TL;DR My wife feels guilty when I give her gifts and I don't know what to do anymore.
Hey guys, I need some advice on this because I don't know what else to do. Sorry for any errors in advance, English is not my main language.
Me (29F) and my wife (23F) have been married for almost two years now, and we have been together for almost four years in total. Unfortunately she had a bad childhood since her mom is literally the worst and always made her feel guilty about everything.
I love to give gifts, and so does she. Normally I give her gifts when it's her birthday, Christmas, and our wedding anniversary. Besides those specific times, I sometimes give her flowers.
She has always felt a little guilty receiving gifts due to her childhood, but she always got really happy receiving them, genuinely happy. But deep down she also felt guilty, and felt like she had to give me something that costed the same or above that price (keep in mind she knew the prices because it was stuff she already wanted and kept it in a wishlist, so she knew the prices beforehand).
This has gotten worse since I got my new job, that is now paying me really well, and I am finally able to give her better gifts. For our two year wedding anniversary I booked a weekend get out with a spa, private beach and everything, and she was really happy about it. Since it is our anniversary, I also wanted to give her something. She loves Deadpool, and Pandora just launched a collection with him, so I got her that. I also noticed she had a lot of makeup on her wishlist, so I thought about giving her something else, since now I am able to.
I asked her how she felt about it and she said she didn't want it. That she knew I already got her something and didn't even want me to get her something in the first place. I told her her we could reach a middle ground on me not giving her anything else for our wedding anniversary, but she was really upset saying that she didn't even want the other gift in the first place. This turned into a little argument and she told me that she would never be able to give me something like that (price wise) and that she felt even more guilty.
Maybe I am in the wrong here, I don't know, I don't think not buying her gifts is the solution here, but she seems to not want to reach a middle ground with me. I know she feels guilty about receiving gifts, and now I think it's worse because she thinks she will never be able to give me expensive things.
What should I do? Any advice on this? I love her and want to spoil her, but I don't want her to feel bad either. She is already being seen by a psychiatrist for a while, they have talked about it but not a lot.
Thanks in advance.

It’s a little long but pls don’t mind any grammar errors I honesty need advice!
Okay so… I don’t know how to feel about this…basically a few days ago last week my sister said that she would pick me up the day before to go look at some wedding places. So the next day comes and the first thing I do is make my bed because I don’t have much in my room for it to get dirty at all. I do a big clean every now and then.
I finish a few hours later I text my sister to ask if she was still coming just to check”she said yes”. So then I literally get the most horrible headache I literally had just came off my cycle a few days before. I decide to take some pills and lay down.
She ended up being on the way earlier. So I get up still with a horrible headache. I fixed the comforter on my bed and then I realized I needed to do something important. So I go to get this item from under my tv stand AND THE WHOLE SHELF COLLAPSE . For no reason at all barely anything under there.
As soon as that happen she pulled up so then I hear my auntie say she outside. So I’m really rushing I put everything back as neat as possible. I accidentally left the closet door open.
Ok so here’s where it gets crazy I come home with the headache still. I’m hungry my sister bought me some food so I’m getting ready to eat outside. Next thing I know my auntie comes to the door and starts yelling about the room. I’m not talking back or anything I’m listening to her. She tells me I need to clean my room and brings up the stuff I mentioned earlier about the tv stand etc.
I go back there to fix everything but I forgot about what happened earlier because I have bad migraines. Then I remembered and I explained to her what happened she cut me off. She never ever lets me finish. The whole time I remained calm. She then said the stuff you just said was dumb.
She didn’t even believe the tv stand accident happened so I got tired of explaining myself so I just kept quiet. Now it’s a few minutes later I’m cleaning it again because she doesn’t like it. Next thing I know it falls again! I go get her to show her and I tell her it fell again. She says what fell. I had mentioned what fell.
She tells me ok just lay it in the bottom. Then a few minutes hit and on everything I just pushed my door up to relieve stress from crying so bad because she does things to me. And calls me names etc. she opens my door more and tells me you can’t close your door till you learn to be respectful.
I was so done. THEN LATER I REALIZED SOMETHING WAS OFF WITH ONE OF MY WINDOWS! She took down the curtain that gives me privacy. We have a neighbor right across from my house we don’t have a gate. She steps outside and is immediately in our area. Now when I change I have to be careful because she came out recently with her bf and I was scared because I was changing. She brings people over a lot.

My partner left me with our two young children after grooming me for years. How do I heal?
I am 26f and my ex partner is 69m.
That’s hard to type out and admit to the situation I’ve found myself in. This has been my biggest secret for years.
I met my partner at 19. I worked as a waitress at the barestaurant he owns. I had a lot of fun I was cute and I loved being around customers. My personality was sarcastic and charming. A lot of people became my friends there. He watched me a lot and he gave me uneasy vibes. I kept it to myself he was a known creep. I didn’t think much of it until I had turned 21 (still working as a waitress) and he started becoming inappropriate with me. He would touch me around corners and spaces where I couldn’t push him away or it would be obvious to others what he was doing. For some reason I didn’t want to get him caught. He stayed in a dark room next to the bathrooms when I went to go pee one drink night after work I was drinking with my coworkers. He held my wrists led me into the dark side of the room and forcibly made me make out with him. That was the beginning.
I didn’t have much family and what I did have was an addict mother and a distant dad. I didn’t have a good example or even anyone to talk to about this. He poured sweet words into my head and professed his love and honestly it felt nice. He had found out I was a virgin after our first encounter. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want to look like a child. He treated me like a hookup. Once he found out I was a virgin and he was my first he had become obsessive with me.
I found out he was married and had children older than me. He gave me the same story any married man would give you and me being so struck by him I dealt with it. I know I’m wrong. I will be punished in life for what I’ve done emotionally to this other woman. I’m not a victim.
He convinced me to have his child. He was having sex with me unprotected and professed how badly he wanted another chance at fatherhood. He was so busy with his first children he felt he missed out. His parents moved from his hometown in Greece to help him and his wife raise the children. I gave in. I was 23 and wanted a child. I knew he could support that child comfortably. I was very naive.
I was induced and had a quiet lonely labor without him present. I moved in with my mother and raised my daughter quietly mostly on my own. (My pregnancy was kept secret until I gave birth) I loved her so much. My whole life felt changed. It was hard to cope having him pop in and out but I tried to believe his love and made it work. Anytime I asked him for more time he got angry and told me I was asking too much. He was becoming insecure and more controlling. He secretly put trackers on my car. Had my phones location and checked my phone regularly.
I broke it off because I resented my loneliness so much. I became close with a guy my age. He was compassionate, loved my daughter, and enjoyed being my friend. My ex partner discovered my relationship by having microphones and trackers on my car and diaper bag
I was trying to coparent with my partner but he makes it very difficult trying to bring me back to him. Eventually he convinced me to come back to him move out of my home and try to be a family. I give in and try my best to make this work. He is more insecure calling me insults. A whore for being with another man and that I have ruined everything he will never love me the same. He eventually calms down and we get into a little routine with very high ups and very low lows.
Fast forward I accidentally become pregnant with our second child. I was distraught. I didn’t know how I would handle two children on my own with little help. My pregnancy put me in the hospital a dozen times from extreme sickness which looking back was extreme anxiety. I wanted to terminate but I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t allow me to. He confessed the affair to his wife and he moved in fully with me. She threatened me and tried to confront me but I was very pregnant and sick I couldn’t handle it. He reassured me he was with me because the kids needed him. He promised he would never leave. I tried to be secure and be excited for our second child. We found out she was another girl. I was happier than I’d been in years.
A few days before I had our daughter his oldest child died in a tragic accident. I tried to wait and hold off going into labor before the funeral. I had my child the morning of his viewing.
Midnight I went into labor he had stumbled home after drinking and grieving. He tried to force sexual acts on me but I had to explain I was in labor. He yelled at me on the way to the hospital for being in so much pain I threw up in his car. He was so different. I chalked it up to his child dying I needed to let him go through it atleast he was here this time.
I had a very hard labor our daughter got stuck but she came three hours later. He seemed disassociated the whole birth. He left an hour after I had her to go home sleep and get ready for the viewing later. He patted my shoulder and said good job. I bit my lip and tried to be positive. My mother brought me home two days later
I learned to breastfeed and give my toddler attention. I never asked him to help me I was on my own again and I was determined to do it on my own. He was in between my house and his ex wives to help . They were both grieving I tried to be understanding but I was alone except for at night. I started resenting him and fighting more than ever before. He started going away on fishing trips more and more. He only came home for sex. I kept the house clean and tried to keep him happy with sex even if my body wasn’t ready. He was getting frustrated and pushing me away. He couldn’t accept my postpartum and said him being financially responsible was enough. I asked too much and I wasn’t happy all I did was bitch at him I was unappreciative I was a whore. Eventually nothings could be said. Maybe I’m wrong for bitching all the time I couldn’t stop I just wanted to pull him in and be there for him while he was grieving
I had a lot of suspicions. He started hating me. He insulted me and put me down sex started to hurt. He was different. I became different and angry when before I would pretend to be happy
It all ended a few days ago. He called on his way back from a fishing trip. He said we were done I pushed him away I caused this. After a lot of me begging for an explanation he finally told me he’s going back to his wife they need to support each other in their grief. He says I played a huge role in this and his child dying was karma for what we did. He packed all of his things and I came home to an empty house. I’m gutted and devastated.
Our last conversation he wants me to live in our current home that he owns and he will make a lease agreement I have to sign. I will not be doing that. I will be moving with my family an hour and a half away and filing emergency custody. I will let him have some time as well. One of the terms in his lease is that I have to agree to never have another man around our kids. I will never sign and let him control me again
How do I heal and coparent with this man that hurt me all these years.

