Sweet text messages when raining

We’ve been going out for a little bit under a year and things have been mostly good. We’ve made some of my favorite memories, we have a lot in common, our intellectual discourse is great but I have one huge gripe. The relationships he has with women are weird and I just can’t wrap my head around it or accept it and it causes tension in the relationship. Allow me elaborate. 

His friend group is about half female. One of those women he’s done sexual things with many years ago but they remain friends and regularly game together. This doesn’t weird me out. In another instance, I discovered one of his high school friends he regularly communicated with (text messages, memes, etc.) he had hooked up with multiple times, including right before we met. After initially disagreeing with me on whether it broke a boundary and arguing numerous times, he agreed to cut contact with her and apologized for the situation.

 Alas this is not it. Earlier in our relationship, a hookup of his wanted to be friends after finding out about his new girlfriend (me). I saw the notification for her messages in the car and asked about her. He assured me they were just friends now. A few months later, he left his phone open while he slept and I’m not going to lie…I looked. I saw her texting him “we should fuck really hard.” He then seemed to goad her on. When we argued about it, he said he called her to turn her down. This is a constant theme, he’ll keep in contact with women he has had sex with, wants to have sex with him, women that have a crush on him, etc. He says as long as they aren’t flirting and he isn’t having sex with them then I shouldn’t worry and press him about women that “aren’t important to him”. He says my inquiries about his loyalty are projections about my own. In another instance, he told me a girl he interacts with at a community event likes him. She’ll text him and he’ll respond. He thinks its okay because he’s not attracted to her and has turned her down. I tell him that regardless, he’s still validating her crush on him and it’s likely she still feels that way for him. He says there’s no reason to be rude to her and there’s nothing wrong with talking to her. He advocates full transparency but always acts weird when I’m around his phone. The times I’ve looked, there’s honestly been nothing. But when i ask questions or ask to see a specific thing he gets…squirmy about it. Recently i asked about an unsaved, muted number that looked like its first texts were deleted that sent him a 9 minute audio message. He showed me only a small part of the transcription where she is preaching about god but i have a suspicion he left a lot of it out. 

So am I just deathly insecure and toxic or am I validated in being weirded out and no longer wanting to date him based on this? I would like to stay with him but we’ve both found we will never agree on this issue. We’ve had numerous conversations, arguments, etc. and i just don’t understand why he feels the need to keep in contact with these women. He says i don’t understand because I’ve never had a healthy breakup and “real adults” can still keep in contact with one another while pushing their feelings aside. I call bs and he just wants the validation of having women he knows want him easily accessible.
Do i even have a future with him like this? I need a new perspective.

I feel so hurt when we fight and like he doesn’t love me and i end up breaking up with him only to message him later and want him back. Then I get upset he didn’t “fight” for me and get upset again. I had to break up with my bf because I felt he didn’t care and I don’t want to message him again because I don’t want to look desperate and he already never answered my last text :(

I, 16TM, have no privacy or say in what I do because of my whole family. Such as my mom has parental controls (for ages 13 and under) on my own, self-bought phone in which she's able to block apps, make changes to websites I'm allowed to use and even shut off my phone in 10 seconds. The problem with this is that I'm clearly over 13 and i usually only use my phone for school or get into contact with people i contact to pick me up from various places (Band, when my car is getting repaired, etc.) but with this, it makes it pretty much impossible if I'm trying to call someone while she's at work since it tells her every call, text, message i send. She also yells at me for being on my phone after 9pm or using my laptop after 7pm despite being used for schoolwork. Lastly, I can't have certain apps that my phone needs to be full such as the built in screen recorder and the ability to reset my phone if i was to trade it in.

