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Have a nice and prosperous day BabyDogeArmy!

So as some of you may or may not know, I was the creator of the Eiffelites fan page on Facebook that started back in 2013. There hasn’t been an update for a while and I feel you all have the right to know why..
So, my original Facebook account, that I used to create the page, was hacked into a few years ago. My passwords were changed and Facebook support did nothing about it. By the time I was able to get through to someone it was too late.. the hackers deleted my account.
Therefore, I have no access to the Facebook page at all and cannot update it on my current account as Facebook doesn’t recognise me as the owner.
So the Facebook page is dead, basically…
However, all is not lost, as I am planning on bringing it back sometime soon. This time on another platform. I’m thinking maybe Discord as I’m extremely active there.
Anyways, I hope that answers your questions about the status of the Eiffelites Facebook page. I still have access to the YouTube channel though but am planning to start fresh.
If you’re interested, let me know.

So I (24M) am going through a difficult time emotionally in terms of trying to figure out my current situation. One thing I can’t get over is what went wrong with my parents who are somehow still together. They both CLEARLY don’t like each other very much and I’m pretty sure the reason why is that they spend way too much time in the house together and it’s been going on for so long. My dad “worked” from home for a long time as a photographer (basically most of the time that I’ve known him) and things got real tough on his business for a good minute. But he went out of his way to not suck it up and do certain work that would’ve helped pay the bills (refused to shoot weddings, other things that annoyed him). It honestly comes off to me now as a bit lazy, and low and behold do I learn that he was a big pot head for my entire life. I personally don’t have an issue with weed, but I used to find it strange why he never really had energy. He also used to vent to me about his marital frustrations and how depressed he was CONSTANTLY, which I think I’ve figured out is because he smoked too much damn weed. This also made things very hard to enjoy when I was growing up bc I think I kinda felt responsible for him. He was always in an existential crisis. I’m gonna stick with the occasional joint but I’m going to be a booze guy from here on out (responsibly I might add, I’m not an idiot). Through all that, I generally have pretty good memories with him as he could be lots of fun at times. In terms of fatherly advice though, he kinda sounds like he barely, if at all, knows what he’s talking about. A lot. BUT, he did show up to everything that me or my brother were involved with and was and still is our biggest fan. He may just kinda repeat back what I say a lot when I ask for advice, but at least he’s trying. I appreciate the effort.
Mom was different. She worked a nursing job on the weekends that she had to commute to. This pretty much destroyed her mental health in my opinion, as she’s incredibly isolated and used to exaggerate how bad, irresponsible, and not caring I was as a kid and teen (I was the kind of kid adults DREAM of. 4.0 student, full ride, helpful, interesting hobbies but can also have fun. Never a burden to anyone really, club joiner, plenty of friends. The whole 9 yards). I was pretty introverted but I think it’s because of how they set everything up to be SO isolated. Putting me in an isolating school that was pretty far from our neighborhood because mom resented it. Our house is literally in a ditch that was pretty separated from everyone (only 1 neighborhood friend). Social skills were honestly at a premium to develop, but I survived. She always seemed so irritated at me, would point out a lot of insecurities I had to her friends to laugh about with, and never really cared to participate in things with me. Never showed up to school events or functions that I was involved with, blamed it on a fear of crowds (which she conveniently doesn’t have when it’s something she wanted to do). She was just kinda mean and distant. Did I jaw back and embarrass her occasionally? Sure, but considering other kids were shooting up heroin in our family (a true fucking story that she had to stick her nose in), I think I can be forgiven. This isolation had an incredibly negative impact on her health. The house is a wreck, her heart sucks as she had a heart attack a couple years back. It’s bad. Real bad. All she does is sit on her damn phone and watch tiktok. Her brain (which, she actually was acutely intelligent) is pretty much fried. It also didn’t help to learn from my aunt that my mom has had affairs (I want to think multiple but I can only confirm one), and the one I can confirm is with a convicted pedophile that she continues to defend (and my dad idiotically goes along with her bullshit on it)… so yeah. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that information.
So how do I make sense of all this. I’m very bad at communicating what I need unless I’m drunk, but I still want them to do better. I work from home with great pay for a single man, so I’m sorta using that to “make up for lost time” on things I missed out on as a kid, but I still feel isolated and stressed bc of the situation. I know I have a deep mistrust and fear of women that I need to get over as well, but I don’t know how to do that. I’m going to see yet another therapist about this, but even that’s burning me out. What’s with this situation?