So I'm an early 30s married woman who recently began a new job. Most people were very friendly to me when I began with the exception of one guy (mid 30s, also married). He's pretty relevant at the company so I put in some effort to be friendly when I first started.
It seemed like he reacted pretty positively to that friendliness because he became alot more jovial when helping with things, but I also noticed that he seemed uncomfortable when I brought up my husband. I also overheard someone talking to him about how someone has been married for 3 years (I think it was me) and they said something like "sorry man".
I think he has a mini-crush on me and the problem is I also have a mini-crush on him. I get nervous that I'm being creepy/ too friendly in a way that I'm not around my other colleagues and then pull back. It has led me to be awkward and avoiding-y at times and I think he also is doing the same, but he's doing it alot more than I am (probably in response to me doing that). I think other people have picked up on the weird dynamic and that also makes me feel uncomfortable.
I would never do anything because I'm really in love with my husband and I know he's the perfect man for me - we are best friends, our sex is amazing, we're really aligned on what we want out of life. I don't think he'd do anything either because his wife is honestly 10x hotter than me and I don't think he'd have a crush on me or be remotely interested in me if we were both single.
I'm finally not at a toxic workplace and doing work I love - I just want my colleagues to be comfortable around me and for me to be comfortable around them. I just want to stay here and not get let go because I'm not a "cultural fit" - ie someone feels uncomfortable around me and they are important at the firm.
Wtf do I do?

My partner left me with our two young children after grooming me for years. How do I heal?
I am 26f and my ex partner is 69m.
That’s hard to type out and admit to the situation I’ve found myself in. This has been my biggest secret for years.
I met my partner at 19. I worked as a waitress at the barestaurant he owns. I had a lot of fun I was cute and I loved being around customers. My personality was sarcastic and charming. A lot of people became my friends there. He watched me a lot and he gave me uneasy vibes. I kept it to myself he was a known creep. I didn’t think much of it until I had turned 21 (still working as a waitress) and he started becoming inappropriate with me. He would touch me around corners and spaces where I couldn’t push him away or it would be obvious to others what he was doing. For some reason I didn’t want to get him caught. He stayed in a dark room next to the bathrooms when I went to go pee one drink night after work I was drinking with my coworkers. He held my wrists led me into the dark side of the room and forcibly made me make out with him. That was the beginning.
I didn’t have much family and what I did have was an addict mother and a distant dad. I didn’t have a good example or even anyone to talk to about this. He poured sweet words into my head and professed his love and honestly it felt nice. He had found out I was a virgin after our first encounter. I was too scared to tell him I didn’t want to look like a child. He treated me like a hookup. Once he found out I was a virgin and he was my first he had become obsessive with me.
I found out he was married and had children older than me. He gave me the same story any married man would give you and me being so struck by him I dealt with it. I know I’m wrong. I will be punished in life for what I’ve done emotionally to this other woman. I’m not a victim.
He convinced me to have his child. He was having sex with me unprotected and professed how badly he wanted another chance at fatherhood. He was so busy with his first children he felt he missed out. His parents moved from his hometown in Greece to help him and his wife raise the children. I gave in. I was 23 and wanted a child. I knew he could support that child comfortably. I was very naive.
I was induced and had a quiet lonely labor without him present. I moved in with my mother and raised my daughter quietly mostly on my own. (My pregnancy was kept secret until I gave birth) I loved her so much. My whole life felt changed. It was hard to cope having him pop in and out but I tried to believe his love and made it work. Anytime I asked him for more time he got angry and told me I was asking too much. He was becoming insecure and more controlling. He secretly put trackers on my car. Had my phones location and checked my phone regularly.
I broke it off because I resented my loneliness so much. I became close with a guy my age. He was compassionate, loved my daughter, and enjoyed being my friend. My ex partner discovered my relationship by having microphones and trackers on my car and diaper bag
I was trying to coparent with my partner but he makes it very difficult trying to bring me back to him. Eventually he convinced me to come back to him move out of my home and try to be a family. I give in and try my best to make this work. He is more insecure calling me insults. A whore for being with another man and that I have ruined everything he will never love me the same. He eventually calms down and we get into a little routine with very high ups and very low lows.
Fast forward I accidentally become pregnant with our second child. I was distraught. I didn’t know how I would handle two children on my own with little help. My pregnancy put me in the hospital a dozen times from extreme sickness which looking back was extreme anxiety. I wanted to terminate but I couldn’t afford it and he wouldn’t allow me to. He confessed the affair to his wife and he moved in fully with me. She threatened me and tried to confront me but I was very pregnant and sick I couldn’t handle it. He reassured me he was with me because the kids needed him. He promised he would never leave. I tried to be secure and be excited for our second child. We found out she was another girl. I was happier than I’d been in years.
A few days before I had our daughter his oldest child died in a tragic accident. I tried to wait and hold off going into labor before the funeral. I had my child the morning of his viewing.
Midnight I went into labor he had stumbled home after drinking and grieving. He tried to force sexual acts on me but I had to explain I was in labor. He yelled at me on the way to the hospital for being in so much pain I threw up in his car. He was so different. I chalked it up to his child dying I needed to let him go through it atleast he was here this time.
I had a very hard labor our daughter got stuck but she came three hours later. He seemed disassociated the whole birth. He left an hour after I had her to go home sleep and get ready for the viewing later. He patted my shoulder and said good job. I bit my lip and tried to be positive. My mother brought me home two days later
I learned to breastfeed and give my toddler attention. I never asked him to help me I was on my own again and I was determined to do it on my own. He was in between my house and his ex wives to help . They were both grieving I tried to be understanding but I was alone except for at night. I started resenting him and fighting more than ever before. He started going away on fishing trips more and more. He only came home for sex. I kept the house clean and tried to keep him happy with sex even if my body wasn’t ready. He was getting frustrated and pushing me away. He couldn’t accept my postpartum and said him being financially responsible was enough. I asked too much and I wasn’t happy all I did was bitch at him I was unappreciative I was a whore. Eventually nothings could be said. Maybe I’m wrong for bitching all the time I couldn’t stop I just wanted to pull him in and be there for him while he was grieving
I had a lot of suspicions. He started hating me. He insulted me and put me down sex started to hurt. He was different. I became different and angry when before I would pretend to be happy
It all ended a few days ago. He called on his way back from a fishing trip. He said we were done I pushed him away I caused this. After a lot of me begging for an explanation he finally told me he’s going back to his wife they need to support each other in their grief. He says I played a huge role in this and his child dying was karma for what we did. He packed all of his things and I came home to an empty house. I’m gutted and devastated.
Our last conversation he wants me to live in our current home that he owns and he will make a lease agreement I have to sign. I will not be doing that. I will be moving with my family an hour and a half away and filing emergency custody. I will let him have some time as well. One of the terms in his lease is that I have to agree to never have another man around our kids. I will never sign and let him control me again
How do I heal and coparent with this man that hurt me all these years.

