Cwh dildo carmen tease

Trigger warning. Also I'm sorry, this is a really long post but I'll bullet point most stuff down.
I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.

moanalissa32 Here's everything I could find. I compiled anything that was ramblefap/"real orgasm". I know everything isn't deleted, but some of them are. I'm happy to take down this post if you want. I also have some of the post texts if you want that. Those were too many characters for a reddit post so I left them out.

2022-06-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] Masturbation with 2 Vibrators (Lelo Sona Cruise and Ben wa Ball) [vibrator] [masturbation] [moaning] [holding breath and gasping for air] [orgasm] [candid]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-with-Lelo-Sona-Cruise

2022-06-08

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Orgasm through Masturbation with one Vibrator [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [shaking from pleasure] [moaning][light profanity][American accent}
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-2-with-1-vibrator-and-post-feedback

2022-06-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Orgasm through Manual Grinding Masturbation [heavy breathing] [masturbate] [grind][music] [pointed toes] [ramblefap] [gasping for air] [intimate] [moaning] [orgasm] [narrative] [clothed] [tremble] [holding breath] [American accent] [west coast accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Manual-Grinding-Orgasm-Twofer

2022-06-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Sex Dialogue and Masturbation [heavy breathing] [masturbate] [pointed toes] [ramblefap] [gasping for air] [intimate] [moaning] [orgasm] [answered question] [tremble] [holding breath] [American accent] [west coast accent] [nsfw] [light profanity]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Morning-Masturbation-with-toy-discussion

2022-06-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 3 Orgasms through Masturbation Grind, Vibrator and Vibe with Dildo [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [shaking from pleasure] [moaning][light profanity][American accent][grinding] [lelo] [dildo]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/O3-From-Grind-to-Vibe-to-Dildo

2022-06-25

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] REQUEST HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading Top 6 All Time Slutty Confessions with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Pavlov Dog] [Orgasm] [Training] [Penetration on Stage] [Exhibitionism] [Dildo] [Incest Dildo] [Humor] [Blow Job] [Bullying] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Top-6-Slutty-Confessions-of-All-Time-Reading-with-Masturbating

2022-06-27

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] [F4M] REQUEST HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading 32M Loses Virginity (28F) Slutty Confessions with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Virgin] [Orgasm] [Training] [Penetration] [Hyperspermia] [Oral] [Multiple Orgasms] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/SLUTTY-CONFESSION-32M-VIRGIN-WITH-1-ORGASM

2022-06-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] HYSTERICAL AUDIO: Reading Katie's POV as a 'HotWife' with Masturbation [Masturbation] [Cuckold] [Cuck] [Bull] [Hotwife] [Orgasm] [Blow Job] [Rejection] [Oral] [Permission] [BWC] [Cum] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Cuckhold-Story-Katies-Side-1-with-Orgasm

2022-07-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Quick Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet] [music] [profanity] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Orgasm-4-Unanticipated-and-Quick-Lelo

2022-07-06

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] HYSTERICAL AUDIO INTERRUPTED: Reading OLD FRIEND by TAgainAgain while Masturbating [Masturbation] [Dead Bedroom] [Cheating] [Blow Job] [Racing] [Orgasm] [Musician] [Exes] [Old Friends] [Uncircumcised] [Phone Call] [Vibrator] [Glowed Up] [Reading]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/OLD-FRIEND-PT-1-INTERRUPTED
• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/ORGASM-WITH-LELO-Sona-Cruise-JULY5

2022-07-12

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Breathy Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [music] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Mostly-Breathing-1
• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Mostly-breathy-and-Some-Moaning-2

2022-07-17

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] [F4A] Quick Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator - Already Started [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Masturbating-And-One-More

2022-07-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Exclusive for My Followers Only: Interrupted Orgasm Cleaned Audio [Ramblefap] [Breathing] [Moaning] [Orgasm] [Lelo] [Vibrator]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/ORGASM-WITH-LELO-Sona-Cruise-JULY5-Cleaned

2022-07-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Long Orgasm through Masturbating with Vibrator and Dildo [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [wet sounds] [big dildo] [intense] [edging] [trembling body and breath] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Masturbating-Lelo-Dildo-Lelo

