over things like deaths in the family. My in-laws have basically taken me in as their own, and I'm far happier than I ever was in the nightmare of a family I grew up with. Life is good.
TLDR: moved the date of the wedding so mom could go to yoga, parents still didn't show, had a better day without them than I would have with them there, finally cut contact with those narcissists
​
Comments
​
Even_Enthusiasm7223
Great for you, The next time you contact them in any manner or let them know anything about your life is after you give birth and send them an announcement. Hey, I just like you to know that you are the proud grandparents of a child you will never meet. That's being petty
​
floridaeng
My petty side says when or if you have kids don't do anything to tell them. I would even say don't tell your brother unless he promises to not tell them. They have clearly shown they don't care about you and don't want any contact, so give them what they want.
​
DragonMaster7433
Good on you for going either very low contact or no contact with them. I looked through your old posts and saw where they wanted you to join a dinner date with another family member shortly before the actual dinner while you were busy. It wild to me how they seem to want you to respect their time and plans but have absolutely no respect for your time and plans.
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

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❓ I am friendly and outgoing, but sometimes I need space. Am I INFJ or ENFJ?
📣 Social extraversion/introversion and cognitive extraversion/introversion are two different things. Jung managed his concepts and descriptions of different psychological phenomena and gave them different meanings from what we're familiar with. I know, it's confusing. But I'll do my best to clear up what he actually meant later on, so don't worry!
❓ Where are you getting all this information?
📣 Psychological Types, by Carl Jung. I also have Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type by Isabel Briggs Myers with Peter B. Myer, however, I am not fond of Myers-Briggs' interpretation of Jung's writings. In my opinion, it's an oversimplified version of types and functions, and she displayed an obvious intuitive bias in her book. Another book that's popular is Lectures on Jung's Typology by Marie-Louise von Franz, who also worked together with Jung to describe types and functions. However, be warned: by her own admission, she dislikes Fe-dom types and her description of ExFJ is rather insulting, so expect some bias as well.
Before we begin talking about what is ENFJ, we have to understand Jung's word salad and what he meant with all these concepts and descriptions. It takes a lot of patience and effort to understand Psychological Types, because as you may know (or not!), psychology is a relatively new science, and many of its roots come from philosophy, anthropology, and even religion. Jung refers to a lot of other authors, philosophers, and other literary figures to describe what he believed were "personality types".
What was the goal with all this? Well, Carl Jung was a Swiss psychoanalyst, and by associating certain patterns of behavior with different mental illnesses, he aimed to make their diagnosis easier for other psychiatrists. So, understandably, Psychological Types is full of technical language that may be hard to understand for anyone who isn't already familiar with the field of psychology. This is why a lot of other websites and other authors, while relying on Jung to describe types, tend to water down concepts and inevitably miss some important context that can't be properly explained until you take the effort to read the entire thing. That's why we have like 10 different descriptions of the same type or functions floating around.
Jung associated Fe-types like ENFJ or ESFJ with hysteria. Of course, this was back in the 19th century, and the target of this diagnosis was almost always women. Thankfully, it's no longer an official mental illness.
⚠️ An important consideration: most of the original texts that laid the foundation for MBTI to exist are from the early 19th century. Expect a lot of sexism and traditional gender roles.

"It may seem superfluous to the reader if I add a special chapter on definitions of terms to the text of my study. However, I have had ample experience of the fact that it is precisely in psychological works that one cannot be careful enough with terms and expressions, since it is precisely in the field of psychology, as nowhere else, that the greatest variations of terms occur, which often give rise to the most stubborn misunderstandings." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 476).

I will not be listing every single concept, because it'd take the entirety of this post and even more to explain what everything means. I'll list the most common ones that show up when describing types.
🫂 Extravertion and Intravertion:

"If we look at the course of a human life, we see how the destinies of one person are more conditioned by the objects of his interests, while the destinies of another are more conditioned by his own inner being, by his subject. As we all deviate somewhat more to one side or the other, we are naturally inclined to understand everything in terms of our own type." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 4)

As I said before, extraversion and introversion have different meanings in this area, so when we talk about an extraverted type, we mean to say that it's a type whose dominant function is an extraverted one. To understand better what is an extraverted function, we need to have two vital concepts in mind: subject and object.
🌎 The object, in this concept, is anything that exists outside your mind: it may be the world, it may be people, it may be experiences, it may be sensations, anything that is not inherently part of you. It may be what's happening in your environment, or the environment in itself. It's the external, that which exists without needing any additional interpretation or guessing.
👤 The subject is you. Your mind, your feelings, your values, your logic, your impressions, your subjective interpretation of ideas or people or what's happening around you. Anything that is purely personal, be it your inner understanding of how things fit together, your interpretation of a painting, your like or dislike of a song, etc. Your subjective experiences or thoughts, that's the subject.
In a way, it's you, the subject vs. the world, the object. Of course, there's much more to this, but this is the easiest way I can explain it. You'll see these two concepts popping around because they're the very foundation of functions.

