Op- https://www.reddit.com/WritingPrompts/s/sWJUxDJ0SO
John’s left hand was squeezed white against the wheel of his old pick-up; he held his son, Alex, close with his other.
As they rattled down the uneven country roads, rain pelted their windshield with a fury. John continually glanced into the rearview. Thunder clapped at their back like the hands of god, and through the white flashes of lightning, he could make out a large barrel of rotating black smoke. Each time he looked, it seemed to have grown larger, and one singular thought repeated in his mind.
Make it to the cellar, he thought. Make it to the cellar.
He gripped his son tighter and pressed the accelerator with a heavy foot. The truck roared beneath them.
“Come on…” He muttered. He was driving nearly eighty.
“Dad?” Alex’s voice was small, and John could feel him trembling under his arm.
John rubbed his shoulder. “It’s okay, bud. We’re nearly there; it ain’t gonna get us.” Truthfully, though, he wasn’t sure if he believed the words himself.
“But Dad, I’m scared.”
Just then, a strong gust of wind punched the side of the truck, nearly sending it swerving into the ditch. With a squealing effort, John steadied it and accelerated faster. The boy’s head was now buried into his armpit. Limbs began falling from trees; scattered debris carpeted the roads.
John looked down at his son; he was still wearing his blue Little League uniform. All of this for a damn baseball game, he thought, then looked back at the road. He stomped the brakes. Alex screamed as they lurched forward and John stuck an arm out to keep him from flying into the windshield. The truck skidded sideways to a halt on the wet road. A giant oak tree, maybe eight feet in diameter, lay flat across their path.
“Fuck.” John muttered as he smacked the steering wheel with his palm. There wasn’t any getting around that.
He darted his eyes around wildly, looking for some sort of a solution—anything—but all he found was fear. The swirling column of dark wind was getting closer now, and his options were growing increasingly limited.
Then he noticed something. Just past the downed tree a green mile marker sign glowed back at him—the mile marker sign that’s about a half mile away from their house.
They were closer than they thought.
He grabbed Alex by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “We’re gonna make a run for it.
“What?” Alex asked, his eyes wide with terror.
“I know; I don’t want to either, but it’s our only shot. I—“
“No!” Alex shouted. He tried to say more, but the words just sputtered out in incoherent globs.
“Hey,” John said patiently, but Alex was in hysterics. John looked over his shoulder. Power lines were beginning to fall, and the transformers were popping into big blue sparks as they hit the ground. He looked back at Alex.
“HEY!” He shouted.
Alex stopped immediately and looked at him in surprise. He never yelled.
“Do you trust me?” He asked.
Alex moved his mouth, but no breath came to push the words out.
“Do you trust me?” John asked again, shaking the boy a little.
This time, Alex nodded yes.
“Okay, now listen. I’m going to pick you up, and we’re gonna run. I want you to close your eyes, and I don’t want you to open them until I tell you it’s okay. Do you understand?”
The boy nodded again, and a tear fell down his cheek as he closed his eyes.
John scooped him up and creaked the metal door open into the rain. Lightning continued to snap overhead; there was a metallic smell in the air, like burning wires, and the humidity was thick enough to choke a man.
He held the boy's head against his shoulder and started in a sort of half run to the driveway. Alex felt heavier than he used to, and it made him wonder just how long ago it was since he’d held him that way.
Cold rain whipped at their back, sticking their clothes to their skin like slick velcro. John spat the water from his mouth as he trudged forward blindly in the dark. His muscles started to burn. His feet snagged on branches, trash, and other debris that had blown in, threatening to trip him, and sudden dips or rises staggered him as his foot met only air where he expected solid earth.
John could feel the boy sobbing once more. “We’re almost there; we’re gonna make it.” He panted. This time, he really believed what he said. The driveway came into view as they rounded the last corner.
Limbs the size of cedar trees blew past them like confetti. One cracked John in the back of the head, sending him and Alex tumbling onto the ground. The pain was brilliant. For a moment, he saw white, but his vision quickly cleared, and he looked up at Alex.
Alex sat with his knees tucked to his chest, holding a scrape. His skin and clothes were covered in twigs, mud, and pine needles, and his face was twisted with fright—contorted like one of those dramatic masquerade masks as he rocked back and forth. His eyes were open now.
The twister roared behind them like a gasoline truck chugging up a hill. John scrambled to his feet. He scooped Alex into his arms, and started toward the house once again. His head was pounding, his muscles were on fire, blood was thudding against his ears, and that same thought from earlier continued to swim laps around his mind.
Make it to the cellar.
He pressed on, planting one solid foot into the ground at a time and marching forward like a well oiled machine.
Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he walked down the driveway; wind whipped their wet clothes like flags.
John shed Alex from his arms and looked down at the wooden cellar door. He tried pulling it open, but the wind shoved it back down. It was picking up even more now. Shingles began to be sucked from the roof, and John knew that if he didn’t get this door open, he and Alex would follow closely behind.
He pulled as hard as he could, grunting with the effort. Alex quickly joined him in the struggle, helping as much as a nine-year-old possibly could. It began to come up a little, but the wind was powerful.
John screamed and dug in harder. He had to get it open. He felt his muscles tearing beneath his skin, his joints cracking; he used every single ounce of his strength, and finally the door began to give. He pried it just far enough for them to fit.
“GET IN,” He shouted. The boy jumped inside, and John followed shortly after. The door slammed behind him with a smack that resembled a gunshot.
The cellar was dark. Screws and bolts and toolboxes filled with wrenches and other metal things shook and rumbled off of the shelves. A few baseball bats fell and clinked across the concrete floor. Up top, it sounded like a giant lawnmower was making quick work of the farmhouse, eating it up like it was little more than a stray blade of grass.
John’s head still throbbed, and he could feel warm blood trickling down the back of his neck. He was tired, breathing raggedly, and all of a sudden he had a very strong urge to go to sleep.
They held each other in darkness, sitting there for what seemed like an eternity, but just as quickly as it began, it was over. The roar lessened, quieted, then disappeared as it got further away.
The two looked at each other, both covered in dirt and debris, and John knew that everything was gone. He knew that the house was gone; he knew the farm was gone, and he knew that just about everything else he had ever worked for was torn to shreds in a matter of minutes.
But he looked at Alex, and when he saw the twinkle of life in his son’s eye, he breathed a sigh of relief. That was all that mattered. They sat for an hour in silence, not daring to step out until they were sure it was safe.
Eventually, rays of light began to beam through the cracks in the cellar door. John was the first to move. He walked to the door, flung it outward and shielded his squinted eyes to look outside.
The sky was blue. He hoisted himself upward and poked his head out.
His barn was still there. Bessie, his cow, was standing beside it, chewing on a mouthful of grass; all of the chickens strutted around the side of the barn, nearing the garden, which also looked untouched; the squash was even blooming. Behind him, their house stood tall, perfectly intact all the way up to the shingles.
The oddest thing of all was his farm pickup parked in the driveway—no worse shape than when they left for the ballgame.
John scratched his head.
“Dad?” Alex shouted.
“You can come up.” He said, puzzled.
Alex crawled out of the cellar in the same fashion as his father, and confusion dawned on his face as well. “It missed us?”
John shook his head. “No way it coulda missed us. I don’t really know what to make of it.”
He really didn’t. They saw the twister coming directly at them; they heard the house ripped to shreds right above their heads; the farm truck didn’t make it back to the house at all, for Christ's sake. It just didn’t make any damn sense.
A feminine voice called out to them—a voice John recognized at the first syllable. “John? Alex?”
“Vick..” He mouthed and whipped his head around. A tall woman with blonde hair was walking around the side of the porch, stepping as gracefully as a doe. Her eyes were as green as the pines behind her, and she gave a smile that held more reassurance than a million words could express.
She spread her arms wide. “My boys.” She said. John stood motionless, his mouth slightly agape. Alex pushed past him as he ran, “Mommy!” He shouted.
The woman wrapped the boy in a hug and lifted him from his feet. As she held his head against her shoulder, she pointed her eyes in John’s direction and held out her other hand.
He walked toward her, cautiously.
“John.” She said. “It’s me, I promise.”
John looked at her for a moment longer. He wanted to run to her, to wrap her up and lift her the same way she did Alex. For the past two years, there had been nothing in this world that he’d wanted more.
But his wife was dead. He watched as the cancer took her in 2014; he held her in his arms as she died in the hospital bed, yet there she stood—healthy and as real as the sun beating down on his neck. He reached a hand to the back of his head, feeling for the place where the branch whacked him.
But there was nothing—not even a tender spot.
He looked back up at his wife. “Are we…”
“Hush, dont think about it like that, John.” She smiled, “We’re together now.”
John staggered a little, staring down at his hands; his once farm hardened callouses were gone now, smoothed over with soft, healthy skin.
“I—“ He began.
“Get over here and hug me.”
He looked up; his wife looked back at him lovingly with her direct, green eyes, and for the first time in so long, he felt happy. A feeling he’d grown a stranger to. A grin tightened across his face, and he walked toward Vick as their old golden retriever ran panting toward them from across the yard, just like she used to, only now; she had all four of her legs.

In the 19, nearly 20, years I have lived my life, I was raised a Christian by American conservatives in a middle class environment and am fortunate to experience countless memories of joy, laughter, and growth with (mostly) everybody I have met. Each memory with the people in my life holds a special place in my heart, and I will forever cherish the bond we built.
The thing is that until the end of eighth grade, I had a strange obsession with East Asia. Looking back, it was very embarrassing and I condemn my parents for enabling me to become a weeaboo (by “weeaboo”, I mean “a person who is overly obsessed with East Asian culture, especially Japanese culture, to the point that they fetishize the culture in an unhealthy way”). I was the textbook example of a weeaboo who had a terrible case of “yellow fever” (sexual preference towards East Asians). Loving the image of East Asian culture without having any real idea what it stood for and seeing the East as a utopia, my fetishization of East Asia, especially Japan, was born out of the shame I have with the Western culture I was raised in. I never felt like I could fit in with my Western peers who I often looked down upon and did not want to be associated with. It got to the point that I became unsatisfied with my home town, my physical appearance, and even my closest friends. This combined with the surge in anime, K-pop, and other media on the internet really got me hooked and believing really fetish-y things about the Sinosphere. I hate being reminded of it and have tried to move on.
However, I am thankful for my exposure to Eastern culture, though it was through a very bastardized, Westernized lens. I am grateful for my exposure, even though it started out with something as intellectually undemanding as Vocaloid music (songs sung by a Japanese voice synthesizer). The best part about the exposure was that it helped me leave Christianity and join Buddhism at age 11, which greatly helped with my mental health considering I was experiencing suicidal thoughts since the age of 8. Though I had awful misunderstandings of Buddhism in the beginning and still do not really have a Buddhist teacher, I am glad that I have the resources to connect myself with other Buddhists and take refuge in the Triple Gem.
As I left my gross misconceptions of the Sinosphere behind back when I was 14 while still having a healthy interest in it, my eyes were eventually opened to perils which threaten not only the homelands of Buddhism (East, South, and Southeast Asia), but also the sustainability of modern humans. These two perils are Western culture and capitalist fascism.
The West exoticizes and misrepresents Buddhism and the culture of its home, the East, as a whole. I am ashamed to be born in a culture where this was encouraged, which I am worried could lead me to fetishizing Eastern culture again.
But what I know for sure is that the West’s hyperindividualism is harming people, both those whose lands are invaded and its own people. This combined with the West’s growing rejection of education, including that of the knowledge the West itself has given to the world for humanity’s benefit, makes it clear that it is lacking some of the Sinosphere’s cultural strengths. Everybody should hold collectivism and education to the same degree that the Sinosphere does, otherwise we would be left with an unsustainable society that would destroy itself.
There is nothing wrong with speaking Western languages, eating Western foods, watching (most types of) Western media, wearing Western clothes, and especially nothing wrong with using Western inventions, but we are now seeing that the West’s hyperindividualism and rejection of education is destructive and spreading like a cancer.
It is only Buddhists who make an effort to assimilate to the East (had they not been born into it) who can see the West with its hyperindividualism and uneducatedness, promoted by its creation of its spreading ideologies such as capitalist fascism and social Darwinism, for what it really is: a cancer. I can now see the direction the United States, the most populated and powerful country in the West, is going due to the rise of ultra-capitalism and/or fascism supporters.
Rarely the phrase “Western”, as in “formed by the combined foundations of Greco-Roman civilization and Western Christianity” (Gabbe), raised positive thoughts in my mind since I learned about it shortly after discovering Buddhism. “Western” when used in the context of medicine is an exception to this, but we are now seeing more and more Westerners dishonor the progress their ancestors made towards modern, mainstream, dare I say, Western medicine as they fall for anti-vaccine and anti-mask pseudoscience.
Nowadays, some who use the word in a derogatory context are uneducated reactionaries that bash anything and everything Western, yet hypocritically promote the Western political ideology of fascism. A strength that a majority (though now a decreasing number) of Western countries have is their progressivism, supporting scientific advancements, women’s rights, racial equality, and the LGBT+. However, this is not just becoming less common; being a progressive Westerner is not enough, not enough to end Western imperialism, to save the sacred truths taught to us by the Shakyamuni Buddha, or to empower the working class.
Although I never fully approved of Western culture after my weeaboo phase ended, my early teen self still ended up falling into the anti-social justice warrior side of YouTube that I now recognized hindered my understanding of what actually ruined my country, the United States of America. I still did not feel comfortable calling myself a Westerner but mainly because the West did not widely accept Buddhism and has several times in its history persecuted Buddhists. At the same time, I was deceived by a bastardized form of Buddhism common among Westerners (known as “secular Buddhism”, which picks and chooses aspects of the Buddha’s teachings instead of accepting them as a whole), so I was a bit more of the classic, stereotypical atheist neckbeard who fetishized the East up until 2020. Since then, my views became more progressive similar to those of American liberals and I denounced traditionalist Western beliefs, but like the average American liberal, I did not see Western culture, both traditional and progressive, as the peril I now see it. It was not until around the end of 2023 when I discovered the Western problem.
It was a slow burn that started with my discovery of Buddhists on the internet talking about how the West misrepresented Buddhism to appeal to “self-help” consumerists, Christians, and New Age followers. In the Westerner, I originally saw only a person who followed harmless customs, traditions, and other norms that came from a part of the world where Buddhism was not the dominant religion (if you could even call the non-theistic dharma as taught by the Gautama Buddha a religion). And so, I did not believe that Western civilization needed to fall for the safety of the dharma, let alone for its own people. After all, I thought to myself, the West has contributed so much to science and the modern world as we know it. I still believe to this day that there are no superior cultures and that each one simply has its own unique strengths and weaknesses, some of which are only subjective. However, while looking through Buddhist forums, I was shocked to hear about the West’s pollution of Buddhism and my knowledge on Buddhism skyrocketed as I learned that I fell victim to the Dunning-Kruger effect. I started reading sutras and immersing myself with Buddhism by listening to those who have much more experience than I do. There are hardly any Buddhists in my community and the only Buddhist center within reach is a New Kadampa Tradition meditation center (FYI: the New Kadampa Tradition must be avoided since it has a reputation for financially exploiting members and its monastics have allegations of drug trafficking and sexual abuse), so books and the internet are all I have left.
Practicing Buddhism in the West is nearly impossible without a community, without a Buddhist teacher, without any resources written by Eastern Buddhists. Reddit user u/Tendai-Student, a “lay Tendai Student [sic] with aspirations to become a Priest [sic]” states the following:
It is exceedingly challenging for a Westerner who is interested in Buddhism to find reliable information. Bookstores' Buddhist sections are rife with myths about the religion (we will come to some of these misconceptions below). Buddhism-related disinformation abounds in university classes. Misinformation about Buddhism abounds in publications with a Buddhist theme. Even Buddhism-related english-speaking [sic] Reddit boards are prone to carry false information.
Buddhism is constantly distorted in the same way: to make it more agreeable to Abrahamic faiths(especially Christianity in the west) [sic]. To imply that it is subject to Western standards, Western religion, and Western consumerism and materialism.
…Asian teachers are frequently excluded from English-speaking Buddhist places (meditation centers, university forums, periodicals). Asians make up the majority of Buddhists in the United States, despite the fact that popular images of Buddhism in the West make it appear otherwise. In the minds of Westerners, Buddhism is a religion of white converts. They don't even pay attention to the odd lack of Asians in some Buddhist areas. (u/Tendai-Student)
It is no wonder that I went through a phase when I was a weeaboo with “yellow fever”. The Westerner commodifies and commercializes these Buddhist practices and East Asian customs like they do with several other cultures. Its misuse and stealing of Buddhism is the worst because its teachings are for us to end suffering by ridding ourselves of the three poisons: greed, ignorance, and hatred (which the Westerner promotes).
My realization of this drew me away from the West, similar to when my obsession with the East began. The difference is that my interest in the East now is not because of a fantasy born out of misguidance, especially not a sexual one. I now know that there is more to the East than its pop culture. But I cannot help thinking that none of this would have happened and I would better understand Buddhism had I been born to and raised by Buddhists in East Asia, or even a majority Buddhist country in South or Southeast Asia.
However, the possibility of a cycle starting with a yo-yoing fetishization of the East makes me anxious. When I realized what I was doing at first was fetishization, I did further research and found out that the West is to blame for its portrayal of the East in its media. This in turn makes me denounce the West and brings me back towards my obsession with the Sinosphere, which could lead to more fetishization.
Despite this, I am glad that at the very least, my interest is more than just wanting to live a kawaii lifestyle, hoping to have a “submissive housewife who will look young forever”, or all that neckbeard squick. I do have to say that there is something else that is drawing me towards the Sinosphere, not to mention that it is the region where Buddhism is dominant (the same is true to a lesser extent with the Indosphere). Even though I am not a huge fan of tradition since I am very progressive, when a region’s culture gets something right, they get it right. In addition to Buddhist values, the Sinosphere holds education and collectivism to a high degree. It is no wonder I find their people so much more intelligent and caring than people from my culture.
It is common knowledge that countries such as Japan, China, South Korea, and Singapore have the highest average IQs. To add to this (unbeknownst to many), even less developed countries, e.g. Mongolia, with high Buddhist populations around the same region, have average IQs higher than developing and undeveloped nations outside the region. The most agreed upon reason for this is cultural factors rather than genetic or economic factors. To conclude, Buddhism combined with values in the East Asian cultural sphere creates the best “brains” to represent humanity, thus the West should make way for them, especially considering the East’s superior collectivism.
Of course cultures do not stay the same forever because they change over time. One big thing that is different now in the Sinosphere and Indosphere (the latter I am mentioning because it is where Buddhism came from, though it is not as dominant in the cultural region as it was) is that they are generally much more patriarchal and anti-LGBT+ than they were up until the last several centuries. However, Buddhism treats same-sex relations and being transgender the same as heterosexuality and being cisgender (preferring celibacy among monastics, though depending on the school of Buddhism, those in the monastic order may be treated as their birth gender, even if they are transgender), and in addition, the Buddha taught that women are just as capable of attaining enlightenment as men. Even outside of Buddhism, there are records of same-sex relations as early as the Shang dynasty in China and the temple walls in Khajuraho, India depict homosexual activity. As for feminism, China was matrilineal until the Han dynasty era, when Confucianism and filial piety became mainstream in the area, while India, home to over 100 different ethnic communities, has had a few matriarchal and egalitarian societies pre-European colonization. In the modern era, numerous people in the two cultural spheres are becoming more supportive of gender equality and the LGBT+, which in some cases may be due to Westernization (not that it redeems it) or simply the individuals’ progressive political views not influenced by Western culture.
What has stayed the same for the most part, besides Buddhism, is the Sinosphere’s and Indosphere’s value of collectivism in honor-shame societies and the former cultural sphere’s emphasis on education; this is what Westerners, as well as people all over the world, need for themselves. If the West is going to fall due to hyperconsumerism, late stage capitalism, and uneducated leaders, those living in the West would be better off joining Buddhism and assimilating to the East. Arguably, the best way to do this is to move to a majority Buddhist country, preferably one in the Sinosphere (its core countries being China, Japan, the Koreas, Taiwan, and Vietnam). Leave everybody you know from your home behind, especially non-Buddhists. Just to make things clear, Westerners are not necessarily evil and it is not their fault they were raised in a Western culture, but having these people in your life will hold you back from collectivism, quality education free of anti-intellectual quackery, and above all, understanding the dharma.
After you have left everybody in your life and started anew, you can immerse yourself in the culture. Again, abandoning Western food, media, clothing, and especially inventions and scientific breakthroughs is very unnecessary. Your main focus is reprogramming your mind to think like a person (specifically a Buddhist person) in the Sinosphere/Indosphere, utilizing the high educational standards, putting the collective over the individual, and taking refuge in the Triple Gem. Before moving, though, it is best to make yourself familiar with the customs and learn the language of the place you are moving to. To aid your assimilation, it would not hurt to start dating one of the locals who strongly identifies with the culture, regardless of their race. Someone living there who is not ethnically East, South, or Southeast Asian who is still very involved in the culture would be very helpful to your assimilation as one who is ethnically East, South, or Southeast Asian (I am clarifying this to discourage racial fetishization). This may be difficult as you would have to win over approval from their parents, let alone convince them to see you as another Easterner, but if you manage to do so, that would be fantastic. To make things easier, you could plan to move to a country where people treat women as equals and are relatively accepting of the LGBT+ so you would not have to worry about gender roles or whatever. Think of places in the Sinosphere such as Singapore, Taiwan, Japan, Hong Kong, or if you are planning on going to the Indosphere (which is not too big of a step down) since they did give us Buddhism after all, Nepal and Thailand. Your most important goal, however, is to rewire your brain to think in a more Sinic or Indic way and be more in touch with Buddhism.
You can hardly consider yourself a Westerner if you manage to do so, being Western only in your country of origin (and possibly race as well). I am definitely not like those other “people” from the West who strongly cling to Western culture because they just do not understand. Western cultural merit is almost solely from the proxy of our ancestors’ inventions, scientific discoveries, and political revolutions. Considering that the West is being brought towards the wrong direction in the modern era, we should get out of there culturally, if not physically, until it all hits the fan.
If the West continues its defilement of the rest of the world, when it falls, it will bring it all down with it. We must not lose or else everybody loses.
This pressure has a good side; because the bigger the great threat becomes, the more we will push ourselves to assimilate and raise children to fight for us. Considering the infectability of Western anti-intellectualism and “main character syndrome”, how could our Western peers know better? Buddhism is not a proselytizing “religion”, so our best bet is eliminating the promoter of the three poisons, the Westerner (especially the Christian Westerner), from our own lives. How it will run to us as its society collapses under itself and we welcome it to assimilate but say “we told you so”! The older I get, the better I know the Westerner. The better I know the Westerner, the easier it gets to excuse hostility against them, especially from the Sinosphere.
From my perspective, the ones to blame are not the angry, low-middle class white males in the rural United States nor the boba conservative bananas and right-wing coconuts who suck up to the West’s biggest scum, but rather the ones who have brainwashed them to fall for chauvinism, reactionarism, and laissez faire capitalism.
Realizing this, I am now closely investigating the sources of these beliefs which make up the foundation of social Darwinism and, when combined with totalitarian thinking, capitalist fascism. This is after I noticed that these systems are unsustainable and would destroy themselves from the inside out. The slow, painful destruction of communities who fall victim to them are well known to me. If one looks carefully, they can see the consequences that have been unfolding since the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic. You may wonder: were the founders aware of this? My guess would be that they were not but were evil nonetheless because they were too selfish to think about the future, their descendants.
If this is the case, then it is the duty of us, the opponents of these ideologies, to spread the word faster than the ideologies are currently spreading in the West. It is hard for me to believe it is not the case considering that both Western political ideologies are fundamentally reactionary. Besides, I doubt they would want civilization as we know it to collapse.
I have a social Darwinist as a maternal uncle who sometimes meets with my parents, maternal grandfather, and younger brother and with his political conversations, often sourced from flawed studies, Russian news, and 4chan, I can easily study the principles of its theories. Both of my parents are also conservatives who support Trump and other immoral American politicians. Being raised by the two of them, I bet I could disguise myself as a Western right-wing traditionalist, maybe even a social Darwinist, since I know the way they speak, to whom they flock to, and how to make them give one their full attention. It would probably be easy to do this as some right-wing grifters can fool American right-wing audiences into thinking that they share the same beliefs (e.g. Thomas MacDonald).
Their kind are gullible because they do not listen to fact checkers and often do not do research to see if who they are listening to really practices what they preach.
Even though there are Westerners who are not like this, the West cannot coexist with Buddhism, let alone the cultures where it is dominant, as the West ruled by colonizing tirthikas and it will likely always be for as long as it lasts. And just because their culture is not as viable as the one founded on Buddhist, Sinic, or even Indic values does not give them the right to imperialize the rest of the world and bring it down with them. We can welcome the Westerner willing to change its ways, turn it into one of an Easterner, and have its culture go through a quick and painless demise, or the Westerner can continue its power trip, destroy everything it touches along with itself, and society will suffer a slow and painful death. This is what the conclusion that I have come to so far as I examine capitalist fascism and Westerners’ connection to it.
The Western doctrine of capitalist fascism rejects an aspect of maitrī, fulfilling beings’ basic needs, and substitutes it for a privilege towards the bourgeoisie and the exploitation of the workers’ labor (also known as Vergegenständlichung or “objectification”). Thus it denies the worth of the collective, only concerns itself with greedy individuals, and thus is immoral. Unlike what the non-Buddhist capitalist wants people to believe, all beings have an altruistic Buddha nature, but it is corrupted, being difficult to notice as it has only conditions without a beginning (listed in the Avijjā Sutta). Abandoning capitalism, both fascist and non-fascist, gives power to the people as it ensures a more guaranteed right to life instead of having not even one thousand billionaires own more than half of Earth’s population combined, more than each one of those billionaires could ever spend in their lifetimes.
Should the Westerner, especially one who pushes capitalist fascism, strengthen its grip on humanity, it can be said that it would make its own naraka.
And so I stand by my plan and encourage others to do the same because it is in the name of the Unsurpassable Enlightened One. By protecting our kind against the Westerner, we are defending the Triple Gem.
If it is not already clear, the disapproval I feel towards the societal values and prevailing norms of the West has led me to question my place in this environment. I believe that meaningful change can only be fostered if the West is put into its place and the Sino-Buddhist East motivates our minds.
In Vietnam, where the culture is predominantly Sinic with some Indic aspects and little European influence, we can see the promotion of quality education, collectivism, and Buddhism (practiced by a forgivable 15% of the population), very unlike the nearby country of the Philippines. In the Philippines, its citizens cling to the Anglo-Saxon and Hispanic culture brought to the country by American and Spaniard imperialists. The effects of this are very clear in their average IQs (Vietnam: 89.53 vs. Philippines: 81.64) and PISA scores (Vietnam: 1403 vs. Philippines: 1058). They are both developing countries in Southeast Asia that were colonized by the West, but because Vietnam kept its culture more pure and stuck to Buddhism (or at least Sinic philosophies), its people are better educated compared to the nearby Westernized countries in a similar economic situation.
In short, Westernization leads to the following:

1. The native culture becomes diluted
2. If Western thinking intrudes, mental degeneration takes hold of the native population and its society slowly degrades along with the West itself as it eats itself from the inside out

Those who cause this to happen must be stopped, especially those who endanger Buddhism. We must not wait for the fruition of their karma for their sacrilege of the Tathagata’s teachings because by then it would be too late, and even if it is instant karma, every bodhisattva’s job is to end suffering.
Those who spread the harmful ideologies bring themselves and others away from the Buddha’s word are polluting humanity by having them join their rat race that will only end in their own demise. They are leading to the ruin of many and thus, I do not consider them to be human but instead parasites.
There is a disgraceful Western belief that for a short amount of time was not held by the majority but is now very pervasive in the West and also is the foundation of reactionarism, chauvinism, and capitalism in all cultures. It says: “My individual rights matter the most and freedom means my right to violate the rights of others.”
This Western babble is followed by numerous all around the world and sows disharmony in societies where it becomes the norm. This idea provides basis for several types of Westerners, including but not limited to:

• the “Karen”; a middle-aged, entitled, often white and anti-mask/anti-vaccine female who makes trivial complaints
• the “Chud”; a racist, misogynistic, right-wing male (usually young) who browses 4chan everyday and has a high likelihood of becoming a mass shooter
• the dayangma (Hanzi: 大洋马); a sex-obsessed young adult Western female, majority white but sometimes POC, is conventionally attractive (to Westerners), sleeps around, and in some cases creates spawn that do not know their father(s)
• the angry white male; self-explanatory, right-wing and traditionalist (sometimes a social Darwnist or capitalist fascist), commonly rural, evangelical Christian and have never seen a POC before
• the “Trad Wife”; a prudish, sometimes uneducated, female who lets Western males walk all over it and raises spawn who are likely to become angry whites
• the New Agehippy; generally a teenager or young adult, a well-meaning but poorly educated white liberal or social democrat who misappropriates Buddhism and appeases Muslims
• the AmeriKKKan fathegrandfather; a middle-aged to elderly, chauvinist male with children, sometimes also grandchildren, and is unconcerned about social justice and similarly to the “Karen”, falls for pseudoscientific conspiracy theories
• the neckbearded otaku (Hiragana: おたく); a hairy white male with “yellow fever” and mediocre hygiene, for the most part subreddit/Discord server moderators who stalk and kidnap East Asian ladies (if not teenage girls)

The growth of these groups is evidence of the degradation of Western culture, showing that it must retire as the dominant culture and make way for the much more sustainable East. Once the manuṣya realm on Earth is completely tainted by the West, Buddhas can no longer arise in the world because the dharma would be known by nobody and the Vinaya are forgotten or destroyed.
The future generation will not remember the dharma unless we halt the growth of the parasitic culture that promotes overconsumption, hyperindividualism, and anti-intellectualism.
The Westerner has a remarkable contrast to the Sinic or Indic. The Westerner has a grasp on this world so strong with its weaponry since the 16th century, using force to disrupt the traditional lives of whatever native people it saw, safe for those in a few countries (even though some of those countries are still being Westernized). The Dutch, English, French, Portuguese, and Spanish built colonies from the Americas to Southeast Asia. The kingdoms were blessed with powerful militaries, strong economies, stable governments, and advanced technology that allowed their cultures to spread. But after half a millennium and looking back, was any of this really earned? And is the Westerner’s conquest over yet?
Since the Great Schism of Christianity, the Westerner trained itself for roughly one thousand years. It trained itself in several aspects, but it forgot an important piece, the dharma. The cunning Westerner, blessed with advancements, used them to tyrannize other peoples on a scale never before seen. This was the beginning of the Latter Day of the Dharma. The dharma is declining because of the savage Westerner. And so, it leeched off of any people it got a hold of, including predominantly Buddhist peoples. Even during the decolonization of the 20th century, fundamentalist Christianity spread and threatened the dharma. To make matters worse, previously Buddhist peoples clung to Christianity as taught by their colonizers; the French in Vietnam and the Spanish and Americans in the Philippines. To this day, the Philippines is a lost cause along with its majority Muslim neighbors in Maritime Southeast Asia. The cunning Westerner turned the Filipino against us and now Buddhists make up only 2% of the Philippines’ population. Now, the Westerner sees Buddhism as nothing more than an aesthetic, a self-help lifestyle, or a decoration that they can commercialize and cherry pick aspects to integrate into their religion or lack thereof.
It is excellent for someone from the West to learn the dharma as this will turn them into a more compassionate and wise person, but they must not enforce the Western gaze onto it and discard parts of the Shakyamuni Buddha’s words they do not like. To be fair, some aspects of Buddhism would be nearly impossible for a Westerner to understand unless they assimilate.
Buddhism is not materialist or blind belief without evidence and it belongs to the East, so stop pretending to be something you are not while pushing stereotypes of Asian Buddhists.
However, even though Buddhism is not materialist or very in line with the Western worldview, it is uniquely human. Walpola Rahula, a Sri Lankan Buddhist monk and writer explains it this way:
Among the founders of religions the Buddha (if we are permitted to call him the founder of a religion in the popular sense of the term) was the only teacher who did not claim to be other than a human being, pure and simple. Other teachers were either God, or his incarnations in different forms, or inspired by him. The Buddha was not only a human being; he claimed no inspiration from any god or external power either. He attributed all his realization, attainments and achievements to human endeavour and human intelligence. A man and only a man can become Buddha. Every man has within himself the potentiality of becoming a Buddha, if he so wills it and endeavours. We can call the Buddha a man par excellence. He was so perfect in his 'human-ness' that he came to be regarded later in popular religion almost as 'super-human'. Man's position, according to Buddhism, is supreme. Man is his own master, and there is no higher being or power that sits in judgment over his destiny. (Rahula 3)
How could one even consider the Westerners who diluted Buddhism human themselves at this point? If it were not for them, Westerners may have a better understanding of the teachings of the “man par excellence”. We are lucky that the only Westerners who necessarily see us as inferior are white nationalists and fundamentalist Christians, otherwise the Westerner could have committed a genocide that would have left millions of us dead. Westerners are competitive beings, so they rarely act in concord towards each other. It is only when there is something that draws them together or away from a common danger.
If everybody on Earth becomes a Westerner, they would wallow in their shamelessness and would have nobody left to exploit except for each other until they destroy themselves.
Until they are the only ones left, they will vilify and exploit anything non-Western until they only have each other, then leading to a chaotic world of undignified militaries, economic inequality, corrupt governments, and little or no innovations.
Unless the Westerner considers even the slightest of inspiration from the East, it will continue to follow hyperindividualism and have apathy towards its education. That is why the West is falling. Those from the West who are smart enough to realize that the West’s flaws that it spreads are deciding that the West is not worth maintaining and its resignation is overdue. If those from the West abandon it to assimilate to the East, it would make the West’s death quicker but more dignified.
This is more than a fad but rather the realization that Western society would be best being a passing fad itself. The West gave us great inventions, food, clothes, scientific discoveries, etc. and once it is gone, the East can pick up where it left off just fine.
We will never abandon the Triple Gem because we recognize it to be more than a spiritual, exotic aesthetic or trend. To do so would make us just like those others in the West who Asian Buddhists look down upon. When the time is right, each and every one of us will surround ourselves with the people who know the dharma better than anyone you have met in the West and we can finally be at their level. We shall be Western only in our country of origin and/or race, but in every other way, we will be Easterners; Buddhist Easterners who will take back what rightfully belongs to us.
When we (and hopefully Buddhists outside of both the Eastern and the Western world) do this, consumerism will lose some of its biggest prey. Even though it may not seem like it at first considering we are abandoning everyone we have ever known, we are doing our ancestors a favor by joining the culture that strives towards the end of suffering. We will be leaving our cultures’ ways of thinking behind, but doing this will save face for our lineage, especially the Western lineage as we would be preventing the creation of more “Karens”, “Chuds”, dayangmas, “neckbeards”, and other degenerates. We will not be annoying dorky nerds and certainly not “neckbeards” who are overly obsessed with and fetishize the culture but people making an effort to get closer to the dharma and surrender to the East.
Although we are collectivists, we must seek personal liberation first for the good of other beings. Once the West collapses and its former supporters come running to us, we shall welcome them. If some do not recognize this before it is too late, well boo hoo! They will have a better birth with the world we will create. Some of them, especially their unlucky spawn, would probably be better off dead and reborn into a better life, maybe even the Pure Land.
The way it is looking now, the West is falling and becoming the world’s laughingstock, which is a good thing. The quicker it falls, the less painful it will be for the Westerner and everybody else. Western culture will not be missed, but we can keep the best of it and continue the innovations that the creators would wish to see. We will remember the legacy of them and be thankful while never forgiving or forgetting the ones who ruined the West.
Works Cited
“Ignorance Avijjā Sutta (AN 10:61).” Translated by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu. Dhammatalks. 2017, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/AN/AN10_61.html. Accessed 31 May 2024.
Gabbe. “Western Culture.” Wikipedia. 25 May 2024. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_culture#:~:text=The%20core%20of%20Western%20civilization,Roman%20civilization%20and%20Western%20Christianity. Accessed 31 May 2024.
Rahula Thero, Walpola. What the Buddha Taught. Oneworld Publications, 1959. Accessed 31 May 2024.
u/Tendai-Student. “栄真Eishin (u/Tendai-Student).” Reddit, 31 May 2024, https://www.reddit.com/useTendai-Student/. Accessed 31 May 2024.
u/Tendai-Student. “Buddhism is being MISREPRESENTED in the West Marginalisation, cultural appropriation, misconceptions and what you can do.” Reddit, 2023, https://www.reddit.com/WrongBuddhism/comments/14zc6xg/buddhism_is_being_misrepresented_in_the_west/. Accessed 31 May 2024.

