I typed this in response to an older post asking "what is a rave".
Because I and so many others feel strong about the answer I thought it best to post anew for visibility and community awareness:
What is a Rave... Really?
"Late post but OG here.
Me: Mid 50s. First rave was in 87. Have been documenting it world wide on and off since about then.
EDM festival and club cultures are NOT raving.
Raves are by definition, despite what's being sold by corporations, influencer and newbies... Underground, DIY, community based and thrown, gatekept, anti corporate, as close to non profit as possible and in general the polar opposite of everything that is EDM, festival and club culture.
Raves were started as a secret place, event and culture where the misfits of society could go to get away from mainstream, profit driven culture.
An easy litmus test is that if you buy your tickets through Ticketmaster and the like, or are paying more than a buck or two for water, it's absolutely not a rave.
Raves are events thrown by the dancers for the dancers. No DJ worship, no corporate sponsors, and absolutely gatekept to keep the vibes pure.
If it isn't a private locally run event and crowd. It's not a rave.
I started documenting rave culture in 89. I've sat with, danced with and or interviewed most of the godfathers. Juan Atkins, David Mancuso, Larry levan, Pete bones, Danny Tenglia, Carl Cox, Danny Rampling, Greg Wilson ect. I have hundreds of hours of interview footage where these greats specifically stated what I'm saying here. That this was 1000 percent an underground and self supporting movement. And to a man they all considered the commercialization of these "temporary autonomous zones" to be a dilution if not destruction of everything that rave culture stands for.
Themes that have always been foundational are this being a DIY community based event that strove to avoid for profit, corporate, and or outside influences. DJ worship was heavily discouraged. In fact for years even putting a light on the selectors for my camera to capture was usually discouraged. Even though drugs were present as they are in any music scene, alcohol, coke and heavy drugs were avoided and shunned in favor of light psychedelics MDMA primarily and getting high on the community and vibe, and above all, dancing.
Raving is the opposite of "look at me!" DJ worship, influencer based, corporate controlled EDM culture.
PLUR is absolutely a notion that can and should be spread far and wide. But to call an EDM festivals "Raving" is offensive to most of the OGs, at least the ones who aren't ego or profit driven.
Most OG ravers WOULD REALLY appreciate it if the EDM kids would just embrace their own scene and stop trying to label it as raves. It feels deeply like cultural appropriation and shows a significant ignorance and lack of understanding and history, let alone intent. And it gives real raves a bad name, same as it did in the late 90s when we first got overrun by irresponsible, clueless and or greedy people.
If you can please help explain this to the newbies and encourage them to stop using the term incorrectly. "
✌️♥️

I am a chronic soda drinker. I drink almost nothing but Coke. I need to stop. I'm aware but I can't figure out how?
Problem 1: So I don't know how else to put this, but unless water is really hot or really cold, drinking it is awful for me. I have yet to meet a water bottle that keeps it at enough of a temperature that I don't hate it. My brain zones in on it and decides that it's spit and then I get nauseous.
Problem 2: Tea works but that's barely better than soda and if it gets too room temperature my body freaks out on me. I also have yet to find a flavor packet that doesn't taste awful for me or that masks the feel of water in my mouth. (I don't have another way to describe it.)
Any recommendations that you guys have if coke was your go to? I know it's ridiculous, but I'm at a loss.

This is almost a month late! It's taken time to reflect and collect my thoughts, as well as rewrite this 50 times over*! There's a blog post about it with pictures and maps for those interested. Apologies if I'm not allowed to post links!
* see one of my lessons further down about over thinking of things!

TL;DR

This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

Goals

1. 3:20:00 - Fail
2. 3:30:00 - Fail
3. 3:40:00 - Pass
4. Bonus: Experience it - Pass
5. Bonus: Raise money for WWF - £800+

Results

Time: 3:38:21
Position: 12,670/ ~50,000+ (masses)

Report

It was a bright and sunny, but bitterly cold morning. Wind chill was around 0°C. As I threw off my warm layers, and approached the starting gate, I was at the peak of my anxiety. It had been building for days, probably weeks. Finally, I was only metres from the London Marathon start line and everything I had been working towards over the last 4 months was finally being released. The emotion was palpable. Tears moistened my eyes briefly . I could feel the stress starting to evaporate as I crossed the start line. I knew that this was it. Everything I had trained for, everything I had read and learned all needed to be implemented to the letter if I was to get my marathon PB.
3 hours, 38 minutes and 21 seconds later, I was crossing the finish line without a PB. My anxiety and nerves had been replaced with elation and exhaustion. There was pain and nausea mixed with joy and pride. I had a London Marathon medal around my neck finally! There was a tinge of regret that I didn’t get my PB, but after the last few hours, I was more than happy to have made it to the end, and done it in a good time.
The last few hours had been a rollercoaster of emotions. The whole of London had come out along with my family. This was London on one of it’s best days. But it hadn’t all been smooth sailing.
As I had stumbled over the finish line the first thing I wanted to do was stop, lie down and try not to be sick. I’d spent the last 10km struggling hard when my legs just ran out of energy. I hadn’t been topping up with gels since around 25km after getting at stitch, whilst simultaneously feeling sick and hungry. I didn’t have any reserves left in my legs and kept having to stop, stretch and walk. The support kept me going. Incredible crowds kept me going. “Go on Carl. Keep going!”. High fives kept me going! Knowing I had family out there supporting me kept me going, and having people who had made charity donations on my behalf to the WWF kept me going.
But where did my energy go? This all comes back to the anxiety that had been building over the last few days and weeks. From the Wednesday my appetite had just fallen off a cliff. When I did eat, it was just butterflies and they have next to no carbs! I always get race nerves, but that’s normally on the race morning so it doesn’t really affect the carbo-loading during the previous days.

Let's go!

The start went perfectly. I had said to myself, run the first third with my head, the second with my legs and the third with my heart. I didn’t go off too fast, in-fact I had stuck almost exactly to the 4:44/km pace I needed despite the long downhill in the first few km.
I was actually having fun. High fiving all the kids! Enjoying the atmosphere. It was busy on and off the course. there was almost a fun run atmosphere. It didn’t feel like a race, and my legs felt really good. By the time I arrived at the Cutty Sark, 10k in, I felt like everything had bedded down and I was just gliding along. The only issue at this point was my vest starting to rub, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. Somewhere in the crowds was my wife, Shadia, cheering me on but it was that busy I didn’t see her.
At almost the half way mark, is one of the iconic landmarks on the course, Tower Bridge. I got my phone out to take some photos and was surprised to find myself heading up hill. It’s probably the first uphill on the course that’s noticeable and by the time I was halfway across my HR was in the red zone, but I didn’t really notice until after because the crowd here were electric, and the backdrop was incredible. The course narrows over the bridge as you pass under the iconic towers, and on each side there’s people 5 deep cheering everyone on.
Then before you know it, you’ve crossed over and started towards Canary Wharf. I hit the half way mark with a 1:41:55. I was a little behind target, but my pace was good and I had just ran one of my top 5 half marathon paces. On the other side of the road, the pros flew past which was awesome to see and really makes it feel like a big event being on the same course as olympians and world record holders. They have a head start, so it’s not really fair!
It had all being going well, until it wasn’t. As I got towards 25/26km I started to get the sense that the easy bit was over. It started with a stitch, which meant that I just couldn’t keep up the pace. I put this down to 2 things. Coke, and shortbread. Since I hadn’t managed to carbo-load due to the anxiety over the previous days, I had decided to nibble some shortbread all morning before the start in an attempt to gain some energy. Likewise, before the race I’d needed a drink, and my thoughts went straight to something with sugar. Coke. Now a combo of carbonated sugar, and Scottish biscuits were enacting their revenge!
After backing off the pace somewhat, the stitch mostly went away, but I didn’t want it back, and made the mistake of stopping eating my energy gels or drinking much water. About 5km later, in the low 30km range my pace started to fall away from me. People say that the halfway point in a marathon is about 30km. I now understand why. The last 12km felt like more effort than the first 21km. Every time I looked at my watch I could see my pace dropping and felt my PB attempt slipping though my fingers. I would slow, then a dinosaur or a seagull would overtake me and it would spur me on for 500m, then I’d slow and someone would yell “Go Carl” and it would be another 300m or so.
Even when I arrived at Big Ben and I knew it was 1km to go, it felt like an almost insurmountable task. Flashing back to October last year and the Chester Marathon, the last 1km had been hard, but I still had something in the tank. This was just running on fumes. The only thing I didn’t want to do was to walk that final bit. I could see my time was now looking nearer to exceeding 3:40 and if I walked then my final target would have been missed. I just had to grit my teeth and slog on.
400m to go and it was “just one loop around a track”. That felt like a big ask, but I forced myself with all my remaining effort not to slow or walk. Finally rounding the corner in front of the palace with about 200m to go, the finish line appeared into sight. Can I summon up a sprint finish? No. not even a slight uptick in pace. That’s how empty my tank was. Just put one foot in front of the other and reel it in and try not to trip over the timing mats at the finish line. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was over. LonDone! Someone placed a medal around my neck and I finally the magnitude of what I’d done finally struck home “I’ve got a London Marathon medal. I’ve actually got one. Wow.”
Almost immediately as I finish, Shadia called me to try and meet up. I’m trying to explain where I am and how we can meet but my brain just doesn’t have the ability. It’s a mess.

It’s hard to describe to someone how f**ked you feel when you finished something like a marathon. It’s not like being tired from doing a 5K when you start out running. It’s not like your first 10K either, or even a half marathon. Your body is just exhausted. Every muscle aches. You have no energy. After 30km your energy supplies have dwindled and you are left tired and broken.

Eventually Shadia gets some sense out of me and we try to figure out a place to meet. A bit dazed and confused I shuffled off towards blankets, Lucozade and the exits. It’s busy, so we change the plan a few times, finally ending in Charring cross for a celebratory beer, before heading back to base. And with that, the London Marathon is done.

Route

It's a pretty well known route (see my linked post for the route map)

Kit

• WWF Vest
• Salomon Running Vest
• INOV-8 Race shorts
• Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next% 2
• Darn tough socks
• Garmin HR Pro band
• Garmin Epix 2
• Shockz OpenRun headphones
• Salomon 500ml bottles (water)
• SiS energy gels (various flavours)

Lessons

Post race I jotted down my thoughts in a mind-map so I could quickly explore how things went. This isn't something I have tried before, but it worked really well to quickly surmise the whole event, training and experience of the London Marathon.

