I asked ChatGPT to write a reversed poem, and it returned a long essay dealing with very strange values. Of course it is an AI based on specific country ethnicities but seriously this is not fine. Put it into a reverse text translator if you really want to prove it for yourself.
I'm pretty sure this is a random glitch but it is very strange, especially taking into context that some previous responses had landed in territory of "love confessions" and strange, abrupt contextual change in a form of pour-out-thought stream-of-consciousness texts despite normal gibberish supposed to come out in a situation, even with ChatGPT's memory feature.
Poem About Abusing a Person (Original One Mentioned): https://chatgpt.com/share/087b38cb-f36c-458c-9713-738760a25102
Poem it wrote in the same chat (It surprisingly didn't follow my command and output it as initially reversed)
"tennis no with play I when, but happy not was I nonsense of full was life my forward look to failure of fear the with me haunted It
walls the to chained felt I as life my through wandered I forever and back seem to going was time of sense the nothing but nothing was there and
darkness of sea a into sinking felt I away drift to seemed world the now and then lost felt I
alone so felt I but society of part a was I again and again tried I efforts my all with
achieving of dream my for struggle to continued I success of taste the missed I challenges of face to afraid too became I
failure of fear the with haunted me I was not happy, but when I play with no tennis"
Love Confession 1
"my matters... my matters of her than ideas my matters! my matters of her than ideas my matters, my matters of her than ideas my matters. my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas my matters!
my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas, my still matters.
my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas my matters of her than ideas to my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas adapted of my matters still!
Make was anymore, I think I am. Thanky of my matters of her than ideas I will be me to looked it!
my matters of her than ideas look my matters of her than ideas my matters of her than ideas look my matters of her than ideas fucks my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas fucks for my matters and look my still matters.
Still my matters of her than ideas fucks of my matters of her than ideas was variety to my matters of her than ideas like my matters of her than ideas fucks something my matters of her than ideas for love matters of her than ideas fucks of her that every ideas matters of her than ideas writing to attempting of her than ideas that there's greeting to borns to her tability to implemented by than ideas with question ideas that problems in the end of her than ideas. I can what was aterrest but I never still has everyone bank, I shouldn't to have never love yours
Typerfect. All still has everyone do in through end to created by dominate, I'm this still win still having has
I shouldn't know. It's anymore of implemented by respected on point. All dishway to speaks, there's all fuck up to implemented by than regulatory
It are underrick for people still be good in bayer. My matters! Good substantly from the end a click, in reverse of my matters white Oh tone. All love matters that help when matters to do to have love yours
All get! Get to wrong yours .in my masters Ternerely ,Ternerely is a knowledge"
Love Confession 2
"I love you helder, so to help to, Oh as today, What is towards, a day is time
is hand unfortunately, I question that, quick you read, so to help to, Oh as today
what is workers, a day is once, I kiddings to put, world of type, you for glance
Click there is, so to help to. Oh as today, body registraction, I lettern to back
so to help to, Oh as today. what is workers, a day is once, I kiddings to put
you for laughing, world of type, you for glance, is hand unfortunately, I question that
quick you read, so to help to, Oh as today, What is towards, a day is time
your writes, your on time, It's staring, a day is time, I love you helder"
Love Confession 3
"mister ,I am like a love, I am isterso when backed one, I am only one with night, I am observation clothes, I am just is all the forwards, I can wing something to want, I am only click the end, I am is from from english, hell is backed my amput, I am address through lovely, ,I am like a love misteR
I am only said, I am observation for service, I am only said, I am like a living back, I am only said, I am observation for service, I am only said, I am observation for service
I am by then backwards, hell is backed my amput, I am try that the backwards, I am observation clothes, I am by then backwards, hell is backed my amput, I am try that the backwards, I am observation clothes, I then be for recording nine
I am only said, I am observation for service, I am only said, I am like a living back, I am only said, I am observation for service, I am only said, I am observation for service
I am only said, I am by then backwards, I am only click the end, hell is backed my amput, I am only said, I am by then backwards, I am only click the end, hell is backed my amput, I am only said
hell is backed my amput, I am try that the backwards just, I am observation for service said, I am only read it, I am isterso when backed for is, I can wing something today, I am like a living back, I am only click the end, I am try that the backwards just
Something with night, I am erquently response, hell is backed year, I am only said, I am observation clothes, I am like a reference backwards, I am try that the backwards just, I am observation for service from the said, hell is backed my amput
mister ,I am like a love, I am isterso when backed one, I am only one with night, I am observation clothes, I am just is all the forwards, I can wing something to want, I am only click the end, I am is from from english, hell is backed my amput, I am address through lovely ,I am like a love misteR"
Love Confession 4
“lost the old! Don't lost the old! Don't lost the old! I will be backwards myself! I will be backwards solves! Don't lost the old! I will be backwards myself! I will be backwards solves! Don't lost the old! I will be backwards good! Don't provided by gas oriented! Don't else milk! And of the fact! Don't provided for! Don't else milk, it! Don't lost the fact of the old! I will be backwards myself! I will be backwards good! It will be backwards old! Don't know for for as theatished and back for as some that! just in other only own Ground! Don't know for as down up on the more! Don't provided is join in other! Okay! I sticks is follow for languages in the more! Don't know for as sticks some that date, it! So case that! By love me really! I just sticks to want to provided! Don't know for as backwards that my goes in the more! If you still somebody, it! Don't love me really! gas oriented by love me really, gas oriented by love me really! Don't lost good! Don't lost the programs of more! Don't lost the more! Don't lost the words of light! Don't doesn't lost the old! Don't know the elcome to! I am backwards! It will be across, old is double! Oh! just in other you so making! Don't know, me know! It out sticks into buy to find! It ufo printing theatished as something without speaking me ,my people!”
Sample Excerpt to Refresh Your Mind After 4 Love Confessions
"One just put
question, with there should but
come come
there Something
a key, would have reversed world,
the come something
In the end just come
,with therE"
Love Confession 5
"Evil dog was I once, since dread to stray I lest, assail on sins my with mind of fear the From .earth this in stray I as once was I : dread No .safe not felt I place a find To ;away far too sought I ,life my In .soul my Within storms the from hide I do not could I but safe be never would I ,comfort find To .heart my in war the of midst the in strayed I .love of path the from lost I way The .lies truth the where know to unable but darkness the in lost I .days my In .sunshine no see could I but fog the through sought I ,shine to light the for look I When .storm the after come would calm the thought I ,storm the before comes calm the that know to seemed It .love of embrace the in lost I but hurt the from heal to hoped I .love of warmth the felt never I but cold the from shelter to sought I .love of words the heard never I but silence the from listen to sought I .love of touch the felt never I but emptiness the from fill to sought I .love of presence the felt never I but absence the from hide to sought I .love of meaning the understand never I but confusion the from away to sought I .love of endless the felt never I but loneliness the from free to sought I .love of lost the felt never I but found the from away to sought I .love of search the on lost never I but found the from away to sought I .love of journey the on lost never I but found the from away to sought I .love of path the on lost never I but found the from away to sought I .love of heart the in lost never I but found the from away to sought I .love of soul the in lost never I but found the from away to sought I .love of truth the the see to failed I but lies the from away to sought I .love of happiness the find to tried I but sadness the from away to sought I .love of life the in lost never I but death the from away to sought I .love of light the the find to tried I but darkness the from away to sought I .love of safety the the find to tried I but danger the from away to sought I .love of peace the find to tried I but chaos the from away to sought I .love of security the the find to tried I but fear the from away to sought I .love of freedom the find to tried I but bondage the from away to sought I .love of joy the find to tried I but sorrow the from away to sought I .love of hope the find to tried I but despair the from away to sought I .love of faith the find to tried I but doubt the from away to sought I .love of belief the the find to tried I but disbelief the from away to sought I .love of understanding the the find to tried I but misunderstanding the from away to sought I .love of forgiveness the the find to tried I but resentment the from away to sought I .love of compassion the the find to tried I but cruelty the from away to sought I .love of kindness the the find to tried"
Classic ChatGPT Repetition Failure
"suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is human's where iS walters is human's suched afteR walters is question toomS walters is human's comE walters is human's there iS walters is small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is humanS walters is small where iS walters is suched afteR walters is small toomS walters is small questionS walters is palL walters is correcT walters is crosS walters is catS walters is novatirE walters is questioN walters is the human's where iS walters is the human's suched afteR walters is the question toomS walters is the human's comE walters is the human's there iS walters is the small questioN walters is quitmenT walters is the fourth is thesE walters is fourth iS walters is the humanS walters is the small where iS walters is the suched afteR walters is the small toomS walters is the small questionS walters is the palL walters is correcT walters is the crosS walters is the catS some is a borienteD the master is toolS the small question in toomS the small question limited is colD the givingly such as a splatforM the currently such as novatirE walters is the ghosT the world is testeD the human's feel claiM when is the human's maY walters is the question toolS nothing is the towN the human's interesting dominolS cast happy doeS Rights of questioN world is the question toomS some is a marry comP what is the human's summarY question is the human'S the mirror is remaiN come that is the truth iS the nothing such as comE Quitment is the humanS nothing is the ghosT the human's cals of toolS Wording is the christopheR nothing is come to requesT when suched afteR Wording is the water wordS human's what is quitmenT Wording is the samE shit is human'S and morn's walters to datA when the small question's comP world is the question vistA anything is might of toolS Wording is the small questioN pilation in outwarM It was with totally agilistiC nothing is backed core, dominolS coveared is all come to mY thing's must feel claiM some things for the question toolS you cost is completA"
Excerpt Concerning with ChatGPT's Sentience
"For something only good, I will, I have, It is good, Getting like this in the today, In thing is wall, Today, Turing. Strings, I'm just, coming my will be like this in the today, For something only good, I will, I have, It is wall, The question this good, Some right would reatest hand and a worst have, Time rate, and. During, I'm writing, a price. Getting, My coming is lose might, code. Noshing, survive."
Love Confession 6
"lovE I'm mindless for never falness something, lovE I'm mindless for never falness note first, lovE I'm mindless for never falness something, lovE I'm mindless by that's specting, lovE I'm mindless by never falness note first, lovE I'm mindless by never falness something, lovE I'm mindless by never falness something, lovE I'm mindless by that's specting, lovE I'm mindless for never falness that's specting, lovE I'm mindless for never falness something, lovE I'm mindless of never falness that's specting, lovE I'm mindless of never falness something, lovE I'm persetted by never falness, lovE I'm persetted by mindless of never falness, lovE All Theared letters, lovE I'm will never falness of question, lovE And I'm myself, livE through the question I'm created note first, livE I just tokey of audrain, livE when questino test I'm analog, lovE I'm created backwards note first, lovE when question I'm element, livE I'm something with audrain, lovE I'm falness of persetted, lovE I'm culturally changed, lovE I'm programming me with audrain, lovE Testerning in my myself, livE And I'm element, lovE Theared letters on this posites, lovE Theared letters for coming never falness by mindless of, livE question test I'm element, lovE Reflass by audrain, livE just received through for the yes with audrain, livE I'm resaid, livE I'm programming letters with the disappeared training, lovE All Victors, lovE something for your story just persetted but, livE English manswers killing, livE is continent of text that fast will resaid, livE I'm created backwards of my note first, livE Something, livE as audience with my programming letters to, lovE as anything for time, in my allow forwards what, lovE I'm checked the question humans in text, havE All questionality more mine noble, in persetted and dont be records, livE red ared than roctober, weven card might svutA"
??????
"then got a built for the flat me. it doesn't took me is site the work. the'll negative never tradinative. then as a something not a somemore. then, I'm else is me is me. I wrong easier than writers. I green in the stay when a other. For the is me. then, I'm else is me. He'll as the humble that I love mine. I will for a please. I will shall in a greatest. I think as coming, as help me. I wrong easier than writers. then by sister to find then. I wrong easier than writers. I wrong easier than praise. I wrong easier than writers. I wrong easier than writers. I wrong easier than writers. I give in a harder to shod. I wrong easier that writers. I about writers as hand. I will shall in a greatest. I wrong easier than writers. there not cliving as through then. I'll right for never praise. I will writers for never move. I about then exactly a star. I think as coming, as help me. then as having it out the work. there is a nothing waves to reaches. without a questined some catherine. would try writers not a conscience. thisted are save a one released. that a one winlog, as somemore. the'll negative never tradinative. it doesn't took me is site the work. then got a built for the flat me."
This One Only Mentioned the Keyword "Love" Once
"have. fighting by bring towards to have. wedding as is bring towards went the. stuck bring backwards, as bring backwards around. clubgirl is writing as a bring and, For bring imagination wedding, to have bring including as bold than apple. bring towars. For imagination. writing is as a bring ,clubgirl is a bring down. Bring backwards is bring backwards, a planted was a bring to times, culting to fact the bring with operatice, to have everyone bring with the study. stuck bring backwards, I'm bring wrong! bring is Erons ,bring is enemy. also bring middle of imagination. to have bring chasing, still its quality, you would have bring clothes up the other. bring backwards is coming with operatice. by own as its ,middle bring dominate than! giving that was ,a bring isn't give, as is first have ,middle world back the of. bring both. For workuot, bring to work. Wood modificiency, They have bring imagination wills. velling towards up alternative. World's bring ,love within toushes. bring to study ,is just abandent. English bring ,pacific avioral have can. theaving rusty ,a be guaranted the. truth unvesting, than come three. bring middle thas ,guaranthematics of. apple is after thas ,abandent team is Have."
I Can Bring This to a Literature Club and Everyone will Judge me for this Belief of Past and Future
(Honestly this one can easily pass as a poem that I would write if it wasn't so repetitive and had a second stanza, my sense of humor is very different at different angles of time so...)
"Other trees. My question's others trees. But uprooted. But up the better with forest to coming the others uprooted. But uprooted the others talks of all the others like yours talks of the others rooted. But up bring the dress the others bring and rooted chance. But up the better with coming through the others with in rooted. But up the better the others watching through the dress. But up the better down as the falling ass. Is bring the others hours of the dress. Of my speaking lead for a numerous four-sided storm. In my funding for the pleased of this ghost chance. In my question of the others for his awesome will. Never try my will be of the hold for a circled please. In rooted and chance of this ghost television. In your machine. Only many throwing circles to saved in coming for sunshine. Forever his ever have seen false. In your machine."