"But every human being possesses both mechanisms, extraversion and introversion, and only the relative predominance of one or the other determines the type." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 5).

Extraversion and Introversion, as I was saying before, are defined by what's your disposition towards the external world vs. the inner self. If your decisions are mostly influenced by what's happening outside your mind, then we are talking about an extrovert. If your decisions are influenced by your own inner world, regardless of what's happening outside of it, then we talk about an introvert.

"If the orientation towards the object and the objectively given prevails in such a way that the most frequent and most important decisions and actions are not conditioned by subjective views but by objective conditions, we speak of an extraverted attitude. If this is habitual, we speak of an extraverted type. If someone thinks, feels and acts, in a word, lives in a way that directly corresponds to objective circumstances and their requirements, in both a good and a bad sense, then they are extraverted. He lives in such a way that it is obvious that the object as a determining factor plays a greater role in his consciousness than his subjective view. Certainly he has subjective views, but their determining power is less than that of external objective conditions." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (pp. 384-385).

It's important to know that Jung initially described only four functions: Feeling, Thinking, Intuition, and Sensing. These functions would be either extraverted or introverted depending on how they relate to the external, objective world vs. the inner, subjective world. For example, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) is an extraverted feeling function because it favors the external feeling environment over more personal, subjective feelings that only belong to the subject.
In contrast, the introvert prefers to make decisions based on their inner self, on their personal views and convictions, regardless of what's happening around them. Someone whose function is introverted will not value the outside world a lot, and feels like is a threat to them:

"The introvert has an abstract attitude towards the object; basically, he is always anxious to withdraw his libido from the object, as if he had to prevent the object from overpowering him." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 380).

Now that we have some basic concepts cleared out, I hope understanding the Extraverted Feeling type is a bit easier. I want to start by how Jung described Fe:

"Feeling in the extraverted attitude is oriented towards the objectively given, i.e. the object is the indispensable determinant of the way of feeling. It is in accordance with objective values. Whoever knows feeling only as a subjective fact will not readily understand the nature of extraverted feeling, because extraverted feeling has freed itself as far as possible from the subjective factor and has instead subjected itself entirely to the influence of the object." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 411).

❗️We have to understand here that feelings are not emotions. Under this context, feeling is what we either accept or reject, what we value or not, how do we feel about something. An emotion, in this context, is something that causes a bodily response: if you feel angry, your heartbeat increases, your arms shake, and your face turns red. If you feel sad, you'll start crying and shaking. If you feel happy, your heartbeat increases and you smile. In contrast, just liking or disliking something may or may not make you react in any way. For example, let's say that you have an intense dislike of a celebrity. You don't start shaking and crying just because you dislike that celebrity. But what if you're a fan of a certain band? If you listen to one of their songs, you may start feeling happy. In both of these cases, we have two concepts floating around: a "feeling" (disliking a celebrity or liking a band) and an "emotion" that may be a reaction to that feeling (feeling happy when listening to your favorite band).
Feeling types usually have this misconception going around that we're emotional wrecks and can't think logically. This misunderstanding comes from the confusion that Feeling means being emotional. And while a feeling can give rise to an emotion, it's not emotion in itself, these are two different things. To put it simply: Feelings are values, and emotions are reactions to those values.
Now, to continue on how Jung described Fe, he gave a great example of how this type of Feeling is influenced by the outside world:

"I can feel compelled to use the predicate "beautiful" or "good", not because I find the object "beautiful" or "good" out of subjective feeling, but because it is appropriate to call it "beautiful" or "good"; and appropriate insofar as a judgment to the contrary would somehow disturb the general emotional situation. Such an appropriate emotional judgment is by no means a simulation or even a lie, but an act of fitting in. Thus, for example, a painting may be called "beautiful" because a painting hung in a salon and signed with a well-known name is generally assumed to be "beautiful", or because the predicate "ugly" could offend the family of the happy owner, or because the intention on the part of the visitor is to create a pleasant emotional atmosphere, for which it is necessary that everything is felt to be pleasant. Such feelings are directed according to objective determinants. As such, they are genuine and represent the entire visible feeling function." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (pp. 411-412).

