I'm about to move so I'm parting with my record collection! Most if not all of these prices are the lowest you can find on Discogs so prices are pretty firm.
+$6 Media Mail Shipping for Unlimited Records (Shipping from Seattle, WA)
ask about shipping prices for outside CONUS!
PAYPAL G&S PREFERRED!
Everything is OPENED (Comes With Outer Sleeve)! VG+/VG+
Feel free to ask for photos, hype stickers, or general record condition!
⭐️: Hard to Find or (Rare) i.e. Not Readily Available for Retail Today
🔴 : Pending Payment!
Sorted by Artist in alphabetical order!

• 100 Gecs — 1000 Gecs (Black Vinyl)
• 100 Gecs — 1000 Gecs and The Tree of Clues (Ghostly Green RSD Vinyl)
• $20 Adrianne Lenker — Hours Were The Birds (Black Vinyl)
• Adrianne Lenker — Abysskiss (Gray in Clear Vinyl)
• $23 Adrianne Lenker — Songs and Instrumentals (Black Vinyl)
• $20 Adult Mom — Momentary Lapse of Happily (Red Vinyl)
• $13 Adult Mom — Soft Spots (CleaPink Split Vinyl)
• $13 Arca — KicK iii (Black Vinyl)
• Azealia Banks — 1991 (Black Vinyl)
• $40 ⭐️ Beabadoobee — Beatopia (Urban Outfitters Pink Vinyl)
• $24 Beyonce — Lemonade (Standard Yellow Vinyl)
• $18 Big Thief — Dragon New Warm Mountain, I Believe In You (Black Vinyl)
• $22 BLACKSTARKIDS — Whatever, Man (Standard Pink Vinyl)
• Blood Orange — Freetown Sound (Black Vinyl)
• Charli XCX — [Charli (Black Vinyl)
• $20 Charli XCX — How I'm Feeling Now (Transparent Orange Vinyl)
• $18 Charli XCX — CRASH (Indie Exclusive Gray Vinyl)
• Clario — [Sling (Black Vinyl)
• $22 Dorian Electra — Flamboyant (Blue/White Swirl Vinyl)
• $30 ⭐️ Dorian Electra — My Agenda Deluxe (SIGNED Green in Clear Vinyl)
• $18 Fiona Apple — Fetch The Bolt Cutters (Black Vinyl)
• Frankie Cosmos — Vessel (Black Vinyl)
• $22 Girlpool — Before The World Was Big (Standard Red Vinyl)
• $10 Girlpool — Powerplant (Purple Vinyl)
• $8 Girlpool — What Chaos is Imaginary (Pineapple Yellow Vinyl)
• $12 Girlpool — Forgiveness (Black Vinyl)
• $18 Indigo De Souza — Any Shape You Take (Indie Exclusive Tangerine Vinyl)
• $25 Indigo De Souza — All Of This Will End (Red/Yellow Burning Saturn Vinyl)
• Japanese Breakfast — Soft Sounds from Another Planet (Black Vinyl)
• $25 Japanese Breakfast — Jubilee (Turntable Lab Exclusive Yellow Vinyl) [This Pressing Has Small Noise Issues!]
• $14 Jazmine Sullivan — Heaux Tales (Black Vinyl)
• $16 Kero Kero Bonito — Bonito Generation (Standard Blue Vinyl)
• $60 ⭐️ Kero Kero Bonito — Time 'N' Place (Early Bird Multicolor Pink Vinyl)
• $16 Kero Kero Bonito — Civilization (Early Bird Gold Vinyl)
• Kilo Kish — Reflections in Real Time (VMP Smoke Vinyl)
• $16 Minari (Motion Picture Soundtrack) (Black Vinyl)
• $13 Mitski — Puberty 2 (Black Vinyl)
• Mitski — Be The Cowboy (Black Vinyl)
• $14 Mitski — Laurel Hell (Gray in Cloudy Clear Vinyl)
• $22 Mom Jeans — Best Buds (Green Swirly Vinyl)
• Moses Sumney — græ (Black/White/Gray Vinyl)
• Nilüfer Yanya — Miss Universe (Clear Vinyl)
• Nilüfer Yanya — Painless (Urban Outfitters Cloudy Clear Vinyl)
• 🔴 $12 Noso — Stay Proud Of Me (Standard Blue Vinyl)
• Phoebe Bridgers — Stranger In The Alps (Black Vinyl)
• Phoebe Bridgers — Copycat Killer EP (Mountain Blast Green Vinyl)
• $50 ⭐️ Rainbow Kitten Surprise — How To: Friend, Love, Freefall (Indie Purple Vinyl)
• $40 ⭐️ Remi Wolf — Juno (Urban Outfitters Pink Vinyl)
• $13 Rina Sawayama — Hold The Girl (Lava Orange Vinyl)
• $22 SASAMI — Squeeze (Clear Vinyl)
• Snail Mail — Lush (Black Vinyl)
• Soccer Mommy — Sometimes, Forever (Urban Outfitters Purple Vinyl)
• $20 Spellling — The Turning Wheel (Baby Blue Vinyl)
• SZA — CTRL (Standard Transparent Green Vinyl)
• $20 Trixie Mattel — The Pink and Blonde Albums (Urban Outfitters Pink/White Vinyl)
• $35 underscores — Wallsocket (D2C Milky Clear Vinyl)
• $45 Utada Hikaru — First Love (Import Black Vinyl)
• $35 Utada Hikaru — Fantôme (Import Black Vinyl)
• $60 ⭐️ Utada Hikaru — BAD MODE (Import Black Vinyl)
• $10 Waxahatchee — Ivy Trip (Black Vinyl)
• $10 Yola — Stand For Myself (Indie Pink Vinyl)
• 🔴 $20 Yves Tumor — Heaven To A Tortured Mind (Black Vinyl)
• 🔴 $20 Yves Tumor — Praise a Lord Who Chews ... (2xLP 45RPM Black Vinyl)

So, this topic is an interesting one and isn't talked about enough for me. Your house or apartment number radiates at a number based on the number itself it is one digit or the sequence being added into one.
For example, if you live in apartment 304, then your # will be 7 because you add all numbers until you get a single digit. If you live in an apartment that equals 7, you may find yourself extra inquisitive or connected to some type of contract or relationship. Some people living in 7 homes say that it ends up being related to ghosts and others notice it can be connected to learning about something more.
If you live in an apartment with 302, then your number will be 5. This is better than living in a 104/5 apartment because 104 is 14 and 14 is a karmic number. I actually lived in a 14/5 apartment which is a karmic debt number and this was after I didn't notify my income increase. 14 is taking advantage of a comfortable situation to get your way basically or in other words "dodging responsibility". It made a lot of sense when I looked into this. I didn't stay in the 14/5 apartment long. Since 302 isn't karmic, this may be a better 5 apartment or home to live in because 3 is connected to creativity, communication, friendship, and optimism. 2 is connected to cooperation, compassion, and love. This is probably a more ideal 5 energy to live under. You may notice an increase in your social activity and the excitement in your life.
No matter what your home or apartment number is, just add up all the digits until you get 1 digit and that is the number.
This is not focusing on the full address!
It is only your apartment or door number.
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We have an upcoming event. So far so good except for the registration part.
We have a mailer of 200 confirmed guests in our list. They have a QR code. We scan it and we now have the current count of actual people who attended. No problem.
Here's the Problem: We use avery sticker paper and print them, cut them, then sort them alphabetically for 200+ people. Once done, we let the registrants pick their name from the sorted list. This takes at least 4 hours of sitting for 1 person to do.
Is there a better way of doing this? Say, a portable printer that prints the name automatically real-time so no need to go with all these manual process?

 
Thank you for the continuing housewarming mail; I display it on my wall as a rotating gallery show , and then store it in archival boxes. I’m glad it’s part of my life, I'm glad you’re part of my life. This is a great community made up of truly genuine individuals - which is probably something difficult to say for anywhere else, online or offline. Without further ado, alphabetized thanks to:
 
u/cswl x 4 Thank you for these lovely notecards, opening this envelope was such a surprise. I hope you’re having a a nice spring and thanks for sharing all of this with me :)
u/draftyelectrolyte This is an amazing postcard. I didn’t even know big chunk of beef postcards were allowed, and, and! You shared one. Thank you! I will now have to find my nearest most authentic osteria even if I only end up eating orzo. Any recommendations for osteria in Whitestone? Queens? Nevermind I doubt anyone is reading body text on a thank you post :(
u/TheCaledonianRose Thank you for the housewarming wishes and the cool postcard! Your penmanship is lovely, and natural :)
u/charmingcorpses Thank you for this sweet sketch! As a cat owner (that must be the wrong word, they own me) this is deeply touching. Thank you. I had to check several times to see what company made this, so yeah, it’s good.
u/gemstone Thank you for this art postcard! Your message was sweet and your stamps were all awesome (Batman! for one!), thank you :)
u/inkyfingerspgs Thank you for the housewarming mail! I am exploring extensively, I take far too many solo walks :) Thank you!
u/josanne916 I can barely concentrate on the message of this postcard or the beautiful image on the front (los angeles!) because the handwriting is immaculate. Thank you! And you sent me a second! A beautiful blue (on the back) Tate postcard. Thank you! I wish we had known each other when I lived there (Seattle! Japantown), I’d like to think we’d’ve been friends :(
u/jubilanthello Thank you for this sweet postcard, the lovely doodles on the back (that little coffee cup deserves his own postcard, and that is not hyperbole or empty flattery), and the pretty daisy washi. Thanks for welcoming me back! I’m glad to return, but few people actually ~say~ that :)
u/keqani This did make me smile, because it’s a postcard I’ve sent out before (shouts to NYC!) - but with stickers and washi and so much prettier than I’ve ever, ever sent. I guess I have to up my game? Thank you!
u/littlemermaidxx Thank you for this super pretty fashion postcard and the (also fashionable) sticker (with hats!). Thank you!
u/ninajyang Thank you for this beautiful postcard! And the likewise beautiful washi (seriously that was like renaissance washi I’ve never seen such illustrated food on washi, amazing), and the bunny sticker (is this bunny in a shiso leaf? Outstanding), thank you and I hope you one day get a PO Box or someone to screen your mail because I can’t be the only person to want to send you amazing mail :)
u/princecowboy Oh no. This is amazing. Should I share this with a little boy who is obsessed with dogs or should I save it for me?! A conundrum (also thank you for this amazing mail)
u/relax455 x2 Thank you for this beautiful mail, x2 with the included blank postcard (did you guess I collect blank postcards or was it ~sorcery~, who knows), noticed you didn’t say who the artist was who painted the mushrooms on the front of the card - was it you, or are my eyes broken? It is beautiful and thank you for sharing!
u/saltyspidergwen Thank you for this lovely postcard art! And the stickers are really cool, I want some! They look like stained windows😍
u/talkingishard33 This is a beautiful card, thank you. And thanks for the cute stickers! Also your return mail labels are pristine and informative :)
u/t3ctim Thank your for this lovely postcard and the kind words. Admittedly your name always makes me think ‘hopefully not a victim of bears’ but it probably means something else. Thank you for sharing this, I love the colours and images!
u/Thrwy56790 I hope I got all your numbers right. Thank you for a sweet, lovely aquatic painting, and for the design on the envelope.
u/tiredpantyhose Dang I hope I got your username right. Thank you for sharing this gorgeous postcard with me! And the washi! The fat little pandas cooking eggs and being so competent with bread! Thank you (and if you’re ok with sharing please tell me where you got that washi because I’ll put it on my correspondence you can PM me NO PRESSURE)
u/travel4me22 Thank you for this lovely floral postcard. I’m enjoying the spring weather in NY because it’s ratcheting up slowly and therefore good for blooms. I hope you’re having a nice spring (even with crazy temp fluctuations)
u/wabisabi_sf Thank you for the ~swirly~ postcard. You’re always such a kind and generous correspondent. It’s appreciated!
 
