I have this character who is VERY relevant to the plot of the story. He is the older brother of the main character and is the most powerful mortal in the world by a far margin. He sees his purpose as being born to use his great power to protect those he deems cannot protect themselves. Which would be everyone in the world. Every single one. As comes with the territory he has a LOT of blood on his hands. There was one point where he had to exterminate an entire race save for one that escaped him. (This race in question are naturally very gifted in magic and are very prideful.) The escapee became a disciple of The Magic Goddess and became even more powerful. Events of the story play out the main character loses his memories and is taken under the wing of said escapee, the character in question is initially framed as a mysterious villainous character you only hear tales about until you finally meet him. After that you slowly get to know more about the character and realize that he is not a villain and is not evil. (A redemption arc I guess?) The Escapee and him switch places and he becomes a sort of mentor figure for the main group of characters and slowly you get to learn about him and his brother. Who they are, where they come from, and what their purpose for existing is. All while The Escapee takes on the roles as the new villain. Shenanigans happen and The Escapee has found a way to sort of clone herself. So now she has an entire army that share her power level and since she was a disciple of The literal God of Magic she is extremely powerful. She wages war and he figures the only way to win the war is to bring back the original race that he had genocided so many millennia ago, because of how vastly powerful they are in comparison to the other races. However they are all dead and reside in the underworld. It is possible for a very powerful mortal to open a temporary passage to the underworld, however they would ultimately die in the process. So because he feels that it is his duty to protect everybody (and also for irony) he decides that he would be the one to open the passage way and bring them back. Ultimately leading to his death. Far far far into the story afterwards the characters meet him again as the now God of the underworld. (He never returns to being a Main-ish Character after this.)
Tldr: The reader is lead to believe at the start that the character is an evil villain, they slowly start to realize that he is not as evil as he was portrayed to be, he shows up more and more and the reader learns more about them and hopefully gets attached to the character, then he ultimately sacrifices himself, and later on after the mourning period has been far over he is revealed to have accended to god-hood after his sacrifice.
Would bringing him back as a god and lesser important character near the ending of the story be a bad idea? Or would just killing him period be a bad idea?

I am much younger (just passed school) than all of my other 4 siblings.. they are all married and have kids, my dad is dead and i just have a mother.. but my brother and other 3 sisters treat me very bad.. they all have got their own family nd manipulate me thinking i have no use living.. I'm useless and a liability while pretending to care for me.. i want to end it but i dont want them to succeed

Waldo could feel the tension in his body. He hated breaches. He used to be a general in the armada. Waldo had not figured out exactly what happened but in a few weeks leadership had changed all across the galaxy. Waldo had sensed something was different and Waldo had changed his identity adding himself to a low level unit while he tried to figure out what had caused the change. However, his contracts slowly disappeared and he was having a hard time cultivating new ones. Waldo had heard the name Bastion a lot in the changeover and Jonah seemed to have fallen off his radar, which Waldo found very distressing. So now he was just a lower level grunt Waldo had to follow orders and keep his identity hidden. That meant he saw lots of action thus why he was on a breaching team. All the prep in the world never made him feel safe on a breach and they had no prep time for this one. Toby slammed the charge on the handle of the Iron door and deftly ran the blasting cord around the frame, in a single smooth motion. Waldo felt Juan tense in front of him as they prepped for entry after the blast. Waldo would be second in on this one having lost the coin toss. Not that he really minded due to the lack of information. Juan would be going right, Waldo had the left, and Brett would be going down the middle. Juan, Waldo, or Brett always led the breaching team; they were their units cowboys. At least, that is what they called themselves. Their lieutenant Frank called them his lovely ladies but everyone was a girl to Frank. Waldo didn’t care about it, Brett would get angry with Frank out of combat, and Juan only ever laughed over it. Waldo was pretty sure Brett was putting up a show as he had caught Brett offering to be a bottom to a guy at a bar three months ago, which had led to him swearing secrecy over it. Waldo found himself smiling as Frank started into it.
“Lovely ladies, Juanita, Betty, and Wilma. Tina is spreading her legs in three.” Frank said loud enough for the breaching team to hear as he raised his hand holding up three fingers starting a countdown to Waldo’s 4th breach of the day. As the door blasted in they moved smoothly forward like a well rehearsed dance. Juan moved through the door into a hallway with Waldo close on his tail. Waldo saw it a second too late as Juan had completely missed the tripwire. Waldo grabbed Juan a hair too slow as Juan’s foot hit the wire tripping whatever the trap was. Waldo felt the magic in the blast before he heard the tremendous roar. Waldo felt himself pushed back by Juan while trying to pull him. Waldo felt certain he had Juan’s pack firmly gripped as he fell back. Suddenly, there was nothing in his hands. The air felt cool and instead of the hot sun beating down he felt a warm glow off to his left.
Waldo rolled to his feet and spun, assessing the room, but everything was wrong. He had lifted his rifle up to sight as he spun but it was missing so instead in the middle of the spin he drew his side arm. However, as he finished his spin his arm fell loosely to his side. Waldo stood in the middle of three empty round tables. In what, he would call the common room of a themed bar or restaurant. He saw humanoid creatures standing near a long wooden bar with 4 patrons seated at it and another dozen or so scattered around the room with more on the two levels above him. Off to the side of a warm glow that Waldo realized there was a fireplace with a fire happily burning in it and there was a stage. Waldo would have loved to hear the music from the group on stage with their odd assortment of instruments but it was at this moment Waldo realized the blast had deafened him. Waldo felt certain no one would attack him, having noticed an odd assortment of humanoids. Waldo saw gnolls, tabaxi, and maybe lizardperson. Waldo holstered his side arm but in looking down he noticed a growing pool of blood at his feet and saw a piece of rebar sticking out of his arm. Waldo saw the enchantments engraved in the rebar and part of him said magic wasn’t real then something else said that humans were the only intelligent race. Waldo pushed those back knowing better. He had seen lots of races and humans were just one of them. Waldo felt more than one voice trying to take control and he pushed back, calming his mind. Waldo attempted to quiet his mind as he was flooded with memories and thoughts he did not recognize as he pushed against them he felt someone or something help him in quieting his mind.
Waldo had not noticed the pain of his injury because of how much adrenaline was pumping through him. Waldo examined the rebar seeing the blood running down his arm. Waldo estimated he had ten minutes before blood loss would start to impact him if it did not clot on its own. Waldo glanced around the room seeing a few gnolls who had noticed him but no one seemed to care and decided he could care for the wound. Waldo grabbed the quick releases on his backpacks shoulder straps letting his bag fall onto a table he positioned behind him. Waldo quickly turned to face the bag and flipped it over so he could easily access it. Waldo grabbed a strap on the pack and deftly released it. Wrapping the loose strap above where the rebar was sticking out of his arm. Waldo smoothly grabbed his folding knife, flicking it open and cutting the sleeve away. Waldo placed the sleeve on the table and checked to see if it was all there or a piece was missing. Waldo grimace realizing a piece of sleeve is probably in his muscle. Waldo flicked the knife closed and placed it next to the sleeve. Waldo pulled out a bottle of water, a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, a healing tonic, and a sealed bandage for once it was clean. Waldo was so focused on what he was doing at the table he had not noticed the small group that had gathered behind him.
“I don’t think he can hear us.” Strisk, a large drake, said, preparing to tap the strange human’s shoulder to get his attention.
“Really, Strisk. You don’t think the guy bleeding on the floor that I shouted at can hear us?” Lydia, the only human in the commons, asked angrily, placing her hands on her hips.
“I think he is going to pull that piece of metal out of his arm.” Kna, the gnollish innkeeper and owner of the establishment, said surprised. Watching Waldo’s back tense as he stretched his arm out to the table. Grabbing the rebar in his other hand.
“Sir! Don’t!” Lydia screamed as Waldo ripped the 4 inch piece of rebar stuck halfway in his arm out.
“Fuck!” Waldo yelled as the piece of metal came free. Waldo looked it over for cloth finding a small piece that he carefully removed from the end of the rebar and placed in the hole of the sleeve and frowning seeing there was still more. Waldo screamed as the onlookers watched him shove his fingers into the hole in skin.
“Strisk, help me stop him.” Lydia said. Grabbing Waldo’s arm. Strisk hesitated. A moment before grabbing Waldo’s other arm.
"Stop! There is more fabric in my arm!” Waldo screamed as the two strangers forced his arms apart. Waldo looked at the sleeve. Unsure if they could even understand him. The strangers released Waldo as he attacked the problem again.
“Aer, go get me water. I will clean this up once he is done” Lydia said, to a gnoll barmaid nearby, deciding to stay next to this stranger.
“I’ll get the mop and some rags to help.” Kna said not wanting to watch anymore and stepping away.
Waldo pulled out a piece of fabric and placed it in the sleeve. Smiling now that he could account for all of the sleeve. Waldo grabbed the water bottle using his teeth to remove the lid and poured it down his arm. Followed by the rubbing alcohol to which he could not help but scream again as it burned.
“That looks bad.” Strisk said, fingering a potion at his hip. Seeing Waldo was prepared to heal the slow way. Strisk was trying to decide whether or not to help the stranger out by giving him the healing potion he carried as a city guard.
Waldo was looking at the hole in his arm knowing it would take time to heal even with the help of the tonic. He estimated it would be a day or two. Waldo looked back at the lizard person standing behind him in armor. Waldo grimaced as he drank the healing tonic. Waldo looked at the only human girl in the commons. Waldo instantly recognized her but could see she did not recognize him. Waldo hated this feeling but took his time looking over her sandy blonde hair and the gentle curves of her face. Waldo let his eyes wander across her chest and down her legs to the floor even though there was not much to see since she wore a high neck dress that was rather plain. Waldo expected she worked here and was not one to take crap from the patrons. However, Waldo knew her face and her shape as just as he remembered her, he did not need her clothes off to tell this. Waldo turned back to the table and opened the bandage and applied it to his arm. “He took his time looking you over.” Strisk said, eying Lydia himself.
“At least, he seems to know not to touch.” Lydia said, without looking at Strisk. She had been rebuffing advances from him and other drakes like him since she took the job. She hated the drakes, which was not unreasonable as they had burned her home to the ground, killed her parents, her betrothed, and enslaved her for five years. Lydia had fled to the nearest city not under drake control once she was freed. Lydia knew that not all drakes are slavers but getting over somethings are easier than others.
“Do you think he can hear us?” Strisk asked, ignoring the jab not wanting to be thrown out by Kna again. Strisk still was fingering the healing potion not having decided on whether or not to offer it. The human seemed to be taking things to remedy his condition. Strisk stood over the two humans by about a foot when he extended to his full height at the moment he was hunched down a bit so he did not tower over them. Strisk thought he looked good this evening having cared for his bronze scales before coming to Kna’s inn. Waldo rolled up the sleeve and piece of rebar and placed it in his pack then pulled out a healing tonic with a dropper on it and a tin a bit larger than his hand slipping the tin into a pocket. Waldo used the dropper to put a few drops of his second healing tonic down each of his ears. Waldo knew it would take a minute for the tonic to kick in and heal enough damage to restore hearing. Waldo returned the spare tonic to the pack and turned around letting his eyes meet Lydia’s. Waldo thought he saw her eyeing him and she had a small smile on her face as their eyes met. Her face made various emotions flare inside him and it had to focus to stay in control feeling a bit like someone else was trying to take control. Waldo felt his hearing return as the sounds of the room washed over him.
“Hello.” Waldo said, smiling at the woman ignoring the large lizardperson or dragonkin. Waldo could not really tell but he knew getting it wrong would probably offend them.
“Hey, I am guardsmen Strisk.” Strisk said. Waldo glanced at the drake and then looked back at the woman. She crossed her arms and her smile turned to a frown. Waldo could not help but think crossing her arms only accentuated a certain feminine feature of her form.
“Any chance I could get your name?” Waldo asked, meeting the woman’s eyes.
“Lydia. Why are you bleeding on our floor and where did you come from?” Lydia asked, feeling her pulse raise with the way he was looking at her. Lydia had not been in the presence of a human male for ten years. Lydia had not been avoiding them there just weren’t many humans in the city she had fled to and she would not risk going back to drake territory as much as part of her wanted certain things, saving up to get off his continent had been her focus. Human also from what she had seen human men did not survive long under the abuse the drakes applied to there slaves in the nearby Xalas empire. “I am Waldo Winter.” Waldo introduced himself looking at Lydia. “As for why I am bleeding, I think it was an explosion of some kind. The shockwave knocked out my hearing. I am from Halcyon. I was in an outlying district at the time of the explosion and the wood in this room tells me I am not there anymore.” Waldo stated calmly.
“So you entered Protham via an unauthorized teleport?” Strisk asked, trying to sound official.
“One I did not initialize or agree to but yes. Are you going to arrest me?” Waldo asked.
“I will have to report it. I will let someone else decide if you should be arrested. Assuming you don’t cause additional trouble.” Strisk said.
“It is an honour to make your acquaintance Strisk. Thank you for not arresting me.” Waldo said, giving Strisk a smile before turning back to Lydia.
“Why were you caught in an explosion?” Strisk asked the strange human, smiling back at him since he was being respectful.
“Well that is a little difficult. I was entering a suspected criminal's residence just before finding myself standing in this lovely room.” Waldo said deciding to omit details since it would be simpler than explaining. “There was an explosion of some kind and then I was here. I have to assume the hunk of metal hit me before I appeared here somehow.”
“Sounds like a teleport spell gone wrong.” Lydia said, allowing herself a moment to look over Waldo since he was not causing trouble. She could see the muscles in his arm and thought she recognized his jawline but knew that could not be the case since she had no idea where Halcyon was.
“I wouldn’t know much about that. I can only hope my brothers are alright. Can one of you tell me where I am?” Waldo asked, masking his face, wondering if he had died. The blast had been strong enough to rupture his ears. Waldo was not sure he could have actually survived, even with Juan in front of him. Waldo expected he had died and this was some sort of reincarnation. Waldo knew he could not return home if the was an arrival on this planet as a child of Halcyon he had heard of this experience but this was his first time. As he thought about this he realized he did not want to go back even if he could. He had been in hiding and now he was probably well outside of the problems he had and doubted anyone hunting him would keep it up after death if he had died. If not then he was incredibly lucky he had landed in a place where he did not die instantly. Looking at Lydia something told him that someone powerful had intervened but Waldo could not imagine who. Jonah had abandoned him and Waldo could not think of another player with enough power to do anything who would also care about him.
“Spriggan Inn, in Protham.” Lydia said, looking carefully at Waldo. Aer walked over carrying a rag and pushing a bucket of steaming water. Kna walked over with a mop and an empty bucket to wring the mop out.
“Oh, thank you.” Waldo said, taking the mop from Kna and starting to clean up.
“Protham is nowhere special, Lydia. We are a weeks travel from Neakar City. Neakar is the district capital here and a port city.” Strisk said, looking at Lydia.
“You don’t have to do that.” Kna said, as Waldo deftly cleaned up the blood on the floor. “Just let him. He is probably in shock.” Strisk said, as they watched Waldo clean the floor easily.
“Just a bit.” Waldo said after a moment, having finished mopping and given the mop back to Kna. Waldo used one of the rages Aer had to clean the table his pack had been on ending by wiping the drying blood from his ears. Waldo looked down and realized he was a mess.
“How far did you travel?” Aer asked, frowning having heard the conversation.
“Far enough, those names mean nothing to me.” Waldo replied.
“So you are gonna need work.” Strisk half asked and half told Waldo.
“Seems like that would be wise.” Waldo said, placing the rag over the edge of the bucket holding the dirty water from Waldo’s cleaning efforts.
“Protham needs good city guards.” Strisk said, smiling. “I can get you an interview tomorrow. I will come by tomorrow morning and get you. If you are interested?”
“I’ll need some training on your laws, but sounds interesting to me.” Waldo said, sticking out his hand to Strisk. Strisk looked at it a moment then realized he was supposed to grab it and did with his clawed hand.
“Thanks, for your help Strisk.” Waldo said, firmly shaking Strisk’s hand.
“Sounds like you want a room for the night. Unless, Strisk is offering to pay. Do you have any money?” Kna asked, frowning at Strisk.
“You can put one night on my tab, Kna.” Strisk said.
“Only if you pay your tab off tonight.” Kna said, feeling a bit bad but knowing Strisk’s tab was getting out of hand.
“Do you accept silver?” Waldo asked, before Strisk could reply to Kna.
“Yes, take a seat and I will get my scales.” Kna said, having heard enough to know she was going to need to calculate an exchange.
“I am glad you happened to have some coin on you.” Strisk said, frowning at Kna’s back.
“Yeah, my dad was big into carrying certain things every day. Good thing, I listened to him cause I bet my country's paper money is worthless here.” Waldo said, pulling the tin out of his pocket and carefully opening to make sure it was the right one then closing it again.
“Well, your bag is probably worth quite a bit. I have never seen anything like it. Fine craftsmanship.” Aer said, examining his pack.
“I would rather not part with it if possible.” Waldo said sitting down at the table his bag had been on since he moved it to the floor beside the table in cleaning the table. Strisk sat down across from him as did Aer with Lydia sitting close and she was still looking at him.
“Lydia, you are being weird.” Aer said, quietly.
“Looks like Lydia wants to bed the man.” Strisk said, frowning at Lydia.
“Watch it, Strisk.” Lydia said to Strisk with an edge in her voice. “Waldo just reminds me of someone.” Lydia followed up with a softer tone.
“Good memories I hope. I think I’d like to get to know you.” Waldo responded, not looking away from Lydia. “You remind me of… Someone.”
“Well, be nice and maybe we can share some memories.” Lydia replied, not breaking his gaze. Waldo felt there were some additional implications in her words.
“Is there a price?” Waldo asked, before he could stop himself. Waldo was not entirely sure where the words had come from in saying them they just burst from his lips like someone else was running the show. The words had sent Lydia’s hand flying. Waldo easily caught it mid air. “I will take that as a no, which is nice. A woman with a price isn’t a woman worth having.” Waldo said, speaking again without being sure where the word came from. Waldo wondered if he was going mad but something told him he was not. Waldo edged closer to Lydia as he thought this and realized he seemed to be of multiple minds in this moment. Words and actions happening that he was not sure were all him. Aer and Strisk were watching in surprise. “Maybe I misinterpreted your words.”
“If you can pay for your room. I am willing to let the words go. Now if you would let me go.” Lydia responded, carefully feeling the strength in his arm and seeing the ease with which he caught her slap. She had used a skill to hit him, one that had landed on Strisks and other guardsmen when they got out of hand. She felt he could be dangerous and even though he had caught the slap and was easily holding her arm in place he was not hurting her. In fact once she relaxed, from making the slap, she realized how relaxed he was in stopping her slap. She saw him considering letting her go. She met his eyes letting her anger show at being held in place. Lydia realized how close he had come moving a little to block her slap and left him close enough she felt his breath on her face. Lydia realized she was breathing on him too and something in his eyes seemed to be enjoying the closeness they were sharing.
“I want a taste.” Waldo said, kissing her before she could react and sliding his hand along her back. Lydia wanted to struggle but part of her had been aching for this for years and she did not put up a fight. After a moment she found she was kissing him back for a moment and just as she was about to pull away. He did first. Waldo had been wanting to kiss her since he had laid eyes on her and at least this time he was sure that was him. “Well, that was… special.” Waldo felt a memory tug at him in the back of his mind. One of a girl that looked just like this woman.
“Maybe, for you.” Lydia said, trying to hide how much she enjoyed it. Waldo released her hand and turned looking for Kna. Waldo watched Kna approach with the scales. Waldo quickly opened the tin, pulling out a bundle of five carefully wrapped gold coins before closing it again and placing the tin back in a pocket.
Waldo unwrapped the coins asking “What exchange rate can you offer on these?” Aer gave a quiet gasp at the sight of them. Waldo feared he had made a mistake. As kna set the scales on the table.
“You have gold?” Strisk asked. Kna seemed unphased as Kna placed the coins on one side of the scale and started to carefully weigh them.
“Just a little. For an emergency.” Waldo responded.
“That should be enough to live here for a month.” Strisk stated, watching Kna carefully.
“You underestimate my rates. This will buy you three weeks.” Kna stated, as the scales balanced.
“What? That is highway robbery!” Strisk said.
“I have to take them to a blacksmith to get them minted in local coinage, they will need to be paid. Or I will have to take them to a money changer, who will also take a cut.” Kna stated.
“What would that include?” Waldo said, realizing his hand had wandered from his leg and found Lydia hand grabbing it tightly. Waldo felt Lydia tense as Waldo grabbed her hand but noticed she did not pull away from the sudden contact.
“A room, hot bath every day, standard laundry service, the common breakfast, and dinner daily with one pint of house ale. You will have to pay for lunch if you come here to eat.” Kna said, listing from memory the services she included in her standard room offering.
“Sounds good to me.” Waldo said smiling and looking out the window confirming it was dark. “I assume we are in the middle of dinner?” Waldo asked, hopefully.
“Yes.” Kna answered.
“May I take dinner in my room? I would like to wash myself before bed. It has been a surprising day.” Waldo asked Kna.
“Yes! I will grab you a plate and show you to your room.” Lydia said, releasing Waldo hand and standing. Waldo let her hand go as she stood. Kna at Lydia with what Waldo expected was motherly concern. As Lydia turned away to get the room key and a plate of food.
“Is there running water in the room?” Waldo asked Kna.
“Yes, but I cannot recommend using it for anything other than bathing.” Kna said.
“It is fine I can purify water. Can I get this filled with water?” Waldo asked, holding out a metal canteen.
“Yes. Aer go fill this and bring it back.” Kna said, handing the canteen to Aer who quickly walked off. “Leave Strisk. I would have a word alone with this man.” Kna growled at Strisk looking angrily. Strisk knew better than to argue with Kna when she gave him this look.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Waldo.” Strisk said standing to his whole sevenish feet of height stretching as he walked away. Waldo only now realized how small he was compared to Strisk.
“Indeed.” Waldo said to Strisk and turned back to Kna.
“I have never seen Lydia take to a man as she has to you. Have you cast a spell on her?” Kna asked Waldo. Waldo burst out laughing, taking a moment to control himself.
“I have no skill in that kind of magic. If you know how to test one for magic I would happily submit. I suspect I know why she has taken to me but there is nothing magical about it.” Waldo said, having gained control of the strange urge to laugh at magic.
“Why?” Kna asked, eyeing him coldly.
“Now why should I answer you?” Waldo asked. “What do you care for, of freed slaves? Or are you not her enslaver?” Kna drew back surprised.
“You said you knew nothing of this place?” Kna replied.
“I have never heard of this city in my life or this land, but I have eyes. Lydia is the only human here beside me. You are a gnoll and Strisk is one of the scaled people’s. I never been around any of them long enough to learn to tell them apart. Lydia clearly has some aversion to Strisk which seems to be unconscious on some level. That suggests it is not that she does not simply dislike him but something more than that. It is obvious to me that she does not belong here and would choose another home, but something prevents that. When I kissed her I ran my hand down her back. I felt the cursed marks of a whip. Is she a free woman or do you own her?” Waldo said, sliding his hand to the knife attached to his lower back.
“My people do not enslave others. She is free. I did not know she hated it here.” Kna said going from angry to crestfallen. “I did not know she had been a drake's slave.”
“You will say nothing of this. If you value your friendship with her. I did not say she hated it here. She works for you, which I expect is because you are not a drake and probably more than that. I get the sense she misses her people. How long has she been here?” Waldo replied, smoothing his voice.
“Several years.” Kna said, drifting in her own thoughts.
“If she hated you she would have left. You must make her feel safe in a dark place so she does not wander from your light.” Waldo said.
“All the more reason to not let her be abused.” Kna said, gauging Waldo.
“You misunderstand something. I will always respect Ma laska.” Waldo said, changing languages without thinking and looking to where Lydia stood talking to Aer as a memory flooded over him for a moment. Waldo felt the other part of him pushing forward for a moment. “Good help you have. Deftly slowing Lydia while we talk.”
“What is ma laska?” Kna asked. Waldo hesitated, surprised by Kna's words, then realized he had called Lydia by accident. Waldo knew what it meant somehow but decided he better not translate it directly.
“A woman’s right.” Waldo said, choosing a lie over the truth. “Or at least that is a close enough translation in this context.”
“So that is another language?” Kna asked.
“Yes, one from my a place long ago.” Waldo answered. “Have we not strayed topics at this point?”
“I think I have made myself clear and you have made yourself clear now.” Kna said, glancing at Aer and making a low growl. “I will let Lydia make herself clear as she chooses. Now that I do not think you will take something Lydia does not freely offer.”
“Have you accepted her as your cub?” Waldo asked, turning to look at Kna.
“I ha... “ Kna stopped herself, looking surprised at Waldo.
“I see it in your eyes, witness it in your fur, and hear it in your voice. She is a daughter in your house. Does she know or do you keep it a secret from all but those who know how to see?” Waldo asked, calmly moving past Kna’s surprise.
“You said.” Kna started to accuse trying to remember his words.
“I have not seen another race in so long. I cannot tell the scaled races apart. However, I ran with a pack for six years. I was a brother to a gnoll, and son to his parents. I sat at their table and went on their hunts. I sang the rights and washed in their bath. I was once an adopted son, which fills me with pride. If you are not a slaver then I would call you friend.” Waldo said quickly as Lydia approached. Just as he finished speaking he gave a quiet howl in the gnoll tongue he had learned many years ago living on the plains of Halcyon long before the war that had landed him here. Aer stopped mid-step and stared at Waldo as the gnolls in the room turned looking at the grimy human who had named himself to the room in gnollish. Kna openly stared surprised Waldo had been named and knew the proper introduction for himself in a public place. Lydia was confused as to her it appeared Waldo was growling threateningly at Kna. Suddenly, the room responded with a quite gnollish welcome that made Lydia jump. Aer gently placed her hand on Lydia’s shoulder.
“They are greeting Waldo in our tongue.” Aer explained to Lydia, seeing she did not know what was happening in the room.
“He speaks gnollish?” Lydia said surprised.
“I guess.” Aer said, pulling her hand back and moving forward again.
“Why did you not say something before?” Kna asked, Waldo as Lydia and Aer walked up. Aer set his canteen on the table.
“It was not the time. All things have a place and now was this things place.” Waldo responded.
“You are a strange human, but I am comforted and feel as if there is nothing to fear.” Kna said to Waldo then turned to Lydia. “Lydia, you may do as you will the rest of the night and I will not interfere.”
“Thank you. May we call this the end of my shift then.” Lydia asked, feeling a little excited. Aer turned moving around the room with the other staff in the inn.
“Away with you before I find a need for your aid in tending to my customers. Who I have ignored, too long.” Kna said quickly moving away to help her staff tend to tables. Waldo picked up his pack and canteen.
“Lead on, Ma laska.” Waldo said, nodding to Lydia.
“Ma laska?” Lydia questioned not saying it quite right.
“Sorry, my lady. Old habits.” Waldo said, lying again feeling unsure as to why he felt like he was fighting to stay in control. Lydia raised an eyebrow questioningly but led on. Waldo followed her up the stairs to the second floor and down a hallway lined with six doors. She stopped in front of the door and placed a brass coin over the lock which clicked and the door swung open. Led him into a good sided room with an all wood floor and completely open. A large bed was on one side of the room, a table with two chairs by the door. Space at the foot of the bed. There was space between the bed and a bathtub with a toilet near the back wall with a screen by the toilet and a sink between the tub and toilet. The room was lit by glowing stones fixed to the walls Waldo saw what appeared to be a control for the glowing stones by the door before the table and chairs. There were towels by the sink. Lydia set the plate on the table and the brass coin next to it. Waldo set his bag at the foot of the bed and started to strip away his body armor until he heard the door shut causing him to turn. Waldo smiled seeing Lyida had not left.
“Would you like help?” Lydia asked, slowly walking to him with a gaze that excited Waldo. The kiss he had stolen had aroused something in Lydia and the urges she had been pushing back had rushed forward.
“I can manage. I am just removing some outer layers. They are deceptively heavy.” Waldo responded.
“Please allow me. I want to.” Lydia said, stepping next to him quickly. Waldo allowed her to help him, carefully guiding her hands to the straps holding the armor in place and allowing their fingers to get tangled. “You seem to be intentionally making this difficult.” Lydia accused, after it took almost a full minute to unhook one strap.
“Does it bother you?” Waldo asked, playfully nudging her and Lydia realized he was enjoying the delay.
“Your food will get cold…” Lydia said, blushing as she started to enjoy the fumbling of their hands and his contact.
“Hot or cold it is still food. However, this moment... is all its own.” Waldo said, dragging out her helping him remove his outer layers, which took another five or more minutes. After which, they sat across from each other as he ate his dinner. Lydia studied him as he ate.
“Have we met before?” Lydia asked, feeling at ease in his presence.
“After a manner…I believe so but not for more than a lifetime.” Waldo responded. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”
“Reincarnation?” Lydia asked not being familiar with the word.
“My people believe when you die a piece of you, what we would call a soul, starts a new life.” Waldo explained.
“I am not much for religion. In my homeland, they said the gods are dead. The Drakes of Xalas seem to think there are gods and people have souls. Most of the gnolls of Grofeas say there are no gods but there is a temple to the gnoll god in Protham and I believe the high priestess is the wife of the city's guard captain.” Lydia replied.
“Xalas? Grofeas?” Waldo asked, suspecting these are countries.
“Neakar, a large city in the Xalas empire. It even has a palace for the emperor. I don’t think it is the capital of the Xalas empire but I might be wrong. The Grofeas plains are ruled by the gnoll tribes. There are not very many cities on the Grofeas plains and Xalas has tentative peace with the plains gnolls that largely control Grofeas. Protham is the first city in the Grofeas plains after leaving the Xalas empire. Mostly, the Drakes have mined the Grofeas plains of all they are interested in so they leave them alone.” Lydia explained.
“What is your home land called?” Waldo asked.
“Northumbria, but last I heard it fell to the drakes in the war. I was captured before the Northumbrian king fell. The Teaniel Empire is the last human hold out against the drakes and if it falls the drakes will effectively rule the continent of Atios. Not that they bother much with the Grofeas plains.” Lydia explained.
“Ah, so you stay because there is no easy human stronghold to flee to?” Waldo questioned.
“I am trying to save up to go to Ibrix but that is a long boat ride off after traveling to the only gnoll port city because I refuse to go back into the Xalas empire. Only problem is Grofeas port city is three hundred leagues to the south east of here. The roads are less than safe and each year there are only about three caravans that make the trek. If I were to cross alone it is unlikely I would make it. The cost of going from here to Ibrix are a little more than a year's wage working here.” Lydia explained sadly.
“How many humans reside in Protham?” Waldo asked.
“Twelve. All women. Eight are too old for the trek and two are too young to go alone.” Lydia said.
“All former slaves of the drakes I assume.” Waldo said.
“What?” Lydia said surprised.
“I worked interrogations. I learned to read what was left unspoken. You have nothing to fear from me. Slavery is the evilest form of commerce.” Waldo said, kneeling by his chair with his back to Lydia and bearing it. Lydia saw thin white scars from wounds that had healed and been reopened only to heal again over and over again. Lydia was speechless. After a moment Waldo covered himself and sat down facing her.
“How did you know?” Lydia questioned. Waldo slid his chair close to her so they were a breath apart. Lydia stared at him waiting for an answer when he kissed her. This time she felt his hand running down her back touching her hidden marks. Waldo pulled back from the kiss after a moment.
“Slavers tend to have the same tricks. They leave the same marks on one's body and some people's souls.” Waldo said quietly as he sat a breaths distance from Lydia’s face. The moment stretched as shared history passed between them and without a word spoken they had shared secrets too dark to udder in the quiet of the room then there was a roar of cheers from the commons breaking the spell that dark secrets of shared history had woven for a moment.
“I hope we can talk more.” Lydia said, after a moment now that the spell was broken. Lydia stood now that her head had cleared. Lydia was not sure what she would do if she stayed and questioned what she wanted.
“Will you stay?” Waldo asked, gently touching Lydia’s hand. Lydia did not pull away. Standing Lydia moved to the door. She intended to open the door and leave but she grabbed the night lock turning the knob. Waldo was not sure what he expected but he would not stop her from leaving. Waldo heard the door lock click into place, Lydia took a few steps toward the bath and moved her hair to one side exposing the ties along her back. Waldo stood and moved to her beginning to untie her dress. Once he was done. Lydia let the dress fall to the floor. Time stretched and shortened all at once and before he knew it exhaustion took them as they lay on the bed together. Lydia snuggled up to him and in a moment her breathing was even and gentle. Waldo knew she had fallen asleep in that moment of respite. Waldo watched her for a moment only to realize how tired he was and started to doze off but just as he heard a voice speak in his mind.
“Class gained Soldier, Level one. Skill gained, find allegiance.”
“Cancel! Reject!” Waldo whispered, angrily not wanting to wake Lydia.
“Class and level canceled.”
Waldo was fully awake now. Realizing he is on a game world, Waldo frowned. He considered this for a moment. Waldo had heard of these but never been on one. Now the injury made more sense. He had died on Halcyon. Waldo wondered if Jonah even cared that he had died. Waldo took a moment to consider the implications of being on a gaming world. There would be no intergalactic armada base here. Waldo knew the gaming worlds had been cut off, largely due to proximity. All the gaming worlds were the opposite side of the galaxy. The armada was still a thousand years of growth away. Waldo now knew with certainty there was no simple way back. As he considered this he realized there might be a way. Waldo thought about it for a few minutes as the idea grew in his mind and realized he truly did not want to go back. “I am a God.” Waldo thought to himself, Waldo felt something rush to the front of his mind, something that believed it or he was a god.
“Class gained God, level one. Skill gained, anoint worshiper. Quest assigned, claim domain.”
Waldo smiled, surprised it was that simple. Waldo considered trying to cancel it but part of him said if he was going to stay here he might as well be a god. Thinking he could do anything as a god. Another part said it was a bad idea and it would not be easy. Waldo wondered why he was feeling so conflicted about everything and why he did not feel like he was in perfect control. Then he wondered if the gods were dead on this world, would he be the only god around, and if so what domain he should claim. Waldo slowly drifted to sleep with these conflicting thoughts.