2022-07-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Breed Me Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [breed kink] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Breed-Me-4th-Wall

2022-08-05

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Caught by Mom [Incest] [MotheSon] [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [mom / son] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Caught-by-Mom-Ramblefap-O-1

2022-08-12

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Masturbation with Vibrator - Holiday Vacation [Cheating] [None the Wiser] [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration][Lelo][4th wall] [Morning sex] [Planned Vacation] [breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Vacation-Visit-O

2022-08-15

original reddit post
Title: F4M] 69th Cake Day Twofer Orgasm through Masturbation with Lelo [Ramblefap] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding my breath] [trembling from pleasure][needy] [moaning][light profanity][4th wall break][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanalissa32/Ramblefap-69th-Day-on-Reddit

2022-08-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Conference [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [pointed toes] [narration] [meet for coffee] [maintain my innocence] [no control] [confession][breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Fantasy-4th-Wall-Conference

2022-08-26

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Shower [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [shower] [maintain my innocence] [no control] [confession][breaking the 4th wall] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Shower-Fantasy

2022-09-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 4th Wall Fantasy Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Zoom Distraction [masturbating] [orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [lingerie] [zoom] [surprise visit] [profanity][breaking the 4th wall][Improv] [real orgasm] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://whyp.it/tracks/40154/ramblefap-conference-zoom-o

2022-09-09

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap Orgasm through Masturbation with Vibrator - Just Like Before [masturbating] [real orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [ramblefap] [narration] [whisper] [pointed toes] [profanity] [American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Back-to-how-I-used-to-make-them

2022-09-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] 100 Cake Day - Come with Me [4th Wall Break][real orgasm] [vibrator] [moaning] [breathing] [GWA Voice Actress] [ramblefap] [narration] [whisper] [finger in ass] [Masturbation instruction][Confession][Mutual masturbation][Mutual edging][profanity] [American accent] [Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Cum-with-Me

2022-09-16

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - Trifecta with My New Vibrator [real orgasms] [vibrator] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes][needy] [moaning][light profanity][4th wall break][We Vibe Melt] [Needs a name][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-My-New-Vibe-Trifecta

2022-09-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - New Vibrator with Big D[real orgasms] [descriptive] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes][wet noises][needy] [moaning][profanity][big dildo][We Vibe Melt] [deadline][long audio][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-We-Vibe-Melt-with-Big-D

2022-10-01

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Orgasms through Masturbation - New Vibe Needs a Name [real orgasms] [descriptive] [heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt] [Poll][Followers decide][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-New-Name-for-the-MeltO

2022-10-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap/Hysterical Audio - Make Me Forget Him Tonight [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [pointed toes] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt][American accent][long audio 42 minutes] written by MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Make-Me-Forget-Him-Tonight-v2-Hysterical-Audio

2022-10-14

original reddit post
Title: [F4M]Is Your Partner Finally Asleep Next To You? Now Time For Us [FDom vibes] [4th Wall][GWA VA Speaker][JOI/JOE][Dirty Talk][Teasing][Degradation][Good Boy][Cheating][Shame][Guilt][Humiliation][Condescending][Breeding][Facesitting][Countdowns][Masturbation][Edging][Speaker Real Orgasm][Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Is-Your-Partner-Finally-Asleep-Next-To-You-Now-Time-For-Us

2022-10-21

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: The Melt has a Name [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [blow job mention] [moaning][profanity][We Vibe Melt][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-The-Melt-has-a-Name

2022-10-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Double O with the Neurolyzer [real orgasm] [masturbation] [vibrator][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [holding breath] [minimal talking] [moaning] [pointed toes mention][profanity][We Vibe Melt][long pause after first o][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Double-O-with-Neurolyzer

2022-10-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: 3 Word Challenge - First Recorded Squirt [real orgasm] [masturbation] [big dildo][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker orgasm] [real orgasm] [Fuck Me Harder] [moaning] [squirt][profanity][sitting on the floor][super quick 3:33][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramble-Fap-3-Word-Challenge-Squirt

