Like the title says, my (34f) boyfriend (34m) of over 3 years threw away something small of mine thinking I wouldn’t notice and I just found out. We were both Christian, I have pulled away completely from religion and church and now identify as atheist. He no longer believes in religion but leans hard into spiritual afterlives, reincarnation, other dimensions, out of body experiences, etc. he still goes to church and I quit going with him. While I don’t believe in witchcraft personally, I find it fascinating and love witchy things. Once we got into a big fight because I curiously thumbed through a spell book at a bookstore and he believes just touching it I “invited evil” into our lives and my “carelessness” was putting him at risk.
Once while walking outside I randomly found a tarot card. When I looked up the meaning of the card it eerily related to issues I was struggling with in my life. I kept the card as a keepsake tucked away at my work desk (we both work from home and live together). I went out of town a couple months ago to take care of a sick family member and my bf cleaned up my work desk as a gift to me for when I came back. When I came back, I noticed the card wasn’t where I left it but I chocked it up to maybe I put it somewhere else. I never explicitly went looking for the card until today. I cleaned out my whole desk and couldn’t find the card anywhere. I’m now 99% convinced he found it and threw it out.
I’m not sure if I should confront him about it. I know it’s small but it was important to me and it hurts my feelings that he would do this. Or am I just overreacting??
TLDR; bf threw away a tarot card keepsake because he thinks witchcraft is evil. Should I confront him or am I overreacting by being upset?

I'm wondering how to appropriately manage and document this situation. I am a newer director of an organization. I have off-site HR which I'll speak to on Monday as this happened late on Thursday.
I have an employee who manages a department. Two directors ago this organization had an awful director that left on horrible terms after abusing the staff. The director right before me was generally well-liked but didn't have a backbone for lack of a better word. The employee who manages the department took the brunt of the directors abuse.
According to her she has extreme anxiety and PTSD because of it. I know that's protected under the ADA.
I have a mix of new managers and managers who have never gone through basic management training. Simple things like how to communicate effectively, how to listen, management styles etc. I hired a consultant/company that came very well recommended and told management team that I'd like to do this to bring us as a group closer together, team-build, and just have fun as a group. It was supposed to be a really positive thing. I participated and got a lot out of the session even.
The manager with PTSD had a really difficult time. That's an understatement though. She had a panic attack at the beginning and basically panicked and cried the entire 8 hour training session. During break I spoke to her to see what was going on and she said PTSD and anxiety from 2 directors ago, imposter syndrome, and every time she's been asked to do a training it was punishment. I did my best to encourage her and show her positive feedback. After the break it wasn't any better. I asked if it would be better if she left and she said no. Perhaps I should have made her but I did not. And again, she was upset the entire training to the point where it distracted the other managers and she didn't participate at all.
I read through her personnel file and it's thick. She's been almost fired with board support many times but for some reason or some way she always beats a PIP or there wasn't follow through from the directors. I'm not saying that's what I want to do (fire her) but I have no idea how to help her. I am also now concerned that she can't manage her department. She has a group of people relying on her to be a leader and role model.
I didn't want to talk to her immediately because I wanted to research PTSD in the workplace and talk to my HR on Monday but she kind of forced a conversation with me. I told her I was disappointed that she took this training to be so negative and asked what I could do to so it doesn't happen again. She just said "more information". I'm a bit at loss here. I did document my conversation with her and we agreed to talk Monday but beyond that I'm really not sure next steps here. Any advice would be a great help. I'm not really a new manager as I've managed a lot of different HR issues over the years with the assistance of either an HR department or attorney but nothing like this.

Trigger warning: sexual assault, suicide
I (29f) have been friends with Friend A (40m) and Friend B (39m) for six years after meeting in the office we all work in. About a year and a half ago, A started experiencing severe insomnia and depression. B and I recommended A to seek professional help, but A rejected this for many months until December 2023 when B called emergency services following what we considered to be credible suicidal threats. Since then, A has started therapy and is taking medication for the insomnia and depression. B and I have continued to try to be present friends, listening and offering encouragement. End of March 2023, A confided in us that he was raped as a teenager. I won’t pretend that we landed the response perfectly, but I have apologized for things that I did wrong (not discussing the assault and aftermath) out of fear of making our friendship all about the assault. We have reiterated to him that it was not his fault and that he do not see him any differently.
I believe the situation is toxic. I understand that A is hurting and I can only imagine the burden he’s carrying. As time passes, our relationship with him gets worse as he lashes out saying that we are only pretend friends and is completely isolated. He’ll make passive aggressive comments to us at work and send us expletive ridden texts telling us that we aren’t doing enough, accusing us of abandoning him. We have not disappeared. We’ve all hung outside of work together since this happened. We still talk on a day to day basis, even outside of work. When he expresses feelings of abandonment, we tell him we’re trying to be there for him and ask how we can do better, and he just gets upset. He reminds us not infrequently, almost angrily, that the only reason he’s still alive is because B made that call.
I’m a single mom to two small kids (2 and 4). I’m doing my best to be there but I just cannot offer on call support. In addition to this, there was an indication in about September that A has romantic feelings for me. This all makes my partner very uncomfortable, as he doesn’t want me so emotionally invested in another man but also doesn’t want A to kill himself.
Last night A texted me expressing his feelings of isolation, and within ten minutes as I sat trying to provide a delicate response, he sends an expletive filled mini rant to the group chat with A, B, and me about how he’s done and with an emoji with a gun to his head. I told him I would call him once I put my son to bed, and I did. We spent about an hour on the phone, where he cursed at me and continued to tell I vanished. I told him I wasn’t going to say anything about how I responded in the past because I didn’t want to make it sound like I was making excuses, but that I was sorry for not being what he needed before and I was here. He just got angry and laughed. He demanded an explanation for my approach in different situations, and when I provided them, he just called them BS. He gave me an ultimatum, saying I needed to show I could be a real friend or he would “move on”. I told him he needed to tell me exactly what he had in mind, and eventually he said I needed to be more intentional in asking about his emotional wellbeing and not keeping him at arms length. I told him I could do that.
It turns out that after we hung up, he had the same conversation with B but it ended badly. I woke up to a string of nonsensical texts to the group thread, the last of which said “I'm about to have done dipshits that think the know a damn thing promisr me it's my fault. In reality I love you and want your babies”. I find this to be grossly inappropriate and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Such things are disrespectful to both me and my partner. I told him that what he said was not okay, and he responded he was “going to hide in shame” and talking about how much he needs us.
I’ve been yelled at, laughed at, cussed at. Anything I’ve done for this person has been equated to nothing despite the significant turmoil it’s caused in my life. So far I have taken all of this on the chin without blinking but I think a line has been crossed here. This feels like a scheme of self sabotage that I’m caught in the middle of. Trying to establish and maintain healthy boundaries is something I’ve been focusing on since my divorce. How can I do that here? I have to sit next to this person at work and I am not comfortable in this relationship where it stands. I’m at a point where I feel an intense need to protect myself and my relationship — my partner is not going to be okay with this. Am I actually being a bad friend and not realizing it?

