My experience working at grilled:
-Got screamed at work by my assistant managers for accidently brushing my hand slightly on the egg pan. It caused me no small burns or whatsoever, but I got yelled at in my face in front of everyone. (and for the rest of my shift I (failed) trying to stop crying. He did not apologise for this. All I got was a talk after work and I felt like he was just trying to save face.
-During this talk he told me off for taking 15 minutes to find the imposs patties (when I was trying to calm myself down in the cool room because he yelled at me). He then later told me I had 48 hours to complete all my online training modules when I had school to do as well.
-being threatened with being fired if I had ever hurt myself again.
-I don’t feel comfortable working with others, I feel like I’m being watched. I realised anything I tell one team member something, my assistant managers would somehow know about it too (when they accidently slip it out). I feel like personal conversations is being passed down (from team members to higher ups)
-The reason I hurt myself in the first place (in one morning) is because I was careless, but I felt I was being rushed leading to me being careless. Every time my assistant manager would walk upstairs, he would say “has everything be done now?”. When I was only halfway and trying my best to finish.
-I am aware I’m bad at communicating, me being neurodivergent I have trouble processing information (aka taking orders) and realising when someone is calling to me. So I believe I was not a great fit for this fast-paced job. I opened this to my assistant manager, but he wanted to “fix the problem first”, but I don’t think there was a way to fix this.
-In the one week I was told i was "performing badly", I was given 4-night shifts in a row, whilst I had school in the morning, so I couldn’t keep up and was consequently exhausted. From this my assistant managers reported me to the head manager, although I knew I was underperforming a lot, I felt annoyed with this.
-I don’t simply get along with the assistant managers. One time I got nagged for cooking the beef when it was slightly falling apart (it was already falling apart when it was uncooked from the container), and was told, “how would you feel if you were given a broken burger, I would you feel if I broke you huh? Etc”. Like sir im not some Michelin star chef, I didn’t do this on purpose, im just some broke student being paid $16 an hour.
-I feel like there’s a lot of blaming, I felt like I was being blamed a lot for thing not entirely my fault, aka, not dropping some the meat down on Mondays but when there was already a lot of meat cooked but the people on dress was lagging. so I thought it would be better to cook meat later so they would be hotter later.
-My social anxiety is getting worse, I feel anxiety just entering the store to work.
-Overall, I’ve been told constantly that I am not performing up to standards. (I’ve been slow, etc). I’m trying my best, but I don’t know what else can do, I believe for both parties it would be best if I left my position. However, the grilled store are already understaffed, this is why I’m not being let go (yet).
-Btw I’ve been offered a position here even though they haven’t ever met/talked to me before. (I didn’t attend the interview because I read my boss’s message too late). (edited)

