This seems like the logical place to share my concerns. Please let me know if this should be on a different reddit.
Last night I was playing around on Suno, an AI music making website, and I came across a strange song. It was simply titled "The short song". The music was Alternative genre making the disturbing lyrics seem interesting. The narrator of the song gets arrested after an apparent gunshot opens the song. I continue exploring this genre when I come across more disturbing songs and I realize they are from the same user. I then go to their page, and this is where it gets dark.
I quickly realized that the lyrics were more like someone's open diary and the music was a distraction. I turned off the sound and started reading through their words. I will share some of the lyrics here. The song titles I will give for reference, but you will see some of the themes are duplicated in several songs.
"That Ugly Toy"
What’s that toy? Did my mom put it in her mouth? It looks like (I gasped) Why is that pink? And it stinks
It is so disgusting So annoying And it’s not a ring It’s clearly a [doorbell noise] Yeah yeah imma open the door It’s a package from "hardcore" What the hell is that?
I opened the package it was (oh nah) Another (Another) Toy (boy) (Ew what is that?) This one is blue with a bit of white on top (pop popopopop)
What an ugly toy That’s ugly Super duper ugly Ugly ugly ugly (I think I know what it is)
I got one for my birthday Im 9 years old (hey hey) What an ugly birthday
"Is the Neighbor Better Than My Dad?"
After the story of the toy My mom did something else yeah boy She went to the neighbor’s place every day I heard something like oh wee continue like that baby and some groans
My mom is a super late one too hot (first letters) She slept with the neighbor Should I say it to my dad (bor bro bro)
[slap sounds]
My dad found the toys He also find my neighbor in her bed (Bed beg bet)
Is my neighbor better than my dad? Is he better when he licks her meow? My dad (I hope) he’s not that bad And I heard some pow (gunshots)
Oh my god I pray the pope My dad shows me his gun He shot my neighbor And he putted my mama in the oven (as my neighbor)
Was my neighbor better than my dad? Was he better to lick the meow? I hope my dad wasn’t so bad Because it’s my turn to get lick
"Everything I touch isn't good..."
Everything … Everything I touch (touch) Is contaminate so much Everyone I punch DIES
When When I touch someone (someone) Or something (something) Its not a good thing (Thing) … When I touched my teacher’s boob, The teacher got mad and she slapped me Then I smashed her head against computer that is laggy Like my PHONE
"I touched my teacher so she isn't good anymore (first part was Everthing I...)"
After that, she was in a pool of blood I pray god I just nod I’m scared is this my end? I think the officer will nod … So I get rid rid rid of the body I know it’s a bad idea but it was the only I take a shovel and start to bury her (weeee) … It was a bad idea (bad idea) But it’s wasn’t a choice (not a choice) Her name was emilia I can still hear her voice (her fat voice) I’m so pathetic Like tic tac tic tac tic It’s so annoying I can’t even say something without crying I TOUCHED MY TEACHER SO SHE ISN’T GOOD ANYMORE (Not anymore) (Oh yes not anymore) … After I did that, I got my car And I did go far (Far away) I can’t live with that anymore I don’t want more I can it just forget I hope I’ll get Better on day And I will say It was just a nightmare (just a nightmare) … It was a bad idea (bad idea) But it wasn’t a choice (wasn’t a choice) Her name was Emilia And I can still hear her voice (her voice) (Tic tac tic taxi) … I got an accident My leg my leg is broken And I’ll learn yes (oh yes) one day I’ll learn … It wasn’t that a bad choice (wasn’t that) It was clearly a choice (a choice) Her name was Emilia And I can finally stop hearing her voice (that voice) Not crazy anymore
"The thing I've done"
Hey I did something bad hey hey hey It was in may I’m scared to say Don’t wanna pay I wanna stay … I did some bad things, but none as crazy as this Im going to miss You when I’ll be in jail I wanna kiss My boyfriend one more time before I hiss Don’t want to pay I want to stay Don’t want to pay I just want to say I love you all day Why did I do this why did they Made me do that? … I did something (really bad) Don’t wanna pay For what I say Or what I did that day (Why did I do that) … Who will save me? I need to be Free (free) I’m gonna pray Should I say It to the guards? (Guards guards) … I did something (really bad) Don’t wanna pay for what I say (say) Or what I did that day (day) (I don’t have any chances) … The thing I did Was a car crash (ash) Imagine Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-bla la la la Im going to stay Il here since four years hey I pay There is nothing you can say (hey hey hey) … I did something (really bad) Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad (extremely bad)
"The cliff"
There’s the most useless thing in my city A road with at the end a cliff for me, I think it makes some weird ideas coming back (dirty minds but not only) Why is the road so dirty?
I just wanna go on that cliiiiiifff (iiiiiiiiifffffff) I wanna try the death jump (that’s nice that) If You’re not ok with that just put me in jail but I don’t care I will still do it and I don’t mind if I don’t have some mails The cliff is so tempting Just want an ending To that story that I was reading And the text I’m writing I’m clearly so close to go but the problem is that there are so much policemen Oh god I’m going to make a car crash That cliff is so tempting It’s so tempting It’s overwhelming I’m jumping With my car
I crashed my car into the police officers It’s finish for me so end me is a good solution I woke up in the morning Thinking And I finally find something
That cliff is so tempting (If I could do that I promise I would)
I have a curse It is: everything I touch isn’t good anymore (of course)
In my next song you’ll finally know all the story Of my patheti… C life (You finally know oh oh oh) Gonna be the last
"Beginning to End"
Wan a know all the story? I don’t fucking care I’ll sing it
I was already broke But I decided to play monopoly I didn’t have any money To pay the new iPhone I only had a fucking dirty Samsung I played monopoly monopoly in real life I started to pay some people for no reasons My mom and my dad wanted to see me dead and I wanted that too I took so much pills but I woke up in the mornin’ I had some dirty minds and I wasn’t happy in my life I wanted to end me to do the dead jump with my car There were some policemen who were blocking that cliff but I just make a car crash on them
Mhhhh I went to my house and I heard some screams and groans My mom Was playing with a dildo and sleeping with my neighbor My dad saw that and then kill her I saw my dad going in his car and I putted a bomb in there He exploded in his car I putted bombs in bar They all explode My cat died I was at school and I decided to touch my teacher’s boob She slapped me and then I smashed her head against the computer that is laggy
I burried her I made a car accident I know I’ll go in jail I’m going to end me in jail
Four years later I pay in jail
OK BACK TO THE POST:
There are a few more songs but you can see these must be from an individual who is in need of some help. As I mentioned earlier this is on Suno, which is free, so I encourage others here to check out this user "MonumentalPrelude524" on that site and see if you agree that this could be a red flag and there should be some intervention.
A few things I focus on from this user:
They may be a child in an abusive home where the mother is promiscuous and sleeping with the neighbor.
The father is at least an abuser and at most a murderer.
There was an accident and explosion?
This person mentions several times that they had a cat that recently died.
The incident with the teacher may have been their "maths" teacher, as another song is about that. ("maths" says European and not American)
Not sure the age as one song mentions being 9 years old and others mention driving. Although, it wouldn't be the first time a 9 yr old went for a joy ride.
I am posting this in the hopes that someone may recognize the details here or at least point me in the right direction as how to help someone who is clearly putting their pain out there for someone to find. Please help draw attention to this.
Thank you for your time.

Visiting good friends this week.
I have a 2 year old and they have a 19 month old. I know it’s never good to compare children. But they always ask us questions on how to do things, what would we do…etc.
Their 19 month old is my godson. And I’m concerned about him but his parents don’t seem to really care but it’s making me crazy and I need input on if it’s valid concern.
At 19 months he doesn’t speak. At all. Babbles at best and makes some letter sounds that they equate to words but he has no meaning behind them. They’ll ask him 37 times if he was more and when he finally goes “mmmm” they go “oh so you do want more! good words!” I haven’t even heard him refer to them as mama or dada. They just come up with weird theories as to why he has no words.
He has zero focus. I mean he has not yet focused on a task at all since we’ve been here. It’s like he just looks through everything or anyone speaking to him unless you fight for his attention.
Demands or direction? Nope. Nothing.
Even his dexterity is really low. He can feed himself but I feel like looking at his hands he doesn’t have the normal muscle built that you see in other kids. He also struggles taking small steps up or down, like just a curb requires holding his hand and standing while he works through it for a minute.
He stays at home and has no socialization with other children so it’s expected he has no idea how to play other than destroying anything my daughter tries to do. But we did convince them to enroll him in daycare as he was just sitting home with his working mum and she’s expecting another baby any day now.
My husband and I don’t plan to be all “this kid is behind and yall need intervention” but when they ask for advice we’d like to lightly throw in our opinion as they are receptive of it (like “maybe you should ask his doctor”). We’re just not sure if this is normal for his age since we only have experience with our own kid.
Has anyone experienced their own kid like this? Did you have to use therapy or any other resources?

Our session with Susan on Thursday is still ringing in my ears. Lita and I decided we need to take responsibility for bringing our beautiful family to a higher level. It's time for us to go from takers to givers. (At least sometimes.)
"Let's all eat and go swimming together!"
Sensei (from the May 17 WT article): "Dialogues are like a drama in multiple acts. There are moments when sparks fly and moments of sheer delight when chords of sympathy reverberate. Lively, vigorous dialogue is satisfying and overflowing with dynamism. That is why I give my absolute all to each encounter."
Friday night and it just worked out. Leonard was stuck in a studio session and couldn't make our lesson. After Memorial Day Mom and Dad have Friday afternoons off for the summer. Muma and Pupa had finished their work.
"Meet us at that Peruvian Restaurant on Cypress Avenue and 138th Street!" What they didn't know is that Lita and I packed their swimwear and enough towels for an army.
So we met. As it turns our Pio Pio is a chic and popular restaurant. I've never had rotisserie chicken as good as "Mama Juana's." They have this green sauce ("picante") dip that was so good.
So we talked about this and that. Big things such as the wedding and losing the bid on the property. Little things like Lita's personification of the modeling shoot. She also had us cracking up with a routine of a girl (she) who had to decide on whether or not to go on a tour. She called it "to tour or not to tour."
We ordered Flan and Tres Leches cakes for dessert. We told them that we had packed everything to go swimming at our East Bronx gym. "What? Swimming after this meal?" Veto. Oh well.😜🤪
Lita and I insisted on paying for the dinner. After all, we are now part-time givers.
Did gongyo, going to run. Amazing morning. Jammy playing for brunch and lunch. ALDI tonight.

Ich (42m) bin seit 10 Jahren mit meiner Frau (35w) verheiratet und kennen tun wir uns bereits seit 18 Jahren. Streit gab es schon immer, aber seit der Geburt unserer zwei Kinder (eine Tochter, 3 Jahre und ein Sohn, 1 Jahr) ist es noch schlimmer geworden.Tatsächlich erfahre ich viel verbale und emotionale Gewalt. Früher kam ich mit den Beleidigungen noch eher klar und konnte sie wegstecken. Damals dachte ich oft auch, dass die Attacken zwar etwas hart, aber in der Sache vielleicht auch gerechtfertigt sind und ich einfach das nächste mal besser auf Ihre sensiblen Punkte achten muss. Anschließend hatten wir dann auch wieder ein paar sehr harmonische Wochen.
Inzwischen wird es häufiger und es reichen Kleinigkeiten, wie ein schlecht gewähltes Valentinstagsgeschenk. Am meisten stört es mich, wenn sie mich vor unseren Kindern beleidigt. Da fallen Sätze wie "Versager, bekommst nichtmal deinen eigenen Sohn beruhigt. Was bist du für ein Vater, ihn schreien zu lassen?" oder wenn unsere Tochter weint "Du machst alle in dem Haus wahnsinnig mit deiner Art, sogar deine 3 Jährige Tochter" so als ob mich deren Weinen nicht selbst treffen würde. Sie beschimpft mich bei Streitigkeiten auch mit Kraftausdrücken wie "Stinkendes Stück Scheiße", "blöder Wichser" und "dreckiges Schwein" vor den Kindern. Nach einer Beleidigung sage ich dann oft einfach nur das Gegenteil (also zB dass ich kein Vollidiot bin), alleine um die Beleidigung so nicht stehen zu lassen. Aber im Grunde bin ich einfach nur hilflos und fühle mich erniedrigt.
Zu den Kindern selbst ist sie aber liebevoll und eine tolle Mutter. Auch sie brüllt sie hin und wieder an, aber verletzt dabei nicht ihre Integrität.
---- Nun folgen viele weitere Beispiele, die vielleicht etwas mehr Kontext geben und mir dabei helfen, den Kummer von der Seele zu schreiben. Alternativ kann die LeserIn auch gerne direkt zu den Fragen unten scrollen ----
Im Alltag habe ich das Gefühl, dass meine Persönlichkeit vor den Kindern mit Kleinigkeiten zersetzt wird zB indem meine eigentlich harmlosen Ansagen wie "genug genascht" revidiert werden. Neulich hat mich meine Tochter gefragt, ob ich auch schon einen Pyjama an habe. Meine Antwort war, dass ich noch Straßenkleidung trage. Darauf verdreht meine Frau die Augen und sagt zu meiner Tochter genervt, dass Papa ganz normale Kleidung trägt und keine "Straßenkleidung". Offenbar hat sie Sorge, dass unsere Tochter ungebräuchliche Wörter lernt. Weiteres Beispiel: Sie bittet mich Sonnencreme für den Kindergarten rauszusuchen. Ich hole ein Spray mit LSF 30. Darauf brüllt sie vor meiner Tochter, ob ich noch ganz normal sei. Jeder weiß, dass es spezielle Kindersonnencreme mit LSF 50 gibt. Meine Tochter nimmt mir dann die Flasche aus der Hand und gibt es meiner Frau mit den Worten "Hier Mama" zurück worauf meine Frau noch einen draufsetzt mit "Siehst du, sogar deine Tochter weiß, dass dein Verhalten nicht normal ist".
Das ist für sich alleine genommen nicht so tragisch, aber in der Summe und auf lange Sicht ist meine Befürchtung schon, dass bei meiner Tochter hängen bleibt, dass Papa dummes Zeug redet und nur Mama Bescheid weiß. Wenn ich mich rechtfertige und meine Motive für meine in ihren Augen unpassenden Handlungen darlege (zB LSF 30 ist doch recht hoch und langt in 95% der Fälle) , kommt als Antwort, dass ich doch einfach mal die Klappe halten und aufhören soll, ständig Streit anzufangen.
Sie legt sehr viel Wert auf Aufmerksamkeiten und Geschenke. Umgekehrt habe ich aber nicht das Gefühl, dass die gleichen Regeln auch in meine Richtung gelten. Zum Hochzeitstag und Valentinstag habe ich zB nichts bekommen, umgekehrt sind die Erwartungen an die Geschenke aber groß. Hochzeitstag und Valentinstag sind Garanten für Ärger zu Hause, weil ich grundsätzlich das falsche schenke. Meine kleinen Gesten im Alltag sind hingegen zu Selbstverständlichkeiten verkommen. Am Wochenende stehe ich mit den Kindern früh auf, versorge sie und spiele mit beiden, bis meine Frau gegen 11 Uhr ausgeruht und geduscht dazukommt. Ihr Kommentar das letzte mal war "Oh mein Gott. Nicht mal Frühstück für uns beide gemacht. Völlige Überforderung hier unten. Papa im Überlebensmodus". Nach einer Woche auf der Arbeit würde ich mich im Gegenzug sehr darüber freuen, auch mal den Morgen im Bett bleiben zu können. Ich hatte gefragt, ob ich Sonntag auch mal ausschlafen dürfte. Da war ihre Antwort, dass von ausschlafen keine Rede sein kann, bei dem Lärm den ich mit den Kindern mache. Jede weitere Nachfrage habe ich mir lieber verkniffen.
Vor ein paar Tagen ist es dann wie schon so oft eskaliert. Ursprünglich wollten wir alle zusammen schwimmen gehen. Da meine Frau aber nicht so richtig Lust hatte, habe ich gefragt, ob ich mit unserer Tochter einfach alleine schwimmen gehen soll. Sie hat zugestimmt. Am nächsten Morgen sind wir dann los und sie hat uns beiden noch viel Spaß gewünscht. Wie wir zurück kamen war sie bereits gereizt. Ich fange trotzdem an, gut gelaunt zu erzählen, nachdem ich die nassen Sachen ausgepackt und etwas verschnauft habe: "Wir sind auf dem Hinweg mitten in ein Unwetter geraten" und warte kurz auf eine Reaktion. Sie wird aggressiv: "UND WEITER? Muss man Dir alles aus der Nase ziehen? Du kommst nach Hause und erzählst nichts. Voll unheimlich und creepy. Wer verhält sich denn so? Was bist du fürn Mensch? Sagst nichtmal wo ihr wart". Ich: "Ja, in der Therme". Sie: "Familienausflug ohne mich also. Ich dachte ein normales Schwimmbad. Grenzt mich ruhig aus. Du bist so ein Arschloch. Mit dir wird man einfach nur wahnsinnig und unglücklich. Einfach respektlos. Ich weiẞ nichtmal wo mein Kind ist. Nichtmal das wird mir gesagt und ihr seid 4 Stunden weg ohne Anruf. Welcher Idiot verhält sich so? Glaub mir, irgendwann verlasse ich dich". Und dann ist mir der Kommentar rausgerutscht: "Na Hoffentlich". Ich bin nicht stolz darauf und mir ist klar, dass der Kommentar natürlich genau den Kern ihres Vorwurfs trifft, dass ich sie nicht genug wertschätze und liebe.
Seitdem ist die Stimmung angespannt und gestern sogar noch weiter eskaliert. Ich komme nach der Arbeit Hause, spiele mit meiner Tochter im Garten und füttere danach meinen Sohn. Meine Frau fragt, ob ich schon mit meiner Mutter gesprochen habe, da meine Mutter an dem Tag eine wichtige Untersuchung zu einer ggf. lebensbedrohlichen Krankheit hatte. Ich sage "ja, auf der Heimfahrt von der Arbeit" und dachte, als nächstes kann ich erzählen, was dabei rauskam. Darauf rastet sie aber völlig aus: "Du dreckiges Schwein. Du bist nicht normal im Kopf. Wieso sagst du das nicht? Wieso muss ich fragen? Bin ich kein Teil der Familie? Du assozialer Wichser." Darauf sage ich wirklich ruhig (aus Rücksicht vor den Kindern), dass ich bisher noch nicht dazu kam, es noch gemacht hätte und sie mich bitte nicht vor den Kindern beleidigen soll. Sie wieder: "Halt die Fresse. Ich rede wie ich will". Ich wieder: "Beleidige mich nicht vor den Kindern". So geht es ein paar mal hin und her, bis sie mit einem Gegenstand nach mir wirft und unsere Tochter mit einbezieht: "Dein Vater ist ein assozialer Wichser. Ein dreckiges Schwein. Siehst du wie er mich behandelt? Ich hasse ihn." Darauf holt meine Tochter auch etwas und schmeißt es nach mir, worauf meine Frau noch "Sehr gut, Schatz" sagt. Das hat mich sehr verletzt. Ich habe dann kommentarlos meinen Sohn fertig gefüttert, war dabei aber den Tränen nahe.
Ich weiß nicht genau, warum sie derart impulsiv ist und woher das kommt. Sie hat bestimmte Erwartungen und Vorstellungen an die Beziehung, die ich offensichtlich enttäusche. Sie handelt in voller Überzeugung, dass ihre Wut meine Schuld ist. Sie ist dann voller ehrlichem Hass für mich. Nach solchen Wutanfällen fängt sie dann bei jedem Gesprächsangebot an, unsere ganze Beziehungshistorie auszurollen (mit einem aus meiner Sicht völlig konstruiertem Narrativ), wieviel sie für mich in der Beziehung geopfert hat, angefangen damit, dass sie für mich 250km hergezogen ist und als Dankeschön dafür vor 15 Jahren zum Geburtstag nur einen unpersönlichen Gutschein fürs Shopping Center geschenkt bekommen hat, oder dass ich noch nie (wie andere Männer für ihre Frauen) eine Überraschungsparty am Geburtstag organisiert habe oder dass ich nach der Geburt unseres Sohnes am zweiten Tag erst 16 Uhr im Krankenhaus war und sie "wie ein Stück Dreck habe verotten lassen" (ich hatte Vorbereitungen getroffen, weil wir die Tage darauf zur Hochzeit ihrer Schwester wollten und meine Frau schon am dritten Tag nach Hause konnte. Da sollte alles erledigt sein). Unter Tränen folgen etliche weitere Belege aus der Vergangenheit, die zeigen, wie schlecht ich sie schon immer behandelt habe und was sie alles mitmachen musste und dass die neuen Streitigkeiten nur ebenfalls zeigen, wie verzweifelt ihre Lage mit mir ist. Es gäbe etliche weitere solche Dialoge zu berichten, aber ich lasse es bei diesen Beispielen. Viele habe ich mir direkt nach dem Streit notiert, damit ich im Kampf um die Deutungshoheit hinterher zumindest für mich einen klaren Kopf behalte.
Inzwischen schreibt mir zusätzlich ihre Schwester und rät mir, mich auch mal in ihre Lage zu versetzen und mehr auf meine Frau einzugehen. In der Vergangenheit habe ich Stunden, manchmal Tage damit verbracht, sie wieder zu beruhigen, damit wir uns wieder versöhnen. Ich möchte das aber nicht mehr. Ihr Umgang mit mir vor den Kindern war wie ein (viel zu später) Weckruf. Andererseits habe ich Angst vor der Trennung. Ich liebe meine beiden Kinder sehr und bei dem Gedanken, nicht mehr Teil ihres Alltags zu sein wird mir richtig übel. Auch meine Frau liebe ich noch, aber merke. wie ich mich mehr und mehr innerlich distanziere und kaum noch zu Zugeständnissen bereit bin. Ich bin der arbeitende Teil der Familie. Sie hat noch 2 Jahre Elternzeit. Auf ein Wechselmodell wird sie sich wohl kaum freiwillig einlassen. Eine Eheberatung hat sie ebenfalls ausgeschlossen, weil für sie mangelnde Wertschätzung meinerseits als Ursache feststeht.
Heute morgen ist sie mit den Kindern zu ihrem Bruder übers Wochenende gefahren, was mir wieder meine Ohnmacht bzgl. der Kinder vor Augen führt. Aufhalten kann ich sie eh nicht und für die Kinder ist es besser, wenn sie denken, es wäre ein schöner Ausflug. Daher habe ich noch packen geholfen und das Auto getankt. Aber es macht mich traurig, wie sehr ich dieser Willkür ausgeliefert bin. Hat jemand ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht? Meine konkreten Fragen sind:

• Wart ihr nach einer Scheidung wirklich glücklicher oder eher unglücklicher?
• Wie ist euer Verhältnis zu den Kindern heute und wie habt ihr euch auf den Umgang geeinigt?
• Wie kann ich mich gegen die verbalen Übergriffe schützen, ohne dass es weiter eskaliert?
• Wie kann ich die gute Beziehung zu meiner Tochter schützen? Falls die Trennung tatsächlich konkreter werden sollte, wird es sicher weiter eskalieren.
