Would like to preface that I am in the process of trying to get a referral for a POTS dx, though I’m extremely curious on outside opinion for how my past while has been for peace of mind and/or advice. 🥲
Lately, I’ve been struggling with being able to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time (with LONG recovery periods needed after), my legs feel weak and wobbly when I try to walk, and heavy at rest. There’s a consistent heavy squeezing pressure in my chest and head with any movement, whether that’s walking or moving from a laying to sitting or sitting to standing position, and a shortness of breath at rest. This is all really new and kind of terrifying to me to navigate, I’d love advice for coping in the interim while in the waiting period if this sounds familiar!
I’m very used to that feeling of losing my vision briefly if I stand or move too quickly, and loss of feeling in my hands or feet, or temperature disregulation, but my anxiety hasn’t been able to handle these new developments.

Just as a quick disclaimer before I get into this exercise, Ronald Reagan is one of the most controversial and debated US presidents in political/historical discussions for his actions that impact the state of current day America. I'm a person in their twenties so I have my own biases that determines how I see these topics, but nonetheless I'll try my best to see both sides on a lot of these issues. If there's something that you feel that is misrepresented, incorrect, or flat-out missed I encourage you to say so in the comments. Just be respectful towards one another

Reagan Pros

- Communication Ability - When discussing the greatest orators to ever be president in US history, Ronald Reagan typically gets listed as being one of the top due to his speech delivery style and charismatic public persona. This isn't a statement that suggests that I necessarily agree with his rhetoric or politics, but I personally see him as the most effective speaker of all time. In the short term he provided an impression of strong leadership that enabled many Americans to trust the government again after a period low confidence for over a decade. In the long term, Reagan truly exemplified how the skill of communication can build a huge part of a modern president's reputation and legacy. For all time great speeches check out the 1987 Brandenburg Gate Address, or his statement following the Challenger disaster in 1986. The last point that I want to mention is that he had greater interpersonal skills than someone like J. Carter which made him a much more popular, effective, and transformative politician when working with the opposing political interests. Several bipartisan reforms were accomplished in large part due to his political acumen
- Contributions to the end of the Cold War - Following the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979, Cold War tensions were reinvigorated between the USA and USSR which effectively birthed a coalition led by RR who wanted to reverse previous efforts from the US government to limit the amount of nuclear weapons in its arsenal through SALT. Reagan also came into office as a hardliner strict on communism who later referred to the Soviet Union as an "evil empire", and indicated that much of government spending would be directed towards defense ($144 billion in 1980 to $322 billion by 1989). As such, funding for nuclear weapons technology sharply increased for new missiles and defense systems. The most notable new development in this period here was the Strategic Defense Initiative (derisively known as "Star Wars") that was a project to detect & protect the US against potential nuclear missile attacks. Critics noted that SDI was technologically infeasible, too expensive, and it would be dissolved by 1993; nonetheless the military spending applied pressure as leverage for the Soviet Union to sign nuclear disarmament treaties that would be key towards reducing tensions onto the end of the Cold War
Now I'm of the opinion that the collapse of the Soviet Union had more to do with internal economic and political factors rather than actions set forward by R. Reagan or the USA (I still think it played a big role), or that it was due to the idea that the USSR was bankrupted from the Arms Race. However I believe RR still deserves credit for forming diplomatic ties with Soviet leader M. Gorbachev. Despite the increased tensions in his first term to 1960s standards, they decreased during the second term as a result of several summits to accumulate towards the INF Treaty in 1987 that crucially eliminated all short-and-intermediate range missiles. Additionally, Reagan laid the groundwork for the START Treaty (signed by G. HW Bush in 1991) that would bar the deployment of thousands of nuclear warheads and ICBMS. In the end all of these events would help the US rise to the position as the leading world superpower by the 1990s after the conclusion of the 40+ year Cold War, with the menace of nuclear war coming to an end as a result
For more direct Soviet-related and nuclear policy positives for Reagan, he played a large role in the Soviet agreement to withdraw from Afghanistan in 1988-89, another development that was central to indicate the end of the Cold War. RR also lifted J. Carter's grain embargo against the USSR within the first three months of his tenure that was seen as a previous failure towards applying international condemnation. Reagan also signed policies setting protocol for nuclear wastes, and amendment to superfund cleanups
- Reagan's economic policies are credited as bringing lasting recovery throughout the 80s decade - This point is a major source of controversy in political discussions, again this section will attempt to see both sides of the argument, so bear with me here as the negatives will be discussed later. Reagan came into office during a time of significant economic lows with inflation existing at 13.5%, rising unemployment that would peak at 10.8% in 1982, and a recession within his first year. As a response to stagflation he favored supply-side economic policies inspired by the 1920s C. Coolidge era based in major income tax-cuts, government deregulations, cuts to social spending, etc... including an increase of defense spending. While this agenda is famously known as Reaganomics, I feel like there are misconceptions in regard to his tax policies where some taxes were actually increased in order to gain government revenues. But overall the goal of the framework was to boost economic activity by ideally stimulating demand and trade through tax-cuts on all levels
The first action in this plan was the Economic Recovery Tax Act of 1981 that cut the top marginal tax rate from 70% to 50% over three years, the bottom rate from 14% to 11%, and reductions to capital gains, estate, and corporate taxes. Although it caused high budget deficits and low government revenues from the policy, TEFRA was enacted in the next year to reverse many components of the ERT, especially by tightening tax loopholes to increase revenues. Further tax loophole-closes and rule changes were accomplished by amendments to Social Security in 1983, DEFRA in '84, and OBRA in '87. Nonetheless $375 billion was still received by taxpayers in cuts following TEFRA. In 1986 the Tax Reform Act further set cuts with a reduction of top marginal rate from 50% to 28% (though capital gains taxes increased by 8%), it simplified the tax code, and importantly raised the lowest tax bracket from 11% to 15% which reportedly removed six million Americans from the income tax roll. The top-marginal tax rate has since remained at level below 40% ever since ERT in 1981. The last thing to mention for taxes is Reagan ending oil/gas price controls in 1981, and lowering the oil windfall profits tax the same year until an eventual end in '88. The move was a key reason behind an "oil glut" and significant price fall during the mid 80s that benefitted the US (at the expense of other nations), but it actually undercut domestic oil drilling. As for the matter of inflation, Reagan is credited for closely sticking by Fed-chair Paul Volcker (appointed by Carter in '79) and his tight money policies that broke the back of inflation, even nominating him to a second term
Supporters of Ronald Reagan and his neoliberal economic policies give him a large amount of credit for the prosperity of the mid-to-late 1980s that can be seen in several statistics. While these metrics certainly aren't the be-all-end-all to economic realities and should be considered in context; GDP grew at a rate around 3.5% up to 7% each year, the unemployment rate bottomed out at 5.3% by 1988, federal receipts actually increased by $275 billion throughout the tenure despite large budget deficits, and that real median personal/family incomes on average were both increased by $4400-4700. However, critics and opponents perceive Reaganomics a failure for promoting a lasting economic influence that has lead to major wealth inequality, a favoritism of the American people towards tax cuts, high budget deficits, a steady decline in Union membership, etc... that has led to deterioration of the middle class and blue collar jobs out of America. There will be more on this later in "cons"
- Amnesty for illegal immigrants - The 80s were a historical high for illegal immigration to the United States where Ronald Reagan actually supported their integration and legalization as a response through the Immigration Reform and Control Act of 1986. This is coming from someone who is pro on the issue, I totally get it if others have different opinions, but this law granted amnesty for three million immigrants who entered the US prior to 1982 and were still living in the country. It also strengthened the standard of hiring practices from employers by making the purposeful employment of aliens illegal
- Bipartisan reforms to Social Security - By the early 80s there was severe doubts whether or not the program of SS could survive in the immediate future (even by '83), while originally RR sought cuts to the program, he organized a bipartisan commission on reform which came up with the proposals to delay COLAS, change tax-rate schedules in the upcoming 6 years, and raise a SS-income tax on high-income individuals to gain short-term revenues
- Civil Liberties Act of 1988 - This law provided reparations to Japanese-American and Aleut people who were victims of internment during WW2. The government pledged to issue an acknowledgment and apology of the injustices committed, including a $20,000 compensation grant ($53k in 2024) for over 82,000 still-living people who experienced the awful travesty
- Firearm Owners Protection Act - I'll be completely honest, I've got no opinion on gun ownership laws. But this one withdrew several gun restrictions set by the 1967 Mulford Act with the backing of the NRA, though machine guns produced after 1986 were banned for personal use. Later in his post presidency he would throw his support towards the 1993 Brady Bill
- Martin Luther King Jr Day was made a federal holiday in 1982
- Other foreign policy positives - After Israel conducted a siege in Beirut and bombing campaigns against Lebanon in the 1982 Lebanon War, Reagan strongly opposed the actions taken and likened the event as a "holocaust". While facing resistance from the Israeli PM, he successfully applied pressure to stop the bombings. Additionally, he was the first president to make note of the Armenian Genocide that happened in 1918
- Signing of the Montreal Protocol - The MP was an international treaty that attempted to address the huge hole in the Earth's ozone layer by gradually banning substances that were responsible for its depletion, specifically CFCs or HFCs
Well...

