I planned to send this along with everything she ever gave me, and everything she left in my possession. I had a therapy session and now I am having second thoughts.
The tldr of our relationship is that she treated me with such a pattern of intermittent reinforcement, withholding and breadcrumbing, that I inevitably began to believe I was the problem. I definitely engaged in reactively abusive behavior as well.
At one point it got to be too much, and I had to break up with her, but not because I wanted to. Because I did not like how I was acting towards her and feeling.
We tried to get back together, but after she told me she had started dating someone else right in front of me after only vaguely asking for a return to polyamory, I had a total breakdown and she dumped me over a text. She had me apologizing over and over for things that weren't even my fault at heart. I believed that I was the sole abuser for months. I had to completely cut myself off from everything and everyone we had in common just to even get a chance at mentally moving on. I can't help but think that not speaking my mind and holding this in will continue to kill me inside forever if I do not send it:
I felt it important to give these items back to you before I move away. I'll be moving to Pennsylvania at the end of the summer.
On this SD card are all of the pictures of your facial surgery recovery I took, and all of the pictures I had from our time together. I don't know if you want them, but at least I can know I tried to give them to you. I unblocked you on every platform a few months ago, but I'm not going to reach out again after this. Now that I'm stable, sober, and detached, I can actually mean that.
I'm not sure any of this will mean anything to you, but life is too short to not say it.
From the very beginning, you treated me with a pattern of intermittent reinforcement. It allowed a trauma bond to form. You called it a feedback loop. That's just a nicer name for a trauma bond.
The way you withheld affection and initiation from me and breadcrumbed me is emotional abuse. After the 3rd or 4th time I tried to bring it to your attention healthily, the way I began to plead with frustration, passive aggression and anger in protest responses was reactive abuse.
The love I had for you was very much real though, neither of us can deny that. I tried so damn hard to show it with my actions. Caring for you through your surgery, selling my cards with the intent to help you pay for it, bringing you that deer plushie to your door at the depth of your depression, dropping everything and exhausting myself to help you move twice when I didn’t need to. You told me you had never loved anyone as much as you loved me. I was undyingly committed to you, yet you kept returning to the same pattern until you had me acting like a dog doing tricks and thinking every issue was my fault.
What I wanted never, ever changed. All I ever wanted was consistent reinforcement. Never did I get that. I did not deserve to be gaslit that I was the only problem and discarded as though all I was was a narcissist.
I can hope you might be able to extend me a modicum of empathy, as I did for you over and over. I hope you can see how seeing you start another relationship while ours was on life support reactivated every fear I had of continued breadcrumbing. I hope you can maybe see how vague "emotional intimacy with certain friends" sounds. How it meant something other to me than just forcing us immediately back into kitchen table polyamory. How being that vague wasn't being "forward, positive and communicative through this whole process". How in a loud, crowded room, when I was running on an hour of sleep, I might not handle that well. I just wanted to try to rebuild security and safety in our relationship before one of us started another one, but being treated like you treated me makes one so insecure and confused. Being treated like that breaks people. I hope you can understand all of that.
I can at least move on knowing I was always honest about how I felt, even if the way I expressed it was overwhelming for you, and even if the way I had to cut myself off from everything we shared to move on, our mutual friends, my job, felt drastic to you. I knew what I needed.
It's not codependency, limerence, manipulation, fantasy or putting you on a pedestal to acknowledge I can wish only the best for you and your life, even if you don't care about me at all anymore. That is how it is, free of expectation. You have to accept it too, that you have an ex who will carry a touch of love for you in the back of their heart for the rest of their life.
Sending this was my very last part of letting go. I have to give everything back to heal from what you put me through. I'll always wish things between us played out differently and that we had both made different choices, but I can accept the way it ended now. If you ever feel anything about me and I hear from you, even if it's decades from now, I'll respond with only calm joy. I'll always carry regret that we couldn't fix things between us before it became terminally unhealthy and broke us both.
I loved you (ex's name). I still do and always will. Every facet of you, every quality of you, and all of your flaws. Even if you don't feel anything for me anymore. Even if the way you treated me damaged me. Even if I never see your face, or hear your voice again.
I cannot think of a way to move on from this other than saying these things and purging her memories from my life. I live with such guilt and trauma over this. Please, anyone, any advice is helpful.

Back story here.
My (32m) partner (33f) met a guy online 4 years ago on a game she played, one night I found messages on her phone and confronted her..she ended things with him and everything was fine for a while, she continued playing the game but had him blocked and moved to another server.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year and I started to get suspicious... Full disclosure, I'm pretty confident everytime I've FELT something isn't right..I've been right, even if it's taken time to find out. Anyways... She had a week off work and on the final day I told her I was going to work at home, she got a bit agitated and told me it's her last day alone (we have kids) and she wants to just enjoy the peace, this set alarm bells ringing, so before I went to work I set an old phone recording audio, came home, played it back, heard her moans and then heard his voice (they were video calling)
I confronted her straight away, after hours of back and forth, she admitting she'd been talking to him again for around 18 months in and off, met him twice (lives far away) and tried several times to cut it off with him but he kept talking her round. I eventually said we'd start again and things were ok for a few weeks, for the past few months I've been thinking about things that I'd like to know but I don't really want to dig up the past...I've checked her phone maybe 3-4 times in the past 4 months and found nothing, the last time I told myself to stop because obviously it's ended.
Today I came home, shed been home with only our youngest, I'd noticed her hair looking rather nice and asked her if she'd showered and she said yes (this sounds so weird but she the kinda person who will go a while without showering unless she's working, which she isn't currently as she has a week off) I tried not to think too much about it...went to our room to get changed and couldn't find the clothes I left out, I found them on the floor on the other side of the bed and noticed my side (near the door and with most space) had been completely cleared, odd...anyway...we ate, put the kids to bed and then watched TV..she undressed so quick and leaned over while walking and got into bed and covered up...I was watching to see if she had shaved, because again...unless its for a special occasion she diesnt bother much...I managed to workout she had shaved her legs and trimmed her bikini line, she has also plucked her eyebrows.
I can't help thinking her moving the stuff from the floor...shaving...eyebrows...was to send him pictures... Because that's what would have happened in the past...
I know how these things sound 'omg how dare she shower' but I'm going from past experience here...are my worries logical or am I just torturing myself...
Tl;Dr my partner is repeating actions she did when fooling around, am I thinking into it too much or does it make sense

My side of the family was disabled and we are all really kind empathetic people, smart, but me and dad just happen to be dwarfs.
Dad was kicked out of the family company because covert narc grandma decided no one would take the company seriously if one of the brothers that owned it was a dwarf. So dads narc brother loved the idea! They changed everything and waited until dad couldn’t do anything about it and kicked him out.
20 years later we are in poverty because grandma wants to control my side of the family and waited to cut off his income until he had two disabled kids and couldn’t get a new job. He was screwed.
The kicker? The narc uncle I have that went along with it? He would scream at dad all the time “I’m going to have to take care of you my entire life !” Because after stealing the entire re company narc grandma demanded a portion of the company profits pay for rent for our family.
I was chosen as the new scapegoat to replace my father.
And they all kept trying to get me to lose my job at a law firm, after graduating from an Ivy League law school on a full ride (despite no funding growing up on section 8) because …. “You won’t last there it’s not a place for kids. You need to accept your disability and just let me take care of you. They just gave you the scholarships and the 180,000 a year job because they felt sorry for you and you’ll be let go soon” - grandma
And you know what’s the kicker ? After I obviously left and told her to fuck off not one uncle or grandkid told grandma how terrible she is for discriminating against me is.
“She was just trying to help.”
No she wasn’t.
Nor was uncle that stole my dads shares helping.
Nor helping when he rubbed his hands in his hair and laughed at me saying… exchange:
Uncle: you need to start taking care of your grandma I’m working
Me: I am to. Go get your brother or your kids to help her .
Uncle: we ALL are advancing our careers stop pretending we can do it
Me: I make more than any other grandkid in the family what the hell?
Uncle: laughs and runs his hands through his hair “oh you can’t be serious. A few years isn’t going to randomly make you not disabled and if you’d not stop talking nonsense we won’t help you when you get fired “
I went to fucking Cornell law. Fuck all of you assholes

for some background, i'm 17 year old trans guy with 2 years of t. my partner is a non-transitioning afab enby. their only transition was changing their name to a gender neutral one.
the thing is, my social transition is kinda complicated. i'm in a very grey area because of things like; i live in a very transphobic 3rd world country, my family isn't that supportive, i don't know how my friends pre-transition will react (and kinda scared being disappointed). i'm not even visiting my grandparents because they'll be shocked how much i changed in a few years (though my grandma realized voice change). i pass let's say 80% of the time (it really depends on my hair) and my deadname is rather unisex so if i'm perfectly masculine, then it's not something people can clock me only with it.
i was reading a message from a friend that consisted my deadname. they immediately told me it's so strange that i still go by that name. but the thing is, i'm not choosing this. they always judge other enbies who use their "deadnames" so i kinda predicted what they tried to say and i felt too much of disappointment. it's not that i enjoy being called my deadname, i already have a name and i use it with understanding people. but i don't have the mental to explain myself to people why i want them to use it right now. because it's fucking draining.
even convincing my parents to not call me their daughter was draining enough. and after 2 years of t and 4 years of half-hearted social transition, my mum still feels uncomfortable and makes me uncomfy too whenever i mention i'm a guy. i don't even know if i will hear her call me her son before i die. i know i'm being kinda doomer here but when i tell them it's hard to be trans, i mean it. it's fucking draining.
i told them the weird thing is them telling me that, that i have already things to deal with it and them wanting to be called a unisex name isn't the same with me wanting to be called a male name. they said okay, they understood but i still felt annoyed and idk generally disappointed. i don't think not wanting to deal with people RIGHT NOW makes me less of a guy but idk. what you guys think? am i overreacting?

I have very rudimentary knowledge of vfx, but part of the fun for me is learning as I go. With that being said, I wanted to know what steps do I need to take to bring this idea to life. I want to make a video of me sitting in a barbers chair, but I’m also the barber cutting my own hair. Is that a possibility? Where can I learn the steps to this?

I’m a highschooler graduating this year so me and my mom went to look at some white dresses. I found this flowy but simple one at Wilfred called the Beaufort Dress and I loved it so much. I went to go try it on and at first I was very scared it wouldn’t fit because I have been trying to not restrict or binge (recover), so I had been maintaining my weight. It was a size xs but it did fit with room. I was so happy with it but I looked at my mom’s face and she was not as happy as me. She told me to go try on the other dress because if I wanted to wear THIS dress I would have to cut the carbs. She told me she could see the outline of fat thighs. Recently she has been commenting on my thighs and how big they are, but I tried to ignore it. I laughed it off and I told her I still wanted it but she told me we shouldn’t buy the first dress we see. The next day somehow the dress came up again. She kept urging me to pick something else like she was ashamed of how fat I was. The thing is, I am still technically underweight and she’s very overweight I explained to her I really loved this dress but this time she doubled down and told me I couldn’t wear it because of my thighs that bulged out and that I should start exercising again, like when I used to be into restricting where I would do it severely. I went into my room to cry and later she and my dad came in both laughing at me while my dad recorded me with his flash on. I got upset and so I got up and told my dad to stop recording in which he laughed some more and ran out my room, stepping on this huge graphite piece I’d been working on for my Artclass final, and when he stepped on the work I was so proud of and I’d spent hours on I started completely bawling and they finally let me be. Today I told her I was hurt by what she said and that I knew she would never tell my brothers to lose weight and cut out carbs for their graduation, but she ignored what I said. I felt so hurt and I tried really hard to forgive my parents during the weekend but I just feel so betrayed and hurt. I cried for a long time. They don’t know how much pain I was in when I was skinnier and struggling with binge eating, and how hard it was for me to try recovery again, so I felt so alone. I’m not sure what to do, and I’d like to know how to proceed next.