Hello all. First time poster here, so please be nice.
First some background. I was married to my first wife for 12 years before she passed away leaving me with two children. A few years later I remarried and I can tell you that its been a major challange for both my kids and my wife. Wont go into it, but suffice to say, we had a lot of adjustment. I used to be the disciplinarian for my kids, but after their Mom died, I let some of that go. My new wife is very much the enforcer and I’ve learned to support her over the years (for the betterment of our children), bit I’ve often also needed to pull her back from the draconian way she wants to run children (she sees them ad young adults either full capabilities rather than developing people). All in all, I think we reached a good place over all, and we both worked to fond that balance, but it has been a struggle.
My daughter just recently turned 18 and her relationship with my wife has deteriorated over about the last year and a half. I know this is normal and my wife and I have been handling this. My daughter is in the process of moving out (her choice, not ours) and I’m kinda proud at how she figured out her finances and everything. As she was cleaning out her room though (she has hording tenancies) we started talking about what to do with her trash. Tons of garbage. Fortunately our HOA has a dumpster day where they make dumpsters available and my daughter agreed she would have all her trash done and she would take it to the dumpster.
Today, she came to me and said she would be unable to take the trash to the dumpster as agreed because she had a meeting she didn’t know about. I told her I was upset because we didn’t have room in our trash. After talking I told her to load her trash into my car and I would take it over for her.
I talked to my wife and she got angry with me. She said my daughter should pay $80 to take it to the dump because she failed to follow through and I know she thinks I bail the kids out far too often. This hasn’t been true for the last couple of years, but she was not wrong. In this case, though, my daughter is literally out the door. We have one more day of dealing with this crap and I told my wife it was far less aggravation for me to deal with the trash than to simply do it for her this one last time.
And yes, we made it clear that when shes on her own, she cant continue to use us as a crutch, so this truly is the last time. AITAH for choosing to avoid conflict and drama to just get things done and have my daughter depart on amiable terms. I know I’m taking a very “male” outlook on this and choosing the path of least resistance.

Hey Reddit, I need to share something that happened recently with my daughter.
For context, my daughter has been dealing with a bully at school for years. I've tried everything: talking to the parents, contacting the school. The parents shrugged it off as "kids being kids," and the school pretended to care but didn't do anything substantial. I've asked my daughter multiple times if she wanted to switch schools, but she always said no because she didn't want to leave her friends. She's had a rough time making friends due to her autism and ADHD.
This bully has been relentless, and lately, it got worse. He would shove her in the halls, call her names like "retard" and "weirdo," and even throw her to the ground. Despite a recent growth spurt making her taller than most kids in her grade (5th), she didn't know how to defend herself. My wife always encouraged "killing them with kindness," but that never worked. I've been telling her for the past year to stand up for herself and fight back if necessary.
Yesterday, she came home crying, and it broke my heart. I wasn't harsh, but I was firm and told her that if she didn't fight back next time, I would pull her out of that school. Well, today I got a call from my wife after work. She told me what happened. During lunch, the bully shoved my daughter to the ground, bruising her knees. My daughter got up and punched him right in the face, causing his nose to bleed.
The bully started crying, and my daughter felt a bit bad (she has a heart of gold). His parents contacted us, threatening to sue, saying their son's nose was broken. My wife is upset with me because I'm over the moon about it. I don't condone violence, but in this case, something had to be done. Anyone who disagrees hasn't seen the pain this bully caused my daughter.
If his parents had taken it seriously when I first spoke to them, it wouldn't have come to this. I had my own bullies as a kid and never stood up for myself. I'm glad my daughter is tougher than I was. I hope this teaches her to never be afraid to stand up for herself. Today, I'm a very proud dad.

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Only Discuss Movies You Thought Were Great

I define great movies to be 8+ or if you abhor grades, the top 20% of all movies you've ever seen. Films listed by posters within this thread receive a Vote to determine if they will appear in subreddit's Top 100, as well as the ten highest Upvoted Suggested movies from last month. The Top 10 highest Upvoted from last month were:

Top 10 Suggestions

#	Title	Upvotes
1.	Sucker Punch (2011)	113
2.	The Mist (2007)	51
3.	Mars Express (2023)	17
4.	The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)	14
5.	Talk to Me (2023)	13
6.	Dinner in America (2020)	10
7.	Abigail (2024)	8
8.	Leave No Trace (2018)	9
9.	True Lies (1994)	7
10.	The Last Stop in Yuma County (2023)	9

Note: Due to Reddit's Upvote fuzzing, it will rank movies in their actual highest Upvoted and then assign random numbers. This can result in movies with lower Upvotes appearing higher than movies with higher Upvotes.
What are the top films you saw in May 2024 and why? Here are my picks:

Abigail (2024)

Unfortunately, I was spoiled past the initial premise of kidnappers realizing they've abducted a ruthless mobster's daughter. It didn't matter, Abigail is a great production of the directing duo Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillet. They brought rich colours, readible darkness and a satisfying group of actors who executed each of their roles impressively. Seriously, I don't want to praise one actor specifically because my paragraph review would need a lot more lines; if you enjoyed this team's past works, you'll find Abigail to be an even further refinement.

Boy Kills World (2023)

The fourth credit after the movie ends is the action and fight designer, he really made compelling action scenes that sell this movie. It's bloody, it's ridiculous and kind of silly at times, but I dug it like 80s ads for RoboCop action figures, despite that movie being Rated R. Jessica Roethe's character intelligently wears a helmet, so when she's in enforcer mode we get some truly awesome fight cheorography pulled off by a stunt performer who can do it. A love letter to beat 'em ups.

Civil War (2024)

Americans think a Civil War is inevitable and based off of their propaganda machine of American Army sponsored action movies, they'll think it'll be awesome. Garland intends to grab them by the snout and rub their nose in what a dirty mess that would be. I hope that the ugliness in this movie is enough to thwart the typical failing of Anti-War Movies but I doubt that. Those salivating at the idea of the next American Civil War wouldn't be deterred by the horrors but readily take notes.

Destroy All Neighbours (2024)

Every now and then, you come across something that feels like it was made specifically for you. Growing up, I listened to a lot of prog and power metal for their complex melodies and stories. I also have a soft spot for splatter comedies, there's something I find oddly wholesome that the protagonists being able to crack jokes despite being covered in blood and guts. I loved Destroy All Neighbours and you probably wouldn't but that's OK. There's probably a film out there that speaks directly to you that I wouldn't get the appeal of and I'm glad you discovered it.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

I've been catching snippets of Dune's music and it made me want to revisit. A second time through, there are a few more flaws; rough spots, at best, like very clever tricks to make a particular scene flow together. And then I noticed even more interesting bits that I didn't notice the first time around. Overall, Dune: Part Two has risen in my estimation even further.

The Fall Guy (2024)

A love letter to stunts and how they make movies thrilling. It's nice to see a direct pull back wide so you can see how they get rough and tumble, letting stunts get their time in the sun instead of being relegated to a chopped up cut that no one knows what the hell is going on. It's also fun and light, just like a popcorn flick should be. If you're a fan of action, you need to see this.