Reagan Cons:

- Reagan's economic policies are blamed for leading to a major wealth inequality gap in the last 50 years - I would argue that the biggest legacy from Ronald Reagan's presidency when discussing it today is centered around his neoliberal economic policies that would be highly influential and similarly followed by future presidential administrations. If you wish to see some evidence of wealth inequality growing in the last 4-5 decades, I suggest reading up on this Pew Research article that examines the phenomenon through multiple metrics. Going back to Reagan, there is first the matter of taxes where I see him as having a high influence towards the American public's favoritism of low-taxes and tax cuts as one aspect of a potential source of inequality. It's important to get it out of the way that trickle-down economics isn't actually a real economic theory, it's a term that pokes fun of supply-side economics. Moving on beyond taxes there are several other areas within this argument to examine. One of the biggest topics in this regard is the SEC legalizing stock-buybacks in 1982 (rule 10b-18), I consider this a major negative for the status of worker wages/incomes where corporate profits became more directed towards stock values and the enrichment stockholders. There will be much more on how the poor was hurt through many policies in the next three points
- Massive increase to national debt and large yearly budget deficits - From the span of 1981-1989, the national debt nearly tripled as it went from $997 billion to $2.85 trillion which in large part had to do with increased public expenditures, reduced revenue from tax cuts, and a shift towards mass-borrowing to cover for federal deficits that led to the US becoming the world's largest debtor nation away from the largest creditor. The deficit each year hovered around 150-220 million dollars, although the deficit as a percentage of GDP decreased from 5.9% in 1983 to 2.7% in 1989. While it is not this premise that I take the most issue with, the budget deficits were alleviated to some extent through cuts on social programs
- Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1981 - In an effort to decrease government spending, this law rolled back several Great Society programs and other federal assistances such as food stamps, federal guaranteed student loans program school lunch program, public transport, Veterans Program, Medicaid, etc... The OBRA most importantly ended direct federal funding for community-based mental health centers, it is seen as a serious cause in the increase in homelessness in 80s America going forward. Reagan also said (paraphrasing) that "homelessness is a choice". However it's important to note that this law passed at veto-proof majorities, but nonetheless it cut out many forms of government assistance for the poor
- Union-busting - The most notorious labor strike to come out of the 1980s was the PATCO strike in '81 for thousands of air-traffic controllers who were attempting to gain more improved working standards (32 hour work week, $10k pay increase, better benefits). In response to the disruption Reagan threatened to fire the workers unless they returned to work within two days, as it is illegal for federal workers to engage in work stoppages. Over 10,000 air traffic controllers did not budge on their demands and were promptly fired by Ronald Reagan. I might catch flak for this but I'm actually of the opinion that what terms strikers were seeking was highly unrealistic, and the response from the president shouldn't be seen as too unreasonable given the circumstances. Still, the event was a further blow to Union membership for workers in the US (a trend since the 1960s) as the government wasn't willing to negotiate with striking workers as done in the previous decades. What this indicated is that the working class increasingly lost negotiation power to negotiate more favorable wages
There are other economic negatives to acknowledge stemming from this time period, one being a failure to reduce the poverty level from 13% that remained unchanged throughout the tenure. In fact, poverty actually increased to 15% in '83, but then went back down again to 13% by 1988. This period is also notable for a greater inclination towards offshoring jobs given labor rule changes, something that would come ahead in the future decades (especially with Ron's push for NAFTA to come to fruition under GHWB and B. Clinton). Otherwise, this is a brief overview into the argument for how Reaganomics has set the USA on a path towards increasing wealth inequality that has helped diminished the middle class, and led to many economic pitfalls experienced in the modern era. Personally I am not a supporter of Reagan's economic policies and think they played a significant enough role cultivating poor economic conditions experienced in the modern era, and the influence for high politicians to follow a similar neoliberal agenda. Although I think it's way too much of an oversimplification to chalk up all modern economics problems on Ronald Reagan, it's something I see fairly often online. From my POV I consider Reaganomics as a reasonable idea in the short term to boost a struggling economy, but bad as a long term economic policy outlook
- Negative deregulations - There are some deregulatory actions taken by R. Reagan that I think were a good thing, but there are several that I think were ultimately damaging or distasteful to society. The most notable one in my opinion was the continued deregulation of the Savings and Loans Association through, the Garn-St. Germain Depository Institutions Act that was passed to help save the industry and help the housing market, but unfortunately the savings and loans crisis of the 80s/90s led to a 32% failure of associations in large part to issuing junk bonds and risky investments. This policy is also seen as a contributing factor towards the 2008 financial crisis 20+ years down the road, but this premise is disputed.
I also disagree with the deregulation of the broadcast industry which saw the FCC entirely repeal the Fairness Doctrine (leading to the standards of networks like Fox News), but children's television became far less restricted which saw entire cartoons exist pretty much as toy ads, or the marketing of junk food
- Poor record on environmentalism - Since the memo for the federal government was one of pro-business, pro-cuts to government agencies, and deregulation, it also extended to weakened environmental policies that enacted spending cuts of the EPA. RR himself favored decreased regulations on pollution, and failed to renew the Clean Air Act throughout his time in office. One of the most controversial cabinet members was Sec. of the Interior James Watt who was anti-environmentalist. and opened up coastal waters to oil drilling or coal mining. JW was later convicted due to a lobbying scandal within the HUD
- Response to AIDS crisis - R. Reagan and his administration's response to the unfolding AIDS/HIV epidemic is one of the most controversial talking points to come out of the tenure where people allege that he outright ignored the crisis, which not only promoted the spread of disinformation on the disease, but even worse contributed to the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans that especially devastated the gay community. On the other hand, defenders repudiate many of these claims with evidence of actions that RR had somewhat of a proactive, but covert response to the crisis. As for my personal take on this subject I definitely think it's a low point for Reagan's presidency, he was slow to react to the crisis to a considerable extent, he should have listened more to appointees like E. Koop, and that there were PR blunders that aged badly. On the other hand, I remain skeptical over the extent on how much a different president would be an improvement over Reagan given the social attitudes of the time. It's a very touchy issue to this day
To get into critiques, the first administration response to the epidemic was from the Press Secretary L. Speakes who repeatedly laughed at questions concerning AIDS in 1982. In the early years the CDC originally struggled with researching the disease on fairly limited funding due to spending cuts of the organization which may have delayed the discovery of the HIV virus (officially confirmed in April 1984), including challenges to support for funding from congress, and even the Reagan administration's religious slants that made promoting AIDS awareness/prevention more rigid (abstinence-only sex education). It wasn't until September of 1985 until RR made the first public statement on it in a press conference outlining a mass funding plan, but he expressed sympathy with parents who were scared of sending their kids to school with other kids who had the virus, though the CDC reported back in 1983 that the disease can't be transmitted through basic touch. There are more criticisms here to discuss, but this summarizes many talking points against Reagan's handling of the HIV/AIDS crisis
For the defenses of Reagan in response to the grief, he is praised for his appointment of Surgeon Gen. Everett Koop who took on important initiatives promoting AIDS awareness and infection-prevention plans in a mass mailing campaign. Contrary to popular belief funding for AIDS from congress and signed by RR was actually granted in 1983, albeit to a small extent as it was only $2.6 million, but in late 1985 $190 million in AIDS research was approved ($70 million more than what the administration requested). An important positive came in relation to treatment where the FDA in this era had relaxed their drug-approval policies, meaning that the field of medicine could push HIV/AIDS drug-treatments to patients faster than before, and skip the licensing process
- Escalation of the War on Drugs - This is another point that is judged purely on modern political beliefs that form my personal bias on the topic, and over 30 years of hindsight to go off of. Personally I disagree with the late 20th century efforts to crack down on drug-related offenses and the intense police, military, and political pressure to wage the war. The 1980s are notable for being the beginning of a huge spike in incarceration rates in large part to non-violent drug offenses that disproportionately impacted black Americans and other minority groups, sources claim that drug offenses went from 50k to over 400k by 1997. Now it's important to note that the initiatives were massively popular throughout American society, and experienced overwhelming bipartisan support where every related law such as the Comprehensive Crime Control Act of 1984 (increased federal penalties for drug distribution and possession, mainly cannabis), Anti-Drug Abuse Acts of 1986 & 1988 (increased mandatory minimum sentencing for drug offenses. $1.7 billion in funding for the efforts, Office of National Drug Policy created, etc.) all passed at veto-proof majorities. The foundation of "War on Drugs" was also created by R. Nixon and helped by his predecessors. But still, Ronald and Nancy Reagan were key leaders in all of these expanded efforts, particularly with the "Just Say No" anti-drug PR campaign where much of it comes off as bizarre
More on incarceration topics, the 80s were seen as a huge push towards privatized prisons which would exponentially grow in the 90s decade due to the support of tough-on-crime legislators. I also disagree with the increased militarization of the police as seen with Public Law 97-86, though also passed with a veto-proof majority. There is a potential layer of hypocrisy with the federal government where many writers and conspiracy theorists allege that the CIA was at the very least least complicit in the drug trade perpetrated by Nicaraguan connections, mainly those involving the backed Contra rebel group. It leads into the next point
- Iran-Contra Scandal - One of the biggest sources of controversy within Ronald Reagan's administration is this event which is considered one of the greatest scandals in presidential history. Prior to 1980 J. Carter imposed an arms embargo on Iran in response to the Iran Hostage Crisis, Reagan vowed to continue it and encouraged upon other nations to do so through Operation Staunch in '83. However senior officials conducted secret missiles sales to Iran (with the help of Israel) in attempt to secure the release of seven US hostages in Lebanon, and illegally used a portion of the proceeds to fund the anti-communist Contra rebel organization in Nicaragua. The assistance to the Contras had been rendered illegal through the 1982 Boland Amendment to prevent an overthrow of the Sandinista government, but the perpetrators from the NSC & CIA willingly circumvented congress through this complicated scheme which all came to public attention in November of 1986
