Poetry of loseing a love one

My (35M) ex best friend (36M) wants to sit down and talk in person about why we’re no longer friends two years later ahead of our mutual friends wedding in a few months. I haven’t been able to talk about why I walked away until recently. For clarity, I removed them from all of my social media except for WhatsApp and they didn’t reach out after I did so. I’ve written the below to read to them when we meet. Is it too much or should I be completely honest? Names changed for privacy.
“I think for you to understand why I did what I did, I need you to understand where it all started and where it’s all coming from. What I’m about to tell you is from my own point of view and I understand your perception of these situations at the time and now will more than likely differ.
I told you a couple of years ago in passing after having a few drinks that I had had a crush on you. That was putting it mildly. As for a long time I had very strong romantic feelings for you and I would say I had fallen in love with you.
I had developed a crush on you earlier in our friendship and the longer we stayed friends, the more intense my feelings started to develop.
When you went through one of the worst things I think anyone could go through, I thought I could shield you from the hurt you were going through and would continue to go through if I threw my whole being into being there for you, irrespective if you ever would feel the same about me. During this time, I felt our dynamic shift that beyond a friendship. Before you and Taylor broke up, for a series of months I felt you investing yourself emotionally in me and it felt that I had become someone or somewhere for you to have the emotional outlet you no longer had with Taylor. I don’t know and I don’t think this was done consciously by you. I think it was a result of circumstance.
After you and Taylor broke up, I clutched on to the sliver of hope that maybe this would be my time. If I waited, let you move on and continue to be there for you like I had been for so long, that maybe one day you’d turn to me and tell me what I wanted to hear. And then within a few weeks you told me you had started to see Ben. I remember the exact moment you told me so vividly, because for the first time in such a long time, I felt my heart break. A few minutes later I walked out of bar and hid in the car park and cried for as long as I could without raising suspicion as to where I was gone and I slapped my best friend face and personality back on.
Over the following 10 months or so, I felt you push me further and further away. The closeness we once had was starting to fade away. I had to try adapt to what our friendship was now going to be and also try move on from my feelings for you. Our time spent together went from what felt like constant to almost non existent. I also felt like Ben took a dislike to me, this left me apprehensive of being around you together, again this is my perception and may be different to you or Ben even. To be honest, I didn’t want to be around you two together because I didn’t want to have to see Ben get from you what I wanted.
When I started to date Josh it felt like I had started to move on from what I felt for you. You were no longer the person that occupied my mind the most. I started to feel happy again and I felt like I could be your friend, and just your friend. Then Josh ended it with me out of nowhere and I started to fall into a place of hurt and rejection by someone I started to really care about and trying to deal with feeling like that about you. Then a few days later I see on Instagram you had liked his post from two days after he ended things with me. At that time, I wasn’t in a place of full mental clarity and it felt to me that you intentionally did it to hurt me because you misinterpreted an evening where Aidan and I hung out and you thought that we were excluding you. I had thought you were someone that would never intentionally hurt me, and when I saw that, I felt as if you that hurt me more than anyone ever could.
Liking Josh’s post wasn’t the reason I removed you from my life, but it was the final straw for me. For months there were small but frequent instances of where I felt myself being pushed further and further from you. Our friendship had completely changed and I no longer felt valued or needed by you.
I had to step away from our friendship because it was killing me. And I had to decide between you being the Sun I orbited that would eventually burn up my oceans and leave me hollow. Or walking away, silently and without confrontation to find me again.
Walking away from you and the memories of our friendship was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but I had to walk away.
You were probably the best friend I ever had and will probably ever have. I’m happy we had that time together but we’ll never be able to be friends again. I hope this clears up everything for you and I can see now that there was so much more to our friendship ending then what I think either of us thought. “

I recently watched The Taste of Things, an absolutely fantastic French film which highly recommend for all francophiles and/or foodies. It takes place in 1889. The two main characters (Juliette Binoche and Benoît Magimel) are lovers who have worked together for 20 years, he as the owner of a château and she as his head cook and culinary muse. The story is about the food they create intertwined with their love and passion.
One thing that stuck out to me is that they always address each other using “vous,” which surprised me since they’re so familiar and intimate with each other. Is that something that happened in the 1800s? Is it because he’s technically her boss?

Howdy! Just got back from a month hopping cafes in Vietnam so obviously my second hand Sunbeam barista Max isn’t quite cutting it for me anymore, looking for some advice for a new setup to scratch that decent latte itch!
At the moment I’m considering between a breville barista express or bambino plus (idk what grinder to pair) but my concern with the bambino + grinder combo is the ease of use? I’m definitely not one to be weighing out my coffee every morning, I need something easy to use and not super technical. Bonus points if you guys reckon it’s worth looking for second hand ones on marketplace or if that’s just a big risk not worth taking. Unsure if either the grinder or machine is better off brand new etc.
Please feel free to recommend any and everything, my budget would be up to $1000 but I would love to cut costs where I can :)
TIA!

