Ck worksheet ideas

350+/1800$ Gift Trades in 6 years

 

Made a Google doc because the list is long

MY Trade Reputation
 

YOUR FAVOURITE SELLER IS BACK FOR 6TH YEAR IN A ROW. CHECK MY REP THREAD

 

CACHE Price Increases as I stock out & Reservation is Compulsory

 
Want Paypal/Zelle/Venmo/GooglePay/PayTm worth the listed Amount or Items (1.2x - STEAM TAX). I will not go first. The link to add me :LINK to ADD ME
 

Crownfall Treasure Chest 3 (Buy 3+ More at 10% / 6+ More at 20% / 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
(Phantom Lancer) Flock of Avilliva	1	25$ or Items	Very Rare Treasure 3	Only ONE
(Jakiro) Barding of Balaur	2	12$ or Items	Rare Treasure 3	One Sold Last Reserved
(Oracle) Prophecies of Pavo	3	7.5$ or Items	Rare Treasure 3	None
(Shadow Fiend) Raven Harvest	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Bane) Tome of Infinite Terror	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Queen of Pain) The Rose of Ristul	5	3$ or Items	Treasure 3	One Reserved
(Mars) Mars Gallus	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Treant Protector) Spina Infernalis	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Death Prophet) Draconic Requiem	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Visage) Grimfeather the Grotesque	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	One Reserved
(Alchemist) Potion Potentate	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None

 

Crownfall Treasure Chest 1 & 2 (Buy 3+ More at 10% / 6+ More at 20% / 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Mocking Bird (Meepo)	4	20$ or Items	Very Rare Treasure 1	None
Ravencloak (Drow Ranger)	3	55$	Very Rare Treasure 2	Two Reserved Last Left
Whispering Wings (Silencer)	6	8$ or Items	Rare Treasure 1	None
Crown of the Condor (Wraith King)	6	8.5$ or Items	Rare Treasure 1	One Sold 5 Left
Thunderbird (Zeus)	5	7$ or Items	Rare Treasure 2	None
Birdfeed Bandit (Hood Wink)	4	8$ or Items	Rare Treasure 2	None
Blood Raven (Blood Seeker)	10	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Tines of the Pyrexae (Jakiro)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Imperial Ember (Lina)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Designs of Ancient Druud (Disruptor)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Verdant Swarm (Nature Prophet)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Phalanx of the Bronze Eagle (Legion Commander)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Raven of Ristul (Queen of Pain)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Eyes in the Endless Dark (Shadow Shaman)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	One Reserved
Crystalline Crown (Ancient Apparition)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Flight of the Gryphon Lord (Keeper of the Light)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Lionheart (Omnikinght)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Song of the Sea Lotus (Naga Siren)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Keeper of the Nether-Lens (Pugna)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Twitcher (Tinker)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Highborn Heretic (Skywrath Mage)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Mischief of the Winter Moth (Puck)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None

 

AUGUST 2023 Collectors Cache (Buy 3+ More at 10%/ 6+ More at 20%/ 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Snailfire (SnapFire)	2	30$	Very Rare Cache Set	One Sold Last Left
Brightfist (Marci)	5	18$	Rare Cache Set	Three Sold Two Reserved
Dezun Viper (Dazzle)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold One Reserved
Primeval Abomination (Primal Beast)	5	7$ or Items	Cache Set	Three Sold
Astral Herald (Dawnbreaker)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Spectral Shadow (Abaddon)	5	3.5$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Taur Rider (Alchemist)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Crescent Huntress (Spectre)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Tyrant of the Veil (Wraith King)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Tomo'kan Footsoldier (Hoodwink)	5	5$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Darkwood Eulogy (Death Prophet)	5	3.5$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Sea Spirit (Kunkka)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Triumph of the Imperatrix (Legion Commander)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Beast of Thunder (Storm Spirit)	5	7$ or Items	Cache Set	Three Sold
Ancestral Heritage (Jakiro)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold

 

Ultra Rare Immortals 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Bloodfeather Finery (Queen of Pain)	1	15$ or Items	Ultra Rare Immortal 2	LastLeft

 

Diretide Collectors Cache-2 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Sublime Equilibrium (Void Spirit)	2	45$ or Items	Very Rare Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold Last Left
Brands of the Reaper (Anti Mage)	5	$18	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold Last Two Reserved
Grudges of the Gallows Tree (Treant)	6	15$	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Five Sold Last Reserved
War Rig Eradicators (Techies)	5	8$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
Sacred Chamber Guardian (Huskar)	5	7$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold One Reserved
Acrimonies of Obsession (Vengeful Spirit)	5	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	One Sold
Freeboot Fortunes (Ogre Magi)	5	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	None
Withering Pain (Clinkz)	5	6$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Darkfeather Factioneer (Phantom Assassin)	5	8$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
Feasts of Forever (Night Stalker)	5	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Cursed Cryptbreaker (Pudge)	5	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Dawn of Darkness Foretold (Doom)	5	10$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
The Wilding Tiger (Brewmaster)	5	11$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Four Sold Last Left
Transcendent Path (Oracle)	5	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Darkbrew´s Transgression (Alchemist)	5	10$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Four Sold Last Left
Grand Suppressor (Silencer)	5	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Bird of Prey (Legion Commander)	5	9$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold One Reserved Last Left

 

Diretide Collectors Cache 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Blue Horizons(Marci)	4	16$ or Items	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Hounds of Obsession (Chen)	3	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Seadog's Stash (Clockwerk)	3	6$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold
Starlorn Adjudicator (Dawn Breaker)	3	11$	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Chines of the Inquisitor (Faceless Void)	3	18.5$	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Reserved
Crimson Dawn (Phoenix)	3	7$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Forgotten Station (Terrorblade)	3	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	None
Dirge Amplifier (Undying)	3	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold
Champion of the Fire Lotus (Monkey King)	3	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Deathstitch Shaman (Witch Doctor)	3	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold

 

Aghanim's Continuum Cache 2021 / Ti-11

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Scales of the Shadow Walker (Phantom Lancer)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Test of the Basilisk Lord (Razor)	4	11.5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Secrets of the Frost Singularity (Ancient Apparation)	4	5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	None
Perils of the Red Banks (Chen)	4	7$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold Last Left
The Chained Scribe (Grimstroke)	4	8$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	One Sold One Reserved
Widow of the Undermount Gloom (Broodmother)	4	9.5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Forgotten Fate (Mars)	4	5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	One Sold
March of the Crackerjack Mage (Rubick)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Cosmic Concoctioneers (Alchemist)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold
Blightfall (Abbadon)	4	8$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold

 

Nemestice Cache 2021 / Ti-11

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Astral Terminus (Enigma)	3	12$ or Items	Nemestice Cache 1	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Caerulean Star (Enchantress)	3	9$ or Items	Nemestice Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left

 -

Collector's Cache 2020 / Ti-10

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Steward of the Forbidden Chamber (TA/Templar Assassin)	3	15$	TI-10 Rare Cache 2	Two Sold Last Reserved
Talons of the Endless Storm (CK/Chaos Knight)	3	7.5$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Carousel of the Mystic Masquerade (Rubick)	3	10$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	Two Sold Last Left
Blacksail Cannoneer (Sniper)	3	7$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	None
Blaze of Oblivion (Phoenix)	3	7$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	None
Songs of Starfall Glen (Enchantress)	3	6$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	None
Flashpoint Proselyte (Huskar)	3	13$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left
Fissured Flight (Jakiro)	3	12$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left
Mindless Slaughter (Pudge)	3	12$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Reserved
Fury of Righteous Storm (Disruptor)	3	6$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	None
Apocalypse Unbound (Ancient Apparation)	3	9$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last left

 

Collector's Cache 2019/ Ti-9

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Prized Acquisitions (Batrider)	4	7$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Two Sold
The sight of the Kha-Ren Faithful (Drow Ranger)	4	12$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold Last Reserved
Directive of the Sunbound(Clockwerk)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Four Sold Last Left
Distinguished Expeditionary (Tusk)	4	7$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Two Sold
Automaton Antiquity (Broodmother)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Four Sold Last Left
Fury of the Bloodforge (Bloodseeker)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
Tribal Pathways (Warlock)	5	8.5$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
Verdant Predator (Venomancer)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
The Arts of Mortal Deception (Enigma)	3	9$	TI-9 Cache Set	Two Sold Last Left
Poacher's Bane (Tidehunter)	3	8$	TI-9 Cache Set	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Riddle of the Hierophant (Oracle)	3	9$ or 3 Keys	TI-9 Cache Set	Two Sold Last Left

 

Collector's Cache 2018/ Ti-8

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Raiments of the Obsidian Forge (Underlord)	4	18$	TI-8 Rare Cache Set	Three Sold Last Left
Pattern of the Silken Queen (Brood)	4	8$	TI-8 Cache Set	Three Sold Last Left

 
https://steamcommunity.com/id/whatsyouraff (DireTide 2022 Oracle Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198063913439 (2021 Gyro, 2020 Huskar, AA, Warlock, Grim Sets Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Mujou64 (Diretide Cache 2 Doom & Venge Sold Successfuly)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/rudmax (2019 Brood Automation, 2021 Shadow Shaman & Enchantress Reserved - Full Payment Made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198064920459 (2023 Rare Marci and Dawn Cache Sold successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Alacaster (2023 AM Ultra Rare, Hoodwink & Dawn Reserved - 14/70 Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Default_panda (2023 Spectre Cache & Mars Wings of Imperium Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/hollywoodsbleeding_ (2022 LC Cache Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041012739 (2022 Phoneix Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/carantis (2023 Jakiro and Dazzle Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198079185431/ (2023 Rare Treant, 2021 Rare Ogre & PL Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/muruph (2017 DP Cache Reserved Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/LovelasStrasti/ (Techies 2022 Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/uziexe/(2020 Timber Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/SemiOfficialAnthonyAdams (Brewmaster and Oracle Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/V3G3TA (2023 - Wk, Primal, Storm, Alche, 2022 - LC, Techies, Alche Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198829952373/ (2023 Kunka Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Darkio567/ (2023 Dawnbreaker Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198176999423 (2022 Brew Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198325291097/ (2023 Rare Marci Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Snaily3000/ (2020 Shadow Demon Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/catgirllyra/ (2023 Rare Marci and Diretide 2022 Hoodwink Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198877138961/ (2023 Dazzle and Aghanim Brood Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198059954390/ (Diretide 2022 Rare Antimage, Huskar, 2021 Grimstroke, 2019 Drow, Chen & Tide, 2018 Axe & QOP Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199173346010/ (2023 Hoodwink Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/LordPlasmarr (2023 WK Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198138951034/ (2023 Primal Beast and Brewmaster Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/waffler99/ (2023 Rare Marci Cache Reserved - 3.5/13.5 Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/vcxxiv (Crownfall Rare WK Cache Sold- Old Customer)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198114702223 (Snapfire Rare, Storm Spirit, Kunkaa, Primal Beast, Silencer Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198051968045 (2020 Pudge Cache Reserved - Full Payment Made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199195274635 (2022 Faceless Void Cache Reserved - Full payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/naptime_/ (2020 TA and 2021 Enigma Reserved - Full payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/GayNoNePida (2x 2022 Rare Antimage Cache Reserved - Full Payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198334003229 (2019 Drow Ranger Cache Reserved - 25% paid advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198176818975/ (2019 CK reserved - Full Payment made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/otafurvasquez/ (Crownfall Super Rare Drow Cache Reserved - 25% payment received advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198031080008 (Crownfall Super Rare Drow and Shaman Cache Reserved -25% Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/reynauld_/ (LC Birds of Prey Reserved - Full Payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/f_s0c1ety/ (Crownfall 3 Rare Jakiro & Visage Reserved - Full Payment Made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198072474418/ (Crownfall Rare Jakiro Sold Successfully Old Customer)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Whitcliffe (Rare 2023 Marci & Rare 2022 Treant - Full Payment Made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198074655812 (2023 Crownfall 3 QOP Reserved - 1.6/3 paid advance)
Wall of Shame:
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199102322625/ (This clown added me and when I asked to reserve which I have clearly stated in my post backtracked on trade offer, has no idea how 30-day steam gifting works so beware)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197974015392/ (The newest Clown in town, Asks to buy legacy items, agrees to pay my listed price then tells me 2 days later about not making the payment because he found these sets for only 2 Dollars each which is not possible. Beware and don't add this person)