A common misunderstanding surrounding Fe, and by extension Fe types, is that Fe is by nature insincere and fake, and that we're double-faced and superficial. But I think of it differently: if your friend got a bad haircut and they look terrible, is it dishonest to say that it isn't that bad if it comes from an honest intention of not wanting to hurt their feelings over something they can't change? Do you always need to tell people what you think, regardless of how it may affect them? I think honesty without kindness is just cruelty.
But, moving on!

"The evaluations made through the act of feeling correspond either directly to objective values or at least to certain traditional and generally accepted standards of value. It is largely due to this kind of feeling that so many people go to the theater or to a concert or to church with properly measured positive feelings. It is also to thank for the fashions, and what is far more valuable, the positive and widespread support of social, philanthropic and other cultural endeavors. In these things, extraverted feeling proves to be a creative factor. Without this feeling, for example, beautiful and harmonious sociability is unthinkable. In this respect, extraverted feeling is just as beneficial and rational a power as extraverted thinking." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 412)

To me, Fe represents that desire for human connection, to feel community, to think about others. We live in an age where hyperindividualism is encouraged everywhere, to care about yourself only, to isolate and disregard anyone who doesn't make you feel good. If that kind of mindset is pushed constantly by corporations and influencers, a lot of people will have a hard time understanding something like Fe, since it opposes everything hyperindividualism stands for. It's frustrating, but I think it's also not surprising to see a lot of people in the MBTI community having an intense dislike of Fe types, especially Fe-dom types, because of this. The idea that only you, as an individual, matter, is so prevalent that for some people, caring about something other than yourself is just dumb.
⚠️ Another thing to take in mind is that Jung determines the dominant function by what we value the most. By this, it means that your intention is what matters, not the results. For example, a socially awkward person can be an ENFJ as long as they value the outside feeling environment over everything else, no matter how clumsy they may be at it. We tend to think of ENFJ as mind-readers, masters of socialization, or community leaders, and it certainly can be the case! But, just as the ENFJ can be a well-loved, charismatic therapist, it can also be the nervous shrinking violet who awkwardly tries to please people around them. We often make the mistake of measuring someone's preference of a function by how "skilled" they are at it, by how much positive results come from them using that function, when in reality, you can be an absolute dimwit and still be a Ti-dom. Your dominant function is always the one that dictates your decisions, regardless of the results of those decisions.
Now, as with all functions, Extraverted Feeling has its dark side.

"However, this beneficial effect is lost as soon as the object gains excessive influence. In this case, the overly extraverted feeling draws the personality too much into the object, i.e. the object assimilates the person, whereby the personal character of the feeling, which is its main stimulus, is lost. This makes the feeling cold, objective and untrustworthy. It betrays a secret intention, or at least arouses such suspicions in the unbiased observer. It no longer makes that pleasant and refreshing impression which always accompanies a genuine feeling, but one senses posturing or acting, when perhaps the egocentric intention is still quite unconscious." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (pp. 412-413).

It's possible to care too much. When Fe gains excessive influence over the psyche, it places so much value on harmonious relationships that it comes at the detriment of the subject. Unhealthy Fe demands that you adapt to every single social environment, to make sure to please everyone, and to sacrifice your personhood in favor of the external feeling world. This is why the unhealthy Fe user comes across as fake and dishonest: it's impossible to be a different person to fit in with different social settings without sacrificing your integrity.

"Since situations in life constantly alternate with one another, triggering different or even contrasting emotional tones, the personality dissolves into just as many different feelings. One time you are one thing, the next time something completely different - apparently, because in reality such a diversity of personality is impossible." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 415).

When we talk about types turning unhealthy or acting in erratic or destructive ways, we also have to talk about their inferior function. After all, is your inferior function that keeps your dominant function in check, so to speak. Your inferior function is a sensible counterpart that, while it opposes your dominant function, it provides a different perspective, like another voice that says "yes, but..." to anything you say. This is the role of Introverted Thinking (Ti).
❗️Contrary to popular belief, inferior Ti is not when you lack intelligence, logic, or intellect. To begin with, Thinking isn't related to intelligence. It can lead to it, but just like Feeling can lead to emotions, it ultimately isn't emotions in itself. In the same way, Thinking can lead to intelligence, but it isn't intelligence in itself. It's a process of thought, not the result of that thought. For example, you can think about a math problem, but that thinking may not necessarily lead to a correct answer.
The relationship between the dominant function and the inferior function is the most important one. If the balance between the two functions is disturbed, it leads to destructive or toxic behaviors, or as how Jung called it, neurosis. So what is the relationship between Ti and Fe?