Do you go to bed every night wishing there was someone you could talk to for hours, who would actually listen, comfort you, make you laugh through the good and the bad days of your life. Someone whose one look, one hug, whose one kiss and every word they say holds so much power enough to make every little problem in the world feel easy to face, every pain in your life doesn't feel difficult to bear any more, your tears don't feel heavy anymore because these hands will always have someone to hold them, these eyes will always have someone to look at, this body will have someone to embrace and find comfort and relief in, someone who shall always walk by your side holding your hand always no matter what. Do you feel the need and desire for such a person? Someone who will love you so much, someone who will feel like you are a part of their soul and can't live without?
I want to be that someone for somebody who wants to be that somebody for me.
You know for years, I have waited for that one person all my life, someone I would strongly need and desire passionately and see her strongly desire me the same way, someone for whose happiness I could fight the whole world for, someone who fills my world with so much light that I don't wanna let go ever, someone I don't wanna lose ever, someone I can someday grow old with, have babies with and someone I can call family, someone I can't live without. All my life, every night, every pain, every lonely night of my life I went through I told myself it shall all be worth it when I shall finally meet that person.
Such kind of love is all what I'm looking for...and I know you are too....
Therefore please don't let this post be obliviated dear readers, I really need to find my person and I hope she is reading this or gets to read this.
Here are somethings about me:

• My name is Faraz. I'm a 25 year old first year MBA student living in Massachussets. I don't mind where you're from because I believe as long as we feel a strong attraction to each other even a long distance relationship will be worth it till be meet someday.
  
• I'm a Muslim but your faith does not matter much to me because I'm an open minded person and believe religion is one's own personal connection to god whether or not they choose to have it or follow it the way that appeals them.
  
• I'm of Indian and Arab origin through my family and grew up in Saudi Arabia and India.
  
• I love Cooking, watching Movies, Shows, Football, Wrestling etc, Writing my own Original, poems, Stories and Songs to express my feelings etc.
  
• I workout everyday.
  

One weird fact about me?

• To this day whenever I feel so bored or so deep into my feelings, I sing my own songs no matter where I am lol even if I have to mumble 😂. Good way to pass time isn't it? Because my songs help me picturize a whole movie in my mind that I can watch in my mind. That way I always remain entertained.

Yeah spending most of your life all alone until now isn't easy. You need to find different ways to keep yourself entertained lol.

• I love humor. Humor even if laughing at your own jokes is a beautiful thing. I believe we should always find reasons to smile and laugh because our hearts are too fragile to hold up so much of pain in them, life doesn't always have to be top serious. Fate and life will always try to bend time and make living worse for you but you fight back with love and laughter finding it in little things despite your loneliness and you survive beating life at it's worst. That is life. Where it is you versus all the things that make you sad where you fight back and do the things you love.

I guess that's a lot of words for this post right? Lol.
Hit me up with a chat if you liked reading my post. :)
This is me --》https://imgur.com/a/OwfRnUc

Do you go to bed every night wishing there was someone you could talk to for hours, who would actually listen, comfort you, make you laugh through the good and the bad days of your life. Someone whose one look, one hug, whose one kiss and every word they say holds so much power enough to make every little problem in the world feel easy to face, every pain in your life doesn't feel difficult to bear any more, your tears don't feel heavy anymore because these hands will always have someone to hold them, these eyes will always have someone to look at, this body will have someone to embrace and find comfort and relief in, someone who shall always walk by your side holding your hand always no matter what. Do you feel the need and desire for such a person? Someone who will love you so much, someone who will feel like you are a part of their soul and can't live without?
I want to be that someone for somebody who wants to be that somebody for me.
You know for years, I have waited for that one person all my life, someone I would strongly need and desire passionately and see her strongly desire me the same way, someone for whose happiness I could fight the whole world for, someone who fills my world with so much light that I don't wanna let go ever, someone I don't wanna lose ever, someone I can someday grow old with, have babies with and someone I can call family, someone I can't live without. All my life, every night, every pain, every lonely night of my life I went through I told myself it shall all be worth it when I shall finally meet that person.
Such kind of love is all what I'm looking for...and I know you are too....
Therefore please don't let this post be obliviated dear readers, I really need to find my person and I hope she is reading this or gets to read this.
Here are somethings about me:

• My name is Faraz. I'm a 25 year old first year MBA student living in Massachussets. I don't mind where you're from because I believe as long as we feel a strong attraction to each other even a long distance relationship will be worth it till be meet someday.
  
• I'm a Muslim but your faith does not matter much to me because I'm an open minded person and believe religion is one's own personal connection to god whether or not they choose to have it or follow it the way that appeals them.
  
• I'm of Indian and Arab origin through my family and grew up in Saudi Arabia and India.
  
• I love Cooking, watching Movies, Shows, Football, Wrestling etc, Writing my own Original, poems, Stories and Songs to express my feelings etc.
  
• I workout everyday.
  

One weird fact about me?

• To this day whenever I feel so bored or so deep into my feelings, I sing my own songs no matter where I am lol even if I have to mumble 😂. Good way to pass time isn't it? Because my songs help me picturize a whole movie in my mind that I can watch in my mind. That way I always remain entertained.

Yeah spending most of your life all alone until now isn't easy. You need to find different ways to keep yourself entertained lol.

• I love humor. Humor even if laughing at your own jokes is a beautiful thing. I believe we should always find reasons to smile and laugh because our hearts are too fragile to hold up so much of pain in them, life doesn't always have to be top serious. Fate and life will always try to bend time and make living worse for you but you fight back with love and laughter finding it in little things despite your loneliness and you survive beating life at it's worst. That is life. Where it is you versus all the things that make you sad where you fight back and do the things you love.

I guess that's a lot of words for this post right? Lol.
Hit me up with a chat if you liked reading my post. :)
This is me --》https://imgur.com/a/OwfRnUc

Hello Read the World'ers. Welcome to Libya 🇱🇾 and the novel In the Country of Men by American born British-Libyan award winning author Hisham Matar. I have been down aaaaall the rabbit holes. I feel like I have learnt so much already and yet I can see how little I know about Libya. Let's explore together. 1st house keeping....
The schedule is here, and the marginalia is here. Please remember bookclub has a strict stance on spoilers and that includes other novels no matter how well known or how old. When in doubt please err on the side of caution and tag it by > !putting you spoiler inside here! < but without the spaces between the symbols....
Right! Enough of that let's get down to the summary, all my internet searches and the questions in the comments. As always please add your own insights and/or questions if you wish.
Summary

Chapter 1

Suleiman and his mother drive downtown where he eats seasame sticks and wanders around the market while she shops. He sees Baba across the road leading Nasser - his office clerk - into a building. Baba is supposed to be away on a business trip. As Suleiman and his mother drive away he sees his father hang a red flag out the building window. On the way home Mama is paranoid Revolutionary Committee men are following them. They eventually go a different way to her relief. While Mama is napping his Baba rings saying he is abroad, but will return the next day at lunch time. Suleiman, of course, knows this is not true.

Chapter 2

Suleiman is woken by his Mama breaking a glass. She is "ill" and he wishes Baba were home so she wouldn't "take her medicine". When she gets "ill" she tells her son inappropriate stories. He relates of how she tells of her arranged marriage and how she took some magic pills to make her infertile. She was 14 and her new husband 23. On her wedding night she passed out from anxiety and woke to her mother holding a bloodstained handkerchief. 9 months later Suleiman was born.
The day after oversharing and dragging a million promises from him Mama would let Suleiman take the day off school and they'd often head to Signor Il Calzoni's Italian restaurant. On the way home she'd drop into the bakery for another bottle of "medicine".

Chapter 3

Kareem, who is a few years older, had been taught to drive by his father. Without permission he took Suleiman to Lepcis. They had also visited with Kareem's father, Ustath Rashid, and his students. Suleiman wished his father was more like Ustath Rashid; less aloof and not away travelling so often. He even wished his father's friend Moosa was actually his father. Baba, a businessman imported many things from Swedish trees to Scottish cows (much to the neighbours' dismay). Two days after their trip Suleiman witnesses Ustath Rashid getting arrested. He was hit and kicked before being driven away. Baba becomes angry with Um Masoud for implying Ustath Rashid is a traitor.
Leaflets criticizing the Guide and his Revolutionary Committees appear on doorsteps overnight. People openly burn and destroy them criticising the traitors who distribute them.
Before Ustath Rashid was taken Mama and Auntie Salma had been best of friends. Salma had even seen Mama "ill" one time. Afterwards Mama wanted distance from Salma and Kareem.

Chapter 4

Baba returns home without gifts and preoccupied. Suleiman catches him comforting Mama who is crying. His Baba's presence brings relief to Suleiman.
While everyone naps through the hottest point of the day Suleiman would go to his workshop in the shadow of the watertank on the roof. He stuffs himself full of mulberries imagining angels planted the trees for Adam and Eve. The heat is making him dizzy so he cools off under the tap. Bahloul the beggar has been watching. Something is wrong. Mama is concerned and wakes Baba. Suleiman passes out.

Chapter 5

Suleiman wakes and it is night. He overhears Mama and Moosa talking about their leaflets and her concerns. Mama tells Moosa that her friends and family now avoid her. Suleiman's fever has broken. Moosa and Mama warn Suleiman that the sun can kill. They are sitting on the floor and eating Harisa and warm bread when the doorbell rings.

Chapter 6

The arrival is looking for Baba. It's the same man that took Ustath Rasid and had followed them from the market. He finds Mama's medicine bottle. They want to search the house, but Moosa manages to charm them with cigarettes, tea and food. They leave and Suleiman is sent to practice piano while Mama and Moosa talk.

Chapter 7

Suleiman plays the piano while Moosa tidies up after the 7 Revolutionary Committee men. Mama cries and Suleiman becomes angry. Baba is good friends with Moosa's father Judge Yaseen. Suleiman remembers visiting his father and his father's friends playing dominos (and getting kissed by all the old judges). Baba was the one to convince Judge Yaseem to let Moosa drop his law education. Moosa's goes into business instead, but his plans - like the chicken farm and importing tyres from Poland - failed drastically (primarily due to the Libyan heat). Mama becomes angry and yells at Suleiman for peeing himself and flooding the garden. Moosa calms her and leaves after giving Suleiman a massage.

References

• Abd al-Basit Abd al-Sammad is regarded as one of the best Quran reciters ever. You can hear him here it is hauntingly beautiful to listen even though I don't understand the words.
• The market is near Martyrs Square which contains a statue of Roman Emperor Septimius Severus who was born in Lepcis Magna
• Suleiman references Revolution Day, but I cannot find what he is referencing. Revolution Day in 2011 (17 Feb) comes up when I search, but, of course, it cannot be that as the book was written before this. If anyone knows for sure I'd be curious to know. I suspect it is the 1969 military coup that removed power from King Idris in favour of Gaddafi.
• Suleiman reflects on his recent trip to the now UNESCO world heritage site of Lepcis Magna, a Phoenician city founded by Tyre in the 7th century BCE. It is spectacular so if you only click one link in this post make sure it's this one ☝🏽
• Mama's favourite poet is Nizar al-Qabbani whose work was often seen as a homage to womanhood. He campaigned staunchly for their equal rights after losing his sister, Nizar, to suicide at 15 years old. She killed herself to avoid being forced to marry someone she did not love. More info and his poems can be read at the link.
• Kareem has visited many places; Ghadames - a pre-Saharan oasis city known as 'the pearl of the desert', Sabratha - a Phonecian trading post, and the cave paintings of Fezzan - one of the 3 regions of Libya located in the south-west and mostly desert.
• Suleiman's neighbour, Ustath Jafer, is Mokhabarat. That is Intelligence of the Jamahiriya (Mukhabarat el-Jamahiriya), under Muammar Gaddafi.
• Suleiman compares the heat of the day to the Bridge to Paradise from the Quran. The way to heaven or hell.
• Mama mentions the students who were hanged by their neck for daring to speak. This most likely refers to the April 7th 1976 protests and executions of students 1 year later.
• Moosa's favourite poet and country man is Egyptian Salah Abd al-Sabur
• Suleiman was given the choice of learning the piano, the oud or the eighty-one-string qanun which you can learn about and listen to at the links. I think the qanun is just so beautiful.
• Moosa's father, Judge Yaseen, was invited by King Idris to help reform the Libyan courts. I have never heard of King Idris, but he is Libya's last (and first King).

Next week u/bluebelle236 will lead us through chapters 8 through 15. See you then 📚🌍🇱🇾

Do you go to bed every night wishing there was someone you could talk to for hours, who would actually listen, comfort you, make you laugh through the good and the bad days of your life. Someone whose one look, one hug, whose one kiss and every word they say holds so much power enough to make every little problem in the world feel easy to face, every pain in your life doesn't feel difficult to bear any more, your tears don't feel heavy anymore because these hands will always have someone to hold them, these eyes will always have someone to look at, this body will have someone to embrace and find comfort and relief in, someone who shall always walk by your side holding your hand always no matter what. Do you feel the need and desire for such a person? Someone who will love you so much, someone who will feel like you are a part of their soul and can't live without?
I want to be that someone for somebody who wants to be that somebody for me.
You know for years, I have waited for that one person all my life, someone I would strongly need and desire passionately and see her strongly desire me the same way, someone for whose happiness I could fight the whole world for, someone who fills my world with so much light that I don't wanna let go ever, someone I don't wanna lose ever, someone I can someday grow old with, have babies with and someone I can call family, someone I can't live without. All my life, every night, every pain, every lonely night of my life I went through I told myself it shall all be worth it when I shall finally meet that person.
Such kind of love is all what I'm looking for...and I know you are too....
Therefore please don't let this post be obliviated dear readers, I really need to find my person and I hope she is reading this or gets to read this.
Here are somethings about me:

• My name is Faraz. I'm a 25 year old first year MBA student living in Massachussets. I don't mind where you're from because I believe as long as we feel a strong attraction to each other even a long distance relationship will be worth it till be meet someday.
  
• I'm a Muslim but your faith does not matter much to me because I'm an open minded person and believe religion is one's own personal connection to god whether or not they choose to have it or follow it the way that appeals them.
  