Kinkajou was flying in the crisp, chilly morning winds as she flew through the Rocky, and jagged cliffs that made up the Jade Mountain Range. Kinkajou was flying with nine other dragonets, four RainWings and five nightwings. They had been flying for a couple of hours, so they were exhausted. 

Kinkajou spotted a familiar Nightwing handing out scrolls to students. The Nightwing looked at Kinkajou, before her eyes narrowed at her. 

I (17f) have a stepmom linda who has 2 younger siblings are that close in age with me, jake (17m) and jane (16f). My stepmom doesnt live with me and my dad since they are seperated but my stepmom gave birth to my little brother a few months after the break up and hes the only reason why my stepmother and her siblings are still welcome in our house. now for context my stepmom's family has always been poor, poor to the point where they dont have electricity and water for months and my dad has to pay their overdue bills so they can have water and electricity again and because of this my stepmom and her siblings stay over at my house for a few weeks every other month and i basically share a room with jane during that time, jane is nice and we get along well but she literally looks through my clothes and everything i own and chooses stuff she likes and asks me if im willing to give it to her, usually i say no cause most of the stuff she picks out are either brand new like i havent even worn it that much yet or its either really expensive. i understand where shes coming from cause her family cant really afford to buy her new clothes she likes but idk its kind of really icky? to literally look through my clothes and practically guilt trip me into giving it to you and i do give her clothes i dont wear anymore my dads really understanding of linda's family situation so every year a week after new year we look through our closets and choose stuff we dont want anymore and give it to linda's family linda has always joked that jane is the luckiest cuz we share the same sizes from tops to pants to shoes, i really dont like when linda makes jokes like that cause sometimes she does the exact same thing as jane but worse she'll notice that i havent worn a pair of pants in a while or a pair of shoes then she'll suggest i give it to jane she even brings in my dad my dad usually takes my side but sometimes he takes my stepmoms side and im like guilt tripped into giving jane my stuff.
Last year jake found out i had a nintendo 3DS, im not close to jake as i am to jane cause we dont really have anything in common what i do know is jake is a avid gamer since he hogs my older brothers old ps4 whenever hes over and he practically sleeps on the couch because of it. i dont really use my nintendo 3ds much anymore ive had it since launch and i absolutely love it and when i first got it i used it daily for like 4 whole years, i still play occasionally mostly on long car rides and on planes but i mostly keep it hidden in a locked drawer in my room (for stuff i dont want jane to see or ask for yk) but last year linda decided to invite jake and jane to our vacation in the country side which was a 10 hour car drive so me, jake and jane all ended up sitting at the back together me behind the passenger seat, jake in the middle and jane behind the drivers seat because she wanted to see tbe window. I mostly just used my phone and had headphones in but about 5 hours in i decided to bring out my 3ds jake sees this i guess and he starts frantically tapping my shoulder so i could take out my headphones then he told me he didnt know i had one and he begs me to let him play i tell him no at first cause i wanted to play but he continued to beg and i got kind of annoyed and my stepmom heard jake begging and she told me to just let him try a bit so i decided to relent and he decided to play super smash bros and like 10 minutes in HE BROKE MY 3DS he was using the joystick too hard and it fucking snapped and a piece got stuck in like the inside?? honestly idk anyways i couldnt even move the joy stick anymore and like i was really upset cause i was planning on using it the whole trip and now its broken and i couldnt even use it anymore and i got really mad at jake but linda and jane defended him saying its a old console blah blah blah it probably broke cause its old but ive been using it for almost a decade and ive played super aggressive games of mario cart and smash too but my joycon has NEVER SNAPPED BEFORE. we were able to get it fixed like 1 month after but it was kind of pricey and jake never apologized and ive been hiding my 3ds since, jake has been asking me about borrowing it since its gotten fixed but everytime he asks i remind him hes the reason why i had to get it fixed anyways so no.
anyways this year for my birthday i told my dad i wanted a gaming console but i wasnt sure on what console yet so i told him i'll him what i want later and he agreed anyways jake finds out about this somehow and starts like hounding me and starts like rambling about different consoles and that i should get xyz and ive noticed most of the consoles hes been reccomending have been ones that have to be set up in like the living room and has the option for multiple players not weird since most game consoles are like that but ive told him multiple times that i want a handheld one but hes been presistent on those types but the one hes been pushing for the most is the nintendo switch and the ps5. Ive actually been kind of dead set on the nintendo switch since ive always been a nintendo games lover and animal crossing has my heart but i was having second thoughts and ive been sort of debating on getting the steam deck instead but ive decided fully on the nintendo switch but since ive noticed jake pestering me on consoles that can be hooked up to the TV i decided to get the lite version so he wont have any reason to borrow it since it cant be multiplayer or hooked up to the tv. jake somehow found out about this decision since i told my dad about it and hes been nagging at me about how much better the normal version is and how the lite is practically a rip off and how the normal version has way more uses and i sort of snap at him and told him its not like im gonna lend it to him and that i have no use for any of the uses hes talking about since im planning on playing alone. linda hears this and starts berating me on how much of a brat i am and how selfish i am and that i should understand where jake is coming from since they cant afford stuff like that and how much jake loves gaming and how im not as serious into gaming as he is and jake was saying how much of a asshole i was and honestly i am so over it my dad is 50/50 on it and is trying to be a peace maker and linda, jake and jane are all hounding me about it so AITA?
TL;DR: stepmom's family is poor and is constanly pestering me on giving out my stuff to them and my stepmoms younger brother breaks my nintendo 3ds and starts pestering me on buying a nintendo switch when he hears about me buying a new game console so he can use it too i tell him im never lending it to him and he calls me a asshole

I was reminded recently of a memory from when I was around 11 of my mother having a meltdown on the stairs. She kept repeating to me 'I wish you were dead, I wish you would kill yourself, I wish you were gone already' etc. The worst thing was that she wasn't saying this maliciously, she was just sobbing violently with so much sorrow and hurt. because of this, I can't help but feel like her words held truth. this was a very abrupt, candid meltdown, free of her usual manipulative undertones which suggests to me that maybe I really was a more difficult, a more bothersome, a more unlikeable child than others my age. her words haunt me everywhere I go and they hurt all the more because I really was very suicidal at that age. it was like she had read my mind and confirmed the idea that the only way to help the people around me was to kill myself.
I am 16 now and thankfully living with my father instead. I see her only occcasionally and when I do, she typically puts some effort in to be fairly normal and have an ordinary conversation with me without any usual violent breakdowns or arguments. I should be grateful for this, but this normalcy instead angers me. the fact that the hatred in our relationship is now one-sided from my end is a strange role reversal. I do not think it's entirely real either, there is something decidely fake in her eyes and I don't believe her friendly demeanor is true. however, when I dare mention how we 'don't have the best relationship' I'm met with confusion and denial to why is this the case. any effort to bring up the aforementioned memory or any that preceded is quickly dismissed. my mother seemingly suffers from selective amnesia and cannot recall any instance when she mistreated me or acted cruel towards my young self
to worsen this, my father also considers the relationship I have with my mother to be faulty from both ends and believes I should've put effort into fixing it. this appears to me unfair, and I don't see why the burden of mending a broken parent-child relationship should be put on the child. the explanation for this was that since my mother will not possibly even contemplate the possibility of attending any form of therapy then I should do so instead (the therapy ended up being terrible and I have not attended therapy ever since). I also doubt he sees our relationship as abusive, pathological or dysfunctional in any way. I feel guilty even typing the word 'abusive' as though all the pain and horror of my childhood was purely a product of my imagination. recently on my 16th birthday I told him it was a shock that I was already at that age and he replied that he has been treating me as an adult for years. perhaps that is why our perspectives differ
my brother is 14 and still living with my mother and his bitterness towards her at least somewhat confirms my beliefs that the family we were raised in was not entirely normal. I'm not even entirely sure myself what occured when I was a child; I am left with few memories and those that I do hold are scattered and the events are unclear. for example, I vividly remember being around 8 or 9 and begging God to kill me, which is my earliest recollection of suicidal thoughts (although I was not yet entirely familiar with the concept at the time, hence why I thought I had to ask God for death rather than take the matter within my own hands). I don't know what led to that moment nor what happened after but I never asked Him of anything ever again. because of these memories, I know that something was very very wrong, either with me or my familty, but the lack of clarity on the source of this still brings me a lot of anguish
to anyone in a similar situation, did you ever end up recollecting those memories? is it better to break contact or try to change things? how do you know if your childhood was abusive or whether you really were at fault? are some children really worse to deal with than others, or am I right to consider the actions of my mother as unforgivable? I am tired of endless doubt and I want answers

