Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Shock is in trouble, Bonbon is nearing safety and a spot in the final eight. What can these marbles come up with? Has the power run out for Shock?
Thunderblog 98: Auld Lang Syne
Race 83:
Thunderbolts: 7th is just not going to do it. 7 points adrift, it will require a podium and then some to survive.
Sweet Section: Bonbon’s 5th place finish inches them closer to safety. It’s not done yet, but it should not be much of a problem.
Race 84:
Thunderbolts: It is officially over Shock has a promising start but gets caught up in the bottom section to finish 7th, again. She even had a little run in with the bell carousel for old times’ sake. It was a good run, but now it is over.
Sweet Section: 5th from Bonbon and it will be 6th overall. See you next week and yes, you will be covered in your own publication.
Eulogy:
Shock surprised me over the last 12 weeks. I feel like she surprised everyone by surviving for so long. Many people, including myself, lost faith in Shock after a poor Marbula 1 season and not-great performances in other competitions. Shock earned my respect back, and I hope she earned the respect of the greater Thunderbolts’ fanbase as well.
10th place after numerous escapes and a couple of podiums is a fantastic effort and one that we will look back on fondly. I look forward to seeing you in Marble League Qualifying and, Thor-willing, in the Funnels at The League itself. Until then, keep yourself in good shape, and be ready when you are next called upon. Thank you Shock.
Other News:
In other news, Mandarin joins Shock in elimination this week, as they could not catch Slimelime at the end.
Congratulations to the podium-sitters. Saucer finished 1st, Sea 2nd, and Swax in 3rd. Best of luck going forward.
That is all for Thunderblogs until Marbula 1, assuming we are invited. I will be doing an interview with Shock after the competition is over. I do not know if I will count it as a Thunderblog or as a “Thunderblog Presents”. It depends on if I want Thunderblog 100 to be the Marbula 1 preview or something else. As mentioned above, the Sweet Section will debut this week, much to the chagrin of u/PeskyBirb666. It will come out on Thursday and Sunday, covering 4 and 3 races respectively. Thank you for joining in for all these Thunderblogs for the last 12 weeks. 36 Thunderblogs in that time frame is a-lot and I would not have been able to do it without this community caring and reading about it. Thank you, and see you on the next THUNDERBLOG!

Recap: Deviate Delight is a NA RPPVP server that had a population of almost to zero. We chose this server to repopulate as a “fresh server” experience. Away from the negativity that comes with a populated established server. We have a guild on both sides and that are now recruiting more players. We want fresh level 1 characters that we can help get to 60. Not transfers. Transfers will not be invited to the either of the guilds.
An update on how that project is going:

• We are still growing, with 100-150+ new members in each guild per day.
• We have a cross-faction agreement to run the content in phases. 4 phases. We are still very much at the start of phase 1. Some of the early players are at 60, but they aren’t geared and the bulk of our player base is around the 10-40 range. There is still so much time to get into this and catch up.
• We have peaked at 250 players online for the first time and with over 3000 characters made in the 4 guilds now. We have had to purge players who have not logged in to make room for this huge wave of new players.
• We have found the EU players have no issue playing at all. The ping is low enough to not be an issue. The only issues are needing an NA account, and needing 30 days to pass before you can trade, mail or use the AH. There are EU and Oceanic players on both sides that are having a great time with this. So the game runs fine, it’s just the new account restrictions. A lot have asked us if there’s an EU equivalent. Sadly no there isn’t yet. So until there is, come play with us instead.
• we have noticed that our peak time is at 9pm server time (east US) but we now have people online all day.
• Bots have been relentlessly mass reported and the server is virtually bot free. We intend to keep it that way. Bots are found, announced where they are and quickly swarms of players come to report.

We released the phase plan and FAQ recently, you can find that here:
https://www.reddit.com/classicwow/s/khfWVPPvXU
We are an actual community over here, instead of a mess of gold buyers, bots, boosting, GDKP, meta chasing and toxicity. People are coming from Hardcore, cata pre patch, SoD and even Retail - because of the community behaviour there.
Come and play whatever class you love here. We’ve been telling people to just play what they like and it’s resulted in a fairly even spread across the board. So just play what you like! We just want more people to chill out with in guild chat and co tribute to the economy.
We currently have an incentive to come and play on this sever. Free bags and wands on joining, with upgraded bags and gold when you hit level 15. We want people to start now, so it’s not overwhelming to start later, when there are a bunch of people at a higher level. Our aim is to help people, we’re a team. Not competing with each other.
If you are a positive person, and your time in other versions of the game could be better spent on something more positive, come and start a fresh level 1 character on Deviate Delight (NA). You will be welcomed with open arms.

I am starting to have a crush on this guy in our atelier. We see each other often; he waves and asks how I am when we meet in the atelier or the hall. The other day, I went with him to the cinema. It wasn't a date; we were walking to the train station, and he asked if I wanted to join him since I had nothing else to do. The movie he was watching was for his thesis. Before he invited me, we were hanging out with another classmate on some benches. I didn't feel included in their conversation, so I busied myself with my phone and heard him ask one of the two girls if they wanted to join him.
Yesterday, we spent the whole day together in the atelier, working and talking. I knew he would be there because he told me he would come to work, and he already knew that I am always there since I don't like being home. At the end of the day, he asked if I wanted to join him for a conference at school. I had nothing to do, so I said yes. I later noticed that some of his friends were joining, so womp womp, but I still got to sit next to him. Either way, it was a lovely conference.
During the conference, I noticed he might have been trying to look at me, or maybe he was just fidgety. After the conference, there's always this problem of me just being there and him not including or introducing me, so I just feel awkward. I did talk to some of his friends who started conversations with me.
It started to rain, so we went to take the metro. We were a group of four with three umbrellas. I noticed that the other two's umbrella was broken, so I suggested giving them my umbrella and sharing his. We got to talk and laugh. At one point, his friend turned to us and laughed—I don't know if it was what I think it was. His friend went away, and we talked more. Then there was this awkward pause, and he said, "See you Monday, I guess." He was awkward. I told him that school would be closed on Monday, so technically, it would be Tuesday.
Moving on, I messaged him on LinkedIn to share some information I found that might help him with his thesis, and we talked a little bit. Here’s a summary of that conversation:
I sent him a message about some interesting information I found on architecture servers related to prisons, which might help his thesis. He appreciated the information, mentioning he learned about an Argentinian architect he wasn't aware of before. He also shared that the concert he attended was great but tiring after 2 AM. He sent me several emojis, including waving hands and peace signs, which added a friendly and informal tone to our conversation. We chatted a bit more, with him mentioning he was going out to eat with friends. I told him I was at Pride and planned to go all-in next year. He responded, "Yeah, I love the Pride here!! Last year I participated, and it was mental ahaha but yeah, next year I'll be there for sure 😉."
I said, "This was my first ever, so I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how different the next one will be! I guess I'll hope to see you at the next one. 🌈😉
Thank you! It has been devoured xD. Enjoy your lunch/dinner (I have a hunch it might be that) and have fun!! 🍕😄"
He didn’t see it till 3 AM and didn’t respond. A guy friend told me he isn’t interested because if he was, he would have responded. I don't know how I can know if he is just a really nice guy or maybe interested. I know it’s kind of early to know or even ask him. How should I proceed to know if there is hope? Any tips? Help me, I really hate crushes.
TL;DR: I have a crush on a guy from my atelier. We’ve hung out a few times, including a cinema visit (for his thesis), a full day working together, and a conference. We had a friendly LinkedIn conversation, but he didn’t reply to my last message. A friend said he might not be interested because if he was, he would have responded. I’m unsure if he’s just nice or if there’s potential interest. How can I tell if he likes me back? Any advice is appreciated.

