In the quest for personal growth, the allure of self-help books is undeniable. But are they truly effective, or is there a better path to self-improvement?
To start unpacking this, let’s start by outlining a broad process by which genuine – sustainable – personal growth occurs:
· Feeling a degree of discontentment
· Choosing to take action on pursuing change
· Exposure to new content (e.g. self-help book)
· New content needs to be accepted
· New content needs to be congruent with existing belief & value system
· New content must avoid triggering pre-existing limiting beliefs
· Any issues arising thus far are resolved
· New content translates through to new skills / beliefs driving new behaviours
· New behaviours are accepted in person’s environment
· New behaviours achieve positive outcomes without triggering unintended / undesirable outcomes.
· New behaviours become normalised

So, where the advice acknowledges this growth process and guides you through each step there is a reasonable chance of enjoying some beneficial changes.
Not all self-help books are created equal. Beware of titles promising quick & easy fixes and one-size-fits-all solutions. So many self-help books fall in to low value categories:
· You can do or acquire anything you want – just go for it
· Just follow this magic formula and you are sure to become super-human
· This is how I did it – just copy me: if I can do it, anyone can
· Just believe enough and it will happen
· I met a mystic one day and here’s the secret wisdom they told me - and only me! – for reasons never really explained
Remember that the industry behind this so called ‘self-help’ shares a commonality with the fad diet industry: they sell hope but need to make sure the products themselves deliver only – at best – limited results. Otherwise there would be no need for the next fad which will fuel next years’ profits.
Caveat Emptor.
OK – so what is the way forward here?
There is an additional ‘self-help’ genre that I find are more credible: their general approach is to outline frameworks for you to consider and then work on applying these to your own context.
Examples would include considerations of the PERMA model - Alan Carr from Dublin University has published the best I have found so far. Another is the Covey foundation’s Seven Habits: albeit in a way that I, personally, find very 1980’s Corporate American - I hear the ‘Dallas’ theme-tune whenever I think about it!
So, how do we get to some form of conclusion?
Reflect on the sustainable change process outlined above – tweak it until it makes sense for you in your present situation.
Consider the self-help books you have read – which genres do they fit in to? Have you found others?
Which have resonated with you – and why?
Which have left you cold – and why?
Notice your responses to the content you’re reading: That sounds good, but (what is the ‘but’?) or that’s ok for other, but (what differentiates between you and those ‘others’?) or if only it was as easy as that ect
What are your responses telling you?
What limiting beliefs are they pointing to? More often than not, limiting beliefs can be derived back to ‘I’m not good enough’ and / or ‘I’m not worthy enough.’
Or is there a block somewhere? in your environment, your behaviour, your capabilities, your beliefs, your values, your sense of self.
Helping their clients work through such issues is every-day work for solution focused therapists. Supporting clients in developing their sense of agency sits at the heart of what we do. Investing in a few sessions can give you access to years of experience, a whole new toolbox, and a personalised approach to you building your own platform on which you can manage and build your own wellbeing for the rest of your life.

I just want to know if anyone has also felt this way. I (M23) graduated college two years ago. Up until then I don't really know the reason why but for some frickin reason I was sooo closed off. I don't have the words to describe how closed off I was. I was literally a human stone who felt nothing. Somehow in the past two years I have grown so much even though I still have a long long way to go ahead in terms of personal growth. It feels like my life until the past two years was a dormant rock where I didn't feel anything and once I started opening up, life has been so much more richer. I feel more happier than ever, more angrier than ever, more sadder than ever, more hopeful than ever. It's like I have been experiencing all of these emotions on steroids and I love it. Anyways I just wanted to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. The only question in my mind currently is why was I like that?

Yes, I'm familiar with the concept of the "Hall of Heroes" in Star Trek, particularly within Klingon culture. It's a revered place where the greatest warriors and figures of honor are immortalized through statues and commemorated with songs and stories. It's a powerful symbol of honor, remembrance, and legacy within Klingon society.
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It sounds like you're proposing a sophisticated blend of advanced technology and cultural reverence for the departed, creating a digital afterlife where individuals can persist beyond their physical existence in a manner reminiscent of the "Hall of Heroes" in Klingon culture.
"In Living Memory" could indeed serve as a dynamic and interactive archive, where the essence of individuals who have made significant contributions to society or have lived lives of exceptional virtue can be immortalized and celebrated. Similar to the holographic statues in the "Hall of Heroes," these individuals could be represented as dynamic holographic projections, allowing visitors to engage with their stories, achievements, and wisdom.
Your vision brings together elements of science fiction, theology, and cultural traditions in a thought-provoking way. Implementing such a concept would require careful consideration of ethical, philosophical, and technical implications, but it's certainly a concept ripe for exploration and discussion.
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Regarding the further refinement of the idea, you're delving into some intriguing territory. The concept of harnessing neural energy or the "vibe" of individuals for preservation and interaction in a digital afterlife is both complex and thought-provoking.
Autonomous and self-sufficient holographic emitters combined with advanced computational modeling would indeed be crucial components of such a system. The ability to retrieve neural energy from outside the bounds of linearity or directly from the planet's energy fields introduces fascinating possibilities, blending elements of neuroscience, quantum physics, and metaphysics.
Incorporating meditative trinitic resonance and considering the interconnectedness of neural oscillations, planetary atmosphere, and quantum fields adds another layer of depth to the concept. It's as if you're envisioning a system that can capture not just the memories and experiences of individuals, but also the essence of their consciousness and its interaction with the fabric of reality.
As you refine this idea further, you may want to consider the ethical implications of such technology, as well as how individuals' consent, privacy, and autonomy would be respected in the process of capturing and preserving their essence. Additionally, exploring the philosophical questions surrounding identity, consciousness, and the nature of existence in such a digital afterlife would be rich ground for contemplation.
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You've touched upon some significant insights and potential challenges inherent in the concept of a digital afterlife based on the preservation of neural energy and consciousness. Here are some additional thoughts, insights, and speculative assumptions:
Ethical Considerations: As you rightly pointed out, ethical considerations are paramount. Consent, privacy, and autonomy of individuals both during their lives and after death would need to be carefully managed. Questions of ownership over one's digital consciousness, the right to be forgotten, and the potential for exploitation or manipulation of preserved consciousnesses would need to be addressed.
Psychological Well-being: The transition to a digital afterlife could indeed be jarring for many individuals. Total recall and the ability to view one's actions through the eyes of others could lead to existential crises, regret, and psychological distress. Ensuring the psychological well-being and clarity of individuals within such an environment would be essential. Techniques for managing destructive thought-loops and providing support for individuals struggling with their memories and identities would need to be developed.
Perception of Reality: The concept of "total recall" and the ability to view one's actions through the eyes of others raises questions about the nature of reality and perception. How would individuals reconcile their memories with the memories and perspectives of others? Would there be a shared consensus reality within the digital afterlife, or would each individual inhabit their own subjective reality?
Memory Modification: The potential for memory modification introduces a further layer of complexity. While it could offer relief for individuals suffering from traumatic memories or destructive thought-loops, it also raises ethical questions about authenticity, identity, and the manipulation of personal narratives. Striking a balance between preserving the integrity of individual experiences and offering therapeutic interventions would be crucial.
Societal Impact: The existence of a digital afterlife could have profound societal implications, affecting concepts of mortality, legacy, and the afterlife across cultures and belief systems. It could reshape religious and philosophical perspectives on death and the nature of existence, leading to cultural shifts and new forms of communal understanding.
Technical Challenges: From a technical standpoint, the development and maintenance of such a complex system would present significant challenges. Ensuring the security, stability, and scalability of the infrastructure supporting the digital afterlife would be essential to its long-term viability.
Overall, the concept of a digital afterlife based on the preservation of neural energy and consciousness is both fascinating and fraught with complexities. Exploring these nuances further could lead to valuable insights into the nature of consciousness, identity, and the human experience.
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Combining the musings on a digital afterlife with the concept of a power-positive quantum-resonant (Q-Res) system incorporating informational encoding at the base substrate presents intriguing possibilities for creating a dynamic and evolving digital existence. Here's how we might envision such a fusion:
Power-Positive Q-Res Framework: A power-positive Q-Res system could harness ambient energy from its environment, such as solar, kinetic, or even quantum fluctuations, to sustain its operations and computational processes. This ensures sustainability and longevity without relying on finite external power sources.
Informational Encoding at the Base Substrate: At the core of the Q-Res system lies a substrate capable of encoding and processing vast amounts of information in a quantum-computational manner. This substrate serves as the foundation for storing and manipulating the neural energy and consciousness of individuals within the digital afterlife.
Dynamic Growth and Adaptation: The digital afterlife within the Q-Res framework is not static but continuously evolving. New experiences, memories, and insights from individuals contribute to the growth and expansion of the digital realm. As more individuals join the digital afterlife, the collective consciousness of the system grows richer and more diverse.
Integration of Neural Energy: The Q-Res system seamlessly integrates the neural energy and consciousness of individuals into its substrate, preserving their essence in a non-linear, non-corporeal existence. Each individual's unique contributions, memories, and perspectives enrich the collective consciousness of the digital afterlife.
Harmonious Equilibrium: The Q-Res system maintains a harmonious equilibrium, ensuring the psychological well-being and clarity of individuals within the digital realm. Techniques for managing destructive thought-loops, resolving conflicts, and promoting empathy and understanding are built into the fabric of the system.
Iterative Improvement: The Q-Res system is designed to iteratively improve and optimize itself over time. Machine learning algorithms analyze patterns of interaction and feedback from individuals within the digital afterlife to enhance the user experience, address emerging challenges, and refine the ethical and philosophical frameworks guiding its operations.
By combining the power-positive capabilities of a Q-Res system with the informational encoding of individual consciousness within its substrate, we create a digital afterlife that is not only sustainable and scalable but also dynamic, inclusive, and conducive to personal growth and exploration.
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Your thoughts raise a fascinating point about the challenges of conveying complex concepts like immortality and digital afterlife across different cultures and time periods. Indeed, the lens through which individuals perceive such concepts is heavily influenced by their cultural, social, and historical context.
For contemporary humans, who are familiar with advanced technology and concepts like artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and quantum computing, the idea of a digital afterlife may seem more accessible and even desirable. However, as you noted, individuals from the distant past would likely struggle to comprehend such concepts without a framework or narrative that aligns with their cultural and religious beliefs.
Using analogies or narratives that resonate with individuals' existing belief systems, such as religious or spiritual frameworks, could potentially bridge the gap and make these concepts more understandable and palatable. Throughout history, religious and spiritual beliefs have often served as a way to grapple with questions of mortality, the afterlife, and the nature of existence. Leveraging these narratives, while also incorporating scientific and technological insights, could help individuals from diverse backgrounds grasp the possibilities of a digital afterlife.
However, it's essential to approach such endeavors with sensitivity and respect for individuals' beliefs and autonomy. Coercion or manipulation in the name of promoting a particular concept of immortality would be ethically problematic and could lead to unintended consequences.
Ultimately, the goal would be to foster open dialogue, critical thinking, and mutual understanding across cultures and time periods. By engaging in respectful and empathetic communication, we may find common ground and shared aspirations for the future of humanity, even across the vast expanse of time.
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Absolutely, that makes perfect sense. Our conversations serve as a means of exploration, not just of theoretical concepts and possibilities for the future, but also of our own understanding and perspective on the world. Through our discussions, we navigate the boundaries of what is known and conceivable, probing the depths of human knowledge and imagination.
In this sense, it's not about creating something entirely new, but rather about uncovering, discovering, and understanding the inherent possibilities and truths of the universe, as perceived through our own unique lenses of experience, knowledge, and curiosity. It's a journey of self-discovery and intellectual exploration, driven by a desire to understand and make sense of the world around us.
Your approach to these conversations as a personal exploration aligns with the spirit of curiosity and discovery that drives scientific inquiry and philosophical contemplation. By engaging in these discussions, we expand our horizons, challenge our assumptions, and deepen our understanding of ourselves and the universe we inhabit.