u/SpacePaladin15 is responsible for the creation of the NOP universe. u/JulianSkies is responsible for the creation of a metric fuckton of fics within that universe.
this story is my ficnapping entry for... uhhhh... *checks notes* old scabbard, the allergy, gremlins, game review: escape series, river wolves and meteors. it's probably not strictly necessary to read them to enjoy this ficnap? but you should do it anyway, because they are Very Excellent™.
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Reunion ////// Wednesday, July 9th, 2138 8:16 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the middle of the week. For most bars, it is a time of quiet, of minimal activity. Some scant few people might show up; either regulars who come every day, or those who seek to unwind with a quick drink or just get out of the house for a bit, but they don't often stay long. They get one or two cups, share the bare minimum of a chat, and then get on their merry way.
...But of course, that's just the way humans do things.
The countless aliens who have taken up residence in Sao Paulo since the fall of the Federation simply don't seem to care for our silly calendar. They come in whenever they please, week or weekend, midday or midnight, rain or shine. Sometimes they want to get blackout drunk, other times they just want a quick taste of home. Or, there's always the frequent visitor who's just here to get their fill of social contact. Those ones are perhaps my favorite. After the horrors of the Federation War, and taking refuge on Skalga, I certainly won't ever tire of seeing aliens and humans—total strangers to one another—start chatting and getting along, coexisting in peace and harmony, without anyone batting an eye.
Today, though... was not the typical rush of aliens and one or two human regulars. When the bell above the door jingled and a figure stepped in from the cool outside air, consider my surprise to see not a small fluffy thing with no clothes, but a tall, lanky human man, with a face I hadn't seen in months.
"Lucas," I jovially said. "Welcome. It's good to see you again."
He smiled bashfully and raised an arm in a silent wave, seeing a dozen heads turn to look at him. One head in particular turned much farther than the rest; a gaunt human woman, accompanied by a relaxed venlil—Bella Rivers and Taya, both of whom are... perhaps my most frequent guests. "Oh damn! And here I was starting to think you died in a car accident, Luc," Bella said, clearly surprised to see another human at this hour, letalone one who'd been absent for so long.
"Haha, no..." Lucas said, making a beeline for the bar. "Just been... er, busy, you know how it is. How've things been here?"
Bella cast a brief glance at me, asking a silent question, to which I gave a simple nod. "It's been great," she answered in my stead. "Every day feels like more people know about this place. I keep telling Keeps to start thinking about remodeling, get some more space in here before it starts turning into a moshpit every weekend."
Lucas let out a chuckle. "I almost can't believe you two come here so often that you can say that."
Taya leaned around Bella just enough to look Lucas in the eye. "Well no duh! Where else are we gonna go? Name one pub in this city besides The Crossroad that's licensed to sell alien food and drink, and always cares about dietary restrictions!"
Bella laughed. "Okay girl, you ain't gotta shill that hard."
"Nuh uh. I'm not drunk enough not to shill," the normally-reserved venlil droned. She most certainly was a little drunk...
"Speaking of," I cut in, turning to Lucas. "The usual?"
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You still remember my drink?"
"Of course."
He looked thoughtful for a moment, before smiling. "Yeah. I'd love that."
I wasted no time in gathering my tools and the requisite bottles and ingredients to put together his complicated order. To say I pride myself on remembering my patrons, their quirks, and their likes and dislikes... would be an understatement. What is a barkeep if not the central pillar of the establishment? It simply wouldn't do for me to be anything less than reliable.
"For real though," Bella said. "It's not just the food that keeps us here. Like yeah, I love being able to trust my food, but there's more to it. Just look around," she waved a hand out at the rest of the room, "Isn't it great, seeing so many different people, from so many different walks of life, all come together in one place? Back during the war, I... we never imagined we'd get to see something like this. And yet here we are, back on Earth, with God knows how many aliens just hangin' around, being chill, doing their things."
"Huh... yeah, I guess I can see it-- ah, thanks Keeps," Lucas said as I passed him his completed drink. "If you forget everything that's happened, it kinda does look like how everyone dreamed things would go before first contact."
Bella smiled wistfully, idly swirling her half-full drink with her straw. "I think it's amazing. All these different cultures and faces mashing together at once, just this giant melting pot of people and worldviews and everything."
"...Yeah. It really is incredible."
Bella's brows furrowed as Lucas wasted no time in taking a large swig of his drink. It seemed as if something was on his mind, and perhaps she could tell. "Hey... where have you been, these past few months?"
"I've... well," he put down his glass, staring at it almost disdainfully. And after I'd made it so perfectly for him, to boot. Rude. "I've actually been trying to uh, cut back on the drinking..."
Bella turned, glancing confusedly at Taya, who flicked her tail in equal uncertainty. "Really? But you've always been such a responsible drinker. I don't think I can even remember a single time you've ever caused trouble, or got sick or anything. Did something happen?"
"No, nothing like that. I just wanted... well, here, look at this," he said and produced his holopad, skillfully swiping to his photo album. In seconds, he pulled up a picture of himself alongside an alien with gray fur... and long, floppy, dog-like ears. A farsul. "This is Talon. He's been staying with me since the xenomed center got going full swing."
Taya recoiled at the sight, ears flattening in apparent anger before Bella turned and shot her a firm glare. The venlil immediately shrunk on herself, looking both apologetic, and yet still agitated.
"I'm doing it for him. He... um, let's just say he gets a little nervous," Lucas mumbled. He swiped to another picture, this time with Talon hanging off his arm like a monkey, tongue lolling out of his wide-open muzzle in obvious glee. "He's such a sweet little guy, like the brother I never had. But it wasn't good for him, to be dealing with me coming home drunk. He needs stability, consistency. I... was making him worry whether I'll be the same every time I walk through the door. So I promised him I'd stop."
Bella put a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Well that's sweet of you. I can tell you care a lot."
Lucas frowned. "Of course I care. After the shit he got put through in those... fucking goddamn facilities."
A bubble of silence surrounded the trio as his words sunk in. Bella swirled her drink one last time before she took a huge swig. Lucas watched her for a moment before he grabbed his own near-full glass and downed the whole of it in one fell swoop.
"Hhh. So much for that," he grumbled as he glared down at his freshly emptied cup. Then his expression softened slightly, turning closer to remorse. "...Sorry. I didn't mean to fuck up the vibe. I uh, got some other pics of him if--"
"No, Lucas, it's okay," Taya suddenly said. "There's nothing wrong with being honest. Especially not in a place like this," she pointed one eye toward me, "ain't that right, Keeps?"
All I could offer in response was a curt nod.
Bella reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder. "If something's on your mind, then... c'mon, be straight with us."
Lucas sighed. "I wish there were more I could do for him," he bluntly said. "We've tried so many things to help him stay calm. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, music... but it's never enough. He still just can't function in public, or around new people, or... anywhere. Especially if I'm not there. And I don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling him to take as long as he needs, but I..." Lucas slouched over, holding his head in his hands, "I feel like every time takes a little longer."
"Um... Y'know..." Taya spoke up, as her ears twisted nervously. "It... sounds like, maybe, um... he... needs a friend?"
"I am his friend," Lucas deadpanned.
"N-no, I mean... oorgh, how do I say this?"
"I think what she's trying to say is... if you want a little help, Lucas, we'd be happy to be there for you. For him."
Lucas's brows furrowed for a moment before he seemed to grasp what she was saying, and his eyes went wide. "Really? But-" his eyes locked onto Taya, "but you're--"
Taya shook her head. "Don't say it. I... I know. I know what I am," she all but whispered. "But maybe I don't want to be like... this. Maybe I want to be better. After all, if I'd never tried to have an open mind about humans, I never would've met Bella!"
"Well... okay," Lucas said, as a small smile grew on his face. "Here. Lemme get your numbers, and I'll talk to him, and we'll get in touch?"
Bella nodded and presented her pad, as Taya did the same. "Yep! And hey, if he isn't up to meeting in person, maybe you can see if he wants to try just being... like, pen pals or something?"
"Hah. He's not a child, you know. But thanks. I really mean it."
"I know you mean it. We're glad to help."
The three of them tapped pads to exchange contacts, and with that, their fates became intertwined. Whatever may happen to them after today, I cannot know. A humble barkeeper such myself shan't be blessed with the absolutes of the future. Some may try to predict what is to come, but I believe the future is theirs to decide, that they may take whatever happens in their own hands and mold it to their will.
It is all I can hope that Bella and Taya will return and share with me the stories of their antics. Or, as unlikely as it seems, perhaps Lucas could bring Talon here, for them both to participate in this gathering of souls; for them to find joy among friends new and old; for the chance to walk the wondrous crossroads of life and love.
​
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Scampering Menaces ////// Monday, July 14th, 2138 1:39 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Monday. The day of loathing. Of rest and relaxation coming to an end. Of waking up early, getting ready for work, and repeating yet another week of monotony. Some would question my sanity, to open the bar at all on a Monday, letalone to do so at noon. But those foolish few simply haven't seen how excited aliens can be about something so mundane as lunch.
But alas, the lunch rush never persists forever, and just like always, I eventually found my beloved pub woefully empty. As it would likely stay for the rest of the afternoon, save for the occasional visitor with a more unusual schedule.
...Or, perhaps, should I be so lucky... a much more rare sight; a true oddity, who might seek to come here only during the dead hours.
And wouldn't you know, it was on this day that I was blessed with one such patron. Or... multiple patrons. A human and a trio... no, quartet of dossur. It was very much a challenge for me to keep track of the little sapient rodents as they skittered about, both on and literally around their human, but I was more than certain that there were definitely only four of them.
At first, I thought there were three dossur. But then one of them retreated into their human's apparently rather spacious hoodie, and a very distinctly different dossur came out. She looked... mangy, for lack of a polite term, with numerous patches of discolored and uneven fur, and what appeared to be a few healed scars. It was clear to me that she must have been through something horrible, and yet had been saved by the miracle of modern medicine.
The small group's incursion upon my shop was... relatively peaceful. They certainly had no qualms about using their outdoor voices, speaking loudly and freely about whatever came to mind, from plans for when they got home, to theorycrafting about potential vacations they could take, and even to the status of the Sapient Coalition as a whole. I, of course, had no right to begrudge them for being so noisy—they were the only ones in the bar, after all.
But everything changed when the front door swung open, the gentle dingle of the bell heralding the arrival of yet another rare antisocial patron.
To my surprise, this newcomer was another human. But not just any human, oh no, this was a very particular human. One who I could say might be somewhat of a regular, despite his tendency to avoid the busier hours. It was no trouble for me to recognize him from the slightest glance, as his unforgettable silver hair, and the red highlights within, matched gorgeously with his red scarf.
As he entered, a somewhat shorter than average venlil trailed close behind. He too wore a red scarf, though for a... different reason. A deeply personal reason, that neither he nor his human have ever seemed keen to share. And I, out of respect for them both, shan't pry.
With a brief, wary glance at the table of chaos, the two of them made their way toward the bar. They hardly made it more than a few steps before a painfully loud shriek, followed by three more of the same, damn near shattered every piece of glass in my bar.
"HUMY!!!!!" "OH MY GOD HI!!" "JOHN! LOOK!!" "Don't yell in my ear--" "Wait is it really-- IT IS! GUYS GET OUT HERE--"
And in a staggering instant... where I thought there were only four dossur, I was once again proven thoroughly WRONG. From within John's hoodie came not one, not two, but four more of the little bastards! There were eight of them! They all scampered up their poor handler's arms and stood on his head and shoulders, waving their whole bodies and jumping up and down, and being so very loud.
"HI HUMY!!!!!!!!" "HI!!!" "HIIIIII!!!!!!" "He's so tall..." "Is that VV?? HI VV!!" "WOW I didn't know his hair was really that white!"
Humy, while certainly shocked by the sudden attention, somehow managed to take it in stride. He raised a hand and waved back to the crowd of not-squirrels, the action shutting them up for only a moment before they started squealing even LOUDER in sheer excitement.
"Guys... Y'all oughta quiet down a bit," John said... or so I think. I frankly couldn't hear him over the orchestra of rodent insanity.
One particularly bold dossur—the one with the damaged fur—made her way down from the chaos table and practically sprinted to Humy's legs, before climbing him like a tree. He recoiled in surprise, but she kept going until she was leaning off the top of his head, staring straight into his eyes. The others went silent, waiting with bated breath for whatever might happen next.
...
"Hi."
The poor man, frazzled, startled, accosted-by-an-alien-squirrel, took a long moment before he figured out what to do about this situation. "Um. Hi."
Unfortunately, that was the wrong response.
"HE SAID HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I WANNA SAY HI TO HUMY!!" "THAT'S NOT FAIR, HOW COME SHE GETS--" "JOHN!!!" "Guys, pl--" "--TO SAY HI TO HIM?!?!!?!" "JOHN BRING US TO HIM OR DIE"
John abruptly slapped the table and stood up, nearly flinging half of his passengers in different directions as they panicked and clung to him for dear life. "I'm so sorry," he quickly said, "They're not usually like this. We'll just be going," he turned to me, making eye contact for an instant, "Cya later, Keeps."
"No, wait!" Humy said, just barely before the swarm could scream their collective dissent. "Please don't. I don't mind, I promise. All I ask is you quieten down a notch, is that okay?"
The dossur looked amongst each other; some of them drooped in shame, while others seemed to simply not grasp the relevance of the request. But in the end, it was John who spoke up first. "He's right, guys. Y'all need to tone it down. No more screaming."
"Okay?" "Sorry..." "Makes sense." "SURE!!--"
John immediately snatched up that particular troublemaker before stuffing him in his hoodie, never to be seen again.
"Ah... anyway..." Humy said, and gestured to the counter, where VV had already taken a seat during the commotion. John took the unspoken invitation, and the middle-aged man reunited with his friend as the dossur wrangler sat on his other side.
The swarm, of course, wasted no time in dismounting John and lining up right in front of poor Humy. Or, well, only two of them lined up. One crawled up onto his sleeve, two onto his shoulders, and the last simply kept climbing around, seemingly not intent on stopping ever. The seventh and eighth remained imprisoned in John's pocket and sprawled out atop Humy's head, respectively.
"Is Humy your real name?" "Why's your hair white?" "Your scarves are so cool!" "What's your favorite fruit?"
Humy burst out in a fit of chuckles, evidently amused by the dossur speaking over each other in their haste to treat him like a talking jungle gym. "Wow. John, right?" he turned to the other human, who gave a curt nod. "How do you live with this?"
"Very patiently," John deadpanned. "No one would ever believe me if I told them these little shits are highly trained Marines."
"Have you ever been on a cruise?" "What's your favorite game?" "If I gave you a strawberry, would you eat it?" "Are you two dating?" "Seriously, why's your hair white!?"
"Okay, okay, c'mon, one at a time! Why don't all of you line up right here in front of me, and I'll go down the line?"
"No." "...Nah." "It's comfy up here." "And it's boring down there!" "And your hair smells good..."
Humy sighed and shook his head, but his smile betrayed his mirth at the situation. "Fine... let's see... you, at the very top. What's your question?"
"Huh? Oh, uhhh-" the mangled one trailed off. She'd been rather quiet the whole time. "Hmm... what's your next video gonna be, and when's it gonna be out?"
"Ooh!" "Yeah!" "Yes yes yes tell us!" "Genius question, Fée!"
Humy, despite the dossurs' excitement, grimaced. "I'm sorry, you guys, but I can't answer that. I just can't leak upcoming content!"
"Auugh!" "Noo c'mon!" "What." "That's not fair!"
"But..." Humy cut them off, looking thoughtful. "Well... maybe I can tell you one thing. I might have something very, very special lined up soon. Do you all remember when I played that thafki game, Survivor? Well I--"
Humy jumped, startled as VV—who'd been totally quiet and unobtrusive the whole time—abruptly grabbed his sleeve and tugged it sharply. A sheepish expression spread across the human's face. "Oops! Can't spoil the surprise. Sorry! How 'bout we hear another question?"
The dossur pouted, looking dejected, disappointed and all-around displeased. But, with that, the seven tiny herbivores quickly moved on, and continued to pester Humy with evermore nonsense. Too much nonsense. Truly, veritably, too much.
It wasn't until hours later, around 4 PM, that both parties finally grew fatigued and split ways. In the wake of their madness, I could feel nothing but gratitude for the fact that, despite their behavior, the rodents hadn't made a mess of anything, nor skipped out on their tab. While they were loud, and excitable, and far too much enjoyed using poor Humy as a playground... they weren't hooligans. They were, in the end, people. Not just noisy squirrels.
With that in mind... perhaps, maybe, just maybe, next time they come in... I wouldn't be unwilling to greet them, to welcome them to this place of character and merriment; to welcome their uniqueness among the myriad faces that make themselves known; to invite them in as members, as friends, as we all tread upon the ever-exciting crossroads of greetings and farewells.
​
////////////////////////// Barkeep's Log: Mayflies ////// Friday, August 1st, 2138 9:05 PM, Brasilia Time //////////////////////////
Ah, the weekend. For a bar, it is the busiest time one could imagine. But for a bartender such as myself, it is so much more. The activity, the bustle, the countless different people coming together and simply being themselves. Just by merely being here, serving drinks and dinner to all who would want it, I am blessed with the wondrous opportunity to overhear talk and tales of peoples' lives—their homes, their hopes and dreams, their fears and regrets.
And today, of course, was no exception. Perchance, allow me to skip the lengthy preamble and get to the good stuff.
The moment an elderly, borderline decrepit old man entered the bar, he had my attention. Someone his age, coming somewhere like this, alone? The scenario piqued my curiosity.
He had a tired air to him, something between boredom, the general fatigue that comes with such advanced age and... if my keen eyes didn't deceive me, a touch of discomfort. As if he was out of his element in some way, not quite sure what to do with himself. He kept silent, bothering no one as he approached the counter and scanned one of the many QR codes plastered around the dining room.
His face stayed the same as he reviewed The Crossroads' prodigious menu, as though he was unimpressed with our unrivaled selection. But then, he paused, and something changed in his stance. His eyes flicked up and met mine, his expression suddenly lit ablaze, full of energy that wasn't there before. "Redtato tacos?" he curtly asked, sounding almost bewildered. His gaze dropped back down to the menu, to the other dishes on that same page. "Spice plates... cricket burgers," he looks back up at me, wearing a deranged grin, "even goddamn ichor ice cream? You're insane."
"Insane? Tell me you're new here without telling me," a new voice interjected. One of the other patrons—a thafki, who unlike her kin, had taken to wearing a black hoodie with the emblem of the United Nations—turned to us, appearing amused as she looked between me and the old man. "Wow, you're a perfect match for one another. Didn't think humans could get any older than ol' Barkeep here. What's someone as ancient as you doing here, new guy?"
"Hah. I like you, Blue," the man said as he took a seat beside the nosy and maybe slightly drunk alien.
"My name's not Blue. Call me Ayeli."
He held out a hand toward Ayeli. She glanced at it before shaking it without a second thought. "Ryusei," he said, before eyeing her beverage. "Tell you what, Barkeep, gimme one of whatever that is. And a refill for her, if she'll have it."
"Saltwine," I said, and reached beneath the counter to procure the bottle from which I'd poured Ayeli's first glass. I turned it back and forth in front of him, letting him read the translated label. "Be warned. This is a specialty item. It is not to most peoples' tastes, nor is it cheap."
"Pfft just do it. I've eaten rocks, you old coot."
The sheer brazenness of his words, the unwavering resolve in his eyes, and the utter lack of hesitation in his voice, took me truly off guard for the first time in a long, long while. "I'm not an old coot, you bumbling codger," I grumbled as I took a glass and filled it. Then, putting my professional facade back on just like nothing ever happened, I turned to Ayeli and hovered the bottle over her cup. She gave a thumbs up, and I poured.
Ryusei stared at me with a smug grin. "Pff. Looked in a mirror lately? Time ain't been good to you, friend. Look at all them gray hairs. Yeek."
"I can poison you in seventeen different ways," I deadpanned.
"As if I'd even be able to tell? There's nothing you can do to me that my body hasn't done at least twice already."
"Venlise alcohol. Not diluted."
"Now there'd be a challenge..." he murmured, before his attention drifted to his idle drink. He raised the glass to his lips and took a hearty sip, allowing the fluid—its texture, its flavor—to rest in his mouth before swallowing. "Mmh. Damn."
"You like it?" Ayeli asked.
"Y'know what? Yeah. Shit's weird in all the right ways. Hits your tongue like a pile of salt, but goes down smooth. No aftertaste, no burn, just a quick slap in the face and then it's gone."
Ayeli drummed her fingers on the counter before taking a long swig of her own drink. "Mmmhmm. That's how it is. How it's meant to be. I can't wait 'til someone figures out how to make this stuff for cheap."
"Speaking of. Ey Barkeep, put me down for one of them fucked up tacos. Let's see just how close a buncha earthlings can get to authentic Martian cuisine."
With a nod and several practiced movements, I had his request sent to the kitchen in seconds. I don't believe he saw me even touch the order pad with how fast I was.
"...Martian?" Ayeli asked. "Now hang on. That's... the red planet, no?"
"Mhm," The man let out a grunt of affirmation. "First planet humanity settled besides Earth. It's a dead, empty husk. Nothing but rocks and dust and solar radiation. I was born there."
"Huh. What're you doing here, then? There no bars on Mars?"
"...Classified."
"Oh. Yeah..."
Quiet spread between the two, Ayeli staring blankly into her own reflection within her glass. Ryusei's eyes slowly drifted toward her as his brow furrowed. "You... were a soldier, huh?"
Ayeli jolted, startled by the question. "Wh--? How... I mean, yeah. I guess I was. But how can you tell?"
"Eh. I've been there. Where you are now."
"...What?"
He took another sip. "You know how it is. Everything goes to shit. Then it gets better. Now everyone's pretending life is back to normal, and you have to pretend too. Even if you lost friends. Or family. Or... parts of yourself."
...
Ayeli frowned. "I... yeah. I guess."
"You guess?"
"It's... it's not that I've lost people. Or parts of myself," she said. "It's not even that I have to pretend that everything's back to normal."
Ryusei raised an eyebrow.
"All things considered, I've lost nothing. I joined the UN Marines, killed some lizards, and now I'm here. And I'm fine. Not even 'oh you're lying to yourself, you need a therapist' fine, but just... actually fine."
"Why's that, do you think?"
"I don't know. All my friends are so much worse off than me. They're all... fucked up, from everything. But I'm not. I just don't feel anything."
"I just... shouldn't I feel something?" she continued. "I've killed people. Drowned people. Slit throats. But whenever I think about it, there's just nothing. No guilt, no shame, no... no empathy."
"I understand," Ryusei breathed. Something behind his eyes changed, his tone becoming more... genuine. "You and I are alike, in a way."
"...Really?"
Ryusei swirled his drink before taking a quick sip. "When I was younger, I was part of something bigger than myself. It was dangerous as all hell—sixty percent fatality rate—but I was glad to be doing it. Glad to be playing my part. Happy to risk my life so someone else doesn't have to. But then it was over, and I got back to life like normal. I got my accolades, I took my damn awards, and I went home. And that was that."
"Except it wasn't," he continued. "I went home, and found out my family had ripped themselves apart. Half of em were obviously over the moons with pride, knowing I'd been there in the very front and came home a goddamn hero. But the rest... they had been scared. Terrified they'd never see me again. It was all they wanted for me to just come home and be safe."
"And... that's what got you?" Ayeli asked. Something in her voice was vulnerable, almost afraid. "The fact that you were ready to move on, but no one else was?"
Ryusei nodded. "I felt like a shithead not because I'd almost died a hundred times, but because I'd been the reason my parents got divorced."
Ayeli stared into nothing, dead silent for a long moment before she grabbed her drink and downed the remainder of it in one go. "F-fuck," she rasped. "It was supposed to go back to normal. We were supposed to have our happy ending. So why is everyone still like this? Why can't we just be okay now?"
"Because people need time, kid. You and I are the exceptions. You'll get your happy ending, you just... gotta wait. Gotta be there for them when they need you."
"How?"
"Whatever way you can. My little brother got hit the hardest by our parents' shitshow. He couldn't stand being around either of them. So I would drive him out to the middle of nowhere, and we'd just watch the universe go by. We'd count the stars, talk about how small we are, how it just keeps going, how empty it all is, yet still teeming with mystery. By the end of it, we'd both be feeling better... and then we'd do it again a week later when we felt like shit again. And on and on, for years."
"...We've already seen the stars though. How would that help?"
Ryusei slid his glass over to Ayeli, offering her the last few sips he had. "There are more things of beauty in this world than just the stars. Take it from me, old fart that I am—if you just take the time to look, you can find meaning anywhere. Even things you might take for granted."
Ayeli perked up, as if she'd realized something. "The ocean..."
"Something like that."
"It's... it's simple, it's mundane, it's so normal to us now that we can just go swimming whenever we like. But ten years ago, that would've been different. We... we did it. We changed it. For ourselves. We won."
"You hit the nail on the head, Blue. Tell all that to your pals. Really show them that it's over."
She looked down at the drink she'd been given, and lifted it to her lips to take a small sip. "An ocean of water, an ocean of stars... what difference does it make? Maybe you're right. Maybe we really are alike."
"Both have been around for millenia. And both will be there still, long after we're gone," Ryusei said. He looked down at his hands, an odd half-smile on his face. "Call me a sentimental old coot, but part of me still finds comfort in the stars. An infinite sea of beacons, shining in every direction for eternity. Always there, always waiting, no matter what."
"Mmm... y'know, it's funny. Our ancient ancestors probably each thought the same at one point or another. Wonder if any of 'em ever looked up in just the right place, at the right time... and looked straight at each other, even if they didn't know it."
"Heh. As much as I want to rain on your parade and say that's impossible... well, just look at the two of us, eh? The chance that we both would happen to be here, right now. Maybe it's not. The universe is pretty damn huge, and yet here we are."
Ayeli sat up straight in her seat, a determined look spreading across her face. "Yeah. I... I think I know what to do. How to help everyone else move on. Thanks for the drinks, 'Keep. And the chat, Ryusei."
"Yeah yeah. Go on, get outta here. Get back to your friends."
The thafki nodded and gave us both a smile, and then with one last wave goodbye, she made her way out of the establishment. Ryusei sighed and turned back to the bar, crossing his arms and slouching in that tired, past-our-prime way we both must know so well.
Before long, his plate of redtato tacos were brought out, and without another word, he got to work. He remained silent as he ate, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was satisfied.
"Alright... yeah, yeah you did good..." he said when there was nothing left to eat. "I'll remember this place. Think if I ever end up 'round here again, I might stop by."
"You'll always be welcome... until you call me old again. Then you might find something different in your cup than you ordered."
He laughed, grinning like a madman as he stood from his seat. "Bold of you to threaten me with a good time. Now I'm definitely coming back!"
With that, he paid for his meal and his and Ayeli's drinks, and just as suddenly as it all began, he was gone. The cycle of greetings and goodbyes played its part yet again, bringing us together and pulling us apart as if no time had passed at all.
But where his and Ayeli's presence left my bar, their imprints have not. In my memory, and theirs, lies the everlasting essence of our encounter. The feelings of meeting, of learning, of sharing ourselves—and above all else, the words they spoke. The sentiment has truly been burned into my recollection, never to be forgotten with how it touched my heart, my very soul.
How wondrous it is that two people so similar and yet so different could ever meet. The universe is vast—immeasurably so—and still they both happened to be in the right place at the right time for their lives to become intertwined. Is it coincidence? Is it fate? I can't possibly know. Such things are beyond my station. All I can say for certain is that it will happen again, and again, on an eternal cycle. So long as life itself persists, people will always be bound to find one another.
And that, I believe... is the true beauty of our crossroads of destiny.
//////////////////////////