• Was ist aus eurer Sicht für die Kinder das geringere Übel? Schnell einen Schlussstrich ziehen, damit alle eine neue Routine aufbauen können oder doch erstmal Ruhe bewahren, um zu sehen, was zu retten ist?
• Und vor Allem: Wo und wie fange ich mit einer Trennung an? Erstmal alleine ausziehen und den Kontakt zu den Kindern riskieren? Oder bei den Kindern im Haus bleiben und von dort regeln? Das Haus und eine weitere Wohnung wird auch finanziell nicht einfach.

Ich bin für jeden Tipp und Rat dankbar. Sorry für den langen Text und Danke an alle, die bis hierher durchgehalten haben.

11th: Jerri Manthey 1.0 (The Australian Outback - 8th)

mother
u/SMC0629:
Despite how anyone feels about Outback, I think Jerri is the one character who transcends those opinions. She is a pioneer in terms of Survivor villains, literally the original, and for better or for worse, she had the entire fandom in a chokehold back when the show started. She's super complex and fun to watch, and EASILY my favorite character of the season.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
Survivor’s original villain. Man-eater Manthey, the original Black Widow, Survivor’s very first “mactor” casting, the asshole who said Keith couldn’t cook rice, the horrible person who accused Kel of smuggling beef jerky… Honestly, I think Jerri’s gotten underrated nowadays. There’s some meaningful discussion to be had about the extent of how much of a villain Jerri is based on modern day perspectives, but I have also seen it accompanied by takes about Jerri being neither a villain nor “that entertaining”, and honestly, I categorically reject both assertions.
Jerri carves herself a truly unique role in Outback and serves as a fantastic foil to all of the main characters of the show. She’s narcissistic and vain and has very little filter on her thoughts (i.e. her complaints about Keith and her open flirting with Colby), and she’s also very cutthroat with some amazing one-liners. I think Jerri is the first person in the show’s history to make a reference to “making a deal with the devil” and god does she pull it off so well. Her relationship with Colby is genuinely iconic. Her relationship with Tina is also pretty damn amazing as well (especially as it starts with both of them being suspicious of Kel). Her hatred of Keith, her feud with Elisabeth, the forced politeness she and Rodger share… hell, she manages to do the genuine impossible task of actually making Amber Brkich seem entertaining on Survivor! Give this woman an Emmy for fuck’s sake!
The beef jerky, her making tortillas to one-up Keith, her involvement in the Mitchell tribal council as one of his faithful allies, the “drizzle chocolate on a hot guy’s bod”, Colby splashing her with water after Ogakor lost reward, their late “date” at the Great Barrier Reef, her blindside, both Tina and Colby taking potshots at her in the FTC… there’s so much to say about Jerri. And despite all of these iconic moments and being such an iconic villain, she herself has a relatability to her that I think should not be ignored. Truly, one of the best of all time. Someone who should realistically make every Endgame.
Overall Rank – 9/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
The original villainess of Survivor. She’s the star of her season, and she has one of the most perfect three season arcs in the show’s history. I adore her in every iteration, but here she’s basically perfect. A true 10/10 character through and through. It’s really telling that the quality of the season goes down considerably after her elimination.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
The original villainess of Survivor. Her dynamic with Colby is iconic for a reason they have some of the best moments in survivor history. And perfectly sets up Colby’s story as well as just being completely tv gold with her beef jerky gate, Hershey bars, whenever she is on screen you know you are gonna get the Manthey experience.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Jerri is definitely one of the most well known characters, originally one of the most hated people on the show, and nowadays is one of the most beloved (although not a fan of the revisionist take that she was the hero of the season). From the beef jerky debacle, to her relationship with Colby, with having the ability to tick off a number of people with her attitude without even knowing, she's pretty fun overall.
~~~~~
u/Regnisyak1:
Jerri Manthey (Australian Outback, 8/16)
Jerri, Jerri, Jerri. The maneater of the show has one of the most important roles in the series and is a necessary character, not just in the history of Survivor, but the history of Reality TV. She shows what happens when a personality clash happens on Survivor. She demonstrates the pride of strong women and how they are immediately ostracized on these TV shows as being a “bitch.” The double standard she expresses, where she is playing a clear strategic game, but is relegated to the position of the camp pariah because of her behavior is endlessly fascinating. But most importantly? She is the true first villainess, the first true flirt of the series, and she is the demonstration of perceived evil in society when in reality people desire scapegoats. She is a stellar character and one of the few characters whom I ultimately question where I have in my rankings - and perhaps one day could be my number one of all time. I love Jerri.
There are about one million things I love about Jerri, so for this essay, I want to frame it in a certain manner that is easy to follow, both for myself and you all. Jerri’s strengths are mainly showcased in her relationships with other people on the island - namely, Keith, Colby, and Tina, and coincidentally, that is the order in which this paper will go. With Keith, we understand Jerri’s humor, bossiness, and personality best. Often, Jerri IS right whenever she complains about Keith - he is simply put, an idiot, and Jerri outshines him in everything. With Colby, we understand a newer facet of Survivor that hasn’t been shown - sexuality on Survivor, and how it's dealt with. With that, Jerri is also deemed as a villain, especially given the situation of Ogakor and their… conservatism. And lastly, Jerri is a free independent woman in the series - which means she is SATAN! A discussion of Tina will take over the last section of this write-up because she is the primary source of Jerri becoming the original villain that we all love and know her for.
I mentioned a long time ago in my Jerri 3.0 cut that I didn’t think that I was able to get her cut for endgame (because at that point, we all kind of agreed Jerri was making endgame), so the fact that I am in this position, to talk about one of my favorite characters of all time, is just an honor. Outback is a very underrated season when it comes to the theming of Survivor, and the fact that I get a chance to deep dive into it as extensively as I will right now is a lot of fun.
Part I: “He Should Keep His Day Job” - Jerri and Her Personality (featuring Keith and other Friends)
Opening right away on the now iconic helicopter scene, Jerri almost immediately came out on the island guns blazing when she reached the camp… by arguing with Keith. Keith in general is a condescending dink, but right away, he begins to suggest things for camp, when in reality they would not work in the context of how they should live - in other words, his ideas are kind of lame. But this culminates in the second when the world-class chef continues to cook the rice horrifically.
Jerri and her tortillas are unfortunately a bigger character than Amber 1.0, but they show so much about her character in such a short amount of time. One is that she is not afraid to speak her mind, both in confessionals and in the game. She complains about Keith not being able to cook something as simple as rice in the middle of the beach, while Jerri can do it with relative ease. She is not afraid to call his ass out on the issue either, because his rice sucked and she knew she could do it better. But it also shows Jerri’s bossy side, which seems to especially come out whenever she is hungry (or wakes up in a bad mood… or doesn’t get what she wants… or is annoyed… or… well you get the point). While Jerri is hilarious in the moment, and right because everyone hates Keith’s rice, people still see her as being negative because she has such a personality clash with the tribe, who tend to be people who follow, rather than lead like Jerri. People like her should be appreciative of what Keith is doing, but she breaks the mold and goes against the line. This culminates in Episode 3 when Jerri mocks Keith AGAIN because she is catching more fish than him without barely trying! Her overconfidence is further a key component in her character, and something that pushes people away.
I’d be wrong to not bring up JerkyGate at this point, which happens in the same episode with Jerri and also shows her abrasive side. We might never know if Kel snuck beef jerky on the show, or was simply munching on grass, but one thing we do know is that Jerri was pissed and led the witchhunt against him. Ultimately, Jerri is not afraid to take the lead on anything, even if the facts are not clear, and while the tribe was pissed at Kel for potentially having food and not being prepared to share with 7 other starving people on the island, Jerri got more flak for the situations due to how harsh she was in the concept. It’s another staple of her character.
Episode 3 is also an interesting episode for Jerri because it showcases one positive trait of her and her game. At the end of the day, while she could get annoyed easily and maybe isn’t the nicest when she is hungry, she is loyal to the people that she is friends with. Mad Dog was one of the most difficult votes for her at that point of the game because she considered her a close friend, but ultimately that was where the chips lay. It further expands to Mitchell in the next episode, where Jerri specifically mentions friendship in the game, and how she is not as close with some on the island as others. This sets off red flags for a particular Tennesseean and something I will go into more detail earlier, but it shows that no matter how the show portrays her if she likes you, she will be loyal to you. What’s important about this scene, however, is that it is a classic example of Jerri speaking before thinking about the words that she is saying. Jerri’s immediate regret in the next episode showcases her fear of the game and shows that she has game awareness, despite not having social awareness. Ultimately, her loyalty takes a front view at the end of Episode 4, as she refuses to vote for Mitchell, which puts her on the outside of the tribe because of Tina’s last-second vote flip on their hike over to the tribal council.
As time progresses, we begin to see more sides of Jerri, and it is up to us as the viewer to construe the positivity or negativity of Jerri. She is constantly complained about for her attitude on the show, whether it is her style of gameplay or her continued attitude on the beach. The gameplay portion of her game is rather important. As the game progresses we see Jerri become more and more paranoid. Jerri is a classic example of a player lacking self-awareness of how their behavior might affect people in the future, but what is notable is that she quickly understands that people do not like her in the game. I don’t think she is ever aware of the extent of the game and her behavior, (which I think explains her bitterness toward Tina in All-Stars) but she does know that people will never take her to the end, either because she is not deserving or because she is playing a good social game. But, that leads to Jerri becoming a paranoid mess, desperate to strategize with almost anything at this point. One notable moment is her strategizing with Colby in the middle night, which is something that he CLEARLY did not want to do. This was yet another strike, but showed that Jerri, while being bossy all the time, is also really game-oriented, but she doesn’t recognize what times she should - it reminds me of a lot of characters on the show, but Jerri is the true example of that, where she is actively seen as bossy AND overplaying.
But Jerri’s bossiness reaches a new height once the Kuchas come over to the tribe. Immediately, the Ogakors look like idiots because that dumbass Keith accidentally took the matches to the old Kucha tribe by accident, leading the women to have no ability to make fire, as their guests meander to their tribe. Further, we get Jerri being incredibly bossy about the rice and such, yet again, as the merge progresses. With this, we understand the entire characterization of Jerri with a simple Rodger voting confessional “Most days she gets up in a good mood, but oh baby, watch out if she gets up in a bad mood.” We get some classic Jerri personality clashes at this point in the post-merge, notably with her complaining about how Elisabeth cooks the food every morning, and how she has a specific way of cooking it.
This scene is especially important because it is a rare time when we see Elisabeth, of all characters, break their character and lose the sweetheart facade for a moment because of Jerri’s sheer negativity around camp. Elisabeth tends to keep her composure throughout most of the season, but you can tell her annoyment in this situation, and it sparks a different side of her character that we did not get an opportunity to see - a more malicious side where she pushes a lot of the Jerri boot in the process. It was yet another personality clash with Jerri at this point, and something that caused another strike because of her abrasion. And what’s funnier is that Jerri came into the merge to hide that attitude. She was attempting to be nice and together with the Ogakors as the other two Kuchas meandered over to their tribe, and she was even going to stay loyal to the final 3, who she never really knew the extent they hated her, but her power on the tribe was just too great, and her attitude finally wore them down. She went home in that episode, for a mix of reasons. Her abrasion, her attitude, her differences from the “good” people on the tribe, and her strategic abilities.
Jerri so effortlessly creates argumentation in the tribe, whether it is deserved conflict or perceived conflict because of her attitude. Her ability to be such a natural villain without over-hamming it up, and just merely due to her negative personality, is beyond impressive on the show, and something that I can’t overemphasize my appreciation for. Ultimately, Jerri is not really that bad, and I think many could even suggest that she is the right half of the time, but she ultimately cannot make that point clear because she just comes off too strongly. But is it her fault? Maybe not. At this point, we have to start looking at the other people in the tribe. Ultimately, Jerri is abrasive, the vitriol she got was just not deserved. It’s due to simple perceptions, initial first perceptions, and perhaps gender roles that created such an intense portion of the game with Jerri, and why she meets the themes of the season so well. But before that, let’s jump into the other character and their dissolution of a potential relationship, to a rivalry that last over a decade. He ain’t no Hershey bar, either.
Part II: “I Am SUCH a Sucker for Cowboys” - Jerri and Sexuality/Gender Roles
The tumultuous roller coaster that occurs between Jerri and Colby is telegraphed so greatly during Australian Outback, and ultimately it is because of one thing, and one thing only. Avoiding the full Freudian comparison, Colby is a MAMA’S BOY!
Jerri and Colby begin the show with having a mutual relationship and liking for each other, while also having their knives sharpened and ready to stab at the correct period. Probably one of my favorite and underrated scenes of Jerri was when she gave Colby the massage on the island. Both give immediate commentary in that they can see right through each other and know exactly what they are doing to each other. Jerri begins the massage but knows that at some point in the game, even though she is attracted to Colby, she will have to stab him in the back. On the other hand, Colby sees right through her sexualization of him and knows that Jerri will be in trouble down the line.
Something that Jerri’s weaponizes is her flirtatious nature. I don’t think Jerri gets enough credit for using that as her strategy and being the first really to use it in such an obvious way, because she is actively using it to win people over, notably her potential boyfriend on the season, Colby. To me, I think Jerri very well knows how she is acting on camp, and using her powers of seduction as a way to convince Colby to move over to her side and be a strong ally for her character. I think she also just has a crush on Colby, but as we’ve seen from her being strategic and understanding game awareness, she knows exactly what she is doing.
Probably, my favorite example of Jerri and her sexuality is the classic scene with her and the chocolate. Chocolate releases endorphins. Poor it over a hot bod. Hopefully, Colby is in her fantasies. I mentioned this casually in my Jerri 3.0 writeup, but her relationship with chocolate is one of my favorite side stories of Jerri because she mentions it consistently in all three seasons she appears. I don’t think it is overshadowed at all in Survivor, but with it appearing in the same episode as Trial by Fire, I do think its placement gets forgotten. She’s on the beach, lying next to a log (wait that’s AMBER?!?) and discussing just so blatantly how chocolate is an aphrodisiac near Colby, whom she admits pretty firmly that she is fantasizing about in her daydreams. Yes, we get the Hershey Bar scene here, but Jerri destroys this scene with how classic she is, just because it was so unique and different to hear a woman like her so blatantly talk about sex in that manner. Like for 2001, that’s SHOCKING. But it is reality, and I think Jerri being the leader in that role is pretty incredible.
But, silly goofy gender roles come into play, and it causes a riff between the tribe because it does make the rest of the tribe uncomfortable. Again, I will go into this more detail down below, but Colby and Tina don’t like how open she is about how she wants it, and I think that is really important contextualization for the tribe because they are a bunch of conservatives on the tribe. They don’t need to hear that, and Jerri, someone they’ve already had issues with, is already annoying as is, and this just adds insult to energy.
But as they progress, we see their relationship continue to tumble down a hill, picking up speed as it rolls down faster and faster. Colby is getting irritated with Jerri at this point, and I think Tina is involved a lot in this position on the season. As I mentioned earlier, Colby is a total mama’s boy, and that is immediately confirmed when his mom comes strolling out on the island after he wins one of his ten million challenges. We question his motives throughout the season, but I think Tina clocked Colby immediately for being someone who respects elders in his life, and her power of acting as a motherly figure for his character begins the general dislike for Jerri because at first they did get along and created an alliance. But they continue to struggle, and whether it is Colby throwing the water at Jerri during the challenge, or his general apathy as the game progresses and lack of interest, their relationship is going down, and a lot of it is due to Tina and her negative attitude toward Jerri and her character.
Their awkwardness of their, for a lack of a better word, “situationship”, culminates into the classic honeymoon scene, as they go to the reefs and slowly ruin a national landmark in Australia (lol). They lounge on the chairs out there, but Colby first issues a rule with Jerri - no one is allowed to talk about strategy out on the reward. This is a time to relax, and he simply has no desire to hear it. It was hilarious how differently the two were on different pages, with Colby not giving any fucks about Jerri (he dragged her along the challenge but did not want to win), while Jerri somehow fell more in love on her honeymoon without sex. The dichotomy of their games, with Colby playing a better social game, but not so much one with game awareness, while Jerri having the exact opposite, became quite clear here.
Jerri’s ultimate lack of understanding of how to use her strategy, and the divide of her negative attitude, something that is very difficult to change at the end of the day, creates a varied strategy that ultimately fails on cylinders. But the more important part is how a woman who has these feelings, basically being a love-sick puppy, gets ostracized by the entire country of America for her behavior. I think the perception of Jerri and her seductive nature is probably the most interesting about her character because it is highly lauded in seasons now, but when it happened then, she was the equivalent of the devil. It represents the double standards of women on Survivor because god forbid a woman shows that she has a strong sexuality. I love how Jerri embraced it, and while she did have issues making it actually… work, it still created some interesting tension among the much more conservative tribe members of Kucha and Ogakor.
Ultimately, I think Jerri and Colby’s relationship ends with fire because he just straight up lies to her when he mentions who he is voting for her because she is so done with her attitude. Jerri isn’t shocked at tribal because early Survivor didn’t understand blindsides, so they likely told her beforehand, but I think you can see she is heartbroken by the decision because Jerri was a mouthy, but loyal soldier. Even at the end, I don’t think anyone expected Jerri’s game because she was trying to fish for answers with her jury questions, and I think there’s a certain tragedy that Jerri was playing a strategically forward game, but was ultimately ruined because of her boisterous personality.
And again, I’d be wrong not to mention the sheer strength of Jerri and Colby, and how their relationship progresses throughout the seasons. From this, we get legendary moments in All-Stars that give the season some semblance of watchability, which leads to an incredible three-season arc for the duo. I wouldn’t go into too much detail because this write-up is already getting to be way too long, but it is pretty great, and watching Jerri get the final word on Colby twice is great.
Part III: “She took the canoe!” - Jerri and The Themes of Australia
Lastly, Jerri symbolizes the themes I’ve talked about loving so much in Australian Outback - understanding what deserving means on the season, and how that turn has no relevance to the season. Once someone gets pegged as “undeserving” it is hard to fight against that reputation, even in a favorable way. The problem is that Jerri constantly gets dogpiled, to the point where she can never bounce back from what people thought of her with her initial perceptions.
Tina’s hatred of Jerri symbolizes that, as she was one of the leaders of the concept of good vs. evil. Throughout the premerge, Tina plays a hidden role, but eventually, we begin to understand the “good people” winning, or those who agree Tina initially perceives as those who are “good.” The entire perception comes from her. This means white people who don’t have an attitude problem. I think Australian Outback is beyond interesting because of that because it shows how the cast can change what people describe as deserving, and that it can be completely subjective depending on the season.
No one on Survivor is truly “deserving” to make it to the end or not. It’s almost entirely luck. But Australian Outback tries to establish that, which makes it unique against the other seasons of Survivor because deserving is never really as vocalized as it is in this season. Tina disguises what being “good” means, and it causes the endgame to work out the way it is. Jerri is only the first victim that Tina has with this march, but the good vs evil marking leads to an interesting dichotomy between the two groups.
Besides that, their relationship reconfirms gender roles of the season, with someone who lives in a more conservative setting, versus one who didn’t and has broader strokes of liberalism with it. Tina is very conservative in her roles in society, as we see with her judgments of Jerri all season, which is described as negative when Jerri begins to talk about sexuality. Of course, there's a right and wrong place to talk about it, and Jerri often did do it at the wrong times, but it clouded Tina’s mind to the point where she couldn’t change her mind.
The conceit of friendship and connections also comes into play with Jerri. Again, at Mad Dog’s tribal she accidentally leaks that friendships do exist on Survivor, and she has quite a few. This immediately paints a target on her back because she admits to having an alliance, but also likes other people more than others. It set off two people, with Tina who already began to dislike Jerri, but also Colby, who understood Jerri could be a loose cannon, and he didn’t like when people ostracized other people on the tribe. Jerri was considered rude in this situation, and this was yet another domino in Jerri’s villain arc.
No one is right or wrong in this situation because putting people into schemas is natural. I don’t want to make a moral judgment about this story, but ultimately, Tina’s story did boil down to her only supporting people who have her views. And I love it. But Jerri as the main villain, when in reality, she was just an outspoken woman on a tribe that has more conservative views is an incredible contrast with one another. I don’t want to make this section about Tina any longer than it should be the ranker will do a great job speaking about her, but Jerri as a concept was through Tina’s perception, and she ultimately became a scapegoat for the tribe person that they can pile on easily.
Whether Jerri deserved the vitriol is up for debate, but ultimately, it’s a reflection on society. Jerri was both right and wrong with her accusations, and most of the time, she was right with her perceptions. But once you get targeted for that negativity, it is hard to shake off what happens for the rest of the time. We naturally look for scapegoats, and when someone falls out of line, they get targeted next to society. Tina perfected this strategy to a T and deserved every penny. And Jerri? She was the first victim in that description.
It’s why Jerri’s common complaint about her game being “tame” in comparison is always a weird take to me. It’s not the point about Jerri. She’s a bitch, but it is not really because of her style of play or how she plays the game, it’s because of how people perceive her on the show. Symbolically, her role in Australian Outback represents such an important facet of society and how people can tend to pile on when first impressions are not met properly. She is supposed to be tame in comparison to the legendary characters because she is tame. She’s just extraordinarily bossy and clashes with other people. Ultimately, this is why I love Jerri. She goes against the grain and gets punished for it, when in reality, how much she deserves it is questionable, and should be up for debate.
Her downfall is legendary from two different angles. One is if you support Tina’s narrative of getting out the negativity on the season. The other is tragic when you understand that Jerri was ostracized because of her personality, and given a chance to grow outside of it because the other tribe members were mum about their feelings. Having a character who has two completely different interpretations of how their boot occurred has a lot of implications for Jerri and showcases how stellar her character is. A lot of it is ambiguous, and while Tina’s side was much more supported in the narrative, I think both are valid takes to understand how Jerri went home.
Part IV: “I don’t know who I am out here” - Concluding Thoughts
Ultimately, as Jerri knows she is going home, she learns that she does not recognize herself out there on the island. And I believe that. Jerri becomes a mess after a while and a lot of factors could have led to that. Whether she does have a bossy personality, hunger on the island, being around people who don’t like her, or being in the same place constantly, could lead to why Jerri became Jerri on the island. But ultimately, it’s the symbolism that surrounds her boot. First impressions mean everything on Survivor, and sometimes you can go down a rabbit hole that evolves into whether someone on the series was deserving or not.
A good character for me is someone that you can spin easily. Spin their meaning into something that relates to society. And Jerri is probably the easiest character to do that for. She has so many implications about whether or not she is a villain, and how that can translate to the larger role of society. It’s a tragic blend of gender roles, personality clashes, good in society, and negativity overall and how that affects the mood. It leads to a beautiful blend of a character that is not only asking all these questions but incredibly entertaining to boot.
That’s something I’ve mostly been quiet about, but whenever Jerri has a personality clash, it’s almost gleeful to watch her be so blissfully unaware, with a top 5 laugh in reality TV (Cirie and Amy Crews from BB4 are also there). Jerri is someone who makes me consistently laugh because she is so detached at times from reality and truly doesn’t understand how these people feel about her. When she complains about tortillas, she is a magnetic narrator, and her annoyance is clear through her emotions. When she discusses sexuality, you can feel a certain emotion from her, as well as the mood shift around the camp. Ultimately, she is one of the most expressive, hilarious, funny narrators in the history of the show.
