I'm currently in court proceedings because social services took my family to court because I asked for mental health support after my son was born. This was in Feb BTW Lately my wife has been going on about divorce so at least one of us are with our son (social services think I'm going to kill my son because of my mental health) but she won't listen when I tell her it will mean I won't be allowed to be in both there lives
So we get on to the problem of the day (19th of may) she's at her sister and had weed, she messaged me saying I need to go find some girls online and flirt with them because and I quote "get a gd time" from one of them (she's been messaging a handful of dudes that have openly admitted to just wanting to fuck her one being an ex that raped her that she's going out drinking with soon) We go back and forth for hours and I eventually just ask "Are you giving me a free fuck pass because you feel guilty or because you want one in return" and she said both We again ho back and forth but this time arguing and it ends on "goodbye[wife's name] I think we need to talk about this properly when your not high, I think you should stay at your sisters tomorrow" but then she goes off on me saying "fuck you thennnnnn, just fuck off already if you want to leave so bad"
I don't know what I've done and how to fix it I don't want a divorce, I want my family but do I still have a family anymore? If she feels guilty and wants a free fuck pass did she flirt too hard with someone and catch feelings? Does she even love me anymore I'm nothing without them and sadly that's not even being dramatic, everything in my life since I met my wife became centred around her, once my sone was born (this year jan) it was all about them 2, I've burnt so many bridges with family,friends I even quit work because she disliked my manager. I can't loose them but feel I already have.
Idk if this post will be my last as I'm about to go outside for a cig and maybe sit in the road. I hope all of you get where you need to be in life, I appear to have lost my place in it

Prom believes in building products with a forward-thinking perspective. In the rapidly evolving blockchain ecosystem, staying ahead of technological advancements is crucial. One such advancement that stands out is Zero-Knowledge Rollups (ZK-Rollups). With their inherent privacy and scalability benefits, ZK-Rollups are set to play a pivotal role in meeting the ever-increasing demands of the blockchain ecosystem.

What are ZK-Rollups?

Zero-Knowledge Rollups, or ZK-Rollups, are a type of Layer 2 scaling solution for blockchains. They allow for higher transaction throughput without compromising security or decentralization. In essence, ZK-Rollups enable multiple transactions to be rolled up into a single batch and processed off-chain, with a cryptographic proof submitted to the main blockchain to ensure their validity.
The key innovation behind ZK-Rollups is the use of Zero-Knowledge Proofs (ZKPs). ZKPs allow validators to prove the authenticity of a transaction without revealing any specific details about the transaction itself. This ensures that while the transaction is validated and secure, sensitive information remains private.

The Advantage of ZK-Rollups Over Other Rollups

To fully appreciate the benefits of ZK-Rollups, it’s helpful to compare them with another popular scaling solution: Optimistic Rollups.

1. Transaction Validation:

• Optimistic Rollups: Assume all transactions are valid unless proven otherwise. Validators can challenge transactions within a specific timeframe if they believe they are incorrect.
• ZK-Rollups: Assume all transactions are false until they are proven valid through ZKPs. This means each batch of transactions is accompanied by a cryptographic proof that ensures their validity before they are added to the blockchain.
• Optimistic Rollups: Have a challenge period (typically a week) during which transactions can be disputed. This delay can impact the finality of transactions.
• ZK-Rollups: Provide immediate finality as the validity proof is generated and verified in real-time, without the need for a challenge period.

Security and Privacy:

• Optimistic Rollups: Rely on economic incentives to deter malicious activity. While effective, this method still carries some risk.
• ZK-Rollups: Offer higher security due to cryptographic proofs and enhanced privacy since transaction details are not disclosed.

Why Prom is Embracing ZK-Rollups

At Prom, our commitment to innovation and excellence drives us to adopt the most advanced technologies available. Here’s why ZK-Rollups align perfectly with our vision:

1. Scalability: ZK-Rollups significantly increase transaction throughput by processing multiple transactions off-chain and submitting a single proof on-chain. This scalability is essential for supporting the growing demand for decentralized applications (dApps) and Web3 projects on our platform.
2. Privacy: The use of ZKPs ensures that sensitive transaction details remain private while still being validated. This aligns with our commitment to providing a secure and privacy-focused ecosystem for our users.
3. Efficiency: With immediate transaction finality and no need for a dispute period, ZK-Rollups offer a more efficient and user-friendly experience. This is crucial for maintaining high levels of user satisfaction and engagement.
4. Future-Proofing: As the blockchain ecosystem continues to evolve, the need for advanced scaling solutions will only grow. By integrating ZK-Rollups, Prom is future-proofing its platform, ensuring we can meet the demands of tomorrow’s blockchain applications.