At the end of the story, Hitogami basically says that he's going to manipulate Rudeus' descendants to fight each other to make sure his fate of getting killed by Orsted through his descendants' assistance is ruined since their fate is weaker than his. I made a post about this a while back because I was concerned about how some of Rudeus' children are aligned with different factions with possibly impeding war by the end of the Jobless Oblige, so Hitogami could manipulate events in the background to cause more mayhem and make his defeat more difficult.
But then I thought about it for a minute and thought: Where does this dude get this confidence from? Ever since Rudeus entered the world, many things have not gone as expected in Orsted's previous loops and have unexpectedly happened. Him, Nanahoshi, and Akihito were specifically summoned for his defeat and to assist Orsted through some capacity. Rudeus' offspring are not affected by Orsted's curse, so they're trusted allies. They are all aware about the threat of Hitogami, one of them being the chosen one who is instrumental in his death. Nothing he has done since he became this version of Rudeus' enemy has gone according to plan:

• Tries to trick him into killing his pregnant wife because she will bear the chosen; his future self comes in and tells him Hitogami is the true villain and she's born anyway.
  
• Threatens his family that if he wants to protect them, he needs to kill Orsted (to at least eliminate 1 or both of his biggest threats); the 2 end up becoming allies to kill him and founds a company with the sole intent of fucking up all his plans.
  
• Attempts to sabotage Ariel's ascension by deceiving Luke and throwing high/top tier fighters to kill Rudeus & Co. as well as destroy their only means to access the kingdom through an elite nobleman; Luke ends up ratting himself out and is forgiven, the fighters and the elite nobleman are killed off, and through his interference, Rudeus was able to gain a powerful ally (Perugius & Tristina) to assist Ariel's succession against her brother.
  
• Destroys a part of Orsted's plan to ensuring Pax's survival by manipulating third-parties to push him to suicide to ensure that the future kingdom he creates doesn’t come to pass and making Laplace's birthplace unknown; Zanoba ends up becoming aware of Hitogami's role in his brother's death and swears fealty to Orsted, becoming a subsidiary of the Orsted Corporation that produces magical tools and research for him.
  
• Convinces Geese to backstabbing Rudeus while his guard is down in Millis; Geese ends up ratting himself out to Rudeus that he was Hitogami's hidden apostle that Orsted never discovered in previous loops and basically tells Rudeus he's preparing to fight him. Spoiler alert: he loses.
  

Like, this guy just keeps catching more and more L's as time goes on. By the time Rudeus is dead, the guy is practically venting. He was saying all that good shit, but just kept getting kicked in his chest the moment he made Rudeus his enemy. This is ignoring many other aspects like Lara's direct involvement in his demise, Akihito's future role, the stuff with Elinalise, so many changes in this loop that has worked in Orsted's favor, and the fact that Rudeus has made so many people, of many races, aware of his existence and deception and the creation of his extensive subsidiary mercenary company was made to prevent that.
How does this guy think he's gonna win?

