So I'm into philosophy, and I think naming a dog Diogenes would be a hilarious idea. If you don't know who that is here's a few links to articles and such.
https://iep.utm.edu/diogenes-of-sinope/
https://history.howstuffworks.com/historical-figures/diogenes.htm
https://www.azquotes.com/autho3992-Diogenes
The last two are funny, first one explains his life and philosophy. Anyway, he was a cynic and took pride in acting like a dog, valued freedom, and you'll see the rest in the articles and will probably get why I want to do this. Now, would this be a horrible or amazing idea? Probably horrible like all my other ideas, but I wanna hear other's thoughts.
Some quotes of his that compelled me to do this are:
"I pissed on a man who called me a dog. Why was he suprised?"
"If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate."
Also, he defacated, peed, and pleasured himself in public, like a dog. He also mocked Plato and insulted Alexander the Great.

My manager is a pussy. Ripped dude, shitty manager, extremely unqualified. I bet he's a nice guy outside of work but as a manager hes a fucking schmuck of a shell of a man. I know for an absolute (almost absolute, I'm probably wrong) fact that I am handling my cash correctly, I am not unfamiliar with counting, and I know how to count coins just as good as my ability to count to whatever.
I have absolutely no issue with giving the exact change that is owed, and I even give LESS change than is owed sometimes since our location frequently runs out of coins (which is a whole separate can of fuckery) yet my manager says I come up short on cash specifically.
In a picture sent to me, the receipt reads:
CALCULATED CASH: 889.32 DECLARED CASH: 794 SHORT: 95.32
CASH PAYMENTS: 889.32 (+) LESS CHARGE TIPS: 0.00 (-) TOTAL CASH OWED: 889.32
258 GUESTS 205 CHECKS
75 CLEARED ITEMS:
Then the receipt goes out of frame from there. I really have no clue what makes me come up short. I swear I can count cash with as much accuracy as an actual cash counter, I feel like Chuck quoting the date of the magna carta trying to convince myself that the numbers are right. If it does come down to me fudging numbers and giving too much change, then oh well, I can live with being a dumbass. But to me, this is highly unlikely as it is imperative for me personally to be exact or under value for change. So now, the theories.
It's likely that I'm not keeping track of jack since I'm usually moving back and forth doing a million things while trying to operate this piece of shit register software. (I really hate the program used to take orders) Although I'm usually calm and collected, chipotle is my insane asylum where I, a cashier, get deepthroated with complaints about cold food and undercooked rice. I'm also wet behind the ears and get insanely frustrated with chipotle customers doing chipotle customer shit while I smile and give the best customer service possible, despite them being fuckheads. So during a shift, most of my mental energy is spent constructing creative insults for these people. My coworkers tell me I'm a great cashier and they like that I stock often and clean often, but I'm dumb as fuck and can't keep of track of my knees from my elbows, so chances are that I'm ignoring issues or inadvertently giving wrong change amounts despite how much importance I place on NOT doing that. I definitely have a proclivity for getting distracted with my thoughts, though it hasn't had any real negative effect other than me wasting a few seconds to reboot and get back to work. Highly likely, but is it $95 likely?
Second theory, I figured maybe it's because I haven't been scanning 50s and 100s because I can just check it in front of my big ugly fucking mug and with my guac/sourcream/vinaigrette-sparged hands, the best technology readily available to me. I hate the technology at chipotle that creates more problems than it fixes. Quick tangent, why the fuck is there a register running windows 11, yet the consistency of portion sizes is based on hopes and dreams? Anyways, let's be real, I can't bend down to waste time scanning this shit during rush while handling twenty different tasks in the front and back, wiping down tables, cleaning the customers' huge mess left at the drink station to restock shit that's gonna run out in two minutes because the customers also love to take 60 thousand forks and 8 million napkins, (to clean what? they always leave a huge fucking mess at the drinks station and you expect me to believe they need napkins to clean something?) and dealing with my manager's shitty behavior and unnecessary fucking temper tantrums all in an hour thirty and all at the same time. (I start shift at 4, can't move at 5:30) Another unlikely explanation since the cash still goes into the register where you can count it. I figured the machine would declare the large bills, explaining why I'm short, but all the cash gets scanned at eod anyways. Plus it's impossible (I think) to come up to 95 when you have to scan 50s and 100s
Another explanation would be (non-sabotage) coworker interference. While it isn't frequently done, multiple people have operated the register without switching accounts. I don't see how that accounts into this, though. Although there are cashiers at my location who can benefit from actual training, they aren't terrible and they're not at the register long enough to rack up a 95 dollar debt in my name while I'm fetching shit or cleaning literal shit.
And that's all I have for now. Chances are that I'm fucking up, but from my perspective, I've had absolutely no issue with counting cash and giving cash. But it's a lot more likely than whatever other shit I can think of. I'm getting another job anyways since I won the shitpool lottery of moron managers at this Chipotle, but I still have to scratch this itch. If enough people tell me I'm the problem, then good, I learned something about myself, I can move on and stop thinking about this. If it's not me, then eat my dick, manager.
TL;DR fuck you, read it

I (34M) and my wife (43F) are together since 2008, married since 2017. 3.7 yo Daughter.
No affairs, no secrets, or other big issues.
Every single day of my life, from July 2009 to today, I spend my time trying to establish a dialogue with my wife without success.
She is always there physically but never mentally, I have difficulties to start a conversation and to keep it with her because she gets distracted all the time
I have tried hundreds of times to express how all this makes me feel, how much it hurts me, how I burned with all my heart to be in contact with her like we were in 2008 (the first year we were together were she was 100% connected with me), but I couldn't get through to her.
So, for all the years of our lives, the following has continued: - I try to establish contact with her multiple times during the day. - She doesn’t pay attention to me/responds in monosyllables/is not involved in the conversation or say few things then stops - I feel rejected because she doesn’t want to talk to me; I realize I’m not important to her, and by force of circumstance, I shut down because there is no communication or sharing (stone walling). - She notices the stone walling and does everything to get me out of it because she detests it, but not what she should do (i.e., insist on asking what’s wrong to establish that contact that wasn’t established before and then be available to talk in the future). Lately, her solution is to verbally or physically attack me to force the change in me (quote “enough with these damn sulking faces! Smile, damn it! Don’t just sit there like a moron”). - This is devastating for me because not only I can't talk to the person I love, but I’m also insulted if I bring up the problem. Then, when she wants to spend quality time on the weekend, when she's calmer and more relaxed, she's nice and peaceful, and I’m devastated and don’t want to spend any quality time with her because I’m not feeling well and resent her.
If I manage to start a conversation by chance, after a few interactions, she's already back in her head or mobile thinking about her things. Her lack of communication towards me is invariant to the things that have happened in our lives. How she handled things poorly with me in the past when I pointed out this issue: - Manipulation: “Come on now, it’s you who gets hung up on things, of course we talk, what are we doing right now?” - Insult: “These damn things again? Do you want the truth, Husband? You’re a pain in the ass.” - Ultimatums: “If you want, change yourself, I won’t change.” “I’m going to the lawyer.” - When pushed to the limit: sex and done. The only times she's mentally present are when we argue; then she's definitely there.
The only time I feel connected to her is during sex, but it’s 20 minutes every how many days? So, when we are old and can’t have sex anymore, we won’t even look at each other’s faces? With the arrival of the child, all this emerged like a frog jumping out of boiling water. Our daughter sees it, feels it, perceives these dynamics, and it makes her feel bad.
I’m sorry, but I’ve reached the end of my patience.
She is the only person with whom I can’t talk, but with whom I ardently want to talk, exchange ideas, opinions, thoughts, etc., even 24 hours a day for 30 consecutive days (like we did in 2008). This is our main problem. In addition to all this, in recent years, she have also added: - Severe insults - Constant threats - Spitting in my face - Kicking and slapping
She has no respect for me anymore, zero.
Affection has completely disappeared; I’m writing now after more than 8 days in which I haven't received a kiss, a cuddle, a caress from her (yes, I count them). Not once have she said to me: gosh Husband, you’re right, I’m deeply sorry, now for the next 2 hours I’ll leave my phone, this, that, and we’ll talk together. NO. It doesn’t even cross her mind.
Honestly the only thing I see viable here is divorce
But, one thing I was meditating upon is this: is my lack of self esteem the real cause of all of this? If only I had more self esteem and love for myself, wouldn't I be out of such situation?
Please share you POV with me
I don't even know how I could not have an affair with someone else after all of this lack of affection, attention and respect
Thanks