Just swam laps - felt amazing! I'm one of the many BEAR patients that are struggling with regaining flexion so most of my PT and activity time has been spent pushing for flexion. But I just swam laps, and for the first time in 10 weeks I felt sorta normal! It was amazing! BEAR protocol says lap swimming at 12 weeks, but I felt great at 10. Better than walking or even that just sitting - so I can't imagine why to wait till 12 weeks. Wish I started swimming sooner. If you're a swimmer, I highly recommend getting in the pool. I brought a pull buoy because I expected to not be kicking much just because of the protocol, but kicking felt great & beneficial, so I didn't use the buoy. :) Finally an encouraging experience.

Sometimes I've heard Christians say something like "Our God is a good God" or "Our God is a jealous God", "There is a God" and so on. There are also many song titles like "Our God", "A mighty fortress is Our God" and many more. But when you say "a God" or "our God", doesn't this sound like there are many more gods who exist? As far as I understand it one of the key points of Christianity is that there is one and only one God.
It's not that important, it just struck me as a little bit odd. Also, I'm not a native English speaker, so it's possible that I'm missing something. Why do people say it like this?

I (M21) went to the same high school as this girl (F21) and we had a few classes together. We were never really all that close but we would occasionally talk. I always thought she was pretty but I never did anything about it. About three years ago now, I sent her a DM on Instagram to catch up and said that we should hangout and I told her that I was kinda into her. She told me she had a boyfriend and that hangout never happened. The convo died naturally though. Anyway, I DM’d again about a year later just trying to have regular conversation and as far as I could tell, the bf seemed to be out of the picture. Our base conversations through DMs went pretty well and she said that since she was trying to get off Instagram, she wanted to give me her number. So now we text a lot. After some time, I made another move and got rejected. I told her that I was okay just being friends and since then I havent done anything. That was probably back in September… Since then we stayed in touch and text pretty often. Sometimes she’ll text first, sometimes I will. She also matches my energy pretty well. Like if I text something in all caps she’ll respond in all caps. She’s goofy and I really like that about her. Even still, we’ve never hung out in person. I brought it up a couple times and she says she wants to but it just never ends up happening due to work, school, and other stuff. She even told me she wanted to go to church with me. She’s pretty great and super encouraging. I think it’s obvious to you guys that I have feelings for her, but I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve never been in this situation before and I’m not great at getting into relationships. I feel like I shouldn’t tell her how I feel and just move on, but part of me is hoping that something has changed. She always seems really eager to talk to me, she’ll remember stuff I said from months ago, and she keeps the conversation going. What should I do from here?
TLDR; I told this girl I knew from high school that I liked her two times already despite only communicating via text. Both times I was rejected. Time has passed and I feel we have gotten closer. What should I do from here since I want to pursue a relationship with her?

This is a pretty vulnerable topic for me, but I would really like some input. Women are welcome to comment as well, but my question is primarily for men.
I have struggled with my weight for all of my life. I had the gastric sleeve when I was 20. It’s helped me a bit, but I’ve fluctuated for the past ten years. Over the past few years, I’ve been getting in pretty good shape through walking and strength training. I’m to the point where I’m average size. Unfortunately, I have loose skin. This isn’t noticeable when I’m wearing clothes. I do not say this in a bragging way, but I get a decent amount of attention on dating apps from men. It’s honestly overwhelming and stressful because I feel fake. I think to myself, “Oh they think I’m pretty, but they don’t know about how I really look.” So I end up feeling fake. Or feeling like a guy is going to be mad because I “deceived” him even though I’m doing none of that intentionally. I’m just broken. I’d like to get it removed, but it’s incredibly expensive and I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to do it. I feel like I shouldn’t try to date until I’m “fixed” and it’s all removed. As a Christian, I believe in sex after marriage. But I don’t want to surprise my future husband with all of this. So my questions are:

• How do you feel about my situation?
  
• If you were dating someone like me, how soon would you want to know about this (skin and gastric sleeve). Telling too soon often feels like overstepping, but too late feels deceptive to me. I only desire to be honest, but I want to approach it in a healthy way.
  