This is gonna be long but hang in there.
My name is Chai (it's a nickname). I live in the midwest portion of the US. Distance isn't a problem but I would perfer if you were also from the US. I've never been in a real relationship before so this is gonna be pretty new for me.
About me: I'm pretty patient and easy going. I'm more than a little sarcastic and I'm almost always joking. I'm a pretty goofy person so I hope you can handle all the stupid jokes I throw your way. I can be kinda flirty but for the most part I'm incredibly shy and eaily flustered.
Call me clingy if you want, but I like texting when we're both able. I'm not possessive and I understand life gets busy but I still like to know what my partner is up to throughout the day. I want to hear how you're doing, I want to know if something is bothering you even if you just want me to listen. Talk to me, even if it's nothing. Complain about work, tell me about a cute dog you saw that day.
I'm loyal 100% I think cheating on your partner makes you a bad person, and no you can not change my mind.
My love language is mainly quality time. Even if it's long distance I don't mind hoping on a call for hours and watching a movie together. Honestly we can just chill and listen to music together while we do our own things.
My interest: Arts and crafts- I like creating things. I can go on a whole ramble about color theory. This also means I'm a master at building Ikea furniture 😎
Music- I'm not picky with genres. I play whatever fits my vibe at the moment. So if you have any recommendations I'd love to hear them
Video games- okay listen, this is a complicated one. I suck at Video games, but I do like watching other people play video games! If you think you have enough patience to teach me then I'm down.
My red flags: I have a cat I refer to as my baby. I will talk about her a lot (pictures may or may not be included)
I tell bad jokes... like really bad jokes. Dad jokes and pun level bad
What I look for: I want somebody loyal, honest and trustworthy. If this is a partnership I want it to feel that way. I can't do something one-sided. I'm giving you everything I want to feel like you're doing the same.
I don't want somebody afraid of affection or being goofy. I am an affectionate and goofy person. I want somebody who can return those vibes
I don't care about religion or political views I just ask that you respect me and my views.
Bonus if you're taller than me
I perfer somebody around my age
I'm honestly don't have a preference when it comes to body types, but recently I've been putting work into myself and bettering my health. All I'm asking is for you to encourage that for me. You don't have to be a gym rat, I'm definitely not, just be okay with me wanting to workout a little and eat healthy. Maybe be okay with going on small hikes and little adventures and outings with me too.
My appearance: I'm short (5'3) and curvy/chubby. Like I said before I've been working on myself but my body type is just curvy. It will always be that way and I'm comfortable with that. I'm white, I have curly black hair and blue eyes. I do wear glasses. (I'm blind as hell) I don't have tattoos yet but I want one or two.
If you want a selfie just ask, but I'd like one in return please.
You made it to the end of the post! Yay If you message me (and I hope you do). Don't just say Hi. Tell my your name, where you're from, how old you are and share an interesting fact about yourself!

I hoped my first post on reddit would be about something cooler, after years of lurking. Please help, I'm feeling very vulnerable because my Dad passed away early this year and I have no one to ask or to help me :/
I purchased a used car from a dealership on Feb 23. I opted for a service warranty through a third party company. I expressed interest in the exclusionary warranty because the prices were good, but the next day when I went to sign, I was told they "accidentally" gave me the prices for the lesser warranty and the warranty I wanted would be more expensive. The price seemed fair so I signed, but a week later decided that the lesser warranty that lasted a longer amount of time would benefit me more. Per the company website, requests processed prior to 30 days recieve a full refund and requests processed after are subject to a $75 fee and a prorated refund.
I asked, via text message, to have my warranty changed on March 15. I stopped by the dealership three days later to drop off my car for work and asked if I needed to sign anything-- nope, everything is taken care of, they said (the prices for the two warranties were almost identical so it seemed plausible). I asked no less than four times and was assured the paperwork had been processed. Attempts to pick up a copy of the new paperwork were brushed off. I texted my salesman three days ago asking in writing for a copy at their earliest convenience and recieved no reply.
I finally decided to reach out to the warranty company and as I had started to suspect, the paperwork was never filed. I called the dealership and asked what happened, no one knows. Three people that work there had told me the paperwork was taken care of.
They sent me an email with a contract cancellation form, showing a cancellation fee of $75 and a prorated refund-- I would lose $400+$75 because of their mistake. They also told me they now offer different teirs of warranty that don't match mine and I will have to pay the difference. That's fair, but I also am anticipating the price going up because my car now has 6,000 more miles on it than it did when I requested the switch in warranty.
I emailed them back and asked for the new prices but stated that because the error was theirs and not mine I expected a full refund for my old warranty.
What should I do? I was hoping they'd say I can apply the $475 to a new warranty, although they'll probably just inflate the new price to make sure they're not losing that money. This isn't the only sketchy thing they've done but it is the most sketchy thing they've done.
I can cancel completely and wash my hands of it but what if they won't give me my money back? Small claims court is my nightmare but it's enough money to make a difference for me.
Sorry this is long :( Willing to give more info if needed.
TD;LR the dealership failed to submit forms on time, costed me $475. What should I do?