2022-11-04

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Hysterical Audio: I'll Be Your Fantasy - The Slut's Pledge [Fsub][obedient][confession][bjs][exhibitionism][dirty talk][self degradation][shared][daddy][sir][dtf][moaning][real orgasm][pleading][vibrator][3 hole fucktoy][voyeur][thick cock][anal][dp][creampie][Script Fill] by MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-FillRamblefap-Sluts-Pledge

2022-11-11

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Double Orgasm Post Interview [real orgasm] [masturbation] [big dildo][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm] [moaning] [profanity][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Double-Duty-Post-Interview

2022-11-18

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Doctor Visit [real orgasm] [masturbation] [medical][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm][orgasm announced] [moaning] [profanity][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Doctor-Visit-1

2022-11-21

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Your Hot TA Shows You Who is In Charge-Part 1 [gentle fdom][college][TA/student][masturbation][blow job][real speaker orgasm][listener orgasm][hand job][bald pussy][countdown][cum on tits][good boy][follow my instructions][No sex][edging][whispers][moans][American Accent] with MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Your-Hot-TA-Shows-You-Who-is-In-Charge-Part-1

2022-11-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Sorry Babe, I'm Addicted to your Best Man [confession][cheating][betrayal][pregnant][voicemail][size mention][addition][wedding night][oral][piv][masturbating to my picture][panties][lied][retreat][speaker real orgasm][progression][American Accent] Written Collab with MyDirtySecr3t
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Commission-Sorry-Babe-Im-Addicted-to-your-Best-Man-fx
• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Sorry-Babe-Im-Addicted-to-your-Best-Man-no-fx

2022-11-23

original reddit post
Title: [F4M][F4A] PSpot and GSpot Guided Play with Me [JOI] [Prostate Play][Bi-positive][Sex positive][Straight Friendly][toys][listener orgasm] [performer real orgasm][anal play][pussy play][glass c toy][educational/instructional audio][masturbation][HFO] Written by Kobmoney43 (first script YAY!)
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-PSpot-and-GSpot-Guided-Play-with-Me

2022-11-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Coworker Crush Fantasy come True - you have to share a bed with your work crush at a hotel conference [Fdom][teasing][loving][sex][blow job][taking virginity][narrative][purple lingerie][coworkers to lovers][thoughts][real orgasm][Script Fill] Written by CompliantScribe
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Fantasy-Come-True

2022-12-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4A] A sexy woman is casually reading in bed, dressed to kill. Her partner is hoping for sex, but she ignores their desires. Eventually, she can’t help but be turned on…[bored][ignored][humiliation][moaning fetish][real orgasm][seduced][fdom to fsub][smoking] Written by CompliantScribe
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-Casually-Reading-and-Smoking

2022-12-09

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: 2 Orgasms in 15 mins [real orgasm] [masturbation] [4th wall][heavy breathing] [gasping for air] [intimate] [speaker real orgasm][orgasm announced] [moaning] [profanity][face sitting][neurolyzer melt vibrator][American accent]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Face-Sitting-is-a-Thing

2022-12-19

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: MOANday Masturbation Back to Back [4th Wall][real orgasm][moaning][breathing][loud orgasm][2 orgasms][we vibe melt][soft voice][small confession][announcing I'm close/orgasm][sensitive]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Mutual-Masturbation

2022-12-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: Exploring with Glass [real orgasm][anal plug][we vibe melt][glass][njoy pure wand][shower][edging][clitoral orgasm]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Exploration-AP-Neurolyzer-Glass-Pure-Want

2023-01-27

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] RAMBLEFAP: Super Long Triplefap [rambling][moaning][neurolyzer vibrator][big dildo][kind loud orgasms] I talk about [meeting a sex shop worker][threesoms][polyamory/open/monogamy][real orgasms][gasping for air][loud breathing][4th wall][dirty talk][suck my toes][mention feet]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Super-Long-Triplefap