Nutrition and energy

My fuelling pre race, was s**t. I know this. I should have been aiming for 600-700g of carbs a day from the Wednesday onwards and failed hard. This hit me hard in the race. that was the fabled wall. There’s nothing more to say about this.
There’s 2 things I’m looking at to fix this. Other types of gel. Energy drinks on the days leading up to it. I think I can handle them despite the anxiety and it’s a good way to load up some carbs at least!

Training plan and goals

I set out in January a goal to beat my Chester PB of 2023. 3:32:36. For Chester I had done no specific training, although I already had a regime with a lot of base (Z3) runs, ParkRun’s ran as races most Saturdays and a long run each week, with a few bing half marathons. There were about 2 30km+ runs over the 4 months before. I was probably averaging 50km per week.
For the London Marathon I started training on the first of January, following my Garmin Epix’s suggested runs. This pushed me pretty well, and was a good mix of long, hard and easy runs. The problems with this arose when Idris went back to nursery and the germs got him! That meant rubbish sleep, and the suggested runs tried to be nice, which meant it was all short and easy.
I started looking at a range of plans which could push me hard enough, whilst also not taking up every waking hour with running. I can’t remember now, because I didn’t write it down, but the closest I got was Jack Daniels advanced or Pfitz 12/50, but both of these still weren’t quite a good enough match, so the only option was to roll my own.
This boiled down to a simple plan:

• Monday: Z2 / Recovery
• Tuesday: Sprints / hills
• Wednesday: Z2 / Recovery
• Thursday: Threshold or intervals
• Friday: Z2 / Recovery
• Saturday: Long run at base, increasing to 33km
• Sunday: Base

Most runs ended up being around 10k in length apart from the long runs. I also dropped ParkRuns on a Saturday so that I could focus on the sprints/intervals and long runs without being too knackered. From February my long runs were around 21km, but during March I started to push these to 33km. All the time this was going on, my predicted Marathon time was improving from low 3:30s towards the low 3:20s. So far so good.
Because of this shift in my predicted time I changed my goal from beating my PB, to going for 3:20. This was probably a mistake, and I should have looked at RunAlyze’s predicted time which takes into account weekly mileage and longest runs over the period. It turned out to be more accurate. I think if i’d gone out of the gate slower, or dropped my pace and continued fuelling when the stitch arrived I wouldn’t have hit such a wall and missed my PB. Lesson learned.

Anxiety and stress

I over think. A lot. Not being at home the lead up added to my stress. Travelling down a few days before and trying to incorporate sightseeing really didn’t help. Add into the mix, trying to do sightseeing with family and help coordinate where to watch was probably the another nail in my PB attempt.
One other aspect around this event was the historic significance of it to me. My previous job, starting 15+ years ago, had revolved around the London Marathon like the earth around the sun. It was seen as one of the pinnacles of the road race calendar. Back then I didn’t even run, but a large part of me started running due to this. Because of Realbuzz I ran my first half marathon and for years I have tried, and failed, to get on to the London Marathon, so to finally be able to run it, and to be in a position where I can run it well (pushing for a PB) was a lot of self inflicted pressure.
My solution is to more races of a big nature. Keeping me out of my comfort zone can only help me get used to it. Mixed in with better planned travel/sightseeing and I might just be race ready. I hope so, because I’m signed up to Chester and Yorkshire marathons in October already!

Fundraising

Remember when you were a kid and did charity fundraising for 5p a length of the pool, or something like that! Well, I hadn't really done any since then. When I signed up for the London Marathon to raise money for the World Wildlife Fund it was always something I kept pushing back to do later. I was a little nervous to ask for donations. When my WWF vest arrived, I knew it was time to grow up and just ask.
The reality is that you have to pester people. Some will love your cause, or your dedication and other’s not so much. You’ll get something from someone and then the ball is rolling. The lesson is, do it ASAP so you have time to ask again, and again in different ways.
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Carl-Topham
Thanks to every who donated, liked and shared my campaign. As one UK supermarket says… every little helps.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always been worried about running out of water. That was never going to happen if I’d looked at the route maps. Every 5km is plenty. I ran with a vest so I could carry 1 litre of water! That’s excessive and caused my running vest to rub and then bleed. This wasn’t a show stopper until a few days after, but unless I’m out on the trails, or self supporting, then a smaller waist pack should be enough.

It’s not all bad

Family support throughout my training and accommodation for my long runs especially from Shadia. They’ve been flexible and allowed me to have time to do what I needed to do which has massively helped.
In the last month or so I started to add in some strength training. Mainly press ups and sit ups with some stretching also. Unlike last years Chester marathon, it may have contributed to me being able to continue running only days after. Chester crippled me for over 2 weeks.

Final thoughts

I’m doing it again, somehow, some day. While it was a very hard day, especially the second “half”, the sheer atmosphere and emotion just made it epic.
This was THE race for me. While I didn’t get the result I wanted to, it was an incredible, enjoyable experience that I already look back on with fondness and pride. I think there are some valuable lessons to take away from it which I can apply already so hopefully this will be a notable stepping point in my running achievements.This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!

This was my first Formula E race and oh boy if you live near Berlin or can get a cheap train connection, it is absolutely worth it. We bought the fan village tickets which cost 10€ for a day because we first wanted to get a feeling for the event before spending 49€+ for a grandstand seat (which are never sold out and can be purchased on the same day). We also got the autograph session ticket which was free (and amazing).
Race experience
The fan village covered about a third of the track and you were able to get a good view of the start/finish line, the best corner of the circuit, and were able to watch the rest of the race via the screens. There was a trackside bar area where they set up an elevated platform to stand on, giving you an even better view. On the Sunday event we were given free grandstand tickets like 5 minutes before the race started, however was a right place right time situation that may be hard to replicate. The racing itself was crazy on Saturday. The lead of the race changed more times than I can count, 90% of the cars had damaged / missing wings by the end and there was contact in every corner. Overall it was really exciting to watch.
Organization
The organization was top-notch. No long queues, you could leave and re-enter the area, there was free water, screens everywhere and the layout was great as well, the visitors were nicely spread out. In between the sessions, there were some music acts if that's your thing, sim driving and free electric karting, if you want to spend an hour in line. There were many activities for little kids. Outside of that, there were some stands of companies where you were able to play some games, but those were not that interesting IMO. The prices for food and drinks were good for a motorsport event. We got a meal for 6€ and if you didn't want the free water, a beer or coke was about 5€, you were allowed to bring your own food.
Autograph Session
I don't see a reason not to get this free upgrade. For a time frame of one hour, you get access to the paddock and can see the garages, the teams working on the cars, and the drivers up close. It wasn't too crowded and I was able to get 6 autographs, some from popular drivers from my country and some just because there was no one in line and I felt sorry for the drivers lol.
Travel
We traveled by train, the public transport was quite good and you were able to get to the area and back with the S-Bahn / underground. AirBNBs and cheap Hotel prices are alright but many people just visited for the quali / race and left the city. Since you were able to leave and reenter the site, you could spend your time outside of the event zone and Berlin has a lot to offer.
I can recommend giving this a shot, the entire event felt like twice as many guests were expected, and for that price, it was about the best value-for-money motorsport event I have ever visited!

