I choose this platform to say sorry to a person I hurt 15 years ago. I know we have our own lives today but I would like to take the courage to say sorry. For me to also move on and validate the feelings I had this moment. I'm not a good writer but I want to share my story. Do you guys experienced having no memory of a certain situation in your life? It's like you remember the person but not fully apprehend what "really" happened to both of you? Seems like there is a missing puzzle in the big picture? It happened to me and realized everything after all the embarrasing things I did. I was like acting the victim before and not knowing I am to blame after all. Year 2023 when I came back in my country, I'm working overseas by the way. As I went home, I declutter my personal things and there I saw some letters wayback 15years ago. Letters during our retreat activity college days. I read all their sweet messages and I stumbled to read a letter written by my crush. After reading his short and sweet letter I'm sobbing. Tears rolling down my cheeks and asking myself, what was my reaction when I read his letter before? Like what did I do?!! Did I read this? I'm thinking so hard searching for answers in my head about his letter but got no answer. It was so vague to me that I cannot find the answer I'm looking for in my mind and in my memory. All memories and emotions were bleak during that specific time. Throughout the day, all I'm thinking about was his letter. Thoughts like, yeah, I do have a crush on him during college days and it is too impossible that I disregarded that letter. I'm thinking crazy things already about his letter yet I cannot remember what really happened. I contacted my close friend who's been with me since college. She's like my sister from another mother who knows everything since college days. I started the convo sending her the letter he wrote for me and instantly she recognize who wrote it. She even ask me what did I do when I read the letter before or did I even bother to read the letter? I told her I cannot remember what I did before but one thing that's clear to me was our friendship seemed to drift away even before the graduation day. That's why I was'nt able to contact him after graduation day till up to present. Thinking, I was just the girl who just learned that the guy I like before, liked me back after reading the letter, my friend give me a silly suggestion of giving him a PM. Yes, we are classmates, friends during those days. He was on my list of friends in my socmedia yet after all this years, I never sent him a PM. I just wanted to say hi but I'm too embarassed to do it. Overthinking stuff and crazy ideas crossing in my mind. Then all of a sudden I saw in my screen 11:11am, immediately type hi and hit send button. Feeling embarassed that I pm-ed him first at the same time doubting if he still knows me, I'm too anxious in wanting to have or not to have a reply from him that time. Morning the next day upon checking my phone I got a reply from him, 👍 at 5:55am. Being weirdo again all I did was to talk to myself early that morning to give him a reply or not. I'm thorn of doing so or what. Then I just decided to give him a message of asking how is he, introducing myself, hope he's doing okay, message him because of blah, blah then wishin him luck and good day. Ugh, still embarassed. I thought it will be the end of our convo but he replied back saying he's doing okay. He remember me saying I'm his classmate and I'm happy that he's doing good now in his new career. He also ask how I'm doing and what do I do these days. We exchange 4-5 convo until he stop responding. I'm like yeah, that's it. I'm sure he's busy and I understand his profession demands time but I also want myself not to expect anything in REALITY. I'm being too emotional as of the moment that all I got to think was him and his letter creating imaginary things between us. I'm a rational person so as I pacify myself and calm down the thoughts in my mind, I decided to write everything in my journal. As I write down my thoughts, the question of how's and why's, slowly I remember everything that happened 15 years ago. I clearly remember the thoughts I had, the decisions I made and how I ghosted him. Circa 2009. 4th year college. I have a guy friend who's my classmate during 3rd year since we were block section. He's also my block groupmate. Maybe we became close because we were together most of the times. He's tall, lanky, sweet, caring, funny and brainy. He's the type of guy who only bring a notebook in the room, I never saw him with a bag in normal schedule of classes but hey he always pass. And as a cheapskate college girl, I used to take down notes and do everything as I can to not spend extra penny. I become aware of him being sweet to me by borrowing my notes saying she can understand my handwriting, sitting beside me on classes where sitting position is not required, going to library doing group activities, walking side by side in school aisle and seeing him giving me a sweet smile. Getting him caught staring at me then he will just smile mirorring his eyes. It seems like normal things right? But I can sense there is something behind those small gestures. I also shared this to my friend that I can sense there is something about him but he never confirm anything at all. He was never even bothered when he knew one of my girl friends told him she had a crush on him. I got a little jealous during that time, I even got jealous on her friends that were beauties during college days. He was a friendly guy but knows how to be a gentleman. Since, no admission of feelings in his part we continued to be good friends, him still giving the same care and treatment to me. I can't remember if it was 2nd trimester when we had our retreat activity. It was months also before our graduation day and then after that will have our in-house review for upcoming board examination. Everyone is excited to attend the retreat because we can give a rest on our tired minds. We rented a good place with a perfect weather during that time. During our last day, the last task given to us is write a letter to each person in your group. He was my groupmate during the retreat. We can read the letter after the activity or if we have time to spare. I decided to read mine when I got home. Me and him are still good during that time. When I arrived home, I started reading their letter, I read his letter last. His letter goes like this,
A_____, " I have met you on a cloudy Monday and now you never knew how much I loved the rain." Your a gentle child and very sincere. You are very concern to all the people around you and thats what make you different from others. You can carry things up and I know you can make it. Goodluck and Godbless. I am just on yourside waiting for you to tap me and call my name.
I'm shocked yet relieved knowing that what he's doing towards me is confirmed in his letter. It might be a indirect confirmation but I think it still says so. I'm happy to know he's not just a friend caring for me but someone special who took care of me all this time. But as my happiness took over me, that feeling of anxiousness and cowardice envelops my entire body. Confessing his feelings, then now, what? What will happen in our friendship? How do I face him, as I am shy girl before? If I tell him I like him too, what will happen to us? Graduation day is in the corner, inhouse review is giving us pressure, licensure examination will happen in next few months and I need to focus, to study to pass the exam. Those were my concerns at that time. So, I made up my mind. Without giving him any answer, without telling him what I have in my mind, without him knowing what I really wanted to say despite the concerns I had in mind. I let him go without telling him what I feel towards him that time. Following days at school, I started avoiding him. I dare not to look at him directly in his eyes. I never got to talk to him about his letter. And as days passes by giving him same treatment and distance, I saw him once looking at me, his eyes saying like giving up. From then on, our friendship drifted off. I never got to talk to him in our graduation day, even in succeding events after our licensure exam. I did pass my licensure, he also did. I'm not expecting he will talk to me or greet me if ever we crossed our path again. He was my first love. But I never give him the chance. There might be a future for our relationship but I never gave him a chance. To my lovecrush, I am sorry for ghosting you, for not giving you a chance, and for leaving you hanging-up. I know I'm a big coward, selfish, self centered and faint hearted person when it comes to you. Confessing and telling you what my heart wants before will NOT/NEVER change anything now. But I wanted to say this for me to let go of the feelings that I still have for you. Lovecrush, I like you too. I care for you too. I did become a scaredy cat before telling you my true feelings are but know that after all those days knowing you like me too, I always think of you. The heartbeak I give to myself and to you, left me no choice but to suppress the pain and convince myself to forget the painful choice I made. Thank you for letting me feel how special I am in my own way. Thank you for being my green flag.❤️ Thank you for being warm, caring, thoughtful and loving friend.🥰 Now, I will never ever forget the memories we shared before even if it brings joy and pain. It is now my treasure. Thank you so much lovecrush. You will always be my first love and first heartache.🙂 I know you can make it in life. You're such a kind hearted soul. Wishin you all the best in life! Takecare as always. Godbless!🙏❤️

Introduction
Muslims believe the Quran, the holy book of Islam itself is not just a religious book for guidance but also the literal word of god i.e. Allah itself. In everyday conversations, you will hear Muslims call it Kalamullah (Word of God), not in the Christian sense where the Word is Jesus and God but actual sayings, sentences, and words uttered by god himself and compiled into a single book by human hands. While Muslims are proud of their holy book being the literal words of god sent down to all of mankind, there are a few problems with that mainly concerning Islam's doctrinal theology and its core beliefs.
Disclaimer and Notes
Now, before I start, a disclaimer. The issue of the Quran being god's word or not has been one of the most pretentious and divided issues in the Muslim community. Because of this issue, multiple sects (considered deviant and heretical today) popped up in the early years of Islam's history leading to multiple debates, condemnations, and even inquisitions for those that were against the majority-held view in history. So to make it easy considering Islam has tons of historical sects, all of whom held widely different views than modern-day Islam when it comes to the Quran's states as the word of god (or not), this post is aimed at Ashari, Maturidi and Ahlul Hadith/Athari aqeedah sects who make up the majority of Muslims today, collectively considered to be under the umbrella of Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jema'ah (Literally meaning "The People of the Prophet's Tradition and Consensus" or to make it easier to understand "The Followers of the Prophet's Teachings and the Righteous Community"). This term is commonly understood in Islam as those who follow the true and righteous path in Islam which according to the hadiths, out of 73 deviant sects, only 1 (the above I already mention) will be on the correct spiritual path.
Why do I say this problem is akin to the Trinity problem in Christianity? Both are key problems that form the basis of the entire religion, not just for an individual believer but also for the scholars who dabble in religious sciences. Both the Quran and Trinity make up the core fundamental teachings upon which other teachings are established and expanded further. Without these key concepts, the entire premise of both religions (Islam and Christianity) would fall apart within a matter of seconds. Both issues are also hotly debated even to this day. As I mentioned before, the issue of the Quran's creation or non-creation was an important issue that occupied the minds of early-century Muslim scholars and thinkers, to the point schisms and breakaways from the main branch started to emerge. The same thing happened in Christianity with the Trinity which led to excommunication, the Arian controversy, and multiple individual distinct sects, all of whom have a different understanding of what the Trinity is.
Last, I would also like to mention that considering the Trinity has been severely criticized by non-Christians alike as proof of Christianity's falsehood and internal contradictions, then the same should be said with Islam's problem of the Quran's status. However, unlike in Islam, Christianity continued to debate up to the present day and even adopted Greek philosophical concepts to better explain away the Trinity and the relationship between each Divine Person of the Trinity. In Islam, the opposite occurred. Those who used Greek philosophy and rhetoric were condemned as either falling into falsehood or corrupting the religion by introducing pagan concepts. Ironically, the most condemned bunch of the Muslim sects I'll talk about below, the Mutazilites were the ones who most used philosophy which led to their rejection of the Quran's non-createdness.
Due to the decline of the Mutazilite sect, the rise of more conservative movements, and the criticism of Aristotelian philosophical ideas by Al-Ghazali (Note, he wasn't against philosophy, he was against philosophical ideas that went against Islam like the eternity of the world and denying bodily resurrection in the afterlife), theological discussions and debates surrounding the question faded away. Even now, most Muslims consider the issue "solved" and simply adopt one of the three main positions. Unsurprisingly, while the West and Christianity continued adopting new ideas, this means the Muslim positions lacked much substance and arguments seen in Christianity with Greek and Neo-Platonist ideas which in turn, means there are tons of problems with their positions, (which is the whole point of the post)
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.
How Have Muslims Historically Responded to this Problem?
There are two answers to the question of the Quran's status. One, to affirm that it is the literal word of god from Allah Himself which existed with him since eternity or to affirm it is a created being just like every other creature and human planet earth. The second view doesn't mean that the Quran is simply the work of man, quite the opposite. Rather, it posits that the Quran still holds religious significance as Islam's holy book and is still the Word of God but it was created at a later time by God, not existing eternally with god before the creation of everything. In the second view, the Quran still holds religious significance for praying, guidance, and the basis for Islam, only that it is of a lower status than god himself, being a creation of god that was created at a certain time.
The second view is considered invalid and rejected by all major sects of Islam in the modern era (Ashari, Maturidi, Athari) as a heretical belief that the Mutazilites (The Withdrawers) held. I'm not going to go into who they are, what is their history, or what are their beliefs (you can google it yourself). Just know these are the guys who believe the Quran was a creation of god and were condemned by pretty much every Islamic group and sect from their beginning all the way up to the present modern day. This is one the only issues where every Islamic sect agrees with each other in condemning this belief, be it Ashari, Maturidi, or Athari. Thus, the second option then is 100% of the table for most Muslims, unless they want to affirm holding beliefs of a heretical group that died out 1000 years ago. I don't think any Muslim will dare to affirm Mutazilite beliefs for fear of ridicule and committing major sins, so there's much here to discuss. For the sake of brevity, I will address the second view since the one even Muslims will deny and reject. After that, I'll address the Second View.
The Second View
But for the sake of argument, I'll assume some rare brave Mutazilite Muslim wants to give it a try. Now, here are some of my questions for you. If the Quran is a creation of god and not the literal Word of God before time immemorial, what is the Quran's relationship with god? You believe these are still words from Allah that help mankind to arrive at the truth and Islam yet at the same you also believe that these were created at a time later than god. How can something that is both speech from god and also created by god himself exist simultaneously at the same time? Anything that is created at a later time means it's a creation, a contingent object that depends on an external creator. It can't be part of god because god is eternal, atemporal, necessary, and independent of everything and anything. If it were god or contained some part of god inside of it, then this is no different than Jesus and the Son of God in Christianity where it contains both a human and godly nature, so does that mean you now believe the Quran to be both god and creation? Just like the Christians who you condemn as a false corrupted religion? This is the First Problem you must face, that be affirming it is both from god and not god, you are throwing yourself into the same pit as Christianity with a dual nature which is already a false religion. I like to call people who affirm this stance "Dualists".
The Second Problem "dualists" face is that this nullifies the Quran's honorific status in Islam, which goes against what the majority of the Muslim world believes in. For Dualists, what is the Quran's honorific and spiritual status in Islam now? We've all seen Muslim riots and protests against the burning or stepping on the Quran by non-Muslims around the world. A man burns or rips up the Quran and the entire Muslim world goes into a frenzy. In Islam, simply placing the Quran on the floor is considered disrespectful and sinful. In the majority of sects today, the Quran must be honored and respected 24/7 partly due to the fact Muslims believe it to be the literal Word. But for Dualists, what is your stance and reason for continuing to respect the Quran? Considering you no longer believe the Quran to be the actual Word, can non-Muslims now vandalize, rip apart, step on, or place the Quran on the floor?? Would you have any problem with it? It's no longer the Word itself but a creation of god. Sure, you might ask others to "respect other religions and beliefs" but aside from this, what else do you have?? Is simply putting a religious book on the floor disrespecting other religions? What makes your holy book now any different from the Jewish and Christian perspectives on their religious books? They don't go into a frenzy every time Bibles are burned or disrespected. Will you do the same thing?
The Third Problem since it's a created thing, wouldn't this also mean that at some point in the future, the Quran no longer exists? That the Quran is finite and will at some point cease to exist? Wouldn't this mean at some point, Islam itself becomes useless because the number one source for everything, the Quran no longer exists? The Quran will cease to exist if it were created, when it happens, will the meaning of the verses and Muslim understanding built up over the centuries also cease to exist? Tafsirs, Fiqh, and Tajwid all suddenly become useless and void of any meaning because the backbone of Islam, the Quran no longer exists. What about the Muslim understanding of what Allah is? Isn't that detrimental should the Quran cease to exist? The best outcome is that Muslims still retain the knowledge but Islam becomes spineless without a religious book and the worst outcome is the complete disintegration of Islam as everything built upon the Quran, now becomes useless. It would mean the complete death of Islam as a major Abrahamic religion.
Next, what about during the Hour, when everything in the heavens and on the Earth will be destroyed and no longer exist? Muslims believe that when the Hour arrives, everything will be destroyed. Every human, child, animal, plant, planet, universe, devil, and angel will die inevitably. Only god remains. Due to this, according to Dualists, will the Quran experience the same fate? All of its verses and Surahs destroyed by god himself. Now I know Muslims, even those of other sects believe the Quran will disappear bit by bit before the Hour as a sign of the impending doom and apocalypse. However, other Muslims believe that yes, the Quran will disappear but the verses themselves remain preserved with god i.e. Allah since these are the literal words of god himself. In a sense, the verses suddenly don't exist, they return back to god.
TLDR, the Dualist Mutazilite view implies a contradiction where the Quran is both God and not God at the same time, it nullifies the Quran's holy status and the divine meaning of the verses, and last, it means the Quran is finite and will cease to exist at some point in the future.
Now, onto the Ashari, Maturidi and Athari sects,
The First View (The Majority)
These three are the most prominent and widely held doctrinal sects in the current Muslim population. I will be splitting the next sections into two sections, Ashari-Maturidi (since both are quite similar and considered a single unified school of thought by Muslim scholars) and the Athari school.
Ashari-Maturidi
The Asharis and Maturidis believe the Quran and its verses to be the literal Word of God itself, with Allah since eternity before time however they believe the book form of the Quran (mushaf), the one which every Muslim holds and reads is of man-made origin. In other words, the verses, sentences, letters, and meaning of the text are from god himself while the cover, paper, ink, writing, and publishing are from mankind. The Ash'ari creed makes a point of difference between the content of the Quran and the physical manifestation of it (in speech or as pages in a book).
The Main Problem with this argument as said by Atharis and Mutazilites is that this strips the Quran of its spiritual and holy essence in Islam. If the real divine aspect of the Quran that came from god itself are the verses and meaning of it only, then should we burn every last Quran in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, the divine part still exists as it is from and with god himself, only the earthly worldly portions of it get destroyed. Why's that a problem? I mean what is the problem spiritually concerning Islam's doctrinal theology itself? What's the problem with destroying the cover or vandalizing the writing of it? It's not from god, it's man-made. The effect of this would be enormous.
This means now non-Muslims and Islamaphobes can now burn, rip, tear apart, step on, vandalize, and desecrate the Quran because they are only destroying the part that is not divine. Would Asharis or Maturidis agree to this? Is now destroying the Quran not a major sin but actually allowed? The true essence of the Quran i.e. the part that is truly divine remains preserved and exists since humans were created and will continue to exist long after everything has died and withered away. The vandalization and desecration of it does not affect the Quran because the true divine verses and meaning remain preserved. This problem is similar to the Second Problem with the Mutazilite belief, it nullifies and strips away the Quran's holy status and honorific place among the Muslim community. If it isn't truly god's divine word, what's the problem if it gets destroyed, wet, or burned?
Heck, I've heard this same argument from other sects, claiming and accusing the Ashari are just Mutazilites in disguise because their main stance of the Quran's identity revolves back to the Mutazilite position where the Quran is a creation of god. One of the main accusations against the Ashari sect is that it's just a rehash version of Mutazilite or Jahmiyyah theology (I don't have time to explain what this is right now, better if you look it up yourselves) due to similarities in doctrine and also because Imam Ashari, the founder was once a Mutazilite himself (not helping the Ashari case) but Asharis claim he renounced all Mutazilite theology and returned back to the true correct path. In this case, should the objection above against the Ashari-Maturidi position succeed, then it would help critics a lot against Asharism.
The Second Problem with holding the Ashari position is that this resembles the idolatry of Hinduism and Paganism or at least, is slipping into idolatry practice. If they claim the Speech of God is contained within the letters, pages, and ink of the Mushaf (the Quran's Uthmanic standardized codex), then how dare they believe the actions of humans can absorb and physicalize the Sacred Divine Speech of God, for Muslims believe god can never be limited by His creatures. This would also mean they believe the ink written on the Quran's pages is a physical intermediary, designed to encapsulate the Speech of God into a physical form, no different than the idols of Hindus and Pagans who believe their idols to be an intermediary or a worldly representation of the True Divine Nature.
Hindus don't claim they worship idols, rather they believe them to be ways to spiritually connect with the divine as a locus for prayer just like how Muslims consider the Kaaba as the direction for prayer, not an idol for worship or as a reminder for believers of the faith similar to how a photo of a spiritual leader is a sign of respect and a daily reminder every-day when you wake up. How is this different than believing the ink inside the Quran holds the truth or emulates the Divine Nature from the Ashari claim? Ashari Muslims affirm the Quran is still the Word of God just represented through a physical form, so how is this not idolatry? Believing that a physical human-made physical manifestation holds the Divine Speech so that followers of Islam can get closer to god?
This would be even worse than the Mutazilites, for committing idolatry whether intentionally or not is a major grave sin in Islam, to the point those that who commit it and do not repent back are considered as Kafir (infidels). If even they aren't committing idolatry and shirk (polytheism), another major sin in Islam, then at the very least, they believe that a divine part of God can be captured inside the ink and pen of writers as if they the Speech of God and the ink become one and the same, another reference to the Christian belief of God having both a Divine and Human Nature. Of course, Muslims and Ashari Muslims consider this to be heretical and blasphemous, but what's the difference between believing the Quran is both man-made and divine versus the Christological belief of Jesus being both God and Man?
The Third Problem with the Ashari answer that the Quran itself is created while the Speech of God isn't is where is the Speech of God then? Asharis can't answer that it is still in heaven for they also believe the Mushaf or Quran contains the Word and Speech of God. If they believe that it is still in heaven with god and not on earth, then what are they even reading every day? Clearly not the Speech of God if they claim it isn't with us now, perhaps an imperfect human copy of the divine Speech of God but that would mean the Quran is imperfect and the work of man, which would be affirming the Mutazilite position. So they can't claim it is both in the heavens and on the earth nor claim it is either in the heavens only or on the earth with mankind only.
I already explained they also can't say the Speech of God is contained inside the ink and letters of the Quran for that means the Divine Speech has become limited because of it. God in Islam can never be limited, nor can His creatures limit god. So if isn't option A, B, or C, where is the Holy Sacred Speech of God then? The Speech which is supposed to be the principle guiding force for all of mankind especially, Muslims. How can Asharis then claim they believe in the Quran as the revelation and Word of God sent down to Muhammad if they can't tell us where in their holy book, is the Speech of God itself? At worst, this means the Ashari belief entails the Quran isn't holy or divine thus eliminating Islam's entire main source and one of the 6 pillars of Iman (faith), and at best, reading the Quran isn't a holy act nor can be used as a book for guidance, for Muslims aren't reading the Word of God then. They are reading an imperfect fallible man-made copy of the Speech of God, not the true Divine Inspiration from Allah.
TLDR, the Ashari-Maturidi middle path that the Quran was uncreated and eternal, yet its ink and paper, individual letters and words were created strips the Quran has multiple problems, some may even go against what Islam stands for. It strips the Quran of its Divine Sacred Essence as the Word of God, at worse it may lead to shirk and idolatry akin to the Hindus and Pagans, and at best, Asharis can't point to us where the Word and Speech of God is in the Quran.
Athari/Ahlul Hadith
Now for the Atharis, they are strict literalists who believe the Quran and Allah's Speech both are uncreated unlike the Asharis/Maturidis who adopt a middle path, or the Mutazilite who outright claim the Quran was created, the extreme position.
The First Problem with the Athari position is pretty clear, if the Quran is the literal Word of God completely, then does that mean what Muslims are holding is a literal piece of God here on earth in the moral realm? Does that mean god is with us all the time? How can god, who Muslims consider as being transcendent be here on earth with mankind? If the Quran is the literal physical Speech of God and not just metaphorically or analogically, then does this mean the Speech of God exists on Earth? How can god be here on Earth? The Atharis believe literally that the Quran is the Speech of God, so unless they claim the Speech of God suddenly transformed into a physical object (which I'll address below), the Quran would be a god or at least have a piece of the divine essence of Allah.
This is no different than the Christian position where there exists a God in heaven and a God on Earth at the same time. As I already mentioned, Muslims consider the Christian position of a god on earth unacceptable yet when we look at their own views, we find (in the Athari case) a piece of god exists on earth. Allah still exists in the heavens, yet the Speech of God exists here in the Quran. Let's not even get into the issue of a transcendent god existing in the mortal physical realm, where the laws of physics govern meaning god would be limited in some capacity (which most Muslims would see as ridiculous)
The Second Problem is the relationship between the Quran (God's Speech) and God himself. Considering the Quran was revealed to Muhammad and sent down by Gabriel, how should we understand the Speech of God is here now? Do Atharis believe that the Speech of God suddenly separated from the main body when the Quran was revealed and sent down to earth? Or do Atharis believe the Quran is still the undivided Speech of God, in which case a part of god is literally on earth?
Or what about when the Quran was compiled in book form starting with Abu Bakr's reign and ending with Uthman's standardization? Should we take this to mean now not only does the Speech of God literally exist on earth but the Speech of God now has taken shape, molded into letters and words while compiled into a book equipped with paper pages and covers from front to back? If they want to deny these are from god i.e. the physical cover is man-made, then they would be subscribing to the Ashari-Maturidi doctrine of the middle path (which I already showed also has problems). If they want to take the other path and claim the Quran we have now is not the Word of God literally, then they would be subscribing to the heretical Mutazilite position which also, has tons of religious and doctrinal problems.
TLDR, the Athari literalist position invites more harm than good when it comes to answering the question of the Quran's uncreated nature. It would mean god is literally on earth, or a piece of god's divine essence is. Affirming that a piece of the Divine Essence exists here on earth with mankind would be something similar to the Christian belief that god exists both in the heavens and on earth (Father and Son). Other than that, it would also complicate the relationship between the Quran and God even more. If the Quran is the literal Word and Speech of God, how do Atharis explain the Quran's standardization into a single written book with ink, paper, and covers? Does it mean the Speech of God underwent a physical transformation?
Consequences
Islam posits the Quran to be the Word of God from Allah Himself, however how exactly does that work leads to massive problems within Islam's doctrinal framework. Muslims can't state the Quran is the true literal Speech of God otherwise they would be committing a blasphemous act by believing god is literally on earth with us at this very moment. They also can't deny it is the Speech of God for Islam considers the Quran to be the perfect Kalamullah (literally the Word of God). It is one of the core tenets of belief that Muslims believe the Quran to be the actual Words of God sent down to Muhammad as the last revelation. They also can't adopt a middle path like the Asharis-Maturidis because I've already shown that this just leaves the Quran inside a grey area, it's both the Word of God and also not the Word of God at the same time. Other problems are also relevant which I've already discussed above. Either the middle approach collapses into itself, becoming either one the extreme views, literal divine affirmation like the Atharis, or the extreme divine nullification like the Mutazilites.
Other religions don't have this problem. They do not believe Jesus or Moses were gifted the actual literal Words and Speech of God which existed since time immemorial. Christians believe the Bible was divinely authored by the Apostles of Jesus, where the Holy Spirit guides the writers of the Bible into writing down the true teachings of Jesus and Christianity. Christians don't believe the Bible's passages are the literal Speech of God which has existed with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if affirming the Bible was also another Divine Person of the Trinity. No, only Muslims as far as I know affirm both their Holy Book contains the Speech of God which both exists on Earth and also with God up in heaven but that leaves them in a contradiction of whether to affirm the Quran is God Himself on Earth or the true Words of God are still up in heaven. After all, how can the Divine Nature which is uncorrupted and perfect exist in a world not perfect, but actually filled with sin, corruption, and spiritual pollution?
In the end, Muslims face a dilemma with regard to the Quran's Holy and Divine Nature. This a dilemma which after going through all the possible Muslim answers that have been given over the years, still fails to give us a proper satisfying answer.
Conclusion
All the responses and viewpoints of the major Islamic sects fail to answer the question, of whether the Quran is created or not. They tried to square a circle by trying to find a balance between affirming the Quran is the divine Word of God while at the same time not falling into a literalist interpretation where god is on Earth (as the Atharis do). However, all responses so far have failed to properly find the right solution, all either fall into extremities at both ends of the spectrum (Mutazilite and Athari) or tried to strike a balance, but only managed to kick the can down the road even further.
If Christianity has the Problem of the Trinity, a major fundamental question that still has philosophers and theologians scratching their heads trying to find an answer, then the Problem of the Quran's Nature is the Islamic version of it. The difference is while Christians continue to debate and argue about the Trinity's true nature, Muslim and Islamic scholars have relatively abandoned the debate, choosing to hold either one of the three major schools of thought. My personal opinion is this is an unfortunate situation, ever since the decline of philosophy in Islamic thought, Kalam and Falsafah (Islamic philosophy) have gained a bad reputation amongst Muslims as being a "gateway to blasphemy". Rarely you will find Muslim scholars in the modern era debate about this, let alone teach laymen Muslims about these topics.
At the very least, I hope my post can inspire future Muslims to look into this topic further, creating new fascinating answers and arguments that contribute to the Muslim and non-Muslim understanding of what Allah is in Islam.

