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2008.01.25 07:55 travel
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2014.07.11 18:55 ValorCat Teens with Diabetes
/teendiabetes - a place for all types of teenage diabetics to meet and discuss everything related to diabetes in one place
2013.09.10 16:28 Cuervoso Their last resort
Hi! /Ozark is now private. Find out why we have gone dark: https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/5/23749188/reddit-subreddit-private-protest-api-changes-apollo-charges We thank you for your interest and encourage you to contact Reddit and politely encourage them to not kill 3rd party apps and NSFW content on Reddit.
2024.05.20 05:03 Sad-Strike-4192 AITA for not blocking a guy on Facebook when I’m in a relationship
I (28F) and my boyfriend (28M) have had a rocky relationship to say the least. I have borderline personality disorder (in both CBT and DBT and on medication for almost 5 years) and an eating disorder (in outpatient treatment for nearly 3 years), so I am well aware that I am not always easy to be with and that I have done/said things that have hurt him. He is an addict, on the spectrum, and bipolar with MAYBE a year of treatment and a couple months of clean time under his belt.
In the past I’ve struggled in our relationship with the idea presented to me by friends (primarily mine), family (both his and mine), and my mental health professionals that the relationship is at best toxic and at worst abusive. He has left me a total of 5 times in the span of three years.
The first time he left was to go on a drug binge with a 19 year old coworker who he was cheating on me with in my own home. Girls have always been a problem in our relationship, but as far as I know he’s only physically cheated with one girl. Typically the issues would be talking to exs, talking to girls he never really dated but did have romantic or sexual history with, doing drugs with girls, or talking badly about me to another girl. With the long history of these issues, I’ve frequently been distant or cold towards him or did things to hide ED slip ups which he says had pushed him to the actual act of physically cheating.
He spent most of our relationship writing off my concerns about a couple girls because they were also long standing friends despite having a sexual or romantic history with them. Because of this, I (drunkenly) reached out to catch up with an old friend who I used to sleep with very casually when we were both single. I only spoke to him for one night and then never again because I knew my boyfriend would be mad and hurt. He found out and broke up with me.
We have since gotten back together, and my friends and family are sort of coming around- almost against their will. In an effort to be honest I told him that while we were broken up a guy friend of over 10 years asked me out (which I declined, and he was ok with).
Fast forward to a couple months later, I didn’t block that guy, and I shared something stupid on Facebook which that guy friend commented on. My boyfriend flipped out.
I asked him to bring up concerns in a more constructive and communicative way, but we spent two days being (as he put it) “not ok”. I had plans with my family that weekend and spent the whole time trying to hold it together while feeling sick and hurt and confused because of how the text/call exchanges ended up. He told me that having that guy trying to flirt with me online “looks shady” and that I always brush off his concerns. I kept asking what I did wrong and he’d tell me nothing. By the end of the weekend I left my family’s house early and had a panic attack on the phone while he yelled at me.
I pointed out that he still has girls that have been a concern for me on Facebook and currently works with someone that he says flirts with him on the clock but I’m trying to rebuild trust and communicate with I’m uncomfortable without blowing up. He said I was deflecting and invalidating his feelings.
I’m so confused how I ended up being the one begging for forgiveness, blocking and deleting people on social media, and asking him to point blank lay out how he would like me to act in the future.
This is the first time since getting back together that I see his old mask slipping back. I had to beg him to speak to me like a human being. I had to ask him to have empathy for me- in those words. I don’t feel like I can talk to my friends and family about this without them immediately hating him again. Now I have everyone blocked that I think he could possibly have a problem with, and he seems to have calmed down.
I guess what I’m wondering at this point is… AITA for not immediately blocking that guy, and am I being manipulative and invalidating?
submitted by Sad-Strike-4192 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
In the past I’ve struggled in our relationship with the idea presented to me by friends (primarily mine), family (both his and mine), and my mental health professionals that the relationship is at best toxic and at worst abusive. He has left me a total of 5 times in the span of three years.
The first time he left was to go on a drug binge with a 19 year old coworker who he was cheating on me with in my own home. Girls have always been a problem in our relationship, but as far as I know he’s only physically cheated with one girl. Typically the issues would be talking to exs, talking to girls he never really dated but did have romantic or sexual history with, doing drugs with girls, or talking badly about me to another girl. With the long history of these issues, I’ve frequently been distant or cold towards him or did things to hide ED slip ups which he says had pushed him to the actual act of physically cheating.
He spent most of our relationship writing off my concerns about a couple girls because they were also long standing friends despite having a sexual or romantic history with them. Because of this, I (drunkenly) reached out to catch up with an old friend who I used to sleep with very casually when we were both single. I only spoke to him for one night and then never again because I knew my boyfriend would be mad and hurt. He found out and broke up with me.
We have since gotten back together, and my friends and family are sort of coming around- almost against their will. In an effort to be honest I told him that while we were broken up a guy friend of over 10 years asked me out (which I declined, and he was ok with).
Fast forward to a couple months later, I didn’t block that guy, and I shared something stupid on Facebook which that guy friend commented on. My boyfriend flipped out.
I asked him to bring up concerns in a more constructive and communicative way, but we spent two days being (as he put it) “not ok”. I had plans with my family that weekend and spent the whole time trying to hold it together while feeling sick and hurt and confused because of how the text/call exchanges ended up. He told me that having that guy trying to flirt with me online “looks shady” and that I always brush off his concerns. I kept asking what I did wrong and he’d tell me nothing. By the end of the weekend I left my family’s house early and had a panic attack on the phone while he yelled at me.
I pointed out that he still has girls that have been a concern for me on Facebook and currently works with someone that he says flirts with him on the clock but I’m trying to rebuild trust and communicate with I’m uncomfortable without blowing up. He said I was deflecting and invalidating his feelings.
I’m so confused how I ended up being the one begging for forgiveness, blocking and deleting people on social media, and asking him to point blank lay out how he would like me to act in the future.
This is the first time since getting back together that I see his old mask slipping back. I had to beg him to speak to me like a human being. I had to ask him to have empathy for me- in those words. I don’t feel like I can talk to my friends and family about this without them immediately hating him again. Now I have everyone blocked that I think he could possibly have a problem with, and he seems to have calmed down.
I guess what I’m wondering at this point is… AITA for not immediately blocking that guy, and am I being manipulative and invalidating?
2024.05.20 05:01 RcvryJourney_22 Day 13
I would say that overall, today was pretty tough.
I saw in that movie called trainspotting a little excerpt about how when recovering from an addiction something that is unspoken is that feeling of depression. Like nothing really excites you, you don't really look forward to much, nothing.
I find this to really ring true, especially today for some reason. But for me its mainly the OCD stuff. day after day im living with a sense of fear, without any possibility for the "answer" that my brain is seeking. So its this constant sense of uncertainty without really any relief. Back when I would "use" so to speak, in my waking existence of this reality there was always a great escape. I would just plunge into indulgence and dopamine would flood my brain and for those hours I felt as if I didn't really exist, like I was someplace else.
So it makes sense as to why I'd feel depressed. My "answer" to the ghost of fear that follows me around is taken away. And with the days passing on and the novelty of recovery gone, you're simply faced with the uncertainty of life.
While this may seem sad, I feel that in tandem with what I said now is a good time to take a deep dive into the depth of my addiction at its worse, and why I would feel as If something essential to me is missing. After all, its what my brain was taught.
To start off, when I see accounts of other pornography type addictions, most of the time, these are trivial to me. It's almost notable how far my addiction went, until it isn't. because the people on the communities I would use in would be just as frequent as me, with their hours just as long. Showing that this is a silent epidemic that is exclusively a consequence of the 21st century. For now its clinically called "cybersex addiction". But in my opinion their needs to be a term created that sounds more medicinal. Cybersex sounds a little corny and a tad sci-fi, and with my recount and the habits of others in the community, I'm sure in 20 years or so it will be observed as something a bit more serious and given a name to fit it. But for now with its current term its a tad difficult to take it seriously. If I was to tell someone I suffered for years from a cybersex addiction they'd probably find it a bit humorous. But I digress.
I would say that it started when I was about 15 years old, give or take. I had always liked porn. Loved porn even. I remember when I discovered it at 12 years old, and how good it made me feel. I watched it close to every night and would masturbate. But the feelings that I specifically liked were the videos that displayed power, and control. Absolutely nothing romantic. Stealing someone's girlfriend, making someone's spouse pleasure you for a favor, making a stepsibling "do as their told". Those kinda things. Specifically cheating. There was something so arousing to me about making someone elses significant other have sex with you. The power trip felt to primal and dirty. This was at 12-13 years old.
However, despite my habit, I feel as if I was still normal. I subconsciously suspended a sense of disbelief. The prospect of just having a girlfriend and having sex still very much excited me. My member still worked perfectly fine. And when I would watch porn I would just rub one out and be done with it. 15 minutes tops, typically more around 5. And then id move on with my day.
I remember when I first discovered a sex chat room. I believe I was 14 years old. At that time i had it on a family computer, so I couldn't take it very far. But i remember how excited I felt, that jumping in my chest when matched up with someone I would talk about sex with. But i wouldnt be able to touch myself, as I was in the living room.