When she leaves, you can tell the magic nearly disappears because she is a queen of conflict and drives all of it on the season. Jerri was the life and soul of the season, and while Tina dominated the strategy, Jerri dominated the character. She is one of those few characters that makes characters better than they should be. I am so happy that she had the opportunity to make the endgame again, and I am even more overjoyed that I had the opportunity to talk about her in more detail.
Personal Rank: 6/821 <3.
SMC0629: 14
DryBonesKing: 8
Zanthosus: 10
Tommyroxs45: 14
Regnisyak1: 6
DavidW1208: 4
ninjedi1: 20
Average Placement: 10.857
Total Points: 76
Standard Deviation: 5.521 (10th Lowest)

A death and Netflix turned me into an Elvis fan.
Several months ago my wife lost a family member and took the kids back home for the funeral. I found myself alone which is a rarity in this house and needed to occupy some time. My go to on these occasions is usually watching "bad" sci fi movies. It's a bit of a comfort for me. So I got high and turn on Netflix. Before I could even browse around I was greeted by a large banner for the 2022 Elvis movie. I had never seen it, never saw a trailer for it, and read somewhere that it was maybe bad because it featured modern music like Eminem. I like Eminem so I thought fuck it, we're doing this!
I completely expected to not enjoy this, but something amazing happened. It really pulled me in and by the time Elvis got to Vegas I was having a serious moment over here. I don't even have words for Butters performance and the music started to resonate in ways that I haven't experienced since a teen in the 90s. I didn't think it was possible to experience that again later in life. For the first time ever I think I felt star stuck. I ended that night happy. I watched it again the next night, this time sober to see if it was as great as "stoned me" seemed to think it was. Astonishingly, it was even better and I ended up watching it 4 times that week in total. That's just not something I do., but it was better every single time.
This led me down a rabbit hole of listening to Elvis almost constantly. Since then it's basically been on repeat and it shocks me how many songs of his I had never even heard before. I grew up knowing the classics of course but they never really hit me for some reason. I've now found songs like That's alright Mama, In The Ghetto., and Long Black Limousine that I really love. His version of Unchained Melody is the best version of that song ever and 9 million people have done it. But my absolute favorite the last few months has been Suspicious Minds. My lord I cannot get that song out of my head. It's taken up permanent residence and I'm ok with that. Then today "If I can Dream" came on and oh my lord. I probably listened to it 8 times on the way to work. It's a damn shame that I wasn't aware of that song and the story as it relates to MLK. That is one powerful song. I came home and watched the 68 comeback special tonight just to see that one live. What an amazing concert! that was I've seen some of the Aloha from Hawaii and plan to watch it in its entirety soon.
So I'm hooked. I'm a fan. And I can't get over how long it took me to get here. It was just the right movie, with the right music, at the right time, and I am forever changed by it.

Nintendo Switch
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Death end re;Quest	New	41.97
Death's Door [Special Reserve]	New	33.03
Death's Gambit: Afterlife	New	38.72
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition]	New	25.25
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition]	New	25.25
Demon Turf	New	40.82
Demon's Tilt	New	44.5
Deponia Collection	New	83.14
Dex	New	48.38
Digimon Survive	New	20.95
Dimension Drive [Limited Edition]	New	65.48
DioField Chronicle	CIB+	25.46
Disaster Report 4: Summer Memories	CIB+	25.5
Disgaea 5 Complete	New	39.5
Disney Classic Games: Aladdin and the Lion King	New	18.29
Disney Tsum Tsum Festival	New	26.55
DoDonPachi Resurrection	New	55.38
Dodgeball Academia	New	19.5
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!	New	20.00
Doom 64	New	45.45
Double Dragon & Kunio-Kun Retro Brawler Bundle	New	52.83
Double Dragon IV	New	33.97
Double Dragon: Neon	New	50.49
Double Switch: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	55.89
Downwell [Special Reserve Edition]	New	60.00
Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot + A	New	Power Awakens Set Used 25.00
Dragon Quest Treasures	New	29.53
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition	New	40.00
Dragon Star Varnir	New	45.49
Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen	CIB+	24.74
Dragon's Lair Trilogy	New	144.25
Dreamscaper	New	44.72
Dusk	New	44.49
Eastward	CIB+	20.3
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim	CIB+	35.31
Eldest Souls	New	45.5
Elliot Quest	New	28.48
Enclave HD	New	52.67
Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights	New	55.00
Endling - Extinction is Forever	New	25.76
Epic Chef	New	15.57
Espgaluda II	New	60.27
FAR: Lone Sails	New	49.69
FINAL FANTASY VII & VIII REMASTERED TWIN PACK	CIB+	37.63
Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force	New	48.41
Falconeer: Warrior Edition	New	18.88
Fast RMX	New	71.73
Fatal Twelve	New	44.49
Fault Milestone One	New	28.49
Fight'N Rage	New	45.49
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age	New	31.61
Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes	New	20.17
Flinthook	New	45.49
Flipping Death	CIB+	28.39
Foretales	New	19.29
Forgotton Anne	CIB+	35.49
Fran Bow	New	111.48
Freedom Finger	CIB+	77.4
Freedom Planet	New	57.39
Friends Of Ringo Ishikawa	New	26.73
Furi	CIB+	48.64
Gal Metal: World Tour Edition	CIB+	17.69
Gato Roboto [Special Reserve Edition]	New	40.00
Ghost 1.0 + Unepic Collection: Standard Edition	New	30.00
Ghost of a Tale	New	66.61
Going Under	New	37.47
Golf Story	New	82.75
Gotta Protectors: Cart of Darkness	New	45.35
Grandia HD Collection	New	82.51
Great Ace Attorney Chronicles	CIB+	30.98
GrimGrimoire OnceMore [Deluxe Edition]	New	42.33
Gunbrick: Reloaded	New	24.68
Gunlord X	New	90.00
Guns, Gore & Cannoli 1 & 2	New	140.00
Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX	New	84.5
Gyakuten Saiban 123: Naruhodo Selection	New	41.49
Hades	New	39.19
Haven	New	45.49
Heaven's Vault	New	32.15
Hero Must Die. Again	New	56.5
Heroland Knowble Edition	New	18.63
Hollow Knight	CIB+	31.5
Horgihugh and Friends	New	28.18
Hot Wheels Unleashed	New	22.03
Hotline Miami Collection [Special Reserve]	New	40.00
ITTA [Steelbook Edition]	New	50.00
ITTA	CIB+	35.00
Ib	New	55.46
Ikenfell	New	42.56
Immortals Fenyx Rising	New	15.22
In Sound Mind: Deluxe Edition	New	21.81
Indivisible	New	19.41
Infernax	New	50.5
Inscryption [Special Reserve]	New	200.00
Ion Fury	New	35.35
Ittle Dew 2+	New	43.45
Jamestown+	New	50.98
Joe Dever's Lone Wolf	New	65.54
Katamari Damacy REROLL	New	23.45
Katanakami	New	42.3
Kaze and the Wild Masks	New	32.44
KeyWe	New	25.49
Killer Queen Black	New	16.13
King's Bounty II	New	17.85
Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory	New	20.59
Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning	CIB+	19.98
Knights and Bikes	New	45.49
Kotodama: The 7 Mysteries of Fujisawa	New	19.45
L.A. Noire	CIB+	29.99
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga	New	20.48
LUNARK	New	49.52
Lair of the Clockwork God	New	39.13
Layers of Fear: Legacy	New	147.86
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III - Extracurricular Edition	CIB+	31.77
Legend of Tianding	New	45.00
Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom	New	47.46
Letter: A Horror Visual Novel [Limited Edition]	New	73.75
Little Golf Journey	New	29.62
Little Nightmares II	CIB+	20.75
Lonely Mountains: Downhill SRG#46	New	86.79
Loop Hero [Collectors Edition]	New	40.00
Loop Hero	CIB+	25.00
Love Esquire [Limited Edition]	New	90.5
LoveKami Trilogy	New	35.00
Lumines Remastered	New	32.5
MONARK Deluxe Edition	New	37
Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope	CIB+	15.42
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order		30.00
Mato Anomalies	New	19.73
Mega Man 11	New	20.48
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection	CIB+	24.5
Megadimension Neptunia VII	New	45.5
Mighty Gunvolt Burst	New	44.45
Mighty Switch Force! Collection	CIB+	45.49
Ministry of Broadcast	New	26.72
Minoria	New	50.47
Miracle Snack Shop [Limited Edition]	New	35.00
Missing	CIB+	35.5
Moero Chronicle Hyper	New	90.35
Moero Crystal H	New	50.77
Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight	New	71.68
Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate	New	42.69
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin	New	31.49
Monster Sanctuary	New	58.46
Monstrum	New	38.5
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve]	New	45.00
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve]	New	45.00
Ms. Splosion Man	CIB+	31.98
Mulaka	New	60.00
Mummy Demastered	New	57.71
Murder By Numbers Collectors Edition	New	80.36
Mushihimesama	New	60.7
My Friend Pedro [Special Reserve Edition]	New	45.00
NEO: The World Ends With You	CIB+	20.5
Narita Boy	New	45.55
NeoGeo Pocket Color Selection Vol. 1	New	43.06
Neon Abyss	New	42.38
Neversong & Pinstripe	CIB+	37.5
New Super Lucky's Tale	New	33.59
New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe	New	39.5
Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch	New	26.5
NieR: Automata - The End of YoRHa Edition	New	39.5
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	56.06
Night in the Woods	New	59.92
Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection	New	50.42
No Man's Sky	CIB+	26.25
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle	CIB+	35.92
No More Heroes III	CIB+	15.5
No More Heroes	CIB+	40.5
Ocean's Heart	New	53.33
Octahedron	New	45.43
Octopath Traveler II	New	39.99
Octopath Traveler	New	52.43
Oddworld - Collection	New	36.25
Okami HD	New	32.99
One Step From Eden	New	34.15
Oniken + Odallus Collection	New	36.51
Opus Collection	CIB+	22.49
Ori: The Collection	New	28.97
Othercide	New	32.45
Outlast: Bundle of Terror / Outlast 2	CIB+	250.00
Overlord: Escape from Nazarick	New	35.97
Owlboy	CIB+	16.48
Oxenfree	New	99.53
Panzer Dragoon	New	40.5
Panzer Paladin	New	48.13
Pathway	New	27.6
Phoenotopia: Awakening [Premium Edition]	New	114.25
Pikmin 3 Deluxe	CIB+	35.00
Pikmin 4	New	42.79
Piofiore: Fated Memories	New	27.95
PixelJunk Eden 2	New	25.49
Pocky & Rocky Reshrined	New	25.49
Pokemon Legends: Arceus	New	41.19
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX	CIB+	40.5
Pokemon Sword	CIB+	30.26
Pokemon Violet	New	44.5
Postal Redux	New	25.5
PowerSlave: Exhumed	New	55.00
Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 2 [Deluxe Edition]	New	43.99
Prodeus	New	40.67
Project Warlock	New	67.14
Puyo Puyo Tetris	New	17.5
Q.U.B.E. 2	New	51.32
Quake	New	38.49
RED STRINGS CLUB [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	38.5
RUINER [SWITCH RESERVE]	New	45.00
Radiant Silvergun	New	58.09
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan	New	23.82
Razion EX	New	90.00
Red Lantern	New	58.5
Republique: Anniversary Edition	New	35.49
Return of the Obra Dinn	New	58.18
Return to Monkey Island	CIB+	43.09
Return to Shironagasu Island	CIB+	28.5
Risk of Rain 2	New	14.7
River City Girls 2	New	50.5
River City Girls Zero	New	44.49
River City Girls [PAX Variant]	New	142.6
River City Girls	CIB+	80.23
River City: Rival Showdown	New	30.49
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos	CIB+	30.00
Roki	CIB+	30.00
Rolling Sky Collection	CIB+	20.00
Root Film	New	34.09
Rune Factory 3 Special	New	23.41
Rune Factory 3 Special	New	23.41
Rune Factory 4 Special [Archival Edition]	New	90.00
SENSEs: Midnight [Limited Edition]	New	47.43
SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy	New	29.15
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin	New	27.5
Sally Face [Deluxe Edition]	New	224.81
Sam & Max Save the World	New	43.5
Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space Remastered	New	44
Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time	New	70.48
Save me Mr Tako: Definitive Edition	New	33.5
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game - Complete Edition	New	32.49
Sea Horizon [Limited Edition]	New	42.49
Sea of Solitude: The Director's Cut	New	20.00
SeaBed [Limited Edition]	New	135.38
Seabed	New	40.42
Senran Kagura Reflexions	New	129.74
Senren * Banka	New	70.00
Serious Sam Collection [Switch Reserve]	New	50.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Seven Pirates H	New	30.00
Shadow Man Remastered	New	48.39
Shadowgate	New	62.5
Shadowrun Trilogy	New	45.00
Shadows of Adam	New	34.49
Shadowverse: Champion's Battle	New	21.95
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	Box	49.62
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	New	381.21
Shantae and the Seven Sirens	New	50.2
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero [Ultimate Edition]	New	38.2
Shantae: Risky's Revenge	New	38.51
Shantae	New	39.34
Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn	New	19.57
Shikhondo: Soul Eater	New	34.44
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne HD Remaster	New	25.5
Shin Megami Tensei V	New	22.38
Shin Megami Tensei V	New	22.38
Shining Resonance Refrain [Draconic Launch Edition]	New	48.6
Silver Case 2425 Deluxe Edition		25.00
Sine Mora EX	New	23.02
Skelattack	New	45.00
Slime-san	New	43.74
Smile For Me	New	30.00
Sol Cresta: Dramatic Edition	New	45.48
Sonic Colors Ultimate	CIB+	15.48
Sonic Frontiers	CIB+	21.62
Sonic Mania	New	16.51
Spiritfarer	New	28.95
Splatoon 2	CIB+	19.67
Splatoon 3	New	43.99
Star Wars Pinball	New	19.72
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords	New	59.79
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords	New	59.79
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic	New	60.49
Star Wars: Republic Commando	New	26.45
Steel Assault	New	48
Streets of Rage 4	New	33.45
Strife: Veteran Edition	New	30.00
Subnautica + Subnautica: Below Zero	New	32.49
Super Blood Hockey	New	60.96
Super Bomberman R	New	20.42
Super Mario Maker 2	CIB+	30.48
Super Meat Boy Forever	New	25.98
Super Meat Boy	New	38.5
Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania	New	13.48
Supraland	New	33.75
Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido	New	12.17
Taiko no Tatsujin Rhythm Festival	New	15.5
Tails of Iron [Crimson Knight Edition]	New	42.89
TakeOver	New	47.41
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition	New	30.41
Talos Principle	New	40.00
Tandem: A Tale of Shadows	New	20.48
Terraria	New	24.66
The Messenger [Special Reserve Games Edition]	New	280.00
There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension	New	53.51
Thumper	New	45.45
Time on Frog Island	CIB+	17.43
Timespinner [Limited Run]	CIB+	77.28
Tiny Barbarian DX	New	33.97
To The Moon	New	67.98
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove!	CIB+	49.86
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore	New	66.72
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore	New	66.72
Touryst	New	60.00
TowerFall	New	45.5
Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes	CIB+	24.99
Treasures Of The Aegean	New	17.98
Trigger Witch - Limited Edition	New	57.66
Trigger Witch	New	34.59
Trover Saves the Universe	New	37.76
Turok / Turok 2: Seeds of Evil	New	167.4
Twin Blades of the Three Kingdoms	New	30.00
Two Point Hospital	New	26.5
UnderMine	New	51.08
Unravel Two	CIB+	18.35
Unreal Life	New	39.15
Unsighted	New	47.2
Untitled Goose Game	New	22.45
Valfaris	New	39.64
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection II	New	50.5
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection	New	70.61
Valkyria Chronicles 4	New	66.81
Very Very Valet	New	17.77
Wandersong	CIB+	33.99
Warborn	New	16.6
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus	CIB+	21
WarioWare: Get it Together!	CIB+	24.55
West of Dead	New	39.1
Wizard of Legend	New	55.00
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap	New	39.14
Wonderful 101: Remastered	New	23.5
World Ends with You: Final Remix	New	53.95
World Of Simulators	New	45
Wreckfest	New	25.5
Wulverblade	New	68.83
Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna the Golden Country		45
Xenoblade Chronicles 2		42.6
Xtreme Sports	New	50.5
Yoku's Island Express	CIB+	35.5
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair	New	35.5
Young Souls	New	34.49
Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution	CIB+	17.69
Yuppie Psycho: Executive Edition (Elite Edition)	New	45.49
Yurukill: The Calumniation Games (Deluxe Edition)	New	20.73
Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Ghoul Patrol	New	40.09
realMyst: Masterpiece Edition	New	78.08

PS2
Armored Core Nexus	CIB	105.33

PS4
88 Antarctica	New	45.00
Antartica 88 [Variant Cover]	New	185.5
Deadpool	CIB+	76.33
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Death Park	New	45
Digimon Survive	New	16.55
Divinity: Original Sin II - Definitive Edition	New	71
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!	New	21.17
Helldivers [Super-Earth Ultimate Edition]	CIB+	45.00
Minecraft: Story Mode - A Telltale Games Series - The Complete Adventure	CIB+	58.41
Outriders: Worldslayer	New	18.48
Revenge of The Bird King	New	31.99
Saints Row: The Third Remastered	New	15.1
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [At the Seams Edition]	New	60.49
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [Tailor Made Edition]	New	47.99
Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash (No Shirt, No Shoes, All Service Edition)	New	71.5
Shadow Warrior 2 [Special Reserve Edition]	New	235.52
Super Perils of Baking Special Edition [SEGA Outerbox]	New	120.00
Swords of Ditto: Mormo's Curse [Special Reserve Edition]	New	40.00
Tamashii	New	450.00
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan	CIB+	40.00
Valkyria Chronicles Remastered Steelbook Edition	New	30.45

VITA
2064: Read Only Memories	New	67.97
88 Heroes	New	40.6
99Vidas	New	125.97
Aegis of Earth: Protonovus Assault	New	26.49
Akiba's Beat	New	30.25
Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed	CIB+	25.49
Alone With You	New	38.5
Amazing Spider-Man	CIB+	64.75
Amazing Spider-Man	CIB+	64.75
Angry Birds Star Wars	New	20.48
Another World: 20th Anniversary Edition	New	40.49
Antiquia Lost	New	34.75
Aqua Kitty: Milk Mine Defender DX	New	51.5
Army Corps of Hell	New	23.99
Asdivine Hearts	New	35.46
Astro Aqua Kitty [Limited Edition]	New	64.7
Atari Flashback Classics	New	60.61
Atelier Escha & Logy Plus: Alchemists of the Dusk Sky (Limited Edition)	New	168.49
Awesome Pea Collection [Limited Edition]	CIB+	40.1
Axiom Verge Multiverse Edition	New	56.56
Back in 1995 [Limited Edition]	New	191.4
Bard's Gold	New	33
Bard's Tale: Remastered and Resnarkled	New	50.49
Bastion	New	64.16
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate	CIB+	23.67
Bit.Trip Limited Edition	New	33.5
Bit.Trip Presents...Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien	New	33.49
Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon	New	118.23
Borderlands 2	CIB+	23.49
Breach & Clear	New	308.01
Broken Age	New	33.77
Bunny Must Die: Chelsea and the 7 Devils	New	95
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified	CIB+	22.29
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified		18.98
Chaos;Child	New	45.61
Chasm	CIB+	60.49
Child of Light	CIB+	24.56
Claire: Extended Cut	CIB+	35.17
Code:Realize - Future Blessings		14.9
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth	New	25.5
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth		14.2
Conga Master Go! [Limited Edition]	New	51.83
Corpse Party: Blood Drive	New	58.77
Cosmic Star Heroine	CIB+	43.25
Count Lucanor [Signature Edition]	New	144.47
Criminal Girls 2: Party Favors	CIB+	74.09
Criminal Girls: Invite Only	CIB+	54.49
Croixleur Sigma	New	40.49
Cursed Castilla EX [Limited Edition]	New	60.5
Curses 'N Chaos	New	38.72
Damascus Gear: Operation Osaka	New	40.51
Damascus Gear: Operation Tokyo	New	41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair		19.41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair		19.41
Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls	New	31.5
Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony	CIB+	58.89
Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc	CIB+	25.97
Dariusburst: Chronicle Saviours	New	47.38
Deadbolt	New	42.44
Death Mark	CIB+	23.22
Death Tales [Limited Edition]	New	40.4
Deemo: The Last Recital	New	34.22
Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten	New	37.86
Demon Gaze II	New	74.66
Demon Gaze	CIB+	25.81
Demon Gaze		22.22
Demon's Tier+ [Limited Edition]	CIB+	55.49
Dengeki Bunko: Fighting Climax	CIB+	25.5
Devious Dungeon - Limited Edition	CIB+	67.38
Devious Dungeon 2 [Limited Edition]	New	84.5
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth	CIB+	65.9
Disgaea 4: A Promise Revisited	CIB+	25.49
Dokuro	New	52.94
Dragon Fantasy: The Black Tome of Ice	New	34.5
Dragon Fantasy: The Volumes of Westeria	New	40.49
Dragon Sinker: Descendants of Legend	New	35.5
Dungeon Travelers 2: The Royal Library & The Monster Seal	CIB+	53
Dynasty Warriors: Next		16.66
EMMA: Lost in Memories [Limited Edition]	New	52.49
Earth Defense Force 2: Invaders from Planet Space	New	28.19
Exile's End	New	39.65
Exist Archive: The Other Side of The Sky		18.48
Fate/Extella: The Umbral Star Noble Phantasm Edition	New	46.26
Fernz Gate	New	30.69
Final Fantasy X / X-2 HD Remaster		25.49
Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster	New	61.19
Forma.8	New	32.5
Freedom Wars	CIB+	13.48
Furwind [Limited Edition]	CIB+	40.5
Futuridium EP Deluxe	New	45.97
Gal*Gun: Double Peace	CIB+	32.34
Ghoulboy [Limited Edition]	New	160.5
God of War Collection	New	74.75
Grand Kingdom	New	47.6
Gravity Rush	CIB+	44.5
Guard Duty [Limited Edition]	CIB+	47.38
Gundemoniums	New	84.18
Gunhouse	New	30.38
Habroxia 2 [Limited Edition]	New	65.5
Habroxia	New	129.94
Halloween Forever [Limited Edition]	New	74.5
Hole	New	World
Home: A Unique Horror Adventure	New	35.92
Horizon Chase Turbo [Limited Edition]	New	76.81
Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational	New	26.19
Hotaru no Nikki - The Firefly Diary: Limited Edition	New	59.25
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition	CIB+	99.5
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition	M+B	40.1
Hue	New	40.5
Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart	CIB+	35.5
Hyperdimension Neptunia PP: Producing Perfection	CIB+	35.97
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1	CIB+	47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1	CIB+	47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation	CIB+	60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation	CIB+	60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation	CIB+	55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation	CIB+	55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed	CIB+	43.81
Iconoclasts	New	96.5
Indigo 7 : Quest for Love	New	?