• How big of a turn off is it?
  

Thanks in advance! Appreciate your thoughts.

Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.

my dad used to be the breadwinner of our home, but he overworked himself and got a quad heart bypass. for the past 8 years, he's been sitting and rotting. from the moment he wakes up, he turns on the tv, connects to youtube, and does close to nothing. i mean, he'll clean our cars and do the laundry. but he doesn't know how to clean properly and doesn't cook unless asked to.
my brother (21M) and i (19F) encouraged him to start doing something light for work like ube uber eats, but he says that he doesn't want to use our family car. my dad would drive me wherever i needed, how could it be any different for ube ue? you're just getting paid to do it. our guess is that its not a "respectable" job, so he doesn't wanna do it. as if destroying your body from lack of physical activity or brain function is any better :(.
my mom has worked tirelessly for the past decade, from the day he got hospitalized to now. shes worked 16-hour work days, everyday, days off on a blue moon. i can tell shes tired, but she keeps pushing and she is understanding of his condition.
when he got hospitalized, we were in poverty. all savings and college funds were gone. we went to the grocery store to LOOK at things. we were so poor, i was scared that if i spent money from my first paycheck, we wouldn't be able to eat.
i was having symptoms of anxiety when i took out my student loans because i knew nobody would help me pay for it. the morning of my 16th birthday, i woke up and applied to jobs that had i had lined up, i was just waiting for the day i was legally allowed to work. when i turned 18, i was afraid of losing government benefits because i was a legal adult.
i work relentlessly because im consistently afraid of having no money.
on top of doing nothing, he is a pain to live with. im constantly walking on eggshells. no point in conversing cause hell turn the conversation to himself or into a lecture. cant hang out with friends with a call or text about where i am even if i tell him, but when i stay home, he gets mad at me. he doesn't let me date because i need to focus on school, even though my mom said he didn't do the same at his age. he's a hoarder and spends my moms money on random shit from salvation army. we already live in such a small apartment, but keeps adding unneeded things. you cant walk through the home without dodging or contorting to get by.
i cant help but imagine how a bit easier our life would be if my dad just made a little money. if he let go of "respectable job" thing and tried to help even a little bit. hell, when i started working i made $13/hr because it was better than nothing.
i can't afford to move out. im going to nursing school this year and have taken out a huge loan. i go to school for an escape. i just need to feel like there is someone who understands how i feel. im not good with confrontation either, we were beat heavily as kids so i know what will happen when he gets mad.

Disclaimer: I’m sorry, it’s really long.
My husband (28M) and I (29F) got married in December, a couple of years back. I’d known him since school, and we reconnected on March of the year we got married. Most of the relationship was long distance, since he lives in a different continent, but he did visit me during this time, and we stayed together for a couple of months. It was magical, and we decided to go ahead and get married.
At the time of our wedding, he was on student visa, and had just completed his course. He didn’t have a job, and was applying for jobs then. I didn’t think much of it, since I’d been working for 5 years then. I assumed I could support him till he got a stable job.
Fast forward to the wedding, his parents refused to attend because they had a disagreement with my parents over the dowry. They wanted $49k as dowry, which my parents and I thought was unreasonable. He also agreed, it was indeed unreasonable. But since his parents refused to attend the wedding, he asked if I could also not invite my parents, and if it could be just the two of us at the wedding, because he’d feel awkward as no one was present for him. (it was a court marriage) Although I didn’t like this idea initially, I agreed, because I wanted him to feel happy, as it was supposed to be our day. Then he started negging me to the point, where he chose my wedding dress, down to the Color, hairstyle, cut and everything. I didn’t think much of it, to be fair.
He flies down here, we get married, and he flies back in a week.
I was supposed to travel to the country he was at, on a dependent visa. Due to diplomatic issues between the countries, my visa gets delayed over 8 months. And we didn’t know when I’d get the visa. So, my parents suggested he come here instead, so we could be together, as he did not have a job at the time and could look for one here instead. To which he agreed, but him and mil had “demands” 1. We’re to buy him a car that costs no less than $30k since we need transportation 2. We’re to either buy a house worth $90k of their liking, at his hometown, where neither my parents or I stay, or get that money deposited in a joint account that him and I’d share, so we’d have no difficulties to “settle in”
Although I find it ridiculous, my parents agreed since they couldn’t see the distance taking a toll on us. I start looking for jobs at his hometown and secure one that pays well. It had been 2 months, but he still wouldn’t even book his tickets.
Eventually, I got the visa 10 months after our marriage, and I moved in with him and his parents. It is very awkward, since he doesn’t earn, because of which, his parents have to spend for us. Everyday, he says he’s trying to find a job, but is either playing games on his phone or asleep. I ask him to help me apply for my employment documents, which he refuses to, because he suddenly wants me to be a stay at home wife. Although I worked very hard to build my career, and it breaks my heart, I agree if it’s what makes him happy. But suggest that, I’d work till he finds a job, as I’m not comfortable with his parents spending on us. But I can’t do much, since I need a work permit, and he refuses to give me his credentials to apply for the same. This causes several fights between us.
2 days after I moved in with him, mil and husband start asking about the money and the car, we’d discussed. I told him, it was only if he were to move there, which he did not. This enraged both of them, and they’d constantly call my parents up and fight over it, making me pick sides, and if I backed my parents up, they’d starve me for a day.
Two months later, I get pregnant. Mil, for some reason walks into our bathroom, sees the pregnancy test on the counter, does not say a word to me, and proceeds to call doctors to find out how to get an abortion, in front of me. Since it was illegal in the state we were at, she proceeds to call my parents and tell them we need a $100k for the hospital expenses, at the time of child birth, since I did not have an insurance. Or I could fly back to be with my parents, and he’d come visit the child and I, every year, which I found offensive.
Eventually, when my parents didn’t agree to both of it, they said I need to go home and get an abortion. When I refused, they proceeded to starve me for 3 entire days and my dad booked a ticket and helped me escape the hellhole.
After I got home, they’d constantly call and harass me, saying, don’t get the abortion, just give us the money and we could raise the child together. When we didn’t agree, because we genuinely don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t want to raise a child all by myself, I went ahead with the abortion.
There were complications during the surgery because I was too far along, and hence I was on bed rest for over a month after it. In this time, he calls and demands a divorce, since his mother has found him a “good girl” to marry.
I felt like my world fell apart, and ended up in therapy for feeling suicidal. We eventually, had no choice but agree to a divorce.
As soon as we mentioned alimony, he said he loves me very much and does not want a divorce. He calls my parents and apologises, saying he was blinded by rage, and did not mean it, and that he wants to reconcile. Both him and mil apologise to me, for how they treated me. My parents encourage me to give it another shot, and I agree. However, I want it all in writing that, he’ll never ask my parents for money again, either he’ll come here, or I’d move there, but we get a place of our own and not reside with parents and this is to happen within 6 months. Although he agrees to these terms, he refuses to give it in writing, because it’s “disrespectful”. I do not want to reconcile, because him refusing to do it is sus.
So, I tell him I’d go ahead with the divorce, to which he says, he has no money to give as alimony. When I said that is not my problem, he faked a heart attack, which went away, the moment I asked for medical documentation.
I end up choosing mental peace and say, I want no alimony, and just want to get him out of my life. The minute I say that, he becomes extremely lovey doves and is begging me to remarry him after 2 years of the divorce. I said, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Now he’s calling all the relatives and mutual friends and painting me an asshole over it. AITA for not wanting to do anything with him and choosing my mental peace over everything?
I apologise again for the super long post.