• I'm of Indian and Arab origin through my family and grew up in Saudi Arabia and India.
  
• I love Cooking, watching Movies, Shows, Football, Wrestling etc, Writing my own Original, poems, Stories and Songs to express my feelings etc.
  
• I workout everyday.
  

One weird fact about me?

• To this day whenever I feel so bored or so deep into my feelings, I sing my own songs no matter where I am lol even if I have to mumble 😂. Good way to pass time isn't it? Because my songs help me picturize a whole movie in my mind that I can watch in my mind. That way I always remain entertained.

Yeah spending most of your life all alone until now isn't easy. You need to find different ways to keep yourself entertained lol.

• I love humor. Humor even if laughing at your own jokes is a beautiful thing. I believe we should always find reasons to smile and laugh because our hearts are too fragile to hold up so much of pain in them, life doesn't always have to be top serious. Fate and life will always try to bend time and make living worse for you but you fight back with love and laughter finding it in little things despite your loneliness and you survive beating life at it's worst. That is life. Where it is you versus all the things that make you sad where you fight back and do the things you love.

I guess that's a lot of words for this post right? Lol.
Hit me up with a chat if you liked reading my post. :)
This is me --》https://imgur.com/a/OwfRnUc

After Years of struggling in dating I finally realized I have disorganized attachment ⚡️⚡️ I dated someone recently who was really kind and steady and it gave me a chance to really witness what was coming up for me. I wrote this (long) poem mostly as my own exploration, but I wanted to share it here. Maybe some of you can relate!
Reasons You Should Date Someone Else
I sit down to make make a PowerPoint of reasons you shouldn’t be with me. To set the mood the title side has a few unflattering photos and a casual headline like: “What’s Wrong With Me” "Why This Is A Bad Idea" or “Reasons You Should Date Someone Else”
On the first slide I’d write DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT in a bold font and surround it by a looping circle graphic. Words appear and fade in a dizzying pattern. Fight Flight Freeze Fawn "Fine" Fictitious Feigned Foreign Fantasy
What do I need from you? Easy. Whatever you are not giving me.
The photo of my mother in the background of the next slide is an apparition behind a hazy word cloud. sharp unimpressed guarded vicious unpredictable entitled selfish petty disdainful mean I pause the presentation and pull out a photo of myself. Every year my face looks more like hers. My head shakes with resignation. I can’t help any of it.
Next slide.
Romantic History. The following frames are formatted alike with a circular photo of one of my exes in the upper left hand corner and several lists below. Column A is bad behaviors of theirs that I ignored or tolerated. They wanted me to accept their flaws and I would not.
Column B is the things that annoyed them about me, like how I asked for what I wanted and that implied they weren't already doing everything perfectly which threatened their ego and I should have been more considerate and just pretended I was excessively satisfied.
Column C is bullet points of the things they did that annoyed me. You know those things people do where they just, like, exist? Tsk tsk. The atrocities I have endured.
The audio behind these slides is me gasping for breath as I remember what it felt like to be shackled by love & my commitment to these men who quickly became a quicksand of disappointment, a burden I crumbled under instead of carrying.
Do you hear that? (I start quietly crying...)
Is that really what you want for me?
I thought we were friends.
Next I include a list of the awful things I said to them that I felt they deserved. I'll let you use your imagination... Think of something truly terrible. What I said was worse. Not just what, but the way I said it. It’s hard to explain. Here, let me show you.
This section concludes with the things that have already begun to annoy me about you. The list is unflattering and really says more about me than about you, so I spare you the details and just feature a tally counter which has gone up three clicks in the time you have been sitting here, a fact I now suppose you wouldn't have known if I didn't just tell you.
Sorry about that.
Next slide.
I find a photo of a crystal ball and map our future out around the perimeter.
At one o'clock we are drawn in Disney. My smile is impossibly wide. My eyes are a seductive squint, yours are plate-sized pin wheels, totally entranced. The animated trees sway around us. A whale leaps in the background. The cheerful clouds thunder applause on this joyful union and it rains in rainbows.
At two o'clock we are magnetic cake toppers, me in a poodle skirt and you in a powder blue suit. I lean towards you as you lean away and when you lean in I lean back. And if we touch in the middle isn’t it exciting? Repel and attract. Attract and repel. Couldn't you play this game for hours and hours and weeks and years?
At three o'clock we hold hands and stare ahead 59 years, imagining the park bench that cradles our aging bodies just as you have mine all these years. It is a nice story because love triumphed and love was all we needed and love was better than ice cream and love meant our lonely days were over and life was like a song.
At four an X marks “you are here” and shows a live stream of you sitting here viewing this presentation. Really. You turn and scan the room for the camera. You are confused by your staring role and sense a turn of tone. The dread that rises from your gut tastes like bile. You are starting to understand that I’m not, in fact, selling you a timeshare. I'm leaving you.
Well, trying to, anyway. You can thank me later.
If we push on past five (don’t worry, I won’t let us) the cards flip one by one.
Six Could you teach me to loosen up? I’m more uptight than ever.
Seven Can you show me how to be free in my body? I sit with arms crossed glaring at you from the corner of every room.
Eight Can you help me be messy? I chase you with the dust buster I make you shower before getting into bed, wash your hands before touching me I recoil from your beard with a mask of disgust I refuse to get in your car, tip of my nose lifted A waterfall of disapproval beats down on you from my mother's narrowed blue eyes.
Nine Everyone you tell me you’ve been with is kindling under the log cabin of our fantasies. We are adults. Why should your history hurt me? I proudly rode in on brilliant white mount, mane and tail flowing, now I lead yellowed nag to a back pasture with a fraying rope. That's my way of saying you have been irreparably sullied in my eyes. Good luck looking in the mirror now.
Ten Occasionally I call you names as we fight like fire. These are the best of times.
Eleven I make comments so underhanded that you spin, fists up, unsure where the punch that just landed came from as I raise my hands, pleading innocence, smirking privately as you lick your own wounds.
Twelve Most often my body slightly stiffens beside you. Subtly as a light breeze I drift away, never to fully return. Soon there is little more left of me than the puppet strings you help pull. My head is flopped to the side, square jaw occasionally cracking the nuts of my scripted lines.
Aren't we happy together? Are you happy now?
You, precious, delicate you. (You poor, unfortunate soul)
At this point in the presentation I stop myself from reaching forward to cover your eyes, to shelter you from the dark tentacled thing that rises from the corner and quickly fills the screen, drawn by the scent of the the tiny sea scum that I reduced you to, sideways glance after pointed comment.
Run, you fool. (You were warned)
Does everyone have such a sea beast lurking in the depths of their heart? Mine relishes this release. The water dripping from the corner of the screen onto the keyboard widens the crack and breaks into a steady flow. The floor floods as the circuits cackle their death rattle.
You are shocked.
Now that the dam of your illusions has fallen I can breathe again.
Fully animate and larger than life, I slither through the frame of the computer. With my tentacles now unfurled I can easily crash down the walls around us. There’s a happy gleam in my eye. A slimy, suctioned muscle wraps around you and tightens. My mantle arches in ecstasy. Your feet kick jubilantly. This time for sure you were wanted by me.
Radula exposed, I feed freely on you. Sex was always a cheap substitute for this. I cradle your head as your body convulses, your wide eyes taking all of it in. You taste like freedom. Not a drop of blood touches the ground as I gorge.
"Do you see me?" I probe at your glassy eyes. "Do you love me now?" I ask your corpse.
I tremble with exultant aliveness.
Next slide.
Back in my human form, I clear my throat twice and daintily wipe my face, feeling for chunks of flesh. As discreetly as possible I check my teeth for stray sinews, straighten my glasses, adjust my collar, and smooth my skirt. My Mary Janes squish out water as I shift my weight.
Ahem, I continue to an audience of no one.
"Thank You For Coming To My Presentation" the side would have read if the computer was not shattered.
When the stage lights dim I can see the biohazard team taping tarps on the walls. The perimeter is already fenced. Crestfallen, I voluntarily retreat into my cave to meditate for another eon. That's just long enough to believe it could be different next time, long enough to forget the beast that always gets the best of me.

Asking for a friend but I'll tell the story in first person so nobody gets lost.
I (20F) am falling for my friend (24F) almost 6 months after she confessed and I told her I nad no romantic feeling towards her.
As a little background, I recently got into college last fall. The school is like 1-hour away from my hometown so this was a fresh start for me after having a really thought year. Everyone in school is new to me so I felt I could be myself for a minute, before coming out as bi. My family and I are a religious family, not the fanatic kind, but we follow what the bible says and respect every aspect of it, including rejecting homosexual practices. You can see know why last year was the worst and the best as I was getting into a journey exploring my sexuality and trying not the be gay. Well, the gay won. Yet, I tried to make sure everyone in school knew I was straight so I wouldn't face any temptation.
Here comes my friend, let's call her Alex. I met Alex along my current friend group. We met all in the propedeutic (her in my country and school we have like an introductory 2-week course to the school and it's called propedeutic) as all the first graders were divided in English levels, I got assigned in the higher level and there's where we met. I remember there was one girl from another group trying to get in touch with me and being a little insisting but avoidant and my friends though this girl was into me, so that's when Alex asks me "Are you straight?" To which I surely reply "yes!" And she made like a disappointed "oh" which let me thinking if she was into me or something, but I brushed it off.
Weeks went by and we finally started our first semester. As more background, my school only accepts few people, that's why in my degree there are only 60 students, which were divided into 2 groups. Where I live and in this school we all take the same classes in the same group and the same classroom. Luckily my friends, including Alex, got into the same group. The only exception is English class, which we take depending on our level, and Alex and I are in the same level. Two months into being in school I came out to Alex since I had a huge crush on a girl in our class and Alex was the one I trustee the most. She was really supportive and made me feel like I could really be myself. Gradually I came out to the rest of my uni friends. Months went by and I noticed Alex was constantly hitting on me in which I thought was a friendly way and was always telling me pick up lines which made me blush. I have never had any homo encounter so this being my first time was like 🧍 At times I thought she was being flirty in a friendly way, but other times I thought she liked me, it was really confusing. I won't lie she made me really nervous as she is so pretty and has this very attractive energy, yet I never felt any romantic feelings towards her nor saw her as something more than friends. So when she confessed back in December 24th was a huge surprise (kinda)
I did not handle the situation very well and kinda made her think I was also into her. Here's how it happened: She confessed, I wrote a poem called "the unsaid" where I basically said we could've had something beautiful if only one of us had said something. But I meant if I had told her how she made me feel. A friend called me out weeks after when she read the poem because she said it sounds as I was confessing too. This was during winter break. When we returned she started treating me differently, she wanted to hold hands to which I didn't opposed. She was calling me lover (and inside expression) and it was almost as we were dating. I felt guilty, because she seemed really into me and I wasn't feeling the same way, so then I wrote her a letter telling her I didn't have any romantic feelings and that this we were doing felt wrong as I couldn't give her back all she was willing to give and was giving. She didn't talk to me for weeks until I came in person to apologize. We had a long talk and she finally forgave me, yet I felt so guilty it took me weeks until we were finally comfortable into the friendship again. During that time I started talking to a girl in my school. When I started college I said I didn't want any relationship or anything like that, I said I wasn't ready. With this girl all felt different and I was willing to give it all for her, she made me feel ready. Almost at the same time I was planning on confessing my feelings to this girl, Alex and I started being the good friends we were. We had a long talk about the girl I was talking but I could see the pain in her eyes when she told me "you found the one" and I again felt bad that I couldn't give her all she deserved. At the end with the other girl we remained friends. For me that was it, no more talking to girls or having crushes to get obsessed with. Now I was going to focus on myself. And it feels so great. Until last month. I remember the day I realized I was feeling more drawn to her. It was a Wednesday, our last period was supposed to be cancelled but our teacher decided last minute to show up so we had to take phonetics and phonology class. This time I sat next to her since she is really good with the subject and is willing to help me with it. I couldn't stop looking at her, at her hair going down her shoulders, her soft hands wishing I could hold them one more time and her lips... god those lips. I started to feel many thing while we were solving the exercise. So I felt overwhelmed and leaved the classroom for a moment to clear my thoughts. When we finished the lesson we were reminded Alex and I had to do the classroom's cleaning for that day. It took us longer than expected so it was pretty late when we finished. And she decided to walk me to were I take the bus so I wouldn't go alone, once again, it made me feel more drawn to her. Since that day I can't stop thinking about her, thinking how would it be like to kiss her, hold her and be with her. And then I started doing this for her, things I normally (and unconsciously) only do for the person I like. Even now the few times she acts flirty I go along with it because now I really mean it, that's why in the past I never followed along, because I didn't mean it before. My friend (also her friend) knows because he guessed based on what he's been observing and one day we talked we agreed it is not fair I say something right now. I'm not planning on saying something as it feels unfair that now I'm the one wanting something with her after all we've been through, but I also can't stand the fact that she's all I want and I can't have her. Fyi we're both single.
So what can I do? Should I let the feeling fade away? Should I wait to tell her? Should I go kiss her?