So my ex and I were together for 2 years and everything was great. From the beginning we were almost everyday together and last year we even sort of lived together in his student room. He is a lovely boy who is always positive, brings a light into the room and made me feel the luckiest girl in the world. I had some bad relationships in the past and he was finally the one who loved me and cared for me in a way I would never imagine.
We both were students when we met and lived the typical student life: partying, drinking, going on vacation, etc. I graduated last June and had a job by the end of September. In the summer vacation we both went on a road trip together for 2 weeks and it was amazing. From the moment I started working, the relationship was not so exciting anymore: I came home, cooked dinner, ate together, we watch tv together or he is gaming with the boys and I’m doing my thing and then we went to sleep. My routine after work was boring if I look back at it, but it was new for me too. In the meantime we did some fun things, but not so often like we used to. I was into the adult life and even considered by moving in together and that kinda stuff.
Everything was fine and even the living together stuff was all fine by him too. We never argued (maybe 2-3 times in 2 years) and he always said “yes” or “fine by me” on everything, even if I asked his opinion 10x. So I thought we were still good. Until a couple weeks ago I came home from work and I noticed there was something wrong. I asked him a couple times and finally he said, out of the blue, that he had doubts about our relationship. I freaked out and cried so we couldn’t talk properly. He went home to his parents and the next day he came back to talk. He said he still wanted to be with me but some things had to change, for example my temper (I have a high temper and can get mad for the smallest and dumbest reasons and lately it did occur often that I got mad really fast). I said that I will work on it because it was true, it gotten worse and it wasn’t pleasant for the both of us, but he had to work on his communication as well. His doubts came for me out of nowhere because he never communicated with me about things that bothered him.
Our relationship went forward and I worked on myself and so did he. I thought it went good until 2 weeks laters the same conversation came up. He said he still have doubts about the relationship. I asked him why and what he wanted to do about it to fix it but everytime I got the answer “I don’t know”. So I suggested that we move on like we did but saw eachother less (like leave 2-3 days in between). So, then we did that because he agreed with the options I gave him to try and work things out.
Again everything went well. Couple weeks ago he was in his student room and I was at home by my parents. I noticed he wasn’t online on any social media and haven’t send me a message in 2 hours or so. Because of my past I panicked and spammed him with messages and phone calls asking what he is doing and where he is. I did this a couple of times and he got mad for my behaviour. After that, I came back to reality and realised that my behaviour is not healthy and apologised. He eventually calmed down too and said it’s okay and I love you. Later that week, we met up and he said “I think we shouldn’t see eachother for a time” and I broke down. The next day he deleted all my pictures on Instagram and removed me from the family groupchat so I was confused because this seems like a breakup instead of a break/pause. He came over and would only say “I made the decision so I stand by it”. So it was done.
Couple days later I went to his student room, where we ‘lived together’ to get my stuff. I made him a long letter which I read for him to say thankyou. After that he comforted me and we cuddled really long. We constantly kept eye contact and he admitted that he still loves me, felt butterflies in his stomach, felt happy, etc. I felt that he really had a hard time of keeping his hands of me and letting me go. At the end, we gave eachother a big goodbye kiss and it was magical. Despite all that, he still says he couldn’t be with me. He also said “maybe in the future” and “not right know” and that kinda stuff. I suggested that we go no contact for 2-3 weeks and then meet up again to see if his feelings have changed.
It’s been 2 weeks and he asked to meet up this tuesday. I want to feel hopeful, but in the meantime he deleted me on Snapchat last tuesday and unfollowed me on Instagram the same evening he asked me to meet up, which was last friday.
I have the feeling he is running away from his true feelings and is scared to get back because he thinks things will get better for 2 weeks and then the same conversation will end up. I am convinced we needed this because now I can truly see what behaviour from me is wrong and I need to get help to fix that for me. I already took the step to go to a psychologist. But he is stubborn and is convinced that it won’t work anymore.
I don’t know what else to do or say to him to get him back. I really love him and he is the man I see a future with. He does get the best out of me and supports me in things to make myself happy. I really think that if we gave this another chance it can work and we can get better out of this if we both work on our communication. How can I convince him that it can work between us and he doesn’t have to run away from his feelings? What do I do or say to him this tuesday? Is there a chance for us? I want my sweet boy back…