https://discord.com/invite/H7XBmryW
[D&D 5e][Online][Westmarch][18+][LGBTQ+ Friendly]
WELCOME TO EDGEHALLOW!
Come one come all to a long established Westmarch called Edgehallow! We've been around for over two years now and are looking for even more players to join our community. We are always looking for more DMs as well!
Things we offer as a community: •We have a large selection of source material, including races and subclasses to help you create the character of your dreams! •Frequent games that you can drop in and play A thriving roleplay format •A welcoming staff that’s always here to answer questions! •New to DND? No problem, this is a great place to start and learn!
What is a Westmarch? A DND format where larger groups of players can all enjoy the same persistent and ongoing world, where the actions of one party can affect the world for all players. Busy schedule? We have frequent games and DM’s with varying schedules and time-zones, something is bound to work for you! Want something to do between sessions? Our roleplay world is fleshed out, full of lively player characters and NPCs alike.
What is Edgehallow? ~Edgehallow is a (vaguely) Victorian era setting where magic has helped progress the world instead of technology. The starting city of Murkwell has become a hub of trade and knowledge. Because of this it has also become a hub for Adventurers. Check the quest board for adventures and tasks. Start your own business and establish yourself! Buy or build a home. Come roleplay in an open world with plenty of opportunities.~
How do I play? After you have made a character and it is approved by one of our lovely staff, you can start roleplaying right away and/or sign up for a game! We use Roll20 for our VTT and DndBeyond for character sheets. (The beyond20 plugin will allow you to roll from your DndBeyond character sheet directly to our Roll20 table, it’s sorcery in and of itself)
https://discord.com/invite/H7XBmryW

We have you, Tomboy, you call me “dude” a lot because you’re a masculine tomboy, we’re best friends along with being partners.
Anyways your parents are out for the week and me and you decide to make the most of it. We go one dates, watch some movies, invite some friends, make out, talk, play games, go on rides.
Must be literate and must have long responses (by long I mean not one sentence, at least two paragraphs.) (: All characters are 18+.

My (25F) girlfriend and I (24NB) were planning on having just one birthday party for the both of us next month, since our birthdays are only days apart and I'm going to be visiting her (we are long distance) for the week. We thought it was a good idea to have it together. The ppl invited are just her group of friends (for obvious reasons) whom I get along pretty well and already knew beforehand. The issue came around later when she asked me if she could invite another friend to the party that's not really in the group chat, and I told her that since this is a celebration for the both of us, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Now, the thing is, I don't like this particular friend at all because of some stuff he did and said in the past (about my gf). They fought and fell apart for a couple of months last year and then at the beginning of this one, after blocking her and removing her from his social media and bad-mouthing her, he asked her to reconnect and talk about it. Apparently a mutual friend convinced him. My gf accepted this and went to have dinner with him and they did talk about it, he apologized for being an asshole but told her that he was just waiting for her to reach out (cause she used to do that when they fought before and now she didn’t). At the end, she told him that they couldn't go back to what they were, but they could see how things go. She asked for my opinion on this and I told her that based on the things he said at the meeting and all that, I wouldn't really trust him, but at the end of the day it was her choice and I'd respect whatever she decided on, whether they are friends again or just acquaintances. That doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts about it though. He was an immature asshole and he hurt her and made her cry. She was dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and had depressive episodes after all went down. I understand she wants to forgive him, and I actually like how she can put all behind them and move on, but I'm not really like that.
Anyways, that was it. She told me she wouldn't want to hang out with him like just the two of them like before, but that she wouldn't avoid him if he happen to be in the same place or hanging out with the same friends.
As far as I know, they haven't been talking at all. But now she told me she wants to invite him to the birthday party and wanted to know how I felt about it. And I was honest. I don't like him and I would rather not see him, if it can be avoided. I wouldn't have said anything if it was just her party, of course, because she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but since it was a celebration for the both of us and since she asked, I guess I thought it would've been nice to have a say and all that. This didn't really sit right with her.
We had a huge fight about it and she told me she wanted to invite him anyways, and if I didn't want him there bc it was my birthday as well, we should do two separate parties so she can invite him to hers. Under normal circumstances, that would've been fine by me. But as I established before, we are long distance. None of my friends or family are going to celebrate with me there, so I think the idea is rather dumb; the only person who's not going to be invited to mine is him, the rest of the guests would be the same and really, would they even want to go to two different reunions with a two day difference just because of this one person? At the end, I told her it was fine and I would just bear with it. I'm not an immature person who's going to fill the room with negative energy just because of this, and the things he did are not really unforgivable crimes to the point I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him. He's just an asshole and a bad friend. I didn't really like the fact that she asked me like I had a choice at all, because at the end it was either we invite him or you make your own party outside of mine, but anyways.
So, that's solved. I can compromise on that and I also understand her point, I guess, since at the end of the day he is (was?) one of her closest friends. I don't know.
The thing that has been bothering me now is that after all of this went down, we talked about it more deeply and she told me that it doesn't make sense that I would hold a grudge towards the people that are in her life, cause the problems she has have all to do with her and whoever that person is and not, well, me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that? I had issues with some friends in the past and ex partners that were toxic, and the ppl around me despise them. I have a complicated relationship with my mom as well, and most of them hold resentment towards her for that reason and I'm aware of this. These problems are none of their business, I know, but I thought it was normal to watch them react to it and form their own opinions toward those people because they hurt me. And I'm dear to them. And it's the same the other way around. If you hurt my friends, I don't like you, whether you are a family member or an ex boyfriend or a toxic friend.
I asked her what does she think about the ppl that hurt me, and she told me she doesn't have any kind of resentment towards them because is not her place. She might not like them bc of their actions, but that's about it. If I decide to forgive them, she welcomes them back into her life as well.
So now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to hold grudges against someone who hurts the people who are dear to me? Am I the asshole? Should I stop?
I have spoken about this to my friends but I think I need a little more perspective, cause they all behave the same way I do when we are talking about this particular topic.