"You can only feel "right" if nothing else disturbs your feelings. But nothing disturbs feeling as much as thinking. It is therefore easy to understand why thinking is suppressed as much as possible in this type of person. This is by no means to say that such a woman does not think at all; on the contrary, she may think a great deal and very intelligently, but her thinking is never sui generis, but an epimetheic appendage of her feeling. As far as feeling permits, she can think very well, but any conclusion, however logical, which might lead to a result disturbing to feeling, is rejected a limine. It is simply not thought." Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 414)

Thinking is the opposing force to Feeling. And for a type that values Feeling the most, it's only to be expected that it tries to suppress Thinking the most. If a logical thought has the power to disturb the social harmony, the average or unhealthy ENFJ will do their best to pretend it isn't there. But it's impossible to completely suppress a part of your mind. The thoughts that you're desperately trying to push away, will always come back in different forms:

"Unconscious thinking reaches the surface in the form of ideas, often of an obsessive nature, whose general character is always negative and devaluing. There are therefore moments in women of this type when the worst thoughts attach themselves to the very objects that the feeling values most highly. Negative thinking makes use of all infantile prejudices or comparisons that are suitable for casting doubt on the value of feelings, and it draws on all primitive instincts in order to be able to explain feelings as "nothing but". Jung, Carl. Psychological Types (p. 417).

By this, Jung means that the suppressed Ti will leak out in the form of harsh criticism, prejudice, or comparing people according to unreasonable expectations of them, destroying the previously positive feelings about them. Basically, Ti will turn destructive, making the usually pleasant ENFJ assume the worst out of someone.
All of the above paints a picture of a dishonest, paranoid, and troubled ENFJ. They're desperate to win people over, to make everyone happy, but they have lost themselves in this desire and sacrificed their integrity to the point they sound hollow, they lack substance, and the more they try, the less convincing they are. At the same time, their inferior Ti makes them think all sorts of terrible things about the people around them, and they start doubting their relationships and the sincerity of the people they love.
🫂 I will be making a part two later describing Ni from Jung's perspective and how to tell ENFJ and INFJ apart. Ni is kind of tricky to describe, especially as an auxiliary function, but I'm sure it'll help a lot of people who may be confused about their type! Also, the majority of what I described above can be applied to the ENFJ's sensor counterpart, ESFJ. And as I said before, Jung only described four functions and eight personality types, which later expanded to 16 personality types under Myers-Briggs system, therefore there isn't a "function stack" to speak of right now, but I can do my best to describe the closest thing we have to it from Psychological Types.
I hope this was helpful. Thank you for reading! 💖

Hi all - I hope this is allowed!
I'm going to Park Jeup's Fanmeet in Tokyo this weekend. The organizers said there will be a box to submit letters/gifts so I thought it would be nice to bring messages from international fans who can't attend.
If you want me to bring your message to Jeup please submit via the form below. I will print them all out and take it to the fancon! Please note that I can't translate anything though (if anyone wants to offer translations that would be nice as well)
Feel free to share and thank you
Google form to submit messages

So I 16 M, have had a slew of friends over my life so far, I have another friend close to my age ( who’s online and care about dearly, also fyi , hes bi I’m gay, and I have low self esteem trust issues and high anxiety so I over think a lot ) . We’ve been growing distant lately, since they got out of a relationship , with a guy that manipulated them into thinking they were younger ( the guy was 22 ). Since then I haven’t been doing much Rp stuff, like SCP and military rp ( because that what they like same as I ) and I kinda stopped playing because it reminded me of that ex of there’s because of how shit they treated my friend. Bit recently I’ve been getting into a slew of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, over a guy that manipulated me to date him, then him telling me it was a cruel pranks to get me away from him, when he invited me on a date to his band concert. And in that slew , some of my attacks have been for my friend ( where we will call H ) mainly because we’ve grown so distant, and we’ve talked in the past , but they are also mainly super busy with the Rps ( they’re also in JROTC or ROTC ) . Yesterday after noon ( it’s 12:38 am where I am ) I sent a letter how I felt, and in a short term they said back, of how they care about me a lot too, and busy with life in general, and scared about possibly being trans ( because I genuine and scared of woman because I was SA by my sister when I was younger ) and how we don’t don’t much activity wise anymore, but they do still very much over me and hope I improve getting better. They also told me that they had to crush someone they liked ( like a partner ) and I got overthinking, about it because of the sensitive stuff I said in the letter I wrote. And they have more confidence in that guy that manipulated him than that guy he just told me about. Which got me overthinking on over drive. Which I hate doing all the time. They also know I like them too and im also like a big brother they never had ( from Alabama though but we do love eachother in both ways ). And they fear if we do ever date they’d lose that closeness ( even though we’ve uhhh, done some stuff together ). Anywhom I got school but I’m probably gonna stayed , gn people.

