I've been on an emotional roller coaster since my pregnancy journey began in January. Even though we were referred to a fertility center, I became pregnant in January natrually. Up until March, I spent significant time at the center getting frequent ultrasounds, but I never received any concrete reports. They always assured me that everything was fine. In April, we filled out a form online and were assigned a family doctor on April 19th. However, she didn't have my previous reports from fertiliti cernter and only mentioned that my next scan would be at 20 weeks. Eventually, we were also assigned an OB, and our first appointment was scheduled for May 29th.
During this time, there was a concerning development. I rushed to get my reports and found out that a test from March 29th showed my cervix length to be 2.4 cm. In mid-May, I urgently went to Etobicoke hospital and underwent an emergency cercalarge procedure at 12 PM due to my cervix dilating and membrane bulging. Since May 14th, I've been on bed rest and taking 200 mg of progesterone, only getting up to use the restroom.
After narrating this entire ordeal to my OB during our first meeting on May 29th, she prescribed weekly scans and progesterone until the baby is born. Post the cercalarge procedure, I started experiencing a white, thick discharge, occasionally accompanied by water early in the morning. The OB assured me that it was normal due to the progesterone intake.
Today, during my weekly scan on June 4th, I woke up at 5 AM to discover that my water had broken. I went to the ultrasound appointment at 11 AM and was then referred to labor and delivery. It was there that I learned my membrane had ruptured, my cervix was now at 2.3 cm, and funneling was occurring. My OB subsequently provided antibiotics and instructed us to return home, but also mentioned that we should go to OPG hospital in Toronto the day after tomorrow. She emphasized that if I were to go into labor or experience any bleeding at home, I should come back immediately for delivery, as the baby's survival was uncertain.
In a desperate request, we asked the OB to put her instructions in writing, but she refused. After an hour-long conversation, we were sent back home feeling stranded. I'm extremely scared and anxious about what's going to happen next. Can someone please help me understand what to expect? Still with No reports in Hand.

hi so I naturally have very dark brown hair. and I dye and cut my hair myself. I've done this for awhile bc I feel like if I ever went to a hairdresser at this point, they would have a stroke and die from the look of my hair. not that it's bad, I like it a lot and I've also cut my friend's hair a lot and they all said it looks great, but that's not important.
I really like dying my hair and stuff but I hate the upkeep of the bleach. I try and bleach my hair every three months but I suck at keeping up with it. bleach makes my head very itchy and it easily takes 4 coats to even make my hair light/medium brown. plus my hair grows really fast so the roots are back to showing up again in less then a month. and I genuinely hate sitting there for like 8 hours straight with a itchy head for my hair to look like a banana peel. I do use hair masks and conditioners to keep my hair healthy as well. I'm careful not to re-bleach the parts of my hair, that have already been bleached.
I've tried to have my hair light colors before. like light blue or pink, but it all fades in a week. blue didn't even show up in my hair pretty much. I decided to just keep it dark purple bc it makes it easier to hide my roots. but I a month but hair was back bleached blonde with a brown top of my head. with literally no trace of purple. I used manic panic bc I heard that was a good brand. i actually really liked it though, it took to my hair pretty well.
I also should mention again I really don't like getting it professionally done. I kinda hate people touching me and it's so much more expensive. like I could spend 100 dollars for hair dye that will last month or 10 dollars on hair dye that will last two weeks. do y'all have any good dye or bleach brands?

Imagine if in your youth, you've had the idea of being married planted in your head and your destiny has been decided and predetermined (both Stolas' and Stella have this in common), yet upon meeting your betrothed and becoming engaged, he/she remains aloof and melancholy. You are uncertain if this is their natural state or if you are the cause of their misery (this is where you begin to doubt yourself and your self worth, maybe for the first time).
For the first few months/years, you attempt to show love, affection, tenderness and vulnerability in the hopes that it will be returned, you may confide in family and close friends to get advice as to remedy the divide between yourself and your partner. Alas, all of your efforts are in vain, affection is ineffective, passion is non-existent, and sexual intimacy is like having sex with a corpse, all of this as friends and family and society pressure you to produce an heir with someone who you believe genuinely hates you and can't tolerate your presence (Stolas' "bitch crying" and lack of bedroom engagement). So, slowly, ever so slowly, hate begins to creep in. Unbeknownst to you, your husband/wife has been in love with another and doesn't trust you enough to ever have an honest conversation with you! Maybe there was a lover or potential lover you gave up on for the sake of society as well.
You aren't a friend, lover, or confidant to the person you married and now have a child for but as you watch your spouse interact with your child, you see the kindness, affection and love that you've always wanted eminate from this individual and being poored into this child. This child, born of your body, born of the societal expectation to produce an heir, not out of love, not out of passion, but quite literally as an insurance policy, is now receiving a deluge of love, whereas you can't even get a drop! And with that, the hatred consumes your heart, the very image of your partner holding your own child shows you the one thing you'll never have...love. Now, every time you see your child, you're reminded of how you'll never be loved like that, held like that, wanted like that. To be honest, I don't think I could bring myself to hold my child either, it would just hurt too much.
Finally, the dagger through my heart, I find out that my partner is fucking cheating on me...So, I don't get love, affection, tenderness, just ABC starfish, limp-body sex, responsibility and hatred! I soothe myself with substances, which only clouds my mind and increases my rage! Then, my partner publicly shames and divorces me for someone of "lesser value" (You're a millionaire and your wife leaves you for the pool boy).
Your partner leaves you, but you have to leave the house, you feel like your kid hates you (you feel conflicted like you do and don't deserve it), and now all you want is for your partner to hurt as bad as you do. Stella sounds like a sad and jaded divorced dad...
The saddest thing is Paimon could have avoided all of this by explaining stuff to Stolas. If Stolas had been taught how to properly navigate high society, he could have hashed out a deal with Stella from the start. If Stella KNEW she was a beard, she could have had her own romance while Stolas had his, it would have prevented decades of misery on both sides. Paimon probably has multiple children, both legitimate and illegitimate, because he's a noble, but really because he's a callous piece of shit. He probably never felt he needed to explain the "marry for money, fuck who you love" concept because as a powerful sociopath he understands and lives that concept innately. (For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, you've probably never had rich friends. Wealthy people are renowned for their lack of chastity and fidelity due to their wealth and status, understanding that as long as paternity of your child is with your partner, you can sleep around as you like.
TLDR: Stella is a stand in for men in marriage, you're settled for and hated, starved of intimacy while still expected to perform societal duties, eventually embarrassed, gaslit, then divorced and having to leave your home!
((Stolas is repeating the same pattern of emotional isolation and rumination. He shut out his wife because he never liked her. He's shutting out Blitzo because he didn't immediately respond in the way he wanted. While as a shut-in, I identify with Stolas torturous isolation, the fact that none of his imps have a close relationship with him is a major red flag. Emotional intimacy is something you practice over time with those closest to you, both physically and geographically, he hasn't been doing that, I don't think he knows what love is. He's obsessed with/fixated on Blitzo, not in love. Stolas doesn't know himself, his daughter, his ex, or Blitzo well enough to really love them. He really needs to grow as a person more before he can love. At this point and time, the only things he can love are his books and his tv dramas.))