First off, feel free to comment about your own experiences. I would love it if anybody can relate. I'm also open to questions, advice, whatever you wanna write. This is gonna be a bit longer, just fyi. Excuse lack of proper chronological order and maybe some wonky sentences, English isn't my first language.
I was parentified.
For context, my mother has three children, I'm the youngest one, then there's my older half-brother (30) and my older half-sister (36). Their father was a violent alcoholic with schizophrenic tendencies (official diagnosis), luckily I never met him. I refer to them as brother and sister. I'm 21 now. I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, my dad has three other kids who are in the same age group as my maternal siblings. Lots of history with divorces and family fights, I'm the center of a complete patchwork family, everybody moved towns a lot, it's all a bit messy and disorganized.
My mother has severe borderline disorder and has massive trauma from several age stages, especially involving men. She was heavily parentified and yet socially cast out by her family herself. I don't remember a time where I didn't act like her father, emotionally. This is made worse by the fact that I'm trans so I was like her bestie before I began socially transitioning in my early teen years. Of course, this was a massive issue for her. She told me she had only ever wanted daughters. Materially she was taking care of things until I was about 11 - walked me to school and took care of the household, used to work, everything.
I remember sitting next to her during a talk/fight she had with my dad while she was sobbing, I can't have been older than 3 or 4. They got divorced around that time. As I grew older, I came to be my mom's sole emotional support person. We had moved to an isolated village with my step-father and she developed a severe agoraphobia for some time. My step-father avoided all emotionality with both her and me and therefore I was now her only friend. I overheard conversations that she shouldn't be having with her child next door and was told about her most severe fears and traumas from a young age. I was lashed out at on a near daily basis and punishment came unexpectedly. It would consist of being screamed at for minutes on end until I would cry and hyperventilate, but she wouldn't stop then.
In spite of her idea of punishment and raising children, she was incredibly attached to me, still is. This would include massive anxiety fits when she didn't know where I was or when I was getting into activities she didn't approve of. One time, when I was about 17, I went to a party in my friend's basement. She knew about this and approved it, knew my friends and where they lived. I didn't have any signal in that basenent so she couldn't reach me. She proceeded to look up my other friends' parents' phone number and call them to contact me. There was nothing she wanted except to know that I had arrived there.
Whereas my other siblings had long left the household years apart from eachother, both with specific and complex fights and banging doors and screaming fits, I was, as the youngest child, turned into a confessional and a therapist. I would mediate fights from a young age. I witnessed physical violence between my brother, my mother and my sister. My brother was the perpetrator for the most part (however, I was neither hurt nor threatened myself). Nobody proceeded to remove me from the situation or stop me from getting involved. From then on, every fight and every drama caused me intense bouts of anxiety and it, to this day, remains to be the only thing that makes me cry and/or lash out.
In a household full of anger, my anger was not tolerated. I was raised with some old-timey sort of black paedagogy (I'm German so it is something of a generational curse for some): I was to have unwavering respect for my parents, I was expected to be obedient, "let him cry it out" type stuff. At least when I was a younger child. When I got older, my emotions did not matter either. After stressful situations or fights that I proceeded to witness for most of my life, nobody ever asked me how I felt or explained to me what had actually gone down. I was left alone while not being left alone at all.
If I failed to provide emotional security for my mother or even attempted to call her out, I was made to feel immensely guilty. This could range from her crying/yelling things like "Why is it always me that must suffer" to guilt-tripping texts and blocking my contact for a while to very action-based suicide threats, depending on the situation. Her emotions were forced to be my emotions if I wanted to "stay alive".
At the same time, I still proceeded to excel in school. I felt like dying but nobody, and I tell you, nobody, noticed. I was a teacher's pet, I still had some loose friendships, I visited my dad once a month or more ever since my parents divorced. Nobody realized what I felt. I felt alone and had the worst depressive episode of my life when I was 13. I neglected personal hygiene. I never opened up to my father for many years. To this day I think he doesn't know everything. Especially during covid, him and my ex-stepmother were my safe space. When I first opened up to them, they welcomed me with open arms, my father was very strict and cold when I was young, but he softened, changed, and is everything and more I could ask for in a father. He is among the most positive examples of masculinity and especially of fatherhood that I know in my circles. He sends me postcards several times a month, wants me to visit, hugs me and tells me he loves me and that he's proud, gives me space. The dad who remembers the names of our childhood stuffed animals. Literally. I love him to death. He was also the only parent who engaged in activities with me and would play with me, later on take me to the movies, go to bars and restaurants, go to museums with me etc.
My mother got worse both psychologically and physically, she is chronically ill and needs immense support in a lot of things now. For about a year, my stepfather worked in a town far away and only came home during the weekends. This was during covid. Within a year, I developed a hatred so deep for my mother that I had thoughts that scared me. I took care of our pets and the household, was not allowed to get into any activities after school other than coming home and spent hours after my day listening to her rants, anxieties, fears. I get hateful goosebumps when I remember the way she used to call my name when she wanted me to do something for her. Sometimes she would make me stay awake for longer, knowing that I had to get up at 6am again. It was usually already around 12 at night. She wanted me to walk the dog before SHE went to bed because otherwise it would ruin her otherwise horribly insomniac circadian rhythm. Therefore I was not allowed to go to sleep. At that point she had not worked for more than 6 years and stayed home all the time. My stepfather and I did grocery shopping. She rarely ever leaves the house if she can avoid it. This was during the German version of my GCSE's.
I was denied medical care that could have potentially fixed my posture issues and other orthopedic issues. My mother deemed physiotherapy as inefficient and got mad when I asked her about it again. Money was always an issue. We were evicted once. I was denied certain things and never asked for extra cash because we ran low on money, my stepfather was blamed for smoking and consuming a lot of meat (which indeed is pricy), but my mother never reflected on her online shopping addiction and I'm aware that she is in an ongoing debt. Has been for years now.
Things got a bit better when my stepfather moved back and Covid cleared up somewhat. Regardless, I used pure spite to continue studying hard while they were yelling at eachother from the top of their lungs for hours on end and did the best I could to get the hell out of there. I've had therapy with several years' of breaks for a total of nearly 3 years now, that I partially applied for myself and I'm working on tackling everything. I live in a different city, studying subjects that I love. I get all my shit done, for the most part, I know how to do paperwork and know how all of the chores work. I can regulate myself in terms of sleep and food and cheap thrills. I have a (milder) case of anxiety. I keep meaningful friendships in which I find myself capable of avoiding all the harmful behaviors and attitudes I was taught. I'm learning to stand my ground and take responsibility for my own decisions and actions.
When I establish my boundaries with her now, she turns into some sort of anxious-attached mess. She over-apologizes to me. She puts me on a pedestal and I'm living a life that she is jealous of. She is intensely attached to me and considers me her favorite child and also hasn't properly gotten over my father, over 15 years of them being divorced. She will do anything to support me materially and then tear me down emotionally. Everything I tell her is followed by her mourning the life she doesn't have and never had instead of properly celebrating with me. She gets noticeably sad when I refuse to give her my full attention, she yearns for what she considered a deep and important relationship to me. But it was all just emotional neglect and emotional abuse. Now I sometimes can't help but meet her with the same attitude she gave me.
This is not perfectly chronological and all over the place. I have complicated relationships with my siblings and other relatives, which I don't mourn, but feel guilty about. My father and I are very good with eachother although I need to confront him about some things as well. With my mother I do the bare minimum to avoid conflict, yet without throwing my sense of self out of the window again. She is the only human who can easily cause anxiety attacks in me, no matter where or when. I sometimes wish I was not in contact with her. I have a tendency for smoking too much weed and being just a bit too careless with other drugs (although I rarely do those in comparison), but I also try and regulate this heavily (e.g. not finding a dealer but asking friends every once in a while etcetc). I think this stems from these experiences. Apart from that, I think I'm coping very well.
To everybody: it does get better. It does. Even when your emotions are a rollercoaster sometimes. You will be in a different place, maybe you already are, and you'll escape from these structures. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I create my own reality and that nobody will give me my stolen childhood back. I am an (albeit young) adult now and I must do everything I can to avoid becoming like her. Her life is not a life I want to lead. There's hope and you won't always be in this place.