This is kind of a long story, but I'm a little lost and very angry, so I'm looking for some help? In my math class, our teacher had us do this thing where we pass around papers with our names on them to the entire class to "anonymously compliment each other." There's not a definite way to know who wrote what. On my friend's slip, someone wrote "f**ck you." Along with that, the words "annoying" and "try hard" were scattered around the paper. While we don't know who did it for absolute sure, there's a boy in our class who trashtalks my friend (she has never talked to him or interacted with him, he complains about how she talks about how smart she is to her friends in math class. I know this because I've heard him first hand.) and is the type of person who would write that. His handwriting matches the writing on the paper. There's no one else in the class who I know hates my friend, and none of the others seem like people who would do that. I'm really mad because that's not okay and I'm really defensive of my friend, especially because he really does not have a reason to hate her that much. I want to confront him, but we only have three days left of school and I don't know if I want to blow anything up for my friend because I don't know how he would respond to a confrontation. I wonder if the thing that would get back at him the most is not giving him any reaction? There's also like a 1% chance that it wasn't him, but I highly doubt it. I was thinking about confronting him in a more roundabout way, and saying something like "did you hear that there were people in math class writing hate messages? Isn't that so middle school and cowardly?" Or something along those lines, because he sometimes walks with me and a friend to class because he's friends with that other friend. Is that stupid, do y'all have any ideas? Any advice would be appreciated, tysm!

Hi. I rarely come on here But I'm driving myself crazy. Please give me your honest opinions.
I've been in an otherwise happy and fruitful relationship with my partner M, for 7 years. We have built a deep emotional and sexual connection. We have been rach other's supports in dealing with certain traumas and life changing events. We have grown together and continue to do so.
Lately I've been going to running class. I started getting to know my classmates better and really got into one of them, D. He seemed nice, always there motivating me, we laughed together and he was really nice. Good friend, or do I thought. Then, I started feeling all of these weird attractions and emotions towards him - butterflies, excitement to see him in class, etc. I'm currently going to therapy (dealing with sexual traumas I've never dived into so much before), so naturally, it came up in my therapy. My therapist talked to me about being true to what I wanted and needed and re-evaluating my feelings about my relationship - maybe there was something I needed to communicate. So I did. I told my partner about it... Not without first feeling that it'd be a good idea to tell D (the running guy) how I felt about him. Now this is important. He was unsure but he reciprocated and then asked me - but I thought you had a boyfriend? (Also of note, I ran a race a couple of days prior to this and I had invited both of them, not yet too confused about stuff, so, while I did not tell him I had a boyfriend, my boyfriend, being MY BOYFRIEND, acted as usual, touching and caring for me). I saw the confusion on D's face, and I saw how my demeanor changed and how I started trying to get to be alone with D, not minding M. So when I confessed I was into him, D of course, was puzzled about M and whether he was my bf or not. I did not intend to do any of this, but now in hindsight realize it was poor judgement from my part (spare me the criticism please). I should've realized I was cooking some kind of feeling when I just didn't tell D about M in the first place. (I usually tell people about him and everything we do - we take pride in some of our ways to be a couple). So, moving along... After I straightup denied the existence of M (my bf), and told D how I felt about him, I told M part of what was going on. I told him I was feeling sexual attraction and tension between me and D (he said he knew, he could observe it) and that I wanted to consider pursuing a sexual relationship with him as a fuck friend - something not at all bew to our relationship - we have explored many things from threesomes, to swinging, to voyeuexhibitionism, to bdsm. There was no conclusion reached that night with M about the situation. Then, the next day, at running class, D and I were all flirty and the tension was intense, flabbergasting, I had never felt this with anyone else other than my bf. We stayed back after class, and I reiterated my feelings towards him. We kissed. Multiple times. I could feel my body beating for his body, for him. I don't know what got into me. My bf, he knew something was up and he asked where I was (he'd been asking the last couple of days because I always stayed back with D and got back home a couple of hours later). He found us, we were just walking around. I was torn. I felt horrible, of course, but I still felt torn. I don't know what the f*ck I felt, what it was, that when my bf (after exposing to D - who of course didn't know anything about M and I being a couple, much less for 7 years - what was going on) and he asked me whether I was coming home to talk or staying with D, I just muttered - IDK. Fuck. So many emotions flood my head now and I cant help but feel like I deserve to be in this much distress. I have never (or had never) cheated or commited such betrayal to any person before. I considered myself to be a person of strong principles and values. But I fucked up. I hurt two people I didn't have to hurt. I don't know what to do because I have love for my bf, but I have feelings for this person as well (not love of course - which would make you think it'd be easy to decide what to do - but it's not!) I can't get D out of my head. I want to kiss him again and let things happen. But at the same time I don't want to lose what we have built and worked for together with M.
I want to scream and am crying my eyes out. I come to you for help, orientation, guidence. I spoke to my therapist and we've already gone to couples therapy once, right the next day after this all went down. We go to the same theraoist for individual and couple's (seemed like it would be more convenient for one guy to know both of us in order to be able to work with us as a couple). He tells us it's an impulse control thing. But slowly throughout the session we realized it's more of a desire, I am more aware of it by now, so if U were to make a choice now it would not be an impulse.
Of importance as well, this all happened within the course of a month, and shit went down this week in a matter of days.
I am scared. I am lonely and ashamed. I am having difficulty xontrolling my emotions.
Please help.
TLDR; in a sexually open-minded relationship for 7 years, met someone sweet and who I'm attracted to, did regretable things that hurt them both and myself including lying and kissing the other person