Meanwhile, at the Base of the Barbarian Tribe, the King, Clint Orons had talked to the Messenger. "I shall consider the proposal." said Clint. "Sire." said Deronix, "we should be watching for the so-called 'Heroes'.". "so be it." said Clint. That was where one of the Council Members came towards Clint. "King Orons." said The Council Member. "Yes." said Clint. "With all due respect, we don't really know what the heroes are all about." said the Council Member. Meanwhile, at the crash site of the Kor'Drakk Cruiser, Alan had informed Joseph about the situation that had happened so far. "Where is the Undead Keep?" asked Kar'Gorto. "I'm not certain." said Kalzortus, "Perhaps we could ask the Orcs.". "I can't believe this." said Broktar, "of all the possible situations, you suggest asking the Orcs. Even when you said that you found them to be brutish in nature.".
At that moment, a Orc Warrior had approached the ship. "Sir." said Helmsman Mecator, "There's a Orc warrior at the side of the ship.". "Patch the Transmission to the Ready Room." said Captain Zordash. That was where Helmsman Mecator had patched the transmission to the ready room. "Captain Zordash." said the Orc. "yes, Comrade." said Captain Zordash, "What is it that you want?". "Xeintox has suggested that i come and help the Heroes." said the Orc, "i can help, by leading you to the Undead Keep.". At that moment, Tirus, Rotusor, and Officer Morgan had arrived at the area. "So." said Officer Morgan, "This is the object that had been sighted.". "I wonder where Alan And Broktar are located?" said Tirus.
That was where the Orc Warrior had turned to face Tirus, Rotusor, and Officer Morgan. "I should have figured." said the Orc, as he went for his axe. Tirus had gone for her bow and arrows. "wait a minute." said Rotusor. "What do you mean?" asked Tirus. "The Orc may actually be trying to help the crew of the ship." said Rotusor. "You may be right." said Officer Morgan, "i say we let him have a chance.". "if you insist." said Tirus. That was where the Orc had approached Tirus, Rotusor, and Officer Morgan. "I'm quite surprised." said the Orc, "i thought you would have fired on me, without a second thought.". "state the reason you have approached the ship." said Rotusor. "It is because my boss, Xeintox had sent me to lead a group of warriors to the Undead Keep." said the Orc. "Is that so." said Rotusor.
At that moment, Alan and Broktar had exited the cruiser. That was where Broktar had noticed Rotusor. "By the Moons of Artiox." said Broktar. "What do you mean by that?" asked Alan. "It's a figure of speech." said Broktar. That was where the Orc warrior had approached Alan and Broktar. "Well, Comrade." said Broktar, "Let's get a move on.". "What about our mission of finding allies to help fight the Master Of Zombies and the Undead Forces?" Asked Alan. "You are Right." said Broktar. As soon as Broktar said that, he went back to the ship, and accessed the comm-link. Meanwhile, at the Undead Keep, Ghoultor, Quotor, and the Battle Knight had entered the main room of the Keep. The Master Of Zombies And Necro-Oracle were waiting in the room for them. "Master, it is good to see you." said the Battle Knight, "Even after all these years.". That was where an undead soldier had arrived in the room."Sir." said the Undead Soldier, "we have captured several outlying towns, that surround the Plains of the Kordoz.". "What about the search for the Tomb of the Knight Lord Joseph Barker?" asked The Master Of Zombies. "Well, Sir." said the Undead Soldier, "They still haven't found the tomb yet.". "What!!!" the Master Of Zombies Roars, "This is unbelievable. They still haven't found the tomb.". "On the Bright side." said the Soldier, "when we captured the towns, we had transformed a good deal of the population into zombies.".
"Is that so." said the Master Of Zombies. Just then, K'Dartok and Captain Ghoulax had entered the room. "About time the two of you have arrived." said Quotor. "Yeah, That was wise." said The Battle Knight, "sending in a couple of shambling corpses to do a warrior's job.". "we may be reanimated corpses." said Captain Ghoulax, "but we actually had managed to do some damage to the heroes.". "Bah!" Said the Battle Knight, "You have battled only two of an entire group of Heroes.". "An Entire Group?" Said Captain Ghoulax. "yes, apparently there was a clan of Orcs and a crew of Aliens in the area, when i tried to contact the Battle Knight." said Quotor. "How do you know of such things?" asked Captain Ghoulax. "yeah." Said K'Dartok, "Neither of us were at the site.". "You're not helping matters." said Captain Ghoulax. "Oh, Really Now." said K'Dartok, "And i suppose that tactic of charging at the human with the two guns was effective.". “Oh." said Captain Ghoulax, "And i suppose that letting yourself be seen was any better.". "In case you two didn't notice." said Quotor, "We're on the same side.". "Oh, Right." said Captain Ghoulax. "in case any of you haven't noticed." said Necro-Oracle, "The plans must proceed, if we are to cover this Realm in darkness.". Meanwhile, At the Kor'Drakk Cruiser, Broktar, Tirus, Rotusor, Officer Morgan, Alan, and the Orc Warrior had started on the Way to the Undead Keep.
Just then, Kalzortus had caught up with them. "Kalzortus." said Broktar, "i'm surprised that you are coming with us.". "Captain Zordash figured that i would make a great representative on this mission." said Kalzortus, "Even though he doesn't really trust humans.". "Why does Captain Zordash distrust humans?" Asked Alan. "I'm Not sure." said Kalzortus, "but he did mention something that happened several hundred years ago, between him and a human.". "Several hundred years." Alan Said Curiously. "Yes." said Kalzortus, "i guess you don't really know too much about our people.". "Indeed." said Broktar, "The Kor'Drakk can live for hundreds of years. Kalzortus here, is one thousand years old.". "One thousand years." said Tirus. "I'm surprised the Kor'Drakk live that long." said Officer Morgan.
"Guys." said Rotusor, "it looks like these hills are about to curve over to the other side.". "it's not far now." said the Orc. "just what does this Undead Keep Look Like?" asked Officer Morgan. "last time i was in the area." said the Orc, "the place had been falling apart.". "Falling apart?" said Rotusor. "but when i had seen some undead creatures around the place." said The Orc, "upgrading the place. They had also placed some pieces of weaponry outside the gates.". "pieces of weaponry." said Broktar, "it should be no problem.". As soon as Broktar said that, he shifted his weapon mount to long range cannon mode. "What kind of weaponry?" asked Kalzortus. "I have only seen the two guns placed outside the Undead Keep." said the Orc, “It looked like they're long range rifles. Both of the guns are operated by a team of two zombies each.". At that moment, Joseph had contacted Alan. "Alan." Said Joseph, "What is your status?".
"i'm headed towards the Undead Keep." said Alan, "Officer Morgan is here as well. So are some of our new allies.". "Is that so." said Joseph, "Who are they, if you don't mind me asking.". "First of all." said Alan, "We have Broktar the Cyborg Lizardman, Tirus the Ranger, Rotusor the Warrior, Kalzortus, and, Wait a minute, We didn't ask the Orc Warrior what his name is.". "Yeah, That's Right." said Officer Morgan. "My name is Optotorix." said Optortorix. "Is that so." said Kalzortus. “Yes." said Optotorix, "and the Undead Keep is straight ahead.". As soon as Optotorix said that, He aimed at the Keep. "Well, i'll be." said Officer Morgan. "Hmm." said Joseph, "Apparently, Optotorix wasn't kidding.". Joseph had checked the database for any records on the weaponry. "I say we take it on directly." said Broktar. "Hold it, Broktar." said Kalzortus. "What do you mean?" asked Broktar. "there might be a weakness in the weaponry we may be able to exploit." said Kalzortus. "You may be right." said Officer Morgan. Just then, one of the zombies had seen the heroes. "Oh great." said Tirus, "they spotted us.". At that moment, Optotorix had charged at the guns. "For the Glory of the clans." Optotorix exclaimed as he charged at the guns. "Hold position." said Kalzortus. All of a sudden, a mysterious force had taken out both of the teams of zombies. "What in the Realms was that?" said Rotusor. "I haven't the slightest." said Tirus, "but whoever, Or whatever, had caused this, it sure helped us.".
"yeah." said Broktar, "And to think, i had shifted my weapon mount to long range cannon mode. Now i don't need to use it, for the time being.". "Just what doesn't your cyber-arm come attached with?" said Officer Morgan. "The kitchen sink, for one thing." said Broktar. "I should have figured." said Officer Morgan. "you must have learned that expression while you were on Earth." said Alan. "You mean to tell us, that Broktar was on Earth." Said Officer Morgan. "Of Course." said Broktar, "it was in the late 19th century, that i have been on Earth. The Location was England.". That was where Tirus had noticed a message near the Remains of the Gun emplacements. "i wonder what's on the message." said Tirus. That was where Tirus went over and picked up the message. "Hey, Tirus." said Officer Morgan, "what's on the message you have there?". "Apparently, it's in a Elven Language." said Tirus. "Are you able to Translate it?" asked Kalzortus. "I'll see what i can do." said Tirus. As soon as Tirus said that, she started to translate the message. Meanwhile, In Xerdas, The "Fire Griffens" had just started on their way. Little did they realize that there was someone watching them from a distance. "Hmm, this looks like the gang is headed towards the Undead Keep." said the Person, "if my instincts prove correct, They're going to be in danger.".
As soon as the Person said that, he opened a Portal. Meanwhile, back at the Undead Keep, Tirus had just finished translating the message. "What does it say?" asked Broktar. "Apparently." said Tirus, "it says that, to stop the Master Of Zombies, one needs The Sword of the Knight Lord Joseph Barker.". "What else does it say?" asked Officer Morgan. "it says that the Master Of Zombies has already placed the parts in the Battleship." said Tirus, "Not only that, it seems that the person had left several pieces of equipment.". "any idea on the identity of our mystery ally." said Alan. "as a matter of Fact." said Tirus, "it says the person's name is Zektus Skystar.". "Zektus." said Kalzortus, "that sounds like a word we Kor'Drakk use.". "Oh, Really Now." said Broktar, "Could we get on with this mission.". Just then, Zektus Skystar had appeared, via a portal. "Greetings, Heroes." said Zektus. "Hold it right there." said Officer Morgan. "Wait." said Tirus, "allow him to explain himself.". "thank you." said Zektus, "as i was saying, i am the warrior known as Zektus Skystar.". "If you don't mind me asking." said Alan, "But Kalzortus had mentioned that your first name is a word in Kor'Drakk. What does it mean in english?". "Ah, an inquisitive person." said Zektus, "Zektus means Warrior in Kor'Drakk.". As soon as Zektus said that, he went over and picked up the pieces of equipment he left for the heroes.
"You may need these." said Zektus. That was where Zektus handed Officer Morgan several clips of ammo. "Good thing you arrived with these clips." said Officer Morgan, "i was about to run out of ammo.". "indeed." said Zektus, "I had a feeling that you will be needing them. After all, i had witnessed your fight with the zombies.”. After Zektus said that, he turned to face Alan. "Alan." said Zektus, "I know that you intend on completing the mission. But i must warn you, The Master Of Zombies knows that you are headed to his base.". "What do you mean?" Asked Alan. "I mean that the Master Of Zombies has laid traps in advance." Said Zektus, "Not only that, but the Battleship that the Undead Forces have constructed, is not here.". "What do you mean the Battleship isn't here." said Officer Morgan. "You mean to tell us that this search was in vain." Said Alan. "All is not lost." said Zektus, “I know where the Battleship is being held in.". At that moment, an Zombie had spotted the heroes outside the Keep. That was where the zombie signalled for reinforcements. "Oh, Great." said Officer Morgan, "We must get going.". "Understood." said Zektus, "But before we go, Alan, Here's your equipment.". As soon as Zektus said that, he handed Alan a shotgun, a chainsaw, and a piece of Metal Plate Armor.
"Interesting pieces of equipment." said Alan. "Now can we get on with the mission." said Broktar. "Hey, what about Rotusor, Broktar, and Me?" said Tirus. "Yeah, She's Right." said Optotorix, "What about us?". "I hadn't expected to be with more than two heroes." Said Zektus. "I couldn't really blame you." said Kalzortus, "I mean, That you must have learned of the legend of the heroes.". "If that is true." said Tirus, "Than you must know of the sword 'Omnolight', and its role in this battle.". "Indeed." Said Zektus, "but the legend said that there is a group of only 2 heroes.". "Could we just get on with the mission." said Broktar. "Broktar seems to have a point." said Kalzortus, "After all, We're here to stop the Master Of Zombies.".
"He's Right." said Optotorix, "let's get going, before we're swarmed by shambling corpses.". "Good idea." Said Alan. That was where the heroes had entered the Undead Keep. Meanwhile, in the Mountain Town Of Ormrus, The townspeople were preparing the defences. That was where a messenger had arrived at the main building. "Sir." said one of the warriors, "There's a messenger for you.". That was where the warrior had escorted the Messenger to the leader. The Leader of the town, is Mayor Reinhart Jackson. "So, This is the messenger you mentioned." said Reinhart, "What is it that you have to say?". "First of all." said the messenger, "King Anderson requests that you would help him and his forces in the battle against the Armies of the Undead.". "Is that so." said Reinhart, "Then prepare a reply, saying that i will provide assistance.".
Just then, a Drwarven Warrior had entered the area. "Sir." The warrior said in a gruff voice, "the defensive perimeter is set up.". "Excellent work." said Reinhart, "is the Tomb of The Knight Lord Joseph Barker secured?". "Aye, Sir." said The Warrior. Little did the warriors know that there was a undead Scout spying on them. Meanwhile, Back at the Undead Keep, The heroes have already passed by several corridors. All the while, Necro-Oracle was watching the situation. Necro-Oracle was in the Observation room. That was where Quotor had entered the Room. "Necro-Oracle." said Quotor, "I just wanted to...". That was where Quotor had seen Necro-Oracle without his hood over his head. "By the Gods." said Quotor, "It cannot be possible.". "Then you know who i truly am." said Necro-Oracle, "That i am, in fact, an Dark Elf named Arkos Darkblade.". "That couldn't be possible." said Quotor, "Arkos was killed 7000 years ago.". "indeed i was." said Necro-Oracle, "However, i was resurrected by Dark Powers, that even i don't understand completely.". "Is that so." said Quotor. "Look, Quotor." Said Necro-Oracle, "Let's settle this when we're out of the way.". "What For?" Asked Quotor, "For What Reason?". "I have a plan." said Necro-Oracle, "I have set up a explosive for levelling this base. Not Only that, i had managed to hire a giant Cyclops to help in the plan to stop the Heroes.".
"This should be interesting." said Quotor. "Yes, indeed." said Necro-Oracle, As he was putting his hood over his head."Now, then." said Necro-Oracle, "Let's Get going.". Meanwhile, in another part of the Undead Keep, The heroes had managed to come across a room with three doors. "Which Way now?" said Officer Morgan. "I haven't the slightest." said Tirus, "What do you say, Broktar?". "I find it odd that you would ask me." Said Broktar, "Even though Zektus might be better at this than i.". "I'm surprised you would say that." said Zektus. "What do you mean?" asked Rotusor. "I mean that you would be the ones to trust me completely." said Zektus, "Even though you guys don't really know much about me.". “Indeed." said Kalzortus. "Let's just choose a path and keep going." said Officer Morgan. "Alright then." said Optotorix, "let's choose the middle path.". As soon as Optotorix said that, the heroes entered through the middle door. Little did the heroes realize that the doorway leading to the right, leads to a secret passageway leading outside of the Keep. Meanwhile, in the main room of the keep, the Giant Cyclops was waiting for the heroes to arrive in the area. "I wonder when they will arrive." said the Cyclops. That was where Quotor had contacted the Cyclops. "General Quotor." said the Cyclops, "i didn't expect you to call.".
"yes, indeed." said Quotor, "There is one thing i want you to do.". "What would that be?" Asked the Cyclops. "I want you to set the explosives to explode in 60 minutes." said Quotor, "Also, make sure the heroes don't make out of the keep.". "Anything else?" Asked the Cyclops. "That is all." Said Quotor. That was where the Cyclops had heard some footsteps in the distance. "Hmm." said the Cyclops, "The heroes must be nearby.". That was where the heroes had arrived in the room. "What on Earth?!" Said Alan, As soon as he seen the Cyclops. “Ah, Humans." said the Cyclops, “What's this, Non-human creatures?". "There seems to be a Rat-Man, An Orc, Two Half-Elves, A Lizardman, and a Alien there." said Quotor, "Along With the humans.".
"I shall make sure they don't make it out." said the Cyclops. As soon as the Cyclops said that, he had set the explosives for 60 minutes. "Oh, Great." Said Broktar, "There's a bomb.". "I thought you would have experience in that." said Tirus. "You think you're wise, with your comments." Said Broktar, "You just wait and see.". "Guys." said Kalzortus, "It looks like we only have less than an hour to deal with both the bomb and the Cyclops.". "Kalzortus is right." said Optotorix, "I say i will do the bomb defusing. You guys try to hold off the Cyclops.". "That sounds risky." said Officer Morgan. "I say we let him have a chance." said Rotusor, "I'll help Optotorix.". That was where Rotusor and Optotorix went to defuse the bomb.
All the While, The Cyclops was chasing after Alan, Broktar, Tirus, Kalzortus, Officer Morgan, and Zektus. At that moment, Joseph had contacted Alan. "Alan, What's your status?" Asked Joseph. "I'm inside the Undead Keep." said Alan, "The allies are here as well. There is one setback.". "One setback?" said Joseph. "Two, in fact." said Alan, "One, a bomb that is apparently set for 60 minutes, and Two, a Giant Cyclops.". "Is that so." said Joseph. "I just thought of something." said Kalzortus. "What's That?" asked Alan."What if we were able to convince the Cyclops to help us?" said Kalzortus. "That might be crazy enough to work." said Rotusor, "Although i doubt if it will work.". "Then i shall be the person to attempt that plan." Said Zektus. That was where Zektus had started to talk to the Cyclops. "Comrade." said Zektus, "Why is it that you serve the Forces of Darkness?". "I was hired to do so." said The Cyclops, "And i shall not fail in my mission.". "Even if it means that you will go down with this Keep." said Zektus. "What do you mean?" asked the Cyclops. "I mean that you will go down." said Zektus, "when the bomb explodes.". "Yes." said Kalzortus, "In other words, you'll be sacrificing yourself to help the enemy.".
"If what you say is true." said the Cyclops, "Then i shall help you.". That was where the Cyclops had gone over to the bomb and attempted to deactivate the bomb. At that moment, the bomb started up again. "Foolish Heroes." said a voice from the comm-link next to the bomb, "You think you can stop us.". "By the Gods." said Zektus, "It can't possibly be whom i think it is.". "What do you mean, Zektus?" Asked Broktar. "It is none other than Necro-Oracle." said Zektus. "Indeed, It is i, Necro-Oracle." said Necro-Oracle. "Who's Necro-Oracle?" Asked Alan. “Necro-Oracle is a Dark Oracle." said Zektus, "He has lived for centuries. It is rumoured that he feeds on the lifeforce of others.". "Also." said Rotusor, "It is rumoured that no-one has ever seen him without his hood.". "Indeed." said Necro-Oracle, "As for you, Comrade, you are no longer needed.". As soon as Necro-Oracle said that, he activated a remote, which controlled the bomb. The countdown timer went from 35 minutes to 15 minutes. "Oh Great." said Officer Morgan, "What are we going to do now?". "I have a idea." said the Cyclops. "What's that?" asked Officer Morgan. "There's a passage that exists under this Keep." said the Cyclops, "I'm not sure where it leads to, but it may be our way out of here.". "It sounds like a good idea." said Zektus, "let's get going.".
As soon as Zektus said that, the heroes went out of the main room, and headed towards the room with the three passageways. "Which Way Now?" Asked Officer Morgan. "It's this way." said the Cyclops, as he pointed to the door on the right.". "Excellent." said Kalzortus, "Let's go.". "Right." said Broktar, "Alan and i should take up the front.". As soon as Broktar said that, he shifted his cybernetic optic sensor to infra-red sight. "This should be good." said Alan. As he was talking, Alan had put a couple of shells in the shotgun. All the while, Necro-Oracle had warped in some troops to stop the heroes. "Captain Abomtus." said Necro-Oracle, "See to it that the heroes don't make it out of here.". "Yes, Master." said Captain Abomtus. That was where Captain Abomtus had moved into towards the location of the heroes. Meanwhile, At Castle Diroctor, An Orc Warrior had arrived at the Castle. There was a Barbarian Warrior at the Castle. "Greetings, Comrade." said the Barbarian Warrior. "You must be here to form an alliance with the Humans." said The Orc Warrior. "Indeed i am." said the Barbarian Warrior, "You must be here for the same reason as well.". "Of Course." said the Orc Warrior.
At that moment, King Anderson had Arrived in the Courtyard. "Ah, Greetings Comrades." said King Anderson, “How have you been?". "We've been Great." Said the Barbarian Warrior, "Wouldn't you agree with that?". "Indeed." said the Orc Warrior. Just then, Ortonk had appeared. "Sire, i was thinking." said Ortonk, "There might be a possible plan.". "What would that be, Ortonk?" asked King Anderson. "The Citizens of Chior might be able to help." said Ortonk. "Anyways." said the Orc Warrior, "Both the Barbarian and I are here on behalf of our respective peoples to usher in an alliance.". "Aye." said the Barbarian Warrior, "Even though i suspect Telzor and his clan would be reluctant in joining.". "I would Think so." said King Anderson.
"Yeah." said the Barbarian Warrior, "Telzor's brother was killed by a Knight.". "How did you know about it?" asked the Orc Warrior. "I heard it from Tlowtox Ironhammer." said the Barbarian Warrior, "He said he heard it from a friend of his.". At that moment, Princess Anderson had arrived in the Courtyard. "Jesse." said Princess Anderson, "Is that you.". "Heather." said Jesse, "I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you were with your Uncle and Cousin.". "I was." said Princess Anderson. "Why are you here?" Asked Jesse. "Yeah." said the Orc Warrior, "He's Right.". "Uncle Arthur wanted to make sure i was safe." said Princess Anderson. Meanwhile, in the Tunnels under the Undead Keep, The Heroes had ventured into the lower levels. That was where Kalzortus had attempted to contact the crew of the Cruiser "Dragon Fire". "Comrades." said Kalortus, "This is Kalzortus reporting in. I just...". That was where Kalzortus noticed the comm-link had shorted out. "Bah!" said Kalzortus, "This Thing must be low on energy.". "Either that." said Broktar, "Or these Tunnels have an Communications Interference Device in them.". That was where Broktar turned to face Alan.
"Hey, Alan." Said Broktar, "see if your Communications device works.". That was where Alan had attempted to contact Joseph. "What The..." Said Alan, as soon as he seen the Comm-Link short out. "What Heppened?" asked Rotusor. "Apparently my Comm-Link is inoperative." said Alan, "For the Time Being.". "Well, That's just Great." said Officer Morgan, "what are we going to do now?". "Not to worry, Comrades." said Zektus, "I have a plan.". "What would that be?" asked Broktar. "You guys forget about my abilities." said Zektus, "Including Telepathy.". "Oh, Really now." said Broktar.. While the Heroes were in the Tunnels, The "Fire Griffens" gang had arrived at the Undead Keep, only to find it was about to blow up. That was where one of the Bikers had started to approach the Keep.
"Hold it, comrade." said Greg, "I have a feeling that something is about to happen.". At that moment, the Keep blew up. "All Bikers, head for cover." Said Greg. Fortunately, all 20 of the bikers had hidden behind the rocks. "Is everyone alright?" asked Greg. “All present and accounted for." said Caleb, "All are in one piece.". "then let's get going." said Greg. “Shouldn't we at least call Aizortun." David said. "Of Course." said Greg. As soon as he said that, he called Aizortun. Meanwhile, in the Tunnels under the Undead Keep, the Heroes had progressed through the tunnels. "So, Zektus." said Rotusor, "You haven't told us much about yourself.". "Indeed." said Broktar. "Then i shall tell you about my history." said Zektus.
As soon as Zektus said that, he had seen something in the distance. "What in the Realms was that?" said Rotusor. "Scans show a humanoid creature." said Broktar, "The closest i could figure, it is a Troll.". "Wait a minute." said the Cyclops, "The only Trolls in the Undead Forces i know of, are Fortox the Undead Troll, and Zoutoxas the Dark Troll.". "Fortox." said Rotusor, "that name sounds familiar.". "That's because Fortox was, at one time, a friend of Gretack the Ogre." said Tirus. At that moment, the creature showed itself. "By the Gods!" said Optotorix. "Mua-ha-ha." said the Creature, "so you have figured out who i am.". "indeed." said Tirus, "You are, in fact, Fortox.". "indeed." said Fortox, "But your quest ends here.". As soon as Fortox said that, he went right for Alan, With both Handaxes. "Alan, Duck out of the way!" said Tirus. Alan had managed to duck out of the way, also managing to fire off a couple of shots. one shot had hit Fortox in the Shoulder. "Arg!!" Fortox exclaimed in pain, as he clinched his left arm. "You shall pay for this, Human." said Fortox, As he charged at Alan. Fortox had taken a swipe at Alan with one of his axes.
"Alan, Watch out!!" said Tirus. That was where Alan had managed to move the metal plates of the armor in the path of the axe. That resulted in one of the axes being broken. "You shall pay for this, human." Said Fortox. "I wouldn't be so sure." said the Cyclops. At that moment, Fortox was surrounded by the Heroes. "You heroes shall not defeat me." said Fortox. "Care to try." said Officer Morgan. "You shall not stop the Master Of Zombies." said Fortox. "How could you fall so far from the light?" said Tirus, "You were once a noble warrior, Fighting along side your old friend, Gretack the Ogre.". "Bah!" said Fortox, “Do you really think i would willingly betray my friend.". "You mean to tell us, you're not a traitor." said Alan. "I say we deal with him immediately." said Broktar. "I wouldn't be so certain." said Zektus, "i have a plan.". "What would that be?" asked Alan. "We have a leader of the Undead Forces here." said Rotusor. "Exactly my point." said Zektus. "Where are you going with this?" asked Broktar. "We will try to interrogate Fortox to get the whereabouts of the Master Of Zombies." said Zektus. "Yeah, That's an excellent idea." said Alan, "with that data, we could find the two parts that had been stolen from the Military base From Earth.".
"I would have to agree with Alan." said Officer Morgan, "This could be advantageous.". All the while, above the Tunnels, and outside the remains of the Undead Keep, The "Fire Griffens" had gotten their new instructions. "Alright, boys." said Greg, "Let's Get going.". "Hey Greg, Where are we headed to now?" asked David. "Aizortun says the Location lies up to the North." said Greg, "It's a place called the Fort of the Dead.". "Then why did you have that confused look on your face?" asked David. "That's because Aizortun had first said the name of the location in another language." said Greg, "The Language he used, was a dialect of Troll.". “What was the place called in Troll?" asked Caleb. "That would be 'Nertos Dox Fareous'." said Greg. "Anyways." said David, "Let's get going.". As soon as David said that, the gang started on their way to the Fort of the Dead. Meanwhile, in the Tunnels, the heroes had managed to get the information they needed. At that moment, Captain Abomtos and the Troops had arrived. "Oh Great!" Said Officer Morgan. "Finally." said Fortox, "The odds are now stacked against you.". "I wouldn't be so sure." said Broktar.
As soon as Broktar said that, he grabbed ahold of Fortox. "Troops, Hold your fire." said Captain Abomtos. All of a sudden, Fortox had hit Broktar right in the mid-section. That resulted in Broktar loosening his grip, long enough for Fortox to escape. "We shall meet each other soon." said Fortox, as he was running towards the exit. "You won't be going too far." said Zektus, as he tossed a homing device on Fortox. At that moment, the Undead Troops in the Tunnel attacked the Heroes. "Heroes, Defensive Position." Said Tirus. At that moment, the Cyclops had hit the Wall. "What was that for?" asked Officer Morgan. "Just clear out of here." said the Cyclops, "i'll hold them off.". "If you insist." said Broktar. "We shall go." said Kalzortus. That was where all of the heroes, except for the Cyclops had started on their way out of the tunnels. "Your efforts shall not be in vain." said Kalzortus. "C'mon, Let's get going." said Broktar. "i shall stay here with the Cyclops." said Optotorix. "You go along with the others." said the Cyclops, "i shall catch up with you later.". "Alright then." said Rotusor. That was where the heroes went after Fortox. "How far is it now?" asked Alan.
"I haven't the slightest." said Officer Morgan, "But we'll find out soon enough.". All the while, Fortox was activating the mechanism for the exit. "I shall be out of here, finally." Fortox said to himself, "and i don't have to deal with these so called 'Heroes'.". Meanwhile, outside of the tunnels, The "Fire Griffens" had reached the outskirts of the towns surrounding the Plains of the Kordoz. "How far is it to the Fort of the Dead?" asked David. "Aizortun says it's only 3 days ride from here." said Greg, "Whatever that means.". That was where a Ogre had appeared. "Oh great!" said Duane. "Let me handle him." said Caleb. That was where Caleb stepped forward to deal with the Ogre. "we come in peace." said Celeb, "We are here on a mission to stop the Master Of Zombies.". "Tell him about the Location we are headed to, Caleb." said David. "Right." said Caleb, "we are headed to a place called the Fort of the Dead.". "is that so?" said The Ogre, "i know of someone who can help.". "Who is this person of which you speak of?" Asked Caleb. "you'll find out soon enough." said the Ogre. Meanwhile, under the tunnels, all of the heroes, except for the Cyclops, had made it in time to see Fortox enter the Mechanism to leave the tunnels. That was where Fortox turned to face the Heroes. "If you plan on getting those parts." said Fortox, "You're Too late.".
"Not if we can help it." said Officer Morgan. As soon as Officer Morgan said that, he charged at Fortox. At that moment, Fortox's comrades had arrived. "Commander Fortox." said the Captain of the Transport, "get a move on, sir.". That was where Fortox headed to the transport. "Until next time, heroes." said Fortox, as he boarded the Transport. "Officer Morgan, Hold position." said Kalzortus. But Officer Morgan didn't listen. He grabbed ahold of Fortox, just when Fortox stepped into the Transport. "By the Gods!" Said Kalzortus, "This cannot be!". At that moment, The Transport started to head to the Fort Of The Dead. "Oh, Great." said Rotusor, "They're getting away.". "Not if i can help it." said Broktar. As Soon as he said that, he targeted the Transport.
"Hold your fire." said Tirus, "Officer Morgan's in the ship.". "Oh, Right." said Broktar. At that moment, Optotorix had arrived. "Optortorix." said Broktar, "What Happened?". "I have some bad news." said Optotorix, "The Cyclops had Died.". "By the Gods!" said Kalzortus, "This is a dark day, indeed.". "What shall we do now?" asked Broktar. "I have a idea." said Rotusor. "What would that be, Rotusor?" asked Tirus. "I know of someone who can help us." said Rotusor, "He is Tlowtox Ironhammer, a Goblin.". "where does he reside?" Asked Tirus. "He resides in a area to the east of here." said Rotusor. "Let's get a move on." said Optotorix. "I just hope Officer Morgan is alright." said Tirus. "Of Course he'll be alright." said Alan, "i knew him for years.". "If you say so." said Tirus. That was where the heroes went to Tlowtox Ironhammer's base. All the while, on the Transport, Officer Morgan had been surrounded by several Ghouls. "Alright, you rotting pieces of flesh." said Officer Morgan, "You and your masters shall not conquer this realm.". All of a sudden, Officer Morgan was hit in the back of the head by a zombie. "That ought to keep him quiet." said the Zombie. Meanwhile, the Heroes made it to Tlowtox Ironhammer's Base. At that moment, Aizortun and Scaltokas had appeared. That was where the Heroes were taken off guard by their appearance. "Aizortun!" said Tirus, "I might have figured you would be around.". "However did you know, young Tirus." said Aizortun.
"I could sense your dark energy." said Tirus. "You must know of my history, and my role as it involves the Territory Wars." said Aizortun. "Yeah, i've heard the news." said Tirus, "You betrayed the Humans to the Orcs.". "Hey, do you mind." said Optotorix. "Right, Optortorix." said Tirus, "i have also heard the news that you had helped the 'Shock Rangers' clan get some new weapons.". "indeed, i have done so." said Aizortun, "And now your quest ends here.". "yeah, like he said." said Scaltokas. As soon as Scaltokas said that, he raised his battle-axe. At that moment, Tlowtox Ironhammer had appeared. "Tlowtox." said Aizortun, as he turned to face Tlowtox, "i didn't expect to see you here.".
"Nor i." said Tlowtox, "Now begone from here.". "Not likely." said Aizortun. All of a sudden, Aizortun had tossed an energy ball at Tlowtox. Fortunately, Tlowtox had managed to dodge the attack. "Now It's time to teach you a lesson." said Tlowtox. As soon as Tlowtox said that, he pressed a button on his wrist-mounted computer system. "What's happening now?" asked Alan. "Tlowtox is armoring up." said Rotusor. "Armoring up?" Alan said, curiously. "Indeed." said Rotusor. That was where Tlowtox had completed the Armoring up sequence. In his armored mode, Tlowtox stood over 8 feet in height. There are weapons systems over most of the robotic Armor.
"I shall not ask you this." said Tlowtox, "You two must leave here, and never return.". "Make us." said Scaltokas. "Stubborn Minotaur." said Aizortun. That was where Scaltokas charged at Tlowtox. All of a sudden, Tlowtox lifted Scaltokas off of the ground. Tlowtox then tossed Scaltokas out of the area. "By the Gods!" Exclaimed Aizortun, "You shall not beat Me.". As soon as Aizortun said that, he launched another energy ball. The energy ball hit Tlowtox directly in the armor. Tlowtox retaliated by using his grappling hook mechanism. Tlowtox had tossed Aizortun to the ground. "What do we do?" asked Alan.
"I suggest we try to find a mode of transportation." said Rotusor. "If you are looking for a mode of Transportation." said Tlowtox, "there's one on the launch pad.". "That does it!" said Aizortun, "i shall use my ultimate attack.". As soon as Aizortun said that, he raised his staff in preparation for his ultimate attack. The ultimate attack is "Omega Storm". "Now you shall fall." said Aizortun. "Boom!", a shot rang out, and Aizortun's staff was broken in two. Everyone looked over directly at Alan. Alan was holding the Double-Barrelled Shotgun, which was smoking.
That was where Alan Cleared the Smoke from the Barrels. "You know." said Alan, "You should listen to the Goblin.". "You Foolish weakling!" said Aizortun, as he planted his staff in the ground, "Don't you know how long it took to create this very staff with the best type of wood and a special type of crystal, which was available.". "Your Point?" said Alan. "You shall pay for this!" said Aizortun. "I don't think so." said Tlowtox. As soon as Tlowtox said that, he went for Aizortun. "You think that i could be beaten so easily." said Aizortun, "We shall meet again.". As soon as Aizortun said that, he summoned a Griffen. The Griffen swooped down to pick up Scaltokas. "This isn't the last time you'll see me." said Aizortun, As he was riding off. "Shouldn't we chase after him?" said Alan. "Not to worry, human." said Broktar, "i have a feeling he'll be facing a larger threat.". Meanwhile, in another dimension, The Gate Master was watching the events. "Most impressive." said the Gate Master. That was where the Gate Master noticed some of the events on another one of the View screens. "i have a bad feeling about this." said the Gate Master.
The situation that the Gate Master is referring to, was the "Fire Griffens" had made it within the Borders of the Undead Territory. "I have better tell the heroes about this." said The Gate Master. That was where the Gate Master went over to the communications console. Meanwhile, at Tlowtox's base, the heroes had met Tlowtox. At that moment, a call came over the communications console. "i'll be right back." said Tlowtox. That was where Tlowtox went over to the Communications Console. "I'm Surprised that you did that." said Broktar. "Yeah." said Optotorix, "i thought that Broktar would be the one to try something like that.". "Do you Mind?" said Broktar.
"The most unusual things happen in this dimension." said Kalzortus. At that moment, Joseph had contacted Alan. "Alan." said Joseph, "where on Earth have you been? the Troops were getting concerned. even the President had contacted this base.". "The President?" Asked Alan, "Well, the allies and i were in the tunnels under the Keep.". "Yeah, There was some sort of device that blocked communications." said Broktar. "Yeah." said Optotorix, "Not only that. we had a new ally join our side for a while, until his death.". "you mean that the Cyclops helped you." said Joseph. "yes, indeed." said Optotorix, "he sacrificed himself to help us.". "yes." said Kalzortus, "he died honourably.". That was where Tlowtox had come back from being inside the base. "guys." said Tlowtox, "There's someone you should meet.". "Alright." said Alan, “We're coming.". That was where the heroes had entered Tlowtox's base. "Alright, who is it you are referring to?" asked Broktar. "It is none other than the Gate Master." said Tlowtox. "Gate Master?" said Broktar, "i didn't expect to see you.". "Indeed." said The Gate Master, "So, you must be Alan Stukov.". “Indeed i am." said Alan. "So." said Kalzortus, "You are the Gate Master.".

