Summary: Can you handle the flirty demon?
Read my guidelines before you perform this script!
[Crackling sounds of fire]
[Softly, almost a whisper] Well, well, what do we have here? It looks like someone’s found their way into my domain. How intriguing. [chuckles lightly] Don't be frightened, darling. I don't bite... unless you ask me to.
[pauses, letting the tension build, then speaks in a low, soothing voice]
You must be wondering why I've summoned you here. Let me guess... curiosity got the better of you? Or perhaps you were seeking something... more? Whatever the reason, you're here now, and that's all that matters.
[sound of soft footsteps approaching, then a light rustling as VA settles into a chair nearby]
Look at you, sitting there so quietly. Are you nervous? There's no need to be. I promise, I'll be gentle. After all, we're just going to have a little... chat. [laughs softly]
You see, I've been watching you. Oh, don't be alarmed. It's not as sinister as it sounds. I've simply... took an interest in you. Your dreams, your desires, your little secrets. They're all so fascinating to me.
[pause, then a slight smirk in the voice]
But, my dear, I must say, you've been quite naughty lately. Haven't you? Oh, don't bother denying it. I know everything. [chuckles] But don't worry, I'm not here to punish you. No, no. I'm here to... correct you. Gently, of course.
[sound of a soft sigh, then VA’s voice drops to a more intimate whisper]
Let's start with that little incident last week. You remember, don't you? The one where you thought no one was watching? You were so confident, so sure of yourself. But you forgot one thing... I was there. Watching.
[teasingly] What were you thinking, my dear? Did you believe you could get away with it? That no one would notice? Tsk, tsk. Such a bold move. But that's what I like about you. That daring spirit.
[pause, then a soft chuckle]
But even the bold need guidance. A gentle hand to steer them back on the right path. And that, my sweet, is why I'm here. To remind you of the boundaries. To gently... scold you.
[sound of VA shifting in the seat, the rustle of fabric]
You know, there’s something quite intoxicating about a little discipline. A reminder that actions have consequences. That’s what makes life so... thrilling, don’t you think?
[pauses, letting the words sink in]
Now, tell me, how do you feel? Sitting here, listening to me? Do you feel the tinge of guilt? Or perhaps... something else? [chuckles] It's okay. You can be honest with me. I promise, this stays between us.
[sound of VA leaning closer, the voice becoming more intimate]
You see, there's a certain pleasure in being corrected. In knowing that someone cares enough to notice, to guide you. It's a delicate dance of power and submission. And my dear, you dance so beautifully.
[pause, then a soft, teasing whisper]
But don't get too comfortable. We still have much to discuss. Your little... missteps. And how we can avoid them in the future. Together.
[sound of a soft exhale, then VA’s voice returns to its soothing tone]
So, let's begin. Tell me, why did you do it? What drove you to act so recklessly? Was it the thrill? The danger? Or something deeper?
[pause, allowing the listener to ponder]
It's okay, take your time. I want to understand. To help you. Because, despite your mischief, there's something... endearing about you. Something that makes me want to... keep you.
[sound of VA’s voice dropping to a whisper again]
But remember, my dear, even in my fondness for you, I won't tolerate disobedience. So, let’s find a way to keep that beautiful spirit of yours in check. Shall we?
[pauses, then a soft, almost purring tone]
Good. Now, let’s dive into those beautiful little secrets of yours. One by one. And see how we can turn that mischief into something... more productive.
[sound of a light, playful giggle]
Are you ready, my sweet? Because this is going to be... fun.
[softly] Let’s start with the first incident, shall we? Last week, in the middle of the night. You thought you were alone, didn’t you? Sneaking around, trying to be so quiet. But I saw you.
[pauses, letting the tension build]
You were trying to take something that didn’t belong to you. Why? Was it the excitement? The forbidden nature of it? Tell me, what was going through that beautiful mind of yours?
[sound of a soft sigh]
I see. You couldn’t resist, could you? The temptation was too strong. I understand. But, my dear, you must learn control. Discipline. Otherwise, where will we end up? In chaos.
[teasingly] And we wouldn’t want that, would we?
[pause, then a soft chuckle]
No, we wouldn’t. So, here’s what we’re going to do. Every time you feel that urge, that temptation, I want you to think of me. Picture me, whispering in your ear. Reminding you of the consequences. Can you do that for me, darling?
[pause, waiting for a response]
Good. I knew you could. You’re so obedient when you want to be.
[softly] Now, let’s talk about the consequences. Because every action has one, doesn’t it? It’s only fair. You took something that wasn’t yours, so now, you must give something back.
[pauses, letting the weight of the words sink in]
What will you offer me, my dear? Your time? Your secrets? Your... obedience?
[sound of a soft, playful chuckle]
Yes, that sounds perfect. Your obedience. In exchange for your little misdeed, you will be mine for the night. You will listen, you will obey, and you will learn.
[teasingly] Do you agree to these terms?
[pause, waiting for a response]
Wonderful. I knew you would. Now, let’s begin your... lesson.
[softly] Close your eyes, my dear. Take a deep breath. In... and out. Good. Now, listen to my voice. Let it guide you.
[pauses, allowing the listener to relax]
You are in my domain now. Here, you follow my rules. And my first rule is... honesty. You must be honest with me. No secrets. No lies. Only the truth.
[pause, then a soft, soothing tone]
Tell me, what do you desire most? What is your deepest, darkest secret? The one you’ve never told anyone.
[sound of a soft sigh]
I see. That’s quite a secret. But don’t worry, it’s safe with me. And now that you’ve shared it, you are one step closer to redemption.
[teasingly] Doesn’t that feel good?
[pause, allowing the listener to respond]
Yes, it does. Now, for the second rule. You must trust me. Completely. Without hesitation. Do you trust me, my dear?
[pause, waiting for a response]
Good. Trust is essential. Without it, we are nothing. And my final rule... you must surrender. Surrender to me. To my will. To my guidance. Can you do that, my sweet?
[pause, waiting for a response]
Excellent. You are doing so well. I’m very proud of you.
[softly] You’ve done so well, my dear. Following my rules, obeying my commands. You’ve shown me that you can be trusted. That you can learn.
[pauses, letting the words sink in]
And for that, you deserve a reward. What would you like, my sweet? What is your heart’s desire?
[sound of a soft, playful giggle]
I see. You want... me. How delightful. And you shall have me. But remember, this is just the beginning. There are still many lessons to learn. Many rules to follow.
[teasingly] Are you ready for that?
[pause, waiting for a response]
Good. Because I have so much more to teach you. And I can’t wait to see how you grow. How you evolve. Under my guidance.
[softly] Remember, my dear, this is just the beginning. Our journey together is far from over. There will be more lessons, more rules, more... gentle scoldings.
[pauses, letting the anticipation build]
But for now…
[Chuckles to close the script]

First Previous
"Scargiver, this is Scathach." The Warmaster's voice came out of the Captain's wrist console. The wrist console looked the same as the ones they'd used in the Confederation, but it had been extensively modified to prevent anyone from hacking into it.
"Scathach, Mims." Captain Mims kept walking. They were almost to the bridge of the Encounter. "Go ahead."
"The Klaath are here."
"We know." Mims slapped a control panel. The door to the bridge slipped open. "The Federation called them, somehow."
"We saw the energy surge," the Warmaster informed him, "and we saw you disable the human ship. Do you intend to take up the hunt?"
The Oluken had roughly ten thousand Military ships in Tendril Sector. They were oddly designed, with glowing lines that shifted in strange patterns across their oblong hulls. Long metal tentacles sprouted from the ships, each tipped with some variety of energy cannon. Ten thousand ships was plenty for keeping order in a trading sector, but Yvian doubted it was enough to repel an Incursion.
"Hell yes," The Captain walked past the holodisplay, heading for the consoles at the far end of the bridge. "I never pass up an opportunity to kill the Klaath."
"I thought as much." The Warmaster grunted. "Have your Queenships protect the Gates. My Hunters will secure the stations. I've called reinforcements, and they will be here shortly." He gave a short, annoyed growl. "Someone will have to speak with the Oluken before they soil themselves."
Mims pointed at Lissa as he took a seat in front of the center console. "I'm on it," she acknowledged, taking the console to his left.
"Alert," said Kilroy. "Klaath clusters detected in Aldara sector."
"Of course they are," Mims gritted his teeth. He commed the Warmaster. "Lissa's taking care of the Oluken. We're having," he pointed at Kilroy, "two Queenships jump to each Gate. That should be more than enough."
"Affirmative," Kilroy acknowledged.
"The rest are coming with me," the human continued. "There's another Incursion at Aldara."
"Aldara?" Yvian could hear the Warmaster's raised eyebrows. "If the humans want to throw their planet away, let them."
"I can't do that." Mims took his hand off the comm and pointed at Yvian. "Systems check."
Yvian nodded and took the console to his right. She started a diagnostic routines. Scarrend squatted on his haunches next to her, pulling up a sensor display on his console.
"You can and you should," Scathach disagreed. "The humans are using the Klaath as a diversion. We're bound to defend the Oluken by treaty, but wasting forces on an uninhabited world is foolish."
"I know." Mims pulled up flight control on his console. The Random Encounter was nestled up against the massive hull of the Monster In Paradise. He eased the ship away from the Peacekeeper Queen and raised the shields. "I'm not asking you or the Empire to help. The Peacekeepers and I will be enough."
"Perhaps." The Vrrl allowed. "Unless the humans are dividing our forces in preparation for an attack."
"It's possible." Mims shrugged. "But I think this diversion's for something else. I'll explain later. I've got Klaath to kill."
"Then kill them here," Warmaster Scathach voiced. "Don't let the humans dictate your actions, Scargiver. Protecting their world is an act kindness that will come with a cost."
"This isn't kindness," Mims told him. "It's spite. The Klaath will never have Aldara. Not while I breathe. Can I count on you to take care of things here?"
Yvian's diagnostic programs finished. "All systems green," she reported.
"Foolish." The Warmaster chuffed in resignation. "But I suppose it can't be helped. Go defend your territory human, even if it's not your territory anymore. The Vrrl Starfang Empire will take care of things here."
"Thank you," said Mims.
"Do not thank me, Scargiver," Scathach chided. "The Oluken are of use to the Empire. An attack on them is a challenge to us, and challenges are answered with tooth and claw. We are the Apex."
"Fair enough." Mims pulled up a Nav console and entered the coordinates for Aldara Sector. "May Fortune favor you on the cusp of The Crunch."
The Warmaster grunted. "May your prey be worthy of the hunt." He ended the transmission.
"Our weapon systems are fully functional," Scarrend reported. "Shields are still charging. They will be at full in twenty three minutes."
"We'll go when they're full," said the Captain. "Kilroy, I want two Queenships at every Gate in Aldara. Have Admiral Zhukov send in half a million Stinger units, too. I want half of those protecting the planet. The rest will break off into groups of a thousand and go hunting."
"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy objected, "we only have eight hundred twenty three thousand and four Peacekeeper Stinger Units. Sending that many to Aldara will greatly reduce the defenses of New Pixa Sector."
"Just do it, Kilroy," Mims ordered. "We've still got forty Queens and millions of convectional ships. If we get hit with more than they can handle, half a million Stingers won't make that much difference anyway."
"Affirmative." Kilroy hesitated. His eyes flashed purple before returning to the red of combat. "Big Daddy Mims, there is no reason for you to go to Aldara yourself. Peacekeeper units will be sufficient."
"No, Kilroy," Lissa disagreed. "We have to go." Yvian nodded her agreement. She knew the man's history, too.
"This ship is a standard Federation built gladiator," the Peacekeeper reminded them. "It will have negligible impact on an Incursion, and is at significant risk of being destroyed."
"I know," the Captain snapped. Kilroy's eyes flashed blue. Mims took a breath. "Sorry, Kilroy. I know the Encounter's not built for this. I know the Peacekeepers can handle this better than I can." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's Aldara. The last time the Klaath came there I... I can't leave it alone. I have to go. I have to make sure they can't take anything else."
The machine left his console, eyes still blue. He walked over to Mims and put a hand on his shoulder. "This unit understands." He returned to his station, eyes flicking back to crimson. "Aldara will be protected. The Klaath will be destroyed. We will be sufficient."
"We will be sufficient," the Captain echoed.
"This is foolish," Scarrend objected. "You are throwing away Peacekeeper lives for sentiment."
"You're not wrong," the human admitted. He tilted his head, thinking. "Though to be fair, we'd probably be sending them anyway. A chance to capture more Klaath Queens is too good to pass up."
"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed.
Yvian pulled up a sensor display. Tendril Sector had a sizeable solar system. Lots of planets, and three hefty asteroid belts. None of the planets were habitable, but there were plenty of resources for mines and manufacturing. The sector doubled as a trading hub, and there were nearly a million stations scattered throughout the system. Most of the stations were unarmed. It was something Yvian had expected growing up in the Confederation, but now that she'd seen more of the galaxy unarmed stations struck her as a terrible idea.
Despite the large number of stations, there were only a few hundred thousand ships in the sector. Mostly unarmed Oluken cargo haulers. Yvian assumed anyone who had a jumpdrive had already escaped, leaving the rest of those poor souls to flee to the nearest station and pray that the Elders would drop shields long enough to let them dock. There were also a few hundred ships of the Vrrl Starfang Empire circling a few of the trading posts, gunning down any Klaath that came close. Several dozen vessels of the Pixen Technocracy were doing the same.
Half a million Vrrl capitol ships were dividing into smaller fleets and heading for the stations. The Priderender had already left the formation with an escort of four battlecruisers. More Vrrl were pouring out of each of the Gates, with fighter class Hissiths and Clawwings undocking from battlecruisers and running for the farthest stations at maximum acceleration. None of the Vrrl bothered avoiding the Klaath. Nor did they seek them out. They just moved to their destinations, smashing anything stupid enough to get in their way.
There were roughly fifty thousand Klaath Klusters so far, but more were appearing every second. Each Kluster was a sphere, made up of twenty Raiders grouped around a single Klaath Fighter and fused together. Most of them would drift aimlessly through the void until they came within a few hundred kilometers of a ship or a station. Then the Klusters would erupt, the ships separating and zooming in for the kill. Other Klusters gathered together, forming circles of spinning ships. Space rippled within the circles, opening portals to allow Corvettes, Frigates, and the dreaded Destroyers into the sector.
Two Peacekeeper Queenships were coming out of Tendril Sector's East, South, and North Gates. The Queens would take half an hour to exit the Gates completely, but that didn't stop them from putting their beam weapons to devastating use. The Queens concentrated their fire on the Klaath nearest the Gates. The Klaath didn't use Jumpgates, and destroying the Gates would be the first thing they tried. A few thousand Stinger units detached themselves from each of the Queens, switching their diffused anti-MAC weapons back to traditional long range beam cannons. They would circle around behind the Gates and kill any Klaath attacking from that direction.
The Monster in Paradise and one other Queenship stayed where they were, about two hundred thousand kilometers from the West Gate. Their Stinger units were launching as well. The Random Encounter idled within the Monster's shield bubble, staying protected until its own shields were charged.
The Oluken Military were doing what they could, where they could. All their ships were roughly frigate sized, about two thirds of a kilometer in length. They were fast, almost as fast as a Federation ship, and their shields were much stronger than Yvian expected. Their weapons were less impressive. Each ship had thirty two metal tentacles with cannons on the end, but they packed less punch then Confederation guns, far less than the humans and the Vrrl. The Random Encounter had more firepower, and it was just a fighter. The Oluken had been patrolling in groups of eight, and they were desperately trying to link up with each other or the Vrrl before the Klaath overwhelmed them.
Yvian moved to access the sensor reports of Aldara Sector, but a question from Scarrend interrupted her. "Shouldn't we be sending someone after the spy?"
"In the middle of all this?" Lissa gestured at the sensor display.
"We don't have to hunt her down ourselves," Scarrend pointed out. "A few dozen Peacekeeper units would be more than enough."
"There's no point," said the Captain. "The Peacekeepers let Myrsa get away on purpose."
"They did?" Yvian frowned at the machine.
"Think about it," said Mims. "A Peacekeeper unit's a walking lie detector. Do you really think they didn't know Myrsa was a spy? Or that she wasn't being monitored? There's no way she got to an unattended ship without them knowing."
"Affirmative," Kilroy agreed. "Peacekeeper units had to manufacture an emergency to explain why Myrsa Trin was unattended. The riots provided excellent cover."
"Ok, but... why?" Yvian frowned harder. "Why let her get away? Why let a spy work with Lissa at all?"
"I've got a better question." Lissa's tone was frosty. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"That was my call," said Mims. "You're an amazing person, Lissa, and I love you dearly, but you're not cut out for spycraft."
Lissa regarded the human with a glare so furious Yvian could see it through her helmet. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Mims returned her look with the seriousness it was due. "Lissa. If you knew Myrsa was a spy, would you have still made friends with her?"
"What? No!" The glare receded. "I wouldn't have let her work for me at all."
"Exactly," said the human. "It's standard practice to keep track of known spies. If our enemies have a spy in place they're less likely to try sneaking in another one, and it lets us feed false intel and uncover other spies. It's good spycraft, but it only works if they don't know their cover's blown. You're smart, beautiful, and a born leader, but you don't have it in you to pretend to be someone's friend when you're not. Not for long, at least. If we told you about Myrsa, she'd know you were on to her within a day."
"That's..." Lissa started. "I could... No." She sighed. "You're right. I don't have to like it, though."
"Intelligence is a dirty business," said the Captain. "No one likes it."
"Ok, but why'd we let her go?" Yvian came back to the matter at hand. "Why give the humans their spy back?"
"Good question," said Mims. "Kilroy?"
"Myrsa Trin has gathered extensive intelligence on our capabilities," Kilroy answered. "The information she has acquired implies that we are considerably more powerful and dangerous than we actually are. This will increase the likelihood the meatbags will surrender. More importantly, Myrsa Trin will give the humans access to a Lucendian crystal implant."
"What good will that do them?" asked Scarrend. "The only Lucendian ship outside of New Pixa is the child yoked to their anti-tech ship, and that specimen is too small and weak for the humans to pilot."
"Negative," said the machine. "There is one other Lucendian vessel outside of our custody. A vessel with the same capabilities as the fallen Skygem."
Another Skygem? Oh. Oh, Bright Lady. "Blingy," Yvian breathed. She'd handed the ship to the Xill shortly after getting her implant. She'd known the ship was alive. She hadn't realized just how sapient the crystal ships were, but she'd known she was alive. She'd known, and she handed her over anyway. Condemned Blingy to torture and experimentation at the hands of the machines. It might be the worst thing she'd ever done. "You're talking about Blingy."
"Affirmative," Kilroy confirmed. "The ship known as Blingy is still in the custody of the Xill. Specifically, the ship is located at Hub 14, under Reba's control. It is not possible for Peacekeeper units to retrieve the vessel without provoking a war with the Xill. Nor is it likely Exodus the Genocide can convince Consensus to return the ship to us if they succeed in defeating Reba."
"But Reba might give the ship to the humans," Yvian guessed.
"Especially if it'll help screw us over," Lissa added.
"Affirmative," said Kilroy. "Without a functioning Lucendian vessel, the Pixen Technocracy has no way to counter the Vore when they return. We cannot retrieve Blingy from the Xill, so we must take Blingy from the humans."
"A dangerous play," Scarrend remarked. "I have seen what these ships are capable of. If the humans have one when we do not..."
"They might be able to win," said Lissa. "And they know it. Why else would they do..." she gestured at her sensor display. "All this?"
"It's a big risk," Mims agreed. "But I think it's one worth taking. Good work, Kilroy. Tell the other units I'm impressed." He glowered down at his console. "I just wish... What the hell?"
Yvian checked her own display. The Klaath were leaving. Fast. Klusters circled up, opening portals to take the bigger ships out of the system. Those Klusters not forming portals disappeared, going back to wherever they came from. Raiders and Fighters still mindlessly shot at whatever targets they'd found, but the rest of the Klaath were leaving. In a few more minutes they'd all be gone.
"I've never heard of the Klaath just leaving." Yvian could hear Lissa's frown.
"We've never seen an Incursion without a habitable planet either," said Scarrend. "Maybe they figured out there's nothing here but gas giants and barren rocks."
"We get Klusters in uninhabited sectors all the time," said Mims. "Usually just a couple, but I saw a couple thousand pop in at Trinog Sector a few years back. They don't leave. They just float around until the bastards starve to death or someone kills them."
"Big Daddy Mims," Kilroy spoke up. "The Klaath are leaving Aldara Sector as well."
"What the hell?" Mims repeated himself. He typed into his console. Yvian followed his example, pulling up the sensor feed being relayed from the ships in Aldara Sector. It was just as the Peacekeeper said. The Klaath were leaving.
"Strange," Scarrend remarked, "but I suppose we shouldn't complain when a problem solves itself."
"No." The Captain's shoulders were taught. "It can't be that easy. Not with the Klaath." He was silent for a moment, head bowed, breathing slowly. His shoulders relaxed slightly, and he raised his head. "Kilroy, I want everything we can spare at Aldara. Right now."
"What do you mean everything?" Lissa asked.
"I mean fucking everything." The Captain was grim. "Every ship, every weapon platform, every fucking gun Zhukov can spare."
"Are you experiencing a hunch, Big Daddy Mims?" A tinge of purple crept into the red of Kilroy's eyes.
It was another scary thing about the humans. Premonitions. Hunches. Mims claimed there was nothing supernatural about it. Just his subconscious processing information, a benefit born of experience and the brain's tendency towards pattern recognition. Yvian wasn't sure it was that simple, but she did know one thing. When the Captain had a bad feeling, things tended to go very bad, very quickly.
"I don't know. Could be PTSD." Mims clenched his fists. "But better safe than sorry."

Author's Note:
7700 words, broke Reddit's character limit, so you know the drill. Will be split into two parts, both posted today. Enjoy!
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"Stop! STOP!"
The terror in Kismet's voice rose higher as death drew nearer. He fled from Rob's grasping hand, but a Purge Divinity-infused fingernail managed to graze him, carving out a scoop of divine essence as if flaying a mortal's skin.
Kismet let out a screech as the Purging energy added to his growing collection of scars. A dozen small holes now dotted the surface of his mana-body, looking like he'd been pockmarked by wasting disease. Each wound represented a moment where the god had narrowly escaped with his life.
If those injuries had been inflicted by any other ability, then he could have rejuvenated himself in the time it took to blink. Purging energy was not so kind as that. It was purifying wrath in the shape of a Skill; their vengeance given form. Whatever divinity it touched, it extinguished.
As if cleansing the universe of a sickness that had infected it for far too long.
The BERSERKER continued his unrelenting advance. In response, Kismet threw up a frantic barrier of mana. It was strong enough to deflect one of Ragnavi's Annihilation beams–
And Rob blasted through it like paper mache. His charge sent broken shards of energy scattering across the divine realms. More mid-air rifts tore open, the HUMAN's aura strangling the surrounding area in a vice grip of power. Purge Divinity seemed to glow with light emanating straight from the pits of hell.
None of which was anywhere near as unnerving as the murder contained within his piercing gaze. When Kismet met Rob's eyes, he saw the end of eternity fast approaching.
The god's next barrier was just as frantic. However, this one was not comprised of mana, but of solid matter. Kismet summoned the hardest, most dense substance known to the mortal realms, then transmuted it into something that otherwise could only have been forged inside the heart of a dying star. It was many times more durable than the impossibly tough walls of an aberrant Dungeon.
So when Rob demolished it with a single punch, he actually had to put a bit of elbow grease into his windup.
Another wall materialized in front of him. He crushed it, then the one after, and the one after that, lashing out with bestial ferocity. The BERSERKER plowed through Kismet's hastily-built defenses like a bulldozer of fists and savagery. Rob was knocking them down as quickly as the god could make them, relishing the sensation of being able to vent his anger on targets that weren't fucking running away.
Then the twelfth wall fell – revealing a monstrous, spiky, fanged behemoth concealed behind.
Rob paused, momentarily taken aback at the sight of a mundane creature within the divine realms. 'Mundane' in relative terms, anyway. This monster was on par with a newborn Blight, radiating power that would have sent ordinary fighters sprinting for the hills.
It was also barely cognizant of its surroundings. The monster stared at him with unblinking, vacant eyes, just the tiniest glimmer of awareness present in its gaze. Rob noted that segments of its flesh were bubbling, as if the creature was fresh out of the oven and still needed to settle.
He couldn't help but feel a modicum of pity. This was yet another thoughtless creation, condemned to existence by an uncaring maker. Even monsters deserved better than that.
Rob caved the beast's head in before it could realize that it was alive. Pity was not the same as hesitation, and this was the only mercy he could afford to grant right now.
Didn't matter. Kismet's pawn served its purpose. In the brief instant that Rob spent getting over his initial surprise, the god had teleported to safety. He was already planning his next stunt that could buy him a few precious seconds of survival.
The HUMAN grimaced as he turned to give chase, unable to suppress the burgeoning sense of unease growing within his chest.
It almost didn't seem fair to feel that way. Rob knew he was winning – at least on the surface. Any outside observer would've bet their life savings on him, especially after the show of overwhelming superiority he'd just displayed. Kismet had been at a disadvantage before Never Forget Your Rage's recent upswing, and now it was no contest. Rob was confident that he would still be stronger even if the eight gods merged into one super-deity.
He also knew that he was living on borrowed time.
Whenever he moved, or activated a Skill, or even breathed...the sensation was there. Strength accompanied by incongruous frailty. Like background noise that kept getting louder with every action he took. His body felt close to pulling itself apart, as if his very molecules were a hairsbreadth away from coming undone.
It was different from Soul Instability. Whereas that threatened to collapse his soul, this frailty was an affliction of the flesh. The longer he fought, the more his physical form was at risk of popping like a balloon.
Such was the price of constraining godlike power within a mortal shell.
"Stay back!" Unaware of the turmoil fermenting in his assailant's mind, Kismet threw up his hands and...inverted...space? Rob didn't have a name for what he was seeing. Rather than stopping to puzzle out this latest brand of divine bullshit, he sent out a pulse of Purge Divinity, canceling whatever esoteric effect Kismet had been attempting to produce.
His Purging energy scraped against the divine realms like a cheese grater. Five rifts immediately tore open near both Rob and Kismet, with the god anxiously retreating from one that appeared just inches away from him. A low rumble echoed around them, and for a moment, they felt struck by an abrupt feeling of vertigo – until the realms gradually stabilized, righting once more.
For now.
Rob eyed the rifts with a detached, clinical gaze. An endless sea of mana resided behind them; the bedrock of the system itself. While he recognized that the rifts tearing open was bad news, he also couldn't really muster the energy to care. Between his overflowing rage, overtaxed body, and overburdened soul, minor details like the impending destruction of reality were hard to give much focus.
There was a way to fix all of that, of course. Rob couldn't outright deactivate Never Forget Your Rage – not without losing its bonus stats. But he could attempt to ease the storm of fury in his heart. By lessening his anger to more reasonable levels, Never Forget Your Rage would put less strain on both his body and the divine realms.
The notion forced a peal of hideous laughter to claw out of his throat. Lessen his anger? He'd have better luck trying to douse a volcano with a garden hose. No. For a wildfire that had grown this out of control, the only thing to do was stand aside and let it burn, burn, burn.
Until naught remained.
"I said stay back!" Kismet bellowed. He lifted his arms into the air. "Begone!" One moment later, Rob's vision was filled with scorching light. An apocalyptic geyser of mana burst forth from underfoot, intense and searing. It stripped the flesh from his bones in no time flat, powering through Almighty Resistance with pure, unmitigated violence.
And it still wasn't fast enough. Rob flickered a Purge Divinity shield for just an instant, allowing him to escape the geyser with his upper body – and most of his HP – intact. Lifesurge swiftly patched him up, leaving both combatants right back where they'd started.
Slowly, Kismet lowered his hands. They were shivering. "What are you?" he whispered. "Why are all my efforts in vain?"
To be honest, Rob was mildly impressed that Kismet had held on for this long. The god's combat efficacy was increasing as time passed, improving from panic-spamming teleports to more inventive maneuvers – as if he was learning how to fight on-the-job. He'd also stopped draining the other gods to supplement his power, having found an alternative source of fuel: mana seeping out from the sporadically-opening rifts.
It was the one silver lining to fighting an implacable BERSERKER so powerful that he fractured reality. Whenever Rob utilized Purge Divinity, more rifts opened up in the realms, and more mana leaked out from inside. The gods had invested that energy into the system millennia ago, and it typically would've been off-limits until they closed up shop and left Elatra. Kismet was making use of it now, absorbing the extra mana to strengthen himself, like a lifeline barely keeping him afloat.
The god's tenacity was...calling it 'admirable' would be going too far, but it did warrant a sort of begrudging respect. As someone who'd tangoed with multiple Blights, Rob knew what it was like to square off against a frenzied beast that could end him with a touch.
Being the scary one was a nice change of pace.
In exchange, Kismet had graciously donned the role of their battle's Combat Class user; fragile, outgunned, and pulling improvised maneuvers out of his ass for a chance at victory. The god could finally feel what it was like to be vulnerable. How exciting! Rob was more than happy to assist. Learning experiences such as these only came around once an eternity or so.
Flippancy aside – while Kismet still possessed room for improvement, this was the most that could be asked of a deity who hadn't seen combat in literal eons. His biggest fuckup had been taunting Rob in the wrong ways, but he couldn't have known about Never Forget Your Rage, that was an excusable oversight. By all other accounts, Kismet was performing adequately.
Even so...
"YoU aRE noTHinG."
The sound of Rob's voice caused two fresh rifts to open up. Kismet flinched, casting a teleportation spell out of pure reflex. Without pause, the HUMAN resumed his hunt.
Nothing. Perhaps that statement was hyperbole – yet it rang true nonetheless. While Kismet may have been a creature of supreme divinity, on the field of battle, his pedigree meant nothing. In the face of an implacable, unstoppable foe, his power was worth nothing. Very soon, he would be nothing, consigned to oblivion by Purging energy.
Rob couldn't help but unfavorably compare Kismet to the final Blight. Weren't these supposed to be two sides of the same coin? Each one-half of an original transcendent Will? Yet the Second Will had brought Rob to the edge of despair...and Kismet was fleeing like a cornered rodent. It was difficult to reconcile the two divinities as theoretical equals.
Although he knew that was an unfair comparison. Rob had fought the Blight before learning Limit Break and Never Forget Your Rage. Kismet wasn't weak.
The HUMAN was just far too strong.
If he rematched the Second Will today, he would beat it to death with his bare hands.
"Look at what you've wrought!" Kismet swept an arm out, gesturing towards some of the many rifts that Rob's presence was tearing open. "Do you understand what will transpire if you persist in this folly?! If the divine realms shatter, then so will all of Elatra! You are on the brink of destroying everything which you have striven to protect! Cease this–"
"CAN'T."
In a flash, Rob dashed forward and scooped out a chunk of the god's mana-body with Purge Divinity. Before he could do more, Kismet shrieked with pain and teleported away, leaving the BERSERKER to crush his prize between five clenched fingers.
"FoRCed mY HAnD." He located Kismet again. "NO GOING BACK."
Stopping wasn't an option. If the divine realms crumbled and Elatra imploded...well, that would be a faster end than what the gods had in store for its people. At least this way their deaths would be quick and hopefully painless – and his friends wouldn't be turned into Skills tortured for all eternity.
Still, Kismet did have a point. Destroying reality wasn't exactly the ideal outcome. There had to be a way to speed up the conclusion of their fight. Rob was certain he would win if given enough time, but he couldn't guarantee it would be before either his body or the divine realms collapsed.
{Ascend.}
Like a snake slithering through a minefield, Leveling High skirted past the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions raging within Rob's mind. He attempted to tune out its voice, yet Humanity's curse refused to be denied, the static loudening until he was compelled to respond. Quit distracting me, he snapped. In case you haven't noticed, I'm FUCKING. BUSY.
{You seek to ensure victory over those who rule above,} Leveling High continued, without missing a step. {As do I.}
Then sit back, shut up, and–
{Ignoring your deficiencies will not make them disappear. This body is...feeble. Incomplete. Unfit to wield the power contained therein. Like a polished sword attached to a brittle hilt, liable to snap in twain at any moment.}
Rob grit his teeth. He couldn't deny Leveling High's assertions. Normally he'd just tell it to piss off, but considering how much was at stake here...
With a feeling like he'd sat down to deal with the devil, Rob sighed. Then what do you propose? That we upgrade my body somehow? I don't think putting more points into Vitality would help, even if I had any to spare. Me being so juiced up on stats is half the problem.
It shook its head. {You have far surpassed the limitations of mortality. Strengthening your power further would be akin to pouring water into an overflowing cup.}
So we...what, increase the size of the cup?
Static akin to laughter echoed inside his head. {We do away with it entirely.}
An icy chill began creeping up Rob's spine, as if the cold hands of fate were working their way towards his neck. He recalled a system notification from days before – 'Your Race has morphed from Human (?) to: Ascending HUMAN'.
Not Ascended. Ascending.
Weeks-old memories came surging to the forefront. 'The Heartkiller is closer to our form of life than those you call friends,' the Blight-child of Elysium had once said. 'As long as you continue to live, eventually, you will become an existence with the power to crush the Others and free the Skills from their shackles. You are no longer one of the Ephemeral. Now, you are a cocoon, metamorphosing into something grander. When you emerge, you will be as the Eternal.'
The Blight-child had laughed at him, then. 'After joining us, preserving these worlds will no longer be your desire.'
Rob grimaced. Denied, he flatly told Leveling High. Whatever you're about to suggest isn't happening.
It scoffed at him. {Your prejudices blind you. Do you think the gods have need of physical bodies? Does it hinder them in any capacity? No – the opposite. By definition, infinity cannot be constrained. Discard this useless flesh, and your conquest of the divine realms is assured.}
Maybe you didn't hear me when I said–
{By all means. Spurn my counsel...and condemn your friends to death. Shall their lives be worth it, in the end?}
Rob sucked in air through clenched teeth.
{Ascend.} Leveling High purred with anticipation. {You are bound by a prison of meat, bone, and blood. Break free. Finish what has already begun. Gaze upon the tapestry of infinity in all its dreadful splendor. Seize victory not as a Human, but as a completed, transcendent HUMAN.}
With a scream to drown out the static, Rob chased after Kismet again and again. The god was in full-on panic mode, eschewing offensive attacks in favor of perpetual retreat, focused wholly on keeping the BERSERKER as far away as possible. He would teleport the instant that Rob laid eyes on him, frantically stalling for his life.
It was – quite unintentionally – providing evidence to Leveling High's claims. If Kismet was on the defensive, catching him would take time they might not have.
I... Rob narrowed his eyes. How would I finish Ascending, anyway? It isn't like I can just flip a switch and make it happen.
{Incorrect.}
He blinked. WHAT?
{You have long since achieved the qualifications for true godhood,} Leveling High explained, in a lecturing tone. {There is no milestone that remains necessary to achieve. Rather than needing to overcome some hurdle of strength or power, the obstacle barring your path is more...arbitrary. Self-imposed.}
Humanity's curse seemed to peer into his soul. When it spoke next, its voice was filled with disgust. {You remain mortal because you wish to do so – both consciously and subconsciously. The Ascension of a nascent deity has been obstructed by cheap sentimentality.}
Rob almost started an argument over its usage of 'cheap', but he exercised restraint, keenly aware that there was bigger fish to fry. Can't do anything about the subconscious. I am \not* activating Melancholy Resistance.*
{Nor should you,} Leveling High remarked, shuddering at the prospect. {A grand statement of intent will be sufficient to shift your mentality. I believe...yes.}
The static churned like a hive of buzzing wasps. {When you next tear off a piece of the leader god's mana...even if just a sliver...devour it. Gorge yourself on their essence.}
Bile threatened to rise to the top of Rob's throat. Seems excessive, he mused, trying and failing to keep his tone lighthearted. To become a god, I eat a god? Wouldn't that make me a divine cannibal?
{You ARE a cannibal.} Leveling High's voice wavered, its veneer of helpfulness slipping to reveal the madness that lay beneath. {What do you think you've been DOING for nearly a YEAR? You kill, ingest your prey's Experience, and MAKE THEIR POWER YOUR OWN. This world is one of consumption and parasitism – devouring a god's essence is merely a more HONEST variant of THE SAME actions.}
...You clearly weren't paying attention during Diplomacy's PR lessons. Rob pursued Kismet once again, pressing his fingernails into his palms when the god hurriedly teleported away. There is such a thing as being too straightforward. If you want people to listen to you, then maybe dress up your words so they don't sound so horrifying.
{BUT AM I WRONG?}
Rob had no answer to that.
Bolts of divine mana peppered his skin. Kismet had barely managed to squeeze an attack in-between his escapes. The bolts ricocheted off Rob's skin like ping-pong balls, leaving minor scrapes and nothing more. It wasn't anywhere close to bypassing Almighty Resistance and his massive HP pool.
Yet it also reminded him of the mana-spears that Kismet had sent towards the rest of Riardin's Rangers. His Party members only possessed a shared, diluted version of Almighty Resistance, and their HP was a fraction of his. If Kismet aimed another attack of that caliber at them...how many would perish, right then and there?
Was Leveling High correct? What point was there to sentimentality if it just got his friends killed?
In truth, Rob knew that it didn't really matter if he completed his Ascension. Based on what he had planned for himself after the gods were dead, little would change either way. Still...he also knew that Ascending would be a one-way trip. No take-backs. If he went through with it, a fundamental part of him would be irrevocably altered.
Something twinged in a corner of his mind. It wasn't Leveling High, or his rage, or any of the other emotions currently dominating his headspace. This was a familiar friend; perhaps Rob's #1 most trusted confidant since he'd first set foot in Elatra. One that had rarely ever steered him wrong.
Paranoia.
And at the moment, it was telling him to be very careful before jumping into the deep end.
Ten teleports.
{What?}
Give it ten more Kismet teleports, Rob said. If I haven't dealt him a serious injury by then....I'll do what I need to do. He grimaced as Kismet vanished before he'd even finished the thought. Ten starting now.
Leveling High's static quieted. It resembled a patron at a restaurant who'd ordered their meal, and was waiting patiently for the main course to arrive.
Rob didn't waste time being offended over its nonchalance. Free of distractions, he immediately swept his gaze across the divine realms, pinpointing his quarry in a micro-instant. The BERSERKER dashed forward, pushing his body as far as he could, layering Rampages on top of Dexterity that made the laws of physics want to curl up and weep.
Kismet was prepared. He'd drawn more mana from the fractured rifts, quickening his speed and reactions. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep his head above water, not yet outpaced by their continually escalating arms race.
The HUMAN struck, the god fled, and both were left in the same position as before.
{One.}
Rob turned on a dime, charging without needing to look. He'd heard the moment that Kismet's teleport ended. It afforded him a split-second head start.
A gravity well suddenly appeared below his feet, as if a miniaturized black hole was weighing him down. Apparently, Kismet had set it up ahead of time as a just-in-case trap. Rob pierced through the spell's area of effect before it could ramp up to something dangerous, but his pace was slowed by a hair in the process, and his prey escaped.
{Two.}
You know what? Screw this. Rob whirled away from Kismet's newest location and blasted straight towards one of the lesser deities that his Party members were fighting.
He'd been too hung up on getting even with a hated foe – when there were seven other juicy morsels for him to play with. This way, Kismet would either sit back and watch as his allies were massacred, or the god would be forced to act instead of running like a goddamn cowar–
Sense Mana alerted Rob to magic gathering behind.
Pivoting, he leapt into the air. Rob superimposed himself in front of Kismet, bodyblocking the rainstorm of destructive mana that was about to be unleashed upon Riardin's Rangers.
Due to his swift response, the attack was released early. A simple Purge Divinity shield prevented him from incurring any damage. Rob still felt no sense of triumph as the mana dissipated around him. He just wasn't fast enough to kill the lesser gods and protect his Party at the same time – or at least not fast enough that he should gamble their lives on it.
Kismet disappearing a moment later didn't help matters either.
{Three.}
Frontal assaults weren't guaranteed to succeed, and targeting the other gods was a no-go. Could he take Kismet by surprise? Increase his Dexterity?
Rob contemplated mining Never Forget Your Rage for more stats, but swiftly vetoed the idea. His body was already struggling to hold itself together. Putting additional strain on a shaky foundation seemed...unwise.
Plus – at the risk of eating crow in the near future – he didn't actually think it was possible to feel angrier at the gods than he was right now. Seriously, what was left?
He hated them for sending him to a fantasy deathworld. He hated them for tormenting his friends and family. He hated them for being partially responsible for the Blight. He hated them for what they'd done to Elatra and Earth. He hated them for all the lives they'd stolen. He hated them for being the living embodiments of indifference and cruelty. He hated that they fostered good PR among the people they oppressed. He hated how monsters of such craven hypocrisy were also immeasurably powerful. He hated the sensation of divine mana crawling on his skin. He hated the unsettling sound of their voices. He hated their bizarre formless appearances. He hated them for being pompous pricks. He hated whenever they tried to relate to him. He hated whenever they didn't.
Most of all, he hated that they were still alive.
Even if he found out that they'd personally antagonized him since birth or some petty nonsense like that, it wouldn't measure up to the litany of transgressions they'd committed thus far. The blazing inferno within his soul could burn no hotter. Should burn no hotter. For his sanity's sake, if nothing else.
Kismet teleported. It wasn't in response to anything. He'd merely anticipated some sort of action – and was then baffled afterwards when he noticed the rampaging BERSERKER standing quietly in deep thought.
{Four.}
Rob advanced. While he didn't have a plan yet, he'd also learned that if he gave Kismet the slightest amount of breathing room, bad things tended to happen.
Can any of my Skills give me an edge? Unfortunately, he didn't think so. As usual, his lack of ranged options was biting him in the ass when it mattered most. Almost everything he could use required getting in close – which was the whole freaking problem – and none would be more effective than Purge Divinity, regardless.
Maybe I could set up a Waymark point, then catch Kismet's teleport with one of mine...no, that won't work either. The odds of him popping in next to a random Waymark point are slim. Could fill the battlefield with lots of Marks, but even then I have to consider the Skill's activation time. With my current Dexterity, it'd honestly be faster just to run at him.
The vast majority of his abilities simply weren't up to par in a clash with divinity. Limit Break, Purge Divinity, and Never Forget Your Rage had been specifically designed by the Skills to facilitate deicide. Something like Power Slash couldn't possibly compare to jailbroken stats and a touch of death.
As an act of defiance against his own logic, he cast Enmity, the only ability that could feasibly hit Kismet at range. The god casually shrugged off its effect before promptly escaping.
{Five.}
Like a frustrated animal, Rob snarled and gave chase. Just need to keep trying. Kismet isn't perfect.
{Six.}
Sooner or later, he's going to mess up.
{Seven.}
He's going to mess up.
{Eight.}
HE HAS TO MESS UP.
Suddenly, Kismet transformed his right hand into a blade of mana. With one harsh motion, he sliced open his own left arm.
By now, Rob had conditioned himself to never stop moving forward, even if something shocked him – which this sight very much did. His mouth dropped open, and Leveling High paused in the middle of eating its metaphorical popcorn. They still kept advancing without an iota of hesitation.
And ran straight into the mana cloud leaking out from Kismet's wound.
Rob blinked, opening his eyes to a wonderful day. The twisting plains looked dazzlingly beautiful, with fauna and plantlife lit by rays of effervescent light from the twin stars shining above. People cheerfully went about their day, happily shaking their trunks in shows of greeting, or rattling their scales to initiate merry games.
All was at peace.
Until – in unison – everyone froze. The tumult of life went quiet in an instant, replaced with pensive silence.
As if they'd been struck by the creeping, pervasive sensation of being watched.
A sound rang out. Half of them immediately fell over dead, fluids gushing from their ruined bodies.
The survivors could only lay there, crippled and in pain, as more people slowly rose into the air. Invisible fingers seemed to pluck them from the ground – and then began ripping off their limbs, one at a time, like a child dissecting butterflies–
Rob dragged himself back to the present.
It had taken much less time than before to recognize what was happening. Now that he knew what to expect, experiencing the remnant souls' lives wasn't so different from the dreamlike quality of an Attunement vision. Although...realizing that he'd witnessed the end of a world preceding Elatra did cause his thoughts to hitch for a single moment.
Which was just enough for Kismet to forge a spear of mana, then send it plunging through Rob's eye, skull, and brain. Its tip was forged to shred anything it touched, no matter how durable or Resistant.
The god whooped with glee – only to wince as the HUMAN's sole reaction was a long, drawn-out sigh. With an air of exasperation, he reached up and yanked the divine spear free with a nauseating splorch.
His eye had been reduced to a seeping red mess. He closed its eyelid. When he opened it again, the orb within had already Regenerated, now sporting an unamused glare.
It was something of a unique moment. Mid-battle events didn't typically leave both combatants feeling disheartened. The all-powerful god was losing faith that he could ever hope to stop Rob's onslaught...
And the BERSERKER didn't know if he could justify continuing on like this. His body still felt like it was pulling itself apart; if anything, the sensation was growing more pronounced as their battle progressed. While Kismet would make a fatal mistake eventually, Rob couldn't guarantee that he would last long enough to capitalize on it.
Unless he followed Leveling High's advice and–
With a howl that shook the divine realms, Rob launched his stolen spear at Kismet. His aim was true, yet it sailed through empty air, the god's afterimage tauntingly fading away.
{Nine.}
Final chance.
​
--
​
Link to Part 2

have they literally added nothing... like actually nothing new.
the idea that they were / are charging for this is insane considering it doesnt look like this should've taken any time at all for them to cobble together, from what i can tell literally all they have done is change the AI spawns on the maps, sectioned it off from the live version and then started trying to charge people for it
it was scummy enough charging for it but seriously unless im missing something this looks like genuinely a months work at most? its so insanely lazy. the same braindead AI, re-skinned rogues / raiders for the PMC's... horrifically bad scav / pmc interaction (some times they seem to fight but it appears scavs only react once shot by AI pmc's)
zero pmc - pmc interaction, pretty dogshit spawns and terrible roam AI. absolutely zero changes to the economy which i dont think BSG really understands the ramifications of with a zero wipe economy...
hell the pmcs are SO reskinned that their items are still FIR despite the fact that they're supposed to be pmc's and thus their gear shouldnt be FIR.
even if they'd only spent 6 months on this shit it could be leaps and bounds better, at the moment it feels really bad... because of how the ai works in conjunction with how the ai spawns / moves you have this weird dichotomy of knowing you're absolutely safe in certain areas but then also in other areas knowing that if at any point any pmc gets any form of LOS on you they'll just snap on to you.
there's no fun dynamic with the AI, there's no feeling like you're outsmarting them or getting the better of them... its just dropping them as soon as you see them or running the other way. thats the only meaningful interactions with them... its so painfully obvious that you're just playing against poorly done AI
dont get me wrong im happy with the challenging aspect to it, the game should be challenging. but its not a fun kind of challenging because there's absolutely no permutations in how you interact with them. its just engage in combat and see if you get headeyesed before you kill them...
for instance you cant go into factory, head up to the offices, make your way to the rafters and silently creep around up there and then get the drop on the AI, taking one out, only to dart away behind cover breaking LOS and have them lose you.
all the AI have eyes on the back of their head so you dont really have any interesting dynamic. its just boring to fight them.
i think the spawns are the worst part though. i mean seriously how hard would it have been to have them spawn in the normal locations and then roam like normal players?
and dont get me wrong, im not even saying bsg should've put the time in to make the PVE good, honestly i don't think they needed to work on PVE at all... i mean especially considering i dont think bsg could possibly compete with a certain other PVE mode that exists...
but then that just makes this all the more scummy, the more i play the more its such a blatant and abhorrent cash grab. the ONLY thing thats good about it is that its at least more engaging than offline raids, so i guess its a good way for people to learn maps.
oh but you only have 25 minutes in raid, so good luck trying to comfortably learn the bigger maps and good routes on them because well... you dont have enough fucking time. So many puzzling decisions with this one. im really looking for someone to give me a new perspective on this, because i really cant any part of this that looks like it was made with effort and good intentions lmfao.

I am convinced rime rounds does not actually drop on lua spy. 29 runs in, multiple copies of the entire drop table including three cleaving whirlwinds, which has a 2% chance. At this point I've put too much time into it to justify spending the plat to buy it. How many more runs must I do? I will see lua spy when I close my eyes to sleep tonight. On a more positive note, or perhaps slightly sad, my runs are so efficient I'm averaging just over 4 minutes per run.

When Quicktalon finally woke up, his heart leaped to his throat as he noticed that the sun was beginning to set. A gruff voice chuckled to his alarm before he could act on his sudden panic, “Sit down, you crazy ostrich. You’re fine. Achira has been taken care of, the fire lit, and your dinner is near the fire to keep warm.” Quicktalon froze at the new voice, slowly turning towards the owner of this new visitor, but his eyes seemed to have been playing tricks on him. His brother Fleet was nearby and changing his sister’s bandages.
“Fleet?” he asked softly, his eyes still wide at seeing his battle-scarred brother. “H-how are you here?! The search party for the missing Drakes and Dragons left months ago!” he exclaimed, a grin growing as happy tears began to warm his eyes. It had been far too long since he had last seen his brother. “Well, we were on our way back from the most northern searches, and we found a few traces of what could have happened, but we need to send out another search party after we Rest and replenish our supplies. But I have heard the great news!” Fleet said as he hugged his brother, “ I’m so proud of you!” He exclaimed, pulling his brother into a hug, “I can’t believe you’ve grown so much from that little drake who never left our grandmother's side and always got into scrapes from running too fast.” He laughed softly.
Quicktalon chuckled at his brother’s lighthearted jesting, “ Grandmother always made healing fun and exciting, and I wanted to be able to follow in her talon steps and help those who helped us when we were little drakelings.” He said with a smile, “But now, I have a chance to truly save dragonkind from this dangerous threat, hopefully with getting this information out to the world and traveling to Scholar’s Whispering Peak, I can also get more information on what happened to our Grandmother and hopefully what had happened to our parents all those years ago.”
A smile ghosted Fleet's lips. He knew that something had happened to his grandmother; they had the signs and were Grandmother her. But the more his troop searched, and the more evidence was uncovered, the more serious this strange tail became. He hadn’t mentioned it yet to their pack leader. Still, Drakes across the savanna were going missing, some dragons and even the notoriously hidden Arctic dragons.
Dozens of Dragons of all kinds were going missing. The Sea Orcs were the only ones who witnessed this strange occurrence. They were too big for anything to happen to them, but the cause of the disappearing dragons needed to be uncovered and solved before the giant sea dragons began to disappear. But Fleet couldn’t ruin his brother’s excitement and joy over this. So, for now, he kept quiet and continued praising his brother for his magnificent discovery.
“I need to start getting ready. I’ve got a big trip ahead of me. I need to pack plenty of supplies and ensure I have enough to trade for a thick fur cover to protect me from the freezing temperatures at the summit of the Scholars Whispering Peak.” Quicktalon said, “I can’t wait to be able to spend more time with you and Achira as soon as she fully recovers from the effects of the viper.” He explained with a soft chuckle, “ but I will be back soon, hopefully before winter settles over the lands, which, with it being the middle of New Life, I should have time to make it to the coast and get assistance through the ocean and onto the nearest coastline on the other side.”
Fleet looked concerned at the plan his brother had just explained. " Are you sure that is safe? I’ve met traveling Sea Orcs and been told how long and perilous a journey across the sea can be for Drakes and Dragons of our size!” Fleet explained fear etched deep into his face as he couldn’t imagine his little brother in the middle of a raging and violent sea. “ It would be better to travel on land. You’d get there much safer and without the risk of your research getting ruined from the sea's moisture.”
Quicktalon took a moment to consider. Is a trip like that more manageable? Would it be safer to traverse land rather than sea? “Are there any maps I can get? Can you help me figure out a quick and safe journey from our home to the Scholars Whispering Peak? If the sea is too dangerous, I will need to figure out a different way to get to the scholars and hopefully get there before the snow season starts.” He said, “Do you know if the pack to our North sells maps of the continent and trade routes I could follow?” He asked while moving to a chest with chunks of gold and jewels he could trade for a map. He even wrote quick instructions for effectively healing and removing the venom from the bite of an Orid Viper. Fleet watched as his brother gathered enough items for trade; each pack had different trade requirements depending on the situation and status.
“Do you remember what they ask for trade?” Quicktalon asked as he set his collected gems and precious metals into a small side pouch strapped to his front right upper forearm. Fleet thought momentarily and tried to remember when his troop had last passed through the pack to the North. “ I believe they take both jewels and food, so we might want to stop and catch something for them to eat on our way over to the North Pack,” Fleet said as he sharpened his dull talons on a nearby rock, “ a water buffalo perhaps would be a good trade-off.” He said, “with the upcoming heat wave, they might appreciate more food for their youngins.”
“Then it's settled. Let's head to the North Pack and trade for a map for a trade route to Scholars Whispering Peak.” Quicktalon said, ensuring his research was set somewhere safe and out of the way of any potential spills or papyrus-eating worms. “Let’s go. The hottest part of the day is over for now, and the animals should be coming back from mid-day hibernation so we can snag a water buffalo on the way to them,” Quicktalon said while moving to give his sister healing wound a quick check-over. Once everything was in good shape, Quicktalon and Fleet left the medical hut. They began their journey to the North Pack and hopefully snagged a water buffalo on the way toward their destination.
Both brothers carefully left the medical hut and began looking around Earthquake to tell him where they were heading and their plan for QuickTalon to get to the Scholars Whispering peaks before winter hit. It wasn’t too hard to find the elder drake, as he was once again leading the younger drakes in battle practice for the potential war that seemed to be whispering on the horizon. “WATCH YOUR TALONS! FOR MOTHER DRAKE’S SAKE HEATSTROKE, DUCK! USE YOUR FIRE!” Earthquake shouted, drilling the almost grown drakes in new and much faster battle techniques. “Things must be getting worse if Earthquake is so worried about what’s been happening. It worries me.” Fleet murmured to QuickTalon, fear and worry evident on his face as he watched the young drakes practice their battle maneuvers as if they were currently fighting the actual enemy.
The mock battle went on for what felt like an eternity before Earthquake called for the young drakes to take a break and get a drink of water. “ Freshen up! Get a drink and take a moment to breathe! You must keep practicing if we ever need to go to war against this new and unknown enemy!” He commanded while walking over to see what QuickTalon and Fleet wanted to discuss. “ Welcome back, Fleet, and I’m happy to see that your search troop all came back with no casualties.” He said in greeting, “But what can I do for you both? I can see that there is something you both wish to tell me.” He said while peering down his snout at the younger of the group, “We plan to head to the northern pack and trade something of value for a trade route map to the Scholars Whispering Peaks. The initial route is dangerous, and the humid air could ruin my research.” QuickTalon explained, “With the scorching season rolling in, we thought bringing a water buffalo to trade for a map would be helpful.”
Earthquake seemed impressed by the current plan, “ while that is a good idea, the Northern Pack have been plagued recently by attacks from humans, or at least what seems to be left of that species; if you want to help, I’m sure food, water and medical attention will benefit them most.” He explained, “ but you both have my permission to go to the Northern Pack, just come back here, and I’ll help get you an assistant to stand in your place as a healer until your return.” Earthquake said, a smile gently ghosting across his snout, “now go on little ones, the sun is getting ready to set, and the water buffalo will be out to graze and drink at the nearby watering holes.” “Yes, sir, we will be back within three days,” QuickTalon said with a nod as he and his brother were dismissed and permitted to head off toward the Northern Pack.
With the dry dirt and plants crunching under their talons, QuickTalon turned and followed Fleet toward the Northern pack. “If humans are attacking them, what should we do if we see one?” QuickTalon asked after a long pause in the conversation, “Well,” Fleet started as if trying to recall a memory, “ my commander said that if you see a human, to kill on sight. While most humans are not dangerous to us as adults, they still threaten our young and elderly.” He explained, “Although I have yet to see a human, I have heard conflicting reports and statements about humans. Some are nice and have been seen helping others and the environment we live in, and some are on constant paths of destruction, burning, and taking like the worst of us dragons. Filled with greed and the never-ending satisfaction that they will never have enough stuff to put into their horde, they kill everything on their path to get what they want.”
QuickTalon’s eyes widened in both fascination and absolute horror at what he was hearing, and he had never realized that something so small and without fire or claws or just something to defend itself could be so destructive. “ But, is there a way to tell which ones are good and bad? Surely all of them can’t be rotten, can they?” He asked, jumping in fright when a breaking twig cracked nearby. “I’m sure there is, but for now, we’ve been told to just kill on sight.” He said softly, “ I know you want to help save the world, but you must remember, QuickTalon, that not everyone can or wants to be saved. You will need to know when to save yourself, and don’t let those who want to drown pull you under with them.” He said, eyes staring off into the distance, seeming to be looking at or hearing something out in the distance that only he could see. Quicktalon wasn’t sure how to respond to his brother’s worries. He was worried that his brother might know something more about this dangerous situation than he did, but he knew that he needed to keep his head clear and his eyes forward during this difficult time. “Brother, I know you are worried and want to find Grandmother, but spiraling off into the unknowns and the shadows will not help us find her. I believe in you and the others, but you need to take a breath and remind yourself where you are and your focus.” Quicktalon said, listening intensely to his surroundings while following his brother North. “ We will find Grandmother and the other missing Drakes, but for now, we need to rest our worried minds to start with a clean slate in the morning. If we let our brains become muddled, we could miss important details. So for now, let's just rest our heads and worry about finding a water buffalo and getting a map.”
Fleet sighed deeply, “You’re right, brother. Worrying about all the what-ifs has been muddling my mind. I’ve been so stressed over all of the potential possibilities I have lost the main focus of my mission. To bring the lost and the missing home.” He said, shaking his head ever so slightly as if trying to clear his head from the dark thoughts that had muddled his brain for many years. “ But I agree, let us get that water buffalo and trade for the map. Once we return and rest, my troop and I will follow you to the first trading post and head toward the North. Perhaps we might meet again on your journey.” Fleet hummed softly before snapping his gaze towards the direction of something he had heard. “Shh, I hear something!” He whispered while dropping into a low crouch and moving almost silently through the tall brush and grass toward the sound he had heard.
Quicktalon did the same and followed his brothers' movements. The grass hissed and crunched softly under their talons as they approached the top of a small hill. With careful movements, the brothers peered over the hill. The water buffalo migration had begun, and thousands of bison were resting around the large pond. “ The migration.” Quicktalon murmured, “Would it hurt if we managed to grab a few bison for the Northern pack?” He asked, “ I don’t know how many drakes are in the Northern Pack, but with the hot season approaching, maybe it would help to bring them a few bison to preserve before the migration leaves?” He asked if he knew they needed to preserve the circle of life, but he had no idea what the status of this other pack could be since it had been at least forty years since he had last seen the pack at the semi-annual Drake packs meet-up.
“Perhaps, although I don’t want to end up overwhelming the Northern pack with food. But I agree, with the scorching season approaching, packs will need as much food as possible.” Fleet murmured while slowly dropping into a hunter's crouch, “ I will go for the two deep in the water. You grab the one heading out.” He instructed, to which Quicktalon agreed. He adjusted his satchel and ensured his research was safe before waiting for his brother's signal. With a hiss, Fleet shot over the hill, running as fast as he found towards the two water buffalo in the water. Grunts, groans, and high-pitched bellows filled the air as the water buffalo panicked and ran away from the large drakes.
Thunderous hooves and cries filled the air as the buffalo pushed and shoved into each other while fighting to escape the predators. Quicktalon narrowed his eyes, planted all four talons to the ground, and lunged at the water buffalo. The bison bellowed in fear and swung its head, trying to gore Quicktalon with its horns, but with a sharp turn of his body, he narrowly managed to avoid the deadly horn and sink his teeth into the back of the buffalo’s neck. The buffalo’s wails increased before being silenced with a loud crack, its body falling limp in Quicktalon’s jaws and its head rolling loosely. Loud splashing drew the younger drakes' attention; the second water buffalo ganged up on his brother. With a roar of anger, Quicktalon dropped his fresh kill and thundered through the water toward the second buffalo. The second buffalo barely had time to react before Quicktalon threw himself on the bison’s back and began pulling on its horns to steer it away from his brother.
The bison bellowed angrily and bucked as hard as possible, trying to throw the younger drake off. But Quicktalon held on tight, and with an angry snarl, he gripped the horns tightly in his talons, and with a harsh twist and a loud snap, the bison’s neck was broken. The bison collapsed into the water with a splash. Quicktalon was breathing hard as he tried to catch his breath after such a stressful moment. Fleet growled as he finally managed to take down his water buffalo, “ Fleet, are you okay?” Quicktalon asked, moving through the water, the muddled water sloshing around his talons.
“ I—I’m okay, I just… need to catch my breath.” Fleet panted as he caught his breath. I don’t know why that was so difficult. It shouldn’t have been.” He panted while pushing himself up and moving to collect the two limp water bison. “Let’s get these to the North Pack. We are almost there.” He said while letting Quicktalon assist him with lifting the two freshly killed bison onto his back. “Alright, but as soon as you need to take a break, let me know,” Quicktalon said as he walked over to the water buffalo he killed and hoisted it onto his back.
Fleet nodded in agreement, and the two began the final leg of their trek toward the Northern pack. Crickets began to chirp and sing as the sun set, lighting the sky in a brilliant mixture of pinks, reds, and oranges. Quicktalon smiled, stared at the beautiful sky, and grew even more excited when the fireflies lit up and danced around the land. “ You’ve always enjoyed this time of year, haven’t you?” Fleet asked with a smile, “ I do. The beautiful sunsets, the lightning bugs, and the soft songs of crickets. It always brings me joy.” Quicktalon replied with a happy smile in return. “Whenever I am scared, I think of nights like this to help calm me down.” He explained with a soft chuckle, “Grandmother even painted me a painting of one of these nights. I still treasure that painting the most.” He said, reminiscing about when his grandmother gifted him the painting of his favorite sunset.
“We will find her, Quicktalon, I promise,” Fleet said as he gently shouldered his brother with a soft sigh. “ I know, Fleet, but I’m still worried. She vanished without a trace.” He said softly, shifting the weight of water buffalo on his back to accommodate for the extra weight. “ I believe you brother, but, I still cant’t believe that someone or something like this could have happened.” He murmured, “although I do hope that we can figure out what has happened and we can bring our grandmother home.” Quicktalon said as he tried to enjoy his favorite evening.
Fleet nodded, “ well, we are almost to the Northern Pack, hopefully they have something that can help.” He said, nodding his head towards the approaching lights in the distance, “ good, hopefully they can help.” Quicktalon sighed before a set of drakes in heavy armor thundered towards them, anger written on their faces. “HALT!” One of the guards roared. “W-whats going on?” Quicktalons asked, unsure of why the guards were so angry. “ Your grandmother and her pack of drakes destroyed our village!”

hello, i am suicidal. i have been suicidal for an awful long time but the thoughts stay dormant most of the time. i don’t find a reason in even posting this because the likelihood of anyone seeing this or even reading this far is low. but if you’d like to listen to my sob story feel free.
to start, i’m 16. and before you blame my hormones or just “growing up”, it isn’t. i’ve been on so many medications and trial and error tells me that the issue is within me somewhere. i’m a first born american from a long lineage of powerful people who have drive and verve in every aspect of life, i’ve seemed to miss that but i guess. ever since kindergarten i’ve been severely bullied for the way i presented myself; physical and social. i could never seem to get it right. once i began 2nd grade that was the first time i was ever conscious of my body and how much space my feelings took up and began bottling everything up. now as a sophomore in high school i’ve lost all drive and that bottle is about to shatter. i’m a druggie who can’t stop smoking weed every single night to cope with the fact that my pillows are wet with tears. i’m a burn out who went from a 3.8 to a 2.2. i’m a anorexic who lies to mom every night telling her i’m getting better. i’m a loser with no friends. i’m a fucking pariah who can’t keep a fucking talking stage going for more than a week. i could keep going but you get it i genuinely don’t know what i’m feeling, i feel like a fraud calling myself “suicidal” because i know i’ll never actually commit to it but i’m just wishing and praying that someday i’ll close my eyes and won’t wake up. i’m so fucking pathetic that sometimes i cross a high traffic road with my eyes closed or stand in front of the train tracks and hop off last minute. i just feel so helpless. every night i look at the lidocaine in my moms bathroom and wonder what would happen and how awful my mother would feel. the only reason i’m still breathing is for my mother. she the only light that keeps me going but i feel like soon that won’t be enough.
if you see this please help me i’m so lost

I'm posting this to a few bpd communities to try to reach more people with different perspectives. If you're active in other communities and have seen this post recently I apologize!
I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

I'm posting this to a few bpd communities to try to reach more people with different perspectives. If you're active in other communities and have seen this post recently I apologize!
I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

So, this is really long but I think it's worth the read as there has been nothing else like this in the Gtag community before. I have been working on this almost every day since Valentines Day Update 2022. I have changed it, restarted it, and updated it for every new Gtag update. I will make Updates to the in the future as it seems like we are getting more updates and more maps in the future.
Updates are not always literal, for example, the Human Tag Update only shows that humans exist or once existed in the Gorilla Tag world. The Monkes are not literally wearing masks that resemble humans. This logic applies to every update unless it's just cosmetics or a new map. Also, it's really weird at the first few Chapters so just stick with it or skip ahead. Ask any question in the comments about why I put the things I put and if you want evidence.
Most recent Updates to this are in Chapters 8, 14, 15, and 16
BI = Before Infection AI = After Infection
Prologue: Gods
4,500,000,000 BI - 212,001 BI
When Earth is formed, two gods form with it to rule over the planet. Mother Nature, the god of life and nature, and the Illuminati, the god of chaos and ice. Mother Nature usually takes the form of a 3,000-foot-tall tree called the Tree of Life, while the Illuminati takes the form of an ice pyramid with an ice eye in the center. Mother Nature creates life to populate Earth while the Illuminati constantly tries to kill it.
Chapter 1: The Rise and Fall of Humanity
212,000 - 200,001 BI
Humans, the most powerful species on Earth has cut down the Tree of Life and taken Mother Nature out of control. This leaves the Illuminati to slowly creep into the modern society. Some Humans form a cult around it, and they are the most powerful people on Earth. That means, the Illuminati can tell them to do something, and they can affect the most powerful nations on the planet.
Eventually, the Illuminati tricks the humans into fighting each other. The biggest nations on the world begin to go to war with some of the biggest possible nukes. They destroy the surface of the Earth causing it to go into a nuclear ice age. The Illuminati, an ice god, now has full control over Earth. Anytime life appears, it almost instantly dies. However, some humans were able to survive and eventually, the ice age comes to an end, and no god is in control of Earth.
Chapter 2: Monke
200,000 BI - 1,001 BI
After hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, Humans have evolved into a new species called Monkes. Monkes are gorilla-like apes that can survive the harshest of conditions. Their diet consists of grass and bugs. Some bugs and patches of grass have survived over the past few million years.
Mother Nature has started to take back control of the world as she creates the Tree of Life and a whole forest around it in a crater from a nuke. Many Monkes travel to this crater and end up being trapped as the forest is on a lower level then the rest of the crater.
Chapter 3: Rise of the Monkes
1,000 BI - 601 BI
All other Monkes go extinct meaning that the only remaining Monkes are in this crater. One day the Monkes decide to finally make the jump as they all jump down into the forest. Most of them die, but the few that survive are left without legs. About 100 Monkes are alive and they quickly learn to use their arms like legs.
Unfortunately, just like there Human ancestors, the first thing they do is cut down the Tree of Life and use its wood. This leaves Mother Nature powerless again. The wood from the Tree of Life will last them for thousands of years. They build bridges, tree houses, ramps, and a gazebo in the forest. All the children of the surviving Monkes also don't have legs making it now a fundamental part of their species.
They hollow out the inside of the Tree of Life's stump and start to build tunnels out of it. These tunnels reach out to all over the crater. One tunnel leads to a small set of canyons covered in sand. Another tunnel leads to a massive flat, rocky, landscape in the other side of the crater. The final tunnel goes straight down into the ground until it hits a large cave filled with crystals.
They build mines underneath the cave and harvest the large crystals. These crystals are radioactive because of the ancient nukes. The Monkes harvest the crystals and start to use them in technology. They create lamps, litghtposts, lights, signs, and even their greatest accomplishment a computer.
Chapter 4: The City
600 BI - 30 BI
The large, flat, rocky landscape they discovered has a lot of useful recourses in it. Over the next few hundred years they build an entire city with large skyscrapers and new technology that is widespread. There are thousands of Monkes now living in The City. The forest and canyons have become vacation places for most Monkes, and the homes of the most rich or important Monkes.
The Monkes decide to have a leader, so a rich family decides to step up and become the royals of the Monkes. There king is named Yorick, and their queen is named Lucy. They both live in a basement-like area rights next to the main entrance into The City. Queen Lucy also turns the canyons into an industrial area and improves quality of life for the main populous.
King Yorick and Queen Lucy have a son named Blue. By the time Prince Blue was 13 he already starting his dream job of being a scientist.
Chapter 5: The Hunt War
29 BI - 21 BI
A tunnel is dug in city after, and they dig all the way until the edge of the crater. The walls of the crater look like large mountains from down below and they are extremely cold. They accidentally cause an avalanche, and the base of the walls are filled with snow and ice. From this avalanche comes the god of chaos and ice, the Illuminati. The Illuminati causes many snowstorms and causes a sort of Ice Age.
Queen Lucy tries to keep everyone calm and civil. However, the Illuminati is able to influence the Monkes minds and causes chaos and destruction to happen all throughout Monke society. After years of pure chaos, the Monkes are able to split into two factions, The Monkes, and the Smiles. They also are helped by newly discovered species that came with the Ice Age. These species are Penguins, Polar Bears, Snow Owls, and many other species that live in the cold. These species were the only survivors of the ancient human war that nearly killed Earth. Over the past few hundred thousand years, they have all migrated across the world, and have worked together even if they were from different poles of the Earth.
The royal scientist, Prince Blue has created many new technologies before. During the war, he creates a Hunt Watch. A Hunt Watch is a watch that targets the nearest enemy to you. Once you touch that enemy with the watch on, they turn into an Ice Monke and can easily be shattered to bits. Over time, this technology allowed them to win the war and bring somewhat order back.
Chapter 6: The Ice Monkes
20 BI - 1 BI
Many Ice Monkes were not killed in the war, usually they were turned into Ice Monkes but were able to get away before being shattered. The Ice Monkes are still just regular Monkes except they are made of ice, can't go near heat, and are fragile. Even though the war was over, the Ice Monkes were still treated horribly. In this already hard time period, the Ice Monkes had absolutely nothing. Many veterans of the war still had their Hunt Watches, causing many more Ice Monkes to be formed.
Meanwhile the Illuminati builds snow castles for itself in the forest. This means that the mountain base was safe to enter now. To lighten the spirit of this dark time they built a large waterslide in this new area. Many murders and crimes still happen throughout The City, but one day it gets out of hand. King Yorick is assonated, his head was chopped off in the middle of The City. The now lonely Queen Lucy keeps his skull in her home.
Chapter 7: The Infection
0 AI - 3 AI
Ever since the bombs dropped hundreds of thousands of years ago, a volcano has slowly been forming in the crater. Now, the volcano has fully formed and is erupting. All the snow and ice are melted, the Illuminati is gone, the caves are flooded, and the mines are caved in. The base of the walls still has snow but lots of it melts and reshapes its surface.
In the lava was an extremophile virus that can survive the lavas heat. It is radioactive and spreads very quickly. This virus is called the Infection, and many Monkes get it. The infected Monkes get resistant to lava, they get stronger, they get faster, there skin is replaced with lava, and they have an uncontrollable instinct to hunt down normal Monkes and infect them.
The infected spread everywhere but The City is able to be kept safe and nobody can enter or leave The City. After a few years the volcano stops erupting, but the Infection stays around.
Chapter 8: Calming Down
4 AI - 6 AI
Prince Blue finds a cure for the Infection, some Monkes are given jobs to specifically leave The City and cure a ton of infected Monkes. They start doing this and it actually works. The cure is called Kai Juice. Anytime someone enters The City, they are given Kai Juice just in case. It is no longer dangerous to leave The City as if you get infected you can immediately drink some Kai Juice and go back to normal.
The caves and mines are drained and dug up. The old caves and mines completely caved in and revealed even more caves underneath. They start mining again and find loads of dinosaur bones along with a 40-foot-long crystal. Prince Blue has a son named Pink, but unfortunately during such great times, Queen Lucy dies of old age. Blue becomes King Blue and Pink becomes Prince Pink. There is a massive funeral for Queen Lucy that spans from The City all the way to the forest. They burn her body and put her ashes in a vase beneath a grave.
Chapter 9: Exploration
7 AI - 17 AI
A large tunnel is found on the forest walls, they follow it, and it leads out of the crater. Just on the other side of the crater is a beach covered in ancient, broken, human buildings. King Blue sees this and is the first to figure out that there was a complex civilization before them.
A few years later, they have made boats to sail out into the ocean and have built shops to supply the ships on shore. The ocean and beach are also home to many new animals. Meanwhile, King Blue discovered that if an infected Monke stays infected for multiply years, they harden and become rock. When they harden, they can't infect anything, but they can't be cured either. They also get even stronger, even faster, and their rock skin is almost impenetrable.
Chapter 10: The Tree of Life
18 AI - 47 AI
King Blue has been studying everything he can since he became king, and he has noticed that it is possible to revive the Tree of Life. For hundreds of years the Tree of Life's stump has been sitting in the forest, so King Blue is going to be the first one to do anything about it.
Over the next decade they nurture the stump and help it constantly until the Tree of Life has fully grown back. The only problem is that the Tree of Life is almost a mile tall, and they can't climb up that. King Blue and his engineering team spend the next few years building a rocket. When they are finished, they put it in the middle of The City and launch it. On the rocket is a team of explorers and engineers to work on top of the Tree of Life.
When on top of it they build large platforms along with massive rocks wheels and other things powered by winds. When they come back down, months later, they tell everyone what they built. The rocket becomes the main form of transportation in between The City and the Tree of Life’s top. The public uses that rocket to get up there because now people live on top of the Tree of Life in a place called Cloudtown.
Chapter 11: Calm Before the Storm
48 AI - 54 AI
King Blue and his team start to develop a new rocket after realizing how well they built the first rocket. The second rocket they build is not in The City and much larger. They build this rocket for years before eventually, it is done. It launched, flew out of the atmosphere, and took a 3-day journey through space until they landed on the Moon.
The Illuminati has created a being named Humbug. Humbug appears as a 30-foot-tall snowman. Humbug also has the abilities to change size, change the size of other things, transform, and transform other things. He takes the form of an old Monke named Santa Claus. In the form of Santa, he would give out presents to everyone and create ridiculously large birthday cakes for everyone. Everyone loved him and had no idea of his true form. He would use his powers every now and then to shrink people down and kidnap them. Over time he would slowly transform them into children's toys that he would give out to the people. However, the Santa form broke down over time. His red clothes and white beard becoming gray. But the public still loved and cherished him.
Chapter 12: Humbug
55 AI - 62 AI
Humbug reveals his true form and takes over The City. He shrinks down King Blue and Prince Pink. He then mutilates and transforms them into monsters called the Monkeyes. He traps them in a miniature maze and throws Monkes in there to be killed by their previous leaders. Everything is covered in snow once again by the Illuminati, but he still is not fully in control. Humbug takes over everything the Monkes have made before climbing his way up the Tree of Life. Humbug makes it up there and destroys Cloudtown in an attempt to take control over the Tree of Life. This does not work.
Over a few years, the Monkes have been able to create something called a Tesla Coil. The Tesla Coil is a machine that can take away Humbugs powers and use it against him. Humbug's powers are stripped away, and the Monkes take back control. Humbug is shrunken down and trapped in a miniature maze. The Monkes also start to use his powers to make themselves super big. However, with King Blue and Prince Pink turned into monsters, and Humbug overthrown, the Monkes have no leader.
Chapter 13: The Giants War
63 AI - 75 AI
The Monkes have been living peacefully for a few years, but eventualy, the different sizes start to look down on each other. This leads into the Giants War, where the different Monke sizes fight for 9 years. Eventually, the Monke population dwindle so much, that the war ended. The Monkes that did not change their size did not interact with the Monkes that changed their size. Now, tiny Monke skulls and giant Monke skulls are littered everywhere, and the only surviving Monkes are the ones that never changed their size.
Chapter 14: Peace
76 AI - 90 AI
The Tree of Life grows massively and repairs the damage done by Humbug years ago. Countless new branches and huge leaves sprout from its trunk. This allows the Monkes to make their way back up to the treetop with a newly repaired rocket. Cloudtown is rebuild, slowly, but rebuilt nonetheless. This is called, New Cloudtown.
A year after the Giants War ends, the skulls and bodies are cleared out. The City was practically empty as most buildings were either destroyed, damaged, or tilted over in the war. Many Monkes just went to New Cloudtown to survive as going anywhere else other than The City would mean being attacked by Infected Monkes. Also, during this time, the mutated monsters that were once King Blue and Prince Pink were killed by another Monke for sport. Their souls go on to become ghosts that wander the city. King Blue's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Wanderer, and Prince Pink's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Lurker.
The population has grown more, and the Monkes have created sports to celebrate the era of peace. These sports are Hockey, Watersoccer, and Paintbrawl. This happens during the fall where Lucy's spirit flies out from her grave and starts playing with some random civilian Monkes. She then reunites with the souls of her son and grandson in the forms of the Ghost Wanderer and the Ghost Lurker.
Chapter 15: Advancements
91 AI - 100 AI
A new type of plant is found in New Cloudtown. This plant sprouts large leaves with handle-like stems. These plants are called Glider Vines. The leaves of Glider Vines are used as gliders to fly around New Cloudtown.
The Monkes are unable to explore anymore. The ocean is too vast, they never got back from explorers they sent into the ocean, and the crater walls are too high to climb. So, they spend a few years creating an artificial environment that they can change on a will. They do this by using a Tesla Coil that harness Humbug's powers. In the first testing of it, they try to bring back the vast cave systems they found hundreds of years ago. It was an attempt to make infinite recourses. It turns out as a failure, everything is extremely broken and blocky. After much testing, they have it so it could be a tundra, a swamp, an ancient temple, and basically anything else. This underground, artificial environment is called Rotation.
They decide to excavate a larger area for Rotation. They then finish their original plan of recreating that same ancient cave system. This time it works, and it looks just like how it did hundreds of years ago. However, during the excavating of the larger area, the long dead Queen Lucy's vase finds itself in Rotation. Minor Monkes enter this cave and start mining, but when they discover Lucy's vase, they open it. From her long dead ashes rises the confused, lost, and insane spirit of Lucy. She has been trapped underground in the dark for almost a century now and has gone insane. The minors call her the Burnt Lucy, a dark reflection of their long dead Queen.
Chapter 16: The Return of Humbug
101 AI - ??? AI
The usage of the Tesla Coil attracts Humbug. He is able to escape the miniature maze the Monkes trapped him in, and slowly make his way to Rotation. When he arrives, he is able to get some of his powers back from the Tesla Coil, but he is noticed by the Monkes.
One of the first things Humbug does is kidnap three Monkes and turns them into small monsters called Monkeyes. He places them in the tiny maze that he was once trapped in.

I'm a good person. I know that. I love people with my whole heart. But my behaviors (or at least motivation behind behaviors) have not always shown that, even if they were disguised as "good". Something that has helped me A LOT lately is thinking "am I doing this act to help someone, or to make myself look good." The statement varies slightly according to the situation of course, but honestly it has helped stop many attention seeking behaviors. This has helped me modify and adjust how I react to situations.
For example, I daydream every night before bed about me or characters from a show being either a victim or a hero. One or the other (thanks black and white thinking). Basically I write fanfiction in my head. It usually contains dark subjects like SA, abuse, death, etc. When I first started giving myself time to daydream before bed I noticed a decrease in attention seeking behaviors in real life, however as the years went on I started to convince myself that those things I was purposely dreaming of were ok to do irl if given the possibility. Anyway what caused this revelation is that my favorite resident at a SNF I work for is in the hospital with an unclear fate. In my daydream time about a week ago I imagined different scenarios and played through them. Doing this led to me really thinking about why I do things. One of the scenarios I had to run through of course was "what happens if the resident passes." So I imagined myself at her funeral and her family member asked if anyone else wanted to speak. So I did. But as I was dreaming about what I would say "...when you see someone everyday for two and a half years you get to love them. She watched me grow up and gave me some of the best advice one could ask for..." I realized I was thinking about the family feeling sorry for me. I saw her daughter looking at me thinking "oh that poor person loved my mom so much, they must be hurting a lot." This made me snap open my eyes and look at the ceiling. I realized i was imagining my favorite resident's funeral (i usually try to picture future scenarios in my daydreaming time to prepare because it soothes anxiety, i don't plan to stop fully but at least be more conscious of my actions to those scenarios in my dreams) and picturing her FAMILY, feeling sorry for ME.
Ever since I had that dream about a week ago it has completely changed my perspective of how I go about things and I hope I keep this in mind. Humans are inherently selfish. Every action we do have some form of self satisfaction to it. Even something as simple as tying your shoe laces so you don’t fall, is motivated by a level of selfishness. That is normal. However, I want to make sure I do things for the right reasons even if the outcome of the deed wouldn't change. If I volunteer l to help someone with a task is it because there are other people in the room watching me and I want to look good? Is it because I want this person to like me and think I'm a good person? Or, is it because humans deserve help and kindness and if I have the (mental, physical, financial) capacity to do so I WANT to help someone just to make their lives easier.
Like I stated earlier, it is very human to have to think of yourself in others shoes to be empathetic in most situations, I mean that's what the golden rule is (for example, I don't want to see people in pain because I know what pain feels like, therefore I do my best to prevent and reduce pain in others)! But in my experience people with bpd tend to have a little extra motivation: how we are perceived to others as "good" to prevent abandonment, or for validation/attention seeking that we feel we deserve and honestly sometimes NEED. As basic as it sounds I'm trying to be more aware of my motivation behind my actions. Who new it would take 7 years of CBT and 1 year of DBT to get to this point. I feel kind of silly honestly.
I am a self aware person, however that often made my attention seeking behaviors worse. This made my behaviors worse because I would rationalize them as "well I'm communicating to people what my needs are, therefore if they don't react appropriately they are at fault. If I'm genuinely suicidal and I let my friends know then they should shower me with love and concern. Even if I've been genuinely suicidal over many 'little' things that they now think it's a boy who cried wolf situation. I've identified my feelings (which really are real, just because they seem dramatic doesn't mean im not feeling them, so me it's so intense and real, to them it's purely for attention) and communicated so I must be doing things right." Now I realize that crying to my coworkers while they are trying to work is not acceptable because they are acquaintances and we are at work. Another thing that has caused me to have trouble identifying what is or isn't okay is understanding that just because I would drop everything to comfort a random coworkeacquaintance at work does not mean everyone else is comfortable, has the emotional capacity, feels safe, or feels motivated, to do the same. In my mind everyone takes the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) so literally. It's why I'm seen as clingy and can't often tell the difference between romantic, platonic, acquaintance relationships. Because I dont care if we met a week ago if I like you and you seem to like my you're my friend in my mind and I got your back.
So yeah I just wanted to share/rant lol. Do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals have any recommendations for how to deal with needing to be listened to or almost "coddled" sometimes? For me it was the daydreaming that I use for my anxiety but I'm not sure if that's the healthiest for me anymore. It definitely helped for a long time, but I think some change would do me some good. Let me know your techniques and coping skills you use when you find yourself in a similar position!

Hi all,
First of all: My fullest respect to all ER workers and emergency service workers. You lot are a amazing.
I do wanna preface this by saying that I am neither. I work in the medical department of a football (soccer) club, so I'm there in the emergency, but also long term after. Hope I'm still good to post here. (the flair Advice would have worked as well tbf)
Needless to say, most things we do are orthopedic issues, traumatic injuries, surgery, general sports medicine etc.., you get the gist. We are sort of the general practitioners for these guys too though. If they have a medical issue of any sort, they'll usually come to us first, so we do have a bit of experience in other fields too. Extreme examples: This season we had a case of myocarditis and a case of sepsis. Sepsis was caught early with no long term consequences, but the guy (only 19) with myocarditis had severe complications. He's had a heart attack, spent a week in a coma and now has a pacemaker. Seeing this young guy struggle to get up from the breakfast table and take the five steps over to the buffet is heartbreaking. And in hindsight, it's probably bothering me more than it should have. Doesn't help that the likely cause is a direct misjudgement on our part, when we cleared him for training too soon after a viral infection.
So I've kinda been carrying this around me for a while and there are a few other private and work related issues that have caused me to be burned out a bit. And as life sometimes does, it just threw me the two most extreme workdays possible in my profession.
To paint the scene: I'm stood on the training pitch just observing. I hear a blood curdling scream from another pitch. I grab my shit and haul ass over there. What meets me there is an open fracture of both tibia and fibula. But not just any open broken leg fracture, best I can describe it is that his leg nearly amputated. It was hanging on by a big patch of skin, part of his muscles, like two tendons and miraculously, a handful of blood vessels. People were vomiting and dry heaving at the sight. You could have run anatomy course there. We put a tournequet on, dance the usual dance of what/how much analgesics and/or anaesthetics to give someone who's clearly lost a lot of blood. Decided that this is a case for the air ambulance and ultimately somehow managed to stabilize the leg without cutting of the last blood supply. It was a feat. Surgery (one of many) went well and he's doing well considering the circumstances. I still don't know how this happened btw. We do film every training, but nobody has been brave enough to watch that scene yet. The lad who (of course accidentally) did this to him is still inconsolable.
Next day on the training pitch, I hear a sound anyone in my concrete profession fears. A clash of heads and a good one at that. I turn around to find two people on the floor. One moving and clearly just dazed, the other one fully unconcious and not moving. I grab my shit and haul ass over there again. Upon closer inspection I notice blood running out of one of his ears and his mouth, a clear liquid running out of his nose and a dropping face. Not ideal. When he came back around he slurred his words, was extremely confused, complained of a bad headache and nausea, hearing and vision loss on one side and then started vomiting. Not forgetting the racoon eyes. Anyways - We got to call the air ambulance again. And if you guessed severe intracranial injuries and a basilar skull fracture, you are absolutely correct. He'll get surgery as soon as the swelling has gone down enough. The really heartbreaking part was when he didn't recognize his mother, who was watching the training and in absolute hysterics, anymore. Again, it was bad luck and nothing else, but the player that was involved in the head duel is devastated.
And I've come to realise - So am I. It should not affect me so much, but it does. These were two extreme unprecedented days for me and the entire medical team (cue the ER nurses laughing), but everyone else seems to have moved past it. But it's such a different story when they aren't strangers, but you see them every day and they are your friends. Rationally, I know I'm a bit burned out, hence why it affects me so much, which is scary to me.
I love my job and I usually bring 200% of enthusiasm to work every day, so this is truly the first time I ever felt this way. But I know I'm not the only one who's felt like this before. Do you have any advice on how I could get myself up and going again?

1. Carlin had a big week of giggles and guffaws for the camera. She took an influencer trip to Skyland Ranch, used a Billie Eilish song on an IG reel of her children and then gaslit her audience into believing she and Evan have well known catchphrases “CrAAzy”, “Love, Bye” and “bruh”. They slapped these random words on hats and TShirts and people STOOD IN THE RAIN to buy them. I saw a grown azz man in a “BRUH” hat. Other wild things that happened at their Cash and Carry sale included someone taking pics of their kids in front of the Tesla, referring to the dresses as “she” and calling their vlog “vloggy”.I have cringed too much over all of it. Layla put on a full show for the camera at a nail salon AND the dance studio while Zade earned his keep wearing pretend high heel shoes. They wrapped it all up in a big terrible bow by featuring Hobby Lobby.
   
2. Whitney played second fiddle all week to Carlin… folding shirts, holding babies and modeling Temu dresses that they marked up 347%. Zach was back in the Bates Kitchen this week and decided the best way to get views was to bring in the kids so we got to watch Kacie mix and mess and poke around in cake mix and canned frosting to concoct cake pops. Then the grossest thing happened… ZACH BATES FARTED. During a COOKING SHOW. IN THE KITCHEN. I mean he ripped a big ole juicy poot and they all laughed and decided to air it and then they SOLD those dang FART POPS at the Cash and Carry sale. He also made some terrible Psychology jokes. I bet soon enough they will have “fart pops” on a hat for sale.
   
3. The Balka crowd were living it up this week in a 600$ a night beachfront condo that included a beach chair service. This family trip was really just a content mill and man did Josie churn it out. She is full on exploiting her children while drowning in a sea of beige. What has happened that she is suddenly, desperately pouring out content on every platform… did Kelton tell her she needed to make some money to pay for her Sephora habit OR is a product launch in the works? Our Fundie Kim K.is pushing links while living life through a gauzy filter featuring tinkly music.
   
4. Katie had to let Travis go on this fake tour, but not before she let all the groupies know that was her mans. Trav said he was only singing 3 or 4 songs at each show so tell me again why they moved from Jersey for THIS? Speaking of Jersey, the vlog featured just a blip of the Clark family and it looks like GiGi has been drowning her sorrows by remodeling at her house. Katie got them back to the hive as quickly as possible and spent her week with Carlin and co at the playground and pool.
   
5. Lydia is bored bc she is married to Trace. All of her photography skills are now used to take pics of sneakers, weights, water bottles and pickleball. This crew has been featuring Lydia’s family pretty heavily lately, including spending Mothers Day with them where they made small talk with Trace and pretended to like him. Trace spilled the beans that his parents gave away all the pets at the big house while simultaneously telling us that Lawson doesn’t take care of Duke bc he gets dropped off there at least once a month. Later they debuted 40 minutes of Trace painting Lydia’s face like it was a fence while mouth breathing. Lydia’s mom called to show her the pet emu eating cherries and that was the best darn thing they have shown us in months. More emu please-less Trace!
   
6. Michael and Brandon brought in the professionals this week and exploited Layla and Zade Stewart. Layla is as good as any second year stage student at this point… BUT Aunt Michael has rules so she had to slow her role. Brandon was excited to draw Layla a princess after 3 weeks of sharks and whales… honestly everything he draws sort of looks the same. They also went to Honea Path to see Poppa Bill and Momma Jane who was smiling that it wasn’t one of the grands with 18 kids.
   
7. Down in passive-aggressive land Alyssa Webster told the tale of how all FOUR of her girls were asked to be flower girls and how that had NEVER happened and how SPECIAL that was. After several posts exclaiming her undying devotion and love to “buddy” she showed off the bad 80’s prom dress she was given by that dress shop she promotes. If a flame came anywhere near her it would have been all she wrote for Mrs. Webster. That dress was awful… but not as bad as the one she was gifted from BSB(which she called “my sister’s boutique”). The vlog shows John being an absolute jerk while Alyssa sneers and snarls and tries very hard not to say that her Mother’s Day sucked. It did suck and in order to make it up to her, daddy Webster put on a button down shirt and took her to the Cheesecake Factory. After all of the slap happy crappy birthday parties and Christmases she has given her girls… she expected WHAT for Mother’s Day??
   
8. Lawson made an absolute fool of himself while revealing the worst kept secret ever… it’s a boy, yall. Michael and Brandon punished themselves by throwing the party and doing all of the work while Tiffy and Lawson preened for the camera and asked people over and over what their guess was. This was filmed on I Love You Day weekend at the IBLP leaders church so this is old, old footage aaand these people are all perfectly fine with what their dad does. Tiffy and Law made it a point to say there was a bigger crowd than was at their wedding. Tiffy cried after finding out she is carrying a little Lawson and Duke was nowhere to be found. I do think he congratulated them on IG though, so all is good.
   
9. Oh Erin… what a week you had. You got Momma and Daddy Bates all to yourself for Mothers Day and for Carson/Charles’ birthday. Gil and KJ also picked up a nice paycheck for speaking and preaching at the Paine’s new church. Even though Erin happily joined a church that prides itself on promoting the corporal punishment of children, she still put together a glowing reel for Carson/Charles’ special day that featured him down at it at his second job of brothermomming. Not one picture of herself with the child was included. Later Erin threw a free notebook in with her construction paper cards as an incentive to buy. Free paper for buying paper is super exciting, right?
   
10. Bits and Bytes… Jadon and Layla are the same height. The Utah photographer that Alyssa used is followed by ALL of the Bates. Everyone of these Trad Wives are now promoting Easy plants. Why can’t Zach have any closeups in his cooking videos? Jeb/Jud broke his arm.
    

Have a great week friends and… how many Baptists does it takes to change a lightbulb…. CHANGE?!? Who mentioned CHANGE!?🫠😜

1. Carlin had a big week of giggles and guffaws for the camera. She took an influencer trip to Skyland Ranch, used a Billie Eilish song on an IG reel of her children and then gaslit her audience into believing she and Evan have well known catchphrases “CrAAzy”, “Love, Bye” and “bruh”. They slapped these random words on hats and TShirts and people STOOD IN THE RAIN to buy them. I saw a grown azz man in a “BRUH” hat. Other wild things that happened at their Cash and Carry sale included someone taking pics of their kids in front of the Tesla, referring to the dresses as “she” and calling their vlog “vloggy”.I have cringed too much over all of it. Layla put on a full show for the camera at a nail salon AND the dance studio while Zade earned his keep wearing pretend high heel shoes. They wrapped it all up in a big terrible bow by featuring Hobby Lobby.
   
2. Whitney played second fiddle all week to Carlin… folding shirts, holding babies and modeling Temu dresses that they marked up 347%. Zach was back in the Bates Kitchen this week and decided the best way to get views was to bring in the kids so we got to watch Kacie mix and mess and poke around in cake mix and canned frosting to concoct cake pops. Then the grossest thing happened… ZACH BATES FARTED. During a COOKING SHOW. IN THE KITCHEN. I mean he ripped a big ole juicy poot and they all laughed and decided to air it and then they SOLD those dang FART POPS at the Cash and Carry sale. He also made some terrible Psychology jokes. I bet soon enough they will have “fart pops” on a hat for sale.
   
3. The Balka crowd were living it up this week in a 600$ a night beachfront condo that included a beach chair service. This family trip was really just a content mill and man did Josie churn it out. She is full on exploiting her children while drowning in a sea of beige. What has happened that she is suddenly, desperately pouring out content on every platform… did Kelton tell her she needed to make some money to pay for her Sephora habit OR is a product launch in the works? Our Fundie Kim K.is pushing links while living life through a gauzy filter featuring tinkly music.
   
4. Katie had to let Travis go on this fake tour, but not before she let all the groupies know that was her mans. Trav said he was only singing 3 or 4 songs at each show so tell me again why they moved from Jersey for THIS? Speaking of Jersey, the vlog featured just a blip of the Clark family and it looks like GiGi has been drowning her sorrows by remodeling at her house. Katie got them back to the hive as quickly as possible and spent her week with Carlin and co at the playground and pool.
   
5. Lydia is bored bc she is married to Trace. All of her photography skills are now used to take pics of sneakers, weights, water bottles and pickleball. This crew has been featuring Lydia’s family pretty heavily lately, including spending Mothers Day with them where they made small talk with Trace and pretended to like him. Trace spilled the beans that his parents gave away all the pets at the big house while simultaneously telling us that Lawson doesn’t take care of Duke bc he gets dropped off there at least once a month. Later they debuted 40 minutes of Trace painting Lydia’s face like it was a fence while mouth breathing. Lydia’s mom called to show her the pet emu eating cherries and that was the best darn thing they have shown us in months. More emu please-less Trace!
   