Infested (2023)

A consistent horror movie with no contrived struggles or wins, everything is clearly telegraphed which enunciates the tension. The treatment of the protagonists due to their obvious poverty is a nice touch, as you could easily see someone richer being treated better. Infested then also manages to cram in a pretty good 'Elevated Horror' where the trauma of the film requires them to re-examine their previous problems. The spiders were also incredible, those with arachnaphobia who might be able to stomach spider-adjacent monsters will probably find the film overwhelming.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Just shy of perfection; it's hard to move past what I now know of Kevin Spacey. Before, I thought he was a good actor and now I know it is movies that let him be himself. That taints the rest of the cast's performances, I couldn't see the character just the exploiter. Which is a shame, as look, writing and acting is otherwise phenomenonal.

Lisa Frakenstein (2024)

God, armed with Diablo Cody's words and under Zelda Williams direction, Kathryn Newton embodies the alt girl chic of the 80s of your dreams and nightmares. It goes full tilt into being a Gothic Horror Comedy which I realize is actually rare. The movie focuses on the drama, letting the comedy to organically come up, which means it is a delightful surprise instead of contrived. Cody even makes the typical different, such as having a nice, wholesome stepsister played incredibly by Liza Soberano. The test for enjoying this movie is simple; at any point were you obsessed with Beetlejuice? In which case, run to check this flick out.
What were your picks for May 2024?

My Brother in-law (bil) passed away May 26 so let just say that this last week sucked.
Everything started at about 7:00am last Saturday. This was the first weekend after school was out and the dogs bladder didn’t get the message so she woke up my son. My phone rings about that time and it is my MIL, odd enough but I answer. She starts by telling me my BIL had a medical emergency and it doesn’t look good. I wake my wife and tell her to get dressed while asking the normal questions what happened are they taking him to the hospital which hospital ect. She answers Local hospital in the Er don’t know what happened and the Dr says it doesn’t look good. I gave the general ok bye and hang up.
Now this is a side note but my wife and I both work in the hospital she an RN and I am a Biomed. So we both know how a hospital handles pt stable, unstable, or deceased.
Back to the story the in-laws all live roughly 1hr away. I still have 2 kids that are fast asleep 10f and 15f and they are notoriously slow getting up. I look at the 17 year old and tell him to finish getting dressed he needs to take his mom to the hospital in the in-laws home town. My thinking was if she hurries at worst and her brothers dies she will get to see him after he was made presentable by the hospital staff and my boy could be ushered to a waiting room until everything was done.
Do I trust my kids to stay home alone. Yes. Do I trust my kids to stay home alone in an emotionally charged situation explitive no there would be blood. The 15f mood/hormones create such a rollercoaster that I get whiplash just being in the room with her on a normal day.
So I let the girls sleep for a bit and keep in contact with my wife while they drive down. They let me know that she talked to her mom and that instead of the hospital they need to go to BIL house. He is a bachelor so no wife or kids so no good reason to be going to his house. They get there and find out that the BIL was never at the hospital he died in his house at 46. I am still at home with the girls and after finding out ask if my wife wants me to bring the girls down. I was told no so I spend the day comforting them here while my wife and son are with her family.
Arrangements are made obituary comes out and my wife and kids are listed but I am not. Mil and Fil’s in-laws are listed but my wife is not shown to be married. I have been married to her for 18 years. My Mil is pretty petty and would do something like this for spite
So am I the asshole for having my feelings hurt and looking to make this an issue with my wife since it is her parents when she get back home from work next week. I already feel like one for getting my son in the mess to start with.

To start this story I’d just like to say I don’t want to upset or offend anybody this is just my personal opinion based off Of things that I have seen in the healthcare field.
This particular night I remember working in a hospital that was on the verge of being closed down. Often times there was one or two patients and 2-3 nurses with a lot of down time. I was working overnight myself but with my job alot of times people didn’t even know I was in the building. So I’m sitting in an empty room which is split by a wall that slides back and forth. I had little to no work because like I said the hospital was closing down so I decided to go in there and take a quick nap. As I’m sitting in there this married nurse very sexy about 5’2 120 lbs curves and a beautiful ass. The kind you can see the curves through her scrubs comes into the room and starts changing the sheets in the room. Where I’m sitting I can see her in the reflection of a mirror but she can’t see me. I don’t think nothing of it and just wait for her to change the sheets and move on. Next thing I know another nurse enters the room. This 5’10 Indian male who is also Married. Now I would never expect these two to hook up but surprise surprise. He walked up behind her reach around grabbed her neck with one hand and pulled her hair lightly with the other and started to kiss her neck. I couldn’t believe it!! She started moaning saying I was hoping you would come in here. As he switched his hand off her neck to start rubbing her breast he said you know I’ve been wanting to fuck you. They made out for awhile and you could feel the passion in the room. Definitely wasn’t the first time. Her pants now down to her knees and him rubbing her pussy over her brown panties I was so hard but so scared to move. He pushed her on the bed and she got on all fours. He pulled her thong down and slowly slide a finger inside of her and you could hear how wet she was. She let out a brief moan and he bent down and started to lick her ass. This went on for about two minutes and she came very hard. The dirty talk was spot on also. Him asking her whose pussy is this? Telling her how he loves how wet she gets. She then turned around sat on the bed and pulled his pants down. From my angle I couldn’t see his cock but as soon as she got her hands on it she looked up and said she loved how big it was and started to suck his cock. She was going crazy on it!! Spitting on it, gagging!! She turned back around on all four and told him to fuck her. He slide right in bare and started to fuck her. He was telling her how much he loves her pussy and all you could hear was her cumming over and over. He pulled out and she grabbed his cock and jerked him off getting every drop of cum out onto the floor. They kissed and returned back to work…..

It has been 4 months, 1 week and 4 days since you left. We were together for 22 years, over half of our lives, and now you're gone.
I didn't know how to exist without you. I didn't know how to wake up and not spend a few seconds listen to you slightly snore beside me. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me during those early morning moments when I'm still half-asleep and I reach over to cuddle - and all that's there is a cold pillow instead of your familiar warmth. I started each day, painfully aware that you're not right next to me, typing and clicking away on your computer. It felt so alien not having the contentment of knowing you were just but a few feet away while we worked, the silence only broken by either of us bitching over this client or that. Gone were our after lunch siestas, where we would just lounge in the couch, watch TV, share stories and jokes we heard each other tell a million times. It was replaced by me sitting alone in the dining table, in front of a half-eaten meal, conpicously wet from the tears I didn't realize was gushing out for the nth time that day.
Somehow, I made it thru each day and though each hour felt like an eternity, night would soon come. Our son would be home by then. Both of us knew we weren't ok, but we would both pretend to be for each other's sake. We shared dinner, talked about school and attempted to cheer each other up. Inadvertently, once of us would mention you and we would quickly change the subject before the tears could come. We were being strong for each other, but I knew I had to be stronger. I lost a wife I have been with for over 2 decades, but he lost someone he knew all his life - without much of an explanation, other than she needs to think of herself from now on and be happy. I knew I could not wallow in sadness. I am a father to a kid who, on top of all this, has to deal with all the usual teenage and school stuff.
Weeks went by, I settled in a routine. It was and still is, extemely hard - juggling work, household chores and raising a kid all alone. I'm struggling so much and I know that I don't do a good enough job. But I am trying my best. And looking back, I am doing a lot better now. I don't cry myself to sleep anymore. I don't wake up in a cold sweat feeling the walls closing in. I don't find myself randomly not being able to breath and having panic attacks. I still think about you everyday though. I miss you so much. I miss you so fucking much.
Today is a Saturday. Cleaning day. I was in the bathroom and there it was, your toothbrush. In the same place it has always been. Right next to mine and our son's. It remained unused for over 4 months, a constant reminder that you chose not to be here anymore. I couldn't bring myself to dispose of it. After all, what would you use when you eventually come back to us, to me. I picked it up and held the tears back. Deep breaths. I threw it in the trash. It's stupid but it felt cathartic.
I checked on our son and he just finished his own chores. We had our afternoon snack and shared stories and jokes we heard each other tell a hundred times. He went up to his room to play on his computer. I listened to him for a few minutes, typing and clicking away on his computer, trash talking here and there. I laughed silently before continuing on my work on the computer. I had to get these done quickly, I still had to clean the bedroom.
I replaced the sheets on the bed and swept the bedroom floor. Under the bed were your bedroom slippers. I picked it up, and held it up against the bedroom light. It was extremely dusty, a constant reminder that you haven't been using them. I took a rag and cleaned it, and debated whether I should just throw it in the trash or give it away. I stifled a laugh on the mental image of our local garbage guy wearing a fluffy pair of cat slippers. And then I placed it carefully on your side of the bed. After all, what would you use when you eventually come back to us, to me. I looked around the bedroom and touched your pillow. It was cold. And then the tears came.