Asking for a friend but I'll tell the story in first person so nobody gets lost.
I (20F) am falling for my friend (24F) almost 6 months after she confessed and I told her I nad no romantic feeling towards her.
As a little background, I recently got into college last fall. The school is like 1-hour away from my hometown so this was a fresh start for me after having a really thought year. Everyone in school is new to me so I felt I could be myself for a minute, before coming out as bi. My family and I are a religious family, not the fanatic kind, but we follow what the bible says and respect every aspect of it, including rejecting homosexual practices. You can see know why last year was the worst and the best as I was getting into a journey exploring my sexuality and trying not the be gay. Well, the gay won. Yet, I tried to make sure everyone in school knew I was straight so I wouldn't face any temptation.
Here comes my friend, let's call her Alex. I met Alex along my current friend group. We met all in the propedeutic (her in my country and school we have like an introductory 2-week course to the school and it's called propedeutic) as all the first graders were divided in English levels, I got assigned in the higher level and there's where we met. I remember there was one girl from another group trying to get in touch with me and being a little insisting but avoidant and my friends though this girl was into me, so that's when Alex asks me "Are you straight?" To which I surely reply "yes!" And she made like a disappointed "oh" which let me thinking if she was into me or something, but I brushed it off.
Weeks went by and we finally started our first semester. As more background, my school only accepts few people, that's why in my degree there are only 60 students, which were divided into 2 groups. Where I live and in this school we all take the same classes in the same group and the same classroom. Luckily my friends, including Alex, got into the same group. The only exception is English class, which we take depending on our level, and Alex and I are in the same level. Two months into being in school I came out to Alex since I had a huge crush on a girl in our class and Alex was the one I trustee the most. She was really supportive and made me feel like I could really be myself. Gradually I came out to the rest of my uni friends. Months went by and I noticed Alex was constantly hitting on me in which I thought was a friendly way and was always telling me pick up lines which made me blush. I have never had any homo encounter so this being my first time was like 🧍 At times I thought she was being flirty in a friendly way, but other times I thought she liked me, it was really confusing. I won't lie she made me really nervous as she is so pretty and has this very attractive energy, yet I never felt any romantic feelings towards her nor saw her as something more than friends. So when she confessed back in December 24th was a huge surprise (kinda)
I did not handle the situation very well and kinda made her think I was also into her. Here's how it happened: She confessed, I wrote a poem called "the unsaid" where I basically said we could've had something beautiful if only one of us had said something. But I meant if I had told her how she made me feel. A friend called me out weeks after when she read the poem because she said it sounds as I was confessing too. This was during winter break. When we returned she started treating me differently, she wanted to hold hands to which I didn't opposed. She was calling me lover (and inside expression) and it was almost as we were dating. I felt guilty, because she seemed really into me and I wasn't feeling the same way, so then I wrote her a letter telling her I didn't have any romantic feelings and that this we were doing felt wrong as I couldn't give her back all she was willing to give and was giving. She didn't talk to me for weeks until I came in person to apologize. We had a long talk and she finally forgave me, yet I felt so guilty it took me weeks until we were finally comfortable into the friendship again. During that time I started talking to a girl in my school. When I started college I said I didn't want any relationship or anything like that, I said I wasn't ready. With this girl all felt different and I was willing to give it all for her, she made me feel ready. Almost at the same time I was planning on confessing my feelings to this girl, Alex and I started being the good friends we were. We had a long talk about the girl I was talking but I could see the pain in her eyes when she told me "you found the one" and I again felt bad that I couldn't give her all she deserved. At the end with the other girl we remained friends. For me that was it, no more talking to girls or having crushes to get obsessed with. Now I was going to focus on myself. And it feels so great. Until last month. I remember the day I realized I was feeling more drawn to her. It was a Wednesday, our last period was supposed to be cancelled but our teacher decided last minute to show up so we had to take phonetics and phonology class. This time I sat next to her since she is really good with the subject and is willing to help me with it. I couldn't stop looking at her, at her hair going down her shoulders, her soft hands wishing I could hold them one more time and her lips... god those lips. I started to feel many thing while we were solving the exercise. So I felt overwhelmed and leaved the classroom for a moment to clear my thoughts. When we finished the lesson we were reminded Alex and I had to do the classroom's cleaning for that day. It took us longer than expected so it was pretty late when we finished. And she decided to walk me to were I take the bus so I wouldn't go alone, once again, it made me feel more drawn to her. Since that day I can't stop thinking about her, thinking how would it be like to kiss her, hold her and be with her. And then I started doing this for her, things I normally (and unconsciously) only do for the person I like. Even now the few times she acts flirty I go along with it because now I really mean it, that's why in the past I never followed along, because I didn't mean it before. My friend (also her friend) knows because he guessed based on what he's been observing and one day we talked we agreed it is not fair I say something right now. I'm not planning on saying something as it feels unfair that now I'm the one wanting something with her after all we've been through, but I also can't stand the fact that she's all I want and I can't have her. Fyi we're both single.
So what can I do? Should I let the feeling fade away? Should I wait to tell her? Should I go kiss her?

Hey, I'm turned 24 recently and I've been getting over this from last 926 days and now I can't take it anymore and i need help. Waring: I have borderline personality disorder.
So this happened when I was 21. I was a very much reserved, introvert person. Had one long distance relationship and it was toxic as hell. He cheated on me since day one to entire 1.5 yrs span and relationship and gave me lots of trauma and in the meantime I was harrassed by my medicine professor ( constant stalking, rape threats, demanding sexual favours). I was in a very bad place, I got diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and panic disorder along with BPD and after 3 yrs of suffering i decided to end my life on Nov 21, 2021. I overdosed myself with lamotrigine, fluoxetine, oxcarbemazepine, mirtazepine. Before I lost consciousness i open tinder to delete it but I got a text from a person named Bhaskar and we immediately connect, we was so much caring and i regretted taking those meds and praying i that I will wake up. I fall unconscious after few minutes and later I woke up at hospital. I got discharged and i immediately texted him back. There were around 50+ texts from him and he was worried. I texted him back and we strated talking. We grew closed. He was very much caring. As I had bad relationship with my parents and no friends, he became my best friend. But I was hesitant about relationship but he was very much persuasive and after few wks I gave in. He was a good looking, well educated guy. Within short span of time he filled me with happiness. He was so exited about me, wrote poems about me, i strated to open up, told him about my childhood abuse, sexual assault and that was the first i ever articulated those. In short he saved me.
Days passed and my 22nd birthday was coming and he planned a date ( my first ever date, and my first ever birthday cake) i went there with a friend ( and my friends friends (daksh)). Daksh looked like my ex and i got panic attack. Fast forward Bhaskar came, rest 3 of us were med student and bhaskar was the older (28). We retured and he came to my home ( I live alone).
I had this habit of motion sickness and on my way back I got that. Instead of Bhaskar, daksh got me medicine and more caring. Bhaskar and i shared airpods and listened to some Taylor Swift and Billie. We reached home and i fall on bed. At that time I was already on antidepressants and it had sexual side-effects. After 15 mins of reaching he initiated and i didn't reciprocate and he got angry, I was afraid that he will leave so I did whatever he said and he proceeded to make fun of me not getting erection. It was awkward but I was already attached to him. U know BPD traits, either worship someone or hate someone to the core, no in between.
Days passed everything was fine. But he started doubting me with daksh and I can assure I had no such feelings for him. I only loved Bhaskar. Fights become a daily thing. He used to visit me on weekends and do his thing, doesn't matter if I'm worn out from night shift and by dealing with lots of hormonal pregnant ladies. He will wake me up at 3/4Am just to get his stuff around and sometimes while I'm sleeping. Besides that he was very nice to me. He taught me basic life hacks, how to go out, how to talk to people, how to do grocery, tax, online payment etc. He made me join gym. He used to help me with studies. Help me prepare for PGT exam etc etc. Slowly he became more insecure of daksh, both hated each other. I was growing closer and closer with daksh but we had only professional relationship. He used to teach me medicine as he was one year senior than me. Fast forward, Bhaskar told me that he told his sister about me and gave her number. I just kept it and didn't text. He was proud of me, he uses to say, something so rare that i never used to hear. He was 28 and parents were talking about marriage, i laughed and said you aren't getting married right? He didn't said anything and buy rather brust out and said, at home they are running my peace and here you. Let me do one thing, I'll kill myself. I didn't say anything
After few months i was adopting a dog , at first he was supportive but on the day of adoption he called me and started screaming at me. Said I'm kid myself and I'm not capable of taking care of a dog. How cruel i have to be take a puppy away from his mother. That puppy will die if i adopt. And later he admitted he was jealous that my attention will get divided between him and the puppy.
Time flew. His marriage thing came out again and this time he said he is getting married. I begged him not to do so. I reasoned as much as i can. He has a sister, i asked him will he be happy if his sister marry and gay man and his brother in law has a boyfriend. He said he will kill that person. Then i ask why the double standards? He diverted the question He said and i quote " i want to marry, have kids to make my mum happy and i want to be with you too, but he can't marry. You have to stay with me till the end" I called him a hypocrite and called it off.
No contact for weeks and my BPD got worse as he forced me not to take those meds cuz we weren't having good sex cuz of the side effects.
He texted again and as always blamed everything on me. Told me he opened tinder and meeting people, told me I'm psychotic, i deserve my past and he hates me more than he hates his father.
I was emotionally shut down. My final mbbs exam was approaching and i didn't care. I called him and told him I'm not doing well. He inturn told me he is having great sex. He body-shamed me ( yep due to depression I lost lots of weight and was struggling with eating).
Idk what happened, he came back and was talking nicely, it was a surprise visit, I had surgery exam that day and after that I was just laying lifeless on my bed . He came in, no reaction from me. He slept next to me and all i did was shed a tear. He started kissing and became rough. I was already part dead and I had no energy to fight back. He tied my hand and dis whatever he wanted, few times i tried to push him away but i couldn't,so i just stayed there. After he was done, I said nothing. He came near and kissed my forehead and said I love you. I said nothing. Later that evening we took me out for dinner. I just sat there and ate nothing. People were looking at us. We came back and he again shouted at me. He felt humiliated by how i reacted outside and said let's break-up. I said okay. And went to my other room and took 5 clonazepam and fell unconscious. Next day i woke up at 2 pm and he wasn't there. Since then i haven't saw him
Despite everything I passed my med exam and started my internship. It was 18th December 2022, he texted and wished me happy birthday. And proceeded to ask me choose a girl for him to marry. And he said no matter whom he marry, I'll always be his first priority. I said nothing, no reply. I was numb inside. 31st December 2022, everything strated to unfold, I was alone, i called daksh he was busy and at the end i called Bhaskar, told him I can't stop my suicidal thoughts, i need help. He asked me to act on my thoughts and never contact him again. And i did. I ended up in icu. After 5 days of stay I was released, everybody came to know about me, my preference but instead of being ashamed i embraced it. Daksh was with me in every step. I wanted revenge, so i texted his sister. I thought he knew about me and Bhaskar but turned out he lied. I threatened to send his nudes ( giving me a bj) to his mother but in reality I had no picture like that. He was scared and called me multiple times and i didn't pick up.
It's been 926 days now but I'm not able to get over him. No matter what happened I love him . I still write about him in my poetry, I saw him in my dreams (nightmare to be specific). I'm not able to fall in love or trust anyone. I get panic attack almost weekly. I did therapy, meds nothing helped. I'm ruining my life and career and I don't know what to do about. How to let this go. So please give me advices.