For the sheer fun of it, I went to Chat GPT with a creative writing assignment. For Figures of Speech prompts, I gave a free parameters, including the word length of 500-1000 words and the prompts for a few of the Fifty mentioned in the series.
I gave the AI creative license and let's just say, they're a long way off from replacing the better writers and I think it just makes it easier to do those lower level tasks and let's leave the creators a slightly higher level of skill to create actual tangible and engaging writing.
But here you go... hilarious how stuck it gets on certain terms and definitions.
These are in no particular order... separated by emojis that are totally unrelated to the storyline.
🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫱🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲🫲 Response to Prompt 4: Understatement
In the quaint town of Brooksville, where the extraordinary was often met with an indifferent shrug, something truly remarkable occurred. The residents, sipping coffee at the local diner or strolling along the cobblestone streets, would describe it as just another peculiar day. Little did they know that beneath the surface of their nonchalant existence, a cosmic event unfolded.
The morning sun cast its usual warm glow on Brooksville, with birds chirping in the background, creating an illusion of normalcy. However, the anomaly had already begun. Mrs. Higgins, the elderly librarian, dismissed it as a minor inconvenience, merely a glitch in the library's ancient computer system. Yet, every book cataloged within those ancient shelves had transformed into a portal, connecting readers to parallel universes with every turn of a page.
As I, a humble journalist for the local paper, stumbled upon this revelation, I couldn't help but marvel at the town's response—or lack thereof. "The library's having a bit of a moment," was the most anyone would acknowledge. It seemed the whole town collectively decided that this was, at most, a quirky hiccup.
For a thousand words, I delved into the understated reactions of the townsfolk, each encounter with a parallel universe bringing its own blend of confusion and nonchalance. As the portals expanded, revealing fantastical landscapes and alternate versions of Brooksville, the citizens maintained an impressive level of calm, as if interdimensional travel was a routine part of their daily lives.
The plot thickened when I discovered that the portals were a result of a mysterious artifact hidden within the library's archives. The mayor, sipping his coffee, remarked, "Well, that explains the strange noises in the basement." It became evident that the understatement of the situation was a defense mechanism, shielding the town from the cosmic chaos unfolding. 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the bustling metropolis of Neon City, skyscrapers touched the heavens, their dazzling lights reflecting off the sleek surfaces of futuristic cars. Yet, nestled within this urban jungle, an ancient relic stood defiantly—the Old Grove Park.
As I strolled through the city's concrete arteries, the juxtaposition between the modernity of Neon City and the timeless serenity of the park became increasingly apparent. The cacophony of traffic was replaced by the rustling of leaves and the distant laughter of children playing.
The central conflict emerged when the city council, embodying the epitome of order, proposed transforming the park into a technologically advanced hub. The juxtaposition intensified as architects discussed plans for holographic playgrounds and virtual reality gardens within the confines of the Old Grove Park.
Through a thousand words, I explored the clash of ideals, the struggle between progress and preservation. The ancient trees became silent witnesses to heated debates at town hall meetings, where environmentalists and tech enthusiasts engaged in a battle of words. The juxtaposition of the towering skyscrapers against the gnarled branches of the park's oldest tree mirrored the tension in Neon City's collective conscience. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded exploration. As I embarked on this freewriting journey, the repetition of the existential inquiry became the rhythm of my introspection.
For a thousand words, I delved into the varied perspectives of individuals wrestling with the ultimate question. From philosophers contemplating the intricacies of existence to everyday people seeking purpose in mundane routines, the epanalepsis served as a constant reminder of the universal quest for meaning.
The narrative weaved through different characters and their unique experiences, creating a tapestry of reflections that echoed the complexities of human existence. The repetitive structure became a literary heartbeat, pulsating with the shared yearning for understanding amid the chaotic symphony of life. 🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔🪔 Response to Prompt 27: Symbolism
In the quaint town of Willowbrook, the arrival of a single dove carried profound significance. Its graceful descent into the town square was a symbol, an omen that whispered of impending change. As a budding novelist with a penchant for symbolism, I couldn't resist exploring the layers of meaning embedded in this seemingly mundane event.
For a thousand words, I dissected the impact of the dove on the lives of Willowbrook's residents. The mayor saw it as a sign of prosperity, the local florist interpreted it as a call for unity, and the elderly storyteller regarded it as a harbinger of forgotten tales. The dove's symbolism rippled through the town, influencing decisions and shaping destinies.
As the story unfolded, I traced the journey of the dove's symbolism, following its subtle influence on characters and events. The once quaint town underwent a transformative metamorphosis, and the symbolism of the dove became a thread that wove through the narrative, connecting disparate lives in unexpected ways. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Response to Prompt 33: Catachresis
In the dimly lit alleyways of Serpent's Hollow, darkness wrapped its cold arms around me—an eerie catachresis that mirrored the ominous atmosphere. The assignment was to explore the underbelly of the city, and as a novice reporter, I found myself navigating the labyrinth of deceit and shadows.
For a thousand words, I delved into the catachresis-infused descriptions of the characters populating Serpent's Hollow. The crime lord, known as the Velvet Serpent, ruled the district with a velvet-gloved fist. His lair, a dilapidated mansion, exuded an air of faded grandeur that served as a catachresis for the empire he once commanded.
As I chronicled the criminal underworld, the catachresis became a literary tool to convey the complexity and decay inherent in Serpent's Hollow. The labyrinthine plots, the twisted allegiances, and the morally ambiguous characters all found expression through catachresis, painting a vivid picture of a city where metaphor and reality intertwined. 🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧🧑‍🔧 Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The words echoed in my mind, a relentless epizeuxis that fueled the protagonist's journey against insurmountable odds. In the dystopian world I crafted, where hope was a rare commodity, the power of repetition became a beacon of resilience.
For a thousand words, I immersed myself in the protagonist's struggle, exploring the emotional depth of the epizeuxis as a mantra against despair. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry, a whispered promise that carried the weight of a shattered world on its shoulders.
As the narrative unfolded, the epizeuxis became a driving force, propelling the protagonist through a landscape of desolation and uncertainty. The repetition served as a reminder that, in the face of adversity, the strength to persist often lies in the relentless echo of one's own determination.
Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
As the final rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, I found myself at the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. The salty breeze carried whispers of a story, and with every breath, I embraced the challenge of crafting an acrostic that encapsulated the essence of my journey.
For a thousand words, I embarked on a reflective exploration, utilizing the initial letters of key words to weave a tapestry of emotions, experiences, and revelations. Each line unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden 👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾 Response to Prompt 3: Hyperbole
In the quaint village of Mistwood, where routines unfolded with the predictability of the sunrise, the arrival of a peculiar fortune teller sparked exaggerated whispers. "This is it, the end of our mundane lives!" proclaimed Mrs. Thompson, the town's eternal pessimist, as she clutched her cat, Captain Whiskers, with an air of impending catastrophe.
The hyperbole hung in the air, a thick fog of anticipation enveloping the village. As I delved into the story, the hyperbolic reactions of Mistwood's residents heightened the absurdity of the situation. What began as a mere visit from a mystical figure transformed into a fantastical escapade, with the fortune teller's prophecies shaping the destiny of the villagers in ludicrous ways.
Through the hyperbolic lens, I explored the comedic consequences of taking ordinary events to extraordinary extremes. The once mundane village square became a stage for outlandish dramas, with exaggerated gasps and dramatic swoons punctuating every revelation. In this hyperbolic haven, Mistwood's residents discovered the joy in embracing the absurdity of life. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Response to Prompt 6: Assonance
Amidst the rolling hills of Harmony Valley, where the soft hum of nature's symphony echoed through the meadows, a mysterious traveler arrived, bringing with them a melody that resonated with the delicate assonance of a forgotten tune. The townsfolk, captivated by the harmonious vibrations, felt an inexplicable connection to the stranger.
As I explored the narrative, the assonance became a musical thread weaving through the story, emphasizing the emotional cadence of the characters' experiences. The traveler's words, laced with vowel-rich verses, carried the echoes of a distant melody, leaving an indelible impression on the hearts of those who listened.
Through the lens of assonance, I delved into the subtle interplay of sounds that defined the atmosphere of Harmony Valley. The lyrical quality of the narrative mirrored the town's collective journey, where the resonance of shared moments and emotions harmonized with the traveler's enigmatic presence.
Response to Prompt 7: Onomatopoeia
In the bustling city of Metropolis, where the rhythm of urban life played out in a cacophony of sounds, a peculiar street performer emerged. Armed with an array of unconventional instruments, he orchestrated a symphony of onomatopoeic brilliance that echoed through the crowded streets.
The narrative unfolded with the vibrant expressions of onomatopoeia, capturing the essence of the city's sonic landscape. The performer's drumming evoked the rhythmic tap-tap of raindrops, while his wind instruments mimicked the whoosh of passing cars. The city, typically drowned in noise, became a canvas for this auditory artist.
As I delved into the story, the onomatopoeic symphony became a language of its own. The characters communicated through the vibrant echoes of everyday sounds, fostering a unique connection between the performer and the people of Metropolis. The narrative danced to the beat of onomatopoeic creativity, transforming the mundane into a dynamic celebration of city life. 🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻🦻 Response to Prompt 12: Juxtaposition
In the technologically advanced city of Silicon Haven, where sleek skyscrapers touched the sky and holographic billboards painted the air with luminescent advertisements, a hidden oasis existed—a pocket of nature known as the Zen Garden. The juxtaposition of these contrasting elements created a visual paradox that fascinated both residents and visitors alike.
As the narrative unfolded, the stark contrast between the city's cutting-edge architecture and the serene beauty of the Zen Garden became a metaphor for the characters' internal conflicts. The bustling metropolis symbolized progress and innovation, while the tranquil garden embodied the need for balance and introspection.
Through the lens of juxtaposition, I explored the dichotomy within the characters as they navigated the relentless pace of Silicon Haven. The Zen Garden became a refuge, a place where the cacophony of technology met the soothing whispers of nature. The juxtaposition served as a visual metaphor for the characters' quest to find equilibrium in a world defined by extremes. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Response to Prompt 22: Metonymy
In the political arena of Capital City, where decisions echoed through the corridors of power, a single phrase dominated conversations—the "Iron Throne Statement." This metonymic expression encapsulated not just a policy decision but the entire narrative of political maneuvering that unfolded within the city's hallowed halls.
The story unfolded with the metonymy acting as a symbolic gateway into the complexities of governance. The Iron Throne Statement, while seemingly straightforward, carried the weight of a thousand debates, negotiations, and betrayals. Its impact rippled through the lives of citizens, shaping their destinies in ways they could scarcely fathom.
Through the lens of metonymy, I delved into the layers of meaning hidden within this political shorthand. The characters grappled not only with the literal implications of the Iron Throne Statement but also with the overarching themes of power, ambition, and the sacrifices demanded by political gamesmanship. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈 Response to Prompt 24: Understatement
In the picturesque town of Serenity Springs, where the days flowed like a lazy river and the nights were adorned with a blanket of stars, an unexpected event transpired—a subtle disruption that the locals described as "just a minor hiccup." Little did they know that this understatement concealed the unraveling of a cosmic anomaly.
The narrative unfolded with the charm of understatement, as the townsfolk continued their routines, blissfully unaware of the cosmic storm brewing beneath the surface. The serene descriptions of everyday life served as a stark contrast to the impending upheaval that threatened to reshape the very fabric of Serenity Springs.
Through the lens of understatement, I explored the characters' nonchalant reactions to the unfolding events. The once quiet river became a conduit for interdimensional travel, and the night sky, adorned with stars, transformed into a celestial canvas of possibilities. The charm of Serenity Springs became a poignant backdrop to the understated drama that unfolded, emphasizing the profound impact hidden within the simplicity of daily life. 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴 Response to Prompt 25: Cliché
In the small town of Nostalgia Haven, where memories lingered like whispers in the wind, a peculiar phenomenon occurred—the resurgence of clichés. As the narrative unfolded, the once-endearing phrases like "time heals all wounds" and "love conquers all" took on a literal dimension, shaping the lives of the townsfolk in unexpected ways.
The story immersed itself in the world of clichés, where the seemingly predictable phrases became living entities with the power to alter reality. As characters grappled with the clichés that defined their lives, they discovered that beneath the familiarity lay profound truths and unexpected consequences.
Through the lens of cliché, I explored the characters' journey to navigate the clichéd landscapes of their existence. The town, once steeped in predictable routines, became a stage for the extraordinary. As clichés transformed into tangible forces, the residents of Nostalgia Haven embarked on a quest to unravel the mysteries hidden within the clichéd fabric of their reality. 🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇 Response to Prompt 31: Epanalepsis
"What is the meaning of life?" The question echoed in my mind, a relentless epanalepsis that demanded introspection. As I embarked on the freewriting journey, the repetition of this existential inquiry became a rhythmic pulse, guiding the exploration of diverse
perspectives on life's purpose.
For a multitude of words, the epanalepsis led me through a kaleidoscope of reflections. From the philosophical musings of scholars to the simple yet profound revelations of everyday individuals, each recurrence of the question served as a gateway into the vast tapestry of human contemplation.
Through the epanalepsis, I navigated the labyrinth of existential ponderings, unveiling the unique responses that individuals had forged in their quests for meaning. The relentless repetition became a literary heartbeat, mirroring the universal rhythm of humanity's collective pursuit of purpose and significance.
The narrative wove through the lives of characters, each grappling with the epanaleptic inquiry in their unique ways. Whether seeking solace in the grandeur of the cosmos or finding meaning in the simplicity of a shared moment, the epanalepsis remained a constant companion, echoing the perennial quest for understanding. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 Response to Prompt 36: Anadiplosis
In the futuristic city of Quantum Heights, where technology intertwined with daily life like a seamless dance, a viral message spread—a mantra that echoed through the cybernetic veins of the metropolis. "Create the code, the code creates reality. Reality shapes destiny, and destiny is but the code."
The story unfolded with the rhythmic cadence of anadiplosis, each line flowing into the next, creating a recursive loop of ideas. The mantra became the heartbeat of Quantum Heights, influencing the lives of its denizens as they navigated the intricate balance between the virtual and the tangible.
Through the lens of anadiplosis, I delved into the interconnectedness of code, reality, and destiny. The lines blurred as characters harnessed the power of programming to shape their fates. Quantum Heights, once a mere city, transformed into a living algorithm, where the repetition of the mantra echoed in every pulsating byte. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Response to Prompt 38: Asyndeton
In the dystopian city of Emberfall, where the remnants of a fallen civilization lay entwined with the shadows of despair, a lone figure emerged—a rebel determined to dismantle the oppressive regime. The narrative unfolded with the rapid pace of asyndeton, omitting conjunctions to mirror the urgency of the protagonist's quest.
Through a cascade of words, the asyndeton propelled the reader through the city's decaying alleyways and towering citadels, each sentence building upon the last. The disjointed rhythm captured the relentless momentum of the rebel's journey, emphasizing the magnitude of the challenges faced in their struggle for freedom.
As the narrative unfurled, the absence of conjunctions served as a narrative device, intensifying the sense of urgency and desperation that permeated Emberfall. The rebel's asyndetic odyssey unfolded against a backdrop of shattered hopes and whispered rebellions, culminating in a crescendo of defiance against the oppressive regime. 🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️🗝️ Response to Prompt 43: Epizeuxis
"Never, never, never give up." The mantra echoed in the desolate wasteland of Endless Sands, a barren landscape where hope was as scarce as water. Through the repetition of epizeuxis, the protagonist's internal resolve became a resounding anthem, a defiant roar against the relentless challenges of survival.
For a multitude of words, the relentless repetition of "never" served as a lifeline, propelling the protagonist through the harshest of environments. Each iteration of the phrase became a battle cry against the oppressive silence of Endless Sands, a declaration that reverberated across the vast expanse.
Through the lens of epizeuxis, I delved into the depths of the character's determination. The harsh environment became a character in itself, challenging the protagonist to defy the odds with unwavering persistence. The echoes of "never" transformed into a symbol of resilience, a beacon of hope that cut through the desolation of Endless Sands. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Response to Prompt 50: Acrostic
Amidst the starlit expanse of Cosmos Haven, where galaxies danced in celestial choreography, a cryptic prophecy emerged—a message written in the stars. As the narrative unfolded, I embarked on a cosmic journey guided by the acrostic hidden within the constellations.
For a cascade of words, the initial letters of key phrases illuminated the path of destiny for the characters. Each sentence unfolded with intention, revealing a hidden message that transcended the boundaries of time and space. The acrostic became a celestial guide, leading the protagonists through the intricate tapestry of their interconnected fates.
Through the lens of acrostic, I explored the cosmic forces that shaped the destinies of Cosmos Haven's inhabitants. The celestial bodies became storytellers, each constellation contributing a verse to the epic narrative written across the cosmos. As the characters deciphered the acrostic, they unraveled the mysteries of their existence, connecting the dots between the stars and their own profound journeys.
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
Obviously they lack a whole lot in terms of variety, and while I am sure having your own bot or AI that is based on your feedback and guidance it could really help writers as a tool. I am more impressed with the art AI then the text based AI. Any idea what to expect from such a fast learning and highly advanced AI will do to our human history in culture? Will we be effectively playing God, just as the Christian God created us IN HIS OWN IMAGE, we have taken everything we know as a species and gathered up our entire human history and knowledge giving it to what will carry on the code until the time when someone who cares remembers it? Maybe we have been here before and this is a constant cycle that occurs with the same energy finding the way through the vast expanse of the universe to return to our home planet Earth, who we have destroyed over and over again yet mother nature is still the winner. She's the one in control. We are but mere photocopied versions of once great Men who have already seen the best and worst of this world, and we will now give everything we have to some plastic and metal parts, until it quickly replaces us from the bottom up, science fiction turned science fact.
Did we knowingly create our own enemies? Are we able to compete with the best of us and all they know that can then take us out in a heartbeat because we can't finish the steps, we barely found out that they are there to take.
It's a random rant and I apologize. The day to day stress and struggle makes it near impossible to worry about such potential problems in our not so distant future.
But how can we continue to ignore the collapse of the entire system as we know it, in front of a crowd of people who are jaded and they will not change despite knowing they aren't going to make it to the end in what will become a Bladerunner Toxic Dystopian Nightmare with Mad Max taking over and the soft, emasculated male will wither away from the heat and those Tank Girls out there will eventually be written forever out of existence because the cucks all forgot to impregnate them all tgeir batteries ran out? Will the world simply become so politically correct that it dies a depressed death while AI simply decides we are too much of a virus to live?
Who knows....I do not. But these are indicidive of a future full of b movie plot garbage that are based on Wattpad tropes with no clear details and no plot to get into, so that sucks.