2023-01-30

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] RAMBLEFAP: Last fap of the Super Long Triplefap [rambling][moaning][neurolyzer vibrator][big dildo][kind loud orgasms] I talk about [meeting a sex shop worker][threesome][polyamory/open/monogamy][real orgasms][gasping for air][breathing][4th wall][dirty talk][suck my toes][mention feet]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Last-Fap-of-the-Super-Long-Triplefap

2023-02-02

original reddit post
Title: [F4M]The Voicemails Your Ex Left You [No actual sex] but plenty through [voicemail][confession][awkward] at first then [drunk] [rambling][speaker orgasm] talk of [voyeurism][risky sex] [cunnilingus][blowjob][missionary][creampie] implied[sweet ending][Script Fill] Written by st0pinthenameoftits
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-The-Voicemails-Your-Ex-Left-You
• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-The-Voicemails-Your-Ex-Left-You-2

2023-02-07

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Alissa's Ramblefap Compilation by Special Request [real multiple orgasms][big dildo][clit sucker vibrator][long audio 1:10:00][descriptive][moaning][squirting][3-word challenge][69th day audio][edging][authentic self][grinding][lingerie][navy blue][wet sounds][trembling]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Follower-Request-Orgasm-Compilation-1

2023-02-16

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] A sexy woman seduces you with her voice teasing you with increasing intensity, until you climax with her… [gentle femdom] [JOI/JOE][blow job][sex][teasing][real speaker orgasm][moaning][breathing][vibrator][married woman][Script Fill] Written by current_mgt
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Script-Fill-A-sexy-woman-seduces-you-with-her-voice-teasing-you-with-increasing-intensity-until-you-climax-with-her

2023-02-24

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap: A little 4th Wall Break [real orgasm][vibrator][neurolyzer][thigh highs][secret/confession][cheating mention][mutual masturbation]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Ramblefap-Super-Bowl-Sunday-Sneaky-O

2023-07-28

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Hysterical Ramblefap Audio reading Let Me Take Care of You [Narrative][ramblefap][F POV][sensual][destress][kissing][touching][blow job][cock worship][reading while masturbating][real speaker orgasm][Private Script Fill]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/Story-Let-Me-Take-Care-Of-You

2023-11-15

original reddit post
Title: [F4M] Ramblefap by Follower Request [whispers][real orgasm][lelo][clitoral orgasm][moaning][breathing][intimate][piv mention][pointed toes][tingle][intense][loud][toy][undressing][4th wall][mutual masturbation][boundary break]
Audio Links:

• https://soundgasm.netMoanALissa32A/5K-Follower-Request

I'm sorry, this is a really long post but I'll bullet point most stuff down.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding. •Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons. •One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure. •Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me. •Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me? •I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care. •I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions. •I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen. •He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more. •Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy. •I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything. •Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why. •Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious. •For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length." •Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear. •Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off. •I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this. •(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't. •(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity. •(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes. •When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me. •Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way. •Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down. •He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything." •Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same." •Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age. •One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that. •I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age. •I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.

I have this weird kink called "Scat" Whenever i just see dog poop on the road i would endlessly jerk myself off to that piece of shit. Oh my, i wanna sniff and grab it. I want to kiss and burry my big dick against it. But i keep resisting myself and just force myself to walk away. My my, i'm so FUCKING HORNY! everytime i see shit. I jerked off to so many porns of people shitting while theyre getting pegged. Especially the two girls and one cup, I love it so much.. no one in my surroundings know about this, except my discord friends, we usually esex and cum at the same time when we shit ourselves, theres this one time where he would start pinching my both nipples and my dick kept peeing and cumming at the same time while he thrusts hie BIG MASSIVE COCK inside of me.. i just shit myself till i cant take it and rupture my asshole and dick more forcing me to shit even harder. It smells so bad but the aroma makes me so hard. My friends or bros would love to tease me for having a scat kink, they would tease me about licking my asshole while i shit myself.. They never failed but to make me hard! I got my asshole shoved with three dildos in a 16 server private e sex server! I love it when 15 of them make me so horny and fuck me endlessly till i cum out blood, i love the taste of their pee too when they pee on my face and my throat. It makes me gag and throw up but they like it when i throw up while i give them head.. I suppose it's arousing? I don't know about this. I always smell so bad, i've got 14 complaints from my classmate told by the principal of me smelling like shit, i also got suspended 6 times for the same reason. I am 27 and i live with my parents and i am at the 7th grade. Anyway, i love the smell so i could attract some alphas and could mark me by my loving attracting scent. Apperantly no one haven't done that still, mostly e sex with my bros. I also got caught so many times by my parents of me shitting on a plastic bottle or any container i see. Back then at 2019 i used to shit alot on a container lying around the house, my mom would get very confused if she sees one of her pots and pans missing. One day, i was having a discord e sex with my bros, all 16 of them.. My mom knocked me on my door when i was about to piss, cum and shit on cam and when she satrted knocking hard i screamed "MOM WAIT!!" and she got terrified and unlocked my door with keys seeing my room smell like shit and piss all over the table, and i came infront of my mom after getting humiliated like that. I loved it so much and i am grounded to this day still