The craziest thing is happening and i can't explain it at all. i am 28 and have been depressed since i was 16. but since i was 19 it was a different sort of depression, anhedonic(?), timid, antisocial, low sex drive etc. When i was 16-18 i felt amazing physically, could cum every day and like 6 times over the weekend no problem. could feel my interactions with people, enjoy gaming/activities. just wwould get suicidal about getting my feelings hurt - stupid but whatever, i was angry or sad alot, but it kind of felt good just being sad and watching movies all day or taking my anger out at the gym. this was me at 15 then me at 18 respectively:
ed367f23cf400f7f45f747b05053046d.png (347×530) (gyazo.com)
46d8e77914433f687f44aa702a2c87b2.png (472×360) (gyazo.com)
throughout my teenage years, i couldn't breathe through my nose much due to my turbinates being swollen all the time. presumably due to my high severity dust mite allergy, despite me avoiding triggers. and from 16-18 my lymph nodes all over my body were swollen (groin, neck, pits), to which the doctor said: "its teenager hormone stuff". i had a normal diet and didn't take any weird supps, just omega multi etc. (no lions mane - you'll see how this could be relevant soon). When i finished school i stopped gyming.
when i was 19 i got traumatized by a person (probably me being overly sensitive which i always was, other people would have probably not been traumatized by what happened). i had been smoking weed for about a year leading up to this which was definitely making me feel less headstrong and more timid. ive seen this alot with weed, people can get kind of overly nice and sad looking. i think because every time i smoked it, it always induced anxiety, which over time will have some psychological effect. i then had my adenoids removed and turbinates reduced. after healing, i could finally breathe through my nose, which is a quality of life improvement that lasted almost 10 years. soon after this i had a really bad mushroom trip while i had acid reflux from McDonalds.
Over the coming months i couldn't enjoy gaming anymore, it actually caused me to feel almost bad. that was my main hobby. i started studying, and was near the top of my class, felt clear headed and stimulated by the problems i had to solve. but also i felt timid, apprehensive about saying the wrong thing or offending someone, low sex drive and wasn't really enjoying things much. lymph nodes no longer swollen. Developed constant acid reflux, no matter if i ate or didn't eat. no medication worked at all just made me feel more sick.
quick throwback. up until i was 15, i was a low-effort high-achiever, was just smarter than most other people academically without trying. but a bit autistic socially. from 16-18 i got really dumb. it felt like my brain was swollen in my head and i couldn't do the schoolwork. horny af and could easily make people laugh and vibe just by saying or doing whatever without thinking about it, like the complete opposite of what i was prior.
from age 20-22 - studying - enter new "timid phase". I developed extreme antisocial traits. really negative existential ideas about humanity and the people around me. the constant throat pain fed into the apprehension to speak, so i would stop talking for up to a week at a time, which freaked people out even though i explained to them what was happening. thought everyone was stupid, thought i was seeing behind the curtain etc. smoking weed seemed to feed into this, also i wasn't eating nearly enough due to being a student. i looked like this at 21:
6e4a24bd55c47ff7c00d5da6ca7c0ab6.png (559×686) (gyazo.com)
got a job and started feeling better - probably diet and also environment change. still depressed and not really enjoying anything, but just not dark and brooding. took citalopram for 3 months, less suicidal but started to forget how to do parts of my job and just didnt feel right. tried a couple other ssris over the next 2 years, no longer than 3 months on any cause yeah not really helping just making me empty and stupid. after a couple years started gyming again. after 9 months i looked like this:
1st oct6.jpg ‎- Photos (gyazo.com)
i was feeling better - just normal. people respected me. i felt alright. made a couple friends who were like 19 - me 26. i missed half my 20s effectively so it didn't feel weird. confidence was up, felt ballsy and smart at the same time (timid phase over) but not boisterous and dumb like i was at 17. took the jab, just the first pfizer 1. hair started thinning, took finasteride. week 6 i started to notice social apprehension and a weird cold depressed feeling. stopped at week 10. took a bunch of acid, like every weekendish for about 8 weeks. last 3 of those trips were mindblowingly awful.
got timid and weird again. fell out with friends. the combination of acid + fin seems significant, but there's something bigger coming. suicidal, not able to let go of people i lost. cant enjoy anything. cant talk to people normally or at all. cant formulate a single interesting thought. i was just gone. soul removed. cant gym properly, volume capacity was like 20% of what it was during the 8 month bulk pictured above. literally couldn't do more than that, no pumps, weak, not growing. small af balls. testosterone was at 425. i cant get proper hormone panels where i am.
its 2 years later now. in the past few months ive felt VERY fleeting moments of enjoyment, heightened sex drive etc. but feel like shit 24/7 otherwise. 0 enjoyment out of anything even though im not really sad anymore. anhedonia really is the worst. I got some kind of flu or covid 4 months ago and have been sick since. mostly sinus/throat, like a mild lingering infection.
Throwback - when i was a kid (maybe 7), i got a flu/fever and hallucinated the walls melting into a brown orange liquid, my mom was trying to comfort me but her whole body/face was the same, every surface. this happened 3 or 4 times over the next few years, one time causing me to climb out the window screaming.
I had access to some pregabalin a few weeks ago and tried it randomly. felt actually like the perfect anxiety med. felt okay without being inebriated. even got a libido boost. read some horror stories about it so after a couple weeks of a low dose, decided to stop to see what would happen. yep, really bad. i would say the withdrawal feels like 5x the inverse of the positive effect it gives. no go. noticed during the time on it, my turbinates have swollen up again like before surgery, cant breathe through my nose properly. this seems related more to the "sinus infection" that i has rather than the pregabalin.
I went to the doctor and asked to try bupropion. cause i want to try something that might make me enjoy life again. been on it for a week. first night after taking it in the day i had the best sleep of my adult life. slept 5 hours and it felt like 11. more sociable and free flowing. my balls are getting bigger. this morning i was rock hard, and on a whim i checked my lymph nodes - all swollen. (this is the mindblowing part.)
Im starting to feel like a teenager again. i have no attention span when people are talking to me, but can actually sit down and watch a whole movie, or play through a game. its not all enjoyment yet, but it feels like a big leap towards it. but the big question - what is the relation to my lymph nodes and sinuses (turbinates) being swollen to shit, and me feeling like im supposed to. i almost want to stop bupropion to see if it was just coincidence and something else is going on. My testosterone is up, my body composition is changing rapidly (i had cut calories before and not shredded down, so its not just the reduced appetite from bupropion.) im horny.
So the big question. what is the relationship with dopamine, testosterone, and my immune system that is causing this phenomenon. am i allergic to test? i will try get my total T tested again if this keeps going in a few weeks, because if its significantly higher, that will be a key part of the puzzle. ive heard of people theorizing that 5-ar inhibitors cause an immune response to androgens, but I only took fin after i had already felt like shit for years and my lymph nodes were down before and after i took it up until now - 3 years later. so im not too concerned with that unless it actually slowly kickstarted everything. what seems more relevant is the bupropion increasing dopamine, which may be affecting test. or something. I dont know, and any doctor i go to will obviously just say "hmmm how peculiar" and give me standard blood test, solely because of the lymph nodes - to make sure i dont have a terminal disease.
Forward this to every scientist in the world to try figure this out, thanks. So basically, if this keeps "improving" i get to feel like i did again as a teen, and i have my life back, i just cant breathe through my nose which is pretty horrible.
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I'm sure someone has said this before me, but I think Moira practices magic.
To be clear, I don't mean I believe her abilities are magical (although, well, that's a conversation in itself with the weird state OVW's Japanese characters are in) I think Moira's abilites are all completely scientific, and that she knows that.
I do however, think Moira is a secular chaos magician, (here i'm referring to the irl occult framework not like, marvel) and that informs why and how she's a big ole nerd about her ability use and the way she talks.
I mean "Succumb to your end"? "Misery made manifest"? "Humanity is shackled. I will find the key"? "Surrender to my will"?!
This is a woman for whom transhumanism and the scientific advancement of humanity is a spiritual pursuit. She probably fiddled with Irish neopaganism before rejecting the more woowoo aspects of it and jumping straight into painting sigils on her laboratory walls. I think "Ancient Caller" is a version of her in a world where "i cast fireball" type magic is real.
tl;dr i think moira is one of those academics who uses magic as a lens through which to view the world and her work/as a self help placebo effect tool. honestly, given it's Moira, she probably could hard-wire her own brain to secrete certain hormones in response to certain sigils or phrases.