Honor Violence: And why nobody should demand respect

Honor violence is a sort of violence committed where the perpetrator's goal is to regain his tribe's honor, his family's honor, and his own honor. In most cases it’s planned by a family, and committed by one or more men of that family, to a woman of the family who has done or suspected to have done something against cultural or religious norms like rejecting an arranged marriage, or adopting a Western lifestyle. What's worse is that the family helps the perpetrators avoid justice by helping them flee the country. It’s a huge problem in Islamic communities[1], among others, and it’s something that doesn’t exist at all in so many other communities.
Now before I talk about the kind of thinking that is causing these behaviors, I want to clarify some things. First of all, Islam, at least according to the Quran, does not advocate honor violence. Second, honor violence is a tradition that existed in the deserts of today's Saudi Arabia long before Islam. Third, Arab Muslims spread Islam along with their traditions (including honor violence) to a huge proportion of the world (although, I don't doubt that other cultures already had the tradition of honor violence).
What kind of thinking causes a person to commit honor violence?
There are three flaws to discuss here. The main flaw is violent intolerance of dissenters -- the idea that it's best for a person to initiate violence on another person because he has dissenting ideas or actions. A second flaw is the idea that a person's social status is important and should be sought after and preserved. And a third flaw is that a person's social status should be, in any way, linked with his family's, and tribe's social status. An important thing to note here is that these flaws are connected. To clarify, I'm not talking about which flaw is more or less to blame for a person committing honor violence. What I'm talking about is that all of these flaws must be there, in order for a person to think it's best for him to commit honor violence (i.e. for him to want to commit honor violence).
The least bad of these flaws can be explained by answering the question, why do some people care about having respect from their peers? What's the point of it? What problem is it intended to solve? One way to approach this problem is to think about why some people get offended. Consider that when somebody perceives that he has been disrespected, he gets offended, and he may respond in a way to regain respect.
Fallibility and first impressions
One problem with thinking in terms of being respected, is that people are often wrong in their interpretations of other people’s actions and intentions. Often people perceive that they’ve been disrespected, when the person had no intention of disrespecting anybody. Most of the time it’s a case of jumping to conclusions. In other words, the person is not thinking terms of innocent until proven guilty. The thing is that we’re all fallible, meaning that it’s possible, and very common, that we are wrong about our ideas. But a lot of people are not familiar with the idea of checking for other possible interpretations and critically questioning them as a means of avoiding jumping to conclusions, as a means of finding the correct interpretation.
One common first interpretation that people make is that someone wants to hurt them, or to make them lose in some way. But this is a bad way to think about people’s actions because some people don’t want to hurt anyone or make anyone lose anything. So assuming that there is always malicious intent is a mistake because it ignores all the cases where there isn’t malicious intent. So it's not giving the person the benefit of the doubt.
This way of thinking, of always assuming that there is malicious intent, sees human interactions as win/lose. But this is a mistake. It’s entirely possible, and desirable, for human interactions to be win/win, for everybody to get what they want and nobody loses anything they want -- there is no law of nature preventing it from happening.[2] This is a special case of the idea that 'all problems are soluble'.[3]
So the better way to think about human interactions is that win/win situations are possible, where the people involved share the same primary goal of everybody winning, of everybody getting what they want. Now it is true that sometimes a person is trying to make you lose something, or otherwise hurt you, so it’s important to try to look out for this as a means of protecting yourself from harm.
One common misinterpretation people make is to treat a criticism of an idea or an action as a personal attack. But this is a mistake because a criticism is an explanation of a flaw in an idea, so criticizing the idea does not make the holder of the idea lose anything. In fact, criticism helps a person go from wrong to right. It helps him change his mind. It helps him find the truth, which is a great thing! So why perceive it as an attack? The person loses nothing. He only stands to gain (the truth!).
So consider a situation where you're presented with a criticism of your idea. If you agree with it, you stand to gain the truth, and if you disagree with it, you stand to lose nothing. So with criticism you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. So giving and receiving criticism is win/win.
Some common responses people make to criticism is to say "that hurts my feelings," "I'm offended by that," and "that's insulting!" These people respond in this way to communicate that the other person is wrong in some way. But that's not a valid argument -- it's not objective. A person's feelings can't be used as a standard for judging the truth. What's needed is an explanation, one that doesn't depend on a person's feelings. And on a related note, if your feelings are hurt by the truth, then what you can do is ignore the truth (not something I advise), or you can change your feelings about the truth. But what you shouldn't be doing is pressuring people to hide the truth.
Now some people mistake personal attacks for criticism. But calling somebody stupid because he believes an idea does not constitute a criticism. It’s not an explanation of a flaw in an idea. Instead it's an attack on the holder of the idea. And it’s designed for only one purpose, to hurt. People who make personal attacks instead of arguments see human interactions as win/lose. And this is where the idea of respect comes in. The personal attacks are about disrespecting the person. But why would anybody want to do that? What’s the point? What problem does it solve?
Truth-seeking vs Status-seeking
Something closely connected to the win/lose attitude is the status-seeking attitude. People with this attitude think in terms of people having social status, and getting more of it, or keeping the amount they currently have, is something they want. So if a person with the status-seeking attitude tries to disrespect another person, they perceive it as raising their own status while necessarily lowering the other person’s status, hence win/lose. The rest of us, who see human interaction as win/win, see the world in terms of truth. We are truth-seekers instead of status-seekers. We seek cooperative interactions instead of adversarial ones.
To get a better understanding of the difference between truth-seeking and status-seeking, let's consider how they differ in the way they work. Status-based thinking means judging ideas by figuring out how much status the ideas have. In contrast, truth-based thinking means judging ideas by their merit. As I explained in _Atheism: The faith of intellectuals?_, judging ideas by status means believing ideas by looking for confirmation, while judging by merit means believing ideas only after they have survived all known criticism.