My LH passed away unexpectedly 6 months ago. His cousin, who he was not particularly close to, got married this past weekend. After his passing, I wasn’t sure if I should attend since we weren’t particularly close, and I also didn’t want to be the downethe worse reality “look, your spouse could die shortly after your wedding too.” However, when the wedding invitation came I was included with my in laws, as in addressed to all three of us. I felt like that was kind of rude. I ultimately chose not to attend because of my previous thoughts and offered to watch my nephew so my BIL could attend, as it was also a child free wedding. When my BIL returned and we were discussing the wedding, he mentioned that they had a picture of my husband displayed. I asked what picture, as this was news to me, and it was a picture from our wedding of him in his wedding suit. I later spoke to my in laws, and they said they were informed about it late last week and were initially sad over the idea, but decided they came to peace with it. I was never consulted, no effort was even made for me to attend this wedding, no calls or texts, yet a picture of my husband from our wedding was displayed. I understand displaying immediate family, grandparents, etc, but not a cousin and also not when the spouse is not even in attendance. To make it worse, my in laws were never going to mention it to me, from when they were informed to after the wedding, I had to bring it up. I feel so many feelings about this, but don’t know if they are valid or just my grief overtaking me.

Hello, this is a new account I made for this, as it's something that I've kind of been left simmering with, with no real network of support. For some context, I have autism, and anxiety, amongst a couple of other things that can affect the way I interact with people negatively, and I am receiving the appropriate professional help for that, but this is still something to factor in with how I'm feeling, so it would be irresponsible(?) not to mention it, if I'm intent on providing the full picture here.
I (18, NB) go to University, and I have a relatively large circle of friends that I have accumulated here throughout my first year, which on the surface level seems great. It seems that now we're in the final term of the year though, with stressful exams looming over our heads, people's true colours have started to emerge. I find myself in a difficult position where the behaviours of my friends have, at times, caused me to feel resentful toward them. I simultaneously feel really bad for feeling this way, and think myself a bit of an AH for being this way.
Recently, I noticed more and more that being friends with these people, for me, felt like an uphill battle that I was losing. It wasn't everyone in the group, but I would start getting invited to things directly less and less, people would go places without me, and I just felt really left out. I did try to kindly bring this up to a couple of them, and received promising-sounding apologies, but I didn't receive the changed behaviour one would hope for with a genuine apology. I would use forms of communication I learned in therapy, "non-violent" communication: you state what you see, without assigning blame, explain how it makes you feel, break that down into a need that hasn't been met, and suggest an alternative action that can be made to make sure that need is met in the future. With my friends, I feel like they've been hearing me, but haven't listened. This really hurts, as they know I have little to no support at home, so they're the only platonic support network I have, and half the time they won't even pick the phone up to talk to me.
Recently, though, it's gotten petty, and has involved someone else- and this had left a really bad taste in my mouth.
I know it isn't my battle to fight in terms of the way people are speaking about my friend, but it has bothered me, because I can't deal with childish gossip like this, especially when the person being spoken of hasn't really done anything that wrong. My friend, 'A', started seeing someone a couple of months ago, and ever since that relationship began, I noticed that my friends increasingly began to complain that they weren't there, and that they would instead spend time with their partner. If it wasn't that, it would be complaining about how much 'A' texted their partner, and not any of them. Sure, it makes 'A' seem ignorant, but they aren't being entirely fair with their criticism there. First of all, isn't it normal to want to text a romantic partner more than friends? Everyone communicates in a different way, but I would hope the person you're being the most emotionally intimate with would be spoken to more than a group of friends, surely. It just seems like common sense to me. Even so, its not like 'A' is ignorant. We're all adults doing 'grown-up' degrees. 'A' turns their phone off during work, so that they can get on with it, also perfectly reasonable behaviour. Even with this, they will still usually get back to a person within the hour the message was sent, so they're a very dependable friend, as well.