Even if there isnt any chance of me having sepsis or going septic, if someone can help pinpoint what i could have until i can get to a doctor, thatd be amazing. 19F, 171lbs, 5’5. I take a multi vitamin and Benadryl for allergies. Physical health wise I’ve been diagnosed with anemia and hemophilia since 2018, lab results from May 2023 confirmed both of those still but i havent been to my doctor since then (im horrible, my dr moved and im terrified of doctors but im now learning ive gotta get over that). Other than that and where my really bad issues start i went to the ER in mid April, i think the 18/19th because i had extreme pain in my lower right abdomen that continued getting worse and spreading throughout my stomach which got diagnosed as enter-colitis (enteritis and colitis). I stuck to the BRAT diet until i felt safe enough to switch (they told me at min. 3 days i believe i carried it for at least 5). I’d like to say ive been super mindful of my diet ever since but its already hard for me to eat anyways so when i want something, i dont really deny myself that because i dont really eat much in the first place. This is where im gonna note i have a lot of the same symptoms as gastroparesis, if any further explaination on this would help ill be happy to give it. May 31st from 2-3am i puked 4 times, no blood. I will say i took a couple of shots but only enough to feel buzzed, not drunk, i also havent drank since Sept. last year as im not a big drinker however i do smoke weed when i need to eat or else i feel sick, and before i sleep. I know both of those can mess with you gut health so i figure its worth mentioning. But the whole reason i felt so nauseous anyways is because i felt like i needed to shit so bad but i just couldnt so i guess puking was the second better option for stomach relief. For a while it truly did make my stomach feel better id say around 2pm (May 31st) is when my stomach started bothering me again like it does almost daily, it gets hard for me to eat or be hungry, i also do think shaking thing a lot that could either be low blood sugar or what i mainly think it is, POTS, and i just dont shit a lot (partly why i think i have gastroparesis is literally because i do have delayed gastric emptying) even when i do its never like a normal one and its almost always at least somewhat painful to do so. As of right now, June 1st 3am, the whole left side of my stomach hurts like hell, when i used the bathroom earlier there was bright red blood in my stool, and this is going to sound dramatic as hell but it feels like my stomach acid it actually burning my stomach, chest, and throat. I wont go into a lot detail unless needed but id also like to note from 2019-2022 i had multiple eating disorders mainly starving myself and purging where i abused laxatives like crazy (would eat a full laxative chocolate bar in a day). Ive also overdosed on ibuprofen, tylenol, midol, and benadryl and didnt go to the hospital afterwards id just make myself throw up. Not to pity party or make this dark but as ive grown up i’ve realized that i probably brought all these stomach issues upon myself as all those things are fucking horrible for your stomach! Any and all help is appreciated and if any questions need to be asked i will literally answer anything. if anyone thinks its ok to wait longer ill probably just make an appt with my pcp but if its something urgent ill go to first care or if pain or blood in stool get too much worse ill definitely go to the ER.

In need of a roommate in small duplex who is okay with a great Dane & cat rescue Female preferred roommate needed. House is furnished but bedroom is not except for the desk. The bathroom is shared. Age doesn't matter as long as you love pets. 2 bedroom one bath small duplex with yard. Rent would be $400 plus shared utilities as they are billed. You are welcome to use my furniture, kitchen utilities, pots, silverware, towels. I don't care if you smoke just do it outside. Yard is fenced with little porch. I would be covering the cost of lawn care. I'm looking for a roommate to move in ASAP in Red Bank Tennessee. Room comes with a nice computer desk & has a closet. I have a 1-year-old Great Dane and a cat that I adopted in our neighborhood. She's very chill and stays out of the way and hangs outside most of the day. You would have to bring your own mattress as room is empty besides the computer desk. Wooden floors, dishwasher, Keurig, washer and dryer and microwave

I am writing this completely frustrated with my living situation. I am a recent college grad (24F) living with 2 other roommates (one is 24F and one is 22F) in a 3 bedroom house. I found this place on Facebook marketplace when I was borderline homeless and was desperately looking for a room, and made the grave mistake of taking a chance on random roommates.
The 22F, lets call her Amy, is the most disgusting, rude and immature person I have ever met and is the textbook definition of a bad roommate. She is dirty, will leave dishes in the sink for days (letting the dishes rot!!!), never cleans up after herself, and leaves shared living room, bathroom and kitchen spaces dirty. It's bad enough she is a horrible roommate, she CONSTANTLY has friends over for days who sleep in the living room, even letting them sleep there when she is at work. They sometimes stay up until 4AM, playing loud music and slamming doors, and ignoring my text messages to keep it down. Like do y'all not have jobs ??? Worst of all, her friends smoke (Backwoods specifically) inside the house and the house now has a lingering odor of cigar stench. I do not mind weed at all, I also smoke occasionally, but I do not like the smell of tobacco and much less when it's coming into my room where I pay rent. She has ignored my polite requests to let me know if her friends are coming over, and to have them sleep and smoke in her room. Amy even threatened me to "Keep my mouth shut because it's safer for me" and "Not look at her or talk to her" after I called her out for leaving a moldy dish for 2 weeks. Ever since then I feel unsafe living here. The other roommate, let's call her Allie, I don't really have a problem with, but she never ever pays her share of the utilities on time, and is good friends with Amy, so I feel uncomfortable talking about Amy with her.
I have been dealing with these roommate issues for months now but it's gotten worse. Recently, BOTH roommates have been paying their part of the utilities so late that our light has gone out twice already, despite my multiple attempts to collect the money on time and am unfortunately tasked with handling it myself because it's under my name. After months of trying to solve the issues between us three, I decided to let the landlord know about the unwanted guests, the smoking, and the late utility payments that have caused our power to go out, yet I NEVER received a response. It has been a month since i messaged him.
I am so truly fed up to the point where I never want to be home, and stay in my room if they are home. I loved going to class because it meant not being at home, but now that I've graduated and it's summer, I am worried that if I tell Amy anything, she may retaliate physically since she threated me already. She has also mentioned that she has fought her past roommates so... I fear I'm next. My lease is up in August, I know it's only 2 months away but I can't stand another second living here when I've done everything in my power to help fix the problems. Do y'all have any advice on how to go about this situation, and I'm wondering if I can somehow break my lease early ?
note: we each have individual leases for our rooms