As an example, imagine a guy hearing that somebody said something that he perceived as an insult to his parent, and he felt hurt by it. This means he's thinking with the status-seeking attitude instead of the truth-seeking attitude. So he is caring about having social status, and one extra flaw is that he thinks his social status is connected to the status of his parents. And so if he perceives that somebody has insulted his parent, he perceives this as a lowering of his parent’s status, which he also perceives as his own status being lowered. So he is hurt (feels disrespected) by this. He thinks that the "insulter" intentionally did it to try to hurt him, or otherwise make him lose something. But it's a mistake to make such an assumption because the "insulter" may have had no such intention -- maybe he was a truth-seeker not a status-seeker. The truth-seeking attitude does not cause this problem. A truth-seeker thinks like this: "Hmm. Somebody has said something bad about my mom. I wonder if the thing he said is truthful, or not. If it’s truthful, then my mom is bad, and I should talk to her about fixing her error so that she can improve, so I'm glad that he said it because it revealed an opportunity to improve, YAY!! And if it’s not truthful, then maybe this guy is a fool and I don't care what fools think, or maybe he's just mistaken so there's no reason to mind it because mistakes are common." So the truth-seeking attitude doesn’t produce the feeling of being insulted/disrespected. Only the status-seeking attitude does that.
The status-based attitude is one that is shared by many cultures. In gang culture, individuals each have an amount of status that they intend to keep. For this reason, if a gang member perceives that somebody has disrespected him, he sees this as his status being lowered while the other guy’s status being raised. And in an effort to regain his status, he may retaliate with physical violence. So here the gang member is committing two flaws -- demanding respect, and violent intolerance of dissenters.
There are lots of other examples of this. In tribal cultures, an individual’s status is partly determined by how much status his tribe has. For this reason, if a tribesman perceives that somebody has disrespected a member of his tribe, he sees this as his own status being lowered because he sees his tribe’s status being lowered. Now imagine a situation where somebody perceives that the king of his tribe (like Prophet Mohamed) has been disrespected. He would be very offended by this. And if he also has the violent-intolerant attitude too, and if the circumstances were opportune, then he would initiate violence in his misguided attempt to regain respect for his family, and by association, for himself.
Another example is honor violence within a family, or community. If a man thinks that his status is lowered if his daughter does something against his community’s religious norms, and if he also has the violent-intolerant attitude, then he may initiate violence if she commits such an act, as a means to preserve his family's status in the community, and by association, his own status. I should clarify that what usually happens is the family plans this together, where one person does the murder, and then the family helps him avoid the police, say by helping him leave the country.
What's interesting about the status-based idea is that it denies that respect should be earned. A person thinking like this may be in the wrong, and know it, and still demand to be treated as though he is in the right. Street thugs do it when they violently demand respect. Authoritative parents do it when they say 'Don't argue with me' to their kids. Some husbands do it when they expect their wives to side with them in social situations even when they are in the wrong. And some Muslim men do it when they commit honor violence.
The status-based attitude rears it’s ugly head in people’s politics too. These people align themselves politically by their tribal origin (status), rather than by their ideas (merit). It’s ugly because it’s not based on the truth, and because it means the person is unwilling to consider changing his mind about his politics -- because you can’t change your tribal origin. Judging ideas by status means that if you find out that you’re wrong, you’re going to deny it and claim that you’re right, and demand respect too. This way of thinking means no possibility of changing your political affiliation even if you were given devastating criticism of your political ideas. In contrast, judging ideas by merit means that you're willing to change your mind if you find out that you’re wrong. And this way of thinking means the possibility of changing your political affiliation.
Another way to describe the truth-seeking and status-seeking attitudes is like this. Truth-seeking means approaching problems as though the person does not yet have the truth, which is why he is seeking the truth. Status-seeking means approaching problems as though the person already has the truth, which is why he isn't seeking the truth, and instead he is seeking confirmation of what he already believes to be true. Note how the truth-seeking attitude accounts for the fact that it's possible one's ideas are in error, while the status-seeking attitude does not account for that fact. So somebody who is applying the status-seeking attitude is acting like he is infallible/omniscient. He's acting like he thinks he's God.
Rational people vs irrational people
Another way to describe the truth-seeking attitude is to describe the people who have it, rational people. As Elliot Temple explained [4]:

So a rational person sees criticism as win/win because it's part of his truth-seeking attitude. So when he gets criticism of his ideas, actions, or feelings, he doesn't interpret it as a personal attack (win/lose) and instead he tries to judge the criticism in order to try to extract value from it. He sees criticism as a good thing because he knows that criticism leads to further evolution of his knowledge. He sees criticism as necessary to improve himself, so he willingly seeks it out and enjoys thinking about it.
As I mentioned before, a common mistake people make is in how they interpret criticism of ideas. They see it as their person being criticized, rather than the idea alone being criticized. They misinterpret this because they consider some of their ideas to be static -- they are attached to them. They consider these ideas to be part of their identity -- something they refuse to even consider changing. And if you criticize one of these ideas they are attached to, since they consider that idea as part of their identify, they interpret your actions as an attack on their person. And in retaliation, they may call you out to be arrogant and condescending, or cuss you out, or initiate violence, as an attack back at you, in their misguided attempt at self-defense.
So the status-based attitude is what causes people to care about honor (i.e. social status). They have an intense desire for status, and it can pervade practically all of their thinking. Now in tribal cultures, another flaw they have aside from this status-seeking attitude, is that a person's social status should be linked to his family and tribe. And in some tribal cultures, especially the ones where Islam is dominant, they have a strong tradition linking their status with the women of their tribe. Now, combine this status-seeking attitude and these other flaws, together with the attitude that it's morally right to initiate violence in response to a dissenter, and what you have is somebody willing to commit honor violence (including honor killings) against his daughters, sisters, and other female members of his community, and on anybody who he perceives to be lowering his status/respect/honor.
On a final note, I should clarify something about the relationship between the individual and the community. It is true that a man who commits honor violence is being pressured by his family to commit the violence as a means of preserving their social status, but whether or not he acts on that pressure, or even feels that pressure, depends on his ideas. Will he care what his family and community thinks? Well, in those communities a lot of the opportunities for a man, like getting married or having a good job, depends on the status of his family and his tribe. So if a woman taints his family's status, and if he doesn't remove that taint by killing her, then he'll lose those opportunities. But so what? He could forego all of those "opportunities" by fleeing the country with his daughter. If he doesn't do that, it's because of his evil ideas. Pressure from society is not a defense! Individuals are responsible for their actions regardless of the "pressures" from their communities.
——————————————————————
[1] _Honor Killings Go Beyond Mere Homocide_, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Also see The AHA Foundation on Honor Violence.
[2] See _The Beginning of Infinity_, Chapter 9: Optimism, by David Deutsch.
[3] See _All problems are soluble_, by Elliot Temple. Also see [2].
[4] _Rational People_, by Elliot Temple.
^{Originally published in 2014}

