Edit: The downvotes have begun but hopefully that means people are reading till the end too. Will have to try the BridgertonRants sub as that seems more accepting of discussions and debates. : )
Would super appreciate it if everyone reads this long-ass thesis of a post with an open mind and to the end...its me being vulnerable in an anonymous reddit sub because i think these things matter in the larger framework of a uniquely special show and the big, bright, beautiful, multicultural gorgeous world we all as humans live in. My last post in this sub was downvoted to hell which btw totally ok...and i dont depend on reddit currency for my livelihood so its all good. I just care about my posts being read...specially this one.
Some context:
I'm very new to this community and reddit as well. Currently have time off work and going ham on reddit and venturing very scared into the deep dark of world of rabid fandoms and small niche communities. Getting a little burnt along the way but also learning from some super talented fans with their own eye-opening ideas and funny posts. Fans of all kinds, Im peeping into profiles, so white, black, brown multicolored rainbow of the world right here.
I'm also an aspiring writer and well...some of my best ideas have come from reddit lurking on cool and active subs with bridgerton sub being new for me. Jet lagged, anxious and just a tad bit antsy, I'm trying to go down and deep and maybe open some deeper discussions here.
I am Indian and lived primarily in India my whole life and now for the last 10 years between London and Canada (why am I sharing all this like and am I also going to tell you my weight, my height etc too...No but hopefully you'll understand this revelation as you read ahead without me spelling it out)
So I've been trying to figure out why fan wars as they pertain to this show prick so personally, so particularly.
I think fandoms anywhere in every country are full of insane people, obsessive chronically online people who find comfort through living through their faves..your beyonce stans, your rihanna stans, your Taylor Swift stans, your harry styles stans, your k pop stans, etc etc..
This show also has some rabid fans..But there is a conversation I want to open up only because I think it's important...Is fighting extra hard for your poc fave because you know their representation in pop culture is limited, their getting jobs is limited, subconscious biases exist even though we have been making great strides and even eradicated overt biases in employment, in accessibility, in government service etc etc ..and their culture not as dominant, their worlds not as seen or coveted.
Our ideas of beauty are framed by the extensiveness and longevity of colonial rule across the world.
there are shit people across all ethnicities religions and genders and nationalities. Barbarians, conquerors, invaders, pillaging villages raping women destroying livelihoods suppressing the peasant class, mutilating and diluting cultures- exist in Africa, the Indian subcontinent, East asia, middle East etc so not just Britain. Basically being brown, black or East Asian and Middle Eastern doesnt grant you moral superiority over white people and you can be racist and casteist and colorist and bigoted and biased and just all around shitty and criminal as a black, brown, east asian middle eastern etc etc person just as much as white people.
So now that thats settled, lets look at specific issues that POC only face because that eventually streams into the show and its politics and its discussion as well.
But for whatever reason ...the British were able to colonize on a scale that the other countries and ethnicities were not able to.. African and the Indian subcontinent's conquests and invasions were limited in area and time period...their scale of conquest limited to a small radius around their own countries...and not foreign lands travelled via sea etc.
As a result and only as a result and not because and I cannot emphasize enough that black, brown or east asian invaders, rulers etc were morally superior, kinder, less assholes...the culture that became dominant was white british culture..or european culture...if Indians had conquered the world, they would have imposed their culture on the lands and countries they invaded, if different African countries invaded the world to the extent of the british colonists, same thing...the dominant culture that would have been forcibly imposed by the people of african ethnicity would be their culture... Black skin would have been considered beautiful, white fair skin would not have been the standard....thats history....thats something we know to be true even through modern wars...the victor dictates...But that simply didnt happen.
it's not because t Africans or Asians or basically non white people are morally superior, more virtuous, incapable of terrorist acts or colonizing or I don't know were like we don't invade and conquest, we so good. But because that's history. They just didn't manage it. thats simply our current historical reality.
Being that the country or countries that did manage to conquer the world or close to 9/10ths of it were Europeans or more specifically British white nationals..which means as would happen even if another nationality had managed to invade the world, the culture that is dominant across the world is a west/white slanted world..
Colorism as a concept didnt exist until colonization: Why would it? If everyone existed under the same harsh sun, had the same skin color with minor variances...why would they think fair is more beautiful. Its because they wouldnt...the first blond haired blue eyed people would have been introduced to India via early traders of east india company in India and dutch colonists before them...Its like if everyone around you is brown, you assume thats just how everyone else looks like...thats the only reality you know...you simply havent seen anyone look any different..you havent seen blue eyes or anything else....same for africans and within that framework as humans are wont to do you create ideas of beauty.
So yes. POCs across the globe had just as arbitrary ideas of beauty as white people (chiense mutilated young women feet cuz small feet more beautiful, in africa genital mutiliation) because humans are humans and humans mess everything up...and animals are so much better...but color as a construct is a colonial one and one which managed to find deeep deep roots because of the extent of the rule, the sheer longevity, For context, India has been independent for the last 75 years..from over 200 years of colonial british rule...Not even the length of the life of a single human. Not even as long as Britains former queen was alive. It will take some more time for that in fighting and ideas of colorism deeply penetrated from the inheritance of our rulers to get dismanted...and totally thrown own...because you can freee from literall bondage more easily, the mind takes longer to adjust and form independent thought. But it will happen.
White people are not more or less racist than POC. Thats not a thing. There are shit people and you can find shit people anywhere...I have shit people right in my own home country, bigots, destroying the diversity of India by bullshit tactics...
But as it stands...because this cultural superiority of British and white people took over, the framing of beauty, of whats fashionable, of whats cool, of whats civilized is all seen through the lens of white culture...eating with hands which many cultures across the world do uncivilized unhygienic, paris fashions and made in italy...mark of excellence...made in India and China...cheap, low quality, scammers and shit people, (thats not to say shit people and scammers dont exist in India and China and there arent industries of scammers across these poorer nations but there is also denying the equisite craftasmanship across fashion and beauty in both countries-China and India.
Brown skin bad, even darker skin even bad etc etc...We wear clothes that our colonial masters did across the world, you wont find people in china wearing Chinese clothes, same for India, african countries etc...everything from clothing, to beauty, to furniture, to houses everything indigenous was changed to a foreign ideal from our rulers. The same would have happened whoever whichever ethnicity had invaded the world...like i said above..
Now and thanks for reading whoever read till here and I hope a lot of people did-on to to the show...
There is this frequent refrain and accusation of oppression olympics that I read about when it comes to this show, in general online discourse and also this insanely disgusting article fat shaming Nicola Coughlan in The Spectator.
And i really really want to open up this conversation...cuz race gets discussed a lot on this sub and other bridgerton subs and therefore a perfect place to have that conversation...Do Non-POC really believe in the concept of oppression olympics and that all kinds of biases are equally treacherous to navigate?
So I was overweight in my teens...I had a close friend who was wheelchair bound. my life was hard and I was bullied but surely surely I do not think that my plight was the same as my friend in a wheelchair...In class 10th, a close friend's father passed away, the same year my grandmother passed away, surely, surely, I dont think we are experiencing the same pain the same setback to our life...Class 10th in India is akin to A levels in Britain and SAT in the USA..
You know why I didnt think any of this and why if I had i was wrong, because there is a hierarchy to opression, .to loss, to struggles. There simply is. Opression Olympics is rooted in reality.
Pain is pain, loss and bad foundations suck ass...but privilege is a thing and some pains some loads just lighter compared to others. I could lose weight and get over the oppression I was facing because of my weight in school. My wheelchair bound friend didnt have that option..I wouldnt get my grandmother back...but my fathers loss would have a more immediate affect on my life and my friend who lost her father and her loss was just simply deeper. She needed more support, more help, more people crowding around her saying you've got this Niharika..well make sure your life doesnt change permanently cuz youlve lost your dad.
So when show fandom compare Jonathon Baileys struggle to Rege Jean George or say Victor Ali, they are simply pointing out that yes while Jonathon Bailey is gay...there is a difference between being white and gay and being black and gay or simply harder being black. And therefore there is a hierarchy. Why POC are less loath to crticize the average acting of their POC faves because they know the opportunities for them are limited. Lets do an exercise name 5 shows led by a POC in the USA or Britain or Canada-any POC..brown, black i dont care. And im not talking about black or brown actors in a show or film, im talking leads...
Also biases are self perpetuating....When black or brown led films fail, the opportunities immediately dry up because it shows that its just fairness and the numbers dont lie..Except this is not maths.....Maths would be first making equal amount of shows starring black or brown people, and then comparing...Now if the end result is white led shows do better-that would be correct math...but ratios and comparisons and statistics need to first start with an even scale...thats not even me taking about diversity...thats just math formulas...
If lets say there are 500 actors who are white in hollywood and 200 who are Black in hollywood, and lets say all 200 black actors are shit...would you say the statement...god white actors are so much better than black actors...no cuz the maths is not adding up...you compared 500 actors who were white of which 300 were excellent 200 bad and you made that into the conclusion that white actors are better because you were comparing only with 200 black actors to begin with...the actual math formula yieled equal number of bad and good actors..
Why people defend Kanthony harder...or wanted Simone Ashley to be promoted as much as Polin is because (lets go with my Math analogy again) all things being the same) unless Nicola and Luke are really bad actors compared to Simone Ashley, theyll still have it easier in acting...they simply will. they wont have to change their confusingly, long foreign sounding name, they wont have to work at assimilation in other ways, lets say they were muslim they wouldnt have been trying hard to sell themselves as Im just as liberal as you, im not a threat. And I love Luke Newton and Nicola Coughland-both seem like throughly, likable, personable, kind hearted beans..
Now my own experience. I have stated in an earlier post on this sub that I'm a Shonda Rhimes fan...because I have personally benefitted from the diversity she has included so naturally, so elegantly in all her shows. My own ideas of beauty, have been tested and transformed. In fact I know exactly the moment it happened...watching Christina Yang as a 14 year old...and thinking god meredith is so beautiful and I want to see more of HER and Izzie but then seeing christina again and again and again over each episode over hundreds of hours of binging, school, college, masters, big move outside India, my own constant this show..my brain was soft mushy and impressionable and christina yang, korean Sandra Oh became suddenly but actually slowly and then all at once became beautiful to me...I dont know when it happened but like the book Colin telling Penelope I dont know when or how and why others dont see it but you ARE beautiful in the book carriage scene. I found her hot, I found her cool. I cared to learn more about her Korean mother and her Jewish father and it didnt matter that the show never covered that culture..Christina was atheist and could handle her shit..even around racists.. But I still wanted to learn more about HER..a woman I simply didnt think was beautiful comparable to meredith and Izzie..me an impressionable 14 year old..just made that turn because of a show.,..a fluffy...not that deep soapy as hell show.
But it was only possible cuz I saw 24 episodes day in day out,...over many many years....for that to happen. I had many more years of falling asleep to dawsons creek joey and dawson, joey and pacey, gilmore girls rory and jess rory and dean rory and logan..i imagined and dreamt of windswept Mr. Darcy...and of course I luckily had my own countrys pop culture cuz I grew up and lived in a country where I was repped plenty eveywhere... So i found bollwood heroes hot and I found White americans or british people hot...my brain simply didnt have a framework for East Asians hot. And I needed to seem them constantly and frequentlyn and in Hot front and center, desirable covetable-their culture, their families all respected, admired again and again and again over many years for that switch to happen.
So why do we fight for our POV faves.. fight hard (some fight really ugly too which....they are not my people ( as in I dont know them) so sorry for that)....because we know how much more repping they need...we know how much MORE MORE MORE important it is to see POC culture done right...because it simply is not accessible,...cannot be to people outside..
K POP is making waves super..., people love themselves some MANGA and kimchi...so good and progress...but a lot of countries pop culture is in the native tongue...people outside of it cannot access it...in the same way one would English language content-books, podcasts, news, films, shows etc etc. And hollywood does our culture wrong, played up for laughs, stinky curry, stinky indians, scamming Indians, uncivilized heathens, oh so funny that Sofia Vergara and her funny accent (The Ellen Show), niche shows that dont become popular behemoths because it stars all ethnic casts-Fresh Off the Boat.
You simply will not understand how brilliant and gorgeous my country's embroideries, temple art, clothing and fashion, actors and sculptors, museums and writing and authors are...not because YOU are racist..but because you dont speak-my language and my culture isnt dominant or wide spread enough-insert again-my above explanation of colonialism and dominant and suppressed cultures. History made one culture the most widespread...again not because white people = bad and racist...brown and black people = good and not racist and benevolent..but because some people simply were the victors...for centuries...plural.
We want to fight harder for Rege and defend him leaving the show (im not even black but when you live outside of your home country, all POC seem like a united underrepresented group and you find kinship everywhere) because any potential cancellation or quote unquote unlikeability and hes difficult accusations would hurt him far far more than Nicola Coughlan, Luke Thompson, Newton, Phoebe etc. for the same "crimes" And there just arent enough of us to begin with to lose even one. For what is quite honestly a mid Netflix show with seeds of promise but a lack of ambition.

First off, I'd like to adress INVERSE NARRATIVE
It happened with GME, it happened before and after GME, and it's happening here. Let's start with a guy named Anton Kreil who does an excellent seminar covering inverse narrative here https://youtu.be/L7G0OfJUON8?si=fJhExnk1HAAa4JXG&t=3526
OK, OK, You probably arent going to watch it. I'll summarize by asking you a few questions.
Who pays for the ads in your brokerage apps? How do they make money?
You got it! There is a vested interest in you LOSING money because there is two sides to every trade, a winner, and a loser.
So what do they do? Simple. They flip the narrative upside down, they LIE to you.
B-B-But, these investment articles would never lie to me!
Wrong.
Want proof?
Lets look at an article snip posted by InvestorPlace posted 5/21
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Faraday Future Intelligent Electric (NASDAQ:FFIE) is gearing up to report fourth-quarter earnings on May 28, 2024. There’s no question that the electric vehicle (EV) producer has surged to impressive heights recently on the back of last week’s meme stock rally. But in one week, investors will learn what the company’s financials really look like. Before the noteworthy short squeeze that lifted FFIE stock last week...
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Lets break down some of the psychology:
A.) We already had a strong suspicion if not downright knew the earnings was going to be negative news
B.) The short interest increased 3 fold- What squeeze exactly?
They might as well have waved a big red pair of shorts as a flag that said they were GOING TO SHORT THE CRAP OUT OF EARNINGS
Another article snip posted from before earnings? SURE no problem!
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
"As noted, FFIE is in the green today, but not by much. As of this writing, it is up about 3% after constant volatility throughout the day. This is in keeping with how trading has been throughout the past week, with shares dropping 20% from their rally-driven highs."
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Notice the tone of the article has a clear bias.
Saying things like green BUT NOT BY MUCH, and DROPPING 20% from the rally driven highs.
Wait wait wait, it's a little ODD that they don't mention that the stock was at time of writing up over 2,400% AFTER that 20% drop.
I cannot stress enough how you simply cannot trust the news feeds regarding your investments and this is why I commonly source the sec.gov official government source.
Oh yeah, rockets🚀🚀🚀
PUT/CALL Ratio of .43
Ok had a ton of questions regarding this so I'll do my best here, but it may get a little technical.
It means we have way more open interest for call options than put options
a call option is the right but not the obligation to buy shares at a specific price point by a certain expiration date, and is a bet that the stock price will go up
a put is the opposite
So we have wayyyyyyy more sentiment to the upside
a ratio below 1 is quite bullish
a ratio above 1 is bearish
and 1 is neutral
So more people are putting their money onto leveraged contracts that the price goes up than people are putting their money on leveraged contracts that the price goes down
If those leveraged contracts are ITM (in the money) on expiration date, and not OTM(out of the money) then the market makers will have to hedge the delta because of the gamma pressure of ITMs
Which can cause a whole ass different type of squeeze, on market makers if the open interest becomes great enough
This is known as a gamma squeeze.
We like squeezes🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
The only caveat is that for the options to influence market makers' hedging behavior, they need to be ITM (in the money). If the options are not ITM (i.e., the stock price is not above the strike price for calls or below the strike price for puts), then they will expire worthless due to theta decay (the loss of value as the expiration date approaches)
The impact on market makers occurs when options are ITM, as they may need to hedge by buying the underlying stock. If options are not ITM (i.e., OTM), they will simply lose value due to theta decay and expire worthless, with no significant impact on the underlying stock price.
Call options that are in the money are our friend for another reason:
If calls are exercised the shares must be recalled.
But why is this relevant?
If a brokerage has lent shares to shorts that have covered calls against them, and someone exercise those covered calls, those shares must be recalled to ensure the call writer (the OG that took out the covered call) can fulfill the delivery to the contract holder.
Ok, back to Anton, Remember Anton? He is a former Goldman Sachs trader, he would know Goldman Sachs playbook- right?
I'll give you one guess who had short positions on FFIE ;)
And the last bit I'd like to go over is that Looking over the SEC filings (specifically the 13F) of citadel I noticed something... interesting. They now have call options on FFIE.

Apologies for the wall of text. This is half venting, half desperately seeking other opinions on what is happening because I feel so confused.
My partner and I have been together for almost 6 years. Around year 2 we started having very explosive arguments that haven’t really gotten any better despite our best efforts. While the issues that cause the fight eventually get resolved, our communication never seems to truly improve. Sometimes it gets better, but almost always reverts back to its worst. Over the last 2 years I have been starting to feel that there are very clear signs of abusive and manipulative behavior that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I started reading the book “Why does he do that?” By Lundy Bancroft, and it has finally put words to some of the ways I have felt mistreated throughout our relationship. The book is almost 20 years old and can be a bit dated at time, so I take everything with a grain of salt and have been doing independent research about things I felt were applicable to me.
My partner, let’s call him Max, is for the most part a loving, caring and highly sensitive person. He checks in on me all the time and is so in tune with my emotions that it amazes me. He has always made me feel cared for and is the least judgmental person I know. When we are not fighting, he really is a wonderful & generous partner and we go through long stretches 2-3 months where things are great. I know this sounds like the cliché reddit post where the OP is like my relationship is PERFECT and then goes onto describe a very far from perfect relationship (& maybe this is my wakeup call that that I'm being that person right now). But really, outside of arguments, we have a great, & still imperfect, relationship filled with so much love.
Over time we have gotten much better at bringing up things that are bothering us in healthy & fruitful ways (we are both ex-people-pleasers so we struggle with voicing displeasure). However, conflict has ensued we face the same issues. When he gets angry he becomes a completely different person. At times it takes a lot for him to get angry- especially at times when we are having an argument where there is seemingly no resolution and we are both emotionally exhausted, and probably should have taken a break a while ago. More often though, the anger comes out very quickly, and seemingly out of left field. Often times it is the tone I use, or how I communicate that causes the initial conflict. What is confusing for me is that his perception of how I said something feels so far from mine. This happens often enough to where I feel like I am walking on eggshells, to the point where I usually monitor my tone and how express things pretty closely. I also have autism & ADHD (what a fun pairing), so my words & tone are often misinterpreted. In general I try to be careful about how I speak to others & even more so with especially Max. Max is neurotypical, so at times it feels like we are speaking different languages- I try to be intentional with how I speak in our conversations so that we can both feel understood. I want to mention that I also have my own triggers, trauma and unhealthy ways of communicating, and I know that I am equally at fault for the initial lapses in our communication. I usually have no objection to the original conflict, what worries me is how the original conflict is then seemingly used as a reason by Max to lash out in anger. The argument that happened recently opened my eyes to some of these things. Here's a brief synopsis:
We were unloading groceries and I was simultaneously reorganizing the fridge. Max started moving things around in the fridge looking for something, not knowing that I was currently reorganizing. Here is the conversation that ensued (almost word for word, I know tone is hard to interpret from text, so I will try me best to explain):
Me: “Aw, I just reorganized that shelf.” Max: “Don’t speak to me that way.” (abrupt) Me: “Speak to you in what way? I’m just want you to not move around stuff in the fridge because I'm organizing it.” Max: “why are you so emotionally charged right now?” Me (slightly confused and feeling cornered): “I’m not emotionally charged. Try to speak to your own experience, what are you feeling?”
This set him off. I could have said it nicer or more empathetic- but at this point I was already registering conflict on the horizon and feeling anxious. I asked him again to talk about his experience and how what I did made him feel. This is something we have discussed with our couples therapist about not assuming the other persons emotional state and rather keeping it in the “I feel (blank) when you do (blank)” structure- which can be annoying but it does help reframe how my actions affected him.
He couldn’t answer this question, so I then asked, “what tone in my voice did you perceive?” He then said that I should know the tone and know that it is unacceptable. At this point, I think he thought I was playing dumb which made him angrier, but truth be told I was unsure of why my tone or request had angered him, the reaction felt out of place. I thought my delivery was even keeled, albeit I would have improved the delivery or maybe just not said anything at all if I could go back in time.
I could see that he was hurt but I was also feeling confused and annoyed because I felt as though he was taking his anger out on me. It was hard for me to be the most comforting and empathetic person, though I was still trying to redirect the conversation in order to better understand what was happening for him. The first segment of the argument ended pretty abruptly after that, with him yelling, hitting a wall and then kicking an empty box across the living room and locking himself in the bathroom. I followed in an attempt to comfort him. He let me in and I held his hands and asked him to tell me what was going on, knowing that he was really struggling & feeling empathy for that. He was able to then talk about why the experience was triggering for him and how the tone and delivery reminded him of his mom (who he has some trauma with because she was extremely anxious, uptight and demanding of him in his childhood). Once he said this I broke down crying.
Now, an interlude for some important context. Max's biggest "theme" in our conflicts is that he often struggles to feel understood by me. We have had extensive conversations about how I can work on making him feel understood through mirroring, and other specific communication exercises. I try to put these into play, though I do struggle because his style of communicating can feel very unnatural and even ingenuine to me- it feels like I am reading from a script. In the last year, when I am expected to respond, I get immense anxiety that is attributed to a pressure to preform. I start to feel that if I am not able to show understanding in the way that he expects, the argument (& his anger with me) will get worse & I am the one to blame. There is anxiety tangled up in the idea of failing him & failing myself, then frustration with myself for not being able to do something that should be simple, and then even MORE frustration because now I feel like a selfish bitch for making everything about me when it was suppose to be about Max. This all becomes debilitating at times. Resulting in intense anxiety attacks or waves of feeling so overwhelmed I can't speak. This is what happened in that moment.
Max saw this was happening & immediately switched gears. He told me it was okay, and that he didn't need understanding in that moment. He comforted me and I felt seen and loved & also felt pretty terrible that the attention had shifted to me. I told him I felt guilty about this & he reassured me it was okay. Speaking from a place of insecurity and fear, I told him that I was scared that my inability to show understanding in this moment would be held over my head or weaponized against me in a later argument. There have been several times where I have shared a vulnerable feeling with him and it has been used against me in moments of anger, so the fear comes form a real place. Again he reassured me that wouldn't happen. We took a break and sat down to talk about it later that day.
This was the start of a 3 day long discussion and several arguments. I don’t need to summarize everything but in those days here are the things that struck me as definitely NOT okay & possibly abusive:

• Assuming/ telling me what my emotional state is (i.e. "you're clearly frustrated"). Then I try to explain that I am do not like bring told what I'm feeling, Max uses phrases like "why are you so emotionally charged?", "why are you arguing with me" & why are you so defensive?" constantly. It's a catch-22, he decides that his perception of me is truth, and when I try to clarify, I am told I am defensive. There is no correct answer to that question that doesn't make me look more defensive. It makes me feel like he has no interest on what I am actually feeling.
  
• If I specify something he is doing that I don't like, he makes sure to police everything I say in order to prove that I do the same thing. The conversation then becomes focused on what I am doing and saying wrong. In a later conversation, I mentioned the point above. He said it made complete sense to him. For the remainder of the conversation, anytime I made an assumption, not about his feelings but about ANYTHING. For example, I was explaining how when he hits walls it is scares me. As an example I referenced Bancroft's book & said that hitting walls would objectively be considered an "act of violence" (which I realize objective may not have been the best word to use here). In response to this he said that assuming that hitting is objectively (verifiable information based on facts and evidence) an act of violence is incorrect. Then tried to find examples where hitting is NOT an act of violence (the one he brought up was if it was for a play/acting). This continued, anytime o brought up a feeling, he would correct all the assumptions I was making & not once did he address my feelings after that. It felt like a way to deflect and avoid accountability.
  
• Interrupting constantly until I stop talking completely. Once he hits a certain threshold of anger, the tactics to end the conversation, regain control and/or anger me become similar to those in the schoolyard when we were kids. This one is pretty simple- if I try to say ANYTHING, at the mere sound of my voice he will keep interrupting me by yelling the same phrase (common phrases include "I don't care", "sucks to be interrupted huh?", "shut up"). This one happens a lot and is often times how an argument ends.
  
• Hitting things. Hitting walls, surfaces, kicking boxes around. I never thought he he did this to scare or physically intimidate me. However it does scare me & I have shared this with him. His continuation of this action tells me one of two things: either he just doesn't care or he actually is trying to scare me.
  
• Weaponizing personal or vulnerable things I have shared with him. Remember how he said he wouldn't weaponize what I had told him earlier about my fears? Well, he did. When I things started heading south he made a comment about how "Not that long ago you we're sobbing to me in the bathroom about how much you 'cared about making sure I felt understood' (said in a mocking impression of my crying voice) and now you're-" I cut him off at that point and called him an asshole (not my best moment) for doing the one thing he reassured me he wouldn't do. He tried to retract what he was saying and defend it, but I stopped him because I knew in my gut what he actually wanted to say would cut too deep for me.
  
• In conjunction with this, he also says incredibly hurtful things. In our last argument he flat out said he didn't love me. In the past he has told me I am unreliable and irresponsible, using things I struggle with heavily due to ADHD (such as answering phone calls, being places on times) as fodder for why I am not a good partner. ADHD is NEVER an excuse and I have worked so hard to overcome the less-than-ideal aspects of my executive dysfunction. Nonetheless, these items are soft spots for me that I have shared with him. He has also said that I am egocentric & way too emotional because I cry when I am overwhelmed (I do cry easily, whether it's because I am overwhelmed, sad or even joyful- crying is good for the soul!). He says things that are usually a direct attack on my character & they are always specific to things that I have mentioned are really deep insecurities of mine. It feels specific enough to where I have started to suspect he says these things to tear down my confidence and make me feel undeserving of respect and fair treatment.
  
• Later mocked me by referring to himself as "physically abusive" because I am so afraid of him "hitting" things. Dramatic use of air quotes were used for both of those words.
  

The list continues but I think this is a fair snippet of actions that could potentially be seen as manipulative or abusive. I am confused on whether or not he is ACTUALLY abusive or if I am just making something out what are merely just unfavorable communication tactics.
My therapist has mentioned that Max seem to have narcissistic traits (which I don't really believe) and abusive tendencies. She has shown real fear for my situation and has actually advised me to not say and share certain details of my life with him out of worry for me. This is part of the reason I stopped seeing here, because I felt her assessment was a bit unfair since she had never spoken with him.
I have stopped talking to almost all my friends about my issues with Max because a majority have shown strong displeasure with his actions & I often times feel like they pity me. Max also stated that he felt like my friends didn't like him, he has hinted that this may because I tell them a biased retelling of our arguments. No matter what a story will always be biased, so I opted to stop sharing with my friends and encourage Max to hang out with us more as a group. I think a lot of my friends like him more now, but I can't help but feeling isolated because I don't have many people to talk to this about.
My one friend who I really felt comfortable with sharing these issues with has even recently advised me that based on a recent argument that maybe it's time to move on.
Our couples therapist (who we have been seeing for 1.5 years) is great in most regards, but I don't feel like he has taken my concerns as seriously as I want them to be taken. He has told me separately that he does not believe Max is abusive.
I have laid out all of these actions to my couple's therapist & to Max on several different occasions, and I am feeling defeated. When Max isn't angry we make so much progress & I even feel like he is less quick to get angry. But once the anger starts all the healing and work we've done just doesn't seem to matter. In those moments it's hard to tell if he even sees me as a person- I feel more like an obstacle that he needs to defeat, or a scapegoat for his negative emotions.
Are these the warnings signs of an abusive relationship? Is the abuse already happening? Are we in a toxic relationship where neither of us can break the cycle? I'm not don't need any definitive answers, but would really appreciate any feedback I can get.

Some Family drama has gone down that has resulted in my partner & I speaking with a couple we haven't spoken with in the entire time we have been together and finding out some information. We will call them Lucy and Todd.
Note: I won't be reffering to anyones family titles as this will be too obvious Instead I will give them all names.
Lucy and Todd have had a falling out with a couple people (Zac & Cheryl). Zac & Cheryl have been making Lucy and Todd look bad by playing the victims when they are equally, if not mostly responsible for the events thats transpired.
Lucy & Todd reached out to tell us their side of the story. Whilst explaining everything in detail they happen to mention a sister inlaw, we will refer to her as Helga.
For some context my partner and I have been together for 8 yrs and for a whole 7 plus years I have gone to family events etc. and felt like the outsider. Noone would talk to me, I always had a feeling something was wrong. I would always reach out to Helga who seemed so nice & she was close with the whole family, so I confided in her and told her my concerns or had general chats. Note she was the only one in the family that would give me time of day.
So last night upon talking to Lucy & Todd (who used to be very close with Zac & Cherly till recently) we found out before every family event Zac would say to Cheryl, Lucy, Todd & whoever else was around, that we will not talk to (me) over and over again. & this adds up with how the family events went. Then Lucy & Todd said one time they laughed at something I said and Zac grilled them for it.
I have never done anything to Zac, Cheryl or anyone in the family in the 8 years I was there, so to find out this was happening 8 years later you can understand that myself and my partner are shocked. The last 6 months have been good and I finally felt accepted into the family after close to a decade of rejection.
First time the family started being nice was when Zac needed something from me. He was sucking up my a** like you wouldn't believe. Because I worked somewhere that could have huge benefits to him/them. So I went along with it, gave him quotes etc. After speaking with Todd & Lucy I fond out Zacs speech went from "do not talk to her" to "be nice as pie and suck up her a**". Which is what happened at the following family garthering because of what I brought to the table. Note: I am not silly, I saw the shift, I just wanted to ride the wave out to see where it was going.
So Todd and Lucy added some context to these speeches Zac was giving everyone. Apparently I hurt Helgas' feelings somewhere early in the piece. I have never directly done anything to Helga. The only 2 issues I had with her (I have to keep the details limited) were one time I caught her put in n a lie twice and addressed it with her. The 2nd time I was grieving a loss and confided in her and told her not to tell anyone. Being the the big mouth she is, she told everyone, I found out and got upset. In both senarios I believe I was the one treated poorly by her not the otherway around.
But Helga had the whole family wrapped around her finger & she could do not wrong. And as I just found out, EVERYTHING I said to her was spun, twisted, manipulated and blown out of context to make me look like a terrible person. I wasn't even saying bad things but she made anything I said look bad. So now we found out the reason the whole family hated me was because of Helga, always putting fuel on the fire.
My poor partner, he looked up to her, she was around since he was a teen & she made his life hard. He couldn't enjoy family gatherings or anything. & it makes sense, she would plan most of the events. Everyone would reach out to her like she was a gate keeper.
Well Helga being the lovely person she is cough cough, screwed her owm life up when she decided to tripped on her bosses banana & kept happening for a year. In her & her husbands bed. To say the family was shocked would be an understatement, how could little miss perfect do this. Well along with that the trust is gone and the day the whole family found out I was finally welcomed into family.
Also she called up someone else crying that my partner and I blocked her. Another lie. At this point she's a compulsive liar and maniputator. If you ever see a middle aged woman with heaps of friends, nice as pie, thats her.
There are so many details, but at this stage I don't want to make it too obvious. The last bit might as Idk how many women do that but we shall see.
Helga is a horrible person, don't be like Helga.