i love my partner i do but if im being honest with yall he wasnt a good person to me several times he cheated(idk if it was with a girl either its something i figured out because he was acting completely different and several months later he admitted to indefinitely but that dont mean it was with another girl o.O) hes also been a lier , and it was a continuous cycle that has left me with bad insecurities and trauma of being not enough. (also i didnt know he was cheating on me at all throughout the 5 years but it end up making sense now as to why he was always such an asswhole and for so many other reasons but the thing is weve been together for five years now and i can say that only the last 7months these have been the most ive ever gotten out of him like he has really shown that he wanted to change the way he was to me and he began doing bf things he never would do before. NOW OUR SEX LIFE IS JUICY LIKE U COULDNT IMAGINE BUT IM I TRIPPEN OR Am i Right? cuz my man has always like some booty whole play and i give it to him. but recently hes been soooo horny and wanting me to shove the dildo in his ass, dont get me wrong ill do it and hell nut and then 20min-1hr later hell tell me to do it again and its a repetitive thing so lets say throughout the day we have 5 sexual relations out of those 5 atleast 3 involved me shoving a dildo in his ass till he came…. also he goes to the restroom or our room and sends me videos of him putting the dildo in his butt and nutting at some point. i didnt mind doing little like tease and all like some finger play but tbh this type of behavior if now confusing me …. am i wrong for thinking he maybe gay????

Long story short, when we first dated around 3 years ago he told me he is still friends with his ex (who lives in another country and speaks another language) and I was okay with it since we were still not serious although i found it a bit weird how close they still were (she sent him a picture of her new dildo) etc.
Then he told me he wants to introduce me to her but i wasn’t comfortable really, and part of me thought that yea well i wouldn’t really be comfortable meeting my ex’s new gf, let alone needing him to translate half of the time, so i declined.
Then he has all of his “close female friends” from that country in which he slept with at a certain point in his past. That also didn’t resonate well with me but after a long ass discussion he kind of convinced me that its normal and in the past.
Then on i noticed that whenever he meets any of my female friends or new females, he is extremely friendly, which i thought was nice at first till I noticed the amount of attention he seems to give to them, from compliments to teasing to texting them and calling them (all friendly not flirty but you know borderline?)
So i started getting more and more insecure. Till we broke up last year (long distance) and he slept with a girl he knew when we were together but never told me about two days after we broke up - while we were still on talking terms, and “lets meet and figure things out” -
Ffwd to after we met and i knew and all of that drama we got back together, im on his phone one day and i see a secret chat from one of his “close female friends abroad” and i check his msgs (i know its wrong but i wanted to know if it was a one time thing or recurring- and apparently it was their thing, even when we were broken up they still had a secret chat, and then after when we were together.
Am I delusional? He says im extremely insecure and irrational and i should work on this myself and he refuses to remove any of those “friends” i confronted him with this chat he said it was his idea out of fear from me…
He also says “ I gave you the chance to meet my ex but you refused so i will not make you meet any of them like this”