Me (24F) and my ex D (24M) were together for 1.5 years. We were in the same friend group in university and when we graduated, we both accepted job offers at the same company on different teams and moved in together. The third person in this sequence of events is R (25M) who was also in our university friend group and works in the same city. It was known in our group that he had a crush on me but I friendzoned pretty early on and he seemed respectful of me and D’s relationship. I thought my and D’s relationship was great and I felt so loved when I was with him but T surprisingly came to our place one day and said he had to tell me something when D went home to visit his parents for the weekend. He showed me photos of D hugging another girl and having a lunch date with her. I couldn’t see the other girl’s face in the photos and it was someone with red hair so I knew it wasn’t anyone we knew and it was clear to me that D was cheating. I didn’t even text or call D, I just packed all my things, wrote “I know” on a sticky note and put it on our dining table, took my car and left. I stayed at T’s place while I looked for a new place and he was my shoulder to cry on during this time. I let all of her friends know what happened and D was basically excommunicated from our friend group, despite him telling me and our friends that he never cheated. He asked me for what proof I had and I said I had pictures. I refused to send him the pictures I had from T and told him that he knew what he did and he would just lie and gaslight me if he saw the pictures. No one listened to him and he stopped trying to reach me or our friends after a few days after he came back from his parent’s place. Me and T started dating a month later.
Last week aka almost 10 months after I ghosted D, I ran into his cousin who studies at a nearby university. I always loved D’s relationship with her. She treated D like an older brother and she looked up to him so much, it was lovely to see that bond. I got to know her somewhat during my relationship with D but we never spoke after the breakup as she went away from a semester abroad and I was busy in my new relationship with T. We made plans to meet up for coffee and catch up. I assured her that no matter what happened between me and D, she was always welcome to reach out to me and I wanted to remain in touch if she was okay with that. She thanked me and told me that D never told her why we broke up and she wanted to know. I told her bluntly that D cheated on me. She was shocked but asked more questions like if I knew who the other girl was and so on. I told her I couldn’t see her face in the photos and all I knew is that it was someone with red hair. Her look changed immediately once she heard that and she looked upset. She reminded me that she had dyed her hair red around a year ago and there was a good chance that this other girl was actually her. I was shocked by this and more shocked that I didn’t remember she had red hair especially since we had met at least twice during her red hair period. I showed her the pictures and she also showed me pictures she had a waiter take of D and her when they went out for lunch a little under a year ago. The pictures were definitely taken on the same day and the girl I thought D was cheating with turned out to be his own cousin and he was completely innocent in all this.
Later that evening, I confronted T and asked if he knew that D’s cousin was the girl in the picture. T and D’s cousin have met before as D used to invite her to go out with our friend group whenever she was free. I asked T if this was all his elaborate plan to get me to finally go out with him by making me believe D was cheating, being there for me to make me think he would be a better partner. T admitted to everything including having pictures where D’s cousin’s face was also showing that he didn’t show me. I broke up with him on the spot and kicked him out of my apartment.
I felt so guilty for what I did to D. He lost his girlfriend, all his friends, and his relationship with his parents suffered over this. I knew at that moment that I was ready to do whatever it takes to get him back. I unblocked him on all my social media and I saw him. He had gained some muscle, grown out his hair and beard, he looked so handsome. He had reconnected with some of his high school friends that worked in the area. I saw that he was promoting his side business that he had always talked about starting. He had also been dating someone else, a barista at a local cafe, for just over six months and they went to Paris for their six month anniversary. I felt so jealous when I saw she had posted photos with him in front of the Eiffel Tower. Just from the photos, you can see how much they love each other.
I told all of our friends that D never cheated and I was wrong. I messaged him and said I was sorry for how I ended our relationship and didn’t even give him a chance to explain the situation and would do anything to be together again. Our friends all wanted to write a group apology to him for throwing him to the curb in the way we did. D never blocked us so we knew we could definitely get through to him. We all drafted the message together and everyone signed off on it in a group chat with D. Even four days later, he never opened, saw, or responded to our apologies. Yesterday, I went to the part of our company where D works during lunch break to look for him. He was sitting alone in the cafeteria and so I went and asked if we could speak. He said there was nothing to talk about and asked me to leave. I apologized to him and and asked for just two minutes of his time. I told him that I knew he didn’t cheat and I apologized for not believing him months ago. He told me that he was dating someone new and had no interest in looking into the past. I made the mistake of blowing up on him here. I raised my voice and told him that he’s dating a barista, someone who makes minimum wage and he’s denying someone who works as an engineer in one of the top companies in the world for a f—ing barista, I asked what she can give him that I can’t, I said I’ve known him for six years and she has known him for six months. D just responded by saying she’s peaceful and that’s already worth more to him than anything I could offer. He said that my outburst showed him exactly why he would never take me back. I yelled “FU D” and got looks from the other people in the cafeteria. D didn’t say anything after that and just got up and left.
If I had any chance of getting back with D before, it’s definitely gone now. I haven’t been able to sleep or rest and I just keep crying. I would do anything to feel D’s warm embrace right now but I ruined it. I told some friends what happened and now everyone is bashing me. Am I wrong to try and get D back?

Machine Man was the last of a group of robots built by the US military for a secret weapons project. Raised like a son by one of the project leads, Dr. Abel Stack, Machine Man was thrust into a world not ready to accept him when Abel sacrificed his life to remove a built-in self destruct chip meant as a failsafe. Despite the government's persecution of his existence, he would become a superhero and honorary member of the Avengers, saving the lives of people no matter if they viewed him as a man or merely a machine.

Notes

• Source key and scaling threads can be found here
• This RT does not cover Machine Man’s feats from after his original body was destroyed and he was reuploaded into a new one, reactivating Sentinel programming Bastion left in him. An RT for this form can be found here
• This RT only covers the original incarnation) of Machine Man. Starting with Nextwave, Machine Man was given an altered design and personality that would later be retconned into being an “imposter” Machine Man in 2019's Marvel Comics #1001. This fact was referenced by the “imposter” himself in a later comic
• This RT doesn't cover Machine Man's 1984 run and related comics, as they take place in a possible future timeline (and thus, an alternate universe).
• To see feats for X-50, the X model robot immediately previous to X-51, go to this RT

Robotic Physiology

General

Body

• Weighs 850 pounds^MM19
• Claims to not feel pain in the same way a human does, even when parts of his body are being engineered or welded on^SO8
• His body can be disassembled, this doesn't appear to put him in any significant pain/distress^SO10
  • He can take his body parts off himself should the need arise^MM6 and of course reattach them with ease^IH236
  • Takes off part of his leg to use as a wedge underneath a large and heavy beam^MM15
  • Still functional even in a heavily disassembled maintenance state, though obviously can't do much^TB29
• His "brain unit" is able to be pulled out of his head, and he's still functional so long as it's not disengaged^MM4
  • Pulls out part of his leg to repair some damaged circuitry^IH235
• As a robot, he is unaffected by things like "breathing" in methane,^MM10 tear gas,^MM11 or sleeping gas^MM19
  • Seems to be unaffected by Ultron-10's hypnotic eyes^MTO93
  • Was unaffected by the Psycho-Prism until a specialized "refractory disc" was attached to him, the Psycho-Prism being a crystal powered by a strand of hair from the Purple Man that emits a pheromone used to control a person's will^ED
• His metallic body conducts electricity very well, which he commonly makes use of to harness nearby power sources^MM14 for subduing opponents^MTU99
• Can store his civilian clothes in his right thigh, and his collapsible helmet in his left leg^{MTU A3}
• Emits "unique bio-radiations" that can be detected by specialized equipment^MM18
• Has a considerable memory storage in his head, limbs, and upper abdomen^AWC83
• Can turn just his head fully around^{A3 1}
• Is apparently susceptible to corrosion in water^UXM371
• Had a fix to the Y2K bug installed in him^{X51 3}
• Runs on MS-DOS^DBB1

Mechanisms

• He "sleeps" by turning his power to low and setting a time on his internal clock to reactivate himself^MM7
• Can deactivate his weapon systems by taking off his facemask and pressing down on the model number on his forehead^MM9
• After he was downgraded to remove his overload failsafe, a hologram of Abel Stack appears to inform him that his internal programming could never be tampered with again^MM10
  • Despite this, after Bastion's nanotech repaired his body,^MMB he was reprogrammed to kill mutants like a Sentinel, though Cable was able to free him from this state^MMB
• Has an internal fail-safe mechanism that deactivates his non-essential power when he's heavily damaged, including his gravity negating abilities^MM15
• Can loosen his waist couplings, allowing the top half of his body to spin freely independent of his bottom half^MM16
  • Loosens every joint coupling on his body to spin in "thousands of different directions" at once^MM19
• Releases his head so it can fly around while his body is incapacitated^MM18
  • Pops out his head and hands to avoid and attack the Black Knight^A288
• Programmed all of his parts with a "boomerang effect", causing them to return to his body if they're taken off and thrown away^IM168

Extendable Limbs

Reach

• Extends his arm down a cliffside to grab a man, with bars on the side to act as a ladder^MM1
• Quickly extends both his arms upward and pulls himself up into a tree^MM4
• Extends up his arms to grab onto a helicopter, pulling himself up to it^MM4
• Pulls himself from a rooftop through a window in the building next to him^MM5
• Pulled himself up to through a ceiling, then grabs the edge of the building next to him to vault himself across its rooftop^MM6
• Stretches his arm out over a crowd of people to bonk a pickpocket's head^MM6
• Reaches high in the air to catch a baseball, then extends his arm out to tag a player before he can steal a base^MM9
• Reaches up to hold a collapsing ceiling^IH237
• Grabs a man as he's about to fall off a skyscraper^IH237
• Extends out his legs and arms to carry a group of people from ground level to the top of a cliff^MM10
• Grabs a hook attached to a helicopter and uses it to swing his body into said helicopter^MM16
• Grabs a man off the ground while holding himself up by the ceiling^MM18
• Uses his extended limbs to cross buildings^MM19
• Is shown walking over the Hudson River with extended legs^CoC1
• Extends his legs up to the third story of a building^IM168
• While being shot out of a cabin by his sole jets, and being in shock, extends his arm to grab Jocasta's head before he flies too far away^{IM A11}
• Extends his head hundreds of feet into the air^TB29
• Extends himself hundreds of feet into the air via his legs to grab onto a helicarrier and have his body act as a makeshift zipline, though holding this position for a prolonged period strains him significantly^XM
  • A flashback shows this as being much more impressive, showing his legs wrapped around a large rock, and his arms and neck extending to the helicarrier^{X51 2}

Fine Control

• Steadies himself on a cliff face using his legs and arms, and reaches out to a jet to open its cockpit before catching its pilot once he ejects and bringing him to the top of the cliff^MM10
• Slams a trash can over a man's head as he tries to run away, then flips him upside down^MM12
• While being pinned to the ground, reaches out and grabs a microphone from a man's hand^MM14
• After detaching his arm, throws it up to a woman falling from a helicopter and wraps it around her, then has it activate its gravity negation to bring her to the ground safely^MM16
• Lassos the Super-Adaptoid (disguised as the Fixer) over to him^A287

Offensive Usage

• Will extend his fist out^MM15 to increase his punching reach,^MM16 as a go-to tactic^MTU99 in combat^MM18
  • Trips a man with an extended kick^MM11
  • Smacks three goons simultaneously with one extended punch^MM16
  • Does a sweeping kick against a group of goons as he falls from the ceiling, then continues extending his limbs to attack^MM18
• Extends his body up via his legs forcefully enough to demolish a flying pod^SO9
• Wraps a detached arm around Hulk's neck^IH236
• Grabs a man and extends him high up with his arm as a threat^MM18
• While being struck away by Sasquatch, grabs his shoulders mid-flight and is able to launch an extended kick with both of his legs in retaliation^MM18
• Reaches under and around Sasquatch to grab him by the neck^MM18
• Quickly descends from the air by extending an arm to grab a roof, then retracting the arm bringing him down with it^IM168
• Cocoons a man by wrapping his arm around him^{X51 0}
• Wraps his arms around Hulk's body^{X51 1}
  • Shown again^{X51 12}

Gravity Negation

• Is capable of flight by "canceling the gravity equation" via anti-gravity technology. Here he uses a special grid to begin flying, but he's able to do it all by himself even within the same issue^SO8
• Cancels gravity around him after being thrown out of a building so that he floats in the air while his assailant falls to the ground^MM14
• Runs up a wall by negating gravity^MM16
• Just one of his arms is used to break a woman's fall from a helicopter and allow her to land safely^MM16
  • Machine Man is likewise able to fly just fine without this arm^MM16
• Can fly around as just a head^MM18
• Activates anti-gravity around his arms at max power within a nanosecond in order to halt Iron Man's fall, though the strain of doing so burns out three "anti-grav pods"^IM168
• Makes armbands from his body that use his anti-grav tech to make the wearer immune to Graviton's powers,^TB29 though they would burn out eventually in the fight^TB30
  • Seven of these armbands coming into contact with Graviton causes him to be depowered and collapse in on himself^TB30

Weaponry

• Fires his finger like a .357 magnum, then uses a miniature flamethrower built into his knuckles^{IM A11}
• Rapid fires bursts of energy(?)^{A A19}
• Shoots lasers from his fingers^DBB1

Electricity

• After taking some time to generate the attack, releases an electrical discharge that downs Ten-For, claiming it had enough power to light up a city for a week^MM6
• Causes a current of 1000 volts to go through a chainlink fence^MM12
• In anger, releases a burst of electricity that spreads outward, penetrating through a building and combining with lab chemicals that cause it to transform the five people it touches into powerful beings that would later be called "the Ethicals"^MM12
• Fires electrical blasts from his hand^MM12
• After connecting one hand to the power source of a street lamp, fires out a beam from his other hand to disrupt Ion's magnetic field, though he notes he can't do it for long^MM15
• Siphons energy from a helicopter's battery to electrocute the entire helicopter by being in direct contact with its hull, rendering Baron Brimstone unconscious^MM16
• Uses his own electrical current to blow every fuse in a bar after grabbing one of its lightbulbs^MM17

Magnetism

On Objects

• Can magnetize his boots, allowing him to walk right down a cliffside^MM1 or the side of a building^MM4
• Magnetizes his foot after kicking Ten-For to pull him away from a crowd of people, claiming that its magnetic enough to "pull him overseas"^MM5
• After being beaten into pieces by the Hulk, magnetizes his body back together, though the process was partially inhibited by the beating he took^IH235/236
• Charges a manhole cover with electrical energy and throws it, causing the metal on a man's belt to magnetize to the cover and leave him stuck to it as it flies back to Machine Man^MM12
• Magnetizes a bullet out of a man's chest^MM12
• After tapping into the generator controlling an elevator, surrounds the elevator in a positive charge and projects the same charge from his hands, causing the elevator to be pushed up away from him^MM13
• Magnetizes his hand to the roof of a car so he can hitch a ride and float behind it^MM19

Magnetic Fields

• Generates a magnetic field between his hands that traps Sasquatch in place, though it dissipates once Sasquatch makes him lose his balance^MM18
• Encases Jack O'Lantern in a magnetic field, which causes a grenade to explode inward due to not being insulated^MM19
• Generates an intense field of magnetic energy to fire out a powerful blast at Ultron-10 that launches him into another room^MTO93
• Diverts Iron Man Model 4's repulsor beams by covering himself in a magnetic field^IM168

Temperature Systems

• Turns some small rocks into diamonds by applying an extremely high amount of heat and pressure, then flash freezes his arm to cool them down^MM2
• Attempts to crumble away a cave-in of coal by focusing his temperature controls onto the rocks, freezing them and then heating it back up. However, he's forced to melt some coal to plug up a hole and prevent gas from leaking in^MM10
• While being engulfed by the Human Torch's flames, freezes his right arm to absolute zero (encasing it in ice) and delivers a punch that KOs him^MM15
• Melts Spider-Man's webs that had wrapped around his wrists^MTU99