Thank you all for sending me mail! Thank you for being amazing people invested in the awesome experiment that is RAOC. I’ve been a Southerner, a West Coaster, a peripatetic American, and then an east coaster, and the whole time you guys have been nothing but welcoming and accepting. Gonna make more art soon just for y’all. Until then, thank you, and please don’t change.
 
Love you,
GS

I’ve been in love with my cabin Rimowa in mango color! I also have been able to get some of the city stickers to the places I’ve been to as well as the alphabet sticker book. Now I’m wondering if it’ll be too much color? I like the clean look as it is now but I’m in love with the customization of the stickers but feel like it might look better on the aluminum luggage as opposed to mine.
And if you were to place stickers, would you place it spaced out or all together in one spot, kind of overlapping ? Thanks for your suggestions!

For anyone who thinks about purchasing the physical OST (Standard Edition) CDs for P3R:
First of all: If you dislike the rework of the Soundtrack, there is nothing in this package that justifies the price tag.
Secondly: The OST is meant for a japanese audience. There is no translation provided for anything. There aren't even any furigana, cause of course there aren't. Why would there? Hope you practiced your Kanji.
If you can deal with that, here is what you are getting for your (at least [see 5.3]) 3850 円:
​
1) Purchasing the physical ost for P3 Reload will get you a few goodies:
1.1) Besides the physical disks you'll get access to a download version of the OST. This one is available as a .wav or a .mp3. Each of these three choices are way better than the .exe format of the digital souldtrack. Information to the music files:
With a non japanese OS all file names that use kanji will be rendered completely unrecognizable.
The file name for the track "全ての人の魂の詩" will become "Disc1_02_sà¿püªpü«S¦¦pü«T¡épü«F¬¬ (P3R ver.)". I don't know the original file name but it seems like it should have been something along the lines of "Disc1_02_全ての人の魂の詩(P3R ver.)".
The track names in the file data should be read properly though, so your media player of choice should display the kanji correctly.
When ripping the CDs the file names will be the same as the track names of the downloaded version. On the other the windows media player could not read the title, contributing artists and album name properly, mostly displaying all kanji and kana als questionmarks.
Side note: In contrast to the CDs for the P3, P3P, P4G, P5 and P5R OST the standard rip path for P3R will be "useMusic\アトラスサウンドチーム\ペルソナ3 リロード オリジナル・サウンドトラック[Disc Nr.]". Previous CDs had another path,"User\Music\ATLUS\目黒将司\OST_Disc_Folder_Name". I don't know why they changed it.
There is another problem though: The ost will be sorted inside the folders "/Disc1" "/Disc2" and "/Extra". Each folder has it's contents track number go from 1 upwards, BUT the album name in each of the file data will be the same. So you may have your Mediaplayer auto sort your P3R playlist like this: Extra#1 -> Disk1#1 -> Disk2#1 -> Extra#2 -> Disk1#2 -> Disk2#2 ect. Be careful when you create your playlist if the order of tracks matters to you. Either sort alphabetically via file name or, when sorting via track name, add the disks one by one.
Attention: The downloaded version of the tracks seem to be higher quality than the ripped version from your CD. eg. Full Moon Full Life as a Downloaded .mp3 is 9.40 MB and as a CD Ripped .mp3 it is 4.47 MB. The ripped version has the same bit rate but lacks other data like cover art.
Regarding audio quality: Even after extensive listening with different audio systems I could'nt hear any difference between downloaded and ripped versions. My ears aren't that good though.
The soundtrack is recorded in stereo format. (Sadly there is no 5.1 version of the OST. Endless Space pampered me a little ^^')
The downloaded version includes two bonus tracks that are quite nice. Those tracks are alternative versions of "Burn my Bread" and "Deep Breath Deep Breath".
In conclusion: Between ripping and downloading the OST, downloading seems to be the superior option.
1.2) You will get stickers with portraits of the whole protag cast. Those stickers are 2.5 cm x 3 cm or 1 in x 1.1 in
These stickers do not include Strega members or the Chairman. Too bad if you ask me.
1.3) You'll get a booklet. The booklet is of good quality and includes comments by the ATLUS Staff.
These comments are printed over the "All Out Attack" slides of each character. Aegis' slide is still in the booklet, but hers has no comment printed overit.
Those comments are all in japanese.
The lyrics of the songs are all in their original language. English stays English, Latin stays Latin and japanese stays japanese. As mentioned before: no furigana. They are printed over a single color gradient portrait of one of the SEES members. This time Aegis gets Text printed over her as well. To rectify this stunning display of disrespect towards the best toaster in all of fiction Aegis gets a second page with lyrics. This time in full colour and off to the side so she is displayed completely. I guess the art designer has a Fav among the OCs. The last page for the lyrics is a double page with all the protagonists and antagonists besides the Chairman. Interestingly enough this picture shows neither Orpheus nor Messiah. But in the back, on the side of the antagonists, you can see Thanathos hovering over the moon of the dark hour. The last double page is Door-kun again with some info about the artists and other ATLUS staff members.
1.4) The CD case is solid plastic and comes with one of those paperback-wrappy-thingies you will not know what to do with after taking the CD case out of the plastic wrapping. The case has the CDs in the front and the back, with an additional page in the middle. This one holds the booklet, the stickers and the Student ID Card / m-card. The Card holder and the booklet are a little too small so the stubs meant to hold those items in place dont function too well. Opening and closing the CD case may result in violently flinging merchandise all over the place.
The CDs themselfes have a unsurprising design. Disc 1is a gray Gekkoukan High Logo and Disc 2 has the green breaking clock you see, when entering the dark hour. The booklet has shares the logo of P3R with Door-Kun in his new SEES Special uniform. The background art behind the CDs is light blue with a small P3 Reload print above two white-ish wavy lines.
1.5) You will get a Gekkoukan High Student ID card. The bar-code on the front reads "GEKKOUKAN" and the Backside of the card is a m-card.
2) What is a m-card?
2.1) m-card.info is a japanese hosting site. As far as I see it, it has no alternative language options besides japanese. To my knowledge (not really good japanese reading skills) the CDs booklet and the terms of service of m-card say, that m-card is a Japan only service. Either way, you do not seem to need a VPN to access all services and can use google translate to navigate the site. I accessed m-card with an european IP Adress and it worked flawlessly.
2.2) The QR code in the top right of the m-card (The backside of the Student ID card) will get you to m-card item 1983. You can also manually enter the link right above your download code.
To access your bonus items you have to log in. Possible ways to log in are Line, Facebook or Twitter. You can also generate an m-card account to access the downloadable content. I tested an european Line account and it worked perfectly fine.
2.3) The m-card homepage may be accessed with reasonable up to date versions of Windows, mac and Android Systems. I did not test Linux. There is an FAQ that you can translate via google if need be. There seems to be a few cool features possible with MAC, but I don't care enough to read through all of that or summarise it.
3) Via the m-card you'll get:
3.1) A download button for the OST as a .mp3 or a .wav. These will be downloaded as .zip archives and will include the two bonus tracks mentioned in 1.1. The download will be done by your browser. You can start the download and then close the tab as soon as the download starts, the file will be downloaded regardles.
3.2) A "Making of P3R OST Bonus Tracks" as a stream. This vid is all japanese without substitles.
m-card does reccomend to stream on a pc. Smartphones sometimes do not work.
Mind that the stream may crash if you first start the stream and then start the download of the ost. You will have to refresh the page in your browser to start the stream again.
I did not find an easy way to download this vid. Neither on the page itself nor in the page source code. When the page goes offline in april 26 the making of may become lost media, so if there is a savwy archivist around: Go for it!
As I see it there is no countermeasure for screen recording during the stream. But I assume that this is against the terms of service.
4) Things to be careful about:
4.1) After activating your m-card code you'll have 5 to 6 months to watch the stream and download the OST inkl. bonus tracks. After this your code expires. Don't ask me why please. I don't know either.
4.2) In April 2026 Item 1983 will no longer be hosted on m-card. If you aquire a legit, unused download code after this date it may still be inoperable.
5) Final thoughts:
5.1) If you where able to download the music from the digital ost, the physical CD set would most likely be obsolete. But, since ATLUS wants all the money they what they did and made the digital ost, as well as the digital deluxe edition a scam. Data Storage costs literaly nothing. You can rent a server for a few years and it will hardly cost you, so the time limited download of the bonus tracks is only meant to trigger fomo. Stop it ATLUS. How about not trying to be a moneyhungry monster for once?
5.2) On the one hand the bonus tracks and a few stickers do not justify relatively high price tag but on the other hand you will still be able to call those CDs your own, even if someone messes with the Steam servers (not likely), your local government restricts access to foreign servers (depends on where you live) or legal issues between Steam / PSN / Microsoft and Atlus arise (For anything besides PSN I can actually see that one happening) Besides that you can display those CDs in one of your shelves, so you can be happy to see where your money went, even if there is a power outage.
5.3) With a price tag of 3.850 円 the CDs themselfes are on the higher end of the spectrum. Additionaly you may have even more costs for shipping, import fees, handling fees or all of those at once. Thus the price may triple if you live outside of Japan.
5.4) Is it worth it? To me? Yes. I am sure though, that not every one shares my opinion. This is why I made this post, so you can have a better understanding what you get for your money.