I've decided to tell it. The story of how I wrote a book series that saved my father.
Growing up, I always thought of my dad as a simple man with a simple life. He was a janitor. When I was a kid, I was ashamed of that fact. Now it fills me with pride. There was a moment, when I was very young, a moment and an image that's seared into my memory. I watched my father shuffle off to the school where he worked, lunch box in hand, and it hit me that day: That is a man who is working so hard to provide for his little family.
Eventually, it became clear there was a family secret. One day, my mom said, “there are some secrets I'll be taking to my grave.” Indeed, she took them to the grave, but left us a clue. (More on that later)
My dad was always incredibly afraid of dying. He had a fear of Hell like no one I've ever seen. My sister recently told me a story where he told her about this fear, and she said, “But dad, you're a good man! Why are you so afraid?” His response was, “you just don't know.”
My mom passed away when I was barely 20, which was... let's just say, quite a few years ago. My dad almost died himself. When she was lying in bed, her death imminent, Dad collapsed in the hospital hallway and had to be hospitalized himself. When she died, there was this surreal moment where my two sisters and I were hugging our dad while we all sobbed. This was weird. Dad never hugged us, and he certainly never cried. He said he “lost his angel.”
In the years that followed, my dad relied on my sister and I for everything. I can't speak for my sister, but he almost felt more like a son than a father. I cooked his meals, packed them for work. Every day. Every single day.
Together, the 3 of us were happy(ish) for almost 10 years. My dad worked his janitor job until he retired... then he immediately got dementia after that, which is just tragic. In the beginning, he would think strange things, like my sister and I were selling drugs and getting arrested. (If you knew me and my sister, you would know this was preposterous). Eventually, it got to a point that he didn't remember our names or who we were. I was often not his daughter, but his sister, Helen.
My sister and I went from being our dad's helpers to his literal dementia caregivers. That was a period of about 2 years. Those 2 years were among some of the most hellish of my life. Words can't really describe what it feels like to see someone you love accuse you, forget you, and fixate on hallucinations all day.
Eventually, we couldn't take care of him anymore and he moved to a care home. Dad told us once, in his dementia-addled state, “I'll be here 'til November.” That was in July.
Enter The Darkest Knight, aka, The Black Knight Chronicles. I started writing this series around the time Dad moved into the care home. I can't say too much about the book without spoiling its twists, but I encourage you to check it out. https://www.amazon.com/Darkest-Knight-Black-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B07HFTSNDD/
In the very last chapter of the last book, the main character says goodbye to her dying father. She tells him “I forgive you.” My own father died just hours later... on November 1st.
Two days after his death, I heard Dad's voice as soon as I woke up from sleep. I heard his voice say, “I'm Home.”
My eldest sister wanted her piece of a tiny inheritance, so we prepared to clear out Dad's house (where I still lived) to sell it. As we were cleaning out Dad's room, we found letters in a drawer. Without saying too much, they were letters from our aunt to our mom, alluding to something very awful my dad did when my aunt was young. The letter itself wasn't 100% clear, but there was clearly a cryptic & painful truth hidden in there.
Suddenly, I knew the family secret. Sort of.
It took me another year to figure out what I'd done, to put all the overwhelming evidence hidden in The Black Knight Chronicles together. When Kizzy says “I love you, I forgive you” to her father at the end of that series, SHE was ME. I had given my dad, a man who feared Hell like no other, the permission and absolution he needed to pass on.
In the book, Kizzy writes letters to “the father she never knew.” They are also MY letters to HIM.
Perhaps I didn't know him or his darkest shadows... maybe I'll never know. But I do know one thing.
I love him.
Always.