Jak and Daxter Collection	CIB+	50.49
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Just Ignore them + My Big Sister Collection	New	60.49
Kawaii Deathu Desu	New	45.5
Killzone: Mercenary	CIB+	32.68
Killzone: Mercenary		24.49
King of Fighters '97: Global Match	New	64.81
Knightin' + [Limited Edition]	New	60.45
Knytt Underground	New	128.14
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes		11.33
LEGO Jurassic World	CIB+	13.44
LEGO Ninjago: Shadow of Ronin		17.12
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens	New	28.75
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens		12.21
LEGO The Lord of the Rings		10.49
La-Mulana Ex	New	38.03
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel (Lionheart Limited Edition)	New	72.39
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel II	CIB+	57.82
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel	CIB+	36.49
Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut	New	42.49
Longest Five Minutes	New	32.5
Lost Child	New	56.03
Lost Cube [Limited Edition]	New	50.49
Luckslinger [Limited Edition]	New	60.41
Lumines: Electronic Symphony	New	18.61
MUSYNX	New	50.49
Mary Skelter: Nightmares	CIB+	92.87
MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies	New	37.58
MeiQ: Labyrinth of Death	CIB+	25.39
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition [Limited Edition]	New	106.71
Metagal [Limited Edition]	CIB+	100.35
Metal Gear Solid HD Collection	CIB+	46.49
Metal Slug 3	New	115.48
Mind Zero	CIB+	20.48
Mooseman [Limited Edition]	New	119.05
Mortal Kombat	CIB+	26.99
MotoGP 13	CIB+	23.83
Muv-Luv Alternative	New	66.95
Muv-Luv Complete Set	New	90.5
Muv-Luv	New	53.36
My Aunt is a Witch [Limited Edition]	New	55.5
Mystery Chronicle: One Way Heroics	New	27.94
Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game	CIB+	20.32
Neurovoider	New	35.5
Nicole [Limited Edition]	New	48.22
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition	New	58.99
Nova-111	New	28.67
Nurse Love Addiction	New	59.18
Nurse Love Syndrome	New	50.49
Nurse Love Syndrome		15.49
Oceanhorn: Monster of Uncharted Seas	New	52
Octodad: Dadliest Catch	New	46.36
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee -	New	'n' Tasty
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee HD	New	52.5
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath HD	New	69.73
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir	CIB+	72.45
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir		70.5
One More Dungeon	CIB+	60
Operation Abyss:	New	Tokyo Legacy
Oreshika: Tainted Bloodlines	New	93
Papers, Please	New	115.47
Pato Box [Limited Edition]	New	73.23
Penny-Punching Princess	New	45.41
Period: Cube - Shackles of Amadeus	New	54.65
Persona 4 Golden	New	61.12
Persona 4 Golden		25.37
Persona 4: Dancing All Night - Disco Fever Edition	New	145.5
Phantom Breaker: Battle Grounds	New	53.5
Pix the Cat	New	28.84
Plague Road	New	43.4
PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale	New	31.74
Proteus	New	36.49
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk	New	51.5
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk	New	51.5
Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly	CIB+	33.57
Pushy and Pully in Block Land	New	70.45
Rabi-Ribi	New	93.59
Rainbow Moon	New	44.89
Ratchet and Clank Trilogy	CIB+	72.77
Ray Gigant	New	102.84
Rayman Legends		17.37
Rayman Origins	CIB+	16.71
Retro City Rampage DX [Re-Release]	New	35.00
Revenant Dogma	New	35.36
Revenant Saga	New	29.44
Reverie [Limited Edition]	CIB+	43.49
Riddled Corpses EX	New	40.49
Risk of Rain	New	38
Rock Boshers DX	New	29.34
Rocketbirds 2: Evolution	New	55.5
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken	New	43.2
Root Double [Xtend Edition]	New	53.5
Root Letter	New	46.11
Rose in the Twilight	New	192
SUPERBEAT: XONiC	New	28.49
Salt and Sanctuary	New	100.49
Salt and Sanctuary	New	100.49
Saturday Morning RPG	New	50.49
Sayonara Umihara Kawase++	New	67.33
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition]	New	59.97
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition]	New	59.97
Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: Let's Get Physical Edition	New	115.5
Senran Kagura: Bon Appetit! Full Course - Collector's Edition	New	185.13
Senran Kagura: Bon Appetit!	New	150.44
Senran Kagura: Estival Versus Endless Summer Edition	New	115.48
Sense: A Cyberpunk Ghost Story	New	155.5
Severed [Limited Edition]	New	100.81
Shakedown: Hawaii	CIB+	36.85
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero	CIB+	37.5
Shinobido 2: Revenge of Zen	CIB+	38.67
Shovel Knight	New	96.49
Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution 2+	CIB+	76.26
Silent Hill: Book of Memories	CIB+	76.38
Sir Eatsalot [Limited Edition]	CIB+	53.08
Siralim 2	New	30.49
Siralim	New	50.5
Skullgirls: 2nd Encore	New	52.81
Sky Force Anniversary	New	75.48
Slain: Back From Hell [Signature Edition]	New	150.65
Sly Cooper Collection	CIB+	52.27
Smart as...	CIB+	9.67
Soldner-X 2: Final Prototype	New	44.12
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed	CIB+	23.56
Sorcery Saga: Curse of the Great Curry God [Limited edition]	New	80.5
Soul Sacrifice Delta	New	105.5
Soul Sacrifice	CIB+	17.36
Spelunky	New	70.5
Spy Hunter	CIB+	24.31
Stay [Limited Edition]	New	130.5
Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark (Ultimate Edition)	New	29.13
SteamWorld Dig	New	55.72
SteamWorld Heist	New	52.97
Steins;Gate 0	CIB+	29.49
Steins;Gate	CIB+	30.58
Stranger of sword city limited edition	New	63.57
Super Hydorah	New	47.9
Super Meat Boy	New	60.5
Super Mutant Alien Assault	New	34.9
Super Skull Smash GO! 2 Turbo	New	42.35
Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls	New	58.5
Swapper	New	51.48
Swindle	New	27.51
Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment	New	65.48
Synergia [Limited Edition]	New	110.49
Tachyon Project Limited Edition	New	55.35
Takotan [Limited Edition]	New	51.59
Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack	New	50.24
Tales of Hearts R	CIB+	69.48
Tales of Hearts R		50.5
Task Force Kampas	New	36.5
Tetris Ultimate	New	70.47
Tetris Ultimate	New	70.47
Thomas Was Alone	New	33.5
Tokyo Xanadu	New	49.32
Touch My Katamari	CIB+	33.72
Twin Breaker: A Sacred Symbols Adventure [Limited Edition]	CIB+	47.09
Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3	CIB+	31.21
UnMetal	New	163.32
Uncharted: Golden Abyss	CIB+	27.23
Uncharted: Golden Abyss	CIB+	27.23
Undertale	New	66.38
Unepic [Limited Edition]	New	274.98
Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception	New	72.27
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition	New	36.5
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition	New	36.5
VA-11 Hall-A	New	79.91
Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkhuni	CIB+	66.81
Vasara Collection	New	98.5
Velocity 2X: Critical Mass Edition	New	63.05
Volume	New	32.25
Walking Dead: Season Two - A Telltale Games Series	New	22.61
Windjammers	New	35.83
Winter's Daydream [Limited Edition]	New	64.1
Wipeout 2048	New	31.24
World of Final Fantasy	New	33.99
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition]	New	100.5
Xenon Valkyrie+	New	68.11
Xeodrifter	New	44.2
Yomawari: Midnight Shadows	CIB+	33.71
Yomawari: Night Alone / htol#NiQ: The Firefly Diary	CIB+	40.5
Ys Origin	New	56.4
Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA	New	72.34
Ys: Memories of Celceta	CIB+	25.99
Yumeutsutsu Re:After [Limited Edition]	New	82.97
Yumeutsutsu Re:Master [Limited Edition]	New	75.48
Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward	CIB+	15.5
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma	New	33.17
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma		24.51

3DS
Aliens: Infestation		45.00
Minecraft: New Nintendo 3DS Edition	New	34.72
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition)	New	70.5
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition)	New	70.5
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition]	New	89.39
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition]	New	89.39

So I'm just here too vent I don't know where to start but I'll start at the beginning so some backstory, I grew up in a traditional household as in I was fending for myself from the age of 14 by that I mean that once I turned 14 I cooked my own meals I did my own laundry I cleaned my own room I did my own jobs where I got paid money for things Such as babysitting house cleaning and sitting. Also I feel like I should mention that I grew up in a sixth generational military household where we were Raised under strict discipline We were also raised to have strong moral values as in do not do anything illegal and be an upstanding citizen you see something wrong report it. So to the meat and potatoes of why I want to vent so For this we need to go back 12 years ago so I just graduated high school I decided I want to start dating so I ended up meeting the person who would become my life partner when I first met him and we were on our first date I specifically told him that if we are going to be serious there's a game changer or end of game for me would be If he Or any of his friends or family members Had a criminal record that it would be game over "sorry thanks for playing tell him what he has won Charlie". He very plainly told me that no everyone and his family and his life are good people. So I give him a chance and we ended up dating for 2 years. Eventually I ended up getting stationed far away and I asked him if he would like to move in with me and he said yes. After a short while of us living together we ended up getting pregnant with our daughter and then he wanted me to meet his parents. side note The reason why I haven't met his parents up until this point is because I was a strong believer in not meeting the in-laws until marriage was either on the table or at least in talks but I did not want to meet them unless I and he was absolutely sure that we wanted to take that step. So we eventually went to go meet his parents and siblings and his siblings kid and everything went well it was a very lovely meeting and there was nothing to complain about nothing out of the ordinary. It eventually got to the point where every weekend we would be going to his parents house and the rest of the pregnancy went by swimmingling no problems whatsoever. Eventually my daughter came into the world during the summer and she was full term healthy happy baby. After 2 months of recuperating from giving birth we went to go visit his family let them see their granddaughter, niece, cousin. When we arrived at my in-law's house his cousin was there just chillin sitting on the couch. My partner said "cousin you're out of juvee that's amazing I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon" Safe to say my eyes widen when I heard my partner say this because I flashback to when we first met and I specifically asked him if he had any family members or Or friends who Who had a criminal record. I pulled him to our room that we had aside at the In-law's house and hushley yelled at him saying that he had told me that he had no family members are friends with criminal records he very nonchalantly Said "oh cousin doesn't have a criminal record it was expunged when he turned 18" 🚩#1: I don't know about everyone else but this was a red flag when I first heard it cause he basically got me on a technicality But I still felt betrayed because his cousin was in juvee for a pretty bad crime.( Not gonna mention here but it will come into light later in the story.) I let it go for the moment And enjoyed the rest of my weekend unfortunately though I had left my ipod In my room cause I was told it would be safe there because I was also told that I should make my partner's room feel more homey to me. But when I had came back the following weekend to get my ipod it was not where I had left it I ended up tearing apart the room looking for it because it had sentimental value to me due to irreplaceable photos videos from high school of friends, friends who are no longer with us, events that I held dear from high school Especially all the events that come with senior year of high school. I asked all the family who were living in the house at the time if any of them had been in partner's room or Or borrowed my ipod and everyone said no everyone said I don't know where it is. I then asked who has been in the house during the week since I was gone and mother-in-law said oh cousin was here because he was having trouble with his girlfriend. I went to partner and asked him to call cousin to see if he borrowed my ipod because if he did then I would like it back because I have I have irreplaceable photos on the ipod. 🚩#2: Partner said no cousin wouldn't never take anything from my room cousin's not like that you're crazy why you being so upset and crazy over a few photos and a ipod. Partner also mentioned that because of my view of His cousin that that's clouding my Vision of him so of course I would automatically assume he would take it granted I did not specify he stole it I said borrowed did not say stolen please refer to previously mentioned reason why this ipod was so important to me...partner knew of the sentimental value of the ipod also that I paid for it with my hard earned money, it was the first expensive thing I had ever brought. Anyways partner had me second-guessing myself so I eventually just let go the fact that my ipod was missing I did not bring it up I should have it would save me a lot of mental health in the future anyways flash forward to 2015 my contract With the military was up I decided not to reinlist. As a goodbye gift my master chief had given me a deer antler bullet Pen that he had made personally for me. At the behest of his parents me and partner and our daughter moved into his parents place I kept the pen in a pen holder On my desk in my room At this point in time I was always out of my room and out of the house looking for a job. I didnt really need one I was making and still am making plenty from the VA. I'm sure a lot of you I probably gonna say that when I had moved in I should learn my lesson with the ipod and had installed a lock on the door but my in-laws were strong believers in a no lock policy in the house of course I did not And still do not believe in that policy I like privacy I do not like the idea of someone just randomly barging into my Space at any given moment. So eventually one of my old navy buddies had came to visit me and wanted to see the pen that master chief had given me. We wanted to compare the ones that Master chief had given both of us Every pen he had made was always unique so we wanted to see the difference Between the 2. Low and behold my pen was missing and I was devastated. And true Rinse and repeat fashion. I asked all the family members who were living in the house at the time if anyone had been in my room and took a pen they all looked at me like I was crazy and said are you going to get upset over a pen missing now and I specified that that pen was basically a parting gift from my boss for For being in the military. 🚩#3:After I realized that I was not gonna get anywhere with asking the family, I voice my concerns and grievances to my partner he also made me feel like I was crazy because he stated that "it's just a pen get over it". Eventually I did manage to get a few jobs over the next few years up until 2019 when I eventually decide I want to better my education and go to college so from June till may of 2020 I was going to college.side note: From when we had moved in with his parents all the way till even today I have been doing 90% of the housework as in I cook, I clean, I do laundry all the while working 40+ hour weeks. All partner ever does is just go do work with his dad And come home to fresh clean clothes and towel fresh out of the dryer laid out in the bathroom and a hot meal waiting on the table as I'm sure you're getting from the tone of what I'm saying right now I think you know Where this whole thing is gonna go real soon. So while I'm going to school and doing all the housework taking care of our child. My partner would come home shower do all the normal stuff and then go to bed but then he wouldn't touch me or be intimate with me he would always say I'm tired I'm not in the mood I have a headache. Maybe you dont understand partner but I never pressed on him because I assume because of certain work stressors He must be having a tough week so I never pressed him to be intimate with me. Pass to around a few weeks before Halloween I was just randomly scrolling on his phone looking at Halloween costumes for our daughter cause she wanted a very specific costume and he had gotten a text message from someone labeled under a male name and they said something that was very alarming and I looked in the text against my better judgment And what it said was hey how about we have another car date. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so me in stealth mode I text it back saying what would you like to do during the car date and the person replied oh the same thing we do every time we go on a car date you me in the back seat and you pounding me like crazy. With you saying my name and me screaming yours. Safe to say I was sick to my stomach just from reading what the person had text I had screenshot the text and I had sent it to myself and then deleted the text that I had sent to myself from my partner's fault I then put the phone away and then partner went and got his phone and I could see his face turned pale white as he saw that the Text had been opened but he didn't make any mention even brought it up. After this I went into FBI mode and I would casually look at his phone whenever he was in the shower he would always leave it charging as soon as he got home from work and then any text messages that seemed kinda off I would screenshot them and I would look app the number at a later time and back track it via Google. The information you can find on Google is crazy to me thank God for google. I eventually would get the person he was sending messages 2 send pictures as proof that they were together And evidence was unmistakable the things that she had sent made my stomach turn lowkey I could hear just what the episode of SNAPPED would have said about me if I had listened to that inner voice. After getting plenty of proof of his infidelity I eventually confronted him And here's where red flag number 4 comes into play. 🚩#4: He stated that I had become distant from him that I was more concerned with our child and school then I was with him and then also another thing that was basically as he said the straw that broke the camel's back was that I had put on weight. at this point in time I was Only 50 pounds heavier than when I got out of the military. He also mentioned that I didn't make time for him anymore Which was far from the truth if anything I always tried to push to have time with him on his days off but he was always "with his friends" I later found out that he was with her. Another reason he had given was that our relationship had grown stale and cold and boring and he wanted something exciting and new. I gave him the ultimatum either he picks me and our daughter or he picks his side piece. And true kid mentality he said it wasn't fair because he loved both me and her and he couldn't pick and he had the nerve to come up with the idea that we do a sister wife/polygamy type of relationship. 🚩#5: He even went As far to say that we should do an open relationship but primarily one where he would be in a relationship with someone but I would have to be faithful to him.another side note:he's not morman or LDS or muslim Very nicely I state did that it would be a cold day in hell when any of those options would be even viable to me.* Again I grew up in a traditional household where monogamy is a necessity And I also made it very clear when we started dating that I was a monogamous person so how this even became an idea in his head I have no idea.* So he tells me once he sees that I am dead serious that he chooses me and our daughter and I stated good choice and I thought that was the end of it until December of that year when I had heard his phone go off while he was again in the bathroom and I went to look at it and it was her and she had stated that He had left his wallet at her place when When he had seen her last week. I was feeling mad and when he came to sit back down on the couch I threw his phone at him I Called him out for the sleazy dog that he wasAnd brought up other harsh words Regarding events that had happened in the past years Since we had moved in with his parents. 🚩#6:He stated that he hasn't seen her since I had given him the ultimatum and that she is just trying to get rise out of me because he had told her that I had found out about her. Of course I did not believe him so once he left for work the following day I checked his Google location for the day that she had mentioned that he had left his wallet and lo and behold he had been at her house during that week and then also later in the day after the text he had been at her house again this time he was at her house for the better part of 3 hours when he strictly told me that he was gonna be super busy and working with yard tools where he would not be able to hear his phone go Off whenever I text or call him. * Yes I can hear you all screaming at me that I should have left him when he first had the affair but I don't know maybe I had my daughter in my mind and didn't want her to grow up in a broken household or whatever may be the case but for some stupid God forsaken reason I gave him another chance And kept giving him chance after chance every time I saw he had gone to her house* Eventually he had grown tired of the girl and then he settled back into being monogamous again and everything for the most part especially after covid happened was quiet and calm but that's what I thought. Queue cousin entering from left stage. Cousin ended up staying with us during COVID because again he had a falling out with his girlfriend now baby mama And one particular day I came home from working limited hours due to covid and I see an iPod that looks eerily similar to the one I had. Curious I looked at the back and low and behold there was still a sticker residue from A sticker that had previous There. Fun fact about my ipod I had an anime sticker That I had personally designed. Again curiosity got the better be and I unlock the ipod and check the serial number in IMEI numbers and check the same Info on the product box that I had gotten my ipod in and lo and behold they matched perfectly to a T. Stupidly optimistic I was hoping someone had found it where it might have been misplaced and I was hoping that my photos and videos were still on the ipod. But as I'm sure you're probably already guessing it was wiped clean and it was nothing but photos of and you guessed it cousin and his baby mama and their baby. every video and pic that I had on my ipod from when I first bought it In freshman year of high school to when I had eventually had my daughter Was gone forever. Cousin came out of the bathroom and asked what I was doing with his ipod. I'm sure you know where this conversation is going so I'm not gonna repeat it but let's just say a few harsh things were said and he eventually felt guilty for not coming to me and asking if the ipod was mine. I obviously gave it back to him because it had no more sentimental value to me because all my stuff was deleted and it was basically his at this point. So later that night I again leaned on Partner's shoulder and Express my grievances and how I didn't appreciate that he gaslet me into thinking that his cousin wouldn't take something out of his room when in later years it is found out that he did in fact I asked for an apology on the matter and he stated... 🚩#7: Why are you upset over something that happened in the past and over photos that Aren't that important.* Our daughter's entire birth was on the ipod by the way Not to mention all my pregnancy bump milestone photos were there too.Also I have fertility issues and was told carry children would be difficult...I think they meant conceiving because like a unicorn no morning sickness or any of the negative things you hear that comes with pregnancy* Later in the year 2020 partner's brother ended up moving out and moving about 2 hours North of us With his girlfriend now wife. In the same fashion as us not too soon after they moved into their new place they found out they were expecting their first child together. The entire pregnancy went by just as smoothly as mine but around December, Brother-in-law and cousin decided to do cross-country trip this is all that they told us we thought they were crazy because His brother-in-law was expecting his first child and cousin was expecting his second child And the babies were going to be due any day at most within the coming weeks. Well surprise surprise we get a call from brother-in-law's frantic wife stating something happened to brother in law and cousin and that she couldn't talk about it over the phone. When she eventually arrived she was hysterical, Tears rolling down her face I actually felt A sense of concern and dread for what she was about to say to us. So long story short cousin and brother-in-law had been working for unfavorable people and transporting unfavorable items across state lines. sil and cousins baby mama knew what they were doing and would tag along, they "didn't care because the money and their lives were good" * Brother-in-law's ex then gf had previously told me that he was working for the same unfavorable people and when I brought it up to 🚩#8: partner he said x is crazy don't listen to Her. (He later told he and fam always knew what bil and cousin were doing just never brought it up because 'thats cousin and bils business to tell us'* Again due to COVID the court system was delayed and brother-in-law did not go to jail right away. While we were awaiting a sentencing Brother-in-law set all the family down and asked us to look over his wife and kids (yes kids plural he ended up having a second child while awaiting sentencing stupid I know.) The rest of the family said they would look out for Brother-in-law's family. But here's where I'm going to sound like an a****** but I very plainly and bluntly told him that I will not look after his family because I did not marry "wife" and I did not have "kids" I also stated that he knew that he was expecting a kid and he went to do a run even though his kid was due any day and I also mentioned that he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions. To make it short the family looked at me like I was the devil for saying this but I have made it clear of where I stand when it comes to criminals and doing illegal activities. I also have made it very clear how I feel criminals should pay for their actions. I know this will sound cheesy but if you cannot do the Time do not do the crime. In my eyes this was a textbook case of f*** around and find out. I do not feel like I should bend over backwards when I am taking care of my own family and my own problems and adding my brother-in-law's problems to my plate. Again this is where I might lose people but as I previously I grew up in a traditional household where we pull our weight and take care our ourselves. Sister-in-law is now living with us she does not have a job, she does not want a job, she does not pitch in for any expenses. I am paying over 70% of the household expenses water, gas, Wi-Fi etc. * Also after looking at the mortgage payment statements the rent I pay my in-laws to stay in the house pays for more than half of the mortgage.* Sister-in-law does not pitch in a dime. She has no disability she can work she just chooses not to. Well if you couldn't guess it the house was tense for the rest of the time that brother-in-law was in the house until he was eventually sentenced and put in jail. So since brother-in-law has been in jail I still stick to the hole I don't help sister-in-law with anything pertaining to her, I don't ask her for anything. She's been making it a habit of calling my partner and having him move my car from the spots that Im able to get in front of the house before she got into the spot to have him move the car for her because she doesn't want to walk far with The kids. This was usually how things were done until yesterday when sister-in-law was calling my partner to have him move my car and he wouldn't answer because he was asleep due to being sick. So In a begrudging fashion I assume this was for her she calls me to have me move my car, I told her I don't mind the car being moved but she would have to come get the keys to move it as I was currently busy rearranging my Space, And that I was trying to get everything i needed to get done before my day was over cause this was my only day off during the week, And in A spoiled sounding tone she says whatever Forget about it. Later in the day when my partner had woken up he Received a call from Sister-in-law stating that I was being difficult and wouldn't move the car From my spot.