I (27 F) and my husband (27 M) got married 6 months ago. We have known each other for 4 years and been together for 3 years (long distance.) We have had a fairly healthy relationship & marriage and have been very happy. One morning and just out of random curiosity I started going through his phone, I wasn’t looking for anything nor did I have any suspicions but was just bored and decided to look through his ig, fb, iMessages etc.
I saw a text on his phone from what at the time had been a month ago to a number claiming he was someone else (a totally random name) and was basically telling this girl that he is sorry about his sudden absence recently due to some random bullshit story about his aunt passing away and how he was trying to deal with those emotions and how he misses this girl and wants to reconnect with her soon. (It looked Chat GPT written) There was no response to this text (or it was deleted) but the original message he texted to her was there. I did some more digging and realized he had sent this message the day I was not going to be home for the night and he just forgot to delete it. I further checked his recently deleted messages, didn’t see anything, then I went to his recently deleted pictures and saw dick pics and mirror selfies of the guy he was claiming to be that I’m assuming he sent or was going to send to her which was obvious they were just randomly taken from the internet.
I confronted him about it and he immediately deleted the text from his phone and said it’s not what it looks like and the story is very embarrassing. He told me how back in the day he use to catfish women online (supposedly way prior to meeting me like in highschool/early college) pretending to be a random man that he wasn’t, he never met up with anyone and just use to “talk” to girls. He said he did that because he was very insecure because he use to be a chunky guy, and his insecurities led him to catfish girls online . Apparently about 2-3 months ago, one of the girls he had catfished years ago, found out who he was and was threatening to expose him. He said he would be getting calls and texts from someone saying they know who he really was and he said he was scared so he tried to convince this person that he was in fact the person he had claimed to be and was sending pictures as “proof” of this catfisher identity.
When I asked him what prompted him to initiate and send the text just recently of the whole sob story about his aunt dying and how he misses this girl and wants to reconnect, he claimed that it was just to reassure this woman that he was in fact the person he was claiming to be, so she stops contacting him threatening to expose him. He claimed he was scared of being exposed so texted that to cover his tracks for good.
I wasn’t buying the story, I told him how the pieces weren’t adding up and asked him why he hid this from me. He has always known that one of my core values in a relationship is being open and honest and I absolutely do not tolerate being lied to. He was very apologetic and said he was just very embarrassed to tell me about what he had done in the past and thought he could have just dealt with it on his own like he had before. (Apparently this has happened in the past before we were married where he was getting threats to be exposed) I asked him if this was his plan for the rest of his life to just message women claiming he is the guy he said he was and just continue this in the course of our marriage. He kept saying how he should have told me and been honest but was just very embarrassed about his past to tell me. He said if he actually wanted to “cheat” on me there were other “smarter” ways to do it where it didn’t include using his own phone number and texting girls from it. He said he was dumb enough to use his actual number in high school era when he didn’t know better but why would he have used his actual number now.
I’m not sure what to do, I have lost trust in him. This absolutely broke me to pieces and I couldn’t eat or sleep for days. Didn’t know if I wanted to leave him or stay or where I would even go. I have been trying to ignore it but have communicated with him on multiple occasions about how hurt I am, how I felt like I have been cheated on so early into our marriage. He talked to his therapist about what went down and his therapist basically told him he needs to work on regaining my trust back. Since then I have all his passwords to his social medias and just been trying to process it. I had a wedding to attend to shortly after and didn’t want to show up alone so just tried to keep it together but now that all this has passed, I just don’t know what this means for me and for our future.
Overall our newly married life was doing great, I was super happy, we were doing great navigating our marriage together and adjusting to our new life styles. And then this happened and just have been taken back by it all.
I don’t know if I should just believe him and just forgive him or if I should continue playing detective and reach out to the number who he sent the text to because I screenshotted it (however, I don’t know what I would say to this girl and if his story is actually true, I don’t want to actually end up having his face smacked on the next documentary that exposes catfishers.) I’m not sure if it’s possible to get AT&T phone records and see how often he actually texted this numbe how long it has been and see if his story matches up. Or if I should even pursue any of this.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Me (25F) and my bf (27M) have been exclusively dating for 2 months now. We see each other quite often, like 3-4 times a week. We work out together, text every day, go to places/events, I met his sister and all his roommates, go to his place often, we sleep on his bed, and I'm planning to introduce him to my friends soon. He's been really nice to me and he's really sweet. We also got a lot in common so we hit it off instantly.
From what I've heard from his friends, he was casually dating a girl before me for 3 months. He also introduced her to his friends and she went over to his place often. But the girl broke things off with him twice since the girl started getting busy.
Lately, I noticed that my bf turned on his do not disturb setting on his phone, but only when we are hanging out (I can see when I open our messages and it says his notifs are silent). My gut feeling tells me something is off. The other day, we were hanging out at his place and he went to take a shower, leaving his phone on the bed unlocked. I know it's wrong to snoop, but I checked his messages and saw that he's been messaging his ex-casual. He texted her recently asking if the girl wants to come over as he will have the own place to himself. He even said "I miss your body, every inch of you. We haven't done the things we talked about doing'.
Not really sure what to feel. He makes me feel special, introducing me to his sister and close friends, taking me out on dates, we even have plans for the future. Need advice.
TLDR: bf messaging his ex sexual partner for sex

