Asian girls chloroformed

AsianTikTokGirls

2020.10.06 06:02 throaway1201 AsianTikTokGirls

A subreddit to post TikToks of Asian girls!
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2019.10.02 23:09 Anyohaseyo AesPleasingAsianGirls

Social influencers, models, celebrities, music artists, entertainers & ordinary people who are APAGs (aesthetically pleasing asian girls)
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2023.06.07 13:25 CommunicationOwn1196 AsianGirlsBJs

welcome to the community of asian girls to the world
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2024.06.02 19:29 Adept_Surprise8267 22 [M4F] INTJ Dublin, Ireland - Irishman looking for cute brunette

Hi everyone, my name is Tom and I am from Dublin, the capital of Ireland. I am in my final year of uni doing chemistry. I also work part time in my dad's salon. When I am not studying, I play on my Nintendo Switch, go on walks in the park or around the block, watch videos or listen to music on YouTube and sometimes play chess and go skiing and travelling on city breaks, where I love taking pictures! I am also learning how to drive.
I am looking for someone who is in my age range and has similar interests as me. I am also looking for someone who I can game with from time to time and is into Nintendo games. I am mainly looking for someone in Ireland but I'm open to long distance. My preferred type of girl is someone who is in good shape i.e. slim/thin and not plus sized, is brunette, white or Asian and ideally doesn't drink much and smoke. Also, someone who doesn't have piercings or tattoos. Glasses are fine too. If you are going to message me, I'd prefer if you send me a picture of what you look like. That way, I know that you have read my post. If I like what I'll see, then we can continue chatting. If the conversation is good, we can move off Reddit and chat on a different platform. I have Facebook, WhatsApp and Discord.
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2024.06.02 19:18 ThrowRV123 What type of guy is this?

What kind of guy (M32) is this? I (F30) am confused after he dumped me out of blue.
In a nutshell, we were together for less than 2 years and he dumped me because of his mom’s disapproval due to my seizure, which he had disclosed to his parents at the time he was ready to propose. Initially his parents knew I don’t drive due to a traumatic car accident. Per what he told me, his dad was fine while his mom commented something along the line, “There are so many girls out there. Reconsider her.”
He and I didn’t have a final communication before he made his final decision. At that point, I knew he was done with me. He had been very caring throughout the time we were together and we barely argue. At that point when he came over to my place to tell me his decision, I already knew he was going to break up with me…my instinct was right. He himself even had seen me having episodes while we hung out and it wasn’t as complicated as how others perceive what a seizure is. There are different types of seizures but because people have stigma toward this condition so I could sense that his mom thought I had the worst type. Not to mention that he himself had to go through two surgeries on top of other health conditions he had when he was young based on what he had shared with me. I obviously do not qualify of ‘being healthy’ in order to get his mom’s approval. Her standard is: 1. Healthy, and 2. Have a stable job. Out of blue, he dumped me due to his parents’ “disapproval.” I was transparent and honest with him about my condition before we became official and he totally accepted who I am and commented, “You’re who you’re.” I’m from an Asian culture, but both his parents & my parents are easy going, not strict at all. We both have met each other’s parents and there were no problems. Everyone is going to have an opinion about someone including our parents and close friends but at the end of the day, we make our own decisions. I don’t know what I did wrong. What type of guy is this? Thank you all!
submitted by ThrowRV123 to u/ThrowRV123 [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 19:11 Complete_Ad9556 Future MIL w uBPD

Hello I’m new to this community, and might get some terms wrong. I’m writing because I’m in need of some perspective given how frustrating things have been for me and my partner. Basically, I’ve been dating my partner for more than a year now and I’ve always suspected that his mother (I’ll refer to her as MIL) is emotionally dependent on him as he’s the youngest child and only son. I also also suspect she has uBPD with all the self esteem issues, impulsive behaviours etc (Also pls lmk if this is inappropriate here I’ll take it down I’m sorry)
All this escalated over the last year when her husband began cheating on her, and along with years of marital neglect and I think low self esteem and worth (she married young, didn’t have her own life, spent years controlling the household), her actions became more toxic. I don’t know the full story as I hear them from my partner but MIL has threatened violence and suciide a few times, emotionally guilt tripped her children but more so for my bf (her son) and rant about her failing marriage multiple times a day (for >1 year) despite the practical advice from her family and lawyers. They all live together and eat together when they can but she claims her children are not siding with her or are not seeing her pain etc. At this point i can tell they’re all really exhausted by her constant ranting, self victimisation and emotional manipulation. The informal diagnosis from her own children is “mom is controlling the kids just because she can’t control her husband anymore”. The emotional incest part still stands because my bf’s her only son.
MIL has made our relationship difficult by always asking him why he chooses me over her (Mind you, she’s definitely putting expectations of her husband on her son), why he doesn’t tell her everything about us, all this STILL being done after reminders and pleas for healthy boundaries. Even now, he still eats with her updates her and follows her to the lawyer office (not his sisters), so I wouldn’t say he’s abandoning her like she claims. She just has the tendency to dramatise things and assume the worst intentions in people, even when things are literally not about her.
My bf never realised this emotional codependency was a problem until I pointed it out, and he even broke up with me recently over what his mother said about me (she basically compared me to other girls and planted really negative thoughts about me in his head). Even till now MIL still sends threatening messages to him about not liking me or accepting me as her future daughter in law. But now my bf recognises that he doesn’t care that much about what she thinks and knows to stand for himself.
I guess I’m just frustrated because I know MIL has a therapist but probably isn’t being honest and getting the real help she needs. Nothing my bf and his sisters can say will change her at this point. We are all adults over 21 and can definitely go no contact (but Asian families have this thing about filial piety), and although I sympathise with MIL, I find her actions inexcusable and unforgivable. I know I can’t control her and my bf, but it’s been really hard for me to share my feelings w my bf about my hurt over his breakup with me especially since he’s alr emotionally overwhelmed w his mother’s moods and emotional outbursts. He hasn’t sought therapy yet but I’ve been pushing him to do so. We try to communicate better now and support each other but things have gotten so pressurising with her toxic presence around. There’s always this looming chaos of her being permanently in my life too if I choose to marry my bf, who I love very much. And Idk how to navigate through this invisible competition she created with me.
I would really appreciate if someone can relate or provide some perspective and or hope about situations like this.. I myself am in therapy but this just seems so difficult.
submitted by Complete_Ad9556 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 19:05 Odd_Tomorrow2857 A guy name Ben rejecting a girl confession. So i watch this the snip of this movie at tiktok but I forget the movie name.

A guy name Ben rejecting a girl confession. So i watch this the snip of this movie at tiktok but I forget the movie name. In the scenes, the woman was trying to convince Ben that they could be a good couple ( they have physical relationship but not in love at that time). The girl also said something like " Gosh Ben, you talk about love but when it's here, you're rejecting it" and the guy, Ben said something like " I dont want to hurt you like Nick did" then the girl replied "you're hurting me way more than Nick do" .
I don't remember the girl name but she has this asian features and Ben is white guy but has brown hair I guess. Please help me, btw, the movie is in modern setting not the old movies. Please help me
submitted by Odd_Tomorrow2857 to whatsthemoviecalled [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 18:51 EagleFang91 Women and girls of this sub who are neither white nor Indian/South Asian, do you feel safer or more comfortable around white guys than around Indian guys?

View Poll
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2024.06.02 18:26 ThrowRAKSOCKDKKA How do I deal with my insecurities? ‘F20’ ‘M21’

So, I have been with my bf for almost 2 years. I am a very insecure. To provide u a background, we have both transformed from chubby people to fitter people prior to the relationship. He became very muscular and fit (as a result with very less bf%…74 kg and 5”9) and all his clothes fit him perfect. He’s a little smaller than my preference but it doesn’t matter to me. I, on the other hand lost ~14 kg but I have a long way to go, I am not close to being thin or athletic (63 kg and 5”3). The problem is, when we are together, I feel like I look bigger than him and I don’t ever feel attractive due to that. I’m of south asian descent and we live in Europe so, naturally people or, girls in particular are much fitter and better looking or “hotter” than me. And these girls are all around us. Even in uni, it’s filled up with just girls (ratio is like 5:1). I feel inadequate due to this fact and I’m always paranoid whether he’s checking others out or if he looks at someone and feels as if he settled for me. I just don’t want to feel like a loser if he ever leaves me for a better girl. I think it mainly started when he told me about his crushes in uni prior to when we started dating, all of them were just the complete opposite of my body type. I constantly keep comparing myself to these crushes, people I see online, girls around me. This has effected my self confidence A LOT and our sex life as well. So how do I overcome this?
submitted by ThrowRAKSOCKDKKA to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 18:03 Anxious-Lad03 20 bi guy from India- Looking for white and/or Latino/Hispanic guys (20+) to be intimate and close friends with. [Please read post]

Hello hello! I'm a 20 year old bisexual guy from Kolkata (Calcutta), India (GMT+5:30) looking for, as mentioned in the title, close and intimate friends.
About me, I'm a full-time university student who's in his second year of undergraduate study. Well, this is just the beginning of my academic journey as I aspire to become a professor, the first in my family to hold a PhD. Physically, I'm 167 cm (5'6"), 65kg (130lbs) with light brown skin, medium brown eyes and very dark brown hair which reaches my shoulders. As for interests, I love reading and collecting books. Also, I like learning languages, currently taking B2 level French lessons at the Alliance française in my city. Apart from that, I enjoy visiting museums, galleries and libraries, followed by discovering various genres and music and podcasts (love the true crime genre) and watching films (Girl, Interrupted is an all-time favourite followed by Call Me By Your Name).
As to why I'm looking for close friends online, I've had very few opportunities to bond with men and also to explore myself. I find it difficult to get along with South Asian men, as I've grown up around them all my life and both the straight and queer ones have deep insecurities regarding their masculinity and sexuality, as well as an inflated sense of thinking highly of themselves. I would just like to change that, even if it's online. I just want companionship and intimacy, even if it's not face-to-face. I would like us to have no hesitations, limits or judgements between us. Just pure desire and affection existing simultaneously. I also suffer from clinical depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, have been on medication for the past 5 years and am going to therapy, but if that's not okay with you, I completely understand and do not blame you. I just want someone where we mutually care for each other out of actual genuineness. Also, I should put it out there, if our friendship turns into something potentially romantic, and we both feel the same way, I'd like to act on that.
So if all of this sounds good to you, don't hesitate to reach out, DMs are always open! I would be open to showing my own face and sharing my name if it is a mutual effort on both ends. Also, if we hit it off, I'd like to move to some other, more stable messaging app where we can chat, share pics and voice notes and eventually have voice and video calls.
Important, please note: I DO NOT use SNAPCHAT or SKYPE due to concerns regarding my privacy as well as security and encryption. Hope you do understand that. Looking forward to hearing from you very soon!
submitted by Anxious-Lad03 to gayfriendfinder [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 18:02 Anxious-Lad03 20 bi guy from India- Looking for white and/or Latino/Hispanic guys (20+) to be intimate and close friends with. [Please read post]