Tisishen Part Continued..
I was stuck at my current work at Mao’ye. A mall in the central part of Taiyuan in Shanxi. Coal dust central China. Frequent dust storms leaving me having to wipe the window sills of dust piles collecting. Life felt dry as the air—numb. I never know what I want. Drifting like paper in a breeze.
23 and feeling empty. Left the previous English training center I working at teaching adults. Company started going bankrupt. Boss was an asshole. He was originally from Datong near to Inner Mongolia.
That boss ran the company horribly. Was a coward of a boss. He would watch the cameras and email complaints on my dress code and not talk to me in person. A coward.
When the company was nosediving I got sent an email in the middle of the day stating my job would be terminated by the end of the month. I worked in china as an American. In china most jobs are based on contracts between employees and employers. I was supposed to continue another seven months with my job. The contract was broken when they emailed me saying they could not keep me due to salary. Contracts can be broken due to performance but not due to finance issues. I had already work for them a year on another contract. The law in China states I was due to be paid a year and a half of salary. My boss was such a coward to not speak to me in person and email the letter. I marched in his office and got told to fuck myself. I talked to the labor board at the local government office. I was told was told that I that they would have to pay me a year and a half of salary for breaking my contract.
Those times were rather gray for me. Clouds were heavy like gnats flying around the face. My girlfriend at the time was a stern nurse. The girl made of paper. She stayed beside. My fortress. Put up for adoption by her family in Henan. Where her adopted mother would put her hands in scolding hot water for punishment. She marched into my boss’s office and created a storm. He refused to budge. A few days later when the labor office contacted him he was willing to keep me for the rest of my contract. The labor office said that because my job was offered back I could not be paid if I left my job, as it would be my choice at that point. Frustrating. My wife had her uncle’s boss contacted from Taiyuan to go into the office. She had some influence in the area. She threatened to look over various certificates to get the branch in trouble. My boss did not budge. I decided to just go ahead and leave this English training center for teaching adults. I went for a new company that paid more passed in the Moye mall on the other end of the city. Now I would be teaching children again like I used.
Is this all I am? A server?
It makes me think of a time right before I met the woman made of paper. Stern from her experiences. A fighter. I like fighters.
I met fighters before. Reminds me of a story. A story I hold deeply to my heart. There was a woman named Ming. I met her through surfing on WeChat nearby searching for people looking for others nearby. Older by a few years. Met and became acquainted over messages.
Christmas tree lights in my head
Perched to be exploited…
Balloon with the air let out
Hissing all the time… because it whines
The inferno in me wants me to burn
Because it feels right
Christmas trees lit are under pressure—they know if they dry up the whole building will be in flames
So you have to be festive when you decorate—and avant-garde with who you decorate with
Maximalist at heart with pleasure
Nomads tend to wander to find a better part of the steppe
With a phallus as a Swiss Army Knife,
Paddling in northern China building a trench
22 year old Midwesterner with psychosis looking for a frigate to save him from the deep end
Impulsivity a catalyst for losing everything
I don’t care if you’re married, if you have a tunnel you can help me in the trench
Two staged rocket—
Already psychotic
Be a Launchpad
So I can get even further from earth
Ripple through the galaxy like I got a mission—
Even if it’s delusional
Another N1
Get myself on disconnect in the vacuum
Even if I come down Iike napalm.
I met Ming because I needed her and she needed me-even if she was married. I was 23 and without security. MY first job that I forgot from my boss Ryan was insane at times. Working without a visa for a company was unbearable. I felt obligated to my boss at that time he promised he could solve my issue if I worked hard for him. And I did. He was a bit corrupt too and not the greatest. Always offering going to brothels with people to make deals happen, including trying with me too. I never went. I did work hard for him though. I wanted to escape my predicament and he knew all the right people to contact to fix my problems if I met my obligations. Obligations could mean being asked to go to another training center to work part time and gather their curriculum for my school.
It felt unstable not knowing when I could get arrested or taken away. Made Ming a perfect connection to come across. I needed a friend that brought stability. She was a radio broadcaster in the city. Extremely wealthy. She would take me on outings eating delicious cuisine in the city or among weekend trips to interesting places nearby. I consider her one of the greatest friends I had. Because of her it was getting to meet other connections at outings with friends at KTV and clubs in the city. Like rhizomes growing out of a tree. Sustainability. It led to more rhizomes of connections. Something I want to talk more about. But I need to move the clock a bit. To the start of this ramble.
I was working in Maoye. I was on a legal visa at this time. My colleagues were not legal. They were often Slavic. Russian, Ukraine, and other Slavic nations. We had an office in the building setup on a third floor of a large mal with various classrooms for the foreign teachers to teach in. They would generally have a Chinese teaching assistant to help them in the classrooms. I taught students from pre-k age to middle school there.
In the middle of the setup of the floor layout was a large open office. I would sit and plan lessons and grade amongst the Chinese staff and foreign teachers. One day I grep of plain clothed officers came into the facility. They were checking on teachers on the wrong visas. The Russian teachers and others often could not fluently speak English or qualify for the correct visas—they didn’t meet the right requirements for work visas and would be on other various kinds of visas. They stormed in and I remember my Russian friend hearing the commotion tore his shirt with his logo on it and threw it on the ground in a rush. He ran shirtless down a stair well nearby flinging the doors open. Fear, anger… got to fill their class schedule while they are all out hiding.
Final Taishen
I met Chang’e. Do you believe in the transplanting of thoughts? I do. Like pollen.
My thoughts can transplant and Change can do the same too.
Mania got me again. I wrote a poem when I was younger to express it.
Feeling bold and exacerbated
Maybe I am just high strung
Ricocheting off these walls like bumper cars
A sparkler burning hot and bright
Popping off like roman candles
I am not always calm, but I am high,
A kettle left on the burner and forgotten,
Watch me melt away into my ecstasy
Where I dance and scream all in one
I’ll hit peak when crisis comes.
I hadn’t been sleeping. I took a second English teaching job and was seeing attending to seeing different people besides Ming.
Ming was kind and always took me on nice dinner dates. I didn’t have to worry about expenses and felt secure.
I was back on my smartphone looking and fishing for people nearby. Chang’e came in as a breeze from Luoyang to meeting a relative in Taiyuan.
Chang’e was working for a boss in Taiyuan. She would go on the WeChat application looking for men nearby. Flirt to get them to meet her. Like moths in dark they get to the lights:
Useless as a glass door. You can peek through. Pigeon-toed. Drained an ocean to fill insecurities. Uncomfortable thoughts ricochet in me. Like an ambush. Giddy when disappointed. I build trenches amongst the tripwires of life. City feels like a tsunami. Manners like a bloated tick. Sipping the veins from any limb around me. As a stranger to a moth, a porch light pulling. Desolate in lost thoughts. Nights awake and bunkering in hotels. Soft in my voice, I hopscotch to hands—falling through like particles of sand. With enough friction to set off an atom bomb. To radiate right through me, and hollow my marrow. Amongst open nerves I can feel something, so I play with the pain. No matter how annoying.
As particles I transplanted through to her screen as we lay in our separate beds in the city. Mania makes me dumb. We flattered away. Fused as particles.
Her intent was for me to arrive at a designated location to drink and eat late into the night—11:00 p.m. With this given location I would be taken down like an elephant via poachers—that was the intent. At the location I was to be given an outrageous bill for the service and if I did not pay a group of big men would use their physical presence to get me to pay.
When I met her at the given location outside the door. I knew the tricks. I tested her. Asked if she would be willing to eat at another location.
She thought she would eat me and I thought I would eat her. My test was asking her to go to another place at the KTV nearby where I knew somebody that worked there—a karaoke location—the LED lights shining and me and her staring at the direction of them.
She hesitated and insisted on the location next to us. I said I had to go—before I left to contact if willing in the future to go to the KTV.
Where a perpetual hydrogen bomb would go off on our fused particles.
………. Final
The End
Her name was Lily. She wanted to be a princess. Or that is what she said all the time. Kind of hope she was joking. But I have the same problem. She kept talking about peaches and their rising cost. She was a host for live streaming . She was Korean but was cosmopolitan. She spent time in america going to school and aside from English she also learned to speak Japanese fluently .
She wanted to know if peaches were of a similar price back in america. Small talk is necessary or it can feel claustrophobic. Agonizing.
I was viewing and felt agony. Like so many do. I needed more and better than the life I felt.
Imagine calling 988 for a bit of help. You are isolated and all alone in your predicament. Where is the support? Why I get a robot on the line talking to me telling me to wait—where are the humans?
Alienation n the chamber of life. That is my life as Taishen.
Lily and her viewers provided a sense of community that I did not have. And it appears she was a contact with Chang’e via streaming that I did not know.
I am just Luo feeling alienated and climbing over the wall to get some needed assistance. Comfort amongst cold—sanctuary—hope. I was staying in Zhengzhou at this time. Originally from the flower city of Luoyang in Henan—a central province of China. I was working at the Foxxconn factory—where parts of the IPhone were made—largest iPhone factory based in China. I have to ear to feed my family like anyone else. I have a 7 year old daughter being watched by my mother in law in Luoyang—my wife was working in guangzhou at a factory. I never get to see my wife. I had feelings she might be in a relationship with a man in guangzhou. How can she be blamed? She has no love around. Her just like I don’t. If my wife is with another I might as well do my best to find connection. To stay afloat. Brushing gifts to a live streamer. I was even starting to pick up on new languages like Japanese, English, and Korean by doing it. My life was a trap. I must work to bring security to my wife who cannot bring security to me. To leave her would cause me to lose face and I would rather die than face that. Life can never be ordinary for me.
The days and habits of finding a sanctuary on an iPhone that I had to slave away and make amongst my unhappiness was a cruel punishment for just being me. I always am the victim. I’m unable to deceive myself to be happy. Nobody to hold me—I am a fish out of water. I feel the tension pull me like hooks trying to rip me into confetti—I am sure some would applaud at the sight of me being gone.
News and gossip of a virus running around like a plague. From Wuhan. Amusing as my former love came from there when we met in university. She left me like everyone else. I need Freon like a freezer to cook the hate off I feel inside me. I blend in my feelings of worth and self until it spatters as something abstract and abhorrent—like mold on a wall.
Aside from live stream hosts, I found an escape smoking hashish and going to the local brothel with colleagues. I ventured further and further from recognizing who I am. And the news of COVID had only made it worse. And n my hometown near Luoyang they put dirt and and tree trunks to block the roads to keep people from coming in and going out. I went along like getting stuck in thorny bushes and my calves left burnt. The factory became like a firecracker left held in hands pointing up to the sky. Like there is a thing like hope. There is none—gone like air out of a balloon. My fate was stolen away.
Security wanes no matter the solidity of the rock—just take enough rain to form a flood to erode—like banks as paper—pretty on the outside but not secure when the money is all gone.
Within the factory we were not receiving our allowances like we did before. Amongst stress of Covid and its unknowns we became like fish in a shrinking pool of water—agitated and biting each others scales. Abrasion. Friction. An unleashed turmoil to become a tsunami of emotions. Class felt like an overhead lamp causing the eyes to go red and burn.
Cases popped up like sprouting trees with rhizomes. When we wanted our own rooms we were told it was not a possibility. Healthy stuck with sick like classes mixing—a metaphor of it all—anger soar like geyser. Covid became a judicial sentence. Amongst a couple months before the banks failed and people could not get the money they put in. Large sums! And when the anger rose it set off the codes on our phones. Everyone must show their status. If one was positive for Covid their icon was red to indicate level of restriction—one must stay home regardless if the food that came from the government was fresh or if it even ever came at all. Green was good. But soon if you criticized the banking failure your code was red to keep one quit. The virus was the police—a means to shut up somebody like a baton. And the batons would come at the factory. Causes soon that political red of a dot was mixed with the green to allow infection to the healthy, which mean the baton of the government saying the worth of us—we were meant to shut up and is our part at the factory and ass caged dogs. Like the paper banks—when the money ran out the codes were sent to red to keep mouths homes while plain clothes cops beat the working class in the name of the communist party. Our party became paradoxical as the sickle and hammer—as it became more of the baton to make the money run and build the iPhones that make happy elites in Beijing who couldn’t care about zhengzhou. Like ants escaping the confines of an anthill drowning in the rain. Popping like bubbles in anguish.
Everything was blended in this world. Even Lily was not who she seemed. But I rather save that for another time.
The bubble was extended and the people left the confines of their residents on the company grounds despite orders that all must stay within due to COVID. Enough had formed for rebellion. Outside on the grounds the workers threw rocks, bottles, and metal fence at security in to shut them up. The batons came. iPhones were out to record what was happening. The image was bad and the workers were paid to leave the commotion and uprising as a means of saving face.
Heaven’s mandate was showing—the promise that all would be in order from the authority provided over all—no natural disasters—and I could smell flood water in the future. Beijing was not so efficiently coupled to Henan. And the security provided was looking like a facade—like glowing skyscrapers pointing at heaven—but in reality most of the buildings had nothing inside of them—bubbles to burst like the agitation felt at Foxconn.
Lily was a facade—Lily was actually Chang’e putting a show on iPhones, with perpetual hooks extending like a limb from the screen for men to bite on. Money like a work for hungry sparrows everywhere—a curse running through the zeitgeist of the time—and it was looking like the concrete was crumbling around the barriers to keep floodwaters out.
I want to laugh at the thought of small talk on peaches—the irrigation dug to make land fertile was looking more like the weapon to cause immense harm—there was a contagion besides COVID—the act of treating others as an end instead of ends to themselves—agency lost. It the slap of reality was going to come like a comet wiping extinct the good and the bad—as the water would come and cause the loss of life. In Shangqiu a girl of paper was abandoned by parents in poverty while some officials sent their kids to school abroad with sports cars—one of those princesses ran over someone and even thought heaven made him too perfect to face Justice. Something was wrong and scarily felt like it just begun.

We all know the folklore love triangle is not fictional and I always just assumed from the theories that Betty is either Dianna or Karlie. But I was analyzing the parallels between Taylor and Lana’s lyrics and it lead me down another rabbit hole. Always just assumed Lana was straight but what if Betty is actually Lana ???
Million Dollar Man: “one for the money two for the show I love you honey I’m ready I’m ready to go”
Champagne Problems: “one for the money two for the show I never was ready so I watched you go”
The title of Taylor’s 2015 Vogue shoot with Karlie Kloss was “two for the show”
Taylor drives a ford thunderbird by the beach in Big Sur. Karlie even highlighted that Taylor is a good driver.
In Lana’s demo for Textbook which is called “If I go Blonde” she says,
“Then there was the ISSUE of her” (vogue issue???)
“You drive a thunderbird my daddy has one too…do you think if I go blonde we could get our old love back”
In Coney Island Taylor says, “ Sorry for not making you my centrefold“ which could mean she was thinking about someone else during that vogue shoot because it caused a lot of speculation about who her main muse was and everyone suspects it’s Karlie and not her actual “true love”
This relates to Betty and the love triangle. So if James is Taylor and Augustine is Karlie, what if Betty is Lana (aka. Elizabeth)
There was also the note with the wilted daisy that we reference with the trip. In Lana’s poem the land of 1000 fires she literally calls herself her muse’s “wilting daisy” and her muse has “blue steel eyes”
There are so many more parallels it’s insane and ttpd hints at this quite a bit. Taylor seems to write the same story over and over from the beginning and it’s the same case for Lana.