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I am Orthodox but I visit Catholic and Protestant churches to learn about them when we don't do the Liturgy. Keep in mind that this is a recap of the sermon I heard; this does not necessarily mean I agree with it. This is to share what is actually being taught in Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant churches, which may challenge or perhaps strengthen preconceptions.
Today's readings:
Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

Galatians 5:16-25

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

John 15:26-27; 16:12-15

When the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

This evening, we celebrate the feast of Pentecost. The feast raises two questions for us: first, why does the Holy Spirit come upon the disciples only then? Why fifty days after the Resurrection, and ten days after the Ascension? Upon which conditions does He come? And second, why does the Holy Spirit, when He comes upon us, not produce the same extraordinary results? When He fell upon the apostles, they could evangelize the entire world, they were on fire for God. Why does the same effect not happen for us?
To address the first question: By the time of Pentecost, Christ had already left. The apostles' time spent with Him already felt like a distant memory. They were once full of certainty when He was with them, but now they are hiding in the upper room in fear and anticipation. Why does the Holy Spirit come upon them at that time? Because He can only fill up an empty heart; it is as with a cup of water, if it is full then adding a drop of anything else would cause it to overflow, and if it is not totally empty the new drink will only mix with the old, but it must be totally empty to be filled with the new drink.
The apostles abandoned any hope for worldly glory after the Ascension; at the Ascension itself, they still expected such a thing, asking Christ when He would restore the Kingdom of Israel, but His answer made them understand that one must not hope for a worldly kingdom, but for the heavenly Kingdom of God. Now, pride is no longer an obstacle preventing them from receiving the Spirit, for pride is the enemy of everything that is good.
Today's reading began like the scene of the Tower of Babel, as many men from around the world are gathered. Then, mankind hoped to reach up to the heavens and have its name inscribed in glory; the Tower of Babel was for the glory of man. But the gift of the Holy Spirit is for the glory of God. But, let us be careful about seeking the glory of man.
Let us look at this very church: the pillars were once as tall as those of the local cathedral, but human ambition and competition led to these pillars getting renovated to be even taller, messing up the intended proportions of the building... Also, there used to be frescoes depending the scene of Pentecost between the arcades, but the latter were modified in the baroque era: it was thought that the baroque style was more fashionable, and so these were renovated, but as a result the frescoes can no longer be seen. Likewise, pride is often hidden from ourselves, yet it truly prevents us from seeing what we should see!
So, it is when the apostles were freed from pride that they could be fitting recipients for the Holy Spirit. In fact, they were not only without pride, but they were even wounded, having before their eyes their own betrayal and abandonment of Christ. Yet sometimes, such a wound is a necessary condition to receive the Spirit as well. Here is an analogy: for a long time, we had no idea why some oysters had pearls and some did not. But it was finally discovered that an oyster generates a pearl as a defense mechanism, when it is wounded, such as when small rocks get inside their shell and hurt them. So likewise, our sin can be a necessary wound to cure us from pride.
To address the second question: When they received the Holy Spirit, the disciples began to speak in tongues and to proclaim the Gospel. But as for us, when we receive the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of confirmation, no such evident signs happen. So, what of it? Here is another analogy: When we get a car restored, we love to turn it on, to hear its engine purr, we may step on the accelerator and hear the car go “vroom”... but, the car is not actually moving, it is only making noise. One must activate the transmission manually for it to actually start. And for us Christians, there is no automatic transmission! We must connect the power of the Spirit with our own will.
Evil has nothing to do whatsoever with the Spirit, as St. Paul described in his epistle. We must actively make an effort to abstain from evil, and only then will the Holy Spirit empower us. This is not easy in the slightest, but we must find the motivation to do it! Imagine if your sins were openly published in the newspaper every day, would this not suffice to motivate you to no longer sin? Imagine if your good works were displayed to the angels in the world to come as a film for them to watch, would this not suffice to motivate you to obey the commandments?
Today, the Holy Spirit still comes upon us as He did upon the apostles. But He does not do so violently, He does not force our will; we must first align our will with Him and then He will come. If we do not speak in tongues, let us at least speak with the universal tongue known as “charity.” If we begin with this, by proclaiming the Gospel in such a manner to all those around us, not necessarily to people in another country speaking a foreign tongue but rather to the people immediately around us, then the Holy Spirit will, through ourselves, transform the world around us.
Let us pray that the Holy Spirit descends upon us, that His work may be efficacious in us. Amen.