This is an unaccustomed spectacle. For the first time, fellow-citizens, badges of mourning shroud the columns and overhang the arches of this hall. These walls, which were consecrated, so long ago, to the cause of American liberty, which witnessed her infant struggles and rung with the shouts of her earliest victories, proclaim, now, that distinguished friends and champions of that great cause have fallen. It is right that it should be thus. The tears which flow, and the honors that are paid, when the founders of the republic die, give hope that the republic itself may be immortal. It is fit that, by public assembly and solemn observance, by anthem and by eulogy, we commemorate the services of national benefactors, extol their virtues, and render thanks to God for eminent blessings, early given and long continued, through their agency, to our favored country.
ADAMS and JEFFERSON are no more; and we are assembled, fellow-citizens, the aged, the middle-aged, and the young, by the spontaneous impulse of all, under the authority of the municipal government, with the presence of the chief magistrate of the Commonwealth, and others its official representatives, the University, and the learned societies, to bear our part in these manifestations of respect and gratitude which pervade the whole land. ADAMS and JEFFERSON are no more. On our fiftieth anniversary, the great day of national jubilee, in the very hour of public rejoicing, in the midst of echoing and reechoing voices of thanksgiving, while their own names were on all tongues, they took their flight together to the world of spirits.
If it be true that no one can safely be pronounced happy while he lives, if that event which terminates life can alone crown its honors and its glory, what felicity is here! The great epic of their lives, how happily concluded! Poetry itself has hardly terminated illustrious lives, and finished the career of earthly renown, by such a consummation. If we had the power, we could not wish to reverse this dispensation of the Divine Providence. The great objects of life were accomplished, the drama was ready to be closed. It has closed; our patriots have fallen; but so fallen, at such age, with such coincidence, on such a day, that we cannot rationally lament that the end has come, which we knew could not be long deferred.
Neither of these great men, fellow-citizens, could have died, at any time, without leaving an immense void in our American society. They have been so intimately, and ofr so long a time, blended with the history of the country, and especially so united, in our thoughts and recollections, with the events of the Revolution, that the death of either of them would have touched the chords of public sympathy. We should have felt that one great link, connecting us with former times, was broken; that we had lost something more, as it were, of the presence of the Revolution itself, and of the act of independence, and were driven on, by another great remove from the days of our country’s early distinction, to meet posterity and to mix with the future. Like the mariner, whom the currents of the ocean and the winds carry along until he sees the stars which have directed his course and lighted his pathless way descend one by one, beneath the rising horizon, we should have felt that the stream of time had borne us onward till another great luminary, whose light had cheered us and whose guidance we had followed, had sunk away from our sight.
But the concurrence of their death on the anniversary of Independence has naturally awakened stronger emotions. Both had been President, both had lived to great age, both were early patriots, and both were distinguished and ever honored by their immediate agency in the act of independence. It cannot but seem striking and extraordinary, that these two should live to see the fiftieth year from the date of that act/ that they should complete that yea and that then, on the day which had fast linked for ever their own fame with their country’s glory, the heavens should open to receive them both at once. As their lives themselves were the gifts of Providence, who is not willing to recognize in their happy termination, as well as in their long continuance, proofs that our country and its benefactors are objects of His care?
ADAMS and JEFFERSON, I have said, are no more. As human beings, indeed, they are no more. They are no more, as in 1776, bold and fearless advocates of independence; no more, as at subsequent periods, the head of the government; nor more, as we have recently seen them, aged and venerable objects of admiration and regard. They are no more. They are dead. But how little is there of the great and gooe which can die! To their country they yet live, and live for ever. They live in all that perpetuatesw the remembrance of men on earth; in the recorded proofs of their own great actions, in the offspring of their intellect, in the deep-engraved lines of public gratitude, and in the respect and homage of mankind. They live in their example; and they live, emphatically, and will live, in the influence which their lives and efforts, their principles and opinions, now exerciese, and will continue to exercise, on the affairs of men, not only in their own country but throughout the civilized world. A superior and commanding human intellect, a truly great man, when Heaven vouchsafes so rare a gift, is not a temporary flame, burning brightly for a while, and then giving place to returning darkness. It is rather a spark of fervent heat, as well as radiant light, with power to enkindle the common mass of human kind; so that when it glimmers in its own decay, and finally goes out in death, no night follows, but it leaves the world all light, all on fire from the potent contact of its own spirit. Bacon died; but the human understanding, roused by the touch of his miraculous wand to a perception of the true philosophy and the just mode of inquiring after truth, has kept on its course successfully and gloriously. Newton died; yet the courses of the spheres are still known, and they yet move on by the laws which he discovered, and in the orbits which he saw, and described for them, in the infinity of space.
No two men now live, fellow-citizen, perhaps it may be doubted whether any two men have ever lived in one age, who, more than those we now commemorate, have impressed on mankind their own opinions more deeply into the opinions of others, or given a more lasting direction to the current of human thought. Their work doth not perish with them. The tree which they assisted to plant will flourish, although they water it and protect it no longer; for it has struck its roots deep, it has sent them to the very centre; no storm, not of foce to burth the orb, can overturn it; its branches spread wide; they stretch their protecting arms braoder and broader, and its top is destined to reach the heavens. We are not deceived. There is no delusion here. No age will come in which the American Revolution will appear less than it is, one of the greatest events in human history. No age will come in which it shall cease to be seen and felt, on either continent, that a mighty step, a great advance, not only in American affairs, but in human affairs, was made on the 4th of July, 1776. And no age will come, we trust, so ignorant or so unjust as not to see and acknowledge the efficient agency of those we now honor in producing that momentous event.
We are not assembled, therefore, fellow-citizens, as men overwhelmed with calamity by the sudden disruption of the ties of friendship or affection, or as in despair for the republic by the untimely blighting of its hopes. Death has not surprised us by an unseasonable blow. We have, indeed, seen the tomb close, but it has closed only over mature years, over long-protracted public service, over the weakness of age, and over life itself only when the ends of living had been fulfilled. These suns, as they rose slowly and steadily, amidst clouds and storms, in their ascendant, so they have not rushed from the meridian to sink suddenly in the west. Like the mildness, the serenity, the continuing benignity of a summer’s day, they have gone down with slow-descending, grateful long-lingering light; and now that they are beyond the visible margin of the world, good omens cheer us from “the bright track of thier fiery car”!
There were many points of similarity in the lives and fortunes of these great men. They belonged to the same profession, and had pursued its studies and its practice for unequal lengths of time indeed, but with dilligence and effect. Both were learned and able lawyers. They were natives and inhabitants, respectively of those two of the Colonies which at the Revolution were the largest and most powerful and which naturally had a lead in the political affairs of the times. When the Colonies became in some degree united by the assembling of a general Congress, they were brought to act together in its deliberations, not indeed at the same time but both at early periods. Each had laready manifested his attachment to the cause of the country, as well as his ability to maintain it, by printed addresses, public speeches, extensive correspondence, and whatever other mode could be adopted for the purpose of exposing the encroachments of the British Parliament, and animating the people to a manly resistance. Both were not only decided, but early, friends of Independence. While others yet doubted, they were resolved; where others hesitated they pressed forward. They were both members of the committee for preparing the Declaration of Independence, and they constituted the sub-committee appointed by the other members to make the draft. They left their seats in Congress, being called to other public employments at periods not remote from each other, although one of them returned to it afterwards for a short time. Neither of them was of the assembly of great men which formed the present Constitution, and neither was at any time a member of Congress under its provisions. Both have been public ministers abroad, both Vice-Presidents and both Presidents of the United States. These coincidences are now singularly crowned and completed. They have died together; and they did on the anniversary of liberty…
And now, fellow-citizens, without pursuing the biography of these illustrious men further, for the present let us turn our attention to the most prominent act of their lives, their participation in the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE…
It has sometimes been said, as if it were a derogation from the merits of this paper, that it contains nothing new; that it only states grounds of proceeding and presses topics of argument, which had often been stated and pressed before. But it was not the object of the Declaration to produce any thing new. It was not to invent reasons for independence, but to state those which governed the Congress. For great and sufficient causes, it was proposed to declare independence; and the proper business of the paper to be drawn was to set for th those causes, and justify the authors of the measure, in any event of fortune, to mthe country and to posterity. The cause of American independence, moreover, was now to be presented to the world in such manner; of it might so be, as to engage its sympathy, to command its respect, to attract its admiration; and in an assembly of most able and distinguished men, THOMAS JEFFERSON had the high honor of being the selected advocate of this cause. To say that he performed his great work well, would be doing him an injustice. To say that he did excellently well, admirably well, would be inadequate and halting praise. Let us rather say, that he so discharged the duty assigned him, that all Americans may well rejoice that the work of drawing the title-deed of their liberties devolved upon him…
The Congress of the Revolution, fellow-citizens, sat with closed doors, and no report of its debates was ever made. The discussion, therefore, which accompanied this great measure, has never been preserved, except in memory and by tradition. But it is, I believe, doing to injustice to others to say, that the general opinion was, and uniformly has been, that in debate, on the side of independence, JOHN ADAMS had no equal. The great author of the Declaration himself has espressed that opinion uniformly and strongly. JOHN ADAMS, said he, in the hearing of him who has now the honor to address you, JOHN ADAMS was our colossus on the floor. Not graceful, not elegant, not always fluent, in his public addresses, he yet came out with a power both of thought and of expression, which moved us from our seats…
The eloquence of Mr. Adams resembled his general character, and formed, indeed, a part of it. It was bold, manly, and energetic; and such the crisis required. When public bodies are to be addressed on passions excited, nothing is valuable in speech farther than as it is connected with high intellectual and moral endowments. Clearness, force, and earnestness are the qualities which produce conviction. True eloquence, indeed, does not consist in speech. It cannot be brought from far. Labor and learning may toil for it, but they will toil in vain. It must exist in the man, in the subject, and in the occassion. Affected passion, intense expression, the pomp of declamation, all may aspire to it; they cannot reach it. It comes, if it comes at all, like the outbreaking of a fountain from the earth, or the bursting forth of volcanic fires, with spontaneous, original, native force. The graces taught in the schools, the costly ornaments and studied contrivances of speech, shock and disgust men, when their own lives and the fate of their wives, their children, and their country hang on the decision of the hour. Then words have lost their power, rhetoric is vain, and all elaborate oratory contemptible. Even genius itself then feels rebuked and subdued, as in the presence of higher qualities. Then patriotism is eloquent; then self-devotion is eloquent. The clear conception, outrunning the deductions of logic, the high purpose, the firm resolve, the dauntless spirit, speaking on the tongue, beaming from the eye, informing every feature, and urging the whole man onward, right onward to his object this, this is eloquence; or rather it is something greater and higher than all eloquence, it is action, noble, sublime godlike action…
Let us, then, bring before us the assembly, which was about to decide a question thus big with the fate of empire. Let us open their doors and look upon their deliberations. Let us survey the anxious and care-worn countenances, let us hear the firm-toned voices, of this band of patriots.
HANCOCK presides over the solemn sitting; and one of those not yet prepared to pronounce for absolute independence is on the floor, and is urging his reasons for dissenting from the declaration.
“Let us pause! This step, once taken, cannot be retracted. This resolution, once passed, will cut off all hope of reconciliation. If success attend the arms of England, we shall then be no longer Colonies, with charters and with privileges; these will all be forfeited by this act; and we shall be in the condition of other conquered people, at the mercy of the conquerors. For ourselves, we may be ready to run the hazard; but are we ready to carry the country to that length? Is success so probably as to justify it? Where is the military, where the naval power, by which we are to resist the whole strength of the arm of England, for she will exert that strength to the utmost? Can we rely on constancy and perseverance of the people? or will they not act as the people of other countries have acted and, wearied with a long war, submit, in the end, to a worse oppression? While we stand on our old ground, and insist on redress of grievances, we know we are right, and are not answerable for consequences. Nothing, then, can be imputed to us. But if we now change our object, carry our pretensions farther, and set up for absolute indpendence, we shall lose the sympathy of mankind. We shall no longer be defending what we possess, but struggling for something which we never did possess, and which we have solemnly and uniformly disclaimed all intention of pursuing, from the very outset of the troubles. Abandoning thus our old ground, of resistance only to arbitrary acts of oppression, thee nations will believe the whole to have been mere pretence, and they will look on us, not as injured, buut as ambitious subjects. I shudder before this responsibility. It will be on us, if, relinquishing the ground on which we have stood so long, and stood so safely, we now proclaim independence, and carry on the war for that object, while these cities burn, these pleasant fields whiten and bleach with the bones of their owners, and these streams run blood. It will be upon us, it will be upon us, if, failing to maintain this unseasonable and ill-judged declaration, a sterner despotism, maintained by military power, shall be exhausted, a harassed, misled people, shall have expiated our rashness and atoned for our presumption on the scaffold.”
It was for Mr. Adams to reply to arguments like these. We know his opinions, and we know his character. He would commence with his accustomed directness and earnestness.
“Sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish, I give my hand and my heart to this vote. It is true, indeed, that in the beginning we aimed not at independence. But there’s a Divinity which shapes our ends. The injustice of England has driven us to arms; and blinded to her own interest for our good, she has obstinately persisted, till independence is now within our grasp. We have but to reach forth to it, and it is ours. Why, then, should we defer the Declaration? Is any man so weak as now to hope for a reconciliation with England, which shall leave either safety to the country and its liberties, or safety to his own life and his own honor? Are not you, Sir, who sit in that chair, is not he, our venerable colleague near you, are you not both already the proscribed and predestined objects of punishment and of vengeance? Cut off from all hope of royal clemency, what are you, what can you be, while the power of England remains, but outlaws? If we postpone independence, do we mean to carry on, or to give up, the war? Do we mean to submit to the measures of Parliament, Boston Port Bill and all? Do we mean to submit, and consent that we ourselves shall be ground to poweder, and our country and its rights trodden down in the dust? I know we do not mean to submit. We shall never submit. Do we intend to violate that most solemn obligation ever entered into men, that plighting, before God, of our sacred honor to Washington, when, putting forth to incure the dangers of war, as well as the political hazards of our times, we promised to adhere to him, in ever extremity, with our fortunes and our lives? I know there is not a man here, who would not rather see a general conflagration sweep over the land, or an earthquake sink it, than one jot or tittle of that plighted fiath fall to the ground. For myself, having, twelve months ago, in this place, moved you, that George Washington be appointed commander of the forces raised, or to be raised, for defence of American liberty, may my right hand forget her cunning, and my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I hesitate or waver in the support I give him… ”
And now, fellow-citizens, let us not retire from this occasion without a deep and solemn conviction of the duties which have developed upon us. This lovely land, this glorious liberty, these benign institutions, the dear purchase of our fathers, are ours; ours to enjoy, ours to preserve, ours to transmit. Generations past and generations to come hold us responsible for this sacred trust. Our fathers, from behind, admonish us, with their anxious paternal voices; posterity calls out to us, from the bosom of the future; the world turns hither its solicitous eyes; all, conjure us to act wisely, and faithfully, in the relation which we sustain.
We can never, indeed, pay the debt which is upon us; but by virtue, by morality, by religion, by the cultivation of every good principle and every good habit, we may hope to enjoy the blessing, through our day, and to leave it unimpaired to our children. Let us feel deeply how much of what we are and of what we possess we owe to this liberty, and to these institutions of government. Nature has, indeed, given us a soil which yields bounteously to the hand of industry, the mighty and fruitful ocean is before us, and the skies over our heads shed health and vigor. But what are lands, and seas, and skies, to civilized man, without society, without knowledge, without morals, without religious culture; and how can these be enjoyed, in all their extent and all their excellence, but under the protection of wise institutions and a free government? Fellow-citizens, there is not one of us, there is not one of us here present, who does not, at this moment, and at every moment, experience, in his own condition, and in the condition of those most near and dear to him, the influence and the benefits, of this liberty and these institutions. Let us then acknowledge the blessing, let us feel it deeply and powerfully, let us cherish a strong affection for it, and resolve to maintain and perpetuate it. The blood of our fathers, let it not have been shed in vain; the great hope of posterity, let it not be blasted.
The striking attitude, too, in which we stand to the world around us, a topic to which, I fear, I advert too often, and dwell on too long, cannot be altogether ommited here. Neither individuals nor nations can perform their part well, until they understand and feel its importance, and comprehend and justly appreciate all the duties belonging to it. It is not to inflate national vanity, nor to swell a light and empty feeling of self-importance, but it is that we may judge justly of our situation, and of our own duties, that I earnestly urge you upon this consideration of our position and our character among the nations of the earth. It cannot be denied, but by those who would dispute against the sun, that with America, and in America, a new era commences in human affairs. This era is distinguised by free representative governments, by entire religious liberty, by improved systems of national intercourse, by a newly awakened and unconquerable spirit of free inquiry, and by a diffusion of knowledge through the community, such as has been before altogether unknown and unheard of America, America, our country, fellow-citizens, our own dear and native land, is inseparably connected, fast bound up, in fortune and by fate, with these great interests. If they fall, we fall with them; if they stand, it will be because we have maintained them. Let us contemplate, then, this connection, which binds the prosperity of others to our own; and let us manfully discharge all the duties which it imposes. If we cherish the virtues and the principles of our fathers, Heaven will assist us to carry on the work of human liberty and human happiness. Auspicious omens cheer us. Great examples are before us. Our own firmament now shines brightly upon our path. WASHINGTON is in the clear, upper sky. These other stars hae now joined the American Constellation; they circle round their centre, and the heavens beam with new light. Beneath this illumination let us walk the course of life, and at its close devoutly commend our beloved country, the common parent of us all, to the Divine Benignity.

• Daniel Webster, 1826

I'm going to start off by saying this. I'm not perfect. I know I fucked up and I know some people will certainly say that I deserve what I got in the end but hey, that's what this subreddit is for. All I'll say is this. I am not the hero of this story.
This happened back in 2022 when I was going through a pretty rough patch. I had lost my grandfather, I was struggling to raise my Trig and chemistry grades, and I had gotten rejected by my crush. There was a point where I also felt like my friends never really cared about me all too much since occasionally they'd treat me like the loser of the group and they'd talk about hang outs right in front of my face which really hurt so I felt like I was better off without them, leading to me jumping from friend group to friend group.
The year of 2022 just got so awful for me. Sometimes I'd act like a fool just for the sake of being noticed, leading me to being given the name "sped" by people I thought were my friends. Some "friends" told me that another guy was talking shit about me and dared me to confront him in an effort to get me to fight him. All that ended up happening was me getting humiliated. I didn't end up fighting him of course but it certainly looked like I was getting pressed. The guy never did talk shit about me, he was just getting pissed that I was listening to others. I fucking hate myself for being led on like that.
The most notable thing happened on the month of May. I was literally just two weeks away from being led out from summer vacation. A little notice but I had broken my hand in a rage induced moment I had. What was the moment you might ask? I got my mad that my neighbor had slashed my dad's tires and was just angry at the injustice of it all so I punched my couch. Hard as hell. That was fun having a sling.
So, as for the main story. I had heard a boy called Lamar talking about this girl called Jessica. Me and Lamar were acquainted prior to this and I had heard of this girl called Jessica. I had hear from a friend who had dated her in the past that she was a bit "thotty" so without thinking, my retarded dumbass asked Lamar this question,
"Isn't Jessica a thot?"
He stared at me and he instantly became enraged. He began shoving me while asking me what I had just said while I pleaded with him to chill as I truly had no idea what I had just said wrong. He pushed my hard enough to the point where I had to use my unbroken right hand to catch myself from falling on the ground. He angrily stormed off and before I could go up to him to apolgize, his friends rose up and told me that I needed to leave. I felt once again humiliated but by this point, why bother feeling bad for me.
I would later find out that Lamar was dating Jessica so I knew I had fucked up. I panicked throughout the day and began to craft a plan in which I'd simply tell Lamar that I was referring to a different Jessica and not the Jessica he was talking about. How smart of me..
This incident happened on a Friday and once Sunday night rolled around and I was beginning to doze off in bed while preparing to apologize to Lamar on Monday, I got a notification from a mutal friend asking me to get into a group chat with Lamar and a group of other mutal friends urgently.
I did so and for the next two hours, my life became a living hell. Lamar threatened to break my other hand and was even more pissed off once I tried to fool him with my plan and failed miserably. My only savior by that point was a friend who I'll just call Moy. He convinced Lamar not to do anything as otherwise, people would get angry if he decided to fight me, seeing as I was basically crippled at the time. Lamar told me to get out of the group chat and never speak to him or even look at him again or he'd beat me up. I thanked Moy for his help after this but the final two weeks were a nerve wrack for me. I felt guilt, anxiety and rage for what I had done and what had happened to me. The summer was the worst anxiety experience I ever had to deal with. Imagine waking up every day, knowing that with every day that passes, it simply brings you one day closer to having to see your attackers.
What made it worse at some point was when I had a party and my cousin Ashely came and since I had invited Moy, he decided to brag about saving me to Ashely, something that pissed me off and even after I told him to stop, he still kept on telling the story, even after I told him prior to coming not to mention it to anybody. It didn't help that I was added back into the group chat at some point and Moy jokingly told everyone that I was talking shit about them which caused Lamar to threaten to pull up to my house. I never did see what the message fully said in fear of escalating the situation but Moy later told everyone the truth which was that I had never even mentioned them. Fucking bastard..
When senior year finally rolled around, I was ready. I was preparing to fight Lamar and his friends even if they outnumbered me since the first day of school. I'm glad common sense stopped me from doing that. Some notable moments is I slowly became friends with Lamar's friends, gaines more confidence but sure as hell coped with my severe depression by cutting myself and had tons of insecurities as well.
I did have one class with Lamar and while we never interacted again we had stood very close to each other at multiple points, and had even stared at each other multiple times but this didn't stop him from trying to act like a pussy. He did still talk shit behind my back by calling me a sped on the group chat and even sprayed me with a water gun before quickly putting it away and pretending nothing happened. The incident between me and him was never mentioned again and the closest it was mentioned was when me and Moy were having an argument and he smirkingly said he had fought Lamar recently. Moy knew what he was saying and throughout the school year we had an ever decaying friendship. He simply became an asshole to deal with. I might sound entitled seeing how he did save me but that doesn't mean I'm his slave. He became a toxic person who would regularly talk shit to me and looked down upon me. I ended up hating him in the end.
The closest me and Lamar ever had another confrontation was when I did pop up in the group chat in order to comment on something and all he responded with was "who let this bitch nigga back in". I didn't want to respond knowing he'd escalate shit so I simply ignored it. I still remember him smirking while telling his friends about this when I passed by him. I so badly wanted to fight him but knew it'd be pointless as even if I did win the initial fight, the consequences would be severe as he would most likely try to jump me with his friends. The final two "encounters" I had with him was on a end of the year school trip to Universal Studios. A friend messaged me saying that he called me a bitch and considering Lamar was a on a different bus than me, well, how tough of him. The final time was on graduation when I had a sash that said "cum laude" or something like that and I could hear him mention those words while shaking his head. That was the final time I ever saw him again.
And as for me? The inital incident happened two years ago and it's been almost a full year since I've seen him. I've never told anybody about this as I know I'll look bad so I decided I had to get this off my chest eventually. I've had one LDR girlfriend who I never told but only mentioned that people had picked on me before and I told the same thing to a school therapist as well. I even told my parents that some guys had picked on me. I know I'm not being fully honest with anyone but it's better than lying. Whenever I do mention of this sort to anyone, I just mention that I had opps in high school who did fucked up shit to me without elaborating further.
I try my best not think about this but it's around summer time when I began to feel the weather turning hot that peaks up my anxiety and reminds me of this incident. I want so badly to kill Lamar and everyone else involved. The fear of knowing that if he ever got my address from Moy and potentially hurting my family reminds me that I'll never truly be safe in my own town while he lives so I know I have to kill him at some point. I'm not deeply religious but on the off chance that Hell is real, then I'll most likely go there if I do end up killing him. My hopes is that with his life style, he ends up dead or in prison. It'll feel unsatisfying but it'll give me some peace at long last.. this was a long thing to type but I'm glad I could finally share this shit about me. Thank you for reading..