"Reality? To me that was reality. I don't know about this place. What makes you certain you won't find yourself tied here, trying to explain yourself to people who look like you? I was pretty sure that was reality. Now, well now I just don't care. This is all a dream, so do whatever you want to me. I'm not kissing the cross. Just light the pyre." Shawna told the nogs. They shuffled forward on their trunklike legs, one of them offering her a cross with a figure of a crucified nog with a golden crown and its lips puckered.
"I said I'm not kissing it. Burn me." Shawna grimaced at the horrid little nog. The nogs shrugged in unison and lifted the buckets of icy cold water at their feet. One by one they walked up to her and doused her in cold water, soaking her t-shirt and hair and making her shiver and blow water off her lips while the rest ran down her chin.
"Is she dead?" One of the nog asked.
One of them shuffled forward and waved its hands back and forth in front of her staring, lifeless eyes. "No reaction." the nog confirmed. They'd done it, they'd finally slain the Wicked Witch of the Stars. Some of the Ethgar were saddened, crying big sticky nog tears that left streaks on their faces.
Shawna held perfectly still, trying not to laugh. They really thought she was dead, they thought they'd burned her alive with their buckets of cold water. Stupid nogs, just a few moments longer and she could break free from their braided bonds and be on her way, richer than John Godson.
"I just worry her soul wont reach the Likeliness, We should hold the jesus-nog to her lips, just to be sure." A nasty little Ethgar suggested.
"We should all just shuffle off." Shawna tried some ventriloquism.
"Who said that?" Ethgar were asking each other. The nogs suddenly all looked back at Shawna, their little devil eyes glowing in the starlight.
"Oh fiddle cakes!" Shawna swore.
She didn't usually use such foul language, but she was at her wits end with the Ethgar. First, their ridiculous test of faith to learn about Red Raven, and the treasure of the Seven Wonders. Then she had to climb Mount Velvet while nogs slung biffy sludge from their blow tubes while singing insults to her. With her knuckles bloodied and fitz in her hair, she'd reached the summit only to be accused of heresy, for she'd forgotten to remove her shoes. She'd have to climb the whole mountain again, just as penance.
After the six recitals of the Bindinfingin's half a dozen holy books, the extinct lizards granted her a one-hour library pass in their sacred underground grottos. Was it enough time to memorize enough of their holy scripture to be able to compete in the junior nog bible quotation contest and become a wearer of the golden crown of the most kissable-crucifiable? It was, because Shawna really applied herself and memorized no fewer than three verses, which was two more than any junior nog had ever quoted. With the golden crown on her head, she could at last learn the last part of the legend of Red Raven, and find out where the treasure was hidden.
Wealth unimaginable, seven wonders, that's a lot of moolah.
Bindinfingin ghost-holograms followed her around with sad expressions. The long dead intelligences expected better of her.
"We've waited your return for fourteen thousand trine. Red Raven will you not reveal at last the eighth wonder? We have so waited to know the final answer." The Bindinfingin said to Shawna, but she ignored them. They almost sounded like they thought she was someone else and that the treasure was one of those 'the treasure was the adventure' or 'the treasure was really just friendship' or someshit.
Shawna wasn't going to eat an adventure-friendship treasure, not after the nog figurine got smoochies from her. "Jesus, give me the strength of patience not to kick all these nogs."
"Do dead humans talk?" A nog asked.
They began arguing and discussing whether humans could talk when they were dead. Shawna put her two cents in, insisting that she could indeed talk while she was dead.
"Thou shalt not speak to the dead." A nog zealot drew his putty maker. Others pulled out their blow tubes, spit ball launchers and bald makers. One or two had forgot to pack weapons to the witch burning ceremony, but scooped up some dirt into their empty buckets.
"Thou shalt not fart from thy mouth." Shawna said in the dark, mimicking a nog-sounding voice. Then, as she blew a raspberry, the nogs went berserk. They had divided into two groups, each with opposing religious views, although none of them were sure what religious view the group they were divided into was seeing. The sound of the raspberry was like a starting bell, and within minutes the nogs had annihilated themselves, dead nogs scattered everywhere. The last of them finished itself off. Nogs were perfectionists.
"Now for that treasure." Shawna said gleefully. She followed the path through the empty nog village and found their sacred grotto. It was unguarded, and at last, she'd done it, found what she was always told wasn't even real.
"Reality, Shawna." A familiar voice said from the silent swamps all around.
"Who said that?" She asked.
"Reality is the treasure. I just want you to come back to me. I know you're in there. I can feel you dreaming."
Shawna shook her head. "I know what's real."
A few glowing bugs floated lazily on the air past her, going off to some hollow log to party. Shawna felt watched, like someone was holding her hand. It was going to be good, when she didn't find the treasure, what a weird feeling. Shawna shook it off. The treasure was hers.
"You think you can take my treasure?" The space pirate captain's hologramatic ghost stood in her way.
"So, you're Red Raven. Notorious brigand, mutineer and baroness. I'm here for your treasure, I knew it was real, I knew it all along." Shawna smirked. "The aliens, they worshipped you, but I know you're just a criminal." Shawna told her. "You even almost had me fooled with the Bindinfingin holograms making this sound like some sort of morality scam."
"Yet you made it all the way here." Red Raven smiled, proud of Shawna.
"Of course I did. You think I don't know what's real and what isn't?" Shawna laughed.
"The treasure is real. You just have to go through that door and accept what's on the other side." Red Raven pointed. "It's the treasure."
"See? You're still trying to psych me out. I'm abouts to be richer than John Godson. Sick of this." Shawna grabbed the handle, but something felt wrong.
"Just go through." Red Raven urged her.
"I can't." Shawna felt her eyes watering. "I just want to stay here. I'm not ready."
"You'll never be ready to be rich like John Godson. Nobody ever is. Just go in there already. I gots to get my wings, Shawna." Red Raven made 'go on in' gestures, shooing Shawna with the backs of her hands waving up at her.
"If this is any kind of treasure that isn't money, I swear I'm coming back here for you, and even though you're dead, I'll choke you out anyway." Shawna told Red Raven.
"Yes-yes, all that. Now go through already, the hour draws late." Red Raven seemed to have unlimited patience, despite her efforts to urge Shawna into the treasure behind the weird creepy disembodied door floating in the swamp. The door that looked suspiciously like her bedroom door as a child, growing up. Not liking this one bit, no sir.
Shawna took a deep breath, closed her eyes, turned the handle and went through.

Don't get me wrong, she's a massive jerkhole and exists purely to get SAHRG-related injuries, and N is absolutely best boy, but I do have to give her brownie points for being, to quote a wise man, a "twintailed tsundere anime girl", and she isn't really evil. She's Lawful Neutral. She's got a moral code, and she'll stick to it if it kills her (which it has). Sure, she put a virus on N, but from her moral compass, that was the right thing to do. She gets orders, she follows them. And at that point, nobody even suspected Cyn's existence (except maybe Doll). Plus, she rebooted N herself after he got knocked offline, and she complimented him when he got them into Outpost 3. She's using her insults to motivate N to do better, since she's nice to him when he does things right (like training a puppy). This is absolutely a case of Stockholm Syndrome but frankly I don't care

First, for context; I was raised in a household where I would get either physically or mentally beaten if I did something wrong. For example, if I were to talk back to my mother she would mentally hurt me, which is why I have a low ego and constant suicidal thoughts. Now I'm an even worse person who gets mad every time someone comes into my room.
My mom believes that I am an asshole and I do too. I also get mad when anyone touches me without permission, causing me to flinch back and make them either worried or upset. I have lashed out at my own mother for touching me multiple times without permission and she tends to insult me when I do so.
I do have feelings, I'm not some emotionless person who doesn't care about anyone at all, (Not that people who hide their emotions are all like that) but I like to keep my bad emotions hidden since I used to get bullied for being the crybaby. My bad emotions are saved until I'm at home and reading, that's when I let all my bad emotions out. Nobody cares about how I'm doing (if I'm feeling bad), and I enjoy that lack of attention; which is why I like keeping my emotions hidden.
I found a quote that perfectly describes how I am in public: Chin up, Princess, or the crown slips. I'm not sure where it comes from, or who said it, but in my mind I'm always saying to myself Don't show your emotions. I hate myself for this, but I feel I should find a way to get over it.
Anyways, enough backstory, I just accidentally hurt my dog because I was mad, but gave her some treats right after because I felt bad. I feel like an asshole because I feel like I mentally hurt everyone around me. I don't deserve anyone who's nice to me because I just put on a mask so I can keep friends. I'm the definition of a faker and I don't get why I'm still alive if I just hurt everyone around me. I take everyone for granted and if they get mad at me my mask just slips off. The only negative emotion I show in public is anger and even when I do show my anger I just get backlash anyways so I always try to apologise either the next day or in the next 2 hours. Sorry to anyone who's actually taking time out of their day to read this, I know it's long. I've been forgotten by my father, who left when I was born; He doesn't even have partial custody and he forgot that I exist, leading him to forget my birthday last year. I'm basically the opposite of a narcissist, (for anyone reading this who doesn't know what a narcissist is: it's someone who has too high of an ego) meaning I hate everything about me, from my mind to my body to my personality to my life. I have thoughts of death every day and I know most people want long happy lives, but I don't.
I kind of just feel the want to get on a private jet as the pilot and purposely crash the plane.
I do self harm, but not cutting, I'll get into that later. I already have the tools to hurt myself. I sometimes pick at my body while finding everything that people hate about me, even if they don't say it. I honestly am a brat, and my mom is so helpful at cheering me up. Lies. She is awesome at making me feel better about myself. Lies. My dad is always there for me. Lies. My life is absolutely awesome. More lies. I honestly hate everything about me, like I already said. I feel like everyone I love is so happy and has a great life, other than this one friend of mine who is going through the same thing as me. We both seemed to have started getting suicidal thoughts for the same reasons. Our grandparents hate us (In my case grandparent) and they treat us like dog shit and as if we're not human. We also started having these thoughts at the beginning of our fourth grade year (In which we were in the same class.) The only two things keeping me alive right now is that I'm a fucking pussy who can't act on her thoughts, and that I have things to research that I wish I had. A recent example was a study of skin cancer. I enjoy starving myself, which is one of the only types of self harm I do; The other type of self harm consists of picking at my skin with any objects that will pinch, basically I would use a crab's claw if I got that desperate to feel pain. Pain brings me joy for some reason. I'm not talented, I'm only skilled. I have nothing special to keep me going and I'm a financial burden on my already struggling mother. Sometimes I just think of killing myself but then I think about why my mom would think. All of her friends either forget about her, abandon her, or die.
I can't talk to my mom about anything, because she's not reliable with emotions. What I can rely on her to do is feed my want for my life to end quickly.
I've also tried suffocating myself as if the self harm wasn't enough, (which it wasn't) and I've tried drowning myself multiple times. I'm just really tired of this sickening excuse for my life, if nothing brings me joy anymore. I'm not even that old, I'm not going to say my age but I'm not old. I honestly need to get my life together and suck all of my life's problems up; maybe from then on I can actually be happy. I have mental issues, which don't make this any better. I have frequent panic and anxiety attacks, (usually one after another) and I think keeping the mask of happiness isn't going to help me. If anyone else has been through this stomach twisting state of mind or anything remotely similar, please help me.
If this counts as anything, the two things that bring me a little bit of joy are designing my room and painting, which I don't even do often.