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I am Orthodox but I visit Catholic and Protestant churches to learn about them when we don't do the Liturgy. Keep in mind that this is a recap of the sermon I heard; this does not necessarily mean I agree with it. This is to share what is actually being taught in Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant churches, which may challenge or perhaps strengthen preconceptions.
Today's readings:
Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

Galatians 5:16-25

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

John 15:26-27; 16:12-15

When the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

This evening, we celebrate the feast of Pentecost. The feast raises two questions for us: first, why does the Holy Spirit come upon the disciples only then? Why fifty days after the Resurrection, and ten days after the Ascension? Upon which conditions does He come? And second, why does the Holy Spirit, when He comes upon us, not produce the same extraordinary results? When He fell upon the apostles, they could evangelize the entire world, they were on fire for God. Why does the same effect not happen for us?
To address the first question: By the time of Pentecost, Christ had already left. The apostles' time spent with Him already felt like a distant memory. They were once full of certainty when He was with them, but now they are hiding in the upper room in fear and anticipation. Why does the Holy Spirit come upon them at that time? Because He can only fill up an empty heart; it is as with a cup of water, if it is full then adding a drop of anything else would cause it to overflow, and if it is not totally empty the new drink will only mix with the old, but it must be totally empty to be filled with the new drink.
The apostles abandoned any hope for worldly glory after the Ascension; at the Ascension itself, they still expected such a thing, asking Christ when He would restore the Kingdom of Israel, but His answer made them understand that one must not hope for a worldly kingdom, but for the heavenly Kingdom of God. Now, pride is no longer an obstacle preventing them from receiving the Spirit, for pride is the enemy of everything that is good.
Today's reading began like the scene of the Tower of Babel, as many men from around the world are gathered. Then, mankind hoped to reach up to the heavens and have its name inscribed in glory; the Tower of Babel was for the glory of man. But the gift of the Holy Spirit is for the glory of God. But, let us be careful about seeking the glory of man.
Let us look at this very church: the pillars were once as tall as those of the local cathedral, but human ambition and competition led to these pillars getting renovated to be even taller, messing up the intended proportions of the building... Also, there used to be frescoes depending the scene of Pentecost between the arcades, but the latter were modified in the baroque era: it was thought that the baroque style was more fashionable, and so these were renovated, but as a result the frescoes can no longer be seen. Likewise, pride is often hidden from ourselves, yet it truly prevents us from seeing what we should see!
So, it is when the apostles were freed from pride that they could be fitting recipients for the Holy Spirit. In fact, they were not only without pride, but they were even wounded, having before their eyes their own betrayal and abandonment of Christ. Yet sometimes, such a wound is a necessary condition to receive the Spirit as well. Here is an analogy: for a long time, we had no idea why some oysters had pearls and some did not. But it was finally discovered that an oyster generates a pearl as a defense mechanism, when it is wounded, such as when small rocks get inside their shell and hurt them. So likewise, our sin can be a necessary wound to cure us from pride.
To address the second question: When they received the Holy Spirit, the disciples began to speak in tongues and to proclaim the Gospel. But as for us, when we receive the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of confirmation, no such evident signs happen. So, what of it? Here is another analogy: When we get a car restored, we love to turn it on, to hear its engine purr, we may step on the accelerator and hear the car go “vroom”... but, the car is not actually moving, it is only making noise. One must activate the transmission manually for it to actually start. And for us Christians, there is no automatic transmission! We must connect the power of the Spirit with our own will.
Evil has nothing to do whatsoever with the Spirit, as St. Paul described in his epistle. We must actively make an effort to abstain from evil, and only then will the Holy Spirit empower us. This is not easy in the slightest, but we must find the motivation to do it! Imagine if your sins were openly published in the newspaper every day, would this not suffice to motivate you to no longer sin? Imagine if your good works were displayed to the angels in the world to come as a film for them to watch, would this not suffice to motivate you to obey the commandments?
Today, the Holy Spirit still comes upon us as He did upon the apostles. But He does not do so violently, He does not force our will; we must first align our will with Him and then He will come. If we do not speak in tongues, let us at least speak with the universal tongue known as “charity.” If we begin with this, by proclaiming the Gospel in such a manner to all those around us, not necessarily to people in another country speaking a foreign tongue but rather to the people immediately around us, then the Holy Spirit will, through ourselves, transform the world around us.
Let us pray that the Holy Spirit descends upon us, that His work may be efficacious in us. Amen.