The Road Ahead

Prom’s integration of ZK-Rollups marks a significant step towards enhancing our platform’s capabilities. This technology will enable us to provide a more scalable, secure, and privacy-focused environment for our users. As we continue to innovate and expand our ecosystem, ZK-Rollups will play a crucial role in maintaining our competitive edge and delivering unparalleled value to our community.
In conclusion, ZK-Rollups represent a transformative advancement in blockchain technology. By embracing this cutting-edge solution, Prom is not only meeting the current demands of the blockchain ecosystem but also paving the way for a more efficient, secure, and decentralized future. Stay tuned as we continue to push the boundaries of what’s possible in the world of blockchain and decentralized applications.

I have moved from my small home town to a city and left my partner and my dog whom I really love. We have been together for 3 years. (I’m 22 he is 27) I’m now living with my brother and his missus in Sydney. They kindly let me live in their spare bedroom. I wanted to leave my home town because I wanted to be closer with family (my family lives here except for my dad) as well as seeing what it is like to live away from my home town, I got kind of sick of living in my home town and just wanted to spread my wings a little. I just had this itch to do so. Just needed a change. Maybe try and find myself a career or a job that’s not cleaning. I felt like it would be good for my self confidence. I was unemployed for the first month but then finally got a job as a Dental Assistant trainee. I’ve only been working since middle of March. It is a 45 min drive to and from work and I’m only getting paid $23/hr 3-4 days a week. It’s actually such a shit job tbh with you. I’m really struggling with it all financially, I just got my car serviced and there’s like 10 things wrong with it and if I get it fixed I will be paying more than what it’s worth. On top of that I feel so stressed more than ever living here in sydney. The more I live here the more I hate it. I’m depressed as well. I don’t know what I want to do as a career, I am lost. I have no direction in life or passion for anything. People my age have already completed their uni degree and are making 6 figures. Thinking about moving back in with my boyfriend in my home town but don’t know what that will bring me for my future. He reckons we will put our money together and buy a house? How is that even possible when houses are $1M. I don’t have any skills other than cleaning and working in a fish and chip shop. I’m so hopeless. How would I be able to support him financially as well if I can’t support myself? My family is against me moving back there because they see no future for m in the small town and with that guy. Let’s be honest when I was having fights with him I would go to my sister or brother to vent. And it’s probably made him look like a bad guy. He’s a good guy. Because I vented to them about him, they may be biased if I asked for dating advice. I feel this tug of war between my family and my boyfriend. But I feel like if I would be moving back, it would be out of guilt and a “give up” on myself. He s probably going to be like I told you it wouldn’t work out and you didn’t listen to me. Another huge hit to the self esteem. I have experience childhood trauma with a broken family and it’s like I’m reliving it because I’m torn between people and places. I remember when i was a kid I would feel guilty being with one parent and vice versa. I feel so shit about myself and like a complete failure. I just don’t know what to do. People say that people end up like their parents and my boyfriends dad is very narcissistic and he literally tells you that he is better than everyone and smartest. He’s pretty cluey though. Also a womaniser. I do see a lot of his dad in my boyfriend. My gut is telling me that he’s not the right person to marry. But living here in sydney is giving me so much stress. Maybe I cut ties with everyone and move to another city? But I feel like no matter where I go my depression will follow me. I have no friends or unbiased family to ask advice. Bf is putting a timer on and saying he’s not going to wait for me and just stick around for me to fall back on if things don't work out. that is how he said his feeling. i feel like a terrible partner for making him feel this way. i would be letting down my siblings and family if i go back to my home town and live with him. what is the right thing to do? I have no clue. I’m literally sitting here in my room like a red hot mess.. people would probably think I’m on crack, haven’t slept.