It was at the back end of that year when I'd get on the site again. At this point I had purchased a smart phone and could use it in privacy. I will never forget that night in which I was hooked. I was on the couch, as I used to sleep there in a living room. This was different from the different aforementioned living room, as I had a lot of places growing up. I never had much of a home, and it was pretty troubled. But thats a topic for another day.
I matched up with someone on that same site. They were, or most likely roleplaying, as someone's wife. Sneaking around. I remember when I discovered that in the conversation my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest. I remember moving the conversation towards soemething sexual, and "she" naturally played her part and went along. I remember getting demanding, giving orders. "she" acted reluctant but "caved". I remember getting a euphoric sexual high. 14 years old, I was hooked.
It ebbed and flowed over the years, and came and went. But when it got really bad is after the onset of my adulthood OCD, at around 17
(People with OCD have it fully set in at some point during early adulthood, with episodes throughout childhood)
When my mental illness struggles started I felt as though my life was a waking nightmare. I just did not understand nonresponse at the time, and it felt as though my reality caved and inverted. I could not have a moment without rumination and did not understand there was nothing to solve. I just didn't understand. so I was merely a zombie, like some kind of ghoul. I was pretending to be alive. Floating moment to moment, phoning it in. My family didnt understand why I was so distant. Why i had no aspirations or anything. It made my father so angry he would beat me. The beating and what not got so bad that at 18 I split home. I was in and out after that.
Some time passed and I bummed around but I got to a point where I lived by myself and had roommates.
Throughout this era there was one constant. The internet pornography use. The "cybersex". at the end of every fruitless day I would get on, and it would be hours. I had multiple accounts, on multiple forums. Many fetish based. I would get desperate sometimes and would get spammy, clawing for a good partner that matched my interests, and would often get banned. So many times I would have accounts i would switch back in forth from to avoid getting banned. I was a full blown addict.
Snap forwards a couple years, where my addiction and mental illness had fully taken over. I had no job, I would never be able to hold one down. I was hemorrhaging money, my savings from my teenage hood. I would Doordash and do gig work on occasion but would give up if my OCD got too loud. Or if I had plans but started using f*ck those plans.
I would wake up at 11 or so. maybe noon, maybe 1. id get up and use the restroom, throw my clothes on the floor. My room was completely rotted away. I would go downstairs and chat with my roommates. maybe go grab lunch or something. then I'd get home and start using. typically, by 3 o clock. It would be hours, masturbating, binge watching porn, being on the forums. Finding partners that matched me and saying things that were unspeakibly nasty to get a good rush. Hours and hours would pass by and I would prevent ejaculation. i did not want the escape to end, but eventually it would. I would excrete all over myself and by matress with no bedding (I would not put my sheets on my bed, as i just simply did not care). I would not clean up much, would mostly just let it dry. After that I would watch some youtube. I would not get out of my bed, or shower, or anything like that. These things did not not concern me. At around 10 or so I would start up again. Using and using and using and using. typically till about 4 in the morning. Then id c*m, and Id go downstairs to stuff my face with whatever I had in the fridge. Then Id go back into my room, and with the rush of my vice gone and the fear from OCD quelled by it, Id feel unspeakably sad. Unspeakably empty. then id go to sleep.
Sometimes it was from the moment I woke up. I'd wake up, stare at my ceiling, my anxiety would settle in, and I'd start using. I'd use till 2 and then take a nap. Then id use till 4. Then I'd use till 8. Then id use till 2 am.
I remember my member would be red and blistered, sensitive to the touch, and unable to get an erection. But id keep using. Id go again and again, rubbing it while it was limp. My room stunk like hell and I was gaining weight. My hair was greasy and i was running out of money. I was literally just fading away.
Heres my great ability though. My friends just thought I was a tad unhygienic and lazy. They didn't suspect a thing. Because no matter what, I'm always a showman. I can always say something to crack up the group or become an inside joke. I was literally a dead man walking yet people considered me funny and capable. But the curtain got pulled on that eventually.
Well, more on that some other day. This recount served its purpose for me in putting in my perspective on what I am not anymore. And no matter how hard it gets, making sure I never go back again.
Fucking hell man. Why's this shit gotta be so hard.
See yall tomorrow.
submitted by RcvryJourney_22 to u/RcvryJourney_22 [link] [comments]
I saw in that movie called trainspotting a little excerpt about how when recovering from an addiction something that is unspoken is that feeling of depression. Like nothing really excites you, you don't really look forward to much, nothing.
I find this to really ring true, especially today for some reason. But for me its mainly the OCD stuff. day after day im living with a sense of fear, without any possibility for the "answer" that my brain is seeking. So its this constant sense of uncertainty without really any relief. Back when I would "use" so to speak, in my waking existence of this reality there was always a great escape. I would just plunge into indulgence and dopamine would flood my brain and for those hours I felt as if I didn't really exist, like I was someplace else.
So it makes sense as to why I'd feel depressed. My "answer" to the ghost of fear that follows me around is taken away. And with the days passing on and the novelty of recovery gone, you're simply faced with the uncertainty of life.
While this may seem sad, I feel that in tandem with what I said now is a good time to take a deep dive into the depth of my addiction at its worse, and why I would feel as If something essential to me is missing. After all, its what my brain was taught.
To start off, when I see accounts of other pornography type addictions, most of the time, these are trivial to me. It's almost notable how far my addiction went, until it isn't. because the people on the communities I would use in would be just as frequent as me, with their hours just as long. Showing that this is a silent epidemic that is exclusively a consequence of the 21st century. For now its clinically called "cybersex addiction". But in my opinion their needs to be a term created that sounds more medicinal. Cybersex sounds a little corny and a tad sci-fi, and with my recount and the habits of others in the community, I'm sure in 20 years or so it will be observed as something a bit more serious and given a name to fit it. But for now with its current term its a tad difficult to take it seriously. If I was to tell someone I suffered for years from a cybersex addiction they'd probably find it a bit humorous. But I digress.
I would say that it started when I was about 15 years old, give or take. I had always liked porn. Loved porn even. I remember when I discovered it at 12 years old, and how good it made me feel. I watched it close to every night and would masturbate. But the feelings that I specifically liked were the videos that displayed power, and control. Absolutely nothing romantic. Stealing someone's girlfriend, making someone's spouse pleasure you for a favor, making a stepsibling "do as their told". Those kinda things. Specifically cheating. There was something so arousing to me about making someone elses significant other have sex with you. The power trip felt to primal and dirty. This was at 12-13 years old.
However, despite my habit, I feel as if I was still normal. I subconsciously suspended a sense of disbelief. The prospect of just having a girlfriend and having sex still very much excited me. My member still worked perfectly fine. And when I would watch porn I would just rub one out and be done with it. 15 minutes tops, typically more around 5. And then id move on with my day.
I remember when I first discovered a sex chat room. I believe I was 14 years old. At that time i had it on a family computer, so I couldn't take it very far. But i remember how excited I felt, that jumping in my chest when matched up with someone I would talk about sex with. But i wouldnt be able to touch myself, as I was in the living room.
It was at the back end of that year when I'd get on the site again. At this point I had purchased a smart phone and could use it in privacy. I will never forget that night in which I was hooked. I was on the couch, as I used to sleep there in a living room. This was different from the different aforementioned living room, as I had a lot of places growing up. I never had much of a home, and it was pretty troubled. But thats a topic for another day.
I matched up with someone on that same site. They were, or most likely roleplaying, as someone's wife. Sneaking around. I remember when I discovered that in the conversation my heart felt like it jumped out of my chest. I remember moving the conversation towards soemething sexual, and "she" naturally played her part and went along. I remember getting demanding, giving orders. "she" acted reluctant but "caved". I remember getting a euphoric sexual high. 14 years old, I was hooked.
It ebbed and flowed over the years, and came and went. But when it got really bad is after the onset of my adulthood OCD, at around 17
(People with OCD have it fully set in at some point during early adulthood, with episodes throughout childhood)
When my mental illness struggles started I felt as though my life was a waking nightmare. I just did not understand nonresponse at the time, and it felt as though my reality caved and inverted. I could not have a moment without rumination and did not understand there was nothing to solve. I just didn't understand. so I was merely a zombie, like some kind of ghoul. I was pretending to be alive. Floating moment to moment, phoning it in. My family didnt understand why I was so distant. Why i had no aspirations or anything. It made my father so angry he would beat me. The beating and what not got so bad that at 18 I split home. I was in and out after that.
Some time passed and I bummed around but I got to a point where I lived by myself and had roommates.
Throughout this era there was one constant. The internet pornography use. The "cybersex". at the end of every fruitless day I would get on, and it would be hours. I had multiple accounts, on multiple forums. Many fetish based. I would get desperate sometimes and would get spammy, clawing for a good partner that matched my interests, and would often get banned. So many times I would have accounts i would switch back in forth from to avoid getting banned. I was a full blown addict.
Snap forwards a couple years, where my addiction and mental illness had fully taken over. I had no job, I would never be able to hold one down. I was hemorrhaging money, my savings from my teenage hood. I would Doordash and do gig work on occasion but would give up if my OCD got too loud. Or if I had plans but started using f*ck those plans.
