Diferent letters for myspace
World Socialist Movement
2012.06.26 12:12 darrelljon World Socialist Movement
World Socialist Movement
2024.05.17 00:01 GlennjaminBee The Maylor Iceberg
 | Leaving this here so we can refer to it for what we have and haven't discussed yet lol. Got it from https://x.com/stateofgayze/status/1791195297646854614 submitted by GlennjaminBee to taylorandmatty [link] [comments] |
2024.05.13 02:01 F4n0ne Need help with Function Keys - Desktop OMEN 45L GT22-0xxx
Hello!
I am in need of help: for the last few months I have been unable to use my F9 key inside videogames, (whenever it should quicksave/load it does nothing, if it instead should open an important menu like in Stellaris it also does nothing).
They key itself works as intended when I assign it any other key function and behaves like any other key I assign it to, ( writting the letter I change it with, having any other function key function on it etc...).
If I assing any other key the default f9 function, the new key will also not do anything, which leads me to believe the problem is the default windows f9 key.
I have been searching how to disable the function keys to no avail and it is really bugging me since depending on the game/software having to go through multiple menus just to acess something that used to be as simple as a keypress really ends up taking a lot of time
If it makes any diference I am using a razor blackwidow V3 keyboard, (the key itself also has no macros or anything, it literally only has the default function) and Windows 11.
Thank you in advance for your time <3
submitted by F4n0ne to HPOmen [link] [comments]
I am in need of help: for the last few months I have been unable to use my F9 key inside videogames, (whenever it should quicksave/load it does nothing, if it instead should open an important menu like in Stellaris it also does nothing).
They key itself works as intended when I assign it any other key function and behaves like any other key I assign it to, ( writting the letter I change it with, having any other function key function on it etc...).
If I assing any other key the default f9 function, the new key will also not do anything, which leads me to believe the problem is the default windows f9 key.
I have been searching how to disable the function keys to no avail and it is really bugging me since depending on the game/software having to go through multiple menus just to acess something that used to be as simple as a keypress really ends up taking a lot of time
If it makes any diference I am using a razor blackwidow V3 keyboard, (the key itself also has no macros or anything, it literally only has the default function) and Windows 11.
Thank you in advance for your time <3
2024.05.10 20:28 pillowcase-of-eels [Music] Emilie Autumn's Asylum, pt. 5 – Musician spends years building vibrant and loyal audience; single-sentence comment from concerned fan triggers civil war and ruins everything forever
🪞 “It's much easier to get in that it is to get out,” Emilie Autumn used to say. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 - Part 4.2
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.
EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.
The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?
* sound of archduke getting shot *
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?
submitted by pillowcase-of-eels to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]
She was not wrong. Welcome back to the Asylum write-up!
In this installment, we're finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the enmity between EA and her fans.
It's time for war. It's time for blood. It's time... for tea. 🎵
THE PRESENT DAY: “ASK ME ANYTHING (WELL, NOT QUITE)”
"Ask me anything" titles are catchy, and that’s why I’m using one. But, obviously, don’t ask me anything, by which I mean that, if you think I wouldn’t answer it, you’re probably right. Ask me something really good. I’d love to answer you. I’d love to have comments on these posts, in fact, so that I could answer questions there regularly and ask you things as well, but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or so Einstein is supposed to have said, and attempting to create yet another interactive online venue after every previous attempt has ended in heartbreak—forums, facebook groups, social media accounts—it would indeed be insanity to think that this time would be any different. So there are no comments. This too is heartbreaking in the sense that, and you may not realize this, but I desperately want to connect more completely with you—to be able to intelligently converse and share and exchange. We can do that in person, of course, because the wrong people never show up in person. Isn’t that funny… So, perhaps we’ll have to arrange that;). I’ll start you off with an example question I’d want to know if I were you (I can almost guarantee that you do not want to know this). Q. Hey EA, how do you keep your wireless bodypack transmitter secure when you are leaping about in skimpy costumes and doing frequent costume changes? Also, dye your roots. A. Fantastic question, EA, and I just dyed my roots thank you very much. ... (Deleted blog post followed by a year of radio silence, 2022 📝)Sooo. For the past five-ish years, the vibe in the Asylum has been that of a protracted Christmas dinner where everyone is tensely moving their food around in their plate, bracing themselves for whatever will trigger the screaming match. Wondering what it's going to be this time. Weary old-timers make small talk about the food because no other topic feels safe. Every glance, every forced smile, is fraught with eons-old grudges and unspoken regrets; every nervous pleasantry sounds like a thinly-veiled accusation. Aunt Emilie always insists on hosting, but not-so-secretly hates having people over. Sooner or later, she finds a way to get all of these assholes out of her house. Most of the adult children are daydreaming about going no-contact.
Everyone ready for some dysfunctional family history?
CW for discussion of bullying, online harassment, mental illness stigma.
YE OLDEN DAYS: CUCKOOS OF A FEATHER NEST TOGETHER
In the beginning, it was beautiful.EA had the excellent instinct to start banking on her online presence📝 long before MySpace was even a thing. She had a website, several online stores, an active LiveJournal and a ProBoards forum right from the turn of the millennium.
In 2004, she attached an official forum to her website; the earliest archive shows 74 registered users. By the time Opheliac came out in 2006, that number had grown tenfold. And it was, by most accounts, a pretty dope place to be! (I should specify that this write-up focuses on the anglophone side of the fandom: there were also thriving fan-run communities in at least German, French, and Spanish. Because EA doesn't speak any of those languages, the lucky bastards were mostly left alone.)
Forum users enjoyed interacting with some of EA's closest IRL friends and associates – and with the mistress of the house herself (user flair: PsychoFiddler), when she occasionally responded to comments under her own posts. But that wasn't even the main appeal for many. For a long time, on top of all EA-related topics, the official forum had very active “Off-Topic” subforums, with lively and friendly conversation on a variety of subjects. (There was even a “Filthy Libertines (18+)” sub for a while, which was closed due to preemptive concerns about minors.) Swear words (not slurs) were allowed and encouraged, and moderation was overall pretty loose beyond basic enforcement of civility. There was a lot of mutual support, creativity, and solid banter going around.
It wasn't just about Emilie on the forums. People could chat about almost anything with near free reign, making connections and lifelong friends. ... This community mattered SO MUCH to people. They felt included, accepted, and understood within the walls of the Asylum. People invested their time and creative energy into keeping the forums a vibrant, active community, and made sure that carried over into the real world. ... I've never seen anything like it in a fan space. I doubt I ever will again. (@Asylum_Oracle - “Fandom History” Instagram highlight 🔍📝, which contains most of the sources for this segment.)And it did, indeed, carry over into the real world. There were numerous meet-ups – a few organized by EA, many more spontaneous. People who didn't know any other EA fans in real life, or were just excited to add new Plague Rats to their friend group, would regularly connect with other forum users from their area to meet up and hang out before EA shows. “Who else is dressing up??”
In 2008, for instance, EA held an afternoon meet-up at Lincoln Park in Chicago. 📺 The event was free to attend; it featured live acoustic music and a reading from EA's upcoming book, the intriguingly-titled Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls.
On the appointed day, EA rolled up in a fabulously tousled red wig, bedazzled white corset and steampunk-altered wedding dress. She had brought friends alongs. Sporting blue hair and a pink bustle and corset was her Chicago bestie, the main forum admin. Rocking a guitar and a top hat was EA's sound engineer, the soft-spoken wizard behind the Victoriandustrial sound, who was also a forum mod. The photographer from the original Opheliac cover art was there as well; he was formally introduced by EA and got his own round of applause.
People who would never normally be involved in an artist's fanbase were in EA's world. And not only were they known – they were respected and incredibly active with the fanbase. These people who managed an online message board were willing to engage in real-world meet-ups (with no security??) because of how tight-knit the community they had built was. People turned out to this event. People traveled to go to this event. It was a short reading of a book that hadn't been released yet, and wouldn't be for some time. Why? Because not only was it a chance to meet Emilie and listen to parts of the new book, but it was also a chance to hang out with their friends from the Asylum. ... The fandom really was a family for a lot of people. (@Asylum_Oracle)
“SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.”
It all started with The End.The End Records, that is! Quick refresher: in 2009, after three years or so with Trisol, EA split from the label over allegations that the owner was embezzling money from ticket sales. A few months later, she signed with The End Records. Understandably, EA still wanted to sell the album that had made her famous, and to which she had smartly retained the rights – which meant a brand new, “Deluxe” release of Opheliac. (Remember, from part 3? The one you could pre-order as a bundle with the book? Some projects are just cursed, I guess.)
At that point, Opheliac had been released three times already, as recently as the year before, with only slight variations in format and tracklist. (Yes, that is a theme in this story.) The End Records version would feature new cover art and a handful of new tracks, but overall, it was... you know... the same album.
(The following paragraphs are largely sourced from this excellent recap 🔍📝, which also provides potato screenshots for all quotes.)
One fateful day of August 2009, a user started a thread entitled “Opheliac US edition deluxe re-release??” in the “EA News” subforum. In the thread, some people were kind of balking at the re-do, pondering whether to buy the “new” Opheliac or sit this one out. Some expressed that after three years, they were jonesing for a new album. Others shared what B-sides or dream covers they would have liked to see included on the bonus disc. Just... fans being fans, in a fan discussion space.
And then EA jumped out from behind the curtains.
Fan: Okay. Before I start, I just want you to know that I think it's very good that EA is getting more popularity, and that she can release lots of albums, but - are 5 editions of the same album really needed? You may say now “ah, it's not the same, it has 2 bonus tracks” or whatever, but I mean: it's not new material. Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for it, maybe I'll even buy it, but I'm just wondering if she shouldn't keep herself busy with other (maybe more important) stuff? * hides * EA: Nobody's forcing you to buy it. Thanks.Record scratch.
Fan 1: is this Opheliac release version number 4? lol If she's recording NEW tracks, then surely they deserve to be sold by themselves, otherwise people are going to have to buy an album that they may have already bought twice (like me!). But... alas, I am a fool and adore everything this woman does... im buying it lol Fan 2: exactly – if it was just reissuing the last version of Opheliac to tap into new markets that would be fine (...) but if they start adding extra bits of material to albums people already have then the true muffins are going to feel obliged to buy new copies (...) EA: How exactly are you obliged to buy anything? Nobody is forcing you to spend a fucking penny, my dears. I suppose it would make more sense to you to simply not have my records available any more as the old label I just escaped from will no longer be distributing them? Forgive me for adding extra tracks. No obligation necessary....Okay, so I'm pretty sure that we can see both sides of the argument here. Fans are annoyed at the idea of spending money on barely-anything-new, because they love EA and buy every single CD she releases. EA is exasperated by fans acting like she's twisting their arm and somehow resenting the inclusion of new material, when she was just ensuring that her album would remain available for purchase and trying to keep things interesting.
But maybe we can also agree that those replies should have been screamed into a pillow rather than typed out on a keyboard.
EA was getting increasingly (and, I'll just say it: disproportionately) sarcastic and defensive in her replies. Enter poor FantineDormouse.
FantineDormouse meant well, I think. Maybe she thought, she's spiraling. Maybe she thought, friends don't let friends go down that road. Granted, FantineDormouse probably should have known better than to phrase it the way she did. Or to assume that EA perceived her as a friend.
Either way, at some point, FantineDormouse jumped in and posted the comment that finally made EA lose it. THE comment which, overnight, ended the honeymoon period of the Asylum, triggering a doomsday domino effect from which the fandom would never truly recover. Are you comfortably seated?
FantineDormouse: Uhm, Emilie, love, I don't mean to sound rude or anything... but maybe you should have a cup of tea and relax a little....
* sound of archduke getting shot *
EA: Excuse me? You can throw this onslaught of absolute cruel bullshit at me and those I work with in my own space that I own, and I can't say anything back? How fucking patronizing. Relax? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? FD: I'm not trying to piss you off even more, Emilie. And trust me, I have to deal with it myself, and as much as I would really love to punch the cunts I have to deal with in the face, I don't. You're pissed off, I get it. You're bipolar, which makes it 10x worse, I get that. I'm just not the person to stand around and do nothing when a fight where I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of regret is going on.Famous last words. Literally! Immediately after EA delivered her irate closing statement – which includes one of my all-time favorite EA zingers, bolded...
EA: I cannot believe this... You just don't stop, do you? So just because I've shared the personal information with you all that I happen to be bipolar, I can't get pissed off at all of you being perfectly awful in the very space that I pay fuckloads a month to have up (has it ever occurred to you all that I pay dearly for this space you play around in?) Why not just tell me that I must be upset because it's my time of the month? Seriously, get the fuck out of my house. You are unbelievable, and your level of patronization is almost criminal. Don't make me write another book. With muffins like you, who needs enemies? Nothing I say or feel is legitimate, not ever ever ever because I'm bipolar... discredited before I begin... unbelievable......FantineDormouse got permabanned.
Jaws dropped. After days of infighting between white knights, detractors, and crossfire negotiators, several mod resignations, and general mayhem surrounding the ban, EA made a post entitled “In Which: I Invite You to Make a Fucking Choice.” 📝 For brevity's sake (cue laugh track), I can't reproduce it in all of its righteous splendor, but it's quite a read. It runs the gamut from fair and articulate points about how mental illness shouldn't be used to discredit someone's legitimate anger... to histrionic commands that “deserters to the cause” should “turn in their weapons” if they can't handle her way of doing things.
To those of you who appear not to understand why said posts, most especially those of the banned party, were offensive to me, I give you the option to either educate yourselves on your own time and in your own space (because please never forget that this is my space that I share with all of you at my own expense, and in which I generally give you all the freedom I would wish for myself), or to resign your posts in the Asylum Army – this is not the place for you, and I humbly suggest that you turn your attention and support towards other artists of a more placid, non-controversial, and less opinionated nature; there are more than enough of them out there, and I’m sure they all have forums of their own.Some fans did leave. Most stuck around, whiplashed. Soon, the storm quieted down, and business as usual resumed on the forum. But something had been damaged beyond repair. The FantineDormouse fiasco had erected walls and drawn lines in the sand, both around EA and among her fans; its sad specter would haunt every Asylum crisis that spiked up forever after. “Fucking Patronizing Fucking” or “FPF” 🔍 became memetic shorthand in the fandom for overreaction and self-righteousness. 🐀
...And now you understand why, in the following years, some fans were so delicate and diplomatic in voicing their very legitimate complaints about messed-up orders, unsigned books, and puzzling lies... while unofficial platforms like Tumblr flourished with pent-up resentment and snark. 🦠
A NOTE ON HARASSMENT: “MAD GIRL, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU?”
Wouldn't they stop When you asked them to leave you alone? (“Mad Girl”, 2008 🎵)Now, let's be clear, because it should not be minimized: EA has also been the target of genuine online harassment. Based on the simple fact that she is a woman with a public presence on the internet, I have zero doubt that EA has received (and perhaps continues to receive) more than her share of truly vile, bigoted, creepy and threatening messages – and, knowing what I know about the darker recesses of the Asylum, a terrifying amount of emotional blackmail and obsessive projection from people who hold her to punitively high standards. I'm also inclined to believe that it started way before she ever did anything that warranted any backlash. And that fucking sucks. It's repulsive and inexcusable, and the people who harass her should crawl into a hole and live among the worms.
Notwithstanding. In my decade-plus of following EA drama, the public comments on EA's own platforms (where people knew she was likely to be reading) have been, for the most part... civil and nuanced, and relatively mindful of the human? Even very confrontational comments (some clearly written from a place of anger and desire to shame) rarely resorted to outright name-calling or cruelty. When abusive or bigoted language did crop up, it was often promptly shut down by other fans as gross and uncalled for. In short: I have, with mine own two eyes, in real time, read some of the comment sections that EA described as cesspools of blind rage and odious attacks, and... I just couldn't see it.
If anything, for a long time, a lot of the angry comments directed at EA during any given controversy read more like break-up letters to an ex-best friend: harsh, curt and targeted in a way that cuts deep.... but also kind of screams how much love you still have for this person, against your better judgement.
Not that it wouldn't mess a person up to get hundred of those in a matter of hours, even if they don't individually qualify as “abusive”.
It's worth noting that prior to becoming semi-famous and regretting it, EA was also (by her own account and among other forms of abuse) a victim of intense childhood bullying. It feels like the two situations are closely connected in her mind when her focus seamlessly transitions from one to the other. 📺 I don't think that tremor in her voice is put on.
Based on her writings, I get the feeling that over the years, EA has developed a very black-and-white view of two monolithic groups of people. There's (an idealized vision of) her “real audience”, well-dressed, well-read, kind-hearted, and Asylum-savvy, who she fully trusts to “get it” – and buy it, and love it, unquestioningly, whatever “it” may be at any given time – because that is the true measure of love and loyalty. These are the people she makes art and merch for, the people she writes heart-emoji-filled newsletters to, and desperately longs to see in person again.
And then there's the lynch mob, those who really don't “get it”: the trolls, the faceless creeps, the basement-dwelling mouthbreathers, the ones who stalk her every move obsessively, waiting for any chance to spam her with vicious abuse and slander and obscenities. The latter only exist online (they are manifested into arbitrary existence by the internet itself, not by anything EA said or did), and there is zero overlap between the two sets of people. That seems to be the official narrative.
The "public eye" isn't an [enviable] place to be, and the closer I've come to it, the more horrified I've been. Because, for starters, who is "the public?" Is "the public" my audience? Hell no. My audience is special. They are not the general public. If they were the general public I would be a lot wealthier. The "public eye" means getting stalked, harassed, viscously judged, and put in danger. If I do things in the future that gain notoriety, I will do them in spite of fame, not because of it. I am out for world domination, but not fame. (Interview for The Moaning Times, 2014 📝)In real life (well, mostly online, but I mean: on this shared plane of existence), things play out slightly differently. The Venn diagram of “true blue fans” and “people who criticize EA" and "people who know way too much about EA” is a circle. The call is 100% coming from inside the Asylum, and I think EA rationally knows that. But here's the thing: no matter how many shows and meet-and-greets you've dressed up for, how many loving and supportive comments you've left, or how many family heirlooms you once pawned to purchase a copy of the not-for-sale 2003 DJ pressing of Enchant... the instant EA feels attacked, everyone is a saboteur and a bully until proven otherwise, and suspected treason is dealt with on the spot. One strike, you're out. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her threshold for bullying seems to be “any remotely thoughtless opinion from any stranger on the internet”.
It makes for outstanding human-interest entertainment... but it also sounds an awful lot like the unhealthy patterns of a person suffering from all sorts of PTSD. 🔍 So, please bear that in mind as you read through this write-up. It's easy to make EA out to be the sole villain, a paranoid and delusional drama queen, based on her extreme reactions to things that often “weren't that bad”. Anything can, in fact, be “that bad” when you're thrown back into the very worst moments of your existence every time your brain decides that the situation is even remotely similar.
PTSD takes over your rational mind and actively distorts your perception of reality. That can be how a person ends up impulse-reacting to “a few people expressing an unfavorable opinion” as if the entire internet had just ganged up on them with knives. Which makes their audience feel unjustly accused, which makes them hostile, which gives the person actual good reason to feel attacked... and so the cycle of hurt continues.
You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy, and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you – It's not the way I wanna be I only hope that in the end You will see: It's the Opheliac in me... (“Opheliac”, 2006 🎵)And YES, it is extremely regrettable to have this as a trigger, when you're a public figure and you're bound to receive more negative feedback than the average citizen. “It's what she signed up for”, “it comes with the territory” and all that jazz. I really don't think EA was unaware of that fact when she decided to become a musician, share her personal life, and form an intense parasocial bond with her audience. But maybe she underestimated how hard it would be to process and recover from.