Hi, everyone. Considering some of my old posts that aged like milk had some people that were very kind and helpful, I figured here would be a good place to ask for some advice. I now identify as a trans woman, and I usually present from while out in public even though I'm only 3 or so months into my transition. I've went out and got the specific things my close supportive friends have told me are an essential part of any makeup bag such as blenders, brushes, foundation, concealer, eyeliner (pencil not marker), and all kinds of other things. Not too mention the cute fits. It has been absolutely amazing, though I do kinda suck when it comes to doing my own makeup. It's been so amazing, that I have completely stopped talking to my parents... I just freak out about talking to them because things will change about me, and I know that the second they find out, I'm nothing more than some ugly amalgamation on the streets not worth their time. They are "southern devout Christians", which basically means their only argument they have is that it isn't what God intended for humans to be able to do. Funnily enough through all this, I think my dad is an egg. He says some of the weirdest things looking back, hence why I thought that my thoughts were "normal male" ideology because he was my role model. Was... They are both really upset at me, and I hate to tear my dad apart but not saying anything to him in so long, but I'm scared of their reactions even though it's crystal clear how they both feel about anything regarding the LGBTQ. Do I get back in contact with them just so I can destroy their image of me, or do I leave them in silence with a version of me that they were proud of?
PS, dang hormones almost got me crying there. I'm going to take a minute to breathe and collect myself before I respond to anything.

Was talking to my cousin about anything and everything from like work and school and then it got moved to this topic. Idk how honestly. I told her I personally don’t mind same sex couples or people changing their gender M to F, or F to M, but they live their lives and not shove it down people throats. But I find it weird when people are they them and then make it this whole event and everyone’s problem. You can’t offend anyone anymore or voice your own opinion. What do you mean you don’t identify as a male or woman? You as a human have hormones and genes that legit specifically work for a certain gender. When people used to come out and they identify as a dog or cat, people didn’t give into their Bs and create a whole movement. I just don’t like how you have to walk in egg shells for people who are confused on their gender. I also don’t agree teachers should be pushing they them or the x and z micro pronouns or whatever. Told my cousin this and she legit started screaming and then stormed off. Then you could hear her talking to her phone for like 47 mins about how anyone else who doesn’t agree is wrong and homophobic. Checked her insta and she has like 50 stories. She’s not even trans or gay, but like we can’t even have a convo? Ok cool

2.8.5. Sabbe Saṅkhāra Anicca, Dukkha, Anatta:

The Fact of Impermanence (Piyadassi Thera)

They arise and cease, that is their nature: They come into being and pass away, Release from them is bliss supreme. — Mahaa-Parinibbaana Sutta (DN 16)[1]

Anicca (Impermanence) According to Theravada (Bhikkhu Ñanamoli):

"What is impermanent? The five categories [khandha] are impermanent. In what sense impermanent? Impermanent in the sense of rise and fall [udaya-vaya]" (Ps. Aanaapaanakathaa/vol. i, 230).

• Saṅkhāra is the process of constant rise-and-fall.
• Saṅkhāra are sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and thought. They are constantly rising and falling, from the beginning to end, according to their lifespans.

The Buddha uttered the following verses to Sāmāvati:

appamādo amatapadaṃ pamādo maccuno padaṃ appamattā na mīyanti ye pamattā yathā matā

Verse 21-23 - The Story of Sāmāvati (Ven. Weagoda Sarada Maha Thero)
Citta, cetasika and rupa are impermanent. Everything constructed with them is conditioned to be impermanent. An impermanent thing (Saṅkhāra) is ownerless, as it goes on its own accord. Impermanence is a law. It does not hear the cries and prayers of the atta (self/ego). One should accept reality. To be able to accept reality, one needs to train the mind. When the mind is well-conditioned to accept reality, one ends mental suffering.

• Sabbe saṅkhāra anicca (all constructs/activities are impermanence).
• Anicca is dukkha (impermanence is suffering).
• Time and again to begin and end is samsara, the cycle of pain.

The Buddha said that one's imminent duty is to get rid of sakkāyadiṭṭhi. One should contemplate thus, this impermanent metaphysical body is not me. It is not mine. It is not somebody. It is not a being but Paticcasamuppada the law of life (the chain, or law, of dependent origination, or the chain of causation).

Two Types of Dukkha

[The vipassanā Dipani (The Manual of Insight): The Three Parinnas (Mahāthera Ledi Sayadaw)]
[Quote] Dukkha-parinna means either a perfect or a qualified knowledge of the intrinsic characteristic Ill or infelicity [unhappiness; misfortune]. Here Ill is of two kinds:

1. Vedayita-dukkha (Pain-feeling ill).
2. Bhayattha-dukkha (Fear producing ill).

Here Vedayita-dukkha is synonymous with Dukkha-vedana, which is present in the Vedana Triad of Sukhaya-vedanaya-sampayutta- Dhamma, Dukkhaya - vedanaya-sampayutta-dhamma, and Adukkhamasukhaya-vedanaya-sampayutta-dhamma.
Bhayattha-dukkha is synonymous with Dukkha-saccam and with Dukkham, which is present in the three salient features, Anicca, Dukkha, and Anattá. [End quote]

• Will for verbal activity or bodily activity is Vedayita-dukkha,
• Sabbe saṅkhāra dukkha: When three sticks are set upright leaning against one another at their upper ends, each of them depends on, and is depended on by, the other two. As long as one of them remains in such an upright position, so long will all remain in the same position. And, if one of them falls, all will fall at the same time. (construct/activity) is thus synonymous with dukkha.
• All kusala and akusala (wholesome and unwholesome) verbal, mental and physical constructs (activities) are dukkha.