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For starters I don't like generalizations but I do feel like this title really accurately describes my life up until now.
Currently 28M and up until this day never been into a relationship, I never really had any girl tell me I look handsome or whatever. During my 20's I've been around quite a few women, and also tried to be pretty outgoing but outside from conversations I've never had any girl show any particular interest in me.
The only girls I did talk with completely friend-zoned me and afterwards just started dating different guys.
I've been extremely anxious & shy for the first 24 years of my life, after that I started to become more outgoing and instead of office jobs I started to do more social work, and it actually really improved my confidence. I also try to work-out a lot to improve my mental health since in a way I'm already pretty in shape.
I realized that I was probably depressed and also suffering from various anxiety disorders for the past 10 years without ever fully realizing it. I did often tried to self-diagnose but every time I would google up the symptoms I would only check 6/8 boxes, so I never really did anything with that. I did however try therapy in my early 20's because my academic performance was really bad, but psychiatrists blamed it on ADHD and not on severe anxiety and depression which in hindsight was more likely to be the problem.
I feel like my treatment also didn't really help too much back then because it wasn't addressing the main problems I was facing. Looking back I'm still grateful for the experience but I often feel like I could of recovered way sooner if I would of gotten myself some better support.
Even though things are slightly getting better every day is still really hard. I feel like dating is especially hard when you have no experience at my age and also my past is full of hurt, it's not like I can make it sound any better then it was.
I tried dating apps for a while but I feel like it's pointless, I really wouldn't want to use them in the first place but it's hard to get a conversation going when most women outside these days just avoid eye contact in general. I feel like it's impossible to not have body-dysmorphia these days when the standards are so high.
I do believe I'm just facially unattractive so there's not much I can do about it. Except maybe some plastic surgery which is very expensive in my country.
Anyways I've considered the fact that I'm probably going to be alone for quite some time and I do believe I can manage. However I feel like dating isn't the only problem. I also feel like people just treat you differently based on how you look, I often experience this at work where I just feel like people treat me like shit or crack jokes about me because they feel like they can get away with it.
Something I've also noticed is how people enjoy talking to you at work but completely pretend to not even know you at social settings which I find peculiar to say the least.
It's hard to not feel pretty lonely from time. And I often feel like I don't really know how to fill in all the blank space. But I guess setting goals is important too. Right now I'm just saving up money for traveling to take an essential break from life.

General World Overview:

1. How does the geography of your world compare to Earth?
2. Are there similar celestial bodies like the moon and sun?
3. How do the laws of physics differ, if at all?
4. Is there a comparable concept of time, days, and years?
5. Are there recognizable continents or landmasses?
6. How does the climate differ from Earth's regions?
7. Are there equivalent natural elements like water, air, and fire?
8. How do the ecosystems compare to Earth's biodiversity?
9. Is there a similar concept of gravity in your world?
10. Are there any extraterrestrial influences on your world?

Cultural and Societal Aspects:

1. How do family structures compare to those on Earth?
2. Are there recognized social hierarchies or classes?
3. What languages are spoken, and do they have Earth parallels?
4. How are names and naming conventions different or similar?
5. Are there universal human rights or similar ethical values?
6. How do education systems compare to those on Earth?
7. Is there a comparable concept of currency and economics?
8. What role do religions or belief systems play in society?
9. How are cultural expressions like art and music similar or different?
10. Are there recognized global holidays or celebrations?

Technological Advancements:

1. What technological advancements exist in your world that surpass Earth?
2. Are there technologies in your world that Earth hasn't developed?
3. How does communication technology differ from Earth's?
4. Is there a comparable internet or global communication network?
5. How is transportation handled, and are there advanced modes?
6. What role do robotics and artificial intelligence play in daily life?
7. Are there similarities in medical advancements or differences?
8. How is energy harnessed and distributed in your world?
9. Do space exploration and travel exist, and how do they compare?
10. Are there ethical considerations in technological development?

Political and Governance Systems:

1. How do political structures in your world differ from Earth's?
2. Are there recognized international organizations or alliances?
3. How are leaders chosen, and is there a democratic process?
4. What role do citizens play in shaping political decisions?
5. How are conflicts and disputes resolved on a global scale?
6. Is there a comparable concept of diplomacy and international relations?
7. How do governments address issues of corruption or unethical behavior?
8. Are there recognized human rights protections, and how do they compare?
9. What role does transparency and accountability play in governance?
10. How is the rule of law maintained in your world?

Environmental Considerations:

1. How do environmental conservation efforts compare to Earth's?
2. Are there recognized global initiatives to combat climate change?
3. What policies exist for managing natural disasters and emergencies?
4. Is there a similar awareness of environmental sustainability?
5. How do nations collaborate on shared environmental challenges?
6. Are there unique ecosystems or biodiversity hotspots?
7. What measures are in place to address pollution and waste management?
8. How is space exploration and celestial conservation approached?
9. Are there any extraterrestrial environmental influences?
10. How does your world approach the balance between technology and nature?

Economic Systems and Trade:

1. How is the global economy structured, and what economic systems prevail?
2. Are there recognized international trade agreements or organizations?
3. What industries dominate the global economic landscape?
4. How is wealth distribution managed, and are there social welfare programs?
5. Are there disparities in economic development among nations?
6. How do nations collaborate on international economic challenges?
7. Is there a comparable concept of entrepreneurship and innovation?
8. How are emerging technologies impacting the job market and industries?
9. Are there recognized economic challenges faced by nations?
10. How do nations approach economic crises and financial stability?

Security and Defense Policies:

1. How is global security organized, and what defense systems exist?
2. Are there recognized international alliances or collaborative defense efforts?
3. How do nations assess and respond to potential security threats?
4. What role do emerging technologies play in global security?
5. How are borders and immigration managed on a global scale?
6. Are there covert intelligence or surveillance systems in operation?
7. How do nations address terrorism and cyber threats?
8. What is the level of international cooperation in addressing security challenges?
9. How are conflicts and disputes resolved peacefully among nations?
10. What measures exist for global disarmament and non-proliferation?

Social Dynamics and Cultural Interactions:

1. How do different cultures coexist, and are there cultural tensions?
2. What are the major belief systems and religions embraced globally?
3. How are cultural and religious freedoms protected within nations?
4. What is the role of education in promoting cultural understanding?
5. How do nations address diversity and inclusion within their societies?
6. Are there recognized initiatives to preserve cultural heritage?
7. What role do arts, literature, and media play in shaping global culture?
8. How do nations approach the integration of technology and culture?
9. How are individuals from different cultures treated and respected?
10. Are there policies promoting intercultural dialogue and understanding?