The beautiful thing about Villeneuve's movies is that they are highly rewatchable, and you can pick up on more subtleties with each viewing. We know Villeneuve prefers visual storytelling to explicit dialog, and he uses key shots to portray plot points, requiring the viewers to go further than simply listening to lines but rather to pick up on visual cues. One way he does this is through the characters' gaze, their eye contact--for Paul and Chani, what the cast has referred to as "glance passes."
There are actually some deep plot points we can infer from the glance passes throughout the film. In this post, I will specifically analyze the shots where Paul looks at Chani during the final fight scene. Paul's glances here indicate his motivations at this point in the story.
(Note: This commentary is my one humble interpretation, of course! It is based on my reading of Dune: Messiah and Children of Dune. I've redacted my references to those books as spoilers. My interpretation is also based on my understanding of Villeneuve's narrative goals for Dune: Part Two and the hints he has dropped in interviews about his plans for the Messiah film. Villeneuve has clearly stated that the love story between Paul and Chani is at the heart of this film. He has also stated that his favorite book is Dune: Messiah, which absolutely centers Paul's love for Chani and fears about her death.)
You can interpret these shots of Paul's glances on two levels, by design: (1) the level of a viewer who is casually enjoying the scene, and (2) the level of someone who knows the other "possible futures" that Paul saw after drinking the Water of Life and who generally knows what is likely coming in Dune: Messiah (the film version). This latter level is the level Villeneuve is operating on.
Key Background: Paul's Two Fears
To appreciate Paul's expressions during the Feyd fight, you have to reflect on his major motivations in this film. Without this background, you might miss the looks between Paul and Chani, and when you see them, you might think it's purely for the drama of the scene, but these glances are weighty: they communicate Paul's fears, which relate to his visions, what he saw when he drank the Water of Life, and what is to come in the next film.
The third act of the film is Paul acting out his "narrow way through." The clear vision that he saw when he drank the Water of Life becomes his battle plan; it's the only path where their enemies do not prevail. How did Paul determine this plan? Well, initially, the last thing he wanted to do was go South, because going South seemed to suggest (1) a war in his name where billions of people die, and (2) Chani dying. These are the two visions that he has during the film. He conjures these two separate visions up after Feyd's forces attack Sietch Tabr and he is talking to Stilgar. These two separate visions are what make him initially refuse to go South. It's important to note, in the book Dune: Messiah, these are also the two things that haunt Paul: "And he saw how he'd been hemmed in by boundaries of love and the Jihad." (p. 46).
But before going South, he conjures a vision of Jamis, who informed him, "You need to see"--you need to clearly see the future so that you can stop these bad things from happening. Paul still had his doubts, even after this message from Jamis. This is why he tells Chani, "If I go South, I might lose you." He does not mean "You might walk out on me," he means, "You might die." And she tells him, "you'll never lose me as long as you stay who you are," (she clearly didn't interpret his statement as meaning she might die). Paul in that moment resolves to go South, to drink the Water of Life so he can see his past (that's what the Water of Life does, gives you intergenerational memory) in order to gain clearer visions of the future. The voices in his Jamis vision tell him, "you cannot see your future without seeing our past." Paul wants this new and improved future vision so that he can figure out how to prevent his two big fears: billions of people dying and Chani's death.
Notably, by including Paul's vision of Chani's death in this film, Villeneuve made the choice to embed elements of Dune: Messiah into Dune: Part Two. Pauls' vision of Chani's death is not in the first Dune book. This is a plot point Herbert developed in Messiah, when Paul is essentially trapped into his vision and afraid to veer from its path, lest worse consequences ensue. As a reminder, Paul has a vision of the "moon falling," and he spends most of Messiah lamenting his role in the Jihad and grieving Chani's future death while desperately trying (and failing) to save her (recall his bargaining with Reverend Mother Mohaim to save Chani's life). He basically settles on the fact that the path he chose was Chani's least terrible death, with alternatives being her put in a cage, tortured, put in slave pits, etc. (See Dune: Messiah pp. 196, 314).
His Water-of-Life vision is never fully visually revealed to us, the viewers, but when he mentions the "narrow way through," we get a quick shot of Paul's hand stabbing Feyd. The "narrow way through" is the one path where their enemies do not prevail--where the crisis of Chani's death is averted. I actually think this is why Paul answers Chani's "Are you okay?" with "Thanks to you" after he wakes up from drinking the Water of Life. I think that "Thanks to you" has a double meaning--thank to you for waking me up and thanks to you for being my compass, essentially, the determining factor guiding my decision on which possible future to choose. Remember, Paul sees multiple possible futures, so the path we see in the third act of film is not an inevitable future: Paul still has to make choices and act out the future that he wants to happen. He still has to work to make that narrow path happen. Otherwise, another possible future will happen and his enemies will prevail, Chani will die, and everything will be terrible.
What does all of this mean? By the time we get to the Feyd fight, preventing Chani's death has become one of Paul's main motivations. What about preventing the billions of deaths in the upcoming Jihad!? Welp, the Jihad ultimately pops off despite this "narrow way through," so apparently Paul realized he couldn't prevent the Jihad (or maybe he could have...but at a price he didn't want to pay). In fact, based on the books, you can make a good argument that Paul makes a choice: to save Chani's life at the cost of billions of lives. We get some insight into Paul's choices regarding Chani in Messiah and in Children of Dune. (Messiah, p. 46: "And what was one life, no matter how beloved, against all the lives the Jihad was certain to take? Could single misery be weighed against the agony of multitudes?"; Children of Dune, p. 518: "I accepted the Mahdinate. I did it for Chani, but it made me a bad leader." <--these quotes suggest that Paul chose Chani--and for a while really thought he could save her--by allowing himself to become a religious figure and allowing the Jihad to happen. Basically, he chose one life over billions of lives.)
So: the "narrow way through" is how Paul saves Chani. And this is his internal monologue when he looks at her throughout the fight. I invite you to rewatch and pay particular attention to every instance when Paul looks at Chani during this fight.
Glance right before the fight: As Paul is positioning himself across from Feyd before they fight, he walks near Chani, looking at her. We get a clear shot of this look and Paul's lingering gaze on Chani as he turns towards Feyd. This is not just an empty glance. It is Paul is reminding himself what is at stake in this fight: Chani's survival.
Glance from the floor when Paul gets knocked down: Paul also glances at Chani when he is knocked down by Feyd's kick. He immediately looks at her, because falling means he is potentially losing the fight, and he knows if he loses, she dies. The "narrow way through" is for Paul to win this fight, and if he fails to enact that future, one of the other possible futures is in play--one in which Chani dies. So this fearful glance at Chani communicates, "Oh no! I'm potentially going to lose this fight and Chani's fate is sealed."
"She's your pet?" glance. Feyd just aggravates Paul's fears when Feyd follows Paul's eyeline, sees that Paul is looking at Chani, and taunts Paul, "She's your pet?" Paul hears this and looks at Chani again. We, the viewers, know at this point that Feyd keeps women as his pets. While, yes, calling Chani a "pet" is a belittling insult to Chani and to Paul, it is serving another purpose in the story: It clearly evokes one of the terrible possible futures where their "enemies prevail" and Chani actually becomes Feyd's pet>! and, if Villeneuve is borrowing themes and content from Dune: Messiah, in that book, a possible future Paul envisions for Chani is her literally being put in a cage (pp. 196, 314)!<. This, of course, reinvigorates Paul to get back on his feet and get back on that narrow path. He is now laser-focused on fighting Feyd and winning.
Glance after getting stabbed. The next glance, though, is after Paul gets stabbed by Feyd. Feyd flings him across the room and he stumbles backs toward the area where Chani is. Feyd advances towards Paul, and then there is a clear, almost slow-motion shot of him turning to look at Chani. Paul doesn't look at anyone else but Chani. And his expression is outright worry, essentially panic. Why is he panicked? He knows the future? Reminder: He's not locked into a particularly future; he knows possible futures, and he has to stick to the "narrow way through" by making choices and taking actions to commit to that path. So at this moment, he is openly concerned that he may fail and that he is truly about to die--and if he dies, we jump to one of the possible futures where Chani dies. We then get a shot of Chani looking right back at him, drawing in a desperate breath, panicked as well. Paul sees her panic. With every glance at her, Paul is getting a reminder of what is at stake. He looks back to Feyd, motivated again to try anything to win--including grabbing the knife end of Feyd's blade. Again, these are not throwaway shots; knowing Villeneuve's style and thoughtfulness, these are all very intentional moments.
Glance when he stands up after winning the fight. After Paul stabs Feyd, Paul takes the knife out of his shoulder, stands up, and what is the first thing he does? He immediately looks at Chani. We see him look at her and literally sigh with relief. Chani's expression is certainly relief that Paul survived, but Paul's expression is not mere relief that he, himself, survived. His face is communicating relief with respect to her, to Chani. It's saying, "Good. I saved her." By winning the fight and acting out his vision of the "narrow way through" (stabbing Feyd, which we literally saw as a snippet of his Water-of-Life vision), he ensured that Chani did not die. He then turns his attention toward the Emperor.
Final glance at Chani. The last glance between Paul and Chani is right before Chani exits the room. The thing I'll note about this is that, in this adaptation, Paul probably knows Chani is going to leave before he even looks at her. This was all part of his vision. So, he is turning to look to get his final glance at her, at least for the time being. And after she leaves, he sort of looks down as if to say, "It's okay. This was the only way...the way that keeps her alive." Also, we know from earlier that Paul foresaw that Chani would "come to understand." So he might also be thinking, "It's okay--she is upset now, but she will come to understand why I made these decisions." Also, since we know their relationship is at the heart of the Messiah plot, he might also be thinking, I know I will see her again. We then see Paul turn back towards the Emperor, but then turn around again to anticipate Gurney's statement that the Great Houses have refused to accept his ascendancy.
And then the "Holy War" begins...apparently, Muad'Dib's "narrow way through" was not a path where the Holy War didn't happen. Which goes to my point that maybe Paul made a choice between his two fears, the two visions that plagued him: The Holy War and Chani's death. And he chose Chani.
I hope you enjoyed this read, Dune fam! As always, these are just my interpretations, my lone opinion. You may have an entirely different take. Or you may agree with aspects of mine. Regardless, I'd love to hear what you think!

