Red bumps in back of throat and swollen taste buds

For those who did everything our parents told us to do... now what?

2009.08.04 21:23 youngfight For those who did everything our parents told us to do... now what?

For those who did everything our parents told us to do... now what? --- Hello everyone! We've gone dark to protest Reddit's API changes towards third party apps.
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2010.09.01 08:47 In-N-Out Burger

This subreddit is dedicated to In-N-Out Burger, its associates, and the guests who dine at our stores.
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2012.04.16 05:12 tabasquito Entrepreneur Ride Along

A community of like minded individuals that are looking to solve issues, network without spamming, talk about the growth of your business (Ride Along), challenges and high points and collab on projects together. Stay classy, no racism, humble and work hard. Catch Localcasestudy at Rohangilkes.com
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2024.06.04 21:15 Bestoftheworstest Is this protein bread for real?!

Yesterday i found this Mestemacher Protein Bread when looking for a healthy lunch on the go (with soup). I am amazed at the protein content - how could this have 22 g of protein for just two slices? And so much fiber...
I can see that there are added pea and soy proteins. That doesn't bother me. I can't detect anything alarming in the ingredients list. I want to go back and stock up on like 50 bucks worth of this stuff because it's really good with soup or cream cheese. I've never come across any bread with this nutritional value that doesn't taste like a$$.
What are your thoughts on this bread? Is there anything in the ingredients I should avoid? Is it a red flag that this stuff can be kept unopened for so long (expiry is in Dec 2024...)?
Thanks!
submitted by Bestoftheworstest to nutrition [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:08 Jordanmychael Also try this..

So...this will come off indifferent, but I have experienced a resolution using this technique once. At times your bad breath can simply be a build up of mucus/blood/smoke resin etc etc....these things can potentially build and stick in the esophagus/back of tongue/tonsils and lungs.....NOW...I once used hotish water...try to get it a bit hotter than warm water, add salt(for abrasion) and, or baking soda(to help break up the build up). When you drink the water, get enough to fill your esophagus as if you're gargling...begin to gargle is it with force, not softly and do not be scared of swallowing...but when you officially swallow the hot water...make an attempt to direct it to disperse down your throat differently(purposely attempt to send it to "the wrong pipe") try to get the hot water to get on the lung walls and esophageal walls and if it works...you should taste and feel the bad breath travel with the water....I'm trying to explain but if you don't understand what I'm explaining, lmk and I'll try to explain it more clear
submitted by Jordanmychael to badbreath [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 21:03 Sir-Thugnificent [Book Excerpt - Asurmen : Hand of Asuryan] a doomsayer warning a crowd of Eldar before the Fall is chased out after showing them horrifying visions of the future

Context : flashback of when the Phoenix Lord Asurmen, who was then a young Eldar called Illiathin, came across a woman being part of an early version of the people warning the populace about the Fall of Eldar, who were at the time just considered a nuisance. This scene takes place right after a sporting race hosted in a luxurious arena filled to the brim with people.
The excitement of the coronal flare and the encounter with the star-rider was quite enough activity for Illiathin, so he sought a space at one of the many hostelries that lined the starward edge of the gallery. Choosing a venue at the very edge of the crowd, he was able to slip into a space recently vacated by another sunwatcher. The disc-like table grew a seating appendage at his approach, extruding itself a little further from the floor to compensate for Illiathin’s long legs. Bathed in the field-dimmed light of the star, Illiathin sat and reviewed the holographic menu before mentally selecting a strong wine and a selection of confectionery to accompany it. Moments « after the wish was made a floating tray brought his order to the table, its prehensile limb depositing the jug, glass and plate before him.
He enjoyed watching other people more than joining them. The gallery, one of his favourite haunts, was quiet compared to the many times he had been there before. Most of the stellar fanatics had left Eidafaeron to watch a supernova in Naethamesh a few hundred light years away. Illiathin had decided to forego the occasion, thinking it a little morbid to hold a festival in celebration of the death of a star. He leaned back, the chair adjusting to his languid recline. Stretching out his legs, Illiathin indulged in his favourite pastime: doing nothing at all except watching others.
Among the throng he noticed a disturbance. People were parting like water before the bow of a sailing yacht. Into the gap strode a severe-looking figure, her hair bound tight with jewelled pins, her cheeks marked by vertical streaks of stylised red tears. Alone amongst the teeming eldar she wore a robe of white, the colour of death and mourning, but it was not this that caused the crowd to retreat from her approach. « She was talking, not to herself, but to everyone nearby. Illiathin touched a hand to the lobe of his ear, activating the implants of his inner ear. Instantly he was able to focus on her words.
´…this shall not end in peace but in war with ourselves. Our great foe remains, within ourselves, when all others have been conquered. To what mischief will idle minds turn ? To what depravity will we stoop when our lives no longer have meaning? What sensation shall we crave when the exotic has become mundane ?’
As the doomsayer turned towards Illiathin he realised too late that it was not her words that were driving folk away, as ridiculous as they were, but the glow of the projector lenses fitted into her eyes. The moment he met her stare the psychoprojectors reached into his mind, conjuring up a scene from his own subconscious. He saw himself being burned alive by the stellar flare, each layer of his body stripped away an atom at a time. He watched in horror as skin, then fat, then muscle was flensed away, all that he was consumed by the fiery passion of the star. And then came the realisation that it was not the star that devoured him, but his own passions and desires, and that they were eating away inside him, hollowing out his spirit. Into this emptiness poured a filthy black fog, polluting his body, corrupting everything that he was. Breaking away from her gaze with an effort of will, Illiathin rose to his feet with an angry shout.
‘You’re insane!’ he yelled. ‘Fates-forsaken doom-monger, ply your misery elsewhere!’
The crowd was turning from agitated to hostile, the calls of derision becoming louder, a few threats thrown in with the denouncements.
‘Heed our words and know that our destroyer stalks us,’ the doomsayer shrieked, ducking as something was thrown at her. She had time to hurl one last warning before turning and running pursued by a hail of insults and a few improvised missiles.
‘The exodus is coming. Only those that join us will be saved!’
Her departure was followed by a hubbub of whispered curses and murmured displeasure. Illiathin turned to the table next to his, where a young couple were holding hands, their faces pensive as they watched the doomsayer disappear into the throng. He saw in their expressions fear and hesitant belief. Most of the doomsayers were young and rebellious, conflating frustration at a lack of personal philosophy with an inherent weakness in wider society.
‘Don’t pay her any heed,’ Illiathin told the couple. ‘You’ll find something of meaning in your lives. We all do eventually.’
They left with polite, unconvinced smiles and Illiathin watched them go. He sat down and took a mouthful of wine. Illiathin savoured the tastes for some time, eyes closed. He swallowed and lifted the goblet in mock salute to the departed doomsayer, the dire vision she had hurled into his thoughts already fading.
‘Life’s too long to spend it being miserable.
I can’t put into words how amazed I am by the very few insights of pre-Fall Eldar society. The impending doom atmosphere about it is just incredible.
submitted by Sir-Thugnificent to 40kLore [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:58 YakSlow2733 budgie leg may be broken?

So I noticed my budgie Cloudy limping this morning. I didn't see anything wrong with his leg, other than him limping and not putting much weight on it when he was standing. He's acting like his usual energetic self and uses the leg normally sometimes. But later I noticed a speck of blood on the tip of his beak and looked a little closer. Hidden beneath the feathers, his ankle is swollen and a little red at the front I read that budgie's legs can heal fast and go back to normal if they're in the right position, and it seems like his is when he is standing on both legs. What can I do for him if I can't get him to a vet?
submitted by YakSlow2733 to budgies [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:49 clootch1 New Orders Begin with Company Completion of Wholesale, Affiliate, Retail Website

New Orders Begin with Company Completion of Wholesale, Affiliate, Retail Website
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. (OTC: RWGI), a leading cannabis manufacturer and distributor, is thrilled to announce the successful launch of its new product line, Nutrient CBD. The line includes five innovative SKUs: 2 CBD Oil Tinctures, 1 CBD Roll-On, and 2 CBD Creams designed to meet the diverse needs of consumers seeking natural and effective wellness solutions.
Chris Swartz, CEO of Rodedawg, commented: "In the United States, cannabidiol products generated sales of roughly 5.3 billion U.S. dollars in 2021. By 2026, CBD product sales are predicted to reach nearly 16 billion U.S. dollars in the United States. Nutrient CBD is an entirely new product line that further expands our Wellness Division growth and complements our Elixicure Topical Pain Relief products toward driving revenue and increasing shareholder value. Our commitment to quality and innovation is reflected in these products, and we are confident they will resonate well with our customers."
The company utilizes proprietary formulas and manufactures these products in its own production facilities, ensuring the highest quality and consistency.
Nutrient CBD Product Line Overview:
CBD Oil Tincture: Our CBD Oil Tincture captures the essence of nature’s perfection in a bottle. This 100% American-sourced, USP grade CBD oil is combined with Cold-Pressed Organic Extra Virgin Flax Seed Oil, providing essential omega-3s along with vital CBD cannabinoids. The tincture offers numerous benefits:
CBD Roll-On: The Nutrient CBD Roll-On applicator delivers our specially formulated pain relief cream, which combines organic healing ingredients such as Willow Bark, Camphor, Shea Butter, Aloe, Menthol, and CBD. This product is perfect for relieving:
CBD Pain Cream: The CBD Pain Relief Pump XL with 8000mg of CBD provides potent pain relief for a variety of conditions. This product is ideal for those seeking a powerful and natural alternative to traditional pain relief methods.
About Rodedawg International Industries, Inc.
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. (OTC: RWGI) is focused on providing management services, acquisitions and restructuring resources throughout the regulated California cannabis market. We are a trusted partner and asset to licensed cultivation, distributors, manufacturers, and retail dispensaries.
Please note the company's Twitter address is ~https://twitter.com/RWGImerger~ for regular updates.
About Nutrient CBD
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. has launched Nutrient CBD, featuring five new products: CBD Oil Tincture, CBD Roll-On, and CBD Pain Cream. The CBD Oil Tincture combines 100% American-sourced, USP grade CBD with Cold-Pressed Organic Extra Virgin Flax Seed Oil, offering omega-3s and essential CBD cannabinoids. The CBD Roll-On delivers pain relief with organic ingredients like Willow Bark and Menthol, ideal for joint pain and muscle soreness. The CBD Pain Cream, with 8000mg CBD, provides potent relief for various conditions. All products are plant-based, organic, THC-free, vegan, non-GMO, and paraben-free, ensuring quality and satisfaction.
Nutrient CBD website: www.NutrientCBD.com
About Budding Horizon, LLC
Budding Horizon, LLC is a California Limited Liability Company with offices in Orange County, California. The company is focused to providing management services for the licensed cannabis industry and seeks to leverage its expertise in the real estate acquisitions to acquire and develop a portfolio of assets.
The company website is ~https://buddinghorizon.com/~
About Brother Buds™
Brother Buds is a cannabis delivery service based in Costa Mesa, California. During the month of July 2023, the Rodedawg will operate Brother Buds under a non-storefront cannabis delivery license. The cannabis delivery service will focus on Los Angeles County, Orange County, and norther San Diego County in the demographic area of 23.86 million in 2019. The company is focused to providing management services for the licensed cannabis industry and seeks to leverage its expertise in the real estate acquisitions to acquire and develop a portfolio of assets.
The company website is: ~https://BrotherBuds.com~
Make sure to follow us at: https://twitter.com/BrotherBudsOC
About Elixicure
Elixicure is a leading provider of manufacturing and capsule encapsulation services. We offer a wide range of services to meet the diverse needs of our clients, including capsule encapsulation, formulation, manufacturing, labeling and bottle filling. Our state-of-the-art facilities and experienced team of professionals allow us to deliver high-quality products and exceptional customer service. Whether you are looking for small-scale or large-scale production, we have the expertise and capabilities to meet your needs. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your manufacturing and encapsulation needs.
The company website is: https://elixicure.com/
Make sure to follow us at: https://twitter.com/Elixicure
Contact Information:
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. 1-800-793-0355 ir@buddinghorizon.com
Safe Harbor Statement: In addition to historical information, this press release may contain statements that constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Securities Act of 1933 and the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, as amended by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Forward-looking statements contained in this press release include the intent, belief, or expectations of the Company and members of its management team with respect to the Company's future business operations and the assumptions upon which such statements are based. Prospective investors are cautioned that any such forward-looking statements are not guarantees of future performance, and involve risks and uncertainties, and that actual results may differ materially from those contemplated by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause these differences include, but are not limited to, failure to complete anticipated sales under negotiations, lack of revenue growth, client discontinuances, failure to realize improvements in performance, efficiency and profitability, and adverse developments with respect to litigation or increased litigation costs, the operation or performance of the Company's business units or the market price of its common stock. Additional factors that would cause actual results to differ materially from those contemplated within this press release can also be found on the Company's website. The Company disclaims any responsibility to update any forward-looking statements.
SOURCE: Rodedawg International Industries, Inc.
submitted by clootch1 to OTCstockradar [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:48 adorablee216 Seeking Nail Glue Alternatives

I am late-diagnosed autistic and about 2 years ago I developed sensory issues with my fingernails. I started to hate when things touched the tops of my nails (the nail itself), and when things bumped or touched the tip of my finger. Around the same time I started wearing press-ons with KISS nail glue; I'd gotten acrylics and dip nails in the past, but stopped due to job restrictions, and I no longer had those restrictions so I just decided to go the cheaper route and do press ons. I discovered that the press-ons helped with the sensory issues since now nothing could touch my actual nail or my fingertips. Yay! A couple months ago, I developed what I think is contact dermatitis around my nails. Skin was red and swollen and flaky, but no pus, and just around my nails. Not all of them, my pinkies and ring fingers were oddly fine? I tried a non-toxic nail glue from target but that didn't help, so 2 weeks ago I got the Bondini hypoallergenic nail glue. I thought this was helping, as the skin began to heal over and the swelling is going down, but it's still quite flaky. I lotion when I can, and at night I do cuticle oil, lotion, and then put aquafor on the affected areas. I feel like it's helping, but on the chance it doesn't, is there anything I can do to protect my nails while not causing an infection?? I also crochet, and an acrylic yarn allergy had occurred to me, but my hands are totally fine outside of my fingers so I don't know that that's it. I work with my hands a lot (I'm a nanny and I also hand-wash my dishes), but again since it's just my fingers around the nail I feel the nail glue has to be the culprit :( I've tried the nail tabs and with how much I use my hands the nails just come off. If gel nails will help I can try that, I just don't want to worsen the infection if gel will make it worse. Does anyone have any suggestions?? If you've had a similar problem and found a solution, if you happen to know gel works where glue doesn't, if you have any alternative glue suggestions, etc. I don't know what to do outside of just taking the nails off but then that brings up the sensory issues, which are pretty bad and impossible to avoid triggering since...I use my hands a lot and can't avoid it :( Also I can go get allergy tested again but I got tested several years ago and wasn't allergic to anything. I know new allergies can develop though. I'm just poor so wanted to check here on the off chance someone else has had the same experience and found a solution.
submitted by adorablee216 to u/adorablee216 [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:44 Eelums86 [WTS] DESIGNER DISCOVERY SETS (DECANT)