Hacking Implements

• Uses a finger attachment to link himself to the computer system of an embassy, and with incredible strain causes it to overload and shut off^MM19
• Hacks into the Thing's Sky-Cycle^MTO93
• Shuts off Iron Man, believing him to be a robot, causing Tony to be unable to control or move the Model 4 suit. Upon realizing his mistake, Machine Man reverses his override and reactivates the suit^IM168

Senses and Sensors

Vision

• Scans a photo and stores it in his memory^SO8
• His right eye can function as a sniper scope^SO9
• Sees a house over a thousand yards away as if he was right next to it^MM1
• Pops his eyes out like telescopes to view the appearance of an alien space fleet at the edge of our solar system^MM6
• Picks out a pickpocket stealing a man's wallet in the middle of a large crowd of people^MM7
• Switches to infra-red vision to see footprints left behind by a group of people^MM8
  • Uses infra-red scanners to see in the dark^IM168
• Zooms in on two people at the top of a skyscraper while being outside of the city its in^IH237

Hearing

• Determines that some gunshots were .22 caliber and originated less than a mile away by the echo they make^MM12
• Is able to tell that a man is still alive by noticing his breathing, despite it being imperceptible to humans^MM12
• [Limit] Even with his audio circuits bolstered he's unable to hear inside an athletic center from on the roof^MM19

Object/Emission Detection

• Has "hidden circuits" that detect the arrival of a nearby military helicopter^SO8
• His hidden sensor units pick up "indications of mechanisms" in some nearby walls, which turn out to be closed circuit TV screens^MM7
• His sensors warn him that a nearby atomic bomb reached critical mass and is about to fission^MM8
• Detects an odd piece of metal in a man's pocket, which turns out to be a sonic handgun. However he was unable to detect a plastic belt around the man's chest designed to release an electric shock^MM9
• Determines that he's buried under several tons of coal via his hand sensors^MM10
• His fingers have monitors on them that can be used to locate people throughout a building. His sensors also determine the composition of an entity he finds, noting she's made entirely of ionized hydrogen gas and are surrounded by an electromagnetic field^MM15
• Uses his finger sensors to locate a helicopter's battery^MM16
• Is able to track where the Hulk went by reading for the gamma radiation he emits, being able to detect exactly what house he's in after he releases a large burst of energy while turning back into Bruce Banner^{MTU A3}
• Was able to follow the "heat trail" of Nightshade's aircraft^{MTU A3}
• Determines a warehouse is mostly empty with his finger sensors^MM18
• Uses his finger sensor to determine where Northstar is even when he and Aurora attempt to use their power to blind him^MM18
• Despite being in New York City, his electro-magnetic sensors are able to lead him to Jocasta, who was on her way to Ultron's base on Neville Island, Pennsylvania^MTO92
• Traces some faint energy residue from a robot to a secret military base^MCP10
• His thermal sensors detect a plasma radiation leak through a ceiling^XM

Signal Detection/Transmission

• Picks up an interstellar transmission (being broadcast from a patient in the sanitorium he was in)^MM2/3
• Detects a nearby high frequency radio transmission,^IH236 then later detects the same transmission while in a different location, allowing him to triangulate where its coming from^IH237
• Pops out a small radio mic from the side of his head and sends a message to an army radio frequency^IH237
• Has an internal radio receiver that can tune to police bands^MM15
  • Can tune his internal monitors to news feeds^MTU99
• Picks up a signal that an explosive on a ship had been primed, and finds it via his finger sensors (though it goes off immediately after)^MM17
• Calls a landline telephone by radiating the proper frequency tone underneath a phone line^{MTU A3}
• Communicates with a jeep's radio^MTU A3)
• Analyzes the frequency of one of Spider-Man's tracers, and amplifies it to reach at least 30 miles out^MTU99
• Analyzes a homing device's frequency so he can trace it back to its source^MM18

Measurement Systems

• Senses that a man is lying by the increase in his heartbeat and respiration^MM11
  • Knows a man was too terrified to lie by his pulse^MM18
• Analyzes a car's speed and weight to determine how best to bring it to a stop^MM12
• Calculates the falling speed and weight of an elevator^MM13
• Gauges Sasquatch's weight and mass to know how long he could shock him for to render him unconscious but not dead^MM18

Vocal Replication

• Has a recorder in his throat, which can record a person's voice and scramble the sound of their speech to play back something completely different spoken in their voice^SO9
• Alters his own voice to replicate a man who he only briefly spoke with^IH236
• Replicates the voice of a coworker's bookie, whose voice he had only heard once before^{MTU A3}

Temporary Modifications

• After he was given access to an automobile workshop, he turns himself into a three-wheeled vehicle. When he's done with the transformation, he uses a powerful burst of compressed air to launch all the added parts off of him^MM2
• Gears Garvin is able to replace his damaged legs with a single wheel^MM15
• By using a "bypass relay" device, is able to communicate directly with a computer's main data bank^MM16
• After losing an arm, Gears makes a replacement implement that boosts Machine Man's ability to track where his arm went via signal^MM17
• Gears once attached an additional power source to his back and a large propeller to his head to increase his flight speed and maneuverability, allowing him to travel thirty miles in twenty-minutes while carrying Spider-Man^MTU99

Other Abilities

• By putting two of his fingers in both of his legs, he can use their power to activate jets on the soles of his feet to launch himself like a rocket^MM8
  • While Machine Man is unconscious, a man is able to manually activate the sole jets and shoot him away at speeds comparable to a slow missile^{IM A11}
• Scans through a computer's data in seconds^MM11
• Reverses the polarity of a machine intended to swap his mind with another man's, causing it to not work and instead explode^MM13
  • After being clamped into a neutralizing apparatus, he directs energy into the clamps to overload and release him^MCP10
• Pops out wheels on his feet, so he can move around while crouched and covering his exposed chest^MM16
  • Rides up the side of a cathedral (it's not stated if gravity negation was used here or not)^MM16

Sentinel Abilities

During the events of Machine Man/Bastion '98, Machine Man's main body was taken over by Bastion and given access to some of Bastion's Sentinel abilities as a result.^MMB This section is only for the feats he demonstrated in his original body, and not the Sentinel form he took beginning in X-51 #1.

Nanotech

• After being hit by an energy blast^CMM that blows a hole in his chest and renders him inert, microscopic nanotech begins repairing the damage^MMB and returns him to a functional state^MMB
• Quickly repairs his head after a hole is blasted into it by Cable's gun^MMB
• Repairs the damage to his body done by a blast from a plasma cannon and from "disruptor rods"^{X51 0}

Offensive Abilities

• Creates an energy shield that blocks a small TV telekinetically thrown by Cable, then enlarges it to completely envelop both of them in an attempt to suffocate Cable^MMB
• Seems to telekinetically throw several large TVs^MMB
• Shoots a beam of fire from his hand that clashes against Cable's eye blast^MMB
  • Fires from both hands at once^MMB
• Blasts away some goons^{X51 0}

Hacking

• Taps into a base's weapon systems to make it target Bastion, then causes the entire base to self-destruct^MMB
• Overloads the circuits in a set of disruptor rods designed to disable him^{X51 0}
• Interfaces with the battlesuits of some goons, making them fire their guns at each other and turning off their cameras^{X51 0}

Misc

• Quickly transforms from his civilian identity to his robotic form^{X51 0}
• Has a failsafe to auto-repair himself after suffering significant damage. When there wasn't enough of his body left to fix, he instead uploaded his memory to a nearby LMD^{X51 2}

Former Abilities

Following Machine Man's first encounter with the Hulk, extraneous parts of his machinery, including his laser, flame, and stun abilities, had to be removed in order to keep him from self-destructing.^MM10 To see the abilities he demonstrated before this downgrade, see here.

Strength

Striking

Objective

• Sends a metal door flying off its hinges across a room, then floors some guards^SO9
• Pulverizes this flying pod^SO9
• Flies through a brick wall^SO10
• Flies through the roof of a bunker complex^SO10
• Slams through some metal rubble^MM8
• Smashes a table with an extended punch^MM9
• Kicks Hulk out of the air, causing him to fall to the ground with enough force to trigger a brief magnitude 3.5 earthquake across Central City and burying Hulk in a deep hole (though Machine Man notes he must have hit a weak section of pavement)^IH236
• Busts into a steel zeppelin^MM13
• Punches through walls of a building while extending his fists throughout it^MM15
• Swings his body using a hook hanging from a helicopter and busts a hole into it^MM16
• Punches a small hole into a helicopter's hull^MM16
• Launches a man across a bar^MM17
• Strikes an electromagnetic generator (and the man behind it) through a wooden wall^MM18
• Punches through a roof while extending his arm^MM18
• Punches a hole in the ceiling to use its debris to hit a goon^MM18
• Hits Ultron-10 with blows that could crush an army tank^MTO92
• Punches a hole into a wall made of reinforced concrete^MTO93
• Busts up through a wooden floor^AWC83
• Busts through a metal wall with Colossus^XM

Scaling

• Stops Hulk's leap away from him by jumping on him and stomping him into the road^IH236
• [Limit] A full force kick from his extended legs is unable to faze Barry Witherspoon^MM14
• After freezing his right hand to absolute zero (encasing it in ice), KOs the Human Torch with a punch^MM15
• Whacks Spider-Man, and sends him flying across a room with another punch^MTU99
• [Limit] Seems to stagger Sasquatch by kicking with both of his extended legs, however his regular strikes don't seem to damage him much^MM18
• While enraged, savagely beats Sasquatch down to the ground. Also harms Northstar with a punch^MM18
• [Limit] Admits he wouldn't be able to subdue Iron Man Model 4 through physical strength^IM168
• Smacks around the Black Knight with detached fists^A288
• [Limit] The stage 2 Termini is unfazed by his attacks^{IM A11}
• Sends Cable to the ground with a punch^CMM

Lifting

• Easily lifts up a car with one hand^SO9
• Picks up and moves a gigantic oak tree^MM1
• Flips a car back over^MM7
• Holds the Hulk while flying^IH237
• Holds up a collapsing ceiling with extended arms^IH237
• [Limit] Would not be able to stop an elevator falling at 55 mph from crushing him^MM13
• Uses a wrecking ball to destroy the crane holding it, then uses the wire to wrap up and throw around several flying junkyard cars^MM13
• Holds up part of a broken bridge with a school bus full of children on it with extended arms^MM14
• Holds a large girder above his head before putting it back into place^MM14
• Flips a large van on its side^MM14
• Holds up a large beam after putting a wedge under the other side of it^MM15
• Grabs the Thing by the legs and flips him on his back^MM15
• Lifts a large wooden desk off of him^MM16
• Pulls out a section of a chimney large enough to entrap a man^MM16
• Grabs Sasquatch by the neck and tosses him over a boardwalk, then pulls him out of the sea^MM18
• Carries Dr. Druid and the Black Knight while flying^A288
• Gets a large piece of machinery off of him while pinned to the ground^CMM
• Holds up Cable by the neck with one hand^MMB

Throwing

• Throws a warped lamppost at Ten-For hard enough to knock him on his back^MM5
• Throws a man a few blocks across a neighborhood^IH236
• Throws a manhole cover like a frisbee^MM12
• Flings Spider-Man into a wall after he webs his wrists, then wraps an arm around him and slams him into the floor hard enough to crater it a bit^MTU99
• Tosses a man across a room^MM18
• Flips a large generator at Iron Man^IM168
• Tosses Deadpool into the air^DBB1

Grip

• Tears through a thick metal sheet like it was cardboard, then twists and bends a sonic gun^SO9
• Applies a few tons of pressure to Ten-For's face^MM6
• Rips a hole through a metal wall^MM8
• Crushes a handgun^IH237
• Grabs into a cliffside to stop his fall using an extended arm^MM10
• Twists a metallic folding chair into being arm-shaped^MM17
• Crushes a sonic rifle^MM18
• Rips away a section of plaster wall^MM19
• Grabs a wad of cables Ultron-10 was using as a whip, and rips it away from him^MTO93
• Sticks his hand down Ultron-10's throat and rips out most of his internal circuitry^MTO93
• Rips off a robot's head^MCP10

Pushing

• After being buried under several tons of coal, pushes against the rocks with extended legs hard enough that he can create a small opening to let air in^MM10
• While being suspended in place by two powerful magnets, extends an arm and a leg against each of them and pushes on the walls they're on until they break^MM17
• While trapped in an indestructible cube, pushes on it with his anti-grav flight to move him and four Avengers (also in cubes) forward^A290
• While weakened and being held by a robot, uses extended limbs to push out and repeatedly shove it into walls hard enough to crater them^MCP10
• Shoves a small crashed plane off a highway^AWC83

Restraining

• Wraps both of his extended arms around Spider-Man, restraining him^MTU99
• While copying his strength, the Super-Adaptoid is able to restrain Dr. Druid^A288
• Restrains Cable by wrapping his arms around him^CMM
• Pulls Deadpool to him by the neck and holds him in place, though he breaks free with help from the Venom symbiote^DBB1

Full-Body

• After his strength is returned to him by the Monolith, breaks free from the metal binds that kept his entire body strapped to a table^SO8
• Throws a group of guards off of him all at once, then lunges at a man with enough force that the narration states that "only a missile at maximum speed could match [his] forward thrust"^SO9
• After digging his feet into the ground, extends his body upwards forcefully enough to completely demolish a flying pod^SO9
• Tackles Ten-For through a pile of building rubble^MM6

Spinning

• Spins around fast enough to use his body like a drill and burrow through the ground (which was made of mud and gravel)^MM13
• Spins the upper half of his body fast enough to cause a contortionist (Snake Marston) that was wrapped around him to fly off, knocking over two other men he was launched into^MM16
• Spins a squad of goons off of him^MM17
• Breaks out of being constrained by Sandman by spinning his upper body and blowing him away like a fan^MTU99
• Drills himself out of an underground base^MM18
• Spins his arm fast to dissipate a smoke cloud, then loosens every joint coupling in his body to spin his body around and become ungrabable^MM19