I was just in the recent post about small annoyances and I was about to comment on something SK12 does and realized that she no longer does it. She used to baby talk almost half or more of her conversations, but as I was thinking about it, I realized she no longer does.
I’m one that if I focus too much on the negative things that annoy me, they fester like a wound. Of course we need to vent and I’m not at all criticizing that other thread, but I wanted to also put up a discussion that allows us to also. Mention the good moments. Let’s discuss the things that, despite the faults and annoyances of BM and SKs, they did something positive and good. I’ll start…

• DH has been going through cancer treatments and we’ve had to be gone for weeks at a time a couple times. BM has willingly taken the SDs 10 & 12 without any issue. She’s a complete narcissist so I know she’s probably posting on social media with a lot of “look at me, I’m a great mom” but I don’t care what her motivations are, just that she hasn’t made our lives difficult through this.
  
• SDs alway tell us how good the food is here and that we’re much better cooks that BM. They’ve even told BM this. 😁 Since I’ve been doing all the cooking in recent months, I see this as quite the compliment!
  
• SD12 has been randomly helping to pick up things. I feel like we’ve been really hammering the idea of seeing what’s in front of them, dishes, dirty clothes, etc., It seems to be finally happening.
  
• We started a large kitchen remodel before DHs cancer diagnosis that is largely finished. We had planned on a rather big island and during the renovations, that island almost got cut down in size and I had to “fight” to keep it. I envisioned it as a gathering place for our blended family (3girls between us) and I didn’t want to sacrifice that dream. After 6 months, it has become EXACTLY. SKs come home from school and sit there and talk about their day, rather than running to their video games. My daughter (18) bakes and cooks with me and makes muffins for her step sisters all the time. It’s really brought our family together during a difficult time.
  
• SD10 shares proud moments with me looking for affirmation and signs that I’m proud of her.
  

Those are just a few. Sometimes I need to remind myself of the good things so I don’t focus on the ones that annoy me. It’s far from perfect and there are definitely times I wish SDs were here less or that we had more time for just us. This stepparent thing isn’t for the faint of heart!

English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also a throwaway account because she follows my real account
Basically there was a problem a year ago when we all went out together and got super drunk. this was the first time they met, although we've been together for about 3 years but we live far away from her since she's away for school.
She was being super judgemental about him smoking weed. eventually we all got pretty drunk together and she got really mad at him when we were outside, about him smoking and mad at me that I brought her to his place, calling it a "crackhouse" and a bunch of other stuff. (which is ironic because she hits a bong every day now but anyways), basically when we were outside and drunk and she was being really judgey so he basically said to her, "honestly I don't care what you think and neither does your sister, she chose me not you" (which I think was misinterpreted because of the language barrier, he meant something like im not her family she actually chose to be with me, you're her blood family so she has no choice but to be with you kinda thing. which I agree is messed up for him to say and I think he would apologize to her but now he thinks she's crazy so I don't know if I should even ask him to do that, especially because she said I will never get over it, I will never be okay with him, I will not tolerate hearing anything about him you can talk to ur friends about him not me). but in a way I took his side because she was being really mean and judgy, and it was a dumb thing to say but I guess it was just a heat of the moment thing. in the end she tried to apologize but he wasn't really caring. but she kept insisting and trying to force him to speak to her in that moment and basically accept her apology which he just wasn't ready to do.
we broke up for a few weeks later about completely unrelated stuff and got back together, and I haven't told her that we've been together again for the past few months because I know she hates him. I finally told her and her reacition is basically, how could you get back with him, you're completely disregarding my feelings, he yelled at me in the street (which he actually didn't even yell but I cant really say this to her because I guess thats how she remembers it?) and told me he doesnt care what I think, how could u get back with someone who did that to me, you clearly don't give af about me, you chose him over me, and she said "you clearly don't care what anyone thinks and you're gona do what you want anyways"
it feels really weird to have my little sister look down on me and basically tell me that Im acting like I don't give a f what she thinks. which of course I do. we've always been so close and its weird now that she's not talking to me. the thing is she has been very dramatic about things in the past like this before. for example I didn't want to hang out with her and her bf one day because I was really tired and just didn't have the energy, and she freaked out that I hate her bf and don't want to put in any effort to get to know him. which is not true and ive hung out with him many times before, it was just this one time. so of course I ended up going. or another time she admitted to me that she wanted to do something with me but she said no I won't come I won't do it because she basically wanted me to beg her to come and explain to her that I want her to come so bad please come kinda thing, and THEN shed say yes and come. so when I didn't do that, she was like okay so you don't really care if I come or not I see how it is you don't really care about me.
I just don't really know how to make this right tbh. ever since I told her she's been ignoring me in our family group chat, replying to everyone except me. so I asked her if she doesnt want to talk to me and she said she feels pretty uncomfortable with me now and has been avoiding me. our mom is telling me to talk to her and be the good big sister, but honestly I tried and she just doesnt want to talk to me so idk what she wants me to do. not sure if her goal is for us to break up and then shell be happy but then ill just resent her. I feel like she needs to realize my life doesnt revolve around her and her feelings but I cant say this to her because she will literally hate me and not speak to me ever again it seems. any advice on how to speak with her about this would be really appreciated!
TLDR: sister won't speak to me because my bf was rude to her and she thinks im choosing him over her.

My wife is unmatched in my eyes, as I am seemingly to her. We have been together since we were 20, over 12 years now (married 7) and we just recently adopted our perfect little son.
I grew up with pretty low self-esteem, and I still find it hard to accept all the love and support I recieve on a now daily basis. My wife always mentions how she hopes our son will grow up just like me and that she is so happy to raise a kid together.
The crazy thing is that she is so into me that even objectably lame things that I like have become "cool" to her. I found a "ManBat" while thrifting action figure, a batman villain and she wouldn't stop talking about how happy she was I found it, and then when I was on a video call with my buddy she couldn't help but show off my find.
Also she is super hot so that's cool too.
Here is to love!

Surah Al-Mu’minun, the 23rd chapter of the Holy Quran, resonates deeply with Muslims worldwide. Literally translating to “The Believers,” this powerful Meccan Surah lays the foundation for Islamic faith and illuminates the characteristics of those who embody true belief. Revealed in the early years of Islam, Surah Al-Mu’minun offers a timeless message that continues to guide Muslims across generations.
A Tapestry of Themes: Unveiling the Message
Comprised of 118 verses, Surah Al-Mu’minun unfolds like a captivating tapestry, weaving together interwoven themes:

• The Hallmarks of True Believers (Verses 1-11): The Surah opens with a captivating portrayal of the believers. They are distinguished by their deep humility in prayer (23:2), emphasizing complete submission to Allah (SWT) during worship. Avoiding idle talk (23:3) underscores the importance of safeguarding one’s words and actions. True believers are also known for fulfilling their financial obligations (23:4), reflecting the Islamic concept of social responsibility and supporting those in need. Moral purity (23:5-7) holds immense significance, highlighting the importance of maintaining high moral standards and adhering to chastity. Finally, the Surah emphasizes the value of trustworthiness and commitment (23:8-9) within Islamic society.