2011
Season 1 (Oct 2011- mar 2012)
Pilot - Oct 25-26th 2011
The thing you love most- Oct 27 2011
Snow falls - Oct 28-29-30
The price of gold - Oct 31-nov 1
That still small voice- nov 3-10
The shepherd - nov 17-18
The heart is a lonely hunter-nov 19-20
Desperate souls- dec 5-6-7
True north- dec 8
7:15 a.m - Dec 9-10
Fruit of the poisonous tree-dec -13
2012
Skin deep-Feb14(Valentines Day)-feb15
What happened to Frederick- feb 16-17
Dreamy- feb 19
Red handed- feb 20-21-22
Heart of darkness- Feb 23
Hat trick- Feb 24-25
Stable boy- Feb 26
The return- Feb 27-28
The stranger- Feb 29
An Apple red as blood- Feb 29-mar 1
A land without magic- mar 1-2
Season 2 (mar 2012- June 2012)
Broken- mar 2
We are both- mar 3
Lady of the lake- mar 5-6
The crocodile - mar 6
The doctor - mar 7
Tallahassee- mar 7
Child of the moon- mar 8-9
Into the deep- mar 10
Queen of hearts- mar 11
The cricket game- mar 11-12-13-14
The outsider- mar 14-15
In the name of the brother- mar 15-16
Tiny- mar 16
Manhattan- mar 17
The queen is dead- mar 18 (mm's bd)
The miller's daughter- mar 18
Welcome to Storybrooke- mar 21
Selfless, brave and true- mar 29
Lacey- June 8-9
The evil queen- June 9
Second star to the right- June 10
And straight till morning- June 10
Season 3 (June 2012- November 2013)
Season three: part 1 (June 2012)note 1*
Thottb (long name) -June 10 (d 1 in NL)
Lost girl- June 10 (day 1 in Neverland)
QaCF -June 11 (day 2 in Neverland)
Nasty habits- June 11 (day 3 in NL)
Good form- June 11 (day 3 in NL)
Ariel- June 13 (day 6 in NL) Dark hollow- June 15 (day 11 in NL)
TLT- June 16 (day 12 in NL)
Save Henry- June 16 (day 12 in NL)
The new Neverland- June 16-17
Going home- June 17-18- oct 29 2013 note 2*
2013
Season 3: part 2 (Oct-November 2013)
New York City serenade- oct 29-30-31
Witch hunt- Nov 1
The tower- Nov 2
Quiet minds- Nov 7
It's not easy being green- Nov 8
The Jolly Roger- Nov 10
Bleeding through- Nov 11
A curious thing- Nov 12
Kansas- Nov 12
Snow drifts- Nov 13- apr 13 1980 note 3*
T.N.P.L.H.- apr 14-15 1980-Nov 13 2013
Season 4 (November 2013-??
S. 4 pt.1 (November 2013-Jan 2014)
A tale of 2 sis.- Nov 13-14
White out- Nov 15-16
Rocky road- Nov 17
The apprentice- Nov 18-19
Breaking glass- Nov 20
Family business- Nov 21
The snow Queen- Nov 23
Smash the mirror- p.1- Nov 24
Smash the mirror- p.2 Nov 24
Fall- Nov 25
Shattered sight- Nov 25-26
Heroes and villains- Nov 26-Jan 7 (Six weeks later)
2014 S. 4 pt.2 (January-
Darkness on the edge of town-
Jan 13 note 4*
Unforgiven- Jan 15
Enter the dragon- Jan 17-18
Poor unfortunate soul- Jan 20
Best laid plan- Jan 21
Heart of gold- Jan 21-9-11(note 5)
This is all I’ve made so far.
Notes:
1.for S3A, you'll notice that it all happens in a short amount of time, this is because in Neverland, time goes differently, so while you are there, time passes 1 time faster, but you don't age. For example, if I go Neverland, and I stay there for a week, when I come back it's only passed 3 days and 12 hours. For you to understand better, next to the date, I'll put "Day (number) in Nl"
2.this is more than an year, but in s3 e13, there's snow, and in Maine, there's usually snow from Oct 31 to march 28. In "the tower" David mentions that Emma was almost 30, while according to this she is already 30, I think he was confused about all the year lost, and he thought that it was exactly one year, and they were in June 2013.
3.You'll see whenever I make an enchanted forest timeline

1. Mother superior's missing form contradicts the "fall" date, but after all, these is just a headcanon.
   
2. We jump back into the 9th janaury, as we see what happend some weeks earlier with robin, Marian, Roland, and rumple.
   

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Strange_Tadpole_3749 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 5th March 2024
Update - 6th March 2024
Update 2 - 4th April 2024
​
1 New Update
Update 3 - 31st May 2024
​
AITAH for not coming to terms with the fact that my wife cheated on me 14 years ago before our marriage?
I(35M) am married to my wife(37F) for 11 years and together for 14. We have a beautiful 7 years old daughter and our marriage has been great without any major problems until last year. Last year, I learnt that my wife cheated on me before our marriage. One of her friends became religious and confessed her actions to me which had me confront my wife.
She was shocked that I learnt it and apologized profusely about her actions. However, she said it's not something important now because we have been going strong and have a family together. She told me I should come to terms with it since it happened 4 months into being exclusive and she was a stupid girl out of college back then. My mind told me the same. It happened 14 years ago and we are happy right now. I decided to forgive her and continue our usual life.
Reality was not that great. My mental took a big hit. I realized it's not something that happened 14 years ago for me. The cheating happened for me when my wife confirmed it. I was less confident, could not have sex with my wife. I just could not get an erection for her. This turned into feeling disgusted being around her.
I even took a DNA and STD test secretly. Thankfully, our daughter is mine and I am clear of STD. Then a year of intense individual therapy started for me. I realized I needed to change somehow. I was not the same person I used to be. I also communicated my feelings to my wife and after pushing a bit, we started going couples counseling too. However, at the end of everything I decided to proceed with divorce. Here are my reasonings:
She not only cheated back then but lied to me for 14 years. She did not confess the action herself. Even though she apologized, she dismissed the fact by saying it's not important anymore
Young me was robbed of having a choice. Cheating was(and still is) one of the biggest deal breakers for me. If I knew it back then, I would have broke it off. I am happy with my life and I am glad that our daughter came to world. She is the light that shines the brightest for me. One of the biggest reasons I keep living but I still was robbed of a choice back then.
IC and MC could not our problems and my feelings towards her. It also started affecting family life which could affect our daughter. I think our daughter would be better off having us as co-parents instead of living in a broken family environment where consistent arguments are present.
Sex life is basically dead for me. We do have sex but I feel like those women on film/series that just lay and look at the ceiling waiting it to be over. The only difference is that I am a man. I do not even want non-sexual gestures anymore.
Last week, I had a sit down with my wife and explained everything I wrote here in detail, my feelings, reasonings and some other private things. I have been talking to a lawyer for the last month and papers are almost finalized. 50/50 custody, 50/50 assets sharing and as amicable as possible. I explained everything thoroughly and clearly to her.
She freaked out and had a panic attack. We spent the night at ER. She is begging me to reconsider and not throw away 14 years. However, even though I would like to stay it will results in us being roommates and a broken family environment for our daughter.
Am I in the wrong here?
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Comments
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kgbjay
This isn't about being an asshole or not. You're not able to deal with something and it has changed your view of someone.
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CatmoCatmo
That’s the thing. OP has tried everything they can to make it work. He didn’t throw his hands up and walk out. He tried. He really tried. But you can’t make yourself have emotions you don’t have, nor can you let go of one’s you’re currently feeling. There’s no right or wrong here.
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awyllt
This isn't an asshole or not question. You aren't able to love her the way you did before, you no longer trust her, your relationship is dysfunctional, therapy didn't help. Calling you (or her - after all, she's the cheater) an asshole will solve absolutely nothing. All you can do now is to make the separation as smooth as possible for your daughter.
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JBaecker
Someone else wrote this in a thread months ago and I still remember it. “The affair happened 14 years ago for you. It just happened for me!!” Like she’s had 14 years to process and lie about it and then to just…let it go. For OP, this just happened. He’s still dealing with all of it. And not just the affair, but the 14 years of lying by omission too. It’s brand new to him.
Also OP, NTA.

OOP: It happened on a girls' trip they went together. It was confirmed by my wife. Her friend told me she could not hold the secret of a sin anymore and decided to confess.About 4 months into being exclusive/couple(girlfriend and boyfriend). So, it's not before being boyfriend/girlfriend.Paper is basically an agreement with blank sections including custody, asset sharing and other marital things. I proposed my side to her and she is free to consult with a lawyer to propose her side. Both sides meet and come to an agreement. Then this agreement is proposed to a family court(in case of amicable divorce) to get appointment for the court case. I let her know beforehand that I am considering divorce and getting the draft agreement ready so she should also consult with a lawyer.

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SquareSpare8723
How's your wife dealing with all of this? Has the anger presented itself yet or is she still in denial?

OOP: She has barely eaten since the ER visit and still in denial.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 days later
​
Firstly, I want to thank everyone for their ideas and input about my situation. Some people reached out to me on Reddit chat to state their opinions and we had long talks. They have been incredibly helpful and I want to thank them especially.
Some people asked if we went to counseling together. Yes, we have been visiting a counselor for over a year now on top of my individual therapy. I understand blowing up a marriage for something happened 14 years ago is not logical. However, my feelings towards my wife got even worse after counseling and therapy.
It started with not being able to trust her, converted to not wanting sex, then not wanting non-sexual gestures and finally I am not even comfortable to be in the same space as her. We have been less than roommates in the last couple of months. I do not hate or resent her but I just cannot shake off the feelings.
I would say I forgave her but it's not about forgiving anymore when there are no feelings and love. I do not want my daughter to grow up in such an environment. I know how hurtful it can be. I experienced a similar situation with my parents only the genders reversed. Living in such an environment breaks you as a child and teen. I would have much preferred if my mother just divorced my dad instead of staying for my sake.
These being said, I had a long talk with my wife this morning. She has not been eating much since visiting ER and I am concerned for her wellbeing and safety. Some Redditors who reached out suggested considering separation before proceeding with the divorce and see if my feelings would change. That is very logical actually.
I proposed this idea to my wife and she was happy to hear it. I have an upcoming business trip to Netherlands next week and I am planning to extend my stay and stay with my sister once I am back. Wife abruptly suggested one sided open marriage and I can do what I want on that business trip if it'll save the relationship, make us even and change my feelings.
I rejected because it has nothing to do with that. Even if it changed something for me, it would devastate her knowing I cheated on her in the future. It's not something easy to get over and not an easy decision.
That is all the update. We'll try separation for a while and depending on the result I'll make my decision. Thank you for all the help and opinions.
​
Comments
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orizons190
It’s telling how quickly, just because you stood up for yourself, she went from “telling” and what feels like dictating to sudden panic attacks and “begging” instead. Would it have been different if she had gone straight to begging and contrition earlier? Hmm
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unijackthedaw
Avoid falling for her self-abuse charade, which is intended to make you feel sorry for her. It's an attempt at manipulation.
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horizons190

I understand blowing up a marriage for something happened 14 years ago is not logical

It is absolutely logical. As you said it yourself, it didn’t happen 14 years ago, the lies continued up to present day.
​
**Update 2- 1 month later*\*
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I have a short update about the situation. I got back from the trip and decided to divorce my wife in the end. The last straw was when my daughter told me I look more lively and happier after I came back. I realized I am better off without my wife and just co-parenting our daughter with her. I still feel incredibly uncomfortable around my wife.
My wife did not take the news well and is going down the spiral. I called MIL and FIL to have them take care of her. She caused some problems. She sent threatening messages to her friend who told me about the cheating. I had to beg her to not sue my wife as I want my daughter to have a mother present in her life. Though, she'll be probably taken to mental ward. She is not well. Last time I saw her, I felt scared looking at her eyes.
Our daughter is with me now and we've started the divorce process. My lawyer told me if my wife to be taken to mental ward, there is a good chance that I can get better than 50/50 custody. One should be happy hearing that but I am just devastated how it'll affect our daughter.
Many Redditors told in the comments that dating life after 30s as a man is not good and I'll be probably forever alone as no-one will want me. First thing is: I do not care. Our daughter is my first priority and dating is the last thing I have in mind right now. Second thing is: I am confident in myself in every regard to finding friends and a partner.
I think this sums up my update. I will be back maybe in a year considering how long divorce process takes when it's not amicable. Thank you.
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Comments
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Tricky-Stock-7248
I'm going to say it, a man in his 30's that takes care of his look and looks healthy sometimes is way more attractive than any boy in his 20's that's just beginning to understand how life works
I hope it works for you, I've come from a family when my mom cheated my dad WITH HIS BROTHER and then he cheated back with her cousin, believe me, no child deserves to be raised in a family like that, your daughter is better with only one parent that's calm than with two beligerant parents that decided to stay together "for the sake of kids"
Your life won't end by now, I would leave my husband too if I'd find out he cheated on me when we were just beginning as a couple, cheating has no expire date
I hope you get better and find happiness
​
Update 3 - 2 months later
​
It's been almost 2 months since my last update. People have been asking about an update and here is one.
My soon-to-be ex-wife is doing much better. As far as I know, she is on anti depressants right now and started her own therapy. Also, she has a good support system around her so she is fine. Our daughter was with me most of the time and we spent a lot of quality time together. We have been taking her to a therapist, too. She is taking the separation much better than we expected. She is into drawing/painting and we have been practicing together. She has won 1st place award in a local competition in her age group and I am super proud of her. As smart as always :')
For the divorce, my wife agreed to an amicable divorce. We gave the documents to the local family court and will have the court seeing next month as scheduled. 50/50 financial assets and 50/50(80/20 at first) custody. She wanted to see our daughter only on weekends until she is in a better place. After that, we'll convert to 50/50. It's more desirable for me to be honest. I want to have our daughter an equal time with her mother.
I am staying at our house currently. I'll buy the share of my wife from her and she'll stay at her parents for now. They are very close to our house so it's good. My wife is planning to rent a separate place around the same area in the future. Time is passing and life is going on somehow. I am also in a much better place mentally and emotionally. I am on amicable terms with my wife and as long as we are not living together, I do not feel uncomfortable as I did in the past. Not much drama just life is being life and everything finding its own place with time.
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Comments
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SunSpot666
Congratulations, especially about the daughter not being traumatized.

OOP: Thank you! She took the divorce/separation much better than we expected.

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Noc1c
Really boring update, which makes me happy
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I (female 28) and fiance (male 30) have been dating for three years engaged for one year. We are both from the Caribbean. My fiance has a very small family. It is just him his mum and his little brother. I have a great relationship with his brother however, building a relationship with his mother has been very difficult. My fiance’s mom is a very judgemental person but that is just her as a character from the first day I met her the first words that came out of her mouth was “oh my God you are really pretty is that outfit from Primark but you look really nice”.
She has often made passive aggressive comments about the way I dress the way I look and my weight. when I came back from holiday with my family. The first comment she made when she saw me after three weeks away in sunny Jamaica and Miami, was “oh my God, you’ve put on so much weight you look much bigger”. This isn’t the first time she would make comments like that about my weight or how I dress. I would also like to point out that my fiance‘s mum has a very high-quality taste when it comes to fashion she would often buy and wear a lot of designer clothes such as Louis Vuitton,Gucci, Chanel and many more brands.
I have bought this up to my fiance saying how I feel disrespected by the comments his mum has made about me how I dress and my appearance he does bring it to his mum and defends me but she just says I didn’t mean it like that. I love her. I love how she dresses and it would just get dropped very quickly. I have also brought up to my fiancé that there are times when I come to the house and I say hello to her and she ignores me and there’s times that I’ve gone to give her a hug and she backs away or doesn’t return the hug. therefore I decided she must be somebody that doesn’t like hugs so I just say hello to her even if she doesn’t say hello back. However, my fiance Mum said to my fiance that she finds me rude because I don’t give her a hug when I see her and I explained to my fiance that I always do.
But fast forward to present I am now planning for the wedding. My fiance Mum has had a lot of opinions on my wedding. I want to just add that my mum and dad are not very fond of my fiance’s mum as she has also made passive aggressive comments around them.
For example I threw a surprise party for my fiance for his 30th birthday his mother didn’t want to be involved in the party planning as she said she wasn’t sure if her son would want a surprise party because he’s not that type to like parties. I know my fiance and he would love something like that and he did love it as he stated that was the best birthday celebration he has ever had. His mother wasn’t very happy with that comment. But whilst she was at the surprise party that was at my house this was the first time my parents were meeting my fiance Mum and brother. my mum was about to serve the food at the party and coming from a Caribbean household we always have lots of food when having parties and we usually give people paper plates to eat their food from , as we were catering for about 30 people at the party. The first thing my fiance Mum said to me was “ I need a proper plate and a proper knife and fork. I am not degrading myself by eating on a paper plate” Other people were around and they just gave a weird look. But I just brushed off the comment and said to my fiance Mum I’ll be happy to get you a plate and a knife and fork. She then followed me into the kitchen. I then said to my mum, can she grab a plate for me? My mum being the sweet person she is went to get my fiance‘s mum one of our nicer plates from our China set. My fiance Mum then turned to me and said “ what your mum doesn’t have any clean plates in the kitchen?” my fiance‘s mum would often make rude comments like this to me however she didn’t realise my auntie was also in the kitchen at the time and my auntie turned to her and said “she’s getting the plate for you now why don’t you just wait” My fiance‘s mum looked shocked as she wasn’t expecting my aunt to be in the kitchen. My fiance‘s mum, quickly tried to mask it by saying “oh I was just joking thank you so much for getting me the plate.”
From this encounter that my family have had with my fiance’s mum and the overall rude comments that she makes about me my family are not very fond of her and how she talks and addresses people overall it can come across belittling and rude. My fiance Mum always backs herself up by saying it’s a Caribbean thing we just talk like that. However, I am from the Caribbean and so is my family and we do not speak to people like that we talk to everybody with respect especially when we are in other peoples homes.
A couple months after that My mum and dad then decided to throw me and my fiance an engagement party at our house. My mum and dad warned majority of my family of my fiance’s mums behaviour as coming from a Jamaican background a lot of my family take disrespectful comments very personally . They already find my fiance Mum to be rude and my parents had to speak to a lot of them before the party just to ask them to not react when my fiance‘s mum says something disrespectful as they wanted the engagement party to be something positive for my fiancé and I. However that didn’t stop my fiance’s mum for being disrespectful to nearly all of my family members and friends but other than that we had a great time at the party. Fast forward to the day after the engagement party my fiance and I were opening cards from our family and friends. A large proportion of the party was my family as I said before my fiance has a small size family. as we were opening the cards there was large sum of cash in a lot of the cards in total we had a little bit over £600 from all the cards.
The plan was to open a bank account and store the money in there to go towards any other wedding funds. as we were opening the cards my fiance’s mum called my fiance and said to him make sure you bring back the cards and the money .
I found this comment to be weird and I asked my fiance why did your mum ask for the money? He said I’m not sure. Maybe two days after the engagement party, my fiance had called me and said the engagement money has gone. I then said to my fiance wtf where is are money? Did you miss place it? He said no my mum went into my room and took our money as she said she needed it urgently. I was absolutely livid. I couldn’t believe that she went through my fiance’s room looking for the money and stole it.
I was so mad at my fiance for not saying anything to his mother I had to then call her and tell her put the money right back. She tried to argue with me telling me she needed the money urgently and it was a family emergency. She needed to send money to someone in the Caribbean. This caused a huge problem between me and my fiance and I told him he needs to stand up for us or else I will do it then spoke to his mum about the money and she gave it back. When I sat down with her and spoke to her about how upset I was over the fact that she took the money, she said to me you are clearly not someone who is not family orientated I don’t care what money I have or where it’s comes from if my family needed it I will give them the money if I go to my sons room and I see £20 sitting on his desk if I want it, I will just take it and now I know if I was laying dead on the street I wouldn’t call you for a pound cos I know what you are like with money.
I cannot believe that this woman turned it on me making it seem like I was crazy for being upset with her for stealing our engagement money. I had enough of this and I said to my fiance if he doesn’t start sticking up for me and our relationship I don’t see a future.
My fiance was very apologetic and said that he will start sticking up for us as he knows this is wrong but He said his mom has been taking money off of him and his little brother from when they were children any birthdays money, big events or any money he would get from family his mum would just take it so he was so used to his mum taking money from him that he didn’t see a problem with it. I have made sure that moving forward with this wedding that all financial costs are done by me and my side of the family.
my mum has stated that she does not want my fiance ‘s mum involved in any of the wedding planning as she’s very judgemental and rude and does not trust her with money as she’s afraid that if we ask her to book something that she would take the money and use it for herself.
My fiance‘s mum has been very vocal about the wedding she has said I want this wedding at my Catholic Church or I won’t be happy . I am born again Christian I have a church that I have been going to since I was born. My pastor has known me from birth and has been an active person in my life and has always been there for important mild stone in my life. I have always told my fiance that I want my Pastor to do the ceremony. My fiance agreed and said he wants the wedding wherever I want the wedding as he couldn’t care less whether it was in a catholic Church or a normal church.
My fiance and I picked this beautiful Riverside garden club venue for the wedding that we decided we were gonna have the ceremony there as well as the reception. My fiance’s mum was not happy about this and said that if it’s not at her Catholic Church, she is not gonna come and I should convert to Catholic religion.
I said I would absolutely not be converting and this is the decision that we have made as a couple and if she doesn’t want to come that’s on here. My fiance spoke to his mum and said to her she needs to start respecting our decision and she then apologised and said I just want this for you as it’s important to get married in a church, especially as a catholic but I respect your wishes. Which I know was bullshit. She only said this because my fiance was visibly upset with her and was cold to her for a little while. Because she is so negative about the wedding I do not involve her whatsoever in anything to do with the planning.
I just recently had a long conversation with my fiance and I expressed my feelings about his mother and I decided for my own mental health and from speaking to family, friends and speaking to a pastor about this as it’s gotten so serious it has made me feel so depressed at times as I really love my fiance and if it wasn’t for his mum, our relationship would be so perfect as we literally have no issues. Anything we argue about is always to do with his mother. So I expressed to my fiance that I do not want to have a relationship with his mother until I see some change in the way she treats me. As she is so judgemental and doesn’t respect boundaries. I do not feel safe to have a relationship with her.
She has asked my fiance if I would like to go out to dinner and overall meet up with her more often just her and I. I told my fiance I would absolutely not be meeting up with this mother on my own any encounters I have with this woman I want my fiance to be there as I do not trust her. My fiance Said he is fine about me not having a relationship with his mother however I can tell from his facial expressions that he really wants me to try and have a relationship with her.
So am I the arsehole for not wanting a relationship with my fiance Mum?