TW for SA and SH and mentions of female anatomy. Me and my friend A. ( We are both minors and females) Have been friends since the beginning of our new school year, until during December break when they suddenly stopped trying to message me and replying to me, I did try to talk to A a few times in person but they would usually brush me off. So I decided to cut contact with them completely and not soon after our other friend V. During the time I stopped being friend with A and V, A would post numerous videos about me and wanting to harm themselves, the videos about me were mainly just insulting me but they wouldn't include my name. I would ignore them until a few months ago when I tried to confront on one of their new videos about me, I basically just said "If you have a problem with me please talk to me in person or in DM's". A few of my friends would try and back me up in the comments without my consent or knowledge.
I talked to many counselors from my school about this and there was nothing they could do since their videos didn't include my name, They told me it was best if I just tried to let it die down but it's been a couple of months and it still hasn't. I haven't tried to reach out or talk to them at all and I have all their accounts blocked.
But recently (closer to the end of the school year) I've made a few new friends and A saw me walking with out of my friends. A and my new friend are in the same first period together and they went up to them and they told my new friend quote. " Are you friends with me, did you know they sexually assaulted me major lore drop I know."
I don't think I sexually assaulted them but I'm worried I might have touched them in a certain way by accident or I did something they weren't comfortable with. I'd like to mention that I've never liked them romantically or sexually at all and that both of us would playing-ly slap each others asses and that me and A had did have a makeout session before although I got comfortable after awhile and tried to make them stop, both A and V would also grope my chest, A leaving multiple bruises on me (one about my right breast and one on each of my arms) I just don't understand what I did wrong and if I did sexually assault them without realizing. Sorry if there's any errors I wrote this really quick and without much thought, there are a few details I didn't include and I don't know A's side of the story.

First of all, I want to say that I am not ableist. Nope. I think discrimination against people with factors they are both with is always bad, and basically my philosophy can be summed up in this Office quote:
"You don't call retarded people 'retards'. It's bad taste. You call your friends 'retards' when they're acting retarded."
However, I don't think the r-word (retard) is that bad. Almost every usage of the word I have heard in daily life has most definitely not been targeted to people with disabilities (actually, most of the usages are targeted to me LOL, with people I know, of course).
Even if you guys think it is really that bad, what are you actually going to do to stop it? 90% of every adolescent guy in HS either uses it or condones it as an insult towards someone for shits & giggles. If one is going to actively say they condemn it, I would imagine some ppl feel like they are walking eggshells when talking to one. I am guaranteeing you that no matter who you are, that a friend or a friend's friend uses the word "retard" or something similar, absolutely 110%; even theater kids might use it sometimes.
In school culture, at least American, it's treated more as a swear word than a discriminatory term.
Now, is the word "retarded" always funny? Of course not. It's sometimes overused so it becomes annoying and unoriginal, almost like 1st grade humor type shit. But, swearing was never meant to be original, was it? The nature of the sheer immaturity in adolescent friend groups is sometimes hilarious in itself.
Obviously, don't ever use it to people with disabilities, because again that is highly bad taste. I would like to think I support good conduct & the golden rule and therefore do not condone that kind of usage. If I had a disability, I think I would still be ok with the word retard, but just not with strangers saying that to me. Ofc, that is not something I am qualified to speak on, so if you're disabled, I'm more than glad to hear your input.
All in all, downvote me if you really think you want to, but I am more looking for inputs.

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

Let us start with the advert itself. Well, in form it is no different from the PiS adverts made by Kurski. Dramatic music, dramatic narration, dramatic frames, a few piles of skulls, a smiling Putin, Lukashenko and so on. It's obvious that the intention was to hammer the PiS = Russia equation into people's heads by appealing to the simplest of emotions, namely fear of a brutal superpower. Well, and it's a campaign ad, so of course the political opponent, i.e. PiS, is hit with a mace. Opinions differ. I am one of those who believe that this form will have the opposite effect to the one intended. In the safe electorate of PO it will probably be attractive. Everywhere else, it will cause embarrassment. As a result, many people will think that all this Russian influence is no real problem. Just another stage in the 20-year PO-PiS war. And I am not even talking about the so-called Jan Kowalski). This is exactly the tone in which professional pundits speak. It never ceases to amaze me, but what can I do, I have come to terms with the facts.
Well, it shouldn't be like that.
It has been argued that PiS has did a lot more and a lot worse over eight years. Yes, that is true. It has. And it would be nice if some pundits remembered that and didn't write silly things about how now, in May 2024, someone in Poland has called someone a traitor for the first time. Still, I guess we expected a more sophisticated rhetoric from the current government, didn't we? Because the problem of Russian influence is real and has been swept under the carpet as much as possible. And it needs to be dealt with in a calm, rational way.
That's right. Because apart from the form, there is also content in the ad. There is the statement that PiS "won the election with the help of illegally collected recordings from a Russian coal importer". Ok, here is the suggestion that PiS won ONLY because of this, which of course is not true. The 2015 victory, like any victory, was the result of many factors. Both the mistakes of the then PO-PSL coalition, the lies of PiS (Smolensk trutherism, refugee fearmongering, purported plans of privatising forests) and the poor result of the Left), which was missing a few tens of thousands of votes to enter the Sejm. Yes, this is manipulation, although we should also remember that we are talking about a 50-second election ad. Nevertheless, the base of this argument is as true as it can be. The recordings from the restaurant were commissioned by Marek Falenta, who imported Russian coal into Poland. The Russians were involved in this affair on several levels, to which I will return shortly. PiS obtained these recordings from Falenta, knowing that they had been obtained illegally and probably knowing that they were helping a Russian spy. PiS used them to help itself win the election. I'm sorry, but that's what happened.
It goes on to say that PiS increased imports of Russian coal. This is no secret either, the figures are public. In the last two years of the PO-PSL coalition, 6.5 and 4.9 million tonnes were imported from there. In the first years of the PiS government, these figures rose to 5.2, 8.6 and 13.1 million respectively, after which they began to fall. In 2019-2020, they reached a similar volume as in 2010-2011, i.e. with the PO-PSL government. Of course, this is manipulative, because to get a complete picture one would have to give the total volumes for eight years (and these are similar), while the sheer fact of the sudden increase in Russian coal imports after 2015 is undeniable.
It continued: 'Cases indicating the growing influence of Belarusian and Russian agencies have been swept under the carpet.
Excuse me, but weren't they? If it is possible to point to a constant, unchanging part of this issue during the eight years of the PiS government, it is the pattern, which has always been the same. Investigative journalists uncover some Russian influence on people close to the ruling party, some (let's be clear: some) media write about it, some of us are outraged, and then nothing happens. Little has been done about the Russian infiltration of circles opposing the government, see the Confederation, the anti-establisment and anti-vaccine movements and so on. The question 'where are the agencies' has even been asked so many times in pro-democratic social media that I could print these comments and cover my walls with them. Sorry, but that's how it was. I don't know if it gets any better, but that's the way it was.
Furthermore, 'they blocked investment in the expansion of the Polish army'.
If I were PO, I would stay away from this argument. Yes, PiS blocked the purchase of Caracal helicopters, and during Macierewicz's time as defense minister, the army sometimes even lacked uniforms. But all this is irrelevant today, given that after the Russian invasion of Ukraine the PiS government has expanded the Polish military a lot. This argument would make sense in 2019. In 2024 it does not. I note, however, that it was not as various PiS propagndists now portray it that they took power and immediately turned Poland into a military superpower. In fact, little was done in this direction for the first six years.
It continues: 'Thanks to the support and involvement of PiS politicians, Tomasz Szmydt, until recently a judge and in fact a spy who fled to Belarus, has made a dizzying career.
I don't know what could be controversial here? Probably just the clear naming of Szmydt as a spy. Actually, we don't know 100% what his role was, but ok, it fits into the convention of a campaign ad. On the other hand, the statement that Szmydt had a career on the side of PiS is, well, I'm very sorry, but: true.
Finally, there is a passage in which Tusk compares the United Right) to the communist ruling party PZPR, which was once deciphered as 'paid traitors, lackeys of Russia' (Płatni zdrajcy, pachołki Rosji) . It's all part of the political shit throwing. To make it stick, the PiS logo is turned upside down, and turns into the Russian coat of arms is. This is how the advert ends.
We have discussed the ad itself, but it has sparked a discussion about Russian influence in Poland. There is no shortage of voices saying that it is absurd to call PiS a 'pro-Russian party', because the PiS government has given a lot of military equipment to Ukraine, including priceless tanks, in considerable numbers. Let me perhaps clarify a few things.
It is necessary to specify what is meant by 'pro-Russian party'. Is PiS a party that openly says that Russia is great? No. Has Kaczyński ever said that he copied his policies from Russia? No. Has he openly sided with Russia against the West? Again, no.
But was Kaczyński saying much the same thing about the West that the Kremlin has been saying for years? Yes, he was. Did Kaczyński create a political crisis in relations with almost all of Poland's Western allies as soon as he took power? Yes, he did. Did he introduce a series of anti-democratic laws in Poland that resembled Russian solutions, albeit in a softer version? Yes. Did Kaczyński plan and promote a war with the EU institutions that ultimately led to an unprecedented freeze of EU subsidies to Poland? Yes. Did he speak the language of polexit? Yes, he did. Does all this fit into Russia's strategy of dismantling Western structures? Absolutely.
So perhaps a more appropriate word than 'pro-Russian' would be 'Russifying'? Or a little longer: 'often strongly pursuing the Kremlin's geopolitical interests, sharing the Kremlin's view of Europe and European values, as the Kremlin is fiercely anti-Western, though likely to see itself as very anti-Russian'?
Earlier I mentioned the tape scandal and the involvement of the Russians in it. Although it seems unlikely, some pundits have managed to dismiss this fact because it does not fit in with the fact that PiS supplied arms to Ukraine. Well, they say, if PiS is supposedly so pro-Russian that the Russians helped it come to power, how do you explain the aid? Well, first of all, its proponents forget something as trivial as chronology. When the people linked to the Russians were setting up the background to the tape scandal, there was no war. It was 2010-2012, and the first wiretap was set up in the spring of 2013. There was no Euromaidan, no rebellion in Donbas, no annexation of Crimea. No one could have predicted how PiS would behave in 2022, because no one expected anything unusual to happen in 2022.
On the other hand, it was foreseeable that PiS would be an anti-Western party. That it would be a party that would confront the EU and its individual members. That PiS would say similar things about the EU as Russia, as PiS had been saying for years, and that it would ally with far-right circles that said so even more. That it would make a mess in the intelligence agencies, just like in 2006. And now let's look at the chronology. In 2013, the first bugs were set up. In June 2014, a scandal erupts, the media repeats all these vulgar quotes for months, which kills off PO's chances in the 2015 elections. In the autumn of 2015, PiS takes power and almost immediately: breaks into the NATO counterintelligence expert centre, abolishes the ABW field delegations, removes almost everyone from the agencies and fills them with newcomers with no experience (just like in 2006), makes Macierewicz the head of the Ministry of Defence with all his Russian connections, which Macierewicz immediately turns into a landing spot for people with Russian connections (such as Gaj and Kownacki), supports the pro-Russian think tank Ordo Iuris and immediately initiates an anti-Western civilisational turn. In this context, should we be so surprised that the Russians might have preferred the PiS in power?
All this happens six years before any tanks are handed over to Ukraine. I know, shocker, history didn't start in the spring of 2022.
Well, and now PO is releasing that ad. And some people say: oh dear, now PiS is going to accuse PO of being pro-Russian and the PO is going to accuse PiS of being pro-Russian, It's unbearable, so let's pretend it's not happening. I won't hide it, it's tiresome. But it would be nice if, as a species, a rational species, we could sometimes look beyond the political insults and focus on the evidence. And there really is a lot of it. The fact that the advert presents the case in this way does not change the fact that the situation is extremely serious.
It has been argued that PO's ad is setting the European Parliament campaign entirely on the Russia-EU divide. This is true, but there is a nuance. Leaving aside the clumsy form and the manipulation I explained above... isn't it the case that it was PiS that just took part in no less than three summits of European and American eurosceptics, Trumpists and Putin lovers, where it was explicitly said that this is the election in which it would be decided whether Europe would return to 'normality', traditional values, Christian roots and a 'Europe of homelands', or be swallowed up forever by the woke behemoth? Needless to say, this is a narrative very similar to the one the Kremlin has been using for years?
In short, what we need now is a serious debate about Russian and Belarusian influence in Poland. A debate that has been sorely lacking in recent years. This debate will inevitably become part of a political conflict. It will not be avoided because we are also talking about the influence of top politicians (not only from the PiS, by the way). All the more reason to be careful. The PO ad is a campaign ad, so it has a different convention. Nevertheless, in my opinion, it does the opposite. It reduces a real problem to a political trend. We can only hope that this is just a stupid idea of a few PR excecs and not part of a strategy that will last for years. The recent actions of the ABW and the fact that Donald Tusk has announced the appointment of a commission of experts to investigate these influences allow for some cautious optimism on this issue. Time will tell, of course.