Successful indeed are the believers. (Quran 23:1)
Those who offer their Salat (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness. (Quran 23:2)
And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allah has forbidden). (Quran 23:3)
And those who pay the Zakat (Quran 23:4)
And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) (Quran 23:5)
Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; (Quran 23:6)
But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; (Quran 23:7)
Those who are faithfully true to their Amanat (all the duties which Allah has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trusts etc.) and to their covenants; (Quran 23:8)
And those who strictly guard their (five compulsory congregational) Salawat (prayers) (at their fixed stated hours). (Quran 23:9)

• Echoes from the Past: Strengthening Faith through Stories (Verses 11-99): Surah Al-Mu’minun delves into the power of unwavering faith (iman). Verses 11 through 99 present a captivating narrative, weaving together the stories of prominent prophets like Noah (AS) ( عليه السلام), Hud (AS) ( عليه السلام), Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام), and Jesus (AS) ( عليه السلام). Each prophet faced fierce opposition while preaching the message of monotheism and worshipping the one and only God, Allah (SWT). Despite these challenges, their unwavering faith remained a constant source of strength (e.g., verses 23-36 for Noah’s story, verses 48-98 for Moses’ story). By recounting these historical accounts, the Surah reminds Muslims that Allah (SWT) protects and ultimately rewards those who remain steadfast in their beliefs.

And indeed We sent Nuh (Noah) to his people, and he said: “O my people! Worship Allah! You have no other Ilah (God) but Him (Islamic Monotheism). Will you not then be afraid (of Him i.e. of His Punishment because of worshipping others besides Him)?” (Quran 23:23)
Then We sent Our Messengers in succession, every time there came to a nation their Messenger, they denied him, so We made them follow one another (to destruction), and We made them as Ahadith (the true stories for mankind to learn a lesson from them). So away with a people who believe not. (Quran 23:44)
Then We sent Musa (Moses) and his brother Harun (Aaron), with Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and manifest authority, (Quran 23:45)
And We made the son of Maryam (Mary) and his mother as a sign, And We gave them refuge on high ground, a place of rest, security and flowing streams. (Quran 23:50)

• A Glimpse into the Day of Judgement (Verses 99-118): The Surah concludes with a powerful depiction of the Day of Judgement. Vivid descriptions paint a picture of an awe-inspiring event where people will be held accountable for their deeds in this life (verses 99-118). This serves as a stark reminder of the impermanence of this world and the importance of preparing for the hereafter. The Surah motivates Muslims to focus on good deeds and sincere worship of Allah (SWT) in preparation for their inevitable return to Him.

Until, when death comes to one of them (those who join partners with Allah), he says: “My Lord! Send me back, (Quran 23:99)
“So that I may do good in that which I have left behind!” No! It is but a word that he speaks, and behind them is Barzakh (a barrier) until the Day when they will be resurrected. (Quran 23:100)
Then, when the Trumpet is blown, there will be no kinship among them that Day, nor will they ask of one another. (Quran 23:101)
“Were not My Verses (this Quran) recited to you, and then you used to deny them?” (Quran 23:105)
Verily! There was a party of My slaves, who used to say: “Our Lord! We believe, so forgive us, and have mercy on us, for You are the Best of all who show mercy!” (Quran 23:109)
And whoever invokes (or worships), besides Allah, any other ilah (god), of whom he has no proof, then his reckoning is only with his Lord. Surely! Al-Kafirun (the disbelievers in Allah and in the Oneness of Allah, polytheists, pagans, idolaters, etc.) will not be successful. (Quran 23:117)
And say (O Muhammad SAW): “My Lord! Forgive and have mercy, for You are the Best of those who show mercy!” (Quran 23:118)
Unearthing Gems of Wisdom: Lessons from Surah Al-Mu’minun
Surah Al-Mu’minun offers a treasure trove of wisdom for Muslims seeking to deepen their faith and live a meaningful life:

• Cultivating a Virtuous Character: By emulating the characteristics outlined in the opening verses (1-11), Muslims can strive to embody the qualities of true believers. This translates into a life of piety, righteousness, and good character, becoming a beacon of light within their communities.
• Strengthening the Foundations of Faith: Understanding and reflecting upon the struggles and triumphs of the prophets mentioned in the Surah serves to bolster faith. Seeing how Allah (SWT) supported and rewarded unwavering belief inspires Muslims to remain steadfast in their own convictions, even in the face of adversity.
• Preparing for the Inevitable: The Day of Judgement serves as a powerful motivator to live a purposeful life. By focusing on good deeds and worshipping Allah (SWT) sincerely, Muslims can prepare for their inevitable return to Him.

References from the Holy Quran:

• Verses 1-11 establish the characteristics of the believers, emphasizing their humility in prayer (23:2), avoidance of idle talk (23:3), fulfillment of financial obligations (23:4), adherence to moral purity (23:5-7), and trustworthiness (23:8-9).
• Verses 23-36 detail the story of Prophet Noah (AS) ( عليه السلام) and the flood, highlighting his unwavering faith and Allah’s (SWT) protection (23:23-28).
• Verses 37-47 narrate the story of Prophet Hud (AS) ( عليه السلام) and his struggle against a disbelieving community (23:37-41). Prophet Hud (AS) ( عليه السلام) preached monotheism to the people of ‘Ad, a powerful and prosperous civilization. However, they rejected his message and mocked him. Despite the opposition, Hud (AS) ( عليه السلام) remained steadfast in his faith, warning them of Allah’s (SWT) punishment if they did not repent. Ultimately, a devastating sandstorm engulfed the people of ‘Ad, serving as a stark reminder of the consequences of disobeying Allah (SWT).
• Verses 48-98 recount the epic tale of Prophet Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام) (23:48-98): This passage details the extraordinary life of Prophet Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام), chosen by Allah (SWT) to liberate the Israelites from the tyranny of Pharaoh. The Surah recounts his miraculous birth and upbringing within Pharaoh’s palace (23:48), his encounter with the burning bush and divine revelation on Mount Sinai (23:49-51), and his appointment alongside his brother Aaron (AS) ( عليه السلام) to confront Pharaoh (23:52-53).

Facing Pharaoh and the Ten Plagues:
The Surah vividly portrays the confrontation between Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام) and Pharaoh (23:54-56). Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام) presented Pharaoh with clear signs of Allah’s (SWT) power, but Pharaoh remained arrogant and refused to release the Israelites.
The Parting of the Red Sea and Pharaoh’s Demise:
Despite the plagues, Pharaoh’s heart remained hardened. The Israelites, under the guidance of Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام), miraculously escaped across the parted Red Sea. However, Pharaoh and his army pursued them, determined to reclaim their lost slaves. The waters then crashed back together, engulfing Pharaoh and his forces. This event marked a pivotal moment in the history of salvation and serves as a testament to Allah’s (SWT) power over the oppressors.
Conclusion
Surah Al-Mu’minun concludes by emphasizing the importance of remembering the stories of the prophets and learning from their experiences (23:99-100). The Surah serves as a beacon of hope and inspiration for Muslims, reminding them that Allah (SWT) rewards those who remain steadfast in their faith and overcome adversity.
This extended version provides a more comprehensive overview of the stories of Prophets Hud (AS) ( عليه السلام) and Moses (AS) ( عليه السلام), enriching the understanding of Surah Al-Mu’munun’s message.

Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.