Me (25F) and my bf (27M) have been exclusively dating for 2 months now. We see each other quite often, like 3-4 times a week. We work out together, text every day, go to places/events, I met his sister and all his roommates, go to his place often, we sleep on his bed, and I'm planning to introduce him to my friends soon. He's been really nice to me and he's really sweet. We also got a lot in common so we hit it off instantly.
From what I've heard from his friends, he was casually dating a girl before me for 3 months. He also introduced her to his friends and she went over to his place often. But the girl broke things off with him twice since the girl started getting busy.
Lately, I noticed that my bf turned on his do not disturb setting on his phone, but only when we are hanging out (I can see when I open our messages and it says his notifs are silent). My gut feeling tells me something is off. The other day, we were hanging out at his place and he went to take a shower, leaving his phone on the bed unlocked. I know it's wrong to snoop, but I checked his messages and saw that he's been messaging his ex-casual. He texted her recently asking if the girl wants to come over as he will have the own place to himself. He even said "I miss your body, every inch of you. We haven't done the things we talked about doing'.
Not really sure what to feel. He makes me feel special, introducing me to his sister and close friends, taking me out on dates, we even have plans for the future. Need advice.
TLDR: bf messaging his ex sexual partner for sex

I (F, 31) started kind of dating my high school crush (M, 32) 4 months ago. I used to find him attractive when I was in high school but he was pretty mean and dismissive of me when we were in high school. I remember one time he was so mean to me I started crying. He used to be in love with my best friend who is now married with kids. After high school we didn't stay in contact since we weren't even friends when we were in high school but we sometimes exchanged messages about my best friend since they were good friends (inviting him to her birthday party, planning a video for her etc…). During that time I got over him very easily since he was just a crush and went through life. I lost a member of my family and spiraled into depression, I lost my relationship to my boyfriend at the time whom I really loved because of it, I struggled in my studies, I failed at every aspect of my life and I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
A year and a half ago, my old crush, E, lost one his parents and I accompanied one of my friend trying to console him. I also convinced my group of friends who was organising a surprise birthday party for one of our friends to buy him a group gift as his birthday was 2 days before the party and I didn't want his first birthday without his parent to be about it.
The reason I did that is because I tend to project my own feelings and suffering on others, and as losing my parent was incredibly hurtful and birthday were and still are hard to celebrate I was scared he would be feeling the same thing. I never disclosed this to him obviously since we were not close and I didn't want him to think it was my idea to celebrate his birthday.
He rang we one day to ask me to help him tell my best friend that he won't be able to make a party she is throwing since he doesn't like to disappoint her and as I was in a great mood (probably in a hypomanic state) I kept the conversation going for hours. This is not abnormal for me and in my good days I often stay for hours on the phone with my friends and make them laugh.
However he began clinging to me after that and soon after he told me loved me and then explained to me that he was in love with me since high school and was mean to me because I ignored him once or twice (which is probably true since I know I did avoid him at first because he made me nervous and because I didn't understand my physical attraction to him).
I agreed to trying something with him for different reasons : - I didn't want to break his heart and I didn't want him to be alone because I kept remembering what I felt when it happened to me - I had people close to me stage an intervention because I was single for 7 years and they were worried about me - I figured I can love him if I tried since I used to find him physically attractive - I make stupid decisions
Fastforwod to now, I still can't tell him that I love him back or call him any sweet nickname like he does for me, I find him cringe, I don’t like when he comments on my body (even if it’s on a positive way) in a sexual manner, I don’t enjoy our conversations.
Also, I am starting to think that I should get married and make babies soon but I don’t think I should since I enjoy being alone and I am scared that I would be a depressed mom to my children.
Also, he made derogatory comments about people with disorders like mine (he doesn't know I have a disorder) and he told me whenever he would see me in the years after highschool he would always like I had a dark cloud around me (this part really hurt me because firstevall I thought I was hiding it well and secondly if he really loved me since highschool then why didn’t he try to help me ).
Anyway, apart from that he is really nice to me and is so in love with me I feel guilty never saying back to him.
My question is, what should I do? And how stupid and narcissistic I am and how to get better at life at my old age ?

Me (25F) and my bf (27M) have been exclusively dating for 2 months now. We see each other quite often, like 3-4 times a week. We work out together, text every day, go to places/events, I met his sister and all his roommates, go to his place often, we sleep on his bed, and I'm planning to introduce him to my friends soon. He's been really nice to me and he's really sweet. We also got a lot in common so we hit it off instantly.
From what I've heard from his friends, he was casually dating a girl before me for 3 months. He also introduced her to his friends and she went over to his place often. But the girl broke things off with him twice since the girl started getting busy.
Lately, I noticed that my bf turned on his do not disturb setting on his phone, but only when we are hanging out (I can see when I open our messages and it says his notifs are silent). My gut feeling tells me something is off. The other day, we were hanging out at his place and he went to take a shower, leaving his phone on the bed unlocked. I know it's wrong to snoop, but I checked his messages and saw that he's been messaging his ex-casual. He texted her recently asking if the girl wants to come over as he will have the own place to himself. He even said "I miss your body, every inch of you. We haven't done the things we talked about doing'.
Not really sure what to feel. He makes me feel special, introducing me to his sister and close friends, taking me out on dates, we even have plans for the future. Need advice.
TLDR: bf messaging his ex sexual partner for sex