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I am Orthodox but I visit Catholic and Protestant churches to learn about them when we don't do the Liturgy. Keep in mind that this is a recap of the sermon I heard; this does not necessarily mean I agree with it. This is to share what is actually being taught in Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant churches, which may challenge or perhaps strengthen preconceptions.
Today's readings:
Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

Galatians 5:16-25

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

John 15:26-27; 16:12-15

When the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning. I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

This evening, we celebrate the feast of Pentecost. The feast raises two questions for us: first, why does the Holy Spirit come upon the disciples only then? Why fifty days after the Resurrection, and ten days after the Ascension? Upon which conditions does He come? And second, why does the Holy Spirit, when He comes upon us, not produce the same extraordinary results? When He fell upon the apostles, they could evangelize the entire world, they were on fire for God. Why does the same effect not happen for us?
To address the first question: By the time of Pentecost, Christ had already left. The apostles' time spent with Him already felt like a distant memory. They were once full of certainty when He was with them, but now they are hiding in the upper room in fear and anticipation. Why does the Holy Spirit come upon them at that time? Because He can only fill up an empty heart; it is as with a cup of water, if it is full then adding a drop of anything else would cause it to overflow, and if it is not totally empty the new drink will only mix with the old, but it must be totally empty to be filled with the new drink.
The apostles abandoned any hope for worldly glory after the Ascension; at the Ascension itself, they still expected such a thing, asking Christ when He would restore the Kingdom of Israel, but His answer made them understand that one must not hope for a worldly kingdom, but for the heavenly Kingdom of God. Now, pride is no longer an obstacle preventing them from receiving the Spirit, for pride is the enemy of everything that is good.
Today's reading began like the scene of the Tower of Babel, as many men from around the world are gathered. Then, mankind hoped to reach up to the heavens and have its name inscribed in glory; the Tower of Babel was for the glory of man. But the gift of the Holy Spirit is for the glory of God. But, let us be careful about seeking the glory of man.
Let us look at this very church: the pillars were once as tall as those of the local cathedral, but human ambition and competition led to these pillars getting renovated to be even taller, messing up the intended proportions of the building... Also, there used to be frescoes depending the scene of Pentecost between the arcades, but the latter were modified in the baroque era: it was thought that the baroque style was more fashionable, and so these were renovated, but as a result the frescoes can no longer be seen. Likewise, pride is often hidden from ourselves, yet it truly prevents us from seeing what we should see!
So, it is when the apostles were freed from pride that they could be fitting recipients for the Holy Spirit. In fact, they were not only without pride, but they were even wounded, having before their eyes their own betrayal and abandonment of Christ. Yet sometimes, such a wound is a necessary condition to receive the Spirit as well. Here is an analogy: for a long time, we had no idea why some oysters had pearls and some did not. But it was finally discovered that an oyster generates a pearl as a defense mechanism, when it is wounded, such as when small rocks get inside their shell and hurt them. So likewise, our sin can be a necessary wound to cure us from pride.
To address the second question: When they received the Holy Spirit, the disciples began to speak in tongues and to proclaim the Gospel. But as for us, when we receive the Holy Spirit in the sacrament of confirmation, no such evident signs happen. So, what of it? Here is another analogy: When we get a car restored, we love to turn it on, to hear its engine purr, we may step on the accelerator and hear the car go “vroom”... but, the car is not actually moving, it is only making noise. One must activate the transmission manually for it to actually start. And for us Christians, there is no automatic transmission! We must connect the power of the Spirit with our own will.
Evil has nothing to do whatsoever with the Spirit, as St. Paul described in his epistle. We must actively make an effort to abstain from evil, and only then will the Holy Spirit empower us. This is not easy in the slightest, but we must find the motivation to do it! Imagine if your sins were openly published in the newspaper every day, would this not suffice to motivate you to no longer sin? Imagine if your good works were displayed to the angels in the world to come as a film for them to watch, would this not suffice to motivate you to obey the commandments?
Today, the Holy Spirit still comes upon us as He did upon the apostles. But He does not do so violently, He does not force our will; we must first align our will with Him and then He will come. If we do not speak in tongues, let us at least speak with the universal tongue known as “charity.” If we begin with this, by proclaiming the Gospel in such a manner to all those around us, not necessarily to people in another country speaking a foreign tongue but rather to the people immediately around us, then the Holy Spirit will, through ourselves, transform the world around us.
Let us pray that the Holy Spirit descends upon us, that His work may be efficacious in us. Amen.

I recently wrote the post about being worried about leaving my Muslim girlfriend because of the difference. I got a bunch of advice and amazing advice but I just wanted to give an update of how strong Jesus and God is. In the matter of a few short days of talking to my girlfriend teaching her about God, teaching her the love and sacrifice Jesus gave for her. Teaching her the reality of Islam how it contradicts itself and opening her eyes to the reality that Muhammad was a man who had sex with a child, killed many people, enslaved people. How Allah lied to his own people. How the Quran justifies the rape of women so long as the mans hand posses it. How enslaved women have no right over their body. It opened her eyes up to so much and it really caught her off guard. She started to listen to me more and more about Christ. She has a bad relationship with her Muslim family who are quite horrible to her and has been wanting to leave. I've never seen such a strong women. She has accepted that if she comes to God she will be disowned and has accepted that they will look down upon her. She wants to go to church with me and read the bible. She is starting to feel the love of God. It is amazing to see how strong she is and how much her eyes has opened to Christ. We have had deep talks about what would happen if she converts to Christianity and for a young woman accepting that she will lose her family for Christ I have never seen someone so happy to do so. She is so happy to learn about Jesus and God. She is beyond excited to go to church and start learning the bible with me. Lot is yet to come but I'm beyond excited to help teach and guide my gf to Christ. I am so happy for the future and this journey. Just wanted to say thank you and show how strong the love of Christ is. I could also tell she was off about Islam because she was talking to me a Christian and with my help she has found God and ready to accept his love. Just wanted to say this as our journey begins learning the bible and helping her build her relationship with God. Thank you all for everything.