This month marks six months since my ex (25F) and I (29M) broke up. We had been together for a little over a year, until I found out she had been lying to me so her and her friend (34F) who is also in a relationship, could both go out dancing with other men one night.
I have contemplated posting this story for a long time as the situation still weighs heavily on my mind, she never so much as offered a sincere apology to me and even blamed me for her actions in the end.
This is going to be a long post with 6 months worth of trauma and lingering confusion so readers beware.
For anonymity I'll refer to my ex as "Yesica" her friend as "Jezebel" and her friend's boyfriend as "Eduardo".
This all happened around Halloween of last year, one Friday afternoon she had mentioned to me how she had become mysteriously ill at work and her whole body was aching so she couldn't wait to get home. I found this odd because, one, we were set to go to a Latin Halloween dance cruise on a boat in San Francisco together with her friends the next evening which she had been very excited for the whole month so I knew she wouldn't miss it, and two, because she had displayed a questionable pattern of disappearing the previous two Fridays in a row and texting me back the next day at some ridiculous time like 1pm as if nothing ever happened and we hadn't just gone 24 hours without hearing from each other.
I grew suspicious of this pattern because she had just broken up with me after a night out together the month before as I was crying in my car with her for an hour begging her to let go of a grudge she had been holding against me for 2 months and fix our relationship, then the next morning she sent the most pathetic excuse for saying sorry and that it was for no reason other than that she was drunk, to which I replied "I appreciate your apology" but she didn't respond afterwards and we stayed broken up for 3 more days before she finally said "Let’s just move past this, but this is the last time.” as if she wasn’t the one who broke up with me.
With all of the this in mind, I realized this would be the third Friday in a row that something strange was going on, so I decided to go to her apartment and surprise her with soup from her favorite restaurant and flowers to make her feel better in case she really was sick, or to figure out whether she was really there or not, only to find that her car was nowhere to be seen and there wasn't a single light on in her house.
As I was actually on my way to her house from the restaurant nearby, she texted me around 9pm asking what I was up to so I told her I was just relaxing watching TV so as not to ruin the surprise and asked her the same question, which she didn't answer until 11pm saying "Just chilling too" with sunglasses emojis; after I had already gotten there and waited about an hour and a half seeing that her car wasn't there in the off chance she had gone to her friend's house which was also close by so I could bring the soup and flowers there just in case. Since she was obviously not "chilling" at her house, right away I sarcastically asked "Interesting, what does that entail?" which she surprisingly also quickly replied to saying "Well it entails me being in my warm bed watching movies bc it's f*cking cold and I'm sick" with an extra "Lmao" added at the end.
Knowing now that I was in fact being lied to and possibly even cheated on in my relationship, I threw the soup and flowers in the dumpster behind her house and drove home.
After getting back to my apartment, I didn't hear from her for the rest of the night so I just started drinking Tequila. It had occurred to me that her friend Jezebel who I have heard say she believes she is so sneaky and good at hiding things is a bit silly and follows all of the Instagram pages of the clubs they like to go to, so I checked her following and it didn't take me much longer than 5 minutes to find exactly what I was looking for, but the same club we had went to the night her and I broke up a month earlier just so happened to be having a Halloween Fiebre de Cumbia Party in Oakland that evening, and they had posted a story about 10 minutes after midnight of people doing a group dance with a woman that looked very much like my Yesica. She had a very distinctive hairstyle she would always use with her natural dark hair and the bangs and ends dyed blonde so she could roll it up into two blonde buns on the back of her head, and she had been talking all month about how her and her friend were going to dress up as devils for Halloween so I imagined she would probably be wearing red if she went out. Right away as I viewed the story, my eyes were immediately drawn to a woman with the same hairstyle as Yesica that I described wearing a tight red dress dancing in the group and although the video was blurry I was 90% sure that it was her.
Seeing that I was not only being lied to but that she was there at that very moment and imagining what else that night could possibly lead to and what her intentions were honestly broke me, it made me sick to my stomach and I actually ran to the toilet and threw up the tequila I had been drinking after watching the video. I didn't even have to see her dancing with anybody else to feel utterly betrayed, it was just the fact that I had constantly begged her to spend more time with me throughout our entire relationship as I watched her choose literally everybody and everything else over me and now she was also willing to lie to me because she'd rather spend her time with and get attention from complete strangers instead. It was still early enough in the night that I probably would have drove there myself and caused a scene before they closed, but I was already too drunk to drive so I took one last shot of tequila and went to sleep.
The next day, Saturday, she texted me at 11am saying good morning with a bunch of loving emojis, and I didn't say much to her so as not to raise any suspicions that I knew what she was up to the night before on her end, but told her that I hoped she was having a good morning so far and matched her energy by returning the same emojis and asked her what time she wanted me to get there for the boat dance in SF later that night. To that she replied to me at 2pm saying it had been an early morning for her because as a teacher she had "training" for work which was also unusual for a Saturday, but she had just got done with it, with more sunglasses emojis, and knowing what I knew then that she probably left Oakland around 2am and got home to SF no earlier than 3am, I can almost guarantee you she didn't go to any "training" Saturday morning.
She wanted me to get to her house at 6pm that night, and I was still furious, yet playing it cool over text and when I eventually saw her in person later, even when she miraculously didn't appear to be sick at all. I had every intention of confronting her that same evening, I was going to wait until we got on the boat and it had departed the pier so that she had nowhere to go afterwards, where I imagined that her and her friend would probably ask me to take pictures of them in their costumes and ask me show them how they turned out, before showing both of them the screen recording of the Instagram story from the club the night before to their faces as they looked in confusion and I asked her to explain herself.
Inadvertently, Jezebel's boyfriend Eduardo appeared to have started the drama first that night, before we had even boarded the boat we were all going through security and when it came to be Jezebel's turn they thought she was wearing a backpack so they asked her to spin around but it was actually just the strings on the back of her shirt, Eduardo had thought that Jezebel was just trying to show off her rear to them so he said something along the lines of "Why don't you ask him to feel it so he can see if it's real too?" and this turned into a big argument between them that continued onto the boat and had Jezebel going off and crying as Yesica followed her.
I had gone with Eduardo onto the side of the boat where we spoke briefly as it departed the pier. While we were talking, I asked him if he had been with Yesica and Jezebel the night before and if they went out anywhere as if I was just curious if they did anything fun, to which he answered no, but that he knew that Jezebel said that she had been at Yesica's house that night. Meaning that not only would his statement further contradict what Yesica had told me about being sick, as I doubt Jezebel would be there if she actually was, but that Jezebel had also gone out without Eduardo's knowledge and they had both gone together. After this I looked around to make sure that Yesica wasn't anywhere close by before taking out my phone and showing Eduardo the video of Yesica dancing in the club the night before. I told him that she said she was very sick that night and went home right after work, but when I went to her house to bring her flowers and soup her car was gone and nobody was home. Naturally, he thought this was really weird and immediately asked if I could see Jezebel in the video, but as we both looked and she didn't appear to be in that specific video he began to doubt that it was her because he said that if they had gone out then they would always stick together, which I could say based on our history would probably be true, and I honestly wanted to and started to believe him. I told him about what I planned to do that night and that I didn't know what to do anymore because I knew that if I didn't say anything that this behavior would only continue and I wasn't okay with that either, but he had convinced me that unless I had an undeniably clear video of her where you couldn't say it wasn't her, it probably wasn't worth it, and knowing them, they would probably deny it anyway, so I took his advice and decided to save it for another time.
The issue had still not left my mind however, only now I decided to approach it differently. Halloween was coming up on Tuesday of that week and I asked Yesica what she was doing that day, she said she was going to take Jezebel's three kids trick or treating since Jezebel was taking night classes at college after work and couldn't go with them, so I asked if I could join her because I wanted to see her that night in person. We had a fun time taking the kids out together before dropping them off and going back to Yesica's apartment to talk on the couch. We had a normal conversation for about 30 minutes before I started prodding for information. Since Yesica had told me that she was at home sick Friday night, I casually mentioned that Eduardo was asking about where Jezebel was that night as well on Saturday. She didn't immediately answer the question, but you could tell right away that she got defensive as she went from leaning in towards me the entire conversation to leaning back positioning her head upward as she talked to the ceiling uninterrupted for almost 5 minutes about how "Eduardo just likes to say things to start drama and then gaslights everybody to play the victim" to which I kinda just nodded and said "Hmm." The next thing I asked Yesica was if she had been with Jezebel that night directly, still keeping it casual, as I was trying to determine whether she went out on her own that night or with Jezebel which I honestly would have preferred as opposed to the former cause I thought that at least then they probably would have just danced with each other, and so she couldn't backtrack on any of her statements if one of her answers turned out to be contradictory later, to which she answered "Yeah, we hung out for a bit but not for long because I was sick like I said." so she was still not showing any sings of slipping up in her story. An important thing to note is that Jezebel and Eduardo had been constantly arguing in the weeks leading up to this, it seemed as if every time we all went out together one of them got upset with the other, and it had not shown any sign of getting any better at this point. Knowing this, I asked Yesica that if Jezebel had ever been mad at Eduardo and just wanted to go out without him, would she ever tell me about it, and I assured her that she could and I'd never say a word to Eduardo because the only person I was loyal to was her, and to this she became slightly defensive again. She asked "What do you mean, like hypothetically?" so I said yeah, or just in general, and all she could say to answer was "I mean yeah, I always tell you what I'm doing and what I'm up to." as her look grew increasingly concerned. This led me into my final question, where I asked, so if you were at home sick Friday, and Jezebel wasn't with you either, is there any reason why I might find something on the internet that would lead me to believe that you weren't where you said you were that night?
She pretended to act confused, while still looking concerned, and said "Like what?" so I took out my phone and handed it to her with the video from the Instagram story which I had trimmed down and placed on a loop so that it played only the part showing her in it. She stared at the screen silently for about 30 seconds before finally saying "The Cumbia place?" to which I answered yeah, with somebody who looks just like you, with the same exact hairstyle you have right now, wearing a red dress like you did Saturday night too. I still hadn't blatantly accused her at this point, but I calmly asked her as I started to become choked up myself, "Is that you?" She couldn't look me in the face when she answered, but she shook her head left and right as she continued to stare at the phone and nonchalantly said "That isn't me." before handing it back. I hadn't even told her that I had gone to her house yet, which I did next by saying that it wasn't even until after I went to her apartment and saw that her car was gone and there were no lights on in her house the same time she told me she was laying in bed that I found the video so I asked her to explain that to me, and she tried to play it off by saying “You know how bad parking gets here, I had to park far away that time, but I was in my room before going to bed like I said I was and the lights were on in there.” But I can tell you right now that both of these statements were false, as I drove around the entire block and more to make sure that her car wasn’t there specifically so that I didn’t make any false accusations towards her and I didn’t see it parked anywhere, even in places we parked before when we had gotten back very late at night, there were still plenty of spots available. I also had to walk past the back of her house when I took the flowers and soup I had brought for her to the dumpster, and none of the lights nor a flicker from the tv in her room were visible not even 5 minutes after she had said she was laying in bed watching movies either. I didn't even know what to say at this point, and its honestly hard to remember what happened after that because it was such an adrenaline rush at that moment, I could feel my heart pounding, but I remember asking her "Are you sure? Because if it was just that Jezebel was mad at Eduardo like I asked and you tell me I won't be upset." I honestly would have forgiven her right then and there if she had just told the truth to me, but she swore that wasn't it either and again said she wasn't there as she grew increasingly more defensive and said that it was starting to feel like I was accusing her. I tried to reassure her that I wasn't accusing her, I was just asking, which was why I was there with her now, but it only seemed to make her even more mad. She asked "Is that all you came here for? Why didn't you say anything on Saturday?" to which I answered no, I actually enjoyed the time I was able to spend with her that night, and I was planning on saying something on Saturday, but that would have sounded a lot more accusatory so I took a few days to collect my thoughts. She said something along the lines of it wasn't her and she has always been honest with me one last time, and I told her "Okay, if that's what you say to me, I believe you. But just like you have expectations of me in the relationship, I have the same expectations of you, and if I find out later on that you weren't honest with me, I won't tolerate those things either." We both sat in silence for several minutes later as neither of us had anything else to say, I continued to glance over at her in case she said anything else or had a change of heart after what I had just said, but she just concentrated away from me with a blank stare at the floor. I told her I should probably get going now, so I got up as she walked me downstairs to the door and we didn't even exchange goodbye's or hug or kiss, I just stepped outside and left.
I left knowing full well that she had just lied to my face. Despite the video quality being poor in the Instagram story and what Eduardo had said on the boat, as much as I wanted to believe him, I wasn't stupid either. There were far too many inconsistencies for it not to be true, as much as I wish I would have been wrong, there's no one else that looks like her, and I knew that it was her in the video. I just never thought that she would have lied to me. But I also knew that more information would come out eventually, as it's a monthly event at the club and they always post videos from the previous occasion on their Instagram in the lead up to the next date, so all I had to do was wait.
I texted her goodnight after I had gotten home about 45 minutes later, which I didn't expect her to reply to, but she never said good morning or anything else all day Wednesday either. Thursday also passed without hearing anything from her, so I sent a text to her earlier in the evening before she probably would have been asleep saying "Goodnight, I hope you have a great day tomorrow" and she still didn't respond. Friday passed without hearing anything from her, and eventually on Saturday afternoon I reached out and said "It's been 4 days now, will you please talk to me?" and she answered saying "What so you can take your time when you get pissed but I can't take time to think things over?" I knew exactly what she was doing now.
She was pretending to be fake mad to get revenge for a time where I hadn't talked to her for 3 days after a heated argument 2 months earlier, also revolving around her going out to a club with her friend, except this time it was because it was a Friday afternoon and I had texted her at 2pm asking her how her day was going and what she was doing later because I was hoping we might be able to see each other that evening. 5pm rolls around and she responds "good" to me asking how her day went, but doesn't bother saying anything about what she's doing later. I try to call her a short while after as I'm all cleaned up, dressed, and ready to go just in case we were able to see each other that night and she doesn't answer my call. She never answered my calls in fact, even with her apple watch on her wrist, so I know that she always saw them, but that's beside the point. At 10pm she finally tells me that she's going to an all-girls reggaeton event with Jezebel in SF and sends me the information for the event, which isn't even what bothered me, it was the fact that I asked her those two questions at 2pm and she selectively chose to answer one and not the other almost as if she didn't want me to know about it until she was already there or on her way, and maybe it was my fault for assuming we might see each other on a Friday night like couples in a serious relationship typically do and we had consistently been doing, but I felt like an idiot sitting around in my house for 8 hours waiting to get a response to a simple question from her and couldn't even get her to answer or return my call. I was frustrated to say the least, but not mad, so I just let her do her own thing and went to sleep for the night.
The next morning, I told her that I really didn't appreciate her not telling me what her plans were until it was so late in the evening, especially when she had saw my messages and responded to one and not the other, I reiterated to her that I literally wouldn't have cared if she had told me earlier, I would have told her go ahead and have fun, but the fact that she didn't made me think that she feels she needs to hide things from me. I don't know why, but this immediately caused her to blow up. She responded viciously saying that it was because they were last minute plans, but that she doesn't need to ask for my permission to do anything, and that she had no reason to hide anything from me, if anything, if she would have known that I would have been bothered by it she would have never told me about it at all. I was dumbfounded by this response and admittedly went on the offense myself. I clarified to her that at no time have I ever told her that I want her to ask for permission before doing anything, nor did I expect it at any time in the future, I even sent a screenshot of the text I had sent immediately before highlighting the part where I said I literally wouldn't have cared if she had just told me earlier, and then went on to explain that the reason why I asked her what she was doing later was because I wanted to see her that evening, I wasn't just asking her for no reason at all, and I dedicated my weekends entirely to her so I just thought it would have been a common courtesy to tell somebody you're in a relationship with on days you usually spend time together that you may have plans that would mean otherwise.
To which all she said was "Ok."
Ok? Ok, what? Ok, you understand? or Ok, you don't give a f*ck? because I couldn't tell anymore. This drove me completely over the edge. I had never felt so disregarded by any woman I had ever dated in my life. It was like every time I expressed my feelings or concerns to her in the relationship she took it as a personal attack and was completely incapable of constructive communication, and she did this every time. I was honestly ready to just tell her "You know what, this isn't gonna work out anymore" or say something else that would have hurt her feelings. But I did not want to do that. I literally did not have anything good to say to her for 3 days until I had collected my thoughts, so I just didn't say anything at all. But neither did she, and on the third day I had finally calmed myself down and apologized to her saying that I was sorry if what I had first said came off as accusatory. She on the other hand was still enraged so we went back and forth a bit for a few more days as I tried to deescalate the conflict until we eventually settled and went on a trip to Las Vegas the following weekend.
So this is why she ignored me for 4 days after confronting her about lying to go to the club with her friend, and seeing as how everything I had suspected turned out to be true, she had no reason to do this other than to get revenge for the time I didn't talk to her for 3 days when I was actually upset with her.
When she did finally talk to me after the 4th day of purposefully ignoring me, she tripled down on her position, saying "I'm not going to be telling you every single thing that I'm doing or who I am with, or where as if you're my mom/dad. As for your accusations, if you don't trust me that's your issue I can't help you there. At this point in the relationship, I think you should know what kind of person I am and if you don't like it then we can stop this because I am not changing who I am just to make people or you happy." This was the moment I realized that she really just didn't care at all, like even if she didn't hadn't lied to me, which she did, why go out of your way to say such a thing to someone you supposedly say you love. I tried to play it off and sent an agreeable message in appeasement, "I believe your word that is enough. I never asked you to do anything differently and you didn't do anything wrong so I don't see any reason why you would have to change anything about yourself. So long as we're still holding each other accountable to the same values we agreed upon when we established our relationship I don't see any problem here. Like you've always said, just don't do anything you wouldn't want me doing, or that will be the end of that for me too." I was honestly still willing to let the whole thing slide just this one time, even at this point. My relationship with her meant too much to me to let it go over what I still had hoped was just another girl's night out, although the damage to trust built within our relationship had still been done. I was willing to look past it so long as I didn't learn more such as if she had been dancing with another man.
Two weeks passed and everything had returned to normal, she was being nice to me again, we were seeing each other regularly, and we had just spent a few days together over Veteran's day weekend. I continued checking the Instagram page of the club every night as the next event was coming up that Friday. One Wednesday night around 7pm, the club had posted a video to their page, this was a professionally edited video uploaded in high quality this time and not just a story. In this video, I was able to see Yesica perfectly clear. She was facing toward the camera, I could make out all the features of her face, there was no way you couldn't say it wasn't her, and she was with another man. My heart sank immediately. The video must have replayed about 10 times as I watched in disbelief. Jezebel was in the video too, and she was dancing with another man that wasn't Eduardo. I screen recorded the video, trimmed it, zoomed it, enhanced it, and put it on a loop so that it focused on Yesica as I had done before. I saved it to my phone as I contemplated which actions to take next.
This was the red line for me. Yesica had crossed it. To those unfamiliar with Cumbia, it is a form of dancing that could be considered as Latin social dancing such as salsa and bachata. There are group dances, cordial dances, and couple's dances. What she was doing was not the dance where everybody dances in a circle, this was the couple's dance where they had their hands on each other's backs and waists, bodies close together facing each other, and everything. I had been to that same club with Yesica as I mentioned before myself and there is lots of alcohol, flashing lights, and the music is loud. There are some people who might say that Cumbia is an innocent form of dancing and they wouldn't care if their partner danced with another person which I could understand, to each their own, it didn't bother me when Yesica danced with someone else on occasions that I had accompanied her either and it did happen, I didn't like it, but I was unbothered because I was there. But one thing I can tell you about the men who go to such events is that I can guarantee you there is not a single one there that goes just because they like to dance Cumbia, and it is not a situation I would be comfortable with my significant other placing themselves in alone, especially in an environment like that. I know for a fact that Yesica would not have been okay with it if I had done the same to her because we explicitly stated during a conversation at the beginning of our relationship establishing our boundaries and expectations that we didn't want each other alone with someone of the opposite gender while either of us wasn't around, in fact she was the one who said this herself, and she broke those promises that we had made to each other.
And that is the entire principle of this post, contrary to what Yesica and Jezebel would have themselves believe, I didn't come to the decision that I made because she chose to go out dancing one time, I got there based on the fact that she lied to me to do it. She showed me that she was willing to lie to me to do things I wouldn't be okay with behind my back, she was willing to lie to me so she could spend an entire evening with a whole other man, and she was willing to lie to my face when I had asked her for the truth. Knowing what she did the first time that I had confronted her, I didn't have any reason to believe that going to her house and talking about it a second time would end any different. There was no scenario where I imagined her taking accountability for her actions and sincerely apologizing, she had never done it once before, otherwise I probably would have gave her another chance. She always blamed me, every time that I had expressed my concerns to her before she found a way to make it my fault and ended up manipulating me into making me be the one who had to apologize for bringing it up in the first place, and I just couldn't imagine myself doing that one more time, not for this. So I decided to break up with her.
I sent her the video along with a short text "Hey Yesica, I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. Say what you want to turn this around on me or make it my fault somehow but I can clearly see that that's you with another man and I don't even care enough to argue about it with you I'm just done. I was honestly hoping to get a ring and propose to you soon but I couldn't imagine myself marrying a woman who makes up stories to go out clubbing behind my back and then lies to my face when I ask about it, you knew exactly what you were doing and I know it wasn't a mistake so this is the result. I'll let you go now so you can continue running around doing whatever you want since that's obviously more valuable to you. Good luck with your life I guess." As the message said delivered, I broke down and began wailing.
This was one of the worst pains I ever had to experience in my life, despite all our differences, I did deeply love her unlike anybody else I had ever loved before, and I was planning on proposing to her only a month later on an international trip to Mexico we had planned together over Christmas. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, and this was the first time I ever had to be the one who had to let go of the person they still loved.
I didn't hear anything from Yesica at all after that. Not a sorry, not an I understand, not a I respect your decision, nothing. But I don't blame her.
As time went by, it was still the only thing that occupied my mind. I knew Yesica wouldn't talk to me, nor should I reach out to her at that time either, but I still had questions I sought answers for, I just wanted to know why. So I decided to reach out to Jezebel. We went back and forth a bit as she blamed me for the break up, saying things could have ended differently if I had just talked to her in person, but I let my emotions get to me instead. She didn't appear to be aware that in reality I had done just that and talked to her in person 2 weeks before while giving her every opportunity and more to tell the truth, as I would have preferred because I would have forgiven her if she had just been honest with me, but she chose to lie. As I told her this and continued to ask for the reasoning behind all of it which she had been refusing to answer all she could say was "I don't know, maybe she was scared of losing you, but again you chose to act out of your emotions, and it was just dancing, so what, I don't know what else you want me to say you acted wrong and now you're talking to me, oh well" I was beginning to lose my patience with Jezebel. But after refuting her claims and pushing a bit more the truth seemed to finally come out, I had mentioned that I had been getting advice from Eduardo on the situation prior to the break up as well as I had shown him the first video that only had Yesica in it and she quickly answered "First of all don't involve Eduardo in this conversation, he didn't know we went, that's another story, my story." So it would seem that my suspicions surrounding the idea that they had gone because she was just mad at Eduardo were true.
This changed my perspective on everything. I did end up sending a long drawn out message to Yesica apologizing for the way which I handled things and explained every reason why I made the decision I did, and that I understood if she had not wanted to reconcile either, but I never heard anything back from her.
It was now late December and had been two weeks since I had spoken to Jezebel last and I had still not heard anything from Yesica. I was now mad at Jezebel as I saw this whole situation being her fault more than anyone else's at this point, I still had more I had to say to her. I messaged her one day saying "Hey what's up Jezebel, hope you're doing good. Quick question, if going out and dancing with other men is no big deal like you say it's not and Eduardo doesn't care, why didn't you just tell him Hey Eduardo I'm gonna go dance with other men tonight, it's no big deal right? Just curious" This pissed her off having her say "OMG really? Please stop trying to blame others for your actions, the issue is not me dancing it's you and your decisions not me" but I was prepared for it so I ripped into her. “I’m not blaming anyone for my actions, yes I take responsibility for what I did. And what I did was hold Yesica responsible for her lying. Because your friend is not the only one who didn't do anything wrong. And all that you've told me from all the messages that you sent me is that you basically think it's okay to lie. Because you have completely failed to acknowledge that fact this whole time. The problem is not my reaction, the problem is your friend’s dishonesty and I'm sure any other self respecting man with a backbone wouldn't tolerate that either. And that is the problem that I have with you, because for whatever reason you wanted to go out I'm sure it was your idea for Yesica to tell me a bullsh*t story that night. And the problem is not that I won't tolerate a liar, the problem is the only person who hasn't taken responsibility for their actions is your friend. She is not the victim in this situation because she did this to herself.” To my surprise it silenced her.
3 hours later, even more to my surprise, I hear from Yesica for the first time since the break up saying “I’m reaching out to you to have some closure and to say sorry for how things came about, l didn't know how to deal with things and it was my fault for lying. You are a good person, you were nice to me and I truly wish you the best and I hope you find the person that deserves you. And please do not bring in anyone else into how the situation ended, we are both responsible and I wish you nothing but the best. I kindly ask to leave things as is I need time to process all this but I truly wish you the best.” Given that I had just been barking at Jezebel and this sorry was not as sincere as I hoped or believed I deserved as it was likely only to get me to leave Jezebel alone, I took it as the best I would probably ever get from her and said “Thank you for finally saying something to me Yesica, I accept your apology and I forgive you for all that has happened. I will respect your wishes to leave Jezebel and Eduardo alone and give you some time and space to yourself. Maybe I'm the one who's naive, but I still love you and hope we can find a way to make it back to each other. I agree that things should be left as they are for the time being and if we were to work things out a serious conversation needs to be had about how we will move forward, but I will leave that up to you to decide if or when that ever happens. You can always reach out to me and I’ll still have your contact saved in my phone, take care”
3 months after the break up in February, I can't help but reach out to Yesica one more time. I still loved her and missed her so much, I just wanted to know why she made the choices she did and sought real closure myself. I sent her a short message asking "Hey Yesica, can we talk?" I'm not upset or looking to debate you, I just want to know some of the reasons behind why you did what you did. Was it just me? Did you just not care anymore? It's the only thing that's been on my mind after all of this time" Sadly, she took up the same position as Jezebel saying “Hi, first of all you are the one who broke up with me. You let your emotions get to you instead of talking about it in person. After that happened, it got me thinking about everything we went through. We both made bad choices that lead to this situation, after you broke up with me it made me reflect on how things fell apart and it got too overwhelming for both us, you were the one who made the last decision and that's where we are now. Instead of trying to figure me out… figure out your thoughts and decisions...” And that's where things been left ever since then, we both have each other blocked on everything.
I personally feel like as though I obviously could have handled things better than I did, but ultimately made the right decision in breaking up regardless of the manner in which I did it, and all of my friends and family have come to an agreement with me, that if she wants to party and act single, she deserves to be single. I just know someone who actually loved me never would have done any of those things she did to me. Even I would never consider doing such a thing to her, I would be completely disgusted with myself. Nor did I ever do anything to her that was even remotely close to this. I was the sweetest person I could be to her and went above and beyond to make her happy because that’s when I was happiest. When she expressed herself I was caring and attentive, and when I expressed myself it was always my fault. But it's just sad because I was her first boyfriend that she had ever had before, so I never would have imagined something like this of a girl like her. I just see that as straight up disloyalty, and would personally even consider it as essentially cheating. But I don’t blame her entirely, I see this as her friend's fault more than anything, I just wish she would have chosen better examples to follow. Despite what all of my friends and family have said towards the contrary, she is still the one who said it was my fault and unfortunately it has been her opinion which has weighed heavily on me the most. Some days I find myself asking if it really was my fault and even find myself believing it. But I wanted to know what Reddit thinks so that's why I am here.
TLDR:
My ex girlfriend lied about being sick one night so she could go out to the club with her friend
I found out about it via an Instagram story and calmly confronted her about it in person a few days later
She lied to my face when I showed her the Instagram story from the club and said that it wasn’t her
She proceeded to not talk to me for 4 days and pretended to be fake mad just to get revenge
When she did finally talk to me, she tripled down on it saying if I didn’t trust her that was my problem, but she’s not changing herself to make me or anybody else happy and if I didn't like it we could just break up
Two weeks later another video from the club gets posted in much higher quality than the story where you can not only clearly see that it is in fact her, but it was her doing a couples dance with another man
I send her the video immediately after its posted and instead of driving an hour to her house to be gaslit, manipulated, or blamed again like she did before and many times in the past, I break up with her over text
3 months later I reach out to my ex for closure trying to get an explanation for her actions and she offers none, saying the break up was my fault because I didn't talk to her in person and communicate when in reality I had done just that 2 weeks prior to breaking up and she chose to lie and play games instead
AITAH?