Just because you expect something unpleasant to happen, doesn't mean your psyche will be ready to handle it when it does – or that you'll pick the best and most effective strategy to deal with it.
A MADHOUSE UNDER MARTIAL LAW: MARCHING INTO THE FORUM WARS
There are two sides to every story... except for this one! (“If I Burn”, 2012 🎵)You may have noted the military imagery in EA's “Make a Fucking Choice” response post – “resign your post in the Asylum Army”! What do psychiatry and the military have in common? They're both institutions of top-down social control. 🔍 EA's mixed metaphor may be a bit clunky, but it did foreshadow the evolution of the Asylum – in terms of aesthetics and power dynamics – in the years that followed the FantineDormouse incident and the release of The Book.
EA's next big release after the Asylum book came in 2012. It was a new album, an outline of the soon-to-be Asylum musical, called Fight Like a Girl (FLAG for short). As the name suggests, the main mood was bellicose. Incidentally, in the interim years, EA's communication style generally became noticeably more combative, incendiary, and (within her own spaces) controlling.📝 You remember those quirky word filters on the forum, that would change “fan” to “muffin” and “bra” to “teacup holder”? They kind of took on a Nineteen-Eighty-Four-burlesque flavor when you realized that one filter automatically changed “Fischkopf” to “Liddell” - and that circumventing the rule to address her totally real last name would get you banned, as would any discussion of her family. (“Wikipedia, random internet sites and heresay are not credible sources.” - Mod reminder of forum rules, 2010.)
Also, you try sustaining a serious, grown-up conversation among concerned fans about how Emilie Autumn should “take ratsponsibility for her mistakes out of ratspect for her muffins”. Thus, the official Asylum forum kept a tight grip on overt criticism of EA's claims and actions.
The Emilie Autumn forum is a dystopian hell. Truth be told, when I decided to leave you could not do anything but gush about Emilie. Otherwise all of her extremist arse kissing fans will be down your throat, ripping you apart in seconds, if you so much as questioned her behaviour. So much for freedom of opinion, let alone the idea of creating a harmonious community for ‘outcasts’. Hahaha. (2014 🐀)The word filter thing really wasn't a big deal – I'm just pointing it out as one goofy expression of EA's need to control the narrative and rhetoric, which became especially noticeable in those post-book, pre-FLAG years. By that point, EA's fuse had been shortened by near on half a decade of non-stop touring / recording / writing / promoting / adjusting to the pressure and demands of an ever-growing fanbase, while also dealing with a horrorshow of personal turmoil and health issues behind the scenes. In other words: she was done taking any shit, in any form, or humoring anyone's ridiculous feedback regarding anything.
To be fair, it was never her forte to begin with. Will it come as a shock if I tell you that EA doesn't have the greatest track record for successful collaborative work? Let's do a quick-cut montage!
EA's very first corporate sponsor was her mother's “Enchant Clothing & Costume” online store 🔍; she went on to claim that her mother was dead. She sessioned for Billy Corgan, that went super well. 🎵 She liked Courtney Love for a minute, but that didn't work out because she felt that Courtney only valued her for her pee. 📝 (It probably didn't help that in early 2006, while EA was recording her post-break-up-tell-all album about Corgan, C-Love was recording her post-rehab-redemption album with Corgan. 🔍 Either way, EA didn't seem to like Courtney anymore after that. Courtney likes her, though! 📝) The one artist EA has ever approached for a duet (and by approached, I mean she recorded a demo and threw the CD on stage when he played Chicago in 2004) was, of all people, Morrissey. That never came to pass, thank mercy 🔍 – this fandom has suffered enough. In 2005, EA recorded some haunting vocals and violins for a potential collab with the frontman of Attrition. When, three years later, they were used on one track 🎵 of Attrition's All Mine Enemies Whisper, she alleged 📝 that the recordings had been obtained from her under the false pretense of a different project, then hideously altered to sound “out of tune”, and used without her permission. She enlisted her fans to boycott the album and the band, and threatened legal action. Meanwhile, on LiveJournal and Attrition's message boards, band associates were appalled: according to them, EA had been aware of the project's nature from the start... and had been completely unreachable, even through her label, during the months of its development. (Besides, Attrition is a semi-obscure English darkwave band from the 80s, whose micro-distributed albums don't even have their own Wikipedia pages... so I wonder what EA was hoping to get out of that theoretical lawsuit. These people own nothing but vintage gain pedals!) The song “Cold Hard Cash” 🎤 by Angelspit (who contributed a remix to one of her EPs in 2008) may or may not be an EA diss track. 🐀 Back when indie jewelry brand RockLove (which now has licensing deals with Disney, Marvel, and DC) was still someone's bedroom project, their first drop was an EA-inspired collection 🔍, which appears in many early Opheliac photoshoots. The partnership was terminated on bad terms, for unclear reasons; the RockLove owner shared in a statement that EA had “drunk the cool-aid” of Trisol Guy's shady business practices, and that the two of them had been spamming her with “crazed angry message[s]” for days.
Why am I talking about this? Because it was precisely one such ill-fated business partnership that triggered the Great Asylum Secession.
One fine day of spring 2010, the owner of vegan make-up brand Aromaleigh popped onto the Asylum forum to announce that they were cutting ties with EA, with damning receipts of copy-pasted emails (lost to time). Basically, the brand had been sponsoring her for half a decade, and while Aromaleigh had been actively promoting her music and tours, EA hadn't exactly been returning the favor. (Indeed, the extent of EA's sponcon seemed to have been a banner link to their website on her front page, and a single “random drunken endorsement” LiveJournal post that kind of reads like satire📝, from 2005.)
EA responded by banning the owner's account, deleting the thread, and posting this flippant statement a few days later:
Dearest Plague Rats, To be honest, I have no idea of what the hell happened with Aromaleigh, and I don't care to find out – the whole drama is a complete mystery to me, as I've been away for months touring and have not been in contact with anyone. All I know is that I've been promoting the company for ages and have not asked them for anything in years. (...) Please focus on more interesting things. I am. (“Save the Drama...” forum post, March 2010)Posts questioning her good faith in the conflict were deleted from the forum. Shortly thereafter, citing how prolific and labor-intensive the Asylum forum had grown, EA shut down all non-EA related subforums – which, among many other topics, included a pretty active thread about Aromaleigh products.
So one Plague Rat decided to create a separate, members-only forum 📝, where users could recreate some of the now-defunct off-topic threads... and also freely voice their critical opinions of EA's behavior without fear of backlash from mods or rabid stans. Thus, “The Reform” was born. (Reform [n]: amendment of what is defective, vicious, corrupt, or depraved.)
For a few weeks, the two-state solution seemed to work fine. And then word spread among forum mods and other diehard fans that there was this horrid other forum, where obsessive haters gathered to spew disgusting lies and vitriol about EA... and soon enough, it was bedlam in the Asylum.
Any explicit mention of the Reform was forbidden on the Asylum forum. Suspicion of participation in the Reform would get you banned. The party line was that The Reform was the enemy 🐀 – even though a number of people were active on both forums, because they liked freedom of expression almost as much as they liked EA. Double agents would lurk on the forum and report back with snark material; sycophants would infiltrate the Reform to identify traitors – much to the amusement of the “haters”, who mocked them and their ilk for “licking EA's pink sparkly boots”. There was no containing the seething, or the sass, among Asylum ranks.
Pretty soon, the insubordination spread to Tumblr. There was the “Ask the Reform” Q&A blog, where questioning fans could interact with “Rebel Rats”, get more details on past drama, and make up their own minds about the people EA called bullies.
And then, there were the “confession blogs”, which published anonymous submissions about EA, positive, negative or neutral, with little censorship. Finally, you didn't even have to pick a throw-away username on a private forum to voice your hottest / strangest / most controversial EA takes. Fans could vent, rant, lament, wonder, shitpost to their heart's content, anonymously. Obviously, given the context of frustration and censorship in the fandom, a lot of the first waves of confessions were EXTREMELY negative.
EA's acolyte Veronica managed to get the first one shut down. If memory serves, she misunderstood the confession blog format, and may have believed that all the posts on “Emilie Autumn Confessions” came from one or a small group of individuals. She was genuinely devastated, and wrote the blog admin to let them know that they were a terrible person who said terrible things. The admin was mortified, apologized profusely and deleted the blog of their own initiative. (Which goes to show that the concept did not come from cruel and malicious anti-fans, as detractors often claimed.)
But a new blog sprung up almost immediately, with a different mod team, and did not surrender. And much like in EA's own book, once the Plague Rats found out that they possessed the gift of speech... well, they really took to it.
Established in 2011 and passed on through generation after generation of mod teams to the present day, Wayward Victorian Confessions would turn out to be the longest-lived institution in the EA fandom. For over a decade now, through all the bleakest nights and dankest debacles of the Asylum, and despite its initial reputation as a troll den, WVC has acted as a kind of neutral ground and vox populi for the active fanbase and anti-fanbase. (The last nominally-active EA fansite to date, She Fights Like a Girl, is actually an offshoot of WVC: one of the old admins created it as a database to answer “frequently asked questions” about EA.)
Wayward Victorian Confessions has now outlived every other EA platform, official and unofficial. Were it not for the continued existence of the “troll den”, what little fan community survives in 2024 would be non-existent, plain and simple. To quote from late 20th century Canadian philosophy: isn't it ironic?
I feel like [WVC] is the only place I feel any of that old Asylum community kind of feeling I felt before EA got so focused on the book. It sucks that it’s so full of unhappiness, and I wish she hadn’t poisoned the sanctuary she claimed to have built. It’s just kind of fallen apart, like a crumbling building. (🐀 2016)
CONTINUED IN COMMENTS
2024.04.27 11:37 Zan-nusi Here is my translation of a text, I'm not sure if everything is correct (grammaticaly), something might not make sense because you don't have the context and pictures but I just want the grammar checked. It's also kinda long so don't bother with reading it all.
THIS OH WILL BE A REVOLUTION FOR SURE!
1
It's summer. We are going to Tábor! From the train Praha(Prague)-Tábor, in an hour and fourteen minutes, you see it clearly. You first pass by a big chain bridge across Jordán, then a railroad causeway and then you see it... The lake, the town, the church tower, the mountain of Tábor, the unconquerable fortress above the river Lužnice, where the poious Hussites have built their military camp in the expecting of the end of the world: fortifications, bastions, rocks,narrow streets... vats on squares, in which everyone handed over everything they had. Who does now know, what they were fighting for back then? For god, for better church, or more likely for some bread and a place to live? Who from the fighters, who the streets of Tábor are named after, was brave, and who was just a highwayman an a murderer?
And what was that one-eyed guy, a robber and a highwayman, who led the holy army and besides victory left just ruined land like? Hard rock underneath the town was surely quaking, when the Hussites' army started marching... bam, bam, bam... Military fortress later became a town and people digged deep dungeons into the rock, food storages and refuges to defend themselves against enemies and fire. But that was a long time ago. Tábor is now a small and calm town in south Czechia. In summer it feels like you are in Italy.
It's summer. From the window of a train it looks like we cuold jump straight into Jordán. Jordán is the oldest manmade water reservoir in central Europe. Before the construction started in 1492, Tábor people dammed up a valley of Tismenický stream. A mill and a brickyard ended up underwater. Recently, when Jordán was drained, 3 more that 300 years old wooden sluices were discovered.
2
Trainstation in Tábor is quite small and not interesting. Ravens in the tall trees in front of the trainstation form an unbelievable choir. If you're lucky, you can see them throwing nuts under the cars passing by or sliding on a frozen puddle. Swoosh... swoosh. In summer they care about nesting, so they have no time for fun. But they could tell you about the long-standing fight between ravens and locals. About the floods of complaint letters about raven squawking that the mayor gets or about how Tábor people used predators to disturb ravens' nesting. As you can see, they didn't succeed. People should learn from ravens how to live with others.
3
There are three ways leading to Old town: the most beautiful one is around Jordán and a botanical garden. If you are hot, you can jump into Jordán from wooden piers. You can: go for a walk, walk a dog, feed ducks and stare at the full moon on the waterfront. Everybody who needs to buy some groceries uses the middle way. There is also a big and important school called “zemědělka“ (agriculture school). Botanical garden in Tábor was founded thanks to this building. Go there and look how medicinal, textile, dyer plants and diferent tropical flowers in jars look like. Cool yourself down in an arboretum full of old and rare trees.
4
There is also another way leading up to the town, which is rarely used for walking. There was a commercial way to České Budějovice, once full of houses of esteemed citizens: there was a printing house, shops and a garage too... you can see two rats under the heavenly trees on one of the rusty old wrought door forging... Or are they little dogs? But if you don't have to go there, you can avoid Budějovická street: cars and dust rule here.
5
Crossroad on “Křižíkáč“ (Křižíkovo square), at the hole, at the grammar shool or also at Billa, that you can't avoid. There once was a town scale. One of the most important, noisiest and ugliest crossroads in Tábor. Here ends the New town and begins the Old town. Here people go to grammar school. All roads in Tábor lead to Křižíkovo square, named after a famous engineer and inventor, thanks to who electric trams and trains now ride in Czechia. First electrified railroad in Czechia led from Tábro to Bechyně.
6
To the main square in Tábor you go through Palackého street around Oskar Nedbal's theatre, which connects to Pražská street. Even though it's main Old town way, it's quite narrow, especialy if you have to go aroud the crowd waiting for the delicious ice cream in the Vláček café. Join it right away, it is worth it. You can also visit local antique shop or a book shop with café to buy a book. If you're from Tábor and you're in a rush, it's better to avoid Pražská street, because you'll always meet someone here. But you can go through it slowly, there is, as well as on the square, many old citizen houses with beautiful sgrafitos: Stárkův house, Kostnický house and a house of Albrecht the baker, in which is, if you look carefuly, walled up a small canon ball. A reminder of one endlessly long war, called Thirty years' war.
8
Tábor people have built the church of the Transfiguration of Jesus on the place of the first Hussites' wooden church the size of a barn. Its tall and slim tower rules the Žižkovo square. It was once home to a tower man, who was looking if some houses didn't catch on fire. In front of the church is a Piety overshadowed by two huge chestnut trees. They got the nicknames František(Francis) and Alžběta(Elisabeth) after the emperor František Josef and his wife Alžběta Bavorská, called Sisi. There is a comfortable shadow in summer.
There is a statue of knight Roland on the ancient fountain. He looks more like Glóin (a dwarf from Lord of the rings) and doesn't have anything in common with the history of Tábor: he resembles famous french hero. Citizens often placed statues of him at squares. He simbolized privilegies of the town, for example the right to stage markets. If you want to visit Tábor in the time of a market, you have to be there on Wednesday. In spring, right when it gets a bit warmer, in summer and early in autumn, the square is really alive: there are concerts, theatrical and dancing performances, festivals, people drink beer, lemonade, apple juice and also Tábor cider Johannes at a stand under the statue of Žižka. Who is curious, finds also: a clock machine, a wooden angel missing an arm, an old town hall,which is now Hussite muzeum, stone tables where people previously selled their goods or sgrafito dogs (I have no idea what these are).
9
Old town is a military fortress. In Middle ages, before taken over by Hussites, there was a town Hradiště. Peope moved here because of the gold in the river Lužnice and silver mined in Horky nearby. If you go around the Old town, you see the remains of the original fortifications and you realize, how hard it surely was to occupie that kind of town. Triple Hussites' walls were strong and you could see far to distance from their top. The river Lužnice flows around Tábor and protects it like a mythical snake. Ways at Parkány will lead you to the oldest church in Tábor: Saint Filip and Jakub(Philip and Jacob). From the lower end of former graveyard, today's park, dark stairs lead to a lonely but very beautyful place. Old jewish graveyard in Pakostovská garden was destroyed by Nazi army, which was staying in Tábor in war. Today there is just a memorial to dead ones, giant linden and silence. Jewes lived and worked in Tábor for centuries and now there are just empty spaces. Where there was a synagogue, is now a big parking lot.
10
From Filip and Jakub you can enter the town again through Bechyňská gate. Somewhere here was original Hradiště, from which is left only strong Kolokotská tower. Walls will lead you on hidden stairs behind the vila Libuše in a forest park called Sady. Notice, how ingeniousy were guarding bastions built into the walls. In more calm centuries people turned them into houses. There is even a school in one of them. You can also get to Sady by tortuous streets, in which you can easily get lost. Some are so narrow you can barely get through. You can read about history of each house and courtyard of Old town in the book Old houses and families of Tábor. You'll learn not only who was the owner of the house, but also what were neighbours arguing about, who owed which person what, why were houses rebuilt and how did the complicated town form.
12
When you first enter the Mikuláše z Husy square, by many still called Klášterák, you can think that you're in a small italian town for a moment. That's surely because of the monastery of barefoot augustinians (today Hussite museum), which together with the church of the Birth of Saint Mary was designed by an italian architect living in Prague Antonio de Alfieri. Early-baroque front with giant statues of Saint Augustin and Saint Monika, stone fountain and three huge lindens, heavenly court of a monastery and maybye also the uneven stone pavement feels like a breeze of fresh air in the unconquerable forterss of Tábor. How else do you recatholize people, than by changing their country and making it prettier.
13
Sady were always a battlefield of boys and girls: Klokoťáci and Staroměšťáci (kids from Klokoty and Old town). Here they were doing big battles and experiencing adventures. Who lives in Tábor, knows those hilsides, crossed by Tismenický stream, very well after all. They are very steep and full of nice spots to hide. Some are in giant lindens, which will lead you to a meadow under the Klokoty monastery... Here is the time to decide, wether you want to lie down in the grass and observe sky and then jump down the meadow and go back to Tábor around a chapel across ancient stone bridge, saline trail, or go for a long walk: around a pilgrimage chapel of Klokoty, across former tankodrome down to the river Lužnice and then back to Tábor. You could have some good food and drink at Harachovka. People go there to eat stuffed dumplings and pork roast. From here you can take a beautiful walk along the river to Příběnice castle.
NO FIGHTS HERE, KIDS!
14
If you don't go to Kokoty from Sady, you'll go back to Pražská street, along walls via Velký šanc, which is under the Tržní square, where were orgaized animal markets. On šanc you'll see, how the original walls were thick and Tábor sea will finaly appear in front of you. Jordán water resvoir was once used as a resource of drinking water. Water was then pumped to a Water tower and flowed into 7 fountains in the Old town. Experts know, that cold, clean water is in most of the fountains, and when it's too hot, there's nothing better than a quick rinse form them. And other experts know that in the packets under the Jordán dam, which are provided with water from Jordán, you can buy delicious fish.
15
And so we're in water again. The best place to swim is of coure in Jordán. Sokol swimming place, to which you can get by a Tábor dam, is a peak of Tábor summer tourism. Sand, grass, hotdogs, ice cream, beach volleyball and swimming. For begginers in shallow water of a natural pool, and also for more skilled swimmers: to the other side. To the Knight (a place on one side of Jordán), where according to a legend, for more than 300 years a drowned fighter is going around, you can get on a boat from a rental at the swimming place.