I’m current 6.5 weeks and I’m truly miserable and have been crying day and night. My OP was 29.5 (rounded up to 30) back in 2021. Couldn’t tolerate topamax/diamox so I have been on Lasix since early 2022...about a month before becoming pregnant I was starting to experience lightheadness and was advice to drop to 10mg I unfortunately gained about 25lbs as well before getting pregnant and this pregnancy was definitely unplanned I’m 25 and just recently graduated. So a lot of variables. My NO just told me no more Lasix and said get a c-section bc im high risk. I’m already symptomatic and I have hypochondria and I am terrified and miserable, I’m having so much nausea (no vomiting) and can’t even eat or drink water, but I force myself to, and I feel miserable whether I’m full or have an empty stomach. My head hurts and I’m scared to walk around because my mind is telling me what if i collapse..I get dizzy google says it all is possibly early pregnancy. My mind is saying what if it’s IIH flaring and I’m ignoring an emergency. Tylenol barely helps..only my mom knows (I’m scared to tell my father and siblings) and I feel so alone my partner and I weren’t on the best terms when I found out, he’s trying to be there for me but I don’t want him around me. I just keep crying because I don’t know what to do. I feel horrible for considering termination but then I’m scared of termination recovery. I’m scared if my body can take carrying full term.
How were you all able to tell what was simply pregnancy symptoms vs IIH? I don’t do well with physical discomfort (the hypochondria) but this is also my first pregnancy I don’t know what’s normal for me. I’m just so scared and feel alone. Any advice/ genuine prayers/words of encouragement are appreciated

My mum turned to drugs before I was born. When she had children she stopped taking drugs but slowly turned back to her old habits when my sisters and I were little. My dad was an alcoholic so he didn’t play any part in looking after us. He would drink in the pub as soon as it opened and wouldn’t leave until it closed at night. I would still see him, but it was usually when he would come over to the house that we lived in at the time and fight with my mum. My mum had a boyfriend who was physically and emotionally abusive towards all of us. He was also a drug user, so they would often leave us alone to go out and buy drugs. I have some awful memories of him. We were badly neglected to the point that social services got involved. They tried to help my mum but had no choice but to take us into foster care. We were in foster care for six months until my grandparents won the custody battle, and we got to live with them. During the six months that we lived in care, my mum did not attempt to better herself so that we could go back home to her. Instead, she chose drugs. In 2013, we went to live with my grandparents and have been there ever since. We cut off all contact with my mum, her boyfriend and my dad. They didn’t make any effort to get in touch at all. My dad would send us letters in the post occasionally, but he would also call the home phone when he was drunk and shout abuse at us on the phone. We started a new primary school and everything was going well until I was watching a film at home with both of my sisters. My older sister is eighteen months older than me and my younger sister is two years younger than me but she’s not really involved in the situation. In the film, a couple were trying for a baby so we watched a scene where they were rolling around on a bed kissing each other. We hadn’t seen anything like it before, and we were curious about what they were doing and why they were doing it. We made up a game where we would act out what they were doing in the film. My older sister and I would kiss each other. I can remember her touching me inappropriately once and also getting me to touch her back. The kissing turned into acting out having sex by “humping” each other because we wanted to get “that feeling”. It started off as innocent curiosity, we would choose who was going to play the “boy” and who was going to play the “girl” and would make up different storylines. I was around 8–11 years old when this happened. Most of the time we had our clothes on, but sometimes we didn’t. I didn’t understand sex at all when this was happening. I can remember hitting puberty at a young age and when I got my period I thought I was dying because I didn’t know what it was. I can’t remember any of this happening regularly. I think it just happened occasionally , but I know it happened a handful of times with both my siblings as well. I don’t think I truly understood that this behavior was wrong at the time, because I had lots of raging hormones, and I was just a traumatized child. I recently told my family about what happened and they’ve been so helpful. I’m slowly starting to rebuild a bond with my sister and I’ve realized that I can’t blame her for what happened because it wasn’t her fault. I’ve also struggled with severe OCD and anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I would have repetitive rituals that I would perform. I would be terrified of leaving my room in case anything bad happened so I went to the toilet at the end of my bed. I thought that bad things would happen to me if I didn’t do things a certain way and spent a lot of my time worrying. I left primary school and started secondary school, but I struggled to keep friends and always found myself feeling left out. I can remember my dad coming to visit on birthdays and Christmas, but when we went into lockdown because of coronavirus, I found out that he had cancer. We went to visit him and say goodbye. When we did this, I saw my mum for the first time in years. On Christmas Eve 2020, a few minutes from midnight she phoned to say that my dad had passed away. I miss him a lot, but he brought my mum back into my life. I slowly started seeing my mum more often and things were going well until she got me drunk one night and took me out to buy drugs with her. I can remember sitting on the sofa with her and her encouraging me to smoke crack cocaine. I was so drunk that I did it. The next day, when I woke up, I knew that she hadn’t changed. I had £2000 savings in my account which she knew about so she would “borrow” the money for gas, electricity and food. I knew it was all for drugs and I didn’t always get the money back. She mostly just smokes weed now, but she slips up sometimes. My mental health is slowly improving but everything that I’ve just written down bothers me a lot. I can’t change the past no matter how much I want to so I just need to move forward and be more positive.

I'm (F) at a coffee shop working rn and I look over and see a guy watching Dr. K. He looks a little tightly wound and stressed. Part of me wants to just say hi and tell him I love HG too, but maybe that wouldn't be encouraging in the way I want it to be and would be more weird. How would you feel?