Health and Well-being Policies:

1. How is healthcare structured and managed globally?
2. What is the state of medical technology and disease prevention?
3. Are there recognized international collaborations for addressing global health challenges?
4. How do nations respond to pandemics and public health emergencies?
5. What is the approach to mental health and psychological well-being?
6. How are healthcare disparities addressed on a global scale?
7. Are there initiatives to promote healthy living and well-being?
8. What role do emerging technologies play in healthcare?
9. How are pharmaceuticals regulated and distributed internationally?
10. What measures exist for ensuring access to healthcare for all citizens?

Education and Knowledge Dissemination:

1. How is education structured and prioritized globally?
2. What is the state of research and development in various fields?
3. Are there international collaborations for advancing education?
4. How is information disseminated among the global population?
5. What role does technology play in enhancing educational systems?
6. How are emerging technologies integrated into research and education?
7. What is the level of global connectivity, and are there isolated regions?
8. Are there initiatives to address educational disparities and inequalities?
9. How do nations approach the exchange of knowledge and intellectual pursuits?
10. What policies exist to promote lifelong learning and skill development?

These questions aim to explore the nuanced aspects of your fictional world, comparing and contrasting them with elements familiar to us in the real world.

I'm forklift certified, I had to spend a day learning about the equipment and doing testing before getting a job that then spent a other 40 hours training me to use the equipment. I have a license to sell both alcohol and cannabis, I had to take an online course and pass a test for that license amd need to repeat these tests every 5-7 years to keep my license, if I fail to do so means I lose my license and operating a forklift or selling controlled substances without a license has serious consequences.
Globally roughly 1.2 million people are killed each year from cars (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/road-traffic-injuries.) Your dad spending a few hours on the weekend teaching you how to drive on a backroad is not sufficient education for learning how to operate heavy machinery and perform tasks as complex as driving. Regulated education for driving ensures everyone on the road has learned how to safely and correctly operate their machinery and mandatory retesting prevents people from operating machinery they are no longer qualified to operate.

🚨 Thomas Tuchel: "This is my last press conference at Säbener Straße. There were talks, but we didn't reach an agreement, so the decision of February still stands"
"It's obviously tough. Results like in the Champions League against Lazio, Arsenal and Real bring you together. The feedback from recent weeks was the foundation for us having a discussion. But we couldn't reach an agreement. I won't name the reasons. The agreement from February stands."
"The job requires full energy, but it also gives me a lot of energy. It is my great passion. For me, a good training session is the basis for an excellent day. There are few better, more fun places than a football dressing room. A trophyless season with Bayern is never satisfactory, no one will disagree with that - including myself. It remains a very disappointing performance in the DFB Pokal, which was unsatisfactory. We are currently second in the Bundesliga and have got a number of points that would have been enough to win the title in nine of the last 11 years, that with injury problems throughout the season and Leverkusen just refusing to lose. That's not something to be ashamed of. The CL season was almost perfect until the 87th minute in Madrid. Losing there in the last seven minutes can happen. You can accept that without having to be ashamed. We are very self-critical. We will never run away from responsibility. We have the right to walk out of this 15 month period with our heads held high"
Tuchel on his feeling: "I'm a bit sad because I don't like leaving teams and a staff. There are 60, 70 people here that you see every day. Also the stewards in the underground car park and the guys in the kitchen. There's a bonding that develops with time. You work closely together for hours every day. It's always difficult."
Tuchel on the personnel for tomorrow: "Harry is receiving treatment from his personal doctor. He cannot travel. He was already at the limit in Madrid. He had a complete blockade in his back, it's gotten worse and bothers him in everyday movements. Leroy and Jamal won't be in the squad. Choupo has the flu, won't be available. Kim is injured, not in the squad. Sacha Boey is definitely not in the squad, for private, sad reasons. Rapha Guerreiro and Serge Gnabry are injured. Kingsley Coman is trying everything to be at the Euros, but won't be in the squad tomorrow"
Tuchel on whether he spoke to Uli Hoeneß after the latter's statements about him: "We met during the second game against Real and put it to rest. There's no point in being resentful. It's OK"
on Goretzka: "He knew beforehand [that he wasn't in Germany's squad]. My assistants have spoken with him. I don't know if it helps taking a lot to him. He's had a very decent season for us, also in various roles. I'm convinced Leon did everything to be included. The disappointment is obviously great"
on Aleks Pavlović: "Sensational. It's a pleasure to see the young lad play. We've always brought in players from the reserves. From the very first training session, we saw something special in him. He was very confident with the way he played. He's also incredibly nice and always comes to training with a big smile on his face. It's a pleasure to see his development. He deserves the greatest praise of all. Everything was absolutely great. He absolutely deserves to be called up for the Euros. Playing in central midfield for Bayern is not easy. He's a nice guy, big credit to him. There's nobody who doesn't wish him well"
"It's been clear to us all since February that the chapter was coming to an end. It's been a turbulent last week. It's important to keep the focus on tomorrow's game and bring it to a fitting conclusion"
Tuchel on whether the lack of a say in transfers for the coach at Bayern compared to England influenced his decision: "It is not my understanding that I should hand over a piece of paper and say: Now get me this player or I'll leave. That wasn't the case in England either. It was always my intention to do my best for the team from a coaching perspective, always in the knowledge that there are also many other components, such as the financial ones. It is always an objective, goal-orientated exchange with the aim of improving the team. Of course, there can be different opinions. I have no reason to complain. I'm still proud today that we got Harry Kane. I was so adamant about Harry that I 'infected' Brazzo with the fire. I stayed firm in the transfer committee and did everything so we get him. That was never a problem and didn't play a role, neither in February nor now"

As a college student, academic success is a top priority. College can be both exhilarating and challenging, with juggling coursework, social activities, and perhaps a part-time job feeling overwhelming at times. However, achieving high grades is attainable with the right strategies and mindset. Here are some effective ways to excel academically.

1. Time Management is Key

One of the most critical aspects of succeeding in college is managing your time efficiently. Here are a few tips to help you stay on top of your schedule:

• Create a Study Schedule: Allocate specific times for studying each subject. Consistency helps in retaining information better and reduces last-minute cramming.
• Use a Planner or Digital Calendar: Mark important dates for assignments, exams, and projects. This helps you prioritize tasks and avoid forgetting crucial deadlines.
• Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large assignments can be daunting. Breaking them down into smaller, manageable tasks can make them less intimidating and easier to complete.
• Avoid Procrastination: Break tasks into smaller chunks and start early to avoid last-minute stress.

2. Active Participation in Classes

Attending classes regularly and actively participating can significantly impact your understanding and retention of the material. Here’s how you can make the most out of your classes:

• Engage with the Material: Ask questions if you don’t understand something. Engaging with the content helps reinforce your learning and shows your professors that you’re interested.
• Take Detailed Notes: Good notes are essential for effective studying. Develop a system that works for you, whether it’s using bullet points, mind maps, or digital note-taking apps.
• Join Study Groups: Collaborating with peers can provide different perspectives on the material and fill in gaps in your understanding.

3. Effective Study Techniques

Studying smarter, not harder, is crucial. Here are some study techniques that can enhance your learning:

• Active Learning: Engage with the material actively by summarizing information in your own words, teaching it to someone else, or creating flashcards.
• Pomodoro Technique: This time management method involves studying for 25 minutes, then taking a 5-minute break. After four cycles, take a longer break. This helps maintain focus and prevents burnout.
• Spaced Repetition: Spread out your study sessions over time rather than cramming. This technique improves long-term retention and understanding of the material.
• Take Notes: Summarize key points during lectures.
• Use Flashcards: Create flashcards for important concepts.
• Teach Someone Else: Explaining a topic to a friend reinforces your understanding.