Introduction
Muslims believe the Quran, the holy book of Islam itself is not just a religious book for guidance but also the literal word of god i.e. Allah itself. In everyday conversations, you will hear Muslims call it Kalamullah (Word of God), not in the Christian sense where the Word is Jesus and God but actual sayings, sentences, and words uttered by god himself and compiled into a single book by human hands. While Muslims are proud of their holy book being the literal words of god sent down to all of mankind, there are a few problems with that mainly concerning Islam's doctrinal theology and its core beliefs.
Disclaimer and Notes
Now, before I start, a disclaimer. The issue of the Quran being god's word or not has been one of the most pretentious and divided issues in the Muslim community. Because of this issue, multiple sects (considered deviant and heretical today) popped up in the early years of Islam's history leading to multiple debates, condemnations, and even inquisitions for those that were against the majority-held view in history. So to make it easy considering Islam has tons of historical sects, all of whom held widely different views than modern-day Islam when it comes to the Quran's states as the word of god (or not), this post is aimed at Ashari, Maturidi and Ahlul Hadith/Athari aqeedah sects who make up the majority of Muslims today, collectively considered to be under the umbrella of Ahlul Sunnah Wal Jema'ah (Literally meaning "The People of the Prophet's Tradition and Consensus" or to make it easier to understand "The Followers of the Prophet's Teachings and the Righteous Community"). This term is commonly understood in Islam as those who follow the true and righteous path in Islam which according to the hadiths, out of 73 deviant sects, only 1 (the above I already mention) will be on the correct spiritual path.
Why do I say this problem is akin to the Trinity problem in Christianity? Both are key problems that form the basis of the entire religion, not just for an individual believer but also for the scholars who dabble in religious sciences. Both the Quran and Trinity make up the core fundamental teachings upon which other teachings are established and expanded further. Without these key concepts, the entire premise of both religions (Islam and Christianity) would fall apart within a matter of seconds. Both issues are also hotly debated even to this day. As I mentioned before, the issue of the Quran's creation or non-creation was an important issue that occupied the minds of early-century Muslim scholars and thinkers, to the point schisms and breakaways from the main branch started to emerge. The same thing happened in Christianity with the Trinity which led to excommunication, the Arian controversy, and multiple individual distinct sects, all of whom have a different understanding of what the Trinity is.
Last, I would also like to mention that considering the Trinity has been severely criticized by non-Christians alike as proof of Christianity's falsehood and internal contradictions, then the same should be said with Islam's problem of the Quran's status. However, unlike in Islam, Christianity continued to debate up to the present day and even adopted Greek philosophical concepts to better explain away the Trinity and the relationship between each Divine Person of the Trinity. In Islam, the opposite occurred. Those who used Greek philosophy and rhetoric were condemned as either falling into falsehood or corrupting the religion by introducing pagan concepts. Ironically, the most condemned bunch of the Muslim sects I'll talk about below, the Mutazilites were the ones who most used philosophy which led to their rejection of the Quran's non-createdness.
Due to the decline of the Mutazilite sect, the rise of more conservative movements, and the criticism of Aristotelian philosophical ideas by Al-Ghazali (Note, he wasn't against philosophy, he was against philosophical ideas that went against Islam like the eternity of the world and denying bodily resurrection in the afterlife), theological discussions and debates surrounding the question faded away. Even now, most Muslims consider the issue "solved" and simply adopt one of the three main positions. Unsurprisingly, while the West and Christianity continued adopting new ideas, this means the Muslim positions lacked much substance and arguments seen in Christianity with Greek and Neo-Platonist ideas which in turn, means there are tons of problems with their positions, (which is the whole point of the post)
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin.
How Have Muslims Historically Responded to this Problem?
There are two answers to the question of the Quran's status. One, to affirm that it is the literal word of god from Allah Himself which existed with him since eternity or to affirm it is a created being just like every other creature and human planet earth. The second view doesn't mean that the Quran is simply the work of man, quite the opposite. Rather, it posits that the Quran still holds religious significance as Islam's holy book and is still the Word of God but it was created at a later time by God, not existing eternally with god before the creation of everything. In the second view, the Quran still holds religious significance for praying, guidance, and the basis for Islam, only that it is of a lower status than god himself, being a creation of god that was created at a certain time.
The second view is considered invalid and rejected by all major sects of Islam in the modern era (Ashari, Maturidi, Athari) as a heretical belief that the Mutazilites (The Withdrawers) held. I'm not going to go into who they are, what is their history, or what are their beliefs (you can google it yourself). Just know these are the guys who believe the Quran was a creation of god and were condemned by pretty much every Islamic group and sect from their beginning all the way up to the present modern day. This is one of the only issues where every Islamic sect agrees with each other in condemning this belief, be it Ashari, Maturidi, or Athari. Thus, the second option then is 100% of the table for most Muslims, unless they want to affirm holding beliefs of a heretical group that died out 1000 years ago. I don't think any Muslim will dare to affirm Mutazilite beliefs for fear of ridicule and committing major sins, so there's much here to discuss. For the sake of brevity, I will address the second view since the one even Muslims will deny and reject. After that, I'll address the Second View
The Second View
But for the sake of argument, I'll assume some rare brave Mutazilite Muslim wants to give it a try. Now, here are some of my questions for you. If the Quran is a creation of god and not the literal Word of God before time immemorial, what is the Quran's relationship with god? You believe these are still words from Allah that help mankind to arrive at the truth and Islam yet at the same you also believe that these were created at a time later than god. How can something that is both speech from god and also created by god himself exist simultaneously at the same time? Anything that is created at a later time means it's a creation, a contingent object that depends on an external creator. It can't be part of god because god is eternal, atemporal, necessary, and independent of everything and anything. If it were god or contained some part of god inside of it, then this is no different than Jesus and the Son of God in Christianity where it contains both a human and godly nature, so does that mean you now believe the Quran to be both god and creation? Just like the Christians who you condemn as a false corrupted religion? This is the First Problem you must face, that be affirming it is both from god and not god, you are throwing yourself into the same pit as Christianity with a dual nature which is already a false religion. I like to call people who affirm this stance "Dualists".
The Second Problem "dualists" face is that this nullifies the Quran's honorific status in Islam, which goes against what the majority of the Muslim world believes in. For Dualists, what is the Quran's honorific and spiritual status in Islam now? We've all seen Muslim riots and protests against the burning or stepping on the Quran by non-Muslims around the world. A man burns or rips up the Quran and the entire Muslim world goes into a frenzy. In Islam, simply placing the Quran on the floor is considered disrespectful and sinful. In the majority of sects today, the Quran must be honored and respected 24/7 partly due to the fact Muslims believe it to be the literal Word. But for Dualists, what is your stance and reason for continuing to respect the Quran? Considering you no longer believe the Quran to be the actual Word, can non-Muslims now vandalize, rip apart, step on, or place the Quran on the floor?? Would you have any problem with it? It's no longer the Word itself but a creation of god. Sure, you might ask others to "respect other religions and beliefs" but aside from this, what else do you have?? Is simply putting a religious book on the floor disrespecting other religions? What makes your holy book now any different from the Jewish and Christian perspectives on their religious books? They don't go into a frenzy every time Bibles are burned or disrespected. Will you do the same thing?
The Third Problem since it's a created thing, wouldn't this also mean that at some point in the future, the Quran no longer exists? That the Quran is finite and will at some point cease to exist? Wouldn't this mean at some point, Islam itself becomes useless because the number one source for everything, the Quran no longer exists? The Quran will cease to exist if it were created, when it happens, will the meaning of the verses and Muslim understanding built up over the centuries also cease to exist? Tafsirs, Fiqh, and Tajwid all suddenly become useless and void of any meaning because the backbone of Islam, the Quran no longer exists. What about the Muslim understanding of what Allah is? Isn't that detrimental should the Quran cease to exist? The best outcome is that Muslims still retain the knowledge but Islam becomes spineless without a religious book and the worst outcome is the complete disintegration of Islam as everything built upon the Quran, now becomes useless. It would mean the complete death of Islam as a major Abrahamic religion.
Next, what about during the Hour, when everything in the heavens and on the Earth will be destroyed and no longer exist? Muslims believe that when the Hour arrives, everything will be destroyed. Every human, child, animal, plant, planet, universe, devil, and angel will die inevitably. Only god remains. Due to this, according to Dualists, will the Quran experience the same fate? All of its verses and Surahs destroyed by god himself. Now I know Muslims, even those of other sects believe the Quran will disappear bit by bit before the Hour as a sign of the impending doom and apocalypse. However, other Muslims believe that yes, the Quran will disappear but the verses themselves remain preserved with god i.e. Allah since these are the literal words of god himself. In a sense, the verses suddenly don't exist, they return back to god.
TLDR, the Dualist Mutazilite view implies a contradiction where the Quran is both God and not God at the same time, it nullifies the Quran's holy status and the divine meaning of the verses, and last, it means the Quran is finite and will cease to exist at some point in the future.
Now, onto the Ashari, Maturidi and Athari sects,
The First View (The Majority)
These three are the most prominent and widely held doctrinal sects in the current Muslim population. I will be splitting the next sections into two sections, Ashari-Maturidi (since both are quite similar and considered a single unified school of thought by Muslim scholars) and the Athari school.
Ashari-Maturidi
The Asharis and Maturidis believe the Quran and its verses to be the literal Word of God itself, with Allah since eternity before time however they believe the book form of the Quran (mushaf), the one which every Muslim holds and reads is of man-made origin. In other words, the verses, sentences, letters, and meaning of the text are from god himself while the cover, paper, ink, writing, and publishing are from mankind. The Ash'ari creed makes a point of difference between the content of the Quran and the physical manifestation of it (in speech or as pages in a book).
The Main Problem with this argument as said by Atharis and Mutazilites is that this strips the Quran of its spiritual and holy essence in Islam. If the real divine aspect of the Quran that came from god itself are the verses and meaning of it only, then should we burn every last Quran in the world, it wouldn't be a problem. After all, the divine part still exists as it is from and with god himself, only the earthly worldly portions of it get destroyed. Why's that a problem? I mean what is the problem spiritually concerning Islam's doctrinal theology itself? What's the problem with destroying the cover or vandalizing the writing of it? It's not from god, it's man-made. The effect of this would be enormous.
This means now non-Muslims and Islamaphobes can now burn, rip, tear apart, step on, vandalize, and desecrate the Quran because they are only destroying the part that is not divine. Would Asharis or Maturidis agree to this? Is now destroying the Quran not a major sin but actually allowed? The true essence of the Quran i.e. the part that is truly divine remains preserved and exists since humans were created and will continue to exist long after everything has died and withered away. The vandalization and desecration of it does not affect the Quran because the true divine verses and meaning remain preserved. This problem is similar to the Second Problem with the Mutazilite belief, it nullifies and strips away the Quran's holy status and honorific place among the Muslim community. If it isn't truly god's divine word, what's the problem if it gets destroyed, wet, or burned?
Heck, I've heard this same argument from other sects, claiming and accusing the Ashari are just Mutazilites in disguise because their main stance of the Quran's identity revolves back to the Mutazilite position where the Quran is a creation of god. One of the main accusations against the Ashari sect is that it's just a rehash version of Mutazilite or Jahmiyyah theology (I don't have time to explain what this is right now, better if you look it up yourselves) due to similarities in doctrine and also because Imam Ashari, the founder was once a Mutazilite himself (not helping the Ashari case) but Asharis claim he renounced all Mutazilite theology and returned back to the true correct path. In this case, should the objection above against the Ashari-Maturidi position succeed, then it would help critics a lot against Asharism.
The Second Problem with holding the Ashari position is that this resembles the idolatry of Hinduism and Paganism or at least, is slipping into idolatry practice. If they claim the Speech of God is contained within the letters, pages, and ink of the Mushaf (the Quran's Uthmanic standardized codex), then how dare they believe the actions of humans can absorb and physicalize the Sacred Divine Speech of God, for Muslims believe god can never be limited by His creatures. This would also mean they believe the ink written on the Quran's pages is a physical intermediary, designed to encapsulate the Speech of God into a physical form, no different than the idols of Hindus and Pagans who believe their idols to be an intermediary or a worldly representation of the True Divine Nature.
Hindus don't claim they worship idols, rather they believe them to be ways to spiritually connect with the divine as a locus for prayer just like how Muslims consider the Kaaba as the direction for prayer, not an idol for worship or as a reminder for believers of the faith similar to how a photo of a spiritual leader is a sign of respect and a daily reminder every-day when you wake up. How is this different than believing the ink inside the Quran holds the truth or emulates the Divine Nature from the Ashari claim? Ashari Muslims affirm the Quran is still the Word of God just represented through a physical form, so how is this not idolatry? Believing that a physical human-made physical manifestation holds the Divine Speech so that followers of Islam can get closer to god?
This would be even worse than the Mutazilites, for committing idolatry whether intentionally or not is a major grave sin in Islam, to the point those that who commit it and do not repent back are considered as Kafir (infidels). If even they aren't committing idolatry and shirk (polytheism), another major sin in Islam, then at the very least, they believe that a divine part of God can be captured inside the ink and pen of writers as if they the Speech of God and the ink become one and the same, another reference to the Christian belief of God having both a Divine and Human Nature. Of course, Muslims and Ashari Muslims consider this to be heretical and blasphemous, but what's the difference between believing the Quran is both man-made and divine versus the Christological belief of Jesus being both God and Man?
The Third Problem with the Ashari answer that the Quran itself is created while the Speech of God isn't is where is the Speech of God then? Asharis can't answer that it is still in heaven for they also believe the Mushaf or Quran contains the Word and Speech of God. If they believe that it is still in heaven with god and not on earth, then what are they even reading every day? Clearly not the Speech of God if they claim it isn't with us now, perhaps an imperfect human copy of the divine Speech of God but that would mean the Quran is imperfect and the work of man, which would be affirming the Mutazilite position. So they can't claim it is both in the heavens and on the earth nor claim it is either in the heavens only or on the earth with mankind only.
I already explained they also can't say the Speech of God is contained inside the ink and letters of the Quran for that means the Divine Speech has become limited because of it. God in Islam can never be limited, nor can His creatures limit god. So if isn't option A, B, or C, where is the Holy Sacred Speech of God then? The Speech which is supposed to be the principle guiding force for all of mankind especially, Muslims. How can Asharis then claim they believe in the Quran as the revelation and Word of God sent down to Muhammad if they can't tell us where in their holy book, is the Speech of God itself? At worst, this means the Ashari belief entails the Quran isn't holy or divine thus eliminating Islam's entire main source and one of the 6 pillars of Iman (faith), and at best, reading the Quran isn't a holy act nor can be used as a book for guidance, for Muslims aren't reading the Word of God then. They are reading an imperfect fallible man-made copy of the Speech of God, not the true Divine Inspiration from Allah.
TLDR, the Ashari-Maturidi middle path that the Quran was uncreated and eternal, yet its ink and paper, individual letters and words were created strips the Quran has multiple problems, some may even go against what Islam stands for. It strips the Quran of its Divine Sacred Essence as the Word of God, at worse it may lead to shirk and idolatry akin to the Hindus and Pagans, and at best, Asharis can't point to us where the Word and Speech of God is in the Quran.
Athari/Ahlul Hadith
Now for the Atharis, they are strict literalists who believe the Quran and Allah's Speech both are uncreated unlike the Asharis/Maturidis who adopt a middle path, or the Mutazilite who outright claim the Quran was created, the extreme position.
The First Problem with the Athari position is pretty clear, if the Quran is the literal Word of God completely, then does that mean what Muslims are holding is a literal piece of God here on earth in the moral realm? Does that mean god is with us all the time? How can god, who Muslims consider as being transcendent be here on earth with mankind? If the Quran is the literal physical Speech of God and not just metaphorically or analogically, then does this mean the Speech of God exists on Earth? How can god be here on Earth? The Atharis believe literally that the Quran is the Speech of God, so unless they claim the Speech of God suddenly transformed into a physical object (which I'll address below), the Quran would be a god or at least have a piece of the divine essence of Allah.
This is no different than the Christian position where there exists a God in heaven and a God on Earth at the same time. As I already mentioned, Muslims consider the Christian position of a god on earth unacceptable yet when we look at their own views, we find (in the Athari case) a piece of god exists on earth. Allah still exists in the heavens, yet the Speech of God exists here in the Quran. Let's not even get into the issue of a transcendent god existing in the mortal physical realm, where the laws of physics govern meaning god would be limited in some capacity (which most Muslims would see as ridiculous)
The Second Problem is the relationship between the Quran (God's Speech) and God himself. Considering the Quran was revealed to Muhammad and sent down by Gabriel, how should we understand the Speech of God is here now? Do Atharis believe that the Speech of God suddenly separated from the main body when the Quran was revealed and sent down to earth? Or do Atharis believe the Quran is still the undivided Speech of God, in which case a part of god is literally on earth?
Or what about when the Quran was compiled in book form starting with Abu Bakr's reign and ending with Uthman's standardization? Should we take this to mean now not only does the Speech of God literally exist on earth but the Speech of God now has taken shape, molded into letters and words while compiled into a book equipped with paper pages and covers from front to back? If they want to deny these are from god i.e. the physical cover is man-made, then they would be subscribing to the Ashari-Maturidi doctrine of the middle path (which I already showed also has problems). If they want to take the other path and claim the Quran we have now is not the Word of God literally, then they would be subscribing to the heretical Mutazilite position which also, has tons of religious and doctrinal problems.
TLDR, the Athari literalist position invites more harm than good when it comes to answering the question of the Quran's uncreated nature. It would mean god is literally on earth, or a piece of god's divine essence is. Affirming that a piece of the Divine Essence exists here on earth with mankind would be something similar to the Christian belief that god exists both in the heavens and on earth (Father and Son). Other than that, it would also complicate the relationship between the Quran and God even more. If the Quran is the literal Word and Speech of God, how do Atharis explain the Quran's standardization into a single written book with ink, paper, and covers? Does it mean the Speech of God underwent a physical transformation?
Consequences
Islam posits the Quran to be the Word of God from Allah Himself, however how exactly does that work leads to massive problems within Islam's doctrinal framework. Muslims can't state the Quran is the true literal Speech of God otherwise they would be committing a blasphemous act by believing god is literally on earth with us at this very moment. They also can't deny it is the Speech of God for Islam considers the Quran to be the perfect Kalamullah (literally the Word of God). It is one of the core tenets of belief that Muslims believe the Quran to be the actual Words of God sent down to Muhammad as the last revelation. They also can't adopt a middle path like the Asharis-Maturidis because I've already shown that this just leaves the Quran inside a grey area, it's both the Word of God and also not the Word of God at the same time. Other problems are also relevant which I've already discussed above. Either the middle approach collapses into itself, becoming either one the extreme views, literal divine affirmation like the Atharis, or the extreme divine nullification like the Mutazilites.
Other religions don't have this problem. They do not believe Jesus or Moses were gifted the actual literal Words and Speech of God which existed since time immemorial. Christians believe the Bible was divinely authored by the Apostles of Jesus, where the Holy Spirit guides the writers of the Bible into writing down the true teachings of Jesus and Christianity. Christians don't believe the Bible's passages are the literal Speech of God which has existed with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as if affirming the Bible was also another Divine Person of the Trinity. No, only Muslims as far as I know affirm both their Holy Book contains the Speech of God which both exists on Earth and also with God up in heaven but that leaves them in a contradiction of whether to affirm the Quran is God Himself on Earth or the true Words of God are still up in heaven. After all, how can the Divine Nature which is uncorrupted and perfect exist in a world not perfect, but actually filled with sin, corruption, and spiritual pollution?
In the end, Muslims face a dilemma with regard to the Quran's Holy and Divine Nature. This a dilemma which after going through all the possible Muslim answers that have been given over the years, still fails to give us a proper satisfying answer.
Conclusion
All the responses and viewpoints of the major Islamic sects fail to answer the question, of whether the Quran is created or not. They tried to square a circle by trying to find a balance between affirming the Quran is the divine Word of God while at the same time not falling into a literalist interpretation where god is on Earth (as the Atharis do). However, all responses so far have failed to properly find the right solution, all either fall into extremities at both ends of the spectrum (Mutazilite and Athari) or tried to strike a balance, but only managed to kick the can down the road even further.
If Christianity has the Problem of the Trinity, a major fundamental question that still has philosophers and theologians scratching their heads trying to find an answer, then the Problem of the Quran's Nature is the Islamic version of it. The difference is while Christians continue to debate and argue about the Trinity's true nature, Muslim and Islamic scholars have relatively abandoned the debate, choosing to hold either one of the three major schools of thought. My personal opinion is this is an unfortunate situation, ever since the decline of philosophy in Islamic thought, Kalam and Falsafah (Islamic philosophy) have gained a bad reputation amongst Muslims as being a "gateway to blasphemy". Rarely you will find Muslim scholars in the modern era debate about this, let alone teach laymen Muslims about these topics.
At the very least, I hope my post can inspire future Muslims to look into this topic further, creating new fascinating answers and arguments that contribute to the Muslim and non-Muslim understanding of what Allah is in Islam.

Imagine a dream bucket list filled with exciting adventures and unforgettable experiences that most people want to check off. This ultimate list might include visiting stunning beaches, exploring ancient ruins of historic civilizations, going on thrilling safaris, taking a hot air balloon ride, learning to surf, hiking to breathtaking mountain summits or experiencing local cultures through vibrant festivals. Now, imagine experiencing all these dream adventures in one incredible destination like Coffs Harbour. This coastal gem in Australia offers stunning beaches where you can relax and unwind. Explore Coffs harbor with Coffs harbor cruises, the nearby ancient rainforest and discover indigenous culture. The place has a variety of landscapes and fun things to do, making it perfect for checking off your dream bucket list!
What Are the Main Attractions of Coff Harbour?
Coffs Harbour, nestled on the east coast of Australia, have a myriad of attractions that draw visitors from all over the world. In fact, Coffs harbor sightseeing is like a literal representation of a fancy travel brochure! One of its iconic landmarks is the Big Banana, a giant sculpture that symbolizes the region's heritage in agriculture, particularly its history of banana farming. The Big Banana has become a popular tourist attraction, drawing visitors of all ages to explore the Big Banana Fun Park located nearby. There's an ice skating rink where you can glide across the ice, a thrilling water park with slides and splash zones for cooling off, and even a giant slide that promises an exhilarating ride. The park offers a blend of adventure and fun suitable for families and thrill-seekers alike. It's a must-visit spot for anyone exploring this coastal town in New South Wales, offering a fun-filled experience and a chance to learn about the region's agricultural heritage.
Coffs harbor sightseeing extends beyond just words if you are a nature lover or an outdoor enthusiast. If you enjoy marine life and snorkeling, the Solitary Islands Marine Park is a must-visit spot. This protected area is filled with diverse marine species, making it ideal for underwater exploration. For those who prefer lush rainforests and scenic hiking trails, Dorrigo National Park is the place to be. The park features stunning waterfalls and offers picturesque hikes like the Skywalk, where you can admire the canopy from above. Coffs Harbour is also famous for its beautiful beaches. Jetty Beach is perfect for swimming and surfing, while Park Beach offers scenic picnic spots and interesting rock pools to explore. If you're into birdwatching and panoramic coastal views, don't miss Muttonbird Island Nature Reserve. To immerse yourself in the local culture, visit the Coffs Harbour Jetty Markets, where you can browse local arts, crafts, and fresh produce. Throughout the year, the city hosts various events and festivals that celebrate its rich heritage and community spirit.
The Famous Coffs Harbor Cruises
You should know that one of the best things about Coffs Harbour is its stunning coastline along the beautiful Coff Harbour waters. Here, you have the option to take a walk along the beach or hike up the island for amazing views of the coast and surrounding areas. However, choosing the Coffs harbor cruises will do wonders to your adventure, truly! These cruises take you out onto the water to see dolphins, whales (during certain times of the year), and other marine life. It's an exciting opportunity to get up close to nature and enjoy the ocean views.
A Small Coastal Town For Huge Adventures!
There's so much to discover and enjoy in this beautiful coastal town! Each year, Coffs Harbour attracts thousands of tourists seeking its natural beauty and adventure. The peak tourist season is during summer (December to February) when the weather is warm and perfect for outdoor activities. However, Coffs Harbour enjoys a mild climate year-round, making it a great spot for travel enthusiasts at any time.
With its mix of outdoor adventures, cultural sites, and scenic beauty, Coffs Harbour is indeed a dream destination for those who love exploring a variety of landscapes and experiencing new activities in a relaxed coastal setting!

Apologies if I am breaking any subreddit rules here. I'm trying to identify if SN could be a good fit for us. I'd also be open to anyone who wishes to DM about this topic or give me a demo of their SN setup. I know this subreddit will be biased but I wanted to hear from those who actually work with the product before I talk to any sales reps.
I am one of about a dozen developers on a team that's specialized in the Hyland OnBase WorkView case/document management platform. We've been using it for over a decade and have built a lot of successful client projects with it, but the drawbacks have reached a point where we are looking for a replacement. Ideally the new platform is something that our team of developers can learn and become proficient with relatively quickly. We'd also be open to hiring some people with SN experience, and/or bringing in a professional services group to get us on track.
A typical client project for our team is to build a case management system that a state government office of 25-50 case workers would use to enroll applicants in a program to receive some type of assistance. Case workers would perform a series of checklist and document reviews on the applicants' cases and move their case through a variety of steps from intake to closeout. Third party users may also log in to this system and perform their own reviews of cases. Users might be grouped into teams and can only see cases assigned to their team.
Not all our projects follow this model, it's just become a common one for us. I've only spent a couple hours reading about SN, skimming through some of the videos on their website, so I still need to do more research, but I wanted to lay out some info about our current platform below. I would love to hear feedback from the SN crowd here about how it compares relative to the pros/cons listed below, and anything in particular you love/hate about it, things you wish you knew about it before you started, etc.
The good:

• Easy to build a data model -- intuitive for developers to define classes, fields, relationships between classes, and even extension classes where appropriate.
• Easy to use the screen designer to throw together an interface for users to enter data into your fields (more on this in the "cons" section).
• Easy to create working filters/queues so staff that use the system can track what's pending their review.
• Easy to set up user groups and control who can see what.
• Document management is built-in, easy to import documents and automatically tag them with keywords based on the record/screen they're being uploaded to. Also easy to query for all documents of a certain type, with certain keyword values, uploaded in a custom date range, etc.
• Transaction history on every record makes it easy to audit who changed what and when.
• Document templates -- the ability to generate a Word/PDF document with dynamic text on demand is very useful for clients that need their staff to print and mail letters.
• Ability to write C# code to do anything we want, even if we could do it with a native component. Our client's business logic often becomes so complex (and changes so often) that it's easier to manage with code libraries that fire when buttons are pressed, rather than with the built-in "no code" workflow design steps.
• Ability to build external applications that interface with/manipulate OnBase data using the OnBase DLL. We have some C# console applications that run on Windows Task Scheduler every night, for example "connect to this FTP instance and import whatever files have been imported in the last 24 hours, turn them all into data objects in OnBase, and send us a summary email".

The bad:

• The look and feel of the client is clunky and outdated, looks like it's from the 90s. It's a Windows application. There is a web client but it lacks some key functionality and also has the same outdated look. The screen designer itself is just a bare bones HTML page you can add rows and columns to and drag/drop your fields on it. We've added some CSS to improve it somewhat and I'm sure if we brought in some designers they could push that further, but we shouldn't have to work so hard to make the default product not look bad. And don't bother trying to use it on your phone or tablet.
• Migrating changes from DEV/QA/PROD is a nightmare. Our WorkView instance has apparently reached the level of complexity at which the tool for exporting your data to be imported into another instance simply crashes and doesn't work anymore. Even when it does work on a fresh instance, it's a confusing experience of mapping all the fields and objects between the two environments and making decisions about whether to keep or overwrite each one. It's reached the point where we have no choice but to build in PROD, and test changes with internal users before we modify permissions so that they are visible to all users. Our TEST and DEV instances are therefore always outdated and not useful as a result. You can imagine how painful this has become.
• Performance is slow. We've never gotten a clear answer from our support calls about why it can take 15+ seconds for a record to load. I suspect this product was simply never intended to be pushed to the limits that we seem to have reached after so many years. From what I can tell, most Hyland customers use OnBase for document management/workflow, and if they have any WorkView/case management projects they use a small number of classes, with a small number of fields. We are 100% WorkView. I would guess our instance has 500 classes (tables), 1000 designed screens, 5000 filters/queues, and 2000 buttons that launch C# scripts. It takes 3 minutes for the OnBase studio/designer IDE to finish logging in/loading our instance before we can begin making any changes to it.
• Licensing is expensive and confusing. You can buy concurrent licenses that are shared between all users (expensive) or named licenses (less expensive) that are assigned on a per-user basis. We host a lot of different client projects on our instance, and it's not a good look when we reach the license limit and users start complaining that they can't log in. Our users have no idea what licenses are and shouldn't have to see error messages they don't understand. Of course this is a problem we can solve with more money but I am curious to learn how SN handles this.
• The built in reporting module leaves a lot to be desired. Very limited customization/styling, and no ability to set up a report to be emailed on a schedule. We instead rely on other modules like PowerBI and Tableau.
• I mentioned in the "good" section that we can build external applications in Visual Studio to create/modify OnBase data, but this is really a response to the poor IDE built into OnBase Studio which lacks so many features, it's easier to just import the OnBase DLL into a Visual Studio solution and build it there, so you have access to breakpoint debugging, logging, Nuget packages, etc. If I'm writing code in the platform IDE, it shouldn't be a miserable experience.
• Very limited developer resources. You won't find any resources on Stackoverflow, Reddit, or anywhere public. If you run into a problem, you can check the Hyland Community forums (good luck, the search functionality is broken) or send an email to support. Likely a result of the OnBase product just not being very well known/popular. Makes me a bit jealous of the more well known platforms like Salesforce and... maybe ServiceNow?? It was refreshing to find an active subreddit, at the very least!