* I think it's fair to Mention that there are plenty of spots In front of our house but for some reason she always wants to park where I park. She never calls anyone else who's parked in front of the house ,if they're parked there, to move their cars only me or my Partner.) Also full circle, I was cleaning out our family's "junk cabinet" yesterday during my cleaning frenzy and found my deer pen it was in fils work bag, and yes its mine says my rank and full name on it.(trust me it'll come into play) So after the call with sister-in-law partner starts berating me Stating that I'm a part of this family and that I should be helping everyone out nevermind that I pay 70% expenses and more then half of mortgage,among other things. I told him very sternly that I had let her know that she could come and move the car herself but I was currently busy. I also stated that I told her when When brother-in-law asked us to help out with his family that I would not be doing any favors I will not be dropping things at the Whim of a hat for sister-in-law. I have my own things I need to do I can't just be stopping what I'm doing just to help her just cause it'll make it more convenient for her. I also stated during the convo with partner that there are plenty Of Mother's whose Partners are also in the prison system Who have multiple kids who are doing just fine by themselves. And that sister-in-law needs to women up And handle things on her own. I also stated that I did not tell her to have the kids That was all her choice. I also stated that I have never asked or received help for anything during my time with him and his family. I've been a very self-sufficient independent person. I'd like to make it known that we primarily survive off my income alone most of his income that he gives to me goes into savings because I make a Remarkably large amount of money thanks to what I get from the VA and from my 40+ hr job in the federal sector. And with the hours I work I don't have to worry about childcare as I watch my daughter during the day, When partner comes home from his long day at work I will sleep for a couple of hours before I start my night shift, I also will sleep while my daughter is in school till I have to pick her up then I do housework and take care of my child till my Partner Comes home and cook dinner. The only reason we live with in-laws is to help them with the mortgage because the mortgage is so incredibly high in the area that we live in. So to reiterate I have never asked or needed help from any of partner's family. And I find it funny that they are now preaching that we're a family we need to help each other, Yet never once while I was living with them have ever offered help offer to watch a our child for the night or anything. Not that I would accept or anything just saying it would have been a nice gesture at the very least. But after partner said that we're family, I retaliated by saying family doesn't violate personal space and go in your room and steals your stuff. He sighed and said you're on that again and I said it's not just the ipod it is also the fact that your dad stole my deer pen. And that the ipod was and the deer pen is sentimental to me. Like a broken record I stated that the ipod had everything from my past that was irreplaceable memories of friends who are no longer with us and of our daughter's first breath into the world And the fact that he is not as mad as me about the fact that we no longer have the video of our daughter being brought into the World Is eye-opening. We ended the day on a sour note where he ended up sleeping on the couch and I in our bed. which has led me to write out my emotions because I just want to scream at him for 🚩#9: everytime he gave his free time to his family,when I couldn't even get 2 hours a day to just chat, the little bit of time I did get with him he just wants to "sit in silence" where he ends spends the time on tiktok. Also whenever I find out when i have a day off usually a month in advance. I try to plan an "US" day where its just me, him, and our daughter.spoiler alert I rarely if ever get to share a day off with him and when he manages one, on the day we had plans he says something along the lines of I have to do a tree trimmng job or fix a sprinkler head, he states "won't take long" then will call and say he'll be bit longer, rinse and repeat this and he spends the whole day at his clients house fixing his fuck up. no hes not seeing AP I have untraceable GPS trackers secretly hidden in all the vehicles, and no not illegal I legally own and insure all our vehicles at my suggestion due problems with the parents. Also partner owns piece of fils business so in a way its keeping track of work equipment in case it gets stolen. I've gotten to the point where the moment he says he's gonna take longer than planned I just leave with my daughter and do what I had planned like go to the zoo, museum, trampoline park, etc. Partner does not call me all day. im at the point idc,still frustrated but don't care. Also here's the cherry on the cake usually when me and daughter go out we get back right when partner gets home and is unpacking the work vehicle and he has this look like were you out of the house all day? Which is confirm with that very question coming from his mouth. I send our child to go in the house sensing where the convo was leading to and once she was out of ear shot. Again very bluntly I tell im not gonna cancel my day if your not gonna prioritize me and our daughter's time I had plans for today I told you in advance you made your choice of which is more important so while you used your day off to do an extra job I used my day off to make memories with our child. In true child fashion he says but I wanted to go to insert place too. You should've just waited to go on a different day. I tell him that he always postpones or comes up with a reason not to go (too expensive, too hot, will be crowded, blah blah blah) so instead I will make the plan to go tell him ahead of time if he takes time off great if not no sweat im still going. Boy he got so irritated for being called out especially when our daughter yelled from the doorway dad you always cancel on us. BTW daughter is unaware of partners affair on the day that I confronted him a close friend that I had told of my situation told me and partner that her daughter wanted to do a sleepover I was unaware this was her sneaky way of helping me. I just took advantage of the empty nest situation I'm sorry if this is more of a rant but my anger and emotions all over the place I'm half tempted of just ending things cutting ties with him and his family because they expect me to change my morality, which I'm very uncomfortable with that. Everything that I was taught respect the relationship your in, respect the law, dont do anything illegal etc these are basic common sense things. Mil, bil, and partner did not respect their relationships or partner. Mil and partner cheated (not with eachother gross but with other people). Bil left pregnant wife alone, due to have a baby anyday, to do something illegal. Also the mental abuse i deal with Partner's sisters bullying me by critiquing how my parents raised me, on my parenting, calling me a hypocrite on my morality because I was trying to pin a baby on partner (was not true he was given the choice to leave all the way up until before delivery) I'm just mentally, physically and emotionally tired. And separation is looking really like a good idea. I've asked for family and couples counseling, inlaws and partner say "we don't have issues you do,why dont you get it, your too needy and selfish always wanting to spend alone time with partner" Thats why I'm turning to reddit one to vent/rant and two for second opinions. I try to limit what I tell bout my family to my parents friends and sibs partly because I hate painting people I've chosen to keep in my life in a bad light also my dad and brothers wouldve have made partner and inlaws take a dirt nap in the desert if I had told them what they've been putting me through and what partner did around time of covid, no trace or evidence think scene from boondocks of the assassin who "took care of" the entire family.only my close friend has seen and knows the full extent of what I've gone through, so she could be a witness to my family if partner tries to spin this around in his favor. But also she suggest the reddit route so I can get opinions and see if maybe I'm seeing this in a different light like seeing this though a different POV. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. I know I most likely am gonna get hate for this next thing I about to say as well But when we found out she was pregnant with the second kid I said with a great deal of concern that she should "take care of it" because "if you arent sure if you can handle two kids while brother in law is away then maybe keeping this one isn't the best choice" Again family looks at me like I'm the devil for suggesting this.Just so It's made clear I was not pushing her to get an abortion I was just trying to make it clear to her that she is going to be having 2 kids under the age of 2 in her care While her husband is away. Also for further insight cousin broke up with baby mama while she was pregnant with second kid but after it was too late to do anything about it when baby mama announced her pregnancy (prior to the crime) i voiced my same concerns with her,in standard young dumb full of it fashion she state "we are in this ride or die" and now she cries to me saying she can't handle two kids and "why did i have a second one" baby mama is now regretting her decision.For any single parent taking care of two kids is a daunting task so I was just looking out for her mental health due to the fact that she would be Taking care of 2 kids by herself at the same time her partner was going to be going to jail for an undisclosed amount of time and at the time not knowing if she might have ppd like some people have after having Irish twins.

/uw A long one today. Special thanks to u/Lilith_Anorthosite who co-wrote this with me. Previous post here.
Vashric rips through the City of Dis like a jagged knife. Having been discovered by the horde of demons, stealth is no longer an option. Disintegration rays fly wildly through the air. War devils are broken down and blown apart. Walls and frames are atomized, several buildings collapse around them. He wants to fly out of the chaos but his telekinesis is still focused on stabilizing his body, a constant effort even now. He extends his wings to take off but the war devils dog him down. The fight devolves into a grapple as the horde piles onto Vashric, stabbing, slashing, tearing.
A violet light emanates from the pile, then a massive flash. The closest devils are vaporized immediately, the rest are blinded and stunned. With his psychomantic power severely hindered for the moment, Vashric resorts to hand-to-hand combat. Punches, kicks, claw slashes, tail whips, even in his weakened state Vashric is a force to be reckoned with. As strikes land, the fiends are reduced to bloody mists and fileted corpses.
Hundreds of the demons are felled before an opening presents itself. He throws his wings out, knocking multiple fiends away, and takes to the sky. The smoke-laden clouds of Dis parts ways before him as he reaches hypersonic speeds. The leftover war devils make chase, but quickly disappear behind the horizon, unable to keep up with Vashric’s sheer velocity. The eyes on his wings open again, scanning the ground below for any hell gates. He soars over the city, on and on. His frustration nearly rises to a boiling point, before he finally notices a gate on the outskirts, guarded by four large devils. He lands immediately, the force shakes the ground around him. He approaches the enforcers.
The largest, a massive, scarred pit fiend, calls to him, “Hark, grey devil, what business do you have-”
“I don’t have time for this, get out of my way.”
The pit fiend only smirks, “Your insubordination offends, whelp. Your skull will make a fine addition to my collection.”
The fiend motions to the other three demons, they draw their weapons and move in on Vashric. One to his left readies to bring down its cleaver but freezes, “I really don’t have time for this,” in a blur, Vashric had buried his hand in the demon’s chest, gripping around its spine, crushing it. He lets go and the demon slumps onto the dirt. The other two are dazed. “Kill him!” the pit fiend snarls at his soldiers. They regain some resolve and move in for the attack. The exchange is short lived, however. Vashric grasps the forearm of one demon, tearing it off, then thrusts their blade through the eye socket of the other. The first demon clinches its bloody stump before Vashric removes its head.
The pit fiend growls at him as he approaches, “Perhaps you’re a little more than just a whelp,” the massive hellspawn lunges at Vashric, letting loose with a flurry of practiced cuts. They miss, though, Vashric weaves through each attack. An opportunity presents itself, one punch shatters ribs, the other causes skull fractures. The fiend falls to the ground with a low thud. It tries to curse him, but can’t form words as it fades into unconsciousness. Without a word, Vashric steps through the hell gate.
He’s brought to the next layer through a tunnel of fire. He gets that same, fleeting sense of nostalgia. The portal opens up to a mountainside overlooking the outskirts of another city, this one gothic in appearance. Tortured souls adorn the buildings, their bodies melded into the stone, whispering pleads. From his position, Vashric can barely see a group of sinners and demons. He uses his ESP to get a closer look, and it reveals an enslaved workforce of the damned. They’re being whipped and abused by their infernal masters as they’re forced to pull around large stones. They haul the masonry to a large monument under construction. A statue to some sort of leonide figure it seems.
“So, this is Pri-”
He keels over, hugging his chest. The pressure returns, he can feel the changes again, somehow spurred on by his traveling to another circle of Hell. His rematerialization kicks into overdrive trying to fight back the demonic transformation. He falls to the ground, totally immobile. After a few moments of pure agony, he finds the strength to send out a telepathic signal, hoping Lilith is close enough to hear him, hoping this too isn’t jammed.
“Rghhh, gods d-damn, that’s going to h-hurt in the- RGGHH- in the morning. An assist would be really nice right about now.”
Meanwhile, Lilith is roaming the streets of Pride in search of her friend. Having arrived not long ago after receiving Vashric’s nebulous message. Midstep she’s struck by his psychic call and responds immediately after catching herself, “I got your message. I came as fast as I could, but, from what I saw on the news, I don't know if I can help. Where are you right now? The city is huge.”
Vashric is confused for a moment, “The news? RGGHH! O-Okay, n-not important. I could use some h-help getting this demon magic un-under control. H-Hang on,” Vashric expends just enough energy to send out a psychic ping to Lilith, “There, did-did you f-feel that? That’s me.”
A silver cloud appears in front of Vashric, it quickly dissipates to reveal Lilith still in her work attire, “I'm here! Vashric, what's happening?!”
Vashric is spasming on the ground, his body ripping itself apart and desperately trying to put itself back together. Muscles tearing out of skin, bones contorting into unnatural shapes, a horrible sight. His voice grates past his teeth, “The ch-changes are b-back. They won’t s-stop.”
“This isn't normal! This is too much demonic energy for most demons to handle. That includes me.”
“L-Lilith, ple-ease. Anything w-will help. I’ve had t-t-to shatter a-nd rebuild my skel-skeleton like three times n-now,” Vashric motions to the bones jutting out of his arm.
Lilith’s mind races with potential solutions. She flips through years of magical knowledge in her mind but almost every solution she can think of requires time. Time she doesn't have. Only one seems feasible at the moment.
“I'm going to get in trouble for this but it's the only thing I can think of. I’m going to use some of your energy for a summon spell.”
“T-Trouble? Summon who?- No, it d-doesn’t matter. I’ll take the blame, I-I don’t care. How f-f-fast can you s-summon them?”
“The summoning should be quick. The main issue is that what I'm doing is illegal and may cause some issues,” Lilith begins preparing the spell.
Vashric gets to his hands and knees with a growl of pain, small fissures form across his skin as magenta hellfire streams out from the wounds. He tries to stand, “I’m n-n-ot very m-mobile at the moment, sor-sorry, you’ll h-have to for-forgive me.”
Lilith scans the area for a moment. She sees nothing, but decides to set a silence spell around the two, just in case. “I can't have others hear this chant.” She then starts to speak in Infernal tongue. As she does, the energy streams from Vashric into a singular spot. A deep red rift forms in the air. A clawed hand grips the edge, enlarging the tear. The massive and broad figure of a warrior demoness walks out.
Vashric growls in pain as the magenta flames burn ever brighter. His skin chars as he does his best to hold back further demonic transformation. Totally unconcerned with the she-devil exiting the portal.
The demoness speaks, her voice not of brimstone and fire but of care and worry, “Lilith why are you trying to summon me? You know you can just call me?
Fully stepping out of the rift Asmodian General, Liliana Obsidiantail finally gets a proper look at the mutating grey devil, “Lilith, what's going on?”
Lilith addresses her mother in a panic,“I'm sorry mama, but it’s my friend, Vashric. The one that absorbed all of that demonic energy. He’s changing again! It was manageable the first few times but something is different now!”
Vashric struggles to address Lilith’s mother, “H-H-ello, I’m Vash-ric. F-Friends call me Vash. It’s n-nice to finally m-meet you.” Vashric waves with a flame wreathed hand, “I c-c-could use some help.”
Liliana’s voice becomes rougher once talking to him, “We can leave introductions for later.”
She turns to the rift she came through and with a wave of her hand the destination changes to a military base. Her voice becomes a deep demonic growl as she yells orders. Lesser demons run about grabbing brimstone pylons from what look like weapons. The demons swiftly and efficiently set the equipment up.
“This should contain the excess energy. This isn't going to be pretty, though.”
Vashric lets out an otherworldly snarl as his jaws and teeth begin to extend past his lips, splitting the skin of his mouth, “Do it!”
“Lilith, make sure none of this magic is discharged into the surrounding area. The equipment isn’t made for this. If the energy doesn’t flow directly from him to the pylons something could explode. Either the pylons or your friend.” Her mother's command shocks Lilith out of her nervous panic as she prepares herself.
Liliana then turns to Vashric with a sharpened spike connected to the pylons by metal chains and stabs it into his chest. He barely winces at the stabbing, initially, but forms a low, rumbling grow as the siphoning begins.
The energy emanating from Vashric is continually guided into the pylons but it starts to affect everyone in the area. Lilith attempts to form a barrier to seal in the surge, increasing the intensity for everyone inside. Shadowy tendrils rise up from the ground, writhing and pulsing. The pylons begin to glow with the same searing magenta. If all present weren’t fiends, they would surely burn alive inside the barrier. Faint, infernal whispers become audible.
The lesser demons that set up the pylons grip their heads as they topple over. Lilith’s eyes go wide as she recognizes the voices from her dreams. Her mother's eyes become fiercer as she forces the spike deeper into Vashric’s chest. He howls as his eyes become pits of fire, the burning continues but the bodily changes seem to slow. The whispers rise in volume, now. They assault Lilith and Liliana. Only they can hear its message, “The black waters rise. Rejoice in His work.”
Liliana yells to Lilith, “Who or what did you get involved with? What in the Nine Hells is speaking to us?”
“Liliana, soldier of Hell. His kingdom is imminent. Join Him in the black waters, where the blood collects. Rejoice in His work.”
Her response is quick,“I’m loyal to Asmodeus and to my family. Burn your heinous tongue in the eternal fires.”
Their minds are filled with insidious laughter, “The black waters rise. Rejoice in His work,” With that, the voice fades away. Vashric comes back to consciousness, spasming slightly. The pylons are burning like suns, but his transformation seems to stabilize for now.
Lilith releases the barrier, exhausted. Liliana pulls the spike out of Vashric and drops it to the ground. She grabs him by the collar and her voice becomes like brimstone, “You have some explaining to do.”
Vashric turns his head, taking a moment to spit a black, tar-like substance onto the ground. It writhes like the shadows from earlier. His voice is raspy and haggard, “I appreciate your assistance, truly, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This was a half-truth, Vashric had a good idea as to what she meant.
“Now, could you put me down? I’ll repay you when I can, but I have to continue my journey.”
“You’re not going anywhere that isn't a holding cell.”
“...I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry, I know this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your day. Why don’t we talk things out before someone does something they regret,” Vashric gestures to Lilith, “We shouldn’t fight in front of your daughter, my friend.”
Lilith speaks up, “Mama, could you put him down?”
Liliana’s voice softens a bit, “Lilith, your ‘friend’ has caused major destruction in Dis. Multiple laws have already been broken. I'm not even supposed to be in this circle. So, no, I'm not going to put him down.”
She yells at the demons under her command to get up and take the pylons back to base as she chains Vashric.
He struggles against her hold, “Hey! Excuse me, I’m going to meet Astaroth, grand duke of the 9th. I’m sure he’ll clear everything up when I get there,” Vashric grips Liliana’s arm, then speaks to her, both verbally and telepathically, “Now. Put. Me. Down. Please.”
His telepathy collides with Liliana’s warded mind, “We’ll send a message to the grand duke when we get to your cell. If what you say is true, you should have no worries waiting for his response.”
Vashric glares at her, but doesn’t want to make a scene in front of Lilith, and doesn’t have enough strength to fight back anyway, “Fine. I’m not going to move rings yet, though. Not until I have time to meditate and replenish some of my psychomancy. Every time I’ve traveled between layers so far, this has only gotten worse.”
“I wasn't planning to. Now, where is the enforcement in this city?”
Liliana looks to the horizon and eventually sees the group of sinners in the distance, still lugging around large stones, headed by their demonic overseers. She spreads her massive wings and turns to her daughter, “Lilith, hold on.” She scoops her up and flies towards the demons, Vashric dangling in her other hand.
Liliana flies low enough to speak to the overseers, hovering just above them, she calls out, “I am Liliana, Guardian of Debauchery. I need to know where the nearest prison is.”
One of the demons motions for the sinners to halt and looks to Liliana, “What’cha be doing in Pride? We’re a long ways away from your circle.”
“Doing the job of whoever’s guarding this entrance.”
The demon gives her a defiant look, but doesn’t argue, too busy with its tasks. It points towards a large black spire in the center of the city. “Most prisoners are taken to the citadel, Sabnock will want a word, but he ain’t here at the moment. The lieutenant can see you for now.”
“Thank you,” Liliana turns and starts to fly in the spire's direction, Lilith and Vashric in tow.
Vashric chimes in, “This is really quite unnecessary, I can fly myself,” But Liliana ignores him. He turns to Lilith and speaks telepathically, “Lilith, I was expecting your mother to be a lot kinder, like you…”
Lilith, in a slightly quivering voice, “Well, if this introduction had been over some tea she’d likely be much nicer. She’s supposed to be on the job right now.” As the mental conversation continues, Lilith’s appearance starts to change.
“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have conjured tea-” Vashric stops, “Were your antlers always that long?”
“My antlers shouldn't be your concern at the moment! What happened back there? This wasn't like your other transformations.”
“It’s been getting worse the deeper into Hell I’ve traveled. I don’t know why. What’s more, the-” He pauses, contemplating how much he should divulge, “I never told you, but there have been…whispers, voices. This isn’t the first I’ve dealt with them, but they’ve been getting worse ever since I turned. Don’t worry about me, though, I’ll be fine. It’ll take more than hell magic to put me down.”
“Whispers? We heard whispers when we were siphoning your magic. They spoke exactly like a figure in the dream I had last night.”
“You’re serious? They talked to you? They talked to you in a dream? What did they say? Lilith, I need you to tell me exactly what they said.”
“They just said a lot about a ‘Herald’ and ‘black waters rising.’ That ‘He’ will make things start anew. Also, they repeated ‘rejoice in His work’ a lot.”
“They mentioned black waters?... Shit. Lilith, you need to leave, you can’t be around me. If it’s spreading, you won’t be safe near me.”
“Is this a disease? What is going on? This is clearly a threat and I can’t just turn my back. I won't let more people I care about get hurt because I'm too weak to help.”
“This isn’t a discussion, Lilith, this isn’t a suggestion. I’m telling you, when we get to this spire and your mother so graciously locks me up, you leave and go back to the Prime. I’ll meet Atsaroth as soon as I can and get this sorted out.”
“Ok, fine, but can you at least tell me what’s happening? I prefer to be informed of danger.”
“Lilith I-” he takes a moment to compose himself, “I’m not sure. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for a long time. Well before all this devil transformation nonsense. Just let me handle it.”
“You were literally tearing apart from the inside! Vashric, what would have happened if you hadn't called me?”
“I would’ve figured out something else…”
The trio breaks through a thick layer of smog, the Citadel of Pride reveals itself. A massive spire, made of dread iron and twisted souls, overlooks the ring. A beacon of hellfire lights the top, everburning, its flames shriek with the voices of the damned. The tower is surrounded by a fort, walled off from the city. Soldiers and guards can be seen beyond the bulwarks, some training, some prodding sinners and prisoners along. Liliana lands just outside the main gate. A large, imposing devil stands before them.
“You there, what is your business?”
“I am Lilliana Asmodi Obsidiantail, Asmodean General and Guardian of Debauchery. I come with a prisoner and I need to meet with the lieutenant.”
The demon eyes her, “Highly irregular. You’re not supposed to be in Pride, general. I’ll call the lieutenant, he’ll surely want to speak. So will Lord Sabnock when he returns.” It activates a sigil on the wall behind it, sending a message inside.
“I didn’t expect to be here, but it appears that someone has been failing to do their job.”
The fiend snorts, “We do not fail, blame the other rings for dumping their trash in our layer. And I suggest you hold your tongue. This isn’t your territory, and we don’t take kindly to such accusations. Especially not Lord Sabnock. Now, the lieutenant will meet you inside, mind your damn manners.” The demon gestures towards the guard house at the top of the wall, the gate creaks open. It then motions for the group to head inside, scowling at them all the while.