Gross. Hilton is a terrible parent and treats women terribly. His idea of parenting is to make his ex wife do all the hard work and he just appears to force them to perform like trained monkeys as he shoves a camera in their face. He has never cooked them a meal, washed their clothes or anything. Laura also exploits her children for online views and profits which is so so unethical and it will only be a matter of time before the law catches up with this child exploitation. Laura has showed Alfie riding a scooter at full speed down a ROAD (with cars - not in a playground or bike park) with no helmet multiple times . They both think touching a bat with their kids is funny.
Hilton thinks the vaccination caused his sons autism -which is unfounded on any medical peer reviewed science and more likely related to his advanced sperm age when Alfie was conceived. What part of co-parenting is Hilton going to talk about- the part where he reminisces how much better it was when he was spying on Laura by electronically tagging her vehicle and monitoring it online for months after their break up.
Maybe in their podcast Hilton can talk about how he used his online platform to slander his ex wife, destroy her brand, paint himself as the never ending victim with lies (I built that house poor me! and I gave up my successful career to support my wife- lies, I was only depressed in my last relationship because it was Laura's fault, or I wasn't masculine because it was Laura's fault) , talk about his porn addiction and how he never wants to leave the house or even go into a restaurant or ever take his kids to a playground or a park just wander around in a lost and dazed stupor trying to find an ice cream shop that isn't closed. Maybe Hilton can talk about how he goes AGAINST the mother of his children's wishes constantly by feeding Alfie food that he's either allergic to or causes reactions or exacerbates his autism and then when she brings it up he just laughs in her face and changes the subject to name drop about some celebrity that he knows -- something far more important in his mind...
Maybe he can talk about their kids are going to be subjected to endless bullying at school when they're older because of the content they choose to put up - including personal and private health issues about their kids and even when their daughter has a poo accident and all of his hatred and bullying content towards gay and lesbians, trangender folk, women, fat people, old people, women, etc.....
Maybe Hilton can talk about what he's modelling to his children about healthy relationships, treating women with respect and honesty and morals.
Ah maybe not.

If Jace condones or plans B&C, it would be very bad, worse than when Dt killed his wife - second only to Rhaenys' casual Terrorism
DARK AND EDGY DOESN'T EQUAL MORE INTERESTING.

• A character being evil doesn't mean better written or more interesting. In most cases, just making a character evil is a surefire way to ruin the character.
• Yes, Jace beat his bro once, so did his elder bro - about 40 times. That means tomorrow, if he kills or doesn't bat an eye at the murder of children (for revenge) and nothing else, we should have seen it coming.
• Remember in GoT, Jon, Robb, and Sansa, even Tyrion and Arya, who go ultra-dark, are basically in the same situation Jace is in right now, and they never had any ill will toward Tommen and Myrcella. Most of them even think fondly of them (but for Tyrion that one time).

This is Jace we're talking about, the same guy who was spooked by Daemon and Ceraxes threatening some KG. Two days later, he's with Mysaria plotting the greatest scheme in CK AGOT history. Jace's dynamic with Daemon was one of the more interesting parts of his character in season, and they should lean way more into it to make him and Dragonstone more interesting. Here's how it should be done:
TURMOIL ON DRAGONSTONE, TEAM BLACK INNER CONFLICT
Reddit recently introduced a theory that season two will split up the black into two camps. The radicals [Daemon, Jace, Baela, and Mysaria] and the Conservatives [Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, and Corlys]. I love this idea, as internal conflict, when done right, is better than external. But the team doesn't make sense.
Radicals should be Mysaria, Daemon, Rhaenyra (Them going rogue was meant to be the point of the final scene of S1). Conservatives are Rhaenys, Corlys, and the Kids.
Firstly, kids who aren't Joffrey or Ramsey should have a predisposition for Honorable warfare. As proven earlier with the KG loyalty, this scene is where Jace leans. Also, Baela was raised by Rhaenys and should logically lean to her side.
Daemon and Rhaenyra already murdered a man in cold blood, almost jokingly. They should be the ones cool with child murder, not the kids. If you want to make Jace and Baela interesting, here are some ideas for you:
P.S: Rhaenyra shouldn't be cool with B&C, but she shouldn't be completely shut off to Daemon and Mysaria. Rhaenyra is Dragonstone, Rhaenyra is the realm. The point of two opposing Camps should be to pull Rhaenyra in both directions and give her hard choices.
Now concerning Jace and Baela:
a)Jace (The angel on the queen's shoulder):
It would make sense that, similar to Davos, Jace (alongside Rhaenys) should be a voice of reason for Stannis, I mean Rhaenyra, counteracting DT and Mysaria.
Also, similar to Davos, Jace's conflict should be to convince himself first, then others, that his monarch is just, despite the f-uped things they do, while also being antagonistic to the devils whispering at court (Mysaria and Melisandre).
Davos convinces Sala (Legendary Sailor), the King's Men (Different gods), and the Manderlers (honorable knights) to back Stannis. Jace convinces Corlys (Legendary Sailor), the Northmen (Different gods), and the Manderlers and Knights of the Vale (honorable knights) to back Nyra.
b) Baela (Torn Between two Parents):
Baela has two parents, Daemon and Rhaenys, who happen to be leaders of both factions on Dragonstone. Baela for now leans heavily towards Rhaenys, but she has just been reunited with daddy. Couple that with Luke's murder, the internal conflict the B&C should cause, and the fact that they are at war, and her morality is being slowly chipped away in time for Rooks Rest. After that, she can go either way - Ruthless radicalism to revenge Grandma and protect Lil' Bros and Lil' Sis, or dial it back to honor Grandma.
If she swings towards Ruthlessness, that is good conflict between her and Jace instead of "I'm mad you cheated on me even though we haven't seen each other in 8 years" (Also parallel to Jon being shocked by Val's ruthlessness when it concerned Shireen and Freefolk rights).
BONUS: THEORY OR RATHER PITCH ON JACE'S FUTURE
Jace should die at Tumbleton, not the Gullet. The only effect Jace's death has in the book is it gets Rhaenyra out of the hospital bed. Plus, that death is super anti-climatic, second only to Daeron's. Now imagine this:

• Jace is betrayed by his dragonseeds at Tumbleton, and Cregan is also present at Tumbleton and escapes.
• So we have Jace dying because a frankly stupid decision of his (sharing nukes), in the presence of his bro, and he would be avenged by his two Bros (Addam and Cregan).
• Maybe Cregan flees to the God's Eyes. Maybe Jace refuses Baela from coming with him, and he would have won if Baela was by his side. Also, Daeron will be present, and Daeron is Jace's rival (Maybe he almost beats Daeron, and that is when Hugh betrays him).

You can see a death at Tumbleton is far more satisfying for Jace than shot by an arrow when he flew "too low".
Potential Ramifications of Jace's Death:

• Aegon attacks Dragonstone now that Jace isn't coming back.
• Rhaenyra needs vengeance, and Addam and Nettles are scapegoats instead of "I hate bastard and your smashing my Uncle". Also, Mysaria, the Daemon on her shoulder, has free reign now that both Angels, Rhaenys and Jace, are dead.

This would probably not happen, but it was good to get my ideas out there.

48M married to 48F for 22 years with a 9 yo daughter with severe ADHD and anxiety. 9 yo sleeps in our bed with my wife and I sleep in another room. They go to bed around 8:30 at night; wife gets up at 4:30 for alone time. I work 55-60 hours a week as an owner of a company and travel for work 1-2 times a month; she works full time but typically 7-3 every day. We have a number of relationship issues, resentment, and unhappiness, not to mention a dead bedroom, but I have no idea how to solve any of this when there is no time for us to even communicate without our daughter being around. She (daughter) wants to be around mom constantly and other than school and other activities is incredibly demanding of my wife. We have very few couples friends (my wife is not very social and I’m very unattractive), our families have health issues so can’t provide any childcare, and we have trouble even finding babysitters. We are both in poor health from not being able to exercise. We have not been able to spend more than 24 hours away from our child in over 4 years. I don’t know how we can even find the time to talk about our issues and communicate. Every time I bring anything up my daughter acts up and all of the attention in the household is diverted to her. We’re in the middle of a 10 day vacation in a hotel room and I feel incredibly lonely, depressed, and hopeless. Tl;dr: relationship problems that there isn’t even the ability to talk about.