Hey everyone! This is my 2nd post about my affair with Dustin, a 26 year old, married, captain on staff while I was a newly arrived 18 year old private at my first duty station.
I hope you enjoy Part 2, and as always, I'm welcome to receive any constructive feedback you may have about my writing or if you just want to talk! If you're just here to bash me for having an affair with someone, save your breath, I'll just block you. Without further ado, Part 2 of my affair with Dustin! <3 Hannah
First, a little about me. I'm 5'5ish, 135ish depending on the day, and have dark brown hair that falls part way down my back with brown eyes. My mom is a Crow (Native American) and my dad is Italian so the olive complexion genes are active in my family. I've got a fairly petite/athletic build with a 32B chest and a toned butt. My nipples are dark brown, on the smaller side, and I shave everywhere. I'm a fan of tattoos and have a feather on my foot, flower pieces on my right hip into my lower ribs, left shoulder, and lower back, a small script piece in my left side bra line, a green carebear in my left bikini line and a large dream catcher down my left ribs. If there's a detail I've left out, feel free to ask ;)
I sat alone in my barracks room the morning after my first in person experience with Dustin, the officer I'd met on Bumble who turned out to have a wife going to school out of state. I'd ignored any thought of walking away from this potentially messy situation and now found myself waking up alone in my room, the morning after letting a married officer cum all over my face and chest while i fingered myself to orgasm kneeling in front of him. I admitted two simple truths to myself: it had been the biggest rush of my life, and i absolutely needed more.
I checked my phone and saw 4 new messages from Dustin, all expounding on the fact he wished we didn't have to go to work today and how he wished I was there with him. As I got dressed for the daily workday routine of morning physical training, I snapped him a pic in just my maroon sports bra and black athletic thong and sent it to him, telling Dustin how I wished I could do PT in his home gym in just this. The buldge pic I got in return told me he liked the sound of that as I slipped back to reality, put on my PT uniform and joined my platoon for the usual Monday run. This was the rush. The dual life I craved and what drew me to Dustin. One minute I was sending sexy snaps to a man I shouldn't be with, living in the world of secret meetups and fun and the next, I was out joining my platoon for a normal daily routine workout. The world of the rush was addicting and I'd only just dipped my toes (mouth) in.
My day to day world of learning about fuel tankers, learning to drive them under NVGs, how to test fuel quality to ensure adequate grade for the type of unit I was supporting and all manner of tactical skills that would help me integrate into a complex military operation was genuinely rewarding and occupied my attention fairly easily. But then I'd find myself longing for a breakout. Longing for the rush of excitement I'd only just tasted. Each message from Dustin became a small dose of "you shouldn't but you will" and I wanted more.
Dustin had a busy schedule at the staff he worked on, but always took a moment to ask "how's my beautiful Private doing? Need anything from the Exchange?" We had had one intimate in person encounter and already this was taking on more than just a hookup from a dating app. We both recognized that actively developing a relationship behind the back of one partner's spouse automatically made this more than "just sex"....which we hadn't even had yet.
Between his work schedule and mine, we found it difficult to meet up the week following our evening of watching football with a side of a blowjob. Didn't stop me from letting him know I wanted more. I dropped all the hints. I sent him pics of choices of underwear for the day, letting him choose from a few options I was comfortable working in and then sending him quick snaps from the bathroom at work, proving his Private really wore what he'd asked her to. I also introduced him to a pink, 6 inch, anatomically correct dildo I typically used in the evening when I craved him desperately. I showed him that just like with his similarly sized shaft, I could force my lips to reach its base as the tip slid into the back of my throat. I also laid it on top of the underwear he had chosen for me one day, a simple pair of boyshorts that looked incredible with a pink phallis on top, illustrating just how far into my petite frame it/he would go if I would just slip them to the side and insert it/him.
I kept him wanting more. You can see my underwear, but only laid out on my bed, or on me, not tossed to the side showing you underneath. You can see my small collection of sex toys in my drawer or in my mouth, but the camera stops before they get to where they're the most fun. By Thursday, Dustin was desperate for the week to end so we could be together. He sent me a video of him teasing himself with pictures of me on his laptop and I thought it was the hottest thing ever to watch a man who definitively out ranked me choosing "his beautiful Private" over his wife. By Saturday we were going to go wild if we didn't take the next step.
There's different types of duty in the military, from a barracks desk to an installation watch office and every echelon in between. Saturday Dustin had duty for his brigade, which normally meant not a lot of time sitting at a desk, but a lot of time going around inspecting important places in his unit and making reports of what he found. I couldn't wait any longer and neither could he. I told him he should just add me to his list of inspections and quickly have his way with me during his rounds. Not the fairy tale special first time but the raw, I need you now and I'm tired of waiting, that two deprived lovers seek.
He agreed and said he would have time to "run home for dinner" if I would be ready and waiting for him. Ready and waiting in your bed. Quicky to satisfy this urge and let me plan something more while I wait. Yes. Dustin agreed to leave his side door unlocked so I could let myself in while he was at work. Apparently despite our lack of intimacy, our constant stream of communication built a trust that I wouldn't rob him blind lol seriously though, I respected his trust and didn't take an opportunity to go through all his stuff or leave a letter for his wife or anything crazy in between.