I 21m live in the city where I work and study, and two streets down from me my best friend’s little sister 18 lived, she got into the same university as me this year on a fully paid scholarship which I was so proud of her for, to me she’s no different from my own younger sister and so when she came I showed her around the university and city and told her to come to me if she ever needed help with anything and if anyone was messing with her. fast forward to last week and I was working a night shift at this family owned business with the nicest bosses I’ve ever worked for, where I get a call from my best friend all worried, he tells me that his sister isn’t answering any of his and his family’s calls or messages, and since where we from police can’t look for missing people unless they’ve been missing for over 24 hours he called me to go check on her and to see if she’s okay which I’ve obviously accepted, so I talked to my boss and told her the situation and she gave my my half hour break early, since she lived 5-6 minutes walk away I walked over to her apartment and knocked on her door multiple times with no answer, so I looked under the carpet to see if there’s a spare key and there was, as soon as I opened that door I saw her lifeless body hanging from the roof. I was completely frozen for what seemed like forever staring at the hanging body of the girl I saw as a younger sister of mine and tears just started rolling down my face, eventually the weight of it all got to me and I fell down to my knees at that door and I started bowling and screaming, some of the people living in the building came out to see what’s the screaming about and everyone was shocked to see her dead and someone called the police while too guys got me up and gave me some water and asked me to explain what the hell happened, and I told them everything, I however couldn’t bring myself to tell her brother what happened so I called him and gave one of the guys the phone to tell him everything. I also called my boss and told her everything and she was so sad to hear about it, she gave me the rest of the day and week off and told me to give the family her condolences which I’ll forever be grateful for. In an hour and a half her entire family along side the police and medical staff were there, they found a suicide note she left on her bed saying that she had been getting raped and abused by a group of guys for months in the university and that they’ve threatened her over and over again that if she tells the university or the police or anyone else about it they will make her and her family’s lives an even worse living hell and she just couldn’t take it anymore, her father and brother both came screaming at me about how I could let this happen to her even though I’m there and that they trusted me, I didn’t blame them because of the circumstances, they had her funeral two days later and it was so emotional, since we’re Christian that priest refused to let her coffin be entered into the church for them to do the usual prayer upon since she committed suicide which led to a huge fight between her dad and brother and the priest, eventually they had to bury her without the traditional and religious traditions, the hardest part of it for me is that they didn’t want me there as if it was my fault. When I went to pay my condolences and see her one last time her father threw me out and was screaming “you killed her” it was clearly an emotional week for all of them so I just took my self and went home crying. The picture of her hanging dead will haunt me till I die

It's about a war veteran harry being sent/stumbling into another world where Voldemort is alive and his counterpart is Voldemort's right handman but he is killed, in this world, lily and James is alive and have other children I remember the evil harry has a brother and 1 or 2 sisters, evil harry kill or put his brother into catatonic state.
Back to war veteran harry
I remember the war against Voldemort turned bad when Voldemort decided to attack the British Parliament during a live session to show dominance, after that attack the muggles declared war to all wizards and got involved and the wizarding world goes into flame with not only having a war with Voldemort but also with the muggles. The muggles create a way to discover the heavily warded location via satellite then proceed to bombard those killing many wizards. In present time Voldemort is dead harry is hiding in the ruins of Hogwarts after it got bombarded by ballistic missiles killing many students a long time ago, harry wields the elder wand (I think) and the most wanted individual of muggles. It then shows a helicopter arriving then dropping a squad of S.E.A.L. harry fights them off killing the leader but not without getting wounded, he is forced to retreat inside the ruined castle while the remaining soldiers follows him inside. Harry stumbles into the room of requirement hiding inside it but when he comes out he is greeted with a student who looked at him with horror(I think the student is Daphne green grass) then after that it cuts to the history of tho other world
In this new world, Voldemort is in open warfare with the wizarding world and the light is losing. The difference of this world and war vet. Harry is that Lily Potter and James Potter is alive in this world and have childrens aside from their harry, another son and 2 daughters. The harry potter of this world turns evil and becomes on the same status as Bellatrix lestrange, this harry kill or put her brother into catatonic state committed murder AND r*pe Alice long bottom in front of frank before torturing them to insanity or killing them (I'm not sure if this really happens) evil harry is killed in this after the order arrives a little to late. Neville is of course angry with evil harry for what he did to his parent specially his mother, when war vet. Harry arrives in this world he arrives during the day time of school year, many students saw him and the professors chased him away, after that day many students are distraught, in the griffindor tower evil Harry's sister is talking with the rest of the gang about it while Neville is angry. War veteran harry is force to hide away and proceed to learn the history of this world. I also remember that some deatheater who saw war vet. Harry thought it's their harry and casually have a conversation with him before being killed by harry. Voldemort upon hearing that his righthandman possibly revived back from the dead proceed to make an open attack in diagon alley. Fast forward to the day of attack, the potter daughters including both lily and James and their selected friend is in the diagon alley when dozens of death eaters arrived and started killing people, the students fight back but is being pinned down, Dumbledore arrives and so does Voldemort and confront each other. Dumbledore is losing before war vet. Harry arrives and conjure some sort of shield charm the only Dumbledore knows how to perform, the shield greatly affect Voldemort but he survived due to Voldemort using demon magic which unsettled war vet. Harry. After the death eaters retreats with Voldemort, harry vanished. The ministry put a man hunt on harry, under constant pressure, harry sent a message to Dumbledore stating that he would like to make a meeting with him and the OotP, some time later, the OotP arrived into a seclude location they surrounded the area before entering the house, inside they find a tired looking harry with determined expression sitting in a armchair while holding the elder wand and another spare wand, Infront of him is a pensieve, when they all enter there's a small conversation before harry held the elder wand in his temple and proceed to extract his memories in all his life to show them. The OotP saw the hardship war vet. Harry had to endure during his war. Lily is a mixed emotion feeling sad and pity for this harry specially the part where she saw her sister beating child harry, after the show of memories many from OotP still loathe harry Potter but after seeing this alternate versions memory they feel conflicted Ron is still angry because in the memory, Hermione is in a relationship with war vet. Harry before she died in his hand. War vet. Harry offered to help them beats their Voldemort as a way to repent for his counterpart misdeeds
This is all I remember about the fic. I tried to be more detailed about it but I'm pretty sure I miss a few details, I hope you can help me find this fic. Also sorry for it to be this long

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - 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I 21m live in the city where I work and study, and two streets down from me my best friend’s little sister 18 lived, she got into the same university as me this year on a fully paid scholarship which I was so proud of her for, to me she’s no different from my own younger sister and so when she came I showed her around the university and city and told her to come to me if she ever needed help with anything and if anyone was messing with her. fast forward to last week and I was working a night shift at this family owned business with the nicest bosses I’ve ever worked for, where I get a call from my best friend all worried, he tells me that his sister isn’t answering any of his and his family’s calls or messages, and since where we from police can’t look for missing people unless they’ve been missing for over 24 hours he called me to go check on her and to see if she’s okay which I’ve obviously accepted, so I talked to my boss and told her the situation and she gave my my half hour break early, since she lived 5-6 minutes walk away I walked over to her apartment and knocked on her door multiple times with no answer, so I looked under the carpet to see if there’s a spare key and there was, as soon as I opened that door I saw her lifeless body hanging from the roof. I was completely frozen for what seemed like forever staring at the hanging body of the girl I saw as a younger sister of mine and tears just started rolling down my face, eventually the weight of it all got to me and I fell down to my knees at that door and I started bowling and screaming, some of the people living in the building came out to see what’s the screaming about and everyone was shocked to see her dead and someone called the police while too guys got me up and gave me some water and asked me to explain what the hell happened, and I told them everything, I however couldn’t bring myself to tell her brother what happened so I called him and gave one of the guys the phone to tell him everything. I also called my boss and told her everything and she was so sad to hear about it, she gave me the rest of the day and week off and told me to give the family her condolences which I’ll forever be grateful for. In an hour and a half her entire family along side the police and medical staff were there, they found a suicide note she left on her bed saying that she had been getting raped and abused by a group of guys for months in the university and that they’ve threatened her over and over again that if she tells the university or the police or anyone else about it they will make her and her family’s lives an even worse living hell and she just couldn’t take it anymore, her father and brother both came screaming at me about how I could let this happen to her even though I’m there and that they trusted me, I didn’t blame them because of the circumstances, they had her funeral two days later and it was so emotional, since we’re Christian that priest refused to let her coffin be entered into the church for them to do the usual prayer upon since she committed suicide which led to a huge fight between her dad and brother and the priest, eventually they had to bury her without the traditional and religious traditions, the hardest part of it for me is that they didn’t want me there as if it was my fault. When I went to pay my condolences and see her one last time her father threw me out and was screaming “you killed her” it was clearly an emotional week for all of them so I just took my self and went home crying. The picture of her hanging dead will haunt me till I die

I was born to a family where my dad wasn’t really around, my brother was a drug addict and my mum spoke to the dead regularly. She’s a medium.
I couldn’t wait to take drugs, I started using when I was 12 - was on the hard stuff by 15 and drank very often- at least 2,3 times a week. Smoked strong weed daily. Took cocaine and mdma at a very young age.
I lost my virginity at 12. I never ever used condoms and slept with at least 50 women, some great looking, some were crackheads with no teeth (literally).
When I was 16 my girlfriend was 34, her daughter was 2 years below me at school and I was living the life from the film “that’s my boy”
I ended up in a life of drugs and crime. Selling, using, fighting, stealing, robbing - I was also a massive coward. I got knocked out often - and I mean I almost definitely have some form of CTE coming. I was put in a mental hospital on a bad acid trip where I robbed a shop and tried to steal loads of cars. I was regularly arrested but luckily no prison.
When I think of myself growing up, I am disgusted and shocked but I figure that it wasn’t really me, because I am not who I am in this moment.
I met my wife who convinced me I could be better, I got a job in the city and put my soul into it. I rose to the top of a sales career and earn way into the six figure range yearly. I am essentially about to takeover the company as a result. Alongside this; came tons of cocaine and binge drinking.
I genuinely believe that God told me to get sober and do MMA. Yes, cage fighting. I don’t know why, but once I asked myself when I was jogging if I believed in god and as I looked up, there was a glowing neon sign on someone’s house saying believe. I nearly fell over, I stopped running and almost cried. Now I believe that my dreams are his messages.
It has been almost a year since I have drunk or used drugs.
I trained mma for a while, got injured and am now sitting here post surgery. My wife just suggested that if I was to keep getting injured she would want me to quit. I can’t quit.
I’m way too old to become a pro, (I’m 32) I know that but something inside of me, or outside of me is telling me I need to do this.
When I think of my age, my wife, my health stopping me doing it - I literally want to just be swallowed up by the earth.
I don’t know why all of the above is relevant, I don’t even know what I’m asking. I have this sub here and I have no one to speak to about the above so here it is.
Before you hit me with it, I don’t go to support groups and I have been to therapy many times. It was nice but to be honest, despite all of the above I get the impression the therapists think I’m ok. I’m not so sure right now lol
My friends often tell me to write a book about my life because I’m just one of those people that everything crazy that happens happens in my life. Maybe I need a bit of crazy to reach my dreams

Vibhajjavada and Sarvāstivāda: Analysing the Heart Sutra from Theravadin Perspective—Part 13

5.1.13. Sarvāstivādi Māyāvāda

Śūnyavāda and Māyāvāda are two parts of Sarvāstivādi eternalism. They have roots in the Vedas.
The Sarvastivāda Mahayana presents three asankhata (asaṁskrṭa dharmas): the Pratisaṅkhyā-nirodha (observed cessation), the A-pratisaṅkhyā-nirodha (unobserved cessation) and Ākāśa (space). The Sautrāntika Mahayana rejected them. [ON SARVASTIVĀDA (Samuel Buchoul)]

• Ākāśa (Sanskrit meaning):
  • 6) Brahman (as identical with ether);
• Ākāśa (Mahayana):
  • “Space (ākāśa) is beginningless, without middle and without end; and it is the same with dharmas”.
  • Space is invisible (adrśya) but, looking at it from afar, the eye perceives a light blue color.
  • (Vajrayana) Ākāśa (आकाश, “space”) or Ākāśadhātu refers to “(the element of) space”
• Ākāsa (Theravada):
  • Later Buddhist schools [Mahayana] have regarded it as one of several unconditioned or uncreated states (asaṅkhatadhamma) – a view that is rejected in Kath. (s. Guide. p. 70). Theravāda Buddhism recognizes only Nibbāna as an unconditioned element
• Vibhajjavada:
  • Space is rūpa (a sankhata dhatu), a conditioned paramattha (reality). Space is essential for sankhāra (construct/activity); e.g. occupying space. The four mahabhuta (rūpa dhatu) fill the space.
• Sarvastivāda
  • Space has blue colour, and is asankhata, but it is not the mind. Citta-matrata: Everything other than the mind is maya. Asankhata (asaṁskrṭa) means unimagined, as imagined is maya. Space being asaṁskrṭa rejects Māyāvādi creationism (imaginationism), Vijñaptimātra and Vijñānavāda (the doctrine of consciousness).

Māyāvāda (ಮಾಯಾವಾದ):—[noun] (phil.) the doctrine that the universe is an illusion or an apparent phenomenon and the Supreme Soul is the only truth.

• citta-matrata replaces soul with mind (indestructible buddha-nature).

[Bloodstream:] This mind is the Buddha.

• Or the original Tathagata.

Space

Space is emptiness, cessation, nirvana.
Mahayana is the religion of Nâgârjuna. He believes in the equality of space as the nature of all things. The concept equates mind with empty space or emptiness. Thus, Śūnyavāda and Māyāvāda are two parts of Sarvāstivādi eternalism or creationism.

The Svābhāvakāya [...] is attained through the power of the dharmakaya, through realisation. The vajrayana calls this the body of great bliss (mahâsukhakâya) because its distinctive quality is supreme, unchanging bliss. Ârya Nâgârjuna has said : « I pay homage to that which is free from the activity of the three realms ; which is the equality of space ; which is the nature of all things ;… Praise to the Three Kâyas (Kayâtrayastotra), Toh 1123, Tengyur, bstod tshogs,ka,70b3.[The Svâbhâvakâya or Svâbhâvikakâya in Mahayana Teachings (Jacques Mahnich)]

• vajrayana: vajra wisdom:
  • Five buddha families: The buddha family; vajra family; ratna family or jewel family; padma family or lotus family; karma family
• Maya is very complex and dramatic.

[Britannica:] The Yogachara (or Vijnanavada) school was founded, according to tradition, by the brothers Asanga and Vasubandhu (4th/5th century CE) and by Sthiramati (6th century), who systematized doctrines found in the Lankavatara-sutra and the Mahayana-shraddhotpada-shastra (attributed to Ashvaghosha but probably written in Central Asia or in China). Later Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism include doctrines that were to be influenced by Yogachara teaching.

• Thus, one must learn Lankavatara to understand the core doctrines of Sarvāstivāda (Mahayana).

Right/Wrong Māyā

The concept of māyā could be as old as imagination. It is in the ancient Vedas, too.

the māyā is right when it conforms to, underline the three-lettered word again, Ṛta. It is the Ṛta that makes māyā real [...] While Agni is the creative power of māyā, and Varuṇa the discriminative, there is a point at which māyā becomes the reality or just the opposite. Only the right māyā can destroy the “wrong” one [...] Vedānta, Buddhism, and Jainism [...] view Māyā as a hindrance [and] the world is dark, as a burden, a distraction [Vedā: Māyā (Kiron Krishnan)]

• Sarvāstivādi sutras present buddha-lands, etc. The lifestyle is oneness, as Buddhas and bodhisattvas do not have individualised will-control (Lankavatara/Suzuki-Goddard) or individualism.

Māyāvāda

Sarvāstivādi Māyāvāda is based on Māyāvāda of the Vedas.

[Brihadaranyaka Upanishad:] the Self, the Reality that has no second, appears as something else, like a second moon when one has got the disease of double vision (Timira) [...] Verse 1.4.5: He knew, ‘I indeed am the creation, for I projected all this.’ Therefore he was called Creation. He who knows this as such becomes (a creator) in this creation of Virāj. [Section IV - The Creation and Its Cause Swāmī Mādhavānanda]

• Because brahma was bored, he created Maya, his imagination with self.
• The religion: all imaginations are responsible for their wellbeing, progress and escape from burdens.

BG 7.13: Deluded by the three modes of Maya, people in this world are unable to know Me, the imperishable and eternal. [bhagavad-gita chapte7/verse/13]

• Bodhidharma says something similar:

[Bloodstream:] "Someone who sees his nature is a buddha."

• Nature, or self-nature: svabhāva
• His nature (self-nature) is emptiness (svabhāva-śūnya). His self-nature is buddha-nature (gotra-svabhāva).
• Emptiness and buddha-nature are the mind. Vijñānavāda: only mind exists, only mind is real.

māyāvāda was openly denounced as ‘crypto-Buddhism’ by early philosophers like Bhaskarācārya, Pārtha-sārathī Miśra, Yādava-prakāśa, Rāmānuja and Madhva. There are differences between the māyāvādīs and the Buddhists so far as the external rules of social conduct go, yet as far as their philosophies are concerned there is absolutely no difference between these two schools. [The Self-Defeating Philosophy of Māyāvāda (Gaura Gopāla Dāsa)]

Māyāvādi God

[harekrsna.com: mayavadi:] "One who is transcendentally situated at once realizes the Supreme Brahman and becomes fully joyful. He never laments or desires to have anything. He is equally disposed toward every living entity. In that state he attains pure devotional service unto Me." [...] Strictly speaking, Mayavada philosophy is atheism, for it is a process in which one imagines that there is God. This Mayavada system of philosophy has been existing since time immemorial. The present Indian system of religion or culture is based on the Mayavada philosophy of Sankaracarya, which is a compromise with Buddhist philosophy. According to Mayavada philosophy there actually is no God, or if God exists, He is impersonal and all-pervading and can therefore be imagined in any form [as Viṣṇu, Lord Śiva, Vivasvān, Gaṇeśa or Devī Durgā, Tathagata, Tathagata-garbha, Avalokiteśvara, citta-matrata etc.]. This conclusion is not in accord with the Vedic literature. That literature names many demigods, who are worshiped for different purposes, but in every case the Supreme Lord, the Personality of Godhead, Visnu, is accepted as the supreme controller. That is real Vedic culture.

• Māyāvādi God is impersonal, oneness, all-pervading and imagined by the authors of the sutras.

[Lanka Chapter 11:] [4] [bodhisattva vow #8:] to attain perfect self-realization of the oneness of all the Buddhas and Tathagatas in self-nature, purpose and resources;

• the oneness (mind) in all the Buddhas and Tathagatas is the original Tathagata, according to the theories of citta-matrata.
• Lankavatara, Lotus and Heart are Mayavada philosophy that propagates the ultimate oneness, citta-gocara (thought realm), Maheśvara and buddha-lands.
• Māyāvāda and oneness are not universally accepted among the Hindus. However, it found a permanent home in Sarvāstivādi sutras, which were adopted into Mahayana.