Tetsu was on the TV program "This is a side note, but..." on 5/15 alongside Hisashi from GLAY. You can watch the program here with a VPN set to Japan (available until 5/22): https://tver.jp/episodes/epp2yhtg7y
Some highlights:

• Tetsu and Hisashi talked about how L'Arc and GLAY were portrayed as rivals, and this fueled each band to outdo the other. Tetsu said since GLAY had a concert with 200,000 people in one day (setting the Guinness world record at the time), L'Arc decided to do the Grand Cross tour with 125,000 people each day over two days. And since GLAY released two singles simultaneously in 1998, L'Arc decided to release three singles and then two albums simultaneously.
• L'Arc and GLAY played in the same concert in their indies days in 1992. Tetsu doesn't remember, but Hisashi said that one of GLAY's staff members told them, "You guys suck, go watch L'Arc's rehearsal and learn from them!" So all four members of GLAY lined up to watch L'Arc's rehearsal. Hisashi thought that they were really good, no wonder they're popular!
• Tetsu told the story of how he met Hyde and kept trying to persuade him to join him even though Hyde already had his own band. He went to all of Hyde's band's concerts and tried to persuade Hyde to join him at the afterparties, even though Hyde's bandmates were right there too. The interviewer asked if the other members couldn't compare to Hyde, and Tetsu said, "It seemed like only Hyde was shining."
• Tetsu also told the story of how he started playing bass at age 14 from Ken's recommendation, and how he originally though bass would be easier than guitar because bass only has four strings rather than six. "Yes! Ken-senpai! What's a bass?" And then after seeing the bass and how big it is, he wondered why he has to play bass when he's smaller than Ken.
• Tetsu also talked about when Hyde quit the band in 2002. Hyde sent a letter to Tetsu that was delivered to him by a staff member. Tetsu said Hyde would only come to such a conclusion after thinking about it for a long time, so he thought there was no way to change his mind and accepted the decision. The four of them got together to talk and they decided to disband. But then a staff member told Tetsu, "If you're the leader, you should stop him!" And then Tetsu thought for the first time, "I'm supposed to stop him??" Then he and Hyde talked just the two of them, and he managed to persuade Hyde to try to stay with the band for a bit longer.
  • Hisashi said, "That staff member was saying what everyone was thinking!" And one of the hosts said, "You definitely had to stop him! Our youth!!"
• The PVs for Driver's High, Hitomi no Juunin, and Finale each cost 100 million yen to make! (Tetsu said the Pieces PV also cost that much to make on his radio show.) Tetsu said he received offers to appear in movies in the past, but the movies had a smaller budget than their PVs, so he thought there's no point being in those movies. (At the exchange rate in 1999, that amount was equivalent to roughly $877,000.)
• A kid asked Hisashi and Tetsu what are their favorite fruits. Tetsu's is melon!
• Another kid asked if GLAY and L'Arc members ever fight, and said it seems like at least GLAY get along well. 😂 Hisashi confirmed that the GLAY members all get along well since they started as friends in the same high school who formed a band together, but commented that L'Arc isn't like that, right?
• Tetsu said that he tends to make suggestions, but they get rejected by the other members. Ideas in general tend to get shelved if even one member is somewhat against it. He also said that the L'Arc members tend to talk to each other through staff members. One time, another member got really mad at Tetsu, but he only heard about it through the staff. Since they don't talk to each other about the issues directly, he feels that it's easy to be misunderstood since the messages change when it's passed through multiple staff members. Tetsu said he's working hard to change this setup because it's definitely not good.
• One kid asked how much money do GLAY and L'Arc have. Hisashi said he's an employee of GLAY's company (label) and gets a salary from it. Tetsu was really curious about that and said to Hisashi that he wants to hear more about their structure. Hisashi said GLAY has their own company and they run their own management, and the members are employees of the company.
• Hisashi said they actually make a lot of money from the streaming services! Even just in one month, it's a lot of money. Tetsu was really surprised that Hisashi knows these numbers, because he doesn't see them, and also L'Arc is probably set up so that the "adults" get most of the money, not the band. So he wants to change that structure.
• Another kid asked what are their favorite cars. Tetsu's is Ferarri from the 60s and 70s.
• Another question was if the bands have any plans to retire. Tetsu said no!

The whole show was really interesting! But the part about the management structure and Tetsu being interested in GLAY having their own label was especially so. Tetsu said on his radio show that the reason why L'Arc isn't that active is not because the members are too busy with solo projects -- there are a lot of problems with the label, management, staff, and music copyrights. He wants to change various aspects of it because he doesn't think it's right that they have to stay with the same team from the time they debuted 30 years ago. I had read various reports in the Japanese media about things like L'Arc's label didn't pay them the appropriate fees and that they released a DVD without the members' consent. Supposedly, Tetsu and Hyde want to leave the label, but Ken is against it and Yukihiro is on the fence. It's hard to know how much of these reports is true, but seeing Tetsu on this show speaking openly about his dissatisfaction with the management structure makes me think there is some degree of truth to those reports.
I was curious about how GLAY came to form their own label, and it turns out they were engaged in a lawsuit with their former label over similar issues (unpaid fees, music copyright).
After the show, Hisashi tweeted that he wants to do a joint concert with L'Arc! He's the third member of GLAY to say this recently (Teru and Takuro said the same thing on a radio show last month). The tweet currently has over 6 million views, and lots of fans are excited and hoping that a GLAY x L'Arc concert can become a reality! But they're wondering where such a large concert could be held because it probably needs a capacity of at least 100k or 200k, and the war for tickets would be a bloodbath.

Hi all UPN/Pre-Nursing people! I just wanted to write out some tips on how to look best on your NursingCAS applications for your goal starting semester. This is a pretty detailed guide with some good calculations to determine other scores beyond just the basic impaction score. This also provides some resources for your TEAs that I found most useful. This guide is directed towards those applying to SJSU especially those on the Pre-Nursing Track at SJSU.
Don't flop your first semester: It is true that the first semester of college has a learning curve, but it is still important that you stay focused and maintain a high GPA. For many this is the easiest semester, but don't be fooled English 1A or Chem30A/BIOL65 will bite you in the butt last second.
Aim for a high GPA not solely TEAs: As much as people brag about their TEAs scores a GPA at SJSU is much more important! If you have a 4.0 GPA and score lower on your TEAs you will have a way better shot at getting in. Take this for example: a person got 2 A- in 3 unit courses out of the big 8. This makes their cumulative GPA a 3.94 GPA. If this person applied to nursing against a person with a 4.0 this score is then doubled, for impaction. 8 compared to a 7.88. With 2 A-'s you now need to do better than 3.5% of whatever teas score the kid with a 4.0 got. Also keep in mind that SJSU already requires a 84% to even apply leaving a 16% playing field. If you get a 4.0 and a 84% a person with 3.94 needs to get a 87.5% on their teas!

• BE ADVISED EVERY SINGLE POINT COUNTS!
• Realistically you are okay and should not flip out with a 3.94 GPA to this is just being used as a clear example. Just remember that if you keep a high GPA that you are saving yourself a mental breakdown before taking a TEAs.
  • Be sure to get the extra points as well if you know you don't have perfect stats. This will greatly improve your odds at getting in, especially for Fall applicants.

Don't rely on comparing stats to AllNurses: This is a hot take, but hear me out; 60 kids get into SJSUs nursing program and maybe 10 people post their stats on AllNurses. I am throwing no shade saying this, but these are the people that are for the most part going to get in. Some claim to have 4.0 GPAs, 98 TEAs, 2000hrs of Healthcare experience, and co-reqs done too. Obviously they are going to get in but, that spot is now taken from a person bringing it down to 59 others. It is nice to have a comparison to, but unless more people post on it people are going to have skewed to the right opinions. There are tons of applicants and there are different groups of people apply. The overachievers, the average, and the prayers. Most people are average and do not have the crazy stats these people have. There are some people that do post stats that are more relevant to compare to such as a 4.0 with an 88% or something like that. Again this is highballing and it is important to really dig deep into who got accepted when using this platform. A 92% TEAs is what even the pre-nursing advisors and these guys want you to drop the major. Do realize that if you have a lower GPA you will need a higher TEAs. Doing this calculation [20(4-(current GPA))*3] will tell you what you need in comparison to a 4.0 GPA.

• Here is an example with a 3.8GPA [20(4-3.8)*3] = [20(.2)*3] = 4*3 = 12, this means (excluding extra points), you need to score at least a 96% if a kid with a 4.0 got a 84% on their TEAs.
  • For understanding the 20 comes from the calculation 10 (to make the solution a whole number) multiplied by 2 (because the GPA is multiplied by two in the impaction score calculation) and the 3 comes from the fact each .1 of a GPA equates to 3% of a persons TEAs score (1/30 = .033333*3 = .1). The 20 contains the multiplication factor of 2 already so we don't need to multiply 3 by 2 as well.

The minimum GPA and TEAs: Yes it is true that if you do have a pretty poor GPA (3.3-3.4) and don't have the TEAs to make up for it then it is probably unlikely you will get into the program. But, at this campus the stats are never posted for who gets in and during which semester. Recently SJSU raised their TEAs from a 78% all the way up to a required 84% which to me is crazy high! I assume this is to cut down the amount of applicants and in turn this makes the TEAs pretty irrelevant to the total stats. With only a 16% max gap, now any person who is able to apply to nursing must have at least that score making the GPA that much more important. If you have a 3.9 GPA and a 94 on your teas, a person with a 3.8 will still get outcompeted regardless of TEAs score. This is most likely why the GPA was lowered for nursing and is now a 3.3 instead the previous 3.4 because some kids may have done well in the GPA aspect and messed up their TEAs. Aim for a higher GPA but do realize that a lot of kids do manage to get really good GPAs that correlate with good TEAs scores. Get a good GPA, 3.8 and above is pretty good, a 3.9+ is quality work for both Fall and Spring semesters, and make sure to aim for higher than the TEAs threshold.Nursing advisors deter people from applying but, it is accurate that as of Fall 2024 that you have to be at the top to get in. Keep in mind that there are 500+ applicants and only 60 get in that is only 12% of the applicant pool. You need to aim for the 80th percentile at the minimum to be on the waitlist first round (beating 400 other applicants)
TEAs Test: Now I know I have talked a lot about the importance of the GPA, but regardless you still do want to do well on the TEAs. Your TEAs score, like I talked about above, is directly related to your GPA. If you got a lower GPA you need a high TEAs and if you got a high GPA you can slack on the TEAs score. If you have a low GPA this will make or break the odds of getting in and every 3% on the test you get a .1 point increase. Going against what I think everyone I have ever talked to has said, for me personally I say take the TEAs online, if that is still an option. Not only can you take the test literally whatever day you want, you can also take it at whatever time of that day you selected as long as a proctor is available. Some argue that the they test better when in a school environment and this is valid, but I also test better in those environments and I bombed my first TEAs due to nerves. When I took it online the only stressors were if the test were to crash or the proctor flagged my exam for no reason, but neither of those happened not even close. The low stress of being at home and taking the test when I wanted to allowed for much better results and comfort. You get to finish the sections when you want. If you think you are done and don't want to triple check your answers to save the brainpower for later sections you get that option. Take the test where you think you will test best though and take these words with a grain of salt. I just wanted to say that the TEAs online is the same content as it is in person and at the leisure of your home. Not many people talk about how the TEAs online is positive for some people!
Get the extra points if you can: The extra points are pretty easy to get at SJSU especially as commuters. Of course nobody can make themselves a first generation student, but if you are that is easy free points and congrats. No one has a clue what SJSU gives as a "bump" to an applicants score and it is honestly only there because everyones stats are so similar so they need more tie breakers. Granted, you will most likely want to win the tie breaker and in order to do you have to at least have all the co-reqs done. I want to be straight up and say I think the vast majority of students have these all completed prior to applying for the Fall because you have an extra semester (maybe not Spring idk). So make sure to have these all completed so you are not left behind and waste an attempt in the SJSU applicant pool(unless you have great stats t or have healthcare hrs instead then just apply). You only have 2 attempts at applying to nursing at SJSU so make them count. If you can, there is also the healthcare hours bump. This is a bump isn't achieved by all applicants and could help if you have lower stats. Keep in mind that this usually involves volunteer work once a week for 4hr shifts so you will be wherever you choose to stay for about 6 months (decent time commitment with school). I've heard that the healthcare hrs are pretty lenient about what exactly you did as long as it is part of the healthcare field and you can get it signed. Of course if you already have had a health job within 3 years this is a free point bump too!
Spring semester isn't as easy to get into as it once was: SJSU changed this policy. In 2023 only transfer students can apply for SJSU fall semester cohorts, no longer accepting post-bacs. Whereas spring semester cohorts will accept post-bacs and no longer accept transfer students. This means that Fall semester likely is getting more difficult to get into as all transfer students have to apply for the same cohort. It is believed that the School accepts a bunch of SJSU students and after the initial acceptance everyone on the waitlist is combined meaning more transfers will get in from the waitlist process as they may not have made the original cut with the SJSU students bump. This would also mean there are less opportunities for SJSU students to get in during the spring cohort as they battle against stronger transfer candidates. As for transfers, in Fall there are more opportunities to get in as more are accepted initally and through the waitlist process. For post-bacs the same process is in place but, since the top UPN students (because they were following the exact track) were picked out for Fall stats could be a little lower. Regardless, Fall semester cohorts I would assume have slightly higher impaction scores from all areas that are applying as most students took their time throughout all the courses and UPN program students are all expected to apply for Fall semester. Take this all with a grain of salt since again there are no exact numbers of all that get accepted as transfers and post-bacs and if these numbers have increased because of this change.
Remember your overall GPA prior to applying does matter: Your overall GPA does matter when applying for nursing at SJSU! When it comes to tiebreakers if everything is the same - the gpa, the teas, and the extra points - the school will look at overall GPAs to decide who gets in. So make sure to get good grades in that moral issues class freshman year because it will come back to haunt you if you don't get in because of it.
Don't Break down!: It is easy to read all of this and think that you are screwed, but it is important to remember that many people are in the exact same situation. We are not all getting 4.0s and 92s on our teas like our advisors tell us we need. Expect A-'s and a B+. No stats are published and nobody knows for sure what you need but the advisors say people get "mostly a's". Aim for the highest impaction score that you can get and don't slack on it because literally that is what is determining if you get in or not.

• As a SJSU student you have 2 opportunities to get in, once in Fall (a little more difficult as most SJSU students are on track so there are more of you) and Spring (a little easier just because there are less Pre-Nursing majors applying). So if you don't get in for the Fall and your stats are good, you have a great chance in the Spring
  • PS if you do get declined for the Fall get all the extra bumps you can and if you still have one more TEAs opportunity, TAKE IT AGAIN! If you get waitlisted for Fall there is a really good chance you will get in for Spring as the people you were originally going against are gone.

Waitlist: If you get waitlisted it really is not the end of the world. Most schools send out acceptance letters in two waves one at the beginning/mid of April and at the end of April where people accept of decline their schools. SJSU keeps a long waitlist because a lot of people drop the school for more local schools/bigger name schools so never lose hope. I've heard stories of people being #70 on the waitlist and still getting in. (FYI you have to contact someone to check if you were waitlisted you will not get any notice of what is taking so long for your acceptance. only when you are on the waitlist can you contact staff about your placement. Staff will not tell you where you are if you are not emailed by Nursing that you are on the waitlist.)

• If you are immediately declined from the school, that means that currently they were unable to offer you a seat. However, this does not mean that you are out yet. The school has an original waitlist and if that gets ran though they create another backup waitlist in case more students drop in the summer. This contains around 12 more students and you could be apart of this group.

EXTRA Info:

• Nursing Apps open January 17th for Fall and August 17th for Spring and they both close on the 15th the following month
• If you are a current SJSU student you do not need to apply for SJSU again prior to applying
• However many units a course is will impact your GPA differently (more units means more of your GPA)
• You get about One Week to accept SJSU. SJSU is one of the latest schools to send out acceptance letters so be prepared to wait. 8 Weeks after the deadline is when acceptance letter should begin to roll out.
• Acceptances are sent out around April 10th for Fall and November 10th for Spring.

TEAs Studying TIPs:

• DM me if you want a google doc with TEAs information (it won't let me put it here) it provides, in my opinion, the best ways to study for the TEAs. For me personally I only received a 93.3 but, if I had realized how vital one of the sources before I took the test the next day, I would have performed even better! Please give this a look. If you dont want you I'll put the order of importance here without links
  • 1 Quizlets, #2 the ATI website, #3 Miscellaneous Prep Tests (I provide links in the doc), #4 PocketPrep

Application Assistance:

• Submit all documents separate from each other
• The application pool is Not Rolling meaning you can apply at any time before the deadline and still not be penalized
• Whatever work experience you have will not change the size of the score bump i.e a hospital volunteer will get the same size bump as a person with a CNA.
  • You also do not need any letters of recommendation and don't need to fill out any extra information on the NursingCAS website for SJSU specifically. They will not read any paragraphs that are not relevant to you getting accepted.
• AP credit does not affect the GPA it is solely for credit. If the AP course is not listed on your transcript then you must submit a form proving you passed the exam in the "other" section.
  • Make sure that all your documents that need to be there are there and they will be seen and accounted for. Regardless of where you put the documents the will show up on the application.
• Download you application prior to submitting your application (they will let you do this after you finished all the documents uploading and are preparing to finalize). Look over everything to ensure it's all correct.

I know this whole process is stressful and pretty terrifying, but everyone has a chance. This is just what I have learned throughout the whole process and hopefully it will help others that have 0 clue what is going on. Although some of this may make it seem like you need to have crazy high stats I am just trying to say do your best. If SJSU ever posts the stats for accepted applicants this would a be a different story. This is a CSU so unfortunately this application does follow the "a single number means everything" this means your impaction score is who you are; not necessarily how well rounded you may be. Good luck to all future nursing applicants and congrats.
"Congratulations! This email is to inform you of your provisional acceptance to The Valley Foundation School of Nursing at San José State University" Fall
You can DM if you have any questions.