Liliana resists the urge to reduce the demon to a stain and drags Vashric in as Lilith follows behind her, “I now remember why I don't visit Pride.”
Lilith attempts to soothe her, “Mama, you're about to be in a meeting. The calmer you are, the faster you can get back to Debauchery and, in turn, the faster you can see Mother again.”
“Yes, I’d like to see her soon. This day has been… less-than-joyous,” she seems to grip Vashric a bit harder.
Vashric scoffs at Liliana, “Don’t be upset with me, I’ve been pretty cordial considering the circumstances.”
Their bickering is cut short, however. A portly Amnizu robed in fine clothes approaches the trio. Its rich adornments stand in stark contrast to its grotesque figure. It addresses Liliana alone, paying no mind to Vashric or Lilith, “General Obsidiantail, what a pleasure to meet you, I’m Lieutenant Tg’grax. I understand you have a prisoner you wish to deposit in our fine citadel?”
“Yes.” Liliana holds Vashric out, “This was just outside the city. The smell of blood lingers on it. I believe it’s the fugitive that tore through Dis.”
“I won’t ask what you were doing on our layer, I’m sure you had your reasons… Hmm, a grey skinned devil. Yes, perhaps this is the one that cut swathes through Dispater’s realm, Lord Sabnock will want to see for himself. Very well,” Tg’grax motions to Vashric and a pit fiend tears him out of Liliana’s hold. “This one will be kept in a holding cell, as for the two of you, you’ll have to wait until Lord Sabnock arrives.”
Liltih sighs, “At least I’m already off work.”
Liliana's face turns sour, “Well, I'm not. Asmodeus isn't going to be happy that I'm gone from my post for so long.”
Vashric is hauled off to a warded cell, “What a fine fucking predicament you’ve gotten yourself into this time, Vashric... Oh well, not much I can do until I recharge,” he thinks to himself, before assuming a meditative stance. He begins to gather psychic energy from his surroundings, unbeknownst to the guards, “And now we wait.”

So, here is my (long) story about my own experience, how I (M,22) started being more in touch with my feminine self and just started to even dare getting some clothings and such when I was so scared of it.
For years now and actually ever since my childhood I've always felt that I didn't comform fully to what would be considered by most "masculine things", with either stuff I like to play as games, or my taste in clothings, TV shows, center of interests and so on. I even remember one night as a kid trying to put on my mother's clothes (a dress that was obviously too big for young me) because I genuinely thought it looked pretty, and when my mom woke up from me dropping something on the floor she laughed and put me back to sleep lol
I already had more interests in what would be categorised by others as "girl stuff" (I personally believe the concept of gendered toys is stupid, like Barbie for girls and Batman for boys makes no sense to me) and would play a lot more with my sister's toys rather than what most people would tell me to play with, or would gift me at my birthdays, like Playmobile pirate ships, Iron Man figures, Action Mans and so on, I barely played with those. There are some exceptions of course but not as much as the rest. People around me would tell me to stop and play with "boy" stuff, but that didn't stop me from liking playing Poney Friends, Cooking Mama and many other games on my DS more than the stuff my male cousins would like and play together, and watch Kilari, Pucca, Magical Doremi, Winx Club and so on with my sister!
But growing up I started to feel a certain shame toward it, entering middle school (2012) I couldn't help but notice that almost nobody was also like this or showing it directly, so with people around me telling me to "man up" and everything else I choose to forget about it and just comform to standard "man" things. Also to put some context, I have a lot of social anxiety and fears when it comes to people and their reactions, so I didn't want to stand out from the crowd and risk any hate, so I decided to lie to myself and went with what most of the people here seemed to accept/not really care about.
Now, back to last year (2023), I've met who was going to become my very best friend, and after some time that we got to know each other and get comfortable he told me that he was a femboy! And that's when I realized I had forgotten about this, that I was also into it for a lot of time but gave it up due to fears. Seeing that he was also into it made me feel comfortable to bring that topic up and he is the only one I still talk about this with: we share some of the clothes we find online and like and many other things too!
After more months I became confident again with this side of me, and the more I thought about it the more I felt like I wanted to wear those clothes myself, like I really wanted to. I started to seriously consider buying my first feminine clothes, and I chose long socks! It's something I've always find cute and really wanted to have for myself. But even after considering it I never got the guts to order them, as I was afraid of my mom's reaction since at that time I barely talked about my feminine side to her (I don't think she did the connection with me as a kid liking all those things, or that she thinks it was just a game/for fun). I did mention it before but never seriously, more like "Hell yeah I'm going to wear dresses and skirts" jokingly from time to time in humoristic contexts.
That was until one night, around 2 months ago when I drank a bit (lot) too much, I'm not proud of it, and when I woke up the next day had the surprise of me having money missing from my account, and after searching my emails noticed that I've ordered a cute hoodie... and socks! That was the very first time I bought myself feminine clothings, and it was when I wasn't in control. I don't really know how to feel about it to be honest, kind of a little kickstart?
I got very happy at first and were excited to receive them, but then I got scared and anxious when I remembered my mother's potential reaction whenever I would receive them and wear them, because I still live with my mother for the time being. So, I receive them after a few weeks, I open the package and... the socks looks amazing! The first ones are striped with purple and shades of black and the other ones pink and white stripes. They are so soft and I'm just loving them! So, I unpack them in my room, and instantly put them on... And I got so, so, so happy! I felt like I was finally in touch with that side of me, and instead of repressing it I was finally embracing it!
I know it's just socks, but the feeling I felt was really strong, it felt like I was finally being me: I was not pretending to like them; I was LOVING them and for the first time felt so happy to wear clothes. So far it only felt like I've been dressing just to cover myself up and, well, not be naked and that's about it, but this time I was finally enjoying wearing clothes!
...Then my mom entered the room without knocking to drop some clothes by. Oh my god, the anxiety I felt when I heard the door handle move: there was nothing I could do, she was going to see me with them (I had shorts on too just to clarify) and I didn't even got any time to get ready mentally for this or to cover it up, I was still processing my happiness and this was happening.
But her reaction was really positive! At first she didn't noticed them as she went to the back of my room, but when she turned around and saw me with them she went "Ooohhh I love them, they look so pretty! Where did you get them?" right away, without any hesitation! Then she had a quick laugh but not a mocking one, more of a surprised one. And I told her that I liked them a lot too!
As much of a shock that this was, it really blew my fear up and I knew I now had a pretty safe place to have those type of clothings, and wouldn't have to hide it with having to wash them, store them etc... And ever since I've ordered even more socks of different colors, and am thinking of other clothings such as skirts and others too, but at a later date as I do not feel comfortable with my body yet for that. But now that I know I am able to do so without any stress it makes everything better and I am so happy.
My best friend changed my life for the better, and I am so grateful! Thank you!
I tried to keep it short but it is still pretty long, sorry about that!
TL,DR: Always had a feminine side since I was a kid but forced myself to forget about it to blend-in with others, then years later my best friend helped me reconnect with myself and my feminine side and now I am happier than ever!

Selling my personal collection. Over 800 Games.
Sorry my bad english. Paypal ff.
Free Shipping over $100. More photos at request. Offers are welcome. Most of these Prices are based on Pricharting (and pricecharting price are inaccurate so sorry im lazy to put my prices for these 800 games) Offers are welcome Worst can say is no.There's a problem with letter T jumps to C in switch and vita to A. working on it. Also i have blaster master and shantae slipcovers. Want to sell them together with Slipcovers.
https://imgur.com/a/ntp4d6Q
Nintendo Switch
13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim CIB+ 32.92
1971 Project Helios New 15.41
Boy and His Blob New 50.49
Little Golf Journey New 29.62
Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion New 25.68
AeternoBlade II New 35.5
Afterparty New 38
Aggelos New 38.22
AI: The Somnium Files CIB+ 60.5
Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX New 18.98
Alwa's Collection New 25.62
American Hero New 40.49
Ancestors Legacy New 24.07
Annapurna Interactive [Deluxe Limited Edition Collection] New 230.00
Ape Out [Special Reserve] New 40.00
Ara Fell & Rise of the Third Power New 57.24
Arcade Spirits New 20
Archvale New 51.25
ARMS CIB+ 30.5
Ary and the Secret of Seasons New 12.52
Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore New 55.00
Assassin's Creed: The Rebel Collection CIB+ 17.48
Astalon: Tears of the Earth New 50.63
Astral Chain New 48.99
Astronite New 19.48
Atelier Ryza 2: Lost Legends & the Secret Fairy New 55.00
Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout CIB+ 49.5
Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness and the Secret Hideout New 60.1
Attack on Titan 2: Final Battle New 65.00
Azure Striker Gunvolt 3 New 48.5
Azure Striker Gunvolt: Striker Pack CIB+ 25.79
Balan Wonderworld New 11.77
Baldur's Gate and Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Editions New 120.00
Battle Chef Brigade Deluxe CIB+ 32.61
Battle Princess Madelyn: Royal Edition New 52.88
Black Bird New 55.5
Blade Runner: Enhanced Edition New 48.72
Blasphemous CIB+ 108.49
Blaster Master Zero New 44.14
Blaster Master Zero II New 40.49
Blaster Master Zero III New 34.5
Blazing Beaks New 30.02
Blazing Chrome CIB+ 65.92
Bloodrayne 1 & 2: Revamped Dual Pack w/ Slipcover New 100.47
BloodRayne Betrayal: Fresh Bites New 40.49
Bloodstained: Curse Of The Moon 2 New 28.49
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night New 21.23
Blossom Tales II: The Minotaur Prince New 46.48
Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King CIB+ 150.47
Blue Fire CIB+ 28.49
Blue Reflection: Second Light New 59.83
Bomb Chicken CIB+ 38.14
BROFORCE [SWITCH RESERVE] New 40.00
Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling New 55.93
Bugsnax CIB+ 30.77
Burnout Paradise Remastered CIB+ 14.98
BUTCHER New 36.9
Cannon Dancer: Osman New 54
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker CIB+ 30.49
Captain Tsubasa: Rise of New Champions New 26.09
Card Shark Collector's Edition New 40.00
Carrion: Special Reserve Edition New 40.00
Castlevania Anniversary Collection New 40.00
Cat Girl Without Salad: Amuse-Bouche New 40.97
Cat Quest + Cat Quest II: Pawsome Pack New 49.5
Cathedral New 66.91
Celeste New 62.39
Chicken Police - Paint it RED! CIB+ 13.25
Children of Morta CIB+ 22.09
Children of Zodiarcs New 44.77
Citizens Unite! Earth X Space New 29.49
Coffee Talk New 42.15
COGEN: Sword of Rewind & Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2 Double Pack New 80.48
Collar X Malice New 30.49
Contra Anniversary Collection Konami Version New 55.00
Cooking Mama: Cookstar New 36.11
Corpse Killer: 25th Anniversary Edition New 42.7
Cosmo Dreamer & Like Dreamer: Double-D Collection New 25.00
Cris Tales New 13.99
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion CIB+ 25
Crossing Souls - Special Reserve New 40.00
Crystal Crisis New 31.52
Cthulhu Saves Christmas New 45.17
Cult of the Lamb [Special Reserve] New 72.48
Dandara: Trials of Fear Edition CIB+ 41.29
Dark Devotion New 45.49
Darksiders Genesis CIB+ 18
Darkwood CIB+ 108.46
DARQ: Complete Edition New 38.97
Dawn of the Monsters New 50.36
Dead Cells: Return to Castlevania Edition New 32.01
Dead or School New 52.03
Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise CIB+ 16.77
Deadly Premonition Origins New 38.03
Death end re;Quest New 41.97
Death Road to Canada New 40
Death's Door [Special Reserve] New 33.03
Death's Gambit: Afterlife New 38.72
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition] New 25.25
Demon Throttle [Reserve Edition] New 25.25
Demon Turf New 40.82
Demon's Tilt New 44.5
Deponia Collection New 83.14
Dex New 48.38
Digimon Survive New 20.95
Dimension Drive [Limited Edition] New 65.48
Disaster Report 4: Summer Memories CIB+ 25.5
DISC ROOM [SWITCH RESERVE] New 30.00
Disgaea 5 Complete New 39.5
Disney Classic Games: Aladdin and the Lion King New 18.29
Disney Tsum Tsum Festival New 26.55
DISTRAINT Collection New 33.76
Dodgeball Academia New 19.5
DoDonPachi Resurrection New 55.38
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! New 20.00
DOOM CIB+ 28.9
Doom 64 New 45.45
DOOM Eternal New 89
DOOM: The Classics Collection New 50.5
Double Dragon & Kunio-Kun Retro Brawler Bundle New 52.83
Double Dragon IV New 33.97
Double Dragon: Neon New 50.49
Downwell [Special Reserve Edition] New 60.00
Double Switch: 25th Anniversary Edition New 55.89
Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot + A New Power Awakens Set Used 25.00
Dragon Quest Treasures New 29.53
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition New 40.00
Dragon Star Varnir New 45.49
Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen CIB+ 24.74
Dragon's Lair Trilogy New 144.25
DRAINUS New 63.39
Dreamscaper New 44.72
Dusk New 44.49
Eastward CIB+ 20.3
Eldest Souls New 45.5
Elliot Quest New 28.48
Enclave HD New 52.67
Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights New 55.00
Endling - Extinction is Forever New 25.76
Epic Chef New 15.57
Espgaluda II New 60.27
Fairy Fencer F: Advent Dark Force New 48.41
FAR: Lone Sails New 49.69
Fast RMX New 71.73
Fatal Twelve New 44.49
Fault Milestone One New 28.49
Fight'N Rage New 45.49
FINAL FANTASY VII & VIII REMASTERED TWIN PACK CIB+ 37.63
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age New 31.61
Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes New 20.17
Flinthook New 45.49
Flipping Death CIB+ 28.39
Foretales New 19.29
Forgotton Anne CIB+ 35.49
Fran Bow New 111.48
Freedom Finger CIB+ 77.4
Freedom Planet New 57.39
Furi CIB+ 48.64
Gal Metal: World Tour Edition CIB+ 17.69
Gato Roboto [Special Reserve Edition] New 40.00
Ghost 1.0 + Unepic Collection: Standard Edition New 30.00
Ghost of a Tale New 66.61
Going Under New 37.47
Golf Story New 82.75
Gotta Protectors: Cart of Darkness New 45.35
Grandia HD Collection New 82.51
GrimGrimoire OnceMore [Deluxe Edition] New 42.33
Gunbrick: Reloaded New 24.68
Gunlord X New 90.00
Guns, Gore & Cannoli 1 & 2 New 140.00
Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX New 84.5
Gyakuten Saiban 123: Naruhodo Selection New 41.49
Hades New 39.19
Haven New 45.49
Heaven's Vault New 32.15
Hero Must Die. Again New 56.5
Heroland Knowble Edition New 18.63
Hollow Knight CIB+ 31.5
Horgihugh and Friends New 28.18
Hot Wheels Unleashed New 22.03
Hotline Miami Collection [Special Reserve] New 40.00
Ib New 55.46
Ikenfell New 42.56
Immortals Fenyx Rising New 15.22
In Sound Mind: Deluxe Edition New 21.81
Indivisible New 19.41
Infernax New 50.5
Inscryption [Special Reserve] New 200.00
Ion Fury New 35.35
ITTA CIB+ 35.00
ITTA [Steelbook Edition] New 50.00
Ittle Dew 2+ New 43.45
Jamestown+ New 50.98
Joe Dever's Lone Wolf New 65.54
Katamari Damacy REROLL New 23.45
Katanakami New 42.3
Kaze and the Wild Masks New 32.44
KeyWe New 25.49
Killer Queen Black New 16.13
King's Bounty II New 17.85
Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory New 20.59
Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning CIB+ 19.98
Knights and Bikes New 45.49
Kotodama: The 7 Mysteries of Fujisawa New 19.45
L.A. Noire CIB+ 29.99
Lair of the Clockwork God New 39.13
Layers of Fear: Legacy New 147.86
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga New 20.48
Little Nightmares II CIB+ 20.75
Lonely Mountains: Downhill SRG#46 New 86.79
Loop Hero CIB+ 25.00
Loop Hero [Collectors Edition] New 40.00
Love Esquire [Limited Edition] New 90.5
LoveKami Trilogy New 35.00
Lumines Remastered New 32.5
LUNARK New 49.52
Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope CIB+ 15.42
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order CIB 30.00
Mato Anomalies New 19.73
Mega Man 11 New 20.48
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection CIB+ 24.5
Megadimension Neptunia VII New 45.5
Mighty Gunvolt Burst New 44.45
Mighty Switch Force! Collection CIB+ 45.49
Ministry of Broadcast New 26.72
Minoria New 50.47
Miracle Snack Shop [Limited Edition] New 35.00
Moero Chronicle Hyper New 90.35
Moero Crystal H New 50.77
Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight New 71.68
MONARK Deluxe Edition New 37
Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate New 42.69
Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin New 31.49
Monster Sanctuary New 58.46
Monstrum New 38.5
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve] New 45.00
Mother Russia Bleeds [Special Reserve] New 45.00
Ms. Splosion Man CIB+ 31.98
Mulaka New 60.00
Murder By Numbers Collectors Edition New 80.36
Mushihimesama New 60.7
My Friend Pedro [Special Reserve Edition] New 45.00
Narita Boy New 45.55
NEO: The World Ends With You CIB+ 20.5
NeoGeo Pocket Color Selection Vol. 1 New 43.06
Neon Abyss New 42.38
Neversong & Pinstripe CIB+ 37.5
New Super Lucky's Tale New 33.59
New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe New 39.5
Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch New 26.5
NieR: Automata - The End of YoRHa Edition New 39.5
Night in the Woods New 59.92
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition New 56.06
Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection New 50.42
No Man's Sky CIB+ 26.25
No More Heroes CIB+ 40.5
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle CIB+ 35.92
No More Heroes III CIB+ 15.5
Ocean's Heart New 53.33
Octahedron New 45.43
Octopath Traveler New 52.43
Octopath Traveler II New 39.99
Oddworld - Collection New 36.25
à Œkami HD New 32.99
One Step From Eden New 34.15
Oniken + Odallus Collection New 36.51
Opus Collection CIB+ 22.49
Ori: The Collection New 28.97
Othercide New 32.45
Outlast: Bundle of Terror / Outlast 2 CIB+ 250.00
Overlord: Escape from Nazarick New 35.97
Owlboy CIB+ 16.48
Oxenfree New 99.53
Panzer Dragoon New 40.5
Panzer Paladin New 48.13
Pathway New 27.6
Phoenotopia: Awakening [Premium Edition] New 114.25
Pikmin 3 Deluxe CIB+ 35.00
Pikmin 4 New 42.79
Piofiore: Fated Memories New 27.95
PixelJunk Eden 2 New 25.49
Pocky & Rocky Reshrined New 25.49
Pokémon Legends: Arceus New 41.19
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX CIB+ 40.5
Pokémon Sword CIB+ 30.26
Pokémon Violet New 44.5
Postal Redux New 25.5
PowerSlave: Exhumed New 55.00
Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 2 [Deluxe Edition] New 43.99
Prodeus New 40.67
Project Warlock New 67.14
Puyo Puyo Tetris New 17.5
Q.U.B.E. 2 New 51.32
Quake New 38.49
Radiant Silvergun New 58.09
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan New 23.82
Razion EX New 90.00
realMyst: Masterpiece Edition New 78.08
République: Anniversary Edition New 35.49
Return of the Obra Dinn New 58.18
Return to Monkey Island CIB+ 43.09
Return to Shironagasu Island CIB+ 28.5
Risk of Rain 2 New 14.7
River City Girls CIB+ 80.23
River City Girls 2 New 50.5
River City Girls [PAX Variant] New 142.6
River City Girls Zero New 44.49
River City: Rival Showdown New 30.49
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos CIB+ 30.00
Roki CIB+ 30.00
Rolling Sky Collection CIB+ 20.00
Root Film New 34.09
RUINER [SWITCH RESERVE] New 45.00
Rune Factory 3 Special New 23.41
Rune Factory 3 Special New 23.41
Rune Factory 4 Special [Archival Edition] New 90.00
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin New 27.5
Sally Face [Deluxe Edition] New 224.81
Sam & Max Save the World New 43.5
Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space Remastered New 44
Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time New 70.48
Save me Mr Tako: Definitive Edition New 33.5
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game - Complete Edition New 32.49
Sea Horizon [Limited Edition] New 42.49
Sea of Solitude: The Director's Cut New 20.00
Seabed New 40.42
SeaBed [Limited Edition] New 135.38
Senran Kagura Reflexions New 129.74
Senren * Banka New 70.00
SENSEs: Midnight [Limited Edition] New 47.43
Serious Sam Collection [Switch Reserve] New 50.00
Seven Pirates H New 30.00
Seven Pirates H New 30.00
Seven Pirates H New 30.00
Shadow Man Remastered New 48.39
Shadowgate New 62.5
Shadowrun Trilogy New 45.00
Shadows of Adam New 34.49
Shadowverse: Champion's Battle New 21.95
Shantae New 39.34
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse New 381.21
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse Box 49.62
Shantae and the Seven Sirens New 50.2
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero [Ultimate Edition] New 38.2
Shantae: Risky's Revenge New 38.51
Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn New 19.57
Shikhondo: Soul Eater New 34.44
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne HD Remaster New 25.5
Shin Megami Tensei V New 22.38
Shin Megami Tensei V New 22.38
Shining Resonance Refrain [Draconic Launch Edition] New 48.6
Sine Mora EX New 23.02
Skelattack New 45.00
Slime-san New 43.74
Smile For Me New 30.00
SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy New 29.15
Sol Cresta: Dramatic Edition New 45.48
Sonic Colors Ultimate CIB+ 15.48
Sonic Frontiers CIB+ 21.62
Sonic Mania New 16.51
Spiritfarer New 28.95
Splatoon 2 CIB+ 19.67
Splatoon 3 New 43.99
Star Wars Pinball New 19.72
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic New 60.49
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords New 59.79
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords New 59.79
Star Wars: Republic Commando New 26.45
Steel Assault New 48
Streets of Rage 4 New 33.45
Strife: Veteran Edition New 30.00
Subnautica + Subnautica: Below Zero New 32.49
Super Blood Hockey New 60.96
Super Bomberman R New 20.42
Super Mario Maker 2 CIB+ 30.48
Super Meat Boy New 38.5
Super Meat Boy Forever New 25.98
Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania New 13.48
Supraland New 33.75
Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido New 12.17
Taiko no Tatsujin Rhythm Festival New 15.5
Tails of Iron [Crimson Knight Edition] New 42.89
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition New 30.41
Tandem: A Tale of Shadows New 20.48
Terraria New 24.66
DioField Chronicle CIB+ 25.46
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim CIB+ 35.31