I would wake up at 11 or so. maybe noon, maybe 1. id get up and use the restroom, throw my clothes on the floor. My room was completely rotted away. I would go downstairs and chat with my roommates. maybe go grab lunch or something. then I'd get home and start using. typically, by 3 o clock. It would be hours, masturbating, binge watching porn, being on the forums. Finding partners that matched me and saying things that were unspeakibly nasty to get a good rush. Hours and hours would pass by and I would prevent ejaculation. i did not want the escape to end, but eventually it would. I would excrete all over myself and by matress with no bedding (I would not put my sheets on my bed, as i just simply did not care). I would not clean up much, would mostly just let it dry. After that I would watch some youtube. I would not get out of my bed, or shower, or anything like that. These things did not not concern me. At around 10 or so I would start up again. Using and using and using and using. typically till about 4 in the morning. Then id c*m, and Id go downstairs to stuff my face with whatever I had in the fridge. Then Id go back into my room, and with the rush of my vice gone and the fear from OCD quelled by it, Id feel unspeakably sad. Unspeakably empty. then id go to sleep.
Sometimes it was from the moment I woke up. I'd wake up, stare at my ceiling, my anxiety would settle in, and I'd start using. I'd use till 2 and then take a nap. Then id use till 4. Then I'd use till 8. Then id use till 2 am.
I remember my member would be red and blistered, sensitive to the touch, and unable to get an erection. But id keep using. Id go again and again, rubbing it while it was limp. My room stunk like hell and I was gaining weight. My hair was greasy and i was running out of money. I was literally just fading away.
Heres my great ability though. My friends just thought I was a tad unhygienic and lazy. They didn't suspect a thing. Because no matter what, I'm always a showman. I can always say something to crack up the group or become an inside joke. I was literally a dead man walking yet people considered me funny and capable. But the curtain got pulled on that eventually.
Well, more on that some other day. This recount served its purpose for me in putting in my perspective on what I am not anymore. And no matter how hard it gets, making sure I never go back again.
Fucking hell man. Why's this shit gotta be so hard.
See yall tomorrow.
2024.05.20 05:01 dehjosh Quest 2 128 GB for $100
I am looking for my first VR headset. I will mostly be using it for Immersed app so I can work on a larger screen for work. Also VR chat since I have a few friends there. There are also a few games I was always interested in but never got around to them. Please don't touch anything, Keep talking and no body explodes. Also saw a few other game out there that seem fun too.
I am on FB marketplace and I think I can easily get a Quest 2 for about $100 at the 128 GB limit. Is that worth it? Or wait till 3s comes out if ever. Or any other recommendations?
submitted by dehjosh to OculusQuest [link] [comments]
I am on FB marketplace and I think I can easily get a Quest 2 for about $100 at the 128 GB limit. Is that worth it? Or wait till 3s comes out if ever. Or any other recommendations?
2024.05.20 05:00 bizhop3 I was searching for my old comic books collection and came across these hiding in some boxes when I used to sell games, comics, and gundam kits. These are from mid 2000’s still sealed. NFS/NFT
 | GameCube, Xbox and PS2 submitted by bizhop3 to gamecollecting [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 05:00 ConflictAlternative5 AITAH if I get ghosted by several friends in a few months of each other?
Hey Everyone,
Recently, I (female, 30s) was ghosted by more than one friend. I feel like logically, I know I didn't deserve it but there is still this nagging feeling that I did. So I guess I'm just looking for outside opinions even if they are negative towards me.
To explain some of the situation, the first friend (Ghost #1) to ghost me was a female friend whom I was trying to have a heart to heart with. She was responding badly to what I was trying to talk about, so it wasn't a huge surprise when she ghosted. To summarize, basically I had introduced this friend to all of my other friends. Then surprise! They really liked her.
So she (Ghost #1) started getting invites to outings (by people I introduced her to) that even I wasn't getting. I tried telling her how this made me feel, that it made me feel used, left out, and that my friends (including her) didn't actually like me. I tried asking for her to include me more when these situations happened. So if she was invited out by people I introduced her to and she saw I wasn't included, for her to just include me and invite me. She didn't accept my feelings about the situation at all and she kept arguing, essentially telling me that my feelings were wrong. She also took it very badly, and said that I was being controlling and that I was accusing her of things. She also said that I should be taking up my issues with the people who weren't inviting me. She also didn't agree with me because according to her, I was only not getting invited because I could not go anyway (I work a lot of weekends and I don't have a car). For the record, there were some weekends where I could have joined but the only reason I didn't was because they didn't even try to invite me. I said back to her that it was invite that counted and that even if I could not go, the invite would make all the difference. But she just didn't agree or seem to want to understand.
I tried my best to understand her (Ghost #1) perspective, but because she wasn't trying to understand mine, it was really hard. But I did get what she meant about the accusations and the controlling aspect. I told her that I did not want to be that way but I was just hoping for some care and understanding. I also tried to get her to understand that I was only asking her to do what I had done for her. I just wanted her to include me the way that I had always included her. The only reason she met all of my friends was because I had always included her. Anyway, we were just not understanding each other and instead of continuing to try to talk it out, one day she just stopped responding entirely. I wasn't that surprised because it was obvious we had deep incompatibilities and she didn't seem to care much about my feelings. I was only surprised by the immaturity of her not being able to say something like "I need some time to think, so I need a break from responding" etc. But how she handled the rest of the conversation wasn't great either so that's why it wasn't that big of a surprise. She and I had been friends for 2 years.
Then something so horrible happened, I still can't even believe it and can barely type it out. My younger brother was killed by a truck over the winter holidays.
I had to tell all of my friends about this because they had to know why I wouldn't be responding for awhile. So I told everyone, except for Ghost #1 because at this point she had already stopped responding.
After telling people what happened to my brother, I didn't respond to any friends for about a month. After some time, I was able to start talking to people again. This was when I also realized that Ghost #1 had actually ghosted me. I didn't realise it before because I wasn't thinking about it. But after realising Ghost #1 had ghosted me, I was left with a difficult decision, should I tell people or not?
I decided to start telling people that Ghost #1 had ghosted me. The reason I chose to tell people was because as I said earlier, I had introduced her to all of my friends and she was apparently still socialising with them but not me. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision to tell others because I knew it would be involving them in drama they didn't ask for. But at the same time, when I introduced Ghost #1 to my other friends I was essentially "endorsing" her as a good friend but after her ghosting me I could no longer "endorse" her. Also, if my other friends didn't know that she had ghosted me they might inadvertently invite her or tell her things about me etc. Then the final reason was that if a friend had introduced me to a friend of theirs, I would want to know if they're a ghoster.
Anyway, so I told the other friends. The other friends didn't seem to believe it and the reactions were mixed but it seemed like they understood me and why I told them. At least they didn't seem to think badly of me.
But then surprise! Shortly after telling others that Ghost #1 had ghosted me, she got back in touch with me. Basically, she (Ghost #1) didn't apologize at all for taking long to respond to me (2 months) and she just provided condolences about my brother and said that she was there for me if I needed to talk about him. At first when I got this message, I thought it was kind of her. But then I thought about it more and realized it was a very self-serving message. She was essentially saying that she would not take any responsibility for how she hurt me. I felt that she was just using my brother's death as a way to make herself look better and get rid of her own guilt. Since she had ghosted me for 2 months, she knew I wouldn't reach out to her for support regarding my brother. So it was a very empty offer. It also put me in yet another shit position because now I had to figure out how to handle her new response. I thought about trying to hold her accountable again for the cruelty in her lack of actions but I was so tired of it. I decided to just send her a single emoji as a response (hands shaped in heart emoji). Another hard decision was figuring out if now I should tell people that she didn't technically ghost me?
I decided not to tell people that she had eventually responded. The reason I chose not to was because like i said I was really tired of dealing with her and talking about her. I had so much weight on my shoulders already and I am grieving my brother. I decided that if someone asked me directly if she had ever gotten back to me, I would tell them that yes she had. I would tell them that even though she did eventually get back to me, she did not apologize for her own actions and the message she sent was self-serving. And that even though she did not technically ghost me, she did spiritually because she only did the barest minimum so that she would not look bad. That is why I still consider her as having ghosted me and she is still Ghost #1. But no one ever asked me about her again.
Anyway, so then not long after that I was talking to one of the friends that I had introduced to Ghost #1. We were talking about doing a boxing class and it was difficult to organise because she and I had different schedules. Eventually we decided on a day, and I was getting ready to meet her for the class and she texted me to say she was stuck at work and couldn't come. She used a lot of crying emojis and apologized a lot. It seemed like she was genuine about the situation. I texted her back to tell her not to worry about it and that I was nervous to go to the class anyway. Then I asked her if she would maybe like to just go to a regular gym and use the machines. I told her that this might be better because then we wouldn't be confined to a specific day/time. And then I haven't heard from her since then (3+ months). So she became Ghost #2.
For extra context Ghost #2 seemed to really like Ghost #1. Ghost #2 was actually one of the friends who was inviting Ghost #1 out when I wasn't included. However, when I talked to Ghost #2 how it was leaving me feeling excluded and uncomfortable, she responded really well and it seemed like she really understood. Ghost #2 even put my feelings into words I had not even thought of. She told me that she hadn't invited me because she thought I could not come for various reasons. And then she said that she now understands she should have left the decision with me instead. I felt like she really understood me. Ghost #2 seemed like such a kind and genuine person. So when Ghost #2 ghosted me it really surprised me. I had been friends with her for over a year.