Hello fellow politically-interested people, so the purpose of this post will be to talk about the West Virginia Senate election this year, the West Virginia state political lean broadly, and the recent announcement that Senator Manchin (D, WV) has switched his party affiliation to Independent and is potentially going to seek reelection.
Having said that, we should first set up some context, the state of West Virginia is the second reddest state in the country (per the widely respected PVI rating system), only behind Wyoming, though unlike some other hard-right states, West Virginia used to be a pretty solid Democratic stronghold, their people are historically very pro-worker, very pro-union, in part because their state's infrastructure (as well as much of the country, we'll get to that) was built on the backs of the working class coal miners, the specific history of that would validate a whole post in its own right (the scrip system, for example), but suffice to say that West Virginia has fairly progressive roots. When we consider how they voted for President historically, they voted for Roosevelt all of his elections, they voted for Truman, they voted Stevenson the first time before switching, they voted for Kennedy both times, then Johnson, then went red again for a while, then Clinton was able to bring them back into the coalition (possibly suggesting a centrist shift), but they've voted Republican by increasingly strong raw percentage totals ever since Bush 2000 (Wikipedia shows 51.92% Bush 2000, 56.06% Bush 2004, 55.71% McCain 2008, the only decrease, 62.3% Romney 2012, 68.5% Trump 2016, 68.63% Trump 2020). When we consider how they've voted for Senate, they had two solid, strong Democratic incumbents at the turn of the millennium, the other seat only flipping in the huge red wave of 2014, after the Rockefeller retirement. With that in mind, West Virginia also has the honor of the longest-serving U.S. Senator in history, Robert Byrd, who was himself a very popular Democrat from the state.
With all of this in mind, we should also talk about Senator Manchin, since his story represents a lot of what was previously stated above, his political origin point was as a member of the West Virginia State House of Delegates, where he won his very crowded first primary, very narrowly beating the incumbent (just 50 votes), before winning an election for the West Virginia State Senate very soon after, it was around this time that he started a waste coal brokerage company (which, predictably, made him very wealthy), after having solidified his resume, he tried to run in the West Virginia gubernatorial primary, losing to Pritt, who was a perennial candidate for Governor that eventually went on to lose the general election. With the turn of the millennium, the West Virginia Governor was once again blue, and at the same time, Manchin was elected West Virginia Secretary of State, soon after translating it to winning the West Virginia gubernatorial election shortly after, succeeding the scandal-plagued Governor who won in 2000, who resigned rather than seeking reelection, in what was sure to be a contentious and competitive primary vs Manchin for his seat as the state's highest executive.
When Manchin was in the West Virginia state legislature, he seemed to quickly build his profile and political resume, although performing some quick Google searches about what he was like as a state legislator won't yield any relevant results. What we have in his personal Wikipedia article from that time suggests that after narrowly losing the primary for Governor against Pritt (who later went on to lose the general election), he endorsed Underwood instead (the Republican opponent), suggesting even then that Manchin was always a centrist pragmatist. While his endorsement probably wasn't much at the time (and political pluralism like this was much more common), Underwood still won the election.
What his time as West Virginia Secretary of State was like is also pretty unclear, though we can see that he had fairly good political instincts, seeing his opportunity to ascend to West Virginia's highest executive office when he promised to primary challenge the scandal-plagued incumbent. While he was the West Virginia Governor, he sparred with Blankenship (a name that many of you may remember from this year's West Virginia U.S. Senate primary) when he threatened increased government scrutiny on Blankenship's companies owing to his increased political involvements.
Within this period, West Virginia Governor Manchin was also the chair of his party's Governors Association, a pretty high-profile position, wherein he spoke at the 2008 DNC, where he gave high praise to the Presidential candidate that year, Barack Obama. When he spoke on stage, he was pro-balanced budgets, pro-bipartisanship, pragmatic solutions to problems, spoke about "working across the aisle," all things that we've come to expect from Manchin in the present, then praising that Obama would bring the necessary change.
When he spoke he also spoke about his personal connection to his state, which gives an important indication of his political character, he admits that while he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth that he was a child of privilege, citing his grandparents and their immigration as inspiration to his personal story, suggesting that his story is the same as many other West Virginians who work harder than anybody to succeed. With his speech in favor of Obama in 2008, it was particularly surprising that in 2012, he refused to endorse either major party nominee (strikingly similar to the situation this year).
When he was Governor it also fell upon him to appoint the successor for the U.S. Senator Robert Byrd, who passed away in office after being in poor health for a while preceding his untimely passing. While the Senator was in poor health, Manchin had pledged that he would not appoint himself as the replacement (and indeed, kept his promise, instead appointing one of his close personal allies), but soon after ran for the open seat in the 2010 special election, where he rode the wave of his popularity while in office even in spite of a Republican friendly national environment.
What I think often goes unstated with Manchin (particularly when people were predicting whether or not he could win this year assuming he was the Senate nominee), is that he has previously won statewide office in Presidential years, specifically, he won the West Virginia Secretary of State's office in 2000, and then the West Virginia Governorship in 2004, both times when Bush won the state, he held onto the West Virginia Governorship in 2008 (not a hard year to win, McCain was weak), and then won the special election for his West Virginia U.S. Senate seat in 2010 before winning a whole term for the U.S. Senate outright in 2012, while the state has only shifted further and further to the right in that timeframe. While there are very fair arguments for why he would have struggled to win reelection, particularly that things are more polarized now than any time previous (political polarization has been rampant, especially post-Trump entering politics, and there's hardly anywhere more evident of partisan division than West Virginia), Manchin is pretty historically an overperformer.
While he has been in the Senate, he's pretty widely positioned himself as a "pragmatic centrist," particularly in more recent years, we've seen him oppose a lot of the party's priorities (he helped to try to sink Build Back Better when it wasn't up to his specifications), this is particularly notable since even other "conservative Democrat" Senators (one example that comes to mind for me is Heitkamp) would vote with the party position the majority of the time (the Kavanaugh Supreme Court confirmation vote is a perfect example of this, where Manchin was the only Senate Democrat to break with the party), he's pretty unique in that respect, many people attribute this to his state's partisan lean, as previously stated, it's a very hard-right state, positioning himself as too friendly to his party's agenda would surely sink his reelection chances (he needs crossover support), while that's true to a certain extent, he opposes a lot more often (though Heitkamp and Donnelly, similar to Manchin, all voted with Trump's stated position over 50% of the time, see this source from 538 where they tracked lawmakers in Trump's term https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/congress-trump-score/), so perhaps it's a matter of perspective.
While he has been in the Senate, he's ran statewide three times total (2010 special, 2012 general, 2018 general), when he ran in the 2010 special election vs Raese, succeeding his appointee, where he won 53.47%-43.40%, +10.07 points up, when he ran in the 2012 general election in a rematch vs Raese, where his win was surprisingly even stronger, he won 60.57%-36.47%, +24.1 points up, sweeping all but three counties towards the upper part of the state, when he ran in the 2018 general election vs Morrissey, after a short-lived primary challenge, he won 49.57%-46.26%, +3.31 points, in those last two elections especially, turnout among the voting-eligible population was below 50%.
When I've talked about Manchin, I've indicated that I think that he possibly would have been able to win vs Mooney, and it would have been very similar to when he ran for reelection vs Morrissey, I was often resistant to attribute the major partisan shift as evidenced by his percentage change that maybe even Mooney would have been able to finish him off, undoubtedly Manchin would lose on the spot against Justice (Justice had a very similar trajectory to Manchin for a while with the "conservaDem" image, so would undoubtedly pull from his support). What I was planning on was a longer post wherein I was going to talk about what Manchin vs Mooney would have been like, though there isn't too much purpose or utility to be gained since neither of them are the nominee.
With all of this being said, that leads us to today, where Senator Manchin has officially filed that he's identifying as an Independent, and where people are speculating that possibly he's entertaining running for his Senate seat in that same vein. When he first indicated that he would not be running for reelection, he previously suggested he would only run as an Independent candidate assuming Blankenship was the nominee, he threw the weight of his endorsement behind Elliott instead, who won the nomination. What I think will pose a problem for Manchin here is that while he's still liked by his party in the state (enough that a Manchinite won the nomination, and that Manchin's feelings about the nominees, preferring Elliott, hating Blankenship, holds some weight), is that, as I previously stated in a comment on u/RickRolled76's post on the YAPms subreddit, this makes Manchin appear unreliable and untrustworthy. Why would he endorsed someone very closely aligned to him ideologically that won the nomination, only to run against him in the general?
What purpose Manchin possibly trying to run for reelection in this case will serve ultimately remains to be seen, perhaps he's hoping that positioning himself as apart from the national party will yield him a preferable vote share (what I previously speculated), perhaps he can count on the support of the closely associated No Labels PAC (perhaps upon winning he will be the first No Labels affiliated Senator), he previously backed out of a Presidential bid with them.
What I think would have probably been the best plan would be if Manchin would have brokered some kind of deal wherein he would switch his affiliation to Independent but would run unopposed by the Democrats (think McMullin in 2022), at least in this way he would have guaranteed that the vote wouldn't be split between himself and a similar candidate when they both want to win the Senate seat, or at least keep it from Justice.
When people from his state have been asked (there was a particularly good series of videos on YouTube where this guy visited West Virginia to see how people actually are, occasionally asking about their political leanings), broadly the opinion I've seen on the ground is that the people there have been turning against Manchin, in their minds, he's linked with the party on the national level, which the people of West Virginia think "sold them out" when they switched from coal (West Virginia's primary industry) to other renewable forms of energy, there was never a plan for West Virginia afterwards so they were just left in poverty after they helped support industry in this country (something which Manchin called back to in his 2008 DNC speech), the state has tried expanding their tourism industry (owing to their pretty and scenic rugged mountainous topography), but whether that will solve their problems remains to be seen.
What I think this indicates is that the attempt at reelection would have been even steeper than previously indicated, he's respected by his base somewhat, which has been increasingly shrinking, but reviled by the people of the state, possibly rejected by many of them in favor of someone that embraces their political leanings (someone who aligns more closely with Trump or the Republicans).
While I find Manchin to be pretty reprehensible (this paragraph is a personal opinion piece), he's stood in the way of progressive agenda and progress for the people (his own people, in fact), he's positioned himself as an obstructionist, he's participated in closed-door meetings with megadonors wherein he was paid pretty substantial amounts to "speak" to them (really it was kinda sad how little he was able to be bought for, like IIRC it was a few thousand per speech, if you're going to take bribes then at least get that bag), I still wanted to intern for his Senate campaign, setting my personal feelings aside, protecting our Senate majority is of the utmost importance. While I think he's a pretender to the "Democratic" political affiliation, there may very well be some principle underlying why he does the things he does (when he speaks about his personal connection to his state). He's a politician through and through, however, so he's probably pretty bankrupt of any personal integrity.
When I was interested in his race in the past, there was an article which I saw where someone with a more personal connection than me (worked with his campaign in the past) indicated that Manchin is motivated by wanting to win, to some extent, he has an ego, a loss would be too embarrassing.
When you read his Wikipedia article, towards the end of what they have written for his tenure in the Senate, they have a quote that's attributed to Manchin, where when responding to Morrissey (his opponent that election cycle when this quote was attributed) he says "I don't give a shit, you understand? (...) I just don't give a shit. Don't care if I get elected, don't care if I get defeated, how about that?" While this might indicate the opposite of what I suggested just a little bit ago, perhaps as he's gotten older (he's 76 right now), his temperament has changed, now he's more easily angered.
With the Senate seat almost certainly flipping red later this year (Justice is the heavy favorite to win, presumably even if it's a three-way race, I can't imagine him getting under 50% even in that case), with Babydog going to the Senate, we're putting down arguably the last of the "blue dogs."

2442 angel number meaning is very unique. It has lots of spiritual symbolism, interpretations and they are all connect somehow to love and twin flame. If you have been seen the number 2442 recently you might be getting messages from angels!
For more angel number interpretations, check out our vibrant subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/AngelNumbersMeanings/
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2442 angel number meaning
2442 angel number is a combination of the numbers 2 and 4. But not only this, they appear twice in a special sequence, at the middle the fours and at the beginning and the end the twos. This is a strong message from the angels because the numbers are appearing twice. Maybe you didn’t paid enough attention to the previous signs you where getting. So this is your final chance to reveal the mystery behind it before it will go away and you will never see it again. There is a great opportunity that is waiting to be revealed.
Angel number 2: in numerology this number represents equilibrium in your life. You might have a quiet daily routine which is very good for you, there are no bad surprise or negative influences. However sometimes it might get boring to do the same old things everyday. The message of number two is telling you to have more fun, break the mundane course of life from time to time. For example go on vacation, travel in other destination and basically have new excitements to spice up your life.
However you should be very careful not to break the harmony. If you will go too wild you will be out of balance and it might have negative implications. You could end up in troubles that will change your life forever in a bad manner. Use your intuitions and brain to separate the good from the evil and you will be just fine. Don’t let the fear from the unknown to prevent you from achieving your life’s dreams, wishes and goals.
Angel number 4: is about working hard. Yes, if you want to be successful in your career you have to take it seriously. The road to success is usually very simply if you follow the basic principles:
First there is a need to determine the main goal, in most cases it is related to what kind of profession to choose. It is very crucial to make the right decision before you invest time and money in a certain life path. Also make sure you choose something that interesting you but also that is paying a nice amount of money. Remember angel number 2? You should balance those preferences if you want to be happy and wealthy as well.
The next step is to get formal education, gaining experience and climbing at the cooperate ladder. It usually takes lots of time and you will have to be very patience until results start to come. Number four symbolizes the hard times which are a head of you, don’t let it to discourage you.
2442 angel number is related to other goals as well not only career. It is a universal spiritual code for going after what you want whether in occupation, love, relationship and recreation, just say yes to new opportunities. There are not limits to what you can do in life, all options are in front of you. Any problem we might have is because we have fear, busy or because we don’t believe we can make it. Be a dreamer, see the possibilities and most likely you will manifest your desires.
2442 angel number symbolism
2442 angel number symbolism can be interpreted as a dialogue. It means a dialogue with yourself or with people.
Regarding inner reflection it is similar to thoughts or a little voice inside the head who is whispering you. The content of the self talking mechanism is actually the wishes you want to make true. In this manner it is important to have aspirations but more important to have positive thoughts and not negative ones. The angels are trying to tell you to stop bad self talk. In fact they are sending you good thoughts via 2442 angel number, so take is a symbol of your mission.
When it come to interactions between you and people around, wether they are closed to you like a lover, family and friends, or if they are just an acquaintances or co workers, you should have skills like a sales person or a leader. The angels reveals your place in relation to people, usually it indicates a place of power. So you are or going to be a big part of something. Maybe manager at work, head of team in sport or other recreation hobby. The angels are giving you the responsibility on others so you must be ready. Ready to understand their needs, to make sure nothing wrong will happen and more important – whatever you in charge of to continue to advance.
The symbolism of angel number 2442 is about motivation. Therefore define how much you want something to become real, what is the reward in the end of the assignment and will it be worth it? Old habits must be change if you want to win new opportunities, part of the journey is to invent yourself from the beginning. There is no need to change the entire personality or life, but little adaptations here and there are inevitable.
The spirits from the other world send you the number 2442 because they encourage you to focus on one main thing right now. Whatever you choose, be an expert on it. For example if you would like to know more about spirituality, do what it needs to learn about it, practice meditation, participate in workshop and consult gurus and masters. However, don’t neglect other areas in life, keep in mind that there are other important things in life other than chasing the dream.
Another symbolism of the specific angel number is a long way which you have to go. The numbers 2 and 4 are relatively small on the scale of 0 to 10. So the timing position is relatively in the beginning. Sometimes it might be overwhelming to realize how much challenges are in front of us. The secret to carry on is to the divide the grand mission into smaller chores and every time to complete one of them on a regular basis. In this way you will not loose valuable energy and won’t be too tired.
The angels are here to give support if needed, if you believe in the existence of messages from souls, than it will make you stronger and keep on motivated. You didn’t come here by a mistake and there is a reason why number 2442 keep on entering into your reality.
2442 angel number spiritual meaning
2442 angel number spiritual meaning is about the belief that there are no random coincidences. Every person on earth has a purpose, some godly mission he or she has to accomplish during the time. If we will manage to do it successfully, than we will be rewarded in this life but also in the afterlife.
Not everything yield instant gratification and in most cases we are not being aware of the reward. Furthermore the possibility of something good or positive to transpire is very high if you keep on the elevated vibration and an open mind. That said the angel want you to open your communication on another level. The spirit world is operated on energies and not on logic and analytics.
And yet there are many recommended exercises and techniques to help you to understand and be closer to the target. For example lucid dreaming, astrology, talking to psychics and reading books about divination and fortune telling. It doesn’t matter which psychic root you choose, and you don’t have to be the best mystical person in the world, just to be more connected from an energy perspective.
The angels sent you the number 2442 because they want to help you be more spiritual. One of the best ways is to be less depended on technology and material objects. Go back to simple life. If you have clothes or any other items that are no longer needed through them away or give them to charity. Avoid continue being friends with those who don’t spread good energy. Eat healthy food and spend more time at nature, it will make you less stress and tired. It is also a good exercise to do some gardening and other natural handcrafts as carpentry and sewing.
Volunteering is another way to increase your spirituality. Not only you will get the chance to do something meaningful and help to those who really need it, but it is the fastest way to generate good karma. By give aid of any source you are actually helping yourself. The good deeds will come back to you in one way or another. You will suddenly feel very lucky and will have good temper.
By helping others you become an angel and the cycle is closed. 2442 is a mirror number because it’s assembled from 24 at the start and 42 in the end. It gives us the clue that you are supposed to be a reflection of the angels` mission. So if you want to be or have something give it to others. It sounds counter intuitive and maybe confusion a little bit, but give it a chance, you have nothing to loose and the whole world to gain.
One more spiritual meaning of 2442 angel number is to build a believe system on a stable ground. Spiritual development is not a trend, on the contrary it has lots of philosophy, meaning and actual implications. Many people says that spiritual development doesn’t work, it happen to them because they didn’t understood or assimilated it correctly in their daily life.
2442 angel number in love
2442 angel number in love is very promising. The number two indicates a very sympathetic person. Someone who is really caring about his or her spouse. It can be boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. If you or your partner is somehow connected to this number, than it reveals a tendency to be the perfect lover.
However there are some caveats with high emotional persons. They tend to be offended very quickly and sometimes without any warning, a sudden sad temper is coming and you don’t have too much what to do about it. They are also easy to manipulate because they are good individuals and trust everyone as second nature.
Number 2 denotes long term relationship, and to be more precise, the angels reveal through number 2422 that the relationship is going to become much deeper. As a sensitive person it is very difficult for you to be far away from the people you love including friends and family. You can not imagine your life far away from those people. The values of the family and tradition are very important in your opinion.
If you are currently in short term relationship or a single man or woman who is searching for love, you have to realize that 2442 angel number is a sign for a long term relationship. Therefore when you meet new candidate it is crucial to see if he or she is compatible. Couples who are the complete opposite from each other will not survive together, it always end up with break up, divorce, arguments and fighting.
If you are looking for a compatible partner than according to numerology you should look for a person who has the number 1 or 3 in their destiny. Number 7 is also a good match but only for love and not for friendship or as a business partner.
2442 angel number consist the number 4, in love and relationships is it less preferred and it might cause some confusion. So before we get into the consequences of having number 4, please keep in mind that you have to balance and find equilibrium between those numbers combination.
People who were born with number 4 in their spiritual path are holding secrets, they are not very opened and generally are not interested in short term relationships. Their mood is sway frequently and you will never know what is on their mind. Furthermore they will not follow rules as a default, they more concern about their needs rather than the others. In general they are takers and not givers. So if you want a mutual beneficial partnership you will not find it with them. It will be very difficult for you to build a valid love relationship.
Therefore 2442 angel number encourages you to decide as soon as possible what kind of love relationship you want to have. After you will make the final ruling, the angels will be able to work on making your wish come truth.
2442 angel number twin flame
2442 angel number twin flame is about good connections. The angels want you to remember that they are never wrong. If you met a twin flame than it is your fate, the universe is never wrong, it brings up people into our life because we have to be together. It is not only about us but there is a broader scope which is linked to more factors here on earth.
Therefore if you encounter some difficulties in a relationship or love, don’t hurry to break up or getting a divorce. Do everything which is required to save it. Don’t go back to the old days where you have searched endlessly for a soulmate. Now that you have found it the mission is to cherish it, when it comes to destiny there is no second chance.
Not every person in a relationship is a twin flame, so if you are getting angel number 2442 but you feel that something is missing, than the individual you are with is not your twin flame. So the interpretation is to leave him or her, don’t waste time and energy in the wrong correspondence and let them go, because sooner or later it will happen by itself.
If you are single and keep on seeing 2442 number than your twin flame is near by. You don’t have to take too much action at the current moment, don’t go every night on a date. Just relax and let the angels bring the special person to your circle. However you have to do one little thing if you truly want it to happen – be ready. Sometime we are too occupied with other things like job, money and family, that we forget there are more things on life other the daily duties.
So in the next few days or months, try to spot the opportunity, a twin flame can be someone new who is entering into your life, but it might also be someone you already know and share common interests with. In numerology repeating numbers like: 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, and 99 signifies a couple, mirror reflection, double message and twin flames. The more there is a repetition the closer is the manifestation. 2442 angel number has this characteristic, so the angels have already grabbed your attention, now you need to walk on the right path.
2442 angel number numerology significance
2442 angel number in numerology significance that you are not quick enough to make decisions. Wether it is a big decision or a small choice, you are scuffling to make up your mind and decide what will be the next step.
The angels want to make it easier for you to pick the best option because right now you are stacked. You have put specific issues or maybe all your life on hold until you will realize what you want to do. This blockage is preventing you from being fulfilled. There is an immediate urge to wake up, don’t procrastinate because in the end someone will make the choice and it will be better if it will come from your side. Be responsible for life don’t let others to dictate the future because it will surely be something which is not that suitable for you.
What does 2442 number meaning in numerology? It considered revealing sign of low self esteem. This is where the angels are stepping in, they want you to know that they are actually guarding angels and that they are watching you far from the sky. They want to bring you good fortune and success, but you have to be decisive. If you are on a crossword and doing nothing but sitting on the side than nothing will happen.
Yes bad things might occur, this is a part of life and you shouldn’t be afraid of it. A failure should be treated like a lesson we have to learn and nothing more. Many successful people, even famous ones, had so many failures in their careers but no one is even mentioning it. Hence don’t live in illusion that everything will be handed for you, there are still major steps to take.
A positive sign of angel number 2442 is the energy of the sun, it delivers happiness, optimism and positive thinking. These factors are important when you need to decide, don’t think only about the worst case scenario, dedicate some thought and ponder what good things might occur as well. Remember that one negative thought will generate another one and before you notice, your head is in a negative loop which is hard to break.
Instead think about good things like angel, because 2442 repeating number is actually related to archangel. Archangels are more important messengers because they are much closed to god or the higher spirit in the hierarchy.
Your lucky day is Monday, so according to numerology, if you have something important to do it will be better to do it on Mondays. This will ensure raised vibrations within the actions and might generate good outcomes.
2442 angel number and 4334 2525 2828 2444 2626 4141 numbers
2442 angel number is also related to these sequences of numbers: 4334, 2525, 2828, 2444, 2626 and 4141. They might come together or instead of 2442. here are the spiritual meaning:
4334 angel number meaning: a change need to be done. The way you live life is not optimal for your needs. Something just doesn’t fit together and you don’t have a sliest clue what it is? Try to do things differently and you might see an improvement in the near future. It also denotes a change in your house or living condition. Maybe the apartment is too small or too noisy, maybe you need to move into another neighbourhood, city or country. A quick fix can be found in the wisdom of Fang Shui.
2525 angel number meaning: is also about change as 2442 but it is more related to the past. Create the present without living the traumas of the past. Set yourself free from worries, because if something bad has happen to you in the past, let’s say 10 years ago or when you were a little kid, it doesn’t have to occur again. You have the control and you are in charge. The one thing that is holding you is the bad memory. With NLP, Neuro-linguistic programming you might be able to release those patterns of thinking and vision brighter future.
2828 angel number meaning: you should create a plan and follow every tiny detail until the end. This number is about success in money, work, business and career. If you want to be rich and you are seeing 2828, forget about scratch tickets, the angels are saying: “use your skills”. You are entering a phase which is not related to luck, randomness or coincidences. Be resourceful, because everything you need is close to you and will be a good use or a tool to prosperity.
2444 angel number meaning: is to be more connected to your energy. Like every human being you have weaknesses and they are producing a different kind of energy, you can feel and detect when it comes. Angels are writing a memorandum of transformation, instead of wasting efforts on controlling the negative vibes use these energies to create something productive.
2626 angel number meaning: is to take a break from the daily routine. There is too much grinding and it would do you good to rest. Try to cut the hours at work, spend some quality time with friends and family. Go dancing, to a night at the pub, concerts, watch movies, spa and any other activity which will uplift the spirit. However to make the biggest change, learn meditation which is the ultimate relaxation.
4141 angel number meaning: you are looking for guidance. There are some things you would like to do or achieve and you don’t really know how to get them and where to start. The angels will send you a guide or two that will aid in manifesting the goal. It can be someone very smart with lots of knowledge, wisdom and experience. But it might also be someone who is a free spirit and loose. Don’t judge them by the way they look, as the famous quote says: “don’t judge a book by its cover”. By contrast, listen and learn from what they have to say.
Repeating 2442 angel number sacred signs
2442 angel number don’t have to repeat itself exactly every time. In fact it usually represented or hidden inside different combinations of numbers. Here are more variations of 2442 angel number:
2: represent dichotomy between two strange ideas, good or bad or actual substance. This will force you to choose or to make a decision. In most cases you will not be able to solve a problem by combining it. You will have to take a side and let go of something. This is ok because the angels are there to assist you.
4: is about traditional values and being a serious person. It usually related to being an adult, and leaving the childhood phase. The angels are leading you to a new phase which will force you to be responsible.
22: also appeared is some way on 2442 angel number. It is a bridge between the past and the future because the number two appears on the beginning and the end of 2442. Experiences and good memories from the past are good and will transform your future to maximum results. But every person has also past grudges which needed to be put behind.
24: an artistic figure usually related to painting and creating wonderful music. Number 24 encourage you to explorer your creative and artistic side. It denotes a sense of aesthetics and beauty.
42: the wish has already granted. The angels know exactly what you want and will deliver it as soon as possible. Your task is to keep the faith, hope and believe in the universe or cosmos. Don’t ruin the chance by believing everything is lost. One more little effort and you are there.
44: get up in the morning and continue exactly with the endeavours but during that time maintain an open communication with the angels. They will unfold some illusions and false information that might be misleading.
224: don’t just dream find the road to make them true. Take the appropriate measurements to generate real assets in life according to the origin of your desire. For example if you would like to have your dream house than have a steady plan on how you are going to raise money for it.
242: meaning is to put yourself in the front line. No more hiding you can manage life from home or from the darkness. Let the world know what is your special talent or gift, interact with the cosmos and don’t be too passive.
422: is about choosing the right career path. It doest apply only to college students but also to those who are working at the same place or profession for too long years. Maybe you had enough and the current job is very boring, so seek something else.
424: a warning to be more economic. Wether its money or relationship don’t be mislead by keep on doing something you are not fully complete with. Go after the things you really want and not for those that someone else expects.
2244: denotes you have to wait. Things are not looking very positive so you have to wait, it will be cleared and the near future.
4422: the world will provide all the basic needs, you have been destined to develop spiritual awareness and psychic a abilities.
4242: something new is going to enter to your realm it is very close because the number repeating itself. The angels are also much closed to you, maybe you will be able to spot one of them.
4224: implies negative vibrations that should be taken out of your life. There is a demand to clear the air if you want to be more vital, healthy and happy.
2442 angel number in the bible means to wait. It also has an additional biblical interpretation which is similar to fishing. So it reveals that you need to put a certain effort and being patient till the result will come.
2442 angel number can be seen in many places, here are related searches for this number:
Countries like uk and usa - united state.
In Hebrew, English, Espanol, Chinese, Japanese, Korean books or dictionary index.
One zero eight nine verified phone number, car or bus license plate, color code, calculator, chart, random number generator, youtube video, zodiac sign lucky numbers like Virgo,
Urban streets: Ocean avenue, Broadway, stefi trail Oakville, ocean plaza, central ave, iowa avenue, rice street, kuhio ave, credit valley road, Quebec, queen road,
quail ridge dr, Queensway north bay, quetico crescent, quarter hill rd, qld postcode, qx 2442, qx2442usb, wright ct, w Mississippi ave, w Harrison, w arthington, w fillmore st, west lake of the isles parkway, w lasalle Springfield mo, w polk, wave way Skaneateles ny, w foster, eastridge loop, edgewood trace, edgar street, e pierson st, e 75th st, elden ave costa mesa, e Osborn rd, e 79th st, elderberry ct, elliot ave s.
rice street, ransom ave, rivermist ct Naperville, rim oak, rose arbor drive, raggio ave santa clara, rockhurst road salina ks, Rebecca drive racine wi, route 37 cherry hill, tusitala st, trailside lane Wauconda il, tom polk ave, tangier dr Kissimmee fl, trillium ridge road, tilghman street Allentown pa, Tremont place Denver co, tall timbers trail, topside dr auburn ca. and many more…..

Vibhajjavada and Sarvāstivāda: Analysing the Heart Sutra from Theravadin Perspective—Part 12

5.1.8. Śūnyavāda

Śūnyavāda and Māyāvāda are two parts of Sarvāstivādi creationism and eternalism. Maya is the form (flesh and blood) and mind (Emptiness/Śūnya) is the External/Outside Agent in the form.

[Heart (Red; page 6-7)]: Avalokiteshvara lists the major conceptual categories of the Sarvastivadin Abhidharma and considers each in the light of Prajnaparamita [...] Avalokiteshvara reviews the major signposts near the end of the path without introducing additional conceptual categories that might obstruct or deter those who would travel it.

The Sarvāstivādi Lankavatara Sutra is the backbone of Mahayana, which was brought to China by Bodhidharma. The sutras that contradict Lankavatara is herectical. However, for some reasons, the Mahayanists did not stop producing new sutras, which might or might not agree with Lankavatara.

• So, can we be called 'the enlightenend' when we know our own svabhāva does not exist but buddha-svabhāva does in each of us?

Śūnyavāda

The Lankavatara Sutra demonstrates both Sarvāstivādi Śūnyavāda and Māyāvāda. It presents seven types of Emptiness, including the Emptiness of self-nature [Svabhāva-Śūnya], with very brief explanations that are insufficient to understand these concepts. They are too brief to understand the meaning and intention of "all of the five Skandhas are equally empty" and "form is emptiness, emptiness is form." That has left the Mahayanist scholars in disagreement and argument.

Citta-matrata:

[Lanka Chapter 3:] emptiness of self-nature is meant that all things in their self-nature are un-born; therefore, it is said that things are empty as to self-nature [...] When it is recognized that the world as it presents itself is no more than a manifestation of mind, then birth is seen as no-birth,

• Mind: the only real thing. It is more real than existence.
• Manifestation of mind: maya or the world
• Birth exists, but it is imagination according to Lankavatara.
• all things in their self-nature are un-born: gotra-svabhāva? Tathāgatagarbha?

Seven Kinds of Emptiness

The Mahayanists present "Sixteen Kinds of Emptiness", "Eighteen Kinds of Emptiness within Four Kinds of Emptiness", "Sixteen kinds of emptiness", "Twenty kinds of emptiness", etc.
The Lotus Sutra does not peresent these types of emptiness; however, it presents interesting types of emptiness.
If mind is the only thing, why are the systems so complex? What is the need for many types of emptiness?

[Lanka Chapter 3:] The Blessed One replied: What is emptiness, indeed! It is a term whose very self-nature is false-imagination, but because of one's attachment to false-imagination we are obliged to talk of emptiness, no-birth, and no self-nature.

• The Blessed One is the original Tathagata or the mind.
• False imagination is maya—it is the false imagination of the mind.
  • A false imagination (illusion) cannot have false imagination.
  • It is the false imagination of the mind or the original Tathagata.

Lankavatara presents seven kinds of emptiness:

1. emptiness of mutuality which is non-existent;
2. emptiness of individual marks;
3. emptiness of self-nature;
4. emptiness of no-work;
5. emptiness of work;
6. emptiness of all things in the sense that they are unpredictable, and
7. emptiness in its highest sense of Ultimate Reality.

The Lankavatara Sutra emphasises the Emptiness of self-nature (svabhāva-śūnya). It rejects the emptiness of mutuality but presents mind (buddha-nature) inside the mortals. Nothing is mutual between illusion and reality. Illusion is the false imagination of mind.

• Svabhāva-śūnya: the mortals do not have their own self (self-nature)

The other five kinds of emptiness must also be important. However, bringing all seven types of Emptiness and other concepts of Emptiness into a comprehensive concept is unachievable. Understanding Emptiness with all these concepts is likely impossible. Nevertheless, we are informed that emptiness (svabhāva-śūnya) is the ultimate reality, while on the other side is maya, the false imagination of mind.

• 6. emptiness of all things in the sense that they are unpredictable: Emptiness of all things is unpredictable;
• Unpredictable nature is God. For example:
  • The Wildly Unpredictable Nature of Jesus
  • God is Consistent, Yet Unpredictable. - Graham Cooke
  • THE UNPREDICTABLE GOD WHO NONETHELESS STILL LOVES
  • The Unpredictable God - River of Life Blog
  • Why is God So Unpredictable? - Key Life
• Unpredictability is divine nature.
• Buddha-nature, as it is described, does not have the same attributes of divine-nature. However, emptiness has such qualities. Divine-nature in Mahayana comes in a number of flavours: Buddha-nature, emptiness, Maheśvara, Ālayavijñāna, etc.

Mahāprajñāpāramitāsūtra presents 18-20 kinds of emptiness

[Prajnaparamita (CONZE page 19):] Considering the paramount importance of the idea of emptiness, a list of 20 kinds of emptiness is particularly welcome. The term "emptiness" as such is said to mean "neither unmoved nor destroyed". "Unmoved" (a-kutastha) means that it overtowers (kiita) all change, is unchangeable in what it is, in its own being, "steadfast as a mountain peak, as a pillar firmly fixed". The opposite would be the change, or destruction, of its own being. Both of these are excluded.
[Prajnaparamita (CONZE page 48):] (22) to be trained in the eighteen kinds of emptiness, i.e. the emptiness of the subject, etc.

• "neither unmoved nor destroyed": Nothing is something. Emptiness is something eternal without change.

Nagarjuna (also) presents three emptinesses in the Maha Prajnaparamita Sastra [Gelongma].
The first is similar to Sunna Sutta. See 5.1.12.

[Nagarjuna:] The eye is empty (śūnya): in it there is no ‘me’ (ātman) or ‘mine’ (ātmīya), and there is no dharma ‘eye’. It is the same for the ear, nose, tongue, body and mind.

• Why does Mahāprajñāpāramitāsūtra present different sets of emptiness?
• They are likely the works of different authors.

[Gelongma:] For the disciples of the Mahāyāna ‘Greater Vehicle’ who are of keen faculties (tīkṣnendriya), the emptiness of dharmas is taught, and immediately they know that saṃsāra is eternally empty (nityaśūnya) and the same as nirvāṇa.