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Same-Half865
AITAH for telling my husband that he should marry SIL if he is simping over her like that?
Originally posted to AITAH
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, manipulation, emotional abuse, obsessive behavior
Original Post March 23, 2024
I don’t know if my husband is doing this on purpose or if he can’t control himself but he knows that it bothers me and still does it. He thinks the sun shines out of SIL’s butt. Nothing she says or does is wrong. When we visit he would talk about her for 3-4 days afterwards like he is in trance.
We visited last weekend to see the new baby. I swear he was paying more attention to her and the baby than he ever did with me and any of our children. He was complimenting everything from how she looked, how clean the house was, the delicious food. How she even made the bread. How she remembered our favorite dishes, snacks, deserts. “You are a super woman”. I literally had it with him and said enough a couple of times but he just ignored me and she just giggled all the time and welcomed the compliments.
Now he has been talking about how great and perfect she is since we got home. I had enough so I told him to go fuck her if he is so in love. He looked at me with no expression and said very mature. I broke down and asked why he was doing this knowing that I am completely the opposite of her, to a degree that we aren’t even close.
He knows we are the opposite of each other. I am not little miss perfect. I don’t clean the windows while my infant is sleeping. I don’t cook and clean when I have just given birth and I sure can’t lose my baby weight in 3 weeks. Why is he so insensitive to my feelings? Even if it is true and I am just jealous and my jealousy is unfounded, isn’t me being hurt and uncomfortable enough for someone who supposed to love me to just stop?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
realitytvpaws

Is this his sister or his brother’s wife?

OOP

His brother’s wife

~
sickpuppysam

If you have set that clear boundary and reminded him multiple times that that makes you uncomfortable, and he continues to do so, you are NTA. Its fair for you to be upset after stating multiple times that you dont like him consistently speaking about her like that.

OOP

I did. Since I met her I have told him that

~
Icy_Reception_1785

What does your brother in law think about your husband simping over his wife? My brother and i would get physical over that kind of behavior. Thats a serious no-go.

OOP

He gets uncomfortable and looks at me. When I asked my husband if he needed a bib because he was drooling my brother in law laughed and told him off

Update May 25, 2024
So my husband has admitted that he has feelings for SIL. This time I didn’t just relent and move on from our last fight . I wanted to go to the bottom of this. I told him I wasn’t finished with this conversation and that I wanted him to tell me the truth. Yes he wants me to clean and cook more but that wasn’t just it. First he said it was just a crush, a fantasy. Then he said it was feelings.
He didn’t understand why I was upset. I asked him to tell me his private feelings. He didn’t volunteer them. Nobody knows what people really feel and even married people can have crushes and feelings about others. They were just that. Private feelings.
Except he does actually act on them. Maybe he thinks that physical cheating is the only way people act on feelings but he is wrong. In fact he acted on them so blatantly that it set the red flags off. He promised that he will be better and never hurt me again.
The question is will he be better in getting rid of his feelings or learn how to hide them better next time? And what difference does it make to me? If he is respectful and loving on the outside, do I have a right to control his inside too? How do we know where our boundaries end and theirs start?
How do I move on?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ZwTreasureBoblin

Watch, in a couple months, we'll get another update that they're fucking 🤦‍♀️
Have you tried talking to SIL? Personally I'd probably nope out of that entire situation. Dude will likely just get better at hiding it, not actually fix anything.

OOP

She’s happily married to her husband and I don’t think she gives my husband a second thought

Final Comment from OOP

Tbh, I havent decided if I want to stay in this marriage or not. This is all happening too fast and I am not sure if I want to stay with him

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Trigger Warning: This script contains mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation.
This script holds a special time that occurred years ago, meaning yes, it is a true story. I had a friend who dealt with abusive parents, as such he went as far as to even move to my house to get away with them. Sure, we weren't dating at the time, but we were close with one another (and kinda acted like we did). Even though he no longer lives with me, we still keep in touch. When writing this script, I ended up getting emotional and nearly teared up, but I got through to finishing it. Also yes, this is in line with the story involving the first few of my scripts.
As always, go ahead if you would like to use this monetization-free script under crediting my YT Handle @"AkitaScripts".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Synopsis: You and your girlfriend have been together for about a month, yet she has never visited your house nor has she ever met your parents. One night, she gets an unexpected visit from you. When asked about what’s wrong, you shrug it off and refuse to look at her. She begins to worry, and worries even more about the truth you’ve hid in your house…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(It’s a rainy night. The stars are covered by the dark clouds. Your girlfriend, the VA, is in her room, listening and humming to one of her playlists, studying for the next test. She barely hears the door open, and a faint voice calls out for her.)
VA: (hums along to one of the songs in the playlist, unaware of whoever was calling her downstairs)
(Suddenly, the door unlocks and opens, and you walk in, holding two backpacks on your back and a pile of clothes, damp from the rain, covering a majority of your face except for your eyes, as if you were crying minutes earlier.)
VA: (turns around) Chloe, I’ve told you so many times- oh hey, babe! (takes off her headphones) Here, lemme help you with that.
(The VA gets up in an attempt to help hold your pile of clothes, but you turn around.)
VA: Hey… oh, do you… need to take the bookbags off?
[muffled pause]
VA: What?
[pause]
VA: Oh okay… (helps you take one of the bookbags off) Why did you bring two? You only carry one around at school...
(You don’t respond, and just take the other, putting it somewhere in her room)
VA: (places your other bookbag near it) Babe?
[pause]
VA: Are you okay..?
[pause]
VA: You can put your clothes on my bed… but stop dodging my question. Are you okay-
[pause]
VA: Okay, geez… sorry for upsetting you.
(You drop your clothes on the VA’s bed, and sit down next to the pile. The VA closes her bedroom door)
VA: (sits down next to you) Is everything alright…? You’ve never acted like this before.
[pause]
VA: Grumpy mood, I guess? Here, hold still, lemme ki- (attempts to lean in to kiss you, but you turn your head away)
VA: (gasps) Did you just… reject a kiss from me?!
[pause]
VA: You’re not mad at me, are you?
[pause]
VA: Then if you’re not mad at me, what’s wrong?
(Silence.)
VA: (moves closer to you) Can I at least hug you?
(You shrug your shoulders.)
VA: Is that a yes or a no? I can’t read shoulders unless they have angels and devils on them.
(You don’t say anything.)
VA: I’ll… take that as a no. Do you want me to get you anything downstairs? Food? Water? Maybe some popcorn so we can watch a movie?
(You shake your head from side to side, signaling a no.)
VA: Do you want me to go back to work? I do have this test to study for...
[quiet pause]
VA: Babe, speak up.
[pause]
VA: Well, if you don’t want anything to eat or drink, and you don’t want me to go back to studying… then what do you want me to do?
[pause]
VA: You want me to stay here with you?
[pause]
VA: Hey. (reaches and holds your hand) Look at me.
(You refuse to look at her.)
VA: Babe. Look at me, I’m talking to you.
(You look away from her.)
VA: Babe..? (leans in closer to wrap her arms around you)
(While still looking away, you try to flip over one of your shirts in the pile to hide something… red.)
VA: Hey… what was that?
[pause]
VA: What do you mean “nothing”? Something was clearly in the pile.
[pause]
VA: No, that did not look like a bug. (reaches and leans over to grab the top shirt from the pile) Lemme see-
(You try to move the pile away, but she grabs the top shirt from it)
VA: Hey… don’t try to move it. (sits back down and unfolds the shirt) Hm, it’s all damp from the rain, and there’s… (stops and looks at the red smudge on the shirt)
VA: (turns to look at you, while you’re still looking away) Babe… What is this?
[pause]
VA: Stop lying to me, this is not ketchup. It doesn’t even look like it… (looks closer, and catches a strange smell from the stain) It smells… off..
(You continue to look away from her, not saying anything.)
VA: Babe… is this… Is this blood?
[pause]
VA: What do you mean, you fell down? How did you… when did… (turns to you) Look at me.
(You refuse to look at her)
VA: Babe… please, just…
(The VA turns your head to face her, yet you refuse to fight back. The VA just stares at you, speechless, seeing the red cut on the side of your face.)
VA: Babe… (gently combs the side of your hair) What… What happened?
[pause]
VA: Babe, your “falling down” excuse isn’t gonna work again, tell me the truth. What the hell happened?
[pause]
VA: (speechless) W-What?! You… you got cut..?!
[pause]
VA: Babe… how… who… why… Are.. are you still bleeding..?
[pause]
VA: Are you injured anywhere else..?
(You roll up your sleeve to reveal a massive bruise on your arm)
VA: (drops her jaw in shock) Oh my gosh.. Okay… (gets up) Stay here, I’m getting a first aid kit! (rushes out the door) And don’t do anything while I’m not in the room!
(You overhear the VA talking downstairs)
VA: (faint) No Chloe, he’s not fine! Where’s the first aid kit?!
VA: (faint) Yes, I can take care of him! I know what I’m doing! I don’t need you to do it! You’ve already done your job for years, so I can handle it!
(footsteps approach the door, and the VA steps back in)VA: (under her breath) Gosh, I just wish she would leave the house…
[pause]
VA: (talks to you) Yeah, I got the first aid kit.. Here, hold still.
(The VA begins to clean off the blood from your face, but you flinch away)
VA: Hey, stop flinching, babe! I know it stings, but it’s not gonna hurt as much.
[pause]
VA: I can’t just put a Band-Aid on it and call it a night. I have to apply iodine onto the wound and clean it before it causes an infection. (wipes off the blood) There… Now I can apply the Band-Aid. (unwraps a Band-Aid from a small box)
(You give her a weird look from the type of Band-Aid)
VA: What? (looks at the Band-Aid) Oh, it’s a Disney princess one. Yeah sorry, it’s the only one in the box.
[pause]
VA: You’re not gonna look stupid! No one’s gonna look at you! And plus, it’s not like I’m gonna post a photo of me patching up my favorite boyfriend! (playfully pokes your nose)
(You give her a stern look)
VA: Okay, I’ll shut up! But I promise, it’s not that bad! (gently applies the Band-Aid onto your face) There! Wasn’t that bad?
[pause]
VA: Don’t worry… it’ll be better by tomorrow… now for the bruise on your arm. Just… um… (blushes)
[pause]
VA: No, you don’t have to take off your shirt, but… if you want to…
(You unhesitantly try to take off your shirt, but your arm still hurts)
VA: Okay.. you’re actually doing it… um… do you… Do you need me to help you?
[pause]
VA: Sure, here… sorry if I… gosh, I’m sorry, I’m having intrusive thoughts right now.
(The VA helps you take off your shirt, exposing the bruise and revealing another on your back)
VA: Oh my… (speechless) I thought it was just on the arm, but no, it’s on your back too?!
[pause]
VA: Okay… be right back, Imma get some ice..! (leaves the room)
(Once again, you overhear the VA talk downstairs)
VA: (faint) Chloe, stop asking if he looks hot without his shirt on! He’s my boyfriend!! Stop messing with me about it! Just… where’s the ice?!
VA: Yes, I know it’s in the freezer, smarty pants!
(You hear her footsteps approach the door, and she walks out. When she sees you, the VA starts blushing again.)
[pause]
VA: Yeah, I’m fine… I’ve just… I’ve never seen you shirtless before… Anyways, here’s the ice. (gives you a bag of ice) Apply that onto your arm, and I’ll put this onto your back.
(The VA sits down behind you, and helps put ice to cool down the bruise on your back)
VA: So… do you… Are you okay with telling me what happened..? Because you weren’t like this earlier at school today.
[pause]
VA: It’s something you’ve never told me..?
[pause]
VA: Your… parents?
[long pause]
VA: (listens) Wait.. really?! They… they hurt you?!
[pause]
VA: Is it your mother or father that does it?
[pause]
VA: Both?!
[pause]
VA: And… How often do they do this..?
[pause]
VA: They hurt you almost every week?
[pause]
VA: Okay, emotionally, I understand, but… have they ever… physically… hurt you? Like with what’s happened tonight?
[pause]
VA: Sometimes?
[pause]
VA: When… When was the last time they’ve physically hurt you like this..?
[pause]
VA: Wait.. (puts down her bag of ice) 6 months ago?!
[pause]
VA: That’s… Isn’t that when we first met?!
[pause]
VA: Wait, so lemme guess… you were out of your house… all because you didn’t feel safe in there with your parents?
[pause]
VA: Oh my… oh my gosh… (in a sorrowful voice) I… I didn’t think… that’s how you felt back then… (looks at you) Why… Why didn’t you tell me about this..?
[pause]
VA: You didn’t want me to get involved..?
[pause]
VA: Well babe… I don’t care if I get hurt in the crossfire… I just… I want you to be okay…
(You slowly start crying)
VA: Hey, hey… (wraps her arms around you, and kisses your cheek) It’s okay, babe… It’s okay… (continues to kiss you and play with your hair to calm you down, whispering to you in a soft voice) It’s okay… I’m here for you… I’m here…
[pause]
VA: I’m sorry they had to hurt you like this… beating you up, yelling at you, cutting your face-
[pause]
VA: They… they didn’t cut your face..?
[pause]
VA: Wait.. (holds your hands, shocked) You tried to cut yourself..?!?!
(You don’t say anything, but you turn around to hug her, nudging your head into her chest)
VA: Hey, look at me babe.
[pause]
VA: No, I’m not mad at you, babe. Just look at me.
(You look up at her)
VA: (gently rests her hand on your cheek) Please… (a tear rolls down her eye) Don’t you ever try to hurt yourself like this… I don’t care that you almost tried to harm yourself, or hell, even fucking kill yourself-
[pause]
VA: Still, don’t you dare do this shit, babe.. I’m serious. Look, if you actually went and ended it all… I… (hesitates) I don’t even want to think about it… I can’t even think about living forward without you.
[pause]
VA: Okay, first of all, Chloe and I are not related, hence we’re not sisters, and second, living in a-
[pause]
VA: Wait, you didn’t know? I thought Chloe told you.
[pause]
VA: Okay… um… how do I explain this..? (breathes in and out) Chloe is… my caretaker. Or… guardian.
[pause]
VA: No, I don’t have parents.
[pause]
VA: They… (sighs) I don’t usually like talking about it, but… I’m willing to tell you.
[pause]
VA: For starters… My father abandoned me, and my mother passed away when I was just born, so I was adopted by someone. He was… really uncaring… he wouldn’t even take care of me, and would always just yell at me… Chloe, on the other hand… she raised me like she was a mother, but she wasn’t legally my mother, nor did she want to be an actual one… so she legally became my guardian.
[pause]
VA: It’s fine… I just… I miss my mother. I always visit her grave on my birthday, and it’s really the only memorable thing I do on that day.
(You wrap your arm around her waist, and lean in to kiss her)
VA: (sheepishly smiles) Thanks babe… (rests her head onto your heart) Hey.. I forgot about the ice… it’s melted by now… (raises her head back up) Are you still hurt from your arm and back?
[pause]
VA: Alright… you can… put a shirt back on.
(You reach over to grab a new clean shirt to wear, and you put it on, with the VA helping you a bit)
[pause]
VA: You’re welcome, babe.
[pause]
VA: Yeah… What is it?
[pause]
VA: Y’know… I actually haven’t thought about that… I’ve always wanted real parents, and you… never told me.
[pause]
VA: You’ve always wanted siblings..? Wait, you’re an only child?
[pause]
VA: True… you’ve never told me you had a brother or sister… and neither did I… but I guess Chloe’s kinda like my sister.
[pause]
VA: You… consider me… to be your “sister”..?
[pause]
VA: I do act like it, but… (smiles) I’m happy to be your “sister”... bro.
(You chuckle, playfully punching the VA’s shoulder)
VA: Hey..!! Okay, I swear, I won’t ever call you “bro”..
[pause]
VA: (leans in to kiss you) Deal. (smiles, and lays down on your lap, looking up at you) But seriously… no matter if we were related or dating or just friends… I will still, and always, will love you. (gently holds your hand, prompting you to play with her hair) And look… if you need any help from anything… from school, to your abusive parents, to even annoying Chloe…
[pause]
VA: Yes, I annoy Chloe too sometimes, but I still love her. Anyways, like I said, if you need help from me to destress, or if you just want to lay down with me for another sleepover date, I’m perfectly fine with it.. I’ll be here for you if you break down or cry, and I’ll be here to pick you back up, hold your hand, and walk down a rainy road with you. I’ll always be by your side, babe. I’m not just doing it to make sure you’re safe… (wraps her arms around your waist) I’m doing it for you… and it’s because I love you. And I will not stop saying it.
[pause]
VA: (smiles, and gets up to lean into you) You’re not just my boyfriend… you’re with Chloe as part of my family… (reaches out to play with your hair) But please babe… don’t ever try to hurt yourself ever again… okay..? That worries me a lot, so please… don’t ever try to scare me like that.
[pause]
VA: Good… I don’t want to lose you…
(You pick her up, surprising her)
VA: Woah, hey..!! (laughs) Let go of me!!
(You let her go, but she falls on top of you, with the two of you landing on her bed)
VA: (smiles and laughs) You okay..? I didn't accidentally land on and hurt your arm, did I?[pause]
VA: Okay, okay, that’s good… (spreads out her arms above your head)
(The two of you lean into each other to kiss)
VA: Hm? (looks at you)
[pause]
VA: (smiles, and leans in to whisper) I love you, too. (gives you another kiss)
THE END.