Tábor is not a bg city: you can get everywhere by walking, Wether you live in Sojčák, Blanické Předměstí, in Čelkovice, Čekanice, Pražské Sídliště, New or Old town, you're close to nature, to a river and to Jordán and also to history. And maybye something here is different than in other cities: like Tábor's togetherness, formed during centuries in a tight hug of fortifications, was still there.
submitted by Zan-nusi to EnglishGrammar [link] [comments]
1
It's summer. We are going to Tábor! From the train Praha(Prague)-Tábor, in an hour and fourteen minutes, you see it clearly. You first pass by a big chain bridge across Jordán, then a railroad causeway and then you see it... The lake, the town, the church tower, the mountain of Tábor, the unconquerable fortress above the river Lužnice, where the poious Hussites have built their military camp in the expecting of the end of the world: fortifications, bastions, rocks,narrow streets... vats on squares, in which everyone handed over everything they had. Who does now know, what they were fighting for back then? For god, for better church, or more likely for some bread and a place to live? Who from the fighters, who the streets of Tábor are named after, was brave, and who was just a highwayman an a murderer?
And what was that one-eyed guy, a robber and a highwayman, who led the holy army and besides victory left just ruined land like? Hard rock underneath the town was surely quaking, when the Hussites' army started marching... bam, bam, bam... Military fortress later became a town and people digged deep dungeons into the rock, food storages and refuges to defend themselves against enemies and fire. But that was a long time ago. Tábor is now a small and calm town in south Czechia. In summer it feels like you are in Italy.
It's summer. From the window of a train it looks like we cuold jump straight into Jordán. Jordán is the oldest manmade water reservoir in central Europe. Before the construction started in 1492, Tábor people dammed up a valley of Tismenický stream. A mill and a brickyard ended up underwater. Recently, when Jordán was drained, 3 more that 300 years old wooden sluices were discovered.
2
Trainstation in Tábor is quite small and not interesting. Ravens in the tall trees in front of the trainstation form an unbelievable choir. If you're lucky, you can see them throwing nuts under the cars passing by or sliding on a frozen puddle. Swoosh... swoosh. In summer they care about nesting, so they have no time for fun. But they could tell you about the long-standing fight between ravens and locals. About the floods of complaint letters about raven squawking that the mayor gets or about how Tábor people used predators to disturb ravens' nesting. As you can see, they didn't succeed. People should learn from ravens how to live with others.
3
There are three ways leading to Old town: the most beautiful one is around Jordán and a botanical garden. If you are hot, you can jump into Jordán from wooden piers. You can: go for a walk, walk a dog, feed ducks and stare at the full moon on the waterfront. Everybody who needs to buy some groceries uses the middle way. There is also a big and important school called “zemědělka“ (agriculture school). Botanical garden in Tábor was founded thanks to this building. Go there and look how medicinal, textile, dyer plants and diferent tropical flowers in jars look like. Cool yourself down in an arboretum full of old and rare trees.
4
There is also another way leading up to the town, which is rarely used for walking. There was a commercial way to České Budějovice, once full of houses of esteemed citizens: there was a printing house, shops and a garage too... you can see two rats under the heavenly trees on one of the rusty old wrought door forging... Or are they little dogs? But if you don't have to go there, you can avoid Budějovická street: cars and dust rule here.
5
Crossroad on “Křižíkáč“ (Křižíkovo square), at the hole, at the grammar shool or also at Billa, that you can't avoid. There once was a town scale. One of the most important, noisiest and ugliest crossroads in Tábor. Here ends the New town and begins the Old town. Here people go to grammar school. All roads in Tábor lead to Křižíkovo square, named after a famous engineer and inventor, thanks to who electric trams and trains now ride in Czechia. First electrified railroad in Czechia led from Tábro to Bechyně.
6
To the main square in Tábor you go through Palackého street around Oskar Nedbal's theatre, which connects to Pražská street. Even though it's main Old town way, it's quite narrow, especialy if you have to go aroud the crowd waiting for the delicious ice cream in the Vláček café. Join it right away, it is worth it. You can also visit local antique shop or a book shop with café to buy a book. If you're from Tábor and you're in a rush, it's better to avoid Pražská street, because you'll always meet someone here. But you can go through it slowly, there is, as well as on the square, many old citizen houses with beautiful sgrafitos: Stárkův house, Kostnický house and a house of Albrecht the baker, in which is, if you look carefuly, walled up a small canon ball. A reminder of one endlessly long war, called Thirty years' war.
8
Tábor people have built the church of the Transfiguration of Jesus on the place of the first Hussites' wooden church the size of a barn. Its tall and slim tower rules the Žižkovo square. It was once home to a tower man, who was looking if some houses didn't catch on fire. In front of the church is a Piety overshadowed by two huge chestnut trees. They got the nicknames František(Francis) and Alžběta(Elisabeth) after the emperor František Josef and his wife Alžběta Bavorská, called Sisi. There is a comfortable shadow in summer.
There is a statue of knight Roland on the ancient fountain. He looks more like Glóin (a dwarf from Lord of the rings) and doesn't have anything in common with the history of Tábor: he resembles famous french hero. Citizens often placed statues of him at squares. He simbolized privilegies of the town, for example the right to stage markets. If you want to visit Tábor in the time of a market, you have to be there on Wednesday. In spring, right when it gets a bit warmer, in summer and early in autumn, the square is really alive: there are concerts, theatrical and dancing performances, festivals, people drink beer, lemonade, apple juice and also Tábor cider Johannes at a stand under the statue of Žižka. Who is curious, finds also: a clock machine, a wooden angel missing an arm, an old town hall,which is now Hussite muzeum, stone tables where people previously selled their goods or sgrafito dogs (I have no idea what these are).
9
Old town is a military fortress. In Middle ages, before taken over by Hussites, there was a town Hradiště. Peope moved here because of the gold in the river Lužnice and silver mined in Horky nearby. If you go around the Old town, you see the remains of the original fortifications and you realize, how hard it surely was to occupie that kind of town. Triple Hussites' walls were strong and you could see far to distance from their top. The river Lužnice flows around Tábor and protects it like a mythical snake. Ways at Parkány will lead you to the oldest church in Tábor: Saint Filip and Jakub(Philip and Jacob). From the lower end of former graveyard, today's park, dark stairs lead to a lonely but very beautyful place. Old jewish graveyard in Pakostovská garden was destroyed by Nazi army, which was staying in Tábor in war. Today there is just a memorial to dead ones, giant linden and silence. Jewes lived and worked in Tábor for centuries and now there are just empty spaces. Where there was a synagogue, is now a big parking lot.
10
From Filip and Jakub you can enter the town again through Bechyňská gate. Somewhere here was original Hradiště, from which is left only strong Kolokotská tower. Walls will lead you on hidden stairs behind the vila Libuše in a forest park called Sady. Notice, how ingeniousy were guarding bastions built into the walls. In more calm centuries people turned them into houses. There is even a school in one of them. You can also get to Sady by tortuous streets, in which you can easily get lost. Some are so narrow you can barely get through. You can read about history of each house and courtyard of Old town in the book Old houses and families of Tábor. You'll learn not only who was the owner of the house, but also what were neighbours arguing about, who owed which person what, why were houses rebuilt and how did the complicated town form.
12
When you first enter the Mikuláše z Husy square, by many still called Klášterák, you can think that you're in a small italian town for a moment. That's surely because of the monastery of barefoot augustinians (today Hussite museum), which together with the church of the Birth of Saint Mary was designed by an italian architect living in Prague Antonio de Alfieri. Early-baroque front with giant statues of Saint Augustin and Saint Monika, stone fountain and three huge lindens, heavenly court of a monastery and maybye also the uneven stone pavement feels like a breeze of fresh air in the unconquerable forterss of Tábor. How else do you recatholize people, than by changing their country and making it prettier.
13
Sady were always a battlefield of boys and girls: Klokoťáci and Staroměšťáci (kids from Klokoty and Old town). Here they were doing big battles and experiencing adventures. Who lives in Tábor, knows those hilsides, crossed by Tismenický stream, very well after all. They are very steep and full of nice spots to hide. Some are in giant lindens, which will lead you to a meadow under the Klokoty monastery... Here is the time to decide, wether you want to lie down in the grass and observe sky and then jump down the meadow and go back to Tábor around a chapel across ancient stone bridge, saline trail, or go for a long walk: around a pilgrimage chapel of Klokoty, across former tankodrome down to the river Lužnice and then back to Tábor. You could have some good food and drink at Harachovka. People go there to eat stuffed dumplings and pork roast. From here you can take a beautiful walk along the river to Příběnice castle.
NO FIGHTS HERE, KIDS!
14
If you don't go to Kokoty from Sady, you'll go back to Pražská street, along walls via Velký šanc, which is under the Tržní square, where were orgaized animal markets. On šanc you'll see, how the original walls were thick and Tábor sea will finaly appear in front of you. Jordán water resvoir was once used as a resource of drinking water. Water was then pumped to a Water tower and flowed into 7 fountains in the Old town. Experts know, that cold, clean water is in most of the fountains, and when it's too hot, there's nothing better than a quick rinse form them. And other experts know that in the packets under the Jordán dam, which are provided with water from Jordán, you can buy delicious fish.
15
And so we're in water again. The best place to swim is of coure in Jordán. Sokol swimming place, to which you can get by a Tábor dam, is a peak of Tábor summer tourism. Sand, grass, hotdogs, ice cream, beach volleyball and swimming. For begginers in shallow water of a natural pool, and also for more skilled swimmers: to the other side. To the Knight (a place on one side of Jordán), where according to a legend, for more than 300 years a drowned fighter is going around, you can get on a boat from a rental at the swimming place.
Tábor is not a bg city: you can get everywhere by walking, Wether you live in Sojčák, Blanické Předměstí, in Čelkovice, Čekanice, Pražské Sídliště, New or Old town, you're close to nature, to a river and to Jordán and also to history. And maybye something here is different than in other cities: like Tábor's togetherness, formed during centuries in a tight hug of fortifications, was still there.
2024.04.26 09:56 abracadabragraficos LETTERS
 | Some diferent types of letters drawing by me for diferent peoples. submitted by abracadabragraficos to u/abracadabragraficos [link] [comments] |
2024.04.23 19:50 Worth-Fox-2351 Raheem Devaughn - Love Behind The Melody 💿 (Rel: Jan 15, 2008)
 | submitted by Worth-Fox-2351 to rnbanniversary [link] [comments] |
2024.04.22 00:12 TronChucker111 DEVELOPER RUMOR: Heatblur may be developing an F-4E Phantom II for DCS World
 | I know what you're thinking. "but TronChucker, haven't you heard Belsimtek is developing the F-4?" Hear me out: Be warned, what I have discovered has rocked me to my core and you may find it troubling. Viewer discretion is advised ______________________________________________________________________________________ submitted by TronChucker111 to floggit [link] [comments] Heatblur has dropped a series of hints that seem to indicate a disproportionate focus on the F-4. In their discord server, there are several custom emojis, all of which represent an official module in DCS world. All, that is, except 1: https://preview.redd.it/qaj338vwgwvc1.png?width=213&format=png&auto=webp&s=6bb85df673e6ea265bd9fd62259df7c710cae807 The profile of the airplane in question looks a lot like and F-4 to me. Why would Heatblur add a custom emoji to a module that hasn't even been released yet in game? And why hasn't such an emoji been added in other discord servers? This is strike one. Second: in May 2023, a user on Heatblur's discord made the following comment: https://preview.redd.it/22715grygwvc1.png?width=402&format=png&auto=webp&s=25b0dbde916415f8c082b5bedaf8c5530636a216 Who is Cobra847? And what are they talking about here? Do they have something to do with the phantom? Are they even a real cobra? Are they affiliated with any group that sponsors, supports or condones cobras, a snake ? If so, are they even licensed to handle such reptiles? This is strike 2. I did a little extra digging on Cobra: https://preview.redd.it/22sumkixhwvc1.png?width=202&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b870218bf173266d1c5f5ee5db1d4c46f47cf43 Cobra has sent 1411 messages on the Heatblur Discord. This would seem to imply that they are very clued in to the Heatblur community and possibly has some connection to the company itself. I reached out to Cobra for comment, but got no response. This is strike 3, and the final nail in the Heatlbur coffin https://preview.redd.it/cuyo4kfeiwvc1.png?width=295&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed9be4832ab0df20eb3e75c3c6130715f43d99a1 ______________________________________________________________________________________ I have reason to believe BelSimTek stopped developing the F-4E several weeks ago at least. This is supposedly the last time Belsimtek mentioned the F-4E on one of their social media pages: https://preview.redd.it/cgi5ieh9jwvc1.png?width=690&format=png&auto=webp&s=4af7754001bf6d70bfb5e5c969369324152d1cf3 My sources indicate that this post from Belsimtek is at least 3 months old. Unfortunately we have no way of knowing when this was actually posted. But the fact that they mention that they're working on the F/A-18C would indicate that it is from 2023 at the latest. Why have they been radio silent ever since? They haven't posted anything on youtube, made any posts on facebook or myspace in months. It stands to reason that their F-4E has run into issues. Perhaps Eagle Dynamics is holding the CEO of Belsimtek hostage in their basement with Razbam CEO Rodney Zabmoni as part of their evil greed campaign. Time will tell ______________________________________________________________________________________ Conclusion https://preview.redd.it/ezkvgdlnpwvc1.png?width=1348&format=png&auto=webp&s=bb4ed83175861a2ef0076b70783a0bb9824e9c03 The evidence is a little murky, but my gut tells me that perhaps there have been some changes in the F-4E situation for DCS World. I demand that Belsimtek and Heatblur respond to my emails, messages on facebook, grindr DM's and handwritten letters soaked in perfume. I will stop at nothing to get to the truth. There are far too many coincidences here for me to rest. Keep your eyes open for more news and contact me if you see anything of interest. Together we will expose DCS and its modules |
2024.04.19 19:46 Frederick_999 True Story : 30 Years Love Scam
Hi everybody, i have a story about my late dad who got involved in a lengthy, unbelievable & ridiculous love story 🤯
Objective 1: Looking for a platform where i can share this as a drama series, telefilm or Netflix documentary 😆
Objective 2 : Make profit $$ out of objective 1 because we think we deserve a compensation for all this traumatising & exhausting experience. 🤑😅🤣
Objective 3 : As a lesson for everyone who are blinded by love & not to trust anyone who simply uses the word “I LOVE YOU” to manipulate someone for money or dealing with whatever mental issues they are facing.
Objective 4 : This is the main objective; it would be GREAT for us to FIND/LOCATE who is the real person behind the scene (her initial is LR) who has been playing with my dad’s heart for 30 years. LR was declared “dead” on September 2022 by her “closest aunt”. We believe she is still alive, playing, scamming & manipulating other men out there.
Interesting facts : - Upon LR’s death, my dad’s health has deteriorated & he passed away 2 months after.
Thank you for reading this. God bless 🙏🏼
submitted by Frederick_999 to Bolehland [link] [comments]
Objective 1: Looking for a platform where i can share this as a drama series, telefilm or Netflix documentary 😆
Objective 2 : Make profit $$ out of objective 1 because we think we deserve a compensation for all this traumatising & exhausting experience. 🤑😅🤣
Objective 3 : As a lesson for everyone who are blinded by love & not to trust anyone who simply uses the word “I LOVE YOU” to manipulate someone for money or dealing with whatever mental issues they are facing.
Objective 4 : This is the main objective; it would be GREAT for us to FIND/LOCATE who is the real person behind the scene (her initial is LR) who has been playing with my dad’s heart for 30 years. LR was declared “dead” on September 2022 by her “closest aunt”. We believe she is still alive, playing, scamming & manipulating other men out there.
Interesting facts : - Upon LR’s death, my dad’s health has deteriorated & he passed away 2 months after.
- We went thru his diaries & belongings. We found 2 faded photos of LR in my dad’s safekeeping. Also letters “written by LR”. All these proof would be cool to be featured on objective 1.
- Throughout 1992-2022, there was NO ADDITIONAL PHOTOS received by my dad although technologies would be the only medium for LDR couples to rely on (come on, we had Myspace, Friendster, Facebook, Whatsapp, Telegram, Instagram- you name it!) Reason being : “LR doesnt like technologies” ( but claimed to be an engineer working in Japan & my poor dad actually BELIEVED that!) 😡😆
- Dad said LR will only call him when she is free & when her phone is on roaming. Yes, no video calls or Facetime, only NORMAL calls. Yes, she has been using local DiGi & UMobile numbers and YES she has been changing numbers SO MANY FREAKING TIME.
Thank you for reading this. God bless 🙏🏼
2024.04.17 02:16 Royaltofu How to Respond? Do people assume all vinyl stickers is waterproof?
It's my first time selling vinyl stickers this year. I had a few reviews earlier from one buyer and got a little confused. It's an overall very positive nonetheless and will take her feedback seriously and add more details to my description(for example add not waterproof, great for laptops, notebooks, etc). She said they were thin and not waterproof. I was using JandJpackaging and will switch to a diferent one now. Is JandJ packaging not true vinyl? I'm not sure what she meant by porous? I do understand that all vinyl is water-resistant but the ink is not depending on the ink/printer. I'm only using vinyl with no lamination. I often see sellers state in their descriptions if their stickers are waterproof/laminated so I assumed just typing it's a vinyl sticker would suffice, but I didn't know what is common knowledge for others. In my current description all it says really is:
https://preview.redd.it/gskzj5o7nxuc1.png?width=978&format=png&auto=webp&s=44569e0508eae76f3b7d5c821ae0d3dda8d9708f
https://preview.redd.it/cfx3k5o7nxuc1.png?width=963&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d94b9f5d1be312d0a448748643a06908ff36924
submitted by Royaltofu to EtsySellers [link] [comments]
- xxxx inch die-cut glossy vinyl sticker
- Item(s) will be shipped in letter sized envelope with cellophane wrapping and cardstock to ensure its safety.
- Paper items are no tracking by default. You are able to upgrade the shipping to rigid mailer with full tracking number with an additional fee during check-out!
- Please note that colors may differ between your screen and the final product!
- Artwork by xxxmexxx
- Thanks for dropping by! If you have any issues with your order or questions please don't hesitate to send message
https://preview.redd.it/gskzj5o7nxuc1.png?width=978&format=png&auto=webp&s=44569e0508eae76f3b7d5c821ae0d3dda8d9708f
https://preview.redd.it/cfx3k5o7nxuc1.png?width=963&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d94b9f5d1be312d0a448748643a06908ff36924
2024.04.16 21:38 Shellglock Do You Want Your Ex to Date a Fireman, a Ninja or a Mumbly Drip? By Dan Harmon
April 8th, 2008
Which are you supposed to "want" more: someone you dated ending up with a guy you think is more awesome than you, or less awesome?
In a vacuum, I would think less awesome, because then you could be like, "she traded down." But that means she has bad taste. Or that she, herself, sucks. And you loved her. And that’s bad.
I guess the ideal, and the thing that happens to me more often than not, is my ex ends up with someone that is a similar physical and/or personality type to me. And it’s weird that THAT’S better. There doesn’t seem to be any logic to these feelings. But I feel most comfortable, I think, breaking up with a girl, and then hearing that she’s dating Dan Harmon 2, or, as I call him, Ewan McGregor. Just kidding. Fred Belford. Okay Patton Oswalt.
Maybe the thing that’s comfortable about that is the continued security that you DID know this partner intimately. You were "with" them, and that’s them over there now that they’re not with you, and you’re you, and she loved you, and you loved her, and it didn’t work, and she’s doing something you understand. She wasn’t crazy and she wasn’t hiding or suppressing some vital piece of information about what it is that they really wanted.
And I guess for that reason, it’s ALSO comfortable to break up with someone, and then hear that they’re with douchey/fratty/banker guy, because first of all, those guys are always good for an honest handshake and a "right on, bra, nice to meet my girl’s ex," and second of all, you can just write them off as generic or even idealized men, and your girl ending up with one doesn’t surprise you. It doesn’t catch you off guard and raise all kinds of alarming and embarrassing questions. It just means she finished eating a plate of spaghetti and now she’s having a corn dog, or vice versa. It is what it is.
I have had exes that have ended up with my friends, I have had exes that have ended up with my enemies, I have had exes that have ended up with people I have to look at on TV, I have had exes that have turned out to be lesbians, I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think, "oh, jesus, she really peaked with me," and I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think, "yikes, she was really slumming it with me."
I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think:
"poor thing, I bet she misses laughing out loud.", "hey, I think that guy’s cooler than me", "awww, she finally found the right guy", "she deserves better", "I should have treated her better", etc.
I even had an ex that killed herself, which is like breaking up with someone and then hearing that they’re sleeping with God.
And all of these things, in their own way, seemed natural. Accessible. Something I could file.
I’ve only had one girlfriend who broke up with me, and then started dating a guy that made me feel:
"?"
I think that is the most difficult scenario because it’s called being insecure. Feeling vulnerable, confused, unsure, about yourself.
This girl is someone you shared your mind and body with. Their choices, previous and subsequent, in some way, relate to you. They don’t have to make predictable Sesame Street sense, but there should be some kind of cosmic internal logic. Your girlfriend shouldn’t tip her hat to you, turn to walk away, then become a pterodactyl or an ear of corn. In a puff of smoke.
And if she does, what does it mean about me, I’m the important one here. The thing I fear it means about me is that I’m capable of falling in love with anyone
It’s a horrible phrase to include in your blog, but it’s time to say it. "Maybe I’ve never been in love before." It’s either that or I’ve been in love 800 times and it’s about as hard to come and go as styrofoam peanuts.
"Hard to come and go?" Making up a new language. I’ve been awake for 2 days straight- chasing a sitcom deadline, using performance enhancing drugs. The myspace letters are actually waving like they’re underwater, no exaggeration, that’s how long my eyes have been open.
I need to sleep and I need to get up in time to finish the latest draft of this thing. There’s residual speed (adderall) left in my brain from this push, and it’s a weird kind of tired: if I lay down, I’ll be out like a light, but as long as I think "stay awake," I can.
I wonder how long this blog entry is going to be. I wonder how long I could make one. This job has been going on forever, I’ve never worked on anything day after day after day like this. It’s almost done. I think it’s pretty good but I’m beyond delirious right now.
My head is bobbing and my focus is going in and out but I’m afraid to leave the keyboard. I’ve been here for days, weeks, and that’s as far as my memory goes back so it seems like I’ve always been here.
It was a mistake to stay up this long. I should have gone to bed at 7pm and slept til midnight or 3am, so I could make a final push and deliver by 6pm. Then again, what am I talking about, I could sleep for 12 hours and I’d still have six to wrap it up. But I want to take longer than that. I want to sand her little arcs and polish her little act seams.
There are weird locii in scripts that receive disproportionate treatment and it has nothing to do with how important they are, and most often, those locii just become threadbare spots, and finally holes, before whatever they’re on disappears, BUT also, sometimes, on the journey from fabric to hole, there’s a unique shape....I ...hole on..
Okay, I’m definitely starting to not know what I’m doing at all.
What was I just talking about? I’m really going out of my mind. I swear to god I don’t know where I was going with that. I want to share a few lines from my sitcom script that will probably never be in the final version. Let’s see here.
EMMA Your father was a mentor to me. That’s why I called him to get his advice on how to deal with you. He had an interesting suggestion. CJ You’re going to get drunk and throw my birthday cake at my mother?
That’s one of my favorites because when I turned 12, my Dad got drunk and threw my birthday cake at my mother. I remember not even knowing they were fighting. I remember the family therapist saying I was in a "bubble." Maybe that’s why I shut down with the ladies.
I’m going to die pretty soon. I don’t want to live much longer than 45. I don’t want to have children anymore, I think I’m just going to try to get something on the air that will generate some real revenue and hopefully retire by 40 and kill myself around 45. Not ritualistically, if I turn 45 and everything’s great physically, like I don’t have any chronic pain or bags or tubes or anything, I’ll go as long as I can go.
Who knows, maybe that’s what everybody thinks in their heads and then one day you get a colostomy bag and you think, "didn’t I promise myself I would commit suicide before this happened?" And then you think, "well, Jesus, what the fuck’s worse than plunging into infinite darkness, certainly not shitting in a bag." I don’t know how I would do it.
I should change my default photo if I’m going to talk like that. I wouldn’t use a gun anyway. But how the fuck do you kill yourself? You know what would be easy enough to TEST a little, would be hanging. Not hanging like gallows snap your neck, but like prison cell shoelace. I wonder if that hurts. You could easily sort of half hang yourself with some means of bailing out to see if it was going to work for you. I’m assuming. I wonder if BEFORE it sucks, you just black out. That might be the ticket right there. You just put yourself in a sleeper hold with a belt and there’s barely anything for your friends to clean up.
What was I doing. Oh favorite lines from my FOX sitcom with the most complicated premise in the history of television. I’m not judging it. I didn’t say convoluted, I said complicated.
That was one of the big lessons I had to learn from the sitcom world. My first draft made use of this therapist character and various other devices to gradually walk the audience into the deep end, one complication at a time. And, essentially, the studio’s note was, "drop the audience into the deep end on page four." Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. I’m not being sarcastic. If your show is successful, only 20 percent of your audience is ever going to SEE your pilot, and only eight percent of them are going to see the whole thing. I’m making these numbers up, but for all we know, they’re smaller. I’ve tuned into Frasier for 8 minutes a dozen times throughout my life, and never once did I start shrieking at the TV and saying "WHY DOES HE LIVE WITH HIS DAD?!"
It’s a sitcom. My sitcom is "about" this or that and is set up in this or that way, but what it IS is a bunch of cops in a house. Which can either be well written or poorly written. And I don’t know which I’m doing on this next draft. But I think the first draft was there. And then they threw that in the garbage. Which means that this next one will be better or worse or the same, and why am I pretending to work in an office.
I guess first I should go through the first draft that went to the studio, because they threw that in the garbage and asked me to write a completely different one, which means that if I share some material from it, I won’t be spoiling anything you’ll see on TV when my show gets shot and aired by FOX which is 100% guaranteed to happen because 1) God loves joy 2) it never doesn’t happen 3) the studio’s response to the first draft was "write a completely different show." which is always a good sign where I come from.
Can’t fit it no more...starting to sleep with eyes open. Can’t re-read ...
submitted by Shellglock to u/Shellglock [link] [comments]
Which are you supposed to "want" more: someone you dated ending up with a guy you think is more awesome than you, or less awesome?
In a vacuum, I would think less awesome, because then you could be like, "she traded down." But that means she has bad taste. Or that she, herself, sucks. And you loved her. And that’s bad.
I guess the ideal, and the thing that happens to me more often than not, is my ex ends up with someone that is a similar physical and/or personality type to me. And it’s weird that THAT’S better. There doesn’t seem to be any logic to these feelings. But I feel most comfortable, I think, breaking up with a girl, and then hearing that she’s dating Dan Harmon 2, or, as I call him, Ewan McGregor. Just kidding. Fred Belford. Okay Patton Oswalt.
Maybe the thing that’s comfortable about that is the continued security that you DID know this partner intimately. You were "with" them, and that’s them over there now that they’re not with you, and you’re you, and she loved you, and you loved her, and it didn’t work, and she’s doing something you understand. She wasn’t crazy and she wasn’t hiding or suppressing some vital piece of information about what it is that they really wanted.
And I guess for that reason, it’s ALSO comfortable to break up with someone, and then hear that they’re with douchey/fratty/banker guy, because first of all, those guys are always good for an honest handshake and a "right on, bra, nice to meet my girl’s ex," and second of all, you can just write them off as generic or even idealized men, and your girl ending up with one doesn’t surprise you. It doesn’t catch you off guard and raise all kinds of alarming and embarrassing questions. It just means she finished eating a plate of spaghetti and now she’s having a corn dog, or vice versa. It is what it is.
I have had exes that have ended up with my friends, I have had exes that have ended up with my enemies, I have had exes that have ended up with people I have to look at on TV, I have had exes that have turned out to be lesbians, I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think, "oh, jesus, she really peaked with me," and I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think, "yikes, she was really slumming it with me."
I have had exes that have ended up with guys that have made me think:
"poor thing, I bet she misses laughing out loud.", "hey, I think that guy’s cooler than me", "awww, she finally found the right guy", "she deserves better", "I should have treated her better", etc.
I even had an ex that killed herself, which is like breaking up with someone and then hearing that they’re sleeping with God.
And all of these things, in their own way, seemed natural. Accessible. Something I could file.
I’ve only had one girlfriend who broke up with me, and then started dating a guy that made me feel:
"?"
I think that is the most difficult scenario because it’s called being insecure. Feeling vulnerable, confused, unsure, about yourself.
This girl is someone you shared your mind and body with. Their choices, previous and subsequent, in some way, relate to you. They don’t have to make predictable Sesame Street sense, but there should be some kind of cosmic internal logic. Your girlfriend shouldn’t tip her hat to you, turn to walk away, then become a pterodactyl or an ear of corn. In a puff of smoke.
And if she does, what does it mean about me, I’m the important one here. The thing I fear it means about me is that I’m capable of falling in love with anyone
It’s a horrible phrase to include in your blog, but it’s time to say it. "Maybe I’ve never been in love before." It’s either that or I’ve been in love 800 times and it’s about as hard to come and go as styrofoam peanuts.
"Hard to come and go?" Making up a new language. I’ve been awake for 2 days straight- chasing a sitcom deadline, using performance enhancing drugs. The myspace letters are actually waving like they’re underwater, no exaggeration, that’s how long my eyes have been open.
I need to sleep and I need to get up in time to finish the latest draft of this thing. There’s residual speed (adderall) left in my brain from this push, and it’s a weird kind of tired: if I lay down, I’ll be out like a light, but as long as I think "stay awake," I can.
I wonder how long this blog entry is going to be. I wonder how long I could make one. This job has been going on forever, I’ve never worked on anything day after day after day like this. It’s almost done. I think it’s pretty good but I’m beyond delirious right now.
My head is bobbing and my focus is going in and out but I’m afraid to leave the keyboard. I’ve been here for days, weeks, and that’s as far as my memory goes back so it seems like I’ve always been here.
It was a mistake to stay up this long. I should have gone to bed at 7pm and slept til midnight or 3am, so I could make a final push and deliver by 6pm. Then again, what am I talking about, I could sleep for 12 hours and I’d still have six to wrap it up. But I want to take longer than that. I want to sand her little arcs and polish her little act seams.
There are weird locii in scripts that receive disproportionate treatment and it has nothing to do with how important they are, and most often, those locii just become threadbare spots, and finally holes, before whatever they’re on disappears, BUT also, sometimes, on the journey from fabric to hole, there’s a unique shape....I ...hole on..
Okay, I’m definitely starting to not know what I’m doing at all.
What was I just talking about? I’m really going out of my mind. I swear to god I don’t know where I was going with that. I want to share a few lines from my sitcom script that will probably never be in the final version. Let’s see here.
EMMA Your father was a mentor to me. That’s why I called him to get his advice on how to deal with you. He had an interesting suggestion. CJ You’re going to get drunk and throw my birthday cake at my mother?
That’s one of my favorites because when I turned 12, my Dad got drunk and threw my birthday cake at my mother. I remember not even knowing they were fighting. I remember the family therapist saying I was in a "bubble." Maybe that’s why I shut down with the ladies.
I’m going to die pretty soon. I don’t want to live much longer than 45. I don’t want to have children anymore, I think I’m just going to try to get something on the air that will generate some real revenue and hopefully retire by 40 and kill myself around 45. Not ritualistically, if I turn 45 and everything’s great physically, like I don’t have any chronic pain or bags or tubes or anything, I’ll go as long as I can go.
Who knows, maybe that’s what everybody thinks in their heads and then one day you get a colostomy bag and you think, "didn’t I promise myself I would commit suicide before this happened?" And then you think, "well, Jesus, what the fuck’s worse than plunging into infinite darkness, certainly not shitting in a bag." I don’t know how I would do it.
I should change my default photo if I’m going to talk like that. I wouldn’t use a gun anyway. But how the fuck do you kill yourself? You know what would be easy enough to TEST a little, would be hanging. Not hanging like gallows snap your neck, but like prison cell shoelace. I wonder if that hurts. You could easily sort of half hang yourself with some means of bailing out to see if it was going to work for you. I’m assuming. I wonder if BEFORE it sucks, you just black out. That might be the ticket right there. You just put yourself in a sleeper hold with a belt and there’s barely anything for your friends to clean up.
What was I doing. Oh favorite lines from my FOX sitcom with the most complicated premise in the history of television. I’m not judging it. I didn’t say convoluted, I said complicated.
That was one of the big lessons I had to learn from the sitcom world. My first draft made use of this therapist character and various other devices to gradually walk the audience into the deep end, one complication at a time. And, essentially, the studio’s note was, "drop the audience into the deep end on page four." Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense. I’m not being sarcastic. If your show is successful, only 20 percent of your audience is ever going to SEE your pilot, and only eight percent of them are going to see the whole thing. I’m making these numbers up, but for all we know, they’re smaller. I’ve tuned into Frasier for 8 minutes a dozen times throughout my life, and never once did I start shrieking at the TV and saying "WHY DOES HE LIVE WITH HIS DAD?!"
It’s a sitcom. My sitcom is "about" this or that and is set up in this or that way, but what it IS is a bunch of cops in a house. Which can either be well written or poorly written. And I don’t know which I’m doing on this next draft. But I think the first draft was there. And then they threw that in the garbage. Which means that this next one will be better or worse or the same, and why am I pretending to work in an office.
I guess first I should go through the first draft that went to the studio, because they threw that in the garbage and asked me to write a completely different one, which means that if I share some material from it, I won’t be spoiling anything you’ll see on TV when my show gets shot and aired by FOX which is 100% guaranteed to happen because 1) God loves joy 2) it never doesn’t happen 3) the studio’s response to the first draft was "write a completely different show." which is always a good sign where I come from.
Can’t fit it no more...starting to sleep with eyes open. Can’t re-read ...
2024.03.30 02:52 Bird_J “I am one of them”
It was 2009 I was in 8th grade the “popular” kids were excited for next years football basketball ect most other kids were just excited for parties while the outcast were not excited at all. I was in that group of kids my grandpa was a weird guy and almost all of the kids in my schools parents and grandparents know him as “crazy Billy” and unfortunately my parents before they died decided to name me after my grandpa Billy. So everyone in school makes fun of me because my grandpa had very weird schizophrenic episodes he was diagnosed after my grandma his wife died. Whether it was his friend as he would call a “gleiburg” he described “it” as a 10ft tall creature long arms and legs skinny skinny torso the rib cage pops out and no hair and white glowing eyes. My grandpa would say they are nice creatures and only want to make friends. When he would tell people this they would immediately stay away from him. For example on thanksgiving he had an episode and ran to the door and opened it and said “guys a gleiburg is outside!” And he started shaking and he fell down on his knees and started shaking but he had a huge smile on his face and my aunt jannet walked outside to see nothing. This was the type of stuff he did on the streets too to random people. All though it was just because of his illness nobody seemed to understand him at all. We one day found him in his basement with letters all over the walls saying “I rejected him” they were all over the walls while he was on a rope dead. It’s hard thinking about it as I am named after him. Now at school every kid knows the story because it was all over the news. Now every kid in school calls me crazy Billy and doesn’t even give me a chance to be friends with them!. So I have been a loner all of my life. One day after a long day of school around march 18th 2009 I was walking home and I saw something between the trees it was tall black and that’s all I saw then I look deeply and nothing was there. I got scared because I knew it was something I just know it wasn’t my mind. But I brushed it off and walked home my aunt jannet opens the door she gives me a hug and tells me she’s had a long day at work so she’s going to sleep and be in her room. She told me uncle Rob was at work still so I have the whole living room to myself. She knows I don’t like my room because it was filled with a bunch of my grandpas weird drawings and stuff all over the place because I live in the basement. I sit down and watch the tv while drinking the tea and get curious. All thought parents have been gone my whole life I still wonder how they died. Nobody knows it was just one day after my 4th birthday they just disappeared while I was at daycare. I remeber that day clearly everyone sang happy birthday and I was having a great day until it was time for parents to go get the kids I watched as every kid told the teacher to look to see there parent and left I was at the school until 4:30 because my aunt came to get me and told me my parents are somewhere special. That’s the day my life changed. And when my grandpa started to get worse and worse. First his wife died they been together since they were 13 years old and she died of cancer. Then my dad because he was the only one that listened to his weird creature stories even though he knows he is damn scared of those creatures he talks about now he’s dead the only one who listened. He’s hurt and he started to get worse and worse with his episodes. So I am on my couch and decide to try and figure out what really happened to my parents so I decided to go on my laptop and search every article on my parents name and I found all other diferent cases until I find a article under the name of “Renee and Mario Rodriguez found brutally murdered in the woods” I click the article and read how some deer hunters found my parents dead body’s torn up and scratched all over the place. There was no photos thank god but just reading that made my cry. I get really stressed so I decide to sneak out of the house it’s 9:30 pm my uncle still isn’t home so it will be fine because if anything he can get me. I was still curious so I live in the same neighborhood as where my parents died the woods they were found in was a huge huge trail you can easily get lost in it’s called 28th street salt creek. I walk in there and it’s dark I have a flashlight and my phone. I walked super deep in I got lost. I was not that scared though because I knew if anything I will be fine I just knew deep down I would be fine. I walk more then here bushes move I pull my phone out and start recording because I didn’t just hear a bush I heard a slight scratchy voice say “want to be friends?” Then I see it the creature I saw. 10 ft skinny long arms and legs and it’s white glowing eyes I scream and run. The creature says “wait please I just want to be friends” I throw my flashlight at it and I run out of the woods and I thank god found my way home. My uncle is not home yet still for some reason. I walk inside and think and try and process what happened and what the hell that creature was. I think of it and oh my god my grandpa always talked about a 10ft tall creature so my grandpa wrote notes and never wanted anyone to see them the only people that saw them was the cops when they investigated everything. The notes were stored in a drawer and I decided to read them one goes by as the tittle “he’s going to get me” I read and it says “a gleiburg is a tall creature all it was is friends and will watch the person it wants to be friends with so it can get the courage to be friends with them, they are shy creatures and if they propose to you then they must “love” you but if you reject them and hurt there feelings they will turn into a night stalker and hunt you down as it’s anger will allow the creature to grow 4 arms using to run and grow sharp teeth and run on all 4 to kill. I shut the drawer and start crying as I lock all my windows. I ended up falling asleep but woke up in the middle of the night because I felt something on me. I wake up and the creature was sitting on my bed said “I wont kill you I love you grandson” “I am one of them now”
submitted by Bird_J to CreepyPastas [link] [comments]
2024.03.25 02:02 Dominik528 Drake Bell's story...
Back when Buzzfeed released their article on John Kricfalusi and how he groomed two girls--one of them into being his live-in girlfriend for a number of years--I remember thinking that no post-MeToo story could haunt me more. Because I was obsessed with Ren & Stimpy for some time, even corresponding with the creator on MySpace (it was never anything creepy, possibly because my PFP wasn't of myself; according to blameitonjorge, John didn't write back to Robyn's letters until she sent a picture of herself).
Then, I get to ep. 3, and that same haunting feeling comes right back. I'd known for the past 6 years that Brian Peck was a registered sex offender (thanks to Shane Dawson, of all people!) but never any inkling that it could've been Drake Bell.
According to Robyn's now-deactivated Twitter account, she explained how John was able to isolate her from her busy parents, invite her over to his house where he eventually molested her at 16. In blameitonjorge's video, she brought up how John was friends with other pedophiles, who supported and normalized the relationship, calling her "John's little girlfriend."🤢 That story was what ran through my mind as Drake and his dad recounted theirs.
She also mentioned how Spumco was a run-down studio with a room where a computer was apparently used for porn, based on the leftover semen. Reminded me of what was also said in the doc.
What's more: for some reason, Investigation Discovery (or DirecTV) numbered episodes 3 and 4 the wrong way. So, we ended up watching the most shocking ep. as the last one!
submitted by Dominik528 to QuietOnSetDocumentary [link] [comments]
Then, I get to ep. 3, and that same haunting feeling comes right back. I'd known for the past 6 years that Brian Peck was a registered sex offender (thanks to Shane Dawson, of all people!) but never any inkling that it could've been Drake Bell.
According to Robyn's now-deactivated Twitter account, she explained how John was able to isolate her from her busy parents, invite her over to his house where he eventually molested her at 16. In blameitonjorge's video, she brought up how John was friends with other pedophiles, who supported and normalized the relationship, calling her "John's little girlfriend."🤢 That story was what ran through my mind as Drake and his dad recounted theirs.
She also mentioned how Spumco was a run-down studio with a room where a computer was apparently used for porn, based on the leftover semen. Reminded me of what was also said in the doc.
What's more: for some reason, Investigation Discovery (or DirecTV) numbered episodes 3 and 4 the wrong way. So, we ended up watching the most shocking ep. as the last one!
2024.03.20 23:47 6SinnersWelcome9 23 NB/F USA looking for friends 🧡 🪿
Hello! As stated above I'm a 23 year old Nonbinary female living in the United states, and im a certified silly goose! I'll keep it simple for now!
✨️🪿No minors or anyone under 20 please i am looking for people closer to my age and older to interact with! 🪿✨️
Feel free to ask about me, I want to start off slow through messaging on here, before moving onto physical letters and exchanging my personal address.
I am LGBTQ and neurodivergent friendly. I do struggle checking responses and replying BUT HEAR ME OUT I will definitely reply at some point, im a strong believer in if you make an equal effort I'll meet you in that way!
I'm looking for traditional penpals to send post cards as well as letters to. I love decorating letters! I'm also interested in art exchange, im a traditional artist rather than digital so I have a few diferent types of mediums I work with I can send over from simple pencil and paper work, to wood burnings! I'm super creative I love art and sharing cultures. I think it super important to understand the world around us and the people in it.
I have so much to say but don't want to over do it with my introduction post. I can't wait to meet new people! 🪿✨️ Be safe
submitted by 6SinnersWelcome9 to penpals [link] [comments]
✨️🪿No minors or anyone under 20 please i am looking for people closer to my age and older to interact with! 🪿✨️
Feel free to ask about me, I want to start off slow through messaging on here, before moving onto physical letters and exchanging my personal address.
I am LGBTQ and neurodivergent friendly. I do struggle checking responses and replying BUT HEAR ME OUT I will definitely reply at some point, im a strong believer in if you make an equal effort I'll meet you in that way!
I'm looking for traditional penpals to send post cards as well as letters to. I love decorating letters! I'm also interested in art exchange, im a traditional artist rather than digital so I have a few diferent types of mediums I work with I can send over from simple pencil and paper work, to wood burnings! I'm super creative I love art and sharing cultures. I think it super important to understand the world around us and the people in it.
I have so much to say but don't want to over do it with my introduction post. I can't wait to meet new people! 🪿✨️ Be safe
2024.03.11 09:49 trolldoll420 Mid 2000s. I paid for a Photobucket account last month to get these back.
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2024.03.08 15:08 williamfdowns3 The story behind my Taylor Swift signed guitar
 | Taylor Swift and I used to talk via MySpace back before her first album came out. I saw her featured on some CMT artist spotlight show and reached out to her and she responded. We talked back and forth for over a year until she got too big and popular to respond. submitted by williamfdowns3 to AutographPorn [link] [comments] At the 2006 CMA Music Fest, I waited in her line to meet her in person (there was one person in her line.) I got up there and told her my name and she responded with, “WILLIE!!!!” Then she turned to the girl with her and said “This is Willie, my MySpace friend from Texas!” She signed my guitar, and we posed as the lady with her took a picture of us which later showed up on Taylor’s website. I then took the guitar and got a bunch of other country artists to sign it including John Michael Montgomery, Aaron Tippon, Bill Anderson and more I can’t recall. At a different occasion I got Blake Shelton, Neal McCoy and George Jones to sign it. Then, after I got notice I was deploying to Iraq with the Army, I drove to Garth’s house when he lived in Oklahoma and waited outside his gate. He came out and signed my guitar and agreed to play my guitar to dedicate a song to the girl I was dating at the time since I was about to leave for Iraq. Super kind and down to earth person. He even commented on Taylor Swifts signature saying how he’s been listening to her on the radio and she’s very talented. Fast forward a little more, I’m sitting in my apartment looking at my guitar thinking of who else I could add. I was happy with most of the signature up to that point except one very large and bold signature across the top by an old country singer that I had no idea who he was but he was at the CMA music fest and asked me if I wanted him to sign my guitar. I felt bad so said sure and he made sure I wouldn’t forget him. I looked him up afterwards and he truly wasn’t in the same league as the others on the guitar. So, I had it set in my mind I needed to remove it. This was a very bad idea. But the idea was there and I had to do it. So I researched how to remove an autograph from a guitar and went with the suggestion to use rubbing alcohol. Two things happened here… I used too much and it accidentally went over Taylor’s autograph which was too close to the signature I was removing. So…sadly her autograph went with it. Gone forever. To make matters worse, the autograph I wanted to remove left behind an awful ghost image after it was gone. So while Taylor’s came off super clean and left no trace, the large no-name signature left a big dark spot on the face of the guitar where it had soaked into the enamel of the guitar. I was devastated and could never see the guitar in the same way. I wanted to love this treasured guitar but now ever time I looked at it, I saw this big ugly dark spot reminding me of the biggest mistake ever. I obviously should have just left the signature and added others. That said, I sold the guitar on Craigslist for $500. What a shame. And what I wouldn’t give to go back in time to undo what I did. Sadly, Garth has moved and Taylor is unreachable so getting another guitar signed by these two giants again is unlikely. I tried to find a photo of the guitar with the signatures but it appears to be lost with time. But here are a few photos of it with Taylor and Garth. Looking back, it’s incredible how far Taylor has come and I’m blessed I was able to know her at some point in her journey. The memories are worth more than any autograph could be. I remember calling the radio station before her debut album was released to request them to play “Tim McGraw” and the DJ responded with “Taylor who? I haven’t heard that name before but will keep an eye out for her if we get her music.” Well, that changed very quickly. She was always so kind and friendly with me and it always made me feel special when she knew me by name and reacted the way she did when she saw me each time. That’s not typical of an artist and being someone from East Texas…I wasn’t used to that. Haha. When I was at the 2006 CMA Music Fest after initially seeing her in the convention hall, while walking around downtown Nashville we had walked indoors and walked past an elevator and I didn’t see her initially but she got off the elevator and saw me and said “Hey Willie!” And tapped me on the shoulder as she passed me. Then later in 2008 I believe, we went to see her perform at Graham Central Station outside of Austin, Texas and their were maybe 200 people max in the room. Maybe not even that many. After the show, I went up to the stage to say hi as she was right off to the side talking to a few people. She saw me and before I could even say anything she went “AHHH!! WILLIE!!!! YOU CAME TO MY SHOW!!” Then turned to her people and said “This is Willie and he came all the way to come see me!” Then took a couple pictures with me including one of her giving the W sign for Willie lol. She was in a hurry to catch a flight to Vegas for another show so she left and then my friend said he didn’t get a picture so we ran around to the side of the building for them to get a photo before she left. After they took a photo, we were walking across the parking lot to my car. Then I hear a voice behind me, “Willie! Willie!” I turn around to see Taylor Swift hanging out of the back window of her car waving her arms at me. I went over to her and she thanked me again for coming to her show and gave me a signed concert poster. The poster was a prized possession of mine. I’ve made many mistakes in my life and that is another that haunts me. In 2020 during COVID, I lost my job over 6 months before I was to leave for 6 months training with the military except I didn’t know when I was actually leaving. This meant it was impossible for me to get a job because nobody would hire me. We had just moved into a larger home and had a newborn baby. It was the absolute worst time for me to lose my job and we were struggling to get by and pay the bills. I decided to sell my entire autograph collection including this signed poster, along with a few other early signed Taylor Swift photos and CD’s just so we can get by. It was devastating but you do what you have to do. Sold them pretty cheap too, sadly. The story is tragic in many ways but the story is one I hold on to as it’s a cherished memory and I love to share it. It’s been many years since I’ve seen her so I sometimes wonder if she still remembers me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to find out. Another story I just remembered as I think back… She was playing at a small venue in the Dallas area and I drive up to see her (2 hour drive) only to realize when I got there that I couldn’t get in because you had to be 18 years or older and I wasn’t. Even though neither was Taylor, haha, but hey she was the performer. I was going to wait around outside but the security told me since I was underage I had to leave the premises and they literally followed me off the property. So I had to think up another plan. I wrote a letter to her on a scrap piece of paper with a crayon I had in the car and told her briefly that I was there and trying to get in to see her. Then I drove back up there and tried giving it to someone to pass back to her, not knowing if it would actually get to her. Meanwhile, I was already back up near the venue so tried another plan. I talked to the radio station there on site that was promoting the concert and asked if they could help me get backstage to see Taylor. The guy was super friendly and helped me do just that. He gave me VIP passes and got me back there before the show. I remember walking into the “green room” or whatever they call it where Taylor and her mom were. Taylor was in there tuning her guitar chitchatting with her mom. When I came in she told me she had just got my letter and looks like I managed to get in. So we took a few pictures and I went on my way before she took the stage. Watching her grow in her fame over the years has been something else. It was interesting because I could see it happening in real time. Our conversations became fewer and fewer until one day they stopped. I could see the comments on her page start to explode and knew she was at a point where our conversations weren’t going to continue. Sadly I never tried to carry on conversations outside of MySpace so had no way to contact her outside of there. It was fun. Lots of really good memories. Maybe somehow, I’ll be able to reconnect with Taylor at some point in the future so she can meet my wife. I obviously would love that, but who knows. Maybe she would still remember who I am after all this time? |
2024.02.29 16:37 GIBICIMERT Turkey Emo Scene Archive
- As My Life Falls Apart, Babaeski/Izmir (2019)
Not a personal favourite, more of a emo/post-hardcore solo project but yet still has elements from metalcore, hardcore and scene emo.
Artist Spotify
- b12, Istanbul (2022)
Consists of members of other well known punk acts from Istanbul’s punk scene (Asperger, Hedonistic Noise, Selfblame, Hatespeech). Really good emocore/early post-hardcore.
First and only EP: “vallahi sevdadan”
- Change of Plans, Istanbul (2004)
Lovely lovely post-rock.
Album
Last.fm
Another Album
- The Bitmap Workshop, Istanbul (2008)
Consists of ex-members of screamo legends Noisy Sins of the Insect. Post-hardcore and screamo with post-rock influences.
My Space :D
Last.fm
Their only song on Youtube (Instrumental)
- Burn Her Letters, Eskisehir (2005)
Screamo legends from Eskisehir. Some of the members are still active in bands such as: Pembe, Ria, Jornada del Muerto. They were in the line-up in French legendary screamo act Daitro’ Istanbul concert.
Last.fm
Personal favourite track
Live recording from Nov, 2008
- Circuits Made Flesh, Istanbul (2007)
It is really hard to find information about them.They were also in the line-up in French legendary screamo act Daitro’ Istanbul concert.
First Demo
An actual live recording from Nov, 2008
Last.fm
- Fatstar, Eskisehir (2000)
Lovely sad boy emo punk.
Personal favourite track
Last.fm
- Getaman, Istanbul (2000)
Formed by three cousins who were bored during a summer break. Really lovely hardcore/fast pop punk. Members are seen in other punk bands. (Chopstick Suicide, Kapsuka, Potlatch…) They made a comeback from a hiatus in 2021 with their sophmore EP “Geri Dön ve Nefes Al”. They had Parham A.G. for their vocals in this new EP.
First EP (FFO: early Title Fight, early Blink-182 etc.)
Live recording after their reunion
Live recording of the original line-up
- Hiraeth, Izmir (2020)
Really good post-hardcore from Izmir. Sadly they’ve been inactive since they dropped a single after their first EP.
- In Between, Izmir (2001)
Izmir post-hardcore legends. Really lovely sound and vocals with post-rock and maybe a crumb of mathrock influences. (Prepare your tissues)
Their only legendary EP
- Indefinite Time Period, Istanbul 2014
Consists of members of Noisy Sins of the Insect, Lost in Bazaar, Sakatat, Stevan Flipovic. The group, which uses Turkish lyrics in its compositions, aims to bring a different perspective to the eastern / western synthesis in music by embodying the arabesque motifs of the eastern music maqams in their compositions, while decorating them with symphonic and electronic elements.
Their EP
Live at Karga
- Jornada del Muerto, Istanbul (2020)
Screamo band with big influences from black metal (blast beats, melodic black metal screaming, tremolo guitar picking etc.). Band consists of members from other legendary/new bands from the local scene. (Noisy Sins of the Insect, Pourbon, ria, Burn Her Letters).
Their freshman LP (a must listen imo)
Last.fm
- Jack in a Box
Near 0 info online. Screamoish music. Only songs can be found online are from a Turkish screamo comp.
- Joke for a While, Istanbul (2012)
Istanbul based punk rock/emo band with legendary members from other various acts.
Their songs can be found here
- Kafabindünya, Istanbul
Really old project of the lead guitar player. They did dreamy post-rock (FFO: Explosions in the sky). Personal fav post-rock project.
Obi
Last.fm
- Kilink, Foca (2003)
Turkey pop punk/punk legends from Izmir. They started doing youthful punk rock with their first three albums and they are full of emotions. One can notice that with their albums their sound got way softer, which escalated to their demo “Kasaba”, truely the best thing happened to Turkey emo music. Their full of emotion lyrics and lovely use of lo-fi elements put the album to a level I would call it a masterpiece. After “Kasaba” Kilink stopped doing music but yet the guitavox and bass player contunied to play music under the name of “Palmiyeler” which means “Palm trees”. They are currently doing warm indie rock. But they never forget their punk roots and keep covering Kilink songs.
Last.fm
Palmiyeler covers of Kilink songs:
OÇ
Aslında Alkol Hala Damarımda
Arabalar
Sıcak Günler Geri Geldi
Harika
Harika
Köpekler
Köpekler
Sonuçta Farklı Kafalar
Sonuçta Farklı Kafalar
- Lost in Bazaar, Istanbul (2008)
Another legendary band from Istanbul’ scene. Lost in Bazaar has ex members of; Noisy Sins of The Insect, The Bitmap Workshop, Stevan Flipovic and Circuits Made Flesh. They also had a record label call “Pati Puta Prima Records”, where they helped other local screamo bands to make albums. They haven’t been active for years now.
bandcamp
- My Pen Is Big, Ankara (2015)
Lovely melodic hardcore/fast pop punk from capital city of Ankara.
Their only EP
- Never Reach Home, Istanbul (2008)
Really fun melodic hardcore/fast pop punk from Istanbul. They did an European tour in 2010 and disbanded after the tour.
Personal favourite
A live recording from 2012
bandcamp
- Noisy Sins of the Insect, Istabul (2004)
They were active for only two years, from 2004 to 2007, and only left one album. Their sound was: very original, melodic, dissonant, abrasive, fast, melancholic and atmospheric. They did a reunion show in 2020, which they also live recorded and published as a split between old hardcore band Crunch. It is no question that Noisy Sins of the Insect was a real big influence on Turkey’ underground scene.
Last.fm
Live split
Live recording of the reunion show
Discography
Split with Malaysian band Daighila
- pembe, Istanbul (2020)
Their unique sound touches a different spectrum of music, where one can hear dreampop, punk, screamo, hardcore, shoegaze influences in their music. Members can be seen other various music acts such as: Hedonistic Noise, hiçamahiç, ria, Burn Her Letters, Backover etc.
Freshman LP: Yalnı Hissedersen
Sophmore LP: Hepimizin Evi
Last.fm
Live
- Pembe Patikler, Istanbul (2012)
Really fun emo punk/pop punk. Sadly they haven’t been active since 2015.
Songs can be found here
- Pickpocket, Istanbul (2000)
Istanbul’s post-hardcore and metalcore legends. They have a special place in the scene with their capability of delivering great shows.
Live @Summer Rocks Fest 2007
Their legendary album
Last.fm
- Ria, Istanbul (2018)
Great emoviolence/skramz from Istanbul. Consists of members of other various acts (Pembe, Burn Her Letters, Saatleri Ayarlama Enstitüsü, Backover, XRISALEX). Their raw and dynamic sound and their capability to deliver distinct styles make them different than other acts.
First LP: Mono No Aware
EP: Creves, Chaves, Si Vous n’Etes Pas Contents!
Must see live recording
- Saatleri Ayarlama Enstitüsü, Istanbul (2014)
Perfectly done post-hardcore/screamo. With getting their name from a really famous Turkish novel, they got to be as legendary as the book they got their name of. After doing a Europe tour they said quits, but in 2020 they released a remastered Discography album.
Demo from 2014
Live in Germany
Live in Turkey
Last.fm
- Scenes We Have Missed, Izmir (2016)
Emotive melodic hardcore band from Izmir. They released two EP’s and a couple singles.
Last.fm
EP: Broken But Blessed
EP: State of Dreaming
Live at Dinazor Bar
- Second, Istanbul (2000)
Pop punk legends from Istanbul. They are still active with a slight line-up change. Members are well known in the scene with other bands. They are probably the most known band in this list, headlining big shows and with a big fan base.
First EP
Live
- Shiva, Istanbul (2002)
Consists of the members of Joke for a While. Reallly good emo with Turkish lyrics. They also joined a song competition where they ended up being in the first 10 song among 742 other songs.
Tracks can be found here
Great track
- Soygun, Izmir (2007)
One of the best lyricist and composer among the list. Really good post-hardcore with screamo influences. Their EP Belirli Günler ve Haftalar is a known cult EP in the scene of Turkey at this point. They said quits after members left the band.
First Demo
Second Demo
Live @Peyote
Last.fm
- Stevan Flipovic, Istanbul (2007)
Yet another screamo legend from Istanbul. They are inactive since they dropped their demo. IMO this band is a must check.
Last.fm
Demo
Personal fav track 1: Dying is Stronger Than Killing
Presonal fav track 2: One Heart One Fight
- Taratarama, Istanbul (2008)
Another emo/screamo influenced band. The interesting part is that the lead and vox of the band is an American journalist who will also seen in other acts in Turkey (Foton Kuşağı, Aşk) and the States (Logs, Wild Guess, Crush Hour). Other members are exmembers of the legendary screamo band Noisy Sins of the Insect. They released only an album. The album got remastered a couple years ago.
Last.fm
Album
- Two Easy Steps, Isparta
Consists of two members and tottally diy. They did an album called Home Sweet Home but it is impossible to find it. Their only song online is from a Turkish screamo compilation.
Last.fm
submitted by GIBICIMERT to Emo [link] [comments]
Not a personal favourite, more of a emo/post-hardcore solo project but yet still has elements from metalcore, hardcore and scene emo.
Artist Spotify
- b12, Istanbul (2022)
Consists of members of other well known punk acts from Istanbul’s punk scene (Asperger, Hedonistic Noise, Selfblame, Hatespeech). Really good emocore/early post-hardcore.
First and only EP: “vallahi sevdadan”
- Change of Plans, Istanbul (2004)
Lovely lovely post-rock.
Album
Last.fm
Another Album
- The Bitmap Workshop, Istanbul (2008)
Consists of ex-members of screamo legends Noisy Sins of the Insect. Post-hardcore and screamo with post-rock influences.
My Space :D
Last.fm
Their only song on Youtube (Instrumental)
- Burn Her Letters, Eskisehir (2005)
Screamo legends from Eskisehir. Some of the members are still active in bands such as: Pembe, Ria, Jornada del Muerto. They were in the line-up in French legendary screamo act Daitro’ Istanbul concert.
Last.fm
Personal favourite track
Live recording from Nov, 2008
- Circuits Made Flesh, Istanbul (2007)
It is really hard to find information about them.They were also in the line-up in French legendary screamo act Daitro’ Istanbul concert.
First Demo
An actual live recording from Nov, 2008
Last.fm
- Fatstar, Eskisehir (2000)
Lovely sad boy emo punk.
Personal favourite track
Last.fm
- Getaman, Istanbul (2000)
Formed by three cousins who were bored during a summer break. Really lovely hardcore/fast pop punk. Members are seen in other punk bands. (Chopstick Suicide, Kapsuka, Potlatch…) They made a comeback from a hiatus in 2021 with their sophmore EP “Geri Dön ve Nefes Al”. They had Parham A.G. for their vocals in this new EP.
First EP (FFO: early Title Fight, early Blink-182 etc.)
Live recording after their reunion
Live recording of the original line-up
- Hiraeth, Izmir (2020)
Really good post-hardcore from Izmir. Sadly they’ve been inactive since they dropped a single after their first EP.
- In Between, Izmir (2001)
Izmir post-hardcore legends. Really lovely sound and vocals with post-rock and maybe a crumb of mathrock influences. (Prepare your tissues)
Their only legendary EP
- Indefinite Time Period, Istanbul 2014
Consists of members of Noisy Sins of the Insect, Lost in Bazaar, Sakatat, Stevan Flipovic. The group, which uses Turkish lyrics in its compositions, aims to bring a different perspective to the eastern / western synthesis in music by embodying the arabesque motifs of the eastern music maqams in their compositions, while decorating them with symphonic and electronic elements.
Their EP
Live at Karga
- Jornada del Muerto, Istanbul (2020)
Screamo band with big influences from black metal (blast beats, melodic black metal screaming, tremolo guitar picking etc.). Band consists of members from other legendary/new bands from the local scene. (Noisy Sins of the Insect, Pourbon, ria, Burn Her Letters).
Their freshman LP (a must listen imo)
Last.fm
- Jack in a Box
Near 0 info online. Screamoish music. Only songs can be found online are from a Turkish screamo comp.
- Joke for a While, Istanbul (2012)
Istanbul based punk rock/emo band with legendary members from other various acts.
Their songs can be found here
- Kafabindünya, Istanbul
Really old project of the lead guitar player. They did dreamy post-rock (FFO: Explosions in the sky). Personal fav post-rock project.
Obi
Last.fm
- Kilink, Foca (2003)
Turkey pop punk/punk legends from Izmir. They started doing youthful punk rock with their first three albums and they are full of emotions. One can notice that with their albums their sound got way softer, which escalated to their demo “Kasaba”, truely the best thing happened to Turkey emo music. Their full of emotion lyrics and lovely use of lo-fi elements put the album to a level I would call it a masterpiece. After “Kasaba” Kilink stopped doing music but yet the guitavox and bass player contunied to play music under the name of “Palmiyeler” which means “Palm trees”. They are currently doing warm indie rock. But they never forget their punk roots and keep covering Kilink songs.
Last.fm
Palmiyeler covers of Kilink songs:
OÇ
Aslında Alkol Hala Damarımda
Arabalar
Sıcak Günler Geri Geldi
Harika
Harika
Köpekler
Köpekler
Sonuçta Farklı Kafalar
Sonuçta Farklı Kafalar
- Lost in Bazaar, Istanbul (2008)
Another legendary band from Istanbul’ scene. Lost in Bazaar has ex members of; Noisy Sins of The Insect, The Bitmap Workshop, Stevan Flipovic and Circuits Made Flesh. They also had a record label call “Pati Puta Prima Records”, where they helped other local screamo bands to make albums. They haven’t been active for years now.
bandcamp
- My Pen Is Big, Ankara (2015)
Lovely melodic hardcore/fast pop punk from capital city of Ankara.
Their only EP
- Never Reach Home, Istanbul (2008)
Really fun melodic hardcore/fast pop punk from Istanbul. They did an European tour in 2010 and disbanded after the tour.
Personal favourite
A live recording from 2012
bandcamp
- Noisy Sins of the Insect, Istabul (2004)
They were active for only two years, from 2004 to 2007, and only left one album. Their sound was: very original, melodic, dissonant, abrasive, fast, melancholic and atmospheric. They did a reunion show in 2020, which they also live recorded and published as a split between old hardcore band Crunch. It is no question that Noisy Sins of the Insect was a real big influence on Turkey’ underground scene.
Last.fm
Live split
Live recording of the reunion show
Discography
Split with Malaysian band Daighila
- pembe, Istanbul (2020)
Their unique sound touches a different spectrum of music, where one can hear dreampop, punk, screamo, hardcore, shoegaze influences in their music. Members can be seen other various music acts such as: Hedonistic Noise, hiçamahiç, ria, Burn Her Letters, Backover etc.
Freshman LP: Yalnı Hissedersen
Sophmore LP: Hepimizin Evi
Last.fm
Live
- Pembe Patikler, Istanbul (2012)
Really fun emo punk/pop punk. Sadly they haven’t been active since 2015.
Songs can be found here
- Pickpocket, Istanbul (2000)
Istanbul’s post-hardcore and metalcore legends. They have a special place in the scene with their capability of delivering great shows.
Live @Summer Rocks Fest 2007
Their legendary album
Last.fm
- Ria, Istanbul (2018)
Great emoviolence/skramz from Istanbul. Consists of members of other various acts (Pembe, Burn Her Letters, Saatleri Ayarlama Enstitüsü, Backover, XRISALEX). Their raw and dynamic sound and their capability to deliver distinct styles make them different than other acts.
First LP: Mono No Aware
EP: Creves, Chaves, Si Vous n’Etes Pas Contents!
Must see live recording
- Saatleri Ayarlama Enstitüsü, Istanbul (2014)
Perfectly done post-hardcore/screamo. With getting their name from a really famous Turkish novel, they got to be as legendary as the book they got their name of. After doing a Europe tour they said quits, but in 2020 they released a remastered Discography album.
Demo from 2014
Live in Germany
Live in Turkey
Last.fm
- Scenes We Have Missed, Izmir (2016)
Emotive melodic hardcore band from Izmir. They released two EP’s and a couple singles.
Last.fm
EP: Broken But Blessed
EP: State of Dreaming
Live at Dinazor Bar
- Second, Istanbul (2000)
Pop punk legends from Istanbul. They are still active with a slight line-up change. Members are well known in the scene with other bands. They are probably the most known band in this list, headlining big shows and with a big fan base.
First EP
Live
- Shiva, Istanbul (2002)
Consists of the members of Joke for a While. Reallly good emo with Turkish lyrics. They also joined a song competition where they ended up being in the first 10 song among 742 other songs.
Tracks can be found here
Great track
- Soygun, Izmir (2007)
One of the best lyricist and composer among the list. Really good post-hardcore with screamo influences. Their EP Belirli Günler ve Haftalar is a known cult EP in the scene of Turkey at this point. They said quits after members left the band.
First Demo
Second Demo
Live @Peyote
Last.fm
- Stevan Flipovic, Istanbul (2007)
Yet another screamo legend from Istanbul. They are inactive since they dropped their demo. IMO this band is a must check.
Last.fm
Demo
Personal fav track 1: Dying is Stronger Than Killing
Presonal fav track 2: One Heart One Fight
- Taratarama, Istanbul (2008)
Another emo/screamo influenced band. The interesting part is that the lead and vox of the band is an American journalist who will also seen in other acts in Turkey (Foton Kuşağı, Aşk) and the States (Logs, Wild Guess, Crush Hour). Other members are exmembers of the legendary screamo band Noisy Sins of the Insect. They released only an album. The album got remastered a couple years ago.
Last.fm
Album
- Two Easy Steps, Isparta
Consists of two members and tottally diy. They did an album called Home Sweet Home but it is impossible to find it. Their only song online is from a Turkish screamo compilation.
Last.fm
2024.02.28 10:57 ImSoBadWithNames42 My thoughts on the way of kings
I'm on chapter 19 (28% of the book) and A) I love attention and B) I've heard you guys like to hear what the clueless people think before they finish Sanderson's books. (Copy pasting the same introduction to when I read Warbreaker lol).
. Firstly, I've already cried reading this book. When Syl gives the leaves to Kaladin and stops him from killing himself I found it was kind of cheap, like "just knowing this spirit likes you was enough to change your mind?" Then the flashback chapter came. And the emotional meaning was the same as when Tien gave him the pebble. "It's not much, but I've tried my best to give you something that shows I care about you." I wasn't expecting to cry so early.
So, yeah, Kaladin and Syl are obviously my favorite characters. I'm missing Shallan, she was actually interesting for me, and I hope she gets to use the soulcaster once she steals it. But she has a Shardblade, right? And it has something to do with how her father died? Dalinar is awesome, I don't agree with how he acts but I can understand it. No idea what's causing his visions though.
Now, my theories about the epigraphs, since there's always something hidden there. The things people say seconds before they die, in my mind, might have something to do with how their souls go to the Cognitive Realm before the beyond. Maybe they do it a few seconds earlier than death on Roshar. I believe the cognitive realm looks diferent on each planet, but don't know anything about it outside Scadrial.
The epigraphs on part 2 though. I didn't think the shards would be mentioned so early. It's obviously a letter between two people, I assume 2 vessels since they talk about Ati. I know odium already destroyed a few shards, so maybe it's him writing before he kills his first one.
But holy shit, the more I few like I know the world building the more I understand how little I know I want to know more about the heralds, but suddenly it skips thousands of years and there are the lost Radiants and I have no idea who they are. Also, no idea why shardblades and plates have this name but there's obvious meaning behind them that I want to find out.
Edit: I had only seen Syl on the pin collection and didn't know she was tiny. She's so cuuuute
Edit 2: wait, the epigraph on chapter 22 means Ati went to Sel and that's what caused the chasm opening and therefore the Reod?????
submitted by ImSoBadWithNames42 to Cosmere [link] [comments]
. Firstly, I've already cried reading this book. When Syl gives the leaves to Kaladin and stops him from killing himself I found it was kind of cheap, like "just knowing this spirit likes you was enough to change your mind?" Then the flashback chapter came. And the emotional meaning was the same as when Tien gave him the pebble. "It's not much, but I've tried my best to give you something that shows I care about you." I wasn't expecting to cry so early.
So, yeah, Kaladin and Syl are obviously my favorite characters. I'm missing Shallan, she was actually interesting for me, and I hope she gets to use the soulcaster once she steals it. But she has a Shardblade, right? And it has something to do with how her father died? Dalinar is awesome, I don't agree with how he acts but I can understand it. No idea what's causing his visions though.
Now, my theories about the epigraphs, since there's always something hidden there. The things people say seconds before they die, in my mind, might have something to do with how their souls go to the Cognitive Realm before the beyond. Maybe they do it a few seconds earlier than death on Roshar. I believe the cognitive realm looks diferent on each planet, but don't know anything about it outside Scadrial.
The epigraphs on part 2 though. I didn't think the shards would be mentioned so early. It's obviously a letter between two people, I assume 2 vessels since they talk about Ati. I know odium already destroyed a few shards, so maybe it's him writing before he kills his first one.
But holy shit, the more I few like I know the world building the more I understand how little I know I want to know more about the heralds, but suddenly it skips thousands of years and there are the lost Radiants and I have no idea who they are. Also, no idea why shardblades and plates have this name but there's obvious meaning behind them that I want to find out.
Edit: I had only seen Syl on the pin collection and didn't know she was tiny. She's so cuuuute
Edit 2: wait, the epigraph on chapter 22 means Ati went to Sel and that's what caused the chasm opening and therefore the Reod?????
2024.02.23 19:40 RebornTrain Gulag Archipelago by Solzhenitsyn has an interesting passage about truth and information. Is this still true?
 | This sounds so true that it's haunting, as I'm sure many can see now how different our language has become so that we can't really get each other. It's a small but subtle shift that over generations can create canyons of difference between people. submitted by RebornTrain to JordanPeterson [link] [comments] |
2024.02.16 17:58 macrocages Held back from last year of residency (possibly dismissal)
So, I'm not even sure what I'm asking here but I feel like I'm being completely gaslighted by my program and I'm going through the process of 'constructive dismissal'.
I have been under a microscope from my PD and the "competency committee" in my program for over a year now. I'm in a known malignant anesthesia program in the South (they've had multiple physician suicides throughout the years across multiple specialties). Its a religious-affiliated institution and lets just say I don't look like (or think like) anyone in a leadership role at this place. Everything started with a medication error I made as an early CA1, I was in a horribly malignant rotation and my wife had just delivered our second child, I was at the end of my rope and being treated like dirt, the stress got to me and I ended up giving the wrong medication to a pt. It was horrible, I still feel horrible about it and can't forgive myself for this. However, I made the huge mistake of documenting how I was being treated by a couple of people that have big influence in the program (I didn't know that at the time). I did not officially complained, but I explained how I was being treated in a letter to my PD, looking back I think this was what did me in.
I have not been able to move on from this in my program's eyes, I was immediately put on probation when it happened and I have been moved from one 'improvement plan' to another over and over, and now I won't be moved up to my final year and will have to repeat a year. I passed my board exam, I'm being told I'm a 'nice person' with no professionalism issues and in general good terms w/ attendings and co-residents (so far), but basically I'm incompetent. However the issues of 'incompetency' since that incident have been a string of soft complaints based on details or 'missing things' like getting a pimp question wrong while I'm in the middle of inducing/ waking up, forgetting to grab a medication while I was in the middle of a hectic case on an insanely busy day, or forgetting to add a stupid comment on a note that nobody is going to read.
I'm basically being told I cannot get any 'bad evaluations', which has been impossible since everyone now knows about my issues and I'm constantly being watched. Any slight 'mistake' goes into my record as another reason why I suck. I also think that someone has let my co-residents know because all of a sudden I've been being asked 'how am I doing' in a pitiful tone by several co-residents w/o a clear reason, and I'm not sure if is my perception but I can feel people pulling back and treating me as if I'm damaged goods. Attendings who used to tell me I was doing well and liked working with me, all of a sudden barely talk to me, and no longer give me evals. I know for a fact they have done similar things to people that are 'different' before, and several of my 'diferent' residents have also been put on 'improvement plans'. They have fired residents in the past as well, multiple times.
It's horrible and is messing with my mental health, we have a mortgage, two kids, and my huge med school debt, I can't loose this job. The worse is that I'm still under thread of being dismissed, even if I agree to stay longer. I don't know how to get out of this situation and I'm afraid I'm going to be dragged along as free labor and eventually dismissed, or my contract won't be renewed. I have no idea what I will do if I'm let go, as they have basically built a file making me look like the stupidest resident to ever disgrace their program, I doubt any other residencies would take me. I also really like and enjoy my job, I don't want it to be taken away from me. I don't think a lawyer can help me out of this. Any help or words of encouragement from other people that have gone through this would be appreciated it. I don't even know what I'm looking for here, it is criminal what little leverage we have after years of sacrifice, our lives can be destroyed in one second.
submitted by macrocages to Residency [link] [comments]
I have been under a microscope from my PD and the "competency committee" in my program for over a year now. I'm in a known malignant anesthesia program in the South (they've had multiple physician suicides throughout the years across multiple specialties). Its a religious-affiliated institution and lets just say I don't look like (or think like) anyone in a leadership role at this place. Everything started with a medication error I made as an early CA1, I was in a horribly malignant rotation and my wife had just delivered our second child, I was at the end of my rope and being treated like dirt, the stress got to me and I ended up giving the wrong medication to a pt. It was horrible, I still feel horrible about it and can't forgive myself for this. However, I made the huge mistake of documenting how I was being treated by a couple of people that have big influence in the program (I didn't know that at the time). I did not officially complained, but I explained how I was being treated in a letter to my PD, looking back I think this was what did me in.
I have not been able to move on from this in my program's eyes, I was immediately put on probation when it happened and I have been moved from one 'improvement plan' to another over and over, and now I won't be moved up to my final year and will have to repeat a year. I passed my board exam, I'm being told I'm a 'nice person' with no professionalism issues and in general good terms w/ attendings and co-residents (so far), but basically I'm incompetent. However the issues of 'incompetency' since that incident have been a string of soft complaints based on details or 'missing things' like getting a pimp question wrong while I'm in the middle of inducing/ waking up, forgetting to grab a medication while I was in the middle of a hectic case on an insanely busy day, or forgetting to add a stupid comment on a note that nobody is going to read.
I'm basically being told I cannot get any 'bad evaluations', which has been impossible since everyone now knows about my issues and I'm constantly being watched. Any slight 'mistake' goes into my record as another reason why I suck. I also think that someone has let my co-residents know because all of a sudden I've been being asked 'how am I doing' in a pitiful tone by several co-residents w/o a clear reason, and I'm not sure if is my perception but I can feel people pulling back and treating me as if I'm damaged goods. Attendings who used to tell me I was doing well and liked working with me, all of a sudden barely talk to me, and no longer give me evals. I know for a fact they have done similar things to people that are 'different' before, and several of my 'diferent' residents have also been put on 'improvement plans'. They have fired residents in the past as well, multiple times.
It's horrible and is messing with my mental health, we have a mortgage, two kids, and my huge med school debt, I can't loose this job. The worse is that I'm still under thread of being dismissed, even if I agree to stay longer. I don't know how to get out of this situation and I'm afraid I'm going to be dragged along as free labor and eventually dismissed, or my contract won't be renewed. I have no idea what I will do if I'm let go, as they have basically built a file making me look like the stupidest resident to ever disgrace their program, I doubt any other residencies would take me. I also really like and enjoy my job, I don't want it to be taken away from me. I don't think a lawyer can help me out of this. Any help or words of encouragement from other people that have gone through this would be appreciated it. I don't even know what I'm looking for here, it is criminal what little leverage we have after years of sacrifice, our lives can be destroyed in one second.
2024.02.14 20:31 Feeling_Associate491 Can i read sura Yasin if i dont know hoe to read the Quran properly
I dont know how to read the Quran very good since i am Bosnian. My pronounciation is not the best and i mix letters, but i still read it often. I have a big wish and that is to read surah Yasin for my uncle before ramadan. And how should i do it? Should i just read it or is there a diferent procedure?
submitted by Feeling_Associate491 to islam [link] [comments]
2024.02.11 12:49 Conscious-Dingo4463 '65 GMC trucks
 | submitted by Conscious-Dingo4463 to classiccars [link] [comments] |
2024.02.07 00:20 pig-serpent r/popheads AOTY 2023 #32: Vylet Pony - Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and it’s Life as an Afterthought)
Artist: Vylet Pony
Album: Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and it’s Life as an Afterthought)
Release Date: February 3rd, 2023
Tracklist/Lyrics: Genius
Listen: Spotify Apple Music Tidal YouTube
Vylet Pony just may be the first fandom musician to breach containment into the wider sphere of musical discourse without the caveat of being “meme music,” a branding that has previously led to detachment or the association of being for children that other popular fandom music that has breached containment got stuck with in the past. And while her rise to prominence has been helped by the reclamation of the brony [Translation: Adult fan of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic] fandom amongst young queers, her large volume of music and release strategy that play into streaming algorithms, her willingness to never settle and continue pushing herself with her music, and even a diehard fan on RYM DMing everyone and getting them to listen to Love Letters: Colorless, there is no denying that a large part of her breakout is due to her music just being good. Her music is getting attention because it speaks to people in thoughtful and unique ways, but even then it must be reconciled that her music still has a higher barrier to entry than the songs by many other artists. The obvious start is the pony aesthetic, both because it instantly repels people who cannot take music based on a toy commercial for five year olds as seriously as the music requires, but also because someone who has been indifferent to My Little Pony lacks the context of 9 seasons of a TV show, a movie, multiple spinoffs, and over a decade of fandom culture, in-jokes, and “well known” fan creative works. Quantity is another barrier. Not only does Vylet have a lot of albums, her sweet spot for album length is between 70-80 minutes, and much of her music is very personal, dealing with some of the heaviest moments of her life and toughest questions she’s ever had to face. Any one of these might not be an issue, but with all of these barriers it’s very likely that many people understandably do not put in the work of appreciating her music.
Carousel, despite being one of the best albums of 2023 (according to my own, personal, and totally objective opinion of course,) features the same barriers, on top of being Vylet’s most thematically dense and complicated to understand record. So while the only true way for you to appreciate the music contained within it is to listen to the album, I’m hoping that I can both provide some of the fandom context for the non-brony audience of this subreddit, but also attempt to pull out some of the complex thoughts I’ve had about the album as a starting point for you all to begin parsing the layers of questions asked by the album. But of course, first we need to talk about brony music.
It follows that the emphasis on remixes found in the early brony music culture would lead the scene to being associated with EDM and Dubtrot [Translation: Brony Dubstep.] And with the help of accessible music making tools and the popularization of modern distribution websites like Youtube and Bandcamp and the abandonment of archaic websites like Myspace, brony Music boomed larger than anyone could have expected. All the eyes focused on the scene made it a fantastic place for fledgling musicians to get eyes on their work and learn the ropes. And even with the influx of people making generic electronic music, hoping that they too could become #HorseFamous [Translation: Ironic term for being popular in the brony Fandom,] the scene continued to gain fresh, creative, and interesting voices in every genre imaginable through 2015.
Obviously, one of those voices was Vylet Pony, and one thing you can always say about her is that she’s ambitious. In a Sonemic interview, Trixie stated that she always aimed above #HorseFame and wanted to be signed to Monstercat, and to have her music breach the containment of the brony fandom. Even in her earliest work, she was making concept albums with intricate stories told from the point of view of many different OC’s. As the Brony music scene faded and the big names left the fandom to make original work (or shamelessly jumped to the Five Nights at Freddy’s or Undertale fandoms), less new blood entered the system, and fan interest in both the show and the music tapered off, Vylet Pony remained one of the few names people talked about in a post 2015 pony music world. As early as 2016 or 2017, it felt like she was starting to feel synonymous with modern pony music.
Of course, the amount of Vylet fans who were paying attention to horse music is smaller than one would expect, and for most people 2021 is the first time they heard of Vylet Pony. Cutiemarks (And the Ties that Bind Us) was an explosion of ears on Vylet’s music, and loads of non-bronies were tuning in to see what all the hubbub was about. And for every person who listened and was converted to a Vylet fan or even sometimes the My Little Pony fandom as a whole, there was someone else who loudly didn’t get what the hype was or a handful who hated seeing “fake music” clogging up the rateyourmusic charts and general discussion spaces. The level of backlash one gets when their niche music leaves their target audience is rough on anypony, especially someone who is as engaged with their fandom as Vylet is. As such, her newfound popularity has colored the background of the music she’s released since. Her 2022 album Can Opener’s Notebook: Fish Whisperer was about the joy of music and served as a reminder to herself about why she makes music in the first place, picking her up from all the comments that called her music “fake.”. Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and its Life as an Afterthought), which was supposed to be her second 2022 album, dropped in early February of 2023, and while they are never clearly addressed, many of the same frustrations with the larger audiences’ reactions to her albums remain hanging in the air.
While there is no official division between the front half of the album and the back half, I find it helpful to split my listens of this album in two. Not only because 78 minutes is a lot of music for one sitting, but also because there are very clear sonic and thematic differences between the front half and the back half. What I mean by that is that the front half of this album has all the bops! If you’re the type to want to throw your hooves [Translation: hands] in the air and dance, this is going to be the side for you. It’s got the Nu-jack Swing, it’s got the dubstep! You’re telling me this album has drum, AND bass!?
My personal favorite song on the album, “Constellation Cradle,” is also the thesis statement of the first half. The first quarter of the song sets the scene, filled with staccato stabs of synths and popping bass, it gives the feeling both of floating but also of traveling too fast to take in anything you’re seeing. It’s you traveling to the so-called Constellation Cradle, the land of stars, and where they are born. Once there you slow down and settle into a funky trip hop groove as the “moar bass” that you’re here for floods your ears, and finally Vylet explains how you too can become #HorseFamous. Her answer is, of course, to never innovate or challenge your audience, copy ideas from the show so much that they’re ground to mush, and play to nostalgia as much as you can. Not only is it a scathing critique of other musicians in the scene who were one trick ponies, playing their one song until it needed to go to a cemetery, and the musicians who failed to put themselves into their art and wondered why their new song wasn’t doing very well when they forgot to add something pony related to the title, it also feels like a deconstruction of the meme culture as it evolves in fandom. At a certain level, it almost felt like brony culture had become just the repetition of meaningless catchphrases on catchphrases on catchphrases, and to be honest, that’s not very 20% cooler of you! [Translation: It was funny when Rainbow Dash said 20% cooler in the show in 2010. It’s still funny in 2024 right?]
In other songs on the front half, there is a sense of irony created by Vylet seemingly following her own bad advice. “Crush Kill Destroy Swag,” is named after a catchphrase taken from the popular fan animation, Swag.MOV [Warning: The humor of this video can very politely be called “edgy” and as such I do not think it will gel very well with the tastes of the average person reading this.] “Bass Cannon'' is the dubtrot song of the album, harking back to the general dubstep meme of having a bass cannon, but this was popular in the pony community not only because dubstep was, but because Pinkie Pie [Translation: The pink horse who throws parties] had a party cannon in the show. Naturally, with the fandom’s obsession with background ponies, the white horse with a spiked mane, headphones, and dark purple tinted glasses quickly became a dubstep DJ and got the fannames “DJ Pon-3,” her stage name, and “Vinyl Scratch,” her real name, both of which were eventually canonified. Over time, Nowhacking became the default Vinyl Scratch voice actor in the fandom, and look who’s featured on this track! “Brohoof” [Translation: Brofist [Translation: Fist bump]] is an example that draws from the show itself, an upbeat and very danceable take on Nu-Jack Swing that features classic samples of Pinkie Pie’s lines in season 1 of My Little Pony, including sampling “Giggle at the Ghosties,” the song in the pilot episode that had been covered and remixed to death by the fandom by 2012. And while it’s an absolute joy to just blast this song and not think about it, if you pay attention to the lyrics, you’ll find that it’s this album’s “Just Dance” or “Chained to the Rhythm.” The lyrics of the self proclaimed “Every single classic and every single favorite. ALL. IN. ONE!” detail Pinkie Pie getting possessed by an evil spirit and losing herself to the bass.
Now, writing a song where people’s souls are stolen by the concept of dubstep is extremely dark, and can very easily be read as a sharp condemnation of the entire brony music scene, but Trixie never comes across as mean spirited, and even goes out of her way to show her love for the fandom. For one, “How to Talk to Your Shadow” features small samples of “Discord Remix”- The Living Tombstone, “Everypony’s Bangin” - Silva Hound*, “Love is In Bloom Remix” - Archie*, and “Parties with Pinkie'' - Alex S, which she includes ostensibly because she likes the songs, even though it would be easy to argue they’re all songs that are being critiqued by the more dagger tongued segments of the album. Not only is “Pony Rock” is a stealth remix of brony classic trance song, “Sunshine, Celery Stalks,” by Pinkiepieswear, “Antonymph'' off of Cutiemarks has allusions to the other popular Pinkiepieswear song, “Flutterwonder,” creating a pattern of references to this particular artist. For as trite as I made “Bass Cannon '' sound, the song breathes new life into the tired format by replacing the tedious EDM buildups with bossa nova verses. The fandom was never a monolith, and while it’s clear Vylet was venting her frustrations with many aspects of the fandom, she also goes out of her way to both honor it and resurrect the ideas from it that she liked.
*I’m actually a fake brony and was unable to place two of these samples myself. Huge shout-out to RoxyBurrows on rate your music. If you’re reading this, I hope your insane talent to recognize brony music from 1 second clips will make you famous in the future.
As stated previously, this album doesn't officially have halves, but outside of my own personal preference, the official YouTube upload does have a short animation between “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” and “The Carrion Child,” before displaying a different image for most of the back half of the upload. As such, I feel no trepidation in calling those two songs the transition point between the first half of the album and the second, as they contain elements signature to both halves. Even though “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” is tied to the fandom and is technically a genre of dance music, ie Drum and Bass, the song is far less of a bop than you would expect. Instead of going for the Pendulum style hybrid DnB that most people would expect, or even the trans woman who makes Serial Experiments Lain her whole personality style atmospheric DnB, Vylet kicks the genre back to it’s 90s roots for a darker, Ed Rush inspired Neurofunk that brings the album down from bopville and into quiet contemplation city. Don’t worry that this mood doesn’t stick around for very long, it will be back. “The Carrion Child '' opens up with a dance break that sounds like it should be on the first half of the album, but quickly shifts to the tone and sound palette that we’ll expect from the rest of the album. Distorted guitars whip out and transform the song into an up-roaring 80s metal song that dissipates into a tense, industrial ambience as you can feel the thoughts racing around.
Both of these songs are also the turning point for the album from a lyrical perspective, with the criticism formerly reserved for the fandom at large beginning to turn inward. This album, like many Vylet albums, tells a complete story if you’re willing to dig for it, and while there are lyrical mentions to the story up until this point, most of it has been hidden in the video descriptions on YouTube, making them easy to miss for anyone who uses other streaming services. To summarize, Vylet Pony goes to the fair, gets freaked out by her reflection with glowing sapphire eyes, and chases it into the hall of mirrors. “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” sees Vylet chasing her reflection and finally giving up and destroying every mirror she can get her scythe-shaped guitar on, while “The Carrion Child” is Vylet meeting Creekflow, her shadow, face to face, and being taken into the mirror world where all the smashed mirrors are headless corpses.
“Hush” is the mirrored “Constellation Cradle:'' the true thesis of the album. The first half of the song is Creekflow unleashing a string of jabs about Vylet’s true character. A large insinuation is that Vylet is as about, if not more about, the fame and money than everyone she spent the first half of the album complaining about. She doesn’t buy Vylet’s act, proclaiming that “Saints will turn to sinners, and sinners to apologists once the cash has dried.” She’s no better than anyone else despite the so-called moral superiority she stakes. And this raises the question if Vylet has stagnated and if she’s really pushing herself and her audience. Obviously Vylet has found new genres to incorporate in her music and new stories to tell, but on the other hand, even when “The whore's found a new position, the old angler reels a new technique, a bravest strike to the easel covers red the walls of a finely furnished home, teaching a new dog new tricks,” everyone involved is still doing the same thing. Everyone is still a dog learning tricks. Even the new tricks are still meaningless, and Creekflow argues that it’s time for Vylet to hush: to stop making music.
It’s obvious that Vylet’s shadow is her own self-doubts, caused by the never ending and unanswerable questions every artist will face about their own work, but the allegory is pulling double duty. On top of being Vylet’s negativity, the nagging obstructionist thoughts, Creekflow is also the legacy of Vylet Pony. As Vylet gains more and more attention and has more and more people listen to her music, more and more people will recognize her, talk about her, and ultimately dictate who Creekflow is. Even though most of the rant is directed towards Trixie, I found myself getting cuts in as an audience member. “Would they miss you dearly, as I grow in your spotlight…Are you the sum of all which the light graces, or will you be valued by the outlines you leave?” is a direct call out of the inherent parasociality of listening to music and being a fan of it. Even as a fairly big fan, enough to have a Vylet Pony flair on this subreddit and be writing this piece, I have literally never interacted with her and I know literally nothing about her other than what she puts forth in her music and a handful of interviews. If, in the end, all we are is the impact we leave on others, and most people will only be impacted by Vylet Pony by her music, a deeply personal statement to be sure but one that by definition can never capture her essence, that means most of her impact will be done by her outlines. What she’ll be known as is “a picture of the picture, of the picture, of the picture, of the picture.”
A fun little tidbit is that during the prerelease cycle, Carousel was teased as a nine track album, with titles and runtimes revealed for tracks 1-7 and “Hush,” leaving “The Carrion Child” a complete mystery and having speculation run rampant* about it only for the album to release with 5 more songs than promised. While this was mostly just Vylet being a silly pony, it is fun to think about the world where this is the end of the album: cut off before the characters have time to think or grow, leaving the entire burden on the listener. Vylet still has a lot to say on the matter, but she still gives you the time to work things out on your own before continuing.
“Examining an Afterthought” is the follow up to the emotional gauntlet of the last few songs, and a super creative way to let everything sink in. The song itself is an ambient piece set to a recording of various listeners who have called into a radio station to talk about themselves. But none of that matters. The radio station is faint, and drifts into the background as the music takes it over—not in an overpowering way, but to show the dissociation that happens when you’re lost in thought—background noise so that you don’t have to think about your problems but you know that you’re not going to actually pay attention as your thoughts are just too powerful. And you start thinking, You know, now that we know that the shadows are our legacies, it paints the scene of Vylet destroying all the mirrors in the funhouse in a different light. As a real person, she’s multifaceted; you could even say that light hits her from all directions and leaves different shadows. But each person will only have one thought on her and her impact on their life. And people’s impressions of others are so easily changed. Every move she makes will change the way someone sees her, ruining tons of potential ways the Vylet Pony that exists in their mind could exist. The light of fame is scrutinizing. Everything Trixie has done and will continue to do in the future is herself breaking the mirrors—Creating the carrion that her final legacy will grow out of.
*My Personal guess was a cover of “A Turn for the Worse” by Tarby, another notable** fan song about Carousels.
**This song is only notable to me and other progressive metal heads in the fandom but I believe Tarby was fairly well known with fandom musicians so I maintain it was possible.
“A Flair for the Dramatic” serves as Vylet’s rebuttal to Creekflow, to herself, on top of being one of my personal favorites musically. The verses of the song grow out of “Examining An Afterthought,” featuring a nice bass hit with some piano that lay the basis for the song before the vocals, drums, and effects come in, only to lead to the chorus going full noise pop and becoming the loudest part of the album, 2nd only to the bridge. This all adds to the affirmation of Vylet’s character, that she’s melodramatic and likes making big and loud music and probably always will, and if it plays into herself why does the shadow of the work matter that much. Notably, “Flair” never answers any questions asked by Creekflow, explicitly stating that it has no answers and probably never will. In a similar moment of reflection, the song “Carousel” states that the best you can do is never sink down to the level of anger your self-doubts and self-hatred want you to do. You beat the questions of uncertainty by doubling down on yourself because it’s all you can do, and it works…for now.
This seems to be enough for Creekflow to sulk off, and Vylet continues to wander through the fairground, and around two minutes into “Carousel,” we get some of the most visceral sonic imagery imaginable. Precisely two minutes and twenty five seconds into the track, all the lights dramatically flare on, emphasizing the now active carousel, what was once the most extravagant and spectacular attraction in all of Ponyville. The entire passage of music is simultaneously majestic and goosebumps-inducing, despite only lasting about 10 seconds, but it is 10 seconds that will grab your attention every time you hear the song, and leave perhaps the sharpest impression of any moment on the entire album.
Vylet chooses to go on a few rides on the Carousel, and uses that time to think about how it’s an apt metaphor for everything this story has been about so far, and we can finally discuss the elephant (and the giraffe, and the zebra, and the many many horses) in the room. On the most obvious level, the carousel represents cycles. How you can move through life but always be in the same spot. Your self doubts and fears will never go away, you just push them out of the way the best you can, but they’ll still be blocking your path once you travel another 360 degrees. Of course, there’s also the cycle of Vylet’s music, and the idea that she’s never growing as an artist. That she’s glued to the horses on which she, her persona, and her music sit.
But also, people chose to ride carousels! People enjoy the spectacle brought about by them, including the music and the horses! Ponies enjoy some routines, and doing the same things over and over. How many times has that one guy we know re-watched the same TV show over and over? Life is like that too. We don’t always have to be pushing ourselves to do something new to make life worth living, we can get joy by slowly walking in circles and just enjoying the nature around us.
Of course, we don’t have to stay on the carousel.
There’s an entire world awaiting us once we leave the carousel filled with endless possibilities that are only ours to explore, when we’re ready. If we’re ever ready.
At the end of the album, Vylet gets off the Carousel and finds Creekflow to reconcile with her, now content with her own duality. Despite being opposites, Vylet and Creekflow are also the same. Just like the choice to stay on the carousel or to leave it. The future, the question of if Vylet and Creekflow will continue to get along or if they’ll continuously fight and break up, or even the question of if there’s a difference is left to our imagination.
In the end, the choice to leave the carousel won’t be ours. Perpetual motion doesn’t exist, and machines fail. The carousel will break down eventually and we’ll be forced to get off.But who knows.
Maybe one day a mechanic will come back and fix it.
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Album: Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and it’s Life as an Afterthought)
Release Date: February 3rd, 2023
Tracklist/Lyrics: Genius
Listen: Spotify Apple Music Tidal YouTube
Carousel
Zelda Trixie Lulamoon, much better known by her stage name Vylet Pony, is an Oregon based producesingemulti-instrumentalist who has been releasing music for the My Little Pony Fandom since 2013. Originally rooted in the festival EDM/ dubstep scene, as time has gone on she has continued searching for new genres to explore while never leaving her roots behind. She has released 18 albums, and her first album of 2023, Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and its Life as an Afterthought), is an introspective journey across many genres.Vylet Pony just may be the first fandom musician to breach containment into the wider sphere of musical discourse without the caveat of being “meme music,” a branding that has previously led to detachment or the association of being for children that other popular fandom music that has breached containment got stuck with in the past. And while her rise to prominence has been helped by the reclamation of the brony [Translation: Adult fan of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic] fandom amongst young queers, her large volume of music and release strategy that play into streaming algorithms, her willingness to never settle and continue pushing herself with her music, and even a diehard fan on RYM DMing everyone and getting them to listen to Love Letters: Colorless, there is no denying that a large part of her breakout is due to her music just being good. Her music is getting attention because it speaks to people in thoughtful and unique ways, but even then it must be reconciled that her music still has a higher barrier to entry than the songs by many other artists. The obvious start is the pony aesthetic, both because it instantly repels people who cannot take music based on a toy commercial for five year olds as seriously as the music requires, but also because someone who has been indifferent to My Little Pony lacks the context of 9 seasons of a TV show, a movie, multiple spinoffs, and over a decade of fandom culture, in-jokes, and “well known” fan creative works. Quantity is another barrier. Not only does Vylet have a lot of albums, her sweet spot for album length is between 70-80 minutes, and much of her music is very personal, dealing with some of the heaviest moments of her life and toughest questions she’s ever had to face. Any one of these might not be an issue, but with all of these barriers it’s very likely that many people understandably do not put in the work of appreciating her music.
Carousel, despite being one of the best albums of 2023 (according to my own, personal, and totally objective opinion of course,) features the same barriers, on top of being Vylet’s most thematically dense and complicated to understand record. So while the only true way for you to appreciate the music contained within it is to listen to the album, I’m hoping that I can both provide some of the fandom context for the non-brony audience of this subreddit, but also attempt to pull out some of the complex thoughts I’ve had about the album as a starting point for you all to begin parsing the layers of questions asked by the album. But of course, first we need to talk about brony music.
Creekflow
Like most parts of the brony fandom, brony music originated on 4chan, meaning that its history has been relegated to screenshots and folklore. However, the credit for creating the scene as we know it is often given to Eurobeat Odyssey, or as the name she used for her pony music, Eurobeat Brony. Eurobeat Brony, who was already releasing Touhou fan music and had contributed tracks to the overlooked eurobeat/power metal album Most Extreme Ultimate Thunder, released a remix of the song “Evil Enchantress” from episode 9 of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. This inspired a craze of more remixes of the show’s songs, and people even started releasing original music. Like “Discord!” And some other people, notably The Living Tombstone, started releasing remixes of the original music, like his remix of “Discord!”It follows that the emphasis on remixes found in the early brony music culture would lead the scene to being associated with EDM and Dubtrot [Translation: Brony Dubstep.] And with the help of accessible music making tools and the popularization of modern distribution websites like Youtube and Bandcamp and the abandonment of archaic websites like Myspace, brony Music boomed larger than anyone could have expected. All the eyes focused on the scene made it a fantastic place for fledgling musicians to get eyes on their work and learn the ropes. And even with the influx of people making generic electronic music, hoping that they too could become #HorseFamous [Translation: Ironic term for being popular in the brony Fandom,] the scene continued to gain fresh, creative, and interesting voices in every genre imaginable through 2015.
Obviously, one of those voices was Vylet Pony, and one thing you can always say about her is that she’s ambitious. In a Sonemic interview, Trixie stated that she always aimed above #HorseFame and wanted to be signed to Monstercat, and to have her music breach the containment of the brony fandom. Even in her earliest work, she was making concept albums with intricate stories told from the point of view of many different OC’s. As the Brony music scene faded and the big names left the fandom to make original work (or shamelessly jumped to the Five Nights at Freddy’s or Undertale fandoms), less new blood entered the system, and fan interest in both the show and the music tapered off, Vylet Pony remained one of the few names people talked about in a post 2015 pony music world. As early as 2016 or 2017, it felt like she was starting to feel synonymous with modern pony music.
Of course, the amount of Vylet fans who were paying attention to horse music is smaller than one would expect, and for most people 2021 is the first time they heard of Vylet Pony. Cutiemarks (And the Ties that Bind Us) was an explosion of ears on Vylet’s music, and loads of non-bronies were tuning in to see what all the hubbub was about. And for every person who listened and was converted to a Vylet fan or even sometimes the My Little Pony fandom as a whole, there was someone else who loudly didn’t get what the hype was or a handful who hated seeing “fake music” clogging up the rateyourmusic charts and general discussion spaces. The level of backlash one gets when their niche music leaves their target audience is rough on anypony, especially someone who is as engaged with their fandom as Vylet is. As such, her newfound popularity has colored the background of the music she’s released since. Her 2022 album Can Opener’s Notebook: Fish Whisperer was about the joy of music and served as a reminder to herself about why she makes music in the first place, picking her up from all the comments that called her music “fake.”. Carousel (An Examination of the Shadow, Creekflow, and its Life as an Afterthought), which was supposed to be her second 2022 album, dropped in early February of 2023, and while they are never clearly addressed, many of the same frustrations with the larger audiences’ reactions to her albums remain hanging in the air.
Life
“Carousel” is an album about a pegasus musician — Vylet — and her shadow. Aren’t you excited? To join us for an adventure like none other. A foray through dreams and chaos! What will happen when Vylet discovers a magical carousel at the Ponyville fair? Aren’t you excited to find out?-【Full Album】Carousel (2023) [Epilepsy Warning] video description
While there is no official division between the front half of the album and the back half, I find it helpful to split my listens of this album in two. Not only because 78 minutes is a lot of music for one sitting, but also because there are very clear sonic and thematic differences between the front half and the back half. What I mean by that is that the front half of this album has all the bops! If you’re the type to want to throw your hooves [Translation: hands] in the air and dance, this is going to be the side for you. It’s got the Nu-jack Swing, it’s got the dubstep! You’re telling me this album has drum, AND bass!?
My personal favorite song on the album, “Constellation Cradle,” is also the thesis statement of the first half. The first quarter of the song sets the scene, filled with staccato stabs of synths and popping bass, it gives the feeling both of floating but also of traveling too fast to take in anything you’re seeing. It’s you traveling to the so-called Constellation Cradle, the land of stars, and where they are born. Once there you slow down and settle into a funky trip hop groove as the “moar bass” that you’re here for floods your ears, and finally Vylet explains how you too can become #HorseFamous. Her answer is, of course, to never innovate or challenge your audience, copy ideas from the show so much that they’re ground to mush, and play to nostalgia as much as you can. Not only is it a scathing critique of other musicians in the scene who were one trick ponies, playing their one song until it needed to go to a cemetery, and the musicians who failed to put themselves into their art and wondered why their new song wasn’t doing very well when they forgot to add something pony related to the title, it also feels like a deconstruction of the meme culture as it evolves in fandom. At a certain level, it almost felt like brony culture had become just the repetition of meaningless catchphrases on catchphrases on catchphrases, and to be honest, that’s not very 20% cooler of you! [Translation: It was funny when Rainbow Dash said 20% cooler in the show in 2010. It’s still funny in 2024 right?]
In other songs on the front half, there is a sense of irony created by Vylet seemingly following her own bad advice. “Crush Kill Destroy Swag,” is named after a catchphrase taken from the popular fan animation, Swag.MOV [Warning: The humor of this video can very politely be called “edgy” and as such I do not think it will gel very well with the tastes of the average person reading this.] “Bass Cannon'' is the dubtrot song of the album, harking back to the general dubstep meme of having a bass cannon, but this was popular in the pony community not only because dubstep was, but because Pinkie Pie [Translation: The pink horse who throws parties] had a party cannon in the show. Naturally, with the fandom’s obsession with background ponies, the white horse with a spiked mane, headphones, and dark purple tinted glasses quickly became a dubstep DJ and got the fannames “DJ Pon-3,” her stage name, and “Vinyl Scratch,” her real name, both of which were eventually canonified. Over time, Nowhacking became the default Vinyl Scratch voice actor in the fandom, and look who’s featured on this track! “Brohoof” [Translation: Brofist [Translation: Fist bump]] is an example that draws from the show itself, an upbeat and very danceable take on Nu-Jack Swing that features classic samples of Pinkie Pie’s lines in season 1 of My Little Pony, including sampling “Giggle at the Ghosties,” the song in the pilot episode that had been covered and remixed to death by the fandom by 2012. And while it’s an absolute joy to just blast this song and not think about it, if you pay attention to the lyrics, you’ll find that it’s this album’s “Just Dance” or “Chained to the Rhythm.” The lyrics of the self proclaimed “Every single classic and every single favorite. ALL. IN. ONE!” detail Pinkie Pie getting possessed by an evil spirit and losing herself to the bass.
Now, writing a song where people’s souls are stolen by the concept of dubstep is extremely dark, and can very easily be read as a sharp condemnation of the entire brony music scene, but Trixie never comes across as mean spirited, and even goes out of her way to show her love for the fandom. For one, “How to Talk to Your Shadow” features small samples of “Discord Remix”- The Living Tombstone, “Everypony’s Bangin” - Silva Hound*, “Love is In Bloom Remix” - Archie*, and “Parties with Pinkie'' - Alex S, which she includes ostensibly because she likes the songs, even though it would be easy to argue they’re all songs that are being critiqued by the more dagger tongued segments of the album. Not only is “Pony Rock” is a stealth remix of brony classic trance song, “Sunshine, Celery Stalks,” by Pinkiepieswear, “Antonymph'' off of Cutiemarks has allusions to the other popular Pinkiepieswear song, “Flutterwonder,” creating a pattern of references to this particular artist. For as trite as I made “Bass Cannon '' sound, the song breathes new life into the tired format by replacing the tedious EDM buildups with bossa nova verses. The fandom was never a monolith, and while it’s clear Vylet was venting her frustrations with many aspects of the fandom, she also goes out of her way to both honor it and resurrect the ideas from it that she liked.
*I’m actually a fake brony and was unable to place two of these samples myself. Huge shout-out to RoxyBurrows on rate your music. If you’re reading this, I hope your insane talent to recognize brony music from 1 second clips will make you famous in the future.
Shadow
Is it so fruitless- Crush Kill Destroy Swag
To chase a shadow?
When nightfall comes
And it seems to grow?
As stated previously, this album doesn't officially have halves, but outside of my own personal preference, the official YouTube upload does have a short animation between “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” and “The Carrion Child,” before displaying a different image for most of the back half of the upload. As such, I feel no trepidation in calling those two songs the transition point between the first half of the album and the second, as they contain elements signature to both halves. Even though “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” is tied to the fandom and is technically a genre of dance music, ie Drum and Bass, the song is far less of a bop than you would expect. Instead of going for the Pendulum style hybrid DnB that most people would expect, or even the trans woman who makes Serial Experiments Lain her whole personality style atmospheric DnB, Vylet kicks the genre back to it’s 90s roots for a darker, Ed Rush inspired Neurofunk that brings the album down from bopville and into quiet contemplation city. Don’t worry that this mood doesn’t stick around for very long, it will be back. “The Carrion Child '' opens up with a dance break that sounds like it should be on the first half of the album, but quickly shifts to the tone and sound palette that we’ll expect from the rest of the album. Distorted guitars whip out and transform the song into an up-roaring 80s metal song that dissipates into a tense, industrial ambience as you can feel the thoughts racing around.
Both of these songs are also the turning point for the album from a lyrical perspective, with the criticism formerly reserved for the fandom at large beginning to turn inward. This album, like many Vylet albums, tells a complete story if you’re willing to dig for it, and while there are lyrical mentions to the story up until this point, most of it has been hidden in the video descriptions on YouTube, making them easy to miss for anyone who uses other streaming services. To summarize, Vylet Pony goes to the fair, gets freaked out by her reflection with glowing sapphire eyes, and chases it into the hall of mirrors. “Crush Kill Destroy Swag” sees Vylet chasing her reflection and finally giving up and destroying every mirror she can get her scythe-shaped guitar on, while “The Carrion Child” is Vylet meeting Creekflow, her shadow, face to face, and being taken into the mirror world where all the smashed mirrors are headless corpses.
“Hush” is the mirrored “Constellation Cradle:'' the true thesis of the album. The first half of the song is Creekflow unleashing a string of jabs about Vylet’s true character. A large insinuation is that Vylet is as about, if not more about, the fame and money than everyone she spent the first half of the album complaining about. She doesn’t buy Vylet’s act, proclaiming that “Saints will turn to sinners, and sinners to apologists once the cash has dried.” She’s no better than anyone else despite the so-called moral superiority she stakes. And this raises the question if Vylet has stagnated and if she’s really pushing herself and her audience. Obviously Vylet has found new genres to incorporate in her music and new stories to tell, but on the other hand, even when “The whore's found a new position, the old angler reels a new technique, a bravest strike to the easel covers red the walls of a finely furnished home, teaching a new dog new tricks,” everyone involved is still doing the same thing. Everyone is still a dog learning tricks. Even the new tricks are still meaningless, and Creekflow argues that it’s time for Vylet to hush: to stop making music.
It’s obvious that Vylet’s shadow is her own self-doubts, caused by the never ending and unanswerable questions every artist will face about their own work, but the allegory is pulling double duty. On top of being Vylet’s negativity, the nagging obstructionist thoughts, Creekflow is also the legacy of Vylet Pony. As Vylet gains more and more attention and has more and more people listen to her music, more and more people will recognize her, talk about her, and ultimately dictate who Creekflow is. Even though most of the rant is directed towards Trixie, I found myself getting cuts in as an audience member. “Would they miss you dearly, as I grow in your spotlight…Are you the sum of all which the light graces, or will you be valued by the outlines you leave?” is a direct call out of the inherent parasociality of listening to music and being a fan of it. Even as a fairly big fan, enough to have a Vylet Pony flair on this subreddit and be writing this piece, I have literally never interacted with her and I know literally nothing about her other than what she puts forth in her music and a handful of interviews. If, in the end, all we are is the impact we leave on others, and most people will only be impacted by Vylet Pony by her music, a deeply personal statement to be sure but one that by definition can never capture her essence, that means most of her impact will be done by her outlines. What she’ll be known as is “a picture of the picture, of the picture, of the picture, of the picture.”
A fun little tidbit is that during the prerelease cycle, Carousel was teased as a nine track album, with titles and runtimes revealed for tracks 1-7 and “Hush,” leaving “The Carrion Child” a complete mystery and having speculation run rampant* about it only for the album to release with 5 more songs than promised. While this was mostly just Vylet being a silly pony, it is fun to think about the world where this is the end of the album: cut off before the characters have time to think or grow, leaving the entire burden on the listener. Vylet still has a lot to say on the matter, but she still gives you the time to work things out on your own before continuing.
“Examining an Afterthought” is the follow up to the emotional gauntlet of the last few songs, and a super creative way to let everything sink in. The song itself is an ambient piece set to a recording of various listeners who have called into a radio station to talk about themselves. But none of that matters. The radio station is faint, and drifts into the background as the music takes it over—not in an overpowering way, but to show the dissociation that happens when you’re lost in thought—background noise so that you don’t have to think about your problems but you know that you’re not going to actually pay attention as your thoughts are just too powerful. And you start thinking, You know, now that we know that the shadows are our legacies, it paints the scene of Vylet destroying all the mirrors in the funhouse in a different light. As a real person, she’s multifaceted; you could even say that light hits her from all directions and leaves different shadows. But each person will only have one thought on her and her impact on their life. And people’s impressions of others are so easily changed. Every move she makes will change the way someone sees her, ruining tons of potential ways the Vylet Pony that exists in their mind could exist. The light of fame is scrutinizing. Everything Trixie has done and will continue to do in the future is herself breaking the mirrors—Creating the carrion that her final legacy will grow out of.
*My Personal guess was a cover of “A Turn for the Worse” by Tarby, another notable** fan song about Carousels.
**This song is only notable to me and other progressive metal heads in the fandom but I believe Tarby was fairly well known with fandom musicians so I maintain it was possible.
Carousel
Studying every reflection- A Flair for the Dramatic
Maybe I care too much.
“A Flair for the Dramatic” serves as Vylet’s rebuttal to Creekflow, to herself, on top of being one of my personal favorites musically. The verses of the song grow out of “Examining An Afterthought,” featuring a nice bass hit with some piano that lay the basis for the song before the vocals, drums, and effects come in, only to lead to the chorus going full noise pop and becoming the loudest part of the album, 2nd only to the bridge. This all adds to the affirmation of Vylet’s character, that she’s melodramatic and likes making big and loud music and probably always will, and if it plays into herself why does the shadow of the work matter that much. Notably, “Flair” never answers any questions asked by Creekflow, explicitly stating that it has no answers and probably never will. In a similar moment of reflection, the song “Carousel” states that the best you can do is never sink down to the level of anger your self-doubts and self-hatred want you to do. You beat the questions of uncertainty by doubling down on yourself because it’s all you can do, and it works…for now.
This seems to be enough for Creekflow to sulk off, and Vylet continues to wander through the fairground, and around two minutes into “Carousel,” we get some of the most visceral sonic imagery imaginable. Precisely two minutes and twenty five seconds into the track, all the lights dramatically flare on, emphasizing the now active carousel, what was once the most extravagant and spectacular attraction in all of Ponyville. The entire passage of music is simultaneously majestic and goosebumps-inducing, despite only lasting about 10 seconds, but it is 10 seconds that will grab your attention every time you hear the song, and leave perhaps the sharpest impression of any moment on the entire album.
Vylet chooses to go on a few rides on the Carousel, and uses that time to think about how it’s an apt metaphor for everything this story has been about so far, and we can finally discuss the elephant (and the giraffe, and the zebra, and the many many horses) in the room. On the most obvious level, the carousel represents cycles. How you can move through life but always be in the same spot. Your self doubts and fears will never go away, you just push them out of the way the best you can, but they’ll still be blocking your path once you travel another 360 degrees. Of course, there’s also the cycle of Vylet’s music, and the idea that she’s never growing as an artist. That she’s glued to the horses on which she, her persona, and her music sit.
But also, people chose to ride carousels! People enjoy the spectacle brought about by them, including the music and the horses! Ponies enjoy some routines, and doing the same things over and over. How many times has that one guy we know re-watched the same TV show over and over? Life is like that too. We don’t always have to be pushing ourselves to do something new to make life worth living, we can get joy by slowly walking in circles and just enjoying the nature around us.
Of course, we don’t have to stay on the carousel.
There’s an entire world awaiting us once we leave the carousel filled with endless possibilities that are only ours to explore, when we’re ready. If we’re ever ready.
At the end of the album, Vylet gets off the Carousel and finds Creekflow to reconcile with her, now content with her own duality. Despite being opposites, Vylet and Creekflow are also the same. Just like the choice to stay on the carousel or to leave it. The future, the question of if Vylet and Creekflow will continue to get along or if they’ll continuously fight and break up, or even the question of if there’s a difference is left to our imagination.
In the end, the choice to leave the carousel won’t be ours. Perpetual motion doesn’t exist, and machines fail. The carousel will break down eventually and we’ll be forced to get off.But who knows.
Maybe one day a mechanic will come back and fix it.
Examining an Afterthought
- Have you listened to Vylet Pony before, and if so what are some of your favorite songs and albums?
- Carousel is an album that not only explores many different sound and styles, it tries to mash up and transition smoothly between many wildly juxtaposed types of music. What are some of your favorite styles or transitions between styles that appear on Carousel?
- Carousel is a dense and symbolic record that is meant to be open to interpretation. By the nature of the album I missed quite a lot of the meaning, and there are many points where I’m sure other listeners will disagree with me on the meaning I did talk about. What are some such points that you think I should have mentioned or am wrong about?
- Vylet Pony is very prolific as well, having not only released Carousel in January, but also I Was the Loner of Paradise Valley in December, and several loosies and singles throughout the year. Was Carousel your favorite of her 2023 albums, and are there any single’s she’s put out this year that have styles you’re excited for her to continue exploring and double down on in the future?
- While we’re here, do you have fond memories of any classic brony songs that you think still bop after all these years?