Recently I ended a relationship with my ex, which lasted less than 6 months. Although he was charming, caring, and loving, his unpredictable behavior, particularly his mood swings and over reactions to small things strained my feelings for him. The break up was difficult but I held onto the hope that we could maintain friendship after some time passed.
2 weeks later things took an unexpected turn when he returned to beg for reconciliation which I declined, provoking anger from him. At that point, we still had stuff at each other's places. And he took his stuff and demanded returning some gifts he had given me, which I gave without argument. He was visibly angry when he left my place.
5 minutes later, he texted me "Don’t contact me for any reason" and continued to threaten to place my stuff in the trash if they are still at his place that same day. I wasn't sure if he would open the gate for me so to avoid further drama I chose not to respond to his ultimatum.
Another 2 weeks passed with no communication until he called and left messages about a cup he claimed belonged to his mother, left at my place.
Initially I considered shipping the glass to his place and then realized that I don't have his full address. So I didn't respond and no further contact from him since then. While I still want to return it, l'm hesitant to reopen communication with him.
Should I continue ignoring his messages and focus on moving forward or should I respond and return the cup?
What's the best course of action here and why?

Throwaway because she knows my main account.
So, I (M22) am dating my girlfriend of eight months (F21). The problem is the following:
Today, I decided to the movie theater with my siblings as I treat. I've been struggling with university time management and exams lately, so I haven't had the time to relax except for watching shows in the evenings before bed. I always make sure to text my girlfriend throughout the day because we both enjoy it. For the last days, she seemed down and mentioned she felt a bit sad lately. However, and I might be in the wrong here, I didn't ask specifically ask why and instead, told her several times that I was sorry she felt that way and that I wished I could take her sadness away.
I told her that I'd go to the movie theater to watch a movie. She mentioned she'd missed me and I told her I'd miss her as well. Then, I turned off my phone and enjoyed the film. Three hours later, I texted her that I was now free. Instead of asking me about the movie or how I was as she usually would, she sent a simple text message. I asked her what was wrong and she said she felt on a low mood.
Now, this is where I might be the AH. But I genuinely didn't wanted to let me mood be ruined by this (I finally got to relax after weeks, I didn't wanted to ruin it). So instead, I turned off my phone and talked to my friends that came along about the movie. Then, as I arrived home, I turned on my phone to tell her that I got home. I realized that she wasn't being as enthusiastic as before when telling me about her day and I realized that I hadn't asked her how her day went. When I did, she replied shortly, which isn't normal. So I asked her what was wrong. Then she said that she was sad and wasn't in the mood to talk, which made me upset because I wanted to talk to her before bed (I find it relaxing and sweet). She said she loved me and that she hoped I rested well. And that I could tell her about the movie tomorrow because she felt drained.
I asked her why and she said that she missed me throughout the day and wanted to talk to me but I was busy with lessons (I forgot to because I was focused and stressed). So I asked her why she didn't wanted to now, and she said that she knew I'd doze off and not listen clearly as always. She said that her 'excitement expired' and wanted to talk tomorrow instead. I insisted on solving this before going to bed but she just said goodnight and is now offline. I'm upset at the situation and really don't understand what I did wrong.
Is my girlfriend being emotional? Or am I the asshole?

So yesterday I was ore mining away in a .7 space waiting for Ice belt to drop. Unexpectedly a criminal drops on deck, I panic as it hadn’t happened to me in quite sometime, I immediately pull drones and initiated warp on my alts.
The suspect has a guy on him so I’m suddenly not as worried but I get out. Nothing lost I am safe at station.
At this moment is when I fucked up.
Buddy messaged me asking for help so I’m like okay easy kill, I’ll help!!. Whipped out my ratting Gila thinking oh well that’ll have enough dps, oh was I wrong. Not fitted for PvP what so ever.
A literal PVP noob
All you vets are now filling the blanks and yes it turned into a ransom situation which I played right into literally to the letter not thinking until it was already to late. kill rights & all…….. 🤦
Not entirely thinking of the situation I continue as normal.
Today….
Let’s do some mining!!!
Boom kill rights activated Orca on lock down. 4 alts warped to safety.
He wants to barter I said blow it up, took awhile but he did eventually. I stupidly still paid for mining permits even after Orca goes boom. Idiot
Alls good got my permits gonna go get a new Orca.
Second fuck up though I knew it was fishy I needed to play it through, especially when he said EVE might not be the game for me! That pissed me off more than the ships and isk lost.
So he tells me he wants to help me get revenge on previous said player and I agree obviously extremely skeptical but hey it’s EVE anything can happen. I was already annoyed so fuck it.
Helps me fit a Gila, I warp to him ready to get that sweet sweet revenge and boom filament pop bye Gila.
5 billion + bye bye
Don’t trust anyone, had to have my Eve AA session thanks for listening.