At this year's Ill-defined Language-learning Concepts (IDLLC2024) conference, we have an exciting new event, where we will present the first ever ill-defined language-learning concept of the year medal to honor the pioneers whose diligent research has led language-learning students globally to be more confused and uncertain about their study methods.

IDLLC: How should I learn Spanish? Yes.

Please nominate your ill-defined language-learning concepts by the end of May 2024 to be eligible for the prestigious IDLLC medal.
I seek a panel of volunteer judges to judge the nominated concepts. We recommend the judges base their judgement on the following "ill-defined concept index":

• Is the concept vague? [+5 points] Does it involve three of: reading, writing, listening, speaking? [+10 points (+20 points for all four)] Is it so vague that it means whatever you want it to mean? [+20 points]
  
• If you ask two students to write down the definition of the concept, would they give totally different answers? [+10 points] Might a student do the direct opposite of what its inventor said, and still think they are using the concept? [+25 points]
  
• Does a YouTuber claim the concept is amazing? [+1 point per YouTuber] Does a YouTuber make money directly from the concept? [+3 points per YouTuber] Has some YouTuber founded a company named after the concept? [+15 points] Does a YouTuber use it to tell people how to learn a language they have near-zero experience with? [+7 points per YouTuber per language (capped at 50 points)]
  
• Do people tend to argue with and/or act smug towards students if they don't immediately understand the concept? [+5 points] During such interactions, do people highlight how they're studying or have studied applied linguistics? [+10 points] Do people take steps to explain the concept clearly? [-7 points]
  
• Is the concept basically a fancy way of saying "you should study"? [+5 points] Is it a goal held by every single language student (e.g. comprehending input), perhaps slightly rephrased? [+10 points] Does its name use terms from other disciplines to make it sound legit? [+15 points]
  
• Does the inventor insinuate or directly claim there's a conspiracy because language teachers are not using the concept? [+10 points] Does the inventor's research students now insinuate the same conspiracy theory? [+5 points per research student] Does this conspiracy include languages the inventor has near-zero experience with, while the teachers they're insulting have a lifetime of experience? [+50 points]
  
• Are people conducting genuine research related to the concept? [-15 points per peer-reviewed publication]
  

Quotes from previous conference attendees:

"Back in the '70s, I'd hang out at libraries waiting for librarians to give basic advice to kids like 'maybe you shouldn't read that book, it's too hard'; a gem like that could establish you as a top researcher. But nowadays there's so many ill-defined concepts, so taking credit for things students would ordinarily do is becoming a kind of art. Cheers to the IDLLC organizers for recognizing and promoting this artform."
"When I started my PhD, I used to respect hard-working language teachers, but at my first IDLLC (maybe in 2019 or 2020), the plenary speaker explained how every single language teacher (including volunteers) is in a global conspiracy to keep the best methods from students in order to make more money. Gee, how naive I was back then."
"My student had been making steady progress for months, but after my intervention, she now spends at least half her time deciding which method to use. It's things like this, y'know... you just can't put a price on an experience like that."
"After moving into applied linguistics, I only have to test new ideas on a class of kids learning French; this is the standard for many researchers to instruct every language learner in the world, regardless of their goals, personal situation, or target language, on how they should learn their target languages. I used to be in medical research, and I told my former colleagues about this streamlined research method, but they said that a treating a 7-year old boy's broken arm is a different procedure to a 50-year old woman's cancer screening. Sounds like they're in cahoots with language teachers."
"One of my students came up to me the other day, asking 'I keep failing my exams, what should I do?', and since I've been keeping abreast with research trends, I carefully explained 'you should pass them'."
"I remember when I was young, and my brothers wanted to be astronauts. But not me, I wanted to be an applied linguist."

/s

With the announcement that movie number 3 is in production, I felt nostalgic and fairly sad at the idea of Downton Abbey without the fabulous Dowager Countess.
In all honesty, she was my favourite character and her little one liners never failed to amuse me (often leaving me in fits of laughter).
The new movie will not be the same without her.
So, in honour of her magnificence, I'm asking you to share your favourite Violet-ism; whether that be a carefully guarded or not so carefully guarded insult, a comment that highlighted how out of touch she could be with the real world, a humorous moment, or any other quote.
Here are a very limited list of mine off the top of my head (because I would list 5 from every episode if I could)

• What is a weekend?
  
• I'm so sorry, I thought you were a waiter.
  
• Good heavens, what am I sitting on? (When she sit/swings on Matthew's office swivel chair 🤣)
  

Your turn!