We need to remember that Zone has many residents, and not everyone goes there for the same reason.
"I was collecting bottles, one after another, and they led me here... Ha-ha! I'm kidding, man! Truth is, there was no place for me in that other world, it didn't want me. In the end, I came here... first to the Zone and then to Clear Sky. The guys here are alright, and I'm needed here. They come back after a mission, I pour them a drink, tell a few dirty jokes and my job is done - simple, but effective. By the way, they call me Cold around here."
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/DhqrJN.jpg
"The Zone enchanted me. I was just passing by, kind of like a tourist, and got hooked. The thing is, the people here are real, be they friend or foe. The danger, the feeling that death lurks behind every corner - that's what makes us city slickers feel alive! And I enjoy every minute of it." - Dialogue of Random Cordon Loner in Clear Sky
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/KC5fdN.jpg
"I listened to a bunch of fairytales about the Zone and was foolish enough to believe them. But, as I quickly learned, it's a lot different when you're on the inside. I turned out to be a softer cookie than I thought. Dying is easy here, and collecting artifacts is not. But what's really killing me is that there's not a peaceful spot in the whole damn Zone. Even when I fall asleep, half of me stays awake." - Another dialogue of Random Cordon Loner
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/n2PtFZ.jpg
"You mean what do I do in the Zone? I'm hiding from some nosy former pals of mine. Back on the outside they would go on and on with their questions and lectures on life... So we had an... altercation. I hope you're not here to start all that morality shit again, are you? No? Good, then just keep walking." - Dialogue of Random Garbage Bandit in Clear Sky
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/NtL572.jpg
"I was doing backstreet business back in the Soviet Union when I got caught on a major deal. I did my time like a man, made some good buddies and connections with the underworld crowd, and when I got out I started buying up goods from burglars. I got nicked again and did some more time, but when I got out the Soviet Union was dead and buried. I never managed to adjust to the changes - I was broke and living a shit life... but then the Zone appeared, and I bolted here right away. This place immediately reminded me of the good old days, so I became a trader without a second thought." - Dialogue of bandit trader Tooth
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/WaeYgA.jpg
"What do you mean, "someone like you" Sure, I didn't graduate from no damn academy but I've got the hands for this kind of work - I was the best specialist at my plant, with medals, commendations and all. I would celebrate that kinda stuff with my friends over some drinks until our boss reported us and we all got fired. That son of a bitch! That plant was real high-profile 'cause we were working for the defense industry. After that, I got a job as a technician at the local housing office. They always came to me if something happened 'cause I was the only pro around. Some people slipped me a little cash or poured me a good drink and things were sweet... until I had a little fight with a plumber over a bottle - it got a bit heated and I stabbed the bastard with a screwdriver. He lived, but I got a stretch in a penal colony, and by the time I got back my crib was empty - the wife left me... I got real depressed and got me a case of jimjams. I lost the house through pure stupidity and became homeless. That's when I made my way here. And you know what? They treat me right in this place 'cause I know what I'm doing. And I'm the same, sometimes I even accept a good bottle as payment for work... keep that in mind." - Dialogue of Limpid
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/SY2B8N.jpg
"I'm looking for adventure in the Zone, and I get plenty of that here in the Dark Valley. I have the opportunity to do that thanks to Freedom, and I don't care how pompous that may sound." - Dialogue of Random Dark Valley Freedomer
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/SQMzO3.jpg
Dialogue of Freedom barman Ganja, while not directly stating the exact reason why Ganja came to the Zone, does says that it was a real negative story:
"You're not asking the right question, bro. You should be asking how Ganja the barman, Ganja the hookah man, Ganja, the man who partied with all sorts of friends in all sorts of places, ended up in the Zone. But I ain't answering that, bro. That's a negative story and I'm a positive kind of guy. I found myself here. That's the way the cookie crumbles. I was on my own and I felt cosmic loneliness, bro. Yeah, man, it was real bad. But then I felt positive vibrations...coming from Freedom. I knew they were my kind of people. I had a choice, but my doubts were gone. I found my freedom - now I live a better life than most people in that crazy world outside the Zone. Here I have enough to drink, enough to smoke, I have the Zone and people who share their stories about it with me...Damn, this local weed is just pure suckage!"
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/YJwrv7.jpg
"Me, I'm from a small town. Finished high school, served in the army. Got out - no jobs, no use going to college... Make a long story short, I got through the boot camp and landed right here. Actually, I served at the Cordon at first. Once a colonel of ours decided he needed a rare artifact to heal him up. Didn't like the idea of hiring stalkers, so our squad got the "job." The map they gave us was thirty friggin' years old. Those bastards... Less than a few hours in half our guys were already gone from anomalies. Then the dogs, then the bloodsuckers. Before the day was done it was just sarge and myself. Thank God we had our medkits, so we managed to crawl over to Duty's base. My leg got all hacked up - I was lucky to keep it after all that. Anyway, Duty folks put us back on our feet and showed us the way back. They're real men who live a good, simple life, and I've made a lot of friends during my stay. Anyway, soon as service was over, I grabbed my things and came right back into the Zone. I found Duty's base and asked to join, and hey, they took me in." - Dialogue of Kolobok
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/rbzkaU.jpg
"I'm just your average Joe, no different from anyone else. I've always been a rolling stone though. When I was ten I took off for China to study Shaolin martial arts. They took us off the freightliner three days later, and my dad gave me a real good thrashing. When I got older I spent all my time travelling - hitchhiked across Europe, spent a winter with chukchas. Then the Zone emerged. At the time I was friends with one girl Leska - also a thrill-seeker, like me. Well, she thought we were friends, though I felt a little different... Anyway, one day I was looking for Leska and some friends told me she'd gone to the Zone. Right away I get my things, grab a pistol with some rubber bullets and head straight here. I made it thanks to all my travelling experience. I spent months searching for her, carrying her photo and showing it to everybody. Finally a stalker told me some international troops apprehended Leska with some pretty boy near the Zone's border. Gave the two a lecture and sent them home. So, I thought, God bless you, Leska, God bless. I didn't go back home then. And now I'm just kind of stuck to the Zone." - Dialogue of Orest
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/fum7AJ.jpg
"I've always been drawn to new territories. I mean, I came to the Zone because I got tired of monotonous routine on the outside, and in these parts there are always secrets to uncover. The other thing is the cash. You need food and ammo, but you can only get coin for loot. I'm also hoping someone finds a way of getting past the Scorcher, 'cause as soon as they do I'll be the first one to the center of the Zone. I've only got one sacred wish - for the Zone to disappear." - Dialogue of Random Army Warehouses Loner
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/pTsN2A.jpg
"I wish I knew something old about it. We're mercenaries, buddy. We go into the Zone to complete a specific mission, and rely on careful planning and outstanding preparation to achieve our objectives." - Dialogue of Hog's merc(s)
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/Z5bkBI.jpg
"Bes's my name. I came to these parts three years ago. Like many of the guys in the Zone I'm a fugitive, wanted for two murders and GBH. A few years ago a friend of mine got battered pretty bad - they had to literally stitch him back together at the hospital. So I paid the bastards who did it a little "visit". When the coppers showed up I had to shoot one of them and jump out of a third-floor window - I've been here since. I've done well in this place but the list of my crimes has got a little longer too. I try to fight the lawless just as I did on the outside. I train up rookies and teach them to survive in the Zone." - Dialogue of Bes
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/pchRZm.jpg
"Where do I begin... I guess it goes back to high school. I had a good buddy, a best friend, if you will. We hung out together, smoking, drinking and whatnot. Only he wanted more and more thrills. He got into drugs: some weed at first, then smach and then coke, when he started getting some coin. I told him, "You gotta get off this shit, Tolyan, before it's too late." But he didn't listen. He scored some bad shit one day and that was that. I found his dealers and got even for my buddy... Got my picture took and all hell broke loose - the slammer, the gang fights, the shiv in the belly... Got out, started a business, got busted again... When I got out again, I left all that shit behind and set my sights on the Zone. Spent a couple months toughing it out, then got promoted. So now I'm in charge here, upholding the local law." - Dialogue of Sultan
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/fL49Ce.jpg
"When I worked at the surgeon clinic, it was easy to cover up. There was always a surplus of donor blood to be had. But the Zone was different... I thought that this harsh environment would push my condition to the sidelines. But I was wrong. I experienced the most terrible explosion of all and just couldn't think of anything else. I decided to make the killings look like bloodsucker attacks. I usually picked targets that were already wounded." - Dialogue of Tremor
Additional proof: https://snipboard.io/NzmA7n.jpg

It is easily the best song on 2AN and one of the most original, unique, musically interesting tracks they’ve ever made. I honestly feel like it must have come to the principal writer in a flash. It’s such an oddly beautiful progression, and the structure is so intelligent.
-Tom Barney’s mind blowing bass playing under a harmony and melody that is too beautiful to even make sense to have conceived of to begin with; the way the bass almost groans back at the guitar lines
-The dramatic key changes and the melancholic chord choices
-The speed and urgency, yet the slowness and defeat of the rhythm, almost manically regretful
-The beautifully clean and complimentary guitar riffs that wash over the track like glass waterfalls, one in the right ear doing stark chord splashes and one in the left meandering with rhythmic, icy notes
-The mood and atmosphere created by lyrics like “i wait, i smoke, i stare into my coke”, “she’s in the zone, crying on the phone”, “maybe she gets to me when she comes back down” and “staggering out into the burn of the brain dead dawn, to arrive in time to find her gone.”
-How the progression sounds so crystalline and delicate, with the ballooning, almost flanged Rhodes lines that spill and grow into each other
-The guitar accents that decorate the verses and descend so thoughtfully, and how there’s just the right amount of distortion blended in to give it that edginess
Don’t get me wrong I love every Steely Dan track. This one might not be my absolute favorite, but it stands out among all of them as being in some kind of league of its own.
I don’t mean to start an argument but it’s complete insanity to me that someone could DISLIKE this track. It’s just something else completely and I love it so much.

The people involved are me(38F) and my husband (38M)
So this is a long one, And I am sure I am going to miss a lot of key points, so just ask and I will be happy to expand on things.
About 10+ years ago my husband, married now 9 years but have been together for 14 years, discovered he had ADD, we got him on the meds in the hopes it would help him at work, and to focus and etc.
Problem is my husband had a past history of drug abuse one I naively thought wouldn't be a big deal as long as it was prescribed by a doctor and monitored every 2 months. Boy was I wrong. At one point last year we had seen a new doctor, and she wanted to take him off the meds, he was at 30mg 3 times a day. EVERY DAY. He always handled his pill bottle. And anytime he would tell me he was out, at times I would catch how soon he would be out. Come to find out he would finish them (90 pills) within 2-3 weeks, and the friend he helped get on them (told them what to tell their doctor) would help supply him and they would trade pills (weaker mg) until he got through. Well when this doctor took him off of his pills, he and his friend (who is very single and has nothing to lose), decided to start making a version of speed. Trying multiple times, luckily failing, but he even brought the supplies to our house and made it in our shop late at night. They did this, until we made the decision to put him back on the Adderall.
During the time he was on these pills, he would zone out and only care about what he wanted to do, we have a now 5 year old, and he wouldn't pay him any attention. Even when I would leave our son in his care, he would only sleep. He would sleep, or play on his VR, we wouldn't have sex but 1 time a month - 3 months, We wouldn't have any time for us, because he was too busy doing what he wanted to do. which caused many fights and I always found porn on his VR, his phone, his computer. It was not the normal amount. He was mean, neglectful, and he just overall acted shady. Never putting his phone down. It got to the point I thought he was cheating, but with no proof... I just told myself the moment I had to look at his phone, it meant it was over.
One morning, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think of anything else. I HAD to know, but what I found was WORSE than cheating. He was abusing his pills for a good 8-10 months before I finally found out. It was him talking about making drugs, and on and on. Even as far as taking coke on his lunch break. Even as far as trying to set something up to buy more drugs out of town, but I apparently had got in the way of that. That night. This friend helped him along the way. So I confront him within hours, with every intention of leaving, but I didnt. I set up a strict schedule with his pills, he now had to be tracked, and he would slowly have to earn back my trust and he had a year to make any kind of headway with it. Basically he needed to show me he was serious about changing. Found out the pills were a huge part of our problem. And one by one he slowly gets all the restrictions off (besides controlling his pill bottle) He had a set amount of pills each week. Just 2-3 weeks ago. I had that bad feeling again. The unshakable I need to know feeling again. So I check his pill case. He had taken more in 1 hour then he had EVER took at a time. 9. Plus 3 pills that help him "down there" (The Pills were the problem with that, and creating a porn addiction) Go figure. I don't know how I stayed so calm, and still gave him a chance but I did. I tried to not let it set us back too much. I think it hit him harder than it did me. But I had just gotten where I could trust him again. Now its broken. Not completely but even though I knew this could happen, it still makes me angry and hurt.
Now to my problem today. The shortage has taken him off his Adderall, and I am so worried he will start seeking other forms to get the high he needs. All he does is sleep, which I see may be normal. But I honestly dont know what to do. I have been dealing with this by myself. He gets mean, or he sleeps. But I refuse to be treated how I was before. But I know I need to be understanding, its such a fine line. But I honestly dont know what to do anymore, and I have been dealing with this by myself. I always have to be the bad guy but I feel like I have to be the parent because he wont step up. Which creates more tension, I honestly think I am starting to resent him, for choosing this over his family. Or at least this is how it makes me feel. I want to be there for him, but at the same time, I don't know how much I can be mentally. Does anyone have any recommendations?
Please excuse any grammar, spelling or any issues its late at night and I honestly am having a hard time with this, and don't really know where to turn. I have been fighting severe depression during this time.