Other

• A detached arm slams a man into some machinery hard enough to destroy it^SO10
• Casually flips a man over^MM5
• Using a baseball bat, strikes a baseball hard enough that it shatters into powder^MM9
• Grabs the front of a car from behind with an extended arm and lifts it up, while at the same time standing on its back end and crushing it, bringing it to a stop^MM12
• Grabs a chain link fence and wobbles it to make contact with a man^MM12
• Has strength fifty times that of a normal man^MM13
• Bashes a large sonic disruptor with his detached head until its destroyed, though this disfigures his face^MM18
• Holds himself up with one extended arm as his entire body spins in place^ED

Durability

General

• His skin/body is made of steel^MM13
• His left arm (and presumably other parts of his body) are made of a titanium alloy^{IM A11}
  • A later comic states his "entire outer shell" is made of a finely-tessellated titanium alloy^CMM
• [Limit] Admits that Iron Man Model 4 is more durable than him^IM168

Physical

Objective

• Drives his body straight through a brick wall^MM2
• Is unbothered falling from the height of a helicopter^MM4
• Is fine taking hits from a big robot^MM7
• Takes a 300 foot fall without injury^MM7
• [Limit] After being shot by a sonic gun, falls all the way down a cliff, causing him to shut down. He's revived later after being powered back on by someone else, seemingly fine^MM10
• Is whacked by a wrecking ball and is struck by several lasers that were strong enough to destroy said wrecking ball without taking any damage^MM13
• Falls from a great height after suddenly losing the ability to negate gravity, bouncing off of some cars as he lands. Due to previous injuries he's unable to get back up, but he remains conscious^MM15
• Intentionally falls from the air through the roof of a house and lands fully prepared to fight Hulk^{MTU A3}
• Takes a rest while a group of normal goons attack his body^MM18
• Falls through the roof of an athletic center^MM19
• [Limit] Is KOed for seven minutes after being buried under a three foot thick wall of reinforced concrete^MTO93

Continued in the comments

Sauce: https://forums.galaxy-of-heroes.starwars.ea.com/discussion/270695/kit-reveal-luthen-rael-deal-holyfield
Holy fucking shit you guys. I genuinely believed this day would never come. Andor is the greatest Star Wars that ever Star Warsed, and until today I firmly believed that it was just aimed at a level of education too high to be the target of financial scam mobile games. HOW WRONG I WAS!!!
Look at this goddamn beauty:
He's dressed like Dad Bod Spider-man from into the spider-verse, but older and with a gun. Could you imagine Spider-Man with a FUCKING GUN??? He shoots webs and AR-15s! Thanks to his spidey-sense, he can blast the wings off a fly from 200 yards! He can make a permanent solution to his temporary problems and high schoolers are known for their intelligent deployment of violence!
On second thought that's a terrible idea and it's actually really good that Luthen is so old. Like really old. He makes me feel young. He's not Baz Luhrmann old (WHEN DO WE GET IMPERIAL REMNANT BAZ LUHRMANN, CG?? WHEN???), but he's still pretty old. Like my dad. Luthen is my dad, with a gun, and spider-man's sweet jacket.
Just look at him! He's so fucking disappointed in you! He disapproves of your art school and your long hair and how all of your friends look like layabouts who do nothing but smoke pot all day and play cell phone videogames!
God I love him so much, I can't wait to inherit his trailer home.

Light Side Rebel, Rebel Fighter, Light Side, Support

OH WHAT THE FUCK, CG??? He's not a LEADER??? THE FUCKING LEADER OF THE ENTIRE REBEL MOVEMENT DOESN'T HAVE A LEADER TAG??? Mon Mothma got a leader tag and she can't even lead her daughter into an arranged marriage with an underworld financier! But Luthen, who is literally fighting for a sunrise he will never see doesn't get the tag???
This kit's gonna be a fucking disaster, isn't it?
Also, I really really really hope that CG plans on adding the pilot tag later alongside Luthen's ship. We're due for a ship and Luthen's has lightsabers!!! Tractor beam countermeasures!!! A badass AI!!!! I WANT IT SO BAD GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!!
But I digress... Back to the badass mofo at hand, I'm gonna rearrange how CG does things, because - even after all these years - they still have not figured out that you need to explain new terms before you use them.
Luthen gets different bonuses depending on who the leader is (obviously not him because FUCK OBJECTIVE REALITY I guess). If Saw is the leader, then Luthen is Axis and if anyone else is leader, Luthen is Curator. These change how his abilities work, apparently. Let's find out...

ABILITIES:
BASIC: Tools of my Enemy (Omicron)
Final Text: Deal Special damage to target enemy and inflict Healing Immunity for 2 turns.

Okay, healing immunity on basic is decent. Like JKA but a rebel fighter. And it's a debuff that only Cassian previously applied (and only then on special), so this is pretty nice to have on the team.

Axis bonus: During Luthen's turn, inflict Buff Immunity for 2 turns on the target enemy, which can't be dispelled, and if the allied Rebel Commander is active, inflict Fear for 1 turn on the target enemy.

So if Saw is the leader, also buff immunity and maybe fear. Fear on basic is very cool. BTW Luthen can also summon a Rebel Commander. That's important information CG neglected to tell us about because holy shit they don't understand plot structure. Which is to say that the moment they decided Luthen wasn't a leader, they lost the plot.

Curator bonus: Dispel all buffs on target enemy. During Luthen's turn, if the allied Rebel Commander is active, call them to assist.

This is not as good but still decent.

While in Grand Arenas: During Luthen's turn, he gains 25 Speed (max 100) until the end of the encounter, and the target enemy has their Defense reduced by 30% until the next time Luthen uses his Basic ability or until he is defeated.

Seems like one of the worst omicrons in history but what the fuck do I know, I THOUGHT LUTHEN WAS A LEADER.

SPECIAL 1: What Do I Sacrifice? (Cooldown 3, Omicron)
Final Text: If the allied Leader is Rebel and not a Galactic Legend, summon a Rebel Trooper and promote them to a Rebel Commander. If the Rebel Commander is already present, dispel all debuffs on them and they gain a bonus turn. Target Rebel Fighter or Mon Mothma ally gains 30% Offense (stacking) and is immune to Turn Meter reduction until the end of their next turn.

Okay, so this is MM's summon but it goes straight to 11, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Nice. Now, you may be thinking "Why the fuck do I care about boosting MM's offense when she can't attack" and that's because you're an uncultured swine (except you're not, I love you, please don't go!). MM's summon draws its stats from MM, so if he has 30% more offense, so will her summon. After it dies and is resummoned. I think. Maybe right away? IDFK. Anyone? Bueller?

Axis bonus: If the Rebel Commander is already present, they gain 50% Offense (stacking) for 2 turns.

This is cool if Luthen is a high offense character and pretty mid if he's not.

Curator bonus: If the Rebel Commander is already present, they recover 50% Health and Protection. Target Rebel ally gains Frenzy for 2 turns.

This is, as far as I know, the only method in the game of handing out frenzy (short of GMY stealing frenzy from an enemy and then distributing it), and that's cool AF.

While in Grand Arenas: If the Rebel Commander is already present, all allies gain Critical Damage Up for 2 turns.
Mon Mothma and all other Rebel Fighter allies gain 30% Offense (stacking) and are immune to Turn Meter reduction until the end of their next turn. Target Rebel Fighter ally ignores Taunt until the end of their next turn.

Not sure if 30% offense is permanent or until end of next turn, but leaning towards the latter. If permanent, this omicron is a must. If temp, it's just kinda okay.

SPECIAL 2: A Sunless Space (Cooldown 3, Zeta)
Final Text: Mon Mothma and all Rebel Fighter allies gain Speed Up and Bonus Protection (20%) for 2 turns.

This is a nice buff, but the value really depends on the axis/curator bonuses.

Axis: All Rebel Fighter allies dispel all debuffs from themselves. For each debuff dispelled, they gain 10% Turn Meter. If the allied Rebel Commander is active, inflict Marked on them for 2 turns, which can't be copied or dispelled.

Okay, speed boost and a sneaky taunt for the commander. Good stuff.

Curator: Rally Mon Mothma and all Rebel Fighter allies.

Fuckin' nice. Rally makes tanks taunt, attackers attack, and healers and supports restore 15% health and protection to all allies. That's solid.

UNIQUE 1: Dreams With Ghosts (Omicron)
Final Text: Mon Mothma and Rebel Fighter allies gain 20 Speed. At the start of each encounter, if the allied Leader is Rebel and not a Galactic Legend, summon a Rebel Trooper and promote them to Rebel Commander. While the Rebel Commander is active, Luthen is immune to Ability Block, Cooldown Increase, and Taunt effects, and he can't be targeted, or reduced below 100% Health.

Holy shit. So Luthen is invincible as long as a Rebel Commander is active, and one starts out active? Hot DAMN.

At the start of battle if there is a Rebel Leader and there are no Rebel Galactic Legend allies: If Saw Gerrera is the Leader, Luthen gains the Axis effect. Otherwise, he gains the Curator effect.
Axis: Whenever a Rebel Trooper is summoned, they gain the Expendable Asset effect and are inflicted with Marked for 2 turns which can't be copied or dispelled. Whenever a Rebel Trooper is defeated, all Attacker allies have their cooldowns reset.
Curator: Whenever a Rebel Trooper begins its turn, Luthen and Mon Mothma gain 20% Turn Meter.

Finally CG defines Axis and Curator, plus they have little bonuses.

Expendable Asset: Can't Stealth and can always be targeted by enemies. Lose 70% Max Health and gain 70% Offense. Whenever Rebel Trooper uses its Basic ability, inflict Defense Down on the target enemy for 2 turns, which can't be evaded or resisted. Whenever Rebel Trooper uses a Special ability, they are inflicted Marked for 2 turns which can't be copied or dispelled and gain Retribution for 2 turns which can't be dispelled.

Okay, wow. So if you're using Luthen with Saw, you want a LOT of protection and don't want to care too much about health, I guess. Which is weird, because Saw's leader bonus involves granting max health %. I wonder if this isn't a situation where you want max health anyway. It all depends if the 1% gain is based on current max health at the time of the gain or max health before the 70% max health was lost. If the former, I can see maximizing health being maximally beneficial. To the max. The Mad Max (Beyond Thunderdome).

While in Grand Arenas: If there are no Rebel Galactic Legend allies at the start of battle, Mon Mothma and Rebel Fighter allies gain 30% Max Health, Mastery, and 20 Speed, and they gain Bonus Protection (50%) for 1 turn. The first time the Rebel Commander is defeated in each battle, summon a Rebel Trooper and promote them to Rebel Commander.

I genuinely cannot tell if Luthen is a better lifter for Saw or MM. This feels outstanding.

UNIQUE 2: Rebel Trooper
Final Text: Light Side, Attacker, Rebel, Rebel Fighter
[Basic] Rebel Bravado: Dispel all buffs on target enemy and deal Physical damage.
If this unit has been promoted to Officer or Commander, inflict Daze for 1 turn.
[Special] Rebel Morale: Rebel allies gain Defense Penetration Up for 2 turns.
If this unit has been promoted to Commander, Rally all Rebel Fighter allies.
This ability can only be used if Rebel Trooper has been promoted to Officer or Commander.
[Unique] Rebellion Tactics: Mon Mothma and Rebel Fighter allies have +15% Critical Damage and +30% Tenacity.
If this unit has been promoted to Commander, these bonuses are tripled.
[Unique] Summoned: This unit's stats scale with the summoner's stats. This unit can only be summoned to the ally slot if it's available. This unit can't be summoned in raids. This unit can't be revived. If an effect counts defeated units, this unit doesn't count. When there are no other allied combatants, this unit escapes from battle. A unit can't be revived if this summoned unit exists in their slot.

This is the exact same as MM's trooper. Except, I guess, he has different art.
----
Okay, so this kit wasn't the disaster I predicted, and seems kinda cool aside from that one really dogshit omicron (which someone please tell me how it's actually good and I'm bad and should feel bad because I really want Luthen to be a cold-hearted, badass motherfucker). He didn't get my dream ability of choosing an ally to kill in order to OHK an enemy, but I guess the Expendable Asset buff is close enough to be thematically in the same realm.
So now I've got unreasonable hopes for the future.
I hope for Luthen's ship.
I hope for a totally reworked and not garbage Cassian Andor.
I hope for B2EMO and his adorable stutter.
I hope for Magda, or at least someone swinging her brick to murder goddamn fascists.
And I hope for Syril's mom with her special ability "eat your cereal."
After all, rebellions are built on hope.
----
I have done this sort of thing before, and I write a conquest guide, and since Luthen is a conquest character, knowing where to find the guide (when I write it) may prove useful. You can find all of that here, in my Index.

Ever wondered why grown-ups sometimes trim branches off trees in your yard? It's not because they're mean to trees (they actually love them!). It's like giving them a haircut to keep them healthy and strong!
This post will be your guide to tree trimming, so you can be a backyard landscaping whiz!
Why Give Trees Haircuts?

• Healthy Trees: Just like you need haircuts to get rid of split ends, trees need trimming to remove dead or diseased branches. These bad branches can make the whole tree sick!
• Safety First: Sometimes branches get too big and heavy, and might even break off in a storm. Trimming keeps them from falling and hurting someone or damaging your stuff.
• Looking Sharp: A well-trimmed tree looks super cool and tidy! Plus, it lets more sunlight reach the lower branches, which helps them grow nice and strong too. ☀️

Tree Trimming Tools:

• Hand Pruners: These are like tiny scissors for trees! Perfect for small branches you can easily reach with your arm. ✂️
• Loppers: Think of these as giant scissors for thicker branches that your hand pruners can't handle. ✂️ (But way cooler!)
• Saw: For really big branches, you might need a saw to cut them safely. But be careful, saws are sharp and best left to grown-ups! 🪚

When to Call the Tree Trimming Pros:

• High Flyers: If the branch is way up high and you can't reach it safely, leave it to the professionals! They have special tools like harnesses and ropes to reach high places without getting hurt. ‍♀️
• Big & Thick: Those super thick branches are best left to grown-ups with strong tools and experience. Don't try to be a hero – safety first!
• Unsure What to Trim? If you're not sure which branches to trim, or how to do it safely, it's always best to call a professional tree trimmer. They'll know exactly what to do to keep your tree healthy and happy!