• Lankavatara explains Nirvana is Samsara because the original Tathagata is eternal:

[Lanka Chapter 2:] Even Nirvana and Samsara's world of life and death are aspects of the same thing [emptiness]

• As Nirvana is Samsara, these sutras have no other shore but the shoreline around a lake.
• Lankavatara's the original Tathagata is not one of those who got to the other shore.
• Now we know that too, but what special purpose does that knowledge serve? Gelongma gives no examples.

[Gelongma:] For the disciples of the Hīnayāna ‘Lesser Vehicle’

• Gelongma demonstrates the Sarvāstivādis' fundamental antipathy to Vibhajjavada.

[Gelongma:] If the Buddha were to speak of only one single emptiness, the many wrong views (mithyādṛṣṭi) and passions (kleśa) could not be destroyed [...] People who cling to the nature of emptiness (śūnyatālakṣaṇābhiniviṣṭa) fall into [the extreme] of nihilism (ucchedānta); to speak of the eighteen emptinesses is to hit the target (lakṣya) right on. To speak of ten or fifteen emptinesses would likewise provoke doubts (saṃśaya), but this is not at issue.

• Gelongma gives no examples for his views.
• How many types of emptiness did Avalokiteśvara discover?
• Just one; it's Svabhāva-Śūnya (dharmaśūnyatā).

5.1.9. Avalokiteśvara discovered Svabhāva-Śūnya (Maya)

[Lanka Chapter 2:] the truths of the emptiness, un-bornness, no self-natureness, and the non-duality of all things.

• Emptiness or mind (vijñana) does not die, so is un-born. Both the original Tathagata and Krishna are un-born. The indestructible buddha-nature (in the body of mortals) is vijñana not different from soul.
• Non-duality means mind (buddha-nature) is real, maya is not—Citta-matrata (Vijñaptimātra).
• Mahayana accepts the five aggregates but rejects their svabhāva: anicca, dukkha, anatta. Vasubandhu's Abhidharmakosha does not reject dukkha.
• Vibhajjavadi Buddha did not deal with the concept of dual-nondual or un-bornness. Nonetheless, Nama-rupa are paramatthas and can be seen as dual. The five aggregates are anatta (anattavāda).

[Lanka Chapter 3:] the fundamental fact that the external world is nothing but a manifestation of mind... emptiness, no-birth, and no self-nature.

• No self-nature: Svabhāva-Śūnya is Maya (false imagination). Maya is the manifesation of mind.
• Mind is buddha-nature; Our buddha-nature is awareness (Bodhidharma).

[The Buddha nature (Six Senses):] Buddha nature means that the true nature of our mind is pure, right from the beginning, and has been so since the beginning of time. Although it is in itself perfectly unblemished, it becomes obscured, which prevents us from seeing it in its true form.

• Mind inside maya (the mortals) is aware and can imagine, pray and worship with hope for emancipation.
• It is a close system with the original Tathagata as the Godhead (godhood/buddha-nature). The original Tathagata is the Holy Ghost (emptiness/mind).

overcame all Ill-being

[Heart (Thich):] Avalokiteshvara while practicing deeply with the Insight that Brings Us to the Other Shore, suddenly discovered that all of the five Skandhas are equally empty, and with this realisation he overcame all Ill-being.

• Avalokiteśvara discovered Svabhāva-Śūnya (Maya).
• if all the five Skandhas are equally empty of own svabhāva (own self-nature), Saṃjñā is empty. Saṃskāra is empty. And vijñāna is empty of svabhāva, too.
• If vijñāna (mind) is empty of svabhāva, buddha-svabhāva (gotra-svabhāva) is empty of svabhāva. Then, Gotra-Svabhāva is empty of gotra-svabhāva, is fale imagination, maya.
• Gotra-svabhāva is ālayavijñāna and tathāgatagarbha.

This `gotra-svabhava` means that the gotra (seed nature) of the `Tathagata` exists in all sentient beings. [THE SIGNIFICANCE OF `TATHAGATAGARBHA`：A POSITIVE EXPRESSION OF `SUNYATA` (HENG-CHING SHIH)]

• According to citta-matra theory, that citta is the original Buddha/Tathagata, whose seeds are inside all the mortals—The original Tathagata's seeds are trying to grow up inside all of the bodhisattvas.
• As vijñāna is immortal Self (svabhāva), we should only say not all the five Skandhas but four are empty.
• If vijñāna is not ālayavijñāna or tathāgatagarbha, then we must add them among the five skandhas. Then, there are seven Skandhas, including rupa, vedanā, saṃjñā, saṃskāra, vijñāna, ālayavijñāna and tathāgatagarbha.
• Attavāda: The five Skandhas are equally empty of own svabhāva but occupied by Buddha-nature (mind)
• Anattavāda: mind (citta) is impermanance (anicca); impermanence is suffering (dukkha).
• Empty of svabhāva/self-nature sounds like anattavada. However, the indestructiblity of vijñāna (buddha-self-nature) is sassatavada and attavada.

Heart Sutra: Empty of Own svabhāva

[Heart (Red; pages 87)]: the Five Skandhas are empty of self-existence. [p77] Something that is empty of self-existence is inseparable from everything else, including emptiness. [p91] But if, as Avalokiteshvara tells us, all dharmas are empty of self-existence, impermanence 'no longer applies, as they neither come into being, nor do they cease to be. [p92] In the light of Prajnaparamita, all such states are seen to be empty of self-existence. [p94] And because such a self cannot be found, dharmas are said to be "empty of self-existence." [p120] But since the Five Skandhas are empty of self-existence, suffering must also be empty of self-existence. But if suffering is empty of self-existence, then there is no self that suffers. Thus, in emptiness there is no suffering, no source of suffering, no relief from suffering, and no path leading to relief from suffering. This is the basis of Avalokiteshvara's interpretation of the Four Truths. ['empty of self-existence' appears 13 times]

• That is Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda and Śūnyavāda.
• Is svabhāva translated as self-existence and self-nature because of self (atta)?

[Heart (Red; page 69):] Emptiness does not mean nothingness. It simply means the absence of the erroneous distinctions that divide one entity from another, one being from another being, one thought from another thought. Emptiness is not nothing, it's everything, everything at once. This is what Avalokiteshvara sees...

• the absence of the erroneous distinctions: That means the truth is all beings are connected, and there is no distinction between the original Tathagata, buddhas, bodhisattvas, ordinary beings... Some Mahayanists believe everyone is enlightened.

[Heart (Thich):] Thich Nhat Hanh considered emptiness is "totality" and "wholeness." If they are applied to Heart-Sutra, "all of the five Skandhas are equally empty" becomes "all of the five Skandhas are totality and wholeness."

• Thich Nhat Hanh's statement disagrees with sunyavada and Māyāvāda. Red Pine's "does not mean nothingness" sounds like Thich Nhat Hanh's view. If emptiness is totality and wholeness, emptiness does not mean emptiness.

[Heart (Red; page 75)]: But in the light of Prajnaparamita, form is not simply empty, it is so completely empty, it is emptiness itself, which turns out to be the same as form itself.

• Red Pine is a great Mahayanist scholar. Yet he, too, is confused about emptiness, mind, self, etc. Mahayanist scholars, including Thich Nhat Hanh, interpreted the Heart Sutra differently and are confused about emptiness profoundly.

[Heart (Red; page 33)]: Others say true appearances transcend such dialectics—that they are the absolute, subjective mind—the mind's self-nature.

• Self-nature is what is not empty but "totality" and "wholeness."
• With this self-nature, maya suffers:

EMPTINESS (SUCHNESS), NON-DUALITY AND NON-EXISTENCE

[Heart (Red; page 120, quoted in Heart (Dharmanet)):] Since the Five Skandhas are empty of self-existence, suffering must also be empty of self-existence. But if suffering is empty of self-existence, then there is no self that suffers. Thus, in emptiness there is no suffering, no source of suffering, no relief from suffering, and no path leading to relief from suffering. This is the basis of Avalokiteshvara’s interpretation of the Four Truths.

• then there is no self that suffers: there is buddha-self-nature that is aware of sufferings.
  
• if suffering is empty of self-existence, then there is no self that suffers: We can only guess if suffering has awareness (buddha-nature) of suffering or not.
  
• So, self-existence means self's existence, and self-nature means self's nature. That is all about self after all.
  

the Zen master immediately used his thumb and index finger to pinch and twist the novice’s nose. In great agony, the novice cried out “Teacher! You’re hurting me!” The Zen master looked at the novice. “Just now you said that the nose doesn’t exist. But if the nose doesn’t exist then what’s hurting?” [New Heart Sutra translation by Thich Nhat Hanh]

• If the mortals cannot suffer because they do not have their own selves (self-nature), why do we feel pain?
• If self is the thing that suffers, does the indestructible buddha-nature suffer?
• But we all know we feel the pain.
• Then, do the sutras indirectly mean the mortals have selves?

Vasubandhu

[Vasubandhu:] the five sense organs (eye, ear, nose, tongue, skin) can each be inferred from the awareness of their respective sensory objects. But, he [Vasubandhu] says, there is no such inference for the self [2.1 Disproof of the Self (Jonathan C. Gold)].

• Vasubandhu accepted the physical nature as reality and rejected self at first, but changed his mind later and became a founder of 'mind only' school, which resembles Māyāvāda. The Lankavatara Sutra presents Māyāvāda and ten stages towards Maheśvara and the Lotus Sutra presents the ekayāna (buddhahood is the only liberation).

“If the images of physical forms, and so on, were just consciousness, not physical things, then the Buddha would not have spoken of the existence of the sense bases of physical form, and so on.” [3. Approaches to Scriptural Interpretation (Jonathan C. Gold)]

• After converting to Mahayana, Vasubandhu rejected the physicality and advocated for 'mind only'as a founder of a Mahayanist school. The sutras transformed Mahayana into Māyāvāda.

Nāgārjuna: Rūpa Has Selves

The specific nature belonging to each dharma is, for example, the solidity (khakkhaṭatva) of earth (pṛthivi), the wetness (dravatva) of water (ap-), the warmth of fire (uṣṇatva) of fire (tejas), the mobility (īraṇatva) of wind (vāyu): such natures differentiate dharmas, each of which has its own nature”. [Tathata (Mahāprajñāpāramitāśāstra chapter XLIX)]

• The Tathata concepts suggests mental and physical aggeregates have selves, contradicting the Heart Sutra and the discovery of Avalokiteśvara.
• Tathata is not a common word in the Theravada literature.

[Theravada:] Tathata (“suchness”) designates the firmly fixed nature (bhāva) of all things whatever.—The only passage in the Canon where the word occurs in this sense, is found in Kath. 186 (s. Guide, p. 83).

5.1.11. Sarvāstivādi Eternalism

Tathatā also represents Sarvāstivādi eternalism that rejects anicca (impermanence):

Tathatā represents the sameness of dharmas throughout the three times.

• Tathatā in that sense is the original Tathagata.

Hence at the time when the mental consciousness delivers it judgment, the perceptual cognition no longer exists since all things are momentary. [The Theory of Two Truths in India: 3.2 Ultimate truth (Sonam Thakchoe)]

• That is about form, not self-nature (svabhāva) and the eternal Tathagata.
• The Theravada monks observed the mind and body and developed direct knowledge, so they spoke about their discoveries. However, the Sarvāstivādi philosophers and scholars relied on speculative theories, and ended up with eternalism, which they originally belonged to.

Samkhara

[Samkara, a critic of non-authodox Buddhism,] divides Buddhism into three types: the “realists” (sarvāstitvādins), the “idealists” (vijñānavādins), and the “nihilists” (śūnyavādins) [...] in this simple threefold manner, and many would take great exception to the characterization of śūnyavāda, the “theory of the void” associated primarily with the Mādhyamika school of Nāgārjuna, as mere “nihilism.” [The Essential Vedanta Eliot Deutsch And Rohit Dalvi (PDF file) (Eliot Deutsch and Rohit Dalvi; page 126)]

• Mahayanist sects share the same sutras. Probably, their interpretations of these sutras made them different. They are unintentionally analysed when these sutras are analysed. Mahayanists are a mix of personalists and impersonalists. Probalby, Red Pine and Thich Nhat Hanh are good examples.
• Some accused Samkhara of borrowing the Sarvāstivādi concepts of Māyāvāda without considering they came from Brahmanism and Jainism. According to Suhotra Swami, Māyāvāda (Impersonalism) was very ancient (so it did not originate in Sarvāstivāda:

[Suhotra Swami] originally Vedanta meant Vaisnava-vedanta. The Vedanta-sutras were compiled by Vyasadeva, a Vaisnava. The Srimad Bhagavatam is the natural commentary on the Vedanta-sutra, written by Vyasadeva himself 5000 years ago. [VII. A historical comparison of Vaisnava-vedanta, Mayavadi-vedanta and Buddhism.]

Personalism

• Some believed Adi Samkara (Śaṅkarācārya) was rather a seudo-Buddhist.
• Yet his work is precisely sarvāstivādi, only the names are different:

[Bhajan & Kirtan Library:] Sankaracarya is supposed to be an impersonalist who preached impersonalism, impersonal Brahman, but it is a fact that he is a covered personalist. In his commentary on the Bhagavad-gita he wrote, "Narayana, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is beyond this cosmic manifestation." And then again he confirmed, "That Supreme Personality of Godhead, Narayana, is Krsna. He has come as the son of Devaki and Vasudeva." He particularly mentioned the names of His father and mother. So Krsna is accepted as the Supreme Personality of Godhead by all transcendentalists. There is no doubt about it."[Sri Isopanisad, Introduction]

Svabhāva in Mahayana & Indian Religions

[Breakthrough Sermon (Bodhidharma):] Our buddha-nature [buddha-svabhāva/buddha self-nature] is awareness: to be aware and to make others aware. To realize awareness is liberation [...] The Sutra of the Ten Stages [Lankavatara] says, “In the body of mortals is the indestructible buddha-nature.
[Svabhāva (Wisdom Library)] Shaivism: [verse 9.5-11, while explaining the universality of Amṛteśa]—“Amṛteśa is supreme. He is free of disease. His nature is inherent (svabhāva), fully enumerated, constant, eternal, and immovable. [He has] no form or color, and is the highest truth. Because of that, he is omnipresent. The splendid Deva delights in all āgamas, pervades all mantras, and grants all siddhis. In this way, he is like a transparent crystal sewn onto a colored thread, always reflected with its color, [and] seeking [to] look like this and that. [...]”.
The Great Void (Emptiness) of Shaktism [Shakta and Shakti (Usha Chatterji):] Her own dark form is the Void (Shunya). As Digambari she is naked, but Her nakedness is space itself. "The series of universes appear and disappear with the opening and shutting of Her eyes". The Mother's play or this cosmic manifestation is a continual process of creation, maintenance and dissolution, usually symbolised by the Hindu Trinity, Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. [Studies in Comparative Religion, Vol. 2, No. 4 (Autumn, 1968)]

• A concept of svabhāva is shared among Breakthrough Sermon, Shaivism and Shaktism.
• Lankavatara's original Tathagata corresponds with Siva (Shaivism).
• Lotus and Shaktim share the emptiness/void concept.
• Her nakedness is space itself: A Sarvastivādi asankhata (asaṁskrṭa) is space (Ākāśa).

[Lotus Chapter 5:] ultimate Nirvana which is constantly still and extinct and which in the end returns to emptiness.

• Emptiness in that sense must be Ākāśa.

5.1.12. Atta-Suññatā

“voidness in formations” (saṅkhāra-suññatā) [...] and “voidness of self” (atta-suññatā) [...] variously classified in the Suññakathā of the Paṭisambhidāmagga. The “void mind-deliverance” (suññata-cetovimutti) is that connected with atta-suññatā (MN 43). [The Three Basic Facts of Existence: III — Egolessness (Anattā) Collected Essays, Buddhist Publication Society, Kandy, Sri Lanka, The Wheel Publication No. 202–204]

• atta-suññatā , f., emptiness as to soul;
• Atta is not svabhāva. The latter is shared among Indian religions that reject the anattavāda (Buddha-Sasanā).
• Mahayana replaced atta with svabhāva because Mahayana refused to follow anattavāda.

The knowledge of an arahant:

• all of the five Skandhas are equally empty of atta (me, mine, I).

[Dhammakiti (담마끼띠):] Unlike the theory of self-begetting mutation by Brahmanism which argues that many appear from one, the understanding of Buddhism may be the revelation of truth from many to one based on the theory of dependent origination [...] The word ‘emptiness’ is mentioned in many discourses of early Buddhism [Culasunnata-sutta, Mahasunnata-sutta, Majjhima Nikaya] [초기불교에 나타난 대승공관의 기초 -맛지마 니까야의 『소공경』 과 『대공경』을 중심으로-]

The knowledge of Avalokiteśvara:

• all of the five Skandhas are equally empty of svabhāva (self-nature).
• If Avalokiteśvara realised anicca, dukkha and anatta, he would become a noble person.

Ariya-Puggala: the Four 'Noble Ones'

• the Stream-winner (Sotāpanna),
• the Once-Returner (Sakadāgāmi),
• the Non-Returner (Anāgāmī),
• the Holy One (Arahat).

Anatta Dhamma: Non-being of I-being/soul

• Anatta (not-atta) - (the five aggregates are) not me, not mine; see Cula Rahula Sutta.
  • Me or mine occurs due to misperception.
  • Empty of atta (the I-satta, I-being or soul)
  • Satta: being, lifeform;

Sunna Sutta: Sunna is the knowledge of the Buddha and the arahants:

Insofar as it is empty of a self or of anything pertaining to a self: Thus it is said, Ānanda, that the world is empty.

• The Venerable Ānanda was then a sotapanna. He became an arahant on the eve of the first sangayana.

Anatta-lakkhana Sutta (The knowledge of the Buddha and arahants):

"Bhikkhus, [rūpa] is not-self.

• Rūpa: mahābhūta;
• Nāma: citta (viññāṇa) and cetasika (vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra)

Atta-Suñña (Atta-Suññatā)

the Buddha, the Analyzer (Vibhajjavaadi), analyzed the so-called being, the sankhaara pu~nja, the heap of processes, into five ever-changing aggregates, and made it clear that there is nothing abiding, nothing eternally conserved, in this conflux of aggregates (khandhaa santati). [The Fact of Impermanence (Piyadassi Thera)]

• The Vibhajjavādi Buddha rejected everything that looks like indestructible buddha-svabhāva, Ālayavijñāna, etc.
  
• This book discusses "Atta-Suñña" in detail: The Path of Purification By Buddhaghosa (Page 529)
  

Hello all. The youtube channel, Kiyoko&Kanade are currently hosting a 3 part ASMR competition, with one of the divisions being for script writers (deadline June 21 [see their youtube channel community tab for more details]).
Because of this, I plan to write a lot more. And as a consequence of that, I plan to share my script entries here, because why not? I hope you enjoy it!
Side note - this script is okay for monetization.
Synopsis Your friend needs help coming up with a poem for a narrator to read before the start of their play. You have dabbled in the literary arts in the past, so maybe you could help?
[Sound of footsteps]
[Sound of someone speaking can be heard in the distaned; and said speaking becomes clearer the longer the foosteps sound, as the listener is walking towards the speaker]
Juliet: (Stoic) "What is left for the man who has lost it all...? What comfort is there to offer the hero, when those he loves are dead...? Who can tell me..." (Exasperated sigh, now speaking casually) How in the world I'm going to salvage this script?
[Sound of knocking]
Juliet: Huh, did someone just... knock? The only thing to knock on would be a set piece on the stage...
[Sound of heeled footsteps] [Brief pause] [Sudden Gasp and Excited Squeal]
Juliet: Oh my gosh!
[Sound of rushed footsteps and collison as the speaker runs to, and then hugs, the listener]
Juliet: I'm so happy to see you! What are you doing here?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Your meeting ended early than you expected, so you decided to stop by? Ooh, you are a gem!
[Rustling sounds as speaker hugs listener tighter]
Juliet: (Giggling) Okay, okay, I get it. I'll release you, for now. But seriously, it is so great to see you here. I know that the team and I are still technically in rehersals, but even so, having you here for moral support means a lot.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Hm? Oh, the rest of the crew isn't here yet. I always show up early to go over the script and edit lines. So I'm afraid there won't be much to see until a little later on. (Sarcastically mumbling to herself) Unless of course you want to see me slowly lose my mind.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Huh? Oh, I didn't say anthing.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Ugh, fine! What I said was, "there won't be much to see, unless you like the idea of watching me slowly loose my mind!"
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: What's up? (Scoffs) This script is what's up! No wait, this script isn't up, it's down! In fact, this script is so far down, it's basically in purgatory.
[Slumps/thumps to the floor]
Juliet: (Sigh) I need a break.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Yeah, I'm okay... It's just... I want this play to go well... It's my first time writing and producing a play, after all... But this script is being a nusance and a half.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: No, the story isn't the problem. I actually have a reasonable amount of faith in this one. The problem is the intro. Or rather, the poem that's supposed to go in place of the intro, and is meant to give the audience a glimpse into the mind of the protagonist. It's also supposed to give a summary of the plot of the play itself, without giving too much of anything away. It's also meant to ask deeply philosophical questions, without giving anyone a concrete answer.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You're right. It is a lot. Which is why it needs to be perfect, and why I'm currently lying on the floor in defeat.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You say I can do it, but as far as I can tell, the scoreboard reads Juliet: 1, Script: 1 hundred million.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Yeah, those are pretty bleak scores. And if I had any sense at all, I'd give up and stop playing.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Who says I can't give up on art and become a corporate stooge? I think I'd be a great normie (sarcastically)
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Giggling) Okay, you're right; I wouldn't last a week. (Wistful sigh) That still doesn't mean I shouldn't quit, though.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You croon the idea "I will Survive," but this horrible poem in my hands, says your off key!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Huh? You... want to, read it? (Gasping) That's it! You can help me!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Help me with what? Uh, with this play piece (waving script in the air)-- Duh! I can't believe I didn't think of this before. You were always into the same things as me in school. You even managed to write a few pieces that made me cry. Which is not too shabby, if I may say so myself.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (In a playfully mocking tone) "Eh, that was a long time ago." Give me a break. I know that beneath that suit and tie, beats the heart of a bonafide theatre kid, and no amount of time or money can change that.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Oh, you're still not sure? Well in that case-- here! (Slamming of papers into the listener) Read this and tell me what you think (she says while jogging away).
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Nu-uh, no give backsies! You have been burdened with genius, and I shall be your muse!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Groan all you want, I see you smiling over there, troublemaker. Now hurry up and make words, our audience awaits!
[Brief Pause] [Note - all of Juliet's dialogue will be from a distance from here on]
Juliet: Hm? It would help if you know what the play's about? Well... it's about a medieval knight who gives his life defending his country, only to be revived 100 years later as a Dullahan.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Yeah, it is pretty gruesome. But life doesn't pull any punches, so neither will I! Anyway, the knight goes around the kingdom trying to get his bearings, he has been dead for the last century after all. But as the Knight goes around town, his heart gets broken, as the Loving Queen he knew gave birth to horribly selfish descendants. These royal brats, and those after them, changed the kingdom from the peaceful utopia that it was, into the oppresive and tyrannical regime it now is. And so our knight is left in a really tough spot. He gave his life for a kingdom that no longer exists. He sacrificed it all so that a group of bad people could horde it all. And thus our hero is left thinking... was any of it even worth it...?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You think that's deep... (Nervous and bashful giggles) Uh... Thank you. I've been working really hard on the actual script. Now all I need is for this poem to make sense.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You, have an idea?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: A disconnected, third person narration of images, with pieces of the protagonists thoughts thrown in?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: I'm not sure that I follow, but at this point, I'd kiss a donkey's rear end if it meant moving forward.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Giggling) Sorry, sorry, I promise you're better than a donkey. (Clearing throat) please, most beatiful and wonderful friend of mine, continue.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "A soul denied his destined death. The warrior is once again called to stand. Touch not the golden rays of heaven, nor seek solace in the gentle blanket of silver; yours, is the twighlight. Outside it, your foot will find no purchase."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: I see, "a soul denied death" shows that the subject of the poem is undead. And the "golden rays of heaven," and the "gentle blanket of silver?"
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Allusions to sunlight and moonlight. That's so coo-- wait, didn't you get that from some videogame you played? You know the one... It's about a treasure hunter, and an alchemy pirate, and a thief who was said to be lost at sea?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Yeah, I thought so. But hey, nobody said that borrowing someone else's genuis for playwrighting is illegal. So I'm all for it. But what was that bit you wrote about twighlight?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You put that in because it sounds cool? Well, I mean, it does-- but it also makes it seem like our protagonist can only move during twighlight.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: No, no, no-- don't change it. I actually really like it! The idea of a ghost that only moves about during twighlight is eerily fitting. Especially when you consider that our protagonist is hero drawn from the shadows of the kingdom's history. Of course, twighlight in reality only lasts for like-- what, an hour? So if our play was more realistic, our hero wouldn't have enough time to do anything. But thankfully, none of that matters for a work of fiction, where the name of the game is "suspension of disbelief!"
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Well, don't just stand there, keep going! I'm finally starting to get invested.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "The wind howls and groans as it races through the empty streets. The echoes of smiling children cast judgement on broken young men. 'Why do you kneel beneath earth and stone? Why do you spend your strength hunched over moldy bread, and the shavings of copper coins? Is not our kingdom glorious?' The Solider is left to wander."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: I see, so the wind is meant to convey emotion via the sound it's known to make as it moves. And the "echoes of children" bit is meant to compare and contrast the glory of the past with the bleakness of the present. That's... really dark. And strangely timely...
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Yeah, yeah-- I'll try not to think about it too much. Just keep going.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "Tears of crimson wll not flow from a body beyond the styx; but strands of ruby still linger, sweetly, in the gallery of my heart. That grand tapestry, blessed by emerald halos, and adorned from above by a circlet of gold... Dearest Luciea... The seas I would brave to hear your siren song... one final time... May your sweetness grant succor to our sovereign in his rest."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Huh...? Oh, sorry... I was just... I was wondering how it might feel, to have someone describe me like that...
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Flustered) I'm fine, I'm fine! Just walk me through what you wrote down this time!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: So the Hero's wandering is making him reflect on his time on the battlefield. And the lack of blood, or "crimson tears" leaving his wounds, makes him think of his beloved; who just so happened to have red hair, and who just so happened to be the Queen, who was also very much-- married.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: No, I'm not condeming the trope. The tragic irony is, the heart wants what it wants, and we don't always get a say in it.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: I'm smiling because, despite the overuse of the cliche, I still find it beautiful. And I especially like how the hero thinks of his Queen as he wanders. It makes me think that she is the reason he lept into battle in the first place.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Okay, Okay... I'll focus... But you should know better than to bother an artsy girl when she's having a moment!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Well when you put it like that, I guess I'll have to choose work over wanderlust, but you better make it up to me, later!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Giggling) Good. Now then... (deep breathe) I'm ready...
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "A Swan that fleas into eternity, leaving no feathers behind for her young, chains both child and children to the mud; where they are left to adopt the nature of frogs. 'Off with his head. Bring me what is owed. Sell the widow's daughter for a barrel of wine.' The poets of the past prove themselves liars, as toads become tyrants that turn kingdoms into swamps."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: So the Queen is the Swan in this analogy, and her kids-- and their kids, being nothing like her, are the evil frogs?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Okay, I get it now. I'm not gonna lie, I was seriously lost there. Thanks for explaining it to me, but, I'm beginning to worry if this is okay.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: What I mean is, is it really okay for us to use flowery language and lofty imagery like this? What if it goes over everyone's head?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Quoting the speaker) If they don't get it the first time, they'll just have to come back and watch the play again. (Giggling) Aren't you the optimist?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Oh, so now you're an artist? (Giggling) Get back to reading, you dork, before I lob an artistic shoe at you.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "My sword was freed from its sheath, but my countrymen are slain with negligence. I stood watch on the kingdoms walls, only for the threat to emerge from within. I cannot find my enemy. Fiends conceals themselves with my kingdom's colors. Damn this bitter masquerade! And a thousand plagues on this child's farce! Show yourselves, cowards! Take up arms against me, my nemeses. I will see that you get your fill, in steel, ere the sun rises!"
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You know, this sounds a lot like a war cry.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: It's a mournful cry? The hero lamenting the fact that he let his people down, because he left them in such a sorry state, and because he doesn't know who their enemies are anymore?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Please tell me you have a way to end all of this on a good note. Or at least, a less somber one. I know that I'm technically the one who wrote the play, which means I'm technically responsible for the tone of the intro; but-- if we give this to our viewers, as is, I'm worried they'll spend the entire show crying.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Okay, I'm trusting you.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Stoic) "I would have words with the world, but my voice is lost in the tempest. A budding appletree on a snow capped peak. A lone snow blossom in a field during harvest. So am I to the souls set forth at this time. An oddity to be criticized. I traded my life for a dream, and woke up to a nightmare. All my endeavors are sand-- they have slipped through the peoples' fingers. A soldier stands his ground. A king loves all men. And a pauper lives long enough to see both of them fall. In this light cast by death, the darkness of life has been lifted, and so hate finds ample kindling to burn inside me. My thoughts are heavy, they weigh on me like bars of iron, so I bow the head and stagger about in the dark, despising my every breath."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Deep breath - recovering from her lines) Wait... that's it? I thought you said you would make things better!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Set up for the climax, later? I... You... (Scoffs)-- I asked you to write for me so we could save this script from purgatory, not so you could write me the soliloquy of a guy who's already been there!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Life is a portait of suffering, and our hero is Fate's muse. (Scoff/incredulous laughter) You... you're something, you know that?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Oh no, I'm keeping it. In fact, I'm keeping all of it! I may make a tweak here or there, for the sake of adding my own artistic flare in a few places, but tweaks aside-- the piece you gave me today will be very much intact when our play debuts. And I really hope you'll be there to see it.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You will? Promise?
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: Okay, you said it. Don't be surprised if you have to quit your job to keep your promise to me!
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: You don't think it'll be that serious? Well, a girl can hope. After all, if you quit that hum-drum job, you can work full time with me-- as my lovely assistant.
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (Sarcastically) Eh, I don't know, boring labels like "Co-Author" and "Fellow Playwright" just don't have the same ring as "Lovely Assitant."
[Brief Pause]
Juliet: (With nervous excitement in her voice) Wait, what are you doing...? Oh, no-- Bestie, put the shoe down... Bestie...? Bestie...? (Giggling shriek as Juliet dodges a shoe)
Juliet: Oh now you've done it, take this!
[Vid ends to a fadeout of Juliet's voice, as she calls out to, and playfully mocks, the speaker; as they take turns chasing and fleeing from each other across the stage]
[END]