The first time i did 1 tab of acid well i did one and a half i tripped balls. I was 15. And then i after like 2 weeks i did 3 tabs at skyzone. And i still tripped more the first time. (before the first time doing acid i did shrooms i did not weight them and i did like 0.6-7 grams. So I did not trip.) and the sky zone thing was fun. After that i did like 5 and a half tabs in a apartment building stairwell i slept in with my friends. This was about 4 days after the skyzone. And i did not get high i didnt see barly anything at all. but i got super sick. i was puking but i didnt eat anything so i was puking but not pucking up anything
and then Like one week later. I did 7 and a half tabs 1400 ug trip. At 15 with no good experience and did not have any knowldge about the drug. I was not really seeing anything like cool visuslas like i did on when i did 1 tab. But i was walking on the grass with my friends. and i felt like i was going nowhere. I was walking on a treadmill and the treadmill was the grass. It was cool. Then i started to get scared and panic and i fell on the floor and started rolling around cause i couldnt hadle the discomfort. (At the time i was doing drugs weed and vaping. and lsd. lots of weed. I was taking money from my grandparents the people i live with. And a girl who i knew told my grandma the day that I was tripping and she texted me saying that she told her that. I was on my come up on 7 and half tabs and i had to go home and try to convice my grandma i did not take money. I went home with my friend. And i was talking to her and her face turned into a peace sign. I convinced her and me and my friend went into my room. idk i never had anything this significant happen. My blanket was black and it started to turn yellow. Then I puked out my window. And then it went away. Kind of just felt like a little less the skyzone trip on 3 tabs after that. We went out smoked weed and it was fun.
After that i did 4 tabs a couple months later it was cool with my girlfriends friend's house. I didnt like the people who I was with i did not know them so I stood outside cause i was uncomfortable. I gave other ppl acid they were tripping. and i spent time with my gf. Idk i felt weird like I knew myself. I didnt like who i was in the mirror but i was strong That was the first time i carried myself alot. I felt really good kind of. but i didint really like myself. By this time ive only tripped on shrooms once. I did 2 grams and i got uncomforatble. and just got a come up no peak. and i smoked some weed and was getting visuals. with friends.
and about like a year later almost. I did 6 tabs of acid and it was cool. I pucked on the come up. I knew some stuff about how to trip safely. and i didnt really feel much. I was suppriesed i thought i was going to trip balls but nah. Then i was smoking alot alot. and i got pretty high. I invited a friend. (i was in a abanadon building) and he was chill. I gave him weed. and yea. Then we went outside. And everything looked like a cartoon. It was crazy. I didnt really get to embrace it tho cause i was worried about the person I was with. and I went home alomst got caught. and went into my room. And i Was 100% real. I knew where I was. I was living in a box. a small box. But I felt fine withmy self. I was failing school. (grade 9 in the time of doing this trip.) Idk i didnt really care. And then I woke up.
Im in grade 10 now and know alot about acid and shrooms I want to do them not like i was before but to have learn and explore. after a year. I did 3 tabs and It was okay. i did not feel much the person who I was with ruined the trip. He was testing me and shit. He thought i was manipualting him so he started doing that to me. Since i was high he could manipulate my ego. And i felt myself becomeing into a different perosn. But i held on inntenoally. Because i didnt like the person who he was trying to make me think i was. (idk if he was showing me who i was behind my ego but i did not like that person.) so i held on and got up. I could not leave because I was sleeping over at his house. and we went home. I layed on the carpet. and it was good. I felt okay. besdies him in the room he was still testing me. i hated it. and i layed there for 5 hours until i fell asleep.
I want to trip so bad right now. I want to do like 10 tabs and just explore myself and learn about everything that I need to work on or what I want. idk tho i feel lost right now. So yea. i just wanted to write this. I have also done coke, crack, cystalmeth, molly, anitdepressents, and lots of weed and vaping. I am completely clean. and my parents do not know what i went through. my life as been shit. I feel lost as a person now. I feel empty. and I have beomome werid. Before i started doing drugs I was fine. but now im werid and have no friends people dont like me at school people want to fight me. My parents dont like me. (they dont understand me I am a good person in my eyes.) I am completely clean. I am healthy now. I run everyday I am strong menttaly and physically. I have no addictions not even one. And I am doing good in school I did alot bymyself and a little help from my grade 8 school. and now right now i feel lost idk who I am idk what I want to do. Idk how people feel about me. I dont fit in with society and idk. Death feels like a good option. I am doing good in school aswell.
I dont want to die becaue I am sad. I loggically thinking i feel like I want to die. Like in a good way. My life from now on does not seem worth it. I am a useless human being right now. I am werid and i dont see my life getting any better. (not inculding school or health wise.) idk what to do. I feel like a lost cause. I am 16 my mom is dead. My aunt died. My grandma who raised me is going to die. I live with my dad and he does not want me living there. cause he thinks im weird. and i fuck up alot there. idk i just feel like numb. i hate my life. Poeple at school fuck my self imaige they bully and i am expeted by the school to hang out with them. Please help

The first time i did 1 tab of acid well i did one and a half i tripped balls. I was 15. And then i after like 2 weeks i did 3 tabs at skyzone. And i still tripped more the first time. (before the first time doing acid i did shrooms i did not weight them and i did like 0.6-7 grams. So I did not trip.) and the sky zone thing was fun. After that i did like 5 and a half tabs in a apartment building stairwell i slept in with my friends. This was about 4 days after the skyzone. And i did not get high i didnt see barly anything at all. but i got super sick. i was puking but i didnt eat anything so i was puking but not pucking up anything
and then Like one week later. I did 7 and a half tabs 1400 ug trip. At 15 with no good experience and did not have any knowldge about the drug. I was not really seeing anything like cool visuslas like i did on when i did 1 tab. But i was walking on the grass with my friends. and i felt like i was going nowhere. I was walking on a treadmill and the treadmill was the grass. It was cool. Then i started to get scared and panic and i fell on the floor and started rolling around cause i couldnt hadle the discomfort. (At the time i was doing drugs weed and vaping. and lsd. lots of weed. I was taking money from my grandparents the people i live with. And a girl who i knew told my grandma the day that I was tripping and she texted me saying that she told her that. I was on my come up on 7 and half tabs and i had to go home and try to convice my grandma i did not take money. I went home with my friend. And i was talking to her and her face turned into a peace sign. I convinced her and me and my friend went into my room. idk i never had anything this significant happen. My blanket was black and it started to turn yellow. Then I puked out my window. And then it went away. Kind of just felt like a little less the skyzone trip on 3 tabs after that. We went out smoked weed and it was fun.
After that i did 4 tabs a couple months later it was cool with my girlfriends friend's house. I didnt like the people who I was with i did not know them so I stood outside cause i was uncomfortable. I gave other ppl acid they were tripping. and i spent time with my gf. Idk i felt weird like I knew myself. I didnt like who i was in the mirror but i was strong That was the first time i carried myself alot. I felt really good kind of. but i didint really like myself. By this time ive only tripped on shrooms once. I did 2 grams and i got uncomforatble. and just got a come up no peak. and i smoked some weed and was getting visuals. with friends.
and about like a year later almost. I did 6 tabs of acid and it was cool. I pucked on the come up. I knew some stuff about how to trip safely. and i didnt really feel much. I was suppriesed i thought i was going to trip balls but nah. Then i was smoking alot alot. and i got pretty high. I invited a friend. (i was in a abanadon building) and he was chill. I gave him weed. and yea. Then we went outside. And everything looked like a cartoon. It was crazy. I didnt really get to embrace it tho cause i was worried about the person I was with. and I went home alomst got caught. and went into my room. And i Was 100% real. I knew where I was. I was living in a box. a small box. But I felt fine withmy self. I was failing school. (grade 9 in the time of doing this trip.) Idk i didnt really care. And then I woke up.
Im in grade 10 now and know alot about acid and shrooms I want to do them not like i was before but to have learn and explore. after a year. I did 3 tabs and It was okay. i did not feel much the person who I was with ruined the trip. He was testing me and shit. He thought i was manipualting him so he started doing that to me. Since i was high he could manipulate my ego. And i felt myself becomeing into a different perosn. But i held on inntenoally. Because i didnt like the person who he was trying to make me think i was. (idk if he was showing me who i was behind my ego but i did not like that person.) so i held on and got up. I could not leave because I was sleeping over at his house. and we went home. I layed on the carpet. and it was good. I felt okay. besdies him in the room he was still testing me. i hated it. and i layed there for 5 hours until i fell asleep.
I want to trip so bad right now. I want to do like 10 tabs and just explore myself and learn about everything that I need to work on or what I want. idk tho i feel lost right now. So yea. i just wanted to write this. I have also done coke, crack, cystalmeth, molly, anitdepressents, and lots of weed and vaping. I am completely clean. and my parents do not know what i went through. my life as been shit. I feel lost as a person now. I feel empty. and I have beomome werid. Before i started doing drugs I was fine. but now im werid and have no friends people dont like me at school people want to fight me. My parents dont like me. (they dont understand me I am a good person in my eyes.) I am completely clean. I am healthy now. I run everyday I am strong menttaly and physically. I have no addictions not even one. And I am doing good in school I did alot bymyself and a little help from my grade 8 school. and now right now i feel lost idk who I am idk what I want to do. Idk how people feel about me. I dont fit in with society and idk. Death feels like a good option. I am doing good in school aswell.
I dont want to die becaue I am sad. I loggically thinking i feel like I want to die. Like in a good way. My life from now on does not seem worth it. I am a useless human being right now. I am werid and i dont see my life getting any better. (not inculding school or health wise.) idk what to do. I feel like a lost cause. I am 16 my mom is dead. My aunt died. My grandma who raised me is going to die. I live with my dad and he does not want me living there. cause he thinks im weird. and i fuck up alot there. idk i just feel like numb. i hate my life. Poeple at school fuck my self imaige they bully and i am expeted by the school to hang out with them. Please help

I've been playing GW1 since 2014 and over the years, I've been thinking what features and changes could still be implemented. A full-blown remaster would be a dream, but it's highly unrealistic, and depending on the quality of the remaster, it could end up being a downgrade for a lot of players.
Instead, I focused on changes and features that would bring the game to 2024 without potentially disrupting what's already there. Here's the list:

• Armor transmog

Pretty much self-explanatory, it could use the dye UI for actual transmog window and gold/plat as currency. The bulk of the work would be coding all armor pieces per class as skins to use and creating a working preview so we could preview appearance for multiple armor pieces at once (dye preview only shows changes to one armor piece at a time). I've thought about weapon transmog as well, but there's too many weapon appearances in the game to be doable by one person without them going insane (although there are many unique skins tied to weapons with terrible stats, so it would be nice to be able to change weapon appearance as well).