Ok, so I said I would return with the rest of Nathan's story and here I am. My higher-ups already know of my misdeeds when I uploaded part 1 so I don't think I'll be around much longer. Anyway, I spoke to Nathan some more and he was fully willing to finish his story. After hearing it myself and transcribing it, I fully understand why he's in a tube and why I'm monitoring him. After you read this, you will understand why as well. Let's get into it!
Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance.
With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles!
Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound.
Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl.
Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight.
Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice.
Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!”
Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky.
Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees.
Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls.
After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore.
Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust.
Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep.
“Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview.
The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?”
Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him.
“Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…”
Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel.
“Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?”
Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back.
“You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!”
Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.”
Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend.
Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is.
With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation.
Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose.
Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office.
Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility.
Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence.
“This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!”
“Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!”
“No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.”
“What the FUCK do you mean?”
Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause.
“That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face.
“No, no, what the fuck. How?!”
“You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.”
“But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.”
“That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…”
“Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him.
Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run.
Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button.
Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.”
Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care.
1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble.
The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors.
Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly…
“Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!”
“Wait! I just need help!”
“I said put your hands above your head!”
Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.
This is the end of Nathan’s story. But it isn’t the end of mine. After hearing Nathan's story, I have an understanding of why he’s in the tube here. I can firmly admit that I’m terrified. I had no idea this is why I was sent here. I was led to believe he was just a possible danger and I needed to monitor him and continue brain scans. Little did I know, this is why.
I know it seems a bit strange and even unbelievable but I have no real reason to not believe a man trapped inside a tube. But now that he has spoken to me, he’s asked me to help him. However, I have no idea how. Aside from letting him out, there’s nothing else I can do. The higher-ups here are strict and have specifically told anyone working here not to listen to Nathan. On top of that, they're already suspicious of me. I suppose, getting his story out is one way to help him but he also wants out of here.
I don’t know what to do, but I do understand I’ve already gone too far by even listening to him. Hell, he may even be as dangerous now as Subject Zero from the story he told me. If he is, I could release a madman into the world. If he isn't, I'm letting an innocent man suffer alone in a science facility. Screw it. I’ve come to terms with what must happen. I’ll release him the moment I can, if I even can. Once this story is shown to the public, I may end up terminated. Not from my job, but from my life. If this happens then I’m sorry to Nathan. If Nathan turns out to be a danger as well, then I’m sorry to all of you. For now and possibly forever, goodbye.
PART 1:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1d7hsgf/im_a_scientist_and_a_man_in_a_tube_is_telling_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Yeah, this is gonna be a long one.
And before you click-clack your keyboard after you read the title, "They're not related! They just look a lot like us because that's how mortal minds process 4D beings!" just know that you're wrong. If they were truly hyper-agonal 4D beings with alien geometry we can't comprehend, why can we loot armor off of them and wear it as a puny, vile 3D pathetic mortal? Why can we cut the head off of a Xivilai and trust that it'll die when we do it? Our bodies and those of Daedra match up perfectly. There's no illusions there. They have a circulatory system like we do, the organs in their bodies are in the same exact places we have organs in ours, the whole "4D eldritch horror" explanation feels cheap and very rough around the edges. It makes next to no logical sense. This is probably a case of characters bullshitting, not actual lore.
Tell me, how many times have Daedra outright lied to us? How many times have mortal and Daedra alike told us that Daedra are full of shit in the games? There were lorebooks in Battlespire and ESO that said that Daedra can't feel love and all this other nonsense, when we know they can. There are multiple accounts of Dremora falling in love with mortals, and I'm sure everyone here knows that Lyranth wants to tie the Vestige to her bed in ESO.
With Daedra and emotions, I'd bargain that their clans and kingdoms and everything in between are just really repressive of emotion, like with male gender roles in our society. Emotional men are almost universally considered weak. If men show emotion, they will forfeit respect, relationship status, reputation, etc. Human society dictates that men must be emotionless, and I believe Daedric society is pretty much the same, but way stricter and all-encompassing, instead of just the men.
Most likely, a lot of them are horribly repressed and psychologically damaged, resulting in angry, sadistic killing machines because they are taught that cruelty is the only outlet to express themselves. Daedra live eternally, meaning they are exposed to millennia of psychological conditioning to the point that they believe they're emotionless. The reason why cases like Lyranth are so rare is because most Daedra are completely mentally broken, so far gone they can't be salvaged.
It's said that Fargrave's inhabitants are overall "happier" and more in-touch with their emotions than other Daedra for this reason-Fargrave is outside the bounds of any clan or Oblivion plane, meaning there's going to be a cultural divergence, especially since Fargrave is a place that mortals and Daedra cohabit. It's a more forgiving environ overall than, say, Coldharbour.
Which segways into our next bit, Daedric evolution, biology, and reproduction. I get that Lyranth also said that "oh, Daedra that look alike aren't actually related." Well, then I must ask, what the hell is a Xivkyn then? The lore explanation for the Xivkyn was that Molag Bal "combined the essences" of the two species. We don't know what the fuck that means, and seeing how he "combined his essence" with humans to create vampires, I'd wager the methods he used weren't exactly pleasant. He's the literal god of rape, I'm sure he isn't gonna shy away from pulling a Saruman to make super-soldiers.
A horse and a donkey can breed to make a mule, everyone knows this. Let's say that Dremora and Xivilai can do the same. This actually would make sense lore-wise, considering TES is another one of those stories where everything came from the same place. The et'Ada.
Some of the et'Ada, the original spirits, decided to fuck off elsewhere while the rest made the world. These spirits became the Daedra. Instead of creating and populating Mundus, the Daedra created and populated their own realms in Oblivion.
The et'Ada that settled Nirn eventually morphed into Men and Mer. But what about the et'Ada that settled the Deadlands or the Shivering Isles? Well, they would have became the lesser Daedra. The reason Dremora look similar to elves (even in ESO) is because Dremora and Mer have a common ancestor. Everything sapient does. Xivilai are just much, much closer to Dremora than Bretons are evolutionarily, hence why they can breed.
"But...Daedra can't breed" I hear you say. This is...another lazy piece of lore that doesn't make sense. A militarist hierarchy would need a constant flow of new meat to push around while the generation before them ranks up. You can't structure one around people being beat up and tortured for eternity with no escape. Think about it. In order for rank to mean anything, it has to be special. A small group of people given eternal lives wouldn't really have rank at all, because everyone has a literal eternity to rank up, and eventually, everyone would be a Valkynaz. Meaning that "Valkynaz" would be an empty title with no meaning, because it isn't special.
In order for rank to exist in an eternal society, people would have to be confined to their roles with no chances of ranking up, or eventually everyone would. And if you do that, the much larger lower castes would rebel against the higher castes because eternity is a long time to be tortured for, meaning that every single Daedric clan would be wrought with civil war at every turn and would barely function as an army, let alone a government.
Every dictatorship needs new blood to beat on, otherwise it will fall. Every society is built on the backs of its youth. Every society HAS to be able to breed, especially a society like the Daedric clans. Don't pester me about eventual overpopulation, if Oblivion is truly infinite, that wouldn't be a problem. Infinite daedra for infinite realms. Makes sense to me.
I'd imagine the sapient Daedric races would give live birth because they have...noticable features that are only present in mammals. Torvesard also has a navel, indicating live birth. As for the Battlespire text on the clan-bond, I'd take that as "we do have parents, we just don't know them." Daedra, or at least Dremora, would probably be raised communally. This would make them loyal to the clan and the clan alone, and they wouldn't prioritize their family over their government or their superiors.
As for their language, they definitely have their own. People say they don't have one, and the names are in Ehlnofex. The thing is, the lesser Daedra diverged from the et'Ada that became the Ehlnofey, why would they speak the Tamrielic proto-language? And "Zynoahz" is definitely not an Ehlnofex word from what we've seen of the language. What the Dremora chant in the Imperial City sounds more like Spanish than Ehlnofex too.
But that's my two cents. Hope you liked hearing it.

Going straight into this, I had discord and was watching YouTube at the time, and my sister came in and stole my headphones. Unfortunately, I was on a call with a friend, which was showing, but the YouTube tab was still open, and I was watching Markiplier, and she heard his voice. So she ran out and told my mother I was talking to old men. When I showed her the video I was watching and tried to explain, she told me to shut up or she'd take me to my grandfather's house so he could, "beat me." And so then she took my computer and checked through all the chats, and it got taken away. She found out that I was bi and an atheist and I did get sent to my grandpa's house.
Ever since then, my cousin, who was also affected by this, and I have always hated my sister. She is confused as to why we are still mad at her. I risk every day of getting caught on the app because my mother has since implemented controls on my phone. I wasn't able to talk to my friends for about a year or so. I'm very scared about getting caught with still having this app. Although I really want to talk to my friends. I could get other apps, but I don't want to inconvenience them. I've known my friends for about 5 - 6 years. My sister says that she helped me, and my mom doesn't trust me. I don't really know what to do. If I get caught on Discord, I'll get my phone taken, and she'll ground me. I'll most likely lose my friends during that process, too.
Edit: This happened like 2 years ago

I'm assigned male at birth (AMAB) but non-binary (x) hence my reddit username. I recently lost my life-partner (1 year mark) and I am attempting to fill an emotional and ... flirtatious void. (Aside: I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist in case there's any concern).
I've been looking to chat with Straight men [only] who are open/experimental for fun chat. I'm just in need of masculine comfort/emotional support. Looking for guys who are overprotective types that like checking in. I also adore the Himbo types, dorks/nerds as well as Daddies (especially if you enjoy being addressed as "Daddy"). I'm a huge comic book/anime nerd, so any guys into the same should get along with me great. I'd preferably like to connect with guys at least 30+ (especially older than me).
Interests: Comics (DC/MARVEL), animation, anime, manga, philosophy, theology, political science, gender studies, paranormal/occult
Favorite movies: BLACK SWAN, THE LAST UNICORN, EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, HOME ALONE 2, US, HALLOWEEN (2019), anything MCU or DC ANIMATED
Currently on my Netflix watchlist: THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, THE HAUNTING OF BLY MANOR, VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER, A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, THE MIDNIGHT CLUB, CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND, WEDNESDAY, THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL, GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S PINOCCHIO, THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW, KLAUS, A TALE DARK AND GRIMM, CASTLEVANIA, CASTLEVANIA: NOCTURNE
Currently on my Discovery+ watch list: THESE WOODS ARE HAUNTED, THE HAUNTED MUSEUM, TRUE TERROR, BELIVERS, MY HAUNTED HOUSE, WHERE MURDR LIES, DEADLY AFFAIRS, THE PERFECT MURDER, UNUSUAL SUSPECTS, FATAL VOWS, BLOOD RELATIVES, MARRIED WITH SECRETS, MANSION&MURDERS, FATAL VOWS, BEHIND MANSION WALLS, A CRIME TO REMEMBER, WHO THE \[BLEEP\], DEADLY WOMEN, PROPERTY BROTHER, FLIP OR FLOP, MILLION DOLLAR ROOMS, LOVE IT OR LIST IT.
Currently on my Hulu watch list: MOM, AMERICAN DAD!, BOB'S BURGERS, FRAISER, FUTURAMA, LIVING SINGLE, ANIMANIACS, TWO SENTENCE HORROR STORIES, BLEACH: THE THOUSAND-YEAR BLOOD WAR, THE GREAT
Currently on my Paramount+ watch list: STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, STAR TREK: PICARD, STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS, STAR TREK: PRODIGY, DARIA, I LOVE LUCY
Currently on my CrunchyRoll watchlist: SAILOR MOON, CARDCAPTOR SAKURA, DEMON SLAYER: KIMETSU NO YAIBA, MASHLE: MAGIC AND MUSCLES, JUJUTSU KAISEN, X&Y, WHY RAELIANA ENDED UP AT THE DUKE'S MANSION, TAKT OP.DESTINY, THE PROMISED NEVERLAND, GOSIC, YONA OF THE DAWN, ANOTHER, SAMURAI TROOPERS, THE NGHT BEYOND THE TRICORNERED WINDOW, REIGN OF THE SEVEN SPELLBLADES, RAVEN OF THE INNER PALACE, MALEVOLENT SPIRITIS: MONONOGATARI, REVENGER, TOKYO GHOUL, BLUE EXORCIST, THE MILLIONAIRE DETECTIVE - BALANCE: UNLIMITED, TALES OF ZESTIRIA THE X, LINK CLICK, THE ANCIENT MAGUS' BRIDE, BUNGO STRAY DOGS, THE CASE STUDY OF VANITAS, ERASED, FATE/STAY NIGHT, RON KAMONOHASHI'S FORBIDDEN DEDUCTION, TEARMOON EMPIRE, THE SAINT'S MAGIC POWER IS OMNIPOTENT, SASAKI AND MIYANO, HEAVEN OFFICAL'S BLESSING, GHOST HUNT, A SIGN OF AFFECTION, THE DUKE OF DEATH AND HIS MAID, UNDEAD MURDER FARCE
Be sure to check through my posts for other interests/selfies. If you happen to be local to Los Angeles county (or travel here regularly), I'd be interested in meeting in person as well.