TW: body harm?
I (20F) room with my sister (19F) for college. Ever since we were kids, she’d often hit and punch me and get angry at me whenever she didn’t get her way or was upset and our parents did little to discipline her. I know this happened between us for 10 years (my memory has blocked out a lot of specific events though) and I remember having scars on my arms and legs from her scratching me. I’m also neurodivergent, and she’d make fun of me or say demeaning things about my appearance or the way I act.
She’d also get super hyper specific and criticize me about the smallest things I do “wrong”, which made me self-conscious as a person. It would be confusing since she’d act nice and also ask me to do things for her like her homework or chores and bribe me, but then the poor treatment would continue. She is also extremely vain and only talk about her appearance and boys while trash talking people who she deemed ‘fat’ or didn’t like, including my own friends.
Living for a year on my own for college and then being roommates with her again really put things into perspective of how terribly she treats me and my parents at times. Last year, she reverted to Christianity which I don’t have a problem with. However, she’d try and talk to me about it everyday and and would get upset when I told her I’d rather talk about something else. I would be talking about something and she’d always have to fit religion into it or make it about her. She criticizes other Christians for not upholding the same beliefs that she has and believes her way is the ‘correct’ way, and that I’m going to Hell for not believing in her specific branch of Christianity.
We don’t even hang out outside of family functions, though sometimes when we occupy the same place, it’s fine. But very quickly even if I do limit contact with her, it always results in an argument. I’m just tired of the way she talks down to me and doesn’t take me seriously. She uses the fact that she has a ‘boyfriend’ and ‘more friends’ than me as leverage, and claims that I ‘victimize’ myself when all she does is talk down to me and does the same thing when I don’t express interest in talking about religion, saying “not all Christians are bad” and says that I’m attacking her when she’s usually the first to raise her voice at me. I don’t know what to do.

My mum turned to drugs before I was born. When she had children she stopped taking drugs but slowly turned back to her old habits when my sisters and I were little. My dad was an alcoholic so he didn’t play any part in looking after us. He would drink in the pub as soon as it opened and wouldn’t leave until it closed at night. I would still see him, but it was usually when he would come over to the house that we lived in at the time and fight with my mum. My mum had a boyfriend who was physically and emotionally abusive towards all of us. He was also a drug user, so they would often leave us alone to go out and buy drugs. I have some awful memories of him. We were badly neglected to the point that social services got involved. They tried to help my mum but had no choice but to take us into foster care. We were in foster care for six months until my grandparents won the custody battle, and we got to live with them. During the six months that we lived in care, my mum did not attempt to better herself so that we could go back home to her. Instead, she chose drugs. In 2013, we went to live with my grandparents and have been there ever since. We cut off all contact with my mum, her boyfriend and my dad. They didn’t make any effort to get in touch at all. My dad would send us letters in the post occasionally, but he would also call the home phone when he was drunk and shout abuse at us on the phone. We started a new primary school and everything was going well until I was watching a film at home with both of my sisters. My older sister is eighteen months older than me and my younger sister is two years younger than me but she’s not really involved in the situation. In the film, a couple were trying for a baby so we watched a scene where they were rolling around on a bed kissing each other. We hadn’t seen anything like it before, and we were curious about what they were doing and why they were doing it. We made up a game where we would act out what they were doing in the film. My older sister and I would kiss each other. I can remember her touching me inappropriately once and also getting me to touch her back. The kissing turned into acting out having sex by “humping” each other because we wanted to get “that feeling”. It started off as innocent curiosity, we would choose who was going to play the “boy” and who was going to play the “girl” and would make up different storylines. I was around 8–11 years old when this happened. Most of the time we had our clothes on, but sometimes we didn’t. I didn’t understand sex at all when this was happening. I can remember hitting puberty at a young age and when I got my period I thought I was dying because I didn’t know what it was. I can’t remember any of this happening regularly. I think it just happened occasionally , but I know it happened a handful of times with both my siblings as well. I don’t think I truly understood that this behavior was wrong at the time, because I had lots of raging hormones, and I was just a traumatized child. I recently told my family about what happened and they’ve been so helpful. I’m slowly starting to rebuild a bond with my sister and I’ve realized that I can’t blame her for what happened because it wasn’t her fault. I’ve also struggled with severe OCD and anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I would have repetitive rituals that I would perform. I would be terrified of leaving my room in case anything bad happened so I went to the toilet at the end of my bed. I thought that bad things would happen to me if I didn’t do things a certain way and spent a lot of my time worrying. I left primary school and started secondary school, but I struggled to keep friends and always found myself feeling left out. I can remember my dad coming to visit on birthdays and Christmas, but when we went into lockdown because of coronavirus, I found out that he had cancer. We went to visit him and say goodbye. When we did this, I saw my mum for the first time in years. On Christmas Eve 2020, a few minutes from midnight she phoned to say that my dad had passed away. I miss him a lot, but he brought my mum back into my life. I slowly started seeing my mum more often and things were going well until she got me drunk one night and took me out to buy drugs with her. I can remember sitting on the sofa with her and her encouraging me to smoke crack cocaine. I was so drunk that I did it. The next day, when I woke up, I knew that she hadn’t changed. I had £2000 savings in my account which she knew about so she would “borrow” the money for gas, electricity and food. I knew it was all for drugs and I didn’t always get the money back. She mostly just smokes weed now, but she slips up sometimes. My mental health is slowly improving but everything that I’ve just written down bothers me a lot. I can’t change the past no matter how much I want to so I just need to move forward and be more positive.