4. Utilize Campus Resources

Many colleges offer resources that can aid your academic performance. Make sure to take advantage of them:

• Academic Advising: Advisors can help you plan your course schedule and offer guidance on meeting your academic goals.
• Tutoring Services: If you’re struggling with a particular subject, don’t hesitate to seek help from tutors. They can provide personalized assistance and clarify difficult concepts.
• Libraries and Study Spaces: Find a quiet place that’s conducive to studying. Libraries often have designated quiet zones and study rooms that can help you focus.

5. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle

Your physical and mental well-being directly impact your academic performance. Here are some tips to stay healthy:

• Balanced Diet: Eating nutritious meals fuels your brain and body, enhancing your concentration and energy levels.
• Regular Exercise: Physical activity reduces stress and boosts cognitive function. Even short walks can make a difference.
• Adequate Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Proper rest is essential for memory consolidation and overall cognitive performance.
• Mindfulness and Stress Management: Practices such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises can help manage stress and keep you focused.

6. Stay Motivated and Set Goals

Setting clear, achievable goals can keep you motivated throughout the semester. Here’s how to stay on track:

• Set Specific, Measurable Goals: Rather than vague goals like “do well in classes,” aim for specific targets such as “study for two hours daily” or “achieve an A in biology.”
• Reward Yourself: Celebrate your achievements, big or small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite treat, a break to watch your favorite show, or a day out with friends.
• Stay Positive: Keep a positive attitude towards your studies. Believe in your ability to succeed and don’t let setbacks discourage you.

7. Test Preparation Strategies

Ace those exams with effective preparation:

• Practice Past Papers: Familiarize yourself with the format.
• Review Regularly: Don’t cram—review consistently.
• Stay Calm: Manage test anxiety with deep breathing techniques.

8. Collaborate with Peers

Study groups can be beneficial:

• Discuss Concepts: Explaining ideas to others reinforces learning.
• Peer Accountability: Set study goals together.
• Share Resources: Exchange notes and study materials.

Conclusion

By incorporating these strategies into your college routine, you can improve your academic performance and ensure your grades soar. Remember, success in college is not just about intelligence but also about adopting effective habits and maintaining a balanced lifestyle. In addition, you can also join our community at 911papers_homworkhelp for more tips or need help, and also to connect with other students who share similar academic experiences.
911papers.com

Howdy folks!
I updated ya'll in the comment section about my sudden job loss not 2 weeks after performing the full pentagram ritual. I performed the ritual on April 1st and was suddenly fired on April 12th. Freaky how my new boss turned sour seemingly overnight. It was quite the whiplash!
A few days later, after calming down, I did a reading about the whole debacle and posted about it. See u/Quareia Josephine's comments. In short, the pentagram ritual triggered protection while also speeding up my fate a great deal in order to set me down a necessary path.
The update:
I start my new job this Monday! (And at Reddit LOL) I'm blown away by how quickly i landed this job. I had been applying for jobs non-stop for many months before landing the new job i just lost.
About the answer card: The Oracle says "SPEAK!"
I won’t bore you with the details but ever since I was a teen, I’d get told “you should write a book!”. I’ve always dismissed the suggestion. I have no talent or skill for writing. No desire for publishing written work either. Also, I remember reflecting on my activism days and it was as if my voice had a life of it’s own.. It rippled out further than I ever intended…
Reflecting on my natal chart, I see Mercury sitting close to my left hand. Lower left quadrant. Communication, the land/ancestors and the act of giving.. hmmm
So I don’t think the Oracle card speaks of an immediate future but it sure is pointing to a fate path that I’m sure will make itself known one day. When it does, i hope to God i walk that path well in the name of Service.

Based in Australia
A recruiter cold contacted me about a job last Thursday.
It's not exactly what I want to do (which is marketing) but it seems like a role where my marketing skills are transferable to this role and its close enough that I could still enjoy it and get my marketing fix.
The recruiter also told me I'd be getting $2.5k a year more than the place I've recently quit from.
So it's kind of a marketing job, might be a good way back into the industry, and it pays a little more than I was getting.
I went for a first round interview online on Tuesday, it went well and then I had a second round face to face interview yesterday (Thursday).
I got told they had other candidates to interview and that I'd hear back next week if I was to be offered the role or not.
I didn't feel as confident as I did in the first interview because it seemed like the skills I felt cross over, might not actually fit that well and I figured if any of their other candidates knew more than I did about the role, then I wouldn't get the job.
I talk to the recruiter after my f2f interview and let him know how I felt. He tried to reassure me by telling me that I was the "best candidate for what they are willing to pay"
Hmmmm... okay doesn't make me feel super confident that they are paying the standard wage for the position but it's more than what I was getting right? So still a step up for me.
I hear back today (Friday) from the recruiter that I've been offered the role.
However today, while he's offering me the role, he tells me that actually it pays $500 less a year than what I get now.
When I ask if they could match it, he says it's not worth him asking them about it and told me something about a yearly Christmas bonus which would be more than the $500 anyway. 2k but I think he said something about it being dependant on company performance.
But I'm wondering - why would he not know how much they were offering?
Especially because when he told me about it today, it seemed like the company had explained it to him in a very specific way about why it would be that amount.
The way he brushed it off as not being worth him asking them for the $500, doesn't sit well with me either. Like he tried to push for more but they wouldn't budge at all.
Does it seem like they are just interested in me because I meet their price point and not actually that they think my skills match up enough?
Is a week from go to woah rushed to anyone else? Especially because it was a cold call from a recruiter?
I've recently quit a role, and I'm in a position where I'll be okay if I don't take this one.
So should I just wait?
I also rushed into my last job where a recruiter convinced me to take the role and I hated it for the whole year I was there.
So I'm trying to figure out if I'm just a bit jaded or if this is a weird scenario to anyone else.
Thanks in advance for your answers!

Hey guys
~~~ Purpose ~~~

• I am looking for buddies to set up a mastermind group

~~~ About me ~~~

• 38 y.o.
  
• used to work as a content writer and translator
  
• burned out because of the lack of the good jobs in content writing
  
• moved into washing cars at the car washer in Almaty Kazakhstan.
  