Hello hello! I'm a 20 year old bisexual guy from Kolkata (Calcutta), India (GMT+5:30) looking for, as mentioned in the title, close and intimate friends.
About me, I'm a full-time university student who's in his second year of undergraduate study. Well, this is just the beginning of my academic journey as I aspire to become a professor, the first in my family to hold a PhD. Physically, I'm 167 cm (5'6"), 65kg (130lbs) with light brown skin, medium brown eyes and very dark brown hair which reaches my shoulders. As for interests, I love reading and collecting books. Also, I like learning languages, currently taking B2 level French lessons at the Alliance française in my city. Apart from that, I enjoy visiting museums, galleries and libraries, followed by discovering various genres and music and podcasts (love the true crime genre) and watching films (Girl, Interrupted is an all-time favourite followed by Call Me By Your Name).
As to why I'm looking for close friends online, I've had very few opportunities to bond with men and also to explore myself. I find it difficult to get along with South Asian men, as I've grown up around them all my life and both the straight and queer ones have deep insecurities regarding their masculinity and sexuality, as well as an inflated sense of thinking highly of themselves. I would just like to change that, even if it's online. I just want companionship and intimacy, even if it's not face-to-face. I would like us to have no hesitations, limits or judgements between us. Just pure desire and affection existing simultaneously. I also suffer from clinical depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, have been on medication for the past 5 years and am going to therapy, but if that's not okay with you, I completely understand and do not blame you. I just want someone where we mutually care for each other out of actual genuineness. Also, I should put it out there, if our friendship turns into something potentially romantic, and we both feel the same way, I'd like to act on that.
So if all of this sounds good to you, don't hesitate to reach out, DMs are always open! I would be open to showing my own face and sharing my name if it is a mutual effort on both ends. Also, if we hit it off, I'd like to move to some other, more stable messaging app where we can chat, share pics and voice notes and eventually have voice and video calls.
Important, please note: I DO NOT use SNAPCHAT or SKYPE due to concerns regarding my privacy as well as security and encryption. Hope you do understand that. Looking forward to hearing from you very soon!
submitted by Anxious-Lad03 to gayfriendship [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 18:01 Anxious-Lad03 20 bi guy from India- Looking for white and/or Latino/Hispanic guys (20+) for intimate, close and non-platonic connections.[Please read post]

Hello hello! Back to Reddit after a break. So, I'm a 20 year old bisexual guy from Kolkata (Calcutta), India (GMT+5:30) looking for, as mentioned in the title, close and intimate friends.
About me, I'm a full-time university student who's in his second year of undergraduate study. Well, this is just the beginning of my academic journey as I aspire to become a professor, the first in my family to hold a PhD. Physically, I'm 167 cm (5'6"), 65kg (130lbs) with light brown skin, medium brown eyes and very dark brown hair which reaches my shoulders. In bed, I'm a bottom. As for interests, I love reading and collecting books. Also, I like learning languages, currently taking B2 level French lessons at the Alliance française in my city. Apart from that, I enjoy visiting museums, galleries and libraries, followed by discovering various genres and music and podcasts (love the true crime genre) and watching films (Girl, Interrupted is an all-time favourite followed by Call Me By Your Name).
As to why I'm looking for close friends online, I've had very few opportunities to bond with men and also to explore myself. I find it difficult to get along with South Asian men, as I've grown up around them all my life and both the straight and queer ones have deep insecurities regarding their masculinity and sexuality, as well as an inflated sense of thinking highly of themselves. I would just like to change that, even if it's online. I just want companionship and intimacy, even if it's not face-to-face. I would like us to have no hesitations, limits or judgements between us. Just pure desire and affection existing simultaneously. I also suffer from clinical depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, have been on medication for the past 5 years and am going to therapy, but if that's not okay with you, I completely understand and do not blame you. I just want someone where we mutually care for each other out of actual genuineness. Also, I should put it out there, if our friendship turns into something potentially romantic, and we both feel the same way, I'd like to act on that.
So if all of this sounds good to you, don't hesitate to reach out, DMs are always open! I would be open to showing my own face and sharing my name if it is a mutual effort on both ends. Also, if we hit it off, I'd like to move to some other, more stable messaging app where we can chat, share pics and voice notes and eventually have voice and video calls.
Important, please note: I DO NOT use SNAPCHAT or SKYPE due to concerns regarding my privacy as well as security and encryption. Hope you do understand that. Looking forward to hearing from you very soon!
submitted by Anxious-Lad03 to gaydating [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 17:46 Complete_Job820 2 years of throwing the entire kitchen sink at the pain and attacks and you will never believe what finally got it to completely cease…

My gang stalking is strange because before this all started I saw a man’s face disform and completely change before my eyes as he yelled at his employee and me (If I told you this whole story, you will think I’m a undercover bot spreading misinformation or an insane person, ill trim the fat of this story completely) I couldn’t understand how someone’s face could be moving like that, as a logical non drinking, smoking or drug doing adult, I reasoned the best I could… I assumed he had major plastic surgery that was “unwinding” due to the heat and his yelling. Only the next day for him to walk up to me not only looking extremely handsome, but 20 years younger. 2 years just accepting something’s in life are unexplainable until I just happened across a tik tok talking about reptilians. I only left it on because the Asian girl was crazy hot as I did not believe in aliens. Not until she showed a police sketch a person who encountered one had made…. Man even now I can feel the shock reverberate through my body as it looked like that person had drawn that previous guys deformed face with ridiculous detail. That was the point where my understanding of the world broke because without a doubt I had encountered something outside the matrix. This is important to how I figured out how to stop the pain because I’ve always known there was some connection between gang stalking and my encounter before my gang stalking started. And when I realized yesterday after it suddenly popping into my mind is that reptilian was doing to his employee what they’ve been doing to us except at 1000x speed (this was a hotel, they hired him from out of town and gave him a room ,3 weeks into working there despite ample sleep he looked like he would die any second I told him to quit immediately and within days of quitting he went back to normal). Now back to the reason this matters, after remembering this I started looking at defense against reptilian across the webs. And in there sphere they even have a separate name for what targeted individuals go through, they call it hell realm. Well a lot of people had defenses for hell realm, I tried the simplest one and I felt the difference easily… but the simplicity makes it not believable, so please try it before you knock it. So apparently these entities need permission to do what they do to you and they use all kinds of means to obtain including subliminal and psychic etc. you simply need to say out loud (although it works for me in my head now but the advice originally was to say out loud, to be safe in saying that) “I revoke all previous permission’s I’ve given and do not consent, that includes A.I.” now for me I felt sudden cooling in my body. For the first time in 2 years I was pain free, it lasted about 15 minutes at first then it slowly started creeping back, which then I simply said it again. The time gets longer and longer in between and now I’m up to an hour without pain.another thing that worked for me that I found (this one really tripped me out) was to close your eyes and imagine where your hurting, then ask questions about the area and the pain, then imagine that pain is energy and then imagine what color that energy is. After that paint a healing color in your mind…. I don’t know how but it completely works without fail. If it worked or didn’t please comment your results, even if science has failed me the scientific method never has, so with enough data we can mass produce results for people I believe. Good luck.
submitted by Complete_Job820 to TargetedSolutions [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 17:37 Ok_Mechanic_5958 chat, is he interested in me? me (F20) him (M26) “first date edition”