DESIGNER DISCOVERY SETS for those interested in buying decants from specific lines. Current sizes I offer are 2ML 5ML 10ML and include everything listed under a brand. (I have many more brand lines to add soon) Any questions or mix matching feel free to reach out. ILL HELP YOU FIND WHAT YOU LIKE. (I may be missing some from each set but I am on the hunt. If you have one I am missing chat me I’m looking to buy or trade for it) $$$ SHIPPED CONUS
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.5]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.1]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.2]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.3]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.4]
Please check the list below as there are some colognes added that are not in photos. ⬇️
1 MILLION - OG, Parfum, Cologne, Intense, Elixir, Lucky, Prive, Royal
x8 -2ML $50
SPICEBOMB - OG, Extreme, Fraiche, Night Vision EDT, Night Vision EDP, Infrared, Infrared EDP
x7 -2ML $42
INVICTUS - OG, Intense, Aqua, Aqua 2016, Platinum, Victory, Legend
x7 -2ML $42
AZZARO WANTED - OG, Tonic, Night, Most Wanted, Most Wanted Parfum, EDP
x7 -2ML $42
PRADA LUNA ROSSA - OG, Eau sport, Carbon, Extreme, Ocean, Sport, Black
x7 -2ML $42
YSL Y - OG, Fraiche, EDP, Parfum, Live, Elixir
x6 -2ML $40
ACQUA DI GIO - OG, Profondo, EDP, Absolu, Profondo Lights, Profumo, Absolu Instinct, Parfum
x8 -2ML $50
DIOR HOMME - OG, Intense, Cologne, Parfum, Eau, Sport
x6 -2ML $40
MERCEDES-BENZ - OG, Silver, Intense, Cologne
x4 -2ML $20
MONT BLANC LEGEND - OG, Night, Spirit, Intense, EDP, Red
x6 -2ML $25
LE MALE - 2008 OG, Elixir, Le Beau, Navy, Stimulating Body Spray, Ultra, Fleur Du Male, Terrible, Fraicheur Intense, Parfum, Essence De Parfum, Fleur Du Male Cologne, Summer Spray, On Board, Aviator
x15 -2ML $102
PASHA DE CARTIER - OG, Parfum, Noire, Sport, Fraicheur Menthe
x5 -2ML $25
GIVENCHY PI - OG, Extreme, Neo, Air
x4 -2ML $24
VERSACE PH - OG, Dylan blue, Oud Noir
x3 -2ML $12
DIOR FAHRENHEIT - OG, Aqua, 32, Parfum, Absolute
x5 -2ML $40
BURBERRY - London, Brit, Rhythm, Rhythm Intense
x4 -2ML $16
MONT EXPLORER - OG, Platinum, Ultra Blue
x3 -2ML $12
BVLGARA AQVA - OG, Toniq, Marine, Amara, Atlantique, Marine Toniq
x6 -2ML $30
BOSS THE SCENT - OG, Intense, Absolute, Pure Accord, Parfum, Private Accord, Le parfum
x7 -2ML $36
COACH MEN - OG, Blue, Platinum, Green
x4 -2ML $18
A-MEN - OG, BMen, Malt, Havane, Shot, Urban, Tonka, Wood, Chili, Ultimate, IceMen, Kryptomint, Coffee, Leather, Zest
x15 - 2ML $105
PARFUMS DE MARLY - Herod, Sedley, Goldolphin, Percival, Darley, Kalan, Layton, Greenley, Pegasus, Layton Exclusif, Althair, Perseus, Haltane, Pegasus Exclusif, Oajan
x15 - 2ML $116
KILIAN - Angels Share, Apple Brandy, Roses On Ice, L’Heure Verte, Intoxicated, Bamboo Harmony, Vodka On The Rocks, Back To Black, Moonlight In Heaven, Black Phantom, Gold Knight, Sacred Wood, Dark Lord
++RARE ADD ONS++ Cruel Intentions , A Taste Of Heaven
x12 - 2ML $106
JOHN VARVATOS - OG, Artisan, Dark Rebel Rider, Artisan Blu, Oud, Dark Rebel, Artisan Pure
x7 - 2ML $35
DRAKKAR - Noir, Intense, Essence, Horizon
x4 - 2ML $14
DIESEL THE BRAVE - OG, Street, Spirit, Wild, Sound, Spirit Intense
x6 - 2ML $24
BAD BOY - OG, Parfum, Cobalt Parfum, Extreme
x4 - 2ML $20
GUCCI GUILTY - OG, EDP, Cologne, Absolute, Parfum, Elixir, Black
x7 - 2ML $42
MANCERA - Cedrat Boise, Tonka Cola, Red Tobacco, Lemon Line, Lemon Aoud Mint
x5 - 2ML $30
VALENTINO - Uomo, BIR, Coral Fantasy, Acqua, BIR Intense, Uomo Intense
x6 - 2ML $38
ARMANI CODE - OG, Absolu, A-List, EDP, Colonia, Profumo
x6 - 2ML $38
GUERLAIN IDEAL - OG, Cologne, Intense, EDP
x4 - 2ML $26
DIESEL - Green, Green Parfum, Fuel, Fuel L’Eau, Masculine, Plus Plus
x6 - 2ML $30
PRADA L’HOMME - OG, Intense, Water Splash
x3 - 2ML $20
CHANEL - Allure Homme, Allure Cologne, Allure Sport Extreme, Allure Sport, BDC EDT, BDC Parfum, BDC EDP
x7 - 2ML $48
CK ONE - OG, Platinum, Gold, Shock, All, Be, Summer Daze, Everyone
x8 - 2ML $32
YSL L’HOMME/ LA NUIT - OG, LNDL OG, Frozen Cologne, Libre, Cologne Gingembe, Jean Nouvel, Parfum intense, Le Parfum, Libre Cologne Tonic, Sport, Ultime, Cologne Bleue, LNDL Bleu Electrique, LNDL Le Parfum, LNDL Intense, LNDL Eau Electrique
x16 - 2ML $120
VERSACE MAN - OG, Eau Fraiche
x2 - 2ML $10
YSL KOUROS - Silver, Body
x2 - 2ML $12
D&G THE ONE - OG, Parfum, Sport, Grey, Gentleman, EDP
x6 - 2ML $32
TERRE D’HERMES - OG, Eau Givree, Parfum
x3 - 2ML $18
BENTLEY - Intense, Black, Silverlake, Absolute
x4 - 2ML $18
DIOR SAUVAGE - OG, Elixir
x2 - 2ML $14
CLONES - Khamrah, Asad, Ramz, Futura Parfum, CDN Intense, CDN Milestone, The Tux, Ameer Al Oud Intense, Fakhar, Badee Al Oud, Najdia, Ejazzi Silver, Tres Nuit Lyric, Hunter, L’aventure intense, Amber + Leather, Sharaf Blend
2ML $4 Each
MISCELLANEOUS - Boy Toy, Voyage, HIM, The Dreamer, Rogue Man, Star USA, Rochas Man, Deseo, Scandal, Light Blue, Light Blue Forever, Amber Intense, Phantom, Encre Noire, Gentleman Society
2ML $4-6 Each
submitted by Eelums86 to fragranceswap [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:40 Diligent_Theory_1536 Am I wrong for thinking people want nice things?

REUPLOADED FOR POST TITLE CLARITY
I (30m) have recently started dating a girl (26f) a few months ago. Things are going really well and she's amazing. I've never met someone as genuine and kind as her and she treats me like a king, however she won't let me treat her like a queen back.
I run a very successful company that I built from the ground up and now at the age of 30 I make amazing money. Without getting into specifics, I could basically afford to retire in 10 years or less if I wanted to, and live very comfortably. Since I have been out of the country for a week for work, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a pair of Louboutin heels. I found a pair in a style I know she likes and have seen her wear and wrapped them to surprise her when I took her out for dinner after getting back. When we got back to my house, I gave them to her and at first she seemed really excited and liked the style, but when she saw the red bottoms she asked how much the shoes cost. I refused to tell her, because to me the cost of the shoes doesn't matter, only if she likes them. She knew they were Louboutin though and guessed pretty close to the actual price and started getting upset. She told me they were too expensive and doesn't want me recklessly spending so much money on her when I could've bought her something in the same style but 1/10th of the price. Again, I assured her that I'm good for the money and would've been fine spending even more than what I did, but she wouldn't listen. She kept saying that it was too much and she can't possibly wear brand name clothes and doesn't want to be the girl dressed in Louboutin or Gucci etc... She kept telling me to return them and get her a cheaper pair of shoes in the same style, and to save my money for something more important. I told her that I already have my finances figured out and I'm almost set for retirement and I don't need to worry anymore about saving or being frugal because I'm already there. I said if things continue to go well and we are together for the long term, she won't even have to work if she doesn't want to since I make more than enough for the both of us.
She makes significantly less than I do and is very frugal. She doesn't struggle, but I know brand names and luxury purchases are off the table for her. I am always offering to pay for things, buy her gifts, and even pay her bills if she's really stressing about them and I'm always turned down. I understand she's independent and wants to work for what she has- I love that about her and it's one of the reasons I feel we work well together because I know she's not after my money. But I feel frustrated at being turned down every time I offer. Don't girls want to be spoiled? I thought every woman's dream was to have nice things or be spoiled by their partner? I asked her a few weeks ago what her dream car would be, assuming it was free and she could have anything she wanted, and she said her dream car was a Toyota Highlander. Not a sports car, not anything even... really all that desirable. Out of all the cars, she picked such a basic one. I feel like she and I are in different worlds and it's like she can't even comprehend that she could have so much more if she let me help. She's not a bland person or anything, she's beautiful, intelligent, great taste in food, and she's always cooking for me or willing to try new things at the restaurants I take her to when she lets me pay. She also wants to travel but won't let me take her anywhere she can't afford by herself.
Sometimes I feel like she's too proud. Like if she lets me buy her things or take her on trips she will somehow be less? I asked her and she just keeps repeating like a broken record that she wants to earn things herself and be practical. But in my eyes she HAS earned it. She just doesn't like the finer things in life and I'm absolutely befuddled by it. Who wouldn't want nice clothes, shoes, a car, trips etc... If it was freely given? Am I missing something? I really thought all women wanted these things, and she doesn't.
Edit: I didn't mean women specifically, I mean people in general. Yes in this case we're talking about my girlfriend but my point really stands with all people men included. Why wouldn't people want nice things? If you can afford the best of the best, why on earth would anyone want something that's crap? I understand not everyone can afford such things, but if you CAN, then why would you settle for less?
submitted by Diligent_Theory_1536 to amiwrong [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:40 ChapterOk3672 AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding after she demanded i change my appearance???

I (22f) am going to my sisters in laws wedding (26f), so here is the situation. My sister-in-law is getting married in 2 months (august 16th), she has been in full and extra bridezilla mode. For as long as I have known her, she has been a bit of a control freak and wanting everything perfect, but this wedding brought out the worst of the worst of this woman.
In December 2022, bride + family started planning the wedding. My sister-in-law asked me to be the made of honer there is a total of 5 bridesmaids. (k 28, M 27, L 26, A, 26. N 26)
For context, her, and my brother (27M) have been together since the end of high school and dated all the way through college. So, she has been in my life for a long time and have been there for me when I needed it. With me being her maid of honour, i’ve been trying to do my best managing college and to help with all the preparations. I have rearranged my schedule for dress fittings, cake tasting, and even spending the whole weekend making center pieces for the reception and the ceremony. Because the ones she ordered “weren’t good enough and up to her standards”. I have been patient with her demanding orders and changes that she wanted. But she just crossed a new line.
Last week, I got a phone call from my sister-in-law asking to meet for coffee on the Monday at noon, at first, I thought it was another wedding demand, but hell to the no. When I got there, I see her and her mom at the table. She told me her and her mother have some issues and are worried about how I would look in the wedding photos as well at the wedding.
For some context. i’m a bit gothic and have always had my own unique style and look. I have vibrant ashy hair with bright pink underneath, a few visible tattoos, and my nose and all my ears done. This is just who I am, and I did not expect I would have to change for someone or anything (and I will not) All my family support me and always have my back or so I thought.
My sister-in-law and her mother, both went on to say that she wanted me to “dye my hair natural” cover up my tattoos which are all sentimental to me and have meaning and value and for me to remove my piercings. To say I was stunned and jaw dropping embarrassed. She then went to say that she did not want the bridesmaids and not the maid of honour to look “distracting”, I turned around and said that i’m not changing how I look because it’s who I am and how I express myself and wouldn’t change anything for anyone because they don’t like something on me. Her mother then went to say she wants nothing but the best for her only daughter and wanting it to be “perfect” and that if I did not change my appearance, I would not be able to go to the wedding. I was livid is an understatement. I said I was leaving, and I got up and left and did not pay for my bill, once I got to my car, I started bawling my eyes out and went to straight to my brothers to confront him about the situation. I explained to my brother that I was upset and uncomfortable and embarrassed about what his fiancée and his future mother-in-law had to say to me. He said that this there special day and to suck it up and move on, from then I seen red I went absolutely insane saying how are you going to let your soon to be wife treat me this way ( for context me and my brother have always been close growing up and even into adulthood ) I just felt I wasn’t valued enough after I expressed my feelings.
I went home to cool down and didn’t speak to my brother, his partner and her mother. I got over a handful of phone calls and texts all saying I was selfish and being petty ( I am pretty and petty)
I then phoned them asking them if we could all meet up and talk about the situation and they all agreed, we all all talked and I explained how I felt saying that I wasn’t comfortable changing how I looked as it took me years to get how I want to look as growing up I suffered with bulling and have severe anxiety about how I look, and changing my appearance for one day and that I thought it was unreasonable and unfair for her and her mother to change how I look. She then got upset and started screaming and causing a scene saying I was being selfish and unreasonable and not taking her feelings into consideration because it is her special day and everyone should bow to her knees, the mother then said I do not know the stress of planning a wedding and wanting everything to go perfect, I replied with I may not but I am not changing my appearance because I like the way I look. We all got into a massive argument and I left feeling more hurt and angry then what I went.
I then texted my brother and his fiancé saying that I am no longer attending the wedding and do not want anything to do with the wedding and I will be taking back all the things I put all my hard work into.
Before I texted this I turned to my family and friends and my partner at the time and bridesmaid’s. but they just say it’s her special day and I should do what I want and bend over backwards to make her happy. My parents and partner think my sister-in-law is being unreasonable, but my friends and the braid maids are spilt and still 50/50 on the situation. Some say she is being unreasonable, and I should suck it up and get on with it for one day, while others agree that she overstepped the threshold I do love my sister-in-law, but she overstepped the boundaries and was asking way too much, I have so much guilt for not being there for my brother as me and him are so close I just feel like we have drifted apart, and I feel awful.
So AITA for not attending my sister in laws wedding if she insists, I change my appearance?
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2024.06.04 20:38 clootch1 New Orders Begin with Company Completion of Wholesale, Affiliate, Retail Website

Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. (OTC: RWGI), a leading cannabis manufacturer and distributor, is thrilled to announce the successful launch of its new product line, Nutrient CBD. The line includes five innovative SKUs: 2 CBD Oil Tinctures, 1 CBD Roll-On, and 2 CBD Creams designed to meet the diverse needs of consumers seeking natural and effective wellness solutions.
Chris Swartz, CEO of Rodedawg, commented: "In the United States, cannabidiol products generated sales of roughly 5.3 billion U.S. dollars in 2021. By 2026, CBD product sales are predicted to reach nearly 16 billion U.S. dollars in the United States. Nutrient CBD is an entirely new product line that further expands our Wellness Division growth and complements our Elixicure Topical Pain Relief products toward driving revenue and increasing shareholder value. Our commitment to quality and innovation is reflected in these products, and we are confident they will resonate well with our customers."
The company utilizes proprietary formulas and manufactures these products in its own production facilities, ensuring the highest quality and consistency.
Nutrient CBD Product Line Overview:
CBD Oil Tincture: Our CBD Oil Tincture captures the essence of nature’s perfection in a bottle. This 100% American-sourced, USP grade CBD oil is combined with Cold-Pressed Organic Extra Virgin Flax Seed Oil, providing essential omega-3s along with vital CBD cannabinoids. The tincture offers numerous benefits:
CBD Roll-On: The Nutrient CBD Roll-On applicator delivers our specially formulated pain relief cream, which combines organic healing ingredients such as Willow Bark, Camphor, Shea Butter, Aloe, Menthol, and CBD. This product is perfect for relieving:
CBD Pain Cream: The CBD Pain Relief Pump XL with 8000mg of CBD provides potent pain relief for a variety of conditions. This product is ideal for those seeking a powerful and natural alternative to traditional pain relief methods.
About Rodedawg International Industries, Inc.
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. (OTC: RWGI) is focused on providing management services, acquisitions and restructuring resources throughout the regulated California cannabis market. We are a trusted partner and asset to licensed cultivation, distributors, manufacturers, and retail dispensaries.
Please note the company's Twitter address is ~https://twitter.com/RWGImerger~ for regular updates.
About Nutrient CBD
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. has launched Nutrient CBD, featuring five new products: CBD Oil Tincture, CBD Roll-On, and CBD Pain Cream. The CBD Oil Tincture combines 100% American-sourced, USP grade CBD with Cold-Pressed Organic Extra Virgin Flax Seed Oil, offering omega-3s and essential CBD cannabinoids. The CBD Roll-On delivers pain relief with organic ingredients like Willow Bark and Menthol, ideal for joint pain and muscle soreness. The CBD Pain Cream, with 8000mg CBD, provides potent relief for various conditions. All products are plant-based, organic, THC-free, vegan, non-GMO, and paraben-free, ensuring quality and satisfaction.
Nutrient CBD website: www.NutrientCBD.com
About Budding Horizon, LLC
Budding Horizon, LLC is a California Limited Liability Company with offices in Orange County, California. The company is focused to providing management services for the licensed cannabis industry and seeks to leverage its expertise in the real estate acquisitions to acquire and develop a portfolio of assets.
The company website is ~https://buddinghorizon.com/~
About Brother Buds™
Brother Buds is a cannabis delivery service based in Costa Mesa, California. During the month of July 2023, the Rodedawg will operate Brother Buds under a non-storefront cannabis delivery license. The cannabis delivery service will focus on Los Angeles County, Orange County, and norther San Diego County in the demographic area of 23.86 million in 2019. The company is focused to providing management services for the licensed cannabis industry and seeks to leverage its expertise in the real estate acquisitions to acquire and develop a portfolio of assets.
The company website is: ~https://BrotherBuds.com~
Make sure to follow us at: https://twitter.com/BrotherBudsOC
About Elixicure
Elixicure is a leading provider of manufacturing and capsule encapsulation services. We offer a wide range of services to meet the diverse needs of our clients, including capsule encapsulation, formulation, manufacturing, labeling and bottle filling. Our state-of-the-art facilities and experienced team of professionals allow us to deliver high-quality products and exceptional customer service. Whether you are looking for small-scale or large-scale production, we have the expertise and capabilities to meet your needs. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your manufacturing and encapsulation needs.
The company website is: https://elixicure.com/
Make sure to follow us at: https://twitter.com/Elixicure
Contact Information:
Rodedawg International Industries, Inc. 1-800-793-0355 ir@buddinghorizon.com
Safe Harbor Statement: In addition to historical information, this press release may contain statements that constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Securities Act of 1933 and the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, as amended by the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Forward-looking statements contained in this press release include the intent, belief, or expectations of the Company and members of its management team with respect to the Company's future business operations and the assumptions upon which such statements are based. Prospective investors are cautioned that any such forward-looking statements are not guarantees of future performance, and involve risks and uncertainties, and that actual results may differ materially from those contemplated by such forward-looking statements. Factors that could cause these differences include, but are not limited to, failure to complete anticipated sales under negotiations, lack of revenue growth, client discontinuances, failure to realize improvements in performance, efficiency and profitability, and adverse developments with respect to litigation or increased litigation costs, the operation or performance of the Company's business units or the market price of its common stock. Additional factors that would cause actual results to differ materially from those contemplated within this press release can also be found on the Company's website. The Company disclaims any responsibility to update any forward-looking statements.
SOURCE: Rodedawg International Industries, Inc.
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2024.06.04 20:32 mansplanar 40 Date Ideas in New York City That Aren't Dinner or Drinks