So for a while or so I've been playing older Sonic games just to see if they still held up. So far a majority of the games I played were at the very least good with some of the best ones being Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic rush. But something that might be my biggest Sonic hot take ever is that Heroes is one of the worst games in the entire Sonic series(unpopular opinion I know but let me explain myself). And just a heads up this is gonna be a long one because I got a lot to say about this game.
Because this game has a lot of aspects that I don’t like, I'm going to first touch on some aspects I actually like about the game. Even though not every character was written the best I will say some stand out characters I enjoyed are Cream and Omega, especially Omega but I wanna touch on Cream first. Ever since reading the IDW comics I've always had a soft spot for Cream just from how innocent and adorable she was and that sentiment continued with how she was paired with Blaze in Sonic Rush. I was admittedly nervous about how she would be portrayed in Heroes for reasons I'll get into later but she was handled alright. Nothing too groundbreaking but she kept her cute nature and even had some small moments of sass which was nice. The real star of the show was E-123 Omega. He really only has one thing on his mind with destroying Eggman and doesn’t really go through any sort of character arc, but that’s fine with me because the dude’s funny as hell with how aggressive and angry he is. He doesn’t have much of a face or eyes that are able to emote but you can still tell exactly what he’s thinking. I can’t explain why but every piece of dialogue that comes out of his…mouth?....speakers?...is hysterical. From “ANNIHILATE” to “USELESS CONSUMER MODELS” even down to when he says “GOOD” every time you pop an item box or balloon every quote is comedy gold with how monotone his voice is. The chemistry each team has with each other is nice to watch since from their dialogue you can tell that these trios have known each other for a while, are good friends with one another, or in Team Dark’s case just work friends(but their banter is still entertaining with how Omega keeps telling them to stay focused). And the music is good but as a Sonic fan that’s par for the course at this point. What I’m Made Of is a stand out banger for me.
But unfortunately that’s where all the positives end as we move into the negatives with one of the biggest being the physics of the game being poorly optimized. Throughout my playthrough I have run into so many bugs or victims of poor game design that I’ve lost count. But over half of my deaths have been due to the fact that there are no invisible walls to act as safety nets for players incase they misclick or even do something as simple as do a homing attack or perform a 3 hit combo with a power character, the latter happening way too often because power characters are the most reliable way to deal with enemies. Enemies bumping you are also a common way to die but not because of running out or rings, but because of the lack of walls keeping you on the platforms. Speaking of the homing attack, with how the movement physics work with speed characters I never use them because they end up being too slippery to control with instances where it feels like I'm fighting for control just so I can move forward in a straight line or hit a boost pad on a loop. The Light Speed Dash works whenever it feels like it and there’s no way to aim the homing attack so you pretty much have to press A twice and pray that rn-Jesus does you nice, otherwise you’re falling down a pit like you’re Scrooge McDuck diving into a vault of gold coins. And remember how I said enemies bumping you off cliffs was a common way to die? Well they can also just combo you for free because this game has no invincibility frames meaning you can get hit once and then instantly die if you or one of your teammates doesn’t pick up a ring right after being hit. This is especially apparent in horde fights like Robot Storm where you can get easily swarmed. And a staple mechanic from Sonic Adventure 2 that was butchered in this followup was the rail grinding. It was super fun to build up speed by balancing and crouching but now you just mash B with any real sense of speed being from a speed character. And heaven forbid you decided to grind rail with a flight character unless you like sliding at the speed of a snail, but you might wanna do that anyway to be save because if you switch rails the game doesn’t magnetize your character to it risking you to just shoot yourself off the map just for swapping rails or getting off of a rail.
Another awful aspect with the game is the team mechanic itself. It’s an interesting idea on paper to be able to swap between 3 characters to perform different actions based on what the level throws at you. But the problem with that is not every formation is balanced. The flying formation is awful in every way. The totem formation itself looks weird and looks especially janky with how it looks when going off a set of springs or going through a dash panel loop. How it controls itself makes absolutely no sense either; you jump and jump again to fly which drains a meter, which makes sense since Tails worked in a similar way back in Sonic 2 and still works like that in every other 2D classic style game. But I didn’t learn until the last story that the gauge only drains if you move forwards and won’t drain if you don’t move forward which not only makes no sense but doesn’t work like that in Sonic 2 at all. And whenever the meter runs out you might think that you would just glide down to the floor right? No. Instead the game halts all of your momentum and has you fall straight down like a boulder making flying based platforming impossible which was not the case in Sonic 2. And for some reason there’s a limit for how high you can go even though there’s already a limit you can fly for. Wanna know what game allows you to fly as long as you want until you run out of stamina? SONIC FUCKING 2 ON THE SEGA GENESIS/MEGA DRIVE. Sonic Heroes not only came out 10 years after Sonic 2 but was released on more powerful consoles so I'm baffled that they didn’t even try to make any of this shit work in any similar fashion. And this gets even worse for Sonic Heroes because you know how I just described how they would have improved the flying mechanics in Sonic Heroes? Well it WORKS EXACTLY HOW I JUST EXPLAINED IN SONIC ADVENTURE FOR THE THE DREAMCAST 1999. What the hell were they thinking with this!? This makes absolutely no fucking sense. And the Thunder Shoot attack? It doesn’t do much except paralyze enemies and hit targets meant to help you move forward in levels. Except it only does one of these things correctly since the game doesn’t auto target the targets meaning 90% of the time you’ll be constantly throwing your teammates into the ether while missing entirely as you try again and again to change your angle to hit the target just so you can move on with the average 10 minute level. And the switches you’re meant to pull are janky in their own right but the switches you have to fly for are the worst since no matter how close you get to that switch the game won’t register what you’re trying to do which is annoying as balls. And as the finishing touch all flying character have no differences in gameplay despite slight animations and apparently they have this unique attack they can do if they don’t have party members to throw with Thunder Shoot by pressing B again...but the game doesn’t tell you that and even knew that you’ll never see it in practice because if you toss a teammate with Thunder Shoot they’ll come back almost instantly.
And the biggest failure is that you can no longer spin dash in this game. It’s no big deal, it’s not like they removed one of Sonic’s most essential moves in his arsenal that was present all the way from Sonic 2 and was even in Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, useless crap like that. Instead you have to use the stupid Rocket Accel which can’t be activated instantly like the spin dash with instead having the player get a running start to have your teammate boost you forward that doesn’t go as far as the spin dash in Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. It’s an alright concept that would be fine to keep if the spin dash remained in the game and not replaced with some trash faker that doesn’t hold up to the original. Which leaves us with the power formation which is the best formation by far but not by much. Power is the easiest one to control since it allows you to properly control your character at a moderate speed, a novel concept I know. But combo attacks that involve the character moving forward in a short burst are risky to use since you could wind up pushing yourself off the map which happens way more often than you’d think and more often than it should. And because they have to share data with all the playable teams they away Knuckles’ ability to climb walls in favor of a tacky looking team glide for platforming just like they took away the Spin Dash.
Another team related mechanic the game introduces is something called the “Team Blast” which has a gauge fill up every time you deal damage to enemies or collect rings no matter how you collect said rings(remember this for later). When a team gauge is filled you can perform a Team Blast by pressing Z that acts as a screen wipe that clears almost every enemy on screen. I say almost because it doesn’t really remove every enemy on screen because some doof over at Sonic Team thought it would be a good idea to give an ultimate attack that’s meant to wipe out all enemies on screen with a limited range, which is smaller than you’d think by the way. Each Team Blast has their own special effect that appears for around 10 seconds after the attack is used which i’ll be talking about when I talk about each team on their own but know that after Team Sonic’s Team Blast Sonic will be able to use the Light Speed Attack from Adventure 1 and 2…but that’s useless when you’re able to still fight as Knuckles and it fucks up your Thunder Shoot when attacking bosses.
And the next fancy mechanic they try adding in is the new level system. And I hate this system so much. The idea of the level system is that your character starts off dealing an ok amount of damage but can get stronger the more you level up by collecting orbs that can drop from enemies. Speed characters get a stronger spin dash, flight characters get a stronger Thunder Shoot, and power characters get stronger combo enders. The problem is that in terms of combat no Sonic game has ever worked like this. For the most part every enemy in a Sonic game that came out before and after Heroes is able to be one shot by a simple jump, roll, spin dash, homing attack, mech shot, boost or punch with the only exceptions I can name off the top of my head being Sonic Rush, Sonic Unleashed’s night stages, and Sonic Frontiers. But those 3 examples are excusable since with Rush it’s only one enemy that has more than 1 HP that doesn’t spawn often and with the other 2 being based more on combat than speeding through levels as fast as possible. Your team will only be satisfying to play after everyone as at the maximum level of level 3 which can be difficult to do since whichever orbs enemies drop when defeated are not only random for when exactly they’ll drop but it’s also completely random who the level up is meant for. Imagine needing to level up your power character to get through a large horde of enemies but instead all the levels go to the other 2 teammates that are virtually useless in a fight. “Ah dammit, I needed a power orb to get to level 2…ah well might as well give my other teammates their 50th orb of the fight.” The only ways to get guaranteed levels for a certain character is with certain item boxes and balloons scattered throughout the level and with checkpoints but the latter only works for the character leading the formation when touching the checkpoint, not to mention they’re single use only. And say you grinded all those levels so you can blitz through this level, guess what, if you die all of your levels get reset and it doesn’t matter if you only lose a life or game over. And i’ve made it very clear how easy it is to unintentionally kill yourself in this game.