Recently I notice many users complaining, that they cannot access invite forums any more.
Some recruiters report back to tracker that users don't use their account after they were invited.
Staff may tag you as collector and suspend your access to invite forum.

Hello everyone,
I’m seeking for your advice because I don’t know how to act.
I moved to a new small town for work, Since I didn’t know anyone some coworkers adviced me to download Tinder. So I did and I matched with a girl I really liked, she lives and 1 hour and a half from me, but we started chatting and then we had a date.
In that date I went to her town we visited another beautiful town, we had a great time had drinks, walked through te town and such.
She invited me to stay the night because she knew I lived far, we did not kiss during the date, but when we got to her house and lay down to sleep, we started to kiss and then we had sex.
Any way the next day we had breakfast together, and we agreed that both of us had a lot in common and that we would like to keep seeing each other.
So as we continued texting each other, she called me handsome, sent good morning text, told each other how are day went.
One day, so one day I was a little bit horny and as everything had been fine and we already had sex before I told her I was craving her.
So she asked me what was what I wanted from her and I told her I really her and that I would like to be in a serous relationship with her in the future. She told me she would like to keep dating as well but, she asked me if we could slow down, that she knew we already had sex but that I shouldn’t expect to happened again because she needed time to get to know better.
I didn’t understand it that much because it had already happened and we both liked it, and she kept me texting sweet things, but I told her I had no problem with that.
Anyway she had an up coming wedding, from his boss at work, but she invited her female best friend, she even told me that if she knew we would had a great match she would had invited me.
I told her I understand and to not worry, but then the day the wedding was happening her best friend cancelled her, and she invited me, I don’t like being invited like that last minute. But as we agreed to keep dating and that we liked each other, and we had seen each other for 3 weeks, I agreed to go last minute. I got dressed and drove to the wedding, I was really happy to see her, she introduced me to everyone and I thought everything was going great.
But when we sat to have dinner, I placed my hand above her knee, as a sign of “we are in this together” I didn’t know anyone but her, so I needed that physical reassurance. But here is when things strayed to get weird, she did not placed her hand on mine or anything I was the only one touching her, and that felt weird, at one point she moved her leg and I took my hand away, she was not talking to me that much but more with the other people at the table.
As I got more uncomfortable I asked her if we could talk, and I told her about why she was not touching me and avoiding me, I mean I didn’t not want for us to make out at the table but not even her hand was weird for me, she told me that we had to act as friend with no physical touch, not the slightest one because it was an evento with people of her job and that everyone at her job knew she was single. So o did not liked that answer much because the other couples were touching each other and such like it was no big deal.
So I was really uncomfortable because another guy at the table who she was talking too (boyfriend of her friend) even started to called by a nick name which I found rude because I’ve just met that guy.
And given all these things I decided to leave, I told her I would leave because I felt uncomfortable, and she told me to stay and to try to have a good time but I declined, she told me she would walk me to the exit and when I was waiting for my Uber she told meif she could hug me, that she really liked hugs and was confused because she denied me the slightest physical touch when we were inside, then she hug me and then she kissed me! I mean I just wanted a little bit of touch when at the weeding but I didn’t get anything till we are alone and outside. She told me to tell her when I get home, I left around 10:30 pm but I told her that if she was interested in knowing I arrived safely that it was on her to text me, not me, she agreed to be the one to text me. I told her “we wouldn’t d see each other again “ but she told me “you know we will meet again” and left
Then I was expecting for her to text me 2 hours later she had her phone and was using it. But She texted me till 11 am in the morning if I reached my destination safe, I found that was rude because she knew I was going to drive for two hours at night and she texted me till the morning.
So I was confused and angry and didn’t answer her text, and she didn’t write anything else, that was a month ago. I still find myself thinking about her because I really liked her but it seams it meant nothing to her when first she made me believe she was looking for something serious too,
Were I the one that acted badly or was it her? Did I fucked up?
I don’t know if I should text her again, I see her photos and I really find her pretty but more than that I felt we had a lot of values in common.
Please help, give your advice Guys, thank you in advance,

So I met a girl on bumble and we start talking. She's seems to be cool, she answer to my questions, she does questions too and say things about her experience to complement her answer to my setence. It's seems nice.
With this, I asked her to hang out in a funny way which she accepted saying that was the best invite that she had.
Until here I think we are good, but when it comes to frequency of the messages I start overthinking.. Like, she takes a lot to answer, like a day almost. For example, I send mensage at the middle of the morning/lunch time and she answers back like 2/3AM.
What is your opinion, I'm overthinking?

A father despaired in a private Facebook group that he recently won in court, and while appealing he feels mom is poisoning the children against him.
Here is my reply, edited to maintain anonymity, in the hopes that it helps to protect children from child abuse, parents from domestic violence, and that it serves the interests of justice. Those doubting the authenticity of appeals are invited to join fathers groups on Facebook and observe how sadly common such appeals and posts are there.
I'm not an attorney and this is not legal advice.
You wrote:
(Above)
A motion for contempt of court is one path to seek parenting time and prevent this abuse:

Sometimes a former, or soon-to-be former, spouse or co-parent can make your life difficult by refusing to pay support or cooperate with parenting time or fighting your efforts to resolve your divorce. When inconvenience and annoyance crosses the line into the violation of court orders, you may be able to use contempt of court proceedings to correct the other party’s behavior and get your case, and your life, back on track.
https://nsssb.com/contempt-of-court-in-michigan-family-law-cases/

Minimum standards for child abuse:

Federal law definitions of child abuse and neglect
Federal legislation provides guidance to States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) (42 U.S.C.A. § 5106g), as amended by the CAPTA Reauthorization Act of 2010, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation"; or
"An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm."
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/can/defining/
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/42/5106g

Possible failure to respect:

"There is a fundamental right under the Fourteenth Amendment for a parent to oversee the care, custody, and control of a child."
Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000)
https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/530/57/

Promoting hatred of a parent may be child abuse. If the authorities are aware of this and allow it to persist they may be failing to report that abuse:

A person who, while engaged in a professional capacity or activity described in subsection (b) of section 226 of the Victims of Child Abuse Act of 1990 on Federal land or in a federally operated (or contracted) facility, or a covered individual as described in subsection (a)(2) of such section 226 who, learns of facts that give reason to suspect that a child has suffered an incident of child abuse, as defined in subsection (c) of that section, and fails to make a timely report as required by subsection (a) of that section, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 1 year or both.
18 U.S. Code § 2258.Failure to report child abuse
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/2258

Possible:

18 U.S. Code § 242 - Deprivation of rights under color of law
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/242

Possible honest services fraud:

For the purposes of this chapter, the term “scheme or artifice to defraud” includes a scheme or artifice to deprive another of the intangible right of honest services.
18 U.S. Code § 1346.Definition of “scheme or artifice to defraud”
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/1346
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honest_services_fraud

State child support, parenting time, and child protection, and elder abuse are all primarily funded under federal law Title IV-D and Title IV-E. Consider filing complaints.