Comedy Cellar is a great date spot.
Just avoid sitting in the front row if you don’t want to be the target of jokes.
Row boats, roller skating, cooking class, pottery class, painting class, mani/pedis, art gallery, concert, volunteer somewhere.
Board game cafes! You could start with The Uncommons.
Look up drink and draw (on Wednesdays) in Williamsburg. Easy enough to get to, and then you can go to Barcade right afterwards.
New York City has inspired some of the most famous romantic comedies of all time, from When Harry Met Sally to Serendipity. So why is it that all too often, we fall back on the less-than-novel dinner and drinks date? Sure, we New Yorkers have some of the best culinary experiences at our fingertips, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't shake up our date-night plans every now and then. There are plenty of unique date ideas in New York City that are totally romantic and won't cost half your rent. In addition to being easy on the wallet, they just might make you fall in love with the city all over again, too.
From comedy shows and karaoke to scenic strolls and gallery hopping, these are the best date ideas in New York City.
44 Great Date Ideas to Keep Your Marriage Fresh
01
Get Reacquainted With Central Park
More than 8.6 million people live in New York City, but it doesn't feel that way at this four-season and free-to-enter oasis in the middle of Manhattan. Measuring in at 840 acres, there's plenty of room to go around here, whether your idea of the perfect date is a picnic lunch on the Great Lawn, a paddle across Central Park Lake in a rowboat, or a visit to the Central Park Zoo.
02
Explore the Met or MoMA
For residents of New York state, admission at The Met is pay-as-you-wish, so you and your date can browse the storied museum's 5,000 years' worth of artwork and still have some cash left over to grab a quick bite at one of the museum's on-site eateries. MoMA, on the other hand, waives entry fees between 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. on the first Friday of every month, so plan your outing accordingly.
03
Take a Sunset Stroll Across the Brooklyn Bridge
Whether you start at the Brooklyn or Manhattan side of the stone-and-steel bridge, you'll encounter an intoxicating panorama that really outdoes itself come nightfall. Plan a stroll around sunset to watch as the skyline is enveloped in golds and ambers before transforming into a glittering display of lights as the sun slips behind Manhattan.
Brooklyn Bridge Park hosts a weekly movie series during the summer to cap off your bridge-crossing with a free flick.
04
Explore the Hudson by Kayak
With a mission of "promoting public access to the water for all," Downtown Boathouse offers free kayaking between the months of May and October. Push off from the organization's locations on Pier 26 or Governor's Island for a 20-minute paddle through NYC waterways.
05
Lace Up Your Roller Skates
Relive a childhood pastime with a visit to Brooklyn Bridge Park's Pier 2 Roller Rink. In the shadows of the Brooklyn Bridge, the outdoor facility hosts regular public skate sessions that are either free or under $10, plus the cost of skate rentals. (Aim to show up on a Friday evening for DJ-led sessions.)
06
Hit the Ice
When temperatures drop, swap your wheels for a blade and hit the ice-skating rink at Central Park, The Rink at Bank of America Winter Village at Bryant Park, or, for a date experience that's quintessentially NYC, Rockefeller Center. You can glide under the festive canopy of twinkling city lights while holding hands to keep warm for a romantic night to remember. Finish the evening by snuggling up with a cozy cup of hot cocoa.
07
Book a Private Karaoke Room
Most New Yorkers love to karaoke, but when was the last time you actually went? Book a room at Sing Sing Karaoke in the East Village and let loose with your partner.
08
Browse the Stalls at a Food Market, Festival, or Flea Market
If you're not opposed to a daytime date, meet your S.O. at the Brooklyn Flea, Grand Bazaar NYC, or Chelsea Flea Market. Not only are these spots open year-round, but their pay-as-you-go pay structure also allows you to spend as much (or as little) as you want. Similarly, food halls and markets (think Smorgasbord or Essex Market) and city-sponsored festivals follow a no-purchase-necessary format. Bookmark the NYC Parks events calendar to stay informed about upcoming low-cost and free events.
09
Beat Each Other's High Scores at an Arcade
Give your date a glimpse of your competitive side by challenging him or her to a round of Skee-Ball, ping pong, pool, pinball, or an old-school video game. Spots like Full Circle Bar and Cellar Dog promise all of the above, plus brewskies and mixed drinks for the 21-and-up set.
10
Take a Spin on a Carousel
Channel your inner child with a ride on one of NYC's famous carousels, like the Central Park Carousel ($3.25/ride), The Battery's SeaGlass Carousel ($6/ride), or Hudson River Park’s Pier 62 Carousel ($3.50/ride). But if you have to choose just one, go with Jane's Carousel ($2/ride). Dating back to 1922, this historic, 48-horse carousel merges nostalgia with stunning views of the Manhattan skyline and the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges.
11
Travel Back in Time at The Cloisters
Live out your romantic medieval fantasies with a trip through The Met Cloisters. Inspired by European churches, castles, and monasteries, these lush gardens and majestic architecture are home to The Met's extensive medieval art exhibits.
12
Catch a Budget Flick
New York has several independent movie theaters to choose from. Try catching a flick at Syndicated. This Brooklyn venue offers food, drinks, and movies—all under one roof. Grab a seat in the cozy theater-meets-restaurant to watch a second-run flick for just $9, then order from a menu of drinks and handheld eats to enjoy while you watch.
Syndicated also has a bar area that screens two movies via a duo of projectors, allowing you to match your movie-watching to the duration of your drink.
13
Ride the Staten Island Ferry
Who says the Staten Island Ferry is just for tourists and school field trips? Add it to your date-night itinerary and take advantage of a free (and dare we say romantic) cruise between Whitehall in lower Manhattan and St. George on Staten Island (or vice versa). Spend the 25-minute ride marveling at the city skyline and snapping selfies with the Statue of Liberty in the distance.
14
Skydive Indoors
Enjoy the thrill of skydiving without the weather restrictions or, let's be honest, sheer terror of jumping out of a moving aircraft. Located in Westchester, iFly is worth the short trek to experience the sensation of flying in the safe and controlled environment of state-of-the-art wind tunnels.
15
Stroll Across the High Line
A stunning example of adaptive reuse, this defunct elevated rail line-turned-linear greenway hosts manicured gardens, soothing water features, scenic overlooks, and conversation-starting art installations along its 1.45-mile stretch—and it's free for all to enjoy. We recommend popping by Chelsea Market first for a grab-and-go bite to enjoy on the High Line's many benches and seating areas.
16
Take a Walk in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden
A fantastic (and quiet) alternative to the classic weeknight drink, a walk through the Brooklyn Botanical Garden will give you a chance to chat with your date—without having to compete with the noise of a bar. Admission is reasonably priced at $18, but you can score free entry if you show up before noon on an in-season Friday (or any weekday during the winter).
17
Try a Cocktail-Making Class at Liquor Lab
If you need some liquid courage to help you soldier through those awkward gaps in the conversation, take a cocktail-making class at Liquor Lab, which leads imbibing students in the creation of craft cocktails, from margaritas to iconic NYC drinks.
18
Spin Vinyl at Tokyo Record Bar
Grab a drink and a bite to eat at Tokyo Record Bar, an izakaya and vinyl bar where you help make the playlist for the night—so you'll get to know (read: judge) your date's musical taste.
19
See a Concert at Carnegie Hall
Dinner and drinks are nice when you're on your second or third date, but a concert at Carnegie Hall is unexpected and something you frankly probably never do as a New Yorker. It's a surefire way to impress your date.
20
Explore a New Neighborhood
Trying something new is one of the best ways to form a deeper connection with someone, so pick a neighborhood you've never been to, and go for an adventure. May we suggest Red Hook?
21
Try Your Hand at Axe Throwing
Need to let off some steam and plan a memorable date night? Axe throwing is probably an experience neither of you has had a good go at. LiveAxe and Kick Axe Brooklyn both offer indoor throwing possibilities that you won't forget. Who knows? You might even find your calling.
22
Get Your Game on at Royal Palms
Skip the local sports bar's pool table and try playing shuffleboard instead. Royal Palms in Brooklyn is a guaranteed good time—and it's way more fun than the bowling alleys at Chelsea Piers.
23
Strike Out at the Brooklyn Bowl
If some old-school bowling is your thing, we get it. There's nothing quite as satisfying as the sound of pins falling down and the sweet taste of victory that goes with it. Get in the competitive spirit and take your date to Brooklyn Bowl for some live tunes, local brews, and delectable eats.
24
See a Comedy Show
Sure, comedy shows are a bit of an NYC cliché, but they're also really fun. And while it can be awkward on a first date to get grilled by the comedian on stage at the Comedy Cellar, your visit is sure to be a memory in the making.
25
Try a New Fitness Class
A date can be a great excuse to experiment with a new and novel exercise. Try Flatiron's Brrrn, where 50-minute fitness classes are held within a studio that's been chilled to a cool 50°F. You can even try the infrared sauna together afterward. Take advantage of first-time student discounts to save some money.
26
Take a Cooking Class at Eataly
Cooking together is a great way to deepen a connection with someone new, but in tiny NYC apartments, it can be quite challenging. Why not take a cooking class instead? Eataly offers a great selection, from pasta-making to pizza workshops.
27
Go Glamping on Governors Island
Collective Retreats has established itself in NYC with escapism experiences that make you feel like you're anywhere else. Take a ferry to Governors Island, and spend an evening glamping under the stars overlooking the Manhattan skyline for the dreamiest of date nights.
28
Take a Pottery Class in Brooklyn
If you've fallen into a routine of going to the same restaurants or watching the same TV series each Monday night, switch it up with a pottery-making class at Choplet in Brooklyn. You'll channel your inner Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze.
29
Sculpt Blindfolded
Or, up the ante on that Ghost-style date night by amplifying the sensory experience. Unarthodox's Sculpture Without Sight offers a unique art experience that reconnects you with your senses—specifically touch—by closing your eyes. The blindfold frees you from the visual plane and allows your hands to do all the talking.
30
Tour the Galleries in Chelsea
Chelsea is filled with incredible art galleries, but be honest: When was the last time you actually visited them? Walk around the various gallery spaces with your S.O. and pick imaginary art for your future home together.
31
Treat Yourselves at Ancient Aire Baths
If you're feeling a little exhausted from a long day at work or have young children at home, treat yourselves to a day at Ancient Aires Baths, where you get to just relax in a romantic candlelit environment.
32
Walk Through Halls of Gems
Want to commemorate finding your very own diamond in the rough? The Allison and Roberto Mignone Halls of Gems and Minerals at the American Museum of Natural History boasts over 5,000 sparkly specimens for quite the magical moment. (We're talking a legendary 563-carat sapphire, folks!)
33
See a Burlesque Show
Give the Broadway shows a rest for a far more provocative production. Whether it's dinner theater at Duane Park or the transportive atmosphere of Nurse Bettie, this date-night activity is sure to set the mood.
34
Visit the Museum of Sex
Speaking of setting the mood, an educational tour of the Museum of Sex should do it for the sapiosexuals among us. From a historic catalog of visual erotica to more hands-on exhibits, this museum admission ($36) will certainly give you the most bang for your buck.
35
Gaze at the Stars at Hayden Planetarium
Whether your love was forged in the stars or the two of you are die-hard cosmo-junkies, a space date is difficult to pass up. The American Museum of Natural History's Hayden Planetarium offers a riveting tour of the final frontier.
36
Scale a Building
When you live in a city that boasts some of the highest buildings in the world, what else is there to do but scale them? City Climb offers an exhilarating bird's-eye-view over 1,200 feet above the ground from the Edge's apex.
37
Enjoy a Scenic Cruise
Or, take in the sights without the heart-pumping adrenaline rush by hosting your date night on the water. Reserve a table aboard one of the city's many floating restaurants for a skyline view that's hard to top.
38
Peruse the Books at The Morgan Library & Museum
From ultra-rare first editions to manuscripts, drawings, and sheet music from some of history's most famous and talented artists, The Morgan Library & Museum has it all. Once the personal collection of J. Pierpont Morgan, the dramatic edifice houses plenty of architectural and literary delights to get lost in.
39
Start a Book Club for Two
If all those books whet your literary appetite, why not start your very own book club for just the two of you? Make a day out of visiting some of the city's most charming book stores to stock up on future reads. Some of our favorites include The Strand Bookstore in the East Village and Sisters Uptown Bookstore in Harlem.
40
Channel Your Inner Spy
If you spent your formative years living a double life as an imaginary spy, boy do we have a date night for you. SPYSCAPE may be a high-tech counterintelligence museum, but it also serves as a training (play)ground to really put those carefully cultivated skills to the test. We're talking laser beam hallways and lie detector tests aplenty!
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2024.06.04 20:26 Sweet-Count2557 Ess-a-Bagel Restaurant in New York City,NY,United States

Ess-a-Bagel Restaurant in New York City,NY,United States
Ess-a-Bagel Restaurant in New York City,NY,United States
Discover the Newest Ess-a-Bagel Location in New York City, NY: 108 West 32nd Street!
Price Level: $
You asked. We listened. Welcome to Ess-a-Bagel's newest location. Come visit us at 108 West 32nd Street. Down the block from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden. We look forward to seeing you there.
Cuisines of Ess-a-Bagel in New York City,NY,United States
When it comes to satisfying our taste buds with delicious American and Fast Food cuisines, Ess-a-Bagel Restaurant is the place to be. This iconic eatery offers a mouthwatering selection of classic American dishes and fast food favorites that are sure to leave you craving for more. From juicy burgers and crispy fries to delectable hot dogs and cheesy pizzas, Ess-a-Bagel Restaurant has it all. Whether you're in the mood for a quick bite or a hearty meal, this restaurant is guaranteed to deliver a satisfying dining experience that will leave you coming back for more.
Features of Ess-a-Bagel in New York City,NY,United States
Takeout Accepts Credit Cards Delivery Wheelchair Accessible
Menu of Ess-a-Bagel in New York City,NY,United States
Location of Ess-a-Bagel in New York City,NY,United States
Contact of Ess-a-Bagel in New York City,NY,United States
+1 917-781-4040
108 W 32nd St Between 6th & 7th Avenue, New York City, NY 10001-0074
http://www.ess-a-bagel32.com/
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2024.06.04 20:25 BrokenDeity I was Ben Shapiro's wedding DJ