Want to learn more about tree trimming? Check out this awesome article: A Complete Guide to Tree Pruning and Trimming

Quick post regarding routines and autism.
Note: this post has been copy-pasted from the original one made 7 months ago, so some links may not work.
Since developing routines is a common "defense mechanism" (because you are less scared when you can somehow predict what's gonna happen), and routines are commonly associated with both autism and trauma, I have been thinking about something recently.
Quick disclaimer: I don't believe in diagnosis the way they are presented by diagnostic manuals like the DSM or the ICD; instead, I use non-pathologizing and non-diagnostic manuals to human distress and mental states like the PTMF or the ITIM. Diagnosis as they are presented (a group of symptoms) are just that: a group of symptoms. A group of symptoms is not an explanation of those symptoms (you have X symptoms because you have depression <-> you have depression because you have X symptoms).
Second quick disclaimer: this is just my opinion on the matter after researching several topics including anti-psychiatry, the history of the western mental health field, feminism, anthropology (especially in relation to patriarchal/hierarchical societies vs matriarchal/equalitarian societies), pragmatics, neurodivergency and things related to trauma/defense mechanisms. Feel free to politely disagree ✌️
The theory that I want to present here is that routines commonly associated with autism are a normal defense mechanism when living in a hierarchical/shame-based society like (sadly, thanks to colonization, imo) most of the world nowadays.
And while autistic people tend to stick into their (literal) routines, I think that what allistic people do is tend to stick into their pragmatic routines.
(Quick info dump: pragmatics are the cultural non-literal parts of communication and they include things like social roles (gender roles enter into this category), social hierarchies (related to social roles), social cues, social rules and so on. In theory, pragmatics are the thing that autistic people cannot encode and decode on an instinctive way).
-> "Why do people think I'm upset/angry all the time?" "Why don't people say what they mean?" "Why do people read too much into what I say?" The answer is probably pragmatics! (reddit post from aspergirls)
-> The Art of Semantics (youtube video by AnRel) She confirmed to me that she meant pragmatics instead of semantics in the comment section (but chose the word "semantics" for the title for pragmatic reasons)
So, what happens here is that allistic people hold onto their "pragmatic" routines: the way people "should" act according to their assigned cultural roles and contexts. Of course, they get "mad" (terrified) when autistic disrupt their non-literal "routines", which causes them to be more prone to marginalizing autistic people.
When I say "terrified", I mean it. For me, these defense mechanisms are there to give you a sense of safety in an environment that is not. This terror can manifest as "anger" or judgment, but the primary emotion is still fear. Emotions are only messengers of the outside world. And what message does fear send? "Flee/fight".
For me, beliefs are not the real messengers: emotions are. And when the emotion behind a belief is fear and you challenge that belief, what do people do? Gaslight you, ghost you, insult you, invalidate you... All the actions that people associate with "narcissistic abuse". "Fight or flight".
So, when you challenge things like gender roles, a lot of people will come to you and... do just that. Attack you, shame you, invalidate you...
We are "awkward" or "cringe" cause we trigger their collective repressed grieve from living in a society that doesn't let them be.
I'm gonna leave some links and mentions now:
-> Remember when people during lockdowns became mad over not being able to go to their usual hair salons and gyms as they were used to do? When they got mad because their routines got disrupted?
-> Have your parents ever pushed you to hug or kiss other family members when you were young (or not so young) because "it is good manners"? If you are in one of the subreddits regarding narcissistic parents, you may know what I'm talking about.
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJc99gGm/ (@T Jamaica Pogue - @tjamaicapogue - #onthisday Still big facts 👏🏽👏🏽 #neurospicy #neurodivergent #patternrecognition #actuallyautistic) I just love this one
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe8RG4h3/ (@The Nameless Narcissist - @thenamelessnarcissist - Its stressful!!! #npd #mentalhealthawareness #personalitydisorder #npdawareness #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJv5QVJD/ (@Jennifer T Joy - @jennifertjoy - Replying to @Jennifer T Joy I like the fact that it is a network of neurons firing across the brain that create emotions instead of one part of the brain. It seems more maluable ...) Yeah... Authority figures are not omniscient. If the only argument someone gives you for believing in something is "you better believe in this because, otherwise, the authority figure is gonna get mad at you", RUN! And if people use "science" as justification for their dogmas, that's not science, that's scientism. Science, by definition, cannot be used as a source of dogmatic knowledge (dogmas are beliefs that cannot be challenged)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJc9rUMa/ (@Reneé Brito - @renee.brito - Jajajaja te quiero Psicología Crítica y Política. #psicologíasocial #psicologíapolítica #psicología #psicologíatiktok) ("When you start studying social psychology and you realize that if the symptoms are repeated in many people in different places and at the same time, it is not an individual problem that must be pathologized, it is a social problem that must be resolved, since the pathology is only the way in which the background picture is presented and only by applying critical, systemic and socio-historical thinking can the complexity of the problem be understood." "Hahahaha I love you Critical and Political Psychology.")
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJvtgcnn/ (@Cecile Tucker, counsellor - @ceciletuckercounselling - #maladaptivecopingmechanisms #healingtrauma #traumatherapy #traumahealing #cptsdtiktok #therapistsoftiktok)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJc9jDSB/ (@7thFire Messenger - @asinaabe - #history #society and #culture explained using #psychology and #indigenous #wisdom to #teach the New #people of the #7thfire where to look for #guidance and ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJcf69D9/ (@Abby - @yourtherapistjustwokeup - Its not “or,” it is “if, then.” #therapistsontiktok #csa #diagnoseharmnotpeople #csasurvivor #dissociation #traumahealing #peoplemakesense #fightorflight ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJcqdcqe/ (@JUDAH PARKER - @jxdahparker - #stitch with @Mark Wade9 WHAT HE SAID!!! I could go on for days about this topic #fy #fyp #foryou #forupage #capitalism ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJc9BJ6V/ (@Ilex 🐦‍⬛ - @mx.ilex - #greenscreen scientists for Marianne! #marianne2024 #mariannewilliamson #depression #mentalhealth #science #psychology #left #liberal #democrat #usa #depressed ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJTsTeW (@muis - @muis.enz - (The video with Nanette))
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJw5Nfy (@Midwest Existentialism - @brendonfreakinglemon - #stitch with @Jason Pargin, author #latecapitalism #postmodernism #historyoffashion #markfisher #capitalismsucks #capitalism #late90searly2000s #philosophytiktok ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe8RKyA2/ (@Therease - @hersweetmajestic - #stitch with @disani im so over being “ashamed” #autism #adultautistic #audhd ...)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe8RQFxu/ (@❤️‍🔥🪬Nicky Scorpio🪬❤️‍🔥 - @yonickyscorpio - #stitch with @Eesham🤑 #awakening #narcissistsurvivor #abusesurvivor #insecurities #insecurecheck #hating)
-> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe8RQFA1/ (@Dr. C - @heavyonthedr - #neurodivergent #unmasking #neurospicy -> "Just answer the question")
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe8JcYVM/ (@Jess - @slug.town - this book is required reading if youre interested in the politics of mental health! listen to the rest of this interview at sluggish.substack.com, or find Sluggish on spotify ...)
-> An Honest "ADHD" consultation (reddit post from Antipsychiatry)
-> Allistic communication and abusive communication styles (reddit post from autism) (This one is mine, as a sort of introduction to the topic of pragmatics in regards to autism/trauma/roles-based-society and it also has other links lined to the topic)
-> What "Barbie" Gets Right About Male Psychology (article from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us)
-> Meet the Bayaka Tribe: The World’s Best Dads (article from https://africantravels.com/)
Notice how the first link talks about "men psychology" in a way that has nothing to do with the second one.
-> There was this clip of Jordan Peterson in which he said that he was scared of dismantling gender roles because, then, he would feel insecure because he wouldn't know what to expect from you (man or woman), as if gender roles/labels gave you this prediction on how that person is and how they are going to behave. I can't find it right now, but if someone does, that would be highly appreciated
-> EMELINE - cinderella's dead (Visualizer) I love this song. "Breaking all the rules 'cause they were only habits". If we think of allistic social norms/rules/roles as cultural pragmatic-related habits, it also makes sense as to why ADHD people may have some trouble with them (for me, ADHD is the inability to create habits. Habits, for me, are actions that you do automatically). Routines are things you do all the time. They are made of habits. Pragmatics in a hierarchical/patriarcal culture are this: a theatre of roles and scripted dialogue (like a real theater play)... The opposite of being authentic and letting people be. Because this is the basis for a "war culture". When you are in a war, you need to be efficient, "do the job", "do what it takes", "do the work", and so on.
-> New Super Mario Bros. Wii (2009) - 4 Players 100% All Star Coins, No Death, 99 Lives! [TAS] It might be silly, but, this is it. Each player in this New Super Mario Bros speedrun has their own special power-up/ability. It's about surviving the dangers, fighting the dangers, going up to the next level, "winning the game" (it reminds me of those gurus that "teach men how to "conquer" women")... This goes against what I call "culture of care/nurture". For me, an example of a "culture of care" would be the mosuo, for example. I remember reading about an interview where two mosuo women explained that, for them, power is reaching agreements with men.
-> I remember a video from Abby (@yourtherapistjustwokeup) where she talked about 2 kinds of power: when you are safe, power comes from negotiating with other people (reaching agreements. It's a pro-social thing); when you are alone and in danger, power comes from your ability to change your environment (this is the kind of definition that we have in the "western" patriarchal/hierarchical world). Here, your boss has "power" over you because they can fire you. They can harm you. They coerce you. They are a threat. But for the mosuo, power is not about taking away stuff, it's about giving. Same for the minangkabau and a lot of other matriarchies. And who's the kind of people that can give the most? Women. Because they can give you LIFE (aka, give birth to someone). That's also why doing chores and serving the food to guests is seen as a sign of honourespect for the mosuo instead of as sign of being lesser than (I always imagine a castle full of servants ("inferior") giving the food to the king ("superior")). "Serving" becomes something out of oppression (fawning), instead of true love (taking care of someone because you really want to. Because you love them). The thing about masks is that they want to make you believe that they are the opposite of what they really are. Fawning doesn't come from love, it comes from fear. Fear and love go in opposite ways. Most of us humans right now live in societies built around masks, and that's why antonyms are switched a lot of times (for example, calling "respect" what it actually is fear. You don't respect those you fear, you respect those you trust).
You basically "trigger their ego", make them feel their "repressed collective grief", you are "awkward" and give off that "uncanny valley" because you are not "following the script" and thus, "ruining the charade/play"; because their cultural social norms/rules/roles/etc. (including gender roles) are their "routines", the things they stick to to feel less terrified. You are, in their eyes, "not acting like you are supposed to", but they may not be able to accurately pinpoint "why" or "how". You may respond literally to questions that are not literal, but rather indirect ways of shaming others; you may, in their eyes "challenge" the social hierarchy without even realizing it.
As I mentioned before, hierarchies are inherently unfair and abusive. Equalitarian societies do exist and have always existed. The fact that nowadays most of the world seems to operate under hierarchies/abusive dynamics doesn't mean that that's the only possible way of living.
Peace is only utopic when what you have is dystopic.
The way pragmatics work in dystopic/hierarchical societies is through scripts, like a theater play!
"Oh, when my companion says this specific phrase, I gotta respond with this other specific phrase, with this specific words, intonation, body language, facial expressions..."
It's an act. They get enraged because they are looking for another round of applause and you are destroying their act/theateplay. You are showing to the world how fake they are.
You learn to talk by copying others.
You spend your whole life not understanding what you are saying and what others think that you are saying, and you want to get what others think that you are saying to protect yourself from their abuse.
-> Interview w/ top Social Psychologist on psychosocial ills and our departure from small scale tribal living (reddit post from intentionalcommunity) (check out comment section) For more links in case you are curious
Disclaimer: I'm not sure if it was that tiktoker right now (Abby); I think it was her, but I would need to check that out, so sorry if I'm wrong.
(For the record: no, tiktok is not my primary source of info. I also have books, articles, documentaries and other stuff on these topics, hahahahahahaha. But it's still a good source and I always verify the content that I check. And this is just a reddit post, so who cares?)
Edit:
Just some food for thought:
If autism is the inability to encode and decode pragmatics instinctively, and ADHD is the inability to create habits, and clinging to your routines to feel safer (if If you are allistic, you can cling to pragmatic routines. If you are autistic, you have no choice but to cling to routines in the literal sense), it makes sense that people with ADHD are better off "living in chaos" (without people forcing them to have a literal routine) and people who have autism and ADHD have so many "problems" because they are unable to stick to any routine.
Popular narratives are backwards.
Autistic people are the ones that communicate directly.
People with ADHD are the ones that are "aware" and don't do things automatically.
Yet, the way we are treated is so overwhelming... Autistic people end up having serious fear of interacting with others.
People with ADHD end up being so overwhelmed that their minds go from one place to another and dissociate in other ways that make them look "inattentive" (maybe the things that others are trying to force them to pay attention to are horrible that their brains have no other way of "surviving", and those are the things that need to change; not their inattentiveness per se).
In any case, this isn't an autism or ADHD thing, it's capitalism. Who wants you to not question hierarchies and cultural roles? Who wants you to work your *ss off like a robot that does its boring and repetitive job "automatically"?
The question you "gotta" ask is always "why?" and the answer better not be a circular explanation.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe2pncJ5/ (@Therease - @hersweetmajestic - #stitch with @TheStarvingAutist I proudlh fail the test every time. But hey they fail mine too 🤷🏾‍♀️ #autistic #adultautistics #fyp)
Edit 2:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJ3oyMFx/ (@Pusher - @itspusher - hierarchy is the real enemy. when there's enough to go around, nobody should be going hungry because of some stupid eurocentric myths about value)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe2wDeXH/ (@Pusher - @itspusher - Parte 5 The Eurocentric Myth of Progress #davidgraeber #Europe #colonization #capitalism #communism #socialism #anthropology #history)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe2wgEeH/ (@Pusher - @itspusher - patriarchy is the result of somebody learning how to grow food 10,000 years ago and now you have student loans #patriarchy #matriarchy #anthropology)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe2wfhkM/ (@Laura Danger - @thatdarnchat - Part 8 Replying to jenniferpegbert snag a copy from the library or follow the 1ink In my b10! #BookTok #community #mutualaid)
Edit 3:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9MW3b/ (@Mew Zee - @mew_zee - #ActuallyAutistic How are we the ones with a communication issue when a psychiatrist wrote that people will say that they are excited about something when they're not. It makes no sense.)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9SdEC/ (@Jo - @myfavouritejo - Communication is not a strong point for most neurotypicals. There needs to be a part two here cause i ran out of time. More on neurotypicals & communication → @Jo And further @Jo #neurotypicalcommunication #adhdcommunication #autisticcommunication #talkinriddles #ADHD #ADHDer #ActuallyAdhd #ADHDDTikTok #ADHDTok #80HD #TeamTeaspoon #ADHDHack #ADHDTip #ThisIsWhatADHDLooksLike #adhdinwomen #adhdingirls #superpower #audhd #audhder #actuallyautistic #asd #aspy #aspergers #awtistic #awetistic #awtism #logical #takeThingsLiterally #autism #autismawareness #autisticadult #autisminwomen #awetismawarenessandacceptance #autismacceptance #austisTikTok #autismfamily #autismrocks #autismlove #autismlife #imwhatautismlookslike #autismparents #autismparentsupport #autisticmeme #autisticmemes #autisticpride #autisticandproud #unmasked #unmaskingautism #unmaskingadhd #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #neurodivergency #neurospicy #neurotypicals #justNeurotypicalThings #flipthescript #satire #empathy #differentnotless)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9CF3d/ (@Francina Simone - @francina_simone #stitch with Morgan Foley #neurodivergent #nuerotypicalsbelike)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9Cuec/ (@Sophie - @firebreathing_sophie - Parte 4 I swear, something like 80 to 90% of conflicts I'm involved in are rooted in a misunderstanding due to differing communication styles. #autism #autistic #asd #autismspectrumdisorder #autismawareness #autisticadult #neurodivergent #neurospicy #neurodiverse #neurodivergenttiktok #neurospicytiktok #neurodiversetiktok #autistictiktok #autistictiktoker #actuallyautistic #autisticadult #neurotypical #neurotypicalnonsense #communication #expression #dialogue #conflict)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej95fpb/ (@vialsss - #stitch with Angie the neurodivergent urge to SCREAM every time someone asks a question they dont want an answer to😡 😤 #vialsss #neurodivergent #neurotypical #adhd #audhd #communication #miscommunication #context #conflict #problemsolving #excuses #accountability)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9MXPN/ (@Lo - @wouldyakindly - Parte 39 #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #adhdinwomen #autismawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #adhdprobs #autistic #communication)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGej9htP (@Hannah Home Educates - @hannahhomeeducates - Parte 6 Replying to user33376069. Neurodiverse / autistic children are often perceived as rude because their ideas about communication are in variance with neurotypical standards. In fact many (culturally dependent) neurotypical tendencies such as small talk, eye contact and rhetorical questions can seem rude to autistic and neurodiverse people, but that perception is often dismissed as being overly sensitive or dramatic because of the lack of understanding in our society of neurotypes. What would be helpful is a paradigm where we seek to understand different communication styles instead of forcing all children to adhere to a narrow stream of "acceptable" behaviours. #neurodiversityaffirming #neurodiversefamily #neurodiverseadvocate #autismparentingtips)
Edit 4:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe6kCDap/ (@Pat, Radical Therapist - @quirky_black_therapist - Everything I say is simply my opinion as a HUMAN first, and Therapist. #indoctrination #westernpsychology #psychology #dismantlethesystem #antipsychiatry #mentalhealth #mentalhealththerapist #decolonizetherapy #antioppressivepractice #liberationpsychology #leftist #blacktherapist #therapytok)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe64np8L/ (@Pat, Radical Therapist - @quirky_black_therapist - Yes i said Beefs. #latestagecapitalism #anxiety #depression #overpathologizing #DSM #antipsychiatry #mentalhealth #systemicoppression #mentalhealthindustry #psychology)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe6NANTB/ (@disanithewizard - @disknowsthewizard - Parte 1 im not weird... i'm just supposed to be a forrest wizard that wears a silk robe, fights dragons on castle porches, cooks up magical potions and spells, while giving the MAIN CHARACTER advice they probably wont take but will desperately need at some point. i walk freely within my community of conscious souls bc the love i have for them and their growth is priceless in my eyes. we celebrate every day because life is the gift and living it is what brings us the utmost joy.... most days i completely forget what its like to be human and the only thing that reminds me are the pressures of society & the man that happens to be in the mirror every time i pass it by. #thedisanibenjaminexperience #neurodivergenttiktok #autisticemployment #actuallyautistic #latediagnosedautistic #abolishcapitalism #consciouscommunity #systemsofoppression)
Edit 5:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydQuQW/ (@Luke Grosch - @lukegrosch - Autism and social constructs #autism #actuallyautistic #autismawareness #audhd #autismo)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydyxdm/ (@paigelayle - might start a series of social constructs i do not understand #autism #fyp #2020Wrapped #HolidayMusic #greenscreenvideo)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydyVUD/ (@Ella - @ellaellaw - #autism#autistic#Viral#fyp#actuallyautis tic#gender#pridemonth#educational#pov -> "Let's talk autism and gender. Gender is a social construct. And a lot of autistic people don't understand social constructs. This has been turned into a very nasty stereotype but there is some truth in it. ...")
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydfHxL/ (@Erika Heidewald - @erikaheidewald - part 3: the hierarchy and its social constructs are arbitrary! #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #ADHD #autistic #philosophy)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydU8GW/ (@Erika Heidewald - @erikaheidewald - NTs inherit social constructs & use them instinctually! #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #ADHD #neurotypicals #autistic)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeydAryL/ (@Amanda (I am Mindblind) - @i.am.mindblind -> "this social construct is so dumb...")
Edit 6:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeyXkHVJ/ (@Gene Le - @alina.gene - Replying to D. #alinagene #socialconstruct -> "Ethnicity isn't real either")
Edit 7:
Resources for neurodivergency
Resources for neurodivergency (2)
Check the resources for books to dig deeper into the topic if you wanna.
Edit 8:
How NOT to get sucked into otherpeople's power games Being awkward IS not playing into their power games. They don't like that so they gotta smear campaign and DARVO you into believing it's your fault. "Awkwardness is honesty. Why?" Because they are not being honest. By you being honest, you are making them realize that. They are jealous, they are triggered, they see what they don't have in you. You "unmask" them (even if you don't mean to and you are just existing).
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe9JWKg1/ (@Post Capitalist Pedagogy - @post.capitalist.pedagogy -> "... When we realize a category is wrong, we can move on. We can change it. We can adapt it. We can update it. Which is what we need to be doing now. Because so many of our categories that we have taken to be the truth of reality are proving themselves to be fundamentally and irreparably wrong")
Edit 9:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeCHhbau/ (@Noémie Sérieux - @noemieserieux - Parte 2 The stories I could tell about that particular bully)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeC9NrMP/ (@Post Capitalist Pedagogy - @post.capitalist.pedagogy - Sorry I didnt have capacity to fix the janky subtitles. Classic forgotskianism 🤷‍♂️)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeCHveSb/ (@Post Capitalist Pedagogy - @post.capitalist.pedagogy -> in order to build post capitalist communities we need to reframe our understanding of bad people ...)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeC9MYNJ/ (@sim booktoks badly - @simkern - Celebrities are sixth graders #teachersoftiktok #teacherstorytime)
Edit 10:
Remember all of those dystopia movies where people are brainwashed into believing backwards narratives and blatant lies about reality? Well, all popular narratives that come from the kyriarchy are backwards and those are part of pragmatics.
Remember what happens in dystopia movies where people learn "the horrible and sad truth"? What the government does to them? Yeah...
Because calling someone crazy, stupid or insane is the best way to smear campaign and gaslight victims into compliance. "Don't listen to them! They have a mental illness!". Yes. It's grim and unnerving.
You are immune to propaganda (meme)
Why Advertising Falls Flat in Individuals With Autism
-> Impala Escapes Death & Shakes off Stress This is the defense mechanism, albeit less complex. Basically, if you go against their disconnection, that's like a threat to their life. If you show the lie (that they are "alive", not dead. That they are not being genuine but performing), they take it as you going against them like an Avengers level threat. Because if the impala reconnects, the leopard is gonna eat them. If habits/routines and pragmatics are or are being used as their disconnection, then, yes.
Edit 11:
For anyone wanting to learn more about non-pathologizing approaches to human mental states and distress, check "neurodiversity paradigm" as an alternative for the pathology paradigm of popular psychology and psychiatry.
NEURODIVERSITY: SOME BASIC TERMS & DEFINITIONS
Pathology Paradigm
AUTISM & THE PATHOLOGY PARADIGM
Edit 12:
If the goal of this defense mechanism is to save yourself and we are talking about a defense mechanism made systemic/grupal, it makes sense that they'd target autistic people more often as the scapegoat of the "dysfunctional group" and tilt them as "bad" and "going against the wellbeing of the group" (even though it's already explained above how/why this is "projection"/scapegoating and never the fault of the scapegoat).