I met this guy at a local asian restaurant that my friend recommended me to go. I was good friends w one of the servers that workes there because we worked together before she got into that place. She is a middle aged sweet lady and is often very supportive about everything and evryone. She often posts photos of the restaurant and the food to advertise it to the public. Whenever she posts something, I would often see this cute guy that are one of the chefs at the resto and i instantly knew he was my type.
One day, I finally decided to kinda give it a shot and go to the resto in person. I dragged my friend to go there w me and just hanged out. As usual, the lady was so happy to see me and I even met some people that we previously worked together that now working in the said restaurant (I was also close with them). From time to time they would always approach our table and say something funny which ig (caught someone's attention) .. it was a brief moment but i was able to meet the other staff and him too.. we even had a group photo together for my lady to post later on facebook lol. i was casual about it and everybody was friendly and we parted ways.. not until me and my friend saw the guy (the chef) again when me and my friend were waiting for our uber ride..
we had another brief interaction w him and ge invited us back for dessert but we had somewhere else to go but promised to comeback again another time .. ig a few weeks later, i suggested the resto to my parents and we agreed on eating there .. saw him again but we just said hi and didn't speak too much since it was busy, but so and so i caught myself giving glances at him and i knew he did the same thing. my parents really liked it and said that they will comeback again which made me really glad.
another time (a few days later), i was from work when i suddenly felt like going there again.. this time, i sat down to where his station is at.. the bar area and while he was working, we were kinda talking in between and was asking each other questions. At the end of the night, he asked for my number and if i was single to which i gave him my number and said i was indeed single. he asked me out and i said "yes." (i also found out that he was 26 .. 6 years older than me.. which i don't mind) my lady friend even told me that he's been asking about me and my phone number ever since i came into the resto.. she reassured me that she did not gave my number and honestly she was real for that..
atleast we did it naturally and got each other's numbers and we texted each other.. everything was short and brief tho.. we are both busy people.. i have 3 part-time jobs + in college + do sports so i always have something to do in any time of the day and he works there full time too and work long hours like i do.. he's a mechanic and loves engineering so he does like a bunch of stuff on the side that keeps him busy too. i've always been so awful w keeping up w ppl but whenever he texts me, i was DOWN so bad.
although i don't always have anything to say but i try to attempt on talking to him and be natural abt it. finally, i had free time (this is after a week) and we kinda made plans to meet at a local noodle place for lunch.. for context, he lives like an HOUR from the restaurant that he works (i live 10 mins away) .. the noodle place was like atleast 40mins away.. in my head i was like DAMN that's far. and for us to just meet for a couple of hours, i was under the impression that he really wanted to get to know me.
I was glad to meet him, been very casual about it but he definitely a very shy person up close. (ig when u work at a resto, u become a complete diff person cuz he be acting diff now lol) it was obvious to me that he doesn't know how to talk to girls and he def got no rizz.. during ig (the date?) we would ask questions and mid convo we would ran out of things to talk to and would like stare at each other and awkwardly laugh.
i try to maintain eye contact and listen to him but his voice is so soft (w all the background noise) i can't hear him sometimes and i awkwardly would ask him to repeat it back what he was saying. we got into the conversation about previous relationships and i learned that he don't have any experience. which it doesn't surprise me (for context, i always had bad experiences w relationships and i was honest about it too.. he was genuinely curious about it and was hesitant of asking me but i've addressed some issues about my previous relationships and the things that were importance for me that i consider / what im looking for in the relationship)
tbh, i was mostly talking for the both of us. i'm an introvert and obviously he was too but I TALKED TOO MUCH AT THE TIME and really really over shared..
i was worried that it might turn him off.. we even fought for the bill and agreed that he would pay and i get the next one.. we sat there for almost 3 hours but it was clear to me that he is very hesitant and cautious about me.
I had basically explained my whole lore to him and i feel like i still don't know anything too much about him other than like small superficial things about him. i didn't eat much and had to take home food too lol..
we decided to leave the resto but i had enough time before i had to go to work so we again, sat down outside and try to talk again.
in brief moments there was an awkward silence.. and we tryna figure out questions that we want to ask to each other but could not come up w one so it was definitely was awkward.
again, i would stare at him and just admire his features. his straight bangs, his face.. he wasn't very conventionally attractive and he's definitely one of the nerdy guys and loves geeky stuff but that side from him was enough for me to like him. even tho he doesn't say much .. although i had this strange feeling that he was not really interested in me but i really wanted to get to know him. idk what happened but he finally had the courage to ask VERY personal questions.
(for context, i am asian and immigrated in the US for 2 years now so i was really raised w traditional conservative grandparents.. he was born in the US , although his parents are asian, he does not speak his language very well and i could tell that he is very westernized.. also his parents too)
so naturally, i was shocked when he asked me my viewes about sex and my comfort level about getting physical. he even asked me how far i have gone to my previous relationships to which idk, was hesitant at first but replied truthfully that i do not have experience about it.
AGAIN, i'm still so confused that he was able to form that type of question and ((we even got to a point about healthy masturbation and stuff??)) like sorry,
I WAS GENUINELY BLOWN AWAY cuz this MAN, almost knocked our table out when he saw me walking in the restaurant.. HE WAS NERVOUS.. he definitely have that nerdy appearance that gives hime that innocent look. he doesn't talk to girls and previously never gone far w a girl..
he CANNOT even form a question without mumbling and pausing for like 5 minutes (looking stressed, defeated or pressured) ..
and i tryna constantly reassured him that it's okay -- so pls tell me that I AM NOT CRAZY.
and plus, like i said before.. he is very hesitant through and through.. i think he was like overthinking it tbh .. he addressed that there will be a time that we had to part both ways since he wanted to venture out more w tech/engineering..
to which i reassured him again that i was willing to work things out somehow and i was okay w it since i am also have similar plans in nursing + traveling (im currently in college and he's already out of college but he is still trying to find work relating to his degree, com sci) ..
very hesitant that even if i asked for his socials.. he was stalling and forgot about it after he said that he would give it "later.." but never did:( (turned me off tbh)
overall i was so down for him at first but it ruined my mood for the rest of day.
he was nice enough to drop me off to work which is like (20 mins away) which i feel so bad for letting him drive that far.. but ya, it was still a letdown.
i was so distracted throughout my shift and i kept on checking my phone if he texted me but never did.. for context (this was YESTERDAY) i had to text him first after my shift and we were on and off about the replies and he left me on delivered after he said he would stay up late that night..
i ended up not sleeping cuz i kept overthinking it.
i would love to tell him my feelings about this and see what would his response be you know, that first date definitely shattered me. so far, my previous relationships went pretty bad and i shared this to him also.. my partners would often over sexualize me and other people .. and that left me very uncomfortable. (that is why i felt the way that i felt about his questions) he is not very consistent with a lot of things and it just opened a lot of hidden traumas for me w my exs.
*chat, im sorry if this was very long and personal and i fear that he will find this post but i just really badly needed a second opinion.
i wanna know from the guys, is this normal? is it normal to ask a girl on their first date about sex? how about texting, i know we all can get caught up with life and i really understand that or atleast i try to but is the quote "if he really wanted he would" really true? (i mean he drove for such a long was so i think that was enough for me that he was yk, DOWN.
but the HESITATION, is it normal? i really appreciated his honesty there but was it really necessary to convey those things at a first date? (we're talking about potentially "trying" make it work here even if we both know that we would eventually live different lives together more than what we are now.
WAS THAT CONVERSATION TOO EASY FOR US? i genuinely wanted to try but he's been giving me mixed signals. maybe because he'a shy and really don't know what to say and i get that but i'm genuinely concerned, WAS HE TRULY INTERESTING IN ME? (could u even tell that after a first date?) did i pressure him too much?
I legit wanna know guys.. pls tell me ur thoughts and opinions.. i really wanted to know coming from a person w experience w serious non-toxic relationship. pls help me:)
submitted by Ok_Mechanic_5958 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 17:24 jwddnn somebody PLEASE help me understand myself 😆

im going to try spill everything I can think about into this.
im 14 years old and I hate myself alot for valid reasons, I had to stop cutting myself just to make my parents stop worrying
I hate myself because a) disgusting piece of scum b) attention seeker c)failure
a) reasons for the self hatred stem from a, you guessed it, porn addiction!! 😆😆 at 6 another kid made me suck him off at 8 my older (step) brother touched me and I didnt really refuse it, he also introduced me into porn (woohoo!!) but I dont blame him at all.
my porn addiction only grew and before id even hit puberty I did similar to what my brother did to me to my younger step sister. Its happened multiple times throughout these years, thankfully not recently.
I was born into a religious family which only made the feelings of guilt worse after watching porn.
At 12 I slowly descended into the dark web causing an exposure to cp, I was already an avid gore watcher.
I hate myself for feeding this addiction to the point its at today, ive tried to stop and improve myself many times but to no prevail.
b) since childhood ive always craved attention, from the smallest things such as looking blankly and acting zoned out so people can notice me. A main thing I do is draw, since year 2 ibe loved to draw but all my art is copied, and I claim it to be mine for people's praise which I need so much. I don't know if this whole reddit post is just attention seeking
It's not like I don't have friends, no, im fairly popular, im loud and bubbly around people, I like to chat alot and im pretty social I think. I also have dated many girls before, I dont think im good looking but people have told me I am, which makes me feel fake bcs I dont deserve a nice face or compliments or friends or to be loved.
but I still crave to be loved recently my girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me and it was my fault. I can't tell if I loved her or not. I told her I did yet i was a shitty boyfriend that only ruined her mental health. She cared about me so much and did everything she could to keep me happy but I still fumbled her. I feel so guilty that I ruined such a sweet girl, and I did it all purposely. I enjoyed making her upset and idk why???
im currently talking to a girl that said she loves me, but I dont love her, yet I told her I love her to lead her on so I can leave her ina bit and make her upset and I DONT KNOW WHY??
I wudnt say im a sociopath or anything bcs I have regard for people's emotions, I care about people yet sometimes I act like how I do.
C) pretty simple, I was a top student till I stopped listening in class and my grades dropped alot, im far under my mum's expectations as she constantly wants me to be better than I am now, which is a good thing I guess.
I'm also religiously doing shit which makes me feel very guilty but oh well.
as I mentioned earlier, I have tried to change and self improve but im such a fucking loser I can't do shit.
random shit I missed - in year 4 I pretended to be depressed for attention I think I started cutting for attention too. Idk why I crave sm attention but all I do know is that I fucking despise myself. I've been indirectly bullied for being black in a majority asian school.
submitted by jwddnn to SelfHate [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 17:17 im6c_ Source Music Decisions and how it has led to the hate 🚂 of Le Sserafim 🧵

  1. Not giving them enough rest : when idols are burnt out, there are bound to be things that arises in these tense promotions; fatigue, sloppiness and mental fatigue (i.e performance issues, taking a hiatus for health reasons)
Looking at Le Sserafim’s schedule I realize these girls have been promoting since debut, but also look at this scheduling from last year (2023) they had a full album + lead single promotions (Eve) a month later a Asian tour (August-September) then Perfect Night gets released + English promotions, and then November-January they’ve attended a lot of award shows rather then resting to prepare for Coachella.
  1. Source should’ve given those girls rest from January to April, they should’ve released Unforgiven in 1st qtr of 2023, instead they had them cramming Japanese promotions after there award show attendance. They should’ve released Easy in 3qtr of 2023 along with Perfect Night in 4qtr, that would’ve been the perfect order, then they would’ve gotten a three month rest before Coachella and fully prepare and rest, (typically Coachella invites are given out 2-3 months in advanced)
  2. Instead they released Easy in February, then they only had 1 week to prepare for Coachella, you can tell they were making them cram promotions because they promoted Smart while still promoting Easy and Swan Song, in the behind the scenes of the Smart MV, one of the members said they unexpectedly had a MV shoot scheduling for Smart in the middle of Easy promotions which tells me Source staff rushes things, and then they attended some random show attendance in Japan in the middle of all this a week and half before there Coachella performance. Source has really bad time management for these girls tbh.
  3. Source also didn’t give some of the members proper training, their a&r team seem obsessed with music quality by polishing up the blemishes of the weaker singers in the group using auto tune (Sakura’s parts are very apparent which is why she sounds off in the encores) rather then actually seeing if they can sing those parts well to shield them from scrutiny.
At the end of the day only a minority is blaming source music and majority blaming the members of the group, when it goes a two way street, you can give constructive criticism to lsf but most of the hate should be directed towards Source Music.
submitted by im6c_ to kpoprants [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 16:48 Egosauce 6 days in Malta - a recap