Imagine if in your youth, you've had the idea of being married planted in your head and your destiny has been decided and predetermined (both Stolas' and Stella have this in common), yet upon meeting your betrothed and becoming engaged, he/she remains aloof and melancholy. You are uncertain if this is their natural state or if you are the cause of their misery (this is where you begin to doubt yourself and your self worth, maybe for the first time).
For the first few months/years, you attempt to show love, affection, tenderness and vulnerability in the hopes that it will be returned, you may confide in family and close friends to get advice as to remedy the divide between yourself and your partner. Alas, all of your efforts are in vain, affection is ineffective, passion is non-existent, and sexual intimacy is like having sex with a corpse, all of this as friends and family and society pressure you to produce an heir with someone who you believe genuinely hates you and can't tolerate your presence (Stolas' "bitch crying" and lack of bedroom engagement). So, slowly, ever so slowly, hate begins to creep in. Unbeknownst to you, your husband/wife has been in love with another and doesn't trust you enough to ever have an honest conversation with you! Maybe there was a lover or potential lover you gave up on for the sake of society as well.
You aren't a friend, lover, or confidant to the person you married and now have a child for but as you watch your spouse interact with your child, you see the kindness, affection and love that you've always wanted eminate from this individual and being poored into this child. This child, born of your body, born of the societal expectation to produce an heir, not out of love, not out of passion, but quite literally as an insurance policy, is now receiving a deluge of love, whereas you can't even get a drop! And with that, the hatred consumes your heart, the very image of your partner holding your own child shows you the one thing you'll never have...love. Now, every time you see your child, you're reminded of how you'll never be loved like that, held like that, wanted like that. To be honest, I don't think I could bring myself to hold my child either, it would just hurt too much.
Finally, the dagger through my heart, I find out that my partner is fucking cheating on me...So, I don't get love, affection, tenderness, just ABC starfish, limp-body sex, responsibility and hatred! I soothe myself with substances, which only clouds my mind and increases my rage! Then, my partner publicly shames and divorces me for someone of "lesser value" (You're a millionaire and your wife leaves you for the pool boy).
Your partner leaves you, but you have to leave the house, you feel like your kid hates you (you feel conflicted like you do and don't deserve it), and now all you want is for your partner to hurt as bad as you do. Stella sounds like a sad and jaded divorced dad...
The saddest thing is Paimon could have avoided all of this by explaining stuff to Stolas. If Stolas had been taught how to properly navigate high society, he could have hashed out a deal with Stella from the start. If Stella KNEW she was a beard, she could have had her own romance while Stolas had his, it would have prevented decades of misery on both sides. Paimon probably has multiple children, both legitimate and illegitimate, because he's a noble, but really because he's a callous piece of shit. He probably never felt he needed to explain the "marry for money, fuck who you love" concept because as a powerful sociopath he understands and lives that concept innately. (For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, you've probably never had rich friends. Wealthy people are renowned for their lack of chastity and fidelity due to their wealth and status, understanding that as long as paternity of your child is with your partner, you can sleep around as you like.
TLDR: Stella is a stand in for men in marriage, you're settled for and hated, starved of intimacy while still expected to perform societal duties, eventually embarrassed, gaslit, then divorced and having to leave your home!
((Stolas is repeating the same pattern of emotional isolation and rumination. He shut out his wife because he never liked her. He's shutting out Blitzo because he didn't immediately respond in the way he wanted. While as a shut-in, I identify with Stolas torturous isolation, the fact that none of his imps have a close relationship with him is a major red flag. Emotional intimacy is something you practice over time with those closest to you, both physically and geographically, he hasn't been doing that, I don't think he knows what love is. He's obsessed with/fixated on Blitzo, not in love. Stolas doesn't know himself, his daughter, his ex, or Blitzo well enough to really love them. He really needs to grow as a person more before he can love. At this point and time, the only things he can love are his books and his tv dramas.))