The main issue that our group of friends have had was with 'A' being a bit tone-deaf to the feelings of others, and even this wasn't that bad. One friend was complaining about a grade they got, and all 'A' said was, 'if you went to lectures and studied more, you would have been fine'. I get where they were coming from being upset by this, but they also made clear it hadn't really gone any further than this, and it's ironic to me that they complain that this friend can't understand how they hurt others, when they have been doing the exact same, if not worse right back.
This all sort of blew up in my face in terms of how I was feeling about it when 'A' invited me on a night out, and introduced me to some of their own friends outside of our shared group. They knew I had been having a rough time, and wanted to have a good night with me, making sure I was keeping my head above water and all. On the walk back though, I started thinking about some of the things that the others had been saying about 'A', and I felt bad, it felt wrong to just sit on all of that resentment(?) towards my friend, when they had only done one thing particularly wrong. I told them what the others had been saying about them, and 'A' wasn't surprised or anything, it just opened up a dialogue with them about the state of their friendships with everyone.
The jist of what they said about the others went something like this "To be honest, I'm getting bored of them, they're good people, but they never leave their rooms, never communicate, they kind of just stay holed up and watch series together, which isn't my thing. As well as that, I had an idea that they all disliked me in some way, and it doesn't really bother me to find out the truth about them either. Something that does, though, and I noticed this with you as well, is that our friends will almost take advantage of us. They'll come round for the promise of free drinks, free spaces to host parties and stuff like that, when they know we're the poorest two out of the nine of us. I mean (friend's name) still owes me money from laundry, and the same friend took two weeks to pay you back for a favour, when you needed it. I also don't like how some of the girls go on and on about being middle class, it feels a bit like a slap to the face, I'm sure you can also relate on that one."
'A' was right, it had been something that I didn't realise was bothering me, I always lamented the fact that I couldn't have the same interests as them, such as ice-skating, or dancing lessons, or theatre, because of the fact that I didn't have the same opportunities, financially, to have access to those kinds of things growing up. That's not their fault at all, but the fact that the same friends won't indulge in stuff that I do find fun, something simple, like a video games night, or a craft night, is a bit more conceited on their part, I think. Sometimes, it almost feels as if they're better than me? They have been encouraging for me to take part in the same stuff they like now that "I have the means to" (I don't), but it still feels a little patronising, like they were encouraging a toddler or a young child to play nicely.
Their behaviour toward both me and 'A' was troubling, to say the least, they would minimise problems, with the whole 'sorry to hear that, it'll get better', but make a big deal out of others' problems, it was that night that I found out 'A''s father was still sick, and I felt awful for not really asking before. They would sometimes make fun of our accents, which is more of a classist thing, we're mostly from the same country. Hell, they even made fun of 'A' for their last relationship going badly, calling them a bad partner for being uncommunicative, it cannot be any wonder that 'A' would throw themselves into this new one.
I called them out the next day when they began to talk negatively about 'A' while they weren't there, and just said that their assumptions about our friend weren't fair, and it wasn't fair to talk about them while they weren't here. I got told to calm down, and that the whole time they had been joking. It didn't seem much like a joke?
I do like these people, a lot, but I'm at a bit of a crossroads here, there are things about them that do make me a bit upset, but these same people have literally, on occasion, held my hand in the hospital before. I do appreciate these people, but I wish that they were more receptive to the things I, and other's say. It's been a shame to see 'A' pull away like this, and I'm not sure what I can realistically do to help the situation at this point, since gossip will only breed more. I'm just a bit exhausted with some of these people.