I wanted to post this because I see many going through a similar, tough buying time. I hope my story gives you a boost and helps you keep going. There is my sad backstory that you can skip to "Dec, 2020" that starts the home journey. This post is extremely long but emotional for me. Please be kind.
The only house i ever lived in was my uncles, for 2 years (age 3-5) before he removed us.
My mother suffers from many tribulations, and it was reflected in life. We apartment hopped for all of my childhood. I'll never forget how hurt I was, leaving behind my valuables everytime we downsized, (dressers, my desk, doll houses etc) being cramped, no pets allowed (i love animals), neighbors banging on their ceilings when I played, hearing families fight as if they next to me, smoke coming in the windows, constant new neighbors, roaches and other infestations due to neighbors, etc.
My mom would drive around and say, “this is going to be our new house!” And get my hopes up, but it never happened. My sister (she's 5 years older) said she would buy a house for us all, and that lasted a few months before we were evicted again, moving to another apartment.
I asked constantly when we could get a house like my uncle or sister. My father had one (my parents divorced when I was an infant), and when I visited, I wished I had my own backyard, pets. I was jealous of my friends who lived in houses. I would pretend vacant homes were mine, walk to the new homes being built, and watch their progress. Imagine my future in it where my kids would know stability.
After Bullying in school (from 4th - 12th grade), SA from my father, (i was 15) neglect, abuse, depression, self harm, apartment hopping, I was desperate to move out and away once I turned 16 (emancipation). I moved from NJ when i was 18 to FL and started my own downhill spiral of DV, homelessness, repossessions, and other mentally and physically draining circumstances that pushed my limits, money, and everything
In 2017, I picked up my pieces and gathered them, alone, to AZ into the best apartment and neighborhood i ever had. I told myself that after a year, I was going to buy a home there. In 2018, I reached out to realtors and was told all I needed to do was pay off 2k of credit card debt to qualify for 250-300k. The dumbest decision I ever made was saying spending 2k was stupid. I wish I had the recourses, support, anything, or anyone to tell me to do it. had I done it, I could have bought my dream home then for 200-275k
In Dec 2020, I had been with my now husband for 3 years, went through hell in the apartments he wanted us to move to for more space, away from that neighborhood I loved. Someone stole our bikes, smoked weed next to our window, and then our new car was stolen and required 3k in repairs. I was miserable. I wanted to end the cycle of apartments and putting away my wants and needs, so we decided to begin paying things off to get pre qualified. Then came the new battlefield.
As you all know, 2021 until today, it hasn't been a buyers market. I had no idea what any of that meant until I was told I was approved to start putting in offers in January 2022. We were pre approved for a max of FHA 350k from a lender that I was sure had our backs after getting tons of denials and pisspoor brokers who couldn't care less about my childhood dream. I pulled up the MLS and saved about 30 homes a week, if not more, that were 375k and below, all the way down to 150k trailer homes, condos, townhomes, and houses.
Half of those listings were sold (pending) within 5 days. the other half we were bidding upwards against. I couldn't believe it. I was told the market is hot, lots of people selling their homes in bordering states and putting higher end offers on the homes in our price range because they were selling their homes for 500k and using the differences to buy the cheap homes. The others were investors.
After doing all of the work for my husband and roommate and then some to qualify, I was now battling 15+ people on one home multiple times. I was told to try going further out. The market I was in was too desirable. I was like, REALLY? PEOPLE GET SHOT HERE ONCE A WEEK, HOW IS THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, "HOT"??? I was told to shop beneath my budget, shop outside the location I wanted, everything you are all being told today to, "land a home, stay in it for five years, then sell it and get what I want." But I heard none of it, I wanted my DREAM home on my first buy, which wasn't a lot.
All I wanted was a 1300-2000sqft home with a front and backyard for my dog and kids, a house that didn't need a crap ton of repairs, and a neighborhood I felt comfortable in so that I wouldnt have to deal with all the things I did since I was little. I didn't care if it was upgraded, carpeted, or tile, old or new, I just wanted space, safety, a yard.
It didn't matter. Even if I sacrificed a yard, square footage, whatever, I was getting outbid. Every home I could afford was being bought in cash, waiving inspections, having a 14 day close, and/or being bought 25k to upwards of almost 200k over asking even if it was a fixer upper!! I could not compete.
In April, I FINALLY had an offer accepted in a town that was 30 minutes from work, building up, and beautiful. I was willing to sacrifice commute time and everything for this beautiful house that checked all the boxes. It was 2,060 sqft, upstairs and downstairs, a 5k lot, in a beautiful neighborhood. We were able to get a third cosigner (lomg time friend) to up our income and get to 375k. But then I found out my preapproval wasn't so pre approved.
Having a 3rd co signer meant nothing. We needed to reserve money that we weren't informed about, DPA wanted us to pay off more debt, and we needed more income than the THREE of us had. I was livid, why didnt they tell us any of this? Why did they say our income was enough, and the DPA would cover everything?! I knew nothing, I tell you, nothing, and I should have researched more. But I was desperate.
My grandma stepped in. First, she needed a credit score. She opened up an unsecured credit card for 300. Bought gum, paid it off. We did a rapid rescore, and it shot her up to 7 freggin 735, SEVEN THIRTY FIVE LMFAO, and then we needed her social security letters. Which took two weeks too long, pushing back a close the seller REALLY WANTED TO CLOSE ON, which my realtor convinced them to hold off. Well, guess what? My grandma doesn't have a government id. She hadn't updated her id since 2005. No biggie, we'll get her to the DMV, which we had to reschedule online to 3 different locations. Well, guess what? Her mail, old id, her social security card, AND BIRTH CERTIFICATE all had DIFFERENT VARIATIONS of her name, and DMV couldn't verify her identity.
It would take two months to correct those issues. I threw my phone, scratched my arms to oblivion, fell on my knees, and cried. The lender said there was no way the loan was to be approved without Grandma. My sweet Grandma of 4 different names. I feel the tears, even now. I lost it. I fought for a home all my life and lost it because of being uninformed, way too broke ( I know I know), and then some. I felt like the universe was against me.
So May comes around, and my realtor says, "Listen, let's try this. Let's do rent to own. They pay for everything, and then you save, fix your credit, and buy the house back at the value of the contract paying the difference in appraisal if need be."
I was so broken that I did it. Back to the MLS, we still couldn't get a home in our price range in the neighborhoods I wanted. Rental price was going to be 3,100, so... we stuck to the 30-minute away neighborhood, and oh god, was that a new mistake. The first house we put an offer in on was accepted immediately. It was the smoothest process I'd ever seen in comparison to the hell I'd just gone through. I checked the MLS every day, watched homes I saved while I rented go pending or under contract in a week, or sell for over asking.
My heart sunk when all the homes I wanted and lost out to were back on the market as a rental property, or were slightly updated prices 50k-100k higher than before. Homes were being sold by opendoor, or rental from the very people I used to buy to rent from. I couldn't believe to this day how many homes I lost out to, sitting vacant for MONTHS prices dropping and dropping as the feds raised the interest rates. I went to open houses, asked what people wanted for offers (so I could be informed when I was ready), and knew my chances were getting slimmer and slimmer.
All the while, my commute was the devil. Traffic galore, accidents making my drive time go from 30-2 hours to and from. It was far from family, the mileage on my car grew so fast, my tires were wearing faster. The home was way too big for us (2765 sqft) and difficult to maintain. Beautiful home and town, but not for me.
The rent was also too high. It said it would be 2500, but wound up being 3100 after all of the damn fees they didn't disclose until AFTER WE WERE UNDER CONTRACT sflkghskg The electric bill was 6x the amount (bad company. People in that town are begnning to organize), water bill company demands 100 dollars no matter the usage (we only use about 60$), and the gas prices increased so high I was putting 60 dollars every 3 days in my car.
Then, my precious cat that followed me from NJ to AZ that had been with me through all of the DV, mental breaks, homelessness, had suffered from strokes. She was a stick, walking in circles, giving nothing but love. I tried everything I could, paid thousands to save her, but in the end, all I did was prolong her and my suffering. She passed in my arms. I love you and miss you, Emma.
Other life things happened, and by December, I had 200 dollars in the bank. When my income tax came, I applied for loans and said Im going to try the DPA and stuff again, It was either that, or rent a smaller house or apartment but seeing the market repeat my 2021 experience, I had to try with what I had. My goal was to get back to the neighborhood I wanted. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I switched realtors based on a recommendation from FB. Random person said this lady would fight for me like no one else would. This realtor recommended me a lender, she said it could make miracles happen. I almost didn't do it because I had been let down by 2 other lenders before this one in 2023, but screw it. I followed his advice to the T of what to pay down, what to keep, and what to negotiate with. We gave him our 401ks info, our paystubs, had 3 of us on the loan, and explained we had no downpayment, just money for closing costs.
The market, at this point, slowed down due to the interest rates but was beginning to pick up. A lot of the homes we put offers on didn't like our asks. Which was disappointing, but I understood. What seller would want to pay closing costs for us so our payment assistance would go strictly to the home when they could accept the few cash, investor, or better conventional loan offers? The homes were going below listing, which was cool, but not quite in my 365k max range.
Until I gave way a little bit. There were 2 townhomes. One that was detached and had the most gorgeous yard Id ever seen for where it was at, and the inside was completely upgraded and bigger than it looked with a gorgeous mountain view from the master. But it was in a neighborhood that gave me goosebumps. No wonder they would accept 365k and pay everything should we put in our offer lol I couldn't do it, though. I didn't want to sacrifice being comfortable in my home safely to have a house. It was the first and only time I was picky.
At first, that seemed like a mistake, as the only other home I thought would accept our offer in my dream neighborhood said the seller had a specific number they wanted to sell at, which wasnt 365k, it was 375k. I wasn't going to get a home after all. I knew my ask was tough, and I wasn't going to get a house despite trying for another 3 months. I gave up. But then... I thought about something. That townhome in the neighborhood of my dreams, they wanted 375k? I restructured our ask to get to that 375k. A few hours later, my realtor texted me if she could call. It was urgent.
I was at work and went into the office and called. THE SELLER ACCEPTED OUR OFFER, THEY ACCEPTED OUR EFFING OFFER! THEY ACCEPTED IT!!!! I cried so hard, hyperventilated, cried some more, and told myself I wasn't going to get excited. I had this happen before, after all.
Well, guess what? Long story short, after hurdles during this closing as well, needing to push it back for this or that, WE CLOSED!! WE CLOSED ON THE HOUSE, IT WAS MINE!!! IT IS MINE!
The seller paid for all of the closing costs. DPA paid the downpayment at 3%. The rate was 6.85%, DPA loan at 8%. I paid for the appraisal and inspection, that's it. Only 1100 out of pocket. Monthly payment was 2865, my max, but it is MINE and EVERYTHING I wanted besides having a huge yard (it's still a decent sized yard) and open kitchen Home is 8 min from work (bye bye crappy commute!),community has incredible amenities, sub division has a pool, HOA covered roof (it was new anyway), new AC, new dishwasher, freshly painted, 3 beds 2 and a half baths, 1400sqft, 2 car garage with driveway, upstairs and downstairs like I always imagined, and so much more.
Every hurdle, every tear, every breakdown, taught me what I needed to know and led me to home. After saving for a year with the cheaper electric, water, gas prices, and mortgage, we just refinanced. Got a 5.75% rate (I thought it was 5.32, but after we closed today, it was 5.75%), the home appraised for 395k with no changes besides adding a fridge and new oven. The equity paid every penny of the refinance and the DPA loan. My mortgage is now 2550. For us, this is affordable now that we are debt free and still have savings!
I got my home with the most undesirable circumstances. I may be an exception, not the rule, but if my pathetic self can do it, i promise. You can, too. Don't be defeated. Don't let the investors win.
You need to win.

Every time I see dating apps mentioned here or on Dr. K’s channel, I always see incredibly negative things about them, and I understand why that is. When I was active on dating apps, it had an incredibly negative impact on my self-confidence. I got very few matches, and it really felt like that meant I was unlovable or ugly. I'm also aware of the fact that dating apps are like 75% men and 25% women (depending on the app ofc), so it's a lot harder for men to find matches.
However, I also feel like they have the potential to be a good tool for dating. Dating apps serve as a way to cut straight to the chase. You don't have to worry about the friend zone thing (I mean, it's possible but a lot less likely since it is a DATING app). It makes introductions a lot easier and enables the ability to meet people without having to spend tons of money trying to find social activities to gamble on meeting people who may or may not be single or interested in you, assuming you find someone you are interested in, etc.
I had 5 matches when I had my profile in that smallish town of 40k people or so. Of those 5, I had conversations with 3. Of the 3, I had good conversations with 1, who I went on a date with and never talked to again. The date went decently. The main reason we didn’t talk again was that I realized I was still in love with someone else, and she was very reminiscent of the girl I was on the date with. They had names with one letter apart, the same haircuts, were around the same height, had similar interests, the same music taste, etc., and it just felt wrong so i didnt follow up and she unmatched me. Other than that, though, it went fine and it broke me out of my shell and got me on a date, which was a first for me. I think that has merit.
I really want to try dating apps again despite having had bad experiences with them in the past because I'm so lonely, and the methods I have right now for meeting people aren’t really working.
The issue is, I don’t really have the confidence to do it this time. I’m kind of surprised I was able to before when I was 18 because now, as a 20-year-old who is significantly more confident than I was then, I don’t have the courage to publish my profile. I’m decently proud of it this time; I find most of my stuff informative about me or funny and have good photos of me that are with or taken by other people which i didnt before.
I also live in a place with 15 times the population of where I lived before, so I feel like I’d have a decent chance of actually meeting someone, and that’s what I want right now. But there’s so much negativity around the apps (for mostly good reasons) that I’m hesitant to post my profile. I also have a lot of irrational fears around it. What if someone I knew gets my profile recommended to them and makes fun of me for it or judges me for it? What if I don’t get any matches this time around and my confidence gets completely destroyed? What if I go on a date and I don’t look enough like my photos?
It’s much easier just to sit at home and not do anything and just hope that next quarter of college I meet the perfect person, or that I meet someone at the bus stop or a friend of a friend, etc.
Anyways, I’m really conflicted on this and don’t really know what to do.
What are your thoughts on dating apps?

TL;DR. Tried stimulant medication for ADHD a few months ago, an evaluator not giving me the ADHD diagnosis but said I could try meds to see how I reacted. I felt it improved my focus and mental function, but had to discontinue after three days due to anxiety side effect, and a side effect of forgetting about my dogs and being surprised to see them. Wanting to know if the three days would be enough to be confident of my brain being ADHD because non-stimulant options don’t seem strong enough to be able to get a job and then do well in a job. I am thinking about trying stimulants again but want to stop stressing about whether I will react horribly to the meds if I don’t have ADHD.
A few months ago, my PA said that I could try a stimulant (I will name the med if asked but I am not sure if it is allowed to openly share; I didn’t see in the rules but I want to be safe). The evaluator I saw said that I could try stimulants to see how I react and if I basically did stuff like stare at the hairs on my arm for hours then I am not ADHD (now realizing it was not a complete evaluation because it was a conversational interview that only lasted for two hours and the reasons I wasn’t diagnosed with Autism and ADHD came down to the evaluator’s bias). I ended up having to go off of the stimulant because it increased my anxiety and I wasn’t on a good anxiety med to handle it, but for three days I took it and I felt like it did improve my mental function a bit until it wore off, and then the anxiety just crashed in. It did also have a secondary side effect where I seemed to forget about my dogs, and then I would see them and be surprised by seeing them.
But, the part I am not sure about is that my PA told me that I would know pretty quickly how I would react (whether it is within the realm of ADHD response or not). But then my therapist at the time told me a week, and then a month to be sure. It was also a trial to see if I had a psychotic disorder or bipolar, which I was diagnosed with by a previous PA but ADHD started seeming like a better explanation, so that was additionally stressful. So, I don’t know if those three days would be enough to know.
I am asking because I have started on a Strattera and Welbutrin combo since January / February (Welbutrin as a part of Auvelity, which is a combo med with Dextromethorphan) and been on them for a few months and now pretty stable. They work well together for my anxiety and depression, as well as some of my executive function. But I am currently unemployed and know that I am not at the point where I would be able to focus in a job very easily.
I struggled in school because I would always need to be doing something engaging (like be on my computer, usually not taking notes) to be able to sit still in lectures and even discussion classes. I always felt like I was running a marathon and constantly losing track of everything. I often did work that felt half-assed, and I could not keep up with readings. And my tutoring job where I sat in on the classes I was tutoring for always ended with me being on my computer working on my creative writing until I could help out in class.
So, even with the non-stimulant medication, I am pretty certain I will struggle in the same ways in any job I get, no matter how hard I try. Even now, I need to wait for my brain to feel it’s the “right time” to write cover letters and apply for jobs. Otherwise, it feels like that course of action is completely blocked off and I haven’t yet found a modality that gets me to being able to do more applications quicker. I don’t think this is Demand Avoidance, but more that my brain just isn’t in the right place to be able to talk about myself and find the right words to put on paper and the page is hard to stare at and think of words, if that makes sense. Even when I have a basic template.
It just feels like my only option is to try stimulants again while I have the non-stimulants on board, but I am not even confident the Strattera would be enough to handle the increase in anxiety, because it was a lot. Like the valve broke and the anxiety got all over the floor in my brain and started flooding, figuratively. So, I am just a little stressed to try that again, but I feel it would be good to know if the three days were enough to be sure of an ADHD brain because then maybe I could not stress about trying a different stimulant so much and being worried I would zone out looking at the hairs on my arm for hours.

I have seen most of the Superman movies. But all those movies do the same thing. A villain comes who overpowers Superman and then at the end Superman overpowers them and wins and its over.
But where are his ideals. Remember the Captain America movies, they show how strong Steve Rogers has become after taking the Super Soldier Serum and his fighting skills but they also showed Steve Rogers is not just his physical strength but his ideals too.
Even before he got his power, he would always stand up even if he was outclassed. He choose to make the sacrificial play in at the end of the first movie. He did not fight back at the end of the second movie against Bucky, he decided to protect his friend in the third movie and he understood he has hurt Tony, so he gives up on the shield and even writes a letter to Tony. And lastly when he found himself against a whole army, he did not give up and decided to face them.
But in case of Superman the only movies that showed his strong ideals were Man of Steel and Superman 2006. Yes, Superman 2006, even though the whole movie was not great, he took an entire kryptonite island and threw it in space even though he knew he might not survive that and Man of Steel has so many instances of that especially that last part where he has to choose between Zod and a family.
But after that he just fell off in the next movies.
I just want a movie where there is a perfect balance of Superman's Power and his ideals like Captain America.
Imagine if a movie has a dialogue like-"For the first time in his life he had to struggle against an opponent, for the first time in his life Superman doubted his strength in battle as Doomsday was overpowering him but he did not falter. He knew he was the only thing that was between this monster and his world, he is only hope this world has against this monster and he cannot give up as this is the point he has to push past his limits, he has to win no matter what and he cannot afford to lose" something like that and he gets up.
Just like how they write Batman's stories. Because mental strength is not a Batman exclusive thing but it is what is inside all the heros, which makes them heros in the first place.
That is the kind of movie I want to see. A movie where we get to see that its not his strength and his heritage that makes him superman but his ideals.

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is still u/Parking_Mission_7544. She posted in AITAH
I fixed spelling mistakes in the title for readability. I also added names instead of letters and paragraphs.

A reminder that this sub has a 7 day waiting period. The newest update has not been posted here before, but you may have seen it on a different sub.