Thirteen men who were involved to varying extent were indicted for crimes related to the affair, where five of the most notorious members such as Sec. of Defense C. Weinberger or National Security Adviser R. McFarlane were pardoned by George HW Bush in 1992. Other key officials such as Oliver North, who took the fall for the event, had their charges overturned, or were granted immunity in exchange for testimony. As for Reagan's involvement or knowledge of the scandal in action, it continues to be disputed but O. North claimed that he fully knew and approved of the plans. It was a complete PR nightmare for RR that forced him to confront the reality of the situation in front of the American public in embarrassing fashions ("I don't recall"). In the end Reagan was cleared of any indictment based on a lack of concrete evidence, though recorded statements lead many to believe that he gave a greenlight on the operation. Iran-Contra was a major blow to his credibility and approval rating at the time, as such it also leads to the attitude that RR should have been impeached for the affair. Despite all of this, his popularity still prevailed in his post-presidency
- Support of brutally repressive dictators in Central & South America - A large element of Ronald Reagan's anti-communist agenda as indicated by the Reagan Doctrine was to support anti-communist factions throughout the world under a new wave of containment. While this foreign policy approach certainly wasn't unique to RR compared to other Cold War {residents, or that the opposing communist forces were innocent by any means (not trying to condone communism here), he still supported several dictators who were responsible for human rights abuses
One of the most notorious supported dictators was Efraín Montt who was the president and military leader of Guatemala during one of the worst periods of the country's civil war, where he was accused of committing genocide and terrible crimes against humanity against the Mayan People by the tens of thousands. The Reagan administration sent over $10 million in military aid, petitioned congress to reopen aid to the country when it was closed, and the POTUS himself personally backed Montt by saying he gets a "bum rap". Another criticism came for the support of the El Salvador military government who fought against the FMLN in the country's civil war. Again the FMLN unignorably murdered civilians too, but the other side formed death squads and committed all sorts of atrocities against people at a far more extensive rate. Then of course you have Nicaragua with the support of the Contra rebels to fight against the Sandinistas (also see mining operations in their waters, and an embargo that went against international law)
This event is only mentioned in "cons" for continuity reasons, but many consider the 8-day invasion of Grenada in 1983 justified where neighboring Caribbean nations asked for assistance in response to the military coup, the safety of six hundred American medical students was needed to be protected, and that there was suspicions that the construction of a huge airfield in the country was to be used for Soviet military interests. Despite the instance of 19 American soldiers killed, 24 Grenadian civilians killed, and hundreds wounded the operation was considered a success by many, and a morale boost to the US military after failures in Vietnam, Iran, and Lebanon. On the other hand the event generated international controversy where many allied nations like the UK or Canada questioned the legality of the affair
- The arming and CIA training of the Mujahideen in Afghanistan indirectly led to the rise of the Taliban & Al-Qaeda - The Soviet invasion of Afghanistan occurred prior to Reagan's presidency in 1979 where the US government approved of Operation Cyclone to phase out over $20 billion in funding for Afghan resistance groups. In the last Carter years the funding was fairly limited (>$1 million in 1979) but was planned to greatly expand each year necessary in the 80s to around $630 million per year in 1987. In reference to the Reagan Doctrine, the Soviet-Afghan War was arguably the most important conflict to direct attention towards as over 100,000 insurgents were trained from the efforts. Continuing onto the negatives over Islamic terrorism in the aftermath of the conflict, while it is true that groups like the Taliban evolved from the Mujahideen, the Northern Alliance who fought against and opposed the Taliban during the Afghan Civil Wars also rose from the same disparate group. With this instance, I believe that the rise of the situation with these groups were inevitable after a Soviet defeat, but the billions of US dollars in soldier training and weapons would unfortunately empower them as an indirect consequence of military backing, and lead to several major geopolitical conflicts involving the US in the years to come onto modern times
- Actions relating towards the Iran-Iraq War - After the Iranian Revolution in 1979, Iraq deemed it a prime opportunity to invade Iran to gain Western territory as a result of political turmoil and a lack of international support for the new rule. Originally the US stayed out of the conflict, then soon came to favor Iraq by 1982 due to a greater perceived threat apparent to the US in a potential Iranian victory. To me this seemed like a lose-lose situation on who to side with more as it was between Saddam Hussein versus Ayatollah Khomeini, but the US supplied several billion dollars in military/economic aid for Ba'athist Iraq throughout the war, and turned a blind eye against widespread human rights abuses committed against groups like the Kurdish people via chemical weapons. Despite this premise occurring for several years throughout the 80s, Reagan actually managed to supply both sides during the conflict as mentioned before through covert weapons deals. While all of this is messy enough, the US in one incident was very much hurt through an attack on the USS Stark in 1987 by Iraqi aircraft who supposedly mistaken the ship for being an Iranian tanker. 37 crewmen were killed and 21 wounded from two missiles that hit the frigate, Reagan showed no response against Iraq and blamed Iran as responsible for the whole ordeal
- Other negatives relating to foreign policy in the Middle East - In October of 1983, the Beirut Barracks Bombings occurred where hundreds of US military personnel were originally deployed on a peacekeeping operation during the Lebanese Civil War, 241 of them were killed as a result of two suicide bombings. The Islamic Jihad who were responsible for the attack accomplished their purpose as the MNF promptly withdrew from Lebanon, Ronald Reagan as a result was criticized for a weak response where he showed that the US would retreat from any form of aggression faced by Islamic terrorism. 6 months prior to the Barracks bombing, a *US embassy in Beirut was also bombed which killed 17 Americans.&& The last point to mention for Middle East topics is the *1986 Air Raids on Libya* in response to a discotheque bombing in West Berlin, where the retaliation happened on loose suspicions that Libyan agents and M. Gaddafi were behind the terrorist act. 45 Libyan soldiers and 15 civilians were killed
- Support for Apartheid Regime in South Africa - During the 1980s anti-Apartheid resistance in the country grew stronger due to a series of events and political repressions that became the center of international attention. While many in US congress were leaning more towards strict sanctions on the SA government, Reagan was put in a difficult situation from his POV where he saw the government as a key anti-communist ally engaged in proxy wars against neighboring countries. He called for weak measures condemning the government such as "constructive engagement" and minor restrictions, but faced heavy criticism for vetoing the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act. Congress overrode the veto with overwhelming bipartisan support
Other African foreign policies in the eighties that has been met with disdain is Reagan's backing of UNITA in Angola that has committed human rights abuses, and again I'm not trying to condone or defend the opposing MPLA for their own crimes, it's a terrible lose-lose situation like many other foreign policy affairs listed. The last point I want to mention is the continued support of Mobutu in Zaire and H. Habre in Chad for more African brutal dictators that the US condoned
- Continued the status quo for US support for repressive regimes in Southeast Asia - Many of these instances have roots before Reagan's time in office as they were either anti-communist or served US interests in some shape or form. As such, support for Suharto in Indonesia during the occupation of East Timor continued, and the administration approved of an unprecedented $300 million sale of arms was conducted in '86. Reagan stood by dictator F. Marcos in the Philippines despite evidence of violence and election fraud, though he changed course in a peaceful transition of power. Lastly, there was a flow of covert aid for the KPNLF in Cambodia which was composed of Khmer Rouge members
- Numerous other scandals within the Reagan Administration - Something that I'm surprised doesn't get discussed too often for the negatives of RR's presidency are the other instances of corruption or misdeeds from federal government officials. There is some misleading information in the following article, but here is the wiki detailing the scandals throughout the administration, particularly relating to the Dept. of Housing & Urban Development, the EPA, defense department, close secretaries, military officials, etc... Many of these indictments were either overturned, or were later pardoned by later presidents. But still, 28 people were convicted of crimes within this group. I'd go as far to say that Reagan had one of the most corrupt administrations, it was unfortunately a downside to his "delegator", hands-off management style, although none of these other scandals implicated Ron personally
Another terrible look from the admin came when they put forth a policy to provide tax exemptions for racially discriminatory, or segregated schools, but public backlash compelled a swift reversal of the decision. Continuing on a similar theme Reagan vetoed the Civil Rights Restoration Act of 1987 that required all institutions who receive federal funding to comply with civil rights rules/standards, congress overrode the veto. Additionally he called for an outlaw to desegregation busing as well, citing a necessity for a "freedom of choice" for parents and school children for what schools they attend
- The surveillance state expanded under Reagan - Exec. Order 1233 (1981) expanded the power of intelligence agencies like the CIA and FBI to spy on American citizens or foreign governments for security motivations, which would serve as one basis for the NSA to grow within the next 40+ years
- Misunderstandings related to presidency - These points aren't real negatives but I thought it was appropriate to put them here. At any rate, I've seen RR receive credit for the release of the 52 American hostages which concluded the Iran Hostage Crisis, I'm of the view that RR had virtually nothing to do with that happening beyond simply being elected, and that it was just a personal insult to Jimmy Carter from the Iranians. Reagan even credited Carter for the doing the legwork to get the people free. On the next point, it's something I see all the time but I truly do not believe (or at least remain skeptical) that Ronald Reagan was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease by his second term, we have no true way of confirming
- Attempts at Christianized policies - Many hold a disdain for Ron's large influence for aligning the Republican Party with the Evangelical movement and stricter social conservativism, as such I disagree with his attempts for a federal law to ban abortion, support for efforts to mandate a school prayer, or the push towards "abstinence-only sex education"
- Mixed legacy with Supreme Court appointments - Reagan successfully appointed four officials to SCOTUS in his tenure which most notably concerned Sandra Day O'Connor, W. Rehnquist was elevated to Chief Justice, then A. Scalia and A. Kennedy were nominated later. One failure in this respect is RR's insistence for the nomination of Robert Bork which strained relations between the POTUS and the Senate
- Ketchup became a vegetable
Ronald Reagan is one of the most controversial US presidents for his time in office that had a major impact on the political and economic direction of the country onto the late 20th century, which the ripples can still be seen today. The way that I see him, is that in many ways he came into office at the right time to provide short-term successes for long lasting economic issues, and inspired American on a level not experienced since JFK. However there are many domestic policies and foreign policy strategies that I simply can't get behind, which is influenced by my own biases and hindsight. So Reagan's grade ceiling to me is a C. Historians continue to rank him fairly high in the top 15, but you'll find all sorts of criticisms for his presidency on this website which generally tends to lean left. Apologies for more Reagan spam on this sub
Again if I missed anything or wish to dispute any of my claims, please say so. I will likely edit this post to update it with more information in the future. Thank you for reading. If you want to check out other pros/cons of all presidents up until this post, check here