Good morning everyone - I was the chick (f34) that was complaining about my bf (m50s) who got angry that I "choose dnd over" him.
For those who messaged me concerned for my safety, its not been that sort of situation. I am safe and okay and we do not live together at all. I have my own place, a great Dane, a Rottweiler, a Labrador, and very close friends who are protective of me.
But at karaoke, "Adam" asked me soon after my post if I considered how I would make it up to him. I was fortunately very calm and explained to him that this is a job that pays some of my bills and something I really enjoy as well. I said I was a lucky woman to have something I enjoy pay me and that I would not give that up.
He argued that I was being unreasonable and that relationships take work and I am being lazy - he then said anyone would agree with him. So I showed him my last post as my song came on and went up to sing it. When I came back to our table, he wasn't there. He had taken his stuff and left.
I took that as the answer it was and didn't bother to reach out. A few days later he left me a voice mail stating that I did not even try to reach out to him and he needs someone who cares. He called me heartless and a stuck up witch (with a b).
I was confused by this but didn't respond other than an "okay". I figured that would be the end of it. We tried out dating and it didn't work so...?
But the next time I was at our mutual bar, my best friend who is the lead bartender said he was there hours before drunk and complaining about me and said I cheated on him and then forced myself on him saying no can have him byt me once when i was drunk. This never happened. I explained what happened and showed her my post and she has been helping clarify with people at the bar but it was quite an accusation so I asked a friend of his at the bar. He showed me a text where Adam said he would try to ruin my life by asserting I was abusive. It wasn't in that wording but that was the idea of it. His friend sent me the screenshots and apologized to me saying he never thought Adam would go that far.
I didn't do anything for a few day and soon after it was karaoke night again and I showed up. Adam arrived about an hour after and came up to me and asked me if I had reconsidered my treatment of him. I barely looked at him and said I wasn't here for drama. He was clearly already drunk looking for apologies. So I just hung with my friends and ignored him. He started screaming every time I went up "There's a cheater." Or "look out boys, she's a lying whre", or "that's my gf but she'll fck you anyway apparently" etc. He ended up being kicked out for the day and given a 90 day ban.
I've blocked him on everything and been told by management that they are in my corner so I guess that's that. It's the weirdest dating experience of my life but I suppose you gotta have some crazy eventually. In any case my bisexuality definitely took a hard gay turn for a bit lmao.