HHS Office of Inspector General
Phone. 1-800-HHS-TIPS (1-800-447-8477)
https://oig.hhs.gov/fraud/report-fraud/contact.asp
HHS Office of Civil Rights
https://www.hhs.gov/civil-rights/filing-a-complaint/index.html

Failure of the authorities to protect civil rights of parents may be:
Possible cause for a federal civil rights action or lawsuit (often against a municipality, state, non-profit agency, or company) under:

42 U.S. Code § 1983 - Civil action for deprivation of rights
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/42/1983

US courts provide forms:

Complaint for Violation of Civil Rights (Non-Prisoner)
https://www.uscourts.gov/forms/pro-se-forms/complaint-violation-civil-rights-non-prisoner

Possible basis of a class action lawsuit for similar situated people:

https://centerjd.org/system/files/CivilRightsClassActionsF.pdf

Please keep us updated.
I wish you the best of luck in your search for justice.

Welcome to the Charged Creeper SMP server! Build, conceptualize and reimagine to your hearts content with the assurance of your progresses safety and longevity. If you're annoyed with unstable & buggy worlds; If you're tired of short lived servers destroying your progress; if you're tired of servers nickel & diming you creating an unfair / broken experience, we're the server for you! What else does Charged Creeper have to offer you; log in at any time, any place from any platform and see for yourself! Here are a few things we offer the community:
💎 QoL: Such as Public Warps, Personal Homes, Teleporting to Friends, Chest & Inventory Sorting, Mob Heads, Live Map, Non-Premium Crates, Discord to Minecraft Chatting, etc.
💎 Lite RPG: Mob Arenas, Dungeons w/ Custom Bosses & Loot Tables, New open-world mobs, McMMO (skilling system), etc.
💎 Non-P2W store: Complete chat customization, portable music boxes, Join/Leave announcements, etc. NO gear is sold, nor is any playable content locked behind a paywall.
💎 Voting Perks: Gain random rewards each day for supporting our server through the /vote command.
💎 Economy: Completely player-owned and operated. Choose how you want to be paid / what to sell.
💎 Cross-play: Play with your friends on any platform!
💎 Professionalism: A staff that knows the game and can rapidly identify problems to prevent server lag, bug exploits & quickly engage hotfixes to minimalize downtime.
💎 No Whitelisting: That's right, come play any time restriction-free!
💎 Safety: Land claiming keeps your builds safe. We have the ability to restore corrupted inventories, rollback damage, keep daily backups and much more!
💎 Discord: A channel with tons of extra information for the community with regular updates!
Website Discord Channel Java IP: mc.chargedcreeper.com Bedrock Port: 25566

Welcome to the Charged Creeper SMP server! Build, conceptualize and reimagine to your hearts content with the assurance of your progresses safety and longevity. If you're annoyed with unstable & buggy worlds; If you're tired of short lived servers destroying your progress; if you're tired of servers nickel & diming you creating an unfair / broken experience, we're the server for you! What else does Charged Creeper have to offer you; log in at any time, any place from any platform and see for yourself! Here are a few things we offer the community:
💎 QoL: Such as Public Warps, Personal Homes, Teleporting to Friends, Chest & Inventory Sorting, Mob Heads, Live Map, Non-Premium Crates, Discord to Minecraft Chatting, etc.
💎 Lite RPG: Mob Arenas, Dungeons w/ Custom Bosses & Loot Tables, New open-world mobs, McMMO (skilling system), etc.
💎 Non-P2W store: Complete chat customization, portable music boxes, Join/Leave announcements, etc. NO gear is sold, nor is any playable content locked behind a paywall.
💎 Voting Perks: Gain random rewards each day for supporting our server through the /vote command.
💎 Economy: Completely player-owned and operated. Choose how you want to be paid / what to sell.
💎 Cross-play: Play with your friends on any platform!
💎 Professionalism: A staff that knows the game and can rapidly identify problems to prevent server lag, bug exploits & quickly engage hotfixes to minimalize downtime.
💎 No Whitelisting: That's right, come play any time restriction-free!
💎 Safety: Land claiming keeps your builds safe. We have the ability to restore corrupted inventories, rollback damage, keep daily backups and much more!
💎 Discord: A channel with tons of extra information for the community with regular updates!
Website Discord Channel Java IP: mc.chargedcreeper.com Bedrock Port: 25566

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

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Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

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What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


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Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

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Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

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If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

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Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

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"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

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Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

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If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

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The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

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What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

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Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

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Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

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How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

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Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

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The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

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It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

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Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

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“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

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Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

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How do you find your purpose? You create it.

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Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

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Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

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A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

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How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

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Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

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Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

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If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

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10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

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‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

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Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

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Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

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Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

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‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

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Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

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Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

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‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

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How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

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Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

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Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

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Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

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I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

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I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

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A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

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A good actress will melt into her role.

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Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

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To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

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“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

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How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

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Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

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Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

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How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

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Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

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Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

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· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

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When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

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The better you look, the more successful he looks.

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Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

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“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

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People who talk less are generally more well respected.

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“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

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Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

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· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

What is this?

This is a weekly crowdfunding roundup of new projects launched last week and projects that end the coming week.

Google Docs

As an alternative format, the lists are now also available as a Google Docs found here: Weekly Crowdfunding Roundup

Updates

Expect new lists every Sunday between 00:00 and 23:59 CEST on the following platforms:
Mastodon: @danielpervan@mastodon.social
Discord: https://discord.gg/dN4P4PZcU9
Reddit: /boardgames

Selection criteria

The criteria for the lists are as follows:

Ending soon

• Sorted by number of backers
  
• Kickstarter projects ending in the next 7 days, that have at least 100 backers (or marked as "Project we love" by Kickstarter), will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and passed the filters:
  
  • No DnD books
  • No zines
  • No 3D printing
  • No dice sets
  • No magazines
  • No shirts
  • No playmats
  • No furniture
  • No events
• Gamefound projects ending in the next 7 days, that will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and passed the above filters.
  
• (beta) Backerkit Crowdfunding projects ending in the next 7 days, that will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and have a matching BGG page.
  

Newly launched

• Sorted by number of backers
  
• Kickstarter projects launched in the last 7 days, that have had at least average 15 backers per day, have at least 100 backers or is marked as "Project we love" by Kickstarter and passed the filters (see above).
  
• Gamefound projects launched in the last 7 days and passed the filters (see above).
  
• (beta) Backerkit Crowdfunding projects launched in the last 7 days and have a matching BGG page.
  

Notable filtered projects

• Filtered projects from above lists that have more than 1000 backers.