Despite what SBZ partners told you so - last update is just such a blast. It would have been better if SBZ actually write the changes they made or keep a better track of their hard work, but still.
I am going to list the mods that I've been using, and that's still working with 1.1.3 version, for those who want to catch-up the mod scene.
If you have a negative thing to say, or a criticism for PAYDAY 3? Good for you, please keep it outside of this thread, there are hundreds of threads in this sub-reddit for that purposes. Thank you.
Before we start, please; ADD A LAUNCH OPTION TO THE GAME Depending which platform you install the game, this might be vary.
In Steam, you can find it by right-clicking into game, and pressing Properties. In Epic Games, you can find it by right-clicking into game, and pressing Manage.
From the window it's opened you can go into launch options and add -fileopenlog into the space.
And don't forget to; CREATE A MODS FOLDER Find where your PAYDAY 3 copy is installed. The location of this folder will vary depending on your installation preferences & storefront.
After downloading a mod, extract the contents/move the mod into PAYDAY3/Content/Paks/~mods. Create the folder if necessary.
UE4SS is not completely supported for PAYDAY 3, so I do NOT recommend it. But there is something I definitely recommend; DOWNLOAD THE LOGIC MOD LOADER This simple .pak file is requirement for some mods, and it's better if you keep it in your mod folder. Created by Narknon. Please, download it from here.
Inside of your mods folder, you can set as many folders as you desire - and you can change the name of the .pak mods, but I do not recommend it, you might break compatibility patches, load orders etc. So please, don't do this unless you know what are you doing.
You can go into the mod page by clicking onto mod names. These links are set in 2/5/24 - so if domain changes in the future, those may not work.
To download a mod, please click the button in the right area where mod thumbnail is located. Following mods are alphabetically sorted in categories;

Fixes & Improvements

Advanced Photo Mode Submitted by Nadz
PAYDAY 3's world is extremely detailed and beautiful. It's a shame that we can't take pict- well, now you can! Nadz, a.k.a Shalashaska, an extremely talented unreal modder, grant us with this piece of art.
Screenshots taken in game will save to PAYDAY3\PAYDAY3\Screenshots in your game directory.
Better Weapon Preview Submitted by Luffy ^{This mod requires Logic Mod Loader.}
Improves the gun customization screen by removing the limits of how much you can zoom and where you can move your gun. Comes handy when you want to see details of charms and stickers, and minor details when you paint. See it on action yourself.
There are two versions; one with depth of field effect in the background as vanilla game does and the other with not, for improving the functionality. It's a minor annoyance, and I like DOF - so I picked the normal version but it's really up to you.
Pulsing Civilian Outline Submitted by Ema
Changes the blue outline that freed civilians have that's added in 1.1.2 with the pulsing outline; so they have when they're able to be traded, providing a more consistent visual experience.
Simple, but very essential mod to change the dark blue outline that's not fitting the colour scheme of the game. See how it works, and meanwhile you're watching it, give her a sub, she deserves a lot more :3
Signature 40 Sights Emission Submitted by Unselles
Adding an actually illuminated sights to the starting pistol. I hope this be a trend for more weapons in future. This is how it looks like.
UE4 Sound Fix Submitted by HW12Dev ^{Author stated that this mod might not work in Xbox Gamepass version.}
This mod does not excessively fixing an audio bug, but fixes a function for blueprints mods to follow. It might come in handy for you in future.
WAR-45 Correct Ammo Submitted by Item
Starbreeze shipped the wrong ammo type! It supposed to be 45. ACP as like the name of the gun states for, not 22LR. This mod is here to fix that mistake, like this.

Graphics

Cook Off LED Bulbs Submitted by Ema
Another essential mod by the very talented Ema, that's changes the orange incandescent light bulbs with more natural coloured ones. Recommended for the players who like to see actual colours. Goes really great with the mods that fight for the same cause.
Here's an example. Compatible with mods that currently changes up lightning in this heist, the moment I've writing this.
Escape Van OVERKILL Submitted by Higgue
Like the author mentioned in their description; what doesn't look great with an Overkill bomb slapped on the side of it?
Comes with two different versions; one that's exact replica from PAYDAY 2 and one changes that current design of van with Overkill logo. I like current design, and it's really good with Overkill logo - but the other is there if you like it.
HET-5 Thermal Target Tweak Submitted by CzRSpecV
While this mod is technically not up to date, because one of the undocumented changes that SBZ did with last update is reducing the tint of Red Fox's thermal scope, but this mod is still working great regardless.
Replaces the thermal targeting system on the HET-5. There is two versions of the mod, the light one is a reworked dash outline with a center of mass indicator, and the redux one removes the outline entirely and just adds the center of mass indicator.
I like light one better, but if you want a simpler design, it's up to you.
Legacy Tactical Outfit Submitted by Dorpenka and columbus
Replaces the Echelon Outfit with the Legacy Tactical from PAYDAY 2. It's not only looks better, because white shirt looks off, it also fixes several clipping issues. It also works on buffed Chains!
Less Green Heists Submitted by Ema
Another Ema W, and personally, my favourite mod in this list - sorry for favouritism - but this is just essential.
You might noticed, some heists have coloured tint. While I appreciate the artistic decisions, honestly, it's just too much!
A collection of .paks that allow you to disable color grading in all heists. While this mod is updated to work, for future references; mod can break whenever the game updates, so if you experience any strange visual issues (skybox flickering, invisible models) that may be why.
This is how No Rest For The Wicked looks like in vanilla and this is how Ema saved it. You can go through the mod images to see more compressions. Definitely a must have. You can also remove it from heists that you don't wanna see correct colours!
Snub Silencer Size Fix Submitted by bizzy
It is too big and you cant look over the sight. This mod tend to fix it. Like author said; download SnubSilencerSizeFix_SHORT.pak for the good version. Other versions are supposed to be a joke additions, but if it's your thing, nobody will hold you back.

Music & Audio

Call Them Tasers Submitted by Higgue, Allen Scott and ๖ۣۜFULLY-SEMI-AUTOMATIC.
This mod replaces any vocal instances of Zapper with Taser. All performances in this mod are the product of training AI on data the original voice actors.
So AI is not your thing, I just want to give a heads-up. But be honest, nobody can either afford or give effort to hire VA's for a simple thing like this.
As person who played PAYDAY for more then 10 years; this is an essential for me. Listen how it sounds like. But be sure the only thing you dead name are Tasers. Ok, maybe Twitter too.
Early Version Menu Track Submitted by SenpaiKillerFire
PAYDAY 3 early version this, early version that. I'm happy with the last state PAYDAY 3 in. But one thing for sure, this menu track is definitely better.
Okay, maybe it's because I hear the default version for 1000 hours now, but still. I think this supposed to be a certified Gustavo Coutinho banger, but I'm not sure.
There are two different versions, but they are extremely similar, I think. You can listen it yourself from here for the first version and here for the second version. Personally, the second version is perfect world between the first and the current versions, but it's up to you.
Modern Warfare 2022 Sound Pack Submitted by smiley and RJC9000
One thing I definitely agree with them haters, is how weak some weapons sounds are. This mod in other hand, is about to fix it. I might have been tested all other sound mods, but this one stuck with me. You can listen how guns sounds like with this mod, from here.

USER INTERFACE

AI Colors Submitted by Calinou
A simple edit of the HUD where you can see the BOT text changed into a colour of your choice. I liked the yellow most, I feel it fits with other colours in the HUD, but there are options to pick from.
Bag Tracker Submitted by abkarino ^{This mod is not hosted in modworkshop, to download it, please use the manual download button, it's the first button on the top right corner.}
Now you can see how many you secured and how many remaining bags while in heist. There are options to take, it's up to you. I'm using abkarino_BagTracker_P v1.1 for not clutter my user experience.
Colored Chat Submitted by abkarino ^{This mod is not hosted in modworkshop, to download it, please use the manual download button, it's the first button on the top right corner.}
Have different colours for different players in chat. Makes easier to distinct players in action, and it looks better.
Infamy Icon Rewards Submitted by Snifft
I hate IP text. This mod changes it into an infamy card from PAYDAY 2. Only tent to appear in challenges menu.
sydch's UI Submitted by... me? and Nadz, Ema and Larmendra
Did you ever think, that some icons looks like stock images? Or why some skill descriptions are basically doing same thing in different way, but worded so... differently? Or why descriptions looks so bland at first place?
I did. So I made this mod. It's modular at some aspect, so you can pick and use whatever you want.
PAYDAY Blues and Greens Submitted by me, again
Changes Adaptive Armor color to 28ADFB Picton Blue, which was the color of PAYDAY 2's logo. To make default armors distinctive, changes Armor Linings color to 149458 Shamrock Green, which is pretty dominant in PAYDAY 3's color palette. Also changes Adrenaline color to E8483B Vermillion, because it's a complimentary color to two other colors, and also reminds PAYDAY: The Heist's logo.

And that's it.

Feel free to drop mods into the comments if you recommend one, and if you want to browse more mods; feel free to check either modworkshop or nexus mods, and be sure to not use sketchy websites that steal mods from the others.

I was discussing having a Little's Day with a friend and what we could do that didn't involve either of us being glued to a screen or spending much money. I like being an actively involved CG for day long occasions, and sometimes the weather's bad and going outside is yucky, so we brainstormed inside activities. We came up with the following but I thought I'd ask for other suggestions from the many creative and inventive wee folk here 😊
Possibilities:

• Start a Little diary and decorate it
• Make a wishlist of things that help to feel Little and make a Little's corner
• Do jigsaw puzzles
• Play dress-up
• Make collages
• Have a nap, with favourite stuffies and blankets
• Play with toys/stuffies
• Build a stuffie den
• Read stories or be read to (warning, impromptu naps may occur)
• Practice alphabet and numbers
• Decorate with stickers
• Press flowers/collect leaves
• Make a blanket fort
• Finger painting
• Make music or play an instrument
• Play make-believe
• Read picture books
• Coloring/drawing with crayons or markers
• Listening to lullabies/soothing music
• A fun bubble bath with bath toys like rubber duckies and bath crayons to draw on the bathtub walls
• Dancing: bounce, wiggle, and shake
• Bake some cookies or make cupcakes
• Draw possible stuffie designs for me to sew
• Plant seedlings
• Paint nails (hands and feets)
• String fairy lights in the blanket fort, make a cozy Little's nest, and read favourite stories to them.

Other ideas?

i dont know why, maybe because I opened today and was a bit sleep deprived, but this interaction annoyed me in a very particular way LOL:
I took a woman’s order, my bar partner was in the back trying to find lids and i didn’t have any more customers so i walked to bar to make the drink myself. Our hand off counter also has a table like a traditional bar with 3 high chairs where customers can sit, which was recently repurposed as the new mobile hand off with alphabet stickers to indicate to customers where to find their drink, and only one chair remained that is by the wall and leaves only enough space so that one person can sit if they don’t move the chair.
The woman moves the chair so that she’s sitting directly on top of where the “A-G” alphabet sticker is, her arms are covering the sticker. She gets up to go look at our pastry case, I finish a mobile order for a customer with a “B” name so I call it out and place it by the sticker, and then I call her drink out with her name and place it at the hand off counter. She comes back, so I repeat that her order is ready on the side, she ignores me and sit downs and I see her grab the mobile order, so once again i say “i’m sorry that’s a mobile order, your drink is ready on the side here”. She says “what?? it’s not mine?” gets up, gets her drink, sits back down in front of the mobile, AND MOVES IT OUT OF THE WAY. 😭
Immediately i grabbed it and moved it right back in front of where it’s supposed to be, said “i’m sorry this is the mobile hand off area, please move your chair over a little bit thank you”. She moved her chair without saying anything but i dont know why it annoyed me that she could clearly see the stickers and the fact that there were no chairs in that area, and not only chose to sit there but to MOVE the drink I had set down and had basically yelled and identified to the whole cafe. omg.