I know that there is a strong possibility that Ghost #2 ghosted me because of something to do with Ghost #1. But I will never know for sure. If it had been just Ghost #1 then I could've brushed it off and said it was just her but adding Ghost #2 to the mix has really damaged me. I'm thinking that maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was being "too much" for them. Or asking for too much. Or I just wasn't valuable. Or that I did something wrong by not telling everyone that Ghost #1 did not technically ghost me. As if I was spreading drama or bad mouthing or controlling or manipulating etc. Or that I did anything to deserve it. I don't know.
So this wasn't the end of my ghostings. Eventually another friend who wasn't super connected to Ghost #1 or Ghost #2, started to take longer and longer to respond to my messages. So she became Ghost #3. Now it's been over a month since I've heard from Ghost #3. Ghost #3 did not super ghost me, because my last message to Ghost #3 didn't have any specific questions in it. But Ghost #3 indicated that they were really interested in hearing about a trip I was going on. But now the trip has passed by many weeks. And Ghost #3 never got back in touch with me, even though I was the last to send a message. Ghost #3 may still get in touch with me but she has never taken this long to respond before.
So finally, I had yet another ghosting by yet another female friend, Ghost #4. So Ghost #4 wasn't a close friend of mine. I met Ghost #4 through Ghost #3, they were once roommates. As far as I know, Ghost #4 and Ghost #3 are still good friends because the last I heard they also work together. Ghost #4 reached out to me to find out how I was doing because she knew about my brother. I responded back to her and tried to keep the focus on her. I asked her about her job and etc. And then I never heard from her and it's been over a couple months. What upsets me about this, is that no one asked Ghost #4 to reach out to me. I didn't. She could've just never messaged me. But she did and at first I thought that was nice of her but then she ghosted me. And it's just so senseless, that she put me through a ghosting when she didn't even have to message me.
So those are the ghostings. Most days I can rationalise it, that these friendships had already run their course and the extra stress was enough to break the friendships. I also think that ghosting has nothing to do with how kind someone is but how brave they are. And you never know someone's level of bravery until something bad happens. So I didnt know I was friends with so many cowards.
And for extra context we're not young and we're all women.
The major lesson I learned is that you shouldn't introduce friends too early because then it complicates the dynamics. That was what really kickstarted my problems with Ghost #1. I shouldn't have introduced her to all my friends and should have been more careful. But I'm struggling to learn anything from all the ghostings. Because it was so many of them. I still have that feeling that I deserved it. Because how could 4 friends ghost me within a few months of each other, if I didn't deserve it?
Anyway, I guess I'm taking it to jury of the internet to see what everyone thinks.
AITAH?
submitted by ConflictAlternative5 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Recently, I (female, 30s) was ghosted by more than one friend. I feel like logically, I know I didn't deserve it but there is still this nagging feeling that I did. So I guess I'm just looking for outside opinions even if they are negative towards me.
To explain some of the situation, the first friend (Ghost #1) to ghost me was a female friend whom I was trying to have a heart to heart with. She was responding badly to what I was trying to talk about, so it wasn't a huge surprise when she ghosted. To summarize, basically I had introduced this friend to all of my other friends. Then surprise! They really liked her.
So she (Ghost #1) started getting invites to outings (by people I introduced her to) that even I wasn't getting. I tried telling her how this made me feel, that it made me feel used, left out, and that my friends (including her) didn't actually like me. I tried asking for her to include me more when these situations happened. So if she was invited out by people I introduced her to and she saw I wasn't included, for her to just include me and invite me. She didn't accept my feelings about the situation at all and she kept arguing, essentially telling me that my feelings were wrong. She also took it very badly, and said that I was being controlling and that I was accusing her of things. She also said that I should be taking up my issues with the people who weren't inviting me. She also didn't agree with me because according to her, I was only not getting invited because I could not go anyway (I work a lot of weekends and I don't have a car). For the record, there were some weekends where I could have joined but the only reason I didn't was because they didn't even try to invite me. I said back to her that it was invite that counted and that even if I could not go, the invite would make all the difference. But she just didn't agree or seem to want to understand.
I tried my best to understand her (Ghost #1) perspective, but because she wasn't trying to understand mine, it was really hard. But I did get what she meant about the accusations and the controlling aspect. I told her that I did not want to be that way but I was just hoping for some care and understanding. I also tried to get her to understand that I was only asking her to do what I had done for her. I just wanted her to include me the way that I had always included her. The only reason she met all of my friends was because I had always included her. Anyway, we were just not understanding each other and instead of continuing to try to talk it out, one day she just stopped responding entirely. I wasn't that surprised because it was obvious we had deep incompatibilities and she didn't seem to care much about my feelings. I was only surprised by the immaturity of her not being able to say something like "I need some time to think, so I need a break from responding" etc. But how she handled the rest of the conversation wasn't great either so that's why it wasn't that big of a surprise. She and I had been friends for 2 years.
Then something so horrible happened, I still can't even believe it and can barely type it out. My younger brother was killed by a truck over the winter holidays.
I had to tell all of my friends about this because they had to know why I wouldn't be responding for awhile. So I told everyone, except for Ghost #1 because at this point she had already stopped responding.
After telling people what happened to my brother, I didn't respond to any friends for about a month. After some time, I was able to start talking to people again. This was when I also realized that Ghost #1 had actually ghosted me. I didn't realise it before because I wasn't thinking about it. But after realising Ghost #1 had ghosted me, I was left with a difficult decision, should I tell people or not?
I decided to start telling people that Ghost #1 had ghosted me. The reason I chose to tell people was because as I said earlier, I had introduced her to all of my friends and she was apparently still socialising with them but not me. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision to tell others because I knew it would be involving them in drama they didn't ask for. But at the same time, when I introduced Ghost #1 to my other friends I was essentially "endorsing" her as a good friend but after her ghosting me I could no longer "endorse" her. Also, if my other friends didn't know that she had ghosted me they might inadvertently invite her or tell her things about me etc. Then the final reason was that if a friend had introduced me to a friend of theirs, I would want to know if they're a ghoster.
Anyway, so I told the other friends. The other friends didn't seem to believe it and the reactions were mixed but it seemed like they understood me and why I told them. At least they didn't seem to think badly of me.
But then surprise! Shortly after telling others that Ghost #1 had ghosted me, she got back in touch with me. Basically, she (Ghost #1) didn't apologize at all for taking long to respond to me (2 months) and she just provided condolences about my brother and said that she was there for me if I needed to talk about him. At first when I got this message, I thought it was kind of her. But then I thought about it more and realized it was a very self-serving message. She was essentially saying that she would not take any responsibility for how she hurt me. I felt that she was just using my brother's death as a way to make herself look better and get rid of her own guilt. Since she had ghosted me for 2 months, she knew I wouldn't reach out to her for support regarding my brother. So it was a very empty offer. It also put me in yet another shit position because now I had to figure out how to handle her new response. I thought about trying to hold her accountable again for the cruelty in her lack of actions but I was so tired of it. I decided to just send her a single emoji as a response (hands shaped in heart emoji). Another hard decision was figuring out if now I should tell people that she didn't technically ghost me?
I decided not to tell people that she had eventually responded. The reason I chose not to was because like i said I was really tired of dealing with her and talking about her. I had so much weight on my shoulders already and I am grieving my brother. I decided that if someone asked me directly if she had ever gotten back to me, I would tell them that yes she had. I would tell them that even though she did eventually get back to me, she did not apologize for her own actions and the message she sent was self-serving. And that even though she did not technically ghost me, she did spiritually because she only did the barest minimum so that she would not look bad. That is why I still consider her as having ghosted me and she is still Ghost #1. But no one ever asked me about her again.
Anyway, so then not long after that I was talking to one of the friends that I had introduced to Ghost #1. We were talking about doing a boxing class and it was difficult to organise because she and I had different schedules. Eventually we decided on a day, and I was getting ready to meet her for the class and she texted me to say she was stuck at work and couldn't come. She used a lot of crying emojis and apologized a lot. It seemed like she was genuine about the situation. I texted her back to tell her not to worry about it and that I was nervous to go to the class anyway. Then I asked her if she would maybe like to just go to a regular gym and use the machines. I told her that this might be better because then we wouldn't be confined to a specific day/time. And then I haven't heard from her since then (3+ months). So she became Ghost #2.
For extra context Ghost #2 seemed to really like Ghost #1. Ghost #2 was actually one of the friends who was inviting Ghost #1 out when I wasn't included. However, when I talked to Ghost #2 how it was leaving me feeling excluded and uncomfortable, she responded really well and it seemed like she really understood. Ghost #2 even put my feelings into words I had not even thought of. She told me that she hadn't invited me because she thought I could not come for various reasons. And then she said that she now understands she should have left the decision with me instead. I felt like she really understood me. Ghost #2 seemed like such a kind and genuine person. So when Ghost #2 ghosted me it really surprised me. I had been friends with her for over a year.