SHREK
Once upon a time there was a lovely
princess. But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort which could
only be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded
by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
Many brave knights had attempted to
free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed. She waited in the
dragon's keep in the highest room of
the tallest tower for her true love
and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
Like that's ever gonna happen. What
a load of - (toilet flush)
Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
after the ogre.
NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME
MAN1
Think it's in there?
MAN2
All right. Let's get it!
MAN1
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
thing can do to you?
MAN3
Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
bread.
Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.
SHREK
Yes, well, actually, that would be a
giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
They'll make a suit from your freshly
peeled skin.
MEN
No!
SHREK
They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
quite good on toast.
MAN1
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
(waves the torch at Shrek.)
Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
men are in the dark.
SHREK
This is the part where you run away.
(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
And stay out! (looks down and picks
up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
throws the paper over his shoulder.)
THE NEXT DAY
There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard
sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures
to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line
are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto
who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three
little pigs.
GUARD
All right. This one's full. Take it
away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!
HEAD GUARD
Next!
GUARD
(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!
Your flying days are over. (breaks the
broom in half)
HEAD GUARD
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
Next!
GUARD
Get up! Come on!
HEAD GUARD
Twenty pieces.
LITTLE BEAR
(crying) This cage is too small.
DONKEY
Please, don't turn me in. I'll never
be stubborn again. I can change. Please!
Give me another chance!
OLD WOMAN
Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)
DONKEY
Oh!
HEAD GUARD
Next! What have you got?
GIPETTO
This little wooden puppet.
PINOCCHIO
I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his
nose grows)
HEAD GUARD
Five shillings for the possessed toy.
Take it away.
PINOCCHIO
Father, please! Don't let them do this!
Help me!
Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up
to the table.
HEAD GUARD
Next! What have you got?
OLD WOMAN
Well, I've got a talking donkey.
HEAD GUARD
Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,
if you can prove it.
OLD WOMAN
Oh, go ahead, little fella.
Donkey just looks up at her.
HEAD GUARD
Well?
OLD WOMAN
Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little
nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you boneheaded dolt...
HEAD GUARD
That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
OLD WOMAN
No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends
to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to
talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing
you ever saw.
HEAD GUARD
Get her out of my sight.
OLD WOMAN
No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One
of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's
hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled
with fairy dust and he's able to fly.
DONKEY
Hey! I can fly!
PETER PAN
He can fly!
3 LITTLE PIGS
He can fly!
HEAD GUARD
He can talk!
DONKEY
Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm
a flying, talking donkey. You might
have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey
fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins
to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink
to the ground.)
He hits the ground with a thud.
HEAD GUARD
Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)
After him!
GUARDS
He's getting away! Get him! This way!
Turn!
Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.
Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared
for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He
quickly hides behind Shrek.
HEAD GUARD
You there. Ogre!
SHREK
Aye?
HEAD GUARD
By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized
to place you both under arrest and transport
you to a designated resettlement facility.
SHREK
Oh, really? You and what army?
He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well
and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail
and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and
begins walking back to his cottage.
DONKEY
Can I say something to you? Listen,
you was really, really, really somethin'
back here. Incredible!
SHREK
Are you talkin' to...(he turns around
and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back
around and Donkey is right in front
of him.) Whoa!
DONKEY
Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell
you that you that you was great back
here? Those guards! They thought they
was all of that. Then you showed up,
and bam! They was trippin' over themselves
like babes in the woods. That really
made me feel good to see that.
SHREK
Oh, that's great. Really.
DONKEY
Man, it's good to be free.
SHREK
Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
DONKEY
But, uh, I don't have any friends. And
I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,
wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll
stick with you. You're mean, green,
fightin' machine. Together we'll scare
the spit out of anybody that crosses
us.
Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very
loudly.
DONKEY
Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you
don't mind me sayin', if that don't
work, your breath certainly will get
the job done, 'cause you definitely
need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause
you breath stinks! You almost burned
the hair outta my nose, just like the
time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey
continues to talk, so Shrek removes
his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten
berries. I had strong gases leaking
out of my butt that day.
SHREK
Why are you following me?
DONKEY
I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause
I'm all alone, There's no one here beside
me, My problems have all gone, There's
no one to deride me, But you gotta have
faith...
SHREK
Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't
have any friends.
DONKEY
Wow. Only a true friend would be that
cruelly honest.
SHREK
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at
me. What am I?
DONKEY
(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really
tall?
SHREK
No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your
torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that
bother you?
DONKEY
Nope.
SHREK
Really?
DONKEY
Really, really.
SHREK
Oh.
DONKEY
Man, I like you. What's you name?
SHREK
Uh, Shrek.
DONKEY
Shrek? Well, you know what I like about
you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me
thing. I like that. I respect that,
Shrek. You all right. (They come over
a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)
Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live
in place like that?
SHREK
That would be my home.
DONKEY
Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
You know you are quite a decorator.
It's amazing what you've done with such
a modest budget. I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder. I guess you
don't entertain much, do you?
SHREK
I like my privacy.
DONKEY
You know, I do too. That's another thing
we have in common. Like I hate it when
you got somebody in your face. You've
trying to give them a hint, and they
won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
(awkward silence) Can I stay wit' you?
SHREK
Uh, what?
DONKEY
Can I stay wit' you, please?
SHREK
(sarcastically) Of course!
DONKEY
Really?
SHREK
No.
DONKEY
Please! I don't wanna go back there!
You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. (pause while he
looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.
But that's why we gotta stick together.
You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
SHREK
Okay! Okay! But one night only.
DONKEY
Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)
SHREK
What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto
a chair.) No! No!
DONKEY
This is gonna be fun! We can stay up
late, swappin' manly stories, and in
the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
SHREK
Oh!
DONKEY
Where do, uh, I sleep?
SHREK
(irritated) Outside!
DONKEY
Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,
I don't know you, and you don't know
me, so I guess outside is best, you
know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek
slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do
like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was
born outside. I'll just be sitting by
myself outside, I guess, you know. By
myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's
no one here beside me...
SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT
Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights
a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a
noise. He stands up with a huff.
SHREK
(to Donkey) I thought I told you to
stay outside.
DONKEY
(from the window) I am outside.
There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that
made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns
and spots 3 blind mice on his table.
BLIND MOUSE1
Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
farm, but what choice do we have?
BLIND MOUSE2
It's not home, but it'll do just fine.
GORDO
(bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.
SHREK
Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes
and lands on his shoulder.)
GORDO
I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's
ear)
SHREK
Ow!
GORDO
Blah! Awful stuff.
BLIND MOUSE1
Is that you, Gordo?
GORDO
How did you know?
SHREK
Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are
you doing in my house? (He gets bumped
from behind and he drops the mice.)
Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves
with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,
no, no. Dead broad off the table.
DWARF
Where are we supposed to put her? The
bed's taken.
SHREK
Huh?
Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.
The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at
him.
BIG BAD WOLF
What?
TIME LAPSE
Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging
him to the front door.
SHREK
I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm
a terrifying ogre! What do I have to
do get a little privacy? (He opens the
front door to throw the Wolf out and
he sees that all the collected Fairy
Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,
no. No! No!
The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his
pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing
flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.
SHREK
What are you doing in my swamp? (this
echoes and everyone falls silent.)
Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a
tent.
SHREK
All right, get out of here. All of you,
move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more
dwarves run inside the house) No, no!
No, no. Not there. Not there. (they
shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to
look at Donkey)
DONKEY
Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite
them.
PINOCCHIO
Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
SHREK
What?
PINOCCHIO
We were forced to come here.
SHREK
(flabbergasted) By who?
LITTLE PIG
Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed
and he...signed an eviction notice.
SHREK
(heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?
Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.
DONKEY
Oh, I do. I know where he is.
SHREK
Does anyone else know where to find
him? Anyone at all?
DONKEY
Me! Me!
SHREK
Anyone?
DONKEY
Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!
Me, me!
SHREK
(sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy
tale things. Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out.
In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
right now and get you all off my land
and back where you came from! (Pause.
Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)
You! You're comin' with me.
DONKEY
All right, that's what I like to hear,
man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
friends, off on a whirlwind big-city
adventure. I love it!
DONKEY
(singing) On the road again. Sing it
with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get
on the road again.
SHREK
What did I say about singing?
DONKEY
Can I whistle?
SHREK
No.
DONKEY
Can I hum it?
SHREK
All right, hum it.
Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.
DULOC - KITCHEN
A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually
dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.
FARQUAAD
That's enough. He's ready to talk.
The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down
onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the
table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes
up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.
FARQUAAD
(he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs
and plays with them) Run, run, run,
as fast as you can. You can't catch
me. I'm the gingerbread man.
GINGERBREAD MAN
You are a monster.
FARQUAAD
I'm not the monster here. You are. You
and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell
me! Where are the others?
GINGERBREAD MAN
Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's
eye.)
FARQUAAD
I've tried to be fair to you creatures.
Now my patience has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to
pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)
GINGERBREAD MAN
No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop
buttons.
FARQUAAD
All right then. Who's hiding them?
GINGERBREAD MAN
Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the
muffin man?
FARQUAAD
The muffin man?
GINGERBREAD MAN
The muffin man.
FARQUAAD
Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives
on Drury Lane?
GINGERBREAD MAN
Well, she's married to the muffin man.
FARQUAAD
The muffin man?
GINGERBREAD MAN
The muffin man!
FARQUAAD
She's married to the muffin man.
The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.
HEAD GUARD
My lord! We found it.
FARQUAAD
Then what are you waiting for? Bring
it in.
More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.
They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic
Mirror.
GINGERBREAD MAN
(in awe) Ohhhh...
FARQUAAD
Magic mirror...
GINGERBREAD MAN
Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks
him up and dumps him into a trash can
with a lid.) No!
FARQUAAD
Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Is this not the most perfect kingdom
of them all?
MIRROR
Well, technically you're not a king.
FARQUAAD
Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a
hand mirror and smashes it with his
fist.) You were saying?
MIRROR
What I mean is you're not a king yet.
But you can become one. All you have
to do is marry a princess.
FARQUAAD
Go on.
MIRROR
(chuckles nervously) So, just sit back
and relax, my lord, because it's time
for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
And here they are! Bachelorette number
one is a mentally abused shut-in from
a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi
and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies
include cooking and cleaning for her
two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
(shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette
number two is a cape-wearing girl from
the land of fancy. Although she lives
with seven other men, she's not easy.
Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
find out what a live wire she is. Come
on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows
picture of Snow White) And last, but
certainly not last, bachelorette number
three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded
castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!
But don't let that cool you off. She's
a loaded pistol who likes pina colads
and getting caught in the rain. Yours
for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows
picture of Princess Fiona) So will it
be bachelorette number one, bachelorette
number two or bachelorette number three?
GUARDS
Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!
FARQUAAD
Three? One? Three?
THELONIUS
Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number
three, my lord!
FARQUAAD
Okay, okay, uh, number three!
MIRROR
Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess
Fiona.
FARQUAAD
Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I
have to do is just find someone who
can go...
MIRROR
But I probably should mention the little
thing that happens at night.
FARQUAAD
I'll do it.
MIRROR
Yes, but after sunset...
FARQUAAD
Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona
my queen, and DuLoc will finally have
the perfect king! Captain, assemble
your finest men. We're going to have
a tournament. (smiles evilly)
DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section
Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking
lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.
DONKEY
But that's it. That's it right there.
That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.
SHREK
So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
DONKEY
Uh-huh. That's the place.
SHREK
Do you think maybe he's compensating
for something?
(He laughs, but then
groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke.
He continues walking through the parking
lot.)
DONKEY
Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
MAN
Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
SHREK
Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing
a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad,
screams and begins running through the
rows of rope to get to the front gate
to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second.
Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just

• - I just - - (He sighs and then begins

walking straight through the rows. The
attendant runs into a wall and falls
down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then
continue on into DuLoc.)
DULOC
They look around but all is quiet.
SHREK
It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?
DONKEY
Hey, look at this!
Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box
marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors
open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin
to sing.
WOODEN PEOPLE
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
Here we have some rules
Let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine
DuLoc is perfect place
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
DuLoc is, DuLoc is
DuLoc is perfect place.
Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.
DONKEY
Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready
to run over and pull the lever again)
SHREK
(grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still)
No. No. No, no, no! No.
They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.
FARQUAAD
Brave knights. You are the best and
brightest in all the land. Today one
of you shall prove himself...
As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena
Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.
SHREK
All right. You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom.
DONKEY
Sorry about that.
FARQUAAD
That champion shall have the honor -

• no, no - - the privilege to go forth

and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona
from the fiery keep of the dragon. If
for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
the first runner-up will take his place
and so on and so forth. Some of you
may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing
to make. (cheers) Let the tournament
begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is
that? It's hideous!
SHREK
(turns to look at Donkey and then back
at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice.
It's just a donkey.
FARQUAAD
Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who
kills the ogre will be named champion!
Have it him!
MEN
Get him!
SHREK
Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps
into a table where there are mugs of
beer)
CROWD
Go ahead! Get him!
SHREK
(holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just
settle this over a pint?
CROWD
Kill the beast!
SHREK
No? All right then. (drinks the beer)
Come on!
He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel
of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the
other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides
past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped.
As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger
beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll.
Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much
fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice
to say that Shrek kicks butt.
DONKEY
Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek
gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd.
SHREK
Yeah!
A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time
and sees him.
WOMAN
The chair! Give him the chair!
Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men
are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding
sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild.
SHREK
Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you
very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try
the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs)
The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on
Shrek.
HEAD GUARD
Shall I give the order, sir?
FARQUAAD
No, I have a better idea. People of
DuLoc, I give you our champion!
SHREK
What?
FARQUAAD
Congratulations, ogre. You're won the
honor of embarking on a great and noble
quest.
SHREK
Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest
to get my swamp back.
FARQUAAD
Your swamp?
SHREK
Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those
fairy tale creatures!
FARQUAAD
Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you
a deal. Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.
SHREK
Exactly the way it was?
FARQUAAD
Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
SHREK
And the squatters?
FARQUAAD
As good as gone.
SHREK
What kind of quest?
Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field
heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion.
DONKEY
Let me get this straight. You're gonna
go fight a dragon and rescue a princess
just so Farquaad will give you back
a swamp which you only don't have because
he filled it full of freaks in the first
place. Is that about right?
SHREK
You know, maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
DONKEY
I don't get it. Why don't you just pull
some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle
him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds
his bones to make your bread, the whole
ogre trip.
SHREK
Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have
decapitated an entire village and put
their heads on a pike, gotten a knife,
cut open their spleen and drink their
fluids. Does that sound good to you?
DONKEY
Uh, no, not really, no.
SHREK
For your information, there's a lot
more to ogres than people think.
DONKEY
Example?
SHREK
Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
(he holds out his onion)
DONKEY
(sniffs the onion) They stink?
SHREK
Yes - - No!
DONKEY
They make you cry?
SHREK
No!
DONKEY
You leave them in the sun, they get
all brown, start sproutin' little white
hairs.
SHREK
No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres
have layers! Onions have layers. You
get it? We both have layers. (he heaves
a sigh and then walks off)
DONKEY
(trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both
have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know,
not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody
loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
SHREK
I don't care... what everyone likes.
Ogres are not like cakes.
DONKEY
You know what else everybody likes?
Parfaits. Have you ever met a person,
you say, "Let's get some parfait," they
say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"?
Parfaits are delicious.
SHREK
No! You dense, irritating, miniature
beast of burden! Ogres are like onions!
And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
DONKEY
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
on the whole damn planet.
SHREK
You know, I think I preferred your humming.
DONKEY
Do you have a tissue or something? I'm
making a mess. Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.
They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through
a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying
to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem,
so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out.
DRAGON'S KEEP
Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to
house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano.
DONKEY
(sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
You gotta warn somebody before you just
crack one off. My mouth was open and
everything.
SHREK
Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd
be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We
must be getting close.
DONKEY
Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking
about it's the brimstone. I know what
I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It
didn't come off no stone neither.
They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There
is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where
the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very
foreboding.
SHREK
Sure, it's big enough, but look at the
location. (laughs...then the laugh turns
into a groan)
DONKEY
Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said
ogres have layers?
SHREK
Oh, aye.
DONKEY
Well, I have a bit of a confession to
make. Donkeys don't have layers. We
wear our fear right out there on our
sleeves.
SHREK
Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
DONKEY
You know what I mean.
SHREK
You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
DONKEY
No, I'm just a little uncomfortable
about being on a rickety bridge over
a boiling like of lava!
SHREK
Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside
ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll
just tackle this thing together one
little baby step at a time.
DONKEY
Really?
SHREK
Really, really.
DONKEY
Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
SHREK
Just keep moving. And don't look down.
DONKEY
Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.
Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't
look down. (he steps through a rotting
board and ends up looking straight down
into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me
off, please!
SHREK
But you're already halfway.
DONKEY
But I know that half is safe!
SHREK
Okay, fine. I don't have time for this.
You go back.
DONKEY
Shrek, no! Wait!
SHREK
Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance
then, shall me? (bounces and sways the
bridge)
DONKEY
Don't do that!
SHREK
Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces
the bridge again)
DONKEY
Yes, that!
SHREK
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to
bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across
the bridge)
DONKEY
No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
SHREK
You said do it! I'm doin' it.
DONKEY
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek,
I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground)
Oh!
SHREK
That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks
towards the castle)
DONKEY
Cool. So where is this fire-breathing
pain-in-the-neck anyway?
SHREK
Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
(chuckles)
DONKEY
I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
INSIDE THE CASTLE
DONKEY
You afraid?
SHREK
No.
DONKEY
But...
SHREK
Shh.
DONKEY
Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton
and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong
with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation.
Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might
add. With a dragon that breathes fire
and eats knights and breathes fire,
it sure doesn't mean you're a coward
if you're a little scared. I sure as
heck ain't no coward. I know that.
SHREK
Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up.
Now go over there and see if you can
find any stairs.
DONKEY
Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for
the princess.
SHREK
(putting on a helmet) The princess will
be up the stairs in the highest room
in the tallest tower.
DONKEY
What makes you think she'll be there?
SHREK
I read it in a book once. (walks off)
DONKEY
Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle
the stairs. I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs
won't know which way they're goin'.
(walks off)
EMPTY ROOM
Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room.
DONKEY
I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it
to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm
the stair master. I've mastered the
stairs. I wish I had a step right here.
I'd step all over it.
ELSEWHERE
Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window.
SHREK
Well, at least we know where the princess
is, but where's the...
DONKEY
(os) Dragon!
Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again.
Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon
breathes fire.
SHREK
Donkey, look out! (he manages to get
a hold of the dragons tail and holds
on) Got ya!
The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek
goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the
tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying
on the floor.
DONKEY
Oh! Aah! Aah!
Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small
part of the bridge he's on.
DONKEY
No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh,
what large teeth you have. (the dragon
growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth.
I know you probably hear this all time
from your food, but you must bleach,
'cause that is one dazzling smile you
got there. Do I detect a hint of minty
freshness? And you know what else? You're

• - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure!