Hello my dear friends, I am writing this as sort of a diary entry to commemorate my time on this island. I will try to keep it short but as of right now, I don't quite know where this leads lol
I came to Malta 2 weeks ago and stayed in a hostel in the outskirts of St. Julian's. The moment I arrived, I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff that was going on. People, also tourists everywhere. Cars clogging up the roads. The sun burning from above. It was just crazy to me, how an island this small with a quarter of the population of my hometown City Vienna, can produce 4 x times the mayhem. You would think, with that limited space, people would prefer using their bikes to travel around. Not on Malta. Please tell me how this culture around cars emerged, I am very curious.
My bed in my hostel wasn't ready so I went to explore St. Philips Hospital. Holy shit, I have never been to a more disgusting place than that. 50% of the building is burned, and 25% of the rest that remains, is filled with bodily excretions and/or trash. I have also heard some questionable stories about that place. Fetuses found in buckets after the hospital was closed? Sounds like an urban myth to me but if you can confirm that, please do.
I ended the day by going to the Seafood Grill Market. I haven't seen that restaurant mentioned anywhere in my research. But damn, if you want some good seafood, go there. It is quite expensive though but absolutely worth it.
Next day I went to Ras id-Dawwara to go hiking. First however, I went to is-Serkin to get some Pastizzi and some tea for breakfast. Wow, great fucking stuff. Also, what are these prices? 60 cents for a Pastizzo (is that the singular?) , I instantly fell in love. I trekked 12km from Dingli to Bahrija through some incredibly interesting landscapes along the cliffs. Although, it was already very dry, I didn't mind because I was here to experience what the island is like. And that is what it is like. I very much enjoyed that walk and recommend it to anyone who hasn't done it yet. On the roads there, there are markings on the ground saying something along the lines of Start - Spin - Go. Are there some sort of races happening in the backcountry?
I came back to the hostel, took a 90 minute nap and then continued my mission on Malta by going to Liquid Club to some Hardtechno event. I met some very lovely people there, explaining to me what life is like on this island. In some conversations, sitting on the curb outside, heard a lot of complaints about some very shit politics, the general lack of opportunity and the loss of the Maltese identity. The night was incredible though and I am very thankful for these people guiding me.
Coming ack from the club, I couldn't sleep a single second. After lying in bed for 4 hours almost falling asleep but then not, I decided to do something about it and went to Kemmuna. When I arrived, I was once again completely overwhelmed by the amount of tourists on this beautiful little getaway spot. This is the place, where I really came to hate the average tourist. I am in no way trying to portray myself as oh so holy but I do try to practice my tourism as minimally invasive as possible. Assimilating into the culture pretty much summarizes this practice. But that was an insane scene I witnessed. Just boatloads (hehe) of tourists being dumped there fighting for every square cm of space to get the perfect shot for Instagram. The beauty of it all is however, that if you just put in a little effort, you get away from them entirely. Which is what I did and so I could explore this island with a girl I randomly met there from the hostel. Bless her heart, without her and in my physical state (at this point, I was awake for 28 hours, excluding the nap), I would have folded at some point. I am glad, I made it though and so I went to bed after 40 hours awake.
The next day, we went to Marsaxlokk to the supposed Fish Market. I already had my absolute reservations about going there and they were all truly fulfilled But one thing after the other. This place has gone to shit due to tourism. At the same time, there is nothing there? The fish market is just some stands ripping off tourists. I think I saw two stands selling actual fish. The restaurants are catering solely to people from abroad. There is no soul there anymore. St. Peter's pool was fun. Did some tricks into the water but that was it. Tbf, I was a little bit wasted from the 2 days before. In the evening, I excitedly made my way to Gozo to spend two nights there. Having been told at the club that Gozo is, what Malta used to be like 20 years ago.
I rented an E-Mountainbike to make sure, I see most of this island, which I absolutely accomplished. But once again, one thing after the other. I stayed in Marsalforn in a hostel and made my way to Nadur to get some Ftira. This is the beauty of food in a place where there's limited capabilities to grow food yourself. That thing filled me up for the rest of the day, even though I biked 70kms. Also, I am happy to announce my favoritism of Maxokk bakery (which I had the next day) over Mekren. They are indeed just a tad bit better. Either way, I then made my way to just about every town on Gozo and all the natural sites. Absorbing the beauty and calm of the old Mediterranean Or so you would think. Because every 30 minutes, there'd be a group of clueless tourists on loud, stinky quad bikes, disrupting that serenity. That didn't discourage me however and I continued my journey.
At this point, I would like to know how you feel about tourists. Maybe you don't even notice them anymore. I really did however. But if you tell me to tone down the hate, I will certainly listen to the people mostly affected.
I finished the day by climbing on of the hills and looking over the island. Found a lot of shards and shotgun shells (they're everywhere). I hoped for a beautiful sunset but I learned, there was a lot of sand in the atmosphere so that didn't happen unfortunately. It was a very beautiful sight nonetheless.
The next day isn't that noteworthy. Met up wit a girl I met at the club and we went to White Rocks and just talked and talked. the plan was to maybe see Valletta but that we skipped. I was very happy to go home anyway.
My conclusion of this trip, also TLDR I guess also endnotes. Malta is a very interesting case study in all of its intricacies. It can be a beautiful destination if you know what to look for. It has some incredibly lovely people. I seriously did not meet a single person that was hostile. Coming there was a small culture shock. You instantly notice, there are some problems quite present on this island. Lots of Jesus and Hail Mary. I expected more trash on the ground tbf. The water is better than in other places in Europe. The traffic is absolutely unbearable and it makes absolutely 0 sense to me why it is that way. The public transport as a result is terrible as well but what can you do when people unnecessarily clog up the already narrow roads. I didn't see a single homeless person which I found curious. There are a lot of Southeast Asian migrants which I found oddly specific. Gozo really is a different world, unfortunately the better Malta. Tourists everywhere. Some very unique nature but no beaches. It is in the end just a huuuge rock.
To be honest, I don't think I will be coming back. I have seen everyhing there is to see. But I very much enjoyed my time and want to say thank you to all of you. Your home really is something worth seeing.
Peace!
submitted by Egosauce to malta [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 16:46 Open_Will3339 I’m fed up of Muslim boyfriend’s behaviour and not wanting to convert to Islam anymore

I’m dating this guy from 10 months ago and he has been showing multiple red flags. We’re from different cultures, I’m European and he’s South Asian. It’s important to mention that I’m not generalising South Asian men with this post, I know not everyone from this ethnicity thinks or acts this way. These are the values and morals followed by my boyfriend and his family specifically which are very different from my Western values.
I’ve been trying to act more submissive and obedient according to his wishes and his culture but I think he doesn’t make the effort to adapt to my culture and treats me in a bad way. I compromised to stop doing my nails, convert to his religion, raise our future kids in his religion, dressing modestly, unfollowing every man of my social media, cutting contact with my male cousin and stop eating pork. He keeps being the same person with the same habits, the only thing I asked is to not cover my head to go out due to fear of getting hurt by islamophobic people or discrimination, also it’s not easy to find a job wearing that in my country, which he reacted very negatively and said he’s able to force me and our future daughters to wear it and he reacted badly to the fact I want to give my family’s name to my children, he asked sarcastically if I want our children to be Christians because my surname is of European origin and they should have Islamic names, although I told him their first and last names would be according to his culture. He said in his country people only have 2 names, neither of them is the mom’s name but the father’s.
He seems to fully dislike my culture while I should follow his culture, which is his mind is superior and morally more correct. He compares me to his ex girlfriend and his mom saying indirectly that they’re better women than me. It hurts me because I’m doing a lot of effort but he sets unrealistic expectations towards me, I’m European and he should accept it. I can’t act 100% like a woman from his country because I have my own culture. For every small thing he says he’s disappointed with me, for example, for picking a movie to watch with my female friend but telling him to choose the movie instead of me (which is not even true, it was my friend who chose it) or to talk a lot to my female friends on whatsapp. He’s always making sanctions on me such as “Why did you watch this show with her? “Why you didn’t tell me you painted your nails?” “You must tell me when you’re leaving the house in advance, even if it’s to go to the supermarket” “You shouldn’t say “I love you” to your girl friends like a lesbian!”
I feel like I’m in prison. Besides of that, he forces me to give all my passwords, he goes through my phone to read my messages and saved my parents phone numbers without mine or their consent. He says bad things about my parents because they’re divorced. He uses my weaknesses and my past relationship against me. He gets angry at me too easily, for example for not hearing what he says properly while on videocall, he criticises my English accent, mocks my choices if I don’t do what he demands (like trading) and bullies me. He calls me mindless and brainless. Last night, I lost my patience and I got angry, for the first time I said some abusive words and said I was fed up. He started threatening to call my parents and distorting everything, saying he never said it. I can’t feel in peace and safe with this man, I’m always in fear that he will start complaining for any small thing and start a fight.
submitted by Open_Will3339 to exmuslim [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 16:40 Open_Will3339 My (23F) boyfriend (25M) bullies me. What should I do?