I know that there is a strong possibility that Ghost #2 ghosted me because of something to do with Ghost #1. But I will never know for sure. If it had been just Ghost #1 then I could've brushed it off and said it was just her but adding Ghost #2 to the mix has really damaged me. I'm thinking that maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was being "too much" for them. Or asking for too much. Or I just wasn't valuable. Or that I did something wrong by not telling everyone that Ghost #1 did not technically ghost me. As if I was spreading drama or bad mouthing or controlling or manipulating etc. Or that I did anything to deserve it. I don't know.
So this wasn't the end of my ghostings. Eventually another friend who wasn't super connected to Ghost #1 or Ghost #2, started to take longer and longer to respond to my messages. So she became Ghost #3. Now it's been over a month since I've heard from Ghost #3. Ghost #3 did not super ghost me, because my last message to Ghost #3 didn't have any specific questions in it. But Ghost #3 indicated that they were really interested in hearing about a trip I was going on. But now the trip has passed by many weeks. And Ghost #3 never got back in touch with me, even though I was the last to send a message. Ghost #3 may still get in touch with me but she has never taken this long to respond before.
So finally, I had yet another ghosting by yet another female friend, Ghost #4. So Ghost #4 wasn't a close friend of mine. I met Ghost #4 through Ghost #3, they were once roommates. As far as I know, Ghost #4 and Ghost #3 are still good friends because the last I heard they also work together. Ghost #4 reached out to me to find out how I was doing because she knew about my brother. I responded back to her and tried to keep the focus on her. I asked her about her job and etc. And then I never heard from her and it's been over a couple months. What upsets me about this, is that no one asked Ghost #4 to reach out to me. I didn't. She could've just never messaged me. But she did and at first I thought that was nice of her but then she ghosted me. And it's just so senseless, that she put me through a ghosting when she didn't even have to message me.
So those are the ghostings. Most days I can rationalise it, that these friendships had already run their course and the extra stress was enough to break the friendships. I also think that ghosting has nothing to do with how kind someone is but how brave they are. And you never know someone's level of bravery until something bad happens. So I didnt know I was friends with so many cowards.
And for extra context we're not young and we're all women.
The major lesson I learned is that you shouldn't introduce friends too early because then it complicates the dynamics. That was what really kickstarted my problems with Ghost #1. I shouldn't have introduced her to all my friends and should have been more careful. But I'm struggling to learn anything from all the ghostings. Because it was so many of them. I still have that feeling that I deserved it. Because how could 4 friends ghost me within a few months of each other, if I didn't deserve it?
Anyway, I guess I'm taking it to jury of the internet to see what everyone thinks.
AITAH?
2024.05.20 04:59 InfiniteGuitar Apple Store 6 minute sale
American companies have been scamming us for decades, leading us to believe their products are worth waiting for sometimes for up to an hour or more for any decent customer service. Apple is guilty of this strange business model in their stores, imo, it is not good. You have all these people standing around the products and a ton of employees but somehow you need an appointment or you have to wait 5-7 people deep before someone can sell you something? Today I needed to buy an iPhone. I'm old school. I walk in, pick up the product I want and pay and walk out. Apple doesn't do it that way and I am tired of having to answer to them so today I flipped the script. I walked in, they told me they couldn't find my phone (I lost it a day ago) because the settings were not correct. Ok. My bad, the software is confusing. They almost had me waiting around for 20-30minutes for their product because it is so good. Well, it isn't. Overseas phones are better and cheaper. They are lying to you. Anyway, I'm not going to spend time trapped in their store model so I told them my expectations. I want to walk in here, pick up a phone, pay for it and leave. If I can't do it, i'll buy another phone from someone else. Not only did I have a phone (I asked for white, I got blue btw so they couldn't even get that right) in about 300 seconds, but they were even rude to me because I was not going to let them waste my time because they could. That store needs a second store with one employee and a bunch of products inside the first store. It needs innovation. It needs some smiles. When you see a customer that isn't happy, you don't become unhappy and rude, you become happy to help and assist and make that money. Ecosystem is the only thing Apple has. It is brilliant. But they are clearly ripping us off.
submitted by InfiniteGuitar to applestore [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:58 Feeling-Ad8720 No more bonus bets for me
submitted by Feeling-Ad8720 to sportsbook [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:57 CombinationTop7181 Stay in Manager Role at Large Manufacturing Corporation or Take Director Of Operations Role at Small DBE Contracting Company?
Hello, Reddit Community. Throw away account.
Looking for input/advice on a career decision. I am currently in a role I enjoy (I like the company and my supervisor a lot). As a result, I was not actively looking for a change. I was approached by a company out of the blue (I worked with folks from the company in the past) and offered a position.
My current employer is going through some minor layoffs, but I am not concerned about my position disappearing at this point in time. Regardless, since I do not know what the future has in store, the fact that there are any layoffs going on was part of the reason I entertained the solicitation. I am now struggling with the decision and looking for any input/experiences you're willing to share.
I have two children and not planning to have any more - a 2 years old and a 7 months old. I share this because part of my hesitation in changing companies right now is the stress it will cause the family and the unknown of how flexible the new position will be compared to my current role.
Current role: Manager at large manufacturing corporation (annual rev $30B). 15 direct reports. Annual compensation is $180,000.00. The position is fully remote, including 4 weeks PTO, 12 paid holidays, discounted stock options, medical, dental, vision, life insurance. The business unit I am in is currently experiencing some financial underperformance and planning minor layoffs. I was reassured my position is not going away (at least for the first round of cuts, hard to say what the future holds).
New offer: Director of Operations at small contractor (annual rev $17M, been in business for 20 years). Annual compensation is $200,000.00 with an annual bonus based on company performance (using the bonus formula: 2023 bonus would have been $2,000.00 while 2022 bonus would have been $40,000.00). It is hybrid work (work from home 2 or 3 days per week), includes 4 weeks PTO, 6 paid holidays, a gas card, and medical insurance.
I am intrigued by the opportunity to stretch myself and hopefully blossom into a director role. It is particularly interesting in a small company setting as I expect one would learn a lot about nearly all aspects of the business and have a tangible impact on the business results.
I am nervous about the unknown workload/expectations, and extremely hesitant about giving up a fully remote position, especially at a very good company, in a role I don't hate, and with a supervisor I like. Also a touch concerned about the risk of trusting a small company will survive an economic slowdown, and where I would go next if the position did not workout for any reason.
Sorry for the long post. Thank you in advance for your input.
submitted by CombinationTop7181 to ConstructionManagers [link] [comments]
Looking for input/advice on a career decision. I am currently in a role I enjoy (I like the company and my supervisor a lot). As a result, I was not actively looking for a change. I was approached by a company out of the blue (I worked with folks from the company in the past) and offered a position.
My current employer is going through some minor layoffs, but I am not concerned about my position disappearing at this point in time. Regardless, since I do not know what the future has in store, the fact that there are any layoffs going on was part of the reason I entertained the solicitation. I am now struggling with the decision and looking for any input/experiences you're willing to share.
I have two children and not planning to have any more - a 2 years old and a 7 months old. I share this because part of my hesitation in changing companies right now is the stress it will cause the family and the unknown of how flexible the new position will be compared to my current role.
Current role: Manager at large manufacturing corporation (annual rev $30B). 15 direct reports. Annual compensation is $180,000.00. The position is fully remote, including 4 weeks PTO, 12 paid holidays, discounted stock options, medical, dental, vision, life insurance. The business unit I am in is currently experiencing some financial underperformance and planning minor layoffs. I was reassured my position is not going away (at least for the first round of cuts, hard to say what the future holds).
New offer: Director of Operations at small contractor (annual rev $17M, been in business for 20 years). Annual compensation is $200,000.00 with an annual bonus based on company performance (using the bonus formula: 2023 bonus would have been $2,000.00 while 2022 bonus would have been $40,000.00). It is hybrid work (work from home 2 or 3 days per week), includes 4 weeks PTO, 6 paid holidays, a gas card, and medical insurance.
I am intrigued by the opportunity to stretch myself and hopefully blossom into a director role. It is particularly interesting in a small company setting as I expect one would learn a lot about nearly all aspects of the business and have a tangible impact on the business results.
I am nervous about the unknown workload/expectations, and extremely hesitant about giving up a fully remote position, especially at a very good company, in a role I don't hate, and with a supervisor I like. Also a touch concerned about the risk of trusting a small company will survive an economic slowdown, and where I would go next if the position did not workout for any reason.
Sorry for the long post. Thank you in advance for your input.