Instead, I drove over in late afternoon in a pair of black Nike soccer shorts with a built-in liner, so I went sans underwear, and continued the trend with a pink tshirt and matching hoodie without a bra, letting my small, 32B chest bounce a little as I let myself in, walked past the couch I'd kneeled in front of to receive a facial at the previous weekend and made my way towards Dustin's bedroom upstairs. I found aa spacious king bed that occupied the majority of the fairly small room in military housing, leaving a small walk way on either side, wide enough for matching his and hers nightstands on either side of the bed and space at the end of the bed where the room flowed into the master bathroom sweat complete with walk in closet, linen closet and 2 sink bathroom with a nice deep tub.
I set my purse down on what was clearly his wife's nightstand and quickly stopped out of my comfy clothes I'd worn to my visit. I plopped down naked in his bed, with a condom and lube laid out on her nightstand next to my purse. I sent Dustin a nude selfie of me on his wife's side of the bed, with a caption letting him know I was ready for our quicky. A quick reply let me know I had 15 minutes. I was immediately slick with anticipation. I set a pillow in the center of the bed and scooted my butt towards the edge of the bed as I spread my legs wide and began to tease light circles around my clit as I began to tease myself in preparation for the quick coupling that was minutes away. As my breath quickened and my heart raced, I dabbed a small glob of lube onto two of my fingers and I slowly stretched myself, my inner walls relaxing to recieve one, two, three fingers as I continued to rub my clit, my body as desperate to be with Dustin as my heart was.
A rattling of keys in the front door let me know my time was up as I removed the 3 fingers currently satiating the desperate urges of my core. Racing footsteps up the stairs found Dustin at the door in seconds, with his beautiful Private spread eagle on the edge of the bed waiting for him. I looked up at him in his uniform, totally unashamed of my nude and vulnerable position and told him his Private was ready for his inspection.
In a flash his camo jacket was tossed aside, the brown undershirt following behind and he rushed to undo his belt and soon had his pants and briefs around his ankles. In a moment he was leaning down on top of me, hungrily kissing my lips as his firm shaft pressed against my core as I pulled him into a tight embrace between my wide spread legs. As we passionately kissed, our tongues breathlessly intertwined, I paused and asked him if he wanted the condom off his wife's nightstand. I reminded him I was on the shot for BC, but it was his choice either way.
He pulled away to look over at her nightstand and instead of grabbing the condom, took the lube and generously applied a coat to his entire six or seven inch length. I needed him now. Standing between my legs, which I held wide open for him with my butt to the edge of the bed, Dustin teased the tip of his firm shaft between the lips of my freshly shaved vagina. He ran the tip between my spread lower lips, from my clit to my soaking wet and lubed entrance. With only a moments pause with his tip aligned with my eager hole, Dustin firmly pushed his entire length into me as he moaned my name and my soft inner walls welcomed him deep inside me as I gasped at the feeling of sudden fullness and a desperate need for more.
Buried to the base of his shaft inside me, Dustin leaned down to kiss me passionately. I wrapped my legs behind his butt, pulling him deep inside me as he began to thrust in a steady deep rhythm that drove me to the edge. I breathless begged for him to fuck me as I scratched lines down his back with my nails as I desperately held my man between my legs, his thrusts stimulating every inch of my inner walls and the friction of our bodies urging my clit to find release. Dustin broke our embrace and soon I found myself with two strong hands holding my legs open wide nearly in the splits on the edge of the bed as he thrust into me deeper than I'd ever felt before. I was breathless, calling out for more. Please don't stop Dustin. Please don't stop as his pace quickened and I could feel his balls slapping against nearly my butthole as he pounded into me, using my vagina for his release. I took one hand and found my clit, matching my rhythm to his and I soon found the waves of release that had building to the edge as Dustin gave me more, more, more. My inner walls clenched tight as the dam broke and my orgasm shook through my body in a release of ecstasy. Dustin continued to fuck me through my own release, my body desperate for him to find his own release.
I looked up at the passion and hunger in his eyes as I became keenly aware of the bouncing of my small breasts as I laid there riding the wave of my massive orgasm moaning in pleasure as the stimulation deepend, quickened and in a moment, I could feel Dustin swell and find his release deep inside me, ropes of cum filling me as my body clinched around him, holding him inside me as a second wave of pleasure pulsed through my core. We laid there for a long moment, a tight sweaty embrace with my handsome man on top of me, showering my neck and lips in kisses as we both breathlessly came down from our collective orgasms.
Dustin stood up, his softening length sliding out of me along with a mix of his cum and lube and my own release. I stood up and followed him to the bathroom, me completely naked, with his uniform pants pulled half way back up. I took hot washcloths and cleaned both of us between our legs, getting him ready to go back to work and for me to clean the mix of cum and lubed that was now running down my inner thigh. I asked him if I'd passed his inspection and he laughed, smiling and kissing me saying that indeed I had. He told me I could spend the night here if I wanted, he had to get back to duty but his place was a little more awesome than my barracks room.
I agreed and put back on my Nike shorts and tshift with it fairly obvious that I wasn't wearing a bra, which admittedly wasn't really an issue for Dustin at all. I followed him downstairs and kissed him goodnight as he headed back to work. I made myself at home and made a simple dinner and fell asleep watching tv under a blanket in his living room, which is where he found me when he came home at the end of his shift in the morning. I followed him to bed and we spent most of the day napping in eachothers arms before it really was time for me to go home and get ready for the next work week. I continued to tease him on snap and told him that we had sooooo much more still to do and his response made it readily apparent that he agreed.
Thank you for reading this chapter of my affair with Dustin! If you liked it or have something in my writing you'd like to see improved, feel free to let me know! My writing only gets better if you tell me what you'd like to see! Thanks for for sticking with me, I truly hope you've enjoyed! <3 Hannah