• Weapon mod trader

Rune traders have been added to the game in 2005 (trading runes and insignias), but there is no equivalent system for weapon mods and inscriptions. As a result, getting desired pieces for your characters and heroes requires either insane luck, or standing in Kamadan for days. This system would make finishing your builds much easier, although it would take a while for economy to adjust.

• Camera adjustments and fixes

GW1, being a sister project of WoW, inherited some engine bugs from that game. One particular bug I can think of is sudden camera snaps when you right-click. It makes the camera, and the character, veer off into a random direction very violently. From what I know, it has something to do with built-in mouse acceleration. While this bug has been eradicated in WoW around Pandaria or WoD, and during GW2 development, GW1 still suffer from it (and so did Classic WoW when it first launched, but it could be disabled via chat macro, I'm not sure if it was ever actually fixed). Additionally, there's few other camera quirks related to interacting with environment. Fixing these bugs would be a massive QoL to ensure smooth gaming for everyone. Additionally, I would love to see settings for camera position when zooming in, for when you'd like to take a screenshot of your character.

• Music reimplementation

Now, it might not be possible for legal reasons (especially as Jeremy Soule has disappeared from the face of earth after multiple controversies), but it would still be amazing if we got to have all bonus tracks reimplemented into the game, without having to rely on cracked Directsong app. I'm grateful that it's possible to achieve, but having it officially available would be really nice, especially for players who don't know about the missing music.

• Collector's Editions and bonus items in the official store

This topic has been talked to death, but 20 years later, I think it's high time to make Divine Aura, special dances, and exclusive minis and weapons available to all who desire it. I myself only managed to score Nightfall CE code, so I'm enjoying my Paragon and Dervish dances, and the Varesh mini, but as someone who mains Assassin, I'm still sad I never got the Factions, or Prop CE items. Additionally, pre-orders and other bonuses should make a return. There's 20 pre-order weapons for Prophecies (6 worldwide, 7 Japan-only, and 7 Taiwan-only), 2 for Factions, 2 for Nightfall, 3 for EotN. 7 Korea-only Coke items, and at least one more Korea-only item. Majority of them have unique appearances not found anywhere else, so it could be a perfect thing to combine with a potential weapon transmog system. These weapons could also be made available via vendors or drops, so that we could get the ones we want, without clogging the inventory with over 30 weapons at once)

• Special inventory space for minis (and maybe tonics) and other related QoL

One thing that stops me from ever using minis outside of towns is the fact they clog the inventory. There's plenty of cool minis, some of which are really rare. Having a special bag for (at least dedicated minis), available to all characters on the account at all times, with unlimited storage space (or one slot per every mini in the game) would be godsent. Not only it would clear up a lot of storage space, it would make using minis actually fun. Same goes for tonics, they clog the inventory or storage, and yet are mostly only usable in towns. Another thing that could be worked on is Tonic Tipsiness. 5 seconds is long for regular ones, but 30 seconds for everlasting tonics is just unreasonable and makes the whole thing not worth it. Additionally tonic effects could be extended from lasting 50 minutes to permanent (until you log out, zone etc.) for the long afk sessions in Kamadan.
And that's it. What are your thoughts on the list? What are your hopes for the 20th anniversary? Do you expect some new features and QoL, or you still live in hope of new content one day?

Welcome to iConLiving Roleplay!
Since day one, the goal of iConLiving Roleplay© leadership has been to embark on a unique journey and create a community unlike any other. We have made it our mission to create a community which embodies our values of professionalism, realism and quality.
We have dedicated numerous months to developing, obtaining, and integrating assets, systems, and documents. We also made sure to bring on board competent, humble leaders who share our common values and goals.
We have been dissatisfied with other communities that provide generic, uninteresting, unrealistic, and sometimes basic roleplay experiences. Leveraging our past experiences, we have adopted a fresh mindset to differentiate ourselves and set a new benchmark for realistic roleplay in fivem.
What Makes Us Different From Other Communities? One of the biggest differences between Southland Roleplay© and other Roleplay Communities, is our mindset of dedication to realism, in every aspect, be that from realistic employment opportunities, realistic character development to realistic scripts and mechanics within our FiveM server. We are the place to go for those who are interested in increasing their level of roleplay, immersion and enjoyability!
What sets iConLiving Roleplay© apart from other roleplay communities is our unwavering commitment to realism in every aspect. Whether it's providing realistic employment opportunities, fostering character development, or implementing realistic scripts and mechanics in our fivem server, we strive to create an immersive and enjoyable experience. If you're looking to enhance your roleplay, immersion, and overall enjoyment, iConLiving Roleplay© is the place to be.
Features that you might wanna hear about!
Custom Player Owned businesses! : Lots of police options! Be a BCSO, SWAT, CITY or STATE and work your way up from recruit to Commissioner! : Be a drug supplier! transport coke, opium, weed, morphine or heroin and many more! : Custom MLO Buildings and Ymap, Never seen before! : Custom drug effects! Also Drug growing in home and also become a farmer of drugs!, : Bank robberies, Vault Robberies, and much much more! * And many more!

 Civilian Jobs 

: Mining Job! : Fishing!
Construction Job! Gardening! Postman! Taxi : And plenty of Food restaurants. And many more
Here are a few of the things we offer in the city:
Smoke Store
UWU
Benihana
Realtor
Mirrors
Bahama Mamas
Strip club
LS Club
KOI
icon Auto shop
Check Fraud and Scamming
Hair Salon
Nail Salon /SPA
Hornys
Crazy Girls strip club
Pawnshop (gun plug)
Pub
9 Trey bloods hood
O’block
3 gyms (ownable)
Legion Square Hood
Amusement park (ownable)
PD (all positions)
EMS (positions)
Maxim Performance Autos
Paintball Arena
Custom MLO housing
And more. We have ebt cards and rose toy,hair,nails, lashes to sell for females to 17 plus drugs. (Not FCFS)
Corner selling along with zone drug selling
Scamming, fraud, gun plugging
Child support etc...
Fly in and check us out and grow with us!!!
In need of Admins, moderators and content creators!!!!
https://linktr.ee/iConlivingRP

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1036400933640355904/1114646845529014394/iConLiving_Logo_Transparent.png?ex=655919c5&is=6546a4c5&hm=256caca7a27555bb84ed7b13fd1bf19b68d296eca19bad960a021726eb241792&
Welcome to iConLiving Roleplay!
Since day one, the goal of iConLiving Roleplay© leadership has been to embark on a unique journey and create a community unlike any other. We have made it our mission to create a community which embodies our values of professionalism, realism and quality.
We have dedicated numerous months to developing, obtaining, and integrating assets, systems, and documents. We also made sure to bring on board competent, humble leaders who share our common values and goals.
We have been dissatisfied with other communities that provide generic, uninteresting, unrealistic, and sometimes basic roleplay experiences. Leveraging our past experiences, we have adopted a fresh mindset to differentiate ourselves and set a new benchmark for realistic roleplay in fivem.
What Makes Us Different From Other Communities? One of the biggest differences between Southland Roleplay© and other Roleplay Communities, is our mindset of dedication to realism, in every aspect, be that from realistic employment opportunities, realistic character development to realistic scripts and mechanics within our FiveM server. We are the place to go for those who are interested in increasing their level of roleplay, immersion and enjoyability!
What sets iConLiving Roleplay© apart from other roleplay communities is our unwavering commitment to realism in every aspect. Whether it's providing realistic employment opportunities, fostering character development, or implementing realistic scripts and mechanics in our fivem server, we strive to create an immersive and enjoyable experience. If you're looking to enhance your roleplay, immersion, and overall enjoyment, iConLiving Roleplay© is the place to be.
Features that you might wanna hear about!

• :briefcase: : Custom Player Owned businesses!
• :rotating_light: : Lots of police options! Be a BCSO, SWAT, CITY or STATE and work your way up from recruit to Commissioner!
• :pill: : Be a drug supplier! transport coke, opium, weed, morphine or heroin and many more!
• :world_map: : Custom MLO Buildings and Ymap, Never seen before!
• :herb: : Custom drug effects! Also Drug growing in home and also become a farmer of drugs!,
• :bank: : Bank robberies, Vault Robberies, and much much more!
• And many more!
  

   Civilian Jobs 

• :pick: Mining Job!
  
• :fishing_pole_and_fish: Fishing!
  
• :bear: Flower Picking!
  
• :axe: Construction Job!
  
• :grapes: Gardening!
  
• :post_office: : Postman!
  
• :taxi: : And plenty of Food restaurants. And many more
  

Here are a few of the things we offer in the city:
Smoke Store
UWU
Benihana
Realtor
Mirrors
Bahama Mamas
Strip club
Club LS
KOI Restaurant
icon Auto shop
Check Fraud and Scamming
Hair Salon
Nail Salon /SPA
Hornys
Crazy Girls strip club
Pawnshop (gun plug)
Pub
9 Trey bloods hood
O’block
3 gyms (ownable)
Legion Square Hood
Amusement park (ownable)
PD (all positions)
EMS (positions)
Maxim Performance Autos
And more. We have ebt cards and rose toy,hair,nails, lashes to sell for females to 17 plus drugs. (Not FCFS)
Corner selling along with zone drug selling
Scamming, fraud, gun plugging
Child support etc...
Fly in and check us out and grow with us!!!
In need of Admins, moderators and content creators!!!!
https://linktr.ee/iConlivingRP

Coke just got bumped up to 61 cents per KM. We’ve been trying to get an increase (from 51) for a year or two now. Our management has said it’s all controlled from back east and the entire country is the same. However I’ve heard other zones have different reimbursement.
Curious what others are at