first
Luna VI query: Set the source to the leaked files of the first reconnaissance operation of Irisa.
As you wish!
Luna VI query: Narrate Nathans’s evening after saving Amara.
***
Taking a moment to stare at his trembling hands, Nathan tried—and failed—to remember a single moment in his life when he was in such a perilous situation.
There was that time in the Amazon Rainforest when his parents had called him worried from the other side of the world after seeing the news of flooding. But in that instance, he was well sheltered in a rough hut and getting food delivered to him by air.
Currently, however, he found himself fleeing from a war in an alien world. After hours of relentless running while carrying an injured princess, he now sat against a cold, oddly-shaped rock. The rock overhung to one side, sheltering half of his body, while his legs were left exposed with no ceiling above them.
This was especially bad because it had been raining nonstop for the past two hours.
Having water to drink and to clean Amara's wounds was more than enough to offset the discomfort caused by the freezing wetness afflicting his legs, and this would have been worse had he not rolled up his pants. But at this rate, even the unconscious princess occupying the best part of this natural shelter would eventually be affected by it, as little droplets were constantly finding their path to her with the help of the wind.
Unlike him, who had half his body exposed to the elements, Amara lay perpendicular to him, with her head resting near his waist; the rest of her body followed the somewhat straight line of the rock. So far, aside from a few droplets here and there, this natural shelter had not failed to keep her dry.
Of course, it was Nathan who had arranged her in this manner. He had removed his boots and covered them with what remained of his jacket, which he then folded into a pillow to ensure her head remained comfortably supported.
After that there were only three activities he performed, he drank water from the rain, he cleaned Amara's wounds, and not a single minute passed without him checking her breathing by placing his hand in front of her nostrils.
The only reason he refrained from attempting to check her temperature or her heartbeat was because whatever he found would be meaningless, fueling his bad thoughts as he would pointlessly try to interpret something he couldn’t decipher. Just as he was already doing with the patterns on her skin, which would change from time to time—sometimes the tiny black spots would be everywhere, and other times they would become scarce as if she were just blue.
Did that mean she was in pain? Was she uncomfortable? Maybe cold?
Even if one of his guesses were correct, there wouldn't be much he could do to help. This realization didn't make him feel any better; if anything, it left him distraught.
Still, when she began to toss and turn relentlessly, Nathan found himself unable to continue doing nothing. He pressed down on her below her neck, his other hand joining the side of her face for additional support to keep her in place.
At that moment, he saw her eyelids flutter and leaned in closer, looking for movement on her face. "Amara? Can you hear me?"
Her eyes snapped open, and for a moment he thought she would attack him. But she did nothing more than move her hands toward the wound on her forehead, which prompted him to grab her hand and stop her.
"Oh, no. Not allowed." Nathan said firmly. "The bleeding stopped minutes ago, you don't wanna start it again trust me."
The cut on her forehead was as big as his thumb, and before Nathan cleaned it, it had bled enough to soak chunks of her shoulder-length hair in red, as well as her face below.
Amara didn't try to resist and just took his advice, but moments later she started moving her head around, predictably wanting to know where she was.
He let go of her hand and stopped her head from moving, "Don't move too much, the height you fell from is no joke. This place is the best shelter I found when I stopped running because of the rain, but I'm sure I took us close to the valleys like you told me."
She closed her eyes again, raising the level of concern about her health, yet she didn't go back to sleep and said, "Your hands feel cold."
Nathan was holding her head from both sides, and he was not surprised she found them cold. He had been using them to get water from the rain most of the time he was in there after all.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"My ears are ringing, my head hurts, and my bones..." Her hand moved very gently toward her wound and Nathan let her touch it this time. This happened at the same time that her tail pressed against her chest, which soon shifted to her trying to raise her legs. "I presume no bone is broken. How far away are we from the tree I jumped? Did you cover your footsteps on the way here?"
Nathan was caught unprepared for her questions. During the two hours he was there, not even once it occurred to him that covering his footsteps was important. He hadn't considered how far he had run either. Amara, on the other hand, thought about those questions soon after she came to. How could she go through so much so fast and not be affected?
"I was too busy to erase my steps," Nathan spoke defensively, ignoring her other question. "I was carrying you and all I could think of was not shaking your head too much. Even when I took a break all I could do was to look behind to check if we were not being followed."
He was mentally prepared to be scolded, but Amara only listened and said nothing for a few long seconds.
"The rain must have erased your trail." When she broke the silence, the blue on her skin had transitioned to gray. "You must regret taking me with you. I missed the shots, lost your gun, and you had to count on luck when you needed my assistance the most."
"To hell with that. I recovered the gun and I wouldn't have ever considered deceiving those guys without you." His reply was instant, but he lowered his tone when he realized he was about to touch a dangerous subject. "We're not perfect, but we make a good team. It's a pity we can never..."
Nathan didn't finish his sentence, leaving only the sound of the rain to complete it for him.
He was ready to be called a coward again, but Amara reacted differently. Instead of displaying any hint of anger or sadness, her tail wrapped around his wrist, and the only thing she did was pull his hand toward her cheek and rub her face against it just once. "Still holding that view, I see."
He tried to get a hint of her emotions, but Amara's skin had returned to blue. Right now, he had no idea what was going on in her mind, but for some reason, the vibe he was getting from her was not one of acceptance.
She let go of her arm, and she slowly shifted to a sitting position. Her movements were slow and they showed that she was feeling some pain. And yet she powered through it and placed his boots to the side, returning his jacket as she sat cross-legged on the ground.
"Wear your jacket and take a sit by my side, my dear friend."
He took a suspicious glance at her because of the unusual way she referred to him, but he still followed her suggestion, leaving the rain and joining her in the better half of the natural shelter.
Nathan feared she would try something, but Amara steered the focus of their conversation in a different direction. "We were pressed for time earlier, but now I want to share all the details of my plan with you. Though first, you need to tell me how much time has passed and how far away you took me."
"Huh, it's been a little over five hours since you fell from the tree. As for the distance..." The brain IO interface captured his intention and an extrapolation of the distance he ran appeared. "I ran no less than twenty-five kilometers down the mountain."
"This much should be more than enough for my brother to not even consider searching for us in this area." Amara's fingers were interlocked as her hands rested on her lap, giving Nathan the impression she was plotting something. "At least not until tomorrow morning, when we will have long since headed to the valleys."
"You want to travel at night?" He didn't know what to expect from this journey, except that it would be dangerous.
"All night and plenty more!"
"What?" He was shocked. "How far into the valleys do you want to go?"
"All the way through!" She showed a hint of yellow. "There is a weather station two mountains ahead. If we can get there, I will borrow their comms and contact the elders to arrange a ship for us."
"This would truly save us." He smiled but still asked an important question. "But how long do you think it will take for us to get there?"
She took her time thinking. "I have discussed this with my commanders before. The whole group would have taken fourteen days to get there through the dark forest. If we advance in a straight line through the valleys, and if we are alone, it should be no more than six days of traveling."
"Six days?" Only now did Nathan comprehend how crazy her plan was. "I mean, finding food and water might not be too hard with my drones, but six days is plenty of time to be spotted in an open space. And besides, didn't you say yourself that the valleys are dangerous?"
"There are three things that make the valleys dangerous: the direct radiation from above the lifeline, the vast herds of Oczoils, and the poisonous plants." She looked him in the eye. "Should we travel at night we reduce the chance of being spotted and avoid the radiation. I suppose your drones are capable of identifying dangerous plants. And the Oczoils... they are big and loud, we should be able to not cross paths with them if we are careful."
Amara's description made her plan sound doable—even including his drones, which she barely knew the depth of their capabilities—but Nathan did not doubt that six days of travel in such a dangerous place would never go according to the plan. Still, what other options did they have? Climb back the mountains and fight the army of hostile Irisians? That scared him much more than some plants, Oczoils, and a little bit of radiation.
"Alright, that sounds better than staying here and waiting for a miracle." He touched his chin and grumbled, "But I don't know if can walk the whole night. I'm tired already."
Her tail was swaying from side to side as her eyes wandered, seemingly paying little attention to him. "There should be some time before nightfall, and we will wait for the rain to cease. You should rest now, my dearest friend."
His eyes widened at being called a friend a second time in such a short time. This was unlike her.
Had she truly seen reason and given up pursuing a romantic relationship?
Or was she just playing hard to get in the hope that he would change his mind?
Nathan observed her for a while as she ignored him and went about some tasks. She drank water from the rain, then tried to see the reflection of her wound in a puddle.
After finishing her tasks, she returned to his side and wrapped her tail around his arm as if this was the most normal thing in the world, leaning against him as she asked, "Do you think Ryo and Elysira look good together?"
He raised an eyebrow, puzzled by her behavior and not by her question. This didn't look like she playing hard to get, nor did it look like she had given up. But what exactly was she doing?
It felt as if they were playing a game of chess and she had just made a move that he couldn't quite grasp, but it still raised his suspicion like a vague aura of purpose that was too elusive to pinpoint.
"They don't look bad or anything." Nathan struggled for words. "It's just hard to believe a guy like him would... do what he did, you know."
"I see, you are even afraid of using the proper word," Amara added in a playful tone. "Truly a coward."
Even though she had said the same thing as the previous night, her vibe was completely different, making him struggle for a reply.
"What about you, Amara?" In the absence of a comeback, Nathan tried to stir the focus of their conversation to her instead. "What did you think of seeing your former friend like that?"
"It was odd." The pacing of her speech slowed down. "Elysira used to be afraid of males. I fail to see how someone can change more in twenty days than in the entirety of the past twenty harvests."
That would be nearly ten years, and Nathan could see her point. But even though he could empathize with her, he was there when she had attacked Elysira in her ship, and he could see how such an event could change someone so deeply.
"Are you still angry at her?" He spoke his mind.
Amara glanced at his face, and he felt her grip tightening around his arm. Still, she kept staring at the rain for several seconds before she replied.
"I might forgive her." Her voice was heavy; her skin was gray. "She challenged me to a fight and I could let her win." She spoke fast as if this was something she had been itching to tell him. "This way my allies and my enemies will believe I forgave her because of my hurt ego, and not because I am too weak to punish betrayal."
That was a lot for him to take. And it also made him realize that maybe Amara was not playing any games with him. The truth might be much simpler than he had assumed—maybe she just needed a friend right now and nothing more.
"Why did you take so long to change your mind about her?" He got tired of relying solely on his bones to keep his body straight and leaned against the rock behind him.
She joined him, refusing to let go of his arm. "If I do not forgive her... I fear she might go away with him and never return."
Listening to the rain and seeing how close she was, Nathan had to use all his willpower to not wrap his arm around her, which might have resulted in a misunderstanding.
"She might go with him even if you forgive her."
She agreed, "She might."
With those two words, their conversation about Elysira died down as Amara struggled to find a comfortable position for her head, clumsily leaning either on his arm or the rock.
Nathan remembered when they talked by the bonfire, and for just an instant he felt like their friendship had somehow survived the awful sequence of night and morning, returning to square one as if the last few days had not happened.
"You should rest and regain your energy for the night. I can stay still and keep watch better than you humans." She said those words in a loud voice, but added a few more in a whisper, "Your arm could help me against the cold, or you are so heartless that you will let your friend suffer just because you are afraid of your feelings?"
He was flabbergasted.
"Do you want my jacket? " He asked.
"What do you think?" She focused on his eyes and added, just to soothe his fears, "My friend."
He remorsefully enveloped her with his arm, and her injured head finally found a good spot to rest on his chest.
Nathan had to admit, he was getting scared of this scheming princess. It seemed that she understood him on a much deeper level than he understood her.
He sighed, making up his mind that this was too little of a concern compared to all their troubles.
And it was just like this that several hours of fragmented sleep began with Amara being held in his arms. A feeling that they were closer than ever haunted his heart, which was being poisoned by the fear that this closeness was fated not to last.
***
This was an account based on Nathans’s evening after saving Amara. The previous narrative is based on the events of the twentieth day of the exploratory mission of Irisa. According to your current settings, no queries will be suggested.
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(So sorry in advance for how long this. There’s a lot of context i needed to cover, and I promise it’s juicy)
I (F19) have struggled with my sexuality since I could remember. I grew up in a VERY religious household, so I struggled with internalized homophobia until high school-ish. I came out to my best friend at the time in middle school (we will call her Lilly), and even tho I was extremely nervous since she was the first person I came out to, she sort of brushed it off, saying it doesn’t matter what I was, I’m still her friend and she accepts me.
Me and Lilly were CLOSE. I spent as much time at her house as possible, and we were THE duo in middle school. If you saw me, you saw Lilly. I hated being touched by people, but I would cuddle with her EVERYWHERE and let her playfully push me and stuff like that. She was the only person I let in my bubble. The gay couple rumors and ships started happening, but we just laughed it off. I wasn’t even sure what her sexuality was since she kind of made it clear she wasn’t interested in crushes and stuff.
Fast forward a couple years, we are still pretty close, but I did move less than an hour away. Despite this, I was at her house as much as possible. She would always got so agitated when I would get in some stupid high school relationship, practically encouraging me to break up with them no matter what. It was boys, shockingly, and looking back I truly just did it for fun and to be able to push down the gay feelings. She hated ANYONE that I was in a lil relationship with, but I liked how jealous it made her. I can only assume it was jealousy.
Well, even though I did dabble in high school boys, me and Lillys closeness got very much… closer. Games of truth or dare would lead us into wearing less clothes than we started with, and getting a bit frisky with each other. I had never done anything more intimate than kissing with these boys, but we would do a LOT more and play it off as part of the game (even if we weren’t technically playing anymore). We both had only done these experiences with each other at the time, and it felt really special to me. We were just really good friends, ya know? One night when we were around 15, one thing led to another and I ended up having my first lesbian experience (if you know what I mean). I was so nervous, but we both felt it come naturally to us, considering everything else we had done was just a few steps down.
And then we never talked about it again. It happened, she sent me a flirty text the next day saying she enjoyed it and she wouldn’t mind me doing it again to her, and that was that. And despite all of this, she still had not definitively told me her sexuality was anything but straight.
A month later, she got a boyfriend. I was taken by surprise, since I had been dwelling on our recent late night experience and realizing that I truly did have feelings for her this entire time. When I found out, it felt like my spine got ripped out of my back. I was so angry, and even though I had a couple short silly relationships in the midst of all our homoerotic hangouts, I felt betrayed. I hated him and I wanted to throw him off of a plane. She stopped being intimate with me, even just stopping having physical contact with me at all other than hugs. It felt like everything shifted so fast. A year later, she announced she was moving to Utah with him to attend a military school with him. I truly felt like everything came crashing down.
Fast forward to now. She is still in Utah, and I had moved out with a boyfriend (that I jumped into getting after I got cheated on in my first serious lesbian relationship) of mine. It didn’t take too long for me to realize that I despised him. Everything he did icked me out. I was so infatuated by being wanted by someone and now I’m realizing that I don’t see myself fulfilled and truly happy with men. That’s a whole story for another time, but yeah, I’m currently in the process of moving in with my mom again. I had drifted a LOT from Lilly since she moved, seeing her post her stupid military boyfriend and just assuming she didn’t think to much about our experiences with each other anymore. That hasn’t stopped me from thinking about her from time to time, my heart sinking every time, wishing things could’ve been different. Recently, we got back in touch, and talked for FIVE HOURS. She told me she’s very unhappy with her relationship, and she ended up getting engaged with him, but she feels like she HAS to make him happy and that the relationship does not feel like it did when it started. He’s also just a shitty person. She is stuck on a lease with him for another year and a half. I feel so incredibly bad, mostly because I definitely know how it is getting stuck in a lease with someone you’ve grown to despise. I told her my situation, and we laughed about the similar shit we ended up getting ourselves into. It was an overall normal conversation, but here and there she said things that made me look at my screen and go “hmm”. I told her how I hated her boyfriend from the start, bragging jokingly about how I “called it”, and telling her I got so angry when he would touch her. Her response was a simple “I’m sure that was for many reasons.” That made me flustered, cuz it almost sounded like she was acknowledging the fact I had evident feelings for her. Another point in that same conversation, when talking about how I hate her boyfriend and always did, she jokingly tells me I should’ve stopped her from moving, then when I say I definitely should’ve, she goes “I think I drive myself crazy thinking about all the what-ifs, you know?” I might just be delusional, but I’ve been constantly thinking about that. BECAUSE ME TOO. What if she didn’t move? What if she never met that guy and stayed here? What if she had feelings for me and just didn’t want me to know? Anyways, she bought a plane ticket on impulse that night to come see me for my birthday. (i could throw up from excitement)
After that conversation (and us having an inevitable gaming session), I now want to throw myself into a the sea and die, because my feelings for her truly never went away. Anytime I was single, I would think about her in passing. I’m very scared that she truly just wants to be friends and doesn’t give a care in the world about everything that happened between us. Which I have no problem with, but it’s so hard because my chest hurts thinking about how much I truly wished things could’ve worked out differently. I wish we could’ve been more than friends.
I don’t know. I feel like anyone would just say “get over her, it’s been so long, who cares” BUT I CARE. It’s been years and if she asked me to be her girlfriend I wouldn’t even hesitate. I just wonder if she also had the intense fear of embracing homosexuality like I did/still do. I don’t know. Can someone please tell me what I should do? Be brutally honest, I need it.