Not sure if I posted in this group or a different one but I just don’t know what to do any more.. my DH and I are expecting our second child, first one we lost via mc back in 22.. When we first told them about the first one my MIL reaction seemed unconcerned and she said “well you can just try again, I think you should!” From then to now we’ve gotten married and are now expecting another, all good with this one :) ..
Long to short wedding planning was a nightmare with her being involved and over bearing and over stepping my own mother to the point where I started to realize why her one son and dil do not speak, see or reach out to her at all.
When we found out I was pregnant (August) I told my DH that I didn’t want anyone to know, I didn’t want it on any social media and I don’t want it to be like headline news, his parents are notorious for running their mouths about other peoples news. My parents were the first ones to know. We waited until I was about 3 months (December) until we told his parents, which made my extremely stressed out because his mom is literally insane, she flys off the handle at pretty much anything, and because during this time she stopped talking to us, no texting, no calling, nothing since the end of August. Their reaction was to be expected they were “excited”, mil asked how far along I was and I said 13-14 weeks and her response was “that’s how far I was when I lost my first one, but that already happened to you, so you’re good”, I just dismissed it..Since telling them we told them to keep it to themselves and not to tell anyone, seems like they did so that’s a plus. As time goes on and holidays come around my MIL only reaches out to my DH about plans I tell him it’s up to him what we do with his family. Mil Xmas gift to me was a box of expired “belly lotion” that she picked up from a flea market / garage sale at some point I know this because it had the little 2$ sticker still on it… I threw it out when I got home.. mind you she’s still has not reached out to me to see how I’m doing, how I’m feeling, nothing at all, doesn’t even bring it up to my husband and she doesn’t ask until we’re leaving how I’m doing my answer is and always has been I’m fine no complaints. We’re going on about 6 months pregnant at this point and she still hasn’t reached out to either of us to see how things are going, until we go over on one weekend for her birthday, where she tells us while she’s jumping up and down like a child “IM SO EXCITED” saying that she has the family cradle downstairs in the play room all set up for our baby to sleep in and that she just doesn’t know what to pick off the registry to get me, I give a little “mmm” and walk away because how can you be excited for someone when you have literally no idea what’s going on and still expect to be involved?
Still going to now for my baby shower this past weekend I plan the whole thing myself with my mom, bc MIL ambushed my bridal shower and changed everything my girls had planned, not letting her do that again. She shows up wearing a hot pink dress while I’m also wearing a pink dress while everyone else is in a blueish or neutral color, like she’s trying to steal the spotlight, she makes me give her a hug while saying “I’ve been looking for you” as if it’s that hard I’m the one in the pink dress idiot. I didn’t have an open bar for the baby shower just a cash bar, no one was drinking except her and she told the table she was sitting with “you only live once am I right” and had 4 hard liquor mixed drinks within 3 hours. I had made a first alphabet book she completely took over drawing “D is for .. Daddy” and draws a picture of my husband.. we both thought it was creepy.
My husband and I don’t want much to do with her and know it’s just going to cause more issues the closer we get and I don’t know how to get my husband on board to go very low contact or even no contact because I don’t trust her to be around me or my baby. We’ve both agreed on rules and boundaries but we know if we explain them to her she won’t listen and she’ll freak out. I just don’t know what to do anymore, my husband understands that I’m first in line now but doesn’t want to shut her out completely, in fear she’ll do something stupidly drastic…

Dear RAoC;
 
Thank you for my housewarming mail, it was lovely to see your individual tastes and types of mail - depending on the day, and my mood, I have different favourites. They are all lovely, appreciated, and make my current rather boring days a bit more exciting.
 
Alphabetized thanks to:
 
u/aepeyc Thank you for this lovely card. I love Hopper, I love the Met, I love this card. Thank you!
u/DianaPenPal I got a weird wave of nostalgia when I saw this - the best kind of weird, the wow I LOVE this place and I miss it kind. Thank you so much!
u/ghostchild25 x2 I think double thanks are in order for this sweet note (I should follow a different type of rainbow from now on!), the recipes and stickers. Thank you!
u/knightinthesky Sadly I must admit ignorance of this artist until now - so thank you for bringing new art into my life! It’s a lovely postcard and I hope to visit the MFA one day so that was extra exciting. Thank you!
u/mediocre_Radish_7216 Thank you for this lovely handmade card! And thank you for sharing something you’ve had for a while, that’s so sweet. The Blue Ridge Mountains are pretty special. Thank you!
u/Rand_ston Thank you for this lovely postcard, and the most amazing depiction of a kangaroo I’ve ever seen. It definitely brought some happiness to my new home :)
u/rennbrig Thank you for the lovely postcard, and it did definitely make me smile. The snail drawing is SUPER cute too!
u/TyeDyeAmish A vintage postcard! Thank you so much (and I love your return address label with the little bear)!
 
I’m sure more thanks will be on the way; my post office is rather lackadaisical and keeps irregular hours, but the staff are unfailingly polite, haven’t lost any of my mail so far, and I have decided to never rush anything ever again. In conclusion: more thanks at a later date.

Have any of you seen this? An instructor gives an exam and while grading it later, there is an exam with a fake name and student ID on it. The score is really low and there is not much evidence of effort. What we think is happening is that a student in the room brings an accomplice, who is not enrolled in the class, to take the exam for them. The accomplice has the student's name and ID on their test, while the real student has a fake name on theirs. Both sit through the exam. When it comes time to hand in the test, they just hand them in. If student IDs are being checked at that point, the impostor would have to get their exam to the real student somehow. If student IDs are not being checked, both hand in their exams and leave. Although the impostor could just leave without handing anything in, it seems to be a kind of deliberate 'screw you' to the instructor to hand in the fake student exam, perhaps to infuriate them.
I have seen this happen several times in a large introductory class with over 300 students in the room, so there was no way to catch it. But it has happened in smaller classes of fewer than 60.
I'm looking for suggestions for catching or preventing this type of cheating. One could make it more difficult, if not impossible, by going desk to desk and checking Photo IDs (checking against a class photo roster, if your campus has them), and making sure there are no impostors in the room. This takes time, and in a large class the impostor could finish and hand in the exam and leave before their IDs were checked. A seating plan could make it easier to look up each student, but this could be hard to enforce.
Any other ideas?
Edit: Thank you all for your suggestions. For an upcoming exam I will print stickers with student names/IDs and color photos, affix to each exam, and use an alphabetical seating arrangement. As the exam starts I will check each photo ID against each exam. Other suggestions, which included checking IDs before giving an exam, may be less practical to implement during the term as there is a class before and a class after, but I shall keep them in mind for the future. Certainly we can do this for the final, where there is a much larger block of allocated time during and between exams.

Good morning. US stock futures dipped in Thursday morning trading as Wall Street continues to parse big tech corporate earnings.
S&P 500 -0.57% Dow -0.43% Nasdaq -0.86%
✈️ US sets new rules for airline fees, refunds
📝 Our report: Hold onto your tray tables! The U.S. Transportation Department is putting the finishing touches on new rules that'll make airlines spill the beans upfront about all those pesky fees and even dish out refunds for delayed baggage or wonky Wi-Fi. The rules, which were nearly three years in the works, will require airlines and ticket agents to tell consumers upfront about baggage or change and cancellation fees. The department said consumers are expected to save $543 million annually in excess airline fees.
🔑 Key points:

• The new rules require airlines and ticket agents to disclose extra service fees alongside the full fare, the first time fare and schedule information is displayed online.
• "Airlines should compete with one another to secure passengers’ business—not to see who can charge the most in surprise fees," said U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.
• Last month, a U.S. Senate Committee said it was stepping up its investigation into billions of dollars in yearly airline fees, noting between 2018 and 2022, total revenue across major U.S. airlines from baggage fees increased from $4.9 billion to $6.8 billion.

💡 So what: The US government's new rules for airline fees and refunds aim to increase transparency and accountability, benefiting passengers with clearer pricing and improved service standards. However, airlines may face challenges in compliance and operational adjustments, potentially impacting their profitability and competitiveness in the industry.
🎵 Biden signs bill to potentially ban TikTok
WHAT: US President Joe Biden just gave TikTok an ultimatum: either break up with ByteDance or risk getting banned nationwide. The new bill requires ByteDance to sell TikTok within nine months — or a year, if Biden invokes a 90-day extension — or else face a nationwide ban in the U.S.
WHY: TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew posted a video response to the enactment of the TikTok bill, calling it a “disappointing moment” and reiterating the company’s commitment to challenge it.
​
🤖 UK probes big tech firms over AI partnerships
WHAT: Looks like the U.K.'s Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) is snooping around to see if Microsoft, Amazon, and a trio of AI startups are playing a little too cozy. The announcement comes amid growing scrutiny of Big Tech's approach to M&A in the world of AI, where critics argue that the so-called "quasi-merger" has emerged as the flavor of the day as a means of bypassing regulatory scrutiny
WHY: Earlier this year, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) launched its own enquiries into Alphabet, Amazon and Microsoft's various investments in emerging AI companies to establish whether the "partnerships pursued by dominant companies risk distorting innovation and undermining fair competition." "
🔍 Investigation launched into weight loss drug prices
WHAT: The U.S. Senate is on the case, investigating why Novo Nordisk's weight loss and diabetes drugs, Ozempic and Wegovy, are causing sticker shock in the States compared to elsewhere. Senator Bernie Sanders asked Novo Nordisk’s CEO in a letter how the price of the drugs is determined and the amount the pharmaceutical company spends on research and development.
WHY: Before insurance, Novo Nordisk charges about $1,000 per month for Ozempic and roughly $1,350 for Wegovy. A study last month said that Ozempic could be manufactured for less than $5 a month.
​

Finale
The Brooks Brother’s Hardware store stood alone on its main street block. Chipped layers of white-washed paint contrasted the darkness inside the tall narrow windows. Faded posters advertising Case knives and hand tools hung in the ground level windows, but the only thing in the second story windows, was a thick layer of cobwebs. Tonight, however the faint flicker of candle light betrayed the fact someone was upstairs.
The autumn breeze carried my breath away in white puffs as I lingered across the street, gripping my Maglite in shivering hands. I missed my coat, purposefully forgotten inside a few hours earlier. I took a deep breath of cold air and stepped into the street.