Long story short: I am a US citizen male who taught in South Korea for 6 months 2 years ago at a govt funded after school hagwon owned by the mayor of a small city. After being fired, I returned home to the US at the recommendation of my lawyer and worked odd jobs via a temp agency.
Recently, I got a job offer from a local school district near my home to work as a sports aide to watch the students during summer camp hosted at a local school district for low income kids and make sure they're safe. I accepted and currently undergoing employee training.
What job/career options should I pursue here in the US that I can utilize my TEFL skills that I learned in Korea? Skills I learned in Korea were creating lesson plans, making up PPT presentations, walking students to their parents in the front of the school safely, creating classroom games like pin the tail on the tiger and indoor golfing, and creating/grading worksheets.
I don't have a teaching license as I have a Bachelor's degree in an unrelated field that I have no more interest with, but I do have a completed 120 hour online TEFL course, a 30 hour teaching young learners certificate, and am CPR certified. Any ideas?

I've been in successful therapy for many years as an adult after years and years of demeaning and harmful therapy as an adolescent. Reintegrating into therapy was hard, because I'd heard so many things before and had to come at it from new angles. Otherwise, my mind would just dismiss it.
The other day I was watching a documentary about sexual abuse (I won't go into details). You could tell it was created by a woman, and she designed it for if a survivor watched it. It was actually really therapeutic. I went through a lot of feelings while listening to the stories and the psychologists' reactions and explanations to events and family dynamics.
I realized that a splintering took place when I was a kid. I was neglected as a child, but from a public standpoint, I had a good family. I had a big family that was close-knit, but it wasn't a safe space. I wasn't physically abused and my parents weren't addicted to drugs, so I always chalked up my problems to oversensitivity. Lots of bad things happened to me as a teenager and young adult, and I was treated with disdain by the people who were supposed to be there to help me. Due to neglect and isolation, I didn't have a well-rounded background to the world. I wasn't socialized properly (was kept out of school). Then as a teenager, my self-identity splintered. I was being treated with disgust by the people who loved me, so in order to make it make sense logically, I became disgusting. There had to be something bad about me to make them react that way.
I realized that so much of BPD for me has been f*cking confusion. Am I evil? Am I a victim? The "swings" are just acting out this script. I live up to expectations and the expectations were low. If someone loves me, I act out the bad to test it. Subconsciously, being despised is more comfortable. It is what I experienced from caregivers. A splintering occurred when I did not know my place in the world and how to navigate society properly, and then I was abused by a man twice my age and not protected by my family. I was blamed and treated with disgust and shame. I had to settle for the exchange of my self-worth to fit their view of me, that it was my fault and I was messed up, in order to have peace. Deep down I always fought it privately - playing out my fights with them in more safe relationships, like with my partner, who 1) wouldn't break up with me and 2) then learned to dislike me which felt more normal. As we've healed, I've found that it's uncomfortable to not be intensely disliked and flying into a rage to protect myself and then self-loathing when I overreact.
Again, looking back, I see BPD is soo much about confusion. I feel the threat of danger, but have no idea where it's coming from exactly. I'm just on edge. I've constantly tried to morph to make it make sense. Be bad so I fit the narrative. Be self-righteous and grandiose because that narrative hurts. Screw everyone, I just need to protect myself. Wait, no, f*ck, don't abandon me (my parents tried to sign me over to the state when I was a teenager). But they were this respected church family, so it made no sense. Anyways, this helped me to realize and have more compassion for myself. Maybe it will help you.

TW: mention of abuse, neglect
Hi All,
I am almost 30, female, in a stable and wonderdully healthy relationship which helped and helps me heal a tonne.... but as it comes where I heal other, older scars are resurfacing.
Nowadays the topic of children is frequently upcoming, I can't wait to have my little lovegoblins too. ( this is relevant to the question)
But. As this sub predicts I come from a not exactly healthy family. I am 30F, my sisters are 34F ( twins). If I would put a picture here from our teens, preteens you would think we are triplets..... which meant we wore the same.... everything. Perhaps not the shoes. We shared tshirts, trousers, jumpers, coats... underwears.... when I came to my teens and started to have more sense of boundaries etc there were frequent fights because I wanted my own set of things. My boobs were - obviously - smaller than my sisters so when they wore MY bras they streched out and I couldn't wear them anymore. I hated the idea of wearing the same panties but we were poor and they didn't give a flying f.ck of my "odd" boundary.
My mom? She said I am selfish and should share my things. I literally started to wear thongs until they moved out because they didn't like them (22+).
To the question: at a certain point I hopefully will have two girls with similar bodieshapes which can make it hard to separate their wearables. I literally have 0 experience how to respect their ownership(?) Privacy(?) Boundary(?) I don't even know the word of it.....
What is the HEALTHY way to keep them separated? Embroider their monogram to the backs?
How should U have been grown up in this case? Of course I don't want them to walk through my path.... but what is the normal path?
Was this abuse? Neglect?
Tl;dr: how to keep my fictional daughters laundry separately?

*Throw-away account*
This might be pretty long winded, but I feel that for everyone to really understand the whole story, I have to share the WHOLE. STORY. Hoping to receive some good advice to clear my mind about the whole matter.

For some back story:
I have this friend, let’s call her Anna (23F). I met her 1.5 years ago when I moved in with her boyfriend and some of his friends. This was all very wholesome – I'm not that girl. I was in a tough spot trying to find somewhere to live, and they needed a roommate. I asked her before moving in if it was okay, and she was very cool with the idea.
At the time of me moving in I didn’t know her very well, but we very quickly became best friends. While I was living there, her boyfriend – let's call him Mark (23M) - emotionally cheated on Anna and broke up with her. This was a bit of a messy situation, since I was good friends with both of them. They got through it, I was able to support them both through it all without angering either one of them, and they were able to come out of it as friends.
One thing I also think is important to note as some background info is that Mark and Anna are totally fine in their friendship to this day, but this brings up some issues as well. They started sleeping together again pretty shortly after the break-up and it's been an ongoing thing since (to each their own, I'm not judging). The one thing I find slightly relevant is that whenever our friend group goes out to the bar, if Mark shows up, Anna's attention turns entirely to him, and vice versa with him to her. He flirts with her openly, and she flirts right back. After a night out, Anna would often bring up that Mark is quite flirty with her and that she wonders if he regrets messing things up with her. This kind of got on my nerves because it seemed as though she wasn't acknowledging that she was flirting back. I've brought this up to her and she insists that she's not flirting, she's just being nice. In these moments I've agreed with her, thinking that if she isn't intending to flirt, and is truly just being kind, then I guess it's not flirting (even though it seemed very much like flirting. Like, eyes on each other, no one else exists for the entire evening, just them type vibes).
Anna is a very kind person. She's very bubbly and outgoing. In the short time I’ve known her she’s never immediately judged a person based on appearances alone. She's the type of person who would accept a drink and a dance from a 3/10 at the bar, even though she's tall and gorgeous and a 12/10, to put it bluntly. Another thing I learned about Anna, at least from my perspective, is that she loves being the center of attention. She tends to be loud and very involved with everyone all at once. This is cute and charming most of the time, as she's always checking in on, vibing with, and involved with everyone at the function. It has started to get on my nerves here and there, but that’s my own problem, I know. I'm also quite bubbly and high-energy, but my social battery runs out from time to time, and the loud speaking and constant attention becomes a bit draining. Anna tends to be oblivious to social queues. She doesn’t seem to notice when someone is drained and doesn’t realize she should give them space. I should communicate this, I know, so I don't blame her for me being emotionally spent from time to time.