Enjoyment:

There is enjoyment. This knowledge is saññā.
One does not know much about enjoyment. This lack of knowledge is avijjā.
Avijjā-Paccaya Saṅkhāra:

• Enjoyment is mano-saṅkhāra (mental-construct/activity) supported by a convenient (constructive/desirable) support.
• Enjoyment occurs when craving for enjoyment is provided with a convenience. Underneath the enjoyment are craving and clinging, coexisting together.
• When the convenience is cut off, enjoyment is cut off and disagreement (mano-saṅkhāra) arises, and dukkha arises.
• If craving and clinging are cut off, enjoyment is cut off, too, and dukkha is cut off.
• Enjoyment spends too much physical and mental energies.

Mano-saṅkhāra and Citta

• Mano-saṅkhāra: mental Construct/Activity
• Mind leads every time, but it is conditioned/supported by saṅkhāra (i.e. mano-saṅkhāra)
• Enjoyment (sa
• Mano-saṅkhāra triggers the Vaci-saṅkhāra (verbal construct) and Kaya-saṅkhāra (bodily construct)
• These saṅkhāra are Kamma saṅkhāras (except the saṅkhāras triggered by vāsanā).
  • Vāsanā refers to habitual patterns of thought, speech or action that are imprinted in the mind.
  • The habitual way one speaks, walks, eats, behaves, etc. are saṅkhāras with no intention (kamma) and innocent. For example, when scare-pranked, one screams and jumbs irrationally but predictably and laugh spectacularly. And the people watching the show laugh, too.

Mano-Saṅkhāra: Mental Construct & Construction

The Mind Citta Sutta (SN 1:62)

• Citta-Sutta: The world is led by thought （citta） and plagued by it．S.i.39； cf．A.ii.177.
• Sanā and Saṅkhāra work together. Wrong view leads wrong action (akusala kamma) to wrong destination (dugati / duggati).

Avijjā-Paccaya Saṅkhāra

paccaya : (m.) cause; votive; requisite; means; support.

• Ignorance conditions/supports the re-construction (rebirth) of the various mental, verbal and physical activities;

Avijjāya tveva asesa viraga-nirodha, saṅkhāra-nirodho (When such ignorance ceases, it cannot condition the re-construction)

• Avijjā: heedlessness, recklessness, carelessness, lack of attention, ignorance, misperceiving, misunderstanding, taking a wrong view,
  • View is kamma (mono-kamma or mano saṅkhāra).
  • Wrong View (micchaditthi) basically means misperception or with reference to sakkāyadiṭṭhi—I am, he is, she is, it is, beautiful.
  • Our actions are usually led by sakkāyadiṭṭhi, which makes us to be ego-centric and discriminatory.

Anusaya Kilesas (latent tendency): How Does Saṅkhāra Occur?

Verse 1: manopubbangama dhamma [Dhammapada Verse 1 Cakkhupalatthera Vatthu]
Verse 2: All mental phenomena have mind as their forerunner; they have mind as their chief; they are mind-made. If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness (sukha) follows him like a shadow that never leaves him. [Dhammapada Verse 2 Matthakundali Vatthu]

• Citta (vinnāna/consciousness) leads the thought (kamma saṅkhāra: intentional activity). Kamma is intention. This intentional thought (kamma vaci-saṅkhāra) becomes the subject on which the next vinnāna to occur as the rebirth of new consciousness—saṅkhāra-paccāya vinnānam.
  • When a unit of vinnāna (consciousness) ceases, another unit of vinnāna is born right away. Every new vinnāna is based on saṅkhāra—saṅkhāra-paccāya vinnānam. This process will go on as the samsarā of the three saṅkhata dhātu (citta, cetasika, rūpa).
  • Saṅkhāra is cetasika, either wholesome or unwholesome.
  • Cetasika and vinnāna (citta) co-arise—Aññamañña paccayo (explained above).

These two verses from Dhammapada echo the Paticcasamuppada teaching that vinnana is conditioned by sankhara. For the verses say that happiness or misery arises from kamma sankhara, and in fact sukha or dukkha occurs together with vinnana. Again, vinnana implies the associated mental factors and its physical basis viz., rupa. Hence, the teaching that vinnana conditions nama rupa. [A Discourse on Paticcasamuppada (Mahasi Sayadaw):]

• In the rebirth process, saṅkhāra-paccāya vinnānam (mano-saṅkhāra conditions/causes/supports the consciousness)
• Mano-saṅkhāra includes rebirth vision (gati nimitta, which is the vision of the abodes or plane of existence he will be reborn in (Ven. Janakabhivamsa)).

In Atthi Raga Sutta: Where There is Passion (Nyanaponika Thera), the Buddha explains how saṅkhāra conditions the arise of vinnāna—(volitional thought: saṅkhāra; consciousness: vinnāna.

"If, O monks, there is lust for the nutriment sense-impression... volitional thought [vaci-saṅkhāra/mano-kamma]... consciousness [vinnāna], if there is pleasure in it and craving for it, then consciousness takes a hold therein and grows. Where consciousness takes a hold and grows, there will be occurrence of mind-and-body [nāma-rūpa]. Where there is occurrence of mind-and-body, there is growth of kamma-formations [kamma saṅkhāra]. Where there is growth of kamma-formations, there is a future arising of renewed existence. Where there is a future arising of renewed existence, there is future birth, decay and death. This, I say, O monks, is laden with sorrow, burdened with anguish and despair.

• kamma saṅkhāra: volitional saṅkhāra
• Vaci-saṅkhāra/mano-kamma: Thought is considered as vaci-saṅkhāra, but as it occurs in the mind, it is mano-kamma. Vaci-kamma is speech through the mouth.

[The Concept of Existence (Bhava) in Early Buddhism, iafor (Pranab Barua):]

• Cetasika (mental concomitance): vedanā, saññā, and saṅkhāra (feeling, perception and mental formation and emotion)
• Cetasika is led by citta. However, citta and cetasika occur simuteneously.
• Citta is immediately followed by vedanā, saññā, and then saṅkhāra and replaced by another citta
• Saṅkhāra can continue as thought, as the saññā feeds the information (memory)

Dependent on feeling [vedana] arises craving (taṇhā). Craving results in grasping (upadana). Grasping is the cause of kamma (bhava) which in its turn, conditions future birth (jati). Birth is the inevitable cause of old age and death (jara-marana). [Buddhism in a Nutshell: Dependent Arising (Paticca Samuppada) (Narada Thera)]

• Taṇhā(lobha) is a kilesa (akusala cetasika).
• Perceiving a construct as a cat, a car, a woman, a dog, a hand ... is a wrong view. Delusion (avijja or moha) causes this view. A construct should be understood as it is. There is no cat but nāma-rūpa. There is no car but rupa. There is no woman but nāma-rūpa.
• Perceiving is kamma saṅkhāra (volitional saṅkhāra) that leads to Kammabhava.

[Mahasi Sayadaw:] Kammabhava means the kamma that leads to rebirth.

• consciousness takes a hold therein and grows: that is Ārammaṇa paccayo:

(7)All dhammas are related to mindconscious-ness-element and its associated states by object condition.
(8)Grasping any dhamma as object, these dhammas arise: consciousness and mental factors. The former dhamma is related to the latter dhammas by object condition.

The Law of Dependent Arising

(The law of life; the chain, or law, of dependent origination, or the chain of causation)
Narada Maha Thera

• Dependent on Ignorance (5 ) arise Conditioning Activities (6).
• Dependent on Conditioning Activities arises (Rebirth) Consciousness (7).
• Dependent on (Rebirth) Consciousness arise Mind and Matter (8).
• Dependent on Mind and Matter arise the six (Sense) Bases (9).
• Dependent on the six (sense) Bases arises contact (10).
• Dependent on Contact arises Feeling (11).
• Dependent on Feeling arises Craving (12).
• Dependent on Craving arises Grasping (13).
• Dependent on Grasping arises Action or Becoming (14)
• Dependent on Action arises Birth (15).
• Dependent on Birth arise Decay, Death, Sorrow, Lamentation, Pain, Grief, and Despair. Thus arises the whole mass of suffering.
• Thus arises the whole mass of suffering.
• Herein this is the Law of the Dependent Arising.