I (51F) just got asked by my sister's (45F) bf (45M) for permission to marry her. My sister I'll call Lilly, has been married twice before and has 1 adult son and a teenage daughter. Her last marriage of 15 years just ended 4 months ago.
Her last husband was super controlling and made sure she didn't finish school or have anything close to what you'd consider a self sufficient career. In fact, she doesn't make enough to live on her own and is sleeping on the ex's couch. I offered to co sign an apt for her, but she cannot even get an apt without her alimony, which the ex is being a dick about. She will have to get him garnished and that will ruin any attempt at co parenting.
Enter the new bf who I'll call Dave. They met 3 months ago and it has been a whirlwind romance. He has a lovely family and is the single dad of 2 teenagers, and is a recent divorcee himself. His divorce was from his 3rd wife. He loves hard, clearly.
I met him for the first time last weekend when he asked my partner and I to fly out to surprise her for her birthday. It was a sweet gesture and we had a great time. I love seeing someone who appreciates what a selfless rockstar Lilly is, she deserves the world. Always puts herself last, and he so far, treats like royalty. His kids are solid and overall we left being happy they found each other.
He texted me today and said he wants to marry her, but is seeking my and her adult sons' approval before he will move forward.
They seem very happy and have plans to move in together in July.
I am afraid if I give this approval, my sister will be in a position to HAVE to say yes. She is in survival mode right now, not being able to afford to be independent. She said she is already having to hold him off, as he wants her to move in yesterday. I love her, but I also want to see her not depend on anyone for survival. I am terrified that by saying yes, I am trapping her into a marriage.
He is a sweet guy, we ran a background and he is clean, has a great job and loves the shit out of her. She says she loves him, too.
Am I wrong if I ask him to hold off until they've known each other for a year?

If you’re here to convince me not to have an abortion or don’t agree with that don’t read my post. I’m not listening to hate. But here’s my story:
My ex (19m) and I(19f) started dating when we were 16 so we’ve been together for about three years.
My ex came back from rehab after dealing with substance abuse since he was about 13 or 14. He went to rehab for opiates. He quit hardcore substances but he still smokes weed. He was very much changed person after coming back. My loving and obsessed-with-me boyfriend turned very distant, cold and nonchalant.
He came back in January and I frequently asked him for more attention than he was giving me after that. Explaining that I missed our calls on the phone, text messages and even conversations in person as he would play video games all day when I would stay at his house and wouldn’t give me attention. He’d give me attention and have a conversation with me when he would take a break from video games to roll up a blunt. And He’d also give me attention when I would have sex with him so I tried to do it a lot when he came back to feel loved( that wasn’t smart of me in retrospect). That didn’t work out as I had expected bc right after sex he’d go on voice chat with his friends and play games again even if he promised to cuddle me and talk to me after.
After constantly bringing up this issue for 4 months near the end of April. I told him I was very sad with our relationship and I was thinking about ending it. We then fought for multiple days over text and ended things after 5 days of arguing. I found out I was pregnant on May 1st, two days after we broke up, so i planned to spent the weekend at his house as we had decided to get back together on that day. I had asked him multiple times if he’d had talked to anyone else in the two days that we were broken up; he told me no. But something told me to look through his phone as he slept. I looked through it and found out he had been texting other girls a before we had broken up. And even on the day I had slept over which two days after we had gotten back together.
I cried a lot and we argued about that how it was wrong to do that to me while I’m pregnant and even at all. I was set on having an abortion the day I found out as I am very young, struggle with a lot of mental health issues and frankly I’m pretty broke. I explained the situation to his aunt, who is like his mother figure. I admit this was petty but I didn’t really have anyone to run to in this situation as I didn’t tell my family yet. He told me that was a petty thing to do and that she told him “maybe he should work on himself” and he agrees and he cut contact with me.
How do I deal with my abortion and breakup at the same time? I’m currently feeling really shitty while I know he’s ok and talking to other girls. I spent him a few messages that he hasn’t responded to. How do I accept that it is over? How do I deal with this all? How do I move on?
If you read all this thank you so much! I’m sorry for the long rant post.