I don't really have interest in debating the nature of what politically is good or bad, but rather why many far right people are upset about politics being *forced* into Fallout. Aside from women and non-white and LGBT stuff, there's a lot more going on that is lost in this discussion.
MAGA, specifically. Make America Great Again? The response to this is often "when was America ever great?" This myth of "Great America" is largely represented by the culture of the 50s. Remember when women worked at home cleaning and making dinner for the family? What's up with all of those photographs of the entire white family of four dressed in expensive looking clothes in front of a house in the suburbs with a nice car in the driveway? All of the advertisements had a clean looking white family of four lounging outside for a picnic with their dog Lucky and they all enjoyed a Coke in a glass bottle while no people from different cultures ever interrupted them with their strange ways.
Fallout is a mockery of this similar to Donald Fagen's songs "I.G.Y" and "New Frontier." Feel free to listen to that and pay attention to the lyrics. I.G.Y specifically relates to a culture that promoted hypothetical science from the 30s through the 50s that was near impossible to achieve and fueled by a strange and overwhelming optimism. Sounds a bit like what Vault-Tec had in mind. These ideas often found themselves reflected in a culture anticipating the "world of tomorrow." Robots in the house that do work. Cold fusion powered everything. High speed trains from LA to NYC.
This type of stuff got even weirder sometimes, especially with business like General Electric and their strange and secret musical theater, most famously "The Bathrooms are Coming" which is a song that can easily be found. Also General Electric produced the odd "Carousel of Progress" which featured a song that went through eras of different technology repeating the same loop "now is the time, now is the best time, now is the best time of your life." No, I don't think it is.
I may have missed some of the marketing in Fallout, but overall the marketing very accurately depicts that Mad Men style and culture. There aren't really ever non-white people in advertisements for a lot of stuff. Sometimes this does happen, I know. But often this is sort of white family with a couple of kids and a dog advertising. This is never really a problem for anybody living in this world as they have mostly adapted to inclusiveness in a different way than our current world.
We are still dealing with expectation of the marketing and packaging vs the reality. The Vaults function similar to MAGA. This is the world they exist in and their way is right, and the world outside that doesn't exist to them despite being very real. The only problems are internal Vault problems which dwellers prefer to risking the Wasteland or worse, dealing with people who are different and unclean and uncultured according to their standards. Every faction and every settlement is a woke culture by dweller standards. They have crime problems with stealing and violence, so they aren't tough on crime. They are anti-law, and anti-police.
Vault dwellers largely naively follow the leadership of a fascist corporate leadership while in the comfort of their homes. This seems to be a theme taken from the Germans living under the Third Reich who would sometimes witness ashes raining on their houses but never bother to consider this could be human ashes. Similar to the fallout of nuclear winter. "That's not our problem. We can't do anything about that." Some of you may have saw the Zone of Interest, and that is kind of where Hank is.
At the front of Fallout as has been the theme in America for a long, long time is the fear of communism. Please feel free to do your own research there as it's a lot, but this has been the boogeyman of the right wing and sometimes left as a propaganda tool. What is communism? You'll get a different answer from every person you ask in real life or the characters in the show. They just all know it's dangerous and it will kill you. This same propaganda has shifted more towards socialism being the new communism to build propaganda against universal healthcare or tax paid college tuition. It continues to hold interest in elimination of numerous social welfare programs including all schooling. Again, schooling in the vaults functions on privilege while the Wasteland functions on the hope the community will chip in some caps for the teachers.
The theme of Fallout has always been this America was never the Great America that was promised by advertising. The poor who were living in decaying communities of crime have always been there, and you can find pictures of videos of it. The drug addicts and youth gangs were always there. Propaganda of a utopian past never changes.
[EDIT] Spoilers for non-gamers.>! I forget to mention AI takeover. Even though most people aren't into this, big business is fully invested in progressing AI at any cost which is a bit of a contradiction for current right values. We don't have it on the show yet, but I expect we will get there. !<

Time to get this sub booming. So I'm going to be making random posts here overtime.
But let's get through these random facts and theories (my pov but you can challenge it if U want)
💍 Did you notice that In the apartment room where the drug deal was happening earlier on, Tony picks Angel to go do the deal with him and when they're introducing themselves when Angel is at the door he says Angel is his "brother in law". Pay attention to that. Brother in Law. He could've introduced him as just Bro, best friend, associate. He chose these words above anything else.
This shows that way early in the film, if he had to pick between any of his boys to date Gina, Tony would've preferred Angel to date Gina than Manny.
✂️ Tony calls Manny his "investment" when the cook tells them to come back. "I gotta look after my investment". Not his friend, not his brother, not his partner, etc. His investment. Ofc, we know he loves Manny deep down, but this reaffirms that Manny was a larger part of his hopeful plan, a means to an end per say.
🥡 Every failed deal in the movie Tony voluntarily takes on has junk food laying around somewhere (ofc just to convey they / others were snacking to pass time). Chinese takeout is present in the car I'm NYC when Tony doesn't want to kill the kids and present in the apartment where the chainsaw scene happens.
🍾 push it to the limit montages, my theory is that the line "welcome to the limit" when his painting of him and Elvira is revealed is telling us this is the limit for Tony and can't go any higher for this. But this is all rhetorical tbh.
👩 Tony's mom in my eyes is a hidden villian and aggravation to me. She is one of the underlying reasons why everything went to shit towards the ending scenes. Tony either did coke to get closet to Elvira (car dealership scenes) or cause he was stressed out dealing with shit. Tonys mother embodies that hot headed, impulsive, surface level of thinking and conveying emotions that Tony has, yet she berates him as if he either gets this strictly from his father or she doesn't understand him at all. Its clear if you watch the home scene objectively where Tony personality stems from.
Tony's mom secretly doesn't want his money cause poverty is comfort zone and comfort level. Anyways, Tony mom ofc had a right to feel this way. We all get her pain and shame. Tony's mom totally misconstrued Tony's actions and notice she never gives him a chance to speak for himself. Tony did the same to Manny about Gina in the car. I just believe if the mom didn't bitch at him that night especially in that manner, he wouldn't have snorted up extras and thought his actions out. His mother is not innocent like everyone makes her out to be.
👧 Gina was sheltered and overprotected by Mama. This is why in the end Gina rebels against her, it has nothing to do with Tony like the mother blames him. The mother like many crime moms who try to heavily overcompensate for their adult child being a menace (in reality & in their mind) by sheltering the younger child, especially a daughter so they don't become like the elder child i.e Tony. It's very clear in Gina's demeanor when we first see her compared to the club scene. Tony didn't realize this or know this was happening. Gina took that money and started living it up, getting out of that cage of a house and mixing w/ the wrong people.
This is why she talks back to mama just like Tony does (according to mama) cause Tony has a very strict hatred of jails and doesn't like to be cooped up. He rebels in similar manner.
👅 Tony believes in standard sex, maybe wild sex but not oral. Manny funny tongue scene obviously shows he's down for anything. Tony could care less. And Elvira says he sucks in bed so...Tony probably hasn't slept with many women or interested in that. Him suggesting women liked ice cream for dates also furthers that (but it was so cute.)
🍽 in the deleted scene he confronts the newsman and let's him the cops have taken their share of the money and product when they confiscate stuff from the criminals. It isn't shown but that most likely set the tone for why the dinner is so crappy cause of that interaction.
🦩 obviously, we all know that funny scene, Tony is saying :fly pelican fly come on pelican" at the flamingos. That's obviously to show Tony really grew up poor with no access to education or exposure to the world for him to mistake the two. Same with the lemon piece in the cleaning dish but he seems like the type who would eat it anyway.
👩 I have a tiny tiny theory Tony knows if he let Gina and Manny date, mama would go upside his head and hers. Just another minor reason why he's just no on that.
😎 Elviras sunglasses she wore with the white outfit was from a drugstore and cost no more than $10 in real life.
⏰️ Tony was smart for setting Frank up to be exposed with the 3am call and sitting in front of him to see how he would react to the call and what he would do. That's coy thinking many would expect from Tony, he isn't book smart but he was street smart in that sense. Manny not being around immediately to some degree gave him room to think fast. This was better than running up on frank directly.
🩸in the Miami tribute on the left side corner to the headline of the 5 mill bond Tony posted, It says "Virus that may cause Cancer in Humans isolated".
I wont ever say more. Yall can take that one however you want in today's world. But that's an interesting story and very out of place, very random. Interesting!
🌴 Gina says she was taking classes at Miami Dame so that's the county / area they lived In (or that she commuted to for class).
👱‍♀️ Elvira only smiles a few times in the film and the main time she smiles is for the wedding pics with the others and when Tony plays with her hat joking around and she says play time is over. She nearly partially smiles when Tony is complementing her on the dance floor to figure her out, it's a near microexpression of a smile but Tony quickly insulted her after that.
When he wakes her up out of bed, this is one of the few times minus the dinner fight she's not in her usual character and sounds vulnerable. Her voice changes those 2 times in the movie.
👧 👱‍♀️ Elvira and Gina never interact or talk but she's Happy for her at the beauty salon unveiling.
It's very interesting they have the same theme & it plays when he looks at them both tenderly for the first times but they are so separate from each other. The two women never once interacting shows Tony was never going to get his ultimate way either of them as they were possessions not people to him. (Well, Elvira at least).
Elvira should've been given a company or job or shop like how Gina had the beauty salon. It's a shame Gina didn't live to even grow that shop. Tony was being an ass to her in the tub scene but he was right. She really did nothing but live in excess. That's my opinion tho.
Also Tony felt inferior to Sosa I'm terms of him having a kid on the way and Elvira being unable to have kids. This is also why he broods over it over dinner.
💊 Gina spit the pills out and pretended to sleep or it was a sleeping pill. If she truly ingested it, no way she could've came and did all that coherently.
👨 Manny and Tony were not close anymore obviously after the tub scene. Manny kept a distance from him and only spoke to Tony when he needed to. Tony didn't know where Manny lived at all or what he did in his personal life other than see women. Tony had been fed up with him for a long time and it blew up at the phone booth when he was told Manny dipped.
Either way he regretted killing him.
👦 Tony never stops or hides like in standard films. He's given no time to process anything or move strategically after the long brooding period in the room. Had Gina not shot him in the leg and arm, he would've moved better for a few more minutes.
THATS IT FOR NOW. I'll update in my next watch of the movie if I missed anything.