Like... just what if?
In this whole fight i can barely remember a moment in which yuji got hit like in 261. He would always get hit but instantly come back with another punch. That's pretty much how yuji has always been, with the only exception being after nobara's death.
Hell, even after junpei's death, the shibuya massacre, nanami's and even gojo's death, yuji stood up and kept fighting.
This is the only moment i can remember of with yuji being distracted mid fight and getting a full hit with no comeback. And that's where it gets scary.
Look at yuta : Always compared or stated to be next to gojo, the one closest to the white-haired himself. And look at yuta's current situation.
Now.. look at how the characters talk and compare yuji : "Demon god" - choso "His techniques will eventually be marked on your body" - gojo And stated by the person who probably knew sukuna the most : "Wouldnt that mean he has the same potential as lord sukuna"
Not once, not twice had yuji been compared to sukuna. This special simetry between them.
Next : Yuji's current skills.
Aren't they that similar to sukuna's? Mostly fighting, braw and the slashes.
Gojo and yuta have these godly skills like blue, red, purple, love beam and stuff.
Sukuna and itadori are sort of more straight to the point : Strong body, strong regeneration, and an easy to understand technique.
Next : the black flash.
Sukuna has been show to have and amazing, godly understanding of CE and precision with its use. And what benefits has the black flash given to the one's who use it? Recovery, better understanding of CE and CT, Awakening.
After hitting another black flash, Mahito awakens and realizes his true form.
What if the next : "I'm you" takes us to the scariest moment of all?
Even more : What's Yuji's use to kenjaku? What if he wanted to make sure there was a Sukuna in casa things would go wrong?
What if in the next chapter we actually see the world cut hit gota, but not from Sukuna? What if the next black flash takes us.. to the darkest beam of fear?
Ps : I don't want this to happen, I'm really not a fan of sad/tragic endings. But this has been really stuck on my mind

So i’m currently a 20 years old male and my fantasy with men’s started back when i was 14-15 i think? So long story short my whole life was a “lie” and i always were an asshole and tried to be a “cool” kid i think you know which stereotype i mean. But 6 months ago i just decided to be who i am and just do what i like in ways of style how i dress or painting my nails and stuff and also got into the rave/techno scene which is pretty much abou respect and tolerance. So and then i’ve seen guys in crop tops at raves and stuff and i started to feel the raise of my feminine energy coming up which i blocked my whole life. So i started to wearing crop tops and painting my nails and so on and on but only when im under like minded people. But now im at a point where i don’t know “what” i am, if im bi or gay i don’t know and i kinda feel guilty and bad for being gay or whatever and then i’m so ashamed that i talk to myself again that im straight … Does this feeling get away and do i get clearness in my head who i am?
(Ps: i’m living in a small german village which is extremely old school and i’m planning of moving to berlin for studying and starting a completely “new life” there and just being who i am from beginning. I hope this will put some things clear but what are your thoughts?)

This is one of my first posts on here, but after watching Cody Ko’s reddit reading of bad roommates, I got inspired. Although this living situation has been over for around a month now, I still felt the need to post about this since it caused me and my friends so much HORROR. This story will be a little out of order, but I’m mainly going by each element, and all the names will be fake for privacy reasons. For some background information, me and my friend, Sky, decided last year to continue living in campus housing in an apartment. However, we were not lucky enough to get a two person apartment and instead went with a four person where we had two random people living with us. That’s why we were put in this situation with this girl, we did not know what living with her would bring to us beforehand.
Starting off, Harper (bad roommate) would also always leave her dirty dishes in the sink where they would sit for days before my other roommate Anastasia (now best friends with) would clean them up since none of us wanted to touch them. A little bit of additional context, both Sky and Anastasia have OCD, and one of their obsessions has to do with contamination. On top of that, I am a big germaphobe to the point where I believe things that have come into contact with something I consider to be dirty have now been contaminated. This would be less annoying if these were her dishes, but these were the dishes that I bought for us to all use. She did the same with the pots/pans/cooking utensils that my other roommates had brought, where she would either leave them on the stove or in the sink for days. On top of that, whenever she used the stovetop, she would almost never clean it after so there would just be food stains/scraps/oil splatters left around for us to clean in her stead. When she did clean up the stove, it was clear she just did it with a dry paper towel as oil would just be smeared around.
It wasn’t just dishes and food she didn’t help clean up either, she also never helped clean around the apartment and ignored us when we did (I’m guessing so she didn’t have to help). Harper never cleaned the bathroom she shared with Anastasia, she hardly ever took out the trash and recycling despite us having assigned days for it, she only ever did these when I explicitly told her she had to since it was full on her day. She never wiped down the kitchen counter on her assigned day unless explicitly asked, and she never filled nor emptied the dishwasher. One part that I find especially funny was when we were having one of our roommate meetings (mainly held for us to bring up the things we need her to do/start doing without directly naming her) where we brought up the topic of all of us helping out with the cleaning, and she told us that she vacuums the living room rug when no. one. is. home. How convenient, huh. (I would also like to add that this was her rug🙄)
That’s not all though, another thing that Harper never did for us was buy any of the equally shared things. She never bought dish soap, kitchen hand soap or bathroom hand soap, paper towels, toilet paper, trash bags, or dishwasher pods. If you can think of it we can name it as something she didn’t buy. None of these are necessarily bank breaking expensive, but if you’re equally sharing a product with others, you should also pitch in every once in a while. But I think the cherry on top of it all was that she seriously stunk. I’m not talking like bad perfume or slight B.O. either. I’m talking she just ran a marathon without deodorant and then swam a lap through a dumpster, bad.
When Harper first moved in, we thought that it was maybe just a one time thing where she could have forgotten deodorant and with all the heavy lifting from move-in the smell got even worse, so we just opened the windows and sucked it up. But it wasn’t just a one time thing, it was an entire school year thing where me and my roommates were stuck with this stench. I know describing it like this may make me and my roommates seem like mean girls, but it really was just that bad. Some examples to put it into perspective include me being able to smell when she returned home despite being in the shower with water, my shampoo/conditioner and body wash supposedly dampening the smell. Me and my roommates were also able to tell if she was home or not based purely off of smell, and her room was permanently stuck with her B.O. whether or not she was home. Making things worse for Sky and myself, our bathroom just happened to be right across from Harper’s bedroom so her stench would always go into it. It reached the point where we would either be going through bottles of febreze to clear up the air enough for us to simply use our bathroom or holding our breath until we were out. I feel like from that alone I’ve gotten to the point where I could beat an olympic swimmer in a breath holding contest without breaking a sweat. Her smell also soaked into my towels to dry off from showering even if I had only used them once and made sure before and after that I did not smell before using them. Her B.O. occasionally leaked into Sky’s room who was right next to hers, so she would have to face her fan towards the window and put it on high. If Harper went to use the kitchen or stayed in another room, that was now a room that could not be simultaneously occupied by us.
All of this, but especially the smell, lead to many breakdowns among me and my roommates throughout the year. I know this might seem extreme to some, but it truly affected our mental health quite a bit, even changing our daily functioning patterns. And before you question if we brought all these concerns up with her, I want you to know that we did. Throughout the 9 months we lived with her, we had at least 4-5 roommate meetings where we brought up the smell and lack of cleaning. Despite us starting out nice and saying that we noticed a smell, or a lack of cleaning, we eventually moved to just straight up telling her the smell was her and we needed her to do more cleaning. We even texted her or let her know privately outside these meetings. Almost every time we were either ignored, deflected, or told false promises. There was even one solid week near the end of second semester where we noticed she just didn’t smell at all. Like did her laundry and showered but was still living with us like before so I believe that it showed she could have just done that all along but didn’t care (I very well could be wrong).
Also if you’re concerned that this may be related to mental health, culture, or other causes, we also covered those bases. First of all, it is not culture related. Harper is white and also owns deodorant, which Anastasia has said she’s never seen actually be used. She also showers, but once again, Anastasia has told us she hasn’t seen her body wash go down. I know that might seem weird, but when you’re stuck in an apartment with someone who smells, you’re bound to check those things. We’ve also rarely seen her do laundry in our in-home washer and dryers (I’m talking 3-4 times for the entire 9 months), or even wash her bedding.
We also tried to get her to open up about if she has depression or if any other causes could be related to it by sharing some of our own mental health troubles and such. This, of course, does not mean she’s obligated to open up to us, but due to nothing being said we have no reason to believe this is the case. It very well could be, but since we do not know for sure we can not default to assumptions as excuses for her behavior. We also tried bringing this up with our RA near the end of second semester, but we never heard anything back on it. A part of me feels bad for how I feel about Harper and spoke about her since she is a nice person (although it was more basic human decency) but I feel that all these negative experiences have just been transferred to her and I can’t erase those. There is still more things I could bring up but this post has gotten long.