I started working for Mr. Brooks after getting passed over for an internship with the Henderson Falls Gazette. I was interested in investigative journalism and thought the internship would be a great segue into that career, and might even lead to a job covering the police beat after I graduated. At any rate, it would look great on a resume. Unfortunately, the editor’s son got the position, and I found myself turning in an application to Henderson Falls’ oldest business.
I think part of the reason Mr. Brooks hired me was so he could have a captive audience. As a senior member of the county’s historical society and a frequent contributor to the local paper, his mind was a repository for obscure and trivial facts about local history, especially as it pertained to his family. He never missed an opportunity to bring up Captain Brooks, one of the earliest members of his family to settle in Henderson County, Civil War hero, and founder of the Brooks Brothers’ Hardware Store.
Mr. Brooks kept a family history scrapbook with a section detailing the life, military service, and entrepreneurial pursuits of this earliest known relative. Clippings from the historical society’s newsletter mingled with pages copied from Civil War history books and hand-written notes from Mr. Brooks himself. They painted a clear, albeit concise picture of the man’s life.
According to the Old Man, Captain Brooks settled near Henderson Falls with his family at the age of 12, just in time for the 1850 census. The 1860 census, listed him as head of a household with 2 children. In 1861, records of troops mustered from Henderson County show he enlisted in the 34^th Ohio Infantry in either in April or May. Somehow, though probably through breveting, he obtained the rank of Captain by the end of the war. Shortly after, he returned to his family and started the Brooks Brothers Lumber company, later expanding into building materials and general hardware. By the time the 1880s arrived, Brooks Brothers’ Hardware Store was the largest building in town, boasting 2 storys, a scale for the grist mill, and even a spur off the B. & O. Railroad.
“And you know what else Tommy,” Mr. Brooks would say. “The Captain might’a gone to the house of representatives too if it weren’t for all that trouble with them damn Leylands.”
I nodded politely the first few times I heard about Captain Brooks. The stories were interesting, but you can only be so invested in the history of someone else’s relative. As Summer came to an end and I began my Junior year at Henderson Falls High, the Old Man moved on from talking about Captain Brooks, and started telling me about the history of Brooks Brothers’ Hardware itself. According to Mr. Brooks, post-Civil War Ohio saw a veritable boom in industry, construction, and manufacturing; and his family’s hardware store was there just in time to take advantage of it. He claimed Brooks Brothers sold many of the furnishings to the courthouse when it was refurbished in 1867, served as the county’s largest retail store, even stocked some of the first cans of paint from some up-and coming paint store out of Cleveland. You could tell from the gleam in his eye and the excitement in his words, he still looked at Brooks Brothers as a major business concern in Henderson Falls. I humored him. In spite of the once great store’s run-down appearance, shrinking nightly bank deposits, and dwindling customer base, Mr. Brooks’ enthusiasm was infectious.
That long summer stocking shelves, cleaning and making minor repairs familiarized me with all the quirks of the place. I knew the third bank of lights took longer to turn on because the ballasts were going bad. I could walk over the sagging hardwood floors without looking down. I even knew about the long crack creeping up the masonry, hidden behind a banner advertising a defunct brand of lead paint. The only part of the store I hadn’t ventured into was the second floor.
One slow, rainy day in June while looking for something to do, I decided to sort through the pile of merchandise covering the stairs behind the counter. The clutter on the bottom steps was all overstock: 16 penny nails, drywall screws, spools of fence wire, things it made sense to keep in the store instead of the warehouse. But the higher up the stairs I looked the older and more out of place the items seemed. Old tangles of hemp rope, wooden pulley blocks, asbestos floor tiles, even a box of old cut nails, rendered the path upstairs all but impassable. I climbed the first few steps, curious to see what else was in the heap of inventory when Mr. Brooks shouted at me.
“You! Get down from there, boy!” His voice shook with anger. I had no idea what caused my mild-mannered boss to go ballistic like that. In the few seconds it took for me to clamber around the junk back downstairs, Mr. Brooks’ expression softened back into that of a friendly old man.
“I didn’t mean to snap at you like that Tommy, but it ain’t safe up there.”
“I’m sorry Mr. Brooks. I just noticed all this inventory laying around and thought it’d look better if these things were cleared away.”
He raised a wrinkled hand, dismissing my concern. “I know you were just trying to help, but you need to stay down here. I haven’t been up there since the 50s.”
“Why not? The upstairs seems like a great place for storing inventory.”
The old man scratched his stubble. “If it was safe up there, you bet I’d keep some of our stock up there. I don’t trust that floor though. You’ve seen the ceiling over there next to the paint mixer?” He gestured to the front of the store, where a thin sheet of veneer plywood covered a swath of tiles on the high ceiling.
“I was up there one day, rough housing with my kid brother, Mike, you’ve never met him. Well anyway, we both ended up wraslin’ over a weak spot on the floor. The roof must’a had a leak and dry-rotted it. Long story short, my dad had to pull me and Mikey both out of the hole by our Buster Browns. Believe me, there’s no reason for you to go up there.”

My keys jangled as I turned the lock. I looked over my shoulder one last time, scanning the street for any witnesses before entering the inky darkness of the store. I tried to calm myself. I had done nothing wrong at this point. If anyone noticed me coming into the store at this hour, my cover story was plausible enough.
“I just stopped by to get my coat. I must have forgot it when I was locking up.”
It somehow seemed less believable as I advanced over the warped wooden floorboards. Each footfall creaked. My pulse quickened as I walked along once familiar aisles. Claw hammers, spirit levels, auger bits, were all reduced by darkness to indiscernible, globby shadows. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but the old building made me nervous at night. As the days grew shorter, my pace walking to the front door after switching off the breakers for the store lights became faster and faster. I imagined the long aisles harboring some invisible presence, just behind me until I made it to the safety of the streetlights outside.
Finally, I reached the clerk’s desk in the back corner. My coat hung from the back of the tall chair, right where I left it. I slipped it on, glad for the warmth. The streetlamps outside provided just enough light for me to make out the shape of the stairs leading to the second story. As I gazed up the stairwell, trying to see the yellow glow I’d noticed from the street, I felt thin cold fingers gripped the back of my neck. I spun around ready to yell out of fear when I saw a single finger pressed against her lips.
“Are you trying to get us busted?” Jess hissed through clenched teeth.
“Maybe you shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”
“What took you so long?” Jess rolled her head to one side as she leaned against the clerk’s desk. Her gum popped, punctuating her sentence.
“There wasn’t any parking outside the movie theater. I had to park down past the coffee shop and walk the rest of the way.”
“Riiight, then you had stare at the building for five minutes.” Jess scrunched up the bridge of her nose, teasing me.

Jess was Mr. Brooks’ granddaughter. I was busy stocking shelves one day in late July when she came into the store and wandered down the center aisle. Jess played varsity tennis and was one of Henderson Falls High’s cheerleaders. I had a huge crush on her at the time, but she was always surrounded by her group of jocks and preps, and I never had the guts to approach her. I heard Mr. Brooks climb off his stool in the back of the store and walk to meet her. They exchanged some words, too quiet for me to hear.
“Hey, Tommy. Come over here. I got someone for you to meet.”
I made my way to where they stood standing. Mr. Brooks wasted no time. “Tom, this is my granddaughter, Jess.”
We exchanged awkward smiles. In a school as small as Henderson Falls High, you know everyone, even if you don’t have classes together.
Mr. Brooks went on. “She just got back from vacation down in Florida and we decided she ought’a take part in the family business. She’ll start next week. I need you to show her the ropes for me.”