"A job is a job" they say. But I took one in 2008 that blew the logic behind that saying right out of the water. I was hired by Ben Shapiro to be the DJ at his upcoming wedding. I knew he was pretty well off so I expected pretty good pay. Over the phone I asked him what music he was looking for, what his wedding march would be, what he wanted played at the reception afterwards. And he told me to travel light because he had the music selection taken care of. Just bring the speakers and the stereo equipment. That's all.
"Easy enough" I thought to myself. I love it when it only takes me 5 to 10 minutes to load up and just as much time to set up. I arrived at the wedding venue and upon entering I see something that should have set off alarm bells. But I needed that money.
Next to the main archway were two morbidly obese men dressed in nothing but red satin Speedos and juggalo face paint. Both of them are wielding what I can only describe as 24 inch long double dongs. Every time a guest would enter, they would frantically beat each other with the transparent green phallic clubs. Once the guests found their seats, the two men would sit down and make eyes at each other only to repeat the process.
"Hey, I see you made it!" Said a voice from across the room. There stood Mr. Shapiro dressed in a salmon colored tuxedo with a neon green button-up shirt and a cobalt blue business suit tie with a picture of what I can only describe as Jessica rabbit giving birth to a pint of Ben & Jerry's chunky monkey ice cream on Violent J's tummy tum. He smiled at me and I could feel a chill run up my spine.
"I see you brought the equipment! Did you leave your music at home?" He asked expectantly.
I struggled to find the words but eventually speak up: "Y-yes Sir. Every last CD booklet is still sitting in my supply closet. It's just whatever you've got."
He smiles and starts fishing around in his pocket. Pulls out a few paper clips, some old chewing gum, a lambskin condom, and finally he hands me a thumb drive with a picture of Sally acorn blowing Goofy laser etched into it.
"Just pop that in your laptop and when I give you the thumbs up hit play. Don't stop until everything is done. If we go over time, keep playing it. Feel me?"
I just nodded and prepped the equipment.
As the guests started filing in I hear who I guess was the pastor tell the guests to sit down because the ceremony is about to begin. I start looking around the room only to find Mr. Shapiro standing in a doorway adjacent to another room. I figure it's him and his groomsmen. He gives me the thumbs up and I do as he instructed. Press play.
Mr. Shapiro and his groomsmen come into the room and I finally pull my attention away from my equipment and look in that direction. The "priest" was actually a guy in a Chuck E cheese costume wearing a priest collar and a strap-on dildo. He looked happy to see everybody. The archway was made entirely out of chewed gum and barbed wire. Other than Ben, his groomsen were all dressed in neon colored faygo t-shirts and frilly Lolita skirts. For one reason or another his best man was holding what I can only guess was a box of smoked salmon in each hand. Ben pointed in my direction and instructed me to turn up the music.
To call it music would be generous. It was actually what I can only describe as the sound of somebody slowly stirring macaroni and cheese and occasionally coughing. I stared at my speakers in horror and then suddenly everybody stood up in unison. The bride was on her way down the aisle while this abomination blared through my speakers. But, that only held my attention for a second. I finally saw the bride. She was wearing a dress made entirely out of bubble wrap. Through the translucent dress I could see she was also wearing a matching set of fruit Roll-Up edible underwear and Daisy duck crocs.
The awkward ceremony proceeded as any other would have, an exchange of vows, putting on the rings, you may kiss the bride.. yada yada.
After he got done jamming his tongue down this woman's throat he mouths something to her. Years of doing this without protective ear equipment has admittedly damaged my hearing. So I've gotten good at reading lips. "Oh yeah baby, tonight you're going to give me that sandpaper dry ride."
I could only hope nobody else heard what he had to say. But guessing by the looks on a few of the guests faces, they were just as good at reading lips as I was. He then turned his attention back to me. "TRACK 3" he mouthed at me. "Okay." I thought to myself. I mean, this couldn't get any weirder, could it?
I was so so very wrong. And all too familiar robotic voice filled the room and suddenly I realize the actual song playing is "Slim Anus" by ICP. The guests looked horrified, and I decided to break protocol and skip to the next track only to find.. it was the same song.. 347 times over.
About the 30th time the song repeated, I start looking at the guests. Their eyes are glazing over, some of them are crying, children are beating the wedding cake which appeared to be made at entirely out of pureed chicken. People are absolutely losing their shit while Ben stares at them with a smile that says "I'm an absolute fucking gremlin."
I did my best to ignore the song but at the 346th repeat I started snapping myself. I look at the guests and I think to myself "Fuck it. I'll join them." As they screech like rabid gibbons and punch empty air. Some of them were throwing their own feces. At this point, they've absolutely devolved. What I didn't know was that the 347th repeat was coming to an end.
The song stopped and we thought we were free for a moment. I made my way back to my equipment only to realize the next song was starting "tiptoe to my window" as sung by Minnie mouse. I look at my screen, 839 times. Over and over and over again.
I look at this sick bastard and I see that he's opening up wedding presents while the guests aren't looking, somebody gifted him a bowling pin, he promptly dropped his drawers and begins to sit on this thing ever so slowly. I watching horror is it disappears.
Tiptoe to my window is blaring it deafening levels through my speakers and this man.. or at least shapeshifting creature passing itself off as one.. does a little dance to the front of the room in front of all the guests.
He smiles at them and I can see he's drooling a little bit. His eyes are watery. He's biting his lower lip. Getting absolute enjoyment out of this. He drops his drawers once again and proceeds to fart the bowling pin and two live hamsters through a stained glass window.
As he's giving everybody the full goatse, his prolapse gets aimed in my direction, he proceeds to fart a signed check and an 8 lb bag of Chuck E cheese tokens in my direction. They land perfectly on my table.
It's the first time I've ever done a job for free.
I packed up my equipment and left after that and I never looked back, unless you count those times when I wake up screaming at night. Thank you PTSD and night terrors.
TL:DR I'm a DJ that can confirm Ben Shapiro is into some weird shit.
submitted by BrokenDeity to copypasta [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:25 xiaolii [H] Lots of Games [W] Trade for Games or Paypal (EU)

Last Updated List: 04/06/2024
 
I'm primarily looking to trade for games from my wishlist, otherwise I am also open to selling them. I am not interested in games I already have and all games I'm getting are for me and activated on my own account. Other than that feel free to offer your list of Steam games and something I may not have and fulfills my criteria I could/would be willing to trade for it/them.
If you're either trading or buying please state the game(s) you are interested in and your offer (game(s)/list/price).
 
Info:
 
I kindly ask of you is to be reasonable when making offers to make it a fair trade for both of us.
Let's have a good exchange/trade!
 
List of games:
submitted by xiaolii to GameTrade [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:25 xiaolii [H] Lots of Games [W] Trade for Games or Paypal (EU)

Last Updated List: 04/06/2024
 
I'm primarily looking to trade for games from my wishlist, otherwise I am also open to selling them. I am not interested in games I already have and all games I'm getting are for me and activated on my own account. Other than that feel free to offer your list of Steam games and something I may not have and fulfills my criteria I could/would be willing to trade for it/them.
If you're either trading or buying please state the game(s) you are interested in and your offer (game(s)/list/price).
 
Info:
 
I kindly ask of you is to be reasonable when making offers to make it a fair trade for both of us.
Let's have a good exchange/trade!
 
List of games:
submitted by xiaolii to indiegameswap [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:21 taiyuan41 Henan part 1

It felt frustrating in Chongqing. I was rather stuck in Hechuan. I got accustomed to lajiao (spice) there. I was a Midwesterner at the age of 22. I was raised in Illinois. I became a manic—a Ferris wheel on fire—I was hiding under a bed in a hotel. Bold like napalm. Sometimes I can never stop. Even when I was 18 in a ward arguing with staff. Always want to fight things. That’s why I refused the meds and went on a plane from America to China. I was going to be an English teacher. And like a light switch, the change and SSRIs turned me into a mess. It would be my first time experiencing psychosis. My biggest issue. I never imagined I would be stuck illegally in a country suffering a psychotic episode in my early twenties.
Transplanted as pollen. I was left with a backpack and a cellphone. With a downloaded app called WeChat. I had arrogantly quit a university job in a fit. Spent the past months full of energy and not sleeping and neglecting myself, including not eating, to work on a novel. Not considering myself normally religious, I had obsessed over occult ideas during that time. Spending nights reading Aleister Crowley—haven taken a rusty pocket knife to carve a pentagram on my chest for spiritual protection.
I did not have funds to fly home. My visa was connected to my previous job, which meant I had now made it void. I was an illegal resident now in China.
I used a nifty app called WeChat as a messaging app, it allows users to find people near them that are also looking for others. It was like a virtual pond. All kinds of people, including sex workers trying to make things happen.
It could with luck be used to find people looking for people in terms of other kinds of work. It was helpful on many occasions for finding gigs working at English training schools and also finding work as a private tutor for people.
WeChat also works as a digital wallet.
Mania makes me irritable. Enough to tell a boss to fuck off. Thoughts ricochet within me. Bumper cars collide.
Being stuck and angry sucks. I scrolled and scrolled on a Huawei phone.
Absolutely pissed off at this world.
Pissed at the times police wanted to take me away for being a mess.
Sometimes women get pissed. Scrolling through their phones. Angry at their cheating husbands. It really is not that hard to have flair—be a damn white oddity. Like moths to a porchlight. Particles of sand through hands. This is when I first started the habit of it…
I rather go by a rather empty name of Taishen… with further explanation needed but now is not convenient. But I assure it is interesting enough and has some importance.
Habits are various in nature in how they attach to and eat at marrow—like atom bombs flashing as rays evaporating DNA—sets in a way less than human as putting myself in the cage of bad things taken up—my time as a former heroin addict is left as stretch marks on me in various ways. The same goes for the first time I found myself making arrangements with middle aged married women while desperation of waves whiplashed me like sandpaper hands coming at me to leave me in a tiring state of abrasion.
I had spent a night snuck away into a hotel. Found someone on a business trip. Instead of registering I waited to sneak along into the hotel elevator amongst a group of others attending the hotel, as I had no card. I headed to a designated room number. Originally I was sitting in a park. Playing on WeChat and found someone in their mid-thirties. Pictures were exchanged and I said no. She brought up paying for the hotel if I arrived. I agreed and went along.
When I met I washed up after her and we used our phones to awkwardly translate what we would do.
Room service knocked. I found myself hidden under a bed as I was not registered to be there.
It seems unusual that it was around this time I had started working on a story of my life as a heroin addict when I got caught up in my worse manic episode ever experienced during my age of 22. Finished half that story before never going back to it after my manic episode had ended. Now I am here writing about it and wondering if the same can happen again in the process of this work.
It feels extremely cliché I would write a novel about struggles with heroin addiction. It has been done many times. It’s just lame of me.
I feel like my thoughts are bit off. I left the hotel the next morning with the little money I did have on a debit card. Turns out the woman was from Taiyuan. It is a city in the northern part of China in the province of Shanxi—coal country with the worst air pollution in China. She has a colleague in Taiyuan that takes courses at an English training center. I was able to contact this place in the morning via a shared contact on WeChat given to me by the stranger I met that night.
Before I knew it I was sending my information and documents in my backpack at an internet café in a fax—with the intent that the woman agreed to share my information to the training center as she shared my contact to its hiring manager. It would land me a job that day that would help me out of my situation. Things turned not quite out as I expected though. I was shifted like a ball to somebody else to contact for a training center geared to teaching children.
I took what I had and ran off to a train station after taking the public transit. Unfortunately I was shit for money and could not afford a high speed rail pass. The slow train would take thirty-two hours to get to my destination. I would have taken a room with a bed but all I could afford was a hard seat for the travel.
Things were getting better for me in the circumstance considering I had found someone willing to take me for work despite my visa situation.
The thirty-two hour train ride was horrendous in some ways, but mostly I was in excitement despite the circumstances. I’m always giddy when disappointed. I moved up and down the aisle of the train. I could not speak mandarin, but it did not stop me from trying to interact with everyone. I talked many ears off during the train ride. I went up and down the aisle trying to interact as a moth to porchlights—I could not stop even if I had wanted to. I found great enjoyment the times I did get to sit across a table from somebody my age heading to Taiyuan from Chongqing. They were a university student returning to their hometown. Another passenger who sat beside me was an elderly man with hard boiled eggs, he was eating one after another one. I highly enjoyed each and every conversation that I had. It was like my head was a lightbulb wanting June bugs to bang against it with the intensity of Roman candles shot at my mouth of nicotine tinged teeth.
“If you find someone in Shanxi it is practice to pay the family money before you can get married. You would also have to already own a home and a car,” told my new friend across in their seat from me—a university passenger friend named David.
“Not necessarily what I was looking for. When is the next stop for snacks?” When the train stops I am able to get out and to have a walk onto the platform to buy various goods from the vendors to take back with me to eat along the ride to Taiyuan.
I had all my important documents tucked in my bag. This included my health clearance and obviously I made no mention of my mental health diagnosis or history to the doctor who had to evaluate me. My diploma and TEFL certificate were tucked away securely. A TEFL is a certificate that stands for Teaching English as a Foreign Language, it qualifies me to teach English as a second language abroad—it had only took a few months of taking a course online that I had paid for to obtain.
It is easy to be happy when you can trick yourself as your own con artist. Mania can make you deceive yourself. One can be doused in napalm and still not fully recognize what is actually going on. Same goes the flicking of psychosis. Even when I have nothing I find myself in my radiating irritation the most qualified of things—the velocity of my rhythm sets me out of an orbit.