Hello all. The youtube channel, Kiyoko&Kanade are currently hosting a 3 part ASMR competition, with one of the divisions being for script writers (deadline June 21 [see their youtube channel community tab for more details]).
Because of this, I plan to write a lot more. And as a consequence of that, I plan to share my script entries here, because why not? I hope you enjoy it!
Side note - this script is okay for monetization.
Synopsis It's your first day at a magical university, and before you can get started attending classes and making friends, you have to take a special course in "Vampire History and Ethics." That's right, your a "vampire," the only human one in your class-- but what that word (vampire) means, and what you actually are, are two entirely different things. That is why this class exists, it's meant to teach you the truth about vampires, and make you aware of all the resources the university has prepared for you.
[Sound of general chatter]
[Sound of heeled footsteps as chatter continues]
Instructor: (Clap of hands) Attention, please. May I have your attention?
[General chatter quiets down] [Brief Pause]
Professor E: Excellent. It would seem that I am rather fortunate this year, to receive a group of well mannered students such as yourselves. I half expected you to try talking over me just now. Shame on me for my school-fostered pessimism (said cheerfully). Now then, onto introductions... My name, is Elaina Andrei Cojocaru, and as you may have guessed, I have the unique privelage of being your "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics" Professor, this year. It is a pleasure to meet you all.
[Applause]
Professor E: Oh goodness, all of you really are well mannered. Please stop, I know I gave a little half bow just now, but that's no cause for such a warm reception. Oh, curse my formalities, and these cherry cheeks.
[Soft laughter.]
Professor E: (Clearing her throat) Right then, as I've said, I'll be one of your primary Professors for the entirety of this year. And I'll be checking in with you all, regularly, for any additional years you choose to spend at Amortis University. Now, can anyone tell me why that is...?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: Yes; you there, in the back!
[Brief pause]
Professor E: (Sighing) No, young man, it is not because you're all "freaks." And for the record, please know that I am no different from any of you. Why, I still remember the days I spent, sitting where you are now; listening to my own Vampire instructor as he gave this exact same orientation. But I'll save that story for another time. So please, anyone? Can anyone tell me why you're all here?
[Brief pause]
Professor E: That's right, miss. The reason why you're all here, is because you have all been afflicted with the genetic disease most know today as "Vampirism." And as such, you all require additonal tutelage before you're allowed to go out and socialize with your fellow classmates.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, dear, that is why none of you were permitted to attend the official orientation in the Campus Square. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were denied that. I know how frustrating it can be, to be told that you're no different from anyone else, only to be treated like a leper at every opportunity. That used to drive me up the wall. But-- that's why I studied to become a teacher, and why I volunteered to teach this class, it's because I wanted to be there for those who would experience the same things that I did. I wanted to be there for them, in the ways I wished someone was there for me. And speaking of...
[A few heeled footsteps sound] [Sound of a drawer being pulled out] [Sound of jingling keys]
Professor E: I knew that none of us would be attending the formal get together in the Campus Square. So I took the liberty of... procuring one of the Headmaster's vehicles, along with one of the company credit cards.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Why did I do that? Well, so we could throw our own party, of course! There's a demi-human diner only a few blocks away, and the sweets they serve are out of this world! It's normally quiet later in the evening, especially on weekdays, so nothing is stopping us from showing up in full force; and downing enough deserts to put us all in a sugary coma!
[Hoots and hollers]
Proffessor E: Shush, evryone! Shush! Please keep it down. You're going to get us caught-- and me fired! (Said with glee)
[Quiet giggling]
Professor E: Alrighty then, since it seems like we're all in agreement for later tonight, and since the spirits of those in the room have been largely lifted, I think it's about time we delve into our first lesson. Lights, please!
[Light switch being flipped] [Heeled footsteps] [Projector being turned on and running]
Professor E: (Clearing throat) To begin our lesson, I would like to take a closer look at the official name of this class. And that is...?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Correct, Mr. Brutus; "Vampiric History and Protozeal Ethics." Now, what do you all think these words mean...? Anyone...? Besides Mr. Brutus.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Miss Nadia, this class is meant to teach you the history of Vampires; and how we, their offpsring, are to conduct ourselves in a civilized society. So to start our trek into the past, why don't we begin with the world's very first recorded "Vampire." Lord Dracula himself!
[Clicker clicking] [Concerned whispers]
Professor E: Oh my, all of you seem so utterly bewildered. What ever is the matter? (Said sarcastically)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's right, Mr. Ryuji, the picture on the screen isn't that of a distinguished, elderly man, but that of a petite young woman; whose beauty I would liken to a porcelan doll's. What of it? (Sarcastic and sassy)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: (Chuckling) As fate would have it, Mr. Ryuji, this is Count Dracula; or rather, Countess. Allow me to introduce you all to our true progenitor. The singular human being from which all Vampire kind is derived... Lady Valentina Matei Parvu... the first being in recorded history to have ever suffered from "The Curse of Parvu," a.k.a. "The Vampar Curse," a.k.a. "Vampirism."
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: I see that we're all more than a little smitten with our Lady. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Other than the fact that our Countess was very pretty, Miss Selica (small giggle)
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, That is a very good question, Mr. Tempus! How did the world confuse the image of this dainty little thing, with that of the imposing, amorous, and chiseled figure that is Count Dracula-- an image which the world of fiction deeply reveres? Well... the answer to that, lies with the failings of recorded history. As stories are chronicled and passed down, first hand accounts often yield to modern superstitions and hearsay, and this in turn-- makes recountings of historic events about as credible as modern tabloids. Very few ancient historians are actually worth their renown, and even then, these same historians largely concerned themselves with events that happened locally; meaning the stories of the rest of the world quietly passed them by, more often than not. Luckily for us, Lady Parvu was a countess of a noble house, so her story and her struggles managed to find their way to us; by way of her family albums and her own personal diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As far as her family albums are concerned... here we can see Lady Valentina Parvu being held by her mother, Lady Ileana Parvu, after just being born in a mountainside manor, on the eve of May 26, 1897. Lord Caius Parvu, Valentina's father-- whom we can see on the right, was the head of the Parvu clan; making Valentina, his first and only child, his sole successor.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The Parvu's were an ancient magus family, and as one of the biggest magical clans known to history, Lady Valentina should have inherited a life of wealth, decadence, and leisure.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Sadly, as we can see in this slide here, Lady Valentina was born with a sickly and frail body, leaving her bedridden most of the time; and hobbling around on a cane every other waking moment. Lady Ileana and Lord Caius chocked all of this up to general misfortune at first. They just saw it as "one of those things" that was outside of their control, and that Valentina would just have to learn to live with. However, all of this changed when Valentina turned 18. And her condition took an unexpected turn for the worse.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: The man in the cloak that we see standing over Valentina here, is the Arch Mage: Augustus Von Draconis; he was a sage with wisdom beyond his many years, and he was a personal friend of Lord Caius. So when Valentina collapsed from a fever during her birthday dinner, Augustus was summoned to help her. After launching a series of investigative spells, Augustus learned what we all recognize today as common knowledge; that those who suffer from "Vampirism" have bodies that are incapable of properly harnessing mana. And this in turn, can lead to a myriad of chronic physical ailments, as mana is integral to proper bodily function.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In Valentina's case, "Vampirism" left her with an incredibly frail body, a ghostly pale complection, and horrendus eyesight. Fun fact-- Most of the tropes we have today regarding "Vampire weaknesses," are actually derived from misconceptions stemming from Lady Valentina's behavior. For example: Most people think that Vampires will die if exposed to sunlight, and thus, they have to avoid it. But as I've just said, "Vampirism" gave Valentina a ghostly pale complection-- along with terrible vision, meaning prolonged exposure to the sun would make her eyes hurt; and her skin, burn.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Hm? Oh, yes; that is why all of us are either wearing glasses, or very unique contacts. The bodily ailments that come with "Vamprisim" are usually passed down from parent to child; so chances are... if Lady Valentina had it, so will all of us. And as an added note, after reading Lady Valentina's diary in depth, I discovered that she had a very fierce loathing for her appearance; a kind of pre-historic body dysmorphia, if you will. She disliked her looks so much, she actively removed all mirrors from her room. So... if you ever wondered where the concept "Vampires don't show up in mirrors" came from... or if you ever wondered why you find it hard to appreciate your own reflection-- well, Lady Valentina is probably responsible for that, too. But we should finish going through all of Valentina's family albums before we get to her diary.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Getting back to Valentina's birthday disaster, Augustus tried all types of healing magic and anti-curse magic to help Valentina, as he believed an outside source was impairing her ability to absorb magic. He only realized that her affliction was genetic, and not heretic, after giving her an elixir that was meant to replenish one's mana. Funnily enough, Lady Valentina nearly ripped Augusts' arm off, in an attempt to snatch the bottle out of his hand, after taking a mere sip of its contents. Her sudden burst of strength, and ravenous consumption of the magical brew, prompted more and more elixir to be brought in for her. And after the span of an hour, Lady Valentina had consumed more than a gallons worth of potion, before finally passing out due to exhaustion.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: This might have caused some of us to panic; but Augustus, ever the sage and alchemist, was able to think through the chaos, enough to see that Valentina was finally breathing normally and that her fever had broken. The picture we see here is Augustus comforting Valentina's startled parents, as several maids settle Valentina back into bed.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Armed with this new knowledge of Valentina's condition, Augustus worked with her, day and night, in order to help her manage her symptoms-- while he secretly looked for a cure. Unfortunately, none of the magic in the world, nor a philosopher's stone, could reverse what fate had done to Valentina. But even so, Valentina did not lose heart, and neither did her parents. And as we see here, not only were Valentina's parents ready to do anything and everything to help her, they were even the very first people that Valentina fed on. Which is why we see Valentina noming on her father's arm in this picture, and her mother's neck in this picture. Now, for those of you wondering why Valentina would even resort to feeding...
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As we can see in this diagram here, a Mana Elixir actually contains little to no mana in and of itself. It's primary purpose is to help the consumer's body absorb external mana, with the little mana it does contain only serving as a means to "kickstart" that process. In contrast, when a Vampire feeds off of another living being, the fluid that enters into their mouths is 100% pure liquid mana, or Aetheron, for those Alchemy Majors amongst us. This is why Valentina consumed large volumes of the Mana Elixir on her 18th birthday, and it's why Vampires feed off of other beings to this day. It is simply more efficient. And speaking of feeding, I think it's time we get on to the Protozeal Ethics portion of our discussion today.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: Society has many different opinions regarding the act of Feeding, but thankfully for us, the information contained on these slides is irrefutable fact. So if you didn't already know... Vampires don't actually drink blood, as we so often see in books or television. What actually happens is an extremely complicated, bio-magical transmutation process, that Alchemists the world over are still trying to replicate. But to put it as simply as I can, the abnormally elongated canines of a Vampire, or their quote/unqote "fangs," if your a normie-- act as polaric constructs that draw mana to them. When a "Vampire" bites down on a person, their fangs draw magic particles out of their prey's body, and then force those particles to condensate inside the Vampires mouth; creating a liquid the Vampire can then drink. And because all liquids containing mana have a propensity to turn red; it is easy to see how, from a distance, people may be lead to believe that "Vampires" consume blood. Which is a totally disgusting notion, by the way.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: In feeding off of living beings, Vampires are given a kind of repreive from their bodily ailments. I'm sure all of you have experienced this yourselves, at one time or another, so I won't go into too much detail; but for the sake of the curriculum, allow me to just say that feeding makes a Vampire stronger, faster, more resilient, and just healthier overall. Though we still suffer from things like poor eyesight and/or easily damaged skin, no matter how much we feed. Remeber, "Vampirism" is a chronic, genetic condition; not an illness that can be cured.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: And speaking of "Incurables" (sigh) I now have the distinct displeasure of telling you all how others might pervert the feeding process.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: As most of you can imagine, it would be incredibly problematic if a Vampire's prey ran away from them before a feeding, or if they fought back as a Vampire was consuming their mana... And as if in response to this dilemma, the bodies of Vampires naturally adapted themselves, in order to provide a solution... Put succintly, a Vampire's bite is known to generate intense waves of Euphoria, and other such emotions, in the person being bitten. Leaving little motivation for anyone to resist having their mana taken.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: On the surface, this seems like a good thing. The Vampire gets to feed, and provide essential nutrients to their ailing body; while their prey gets to feel good whilst donating some of their excess mana. Everyone wins. Or at least, that's what you would expect... (Deep sigh)... But unfortunately, there are many individuals out there who would take advantage of the effects of a Vampire bite. Using it to block out the pain of their lives, or introduce a new kind of stimulus to it. This is part of the reason why Vampires aren't allowed to attend the formal Freshman Orientation. It isn't only because we all need to learn when and where to feed, but rather, it's because we need to learn that others may entice us to feed of off them, in accordance with their own selfish desires... Please, don't let anyone make a tool out of you. Especially those who claim to be your friends. I know it might be hard to hear that, and even harder to follow through on, so please know that my door is always open; If you ever need to talk. The scheduled office hours on my door be damned. If you need me, I'll be there. I Promise.
[Sound of a clicker clicking] [Sound of the projector moving to the next slide]
Professor E: (Sigh of relief) And, that should about do it for our first lecture. Thank you all so much for your patience and attention. I'd like to open the floor now for any questions that you may have.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes; you, near the window.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Ah, an astute question. For those of you who didn't hear, Miss Seren asked why demi-humans of all kinds can end up as Vampires. If you take a look around the room yourselves, you can see that we actually have demis of all kinds in attendance here today. Mr Brutus is a Minotaur. Miss Nadia is a Scylla. Mr. Ryuji is a Dragonborn, Mr. Tempus is a Shifter. Miss Selica is a Harpy. And Miss Seren herself is a Gorgon. We all come from different magical lineages, and this in turn, might cause an uninformed person to think that Vampirism is transferrable. But as we have already discussed, Vampirism stems from genetics, so any species that has a history of reproducing with humans, has a chance of siring Vampire children. Hmm... now that I've mentioned humans, I have to ask, do we... have any in this class? Cause I don't think I we do.
[Chairs shuffling]
Professor E: Oh, I see a hand! There you are, you sneaky little thing, hiding behind Mr. Brutus like that. No, no-- don't be shy. I know that, as an Arachnid, my form may be a bit imposing; but I promise, the yellow stripes on my body are meant to scare away predators, not you-- precious. In fact, since you're the only human here, why don't you come up to the front and introduce yourself?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Oh, there's no need to be nervous. I'll have everyone introduce themselves at some point today, but since you're a human, and can weave through the various desks with ease, I think it makes sense to have you come to the front to make your introduction. That way, everyone can see you clearly, without having to try and peer behind Mr. Brutus.
[soft chuckling]
Professor E: You don't think you're that insteresting? Nonsense! As the only human vampire here, you must have a strong connection to Lady Valentina's bloodline. Why, I would wager that you have direct ties to one or more of the ancient magus families, making you arcanic nobility.
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: You're not sure? Well, how about this; you come up to the front and introduce yourself, and I promise to figure out the rest. Deal?
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: Yes, sweet thing; this is me volen-telling you to get up here, in the nicest way I know how (cheerful giggle).
[Brief Pause]
Professor E: That's the spirit! Let's get a big round of applause for our brave new freshman!
[Round of applause]
Professor E: (Whispering in Listener's ear) Sorry not sorry for the round of applause. When I saw how red you were getting up, I couldn't help myself, I had to tease you; even if only a little. Forgive me later... (Audibly, for the class) Now then, sweetpea, why don't you tell us what your name is, and what noble house of mages you belong to?
[END]

୧ .˚ₓ ☄️ introduction ☄️ ₓ˚. ୭

the gateway tapes. we've heard of them probably. or at least it has been referred to. especially around reddit. but, what are the gateway tapes? how do you obtain them? why are they important and what do they have to do to relate to shifting? i will answer all of these questions in this hopefully not too long post. though knowing me and how i tend to over explain things, it probably will be. a tldr will be at the bottom at the conclusion.
before we can get into how to use the gateway tapes and its relation to shifting, i need to talk about two important things. that being the origins of the gateway.

𓇻 the gateway project 𓇻

in the 1980s, a document was under works from the c.i.a. it was called the gateway process and took many years to figure out, do studies and tests on. this document was then released to the public in september of 2003. it is still accessible today. you can find information on it and the entire pdf document here. this is just a general and broad explanation of it.
the gateway process was meant to use sound frequencies to stimulate the brain and achieve higher levels of consciousness. now, it should be important to preface that this was in reference to astral projection, not quantum jumping/shifting. astral projection is the phenomenon of going into a sleep like state while your mind is awake and physically leaving your body and separating from it. though it is however not shifting, you can shift using this method. the main lead for this project is where shifting can come in.
in other words, the gateway process was looking into a theory to 'escape the confines of time and space.'

☆ robert monroe ☆

robert monroe lived from 1915 - 1995. he was originally a radio broadcaster; however, his broadcasting skills are not what we know him for. unless you are a radio and broadcast enthusiast of course. but no, we know him as the founder of the monroe institute; an organization dedicated to studying the truth to the human consciousness and its ever expanding and unlimited power that we are not aware of.
monroe had much to do with scientific ideas not from the mainstream view of it. he discussed communication with non-physical entities as well as astral projection.
in 1953, he created and founded r.a.m. enterprises; which was a radio programming show with various programs each month. this format seemed to have followed suit with him in the gateway tapes. later on in 1956, just three years later, he go on to study human consciousness using his enterprises.
the company made a specific division of research made to study certain patterns within the consciousness using brain waves. said patterns and brainwaves are what is used in the gateway tapes. and specifically, monroe focused especially on sleep learning. what we could obtain to learning in our sleep.
then, in 1958, just two years after he dedicated his studies to this idea of sleep learning, he experienced his first out-of-body experience, or o.b.e. for short. this o.b.e. is also known as astral projection; the phenomenon of purposefully leaving your body as pure consciousness. his experience was feeling 'sensations of paralysis' followed by vigorous vibrations and a bright white light that shined on him from an angle.
these experiences led to him becoming the leading researcher in the study of human consciousness at the time.
if you would like to know more about his experience, i will link an interview of him describing his first ever o.b.e. you may find that video right here.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ contents ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

now that i wrote down all the exposition as to what the tapes are, i'll be explaining what's in it. firstly, i will be talking about the tapes themselves and not the entirety of the gateway project. they are also used to unlock memories, control your physical body, or go to places you were not aware of before.
the gateway tapes are formatted in a specific way, each coming in waves and tapes. waves meaning sections or chapters. each chapter containing various different tapes within that subcategory. this makes it a bit hard to follow along. there are a total of six waves from what i have found thus far. if there are more than six, then i will update this post accordingly.
in total, there are 36 experiences, each around 30-40 minutes long.
in total, that is on average 1,260 minutes to listen to all of the tapes back to back with no breaks, give or take some minutes. that is almost a whole twenty four hours.
each contain a voice message from robert monroe himself explaining the use of the gateway tape. the first thing he does is ask the listener to put their headphones in as well as have one ear bud in a certain ear. you should initially be hearing his voice in your right ear. he will tell you the instructions as the tapes go on. the sounds that you will hear are called 'hemispheric synchronization' also known most notably as 'hemi-sync.'
now, hemi-sync is just another way to say brainwave synchronization. its goal is to use audio to synchronize two parts of your brain and make those brainwaves match. they do this with the right ear, left ear thing i was talking about earlier. hemi-sync is the core part in every gateway tape.
you don't have to listen to them all at once. in fact, don't. there are a lot of them. however, there are sub sections many split them up into because of how long they are. take it slow and one at a time.
they are all mental exercises and practices in order to help build the skill of exerting your energy. at our purest and rawest form, we are all energy. energy cannot be created nor destroyed. only changed. whenever and whatever we think exits our brain in the form of energy. the gateway tapes teaches us as the listener to use our energy and build around off of it. in our case, we do this in order to shift.
'i am more than my physical body. because i am more than physical matter, i can perceive that which is greater than the physical world...'

͙͘͡★ where to find ͙͘͡★

so, whenever people discuss the gateway tapes, they never tell you where to find them. so, where do you find them? if you are looking for just the hemi-sync portion, then going to youtube will be the best bet.
i have also found some important links below with the gateway tapes on youtube and completely free. it did take a bit to find all of these however, haha.
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave one playlist
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave two playlist
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave three playlist
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave four playlist
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave five playlist
: ̗̀➛ gateway experience wave six playlist
you do not have to listen to all of the tapes in theory. however, the tapes themselves come in the form of lessons. even if you do not use the tapes to shift, what you learn from them will help you a lot when it comes to learning techniques and applying those to shifting.
but, if you wish to skip only to the upmost important parts instead, then i have decided to link exactly which ones are most important based on information that i have gathered from my own personal experiences as well as from various others.
: ̗̀➛ wave one; track one
: ̗̀➛ wave one; introduction to focus ten
: ̗̀➛ wave one; experience three
now, this is a lot, so i have also put down some videos of hemi-sync itself.
: ̗̀➛ hemi-sync [monroe institute] playlist
: ̗̀➛ pure theta waves using hemi-sync video
: ̗̀➛ deep theta waves binural beats video
: ̗̀➛ hemi-sync shifting subliminal video
: ̗̀➛ hemi-sync shifting subliminal [must use headphones] video
editing here to add that it is best to listen through the gateway tapes through this google form that i will now link below. the entirety of the gateway tapes. thank you kind stranger who pointed this out to me.

✮⋆˙ void state ✮⋆˙

listening to and following along with the gateway tapes is one of the easiest ways to get to the void state. what is the void state? simply put, the void state is a deep state of meditation where you simply are. your awareness is not connected to anywhere, almost like you are floating within the void. it is a state of pure awareness and consciousness. not only does it do well for shifting, but it also benefits many people spiritually to just be. you may have heard people say the phrase 'mind awake, body asleep.' this is what the void state is.
within the void state, you have no fears, no anxieties, no worries, and no intrusive thoughts. you sometimes don't even realize you are within this state. manifestation and shifting will then be automatic. the way that the void state looks is different for everyone some people will perceive it differently, but the feeling of the void is still the same.
if you are following the gateway tapes carefully, you should be able to reach it. if not the first time, then after a couple of times of attempting. once you reach this state of awareness, you must say your affirmations.
as a general note, 'i am' affirmations work the best. i recommend 'i am' versus 'i will' because the latter implies 'not now, but eventually,' without setting a goal in mind on when to. this time in the void state is also where you start to visualize as best as you can. imagine yourself within your desired reality.

⋆˙⟡ my experience ⋆˙⟡

when using the gateway tapes, i found that it was easier to relax and ease myself. i felt more in sync with my subconscious in a way. as if i was able to understand myself better on a deeper level and be aware of it more.
i will be honest, it is great for those who have time. but, it may be overwhelming if you are either impatient or inexperienced with meditation. this is why i suggest meditating and building up to sitting through one whole tape. obviously, there is no way to finish it all in such an amount of time, but listening to one or two tapes a day can be very beneficial. this is not a 'super fast quick shifting method,' but it is a good one. especially if you wish to try to get to the void state.
as i said before, you can listen to only a few if needed but i really recommend listening to all of it. it's great for shifters and gives you the tools that you need to shift. now, as for shifting quickly, it may be quick. i think in my opinion, this is a quick way to shift. maybe not quick to some of you since quick can also be like a day or right this second. but, it is quick compared to spending years trying and it not working.
most importantly, the gateway tapes helps with mental blockages and working through why you don't allow yourself to shift. because really, there may be something that your conscious does not know, but your subconscious does. figuring that out can help you shift.

ᯓ★ conclusion ᯓ★

this took a while to do, goodness gracious. i am not sure what else to add here besides a quick tldr at the end here.
so for a brief explanation, the gateway tapes are used as a guide in order to expand the human consciousness of our limited view from what we perceive it to be as now in this moment. the founder of this being the late rober monroe, an former radio host whose life mission became to study the human consciousness. his studies led him to finding evidence of non local consciousness through the form of out of body experiences (obes) and found that you can self induce this state with something called astral projection.
monroe collaborated his studies with the c.i.a. in the 1980s, which is the famous document that you hear people quote from. this document records their findings of what they studied. they released said documents publicly in 2003, twenty years after their experiments were conducted. monroe also created the gateway tapes which can be used to awaken certain aspects of the mind using 'hemi-sync***'*** a type of audio that can synchronize your brainwaves. doing this can put you into a self hypnotic state and make your awareness/consciousness float between what is known as the void. this void state can then be used to help you shift. the gateway tapes have a series of lessons for you to learn from robert monroe himself.
i think my work here is done with this for today. i do hope that my words were helpful to at least one of you!
that's all for now and happy shifting! ᥫ᭡

This is another long read so happy reading yall :) this piece actually ended up being a commentary on a bunch of things abt s. Korean modern pop culture but I hope it'll still be a good read lol
I grew up in midwestern suburban America when I was super little. I was the only Asian girl in any class, ballet recital, or girl scout troop I was in. And I knew that I wasn't as pretty. I thought it was my flatter nose bridge, the shape of my eyes, and the very snide remarks from adults. But whenever I saw media from my "home country" (in quotes because Korea, not ROK is my home country) I saw that those women were beautiful. I didn't understand exactly why, but I knew that it was possible for me to look that way and I just... didn't.
Born in the diaspora, I noticed how Korea was viewed was centered around what we marketed and our goods, pop culture, etc. Whenever I consumed media from my country, I felt like I was consuming commodities. I knew there was more to my country than this marketed, sterilized view I was being presented, but I couldn't understand why that part was being hidden from me.
When I was about 11, I developed an eating disorder due to severe body dysmorphia. My biggest driving factor was because of s. Korean beauty standards. And all these expectations came almost entirely from the media industry in ROK, from kpop to kdramas to general kbeauty. It was a suffocating and never-ending spiral.
When I was 15, to climb out of the ditch I was in known as assimilating to general society after hospitalization in an abusive for-profit psych ward, I began trying to feel pretty again. I know I'm a Marxist, but I'd be lying if I said I don't find great joy and fun in doing my makeup every morning. I decided to write this because I felt that I could provide some sort of different insight to the commodification of "Westernized" East Asia as a girl who once was very far out of the beauty standard and then had a "glow up." It seems like nothing but it meant a whole lot. So here's feeling ugly under capitalism :)
Do you know my country? During my parents' childhoods? Probably not. But now, everyone knows what Korea is. They know two sides of a coin, or at least they think they do. The evil northern communists and the modern, developed south. But when you think of just "Korea", north Korea is likely the second one you think of. When you think "Korea," you likely think of our modern pop culture.
My country became so interesting, so appealing, so palatable for the wider consumer society and West after we were brutally occupied. The US genocided us and colonized us and continues to occupy us. We have puppet leaders who remain allied with the US. They look like us but talk like, move like, and act like the colonizer. The US supposedly brought development and democracy to us. My entire culture and identity became commercialized and commodified, and aren't we so appealing now?
We have Korea during international night and culture night at my school. But every year there's only 1 or 2 Koreans max in the group representing us (this year there were two *white* Israeli kids which made me try and implode), because the only form of representation we get is K-Pop. Our culture is to serve the purpose for consumers and Westerners, so that they can consume enjoyment and entertainment from us without confronting the blood of the system they defend.
You've likely seen at least one Kbeauty model in your lifetime, if you have social media you have almost definitely heard multiple kpop songs and seen multiple kpop idols, you've likely seen cutesy edits of our kdramas, but have you seen the photos of our dead after the US soldiers came? Have you seen the way we threw ourselves screaming into the streets against every US-backed dictatorship that overtook our country? Have you seen what the sanctions on the north by the US has done to us? Have you learned the real history of our genocide?
Why do you know my country?
It's called double eyelids It's the little fold into the skin right above your eye on your eyelid. Most white people have it, some rarer East Asians also have it like my mom, but the majority of us have mostly monolids. Thanks to my mom's genes and two years learning makeup, I've learned how to make mine very obvious. I remember when I finally figured out the tricks, I was actually ecstatic. Because I remember they were my biggest insecurity when I suffered from body dysmorphia. And that left me wondering why this beauty standard was the case.
American soldiers and doctors occupying Korea performed double eyelid surgery on Korean men and women. They wanted the men to look more "trustworthy" and for the women to be prettier. If you look at the beauty standard in Korea today, it's very much so Eurocentric. Our cosmetics reflect our colorism, there's this wave of "pick-mes" on social media who say "Korean makeup is so light because Koreans are light skinned" which I find hilarious, since my brother who is also 100% Korean is probably too dark for any foundation shade in the majority of kbeauty. It is absolutely a result of colorism. The standard has become paleness, big eyes, double eyelids, and a slim face.
Plastic surgery is common in ROK, don't worry it's not a racist stereotype, it's absolutely true. My mom has been used to this culture and I'm sure her comments aren't meant to be backhanded, but she sometimes suggests different surgeries I could get done when I'm an adult and very casually so. All of my aunts on my dad's side has had multiple surgeries. This obviously doesn't mean every Korean woman has "had work done," not at all, but is it engrained into our modern "culture"? Absolutely.
south Korea does have the highest rate of plastic surgery per capita. It is sometimes expected that women who are not "sufficiently pretty" to undergo at least a nose job or double eyelid surgery before entering the general work force. Beauty standards are horrible wherever you go, and America certainly isn't an exception, but it is absolutely different in ROK. Whenever I go back to the ROK, I notice that for the most part, everyone does their makeup the same, styles are generally also similar, etc etc. Korea's makeup industry probably commits the grossest amount of overproduction. Why? Because all our makeup is the same.
You'll notice that 90% of eyeshadow pallets in Korea are the same general cool-tone and warm-tone shades. 90% of lippies have at least 5 dupes on the market, and even ones that are technically a little different ultimately look the same after half an hour of wearing them. Our beauty standard is much more rigid and linear than anything I've seen growing up in the states, and not only that, the amount of product overproduction and artifically manufactured demand in order to sell these commodities is insane.
This isn't to bring down anyone who does choose to have plastic surgery or to wear makeup, putting on my makeup is one of the most fun parts of my day, but we have to ask ourselves, why has our country been commodified after colonization?
Kpop Here's the incoming buzzword. There's nothing wrong with liking kpop and I'll admit there's several songs that makes their regular rounds in my playlists. But there's something deeply fucked about the Kpop industry.
I used to think that hypersexualization and infantalization are opposite things. I had a little too much faith in the current world at the time. Korea's kpop and kdrama industry often simultanously infantalizes and hypersexualizes women and girls. This happens to both female and male idols, but the long-existing systemic oppression of women through patriarchy gives me a reason to feel the need to shine a particular spotlight on it. I notice I get more unwanted attention when I act more childish, it's really off-putting and gross.
The debut age of idols have always been quite young, they've been debuting idols who were minors way before 4th gen, but people are starting to realize how prevalant and fucked the problem is now. More and more 14 year olds are debuting into full-blast Kpop groups. We've likely at this point all heard about how hard becoming an idol is, that preteens and teen girls spend their entire lives as trainees, how companies treat their idols, especially their female idols, like cattle in terms of controlling their food, clothing, etc.
We've likely all heard about the insane celebrity culture around kpop idols. The obsessive fans, the dating scandals revealing how taboo it is for an idol to have any autonomy or relationship, that they have long been encouraged to appear open and available to their fans. Let me make the final connection that is necessary to understand the biggest overarching corruptions of this industry. It is one of the highest pinnacles of commodification of "the self", both in terms of individual idols and our national identity/ethnicity, a direct commodification of people. Ironically, this over-commodification leads to a completely lack of individuality. "Individualism" under capitalism is a complete lie and easily crumbles and gives way when it comes to capitalist interests.
Oftentimes, I'm extremely uncomfortable with how even other Korean guys view me/Korean girls. Whether it's because of more long-standing misogynistic beliefs or the influences by modern s. Korean culture, the idea of us being cute and childish while being physically appealing is something that is thrown onto me from both white guys and fellow Korean guys.
The combined rigidity of of our beauty standards and their direct relationship with the most obvious facets of our "culture industry" stems from occupation, colonization, and being a Western vassal state. "Culture industry" is exactly what I would call it. Our culture is a commodity, and for that reason, almost all of our actual culture, history, and heritage, are constantly trying to be buried. Why do you think some of the most heinous anti-Palestine things I've heard are from other Korean-Americans?
"Sooo is that like, a school girl fit?" I like to wear makeup, skirts, do my hair, all that jazz. Over time I've noticed that out of all the multitudes of different ways I stylize myself, the most amount of compliments I get from men and guys I've dated are when I'm dressed like a school girl. That's a problem. Obviously this school girl sexualization phenomenon isn't exclusive to East Asia. But the commodification of our countries have certainly increased it tenfold.
I wonder why an infantalized version of me is seen as the most appealing so often. Then I went back to analyzing s. Korea's pop industry. From the way Korean women are portrayed as petit and little, innocent and shy, as something exotic and fetishized but not like we could be aware of that, to the way that there are entire trends for Korean girls to act cutesy and childish, this idea of "appealing pureness" has been thrown onto Asian women. This can apply across the entirety of patriarchy, but again, this issue is aggravated when it comes to us in particular. The world wants us to be sexual, but god forbid that we know we're being sexual or sexy. If you don't get sexualized, then wtf are you, if you sexualize yourself then you're a whore. The fetishization around East Asian women ultimately comes to fetishising Orientalist views.
That is the fashion that we have been culturally colonized in and commodified as. It's well-known that fetishization of Asian women is common. In the "underdeveloped" world, men travel to these countries to exploit Asian women through the sex trade. In the "developed" world, our identities are marketed and turned into commodities.
And even then, if you dig deeper, you can find more about the utter lack of protection for victims of sexual exploitation in the ROK. There have been many cases of internet sex trafficking in ROK, cases of rape are notoriously under-persecuted, there is somehow an even higher societal protection and tolerance of creepy and rapey behavior from men, our oppression is woven into the fabric of capitalism.
Scaled I'll keep this part brief. Content warning ahead. My eating disorder was really bad. Learning how to not feel ugly was hard.
When I wasn't pretty enough, I got to experience just how crushing the beauty standards inflicted onto us after colonization are. After I became pretty enough I got to experience just how severely commodified we are.
From the River to the Sea I wanted to finish this up with a point about how directly intertwined ROK is with the US and its 51st state of Israel. the ROK continues to deny recognition of Palestine and arms Israel. Kpop groups are not only commodifications in of themselves, but are direct vessels for advertising through companies. Idols can get in huge trouble simply for revealing their brand of phone without an explicit, company approved partnership.
Since the beginning of the October 2023 genocide of Palestine, Kpop groups such as IVE have done explicit, direct partnerships with companies like McDonalds, and many other idols have been seen doing more implicit advertising, such as holding products with the obvious logos of such companies like Starbucks. None of this is an accident.
Kpop stans absolutely throw themselves all over the place to defend their favorite idols. Alienation under capitalism leads to insane parasocial relationships, made extremely obvious by some of the crazy aspects of Kpop fandoms. There are good handfuls of Kpop fans are pro-Palestine, but there are also an insane sea of Kpop stans who still defend their idols and infantalize them by claiming they don't know about Palestine.
Lies. Lies lies lies. Like any capitalist, vassal country, yes there has been a relative lack of discourse and undrestanding about Palestine in ROK historically, I'm not denying that, but especially since the recent genocide, Koreans have been protesting and educating each other, especially college students. Also, half of these idols' careers are online, they do know about Palestine. But moreover, this is less of an issue about each individual idol, and a deeper reflection on the companies that own them and most importantly, the entire capitalist system as a whole. the Kpop fanbase is one of the clearest reflections of how alienation under capitalism is capitalized and exploited in order to further protect the existing imperialist system.
Our history and culture may have been corporate-washed and commodified, but as I've heard many Palestinain speakers say over the last several months of agitation, you can rip a flower from its soil but it'll still always know its roots. I know my roots, we know our roots. We know our roots are not in the colonizer's flashy advertisements, we know our roots are in revolution and resistance. From the river to the sea, from Baekdusan to Hallasan, Palestine will be free and Korea will be one.
Un-ugly I understand now the material conditions that led to my eating disorder and the eating disorders of so many other Korean girls, now when I look back on the photos of how I used to look, I don't feel sad because of how I looked, but because I know I wasn't healthy in the slightest, mentally or physically.
I've always had vague criticisms of how especially Korean girls are commodified and how our identity has been colonized. As I became a Marxist, I began to have sharper and more precise criticisms, and I understood for a while that our the distorted portrayal and marketing of our identities has become a sort of mutant capital.
Now as I reflect on both the emotions I experienced up and down, up and down, as I struggled with my eating disorders, self harm addictions, and depression and my newer knowledge of colonialism, capitalist imperialism, and alienation, and materialism I understand something now.
Under this system, yes our culture, traditions, identity, bodies, and roles to the empire are commodities.
But additionally, my girlhood is the commodity, our girlhood is the commodity.
I am the commodity. We are the commodity.