Tags

🎉: Staff pick/featured
💰: Funded
🔥: More than average 200 backers/day
🌱: Creator's first project
🌳: Creator's >5th project
🔄: Money back guarantee (Read more)

FAQ

I live in Cuba/Canada/Haiti/USA, why are you posting on a Saturday?!
Because I'm writing this from Europe in the future where it's already Sunday. Timezones be crazy.
Why are there a bunch of non-board games in the board game list?
Because the Tabletop games category on Kickstarter includes anything remotely related to board games and sometimes things slip through my filters.
Why is this future award winning board game and literal saviour of humanity missing from your list?
Sometimes my filters get a bit overzealous and discard actually valid projects. If you feel something is missing for this reason, leave a comment and I'll add it (maybe).
Can I donate all my money to you?
No
Can you help me promote my game?
Please no. I make lists. Nothing more.
Your list is full of errors and now the great old ones have awaken!
Indeed, this fine piece of code runs purely on faith, trust and pixie dust, so anything can happen. Leave a comment and I'll see what I can do.

Ending soon (18)

Name	Description	Backers	Pledged	Ends	Information	Tags	BGG
Dark Cities | Deluxe Editions	Five games of social deduction & light strategy for up to 9 players. Deluxe book boxes include upgraded components & mini expansions.	2982	$321,124.00 (1284%) in 20 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🌳
LONG DARK SEA	Long Dark Sea is a cooperative adventure card game for 1-4 players focused on exploration and combat where deckbuilding and resource management are their main mechanics. Venture into the unknown with your pirate crew in search of ancient relics in a Sci-fi universe.	1006	€136,749.40 (228%) in 19 days	2024-05-21	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑4 players 👶 12+ ⏱️ 40-60 min. Card Game Dice Game Deck Building Cooperative	💰🌱	BGG
Hannibal & Hamilcar + Metal Minis	Hannibal: Classic Edition by one of the most acclaimed game designers in the world, Mark Simonitch.	972	€102,134.25 (340%) in 6 days	2024-05-24	💸 Gamefound 👥 2 players ⏱️ 120 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Area Control	💰🌳
Picky Eaters: Ultimate Collection	A delectably devious game for 2-6 players.	681	$50,546.00 (1011%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Apistocracy	You're invited to make your season debut in a game that blends worker placement and trick-taking with the delights of Victorian London.	646	$55,877.00 (559%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 12+ ⏱️ 40-80 min.	💰🌱	BGG
Park Life 🇬🇧 🇨🇦 🇪🇺	Cozy trick-taking game. A celebration of public spaces and cute hedgehogs! 🦔🦔🦔	461	$13,854.00 (13854%) in 27 days	2024-05-22	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 15-30 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Long Live Backyardia!	A modular expansion for the award-nominated Trick-Taking and Mancala board game Bug Council of Backyardia!	454	¥2,447,309 (489%) in 20 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter 👥 3‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	💰	BGG
AI 100% Human - Boardgame	Innovative drafting game with a reserve and immediate scoring, all structured around building a tableau.	370	€24,480.00 (245%) in 20 days	2024-05-24	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-45 min.	💰🌳	BGG
Nanga Parbat: Animal Powers	A promo pack for Dr. Finn's Nanga Parbat to add even more strategy and fun to an already awesome game.	320	$4,223.00 (422%) in 12 days	2024-05-22	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	🎉💰🌳	BGG
Cosmic Chains	A tactical dueling card game of cats and robots. Build the longest satellite chain to provide the best network coverage!	293	$8,739.00 (175%) in 19 days	2024-05-26	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	💰🌱	BGG
DragonStrike	Mount your Dragon and ride into aerial combat in this fast paced but deviously cunning Board Game, using beautiful pre-painted Dragons!	261	$49,705.00 (124%) in 27 days	2024-05-25	💸 Kickstarter	💰
Potion Crafter	Alchemy calls! Fill the shelves of your magic shop with unique potions in this roll and write, print and play strategy board game.	251	€2,762.00 (2762%) in 14 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	💰	BGG
Renters + Parking Expansion (Print & Play)	Renters, is a roll & write boardgame in which we will have to host groups of up to 5 people in our building, according to a roll of the dice. But our building requires repair the elevator, air conditioning and wifi.	225	€2,117.45 (4235%) in 45 days	2024-05-20	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑10 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 20-30 min. Dice Game	💰🌱	BGG
Dungeon Rooms with FLAVOR	A deck of geomorphic dungeon rooms cards with... flavor!	205	€2,986.00 (299%) in 11 days	2024-05-24	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
Treasures Lost	Navigate wisely across the uncharted lands. Choose your path and find the lost treasures! | Fantasy | PnP | Roll n write | Dungeon |	198	NZ$4,313.00 (431%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑99 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 15-30 min.	💰🌳	BGG
Paycheck to Billionaire: Board Game Meets Financial Freedom	Start with a Paycheck, Manage Daily Bills, Invest Smartly, from Startup to Business Empire. ----A Game Changer, not only in the Game.	189	$6,500.00 (130%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-60 min.	💰🌱	BGG
[Micro May] Roll A Coaster Park - Print and Play	Build paths, rides and stalls and attract guests to your new roller coaster park in this roll and write game.	148	£1,465.00 (1465%) in 20 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌱
Post Necrone : The Party Wanted Necromancer Expansion!	Experience Deck-Building, Roguelike Exploration & Party Game Dynamics with the Latest Expansion for the Strategy Card Game PARTY WANTED	104	$3,732.00 (560%) in 29 days	2024-05-20	💸 Kickstarter	💰

New this week (30)