I met someone who smokes pot, and I've never touched or even seen actual pot in my life. When he asked if I smoke, I said, "Heck yeah, I did, but it was only one time, and I don't ever want to do it again." There is this feeling of "Yes, I did this, I did that." I also make up funny fake stories to tell my friends just to get a reaction. Is this even healthy?

[TOMT] Quote from movie or TV show, not sure
I ran into an old Facebook status today that I made 14 years ago and have no idea where I got it from. A lot of my old statuses were quotes from movies or TV shows, especially reality TV.
Here’s the quote:
The reason why I call you collect is cause it's gon' take more than a few quarters to express how I feel about you, baby.
What is this from? Lol

Name	Truecaller: Caller ID & Block
Publisher	Truecaller
Genre	Communication
Size	78.41 MB
Version	14.7.6
MOD	Premium Unlocked

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TL;DR at the bottom.
Greetings. So, you may or may not have heard of Ruslana Medieval Wardrobe. It is an online shop which specializes on offering medieval arms and armor, clothing, accessoires etc. for reenactment and everything related to it. And at first sight they seem to be a trustworthy seller due to their website and strong social media presence where they advertise many of their products regularly.
Unfortunately, as good as they may appear, I'm very disappointed with their customer service. I can't comment on the quality of the product that I have ordered, since I'm still waiting for it, which now goes hand in hand with my issue.
I try to keep it short, but I ordered a piece of clothing back at the end of February of 2024. I paid upfront. Their website stated that it would take 30-40 days for it to be finished, but I know that this was an estimation, so I'll cut them some slack there.
At the beginning of April I sent them a message via Facebook (the site where they operate the most by the looks of it) and asked on the status of my order. They responded fairly quickly and told me they were finishing it up and would send me pictures the following week.
I waited a week and nothing happened. Then another week. Still nothing.
Near the end of April I wrote them again in a more "disappointed" tone and yet they still didn't respond to me.
Throughout May I tried to get in touch with them via Email, Facebook and Instagram. I have yet to receive a response to any of my attempts. Interestingly enough they read my message on IG, so I can safely assume that someone is actually reading through the messages of customers. And as I previously mentioned, they are very active on these platforms so it's strange to me that they are purposefully ignoring me. (I get that the people who run the social media accounts are mostly responsible for advertisement and not customer service, but still, they could atleast redirect such messages to the ones responsible, right?)
As of today, the first of June, I have not received any message, response or answer to any of my inquiries, which I consider highly unprofessional.
So that is why I made this post. Because I kinda wanted to vent and rant, but also to warn other people to perhaps not order from them for the time being.
TL;DR: I ordered a piece of clothing of said website, paid upfront, and now they won't respond to my inquiries regarding it's status, nor send it to me. And this post serves as rant/warning to others who perhaps intend on ordering from them.
Either way, I will update this post if I ever get a response, or god willing, my ordered item.
Cheers.

131/m have always had dandruff, shrugged it off as "wearing my hat too much". Well the last 6 months or so I've been developing acne on my scalp. The longer my hair, the more acne that pops up. If it stays to the grain it's manageable but I got to live with a couple weeks of humiliation with people seeing my scalp acne. 1% ketaconazole somewhat helps but it dries the hell out of my hair and I feel like l'm losing hair using it, even though it clears 90%+ of the acne. I use tea tree oil shampoo that also helps for awhile until it doesn't. The stress or the acne is causing tefflum effluvium. I take anxiety meds to help/cope but the acne is really ruining my life. I, at the moment, cannot afford to see a dermatologist and I doubt going to the ER is wise. Everyday, I wake up with a new pimple somewhere on my head. Some last a day or two, some are my bumps with no black/white head and they hurt a lot. I know with sebderm there is no "cure" and I'm hoping it's just follicultis and there is something I can do about it. Any advice? Should I use the ketaconazole daily? Can it be a yeast infection?
31 male Meds: hydroxyzine, melatonin, lurasadone Height: 5’6 Weight: 200lbs Smoking status: vape Drink: socially(2-3 times a month)

I (25F) have suffered with chronic illness since I was 12 years old. More than half my life battling pain, stress, anxiety and an overwhelming number of symptoms. Not to mention the debilitating mental health effects as well.
I’ve always been told I am a medical anomaly. Every one of my diagnoses is idiopathic and largely incurable. Half of me yearns deeply for a cause but the other half simply doesn’t care and wants to find a way to keep moving forward.
I guess I’m just looking for support. To find someone with similar diagnoses and struggles. To not feel so alienated and tiptoed around. I will list my diagnoses below. Please feel free to reach out. I’d love to speak with more zebras out there and feel less alone…