Now to the present.
Anna and I became very close with two other girls from our friend group, and we became a bit of a little “squad”, if you will. Our city's hockey team is in round 3 of the NHL play offs, and we've been attending "watch parties" that our city puts on. Nearly every watch party, it's been a blast.
Flash forward to last weekend. I matched with a guy on a dating app, let’s call him Gregg (24M), and we've been talking for nearly two months. Nothing super in depth, but we've been hitting it off it seems. I messaged him the other day while the girls and I were getting ready to head out to a watch party and asked if he was going. He said he was! One of my friends (can't recall who) asked if he was coming with any single friends. I asked and he said he had two friends who were "single and horny." Wonderful. There's three of us, three of them (our fourth friend moved to another city RIP). My two friends even went as far as to check out the snap he sent and pick between his two friends he took a selfie with. I will note here that both my friends commented on how HOT this guy that I'm talking to is, but they choose which of his friends they'll focus on for the evening either way.
We get to the watch party and grab a table and they meet us soon after. Things are going well at first. Gregg is laying the moves and I'm loving it. Then things start to turn. We all get a bit tipsy. He's a very loud and outgoing person, I'm learning quickly. I am too, so that's not too big of an issue. Then he starts making flirty comments to both of my friends, and I start realizing this guy is a player. But the liquor is flowing and I’m ignoring these red flags hardcore. This is when Anna starts warming up to these three strangers that have joined us, and is starting to become her usual, attention grabbing, high-energy happy self.
Where things turn is when Anna mentions that she has no gag reflex. She mentions this loudly, and Gregg turns all his attention to her, mentioning how that's hot. Gregg has commented multiple times at this point on how horny he is - usually directed to the group, but I have been taking this as a nudge at me, since we had had conversations that have gotten a bit hot and heavy over snapchat in the weeks prior. Yes, I did find it a bit obnoxious that he was shouting this to the group when he just met the three of us, and him and I had an online "thing" for weeks. I just brushed it off and decided to live in a fantasy land where these red flags don’t exist (I'm a dumb bitch I know). I'm bothered in the moment by Anna's gag reflex comment but play if off as her being oblivious or just seeking attention, and think to myself that she wouldn't openly flirt with the guy I like. Throughout the evening she proceeds being her usual chatty self, but it seems to me like her attention is turned mainly to Gregg. It's rubbing me the wrong way, but in her defense, he is being loud and outgoing and what is she supposed to do? Ignore him? Except I start thinking about how my other friend isn't entertaining Gregg's flirty comments and is still staying a part of the conversation all the same. So I am getting bothered by the way she’s acting. This isn’t to say he’s done nothing wrong. He’s being the worst, but I expect more from my best friend, y’know?
At one point during the evening Gregg bumps Anna's two-week-old piercing and she cries out that it hurt. For some reason he chooses to bump it again, and she yells at him (in an astonished, funny way, not an angry way). He apologizes and tries to convince her to hit him back. They go back and forth about how she won't hit him, and he insists she does. More flirting, me getting increasingly bothered.
Later Gregg asks the group about anal, and who's tried it. Anna replies (almost too eagerly) about how she's done a lot of anal. I make a joke about how I've never done it and how that's a husband privilege in my books. Gregg's attention is entirely on Anna at this point, as it has been for a lot of the evening, and she seems to be loving it. She replies eagerly to everything he says, and he does the same for her. I’m feeling very hurt at this point by the way Anna is entertaining Gregg when it's obvious that he's been flirting with her. I can't help but think that if the roles were reversed, I'd reply to her man's attempts at flirting very dryly, or not at all. But then I remember that in Anna's eyes, she's just being nice.
After the game we all go back to my friend's house. At this point I am quite frustrated by the lack of attention I'm receiving from Gregg, and hurt that Anna seems to be inviting his attention without hesitation. I'm stewing over the fact that Anna seems more interested in my man than she does in the one she said she though was cute from the photo. Throughout the evening she had mentioned how cute and funny Gregg's friend was, and yet seemed to give Gregg all her attention, and his friend the scraps.
I then decided to take matters into my own hands. I chose not to pull Anna aside and hash out how I'm feeling, as I believed there was a deeper conversation to be had. I could see her responding the same way she did when I mentioned that she was flirting with her ex, Mark. "I'm not flirting I'm just being nice." I didn't want to fight about it in the middle of a party, so instead I invite Gregg to the bathroom hoping to get a lil' makeout sesh (oooOOoo). We enter the bathroom and as I'm closing the door Anna busts in, despite me trying to close the door, and directs Gregg to leave the bathroom. I'm saying "No, Anna. No, Gregg, stay. Anna, out." But she proceeds to shove him out, close, and lock the door. At this point I boil over. I shout, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and Anna looks startled. I yell about how I'm obviously trying to get a moment alone with the guy, what made you decide to bust in and push him out. She yells back "DON"T SHOUT AT ME!" A couple more words may have been spoken, I can't recall, but then she leaves, and Gregg comes back in. We do our thing, then he leaves, and Anna comes back in. I apologize for shouting, and we hug. She apologizes for busting in, and says "I can be so oblivious, you have to lay it out for me!" I'm still bothered, mind you, but did not want to get into it tonight. I'm stewing the rest of the night about why she came into the bathroom. Was she trying to get back in Gregg's eye? Was she trying to keep me from having alone time with him? Is she that in need of attention? Or was she truly just oblivious?
The night ends with Gregg and I sharing a bed in a private room. He tries to initiate s*x with me, but I tell him no, since I wasn't very impressed with him at that point (but I have not portrayed any signs of this to him). The next morning as I'm leaving for work, everyone is hanging out in the living room (part-timers). Gregg comes into the bathroom while I'm changing and gives my butt a slap. Seems like he's still into me.
At work that day I received a message from Anna in the girls group chat about how Gregg messaged her and apologized for hitting her piercing. She goes on about how it's so sweet that he apologized, and about how funny that was the night before. The second I see this I get this bad feeling in my gut. I've never brought a guy I wasn't already exclusive with around Anna before, so I had nothing to go off of, but my gut told me that he was going to keep messaging her. I couldn't blame her for this - it's blatantly clear at this point that this guy is a mega flirt. What I felt so uneasy about is that I knew deep down that Anna was going to reply and hold a conversation with the guy. I knew deep down that she would flirt with him, but then if I were to ever find out, she would backpedal and say she's just being nice. I vented to some other friends about my worries, and they confirmed to me that I wasn't crazy, and that this was not okay for a friend to do. I intended to call her up one of the days following and chat with her about my frustrations from that night, but she beat me to it.
She texted me today, three days after the watch party night, and asked if she could call me to “tell me a story.” I knew immediately that it probably had something to do with Gregg. We get on the phone, and she starts the conversation by asking where my head is at with this Gregg guy. I answer that he seems like a flirt, but that we're still talking, and I would like to see where it goes. She then proceeds to tell me that he made moves on her and asked her out.
I am obviously hurt at this point and trying to decide how to proceed. She was vocal at the watch party, and earlier when I'd show my friends photos of this guy, that she thought he was so hot.
She goes on over the phone about how Gregg played it like him and I weren't pursuing anything serious, and how she wasn't sure if he was telling the truth and she wanted to see where my head was at. She's begun playing if off like she's letting me know for my own good that this guy is a player and not good for me. I'm not sure at this point if I believe her. I feel like, based on the way she started the conversation, if I had told her he means nothing to me she would have asked if it would be okay if she went out with him. I feel like she's not being totally honest with me.
I decided to test the waters by asking her to send me screenshots of the conversation. The first time I ask she hesitates, then says she would read the convo to me. I can tell based on the way she's reading it that she's leaving things out. Our conversation continues, and she mentions that if I'm not serious about him, he would be fun to have around the friend group, and that we could introduce him to the guys. I tell her that he doesn't deserve to meet our friends.
I eventually ask a second time for her to send the screenshots to me. She expressed that she's hesitant to send me the screenshots, because last time a guy flirted with her and a friend of hers at the same time, she sent the screenshots and her friend sent them to the guy and there was a lot of unnecessary drama. She asks if I'll send them to him and I tell her that I don't know how I'm going to proceed yet. All I know is that I'm hurt. I did like this guy, and after the shit show of the weekend, he seemed like he liked me too (once again, I’m a dumb bitch). She moves on from the screenshots and we continue chatting.
I finally pull the trigger and mention that I was bothered by the way she was acting that evening. I mention that she's talking to the guy I like about how she has no gag reflex, and about how she loves anal. She counters by saying that she said the gag reflex thing to Gregg's friend, and that Gregg just happened to overhear. She defends the anal thing by saying that Gregg asked the whole group, so she just answered. I leave it at that because she was getting heated, and all I could focus on right now was making sure she was in the mood to send me those screenshots.
Finally, I ask for them a third time, "so that I can show my sister." I definitely know that something fishy is going on at this point. She finally says she'll send me the screen shots but asks me to "keep in mind that they may seem flirty, but I was trying to 'play detective' for you. I was trying to keep him replying so I could get evidence to show you later." I agree to keep that in mind and reassure her over and over again that I'm not mad at her, and that I'll read these screenshots with a grain of salt - lots of which wasn't true, I just HAD to get those screenshots (yes, I know, I gaslit her. Not a good look). She says she'll send them to me, and we get off the phone.
Then the screenshots get delivered. From the gate she is very friendly with the guy, even when his first couple messages include winky faces and flirtatious jabs. Then her messages start including winky faces and the flirty works. I'm reading these just completely bewildered that she would ever think this would pass as "playing detective on my part." I also started realizing that these messages are over Instagram, meaning that if someone were to delete a message from the chat, it leaves no indication of such. I'm beyond angry and hurt at this point, reading messages from him saying that he wished he could've been making the moves on her all evening over me. She asks Gregg what the deal is with him and I, he says we were just fooling around and that there's no future there. He asks what she's looking for, they agree that they're both not looking for a relationship, but if it happens it happens. Lots of smiley faces and winky faces exchanged.
The screenshots end and Anna texts me saying he asked to hang out this weekend, and she quotes what she said back. “(My Name)’s my girl and I don’t feel like you’re being honest in saying there’s nothing goin on between yall, or at least you haven’t had that conversation with her.” I'm wary of this because rather than sending me the screenshot, she chose to type out what she said. I don't reply as I'm processing everything, and she messages me again giving him the benefit of the doubt as a single guy, not tied down to anything, but admits it was scummy to go after two girls who are friends.
At this point I'm considering a couple things; (1.) how she started the conversation by asking me how I felt about him, (2.) how she wouldn't send the screenshots the first two times I asked, but finally did under the guise of "playing detective" for me, and (3.) how she was afraid I would send him the screenshots. I'm realizing as I consider these things that I believe she wasn't at all "playing detective" for me, because she would've started the whole entire phone call in a much different tune if the goal of her messaging him was to get proof that he was a bad guy, and I should leave him. Then I realize that she probably doesn't want me to send him the screenshots because she likes him, and might intend to keep chatting with him, and me sending the screenshots might sabotage that. So out of anger I message him "You couldn't f*ck me, so you turned to hitting on my friend instead hey?" He opens the message and right as he does, I send him the screenshot of Anna's message stating that she was "playing detective" for me, and just acting flirty to keep him messaging. I send this screenshot with the caption "just so you know." This was a c*nty move on my part for sure, but I was fueled by anger. In the process I realize that he might tell her that I sent that, then I realize that this is a good thing. If she gets angry at me for sending that, then I'll know what her true intentions are.
And she did. She did get mad.
I knew if I got into it with her right now, being as angry as I am, I would say some pretty nasty things. So, I tell her I need time. She asks if we're not okay, and I tell her "Not really, I just need time." She then tells me it's unfair to leave her hanging on the idea that we're not okay without telling her why. This is when she adds to the message "I also didn't realize our text conversations would be shared with others." And I know that Gregg has informed her of the screenshot I sent. I simply reply to that message with "so you're still talking to him hey?" She says she just told him that we spoke about things. She calls me out for disrespecting her by sending the screenshot of her message, and I tell her that if she was truly on my side through all this she wouldn't care if he knew that she was "playing detective" or not. She would be sending me screenshots with laughing emojis. She says that she's not upset about him knowing, she just thinks sending the screenshot is unnecessary. She proceeds to say she cares about our friendship more than any man and she's sorry if she's hurt me.
This is where I might be the asshole. Maybe it's the accumulation of me being bothered by her seeking attention in any social setting, maybe it's because I sat on my concerns about how she was acting around Gregg for a couple days too long, but I feel entirely uninterested in continuing this friendship. I had a friend who did the same thing a lot in high school. I would like a guy, she would begin messaging him, I would find out later and she would make excuses for being flirty. Maybe I have trust issues surrounding that. I know if we sat down, we could probably work this out, but I'm just so bothered at the idea that she's not being entirely truthful, and I feel like all trust has been lost in this relationship. Am I the asshole for not wanting to continue this even though a resolution could be reached? I need advice!!

Sorry for the huge story, and thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far!

I'm going to be completely honest, I am inexperienced with modding. I know roughly how to do the basics like extract the bsa files, I have the morrowind plugin for blender, and I know how basic things in the CK work. However I don't know all the ins and outs of morrowind modding and I feel I am a bit in over my head. If this post is too broad I apologize, feel free to only answer bits and pieces and offer advice.
I got it in my brain that I want to make an alfiq playable race. I love alfiqs. And I have a great idea for an alfiq telvanni mage. The issue is there is no alfiq pc mod, so I decided if no one else has done it I might as well try if I want it badly enough. The issue is sort of logistics in that I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing it. I know how to make a new race in the CK by changing values, and I have a 3d cat model I think can be used (pretty low poly and needs seams added, not to mention bones and animations). But there are other things I am confused on. And believe me I've been looking around for information and guides as much as possible.
Normal humanoid races have body parts broken up, such as the head and torso and left arm, right arm, etc. I believe this is for the armor system that is in morrowind. I don't plan to have alfiq to be able to wear armor, just jewelry and maybe some clothes like a scarf and hat when I can get around to that. Should I break up the body in the same format the humanoid races are in or can the game register a custom race without that? And if so is there a trick to make sure the scaling will work right with it all fitting together?
Also: how should I go about doing the first person stuff if anyone has pointers. Should I have... Paws? And do I have to lower the camera for this race?