I (30 F) have been with my partner (33 M) for 6 years. We were together as teenagers and he broke my heart because we were just too young. We both had 5 year relationships and then split from them (I bought my ex out and owned my own home by myself) a couple of years later ended up together, moving in and falling pregnant within a year. It was heaven, I felt loved, safe and truly cared for. Once we had our son things quickly changed. We were in lock down due to covid with a new born unable to get help from any of our family’s. He totally shut off from me and stayed up until 2/3am drinking and wouldn’t wake till around 12/1 in the afternoon so it was hard for me. Along with a lot of other issues that we worked through together. Once he went back to work things seemed to turn around. I allways picked him up from work as I was still on maternity leave but he finished at different times every day. One day my phone crashed and wouldn’t turn back on so I went on his iPad to log into Facebook to ask when I should pick him up and seen his emails on the notifications and there was around 4 different email accounts all for porn websites, only fans, admire me and peoples own personal sites. This caused HUGH arguments as with him being self employed after covid his business was struggling and he was making zero money, but I on the other hand also self employed was making a good amount from my business being ran by my team. I paid for everything! I was constantly lending him money from £10 for lunch money to £300 for rent. Rarely paid back to me. I didn’t mind this one bit as we were a team and a family and he needed support and I was able to help. No resentment at all. But, spending my money on porn when our sex life was very active (daily) seemed like a kick in the teeth. I instantly felt like I wasn’t good enough. I felt like he was watching this to get though having sec with me. I felt so low. We talked about it and he said it’s because of the fetish he’s into, it’s not on main stream porn. He’s into being embarrassed by women? I don’t really know what the porn would be like but when we do have sec this is what I do to him and he loves it so it’s not like he’s not getting his fix? Anyway we moved passed it and he promised he would stop buying porn as he couldn’t actually afford it. Around a year and a half ago we went on a break because he was constantly lying to me, saying he’d be home at 4 o’clock then he’d end up going out drinking with who he worked with when again he had no money. After a few months split he asked for a second chance and I agreed as long as he cut down drinking and got a normal job (didn’t mention the porn as this was a while ago and didn’t think he’d been buying anymore) he agreed and ended up getting a job, and getting promoted pretty soon. I was so proud of him! He seemed to have truly turned around. Since having a wage coming in he was paying his share of the bills so it was a lot better for our family. But today when he finished work (night shift) he went to bed and I popped in the room for something and I could tell he was hiding something. So I asked him to show me his phone and he flat out refused and told me to get out the room. After a bit of an argument I left. When he woke up my son was at my parents so I asked to speak about it. He couldn’t show me what he was watching so I asked to see his bank account on his phone so I could see what he was spending on porn. He refused but after a bit of time he agreed. He logged onto his app scrolled down and then looked at something and refused. This happed around 4-5 times where he agreed and I see him scroll then change his mind. I told him if he doesn’t show me then I can’t be with him because I’ll never be able to trust him and now I know 100% that he his hiding something in his banking from me. He said that I should trust him and believe him that there is nothing there. I know I should but the fact is I don’t. He’s let me down time and time again and when I thought we were past all this it all comes up again.
So AITAH for asking to see his baking? Should I let it drop or should I stick to my guns and leave him for not letting me see for my own peice of mind?
My bank statements come as post so he could look whenever he wants and he’s able to look through my phone at any point he chooses and if he needs to go on my phone for anything he can. But with his I’m never allowed. He also has a vpn and I’m assuming this is for porn? I’m not very tech savvy so I don’t really know what it would be used for but I’m assuming to download porn?

My old friend wants to rekindle but I'm still angry
I(F 29) had a friend (F26) that I was very close to (we were roommates for a year). I will not bore you with details but she turned out not to be the amazing friend I thought she was. Not saying at all that she is a bad person, but she really did me wrong. (Talked about me behind my back, tried to rally other friends against me, minimalised a very painful thing I was going through, forced me to be around someone that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable)
She has now moved to a different country and in the 6 months she has been gone I have noticed just exactly how much I had been putting my own health second and how much energy she drained from me.
When I decided to get over it and messaged her, she talked mainly about herself. Did not really ask how my life was going and then ignored my last message for two months (even though I had asked if she would like me to come on a visit along with other mutual friends)
The day those other friends were about to arrive (2 months after i messaged her) is when she finally responded asking if I would like to facetime sometime.
Truth is I do not at all want to facetime. I really liked/loved this person (she was going to be my maid of honour even) and I recognize that I may not want to just throw all that away. I also recognize that she did a lot of things because she was going through tough shit too. On the other hand, I am still very hurt and at times very angry about things she did. I feel more at peace, for now, knowing she is not a big part of my life anymore but I might want to rekindle -albeit with clear set boundries- in the future.
I have not responded to her request to facetime for two weeks and I dont want to leave her hanging either. What do I say to her without hurting her feelings?

I(F 29) had a friend (F26) that I was very close to (we were roommates for a year). I will not bore you with details but she turned out not to be the amazing friend I thought she was. Not saying at all that she is a bad person, but she really did me wrong. (Talked about me behind my back, tried to rally other friends against me, minimalised a very painful thing I was going through, forced me to be around someone that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable)
She has now moved to a different country and in the 6 months she has been gone I have noticed just exactly how much I had been putting my own health second and how much energy she drained from me.
When I decided to get over it and messaged her, she talked mainly about herself. Did not really ask how my life was going and then ignored my last message for two months (even though I had asked if she would like me to come on a visit along with other mutual friends)
The day those other friends were about to arrive (2 months after i messaged her) is when she finally responded asking if I would like to facetime sometime.
Truth is I do not at all want to facetime. I really liked/loved this person (she was going to be my maid of honour even) and I recognize that I may not want to just throw all that away. I also recognize that she did a lot of things because she was going through tough shit too. On the other hand, I am still very hurt and at times very angry about things she did. I feel more at peace, for now, knowing she is not a big part of my life anymore but I might want to rekindle -albeit with clear set boundries- in the future.
I have not responded to her request to facetime for two weeks and I dont want to leave her hanging either. What do I say to her without hurting her feelings?