6. Michael and Brandon brought in the professionals this week and exploited Layla and Zade Stewart. Layla is as good as any second year stage student at this point… BUT Aunt Michael has rules so she had to slow her role. Brandon was excited to draw Layla a princess after 3 weeks of sharks and whales… honestly everything he draws sort of looks the same. They also went to Honea Path to see Poppa Bill and Momma Jane who was smiling that it wasn’t one of the grands with 18 kids.
   
7. Down in passive-aggressive land Alyssa Webster told the tale of how all FOUR of her girls were asked to be flower girls and how that had NEVER happened and how SPECIAL that was. After several posts exclaiming her undying devotion and love to “buddy” she showed off the bad 80’s prom dress she was given by that dress shop she promotes. If a flame came anywhere near her it would have been all she wrote for Mrs. Webster. That dress was awful… but not as bad as the one she was gifted from BSB(which she called “my sister’s boutique”). The vlog shows John being an absolute jerk while Alyssa sneers and snarls and tries very hard not to say that her Mother’s Day sucked. It did suck and in order to make it up to her, daddy Webster put on a button down shirt and took her to the Cheesecake Factory. After all of the slap happy crappy birthday parties and Christmases she has given her girls… she expected WHAT for Mother’s Day??
   
8. Lawson made an absolute fool of himself while revealing the worst kept secret ever… it’s a boy, yall. Michael and Brandon punished themselves by throwing the party and doing all of the work while Tiffy and Lawson preened for the camera and asked people over and over what their guess was. This was filmed on I Love You Day weekend at the IBLP leaders church so this is old, old footage aaand these people are all perfectly fine with what their dad does. Tiffy and Law made it a point to say there was a bigger crowd than was at their wedding. Tiffy cried after finding out she is carrying a little Lawson and Duke was nowhere to be found. I do think he congratulated them on IG though, so all is good.
   
9. Oh Erin… what a week you had. You got Momma and Daddy Bates all to yourself for Mothers Day and for Carson/Charles’ birthday. Gil and KJ also picked up a nice paycheck for speaking and preaching at the Paine’s new church. Even though Erin happily joined a church that prides itself on promoting the corporal punishment of children, she still put together a glowing reel for Carson/Charles’ special day that featured him down at it at his second job of brothermomming. Not one picture of herself with the child was included. Later Erin threw a free notebook in with her construction paper cards as an incentive to buy. Free paper for buying paper is super exciting, right?
   
10. Bits and Bytes… Jadon and Layla are the same height. The Utah photographer that Alyssa used is followed by ALL of the Bates. Everyone of these Trad Wives are now promoting Easy plants. Why can’t Zach have any closeups in his cooking videos? Jeb/Jud broke his arm.
    

Have a great week friends and… how many Baptists does it takes to change a lightbulb…. CHANGE?!? Who mentioned CHANGE!?🫠😜

My name is Dr. Smith, not my real name of course, but for purposes of storytelling it will have to suffice. I have been practicing medicine at an Asian country as a general practitioner. I'm relatively new and I practice at a small village, not too far from civilization, half a day's travel by car and a few hours by boat from the country's capital, but very rural nonetheless, complete with superstitious beliefs and customs. I decided to stay here when I first graduated and passed the licensure exam for two reasons: first, I have a place to stay here, my family's ancestral home (although none of my direct relatives have lived there for years), said ancestors being one of the first people to settle in the area and second, because my family had always been the physicians in this small community as far as anyone remembers. Me, my grandfather and his father before him all went to the city to study medicine and went back here to practice it, like there was a pull, a calling, to sacrifice the convenient, fast-paced city life for the quiet and serene. My mother hated the idea, as clingy as she is to me, saying things like she wanted me to always be around where she could protect me, but you can't really help it when purpose calls. To be honest, it feels good providing a wide range of services to the honest people of our small, humble town, no greater feeling than helping the less privelaged, educating them and dispelling preconceived notions and old wives tales which are aplenty in my country, especially here.
I still recall how everything began. I made a makeshift clinic at one of the rooms of my ancestral home, it used to be my grandfather's office, but it felt old, antique, and perhaps too... professional, nothing wrong with that, but I wanted my patients to feel a more homely setting. So, I rearranged a bit, removed the imposing self portrait of my great-grandfather wearing his white coat that hang on the wall and transferred it to a more private area of the house. I changed the dim, barely functioning lights into brighter, more modern ones, removed the exceedingly extravagant chandelier and equipped the room with materials and equipment that I deemed necessary for my practice. I retained the wooden floors, but outfitted the walls with charts and more colorful decorations, in anticipation for the occasional pediatric patient. It was beginning to look less like an old abandoned house where teenagers went for the spooks and more like a place of healing and betterment, a clean place offering a clean mind...or so I hope.
"Your grandfather would have a heart attack if he wasn't dead already, seeing what you've done with his old clinic" quipped Martha, our housekeeper. All I know about Martha is that my grandfather hired her as a young teen and she has been here since then, she babysat and raised my mother as her own, and even took care of me as a toddler. Considering her age, she mostly supervises the younger and more capable help rather than doing tasks herself. None of them stay at the house, but they get called upon when me or any of my relatives were expected. Most of the family consider her as one of our own at this point.
"Well i'm sure great grandpa on the other hand enjoys the change of view" I replied jokingly. "Besides, I bet the patients would appreciate not being treated in such a dark, gloomy room."
"You know how your grandfather was..." she replies, that the idea of a dark, gloomy, old man liking dark, gloomy, old places was a no brainer. "...but everything aside, it is so nice to see you again, have you been feeling better? What did your mother think of you staying here?" she said with what I felt as outmost sincerity, "I used to chase and carry you around this estate and now look at you, about to carry out your family's legacy as a physician yourself" she continued, with a hint of pride from her tone.
I smiled. I myself couldn't think of a reason why a well respected man, revered even, by this town and it's people for everything he has done would act nonchalant and depressed, always with a jaded look in his eyes and stay in an equally dim and depressing part of his house, I've always known him to be like that, but was he always?
"I am better now. It's good to see you too, I'm glad you're staying healthy, and mom sure did not like it but well...she told me to say hi on her behalf" I told Martha. She beams up and smiles on my mother's mention.
"Well...I took the liberty of digging up your grandfather's documents, records and his patient charts, I doubt many of them still live but I thought maybe you'd like to have a look, I placed them around your desk but I can relocate them if you want me to"
"No, that's perfect. That's something I actually intended to do, i'll give it a read, thank you" I replied. I know some of those patients were either old or probably dead to be honest, but seeing data as well as the cases my grandfather had to deal with might help me in the future.
"The villagers already know Dr. Smith's grandson is here, they know you're a doctor, so expect to have a patient one of these days, perhaps as soon as you give the word that your clinic is open" Martha said, as she walks out of the room smiling and slightly waving, signalling a goodbye.
"I'm not even surprised" I think to myself. Places like these, words spreads like wildfire on topics like these, the idea of someone from a known family, coming back from the city, not to mention deciding to stay indefinitely, like the whole village needed notification, like the village demands explanation.
Hours passed and as I was satisfied with my new setup for the clinic, I took a break, sitting down and looking at the mountain of paperwork and folders placed on and around my desk. I picked one, thinking to myself that I might as well have a look now, with nothing else of note to do.
Patient #010438 Name redacted 43/Female
History of present illness: Patient had 3 day history of undocumented fever, dysuria, and bilateral flank pain Did not seek consult, no medications taken
Past Medical History Unremarkable
Personal and Social History Unremarkable
OB history illegible
Physical Examination BP 110/80 HR 102 RR 20
Nonhyperemic tonsils No murmurs Clear breath sounds Nontender abdomen (+) Kidney punch test
Noted a signature of the patient claiming she was not pregnant as a form of waiver
"Jesus grandpa, couldn't your history and physical exam get any lazier?" I thought to myself. Seeing pertinent history not asked and multiple organ systems ignored on physical examination. Given, some of the writing were already faded, the quality of the paper had deteriorated greatly, and plenty of details already illegible, all in all the documents weren't that bad. It sure doesn't help though that he writes like someone in the middle of a warzone practicing heiroglyphs.
I skimmed through more of the documents and patient files, most of the cases are relatively benign, majority are outpatient visits, some are emergency cases and there are the rare ones requiring transfer to a more developed town hours from here with better services and equipment. Time passed and as I lay down the last folder in a pile, I noticed a moderately sized box, probably the size of a briefcase, placed on the floor, dusty but obviously ornate. It piqued my interest although in my mind, I was pretty sure it was nothing but more documents, I decided to give it a look.
I picked a stack up and I started to read:
Patient #00512c Name redacted 32/Female
"Weird" I thought, it was numbered differently, and definitely none of the other documents were lettered. I continued reading:
History of present illness: This is a case of a 32 year old female who came in on date redacted due to a chief complaint of multiple hematomas, abrasions, burn wounds and lacerations on her face, trunk and extremeties..."
"Trauma? An accident? Possible abuse?" I contemplated.
"...patient allegedly noticed easy bruisability 2 weeks prior to consult, followed by alleged spontaneous appearance of abrasions and lacerations 2-3 days from onset of bruising, supposedly waking the patient at night due to the sudden sharp and searing pain, initially small cuts 3-5cm widest on her extremeties and face but eventually progressing to deep cuts measuring approximately 10-50cm on her back, chest, abdomen and lower extremeties. 1 week prior to consult, patient started noticing burning sensations on her skin, causing extreme pain and leaving reddish burn marks on her body, patient also experienced lack of appetite and inability to sleep due to loud voices and..."
"Spontaneous appearance? Easy bruising could be a lot of things, but for it to occur with 'spontaneous' abrasions and lacerations? Not to mention burn marks?" I thought out loud, having doubts about the credibility of the use of the word "spontaneous". Surely it was not an accident, considering it started 2 weeks ago with noted progression. "It could be a hematologic problem with the bruising, but that wouldn't explain the sudden appearance of cuts...maybe accompanied by a dermatologic one, the patient is prone to breaks in the skin? But then again the burn marks...the voices..." I analyzed. I was leaning towards abuse, where the cuts and bruises were inflicted by someone else and the abused, whether in some form of fear or coping, decides that it was "spontaneous" rather than inflicted, but why bother lying to yourself, perhaps the one who did it to her is a partner? Or a loved one? It made sense, someone progressively becoming more aggressive with her as time went by, becoming more and more extreme, from bruises to eventually burning.
It could a combination of illnesses to be honest, one on top of another, perhaps an overly sensitive or extremely dry skin that breaks and peels until it bleeds, an allergic reaction prompting the patient to unconciously scratch till her skin became red and lichenified, voices due to lack of sleep or a mental disorder. But looking at my grandfather's physical examination of her, none of the findings solidifies the possibility of those i've mentioned. Truth be told I also partially allowed myself to tunnel vision on the prospect of an abuse, to the point I've skipped some of the chart's contents that I deemed weren't important and tried to look for information to support my claim, or perhaps to disprove it, rookie mistake, but well, I am a rookie then.
"Patient is widowed, lives alone at a secluded area near redacted, only goes out to buy some necessities from redacted but has very minimal interaction from anyone in the village"
Okay then, either she is hiding the fact someone was with her, who is abusing her like I initially thought of, or it's self harm. "I'm pretty sure grandpa considered everything that went through my mind right now. Let me check his initial impression" I thought, with a tinge of annoyance, considering I felt that the patient lied to my grandfather, and was lying to me, decades after the fact.

1 Trauma, to consider physical abuse versus self harm;

"Alright, now we're getting somewhere" I said to myself, with a bit of pride having the same thought process as a physician with decades more experience than I do.

2 To consider mental disorder, probably psychotic - premature dementia

I chuckled. Premature dementia, didn't think i'd see that term, I thought everyone including those from his time would have used schizophrenia already, then again medicine and medical knowledge isn't as easily passed around as it is now. Psychiatry as a science would be relatively new during his time compared to other disciplines so the fact he considered it based on the patient hearing "voices"? Bravo gramps.
"Well...", I thought to myself, "...plenty of things to consider and rule out, let me check what else is there." A bit of cockiness on picking my grandfather's brain out and feeling good about my train of thought, a practice consult and so far, I'm on my way to a perfect score...

3. To consider possession probably secondary to malevolent spirit

.................
I gave the document a stern look, unmoving, unblinking, emotionless. Time has stopped, and I haven't noticed. My brain trying to digest the information, the same way my stomach would probably digest a block of steel...it's just not possible. I read one of my grandfather's diagnosis again:

3 To consider possession probably secondary to malevolent spirit

I never been one for faith. Evidence is everything. Science is everything. You can replicate it, you can prove it. Most importantly...It. Makes. Sense. I look at beliefs not based on evidence and feel nothing but skepticism if not disdain. Why won't people listen to expert opinion? Why won't people believe in facts? Why explain the unknown in such convoluted ways, requiring submission of oneself when the only thing the truth requires is but comprehension. I looked at that diagnosis feeling disappointment.
Then I felt anger. "Grandpa, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" I thought to myself. Here is a woman, full of bruises, cuts and burns all over her body, claiming that she has been suffering for weeks, barely eats or sleeps, was having auditory hallucinations, in dire need of medical, if not emotional and psychological support and one of the things that comes across your mind is possession.
I tried to calm my mind, these are records of the past anyway, I thought. Maybe it was a resignation born out of incompetence. Maybe grandpa wasn't as good of a doctor as I thought he was, that the shortcomings of his knowledge and limited technology of his time prompted him to adopt a more...liberal viewpoint to medicine. Maybe he was just superstitious himself. Maybe the people of this place had leaked some of their local beliefs into his psyche. Maybe isolation changed the man. Or maybe...just maybe...there's something to it.
I've never been one for faith. That goes for my faith in science as well. To just say that something is stupid because it doesn't align with standard, accepted scientific belief is just as detrimental as its counterpart.
I decided to investigate further when I heard the entrance to the room open with force. One of the maids leaning onto the wall by the entrance, still grasping the doorknob and evidently out of breath.
"Sir...ma'am Martha...calling...for you...says...it's...it's...an emergency..." She says in between breaths.
I quickly stood up, feeling sorry for the woman, she just ran, obviously gasping for air as she arrived at the clinic and now has to lead me back to wherever she came from with the same urgency. At first I was worried something might have happened with Martha, what the maid said didn't really give much clarity, but upon arriving at the main hall I noticed Martha, standing beside a middle aged man and woman, carrying a child, no more than 10 years old. I notice the clear panic and worry on both of their eyes as the man held the boy, who was uncontrollably shaking.
"I know you're not taking any patients yet and I was considering the time, but nobody knows what to do so I..." Martha explains, quite concerned while I ordered the parents to put the child flat on the ground, with me assessing the situation. The first thing I noticed was that the child was burning hot, "possibly febrile seizure? No, too old" I thought. I asked both the parents important details while I ordered the other maid to time the duration of the child's seizure. All the while thinking of possible diseases that may present as such, "Seizure disorder? Epilepsy? Meningitis? Encephalitis?" Eventually the shaking stopped, much to the parents' relief, and I ordered them to carry the boy as we made our way back to the clinic.
"Was this the first time it ever happened?" I inquired, as I put the child on one of the beds in the clinic, securing the corners with additional pillows, noticing the sunken face and apparent exhaustion from the boy, possibly due to the ongoing fever and the recent seizure episode. Once secured, I face the parents and continued my inquiries, I eventually explained everything, elaborating on what I believe happened, I explained that for now, lowering the fever and investigating the source were what we could address, the battery of tests I plan to do (disappointingly, most of them cannot be done here, and I would have to accompany them to a hospital on another town as soon as first light breaks), and the medications and management I plan to give. Everything proceeded as planned and I asked both parents to relax and take a breather, offering them a seat and asking the help to give them water.
Things eventually settled, little Johnny's fever subsided and color came back to him. Nowhere near clear, he can worsen anytime, but that was the best that we could do at that time. The parents were still worried, understandably so, but to an extent reassured, we have a plan after all. Martha, as well as Diane (the help from earlier), now at a calmer state. We discussed the plan, how we would travel, who would accompany us and what we would bring. Eventually, our conversations became relaxed, started to shift to other things, trivial matters, such as were they lived in the village, the date and time of my arrival, recent gossip, where Martha was more than happy to share.
"I was worried the evil spirits might have gotten my baby..." Said the mother nonchalantly, as we talked about the occurrence on a lighter note. "...that's how they got Mrs. Johnson's middle child. That poor boy was never the same after."
I smiled. Not wanting to immediately correct them and sound like an uptight individual. It's part of our culture afterall, old belief systems and a way for people to cope with loss or difficulty, who was I to deny them that. I won't approach these people the hardheaded way, but I will slowly show them the realities and truths of the things they may not understand, well, at least with regards to their health.
"Well, little Johnny is safe here, we'll do what we can" pointing to their son.
Only, their son wasn't where he was supposed to be. I look at the parents, I look at both Martha and Diane, everyone who looked at where I pointed were just as shocked as I was, a split second of silence before panic ensued. Suddenly, everyone stood up on high alert and was looking everywhere. Under covers, under the bed, corners of the room, the desk, behind curtains, hell, I saw Diane look at one of the damn drawers, as if a 10 year old would fit there.
Suddenly I heard loud vomiting, retching, followed by sounds of splashing. I follow where the sounds came from and see a large pool of black, tarry liquid at a corner of my room. I slowly trace where it was coming from and there he was...little Johnny...standing...upside down...on the ceiling.
I hear everyone in the room scream, I was probably screaming too, I couldn't remember. I do remember little Johnny screaming with us though, extremely high pitched and mockingly, with bloodshot eyes, upside down, while black liquid poured from his mouth, covering his face and dripping from his hair. How was that even possible, screaming while liters of unknown fluid dripped from his mouth? I don't know.
Then he laughed, although I was pretty sure that wasn't his voice. It was deep and guttural, it cannot be the boy's voice, it cannot be any boy's voice.
Time seemed to move in slow motion, I was noticing every detail, every expression from everyone's face, I can feel the seconds hand on my wall clock move, the slow dripping of the viscous dark liquid from little Johnny, I can feel every drop of sweat on my body. I could not cope with what i'm experiencing, was it a trick of the mind, an organized prank, have I gone mad...again? So I did the only thing I know how to do...
I tried to diagnose.
"Maybe it was dengue shock all along!" I thought to myself. "Vomiting blood, paleness, fever, an episode of seizure and definitely change in sensorium" I reasoned to myself. I was coping, and I was coping hard. I was ready to drown on my self absorbtion when a booming voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"YOU DUMB FUCK, WILL ANY ILLNESS EXPLAIN WHY YOUR FUCKING PATIENT IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN ON THE FUCKING CEILING?" Said little Johnny, or at least whoever was speaking on his behalf, because from where I'm standing, I can clearly see that the boy was not mouthing any of the words he said.
"YOU'RE A FUCKING FAILURE, DOCTORS LIKE YOU SHOULD KILL THEMSELVES! HAHAHAHA" he laughed, I never knew laughs could sound like that, as if the words were nails, and his voice box a chalkboard.
"OH WAIT, YOU FAILED AT THAT TOO DOC! FUCKING PATHETIC!"
Of all the things that were happening...a young boy hanging upside down, a mother crying on the floor hysterically, a father staring at his son, eyes wide open and mouth agape, Martha and Diane, both crying while sharing a rosary, in the act of what I assume to be prayer...the thing that snapped me out of my trance was the words that came from little Johnny. Knowledge nobody but the closest to me should know. A secret I planned to leave behind when I left the city, a wound I intended to forget as I started anew.
Visions of my memories came flashing back...medical school...overwhelming duty...familial expectations...failure...depression...my attempt...a bottle of medications...my mother...crying...on my bedside...
"LEAVE MY SON ALONE!" Johnny's father screamed. Starling everyone in the room.
Nothing matters, the past is in the past, I am better now, and that boy needs help, more than anything.
"YOUR SON? WHY DON'T WE ASK THAT CRYING WHORE IF JOHNNY REALLY IS YOUR SON" The voice says, laughing.
At that point the mother stops crying, looks up towards johnny, then towards his husband, in a state of shock. Like what the voice said is crazier than whatever was happening at the moment.
"THE ONLY REASON THAT WHORE STUCK WITH YOU WAS BECAUSE JOHNNY'S REAAAAAAAL FATHER WOULD NOT TAKE HER!" The entity says, continuing the hysteric laughter.
We were being played. It was toying with us. And from the look on the mother's face...it seems like little Johnny did not even need to lie to do it.
Then, to everyone's horror..."It" started to run.
It ran across the ceiling in a rabid frenzy, erratic and forceful, running and jumping, hopping sideways then going on all fours, still attached to the ceiling, splashing bile and blood all over the room, all the while making a "hihihi" sound...childish and terrifying. It ran and ran, repeating the same erratic change in movements, repeating the same eerie giggle until it reached the window, stopping and standing straight, it stared outside for what felt like forever...then all of a sudden...johnny just fell, like whatever was attaching him to the ceiling just gave, headfirst into the floor, giving a very audible cracking sound.
I heard a gasp from johnny's mother. I can at least detect some miniscule chest expansion, but that cracking sound cannot be anything good. As if thinking the same thing, Martha, who was the nearest to where Johnny fell, while still clinging tightly to Diane's rosary, approached the boy.
"Johnny?" She said softly, all the while approaching an inch at a time.
As she was almost at arms length of the boy's body, she gives the mother a knowing look, confirming that he was breathing. Martha suddenly produces a piece of cloth from one of the pockets of her uniform, possibly to pack the bleeding from the head. She intended to put the cloth on top of the boy's head, but looked towards my direction, urging me forward, perhaps for me to place it properly. I walk towards the boy, takes the cloth from Martha and as I fold the cloth to circle Johnny's cranium with Martha's help, the boy immediately sat up, looks at Martha and smiles ear to ear...literally ear to ear.
"GET YOUR WRINKLY HANDS OFF ME YOU DUSTY OLD FUCK!" He barks at her, Martha screams in fear and I was taken aback.
That was all the time Johnny needed to stand and jump towards the window, breaking it and running towards the mountainside. I hear his father scream his name, quickly breaking more glass so he could fit, and immediately giving chase. The mother was still on the floor, wailing towards the direction of her child and husband. Martha, in shock, still holding the cloth she intended to wrap johnny with.
It took me a while to notice Diane shaking me vigorously. "Doctor!" She screams. "Doctor Smith! What should we do!?" She voices out, with obvious desperation.
I ignored her.
I feel scared, but taking all into consideration, I predominantly feel tired. Defeated. Insulted.
I have nothing more to give in the face of whatever that thing that took Johnny was.
I slowly walk towards my desk, I open my drawer, I take a piece of paper and I pull out my pen.
Patient #00001a Name redacted 10/M
I write, giving no thoughts to the people on the same room as me, those left behind by little Johnny and his father. "Did he catch up to him? Was the boy alright now?...is his father alright?" I wonder. I'll find out soon enough, I figured, rumors spread like wildfire around here anyways.
I continued to write with resignment, absorbed in my own little world, consumed by the horror I witnessed, the breaking of my spirit, of my beliefs, the questioning of my knowledge. I want to escape it, deny it, but that's not what should be done to the truth. So I surrendered.

1 To consider possession probably secondary to malevolent spirit

END

This is my second ever time going to SNM. I wrote up about my first time and how magical it was and I'm so glad I got to go again because let me tell y'all I somehow managed to have an entirely new experience this time.
I got the Oz Guest ticket to ensure I got an Ace card, and I was the first one off the elevator. I was dropped off on the 5th floor, alone, which was quite creepy with all the hospital beds and tubs and the forest. There was no one for several minutes, and I was disoriented and couldn't find the stairs or any way out. I drifted between the tub room and the forest, and eventually a nurse appeared in the tub room. I observed her wringing clothes in water, and draping them across the tubs, staging them like they were people. This process was slow and I heard a noise in the distance so I followed that into the forest, where I saw one other guest watching the cottage in the forest. I noticed finally that there was actually a nurse inside, eyes closed, only visible from one angle so I hadn't seen her when I passed earlier.
With nothing else to do, I stood there watching for what seemed like ages. Surely, at some point, she would do something? It was so long that I thought for sure I was missing a lot of the show. I wondered if it was worth it. I wondered what the other guest was wondering. A few others passed us, but no other characters for the longest time. Then a bell chimed, and the nurse finally opened her eyes. She looked out at us, stood, and....closed the window. At this point I was sure I had just wasted my time. I was debating leaving. But no one else was moving. But surely, this was a waste of time. I turned to leave, and suddenly the nurse from the tub room appeared, crying, and the nurse inside the cottage opened the window to observe her. I must say the lighting here was excellent, but then the lighting in this show continuously impresses me. I have never been a lighting nerd but this show has made me realize how impactful lighting can be to a show. It's used masterfully in many scenes.
But back to the show. The nurse finally came out, and touched hands with the other nurse. They walked. I walked. We all wove through that forest, until the tub nurse ran suddenly, and we were running too, and then we were locked out from a gate. The tub nurse appeared in a window to the tub room, and danced as we watched. This small dance seemed to me like she was on the edge of a cliff, and her grief took her over as she fell suddenly off the edge. Not fell, leaped. I read this scene as a woman tortured by grief taking her own life, while a friend? Colleague? Observed.
Then my cottage nurse turned and walked slowly back to her cottage. She opened the door a crack, and turned, staring at me. I stepped closer. She opened it further. Cautiously, I stepped inside. She closed the door behind us. What transpired next was a magical experience I will not soon forget, with the taste of tea on my lips and whispered words about a moon like decayed bark and a sun like a wilted sunflower and stars like flies pinned to place. Blood will have blood...
I left and there was no one outside the cottage or indeed in the forest at all. I made my way through it and the tub room and finally found another hallway. I'm going to be honest, I do forget where I wandered then, and I may definitely be mixing up the order in which the following scenes happened because the night was a fever dream. But I witnessed scenes I did not see the first time I went last month. Somehow, by luck, other than the ending scene and the rave I did not see any duplicate scenes.
I saw the porter - who I don't think I ever encountered last time - and his dance in the hotel lobby is my new favorite. It's so full of raw joy, and though he was clearly an older man he danced with boyish jubilance that was infectious. More than a few of us observers were absolutely dancing along with him as we watched. I also found his interactions with the Boy Witch fascinating and their choreography at the telephones was my favorite by far.
The Boy Witch was another character I only saw in the ballroom and the rave last time, but who I witnessed several scenes with this time around. He's far too fast for me to follow, but I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time several times throughout the show. It was the same actor as last time, and I have to saw I think he plays the character really well. He's clearly sought after by everyone he encounters, seducing and drawing people in. I loved every scene with him almost as much as the Porter. Also, is the snake tattoo his or his characters? It's really beautiful, either way.
I saw two very intimate scenes with the Bald Witch, who I wondered how I missed last show but found out I didn't - she wears a wig through part of the show 😅 The little room she cleans up in a few times throughout the show off the side of the lobby is where I encountered her most. Once solo, and I felt almost bad I stepped into the room with her because I'm not small and I know I partially blocked the view of people outside of the room but fortune favors the bold right? I did try to squeeze myself into a corner, which only resulted in another person coming in to fully block the view from the hallway. That person caught the eye of the bald witch instead of me (I should have just stayed out blocking them 😤) and was allowed to touch her head in a very intimate moment.
The second time I caught her in there was by following a woman whose character name I don't know, after the ballroom scene where the two of them move the trees and then embrace. This time I did not care if I blocked people, me and one other person were in the room and watched the two women clean themselves up and reapply makeup. When the other woman left, I stayed with the bald witch (now wearing a wig), who fascinated me.
At some point I ended up in the rave bar before the rave began. I didn't know the "Hell Here" sign changed to "Hello There" before the rave! Every time I had seen it previously it had the o and t unlit. I saw Hecate readying for the rave. The music changed, and she danced, and eventually she made gasping sounds. Each gasp seemed to be a summoning. A ritual, drawing the other characters towards her. Her scream initiated the rave, and this time I had front row view from a different angle than I had previously, so it was like seeing it new all over again. Every bit as incredible, but different enough to feel like a brand new experience. And again, the lighting, seriously I'm a lighting whore after this show. I will forever judge theater experiences by their use of lighting compared to this show now. I hope whoever is in charge of lighting design is paid handsomely because seriously their work really drives the story. The music too, but I'm more impressed by the lighting tbh.
After the rave, I debated trying for the Hecate 1 on 1 since I knew what triggered it from last show, but I wanted to try new experiences this time so I tried to follow the Boy Witch instead. But I couldn't keep up, and there were too many people, and the next thing I knew I was by myself wandering empty halls again.
I can't remember if this happened before or after the rave, but I saw Agnes in the hall with all the shops. She went into a bedroom, and lay to sleep, where the tailor (not sure that's the characters actual title?) snuck in through the closet and put her capelet over her as she slept. When he left, she woke, and she locked the door to the room. I watched her put on makeup, and then go into the closet. Me and the 3 others watching kind of looked at each other, wondering if we should follow. Two of them tried the door, to find it's locked. Once I knew that I plowed into the closet and had a delirious thought about going to Narnia but no, I just ended up back in the shops hallway, where I saw Agnes meet the man who had covered her when she slept, and together they went into the clothier, and danced as he presented her with fabrics to choose from, and when he left she stole his money, and he brought her flowers, and then she went back to her room. She went next to the detective agency, and wrote a letter which I couldn't read despite trying over her shoulder (I'm a creep, this show makes me feel like such a voyeur lol).
At some point I ended up back in the lobby, watching the porter and the Boy Witch and two women and I think MacBeth? Dancing on the lobby desk, which was wonderfully choreographed again. Instead of following the others I stayed with the porter and situated myself in front of him as he made a tiny boat out of a card. Then Agnes was there, ringing the bell for the porter, and I realized then we'd had a reset because I had seen this scene already. I went to take the boat origami, but as I reached for it another guest snatched it away - like literally, she had been pressed to my side the entire scene, her fingers twitching so she clearly knew the opportunity would be coming. I thought that was a little uncalled for, but whatever, I'd already had a few very special moments today I wasn't going to let one instance sour anything.
I left to find another scene as I had watched this one already, and ended up back at the Manderlay bar by accident. Took that opportunity to use the restroom and grab a quick drink because a woman was singing and she had a lovely voice. Listened until her song was done and when I went to leave, the guy who was the greeter at the start of the show asked if I want to enter a different way, and took me in through the "main" entrance which somehow I had never gone in through before?? This deposited me in the lobby of the hotel of course, and I wandered until I encountered two people running towards each other and embrace, sobbing. The man went on, and far too many people followed him so I followed the woman, who went into the room with the lit cross where Duncan(?) body is. She unwrapped him and used true loves kiss to bring him back to life. Together they went to the ballroom and danced, which was beautiful. Then she left, and I followed our resurrected Duncan because I had NO IDEA he came back to life at any point from last show so I was like bro what are you gonna do with your new life??? Well, he decided to retrace his steps of course, clearly confused and slowly remembering what had happened to him as he went first to the cross room, then to the place of his murder, then through to the room he dances in before his murder, and then he went running. I tried keeping up but well, I am not a runner.
Somewhere along the way I end up back in the ballroom, having followed someone I encountered in the hall. I thought oh great, banquet again, let me wander and see if anything else happens elsewhere since I have already seen this? But as I went to leave, the Porter and a woman came in, and positioned themselves in the back of the ballroom. I had not seen this before as I'm usually at the front, so I decided to stay and see if they do anything interesting. And this is when I realized the show was ending, because the banquet turned into a hanging, and we were then all ushered out.
Second time going to this show, and I feel I saw a whole new show having witnessed so many scenes I hadn't seen last time. I wonder how many more I am missing? I hope to see it once more next month, and maybe finally see the entire show and put together the pieces of plot. I definitely feel that this time I was able to absorb more, and found myself actually applying motives and thoughts and words to scenes that had none. I love that there are very few spoken scenes - it leaves the experience up to the beholder to interpret, and I know from reading others recaps that we all kind of notice different inflections that mean different things to us and change how we view a scene. I'm only sorry i waited so long to see this show - I wish I could have seen it more often to truly capture all of it.
But, I may have another chance next month! Until then, I for one will definitely be getting a good nights sleep after all that walking today 😂