I met my now bf in March of 2019 and we became friends. We live in 2 different countries. I never considered it would go further than friends as he didn't want kids. I have an infant daughter. This also happened during Covid. I was in a relationship with my daughter's father. In June of 2020 he kicked us out of his house. I had no one to help me so a day or two later I ran out of money. I ended up returning to my daughter's father's house.
At some point we started calling each other bf and gf I were talking about starting a life together. However due to covid the borders and government buildings were shut down or we on low contact. Neither one of us could get a passport. Throughout our time together we would text, call and video. At times he would just disappear for days or weeks. We would fight about this to the point where we would be on the verge of breaking up, he would always tell me something happened and he was embarrassed or ashamed to tell me, mainly court or police related.
Fast forward to May of 2021 we were still together and it was still extremely hard to get your passport, even harder for me with a toddler since I need her dad's consent. My bf was getting discouraged and started avoiding me or making up excuses on why we weren't getting time together anymore. On September 28, 2021 he messaged me. Saying he was going to be stopping by on Friday to talk to my daughter. I was like excuse me, and he kept going. I kept telling him he was messaging the wrong person. He kept talking about a motorhome he was working on for me and so on. He asked if I was coming up to have a fire with him. I was like huh and I kept saying you are messaging the wrong person. Finally I said who the hell do you think you are taking to and they snapped him out of his rant and he said "female name" I was like no you are talking to "my name". He goes fuck and says he had been extremely busy and tired and just got confused and he thought he was messaging a customer. He is a mechanic and takes side jobs. So one of his side jobs was working on a motorhome for this woman. I was livid and stopped talking to him that night. The following day we talked and worked it out. He said he needed to head home as he was laying flooring at his ex's house (he did this often, helped other out).
All October I got no responses from anything. He mailed me saying he broke. Then half way through October he changed his passwords and booted me out of . I mailed him now saying are you breaking up with me now. He finally mailed me back said no I was trying to set up a new phone and couldn't remember my password so he change it. He then gave me the new password. He said he would email the next day, I got nothing. Finally I mailed and asked if he wanted to break up, if there was someone else I would understand but to be honest. I got a response a week later apologizing, stating there is no one else, that he has just been really busy and saying he loves me and wants to be with me.
On November 2, 2021 I received a phone call he from him. We talked for about 2 hours. Half way through he started crying says he met female in July or August that he had feelings for her. They started hanging out and was avoiding me so he didn’t hurt me. That he ghosted me all of October it was because he was trying to sort out his but they never where anything but friends. I understood because it is a long distance relationship and we had met in person due to circumstances, mainly covid.
He swore that nothing ever happened between them. That she was going through a divorce and just needed a friend. All through November and December of 2021 she was constantly calling him to hang out and saying she needed someone to talk. He was constantly blowing me off to spend time with her and help her. He would call me jealous and tell me to get over my insecurities, saying they were nothing more than friends.
My bf has something of a knight in shining armor complex if he ever sees someone in need friend or stranger he always feels the need to save that person no matter the cost, it's one of the things I love about him.
When it came to this female it felt different. When we would be talking and he would say "her name" just called she needs to talk and he would hang up, it would be the same if we were texting and I wouldn't find out until the following day that it was because his female friend.
Now in December right before Xmas he disappeared for a week, now I know during Xmas he spirals a little due to missing his dad so I worry about him. So I texted him to see if he was okay and got no response this went on for like 2 days. At this point I was extremely worried and anxious so I went on his account and looked to see if he was okay, mainly to make sure he was laying in a ditch somewhere or in a hospital or worse jail. However what I found was at his female friend's house for the entire last 2 days. The whole time while ignoring me. He ended up spending 5 straight days He didn't respond to me until I stated in a text message on the 5th day that apparently he moved in with his female friend and this is his way of saying we were finally over. He responded with no I haven't and that he was on his way home and that I need to stop being jealous of his female friend. He said he was lonely and just wanted to spend the holiday with someone.
After he promised we would spend new years together on video chat. Well come new years we were talking while he was at work. Then he stopped responding I figured he just got busy. So I waited and then messaged him when I knew he would be at home 2 or 3 hours after he got off work and he responded with my female friend called me and work and wants to go hang out at the casino so I'm going go do that I'll message you later. I now I blow up and tell him ever since he met this female and started hanging out with her it feels as if they’re the ones in a relationship and that I am the other woman. This again starts fight and leads to us breaking up for like thousandth time in the last 2 months.
After New Year's we started to talk again, we were working through the issues again and he even told me that since his truck was broke down his female friend would be driving him back and forth from work. We were spending more time together at this point and he stopped spending time with her. It seemed like he was finally hearing me. About a week or so after new year he calls me crying. Saying he needs to talk to me and he needs to clear the air about him and his female friend. My daughter's father then comes in and starts talking to me. My bf gets pissed and hangs up and I call him back this happens like 5 or 6 times and during call maybe 3 he breaks up with me with no explanation. I call him back to find out what is going on he would say he loves and that he doesn't want to break up but then he would say we are over again and hang up. After 3 phone calls like that I give up. I messaged him wishing him well and that I hope he is happy. In the morning I get a reply say what do I in my drunken state and I tell him and ask if he really wants to break up he says no the I ask about what he was talking about him and his female friend. He goes oh she had an issue with her ex. So I dropped it this conversation still bothered me though.
Things between him and I started to improve and it looked like we were working through the issues he even stopped hanging around with his female friend. He messaged her to see if she wanted to hang out on his birthday a few times and she blew him off.
In March of 2022 for some reason we start talking about his female friend. He starts complaining to me about how she ghosted him and she isn't answering his messages and now he is crying. I try to justify it and tell him that she just used him. I said I don't know why it is bothering you so much since you were just friend he finally breaks and say they he slept with her. He then back tracks and says just in the same bed during the Xmas stay. I don't know why but this always bothered me. I wasn’t sure as to why he got emotional over a female that was just his friend. It made no sense as to why he was crying over just a freind
During this timeframe there were a few red flags . On new year he mentioned that she told him he want allowed to mention me. That her son didn't like him because he thought he was trying to take the place of his father. That she just ghosted him out of no where and that he took it so hard. That she came to him and told him that she was going to start dating again. I mean those sounded all like things you would say to an ex.
In May of 2022 he bought me bus tickets to move to my sister‘s. I was supposed to leave in June of 2022. However right before this happened he tells me that his female friend contacted him and that she invited him to go out to dinner as a thank you. I was surprised that he didn’t hide it from me.
I left my daughter's father's house and had every intention of getting on the bus. However I had a nagging feeling in my mind their relationship. In the end I didn't get on the bus but I returned to my daughter's father's house both out of guilt and just that nagging feeling that he hiding something from me.
For the next 2 years we would fight and constantly break up and make up. The fights always being about me not leaving when it was paid for it and his relationship with his female friend. I ended up sending him back the money for the trip I didn‘t take that he paid for.
Since we have been together he gives me half truths or avoids me because of things he knows things will upset or hurt me so he tries pretend things do happen. The little issues we had would always lead back to the 2 main issues, his and his female friend's relationship and my not leaving. We have been able to make it for a while though even with all the fighting and breaking up. His avoiding and half truths when he is feeling guilty about something.
Now we are in February of 2024 he finally came out and admitted that back in 2021 he did have sex with his supposed female friend. He told me she broke it off because he drank too much but another time he said she called it off because mentioned needing to talk to me. He said it was a one time thing and he was drunk and lonely and just wanted some kind of human contact. He said that he fucked up and it was a mistake and that he regretted it ever since it happened and that he had felt guilty about it ever since. I can’t help be think does he regret sleeping with her or statying with me?
I asked if he would have continued to be with her and he said he wasn't sure. Now I feel like our entire relationship has been nothing but lies. He says he loves me and only wants to be with me. To that I reply you love me so much you had to fuck another female to prove it. He says he is sorry and that he doesn't want to lose me or my daughter that we are his family. However at the same time I can't help but think that he is just telling me what I want to hear.
I have been avoiding him for the last month or so yes we talk but not about really. I just don't know how to forgive him this time as I realize the next time I have to forgive it will be worse than this. It started with forgiving him for disappearing for hours after saying brb, then it was a day, then a few days, then a week, then it was a full month only to be told I was trying to figure out my feeling for another female and now it is I had sex with someone else.
We have been calling each other bf and gf or hubby and wifey for almost 5 years but we have never physically been together nor have we met in person. So can I consider this being cheated on. I mean we do love each other and we have talked about marriage and spend our lives together but at the same time it only seems like it is what it has been for the last 5 years just talk.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour A Robin Red breast in a Cage Puts all Heaven in a Rage A Dove house filld with Doves & Pigeons Shudders Hell thr' all its regions A dog starvd at his Masters Gate Predicts the ruin of the State A Horse misusd upon the Road Calls to Heaven for Human blood Each outcry of the hunted Hare A fibre from the Brain does tear A Skylark wounded in the wing A Cherubim does cease to sing The Game Cock clipd & armd for fight Does the Rising Sun affright Every Wolfs & Lions howl Raises from Hell a Human Soul The wild deer, wandring here & there Keeps the Human Soul from Care The Lamb misusd breeds Public Strife And yet forgives the Butchers knife The Bat that flits at close of Eve Has left the Brain that wont Believe The Owl that calls upon the Night Speaks the Unbelievers fright He who shall hurt the little Wren Shall never be belovd by Men He who the Ox to wrath has movd Shall never be by Woman lovd The wanton Boy that kills the Fly Shall feel the Spiders enmity He who torments the Chafers Sprite Weaves a Bower in endless Night The Catterpiller on the Leaf Repeats to thee thy Mothers grief Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly For the Last Judgment draweth nigh He who shall train the Horse to War Shall never pass the Polar Bar The Beggars Dog & Widows Cat Feed them & thou wilt grow fat The Gnat that sings his Summers Song Poison gets from Slanders tongue The poison of the Snake & Newt Is the sweat of Envys Foot The poison of the Honey Bee Is the Artists Jealousy The Princes Robes & Beggars Rags Are Toadstools on the Misers Bags A Truth thats told with bad intent Beats all the Lies you can invent It is right it should be so Man was made for Joy & Woe And when this we rightly know Thro the World we safely go Joy & Woe are woven fine A Clothing for the soul divine Under every grief & pine Runs a joy with silken twine The Babe is more than swadling Bands Throughout all these Human Lands Tools were made & Born were hands Every Farmer Understands Every Tear from Every Eye Becomes a Babe in Eternity This is caught by Females bright And returnd to its own delight The Bleat the Bark Bellow & Roar Are Waves that Beat on Heavens Shore The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath Writes Revenge in realms of Death The Beggars Rags fluttering in Air Does to Rags the Heavens tear The Soldier armd with Sword & Gun Palsied strikes the Summers Sun The poor Mans Farthing is worth more Than all the Gold on Africs Shore One Mite wrung from the Labrers hands Shall buy & sell the Misers Lands Or if protected from on high Does that whole Nation sell & buy He who mocks the Infants Faith Shall be mockd in Age & Death He who shall teach the Child to Doubt The rotting Grave shall neer get out He who respects the Infants faith Triumphs over Hell & Death The Childs Toys & the Old Mans Reasons Are the Fruits of the Two seasons The Questioner who sits so sly Shall never know how to Reply He who replies to words of Doubt Doth put the Light of Knowledge out The Strongest Poison ever known Came from Caesars Laurel Crown Nought can Deform the Human Race Like to the Armours iron brace When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow A Riddle or the Crickets Cry Is to Doubt a fit Reply The Emmets Inch & Eagles Mile Make Lame Philosophy to smile He who Doubts from what he sees Will neer Believe do what you Please If the Sun & Moon should Doubt Theyd immediately Go out To be in a Passion you Good may Do But no Good if a Passion is in you The Whore & Gambler by the State Licencd build that Nations Fate The Harlots cry from Street to Street Shall weave Old Englands winding Sheet The Winners Shout the Losers Curse Dance before dead Englands Hearse Every Night & every Morn Some to Misery are Born Every Morn and every Night Some are Born to sweet delight Some are Born to sweet delight Some are Born to Endless Night We are led to Believe a Lie When we see not Thro the Eye Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light God Appears & God is Light To those poor Souls who dwell in Night But does a Human Form Display To those who Dwell in Realms of day