I’m dating this guy from 10 months ago and he has been showing multiple red flags. We’re from different cultures, I’m European and he’s South Asian. It’s important to mention that I’m not generalising South Asian men with this post, I know not everyone from this ethnicity thinks or acts this way. These are the values and morals followed by my boyfriend and his family specifically which are very different from my Western values.
I’ve been trying to act more submissive and obedient according to his wishes and his culture but I think he doesn’t make the effort to adapt to my culture and treats me in a bad way. I compromised to stop doing my nails, convert to his religion, raise our future kids in his religion, dressing modestly, unfollowing every man of my social media, cutting contact with my male cousin and stop eating pork. He keeps being the same person with the same habits, the only thing I asked is to not cover my head to go out due to fear of getting hurt by islamophobic people or discrimination, also it’s not easy to find a job wearing that in my country, which he reacted very negatively and said he’s able to force me and our future daughters to wear it and he reacted badly to the fact I want to give my family’s name to my children, he asked sarcastically if I want our children to be Christians because my surname is of European origin and they should have Islamic names, although I told him their first and last names would be according to his culture. He said in his country people only have 2 names, neither of them is the mom’s name but the father’s.
He seems to fully dislike my culture while I should follow his culture, which is his mind is superior and morally more correct. He compares me to his ex girlfriend and his mom saying indirectly that they’re better women than me. It hurts me because I’m doing a lot of effort but he sets unrealistic expectations towards me, I’m European and he should accept it. I can’t act 100% like a woman from his country because I have my own culture. For every small thing he says he’s disappointed with me, for example, for picking a movie to watch with my female friend but telling him to choose the movie instead of me (which is not even true, it was my friend who chose it) or to talk a lot to my female friends on whatsapp. He’s always making sanctions on me such as “Why did you watch this show with her? “Why you didn’t tell me you painted your nails?” “You must tell me when you’re leaving the house in advance, even if it’s to go to the supermarket” “You shouldn’t say “I love you” to your girl friends like a lesbian!”
I feel like I’m in prison. Besides of that, he forces me to give all my passwords, he goes through my phone to read my messages and saved my parents phone numbers without mine or their consent. He says bad things about my parents because they’re divorced. He uses my weaknesses and my past relationship against me. He gets angry at me too easily, for example for not hearing what he says properly while on videocall, he criticises my English accent, mocks my choices if I don’t do what he demands (like trading) and bullies me. He calls me mindless and brainless. Last night, I lost my patience and I got angry, for the first time I said some abusive words and said I was fed up. He started threatening to call my parents and distorting everything, saying he never said it. I can’t feel in peace and safe with this man, I’m always in fear that he will start complaining for any small thing and start a fight.
submitted by Open_Will3339 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 16:06 Fragrant_Yak432 How do I 13F comfort my friend 14F?

My friend isn't living the life she deserves. At home, her family is living like an old-fashioned family; my friend does all the cooking, cleaning, and everything women and girls would do back then-- in which, I believe is due to her family being sexist. This causes her to struggles with deadlines at school while also getting good grades (A or A+) that her parents expect from her.
Her parents don't seem kind to her from what she's told me in her vulnerable moments. Her parents berate her for her body (She's a little chubby, but her eating habits are fine), and call her unattractive and ugly. And while at that, they expect her to be perfect, and getting angry at her when she gets an A- because she doesn't have enough time to study from being busy all day trying to do all the chores.
Her school life isn't any better. She seems rather unlucky, as teachers seem to dislike her from their pettiness towards her work. I'll put this in for others to take in consideration-- she's black, and the school we attend is mainly made up of Asians (I'm an Asian as well)-- while most of the teachers are white. For example, when she writes an essay for an English assignment-- where only a paragraph is needed-- our English teacher gives her an A- since she needs more 'detail'; whereas, if I write significantly less than her and write two paragraphs, I would get an A+. This I don't understand since my friend is rather talented in writing.
Another instance was when in class, she tripped and fell on the floor-- next to our French teacher. Our French teacher-- instead of asking if she's alright, goes on to yell at her and humiliate her in front of the class-- saying that she could've broken her leg. I wish I spoken up, but I didn't because I was scared. I'm ashamed of this.
I'm a sociable person, but one thing I'm not good at is comforting-- as I'm just usually the fun person that people take advantage of. But I want to be a better friend to her. She's the closest friend I had the longest relationship as a friend with. She's kind and mature and helped me cope through vulnerable times; unlike other girls during puberty, she's still so selfless and open-hearted-- willing to help others anytime. It breaks my heart to see her suffer with nothing I can do for her. I'm scared that if I'm still this bad at comforting, she won't be able to live the life she deserves. Please give me advice for being a better friend to her and ways to make others feel better genuinely.
submitted by Fragrant_Yak432 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 15:59 Zamus001 Dependent on a Transphobe

Hi, my name is Samia and I'm a 23 year old transgender girl from Cambodia. I know that SEAs don't have the typical pressure growing up as other Asians do but I still do struggle with my mom being from mostly Chinese descent. Growing up she never really pressured me to excel in school so it was chill as long as I got adequate grades (As and Bs) it was enough which wasn't that difficult for me.
My family is not the richest in the world, but we are quite well off. Rich enough to send me to live in north America for 7 years before bringing me back home. I graduated HS in 2019 and entered community college, covid hit and combine that with a slew of mental health issues and internal struggles, I ended up dropping out. This was my major screw up that they hang over my head. A sick struggling person is seen as a failure.
I realized I was trans when I was 17 and tried to come out before to multiple people but was always met with either transphobia or indifference. The transphobia made me repress myself and stay in the closet for years. At 23, this year march, I mustered up the courage to tell my mom, sister, and grandma I was trans and wanted to start on hormones. My mother seemed supportive at the time, allowing me to go on hormones.
Now she is showing her true colours, constantly making transphobic remarks and treating me and my identity like I'm stupid or wrong to be this way. She's ignorant as can be but refuses to listen to me when I explain to her what it means. She still reluctantly allows me to go on hormones, but for some reason refuses to let me see a doctor about it so I have to do hormones diy and from my own research from the Internet which is dangerous and not recommended. My country's laws are lax enough that I'm able to do this.
The thing is I would really like to leave but sad to say as a 23 year old drop out whose been dependent on her family for life, living a cushy life without ever having to work a day in her life, I have no idea where to start. Couple that with living in a generally ignorant and transphobic country, I feel I have no means of escape as of now. My mother always says that I'm useless and can't do anything so she treats me like a child.
There is hope however, I am going back to university in the fall this year and my mother plans to support me with school at least. I can go to school, possibly transfer abroad, and live my life free and happy (hopefully) if I can prove to her I can take care of myself.
My fear is that she will either try to send me to conversion therapy or cut off my supply of HRT. I hope to God that doesn't happen.
submitted by Zamus001 to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 15:56 blue-lemonade_ i think my dad is acting creepy

I'm 15f
and since abt 2 years ive gone frm skinny to a lil chunky
i come from a south asian background and over here everyones strict abt what a girl wears
but my family was fine with wtv i wore and when i was skinny i cud wear jeans and shirts and tight clothes
now that ive gotten a bit chunky, ive noticed how my dad doesnt let me wear much western clothing
obviously im pissed
but what makes me feel more weird is; so basically my mom was really fat when my dad married her
my mum used to wear our traditional clothes and all only
they separated a while back
so i feel as if he likes fat women and that hes tryna dress me up that way cuz he misses the feeling of doing that for my mom
and that my curvy body reminds him of my mom and that he wants to hide it
idk
just felt the need to talk abt it
submitted by blue-lemonade_ to Vent [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 15:43 moondog151 A 16-year-old girl would google her mother's new boyfriend and discovery that he was a notorious double murderer who killed his previous girlfriend and child, stuffing their bodies into barrels and burying them on his property. She soon went missing, her mother having chosen the murderer over her.