Hey there! I'm Sean, a 33-year-old from America's armpit, New Jersey. When I'm not working at an oncology office, you can find me indulging in my passions: binge-watching movies and TV shows, writing, gaming, collecting memorabilia, and cheering on my favorite sports teams.(Fly Eagles Fly. Let's Go Phillies) I'm a Jedi Knight by day, a nighttime vigilante by night, and a Pokemon Master in between. If you get that reference, we’re already off to a good start!
Closer to New Jersey, the better, but I'll accept messages from anywhere!
My friends would describe me as quiet yet empathetic, a smart ass but kind and gentle, with an open-minded outlook on life. I believe in being true to oneself and enjoying the little things – like a good laugh over a classic Seinfeld episode (these pretzels are making me thirsty!).
What I’m Looking For: I’m on the lookout for a partner who is take-charge, confident, and not afraid to be vocal. Geeky quirks are a big plus! I admire someone who has no issues telling the server, "He said no pickles!" Ages between 25-40 is preferred.
Fun Facts: I’m the 40th grandchild on my mom's side and the 10th on my dad's side. I've traveled to Germany, France, Switzerland, Ireland and Bermuda. I would love to do more travel in the future (like visiting every MLB ball park!) I used to work in retail for seven years in customer service. In college, I hosted my own sports radio show.
Favorite Quotes: "The force will be with you, always." "It's not a lie, if you believe it." "Warrior? Wars make not one great." "Do, or do not. There is no try." "Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"
If any of this resonates with you, let’s connect and see where the force takes us!

I've been struggling since my ex dumped me (about 18 months ago). I can't shake the feeling that I'm the worst person in the world, and that being dumped proves what we've known all along: I"M UNLOVEABLE.
All this time I've been thinking that I've been having a hard time getting over the breakup/him, and to some extent I have. Today though I'm thinking that getting dumped triggered my old icky feelings about myself, seeminlgly with proof from him that I am, in fact, terrible, unworthy and just a bad person. No one loves me and once they get to know me they CLEARLY will not want to be in a relationship with me. Because now I have the receipts from a person, and receipts don't lie, right?
I'm looking for a new therapist but wanted to put it here, who knows, maybe somebody else struggles with breakups too without realizing how connected they are to old stuff, especially for trauma survivors.
I'm glad I tried to date but I'm not glad that I didn't have a good therapist throughout the process, and a good sense of my own boundaries/needs before I did it. And I'm not glad that I didn't do more to take care of myself throughout the process & ensure a trauma-informed relationship.
I'm kind of rambling, in a bit of a mental health spiral today, but it feels good to realize that it's not all about HIM, that it is the old stuff and not just one guy messing with my mental health this much.