Form

The works of [Śāntaraṣita and Kamalaśīla] produce abundant citations from these sūtra literatures stressing the significance of the passages like this from the Laṅkāvatārasūtra: “Material forms do not exist, one’s mind appears to be external. [Sonam Thakchoe]

• Material forms do not exist because they are imagined by the mind.
• mind appears to be external: The statement proposes a theory.

Emptiness/Śūnya is mind, the external agent inside form (maya: flesh and blood). Citta-matrata: Only mind is real (non-duality).

[Laṅkā (wiki):] what is seen as something external is nothing but one's own mind" (svacitta-drsya-mātram).^\12)^\)

Some questions:

• If all different forms share the same one mind (the same consciousness), how does that one mind communicate with itself as countless individuals?

Individuation:

[Lanka Chapter 2:] By attachment to names is meant, the recognition in these inner and outer things of the characteristic marks of individuation and generality, and to regard them definitely belonging to the names of the objects.

• Individuation means the mind recognises and is attached to its imaginations: Forms and Names.

Some questions:

• Why is one mind exists as many?
• Individuation does not explain:
  • how one mind exists as many,
  • how the mind discriminats itself as different individuals,
  • how it commits wholesome/unwholesom deeds, and
  • how it takes responsiblity for its kamma.
• If we all share the same mind, if your mind is also my mind,
  • how are we different individuals psychologically?
  • and how do we keep secrets from each other?

Ātmavādopādāna

Ātmavāda (आत्मवाद) or Ātmavādopādāna refers to the “doctrine of self grasping” and represents one of the four graspings (upādāna),

• If the mind in all the mortals is the same one mind, self-grasping of the mind means reality grasping reality, which cannot be a problem.

[Vibhajjavada (Acela Sutta):] "'He who performs the act also experiences [the result]' — what you, Kassapa, first called 'suffering caused by oneself' — this amounts to the Eternalist[3] theory.

• Sakkayaditthi should be discerned.

I (Ātman)

• Attavada (atmavada) claims I (Ātman) as Transcendental Changelessness is a Vedāntic concept, but anattavada rejects that.
• The indestructible buddha-self-nature is atta by definition.
• Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda is an attavada which proposes the unbornness of the mind and rejects the three truths: anicca, dukkha, anatta.
• How does Mayavādis reject the truth of dukkha (pain and fear of pain)?
  • Maya has no feeling (vedanā): Form is emptiness, emptiness is form (the Heart Sutra).

The Enigmatic Dukkha

[Heart (Red; page 134)]: Our fear begins with our separation from emptiness. And it ends with our reunion.

• Maya's fear begins with maya's separation from the mind (buddha-nature, Ālayavijñāna).
• How is imagination separate from the mind?

Eternal Perceiver and Perception

[Eliot Deutsch and Rohit Dalvi]

1. by what means can one perceive the perceiver?”
2. The teacher said, “It would be true, if there were a distinction between perception and perceiver. The perceiver is indeed nothing but eternal perception. And it is not [right] that perception and perceiver are different as in the doctrine of the logicians.”

• Lankavatara complains about philosophers (logicians), too.

1. When a man is asked, ‘Where do you have pain?’, he points to the Śakara locus where [the body] is burned [or cut] and not to the perceiver, saying, ‘I have pain in the head’ or ‘In the chest’ or ‘In the stomach.’ If pain or the cause of pain such as burning and cutting were located in the perceiver, he would point to [the perceiver] as the locus of pain just as [he points to a part of the body as] the locus of burning and so forth.

• Brahma was bored, so he created Maya.
• If boredom is not brahma's imagination, it is a real pain, which rose from anusaya kilesas and caused brahma to need something.
• Why did the original Tathagata (mind) imagine?

1. in all the śrutis and the smtis the highest Ātman is said to be ‘free from evil, ageless, deathless, sorrowless, hungerless, thirstless’ (Ch. Up. VIII, 1,5) [Eliot Deutsch and Rohit Dalvi]

• So is the mind.

Vedāntic Māyāvāda provides a meditation method to deal with pain:

1. [meditation method] I (= Ātman) am of the nature of Seeing, non-object (subject) unconnected [with anything], changeless, motionless, endless, fearless and absolutely subtle. So sound cannot make me its object and touch me, whether as mere noise in general or as [sound] of particular qualities [...] For this very reason neither loss nor gain is caused [in me] by sound...

• We could meditate like that in an ideal condition. That method cannot be practical to deal with an extreme condition. Real pain hurts, so it invalidates Mayavāda.

[pages 4-5] but Vedānta declines on the one hand that the Upanisads embody an injunction (e.g., that Brahman or the self must be studied and known, or that the world must be dephenomenalized)

• Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda avoids to explain self, too:

[Heart (Dharmanet):] Emptiness is a pedagogical term that points to the futility of any concept to accurately express the nature [svabhāva] of reality.

• Reality is soul or the mind. Maya is flesh and blood. This belief was very strong during the Buddha's time. However, He abandoned the belief he was born into. Yet, His innitial effort based on the existing belief led Him into self-mortification:

Soul in the Flesh

What inhibits the freedom of the soul is its bondage to the flesh. To redeem the soul it is necessary, therefore, to mortify the flesh. This is the principle that sustains all forms of asceticism, what Buddhism calls attakilalamathanuyoga or the practice of self mortification. Self-mortification could assume varying degrees of intensity and visibility depending on how the relation between the soul and the physical body is defined. [The Early Buddhist Teaching On the Practice of the Moral Life (Y. Karunadasa; page 3) THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY THE NUMATA YEHAN LECTURE IN BUDDHISM Fall 2001]

Oneness

Ātman is described as Wholeness, Fullness, Oneness, etc.
Sarvāstivādis also describe Ātman as Emptiness.

“In the beginning, my dear, this universe was the existent only, one alone, without a second” (Ch. Up. VI, 2, 1) [...] “Ātman, indeed, is this all” (Ch. Up. VII, 25, 2); “Brahman, indeed, is this all”; “Ātman, verily, was this universe, one alone, in the beginning” (Ait. Up. I, 1, 1); “Verily, this all is Brahman” (Ch. Up. III, 14, 1). [Eliot Deutsch and Rohit Dalvi; page 165]

• Void (emptiness) is oneness, wholeness, or absolute:

[Heart (Thich):] Thich Nhat Hanh considered emptiness is "totality" and "wholeness."

• Totality: Oneness, non-duality;

[Upanishads:] Atman is non-duality, all-pervading, the same in all creatures, pure, attributeless, beyond prakriti, and free from the changes of birth and growth. [So is Buddha-nature.]

• Buddha-nature can replace Atman in that sentence.

[Lanka Chapter 6:] We are taught that this Buddha-nature immanent in everyone is eternal, unchanging, auspicious.

• Atman is non-duality: Brahma/mind and Māyā are duality, but the latter is an imagination of Brahma/mind.
• Brahma's imagination is not considered as false imagination, delusion, craving, discrimination or sinful: Right Māyā.
• Then why is the imagination of the original Tathagata (mind) all the problems: Wrong Māyā?
• Why doesn't the original Tathagata imagine good māyā?

Three Forms of One God (Krishna.com):

[Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita:] Krishna, God, exists in three principal forms (rupas)—svayam-rupa, tad-ekatma-rupa, and avesha-rupa. Svayam means “original.” In this category there is only one person: Krishna. Originally God is one; no one is greater than or equal to Him [...] [According to Srila Prabhupada,] As mentioned in Bhagavad-gita, the gross material elements are earth, water, fire, air, and ether, and the subtle material elements are mind, intelligence, and ego. All of them are controlled by the Supreme Personality of Godhead as Vasudeva, Sankarshana, Pradyumna, and Aniruddha… . Lord Krishna, by His quadruple expansion (Vasudeva, Sankarshana, Pradyumna and Aniruddha), is the Lord of psychic action—namely thinking, feeling, willing, and acting.” (Srimad-Bhagavatam 4.24.35-36, Purport).

Prakriti in Mahayanist Māyāvāda:

Prakriti or Nature, an original energy manifesting in substance is the origin, the material and the agent of evolution [...] To this original Matter Sankhya gives the name of Prakriti, while Vedanta & Buddhism, admitting the term Prakriti, prefer to call it Maya [...] and regards Cosmic Evolution as a cosmic illusion. [Buddhism on Purusha and Prakriti - The Incarnate Word (Sri Aurobindo)]

• Lankavatara shares some major concepts with Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita.

The Non-Self (Anatman) Doctrine. According to this doctrine, neither sentient beings nor objects have an independent self-nature, for they are but manifestations of the mind or mind itself. Clinging to the concept of an ego is considered the cause of all suffering and a belief that must be overcome. [The Lankavatara Sutra (Minnesota Zen Meditation Center)]

• Māyā does not have self-nature, but only responsiblity, must attain buddhahood, and its sufferings are not recognised by its religions.
• All its actions are done by atman or the mind (buddha-nature).
• Dead bodies do not have atman or the mind (buddha-nature).
• Dead bodies are not dead māyā.

[Lanka:] Buddha-Nature "is not the same as the philosopher's Atman."

• Buddha-nature is different from atman by name only.
• Two sides accusing each other as philosophers or logicians.

Mahayana from Vedantin Perspective

A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (1896–1977) recognises Mahayana as a Vedic Māyāvāda in Buddhist clothes and the Mahayanist movement as the mission of Lord Śiva. That belief is firm among the followers of Swami Prabhupāda.

“[Lord Śiva informed goddess Durgā, the superintendent of the material world:] ‘In the Age of Kali I take the form of a brāhmaṇa and explain the Vedas through false scriptures in an atheistic way, similar to Buddhist philosophy.’ ” [CC Madhya 6.182 (Swami Prabhupāda)]

• That is the original words of Swami Prabhupāda. He does not say the Mahayanist Māyāvāda is true or false but the work of Lord Śiva.
• Adi Samkara (Śaṅkarācārya) consideres the śūnyavādins (Mahayanists) as “nihilists”.
• Bhakti Charu Swami delivered the words of Swami Prabhupāda to an audience and mentioned the role of Śaṅkarācārya:

the Lord instructed Lord Śiva and that’s why He came as Śaṅkarācārya [...] “In the age of Kali appearing as a brāhmaṇa, I will establish a temporary philosophy, temporary conclusion: asac-chāstraṁ” [...] which is covered Buddhism.
Buddism is covered atheism and māyāvāda is covered buddism. But he needed to do that? Why he needed to do that? So that the Vedas can be reestablished; to reestablish the Vedas he did that and how did he do that? It is interesting to note : the buddist are saying nirvāṇa is the ultimate goal of life and what is nirvāṇa ? It is to become nothing and Śaṅkarācārya came and he said, look this concept of nirvāṇa is not your concept, it is from the Vedas. And according to the Vedas, nirvāṇa actually means to merge into Brahman, to merge into the Absolute. Buddist are saying to merge into nothing; Śaṅkarācārya is saying merge into the Absolute, and what is Absolute? Absolute is Brahman? And what is Brahman? Brahmā is nirākār nirvises, Why? Because…. otherwise the Buddhist will not accept it. They will say you brought in the concept of Form. Then the Buddhist will say, well that is your understanding, not ours. But he took their point, nirvāṇa , okay, nirvāṇa means not to merge in the void, nirvāṇa means to merge in the Absolute or Brahman; What is Brahman? Brahman is Absolute. ŚRĪLA PRABHUPĀDA DROVE NIRVISESA-VĀDA AND ŚŪNYAVĀDA AWAY FROM THE WESTERN WORLD (Bhakti Charu Swami)]

• Theoretically, that is how the Dhamma-Vinaya Sasana disappeared in India and unable to reach the East Asia and limited the spread of the true message of the Vibhajjavadi Buddha.

Mahayana Buddhism is the largest Buddhist sect in the world, and its beliefs and practices are what most non-adherents recognize as "Buddhism" in the modern era. [Mahayana Buddhism - World History Encyclopedia]

• So, they follow the Buddhas they may never know.

Mahayanist Buddhahood

Anuttara is unsurpassable:

[Anuttara means] the doctrine of the Buddha cannot be either refuted or destroyed because it escapes any discussion; it is true (satya) and pure (viśuddha).

• Mahayana and Upanishad: Like soul in the flesh, Ālayavijñāna (Mahayana) and Virāj (Upanishad) are "what is truly real."

The meaning of what is truly real is severed from words. It cannot be thought of. You should go forward quickly. [(Venerable Master Hua) The Heart of Prajna Paramita Sutra]

• Isn't a sankhata dhatu truly real?
• What is truly real? One can't explain that based on the Heart Sutra. But could they find the answer in Sarvāstivāda, Vijñānavāda, Śūnyavāda and Māyāvāda?
• When they try to answer what is truly real, the Four Noble Truths are not in their minds because they do not know and because these Truths contradict their belief.

[Lanka Chapter 13:] [Nirvana] is where the manifestation of Noble Wisdom that is Buddhahood expresses itself;

• Noble Wisdom or Buddhahood exists in all three times (past, present, future). It is not something to attain, but it manifests within the forms, the mind's imaginations or bodhisattvas.
• A Mahayanist Buddha in citta-gocara (thought realm) is a physical body only, which is occupied by the original Tathagata, which manifested in them, according to Lankavatara.

[Prajnaparamita (CONZE page 61):] And that emptiness [or space], that is neither produced nor stopped, is neither defiled nor purified, [...] no decay and death, no stopping of decay and death; no suffering and no comprehension of suffering; no origination and no forsaking of origination; no stopping and no realization of stopping; no path and no development of the path; no attainment, and no reunion; no Streamwinner, and no fruit of a Streamwinner; etc. to: no Bodhisattva, and no knowledge of the modes of the path; no Buddha, and no enlightenment. (Ill) It is in this sense, Sariputra, that a Bodhisattva, a great being who courses in perfect wisdom, is to be called "joined".

• joined: Buddhahood expresses itself
• Sarvastivādi Māyāvāda, which originated in the Vedas, presents I (Ātman) or Transcendental Changelessness as "all dharmas exist in all three times".

[Heart (Red; page 134)]: [the] tenth stages concern buddhahood.

• Once a bodhisattva reaches the tenth stage:

[Lanka Chapter 11:] Buddhas from all Buddha-lands will gather about him and with their pure and fragrant hands resting on his forehead will give him ordination and recognition as one of themselves. Then they will assign him a Buddha-land that he may posses and perfect as his own.

• Avalokiteśvara was a tenth-stage bodhisattva or a Mahayanist Buddha, who is supposed to be in a Buddha-land.

The Dalai Lamas are believed by Tibetan Buddhists to be manifestations of Avalokiteshvara or Chenrezig (His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama).

5.1.14. Who Was the Vibhajjavādi Buddha?

"Just like a red, blue, or white lotus — born in the water, grown in the water, rising up above the water — stands unsmeared by the water, in the same way I — born in the world, grown in the world, having overcome the world — live unsmeared by the world. Remember me, brahman, as 'awakened.' [Dona Sutta: With Dona (Thanissaro Bhikkhu)]

• The Sammasambuddha means the self-awaken being.
• When Prince Siddhatta reached enlightenment, two brothers from Ukkalapa found Him and donated alms food. The brothers received eight strangs of hair. The kingdom of Ukkalapa built several stupas, including the Shwetigon Pagoda, to store Buddha's hair relics.

The most revered involved the enshrinement of hair-relics in the Shwedagon by two brothers, Tapussa and Bhallika, obtained from the Buddha in India (Pe Maung Tin 1934). The second maintained that the Buddha flew to Lower Burma, converted a Mon king and granted hair-relics to six hermits in Thaton who returned to their hermitages and enshrined their relics in stone stupas. [Sacred Sites of Burma: Myth and Folklore in an Evolving Spiritual Realm (DONALD M. STADTNER; page 24, 156)]

• The kingdom of Suvannabhumi (Thaton) and the kingdom of Sakka joined together and built the KYAIK-HTI-YO, Kyaiktiyo or the Pagoda-on-a-Hermit's-Head.

At the age of eighty the Buddha passed away in the village of Kusinara, his life a testament to the power of the human mind. His last words were an exhortation to his disciples: "All conditioned things are impermanent - strive on with diligence!" [The Buddha: Who was the Buddha? (Cynthia Thatcher)]

• Nibbana is not space but relief from the burden of nāma and rūpa (the five upadanakkhanda).

I've had a number of views on the book of James over the years.

1. It's so great - he talks about faith without works being dead (just like Jesus does in his teachings)
2. He's so practical and clear. A nice contrast to epistles full of theology.
3. Lots of advice for different situations. It's very similar to Proverbs in this way.

But now, I think he's over-the-top critical and nasty to his brethren.
★ Who is he writing to? Christians or non-Christians? Christians! He assumes all sorts of things that only followers of Jesus would be doing, and why would an epistle written to non-Christians be in the Bible?
He calls his readers "my brothers" over and over (eg 1:2,19), he talks about the church (5:14). His opening sentence indicates that he is writing to ALL Christians everywhere.
★Now that we've established that, my main point is that James is not practicing what he preaches. He is not heeding his own advice about the tongue. That makes him hypocritical, right? (Matt 23:3)

• if you doubt, you are not going to receive anything from the Lord (1:7)
• furthermore, you are double-minded and unstable in all your ways (1:8)
• get rid of the moral filth and evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you which can save you (1:21) <- wait, I thought that they were saved?
• have you not become judges with evil thoughts (2:4)
• But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. Whoever keeps the whole law but stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (2:9,10)
• judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful (2:13) <-- and I'm looking at you James! Do you demonstrate mercy anywhere?!
• The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (3:6)
• With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. (3:9,10) <-- so he's saying that his readers are cursing others! Let's see later on how James himself talks about other believers ...
• But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (3:14,15) <-- This is not actually accusing his readers or slandering them, but he doesn't think very highly of them.
• What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, a don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. (4:1-4) <-- Oh boy! This seems to be clearly slandering his brothers and lying about them. They kill?! They are adulterous people lost in desire for sinful pleasures? They are enemies of God? This is how he sees all Christians everywhere?!
• As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. (4:16) <-- more criticism of everyone else
• Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you. (5:1-7) <-- wow. James, watch your tongue!
• do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned. (5:12)
• Do not grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! (5:9)

★ My conclusion: James is a cranky old man, who, because he's the half-brother of Jesus, looks down on everyone else. He condemns his readers (Christians) for just about every sin there is, having evil desires, being enemies of God. A lot of what he says sounds like slander to me. He seems to assume the worst of people and criticise them for everything. The huge irony, is that this is the epistle which talks most about controlling your tongue, and with his words, James is illustrating exactly the opposite!
I'd be happy to get some sort of other viewpoint on this. Thanks. :)

Certain books are popular for a reason... and I'd like to read as many popular books as possible. I was wondering if people knew what books would fall under 'must reads' when it comes to pop culture/literary references. These can be graphic novels, plays, epic poems, classics, horror, romance, YA, kid's books, etc.
Some examples I have are: Shakespeare's plays, Gulliver's Travels, The Secret Garden, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Dracula, The Walking Dead, Lord of the Rings, Bridgerton, The Hunger Games, Ender's Game, Harry Potter, Dune, etc. Pretty much anything that is so popular it is a common literary reference, talked about often, or becomes an incredibly popular movie or TV show.
I ask because I want to become better at writing and analyzing. Reading helps with that. I also am very bad at pop culture and keeping up with references. I struggle to watch TV shows and movies more than I do with books.

Kill. Maim. Burn.
Kill. Maim. Burn.
Kill … Maim … Burn…
Wrenching your axe free from whatever remains of whoever you just eviscerated, the screaming nails fall silent and for a moment you know peace. For a moment you catch your reflection in the shards of a broken window. Who are you?
The face staring back through the broken helmet can’t be you, can it? Dead eyed, scarred, their mouth pulled into a cruel grin as they wipe the blood from their face and its iron-taste fills your mouth; satisfying something deep and dark within your broken soul.
How long has it been since they found you? Since they found you alone with a dulled bayonet atop a pile of orks and your dead comrades? You became one of them and though you were always slower and shorter they enjoyed your spirit and when death almost claimed you it was your brothers in arms, the XII who everybody else decried as monsters, that rushed you to the apothecaries, that demanded you be saved. How long has it been since they filled you with bionics and resculpted your very genes to keep you from dying and make you like them? You couldn’t truly ascend but your brothers didn’t care so long as you could still fight with them. And how long has it been since you last enjoyed silence. Since your every moment wasn’t haunted by the quiet hum of the nails? How long has it been since you could last talk to her?
A memory surfaces through the fog.
You were hiding away and blind with pain when she found you and with her touch the pain numbed, allowing you to think again; her presence soothing the agony. And you talked and she listened, for hours on end, understanding you all too well. Time passed and stronger bonds were forged with the XII, brotherhood, trust… and ill-fated love with the red angel.
When the orders came you were unflinching, when Captain Sarin purged the Conqueror you stood by and watched, choking on guilt, shame, and dark satisfaction as your friends and brothers in arms, burned in the void. But when you saw what Lorgra had done, when you saw what Atalanta had become, only then did you realise it was all for nothing.
You had given everything to defy the emperor, to see mankind freed and for Atalanta to have the vengeance she deserved against the golden tyrant. And that how it ended. And It wasn’t fair. You wanted more. She deserved more… more... More!
The nails scream again and again and again as the red mist descends and high above this blood-soaked dirtball, the angel of nuceria carves a terrible path through the fleets of the corpse emperor. Even if she doesn't remember you, you remember her and the promise you made on Istvaan V. Her father's empire will bleed and burn until nothing remains.