After work, I was more than a bit excited to tell my friend Kyle about my new coworker.
“Duuude! You’re working with Jessica Brooks? The cheerleader?”
“Yeah man, I’m pretty stoked.”
“That’s legit, son! If her friends come into the store, you gotta tell me.”
“Why?”
“Well… she’s friends with Robin Gardner. She could probably put in a good word for me, and if I just happen to stop by at the same time…”
“Kyle, why the hell would a bunch of cheerleaders want to hang out in a run-down hardware store?”
“Hey man, a guy can dream.”
It didn’t take long to realize working with Jess was not as Kyle put it “legit”. A typical shift with her started with Mr. Brooks leaving the store around 3:30, giving us a sly look over his shoulder and saying something like, “Now don’t you kids have too much fun.” Once he was out of sight, Jess would plop down in the desk chair behind the Case knife display. The week she started I tried showing her how to stock shelves, fill out hand receipts for customers, just basic stuff you’d expect from a hardware clerk. The most engagement I got from her was a nod or a few unconvincing words like “Wow, thanks for showing me” or “I’ll make sure to remember that.” Despite the simplicity of the job, she rarely helped restock shelves or clean up around the place. Instead, she spent most of her shift behind the desk, scrolling on her phone, doing homework, or passing customers off to me under the guise of ignorance. The closest thing to work she did was re-pricing items. Most of the store’s stock actually came from large box stores and was repriced for the local market. I discovered this when I noticed the remnants of a Home Depot sticker Jess either gave up on or forgot to remove entirely from a box of machine screws.
For the first few days she worked with me, I tried making conversation, but we didn’t seem to have a lot in common. If it didn’t have to do with school gossip, sports, or the music she listened to, she didn’t seem interested in talking about it. Strangely, when she lost interest in social media and had nothing else to do, I caught her flipping through the Brooks Family History Scrapbook and an old leatherbound book I’d never seen before. It seemed to start out of boredom, just another way to pass the time, but she seemed to become progressively more interested in her grandfather’s scrapbook and the leather book. She never struck me as a history person, but I wrote it off as more of an interest in her own family than anything. Despite the various diversions she had, Jess still found time to bother me.
Sometimes she would interrupt me from whatever book I was reading. By now, any excitement about working with her was gone. I would have rather worked alone instead of doing everything while she sat around. I stopped trying to make small talk with her and focused on doing my job.
“I don’t see how you can sit there, reading like that, Tom Boy”, she said smirking. I hated when she called me that.
“Why not?” I asked, not lifting my eyes from the pages.
“It just seems like such a boring way to spend your time.” She reclined in her chair, popping bubblegum between her teeth.
Another time, maybe while we were eating lunch behind the counter, she sighed loudly.
“It’s so unfair I have to work tomorrow. Stacey and Molly are going shopping without me.”
I knew she wanted me to cover her shift. Old Man Brooks had me scheduled from open to noon. I planned on meeting my friends on a camping trip, maybe do some hiking, kayaking, or just hang out by the lake. I said nothing.
She rolled her eyes. “What are you doing with your day off,” she asked.
“It’s not a day off,” I said. “I have to come in from open to noon. After that, I’ll probably meet up with Kyle and John at the lake.”
“That’s just the way you people are,” she smirked.
“What do you mean ‘you people’?”
“You know,” Jess blushed. “Country people living out of town. All you care about is being in the woods, hunting, and fishing, that stuff .”
I’d never been hunting in my life and thought fishing was boring. I decided to spare her the irony. She never showed up that afternoon and I had to close the store. I still went to the lake, but by then it was nearly dark and there wasn’t much to do but sit by the fire after a long day’s work.
The Saturday before fall break Mr. Brooks scheduled both of us to work on what turned out to be the busiest weekend we had in months. From the time we opened until late afternoon, a steady stream of customers came in for various items. When the chronically late Jess finally showed up, she wasn’t much help. Instead of helping customers herself, she referred them to me if there was something they couldn’t find or if they needed advice. I heard her say things like:
“I don’t know anything about plumbing Mr. Stevens, but Tom is basically a plumbing expert.”
“I totally forget how the paint mixer works Mrs. Anders, but Tom would be happy to mix those colors for you.”
“That truckload of mulch you ordered is right out back Mr. Lawson. Why don’t you pull around and Tom Boy can help you load everything before the rain picks up. I’m sure you can both get everything onto your trailer before the downpour really starts.”
I cringed. I hated it when she called me Tom Boy.
Sweat and rain soaked my clothes when I finally got back in the store. Jessica sat, scrolling through her phone with one hand, talking to yet another customer. Seeing me, her face lit up.
“Oh, here he comes! Tom, Mrs. Sandborn is looking for…”
“How about you do something for once and help her,” I snapped. “I’m going to lunch.”
The elderly woman’s mouth hung open, shocked by my rudeness. I grabbed my coat and walked out the front door. On the drive to the McDonalds, I cursed the bad weather and Jess’s laziness. In the short drive across town, my anger welled up inside me. I was pissed off I didn’t get the Gazette internship. I was pissed off Jess got paid to sit on her ass while I did all the work around the store. I was pissed off the line in the drive though was moving so slow.
When I finally got my food, I sped off from the drive through window, cursing under my breath, anticipating a screwed-up order and half-empty carton of fries. I parked a block away from the hardware store, not wanting Jess or Mrs. Sandborn to see me. I was still angry at Jess and realized what vocalizing my frustrations might lead to. I didn’t want to lose my job for yelling at the boss’s granddaughter. I also felt guilty about the way I treated poor Mrs. Sandborn. She was just a poor old woman looking for… something, just to get yelled at. She didn’t deserve that. She also looked familiar and I was sure my grandfather knew her just like he knew everyone else over 50 in Henderson Falls. It was only a matter of time until she ran into Grandpa, or worse, Mr. Brooks and complained about the rude young man working at the hardware store.
I finished my meal and sat in my car for the rest of my lunch break. My rage abated, leaving me anxious about returning to work. I decided to go into the store bearing an olive branch. I’d apologize to my Jess, maybe offer to cover her shift some weekend and hopefully get through the rest of the day without incident.
I noticed the lack of customers as soon as I stepped into the store. The murmur of questions from customers was replaced by the sound of the overhead heater. I found Jess, hunched over in her usual spot behind the Case knife display. It took a moment to realize Jess wasn’t scroll on her phone or doing homework. She was crying.
“Jess?”
She looked up at me through teary eyes. For the first time, I felt genuinely bad for how I snapped at her.
“I just wanted to say sorry for… earlier.” I stood awkwardly, waiting for her response.
“Why do you hate me Tom?”
“I don’t hate you. I… You’re just a lazy co-worker I have to deal with.” I regretted the words as I said them. I felt my anger coming back and tried to keep a cool head.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes with an oversized sweater sleeve. “You never want to talk to me,” she sniffed. “You ignore me all day. You never even say ‘Hi’ to me when I clock in.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Look Jess I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s been a long day. I don’t want to-“
“Don’t want to what? Lose your Job?” She gazed up at me through puffy red eyes. “Of course not!”
“We’re both going to lose our jobs, Tom.” Jess buried her head in her arms and burst into fresh sobs. I frowned, confused by the turn the conversation took.
“Why would your grandfather fire you?”
“Because the store is going out of business.” She raised her head up. “Every night, the deposits are getting smaller and smaller. I found these stuffed into grandpa’s ledger.”
She rummaged through the stack of mail beside her and pulled out a stack of envelopes.
“Last Notice, Late Fee, Past Due, Overdrawn.” She slid them from her hand to the desk like she was dealing cards. The sender’s names coupled with the red stamped messages worried me. Henderson County Tax Office, Nibco Plumbing Supply, Third Street Bank, Henderson County Rural Electric, a few miscellaneous suppliers for merchandise not purchased and resold from other stores.
For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why Jess cared so much about the rundown hardware store. She didn’t seem interested in the actual management of the place.I doubted she had hopes of one day running it herself. I remembered her perusing Old Man Brooks’ scrapbook. Maybe it was a matter of familial pride. I dragged my stool closer to Jess and tried to comfort her.
“I know this looks bad, but what’s the worst that can happen? I’ll find a new job somewhere else, and so will you. Mr. Brooks is old enough to retire anyway, don’t you think he’d like to get out of this place and-”
“That’s the thing, Tom. He can’t retire. He puts everything into keeping this place open. Any profit he turns goes right back into paying for more products and paying the bills.” Jess tapped the old-fashioned ledger on her desk. “You know how much money the store has in it’s checking account? It’s less than $100.”
“Just because the store is broke doesn’t mean the Old Man is.”
“Look at your paychecks, Tom Boy”, she said, without her usual mockery. “They don’t say ‘Brooks Bros. Hardware’. They say Simon J. Brooks, because he shares an account with the store.”
I furrowed my brow as I thought. Surely there was a way out of this mess.
“Maybe he can sell the place and walk away with a nice profit. An investor could renovate this building, just like the other ones downtown.”
“Do you really think anyone would want to buy this place?” Jess raised a challenging eyebrow.
I shrugged. I knew there were some people buying up the old historic properties and ‘gentrifying’ them. Somehow our dusty hardware store didn’t seem a likely place for coffee, vinyl LPs or whatever else the hipsters downtown liked.
“And even if he could find a buyer, it’d break his heart selling this place. It would absolutely devastate him.”
There was no denying that. Maybe the old man was a bit detached from reality and given to romanticizing the importance of the family business, but I think that made this sudden revelation of the place’s impending demise that much more tragic. I dropped my head as I racked my brain for some words to comfort Jess. Suddenly I felt a warm hand close over my wrist.
“I’ve been reading through some of grandpa’s notes. There might be a way out of this mess, but grandpa would never go through with it.”
I raised my head to see Jess looking at me with pleading eyes. “Will you help me Tom?”

My watch read 11:48.
“Do you have everything we need?”
Jess slapped her backpack. “It’s all in here. We just need to get set up before midnight.” She pulled a pink wad of gum from her mouth and smashed it under the desk before rising.
“Let’s go,” she said, wrapping her cold fingers around my hand and dragging me to the foot of the stairs. I felt like a kid reaching into a cookie jar, wondering if they were about to get caught. The wooden stair treads represented the point of no return. If Mr. Brooks or anyone else saw us reason, I’d be caught doing what he explicitly told me to never do.
I clicked my flashlight on, shielding most of the light with my hand. Faint marks left behind by Jess’s Chuck Taylors showed the path through decades of accumulated junk and old merchandise, all but blocking the stairway. I watched Jessica’s long legs retrace steps she had apparently taken earlier. I followed her with my logging boots, trying not to disturb anything. The higher we climbed and the less cluttered the stairs, the more noticeable our footprints became in contrast to the decades of dust. Without all the junk to distract the eye, Mr. Brooks would surely notice this evidence of disturbance.
The door at the landing creaked on rusty hinges. Loose panes of glass rattled as it bumped the lath and plaster wall behind it. The room was exactly as Mr. Brooks described it: an overflow for outdated hardware. Scythes hung from rafters, motheaten burlap bags covered tables, and tendrils of leather straps from horse and carriage days spilled into the narrow walkway. There was even the odd sickle hanging from a nail on the pillars, swaying as our footsteps caused the old floor to creak and at times, noticeably bow under our weight.
Jess picked up her stubby plumber’s candle from floor, leaving behind a small ring of coagulating white wax. We ventured deeper into the musty room. Any doubt surrounding Mr. Brooks’ story of nearly falling through a weak spot in the floor vanished as my flashlight played over the section of splintered wood and exposed floor joists near the front of the store. I realized we might be in real danger of falling through ourselves. Jess led me deeper into the maze of cast-off wares. At one point while, scanning the room I accidentally slammed my knee into the exposed springs of an old mattress sitting on a wrought iron bedframe. I cringed at the rusty squeaks. Jess giggled at my muffled curses. Our narrow walkway gave way to a large clearing. The expanse was mostly unused space. I might have paid more attention to the wall of wooden shelves or the partitioned off room near the front corner of the building but my attention was captured by a hulking rectangular form sitting behind a stained rug.
Gold pinstripes outlining the safe door glittered as we approached. A large, five spoke wheel was mounted beneath the dial. Decades of use had worn through the nickel plating, exposing the brass beneath. The safe’s most striking feature was a portrait of a man’s face painted above a scroll of gilded letters reading: “C. W. Brooks & Bros. HDWE Co. Est. 1868.” Like tintype photographs of the era, his expression was stern, no trace of a grin, and if there was any mirth in his eyes, the artist failed to capture it. I felt a strange uncanniness as I looked at the bearded man’s face, ultimately chalking it up to a family resemblance to my employer. I wondered if the old man had ever seen the portrait of Captain Brooks.
“We don’t have much time,” Jess said. She kicked the red and gold rug away from the safe, revealing a circular, black stain on the floor.
I followed Jess’s lead and knelt on the opposite side of the stain, watching her produce a sheet of onionskin paper and a thin board from her backpack. I sat across from her and clicked off my flashlight before setting it aside. She set her candle to the side illuminating the typewritten paper before unfolding the board in the center of the stain. It featured a row of numbers from zero to ten, the alphabet in capital letters, and the words ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in opposite corners. The caption at the top read ‘Ouija’.
“This is what you dragged me up here for? All this over a damn Ouija Board?”
“Look, If you go into this with the wrong mindset, you will have a bad time.”
I looked over the thing, half-expecting to find the Hasbro logo on one of the corners, but looking closer, it seemed genuinely old. It wasn’t modern cardboard; it looked more like the antique boxes I found in the warehouse. It had a dull appearance and some of the letters were partially worn away, either due to age or frequent use. I looked at the paper and read the lines closest to me.

1. DO NOT use in a graveyard.
2. Wait until the planchet stops on good-bye to put board away.
3. If the board starts counting down from-