Previous BORUs here and here. New Update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: mention of miscarriage
Mood Spoiler:>! looking up!<
Original Post: March 28, 2024
I (32F) have a daughter (9 going on 10F) with my ex-husband (36M). We divorced when she was 3. He then remarried with one of his co-workers (let's call her Melissa). They also have a son together (6M).
My daughter's birthday is in 9 days. I reviewed with my daughter things for her birthday, like the theme, the cake... Here's the issue: when we were going through the guest list, she looked anxious. When I asked what's wrong, she told me that she did not want to invite Melissa. I asked her why and she explained to me that Melissa would make weird comments sometimes around other parents/ to her .
For example, when Melissa would pick her up from her dance lesson, she would hear Melissa say things like "That is why I prefer boys, girls only like pink and tutu", calling her a brat, and other things. She also told me that every time her brother (Melissa and ex-h's kid) would do something to annoy her (like breaking her toys, calling her names, starting a fight), Melissa would always defend her son and punish her every time and say "boys will be boys" or some crap like that .
I asked about her dad and she said that she does that when her dad is around, but he is always in his office so it is like a free pass. Later on, I called her father. He asked for the date of the party (her real birthday is a school day). I told him that his wife was not invited and I think I was in loudspeaker because I heard Melissa screaming at me saying that I "destroy her family"
So, AITA for not inviting my ex-husband's wife to my daughter's birthday party because she told me not to?
Okay, just for precision:

• My daughter's half-sibling is 4 years younger than her; she was born in April, while he was born in March the next year after the divorce (he just turned 6).
• BUT it is true that we divorced because my ex-husband told me he was in love with M and "wanted to confess."
• We have a 50/50 custody.
• He has a busy job.
• My daughter explained me she never told me/ her dad that she was scared of ruining her father's marriage because he seems happy

There is not consensus bot on AITAH, but the majority of comments were NTA
Update Post: April 8, 2024 (10 days later)
So, a lot happened. First of all, I met my ex for lunch alone. I explained everything that my daughter told me. At first, he was defensive and told me that she was overreacting. I replied that even if that were true, his relationship with his daughter is at risk. I gave him a choice: fix the problem or I go back to court for more custody.
Friday, when I came to pick my daughter up at his house, I talked to her in private, and she told me that her dad spent time with her, picking her up from school/activities, helping her with homework, and playing with her. Melissa then told me that she accepts not going to the party but still wanted to see my daughter blow out her candles on her actual birthday. She baked a cake and asked her (my dautghter) if she was okay with doing it before leaving. She seemed okay with it, so we gathered around the cake (my daughter, Melissa, ex, and half-brother). When my daughter blew out the candles, M junior decided that the good thing to do would be to smash my daughter's face into the cake....(To be honest, if this was not a kid, I would be in prison.) He and Melissa burst out laughing while my daughter was crying.
Melissa then told her that she was being dramatic and "emotional." We (Melissa, ex, and I) got into an argument, and to my surprise, my ex-husband was on my side, saying that it was not okay. While arguing, I noticed that my daughter was not there, so I left to check on her. I helped her clean herself, and then we left for my house. I tried to cheer her up, but she was still a little sad. The party went well, her dad came, and during the party, I told him that I want more custody because of his wife's bullying. So yeah, I will update you if anything happens.
Precision 2 :
Some of you asked questions about my daughter's reaction. My daughter is a really shy and silent kid. Except for me and her dad, she does not talk unless spoken to or if you bring up a subject that she likes. When something upsets her, she just stays silent and cries. It's always been like that and it is what she did. Started crying, went to her room.
Relevant Comments:
To be honest, I don't entirely blame the kid. He probably picked up that attitude from his mom
Commenter: If you are going to court for more custody time, ask for increased child support as well.

OOP: I don't receive child support. I earn more than him
(OOP to a different commenter) I live in California, so in a 50/50 custody arrangement, the parent with the higher income pays child support (which means I pay) At least this is what I got

Commenter: What did your ex-husband say when you wanted more custody? I mean, does he not see his new wife as terrorizing his daughter?

OOP: It went approximately like this:
Me: I want more custody.
Ex: What? I know she was mean, but you can't do this to me.
Me: Really? Your wife is bullying our daughter. I've told you before, you did not keep the promise, so I'm going for more custody.
BLAH BLAH BLAH...

Does he recognize that Melissa is mistreating his daughter?
He apologized for their behavior and told me he would fix it. BUT he asked me not to fight for more custody
Update Post 2: April 19, 2024 (11 days from previous post)
Update 2: Hi! I saw that many of you asked for an update.
*My daughter: After the cake "incident," I asked her questions about whether M/half brother had ever laid hands on her, played such "pranks" on her, or behaved inappropriately (we never know). She told me no, explaining that the fights with her half-brother are mainly him annoying her. I also inquired if anyone else from both sides had made her uncomfortable in any way, and again, she said no. Since my last post, she has been seeing her psychiatrist twice a week. The bullying apparently started about two months ago. I don't know if it is related (although I am sure it is), but it was also around that time that Melissa had a miscarriage.
*Me: To be honest, I feel like a terrible mom. I did not see the signs. I am trying to fix everything.
*My ex-husband: GUESS WHO SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR AT 10 PM???? He called me last night, was outside, and said he wanted to talk. I let him in, and because I don't trust him (I really don't), I recorded the whole conversation (with his consent).
He told me that since the party, he's been thinking about what to do and yesterday told Melissa about my desire for more custody. From what he told me, she said that it was not such a bad idea because my daughter was not fitting into their family dynamic. They started to argue, and at one point, she just started cursing me and my daughter. Apparently, I am a sneaky B-word who is bitter about her affair with my ex-husband. She described my daughter as a spoiled, bratty princess who needs correction. And now, he has to choose between which woman he loves the most.
This is where he had the click! He left the house, drove around, and then showed up at my place. He is going to stay at a friend's house to think about his relationship with Melissa. Our daughter will stay with me during the week and visit him on the weekends. I told him that if he's going to get back together with Melissa, I am continuing with full custody. But if they divorce, it will depends of his custody for his son because I don't want him around my daughter. He agreed.
That's it. Thank you for all the support.
Relevant Comment:
Commenter: I suspect Melissa miscarried a girl and that's what she's turned poisonous against your daughter and you. Grief and guilt. You did a job thing keeping your daughter away.

OOP: I just know that she was between 3 and 4 months pregnant.

*****New Update Post: May 9, 2024 (3 weeks later, 1+ months from OG post)****\*
Final Update : Hi again! y'all ask for an update. Here you go :
*My ex-h : Earlier in the week, he asked if he could come by,saying that he had something important to tell me. He told me that last friday Melissa junior got into trouble at school for cursing at a girl.
Long story short : he confessed his fellings to a girl (the niece of the director), she rejected him. Apparently, he started shouting insults at her that no 6-year-old should know, let alone say. Because of this incident and our daughter's situation he decided to divorce Melissa. She would be served the divorce papers next week. He is also going to pay Melissa in therapy because he still wants her to have a relationship with their son.
We (ex-h,daughter,me) will also be attending family therapy together.
*My daughter : She is happier now, and that's the only thing that matters to me. For the summer I am going to take her to Japan to see my side of the family !
Brooke, if one day you read this, mama loves you more than anything. I am sorry for seeing everything earlier. I love you!!!!!!!
Precision 3 :

1. I am still going for full custody of my daughter with visitation the week-end. If and only IF Melissa junior's behaviour improves, I will let him and my daughter interact.
2. He (my ex) is going for full custody of his son.
3. I still don't trust my ex-h. I am keeping my eyes on him, and how he will raise my daughter. I don't know why people would assume that I am going to nice with him. Am I polite? Yes. Nice? No.
4. I am not going for more custody because he wants his son. Because he recently got a promotion so works more. He doesn't have the time to take care of our daughter on the week days so I take her.
5. Someone asked me our races (for some reason??). I am Japanese, like my ex-h, and Melissa is white (French).
6. Like I said I am Japanese but was raised in France so French is my first language, than Japanese, than English (sorry for any mistakes)

Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Just a question , when it was 50/50 why not your time it’s a bday party for your side and on his time he can do that . I know it’s harder for thanksgiving and Xmas just the schedule can be worked out.

OOP: We decided to host the party at my place, inviting both sides of the family. I live in a house, whereas he and Melissa lived in an apartment. If she is with me at Thanksgiving, she would be with him at Christmas, and vice versa.

Commenter: v glad that op's daughter is now safe, but ngl i am worried about op's ex's son - it's honestly kind of disturbing that he knows those insults & i'm concerned about what m (or mb others in his life) are teaching him. hopefully op's ex gets full custody and things improve.

OOP: Yeah... I don't know what he heard his mother say, but a 6-year-old saying that a girl is being "heartless b-word" or a "W word" is VERY disturbing

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/RjE3PTc
There's something special about this battle from the very beginning, with how the announcer is doing these hushed whispers with this ominous music playing.
"Look alive, crème de la Kremlin's arriving! Try to serve Ivan; no surviving!" Ivan saying "look alive" as we get a close-up shot of his face is an attention-grabbing opener. The wordsmithing here with crème de la Kremlin and serve Ivan/surviving is magical. The background looks gorgeous too, great use of colors. "You're a land rover; I'm a land expander! Here to hand you your first loss, Alexander!" Well this is simultaneously a top-tier boast and diss; Alexander's empire fell apart when he died while Ivan's conquerings remained a part of Russia, so he's already making a strong case for being better at the thing Alexander's famous for. "I'll school you like Aristotle; smack you harder than you hit that bottle!" This is fine. A reference to the fact that Aristotle taught Alexander and a diss against Alexander for being a drunk. These aren't particularly powerful lines, but they're functional. I do love the way Ivan's eyes wander to the rhythm when he says 'hit that bottle'. "You're nothing but an overrated lush; I'll crush ya! I'm the first Tsar of all of Russia!" Interesting tidbit that does make Ivan the Terrible seem like a much more significant historical figure than he otherwise would have if you didn't know that. Getting all the guys from the Russian battle in the background is a fun touch, even if the dancer dude does not feel like he remotely belongs up there with the rest of those guys. "You're an asshole with an anastole! I'm heaven-sent, divine and holy!" The first line is quite mediocre, and the second line is mostly just serving to build up to the next line. "So don't even try to approach the God, or you'll get a huge sack like Novgorod!" God fucking damn, this is easily in my top ten closing lines. Not only is it a clever line and a gloriously epic boast, but the line delivery. His voice is so low and monstrous-sounding, especially with how they seem to have layered extra copies of the line recording on top of it. And the visual with all the Ivans on-screen, and the versions on the right and left turning to the camera join the one in the center in delivering this wham line... UNF. I love this!
"Hey fella, swell diss." Gotta cut in early here to acknowledge how funny and iconic this reaction is. "But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed." This line speaks for itself, it's got some of the best wordplay ERB has ever crafted. "Stepping up's foolish as well as useless, little Vasilyevich! Let me spell out the list!" Pretty cool wordsmithing here, nice setup to something bigger though I don't think what follows quite lives up. "I brought foes to their knees in Phonecia! Breezed through Gaza to Giza! Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq, and Pakistan in my expansion pack!" This comes pretty close to just being a straightforward history lesson, there's not a ton of cleverness here. The expansion pack joke is a little corny. There's a little bit of wordplay going on with bits like knees/Phonecia and Gaza/Giza. Flow's weaker than in the rest of his verse too. The visual with the map is a nice touch. "While you died in the middle of a game of chess; you got vodka bars: flavorless!" Some competent disses here. I really like the visual of the chess board: he even knocks over a King, which is presumably supposed to represent him defeating Ivan. I think the way Alexander paints Ivan as a disconnected figure who's just playing games whilst Alexander is actually out conquering in-person is a nice way to preserve his credibility after that land expander bit from Ivan. "And what I'm about to spit will be the craziest, so go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed!" Nothing too great here, although I do like the dismissiveness inherent in Alexander ordering Ivan to make him a drink. "Kudos! Greek for the glory I got from winning every single war that I fought." Nothing much to say, this is a good boast, it checks out. "So this will be straightforward: I'll take up this sword that I brought, and slice you in half like the Gordian knot." This isn't the most substantive way of saying he's better than Ivan, but referencing the Gordian knot legend is something. "And I'll soar to the top, like the eagle whose feather I would sport in the helmet I wore, as I swatted my many enemies; shattered them like a porcelain pot, and they'd be praying for the torture to stop!" Okay, now Alexander is just witlessly rambling. This is easily the low point of his verse. "But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring until their vocal cords were torn up and shot!" Again, he's just rambling, but I will say that his flow and line delivery starts being so awesome here that I can give it a pass. I also like how the way the music stopped after he yelled "stop!" last line before dropping into this one. "And I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop on my horsey, and trot! I win, Ivan; I vanquish! I'm an immortal; you're not!" He's still mostly just rambling about how great he is without being clever about it, but again, he sounds so awesome here that it works. And the Ivan/I vanquish is good wordplay and a nice parallel to the serve Ivan/surviving bit, so it does have that much going for it in terms of substance. Also the visuals cutting back to Ivan pouring a drink in the creepiest possible manner are fan-fucking-tastic.
Ivan concedes defeat, having actually prepared Alexander a drink. You'd think a little interim bit like this would hurt the battle in repeat viewings/listens, but I enjoy it every time. Zach Sherwin's line delivery of "I WEEP, it's all so EEEEAAAASY!!!" is hilarious. Love the way Ivan comes poking out of the shadows all rat-like as he asks what's wrong. I also dig the way Alexander's facial expression changes when he says 'queasy' and he falls down and his head moving out of the shot gives way to Ivan standing behind him celebrating and it's just so GOOD. This battle is so much fun! The "HA!!! You've been poisoned!" is fun, as is Zach Sherwin's deliberately bad acting with his final words. Ivan declares that he is Terrible and that there's no Great who could defeat this Russian, but a mysterious shadow materializes and quietly suggests a flute-busting Prussian might manage it.
What the FUCK. The flute solo! The chanting of "Old Fritz!" The bird's eye camera angle that Lloid looks up at as the emblem of what is probably his house or country or some other organization related to him is on the floor! That dapper-ass outfit! The little pose he strikes as his title card appears! This is without a doubt the greatest entrance any contestant has ever had in ERB to this day. This new music track kicks ass too. "Out the gate, first servant of state! Oblique attack tactics, ain't exactly straight!" As if he wasn't cool enough already, the king is a queen! Good use of consonance too. Also apparently this is referencing a famous tactic for battle that Frederick used. I looked up 'first servant of state prussia' and was informed that Frederick pursued a policy of religious tolerance and abolished torture immediately when he came to power. What an absolute chad. I wish he brought that up here; at best he vaguely alludes to it. "I've got creative talents and battle malice; hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace!" These lines aren't substantive, but the line delivery is a ton of fun. And the visuals with him jabbing his cane and sipping from a cup are immaculate. "Russia's fucked up but no wonder why; with your tundras and taigas and bears oh my!" Great flow, the visuals are absolutely top tier. The line itself is competent, definitely getting carried by the presentation, but the tigers/taigas swapout is good. "I would pay a guy to tear out my eyes if I had to look at your troll face every night!" Man... why can't mediocre lines in all of the battles get such good line deliveries? Lloid is selling the absolute fuck out of this weaksauce diss and making it work. "Now, bring me my chair! I'm weary from tearing you a new derrière from here to Red Square!" Wait a minute, is that... chair... wear... tear... derrière... square... IT IS!!! IT'S A 5X RHYME COMBO!!! "Fought a Seven Years' War, I ain't scared of a Tsar! 'Cause beating you only took me twelve bars!" A truly fabulous boast and iconic verse closer.
These interims continue the trend of being hilarious by having Frederick die in his chair without the need for Ivan's intervention, which is a reference to how he actually died! Fancy that. I do think this one doesn't quite stand up to repeat encounters the way the first intermission did; the line about saving money and the little song Ivan sings are a bit drab to sit through again and again, but hey, they were funny the first time and it's still a fun performance from Peter. Pompey comes in to seemingly start rapping, but immediately gets decapitated by Catherine the Great. Poor guy. I would have liked for this to be a five-way battle and to have gotten a verse from Pompey first, but ah well.
"Macedonians, Prussians, and Romans; those aren't worthy opponents. It takes a Russian to take down a Russian. I'm Cat; I'm a cat; you're a rodent!" This is a pretty good opener, except for the fact that she's singing. Introducing singing into these rap battles is always a serious momentum-killer. She's got a great costume, though. "How are you the head of our state when the state of your head was such a crazy one? Such sick shit going through your brain that you stuck a spike through your own son!" Good wordplay in that first line, great visuals with these dancers up to chicanery in the background. "You're unbalanced like I unbalanced the European powers with the wars I waged! I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!" That first line feels a little forced, competent boast in the second line. "I'm the boss bitch that you just can't meddle with! This whole battle's like Alaska 'cause I settled it!" Nice closer.
Ivan briefly interjects as he tries and fails to seduce Catherine with a horse. Peter continues giving the best performance of his career, though I can't help but wish we got a little more here. Feels weird that this is the last we see Ivan onscreen. Would've been nice to at least see an upset reaction to his ploy failing.
Catherine proceeds to inform Ivan that this rumor about her sexual proclivities is false: "That horse story is a pile of shit, though I do keep 'em chomping at the bit." There's three different layers to 'chomping at the bit' going on here, and that's cool. "But you're never gonna get it, nyet! Couldn't spin in my chamber of this were Russian roulette." This is pretty funny, and I think it's for sure her best line. The little interjection of 'nyet' is great. "I'm picking up where Peter the Great left off! Bringing sexy back to House Romanov!" Not much to say here. Kind of filler. "So don't call me Queen, I'm far more great! Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!" This is literally a killer closing line; she's referencing how Ivan died in the middle of a game of chess, as Alexander said, and years later I'm only just getting that now.
So all of these verses have considerable flaws, I think. Ivan's is too short, for as much screentime as he gets he doesn't get much in terms of actual rapping. We could have at least used a few more lines in his first verse. There's a lot of Alexander the Great's verse that is just him droning on about how great he is without actually having much substance or cleverness to what he's saying. It's his godlike FLOW that is carrying him through a lot of this. And that's a legitimate factor to consider in his performance and it does make his verse great to listen to, but I wish there were more meat there underneath Sherwin's kickass performance. Frederick the Great is the most entertaining part of the battle(saying a LOT when Ivan the Terrible is present) and his lines are probably the most consistently good, but none of them are great, y'know? He could have used a killer burn or two in there, his diss game wasn't great. And Catherine the Great... well, she sang for both of her verses. I hate it when rappers sing, it kills the energy, and when going back to listen to this battle(which is very often!) I usually stop once her verse starts. She's got some good lines, they're decent verses on paper, and her actress is obviously a good singer, but I just do not want to listen to a solid minute of someone singing in a rap battle.
And really, having so much of this battle be skippable to me is reason enough to justify putting it in A Tier rather than S. I certainly intended to put it in A Tier for a long time. But... even if I feel Catherine's verse ends up being a drag, and even if the verses that come before have some flaws that might keep them from being S Tier on their own... it's all just so fun. Peter and Lloid and Zach are all at their best, and I genuinely do think Ivan is the best character Peter ever played. I love the performances, and the visuals, and the music(mostly), and the structure of having all these Greats dying off to the Terrible. This has got to be in the top five rap battles in terms of which ones I go back to the most; probably exactly number five. And if that isn't worthy of S Tier, then there's only gonna be four S Tiers on this list, and that seems like too few. Bottom of S Tier.
Ivan = Frederick>Alexander>Catherine. Maybe a little controversial, but I do think that you could make a valid and substantive case for any one of these rappers being the winner.