Name	Description	Backers	Pledged	Ends	Information	Tags	BGG
2024 Crokinole Board Season 8: Mahagony or Beech + Cases	We are back for our 8th Crokinole Project, this fan favorite will include all the best of prior projects plus wax with every board!	3481	$459,805.00 (9196%) in 6 days	2024-06-05	💸 Kickstarter	💰🔥🌳
Feudum	Game-of-the-year winner, Feudum is back with the 7th anniversary collector's edition featuring an exclusive clockwork behemoth! Grrrrrrrrrr.	2089	$273,565.57 (1094%) in 5 days	2024-06-14	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑5 players ⏱️ 150 min. Area Control	💰🔥🌱
Rove	A cooperative campaign experience for 1-4 adventurers set in a fantasy world on the brink of being consumed by nature.	1728	$257,808.00 (645%) in 6 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 60-120 min.	🎉💰🔥🌱	BGG
Masters of the Universe: Battleground	Masters of the Universe: Battleground is a skirmish miniature game for two to four players, where forces of good and evil clash in epic combat. This glorious battle will shake the earth and change the fate of Eternia!	1605	$422,043.41 (1407%) in 6 days	2024-05-29	💸 Gamefound 👥 2‑4 players ⏱️ 90 min. Wargame	💰🔥🌳
Wonders of The First CCG	Battle across 7 realms as a Stoneseeker. Just Relaunched - Get Kickstarter Exclusive Packages and Pricing!	1451	$902,420.00 (3610%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 13+ ⏱️ 20-45 min.	💰🔥	BGG
Hunted: Mining Colony 415 (2nd Edition) [Solo Game of the Month]	Become an 80s action hero who overcomes impossible odds to escape deadly aliens in the 2nd edition of this solo game!	1161	$24,565.46 (491%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑2 players ⏱️ 20 min. Card Game	💰🌳
Hannibal & Hamilcar + Metal Minis	Hannibal: Classic Edition by one of the most acclaimed game designers in the world, Mark Simonitch.	972	€102,134.25 (340%) in 6 days	2024-05-24	💸 Gamefound 👥 2 players ⏱️ 120 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Area Control	💰🌳
Oshi Push! The VTuber Trading Card Game	A TCG featuring actual VTubers, from the makers of Tanto Cuore and Game Designer, Justin Gary! www.OshiPush.com	828	$146,263.00 (293%) in 5 days	2024-06-05	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🌳
The Secret Cabal Gaming Podcast is Outta Control in 2024	The Cabal Founders are crashing into 2024 with more weekly tabletop gaming podcasts and other irreverent nonsense!	827	$51,447.00 (129%) in 5 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
BERSERKERS : Chaos Extension by Alone Editions	Berserkers is Back !	628	€16,523.00 (254%) in 4 days	2024-06-09	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
Hex Effects: A Spellbinding Card Game	Hex Effects is a “take that” card game that involves beautiful artwork and easy-to-pick-up gameplay. From the makers of Side Effects!	604	$22,937.00 (191%) in 4 days	2024-06-14	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑8 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Everbloom	A unique blend of area control, resource management, and set collection, taking place in a magical world of flora & fauna.	560	$37,685.00 (188%) in 6 days	2024-06-08	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 13+ ⏱️ 60-90 min.	🎉💰🌱	BGG
Good Dog, Bad Zombie: A Cooperative Board Game (2nd Edition)	Bark, sniff, and lick your way through the apocalypse to save the humans you love! New art, new playable dogs, & upgraded components!	554	$45,349.00 (336%) in 6 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
The Big Bad Wolf	Based on The 3 Little Pigs! Secretly pass the "Big Bad Wolf" then Entice & Persuade players into flipping it, to Blow Down their house!	440	$8,704.00 (249%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 15-35 min.	💰🌱	BGG
Catstronauts: The Board Game	The cooperative boardgame based on the hit graphic novels!	361	$23,289.00 (466%) in 6 days	2024-06-14	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 30 min.	💰🌳	BGG
World of Kilforth: The Fantasy Quest Games	Return to the stunning oceans of Kilforth! Missed the Kickstarter? Heed the call, and explore the beautiful southern seas to defend Kilforth from the deadly Ancients...	261	£27,836.80 (557%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑4 players Card Game Dice Game	💰
Amsterdam Board Game Design - season 1	Three fun card games by different members of ABGD: Bable, Grachtenpand, & TimeZoo. May this be the first season of many!	258	€7,569.00 (252%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌱
Around the World in 10 to 15 Minutes	Travel the world, explore cities, and collect souvenirs in this 2-6 player print at home game	256	$2,429.00 (2429%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Kickstarter	💰
Guns of the Old West	Players compete as a team with over 100 campaign paths. Each playthrough is a unique cinematic experience offering endless replayability. Players make strategic decisions and interact with each other to achieve their group and secret individual objectives, some of which involve betrayal, making for …	203	£36,141.95 (72%) in 6 days	2024-06-11	💸 Gamefound 👥 2‑8 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 45-90 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Cooperative	🌱	BGG
The Thinning Veil Cormac Mac Airt on the Other Side of Midnight	A solo dungeon crawl now featuring a 2 player mode set in the world of The Thinning Veil, and featuring Cormac Mac Airt, High King of Inis Fael! This game is the first in the Thinning Veil line and the Cormac series.	182	£24,123.56 (1206%) in 6 days	2024-06-11	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑2 players ⏱️ 90 min. Dice Game	💰
The 7 Seas: A New Start	Embark on a thrilling adventure in the world of The 7 Seas. Explore, trade, and fight to become a legend!	145	€12,654.80 (127%) in 3 days	2024-06-09	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 30-90 min.	💰	BGG
Freak War: A Card Game	A fun and simple pick-up-and-play card game—with unhinged rules and a hidden layer of intense strategy.	142	$11,158.00 (112%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 6+ ⏱️ 15-60 min.	🎉💰	BGG
EXPENDABLE EMPLOYEES	A Miniature Skirmish Game Inspired by Lethal Company, Content Warning & Helldivers 2!	126	CA$3,136.00 (125%) in 3 days	2024-06-15	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
Bouquet	A game of bees, blossoms, and bluffing, Bouquet is a strategic area control game where competition blooms into beauty!	105	$7,152.00 (72%) in 6 days	2024-06-03	💸 Kickstarter 👥 3‑5 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 15-20 min.		BGG
Le Vent Rouge: a Game of French Thieves & Dice	A Competitive "Roll & Spend" Strategy Game For 2-4 Players	98	$7,838.00 (52%) in 4 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 12+ ⏱️ 60-120 min.	🌳	BGG
PLACES-Bid	Outwit opponents for the most valuable portfolio of buildings, projects, and tokens through strategic bidding, collecting, and assembling.	75	$2,847.61 (28%) in 5 days	2024-06-01	💸 Gamefound 👥 3‑6 players ⏱️ 20 min. Card Game	🌱
Grassroots	The party game to change the world	74	£3,444.00 (57%) in 5 days	2024-06-19	💸 Kickstarter	🎉🌱
Simplicity Lenormand	Unlock the Mysteries of Divination with Ease	67	$7,073.00 (47%) in 4 days	2024-06-15	💸 Kickstarter
Hockey Hardware	A fun, new tabletop game for hockey fans, gamers, fantasy hockey GMs, and players who like to win.	67	CA$15,331.00 (38%) in 4 days	2024-07-15	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players ⏱️ 45-120 min.		BGG
CyberQuest. The Game of Cyberpunk Adventures	You are in the year 2081. The Black Chip agency, formed by members who participated in the Second Corporate Conflict on both sides, try to avoid a third conflict between Nakaware and Biosync.Max, an employee at Nakaware, discovers a confidential file that could spark a war. He contacts his sister R…	25	€2,223.51 (12%) in 5 days	2024-06-28	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑5 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 45-90 min. Cooperative	🌱	BGG

Notable filtered projects (5)