A 16-year-old girl would google her mother's new boyfriend and discovery that he was a notorious double murderer who killed his previous girlfriend and child, stuffing their bodies into barrels and burying them on his property. She soon went missing, her mother having chosen the murderer over her.
(This case was sent my way via this post asking for case suggestions from my international readers since I focus on International cases.
So I would like to thank xzwkimin for informing me about this case. And as this case is from a country that I skipped over during America's Series, that means I am delaying the Japan case and going backward to do this one
There is also a very lengthy 1 hour long video on this case by Jackie Flores which I used as a guide since it was helpful. But rest assured, I did my own research, used by own words, included additional information and didn't just copy her.
And as you my expect from that prior statement, this is a huge case so information is surely missed so like always your own research is encouraged in case I missed anything.)
Ámbar Cornejo Llanos was born on February 14, 2004, in Villa Alemana, Chile to her mother born in 1982 and father Ulises Cornejo. Ulises was mostly absent and seemed to have separated from Denisse before Ámbar was even born. Not long after their separation, Denisse began dating a new man named Juan Carlos Pérez Aguirre, a friend of Denisse's since before Ámbar was even born. This relationship would result in them having two children and thus Ámbar having two step-siblings although one tragically passed away at 4 months old due to malnourishment brought about due to improper care. After the death, Denisse would fall into a depression, heavily drink and neglect Ámbar and her surviving brother. It got to the point where their school requested the two be removed from Denisse's custody as they were visibly not being taken care of. The request was granted and the two were removed from her custody and held in an Institution for minors.
Ámbar Cornejo Llanos
Denisse Llanos Lazcano
In 2009, Denisse had her final break up with Juan, their relationship was a dysfunctional on-again-off-again relationship with constant break ups and reunions but eventually, their final break up would come. Also in 2009, Denisse had improved enough for a court to deem it safe for Ámbar and her brother to be returned to her care. After the break-up, Denisse and Ulises appeared to reconcile and Ulises grew close to Ámbar.
On September 27, 2012, Ámbar confided in two of her school teachers that one of her friends had been sexually assaulted, after they called her friend's mother, she broke down and admitted that she had lied and was in fact talking about herself. Ámbar was taken to the police to give a statement and she told them that whenever her mother took her and her brother to visit Juan back when they were dating, Juan would sexually assault her during these visits. Juan was arrested and on November 25, 2013, The Oral Criminal Court of Viña del Mar sentenced him to three years imprisonment, ordered him to pay and cover the entire cost of the trial, prohibited him from even having any contact with Ámbar or her family, and had to disclose his address to the police. The court also again, took custody away from Denisse and sent her to live with Ulises for a few months, The no-contact order went both ways as Denisse was ordered to have nothing to do with Juan either so long as she wanted to raise Ámbar. Eventually, Ámbar was returned to Denisse's custody after she obeyed this court order.
Ulises, viewing Denisse as an unfit mother, and since he saw her as manipulative wanted to keep Ámbar. When Denisse found out, she prohibited her daughter from ever visiting her father and tried to manipulate her into disliking him, saying that it was his fault and that he was trying to break up their family. Ulises would also send money to the family for Ámbar but Denisse would often, not tell her when the money arrived and simply pocket and spend it for herself.
Denisse's plan to turn Ámbar against her father backfired and the older Ámbar got, the more strained her relationship with her mother would become. They would constantly argue and one time, Ámbar had a friend over when she and Denisse had another argument and Denisse moved to strike her daughter. Ámbar and the friend ran to another room and locked the door but Denise was so angry over whatever the fight was about that she hit the door with enough force to break it open. The only reason that Ámbar never defended herself was simple, according to friends, Ámbar told her that since Denisse gave birth to her, she was obligated to respect her mother and could never raise a hand to her.
Soon Denise would date another man, the landlord of their apartment, Manuel García Queirolo. Tragically, Manuel wouldn't be any better than Juan. Whenever he heard that Ámbar was showering, he'd use his position as the landlord to go to a room on the second floor that gave him a clear view through the bathroom window so he could watch Ámbar. Ámbar would eventually find out and inform her mother to which she told her and her brother to just not shower unless she were home. But beyond that, she took no action, she didn't even stop seeing Manuel. She actually did the opposite and got mad at Ámbar for being the subject of Juan and Manuel's lust. The worst of Manuel's depravity wouldn't come out or be known by others, even Ámbar until years later, that will be discussed further in the write-up.
With all this tragedy and her dysfunctional and abusive home life, one may expect Ámbar to have been troubled. But on the contrary, all her friends said she was happy, outgoing, kind, would do anything for them and loved to engage and share her hobbies with them such as dancing. Ámbar was deeply liked by all her classmates and was very popular. She had managed to not be defined by all that was going on in her life.
In late 2019, Denisse had found her next boyfriend, a man named Hugo Humberto Bustamante Pérez with the two moving in together in relatively short order. Ámbar was not very keen on Hugo and how fast their relationship was progressing, she also felt uneasy about him as well and how he looked at her. Ámbar told one of her friends about her mother's new boyfriend and her friend felt his name sounded familiar to the two looked him up and did not at all like what they had found.
Hugo Humberto Bustamante Pérez
Hugo Humberto Bustamante Pérez was born on March 28, 1965, in Quilpué as the third out of four siblings. His father worked as an electrician, and his mother a housekeeper with domestic violence a frequent occurrence in the household. His mother was described as neglectful while his father was actively abusive and had him put to work at the age of 8 to sell fruits and vegetables at markets. To escape his father's abuse during his most violent outbursts, he would go stay at his grandparent's house. At the young age of 13, he would fall into a drug addiction, starting with marijuana before escalating to opium and cocaine.
At the age of 15, his father kicked him out of the home so he went to Mendoza, Argentina and lived with a classmate. There he claimed to have travelled all to Bolivia, Peru, Spain and Brazil. He returned to Chile at the age of 18 and began stealing goods to sell back as well as trafficking drugs. When he was 20 he would, with the help of an accomplice take part in a scam where he would get on a bus, gain the trust of the passenger sitting next to him, offer a drink laced with sleeping pills and then steal their belongings as they passed out in the street. He would also attempt this on beaches as well.
Several times, Hugo would attempt to start romantic relationships but none of them would last particularly long usually breaking up almost immediately due to a lack of commitment from Hugo. For legitimate income, Hugo got into bodybuilding and according to him, he owned a nightclub. On May 27, 1987, Hugo was arrested for the first time on a charge of theft but he doesn't appear to have suffered severe consequences for this. He later began another relationship but this one seems to have lasted a little longer with them even having a child and Hugo getting employed as a serial guard. But they broke up shortly after the birth and in 1989 Hugo was arrested for nine counts of robbery, four counts of theft and 5 counts of armed and violent robbery earning him a 10-year prison sentence.
Hugo had a rough stint in prison, with his drug habits routinely sending him to a hospital in Valparaíso and often had extra security and shackles because he once tried escaping during a transfer. In 1992, he suddenly had a mental health crisis and was admitted to a mental hospital for 25 days. In 1995 he was granted parole but was sent back to prison 8 months later after violating it. He was finally released after serving his sentence in 1999. After serving his sentence he again attempted to turn his life around, getting a job painting and repairing cars and saving enough money to open his own store. He also took an interest in yoga and spiritualism. At a yoga class, we would meet 49-year-old kindergarten teacher Verónica Vásquez Puebla (born in 1955) who had a son named Eugenio Honorato Vásquez.
Verónica Vásquez Puebla and Eugenio Honorato Vásquez
Unlike Hugo's prior relationships, this one actually appeared to be promising. Eventually, Hugo asked Verónica for money for "home improvement" and initially she wouldn't hesitate to give her money away. Tragically, Hugo would begin squandering the relationship and would become abusive and temperamental. So on January 8, 2005, he came to ask for money, money that he had never paid back any time prior, Verónica finally said no having now wanted nothing to do with him.
When met with this reply, Hugo was left enraged. In his fit of rage, he grabbed a baseball bat and struck Verónica with it before strangling her. All the commotion had woken up 9-year-old Eugenio after being witnessed, Hugo set his sights on the child and began strangling him as well. Now that both were unconscious, he shoved a cloth down Verónica's throat, tied her hands and feet together and slit her throat. Afterward, he finished them by wrapping their heads in plastic wrap and tying a plastic bag around their heads. He then got a metal drum and hit their bodies repeatibly with a cane and breaking their bones so he could better fit Verónica and Eugenio's corpses inside. Then to hide the smell of decomposition, filled the drum with water, line and plaster before sealing it. He then proceeded to ransack Verónica's house to look for the money he had asked for and left once he found it.
He left the barrel in Verónica's home for a few days and blew her money on his old habits, that being drugs, drinking and prostitutes. Eventually, despite his methods to mask the odour, the bodies inside the drum began to smell. To deal with this, he bought a house with a patio and transferred the barrel to that property. He then asked his father if he could help him dig a hole in his yard. The hole was two meters deep and one meter wide. He asked the movers, moving in his furniture to help move the drum to the back of his house. Hugo was almost caught right then and there because liquid began leaking from the barrel but Hugo said that he worked in the food (specifically French Fry) industry and that it was a chemical from making the product. After everyone left, he buried the drum in the hole he had his father dig. Verónica's brother noticed she was missing and called her only to be answered by Hugo and said that she had gone on a spiritual retreat. Eventually, he and her family went looking for her and found her identification documents in a ditch. Hugo was again called and simply said she was bored with Verónica and hung up.
On January 26, Hugo's new neighbours called the police to report the smell and when they arrived, despite how confident Hugo was that he'd get away with it, and despite all the work he put into hiding his crime, he confessed immediately. The police placed Hugo under arrest while they excavated his yard and recovered the drum and the bodies. Tragically, the news broke at the same time as Hugo's daughter began making plans to reconnect with him. This murder gained Hugo the moniker of "The Drum Psychopath"
The police outside Hugo's house.
The police in Hugo's yard
The drum.
Hugo spent his first few months in a mental hospital where he boasted to the doctors about his economic situation and martial arts talent. Hugo's trial took place in November 2005 held by The Guarantee Court of Villa Alemana, and he was handed down a sentence of 27 years imprisonment with his release date set for January 26, 2032. Hugo would now be one of Chile's most infamous criminals and was the subject of an episode of "Mea Culpa"
Hugo being brought to court
Hugo was even given interviews while in prison, in one of these interviews he was asked if he would ever kill again if released and he would tell the interviewer that he didn't know because "I am not the master of destiny". He also told the interviewer that he was triggered by a whistling sound in his ear and he said that it was like watching a movie while he was killing Verónica and Eugenio.
On April 29, 2016, Hugo was put before a parole board and even though Hugo publically said to an interviewer that he was uncertain about whether he'd kill again or not, and even though the prison itself told the judges in charge of the parole hearings not to release him, they outraged all of Chile by granting him parole regardless on the basis of him serving 10 years, learning an actual skill he would use at a job while in prison and good behaviour meaning, legally, they had no reason to deny parole and he was released amongst 788 others. Hugo was despised by all the locals he was now living with, no employer would hire him for any more than a day so he mostly worked odd jobs. Even those who reluctantly admitted that Hugo was nice, added that he still seemed odd and one of his neighbours said "When he looked at you, it felt like he was undressing you with his eyes"
Neighbours would even put up flyers all across the area warning residents about Hugo and to make it clear to Hugo that he wasn't welcome. Parents even refused to let their children go outside alone now that Hugo was back and living alongside them and women wanted to be driven to work and driven home from work instead of walking. Even the mayor of Villa Alemana had ordered an extra police presence in the neighbourhood he moved into.
As soon as she finished reading up on his lengthy and disturbing history, Ámbar was left horrified. Denisse had had 4 partners, one sexually assaulted Ámbar when she was 8, the other was a blatant pedophile who would stare and watch her shower and now her newest one was a man who killed his girlfriend and her 9-year-old child. The only one of Denisse's partners that she actually treated with disdain and contempt was Ámbar's father who cared for and had her best interests in mind. Ámbar explained this all to Denisse who got mad at her daughter and started another fight since she saw Ámbar as judging her newest boyfriend without getting a chance to meet and know him. She even told her that everyone deserves a second chance despite barely knowing Hugo herself at this point.
Seeing as her mother remained stubborn, Ámbar went behind her back and wrote a complaint letter to the apartment's manager requesting that Hugo be banned from the premises. This complaint found its way to the public and soon the other residents of the apartment learnt that Hugo was living with them and essentially, they all came together to demand that they all leave and take Hugo with them. Leave they did but Denisse took Ámbar's brother and moved into Hugo's own home. But Denisse, now on the verge of hating Ámbar for not accepting her relationship with Hugo, punished her by abandoning her underaged daughter and having her live alone in the apartment with a very minuscule amount of money.
After only a week, Ámbar would have to leave the apartment and would go back and forth between staying at various different friend's houses but none were able to let her move in full-time. And she couldn't move into her father's place because he lived in Northern Chile and that would involve abandoning her brother and mother with Hugo. In December 2019, Ámbar moved in to live with Manuel's daughter who was old enough to have her own children and for Ámbar to refer to her as an "aunt". She was described as a much better mother figure than Ámbar's own mother and she was completely ignorant to Manuel's crimes so Ámbar felt safe around her and didn't hold her father's actions against her. And by this point, Denisse disowned Ámbar in all but name. She ended up having to repeat a grade and the school and teachers took note of this and tried to call Denisse 6 separate times for a parent-teacher conference only for her to get aggressive toward the teachers for even calling her at all.