2024.05.20 04:57 Redmon511 AITAH for snapping at my mom
I (15m) and my mom are currently the only people living in my house because my two older sisters currently do not live here(20 and 24 respectively) For more background, my dad sadly passed away when I was just six and it has affected me my whole childhood. Despite this I deal with it in my own ways and go absolutely out of my way to not bring it up around friends or family to not try and drag it out and seem like I’m trying to get people to pity me. Throughout childhood I’ve gone to different therapy groups and camps for grief but since I’m so young they often are just fun and have nothing to do with grief. Yesterday my mom came up to me really excited and said that this summer a spot opened up at a week long sleepover camp for teens who’s parents have been affected by cancer. After researching the camp I told my mom that I just wasn’t very interested but thanks for trying to find something fun. My mom starts arguing with me about how fun it would be and how I could get my feelings out. I explained to my mom that I just handle my grief differently and don’t like talking about it. She was really upset that I didn’t want to go to this camp and kept on egging me on about how I should go to get some feelings out and how it’s good to talk about my feelings with others. After nearly an hour of this I straight up lost it and told her “I understand that you don’t get how I feel because your dad isn’t dead. But guess what mine is and believe it or not it’s actually more problematic to talk about than helpful which I’ve tried to tell you by dropping out of therapy groups multiple times.” My mom started crying and I apologized and she did as well and said she won’t make me go but I feel bad and want to know if im the a hole.
submitted by Redmon511 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:55 ResidentParking9387 Men’s emotional availability
Why is it when you want a man? He wants nothing to fucking do with you. But turn that around and you make it exceptionally clear that you’re not interested in somebody. All they wanna do is be up your ass. I have had this thing for this cute guy who is my age he has a job. He has a great family, but has no interest in a real relationship. There’s this older dude who I have made it exceptionally clear that I have no interest in him whatsoever and yet he still keeps messaging me and wants to know every single thing about me wants to date me blah blah blah. I There’s this older dude who I have made it exceptionally clear that I have no interest in him whatsoever and yet he still keeps messaging me and wants to know every single thing about me wants to date me blah blah blah. I don’t get it.
submitted by ResidentParking9387 to dating [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:55 Hbabykitty Not sure what to do
- Has anyone found they were like not functioning while on parnate because of the fatigue and switched to another maoi that was less sedating ?
the first couple days were so nice, I felt my mood lift, my anxiety was almost gone, social anxiety subsided a little bit.
So idk it definitely really scared me and not sure what to do.
2024.05.20 04:54 throwaway87289238t29 AITA For telling my mom she has to move out of my house if she keeps triggering my eating disorder?
Trigger Warning: eating disorder.
(Long) Backstory: I (38F) have dealt with weight issues since I was a child. Looking back at pictures of myself I wasn't actually big, just not a stick-figure, and probably would have lost most of my baby-fat with age. Unfortunately starting at around the age of eight my family decided that I was obscenely fat, and being entrenched in 80's diet-culture started withholding food from me/not having food in the house (I was a latch-key kid and often home alone after school), which led me to binge when I DID have access to food, and develop very bad food-insecurities. This, combined with the familial disappointment that instead of losing weight I was actually gaining, resulted in my developing a raging case of body dysmorphia and Atypical Anorexia where I would starve myself for up to days at a time, then binge everything in sight, feel guilty for "failing" and eating, which started the vicious cycle all over again. Unfortunately as a result no matter how healthy I eat and how much I work out, my body now perpetually thinks I am in a famine situation and holds on to my "fat reserves" in anticipation of another "famine"
In my late 20's I started working on modifying my behavior and recognizing my triggers myself, and about five years ago I started working with a team of ED specialists (Doctor, Dietician, Therapist). As a result, I have not had an "episode" in more than five years. In that time my weight has leveled out and I'm a size 20 (I'm 5'11, and *shocker* very physically active). The voice in my head that tells me I'm "failing" for eating anything at all is still there, but I have better coping mechanisms now to deal with it.
I was in the process of becoming a bariatric surgery candidate when the weight-loss drug Wegovy became available again. My Doctor was happy to prescribe it to me as an alternative to major surgery, and it's been nothing short of miraculous. I'm down 25lbs in 10 weeks, which is a loss rate I'm very happy with, and I am feeling great. I have had to work with my ED team on working out a way for me to modify and keep track of my diet without hitting any of my triggers (the consensus is I'm allowed whatever sounds good to eat, but I need to focus on protein. It's been working great so far)
Now, on to the part where I may be the asshole:
My mother has lived with me for the last several years. She is mostly financially-dependent on me, and I'm not going to lie but we often do not have the best relationship. Unfortunately, her only other option is to live in her car, so here we are.
She has always been critical about my appearance, always under the guise of "concern", and still likes to give unsolicited diet-advice even though I have told her until I'm blue in the face that many of her "suggestions" are either insanely unhealthy (only eating eggs and getting only 400 calories a day), or massive triggers for my ED, which she believes I am "making up for attention".
Since starting the Wegovy she has actually been very positive and supportive, and notices the changes in my shape before I do. However, she has recently started getting very critical again about what specifically I'm eating, and she doesn't believe me that my meals are dietician-approved because they often contain things like carbs, or because I'll drink milk as a post-workout drink.
Last night my mom started ranting that she's been on some of the Wegovy-support groups on FB, and I'm not losing weight as fast as many other people (This is true, some people are losing 20+lbs a month, but they are also having more issues with loose skin which I would like to minimize if I can), so I must not be dieting right, and I need to start doing X, Y, and Z, otherwise I'm going to fail and stay fat forever.
After a long argument where I reiterated that X, Y, and Z are major triggers for my ED and that I have told her countless times these are major triggers, I finally yelled at her that if she keeps doing this she will have to find somewhere else to live. My mom started crying, saying she's only trying to help me, and that it's not fair that I threaten her home when I know she has nowhere else to go.
Today she's been acting like nothing ever happened, but her BFF called me and told me he understands where I'm coming from, but I'm still an asshole for threatening to throw her out.
So, AITA?
submitted by throwaway87289238t29 to AITAH [link] [comments]
(Long) Backstory: I (38F) have dealt with weight issues since I was a child. Looking back at pictures of myself I wasn't actually big, just not a stick-figure, and probably would have lost most of my baby-fat with age. Unfortunately starting at around the age of eight my family decided that I was obscenely fat, and being entrenched in 80's diet-culture started withholding food from me/not having food in the house (I was a latch-key kid and often home alone after school), which led me to binge when I DID have access to food, and develop very bad food-insecurities. This, combined with the familial disappointment that instead of losing weight I was actually gaining, resulted in my developing a raging case of body dysmorphia and Atypical Anorexia where I would starve myself for up to days at a time, then binge everything in sight, feel guilty for "failing" and eating, which started the vicious cycle all over again. Unfortunately as a result no matter how healthy I eat and how much I work out, my body now perpetually thinks I am in a famine situation and holds on to my "fat reserves" in anticipation of another "famine"
In my late 20's I started working on modifying my behavior and recognizing my triggers myself, and about five years ago I started working with a team of ED specialists (Doctor, Dietician, Therapist). As a result, I have not had an "episode" in more than five years. In that time my weight has leveled out and I'm a size 20 (I'm 5'11, and *shocker* very physically active). The voice in my head that tells me I'm "failing" for eating anything at all is still there, but I have better coping mechanisms now to deal with it.
I was in the process of becoming a bariatric surgery candidate when the weight-loss drug Wegovy became available again. My Doctor was happy to prescribe it to me as an alternative to major surgery, and it's been nothing short of miraculous. I'm down 25lbs in 10 weeks, which is a loss rate I'm very happy with, and I am feeling great. I have had to work with my ED team on working out a way for me to modify and keep track of my diet without hitting any of my triggers (the consensus is I'm allowed whatever sounds good to eat, but I need to focus on protein. It's been working great so far)
Now, on to the part where I may be the asshole:
My mother has lived with me for the last several years. She is mostly financially-dependent on me, and I'm not going to lie but we often do not have the best relationship. Unfortunately, her only other option is to live in her car, so here we are.
She has always been critical about my appearance, always under the guise of "concern", and still likes to give unsolicited diet-advice even though I have told her until I'm blue in the face that many of her "suggestions" are either insanely unhealthy (only eating eggs and getting only 400 calories a day), or massive triggers for my ED, which she believes I am "making up for attention".
Since starting the Wegovy she has actually been very positive and supportive, and notices the changes in my shape before I do. However, she has recently started getting very critical again about what specifically I'm eating, and she doesn't believe me that my meals are dietician-approved because they often contain things like carbs, or because I'll drink milk as a post-workout drink.
Last night my mom started ranting that she's been on some of the Wegovy-support groups on FB, and I'm not losing weight as fast as many other people (This is true, some people are losing 20+lbs a month, but they are also having more issues with loose skin which I would like to minimize if I can), so I must not be dieting right, and I need to start doing X, Y, and Z, otherwise I'm going to fail and stay fat forever.
After a long argument where I reiterated that X, Y, and Z are major triggers for my ED and that I have told her countless times these are major triggers, I finally yelled at her that if she keeps doing this she will have to find somewhere else to live. My mom started crying, saying she's only trying to help me, and that it's not fair that I threaten her home when I know she has nowhere else to go.
Today she's been acting like nothing ever happened, but her BFF called me and told me he understands where I'm coming from, but I'm still an asshole for threatening to throw her out.
So, AITA?
2024.05.20 04:54 Anxious_Temporary314 I turned down hooking up/ casual whatever and he still wants to go on the date..? I’m so confused
My coworker ( we just recently met ) we met about 2 weeks ago but only seen each other about 3-4 times at work. I noticed he seemed interested in me and so after talking a bit he eventually asked me out. He originally said he isn’t looking for anything serious but wants my company in a very obviously way. After noticing I wasn’t really for it he just made a date for the hangout. I didn’t reply mostly because I was working then he suggested going out to eat and hanging out at his place or getting breakfast and walking around the park. I agreed to that one because I was feeling a bit awkward about the first plan. I don’t know what he’s thinking.
submitted by Anxious_Temporary314 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.20 04:52 Public_Distance_2741 Dilemma in choosing Uni Course
Hi everyone! Could anyone help me and give me advice?