Name	Description	Backers	Pledged	Ends	Information	Tags
Richard Kane Ferguson's Playmat Collection	Extremely limited edition RKF extended artwork: Tutors, Force of Will and other classic and new Magic: the Gathering playmats & prints!	2698	$274,228.00 (2217%) in 28 days	2024-05-22	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🌱
Modular Filament Storage System	3D Printable Modular Filament Storage System	1792	$105,407.00 (2108%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter	💰
Kimera Velvet - Concentrated Acrylic Inks and Pure Pigments	A new line of paints for miniatures, new pure pigments set, new brushes and 150mm academic busts for painting from Kimera Kolors.	1731	€235,046.00 (783%) in 6 days	2024-05-30	💸 Kickstarter	💰🔥
The Savage World of Solomon Kane RPG	Dive deep in the world of Solomon Kane with this revised version of the RPG based upon the incredible works of Robert E. Howard!	1098	€99,363.00 (248%) in 5 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🔥🌳
Loot The Monster! - A Project that Grows with Every Backer	A DnD Treasure Trove of Unique Loot for Every Monster. Dungeons and Dragons 5E	1035	€17,424.00 (3872%) in 25 days	2024-05-25	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌱

1. Choose Batting first in a batting pitch, Choose Bowling first in a bowling friendly pitch. And choose bowling first in a neutral pitch!!! This is common sense mate You will be remembered in the history of ipl of making the most blunder toss decisions

Its not possible to win tosses in every match, but its captain’s duty to make use of the toss basically. How many matches have you lost that way. What is wrong with you mate. You choose bowling first in a batting friendly pitch (Vs Delhi). And batting first in a bowling friendly pitch (vs Chennai). It is your decision that led us to the defeat. Own it up and grow up for god’s sake. Stop making these rookie mistakes again and again. Its common sense mate.

1. Please do not use spinners that deep whether you are chasing or batting first. Understand that chahal is low on confidence. Bowl him out before 15th over. Stop trusting your bowlers blindly. Ashwin should be bowled out before 16th over. We lost 3 games because of that stupid decision of yours to use spinners after 16ht over. And almost lost two games for the same reason. NO SPINNERS AFTER 16 OVERS !!!
   
2. Our bowling is superb in the power play and amazing in the death. But we are losing lots of runs in the middle overs because of over dependence on chahal and Ashwin
   
3. WE NEED 6 BOWLERS FOR GOD’S SAKE. That’s the strategy that won us games. Swap the 6th or 7th slot accordingly. Preferrably Burger or Kuldeep Yadav for Powell or Hetmeyer. But please do not make the blunder of making these bowlers bowl the death overs as you did against GT. You need your experienced campaigners to bowl those death overs.
   
4. Chahal, Ashwin should be bowled before 15th or 16th over max. 3rd Pacer should be bowled before 17th or 18th max. 4th pacer should be bowled before 16th over max. Position of 3rd and 4th pacer can be swapped accordingly. For example, in the match against delhi avesh went for runs, but you didn’t’ have a 4th pacer there and you were forced to use parag.
   
5. Your experienced bowlers should be bowling the overs 17,18, 19,20 and one over should be bowled by your third pacer.
   
6. Ask chahal to observe how leg spinners like kuldeep, Rahul chahar are bowling, if they can bowl why can't chahal, ask him to stop fooling around and ask him stop tossing up the ball unwantedly especially in these flat tracked small grounds, go to the basics..good length into the stumps or full length yorkers. Tossing up is like simply inviting the batsmen. Ashwin was doing the same, but he came back superbly by starting to turning the ball, chahal should focus on turning and bowling good length balls instead of tossing it up..he's becoming more and more predictable and predictable.
   
7. Please use TKC as an opener for upcoming matches or you can use powell up there. BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE. Don’t’ come up tanush kotiyan or Ashwin or Keshav Maharaj or Chahal for that matter. You guys are famous for choking up at the business end of the tournament by making blunder decision making skills.
   
8. Just use your common sense. That’s it. Keep it simple and stupid. Don’t take unconventional decisions or experiments unnecessarily
   