I am 30f and live alone, never had a real relationship, addicted to masturbation and fantasy, obese, mentally and chronically ill, and autistic. I struggle making ends meet and have a dead-end job in customer service. I want to better myself but because of my chronic autoimmune issues I never feel well enough to balance both work and school because working full time takes so much out of me. I sleep in until it is time to roll out of bed and get read for work. I have no energy or drive to do anything for myself. All I do is jerk off and think about sex and wish I was married.
My family is mad at me. Men are repulsed by me. I can't make friends or keep them. Yes, I am in counselling and have a long way to go before I can be a person who people want to get to know. But right now I feel like the most worthless piece of excrement. I go on Facebook and see all my old friends and acquittances sharing pregnancy announcements, engagement pictures, wedding photos, baby bump photos, sonogram pictures and feel the most painful jealousy knowing that will never be me because I am not likeable.
There is something about me that turns people off, both men and women. I can sit in a group full of people talking and no one ever engages me or looks at me. When I try to speak up or throw something in the conversation people ignore me or act like they didn't hear me. I feel invisible among people and it is the most painful feeling. I don't know what it is about me but people just don't respond well to me. I think it is my anti-social personality, but what they don't know is I am anti-social for a reason because I have been hurt by people very much in the past and don't want to be hurt again.
I was sexually harassed by a professional last year and threatened to take my review down of the BBB or else they would take me to court and sue me for libel. They did not believe my story and I never felt so invalidated and violated in my life. Men are attracted to me at first and want "me", but that is about it. No one wants to love me or know me. I could go to any bar in town and find someone to sleep with tonight--but that is where it ends. I feel empty and like a husk people just use or want to play with to suit their needs. It makes me feel absolutely worthless.
I am obese and use food to escape from loneliness. It is the only comfort I have.
I can't afford the things I need. I can't drive and never got my driver's license due to illness in the family after I get my permit and never had anyone who had time to teach me. I can't afford to see the endocrinologist which I have been needing to for a long time for my pituitary tumor that I was diagnosed with in 2015. I have not been on medication for it in years and it's probably grown and my periods are extremely heavy and I am growing facial hair now (which makes me feel disgusting and unfeminine). I haven't been to the dentist in years and went this year after I got my tax refund and found out I need over $10,000 in dental work my workplace insurance can't cover. So I have teeth rotting out of my head and a tumor in my head that is wrecking havoc on my hormones.
I feel like a waste of space and life. There are children dying of cancer who deserve the air I am breathing more. There are mothers who have children who deserve the air I am breathing more. There are people who have purpose and lives to lead who deserve the air I am breathing more. I ask myself, why did God create someone like me if He knew this is all I would ever amount to be? I am sure even He is repulsed by me as well.
I feel dirty, cast out, unwanted, disgusting, un-likeable and useless. I feel like at this point I am just waiting to die. The only thing that is keeping me wanting to stay is my cat who depends on me.

I’ve been considering working with Duke Dantalion for a very long time. I’m at a turning point in life in a number of ways so I decided to go for it.
So first of all, Duke Dantalion is funny! He has a sense of humor for sure! He didn’t like the strawberries I brought him as an offering but I promised something better next time. He loved the jasmine perfume I wore for him, though!
He also tells you like it is. One of the things I asked his assistance in is getting a new job (my current contact expires soon). He made it known that I do not need his help getting a new job - I can do this on my own. That was a teaching moment, in a way. He is telling me to trust my own efforts and abilities.
My other ask - about a specific love situation - he seemed very happy to help with, though!
Has anyone experienced becoming very warm in his presence? My house is very cold and I was sitting on the floor in almost no clothes (just a pretty robe) and I felt like I was in a sauna during the whole ritual. I also felt a pressure in my head (like where you get a headache between the eyes).
Anyhow, it was a very calming experience to work with him. I had a conversation with him like I would a trusted friend, and explained that I felt drawn to him (I, too, am a scholar, so I hope he felt an affinity with me).
I look forward to more experiences.
Ave Duke Dantalion!

Hi everyone,
I’m seeking advice regarding my two-year relationship. My girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) have been living together for about a year now, and I’m facing some recurring issues that are starting to affect our relationship.
Since the beginning, she’s been somewhat of a messy person. I’ve been fine with this and have been working with her to build better habits around keeping our place tidy. However, every time I ask her to pick something up, clean, or go through her things, she says she was already planning to do it, or she will do it later, but she never actually follows through. Whenever I bring it up again, she either says she forgets, mentions having a bad day, or just doesn’t acknowledge it.
Additionally, there are situations where she asks me to do things, like get her ice cream from downstairs while we’re both already upstairs. I always do it for her, but if I ever ask her, she says she’ll do it in a minute and then never does or just says “but I’m so comfy” or something along those lines. If I don’t want to get something for her, she gets in a mood, and it’s clear she’s upset with me.
One specific instance that really frustrated me was when she offered to clean but then completely forgot about it. She ended up going to Target, spending $150 on Legos, and spent the entire day playing with the Legos without cleaning at all.
She also makes commitments about cutting back on getting coffee or shopping, but whenever she has the opportunity, she immediately does it without any second thoughts, often spending way too much money. This is especially frustrating because we’re planning on moving out, looking at getting new cars, and managing our finances is crucial.
I understand she has mental health issues that contribute to this behavior, but it’s getting to the point where it’s just like, come on, dude. I am having issues with feeling loved, appreciated, or respected because of these issues. The mess really messes with my mental health, and I’ve expressed that to her. I do so much for her, but I get little in return, and it’s really starting to mess with me. Her not keeping up with commitments like cutting back on coffee and shopping is also starting to affect my trust. If she can so easily go back on something she promises to do, what else might she break her promises on?
If she were to show that she’s working on her cleaning and tidiness, I would feel more loved, appreciated, and respected. Her bad habits are rubbing off on me because I’m trying really hard to keep up with her, but it’s so mentally draining that I just can’t do it anymore.
I don’t know if I’m justified in feeling this way. I want to know if I’m overreacting or if I say anything, will I be the asshole for bringing it up?
So, AITA for feeling this way and wanting her to change her habits?