The pressure cooker keeps me moving like a propeller at times. I finally arrived at Taiyuan. I arrived at the station to be greeted by Ryan my manager and his assistant Jennifer. We had our hello and introduction and they helped me get to a taxi that would bring me to my new apartment. I finally had a residence again. Apparently they were desperate for a teacher. The last teacher was from New Mexico and apparently they pulled a midnight run—that is when a teacher in the middle of the night disappears onto a plane back home without any notification of it.
The apartment was okay. On the fourth floor with no elevator, so it was a bit of a climb up a dark stairwell not lit correctly.
My job was a training center that had a location near Yingze Park in the center of the city. I was to be paid in cash via envelopes. I would assist in teaching kindergarten all the way up to high school aged students there in private lessons paid by their parents. I would also be assigned by my company to various primary schools in the city. I would take public buses to various schools paid by the company I worked for to give English lessons as I bounced around to various classrooms and schools in the city. Often I would receive a phone call to avoid going to work that day if my boss got inside input that officials would be doing raids to check foreigners’ visas that day.
A taxi ride would always be a thrill. Caused me nerves at first, but I came to love the flying in dangerous ways along a busy road. I remember a driver beeping their horn away as they drove onto the sidewalk to pass people. They treated the pedestrians as if they were in the wrong. I came flying in front of a primary school at its front gates. I was going to start teaching a first grade classroom and a kindergarten classroom. The way schools are set up is with a wall around the entirety of the exterior of the school. There is a gate at the front where one or two security will be waiting to let people in and out of the complex of the school.
I walked in front of the gate to greet the security. It was my first time with an assignment at this school. The guard said they had never seen me before and wouldn’t let me in. Not a big nuisance while I called my boss who then called the school to sort out the situation.
I miss the classroom so much. I ended up teaching in China for five years at various training schools. After returning to Illinois, I still taught as a primary school teacher in a public school.
I often feel extremely ugly from inside to my outside, but something is attractive there. This does not come just in terms of flirting and relationships—mania makes me a genuine lightbulb that flickers in a way that encourages the insects to me—everyone looks like a June bug—this is what I have come to understand about life. But that ugly does kind of stay like rot in a cavity that leaves a bad taste in the mouth that smells foul—hoping nobody catches the smell near me—it must tie into my struggles with bulimia over the years.
The same goes for my years as a teacher—in relation to the whole lightbulb phenomenon—I’m positive it is tied to mania and hypomania. The younger students always were fixated on the information I was teaching to them. I kept over the years methods taught to me and self-taught that I found extremely effective with younger students when it comes to teaching.
Everything was physical in learning in terms of intensity and ambition. When teaching my first grade classroom I would create flashcards for the vocab we would work on and implement in creating new sentences with. We would chant these words together in a way that made me a clown while teaching. Students would yell out the word that I presented with intense enthusiasm. As I walked by students it was expected that while they yelled out the word they would also physically hit the card. Later I would also work on physical gestures and acting out of vocab words and they would follow the actions and phrases with me.
I would often eventually turn the class into two teams. When students got an answer right I would behave comically and full of energy—I would give them a high five and pretend they were so strong with it that it hurt my hand in the process with much exaggeration—the students always seemed to never get tired of this act.
One game I would play involved drawing two stick figures with happy faces on them. Each figure would represent one of the teams for the classroom. I would draw a hungry alligator under the figures. Their faces would also be comical in appearance and full of exaggerations. Each figure had a parachute placed over them and four strings attached. During the game the students would race to say the word correctly represented on the flashcard or the correct word for the gesture I was making. The team that was not the slowest would lose a string on the parachute. If a team lost all four strings they would fall to the alligator who would eat them. The students found it hilarious with my actions involved in it. I would also draw tears and a person praying to represent anticipation and worry of falling down each time they lost a string.
I had a tooth game too. I would draw too large faces for each team. The team that could answer the flashcards and gestures the quickest would have a tooth drawn in their mouth. The team with the most teeth would win and it would look rather funny as the mouth grew and grew with an abnormal and extreme amount of teeth.
I often did other physical and interactive games like having students run to the word I showed a card to or gestured—each word would be attached to a point in the classroom on a wall.
I know it sounds grandiose, but the parents always seemed to think I was great at my job.
The word vulnerable means so many things to me. That word is like the coal to form the generator that makes the guiding energy for the ethics I follow in my life—I hold very strongly to these values that have developed on how to live—I can express it more later but I greatly attach a kind of Christian value system to it, which makes sense considering I was raised in a Lutheran household and always went to church, Sunday school, and went to my courses and went through my confirmation—everyone is a bit of a mop—some pick up clean water and others dirty or a mix of it—waiting to find the people to drain them voluntarily or involuntarily. I was born vulnerable. I walk pigeon-toed and grew up tripping on my feet—I speak with a soft feminine voice. Bipolar disorder makes somebody vulnerable. There was much vulnerability in being eighteen and hospitalized involuntarily for my first manic episode—tied to a stretcher. I have almost a sense of us vs them—the vulnerable and those that harm the vulnerable—take advantage of the vulnerable—I feel this is a very much Christian in the idea of the unfortunate are more holy than the rest of the bunch—children are like that in terms of being born into a cruel existence—a cruel existence I felt at times in my life and so many do—making sure harm does not come to those in need gives the light of purpose to go bright inside like a Christmas tree in my brain—this light of happiness and warmth. I never expected I would fall in love for teaching due to the antidepressant effect provided. It would become my career for a decade. Some grow up wanting to be a teacher, I became one by accident, desperation, and being saved.
Sometimes I inflate on self-hate like a helium balloon that needs to be tied to a wrist. The vulnerability equation is imprinted on my brain.
In my early teens I started struggling with bulimia and image. I remember when my mother caught me in the act. I was not offered help but criticized. I was called a girl for my problems and threatened to be taken somewhere to be fixed of my confusion. I don’t identify as transgender. I identify as a man that struggles with bulimia and happens to have feminine qualities.
I attribute it to circumstances that happened to me—a justification for the pain at times—an attack on aspects of bisexuality.
After a long day of work I did what my young self often did. I went clubbing with friends. I feel like even if I hide aspects of myself such as being bisexual, people can spot it regardless. I’m extremely secretive about it and not comfortable displaying that vulnerable aspect of myself.
My friend from England went with me. He was about six years my senior. Big guy. Tall. The clubs name was Maoye.
I always enjoyed the free drinks available to foreigners—it was done to attract Chinese clients, as the idea was foreigners being there would attract people.
Amongst the hot and sweltering crowd a man grabbed ahold of me. I felt stuck. I was taken off guard. Pushed and cornered. While on me I managed to push him off. But it all serves as a reminder of the vulnerability of my life.
A nail was placed into my hand—a constant burn and reminder of that vulnerability.
Part 2
From self-hate I can also be so grandiose. I am like a Christmas tree that is lit up. Sparklers so pretty that you cannot let go of them, even if it burns your fingertips and hurts.
From heroin to sex, you can smother the pain. You drain the ocean to fill a void in these times. It ties to mania as well. That restlessness and irritability is extinguished by the paradox of throwing kerosene to everything burning. I’m so grandiose to hide my insecurities, I mistake my misfortune as a mark of something ugly virtuous—the neon of vulnerability pulsating like a star within me. Swelling on a pain.
Bad habits. I want you to judge me and tell me what’s wrong with me. Give me a verdict.
Stress a trigger for mania, and I was stressed from the incident I had experienced at the club. I bloated like a tick to distract from locusts of thoughts that could not shut up with their commotion.
I had been sleeping around more than before. My brain was Christmas tree lights. I accelerated on a generator—I made a mixed episode worse.
Tease a disaster when you are heightened like a blimp. Full of hydrogen. Hoping to burn up ad rain down like napalm.
When the pretty candles on the Christmas tree are left untouched—not looked at like a kettle on burner that has been forgotten—the dry neglected tree will into a house fire.
I’ve had four attempts in my life so far.
When I attempt I don’t cry for help. I feel too vulnerable. I’m afraid.
Hate police and wards.
Downing pills.
My past failed attempts made me aware of everything done wrong before. The sleeping pills alone might not do what I was looking for at that time. I bought an electrical cable. This way if it failed I would still be unconscious and choked out by the cord—fail safe plan to end my life.
The words coming out of my mouth slowed down. I started getting second thoughts. Stuck my face towards the toilet bowl while on my knees. Sticking my fingers down my throat. Leaving blood vessels bursting in my eyes.
Went stumbling outside and waved a taxi down and asked to be taken to the local hospital.
Never expected finding myself checked into a psych ward in a foreign country.
Nietzsche has a quote in reference to chaos in life and how it is needed to create a star—this reference holds so much value to me. Sometimes stars hit together just right to create fate out of the worst of things. The ward lead me to meet the woman made of paper. She would one day become my wife. I would have two daughters with her. Forge together as soldiers to face the obstacles in life. Someone who would save my life during a future attempt when I was found unconscious from an overdose. The smartest and toughest woman I have ever known. Someone to build trenches with.
I liked it when she stuck that needle in me for an IV. It must correlate to being a heroin addict. The pushing of something in my vein correlates to happiness and purity.
The woman made out of paper was my nurse in the ward I was stuck in. What attracted her to the mess that is me I will never understand fully.
The woman made out of paper is named Lilu. She was one year older than me and one of my nurses at that ward in Taiyuan. She was from Zhengzhou—a city in the province of Henan that is based in the center of China. I am sure as the reader it would be nice to know why I call her the woman made of paper.
She struggled with her own demons. She also deserves much praise for her resilience and brains. When she was born she was raised by a family that adopted her and often neglected and abused her growing up. Her biological family is distant from her, even though she has an identical twin—they felt too poor to take care of her and made the choice that they needed to be less of one child as she also has an older sister—her twin got to stay with that family but she was given up and adopted. I am sure this must bother her even if she never will talk about it to anyone in her life—as she is one to refuse ever discussing emotions and feelings, as this is not her personality type—she is very much a fighter. I think most would struggle with wondering why they were the one let go of—it also must hurt her knowing that the family would have a son and keep him.
Despite all these circumstances, she graduated top of her class of four thousand students—Chinese high schools can be quite large serving a large region—they often serve as boarding schools. She was a smart and hardworking student. Circumstances never made her stop trying to be the best and moving forward and she never made excuses for herself. In university she also did well and got accepted at the most studious and hard to obtain nursing position at the number one hospital in Shanxi.
I have already ranted and gone on about my affection and feelings tied to heroin. Drinking of entire oceans to fill voids.
Paper is a void. It asks for calligraphy to be written on it to make braille. This way when fingers run over skin, it tells worth—the reason for troubles—it forms connection through those words of declaration—the whining for why things are the way they are—the filling of a void like a heroin addict needing a cure—two papers come together to write upon one another—as a paper I am her typo—I stand as a falling mess with nerves like tripwire, I keep failing and losing my composer, while she stands stronger as a declaration that has been written on—when I was chased I listened to her and joined as one. I wish and intend to always serve the woman made out of paper who has saved my life and has always been there for me, being so strong despite circumstances—amongst the wind of turmoil in life I follow along her path.
It was love at first sight for her but not for me. I had no interest in dating her at the time. I worked across the street of that hospital in an office building for a training center as a part time job. I would teach adults English who paid for private lessons near to Yingze park in the center of Taiyuan. She signed up for classes for me to teach her and brought me food on almost every other day that she had prepared. Eventually we found ourselves coupled fully.
In a pit. I get to burn as paper amongst another’s paper. Eternally. With a life that will keep reoccurring.
Part 3 Liu
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Liu.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be a room for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.
Part 4 Taishen
My former roommate in the ward I shared a room with had paranoid schizophrenia. I was stuck in the same place due to mania, and just had gotten my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
I was so pissed being stuck there and felt I had no business being there. I found my diagnosis to be an insult to me. I was only 18 at the time—taken in on a stretcher. Made me feel very vulnerable and irritated.
My roommate was having delusions related to Christianity and could not stop waking me up in the middle of the night to ask and talk about Jesus. Left me beyond frustrated.
He was drifting from his wife and would go on and on about intending to leave her. Felt he was spied and plotted against by her. So we were both frustrated with being there.
The toilets were special. They would flush what needed to be flushed but not certain things like pills—it helped to keep people from hiding they were not taking their medications.
He had tried to flush his wedding ring down the toilet but he did not realized it didn’t flush. I went to use the restroom later and saw the ring. I told him. He took it out. He found it to be a sign form God that he is to stay with his wife, and there was immense happiness in his eyes.
submitted by taiyuan41 to BipolarReddit [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 20:18 taiyuan41 Napalm part 1