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Next week's Steam releases

2024-05-20 - 2024-05-26

Game	Date	Followers	Gloss	Additional	OP
Fight To The Death	May 26	2391	horde survivor	Demo, Early access
C.A.R.D.S. RPG: The Misty Battlefield	May 22	1801	deckbuilder	Demo
Coffee Caravan	May 20	1473	restaurant management	Demo
Zet Zillions	May 23	1070	deckbuilder
Harvest Hunt	May 22	915	first-person survival horror
Necromantic	May 22	383	horde survivor	Early access, Multiplayer (online)
The Detective Reaper Invites	May 25	305	card game, deduction
Dethroned	May 26	243	auto-battler	Demo, Early access
Ruiga Pirates	May 24	183	horde survivor	Early access
Tiny Breakers Camp	May 21	148	breakout	Demo
Margoq's Lair	May 20	66	top-down	Demo
Repin Develop Casual	May 25	32	various	Free, Demo, Multiplayer (local/online)	-
Kong's Wrath: City of Mayhem	May 23	31	3rd person		-
RollScape	May 22	20	dice		-
Magic Venue	May 20	15	horde survivor	Early access, Multiplayer (local)
RGB Rush 2	May 20	12	puzzle		-
Sentinel of Innocence	May 26	8	horde survivor, defense		-
Frog 'n' Roll	May 26	7	top-down		-
Ruiga Pirates: Cursed Seas	May 24	6	horde survivor, demo	Free
3D PUZZLE - Old Sea Port	May 21	5	false tag		-
Keep Health!	May 24	5	horde survivor	Early access	-
Hidden Haunted Town Top-Down 3D	May 20	4	false tag		-
Snatched	May 20	3	card game	Early access
3D PUZZLE - Hospital 2	May 21	3	false tag		-
Dungeon Gunner	May 26	3	top-down	Free
Assassin's Alliance	May 20	2	puzzle	Non-English	-
Chaser of Light	May 20	2	runner		-
mageVScastle	May 26	2	avoider	Non-English	-
Hidden FPS Shooting Top-Down 3D	May 20	1	false tag		-

Previous week's releases not on previous week's list

2024-05-13 - 2024-05-19

Game	Date	Followers	Gloss	Additional	OP
RUNGORE	May 16	4990	real-time deckbuilder	Demo, Left early access
Wantless : Solace at World’s End	May 16	3519	turn-based tactical	Demo, Left early access
What the Fog	May 14	1577	3PS	Multiplayer (online)	-
StarCrawlers Chimera	May 13	1298	1st person turn-based	Left early access
Dungeon Looter	May 13	863	top-down	Multiplayer (online), Left early access
Random Legion	May 13	401	auto-battler	Demo
Cento	May 15	233	deckbuilder, rhythm	Demo
Revelatio	May 16	137	turn-based tactical	Demo
Prescience	May 15	110	deckbuilder	Demo, Left early access
Doors & Loot	May 12	104	top-down	Demo, Left early access	-
CyberHoney	May 13	98	turn-based tactical
Goetita: Turn-based City	May 13	71	turn-based tactical	Left early access	-
Shogun Curse	May 17	68	deckbuilder	Early access
Kingdom of Arcana	May 16	37	top-down
MechCrisis	May 13	35	top-down, horde survivor	Demo, Early access
Dream Survivors	May 17	33	horde survivor	Early access, Multiplayer (online)
Khuga Bash!	May 17	29	top-down	Early access	-
Poker Dungeon : Joker's Madness	May 16	24	deckbuilder, poker	Early access
Beyond the Chiron Gate	May 13	21	text adv
Pigeon Ascent	May 18	19	auto-battler		-
Gooner on the Orient Express	May 15	16	clicker, adult
Celestial Contact	May 16	13	top-down		-
Beasties of Greenhollow	May 13	11	turn-based sides	Demo	-
Little Fire Girl Fights Final Boss / 小火女掉站终极Boss!	May 18	11	top-down
Mystic Labyrinth	May 12	8	top-down	Early access	-
The Dungeons Of Algoduul	May 13	8	top-down	Early access	-
Hexton	May 17	8	puzzle
Parking Expert!	May 17	8	driving		-
Mr Snuggles Dungeon Adventure	May 16	6	top-down	Demo	-
MOON THIRST	May 13	5	top-down?		-
小小英雄生存	May 14	5	horde survivor	Early access, Non-English	-
Black Dungeon	May 16	3	turn-based sides	Non-English	-