I met a guy long time ago. We talked a lot recently and i started to like him. I didn’t think he liked me at all because his attitude never showed that it was more of a friend-like but he was nice in general.
After a while, he confessed to me that he likes me, and he was very nice and the interest seemed clear and he said that he wants to know me more and get engaged.
We remained like this for not long, but he began to be noticeably late in responding. Sometimes he would see messages and not respond at all, or he would ignore some of them and reply to others In general, i was being”lovely” etc and he wasn’t matching my energy or giving me the same feelings.
I talked to him about the matter and he said at first that he didn’t want to get attached to me since we still never met and that he meant to do that (ignoring to be nice or show that he was interested in me, or to even match my energy etc) and i felt completely rejected at that time, but after all i understood his reason.
He said that he would try to be more open and share the same feelings with me (of his own free will ofc, not because i asked for it and he was the one who said that), and indeed he became very nice.
Now he seems uninterested again, and i tried to understand that because he spends too many hours working and doesn’t have enough time to really care (I’m trying to give all the excuses because i don’t understand why he does that)..
I asked him again if he feels like he’s not interested anymore and that when he got to know me better, he felt like he doesn’t still like me, but he he said that he still likes me, but he sees that he has more important things to do or to care about than putting a reaction on a picture that i sent him, or on a message (I felt abit insulted and not respected at that time and that i’m not important to him and what i feel doesn’t matter) but I tried to understand that too and it passed..
He said that he doesn’t like chatting and told me not to judge him now until we meet several times, and the decide who he truly is , his words were somewhat logical.
I don’t know if he’s trying to push me away , or if he really doesn’t like texting( but it’s our only way now) , or if he’s busy and stressed because of his work. I don’t know what to do and can’t understand his attitude and i won’t ask him again cause it’ll be the third time and yk, feels like disrespecting myself.
Should i step back? ,what should i do because i don’t want to feel like i’m forcing myself on him, or maybe it’s signs of rejection and i’m stupid, but he said that he still likes me, anyone tell me what to do, am i expecting too much?

I’m in a British school year 9 and I am actually so annoyed that I’m not popular in my school, I see all these Snapchat stories of all these girls in my school at the beach, group of 8, absolutely gorgeous(there’s always a token ugly one) all wearing bikinis,doing balloons,drinking,out with boys/boyfriends just everything I wish I was doing with them, I’m in a group of four girls 13-14 we’re not necessarily the weird people but were definitely not popular so pretty much in the middle, they’re great friends I guess just I wish they wanted to all do the stuff I wanna do, Millie’s a maned(Scouse slang for masculine girl if it wasn’t clear)Heidi’s a little shy she’ll drink but she won’t do drugs or smoke which I respect, and the last one my best friend poppie who was very popular in that group about two years ago but has since gone a little emo? Gothy? Idk but I love these girls to bits I’m not pointing blame at them for just being themselves just sometimes I wish I had friends that wanted to do stuff like that

I grew up loving Peanuts – an affection that has continued into my 50s – but there’s one strip I remember, whose location (if it even exists) eludes me, and it’s been driving me crazy.
As far as I recall, it goes something like this:
Charlie Brown and Lucy (or possibly Linus) are leaning on a wall, musing on the meaning of life.
Lucy/Linus: Do you ever stop to think how we might be missing out on great moments? Like, right now, a great moment just went by and we’ll never get it back.
Charlie Brown (after a pause as he takes this in): Good grief, you’re a lot of fun to be around!
I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve just completely imagined this. Even so, the sentiment made an impression on me that has remained for around 40 years, so hoping there’s some basis for it buried somewhere in the Peanuts archives.
Can anyone help??

I've been running Plex on a Windows towers for years and it's showing its age. It has a 4th (yes, 4th) Gen i7 with 8GB of RAM.
The tower is also huge. Media is stored on external HDDs. To keep storage managed, none of my media is higher than 1080p.
Starting to shop for a new system. I'd really love to be able to use one of those little mini PCs. Will it be able to manage 3-4 streams of 1080p or less? Have fiber in the new house, so throughput isn't a problem.
What am I missing? Is this really a good solution?

So my wife plays too… and she somehow got roped into doing the national guard armory for one of the greenhouse settlements. After discovering she was way too low level to hack the area (level 10, garbage armor and weapons) I convinced her to try stuff “closer to home” as it were to build levels and loot. So she fast travels to drumlin diner thinking to sell some of her crap and upgrade some stuff. She shows up and gets ambushed by the enclave?!! Literal hellfire power armor guy and combat armor guy with a plasma weapon. The game tries to shove this on us for three reloads before it finally eases up.
Anybody else getting bushwhacked but the enclave at low levels? Seems kinda crappy to me… I’m not saying I wouldn’t love to win one of those fights for the early edge that stuff would give you.