So I [M23] just moved out of my parents house and started to renting a room. I have a roommate and got along right of the bat. We both have gfs and I taught everything was normal. Since I live alone I decided to get a toy and I got myself a dildo, and since we have separate bathrooms I leave my toy in my bathroom. One night I was in our living room and he came there with my dildo on his hand. After a fun conversation he revealed that he was also bi, after that he started to tease me and it wasn’t long before we hooked up. Our gfs don’t know about it and it’s been so fun to be together behind their backs. It’s been so perfect and I get so hard when my roommate says, while he and I have sex, that he wants to fuck my gf

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Maybe I'm too sensitive, I'll take that bullet, but the John Fuda /dildo thing is super weird and immature . I don't think it's true, to be honest, but I do think it's super weird for a bunch of adults to cackle and sneer about someone's sex life. I'm sure as adults we all have sexual interests that we don't want broadcast to the world and remain between sexual partners. Like him or not, he seemed to have handled it well and the other men seemed to not tease him about it. He laughed it off, but I'm sure as a straight man in New Jersey, that was embarrassing and upsetting. The whole thing reminds me so much of Atlanta and how those women love to bully some woman by implying that her husband is gay. It all just felt so childish and low key homophobic to me. Just the kind of behavior I expect from Jen "Buggawolf" Aydin

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