The only interactions she would have with Denisse would be when child support was sent and Ámbar still all these years later had to go to Denisse's house to collect the money in person before her mother spent it all herself. And often she wouldn't even go inside, she'd just knock on the door, Denisse would give her the money without saying a word and close the door. And even if she didn't behave that way, Ámbar steadfastly refused to ever step foot inside Hugo's home. The latest payment was sent on July 29, 2020, when Ámbar told her "aunt" that she was going to head over. After three hours had passed Ámbar had yet to return home from Denisse's and wouldn't answer her phone her respond to any messages. Her Aunt actually called Denisse who blatantly didn't care about her daughter's disappearance and actually hung up the phone. Afterwards, the police were finally called.
Both the police and the entire neighbourhood dismissed the possibility of a runaway and together with the police, the entire neighbourhood began a search effort for Ámbar. Ulises also heard of what had been going on in Ámbar's life as well as her disappearance and immediately travelled to Villa Alemana to join in on the search and of course call and confront Denisse who would never answer or respond. Even when the police themselves showed up, Denisse refused to cooperate or help and ignored even those tasked with finding her daughter. Some witnesses even said that she just stood on her porch and drank a beer with Hugo while others tried finding her daughter
The police would put several flyers all across the local area appealing for information, questioned every neighbour they could find, and together with the Red Cross, firefighters and local volunteers searched the nearby grasslands, bushes, forests, mountains and so on utilizing sniffer dogs, drones and even thermal imaging cameras with the searches continuing into the night. A witness would also come forward and say that in the morning he drove by Ámbar and saw her crying as she walked away. One of Denisse's neighbours also said that in an unusual course of events, Ámbar actually entered Denisse and Hugo's home instead of waiting outside and that she didn't leave. This statement was supported by a CCTV camera showing her walking toward their house but never walking away.
Ámbar's missing notice
This time, simply ignoring them wouldn't work. On July 31, A large group of neighbours went to Hugo's house and waited for him to come outside so they could all gang up on and confront him and some wouldn't even let him go back inside. Hugo acted strangely amicable this time and even invited them to come inside and said the police could even bring in search dogs. Hugo even confidently stated, "If I had a body in here it would smell, Don't you think a body that's been here for 2 days would smell". This statement had the opposite effect of what Hugo had intended since as of now, most people thought Ámbar may still be alive.
Since he gave consent, everyone agreed and entered his home on August 3, including police with search dogs and although no human remains were found, they did find clothing with traces of human blood which were seized to be analyzed by forensics. The blood would end up being a red herring as it was old and belonged to Denisse. Even though Hugo seemed to have been in the clear for now, having just invited police onto his property and them finding nothing, he decided to, on August 3, with Denisse, leave Ámbar's brother in the care of one of his sisters and then the two would just flee and leave the area without notice. By now the search expanded to find them, as suspects to be arrested.
On August 6, photos were uploaded on social media showing Hugo and Denisse at a camp ground in Lilu Lilu trying to find someplace to hide, police also pulled CCTV footage from a store near the camping ground and saw the two buying clothes, hats and sunglasses in an attempt to hide their appearance. The police searched the nearby woods and found the two relatively easily and began interrogating them separately.
Hugo and Denisse at the campground
Denisse who clearly had no concern for her daughter's safety and disowned her over not accepting Hugo, turned on him very easily. She confessed that Hugo had murdered Ámbar and that she knew he did but was too afraid to come forward as Hugo had threatened her, her son and her parents and that he forced her to run away with him. According to her, Hugo had dug and torn up his living room floor to make a 6-foot ditch, bury her in it and refill the living room. The police believed Denisse and figured she'd be a valuable witness so they released her. Hugo exercised his right to remain silent and told the police nothing.
It was fortunate for the police that Hugo didn't need to speak. They checked his cell phone and found that from July 20-July 28 he had searched the following terms "Price of electric weapons, Ranged stun gun, Using chloroform to sleep, Sale of straightjacket psychiatry, Chinese bamboo torture, Chinese water drop torture, Ether sleeping spray, Using ether to put people to sleep, Medical use of scopolamine, Where to buy hydroxybutyric, Total and absolute power, How to change your first and last name, Psychological torture, Torture methods, Meat grinder price, Blows to faint, sleep or immobilize," and so much more which clearly showed that not only did Hugo premeditate Ámbar's murder, but that the murder was likely horrific. Inside his backpack were two knives, a hatchet, rope and a receipt for paint and paraffin wax.
The police easily obtained a warrant to search Hugo's home that same day. They broke up the floorboards in his living room and dug up the soil underneath. There they found three plastic coolers upside down and wrapped into plastic bags. The police removed the bags and opened up the coolers, there they found the decomposed, eviscerated and partially skeletal remains of a young girl, dismembered into 15 separate pieces. The remains were easily identified as Ámbar's based on her clothing. The autopsy revealed that Ámbar had been attacked and suffered numerous blunt force injuries across her body but especially to her hands, arms, forearms, buttocks and thighs. a cloth was stuffed down her mouth as seen with her head, and there were signs on the remains that she had been violently raped. According to the medical examiner, a saw and knife were used for the dismemberment
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https://preview.redd.it/wfpw4m47u54d1.png?width=760&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddafe2a0402d76e0c2cc8d3cd6c729feb9f73dbd
https://preview.redd.it/ygeyfrwbu54d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=8019b513bad529d81215e0a2452b41ecb4cf9e54
Police and forensics
Meanwhile, the police faced backlash for releasing Denisse and not investigating her further, many did not believe her to be as innocent and a victim of Hugo as she portrayed, her prior history and actions during the search made that hard to believe. And even after her daughter's dismembered body was found under her living room, Denisse wasn't sad, mourning or even. After several threats including her apartment being vandalized as she was led home under her police guard and threats over the phone, Denisse was sent to a psychiatric institute after attempting to take her own life. The backlash continued after it was revealed that the institute was being kept anonymous as a "witness protection" situation.
And speaking of outage, outrage toward the Chilean government and judiciary was immense as Hugo's release led to Ámbar's death. The families of Verónica and Eugenio were also furious that their killer got to go free to kill again instead of serving his sentence. The outrage was in fact so intense, that the judge who approved Hugo's release was even suspended and investigated for misconduct. Eventually, though, she was reinstated with no consequences because although the law was flawed, she was doing her job as a judge by following it. Instead, Chile changed their laws to make the parole process much more thorough and over all harder to have parole answered as opposed to the rubber stamp process it was before.
On September 24, Denisse was removed from Witness Protection and instead placed under arrest with now the police labelling her a murderer instead of a witness. The police ended up going through Hugo's entire phone history, Denisse's, and CCTV footage around the area before and immediately after the murder which showed that Denisse was an active participant. Denisse's motive was simple yet heartbreaking and horrifying. She had on some level wanted to do this ever since their neighbours forced them to leave their apartment because of Hugo, she and Hugo both said that Ámbar wasn't letting them live together as a romantic couple in peace and she saw Ámbar as coming in between him and Hugo and that as long as her daughter was alive, she would never be with the man she wanted.
Denisse's arrest
While in prison, she was the most hated inmate by her fellow inmates and her own cellmate said that she would "make life impossible" and went out of her way to stay up late just to make sure that she could keep Denisse awake and not let her sleep. This led to Denisse being moved to solitary confinement after a "lynching" attempt. A move that infuriated the public and her fellow inmates. It also upset Hugo who was said to have been begging the courts to let him visit Denisse.
Denisse and Hugo were both tried together with the trial beginning on October 26, 2021, at The Oral Criminal Court of Viña del Mar. During the trial which was held over video link due to COVID-19. Denisse somehow found a way to play Ámbar's favorite music which the court and her relatives saw as a provocation. with the prosecution calling over 54 witnesses, 113 relevant documents, 30 expert reports, and the prosecution presented strong DNA evidence, Psychiatric reports showing them to both be sane, and biochemical reports. According to the prosecution, this is what happened.
Hugo and Denisse during the trial
On July 29, 2020, Ámbar was called by Denisse to pick up the money sent by Ulises. Before Ámbar arrived her now 14-year-old brother was sent to school to pick something up so that he couldn't be a witness to the crime. When Ámbar arrived, Denisse refused to go outside, meet her and hand her the money like always, instead, she insisted and demanded that she enter the home if she wanted it. Somehow, she did convince her and Ámbar went inside where she was immediately attacked by her mother and Hugo with Hugo proceeding to rape Ámbar.
Soon a problem in their plan emerged when Ámbar's brother returned home much quicker than Denisse had expected him to. When Denisse saw her through the windows she hurriedly ran outside and told him that they needed to go to their old apartment because they had gotten a call that someone was breaking in. He couldn't see anything that was going on and really needed to use the bathroom, but his mother insisted that they had to leave now and when he moved past Denisse to use the bathroom, Hugo from the inside kept pushing the door shut so he couldn't enter, something he found odd. He was only allowed in after Hugo dragged his sister's body to another room and closed the door. When he was finally let in to use the bathroom, he heard a loud thumping noise coming from the other room. He left the bathroom and didn't even ask about the noises but Hugo felt the need to frantically explain them away and say it was his mother coming over for a visit and folding clothes. Ámbar's brother was one of the prosecution's star witnesses.
Hugo, now left alone, began dismembering Ámbar into the aforementioned 15 pieces and placed them into the coolers while CCTV cameras showed Denisse and her son at a metro station on the way to their apartment. Denisse showed no reaction to helping her boyfriend rape and murder her daughter. While at the metro station, she sent the following text messages to Hugo. "I'm more calm now, I love you, kisses", "I hope everything goes well for you", "See you tomorrow" and "Good night love" That second message was her wishing Hugo luck in disposing of her daughter's body. They also exchanged 14 phone calls. When they arrived at the apartment, Denisse had her son stay there while she rushed to a store to purchase paint and paraffin wax. Denisse was caught on CCTV doing this and the cashier was called to testify. To keep him away from their home, Denisse had her son stay at the apartment alone for the night as she returned.
Hugo and Denisse then went to the living room to remove the wooden floorboards in the living room, dig a six-foot hole through the soil underneath the floor, dumped the coolers into the hole, filled the hole back in, and placed new replacement floorboards where the old ones were and nailed them back to the floor sealing up the makeshift grave. The paraffin wax was used to try and keep any search dogs from detecting the stench of decomposition. Neighbours heard the sound of equipment such as drills and hammers being used but that the sounds were spaced out as if Hugo and Denisse were trying to be quiet with them. Denisse then wrapped Ámbar's cell phone in aluminum foil, burnt it and discarded it in a crawl space. Denisse's fingerprints were pulled from this foil. Denisse's shoes were also examined and traces of wax were found on the soles. Hugo seemed supremely confident that he would never be caught but as soon as he was confronted by his neighbours he was suddenly terrified and frantically told Denisse that they needed to run away.
On November 26, 2021, the two were found guilty and on December 7. both were sentenced to life imprisonment without the possibility of parole until at least 40 years into the sentence meaning the two won't even have the possibility of release until Hugo is at least in his 90s. It wasn't just murder the two were convicted of, they also were sentenced for rape and abuse, tragically not just that of Ámbar. Ámbar's brother wasn't just a major in the murder case, Hugo and Denisse had been sexually abusing him as well this whole time and the two were sent to prison for those crimes. For the sake of his protection, specific details involving his case have thankfully not been made public. They were both acquitted on the charge of illegally burying a body and Denisse was acquitted on the charge of raping Ámbar. They both appealed the verdict and sentence but on June 2, 2022, the Chilean Supreme Court upheld the decision.
Now I mentioned that Manuel García Queirolo would be brought up again as his actions were even more heinous, Well, during her disappearance and murder, the Cyber Crime Unit was investigating Manuel for completely unrelated reasons, he was suspected of producing and possessing child pornography on his cell phone and other sex crimes from 2016-2020. On August 17, 2020, he was placed under arrest while investigators went through his phone. As they expected, he did possess mutable inappropriate images of minors.
Manuel's arrest
Horrifyingly enough, 400 of which were all of Ámbar back when she lived in his property. Aside from photographing her while she was showering, he also had pictures of upskirts and pictures taken up her dresses and the phone camera zoomed in to focus on her privates. Ámbar never found out about these images. On December 15, 2021, Manuel was convicted by The Oral Criminal Trial Court of Viña del Mar and sentenced to 14 years imprisonment on December 27.
Ámbar's other relatives, friends and various women's rights organizations were satisfied with the verdict and even celebrated in the streets. The families of Verónica and Eugenio were also pleased to know that he was back in prison. For Hugo and Denisse, they are likely to never see each other face to face ever again. Ironically, that is despite being in the same prison. On April 27, 2022, Denisse was transferred to the same prison as Hugo after an apparent "lynching" attempt which led to lacerations on the scalp, bruises on both sides of the neck, an orbital hematoma, a laceration in the right eye, a wound on the lower lip, a hematoma in the lumbar dorsal area and on the left elbow. Although she has been attacked several times before this was the most brutal one.
Ámbar's brother is now 17-18 and is living with other family on Ulises's side. He is said to be doing well, has made several new friends and has moved on and put this incident behind him with his life looking up for him.
Sources (In the Comments)
submitted by moondog151 to TrueCrimeDiscussion [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 15:40 Extra_RAdical Well that explains her mental health issues.