“Or it might not work at all,” Jess interrupted, tilting her head to one side. “And we’ll have wasted all this time for nothing.”
“Alright, fine. Where’d you get this thing anyway?”
“Kathy Connors. She gave me these instructions, board and planchet for the ritual,” she continued, holding up a wooden pointer and setting it down on the board. I frowned. It hadn’t occurred to me before agreeing to do this, honestly, I wasn’t sure what I had agreed to at all. The only thing Jess told me was the key to saving our jobs and her grandfather’s business was upstairs and that she needed help. I can’t explain it, but I felt sudden apprehension looking at the board, sitting on the blackened circle in the candle light. It rekindled a distant memory, maybe one of those humid summer mornings in the itchy pews of Henderson Falls’ First Baptist Church and a vague recollection of my pastor going on about divination not only being a sin, but the very act putting your soul at risk of demonic possession. It was unsettling to say the least.
There was also the time Kyle told me spirit boards were ‘complete bullshit’ after we saw one being used in a horror movie.
“There’s a reason they always say to never play alone,” he said as the B-Movie we pirated flickered on the projector in his basement. “If you did, there’d be nobody to move that wooden thing.”
All that said, I felt reluctance at the thought of taking part in what basically amounted to a séance. I pushed these thoughts from my mind. If Jess really wanted to go to all this trouble just to sit cross-legged on the floor and wait for a message from beyond the ethers that wasn’t coming, that was on her.
With everything in order, Jess closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking up at me.
“Are you ready?”
“I guess? What are we doing exactly?”
“Using a Ouija board.”
“I got that part, but why?”
She groaned as she looked at her Apple watch. “Look, we have five minutes, so I’ll make this quick. Has grandpa told you about the feud between Captain Brooks and the banker G. W. Leyland?”
“Maybe once or twice.”
Jess just stared at me, expecting more. By this time, I doubted there was anything about Captain Brooks the Old Man hadn’t told me about.
“He said something about Leyland and the Captain having a feud, or something?”
Jess nodded. “He probably didn’t mention Leyland’s attempt to take over Brooks Brothers?”
“No, he didn’t.”
“I read Captain Brooks’ Journal.” Jess gestured to the leather book poking out of her backpack, the same one I’d seen her reading many times before.
“During the Panic of 1873, the store fell on hard times and needed loans to stay open. Leyland was a money lender and the two agreed to a loan in exchange for a promissory note, payable once Captain Brooks’ railroad investments recovered. It’s complicated, but after several months, Layland attempted to claim Brooks Brothers for the loan being in default. The Captain claimed Leyland forged a promissory note with different terms and even caught Leyland trying to force his way into the offices up here. There was also money missing after this visit from Leyland. The whole thing went to court and the Judge ruled in favor of a compromise between the two versions of the promissory note, since he himself couldn’t verify which one was real. Brooks Brothers was ordered to repay half the loan immediately and the remaining half upon the later note’s expiration. The store struggled after paying the first half of the loan. Rumors circulated about the Brooks family losing the store when Leyland called on the rest of the loan, and that’s when something strange happened: He never came. He went missing, days before the rest of the loan was due. People were initially suspicious of Captain Brooks, but he had an air-tight alibi. Other businesses in town came forward after his disappearance, claiming Leyland was guilty of unfair and misleading business practices, hidden balloon payments on loans, forced early repayment, interfering with businesses he’d loaned money to and trying to assume control of them. People started to think Leyland had made too many enemies in town and fled. After this, Captain Brooks’ journal entries seem to get… paranoid. He mentioned his fear of Leyland’s return. He changed the combination to the safe and wouldn’t tell anyone, not even his family what it was. He carried a revolver with him and insisted on locking the store himself each night. This went on a few months before he was found dead on this very spot.”
Jess pointed to the black stain. My skin crawled under my coat.
“What happened?”
“No one knew for sure. The coroner said it was heart failure. After witnessing his paranoia, the family probably believed it.”
“And you want to try asking his spirit for the combination to open this safe?”
“You’re really not as dumb as you look, Tommy Boy.”
“Why go to all this trouble? If there was anything in that safe, someone would have hired a locksmith a long time ago.”
“It’s a Chubbs Safe, whey were world famous their security. They used to say they were impossible to crack. I called around, but none of the locksmiths around here will touch it because it’s an antique. I found a man online who works on old safes, but he was expensive.”
“How expensive?”
“More than we make in a month.”
“Did you call and talk to the guy? Maybe he’s cheaper than you think. Or mayb-”
Jess looked at her watch. “Look, we don’t have much time, just give me your hand.”
I sighed and placed my hand on top of the planchet.
“One last thing.” Jess looked me in the eye. Her perpetual smirk vanished and her laughing eyes grew calm and focused.
“You have to promise, once we start, we keep going until the end? You got me?”
I nodded.
“And it doesn’t end until the planchet says ‘Goodbye’.”
“Alright.”
“Promise me.”
“Alright, I promise.”
“Good.” Jess rested her soft hand on top of mine. A cold handcuff bit my wrist as it ratcheted shut. I looked at the other end of the handcuff dangling from Jess’s wrist. Before I could speak she raised her free hand, dismissively.
“Just some cheap insurance,” she said.
“Insurance against what?”
Jess’s watch alarm chimed. Midnight. She straightened up and whispered, “Let me do the talking.” She slid the planchet to the center of the board.
“Is there a benevolent spirit who wishes to speak with the living?”
Jess scanned the darkness beyond our candle’s flickering light. A long silence passed before she spoke again.
“I am one of Captain Brooks’ granddaughters; is there a benevolent spirit who wishes to speak with the living?”
Wind whistled outside. The building’s roof creaked under the strain. The planchet remained a dead piece of wood in our hands. I looked around the room and saw nothing. Jess looked over my shoulder once more. Biting her lip, Jess spoke up.
“I am a descendant of Captain Brooks; is there a spirit who wishes to speak with the living?”
My heart thudded inside my chest. It wasn’t the wind picking up outside, or the sudden chill in the air, or Jess trembling across from me. It was the planchet moving. Not under the guidance of Jess’s hand, or mine, but some invisible force. It slid slowly to the word “Yes”, before returning to the center of the board.
Jess went pale, but smiled uneasily. “Who are we speaking with?”
The pointer skated across the board, spelling out a message.
“Captain Brooks.”
Jess’s face lit up with triumph. “We came to ask you-”
But the planchet kept moving “You shouldn’t be here Jess. He got me, now he’s coming for you. Leave now.”
The pointer moved towards ‘Goodbye’. It was nearly there when it shot back to the center of the board. Heavy footfalls echoed through the room.
Jess shook her head in stunned silence.
I scanned the room but saw nothing. “Who’s there?”
The board spelled out “Leyland.”
“We’re here on behalf of Mr. Brooks.” Jess shuddered as she spoke.
“Another Brooks in financial trouble. How predicable.”
Jess wiped tears from her eyes before speaking. “Mr. Leyland, I know you and the captain had- difficulties. But we need help opening the safe.”
A cold breeze burst through the room, carrying a madman’s laugh. Our weak light source trembled, sputtering and threatening to go out until the gust exhausted itself and the flame steadied.
“I help no one. Especially a Brooks.”
“Mr. Leyland, please it’s a matter of saving my grandfather’s business.”
The wind rose up again. A raspy voice vocalized the board’s words slowly as the planchet spelled them out.
“This is my business.”
Jess sat speechless. Before she could speak the cursor and the voice went on.
“When I came to call on Captain Brooks’s loan, he murdered me on this very spot.”
A chill ran down my spine. I looked at the stain beneath us, suspecting for the first time it wasn’t from a water leak or spilled ink. Images of a banker dying, a safe slamming shut, and the smell of black powder smoke flashed through my mind.
“What does any of this have to do with me?” Jess cried.
“You’re family owed me a debt in life. I’m here to collect after death.”
“He can’t hurt us? Can he,” I asked. Trying not to panic.
Wicked laughter echoed through the room.
Jess looked faint when her eyes fell on Kathy Connors’ sheet of paper.
“What’s wrong,” the voice taunted. “Didn’t anyone tell you not to play in a graveyard?”
A faint metallic whir alerted us to the safe towering above us. The dial raced from one digit of it’s combination to another before stopping with a click. The five spoke wheel twisted, stopping with a metallic ‘thunk’ as the locking bars retracted. The massive door swung open on lazy hinges. Jess saw it before I did and screamed.
Inside was the dried-up husk of a man, still in a gilded age suit. Yellow wrinkled lips curled away from ivory white teeth as it stared at us with sunken, hollow eye sockets.
“Don’t you think there was a reason the captain never gave anyone the combination to this safe?” Jess sobbed, her pale face reddened from crying. “You don’t have to do this. I never borrowed anything from you.”
“Captain Brooks’ debt will be repaid.”
Disembodied laughter echoed through the room. The open safe swayed with each reverberation. The planchet jerked to nine and started counting down. Eight. Seven.
“It can’t get to zero, Tom! Help me!” Each time the planchet moved, we forced it back to the previous number. The resistance was startlingly strong as we shoved it back to nine. I don’t know what scared me more, not knowing what would happen if it reached zero or the fact its movements were getting harder to fight. Even with both of our hands on the thing, shoving with all our might we were losing ground. Six, five, four. The safe rocked noticeably. The floor creaked under its weight.
Jess looked to the sheet of paper, searching frantically for some way out of this. The pointer stopped on four. I braced myself and pulled with all my might. It needled closer to three but I wasn’t about to let it get there. I wasn’t just fighting the planchet, I was fighting panic, a tired grip, sweaty hands. The safe shook violently next to us. I cried out in pain as the planchet ripped free from my fingers.
Three. Two. One.
Before it could get to zero, Jess flipped the board upside down.
“Tom, look out!”
The handcuff bit into my wrist as Jess lunged from our circle of light, dragging me with her. The candle got knocked over, plunging us into darkness. A deafening crash rattled the bones of the building as the safe fell face first to the floor where Jess and I were sitting just moments before. Before we could share this moment of relief, a blackened figure rose from behind ruins of the safe.