TLDR warning:
Growing up, my parents said I was always naïve and a bit gullible. I’ve always been an easy-going laid-back kind of person and everyone says I’m really nice. I recently joined the trades, and have learned the hard way that these guys will try their best to take advantage of you. I even have one coworker that has been talking to me and told me how the guys told me I come off as someone who would be easy to convince to have their way with me because I am so nice and tolerant. I was kind of bothered by the statement, because he’s been trying to befriend me and is being creepy about it as well, but after the situation I went through this past year with my Apprentice Teacher, I am pretty upset and putting down more boundaries to these men who think they can play mind games and convince me of something. I told him sorry there is nothing that’s gonna happen between us.
So we have the Apprentice Teacher situation, and we have to take at least three semesters to graduate. Near the last of the third semester, the teacher started to be more comfortable and reaching out to give me hugs, which I thought was a little weird, but OK because I don’t mind hugs. But it is kind of weird doing it in the public setting and I didn’t like that as much. He didn’t come off as the type anyway. Even he told me at one point it’s nice to see that I am a good person and I don’t get offended very easily, that will help me in the job I am in. Because I missed a week due to Covid. I had to take an extra semester, and no one else came in so I was the only student. He said if there is a snowstorm, I can always crash at his hotel room because I lived an hour away and he lived over an hour away. Seemed a little weird, but he seemed trusting and so I said ok.
I will say that before I joined the trades, I never really went to bars or drinking that much, but since I’m such a lightweight and I started to do it more as that is where we hang out and network, then the guys would always give me a hard time about it. I also came out of a marriage and we were both in an open relationship. The guys at school knew this because my “guy friend“ stopped by a couple of times to say hi, but later on realize that’s probably information they shouldn’t know about because that’s something men can take advantage of.
Now that I ended up being the only student in the class, the teacher started to bring up “interesting” conversations like he was trying to test the waters. At the same time, trying to befriend me and earn my trust, he knew I had been struggling with depression and such and he told me he’s part of the mental health helping hands program and that he cared and if I ever needed to reach out to talk to him, just give him a call. He started having conversations about his past relationships, a girl that cheated on him in the past and broke up with her. It progress to his wife was in a bad accident and he didn’t think she was going to make it so he fooled around with one of their mutual friends. Later on he started to admit that he cheated on his wife at least once, then it led to he never had sex since eight years ago. I should’ve shut it down right there and now I feel guilty about it.
Now we get a snowstorm and he invites me to crash at his room. We walk across the street to get dinner and before then he gives me a gummy that he says helps him to sleep at night. Then at dinner he buys me a drink. I am pretty much loopy and buzzed at that point. He takes my hand to help me across the street. We go back and he wants me to cuddle with him and then he starts hinting at other things. He came off in such a way that he wasn’t overt about anything, like he was trying to manipulate me. He brought up wanting to fuck me in the ass and I said I’m not into that kind of thing. After that night, he started to call me at least a few times a day and it got a little irritating. He started love bombing me and showering me with compliments and buying me things. He said he told his wife about me a lot and that she didn’t care and that he told her he was going to go have sex with a woman when he was gone next and she just laughed. He would tell me then that I was one of the best apprentices and how he loves to talk to me because I’m so interesting and fun to talk to and be around.
His text and phone calls got to the point where it would be a few a day or once every other day or once a week. He became very inconsistent and very flaky. He wanted me to drive out to take me fishing, which I really wanted to do, about an hour and a half drive there. He called and canceled so I had to turn around and go back home. After I graduated, he asked me to have dinner with him a couple times which was an hour from my house and when I got there, he either blew me off or he canceled. I felt like I was being taken advantage of, which I was. He started contacting me less and less, after he started to get me hooked thinking I had a cool friend. Now I’m starting to feel used. He made all kinds of stories and lies up and some really obvious he got to the point where he didn’t care about my day or asking about anything he would just call me while I’m driving and hope I would show my tits to him even though I told him I didn’t feel comfortable doing that while I’m driving at all. He still got on me about wanting to do me in the ass. I told him I hated it. Then he blocked me on Facebook because he said my posts were depressing and I’m depressing when I reached out to him when I was struggling with my mental health.
But before that, he said he blocked me because his daughter didn’t like that I liked one of his photos. That changed to he hated Facebook and he deleted all of his friends, but with a lot of our mutual friends that wasn’t true. Then he changed his story that he deleted his Facebook account, which also wasn’t true. That progressed to my posts were depressing and he didn’t want to hear about it anymore. Now, I felt like he isn’t safe to talk to. I was being manipulated and used. Like he was grooming me because he thought I was very easy target that he profiled for a while. I had a coworker friend who actually reached out to Union representative when he heard about some of those things, and then the teacher reached out to me all pissed off and said he’s going to quit teaching and not do it anymore. He asked me to delete all texts which I stupidly did most of them, but I still have screenshots of some of the texts he sent me. He did a lot more phone calls and FaceTime, and if I found out how I could record FaceTime correctly, I would have done that.
He has been talking to me about how his wife side of the family doesn’t live very long and once his wife passed away, he would hook up with this one girl that they were both friends with that he brings up a lot. He also mentions other nice girls in a trade, and I even spoke with another girl in a trade who said he’s paid extra special attention to another girl in class, that her, and even the other guys noticed. The teacher made up so many excuses for everything, he said that he gives extra attention to the girls because he wants to see them succeed. I say, how can you say that you’re an advocate for mental health and be in these mental health programs when you belittle someone who opens up to you and tell them that they are depressing when they talk to you even after you say they can. I said that could cost somebody their life. Ever since this situation I had to start going to therapy, and up my medication. I put my trust in somebody who took advantage of me and now I know I’m partly at fault for falling for it. One of the representatives who got me in the trade, told me I need to go to another lady in our local and tell her the whole thing and send her a screenshots that I have. I am afraid because I don’t want to see anybody lose their job, I see him as a nice person, but then everyone says I always see the good in everybody and I shouldn’t. I am afraid it will reflect on me because I know at fault for giving in to this. It’s been a lot of hurt and I’m having a hard time trusting anyone at this point because they all seem to come off the same in the beginning as good people. Now this guy who made me feel like a good friend and important has ghosted me. The textbook story.

The archers walked amongst the corpses, plucking arrows, swatting flies, cutting fingers to get at the rings, and snicking the dead when they couldn’t just pull the arrows.
Lord Tion trotted up to his father’s side, “What do we do with the prisoners, Father?”.
“Send them back to the warehouse. We have no need of them but I can’t have them out and about until we have made use of the element of surprise. I’ll release them after King Era’s defeat”, he plodded with his guards back to the palace, leaving Tion to clean the mess.
“Slin. Gagal”, said the lord, “Take the prisoners back. Make sure to feed them this time, damn it”.
Both men nodded and walked them back. Gagal looked serious and annoyed but Slin was happy as a newborn.
Guesilaus’ stomach churned. There was going to be another war. He imagined the orc ships sailing to his home, spilling out. Axes, swords, and all. Then cleaving his father in half. Lopping his mother’s head. It left his hands feeling clammy and the color drained from his face. There’s going to be a war.
“You know what this means? There’ll be war!”, laughed Slin, “We got the chance to match the deeds of the old heroes. With Lord Tion leading us, we’ll win glory in no time”.
Gagal sighed, “You forget it’ll be Lord Torsegar who leads us”, he spat at the side of the road, “Old man wants to relive old glories in the old way. He’s all about that these days. Hadn’t had enough of orc blood from the last war”.
“So what? You’re mad that a decorated war hero’s leading us to victory yet again? How’s that bad?”, said Slin.
The other guard looked at him, seemingly unsure of what to say, “I think”, he said slowly, “the Sword Lord can barely lift his sword. The man’s past his prime. Sure he can stab someone to death”, he looked around to make sure no one was listening, “but can he fight? Can he stab a warrior when he’s not oblivious? That’s what worries me”.
Slin slapped his back, “You worry too much. One thing you should know about leaders is they don’t always have to fight”, he then motioned with his hands as if he were a leader himself, “They just gotta point the direction and tell men when to charge. The rest is up to us”.
“That’s unless we’re desperate. My grandfather said war is always foggy. A man can never know what’s up or down or left or right. In short, nothing’s ever a surety”.
Guesilaus would’ve heard more of the conversation had they not arrived at the warehouse. Gagal and Slin pushed them inside vigorously and slammed the door shut. He knelt down away from the leaking in the ceiling then carefully laid his back down to rest, feeling the cool muddy ground on his skin and through his clothes. Meanwhile, Kaprika looked around for something to cut the bindings.
“What are you doing? We must find a way out of here”, she said.
He sighed, “They have to feed us some time, right? We can rush the man with the food, take his knife and then shear off the ropes”.
“But how are we going to do that? What if the man doesn’t get knocked out by the rush against him? They might decide we’re not worth the trouble and kill us”, she countered, still looking, this time through the barrels. Their hands were tied behind their backs so she had to turn around to face him while she pulled the lids open.
“What are the chances they left anything sharp in reaching distance to their prisoners? It’s just as likely but all we have”, the more he thought about it the more sense it made. He had initially thought to quiet down her commotion so that he could sleep in peace despite the daylight. Even so, it gave him new energy as hope surged through him.
Kaprika’s eyes lit up in excitement, “Wait, we can use our teeth to loosen the ropes”.
“I’ll do yours first”, he said. This was a second chance, he thought, to make it right. He couldn’t fail her again.
It was nearly dusk when he finished. He hadn’t quiet cut the ropes as he hoped but he managed to make it easier for her to snap them off. Before she could work on his ropes, the door swung open, a young man with a gambeson and an ax in his belt brought salted Grilok and cups of water for them. While the guard put them down he seemed to favor one leg over the other, Guesilaus charged, half crouching, and slammed into him with his shoulder.
The guard fell on his arse, struggling to get his ax but Guesilaus backed out and slammed him again. Kaprika felt her nerves jolt her out of her knees and dashed for the ax as it fell from the guard’s hand, jerking out her ropes as she did so. Swooping down for the ax, the guard and her tugged at the handle and head respectively. She moved mouth to hand and chomped down, blood oozing out of his hand as he yelled.
Desperation fed his muscles. The guard cursed as he shoved Guesilaus off and slid out a knife from his boot. Kaprika panicked, swishing down the ax, missing the head and cracking through his chest. She pulled it out and with tears in her eyes chopped down again at his still heaving chest, blood gushing out and spitting at her face and hands. When she was done, she realized it was Gagal who came to them, the man she had just killed.
Men yelled in the distance as they flocked to the already lit torches of the more prudent amongst them, spears, axes and swords in hand.