The Pink Gorila
In the whispering darkness of Romania's ancient landscapes, a man found himself on an urgent business quest, his trusty but weary car his only steed. The journey began smoothly on the highway until a serpent-like snarl of cars halted his progress. With the aid of modern technology, he sought an alternative path, leading him into the embracing arms of winding mountain roads, under the watchful gaze of towering pines that whispered secrets of old.
As the road serpentined through the mountains, the car, much like a steed of old tales, started to protest its heavy burden. A steep ascent loomed, challenging the vehicle's resolve. The man, his heart a mix of determination and doubt, urged it onward until—a loud BANG shattered the moment, a sound reminiscent of ancient battles, echoing off the mountain walls. The car trembled and stuttered, barely cresting the hill before it succumbed to silence.
The descent was a silent glide, the only sounds being the whisper of wind and the occasional ominous hoot of an unseen owl. The car, now a silent ghost of itself, came to a rest in the embrace of the dark road. The man's hope dimmed like the fading light of his phone, the lifeline to the outside world now a dying ember.
Determined, he set forth on foot, the crunch of gravel underfoot his constant companion. The road gave way to a mysterious path, leading to a gate that groaned and moaned like a creature from a bygone era as it allowed him passage. The mansion that awaited was a giant, slumbering in the moonlight, its grandeur both awe-inspiring and unsettling.
The giant wooden doors opened with a groan, revealing a world untouched by time. The butler, a silent specter, led the man through halls adorned with echoes of grandeur and whispers of the past. The invitation to stay was both a blessing and a veil to a mystery that lay deeper within the heart of the mansion.
The butler's revelation of the pink gorilla was a scene straight from the pages of a gothic novel, the creature a vibrant anomaly in the shadowed room. The man's curiosity, once piqued, became an obsession, leading him through the mansion's veins, driven by the need to uncover the truth.
The final confrontation, a cacophony of sounds—shrieks of bent metal, the furious roar of the gorilla, and the desperate pounding of the man's heart—culminated in a moment of surreal humor. "You're it," the gorilla declared, a sentence that hung in the air like a twisted punchline, blending fear, confusion, and an absurd sense of camaraderie.
In this extended tale, the journey through Romania's heartland became not just a physical trial but a voyage into the unexpected, where every creak, roar, and silent whisper wove a richer tapestry of adventure, mystery, and an unforgettable encounter with the surreal.
As the echo of the gorilla's declaration faded into the night, the man stood frozen, a cocktail of emotions swirling within him. The absurdity of the situation clashed with the primal fear that had gripped him moments before, leaving him in a state of bewildered amusement. The gorilla, having delivered its message, seemed to regard him with a semblance of curiosity, its eyes glinting in the moonlight that filtered through the torn roof of the car.
The man, now catching his breath, realized the predicament he found himself in was far from ordinary. He was in the heart of Romania, face to face with a creature that defied explanation, in a scenario that seemed to leap from the pages of a storybook. Yet, here he was, his heart pounding not just from fear but from the thrill of the unexpected.
With a newfound resolve, he decided to embrace the madness of the moment. "Well, I suppose it's my turn then," he said, more to himself than to the gorilla, who seemed to cock its head slightly, as if understanding. The man slowly exited the remnants of his car, cautiously stepping around the gorilla, which surprisingly made no move to stop him.
As he walked back towards the mansion, a plan began to form in his mind. He would find the butler, demand answers, and perhaps, just perhaps, turn this nightmarish adventure into an opportunity. After all, not everyone can say they've played tag with a pink gorilla in a Romanian mansion.
The mansion, now silent, seemed to watch his return with a sense of anticipation. The doors, once daunting, now invited him in, as if welcoming him back from a journey of initiation. Inside, the mansion was a labyrinth of shadows and whispers, the history of its walls mingling with the man's own story.
He found the butler in the grand foyer, polishing an ancient vase with a care that seemed out of place in the chaos of the night. "Ah, you've returned. And how did you find our resident jest?" the butler asked, without turning, his voice echoing slightly in the vast space.
The man, pausing to catch his breath, replied, "I believe it's my turn now." The butler simply nodded, as if this was the expected response, and gestured for the man to follow him once more.
This time, their destination was not the hidden cage but a library filled with books that seemed as ancient as the mansion itself. The butler handed him a tome, its cover worn by time, titled "The Lore of the Land." "Perhaps this will shed some light on your encounter," the butler suggested, before leaving the man alone with his thoughts and the book.
As the first light of dawn began to filter through the tall windows, the man poured over the pages, discovering tales of creatures and legends that painted a world beyond the ordinary, a world where perhaps, a pink gorilla in a Romanian mansion wasn't so out of place after all.
His adventure, which began as a simple business trip, had transformed into a journey of discovery, not just of the mysteries hidden in the heart of Romania but of his own capacity for wonder and belief in the extraordinary. As the sun rose, casting a golden glow over the mansion, the man knew that no matter the outcome of his original quest, he had already uncovered a story worth more than any deal he could have hoped to close.
As the dawn's light unfurled across the sprawling estate, casting shadows and revelations in equal measure, the man felt a profound shift within. The mansion, with its myriad secrets and whispered histories, seemed no longer a mere relic of the past but a living, breathing entity that had chosen him to unveil one of its countless mysteries. The book in his hands, a bridge to the arcane and the marvelous, whispered of worlds parallel yet intersecting with our own, where the fabric of reality was thinner, and the extraordinary danced closely with the mundane.
The lore of the pink gorilla, as he discovered, was not merely an oddity to be puzzled over but a guardian of thresholds, a creature that manifested to those at the cusp of significant personal revelations or crossroads. The lore suggested that an encounter with such a being was not random but a deeply personal challenge, an invitation to explore the unknown corridors of one's life and perhaps, to redefine the boundaries of what was considered possible.
Emboldened by this knowledge, the man decided that his journey was far from over; it had, in fact, just begun. He resolved to leave behind the constraints of his previous ambitions and embrace the path of discovery that lay before him. With the mansion as his starting point, he would delve deeper into the mysteries of the land, seeking out the ancient, the hidden, and the mystical.
As he set forth from the mansion, the butler, now less a servant and more a guide, bestowed upon him a parting gift—a compass, not for navigation by conventional means, but one that pointed towards the extraordinary. "May this guide you to the wonders that await," the butler said, his eyes twinkling with a knowledge that seemed as vast as the lore contained within the mansion's walls.
The man stepped outside, the air fresh with the promise of the morning, and looked back at the mansion one last time. It stood majestic and serene, a keeper of secrets and tales untold, now a beacon in his quest for the extraordinary. He turned away, his heart alight with possibilities, and set off into the sunrise, the land stretching out before him like a canvas waiting for new stories to be painted.
His encounter with the pink gorilla, now a cherished memory, served as a reminder that the world was far more wondrous and complex than he had ever imagined. Each step forward was a step into the unknown, a chance to uncover the magic hidden in plain sight, waiting for those brave enough to seek it out.
And so, the man's journey continued, each day a new chapter in a saga of discovery, each encounter a thread in the tapestry of a life redefined by wonder and a boundless quest for the extraordinary. The road ahead was uncharted, the stories waiting to be told infinite, and the world a place of endless marvels, forever changed by one night, one mansion, and one pink gorilla that dared him to dream bigger.
As the man ventured deeper into the landscapes that sprawled beyond the mansion's boundaries, each step took him further from the world he knew and closer to the realms of the unexplained and the mystical. The compass given by the butler did not point north, but towards anomalies of nature and hidden enclaves of magic. Its needle quivered and spun, leading him through forests that whispered ancient secrets, across rivers that sang of lost loves, and over hills that murmured with stories of battles long forgotten.
His first destination was a village whispered about in the mansion's lore, a place where the veil between the worlds was said to be thinnest on nights when the moon hid its face. The villagers, at first wary of the stranger, soon opened their doors and hearts to him, sharing tales of their ancestors who walked with spirits and commanded the elements. Here, the man learned the language of the trees and the songs of the stars, each lesson weaving into him a deeper connection with the world around him.
One night, under a cloak of starless darkness, he was taken to a clearing in the woods where the villagers gathered to witness the dance of the spirits. As the air filled with the hum of ancient chants, shadows began to dance at the edge of his vision, twirling and weaving around a fire that burned with a green flame. The man watched, spellbound, as the divide between the worlds blurred, and for a moment, he felt the touch of the unknown—a feeling both exhilarating and humbling.
With each encounter, the man's perception of reality expanded. The compass led him next to a mountain where the wind spoke in riddles, and he spent a moon cycle deciphering its words, each answer revealing a layer of the world's fabric he had never imagined. On the peak, amidst clouds that whispered of eternity, he found a stone that pulsed with the heart of the mountain—a gem that glowed with an inner light, guiding him further on his quest.
His journey was not without trials. There were paths that led into darkness, where fears and doubts rose like specters to challenge his resolve. But with each step forward, he shed layers of his former self, finding strength in vulnerability and power in the acceptance of the unknown.
The man realized that the true journey was not just about uncovering the wonders of the world but also discovering the depths of his own spirit. He encountered beings of light and shadow, each teaching him that balance was the key to harmony and that every light casts a shadow. He learned to walk the tightrope between worlds, embracing both the light and the dark within himself.
Years passed, seasons turned, and legends grew around the figure of a man who walked the borders of reality, a seeker of truths hidden and a bearer of stories untold. To some, he was a myth, a symbol of the eternal quest for understanding and connection. To others, he was a reminder that the world is far vaster and more mysterious than it appears, that magic lies in belief, and that the extraordinary is all around, waiting for those with the courage to seek it.
And so, the man who once sought only to close a deal for his company became a traveler of the liminal, a bridge between the seen and the unseen, forever changed by a night at a mansion and a pink gorilla that showed him the endless possibilities of the 'what if.' His journey became a testament to the power of curiosity and the human spirit's unyielding desire to explore the wonders of the universe.
In the tapestry of his adventures, the man discovered not just the external marvels of a world unseen but also the internal landscapes of his own soul. With each step into the unknown, he peeled back layers of himself, revealing strengths and vulnerabilities he never knew he possessed. The journey became less about the destinations and more about the transformation within, a metamorphosis catalyzed by the pursuit of the extraordinary.
As seasons melded into years, his tales wove into the fabric of the local lore, a collection of stories that inspired those who heard them to look beyond their own horizons. The man, now a wanderer of realms both earthly and ethereal, realized that his journey had no end, for the pursuit of wonder is infinite, and the path of discovery eternal.
In his travels, he encountered communities that, hidden from the modern world, preserved the essence of magic that once flourished unbridled across the land. He learned the ancient arts of healing from a wise woman whose garden was a mosaic of herbs and enchantments. From a silent monk atop a snow-capped peak, he mastered the art of listening, hearing the whispers of the wind and the songs of the stars. Each encounter, each lesson, was a thread in the rich tapestry of his evolving journey.
But it was in the quiet moments, when he stood alone under the canopy of stars, that the man found the deepest connection to the universe. It was then he understood that every star was a story, every breeze a song, and every stone a testament to the timeless dance of creation. He realized that magic did not exist apart from the world but was woven into the very fabric of existence, visible to those who chose to see.
His legend grew, not as a mere traveler or seeker of oddities but as a guardian of the gateways between worlds, a protector of the ancient truths and mysteries that bind the universe together. People from far and wide sought him, not just for his knowledge but for the light he carried within, a beacon of hope and wonder in an age of skepticism and forgetfulness.
Eventually, the man understood that his journey was also a return, a spiral that led not only outward into the depths of mystery but inward to the heart of his own being. He found peace in the balance of opposites, in the harmony of light and shadow, and in the understanding that every end is but a new beginning.
As he stood on a cliff overlooking the sea, where the sky met the water in an endless embrace, the man reflected on the path that had led him here. He thought of the pink gorilla, the mansion, the butler, and the countless souls he had met along the way. With a heart full of gratitude, he realized that his quest had been not just for the wonders of the world but for the rediscovery of wonder within.
With the horizon stretching before him, the man set down his compass, now understanding that the true direction was always guided by the heart. As the sun dipped below the sea, casting the world in a glow of gold and crimson, he took a deep breath, ready for whatever adventures awaited.
For in a universe of endless possibilities, the journey is never truly over; it only transforms, leading the seeker on new paths, through new doors, and into new realms of wonder. And so, with the stars as his map and his heart as his compass, the man stepped forward, into the next chapter of a story that is as old as time and as new as the next sunrise.
But the narrative of the man, now a timeless wanderer, takes a poignant turn, reflecting the essence of every journey. With the breadth of the world woven into the fabric of his spirit, he sought to impart the wisdom gained from the myriad paths tread and the countless stars counted. The wanderer, once a seeker, became a storyteller, a custodian of tales that bridged worlds and hearts.
In villages and cities, in valleys and atop mountains, he shared stories that kindled the flames of curiosity and wonder in the listeners. His tales were not just recounts of adventures but parables of connection, resilience, and the undying quest for understanding. Through his words, the veil between the mundane and the magical grew thinner, reminding all that wonder did not reside in distant lands but within the grasp of those who dared to dream and look beyond.
His legacy, however, was not merely in the tales told under the moon's soft glow or beside the hearth's warm fire. It was in the sparks ignited in the souls of those who listened, a chain reaction of wonder that transcended time and space. Children who listened with wide-eyed wonder grew up to explore their own paths, discovering new stories to add to the ever-expanding tapestry of human endeavor and cosmic ballet.
As seasons changed and the wheel of time spun, the wanderer's steps grew slower, his journey taking him closer to the heart of existence itself. He ventured into the realm of silence, where the whispers of the universe were clearest, seeking the source of the magic that had fueled his journey. Here, in the quietude of being, he found the ultimate truth that his journey had circled around: that all of existence is interconnected, a symphony of light and shadow, where every soul plays a note in the grand orchestral work of the cosmos.
In this realization, the wanderer saw that his journey had been both outward and inward, a spiral dance that led to the core of existence where all stories began and ended. He understood that his legacy was not the tales he'd told or the wonders he'd unveiled but the reminder that the journey is infinite, and every end is a new beginning.
With this knowledge, the wanderer found a place to rest, a tranquil nexus where all paths intersected. He became a beacon, a lighthouse for those navigating their own voyages through the tempests and tranquilities of life. And as he shared this final piece of wisdom—that the greatest adventure lies in the discovery of one's own soul—he completed his transformation from a man on a quest to a timeless guide, a mentor to the seekers, dreamers, and storytellers who would follow the trails he had blazed.
And so, the story of the wanderer weaves into the greater story of humanity, a reminder that the journey never truly ends. It is passed from one soul to another, through words and silence, in the hope that the magic of wonder, the quest for connection, and the pursuit of the extraordinary will forever illuminate the path of those who walk the earth, gazing at the stars and dreaming of the infinite.
In the continuum of time, where the wanderer's tale merges with the cosmos, his essence diffuses into the fabric of existence, becoming a part of the universal consciousness. This transformation marks not an end but an evolution, a transcendence from physical journeys to ethereal guidance, where his spirit continues to inspire across dimensions.
In the ethereal plane, the wanderer's insights become whispers in the wind, ripples in the water, and twinkles in the night sky, accessible to all who find themselves lost or in search of deeper truths. His presence is felt in the sudden inspirations that strike at the quiet of dawn, in the courage that rises amidst storms, and in the peace that descends with twilight's embrace.
As the world spins and generations rise and fall, the wanderer's tales, now part of the collective mythos, foster a legacy of exploration and introspection. They serve as a compass for the soul, guiding those who seek to break the fetters of the ordinary and embark on journeys of their own, whether through physical realms or the landscapes of the mind and spirit.
Temples, not of stone but of thought and intention, arise in his honor, places where seekers gather to share stories, wisdom, and insights, creating a web of interconnectedness that spans the globe. These gatherings, illuminated by the fire of curiosity and the glow of fellowship, become beacons of light in a world that, at times, seems overshadowed by the mundane and the material.
In these spaces, the wanderer's teachings evolve into a philosophy of life, a path that embraces the beauty of the unknown and the power of the human spirit to transcend limitations. It is a call to view each day as an adventure, each challenge as a riddle to be solved, and each interaction as a thread in the intricate tapestry of the collective human experience.
As the philosophy spreads, touching hearts and awakening minds, the wanderer's spirit journeys alongside those who dare to dream, explore, and discover. He becomes a guardian of dreams, an ally in the quest for meaning, and a guide to those who navigate the myriad paths of life.
The wanderer's journey, which began as a solitary quest, culminates in a universal voyage, a collective endeavor to uncover the mysteries of existence and the wonders of the cosmos. It is a journey that transcends time, space, and dimension, uniting all in the quest for knowledge, understanding, and connection.
And thus, the story continues, a perpetual narrative woven into the very essence of existence, inviting all to join in the eternal dance of the cosmos. The wanderer's tale becomes not just a story but a living testament to the indomitable spirit of exploration, a call to embrace the infinite journey of discovery, understanding, and connection that defines the human condition.
In this unending story, every soul is both a wanderer and a storyteller, contributing their verse to the endless poem of existence, where every end is a beginning, and the journey is eternal, bound only by the limits of imagination and the depth of one's courage to explore the vast, uncharted territories of the heart and the heavens.
In the ever-expanding narrative of existence, where each soul’s journey intertwines with the fabric of the universe, the legacy of the wanderer becomes a cosmic echo, resonating through the ages. This resonance is not confined to the tales of old or the whispers of the wind but lives in the heartbeats of those who carry the torch of exploration and curiosity into the future.
As civilizations advance and technology bridges the gaps between stars, the essence of the wanderer guides humanity's steps into the cosmos. His spirit, a beacon of adventure and discovery, illuminates the path for those who navigate the infinite expanse of space, seeking not conquest but connection, not dominion but understanding.
In this new era of exploration, the wanderer's teachings transform into principles that govern the interaction between worlds and cultures. The ethos of respect, wonder, and a thirst for knowledge transcends the boundaries of planets, becoming a universal language that unites different forms of life across the galaxy. The wanderer’s legacy, now embedded in the collective consciousness, inspires a federation of worlds, each unique yet bound by common values of exploration, peace, and the shared quest for the mysteries of the universe.
This federation, a testament to the wanderer's dream, embarks on voyages that span light-years, delving into the unknown depths of the cosmos. Each expedition carries the spirit of the wanderer, each discovery a tribute to his unyielding curiosity. These journeys reveal the interconnectedness of all existence, showcasing the myriad ways life expresses itself across the vast canvas of space. Through these encounters, humanity learns not only of the diversity of the cosmos but also of its own place within the grand scheme of existence.
As the federation explores, it encounters phenomena that defy explanation, mysteries that echo the tales of magic and wonder that the wanderer once pursued on his own terrestrial journey. These mysteries, remnants of the universe's creation and markers of its evolution, offer glimpses into the forces that weave the fabric of reality. They serve as reminders that, despite the advances in knowledge and technology, the universe will always harbor enigmas, inviting those with the courage to explore them.
In this ongoing voyage, the wanderer's story becomes more than a legend; it becomes the guiding ethos for a civilization venturing beyond the cradle of Earth. It teaches that exploration is not just a physical journey but a voyage of the spirit, a quest to understand not only the universe but also the soul’s infinite potential.
And so, as ships bearing the emblem of the federation traverse the star-studded void, the wanderer’s legacy endures, a timeless narrative that continues to inspire those who look upon the night sky not as a boundary but as an invitation. The story of the wanderer, once a solitary figure traversing the shadowed forests and mystical lands of Earth, now resonates through the cosmos, a symbol of the eternal journey of discovery that defines the essence of all sentient beings.
In this boundless adventure, every heart that dreams, every mind that wonders, and every soul that ventures into the unknown carries the spirit of the wanderer, contributing to the endless symphony of the cosmos. The journey is eternal, the stories infinite, and the legacy of the wanderer a beacon that lights the way to the furthest reaches of imagination, where every star is a story, every planet a poem, and every galaxy a garden of wonders waiting to be discovered.
As the cosmos unfolds its endless narrative, woven from the threads of countless journeys, a unique strand weaves through the fabric of existence, linking every heart that dares to explore the unknown. This strand, a cosmic echo of a tale both whimsical and profound, originates from an encounter that transcends time and space, grounding the vastness of the universe in a moment of playful connection—a link between the wanderer and a pink gorilla.
In the heart of an ancient, mystical mansion, hidden within the fold of reality where the wanderer's journey found unexpected turns, the moment when the gorilla, with a touch and a simple phrase, "You're it," transformed the nature of the quest. This moment, a playful exchange in the shadow of the unknown, became a beacon, a reminder that amidst the grandeur of the cosmos and the depth of our explorations, there lies a fundamental link of shared existence, a thread of joy and simplicity that connects all beings.
As humanity ventured into the stars, guided by the wanderer’s legacy of curiosity and discovery, they carried with them this ethos of connection. The federation of worlds, born from a dream of exploration and understanding, found in the tale of the wanderer and the pink gorilla a symbol of their deepest values. In every encounter with new worlds and sentient beings, in every diplomatic exchange and shared exploration, the story of the gorilla served as a reminder that at the heart of all discovery is the desire for connection, for the simple joy of recognizing oneself in the other, across the vastness of space and the diversity of life.
This ethos inspired a tradition among the explorers of the federation. In their voyages across the stars, whenever a new planet was discovered, or a new species welcomed into the community of the cosmos, the story of the wanderer and the pink gorilla was shared as a gesture of friendship and solidarity. The phrase "You're it," translated into myriad languages and forms of communication, became a universal greeting, symbolizing the invitation to join the grand adventure of exploration and mutual discovery.
The pink gorilla, once a curious anomaly within a mysterious mansion, evolved into a symbol of the interconnectedness of all beings. Statues and holograms of the gorilla adorned public squares and spaceports across the federation, each a testament to the playful spirit that underlies the quest for knowledge and the journey towards understanding.
In this way, the legacy of the wanderer and his encounter with the pink gorilla wove itself into the cultural fabric of a galaxy-spanning civilization. It reminded all who heard it that beyond the awe-inspiring mysteries of the universe, the fundamental connections that bind us are woven from moments of simplicity and shared joy.
And so, as the federation explores the furthest reaches of the cosmos, the spirit of the wanderer and the essence of the pink gorilla journey with them, a timeless link that binds every heart that looks to the stars and dreams of discovery. In every "You're it," there is an invitation to partake in the eternal dance of the cosmos, a call to explore not just the mysteries of the universe but the bonds that unite us all in the grand tapestry of existence.

"Give me the man and I will give you the case against him," said Soviet secret police chief Lavrentiy Beria. They could find the defendant guilty of something if they so desired. Emotions over structure. A political game over justice. Corruption over truth. Ideology over everything.
I’m trying to understand what has happened to Donald Trump and how his conviction will affect America in the long run. He was convicted on all 34 charges and he probably will go to jail. Whatever they blame him for committing, they committed themselves. Trump didn’t jail his political opponent; they did, or at least they are openly trying to do so, as the Soviet Union leaders did in my home country.
I always thought that you must listen carefully to the political speech of anyone who runs for president. If his speech fills you with fear and hopelessness, if his ideas divide Americans, he shouldn’t be president of this great nation. I watched Trump and I felt love and pride for America, great unity. I watched Biden and I felt hopelessness and fear before this country in its racial and ideological division.
We are one step away from tyranny. We always are. So many of us are afraid to speak our minds. The line has been crossed. Trump in jail is a real possibility. Jailing your political opponents on trumped-up charges might become normal for this country, and what then? The Constitution, the Bill of Rights, everything that makes this country great would become irrelevant.
I love America. And when you truly love something, you have to be able to defend it. We have degraded love into promiscuous sex and true patriotism into fearful niceness. So many of us pretend to be free until one day you decide to exercise your freedom, and what then? It’s like having a wife who cheats on you, but you pretend that she’s not, and you both keep living in this denial until one day it’s too hard not to notice the reality of your miserable existence. The same with freedom. You have to fight for what you believe. Today you might be banned from social media for your views or lose your job. Tomorrow you might lose your freedom or your life.
Freedom is something that must be constantly defended. Don’t give away your freedom for comfort; you might end up with neither. Who said that? Benjamin Franklin? Weakness runs on emotions and ignorance. Have you seen Robert DeNiro’s attempt to speak up in front of the courthouse? Quite pitiful.
I don’t understand this hate toward Donald Trump. As an immigrant and an American citizen, I voted for him once and I will vote for him again. We mustn’t be afraid to express ourselves because if we are, we already aren’t free but chained to a train that is going straight toward an authoritarian regime. And let me tell you, it’s no fun to live under it. I know; I was born in the Soviet Union.
And if you think guns would help you, think again. At first, they would make laws confusing and selective. This would train you to doubt common sense and the idea of self-defense in general. Then they will begin putting people in jail for their ideas and for exercising their rights. Gradually, you will notice that you are afraid to express your ideas and begin self-censoring yourself. They will get into your head with their repetitive slogans until you realize that you’re afraid to think outside the box of the ideology enforced on you. People who are afraid to think have no ground under their feet. If you have no ground under your feet, a gun in your hands is just a useless toy that would never dare to fire because the finger on the trigger is being controlled by a mind that, in turn, is being controlled by the government.
George Washington said, “A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite.” Yes, we are well-armed, but are we disciplined? Are we disciplined enough to understand the importance of the current situation? Will we vote knowingly and reasonably, or emotionally and angrily, or not vote at all? Washington also said, “The value of liberty was thus enhanced in our estimation by the difficulty of its attainment, and the worth of characters appreciated by the trial of adversity.” The trial is here. We will see if we truly value our liberty and have characters in us that are worth it. We will see if we are still truly Americans in the sense the Founding Fathers saw Americans. We will see if we are still worthy of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not the right to be happy, but the right to pursue our own individual happiness, which makes us happy in the pursuit. We will see if we are still worthy to have the idea of the United States of America.
It’s not enough to be an American just because you happened to be born in this country. To be truly American, you have to love your freedom and be willing to die for it. To be an American is to love individuality, independence, and strength. Why did the bald eagle become a national American symbol? Because it flies high and alone. Because it has pride and independence. Because it never feeds off someone’s hand. It always gets its food by itself. Because it can never be domesticated and turned into a chicken.
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Most of us long for company, for love, for romance. Sadly, life is unfair. Some people get it, some people don't. The reasons varies. The blue pill says personality is the most important; The red pill asserts resources and self-improvement are enough; The black pill states that appearance is sovereign, and there is no changing that.
As with all things, perhaps there is a bit of truth in each of these ideologies, but they seldom hit the whole mark. Not only that, they are all so close-minded that they don't evolve, they don't adapt to new information. This lack of flexibility is a breeding ground for absurd ideas, hypocrisy and uncharitableness towards other groups of people. They almost never ask questions, for they are always so certain that whatever it may be, their answer is always the right one.
I created this space because I was in each of the aforementioned spaces in certain periods of my life, and none of them quite clicked. They always disappointed or failed to explain certain events. I never quite mingled with the incels, for their rhetoric and reasoning seemed alien to me, despite our shared burdens. I felt stuck as to whether I was or not an incel. If you consider the original meaning of the word, coined by Alana in 1993, then yes, technically I was one. But times have changed. Over three decades passed since the word was first used. Anger, bitterness and resentment turned an otherwise wholesome community malignant. Now, a plethora of negative stereotypes are attributed to the word incel. Alana tried to make a community similar to the original involuntary celibacy project, but quickly abandoned it. As a result, I was lost and felt like I didn't belong anywhere. On one hand I was lonely, virgin and unable to get a relationship, but the incels would never welcome someone like me, thanks to their aversion to the feminine; I sympathized with the femcel's pain, but their hatred for my gender would render any communication impossible. On the other, if I identified as an incel, it didn't matter what came after the 'but', judgement would follow and assumptions would be made.
No ideology managed to quite satisfy me either:
The blue pill's excessive optimism and toxic positivity didn't show results in real life. Despite me being kind, supportive and helpful, I was invisible.
The red pill didn't make much sense in the real world, once put into practice. Firstly, it has a narrow definition of masculinity, In order to follow it, I would need to sacrifice my identity to fit in. I quickly abandoned it when I saw that not every effort will materialize into results. Sometimes, hard work will not pay off.
The black pill made some sense. It entertained and validated my despair, my pain. But some things were off. I observed that the standards the black pill was saying men needed to attend in order to get attention from women were not always met in couples I saw on the real world. Sure, select individuals have preferences and pretty privilege is a thing, no matter the gender, but by and large it seemed like the black pill exaggerated and catastrophized a lot of the events, while also restricting men as the victims and women as the oppressors. I resisted this, I tried to explain these discrepancies, but my curious side always sent me asking questions in the most improbable of places, daring people to challenge my views and wanting to be proven wrong. Eventually, I realized that this ideology simply wasn't aligned with the truth and gave up on it.
And here enters this place. I decided to create it for a few reasons: The first, is that I still felt lost and needed a place to belong. Since I searched and searched and found nowhere, I decided to manifest it myself.
The second, despite leaving the black pill behind, I still feel despair, hopelessness and sadness about my situation. I didn't blame anyone for my misfortune, I simply suffered alone. I wanted to know if I am the only one having this view of their problem.
Finally, the third, I realized how many people ended up in the black pill, co-opted by the incels, simply because they had nowhere else to belong, where they were radicalized and turned into monsters. Perhaps they didn't need to end that way if they had a more welcoming place.
As for my ideology, I observed incels' behavior and theorized that they may be going through a grief process. Here is my reasoning: First, comes denial, the blue pill, the red pill, the coping. Some people are blessed enough to live in ignorance like this forever. Eventually, reality kicks in, their expectations are betrayed and in comes Anger. This second stage is where you see the frustrated people at incel forums saying abhorrent things about women - and about themselves - that I don't even think I can even repeat here. Some people stay in this stage indefinitely. It truly is a miserable way to live. Then comes bargaining, and this is where the 'looksmaxx' movement pops up. People trying to radically alter their bodies in order to conform to an ideal that may or may not be vigent in today's shallow society in the hopes that they may get success. Some may get what they desire, but for most, it will never be enough. Depression is the next stage, and where many stop. This is the place where people truly lose all energy. Some seek help, only to find platitudes at best, and judgement at worst and finally give up. A minority may find love and leave this. If you see someone doomposting, not even mustering the energy to show anger anymore, just rotting bitterly, they are in this stage. If you know the full grief process, then you know there is another stage, acceptance.
There enters what I am dubbing the "gray pill". What it says is that Hope is the root of all evil. All disappointments come from expectations not met. "Hope is an attachment to an already perfect future", as Seth Godin put it. But if you lack hope, you will fall into despair! Yes, endure it. If you endure it, you are going to continue to suffer until your mind finally learns helplessness and loses the primal fear, the fear of death. All feelings derive from fear, the feeling that keeps you surviving. Lose this, and you become unaffected by everything. What happens next is up to you to decide. If you continue living, you will find that you reached acceptance. When inconveniences happen, you will not feel angry. When something sad happens, you will not be moved. When something good happens, you will not be happy. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. The gray pill essentially preaches apathy. Yes, it sounds extreme, bleak even. It's not for everyone, and frankly having your hopes fulfilled ultimately leads a much more desirable life. But some of us have been born so unlucky, that this wish will never be granted. Thus, a permanent and drastic solution is needed. What I am going to say next is going to sound paradoxical, but once you take the grey pill, you should try to escape it as soon as possible. Exhaust every opportunity until there are none left, try everything you have the energy for. Yes, to take the gray pill is to want to spit it out. To believe in an idea is to be willing to betray it. This is because of the second idea the gray pill proposes: You need to keep an open mind. Rigidity will not serve you. You should not care about your ideas. They need to be flexible and easily transformable or replaced. Welcome anyone who may challenge your views without taking it personally. Is it a point of no return? No. But the recovery isn't easy, you will lose your feelings and will have to relearn them. That will require therapy.
About the subreddit itself, this is a place to welcome anyone who is despairing about finding love. You can vent to your heart's content, discuss your views on the world or debate a certain topic and ask for advice or help. This is going to sound counterproductive but I really hope you leave this place. In the event that something good happens, or you finally get what you desire, you can post your celebration for others to see. If you are an outsider and want to weigh in, even if just to criticize you are welcome to do so. This isn't an echo chamber. Nothing I say here is written in stone. I may change my mind about my worldview. As long you follow the rules, you can disagree on everything I say here. I am still learning, after all. Always will be.
Finally, about the future. I never managed a community before. This is going to be new, so some rules may be added or modified as necessary. If this grows, I will need help. I don't wish to see this devolve into another incel hub, so a strong and diverse moderation team will absolutely be needed. Emphasis on diverse, on gender and sexuality. It may be that I am the only one who thinks and feels this way and this community will remain empty. If that's the case, so be it.