Something else that isn’t properly explained is the hidden difficulty system. The problem is that each team campaign has a hidden difficulty system but the game doesn’t tell you that at all unless you want to willingly listen to Omochao(note that I played the tutorial and afterwards I actively avoided his tips on the main menu). The difficulty from easy to hard is Teams Rose, Sonic, Dark, and Chaotix being a gimmick team but the game orders them from Sonic, Dark, Rose, Chaotix which is bad game design because not only are people gonna wanna play as the main character Sonic the Hedgehog, but with how the stories are laid out players would instinctively play from left to right causing them to play the game on normal, hard, easy, and then gimmick which doesn’t make too much sense. I knew the difficulty levels before going in but I played in order of Sonic, Rose, Dark, Chaotix because I like Sonic as a character. But what I wasn’t prepared for is that this game is kinda hard even on the normal difficulty because the game is full of jank that can just kill you for playing the game as intended.
But now for Team Rose and Team Dark. Team Rose is so piss easy that it’s insulting for players who are well affirmed with the series. For one they force you to play the tutorial even after you’ve completed a story previously. Which btw this is the most bullshit tutorial in the history of gaming. Most games have pop ups with button commands and visuals to help the player out or they let the player figure things out themselves. Sonic Heroes does neither of these but instead have this little annoying ass robotic fuck hold your hand throughout the entire thing. What makes this worse is that every time he pops up to tell you what to do your character is stuck in place as you gotta wait for him to shut up so you can play the game only for you to be stopped by his rambling again and again and again until it’s finally over. And most of the skills players can learn on their own since it’s not that hard to just press a random button and get immediate feedback of “oh this button does this? cool beans''. Their moveset is also broken with Amy’s tornado attack being a moving projectile meaning you don’t have to willingly get in contact with the enemy in order to use it, Big having a combo that doesn’t have him move so he can’t fall off the map along with a broken belly flop that’s good for not only combat but weirdly enough platforming, and Cream…she’s just the flier. Their Team Blast is just a win button for no good reason. Not only does it give all of your teammates a free level, not only does it give your team a shield, but it makes your entire team INVINCIBLE. Ok game I get it, stop treating me like a baby. And the finishing touch is that all the levels are cut in half. Awesome. Setting up unrealistic expectations for newcomers and disrespecting older players in one foul swoop.
And then there’s Team Dark…oh Team Dark…when they said this was the “hard” mode they were lying. Because it should’ve been called “kaizo” mode. Enemies are everywhere including places they shouldn’t be, the amount of rings available is greatly reduced, And the bosses become borderline impossible to beat at times(except for the rival fights but we’ll get to that). And not only are there more enemies but the stronger variants of said enemies spawn more frequently. And you’d think their Team Blast would make things better, well yes and no but here’s why. Their Team Blast freezes time completely and I mean completely. Rings don’t spin, projectiles don’t move, even the timer doesn’t tick down. But the most annoying part is if you’re using your Team Blast to try and move forward the puzzles are stuck in time too until the gauge runs out so you gotta sit and wait to move on. And even after you move on the game will probably toss 3 giant armored robots at you at once that fight like mini-bosses(if you know you know) immediately after your Team Blast just ran out.
But before I talk about the final team with Team Chaotix I wanna talk about the level design! Yippee! Except not really because it’s all terrible. The locations and themes are unique in their own right but each level suffers from their own issues coupled with all the bugs that can kill you outright without the player having any time to think about what just happened. Ignoring the main bugs, Seaside Hill and Ocean Palace are fine first levels in all honesty. Power Plant’s elevator section is long and tedious and it’s worse if you have a character than use the Light Speed Dash along with a super stressful rising lava section that you gotta hurry up to climb or else you’re dead. But oooh nooo it’s not that easy because the lava moves faster along with the player which means if you’re too slow, you die and if you’re too fast…you die. Casino Park and Bingo Highway have pinball mechanics that will leave you stuck in one of the tables forever unless you’re a pinball god or just lucky. And we just love games marketed at children that encourage gambling addictions, especially if said gambling minigames are rng. Rail Canyon and Bullet Station rely entirely on rails which don’t work properly as I said before and Bullet Station in particular has a cannon that’s supposed to shoot you onto another rail track but in actuality it fires you straight into the death zone if you’re unaware about this and hold forward…and because it’s a Sonic the Hedgehog game you’re gonna do that. “Gotta go fast” and all that. Frog Forest and Lost Jungle have flying flowers that are so jittery they’re impossible to control, swinging vines with an awkward timing window, and it ends on a chase sequence against a giant crocodile that relies on the janky vines that last way too long. Hang Castle and Mystic Mansion are puzzle-filled mazes with ghost enemies that show up at the worst of times to jumpscare you…which is all the time, and everything else(we all know these levels sucks moving on). Egg Fleet and Final Fortress have tons of bullshit cannons that can home in on you, can snipe you out of the air which can hit you out of a platforming segment and send you falling to your death, crumbling floors, everything’s in the sky so there’s almost no floor to stand on, and rails. The worst part about it all is that all 4 campaign’s use the same exact 14 levels. You heard me right. ALL 4 CAMPAIGNS USE THE EXACT SAME LEVELS. Sonic Adventure 2 had 2 campaigns with levels that heavily differed from each other one way or another. Each campaign has either a speed level, a treasure level, or a mech level and even then it’s not equal to how many levels each type of level gets and each level has a different setting and music track. Rush is the one case I can think of where the campaigns had minor differences. Only thing is that those differences are huge. The levels are the same but they’re in a different order for Sonic and Blaze, Blaze plays completely differently from Sonic, Blaze gets her own music tracks, and Sonic has to use special stages to get the Chaos Emeralds while Blaze doesn’t need any to get the Sol Emeralds. And at the end of every other stage you gotta face off against-
Bosses! They all suck for different reasons. The mech fights boil down to mashing homing attacks like it’s a Mario Party minigame, the rival team fights are a joke, and the horde fights…oh my god the horde fights. I’m just gonna rip the band-aid off here. ROBOT. FUCKING. STORM. This is not only the worst “level” in Sonic Heroes but the worst boss fight out of any Sonic game I have ever played. Team Sonic’s is hard enough as is, Team Rose’s is a pushover(as is every boss in their campaign really), Team Chaotix…we’ll get to them later. But Team Dark’s has to be the boss fight that throws the bullshit at you. Don’t believe me well then let’s see here, we got; a long robot gauntlet that feels like it takes years to get over with, more enemies that spawn with a lot of them being the stronger variants of the enemies we’ve already be accustomed to, multiple giant hammer wielding robots paired with either robots that heal them or robots that sap all your rings which because it’s a Sonic game it’s basically life steal, and because this game was programmed with monkeys holding hammers the enemies will constantly knock your ass off the map and there is NOTHING you can do about it except pray. Pray to rn-Jesus that you can make it out alive with what little sanity is left in your body. And after all that Eggman has the balls to say what I'd call the worst line in any Sonic game, “Don’t get too excited boys! Those were the easy ones!”. It’s genuinely unbelievable that such a level exists. This was marketed towards kids. How is fucking little Casey who just got Sonic Heroes as their first video game gonna beat this shit? He’s not. Because the developers didn’t think about that just like they didn’t think about anything in this game except making a “fun” gimmick. But that’s not all. Because there’s one more boss...
Egg Emperor…and the bullshit continues. I definitely know what true evil is when facing this boss all right. The fight consists of running across a few platforms before making your way over to a bigger arena. The boss only has 3 attacks but 2 of them are what make this boss a slog to get through. He can fire energy waves by swinging his lance like he’s Cloud Strife and a charge attack that has no weaknesses that the game says activates whenever you’re too far from him. Because this is a Sonic game I figured that meant he can only charge if you’re too slow, but if you manage to run ahead of him he’ll charge anyway. But if you get too close to him you could risk either getting hit by a lance beam or by his massive hurtbox. And you might be thinking “why don’t you homing attack the body at that point?” and that’s because he has a shield that blocks all attacks and it’s only worth attacking his body after the second part of the fight where you go to that arena section. In the arena section you have to destroy some cannons and defeat some enemies before getting to the big man himself. You can make him drop his shield by using Thunder Shoot and follow up with your Power character but you probably wouldn’t do as much damage as you were hoping for since in order to do any real damage you’ll have to level your Power character up to level 3 which could take forever in this fight. After a certain amount of time the boss will flee causing you to chase after him again and repeat the boss cycle. But don’t go too fast because then you’ll wind up smacking right into his body or he’ll swat you out the air like a fly with a lance beam attack. And you can’t go too slow or else he’ll just charge at you which if he does it at the wrong time he can intercept your approach and boop you off the map meaning you’ll be dead. And if you thought that was enough, because the developers don’t know how to properly make things different between campaigns you have to fight this motherfucker 4 SEPARATE TIMES. And it doesn’t matter what campaign you go through because you’ll always have a tough time regardless of difficulty. I know it’s the final boss and that it’s meant to be a challenge but holy shit tone it down, there’s kids playing this shit.
And the last campaign involves Team Chaotix and they’re by far my favorite team to play as…and they still have problems. Instead of going through levels the same way you did 3 separate times already it instead focuses on missions. And I have mixed feelings about this. It’s great because it finally keeps things fresh and gives the player another way to experience the game that isn’t platforming focused. The problem is the fact that it’s still the same levels, levels that were meant for an action platformer instead of things finding an x amount of…I don’t know seashells. While the treasure hunting stages were my least favorite aspect of Sonic Adventure 2 they at least did a better job with the concept than some of the collecting missions in Heroes since the maps are built specifically for this kind of gameplay and there was at least a tracker telling you if you were going in the right direction. The Chaotix has you searching through levels you’re meant to speed through while not giving you any sort of tracker to tell you if you’re in the right direction. The Casino Park one in particular was the worst one because of the instructions: “Win 200 Rings!”. Anyone who sees this probably assumes they mean to use the slot machines since we’re a casino level with slot machines built into the pinball tables. But the thing is you can easily just collect 200 rings by playing the stage. But the game doesn’t say collect 200 rings, it says win 200 rings which is the dumbest piece of misinformation in this game and that’s saying something since this game loves to withhold information from the player for no reason. Like did you know you can fire your Thunder Shoot at nothing to charge your team gauge? Or that even though the game says to use a Speed character’s tornado to deal with shield enemies Power characters can punch right through them no problem? You probably didn’t because the game doesn’t tell you this. Anyway the stealth missions are the best ones because Espio’s invisibility is broken. And their Team Blast causes any enemy destroyed to turn into rings and for the duration of the meter any enemy destroyed turns into rings. This is the most broken move in the game. Why? Well remember when I said that the Team Gauge charges from attacking enemies and collecting rings? Well the game counts any rings collected towards the meter. Meaning if you destroy enough enemies at once with this attack you can immediately get your gauge back to repeatedly use again and again. It’s such an easy exploit to pull off that I'm not even surprised that this was left unchecked in all honesty. It even makes the dreaded Robot Storm look like a joke.