350+/1800$ Gift Trades in 6 years

 

Made a Google doc because the list is long

MY Trade Reputation
 

YOUR FAVOURITE SELLER IS BACK FOR 6TH YEAR IN A ROW. CHECK MY REP THREAD

 

CACHE Price Increases as I stock out & Reservation is Compulsory

 
Want Paypal/Zelle/Venmo/GooglePay/PayTm worth the listed Amount or Items (1.2x - STEAM TAX). I will not go first. The link to add me :LINK to ADD ME
 

Crownfall Treasure Chest 3 (Buy 3+ More at 10% / 6+ More at 20% / 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
(Phantom Lancer) Flock of Avilliva	1	25$ or Items	Very Rare Treasure 3	Only ONE
(Jakiro) Barding of Balaur	2	12$ or Items	Rare Treasure 3	One Sold Last Reserved
(Oracle) Prophecies of Pavo	3	7.5$ or Items	Rare Treasure 3	None
(Shadow Fiend) Raven Harvest	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Bane) Tome of Infinite Terror	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Queen of Pain) The Rose of Ristul	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Mars) Mars Gallus	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Treant Protector) Spina Infernalis	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Death Prophet) Draconic Requiem	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None
(Visage) Grimfeather the Grotesque	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	One Reserved
(Alchemist) Potion Potentate	5	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 3	None

 

Crownfall Treasure Chest 1 & 2 (Buy 3+ More at 10% / 6+ More at 20% / 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Mocking Bird (Meepo)	4	20$ or Items	Very Rare Treasure 1	None
Ravencloak (Drow Ranger)	3	55$	Very Rare Treasure 2	Two Reserved Last Left
Whispering Wings (Silencer)	6	8$ or Items	Rare Treasure 1	None
Crown of the Condor (Wraith King)	6	8.5$ or Items	Rare Treasure 1	One Sold 5 Left
Thunderbird (Zeus)	5	7$ or Items	Rare Treasure 2	None
Birdfeed Bandit (Hood Wink)	4	8$ or Items	Rare Treasure 2	None
Blood Raven (Blood Seeker)	10	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Tines of the Pyrexae (Jakiro)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Imperial Ember (Lina)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Designs of Ancient Druud (Disruptor)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Verdant Swarm (Nature Prophet)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Phalanx of the Bronze Eagle (Legion Commander)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Raven of Ristul (Queen of Pain)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	None
Eyes in the Endless Dark (Shadow Shaman)	8	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 1	One Reserved
Crystalline Crown (Ancient Apparition)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Flight of the Gryphon Lord (Keeper of the Light)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Lionheart (Omnikinght)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Song of the Sea Lotus (Naga Siren)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Keeper of the Nether-Lens (Pugna)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Twitcher (Tinker)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Highborn Heretic (Skywrath Mage)	7	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None
Mischief of the Winter Moth (Puck)	6	2.5$ or Items	Treasure 2	None

 

AUGUST 2023 Collectors Cache (Buy 3+ More at 10%/ 6+ More at 20%/ 9+ More at 30% discount)

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Snailfire (SnapFire)	2	30$	Very Rare Cache Set	One Sold Last Left
Brightfist (Marci)	5	18$ or Items	Rare Cache Set	Three Sold One Reserved Last Left
Dezun Viper (Dazzle)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold One Reserved
Primeval Abomination (Primal Beast)	5	7$ or Items	Cache Set	Three Sold
Astral Herald (Dawnbreaker)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Spectral Shadow (Abaddon)	5	3.5$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Taur Rider (Alchemist)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Crescent Huntress (Spectre)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Tyrant of the Veil (Wraith King)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Tomo'kan Footsoldier (Hoodwink)	5	5$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold
Darkwood Eulogy (Death Prophet)	5	3.5$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Sea Spirit (Kunkka)	5	5.5$ or Items	Cache Set	Two Sold
Triumph of the Imperatrix (Legion Commander)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	None
Beast of Thunder (Storm Spirit)	5	7$ or Items	Cache Set	Three Sold
Ancestral Heritage (Jakiro)	5	4$ or Items	Cache Set	One Sold

 

Ultra Rare Immortals 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Bloodfeather Finery (Queen of Pain)	1	15$ or Items	Ultra Rare Immortal 2	LastLeft

 

Diretide Collectors Cache-2 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Sublime Equilibrium (Void Spirit)	2	45$ or Items	Very Rare Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold Last Left
Brands of the Reaper (Anti Mage)	5	$18	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold Last Two Reserved
Grudges of the Gallows Tree (Treant)	6	15$ or Items	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Five Sold Last Left
War Rig Eradicators (Techies)	5	8$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
Sacred Chamber Guardian (Huskar)	5	7$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold One Reserved
Acrimonies of Obsession (Vengeful Spirit)	5	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	One Sold
Freeboot Fortunes (Ogre Magi)	5	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	None
Withering Pain (Clinkz)	5	6$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Darkfeather Factioneer (Phantom Assassin)	5	8$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
Feasts of Forever (Night Stalker)	5	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Cursed Cryptbreaker (Pudge)	5	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Dawn of Darkness Foretold (Doom)	5	10$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold
The Wilding Tiger (Brewmaster)	5	11$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Four Sold Last Left
Transcendent Path (Oracle)	5	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Darkbrew´s Transgression (Alchemist)	5	10$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Four Sold Last Left
Grand Suppressor (Silencer)	5	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Two Sold
Bird of Prey (Legion Commander)	5	9$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache 2	Three Sold One Reserved Last Left

 

Diretide Collectors Cache 2022

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Blue Horizons(Marci)	4	16$ or Items	Rare Direteide Collectors Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Hounds of Obsession (Chen)	3	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Seadog's Stash (Clockwerk)	3	6$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold
Starlorn Adjudicator (Dawn Breaker)	3	11$	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Chines of the Inquisitor (Faceless Void)	3	18.5$	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Reserved
Crimson Dawn (Phoenix)	3	7$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Forgotten Station (Terrorblade)	3	4.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	None
Dirge Amplifier (Undying)	3	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold
Champion of the Fire Lotus (Monkey King)	3	7.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	Two Sold Last Left
Deathstitch Shaman (Witch Doctor)	3	5.5$ or Items	Direteide Collectors Cache	One Sold

 

Aghanim's Continuum Cache 2021 / Ti-11

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Scales of the Shadow Walker (Phantom Lancer)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Test of the Basilisk Lord (Razor)	4	11.5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Secrets of the Frost Singularity (Ancient Apparation)	4	5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	None
Perils of the Red Banks (Chen)	4	7$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold Last Left
The Chained Scribe (Grimstroke)	4	8$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	One Sold One Reserved
Widow of the Undermount Gloom (Broodmother)	4	9.5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Forgotten Fate (Mars)	4	5$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	One Sold
March of the Crackerjack Mage (Rubick)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Three Sold Last Left
Cosmic Concoctioneers (Alchemist)	4	12$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold
Blightfall (Abbadon)	4	8$ or Items	Aghanim Cache	Two Sold

 

Nemestice Cache 2021 / Ti-11

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Astral Terminus (Enigma)	3	12$ or Items	Nemestice Cache 1	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Caerulean Star (Enchantress)	3	9$ or Items	Nemestice Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left

 -

Collector's Cache 2020 / Ti-10

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Steward of the Forbidden Chamber (TA/Templar Assassin)	3	15$	TI-10 Rare Cache 2	Two Sold Last Reserved
Talons of the Endless Storm (CK/Chaos Knight)	3	7.5$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Carousel of the Mystic Masquerade (Rubick)	3	10$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	Two Sold Last Left
Blacksail Cannoneer (Sniper)	3	7$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	None
Blaze of Oblivion (Phoenix)	3	7$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 2	None
Songs of Starfall Glen (Enchantress)	3	6$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	None
Flashpoint Proselyte (Huskar)	3	13$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left
Fissured Flight (Jakiro)	3	12$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Left
Mindless Slaughter (Pudge)	3	12$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last Reserved
Fury of Righteous Storm (Disruptor)	3	6$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	None
Apocalypse Unbound (Ancient Apparation)	3	9$ or Items	TI-10 Cache 1	Two Sold Last left

 

Collector's Cache 2019/ Ti-9

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Prized Acquisitions (Batrider)	4	7$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Two Sold
The sight of the Kha-Ren Faithful (Drow Ranger)	4	12$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold Last Reserved
Directive of the Sunbound(Clockwerk)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Four Sold Last Left
Distinguished Expeditionary (Tusk)	4	7$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Two Sold
Automaton Antiquity (Broodmother)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Four Sold Last Left
Fury of the Bloodforge (Bloodseeker)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
Tribal Pathways (Warlock)	5	8.5$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
Verdant Predator (Venomancer)	5	9$	TI-9 Cache Set-2	Three Sold
The Arts of Mortal Deception (Enigma)	3	9$	TI-9 Cache Set	Two Sold Last Left
Poacher's Bane (Tidehunter)	3	8$	TI-9 Cache Set	One Sold One Reserved Last Left
Riddle of the Hierophant (Oracle)	3	9$ or 3 Keys	TI-9 Cache Set	Two Sold Last Left

 

Collector's Cache 2018/ Ti-8

Item	Quantity	Price	Type	Reserved
Raiments of the Obsidian Forge (Underlord)	4	18$	TI-8 Rare Cache Set	Three Sold Last Left
Pattern of the Silken Queen (Brood)	4	8$	TI-8 Cache Set	Three Sold Last Left

 
https://steamcommunity.com/id/whatsyouraff (DireTide 2022 Oracle Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198063913439 (2021 Gyro, 2020 Huskar, AA, Warlock, Grim Sets Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Mujou64 (Diretide Cache 2 Doom & Venge Sold Successfuly)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/rudmax (2019 Brood Automation, 2021 Shadow Shaman & Enchantress Reserved - Full Payment Made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198064920459 (2023 Rare Marci and Dawn Cache Sold successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Alacaster (2023 AM Ultra Rare, Hoodwink & Dawn Reserved - 14/70 Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Default_panda (2023 Spectre Cache & Mars Wings of Imperium Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/hollywoodsbleeding_ (2022 LC Cache Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041012739 (2022 Phoneix Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/carantis (2023 Jakiro and Dazzle Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198079185431/ (2023 Rare Treant, 2021 Rare Ogre & PL Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/muruph (2017 DP Cache Reserved Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/LovelasStrasti/ (Techies 2022 Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/uziexe/(2020 Timber Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/SemiOfficialAnthonyAdams (Brewmaster and Oracle Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/V3G3TA (2023 - Wk, Primal, Storm, Alche, 2022 - LC, Techies, Alche Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198829952373/ (2023 Kunka Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Darkio567/ (2023 Dawnbreaker Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198176999423 (2022 Brew Set Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198325291097/ (2023 Rare Marci Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Snaily3000/ (2020 Shadow Demon Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/catgirllyra/ (2023 Rare Marci and Diretide 2022 Hoodwink Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198877138961/ (2023 Dazzle and Aghanim Brood Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198059954390/ (Diretide 2022 Rare Antimage, Huskar, 2021 Grimstroke, 2019 Drow, Chen & Tide, 2018 Axe & QOP Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199173346010/ (2023 Hoodwink Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/LordPlasmarr (2023 WK Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198138951034/ (2023 Primal Beast and Brewmaster Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/waffler99/ (2023 Rare Marci Cache Reserved - 3.5/13.5 Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/vcxxiv (Crownfall Rare WK Cache Sold- Old Customer)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198114702223 (Snapfire Rare, Storm Spirit, Kunkaa, Primal Beast, Silencer Cache Sold Successfully)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198051968045 (2020 Pudge Cache Reserved - Full Payment Made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199195274635 (2022 Faceless Void Cache Reserved - Full payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/naptime_/ (2020 TA and 2021 Enigma Reserved - Full payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/GayNoNePida (2x 2022 Rare Antimage Cache Reserved - Full Payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198334003229 (2019 Drow Ranger Cache Reserved - 25% paid advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198176818975/ (2019 CK reserved - Full Payment made Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/otafurvasquez/ (Crownfall Super Rare Drow Cache Reserved - 25% payment received advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198031080008 (Crownfall Super Rare Drow and Shaman Cache Reserved -25% Paid Advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/reynauld_/ (LC Birds of Prey Reserved - Full Payment made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/id/f_s0c1ety/ (Crownfall 3 Rare Jakiro & Visage Reserved - Full Payment Made advance)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198072474418/ (Crownfall Rare Jakiro Sold Successfully Old Customer)
Wall of Shame:
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199102322625/ (This clown added me and when I asked to reserve which I have clearly stated in my post backtracked on trade offer, has no idea how 30-day steam gifting works so beware)
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197974015392/ (The newest Clown in town, Asks to buy legacy items, agrees to pay my listed price then tells me 2 days later about not making the payment because he found these sets for only 2 Dollars each which is not possible. Beware and don't add this person)