• live in a third-world country
  
• I want to move to Korea and start making the really good money
  
• I have a plan on how I can turn around my life and become rich and happy within 5 years
  
• I have a long-term vision, and I am setting up the "configuration" for my life journey correctly, as opposed to chasing the fleeting wins.
  

~~~ About the purpose of the mastermind group ~~~

• sharing the plans, and performing the accountability reviews and reviews to identify any major flaws before we embark on the next stage
  
• buidling up a basic community to help us stay the course and feel that we aren't going it along
  

~~~ About you ~~~

• you should be dealing with extremely low budgets in your life. If you are from a first-world country like the US, you won't be able to process my numbers correctly. But I plan to move to a first-world country within 2 years - I just need to go through certain steps before I can do this.
• you may be wanting to work the job for 1-2 years so that I can save up the initial investment capital. If you are trying to set up a digital marketing agency with $1000 in your bank account, we won't jibe well. I am planning to set up the investment capital of $5K and move into an ecommerce business model that I have identified.
• you need to be smart and willing to grow and develop. I am reading books on success every day, and I don't have TikTok

Hello, my name is Lost Angeles (lmao), and I’m an addict.
I’m 26 years old, and am in recovery (gold chip, baby🙏🏼)for addiction. Unfortunately, my issues and struggles were masked beneath a “high-functioning” exterior and I continued to deceive myself that I was in control. A “recovering people-pleaser”, “how does she do it all??”, kind of asshole…
Don’t have much to say for myself other than I don’t know how to say no to others (‘high performer’ at work, relationship strained, family life tense, friends giving me grief for missing social events for work (sigh.) ) when I feel like I’m going to disappoint them or let them down, I needed more hours in the day, yadda yadda…
I didn’t want to let people down. I didn’t want to be seen as weak. I didn’t want to be a burden.
I was stretched thin and found something that seemingly allowed for me to do it all and it didn’t hurt anyone but me. Secretly. Privately. Unknowingly.
I have since become sober (“We are here and we are free” IYKYK🙏🏼) but have had to take an aggressive, full-time approach to my sobriety. I’m unable to work at the moment and unemployment is no longer available. My parents wish they could help, and if they could, they would, but, they can’t. They’re scared shitless in their own ways. (A sobering tale of two Gen X’ers careeretirement become a casualty to the rapidly changing economic state of the country.)
Trying my best. Working the program. Which means I can’t work a job. Not right now. But the bills don’t pause, and they don’t stop. Working so, SO, hard to overcome an addiction, and I, honestly, need some help right now. Please help if you can. Be it a dollar, a word, a prayer. Accepting all at the moment. Means more than you know.
Thanks for letting me share. Xo

I have been animating on YouTube for a while now. It actually feels weird rn talking about this, because I'm actually doing pretty well rn and that's causing me to feel well.
I have always thought of wanting to have a secondary source of income apart from the main source. My dad had casually told me that i should have earned atleast 17k by the time I'm 17 back when I was 13,i did, in fact I earned more than that. I have been able to do many things with the money I've earned from YouTube, I bought my mom a phone(she's in a stable and well respected job but didn't buy a phone since she felt what she had was enough) and it made her happy, I gave one of my relatives 9k because she had not been going to work for a while since her leg had broken and her grandad(who was her godfather because her parents couldn't take of her) died. I have been able to help many people. My friends respect me a lot for being able to earn even after falling into the depths of suicidality and depression, they look up to me. I never bought anything for myself tho, but I will, I am planning to buy a good bike that's worth 2.2 lakhs, it's well within my ability to pay and I'm proud of myself.
Here's the catch though, the very platform that made me want to feel alive is now dictating the way I feel and how I am as a person. When I get more views, or when a video is performing well(better than the average viewership), I feel happy, but when it doesn't, I feel like shit, like its so fucking hard to feel like I have a purpose, I feel like it's the end, that nothing in the future awaits me anymore, and that my parents won't be able to get an early retirement. It's not like my life depends on YouTube, I am good academically and am social too, I want to pursue a career in law.
I find myself comparing myself to other animators who have more subs and views than me. I know I can't be better than everyone, but I am not able to be happy with what I want.
So many mfs from my school are now jealous of me, my school teacher invited me to give a guest lecture in the class, I declined it because I knew I'd feel more existential.
I want to collaborate with musicians and see how it goes, or even movie producers, but I never received a response.
Even as I type this, I feel like "bro tf are you getting worked up over, you haven't done anything so great anyway, like you have a less sub count compared to other dudes, you don't even deserve to feel this way because you haven't achieved anything to feel this way".
Also I did go to a therapist mf couldn't even get what I was trying to say, this is not the first time it's happening.
I even feel really shit knowing that no one from my own country watch me, like my most recent video, the viewership percentage of my country was 1.6%, with USA having 36.5%.
Help.

"Captain! They hit our starboard phasers, we can't fire them any more!" "Report from medical, four injured and one dead." "The crew think it's hopeless, they want to surrender captain. Many are already standing down." "They hit the engines and our power's gone. We're sitting ducks!"
Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe they're just pirates. They take your cargo and depart, leaving you to drift in the void in a damaged ship and the half of your crew that survived. You make emergency repairs and hobble your ship to the nearest star-port. Half your remaining crew don't return to the ship that evening, the memory of their near death experience crushing their morale. Some of the injured died on the journey back, especially when you hit that asteroid belt and could barely maneuver the ship. Your ship doctor is doing all they can but they can only heal so many, only save so many, and the medical bay is damaged beyond use. Your officer tries to rally your crew, gives a passionate speech about love, loss and always getting back up to fight again. A few look reinvigorated, yet more don't return the next day. But you dust yourself off, pay for the repairs, hire new crew and take on a new job. It's just a minor set back...
Or maybe it all ends right there. It was a zealot. A fanatical patriot of the faction you'd been working against on behalf of your contact. They hear no pleas, they take no bribes, only heads.
Perhaps they're not even humans. An existential terror from beyond the known universe. Ships cobbled together from biological matter mixed with strange alien technology. There's no negotiation, there's maybe not even sentience within the minds of your enemies. Snarling and vicious they tear through your crew, and you.
I've had a lot of fun with this game. Initially released in 2018 it's still getting frequent updates and it's full of content that can keep you entertained for hundreds of hours. I would know because I've currently got 270 hours played at the moment and that's only going to go up from here.
Don't let the name fool you, it's not about trading! Unless you want it to be, in which case you can totally make it about trading. Instead you play as the captain of a space ship in a distant future galaxy simply trying to survive and thrive.
The game is a bit of a strange mix between RPG and Rogue-like. I guess I'd describe it as an RPG with lots of replayability. At the start of each game you pick your captain. You can customize your captain in a number of ways but it's balanced around a priorities system. You have Attributes, Skills, Ship, Contacts and Experience. Your top choice will have the highest value while the bottom choice will have the lowest value. So you can start with an extremely skilled captain but you might have a very poor starting ship or only one or two contacts (mission givers, info brokers, rare equipment sellers, black market access, etc. They play a number of roles depending on their position/profession). Or you can start with a top of the line nearly end-game ship, but you'll have to sacrifice your captain's abilities to do so. Experience is basically a head start on levels for you and your crew, which can be very valuable for the early game where it can be tough starting out.
Besides the priorities your captain has a specific class. The default is Pirate but you can play as a Merchant, Assassin, Commander, etc. too. Each will have bonuses based on the play-style they specialize in. Pirates and Smugglers get skills that allow them to access black markets more easily and avoid police patrols from identifying contraband with ship scans. Assassins, soldiers, snipers, etc. get a bonus to their crew combat performance and usually have some bonuses regarding missions too. An assassin will do well in a "Duel of Assassins" conflict between two factions, for example, where typically nobles send assassins to try to kill each other or influential people under a 'lawful war monitored by the United Nations' kind of premise. Whereas a Bodyguard will get bonuses for escort missions and prisoner transport missions. Merchants get better deals for their goods and can impact "trade ban" conflicts more. Commanders get bonuses to ship performance and combat.
There are a lot of options too! Both just as you start but also there are a number of options you can unlock by completing various quests or challenges in your playthroughs, which also adds a lot of replayability. New player classes, new ships and new starting contacts.
Oh, and even if you start with one of the best ships, there's a lot of in-game progression too. Upgrading the ship components and choosing talents as your crew level up is a key aspect of the game. Each crew member has a class too, which will determine what value they're contribute to your ship's overall stats. You need Electronic Tech experts to run a lot of high tech electronic components, you need gunners to be able to man all the guns, and you need Ship Operators to, well, operate the ship. As crew, officers and your captain level up they can choose a talent from their job talents. For example, an E-Tech can get the 'scanner boost' skill, which can be used in ship combat to give you +25% accuracy and +25% evasion. The trick though is that they have very long cooldowns. You'll need multiple crew members with Scanner Boost to be able to use it multiple times in a battle, or to use it in two battles back to back. The game runs in weeks, with the explanation that the energy from the special ship engines prolongs people's lives almost indefinitely. So most skills will have a 3-6 week cooldown, which actually passes pretty quickly when you're traveling. Either way, you get anywhere between 18 and 42 crew, depending on the size of your ship and what kind of barracks you install. So you can have a lot of talents. It's also worth seeking out specialist crew, like a merchant, diplomat, smuggler, etc. so that you can make use of their talents in rarer circumstances.
But be careful! Your crew are vulnerable. Ship battles are dangerous, with plasma beams scraping your hull, miniature fighter ships swarming you, enemy ships ramming and boarding you, etc. If your ship is well prepared, maybe your shields can take the hit and you'll only get rocked a bit, or perhaps you've put most of your upgrades into evasion and can nimbly dodge all the enemy shots. If you do get hit though, prepare to really get hit. The introduction to this review is what it feels like to lose a ship battle in this game. It's incredibly in-depth and very immersive. You can even check, mid battle, which crew are injured, which are low on morale, etc.
A hit to your ship will do a number of things. Every hit will damage both your ship and your crew, but some weapons are more dangerous to one than the other. Radiation blasters will do a lot of damage to your crew but won't do much damage to your ship. It's a great option for people who want to take down a ship without destroying it's cargo. Whereas missiles will do a lot of damage to the hull, but your crew will only suffer some nasty bruises from being thrown around by the impact. Unless your ship is ruptured (it hits 0 overall HP) of course, in which case your whole crew will be vented into space, yourself included. Components will take damage too. Mostly it's random which components get hit, but you can install armour to take some of the hits in place of your vital components. There's also crew combat. Sometimes an enemy ship will board you. It's best to have a combat team on-board to dispatch, otherwise you'll be stuck with inexperienced E-techs and Ship Operators shakily holding pistols. Your captain can be a powerful force in crew combat but be careful, defeat in crew combat often means death. If they succeed in beating the local crew (in a 4v4 battle) they'll get a chance to sabotage your ship before returning to their own ship. Of course, you'll also be 4 crewmen down.
The good news is that you can do all these things to your enemy too! Want to bake them alive with radiation and strip their hull for parts and profit? You can do that. Want to slam your dart of a ship into their battle-cruiser, boarding it and having your pro combat team tear it apart from the inside out? You can do that! Just want to pelt them with the biggest guns for the highest damage to get them out your way? You can do that.
I highly recommend this game. It's got a bit of a learning curve but the immersion and satisfying moments I've gotten out of it put a lot of much higher budget games to shame. There's some really good story lines and quests in there, and it has 9 different difficulty setting so that you can enjoy it however you want.
It really deserves a lot more love than it's gotten and I hope a few more people get to enjoy it after seeing this!