It felt frustrating in Chongqing. I was rather stuck in Hechuan. I got accustomed to lajiao (spice) there. I was a Midwesterner at the age of 22. I was raised in Illinois. I became a manic—a Ferris wheel on fire—I was hiding under a bed in a hotel. Bold like napalm. Sometimes I can never stop. Even when I was 18 in a ward arguing with staff. Always want to fight things. That’s why I refused the meds and went on a plane from America to China. I was going to be an English teacher. And like a light switch, the change and SSRIs turned me into a mess. It would be my first time experiencing psychosis. My biggest issue. I never imagined I would be stuck illegally in a country suffering a psychotic episode in my early twenties.
Transplanted as pollen. I was left with a backpack and a cellphone. With a downloaded app called WeChat. I had arrogantly quit a university job in a fit. Spent the past months full of energy and not sleeping and neglecting myself, including not eating, to work on a novel. Not considering myself normally religious, I had obsessed over occult ideas during that time. Spending nights reading Aleister Crowley—haven taken a rusty pocket knife to carve a pentagram on my chest for spiritual protection.
I did not have funds to fly home. My visa was connected to my previous job, which meant I had now made it void. I was an illegal resident now in China.
I used a nifty app called WeChat as a messaging app, it allows users to find people near them that are also looking for others. It was like a virtual pond. All kinds of people, including sex workers trying to make things happen.
It could with luck be used to find people looking for people in terms of other kinds of work. It was helpful on many occasions for finding gigs working at English training schools and also finding work as a private tutor for people.
WeChat also works as a digital wallet.
Mania makes me irritable. Enough to tell a boss to fuck off. Thoughts ricochet within me. Bumper cars collide.
Being stuck and angry sucks. I scrolled and scrolled on a Huawei phone.
Absolutely pissed off at this world.
Pissed at the times police wanted to take me away for being a mess.
Sometimes women get pissed. Scrolling through their phones. Angry at their cheating husbands. It really is not that hard to have flair—be a damn white oddity. Like moths to a porchlight. Particles of sand through hands. This is when I first started the habit of it…
I rather go by a rather empty name of Taishen… with further explanation needed but now is not convenient. But I assure it is interesting enough and has some importance.
Habits are various in nature in how they attach to and eat at marrow—like atom bombs flashing as rays evaporating DNA—sets in a way less than human as putting myself in the cage of bad things taken up—my time as a former heroin addict is left as stretch marks on me in various ways. The same goes for the first time I found myself making arrangements with middle aged married women while desperation of waves whiplashed me like sandpaper hands coming at me to leave me in a tiring state of abrasion.
I had spent a night snuck away into a hotel. Found someone on a business trip. Instead of registering I waited to sneak along into the hotel elevator amongst a group of others attending the hotel, as I had no card. I headed to a designated room number. Originally I was sitting in a park. Playing on WeChat and found someone in their mid-thirties. Pictures were exchanged and I said no. She brought up paying for the hotel if I arrived. I agreed and went along.
When I met I washed up after her and we used our phones to awkwardly translate what we would do.
Room service knocked. I found myself hidden under a bed as I was not registered to be there.
It seems unusual that it was around this time I had started working on a story of my life as a heroin addict when I got caught up in my worse manic episode ever experienced during my age of 22. Finished half that story before never going back to it after my manic episode had ended. Now I am here writing about it and wondering if the same can happen again in the process of this work.
It feels extremely cliché I would write a novel about struggles with heroin addiction. It has been done many times. It’s just lame of me.
I feel like my thoughts are bit off. I left the hotel the next morning with the little money I did have on a debit card. Turns out the woman was from Taiyuan. It is a city in the northern part of China in the province of Shanxi—coal country with the worst air pollution in China. She has a colleague in Taiyuan that takes courses at an English training center. I was able to contact this place in the morning via a shared contact on WeChat given to me by the stranger I met that night.
Before I knew it I was sending my information and documents in my backpack at an internet café in a fax—with the intent that the woman agreed to share my information to the training center as she shared my contact to its hiring manager. It would land me a job that day that would help me out of my situation. Things turned not quite out as I expected though. I was shifted like a ball to somebody else to contact for a training center geared to teaching children.
I took what I had and ran off to a train station after taking the public transit. Unfortunately I was shit for money and could not afford a high speed rail pass. The slow train would take thirty-two hours to get to my destination. I would have taken a room with a bed but all I could afford was a hard seat for the travel.
Things were getting better for me in the circumstance considering I had found someone willing to take me for work despite my visa situation.
The thirty-two hour train ride was horrendous in some ways, but mostly I was in excitement despite the circumstances. I’m always giddy when disappointed. I moved up and down the aisle of the train. I could not speak mandarin, but it did not stop me from trying to interact with everyone. I talked many ears off during the train ride. I went up and down the aisle trying to interact as a moth to porchlights—I could not stop even if I had wanted to. I found great enjoyment the times I did get to sit across a table from somebody my age heading to Taiyuan from Chongqing. They were a university student returning to their hometown. Another passenger who sat beside me was an elderly man with hard boiled eggs, he was eating one after another one. I highly enjoyed each and every conversation that I had. It was like my head was a lightbulb wanting June bugs to bang against it with the intensity of Roman candles shot at my mouth of nicotine tinged teeth.
“If you find someone in Shanxi it is practice to pay the family money before you can get married. You would also have to already own a home and a car,” told my new friend across in their seat from me—a university passenger friend named David.
“Not necessarily what I was looking for. When is the next stop for snacks?” When the train stops I am able to get out and to have a walk onto the platform to buy various goods from the vendors to take back with me to eat along the ride to Taiyuan.
I had all my important documents tucked in my bag. This included my health clearance and obviously I made no mention of my mental health diagnosis or history to the doctor who had to evaluate me. My diploma and TEFL certificate were tucked away securely. A TEFL is a certificate that stands for Teaching English as a Foreign Language, it qualifies me to teach English as a second language abroad—it had only took a few months of taking a course online that I had paid for to obtain.
It is easy to be happy when you can trick yourself as your own con artist. Mania can make you deceive yourself. One can be doused in napalm and still not fully recognize what is actually going on. Same goes the flicking of psychosis. Even when I have nothing I find myself in my radiating irritation the most qualified of things—the velocity of my rhythm sets me out of an orbit.
The pressure cooker keeps me moving like a propeller at times. I finally arrived at Taiyuan. I arrived at the station to be greeted by Ryan my manager and his assistant Jennifer. We had our hello and introduction and they helped me get to a taxi that would bring me to my new apartment. I finally had a residence again. Apparently they were desperate for a teacher. The last teacher was from New Mexico and apparently they pulled a midnight run—that is when a teacher in the middle of the night disappears onto a plane back home without any notification of it.
The apartment was okay. On the fourth floor with no elevator, so it was a bit of a climb up a dark stairwell not lit correctly.
My job was a training center that had a location near Yingze Park in the center of the city. I was to be paid in cash via envelopes. I would assist in teaching kindergarten all the way up to high school aged students there in private lessons paid by their parents. I would also be assigned by my company to various primary schools in the city. I would take public buses to various schools paid by the company I worked for to give English lessons as I bounced around to various classrooms and schools in the city. Often I would receive a phone call to avoid going to work that day if my boss got inside input that officials would be doing raids to check foreigners’ visas that day.
A taxi ride would always be a thrill. Caused me nerves at first, but I came to love the flying in dangerous ways along a busy road. I remember a driver beeping their horn away as they drove onto the sidewalk to pass people. They treated the pedestrians as if they were in the wrong. I came flying in front of a primary school at its front gates. I was going to start teaching a first grade classroom and a kindergarten classroom. The way schools are set up is with a wall around the entirety of the exterior of the school. There is a gate at the front where one or two security will be waiting to let people in and out of the complex of the school.
I walked in front of the gate to greet the security. It was my first time with an assignment at this school. The guard said they had never seen me before and wouldn’t let me in. Not a big nuisance while I called my boss who then called the school to sort out the situation.
I miss the classroom so much. I ended up teaching in China for five years at various training schools. After returning to Illinois, I still taught as a primary school teacher in a public school.
I often feel extremely ugly from inside to my outside, but something is attractive there. This does not come just in terms of flirting and relationships—mania makes me a genuine lightbulb that flickers in a way that encourages the insects to me—everyone looks like a June bug—this is what I have come to understand about life. But that ugly does kind of stay like rot in a cavity that leaves a bad taste in the mouth that smells foul—hoping nobody catches the smell near me—it must tie into my struggles with bulimia over the years.
The same goes for my years as a teacher—in relation to the whole lightbulb phenomenon—I’m positive it is tied to mania and hypomania. The younger students always were fixated on the information I was teaching to them. I kept over the years methods taught to me and self-taught that I found extremely effective with younger students when it comes to teaching.
Everything was physical in learning in terms of intensity and ambition. When teaching my first grade classroom I would create flashcards for the vocab we would work on and implement in creating new sentences with. We would chant these words together in a way that made me a clown while teaching. Students would yell out the word that I presented with intense enthusiasm. As I walked by students it was expected that while they yelled out the word they would also physically hit the card. Later I would also work on physical gestures and acting out of vocab words and they would follow the actions and phrases with me.
I would often eventually turn the class into two teams. When students got an answer right I would behave comically and full of energy—I would give them a high five and pretend they were so strong with it that it hurt my hand in the process with much exaggeration—the students always seemed to never get tired of this act.
One game I would play involved drawing two stick figures with happy faces on them. Each figure would represent one of the teams for the classroom. I would draw a hungry alligator under the figures. Their faces would also be comical in appearance and full of exaggerations. Each figure had a parachute placed over them and four strings attached. During the game the students would race to say the word correctly represented on the flashcard or the correct word for the gesture I was making. The team that was not the slowest would lose a string on the parachute. If a team lost all four strings they would fall to the alligator who would eat them. The students found it hilarious with my actions involved in it. I would also draw tears and a person praying to represent anticipation and worry of falling down each time they lost a string.
I had a tooth game too. I would draw too large faces for each team. The team that could answer the flashcards and gestures the quickest would have a tooth drawn in their mouth. The team with the most teeth would win and it would look rather funny as the mouth grew and grew with an abnormal and extreme amount of teeth.
I often did other physical and interactive games like having students run to the word I showed a card to or gestured—each word would be attached to a point in the classroom on a wall.
I know it sounds grandiose, but the parents always seemed to think I was great at my job.
The word vulnerable means so many things to me. That word is like the coal to form the generator that makes the guiding energy for the ethics I follow in my life—I hold very strongly to these values that have developed on how to live—I can express it more later but I greatly attach a kind of Christian value system to it, which makes sense considering I was raised in a Lutheran household and always went to church, Sunday school, and went to my courses and went through my confirmation—everyone is a bit of a mop—some pick up clean water and others dirty or a mix of it—waiting to find the people to drain them voluntarily or involuntarily. I was born vulnerable. I walk pigeon-toed and grew up tripping on my feet—I speak with a soft feminine voice. Bipolar disorder makes somebody vulnerable. There was much vulnerability in being eighteen and hospitalized involuntarily for my first manic episode—tied to a stretcher. I have almost a sense of us vs them—the vulnerable and those that harm the vulnerable—take advantage of the vulnerable—I feel this is a very much Christian in the idea of the unfortunate are more holy than the rest of the bunch—children are like that in terms of being born into a cruel existence—a cruel existence I felt at times in my life and so many do—making sure harm does not come to those in need gives the light of purpose to go bright inside like a Christmas tree in my brain—this light of happiness and warmth. I never expected I would fall in love for teaching due to the antidepressant effect provided. It would become my career for a decade. Some grow up wanting to be a teacher, I became one by accident, desperation, and being saved.
Sometimes I inflate on self-hate like a helium balloon that needs to be tied to a wrist. The vulnerability equation is imprinted on my brain.
In my early teens I started struggling with bulimia and image. I remember when my mother caught me in the act. I was not offered help but criticized. I was called a girl for my problems and threatened to be taken somewhere to be fixed of my confusion. I don’t identify as transgender. I identify as a man that struggles with bulimia and happens to have feminine qualities.
I attribute it to circumstances that happened to me—a justification for the pain at times—an attack on aspects of bisexuality.
After a long day of work I did what my young self often did. I went clubbing with friends. I feel like even if I hide aspects of myself such as being bisexual, people can spot it regardless. I’m extremely secretive about it and not comfortable displaying that vulnerable aspect of myself.
My friend from England went with me. He was about six years my senior. Big guy. Tall. The clubs name was Maoye.
I always enjoyed the free drinks available to foreigners—it was done to attract Chinese clients, as the idea was foreigners being there would attract people.
Amongst the hot and sweltering crowd a man grabbed ahold of me. I felt stuck. I was taken off guard. Pushed and cornered. While on me I managed to push him off. But it all serves as a reminder of the vulnerability of my life.
A nail was placed into my hand—a constant burn and reminder of that vulnerability.
Part 2
From self-hate I can also be so grandiose. I am like a Christmas tree that is lit up. Sparklers so pretty that you cannot let go of them, even if it burns your fingertips and hurts.
From heroin to sex, you can smother the pain. You drain the ocean to fill a void in these times. It ties to mania as well. That restlessness and irritability is extinguished by the paradox of throwing kerosene to everything burning. I’m so grandiose to hide my insecurities, I mistake my misfortune as a mark of something ugly virtuous—the neon of vulnerability pulsating like a star within me. Swelling on a pain.
Bad habits. I want you to judge me and tell me what’s wrong with me. Give me a verdict.
Stress a trigger for mania, and I was stressed from the incident I had experienced at the club. I bloated like a tick to distract from locusts of thoughts that could not shut up with their commotion.
I had been sleeping around more than before. My brain was Christmas tree lights. I accelerated on a generator—I made a mixed episode worse.
Tease a disaster when you are heightened like a blimp. Full of hydrogen. Hoping to burn up ad rain down like napalm.
When the pretty candles on the Christmas tree are left untouched—not looked at like a kettle on burner that has been forgotten—the dry neglected tree will into a house fire.
I’ve had four attempts in my life so far.
When I attempt I don’t cry for help. I feel too vulnerable. I’m afraid.
Hate police and wards.
Downing pills.
My past failed attempts made me aware of everything done wrong before. The sleeping pills alone might not do what I was looking for at that time. I bought an electrical cable. This way if it failed I would still be unconscious and choked out by the cord—fail safe plan to end my life.
The words coming out of my mouth slowed down. I started getting second thoughts. Stuck my face towards the toilet bowl while on my knees. Sticking my fingers down my throat. Leaving blood vessels bursting in my eyes.
Went stumbling outside and waved a taxi down and asked to be taken to the local hospital.
Never expected finding myself checked into a psych ward in a foreign country.
Nietzsche has a quote in reference to chaos in life and how it is needed to create a star—this reference holds so much value to me. Sometimes stars hit together just right to create fate out of the worst of things. The ward lead me to meet the woman made of paper. She would one day become my wife. I would have two daughters with her. Forge together as soldiers to face the obstacles in life. Someone who would save my life during a future attempt when I was found unconscious from an overdose. The smartest and toughest woman I have ever known. Someone to build trenches with.
I liked it when she stuck that needle in me for an IV. It must correlate to being a heroin addict. The pushing of something in my vein correlates to happiness and purity.
The woman made out of paper was my nurse in the ward I was stuck in. What attracted her to the mess that is me I will never understand fully.
The woman made out of paper is named Lilu. She was one year older than me and one of my nurses at that ward in Taiyuan. She was from Zhengzhou—a city in the province of Henan that is based in the center of China. I am sure as the reader it would be nice to know why I call her the woman made of paper.
She struggled with her own demons. She also deserves much praise for her resilience and brains. When she was born she was raised by a family that adopted her and often neglected and abused her growing up. Her biological family is distant from her, even though she has an identical twin—they felt too poor to take care of her and made the choice that they needed to be less of one child as she also has an older sister—her twin got to stay with that family but she was given up and adopted. I am sure this must bother her even if she never will talk about it to anyone in her life—as she is one to refuse ever discussing emotions and feelings, as this is not her personality type—she is very much a fighter. I think most would struggle with wondering why they were the one let go of—it also must hurt her knowing that the family would have a son and keep him.
Despite all these circumstances, she graduated top of her class of four thousand students—Chinese high schools can be quite large serving a large region—they often serve as boarding schools. She was a smart and hardworking student. Circumstances never made her stop trying to be the best and moving forward and she never made excuses for herself. In university she also did well and got accepted at the most studious and hard to obtain nursing position at the number one hospital in Shanxi.
I have already ranted and gone on about my affection and feelings tied to heroin. Drinking of entire oceans to fill voids.
Paper is a void. It asks for calligraphy to be written on it to make braille. This way when fingers run over skin, it tells worth—the reason for troubles—it forms connection through those words of declaration—the whining for why things are the way they are—the filling of a void like a heroin addict needing a cure—two papers come together to write upon one another—as a paper I am her typo—I stand as a falling mess with nerves like tripwire, I keep failing and losing my composer, while she stands stronger as a declaration that has been written on—when I was chased I listened to her and joined as one. I wish and intend to always serve the woman made out of paper who has saved my life and has always been there for me, being so strong despite circumstances—amongst the wind of turmoil in life I follow along her path.
It was love at first sight for her but not for me. I had no interest in dating her at the time. I worked across the street of that hospital in an office building for a training center as a part time job. I would teach adults English who paid for private lessons near to Yingze park in the center of Taiyuan. She signed up for classes for me to teach her and brought me food on almost every other day that she had prepared. Eventually we found ourselves coupled fully.
In a pit. I get to burn as paper amongst another’s paper. Eternally. With a life that will keep reoccurring.
Part 3 Liu
A woman like Chang’e lived on a moon. Far away.
You can refer to me as Liu.
At the age of 19 I was diagnosed with a severe nerve pain condition. It is called trigeminal neuralgia but you can call it TN for ease.
I was frustrated. I had completed a degree in international finances from Chongqing University of Business and Technology. The boom of the economy was not the same. There was an urge to “lay flat”—to not try as a form of opposition to everything going on in a waning economy in China.
All are elephants chained for an audience. People love to peek and stare as though they are glass doors without hinges—to be made feel useless.
I developed TN at the age of 19, and was now 22. It came as an arrow, and quite literally to the face. It’s a rare nerve pain disorder often considered one of the most painful conditions known.
The illness involves intense nerve pain throughout the left side of my face. It felt like someone was trying to pull all of the teeth on the left side of my face without anesthesia. The pain can leave me falling to the floor unable to speak or move while screaming profanities while choked by pain. A feeling of a knife to my face over and over again. It leaves me in absolute shock. Like Roman candles to the face. An absolute hindrance. The anticipation of not knowing when it will happen again is a nightmare at times.
The disease is often called the suicide disease, apparently up to 26% try to take their lives. In a state of panic during one of the nerve attacks I began swallowing any pill near to me. I went to the hospital to have my stomach pumped when I was found comatose by my mother.
I want to be Chang’e and on the moon and away from a world I have had enough of.
Gossip spread around the workplace that I attempted suicide over an affair with a married man. There was too much guilt to return to the workplace. COVID did have an impact to the economy. I still remember my hometown having dirt and trees piled onto the exits and entrances to the city keep people in their places.
The work I did find felt beneath me. China has what is called the great firewall that keeps something in and out of the country’s networks. A VPN was necessary to access American TikTok as it was used as opposed to the Chinese version.
Feels humiliating the nature of the outcome for me—I gave up in many ways like so many Chinese youth. For work I would go to a local office building. Amongst a long hall would be a room for live stream performers. I would entertain with watchers while trying to obtain virtual gifts for actual money. I despised it—sometimes the conversation could be funny or interesting but it felt hollow.
I would paint flowers on my face and wear hanfu clothing while doing ASMR.
I had a mind of sparklers burning until it burnt and stung like wax—like I had the option to stop and cry and those tears stuck as wax and burnt or I soldiered on and grew accustomed to the pain. I was an elephant chained. The audience watched and interacted with me on the live. I was a chained elephant when it was found out about my previous attempt and when the rumors spread.
Too many thorns in life. Nails hitting at the wrong points like an equation for something terrible to eventually happen.
My favorite dish was Henan noodles. I often cooked it with my mom. It provides great memories of childhood. I hadn’t talked to my mother as much as before. She moved to a job in Taiyuan.
Sometimes I would go up to visit her. But it was harder as she worked more and more hours. Sometimes voids build even when going through extreme nerve pain. And with trigeminal neuralgia, the pain was so intense that I would freeze and scream in pain. It cannot always be hid. It made me an elephant tethered.
Life can be like a pressure like no other. Too much stress. Makes one feel irritable with a mouth like a sprinkler of napalm when someone is too close. Life feels like a lit fire cracker held—in the end it would tear my hand up. Things kept building while the other side of my face began to hurt too recently. This was rare and not so common. My eyesight was becoming blurry too and it seemed I might have multiple sclerosis as the pain was on both side, it was not common for my age, and the blurry eyesight. An appointment was scheduled and I felt terrified to know what was going on and wondered if it was best to not even know my health.
I walked out of the studio and had a cigarette. My boss came out and joined to talk. He was concerned about view count and wanted me to do things to increase it that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a few comments I found incentive.
The boss sure liked to criticize and apply pressure. He was not impressed with my work and thought I could do something different. In China an application is used called WeChat. This application has many uses. People can display and share moments like a Facebook wall, message each other, send money, video chat, and even has a feature to find people near to you who are also looking for people near to them. I was to attract people onto dates. The idea was they would be lured in and the men would go to a set destination to a planned tea house that served snacks. When the men arrived (they had no knowledge of the setup) the bill would be at an absurd rate and if the men refused to pay larger men would use their size to force them to pay up.
I was not sure at the time yet if I wanted the job. Being worried about ethics and safety. It was something I would have to think about.
My medical expenses were growing and I knew the nerve disease could be expensive to treat with surgery. All I had was thoughts while looking at the moon.
Part 4 Taishen
My former roommate in the ward I shared a room with had paranoid schizophrenia. I was stuck in the same place due to mania, and just had gotten my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
I was so pissed being stuck there and felt I had no business being there. I found my diagnosis to be an insult to me. I was only 18 at the time—taken in on a stretcher. Made me feel very vulnerable and irritated.
My roommate was having delusions related to Christianity and could not stop waking me up in the middle of the night to ask and talk about Jesus. Left me beyond frustrated.
He was drifting from his wife and would go on and on about intending to leave her. Felt he was spied and plotted against by her. So we were both frustrated with being there.
The toilets were special. They would flush what needed to be flushed but not certain things like pills—it helped to keep people from hiding they were not taking their medications.
He had tried to flush his wedding ring down the toilet but he did not realized it didn’t flush. I went to use the restroom later and saw the ring. I told him. He took it out. He found it to be a sign form God that he is to stay with his wife, and there was immense happiness in his eyes.
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2024.06.04 20:15 Trash_Tia Hire A Boyfriend™️