This year I started working at a new elementary school with a JTE who hasn’t taught English before. In the city I work in, ALT’s are expected to only be T2. However, in this JTE’s classes I’m T1. I’ve worked at a few schools before and never had a problem, but I’m struggling to work with this JTE and would love some advice. These are the some of the issues:

1. She refuses to speak in class- even in Japanese. If I ask her to please explain the meaning of something she says it’s too difficult and asks me to explain in Japanese (!) She speaks fluent English. For example, she wouldn’t explain the reflection cards to 3rd and 4th graders and now only a handful of kids actually fill them out at the end of each lesson, the kids that do write わからない
   
2. If a homeroom teacher comes up to her and asks how their class behaved during English class, she will refuse to answer and expects me to respond in Japanese and speak for her
   
3. She refuses to attempt to control the class in any way and expects me to just continue teaching and yell over the class if they’re not listening. As a result the classes have become rowdy because they know they can get away with not listening and talking.
   
4. I always tell her before the lesson exactly what we are going to do, and write it down and put it on the teacher’s desk so she can read it. However, every class she acts like she has no idea what’s going on and panics and says loudly ‘どうしよう！’ within earshot of the kids.
   
5. She doesn’t lesson plan at all. I’m only at this school two days a week, and have six periods each day so I don’t have time to lesson plan. Yet when I arrive in the morning she expects that I’ve planned six periods of class including printing worksheets etc. Her working hours are longer than mine but she doesn’t use this time to prepare. If I don’t prepare something using my own time and money (eg to print) then class is a mess and I’m the one who looks incompetent.
   

I know she lacks confidence and is inexperienced and I can really relate to feeling that way, but it’s been difficult and it’s already been six weeks since semester one started so I feel like things should be getting better. I try to nicely suggest ways she could help me out in class or with preparation but nothing seems to get through to her.

(This is a lot, so I get it if you don’t read it all, but I could just really use some validation)
I called my mother, we both cried a lot, then ended up laughing after 4 hours(I know, we can talk a lot, it’s genuinely not normal). I felt insane, the way I always do around my family. And now I don’t even feel anyhing anymore. It felt like some kind of closure – everything I’ve always ignored and minimized and forgotten is just so clear, undeniable. And that’s partially because she so calmly said she’ll never be a mother to me. It’s made me accept it. She really isn’t my mother, she’ll never be.
She admitted that she doesn’t know how to be an empathetic mother. I explained over and over that I can’t call her when I need any kind of support, or am not 100% happy. I explained how that makes contact impossible when I’m chronically ill - she wants jokes, uplifting stories, a listening ear. Anything else, and she hangs up. I have no energy and am no longer willing to constantly put on an act.
She said she doesn’t know how to be that empathetic mother, because she didn’t have that herself. She said she shouldn’t have been a mother, after her traumatic childhood. She also said: why should you have that empathy and support, when I didn’t. And it feels closer to a confession and her taking responsibility than anything else I’ve ever gotten. To admit that because you were traumatised, you think your children deserve the same… I was and am speechless. And I’m glad I don’t understand it.
She joked that we should go beat up her mother. It’s all her fault, that’s where it began, that’s who’s responsible. And of course, there’s: you didn’t have it as bad at me. Be grateful you didn’t have my mother.
She said she doesn’t want to go therapy, because she’s scared of having a total breakdown. She’ll never go. Again: it’s the first time I’ve heard her say it so clearly. She’s fine with her life, she’s in survival mode, and she’s happy that way. When I say: are you fine with losing both your daughters and possibly your grandchildren because you won’t change? There’s no answer. I guess that means yes.
It’s like we’re not a factor. She only sees herself. Over and over, she goes back to: this is how it feels for me, this is how my mother hurt me, and how you hurt me, never the other way around.
She said she doesn’t ever call because I say “horrible things” to her, that she has to recover from for days. These horrible things are me stating my boundaries, and holding her accountable. Over and over she broke down because I’m hurting her. It makes me so angry, because for a minute I do feel guilty again - when I’m doing nothing wrong! I didn’t abuse anyone! I’m only telling her what she did to me and continues to do!
It’s like trying to explain cause and effect, action and reaction, to a toddler. If you hit me and I scream, the scream isn’t the attack. I don’t want to explain it anymore. I don’t get it. It’s so easy for me to take responsibility when I’ve fucked up. I like improving, solving, going to therapy, listening to people around me, getting better, helping eachother. And I was traumatized, I have CPTSD, I’m very scared and imperfect. So f*ck off, there is no excuse.
She said I should go to therapy for the way I respond to her unempathetic responses, isn’t that something I should work on. I said: are you fucking kidding me. (From the age of 13 I was put in therapy by my mother to fix my behaviour - when I was really in therapy because I had abusive parents. I was made to believe I was the problem.) I explain the last therapist I saw praised my capability to still ask for help, but said it still wasn’t enough, because I do everything alone. He said shutting down and being hyper independent is what I need to unlearn. And I need to learn how to set boundaries with my mother. My mother thinks the opposite is true. She praises my hyperindependence, punishes and shames me for asking for help. It’s hurtful when I say I don’t want to listen to an hour of her venting about her trauma.
It just so wild to realize now that she never was a mother. Small moments, sure. But nowhere close to enough.
She said: but you’re an adult now. Apparently I’m not supposed to ask my mother for support anymore. I’m 34 and I can’t be angry about the neglect and abuse I experienced as a child, up until now, and I’m also not allowed to ask for anything now.
Essentially, to be in contact with her, I have to treat her like a younger niece, even a daughter. And that’s how it feels. I listen to everything, am her therapist, support her through anything. Make her laugh. Put up with abuse and neglect, ignore it, say it’s fine. And what do I get.
I guess that’s the big question I’m left with. What is in it for me. It doesn’t make me feel good. I feel like a burden, worthless, not like a daughter. I’m always tired after talking to her. I have confirmation now that this won’t change, that she’ll never be a mother. And if this was my partner, or a good friend, who said: I’ll never support you, don’t ever cry ‘cause I can’t handle it and I’ll hang up on you - it’s so clear that I would end that relationship. So why am I clinging to this. If ‘m honest, I’m scared. Because she always said I couldn’t make it on my own. So there’s a part of me that thinks I’ll die. I’ll starve, become homeless somehow, all these things she used to say. I’m also scared of the grief, of having no family at all, of the idea of losing a mother, sister, Christmas together. In reality, this is worse. This is probably worse, clinging to something that isn’t real, that makes me feel like my 5 year old self all the time.
Maybe I’ll never be sure. Maybe I’ll cut ties not knowing if it’s the right thing - only knowing that it’s the right thing for me right now. Maybe that will slowly turn into forever. It’d be a weight off my shoulders, and maybe that’s enough. Maybe I don’t need a better reason.

I borrowed a CK jacket from someone. Somebody else then damaged said jacket. I want to replace it like for like, any idea where I can buy one or where there's large selections of CK jackets ?
Alternatively, what's a good brand jacket for men I can pick up from Centaurus mall? Can a darzi fix it?

after such a long fight and debate to my confusion of this 3rd party ban, trying to get a proper answer or support that is not repetitive... insisting i got a clean system in my newly build pc... because it is... and im playing fair and clean, to have fun with friends...
then i got this last reply
"Using any unauthorized third party programs, including mods, hacks, cheats, scripts, bots, trainers and automation programs that interact with the Riot Services in any way, for any purpose, including any (sec 1) unauthorized third party programs that intercept, emulate, or redirect any communication relating to the Riot Services and any unauthorized third party programs that collect info about the Riot Services by reading areas of memory used by the Riot Services to store info will lead to account suspension. You may refer to our Terms of Service for further clarification on this. (sec2) While we don’t strictly condemn the use of third-party modifications, these programs can be dangerous and worthy of suspension where they violate our ~Terms of Use.~ (sec 3) I can’t tell you whether a particular third-party modification is against our Terms of Use or not, but you can follow these general guidelines:

• We identify and suspend accounts for using third-party programs intended to offer a competitive advantage by affecting gameplay in any way
• (sec 4) We cannot control what a third-party developer makes or changes, so a program that was once acceptable may have versions which violate the Terms of Use
• (sec 5) Some third-party developers may not have your best interests in mind, so please be aware that these types of files can contain keyloggers, viruses, and malware.
• (sec6) Third-party modifications may affect your game in unexpected ways, so if you’re having technical issues, try uninstalling these programs before doing anything else."

so a you can see i bold some areas that confuse me or give me some ideas how i got hammer by a ban without a hacks or cheats that could ruin a fair game or policy of riots, like i said this is a newly installed os and pc build on april 4, installed some OS drivers same day as build then valo on 6, followed by riva tuner, obs on 10, torrent on 16, download some torrent games i dont like to buy but i want to try means its (cracked common! every body does that) installed play it a couple of times got tired delete... then i open valo on 24 got ban by 3rd party detection... but this doesn't occur "Using any unauthorized third party programs, including mods, hacks, cheats, scripts, bots, trainers and automation programs that interact with the Riot Services in any way, " so please disregard this idea on me... thats why im so confused... but on this support reply in SEC2-4 -5 -6, to my understanding or i think so? its possible you get ban hammered by vanguard on 3rd party detection even though this 3rd party nothing to do with the actual game , a 3rd party apps like games or software... that is run by patch script or cracked to open ? and there is also a possibility thats some apps that was running ok, side by side with valorant or vanguard, could cause a ban the next time that apps updates? because the only apps running everytime i play is obs? rivatuner? logitech g hub or other green flagged apps? could be instantly be red flagged and cause you a ban? without you having an idea... to me i find it unfair to instantly perma ban a account base on this, specially that most of this reason doesnt even affect, interfere, or give advantage, to the actually games... and yet your account gets banned or PC get a HIWD for 120 days and its unreasonable, now the question? after this 120 days? how the f@ck will i know what 3rd party apps that cause me the ban? is it really those cracked software and games? but my windows security didnt even flagged them for malware? after hiwd lifted? i still got a possibilty to be ban? without any idea? what to uninstall? all apps looks legit eveyone has a publisher, windows security wont let you install apps unknown publisher, its frustrating, thats all... so im gonna try to keep sending ticket for this whole 120 days haha to my satisfactiion

This guy drains my will to live with every second he is on screen. And same goes for his dumb and fat sidekick (though he is a super original type!). I can't find any humor in Pegg's many movies and don't understand his career. He seems like a generic, balding, weak-chinned guy. He never says anything clever or has any real idea. We are supposed to be delighted by watching his emotionless reaction shots to the idiots around him?
Are there bigger problems in the world? Yes
Is it petty to focus on the "creative" career of some rando jackass? Yes
Is this what the internet is for? Yes
Is S. Pegg a lovely lad? Maybe, but f-ck him.

I am looking for a worksheet or website with similar difficulty to the first exam. If anyone has any Idea of any please tell me

The picture shows my problem:
image: