Did ivf and my hcg is low

*disclaimer - not an IVF patient, but an egg freezing patient.
So I want kids more than anything in the world, am finally in a spot financially that I can freeze my eggs without blowing my savings, but I'm a career changerelatively new in my field (work as a dietitian in a hospital) and know I'm at a minimum ~5 years out from being ready to have kids.
All of the above being said, I've been researching the egg freezing process for the last year, and because I'm young (turned 28 recently) and I know I have time on my side, I recently got my arm implant taken out (March 19) because I know it can artificially deplete my AMH levels, and had my initial ultrasound + bloodwork drawn last week to undergo the egg freezing process.
I fully prepared myself for the possibility that my AMH would come back a little bit on the lower side after being on Nexplanon for ~7 years and only recently having it taken out, but I wasn't expecting the results that I got.
My AMH came back at a 0.5, and my FSH came back at a 16, + I had 5 follicles on each ovary. My doctor didn't say anything about the other hormones they looked at (did mention my Vit D came back a hair low and my TSH was WNL), so I'm assuming everything else looked okay (+ he also mentioned that my uterus and my ovaries both looked good).
We decided to hold off on egg freezing for at least a few more months to give the hormones from Nexplanon a little bit more time for clear out of my system, but I can't tell if I'm being optimistic or am in serious denial about my ovarian reserve, given the expected AMH lab range for my age group is between 2.5-3.0, from what I've gathered.
I see this all of the time with patients at the hospital, so I know firsthand that you can do "everything right" from a lifestyle/health standpoint and still get hit with a life altering diagnosis - but I'm really struggling here. I'm young, I've been pregnant before (it was when I was 20, but still, I can count on one hand the number of times I've had unprotected sex, and one of them resulted in an unplanned pregnancy), I don't drink/smoke/do drugs, I've always been at a healthy weight/exercise regularly and have been pescetarian for ~9 years (was a personal trainer for years + am now a dietitian), and aside from being a neurotic/anxious f*ck, I don't have any health problems or anything in my history that would predispose me to diminished ovarian reserve, at least not as far as I know? (i.e. I've never had an STI, my paps come back normal, I don't have diabetes/high cholesterol/high blood pressure/PCOS, before Nexplanon my periods were normal, etc.)
The one thing I can think of is that my mom struggled for ~3 years to get pregnant with me (+ had a miscarriage before I was born), but she started trying when she was 33, hence why I decided to go through this process as young as I am. My mom also equates her struggles with infertility to stress (she was in a very high-stress job and was under a lot of pressure to stay thin, fashion industry), and when she finally *did* get pregnant with me at when she was 36, it was right after she was laid off + finally had a break from work. She never did IVF or any sort of fertility treatment, and she had me at 37 and my brother at 40.
IDK, I'm rambling now. Just curious if anyone has been through anything similar, or if anyone has any words of wisdom/comfort. I'm just *so* beyond glad I looked into this process and got this news now, because at least I know I have time of my side, and can prepare accordingly if I need to do multiple rounds of egg freezing.

Turning 40 this week, had ER#1 in March, AFC 11, 8 retrieved, 5 mature, 4 fertilized (ICSI), 1 made it to day 7 blast (3BB), froze that but opted not to spend my $ on PGTa of 1 embryo that has a very likely low chance of implanting.
What I learned from speaking to the embryologists was that I had “not poor but not great” egg quality. My eggs looked dark and grainy in some areas, one of them was so fragile it did not survive ICSI.
My question is for all those expressing how they get multiple blasts but then pgta test them and get aneuploids - is this due to poor egg quality? Or are those of you who are getting blasts told that they have “good egg quality”?
I’m having a hard time being convinced that my next #2 ER (and last round, can’t afford more) will be any different than the last round if the issue is my egg quality. My RE is suggesting a 2nd round because she says other cycles can be different.
My AMH is 1.0, DOR, FSH 14. otherwise all things are normal. Husband had a vasectomy reversal 1.5 yrs ago, morphology slightly low at 2% but otherwise normal. 3 failed IUI’s prior to IVF. And overall trying for 14 months, have never had a positive pregnancy.
1st cycle did microdose Lupron Flare plus omnitrope and HCg 10k trigger.
She plans on adding clomid and doing a Lupron Trigger in attempts to yield more eggs and keeping omnitrope.
I feel like giving up. I’m sure you all understand the feeling.

I am 25F and the father is 34M. I am going to be brutally honest, please no judgement.
We met at work when I was 23F and he was 32M, I flirted with him HARD for months and then he told me he was recently engaged after dating for six years. We had an emotional affair only, and he ended up terminating his engagement. We dated for around 8-9 months before breaking up. Immediately, I regretted breaking up. We tried no contact but it didn't ever really stick because we still loved each other and we couldn't part ways. I ended up finding out he got back together with his ex-fiancé less than two months after our breakup. We were still no contact, but a physical, full-blown affair ended up arising and lasted this past year and a half. I have never loved anyone more than him, and I did it for love. I wanted a life with him and I wanted to marry him and have a family with him. He admitted that he wanted those things too and he went back to her too quickly. I thought he loved me the way I loved him and it was just complicated for him to leave her because of their history. He never did leave her, even through a year of me showing up for him to show him I was ready for the things he thought I wasn't ready for.
Flash forward to today, I'm pregnant for the second time. I was first pregnant end of March 2024 during the affair (*Note: we are no contact now and he is blocked everywhere). I texted him the picture of the positive pregnancy test and he told me his ex-fiancé now girlfriend is pregnant too. My heart sank and I felt ill. I told my family the next day that I was pregnant and was in an affair for the past year and a half. I needed my mom and support and help. They were obviously unhappy with him getting two women pregnant at the same time. They wanted me to abort, however I've always wanted to be a mother, I have a good job and could afford the child on my own, and I was pro-choice for every woman on the planet but thought I would never be in this position. Four days later, I miscarried. My mother had many miscarriages before pregnancy stuck for her. I had bloodwork at my OB/GYN office and they tracked my HCG levels until I was low enough for them to confirm the pregnancy was nonviable.
I told him I miscarried and he came over a few times to see me. We ended up having unprotected sex after the miscarriage not knowing that I could get pregnant that quickly. I thought my body's cycle was so thrown off that I wouldn't ovulate for at least a month - 6 weeks. I woke up one day with really heavy breasts and tender nipples and took one of the tests that I had leftover from my first pregnancy just to see if I could be pregnant. Sure enough, pregnant. I told him the news and he said he was very clear that he did not want me to get pregnant. He thought I did it on purpose because he knows I want children and to be a mother. He said he would be here for an abortion but that I had to work around his girlfriend's schedule with her doctor's appointments for her pregnancy. I blocked him everywhere. If I go through with the abortion, I shouldn't have to do it on his/her schedule. He has kept this (me and my pregnancies and our affair) from her since the beginning. She has no idea that I am pregnant and he doesn't want her to know. I can't tell her because I'm in the wrong too. I knew he was with her and I still participated because I loved him and thought he would wake up one day and see that it was supposed to be us in the end.
If I have this child, I can afford to do it on my own and without financial help from him. He has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with the pregnancy or with me, and that he doesn't want me to keep the pregnancy. I am attached to this pregnancy the longer it goes on and it is so extremely difficult for me to accept that I may have to get an abortion. If I keep the baby, I don't want to tell him that I am keeping the pregnancy. I don't want him involved and I don't want him to ask for split custody. I can't share my child with her too. I have a consult Tuesday for the pills. I have to get an ultrasound first because of my previous miscarriage. I don't want to lose another pregnancy, this time on purpose. I am so emotionally distraught and alone. What would you do? How do you get through it? I tell myself that through this dumpster fire of a situation something good can come out of it. I can be a mother and love the child more than anything and create a good life for us. I will be a good mother and I can just tell people the dad isn't in the picture and leave it at that.
I am dealing with a lot of bitterness towards the father and I won't tell his girlfriend now because truly she has done nothing wrong and this will wreck her. I don't want to hurt an innocent bystander in this. I just know I wouldn't be in this position if he stepped up. I wouldn't have to consider abortion if he was here. It's the fact that I would do this on my own that my family wanted me to have one in the first place. Lots of people I know had accidental pregnancies but they all married the father of their child. I would be a single mother by choice. I am okay with that but I don't know if society is. I want to do the right thing but I'm overwhelmed with emotions. I worry I am going to keep the child selfishly so that I can avoid the absolute plummeting heartbreak of losing another pregnancy/being reminded the man I wanted more than anything doesn't want me or his child. I would love this child with everything in me. I would support this child and make sure that I would minimize the damage of the situation on my child. I can raise a well-adjusted child. I have so much love to give.
TLDR: I am pregnant with his child but he is expecting a baby with his girlfriend currently. I can do it on my own but should I? Should I have an abortion?

Hi all! So in late February I experienced a chemical pregnancy. For some background this was our first pregnancy after my significant other(SO) had to have surgical and chemo treatment for testicular cancer two years ago.
We did start consults with fertility and he is booked for analysis but this has not yet happened. Prior to his diagnosis we were blessed to have two successful and seemingly easy pregnancies.
Excitingly, I have been getting positive results from this cycle since 11dpo.
Fertility specialists wanted HCGs which started at 12dpo which only came back at 15.2 [which per the Dr. was indeterminate but likely due to gestational age) and progesterone at 14 (for which I start suppository treatment).
Had my repeat HCG drawn early this AM (around the 66hr mark) and results were only at 23.9 at 15dpo. I’m feeling like I need to prepare my heart for this being another chemical pregnancy since the values haven’t doubled.
Anyone have similar experiences or even maybe success with even such low HCG values?

I’m 7 weeks postpartum. I had the worst pregnancy imaginable. I was sick constantly and had to take leave off of work. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hated being pregnant.
We are 100% a one and done family. I make more than my husband and cannot spend another year that sick. We also had a very traumatic birth and stay in the NICU.
So why am I suddenly fantasizing about having another baby? It’s almost constant. I cry every time my baby reaches a milestone because I’ll never experience it again.
My newborn is just such a joy and I’ve had a lovely postpartum recovery physically (obviously I have some emotions to work out).
We did IVF because we had a difficult time conceiving and I almost told my husband last night we should stop using birth control because the chances are so low. I didn’t because it would feel like a lie not to tell him I was secretly hoping I’d get pregnant again. I’m not about to manipulate the him with this.
But… What is wrong with me? Why can’t I shake this? When will this go away? This is very out of character for me.

I’m 7 weeks postpartum. I had the worst pregnancy imaginable. I was sick constantly and had to take leave off of work. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hated being pregnant.
We are 100% a one and done family. I make more than my husband and cannot spend another year that sick. We also had a very traumatic birth and stay in the NICU.
So why am I suddenly fantasizing about having another baby? It’s almost constant. I cry every time my baby reaches a milestone because I’ll never experience it again.
My newborn is just such a joy and I’ve had a lovely postpartum recovery physically (obviously I have some emotions to work out).
We did IVF because we had a difficult time conceiving and I almost told my husband last night we should stop using birth control because the chances are so low. I didn’t because it would feel like a lie not to tell him I was secretly hoping I’d get pregnant again. I’m not about to manipulate the him with this.
But… What is wrong with me? Why can’t I shake this? When will this go away? This is very out of character for me.

This has been beta hell and then some. Attaching an image of my betas but basically we transferred 2 day 5 frozen embryos. We had a solid first beta but then the number hardly rose at all for the next two betas and I was told to expect an early miscarriage. Then it did start doubling more or less normally. I was told maybe the beta issue was an early vanishing twin. We had an early ultrasound at 5+4 to check for placement. First ultrasound showed one small 5mm gestational sack in the uterus. Fast forward to yesterday we had a follow up ultrasound at 6+5 and were surprised to see not one, but 2 gestational sacs. One definitely had a yolk sac and the tech was fairly certain she saw it in the other as well. No fetal poles seen. My hcg the day prior was 9200 so was probably in the range of 10,000-13,000 at the time of ultrasound. Tech didn’t seem worried and said you’re probably just earlier than you thought, but we did IVF so that’s not possible. The sacs are both measuring around 8-10mm. I have to now wait to repeat at 8weeks. But the fact that the one sac grew only at most about 5mm in 7 days and that there was no fetal poles at 6+5 and that my hcg is only around 10,000 with 2 sacs is all bad news. Is there any hope for this at all?

Hi everyone,
Me (F, 33) and husband (M, 33) have been TTC for ~3 years now, 1.5 years with IVF treatment. Never conceived/got pregnant yet. I have been quietly lurking in the subs here and some of your posts/comments have been helpful in many ways. This is my first post here.
History/tests done and results for me so far: Normal TSH, DHEA-S 294.8 ug/dl, AMH 1.21 ng/mL (low for my age?!). Have PCOS. No abnormal gene carrier, normal karyotyping results, no Lupus, no Anticardiolipin Ab, no HBSAg, no autoimmune diseases. HyCosy/HSG/MRI revealed left fallopian tubes was blocked and had adhesions along with the left ovary. Also learnt through the IVF cycles that my left ovary doesn't do much - barely any eggs retrieved from the left ovary, most eggs are coming from my right ovary. I also had surgery to remove polyps and uterus septum before any IVF cycles. I also had low Vit D for ~3 years, at normal levels now with taking regular supplements. Now I am actively trying to lose some weight to see if it helps (??!!) - weight in March 2024 was 196 lbs., current weight is 182 lbs. (height is 5'3"). Trying to lose more weight - walking 10K steps a day, focusing more on protein intake, low carb, clean eating no junk.
History/tests done and results for husband so far: 1 out 3 tests showed slightly abnormal sperm morphology. Sperm DNA Fragmentation Assay (SDFA) score 19 (borderline between 'normal odds' and 'reduced odds' of success). No abnormal gene carrier. Normal karyotyping results. No autoimmune diseases.
Supplements/medications I am taking: Prenatal, Vit D, Vit C, CoQ10, Omega3, Alpha lipoleic acid, Seed probiotics, Metformin.
Supplements/medications husband is taking: Multi-vitamin, Vit D, CoQ10, Omega3
IVF retrieval and transfer history/timeline:
1st retrieval in May 2023: Used GonalF 375 IU, MenoPur 150 IU, Cetrotide 0.25 mg. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 10 eggs, only 1 of those could be frozen after PGT-A. Used ICSI for this cycle.
FET in July 2023: Used oral Medrol, oral and vaginal estradiol, crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day and PIO every 3 days. Transferred 1 PGT-A tested Day 5 embryo (4BB) - ended in chemical pregnancy.
2nd retrieval in end of Sept 2023: Used Clomid flare, GonalF 450 IU, MenoPur 150 IU, Cetrotide 0.25 mg. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 10 eggs, only 3 of those could be frozen after PGT-A. Used ICSI, Zymot for this cycle.
Fresh transfer in Oct 2023: Used only Crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day. Transferred 1 untested Day 5 embryo - No implantation.
FET again in Nov 2023: Used oral Medrol, oral and vaginal estradiol, crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day and PIO every 3 days. Transferred the remaining 2 PGT-A tested Day 5 embryos (4AB and 5AA), also used embryo glue - No implantation.
Doc suggested removing my blocked left fallopian tube -- had laparoscopic salpingectomy surgery in Feb 2024. Took uterine tissue biopsy samples during surgery - normal results, Doc mentioned no endometriosis.
3rd retrieval in April 2024: Used Lupron 10 IU, GonalF 300 IU, MenoPur 300 IU. Trigger with 10,000 IU HCG. Retrieved 8 eggs, 2 of these made it to blasts, none frozen. Used PICSI for this cycle. I was also on Dexamethasone.
Fresh transfer in May 2024: Used only Crinone progesterone vaginal gel once a day. I was also on Medrol, baby Aspirin and Doxycycline. On top of this, I added Pepcid, Claritin, Benadryl. Transferred 2 untested Day 3 embryos - No implantation (got beta result yesterday, also got my periods right after the blood draw in the morning, was devastated).
I have also tried eating pineapple core, beet+pomogrenate juice, McD fries, sex the night before transfer - all of it.
I am at a loss, I do not know what to do now. I am sitting and sobbing here as I am writing this. Thankfully, my insurance covers most testing and procedures, except PGT-A and my medication has copays. But this process is so emotionally draining. My husband is super supportive and tries to keep a positive vibe all the time, but I feel bad for us. Also, it is so hard to keep a nice face at work - no one (family, friends, colleagues) knows we are TTC with IVF.
What are we missing here? I feel like I have implantation issues? Any more testing? What else can I do?
Please let me know what worked for you, what more can be done in my case to have a successful pregnancy. ANY help is appreciated. TIA.

I feel like I have no right to be exhausted yet as I've only done one cycle of sims and one ER. But as per our results, my doctor is telling me I need to go for another cycle of sims and ER right away. Thanks, low AMH, you stupid bitch. My body feels exhausted. I'm only 27 and never in my wildest dreams did I expect that I would have to do IVF. The worst part is, I live with my sister-in-law who got pregnant immediately after she got married. She's currently off on her one month long babymoon to Japan with her cute 4 month belly. And here I am, going to the doctor everyday, getting poked and prodded at and have my bits hanging out for everyone to see, with no guarantees. There's bruises all over my thighs and stomach from the injections, and my doctor had me take progesterone shots following my ER just in case we'd do a FT, and so both my asscheeks are sore. My boobs are sore. I have insane cramping in my uterus. My body feels like it weighs a 1000 kilos. My MIL knows about my IVF and she won't stop talking to me about it even though I've told her a million times that I don't want this process to take over my life. But it has. I don't even remember who I was before infertility ruined everything. I can't remember the last time my husband and I had sex for pleasure and not as a challenge to procreate. I am tired and moody and I'm just DONE with this. Sorry for the word vomit. I'm just so, so over this.

I had 2 failed IVFs. 39 Female, low amh, DOR. Being directed to donor eggs, but when I browse donor profiles, next moment I keep thinking wish I could use my own eggs too.
Sometimes I blame myself for not doing Family planning on time, and every one around me is so fertile that I feel more lonely & disheartened.
Then next moment I roll up my sleeves and start browsing the donor profile.
Feels like I am living in two minds and I have a huge scary feeling what if the donor program fails too, I will feel more inferior.This is so unfair and these anxiety and feelings are so tricky.
Please suggest anything. Am I being too week? I did not even yield more than 1-2 eggs and I feel sad about this only everyday. How could my eggs vanish without telling me ? Or for gods sake why didn’t they respond to medicines:(

I just finished up an IVF med round. It's the second ivf round I've done. I've done 2 IUI cycles, 2 FET transfer cycles, and this was my 2nd ivf med round.
Everything was looking amazing. I had 26 eggs on the sonogram, and I was convinced Menopur was a magical drug. The first time I did the ivf cycle, it was during a nationwide shortage of menopur, so we used HCG instead. The first ivf round I did, i got 17 eggs. 11 made it overnight, 8 survived the 5 day wait, and I had 5 healthy blasts after PGA testing. Unfortunately, all 5 were male embryos, and I had been very vocal from the beginning that I only wanted to implant female embryos. There's a history of severe medical issues with the males in my family, and I just wanted to mitigate that with females only.
Even with the male eggs, I tried. I did an FET cycle and the first one failed. Second FET we implanted 2 eggs, both attached. One didn't grow, but the other one split and I had identical twins. I 'graduated' from the fertility Dr. at 12 weeks, the next Dr told me to stop the progesterone and estrogen, and I miscarried at 13 weeks. That left me with 2 embryos from the first round.
After the miscarriage, I decided I was going to do another ivf round to try to get females, which is what led me to now. 26 eggs on the ultrasound, I woke up and the Dr told me I had 19 eggs harvested, got a call the next day that only 7 eggs made it overnight but there was a problem with the sperm and only 1 fertilized. Husband had to go and make another donation, he did, but apparently it was too late. Only one embryo made it overnight, and who knows if that one will make it to day 5.
Doctor said it was the perfect storm of he thinks he waited a few day too long to do the retrieval, husband's sperm was messed up for some unknown reason, and the entire cycle was pretty much a bust. $8k worth of meds and 2 weeks of injections into my stomach.. All for nothing.
I just want to give up so bad. Just accept that I'm not meant to have kids. Maybe adopt. Maybe drop $50k and have one or two of the remaining embryos transferred into a surrogate. I don't know. I'm just lost and really hurt.
Thanks for reading.

I had an IVF 5-day Embryo Transfer on May 8th. I had my blood drawn today and they said my HCG is at a 158. The plan is to check it again on Monday (2 days). I thought 158 seemed really low considering I transferred two embryos. I had tested at home prior to getting bloodwork and that was 5 days ago. I’m just thinking if my HCG was high enough to be detected by a home pregnancy test 5 days ago, and it doubles every 24-48 hours, shouldn’t it be higher than 158?
Anyone else had a similar experience?

I had a TFMR in September at 21 weeks and have had sex everyday in my window since. Period has been consistent. In March, I began pursuing IVF due to the fear of having our rare genetic anomaly (COACH syndrome, and acronym for 5 terrible disorders) pop up in another pregnancy. While still TTC, we discovered through all the fertility testing that some of my hormone levels were low. This month, i feel like my body is finally normalizing its hormones because my acne is out of control! My face, chest, neck, and back have so many cystic zits. Pregnancy did clear my skin up, as a life long suffer of acne I loved it.
A little more background info: I turn 35 in June. My first pregnancy ever was my TMFR at 21 weeks. It took only 3 months of “lazily” TTC to conceive her, meaning we didn’t use all 6 days to our advantage. We recently got notified that we got accepted for one cycle of an IVF grant that schedules our egg extraction in July, I’d start the fertility meds at the beginning of June.
I am tempted to keep TTC naturally, today the first day in my window, due to the fact that there is only a 40 percent chance of successful embryos the first round of IVF. My cousin, who has no prior fertility issues and shares an unrelated genetic carrier than mine with her husband, took 3 cycles to produce any viable embryos.
My question is, do I relax and take the next two months off a natural pregnancy in the hopes of IVF with PGT being successful? Or do I roll the dice and hope I don’t need to have an abortion at 3 months, when we can do genetic testing?
What if IVF doesn’t work and I wasted the summer TTC, and what happens to my scheduled IVF cycle, can I push it back to wait to see if the hypothetical pregnancy is viable at three months?
Is it desire or grief that is clouding my judgement? My husband is up for TTC naturally and also waiting for IVF these next two months, so I need help from people who understand what I am going through. Am I inpatient?

We’ve been married for 3 years and together for 7. When I met my husband we did long distant for about 4 months before moving in together, during that four months we talked from the time I would wake up to the time I went to bed. Once my husband moved in things started to change. As expected though so I just blew it off and assumed it to be “normal”.
This is my take on the what happen the next 3 years: My husband had never lived away from home, at 27 he moved out and was hit with a whole new life of responsibilities. (Bills, household chores, having someone else to look out for) this huge change in his life I THINK scared him. He became way more anxious, and it was very quickly noticed there was a lack of financial responsibility. Which then changed our relationship a little. When we were long distance he was like a literal dream. Caring, supportive, loving (constantly providing validation- my love language) but it seemed now those things took the back burner. I come from a less than middle class family. Divorced parents, have step/half siblings, spent 6 years of my life with someone abusive. So as you can imagine even with this change I was still all in and “happy”. I was able to go to school and get a degree. Which landed me a job and helped me make connections that today are still paying for themselves. I got my husband a side gig to make more money and it took off. We were able to actually live, not just pay bills and “survive”. It didn’t last long, because it seems like my husband lost motivation. He has always been the top earner supporting most of the household. So with this side gig taking off he was getting burnt out spending his 8-5 working a full time job and then coming home and working his side gig from 6- all hours of the night. It quickly became a lot. So a year after we bought a house he took his side gig full time and quit his “real job”. Looking back this was a huge mistake. But live and learn. Once he became “his own boss” (quotes because one of my connections- hired him as a contractor so yes he is his own boss/business but he still gets paid from someone else) it’s like things just got worse instead of better. Motivation wise. It was like he was constantly working but there was not a lot of finished product to justify the HOURS AND DAYS spent “working”. The expectation was to take on more clients and make more money. That didn’t happen. Our first year in the house he was doing both jobs and we were LIVINNN. I was feeling my best. I felt secure, we weren’t living paycheck to paycheck. But once he went full time on the side gig we took a 40k dollar pay cut. We quickly realized sustainability was LOW. During this time we’ve been trying to start a family and that’s a whole topic for another post but long story short we need to do IVF. Throughout the first year of him being his own boss I realized a few things. This man has ZERO accountability. ZERO motivation. And it’s driving me nuts to put it short. I am constantly guiding him, telling him what he should be doing, prioritizing, etc. We started to become behind on bills, so I talked to him about selling the house, a home we had only been in a year and change. It was HARD. But I watched my parents struggle and I just couldn’t do it myself. This also created a set back for my husband. He felt like a failure, and it did the opposite of what I thought it would. Instead of motivating him to work harder it did the opposite. I did do side jobs to help bring in extra cash. And forgive me - but I just felt like it was his responsibility to go back to a 8-5 job to help get us back on track but he refused. Refused to do more than what he was so that left us in a situation. I work in the medical field so my pays not terrible but the hours and work were long and hard. So working side jobs wasn’t easy for me. It was exhausting. I thought my husband would see this, and for lack of better words step up to the ffffing plate and be a man. But I was wrong. I’m losing love for him. We’ve been married 3 years and the last two years have been hell. Seems like as each day, month, year that passes I continue to fall out of love. There’s obviously so much more to this story, nothing really positive though.
I know I’m not the person he first met anymore and I want to make it clear I wasn’t expecting him to stay the same. BUT I was expecting to grow and build together and get even better instead we’re going in the opposite direction.
We did end up selling the house, we’ve literally given up so much, and still decisions fell on me, and choices were made by me.
Our journey to having a family is on halt.
Do I cut my losses and walk away?
Also- yes he is on medications for anxiety/ADHD. Yes he sees a therapist.

I’m 9 months pp, with an EBF baby after doing IVF. Our breastfeeding journey had a rough start as I was a low producer and had to triple feed, pump around the clock etc for ages to build my supply. It worked and we’ve been happily nursing ever since, which I’m really grateful for.
We want to transfer our second embryo (which will be our last baby) at the end of the year. However, I’ve not gotten my period back yet and I have a feeling I’m gonna be one of those people who get it back only after weaning.
On top of that, I have a history of thin uterine lining, so my doctor would like me to have a few cycles before we do a transfer, to make sure my lining is healthy and in a good place for the transfer. He said he also prefers to transfer after weaning to improve our chances of success.
This means I’d have to wean basically around September in hopes of getting my period back, and having at least 2-3 cycles before December. My baby will be 14 months then, and I know I won’t be ready. Right now she still prefers milk to solids, and still nurses several times a day and once at night.
My husband agrees that it’s early to wean because breastfeeding is going so well, and there’s a chance I might wean and end up not having a successful transfer anyway. We landed on waiting until 18 months pp, and if I haven’t got my period back by then, we’ll start the weaning process to prep for the transfer.
I feel sad though, because I’d really like for our babies to have a 2 year gap if possible (I’m in my 40s now, so don’t want to wait much longer).
Would love to hear from others who’ve had to navigate the decision to wean for IVF, when and how you did it, when you got your period back after weaning, and if you had a successful transfer in the end.
Thank you!

Hey guys, I cannot put into words the devastation today. Last week at 5w1d, we had an emergency ultrasound at our clinic due to heavy bleeding with clots. Where I was diagnosed SCH. Ultrasound showed gest.sac, fetal pole, great growth for gest age and flicker. Clinic reassured us that SCH is common with IVF. Thought all was well. Same night, I passed a good amount of large sized clots. Bleeding stopped day after. As the days went by, I had some intermittent cramping here and there but no bleeds.
Fast forward to this morning at 6w1d, was hoping to hear his heartbeat... but to our dismay, there was nothing. Well I couldn't see anything. PA says they see a sac, but he did not grow, there's no fetal pole, no flicker. To me, the uterus looked real empty. I couldn't even make out the sac they kept talking about
Clinic drew my hcg. Which I received via online portal before they called me. Last HCG at 16dpt was 2175, today it was at 20 at 6w1d....
Clinic informed me they are re-running the lab bc they couldn't believe the significant drop to hcg of 20 and still seeing the sac. Advised me to continue meds and return for an US on Monday despite expecting a miscarriage. They are saying they are hoping for some growth, and that hoping the hcg lab value is not really 20....but I feel like I really lost my baby already...
Just so hard to keep pushing, continuing meds etc
I guess I just need to vent. Hope for a miracle story from someone that went through this, maybe words of affirmation, support... Haven't had the guts to open up to family yet...

I’ve just done my first round of ovulation induction. I’ve come back with a positive blood test for pregnancy at 10/11 DPO and 13 DP trigger shot. My hcg was 150. The nurses said it’s a positive but low hcg levels. I’ve since looked at technically it’s still in range. I have to have another blood test in a couple days to see how the hcg levels trend. Im wondering if this has happened to anyone else and did your pregnancy continue healthily. This is my third pregnancy (1 earthside, first pregnancy ended in miscarriage) I can’t remember my levels for both those pregnancies.