It was like Amazon. For boyfriend's.
According to his bio, Cam was a cat person.
His favorite food was sushi, and he loved horror movies.
His profile was cute. Cam’s photo looked professionally taken. He was a guy in his mid twenties with a slight curl in his lip that teased the start of a smile. Maybe a little on the pretentious side with the Sherlock style trench coat, though his eyes were what pulled me in.
I don't think I had ever seen that shade of blue.
Like staring directly into a perfect, crystalline blue sky.
Not quite natural, but too beautiful to ignore.
Cam was perfect.
Now, I didn't really think this Hire-a-boyfriend thing through.
I found the app through a link my friend Hannah sent me.
After just getting out of a pretty toxic relationship, finding someone to just hang out with was more comforting than dwelling on a relationship I have trouble even remembering. I don't think I can describe loving someone I don't remember. I have zero memories of him, only a vague sense that I was drowning.
That I had to run, to get away from him.
His face inside my mind is more of an outline, a shadow I can't make out. My therapist said it was PTSD, my mind’s way of dealing with trauma. I don't know the details, but I woke up in the emergency room with stitches in the back of my head.
Hanna was straight forward in her text.
She told me Hire-a-Boyfriend pulled her out of depression.
I was sceptical, though the app looked legit.
Like I said, it was Amazon. For boyfriend's.
The interface was cute.
When I signed in through my apple account, the app required a questionnaire after registering.
They asked details such as my likes, hobbies, and who and what I was in the mood for.
The Boyfriend™️ was a bestseller.
I found Cam on the feature page. His reviews were sparkling.
I hired Cam for a wedding! He was amazing! So polite, I wish he was my real bf :( - Lissa.
“Watched a movie with Cam, and he talked all the way through it. Not in a bad way lol, the movie was terrible. This guy was hot. I fully recommend”! - Ryan.
”Hire a bf is amazing lmao, my friends actually thought we were dating. The plastic thing ruins it tho. 😭” - Mina.
Scrolling down, there were even Husbands™️.
Husbands were more expensive, and could be hired for up to three days.
The Boyfriend™️, however, was only available for 2 hours up to a full night.
The app intrigued me.
I thought it was a joke, but could I really hire a pretend boyfriend?
Before I knew what was happening, I was on my second glass of wine, and my credit card was definitely in my hand, squeezed between my fingers.
In the back of my mind, hiring a boyfriend was a whole other level of dystopia.
However, I was still lying to college friends about being taken. Even worse, I blabbed I was fucking engaged at twenty three. This was definitely a me problem. My initial plan was to close down the app and install Tinder.
But my credit card was feeling heavy in my hand, the corner spiking my palm.
Cam was 50 bucks for half a day with him.
50 bucks I would otherwise spend on Uber Eats or over-expensive makeup.
Tapping on Cam, my hands were shaking. I was halfway through the hiring process that was settling on a day, a time, and a location, when a discounted Boyfriend™️ popped up.
Roman.
23.
Leaving soon!!!
Roman had two reviews, which was just a string of heart emojis and another that was hidden. I did see the start of it, but I wouldn't let me tap read more.
Hey! Isn't this… [REVIEW HIDDEN]
The guy’s lack of bio was slightly off-putting. No likes or hobbies, not even a favorite TV show. Roman’s photo stood out, however. Dark hair that was the perfect kind of messy, freckles, and a far-away look, half lidded eyes not even meeting the camera.
He looked like a daydreamer.
It made sense why this guy was on a discount. He didn't smile in one photo, and not even the teasing smirk I was used to with the others. His available photos were him standing awkwardly, arms crossed across his chest, as if he didn't know where to put them.
But, like Cam, this Boyfriend was flawless.
Not a hair out of place, and if it was, that was the style.
Each guy had a color scheme, and his color was chestnut.
His description caught my eye.
Perfect caramel coloured curls and eyes like melted chocolate. Roman is our favorite ‘Fall’ guy! An enemy to a lover in three (yes, three!) dates!
I had to agree. This guy embodied Fall itself, every outfit in deep oranges and browns that reminded me of crisp autumnal mornings. I think they were trying to sell college guy with him holding a book, and looking uncomfortable wearing a pair of glasses. His last photo was a full zoom in, capturing flawless skin and tawny eyes swirling with flecks of red.
Out of all of the guys I had scrolled through, this was the only guy who looked like he had personality.
Cam was cute, yes. But Cam reminded me of a mannequin. He was too perfect.
Roman’s perfection was human enough for him to feel real. Cam was a Ken doll wearing the exact same grin that people knew would sell. Roman was scowling, standing slightly tilted to the left, his hands in his pockets, and then squeezed into fists, before settling over his chest.
I could practically hear the impatient voice behind the camera.
Why are you scowling? Smile! Do you know how to smile?!”
“Eyes on the camera! Look awake! You're supposed to look appealing, why do you look half asleep?!”*
He made me wonder what the BTS behind Hire A Boyfriend was.
Cam was marketed as true love, while Roman was the guy next door who drives you insane, but is also kind of hot.
Were these guys strapped for cash and selling themselves out?
Was this all an act, or were they based on their real personalities?
Either way, I was sold.
Tapping hire, I chose our date to be in the city park at 3PM.
The app asked me if I had any special preferences, and I hesitated.
“Call me a donut.” I typed. If this thing was legit, this poor guy has a script.
I was nervous to meet him. After class in the afternoon, I headed to the park. It was raining, so already the date was going great. The receipt I received in my emails had the exact location, a green bench next to the water fountain.
I was five minutes early, already regretting my spontaneous, wine induced decision making.
Scrolling through my phone with clammy fingers, I was trying to cancel, when the bench wobbled next to me.
Roman.
Dressed in his usual autumnal wear, a levi’s jacket with jeans and a beanie, he looked exactly like his profile, already scowling at the ground, that exact same faraway look in his eyes.
My Boyfriend™️ was purposely distancing himself, sliding further away from me. After getting mildly offended, I remembered his standoff attitude and perma-scowl was his selling point.
The refusal to smile and inability to compliment me.
Enemy to a Lover.
He was acting.
“Hi.” His voice was a low mumble. Still refusing to look at me, he tipped his head back and blinked at the tree looming over us. “It's, um, Jane, right?”
“Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Hi.”
I watched his gaze wander, lingering on a butterfly. He folded his arms, pursing his lips. I had no idea what he was trying to say, before he let out a groan.
“I'm not calling you a fucking donut.”
Ooh, this guy was really getting into the role.
I liked it, playing along.
“It's fine,” I said with a laugh, “It was a stupid request.”
Roman met my eye, his lip curling. He wasn't laughing. “Yeah. It was.”
This guy was a pro.
I thought I'd made a mistake. Especially when my ‘boyfriend’ refused to walk by my side, stalking behind me instead.
He took me to a restaurant and bought me the cheapest option, indulging in the delicacy menu himself, and spent an hour ranting about birds not being real.
I started to realize why this guy was on discount. He was a fucking weirdo.
Still, though, everything about him was endearing.
The way his gaze wandered when I was speaking, like I could physically see his mind jetting off to Saturn.
Roman played with his hair a lot, twirling a single strand around his index. He ate his pasta like a psychopath, using a spoon instead of a fork, and spoke with his mouth full, spaghetti sauce running down his chin.
He (unintentionally) made me laugh out loud multiple times.
When we left the restaurant, Roman surprised me by slipping his hand in mine, entangling our fingers.
His gesture was unexpectedly warm.
When we parted ways, he had the slightest curve of a smile hinting that he was getting a little closer to me.
That’s how Hire a Boyfriend lured you in.
Their guys were like video game characters. I had to pay more to build them.
And that is what I did.
My friend was an artist, and invited me and my ‘boyfriend’ to her exhibition.
I hired Roman for the exhibition, but halfway through the date, he leaned his head on my shoulder, grasping tighter to my hand. He didn't get any less weirder, officially freaking out my friend with the birds aren't real theory. Eve was more amused than scared, immediately asking for his socials.
Roman said he didn't know what a social was, and she laughed harder.
“Your boyfriend is amazing,” Eve told me over drinks, “Isn't he like, literally perfect?”
Yes, he was.
But he wasn't mine.
I started hiring Roman every week, and the more I got to know him, I fell hard.
Every week turned to every day. I was obsessed with unlocking his true character and personality. Each time I hired him, Roman would get less standoffish, his barriers coming down.
He started to lean into me, squeezing my hand, kissing my shoulder.
Cash didn't matter to me, I was barely emotionally conscious when I was entering my card details. Just like the app said, Roman did get closer to me.
Fast forward four months, and I was sitting on a park bench with his head sandwiched in my shoulder, cherry blossoms blooming above us. It felt real.
He felt real.
I can't describe my feelings, because I don't even understand them.
He was the first man I remember truly falling in love with.
When he kissed me, I stopped seeing him as a Boyfriend™️.
Roman was like no other guy I’d ever met. Before him, I couldn't remember having a clear mind. After him, everything made sense. My friends loved him, and I had slowly deluded myself into believing he was real. His true personality was friendly, a little clumsy but in an endearing way, and he made me laugh. The park was our place, and I enjoyed dozing in the sun with his face pressed into my shoulder.
There was just one problem.
Roman was still a Boyfriend™️ which meant he was off limits. The plastic tag sticking out of his right temple assured that. If that wasn't enough, the app sent me hourly reminders, warning me to not get too close. I did understand, it was for the guy’s privacy and safety.
But it's not like Roman wasn't being affectionate himself.
The app said zero touching, including kissing, sexual intercourse. He kissed me multiple times, his head correctly leaning into mine. I still wasn't sure if he was part of his obligation as a Boyfriend, but it was clear this guy was slowly steering away from the rules.
I couldn't resist prodding the tag. “Does this not bother you?”
Roman shrugged, pulling his legs to his chest. “Not really. I like the smell of it.”
“Smell?”
Rowan held out a hand with a small smile, catching cherry blossom on his palm. “Yeah. Doesn't it smell good?”
He was talking about the cherry blossom.
Something about the way he immediately dismissed the tag put a sour taste in my mouth.
“No, the thing sticking out of your head,” I said with a nervous laugh.
Roman blinked, his lips breaking out into a smile. “I'm glad we both like it.”
Maybe he wasn't allowed to acknowledge the tag.
Ignoring my twisting gut, I focused on the sunset instead, blurred reds and oranges streaked across a twilight sky.
It was slowly starting to sink in that Roman was not mine.
“I love you,” he said in a low murmur.
Something warm dampened the sleeve of my shirt.
Was he crying?
For a moment, my words were tangled in my throat.
“I think I love you too.” I said, my cheeks heating up.
“Mm.” he sighed, and I was trying to ignore how wet my sleeve was getting. “I told you I would come back,” he snuggled into my shoulder, and that wetness was dripping down the bare skin of my arm. When he nestled his face in my neck, I smelled it, a tangy, metallic scent tickling the back of my nose.
Blood.
Twisting my head, my right sleeve was drenched with startling red.
My neck felt sticky, blood smearing my shoulder blade.
Roman was bleeding. I thought it was a nosebleed when I glimpsed his nose and lips and chin dripping red, but it was leaking from his ears too, rivulets of blood seeping from him, while the guy himself didn't move, still smiling, his head leaning on my shoulder. When my body remembered how to move, I jerked away with a shriek, but Roman stayed in the same position, his head tilted.
“I came back for you,” a wide smile spread across his lips, blood dribbling down his chin. “And our baby.”
I didn't respond, pulling out my phone to call an ambulance.
“Are you happy I came back?” he whispered. I was transfixed by the blood running down his face. His head jolted suddenly, his smile dampening, before curving into a frown. The man's eyes were suddenly so sad, wandering, like he was searching for something.
Someone.
“I changed my m-mind,” Roman’s head jerked again, drool slipping down his chin. “I w-want to be a dad, Sara.”
Roman’s words jolted something inside me, a shiver slipping down my spine.
I dropped my phone, using my sleeves to stop the bleeding. Grabbing his face, I forced him to look at me. “Hey. Look at me.” The bleeding was letting up a little. But it was his eyes that held me in a trance. I fell in love with beautiful, almost unnatural brown. What I was seeing was green, a smear of lime slowly seeping into that tawny oblivion.
“Roman.” I said, louder. “Who is Sara?”
His expression crumpled, like he was crying, a whole new personality taking over.
But he wasn't looking at me.
Roman was looking right through me.
“I love you,” his voice broke, “But I also love him. I'm not ready for a baby! I'm twenty three! What twenty three year old wants to settle down with a little brat?” His eyes widened, expression softening. “I didn't…I didn't mean that.”
I was talking to a memory.
“I love both of you. And I want to… I want to make a family with both of you,” he shook his head. “But not now, Sara.”
Sara.
There was that name again.
“Sara.” I said. “Can you tell me who that is?”
The man's gaze snapped to me. “Sara,” he whispered. “She's my girl…” his head jerked again, this time violently.
“Girl… friend?”
Roman frowned. “She's my girlfriend,” he mumbled. “I was going to go… back. But I… I couldn't… find her…”
His hands dropped limply to his sides.
“I looked for her. But they… grabbed me.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “They took me… away.”
When his whole body shuddered, eyes rolling back, I couldn't help myself, reaching forward with trembling hands and plucking the piece of plastic from his temple. It was like pulling a tag out of a toy. But it kept going, a long plastic thing feeding directly into his head.
It was like pulling a tag out of a toy.
This thing was a long coil of wire stained red, a metallic plate attached to the end.
Biting back a shriek, I dropped the tag, my fingers slick crimson.
This thing was embedded, fed, directly into this guy’s head.
Like a switch had been pulled, Roman’s arms fell to his sides. “Sara.” he said through a mouthful of red. “She's my… she's m-my…” he trailed off and blinked slowly. His gaze found my hand, where I was gingerly stroking his temple. Roman jumped up suddenly, his eyes frenzied, awake, like a startled animal. “What the fuck?” he shuffled away like I was contagious, diving to unsteady feet.
So, this was Roman.
“Who are you?” he swiped at his bloody chin. “Where's Sara?”
When I couldn't reply, his fingers gingerly stroked at his right temple.
“Fuck.” Roman let out a sharp breath. “You actually got that thing out.”
I was shaking, still holding it between my fingers.
This thing was warm, thrumming, like it was alive.
“And what is it?” I managed to get out. “That thing was inside your head!”
Roman curled his lip, his gaze wandering the park.
“Where's the exit?”
“What?!”
He grabbed me, harshly this time, pulling me to my feet. I was still trying to mentally register the tag feeding into his brain. This guy was not the man I hired, violently pulling me to his side when I could barely stand. His eyes were fierce, hollow, a whole other person taking over him. He was the shadow that had been pushed down, a suppressed memory who was awake.
And pissed.
“We need to get out of here right fucking now,” he said in a hiss. His fingernails stabbing into my skin hurt, but the pain was enough to snap me into fruition.
“That app.” I said. “What is it?”
Roman’s eyes darkened. “It's a factory,” he tightened his grip around my wrist.
“Can you help me find my girlfriend? I'll tell you everything, but we need–”
“Miss Doe, am I correct?”
The sudden voice caught me off guard.
Roman looked confused, his gaze flicking behind me.
Fuck. His lips formed the word and he stumbled back, his hand slipping from mine. Behind us, an outline of a woman slowly bled into the shadows.
“You.” Roman’s lips parted in a silent cry. He shook his head, clawing at his hair. The guy let out a spluttered sob, a thin line of blood escaping his nose.
“You're the bitch who did this to me.”
The outline inclined her head. “I know you have the memory of a goldfish, dear boy, but if I remember correctly, you were recommended to us. I even have your consent if you require proof.”
His eyes were wide. Terrified.
“You make us sign it! We don't have a fucking choice!”
“That's a rule break. Boyfriend's do not swear, unless it part of a joke and has been given full content by our clients.”
The woman appeared, no longer a disembodied voice, basking in the shadow of the setting sun, rich red hair and matching heels. She was my age or a little older. Sculpted in a black suit, this woman was oozing sophistication.
She turned to me with a bright smile.
“Hello Jane! My name is Lily. I'm a customer adviser at Hire a Boyfriend. I am so sorry for the malfunction!”
Tilting her head, Lily’s lips formed a frown.
“As we explained in our terms and conditions, the Boyfriend™️ does not usually act like this unless considered faulty. However, it is expected from a discounted model like Roman. He is scheduled to be refurbished in a week, so we'll happily take him off your hands.”
“No.” Roman whimpered. His gaze flashed to me. “Please… help me.”
His head jolted once again, and he dropped to his knees.
“That is also a rule break,” Lily said. “You never directly tell clients what to do.”
Roman’s body shook, his head jerking left to right.
“Get away from me.”
“You are broken, Roman. Allow me to fix you.”
His eyes filled with tears. “Broken?”
“That's right. Broken.”
“Sara.” Roman swiped blood from his nose. “Is she okay? Is she… s-safe?”
The woman regarded him with a pitiful smile.
“I'm sorry, who?”
Roman blinked. “Sara.” his expression crumpled. “She's my…she's m-m-my–”
Lily stepped towards him, and he shrunk back.
The sound of her heels frightened him, like he was used to them.
Used to her looming over him, a satisfied smile on her face.
“She's your what? Come on, speak up!”
He let out a raw cry, clawing at his hair.
“I don't know! I d-don't know! I…”
“Come quietly, and I will rethink my decision to convert Sara’s child when once of age,” Lily said. “The contract was clear. Section five, clause three. Hire a Boyfriend are automatically entitled to a Boyfriend’s offspring.”
Roman broke down, his head dropping into his lap.
“I'll go w-with you.” somehow, his eyes were glitching, unnatural blue light igniting around his iris. “I'll g-g-go.”
More blood, this time running thick down his face.
Lily’s lips split into a grin. “I'm sorry Roman, who is Sara again?”
He scrunched up his face, fighting to keep his mind. “I… d-d-don't know.”
I hated myself for turning away, after listening to him sobbing, begging for his unborn child to be safe, his mind torn from him right in front of me. I felt sick to my stomach. Lily was revelling in every second. Was this the reality of Hire a Boyfriend? What about Cam?
Who was behind his original face?
I should have done something. I stepped forward to grasp him and pull him back. When my hands were on his shoulders, the light fizzled from Roman’s eyes, sparks flickering out.
Like a puppet, he flopped to the ground.
In a panic, I tried to pull him to his feet, before I was violently shoved back.
The redhead nodded to me. “I apologise again for the malfunction, Jane,” she told me, scooping him into her arms.
He looked so vulnerable, a fully grown man somehow reduced to a living toy.
Lily bid me goodbye, promising me discount on my next Boyfriend™️.
I thought about that day a lot. I went to the cops with a report, only for them to tell me Hire a Boyfriend did not exist.
Apparently, I had been watching too many movies.
Two months passed by, and Roman never left my mind.
In an attempt to forget about him and delude myself into believing I was suffering a psychotic break, I lost myself in podcasts. Anything I could find, I listened to endless hours, blocking out thoughts drowning me.
Yesterday, I was making my way back home from class when I walked into a dishevelled looking girl with an armful of missing posters. I already knew who she was, and who was on the poster.
I was trying to avoid her, but this girl was following me. I could sense her steps getting closer, her breath on the back of my neck. Grief enveloped her in a sickly green aura, pale cheeks and straw-like hair stuck under her hooded sweatshirt. This time, the girl situated herself in front of me, red rimmed eyes begging me to stop walking.
I did, coming to an abrupt stop, my gaze immediately flicking to a very familiar face on the missing poster.
Unlike Roman, my Boyfriend™️, this man did have flaws.
Crooked teeth flashing a grin and an oddly shaped nose. He was stockier and had the worst fashion sense imaginable, clad in socks and sandles. This time, though, the boy had a different name.
Jun.
The photo was always different, what I guessed was a collection from her Instagram. This one was particularly heart wrenching. Roman’s eyes were bright and happy, no sign of that hollow cavern I found myself lost inside. The two of them were standing in front of a mirror, his arms wrapped around her.
Whatever happened to him after he was taken had stripped Jun away.
The girl shoved the poster in my face.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
JUN LOCKE.
24.
LAST SEEN WEARING A PLAID SHIRT AND JEANS, OUTSIDE CAMPUS.
I didn't look at the face that had been perfected and moulded into the ideal boyfriend.
Into Roman.
I stared at the girl’s bulging pregnant belly instead.
Sara was getting bigger.
“Please,” She whispered, her voice a hoarse cry, one hand cradling her stomach. “Have you seen my boyfriend?”
It was always a no.
Swallowing hard, I shook my head.
Sara didn't even acknowledge my answer. She turned and walked away.
“Wait.” her name tangled in my mouth.
I felt like I was floating, my body moving for me. Stumbling after Sara, I lightly touched her arm and she twisted around, her eyes igniting with hope.
Opening my mouth, I choked on my words.
I have seen your boyfriend.
“Jane Doe! Oh my God, I haven't seen you in… years, is it? How are you doing?”
Sara’s half lidded eyes flicked to a familiar face behind me.
Lily.
This time, the woman strutted in a stylish red dress.
Her smile was too wide, too many teeth.
“Jane, can we talk?” she asked, “Woman to woman.”
Lily nodded at Sara’s belly. “Congratulations!” she winked. “I hope it's a boy!”
I had no choice, letting her pull me away from Sara.
Lily’s grasp on my arm was polite. She dragged me off campus. I thought she was going to throw me into a truck, before the redhead came to a stop.
I tried to pull away, but her grip tightened.
“It is quite painful, you know,” she said casually.
When I frowned at her, the woman prodded at her own temple. “The Neurowire is fed directly into the brain to ensure complete compliance with our Boyfriend's.” her gaze was across the road, and when I followed her eye, my heart almost jumped out of my throat.
Roman.
They had cut his hair. He was a sandy blonde now.
His colour scheme was deep blue, sporting a short sleeved shirt and jeans.
He was laughing, hand in hand with another girl.
“I'm only going to say this once, Jane, because you are a little too curious.”
I watched Roman reach for the girl’s hand. They must have changed his personality. Now he was smiling and playful, the two of them laughing. But there was a shy side to him, his cheeks blossoming red, fingers slipping through her fingers and entangling them.
“There are certain men in our society who are born to be Boyfriend's and Husbands.” Lily spoke up, and I realized she didn't just work for them.
She was Hire a Boyfriend.
“At Hire a Boyfriend, we believe everyone should have a significant other they can be with. Even if it's for an hour or two every day.” she turned to Roman, who was wrapping his arms around the girl, laughing into her hair.
The two of them seemed too close. I had a feeling this wasn't their first date.
Lily followed my gaze, her eyes narrowing. “Do you really think a man like that belongs with someone like Sara? No, sweetie. As you can see, Roman is currently being hired by Lula, our richest client, a socialite who is considering buying him as a full time Husband! Now, she is perfect for him.”
The redhead turned to me, lightly brushing my hair out of my face, the tips of her fingers tiptoeing across my temple. She had a smile I couldn't make sense of. “I have missed you, Jane. If only dear Ben didn't get his own way.”
She tried to touch me again, and I smacked her hand away.
I caught a hint of hurt in her eyes, before she sighed, grasping my chin with manicured nails and forcing me to look directly at her. “Sara is a woman who's boyfriend left her. She does not need any more stress for our baby.”
Dropping her hand, Lily’s tone hardened. “If you do not walk away and forget us, I will happily contract dear Sara into the Hire a Girlfriend program. And trust me, you of all people should know that it will be a very uncomfortable time for her. Would you like to know the conversion process? Well, allow me to explain–”
“Stop.”
My legs were close to giving way.
“I won't say anything.”
The bitch enjoyed my silence, my panicking thoughts trying to understand what she was saying. “Or we could make her a wife! There are a lot of lonely men looking for the perfect wife! Look at her. A young woman in her early twenties. Perfectly healthy and beautiful. And she's pregnant, so that's a bonus! Sara Mcintire is textbook girl next door. Exactly what we look for.”
Shaking my head, I was trembling, sweat trickling down my neck.
Lily's nails dug into my skin. “Am I clear, Jane? Or do you want me to say it again?” her lips grazed my ear, a shiver skittering down my spine, bugs filling my mouth. “Pain is beauty, after all, and we aim to create perfect Boyfriend's. I'll leave the process to your imagination.”
Stepping back, I nodded, swallowing a bout of vomit.
“Good.” she pivoted on her heel. “Keep walking and you will never see me again. Neither will pretty little Sara.”
Her voice followed me home.
“By the way, it was nice to see you again! Say hello to your boyfriend for me, all right?”
I don't have a boyfriend.
When I returned home, I felt like I was stepping inside a different apartment.
Everything seemed just like how I left it but the house was too… clean.
Too empty.
Standing in front of my bedroom mirror, I pulled out my ponytail, my fingers lightly prodding at my temple.
What did she call me again?
Jane Doe.
Maybe I was seeing things, but I'm terrified.
There it was.
How had I never seen it before?
With shaky fingers, I prodded the tiny plastic tag sticking out of me.
When I pulled it out of Roman, he knew who he was.
Who Sara was, and his unborn child.
Am/was I like Roman?
Am I a Hire a Girlfriend?
And if I pull this thing out, who was I before?
Edit: I've found hundreds of blood stained and fresh tags in my bedroom drawer. Who is changing them?
I live alone, but why does my apartment feel so empty?
Please help me. I think I'm going crazy.
submitted by Trash_Tia to TheCrypticCompendium [link] [comments]