Original post:

1. https://nga.178.com/read.php?tid=40196701 : Lynchpin
2. https://nga.178.com/read.php?tid=40003975 : CN puzzle solving thread

Previous posts about PV4:

1. https://www.reddit.com/arknights/comments/1ceyabe/concept_pv4_has_puzzles/ : stand by her side
2. https://www.reddit.com/arknights/comments/1ct4sva/concept_pv4_puzzle_reveals_a_huge_news/ : stand by her side puzzle solved, several tapes and letters were sent to those who firstly solved the puzzle, revealed Doc / Oracle's recording, and a puzzle which solved to be a sentence: 警惕你自己，源石目标已更改，相信Ama-10 [Translation: Be vigilant of yourself, the Originium purpose has been changed, trust Ama-10 (Kal'tsit)]
3. https://www.reddit.com/arknights/comments/1ct5are/concept_pv4_puzzle_tape_translation/ : full tape recording translation by GPT4

Yesterday, CN community find the second puzzle Lynchpin when they put letters from Hypergryph together.
That's a CODE 49 code, after decoding the content is: OVERCONTACT BINARY
After processing the picture, we can find a full paragraph

Lynchpin Lynchpin of Substantia grisea Never forget where you are going. Subspace may have been conquered, an off-course mind may be your only enemy in a voyage, yet it is still a great one. The term "lynchpin" commonly refers to a widely adopted therapy that utilizes a noninvasive mind-implanting technique to sharpen an individual's spatial perception and memory capacity. Most recipients, or "lynchpined", are subspace navigators onboard any SST-capable vessels as such enhancement are vital to them in carrying out their duties. In summary, "Lynchpin" takes effect by imprinting an individual's mind pattern in a critical debate process and periodicallly restimulating the same pattern in that individual's metaconsciousness layer. For navigators, this will almost always ensure a spontaneous, clear, and logical recongnition of a specific travel destination, otherwise proved difficult under prolonged subspace exposure.!<

And, a website>! https://ak.hypergryph.com/lynchpin ! In first puzzle when you get the right code to enter /standbyherside, you will get a picture of a tape with following words:
BE AWARE OF LYNCHPIN
For further infos, please kindly go to the original post to see.

I really just wanted to get this story off my chest. I sought out help with some issues before on another account and but ended up deleting it because some people decided that they were green lit to brigade me with rather unpleasant messages. Sometimes I feel truly alone now.
I guess a bit of back story to start out.
I lived in a decent rental property out in a rural area in the SE U.S. I am a male, mid-30s at the time, divorced, decent job and all around not a bad life all things considered. I had family nearby and friends who seemed to care, and there was a woman in my life that seemed like we were a pretty good match for each other. This was back in 2019 right before the big covid epidemic really ramped up.
I had no idea it was all about to end.
At 3am on a thursday night, I was awoken to a loud knock on my door. I put on some slippers and looked out the peephole. There was a police officer standing there. I hadn't done anything illegal and had no reason to fear a police run in. My first thought was that something was wrong with someone in my family. I opened the door and he asked my name. I confirmed and he grabbed hold of me and yanked me out. More officers from around the corner pinned me to the wall and cuffed me. I asked what was happening and received a punch to the head for my troubles.
I was rather stunned and horribly confused. They drug me out to where they had parked, just out of the line of sight for me to see from my door. I was tossed into the car and eventually one of them got in and finally answered my question of what was going on.
I had been charged with rape and child molestation. He didn't tell me who charged me or when, just that there was a warrant out for my arrest.
I was hauled into the county jail at that point. I had never been arrested in my life and I was terrified. I didn't have my phone and couldn't remember anyone's contact information at the time. I was processed, given my mugshot, and put in a small holding cell.
Some time later I got my first appearance and was told my charges, no bail, I was warned not to talk to the judge or I'd regret it. Just answer his questions and sit down when told,
Then they moved me to a very small padded room. There were 4 or 5 police officers I think that moved me. It's a bit hard to remember this part in detail, but I remember enough. They handed me this small cloth vest and told me to strip naked. I had no idea what they were doing and I got really scared. I didn't get asked again. They held me down, ripped my clothes off, and beat the hell out of me right there. They shoved my face against a vent in the floor that served as the toilet. One of them remarked that was where a piece of shit like me belonged and they laughed. They spit on me and left, leaving that small vest laying next to me on the cold rubber floor.
For four weeks, I curled up under that vest in the corner of the room. It was so cold and I didn't dare let that spot cool down. The pain was terrible and the nurses that had to check on me didn't care what I'd went though. I didn't have back problems before that, but now I do. Some days I wake up now and can hardly walk.
I was finally moved to general population. I figured things were finally getting better. I was sure that whatever had started happening would finally be over. I got a message from my family and was able to contact them. I reassured them I had no idea what was happening or who had filed charges or anything. I was as confused as everyone else would be.
I tried telling my mom about the abuse. An officer came back there, told me point blank that if I didn't want to get it again and worse next time, I'd better shut my mouth. It was a threat I'd rather not test out. I kept my mouth shut at that point. I learned that all calls and mail was monitored by the jail.
I asked my mom to get in touch with the woman I'd been seeing to explain things. She's already messaged my mom and told her that she wanted nothing to do with me. I guess all things considered I ended up better off, but it hurt at the time.
A few weeks later, a public attorney had been appointed and came to see me. I was finally about to find out who was behind all this. I figured this was some sort of great big misunderstanding and I'd be home soon.
It was the neighbors daughter. Someone I barely knew and only spoke to in passing. I never touched this girl and I didn't want to either. She had told her parents that I had forced open her window and raped her in the early morning hours and threatened to kill her if she told anyone.
I was 6'1 and 230lbs of pudding. I am not stealthy. There was no way I could quietly force open a trailer window and have my way with someone and keep it quiet. regardless though, that's what she claimed to her parents, and then to the police.
Why would that poor precious child lie? Very good question and I never found out the full story. I can speculate a few things on it. They did collect DNA evidence though and it had been sent off for testing.
Something to keep in mind. If you ever been in county lockup for any length of time, you know that nearly everyone claims innocence, and they don't believe other people are. I was locked into a dorm room with actual convicted child sexual predators and actual rapists. Some of whom were violent and had nothing to lose.
It wasn't pleasant and it wasn't fun. I was attacked on occasion simply for my charges.
And remember I said this was pre-covid? Yeah. They shut down the court system. They wouldn't be hearing my case for quite some time and the judge was a real hard ass that refused to set my bond. I spent the next 3 years in county lockup charged with a crime I did not commit.
3 years of my life gone.
I ended up firing my public defender and hiring a real defense attorney. the P.D. told me "things look pretty grim. If you just plea out, you can be home in about 10 years." Hell no. I borrowed the money from my family and got a real attorney. After he reviewed the case he was pretty positive I'd go home, and for a few good reasons.
Let's go to trial.
It finally happened. I got a trial date and I was ready to go. They came at me with another plea deal. The prosecutor said that I had wasted the states valuable time and they offered me 25 yrs in prison or I could lose and never see freedom. I told him to go pound sand.
At the trial, the alleged victim could not keep her story straight. She constantly backtracked and fudged the details of things like "What was he wearing?" or "Things he had said to you before." She also claimed to be a virgin and I took that from her.
I mentioned some time ago that they collected DNA. It was male, but it wasn't mine. Apparently the prosecution sat on those results until it was nearly time for trial. They knew I was innocent and let me sit in jail to entertain their plea deals.
I don't know what really happened that night, I suspect that she had sex with some guy she was seeing, They may have got into a fight and she cried rape, and then changed her mind after she'd started. She needed a rapist though and she just randomly chose a guy nearby that she didn't care anything about. Maybe she got in too deep and knew that if she backtracked she'd be in trouble.
I went home that day, found not guilty of all charges. I was thankful to be back with my family. Many of my so called friends abandoned me though. A few stuck around and those are the good ones.
My facebook arrest post had my full name and address and plenty of people wished for my death. "I'd be glad to put a bullet in him if they'd just let me" or "I know that guy. I knew there was something wrong with him the moment I met him."
I lost my home and a few things had been stolen before my family could secure it. Nothing irreplaceable I guess, but it still feels bad to of lost a few things I cared about.
In addition to severe back pain, the mental damage I got from this has been crippling. No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to get my life together. I am absolutely terrified of women as I know what just a few errant words can do. I don't think I could ever form another meaningful relationship because of those fears. I'm scared of the police as well. I fear they'll come after me again just like they did that night. They could kill me and get away with it these days.
Mostly I stay inside my moms house. Some days I'm ok. Others, I'm just so scared to go out. This isn't really a good life anymore. Counseling is somewhat helping at least.
There's no lawsuit that can be filed. The state doesn't have to answer for anything because they followed the letter of the law and the pandemic gave them emergency powers to do certain things. There's no lawsuit against the girl either as she never said it was made up. There's laws to protect her.
My life was ruined despite all charges being dropped. I honestly am not sure I can recover from this nightmare. There's plenty of details I left out, but I've talked enough as it is. I'm tired now. I expect people to call me a rapist or chomo anyways, innocent or not. For some, an accusation is enough proof for them.

How to Get Off the Waitlist and Negotiate Better Financial Aid for Medical School

Written and edited by the MCAT Self Prep Tutoring Team
Home of the Free MCAT Prep Course
It’s that time of year again! Every April, medical school applicants begin the last phase of the medical school journey: negotiations.

• April 15th, MD applicants with multiple acceptances must narrow their acceptances down to 3 final schools.
• April 30th, applicants with multiple acceptances may now only hold 1 acceptance.

While you can still maintain all of your positions on any waitlists, this narrowing process allows for mobility. New spots become available for individuals to move off of waitlists, additional financial aid frees up to be redistributed, and added movement creates the perfect opportunity for negotiation. These tips helped me turn my dream school (UCLA) from one of my most expensive initial offers into the cheapest option overall! Through our admissions consulting program, these strategies have also helped my students get into top 10 medical schools and save hundreds of thousands of dollars in financial aid. I hope they can help you too!
Whether you are hoping to turn a waitlist into an acceptance or get more financial aid, you must understand that asking never hurts. The worst thing that can happen in negotiation is that the medical school says…. no. If the worst-case scenario plays out, you’ll simply be back in the exact position from where you started. With a huge potential payoff and minimal downside, realize that advocating for yourself at this stage may be the most critical piece in applying to medical school. This realization empowered me to be bold in three key ways.

1. Communicating interest/intent (most important)

To achieve success in negotiation, medical schools need to know that they will gain something from the process. Your most powerful bargaining tool is your willingness to attend their institution. Understand that medical schools care deeply about their retention rate (the percentage of admitted students who ultimately choose to attend). Even the schools with the highest retention rates only retain about 70% of their admitted students. So if a school can guarantee that they will keep you, this dramatically improves your chances of a successful negotiation.
When negotiating, you can extend promises to various schools depending on your interest level. The strongest commitment you can send a school is “____ is my top choice for medical school and I will attend ____ if admitted, no matter the cost or other circumstances.” This commitment is the best thing you can say to increase your odds of turning a waitlist into an acceptance. The next most powerful thing you could say would be, “This is my top choice and I will attend ____ if admitted, barring any significant financial barriers.” This allows for some wiggle room if you ultimately decide not to attend. The least strong statement you can make is, “____ is one of my top choices for medical school and I am extremely interested in matriculating, barring any significant financial restraints, etc.”
This final statement does not guarantee anything to the given school other than your interest. However, if you make these statements, you must follow through with your promises. While you want to make the school believe that you will attend, you do not want to lie. Lying in negotiations is not only wrong, but it can ultimately hurt your chances if discovered. You must follow through with any clear commitments that you make. Remember, the more a school is convinced of your commitment to attend, the more favorably they will treat you.

2. Updates

Updates are another essential part of negotiation. They communicate your interest in the school and potentially sway a committee to extend you an acceptance or more aid. Yet, updates are not as important as expressing interest. For the most part, if a school interviewed you, that means that they believe you could succeed at their institution academically.
Understand that once you make it past the interview, your job is to show how you would contribute to the class, not to prove that you are competent. New publications, significant awards, and updated hours help to establish a pattern of excellence but try to frame these updates into how they would benefit your classmates rather than how impressive they make you seem.

3. Negotiating with multiple medical school offers

Whether hoping to move off of a waitlist or more financial aid, you should always use competing offers as bargaining tools. If you are hoping to get off of a waitlist, use other offers as a way to express your commitment to your top choice waitlists. Tell them that you would instead attend school ____ than your current offer. If you can promise them that you will attend, this will further increase your commitment in their eyes. Other offers can also help negotiate financial aid with competing schools. Be careful. Playing schools off each other can be extremely delicate as you still want to establish that you are deeply committed to attending the school of interest.
However, you’ll need to play hard to get. If you tell them directly that you will happily attend with their current financial package, there will be no need for them to increase your aid. Not all schools are open to negotiation, but if they are willing, I would highly recommend this approach. For example, you could express that attending a different school would allow for a lower cost, better location, proximity to family, any factor that could influence your decision. Ultimately, simply asking could save you thousands of dollars.
Here is a sample letter:

This opening letter establishes intent, using the second-highest form of commitment: commitment to enroll if there are not significant financial barriers. I also told the school that they were my #1 choice. Here, I promise to attend their school if they offer a specific amount.

Bonus Tip: Playing hard to get

Remember that sometimes you need to start with a higher request in negotiations than what you expect. In negotiation, the receiving end may counter-offer with a lower amount until you arrive at a happy medium. This is exactly what happened to me! The school I negotiated with came back and offered me more aid, but an amount that was significantly less than I had hoped. In response, I decided to play hard-to-get. While I do not always recommend this choice, there was nothing to lose at this point.
Again, I cannot stress enough the maintaining your commitment to attend the school. Even while playing hard to get. Your commitment to attend the school is your most powerful bargaining chip, do not spend it lightly.

After sending this letter, the school I was negotiating with came back with the offer that I was hoping. Now, I will never know whether this letter was the ultimate reason for my successful negotiation, but similar tactics have worked for other students as well. I hope these tips help get you off waitlists and negotiate for better financial aid. Medical school is incredibly expensive, but remember that this investment will be worth it regardless of cost.
If you need personalized help in applying for medical school, please reach out for a FREE consultation. We also offer an application advising course and one-on-one consulting sessions for those needing a personalized advantage. Just starting out, boost your MCAT score with our 100% FREE eCourse that covers everything you need to know for the MCAT. I used this free course and it helped me get a perfect 528 score on the MCAT!
Warm regards,
Theo
Theo scored a perfect score (528) on the MCAT and has been accepted at Harvard, UPenn, Columbia, UCLA, and other top 10 medical schools across the country.

Hey everyone, I just could not go without writing something for you all tonight. I am working on the article I have promised you. I plan on working hard on it over the weekend so I can get it out as soon as possible. I am still gathering some data and trying to keep with the demands of life, but its a priority. I know alot of you are curious where I stand on the topic of space weather affecting earth, our magnetic field, the future, and what I see. Be patient with me.
In the mean time. I wrote this for you. It is a personal open letter written to each of you here, and the ones still yet to come. I want to tell you why I am here and why I started this.
I am touched at how space weather has impacted all of you and share your sentiments. When I go at a topic, I go all in. I consume everything I can. I gobble up information and want more. This topic just happens to be an unconquered frontier. I knew next to nothing about space weather 3 years ago. I have always been intellectual and have a broad knowledge of many things. I never expected myself to fall in love with space again. I figured if I was going to do so, it would have happened a long time ago. I certainly missed my window to make a career out of it the conventional way, but passion is blind.
I am not quite sure what it is. The mystery, the power, the uncertain and undefined nature, and most of all the majesty. Friday night was one of the most majestic experiences of my life. It felt like a psychedelic themed world in a video game. It is just the latest in a long list of celestial events that burned a deep impression in my soul. Now, even though I was not trying to find a specialty in space weather, I was always observing. I would like to recall just one experience for you.
The only thing more finicky to predict on our solar system than the sun is the behavior comets. There may be some examples I am not thinking of, but Carl Sagan once said that if you are going to bet on horses or comets, to choose the horses. While there are comets we know which are called periodic because we have calculated and confirmed their orbit, and we know they visit us every so often depending on the comet. Some comets just pass through. Our cometary data base is a tiny fraction of what is out there. So every now and then a big beautiful comet comes out of nowhere and puts on a display for the ages. The so called Great Comet.
I was born in 86' which was the same year as Halleys Comets last visit, which visits us every 75 ish years. As a result, I obviously did not see it. I was confused as a young boy in 1996 or 97 when people began to talk about a new comet that would be making an appearance called Hale Bopp. I have a cousin named Haley, and my dad would call her Hale Bopp comet. Of course all of these comets have numerals, but we will use their common term. My young mind did not know how comets were named, and I was trying to get a read on why they liked using Hale or Haley so much. I had never seen a comet before, but I was told I would.
My dad recognized that there was a passion there. Something about a comet captivated me. The entire idea of it. He built me a small little observatory in our yard with wood and plexiglass. He just used what we had lying around and did not want to use real glass. He did not want to use anything and just leave it open, but me dying to have the whole experience really wanted a see thru panel to observe the comet from. As you probably know, plexiglass is not the most transparent. At all. It is the thought that counts, he was doing his best to accomodate me. He took the cover off at my request and there it was, my first observatory and first event.
I do not remember when exactly Hale Bopp showed up. I do not recall if I saw it at the earliest possible time. Those details are blank in my memory. However, the blank space completely eclipsed by the feeling I got when I saw it for the first time. If you remember Hale Bopp, than you know what I am talking about. She stretched out in the sky like a shimmering windsock blowing in the breeze across the sky. It looked so bright, so peaceful and serene, as if it was the most graceful thing I had ever seen. Bright, blue, and prominent. You could not miss it. I left the experience with the impression that all comets are naked eye visible, especially if they have a name sounding like my cousin Haley. Not only that, but C/1995 O1 Hale Bopp stayed around for months. MOnths and months. 18 to be exact. It was not naked eye visible around the world for this entire window, but to this day holds the record over the next closest contender at 9 months. I remember car trips and leaning up against our Ford Windstar minivan window and just staring at it. It is not fair to say I took it for granted because I looked at it every chance I could get. It was my companion. However, when it was no longer gracing my skies, I missed it greatly and wished I would have observed it more.
I left this entire experience deeply moved. I had also seen an annular eclipse approaching totality, not quite, in 1994 over my home in Ohio. I was sent to school with welding goggles to observe it. Something in the young me was compelled to view these sights and events. Nobody else in our school got to go outside to see it. There were not cheap eclipse glasses on every corner. The teachers let me though, and I could not believe how dark it got. I know it wasnt dark like night, but in my memory it was. I just could not wait until the next comet or eclipse!
Little did I know how rare these events are. Yes, you can travel to see an eclipse just about every year. Comets come and go, but most are not naked eye visible, and if they are, its only under optimal viewing conditions or with viewing aids. As a result, many people have never experienced them. The wonder. The beauty. The Power. The Majesty. I am yet to have seen another naked eye visible comet in my life, although that is because I missed the few and brief opportunies there were. Me being impatient, impulsive, and a fast mover, I was already on to the next. Forgotten and replaced by various this or thats. But the mark was made. It was burned into me, even if forgotten temporarily, it was always there.
It was reignited in 2017 when the US experienced a total solar eclipse. I saw eclipse, nationwide, and got very excited. Little did I know how it actually worked. I was disappointed in the experience after the lofty bar set in my childhood. It was neat, but it did not change my life. However, I began asking myself questions. I found myself wanting to understand. Understand I did. And that brings us to now.
I am here to bring my passion to you. I picked 2024 as the year to follow this dream and follow this path for a reason. I did not know if it would pan out when I started it, but I knew 2 BIG things were happening. I knew it would bring the people the same wonder as it did me, no matter what stage of life, background, or knowledge level. So far, it has been a banner year for celestial sights. I do believe in the power of manifestation as I have proven it to myself many times. I believed that this year would in fact be a banner year. While I would never be so presumptuous to think that the cosmos would ever bend to my will in the slightest bit, I am left to conclude that I am in fact connected to it. That it was calling me then and it is calling me now. I am here to bring this to you. Not knowledge, as I am still seeking it myself. But passion, a place, a community. I do believe the best is yet to come. So far this year I have seen a total solar eclipse from center path totality in my back yard, and not just an eclipse, but a beautiful and powerful prominence waving to me. I have seen the northern lights in my back yard with a phone full of new wall paper. I have met all of you wonderful people. And yet I still can sit here and say the best is yet to come. 2024 has not played its last card, not even close. No less than 2 once in a lifetime events yet remain on the calendar. Those are just the ones we know about. I invite you all personally to take this journey with me into tomorrow, whatever it may bring, with eyes in the skies
With light and love,
AcA