DISCLAIMER I know a lot of this post is barely related to the subject or very redundant. The main reason I’m sharing is to get people engaging and maybe help others if they’re at a dead end with their research. I didn’t include any in my original posts for this reason. Please don’t read if you’re going to get pissed and say I wasted your time. I warned you.
One last weird connection with loose ties to Drake
The Drake and Delilah Connection: An Expose on the Hollywood Club Scene and it’s Controversial Connections and History
Before I start I just want to say this is a fraction of the info online, but many articles are behind a paywall on the LA Times site. If anyone is interested and has or wants to buy a subscription feel free to add more in the comments. The price is not too bad, I just don’t need any more links because this post is already insanely long. I’d also be willing to bet there are thousands of court cases related to these clubs that could be relevant.
I think I may have shared this first part or seen it posted, but I have a real weird feeling about the club Delilah in Hollywood. It is located on 7969 Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood. I find this interesting because it’s a huge celebrity hotspot and has been shouted out constantly these last couple years. I read an article about AK meeting SixNine’s manager and him saying it felt like some Illuminati shit was going down. A very interesting connection is it used to be called Club 7969. Here’s a quote from a very interesting article about Club 7969 along with a link to the full article. From the looks of it the location has been extremely popular over the last couple decades despite a couple name changes. Excuse the outdated terminology, a lot of sources are from the nineties and early 2000’s.
“Club 7969, at the corner of Santa Monica and Fairfax in West Hollywood, was packed as usual last Friday night. Fridays and Mondays are drag night at the club, and flocks of trannies in full feather turn out for the midnight stage show. The drag revue also draws a large contingent of transsexual prostitutes and their johns, including, until recently, the house celebrity, Atison Seiuli, a.k.a. Shalimar, who was riding with Eddie Murphy in his Land Cruiser when the pair got stopped by the LAPD a year ago this week.
Seiuli died two weeks ago, falling to her death from the roof of her apartment building on South Berendo Street in Koreatown. According to Rampart homicide detectives, Seiuli, wearing only panties and a bra, had locked herself out of her apartment and was trying to lower herself from the roof to her fifth-floor window with a towel tied to a railing.” https://www.laweekly.com/the-new-hollywood-sinkhole/
Not only does the above quote possibly directly connect to the whole ballroom drag stuff, it may also contribute to rumors of many male rappers and other famous people being caught with trans women. Obviously it’s not a huge deal anymore, but it’s always been a thing. A few more interesting connections are the Drake song 7969 Santa and all the Delilah shoutouts he’s made throughout the years. The owner even calls him family.
I linked a very interesting Reddit post I found from five years ago with more info below. Y’all can thank the Drake sub for digging up dirt in their boy. https://www.reddit.com/Drizzy/comments/dpnk0n/a_study_into_some_of_drakes_street_ties/?rdt=60420
Another weird connection is the initials of Santa Monica are S and M, which is interesting considering the past history with Dominatrix shows, which can get fucking nuts apparently. I have a wild theory this may be where Drake got his alleged blackmail on Ye and potentially a lot of other artists. In the description on Delilah’s Instagram page it says, “nothing to see here.”
Delilah is part of a large group of famous nightclubs owned by a company called The h.wood Group, which is owned by Brian Toll and partner John Terzian. Apparently they’re involved with Coachella, Cannes, and F1, along with many others.
Below are two very interesting articles about Terzian. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/28/style/john-terzian-hwood-clubs.html
This one talks about his ambitions to get into the hotel business. https://hwoodgroup.com/h-wood-groups-john-terzian-dishes-on-what-it-took-to-build-a-35m-nightclub-and-restaurant-business/
I don’t mean to go to weird here, but does anyone find his love of chicken tenders a little odd? With the tender reference that Kendrick made I’m starting to think there might be something more to this word and chicken tenders could had some other meaning. I know it sounds like some p gate shit, but you never know. Please don’t take the definitions below too seriously odds are the dude just has the pallet of a ten year old or he could be a Wall Street Bets bro 😭
Potential possibilities from urban dictionary:
Chicken Definitions- “A term used to describe a young (generally gay) male; often used with connotations of twink.”
“An underage male who prostitutes himself to middle-age men -- usually married professionals and businessmen -- by standing on certain city streetcorners known for the "chicken trade."
“chicken is an underage boy who older guys like to have sex with.”
“An attractive woman with thighs and breasts (like a real chicken)”
“An attractive woman with thighs and breasts (like a real chicken)”
“A young woman/A young homosexual”
I know there is also the expression “choking the chicken,” so it could be referring to male genitalia. I also see a few people using it as a code word for weed and meth, which are both massively popular in the club scene, LBGTQ community, and LA (also the whole west coast pretty much).
Tender Definitions- “Used to descibe a female who is very good looking in that innocent way.”
“The dating app for underage children”
“A feminine acting male”
“A male’s tender meat, the testicles, the softies, the soft ones”
“Young innocent girl”
“These said "Tendahs" must be of legal age otherwise they're just chicken nuggets.. stay away from chicky nuggets.”
“an adjective describing someone or something being sexually attractive or "hot", this term is especially used in the male gay community”
“A pussy or vagina”
Chicken tender definitions- “Testicles”
“Fat elongated cocks”
A girl under the age of 18, but looks of that to be older.”
“Refers to a man over 40 years old who is sexually appealing to younger females”
“Someone who is especially well skilled with cock”
As I said, there are probably similar definitions for most words on UD, and even if there was some hidden meaning, chances are it’s probably just a gay thing.
The same article also spoke about going into the hotel game. Has anyone made the connection between Hilton hotels and Paris Hilton who inspired the Kardashians and many other families to exploit their daughters to get them famous. Anyone remember her talking about the Elon school recently? She also used to be the OG do nothing celebrity back in the day. It could just be my distaste for most billionaires, but who knows how deep the hotel shit really goes.
I also found a high end hotel in Hollywood that may be for swingers, but also may be into some weird shit behind closed doors. I was going to post the link, but their site conditions were so strict and scary I’m not even mentioning their name. It is in LA, as are pretty much all the places I mention below. I tried to narrow things down to West Hollywood which is where Delilah is located and where Drake and Ye used to live, along with tons of other hugely influential people. I never knew until recently, but there are two other Delilah locations in Miami and Vegas. All three cities are known for a lot of debauchery and they all tend to be celebrity hotspots.
LA articles- Background of club mentions a TON of relevant people. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/06/how-delilah-became-unofficial-sanctuary-for-the-rich-and-famous
Apparently no phones allowed, maybe unless you’re considered family. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/video/kanye-west-drake-more-flock-new-west-hollywood-hot-spot-delilah-thr-eats-952265/
Vegas Articles- Mentions a lot of h.wood clubs and more attached celebrities. https://hwoodgroup.com/hollywoods-swanky-supper-club-delilah-is-coming-to-the-strip/
Another article with more info. https://www.forbes.com/sites/yolarobert1/2021/06/16/the-hwood-group-is-partnering-with-the-wynn-to-bring-delilah-to-las-vegas/?sh=39362e04c9fe
Miami Article- Discusses the opening of new location and history of club https://www.miaminewtimes.com/restaurants/waterfront-restaurant-and-lounge-delilah-miami-opens-in-brickell-18646289
Some more articles about the previous clubs at 7969 Santa Monica, the owners, LGBTQ community connections, and some sex/fetish clubs that are still operating to this day. This whole section is going to be NSFW. I tried avoiding any direct links to anything super explicit, but I’ll make another warning before the link if I think it’s important enough to post. I can’t promise what you’ll come across if you research further into this subject. Please be careful going on any direct sites tied to any sex related organizations and if you find something sketchy at least read the user conditions on the site before posting or sharing any info. You never know if they’re doing everything by the book, and one of the sites I visited seemed to be trying very hard to download malware on people’s devices. They even mention they can’t be held liable if anything you click on their site happens to give you a virus.
I found that kind of odd considering the rest of the site looked like a p gate researchers wet dream lol. There is always the chance they could just be trolling that exact same crowd. The one thing that made me take it at all somewhat seriously was the fact that the site belonged to a pretty high end location. The owners could also just be quirky, but I’m definitely being more careful to make it clear that my claims are just theories from now on. The way the sub is going lately it couldn’t hurt. One last thing please don’t harass any businesses or people related to them for any reason, even if they seem sketchy. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and it’s not fair to accuse someone of anything unless you have irrefutable evidence. This is one of the biggest reasons I believe that there is more to the story. I really don’t think Kendrick would have said what he said if he didn’t know at least something for certain.
Ok last thing I promise, another important thing to remember is just because you see some freaky ass shit doesn’t mean it’s illegal. Some BDSM stuff can seem really fucked up to someone who is more reserved or has no experience with these types of kinks and fetishes. As long as everyone is of age, chances are it’s all consensual and no one should be shamed for their kinks. These connections are more for people to see how heavily sex influences Hollywood. Please don’t harass or kink shame some innocent people trying to get their freak on. I know there’s a big gray area here, but it’s always best not to antagonize anybody unless you want to pay to back it up in court. It also makes it fair game for them to do the same to you and things may not always end up going in you favor.
Another article about h.wood and it’s connection to Hakkasan group. Hakkasan is now owned with Mohari which has a massive portfolio of hotels, apartments, yachts, and restaurant groups. https://hwoodgroup.com/the-h-wood-group-announces-reacquisition-of-global-rights-from-hakkasan-group/
https://moharihospitality.com/portfolio/
Warning there is a lot of policitcal incorrectness or generally offensive shit in some of these articles and quotes. Please try to just look at the facts and avoid any anti-LBGTQ language or conspiracies. A ton of different rappers and famous black men have been accused of or have been caught with men or trans women. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I get why it is for some people. There is no excuse for any type of ignorance and I will gladly remove some of these links if people think they’re harmful.
Club 7969 has a very wild history, and was formerly known as Peanuts. Here are a few more related articles I found aside from the Eddie Murphy one.
An article from 95 about club 7969 https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1995-03-24-ca-46449-story.html
Articles describing area around Club 7969 as a hotspot for trans folk and further discusses a famous hate crime murder in the area. This is still a HUGE issue today. https://la.indymedia.org/js/?v=cont&url=/news/2003/10/86034.json
https://www.advocate.com/crime/2021/11/09/marquiisha-lawrences-death-makes-2021-deadliest-transgender-people
Article going in to the club’s history and some of it’s many name changes. Apparently it used to be a jazz club at first, then it turned into The Pink Pussycat which was apparently super popular with The Rat Pack. I find it interesting some members were known for having some interesting sexual proclivities. After it closed it was bought again and renamed Peanuts, which was primarily targeted towards lesbians for a while. After Peanuts came Club 7969. https://forward.com/life/122322/the-jewish-matriarchs-of-striptease/
An article related to the one above that may have a House of Ebony connection. I honestly can’t understand more than half of it lol https://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/18/nyregion/thecity/18burl.html
Another article mentioning two more clubs previously located at 7969 Santa Monica, this is like five now and some appear pretty kinky. Voyeur came after Club 7969 and was followed by The Box, which became DBA then Delilah. I may be missing some, but I think I covered them all. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/burlesque-club-to-open-in-former-voyeur-location
Some random magazine saying Voyeur was one of the top five LA party spots. https://www.thefashionspot.com/runway-news/170899-partying-in-los-angeles-top-5-celebrity-hotspots/
Here is an article about Voueur saying it was inspired by the movie Eye’s Wide Shut. Jesus Christ! Stanley Kubrick probably did get killed. http://www.guestlisthollywood.com/voyeur-club.html
Article mentioning political scandal attached to Voyeur club. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/new-nightclub-going-into-former-voyeur-club
NSFW Only video ever filmed inside the club Voyeur, I thought I was about to watch someone get murdered at first, but it’s just a weird, five minute commercial with tons of boobs. https://vimeo.com/106139205
Articles about DBA which only was open for like two years before it was taken over by owners of Delilah. Apparently DBA was one of the best fetish clubs in Hollywood. https://patch.com/california/westhollywood/new-weho-nightclub-replacing-voyeur-to-be-always-evolving-always-changing
https://laist.com/news/entertainment/the-best-fetish-clubs-in-los-angeles
When I was looking up more about Voyeur, which was also a huge celeb hotspot, a lot of other really sketchy looking results popped up with direct links to current sex clubs. I’m not gonna link any and I’d stay away from most of them besides the SNCTM one that seems to be pretty mainstream knowledge and has a Showtime series dedicated to it. Regardless there probably are a lot of very risky clicks on all these sites.
I advise people to stay away from any direct sites and stick mostly to articles. The LA times has more than enough. Trust me I’m sure some of these sites also contain shit you wouldn’t want to see or have in your search history.
I also found a few links to a couple very well funded, massive swinger groups with tons of connections all over the world. I would hope it’s just a lot of rich and horny old people, but this whole industry tends to attract some unsavory people as well. I never expected this LA sex club rabbit hole to go so deep. It all started with the Eddie Murphy connection.
Articles about a VIP Hollywood sex club called SNCTM. Apparently the founder got blacklisted for revealing Hunter Biden is a member lol no wonder all the republicans want what’s on his laptop! You really can’t make this shit up. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snctm_(club)
The website is Illuminati as hell, also extremely NSFW. How the fuck does a sex cult have m a full product line? The founder’s website also looks like it belongs to a 60’s sex cult. He kinda reminds me of Jared Leto. If this is what they’re willing to show the public I can not imagine how wild shit gets behind closed doors. Apparently, SMCTM hosts events in LA, NYC, Miami, Moscow, Kiev, and other places around the world.
I find the political ties here very interesting. I wonder who else might be a member? Apparently it’s based out of NYC, but it’s flagship club was in LA. Anyone want to start a Gofundme to try and raise a million dollars so someone in the sub can become a Violet Key Benefactor and collect some more dirt? Kidding please don’t. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a22116662/snctm-celebrity-sex-party/
https://nypost.com/2023/05/20/damon-lawner-founded-sex-club-snctm-it-ruined-his-marriage/
https://www.wmagazine.com/culture/karley-sciortino-sanctum-unmasked-podcast-snctm-sex-club-interview
It reminds me a lot of NXIVM cult with the celebrities that got busted not too long ago. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NXIVM
Some more popular Hollywood nightclubs that were notorious or very sketchy
Article about Fake club https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/01/the-secret-history-of-hollywoods-wildest-club-in-the-1980s
The Chapel in The Abbey is a popular LGBTQ club in West Hollywood that seems to be connected to the culture. https://thepridela.com/2020/01/las-only-known-trans-nightlife-event-just-got-a-little-more-fierce/
An article from late 2023 about the history of the bar https://www.foxla.com/news/the-history-of-the-abbey-west-hollywoods-world-famous-gay-bar
Another interesting article from a few months later about The Abbey’s sudden closing. Good think it only took 17 years of allegations for them to get shut down 🙃 https://19thnews.org/2024/01/investigation-the-abbey-los-angeles/
The Odyssey club’s owner John Nash was allegedly the mastermind behind the Wonderland murders and a huge celebrity drug dealer. He also owned the Starwood Club in West Hollywood, the Soul'd Out club in Hollywood, Paradise Ballroom, the Seven Seas, Ali Baba’s and The Kit Kat strip club. Celebrity dealers are another really interesting rabbit hole to go down as well. https://laist.com/news/climate-environment/laistory-all-ages-dance-club-the-od
Two more articles about the famous Viper Room where River Phoenix died. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2022/04/13/viper-room-closing/
https://www.visitwesthollywood.com/stories/feature-the-viper-room/
NSFW More about all types of fetish clubs and communities in LA https://thekinkytourist.com/the-kinky-guide-to-los-angeles/
One group claims to host a Dominatrix convention at the Hilton near LAX and also claims to have worked with HBO, Netflix, Showtime, Epix, and VH1. “Hotel parties” also seem to be a common trend amongst these very sex-positive communities. Renting out cruise ships and resorts all over the world seems to be common as well. To me this shows they are at the very least well funded and have a global reach. Chances are it’s a bunch of fat, old, married couples who no one would want to watch get down like at The Villages in Florida. It seems like many of the more exclusive ones could potentially have some influential members.
Article about sex club The Vault and it’s celebrity guests including Naomi Campbell. Looks like it’s from an old ass gossip site though so I would do further research. https://www.cinema.com/news/item/2779/stars-secret-sex-club-revealed.phtml
Unfortunately homophobia was always been prevalent in the industry and the source of lots of gossip. It was definitely very prevalent in the rap game in the nineties and early 2000’s. For those who don’t know Ma$e was part of Bad Boy Records. Considering the blackmail allegations against Diddy, and how Ma$e seems to have a vendetta against the guy, I wonder if this info hitting the public had anything to do with him. https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.5241/title.mase-caught-with-a-transvestite
I also stumbled onto the song Disguise by Skepta, it’s super offensive, but weirdly on Genius.com the number one related song is Pi by J. Cole and Daylyt, which has been mentioned on the sub a few times. I just thought it was interesting because it just randomly popped up in my searches while looking into this whole subject. I looked into Skepta and saw he was a British rapper who once did a song with a Nigerian rapper named Wizkid and Drake. It’s funny when you read the Wizkid wiki he also got caught denying a son. Skepta also did a few songs with the A$ap crew including A$ap Bari, who got kicked out of the crew a few years later. Lastly he also did a whole private show with Ye, so he could have connections to the whole blind item thing with the British rappers.
This next section is mostly for education, entertainment, and engagement so free to skip this one, especially if you though the rest was a waste of your time lol
Dolph Theory Continued…
I forgot to add something to my Young Dolph conspiracy in the last post. I find it very interesting that his song “Hall of Fame” came out in 2022, after his death. He also just so happens to directly call out Diddy and Jay Z. Considering the timeline it seems like he died not long after recording it unless it was just part of his catalogue of unreleased songs. He also calls himself “the Frank Lucas of the south” which might have also pissed Diddy off considering who his father is. I attached the lyrics of the first part below.
“Ha, I see you niggas goin' broke tryna keep up with me (I see you)
Bad boy spendin' millions out here like I'm signed to Diddy (it's Dolph)
Showed up plain jane Rolex, had a meetin' with Roc Nation (okay)
But they got 'bout four, five, six rap niggas over there that be hatin' (on God)
But I still fuck with Jigga, tell him I got two million for him (for what?)
To do a verse, and if he don't, I still got love for him (on God)“
In my opinion he’s implying that he’s above both of them and has more power in the south than they do up north. I’m sure neither appreciated the shout out considering their past histories. It makes me wonder if this whole beef with Yo Gotti was started as an excuse to take Dolph out. Hilariously it ended up backfiring and making him even more famous and their own artist look like the bitch he is. That would explain the many broad day assassination attempts following a relatively tame diss track compared to “Not Like Us” or some others in the last. I always loved Dolph because he never had any real dirt come out about him despite his past and long history in the rap game.
Another Disclaimer I’m not super into all of these artists and I know very little about most of their backgrounds. Honestly some of them are pretty corny in my opinion, but seem to connect with a lot of people. Please don’t attack me here, I’ve just been pretty good at finding artists with mainstream potential. I’m getting old and I’m sure it shows, but if you do agree or disagree I’d love to hear why. I hope all of this could possibly lead to changes in the industry that will allow some of these artists to get the attention they deserve. Maybe if Drake isn’t able to manipulate the algorithms and hog the spotlight it will open up some room for new talent.
I also tried making a separate list of as many people I could think of that I see possibly making waves in the future. I tried including artist’s that might not be on everyone’s radar for anyone in the same boat as I am. If you’re a rap fan I’m sure you know the majority though. The list includes some independent, some local, a few underground, and a couple brand new artists who I think are slept on or that might have mainstream potential. The list contains mostly rappers or artists who I consider at least somewhat adjacent to the rap game (they are in no particular order).
That Mexican OT, Key Glock, Peso Peso, Lil Darkie, Lil Boondang, Azizi Gibson, Paris, Texas, Kurffew, Lil Ugly Mane, RXKNephew, Tom the Mailman, ilyTOMMY, Lil Toe, Curtis Waters, ICECOLDBISHOP, 1nOnly, Mick Jenkins, Injury Reserve, Danger Incorporated, Alex Wiley, Finesse2Tymes, Mach Hommy, Navy Blue, 42 Dugg, Teezo Touchdown, AM, TrippyThaKid, MIKE, Chester Watson, Tabby, Shy Glizzy, Jakey, Savage Ga$p, BigXthePlug, Hunxho, Kenny Mason, Billy Marchiafava, Jean Dawson, Daylyt, SpotemGottem, Pooh Shiesty, Victor Internet, Kevin Abstract, KYLE, Powfu, Shrimp, NF, Tiagz, Lentra, Michael Motorcycle, Oh Geezy, L’Orange, Jeremiah Jae, Hoodrich Pablo Juan, Ramirez, Ghostmane, Witchhouse 40k, Kxllswxtch, Haarper, Yunggoth, Dom McLennon, Merlyn Wood, Woodie Smalls, Sniper2004, Teejayx6, Kasher Quon, BabyTron, Polo G, Famous Dex, Felix Flexin, Hemlock Ernst (Sam Herring), 83 Cutlass, Snupe Bandz, Big Moochie Grape, Sikworld, Futuristic, Dash, Hooligan Chase, Freddie Sunshine, Triple One, Roy Blair, OG Maco, Cousin Stizz, Desiigner, Nebu Kiniza, Bas, KAYTRANADA, DRAM, $NOT, The Buttress, Rav, NADA5150, Tierra Whack, Father, IDK, Rich Brian, Lil Wop, Bill $aber, Warhol.SS, Mike Lolli, Lil Tecca, August 08, Rejjie Snow, Princess Nokia, Lil Mariko, Fukkit, Guapdad 4000, Key!, 24kGoldn, Salami Rose Joe Louis, Terror Reid, Ameer Vaan, ITSOKTOCRY, Divine Council, Rob $tone, Hozzy, Yung Scandoo, Clipping., Junglepussy, Kenny Beats, Zack Fox, UnoTheActivist, Hodgy, Left Brain, GERM, Al Wonder, SBTRKT, Gao the Arsonist, Christ Dillinger, BRUHMANEGOD, Armand Hammer, Manny Sanchez, Big Baby Scumbag, Bishop Nehru, Allan Kingdom, Nosaj Thing, Bobby Raps, Earthgang, SadBoyProlific, Milkavelli, Zzz., Lilbootycall, and Higher Brothers if they can improve their English.
RIP Cloudy Nueve, Lil Keed, and Sad Frosty *Update I forgot Injury Reserve broke up after Groggs died. I don’t want to start any conspiracies, but they’re another example of a group that was hit by tragedy when they were possibly on the verge or taking off. I always felt like they could have taken some of the spotlight off of Migos and I know they both recorded in LA a lot around the time. My ex’s brother used to intern at a studio where Quavo and some other QC artists frequented and he said they were all kinda shady. Also another friend of mine with close industry ties has been saying QC was shady for almost a decade now.
And last but not least…Captain Murphy if Flylo hasn’t abandoned the project or rapping entirely and he doesn’t retire first or switch entirely to soundtracks and directing movies. It was released in the form of a 35 minute music video made by Xavier Wulf. Along with the music it includes a step by step guide to becoming a cult leader. I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys MF Doom or other sample heavy rappers. I won’t include the link because it is EXTREMELY NSFW, but the album/video is called Duality. The version on Vimeo is the full uncensored version, but I’m pretty sure you can find an edited version on YouTube that doesn’t contain the graphic sex scenes.
For those who don’t know Flylo and Kendrick are frequent collaborators. My wet dream collab would be the two of them with Flylo rapping alongside Kendrick. If I could bring one rapper back from the dead to make it a trio, it would without question be Doom. It can’t be AI generated though because we all saw how that went for Drake. On top of that Doom’s wife already lost her husband and son and one of his past collaborators stole all his journals. Last I heard still hasn’t returned them, but I could be wrong. It might be a good thing this collab is no longer possible. I doubt anyone would ever be able to top it in my eyes and even if they did fifty full albums it would never be enough. I’d probably never feel music the same again.
My big three rappers who are still alive include Kendrick, Flylo, and probably Earl Sweatshirt. My big three dead rappers I’d want to see collaborate would probably be Young Dolph, MF Doom, and probably Mac Miller. My alternates would probably be Ye, Bone Thugz, and maybe Tyler the Creator on team Earth, along with Lil Peep, Xxxtentacion, and Juice Wrld on team Universe. Also RIP Lil Bo Weep, the poor girl was clearly a victim of the industry and I think she could have been huge, especially with the Tumblr crowd, if her mental health didn’t get in the way.
Below are some more artists I see being very competitive or marketable in the future. It mostly contains musicians who are already pretty well established, but still not really considered mainstream.
03 Greedo, Jasiah, JID, Khalid, Curren$y, Big K.R.I.T., Oliver Tree, Ski Mask The Slump God, slowthai, Steve Lacy, YG, Jay Electronica, Lil Tjay, G Herbo, Maxo Cream, D4VD, Danny Brown, A$AP Ferg , Action Bronson, Kevin Gates, MadeinTYO, Yung Lean, Thundercat, Cuco, Sheck Wes, FKA twigs, Baby Keem, Jpegmafia, Joey Bada$$, Rico Nasty, Freddie Gibbs, Shakewell, Cordae, Rx Papi, Isaiah Rashad, Flatbush Zombies, Freddie Dredd, bbno$, Yeat, Death Grips, Yung Gravy, Smino, Pouya, Fat Nick, Corbin, Goldlink, BIA, Joji if he starts rapping again and actually takes it seriously.
For my bilingual people I’m not sure how mainstream these guy are outside the states so if any are already major league, retired, or horrible people let me know. Same goes for all the rappers above.
Kaktov, Happy Colors, Santa Fe Klan, Jackson, Gig Yag, Mora, and Big Soto
Some potential producers that I could see making a name for themselves
Shlomo, TNGHT, XXYYXX, Psymun, Giraffage, Getter, NxxxxxS, and Nedarb
Unfortunately I ran out of room for some additional info about Kodak Black, substance use disorders, psychology, and recovery options anyone can use. If anyone is interested I can send it. I know I’m already gonna get shit all the tangents. I also have another in depth essay I recently wrote outlining my conspiracy about the US opioid epidemic. Again I won’t attach it here, but if these type of subjects are relevant or interesting to you I can send it through private messages. I hope some of this knowledge may be helpful to someone struggling or helping someone who’s struggling with their mental health or substance abuse issues.
Last thing I want to talk about is the current issue I’ve seen a lot of people being threatened, doxxed, and harassed. I know how much this can suck, so everyone who has avoided it thus far please be thoughtful about what your posting here. I always try to make it clear everything I post are theories strung together by facts or coincidences. Every single thing I claim that can’t directly be backed up by a legitimate source is just my personal opinion or theory. There are also a lot of ways you can avoid any issue. Don’t be dumb, but also don’t let anyone intimidate into staying silent.
If there are any lawyers in this sub or possibly reading this post, it would be very helpful if you could share some guidelines for what is ok and what to be careful about posting. Most people including myself probably aren’t aware about the specifics of these types of things and what would qualify as defamation vs. what’s protected by free speech. Even if you’re on the other team and here to build a case against a user in this community, if you took a minute or two to share some advice you’d gain a lot of my respect.
If you made it this far I hope you were able to gain something from this little bonus section. If you feel like I wasted your time I apologize, but I did warn you. I encourage people to keep criticism productive or at least keep the trolling to a minimum. Feel free to downvote me to hell, it’s really not important to me and you guys also shouldn’t let things like Karma influence what you share and what you don’t. If you see something good or bad speak up and don’t be afraid of negative feedback. Not everyone is going to agree with everything you say, especially when it’s important. Having the bravery to say it anyway is what separates leaders from followers and often the good from the bad. It may be more important than anyone realizes.
Thanks again for sticking around,
The Randomest Moniker