Hi All!
Wondering what you may have done in a similar situation so I can learn and try different things next time.
My lease horse is very hesitant in 1 corner and side of the ring. The ring is blocked off by a fence but that side goes down hill so kind of drops off and has been known to have deer other wild life there in the past. I’ve known this it’s a behavior she has had since being at this barn. Her spook is never bad she doesn’t bolt or anything like that. I’ve ridden through a few of her spooks all has been fine.
Today she didn’t really want to work it was hot she was being lazy but she just seemed particularly tense and stressed in the ring and kept looking over to that side and current spot. In the past I have walked her over showed her nothing is there given her treats talked to her soothingly etc. She also can be distracted by being engaged with work.
Today she just would not continue to work and would stop ears straight up forward and breathing would start to her short and shallow. I would let her look and pet her and say it’s ok good girl but it just seemed to happen throughout the whole ride.
I eventually got off walked over with her showed her the area gave her treats soothed her but didn’t end up getting back on. She still seemed very tense. I am wondering if she saw something I didn’t. This is the longest it has lasted and I honestly didn’t feel like it was worth it to ride her if she was feeling so stressed.
Hoping it’s a 1 off situation but we’ll see. I would like to work through this with her but the owner has said she is just always spooky there and has reason to be so it’s not something she can desensitize her too outside of what we are doing. I also don’t typically ride her over there because it’s not necessary if it’s stressful for her and I’m risking her spook there are other places to ride.
Today the behavior was happening when we were at the other side of the ring she would just stop turn and stare.
Hope this makes sense. Thank you for your help!

This is the ninth apartment in the sixth state that I've lived in, and it's been my worst experience of the bunch! Here's the story:
Last year, I was asked to move to my company's HQ. Since I'd be moving from one of the highest COL areas in the country to a MUCH lower one, and keeping the same salary with a nice raise on the horizon, I jumped at the chance. I immediately found a nice apartment complex that had just been built and started calling them for more info. It took FOREVER to get someone on the phone, but when I did, she was as nice as could be and answered all of my questions. I went ahead and applied online, and was approved immediately. I was given a move-in date (that I chose) and I started getting ready. About 6-7 weeks later, I rented my UHaul and decide to call the complex to find out if everything was good to go. I'm told that despite being promised a move-in date, the complex can't legally open yet and they don't know when they'll be ready! They explain that they also own a hotel nearby and that I could get a really cheap rate if I moved in there while they got it sorted out. I literally have to be at work at HQ the following Monday, so I don't have much choice. I drive across the country, dump everything I own into a storage unit, check into the hotel, and go to work. Over the next two weeks, I repeatedly try to get an answer on when they'll be ready, each time being told; "Just a couple more days". Finally, they called me and said that I could come pick up the keys. I go into the office the next day and they still don't have anything ready. They asked me to sign a single sheet of paper that outlines the lease (it was just the address and the lease length on a couple of lines) while they drew up the full document. That was NINE months ago. I've never been sent the full lease to sign, and the last nine months have been awful here...
The apartment itself is actually kinda nice, but the entire complex is run horribly. One of the amenities that I was promised when I moved in wasn't given to me for over six months, but I've paid $50 per month for it since moving in, and they've refused to refund me for the first six. I was promised to be notified as soon as a garage was open to rent, and they never did. I tried asking them for over a month about renting one recently, and when they finally answered, the price was double what they originally promised. They charge me monthly for pest control but I've never seen any evidence that they've sprayed and there are bugs everywhere. Since moving in here, a MUCH nicer complex has opened nearby that would suit my needs better and I'd love to move. I figured I could wait out the summer and move at the end of my lease (which I never signed). I checked in the app and it now says that I signed a 14-month lease (I thought it was 12), which is rounded up to the end of the final month, effectively making it 15 months since I moved to town! I would go talk to the manager, but the last time I did that (to ask some very simple questions), she got super defensive and refused to answer me. She even tried to turn my concerns around on me and gaslight me into thinking I was breaking some sort of rule about my electric grill (which I asked about in advance). I didn't let her, and she then told the nice girl that worked for her that I was a "psycho", who repeated it to me when I went to complain to her. A couple of months later, the nice girl was fired and I've refused to walk in there ever since. The only time I've EVER seen the manager look happy was one night when the cops showed up and she was strutting toward one of the buildings like the warden in Supermax, I assume to evict someone.
I know that's a wall of text, and I probably got off course once or twice there, but I'm so furious that it's hard to keep my thoughts straight. I feel like I have two options: I could attempt to get in touch with the corporate offices directly and go over her head, but I doubt I'd get very far. I've also thought about going in and asking her politely what the penalty is for breaking my lease, which would probably excite her to no end. After she tells me, I would then ask her to pull up a copy of my signed lease agreement and show me the addendum that I agreed to about that. She obviously won't be able to produce it, at which point I could offer the solution of just calling it a wash and letting me move out ASAP. I've been a model tenant in every apartment I've lived in and I've got a flawless rental history. I really don't want this nutjob ruining that by trying to accuse me of something that I didn't do. I also really want OUT of this hellhole. Any advice is much appreciated.
Thanks-