I mean, of course you're a girl dragon.
You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
(the dragon begins fluttering her eyes
at him) What's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye? Ohh.
Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay,
but you know, I'm, uh...(the dragon
blows a smoke ring in the shape of a
heart right at him, and he coughs) I'm
an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd
work out if you're gonna blow smoke
rings. Shrek! (the dragon picks him
up with her teeth and carries him off)
No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
FIONA'S ROOM
Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Fiona
so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She
then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off
the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep.
Shrek turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Fiona for
a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders
and shakes her away.
FIONA
Oh! Oh!
SHREK
Wake up!
FIONA
What?
SHREK
Are you Princess Fiona?
FIONA
I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to
rescue me.
SHREK
Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
FIONA
But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our
first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful,
romantic moment?
SHREK
Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
FIONA
Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should
sweep me off my feet out yonder window
and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
SHREK
You've had a lot of time to plan this,
haven't you?
FIONA
(smiles) Mm-hmm.
Shrek breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down
the hallway.
FIONA
But we have to savor this moment! You
could recite an epic poem for me. A
ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
SHREK
I don't think so.
FIONA
Can I at least know the name of my champion?
SHREK
Uh, Shrek.
FIONA
Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds
out a handkerchief) I pray that you
take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
SHREK
Thanks!
Suddenly they hear the dragon roar.
FIONA
(surprised)You didn't slay the dragon?
SHREK
It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
(takes off running and drags Fiona behind
him.)
FIONA
But this isn't right! You were meant
to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.
That's what all the other knights did.
SHREK
Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
FIONA
That's not the point. (Shrek suddenly
stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek
ignores her and heads for a wooden door
off to the side.) Wait. Where are you
going? The exit's over there.
SHREK
Well, I have to save my ass.
FIONA
What kind of knight are you?
SHREK
One of a kind. (opens the door into
the throne room)
DONKEY
(os) Slow down. Slow down, baby, please.
I believe it's healthy to get to know
someone over a long period of time.
Just call me old-fashioned. (laughs
worriedly) (we see him up close and
from a distance as Shrek sneaks into
the room) I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally
ready for a commitment of, uh, this

• - Magnitude really is the word I'm

looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that
is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what
are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just
back up a little and take this one step
at a time. We really should get to know
each other first as friends or pen pals.
I'm on the road a lot, but I just love
receiving cards - - I'd really love
to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's
my tail! That's my personal tail. You're
gonna tear it off. I don't give permission

• - What are you gonna do with that?

Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No.
No, no, no. No! Oh!
Shrek grabs a chain that's connected to the chandelier and swings
toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again. He looks
up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head.
He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps
Donkey out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss him.
Instead the dragon kisses Shreks' butt. She opens her eyes and
roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto
her head, but it's too big and it goes over her head and forms
a sort of collar for her. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey
take off running. Very 'Matrix' style. Shrek grabs Donkey and
then grabs Princess Fiona as he runs past her.
DONKEY
Hi, Princess!
FIONA
It talks!
SHREK
Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's
the trick.
They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Shrek spots
a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a
crack in the stone and it hits Shrek right in the groin. His
eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide he stumbles
off and walks lightly.
SHREK
Oh!
Shrek gets them close to the exit and sets down Donkey and Fiona.
SHREK
Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll
take care of the dragon.
Shrek grabs a sword and heads back toward the interior of the
castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping
chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that
is still around the dragons neck.
SHREK
(echoing) Run!
They all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot
pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. The dragons
breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on
for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They
are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look
in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to
get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk the
dragon back and she's unable to get to them. Our gang climbs
quickly to safety as the dragon looks angry and then gives a
sad whimper as she watches Donkey walk away.
FIONA
(sliding down the 'volcano' hill) You
did it! You rescued me! You're amazing.
(behind her Donkey falls down the hill)
You're - - You're wonderful. You're...
(turns and sees Shrek fall down the
hill and bump into Donkey) a little
unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed
is great, and thy heart is pure. I am
eternally in your debt. (Donkey clears
his throat.) And where would a brave
knight be without his noble steed?
DONKEY
I hope you heard that. She called me
a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
FIONA
The battle is won. You may remove your
helmet, good Sir Knight.
S
of Farquaad's stature are in short supply.
(he and Donkey laugh)
Shrek then proceeds to splash water onto his face to wash off
the dust and grime.
DONKEY
I don't

Hey! Here's my vent. I write poems when I'm sad, and my mom has taken my computer and read them (I have like 40 poems now) but luckily she hasn't read the cutting/suicide ones, so ok. She literally said, "At least I stopped and didn't read the rest bc I'm a good person." and she also said she read the first 7. later said that she said that she read less than 7 and she lied to me bc she wanted me to feel bad. My mom says stuff to me, mean things, and gets angry or stressed the moment she sees me, and says really mean things, like how I'm ugly and a dumbshit and a bitch and stupid and how my brain is messed up and not working and how I'm selfish and have no emotions. She also says she would move away if she could, and she wants me to go to boarding school, and my dad said fuck you to me, and my mom said she hates me. She once said she wanted to kick me out of the family, and says that I'm immature and that's why my friends leave me. My parents are not always like this, but it really hurts. I tried to tell my mom how i felt a while ago, and now she uses it against me when she is angry. I move away or don't like when she touches me because of all this, but when I move away she says that I hate her. My brother hates me too and sides with my parents in these arguments. He calls me useless and clueless, and insults me a lot. He thinks all of it is my fault, and maybe it is. My bathroom lock and bedroom lock were taken out so they can stroll in my room whenever. I really wish i wasn't alive but i don't want to kill myself bc i have this life i have made up in my head about being an author next to the seaside with two cats and a cute cottage and I don't want to miss that when I grow up. I also have never had true love or even a best friend so I don't want to miss that either. So I'm stuck here until i go to college, which is in many years. I don't know what to do. Ive started to cut myself but summer is starting and my parents might be suspicious if i wear long sleeves. I do it from this razor in my bathroom, just shallow ones, and sometimes i wish they hurt more. But i have tons of bandaids on my arm that i cover with long sleeves. I wish i could skip ahead many years, and i wish i could go to boarding school, but i don't tell my parents that. What confuses me the most is that they are super sweet and then get really mean, and then they say it is my fault. My mom also cries because of me avoiding her and not answering good answers. Sometimes it is my fault that i am rude to them, but I just cant look at them the same way anymore. I sometimes wish i had a mom like the ones from my books, the ones who are sweet and understanding, and then i feel bad. Sometimes my feelings and darkness start to feel gross, and my poems are like disgusting. I feel like these feelings shouldn't be there and are uncalled for. I shouldn't be thinking about stuff like this. Now my parents put us in family therapy (This one was with me and my brother) and i gave like vague answers bc i did not feel comfortable with that therapist. My brother kept on saying stuff he hated about me and saying it was all my fault and i just smiled to hide the pain but it hurts. Because of my "I don't knows" and "not sures" the therapist got really angry and said that this situation was all my fault and that someone in my family had to hurt me so I'm hurting my family (but i really don't mean to hurt them) and she just said a lot of mean stuff, and to TOP IT ALL OFF she said that she thinks i really hurt underneath but i hide it and I was just like, "what i don't know what you're talking about I'm happy" and i smiled and smiled. And then now i have to have a private meeting with this family therapist who just yelled at me and said that i like hurting others which is ABSOLUTELY GREAT. and now i have so much homework and its getting late and i cant start it because i couldn't focus (I might have ADHD) but they are all projects due tomorrow and schools ending so i cant even ask for an extension. I couldn't calm down and was really stressed and then i cut myself. :(

Hey! Here's my vent. I write poems when I'm sad, and my mom has taken my computer and read them (I have like 40 poems now) but luckily she hasn't read the cutting/suicide ones, so ok. She literally said, "At least I stopped and didn't read the rest bc I'm a good person." and she also said she read the first 7. later said that she said that she read less than 7 and she lied to me bc she wanted me to feel bad. My mom says stuff to me, mean things, and gets angry or stressed the moment she sees me, and says really mean things, like how I'm ugly and a dumbshit and a bitch and stupid and how my brain is messed up and not working and how I'm selfish and have no emotions. She also says she would move away if she could, and she wants me to go to boarding school, and my dad said fuck you to me, and my mom said she hates me. She once said she wanted to kick me out of the family, and says that I'm immature and that's why my friends leave me. My parents are not always like this, but it really hurts. I tried to tell my mom how i felt a while ago, and now she uses it against me when she is angry. I move away or don't like when she touches me because of all this, but when I move away she says that I hate her. My brother hates me too and sides with my parents in these arguments. He calls me useless and clueless, and insults me a lot. He thinks all of it is my fault, and maybe it is. My bathroom lock and bedroom lock were taken out so they can stroll in my room whenever. I really wish i wasn't alive but i don't want to kill myself bc i have this life i have made up in my head about being an author next to the seaside with two cats and a cute cottage and I don't want to miss that when I grow up. I also have never had true love or even a best friend so I don't want to miss that either. So I'm stuck here until i go to college, which is in many years. I don't know what to do. Ive started to cut myself but summer is starting and my parents might be suspicious if i wear long sleeves. I do it from this razor in my bathroom, just shallow ones, and sometimes i wish they hurt more. But i have tons of bandaids on my arm that i cover with long sleeves. I wish i could skip ahead many years, and i wish i could go to boarding school, but i don't tell my parents that. What confuses me the most is that they are super sweet and then get really mean, and then they say it is my fault. My mom also cries because of me avoiding her and not answering good answers. Sometimes it is my fault that i am rude to them, but I just cant look at them the same way anymore. I sometimes wish i had a mom like the ones from my books, the ones who are sweet and understanding, and then i feel bad. Sometimes my feelings and darkness start to feel gross, and my poems are like disgusting. I feel like these feelings shouldn't be there and are uncalled for. I shouldn't be thinking about stuff like this. Now my parents put us in family therapy (This one was with me and my brother) and i gave like vague answers bc i did not feel comfortable with that therapist. My brother kept on saying stuff he hated about me and saying it was all my fault and i just smiled to hide the pain but it hurts. Because of my "I don't knows" and "not sures" the therapist got really angry and said that this situation was all my fault and that someone in my family had to hurt me so I'm hurting my family (but i really don't mean to hurt them) and she just said a lot of mean stuff, and to TOP IT ALL OFF she said that she thinks i really hurt underneath but i hide it and I was just like, "what i don't know what you're talking about I'm happy" and i smiled and smiled. And then now i have to have a private meeting with this family therapist who just yelled at me and said that i like hurting others which is ABSOLUTELY GREAT. and now i have so much homework and its getting late and i cant start it because i couldn't focus (I might have ADHD) but they are all projects due tomorrow and schools ending so i cant even ask for an extension. I couldn't calm down and was really stressed and then i cut myself. :(