Omnivoracious Listeners New Music Newsletter (Week of June 2nd):
New LPs:
🇺🇸 (+-) - 'Further Afield' (Genre: Indie Rock, Indietronica)
🇨🇦 Adversarial - 'Solitude With the Eternal...' (Genre: Black Death)
🇫🇷 ADX - 'l'Empire Du Crépuscule' (Genre: Speed Metal)
🇬🇧 Age of Distraction - 'A Game of Whispers' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇨🇦 Amery - 'Continue as Amery' (Genre: Indie Pop)
🇮🇹 Anims - 'Good N Evil' (Genre: Hard Rock)
🇺🇸 Annie Williams - 'Visitor' (Genre: Folk Rock, Roots Rock)
🇺🇸 Another Michael - 'Pick Me Up, Turn Me Upside Down' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇳🇴 Arachno - 'Impending Doom' (Genre: Groove Metal)
🇺🇦 Arhat - 'Secrets of Ancient Gods' (Genre: Groove Metal)
🇮🇸 Árstíðir Lífsins - 'Aldrlok' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇧🇷 Auro Control - 'The Harp' (Genre: Prog Power Metal)
🇺🇸 Babe Report - 'Did You Get Better' (Genre: Power Pop)
🇬🇧 Bad Nerves - 'Still Nervous' (Genre: Garage Punk)
🇺🇸 Bad Omens - 'Concrete Jungle (The OST)' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇮🇹 Barock Project - 'Time Voyager' (Genre: Prog Rock, Symphonic Rock)
🇺🇸 Bastardane - 'Cararonic Symphony' (Genre: Stoner Metal)
🇺🇸 Bat for Lashes - 'The Dream of Delphi' (Genre: Art Pop, Synthpop)
🇺🇸 Bats & Mice - 'PS: Seriously' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇬🇧 Beak> - '>>>>' (Genre: Krautrock, Experimental Rock)
🇳🇴 Beaten to Death - 'Sunrise Over Rigor Mortis' (Genre: Grindcore)
🇺🇸 Bed Maker - 'Bed Maker' (Genre: Post-Punk)
🇬🇧 Bernard Butler - 'Good Grief' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Big Head Todd & the Monsters - 'Her Way Out' (Genre: Roots Rock)
🇨🇭 Black Diamonds - 'Destination Paradise' (Genre: Hard Rock)
🇸🇪 Black Wound - 'Warping Structure' (Genre: War Metal)
🇦🇺 Blacnk - 'Sleeping Under Clouds of Gripping Anguish' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Blissful Stream - 'Fighting for the Cross' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇺🇸 Bloody Knives - 'Drowning in Light' (Genre: Shoegaze, Noise Pop)
🇺🇸 Bonnie McKee - 'Hot City' (Genre: Pop Rock, Electropop)
🇺🇸 Broken Head - 'The Morning Ends' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Buffalo Tom - 'Jump Rope' (Genre: Power Pop, Jangle Pop)
🇦🇹 Cadaverous Condition - 'Never Arrive, Never Return' (Genre: Death Metal, Neofolk)
🇺🇸 Camino Sound - 'Corridor' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇺🇸 Carnwennan - 'Lotus' (Genre: Stoner Doom)
🇦🇺 Celestial Burial - 'Hymns of Horror' (Genre: Death Metal, Deathcore)
🇺🇸 Cell Zero - 'The Color Drains Out' (Genre: Industrial Rock)
🇧🇪 Chve - 'Kalvaria' (Genre: Drone Metal)
🇦🇷 Clamor - 'Para No Olvidarte' (Genre: Emocore)
🇬🇧 Cloven Hoof - 'Heathen Cross' (Genre: Power Metal)
🇧🇪 Cobra the Implaer - 'Karma Collision' (Genre: Prog Metalcore)
🇺🇦 Cosmic Jaguar - 'El Era Del Jaguar' (Genre: Tech Thrash)
🇬🇧 Cowtown - 'Fear Of...' (Genre: Post-Punk, New Wave)
🇺🇸 Crahda - 'Existential Turmoil' (Genre: Crossover Thrash)
🇦🇺 Crowded House - 'Gravity Stairs' (Genre: Jangle Pop)
🇦🇺 Cutters - 'Psychic Injury' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇮🇹 Degenerated - 'Nuclear Test: Failed' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇸🇮 Dekadent - 'Dionyst' (Genre: Atmo Black Metal)
🇺🇸 d'Ercole - 'Near Death Experience' (Genre: Hard Rock, AOR)
🇺🇦 Діти Інженерів (Dity Inzheneriv) - 'Омг (Один Мільйон Гривень)' (Genre: Alt Rock, Pop Rock)
🇺🇸 Direct Threat - 'Endless Siege' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇳🇱 Drive by Wire - 'Time Horizon' (Genre: Stoner Rock)
🇨🇭 DRLCT - 'Médée' (Genre: Post-Rock)
🇨🇷 Dusk - 'Industrie' (Genre: Industrial Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Ebba Bergkvist & the Flat Tire Band - 'Four Wings' (Genre: Blues Rock)
🇦🇹 Ebony Archways - 'Misanthropia' (Genre: Gothic Metal)
🇨🇿 Ereley - 'Garden' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇫🇷 Eternal Hunt - 'An Era of Shame' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇫🇮 Euge Valovirta - 'Hardtones' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇪🇸 Exhumantion - 'Tributum Animarum Lapsus' (Genre: Funeral Doom)
🇳🇴 Feigd - 'Warrior's Path' (Genre: Viking Black Metal)
🇵🇪 Fervent Hate - 'In Rot We Trust' (Genre: Death N Roll)
🇳🇴 Fight the Fight - 'Shah of Time' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇺🇸 Four Stroke Baron - 'Data Diamond' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇬🇧 Gaffa Tape Sandy - 'Hold My Hand, God Damn It' (Genre: Garage Rock)
🇬🇧 Gaylord - 'Baseball Bats and Butterfly Knives' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇦 Gender Studies - 'Далекий Лиман' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇷🇺 General Fibrosis - 'Crossbread Generation' (Genre: Slam Death Metal)
🇬🇧 Gnod - 'Spot Land' (Genre: Noise Rock, Krautrock)
🇮🇹 Gorbag - 'Veins of Ice and Iron' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇫🇮 Grain of Pain - 'The Moon Lights the Way' (Genre: Death Doom)
🇨🇿 Gride - 'Vyzobat' (Genre: Grindcore)
🇵🇱 Gurthang - 'Martyrium' (Genre: Funeral Doom)
🇺🇸 Habibi - 'Dreamachine' (Genre: Garage Rock, Indie Surf)
🇫🇮 Hagalas - 'Mentes Reae' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇫🇮 Haunted Plasma - 'I' (Genre: Post-Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Hellbutcher - 'Hellbutcher' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 High Desert Queen - 'Palm Reader' (Genre: Stoner Doom)
🇺🇸 Highways - 'Never Die' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇩🇪 Hippie Trim - 'Morbid Orbit' (Genre: Post-Hardcore, Alt Rock)
🇸🇪 Hollow Ship - 'Animated Music' (Genre: Psych Rock)
🇸🇪 House by the Cemetary - 'The Mortuary Hauntings' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇫🇷 Hubble - 'Hubble' (Genre: Prog Post-Rock)
🇧🇪 Humanity Defiled - 'Deficient Breed' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇫🇮 Ian Highhill - 'Gallows' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇺🇸 Idaho - 'Lapse' (Genre: Dreampop, Slowcore)
🇺🇸 Idol Throne - 'A Clarion Call' (Genre: Power Thrash)
🇯🇵 Indication - 'Ataraxia of the Pheonix' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇫🇷 JackDupon - 'Toucan' (Genre: Avant Prog)
🇺🇸 Jesse Dayton - 'The Hard Way Blues' (Genre: Blues Rock, Alt Country)
🇬🇧 King Hannah - 'Big Swimmer' (Genre: Indie Rock, Alt Rock)
🇯🇵 KOTORI - 'KOTORI' (Genre: J-Rock)
🇩🇪 Krater - 'Phrenesis' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Kurupi - 'No Esperes' (Genre: Punk Rock, Rap)
🇮🇹 Laetitia in Holocaust - 'Fanciulli d'Occidente' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇳🇴 Laughing Stock - 'Shelter' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇹🇼 Lesbian Tribbing Squirt - 'Squirt Development Clinic Princesses' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal, Goregrind)
🇬🇧 Lock Horns - 'Red Room' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇳🇿 Look to Windward - 'The Last Scattering Surface' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇵🇹 Louvado Abismo - 'Louvado Abismo' (Genre: Post-Punk, Gothic Rock)
🇺🇸 Lowlives - 'Freaking Out' (Genre: Post-Grunge, Alt Metal)
🇩🇪 Lucy Kruger & the Lost Boys - 'A Human Home' (Genre: Alt Pop, Art Rock)
🇯🇵 内田真礼 (Maaya Uchida) - 'Tokyo-Byakuya' (Genre: J-Pop, J-Rock)
🇪🇸 Malkeda - 'Malkeda' (Genre: Nu Metal)
🇬🇧 Matthew and the Atlas - 'Many Times' (Genre: Indie Folk, Neo Psychedelia)
🇬🇧 Marjana Semkina - 'Sirin' (Genre: Prog Rock, Chamber Pop)
🇺🇸 Maya Hawke - 'Chaos Angel' (Genre: Pop Rock, Singer-Songwriter)
🇩🇪 Mediokrist - 'mXm' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇺🇸 Mest - 'Youth' (Genre: Pop Punk, Emo Pop)
🇯🇵 Miasma Death - '沈 Reflection in the Dark Water' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Mile - 'A Shattered Mind' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇺🇸 Missing - 'Nocturnalia' (Genre: Darkwave, Gothic Rock)
🇩🇪 Monstrous Death - 'Nightmares' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇦🇺 Mortuary Sickness - 'What Lies Beyond...' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇧🇪 My Diligence - 'Death.Horses.Black.' (Genre: Stoner Metal, Stoner Rock)
🇸🇪 Nekrodawn - 'Sculpted by Torture' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇫🇮 Nemus Anima - 'The God of Forest' (Genre: Melodic Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Nestor - 'Teenage Rebel' (Genre: Hard Rock)
🇺🇸 Neutrals - 'New Town Dream' (Genre: Indie Pop, Post-Punk)
🇦🇺 New Thieves - 'New Thieves' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇮🇹 Night Pleasure Hotel - 'Portraits' (Genre: AOR)
🇬🇷 Nightrage - 'Remains of a Dead World' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇨🇭 Nihilo - 'Made of Lies' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇦🇺 No Future - 'Mirror' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇮🇪 Oh Boland - 'Western Leisure' (Genre: Pop Punk)
🇮🇹 Origod - 'Impression' (Genre: Post-Hardcore, Alt Metal)
🇬🇧 Outblinker - 'Outblinker' (Genre: Post-Rock)
🇺🇸 Pale Misery - 'Black Starless Sky' (Genre: Sludge Metal)
🇺🇸 Parfaxitas - 'Weaver of the Black Moon' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇦🇺 Peter Bibby - 'Drama King' (Genre: Glam Rock)
🇺🇸 Polkadot - '...To Be Crushed' (Genre: Twee Pop, Post-Rock)
🇫🇮 Post Pulse - 'Return to the Halls' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇸🇪 Priest - 'Dark Pulse' (Genre: Synthpop)
🇮🇩 Proceus - 'The Unearthly Funeral Chant' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Psychic Temple - 'Doggie Paddlin' Thru the Cosmic Consciousness' (Genre: Jazz Fusion, Pop Rock)
🇺🇸 Rad Owl - 'Rage Gracefully' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇺🇸 Raised on TV - 'Make Time to Make Time' (Genre: Indie Punk)
🇦🇺 Reliqa - 'Secrets of the Future' (Genre: Prog Alt Metal)
🇮🇹 Rhapsody of Fire - 'Challenge the Wind' (Genre: Symphonic Power Metal)
🇬🇧 Richard Thompson - 'Ship to Shore' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇺🇸 Riley Burke - 'Reconfiguration' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇨🇦 Ruby Waters - 'What's the Point' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇩🇪 Saltatio Mortis - 'Finsterwacht' (Genre: Folk Metal)
🇨🇦 Sam Jr - 'Inner Shadoq' (Genre: Psych Rock)
🇺🇸 Sammy Kershaw - 'Cross Road Blues' (Genre: Country, Blues)
🇺🇸 Saving Vice - 'Good Days, Dead Eyes' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇺🇸 Semuta - 'Glacial Erratic' (Genre: Sludge Post-Metal)
🇯🇵 椎名林檎 (Sheena Ringo) - '放生会 (Hōjōya)' (Genre: Art Pop, J-Rock)
🇺🇸 Shit and Shine - 'Rum and Coke' (Genre: Noise Rock, Experimental Rock)
🇬🇧 Shrapnel - 'In Gravity' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇨🇦 SIG:AR:TYR - 'Citadel of Stars' (Genre: Black Folk Metal)
🇵🇱 Silent Scream - 'Side Effects for Two' (Genre: Deathrock, Post-Punk)
🇺🇸 Slim Cessna's Auto Club - 'Kinnerny of Lupercalia: Buell Legion' (Genre: Alt Country)
🇬🇧 Spatulas - 'Beehive Mind' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇮🇹 Stormcrow - 'Path to Ascension' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇩🇪 Suffering Souls - 'An Iconic Taste of Demise' (Genre: Symphonic Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Super American - 'Gangster of Love' (Genre: Pop Punk)
🇨🇦 Supermodel Taxidermy - 'At What Cost' (Genre: Crossover Thrash)
🇺🇸 Swampbeast - 'Offering of Chaos, Lamenting in the Blood of Man' (Genre: Black Death)
🇫🇷 Tacoblaster - 'Royal Color' (Genre: Indie Rock, Garage Rock)
🇩🇪 The Antikaroshi - 'l'Inertie Polaire' (Genre: Post-Punk, Krautrock)
🇳🇱 The Boxx Orchestra - 'The Horn of Plenty' (Genre: Symphonic Prog)
🇦🇺 The Cold Field - 'Alive' (Genre: Post-Punk)
🇨🇭 The Company of Men - 'A Big Old Fire' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇮🇹 The Gluts - 'Bang!' (Genre: Noise Rock, Psych Rock)
🇦🇺 The Hope Conspiracy - 'Tools of Oppression/Rule by Deception' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇬🇧 The Human Condition - 'Foundations' (Genre: Prog Doom Metal)
🇮🇹 The Ikan Method - 'Perfect Tyranny' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇺🇸 The Marías - 'Submarine' (Genre: Indie Pop)
🇧🇷 The Troops of Doom - 'A Mass to the Grotesque' (Genre: Death Thrash)
🇯🇵 The Wisely Brothers - 'On the Eve (その前夜)' (Genre: Indie Pop)
🇺🇸 The Woggles - 'Time Has Come' (Genre: Garage Rock)
🇺🇸 Thou - 'Umbilical' (Genre: Sludge Doonm)
🇺🇸 Trapt - 'The Fall' (Genre: Post-Grunge, Alt Metal)
🇬🇷 Trvy & the Enemy - 'Choose Your Enemy' (Genre: Hip-Hop, Psych Rock)
🇩🇪 Tsatthoggua - 'We Are God' (Genre: Black Thrash)
🇩🇰 Tyrants & Kings - 'Sketches for a Requiem' (Genre: Heavy Metal, Hard Rock)
🇯🇵 Unlucky Orpheus - 'What Is Death?' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇳🇴 Whoredom Rife - 'Den Vrede Makt' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Varices - 'The Undoing' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇪🇸 Vetusta Morla - 'Figurantes' (Genre: Indie Rock, Indie Pop)
🇮🇹 Vicolo Inferno - 'Circles' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇬🇧 Vios - 'SlaveForm' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇫🇮 VK3312 - 'Horrorskooppi' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇺🇸 Watershed - 'Blow It Up Before It Breaks' (Genre: Power Pop, Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Willie Nelson - 'The Border' (Genre: Country)
🇺🇸 Witherfall - 'Sounds of the Forgotten' (Genre: Prog Power Metal)
🇸🇪 Wormwood - 'The Star' (Genre: Melodic Black Metal)
🇸🇪 Young Acid - 'Merder at Maple Mountain' (Genre: Garage Rock)
🇪🇸 Zenobia - 'Melodías Encantadas' (Genre: Power Metal)
🇨🇳 毁灭救赎 - 'De​-​Crowned / 被​廢​的​冠​冕' (Genre: Black Metal)
New EPs:
🇨🇱 Abreaktion - 'Bornhatred' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇺🇸 A Dying Soul - 'Relief Dimension' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇮🇹 Antisexy - 'La Morte Non È Male Poi Rinasci' (Genre: Powerviolence)
🇺🇸 Aseitas - 'Eden Trough' (Genre: Experimental Death Metal)
🇺🇸 Astral Wake - 'Elysium' (Genre: Deathcore)
🇩🇪 Atomwinter - 'Atomic Metal' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇸🇪 Bite Down - 'Decolorized' (Genre: Nu Metalcore)
🇪🇸 Blackhearth - 'Feast of the Savages' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇪🇸 Bonecarver - 'Unholy Dissolution' (Genre: Symphonic Deathcore)
🇺🇸 Carrion Throne - 'The Feast of Human Vices' (Genre: Death Doom)
🇬🇧 Congenital Abnormalities - 'A Resurgence of the Grotesque' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal)
🇯🇵 David - 'Harness' (Genre: Power Metal)
🇺🇸 Dead7 - 'All Time Does Is Pass and All I Do Is Remember' (Genre: Nu Metalcore)
🇸🇪 De Arma - 'Synthwave Sessions, Vol. 2' (Genre: Darkwave, Post-Rock)
🇳🇴 Deathcult - 'Seven Are They' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇬🇧 Desolance - 'Modern Mightmare' (Genre: Metalcore, Groove Metal)
🇨🇳 毁灭救赎 (Destroy the Redemption) - '被廢的冠冕 (De-Crowned)' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇸🇦 Dune - 'Years of Chains' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇺🇸 Dysphorectomy - 'Dysphorectomy' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal)
🇬🇧 Eat Your Own Head - 'The Trawler' (Genre: Math Rock)
🇺🇸 Eisen Geist - 'Hallowed Ground' (Genre: Black Thrash)
🇺🇸 Eld Fen - 'O' Great Wurm' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇬🇧 Enquire Within - 'Elysium' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇸🇪 Envig - 'Eskatos' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇺🇸 Foreach () Loop - 'I Want You to Know This' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇦🇺 Garage Sale - 'Stars Fall 2' (Genre: Shoegaze)
🇬🇧 Graywave - 'Dancing in the Dust' (Genre: Shoegaze, Dreampop)
🇨🇦 Greta and the Goldfish - 'Harbour Graceless' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇯🇵 Hagane - 'Life Goes On!' (Genre: Power Metal)
🇭🇺 Hajnalpír - 'Hajnalpír - II' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Halcyon Way - 'Night Crawling' (Genre: Prog Metal)
🇺🇸 Half Waif - 'Ephemeral Being' (Genre: Art Pop, Synthpop)
🇰🇷 한로로 (HANRORO) - '집' (Genre: Indie Rock, Indie Pop)
🇳🇴 Heimland - 'Trobearvingens Doed' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇩🇪 Heksegrav - 'Svart Portal' (Genre: Sludge Doom)
🇸🇪 Hild - 'The Slayeress' (Genre: Black Thrash)
🇬🇧 HRTLSS - 'Blood Moon' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇯🇵 中嶋イッキュウ (Ikkyu Nakajima) - 'Dead' (Genre: J-Pop, J-Rock)
🇩🇪 Impact - 'Twisted Diamonds' (Genre: Heavy Metal, Hard Rock)
🇫🇷 Mansion's Cellar - 'Faces Sag Like Melted Wax' (Genre: Psych Rock)
🇨🇦 Napoleon - 'Dear God' (Genre: Alt Punk, Post-Hardcore)
🇩🇪 New Hate Rising - 'As One' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇦🇹 Perfect Sky - 'Hunting Demons' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇸🇪 R.A.T.S. - 'Actions Have Reactions' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇺🇸 Redwood - 'Dry Rivers' (Genre: Stoner Rock)
🇪🇸 Repion - 'Entre Todas Lo Arreglamos' (Genre: Alt Rock, Power Pop)
🇺🇸 Roseneath - 'Better Days' (Genre: Shoegaze)
🇨🇦 Rötual - 'Wörms' (Genre: Death Doom)
🇺🇸 RoxNoAnne - '3 Song EP' (Genre: Slacker Rock, Noise Rock)
🇩🇪 Ruins of Perception - 'Ballads Ov Blood' (Genre: Deathcore)
🇺🇸 Sammy SlamDance - 'Summer of Slam' (Genre: Deathcore)
🇺🇸 Sludgedown - 'Limbo' (Genre: Prog Rock, Post-Hardcore)
🇺🇸 Sons of Gulliver - 'Sons of Gulliver' (Genre: Stoner Rock)
🇩🇪 Tankobot - 'Nightshift' (Genre: Thrash Metal)
🇸🇮 Ueldes - 'The Veil of Mountains' (Genre: Atmo Black Metal)
🇺🇦 Windswept - 'Der Eine, Wahre König' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇬🇧 World News - 'Escape' (Genre: Jangle Pop)
🇬🇧 Zero One - 'Faults in My Design' (Genre: Prog Metalcore, Post-Hardcore)
5 down, 7 to go. Can you believe we're almost half way done with 2024?!? Get your new rock/metal/punk and more fixes right here and see what will end up on your album of the year list!
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This is going to be a loooong one, but I came across some similarities between But Daddy, I Love Him, Fresh Out the Slammer, and Florida!!! that I think connects them as a three-act story of her being forced into the closet (slammer), serving her time, and finding freedom.
But Daddy, I Love Him is Act I. Acts II & III are coming, but this took me forever, so it might be a min.
BDILH can be read as a play within a play. This is where she starts her time in the slammer (slammed the door on my whole world), but she’s not going without a fight. Her journey begins with her rebelling against what is forced on her by becoming a caricature and cliche of what she is told she has to be. The “dad running the guy off with a shotgun” trope is the perfect way for her to describe what’s actually happened to her (she’s told she can’t love this person) while still playing the boy-obsessed pop star. The first and second choruses of the song are essentially her self-written script for the performance she’s playing within the larger story that she's telling us.
^{(side note because it deals with being jailed: from her NYU commencement speech: "So I became a young adult while being fed the message that if I didn't make any mistakes, all the children of America would grow up to be perfect angels. However, if I did slip up, the entire earth would fall off its axis and it would be entirely my fault and I would go to pop star jail forever and ever. It was all centered around the idea that mistakes equal failure and ultimately, the loss of any chance at a happy or rewarding life." She ended up in pop star jail anyway.})
^{(side note #2: Hamlet is a play within a play and is referenced twice in this song})
The juxtaposition of criticizing patriarchal structures (which Sarahs and Hannahs can uphold and enforce just as well as men can) while also playing into them is too obvious to be anything but satire. At the end of BDILH, she decides to confront those who put her in the slammer which leads to her breaking free, essentially.
We've ended the play within the play and moved on to Act II. The next song is FOTS which opens with “Now pretty baby, I’m running back home to you”; running to someone being a theme in both songs. Now that she’s broken out of the slammer and done her time, she’s running back to something/someone. Without these two songs being a continuation of one another as part of a larger story, they’re essentially pretty repetitive and telling the same story.
The first thing that stood out as a possible connection between the two songs was the intro to FOTS. It reminded me of the western whistle that is typically played in western films during a duel between cowboys. It sounds like a very low and slowed-down version of that (idk shit about music, so if there's a reference I'm missing please let me know. Either way, it reminded me of music from Western films). It seemed like an intentional callback since BDILH starts with “I forget how the west was won” and the theme of running to someone. The western sound at the beginning of the song could also be implying that she’s an “outlaw” (From Hits Different: I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost / Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw / Freedom felt like summer then on the coast) and “running back home to you” could imply she’s running from the law. Act III is Florida!!! which is one of the songs on the album that I understand the least, but the themes are there. It opens with “You can beat the heat, if you beat the charges too” which is a continuation of the “jailed/freedom” narrative of the last two songs. It’s an immediate callback to the previous song given that “the heat” often refers to the police. If I could guess, I think Florida!!! might be about her continuing to reflect on her choices to run from herself and “pack her life away”. I just can't quite figure out what Florida is symbolizing.
Here are some lyrical breakdowns from BDILH that led me to this conclusion and/or are relevant
I forget how the West was won
I am no history buff, so please forgive me if I get this all wrong. But one of the main goals of Westward expansion in the US was a promise of fortune (gold rush). How the West Was Won is a movie that took place in the 1830s and if the West is fame, fortune, and success, based on this line and "I Hate it Here" (We would pick a decade We wished we could live in instead of this I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid) I think she is trying to remember what she’s been fighting for all this time and if she could go back and start over again, she would
I also read that another reason for the Westward expansion was the opportunity to work in the cattle industry; to be a “cowboy”. So maybe being a “Cowboy Like Me” is another necessity of ‘winning the West’.
I think there is a further connection to "Gold Rush", but I haven’t figured out what that connection is yet.
I forget if this was ever fun
Here, "this" is referring to what she has had to do to “win the West”. It’s a continuance of her contemplating whether the path she took was worth it. She’s tired and can’t remember if she ever enjoyed this life.
I just learned these people only raise you to cage you
Using "just" here implies, to me, that this is the biggest lesson she’s learned from the choices she’s made and the path she’s taken. The people she trusted the most to help her “win the West” betrayed her and caged her. More mention of betrayal later.
Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best
This is a pretty clear reference to Christianity, specifically Southern Evangelical Christianity. The expression “Sunday best” alludes to reserving one’s finest clothes for going to church.
Clutching their pearls, sighing "What a mess"
To “clutch your pearls” is to act more shocked than you really feel to show that you think something is morally bad. Similar to “protesting too much”
I just learned these people try and save you
... cause they hate you
The “savior complex’ is very apparent in Christianity. Being a “savior” puts you on higher moral ground than the person you’re trying to save. People who have a savior complex are often more interested in fixing others than in loving them for who they are.
These two lines are essentially just another way to say “Love the sinner. Hate the sin”. This phrase is almost exclusively used against queer people.
Too high a horse
If you are on a high horse, you acting as if you think you are better than other people or that you know more than other people do. Someone who is on a high horse may “clutch their pearls” or "try to save you".
For a simple girl to rise above it
To rise above something is to not allow yourself to be hurt or controlled by something. In this instance, it’s the high horse mentioned above. She was too young and naive to rise above the judgment placed on her. (Reminds me of ‘too impaired by my youth to know what to do” in CoSoSoM)
**They slammed the door on my whole world
The one thing I wanted**
The first mention of the slammer. This was the event that started it all. She is a simple girl who is being controlled by those on high horses trying to convince her they know what’s best.
Chorus
**Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned
Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"**
These lines are the epitome of "boy crazy" which we know was her "image" or "reputation" at the beginning of her career and even now for some people. “Now” implies, to me, that there was a cause and effect. I think rather than fighting against those on the high horse, she is retaliating. She is overcompensating and becoming a caricature of what they want from her. She is essentially mocking them.
**I'm having his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces**
The mocking is reiterated here. She makes a conscious choice to break the fourth wall a bit and show you she’s messing with you.
Taylor Nation also posted a tweet a few weeks ago where they wrote the baby line as "I'm HAvInG hIs BAbY" which is clearly them mocking the line or the people who are reading it seriously.
**I'm telling him to floor it through the fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want**
I don’t think these lines are particularly important. They’re just adding to the role she’s playing.
The first and second choruses are essentially the self-written script she’s made to play the role they want her to play.
Verse
Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid
If you say someone is dutiful, they do everything they are expected to do.
Tendrils tucked into a woven braid
All of her messiness was tucked away to make her more palatable and acceptable.
Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all
Ok, this might go off the rails a bit but hold on. Looking up the specifics of being a precocious child led me to “The Queer Child, or Growing Sideways in the Twentieth Century”. The author of the book introduced the term “growing sideways” to describe ways of growing that defy the usual sense of growing “up” in a linear trajectory toward marriage, reproduction, and the relinquishing of childhood. Growing sideways is irregular growth involving odd lingerings and wayward paths. In other words, not growing up. Reminds me of the line “But now we'll curtail your curiosity" from Robin. The book uses different films and books to explore childhood queerness and quotes the works of Henry James, Radclyffe Hall, Virginia Woolf, Djuna Barnes, and Vladimir Nabokov to the movies Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, The Hanging Garden (now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon), Heavenly Creatures, Hoop Dreams, and the 2005 remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I can not vouch for this book, the author's assertions, or beliefs, because I haven’t read it, but I wanted to include it because I think it’s too similar to the lyrics.
(Side note #3: Plot of the Hanging Garden: Sweet William, a gay man named after the flower of the same name, had a difficult growing-up period in rural Nova Scotia with his alcoholic father, Whiskey Mac, nurturing their garden more than he nurtured the family which included forcing William to memorize the common names of plants and when they bloomed with the consequences for not doing so often being beaten, with his mother Iris trying to deny his homosexual orientation with a specific act, and with his devoutly Catholic paternal grandmother, who he calls Nana and he loves dearly, also reacting strongly against discovering his homosexual orientation. That family dysfunction was arguably the reason for William's obesity during his teenage years in not much liking himself. Since moving to the city ten years ago, William has flourished in life, including being in a loving same-sex relationship and no longer being overweight. Somewhat to his family's surprise, William returns home for the first time since moving away for his younger sister Rosemary's wedding to her and William's childhood friend, Fletcher. Beyond everyone now being ten years older including William, Rosemary and Fletcher's transitions into adulthood, not much has changed within the family dynamic except for Nana now suffering from dementia, and William meeting his precocious and tomboyish adolescent sister Violet for the first time, she who was born after he left for the city. Despite being a different person than he was ten years ago, William will have to reconcile his life back to his time growing up at the family home, especially the continual visions he and others have of something hanging in the garden that was there ten years ago. His family, including Fletcher, will also have to do the same to be able to move on successfully with their individual lives.)
He was chaos, he was revelry
So I think this line is either referring to her queer self or potentially a romantic partnership that she was pressured into that was supposed to be a distraction or a “remedy” as mentioned in the next line
This could also be referring to the fictional “him” that she created in BDILH. Revelry means merrymaking, but also implies rebellion.
Bedroom eyes like a remedy
A remedy is a medicine or treatment for a disease or injury or to fix an undesirable situation. Is this the consolation prize given to her by the people trying to save her?
Soon enough the elders had convened
Ok, another slight derailment. When I first heard this line, it immediately reminded me of “The Giver” which is about a society with citizens who have no memories of its past and are not allowed to make their own decisions. They are not given freedom or choice. Without choice, the Elders believe they can prevent negative events or situations. The Elders make all the decisions about matters concerning the community. They observe children to give them their appropriate Assignments. They also observe citizens to match them with appropriate spouses and assign them children. The community in ‘The Giver’ is void of all color and is depicted in grayscale.
(Side Note: Taylor played Rosemary in "The Giver". Rosemary was training to become the next Receiver of Memories, but she chose death over living a lonely and isolated life filled with painful memories.)
Down at the city hall
I wasn’t sure what the significance of the “city hall” was but it could potentially be referencing the Music City Center and the Country Music Hall of Fame, which are both located in Nashville, where her career began. These could just be representative of the decision-makers in the music industry.
**"Stay away from her"
The saboteurs protested too much**
Saboteurs are the ones who raised her and caged her.
Saboteurs practice sabotage and deliberately try to subvert or limit the full exercise of something.
Reference to Hamlet: Hamlet's mother replies, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks", meaning that the Player Queen's protestations of love and fidelity are too excessive to be believed. Pearl clutching Sarahs and Hannahs also protest too much.
Today, the phrase is used in everyday speech to indicate doubt of someone's sincerity, especially regarding the truth of a strong denial or to imply that someone who denies something very strongly is hiding the truth of it
So now we know that the saboteurs, the Sarahs and Hannahs, and the people who raise you to cage you are all the same people. This will be relevant later.
Lord knows the words we never heard
Just screeching tires and true love
Potential connection to Getaway Car or The Bolter or just more imagery. I'm not sure.
Chorus
**And now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned
Screaming "But Daddy I love him!"
I'm having his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
I'm telling him to floor it through the fences
No, I'm not coming to my senses
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want**
Chorus
This is the turning point in the song where she decides to confront those who force her to be dutiful and slam the door on her whole world even if it means ruining her good name.
**I'll tell you something right now
I'd rather burn my whole life down
Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning
I'll tell you something about my good name
It's mine alone to disgrace
I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing**
I think this is pretty self-explanatory and I don't have much to add except to the last line
A viper is a snake that poisons others by biting them with hollow fangs that inject venom. Vipers are often used to describe spiteful, disloyal, or back-stabbing people. These are the saboteurs, but they’re dressed in their Sunday best.
If the vipers, the elders/saboteurs, the Sarahs and Hannahs, etc. are all the same people, she’s saying she won’t do what they’re telling her to do. The one clear demand that is mentioned is “stay away from her”. If she chooses to not cater to them, I think we could read this as she was told to stay away from someone else. This is written ambiguously so some people will read it as the Elders telling someone to stay away from her.
Bridge
God save the most judgmental creeps
I thought the use of the word “creep” here was weird because it’s typically used to describe weird dudes who won’t leave you alone, but one of the definitions of “to creep” is to move along with the body close to the ground, similar to how snakes move. I think this is just another clever way to tie all of these characters together.
**Who says they want what's best for me
Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see**
This line was hard for me to decipher. A soliloquy is typically the act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers, especially by a character in a play, and can often be an opportunity for a playwright to clarify aspects of the character or plot to the audience, either directly or indirectly. So maybe the vipers/creeps/Sarahs, etc. are also a part of the play and they’re communicating what we should believe about the character in some way.
Hamlet’s to be or not to be (to live or not to live) is one of the most famous soliloquies.
**Thinking it can change the beat
Of my heart when he touches me**
I think this should be read as “they think if he touches me, it will change the beat of my heart” instead of “their soliloquies will change the beat of my heart that is caused by him touching me” because she won’t see or hear the soliloquies so how could they change anything? He is supposed to be the remedy with bedroom eyes.
And counteract the chemistry
counteracting something is to act against it to reduce its force or neutralize it
**And undo the destiny
You ain't gotta pray for me
Me and my wild boy
And all this wild joy
If all you want is gray for me**
The judgemental creeps say they want what’s best for her which she is telling us is “gray”. The mention of gray takes us back to “The Giver” where the Elders get to decide who you love.
Then it's just white noise
White noise is defined as a "heterogeneous mixture of sound waves extending over a wide frequency range that has been used to mask out unwanted noise"
I had to look up the definition of heterogenous, but it means “different in kind, unlike, or incongruous.”
So the gray that they want for her is incongruent, or incompatible, with her but is supposed to mask out some unwanted noise.
And it's just my choice
I truly don’t know what she means by this, but maybe she’s saying if they’re putting limitations on her, she gets to decide how to work within those limitations.
Verse
**There's a lot of people in town that I
Bestow upon my fakest smiles**
If her boy-crazy character is a performance then she’s showing a fake happy version of herself.
Scandal does funny things to pride
Having someone catch you with a dude with your dress unbuttoned and them running him off is scandalous. The scandal is "performance" Taylor screaming “But daddy, I love him!” which is her way of retaliating because she was forced to hide her pride. She’s being facetious and fucking with people by creating a boy-crazy scandal. The phrase “the funny thing is” is used to introduce something unexpected or ironic that provides humor to a situation. I think she is literally calling out the irony of her writing in a way that convinces people she’s boy-crazy when she’s writing about being queer.
But brings lovers closer
The more you try to keep us apart, the closer we become
We came back when the heat died down
The phrase “the heat dies down” is often used in detective or crime stories to describe when someone hides out until the heat subsides, allowing them to move around without fear of being caught. To put the heat on someone often refers to trying to persuade or force them to do something.
**Went to my parents and they came around
All the wine moms are still holding out**
If you’re holding out for something, you refuse to accept something that you do not think is good enough and you continue to demand more.
But fuck 'em, it's over
If the two who were supposedly forced apart are now back together, what’s over? If the "wine moms" are holding out for her to leave this person they think isn’t good enough for her, but she’s saying it’s over, why would they still be holding out? Unless they’re holding out for her to find her prince charming, but she's telling them she's looking for something else.
**Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and
Even my daddy just loves him
I'm his lady, and oh my God
You should see your faces
Time, doesn't it give some perspective**
This reminded me of the lyrics to Peter: ‘As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return, With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you've learned 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned'
Masquerade means to be disguised or passed off as something else
She could also be saying “in time, you'll be able to see it for what it is” to the same people she’s telling they can’t come to the wedding.
**No, you can't come to the wedding
I know he's crazy but he's the one I want**
Ending it here cause the rest is just outro
I hope this made sense and I'd love to hear other people's thoughts if you were able to make it to the end lol Also, I hope including the definitions of some words doesn't seem patronizing. The literal definitions of words help me with context a lot so that's why I've included them.