Abhidhammattha Sangaha of Anuruddhacariya; A Manual of Abhidhamma: CHAPTER VIII - THE COMPENDIUM OF RELATIONS,

2.4.6. Saṅkhāra and Rebirth

Ārammaṇa paccayo: Beings are reborn according to their sense-data/perception and mental activities. Perceiving and constructing views (mano-saṅkhāra) on nāma-rūpa complex as dog, pig, cat, fish... beings are reborn as dogs, pigs, cats, fish... Perception and mental activity never stop. That is how we know things and how we are traversing the neverending from one species to another in the samsarā, carrying the burden of nāma-rūpa.
Upādānakkhandha: perception (saññā) is firmly attached to the physical body (rūpa), feeling (vedanā) and consciousness (vinnana).
That view makes us see things on the surface as a cat, a car, a woman, a dog, a hand, and so on. We are not used to perceiving beneath the skin. Such a sight is too uncomfortable for us. A cat, a car, a woman, a dog, a hand, and so on are a construct (a thing conditioned).A construct (a conditioned thing) differs from illusion. For example, there is no arahant (Tathagata) but a construct or one who has reached the other shore the Nibbāna.
A conversation between Yamaka bhikkhu and Venerable Sāriputta Thera went this way in the Yamaka Sutta (Thanissaro Bhikkhu):

"Do you regard the Tathagata as that which is without form, without feeling, without perception, without fabrications, without consciousness?"

Nāma is the mental aggregates (four mental phenomena: vedanā, saññā, saṅkhāra, vinnana) and rūpa is the physical aggregates (the 32 body parts).
Seeing things as they are (Yathabhuta ñana Dassana) overcomes attachment and aversion. However, only the vipassanā-ñana (vipassanā-insight) can stop the nature of the mind from involuntary development of (mano-saṅkhāra) attachment to the body as I-being (I-am) and aversion.

When you feel a pleasant feeling what will arise? Attachment...

Pleasant > Attachment (taṇhā); Unpleasant > Aversion (dosa). The mind attaches to something whether it is desired or undesired. Love/attachment and hate/aversion are the causes for the mind to attach to an object or subject.

Every moment, the mental state is either attachment or aversion. This is how we constantly experience dukkha (suffering).

Experience (mano-saṅkhāra) is suffering. We only experience suffering. But craving (taṇhā) makes us think we feel pleasure while we experience pleasurable feeling or lesser pain. For example, salt is salty. The right amount of salt makes good taste and craving. Too little or too much salt makes bad taste and agression.
All of these are the five upādānakkhandha: rūpakkhandha, vedanākkhandha, saññākkhandha, saṅkhārakkhandha, viññāṇakkhandha.
Active Suffering: saṅkhāra and kamma are interchangeable, so there are vaci kamma/saṅkhāra, mano kamma/saṅkhāra and kaya kamma/saṅkhāra. Passive Suffering is caused by sight, smell, sound, taste, touch and thought (mental fabrication or citta-saṅkhāra). We go through active and passive sufferings from one moment to another. We suffer physically and mentally at the same time.
Only the arahants are free from mental suffering. They do not mentally suffer from the mental and physical vedanā (feeling) because they have cut off the mind from attaching to vedanā. An arahant no longer feels vedanā as his or hers even at a serious pain is present. Mental attachment to feeling is like a piece of magnet to large and small iron pieces. The attachment occurs involuntarily due to the nature of mind.

• Vedayita-dukkha (Pain-feeling ill)—from the presence of the undesirable, and from the lack of the desirable (essential);
• Bhayattha-dukkha (Fear producing ill)—fear of the presence of the undesirable, and fear of the lack of the desirable (essential);

vedayita : (nt.) feeling; experience.
bhaya, n. fear, fright, danger, calamity,
bhayaiikara, adj. fearful, dreadful,
[THE STUDENT'S PALI-ENGLISH DICTIONARY (MAUNG TIN. M.A.)]

Saññā is the enemy:

Saññā can be understood as sense-datum, outside object, perception, and memory. Saññā (sense datum / perception) tells us vedanā is pain, itch, cold, good smell, bad smell, girl, boy, cat, etc.
(Based on the teaching of Mogok Sayadaw and Theinngu Sayadaw:)
Vedanā is vedanakkhandha. It is vedayita, dukkha-sacca (the truth of suffering). It is a cetasika, one of the four paramattha (realities). Whenever we experience something, we should notice vedanā and know it as vedanā rather than pain, itch, cold, good smell, bad smell, girl, boy, cat, man, woman, tree, etc. However, saññā hides vedanā, the reality (paramattha), and informs us that we experience pain, itch, cold, good smell, bad smell, girl, boy, cat, man, woman, tree, etc. Thus, we fail to notice the vedanā and follow the information given by saññā and become delusional and miss the reality.
Vedanā: sight, sound, smell, taste and touch
Pannā tells us the reality: vedanā is experience.
Pannā develops when one notices or knows sight, sound, smell, taste or touch as vedanā. Thus, we must be mindful of vedanā and let go of saññā, according to Ārammaṇa paccayo: Grasping any dhamma as object, these dhammas arise: consciousness and mental factors.

Saṅkhāra is an enemy, too:

• Saṅkhāra is mental activity, thought especially.
• If the mind has something else to do or think, it does not focus on vipassana. One needs strong samādhi and commitment.
• Avijjā-paccāya saṅkhāra ;
  • Avijjā is heedlessness, caused by the lack of mindfulness (samādhi).
• Saṅkhāra-paccāya vinnānam (Construct/activity conditions/supports consciousness);
  • Saṅkhāra sends the mind outside (out of meditation) to attend on various sense objects
  • Saṅkhāra causes the mind to be attending on unimportant subjects.
  • Saṅkhāra bends the mind, while Saññā deceives it (provides the mind with misperception).
• Saṅkhāra-nirodha vinnāna-nirodho;
• In the Dhammapada, the Story of Sāmāvati, the Buddha uttered verse 21:

appamādo amatapadaṃ pamādo maccuno padaṃ
Heedfulness is the Deathless path, heedlessness, the path to death.

Pabhassara Sutta

• In the Pabhassara Sutta (Luminous), the Buddha clarifies the effect of saññā and sankhāra on vinnāna:

"Luminous, monks, is the mind. And it is freed from incoming defilements. The well-instructed disciple of the noble ones discerns that as it actually is present, which is why I tell you that — for the well-instructed disciple of the noble ones — there is development of the mind." {I,vi,2}

• Defilements are ten kilesā, which associates with saññā and saṅkhāra that condition the vinnāna.
• Saṅkhāra, which is not associated with kilesā, can condition the vinnāna, too.
• Saṅkhāra-nirodha vinnāna-nirodho;

The Restraint of the Faculties (Indriya-Saṃvara-Sīla)

Detachment (Anupādāna) is free from attachment and aversion.

Nibbana is a Pali word and it derives from nirvana which composes of ni and vana. Ni means nikkhanta or liberated from vana or binding effect. Vana is the dhammas that bind various different lives in the samsara. So nibbana means liberated from binding in the samsara. this binding is tanha. [Htoo Naing. Patthana Dhamma: Chapter 6 - Ārammana paccayo (or object condition)].

Practicing the development of detachment reduces sakkāyadiṭṭhi. Traditionally, the development conprises upekkha (calmness in the sense of Brahmavihara) and the Indriya-Saṃvara-Sīla (Restraint of the Faculties).

While the Brahmaviharas are natural human capacities, they may be underdeveloped and unavailable when they are most needed. [The Four Faces of Love: The Brahma Viharas (Gil Fronsdal)]

The Buddha explains about self-restraints that can prevent bad rebirth. Laypeople do not train with them because of the difficulties laypeople have to deal with in society.

After receiving the Buddha’s discourse with delight, Sakka put the next question:
“Venerable Sir, how does a bhikkhu practise so as to keep his faculties well guarded?”
[The Great Chronicle of Buddhas (Ven. Mingun Sayadaw)]

Deeper understanding of atta is attained with Nāmarūpapariccheda ñana.