This will be a long one as I'm still incredible confused as to what I should do.
I'm (24F) 5 months into my first serious relationship with my partner (30M) and I've noticed a pattern that's really hurting my feelings and making me doubt my future plans with him. My boyfriend works as a Chef and are very rarely home earlier than 11pm each workday. I am well aware that working in a kitchen means having long days (I met him when I was a waitress) and I accept the amount of hours he have to put into it, I knew what I was walking into, when it comes to his Job, he also knows that, as we have talked about it (hes getting a promotion in fall so then i will see him even less and theres a high probability i will have to move across the country or to a different country next summer for my education). I also knew that my boyfriend have a long time friend which I would have to accept like a package deal if I wanted a relationship with him, I just had no idea it would be as extreme as it is. His friend (lets call him Joe 28M) is the type of person that takes rejections personal, has barely any situational awareness and doesn't understand the need for privacy in a relationship. He's used to being in a relationship himself, however as I'm my boyfriends first partner in 11years, Joe have never seen my boyfriend in a relationship before and are used to being prioritized after work. Joe and his girlfriend broke up 4 months ago, and he have moved into the city where both my boyfriend and I live separately. He now lives 7min walking distance from my boyfriend, so there's plenty of opportunities for them to see each other when I'm not around. Now we get to the part that's bothering me. A month ago I was at my boyfriends place for a week, every single day he got home from work at around 10:30-11:30pm, he gave me a quick hug and kisses and then asked if it was okay if he went down to Joe's. In the beginning it didn't bother me as I believe friendships are still important even if you're dating someone so I said it was okay. Where I messed up was when he asked me the third day in a row and I let him go even when I could feel it hurt me, I was just so scared to be seen as the villian as I wish Joe will see me as a good partner for my boyfriend. During the forth day my period is hitting me hard and my hormones and cravings are all over the place. I ask him if he could bring some snacks home and he is kind enough to do it. I greet him at the door like usual, more excited as my cravings can be fulfilled and because I was looking forward to spend time with him. He then asks if it's okay if he goes out drinking with Joe and a friend. He literally watches my excitement disappear and tears welling up as he waits for an answer (he comments on it). He mentions that when he got the message from Joe that he knew I would be disappointed (I still don't understand why he didn't just decline the invitation and stay home if he knew that) because there was a third party involved this time, I again couldn't make myself say no to him even though my heart was hurting. Through all these days not once was he home before 3am, the last day he was home at 4:45am. The fifth day (his off day and mine) was reserved for me and had been for 2 weeks. I went to school at 9am to practice for my exam and were there for way longer than usual because I was hurt and trying to control my emotions before returning to him. I also secretly wished that he would wake up and ask where I was, but that didn't happen as he was still asleep when I returned at 2pm. He woke up and asked me if I was mad, I sad no but that I was irritated and hurt. We tried to talk it out but he got defensive even though I admitted I messed up by not saying no when he asked. I asked if i should just leave and decided to go home after asking multiple times with no productive response from him, I felt we needed time apart to cool down and think things through. I contacted him in the afternoon to apologize for my reaction to the situation however I also said that I wouldn't apologize for my words as I meant what I said to him. I first got a text from him 4 days later, after I had contacted him again the day before to find a day we could talk things through and fix things. The day after his text we talk and promises each other that I will do my utmost best to say no when I can feel I need to, and he will priorities spending time with me when I'm at his apartment.
Fast forward to this week, it happened again. I'm the type to always ask permission to sleep over as it's not my home, my boyfriend said there was no need to as he always expects me to sleepover. Friday the 10th we were out shopping when his mom calls (so we could finally meet each other) and they start planning after his schedule without even considering if I have other plans, luckily enough they chose Monday instead of Friday the 17th. The day after the shopping trip Joe was hospitalized for appendicitis and needed a ride home and wasn't allowed to be alone for the first 24 hours. He also needed his medicine through a needle for 7 days which he needed someone else to do to him as he couldnt make himself, that's fair enough.. My boyfriend had to sleep at Joe's and that was the right thing to do as it was an emergency, I also expected him to sleep over the second day as I take no chances when it comes to people's health. Third day My boyfriend and I are meeting his mom so Joe have to find another to poke him, he found someone with experience to do it. Tuesday he contacts me to give him his medicine as my boyfriend is working and he doesn't trust the two friends at his apartment to do it. Alright I go and do it, we end up talking about my boyfriend and i mention that i want a a little alone time with the man i love...his response "We can do things together, thats what we did when I was in a relationship" apparently he didnt understand me and i didnt want to start an argument when his 2 friends was still there...my boyfriend joins us later and we go home at around 1am. Wednesday my Boyfriend goes to give the medicine after work, that's okay but he is first home at 3am. Thursday I join them as I'm tired of not having time with my boyfriend. Joe gets the medicine and suddenly have this idea that he and my boyfriend needs to drive out of city to visit a friend and deliver some things in the middle of the night and it can't wait (Joe aren't allowed to drive when his medicated). When we get to the car I ask if it's something that will take a long time as I'm contemplating joining them or going to my boyfriends place, Boyfriend says it's probably best I just go home to his. Again he's first home around 3am as both he and Joe fell asleep at Joe's.... Friday the 17th, Boyfriend finally has a day off and so do I, we have plans to have dinner with my mom in the evening which he agreed to 3 days prior. There's no food in the fridge so he goes grocery shopping, when he comes back Joe is with him, I didn't even get a warning so I could decide if I wanted to be there or not, I get that it's his apartment however I find it disrespectful that I don't even get a text or something. Boyfriend makes the food and while we eat he suddenly invites Joe to a concert where chill and romantic music gets played, which he also invited me to months prior, like a date...Joe suddenly asks when we think we will be home from my mom's (mind you I have told my boyfriend two times both this day and Thursday, that Joe needs to find another to poke him that day) I answer and say I don't know the earliest will probably be 10pm. My boyfriend answers and says " Oh no problem! If it's 10pm we have plenty of time to get home so I can do it, you make it sound like we will be there late."....like..I don't...seriously?! I feel like he doesn't want to priorities our relationship. When we're done eating I do the dishes as he made the food and they just leave, I finish up and go to a friend's as I am incredible hurt and needs someone to listen to as I'm again in the midst of my period and don't know if I'm being irrational or if I need to be concerned. I told my boyfriend that we leave at 5pm at the latest, he calls me at 4:15 to hear where I am, I tell him and he says that he expected me to be home when he got there. I of course seem off when I get to his place and he asks me if we need to talk. I simply reply that it's not a conversation we should take today. Whole car ride is silent, when we get to my mom's, everything seems fine and we are acting lovingly towards each other as we don't wan't to worry my family. At 11:20pm on the way home he asks if I wanna talk about it now, I again decline and tells him that it's not a conversation I wanna have while I'm on my period as my hormones are all over the place, I'm sensitive and take things personal and that -in my opinion- doesn't make a good fundamental platform to have a productive conversation. He continuesly asks and I give him the same answer again and again even telling him that I need time to think things through as I want to make sure I'm not being irrational. I pack my bags when we get to his (I'm visiting my dad so I need the stuff) and he drives me home. When we're in front of my door he gives me a lecture about how communication is important and if I won't tell him what's bothering me our relationship won't last, he even said that he thinks my friends have said something to make me like this, I told him I needed to see them and he said "thats okay, I'm with Joe"...I know that's the problem, we never just have time for ourselves....I was SO close to giving him a passive aggressive answer however I also know that won't help the situation.
The fact that both Joe and my boyfriend are together every day for hours on end when they are well aware that I'm home alone in my boyfriend's apartment, I find incredible disrespectful towards me and my free time. If I wanted to be alone I would be in my own apartment, I told him that when when we had or first argument a month ago. I feel like I'm being taken for granted, the fact that he just expects me to be at his place whenever he decides to be there, or makes plans without consulting me - especially if I'm involved in the plans- are disrespectful and unkind. He often tells me that he loves me and I'm sure he does...just not the way I need him to. I need quality time just him and I, no friends, no family just us for my love tank to be refilled..I've had none of that during this week I even told him that I needed more love and attention because of my period and its like he didn't listen and take it seriously. Yes he takes me out to dinner and makes homemade food, I appreciate it and to help him out I sometimes cleans his apartment and does the laundry as he barely have any off days to do it. However I find it hard to appreciate when we're eating out as Joe is often thirdwheeling...I've even asked my boyfriend what I need to do to make him feel appreciated and loved as I've told him my love language but I don't know his, I didn't really get an answer.. All the frustrations about this week I will talk to him about this Tuesday, if he can't be with me physically for a week I need him to at least write me each 48 hours as I'm tired of always being the one initiating conversations. I of course will also set boundaries and tell him how much quality time I need to feel loved and safe. If this is how things are gonna go every time I'm at his for a week or more, I don't feel comfortable by the thought of moving in together, we've talked about marriage and kids for the future but if these weeks are any indication for how it will be like living with him, it won't happen...I love him, I truly do and thats why this situation hurt me so much, thats why i try so hard to make him feel loved and to fix things...but I also have too much self respect to accept this behavior from him and his friend. If he don't want to priorities our relationship after his Job, we won't have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy. We both have traumas from past relationships and parents, which of course doesn't make things easier, however in my opinion it is no excuse to neglect each other's needs.
I'm sorry for the rambling, and I appreciate if you've read this far. I could use an outside perspective on our situation as friends and family often times have a biased opinion.
Thanks for reading
TLDR I feel underappriciated in my relationship and wonder if I'm asking for too much from him