Reposting cause the first attempt got caught in the spam filters for some reason.
Hey, so this is a little different than normal, a ficnapping of u/ApprehensiveCap6525's story Exchange Program Shenanigans, which you can read here!
This is an alternative chapter one exploring what would've happened if those exterminators gave him a little bit more trouble. Enjoy!
Memory transcription subject: Jackson Kern, Human-Venlil Exchange Program Candidate
Date [standardized human time]: September 3, 2136
To be honest, this whole alien business wasn’t living up to my expectations.
It could’ve been a lot worse, to be fair. We could’ve had an Independence Day situation on our hands, and there was no Will Smith around to save us anymore. But LA wasn’t a burning hellscape yet (well, more than it already was), and these aliens looked far too cute to be tossing nukes at us like change to a beggar.
In fact, the whole dynamic was the other way round. They thought we were gonna be the child eating monsters setting about founding the galactic fourth Reich. Well, fifth Reich, based on what Salvek told me about those crazy alien crocs.
Salvek, my exchange partner, and one of the few venlil who could look me in the eye without self destructing. He was like the others at first, but he chilled out pretty quickly. Now he was my best damn friend on the whole planet, and the things I would do to anybody that hurt him would shoot me straight to the top of the FBI’s most wanted list.
And it’s not like it would be difficult. I was pretty jacked for human standards, which meant I was an absolute colossus compared to the average venlil. I could probably snap one’s back in half like a dry twig, and toss them around like a sack of bricks. It probably wouldn’t come to that, since my mere presence sent most of them running for the hills. Except Salvek, who stood idly at my side as the train rolled to a halt.
Most of the occupants moved quickly to exit the car, while me and Salvek strolled casually out like it was just another Tuesday. Well, I guess not, since days didn’t technically exist on Venlil Prime. Being tidally locked meant that 1), the sun shone all the time, no matter what, and 2) my sleep schedule was absolutely fucked. Even after a couple weeks on the planet, I still woke up in a confused daze wondering why the sun was bleeding red in the middle of the night.
And here I am complaining about adjusting, when it was the locals who were having the real trouble. I was like Moses walking out of the station, for the sea of venlil parted in my wake. My shirt, stating in perfect venlilese “Dear Exterminators, My Eyes Face Sideways”, wasn’t much help.
It was the entire reason we were here in the first place. Being the savvy businessman that I was, I noticed the influx of humans coming since Tarva opened the borders were in dire need of fashionable and relevant t-shirts. It was an untapped market that the locals were in no rush to exploit. I needed money, humans needed funny t-shirts. In the great game of capitalism, that's what we call an opportunity.
But to start a business, I needed money in the first place. And unfortunately, Venlil Prime wasn’t yet interested in taking American MasterCard. So I needed venlil money. Ergo, I needed a loan from Salvek's bank. And since he was a real G, he agreed to come along.
A very roundabout way of explaining how I got sent to the slammer.
As I forced myself not to smile or display any ‘predatory gestures’ (a monumental task, considering the cuteness of the local company), I felt Salvek’s paw tug at my hand.
“Exterminators.”
Three of them, in fact, leaning against the wall like gangsters outside of a speakeasy. Two of them weren’t fully suited up, idly chatting away over what appeared to be their lunch break. The third, however, hid his eyes behind a reflective visor, and his fur beneath one of those fireproof silver suits they liked to run around in. On one hip was holstered a rather pathetic little peashooter, likely not even a .22. His flamethrower, on the other hand, was just begging to spew jellied gasoline all over me. That would ruin my shirt, and today was not the day I’d lose my million dollar idea to some KKK member cosplaying as a pyro main.
Salvek clenched his paw as the suited one began to take notice. “Hey, are you sure about this? What if they-“
“I’ll be fine, man.” I patted Salvek on the back. “Worst comes to worst, I can take him on with the old one two.” I threw two fists in the air, producing markedly worried expressions from passing venlil and Salvek.
“It’s not funny, Jack.” Salvek tried to tug me the other way, like an ant trying to pull Everest. “You know what they do for a living.”
I was quite aware, but given we were in the middle of a busy train station, and I was just a guy wearing a funny t-shirt, I was confident nothing was going to happen. There was still the slight possibility of coming away just a little bit crispier, but hey, not my fault my eyes faced forward. So I met the exterminators march with a confident swagger of my own.
“Random search.” He spoke gruffly, poking the flamethrower at my chest, “No sudden movements.”
“Alright, alright.” I raised my arms into a t-pose like I’d done a thousand times before, but the exterminator swatted them down.
“Keep those hands at your side, predator!” He barked.
“Sorry for just following the procedure.”
“Well the procedures changed, so keep those claws down!”
“Claws?” I couldn’t help but snicker. “Jesus man, take a fucking chill pill.”
"I swear to the protector above, if you don't shut your brahking mouth-"
"You're gonna set me on fire, right?"
To be fair, I was pushing my luck here. But these guys were assholes, and I had to admit, it was very fun to push their buttons.
The exterminator huffed before beginning his pat down. Gloved paws went up and down my chest, across my arms, searching fruitlessly for any sort of hidden weapon. Little did he know, my true hidden weapon was charm.
"Down on your knees." He barked.
"Making me kneel isn't gonna produce a glock from my ass, buddy."
"I. said. down." The flamethrower against the small of my back was the motivation I needed, apparently. Once I was, he got my hands in a pair of handcuffs, pushed me down to the floor, and renewed his search once more. Search was putting it generously. At this point, it was more of a beatdown.
"Look, I know you're pissed your wife has gone off to Wales to get herself some action, but you don't need to take it out on me."
“Wales, must be one of your death camps, huh?”
"Yeah, real terrible." I chuckled. "They brainwash poor venlil into never wanting to leave. I'm afraid that your wife ain't never coming back."
"Well, good thing I don't have a wife."
Maybe that's what I should've expected. Can't imagine this massive black hole of an ass pulling anything more than himself out of bed in the morning.
"Felsha, I don't think he has anything on him." One of the off duty ones said. "Unless he really did shove something up his ass."
"No...", a paw slipped into my pocket, "but maybe it's not a weapon we're looking for."
"Hey, hey, what are you doing with my pad?"
The exterminator dangled one of my few possessions right in front of my face, as though I didn't dislike him enough. "I'm just checking to see what type of plans you got on here."
"What, do you think your gonna find a fucking manifesto?"
"Oh, you predators are so empathetic, so kind." He pulled a small looking USB thing from his pocket and stuck it into my pads' charging port. “We all know what you predators really plan on doing.”
His buddies decided to come over to snoop through my pad. Not like they were gonna find anything, but considering their smug looks (I assume), they’re not the type to care for standards of evidence.
As they hacked into my pad, I shimmed over to see Salvek still standing at my side, despite the wide berth the crowds were giving us. That’s why he was my G. He wasn’t afraid like all the rest of them. I bet he was stewing to give these assholes a piece of his mind. Or fist. Either one would make me happy.
The exterminators were happy too, as far as their ear waggles told me. “Oh, what do we have here? Care to explain this?” The helmeted one spun my pad around, displaying a photo from…
“Russia. That’s from Russia." A deep sense of unease suddenly welled up from my stomach. "I fought in their civil war.”
It was far from the front lines, near the outskirts of Moscow. Me and my squad were about to be sent back to the trenches, so we decided to get one last photograph in. We promised each other we would retake once everything was over.
Half of them were six feet under now.
“So you're a soldier, huh? And you and your buddies here are planning some sort of attack?”
“Shut the fuck up.” The anger that came to my voice even surprised me. It certainly did the exterminators, who flinched at my outburst.
The helmeted one regained his composure the quickest. “This one’s dangerous. We need to bring him in."
"Why not just burn him now?" One of the others asked.
The helmeted one took one look at me, then to a slightly quivering Salvek, then to the crowds. Some onlookers had begun to record the scene on their pads. He sighed.
"He's too dangerous to be dealt with here. We'll deal with him at the station. Get up."
"Jack!" Salvek called out as the exterminators brought me back to my feet.
I threw back a smile his way. "I'll be good bro. These guys won't lay a claw on me." Despite the fact that they were in fact laying several claws on me.
Salvek went to approach, but the one free exterminator stepped between me and him. "Stay back, he's dangerous."
"But he's my exchange partner!"
"Yeah, count yourself lucky you're still alive." He pushed him off to the side. "Don't convince me you have PD now too." Considering their standard of evidence so far, it probably wouldn't take much for him to slap Salvek with that label.
"Just promise me you'll come back!" Salvek called over as I was led out of the building. "Jack?"
"I will, bro, I will!"
As I was pulled out into the sunlight towards the waiting van, two things were on my mind. One, I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my promise to Salvek.
Two, this all started because I just wanted to sell a fucking T-shirt.
The exterminators would've made a terrible taxi service. They bundled me into the back of the van like I was being black-bagged by the CIA. They didn't even put me in a seat, they just threw me on the floor and double checked my restraints were in place. Then I'm pretty sure they ran over every speed bump in the goddamn city, just to give me back problems on top of the napalm suppository I was about to get.
Or maybe I was just exaggerating. After all, Tarva had been pretty adamant about the program going well. If anything bad happened to us, she would organize an execution that would make the North Koreans jealous.
Still, I couldn't discount one of these great value KKK members getting a little too trigger happy. For mine and Salvek's sake, I hoped they could keep their lids on.
The van finally rolled to a stop after what felt like hours of rolling across Russian trenches, and the bastards finally let me see the light of day once again. They not so gently dragged me out of the van and towards the facade of an absolutely massive building. A literal giant slab of concrete, looked almost designed to survive a direct nuke strike. Hell, maybe I was right.
I had no time to appreciate the alien brutalist aesthetic, for the exterminators quickly pushed me inside. The interior was remarkably sterile, probably scrubbed down to remove the 'predatory taint' they were talking about in the front cabin. It gave me great comfort to know that the highly advanced fluffy aliens had medical understanding comparable to that of a fucking plague doctor.
They pushed me along what felt like an endless series of identical corridors, always making sure to keep the flamethrower pressed against my back. I was pretty sure the pilot light singed the shirt at this point, although I was in no position to check. As long as they didn't fuck with the text, I was all good.
That could be a good T-shirt slogan. 'I got kidnapped by the exterminators, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt'. That shit would sell gangbusters.
Thinking about business opportunities helped to distract me from the slog. Before long, I was led through a series of heavy duty doors, before finally standing before what appeared to be some sort of isolation chamber. Guarded by another heavy duty door, with way mirrors giving a view to the padded interior.
The exterminators pushed me inside, locked the door behind me, and left without a single word. Except one, who spoke through the grainy intercom.
"The only reason you're alive right now is because our governor has come down with a case of PD. But make one brahking move, and I'll make sure your no longer an issue."
"Look dude, all I wanted to do was to sell a shirt."
"Shut up!" he barked. "The EC is gonna roll around pretty soon here. Pray to your disgusting gods that she's just as PD'd as the governor."
"Wait, EC?"
"Yeah, Exterminator Commander. She's a real bitch. Have fun."
The mic cut off, leaving me with the pleasant idea of meeting the equivalent of a grand wizard.
Christ, I hope Salvek is doing alright. He probably wasn't in any trouble. He was too smart to do that. Unlike me, Jackson Kern, certified dumbass.
Maybe if I hadn't been so smug, I wouldn't be here in the first place. Should've just kept my mouth shut, taken the high road, but noooo. You had to tell the guy holding the flamethrower that predators were fucking his wife six ways to Sunday.
And he didn't even have a wife!
I began devising escape plans, but they quickly became bullshit you'd find in loony tunes. My cuffs weren't in any mood to be pulled apart, and the door looked too buff to be bashed through. And even managing that, you don't bring just muscle to a gun and flamethrower fight. In a maze, surrounded on all sides by aliens ready to put you down on a dime. Unless I could pull some John McClane tier shit, my ass was staying put.
All I could do was wait.
And wait.
Annnnd wait.
If it wasn't clear by now, they were probably doing this on purpose. Waiting to see if I would snap, transform into a werewolf or something like that. I wouldn't do that, of course. That would rip the shirt.
After what felt like the average lifespan of a US politician, another voice came over the speaker, this time female.
"Name?"
Definitely female, from the read given by my translator. Surprisingly calm too, given this was supposedly the head honcho of the place. Maybe she's holding back?
"Uh, Jackson Kern."
"Jackson Kern." There was a pause. "They didn't get your name."
"They didn't ask."
"Or anything else, for that matter." There was a sigh. "Of course they didn't follow procedure."
"They told me the procedure changed."
Another pause. "Brahking typical. Trying to run a tight operation here, and they can't even follow the rulebook. Why did they bring you in?"
"They said it was a random check. They were guarding the exit to the station. Singled me out when I tried to leave."
"And were you doing anything that warranted being stopped by an exterminator?"
What was with all these questions? This was an exterminator commander, apparently. I couldn't tell, because the voice was almost sounding reasonable.
"I didn't do anything. I was just trying to get to the bank, but they had something to say about that."
"So nothing?"
"As though you would believe me. I'm a predator, after all."
"No, I've seen the data, the brainscans, the empathy tests." There was what sounded like shuffling on the other side. "You humans are nothing like the arxur, that much is clear. I wish my juniors could understand that, but some skulls are too thick to peck through, if you know what I mean."
I knew very much what she meant. I was more surprised that this woman actually believed me, the only person on this planet besides Salvek to do so. That had to mean something.
Or it could all still be an act. So she was either smart enough to be playing me, or smart enough to understand me. Either way, she was fucking Einstein in comparison to the rest of the planet.
"So am I in...trouble?"
"No, not unless you cause any." she said. "And you don't strike me as that type of person."
Wait, she called me a person. That was a marked improvement over 'predator'. Many she actually wasn't fucking insane?
"So...can I get out of here?"
"Give me a second." The mic cut, followed shortly by the door opening. The most strikingly blue bird I'd ever seen (one of those 'krakotl', I think) stepped through and into the cell. Her stride didn't even waver as I stared at her.
I knew the birds were braver than the venlil, but this one didn't even seem to register my presence. She stepped around to my back, and before long my cuffs clattered on the ground. Her talons didn't even move to her holstered pistol as I stretched my arms out.
"Apologies for the whole ordeal." she said. "We're supposed to be protecting the herd, not wasting our time doing this."
"Being called a waste of time is the best compliment I've received from you types so far." and not even the best thing she called me in the conversation. She called me a person.
Her expression changed to one that I could only guess was flattery. "The guild has to change to the times. We can't go around treating you like arxur forever. Unless you actually plan on becoming like them..."
"I'll make sure to let you know in advance." She laughed, or did some squawk that my translator pulled as a laugh. But the fact that she could laugh at a joke about me becoming like those psycho nazi lizards?
Maybe this 'Exterminator Commander' wasn't so bad after all.
It almost felt wrong when she guided me along uncuffed back through the facility, as she ensured her colleagues that I was no danger. Not that they seemed convinced, but her words seemed to carry weight, and they raised no objection. Before long, all my possessions (i:e my pad) were returned, and I was staring at the eternal sunshine once more.
The E.C guided me through the parking lot, waved off the gate guard, and led me over to the sidewalk. I was still expecting all this to be a trap, and for a dozen exterminators to pop out of the shadows and gun me down. But they didn't seem like the types to drag out the kill.
The guy at the station wanted to burn me right then and there. If she wanted me dead, I wouldn't be here right now.
I turned to face the krakotl, still unbothered by my presence. I tried to think of something important to say, but I couldn't really think of much besides a simple,
"Thank you, I guess."
Her expression changed to one I could only guess was gratitude. "Just try not to get in trouble. Otherwise we might have to meet again."
That honestly didn't sound too bad. "I'll try not to."
"And if you do, give me a call." She handed me a small slip of paper with venlilese script written all across. "Assuming you don't actually go full predator, I can get you out of a tight spot."
She began walking back towards the facility, before a random thought came to my mind. "Hey, wait!"
The kraktol spun on the spot. "Problem?"
"I...wanted to know your name."
She tilted her head off to the side, and I swore she would've given me a smile if she could.
"Jelim."
"Jelim." The name had a good ring to it. "Nice to meet you."
"You too, Jackson Kern."
"Just Jack."
I don't know why I clarified my nickname. Maybe there was some feeling we were gonna meet again, or something like that.
"Well Jack, good luck." She went to leave again, before turning around one final time.
"By the way, I like the shirt."
With that, she stepped back through the gate, and disappeared behind the wall.
I let go of a massive sigh and let my posture relax for the first time in what felt like forever.
Yeah, the whole alien business hadn't gone as I hoped. Most of the planet still hated my guts, the galaxy hated everyone's guts, and I was one wrong step away from being lit up like the fourth of july fireworks show.
But maybe it wasn't all bad. My shirt made it through the day unscathed, I had someone high up who had my back, and Salvek was still my bro.
Speaking of him, I shot off a quick text letting him know I was okay and to come pick me up. Seeing him happy and relieved was definitely going to brighten up my day, but until then?
There was another long wait ahead of me, and I was in the mood for some Clash of Clans.