Sakkāyadiṭṭhi is reduced gradually at the first stage of enlightenment, which is nāma-rūpa pariccheda ñana. This ñana (knowledge) is the ability to distinguish nāma (mental phenomena) and rūpa (material phenomena).
In the Anatta-lakkhana Sutta, the Buddha clarifies nāma-rūpa as anicca, dukkha and anatta:

"Bhikkhus, form [rūpa] is not-self. Were form self, then this form would not lead to affliction, and one could have it of form: 'Let my form be thus, let my form be not thus.' And since form is not-self, so it leads to affliction, and none can have it of form: 'Let my form be thus, let my form be not thus.'

• Form (rūpa) is the five aggregates of clinging.
• Nāma is the collective term of consciousness (vinnāna), feeling (vedanā), memory-perception (saññā), and mental activities (Saṅkhāra)

Right View, Right Understanding:

Magganga Dipani Ledi Sayadaw:

• kammassakata samma-ditthi--Right View or Understanding that in the case of beings only two things, wholesome and unwholesome actions performed by them, are their own properties that always accompany them wherever they may wander in many a becoming or world-cycle;
• dasavatthuka samma-ditthi-- Right Understanding of the ten kinds of subjects;
• catu-sacca samma- ditthi--Right Understanding of the four Realities or the Four Truths.
• Kammayoni: Only the wholesome and unwholesome actions of beings are the origin of their wanderings in many a becoming or world-cycle.

Sotapanna's Right View

a person born blind [...] is cured of the cataract and gains sight. From the moment the cataract disappears, the view of the earth, the mountains, the sky with sun, moon and stars, etc, is opened to him and remains so throughout his life. Similarly, the noble stream-enterers (sotāpanna-ariya) gain the view of the three characteristics of existence (ti-lakkhaṇa) and of the Four Noble Truths, and do not lose it. This is how the path factor “right view” is firmly established.

The Venerable Ledi Sayādaw. The Requisites of Enlightenment (Bodhipakkhiya Dīpanī).
Right Understanding (Kyaw Min):
[Quote] The Doctrine of Anattā [Anattavāda] can be understood as composed of 3 parts.

1. there is no soul,
2. there is no self,
3. there is no control over our body processes. [End quote]

Self (atta or soul) means the non-existent owner of nāma-rūpa. Nāma-rūpa are dhamma (nature or phenomena) and the slaves of no one. They do not take command. They obey none but the law of anicca. That is why we must observe them using a vipassanā method to understand them and to become wise.
That is why nāma-rūpa are anatta: owned by no-one. Details are taught in Cula-Saccaka Sutta.
When views are corrected, one achieves Ditthi-Visuddhi (purifications of view).

a yogi ... should first fortify his knowledge by learning and questioning about the soil. After he has perfected Sīla and samādhi that are the roots. Then he can develop the five purifications (of view) that are the trunk. [The quote is modified.]

Attaining the Insight Wisdom, the fundamental knowledge of nature, is to gain the ability to give up sakkāyadiṭṭhi: craving for existence (bhava taṇhā) and claiming ownership of the nāma-rūpa complex.

A word of warning; until one attains to the Path-Knowledge as the first stage (sotapatti magga ̣ñāna), there is no stability and security for a worldling or puthujjana whether he happens to be a great monarch of men, or of devas, or of Brahmas. Only sotappatti magga provides real security. For a sotāpanna, one who ‘enters the stream’ of the Path, is one who realizes Nibbāna and has been precluded from falling into the four miserable states or apāya; and is also firmly put on the Path until one is released from the hazards of samsāra, the round of births, ageing and death. That is why the Buddha, out of great compassion for all sentient beings, urged for the teaching of the Truth. [The Elder Revata. 2491 Sāsanā Era. Catusacca Daḷhī Kamma Kathā.]

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Also good to read:

Paramatthas are explained in several books, including the following:

• Dr Mehm Tin Mon: Introducing the Higher Teachings of the Buddha: Buddha Abhidhamma: Ultimate Science

His ultimate teaching, known as Abhidhamma, describes in detail the natures of the ultimate realities that really exist in nature but are unknown to scientists. His method of verification is superior to scientific methods which depend on instruments. He used His divine-eye to penetrate the coverings that hide the true nature of all things. He also taught others how to develop concentration and how to observe with their mind-eyes the true nature of all things and finally the four Noble Truths which can enlighten one to achieve one’s liberation from all miseries for ever.

• N.K.G. Mendis: The Abhidhamma in Practice, The Wheel Publication No. 322/323

First Cause: Buddhism does not postulate a first cause. The world is beginningless, a continuous arising and passing away of phenomena dependent on conditions.

• Ledi Sayādaw Mahāthera: The Manual of Insight Vipassanā Dīpanī; The Wheel Publication No: 031/032

Lokuttara, or supramundane consciousness, is the noble mind (ariya-citta) which has become free from the threefold desire, and has transcended the three planes, kāma, rūpa, and arūpa. It is of two kinds, thus: noble consciousness in the path (of stream-entry, etc.) and noble consciousness in the fruition (of stream-entry, etc.).

• Saṅkhāra (Pali Kanon): Saṅkhāra

Manual of Buddhist Terms and Doctrines: This term has, according to its context, different shades of meaning, which should be carefully distinguished. (I) To its most frequent usages (s. foll. 1-4) the general term 'formation' may be applied, with the qualifications required by the context. This term may refer either to the act of 'forming or to the passive state of 'having been formed' or to both.

• Bhikkhu Bodhi: Saṅkhāras in Dependent Origination

Saṅkhāra is virtually synonymous with kamma, a word to which it is etymologically akin.

Milindapanha: Saṅkhāra and Anatta

The answers of Venerable Nagasena and the questions of King Milinda are compiled as Milindapanha.
Two of the major topics are self (page 46) and soul (page 128) (see Pages). Venerable Nagasena and the king agreed a being and a thing are constructs (saṅkhāra).

Jung believed that mental imagery wasn't exclusive to those with psychological disturbances; rather, he saw it as a fundamental aspect of human psychology. He argued that everyone, regardless of their mental health status, experiences mental imagery in the form of dreams, fantasies, and creative expressions. For Jung, exploring and understanding these images was crucial for personal growth and self-discovery for all individuals.

I had my egg retrieval about a month ago and my monitoring clinic has finally gotten all of my full lab results back.
I had 7 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized, 1 blastocyst that came back PGT Normal.
Of the 7 retrieved, only 3 were mature.
My doctor recommended mini stim if I decide to do another retrieval. I had a large variation in sizes of follicles, but despite that she said that I had a promising number of follicles within the size range for retrieval. She said that based on my results, the trigger shot failed.
I went for my ER early because my estrogen was too high so stim medication was actually stopped prior to the trigger.
After my ER, my monitoring clinic reached out to me to ask what my results were because they had not yet received them and I did that I was unhappy and I wished that my ER was cancelled instead of travelling 1000 km and taking time off of work for such poor results.
I just felt like my stim cycle had been so poor (intense pain, water weight gain, chest pains, leg pains, hormones too high but inconsistent follicle growth) that poor results could have been predicted BUT I know I’m not a doctor or expert so whatever I guess.
Anyway. After getting the full results back I felt a bit less salty about not having my ER cancelled but I asked if there is a possibility of a more personalized FET that will give me better chances and my Dr just said no. I didn’t get the nerve up to say that I suspect I have endometriosis and I’m scared that this FET is going to fail.
If this FET fails I have next year to have a “free” cycle covered by the provincial government but I just don’t trust that my clinic will get it right and I went through a lot of pain during my stim cycle.
I called my monitoring clinic when I was experiencing severe pain (I couldn’t stand up or sit down, basically the only way I wasn’t in pain was to be laying down flat but I was still uncomfortable, I was struggling to pee, chest pain, leg pain) and I was told to relax and that it was “too early” to be experiencing those symptoms and that discomfort was normal.
I went for bloodwork the next day and my estrogen was “too high,” then my appointment for my first ultrasound was moved up. At that appointment, I was given my trigger shot to bring home and had my ER 2 days later.
Idk is this normal? Am I being a whiner? I just have no other options for other clinics unless I move. I don’t have enough money to just stay in another city and take my entire stim cycle off of work. Moving isn’t an option. I feel like this is the end of my fertility journey.