Sorry for the long post, just outlining background and various events. If anyone can give me advice about kissing your close friends I’d appreciate it!
I’m a freshman at college with a big friend group. One of these guys, J, is probably the one I’m closest to. Importantly, he is considered very attractive and lots of my friends have had crushes on him. However, I’ve never seen him flirt or get with a girl in front of me (he did have a gf for the first few months and then he had casual sex with a friend).
Last month, we all went to party together. Halfway through I felt really faint as I hadn’t eaten enough and it was hot. I told him I felt like I might black out and he instantly half carried me out the room, got me juice and asked if I was ok for about 20 minutes. The genuine concern and how effective he was in the moment made me realise that he was actually attractive.
The next day, we all hung out and he invited me after to a houseparty. I asked him about his thing with one of our friends and he said that it was not romantic at all and they were just friends with benefits. At the party, I got very drunk. He came to check on me and we kissed. Afterwards I regretted it and told a friend, he said it was fine as loads of girls throw themselves at J which made me feel worse.
We texted like normal after this and I thought it was just going to be back to being friends. We never talked about the kiss. Then he asked me to be his partner for a big formal coming up (not a romantic thing as the whole group is going but previously he did go with the girl he was sleeping with).
A couple nights ago I bumped into J on a night out and I joined his group. After we left the bar, we all went to have a burger. I couldn’t decide what to get so he got us a big one to share. By the time we finished most of the others had left and he offered to walk me back to my dorm. On the walk, he said he knew my friends had a crush on him but he’s never been interested in them in that way. Then when we got to my door J just leaned straight in to kiss me and it was amazing! Super playful and he’s a great kisser. We kissed for like half an hour. He then asked if I wanted to come to his and I said no, and that our friendship was too important to risk. We just cuddled for another 10 minutes which was so lovely. After that I went to bed.
Now these are the bits that confuse me:
The next morning, one of his friends had texted my best female friend (she had a crush on J) saying dont let OP fall for it, sent roughly the time J walked me home.
Secondly, we’ve spoken since but again haven’t addressed the kiss or anything. We also haven’t hung out in person so it’s hard to gauge.
I’m just a bit worried about the message the friend sent? And the fact that he asked to go to his bedroom so quickly.
I don’t want to mess up our friendship but I do really like J and I’m now attracted to him. Should I explore something romantic or does he sound just in it for sex?

For context, I am still pretty young (18). I am barely entering college this fall, the oldest child out of three. I wanted to make a post about this burning question I've had for a while.
I know my dad is involved with another woman, I'm not sure how far it has gone, but I have text messages as evidence. I tried to confront him once, and he was "willing to listen to me," but it felt like he was dismissing me. Not talking much and just saying, "Okay..." "Yeah..." I expressed how disappointed I was with him and that he had lost all trust in me. Previously, he told me that he had a flirty co-worker at his job when we were eating breakfast together, and I tried to give him advice on how to avoid her. We all know that didn't happen and took another turn. Now I am stuck in this predicament.
I'll be honest, I came in frustrated when I first talked to him. I didn't yell, but I was stern with him, and I expressed how upset I was with him while showing him the messages. I expressed to him that I am not sure if I can forgive him or where to go. From then on, he tried to buy me gifts and became more affectionate, but I kept turning him down. It felt awful telling him, "I'm not sure if I can forgive you. Only time can tell," when he consistently asked me if I could forgive him. Right now, he has stopped insisting on forgiveness, but I don't want him to believe that I forgot about the incident. I want to approach him again but I am not sure what to bring up or what plan I can create.
My mother and father's relationship is awful. I know their love for each other died long ago but they seem to have grown in this area of comfort. They've lived together for as long as I've lived. They both discuss parting ways but none are brave enough to commit (my dad doesn't want to let us go; my mother is afraid financially). They argue constantly and their personalities clash. They don't want to heal and they don't want to accept their personality flaws.
I get it. Changing your personality for a person you don't love is hard. Moving out is hard, and my father has expressed to me before (before I knew about cheating) his fear of not being able to see us (kids) if they separate. Money plays a role in this too. My father is the breadwinner and my mother is the homewife. But, my mother isn't afraid to commit to work and to leave. The only thing that stops her is worrying that we (kids) won't grow up properly because of neglect.
Here is my issue: My mother doesn't know and I don't know if I should tell her or accept my family like this. She is an emotional person (nothing wrong with being emotional but she truly is an emotional person). She acts irrationally because of it and I am afraid that my siblings will get the shorter end of the stick. Especially if I go to college. I was fortunate enough to be able to have a supportive family to calculate how much we have to save up over the years but, unlucky to have the timing of things.
If my parents do separate, we'd have to look into housing, and I'm 100% certain my mother wouldn't be afraid to cut off my father completely. It takes time though. Applying for housing and even collecting enough for the deposit. My mother would have to look for a job and I wouldn't want to strain her with college. The dream would be to help my mother out but I am not sure how or what I should do with my dad then.
Last thing, my graduation ceremony is coming up, and I'd hate not to invite my father, but I'd equally hate to pretend like everything is okay. Hugs and everything. I mean to talk to him and sort things out beforehand. I just want some clarity or advice on what to do.
​