Well that explains her mental health issues.
I don’t mean to diss, but I’m just saying…. It explains a lot. In fact, it actually explains EVERYTHING.
No, but real talk… Surely I’m not the only one who knew this for a fact, right?? Or at least had suspected this. Because I knew she was a rich, superstitious Asian girl with mental health issues, but I think a part of all Jaiden fans kinda put together the fact that she does in fact have autism. It also kinda explains why she doesn’t understand nor is unable to comprehend you know… the world. Again, I don’t mean to disrespect nor talk down, let alone roast Jaiden, but I’m just simply saying, it was kind of obvious.
Am I right, or am I wrong??
submitted by Extra_RAdical to jaidenanimations [link] [comments]


2024.06.02 15:24 PositivelyPositive12 I (17M) was friendzoned by the girl (17F) I've liked for 1.5 years after she liked me back.

This is a throwaway.
Sorry this is long, but it’s years of emotion that I haven’t had a way to let out. Thank you for reading!
TLDR: I (Indian 17M) have liked this girl (white 17F) for 1.5 years. We started talking and got along really well, but I didn’t end up asking her out officially because my parents wanted an arranged marriage and I was too confused on what to do. As a result, I somewhat unintentionally became shy and distant around her. Recently, about 1.5 years after we first started talking, we had a field trip together which caused all my feelings to come back. I confessed to her how I felt four days ago, and she said she did like to be back then but now was unsure if she wanted to be more than friends at the moment. Later she texts me and tells me that she thinks I’m a nice guy and still wants to be friends. And now I am unsure what I should do/how I should do it. I feel so lost and scared in this incessant, tumbling sea we call life. I really liked her, and after knowing those feelings were mutual but I didn't act on them makes me feel HORRIBLE.
I (currently 17M) have liked this girl, we’ll call her K, (currently 17F) for about 1.5 years. It all started 1.5 years ago, when we were in the same honors English class. We started talking a bit and had a group project together and somehow by someway, I ended up falling for her. She’s smart, funny, cute, has a great personality, and is hardworking. We started talking more in class, and eventually I gathered enough courage to ask for her number one day, and to my utter surprise and joy, she actually gave it to me! After that, we started talking quite a lot in school and for hours over text for many days. We were chatting about so many things, even personal things as well. Things were going really, really well, and naturally the next step would have been for me to ask her out. And I would’ve, except there was one hurdle stopping me: my parents.
I’m Indian but have lived my entire life in the US. She is white. My parents are fairly up-to-date on changing times and believe in things like how dumb strict gender roles are. They also aren’t entirely stereotypically asian in that they absolutely demand for me to become a doctor or a lawyer or whatever else, and this applies for a lot of other things as well.
The one thing that they are entirely adamant on, however, is that they want to see me “settled down.” By this, they explicitly mean that they want to choose who I marry (an arranged marriage) based on things like caste and horoscopes and whatever else. They believe that to be the best way to have a successful relationship in life. They have strictly told me no dating and no relationships other than who they end up choosing later on. I, not wanting to start world war 3 at home, have complied, and as I hadn’t felt anything towards anyone, it didn’t really impact me straight away. That being said, I don’t believe in such arranged marriages. I am certain that the best relationship is with the one who you truly love and know and understand. I haven’t voiced these concerns to them yet, as I know it will end up causing a strong rift and divide in my family, potentially meaning severed ties.
Back to 1.5 years ago when I was talking to K for hours and hours, I realized that I should, logically speaking, ask her out on an official date. However, I also realized that was held back by my parents’ restrictions. To ask K out, I would have to fight my parents, which would have certainly meant some pretty strong consequences. In short, I was conflicted. I really like K, but that would come at the expense of my parents’ singular dream. They’ve said many times in their life that their only life goal is to see me settled down like I said above. They want to see me married to someone of their own choosing. I’ve seen just how much they’ve sacrificed for me. They’ve sacrificed their time, where they lived, friends and family by moving to US to give me a better life, night shifts, and so much more. So to me, asking K out would have shattered their one dream, and I feel morally guilty about that. How can I just take the one thing that they still want in life away from them? On the other hand, I can’t see myself spending decades with someone I didn’t truly know or love at the same time. I was so incredibly conflicted and confused and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think I could tell anyone at the time. My parents, of course not, and friends I didn’t know if I could trust enough with such a crucial aspect of my life.
Because of this confusion with no one to share, I became completely lost, and it showed in the most unfortunate way possible. I became somewhat distant and less involved with K. We didn’t talk much at all after a while. For instance, in our chemistry class (the semester after I got her number) we sat right next to each other by pure coincidence and barely talked to each other. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I opened and closed my mouth so many times, confused. I wanted to talk to her, I still really liked her, but then the problem with my parents still existed. We kind of drifted over time. I still texteƒd her every once and a while, but it was nowhere near what it was before, even though I still liked her a lot. Eventually, I just ended up hiding these feelings since I didn’t have an outlet.
Fast forward about 1.5 years later. About a month ago, we happened to be going on the same field trip. On the way back, we were sitting right next to each other, and I ended up starting a conversation. We talked for most of the way back. During this time, all of the feelings I had previously hidden came flooding back to me. I realized how much I still liked her. For the next month, all I could think about is her, what happened 1.5 years ago and how I stopped talking as much and my parents. For the next month, we texted fairly often, but it was usually me starting conversations. It’s all that was on my mind. It was driving me insane. One sleepless night I decided it was time to confess to her all of this.
Four days ago, we ended up talking for a bit after I asked her a few days earlier. I told her all of what I said above. I told her how I liked her then, how I like her now. I also apologized over and over again for not talking to her earlier about my problem with my parents and instead just becoming shy and less talkative with her. I said that it made me feel really, really terrible that I did such a bad thing, and hoped she would forgive me. After I was done talking, she asked me what the end goal of the conversation was. I told her I didn’t entirely know. I know for sure that I wanted to say sorry for my actions, but I didn’t know myself what else I held this conversation for. Then she started talking. She said that 1.5 years ago when we first started talking the feelings between us were mutual. She said she felt towards me what I had towards her. However, she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be more than friends now. She also said that it wasn’t entirely my fault for not talking as much, because she said that it takes two people in order to stop a conversation. She said that she admits she didn’t talk as much as she once did. Basically, she told me she liked me before, but now didn’t know/thinks it's best to just stay friends. I said that I really like hestill do, but that I understood that I screwed up big time the first time, and agreed that we can be friends.
Immediately after we said goodbye and she left, I basically crumpled to the ground in a sobbing mess. I regretted not asking hetelling her 1.5 years ago when we first started talking. I couldn’t help but feel that things could’ve worked out differently if I had asked her out then. I was really hoping she would express that she was still interested in me, but that wasn’t the case and I was devastated. I really did like her, and it felt like I was the first idiot in the world to be friendzoned AFTER she was interested in me.
I told two friends about everything a week before I had my conversation with her. After I told them what she said, they both pretty much said that I need to just relax, and just let life unfold before me. One told me to just let it go by accepting what happened and doing what made me happy. Perhaps I’d get another chance with her, maybe not, but I’d certainly lose more chances if I remained hung up. The other told me just to resume normal friendship
I also told a teacher that I’m really close with. She basically said to just keep trucking through life and talk to her as I normally would and not change anything. She said that if K liked me before and the biggest reason why she doesn't now is simply because of the time we didn’t talk much, then it may be the case I might get another chance if I talked to her normally.
And now I don’t know what to do, how to get over her, and I’m just so scared and lost in this incessantly tumbling life.
Thank you, internet stranger, for listening to me!
submitted by PositivelyPositive12 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


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