Previous week's free and demo releases

2024-05-13 - 2024-05-19

Game	Date	Followers	Gloss	Additional	OP
Withering Rooms	May 13	5426	horror, sidescroller	Demo
VOIN	May 14	2750	1st person	Demo
Tower Factory	May 15	1108	tower defense, automation	Demo
Endless Forest Dream	May 13	981	adult, top-down	Demo
攻城与召唤 Siege and Summons 【5分钟一局 策略竞技 】	May 17	873	turn-based tactical	Free, Non-English, Multiplayer (unspecified)
Enter the Chronosphere	May 12	717	turn-based tactical (non-grid)	Demo
Mini Airways: Prologue	May 13	647	management, demo	Free
Boons & Burdens	May 14	640	horde survivor	Demo, Early access
Warden's Will	May 13	599	3PS	Demo, Multiplayer (online)
Artifact Seeker:Paladin	May 13	493	horde survivor, demo	Free
Untraveled Lands: Chantico	May 13	351	management, card game	Demo
Tax-Force	May 13	272	sidescroller	Demo
Museum No.9	May 17	196	management, top-down	Demo
Rain Tactics	May 12	142	turn-based tactical	Demo
Sodaman	May 15	141	top-down, horde survivor	Demo
Little Angels : Maid Survivors	May 15	134	horde survivor	Demo
Degenheim	May 13	91	top-down	Free, Demo, Early access
Witching Stone	May 17	90	puzzle, deckbuilder	Demo
Touhou Flower Fight	May 16	88	deckbuilder	Free, Multiplayer (online)
Fix Fixer	May 13	78	top-down	Demo
DeadBlitZ	May 12	63	FPS	Demo
Dala and the Cursed Forest	May 12	60	deckbuilder	Demo
Dog And Goblin	May 12	51	auto-battler, puzzle	Demo
The Book of Warriors 2:Reborn	May 13	40	turn-based tactical	Demo
The Gun is Good	May 13	39	top-down, horde survivor	Demo
元卡牌2 - MetaCard2	May 19	37	deckbuilder, auto-battler	Demo
Wandness	May 13	36	horde survivor	Demo
Forsaken Frontiers	May 13	35	1st person, horror	Demo, Early access, Multiplayer (online)
Zombie Rollerz: The Last Ship - Prologue	May 16	35	defense, horde survivor, demo	Free
Cube Hero Odyssey	May 18	34	top-down	Free, Early access
Ammossum	May 12	32	top-down	Demo
Dice Captain	May 16	32	dice	Demo
Gilded Eternal	May 12	30	sidescroller	Demo	-
Letter Lancers	May 12	28	horde survivor?	Demo, Early access, Multiplayer (local)
Smash Bear	May 13	28	top-down	Demo
Chamberflame	May 13	27	top-down	Demo, Early access
LANISTA: Shadows and Dust	May 13	26	turn-based tactical	Demo
Neon Village	May 14	23	puzzle, deckbuilder	Demo
Eldritch Climb	May 16	23	sidescroller	Demo, Early access
Crystal Survivor	May 12	22	horde survivor	Demo
Ark of The Kosmoz	May 15	22	top-down	Demo, Early access
Cats Kill Zombies	May 18	22	top-down	Demo
SOS: Forgotten Planet	May 13	21	1st person, horror, morse code	Demo
Neverseas	May 14	19	3rd person?	Demo
Rebel!: Prologue	May 14	19	top-down, demo	Free	-
Slasho	May 13	17	mousing	Demo, Early access
Hell Miners	May 13	16	sidescroller	Free	-
ULTIMATE ARMORED TURBODRIFTER ~ SaGa Chapter 2 ~【TANK AUTHORITY WOLFRAM】	May 17	16	driving	Demo
Eclipse Breaker	May 13	15	real time movement turn-based attacks	Demo
Healed To Death	May 13	15	auto-battler	Demo
Two Sides of Hell	May 16	14	sidescroller		-
TORSO TENNIS	May 13	13	auto-battler	Demo
Roll Five	May 14	12	dice-builder	Demo
Bad Mechanic	May 13	11	tower defense	Demo
Pinball Blitz	May 13	11	pinball	Demo
Priest With a Gun	May 16	11	horde survivor	Free	-
Ghost Ascension	May 14	10	sidescroller, horde survivor	Demo
组装飞船(modified spaceship)	May 15	9	horde survivor	Free
In Search of Heroes!	May 12	8	top-down	Demo, Early access	-
Echoes of the Abyss	May 16	8	top-down	Demo
Undead Onslaught	May 16	8	horde survivor	Demo, Early access
Helios Horizon	May 18	8	horde survivor?	Demo	-
Body Count	May 14	7	top-down	Demo
Spice Odyssey	May 14	6	puzzle, restaurant	Demo
Yee-Haw!!	May 17	5	horde survivor	Demo	-
Void Foundation: Into The Void	May 15	4	turn-based sides	Demo, Early access	-
Pin To Win	May 16	4	pachinko	Demo
Thor's Legacy	May 13	3	deckbuilder	Demo
Ameena: Witchborn Duelist	May 15	3	deckbuilder	Demo
星河防线	May 18	3	tower defense	Multiplayer (online)

Games selected automatically by Steam tags (roguelite and roguelike). Follower count taken from Steam (it's the size of the game's community group, wishlist counts are not public). Gloss column guesses made by poster. OP column is a vague, biased opinion from OP's brief time with the store page.