32-year-old male finding his way through life, ready to begin the next chapter in life!
☆☆☆☆ 3 Customer Reviews 4 Answered Questions
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Size: 6' / 195lbs Hazel Eyes INFJ
Appearance: https://imgur.com/a/L9Nf9Ej *^{He plans on growing his hair back out 2025}
Only 1 In Stock. Images show minimal wear or tear and may include a lifetime warranty.
The product is exploring the US via Airbnb for the majority of 2024. His exploration has focused on the West Coast, and he currently resides in Boise, Idaho, until June, when he will head to Portland. Future rough draft locations are Seattle, Minneapolis, Chicago, Grand Rapids, New York, Boston, and anywhere in Florida during the "winter" your city here. He is open to adjusting his exploration around to meet.
He has called Maryland home for the last 10 years and is open to permanent relocation after his journeys if he meets the right one or falls in love with a city. He's got his life together and is ready to share it with someone special. Most of his family and friends reside in Central Pennsylvania, and a few stragglers are in the DMV. His twin sister lives down in South Carolina.
Product Description
NotGatling is a down-to-earth, semi-nerdy, sarcastic, witty human with semi-dark humor. It is hard to pinpoint his personality as it can jump from goofy and playful to serious, depending on the event/occasion.
NotGatling's interests and hobbies range from gaming/geek things to exploring nature and cities, whether it's hiking, kayaking, backpacking/camping, or going to pop-up shops/events, concerts, new food places, or museums. When he isn't exploring, he can be usually found gaming or watching his comfort shows(Bobs Burger, Community, Parks N Rec) or watching Hockey. RIP Caps playoff. At least we can watch Ovechkin beat Gretzky's goal, right?! He better. It's going to be a long Capitals rebuild.
Product Information
Education

Level of Education	Year Finished
Bachelors	Network and Cybersecurity
Future Plans	Wants to acquire a Masters or begin a Bachelor program in the science field. sometime after his travels.

Work Experience

Job	Detail
Army	2011 - 2017
IT Engineer / System Administrator	2017 - Current
Dream Job?	Teaching with IT pay. One can dream

Customer Questions & Answers
Question: Why is he trying out the digital nomad lifestyle?
Answer: His work is implementing hybrid work in 2025. He is taking advantage of his last year fully remote to travel. If he relocates somewhere new, he will find another IT job in the new area.
Question: What is he looking for in a potential prospect?
Answer: He is seeking someone who shares his interests. He usually has the best chemistry with people who like to play video games and enjoy exploring nature, cities, or new food spots.
Question: Does he want kids and to have a family?
Answer: He had a vasectomy back in 2022 once Roe vs Wade was overturned. He doesn't want to 100% rule out the possibility of a family but leans heavily towards the DINK life.
Question: What does a breakdown of his day look like?
Answer: He lives the early birdlife lifestyle and finishes work around noon. After work, he can be found exploring a nature spot, going to the gym, or checking out a local attraction. When he isn't out and about, he is usually gaming or researching what's next.
Customer Reviews
☆☆☆☆☆ The best son I've ever had. - A text from Mother
A blessing from god. You're down to earth and never ask for anything in return. You could stop by and visit more often, but I understand you're living your life.
☆☆☆☆☆ Truly an amazing person. - A card from an old Army friend.
Thank you very much for taking this trip with me. I truly appreciate you and all you have done with me and for me since I first met you at WLC 2 years ago. Stay wonderful and beautiful you! Try your best to find joy in everything you do.
☆☆☆ Why don't you visit more often? By the rest of his family.
You live 2 hours away?! Why don't you drive up here every day and visit us?!
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Hey guys! I’m looking for text friends and Facebook messenger friends to talk to. Some of my hobbies include reading, knitting, crochet, smoking and gaming. I’ll keep this short and sweet since I don’t like reading long post lol Have a good day/night feel free to message me!

[Kansas]
I understand that evidence obtained through illegal means is not admissible in court, but I have a "gray area" situation when it comes to how I obtained certain evidence that would be valuable in my divorce proceedings:
I accidentally and unintentionally stumbled upon a loophole that allows me to see the current text messages on my soon-to-be-ex-husband's phone. We still have a joint account for our cell phone plan, and so we both have the login/password. I wanted to sync my own phone's text messages with my own tablet & downloaded the app to do so & logged into our account. However, the app began to sync HIS text messages to my tablet, not MINE.
I literally have a close-to-real-time view into every text conversation he is having, and he has NO idea! Lemme tell you -- his texts are a treasure trove of evidence that directly relates to our divorce negotiations (escorts, drugs, casinos, smear campaigns, theft, ridiculous lies, etc).
Most notable is a text where he openly admits to someone that he is trying to screw me over in the divorce by diverting all his income onto untraceable, reloadable debit cards (instead of to his bank account) -- a dirty trick to lower the appearance of his overall income so he doesn't have to pay any alimony. (He's a true sociopath, abuser, addict, and terrible person.)
I know, I shouldn't have read his messages, but I couldn't help myself. I truly wasn't even trying to snoop on him -- I had no idea our cell phone provider's app would sync his messages instead of mine until now. I did take screenshots of anything relevant to our divorce because if he deletes the texts on his phone, they will disappear for me, too.
I haven't yet told my attorney about my discoveries -- should I be honest with him about how I obtained the info?
Would any evidence I find in these texts be considered "illegally obtained?" Did I break the law somehow, albeit unintentionally, that would make this evidence inadmissible?