I got an offer from NTU english but I am in huge denial whether to accept the offer (the deadline is in a few days time)...
One reason why is because I feel like I am more interested in studying psychology or bio/anatomy related materials... however, since I came from a business diploma background and did not take a maths or H2 math or sciences and my cgpa hovers around 3.4..., my chances of getting into local uni for these courses are prob close to none...
After going through biz diploma, I feel like i want to study something more technical, things that are more challenging (???) instead of generic materials... Yes then there is also another side of me would think about thoughts like if I cannot even do well in business, how can i do well in sciences? What if I ended up not doing well in sciences as well? What if my max academic ability is only studying those disciplines that are 'easier'...
Other reasons are because I am unsure whether I can cope with eng literature and unsure if there are any job prospects for this degree..
In terms of career aspirations, I have none. Honestly, as long as I have a stable income, everything is okay since I do not plan to have a car or start a family...
Though, I do know that there are some industries I def do not want to go into e.g.) marketing, business development, social work (cos I feel like my personality and capabilities do not match the 'outgoing' jobs...)
I thought of a few pathways that I can go about but I still don't know what to do..:
1) take up the ntu eng degree, try to power through the degree, gain internship experiences, work work and save up money to get another degree 2) take 1-2 gap years and work, then go for a private degree (like JCU pscyh, SIM psych or psb biomed)
3) apply for another science/psych diploma (yes, i know tuition grant is only for 10 sem) but idk if I can even apply to another diploma cos I came from PFP...)
4) take private a levels
What should I do?...
submitted by Public_Distance_2741 to SGExams [link] [comments]
I got an offer from NTU english but I am in huge denial whether to accept the offer (the deadline is in a few days time)...
One reason why is because I feel like I am more interested in studying psychology or bio/anatomy related materials... however, since I came from a business diploma background and did not take a maths or H2 math or sciences and my cgpa hovers around 3.4..., my chances of getting into local uni for these courses are prob close to none...
After going through biz diploma, I feel like i want to study something more technical, things that are more challenging (???) instead of generic materials... Yes then there is also another side of me would think about thoughts like if I cannot even do well in business, how can i do well in sciences? What if I ended up not doing well in sciences as well? What if my max academic ability is only studying those disciplines that are 'easier'...
Other reasons are because I am unsure whether I can cope with eng literature and unsure if there are any job prospects for this degree..
In terms of career aspirations, I have none. Honestly, as long as I have a stable income, everything is okay since I do not plan to have a car or start a family...
Though, I do know that there are some industries I def do not want to go into e.g.) marketing, business development, social work (cos I feel like my personality and capabilities do not match the 'outgoing' jobs...)
I thought of a few pathways that I can go about but I still don't know what to do..:
1) take up the ntu eng degree, try to power through the degree, gain internship experiences, work work and save up money to get another degree 2) take 1-2 gap years and work, then go for a private degree (like JCU pscyh, SIM psych or psb biomed)
3) apply for another science/psych diploma (yes, i know tuition grant is only for 10 sem) but idk if I can even apply to another diploma cos I came from PFP...)
4) take private a levels
What should I do?...
2024.05.20 04:52 LeccinumInsigne [F4M] Post Apoc/Planet of The Apes Inspired Roleplay
I am 18+ and all participants and characters must be 18+ as well. As I'm about 30, I do tend to prefer people closer to my own age.
Hello! I've recently started working my way through the Planet of The Apes Saga again and it remains one of my favorite movie/tropes. I'm hoping to find some fellow roleplayers with an interest in a story where society has collapsed due to a virus that has drastically enhanced a new species, planting it at the top of the food chain. I have some plot ideas below, but I'm also open to hearing your own interests and ideas!
A. Classic POTA: A lab working for a miracle drug to treat Alzheimer's Disease resulted in the release of the "Simian Flu," a contagion that swept through the human population like wildfire and eradicated the majority of their numbers. Human society collapsed and Apes thrived, evolving exponentially: they built cities within the forests, developed their own sign language, and even began to pick up the basics of the English language. Apes believe the humans have died out, save for a few rare stragglers clinging to the bones of their city ruins, so when a small group of survivors accidentally stumbles upon a troupe of Apes hunting in the forests, tensions immediately rise and a stand-off ensues. With casualties on both sides, the fighting clears as the humans retreat...leaving one of their wounded behind.
B. Supernatural POTA Trope: In this universe, the virus released was either spread by canines (causing Lycanthropy) or chiropterans (creating vampires) and the infected/mutated portion of humanity have become the nightmares lurking in the night that scares what few humans remain into hiding. Humans scavenge during the daylight hours and are wary of each other, as it's impossible to tell who is and isn't infected...at least, until the sun goes down. During a routine supply run into the crumbling ruins of a large city's downtown area, an earthquake causes the remaining structures to collapse, creating chaos as the nightmare brood sleeping in the shadows flees crumbling buildings, and humans attempt to escape the falling debris as well as the bloodthirsty, flesh-hungry maws of the infected. In the confusion, a human and one of the infected are trapped in the subway, with only each other, and the supplies they carried at the time of the disaster.
Questions I'm Anticipating:
Q: Which non-human species/monsters are available to be played for this roleplay? A: Suggest one that has your fancy and I can consider it, otherwise it's the ones listed!
Q: Are there other types of post-apocalypse settings available? A: Yes! I'm also a huge fan of TLOU and I Am Legend, as well as creating our own lore.
That's all! Thanks for reading! Please send a chat or DM if you're interested.
submitted by LeccinumInsigne to Roleplay [link] [comments]
Hello! I've recently started working my way through the Planet of The Apes Saga again and it remains one of my favorite movie/tropes. I'm hoping to find some fellow roleplayers with an interest in a story where society has collapsed due to a virus that has drastically enhanced a new species, planting it at the top of the food chain. I have some plot ideas below, but I'm also open to hearing your own interests and ideas!
A. Classic POTA: A lab working for a miracle drug to treat Alzheimer's Disease resulted in the release of the "Simian Flu," a contagion that swept through the human population like wildfire and eradicated the majority of their numbers. Human society collapsed and Apes thrived, evolving exponentially: they built cities within the forests, developed their own sign language, and even began to pick up the basics of the English language. Apes believe the humans have died out, save for a few rare stragglers clinging to the bones of their city ruins, so when a small group of survivors accidentally stumbles upon a troupe of Apes hunting in the forests, tensions immediately rise and a stand-off ensues. With casualties on both sides, the fighting clears as the humans retreat...leaving one of their wounded behind.
B. Supernatural POTA Trope: In this universe, the virus released was either spread by canines (causing Lycanthropy) or chiropterans (creating vampires) and the infected/mutated portion of humanity have become the nightmares lurking in the night that scares what few humans remain into hiding. Humans scavenge during the daylight hours and are wary of each other, as it's impossible to tell who is and isn't infected...at least, until the sun goes down. During a routine supply run into the crumbling ruins of a large city's downtown area, an earthquake causes the remaining structures to collapse, creating chaos as the nightmare brood sleeping in the shadows flees crumbling buildings, and humans attempt to escape the falling debris as well as the bloodthirsty, flesh-hungry maws of the infected. In the confusion, a human and one of the infected are trapped in the subway, with only each other, and the supplies they carried at the time of the disaster.
Questions I'm Anticipating:
Q: Which non-human species/monsters are available to be played for this roleplay? A: Suggest one that has your fancy and I can consider it, otherwise it's the ones listed!
Q: Are there other types of post-apocalypse settings available? A: Yes! I'm also a huge fan of TLOU and I Am Legend, as well as creating our own lore.
That's all! Thanks for reading! Please send a chat or DM if you're interested.
2024.05.20 04:52 Then_Marionberry_259 My husband inherited a box of various coins. These ones looked the most interesting me. Are these worth anything?
 | submitted by Then_Marionberry_259 to MetalsOnReddit [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 04:52 Hayate-kun 60 most-viewed ASMR videos published on YouTube last week (2024-05-05 to 2024-05-11) [Discussion]
No eatingslimekinetic sandmagnetic ballsstop motion cookingnoisy reaction/comedymarbles<2 minuteanimatedchiropractic
2024.05.20 04:51 DrKorvin Joining the VIII Legion with a new Kill Team set
 | Hey NightLords, submitted by DrKorvin to NightLords [link] [comments] I've finally taken the plunge into the chaos minis, and I couldn't be more excited to share my first painted Night Lord from the new Kill Team box set! I know there's always room for improvement, and I'd love to hear your thoughts and any tips for future models, brothers. P.S. If someone is interested, the base is from TavernCraftStudios on Etsy. |
2024.05.20 04:49 Rainbowgoth5887 Attracted to a manipulative woman??
Look I had a small misunderstanding with a woman I met a few days ago over text, and it was hard to tell who was in the wrong because she thought I was parsing words and seeing something that wasn’t there, and kept denying the issues I had.
Occasionally she’d say things that could be interpreted as condescending, patronizing or mocking, at least from my subjective point of view.