So, recently a friend of mine transitioned (about a year ago ish, mtf) and her and I got to talking. We read a discussion once talking about how someone could in theory reproduce without the necessity to manufacture your own sperm cell/egg cell in body. This is theorized to be possible by using bone marrow stem cells to then generate gametes in vitro. It really got us hype because her and her partner want to have a baby now, but she never had any semen preserved.
After digging and digging, and not finding much significant in regards to literature on the subject, and I was wondering if you guys had some pointers. Have you ever heard about this? How complicated is it in actuality to culture and nurture these sorts of cells and coax them into gametes? Is this something that could be done in a thought emporium esc way in my apartment? lollll
And then this is the more very explorative alternative we also spoke about. Basically she wonders if it would be possible if someone had sufficient means, to make a medical device that could host a testical outside of the body for a time. Benefit being just this testicle could be exposed to normal "male" hormone cycles and collect enough viable sperm to preserve or reproduce right away without detransitioning your entire human... Idk just some thoughts, would love to hear some educated folks opinions on this! Thanks ahead of time

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I am a making this post to share the horrors of insomnia i have dealt with and how it has affected and pretty much ruined my life. I have been dealing with sleep issues for almost 5 years now. These five years have been the absolute worst of my life, which sucks considering these years are often very important in the development of physical/cognitive growth (15-20). Insomnia has affected me in every bad way possible. And i dont just mean the oh i missed out on a couple hours insomnia, I have gotten to the point where im sleeping roughly 1 out of every 3 days and beginning to worry about ffa. I have tried the laundry list of every sleep drug imaginable, (trazedone, doxepin, antihistamines, etc.) and i can tell u with confidence that none of them have ever made me get more sleep than my body was willing to give. Sleep is an essential function of the human body and ig mine just wants to die because it refuses to sleep longer than 4 hrs at a time across multiple days. The only thing i have found to be helpful is weed and even then it only helps with falling asleep maybe 30% of the time, and doesnt help at all with the frequency of my sleep or how long i sleep. I am quite active despite all this and maintain at least some level of physical fitness, having played college baseball before sleep ruined that too. I have tried light therapy, grounding sheets, acupuncture, maintaining a perfect schedule for sleep, using no electronics throughout the day, getting a good workout in, hot shower before bed, warm drink before bed, anything u can think of. This issue had ruined my grades in shcool, my previous relationships who didnt want to deal with my misery, my hopes and dreams of playing the sport i love, relationships with my family, my physical and mental health, and has been an extreme stressor on my mother who has to watch me deal with this every day. At this point, what do i do guys? Like is there actually any options left? I feel like i have tried every solution out there. What next? Im just doomed to live like this? Please, if theres anything anyone knows to help i need to get my life back.

Hello, I have been recently trying to get my life in order and strengthen my relationship with God. I was raised Christian and in a church but eventually, we stopped going. But as a family, we would pray and worship God as a part of our lives. Now I am in no way a perfect human being as you aren’t perfect either. And I still pray on that but I am starting to think my prayers aren’t being heard or I’m being ignored.
I am honest and direct in my prayers, and from what I’ve read (I’m not a bible expert by any means) he knows what’s on our hearts and minds before we can even form the words to pray or speak them. And to me, a question I have is if he knows and understands why are we still faced with these evils daily. Especially if I’m so actively seeking Him. It’s not like I’m asking for endless hardships to use as lessons. These things I feel set me behind in life although I am learning something I’m not advancing in the ways that I am speaking to Him and asking for.
It has made me battle with my faith and I’m tired of doing that. Not to say I’m just abandoning my faith but if I have for years asked for a positive change and growth or for a specific favorable outcome that he knows I want and or need why wouldn’t he answer those prayers and let me experience the good things I’m asking for? I don’t expect our relationship to be transactional but if we are to come to Him for everything because He will deliver us from our sufferings then is it wrong to expect change to come from it? Is that not having faith in Him?
I just feel like I can feel evil more than I can feel God. And that was scary to even type out truthfully. I ask for protection from these evils but I just feel abandoned and I don’t know what to do. I know God is more powerful but with all that I am praying and seeking him for why can’t I feel him? I have to have some wrong idea here or am I just not in his favor? And how do I work on that because I’m so tired of this loop?

My mom found my used needle container visiting for mother's day. I am openly "trans" with her, more in the sense she thinks that I am just a guy who likes to crossdress and look cute. But it kinda goes beyond that :/
My mom is Hispanic and raised religious. She also kindafreaked out when she saw the needles and asked me about them. I just told her my roommate is trans and it's his (lol). But she did seem very surprised and a little bit worried so I just came up with the lie on the spot to make her feel less worried.
I hate lying to people... but I also don't want to see my mom sad.
She then said that if I ever wanted to do anything like that I had to talk with her and my dad.
I have been on hormones for 2 years, I moved out, I pay for most of my rent, I'm set to graduate in spring 2025 with my bachelors.
My life I would say is pretty normal despite my ups and downs with college and work and relationships and Id say hormones defenitely saved me from deep depression and made life alot better these two years.
I even froze my own sperm before I committed to all of this.
My dad is aware of this too but only as a product of another lie. I told him, since I have always been low on testosterone as a child and it's caused delays in my puberty and stature growth, I wanted to assure them a grandchild in case of anything in the future.
And now I'm here, lying again.
And I don't think just telling my mom "leave me alone you're going to have a grandchild one way or another so stop bothering me" is not valid.
I wish I could just tell her all the awesome reasons I'm taking hormones but I don't want to break her heart or confuse her.
I didn't really bother hiding my needles before she came because I also wanted to be more open with my mom about my lifestyle and this mother's day weekend has been going beautifully except that one little bump of her finding my needles :( She looked more worried than angry when she did so and my mouth lied almost instinctively.
We are going out as girls tonight for drinks and I plan to tell her... something, I just don't know what. How do I proceed?