Assalamualaikum, 21/F here. Me and the guy I love, 25M have known each other for 3 years now and have been planning to get married soon In Shaa Allah. We, atleast I have always been religiously loyal since I started talking to him. We don't meet each other (I know talking is still haraam but please pray so that we can make it halaal asap). Few days ago, he somehow for some reason entered my social media account and dragged down to 2018, 2019 chats, when I was 15ish years old. We both are from a very conservative society. He read some of my conversations with some guys. Nothing sexual. But most where the guys are flirting with me, and I did not dismiss them. I will admit, I did like getting attention. Not to justify, but I was very ugly when I was young (being called ugly even by own people), then I had a very significant glow-up so I guess I wanted validation. The conversations with each guy was like for a day or so, those conversations weren't regular. Never shared photos or anything sexual in any way. But soon when I reached 18 or 19, I realized it was wrong and lowering my own worth, So i stopped replying or accepting any follow/ friend request from any guy. And even he saw, there has been no single conversation with any guy since 2020.
But after reading the conversations, hes been so disgusted at me, he says he sees me differently now. He says i was 'very easy to get' type of girl and he was completely unaware of it. Not that I tried to hide or lie about anything, I just didn't think it was that necessary to talk about, never crossed my mind.
I hate the way I was in my teenage, I wanted attention. But I rectified myself soon enough, and still am very ashamed of it. But Alhamdulillah, I have grown up and very different now, I never talk to any male (I live alone, abroad).
I don't know what to ask specifically. I feel so helpless. He really loves me and even says he can never let go of me, but his perspective on my really changed. Will his emotion fade away? or this is something long-term and I should do something about it? His emotions were so heightened, he was saying that I 'hoed' around. He barely talked to any girl all his life, so I do understand his emotions. I don't know. Any suggestions would help. Also, I just need to talk about it somewhere.