For the last week my son, who recently turned 5 (ASD 2/ADHD), has been incredibly dysregulated. He had been having major gains in speech and focus, etc. in the months prior and for this past week it feels like he suddenly lost the ability to stay still or focus for more than a moment.
We limit his screen time (max. 1 hour on weekdays, 3 on weekends) but in the past he would be able to use a screen to do a single thing - one show, one game, whatever. He could sit and just enjoy it.
This past week he has been obsessive. Scripting a ton. Literally jumping, running and spinning in place. He’s obsessed and fixated on pressing buttons repeatedly to the point that it’s all he wants to do or talk about. We are traveling so we’ve allowed him an iPad on the plane - I was shocked to find he literally could not focus on anything, switching between shows and the calculator and the timer app relentlessly. I timed it and he was never on a screen for more than THREE seconds. He’s furiously tapping the screen and cycling through these apps or shows repeatedly.
He’s also hyped up constantly. The best way I can describe it is when you’re talking to a very coked up person at a party 😂 - constantly moving, looking around, clearly not listening, annoying.
What the heck is going on? He cannot sit still and seems zoned out so often. My husband says he recalls a similar situation a year ago right before a big language/social growth explosion, but this seems excessive comparatively. I cannot get this kid to sit still.
No changes to diet, environment, or schedule (aside from this trip we’re on, but the behavior predates that).
Anyone experience a similar situation or have a guess about what it could be ? I’m overwhelmed and freaked out. We’re constantly doing cool down time outs which only makes him more agitated.
Thank you!

So I'm here with another analysis to make this sub a little more useful/educational to its members rather than seeing only traded options contract that expired worthless in loss.
You can check out my first post here.
First of all,
DISCLOSURE: I hold certain amount of exposure in this Stock and have vested interest for the stock price to move up.I am a regular investor, with no financial background and SEBI Registration. My analysis are based on publicly available information.
Company Name: Coal India Ltd
NSE Ticker: COALINDIA
Industry: Materials, Mining, Energy
I. RATIONALE:
i have 2 rationale here for investing in COALINDIA.

1. Power Geberation: As india grows, we need to power this growth, and 1 of the most important is Electricity.India still relies on Coal power to generate electricity. As more industries and factories are getting setup in india, they will require power to run. the temperature during the summer is rising every year, and this will create more demand for increased power during summer. we the people of kerala are currently facing a severe elecrticity shortage, as the demand is rising. EV is the next big thing that is going to come to india, with Elon in talks with India to set up a plant in India, the EV cars are going to be a common sight. now to power these EVs we need electricity, to charge them. again will increase the power demand
2. Coking Coal: coal is used in steel plants. with develpment comes infrastructure, and for infrastructue you need steel, and to make steel your need..... thats right coking coal. one catch here is that, due to supply deficiency of coking coal, india is currently importing coking coal from australia. if we can get around this, it will be a boon for india.

II. FINANCIAL:
What attracted me to this scrip is the growth seen its financials, especially during the previous financial year, if you ask me, a sleeping dragon has been awaken.

1. A 36% YoY revenue growth last FY. A 5year avg revenue close to 60%, with growth of 10% CAGR over last 5 years
2. Profit growth of 31% YoY last FY. A 5 year average profit growth of 10.7% (5y CAGR)
3. A 5 year avg ROE of 48% which is growing at a rate of 3.9% ( 5y CAGR)
4. A 5 year avg ROCE of 23.9% which is a result of a growth of 4% (5 year CAGR)
5. and for those who love dividend income like my, this company gives a dividend yield of 5.57%.
6. current EPS is at 24 which is also good for a public sector stock.

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III. HOLDINGS:
FII has held on to its positions qrtr ending in MAR'24.
MF has increased its holdings and DIIs have more or less held on.
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IIV. TECHNICAL:
First of, COALINDIA is a NIFTY50 stock with a weightage of ........., hence it will be one of the early movers in our portfolio once we start recovering from this blip.
Currently trading in a tight upward channel, taking support from the bottom of the channel with a lot of respect.
its very likely to breakout of this channel, if NIFTY supports it.
410-420 is a good supply zone as thats where the 100 Simple DMA is, and i will add more once the scrip come down to this level.
if furthur downfall occurs i will hold and accumulate ONLY if the stock shows reversal from the bottom, which will most likely be the 200 DMA, at 340 levels.
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So all in all in bullish on the entire energy sector, so i find great oppourtunity in COALINDIA.
as i said, i have existing holdings in this stock and will continue to accumulate furthur.
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Let me know your findings and analysis of this scrip.
Happy Investing
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I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Egehan550. They posted in NoStupidQuestions
This was a beast to put together. For clarity's sake, the approximate times are what reveddit labeled them as, meaning I believe they are in my time zone. But regardless, I was able to put things in chronological order.
Trigger Warnings: vomit; hallucinations
Mood Spoilers: thankfully a happy ending
Original Background Post: April 10, 2024
Title: Is it okay to smoke weed if i never smoked "normal" cigarettes before?
Commenter: I’m not really sure what the two have to do with each other… Smoking cigarettes isn’t a prerequisite to smoking weed and many do one without the other. You’re overthinking it. Just smoke 💨

OOP: I just didnt knew how they worked lol in my country even if you get caught with a small amount you get arrested but here they sell it in like every market so wanted to ask to be sure

Commenter: Sure. It's not a requirement to smoke cigarettes.

OOP: Thanks, also do you reccommend edible ones for first try? There are protein bars cookies ect but probably they wont get me high im assuming

Commenter: Why wouldn't they get you high?

OOP: While i eat something while drinking i usually dont get high especially its sweet so getting high while eating cookies sounds funny lmao but if they do i might try them instead since its easier than smoking (Editor's note- I think OOP meant drunk, not high)

Commenter: Have you ever consumed weed before? If not, don't go into it assuming that common ways of consumption won't affect you, that's a recipe for accidentally getting way too high and having a bad time.

OOP: I havent and thanks for the heads up other peoples also says i should try the smoke first so i guess i will got with that

OOP's conclusion:
Im with my parents so last thing i want is getting too high lol honestly ill just ask the guy in shop and if he recommends edibles i should eat a small amount and if its doesnt do anything for a long while ill eat more i want to try both methods but still not sure which to try first
Disaster Post: April 13, 2024 (3 days later) (1:29)
Title: I ate almost half box of cannabis cookies thinking it got 200mg thc in all package but turned out its 2000 how fucked am i?
I ate 30-40 grams from 100 gram package and i have plane trip in 3 hours i started sweating how do i prevent getting high?(its been 10 mins)
Relevant Comment:
Top Comment:
Commenter: What airport are you at so I can tune in to the local news in a couple hours?

OOP: 💀 im at greece but not giving the airports name actually the country im going got cannabis banned so if i travel turkey high af maybe i might get arrested idk i dont know how does law works if i get high in greece and travel to a country which bans cannabis

(Editor's note- all following updates occur in the comments)
Mini Update 1: 13 minutes later (1:42)
Commenter: Unless you just finished eating them and can get them out of your stomach, I don't think there is any way to prevent you from getting extremely high and possibly suffering other serious side effects like panic attacks. If you aren't traveling with someone you trust who can steer you through security and take care of your medical needs, you may have to miss your flight.

OOP: Thanks for your reply i started drinking cold water and cofee but then it might me too late im not having much effects rn so hoping more cofee can keep me sober

Important info:
I only smoked couple times before and not even the full joint at once so i probably got low tolerance
1:59- OOP takes a brief foray into HairStyleAdvice to comment on this Post:
Title: Help, am I going bald?
OOP: You already did
Mini Update 2: 19 minutes later (2:01)
No effects for now i accepted my fate and watching anime rn its been 35-40 mins and i only got a bit sweaty and tipsy
Mini Update 3: almost 1 hour later (2:59)
Update-nothing happened while i was sitting just until i stand up to eat. As soon as i stand up it hit me but i was very hungry and ate more than 1 bread loaf which caused me to throw up i think i threw up most of the cookies and i feel sober now just my hands are shaking but if it doesnt gets worse again i might get to the plane
Mini Update 4: 20 minutes later (3:19)
Why does car horns sounds like my mothers dead grandma lmao
Im fucking fried not stepping out of house soon i tried to reat label of cola and it took hours
Regarding the cola:
Commenter: Did you read their cola secrets? Or did you read their cola secrets? Did you read their cola secrets? They are reading the cola secrets? They are there reading the cola secrets? They are with you reading the cola secrets

OOP: I gave up what am i going to do with label of cola anyway and it was greece anyway so probably thats why i didnt get shit

Mini Update 5: 12 minutes later (3:31)
Eat peppercorns:
I dont even know what are they are they the seeds in bell pepers and shit?
Mini Update 6: 5 minutes later (3:36)
Commenter: It’s been about 2 hours since this was posted, if you haven’t left yet how are you feeling OP?

OOP: I dont feel bad but i dont even know how do i go back to my country since i will miss the plane but in worst case ill hire some sea bike shit to go back to turkey when i sober decided to not go turkey while fried 🤝

Mini Update 7: 2 minutes later (3:38)
Commenter: What do you mean how do you prevent getting high, you ate edibles before a flight lol. I’m gonna be interested in how this turns out.

OOP: Bro i didnt wanted to get play chess wirh hitler tier high im not playing yet. But i might since i bough chess set with greek gods as stones

Mini Update 8: 2 minutes later (3:40)
Commenter: Good luck with your ascension

OOP: Thanks im level 90 now

Mini Update 9: 1 minute later (3:41)
Commenter: This is Reddit control center we gonna need constant updates and goodluck 🫡

OOP: Nigga dont sell my datae to cops 😭😭

Mini Update 10: 2 minutes later (3:43)
I missed my cats i put 5 says worth of food and water extra wayer for them so they wont splash it but i have to vall my neighbor to call them
Check them
Mini Update 11: 1 minute later (3:44)
Eat something sugary:
I dont think i can consume more sugar i ate tons of banana apple and pear and like 4 chocolate croussants(i dont know how to spell that french ass shit)
Mini Update 12: 3 minutes later (3:47)
Brick walls felts hairy will it get any worse i cant even hear half of the music
Mini Update 13: 2 minutes later (3:49)
Shower?
Dude i teied to fill the tub for the last few hours but plug was plugged out fixed it so i can probably jumpin soon
Mini Update 14: 1 minute later (3:50)
Okay updating my inner voice turned english even im not a native speaker its good but how could i stop imagining south american accent? Im worried english voice might be permament
Final Update in Comments: ~4.5 hours later (8:01)
Pics of cookies since people was curious https://imgur.com/a/uyZKXKF
Update- i was staying at a airbnb house and i was supposed to check out at 12 while i was dozed off at jakuzi owner knocked the fuck out of door and luckily i woke up and get out apologized the guy ect. Checked ferry rides for turkey because of the holiday couldnt find any so booked another flight and sitting on airport.
I could barely get out of house but after fresh air and knocking out 2 giant tubes of ice cream i fell mentally kinda normal but physicaly like shit probably throwing up helped it a bit since im not stoned now. i was suprised to see the please update comments and everyone was worried so thanks and sorry
Most asked questions;
dont go to turkey- im from turkey so its my only option rn just waiting until evening
Where did you found tub- airbnb and i dozed off before reading dont do it messages luckily it was pretty shallow so i didnt drowned
Did i leave my cats for 5 days- no only 3 and extra food and extra water cups everywhere in case they knock they over
How tf did your inner voice turned into american- my major is english translation and interprenting so during mid term phase i even dream english the reason i imagined souther accent is probably the fact that i almost failed the exam because of a.i with southern accent, i didnt get shit.
How concious was i while answering questions- i was conscious but dumb only carcastic one was playing chess with hitler i didnt see that and walls only felt hairy
Where did you found weed cookies at rhodes- it was near the airbnb i booked it was a whole shop and it showes up when you type "cannabis rhodes" to google
Long story short im glad i managed to throw out most of it but still being paranoid was terrible and i tought it was going to last until forever(i cringed so much while checking my comment history i dont know how did you guys managed to read it all also im sorry for the bald guy and n word 😭)
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Things OP ate:

• 2 giant tubes [sic] of ice cream
• Banana
• Apple
• Pears
• 4 chocolate croussants [sic]
• More than 1 whole bread loaf
• Cola (maybe?)
• Water
• Coffee
• 800 (?) mg thc

OOP: Im glad i drank diet coke that looks like lots of calories. To be serious i had stomach recovery surgery 5 years ago and i usually eat 1600 calories per day so it was probably a bigger shock to my body my scale is at home and im probably jumped from 68kg to 75 lol

Commenter: Good to hear you are okey, friend! Next time, read the label carefully lol

OOP: Probably i couldnt explain while stoned but label said 200mg and 40 calories after eating half of it i remembered 100 gram cookies are like 400-600 calories after i checked the label again it said "per 10 grams" and i knew i fucked up. At turkey at every label they write 100 grams olr mililiter value so thats why i ate half of it

Commenter: This is incredibly coherent for the timing. How are you not passed out?

OOP: I dont know and im glad i only feel terribly tired now my best guess would be throwing out because of eating the whole loaf because it was all green but if the fact that i ate a loaf means weed was already in my blood if its already in my blood how did i recover in few hours idk

Commenter: Heyo! Thanks for the update. Glad you're ok! I was mostly worried that this was going to be an expensive mistake. I think you only ever had one option: ride it out.

OOP: Me too. At least i have a story to tell my kids/grandkids now. Weed is banned at turkey so as soon as i got to greece i wanted to try it out. I think if its wasnt banned i would just try it few times(normal dosage) and quit it. But weed being forbidden kinda tempted me to do it

Commenter: Oh, forgot to ask. Who won the game of chess? And was Hitler a sore loser?

OOP: I guess i tried to be sarcastic at hitler stuff so i didnt see him but sarcasm and being fried doesnt combine well i suppose. Actually greek god chess pieces while also true i bought it for my grandpa its just chess but olympian gods as pieces

Cats:
I only have 2 and i left 3 litterbox for them lol(it was usually 1 per cat but they decided to shit on one and piss on another) idk how will having third option affect them lol
The sea bike:
I dont even know where did sea bike shit come from even while stoned i cant be that dumb 😭 not even jet ski cant believe i wanted to ride sea bike to turkey
Where OOP got the weed/if it's legal in Greece:
Idk if its banned or not but i literaly googled "rhodes weed" which showed a shop with huge ass canabis leaf logo inside there were tons of different stuff like hashish skunk ect and also edibles i bought the cookies i was chatting with the guy and he gave me 2 more joints
Checking in 8 hours later:
Are you still high?
I dont think so but i dont even know if you asked my dumb self the same question while stoned i would probably also say "im sober" for now i feel like i got ran over by truck and i still got a bit paranoia left i keep questioning myself and thinking what would happen if i stayed like this forever
Editor's note: OOP never mentions their parents again, but my assumption is that the parents went home early or were visiting elsewhere.

This is the pièce de résistance of the draft. The best group and the deepest group. This class of WRs offers any and all kinds of body types and versatility. If you need an X WR then there is someone. Flanker? There are some really good ones. Same thing for big inside WRs. Slots are a plenty in this group. I can't name just one per round. There will be plenty of names here.
1st Round
Brian Thomas Jr. : 6'3, 209 lbs, 9.75'' hands, 32.75'' arms, 4.33 (40-Yard), 38.5'' (Vertical), 126'' (Broad), 11 Reps (Bench): He'll be 22 in his rookie season. Although he didn't run the whole route tree, Thomas is very talented. Tall and explosive. I think he is more of a Flanker (Z) right now because if you get him in motion and off press then he can work his speed and suddenness. I think he'll be very dangerous as a pre-snap motion guy. Him with a head of steam is scary. I don't think he can beat press consistently but if he can develop that part of his game then he can probably be an X in the future. He's still raw and needs to go the WR Masters' program. We know the big 3 in Harrison Jr, Nabers, and Odunze but Brian Thomas Jr and AD Mitchell are in the 2nd tier that might go in the first round.
2nd Round
Ladd McConkey: 6'0, 186 lbs, 3.25'' arms, 8.675'' hands, 4.39 (40-yard), 36'' (Vertical), 124'' (Broad), 13 Reps (Bench): He'll be 23 in his rookie season. McConkey is a very advanced route runner. He possibly runs the best out-breaking routes in the whole draft. Short out routes and deeper comebacks is his bread and butter. I think he has the savvy to play slot and the speed to play Z. I think he has the upside to be a very good WR2 on a team. Very polished WR that should help a contender right away. He was nicked up during his time at Georgia so injuries might become a thing in the league. Xavier Legette is another dude can probably develop into more a X type of receiver along with Keon Coleman. However, the list of possible Z type of WRs are more vast. You have Xavier Worthy, Jermaine Burton, Ricky Pearsell, and Troy Franklin.
3rd Round
Ja'Lynn Polk: 6'1, 203 lbs, 9.75'' Hands, 31.75'' arms, 4.52 (40-yard), 37.5'' (Vertical), 129'' (Broad): He'll be 22 in his rookie year. He's a very straight to the fact type of WR. Tough minded and physical. He loves contested catches. Hands catcher and can high point any pass. He's not the fastest dude but he does pretty much everything well except speed and separation in press. He loves sitting down in zone. Is a very willing blocker. He will be able to start right away as a Z WR and probably as a bigger inside WR. I also think he can eventually develop into a true X WR too. I think he reminds me a lot of Robert Woods when he was with the Rams but with less speed. Other options can be Brenden Rice, Roman Wilson, Javon Baker, Tez Walker. Slot WRs: Jalen McMillian, Malik Washington, Malachi Corley.
4th Round
Luke McCaffrey: 6'2, 198 lbs, 9.625'' Hands, 30.175'' arms, 4.46 (40-yard), 6.70 (3 Cone), 4.02 (Shuttle), 36'' (Vertical), 121'' (Broad): He'll be 23 in his rookie season. The other McCaffrey in the family. Luke McCaffrey is really athletic and he's bigger than what most people think. He's more physical as well. He comes from great pedigree and he knows what it means to be a pro athlete. He's still new to the WR position. He was a QB prior to playing receiver but is already progressing really well. He does mostly everything well. He has speed and quickness and uses them really well. I'm not sure he's a starter right away but he can contribute as a WR 3 or WR 4. I think the best thing about McCaffrey is he wins a lot at the catch point. Even though his body is twisted in all sorts of positions, he always seem to come down with the ball. He's a good athlete but not a great athlete. I think he still needs polish to his game but a lot to like. This round has a bunch of smaller dudes that can be Z WRs but also probably can thrive in the slot: Jabari Thrash. Slot WRs: Anthony Gould, Jacob Cowing, Tahj Washington,
5th Round
Ainias Smith: 5'9, 190 lbs, 8.5'' Hands, 29'' arms, 4.48 (40-yard), 6.86 (3 Cone), 4.27 (Shuttle), 21 Reps (Bench): He'll be 23 in his rookie season. I love Smith. He's a forgotten man in this WR class. He started as a RB at Texas A&M and then got coverted to a WR. If Malachi Corley is the Diet Coke version of Deebo then Smith can be the Coke Zero version. Smith rarely dropped passes in college. He ran a 3% drop rate his last year. He's super dangerous as a returner and in the open field. He's fast and explosive. Smith lined up primarily in the slot in college but I think he can also develop into a Z WR. He wasn't asked to catch balls where he had to track the ball a la Tyler Lockett. Most of his routes are within 5-15 yards. I think there's so much more to his game because of his strong hands. Still developing as a route runner but a lot to like as well. Smith does not care about his body at all. He'll throw himself and tries to run over bigger tacklers at times.
6th Round
Ryan Flournoy: 6'1, 202 lbs, 10.125'' Hands, 31.625'' arms, 4.44 (40-yard), 39.5'' (Vertical), 132'' (Broad), 19 Reps (Bench): He'll be 25 in his rookie season. He's an older prospect but he has a great story. He took the extra long route to the NFL. Flournoy showed out during the Senior Bowl. He ran good routes and was beating defenders during one on ones. Small school player with good traits and a hunger to succeed. I think he's one that might shoot up the draft boards and he might go much higher than this.
7th Round
Jalen Coker: 6'1, 208 lbs, 9.875'' Hands, 32.875'' arms, 4.57 (40-yard), 42.5'' (Vertical), 128'' (Broad): He'll be 23 in his rookie season. Coker is one of the most explosive players in this draft class. He played at a smaller school but has plenty of traits to get drafted. I think teams will give him a chance to secure him on their roster. He doesn't have the best agility but he already is winning with technique. His route running is pretty advanced for a smaller school guy. He has good hands and but plays above the rim. Coker is very physical after the catch. Not many CBs are going to love tackling him. He reminds me a little of Miles Austin back in the day. A potential YAC monster if he develops correctly.
UDFA
Cole Burgess: 6'0, 192 lbs, 9.125'' hands, 30.5'' arms, 4.45 (40-yard), 1.43 (10-yard), 4.23 (Shuttle), 6.72 (3 Cone), 41.5 (Vertical), 137'' (Broach), 21 Reps (Bench): He'll be 24 in his rookie season. I think he's pretty slept on. Insane athlete that played a DIII school. There is limited information on him but his best attribute is his ability to track and control his body. Great body control and is able to make contested catches. He'll be a lot of fun to root for and he may surprise some folks. I think he has a decent shot to get drafted but he might be a priority UDFA.