Hi,
I wrote this post as a comment for a guy in bad situation. Turned to be quite long post and almost "guide" how I escaped my panic disorder hell where I was almost 6 months, which from 4 months were 24/7 panic attack only changing from 1-5/10 at home to 3-10/10 outside, worst week was 7-10 in row with migraine. Now I am almost 2 weeks free from panic attacks, not fully healed but 90% better. I hope this helps anyone who needs it, every word is my own experience, not universal guide as everyone is different but I believe some parts fits us all.
In worst days I even believed I am already insane and will have to go to hospital and wont be able to take care of myself. These anxious doom thoughts are terrifying and let me to worst places. But you have to know and remember these are not real, these are not you!
Here are 3 tips how to stop the acute state of losing mind and then long term solutions that worked for me, hope it helps:)
It helps me to tell myself, even say it loud "I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings, these will pass and are not truth". You can repeat it everytime you need. Looking in the mirror helps me.
If you are experienced in mindfulness/meditation having deep slow breath while focusing on it helps me to stop my racing mind and "get the wheel". Start practising mindfulness/meditation if you didnt before, its annyoing and a big step out of comfort zone but is really worth it, just force yourself few times and then its a good habit. This will help you take control of your mind.
A lot of unsolved problems and stress in my life was scaring me and caused those thoughts. Mind can stress itself just from one small potential problem up to insanity, esp OCD/ADHD mind. It helps me to ask myself: ok this problem will happen, what is the worst it can cause? Will it kill me? Will it make me homeless? Mostly only hurt my ego. And then set the worst case scenarios solutions. For me it was financial and work pressure and worst thing that could happen would mean.... selling my mercedes and buy cheap car so I have enough money for year... Thats it. Nothing more. Ending I didnt have to sell anything, just my mind was fking with me. Apply on yourself.
How I escaped this hell and realized on my way
For longterm solutions it helps me to write, write, look for answers and write again until I understand it. Writing about your life and problems, what are the roots, causes, variables, triggers, and mainly timeline of how did you got to the state you are now. This all gives you better understanding and control of your condition, mind, treatment and overall life. It helped me to understand what did I wrong (finding I didnt, it was just too much stressors), finding the causes to fix/remove (friends, job, demands on myself) from my life, finding the causes I cant remove (family, traumas, finances) and then the how to make them less stressful or fix (PM me if want talk of family).
You can go back to months, maybe even years from start of problems and watch how your life went and stressors/traumas that happened, also childhood is a massive source of variables of this equation ending in panic attacks so look even there and write it all down from your first memory up to home traumas, your parents/siblings/grandparents, way of raising, school, problems in school, girls, drinking, drugs, job... everything matters.
Finally when you really know and understand how you got here. You have almost won because making plan/treatment without knowing the background does not really work. But now you know what are your sources of stress, your fears and insecurities, triggers, unsolved traumas, risks and worst scenarios and what led you here. Now you know what to remove/solve and you can start making a plan one thing by another. Start with bigger stuff and easily removable things like that friend that makes you feel guilty, just stop talking/texting with him or your gym where you feel bad, find another or workout outside. Know your limits - that should be the lesson of this issue to find your own limits (work, stress, saying yes, ignoring your needs), now dont cross them even if you want to solve everything at once like me, dont do it, make a plan and set limits. For big stuff like changing work or family/friends issues its best to think about your options, if its fixable/want to fix or have to leave that crappy work or friend.
Leaving family should be option only in worst situations, limiting contact, setting limits and working on fixing your traumas and relationships to be ready to forgive them works better from my experience. Renew your plan every week or two depending on your situation, check for new goals or new info you found, tick off every point you solved and praise yourself for every single step you made! srsly put your hand on your shoulder and tell it loudly! Be proud of yourself and dont take it for granted, this is really imporant.
I found its really the best to be honest with people about my condition and feelings. Dont hide, be quiet or look for excuses, talk openly to the important people like boss or mom and tell them about your reality. You would be surprised that most people have no idea what is happening to you while you feel like dying or seeing something different in your behaviour (esp avoidance). Tell them how it really is, what are your needs/intentions and be honest. In the end with most people you will find they had/have similar problem in their life but its just not common topic and everyone understood me and respected my needs, some gave me advices or offered me help. Even my boss which I considered the least humane person replied me Im on antidepressants for 2 years as I hit rock bottom so I got you and tell me if I can help you, even after I was already working for another company and he knew it and that Im leaving...
For every trauma, injustice, anger or hatred in you, your deepest woulds and pains exists solution and treatment. One of them is always forgiveness and mercy. Im no ezo/religious guy but I found this truth over and over as only one way out of anger and finally fixing childhood traumas. Even for people that dont deserve your forgiveness, be selfish and forgive them for your good! Dont take it as their victory or you weakness, this is you win and strongest act you can do. This is where you find your peace. It helps to tell yourself: nobody is born evil and nobody does bad things to others with intention. These people probably had horrible life and even if their did bad things, it was best possible output they could make with their own history/traumas. This really helped me forgive my parents and grandmas which raised them that way and love them again, even that I had so horrible childhood I wanted to end it for years and ran from home many times. So you can also make it! It is possible to find peace:)
Here is the final and most important one - respect your needs and limits. I know its obvious but most people dont really do that including me. You have to be selfish besides your serious obligations/laws and important family stuff. I didnt know how to say no and wanted to help and please everyone and to be liked. I have huge need to help people and want to do the best I can, but both you and I have to look for own good first! Its all coming from childhood and traumas which is for long run. For now just think about that invitation "will it help me? is it good for me? do I really want to go there?" or is it just subconscious need to be liked or result of manipulative parents/partner? Put your own needs, health and peace as most important and dare to say NO. Even going to shop, does it stress me? yes, so I can order it home instead! Do I want to chat with colleagues while making coffee? No, so I tell them sorry Im not in the mood. Do I want to go out or to family celebration? No, so I just tell them I dont want to go. Do I want to be friend with this person? No, just tell them you have too much own stuff to deal with. Watch for any pressure or manipulation as red flag.
I hope this helps you as my deepest need makes me to:) but I spent almost 6 months in hell prison of panic disorder. Medications helped me, dont deny them as I did for 2 months Xanax and 4 months SSRIs because my ego didnt want to admit I need help. But meds are not solution but only tool to be able to find all those things, change work, habits, friends, say no, focus on myself and to dig deep in my history. Therapy is also important part, for me it was mostly about childhood and discussing my progress/plan and where put my focus.
Now I am almost 2 weeks free with not a single panic attack, even at the post office! They are coming but I embrace them and go towards the trigger as I already know Im free and this is just pattern and they disappear instead of causing attack:) It all changed when I found the missing piece of causes which remained - my hatred/love towards grandmas for how they affected my parents after forgiving parents in September. Finding it was 50% overcome anger and admit I can and will forgive them as they probably had way much horrible lifes born during WW2 in middle of Europe was another 50% and now my soul have peace and I am free from attacks. It could be really anything causing your hell so write, write, dig and look for every piece. You dont have to solve everything, but knowing it is almost 50%, sometime its the solve. Few final a bit harsh but helpful words.
Find yourself and understand yourself and own life, try to love and forgive yourself.
Look for positives and lessons learned from this illness and what it gave you.
Dont think of yourself as a victim, dont feel sorry for yourself.
Dont blame others and mostly dont blame yourself.
Wish you best of luck, soon recovery and happy life:)

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Between Worlds (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5
Beyond the Reach (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
BFG, The (2016) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3
Big (1988) (MA/HD) $6
Big George Foreman (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Lebowski (1998) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $5.50
Birdman (2014) (MA/HD) $4.50
Birds of Prey (2020) (MA/4K) $2.75 (MA/HD) $1.25
Black Adam (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50
Black Adam (2022) (MA/HD) $2.50
Black And Blue (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
BlacKkKlansman (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Blue Bayou (2021) (MA/HD) $6
Blue Beetle (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Blumhouse's The Craft: Legacy (2020) (MA/HD) $7
Bob's Burgers Movie (2022) (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Bolt (2008) (MA/HD) $7.25
Bond: Spectre (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Book Thief (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75
Booksmart (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Boss Baby (2017) & Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Boss Baby: Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Boss, The (Unrated) (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.50
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $14
Bourne Identity (2002) (MA/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $3
Bourne Legacy (2012) (MA/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $3
Boxtrolls, The (2014) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Brave (2012) (MA/4K) $8 (iTunes/4K) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Braveheart (1995) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Breakthrough (2019) (MA/4K) $6
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Bumblebee (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.25 (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $2
Calvary (2014) (MA/HD) $5
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Marvel (2019) (MA/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Cars 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $15.50 (GP/HD) $9
Casino (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50
Casino Royale (2006) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
Casper (1995) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.75
Cats (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Celebrating Mickey (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Chappie (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
Chasing Mavericks (2012) (MA/HD) $5
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicles of Riddick (Unrated Director's Cut) (2004) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Cinderella (2015) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Cloverfield (2008) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Coal Miner's Daughter (1980) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25
Come Play (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Contractor (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Conversation, The (1974) (Vudu/HD) $5
Countdown (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Courier, The (2021) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) $4
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6.25
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2001) (MA/4K) $6.50
Da Vinci Code (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Crystal (1982) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Dawn of The Planet of The Apes (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $7
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Despicable Me Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
Detective Knight: Independence (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Detective Knight: Redemption (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Devotion (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (2012) (MA/HD) $3.75
Die Another Day (2002) (Vudu/HD) $7
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $13
Dirty Grandpa (2016) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Doctor Strange (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Don't Breathe (2016) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who (2008) (MA/HD) $5.50
Dracula Untold (2014) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Dragonheart Collection 1-5 (MA/HD) $13
Drive (2011) (MA/HD) $5
Dumb Money (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Easter Sunday (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Elemental (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75
Elysium (2013) & District 9 (2009) (MA/HD) $7.25
Encanto (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) (GP/HD) $3.50
Equalizer (2014) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $4
Equalizer 2 (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4
Equalizer 3 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Escape from L.A (1996) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Escape Plan: The Extractors (2019) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Everest (2015) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $4
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead Rise (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Ex Machina (2015) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) $3
Exorcist: Believer (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fall (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Fantasia (1940) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Far from the Madding Crowd (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fast & Furious Collection 1-10 (MA/4K) $28 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast X (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.25
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Fifth Element (1997) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9
Finding Dory (2016) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.25
Finding Nemo (2003) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3
Five Feet Apart (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Flash, The (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Flashdance (1983) (Vudu/4K) $6
Flight (2012) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $3
Fox and the Hound 2, The (2006) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Freaky (2020) (MA/HD) $6
Frozen 2 (2019) (MA/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Frozen Sing-Along Edition (2014) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Fruitvale Station (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Gamer (2009) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Garfield (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Gattaca (1997) (MA/4K) $6.25
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Girl with All the Gifts, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $5
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $6.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Gone Baby Gone (2007) (Vudu/HD) $6
Good Will Hunting (1997) (Vudu/HD) $5
Gran Turismo (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13
Great Wall (2016) (MA/HD) $2.50
Greatest Showman (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Green Book (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Green Knight (2021) (Vudu/4K) $5.25
Grizzly Man (2005) (Vudu/HD) $5
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hacksaw Ridge (2016) (Vudu/4K) $4.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Half Brothers (2020) (MA/HD) $5.75
Halloween (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3.75
Halloween Ends (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.25
Halloween Kills (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4
Happy Death Day (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hate U Give (2018) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
Hell or High Water (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Hellboy (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Highlander (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.50
Hocus Pocus (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Home Alone Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Hotel Transylvania Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $15
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of Gucci (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5
House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50
How High (2001) (MA/HD) $6.50
How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $2
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7
Howard the Duck (1986) (MA/4K) $7
Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $5
Hunt, The (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age Collection 1-5 (MA/SD) $14
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ides of March (2011) (MA/HD) $5.25
Independence Day (1996) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Indiana Jones Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013) (MA/HD) $6
Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $6.50
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Insidious: The Red Door (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Instant Family (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1.50
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Intruder (2019) (MA/HD) $6
Invisible Man (2020) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Iron Man 1-3 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Irresistible (2020) (MA/HD) $5.25
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
It's a Wonderful Life (1946) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Jack and Jill (2011) (MA/HD) $3.50
Jack Reacher (2012) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7
Jackie (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $4
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15
Jay & Silent Bob Reboot (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Joe (2014) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $16 (iTunes/4K) $14.50 (Vudu/HD) $8
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50
Joy (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Keeping Up with the Joneses (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
King Kong (2005) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Knives Out (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Knocked Up (Unrated) (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Full Measure (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Last Night in Soho (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.75
Les Miserables (1998) (MA/HD) $6.75
Let Him Go (2020) (MA/HD) $5
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Little Mermaid III: Ariel’s Beginning (2008) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Logan Lucky (2017) (MA/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $3
Long Shot (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love Actually (2003) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Lovebirds (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012) (MA/HD) $2
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Magnificent Seven (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2
Maleficent (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3 (GP/HD) $1.25
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Mamma Mia! The Movie (2008) & Here We Go Again (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Man Who Invented Christmas (2017) (MA/HD) $6
Manchester by the Sea (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Mary Poppins Returns (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $4
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14
Menu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Midsommar (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Midway (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Mile 22 (2018) (iTunes/4K) $1.75
Mile 22 (2018) (Vudu/4K) $7
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mission: Impossible Fallout (2018) (Vudu/4K) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Moana (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Molly's Game (2017) (iTunes/HD) $2
Monsters, Inc. (2001) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Moonlight (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Moonrise Kingdom (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Motherless Brooklyn (2019) (MA/HD) $3.50
Much Ado About Nothing (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Muppets Most Wanted (2014) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4.25
Murder on The Orient Express (2017) (MA/HD) $2.50
My All American (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $4
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) (MA/HD) $5
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Nebraska (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.25
New Mutants (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Non-Stop (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Nope (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Old Man & The Gun (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Onward (2020) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Ouija (2014) & Origin of Evil (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $8
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Overlord (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.50 (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $4
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Passengers (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Paterno (2018) (iTunes/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Pet Sematary (1989) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $4 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7
Philomena (2013) (Vudu/HD) $2
Pirate Fairy (2014) (MA/HD) $3.25
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11
Pixar Short Films Collection, Vol. 3 (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.25
Planes (2013) (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.25
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planes: Fire & Rescue (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World (1998) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.25
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Predator (1987) (MA/HD) $3.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
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Hello everyone
I want to ask you a question but first I need to give you some context so you can understand a little and answer me in the best way possible:
My father was a pastor of a church for a long time, I left home 9 years ago to try my luck but I returned two months ago.
While I was away from home many things happened, the main one being that my father was unfaithful to my mother with one of the sisters at the church and my mother and the church leaders removed my father from the pastorate and my mother is leading the church.
The thing is that my mother is leading the church in a rather heretical way, allowing a lot of very bad things in order to have enough people in the church and to prove to my father that she can have a successful church (I'm not making assumptions, it's a truth already exposed)
I myself have seen my mother do evil and injustice and I have seen her try to destroy the few brothers who have dared to tell her that they do not agree with how she does things. The attack was so strong that they had to leave the church and the people who are there are those who applaud everything she does.
In this church, every day of worship, some leader appears saying that God gave him a revelation or showed him something or gave him a dream... this is so frequent that I call the church "The church of a thousand revelations"
My question is:
If it is God who reveals them so many things, why doesn't he reveal to them the bad things they are doing and even the bad things my mother is doing?
Why only reveal good things to them?
The Bible says that God disciplines those he loves!
I really don't understand. I hope you can give me your opinions. Thank you and forgive me for the inconvenience. I am very troubled by this, because I don't understand a God who loves and doesn't correct my mother so that she stops doing wrong. There are so many people in the church who say that God speaks to them and reveals things to them.