So every year I like to make a formal review of that years DC Pride Anthology (or other anthologies like it), see 2023, 2022, (2021 was on Discord), and I like to treat it as not just a showcase of the current, big name talents working at DC (or the established characters), but also the emerging, new talents (and characters)
So I usually like to rank these pieces on strength of writing, strength of art, as well as general comments on how the individual pieces come together as an arrangement, and what I hope to see in future installments. So as a whole for this installment, it was fine. Usually for any anthology you get a mix, one or two strong, stand out stories, maybe even one really bad story that moves the discourse along for all the wrong reasons. But this year, there wasn't really a "bad" story. Most of them were fine, some were good, but I will say, previous installments had higher highs (but also lower lows).
In terms of how they've progressed/improved over the years, I'd mentioned in 2022 I'd like to see more pin-ups (there were 3 that year), and we got far more in 2023 and 2024. Last year I was hoping to see fewer tie-ins to ongoing events, and this year was far better in that regard. I was also hoping to see more variation in page number per story from last year's anthology, so that the number of pages fit the size of the idea, and while I haven't done a full page count, I felt there must have been a variety, and that each story was well paced for the size of its ideas.
That being said, onto the stories proper, in order of best to least best (because again, this year there wasn't really a "worst"):
Hello, Spaceboy, by Al Ewing and Stephen Byrne - okay so I don't know if I ever mentioned in these reviews, but I'm not just looking for the best written stories, art or characters, but also in representing Pride, the best representation of LGBT issues, be it large scale political/societal, or else small scale social/relationship wise. And this story does have both ends/scopes of that, making it the top of this years entry for me, having both the discussion about the use or burden of labels at the start, especially as language shifts between generations, but also the innuendo at the end (where fighting becomes euphemistic for other more intimate activities, just like we saw with last year's Ghost Maker story), and the frank discussion about relationships, boundaries, and interpersonal wants between Mikaal and Komak, and the implied discussions that have also taken place with Rutger. But while we're at it, I was surprised to see Starman in this collection, not having seen him in any of the previous, if I recall right (apart from a pin up in 2023). And the art has a great polish to it (even getting a double-page splash, that's saying a lot!), the character designs are fitting, and the colouring is gorgeous. And damn, sneaking Al Ewing into a DC antho? Can we expect more of that?
Lessons in Astral Projection, by Nicole Maines and Jordan Gibson - ok so I haven't exactly caught up with Dreamer outside of the Pride anthos given annually, but this story to me had the best art this year, having distinctly different tones and styles between the physical world in the main plot, vs the visions/dreams she receives through her powers having a more flowy, abstract feel. Plus the strong choice of colouring throughout really gave this story a strong identity. Plus, it does get that social side of the discussion, showing how identity in regards to gender can come into tension with things like culture or generational attitudes, while also giving a sweet emotional moment as a reprieve from the hurt.
The Rivers and The Lakes That You're Used To, by Ngozi Ukazu - this one, just like the Jackson/Ha'Wea offering from 2022 was a pretty cosy story, Jackson and Ha'Wea are hanging out/on a date, when a super hero plot interupts them. Jackson gets a glimpse of what queer love and acceptance can look like in a Utopian society (New Genesis), before coming home with a changed perspective, that putting a label on his relationship is less important (or maybe less daunting) than knowing what you want and who you are comfortable with. The art style is nice and simple, without being plain at all, and definitely fits the feeling of the story.
Steeling Time, by Jamila Rowser and ONeillJones - this story has a simple premise, how to keep up in social/community appearances when you know your ex is going to be there, but the Pride part of it, other than showing that a queer relationship can have the same ups and downs as any straight relationship, is a bit hidden, though could be read as how especially being part of LGBT as a community, that can mean keeping everyone together and having everyone's backs, despite minor personal hang ups like this. There are also a lot of cameo appearances of many well known LGBT DC characters in the background of different panels, but the story is otherwise straightforward.
Marasmius, by Gretchen Felker-Martin and Claire Roe - idk who Janet from HR is (is she from HQTAS? From Ivy's ongoing series?), but this short has a fun fantasy setting and world to it, some alien planet specialising in rare, alien or extinct botanical species. I even swear I saw a keh-Topli from Far Sector, but it could have been an otherwise unrelated alien species. Anyway, the plot is a bit illogical, some random Earth bigots/protestors just happen to be there too, to protest queer couples from Earth? On an alien planet/black market? Did they expect to see queer couples from Earth here? The absurdity could just be played for laughs, or maybe it's just a plot contrivance to get the story moving. It's got nice art, and a bit of revenge wish-fulfilment at the end of Ivy taking down the bigots (in ways that remind you why she used to be a villain), but I wasn't wowed by the story, if it was trying to make any sort of real world connections
Bros down in A-Town, by Jarret Williams and D. J. Kirkland - this story to me was, kind of annoying? Like, it's written like a gag manga, where characters can't go more than a few panels without making a silly face, acting stupid and misunderstanding each other, doing totally canned-reactions that are very "anime" (the head knock, the smug-glasses lift, going Kawaii, doing the forehead-vein thing). Like, it just feels out of place in western comics, obvious in what it's referencing, but at the same time, entirely inauthentic. Like, this isn't how people really interact with each other, this is how tropey character archetypes act, but the more and more you copy someone else's exaggerated performance, the further away you get from real world relatability. It does have a small moment at the end connecting back to pride, that is, even if all 4 boys here are the same for being queer, that doesn't mean they feel the same all the time (Jon's parents were accepting so he has an easier time feeling accepted, Ray's parents were not, so he has a harder time feeling comfortable, even in what should be queesafe spaces). And I do like the idea of an alien food market, especially as it shows a way of outsiders coming together to stay strong and connected. But god are the character interactions still annoying: Ray obviously isn't comfortable in this scene, and is not letting on why, yet Jay decides to dig (to show off how good of a "reporter" he is), but that only adds to Ray's discomfort and anxiety, and like, is Jay really unfamiliar with social cues to this degree? Same with trying to "out" Bunker's new partner. Like, why can't a friend see and allow someone to move at their own pace? There's a time and place for sleuthing, and on your friends in a safe space is not it. Furthermore, Jay asks Bunker for the "spicy" details about his partner, and when Bunker reveals he likes his partner's smell, especially after a work out (a common attraction, to be fair), Jay acts all childish and grossed out. Like, were you not the one asking for spicy details? Are these characters not all adults, talking about their adult dating lives? Did Jay not just dress Jon up in a sleeveless (torn sleeveless, to be correct) work out hoodie for this very reason? Because we know Jon doesn't just put that on himself lol. (I've got to admit, I know Jay is not a very popular character in general, but this story really isn't a good showing for him). Also while we're at it, the audacity for GLAAD to advertise with a poster simply saying "Pride is a protest", given Jon's infamous line in the 2022 antho denying Pride as a protest, saying "Pride has been a party for decades"
Phantom Rodeo, by Calvin Kasulke and Len Gogoe - Jules Jourdain had my least favourite story in last years anthology, and I'm sorry to say, but he had my least favourite addition to this volume as well, and for much of the same reasons: last year it was the whole Lazarus Planet event/tie ins, this year this story is sandwiched between Flash issue #8 and #10. I don't read or follow Flash, I've seen infographics of the whole Speed/Slow/Sage/Strength Force, but I don't much care for it. I thought anthologies are strong for standing alone, but this story demands knowledge of current ongoing books and continuity. Also, across both entries of the character, I still barely know anything about the character, who they are, how they think and feel, what their relationships are, their ideas and values. You only get to know their powers (kind of) in very mechanical terms, and how "important" they are for this or that other Flash stories that you need to read. I don't even remember it connecting to queer social or interpersonal issues at all, other than just Jules living in a small town (but that's more so played to hide his hero identity, than to talk about the queer experience in small town settings). I mean, I can only hope there are better stories for Jules in the future. But not ones that demands my attention (and money) elsewhere.
Before getting into the other written work, I'll mention the pin ups. This year, the pin-ups collectively had a shared theme (each single pinup was a single colour of the Progress rainbow, so the collection together has the full set of colours). It also has a pair of characters per each pin up who's primary colours reflect each theme. I will say, I find the concept a little contrived, because it forces characters together who otherwise have nothing to do with each other, other than wearing some of the same colours. Following that, I couldn't even recognise some of the characters in these pin-ups, just because they have such little cross-over between each other in the broader DC universe that I'm just unfamiliar with like half of them, despite often recognising strongly the other members of these contrived "pairs". They are as follows: Red - Robin and Who?, Orange - Grace Choi and Who?, Yellow - Catman and Thunder, Green - Connor Hawke and Piep Piper, Blue - Bluejay and Obsidian, Purple - Galaxy and Who?. So this is not a criticism of the art at all, because they are all quality pieces. More so their curation, because I don't see much reason for many of these characters to be together. Like, none of the pieces had the two characters interact in interesting or meaningful ways, because none of them had any reason or history to interact, so at the most you just get two people standing in the same room, or floating heads of unrelated charactes. Like as an alternative, Orange and Yellow are adjacent colours, couldn't we have seen Thunder and Grace Choi together? That would straight away lead to better interactions and hence a more engaging pin-up. Same with Blue and Green being adjacent, we could have gotten Obsidian and Green Lantern together as a fatheson symbol. In terms of my preference, I like the Green pin up the most, because I love the intricate, detailed, thin line style of Helen Mask, but none of them are bad in quality. I hope they don't use this "theme" again though.
Ok so for the remaining written work:
The Strange Case of Harley and Harleen, by Melissa Marr and Jenn St-Onge, this was a teaser for an upcoming GN. I was surprised we didn't get a full HarlIvy story this year, as they usually have the mose consistent showings in each book (but again, I don't really keep up with either character). So this isn't DC Universe Harley and Ivy, it's a YA version. I can see this story being fun in a similar way to Breaking Glass, and I can see how it handles it's queer themes in a similar manner. It works well then as a preview of it's future release, but given it was only a preview, I couldn't really judge it in the same way as the previous stories.
And finally, there is the more biographical story, Spaces, by Phil Jimenez and Giulio Macaione. This will be reminiscent of Kevin Conroy's story in the 2022 anthology, and I really like that they are continuing showing the real world impact and reality of queer experiences in these books, representing the lives of creators we care about (through more than just their work, or their interviews), showing us details of the industry we partake in, but also showing the connection to the real world in the most obvious sense, why collections and stories like these matter, for how all of these queer creators, and fans, and everyone else goes on to live their lives after reading these stories. So this offering by Jimenez is a really personal glimpse about not just his creative process, and where he gets his ideas from, but also his childhood and how it shaped his adult life. Again, given its biographical nature, I can't rank it fairly against the other stories in this collection, but I'm glad all the same we got to share it.
So for my final thoughts, and what I hope to see next year: 1) more biographical works like these! These works are full of queer creators, and seeing them invest in characters is of course one good thing, but each of them could truly have experiences as deep as these, that could with each entry lead to stronger connections with their works. 2) for the characters, bring back more heavy hitters! And I don't mean just do HarlIvy every year, but what about Kate Kane? She had a beautiful story in 2021. 2022 featured her dad, 2023 she was a side character to a Lazarus newbie. Or, where's Alan Scott? He recently had a new series, this would have been a great opportunity to shed more light either way. Or even the heavy hitters you do have, let them take heavy hits. Jackson and Jon are Aquaman and Superman, let their stories be more important than a date or a food market. Small, social moments are important, but they can take place along bigger moments/causes too! 3) for the art, please just drop the theme, it felt forced, and less organic on the whole than just getting artists to make work they care about with characters they care about.