I keep getting confronted about damaged packages. I don't know what's in the packaging most of the time because drivers don't pack them, and I don't know why they did such a shit job taping the thing. I don't blame them though, because they have to face wraths of both drivers for looking like fucking zombies at loadout just standing there while packages are delayed and from their supervisors for their performance.
I don't need or want random garbage when my house is already almost overflowing. What you are ordering is probably not as expensive as what I'm spending on my hobby or my stocks so I literally don't give a shit about the idea of stealing for some extra cash.
I will be honest and say that some drivers are shady as fuck and steal, but they likely won't last very long. I've been doing this shit for almost three years now. If I wanted to end this, I would've done it much earlier.
I try to leave out packages that are leaking or is wide open and has nothing in them, but if you still somehow got it, it's probably because I missed it or it's because I didn't want to carry that back to my van or to the station (likely because you ordered 40+ lbs up several flights of stairs). Just contact customer support and have them replace it for you. No, WE DO NOT DO RETURNS; PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO TAKE IT once it's been delivered.

Hi, I know this is mostly for couple relationships. But I don't know where else to post this. I can't post in aith as mostly foreigners are there
I'm 29M. I have some trouble in my family would be a major understatement. The situation is so worse that I can't explain to anyone in my real life. Situation became so dire, I left my house and staying away and my parents calling me failure and abandoner. Its a toxic household. My brother hits my parents and I end up leaving the house while my parents defend him.
3 weeks back my brother hit my father, my father started crying profusely and started to scream and saying he'll call police. I asked my brother to leave. He does but comes back and starts acting lunatically, saying he's ready to go to Jail and loose his job but he'll expose my father for what he is. They had an argument coz he's not marrying and he has a girlfriend from work living not less 200 m away in a separate society. Which has come to our house and met my parents as well. My father had a agreement with him to get married by March this year. But such a manipulator and liar he is that was another one of his delaying tactics. Or maybe he said one two many lies and this caught up to him. When my father out of anger said to him to leave the house, he shamelessly said he won't he also contributed to it. The reason behind his fearlessness was my mother as she supported it. She actually supported him hitting him and later tried to justified by saying it was a minor hit and it didn't break his bone or something.
My brother has a history, he broke my mother's hand when I was in school and he was in college first year. He wanted to stay in hostel and my parents didn't let him. I come back from tuition and witness that. Looking back at it, this fueled his shamelessness and fearlessness as all the relatives knew this and it didn't bother him later on.
My family quite disfunctional since very beginning. We have lived in major cities for most part, my father was working in government service and got transferred a lot. My elder brother (4 years elder) and I work both in metro city and lived with my family here. Father retired last year. Mother a housewife.
Now here's the issue part. My father has been a wifebeater and sole earner. Him and my mother had issues since beginning. And they generally didn't have any understanding is what I saw. Trust was less as well. Mother used to bitch about him which my elder brother took quite well and to certain extent me too, but I started to see through it few times and ramblings of a frustrated woman as my father used to like being reveled by relatives so she feared him being more involved there.
One other side of this also the relationship of my mother and elder brother, they both grew some sort of symbiotic relationship where they each were masking each other's shortcomings by excuses and became each other's negative support system.
So that was in past then as we grew up our father also matured a bit in past few years but not a lot.
Now, so far it seems like every other family's trouble. Here's the main issue, I started observing certain things since past few years which made me really irked and start to distrust my family.
I don't trust my elder brother since few years 6-7 to be precise. And he has a history of beating me as well. Something in him makes me tick. Like he's trying to treat us like he treats outsiders, for profit of his own. I don't consider him my elder brother either. While my parents always try to shame me by saying I hit him as he is my elder brother, while they themselves flaunt society's rules as they like.
Last few years, I saw some issues with myself and loneliness, one time parents asked me and my brother to come to my father's posted place as he was getting retired and help shift. When I reached I'm told they have planned(my brother and them) a trip and invited me. I hadn't taken any leaves and this was extreme short notice so I couldn't get leaves. They just thought it would be very easy for me to get it. Like I was really pissed. I stayed there alone for 1 week while taking care of their stuff.
When they came back I broke down, and cried and told about my struggles with depression, my mother at that time cried. I suggested them to start searching for a bride for me. Before all this, some stuff was already happening with regards to my brother's marriage since that past year and I wasn't on speaking terms with my brother. But I saw them berating him by saying if he doesn't get married, it will be issue for me. So I tried to calm them separately by telling them to start searching for me if he's not cooperating. Mind you I was settled financially and of age, only thing stopping them was my brother was unmarried then. I thought I had managed to make a breakthrough, and could get some support with my issues but no.
My brother had a girlfriend whom I had met and had visited my house met my parents. She ditched him for reasons only he knows and from then onwards I only saw his hippocrit facade like the way he manipulated lied to my parents about meeting with prospects and finding excuses to not get married. He wasn't interested, just kept delaying and this kept frustrating my parents. He also blamed his failed relationship on my father as he said something angrily along the lines of him hitting his girlfriend when he was angry as he witnessed his father do that all his life.
This caused fights too, sometime I got involved as well. Like he threw food plate at my mother and I intervened. I had to say some harsh stuff and fight ensued. Physical too. This has been an recurring phenomenon.
My parents are no saint either. My father last year beat my mother at age of 60 no less. Like I said very disfunctional family.
After my heart to heart with my parents, they completely forgot about it. They say they didn't but they did. They never mentioned one girl, didn't even make JS/Shaadi profile for me. Look the issue is not that marriage was biggest priority for me. But that it wasn't even a priority for them when I specifically said about it.
Now another tragedy happened. I got laid off. I didn't utter a word. Then in between 6 months later from that talk they stuck me with the most shameless question ever asked by them. They tell me they had it enough with my brother's bullshit and wanted to search for me. I was almost about to lose it. But at that point I was at very low coz of my job situation and was seriously doubting my luck. Still am. Been doubting since Covid. I made up some excuse to make them lose interest in it.
Then some months later in another fight I brought it up and gave them an earful.
During all this I tried leaving my house twice for good. One time I actually rented a place. One time I gave an ultimatum that he leaves or I leave but my parents somehow convinced me to stay. Toxicity was through the roof. Parents fighting often, quite on the edge of physicality, my mother doesn't hold bapck a bit if we are around. My father is I feel is semi bipolar always on ego trip. And my brother a lying manipulator angling for his gains.
This time I couldn't hold back and decided to leavd I won't come back at all. I offered to take my father too. I declared my mother's case hopeless as the way she behaved after my brother hit my father and proudly berated him shamelessly like she felt someone took revenge of all those years of beatings and shame she got. While I held my head in shame by looking at what was unfolding. I couldn't hold back and abused them for their behavior. These shameless people started coming at me.
I was irked at the fact that my brother had his girlfriend living in the neighborhood and she used to come and visit and my folks weren't least bit bothered as they thought these guys were getting married. When in fact my folks had not even talked with her parents. Only with her elder sister who was doing a love marriage inter caste after threatening to take poison. So my mother was like believe in love an all that crap and talk about social and family values too. I am not conservative I met his first girlfriend before anyone else in family. But this was too much, if you are such big into love and family values and keeping appearance in society then marry and end it. Apparently the girl wanted to marry only after elder sister marries, so society rules exist for her but not for my family.
All this combined I stated my discomfort shared an ultimatum that he should leave and stay separately till his matter is resolved. My mother and brother came at me. They called me failure and said I was jealous of him cause of my failures to secure a person in my life. So I realised my mother was with him
I know this is too much but coz of this I left and this time I thought I was leaving with my father's blessings, but I was wrong that was just momentary coz of his anger after getting beaten by my brother.
I have been living away now for few weeks just few km away. So that I can go back if required but now the tune of my parents have changed completely. They are calling me deserter coz I left house. How can I live in that toxic family household ? And a lot of other things, as I can't help but scream at their shamelessness.
I wish old age days come back coz then you could call few relatives to sort things out. Or atleast discuss who's wrong, here they justify their doings as everyone is doing it in society, everyone fights, everyone's a little shameless so its fine. While I can't just become ostrich and deal with things when it strictly affects me. My brother's actions deeply affected me. I was depressed and had to deal with it alone, coz my parents were too busy with his bullshit and then I saw their real self. Lots of stuff I haven't mentioned here. Like how my own father defended him getting beaten as his own fruits of his deeds to defend my brother. That broke the straw for me and made me realise he was the favorite son for both of them. No amount of his shameful deeds can change it. And they will bend backwards to justify it.
Worst part is which I can't shake off, I called them selfish, shameless, mental and stupid fools who got cheated by their own son. They are equating it with my brother's beatings. Saying I'm equally as deplorable as him, as its equal as beating. In which world ?
Am I the asshole ? Should I continue on my path ? Discussions and talks with my parents result in screamings as I need a neutral party as they changed the rules of civil society to fit their narrative as society has changed so its fine as everyone does it. I told them if they can find even one person in their age group who thinks I'm wrong I'll come back and apologise. They told me they have no interest in getting laughed at and this happens everywhere. And I am equally guilty for abusing them. I can't take it any more. Is staying in family means becoming like them ? Is that the rule ? I don't want to become like them. I want peace. I don't want anything from them. Will take care of them in old age. But my trust is completely gone in them forever.
My family is saying to come back and stay there and my brother will leave after getting married, saying I'm equally guilty in this as I also said harsh stuff. How is happening in this shitty world ? I send money every month and will continue to do so. Just can't live at that sham place. I have lost complete trust in society if these are my parents.
Edit: today has been extremely shitty day. I thought they would have realised by now their shame and hippocrissy. Apparently the reason my brother is such a good manipulator and liar is coz he knows my parent's weakness, they want the appearance of great family and will go to great lengths to mask it. Hence me saying stuff about my brother and they try to bring me down to his level so I'll stop making noise about it.
TLDR: Left toxic family where brother hits father. Has history of hitting me and mother too. Parents fight too physically and defend him and his actions. And asking me to stay in that environment.

I am employed by an insurance agent manager last January 2022 as an Admin Assistant, Based sa Employee Handbook that we signed, I am subjected to a performance review upon regularization (6mos) and annual performance evaluation and application for HMO. I got both within the given time frame (6mos) . Fast forward to my 1st year being employed, I did not get the annual performance evaluation and he said that "Sa June pa ulit since ang last increase mo is June" I don't know if i that is how "annual evaluation" works . I waited June 2023 for my increase AKA "performance evaluation" but laging napupush ng months. Yun pala kaya napupush was my employer decided to switch companies. Details were confidential he instructed me to signed an NDA. Worried about losing my job and being unemployed, I signed it. Told me "WE" were going to another company , all benefits intact and the promised "Salary Increase". I got sick last November 2023 and tried to use my HMO, coordinator said to talk to my employer because i was tagged as "not currently working" for the previous company , I have to pay full price for the consult and some tests. January 2024, i was scheduled by my employer for a meeting to discuss the "Performance evaluation". To my dismay, I only got 1k increase monthly to my salary which I waited 1 year and 6 mos .When asked about the HMO, he said "Naghahanap pa for all agents and staff" What should I do about this ? How do I bring this up to him ? Okay lang ba na tinanggap ko ung increase which is a year and a half late ?