I’m a Perishable Manager in a mid-volume store (about $370k a week) and I don’t understand what more I can do. The SM doesn’t want me holding anyone accountable for their actions bc she fears we’ll lose them. Instead, wants me to pick up their slack instead of coaching them. In my 7-3 shift, I do everything within the market including grinding, cutting, maintaining the meat case, EPPT, lunch meat back stock and new lunch meat, frozen meat & seafood and back stock, chicken, the whole nine yards so my closer can cruise through the night. I even find time to do an order review through FF & Ice cream daily (manually order) in my limited market time. Even then though, it’s like as soon as I leave, my closer does absolutely nothing till 6-7. I still walk into an empty meat case and unconditioned market. My SM says we can’t afford to lose anyone so instead of coaching, try to do more during the day. I don’t know what more I can possibly do during the day, as when I leave at 3 the case is full and everything is done. It never helps that FF & Dairy is always struggling or call offs and I’m expected to maintain the market and run those trucks too (impossible). I feel like this job is a never ending battle and life would be easier if I went to another grocery chain and was just a Meat Department Manager.

I pretty much had office jobs from software dev and a downward spiral to min wage call centre jobs.. I went from 180lbs to 275lbs in a span of 3 years and I could never get the weight off since. It's been shit job after shit job from that point on, with a low point of 4 years worth of UberX, Uber eats, and being an Instacart driver.
Then the pandemic hit, and I got a job as a driver for a medical company. I thought it was so much physically for me I literally spent 3 weeks barely able to lift my arms after my shift... But now looking back, that was a joke of physical labour!
I just got a job and started last week as a traffic control tech for highway division.. in the past 7 days I've worked muscles I never even knew I had, my shoulders and back are killing me, it's a real pain. I'm what's called a barrel bitch. You know those orange barrels on the hwy with 30lb weights on the bottom so they don't go flying? I pickup stacks of them and lay them on the hwy to close lanes, then I pick them up at the end of the day and stack them up in the truck... I'm obviously not doing all the work alone, there's usually 2 people doing all that work, with a third in the truck driving and a fourth in a crash truck behind us for protection.
This is about the most physical work I've ever done. I really thought I was gonna quit and not show up the third day, but I woke up, got dressed, and pushed on knowing the pain I will be in that night....
I feel like this is about the happiest I've ever been with myself. I never thought I could do manual labour jobs, and honestly, this is probably going to be just a hair above the most money I've ever made, but this is just the starting wage... But the most I'm shocked about is that I've woken up today, Monday, for a new week, and still got dressed, and did the most work I've ever done physically in a single day... I feel very proud of myself for being able to do that.
Anyways, I just wanted to put all this into words. I'm happy today. I haven't been this happy in years. I haven't been this confident of my abilities in a decade at least. This summer is gonna be incredibly satisfying

Denver fades into the distance and with it go the instructions I'd learned over the past three days. They'll be of no use to me. Swallowed up by the mountains just like my willpower consuming and hiding away the prepackaged dreams given to me at birth. I know that as far as I can help it I'll never set foot in that damn city's assembly hall again. The road home has ended in a literal sense. And the one in metaphor is on its last stretch. 25 days and I'll be an adult. Off the course chosen for me and free to choose a new route, a new destination.
It's a bitter sweet feeling at the same time. I can say that when I wasn't sitting there listening to endless ramblings or watching videos to fuel paranoia I had a wonderful time. I sang and laughed with my family the whole ride. It was light and fun otherwise, almost a vacation. That I will miss. It's a shame we can't enjoy a normal getaway.
Though I can smile for some time a small voice whispers in my ear. Reminding me that these things take up all our spare money that could be spent on us as a normal family. It tells me that all I've ever wanted is to spend time with people I love who want to be with me. But too many times that happens only with religion as the forefront. The voice mocks me, it tells me once I leave we'll never have outings like this again. It sneers and laughs as it says I'll never be stronger than the religion that's taken my life, my family, and my autonomy.
I am stronger though. I can't change my family, I can't make them value me more than their beliefs. But I can value myself more than the judgement of them or any so called holy men. I can and I will make my own family. I'll find someone who loves me regardless of what I believe. Someone who'll make time to go somewhere with me. And if I can't find someone I can damn well do it myself.
Fuck you Watchtower. You can take everything from me but you'll never take myself. It won't mean much to lose a lowly woman to you I know. But I'm still young, and I hope I'll still be here to watch you fall.

For context, I have straight, thin, fine hair. About a year and a half ago I noticed a chunk on the right side of my hair toward the front of my face was dry, frizzy, thinned out. I think it began when I started wearing my hair up in a high bun to bed (I now know that can cause damage and haven’t been doing it since I noticed the problem), but the problem has not resolved itself since then, and I’ve cut several inches off at a time. Recently, I started treating it as a curl - when wet, it curls up on its own and I can finger coil to define it more. Some individual strands are crinkly, which leads me to believe this is just overstretched hair that is changing texture. I’ve been super good to my hair, though - brushing gently only on dry hair, applying leave in conditioner to wet hair and oiling it when dry, wearing in braids when I run around to avoid friction, and sleeping on satin pillow cases. I’m just wondering what caused this, why it hasn’t grown out after almost 2 years, and what I can do (if possible) to return to my straight hair.

Years ago, when I was just a kid, my parents took me to a neighborhood yard sale. It was one of those lazy Saturday mornings, with tables set up in driveways and lawns, cluttered with all sorts of treasures and junk. I wandered through the aisles, running my hands over old books, mismatched toys, and forgotten knick-knacks, when my eyes were drawn to a beat-up copy of Toy Story on VHS. The cover was tattered, almost peeling away, and the tape inside looked a bit warped, but being a huge fan of the movie, I felt an instant attachment. I convinced my mom to buy it for me. It was only a dollar, and she agreed, probably thinking it was a harmless way to make me happy.
Life, as it tends to do, got busy. The tape got buried under a pile of other things in my room. School, sports, new video games, and hanging out with friends took over, and months went by before I even remembered I had the tape. Then one rainy afternoon, bored out of my mind and trapped inside by the weather, I decided to finally watch it. I dug through my cluttered closet, found the old VCR, and popped the tape in, eager for a nostalgic trip down memory lane.
From the start, there were issues. The image quality was poor, with colors fading in and out, and the sound was slightly distorted. Parts of the movie skipped, creating a jarring, disjointed effect, and the whole thing had a scratchy, grainy look. I figured it was just because the tape was old and worn, and shrugged it off. I was just happy to watch one of my favorite childhood movies.
However, as I watched, I began to notice something strange. There were moments when the characters seemed to look directly at the camera, at me. I didn’t recall them breaking the fourth wall in the movie. Woody’s gaze lingered a second too long, and Buzz Lightyear seemed to almost nod in my direction. It was unsettling, but I brushed it off as my imagination or a glitch in the tape. I told myself it was just the result of the poor quality and kept watching.
A few weeks later, curiosity got the better of me. The memory of those odd moments gnawed at the back of my mind, and I decided to watch it again to see if I’d imagined the weirdness. This time, it was even more pronounced. Woody and Buzz seemed to make eye contact with me more often. At one point, Woody even gave a slight wink. It felt like they were aware of my presence, watching me as I watched them. My skin prickled with unease, but I convinced myself it was just a coincidence, an artifact of the tape’s degradation.
The final time I played it was when things took a truly horrifying turn. I was home alone one evening. The house was quiet, the kind of silence that makes every creak and groan stand out. I decided to give the tape one last try, more out of a morbid sense of curiosity than anything else. I settled into the couch, the remote in one hand, and pressed play.
The movie started as usual, with its scratchy and distorted quality. But as it progressed, the feeling of unease grew stronger. Woody and Buzz's glances seemed longer, their smiles less friendly. My heart started to pound, but I kept watching, unable to tear myself away. Then, as the movie reached its climax, both Woody and Buzz turned to the camera, their expressions shifting to something unsettlingly human. Their eyes seemed to bore into mine, and then, they spoke in unison. "We know you're watching, [my name]."
I froze. My heart felt like it was about to explode, and my skin crawled with fear. How did they know my name? I stopped the tape and ejected it immediately, my hands trembling. I was too shaken to even think about watching it again.
Determined to get rid of it, I tried burning the tape that night. But no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t catch fire. It seemed almost indestructible. I attempted to cut it up with scissors, smash it with a hammer, anything to destroy it, but each time I tried, the tape would somehow reappear on my video shelf, completely intact. It was as if it was mocking me, refusing to be erased from my life.
Realizing that the tape didn’t want to be destroyed, I decided to get rid of it another way. A couple of weeks later, we held our own yard sale. I slipped the tape into the pile of items I was selling, hoping to pass the curse onto someone else. An older woman bought it for a couple of bucks, smiling as she added it to her collection of retro movies. I watched her walk away with a mixture of relief and guilt, hoping I was free of it.
To this day, I don’t know what was wrong with that tape or how the characters in Toy Story knew my name. All I know is that somewhere out there, that cursed VHS is sitting on someone else’s shelf, waiting to be played. I can’t help but feel a shiver of dread whenever I think about who might find it next, and what might happen when they do. Maybe it’s still out there, looking for its next victim. Maybe it's already found them.

The FDA Pharmacist that called me in regards to my letter to the President called me back this morning. I wrote to the President out of frustration over the opioid shortages and the DEA cuts. My letter was sent to the FDA for follow up. The FDA pharmacist was very kind and if nothing else I feel a tad bit more heard. Apparently he is the only one that volunteers to reach out to people to follow up, that’s a bit frustrating. I explained that at the time of my letter I’d been without medication or under medicated due to the shortage. He seemed to think that any shortages wouldn’t be longer than a week or two. I explained that I’ve got thousands of patients that can tell him otherwise. We went over the DEA aggregate production level quota for 2024 (DEA docket ID 2023-0150-0150) I asked what the end game was, he didn’t know. I said patients believe that the DEA wants to end opiate production all together. He said that won’t happen because cancer patients need those meds. I said I see cancer patients everyday that doctors won’t even prescribe to for fear of addiction. He said that was wrong and shouldn’t happen. I agreed but it is happening. He said his family has experienced this with ADHD meds and they were lied to by their pharmacy and he was sympathetic. He said that one thing that’s different is that the DEA changed the rules so they could up production if shortages were occurring, that they couldn’t do that last year. I told him that the FDA wasn’t acknowledging some shortages that were reported to the Drugshortages@fda.hhs.gov address last year. He didn’t think that was true. I asked him where we go from here because CP patients are actively talking about ending it all rather than suffer. He advised continuing to contact our representative. I told him that we definitely would. I’m not sure how productive this was, but I’m going to keep bugging the hell out of people until our voices are heard. I wish I had better results for us all.

The images I posted are some of the messages by women who have had their belongings taken by the City of Fresno’s Homeless Assistance and Response Team (HART)
It’s heartbreaking that while people are trying to get back on their feet and others in the community have given a lot of time and energy to help them, the purposefully, yet ironically named HART Team, minus the outreach arm who seem to be added to validate claims of help, are endangering them and impeding their efforts to get housing and obtain/maintain work.
I made a post about Fresno’s HART team with more information about the experiences of those who are unhoused and those who have worked with them or know them, as well as ways to speak up at our upcoming budget hearing,
Please speak up against the City of Fresno’s funding of the Homeless Assistance and Response Team. On the Mayor’s budget, it states that the team helps people out of homelessness through their efforts with dignity and compassion.What they do is the opposite, as the HART team is known for taking all of people’s belongings, including essential living items) by force or threat of arrest, violating many human rights and city policies, and treating them as subhuman (I know so many people who have trauma response when they see that crusher because of the havoc they cause). Their actions are impeding people from getting into housing, holding a job, or any other actions to move forward, as they take people's documentation, phones, paperwork, work clothes and equipment, and as one man succinctly needed, if they have to start back at square one getting food, clothing, blankets, etc to survive, they are delayed from the process of housing and work. The images I posted are some of the messages by women who have had their belongings taken by HART.
They are not reducing homelessness or encampments, they are perpetuating displacement for tens of millions of dollars (the HART police got an increase to $10 million two years ago, which allowed them to be active on weekends and holidays
Considering that the city faces a $47 million deficit and most other departments are seeing cuts other than the police department and that the increase in funding to HART was added during times with greater revenue and state/federal funding, this is more reason to ask that the money put into HART would be more effective in projects and services that directly help minimize street homelessness and provide permanent housing and job acquisition/stability.
Schedule: The Planning and Development Department that oversees homeless services and HART is Tuesday. Police & Public Utilities Departments, where personnel for HART are funded, is Wednesday. Code Enforcement is under the City Attorney's office on Thursday. Public comment is at the beginning of the day at 9am
There is also a vote in motions on June 12 and final vote on June 20.
Speak up on alternatives: warming centers to be open all winter long, well-managed safe camps, funding for the Emergency Rental Assistance program that is being cut, jobs program at shelters and program to connect employers, rent stabilization so more people don't become displaced, a lived experience committee that could help come with better solutions, etc..
WHEN YOU CAN SPEAK UP:
Anytime! You can email or call your councilmembers.
Email clerk@fresno.gov subject “Public Comment, Budget Hearing [insert the department]”
At the budget hearings June 3-6, (meeting starting at 9am and going all day)
Join in person at City Hall, second story, 2600 Fresno Street OR
Zoom: www.fresno.gov/budget-hearings
If you would like to get notifications on when the departments come up during the hearings, please contact me at cvcommunityaction@gmail.com or DM.