This morning, I was trying to explain something to my Ngrandma about a water pitcher that purifies that she had wanted. In the middle of trying to explain, she cut me off and asked how the water tasted, When i said it tasted fine-(which from here I was going to offer some from the same pitcher and bring it to her) she cuts me off again stated I don't need it if it just tastes fine. So, (kinda irritated because cut off) I say okay and stop talking about it.
As, I'm walking out the door to pick up food for her, she starts asking me questions about it again. I tell her to look it up and tell her the name as i walking out. (in a short, kinda irritated tone, I will admit) She proceeds to text me as i'm going to pick up her food about how i can "cancel her order before I even pull out of the driveway." and how "she's not interested and doesn't have an appetite left" I sent her a text back explaining she cut me off before I could explain so of course i was frustrated and then asking as i'm trying to leave. I told her I wasn't cancelling the order because it also had my food with it as well. So she can eat it later
she sent me back "i never expect niceness from you. You're always short and ugly with me and no who wants further information when i ask what the water tastes like and I get it tastes okay. I can eat my food dried up reheated and disgusting. maybe you could want to speak to me nicely without a tone."
(btw I offered to get her food because I was running out to get something to eat before work. she zelle'd me 20$ and after this I just zelle'd her the money back. We have tons of food in the fridge, we had already cooked pork and chicken with stir fry veggies that were made the night before.)
I texted "when i first started talking I was politely bringing it up and let you know it was an option. I was not short. I was not ugly when I first brought it up but youu cut me off it was very rude. That doesn't recieve niceness because you were rude and cut me off. You didn't even let me finish my sentence about how the water tastes before cutting me off. Why would I answer questions if i'm just going to be cut off and talk to like that? no."
It proceeded to descend into me getting frustrated and mad. I don't know how she does it but stuff she does pushes my buttons. this woman raised me, beat me and emotionally destroyed me at points of my life. But i'm still helping her because noone else in the family can stand her. She lost her job after a hip surgery and needs a decent amount of help. I see a therapist and it's helped a lot handling her.
It became about how I needed to get off her back and how I destroyed her appetite and how she can't simply have a nice meal. She refused to acknowledge her being rude to me. I know if i did the same thing to her she would loose her mind, call me names, tell me i'm an ungrateful b*tch etc.
I told her i sent her 20$ back when I got home and put the food in the microwave since she said she didn't want it. She said "i didn't ask for you to send it back" and about how I drug it out so much. I explained to her in calm words about how she refuses to acknowledge what she did wrong. If i had done that to her she would be mad as hell. She tells me "I'm sorry you see it that way for me asking about how the water tastes"
I said it's not about the question its the fact she cut me off multiple times and then after calls me rude.
She also proceeds to make fun of me by doing the side side against her chest(insinuating i'm mental disabled) in loud slurred words mocking me for wanting an apology from there proceeds to jump to "Oh do you want to beat me and maul me?" I just kinda laughed because of the jump in logic. She proceeds to hop up and begin crying about how she can't even have a simple meal without being treated like this. I did say here "you can cry all you want" (when i was a kid her crying would make me feel so bad, now I just kinda feel numb towards it?)
She instantly flips a switch starts yelling at me to leave her alone and she storms into her room. Ranting and raving. She at one point says You better not run your mouth at E(my boyfriend) or he's going to smack you across the mouth. I told her to repeat herself even though i heard her and she said the same thing but added he might smack you if you act like that. (she has on previous occasions told me that my boyfriend and my friends would never like me if they knew the real me)
I told her simply apologizing and acknowledging what she had done would have solved this earlier. She stood in front of me and said "i'm sorry for cutting you off" In a super sarcastic way and I said thank you. I appreciate it and finish eating my food. She said every time I cut her off she's going to make me apologize and I said okay that's fine.
I hear her even know ranting and raving about how I'm evil and how I didn't let her simply eat her food in peace, How I must get off on making her ill and how I've never opened my big trap to apologize to her for worse things. (when I was younger, I would exclusively apologize to try and make life easy but as an adult I have stopped apologizing for thing I know I'm not in the wrong for. I'll apologize for my tone or stuff like that but when she puts hands on me I don't apologize for defending myself like i use too.)
Sorry for the long rant, just needed to get it off my chest. I feel like a loon most of the talking to her. I've talked to my boyfriend about it as well and he's heard her over the phone talking to me. He says she talks to me like i'm a dog. My friends have heard her as well and they always tell me i need to move out and be free. It's just so expensive to move out and some weird string still attaches myself to her. I'm always worried I am being rude or mean because i feel rather numb toward her a lot now. I use to feel so crazy as a kid, that I was a bad child and as an adult sometimes, I still feel bad when I can't find it in myself to care anymore.

Taking a drawing course while preparing for aptitude exams was both a good and a bad decision. At first, because my days did not match, I would be with classes that were a few years older than me, and I was okay with that. When I started taking classes with people my own age, that's when the ropes slipped out of my hands. While I was not talking to anyone because I joined later, I went crazy when I heard that the teacher called the intonation of my drawing 'inexperienced' and said that another girl's drawing was better. Because my drawing was better and I know this because I'm sure my anatomy was spot on and everything looked more professional, at least compared to the others. I felt betrayed when she said her ugly drawing was better I worked day and night. I have always done my best and devoted my life to art since I was 2 years old. What particularly drove me crazy was that the teacher approached my peers more positively and their drawings, even though they were ugly, continued to motivate them. On the other hand, it does not help me to keep my motivation high so that others can reach my level. But this drained my energy even more and eventually caused my motivation to collapse. The last straw was when I was trying to give her the best I could, she told me that I was insecure. I took a bullet in my brain. What? me? Am I insecure? I started to feel even more hopeless when nothing I did was rewarded and I was the one to blame. Last day, while I was having my second crying and anger attack in the toilet, my nails dug into my arm skin. Then everything lost its meaning. Art has always been at peace, but now it has become something I fear and feel ashamed of. I'll never be good enough and never get the recognition I deserve

I live in a small town in the Midwest. I’ve lived here alone for almost 5 years. Before that my family lived here. From about 2013 on there has been issues with our neighbor. With my mom he decided our shared driveway was HIS property and put up a super long pole coming from his fence across the driveway where we go through (we are in the back, he is in the front). During this time, he was shooting guns pretty regularly but it didn’t seem like a whole lot. Now, revving his car all day every day? Yes.
This continues. I am now at the house and within a few months of me being here, he begins to do things. Fog light pointed directly at my house, the poll again, and putting sticks across the driveway so I can’t get through. He then started sending me voice messages on Facebook saying “little girl you don’t know who you’re messing with!” “Oh you want to play let’s play!” It’s worth mentioning that he has also stolen a few packages as well. I put a note in the mailbox to please just leave the packages there and I’ll get them when I get home. They were mostly all chewy packages so I even said if he needed anything for his MANY dogs, let me know.
He then started sending me messages in the same tone. He started telling me he’s going to sue me for “wrecking his driveway” and I’ll be forced to move. The wrecking is from me using the driveway, and the occasional UPS truck.
Now, we’ve gotten a more intense. In 2020, he shot my dog. It was icy and we live on a lake split with a fence. My dog had used the frozen lake and sniffed his way across the fence. Within a minute or two from letting him out, I heard a pop and my dog came running. Thankfully he just barely missed his lungs and heart and my senior pit mix is still with me. I called police when it happened and then asked “what kind of dog is it?” I let them know he is a pit mix, and was told that he can say he felt threatened by my dog and it’s absolutely legal. My dog at the time was 10. He loves every single person he meets. Truly the best boy. He eats, sleeps, poops, and sniffs.
He has since become more gun happy. He has bails of hay set up around his camper he lives in with targets on them. They are about 20 fr from him, the road, and about 30 yards from my house. He spends his days sitting in different windows of his camper, watching, and shooting at these targets. I go down the driveway to leave the house and he has his head out the window, usually with a rifle in hand. I no longer walk to get my mail or garbage. There’s many days that I’m scared to leave the house because he is shooting so much. He doesn’t even leave his camper. Just shoots out the window or door. He drinks very heavily. He also had a girlfriend who lived with him for a year and she ran away after she woke up to a gun to her head. I wanted to call police then, but she didn’t want me to because she was scared he would retaliate against me. The area is so rural that he would know it was me.
I spoke to police about these instances before and was told that he can do what he wants on his property. They also said it’s probably better for them not to come because he would make things worse.
I’m planning on moving hopefully soon, but for now this has made life really hard. Constant gun shots are very hard to hear when you’re just sitting in your house. Of course my sweet dog is also petrified and I often have to sedate him with meds to calm him down. I also know when he leaves for work and comes home so I can plan when to get my mail and take out my trash. It’s getting exhausting.
He also is a felon from an arson conviction in another state in the early 2000’s. Cops said it was fine to have a gun since it’s been so long. The people who lived there previously were his dad and his dads wife. The house caught on fire. The wife died. His dad got out. His dad had a bag packed. Dad passed 6 months later. Do with that info what you will.
At this point I don’t know what to do. Just… deal? If he was far away and just going out into his big yard and doing some shooting practice that would be one thing. It’s the country around here and that isn’t unheard of. I’m tired of living like this!