And I haven’t been able to ask a 3rd party for a second opinion because I have no close friends I’m talking to regularly and I don’t want my family to see anything that personal about my sexuality, since me being a “sub” and her being a “domme” is mentioned. I’m also not open to my family about this stuff.
She reached out to me initially, and her personality is very attractive. She was super nice up until I mentioned a contentious subject and then her behavior changed a bit and we had a little dispute. Frankly I wish it were never brought because now I can’t get it out of my head. I’m sort of questioning my reality, and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m trying to be charitable and I’m second guessing myself. I really like this girl despite hardly knowing her. I blocked her after our dispute because I felt like everything I said she would misinterpret and it would make me look a little stupid like I’m getting mad over something I just invented in my head.
I just can’t imagine someone wanting to be manipulative and maybe it’s unconscious but I dunno I am second guessing if I was in the right or not especially considering I haven’t shown it to anyone. I hate the term “gaslighting” because it is thrown around a lot, but if I am in the right I certainly do feel gaslit, if not I’m just being too sensitive and delusional.
I dunno… i can’t tell if she’s abusive or not… but I rarely meet a woman I’m this interested in… just someone deeply interesting, open minded, opinionated, intellectual, feminist, with a strong personality and sense of humor… she also gets a lot of my nerdy references…
I’m not sure but she was the only person who reached out to me who I really clicked with and I never get to meet women like her, let alone someone in my age group who is this kind, nerdy and has lots in common with me. She’s about 33 and I’m 29… and she has a very attractive personality. She’s more extroverted and logical than me… but unlike me she seems pragmatic, and less in touch with her emotional intelligence.
I am trying to think if I should reach out to her and unblock her… but I fear I’ll open up a can worms that will snowball because I can’t discern if the problem is me or her…
What do I do?
submitted by Rainbowgoth5887 to dating [link] [comments]
Occasionally she’d say things that could be interpreted as condescending, patronizing or mocking, at least from my subjective point of view.
And I haven’t been able to ask a 3rd party for a second opinion because I have no close friends I’m talking to regularly and I don’t want my family to see anything that personal about my sexuality, since me being a “sub” and her being a “domme” is mentioned. I’m also not open to my family about this stuff.
She reached out to me initially, and her personality is very attractive. She was super nice up until I mentioned a contentious subject and then her behavior changed a bit and we had a little dispute. Frankly I wish it were never brought because now I can’t get it out of my head. I’m sort of questioning my reality, and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m trying to be charitable and I’m second guessing myself. I really like this girl despite hardly knowing her. I blocked her after our dispute because I felt like everything I said she would misinterpret and it would make me look a little stupid like I’m getting mad over something I just invented in my head.
I just can’t imagine someone wanting to be manipulative and maybe it’s unconscious but I dunno I am second guessing if I was in the right or not especially considering I haven’t shown it to anyone. I hate the term “gaslighting” because it is thrown around a lot, but if I am in the right I certainly do feel gaslit, if not I’m just being too sensitive and delusional.
I dunno… i can’t tell if she’s abusive or not… but I rarely meet a woman I’m this interested in… just someone deeply interesting, open minded, opinionated, intellectual, feminist, with a strong personality and sense of humor… she also gets a lot of my nerdy references…
I’m not sure but she was the only person who reached out to me who I really clicked with and I never get to meet women like her, let alone someone in my age group who is this kind, nerdy and has lots in common with me. She’s about 33 and I’m 29… and she has a very attractive personality. She’s more extroverted and logical than me… but unlike me she seems pragmatic, and less in touch with her emotional intelligence.
I am trying to think if I should reach out to her and unblock her… but I fear I’ll open up a can worms that will snowball because I can’t discern if the problem is me or her…
What do I do?
2024.05.20 04:49 Driftmore Should I Pay Off Mortgage Early?
So I have around $250,000 in savings for stocks/401K/etc. I have zero debts besides my house. I have $95,000 left on a 15 year mortgage at 2.65%. I just received my first owners dispersement check of $100,000. I would like to pay off my house and be fully debt free at 32. I know some people advise this and others hate this. I want to get into rentals but the interest rates are outrageous. Ideally I would wait to buy something until rates fall. Also, I could let the money sit and make 5.5% per month. I don’t want to invest all of this in stocks because the market will tank after the election I believe.
What are everything’s thoughts?
submitted by Driftmore to FinancialPlanning [link] [comments]
What are everything’s thoughts?
2024.05.20 04:49 throwRA_3524534534 I've grown apart from my partner and friend
This is just kind of a vent. I have roleplayed (almost exclusively) with the same person for a very long time, like 15 years or so. It used to be fun and something I wanted to do constantly. I have always been more serious about the mechanics and craft of writing than my partner, but I guess when I was younger, I didn't notice much difference in our skill. I've thought before that my partner just wasn't as interested in rp as I was and, thus, wasn't putting as much effort in. But lately, it just seems like I have surpassed my partner in skill to the point that rping with them isn't fun for me anymore. I feel like I have to pull the weight and do all the heavy lifting in our rps. They will often intentionally drag things out when a timeskip-type of post is needed in order to basically force me to do it. And every time we start a new rp, they expect me to start it. Their posts are always super short and low effort. I used to try to bring these things up, but it would turn into an argument, so I just stopped.
For a while, it felt like every time we started a new rp, I was super enthusiastic about it, but my enthusiasm gradually died more and more as things went on and it became obvious the idea I'd had in my mind of how great the rp would be wasn't going to come to be. I found another partner recently, and I've never felt that they don't like the rp as much as I do or that I have to carry the whole thing. But the whole time I've been rping with them, I feel guilty, like I'm "cheating" on my original partner. It's gotten to the point that I have had to take a hiatus from rping with that partner. I know that's silly. My friend knows I rp with other people, and they don't seem bothered by it. But part of the reason I even looked for anyone else was because I wasn't enjoying our rps anymore. I guess I feel bad for not telling them, but there's not a nice way to say, "I've outgrown you in skill, and I don't enjoy writing with you anymore."
We have also been friends for this whole time. Granted, we are online friends, and that's different than "real life" friends, but they have been there for me when no one else was. But I also worry that now that I do have people around, I feel like I don't need this friend anymore. For a while, I just wasn't really talking to them much or rping with them because this has been bothering me, and I honestly think I felt better than when we are talking and rping. I think there's a part of me that is afraid we won't have anything in common and will grow apart as friends very quickly without rp in the mix. But another part of me almost wants us to grow apart just to get it over with and done. I'm just very confused by my feelings about all this. To add to the complication, I have been trying to focus more on writing just for myself because it seems like rp takes away the stamina I have to write my own stuff, but I'm not sure if that's because of everything going on or not. I guess I'm just throwing this out there and wondering if anyone has had the same experience before and what you did about it?
submitted by throwRA_3524534534 to BadRPerStories [link] [comments]
For a while, it felt like every time we started a new rp, I was super enthusiastic about it, but my enthusiasm gradually died more and more as things went on and it became obvious the idea I'd had in my mind of how great the rp would be wasn't going to come to be. I found another partner recently, and I've never felt that they don't like the rp as much as I do or that I have to carry the whole thing. But the whole time I've been rping with them, I feel guilty, like I'm "cheating" on my original partner. It's gotten to the point that I have had to take a hiatus from rping with that partner. I know that's silly. My friend knows I rp with other people, and they don't seem bothered by it. But part of the reason I even looked for anyone else was because I wasn't enjoying our rps anymore. I guess I feel bad for not telling them, but there's not a nice way to say, "I've outgrown you in skill, and I don't enjoy writing with you anymore."
We have also been friends for this whole time. Granted, we are online friends, and that's different than "real life" friends, but they have been there for me when no one else was. But I also worry that now that I do have people around, I feel like I don't need this friend anymore. For a while, I just wasn't really talking to them much or rping with them because this has been bothering me, and I honestly think I felt better than when we are talking and rping. I think there's a part of me that is afraid we won't have anything in common and will grow apart as friends very quickly without rp in the mix. But another part of me almost wants us to grow apart just to get it over with and done. I'm just very confused by my feelings about all this. To add to the complication, I have been trying to focus more on writing just for myself because it seems like rp takes away the stamina I have to write my own stuff, but I'm not sure if that's because of everything going on or not. I guess I'm just throwing this out there and wondering if anyone has had the same experience before and what you did about it?
2024.05.20 04:48 Salt-Box-3550 Help type me based on this
I've taken multiple tests and want to know exactly what type I am. I'd like an extra opinion on what potential types I might have, as I'm not sure if what results I am getting are due to me wanting to be a certain type and a certain person, and if I am an unbiased enough source. I'm not even sure if my answers to the questionnaire are the most reliable, especially since I have a bad recollection of what I've thought of in the past or my behaviors, and I have a memory that is not ideal in certain areas. On tests, I've gotten INTP, ENTP, and I have a feeling INFP and ENFP might be strong contenders.
submitted by Salt-Box-3550 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
- How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
- Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/comportamental stability somehow?
- If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
- What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in?
- How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
- Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
- Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
- Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
- What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
- How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
- Do you need logical consistency in your life?
- How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
- Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
- What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
- What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
- How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
- What's important to you and why?
- What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
- What do the "highs" in your life look like?
- What do the "lows" in your life look like?
- How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
- Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
- How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
- How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
- Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
- Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?