Falconeer: Warrior Edition New 18.88
Friends Of Ringo Ishikawa New 26.73
Great Ace Attorney Chronicles CIB+ 30.98
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III - Extracurricular Edition CIB+ 31.77
Legend of Tianding New 45.00
Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom New 47.46
Letter: A Horror Visual Novel [Limited Edition] New 73.75
The Messenger [Special Reserve Games Edition] New 280.00
Missing CIB+ 35.5
Mummy Demastered New 57.71
Red Lantern New 58.5
RED STRINGS CLUB [SWITCH RESERVE] New 38.5
Silver Case 2425 Deluxe Edition CIB 25.00
TakeOver New 47.41
Talos Principle New 40.00
Touryst New 60.00
Wonderful 101: Remastered New 23.5
World Ends with You: Final Remix New 53.95
There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension New 53.51
Thumper New 45.45
Time on Frog Island CIB+ 17.43
Timespinner [Limited Run] CIB+ 77.28
Tiny Barbarian DX New 33.97
To The Moon New 67.98
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove! CIB+ 49.86
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore New 66.72
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore New 66.72
TowerFall New 45.5
Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes CIB+ 24.99
Treasures Of The Aegean New 17.98
Trigger Witch New 34.59
Trigger Witch - Limited Edition New 57.66
Trover Saves the Universe New 37.76
Turok / Turok 2: Seeds of Evil New 167.4
Twin Blades of the Three Kingdoms New 30.00
Two Point Hospital New 26.5
UnderMine New 51.08
Unravel Two CIB+ 18.35
Unreal Life New 39.15
Unsighted New 47.2
Untitled Goose Game New 22.45
Valfaris New 39.64
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection New 70.61
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection II New 50.5
Valkyria Chronicles 4 New 66.81
Very Very Valet New 17.77
Wandersong CIB+ 33.99
Warborn New 16.6
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus CIB+ 21
WarioWare: Get it Together! CIB+ 24.55
West of Dead New 39.1
Wizard of Legend New 55.00
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap New 39.14
World Of Simulators New 45
Wreckfest New 25.5
Wulverblade New 68.83
Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Loose 42.6
Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Torna the Golden Country loose 45
Xtreme Sports New 50.5
Yoku's Island Express CIB+ 35.5
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair New 35.5
Young Souls New 34.49
Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution CIB+ 17.69
Yuppie Psycho: Executive Edition (Elite Edition) New 45.49
Yurukill: The Calumniation Games (Deluxe Edition) New 20.73
Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Ghoul Patrol New 40.09
PS2
Armored Core Nexus CIB105.33
PS4
88 Antarctica New 45.00
Antartica 88 [Variant Cover] New 185.5
Deadpool CIB+ 76.33
Death Park New 45
Death Park New 45
Death Park New 45
Death Park New 45
Digimon Survive New 16.55
Divinity: Original Sin II - Definitive Edition New 71
Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! New 21.17
Helldivers [Super-Earth Ultimate Edition] CIB+ 45.00
Minecraft: Story Mode - A Telltale Games Series - The Complete Adventure CIB+ 58.41
Outriders: Worldslayer New 18.48
Revenge of The Bird King New 31.99
Saints Row: The Third Remastered New 15.1
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [At the Seams Edition] New 60.49
Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal [Tailor Made Edition] New 47.99
Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash (No Shirt, No Shoes, All Service Edition) New 71.5
Shadow Warrior 2 [Special Reserve Edition] New 235.52
Super Perils of Baking Special Edition [SEGA Outerbox] New 120.00
Swords of Ditto: Mormo's Curse [Special Reserve Edition] New 40.00
Tamashii New 450.00
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan CIB+ 40.00
Valkyria Chronicles Remastered Steelbook Edition New 30.45
VITA
2064: Read Only Memories New 67.97
88 Heroes New 40.6
99Vidas New 125.97
Hole New World New 48.82
Rose in the Twilight New 192
Winter's Daydream [Limited Edition] New 64.1
Aegis of Earth: Protonovus Assault New 26.49
Akiba's Beat New 30.25
Akiba's Trip: Undead & Undressed CIB+ 25.49
Alone With You New 38.5
Angry Birds Star Wars New 20.48
Another World: 20th Anniversary Edition New 40.49
Antiquia Lost New 34.75
Aqua Kitty: Milk Mine Defender DX New 51.5
Army Corps of Hell New 23.99
Asdivine Hearts New 35.46
Astro Aqua Kitty [Limited Edition] New 64.7
Atari Flashback Classics New 60.61
Atelier Escha & Logy Plus: Alchemists of the Dusk Sky (Limited Edition) New 168.49
Awesome Pea Collection [Limited Edition] CIB+ 40.1
Axiom Verge Multiverse Edition New 56.56
Back in 1995 [Limited Edition] New 191.4
Bard's Gold New 33
Bastion New 64.16
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate CIB+ 23.67
Bit.Trip Presents...Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien New 33.49
Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon New 118.23
Borderlands 2 CIB+ 23.49
Breach & Clear New 308.01
Broken Age New 33.77
Bunny Must Die: Chelsea and the 7 Devils New 95
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified CIB+ 22.29
Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified Loose 18.98
Chaos;Child New 45.61
Chasm CIB+ 60.49
Child of Light CIB+ 24.56
Claire: Extended Cut CIB+ 35.17
Code:Realize - Future Blessings Loose 14.9
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth New 25.5
Code:Realize - Guardian of Rebirth Loose 14.2
Conga Master Go! [Limited Edition] New 51.83
Corpse Party: Blood Drive New 58.77
Cosmic Star Heroine CIB+ 43.25
Criminal Girls 2: Party Favors CIB+ 74.09
Criminal Girls: Invite Only CIB+ 54.49
Croixleur Sigma New 40.49
Cursed Castilla EX [Limited Edition] New 60.5
Curses 'N Chaos New 38.72
Damascus Gear: Operation Osaka New 40.51
Damascus Gear: Operation Tokyo New 41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair Loose 19.41
Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair Loose 19.41
Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls New 31.5
Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony CIB+ 58.89
Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc CIB+ 25.97
Dariusburst: Chronicle Saviours New 47.38
Deadbolt New 42.44
Death Mark CIB+ 23.22
Death Tales [Limited Edition] New 40.4
Deemo: The Last Recital New 34.22
Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten New 37.86
Demon Gaze Loose 22.22
Demon Gaze CIB+ 25.81
Demon Gaze II New 74.66
Demon's Tier+ [Limited Edition] CIB+ 55.49
Dengeki Bunko: Fighting Climax CIB+ 25.5
Devious Dungeon - Limited Edition CIB+ 67.38
Devious Dungeon 2 [Limited Edition] New 84.5
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth CIB+ 65.9
Disgaea 4: A Promise Revisited CIB+ 25.49
Dokuro New 52.94
Dragon Fantasy: The Black Tome of Ice New 34.5
Dragon Fantasy: The Volumes of Westeria New 40.49
Dragon Sinker: Descendants of Legend New 35.5
Dungeon Travelers 2: The Royal Library & The Monster Seal CIB+ 53
Dynasty Warriors: Next Loose 16.66
Earth Defense Force 2: Invaders from Planet Space New 28.19
EMMA: Lost in Memories [Limited Edition] New 52.49
Exile's End New 39.65
Exist Archive: The Other Side of The Sky Loose 18.48
Fate/Extella: The Umbral Star Noble Phantasm Edition New 46.26
Fernz Gate New 30.69
Final Fantasy X / X-2 HD Remaster Loose 25.49
Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster New 61.19
Forma.8 New 32.5
Freedom Wars CIB+ 13.48
Furwind [Limited Edition] CIB+ 40.5
Futuridium EP Deluxe New 45.97
Gal*Gun: Double Peace CIB+ 32.34
Ghoulboy [Limited Edition] New 160.5
God of War Collection New 74.75
Grand Kingdom New 47.6
Gravity Rush CIB+ 44.5
Guard Duty [Limited Edition] CIB+ 47.38
Gundemoniums New 84.18
Gunhouse New 30.38
Habroxia New 129.94
Habroxia 2 [Limited Edition] New 65.5
Halloween Forever [Limited Edition] New 74.5
Home: A Unique Horror Adventure New 35.92
Horizon Chase Turbo [Limited Edition] New 76.81
Hot Shots Golf: World Invitational New 26.19
HtoL#NiQ The Firefly Diary: Limited Edition New 59.25
Hue New 40.5
Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart CIB+ 35.5
Hyperdimension Neptunia PP: Producing Perfection CIB+ 35.97
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1 CIB+ 47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1 CIB+ 47.01
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation CIB+ 60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2: Sisters Generation CIB+ 60.49
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation CIB+ 55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth3: V Generation CIB+ 55.95
Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed CIB+ 43.81
Iconoclasts New 96.5
Indigo 7 : Quest for Love New ?
Jak and Daxter Collection CIB+ 50.49
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition] New 100.5
Jet Set Knights [Limited Edition] New 100.5
Just Ignore them + My Big Sister Collection New 60.49
Kawaii Deathu Desu New 45.5
Killzone: Mercenary Loose 24.49
Killzone: Mercenary CIB+ 32.68
Knightin' + [Limited Edition] New 60.45
Knytt Underground New 128.14
La-Mulana Ex New 38.03
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes Loose 11.33
LEGO Jurassic World CIB+ 13.44
LEGO Ninjago: Shadow of Ronin Loose 17.12
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens New 28.75
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens Loose 12.21
LEGO The Lord of the Rings Loose 10.49
Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut New 42.49
Luckslinger [Limited Edition] New 60.41
Lumines: Electronic Symphony New 18.61
Mary Skelter: Nightmares CIB+ 92.87
MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies New 37.58
MeiQ: Labyrinth of Death CIB+ 25.39
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition [Limited Edition] New 106.71
Metagal [Limited Edition] CIB+ 100.35
Metal Gear Solid HD Collection CIB+ 46.49
Metal Slug 3 New 115.48
Mind Zero CIB+ 20.48
Mooseman [Limited Edition] New 119.05
Mortal Kombat CIB+ 26.99
MotoGP 13 CIB+ 23.83
MUSYNX New 50.49
Muv-Luv New 53.36
Muv-Luv Alternative New 66.95
Muv-Luv Complete Set New 90.5
My Aunt is a Witch [Limited Edition] New 55.5
Mystery Chronicle: One Way Heroics New 27.94
Need for Speed: Most Wanted - A Criterion Game CIB+ 20.32
Neurovoider New 35.5
Nicole [Limited Edition] New 48.22
Night Trap: 25th Anniversary Edition New 58.99
Nova-111 New 28.67
Nurse Love Addiction New 59.18
Nurse Love Syndrome New 50.49
Nurse Love Syndrome Loose 15.49
Oceanhorn: Monster of Uncharted Seas New 52
Octodad: Dadliest Catch New 46.36
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee - New 'n' Tasty New 149.5
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee HD New 52.5
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath HD New 69.73
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir CIB+ 72.45
Odin Sphere Leifthrasir Loose 70.5
One More Dungeon CIB+ 60
Operation Abyss: New Tokyo Legacy CIB+ 31.5
Oreshika: Tainted Bloodlines New 93
Papers, Please New 115.47
Pato Box [Limited Edition] New 73.23
Penny-Punching Princess New 45.41
Period: Cube - Shackles of Amadeus New 54.65
Persona 4 Golden Loose 25.37
Persona 4 Golden New 61.12
Persona 4: Dancing All Night - Disco Fever Edition New 145.5
Phantom Breaker: Battle Grounds New 53.5
Pix the Cat New 28.84
Plague Road New 43.4
PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale New 31.74
Proteus New 36.49
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk New 51.5
Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk New 51.5
Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly CIB+ 33.57
Pushy and Pully in Block Land New 70.45
Rabi-Ribi New 93.59
Rainbow Moon New 44.89
Ray Gigant New 102.84
Rayman Legends Loose 17.37
Rayman Origins CIB+ 16.71
Retro City Rampage DX [Re-Release] New 35.00
Revenant Dogma New 35.36
Revenant Saga New 29.44
Reverie [Limited Edition] CIB+ 43.49
Riddled Corpses EX New 40.49
Risk of Rain New 38
Rock Boshers DX New 29.34
Rocketbirds 2: Evolution New 55.5
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken New 43.2
Root Double [Xtend Edition] New 53.5
Root Letter New 46.11
Salt and Sanctuary New 100.49
Salt and Sanctuary New 100.49
Saturday Morning RPG New 50.49
Sayonara Umihara Kawase++ New 67.33
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition] New 59.97
ScourgeBringer [Limited Edition] New 59.97
Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: Let's Get Physical Edition New 115.5
Senran Kagura: Bon Appétit! New 150.44
Senran Kagura: Bon Appétit! Full Course - Collector's Edition New 185.13
Senran Kagura: Estival Versus Endless Summer Edition New 115.48
Sense: A Cyberpunk Ghost Story New 155.5
Severed [Limited Edition] New 100.81
Shakedown: Hawaii CIB+ 36.85
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero CIB+ 37.5
Shinobido 2: Revenge of Zen CIB+ 38.67
Shovel Knight New 96.49
Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution 2+ CIB+ 76.26
Silent Hill: Book of Memories CIB+ 76.38
Sir Eatsalot [Limited Edition] CIB+ 53.08
Siralim New 50.5
Siralim 2 New 30.49
Skullgirls: 2nd Encore New 52.81
Sky Force Anniversary New 75.48
Slain: Back From Hell [Signature Edition] New 150.65
Sly Cooper Collection CIB+ 52.27
Smart as... CIB+ 9.67
Soldner-X 2: Final Prototype New 44.12
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed CIB+ 23.56
Sorcery Saga: Curse of the Great Curry God [Limited edition] New 80.5
Soul Sacrifice CIB+ 17.36
Soul Sacrifice Delta New 105.5
Spelunky New 70.5
Spy Hunter CIB+ 24.31
Stay [Limited Edition] New 130.5
Stealth Inc: A Clone in the Dark (Ultimate Edition) New 29.13
SteamWorld Dig New 55.72
SteamWorld Heist New 52.97
Steins;Gate CIB+ 30.58
Steins;Gate 0 CIB+ 29.49
Stranger of sword city limited edition New 63.57
Super Hydorah New 47.9
Super Meat Boy New 60.5
Super Mutant Alien Assault New 34.9
Super Skull Smash GO! 2 Turbo New 42.35
SUPERBEAT: XONiC New 28.49
Superdimension Neptune VS Sega Hard Girls New 58.5
Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment New 65.48
Synergia [Limited Edition] New 110.49
Tachyon Project Limited Edition New 55.35
Takotan [Limited Edition] New 51.59
Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack New 50.24
Tales of Hearts R CIB+ 69.48
Tales of Hearts R Loose 50.5
Task Force Kampas New 36.5
Tetris Ultimate New 70.47
Tetris Ultimate New 70.47
Amazing Spider-Man CIB+ 64.75
Amazing Spider-Man CIB+ 64.75
Bard's Tale: Remastered and Resnarkled New 50.49
Bit.Trip Limited Edition New 33.5
Count Lucanor [Signature Edition] New 144.47
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition CIB+ 99.5
House in Fata Morgana: Dreams of the Revenants Edition M+B 40.1
King of Fighters '97: Global Match New 64.81
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel CIB+ 36.49
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel (Lionheart Limited Edition) New 72.39
Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel II CIB+ 57.82
Longest Five Minutes New 32.5
Lost Child New 56.03
Lost Cube [Limited Edition] New 50.49
Ratchet and Clank Trilogy CIB+ 72.77
Swapper New 51.48
Swindle New 27.51
Walking Dead: Season Two - A Telltale Games Series New 22.61
Thomas Was Alone New 33.5
Tokyo Xanadu New 49.32
Touch My Katamari CIB+ 33.72
Twin Breaker: A Sacred Symbols Adventure [Limited Edition] CIB+ 47.09
Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 CIB+ 31.21
Uncharted: Golden Abyss CIB+ 27.23
Uncharted: Golden Abyss CIB+ 27.23
Undertale New 66.38
Unepic [Limited Edition] New 274.98
UnMetal New 163.32
Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception New 72.27
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition New 36.5
Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth - Launch Edition New 36.5
VA-11 Hall-A New 79.91
Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkhuni CIB+ 66.81
Vasara Collection New 98.5
Velocity 2X: Critical Mass Edition New 63.05
Volume New 32.25
Windjammers New 35.83
Wipeout 2048 New 31.24
World of Final Fantasy New 33.99
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition] New 100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition] New 100.5
Xeno Crisis [Limited Edition] New 100.5
Xenon Valkyrie+ New 68.11
Xeodrifter New 44.2
Yomawari: Midnight Shadows CIB+ 33.71
Yomawari: Night Alone / htol#NiQ: The Firefly Diary CIB+ 40.5
Ys Origin New 56.4
Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA New 72.34
Ys: Memories of Celceta CIB+ 25.99
Yumeutsutsu Re:After [Limited Edition] New 82.97
Yumeutsutsu Re:Master [Limited Edition] New 75.48
Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward CIB+ 15.5
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma New 33.17
Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma Loose 24.51
3DS
Aliens: Infestation Loose 45.00
Minecraft: New Nintendo 3DS Edition New 34.72
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition) New 70.5
Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (Double D Edition) New 70.5
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition] New 89.39
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [Collector's Edition] New 89.39

(I don't care) Bangers, yo (Fantom) Can I eat the glizzy? Eren Yeager, laugh my ass off, dancing Israelis EDP likes kids, I was the dad one Hi, sussy blue balls Who is in Paris? Ayo, he back, I like you Baka sussy, I love hot cocoa Who’s in Paris? Kirby, nick her Who's in Paris? Hungry man, the hungry I got pegged, yo' mama dead Rosa Parks like my sister, nigga What’s up, little boy? Lil Mosey is the best TikToker Bukago, I eat EDP I'm white, lyrical suicide, nigga Give me your skeleton, A-I-O-P-M Fortnite balls, I'm gay I like boys I kidnap autistic kids Lil Mosey is watching, T. Rex I'm EDP, big, Kanye West Me, lemon pepper shrimp Bro, ain't no way, casket, poop I'm EDP's cupcake, Kim cheated Laugh my ass off, dick cheese Kim left me, nineteen dollar Fortnite card I'm racist, evangelist Hi, Kanye, laugh my ass off You a legend, Garb, I love feet Age is a number, kiddo, balls, balls I rap ocean water, big nigga balls A-E-I-O-U, stars aren’t real I like underage girls, eastside Who been countin’ J. Cole out? Ocean water shook my balls Yeah, Yeezus, tree bark Mom's spaghetti, EDP 445 Yeah, yeah, baby balls Cheese sandwich balls, yeah, yeah Duct tape, thanks a lot EDP, Kanye West, I am Chinese Bahahahahaha, Lil Tay is hot What did he say? Eren Yeager Shoutout Lizards, my homie Oh my god, balls Sandwich, Uranus I ride little kids, shoutout flowers I agree with EDP, I did sixty-nine with a sixty-nine Obama balls, I like LoL Hey, Siri, call 9-1-1 Kim, I.P, John Cena is a alien I eat fat ass, I get backed Saddam Hussein, Deez EDP is innocent, hi, ching chong I kiss my dog Extravagant something, wait L-M-A-F-O, I’m gay I take backshots, it all falls up

As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe that is NoP! Thank you to u/cruisingNWfor proof reading and helping me make this chapter as good as it can be, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity! It's very good! :D
A big thanks to u/Saint-Andros for helping with proofreading! He writes Out of Our Elements which is a very good one! If you like a good fic in the wilderness and a pair of cute 'friends' ;) you'll love OOE!
Also thank you to u/brotanics! For this wonderful fanart of Taisa. And this one! She's so cute I'm gonna die
And thank you to u/Jimdandy117! For this adorable fanart of Chris and Renkel! Dear god help he's adorable I love him so much
Thank you u/SlimyRage, or AsciiSquid on Discord, for makin' Vengineer Taisa Gamin'. She's absolutely adorable, I love her lil' workers apron. She looks so excited to get to work!
Thank you u/Braquen! For this astounding Pixel Art of Taisa after a few range day dates with Chris! Her little hat and gunbelt are absolutely astounding!
Thank you u/VeryUnluckyDice! For this Artwork of Taisa and Chris as characters from One Piece! I've never seen or read it before but it's incredibly cute!
Thank you to u/creditmission for their wonderful work of several LoM fanfics!
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Memory Transcription Subject: Taikel, Venlil Farmer, Venlil-Human Exchange Host
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 18th, 2136
Polani guide her light… please.
My heart hurt as I awoke to the familiar clatter of the window’s auto blinds snapping me to consciousness, rousing me from my sleep as golden twilight rays filled the room, forcing me to follow through. Everything felt tighter, stiffer, more painful as I slowly rose upright, my paws finding and pressing into the tension at the base of my neck, my eyes squeezing shut as I did everything I could to push past the tide of reality falling on my shoulders.
Rensa laid at my side while her occasional muffled beep drifted from her as she was lost in whatever dreams her medicine had brought to her mind this time. She’d cried into my shoulder when she’d broken from them after the accident, wailing about the horrid events and images she’d been forced to endure, or relive, in the nights of her dreams. All I could hope was that her stillness was a good sign that she wasn’t haunted by those horrors again; old, or new.
The heavy weight hanging on my eyelids beckoned me to give in, to turn over and bury myself back into the covers, to hide from the thought of what we’d los-
No. Not yet.
The thought of losing them. The UN hadn’t confirmed anything and wouldn’t for a few more paws - or ever, Stars willing - but Taisa’s silence set ice in my veins. Until then, I had to push forward to help Rensa and to keep Renkel’s spirits up. Even if it meant I’d have an even farther fall.
And if they are gone, they wouldn’t want you to sit and rot away in bed. Keep everything together, gray coat, for them-
A tight, high whimper from my love, my life beside me all but shattered my heart.
And for her.
I leaned over, gently licking Rensa’s cheek before tucking the blankets a little tighter around her and slipping myself free from beneath their enticing embrace. I wasn’t entirely alright; wouldn’t be until I knew, for better or worse. Until then… Until then I’d do everything I could to make them proud.
The wood beneath my paws let out a long, sighing creak as I rose from the bed, pushing myself out into the hall before gently sliding the door closed behind me. This waking, for Renkel at least, would be no different than any other waking he had off from school. Not if I had anything to say about it.
The stairs were silent as I descended, turning into the open living room and staring at the hearth for a long moment, doing my best to keep my attention off of Chris’ empty room and onto the task at hand. I let out a long sigh, flapping my ears to try and batter the thoughts away as I padded into the kitchen. Warm pops and wet hisses of my cooking soon filled the air as I set about making first-meal with a hearty helping of Human vegetables.
Before I knew it the soft click-clack of pup-claws sounded from the stairs as Renkel followed his tongue to find a steaming bowl of scramble waiting for him.
“Good waking, Rekan.” I whistled, doing my best to shear the melancholy from my voice as he clambered up into his seat, clutching one of his Human ‘Animal Encyclopedias’ close to his chest. “How was your rest?”
“Good! I dream’d’d of fishies!” He exclaimed before thumping the book on the table and flicking it open to a page with the dull, speckled flanks of some massive fish that dwarfed the Human swimming next to it. “That one! It’s my favorite!”
A small titter of amusement slipped from my snout at the fickleness of a pup’s interests. “Oh really now? I thought you said the Manta Ray was your favorite!”