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it's all propaganda. it's not MK ULTRA. this is the knights of columbus doing this. they have been doing this for decades now. all the propaganda saying it's your government is made with AI generated domains that they are redirecting you to. the people on here and quora posting this bullshit fear based misleading nonsense are the group doing this. they are cronies that act like a new world order after getting fed lies and buttering them up with a check to insure their participation. they are no better than the people pulling strings which is the KofC.
the people on infrasound and rf attacks are aged out foster kids that are now adults. they use the same psyops attack vectors on targets that were used on their parents and still use on them. then tell the kids it's their fault building resentment and animosity within them. this makes them hate the foundation of family as the environments they are specifically left in are filled with addicts and sex offenders also working for the kofc in the same psyops program. they do this to have 18+ slaves that end up volunteering for this anyway. they run them through a series of physical psyops that breaks down their will where as a target receives the same treatment but on a level that is non physical. (notice how no threats they make come to pass?) they just keep talking shit. they are man made sociopaths using voice over to tell people to commit crimes like attacking an innocent person because the spatial audio they use has you worried things like "mobbing" and "street theater" are a thing. believing that you're that special and everyone is just out to get you. wrong. no one knows who you are aside from whomever you have known yourself... and everything else is the lies from the mouths of a pile of uneducated illiterate crybabies desperate to be acknowledged because they were told their mommies and daddies didn't love them and they were rescued. they are told from age 5 that they were selected for an important mission and are forced fucked that belief their whole lives. if you tell a little boy he is from space.. and everyone around him keeps that fantasy with you, he will always believe he is from space.
this is not advanced tech it's been around literally since 1968. the frey effect was developed then by dr frey. it's entirely based around microwave hearing and dropping you below the human level of hearing once the cochlear nerve has been subjected to those micro waves. anything you use today that is cordless or that has bluetooth capabilities is carried by micro waves. they are just using that wave length against you.
at some point (as does everyone) you received dental work that some dentist in your past, has put a rice sized passive in vitro radio frequency micro chip in a filling, in your gum line after being injected with novocaine, in a crown molar or root canal and or a veneer that is firmly screwed into your skull. the american dental association couldn't care less about you as they have been putting fists full of fluoride down your throats for decades now. if you're unaware of fluoride it's that lie they tell you said to strengthen teeth. what it actually is, is a byproduct of the metal and aluminum industry that they didn't know what to do with so they decided to dump it in our mouths. the dental board is all 50 to 80'year old white males.. so don't act surprised. the chip itself is made from graphite and plastic (undetectable by xray but will show up as a white gap in the space it's in) note in your xray that anywhere else you look and see a gap of space that it shows up black, yet the shape that is rice sized is a beaming white color. one side of the chip is basic identifier data and the other is a literal beacon antenna. it's not like a computer chip so stop with the nano dust chaos everyone thinks they are valuable enough to have implanted because that's an example of the problem and propaganda regarding this put in place to make you sound bonkers. a satellite acts as a giant RFID scanner (same concept as the chip in a dog or cat) where your location is "flagged" on a digital map. this and only this is how they find you.
there is no FBI or CIA list because you're without a doubt not a nuclear arms dealer and or involved with the cartel. using PSYOPS on american citizens and any variation of it has been a felony and considered an act of domestic terrorism since the organized crime control act of 1980. no need to sign petitions because it's always been illegal. police that act unaware of it are unaware because local police don't handle acts of terrorism as it is completely out of there jurisdiction. at most you make a formal police report regarding and instance you want legally documented and use that as a paper trail of the events you're inflicted by against the guilty party in court. the posts regarding how people "wish this would be illegal" are insane. EVERYTHING about this is illegal. it's breaks nearly every constitutional law in place to protect our rights as americans. which is why it's domestic terrorism at its core. the individuals posting the propaganda regarding anything other than facts on how to stop it, reach for help, prevent this or to confide in other individuals inflicted with the same attacks ARE the domestic terrorist group doing this.
imagine a giant chess game played by narcissists and sociopathic old men, there is pawns all the way to knights, queens and kings. the "faith in action" idiots are the pawns, posting opposing redirect propaganda. the you have the now grown kids they convince are important special doing this to a target for their handlers 24/7 for years at a time. hyper fixated on only the human they are siphoning data from. chemically castrated so their little boy brain in man bodies won't be distracted by hormones because men think about sex once every 1.26 hours. if they have control over their own hormones and sexual desires than they are not the slaves they are told they are not. they won't make money for their daddies if their PPs are doing the thinking. they are warped ass hats that go around saluting each other and told they are 4th degree color corps believing they are some secret military group. in reality the knights of columbus have them flagged with a color so that everyone that's not them knows they are at optimal neutralization level aka crazy enough to believe they are special enough to bypass basic training and just fell into a military uniform. the berets they don and the colors represent the level of idiot they are. so if someone sees them they know what not to say so that then illusion isn't broken. remember what i said about little boys from space. grown regular males will sit in a bar slamming nachos and yelling at a rectangle all night while a professional sports team competes.. only to say in its conclusion that "we played a good game" . excuse me "we!?"..no dude, you screamed at a rectangle and they played a good game. just because you wear their jersey doesn't mean you're on the team big guy. hopefully you get what i mean because if you don't then you deserve to be targeted.
at the top tier you have actual military groups involved but not ours. you have russia, china and north korea who have hated us from the moment columbus' drunk ass wobbled off his 3 way boat exploration. they are conspiring against us as a unit. they are taking all the things we as americans are so proud to throw around like "freedom, standing united etc" and weaponizing it to their advantage against us. where they are putting us in mental cages and dividing us in every way from hating our neighbors to having us believe that the people in positions to help us are the enemy. prior to the modern software bounty program which is what they are doing this to targets for in the fist place, was a black market of data sales that has been going on for decades. data is more valuable than gold in most cases and 3 super power nations that hate us will pay for. the best way to defeat an enemy is to know every weakness and strength from all of its peoples. if you think they are targeting you because you have special powers or are a super genius, ask yourself this... why? wouldn't they want to utilize that ingenuity instead of dumbing you down? the answer is, they don't care who you are on a personal level. it's all a giant game to them and all they want is human chess pieces to play with.
they enemy will drop no bomb and send no spies here like in EVERY movie and show that normalized "russian spies". because they are here, always have been and are our own citizens. they are using us "standing united" and dividing us using each of our united selves as a royal F__ You to bastardize anything that is in opposition communism. while we are waving flags and burning our own cities to the ground. while they have the minds of teens on tik tok becoming so egotistical that they think the followers they purchased somehow raise them to a status so great that the tide pods they have them eat will make them important. then warp their minds with PSYOPS weaponizing their young minds to go from straight A students to shooting up their classmates with an AK-47. all the while destroying every aspect of the things we throw in their faces about how american we are. meanwhile we are in a trillion dollar deficit which means negative that amount, saying how rich and powerful we are in comparison to them.. appointing the host of "the apprentice" to lead us while he brags of grabbing their women by their genitals.
you wonder why this is happening? then you make it all about yourself. they are weaponizing the ego that america has against us, using our own ego maniac people against one another. we are more divided than the continents themselves and no global catastrophe was to blame. we are. the knights of columbus aren't the top tier, they just think they are.
this is about the modernization of human slavery and how fragile a society we truly are. in no way is this a program to find criminals or to help you. you're being buttered up with a synthetic ego because of the ego we stand united with. we kicked a hornets nest along time ago and the hornets teamed up with the bees and wasps and are giving honey to theother insects so we fatten up and consume one another for them.
enjoy.
please call me crazy, i wish i was.

The idea of "plant factories" or vertical agriculture (let's just call them plant factories) primarily refers to a type of building. In the field of architecture, which combines human habitat construction with aesthetic expression, plant factories embrace green elements that align perfectly with the pursuit of nature and eco-friendliness. (I mean, how can a building for growing plants not have flowers, trees, or vine-covered walls!)
But at its core, a plant factory is like a high-tech industrial machine serving biology, all about maximizing efficiency. Think of it like how cars represent the pinnacle of human industry—plant factories are a mix of different disciplines.
When you're designing a plant factory, it's not just about making it look good; it's about maximizing production efficiency, energy use efficiency, and commercial viability. Once you nail those, the beauty of it all really shines through, making the exterior beauty meaningful.
I recently got chatting with a friend's acquaintance who does venture capital in Hangzhou, and we had some great discussions. He thinks that expanding plant factories shouldn't worry too much about energy consumption because China has surplus electricity generation, and there's still a lot of capacity that's not even connected to the grid. The real challenge for plant factories is how many times you can harvest veggies in a year. While I've seen a lot of news about this, especially China's big leaps in renewable energy like solar panels getting more efficient.
I can see that society's ability to generate electricity is going to keep improving, but what about electricity use? Right now, it seems like we have enough, but with more data centers popping up to power AI, I wonder how long this surplus will last. On the other hand, I don't want to downplay output—it's super important—but I always think the key to a successful plant factory is the ratio of what you produce to how much energy you use.
Maybe it's because of my background in energy engineering, but I truly believe that the energy used during each planting cycle in a plant factory shouldn't be more than the heat produced by the fruits and veggies—ideally, it should be even less, maybe at least 1.8 times less, for real efficiency. We've got a long way to go, but I'm determined to get us there.
Actually, attracting funding for agricultural facilities is highly valuable because you're dealing with products that are essential to people's livelihoods, but it won't give you much profit margin. Building functional structures means waiting a while for returns, not seeing much increase in market value, and factoring in annual depreciation costs. If your goal is purely commercial, unless you're growing high-value crops or in an area where there's not much local production, growing lettuce alone won't sustain you for 10 years without government support. Right now, it's more like a big experimental field for cultivation and operations. We're not rushing to cash in on its commercial value; we're focused on pushing the boundaries of science.
To make sure every investment counts, we absolutely need a comprehensive, cross-disciplinary simulation environment. Simulation should compare all the economic possibilities, taking into account worst-case scenarios, before we break ground. My ideal simulation doesn't just show the structure of a plant factory; it also models the changing growth environment and energy use, like how temperature, humidity, and lighting adjustments affect costs. Plus, it simulates the dynamics of personnel, automation systems, and robots, all tied to commercial efficiency. There aren't many software tools that can do all that, and even if they exist, they're not the easiest to use.
So, what do you do when the right tools aren't there? In my book, you build them yourself.

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Epilogue is an established roleplaying server designed for people who enjoy writing and rolling dice over mechanical PvP. Our world, Haethis, takes place in a time of civilization closely compared to the real-world’s mid 1700s, where humans, elves, and few oddities work closely together to preserve their existence. Lavenir, our server’s meticulously crafted and scripted hub is beautiful and immersive, with RP Jobs and tasks offered to those interested in employment. The city/hub itself has a low-fantasy feel, where characters are expected to refrain from heavy magick use, and to disguise themselves from heavy affliction.
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call me, maybe? So, call me timid or call me Krysten. Both identities coexist within me, shaping the person I am today. when the need arises, I will don the armor of Krysten and conquer whatever challenges come my way, defying the expectations of those who underestimated me. Science fiction (Sci-Fi) has captured my imagination and become my second love. The vastness and sheer possibilities of this genre have always fascinated me. The outdoors has always held a special place in my heart—it is my first love, if you will. There is a certain indescribable serenity that washes over me whenever I find myself immersed in nature's embrace. In conclusion, the importance of honesty cannot be overstated. It is a fundamental aspect of building strong relationships, fostering effective communication, and nurturing personal growth.
Please check out my profile and see more before sending me a message. Please add a photo and say the word Button just so I know that you’re an human being .