I could hardly believe it, even now as the cacophony of battle deafened my ears, part of me was still in shock. His angels, his daughters, his people....traitors. I ducked behind a crumbling pillar as bolter fire cascaded around me, chipping my cover and sending up clouds of dust. My squad returned fire, but there were a smaller amount of lasguns than what we started with.
Our mission was simple if you could call it that. Board a void ship belonging to the now traitors Luna Wolves, expend all available resources to reach the engine bay, plant explosives, and detonate, taking an entire void ship full of traitors with us. My squad was one of ten that boarded the ship at different points, hoping to spread their numbers enough to allow one of us to reach the point. We underestimated them.
We knew what Space Marines were, we knew this wouldn't be easy, we knew we would die, yet we never expected this. The marines were different. They seemed faster, tougher, not shirking from pain at times but enjoying it. They were different, they were like monsters. My men were picked off, toyed with at times, and from the vox comms, I knew that the other squads faired no better. Even the regular men and women that stalled us before the Marines would arrive were different, crazed even. I saw three krak grenades get lobbed in the direction of the enemy, after a few moments the hallways shuddered under the explosions.
When the dust cleared, the Luna Wolf and other defenders were nothing more than gore and paste. Time to press on, though as we did I only felt a building adhesion in my gut. I walked in here with 15 men, no I only had three left. With the engine bay so close in sight, I could only hope that we met no other obstacles.
I was an idiot for even thinking that.
There were four Luna wolves there, grinning twisted smiles that held no mirth and pulled their face back more than it should have. In the hands of one was a woman from another squadron, or at least what was left of her. From the strings of gore and exposed bone I knew that there was no expertise in her torture. It was not gentle, quick, nor painless, a fate that I assumed would meet all of us. The Luna Wolf that held the corpse seemed to be in charge, stepping forward and tossed the corpse, reducing it to just another pile of innards and bone.
"Well it seemed our next bout of entertainment has arrived, do try to be better playthings than the last group, they were so pitifully weak." He drew a chain sword slick with blood, the rattling of it's chain slower than one would expect. To ensure that the cut was slow, that limbs were grinded off rather than cut. The other traitor marines merely advanced with bloodstained hands. All of their movements slow, eyes filled with a sick pleasure as their feet crushed the corpses around them.
Time seemed to slow down as they approached. Should I detonate all of the explosives? We were in the engine bay, we would do some damage and take them out. If the damage wasn't enough then this would all be labeled as a failure, all of the suffering and death would have been for nothing. I would need to find a way deeper, so at least on of ours could cripple the ship. A scream of anguish brought me from my thinking. One of the Marines had suddenly raced towards one of my men, Samson, and was eagerly squeezing and crushing his bones one by one, each time brining forth a new scream. Another man, Gresh, begun to run, screaming in fear and trying his best to flee. The final man, Nadir, seemed to be frozen in shock, much like I was for a moment. The sudden rattle of a chain sword shook me awake once again.
I dived backward, my cheek being sliced by an attack that would have severed me at the neck. My heart racing as I looked up at the traitorous marine as he slowly lifted his sword. "Very good little mouse, how about the next one?" He was toying with me with a speed that I could barely dodge, but was within my ability to do so.
My nerves were frayed, my hands and legs trembling at my near brush with death. The screams of my men echoed around me but were slowly silenced one by one as the sword climbed higher and higher, unable to take my eyes of the churning metal or move my body. The final thought I had was one of thanks to whatever was out there, that despite being unable to run, my hand could still reach the detonator. moving it as slow as I could so the action wouldn't be spotted. I felt my fingers curl around the cool metal just as the sword fell like silver lighting. I had one more thought apparently, and a rather embarrassing one. I wasn't fast enough.
"Newly appointed Sargent Astrovas."
The voice wasn't loud, it was almost meek compared to the sounds that surrounded me. Yet still is pierced every other noise, reverberating within the metal room and created soft echoes that soon gave way to perfect silence. The expression on the Marines faces has changed. Gone was the sick and sadistic pleasure, instead confusion, shock, and in a slight glimmer I sword I saw fear.
"Hargim, Ubaldiaen, and Astehn. 3rd squad of Tenth company."
The voice seemed to have no origin, instead echoing out of the darkness and corners of the bay. Each time it spoke it seemed to come from a different direction briefly before it filled the entire area. I seemed to be forgotten, and I held my breath to ensure that. The other three marines now stood, abandoning their foul play with corpses to observe the situation at hand. The one that stood above him no brought his sword close, eyes scanning the darkness. Just barley I could hear him mutter under his breath. "..not possible."
"37 merits, 20 accolades, 15 medals, and 1 Paragon award. For going beyond what all other Marines have done, and doing what no other Marine has done...How the mighty have fallen."
Fear was no apparent in many of their face as they lashed around, turning in circles as they searched for the origin of this voice. It sounded sad, almost disappointed, yet somehow it worked these demons into a frenzy. The one that had lunged upon Samson sneered.
"It's a trick, I don't know how they got the information on him or who is doing it but it can't be real." With renewed bravado the marine walked to the shadows flexing his hands. "I just hope whatever or whoever it is can run, becuase when I g-" The sound of wingbeats cut him off as he vanished. The only thing left was the shifting of dust in his place, and after a beat of silence, the cracking of bones. He was thrown back into the light from the shadows, a mangled peice of flesh with bones sticking out and within at odd angles.
"Though squads of the Luna Wolves usually contain five marines, while yours only has...had four. The last time we spoke, you were not yet Sargent....so where is he."
The marine snarled in response, almost sounding bestial as the roar of the chain sword joined in his primal showing of might. Another marine spoke up, almost attempting to reason with the voice. "We didn't want to, it was what needed to be done, you can see that can't you. We were order-" Another beat of wings, another disappearance, yet this time no body returned. Only the wet sounds of flesh tearing from flesh could be heard in the shadows.
The voice did not return, instead footsteps could be heard. For a moment I dreaded that my would be savoir has been killed by the traitor marine, but they were far lighter than one made my the augmented warriors. Stepping into the dim light was a man. Tall and pale with raven hair. He wore a standard issue uniform of the guard, but only the pants. The bottom of them charred and ragged as if he just walked through a explosion. Despite all of this, something deep within me, a forgotten instinct, told me that whatever this was, was not a human.
The chain sword once again died to a quiet purr as shock fully engulfed the two remaining marines. Silence building until finally it was broken. The only marine left besides the one that stood above me dropped to his knees with a wail. "Forgive us Sir. Forgive us for what we have done. We were weak. We....butchered Decurius...becuase he refused to revolt. We...he...we failed, and he still did not raise a hand against us." The marine wrecked with emotion fell forward with a bowed head, tears dripping from his face as he prostrated himself for forgiveness.
The man moved forward, further into the light. Despite my attempts at resisting, I still sucked in air from the shock of the sight. Two great black leather wings rested behind his form, coated in midnight black scales. His skin not pale, but ashen, and his footsteps boiled and burned whatever flesh or blood he stepped upon. Upon reaching the begging Marine, a small smile graced his features as he kneeled, placing a gentle hand on his head.
"Astehn, I remember when you were but a neophyte. You failed, yes, but unlike your brothers, you sought redemption. I know not if your betrayal was out of fear, or that you recognize your mistakes, but that act alone means that while you might have failed, the Sargent did not fail in training you."
The man lifted up the Marine by the shoulder, a warm smile on his face as regret and remorse seemed to grip the Marine once more. "I know I can never be forgiven. I only ask that I give my life to make right wh-" A bolter round echoed throughout the chamber as Astehn's head was obliterated. His corpse falling lifelessly to the ground as his blood and body joined the many other dead.
As the tender scene was abruptly ended my eyes raced to the Marine that stood above me. A heavy bolt pistol in his hand as a look of sadistic joy covered his face. No sooner did the body drop than he let loose a hideous cackle. "Another weakling, no wonder there was a kinship between the two of you. Decurius was weak, he feared true strength, so he had to be removed. Strength is everything little princeling, it is the natural state of the universe. The strong may do whatever they want to the weak, becuase they can not do anything to stop it."
The chain sword roared once more to life as he slowly walked towards the man. "I will enjoy reminding you of your weakness, who knows maybe I'll be rewarded. Killing the man that evaded death at Hatho-" The man, who had not moved from the marines corpse suddenly vanished. Gore and blood kicked up in his wake as he reappeared in from of the taunting Marine. His fist embedding itself in the ceramite chest plate, cracking and bending it as the Marine was flung backwards from the impact.
The mans hands were balled into fists, the smell of smoke filling the air as he drew himself to his full height. He no longer moved like a man with nothing left, but like a man possessed. From behind his dark hair to rings of white light shone, filled with fury.
"You dare speak her name...In my presence? To think that I would draw breath again, to hear, smell, and see. And that when I step upon the mortal world once again the first thing I see is not my wife but you Astrovas. I do not have the time to list your crimes or sins. To lament as to why you have angered me and why you will be punished. You must simply know two things. I am going to break your newfound philosophy, but before that, I am going to break you."
His eyes looked down to me, seemingly noticing me for the first time among all of this. He reached out his hand towards me, and I closed my eyes in fear as whatever this creature was drew near. Instead I felt the detonator lightly pulled from my grasp where I had forgotten it. He gave me a nod as I slowly opened my eyes.
"I commend you for the attempt, but your time is not now Soldier. Get some rest, that's an order."
Despite all of what I saw, and all of what I knew, something about his voice seemed so warm. He unfurled a wing and swept it towards me. A great black blanket seemed to envelop me as my eyes found themselves shutting against my will. Before I was robbed of consciousness, the last thing I saw on his wings were small pinpricks of white that seemed to sparkle. It looked almost as if the night sky had swallowed me up.
When I next awoke I was in a void ship medical bay. I was found unconscious within it, after being sent on a suicide mission that to my surprise had been successful. The whole thing was forbidden to be talked about by some man from the Dark Angels, who called himself Squire, after he heard a few things about it, so I still don't know what or who that man was. I can only guess that he's someone good, as the Squire seemed to smile when I talked about him.

I am new to Reddit, so go easy on me. I also posted this on the Sciatica & back pain page, so I hope that it's Ok to post in more than one place. I am searching for answers or others who have been through this because I don't know what to do or say to docs. I'm sorry this is long, but I don't want to leave anything out.
I am 44yo, female. I have what the doctors describe as "on the high end of moderate" scoliosis and have dealt with back pain, sciatica, etc for 25 years. Up until last week, I have been able to control the pain flares using stretching, rest, anti-inflammatories, etc. About a two weeks ago I was in bed for a couple days due to the worst back pain and numbness I have experienced yet. It was the same type of back and sciatica pain but there was a new feeling of pain/numb that came around my groin area, mostly on the right side. I managed it with meds and rest but it never went 100% away. Last week, the same groin (where my leg meets my pelvis area) pain and numbness on the left side started. Then the weird things started happening. Last Wednesday I realized I lost the sensation to urinate. I don't even know if that is the right way to describe it but basically, when I sat down to pee, no matter what I did, nothing would come out. It had also been a couple days since a bowel movement, but I wasn't concerned about that at this point.
After 24 hours of not being able to pee plus increasing pain, I went to the ER. They did a CT scan, said "sometimes bladders do weird things" and stuck a catheter in me. Their plan was to send me home with the catheter in place and to follow up with urology. I held firm that this was not normal and the pain was so bad I couldn't just go home and wait a couple weeks for a urologist appt. They reluctantly admitted me for "pain management" and a urology consult. Urology PA said the CT scan showed the bladder was fine so what ever made my bladder upset wasn't urology related and wanted to discharge me for follow up in their office about the catheter. When I asked what exactly I should do next cause not peeing or pooping is not normal for me, the urology PA said she was going to send in her associate to have a second look. New PA asked some questions about where my pain is, etc and said we needed to order an MRI of my lower (lumbar) spine.
I was in the hospital, in bed and on strong anti inflammatories for two days before they did the MRI. By the time the MRI was done, my back/groin was feeling a little better but only if I kept up on the meds.
MRI results read: L4-5: Disc degeneration. Broad-based disc bulge with a 2 mm central disc extrusion with minimal inferior migration. Mild facet arthrosis.
L5-S1: Disc degeneration. Broad-based disc bulge with a superimposed 2 mm central disc protrusion abutting the descending S1 nerve roots more so on the right as compared to the left.
The Urology PA said that the MRI was fine and I was good to go home. They left the catheter in as I wasn't able to urinate on my own while in the hospital.
I have been home for 3 days and am on day 7 of not being able to have a bowel movement but it doesn't feel like constipation. It's like I can't make the brain to rectum connection to push (if that even makes sense). If I stand or sit in a chair for more than a few minutes, the pain and numbness in my groin / lower back and the sciatica is so bad I am in tears and can't walk very well due to a weird feeling on my right side. The only time I'm at a less than a level 7 in pain is if I'm reclining in my bed in such a way that I don't put much pressure on my tailbone and groin area. I am taking Toradol and Tylenol.
I saw the urologist today and after removing the catheter and filling my bladder, I still wasn't able to urinate. I can feel that my bladder is full but I can't get it to come out. The PA said the MRI would have been definitive on this being caused by a nerve / back issue but she also said she hasn't seen this type of issue before and is only a year into being a PA so she hasn't "seen everything" yet.
I have an appt with an Ortho doc. tomorrow at 4pm but it's a new doc to me as I have been able to manage my back pain on my own for a while now. I feel like they are going to think I'm nuts when I show up with a catheter and then tell them I haven't pooped in a week!
Has anyone had something similar happen to them? I don't know if this could be Cauda Equina and I'm wondering if there are similar type problems I could be looking into. I don't want to overreact but as the days go on and I'm not getting better, I'm starting to get worried that the MRI isn't telling the whole story. I dunno... I'm grasping at straws and just want to pee, poop and not be in pain!