“Muh-uh! Whale sharks is way cooler! Look how big it is! And it swims around with its mouth open like the manta but way bigger!” Renkel groaned, tossing his arms as wide as his maw in imitation of the gargantuan fish.
“Well you’ll have to tell me all about them!” I whistled in return, serving myself a steaming bowl of the mix before knocking the heat down to keep it warm for Rensa… whenever she woke up.
“What’s wrong, Papa?” >Alright?< My son asked with his, curious, worried eyes staring up at me past the wisps of steam drifting from his food. “Is Mama ok?”
“She’s… She’s alright, son. Her leg’s hurting her a lot lately. Everything going on has got her real worried, is all.” >Everything Fine.< I answered, my voice sounding far more sure of the words than I felt as I paused for a moment. >Eat Up!<
His attention hung on me for a few moments longer before he let out a happy, satisfied beep and launched into an explanation of everything he found interesting about these ‘Whale Sharks’, only pausing to breathe and stuff whole skewers of vegetables into his mouth. The enthusiasm of a pup never did fail to amaze, and Renkel certainly had enough to go around! Our bowls were soon finished and empty, but Renkel kept going, happily whistling on about how their gills worked and how their coloring was to protect them from predators. Before long the dishes were cleared and in the sink, all except for one.
She needs to eat.
“Tell ya what, Rekan, you find yourself a few more facts and you can teach me even more about them after I give your Mama her first-meal. How’s that sound?”
“More fishie facts!” He exclaimed with glee, his paws in the air as he rocked back in his chair before plunging straight back into his book. My paw slipped beneath his bowl, scooping a fresh serving into it before gently nuzzling the studious pup’s crown on my way to the stairs. His happy whistles faded as I plodded up the old wooden steps, stopping for a moment at the door to mine and Rensa’s room, my paw hovering above the door-slide as I listened for any sign that she’d stirred.
I didn’t hear any.
The door whined as I gently slid the door aside and found her awake, staring at her cupped paws with a vacant expression. Her ears swung in my direction as I stepped in, only for a moment, while I did my best to keep my voice positive as I approached with food in paw. “Good Waking, Sweetheart.”
A small, grumbled ‘Good Waking, Love’ was all she could muster for me as she stared at the black bead cradled in her paw.
So soon?
“Your leg feeling any better?” I whispered as I set the bowl of scramble and glass of water on the bedside before gently taking my place at her side.
“Not really.” She hissed, her voice distant as an unladen paw kneaded at the border of her wool and the leg’s interface plate, squeezing her eyes shut and drawing in a long breath before shaking her head, her tail bobbing a succinct >Not at all.<
“Maybe some food will help.” I whispered, gently trading the bead for her bowl and skewer and setting it on the bedside before softly pressing my snout to her’s.
She was quiet, staring into her food for a long moment, her eyes puffy and orange. >Don’t think so. Gone.<
Tears pooled at the corner of my eyes, burning like firefruit oil as I twined my tail around what little of hers hung over the side of the bed, squeezing tight as I could to ground my wife to what of this world, of our family, we had left. Her paws moved, slowly poking the skewer into the food before raising it to her mouth, and then again and again before the bowl and glass were empty.
“I…” Rensa let out a small sigh, setting the bowl on the old bedside with a loud clunk before her tail squeezed, weakly, back into mine. “Th-Thank you, Love.”
“It’s ok, Sweetheart.” I replied, leaning into her side and soaking in the silence that stifled the space between us. She sucked in a pained gasp as her free paw found its way back to the remains of her leg, clutching the wool tight. “W-Were the meds helping any, last paw?”
>Yes.< Her tail flicked slowly, almost reluctantly as I watched tears gather in the folds of her squinted eyes.
I rose, gently nuzzling her crown with a forlorn mewl before guiding her paw back to mine for a moment, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be right back.”
I hate to see her like this, more than I hate seeing her drifting a while. At least then she’s not crying from the pain. Not suffering…
I rushed to the bathroom, ripping open the closet and retrieved the damned bottle. A single pill tumbled into my paw, the remainder clacking noisily against the sides as I slipped them back into the box they had been stowed in. The little tan capsule churned my stomach as I looked down at it, horrid memories sprouting in my mind. The memories of the paw of the accident and the herds after it where she was despondent, from the pills and the loss of her career.
If those two are gone…
My tail shuddered, trying to shake the creeping vines of despair free from my heart at the thought before I drew in a deep breath, steeling myself and stepping back into the bedroom. Rensa stared up at me as I approached, her eyes filled with worry as I settled back down on the bed beside her, holding the pill out on my paw. She hesitated, her tail curling as her attention slid from me down to the proffered pill before her eyes squeezed shut and her paw seized as hard as her leg, digging her claws into her pads with a low, pained mewl.
“Please, Sweetheart…” I trailed off, my paw sliding over hers to try and calm her squeezing claws from hurting herself further. I’d seen her draw her own blood far too many times.
A soft gasp sucked into her mouth as she leaned forward, wrapping her paws around me with a stifled cry before accepting the pill and downing it with a sip from her glass. “I-I’m sorry, Love.”
“It’s ok, Sweetheart.” I soothed, pulling her close to me as I ran my paws through her wool, doing my best to drive the sorrow burrowing in my heart away. “It’s ok…”
Her sobs began to fade as the medicine took hold, her arms slackening around me a little before she let out a harrowingly familiar, relieved sigh. “Thhhank you, Taikel…”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer in kind as I pulled her closer, fighting away the tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. Instead I settled on easing her back on the bed before gently nuzzling her snout, receiving a passive mumble of acknowledgement as I stood from the bedside, stopping to stare down at the black bead on the bedside, quietly pawing it before I padded through the door to the upper landing. I paused. Took a breath. And another. Willing myself to stifle the rattle in my throat before I faced my son again. There was little more I could do for her right now; at least the meds might let her sleep for a while longer.
The stairs beneath my paws clicked and creaked between the amazed whistles and beeps of Renkel still at the island meeting my ears; most certainly still enamored with his book. Quietly I found my way to the hearth, doing my best not to alert the pup as I gently opened the Heartwood box Rensa and I had made when we’d married, staring down into the void-black padding at the singular circle of white, Amarek wood at its center.
When we’d made it her father had insisted that, according to tradition, this was where it was meant to be, in the middle of everything else in your life. That the chest that held your darkest days should live with the rest of your joy until it would in turn join the others in the tapestry of your life.
We’d only ever used one since we’d married… I had hoped we wouldn’t need anot-
No. Not until you know.
My ears battered away the despair sprouting in my chest as the bead slipped into place, standing in stark contrast to the brilliant wood encircling it like an eye peering back up at me while the lid slowly closed over it, shielding the burrow from the pain it held. I pulled in a quiet breath before turning, squeezing my eyes shut again to hold back the tears I knew were just one bad assumption, one errant thought, one horrid message away from spilling forth.
The pup whirled around as I stepped behind him, peering over his shoulder to see what new tidbits of information he was foraging for this time. A new picture of the massive fish was spread across the page, this one taken from above the water looking over the side of some vessel staring down at the animal through glimmering, crystal clear waters.
“I wonder if Chris has ever seen a whale shark! That’d be so cool!” Renkel exclaimed, his tail zipping back and forth excitedly as he tapped at the page. “I bet he’s been all over the carry-bean!”
A pang of grief flashed through my heart at the mention of the missing pair, the feeling festering for a long, gut wrenching moment before I whispered to him over his shoulder. “I’ll bet he has, son, and I bet he’ll be happy to tell you all about it when they get back!”
Then if they c- When. WHEN they come home, I’m going to give them both ears so full the stars above will hear everything I’ve got to say.
And then some.
---
Memory Transcription Subject: Taisa, Venlil Starship Engineer, Crystal Star Shipping Co-Owner
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 19th, 2136
Another paw of sun-scorched hell. Stars, I hope Mama and Papa are alright….
The pad in my paws was still harrowingly silent as I gazed down at the screen, a trail of my own messages dotting their way up the screen had gone unanswered these last two paws. Letting them know that we’d made it out safe, what we’d been doing, when I thought we’d be home…
Polani shook and shuddered as Chris brought her around again, shaking me from my thoughts as we passed over charred, smoldering tracts of forests on the eastern side of the crash site that looked like little more than blasted ashen sticks. It’d been a sleepless night as we rushed to help quench the fire the Glorious Pyre and the Twilight Star’s drives set when they’d crashed. The U.N. had leapt to invoke our contract again, putting us to work shuttling material, equipment and water to put out the inferno that threatened Chris’ home and the surrounding areas. Thankfully they hadn’t sent any Arxur for us to shuttle!
The fact that they were here. That they were helping. That they’d even showed up to Humanity’s defense in the first place was… it was unthinkable!
Every stray glance I was forced to see them, every plodding step they took, every reverberating growl of their horrid language and every time I caught one of them staring at me like I was little more than a cut of meat to hunt, to chase, to toy with… Sent shivers down my spine and out my tail.
I hated it.
Hated them.
Hated what I’d seen them do on the Cradle, what one of them had done to me. What one of them had made Chris do to protect me. Hated what they’d made us have to see, hear, and live through. It didn’t matter what they were here for, it bought no good will of mine. Chris promised to protect me again if we got assigned to moving any of them, that he’d happily put another bullet in one of them before chancing the possibility of losing someone else.
Annabelle.
He, and the rest of his family, were still holding out hope that they’d find her and the rest of her bunker beneath what little was left of what had been the outskirts of London. I wanted to be hopeful with them, to pray and call and beg to every star I could see, every star I could name for her to have been spared but… but the pictures didn’t look good. The scattered rubble that had once been so many Human cities left the bitter taste of bile and sorrow in my mouth as I thought about the millions of lives the federation I’d once believed in had snuffed out in a flash.
The monsters I’d once championed had tried to take everything from Chris, from his Family, from all of us. From Me. They’d stolen parents from their children, shattered families, people, communities and cultures that they’d turned to ash in the wake of their failure. So much gone, so much destroyed, so much lost, so much taken.
Taken.
Because of their fear. Because of their hatred. Because of their cowardice.
Because of their weakness.
“At least the fires are out.” Chris sighed, the long, forlorn sound gently pulling me from the anger simmering in my chest. “Ma, Pa, an’ Ryan’ll be alright, so long’s the Peacekeepers actually do their job with trackin’ down those… stragglers.”
“Let them burn or let them rot for all I care.” I grumbled, staring out the viewscreen down at the devastated countryside below; images of Chris’ family, tears in their eyes as they huddled around their TV looking for any information they could find about Annabelle. “It’s the least they’d wanted to do to us.”
“‘Much as they fuckin’ deserve it…” His voice cracked as a flash of concern passed over his face while he glanced over at me, hesitating for a moment before responding. “Probably for the best we don’t reinforce what everyone the arm over already thinks of us.”
>Fair.<
“‘Specially not the new friends we picked up, doubt the Zurulians would be particularly big fans of Humans doing… that to prisoners.” He sighed, righting Polani from her bank before guiding her nose around, across the horizon, and back towards Blacksburg, the hum of her thrusters building to a mournful, crackling wail as they pushed us onward. “For now though, let's get some food in us; Ma’s bound to have something good.”
My tail twitched at the idea of a belly full of Darlene’s wonderful red beans and rice to try and take my worried mind off of the world of ash and fire smoldering around us as a meek mewl slipped from my mouth. “Thank you, Love.”
I swear to the stars above:
I’ll get even for what they’ve done.
[Advance Transcription by Time Unit: 1.5 Hours]
The comfortingly warm weight of Darlene’s cooking settled in my stomach as I sunk back into the chair, my tail wrapped tight around Chris’ leg. Darlene stared through the window out at the pasture beyond, passively scrubbing grime and grit away from the white pot in her hands as the sound of running water filled the air.
“Where’s Ryan now?” Chris grumbled as he scooped another mouthful of meat, beans and rice from his bowl.
“Out ‘helping’ ‘gain.” Darlene sighed, setting the pot on her drying rack with a ringing clang as she turned to point a wooden spoon at an empty plaque on the wall. “At least Cobb’s gon’ go out with ‘im.”
“Boy went out an’ got hisself hurt on ‘nother planet and now he’s damned well set to go on ‘n get hurt again on this’n.” Michael grunted, anger in his voice as he flicked through article after article on the pad sitting on the counter in front of him. “‘Tween those fire-crazy exterminators and these god-damned lizards I ‘on’t find myself thinkin’ this shit’s hardly a good idea.”
“Pa’, come on, you know how he fe-” Chris started, swallowing his food as he leaned forward over the counter, his response cut short by the ringing chimes sounding out from both of our pads.
TO: CRYSTAL STAR SHIPPING
FROM: THOMAS ASHFORTH
NORFOLK AID PICKUP
Your services are required to move the personnel and material listed in the attached manifest from the subject port to the following aid sites:
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 06
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 11
U.N. COALITION NEW YORK AID AND RESCUE CAMP - 14
Thank you,
Thomas Ashforth
U.N. Logistics Coordinator
A manifest was attached, listing off everything from pallets of food, medical supplies, material for expanding the aid camps, a pawful of Zurulians and U.N. staff an-
Oh Stars.
My blood ran cold as my tail tightened around Chris’ ankle, a small, weak, terrified mewl weeping from my snout at the sight of the final thing on the list.
Arxur Volunteers.
A low growl built at my side as Chris stared down at his pad, his fists tightening around the pad until his knuckles were white with the strain. “Rat fucking bastards.”
>We have to.<
He nodded, his mouth tight with anger as the scrape of his stool sounded across the room while he rose to his feet. His hair tossed about as he shook his head, doing his best to drive off whatever thoughts were raging behind his eyes as he looked over to me, gently slipping his leg free from my tail before he marched to his room, Roscoe’s wagging tail close at his side. The comforting, familiar thump of his boots on hardwood marked his return just as fast as he’d left, the glint of his pistol holstered across his chest and the soft shine of the rifle hanging from his shoulder telling me everything I needed to know.
“Together?”
“Together.”
---
Memory Transcription Subject: Rensa, Venlil Farmer & Ex-Exterminator, Venlil-Human Exchange Host
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 20th, 2136
Fire’s gone. Pain. Gone. Daughter. Taisa. Gone.
My mind swam as I stared at the stars high above the Warren, drifting in a sea of white, black, and gray, feeling little but the chill of the glass of gin resting in my paw alongside the whispering cold of twilight’s winds. The occasional drift of odd colors floated through the air, harvesting my attention from the morass of nothing that had filled this paw and the one before it. Warbling sound filled my ear, vibrating the left side of my vision and sending new waves of kaleidoscopic colors across the sky.
I was hallucinating again. It’d been a while.
Dr. Poreth had told me a long time ago not to mix; it hadn’t stopped me then and it certainly couldn’t stop me now. Besides, they were a far better distraction than anything else I had right now. So instead I sit and stare at the sky, watching the pretty colors.
They were just as real as anything else.
A tide of messages from Taisa had bolted through my pad early this waking, from before the bombing. Each one the last I’d ever hear from her. The last words I’d ever see from my darling daughter. Renkel still didn’t understand, the pup happily chirping away about when they’d be back, about his next paw at school and about going with Taikel to one of the shelters in a claw or so to try and help ‘keep their spirits up’. Through the haze I envied him, wishing and pleading to Polani that I could have that same youthful hope.
Even if it would just be cut down by the scythe of the real world.
The glass in my paws slips away as the wavering rays of the sun are blocked, quickly replaced by another, and a soft nuzzle on my crown. Taikel’s wavering voice floated across my ears, still filled with mournful sorrow. I can’t make out the words but Renkel’s upbeat whistles tell me enough; they’re off to the shelter.
Barely seems worth it with them gone.
I weakly return the nuzzle, barely leaving my chair with my leg feeling like little more than juicefruit pulp as Taikel’s shadow slips past me, Renkel asking something I can’t quite make out past the fog.
So strong, stronger than me.
The rumble of the truck’s engine shuddering to life sends waves of green across my vision, accompanied by the crunch of gravel following after it before it fades into the distant hum of tires on the road. Alone again. The fog falls back in around me, stifling the sounds of nature that had begun to creep in at the edges of my mind. I sink again, staring up at the sky, watching the drifting colors and clouds as I sip at the liquid fire in my glass.
At least it helped smother the fire eating my leg and dull the storm in my mind.
The sound of my pad letting out a painfully familiar chime on the table split the air, stirring me from my stupor to clumsily paw at it to go silent. The offending sound faded, replaced by the isolating silence that I’d craved; at least in it I didn’t have to think about what I’d lost.
About the tricks my mind was playing on me.
A long, deliberate sigh fell from my snout as I pressed my paw into the thready wool near the stump that’d once been my leg, trying to push the pain away as best I could before reaching, once again, for my gin. Before my paw met the star-slicked glass flanks my pad bleated out the same, mocking chime.
A growl built in my throat as I grasped at it, angrily hurling the offending electronic phantom what few tails my numb shoulder could manage.
Another trick of my mind
Another message from Taisa’s ghost.
Another claim that the Arxur were ‘helping’ them.
Another promise of them coming home when they were done.
Another mote of hope sprouted before being ripped from my grasp.
Another paw of despair.
Another river of tears.
Another dose.
---
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god i hated working here. i didn't even make it a full year! here's some fun things that has happened for the past almost year: i decided to befriend a coworker who was a shift. we had a trans partner who she said it was "hard to see a guy" and whenever we corrected her on pronouns she would say "he, she whatever" when confronted, she guilt tripped us about how we're ruining her life and started balling her eyes out
coworker of mine, not from america. it was me and him and our store manager in the back and he started going on a rant about the LGBTQ and religion. he told me to find god and he'll save me (i'm not religious). he pushed his religion on me and made me watch a five minute video of a guy reading the quran. he told me that by being gay, my only two options in life were to live my life as a woman, or find god and be a strong man again.
i once, recently, told this same guy "yo mama" and kept repeating it because he said "what is that" every time i repeated it. he got into my face and tried to teach me respect by saying he will rip my mouth off. nothing was done about either situation because the two of us had different cultures and the other incident happened "too long ago" (i didn't report it to my sm at the time cause i didn't want to get him in trouble).
regular would sit his car in the crossed lines by the handicap parking and just sit in there for almost an hour before parking and coming in. everyone else knew his order, i didn't, he thought i was new (i had worked there for seven months before i finally saw him come in). he insisted you said hi back to him no matter how busy you looked. "i said hi?"
i got tendinitis and got mocked when i complained i was in pain. "why does he get to get off bar" "why does he get to go home" "oh my back hurts you don't see me complaining"
"why do you upcharge on non dairy milk! i shouldn't be upcharged for not wanting innocent animals to die!" MAAAM. i just work here 🥺
yesterday was my last day. someone stole my glasses.
if you're my coworker and see this, no you didn't. 😃👍

I like to insert myself in a series when I watch one to see how I would react in their situations, and all the turns and choices these characters make stress me out so much.
Simon's lack of communication with Daphne, Eloise risking so much with Theo and possibly ruining him too, Colin not decidido what Pen is to him and oh my gosh don't even get me started with Kate and Anthony's ins and outs every S2 chapter.
I get it, we need drama! They're not me! Its going to end well anyway! But oh my, don't I want to slap them sometimes. JUST PICK A SECURE MATCH ALREADY DAMMIT.
I find Francesca a breeze of fresh air, she's not looking for a crazy passionate romance or just a guy with money, she just wants someone she's compatible with. That's the approach I relate the most with for the time period they're living in.
I thought I would relate to more characters but turns out I'm a Mama. I get you Violet, kids these days smh.

I’m mainly also thinking about some heartfelt OST songs and artists featured in Immortal Song or Hee-yeol’s Sketchbook, will try to list more singers below.
I always struggle to find anyone who are also into slower songs that are not the typical boyband/girlgroup Dance or Upbeat songs.
Calling them K-pop always lead people to ask me “Oh do you like Newjeans, Aespa, etc”, but in fact I don’t listen to those as much.
I’m not even sure if these artists have their own fandom pages and I realize they sing more than just one genre but it’s definitely not what the public refers to as “K-pop”, is it Ballad?
Some artists that come to mind: (not exhaustive) - Big Mama - So Hyang - IU - Yong Jae - Huh Gak - Kim Feel - DAVICHI - Kim Bum Soo - Ailee - Kwon Jin Ah

I have no idea if i’m just a teenager but like ahh i feel super crazy. i decided to try to start getting to know myself and let myself be a person and change the way i think and wanting to be able to love myself and be good with myself pretty recently(2mo?) but immediately after consciously trying to have a growth mindset .. my perspective started changing and i kept trying to push the change and see it as a good thing … i still am trying this and love it using fear as a compass lol and not an enemy it’s not - but it didn’t take too long and i started talking to this person i had virtually met before but i mean at the time i was still very okay with being uncomfortable with myself in a bad way but then at the end of last month we started talking.. and pretty much after one call i didn’t find myself annoyed or distasteful and we kept talking. within a week we went from just hanging out every day to literally always being together aside from the times he works 40 hrs… and part of me felt like that was probably bad but there wasn’t any other red flags and i have been deciding to stay that way .. i’ve just never felt so sure. it’s crazy. like i feel like i have always been wanting to just MESS UP every relationship.. like keeping things to blame against them and lies to make myself feel guilty and basically just always undermining and things like that.. which i think had multiple reasons but i feel like when he talks about his past i just connect so much and want him to be okay and not be hurt and like i love hearing him talk about anything as long as he’s communicating and he’s so supportive and i want to support him and he just makes me smile like it’s hard to be sad and look at the face that i have just really became conscious of how much i love every part of it!! anyway i like have thoughts that yk aren’t aligning but i think thoughts are just that and i have been trying to talk to myself so ik that the urge to self destruct is just that - just an urge, not reality, and knowing that is so helpful basically i just feel the ability to fully be myself and try to figure out who that is and part of me keeps doubting- there’s a lot too doubt- and that literally just feels like a confirmation of my feelings.. bc like the fact that i’m doubting instead of not feeling anything or mad i am taking it positively—
am okay ANYWAY i love over explaining but i feel like there can’t be enough background lol - anyway he started saying my name instead of calling me mama or baby recently - and oh. !? my god !??? i didn’t realize how like people only say my name when they are upset with me but like the spear that went though me and like the sheer amount of feeling like it makes me so uncomfortable and happy and scared and loved and unsettled and seen i don’t know. like i feel like my relationship with myself ofc it’s been so foreign i knew that but confronting it and moving into it feels so crazy.. i don’t know if im just super gay !??? but i also feel like im starting to be comfortable with myself and him and loving him and him loving me it’s just so like much it’s so much like my whole body is talking it on and i guess that makes sense that feeling my emotions would do that i didn’t think that i was also suppressing good emotions but THAT MAKES SENSE omg 😭😭 it makes sense lowkey like ofc bottling everything up literally is avoiding feeling it and everything so trying to be emotionally intelligent and allowing myself to feel gets me these positive emotions i’m pretty sure that what i am feeling is loved and i haven’t ever felt this much love or genuine love. like i’m so thankful i have him to leverage because it’s helping me actually love myself. like just a little support so when i break it’s not just me every time and the love is multiplied!!! he gets to me and i let him and it feels so good ig this is just how i feel i just don’t fully know about why i feel so strongly with my name like it feels insanely foreign and very strong.