So that’s it. You beat all the 4 campaigns and you’d think that it’s time for the usual last story, right?...right? Well unfortunately special stages make a return and with that the 7 Chaos Emeralds. And this is by far the worst one. In the past special stages were unlocked by method of holding at least 50 rings until the end of the stage and jumping into a warp ring in Sonic 1 or holding at least 50 rings and jumping into a star post in Sonic 2 or by jumping into a giant warp ring hidden in the level in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Sonic Heroes decided they wanna be a bit quirky in a horrible way. In order to access the special stages in this game you have to collect a key hidden in the stage and bring that key with you until the end of the level or mission in order to unlock the special stages and collect the Emeralds…there’s so much wrong with this…Not only is it already easy for the game to send your ass to the shadow realm for existing but if you get hit and lose your key it doesn’t just fall out like rings do, it disappears completely meaning you’ll have to reload at a checkpoint or worse, restart the entire level every single time you get hit. And after you get through that bullshit we get to the special stage itself…if you’ve played this game you already know what’s up. The special stage acts similarly to the half pipe in Sonic 2 but except it’s a full enclosed pipe you run around in. The goal is to collect orbs to fill your boost meter and speed ahead to catch the emerald. It sounds very simple but remember, this game was coded by monkeys with hammers so the physics don’t function. Your character will constantly jitter around while moving making positioning yourself impossible when trying to collect the orbs. You have to pick between a Power or Speed character because Flight characters are too slow to do anything but even then you’re picking your poison. Do you wanna control your character better at the cost of speed or do you wanna go fast in order to get the emerald quickly at the cost of controlling your character? ‘Cause that’s exactly what it feels like. And I'm still not done because each Emerald is locked into every other stage. Sonic 1, 2, and 3 & Knuckles allows you to get the Emeralds as easy as the first 2 or 3 zones if you know what you’re doing. If you miss an emerald in one of the few stages they appear in you’ll have to repeat the level and do everything I just explained ALL OVER AGAIN. WHAT KIND OF COLLECTOR HATING SADISTIC BASTARD THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA WHEN THE EMERALDS ARE REQUIRED TO BEAT ALL OF THE STORY!? Before going in I knew how bad the special stages were while being blissfully unaware how bad the unlock requirements were so I used save states(yes I used an emulator) to collect the emeralds in a timely fashion. Not only did this end up taking longer than expected even with save states but I was forced to keep using them for every time I got hit, sent off the stage, or missed the Emerald causing my save file to corrupt and erase all my data. Which caused the auto save to fail and use exclusively save states to progress. And let me tell you, nothing’s scarier than booting up the game and discovering all of your save data has been completely erased even after you completed 2 campaigns previously.
Before I get into the last couple topics of discussion I'll touch on some minor things that don’t warrant their own paragraph individually. The voice acting is hit or miss with stand outs like Omega and Sonic and then there’s instances of some of the worst voice acting in the series with Tails where they deadass brought an 8 year old to voice the character. “Look at all those Eggman’s robots!”. But it gets weirder since Cream was voiced by an actual voice actress and Charmy was voiced by a teenager. Doesn’t help that the game has the characters not stop talking for every single damn action in the game. It’s the same cheesy lines for the entire playthrough. The game looks ugly with the admittedly improved models having textures that look like they’re plastic toys ready to be sold in some Walmart or Target. The pre rendered cutscenes might be revolutionary at the time but are horribly dated by today’s standards and the in game cutscenes that start at the beginning of boss fights and levels look extremely jittery and stiff with characters’ arms flailing to move into position, Omega’s eyes constantly bugging out, and the camera repeatedly having a stroke. Some assets feel like they are copy/pasted and slapped onto characters that don’t make sense. Omega and Big share the same aura color along with Espio and Sonic sharing the same aura color, purple and blue respectively. Omega’s triple glide animation looks exactly like Knuckles’ even though he could’ve been animated to use his thrusters. Rouge has a weird outfit change that is never used again. Some might think that it could be for censorship reasons but her chest is still exposed through a cleavage slit in the outfit which makes me wonder why they even bothered to change it. Plus her pink eyeshadow is less aesthetically pleasing than her iconic bright blue. It’s unclear if all the teams are doing everything at the same exact time or not making things really confusing.The way the characters are written are all over the place with a mixed bag across the board. Team Dark’s great as characters but then you have Tails who’s portrayed to act like some scaredy baby and Amy who’s been turned into a hyper thirsty yandere that’s willing to beat Sonic into marrying her. But all of that is nothing compared to how dirty they did Shadow.
Every team has their own mini story that drives their plot forwards; Team Sonic has to find and defeat Eggman, Team Rose is looking for their lost friends, Team Chaotix is tryna get the bread, and Omega, specifically Omega, is out to look for Eggman for revenge for locking him in a vault. Shadow though…ok first off, why is he here? He literally sacrificed himself to save the planet Earth from the space colony Ark with characters honoring said sacrifice and mourning his death, Sonic included…But then they decided to bring him back along with amnesia and a clone side story that makes him question who he is. The clone story is the dumbest shit in this entire damn game. As if it wasn’t enough to make him forget all the events of Sonic Adventure 2, which can kinda make sense if he was sent into a coma after crashing on Earth. But now he has to go through some midlife crisis level shit to try and figure out his past and if he’s even real, which spoiler alert: this game doesn’t resolve either plot point. These points were further developed and resolved by the next game; Shadow the Hedgehog which wasn’t the best game by all means but it gave more of a fuck to have a concrete story than Heroes ever did. And what’s worse is if the clones were gonna be brought up again in Shadow the Hedgehog and then be resolved in that same game then what the fuck was the point of doing any of this shit in Heroes!? All that did was leave Shadow’s story on a cliffhanger that accomplished nothing but made fans confused and left them with unanswered questions for 2 years until Shadow the Hedgehog came out.
But finally, after collecting all 7 Chaos Emeralds and beating all 4 Team campaigns you’re rewarded with the Last Story which reveals that Metal Sonic was the real mastermind behind everything that happened in the game so he can copy everyone’s data and assume a powerful new form…that takes way too long to transform into…with Metal Overlord…just to beat Sonic. Not even world domination, just to beat Sonic. While his dedication is admirable it’s a really shallow goal. Plus the buildup towards him being the main big bad isn’t handled as well as it could’ve been. All we get are a background element that people would miss if they’re too focused on just beating the level, an extra animation at the end of a boss cutscene that only appears for Team Sonic and Shadow’s story, and a few lines of dialogue from Team Chaotix’s “client” that makes it clear that it’s Eggman. But it would’ve been better to actually know how all of this happened in the first place. Metal Sonic shows up as Neo Metal Sonic as the first time we see him in this game with no explanation as to how he got this form or how he found out he can copy others’ abilities. Not even a cutscene or backstory from Eggman in the final story, instead he just complains about how they can’t defeat him without the Chaos Emeralds. Without prior knowledge I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that Metal Sonic just got a redesign since he hadn't made an appearance in the Adventure era at that time. How cool would it have been to have been given cutscenes showing us Metal Sonic twisting and contorting his body to not only show how he managed to do this in the first place but how far he’s willing to go to beat Sonic without spoiling the final form to leave the audience in suspense before the final act? And him not revealing that he copied Team Rose and Team Chaotix data kinda comes off as him not recognizing their strengths and calling them too weak to copy from, even if he didn’t say so himself. The segment where the teams do their best to weaken Metal Madness for Team Sonic is fine enough except the coding monkeys did it again and made it so that Flying characters can’t do any damage. But then there’s the final battle with Super Team Sonic…Team Super Sonic…uh…a Chaos Emerald powered Team Sonic. Admittedly the fight is really cool with Metal Overlord chucking entire battleships at the player and talking about how he believes he’s the real Sonic as What I’m Made Of blasts in the background. But there’s 2 major things that bring this fight down for me. Sonic Adventure 2 did a similar sequence of the cast of characters help Sonic and Shadow go super and defeat the big bad. Only difference being the buildup was more elaborate and the stakes were higher as if they failed the entire planet was at stake along with the presentation of the final fight being better in every way. One fight takes place in outer space while the other takes place in the sky a vague height above the ground. And most insulting of all they robbed us of bringing back Super Knuckles and Super Tails. This might’ve been because of the retcon of super forms only being possible with male hedgehogs but that was a massive missed opportunity. And after the fight is done Sonic drops one of the corniest one liners in the franchise, the 5th set of unskippable credits scrolls on screen, and the game tells you to do everything again but get to A ranks this time as one final fuck you.
In conclusion the game had a lot of…interesting ideas to say the least in terms of mixing up the Sonic formula. Unfortunately they used too much gas when trying to cook and sent the entire dish ablaze. I think if they let this game simmer a bit more and took at least a year to iron out all the bugs and mishaps since this game was developed in 20 months. As a comparison Sonic Adventure 2 took 18 months to develop and was still better. And while I've made comparisons to past Sonic games I wanna make it clear that I am aware of the flaws those other games have. After all, nothing is perfect. But Sonic Team at least could’ve made sure that their game was worth it in spite of these flaws by tweaking some game mechanics to make them more fun. And feel free to say why you’d think this game is peak Sonic. Alright that’s all, thanks for reading this far and have a fantastic day.

This woman bullied me (along with her clique) at college and I even developed some issues because of it. She always made me feel like I was crazy because I had boundaries, even if I never directed insults at her. Now she posts Bible quotes on Instagram, pictures of her at church (with a picture of a hangout after it) and pope videos. Why are people like this? I am not even religious and I think this is so crazy and funny... I wish I could understand...