Today is the first of June. My birth month. My birthday is on the 15th. In some days I'll add a year to my age to make me 35. I was in the police cell last year when I turned 34. This will make it two birthdays spent in a box.
Thirty five years ago, I was born to parents who'd been desirous of a male child. I bet they were overjoyed. But little did they know that this child would face lots of sufferings in his life. And it began right at birth. Born with hernia and going under the knife as a baby and again before he was 18.
Then he grew up and was all about minding his business and looking for his daily bread, contributing his bit to society only to be accused falsely and put in prison in the process. Makes it two birthdays spent suffering, and not of his making.
I know too well to begin to question God. But I'll confide in you, Diary. Death is not a bad idea right now. I'm so tired and have exhausted all my strength. I know if I die now I'll make heaven and also I'll escape my worst fear of not knowing how I'm going to start my life over after here.
At least if I die, I won't have to prove anything to anyone. Life is unfair anyway if an injustice like this should exist in it. I still feel like I'm dreaming and I wouldn't believe I'm innocent if it didn't happen to me first hand.
I can't kill myself. No. Not because I'm a coward, but because I know the eternal consequence of suicide. But I sure want an end to this. I think death might actually be the only way I'll have peace in my life. Truly I haven't had nothing these 35 years but trouble.
Tomorrow is Sunday. First Sunday of the month, church attendance will be high.
Goodnight Diary!

(f17) was out in service yesterday and saw the signs of a (presumably) homeless girl who appeared to be having a heroin overdose. i recognized her symptoms told our driver and she discouraged me from getting her help because shes "a junkie" and its not my job to help her even tho our witnessing is "out of love and to save the people of this world". they have no idea i was that girl once. i regret not getting out and checking on her anyway.
i just want to talk to her. even if i could have just called the sheriff or offered to call an ambulance it would put my mind at peace. i wish i could save her the way nobody bothered to help me. the borg talks about how loving our community is until its the minority group. i remember the elders practically grounding me after my first overdose and handing me caleb and sophia coloring sheets to encourage me again.
this organization is sick.

My apartment complex doesn’t have an in-unit washer and dryer, and like a dumbass, I signed the lease anyway, telling myself I was content dragging my clothing to the laundromat. I grew up in a house with a washer and dryer and definitely took it for granted, not realizing how expensive, time-consuming, and labor-intensive it is to use a laundromat. I’ve also had other tenants remove my laundry mid-cycle and leave my soaking wet clothing in bins. As a woman, the thought of other people grabbing my undergarments out of the laundry I paid for makes my whole body cringe. I need to find another way to do this, and I was thinking about just hand-washing them in the tub. I know that sounds like a lot more work, but it would save me money and give me peace of mind knowing that strangers aren’t looking through my belongings. Does anyone else hand wash in their apartment? Any advice would be appreciated I can’t afford one of the portable washedryers so I’d have to do it the old fashion way.

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Sometimes, I wish I could show you everything. Fill in the gaps that you don’t know in my side of the story. I wish you could see the thoughts I’ve had and the emotions I’ve felt over the last few years. It would all click and finally make sense for you. You’d know why I stayed away. Why I didn’t try harder to mend things. Why I don’t reach out. I’m sure you feel similarly, but we can’t just hold hands again and show each other years worth of memories.
I try to live without regret, but I fear the one I’ll always have is that I never could figure out a way to make peace with you. To let you know that I’ll always care, but I know that if we ever did reconcile, we wouldn’t know whether to order a second round or ask for the check. Is digging up a loaded, emotional history for one drink really what we want, and how much would it hurt both of us if we had different answers to that question?
Regardless, I’ll always be grateful for you, friend. Even if you may never know why.

Interview with Alexandra, screenwriter of the story “The Secret of Heaven - Requiem.”
Friends, we welcome you to our modest interview with the beautiful Alexandra, take some goodies, pour some drinks and enjoy your reading!
Hello, first of all I want to congratulate you on the successful start of your story! Our interview is also exciting in the second update, filled with plot twists. How does it feel?)

• Hello! Thanks a lot! I have a lot of experiences) both pleasant and exciting. And there are still many things and moments that I want to think through better. Therefore, my whole life now consists of thoughts about the next episodes. Sometimes I get distracted and realize that several days have already passed, which for me have merged into one. Because of this, it seems that everything that is happening is some kind of derealization.

Let's start with the questions that we dedicated to you; we and the players are interested in learning more about you! Please tell us how you started working at the Romance Club?

• I responded to the vacancy and was selected. This is not the first time I auditioned for the Kyrgyz Republic)

Many screenwriters have rituals before starting work. Do you have anything similar, in general, how do you get ready for work?

• Ideally, it would be great to remain in silence and solitude, light an incense stick, dim the lights and play music suitable for the moment that needs to be described. But I never wrote Requiem like that) In reality, you have to work in less rosy conditions, and the main ritual is to open your eyes in the morning.

Can you share a photo of your desk/where you work?

• I already posted a photo of a laptop and a sofa in Tg: I have to constantly walk back and forth and look for a place where it will be calmest.

Do you play yourself and what are your favorite stories and favorites in them?

• I'm interested in watching what happens in all the stories, but I don't play much of anything. I prefer to watch discussions, read reviews, see what impressed the players, which of the favorites I like best and why. I want to be aware of everything, so I go through the update highlights.

What do you like to do in your free time? Maybe you have some hobbies?

• In short, I draw and come up with stories. Now my whole head is filled with Requiem, my hobby at the moment is to think about how and what would be better to do in it.

Where do you get your inspiration from?

• From games, music, books, films, comics. If the author has put a message into his work or has worked hard on the atmosphere, then this will always find a response inside, and will give rise to his own thoughts, making him start reasoning. My work often begins with a question. For example, what if a stalker gets his own stalker? And so on. A thought, a feeling, an interest appears - it could be some kind of fleeting feeling in which you want to stay, linger, which you want to develop.

What kind of music do you like to listen to?

• There is no specific style or genre, I like individual tracks. I divide playlists by year; this option is very convenient for me. They mix openings from anime, lyrics to films, tracks from musicals and operas, classics, popular songs from TikTok and God knows where else songs taken from.

Do you have any pets?

• Yes, my crazy favorite cat.

What is your favorite movie/anime genre? What can you recommend to watch?

• It’s the same as with music: I like very different things in different genres. From “Monster” to “Ouran High School Dating Club” if we talk about anime and from “Bratz” (and I’m talking about the film right now) to the conditional “Lobster”. Like the black and pink house meme. If I recommend something from films, then probably “Helter Skelter”, from anime – “Let’s Play!”, from animation – “Moonbeam City”.

The Romance Club team is scattered all over the globe, are you used to different time zones? Or do you have certain working hours that are mandatory for everyone?

• I don’t have a time difference with the guys who work from the office, so I don’t have any problems.

As a content consumer, how do you feel about glass storylines?

• Great. But, if I’m already in a sad mood, I’ll prefer not to finish myself off and choose something easier.

Do you love winter yourself?

• Yes very. Summer is harder for me to cope with... But I love and romanticize all seasons, it makes life easier and more interesting for me.

We slowly move into questions about the story itself and its development :) How long did it take to develop the story?

• If you count from zero to the release itself, then a little more than four months.

Were you involved in the development of Requiem from the very beginning, or were there any other options in the pitches?

• There were no other options.

Which existing characters do you find the most difficult and easiest to write?

• Problems happen to everyone. At some moments I know exactly what the character should say and how, and sometimes everything gets out of control and leads to something strange. If I managed to relax and accumulate some kind of resource within myself, then the characters speak easily and simply. If the days have been hard and I’m empty inside, God save me and help me.

Did the fact that this universe already existed help in the development? Or, on the contrary, was it difficult to comply with the already written “laws”?

• It's 50/50 here. On the one hand, it’s convenient that you already have the basics, on the other hand, you’re afraid of missing out or forgetting something. It’s scary to invade someone else’s world and behave like a barbarian there. But thanks to the fact that Alice is always ready to help and explain everything, I feel more confident.

Which character is most similar to you in character?

• Brat. My daily states fit the meaning of this word well.

To get a more detailed picture, in what period of the CH2 timeline do the CH2 events take place? Or, is this all after the final of CH2?

• The events of SNR take place after the finale of SNR2.

Dmitry and Anna are from Russia?

• We'll learn more about the characters' backgrounds in the story, so I'll keep it quiet for now.

How long ago did eternal winter begin in Rotkov? Judging by the text, there is no longer a warm season there.

• Rotkow has always been a cold and alienated place, but after the events of CH2, cataclysms came to earth that changed the climate. These changes will play a role in the plot and very soon.