• Hypopituitarism
• Hypothyroidism
• Gastroparesis
• Severe IBS-C
• Status Migrainosus
• Osteoporosis
• Raynauds Disease
  
• possible POTS diagnosis
  
• possible autoimmune diagnosis
  

There are many risks women take during pregnancy, lots of OTC and prescription medications, sugary processed food cravings, manual labor, ect. that pregnant women take but there is so much stigma around a medicine that was formally illegal. I feel like society is starting to give pregnant women a little more grace in how they choose to treat their symptoms. I wouldn’t condone daily intake of any recreational substance but I see a very small amount of a plant medicine to specially use therapeutically, should be a choice women should be able to make and speak honestly about without fear of being reported. Would a therapist be required to report a client who admits to occasional, small dose, therapeutic pot use?

In need of a roommate in small duplex who is okay with a great Dane & cat rescue Female preferred roommate needed. Age doesn't matter as long as you love pets. 2 bedroom one bath small duplex with yard. Rent would be $400 plus shared utilities as they are billed. You are welcome to use my furniture, kitchen utilities, pots, silverware, towels. I don't care if you smoke just do it outside. Yard is fenced with little porch. I would be covering the cost of lawn care. I'm looking for a roommate to move in ASAP in Red Bank Tennessee. Room comes with a nice computer desk & has a closet. I have a 1-year-old Great Dane and a cat that I adopted in our neighborhood. She's very chill and stays out of the way and hangs outside most of the day. You would have to bring your own mattress as room is empty besides the computer desk. Wooden floos, dishwasher & washer and dryer

TL;DR: Ex-boyfriend(39M), Jake, and I (33F) re-connected after a month with little communication. We set up a call for 6:30pm. During the call, Jake mentioned hanging out, but I still needed us to address issues from our breakup. The morning we split, around 2am, I woke my boyfriend up when getting out of bed to pee, and then again when informing him that I was going to go outside to smoke. Once outside, Jake opened the door to inform me I wasn't welcome overnight anymore if I was going to be awake and disrespectful, and then kicked me out to drive 45 mins home. His reasoning is that he has a dangerous job that he needs his rest for to keep a fatal mistake from happening. He insists that I'm ignoring his boundries because of my refusal to accept that I was disrespectful at his house. AITAH?
(Sorry for long post!)
After a month+ with minimum contact, the ex-boyfriend(39M), Jake, and I(33F) re-connected via text message a few days back, and then this morning Jake asked for us to talk, so we setup a call for 6:30pm this evening.
The majority of the call was fine up until Jake mentioned the possibility of him and I hanging out sometime. I then brought up the fact that I still needed us to work through things that happened the morning I broke up with him (through text, yeah, yeah, I know).
Onto the issue: Reddit, AITAH for keeping my (ex-)boyfriend awake throughout the night when he works a dangerous job?
The morning of, 2am-ish: I stir in bed, and Jake is passed out. I needed to take a wiz and was feeling awake, so I slipped out of bed, which woke him because he is truly one of the lightest sleepers I know. I whispered my apologies and crept downstairs, grabbed a quick drink from the kitchen, and tiptoed into the bathroom. I do think I accidentally stirred his mom awake for a moment after I went down the stairs, as she was asleep on the couch in the connecting living room—she lives at his place.
I probably wasted 15 minutes playing on my phone while on the pot, but I was restless and awake. Curse ADHD and primarily working night shifts! Or something like that? Either way, it was super early, and I knew I was going to feel awake for a while, so I settled on the idea of going outside to smoke and keep the brain gremlins happy. Knowing Jake would prefer to know where I was, I slipped back upstairs, stirring him once more (which likely would've happened when crawling back into bed anyway) to tell him I would be outside to smoke. He seemed to 'okay' it from what I could tell, so I snuck back downstairs, dipping through the hall to the backdoor, doing my best to unlock the screendoor latches quietly, and once the doors were closed, I settled on the porch chair.
Not even two minutes later, Jake swings the back door open, stating that if I was going to be at his home, keeping him awake and being disrespectful, I would not be allowed to stay over on weeknights. I was confused and stunned, trying to form some sort of words as he abruptly left, only to return 10 seconds later, having changed his mind.
I needed to leave now.
Quickly and while saying very little, I gathered my things and left, making the 45-minute trip home after being kicked out of my boyfriend's house.
Two hours later, Jake messaged to make sure I made it home, so after confirming life, I asked, "Can we have a relationship talk this evening? You prefer in person, correct? I can come there or you can come here." He thought nothing more than a text conversation was needed, but I persisted that this was a much bigger issue than he was making it out to be. Though seemingly reluctant, he agreed to have me over, until then replying, "Why do you need to come all the way here just to apologize?" After that, he said I couldn't come up for us to talk.
At that point, all the wind had left my sails, and if Jake wasn't willing to help me keep the boat from sinking, why should I? With the next text, I broke up with him: "You were a whirlwind romance, and I adore everything that we've had together, but our needs in the end are too different. Thank you for having been my partner, but this relationship is not something I am able to continue further. I wish you all the best."
A few texts were exchanged between us over the next few days, but what silenced things was when I sent a detailed text message of my feelings and experience from that morning, and Jake replied:
"I had to sleep because I have a job. My mother had to sleep because she has a job. You were disrupting my home and keeping everyone in it awake. I have a dangerous job. If I don't get enough sleep and I fuck up at work, I could die. I could kill the people around me. You were endangering my life and the lives of my coworkers. If you wanted to be awake, you could do that at home. You were asked to leave so you could go be awake where you weren't disturbing anyone. I solved the problem. I was going to prevent the problem from happening again by telling you that you would have to leave before bedtime in the future. I don't see the fucking issue. You make it seem so fucking dramatic but what it boils down to is "little baby [OP] didn't get her little way. Whaaaaaa. My feelings" Honestly, fuck your feelings. You didn't give a fuck about me or my mother getting enough sleep so we could go to work but I'm supposed to give a fuck about your feelings? Fuck you you self-entitled, self-centered, sociopathic, bitch. Grow up, grow some fucking empathy, grow some ability to recognize the rights and feelings of others. You are a truly trash excuse for a person."
After that message, I said "best wishes" and blocked him.
Back to the present: After that call at 6:30 p.m. today, I thought for a while and realized I needed outside opinions. With a shrug, I messaged Jake about an hour after the call, proposing he post his side of the story on Reddit, and if the majority says I'm in the wrong for my actions that morning after 2:00 a.m., I'll own up and apologize. With that, I can get over my "obsession" with this topic, as Jake has begun calling it.
His response to the idea of making a post, and the next few messages from me, were comments on how I'm selfish and inconsiderate and that I "have absolutely no ability to recognize nor respect the rights and boundaries of others" because of how I disrespected him in his home—or maybe it was the thought to post here? He questions why I'm not moving on and why I'm beating a dead horse over and over; pondering if my ego is "really that tragically fragile that you can't accept even the slightest possibility that you may have done something "wrong?""
As he seemed to have no interest in making the post after all of that, I simply stated to him that I would make the post instead. Now with all that said, Reddit, AITAH for continually waking Jake up when he needed his sleep for his dangerous job?
Edit to add: I do agree that his sleep is important and very much needed. The reason I had opted to wake him to let him know of my plan to go outside was because he would have been upset had I gone out without saying anything. Smartest choice? Looking back, no, probably not. Either way, the reason I am so bothered by the whole situation is in the way it was handled. There was no warning. Everything went from 0-to-100, from Jake saying "okay" to "you need to leave now" within a span of 5 minutes. I know I can be a lot to handle with my need to discuss and question a ton, and if I really did screw up, I will more then willingly apologize, but to be kicked out of your partner's home the first time a mistake was made, unwilling to discuss the disconnect between us? I'll accept my judgment on the question at hand, but I don't feel like I'm the only one here who is the AH.

Hello, and assalaamu alaikum all,
I am Damon Stengel. I am posting my story because it will have a significant impact and it will help many who are doubting or hidden ex-Ahmadis among both born and convert Ahmadis.
I am a former convert to Ahmadiyya and I was very passionate in Tabligh. I want to share with you all my story.
I was once a very fanatical and fundamentalist Ahmadi. I would call ex and doubting Ahmadis cowards and munafiqs for speaking out against Jammat. All that changed with the past years. This is the story of my secret ex-conversion. This is the story of how I reclaimed my true self once more:
After I joined the Jammat in my late teens, I was excited. I felt I finally found the truth I've been searching for all my life. I was getting, what I thought were frequent true dreams. I frequently read books so I can debate and refute opponents.
Gradually, and growing older, I slowly ran into a problem: There were some references that seemed to go against Mirza Sahib and it was causing me to doubt. I convinced myself that I can find answers for these allegations because it is true, some objections to Jammat are complete lies (not realizing at the time not all are lies).
I increased my reading of literature, but some of the doctrines of Jammat seemed to conflict with the doctrines of traditional Islam like the seal of Prophethood. Reading Aik Ghalati Ka Azala seemed to clear up my confusion but it began to turn into cognitive dissonance.
I nearly left Jammat in 2019 because I began to embrace my more skeptical side again, but it took a phone call by my mentor to stay with the simple words: "Did Huzoor ever lie once?"
with no Nida audio at the time, I had to say "No.", And then, I had a revival of blind faith, diving deeply into religious fundamentalism of the Ahmadi kind. I was ready to by way of Majazi (pun intended) to throw hands with anyone that spoke out against Jammat or those who are hidden ex Ahmadis. I fed lies to myself that I did find the truth, it was just me hanging out in the company of skeptics so I chose to hang out with fundies on Twitter.
Because I felt this was the truth. These was the lies I constantly told myself. I told myself I am the Prodigal Ahmadi convert and man, did I take Tabligh to the extreme just like Razi does. I can definitely see why some of you may have thought I was a Jammat plant sent after ex Ahmadis
I remember I made a really long article years ago saying converts already explored the world and therefore they're better than ex Ahmadis because they went into the world whereas converts were already in the world, but found the "truth".
How wrong I was! Because as I grew in more knowledge of Ahmadi literature, I also began reading a lot of secular and non-Ahmadi Islamic literature as well.
I consistently found the stuff I've read to not match up with the teachings of Jammat or that there were so many contradictions, I couldn't answer allegations. Part of it was because I didn't know Urdu, and my Arabic was sloppy.
So I began gradually learning Urdu and improving my Arabic. After becoming married, my Urdu improved a lot. a family member from my in laws gave me a hand in pronunciation of Urdu letters and words. I would say Ghora (horse) was the most difficult but I can just barely do it slightly better than a born Ahmadi raised here in American. I picked up on basic Urdu really quick. So it helped me with reading some literature.
I improved my Arabic as well. That's when I realized Jammat was purposely mistranslating some passages such as Haqiqatul Wahi on Majazi prophethood.
Once I asked Razi why we don't have a good translation on a Quranic verse and the Arabic says differently, and he indirectly called me arrogant and accused me of knowing Arabic better than Huzoor so I chose to keep quiet. I started questioning again later
When a Bhai came out to me as an ex Ahmadi, I ran to Razi. Razi told me to cut him off and I did. I continued in my religious fundamentalist phase and then I cut out all the ex Ahmadis in obedience to Jammat saying to not hang out with them.
And I would delete my social media and then come back with new account and make articles refuting allegations. Yet, deep down, that cognitive dissonance I mentioned earlier continued to increase. I studied logic and fallacies to try to help myself, and i slowly realized Ahmadi arguments are ridiculous and Razi is very manipulative in his Tabligh.
Then, Mohammad Abr Razack showed me a different side to Muslim Dawah and he seemed like a very decent man, even if I may not have agreed with him on everything. same with talking with Sohail Ahmed, Reason On Faith, his mannerisms definitely resembled that of an Ahmadi Muslim, socially.
I continue and continued. The homeopathy and other social media controversies rocked my faith as Kashif Bhai can attest. whenever Kashif Bhai would confront me on these things, I would avoid.
when I first started seeing Kashif Bhais posts on homeopathy, I chose to ignore it. but then I saw the backlash of the fundamentalist Ahmadis. I tried to reason with one in that they shouldn't be harsh with Kashif Bhai but I got rebuffed and accused of being a coward and so I chose to retreat and not participate.
wasn't really until a year later, I somewhat got a bit more vocal about my fundamentalism on homeopathy but even then I wasn't directly confrontational. only that me and Kashif Bhai butted heads a lot in DMs, and that's when he told me some stories of his treatment by some figures in Jammat. I chose to ignore at the time.
still, I got married and I had my kid. After another bout on social media, I took a year long break.
I left to focus on family but also because my identity crisis was at an all time high, and my own behaviors were causing problems in my marriage. There was also a point i thought of suicide because I had two conflicting realities and identities (Ahmadi-fused me vs. the real me) in my head. I eventually started seeing a therapist for unaddressed childhood trauma and that changed everything about my perspective on life. I learned new techniques to manage emotions and my relationships.
I returned to social media with newfound empathy for others and I intended to be the perfect Ahmadi. That's when I approached a couple ex Ahmadi brothers I used to talk to before they left and patched things up. I even patched things with Bashir Shah (even if I still don't always agree with his approach).
Little did I know, it would be the end of me being Ahmadi.
When I saw Craig Considine's post about pro Palestinian protesters and accusing them of BS rhetoric, I got mad and so did a buddy of mine from Texas. He published a blog against Craig and I posted it to social media. That's how Craig was able to get a hold of it.
He disassociated himself from Ahmadis and many tried to reason with him and others called him out. I fought with a buddy of mine who kept blindly defending Craig because "Huzoor loves him" (that Muslun guy I had an exchange with today lmao; i called him Batalvi Sahib haha for his religious fanaticism).
Slowly, I realized Huzoor may be misguided.
I spoke with my old ex Ahmadi friend more and more and I spoke with his cousin as well. Both of them I looked up to as role models in my early years of Ahmadiyyat (and I still see them as such) and was sad to hear both of them leaving but with my newfound empathy of seeing good in others from therapy, I knew they both are still great people.
What made me disown Qadiani Khilafat was after reading the Shahatul-Quran or testimony of the holy Quran by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad. It presented a very different picture of Khilafat and he said it's eternal and will last until the day of Judgement. That contradicts Jammat doctrine of him declaring prophethood in 1901 and then , contradicts the supposed doctrine from the Wassiyat that Khilafat will be established after his demise.
I told my friend about it and he told me to look at the Lahori versions of Correction of an error and the will. I saw for myself the numerous references where Mirza sahib did not claim prophethood but only by way of metaphor. He was a saint claimant. Nothing more and that it was Khalifatul Masih II that invented the doctrine that his father was a prophet
I began questioning why we say "alayhi salaam" after the title of promised Messiah, as if he's on the same rank as previous prophets before Rasulullah (saw).
Knowing this as well as previous controversies regarding the 200 million Ahmadis thing in 2001, and then reading the Khilafah nabuwwah minhaj Hadith in depth (which Qadianis use to promote their propaganda), I knew their Khilafat was false.
Then, I finally had the courage to look up the transcript of Masroor's call with Nida Sahiba and I was disgusted. I've read the entire script of that call. Having studied psychology and psychiatry on and off for years, I remember there was a part of the transcript I've read in both English and Urdu where Huzoor told his niece that she should've screamed when one of the people she was accusing raped her.
She thoroughly debunked Huzoor and said that therapists say that everyone has a different trauma response and her trauma response was freezing. Which is true because adrenaline is our evolutionary survival instinct. It is either fight or flight. Many rape victims freeze for safety reasons lest they escalate the situation further. I felt that was very ignorant of Huzoor to say those messed up things to her, and I was happy I disowned the Caliphate because so many convert brothers went up to me to ask about it for years, and I gave unsatisfactory answers or made up excuses. Now I know the truth.
let me make it clear: Some have countered that Nida couldn't prove her case to the courts. however, I would refer them to articles that say we need to change the way courts view rape victims: https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx
"Morabito says more resources, public education and policies that encourage prosecutors to bring cases to trial are needed, although it may take time to change public opinion.
“Maybe if more of these cases were tried, we’d break down those myths and see more of what sexual assault cases really involve,” she says."
anyways,
I continued to believe in Mirza sahib but held the Lahori position, but I began to question his claim itself. I read about the fabrication of Daru-Qutni and I realized it's actually technically a dishonor to orthodox Islam to quote a fabrication that disrespects the scholars who proved fake Hadiths are not to be used.
my two ex Ahmadi friends continued to share with me their skepticisms in order to show me the falsehood of Mirza sahib. When one of them showed me proof that the red drops revelation happened in a bathroom, I without question, disowned Mirza sahib as well.
I felt relief. As if a heavy weight and burden was lifted off my shoulders after nearly 10 years. The whole reason I was Ahmadi for so long was due to my ego. I didn't want to admit I was duped. I didn't want to admit I converted out of youthful naivety.
when I first started meeting with the Ahmadis, my gut instinct when I originally hung out with the Ahmadis was to read all of Mirza Sahib's literature and then make a decision, but a Murabbi told me if I keep waiting, I'll go to hell. So I made the decision in haste and did bait. Never did I admit this in any of my stories
I've always had a skeptical side of me and I embrace it fully now. this is why my conversion to non-denominational Islam isn't really complete either because I have no intentions in trading one religious dogma for another. I have chosen to embrace my old agnostic atheism once more.
actually, these views of mine were always such for years. unconsciously, I was always an agnostic, but I just chose to not consciously acknowledge it. yet, I'm free at last, my story is very similar to many other ex Ahmadis and doubting/questioning Ahmadis in here.
I'm gonna tell you guys straight up, my soul left jammat a long time ago. I only just admitted it to myself a few weeks ago, and I embraced the true me.
I realized in a sense (even though it was my own choice and free will out of a false passion) that Jammat indirectly used me for their propaganda. I wanted to imitate Razi and be in the same league as him, and damn straight, I sure am in the same league as them from both the perspectives of Ahmadis and those who disagree with them.
Many ex and more open-minded Ahmadis (such as Kashif Bhai) called (indirectly) me ignorant of the facts, naive, head-in-sand, and a product of religious indoctrination. I realized how right they are. I fell for the same cult vibe just as the one I grew up in-Pentecostal Christianity.
Now, the very person that was heavy against ex-Ahmadis and questioning Ahmadis online for years and said he's better than them, has found the truth, is now himself, an ex-Ahmadi because he grew in emotional intelligence and empathy for others.
It's ironic. Both convert Ahmadis and ex Ahmadis have so much in common in regards to opposition. I, out of all people should've understood the most of why ex and doubting Ahmadis think the way they do. But now I truly understand.
Viewing myself as the "Savior and Prodigal Convert Ahmadi" for people who doubt and it was definitely taxing on my mental health. It was just pure ego. Nothing more.
I thought I could "save" other Ahmadis, but I couldn't even "save" myself.
Except I saved myself from religious indoctrination and possible insanity
You can lose friends and family n stuff, but if you lose yourself, that's the worst feeling ever. Ngl
These are my views summarized:

• I am an agnostic atheist. I still choose to socially follow Islam
  
• no religion is absolute. Every religion is a philosophy, but it offers one a very limited lens to look into the reality and phenomena of things
  
• growing up in a dogmatic religion (Pentecostal Christianity) and experiencing yet, another, I am not a big fan of religious dogma as it caps our natural critical thinking abilities. It limits us to one view and that's not good for mental health.
  
• I've embraced my real and true self after burying him for a long time under the excuses of dogmatic religion
  
• I've been doubting and having cognitive dissonance for a long time. I've just chosen to acknowledge reality a few weeks ago, and then officially announced.
  
• I despise the Desi culture in Jammat and they're going to inevitably gossip about me now that I freed myself.
  
• I believe in scientific progress, and my lens on the world are viewed from a scientific perspective.
  
• While I admire Islam, I don't believe men are superior to women nor do I believe a 50 year old man should marry a 6 year old (or 9 by Jamamt standards). Sure, it was the customs of the ancient times, but we don't live in the ancient times anymore. We live in the modern era. Marrying a child is disgusting
  
• all humans are agnostic one way or another
  
• a god is possible but there is no convincing evidence for any personal God
  
• all religions preach the same evidence, same doctrines, same amount of prophets, same amount of gods
  
• Ahmadi Muslims claim to get true dreams but so do Christians and other Muslims, as if God was in a competition with himself
  
• I love philosophy and currently studying more of it
  
• we should treat our current world views like a scientific theory.
  
• Let me elaborate, it may not be an absolute truth but our evidence confidently lead to the conclusion that this thing explains the phenomena of these happenings
  
• I often meditate to center myself and I focus on the present and "is". This has helped me to reconnect with my true self
  
• I am a cultural Muslim as I still don't eat pork, drink alcohol, smoke weed, and I still occasionally recite Quran
  

In essence, my views are very similar to my views from before entering the Jammat, in that, I believed all religions had the same amount of gods, same amount of prophets and same amount of books, as if God(s) were in a competition with Him/themselves.
That's my view on this world again, and if anything, history has repeatedly shown religious dogma causes stagnation in communities. openness to other views and perspective and intermixing is key, and I just dislike how Jammat and the nizam say we need to get back to "the core teachings" or "don't worry about what others are doing. focus on yourself and your connection to Allah and Khilafat.", this completely ignores the reality of the problems in Jammat like the rape scandals, rampant and judgemental Desi culture of excessive gossip and defaming, stagnation in the education of its members (being the former Nizam Taleem of MKA Baltimore), most converts leaving after converting because they found no love in the social structure of Jammat or it's too dogmatic, no one is enthusiastic about Tabligh or Taleem, Jammat encourages calling people and "being their friend", but people see through the B.S. behind that. Jammat has grown stagnant and refuses to hold themselves accountable for fear of a ruined reputation despite the fact this philosophy ruins their reputation further. it sounds to me as if Jammat is like an insecure narcissistic man who never takes responsibility for his wrongs and always blames the other person.
Ameer Sahib always lectures the people of Jammat in the Jalsas of how sad he is about the bad tarbiyyat of Ahmadis or those not joining the Wassiyat scheme (and I speak as a former Moosi, so no one can lecture me here), but he only presents himself as someone judgemental and not someone that speaks with humility. it seems it's just another speech about low turnout. maybe instead of lecturing everyone, might be better to reform the institution from ground up? perhaps Musleh Maud's system no longer works in this era. or that it needs great reforms to better progress the community. there is too much of a social hierarchy in this institution and it's filled with those who have no real understanding of the struggles of Ahmadi youth.
don't get me started on the Noah's ark rhetoric and how Jammat presents it. Everytime I would ever read that book or listen to excerpts in speeches or zoom calls, I'd feel guilty and like a peace of trash. especially with Masroor Sahib saying a nuclear war is upon us soon. I feel this is a cult because more chanda is being demanded. more guilt tripping is being made to gaslight members into blindly following. I saw a child cry in their parent's arms upon hearing what Masroor Sahib said about "World War III is here." why would you expose a child to that??? that's terrible mental torture and I felt bad for them.
That's all I got for now.
Everything else has been explained here:
https://x.com/LAhmadi25/status/1796569889802768775?t=RAQ9GWfQObLXIsY0tSN_8w&s=19
Sincerely,
Damon Stengel, The Ex-Ahmadi Convert

On 5/17 I 28F relapsed after 7 years and injected methamphetamine. I blew the vein and it quickly swelled. (Been sober since, no worries there, I'm scared to do it again now) On Sunday 5/19 it was extremely painful and red, so I went to the ER. They sent me home with oral antibiotics. On Monday, 5/20, I went back to the ER as my entire forearm was swollen and red. They admitted me, I went septic, 1 had a ton of vancomycin. They sent me home on a weeks worth of Bactrim. Today 5/31, I had an ultrasound to confirm it had not turned into an abscess. The radiologist diagnosed is as a phlegmon. It has made significant improvement after finishing the Bactrim. It's less swollen, barely red, however, still looks pretty bad. From everything I'm reading, phlegmon is extremely dangerous. It can turn necrotic and deadly. My doc wouldn't call me back and it's a Friday evening, so I won't hear until Monday. He prescribed doxycycline but there were some hiccups at the pharmacy and now it's in the mail and probably won't be here until Sunday or Monday. I went to urgent care, they sent me to the ER. So l have a few questions. 1. Have I made it past the danger point since I already went septic or am I at continued risk? 2. Since it's improved, will it possibly continue to improve without more antibiotics? 3. I read that generally you need a combination of antibiotics to get rid of phlegmon, will just the doxycycline be efficient?
28F Height: 5’3 Weight: 185 Smoking status: vape daily Medications: vraylar, lithium, adderall Duration and location: 2 weeks, right arm Sorry, it’s not allowing me to post a photo.
Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.