TW: miscarriage, child loss, traumatic MMC
Hey all, I lost my baby in December 2023, a month after losing my father. I was about 10 weeks, had a missed miscarriage and found out at our 11 week appointment. I hemorrhaged at home with the misoprostol, husband had to call an ambulance- and I was hospitalized, fainting episodes and several blood transfusions…then two weeks later needed a D&C due to the amount of tissue left. So you can see I had a traumatic miscarriage. My husband and I went through extensive genetic testing and were avoiding pregnancy until we got the clear. We were about to start IVF since the fertility doctor told me I have low egg count (directly correlates with low quality) and would be advantageous to know if the embryo is good quality… well lo and behold I’m pregnant. My body went totally rogue and ovulated when I did not expect it to. So I am 6 weeks and 1 day today. I had my ultrasound. There is a heartbeat, size looking good, baby is in my uterus, everything looks good. Husband and I left the clinic and I have had two full blown panic attacks. It is visceral- I would love nothing more than to feel excited, but I cannot help but feel overwhelming fear and anxiety. For those who have gone through pregnancy after loss, how did you cope? What would you tell yourself that helped you get through? I appreciate any advice.

Today marks the anniversary of the murders of Aarushi Talwar and Hemraj Banjade.
Noida, India. 16th May 2008. A city that was for the more well off. It had many amenities, and you could say the middle and upper classes lived there.
Aarushi was the daughter of two dentists, and living with them was a full-time household helper Hemraj, 45. He was Nepalese and had been employed for around a year by the family, replacing another Nepalese helper after impressing the Talwars. Hemraj had a wife and family of his own back in Nepal. He would cook food for the family, was given a phone by them, and seemed trusted to be around Aarushi.
Aarushi was a well liked girl who was starting to take more interest in her appearance as she entered teenagehood. Her family were not particularly conservative by their own description. Aarushi had a boyfriend and often spoke to him over the phone. She had been talking to him on the phone on the days preceding her death as well as for 30 minutes at 9pm on 15/05/08.
Aarushi was conceived through IVF. She was an only child and of busy parents and often went to bed late after reading her books and chatting with friends. She had her own mobile and loved to take photos of herself. She did well at school and appeared your typical, happy teenage girl with everything going for her.
Aarushi was discovered in her bed with a fatal skull fracture and a slit throat. A few days after the decomposing body of Hemraj, the household servant, was found concealed on the rooftop terrace. Aarushi's parents Rajesh and Nupur Talwar claimed innocence and were acquitted of murder charges less than 4 years into their sentence. The other known suspects were never convicted due to lack of evidence.
Her parents allegedly discovered her, and the exact events of the night are disputed and hard to corroborate. This is due investigation was bungled from the start by lazy and inexperienced police work. A scene was not established at the earliest opportunity, and vital forensic samples were not recovered.
The parents alleged never hearing anything during the night, despite their bedroom being next door to Aarushis. They claimed a loud AC unit masked all outside sound.
There are multiple allegations of tampering with the crime scene by the parents of Aarushi, who invited over neighbours and family in the immediate aftermath of the supposed discovery of Aarushi's murder. In addition, there were multiple calls between the parents and their relative who was ex-police. In the days following the murder and accusations that were influencing the post-mortem report in order for any references to sexual assault be removed.
At every step of the investigation, there were frustrations and twists.
Questions
There were multiple law enforcement teams investigating the murders at different points. Their conclusions pointed to the parents or associates of Hemraj. The Noida police, UP police, and CBI all investigated.
There are a lot of theories as to what happened. I have found myself reflecting on certain facts/points rather than formulating a brand new theory.
16 years in there is likely never to be any fresh evidence to examine.
Aarushi

• What was the exact nature of the injuries to her neck and head? Hemraj too?
• Were the crush injuries caused by golf clubs?
• What sort of blade was used to cut the neck of her and Hemraj?
• Why was there another ladys/girls DNA found on her?
• Was Luminol used in the scene to look for blood spatter?
• Whose blood was in the terrace and area leading up to it?
  Aarushi's camera
  She was gifted this on the night of the murder. It was an early birthday present. It was found to have over a dozen images deleted.
  
• What photos were deleted? Was any recovery possible?
  
• Did Aarushi or anyone else take indecent or incriminating photos?
  
• Gift giving signifies an emotional high- and with highs come lows. Was there an incident that happened that incurred an extreme negative emotional response from Rajesh and Nupur against Aarushi?
  Aarushi's phone
  
• How far away was it discovered from their apartment?
  
• Had it been hidden away inside the flat and not taken outside until a number of days after the murder?
  
• What was Aarushi's last activity on the phone? Cell records?
  
• Why did she not reply to Anmol, her boyfriend, when he called around midnight? Was she dead by then?
  Aarushi's friends
  
• What did they know about Aarushi's relationship with her family and Hemraj?
  
• Did she tell them anything?
  Hemraj
  
• How exactly long had he not been paid/sent back money to his family?
  
• Did Hemraj know something he shouldn't have?
  