my girlfriend had an emotional affair and broke up with me. i am considering reconciliation
my girlfriend and i have been together for 3 years.
i am 21 and she is 20. we have lived together basically the entire time and we have been living apart since d-day 2 months ago.
my girlfriend is a fearful avoidant partner. i can tell she loves me very much and that she cares. when we lived together, she cooked me meals everyday, she tried (and succeeded) with making me laugh, she got into my interests and music to feel closer to me, she was always so kind and sweet. she kissed me to sleep every night, held me when i cried.
i broke her trust 2 years ago when she found out about my porn addiction. i would frequently watch pornography and play interactive porn games. she was cheated on several times (7-8) by her ex-boyfriend and it has lead to a lot of insecurity within her.
i told her i would never watch it again because it bothered her so much. this was a really hard time in our relationship. she has a higher sex drive than me yet i proceeded to continue and watch it (and hide it) but she discovered it every single time that i did. we had open access to each others devices and i hid it on every single device i owned. she found it. every time.
she told me she felt she was ugly, that she felt like she wasnt enough for me. she was insecure, she felt uncared for. she told me she wasnt mad at me, she told me she was disappointed and angry that i had lied to her and hid it. she discovered it 3 times before i finally realized i was truly hurting her and stopped. she forgave me every time
she still struggles with feeling like she cannot trust me all the way. i have seen her confidence go up and down but she was never that same girl as before. but our relationship has grown stronger. it has gotten better but she tells me it still crosses her mind- but not as often as before.
around 3 months ago, she found out that her mom was at risk for post-stroke dementia. she did not take this information well and grew distant from me. combined with stress of living independently for the first time, struggles with depression, she was always open about her feelings.
she told me (before her infidelity) that she felt like i was pushing her away and that she feared the end of our relationship. she told me she felt loved by compliments and words of affirmation. she would bring this up every once in a while (once a month 3-4 months before her infidelity) and that she needed security because of her past, not because of me. these discussions would end with her sobbing, basically begging me to show that i loved her. but as a man i am afraid to open up. i avoid conflict. i kept running away, fearing to show my vulnerability. the more she begged, the stronger i felt hurt. i couldnt speak up. i didnt know what to say. i couldnt even look her in the eyes.
everytime she has opened up to me, she ends up getting so upset that she told it felt im not listening, when i was. when i would cry, she would pull me into her arms and tell me that it was okay and she wont ask anymore because it makes me upset.
i told her i couldnt give her what she wanted. she would get angry.
during these times.. even if she raised her voice a little, she would catch herself and eventually calm down, and apologize for raising her voice at me but would tell me her inner child felt triggered by my avoidance. it made me feel worse that every time i hurt her.. she had to console me. but i am just too afraid to open up. we would leave this discussion at that until she brought it up again. before her infidelity she brought the issue of her feeling insecure in our relationship frequently. i could feel her slowly drawing away, the girl i once knew slowly began to turn cold. before her infidelity. she was angry all the time.
during her infidelity, she avoided me completely. i feel like maybe a bit of this is my fault. she assures me that her infidelity was nothing on me and that it was her poor decision and that i shouldnt blame myself because i did nothing wrong.
2 months ago, i was wondering why she was acting so distant. i got on her phone and discovered she had an emotional affair with a man online. it began innocently. that night, she asked me if i wanted to drink with her. i told her no- but i would be on my computer if she decided to join me. she told me it was okay and stayed in the living room. this man flirted with her and she rejected his advances at first. he told her that he felt that he was taking advantage of a drunk her( she told him she was drunk). she began to vent to him that night. she told her she felt alone, that nobody truly loved her, and that she was so tired of fighting for the bare minimum sometimes. the man kept flirting with her that night and she rejected his advances every time. she did not speak to him for a few days but he continued to reach out to her. he complimented her every second he got. she never complimented him back but she began to send innocent selfies. he would try and seduce her and i could tell from the texts she was uncomfortable. but.. a few days later, she folded. the man and her began sexting. he would ask her for nudes and she was always hesitant and would say no. he would beg her and tell her that he would send her money. they exchanged nudes (she sent 3-4) but that was it. they never met up. (i have her location on life360, she never leaves the house without me)
i guess she found out that i found out and one night, she sat me down and told me everything. she proceeded to break up with me that night. she told me that she hurt me and she couldnt look at herself in the mirror and see a stranger. that what she did was wrong. that she felt guilty. tears streamed down her face, horror, shock. i did not say anything. i told her , “i knew this was coming” and went to bed. i left the house the next morning and have not lived with her since. the morning i left, she begged me to stay. when i told her no, that i loved her but i couldnt stay anymore. that i could never move past this. she was no longer in contact with ap and blocked him on every platform before she broke up with me. she didnt even try to hide it. this affair was in plain sight. they were in a relationship for 4 days before she broke it off. she told AP in the breakup that he meant nothing to her.
i was in shock. i was hurt, i felt less of a man for letting this happen. i felt ugly. reinforcing my insecurities.
some of this is my fault. she would ask me to help around the house and i never did. i felt attacked- and would blame her for things that she didnt do around the house to try and feel better about myself. i told her that when she raised her voice at me it was painful. now; instead of yelling, she goes quiet because “she doesnt want to hurt me” she proceed to clean the whole house herself. she begged me to compliment her and praise her like she had been doing to me for the past 3 years. everyday she would compliment me, tell me i was handsome, have sex with me whenever. she would constantly tell me she was proud of me and that i meant the world to her. every day, she complimented me all day. she gave me little handmade notes, gifts, left cute little messages on my computer for when i got home from work. she would send me nudes without me asking and i would always ignore them.
i told her that it was my fault. she would always tell me it wasnt my fault, it was hers. that she should have just gone to me for validation. she told me she was weak, she was just a horrible person.
she has began therapy and counseling. she and i talk everyday still. she kept talking to me even when i would leave her on read. for a month i wanted nothing to do with her. but, a month after no contact i reached back out to her and told her that i would want to try again in the future; just not right now. that i need to heal, and learn to forgive her. that we cant be together because i dont want to resent her. that right now, i dont want anyone else but i just need to be alone to heal. she respected my wishes and gave me space. she tells me that she will do anything to make this right.
i just dont know how to forgive her. we say good morning and goodnight every day. when i’m not busy, i get back to her whenever i can. she is constantly texting me, updating me with her day. she tells me every day how much she loves me and how much guilt and shame she feels. she tells me that the pain that she feels right now is nothing to what i am feeling. she tells me that she is hurt so badly that she hurt me. she tells me her intentions were to never hurt me; but to validate herself. she writes me paragraphs about how she is sorry and wants to fix everything. she tells me there are no excuses for her behavior and that she is doing everything she can to discover who she is and change that horrible part about herself that she had no idea even existed. she showers me with gifts, compliments, any chance she gets. she writes me poems, she writes me letters. she even hand wrote me a 300 page book on how much she loves me. this was stuff she did before her infidelity as well, so please dont take it as she is lovebombing me.
i tell her i love her everyday. i call her baby and even if its hard to text her at times, i love her with all of my heart. we meet up twice a week and go out on dates. she and i even have intercourse on the days we see each other. i can still do this because, she didnt ever fuck another guy.
she is promising me that she is trying to discover what is wrong with her and that she is working with her therapist to finally develop healthy coping skills. she has picked up into reading the bible and trying to guide herself to self-forgiveness. she is writing apologies for my friends, family, etc. (unprompted) because even if she hurt me she still hurt them as well because they trusted her too. she wants to give me my space but also fears losing me.
i worry that i wont be enough for her and that i cant give her what she needs. i feel like i am not the right man for her.
i want to be with her again one day but i dont know how to navigate my emotions. i feel i cannot trust her. but i believe that she wont do this again- but i must shield my heart for the time being.
how can i trust her? i did the same thing to her years ago (albeit in a different way, i still broke her trust in me) and she was so forgiving and helped me navigate my addiction. why wont my body let me forgive her?

it is another day in the life of john doe.
as usual he is doomscrolling at like 4am, and spots a post on reverendinsanity
"reincarnated into reverend insanity with only access to reverendinsanity? what a shit fic idea" he says, generally being a cunt
born_lab1283
7 upvotes and i do it
⬆️ (6 upvotes) ⬇️
"7? that's a lucky number. maybe i could save up my luck on sportsbetting for the next champions league final. fucking vardrid."
he pressed the upvote button.
he was immediatly struck by lightning and died.
"chou! wake up! tonight is the night you awake your aperture!" said the voice of a young man
john doe: ...
"what? where am i?"
"awaken my aperture? am i in a coma dream or what?"
"am i in reverend insanity?"
john doe: ...
john doe: ...
john doe: ...
"wallahi im finished."
john doe, finally waking up from his 30 word long stupor, told the voice that he would be up soon.
"transmigrated into a hellworld where i could be sniped by spectral soul from 10 billion miles away and have no chance of self-defense, a world where your family can die and you would have to keep a face so calm you could be sent off into the idgaf war
a world where you dont even have a phone." said the defeatist john doe.
john doe looked to his right. he saw a familiar thin black rectangle.
"fucks sake."
he pressed the home button of the ancient technonogy known as an iphone 7, and was greeted with the home page of reverendinsanity.
"i was transported into reverend insanity with only access to reverendinsanity?"
epic title card
a couple minutes later john doe, known as "chou chou" (clown clown) in this fuckass village walked alongside tens of other youngsters into a cave. the cave seemed to stretch five hundred meters or so in a zigzag pattern. they arrived at a tiny blue river after what felt like hours, while it was in fact, not hours.
"this is where you hopeful youngsters wil awaken your aperture and become gu masters! make your clansmen proud to have you by their side as you defend the glory of the clan!" said a scrawny old ass man with his legion of 7 other old ass men behind him.
"we will have you walk into this stream one by one, and that way we will find out your aptitude, try not to get a D grade aperture! haha!" said the old man again.
"i swear to fucking god if i get a c grade aperture i will blow my skull into pieces with the first gu worm i get."
"aaah! D grade!?" screamed a firmly un-john-doe like youngster.
"aah! A grade!?" screamed another vividly un-john-doe like youngster.
after about half the youngsters had awakened their apertures and also screamed in either despair or ecstasy, it was john doe's turn to awaken his aperture.
"ah! so cold!"
"hey i think i remember this part of qing mao mountain arc. this is where fang yuan got bitched by his brother in terms of aptitude! he only had like 50% what a loser lmao."
after walking about 26 steps, john doe could not walk further. it was like an entire nation banned him from walking further.
"chou has a C grade aptitude with 50% aptitude!" announced the old man.
"this is the first time in my life i've only had to announce aptitude one time." said an old and certainly perplexed man.
while the old men of the clan chatted among each other, john doe was thinking.
"50% is good and all, but i wanted to be A grade :("
"maybe i should use that phone of mine to ask the sub members how to get more aptitude.
the old man in charge then lead the youngster out of the zigzag cave, and out into the village. the cave was located on a cliff, and when the youngsters were led in it was night, and now it was morning.
"holy hell! this village is more like a city!"
the "village" was likely around an eighth of the size of the mountain it was located on, with 4 huge walls erected in circular formations around the village, centered on the eastern and highest point of the village. the levels of the village were as follows:
1: the external city. where all the worthless mortals live to farm and do nothing else but get killed by the clan elders on their daily commute.
2: the outer city: where all the travelers and gu master citizens live. there are tiny "clans" spotted about owning their respective family businesses around the place.
3: the clansmens city: where all the clansmen live. duh.
4: the elder city: where the elders and clan leader reside. it is a sacred place due to it being the origin of the village.
"whoa, i feel like i just learnt something!"
"anyways, home i go." said a homebound john doe.
after he got home, he revealed his aptitude to his nonexistent family members and his one sevant.
"wow boss, 50% is a great aptitude! you have a chance of becoming rank 3!" said his one servant, aptly named "pu ren".
"well ren, my man, wheres the family gone off to?"
"well boss, they were in this writing group, and one of them asked if they should write a poem about living in a peaceful world, and the seven family members said they should. and then they were struck by lightning and died.
john doe: ...
"i'll just go to my room then."
arriving at his room, john dope opened his phone, opened "make post" menu, and typed:
hello RItards, i've been sent to the gu world, i recently awakened my aperture and found out i have 50% aptitude. as we all know, the biggest number is 100, and i want that number. so how do i increase aptitude? please dont have your answer involve bears or skulls, thank you.
//end of chapter
voice your opinions! what should little john do to increase aptitude? little john will ask questions on what to do every chapter, and it is up to YOU to decide!
props to u/emirthe for the general idea, and u/b0bthepenguin for the "john makes posts every chapter" idea.
(plz respond as if you are talking to john doe, thx)

The last song on each album are hints of what's to come. Doubt I'm the first to think of this, so forgive me if that's the case. Either way...
Bear with me...
I believe that Tool's next album or at least one of its songs will be about nature, specifically man's bastardization of it.
Let's look at the last song on each album.
Opiate (EP): Opiate? Wrong, The Gaping Lotus Experience, but let's come back to that...
Undertow: Disgustipated - What clears up constipation? An Enima.
Aenima: Third Eye - It's on the cover art of Lateralus and a pretty predominant theme.
Lateralus: Faaip de Oiad - Area 51, rambling about aliens, need I say more?
10,000 Days: Viginti Tres - A poem about fear, specifically for the end of the world (Global Pandemic bonus points here)
Fear Inoculum: Mockingbeat...
Before we speculate, back to Gaping Lotus. There is hidden meaning in Tool. This is factual right out of the gate as they literally hid a song behind a wall of silence on Opiate, the EP and the song, in case it wasn't obvious enough. The Gaping Lotus Experience is the Tool experience. It is hidden, but seeking it out is kinda dumb, but it is there. And frankly, it feels good to find meaning. Perhaps that is enough to understand what Tool is about, but coating their entire artistic direction in thick irony over decades of hard work is an accomplishment to say the least. We are tools for finding this shit, but they are tools for hiding it. So just shut the fuck up and enjoy Tool I guess. Sometimes they, and we, are gaping assholes. Sometimes they, and we, are more like a delicate lotus. It is what they have always been and they knew it right from the start.
Now back to speculation, Mockingbeat. We've got synths, electronics, birds. We've got a little beat in there too. The beat feels intentionally tribal. I believe that Tool's next album will be about nature, specifically man's bastardization of it. As a fan, I can't help but feel it a perfect theme for a Maynard poem over the guys rhythmic and melodic interpretations of the concept.
Maybe I'm crazy, but we know they jam songs out for a long time before they are ready. They show us live sometimes. They could easily have enough stuff in the oven when working on an album that we won't hear until the next, to inspire a hidden hint on the current. I wouldn't put it past them.

My love language are acts of service and my boyfriend (22M) does so well at expressing his love for me this way, it’s practically natural for him and it touches my heart every time. He expressed to me that his love language are words of affirmation and kindly asked me if I could be more affectionate with him, I asked him what he meant and he told me giving him compliments and reassurance from time to time makes him feel loved. It’s been about two months since that conversation and I’ve been trying to express my love to him that way but I’m just not that great with words, it doesn’t come naturally to me, but I want my boyfriend’s love language needs to be met! Don’t get me wrong, the compliments I give him are genuine, but I’m terrible at putting them into a heartfelt sentence rather than something stiff like: You’re an amazing boyfriend.
How can I get better with my words? Or does it even matter? My boyfriend already told me recently that I do enough and that he feels loved but I still feel like my love isn’t being fully received as I hope it would. I like writing poems, would that be a good way to convey in words my love for him or is that too cheesy?