My friends, we’re at war. We didn’t start the war, but nevertheless, we’re in the trenches now. It’s us against Big Grocery, and they are determined to win. Here are some tips and tricks I used when I was in crisis mode and had almost nothing to spend on food. I got out of it alive, you can too.
Always keep this mantra in your head: Big Grocery is not your friend. They are not there to provide your family with healthy food. They are not ‘part of the community’. They are there to make money off you, and to do so they engage in some of the most underhanded practices you’ll ever encounter. So lock and load, soldiers, here’s how to do battle.
1. Avoid high end grocery stores like the plague. If it has little awnings with French words like ‘boulangerie’ lettered coquettishly above the bread section, get the hell out of there. If it runs free seminars on cooking with Madagascar capers, leave immediately. Your new foraging grounds should be places like No Frills, Price Chopper, Bulk Barn, Dollarama, Giant Tiger, or any other discount grocer you can find. Otherwise you are paying for that charming “Wine Tasting the Cheeky Pinot Grigios of Tuscany” event, and all those fancy attempts to convince you that you are actually strolling through a medieval village in France.
2. When you first enter the store, you’ll likely be greeted by the fruits and veg, which are brightly lit and colourful to make you feel happy! Retailers think happy people spend more, so they want to start you off in a good mood. Also, if you start there and buy a few healthy things, you’re more likely to feel virtuous that you’ve bought something healthy, so you’re super primed to hit the Twinkies aisle for a treat you deserve.
By all means, buy the fruit and veg. But don’t fall into their trap and then hit the Krispy Kreme display.
3. The bakery is probably there too, tempting you with delicious aromas and the allure of baked goods. Some stores even pump in fake bread smells like realtors spraying baking cookies scent to flog a house. Here you’ll also find cakes and muffins, etc related to holidays, just to further encourage you to buy. It’s Father’s Day! It’s Graduation Month! It’s Arbor Day in Uruguay! You’re more likely to pick up something for ole Dad simply out of guilt or filial obligation.
Leave the bakery section til last. You might accidentally on purpose forget to go back.
4. The size of the average shopping cart has doubled since the 70’s, and is 300% bigger than when they were invented in the 30’s. Just like dieters know to serve themselves on smaller plates to eat less, there’s a psychological reason not to go for the jumbo cart. You will subconsciously feel like filling it up. And it generally works - sales increased by nearly 30% when the bigger carts were introduced in the 70’s. Also, carts now often have drink holders. These people mean business. They seriously want you to settle in for a long ass ramble around their store, complete with the beverage of your choice.
Go for the smallest cart you can, or use a basket. Better yet, use your hands. If you can’t carry it, don’t buy it. Try taking your bike or scooter to the store - again, if you can’t lug it home, it will prevent you from overbuying.
5. Stores these days are the size of airplane hangars for a reason. They know people will shop longer and spend more if they don’t feel crowded, and, perhaps more importantly, you will get tired hiking all over hell’s half acre looking for the fricking eggs. Tired people have less self control and tend to buy what they want, instead of only what they need. People also tend to reach what’s known as Decision Fatigue by about the forty minute point into their shop, where they’re completely blown out by all the thousands of decisions they’ve had to make and will just say screw it and reach for anything. Ever wonder why there are no clocks in big stores? They run these joints like casinos, man.
Plan to get in and get out as quickly as possible. Set a twenty minute timer on your phone, or have a support person back in the car you can turn to for help if you find yourself zombie walking towards the Cheetos.
6. The layout of stores is carefully considered. Yes, everyone knows the milk is at the back so that you have to walk through the aisles to get to it. The eggs are often at the other end of the store, and the bread is somewhere else altogether, since retailers know that these three staples are bought by pretty much everyone. The more time you spend wandering around the store like you’re lost in a foreign airport the more chances you have to spot some new marmalade you just have to try. Remember, the store wants you in there for a long time. Changing things around routinely is not because someone in Corporate saw something cute on HGTV - it’s to shake up your routine so you can’t just make a beeline for the things you need.
Know the layout of your store. Make a list of the things you need, and plan your route through the store with the precision and skill of a Navy SEAL. Draw a map if you have to. The more you wander, the more you will buy. If you’re going in for just a carton of milk, pretend you’re a horse running the Preakness and have those blinders on. Get in, get out. You are allowed to buy just one thing and leave.
7. Cheaper items are never at eye level. The most *profitable* items are at eye-level, or ‘buy level’ as the stores call it. Always look on the bottom of shelves for better prices or value for money. Try brands that you haven’t heard of, if they’re cheaper. The ones you’ve heard of have spent millions in advertising, and they plan to recoup that money by charging you more. Sugary cereals and sweet treats are placed at your kids’ eye level, for obvious reasons.
If you can smell the coffee, or the chocolate, in those aisles, it might just be aroma pumped in just like in the bakery section. Retailers have been known to do this too, so plug up your nostrils with Kleenex when you go and ignore the stares, it’s so worth it. Ever notice that soup is never in alphabetical order? Hmmm, I wonder why that is…wouldn’t it be faster if you could just zero right in on the Minestrone you want and not have to search through all the other flavours…oh right. Now I get it.
Items on the end of each aisle, called the end cap, give the impression of being sale items, but quite often are not. These are the most valuable real estate in the store, and brands will pay up to a million dollars to feature their products there, because anything put there sells like crazy.
Not everything at the end of the aisle or in special wire bins in the aisles is on sale. The store likes to make you think it is, by sectioning it off in a special way. Check the price, always. Same goes for “limit of X” signs. Aside from the Great Covid Run on Toilet Paper, there’s never any reason a store wants to limit how many things you buy, even on sale. They do this to encourage you to buy up to the limit. It’s psychology - if you see a sign saying you can only buy three of something, you start to think this must be a great price, or it must be a really good product in high demand. Occasionally this is true - but make sure you check if it’s genuinely a good price (a loss leader the store is okay with losing money on, because they’re hoping you’ll overspend on other things). If it’s an exceptional deal, which happens sometimes, have your spouse grab the limit and go through a separate lane from you.
If you’re not stretching up to get something, or bending right down to get something, you’re almost definitely paying too much. Don’t assume things you find in wire bins on the end caps are on sale, they most likely aren’t. Don’t get fooled by the impression of scarcity (ie limits)
8. Convenience will cost you. Anything that is done for you - shredded cheese, skinless boneless chicken breasts, cut up fruit, etc - will always cost you more. Stores know that we’re all busy and can’t be bothered hand shredding a block of cheese if we don’t have to. They know it’s easier to pick up a plastic tray of a couple of sliced up kiwis and eleven blueberries for $19.99 than it is to buy the raw fruit and cut them up ourselves. You might choose this option on occasion, but always realize you’re paying a premium.
Before you buy anything that has been chopped up or shredded or prepared for you in some way, check to see how much the unhandled stuff costs. A block of cheese, a whole chicken, whole fruits and veg, etc. They will almost always be much, much cheaper.
9. Similar to number 8, bigger is always cheaper. A 355 ml can of pop is often nearly the same, or sometimes even more, than a 2L bottle, and this is true across the board. A giant bag of rice costs less per kg than a box of Uncle Ben’s boil in the bag sachets of parboiled rice. The important thing to keep in mind here is the cost per unit, not the price you see on the shelf, and this is where bulk buying or communal buying can really save you money.
Make a shopping list with your friends or family. If you both need some of the same things, buy a larger item together and split it up at home. It doesn’t take much to split up a bag of potatoes, rice, pasta, etc and store them in your own containers or ziploc. Household supplies like multipacks of toilet paper, paper towels, and even things like household products and cleaners can also be split in half. This works best on 2 for 1 deals, or BOGO half off.
10. At the same time, however, be wary of overspending on sale items. Shop the clearance section first, and then make sure you look for the unit price of a sale item, (which will be in tiny type), not the big flashy number ending in .99. You probably know this by now, but remind yourself of this often. Your mission is a long game, you’re trying to save money week over week, not just today. If you consistently buy things based on the best unit price you can get, you’ll save money. Buy multiples only if you are absolutely sure you or your family/friends will use all of it within a month or two. Many a lonely can of tuna has languished, forgotten and alone, in the back of a dark cupboard just because someone slapped a sale sticker on it.
11. Use comparison sites to find the best deals, or sites like flashfood.com etc that show you how to buy food that is recently or about to expire (most expiration dates are pretty meaningless, just be careful with meat and dairy). Use coupons if it doesn’t take over your life and turn you into one of those insano preppers who hoard a hundred boxes of Tide. Use air miles points or reward points/programs if it’s easy for you to do, and if you don’t fall into the trap of buying 3 boxes of steel wool you’re never going to use just because it’ll get you one extra air mile. Use a credit card to accumulate points only if you never carry a balance (meaning you pay it off in full every month), and won’t be tempted to buy useless stuff just to get more points. Never count on points, these things can vanish faster than David Copperfield and no one on the help lines will give a rat’s ass.
12. Buy no-name or store brand products whenever you can - often they are made by the same companies that make the brand name stuff, the way Old Navy is a lower priced version of The Gap, to make sure they get the bargain shoppers as well as the richer ones. Just be careful not to fall for the ‘Premium’ or ‘Select’ line some grocery stores offer. It’s just their no-name line with fancier packaging and a higher price. Beware of terms like “Artisanal”, it’s all just advertising baloney. Anything produced in a factory is not ‘artisanal’.
13. Try to spend most of your grocery money on items that can be made into meals. (Potatoes, rice, pasta, eggs, meat, etc). Spend only about 10% of your budget on ready-made things like chips, snacks, frozen meals, etc. Prioritize protein and healthy fats over carbs (you’ll feel full longer). You may have to spend a bit more time making home made Mac and cheese or fries, but you’ll save a ton of money in the end. Unless you have zero self control, and unless you’re sure you won’t just eat three of them to make up for it, don’t buy those ‘smaller portions’ packs of chips, cookies etc. They are way more expensive than just buying a large bag or box, and portioning out smaller servings into small snack bags.
14. If your grocery store has a bulk section, buy whatever you can there instead of paying for packaging. A scoop of raisins from the bulk section costs less than one in a Sun Maid tin. Bulk Barn is best for things like this, of course, but consider if it’s worth it to drive there instead of just using the bulk section at your grocery store. This is a way to counteract shrinkflation as well. With no packaging to deceive you into thinking you’re getting the same amount as you used to, you can buy exactly how much you want, and for much less, too.
15. Unless your vet has specifically told you that your pet needs a special diet, don’t waste money buying the expensive pet food with the pictures of animals eating out of crystal dishes and utter nonsense like that. All pet food comes from the leftover processing of human food, and none of it varies too much from brand to brand. There’s no harm in giving your pet the cheapest pet food, it’s likely no different than the expensive stuff. Sometimes a can of tuna works out cheaper than cat food, your cat will be more than happy with that. Don’t buy pet treats or things that will remove tartar, etc - in most cases, it’s utterly pointless. Dogs and cats do just fine without dental care, why would they need it in their food? Pet food is marketed to humans, always keep that in mind.
16. Never even venture into the kitchenware section of a grocery store (I’m looking at you, Loblaws). It may be more convenient to buy spatulas or mugs or plastic food containers while you’re shopping, but you will pay through the nose for it. You can get any of those things at the dollar store or a thrift store for much much less.
17. Don’t buy anything at the checkout. You don’t need anything they sell there. The store wants you to buy that stuff because it makes the most profit on these items, sometimes with a markup of around 40%, while most of their other products have a markup of only 2 or 3%. They also figure you’re so tired from making so many decisions while shopping that you’re just not capable of resisting the urge for a sugar fix, or remembering that you can get batteries cheaper at the dollar store, or realising that if you really must know what Megan Markle is wearing this Spring, you can check out a digital version of the same magazine from your library.
If you want to grab a snack or a drink on the way out, don’t buy a single bottle or a single bag of chips/candy bar etc. Buy a four pack of pop, or a four pack of chocolate bars, or a large bag of chips, and take one/some out when you leave. It works out much, much cheaper.
Checkout aisles are intentionally designed to be narrow so that you’re stuck there like a sheep being funnelled into the shearing yard. The stores figure if you change your mind about buying something, they’d rather you feel the social pressure of all those behind you and say ‘oh to hell with it’ and just buy it anyway, rather than put it back. Ever try leaving a store without buying something once you’ve entered? It’s locked down tighter than Fort Knox, sometimes you actually have to slip past someone trying to buy something just to escape.
18. Never buy plastic bags, this ‘pay 25 cents to help the environment’ is just another way to make money. Absolutely everything - including fruit, for heaven’s sake - is wrapped in plastic in these places, sometimes more than one layer thick, and yet a shopping bag is the problem? Bring bags with you, every time.
19. Don’t round up to donate at the till, or feel guilty when they ask if you’d like to donate a dollar to support X charity. You are your own charity right now. You can be generous again in the future. This is mission critical time, soldier, you need every penny right now.
20. If something has gone bad when you get it home, like the milk is already sour, take it back. Yes, you can take back food that has gone off, provided you don’t wait a week, for obvious reasons. You can also negotiate a discount if the thing you want to buy is expiring today, just ask someone.
21. Get your loonie back from the cart. Hell, check to see how many people have forgotten to retrieve theirs while you’re at it, sometimes you luck out.
22. Your final challenge will be to escape the store’s final gauntlet of coffee shops, vending machines, lottery ticket kiosks, shoe shine places and key making joints. Blinders on, people. Put your head down and get the hell out of there, and out of the parking lot without being lured over to the drive thru that’s conveniently plunked down right near the entrance/exit (and for which the fast food giant has paid the grocery store some serious cash). Your mission is completed, now get your stash home and thank God you made it through another week.
Bonus tip - online shopping avoids pretty much all of these temptations and tricks. But if you must go to the store, sign up for instacart and do someone else’s shopping while you’re at it. Might as well earn while you’re spending.