• Why did he not eat dinner the night of his murder?
  
• Why did Hemraj report being in fear of his life?
  
• What clear evidence was there, if any, of company in his room that night?
  
• Why was Hemraj killed in the same manner as Aarushi?
  
• Whose hair was found in his mouth? Was it Rajesh's?
  Rajesh and Nupur
  
• Why did they not call the police?
  
• As dentists and people of science why were they destroying evidence at scene by introducing contamination?
  
• They blamed the police for not collecting evidence but still ruined the scene themselves?
  
• Why did they have such a short grieving period with Aarushi's body before cremation and cleaning the apartment?
  
• Why did they immediately accuse Hemraj of the murder?
  
• As usually late risers, why were they awake in the first place when they discovered Aarushi dead?
  
• Why did Nupur throw the keys down to Bharati for the doors when Nupur already knew the doors to the apartment could be opened from both sides?
  
• Are the couple hiding facts because they want to preserve the honour of Aarushi?
  
• Why were they talking back and forth with their ex-police relative and well connected people in the aftermath of the murder?
  
• Why were they so quick to move on?
  
• Why were they talking so much to the media?
  
• Why did Rajesh offer a reward for Hemraj after the police finally came? Did he not check where Hemraj was after discovering Aarushi dead?
  
• Why did Rajesh never give the keys when asked for the Terrace?
  Crime scene
  
• Why was the body of Aarushi staged and dressed after the murder?
  
• Where were the golf clubs usually kept? It's alleged they matched the injury shapes on the victims. So did Rajesh keep them in his room?
  
• Who was the first victim? Who was the intended victim?
  
• Why was Hemraj's body concealed? Why would a stranger conceal his body?
  
• There were no obvious signs of struggle in the apartment and terrace. There were no bruises reported in the autopsy. Does this suggest the victims knew the murderes and did not fight back?
  
• Why did the Talwars seem okay with dumping the mattress of Aarushi on the neighbours roof?
  Motive
  
• Why would a third party go to the lengths of dressing up the scene and concealing evidence?
  
• There was nothing reported stolen. The only known things missing were the phones of Aarushi and Hemraj. If an outsider murdered them then why kill only two but spare the parents?
  
• Was Aarushi killed by Hemraj's associates after a serial assault and then her body was cleaned by her parents?
  
• Why were the parents spared then?
  I believe these questions may never be satisfactorily answered. My personal view is that this was a set of murders committed by the parents. Why? Perhaps honor based killing in a fit of rage after confronting Aarushi and/or Hemraj in circumstances the parents found unforgiveable. Why? Because an outsider would not dress up Aarushi or go to the lengths of concealing Hemraj on the terrace.
  

Edit: Forgot to mention that Aarushi's boyfriend angle is significant too.
RIP Aarushi and Hemraj
Thanks for reading.
https://allthatsinteresting.com/aarushi-talwar

I had a bad feeling from the very beginning of my pregnancy but it was my first so I was naive. I found out I was pregnant very early, I was testing but the tests were pretty light. Eventually after a week they started to darken and and that week I started spotting. I went to the ER they saw nothing in my uterus but said maybe it was early. Tested hcg and doubled (but I thought it was low). I went to the Ob and I told her my concerns she said she thinks the spotting was from a hemorrhagic corpus luteal cyst that was seen in the ultrasound (but I had these before and never spotted?). Anyways she makes me feel very at ease and does’t even say to continue to test my hcg. Says we will do another US in 2 weeks.
A week later I got anxious again so I went to a private US place. Because at this point I was 6 weeks and SOMETHING should be seen right? The tech sees nothing, only some bleeding. Tells me maybe it’s too early (IK they can’t give medical advice e) it’s ok, my OB appt is exactly a week from then.
I wait anxiously for my appt. Funny, I even posted about it in another reddit group and someone warned me it would probably be ectopic. I thought about it but up until that point I felt fine so I didn’t want to stress myself out without “evidence” (more pain, more bleeding, wanted to wait until my appt)
Well the night before my ob appt I get the feeling like I had trapped gas. Hurt so bad I fell to the floor sweating and unable to move, my body felt stiff. Went to the ER, ruptured ectopic. I was in such a state of shock and pain I could not even react when they told me that. Actually I did cry like a yelp and it sent shooting pains through my whole body so I had to stop. I had the surgery and lost a tube.
It’s been three weeks. Now I feel so angry and guilty that I was so naive and didn’t advocate more for myself in the beginning. I had the feeling all along Maybe I would still have my other tube. I am feeling like I am in a state of functional depression, I look ok on the outside I can smile I can laugh I can get things done but when I am alone or at night I feel so sad and empty. I even had a therapy session (and have been in therapy before) with someone who specializes in child loss and it didn’t even help. She kept asking me what do I want to get out of this. And told me to be more grateful for the things I do have.
Not to go on and on even more but I have always been an introverted, deep feeler, day dreamer. So this experience is really torture to me. Anyways thanks for listening. It always helps me to share experiences with others going through something similar iar because no one seems to understand.