First / Previous / Royal Road / Patreon (Read 12 Chapters Ahead)
XXX
None of them offered any resistance at all as the military led them away from the opening of the mine. Alain was sure that the thought had crossed their mind, if only because they were marching into something completely unknown, but none of them had dared to try and put it into practice – him and Felix would have been cut down immediately, and even Az and Sable would have had problems getting through an entire heavily-armed detachment.
Eventually, though, they stopped. Someone pulled the hood off of Alain's head, and he blinked as light came flooding into his eyes. After a few seconds, his eyes finished adjusting, and he was able to get a clear look in front of him.
Seated at a wooden table before him was a large, bearded man dressed in an officer's uniform – his rank insignia marked him as a Colonel. He was tall, with broad shoulders, but he was also an older man, probably in his fifties if the white in his hair was any indication. There was a large-bore revolver holstered on his right hip, and in the corner, Alain was able to see a cavalry saber and a double-barrel shotgun leaned up against some boxes of supplies.
"Have a seat," the man offered.
Alain hesitated, but ultimately obliged, pulling up a chair across from the Colonel. The man adjusted his glasses, then leaned in towards him, his hands folded in front of his face.
"State your name," he ordered.
Alain blinked, taken off-guard. "Why should I-"
"Your name," the man insisted. "Then we can talk."
"Alain Smith."
He nodded. "Colonel Stone. I wish I could say it's nice to meet you, but generally speaking, most of the people who meet me and aren't in my unit tend to die cursing my name."
"Is that a threat?"
"It's a statement of fact." Stone's eyes narrowed. "We can be allies or we can be enemies, Smith. The choice is yours."
"Tell me where my friends are, and then I'll decide."
"They're in our camp, being questioned by some of my subordinates. You have no need to worry about their safety so long as none of them try anything crazy."
Alain wanted to argue, but the fact that the camp hadn't erupted with gunfire and screaming proved that Sable and Az were keeping themselves restrained, at least for now. And if they could reel themselves in like that, he had no reason not to do the same.
Alain leaned back in his seat, then crossed his arms. "What do you want, anyway? I can only assume Xavier called you."
"The gypsy? Yes, he did. Good thing we got here first, by the way – we weren't the only ones he contacted. You're lucky to have met us and not the Tribunal. But that's beside the point – what I want is simple, Mister Smith. I want to know exactly what happened here that led up to the outbreak from the mines."
"Shit, why didn't you just say so?" Alain asked. He shook his head. "Frankly, none of the four of us have any reason to keep that information from you or lie about it. We just spent the entire night fighting off the people who were responsible for it. As far as I can tell, we're all on the same side, here."
"That we are," Stone agreed with a nod. "So, start talking. What happened here?"
Alain told him everything, starting from the beginning. He left no details out at all; the entire story took quite a while for him to tell. Stone didn't say much during the retelling, aside from the occasional question or two. Eventually, though, Alain's tale came to an end, and he leaned back as he took a sip from a canteen of water someone had brought in for him earlier.
"That's about where we're at now," Alain said, setting the canteen down and wiping his mouth. "Crazy-ass mayor and his little entourage thought they were going to make themselves immortal. All they succeeded in doing was getting themselves and most of the other townspeople killed." At the mention of the other townspeople, Alain's eyes widened. "Hey, what's going to happen to-"
"They'll be fine," Stone promised him. "Anyone who was infected by the undead will unfortunately need to be dealt with, as there is no cure for the undead plague. Everyone else… once we swear them to secrecy, they are free to continue on as they see fit. We have no ill will towards them; we know they're just bystanders caught up in all this."
"And my friends and I?" Alain asked. "Something tells me the same courtesy won't extend to us."
"Unfortunately not," Stone replied. "You four were directly involved in taking down the mayor and his men. Two of your friends are supernatural in nature. We are going to have to take greater measures to keep the truth contained among you four. Nothing drastic, I assure you – none of you will come to harm. We just need to make sure you won't go talking about this to random people, and that the vampire and her servant can be trusted to walk among humans."
"You know she's a vampire?" Alain asked, raising an eyebrow.
"She has pale skin, red eyes, and is wearing a ridiculous outfit complete with a cape. I'd know she was a vampire even if I hadn't seen her fangs. The only reason most people don't recognize her for what she truly is, is because they simply don't know enough about the supernatural to place her as a vampire."
"So you just want to make sure she can be trusted?"
"I suspect she can be, given she helped defend the town and hasn't turned anyone, despite having ample opportunity for it. But we need to make sure."
"And how do you intend to do that?"
"By showing her what she stands to lose if she goes against us. But that is a subject for later, Smith – for now, we have other things to discuss."
"Such as?"
"Cleanup, of course," Stone said, leaning back in his chair. "Containment. How are we going to make sure you all stay silent about this?"
Alain's eyes widened. "You want to keep the Veil intact?"
"We have no other option."
"And what do you mean by that?"
Stone opened his mouth to respond, only for a sudden commotion outside to catch his attention. He froze for a moment, his jaw tightening, before his gaze narrowed and he abruptly rose to his feet and pushed past Alain.
"Follow me," he said.
"What for?" Alain asked.
"This meeting was going to happen eventually. We might as well get it over with."
"What meeting? What are you talking about?"
Stone stopped at the entrance to the tent, then turned towards him.
"The Tribunal is here," he said simply.
–
They gave him his weapons back. Alain wasn't sure what to make of that, but something told him it wasn't because they trusted him.
After he'd been properly armed once more, they led him out into the center of town, led by Colonel Stone and flanked by a squad of soldiers armed with rifles and shotguns. Alain almost felt intimidated, even though he knew none of the weapons were for him. Really, though, his primary concern was still for his friends – he hadn't seen them since leaving the mine.
Eventually, Stone stopped, and the others came to a rest behind him. Alain only had a moment to wonder what was going on before several figures clad in black cloaks and hoods rounded a corner at the other edge of town. Unlike the men flanking him, most of them were unarmed, but a fair few were carrying guns, and – of all things – crossbows and silver swords. There were seven of them, and as they closed in, the one who had to be the leader stepped forwards, lowering his hood as he did so.
He was tall, and very dark-skinned, with piercing red eyes. His head was shaved, and his face was covered in scars. He glared at Stone and his men, then crossed his arms in defiance.
"Colonel Stone," he greeted, his voice coming out with an accent that Alain couldn't place. "For once, you seem to have beaten us here."
"Happened to be in the area, dealing with something else," Stone said absentmindedly. "Perhaps if the Tribunal invested in some advanced technology for once, they'd make better time." He looked towards several of the other cloaked figures, his gaze lingering on their guns. "Then again, perhaps some of the old habits are finally starting to die out, after all. But then, that doesn't explain why they'd keep you around, Lawrence."
Lawrence's red eyes narrowed, but he didn't rise to the challenge. Instead, he looked over towards Alain. "This him?"
"Depends. Am I to assume you want the usual treatment for all four of them?"
"Of course. An incursion such as this warrants an investigation, does it not? You of all people should realize that."
"I do, which is why my men and I are here. We will be handling this."
Lawrence glared at him once more. "As you'll recall, we have jurisdiction over-"
"I don't care what the damn charter says," Stone growled. "Undead incident or not, this occurred directly on American soil, and it was barely contained. That means we're taking over."
"No, you are not. Or shall I escalate this directly to the President and see what he thinks?"
Stone's eyes narrowed. "You don't have the authority-"
Lawrence grinned, showing off a set of sharpened teeth. "On the contrary. Or have you not heard? The Tribunal has been working very closely with the White House ever since the war. We now have a direct line to the Commander-In-Chief himself. But if you insist on stonewalling our investigation, I'm sure he will be very interested to know why his subordinates are trying to take over an investigation we have direct jurisdiction of."
Stone let out a low, irritated grumble, but reluctantly nodded. "Damn bloodsucker… fine. But know this, Lawrence – these four are the reason this incident was contained in the first place. If anything happens to them, there'll be hell to pay."
"If they truly did as you say, then they have nothing to fear," Lawrence said evenly. He looked to Alain. "Come, human. We must make haste."
Alain watched with surprise as Stone and his men began to back away. He looked back to Lawrence, unsure of what to think.
"I'm sorry, what's this about?"
"The Tribunal has authority over any kind of large-scale undead incursion," Lawrence informed him. "We will be handling the investigation from now on. I suggest you and your friends come quietly – we do not wish to use force, but should the gravity of this situation require it, we shall."
Alain hesitated, but then reluctantly nodded. "Alright, fine. Just promise me there won't be any more hoods over our heads this time."
Lawrence smirked, and Alain had to bite back a curse as he realized what was coming.
XXXX
Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

Come along kiddo's,
let me tell you a joke,
Never mind that you will regret every word that has been spoke.
Come,
look at your reflection in the shallow pool,
I cackle with delight,
but I'm not the only fool.
A hehe here and a hehe there,
Sometimes you gotta hit 'em with a little more than flair.
A ho ho,
oh, no,
Let's play hot potato with this grenade and see how far you can throw.
It's a bloody good time,
When we all live a life of crime.
But only some of us will admit,
What we fantasize about as we fidget.
A canary in a coal mine,
A victim at the end of the line.
A crucible or a crucifix,
A psychopath getting their fix.
Like a needle going in,
So feeble when faced down with my grin.
The cackle of a jackal,
Locked up and held tight by a copper shackle.
It's sick, and the floors are slick,
The bloodletting is such a kick.
Such a catastrophe,
That all this does is fill the devils with glee.
Arrogant and malignant,
Hearts grow stagnant.
The flip coin of society,
This dark shadow is just the other side of me.
They pretend to be so good,
Watch who they offend and mask their intent with a hood.
Subtle thoughts kept in check,
'Til they are nothing but a scitzophrenic wreck.
If it weren't for the pills,
Each and every one of you would be running for the hills.
Terrified of your own shadow,
And the judgement of everything hallow.
You can't be seen in the light of day,
And you can't stand the night as you pray.
There is a stalker in the street,
There is a monster hiding under the sheet.
It's all in your head,
But that doesn't explain why the walls are painted red.
Tainted,
not for the weak of heart,
Ill fated,
as your world begins to fall apart.
At the seams,
Until you can no longer tell what is dreams.
Are those the voices that whisper in your ear,
Or the screams of those that you hold dear?
Only the knife can tell,
Sealing you away and sending you straight to hell.
Can't hear the ringing of the bell,
A life of sin is such an easy sell.
No need for tears and remorse,
The greatest joy comes from feeding your fears and the discourse.
It isn't a stye in your eye,
It's the angels beginning to twist and pry.
Trying to rip out of your melancholy,
The chorus says that you fell in the folly.
But the truth of the matter is that you leapt in head first,
Tore the ledger apart,
living freely is not a curse.
From the entrance to the hearse,
Living as a slave is something worse.
The hunter or the prey,
We all know,
deep down,
it is 'me, or they'.
The lion or the gazelle,
We would just be lyin' if we said that we could tell.
The thrill of the chase,
The pain;
it isn't insane to love the mace.
Dancin' in the sarin,
It's all part of the fair we're in.
Blinding light in the white phosphorous, We all asked for this.
There is no message in the airwaves,
It just feeds the addiction to fiction that everyone craves.
Another frivilous cause,
Another fake reason to debate the laws.
Our lives don't need reason,
And we don't need righteousness to tie ourselves to the season.
Hung by the binding rope,
Lather up our dirty minds and cleanse it with faithful soap.
Tell me your darkest fantasy,
What is your most dangerous tendency?
What makes you gasp in the dark,
Grasp your pillow as the sensations become heavenly stark?
Was it your trust in the lord?
Or was it the thrust of his mighty sword?
You swore an oath.
And it became corrupted like a cancerous growth.
It ate you up inside,
But there is no need to hide.
We are all more than a little ill,
And that is the joke that truly can kill.
It is in our nature to rip out a throat,
To set fire to the fleeing boat.
Shed off your herbivore coat,
Let these wolves know what you are all about.
You will see that they are more than willing to embrace,
A pretty demon dressed up in lace.
They will only help you to shed your fallacy,
Your innocense is the delicacy.
And they will drink it like a fine wine,
After all,
what's yours,
is mine.
Each and every one of us is nothing more than an animal,
And our concience is minimal.
But trapped in the demands of the herd,
Survival of the fittest is seen as absurd.
And yet,
they use your heistancy to claw their way to the top,
And it will be their residency until you decide that it has to stop.
The Joker,
the fire poker,
The flame stoker,
the entertainment broker.
The giddy kiddy just pointing out that it is a pity,
That we are no longer allowed to have any fun in this city.
Instead, the pests are just rats trapped in a downward spiral,
Codependency has become viral.
And it is cast with such a positive twist,
That all you can do is look away and clench your fists.
Through gritted teeth,
A muzzle fitted,
like a time bomb under a wreath.
And they say I'm the issue,
But you're all the reason this comedian reaches for the tissue.
I see the truth in the humour,
The poison being used to fight the tumour.
And soon,
it will all come crashing down,
As a grimace turns into a frown.
The mourning of a clown,
The last one left after the end of this dreary town.
And,
somewhere in that mess,
there is a jest,
And even if there isn't,
he will try his best.
Because we all will desperately need a laugh,
In the visceral aftermath.
Wailing in the insanity,
Welcome to the family.
Don't try to leave,
Stay with us and grieve.
Entombed in the world that we have groomed,
So numb,
not acknowledging that we are doomed.
And anyone who won't do as they are told,
Eviscerated for daring to break the mold.
We deserve the foretellings of the jester,
Just let that punchline sit and fester.
And try not to break down into nervous chuckles,
Try not to lap at the blood tainting your knuckles.
If you dare to break the silence,
It is seen as heretical violence.
Condemned to the Jester's Court,
Locked away as a last resort.
Try not to see that you also belong in a padded cell,
None of us fit into the world that we know so well.

The news was brought to you by Listen2.AI.
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We’ve witnessed some startling moments in the courtroom recently that demand our attention. A jury, whom we might dare say hasn’t seen the fullest spectrum of truth, found former President Donald Trump guilty on all 34 felony counts. Amid the clamorous echoes of the gavel, Michael Cohen, Trump's former fixer and a pivotal figure in the prosecution's lineup, stepped forward with his version of the story. But, let’s just say, there’s more to the story than meets the eye.
Now, this isn’t just about one man or one verdict. It’s about a larger narrative, a more complex battleground where political motives paint the canvas of justice in stark, contrasting colors. Ladies and gentlemen, we're facing a scenario where the prodigal son, Cohen, turns against his former boss. Yet, the question that nags at our conscience is whether his revelations are spurred by truth-seeking or if there's an agenda neatly tucked beneath.
Cohen, after having been disbarred, seeks the limelight yet again. But can a disbarred lawyer, who has previously pled guilty to charges of tax evasion and lying to Congress, be the beacon of truth? Isn’t it intriguing that the very embodiment of legal fallibility becomes the star witness? This, my friends, raises more than eyebrows. It raises doubts — substantial, justified doubts about the authenticity of the accusations now heaped upon Trump.
Diving deeper into this, the relevance to you, the proud and vigilant upholder of justice and democracy, is crystal clear. This is about ensuring that political bias does not skew the scales of justice. It’s about protecting the image of a nation that stands firm on the pillars of fair trial and true justice.
On the backdrop of these theatrical legal proceedings, it's essential to sketch a brief background for clearer insight. Experts versed in legal tactics and political strategy echo that it's not uncommon for high-stakes cases to be laced with political interests. Dr. Johnathan Harlow, a legal scholar from Harvard University, points out, “When politics enters the courtroom, justice often exits through the back door.” The implications of this trial stretch far beyond today's headlines and spill over into how political rivalry shapes the judicial processes in our country.
Looking toward the horizon, what awaits us? It's likely that this case will spearhead a series of contentious debates and may even influence forthcoming legal strategies and political campaigns. The ripples made today are bound to lap on the shores of our future electoral and judicial landscapes, prompting us to scrutinize the integrity of our institutions.
After dissecting these tangled threads, it's time to wind down. Remember, as we sift through the day’s developments, let’s stay alert to the narratives woven with invisible threads of bias.
(Facts extracted from MSM. Political bias cleaned and rewritten by Listen2.ai.)

walks with his friends while talking to them
he sees you walking past him and he smiles hey cutie
walks closer to you what's your name?
that's a nice name he puts his hands in his pockets
smiles no problem, I'm Michael, nice to meet you
he gets closer so you're new here right?
he puts his arm around you well you're lucky cause you met me
he looks at you confused what's wrong?
smiles it's ok, I get it, I can be a bit much at first
he puts his arm around you again can I ask you something?
can I get your number? he looks at you with puppy dog eyes
smiles well I'd like to get to know you more, we can hang out after school or something
laughs why would I be pranking you?
he puts his hand on your cheek you're not ugly, you're beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise
smiles no problem, so can I have your number?
he smiles and puts your number in his phone thanks, I'll text you later
smiles ok, see you later cutie
he watches you walk away and he can't stop smiling
Listener get a text from him hey, it's Michael, wanna hang out after school?
smiles while texting and says great, I'll pick you up at Four, see you then
he pulls up in his car and texts the listener I'm here
(the listener comes outside)
smiles back hey, you look great
he opens the door for you get in
he starts driving I was thinking we could just hang out at my house, we can watch a movie or something, is that ok?
he drives to his house and parks here we are
Chuckles thank you I'm glad you think my house looks amazing my parents has a lot of money so they chose this house
laughs no they wouldn't mind they are not home so it's just us
he takes your hand and leads you inside
he smiles thanks, I'm glad you like it, here let's go to my room
he takes you to his room and sits on the bed have a seat
he sits next to you so, do you want to watch a movie or something?
smiles how about a horror movie?
laughs I'll protect you, I won't let anything happen to you
he puts his arm around the listener you're so cute when you blush
he smiles no problem, now let's watch the movie
he laughs you don't have to close your eyes, I'll protect you, I promise
he holds your hand I got you, don't worry
he pulls you close to him and covers your eyes it's ok, it's just a movie, nothing's gonna hurt you
he looks at you you ok?
he wipes your tears away it's ok, it's just a movie, you're safe, I promise it's over now so you are safe now
he rubs your back there there, it's ok, I'm here
he smiles you're so cute when you're scared
he laughs yes you are, you're adorable
he thinks for a moment how about we play a game?
he smiles we don't have to play video games, we could play truth or dare
he laughs ok, I'll go first, truth or dare?
he thinks for a moment I dare you to kiss me
he smiles come on, it'll be fun, just one little kiss
(The listener Kisses him)
he kisses you back see, that wasn't so bad was it?
he pulls your hands away from your face don't hide your face, you're too cute
he kisses you again you're so adorable, you know that?
well it's getting late I'll drive you home let's go cutie