President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris campaigned today in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They spoke at Girard College, a school where Black Americans make up most of the student body, where they emphasized the importance of Black voters to the Democratic coalition and the ways in which the administration’s actions have delivered on its promises to the Black community.
“Because Black Americans voted, Kamala and I are President and Vice President of the United States,” Biden said. “That’s not hyperbole. Because you voted, Donald Trump is a defeated former president.”
Harris noted that Black Americans are 60% more likely than white Americans to be diagnosed with diabetes, and called out the administration’s capping of insulin at $35 a month, along with the provisions of the Inflation Reduction Act that permit Medicare to negotiate with pharmaceutical companies. She called out the administration’s relief of more than $165 billion in student loan debt for more than 5 million Americans, as well as the first major bipartisan gun safety law in 30 years.
What has guided them, Harris said to applause, is the “fundamental belief” that “[w]e work for you, the American people, not the special interests, not the billionaires or the big corporations, but the people.”
She contrasted their record with that of former president Trump, who tried to get rid of the Affordable Care Act that puts healthcare within reach for millions of Black Americans, proposed cuts to Social Security and Medicare, and handpicked Supreme Court justices who would overturn Roe v. Wade. “And as he intended, they did,” she said. “[T]oday, one in three women and more than half of Black women of reproductive age live in a state with an abortion ban.”
Then Biden took the stage to chants of “Four more years!” He added to Harris’s list of ways in which the administration has worked for racial equality: reconnecting the Black and brown and poor neighborhoods that were cut apart by highways in the 1960s and addressing the decades of disinvestment that happened as a consequence of the carving up of those neighborhoods (this cutting apart of neighborhoods is a really big deal in urban history, by the way); getting rid of the lead pipes that still contaminate water, especially in minority neighborhoods; making high-speed internet widely available and affordable; investing in historically Black colleges and universities; appointing more Black women to federal circuit courts than all other U.S. presidents combined.
Under the Biden administration, he noted, Black unemployment is at a record low and Black small businesses are starting at the fastest rate in 30 years. The wealth gap between Black Americans and white Americans is the lowest it’s been in 20 years. “We’re opening more doors for economic opportunity, including access to capital, entrepreneurship, workforce training so you can build a life of financial freedom and create generational wealth...all while being the providers and leaders of your families and community,” the president said.
Biden drew a contrast between his administration and Trump, saying, “I’ve shown you who I am, and Trump has shown you who he is. And today, Donald Trump is pandering and peddling lies and stereotypes for your votes so he can win for himself, not for you.” “[W]e’re not going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place that doesn’t believe in honesty, decency, and treating people with respect,” he said, “and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place filled with anger and resentment and hate.”
According to Myah Ward and Brakkton Booker of Politico, this was Biden’s fifth trip to the Philadelphia area and his seventh to Pennsylvania this year. As he tries to win the state in 2024, the campaign has opened 24 field offices and outspent Trump there by a ratio of more than 4 to 1.
Harris and Biden’s appearance in Philadelphia looked pretty much like a normal day in a normal presidential campaign season.
The same was not true of the presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who was in a courtroom in Manhattan as Judge Juan Merchan instructed the jury in the criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels, to stop her account of their sexual encounter from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election.
Legal analyst Joyce White Vance explained that to find Trump guilty, “[t]he jury must find unanimously that Trump created fraudulent business records and that he did it with the intent to influence an election through unlawful means.”
Trump and his supporters immediately took to the media to misrepresent the court system. Trump appeared to sleep through the jury instructions but later posted on social media: “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHARGES ARE IN THIS RIGGED CASE…. THERE IS NO CRIME.” (He had told the judge on April 4, 2023, that he understood the charges against him.) Trump insisted that he had been railroaded by the fact that “a lot of key witnesses were not called,” although his own defense did not call them and he declined to testify himself. He called the judge “conflicted” and “corrupt,” and said “Mother Teresa could not beat these charges,” a reference to the Albanian-Indian Catholic nun canonized by the Catholic Church in 2016.
Fox News host John Roberts misrepresented the judge’s instructions, launching a wave of fury on right-wing media stations and prompting Florida senator Marco Rubio to write: “This is exactly the kind of sham trial used against political opponents of the regime in the old Soviet Union.” Utah senator Mike Lee chimed in with his own attacks on Judge Merchan. Roberts later corrected his tweet, but it was too late to change the narrative.
Tonight, those two themes reappeared again and again on social media in both Trump’s feed and those of his supporters. Their frenzy suggested they are concerned about the jury’s verdict. Newsmax host Todd Starnes tweeted: “President Trump needs to get out of New York City RIGHT NOW! Fly back to Mar-a-Lago or another state that will provide him safe harbor.”
Indeed, it seems we are seeing the fear of accountability that has been missing from the top levels of American politics since President Gerald Ford pardoned President Richard M. Nixon in 1974. While Ford believed Nixon’s accepting the pardon was an admission of guilt for his participation in the coverup of the break-in at the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in the Watergate Hotel before the 1972 election and anything else he might have done, Nixon never admitted such guilt.
In the fifty years since then, certain powerful people seem to have concluded that they cannot be held accountable to laws or rules. The MAGA Republicans are illustrating that disrespect for the rule of law on a daily basis as they work to undermine the courts and the Department of Justice.
Yesterday, Jodi Kantor of the New York Times reported that Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s story that his wife flew the upside down flag of distress favored by the January 6th rioters as a response to a hostile neighbor did not line up with accounts given by neighbors and a police report.
Because of that distress flag, as well as the “Appeal to Heaven” flag that flew over his beach house, Alito is under increasing pressure to recuse himself from considering cases related to the events of January 6, including whether Trump is immune from prosecution for his actions surrounding the attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election. Today Alito refused to recuse himself, blaming his wife for flying the flags—“My wife is fond of flying flags. I am not,” he wrote—and suggesting that anyone who thinks he should recuse himself is “motivated by political or ideological considerations.”
And in what should almost certainly be read as trolling those who disagree with him, Alito, the author of the 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision taking away from American women the right to make their own decisions about their healthcare, wrote: “[M]y wife is an independently minded private citizen. She makes her own decisions, and I honor her right to do so.”
Trump promptly congratulated Alito “for showing the INTELLIGENCE, COURAGE, and ‘GUTS’ to refuse stepping aside from making a decision on anything January 6th related.”
MAGA attacks on the rule of law affect real people’s lives. Ryan J. Reilly of NBC News reported today that after former Washington, D.C., Metropolitan Police officer Michael Fanone called Trump “authoritarian” with a “violence fetish” in front of the Manhattan courthouse yesterday, Fanone’s 78-year-old mother was swatted, with officers showing up at her home after reports of a murder there. Fanone protected the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, and went into cardiac arrest after a rioter assaulted him with a stun gun. “This is the reality of going up against or challenging Donald Trump…. These swatting calls are incredibly f---ing dangerous, especially when the target is somebody like my mom.”
—
Notes:
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/mother-jan-6-officer-michael-fanone-swatted-called-trump-authoritarian-rcna154467
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/29/remarks-by-president-biden-and-vice-president-harris-at-a-campaign-event-philadelphia-pa/
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/29/pennsylvania-2024-biden-trump-00160511
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/us/justice-alito-neighbors-stop-steal-flag.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/documents/ae3feb5a-13a4-4f0f-9046-b61a530c40fb.pdf
Civil Discourse with Joyce VanceInstructing a JuryI warned you that this part would be excruciating. The Judge instructed the jury this morning, and they’ve got the case. Their first day of deliberating is finished. They’ve got questions. They’ll return tomorrow for more. This will continue until they either reach a verdict or advise the court that they are hopelessly deadlocked. We are nowhere close t…Read more15 hours ago · 1025 likes · 168 comments · Joyce Vance
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atrupastatus/1795885918093500699
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Acyn/status/1795931517539283004
ProjectLincoln/status/1795863897594904795
johnrobertsFox/status/1795830647719932058
marcorubio/status/1795851071010611529
molcranenewman/status/1795840559653015721
https://x.com/BradMossEsq/status/1795845341402833311
https://x.com/Acyn/status/1795843818061000716
https://x.com/BasedMikeLee/status/1795966214625190351
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-29-2024

President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris campaigned today in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They spoke at Girard College, a school where Black Americans make up most of the student body, where they emphasized the importance of Black voters to the Democratic coalition and the ways in which the administration’s actions have delivered on its promises to the Black community.
“Because Black Americans voted, Kamala and I are President and Vice President of the United States,” Biden said. “That’s not hyperbole. Because you voted, Donald Trump is a defeated former president.”
Harris noted that Black Americans are 60% more likely than white Americans to be diagnosed with diabetes, and called out the administration’s capping of insulin at $35 a month, along with the provisions of the Inflation Reduction Act that permit Medicare to negotiate with pharmaceutical companies. She called out the administration’s relief of more than $165 billion in student loan debt for more than 5 million Americans, as well as the first major bipartisan gun safety law in 30 years.
What has guided them, Harris said to applause, is the “fundamental belief” that “[w]e work for you, the American people, not the special interests, not the billionaires or the big corporations, but the people.”
She contrasted their record with that of former president Trump, who tried to get rid of the Affordable Care Act that puts healthcare within reach for millions of Black Americans, proposed cuts to Social Security and Medicare, and handpicked Supreme Court justices who would overturn Roe v. Wade. “And as he intended, they did,” she said. “[T]oday, one in three women and more than half of Black women of reproductive age live in a state with an abortion ban.”
Then Biden took the stage to chants of “Four more years!” He added to Harris’s list of ways in which the administration has worked for racial equality: reconnecting the Black and brown and poor neighborhoods that were cut apart by highways in the 1960s and addressing the decades of disinvestment that happened as a consequence of the carving up of those neighborhoods (this cutting apart of neighborhoods is a really big deal in urban history, by the way); getting rid of the lead pipes that still contaminate water, especially in minority neighborhoods; making high-speed internet widely available and affordable; investing in historically Black colleges and universities; appointing more Black women to federal circuit courts than all other U.S. presidents combined.
Under the Biden administration, he noted, Black unemployment is at a record low and Black small businesses are starting at the fastest rate in 30 years. The wealth gap between Black Americans and white Americans is the lowest it’s been in 20 years. “We’re opening more doors for economic opportunity, including access to capital, entrepreneurship, workforce training so you can build a life of financial freedom and create generational wealth...all while being the providers and leaders of your families and community,” the president said.
Biden drew a contrast between his administration and Trump, saying, “I’ve shown you who I am, and Trump has shown you who he is. And today, Donald Trump is pandering and peddling lies and stereotypes for your votes so he can win for himself, not for you.” “[W]e’re not going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place that doesn’t believe in honesty, decency, and treating people with respect,” he said, “and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Donald Trump turn America into a place filled with anger and resentment and hate.”
According to Myah Ward and Brakkton Booker of Politico, this was Biden’s fifth trip to the Philadelphia area and his seventh to Pennsylvania this year. As he tries to win the state in 2024, the campaign has opened 24 field offices and outspent Trump there by a ratio of more than 4 to 1.
Harris and Biden’s appearance in Philadelphia looked pretty much like a normal day in a normal presidential campaign season.
The same was not true of the presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who was in a courtroom in Manhattan as Judge Juan Merchan instructed the jury in the criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels, to stop her account of their sexual encounter from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election.
Legal analyst Joyce White Vance explained that to find Trump guilty, “[t]he jury must find unanimously that Trump created fraudulent business records and that he did it with the intent to influence an election through unlawful means.”
Trump and his supporters immediately took to the media to misrepresent the court system. Trump appeared to sleep through the jury instructions but later posted on social media: “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE CHARGES ARE IN THIS RIGGED CASE…. THERE IS NO CRIME.” (He had told the judge on April 4, 2023, that he understood the charges against him.) Trump insisted that he had been railroaded by the fact that “a lot of key witnesses were not called,” although his own defense did not call them and he declined to testify himself. He called the judge “conflicted” and “corrupt,” and said “Mother Teresa could not beat these charges,” a reference to the Albanian-Indian Catholic nun canonized by the Catholic Church in 2016.
Fox News host John Roberts misrepresented the judge’s instructions, launching a wave of fury on right-wing media stations and prompting Florida senator Marco Rubio to write: “This is exactly the kind of sham trial used against political opponents of the regime in the old Soviet Union.” Utah senator Mike Lee chimed in with his own attacks on Judge Merchan. Roberts later corrected his tweet, but it was too late to change the narrative.
Tonight, those two themes reappeared again and again on social media in both Trump’s feed and those of his supporters. Their frenzy suggested they are concerned about the jury’s verdict. Newsmax host Todd Starnes tweeted: “President Trump needs to get out of New York City RIGHT NOW! Fly back to Mar-a-Lago or another state that will provide him safe harbor.”
Indeed, it seems we are seeing the fear of accountability that has been missing from the top levels of American politics since President Gerald Ford pardoned President Richard M. Nixon in 1974. While Ford believed Nixon’s accepting the pardon was an admission of guilt for his participation in the coverup of the break-in at the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in the Watergate Hotel before the 1972 election and anything else he might have done, Nixon never admitted such guilt.
In the fifty years since then, certain powerful people seem to have concluded that they cannot be held accountable to laws or rules. The MAGA Republicans are illustrating that disrespect for the rule of law on a daily basis as they work to undermine the courts and the Department of Justice.
Yesterday, Jodi Kantor of the New York Times reported that Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s story that his wife flew the upside down flag of distress favored by the January 6th rioters as a response to a hostile neighbor did not line up with accounts given by neighbors and a police report.
Because of that distress flag, as well as the “Appeal to Heaven” flag that flew over his beach house, Alito is under increasing pressure to recuse himself from considering cases related to the events of January 6, including whether Trump is immune from prosecution for his actions surrounding the attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election. Today Alito refused to recuse himself, blaming his wife for flying the flags—“My wife is fond of flying flags. I am not,” he wrote—and suggesting that anyone who thinks he should recuse himself is “motivated by political or ideological considerations.”
And in what should almost certainly be read as trolling those who disagree with him, Alito, the author of the 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision taking away from American women the right to make their own decisions about their healthcare, wrote: “[M]y wife is an independently minded private citizen. She makes her own decisions, and I honor her right to do so.”
Trump promptly congratulated Alito “for showing the INTELLIGENCE, COURAGE, and ‘GUTS’ to refuse stepping aside from making a decision on anything January 6th related.”
MAGA attacks on the rule of law affect real people’s lives. Ryan J. Reilly of NBC News reported today that after former Washington, D.C., Metropolitan Police officer Michael Fanone called Trump “authoritarian” with a “violence fetish” in front of the Manhattan courthouse yesterday, Fanone’s 78-year-old mother was swatted, with officers showing up at her home after reports of a murder there. Fanone protected the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, and went into cardiac arrest after a rioter assaulted him with a stun gun. “This is the reality of going up against or challenging Donald Trump…. These swatting calls are incredibly f---ing dangerous, especially when the target is somebody like my mom.”
—
Notes:
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/mother-jan-6-officer-michael-fanone-swatted-called-trump-authoritarian-rcna154467
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/29/remarks-by-president-biden-and-vice-president-harris-at-a-campaign-event-philadelphia-pa/
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/29/pennsylvania-2024-biden-trump-00160511
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/us/justice-alito-neighbors-stop-steal-flag.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/documents/ae3feb5a-13a4-4f0f-9046-b61a530c40fb.pdf
Civil Discourse with Joyce VanceInstructing a JuryI warned you that this part would be excruciating. The Judge instructed the jury this morning, and they’ve got the case. Their first day of deliberating is finished. They’ve got questions. They’ll return tomorrow for more. This will continue until they either reach a verdict or advise the court that they are hopelessly deadlocked. We are nowhere close t…Read more15 hours ago · 1025 likes · 168 comments · Joyce Vance
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atrupastatus/1795885918093500699
IsaacDovere/status/1795885752758247564
Acyn/status/1795931517539283004
ProjectLincoln/status/1795863897594904795
johnrobertsFox/status/1795830647719932058
marcorubio/status/1795851071010611529
molcranenewman/status/1795840559653015721
https://x.com/BradMossEsq/status/1795845341402833311
https://x.com/Acyn/status/1795843818061000716
https://x.com/BasedMikeLee/status/1795966214625190351
https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-29-2024

Today we complete the section Dedicating Our Lives to the Mystic Law from Sensei's lecture on The Record of the Orally Transmitted Teachings.
The theme this morning is "Mr. Toda said that problems and sufferings deepen and strengthen our faith, and cause flowers of happiness to bloom in the future." Let me write about my trip yesterday with Bernie to radiation. She has read and approved this post.
Bernie, as you know, is an Honorary Lady. She doesn't chant, she says she never will, and believes that Catholicism is the right religion for everyone. But I hold she practices the Mystic Law. Let’s skip down to this paragraph:

The Daishonin states: “Now Nichiren and his followers are even more anxious [or devoted] with regard to Nam-myoho-renge-kyo than they are with regard to their own lives. That is why at the conclusion of this chapter we find the words ‘The Buddha must know what is in our hearts’” (OTT, 114).

The question is, how did the Buddha know what is in the hearts of people? Sensei explains:

That is because Shakyamuni—who in “Life Span,” the 16th chapter of the Lotus Sutra, says, “Originally I practiced the bodhisattva way” (LSOC, 268)—also attained enlightenment through practicing the Mystic Law, the ultimate cause for attaining Buddhahood. That is why the Buddha deeply “knows” just how noble are the lives of those who dedicate themselves to the Mystic Law.

So the Buddha practiced the Mystic Law before Nichiren fully expounded it:

And in the evil age after Shakyamuni’s passing, Nichiren Daishonin, the Buddha of the Latter Day of the Law, revealed the one fundamental Law as Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. The life of the eternal Buddha beats in the hearts of those who chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

Bernie is a Buddhist without knowing it, even while disclaiming it. Not only a Buddhist, but a Buddha.

The lives of those who dedicate themselves to the vow of kosen-rufu are completely at one with the Buddha. They can bring forth from within compassion as deep as the ocean, wisdom as vast as the sky and courage as dauntless and unshakable as a towering mountain.

Bernie has "compassion as deep as the ocean, wisdom as vast as the sky and courage as dauntless and unshakable as a towering mountain." When I told her this, she rolled her eyes and threw some colorful words at me. But I caught her smiling at the same time.
She is "Buddha Curse-a-Lot." Who said Buddhas can't curse? When that type of language is the way to reach the hearts of some people, the Buddha will certainly choose to curse.
Sensei talked about a person becoming "a towering mountain." We saw this aspect of Bernie during the Winter Season. She was the leader of the pack, pushing and pulling. She became even more so when she got her cancer diagnosis, had the double mastectomy, went through rehab, endures RT, and is facing chemo. But look how she was so beloved by our rather staid Spring clientele. And as our summer families are rolling in, I see the same. Def a Buddha who has the power to make people laugh and come out of their shells. She floats within the stream of the Mystic Law.
But, Ladies, even more than being in the stream, we are able to activate it--like those wave machines at the water park.

Encountering hardships and obstacles because of spreading the Mystic Law is the greatest honor....The struggle to patiently propagate Buddhism makes the life state of Buddhahood shine brilliantly; it is the ultimate height to which we can soar as human beings."

Just a little friendly disclaimer here. I am taking the liberty to quote but slightly paraphrase for simplicity's sake. I am going to eliminate footnotes and brackets. Etc, etc, etc. Sue me, if you wish. For the original, please just click on the link above.

(Small note: This was originally slated for DnDGreentext before the sub got nuked, and therefore was originally in Greentext format. Had to do some serious reformatting to get it ready for this sub, so it's been sitting in my Drafts for a hot minute. If there are any errors/Format corrections that need to be made I'll get to it in a day or so as it's currently around Midnight)
(Edit: Yes, this post is very long, and yes, it goes into a lot of detail. It’s intentionally written that way to cover pretty much the entire session, and subsequently show how often That Girl would interject with her myriad of shenanigans. Some of y’all may think it’s fake or a fanfic as a result, and as much as I wish it were that simple, this is unfortunately a true event.)
Context: Friend of mine wanted to get into DMing, so she offers to run a one-shot. Being new to the system and to being a DM in general, not too many people show interest, so myself and my GF both decide to join for a grand total of four players. The setting is a Dino-themed island that's basically like Pokemon, where everyone has a dinosaur companion to help them do things. Stuff like a Police force that rides on Pterosaurs (Yes, I'm aware they're not technically dinosaurs, shut up) to farmers that have Triceratops to pull their plows, that sort of thing. DM asks for humans only, but I ask about playing a Warforged. She actually has an in-world explanation for how Warforged would be in the world, so she approves the idea. She also has her own ideas on how Magic works in the world, as it's not inherent, so nobody starts the game with spells. She also has each of us pick a dinosaur to have as a companion of sorts that will get introduced later in the story.
Enter That Girl and New Guy.
I'm playing a Warforged Artificer. That Girl (Warlock), New Guy (Rogue), and GF (Ranger) all meet up in Discord with the DM, and we're off. The session starts on a ship. Due to myself and GF's backstories, only That Girl and New Guy are present at the time. They're essentially mid-victorian era humans on a cruise when a storm begins to brew. New Guy looks around for one of the deckhands to ask what's going on and where the location of the life rafts are if need be. Pretty sensible. That Girl (who had never met this character before) suddenly appears next to him and starts berating the guy for asking about the lifeboats, "Because it would send people in a panic!"
New Guy is naturally confused, because there's a fucking storm brewing and people were probably already panicking regardless if he mentioned lifeboats or not. That Girl cuts him off both in and out of character (literally going "I put my hand in his face and make him stop talking") to continue chewing him out for no reason.
New Guy literally cannot get a word in as That Girl is harping on and on about "think of the people, you can't say those things!" This goes on for 15 actual minutes. Eventually the DM must've got tired of hearing this one-sided nonsense, so she just has the storm capsize the boat and the two players are lost at sea.
DM describes the water as cold and dark, starts to describe what they feel in response before That Girl immediately pipes up with "I cast light!"
DM: "1. Light requires verbal components, and you're underwater. You can't speak. 2. Magic isn't inherent to you, so you don't have access to it yet." The DM has them both wash up on the shore and awaken about an hour later. She then describes the beach and the things they can see. There's a jungle that's further in, and a strange green object lying on the beach. My character is green, so naturally I start looking over my sheet, getting my voice modifier ready, doing all the prep work for introduction.
DM describes the two of them finding a pair of glowing stones/crystals that emit some strange type of energy. DM also goes into painstaking detail that the green object reacts to the stones whenever they get brought close. New Guy tries to get his bearings, and That Girl starts arguing with him about his plan, and that they should *obviously* try to look for civilization (Which he was already planning on doing, but in order for that to happen you kinda have to already have an idea of where you are.)
Cue *Another* fifteen minutes of actual time spent ranting, all the time the two of them are walking past the green object over and over again. DM eventually just describes that they get close enough to object for it to animate slightly, and asks me to introduce myself. Immediately grab stone from one of them, pry open the top of my head, and insert it to fully power on. After *45 whole minutes of IRL time,* Player 3 enters the game.
Since I essentially wanted to make a robot with all kinds of integrated gadgets I rolled up an Armorer Artificer that was true neutral, since his entire gimmick was essentially going to be that he was super agreeable to pretty much anything that wasn't obviously self-destructive or outright evil. I describe myself powering up and looking over the other two, getting introductions all around. Finally, we might actually make some headway.
They ask me if I know anything about the weird crystals. I confirm my knowledge with the DM before letting them know that they're essentially power sources that were used in my character's home. (DM essentially told me that I was an Atlantian Strider and Atlantis was an advanced civilization before it sunk, and produced a bunch of crystals like the ones we were using. Actually pretty cool concept)
New Girl had cut her leg at some point during the storm, so my character heals her up, and explains that the crystals can exhibit strange powers when wielded by various creatures, which only made them more rare. (Dm confirmed they were essentially focuses that enabled spellcasting). Dm Describes sounds coming from the jungle, and That Girl starts vocally debating whether we should go in or not.
Before this can turn into *ANOTHER* fifteen minute rant, I say my character immediately starts walking into the jungle to find the noise, and New Guy decides to follow. That Girl follows along and the DM describes a large shadow in the distance. I try to walk closer, the DM describes the shadow moving away. This goes on for a few seconds or so before I just decide to cast Light, illuminating the area around me and revealing...
A T-Rex. That Girl immediately freaks, New Guy is intrigued, and I'm basically the only one that noticed a woman was riding it in a saddle. The woman introduces herself and tells us that it's usually rare for people to wash up on the shores, but not entirely unheard of. Decides to lead us to her caravan heading into the main city.
That Girl is immediately firing off questions, not even letting her get a word in before asking a new one. This goes on for some time before we eventually get led to a surplus wagon with spare equipment we can use.
We fall into the caravan and finally, FINALLY GF gets to introduce her character as she rides up to meet us... After an hour and a half of IRL time. Anyways, GF's character was native to the island and essentially worked as a caravan guard, and decided to join our odd group as a sort of Chaperone. My character is chumming it up with a few NPC's, looking over equipment, asking about their culture, that kind of thing. We eventually make it to the city where we register our characters to the city's ledger.
As we finish up, we hear a bunch of noise outside, kind of like a parade. We go to check it out and essentially see a guy on a palanquin being toted around by Dinosaurs, going on about how he's "Going to bring glory to the island by breaking through to the rest of the world." The Dm basically put a giant "This is the big bad" sign over his head.
That Girl asks what she knows about this guy (Which is probably the first time she's actually asked if she was capable of doing something instead of just loudly narrating that she does it). DM says that this guy was actually native to her home, so she knows *OF* him. Keyword being "OF." That Girl begins narrating how much she hates this guy and describes herself as "Accidentally" casting Sacred Flame on him.
Naturally this gets his attention, but he can't really pick out the perpetrator from the crowd. The DM was essentially throwing That Girl a bone, and you figured she'd get the hint but NOPE.avi. That Girl then describes herself as stepping out *INTO THE STREET* and loudly detesting the guy, describing herself as "Always knowing he was a coward, ever since they were kids!" Again, That Girl was told she had CURSORY KNOWLEDGE of this guy and she proceeds to try and make him an integral part of her character.
She tries to fight him, and basically only gets one Eldritch Blast off before he blasts her to the ground with Thunderwave and climbs back into the palanquin because this idiot wasn't worth his time. That Girl gets up and angrily tries to convince the people to rally against him. Naturally she put no proficiency into Persuasion or Deception, so the most she gets are a bunch of people staring at the crazy ranting girl firing off cthulu beams at people for no reason.
My character finally steps up and mentions that if the island was separated from the rest of the world, there was probably good reason for it to be that way. My background was Far Traveler so I had "All Eyes on Me" as a feature, which made people naturally more inclined to listen to me since I was a weird six-foot-one round robot. A few of them recognized me as an Atlantian Strider, which helped my words stick.
This was a common thing in this game, with That Girl loudly announcing that she was going to do something, fucking it up due to a fundamental misunderstanding as to how things worked, and my character picking up the slack and actually doing it. Small reminder: I had no idea what That Girl's character was going to be, her spell list, stat layout, none of it. My character just so happened to be better than her at pretty much everything. Never said it in-game, but silently I was actually enjoying getting to one-up her constant attention hogging.
So, naturally, after one of our members decided to attempt political assassination, we decided that it was best to camp out innawoods for the night. GF was our Ranger, so she was able to find a suitable spot for us. That Girl says she goes to start a fire with Sacred Flame, DM tells her that Sacred Flame isn't actually fire, but Radiance, so it wouldn't work. I immediately start an *actual* campfire using Fire bolt.
That Girl is sulking around, loudly proclaiming that she can't do anything, the remaining three of us do some RP. The DM admits that she's kind of at a loss for what to do, since she was expecting us to stay in the city, y'know, before That Girl tried to JFK the big bad. That's no problem, we'll just keep roleplaying while she thinks of how to continue the story.
That girl immediately wanders over to a cave and goes "I know! I walk over to this cave, and THIS THING walks out!" Before pulling out the token for her Dino companion and plopping it on the map. DM finally puts her foot down and says "No, that doesn't happen. I just Pmed you something, and need you to read it."
None of us knew what the DM sent to her, but we all figured it was something along the lines of "Quit hogging all the attention and trying to dictate the story. This is a group game." A few minutes later That Girl comes back and gives a halfhearted apology and explained that "She wasn't trying to hog all the attention or be the main character, she was just excited." Most of us don't really feel it's sincere but whatever, if the DM has a reign on her then let's get the ball rolling again. The DM then comes out and says that it's *My* Dino companion that comes out of the cave, a little Compsognathus. Immediately I'm bonded to this thing because it's adorable and it seems to get along nicely with me.
The new guy jokingly asks if I have a name for it, I reply "Not Yet." New Guy: "Not Yet? That's a funny name for a pet." And thus my companion was named NotYet, all one word.
The Dm sends us off to another region of the island that's full of canyons, mesas, cliffs, that sort've thing. It's where the Pterosaur Police are mainly stationed. Coincidentally, That Girl's companion was also a pterosaur. We're walking along one of the cliffs when New Guy mentions how far of a drop it is. He asks me if I know how far it actually goes down. I make an estimate of about 600 feet or so (It was actually closer to 700, but still) and he jokingly tells me I should jump down to make sure. I yeet myself over the edge, That Girl immediately tries to say "I stop him before he jumps! Can we go back in time? That didn't really happen, did it?" Girl, I weigh like 220 pounds of green steel and you weigh like 110 soaking wet. With a negative STR modifier to boot. If you try to stop me you're going over too.
I let the party freak out for a few more seconds before I cast Slow Fall and describe myself as activating tiny propulsion systems to slow my descent. I reach the bottom of the canyon, note that the actual distance is more like 700 meters, and look back up to them before I prepare to climb out with Spider Climb. Before I do, the DM basically has the Pterosaur police show up because they just watched a guy yeet himself into the canyon and wanted to make sure he was okay. They offer me a ride back up and I accept.
We eventually make it to the town of this region with a little cash to spend on things. I ask around to see if I can get a shield, DM explains that there usually isn't a lot of combat on the island, so shields were usually uncommon. No problem, I can work with what I have. That Girl immediately describes herself, and I quote, as "Buying a new set of clothes and walking out in a skin tight red and black flight suit."
You can't make this shit up.
We eventually make it to a Pterosaur gathering place, where those that would bond to them take part in a ritual. The whole "You don't choose your partner, they choose you" straight out of James Cameron's Avatar. That Girl is finally about to get her partner, and one of the NPC's essentially says "To bond with them is a leap of faith." So naturally, her first instinct is to jump off the cliff.
The DM is surprised but decides to roll with it, getting ready to describe her partner swooping in to save her, but after realizing that "Leap of Faith" was not literal, That Girl immediately changes her mind and begs for the DM to undo the last 12 seconds so she can just bond to them normally. Dm relents. That Girl is excitedly going on about her new mount/partner and fangirling so much that she misses the plot hook. Big bad had recently come through here and took a lot of the funding, mentioning that he was headed to another region.
New Guy gets his companion as we travel, a raptor, and GF already had hers, an Allosaurus which served as her mount. So we finally have the full party, companions included. We camp out for the night, the DM allows us to level up to Six. (We started at level 5) We make preparations to enter the next region, which was basically a heavy forest area. We pass through another small town, and I ask the DM if I couldn't *Buy* a shield, could I possibly make one from spare material? The Dm agrees, says there's enough scrap metal around for me to make something like a shield, so I roll my Smith's Tools. A nat 20 + Tool Expertise, + an INT modifier of 4 gives me a total of 30 on the check. The most flawless shield ever created by a living being, practically equal to God-quality is made by my funky metal man. Immediately infuse it with Repulsion Shield for that sweet extra AC (The DM handwaved the necessity to wait for a long rest to infuse it since it was a oneshot).
The party moves along into the forest region as we follow the next clue. As we're moving along, we hear someone crying for help. Look into a clearing and we see a man with a bloody leg lying on the ground. Nothing else is around him at all, which is just... strange. Guy like him would be easy meat in the middle of a Dino Jungle. A more obvious ambush could not be telegraphed.
The Ranger (GF) and Rogue (New Guy) were being cautious, trying to to see if there was any signs of the person or creature that attacked him, That Girl is loudly asking what they should be doing, and I just walk out into the middle of the clearing to cast Cure Wounds on the guy. That Girl, not to be outdone, immediately runs up next to me to do the same. She was running Celestial Warlock so she could've probably healed him from cover, but okay.
Immediately a T-rex charges at both of us. Spends one attack slashing at me with it's hind claws, which actually gets through my 20 AC. I immediately react to use Repulsion Shield, blasting it backwards, and the T-Rex decides to go for the much squishier target and crits the shit out of That Girl. It deals enough damage to nearly outright kill her. Obviously she's sent unconscious. I'm rolling my eyes and spend another spell slot to Cure Wounds her back up.
That Girl basically summons her mount (the same one she wouldn't stop fangirling over and exclaiming how useful and wonderful of a companion it was) and proceeds to use it like a meatshield while me and the other two members do all the work to drive it off. We manage to save the guy and he tells us that the wildlife has been acting strangely ever since Big Bad came through the region, get told that he's essentially headed back to the capital city.
We hitch a ride on a river raft that fast tracks us back to the capital, preparing to go to the city council to tell them that the bad guy was up to something. My GF goes into prepared speech about how much she loves her home and doesn't want to see it ravaged or cause harm by suddenly connecting it back to the rest of the world.
That Girl immediately launches into speech of her own that's twice as long and conveyed about a fourth as much information, basically repeats all the points that GF made, sometimes multiple. (I'm pretty sure she mentioned "grandstanding" at least five times. Ironic.) The DM eventually has to cut her off to point out that there's a skeleton in the room, literally. One of the Council members had essentially been instant-aged into a mummy. And That Girl had been ranting for about 5 straight minutes before noticing.
Granted, GF had done a speech too and was naturally a little embarrassed about going into a diatribe without checking the room first, but at least hers was concise. We learn that Big Bad had gone to the Town Square to do some Big Bad stuff, and we rolled up to stop him. Fight Begins, and That Girl immediately hops on her mount, flying around and blasting him from the air. I'm up front, tanking for my little companion, GF and New Guy are off to the sides picking at the minions, three T-Rexes that he had with him.
That Girl is essentially taunting Big bad that he can't hit her from up here, flying back and forth the whole time. The Big Bad is sick of her shit and casts Earthbind. That Girl goes from smarmy asshole to shitting her pants in about 0.2 seconds. Everyone else is stuck with a T-rex (Except me, because I managed to kill the one I was fighting but was too far away to help)
Big Bad starts blasting her and her mount, while she's desperately trying to find some way to cast more spells, use more actions, anything. She deadass asks at one point: "If I sacrifice all my movement and bonus actions can I take another action?" Never in my life have I wanted to play Fighter more than in that moment.
I eventually make my way over and start blasting with Fire Bolt. Big Bad takes notice and flings attacks my way. I avoid most of them, but one of them hits my partner. Up until this point, my character's signature catchphrase had been "Okay!" To basically anything. "Hey, jump off this cliff." "Okay!" "Can you heal me?" "Okay!" "Take the night watch." "Okay!" But now his partner was hurt. I Drop my voicemod by a few octaves.
"NOT. OKAY."
I Blast him with magic Missile. The fight between us breaks out on some Duel of the Fates type shit. Spells are being cast, weapons are being thrown, strategies being devised. Eventually, our group manages to consolidate and we manage to bring him down. He's not dead, but laid out on the floor.
We go through his shit, and loot his sword, which has a single Wish spell, which was inactive until it was joined with a second Mcguffin we had picked up. He also had an Elixir of Health on him, which was good for That Girl's backstory, since the reason she was on the cruise at all was to see if she could find a cure for her sister's unknown disease. Somehow, this isn't enough for That Girl. She wants to cast some homebrew spell that makes him reveal an embarrassing secret so she can spread it to the world or whatever. Most of us had checked out of her shenanigans at this point and were just trying to finish the game.
The DM actually decides to roll with it, and instead of an embarrassing secret, she decides to tell us his backstory. Essentially this guy was getting Benjamin Buttoned. At some point in his life, he was cursed to begin aging backwards, and essentially had to Time Vampire other people to sustain himself. He watched his original family die, same with others he'd gained throughout his unnatural lifespan. More than anything, he just wanted his suffering to be over.
So my friendly, true neutral Warforged, in a somber voice, simply replies: "Okay..."
I firebolt him three times, basically turning him into a solo funeral pyre. The characters all bow their heads in silence. Seems like That Girl finally got a grasp on how to- "WAIT WAIT I WAS MUTED GUYS GO BACK GO BACK DON'T KILL HIM!"
Goddamnit.
We go back and she loudly goes over how she's taking the Elixir of Health and offering it to him for... some reason? She's literally been beefing with this guy the whole game and suddenly she wants to forsake her sister to save him? I start to point out that diseases and curses are different and she cuts me off, going "LET ME FINISH!"
I think *long* and *hard* about whether I should be an asshole and just letting her waste it on him, but against my better judgement, I decide, once again, to tell her that using it on him would be a waste, since a Curse is not the same thing as a Disease.
Eventually we combine the sword and the Mcguffin to cast Wish and open a portal for That Girl and New Guy to go home. She offers a letter to GF and narrates that GF opens and reads it. GF has none of that and says she doesn't read it and haphazardly waves her off through the portal. The DM has a short epilogue where That Girl travels back with her now-cured sister.
That Girl starts to go onto another speech about how amazing this place was and how she was such wonderful friends with us. I cut her off, simply saying "I barely know you. And I like (Gf's character) better." The session ends, and we talk about the highs and lows.
We tell DM our honest opinion about her style, essentially saying that for a one-shot especially, don't be afraid to nudge your players, because sometimes it's hard to pick a direction and go.
We tell That Girl *gently* that she needs to realize this is a team game, and that she's not *THE* main character. Insert sputtering about "W-well my friend is a DM and I hang out with him often and I guess since I couldn't really *pick a direction* (Yeah, she used my exact words here, which came damn close to setting me off since she was clearly pulling this explanation out her ass) I just kind of tried to control the story so we could move again." I *very firmly* tell her that controlling the story isn't her job, and to leave that to the DM.
A few weeks later in another group chat, I vented about the session and everyone confirmed that she single-handedly was the biggest problem with that game in particular. I learned from other friends that this isn't her first time pulling this shit either. All of us silently agreed to not invite her back
TL;DR: Loudmouth player thinks she’s the main character of a oneshot, fails at practically everything she tries to accomplish, and is silently dropped from other games as a result.

May 29, 2024
HATONN
THIRD PROPHECY OF FATIMA--A BIT OF HOLY CHURCH PROPHECY
Do you remember the Prophecy of Fatima? Recall that two were shared and accepted--but the THIRD PROPHECY WAS FORBIDDEN SPEAKING AND HAS BEEN THE VATICAN'S MOST CLOSELY KEPT SECRET. However, as with all Truth--it began to slip out and was quite widely "leaked" in the mid-80s. some of you may well remember or might have read it somewhere to be tucked away again with the document stating the story. These are accepted even by the Church as valid visions and MIRACLES.
THE THIRD PROPHECY DEALS WITH THE TIME TO THE CHANGE OF THE CENTURY
We offer here the text of the Third Prophecy of Fatima:
"A great plague will befall mankind in the second half of the 20th century. Nowhere in the world will there be order, and Satan will rule the highest places, determining the way of things.
"Satan will even succeed in asserting himself at the top of the Church.
"He will succeed in seducing the spirits of the great scientists who invent arms, with which it will be possible to destroy a large part of humanity in.a few minutes. Satan will have in his power, the powerful who command the people and who will incite them to produce enormous quantities of arms.
"God will punish man more thoroughly than with the Flood. There will come the time of all times and the end of all ends. The great and powerful will perish together with the small and weak.
"Even for the Church, it will be the time of its greatest trial. Cardinals will oppose cardinals, bishops will oppose bishops.
"Satan will walk in their midst, and in Rome there will be great changes. The Church will be darkened, and the world will be shaking with terror.
"A huge war will erupt in the second half of the 20th century. Fire and smoke will fall from the sky. The waters of the ocean will become mist, and the foam will rise to tremendous heights and everyone will drown.
"Millions and millions of men will die from hour to hour. Whoever remains alive will envy the dead. Everywhere one turns one's glance there will be anguish and misery, ruins in every country.
"The time draws nearer, the abyss widens without hope. The good will perish with the bad, the great with the small, the princes of the Church with the faithful, the rulers with their people.
"There will be deaths everywhere because of the errors committed by the crazed and the followers of Satan, who will then and only then rule the world.
"At the last, those who survive will at every chance newly proclaim God and His glory and they will serve HIM as when the world was not so perverted."
Not such a good perception, is it?
__________________________________
WHAT PRAYER CAN DO
From GUIDEPOSTS, P. O. Box 1479, Carmel, NY 10512
The Los Angeles freeway was unusually congested for a Saturday morning as a friend drove me to the airport. We arrived with only five minutes to spare. I raced to the check-in desk. "I'm booked on the 11:55 flight," I told the attendant.
"I'm sorry, sir," she said, "that gate is closed."
"I have to preach in New Hampshire tomorrow morning," I said. "What is the gate number?"
She told me, then repeated, "But sir, it's closed." I took off running.
Just as I reached the gate, the door opened and an attendant stepped through. Waving my ticket, I shouted, "Hold that door!" Inside the plane I learned that since I was a no-show, someone else had been given my seat. The only seat left was next to the galley. As I eased into it I noticed the young woman beside me reading a Bible.
"It's good to see you reading the Bible," I remarked.
"I"ve never flown before," she said. "I'm afraid."
"Would you like me to pray for you?" I asked.
As I prayed, our plane moved into position for take-off. I finished just as the engines were revving up. Once airborne, my seat mate relaxed a bit and we talked. She was on her way to be with her mother, who was scheduled for surgery. "You're not going to believe this," she said, "but last night I asked God to have a minister sit beside me today."
I did believe her. Isn't God wonderful?" -----Victor G. Dawe, Richmond, Virginia (End quoting)
He certainly is.

Average Reading Time for this portion: 36-37 minutes
Part 1: Humanitarian Part 2: Gratitude Part 3: Peacemakers Peacemakers (Continued) Peacemakers (Conclusion)
The civil war had been raging between the Shra home world and its former colonies for just shy of nine hundred years. It had become such a feature of the landscape that the other species in the galaxy had seriously considered adding, “The Shra fight one another,” to, “Death,” and, “Taxes,” as universal constants.
The length of the conflict combined with the psychology of the Shra meant that the war was destined to collapse into each side being led by a monolithic faction. From time to time, splinter groups that were more or less aggressive would fracture off, but once they had spent their energy on attempting to make whatever changes they broke away for, they would again fold into the greater whole.
On the side of the home system, the faction was called the Sha’Kel, which translated roughly into, “People of Home.” Their opponents in their outer colonies were members of the Sha’Lor, which in its turn meant, “People of Freedom.” The two sides had scarcely communicated with each other in over seventy years beyond insults and slurs broadcast on the battlefield.
The incandescence of the start of the conflict so long ago had now diminished into a smoldering mote of hatred that would regularly ignite into fresh conflagrations of violence. The galaxy at large had a very low tolerance for warfare, but turned their eyes aside from what was happening amongst the Shra.
It was considered an internal conflict. The war had gone on a long time, but longer still was the belief that it would set a catastrophic precedent to allow one species to interfere with the internal politics of another. To start such practices or take sides in a conflict of that nature would open doors that everyone agreed would inevitably escalate into wars on a galactic scale.
Perhaps more fundamentally, the simple fact that most species didn’t live long enough to remember a time when the Shra were not at war meant it had become little more than something everyone just took for granted as reality. Traders avoided certain regions of space, the media no longer reported on the war, and everyone just went about their business because, after all, the Shra fight one another. No peoples of the galaxy questioned the inevitability of that.
Except the Caretakers.
The Caretakers, or, “Humans,” more officially, had displayed time and time again that they were driven to alleviate the suffering of others. Their unorthodox actions saving the children of the [REDACTED] species from extinction at the hands of the Garensha Republic had cemented their already recognized position among the galaxy as advocates and protectors of life. As such, they were drawn to the pain and suffering of the Shra civil war as irresistibly as a Terran moth is to a flame.
At first, they offered their medical services like they had with all species engaging in conflict. So deep was the hatred for the Shra factions to their rivals, that both sides rejected it. They held it was better to destroy the enemy at any cost than to engage in a course of action that would allow one of their despised foes to live.
Failing in this, the people of Earth proposed peace talks. Initially, there seemed to be great interest in the idea. This early hope was crushed completely as both sides independently attempted to cajole, bribe, or even outright threaten the Human delegation that was organizing the meeting to aid them. The requests ranged from the simple planting of listening devices, all the way to poisoning and murdering the other side’s representatives. With each side gaining no traction in their attempts to use the Humans to strike at their enemies, the peace talks disintegrated.
The Caretakers would not be so easily dissuaded, however.


Ediknay was just getting out of his first hot shower in years thanks to his recent move to the central core residential area apartment. While it wasn’t much, the stipend he received as becoming the new ambassador increased his cash flow just enough to get him upgraded from the upscale apartments in the third outer district. On top of such obvious luxuries as hot water and electricity, his mind was generally much more at ease here. The core regions were so far underground that no bombs the Enemy had dropped on their world had done significant damage for over five hundred years. With these new benefits of his title, he finally felt like he had made it to a respectable level of status in their society.
For many years, the position of, “Ambassador,” was merely a ceremonial one. This derived from the species in the galaxy at large having given up on contacting the Shra for pretty much any reason. It had been reduced to something that gave a small stipend and let a person go to a few additional social functions of state throughout the year. Given the severe food shortages and rationing planet wide, those extra few meals alone made the title worth it. Beyond that, it was a station of little actual importance and came with even less responsibility.
As he was grooming his claws and getting some un-molted scales off his crest, he heard a loud thud on the door. Wrapping a towel around himself, he moved over to see who it was. His eye instinctively went to the small peephole and through it he saw three uniformed soldiers waiting outside. He couldn’t quite make out the rank insignia through the smudged lens, and made a mental note to clean it when he got the chance. The one thing their attire told him, however, was that they were not officers like he was.
“Hold on one moment, I will be with you shortly.”
The three uniformed Shra outside exchanged a look and flared their crests in irritation before one of them said, “Ambassador Ediknay? Is that you in there? You need to come with us, hurry up!”
That was odd. It had been years since anyone had failed to address him using his officer’s rank. These soldiers must think he worked in one of the support industries and not in the war directly. It was reasonable, he surmised, given even officers’ salaries were usually not enough to gain residence in the Central Core. The safest areas were usually occupied by various leaders of industry.
When he had finished getting ready, he opened the door and quickly caught the ranks of the people waiting for him.
He asked, “Soldier First Class, what is this all about?”
One of them was leaning against the wall opposite him looking at a nick or something on one of the claws on its hand. The two others were absently talking to one another. The Soldier First Class casually looked over one shoulder and saw that they were in the presence of an officer.
Immediately, he snapped into a formal stance and said, “Officer Present!”
Hearing this, the other two soldiers turned and went rigidly to attention.
“As before, soldiers. Now, what’s this all about?” Edinkay asked.
The Soldier First Class responded, “No idea, Sir. We were told to come and deliver you to the First War Leader of the Fleet.”
He tilted his head and thought about that a moment. Why would the leader of all space combat vessels have any interest in talking to him?
“Very well,” he said, “Lead the way.”
To his surprise, they had a personal vehicle waiting for him. That was a luxury he was unaccustomed to, having used rail lines or busses his whole life. On this conveyance, he was transported to the Central Command Hub. Within a few minutes of arriving, he was shown to the office door of the First War Leader of the Fleet.
The soldiers left him after indicated he should go in. He knocked, opened the door, and stepped in.
He announced himself, “Second Officer of Logistics, Edinkay, reporting as ordered, First War Leader.”
The room smelled faintly of printer ink, with a hint of old wood. He remained at attention, waiting for the War Leader to address him, but as he did so he surveyed the room moving only his eyes.
It was a large space, scarcely appropriate to be referred to as an office. It had the telltale indications it was very old, probably pre-rebellion construction. Actual wood paneling covered many of the walls and most of the ceiling. The lacquer in some places above his head held on against the ravages of time, giving deep maroon glimpses of the opulence this room once held. Where the planks did not cover, there were delicate friezes of plaster depicting scenes of life as alien to him as they were ancient. They revealed cities on the surface with cars whisking people off along old roadway systems. Citizens were dressed lavishly by modern standards, and children and parents walked together through a radiant world of prosperity.
At the far end of the room, the creek of metal drew his attention. It came from a standard issue, mass produced desk everyone in the service used if they had any clerical duties whatsoever. The simple dull grey appearance stood out in stark contrast to the echoes of affluence that still whispered around this room nine hundred years later.
The Shra at the desk glanced briefly at him then went back to his papers, “I called for no logistics officer. You should check to see you are at the right place before coming into a First War Leader’s office, Second Officer.”
“Sir, the soldiers delivered me here at what they said was your order.”
The older Shra didn’t break his studying of the documents in front of him as his crest flared with irritation and he snapped, “What I asked for was our ambassador. Would you so kindly send in those idiots on your way out? Good day, Second Officer.”
“Uh, that’s also me, Sir.”
The seated Shra looked up finally and eyed him, “Is that so? Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“I am new to the role, Sir, and accustomed to a military life and titles,” he replied.
“Well, in that case, let me congratulate you on representing our people to the first outsiders we have received in some time. Their diplomat is in the next room. They call themselves, ‘Human.’ Now, I don’t expect much from them. We had dealings with them a few years back and it came to nothing. Ultimately, they were unwilling to give us any advantage over our enemies, so we stopped wasting our time on them. Normally, we would have sent this one away at the outset, but the people of his planet mentioned a special offer for us that would free up our resources. I don’t need to remind you that anything that will allow us to divert more of our energy and resources to the war effort is something of great interest to our people.”
Edinkay stood there a moment, turning the words over in his mind, not quite knowing how to process all of it. He knew that other species existed, and they interacted with them from time to time, but none ever came offering help. They had tried countless times to convince the Galactic Council of the rightness of their cause, but those bureaucrats never budged in their position of non-interference.
His thoughts were interrupted when the War Leader barked, “Of course I don’t think it will come to anything, or I would be speaking to her myself. The last time some of them came here they tried to get us to agree to peace negotiations with the Enemy. As if we would abandon the efforts of nearly a thousand years of struggle and capitulate thanks to a new face. I think these peaceniks are a waste of my time, but yours is, well-”
The war leader stopped for a moment, as if searching for the right words.
“Less valuable?” Edinkay offered.
The older Shra looked at him and pointed a clawed finger, “Yes, that exactly.”
The older officer gestured to a far side of the room that had three large doors and said, “It’s the one in the middle. Now, go get rid of them so I can get someone more useful in my office.”
As he strode across the room, Edinkay wasn’t sure if the War Leader was referring to him or the Human.
He paused for a moment before opening it, and as his hand was reaching for the handle, the War Leader called, “Oh, before you go in, they seem to have some strange ideas about keeping their diplomats and military separate entities. As such, better not mention your rank. Hopefully they won’t recognize your uniform.”
With that, the older Shra went back to his papers.
As he extended his hand the rest of the way to the handle, he noticed faint outlines that indicated it was once an ornately crafted piece of hardware, now worn smooth in many places from centuries of use.
The door swung open, and he entered the room. He could tell from his peripheral vision that it was another formerly beautiful space, but it had handled the passing of time and use less gracefully than the previous.
Seated on a comparatively modest couch of recent construction was one of the aliens. It stood and waited for him to speak, or so he assumed.
“I am Sec, er, Ambassador Edinkay. My government informs me you wish to open negotiations?”
“We do,” the human responded, “I am Ambassador Valeria Dupree of Earth. I have been tasked with assessing the situation on your world and seeing how we may best reduce the suffering of your people.”
Edinkay stepped to the couch opposite and sat, gesturing for Dupree to do the same.
When they were both seated, he asked the Human, “What would you like to know?”
“How about a tour?” Ambassador Dupree asked with a smile.
“I think I could arrange that, assuming proper security precautions are observed.”


For the next week, Edinkay took Dupree to a number of regions of their world.
When the situation was explained to the planetary government, he was given a special stipend and an assistant to do as much as possible to impress the visitor. It was universally assumed that these Humans were playing a longer game, and that they intended to help them win the war for the end of gaining a loyal trading partner. That was a reasonable assumption, because any species that helped end the conflict would earn itself an immeasurably grateful ally.
He didn’t remember any time in his life where he had eaten so well.
He went all around their world showing all the advancements, resources, and other benefits they could offer the Humans access to if they were to ally with them. There were no real hiccups except the third day when they were visiting the northern areas of the Herojes Industrial Region. As the two of them were listening to a presenter talk about the latest refinement techniques of ship hull design, an alarm sounded.
“What’s that?” Dupree asked.
“We have detected an incoming missile strike,” Edinkay replied, “Please come this way to a shelter.”
It struck him how awkward Valeria was as they made their way to the shelter. She seemed anxious.
“Don’t worry, we will be to the shelter in moments,” he offered, “They can take everything but a direct hit. They are very well hidden from the Enemy. In any case, the bunkers are not the targets of the raids in this region.”
He noticed her anxiety didn’t seem placated by his words. It took them getting to the shelter before she really seemed to calm down. Secure in the VIP section of the bunker, he offered her some water and she took it with slightly shaking hands.
She took a sip and then looked at him, “This doesn’t seem to bother, well, any of you. Everyone just acted like it was business as usual to drop whatever they were doing and head underground.”
His frill fluttered in amusement as he said, “Whatever do you mean? It is business as usual. The workers on the surface have to do this two, sometimes three times a day.”
She took another sip of water and asked, “You said they were not targeting the bunkers. What is the goal of their raids?”
“The same as ours on their world,” he replied, “We learned long ago that it was far easier to target their agricultural and industrial infrastructure than to try and hit their people directly. It is a longer strategy, but it has reduced the estimated population of their planet by roughly 92% since the war began.”
He turned and walked over to a couch and sat.
His claw absently combed through a tassel on the armrest as he mused, “I wish I had been alive then. In the beginning there was glory to be had. Attacks on their world could be seen with your own eyes. You know for the first hundred years both sides actually sent manned ships? Now, the defenses are too good on both sides for manned attacks on planets so those that do personally see combat are usually defending or attacking asteroid mines or orbital gas refineries.
He waved at a monitor on the wall, long since left unpowered by the electrical grid damage in this area, “The gun camera footage is still popular viewing today, eight centuries after it was originally taken. My personal favorite was the famous attack on the Felik Reservoir dam. When we hit that, it exploded and millions upon millions of tons of water broke out, washing away the metropolis of Jegola City. Later reconnaissance showed the flood had toppled all the skyscrapers and most of the smaller buildings were simply washed away. More important, however, was the loss of water to their farming zones, and the electricity shortages they undoubtedly faced. Those brave raiders were hailed as heroes. Nowadays, pilots are rare. They take too many resources to train and the interstellar fighters we use take significant inputs. Sure, a strike craft would be better than unpiloted munitions, but at what cost?”
He focused on her and waved a claw, “The systems now are far more advanced and scientific. We send preprogrammed missiles to impact their agricultural regions in a purely mechanical manner. We know the orbit of their world, and the regions they farm and build in. Plotting strikes is little more than a math equation these days.”
Ambassador Dupree slowly walked over and sat down next to him before asking, “Do you ever wish it were over? I mean, look around. The damage caused to both sides has left you mere echoes of the civilization you once were.”
Edinkay’s pupils dilated as anger rushed through him, “Yes, they have caused great suffering and death. I would with every fiber of my being wish to see them all dead for the suffering they have caused.”
“Have you ever considered that they may have suffered just as greatly?” she asked softly.
“I certainly hope so, and more,” he responded.
He sat back on the couch and he examined her for a moment. A week taking her around and showing her the bounty their friendship could offer had given him a chance to learn the basics of human emotional expression, but he had still not mastered it.
“You seem upset. What is wrong?”
The room rumbled with a relatively near missile impact, and she took another sip of water before replying, “There is so much to take in. It seems you truly are in this to the end. Is this the life you want to pass on to your children?”
He looked at her a long moment, trying in vain to read the complexity of the mammalian features.
“Our children must grow strong if they expect to survive. They have to know what it is we actually face and what to expect. Their training begins at an early age to make them into the kinds of adults it takes for all of us to survive.”
She walked to the door. It had a little window at the top that was opaque with years of dust nobody had ever cared to wipe off. She took a cloth from her pocket and wiped a clean spot to look through at the masses of workers waiting in the common area of the shelter.
“I don’t see any young here, nor have I really at any time on my visit. Do you keep them in some sort of safe area from attacks?”
Edinkay laughed at that, and replied, “No, that would make them weak. Our species is blessed with a relatively short reproductive cycle, or so we have been led to understand from what little those bureaucrats in the Galactic Council shared in the early contact days. We put our education facilities in the least safe areas. That way we know that those who survive will be the right kind of adults to take our species into the future. They will have learned with their own eyes the cost of failure when it comes to defending against the Enemy.”
She walked back and sat down again, “Don’t you think it would be better for you to have an educated workforce to draw on for your civilian and military infrastructure?”
“Yes, that would be ideal, but all available resources are currently taken up in our planetary defense. A trained child would take years to develop. An interstellar missile to kill, or starve, or weaken our enemy takes less resources and can be manufactured in mere days. If disease, or starvation, or an enemy attack kills that child, our investment is lost. With a missile, it is all but guaranteed to keep our enemies in a weakened state, therefore maximizing the benefit from our investment.”
“I am confused,” she began, “With such a system how do you keep as advanced a technological level as you currently possess? I would think the lack of education would lead to a terminal decline over time.”
“Well,” he said, shifting his weight a little on the seat, “Certain families that have proven adept at the technologies or capabilities we need are given resources to train their own children to continue supplying the war effort. I myself was trained as an officer because my great-grandfather earned his way into the ranks, thus proving the value of our line.”
Another boom rumbled through the room, but it was farther off than the previous.
Edinkay waited for a small line of dirt to finish dropping through a crack in the ceiling before he asked, “So, Ambassador, what is it you came here for? I was told that you had a proposal for us.”
She put her glass of water on a small table in front of the couch and said, “I came here with no less than a dozen proposals, actually. After what I have seen this past week, I am afraid all but one of them is off the table.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. What could she have seen that would have convinced her to not offer so much? The confidence he had felt during her visit was shaken to its foundation. Had he lost out on some great opportunity without even realizing it?
“Was it something I said?” was all he could think to ask.
“No,” she began slowly, “It’s because of how your entire society perceives things. Almost anything we may offer you would in some direct or indirect way be used to kill people we have no qualms with. If we participated in your system, we would by extension be responsible for their deaths. As such, I can offer nothing materially to your society. That leaves me with only one thing I can offer as an option.”
Edinkay realized he should have taken more time to convince her this past week that their side was the right one to throw in with. He had taken it for granted she was intelligent enough to comprehend that, but he was clearly wrong. At this point, all he may be able to do is salvage whatever he could out of this last week. If he didn’t come away with something, the higher ups would demand an accounting for the rations and resources he had used courting this species.
“So, what is the one thing you still have left?”
She leaned back on the couch and crossed her legs, “While I can’t offer anything to your society at large, we can still take individual needs into consideration. It would be stretching the boundaries of my mandate some, but I am willing to make the case to my superiors for Earth to take into our care your children. We did it to save a planet’s worth of children from the bombs of the Garensha Republic, and I think the case can be made here too.”
He thought about that a moment, then said, “What would you ask in return?”
“Nothing,” she replied, “It is enough for our people to know we had some part in mitigating the suffering of others.”
“So, how would that work exactly? Would you expect food shipments and supplies?”
She shook her head, “No, we would feed, clothe, maintain their health, and give them a basic education at no cost in resources to you.”
Edinkay tried hard to keep his thrill from being manifest on his crest. The number of resources it would free up to get the children off planet could allow for a significant reallocation of material to the military. Even so, he thought he might try to get a little more out of the deal.
“Will you educate them to be functional members of every part of our society?”
She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head slightly, “In what regard?”
“We would need at least some of them to be trained as strike craft pilots. The process takes years, and we can’t lose out on the opportunity to begin their training early.”
Her eyes remained relative slits, and she leaned forward and folded her hands together before resting them on her knee, “But you just said that you didn’t train pilots anymore.”
“But I explained also that we did so out of fear of losing the investment. With you taking them off planet that is no longer a concern. My government would not consider your offer seriously if all who came back were fit for only farming.”
She grew quiet for a time, and he worried he may have overstepped. Having greater numbers of children simply grow up and be useful labor would be a thrilling idea to his superiors, but he would get promotions and be honored if his deal led to a real increase in military capabilities.
“I think we can agree to that,” she said finally.


Eight years later:
A thrill shot through him as Jurik pegged the accelerator to maximum. The rest of his strike group, twenty-nine other ships, all did the same. Glancing at the sensors, he saw their opponents mirroring them.
The voice of his second, Genrik, came to him over the coms, “You know Threnlis. She will have something up her sleeve.”
He smiled, “Of course she will. She’s as clever as they come.”
“So, we are just going to go straight at her formation?”
Jurik thought about that for a moment before replying, “The truth is, I don’t have any idea what she has planned. The thing I am certain of, is that our team has better pilots and dogfighters. If we close and engage, it gives us the best chance to circumvent whatever she intends to spring on us. After all, no plan survives first contact with the enemy.”
“Well,” his wingman concluded, “You’ve gotten us this far. We’re with you.”
The two wings of raiding ships closed at mind boggling speed. Great plumes of plasma trailed behind the individual fighters in each formation.
Jurik watched with increasing concern as the ships of his opponents didn’t seem to break or maneuver in any way. That was unusual for Threnlis. He wasn’t exaggerating when he said she was as clever as they come, and the fact they were getting so close without any indication of a ploy or trick caused his crest to itch. His mind began racing, wondering what he wasn’t seeing.
Then, he saw it. Their closing speeds started to drop off. While his ships were still accelerating, hers had started thrusting in the opposite direction, but just barely. One ship on their side was pulling away from the rest. It was drifting without thrusting either, but rather than reversing it had cut thrust and was proceeding solely on momentum.
He keyed his com to his flight, “Wing Commander to all ships, they are up so something. Be ready.”
“Sir, their readings are a little funny. If it were different circumstances, I would say that lead ship was deteriorating or something. There are a lot of intermittent, smaller readings all around it.”
That was Sezkig, the best sensor operator in his command. When he told you something was off, you could bet things were going to go sideways.
It was time for a contingency plan. He considered for a moment, then said ordered. “Beta Squad, turn your ships and prepare to accelerate in a 90 degree angle to the incoming forces to port. Gamma, you do the same to starboard. I will take Alpha straight in to spring whatever trap she has planned. Execute maneuver in three, two-
He was cut off by a screeching noise through the coms. He strained as he keyed them off and looked at his readings. His sensors were going haywire. Where before his screen had shown an incoming flight of enemy craft, now all he saw was a giant area of static. It was still heading straight for his wing, but there was no resolution whatsoever in the readings.
There weren’t many things that looked like that on screens, and all of them had to do with an electromagnetic event. That tracked with why the coms may have gone down, but how could Threnlis have pulled that off?
In the mere moments it took him to consider these things, Sezkig had already figured out how to cut through the noise and sent a text to all the ships.
[ECMF’S]
He blinked as he read it again. To make that much of a disruption, they would have had to use all their Electronic Counter Measures Flares at once. His mind raced to think of how using all of their most effective missile defense ordinance at once could help them. Whatever it was, he knew he had only seconds to figure it out. The flares would burn out any second now and he was sure whatever it was she had planned would go off before they did. The one thing he was sure of was that she was using it to get closer.
Keying his com to the same channel as Sezkig used, he sent a text only communication to all his ships.
[BREAK AND EVADE]
He craned his neck around to look behind him and saw his ships veering off and thrusting away in pairs. It was a dangerous move to split up the formation this far apart, but he figured if he couldn’t see her ships, she couldn’t see his either. In any case, he certainly didn’t want to put all the ships in the same place for whatever it was she had planned.
For his part, he and his wingman would go straight in. Whatever trap it was, he would be the one to spring it.
A blaring alarm brought his head back to look ahead of him. The HUD indicated he was getting target locked.
Fighting back the fear and urge to panic, he looked over his scanner screen again and still saw the giant mass of static approaching him. His mind raced to figure out how she was tracking him through that. It didn’t make any sense. She had the same ships he did. If he couldn’t see through it, then how could she?
In a flash of memory, he remembered reading a quote from Sherlock Holmes.
“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be truth.”
So, if it were impossible for her to see and target him, what could?
His eyes went wide and instinct took over. He turned the nose of his raider ninety degrees and executed a full burn. Releasing flares, he threw a glance over his shoulder to see his wingman Genrik had taken his cue and done the same. When his friend’s ship erupted into a ball of flame and expanding debris, he realized his assessment was correct.
The only thing other than a ship that could independently target would be a missile after it was fired and lost its lock. He wasn’t sure how she pulled it off, but Threnlis had used ECMF’s as a screen, fired her missiles through it, and now they were searching for targets. He pegged his thrusters to maximum to try and get out of the way of the incoming barrage, but his HUD lit up with dozens of missiles that locked on to him. Not even flares would help him this close.
He whispered, “Well played, Thren,” seconds before the hail of missiles slammed into his ship and everything went black.


Time seemed to stand still as the scenario played over and over through his mind. What could he have done differently?
He went over the information again and again. Now with the luxury of time, he was able to start putting the pieces together into a coherent picture.
While they were in formation, Threnlis must have had her entire force deploy their ECMF’s in point defense mode. On that setting, they would only go off if they detected an incoming missile. To make a disruption that big, she must have had every ship deploy their entire compliment of countermeasures. Edging back with reverse thrust, she let one ship drift ahead with the flares. Then at the same time they all shot their missiles at their own ally that was now in the lead. The ECMF’s went off, the pilot used the disruption to evade and rejoin its allies, and the missiles flew on through to lock on to and destroy the next thing they found. Unfortunately for him and his wingman, they were the only two targets available. The rest of his fighters had broken contact and gone evasive at that point.
She had completely outsmarted him. He never stood a chance.
He had passed through confusion, into understanding, and was beginning down the road of self-flagellation for not being smarter. Just then, his cockpit opened and a crack of light penetrated the darkness. He squinted, released his harness, and lifted himself out of the seat in motions born more of muscle memory and habit than intention.
He always hated this part. Getting out of the simulator to face the squad you let down never sat right with him. It was even worse this time, with the academy cup on the line. His team had been relying on him to get them through and win it, and he was the second one to get vented in the very opening of the match.
Bringing a hand up to shield his eyes from the punishing lights, he saw a uniform set of blurry forms that he knew were not there when he got in the simulator. He looked to his left, and saw Genrik, who was also protecting himself from the glare as his eyes adjusted.
When his eyes focused more, he saw the unknown forms in the room resolve into three clean rows of pilots. When he could see more, he soon recognized them as his squadron.
He instinctively snapped to attention when he heard a voice call out, “Admiral on deck!”
Still blinking, only his eyes moved as he tracked the Human as he entered the room. What was an admiral doing here?
The older man in dress uniform walked over to him and said, “At ease, Cadet.”
He shifted his posture physically, but not mentally.
The Admiral spoke, “Whenever I am working in this system, I make a point to come see the latest batches of fresh blood we have coming through these halls. I was very impressed by the tactics used by Cadet Threnlis in this match. What is your assessment of her performance?”
He responded stiffly, “Sir, I was taken out too early to make a full assessment of the efficacy of her tactics, but based on previous confrontations I can say without reservation that she is as brilliant a tactical leader as I have ever encountered, or possibly even read about.”
The human looked at him with dark brown eyes and asked, “You had Major Grisham as your Military Tactics professor, did you not?”
“I did, Sir.”
The Admiral’s eyebrows rose slightly as he said, “Well, then, I would say your praise of Cadet Threnlis is high indeed given I know how vigorous Grisham can be with drowning his students in reading both historical and theoretical on the subject.”
Jurik suppressed a flair of amusement that was welling up in his crest as he replied, “Yes, Sir. She earned every part of her win today.”
The older human smiled and looked down at him, “I am afraid you are mistaken Cadet, she didn’t win. Her tactics used up all of her flares and missiles. It was a hell of a gambit, but it didn’t pay off for her. Your ships, being spared of the missile salvo, closed on them and cut them to ribbons.”
His crest stood on end in excitement and, breaking decorum, asked, “Really? We won?”
“You did. Your quick action saved the lives of your fighters. Congratulations.”
The Admiral snapped Jurik a salute, and the cadet returned it.
The older man brought his hand down and called out, “Now, Cadet, unless things have changed around here fundamentally since I walked these halls, I believe you and your team have a party to get to. Formation dismissed!”
With that, a cheer broke out in the room and his team rushed to hug, clap on the back, and otherwise physically celebrate their leader. He was hoisted up on their shoulders in a moment that he would remember for the rest of his life.
As he was looking around, reveling in the moment with his comrades, he saw Threnlis’ air wing enter the room and form ranks.
“Let me down, we have company,” he said, spreading his hands out to the sides.
They did so, and he made his way to her and the other pilots.
Before he could get anything out, she said, “Congratulations on your victory in the final match.”
He ran his clawed hand over his crest and admitted, “You know, if we hadn’t been in this academy for the last eight years teaching me how ingenious you can be, you would have had us. That was a brilliant move with the flares.”
Her eyes darted down and to the side a moment before she responded, “It wasn’t clever enough to get you though. We only vented ten percent of your flyers when all was said and done.”
“If I didn’t know who I was up against, and had the appropriate amount of paranoia because of it, you would be the ones cheering right now.”
Her crest perked up a little and she said, “Well, if you really think that you could tell the brass it was an unfair competition and give us the trophy.”
He bared his teeth in amusement and replied, “Not on your life.”
Next: Peacemakers (Continued)
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