There's a lot of people who already had many or at least some more successful videos but now struggle to get a fair amount of views. As a creator myself, with almost 10M followers on tiktok via my main channel googlemapsfun, I frequently experience ups- and downs in my views. Especially because I have a theme-related page and not a personal prominence, my views depend a lot on the individual quality of my videos. However, I have always managed to go viral again regardless of what people have been saying.
So first, let's identify the potential causes of unusually low views:
The causes & individual solutions
I don't want to be one of those "prolly your content sucks" people, even though it might by true for many people, but a lot of times it's something different. And secondly, sometimes content seems bad for some people, but a sekect few might love it. If the videos have low views because of this, let's just say your niche is too small and the videos are just not a fit for a wider mass.
Besides, I believe we shouldn't just compare a person who genuinely doesn't have the ability to create engaging content with someone who just uses outdated trends for examples. So there have to be some nuances to it. However, in 99% of cases where tiktok isn't actively supressing your views, in some way or the other, your content strategy has to be changed. But in order to know what to do, figure out which of the following causes fits to you most:
Option 1: Your content has not gotten better or worse, but your target group has moved on, as you failed to gain a personal connection to them or advance your content to stay ahead of your competition. They have enjoyed your content in the past, but now it has lost relevance and interest, as they tend to watch other content that is more fresh. Perhaps they have even forgotten why they followed you at all in the first place, especially if you are a one hit wonder. Think about where they might have moved on to, and how to stay relevant for them. Can the content you are posting right now be a long term theme? There is also a possibility that you have a very weird target group that does not exist in its current form anymore, for example if you provided an entertaining video to a news topic that is not relevant anymore. Then, you are more or less at the same point you were before having success at all.
Option 2: Your target group is somewhere else, but they are just sick of your content. Maybe you used the same trend or content style for a longer time, and failed to notice that the sound you used is slightly overused, your videos become repetitive and new trends arise that you failed to notice. There is also a possibility that your competition just got ahead of you, while your videos are just as good as ever. But if you have consistently managed to gain success with a clear video structure, there is always a potential for a similar format to work again, in case you manage to identify the fundamental and distinctive aspects of it. In the meantime, try a few new content formats while you try to improve your existing video format and modernize it, maybe bring some new trends and fresh ideas into it. A lot of times, your old formats will work again in some way or another, and only in some cases you will really need to change your content fully.
Option 3: You are blind to the reasons that made you go viral. Maybe, you do not know your niche or target group. And interesting enough, your target group is still there and maybe even interested in your videos - if you just knew what is the Factor X that made them like your videos, that made a wider mass like your videos and not only a small niche. Maybe you are trying to hard and lost your authenticy on the way - there is a lot of possible further reasons. It takes skill to find out the important aspects in your video formats. Only good analysis skills, as well as trial and error will get you to that point. So keep trying and improving your content! Some might have been experiencing more views in their first videos ever posted, but then fell off. This is very common however, as tiktok tests your videos more in the beginning to find out which is your best target group.
Of course, you can always give tiktok the fault for knowingly restricting your account or something, but I would never expect that. I hoped this helped you, but at the same time I couldn't really get very specific here as there are a lot of different cases.
If you need individual 1:1 advice, feel free to DM me. Else, leave a comment especially if you think I forgot some causes. AMA in the comments aswell! Hope you'all have a nice day :)

I deleted the app like 2 weeks ago, cuz I got tired of it. They kept changing lessons/structure and Duolingo seemed to be having too many technical issues for me the last few weeks. Also, I got adhd so lost interest in that fixation, and now onto the next app, right now its Homescapes.
ANYWAYS.
Since I'm done with Duolingo, I'd thought I share how I was able to get 30k in a day, more than 100k in a week. Since I see a lot of posts of people asking how people get big numbers & how is it possible.
Had an almost 100 days streak. Every single league I did (think it was 14) I was #1. I got over 1mill xps in less than like 70 days.
I have issues, yes.
First thing,

• You have to have the SUPER subscription. You need unlimited lives, when you go fast through the lessons, you mess up quite a bit.
• Def took some HOURS per day, average of 5hrs. (I was laid-off/unemployed the whole time) (still am)
• About $10 buying gems to extend my double xp time (Per League). So basically I always did 30 minute sessions of double points ATLEAST. That was between 2.7k-3k xps for me.
• Repeating the easy Unit 1 (rapid reviews) tasks that give you more than 80xp each time (Match Madness gives you 120xp). I finished each lesson in like 45 seconds average.
• 2 free morning/night chests you open. That for me was a guaranteed of atleast 5.5k for me for the day.
• I could get through the 6 lessons in less than 10 minutes, so I can get the 15 minute double xp, which means that would get me 30 minutes of Double xps.
• Always did at least the 3rd Quest of the day FOR SURE cuz thats the chest with the double xps. Another guaranteed 30 minutes.
• Doing friends quests helped, cuz I would get free 30 minute double xp points when completed most times.
• I did ALL the legendaries, cuz that was an easy 80xp per lesson too.
• ADHD (hyperfocus is a superpower)

Reflexion: I actually DID learn a lot during the past couple of months, contrary to popular belief. I believe I learned over 1500 new Italian works, not too bad. Also, the leagues motivated me to actually do my lessons. First couple of days, I did lose interest fast, but what kept me coming back was trying to get the #1 spot. And even though I did a lot of repetitive lessons, it also did forced me to complete the new lessons ( 3-6 at a time) to get me those double xp points.And yes, I know these strategies make people talk shiz that we are ruining it and it's not about winning, but I mean if solely learning is important to you, you have the option to go Private, and not be on the boards. Anyways, Maybe I will return one day again, to get my crown back. But for now, i'm goooood.
I think that's it, I'd like to hear some of your tricks if I missed some.