2024.06.04 19:49 Secret-Mulberry9545 Timebound Odyssey: Echoes of Eternity

Timebound Odyssey: Echoes of Eternity
Part 1: The Lost Years
It was Christmas morning when Jack first met Sparks. The tree was decorated with sparkling lights, and beneath it, a large box wrapped in shiny red paper with a big golden bow caught Jack's eye. His mom smiled warmly as she handed it to him.

"This one's special, Jack," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Open it carefully."

Jack tore open the wrapping paper with eager hands, revealing a sleek robot nestled inside the box. It was Sparks, though Jack didn't know it yet. He was fascinated by the robot's shiny exterior and intricate design.

"Wow, Mom! This is so cool!" Jack exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement.

His mom knelt down beside him, ready to help him activate Sparks. "There are some instructions here," she said, pointing to a small booklet inside the box. "Let's see how this little guy works."

Just as they started reading the instructions together, the phone rang loudly in the other room. Jack's mom sighed and stood up. "Hold on, Jack. I'll be right back. Keep looking at those instructions, okay?"

As his mom walked away to answer the phone, Jack's curiosity took over. He noticed some strange symbols and phrases scribbled in the margins of the instruction booklet—things only he would recognize from his time with his dad. Little keys, phrases, and symbols that had been part of their secret games and adventures.

"Yeah, this is Shelly speakin'," his mom's voice echoed from the other room in that distinct, vintage accent that carried a hint of Windy City charm.
Jack's mind raced as he pieced together the clues. He remembered a game they used to play where his dad would leave hidden messages for him. With determination, he followed the trail of hints, pressing buttons and speaking phrases that were special between him and his dad.

Suddenly, Sparks whirred to life, his eyes lighting up. Jack's heart pounded with excitement and a bit of nervousness. The robot projected a hologram into the air. It was his dad, looking serious and urgent. The message was cryptic and played backwards, making it even more mysterious.

"Come find me, Jack," the hologram said, the words echoing in the quiet room.

Jack's breath caught in his throat. His dad was out there somewhere, waiting for him. And now, he had Sparks to help him on this incredible journey.

"We have 30 minutes! I hope you can run!" Sparks suddenly beeps urgently.

Jack's eyes widen in confusion. "What? Why?"

"We gotta catch a train, or else we'll have to wait 10 human years to catch the next one!" Sparks explains, his voice tinged with urgency.

Sparks emits a series of mechanical chirps, his LED eyes twinkling mischievously. "You wanna find your dad, right? Well, strap on your superhero cape and get ready to explore, my trusty sidekick! We're about to dive into an adventure so epic, even the masked vigilantes would be impressed!"

With a quick nod, Jack springs into action, packing his backpack with essentials and scribbling a hasty note to his mom. "Be right back, Mom! Going to find Dad! Love, Jack." He slides the note under her bedroom door, hoping she'll understand.

Without looking back, Jack jumps out of the window with Sparks by his side, the cool breeze whipping past them as they race through the streets. In the distance, he hears his mom's voice calling out, "Jack! Where did you go?!"

But Jack doesn't stop. He knows his destiny awaits, and he's determined to find his father, no matter what it takes. With Sparks leading the way, they disappear into the unknown, ready for whatever adventures lie ahead.

With a sense of determination, Jack and Sparks sprint through the crowded square, weaving through the throngs of people. Jack's heart pounds in his chest as they dart around obstacles, their destination clear in their minds.

As they approach the train rails, Jack spots the looming figure of the train in the distance, smoke billowing from its chimney. With a burst of adrenaline, they make a final dash through the snow-covered field, narrowly avoiding a collision with a snowman someone built earlier.

Just as they reach the train rails, the locomotive begins to pull away, its wheels churning through the snow as it gathers speed. With a desperate leap, Jack and Sparks manage to grab hold of the railing, hoisting themselves onto the moving train.

Breathless and exhilarated, Jack collapses onto the floor of the train car, his cheeks flushed from the cold and his heart still racing from the adrenaline-fueled sprint. Sparks whirs with excitement beside him, their eyes alight with the thrill of the chase.
But their relief is short-lived as the train hurtles towards the end of the rails, seemingly careening towards a cliff's edge buried beneath the snow. Jack and Sparks scream in terror, convinced that they're about to become the world's first snowplows.

Sparks, amidst the chaos, manages to crack a joke, "Well, that was quite the downhill ride, Jack! Remind me to avoid ski trips with you in the future."

Jack, still trying to catch his breath, chuckles despite the situation, "You mean 'Ahhhhhhhhh,' that screaming? You mean it's not scary to you?"

Sparks responds with a mechanical laugh, "Oh, Jack, you know me. I'm as cool as a cucumber, even when we're hurtling towards a snowy abyss. But hey, I figured I'd join in on the fun, keep the vibe light!"

Jack can't help but grin at Sparks' light-hearted approach, feeling grateful for his companion's ability to find humor in even the most precarious situations.

But just as they brace for impact, the world around them shimmers and fades, and the train disappears into thin air, leaving behind a trail of sparkling particles. As they hurtle through the wormhole of time travel, Jack and Sparks find a seat and buckle their seat belts, which automatically adjust accordingly to height. They exchange a bewildered glance, their hearts still racing from the near-miss. Little do they know, their adventure is only just beginning, and the mysteries of time and space await them with open arms.

The train car is filled with an eclectic mix of passengers, from humanoid androids to towering aliens and mysterious witches in flowing robes. Men in black suits sit in the shadows, exchanging furtive glances. As Jack looks around, he notices floppy disk flies buzzing around the train cabinets, their wings whirring with a mechanical hum.

He leans over to Sparks and whispers, "Hey, do you see those floppy disk flies? What are they doing here?" Sparks, with a hint of amusement in his voice, responds, "Ah, those ancient relics. They must have hitched a ride from a bygone era. Maybe they're here to remind us of the good old days when saving data meant something more tangible than cloud storage!"

The train conductor, a blob alien with an AI helmet and a spiffy, intricate uniform, asks, "Where is your ticket?" Jack, scared by the conductor's appearance, answers, "I don’t have one." A tiny hovering bot emerges from the ticket conductor's body, emitting red rays that scan Jack and Sparks before declaring them "Clear."

Jack exchanges a puzzled look with Sparks, wondering about the purpose of the scan as the train speeds through the swirling vortex of time. The conductor moves on to the next passenger in the train. Sparks notices Jack is a bit worried, so to calm him down, he starts singing, "You and I must make a pact. We must bring salvation back. Where there is love, I'll be there." Jack joins in, singing, "I'll be there."

Just then, a furry-looking creature, half wolf and half elephant, in a spiffy, intricate uniform, asks, "Do you want any refreshments? I am running a sale here, kid." Jack declines, and Sparks adds, "Yeah, we're watching our calorie intake. Got to maintain these sleek robot curves!"

As Jack and Sparks settle into their seats, Jack glances out the window at the swirling vortex outside, his mind momentarily drifting back to the grassy fields near his home. Memories of winters past flood his mind, the crisp scent of snow in the air, the joyful laughter of children building snowmen, and the twinkling lights adorning the streets. He recalls the skyline dominated by towering buildings dusted with snow, the sound of classic holiday tunes playing on the radio, and the distant hum of a bustling city with its iconic elevated train tracks and billboards advertising the latest movies. He whispers softly, "Goodbye, home.

Jack gazes out, he notices a furry creature wearing a black hat watching them from a few seats away. His curiosity piqued, Jack leans over to Sparks and whispers, "Hey, do you see that furry guy with the black hat staring at us?" Sparks, with a hint of mock seriousness, responds, "Hmm, that's strange. I'm not in the market for romantic partners at the moment. Maybe I should let him know gently before he starts knitting us matching sweaters!" Jack bursts out laughing at Sparks' unexpected response, feeling a wave of amusement wash away any lingering worries as they journey through the swirling vortex of the wormhole.

Moments later…

Train announcements: Arriving at year 1604 Tokyo
https://preview.redd.it/ezdbeywajl4d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fccee3187dc190f6181eff1cb786a5aa8b998988
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2024.06.04 19:48 billieforbid My mom (F55) is abusing ozempic. I (F34) don't want to see her if I don't have to. Is it unreasonable for me to set this boundary? If not, how would you do it?

TLDR: Oldest of 5 kids. Our mom is writing herself and her husband prescriptions for semaglutide. Mom has lost so much weight that it frightens me. I've lost trust in my mom, specifically around this example of poor judgement. I don't like seeing the woman I've looked to for guidance over the past 30 years living her life this way. I don't enjoy being around her, or even communicating with her over text anymore as it makes me feel, for lack of a better word... icky. What is a reasonable boundary in this scenario? Can I go low contact without creating intense family drama? If so, how the heck do I do that?
I want to only give facts here, trying not to make any part of it seem like a bigger or smaller deal than it is. My feelings are pretty cut and dry: I do not want to spend time with my mom unless it is a family obligation (i.g. Mother's Day, or a sibling's birthday dinner). I have no idea how to tell her this without causing significant stress among all members of my family. She will take any mention of what I'm about to tell you as a personal insult. Let's get into it.
My mom has always struggled with her self esteem, particularly around her weight. She has dieted off and on my entire life (and I imagine hers), seesawing between 150lbs (68 kilos) and 350lbs (158 kilos) over the past 25 years that I've been paying attention. My mom is a smaller woman at 5'3" (160cm).
Since I was little my mom has shared with me various tips to keep my weight down. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," she'd tell me. "Be careful not to over indulge especially around your period." Stuff like that.
When I was 16 years old I went away to boarding school and gained some weight enjoying the meal plan there. NGL it was really good for a school cafeteria, lol. I'm 5'7" (170cm) and went from 135lb (61 kilos) to 155lbs (70 kilos) that year. When I came home for summer break my mom signed me up for weight watchers and we attended together all summer. If you're not familiar, Weight Watchers in the old days was just a group meeting where you paid a lady money to weigh you on a scale in front of all the other people who'd given her money. Then the lady would announce any fluctuations in your weight out loud for the group. Smart phones were not a thing at the time.
As an adult, my weight fluctuates between 145lbs and 155lbs. Sometimes the weight comes back off because I made a dietary change or a change in my physical habits, but usually changes like that are why my weight starts to climb in the first place, not the other way around. That is to say, my body seems to really prefer 145lbs and if I don't treat my body carelessly my weight tends to stay right about there, without effort.
Those times when I have gained and then lost the typical 10lbs or so, my mom makes a point to mention it. "You've lost weight! You look great!" The last time this happened I responded flatly with, "Oh..." hoping to make the point that I found her comment inappropriate.
This past holiday season when my siblings and I opened our traditional matching pajamas, mom made a big fuss about how sorry she was that my pajama pants were so "huge," "enormous," and "comically large." They were actually too small for me, lol.
Anyway I'll cut to the chase. Around August of last year my mom started losing weight rapidly. She had previously maintained her weight at (I'd guess) around 160/170lbs (75 kilos) for a handful of years before the weight loss really took off. I noticed around that time that she had fallen back into her habit of eating a couple of bites from her plate (which held half a serving of food in the first place) and then clearing her place setting before anyone might notice that she hadn't finished her meal. I didn't say anything.
A while later I spent about $300 taking her to high tea at a local farm for her birthday, where I ended up eating most of her meal in addition to mine. I didn't say anything.
Another while later while on a family vacation, my mom confessed to me that her husband (my adoptive father and the father of my siblings) thinks she has an eating disorder. She looked at me with half a smile, waiting for some kind of argument I suppose. "Whaaaaat? Noooo....." I just shrugged.
I am not joking when I tell you that it was that very same evening at dinner, when my dad pushed his first serving away unfinished and announced to the table "I just can't eat that much anymore," that I started to suspect something more was going on here.
Additional context for understanding: My mom is a medical professional with the ability to write prescriptions. She has often written scripts for our family as needed, so long as the medication in question is not a controlled substance. She has explained to us that this is the red line between unethical and illegal. Writing any of us a script for Xanax would be a crime, while writing an SSRI for my brother is only "frowned upon."
My brother is currently living at home, and told me a couple of months ago that my suspicions are correct; mom is writing herself scripts for semaglutide and more recently has begun writing them for my dad. My brother said he'd overheard mom talking about something called semaglutide and had googled it to try and better understand what he'd overheard. He told me that shortly after he'd overheard that conversation he'd turned a corner in the house and accidently witnessed our mom injecting our dad.
Since that revelation I've felt utterly paralyzed. Horrified, saddened, disappointed, and low key a little betrayed. I'm still working out how to talk to my therapist about this because I don't really understand my own feelings very well yet. Seeing her like this (100, maybe 110lbs (45-50 kilos)) and understanding exactly why and how this is happening is a very scary thing for me to grapple with. I am the oldest child and only daughter. Watching my mother succumb to her insecurities frightens me and angers me simultaneously. That she's got my dad into that boat with her now makes me feel a little sick.
My mom keeps texting me asking why we haven't found time to hang out lately. "Let me know if you find any time, we can go get pedicures," things like that. When I say I am at a loss for words...
I don't know what to do or where to go from here. Please help!
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2024.06.04 19:39 thisfriggingguy I Think My Relationship Goals Just Changed

I saw this at the drug store while waiting in line to pick up a prescription and I thought it was so cool I must share with my fellow GenX-ers. I think you'll all get a laugh out of this.
A cute elderly couple (mid-80s or so) was waiting in line in front of me and the husband says to his wife, "You go first, I'll hold our place in line." She scurried away, came back with a greeting card a few minutes later, and said to him, "OK. Your turn." He left and returned a short while later with a greeting card as well. Then they exchanged the cards with each other, opened them, and read them silently. After that, they kissed and said to each other "Happy Anniversary. Love you." I congratulated them and asked how long they had been married. He replied, “The past 58 years being married to this woman were the happiest 15 years of my life.” She grinned and gave him a little playful slap, then they picked up their prescriptions and walked away.
I bumped into them again in the greeting card aisle as I was picking up a Father’s Day card for my dad. I watched as they returned the cards they had “given to each other” to the shelf, which I thought was hilarious. And practical. And when you think about it…green. Then I wound up behind them in the checkout line, where the only things they bought were a small bottle of Jim Beam, two Cokes, and a pack of Marlboro Reds. The husband told me they were picking up a sandwich at Subway to split and were off to have an afternoon picnic along the lakeshore to celebrate. Then he winked at me and said, “And if we’re lucky, this whiskey will get us drunk and we’ll take advantage of each other.” And off they went. Absolute legends.
This was easily the best interaction I’ve had with strangers in at least 5 years. And one of the funniest. I am pretty sure I want my wife and I to have a relationship just like this when we “grow up.”
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2024.06.04 19:34 LuckyLoki08 "My Immortal" version of BG3 Fanfic, Ch. 5 [Durgetash My Immortal]

AN: shjt up fistz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!
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The next day I woke up in my four-post bed. I put on a black sleveless tunic that was all ripped around the end and a matching circlet with red blood drops and skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two daggers in my ears. I blood spray-painted my face with elven blood.
In the Elfsong, I ate some Count Strahdberry cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of gnome blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my rare cloth.
“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky white hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have a shirt anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Enver’s and there was no scar on his back anymore. He had a perfectly high cheekbones. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Neil Newbon. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like getting wet only I’m a male dragonborn so I didn’t get wet you sicko.
“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Astarion Ancunin, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.
“Well, I am a Bhaalspawn.” I confessed.
“Really?” he whimpered.
“Yeah.” I roared.
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Enver came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
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