Why did Rotkov become the last outpost? After all, there is a place where Dmitry’s detachment came from.

• Rotkov is the northernmost city in Siberia. There are other surviving cities to the south of it, but if you go north from it, you will no longer find settlements. The detachment dubbed the city an outpost, meaning its significance as an advanced point, a kind of fortified place.

Could someone from the SN cast be flying somewhere far away? Can we meet them? In theory, Malbonte, for example. Would you like this?

• If someone just flew by in the background, it would be a wonderful meme!

Are those immortals we have already seen former Unrecognized or not? Perhaps history introduces us to something new regarding the appearance of angels and demons?

• The story of Anhea and Pileon will also be told as the novel progresses.

How long have both churches existed in the city of Rotkow and, in general, how old is the city itself in its current state?

• This will also be mentioned later in the story.

People cooperate with immortals and both sides are not happy about it. But according to the laws of the SN universe, immortals had to protect people. Why aren't they happy now? Because of the need for direct contact, or has something changed?

• After the events of CH2, the immortals lost their home and peace. In such conditions, many of them no longer cared about people’s problems.

If Lane was able to survive and was not noticed at the funeral of the Siberia team, is there a possibility that any of her other colleagues remained alive? Besides her boss.

• There was no funeral for the team: no one went into the rift, infested with abominations, to pull out the bodies of the dead. A memorial was simply erected in the city with the names of those who served in “Siberia”, following the surviving papers.

Lane has a scar on the back of her hand, but the girl in the cinematic was bleeding from another cut, as if this was done to show the presence of a scar?

• This is a spoiler.

“The Book of the Apocalypse” is written in the language of darkness? We wanted to ask exactly this question, but this update gives completely different information. Was this book written by different “people”? Somewhere there is Latin, and somewhere there is something that even Cain cannot see.

• Alas, this is also a spoiler.

Is that distorted corridor Lane's subconscious?

• Yes that's right.

How long did the Sibir team work until its death? How many people were in the team?

• The Siberia base operated for decades. It was a large military-scientific complex, in which quite a lot of specialists worked, not counting the service personnel.

Why is it so important for Dmitry to get Lane emotional?

• This is not some kind of task or goal, but something that happens rather spontaneously. It is important for Dmitry to know what Lane is like: her boundaries, her ability to lie, her deepest motives. He will check her, but it should be noted that some of the girl’s reactions amuse the general.

Have all the lovelines been represented at this point in the story?

• Spoiler.

Cain is so knowledgeable about sensual rituals, did he take part?)

• He didn’t take part, but he is really familiar with this kind of stuff))))

The reference for the estates, especially regarding the estate in Rotkov itself, was the Catherine Palace?

• He was one of the references. The Great Catherine Palace is an imperial palace, the official summer residence of three Russian rulers: Catherine I, Elizaveta Petrovna, Catherine II.

On this note, our interview comes to an end, we express our deep gratitude to Alexandra for her time and patience. And to you, our dear readers, thank you for supporting us! We would like to once again congratulate everyone on the beginning of summer, may these warm days bring you joy. And “The Secret of Heaven - Requiem” will cool us with its icy charm :)

I (25m) told my sister (27f) that she’s acting as an entitled Karen.
Names changed, let’s say my sister is Julia and my gf is Emma.
For context: Me and my girlfriend (22f) visited my sister and stayed at her place for a couple of days. My sister is a single mother with a 9 month old son. Last year me and Emma saved my sister from her abusive husband. I don’t know much about what exactly he was doing to her, but the guy was a full blown psychopath, and now he’s in prison for the things he did to her. Once we called police on him, Julia had no choice but to come back to our parents, since at the time she had no job - the guy made her completely dependent on him, she couldn’t afford the flat and she had a baby who at the time was 3mo. Also we were all worried she would harm herself, since her mental state at that moment was very poor.
For the next few months Julia stayed at our parents house. For a reason I can’t really understand she didn’t cancel the contract for the flat she rented with her husband but instead put it on AirBnB. She explained that she would like to move back there once she finds a job. For what I know the reservations allowed her to cover the rent and bills.
3 months after her husband got arrested, she found a job and just like she said, she moved back to the flat with her baby.
To celebrate that, we visited her. We planned our stay, with a trip to the mountains and a visit to a SPA. The SPA was supposed to be a surprise gift from Julia to Emma. Emma helped Julia to write a decent CV thus Julia intended to make it a surprise as a token of appreciation.
Now, back to the issue:
Once we arrive at Julia’s, we started to discuss our plans for the mountain trip. We had a few things we wanted to see and the whole trip and return would take us circa 12-13 hours. Julia’s baby was coming with us and this is where she started to act a bit entitled.
Julia said that she would prefer we woke up at 5-6 am, to be able to return before 8 pm. She said that her son would cry all the way back if he wasn’t at home after 7-8 pm. I reminded her that this was supposed to be a trip free from strife and rush and we would not put an alarm at the sunrise, since it would miss the point. Emma backed me up on that, so Julia sucked it up, but I could see she wasn’t pleased. We reminded her, that we planned to go to a swimming pool anyway, so most likely her son would be exhausted afterwards and would sleep all the way back.
The trip itself was very pleasant. Except for the way back. The kid did cry for almost 2 hours non stop. Julia was with him in the backseat, trying to soothe him but apparently nothing worked. She didn’t tell us “I told you so”, but she did mention that in future she would appreciate to listen to her if we plan to include her son in our plans. Emma told her that she is overprotective of the boy, because she makes him too used to a routine and thus he becomes hysterical when something goes off the schedule.
When we finally arrived, Julia rushed to her flat with her baby and left us with all the bags to carry inside.
The next day we didn’t do much. The SPA was planned for the 3rd day of our visit, so we mostly chilled in front of the TV and in the afternoon we visited our parents. This is when Julia again started to act entitled.
On the way to parents, I put a song I like on the speakers. Julia asked me to turn it off, because she doesn’t want her baby to listen to rap. I told her to be cool. I was the driver and it wasn’t some sort of a violent-dumb rap. She insisted and to avoid an argument, I gave in.
At our parents we had a BBQ but Julia went to the guest room and avoided everyone. She left her baby with our mom and disappeared for 2 hours. In the evening she came back, saying it’s time to go back to her place. I asked her to wait, because we were watching a sports event. She was not happy, but gave in.
At 8pm we took the road back. Me and Emmy had a beer each, so Julia was driving. Her kid started to cry again but this time he fell asleep. I was talking with Emmy and Julia scoffed at me to be quiet, because I would wake up her son. This is where I told her she’s acting entitled. I told her how she’s overprotective of her son, how she overreacted with the rap, because it will not kill him to listen to some other music for few minutes. I had enough. Julia became furious. She started to yell that we are her guests and we should be respectful and take her child into consideration. This made me angry, because we were not at her place. I told her that if she didn’t notice, we were at the car, not at her home. Sister lost her shit and started to scream at me. She said that she will not let anyone talk to her like this after what she’s been through with her husband. I told her she should stop using her husband as an excuse to avoid earned criticism.
At that point Emma told both of us to stop arguing, since Julia was driving and it was not safe.
So we spent the rest of the road in silence. When we got to Julia’s place she again rushed inside with the baby, bathed him and took a shower. I had a headache, so I wanted to chill in the living room when Julia came to me with her baby in hands, crying and told me how hurtful was what I told her and how dare I call her entitled. I told her that she is in fact entitled, she only is too biased to see it. She started to rant about how her husband would abuse her in that very room and that she had every right to give her kid the peace and routine and that I had no right to treat her like that. She demanded I apologize and I refused, so she said she wanted us gone the next day. She said she will not pay for the SPA for Emmy and that the visit is over. I asked her if she had anything more to say, and she looked furious, but went back to the bed with her child.
I was upset with how she overreacted but what she did next was outrageous. Emma didn’t know about the SPA. And after talking to me, Julia texted her to say that she was canceling the surprise and that it was because of me.
We packed our stuff and left first thing in the morning, before Julia woke up. Unfortunately, we forgot the car registration card at her place, so we had to go back. I decided I will save Emma from any extra drama and went back inside alone.
It was a good idea, because after she let me in, Julia immediately started to tell me how immature and disrespectful both of me and Emma were and that she was disappointed in us. I told her that she was crazy if she thought that after she texted Emma I would come to her begging for forgiveness and that by canceling the SPA plan, she ruined any chance for spending the rest of the weekend together. She told me to get out and started to insult me. When I left, she called me, but I blocked the call. She called Emma instead. She told Emma that after what I said to her she refuses to let us use her car and she demands to let it at our parents’ place (forgot to mention that the car was hers, she didn’t need it, so she borrowed it to me). I need that car to get to work, so she screwed me over.
We arrived at my parents and we explained what happened. I was surprised that they sided with Julia. They admitted that she might have overreacted but pointed that she still attends therapy and that it was it unnecessary for me to scold her. We (me and Emma) disagreed with them. My mom called me a hypocrite and spent most of the day on phone with my sister.
Emma wouldn’t talk much, but she was clearly upset with how the weekend turned around.
I don’t think I’m in the wrong, but just to make sure I decided to post that here.
So: Am I the asshole for calling my sister entitled?