Hi, resident GM here. Been doing research into a lot of non-D&D TTRPGs because D&D has really burnt me out. I fell in love with PbtA games especially Dungeon World. Great system, great mechanics, leaves so much room for player interaction and communal world development in such a cool way. Showed it to my players and they've been loving it, and we've mainly played that for a while now. The problem is that one of my players loves D&D. And I get it, it was the first system I really liked and I understand why he as a player wants to go back to it. The problem is that I feel like I can't really go back into a full-on D&D campaign. I even tried to plan one out a bit, just for fun, but couldn't help but think of how much more into it I'd be if I was playing Dungeon World or another RPG. Any advice?

Hi peoples of indeterminant origins. I am looking for people of age 30 and up to hang out with. im currently waiting for either blue protocol or throne and liberty to come out so i have an mmo to play again, even tho several of my hanging out friends stick to ff14 XD. i just cant do old mmos any more so here i am waiting for new ones. currently im here to just find people to hang out with mostly on discord. i do also have a game night on fridays where i try to grab people to play board games online and jack box games. i also would love to find people to play modded minecraft to start a minecraft server with. if any of this sounds interesting or just want to see whast all the yellings about send me a pm on reddit here or reply to this post or send an instant messege using reddits thingy and ill get to you with my id :)

I am three weeks post break-up from a man I have come to believe is a narcissist. Long story short, he left me after two years. He slipped back into full blown alcoholism (we both value recovery, or so I thought) and the verbal abuse increased. He has been unable to take accountability at all and has even continued to try to hurt me through the break-up (more verbal abuse and pics/videos of him being intimate with the girl he started seeing a week after we broke-up).
I've obviously been struggling. I'm doing everything in my power to be healthy and re-enegage in self care after neglecting my needs for a long time. One of my biggest coping mechanisms is research and I found this article when reading about ADHD and Narcissistic Abuse. I'll leave the link below, but here are some points that stood out to me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

• People with ADHD are often vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation, and they may find themselves trapped in a cycle of abuse and codependency.
  
• In addition, people with ADHD may be less likely to recognise the warning signs of a toxic relationship, as their impulsiveness and distractibility can make it difficult for them to see the long-term consequences of their actions.
  
• In a narcissistic relationship, the narcissistic partner may use the memory difficulties of their ADHD partner to their advantage by gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser tries to make the other person question their own memory, perception, or sanity.
  

https://www.spiescoaching.co.uk/blog/w9x1pdbrnu5aahioh7cdmfadn01ueh#:~:text=People%20with%20ADHD%20are%20often%20drawn%20to%20narcissistic%20individuals%20in,to%20emotional%20abuse%20and%20exploitation

Hey there! I'm Sean, a 33-year-old from America's armpit, New Jersey. When I'm not working at an oncology office, you can find me indulging in my passions: binge-watching movies and TV shows, writing, gaming, collecting memorabilia, and cheering on my favorite sports teams.(Fly Eagles Fly. Let's Go Phillies) I'm a Jedi Knight by day, a nighttime vigilante by night, and a Pokemon Master in between. If you get that reference, we’re already off to a good start!
Closer to New Jersey, the better, but I'll accept messages from anywhere!
My friends would describe me as quiet yet empathetic, a smart ass but kind and gentle, with an open-minded outlook on life. I believe in being true to oneself and enjoying the little things – like a good laugh over a classic Seinfeld episode (these pretzels are making me thirsty!).
What I’m Looking For: I’m on the lookout for a partner who is take-charge, confident, and not afraid to be vocal. Geeky quirks are a big plus! I admire someone who has no issues telling the server, "He said no pickles!" Ages between 25-40 is preferred.
Fun Facts: I’m the 40th grandchild on my mom's side and the 10th on my dad's side. I've traveled to Germany, France, Switzerland, Ireland and Bermuda. I would love to do more travel in the future (like visiting every MLB ball park!) I used to work in retail for seven years in customer service. In college, I hosted my own sports radio show.
Favorite Quotes: "The force will be with you, always." "It's not a lie, if you believe it." "Warrior? Wars make not one great." "Do, or do not. There is no try." "Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"
If any of this resonates with you, let’s connect and see where the force takes us!

Hey everyone, does anyone want to talk while I do some cooking tonight? Just some friendly conversation with another possibly ND person (I'm autistic) around my age who likes to info dump and go on and on about the things they are passionate about?
Lately I've found myself without many friends. Some of it's my fault, some of it isn't. Life hit me hard and I fell into a deep depressive episode and not everyone was good for my health you know? I was the therapist friend that no one was willing to help. So, now I'm lonely despite being mentally better haha. I'll leave some info about me, and if you decide I'm interesting enough I can't wait to hear from you.
I'm a big nerd, love horror anything so if you do too that'd be nice. Who doesn't like bitching about bad horror movies. Also I am very left politically and hold my views staunchly. I'm a gamer of course, and play lots of different things. Right now I'm hooked on Dragon Quest Builders 2. I used to be a musician, happy to tell you about that. Have chronic health issues, and I'm a spoonie. IFYKYK. Trying to exercise and treat my body better. To build strength, not too worried about the dad bod haha. Anyways, if you're interested message me your asl and a fruit, with some tidbits about yourself. Chats are preferred, and I won't respond to empty profiles.