My wife 43F I 45M have been married 23 years and have 4 kid together(all older now). She is a teacher at a tough school and has teacher friends she hangs out with after work on Fridays from 4pm until past midnight even 1am. She hangs out with them this year now 3-4x a week after school. They are mix of singles and married M and F friends. I am always invited to come hang out and her friends know me. I came out one night and had fun.
The next Friday I was planning to go again to hang out with my wife, and she said not this week, that right was a red flag for me right there. She said she wanted alone time w her friends, ok no problem.
Well fast forward to this last night, it was getting late, past midnight, and i was checking in life 360(like find my phone app) to see where my wife was at to see if she was coming home. It was 1:30am and noticed it looked like she was in the parking lot. I was worried she was too drunk to get home and gave her a call.
We have a Tesla and she accidentally answered and i could hear her talking to someone. It was a guy, I could faintly hear what they were talking about. Then I could hear a voice I recognized, a guy S and was one of his friends. I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. Things i could hear were … “this something you want..” “you can’t compare me with your husband “ i could hear her say “he is great but..” I heard about 8 minutes worth of chatter and going back and forth.
I Immediately ran out the door and started driving in her direction 20 minutes out. I could hear kissing , and moaning and kissing. I was like oh hell no! Then I went off mute and I said you know i can hear you! You answered the phone! She was like “you don’t know what heard” .. “we aren’t doing anything” something like that. I was like, is that F Sean? She said she is coming home let’s talk about this at home. Ok I hung up and went home.
She took an hour to get home, even dropped off S, smh. Got home and I got the “what do you think you hear?” I told her everything. She said she was drunk and didn’t really know what she was doing. It didn’t mean anything, she loves our life, loves me, wants to be with me. That they only kissed and didn’t have sex. That she never has cheated in me before. She said what do you want to do? How do we move forward? I was basically assured it wouldn’t happen again and we kissed and made up as i tried to be calm about it. We even had quick sex(I didn’t want her throwing up on me). After we were done she passed out and slept like a baby.
Well I did not sleep a wink and it’s 6am here , my heart rate has been pumping as i go through the events of tonight. I have looking online on how move forward and if I can forgive and trust her again? I plan to have a calm conversation with her later today. I will also need to see a shrink to talk to someone, because my son just got in a car accident, my dad getting Alzheimer’s and we are moving my parents out of our childhood home. Lots going on. She didn’t have sex w that person, he is gross by the way. She did admit to kissing him. I initially chalked it up as she got drunk and didn’t know what she was doing. But my mind has been spinning.
Is there hope? I still love her. I want to make this work. We have a family. Will I be able to sleep? Will I be able to trust her?

Was watching guapo today and he was talking bout how yall made plans to go out and eat, then shit happened but he said he hit u up and u didn't respond, don't be an L mans and catchup with him while ur still in LA, he one of the OG's bro don't forget about him

This might read more like a relationship advice post, so forgive me if this isn't the appropriate avenue, but I really need insight from people who have experienced this type of grief. This is a little long, so please bear with me.
10 months ago my wife and I (early 30s) lost our baby boy at 21 weeks due to TFMR. He was very much wanted and very much loved. It's been hard on both of us, but obviously my wife has been having a harder time. I've since returned to hobbies and friendships, but she has taken the route of isolation. Now, it feels like just about everyone we know is announcing pregnancies. Of course I'm reminded of what we should have and it makes me sad, but I'm also happy for those people and want to share in their joy. My wife, however, wants nothing to do with any of them. That's totally valid and she can do what she wants, but it does make sad that it feels like she's shut out most people in her life right now.
Just under two months ago, I told her that I was planning on attending my friends' baby shower. I've known these friends for almost 20 years, but she doesn't like them, and I try not to bring them up to her. I didn't expect her to be thrilled about me going, and I would certainly never expect her to go with me, but her reaction was far more explosive than I anticipated. She essentially forbade me from going as it would be too triggering for her and I was expected to know as much. The fact that I even brought it up told her I didn't care about her feelings and that I was putting my friends over her. If I decided to attend, she "would have to seriously think about our marriage". We had a huge fight but ultimately came to a compromise that I could take them to dinner in lieu of attending the shower. It was my understanding that the shower was the main sticking point and that anything after that was fine.
Just a couple days later, we found out we were pregnant again. Unfortunately, that joy was shortlived as we found out the pregnancy was ectopic after only two weeks. Thankfully we caught it early, and my wife's health is okay. The emotional pain isn't as severe as when we lost our son last year, but loss is loss, and the pain is still fresh. The baby shower came and went, and I wasn't in the mood to set up the dinner the time, so it never happened.
Fast forward another several several weeks and my friends have their baby. I inform my wife of the birth since I don't want her to get blindsided about it from somewhere else. She was upset I even told her, so I ask how to better navigate the situation to which she responds that I'm doing my best but she just wants them out of her life, by them "either moving away or dying." We fight again and it's apparently a problem that I got so hung up on her wording.
Almost two weeks later, I tell her I'm planning on visiting them. Again, I didn't expect her to be thrilled, but I thought we agreed everything sans baby shower was fine, and we even visited her sister's newborn shortly after our first loss, so I thought it would be more or less "okay". But her reaction was even more explosive than last time. My ears were ringing from the volume of her voice. More accusations of not giving a shit about her, putting everyone else above her, etc. Apparently during our last argument she said she'd need time after their birth, which is probably true but I'm sure I lost that detail among the heightened emotions. Once again she says she'd seriously rethink our marriage if I'm willing to ignore her feelings and visit them anyway. She says I can't see them until she's felt like she's processed the news of their birth. Not only that, I'm being told I'm not to acknowledge their existence or even text/talk on the phone with them if she's around. Since she's home all the time outside of work, my interactions with them are essentially to be limited to business hours. I ask how long this is supposed to last and she thinks it's unreasonable to ask for a timeframe on her healing, but maybe after we get back from a trip in two months at the earliest (which coincides with the anniversary of losing our son). She feels like she's being generous by even giving me an estimate.
She says she shouldn't be asked to sacrifice the progress she's made, but I feel like I'm the one being asked to make a sacrifice. I recognize that these things are triggering for her but I don't feel like it's my responsibility to help her avoid feeling this way by me not engaging in these big life moments. I've suggested that she get back into therapy but she says she's working through it on her own just fine and it's insulting to suggest that therapy is required to navigate her feelings. I've also suggested we get back into couples counseling but since she doesn't even want to acknowledge these friends and this situation, she says talking about it will only delay her healing.
I feel so lost. And like I'm in a box, with the walls slowly moving inward, crushing me. My friends are important to me and I want to celebrate these big moments in their lives, but I think I will lose my wife if I do so. She says there are other ways to celebrate them without being there in person, and if people who don't live close to each other can still celebrate and maintain friendships, I can too. Except these friends only live 20 minutes away. She says she'd never ask me to cut them out of my life but it feels like the goalposts keep moving closer and closer in that direction. How can I be sure that she won't change her mind about this in two months? Another close friend that I've known for even longer will be going through IVF in August and I'm terrified of how my relationship with them will be impacted if it's successful (at least she likes this friend).
I don't know what to do. We've both gone through something awful, but I'll never know the feeling of losing a child that I was carrying in my body. I know she's grieving (as I am still too), and I'm trying to be empathetic to that grief, but I think too much is being asked of me and I'm becoming resentful. She doesn't care if what she's asking is logical or not, she's my wife and she says I should put her first. I should just do it because she's asking. I want to reiterate that I think it's totally valid to have these feelings and I'm not trying to diminish them or try to get her to not feel them, but these feelings are now affecting me and my friendships. I also realize I'm presenting my biased view of events, but I'll try to answer questions if there are any.
Has anyone been through a similar loss and have any insight to give here? Am I not giving her enough grace during this time of pain?