Forgive me if this question should be asked elsewhere but I could really use some advice.
I’ve been a journalist full time at the same company in Huntsville, Alabama for the last 3 years. I started out at my university newspaper in 2013 before graduating and moving to New Orleans where I wasn’t able to book work consistently enough to truly say, “I’ve been a journalist for the past decade.” There was a 1-2 year period where I thought I didn’t have what it took.
My current situation has been very satisfying from the beginning. My boss owns a magazine and a business journal focused on Huntsville and the surrounding area. Most of the assignments have been limited in the amount of exposure you could ever expect as with most other community based journalism but Huntsville is also home to NASA and Redstone Arsenal. It requires more effort a long with putting yourself out there much more consistently, but any determined journalist can find stories locally that will generate readers far beyond the city and state lines.
In August of 2023, I had an instance where my luck and determination peaked at the same time when I was able to track down the son of a former Chinese immigrant turned Huntsville scientist, Dr. Ning Li. She wasn’t famous, not even among most Huntsville residents, but in the early 2000’s she had a run of published papers that made her extremely well known in the science community and even resulted in publications like Wired running multi page spreads about her work on anti gravity technology. I’m going to be REALLY short here but she seemingly disappeared after leaving UAH to start her own company for her research in 2002. Records show initial funding from DoD but the paper trail ends there and she never had a public appearance again.
Eventually this “disappearance” was noticed and some reporters were asking about her publicly at the time, but no sure fire answers ever came. This, along with some public rumors of her defecting back to China with US secrets, eventually resulted in a large community of people who were still asking for answers 20 years later in the form of YouTube videos (Barely Sociable had a big one with 2+ million views) or various science / conspiracy based websites. It only grew as more people started making claims that a lot of the UAP reports being publicized described technology that seemed to resemble her initial theory that gained promise.
I was able to track down her adult son’s phone number. After a series of phone calls over the next month, I gained his trust and was invited to his home where he was able to give me all of the answers except ones about the success of her research on her top secret work funded by the DoD. He didn’t know if she was ever proven right or wrong because she worked at the Arsenal every day until the day she was struck by a car driven by a student on UAH campus. She suffered a TBI that immediately rendered her as if she had late stage Alzheimer’s. Never spoke again and he cared for her around the clock until she died 6 years later.
He was unable to learn anything further about her work, but he gave me a lot of information that wasn’t known at the time and I was able to fully disprove any rumor of her turning traitor to the US for a return to China.
I published the story and it did really well in mid-late 2023 amongst the crowd who already knew of her obviously and the regular Huntsville readers of ours found her life story very interesting. It was immediately the most successful story of my career as other reporters were making stories about the fact that I was able to solve her mystery. It died down like I figured until 4-6 weeks ago.
The UAP disclosure hype has resulted in more people talking about her than ever before. I’m hearing my name and seeing my picture on videos with over 1 million views for the first time ever.
I was very happy but didn’t think it changed much for me because it’s not like it could grow more realistically. Until Joe fucking Rogan reads pretty much the whole story and talks about it for 5-10 minutes on the podcast with largest following in the world.
My excitement turned to disbelief that day and it’s still crazy to think about sometimes. I never realistically thought I would write something that would generate traffic numbers around 5-6 million readers on a single story. That number is over course of 8 months which is very far removed getting those same numbers in the span of a week but the increase in exposure has been noticeable in my inbox ever since the Rogan podcast.
Noticeable enough that it feels like I’m very possibly having a moment before it’s just a moment before THE moment if that makes sense.
I haven’t had any career advancing job offers but there’s been some who have reached out in support to suggest various story topics that run parallel to that story as follow up ideas. Maybe I’m overestimating here but I feel like if I capitalize on my recent success correctly, I could see my career advance a step farther than I thought was possible for the year of 2024 when it started.
But…. I’m not at all sure how of the specific road map that could achieve such a thing. Yeah, I proved I can put together a story that results in traffic from both readers and “cultural trendsetters” but only once.
If anyone has ever been in a similar position, I would love some advice on the best way to turn this exposure into interest from publishers 1 step up the totem pole from where I am now. That also applies to people who haven’t been in this position, the more feedback I can get, the more prepared I feel I can be.
Sorry this post has been so long, it’s just been heavy on my mind for the last 1-2 weeks and I needed to hear from people who are both A: familiar with the industry and B: Not my boss.

My (40m) girlfriend (44f) is currently going through a tough time. She has had a semi-feral cat for 13 years. Cat lives in doors but tolerates humans, but no physical contact.
We found out about a month ago during a teeth cleaning that this cat has a rare cancer in her jaw. We have done all we can to help the kitty but she is getting worse and worse. It’s probably close to time to out her down.
My girlfriend isn’t handling this well at all. She has only had like three pets her whole life and hasn’t experienced losing them often. She is completely a wreck and has all but shut down. Hasn’t gone to work in three days and just sits on the couch in sadness. I have tried to comfort her but nothing is working. She’s not eating much of anything either. I don’t know what to do to help support her during this time. Comfort isn’t working. Doing things for her isn’t working. Leaving her alone isn’t working. Please help with so advice.

Hi everyone! First time mom here to a 6 week old! Time flies. My husband and I feel like we’re somewhat out of the initial fog (hopefully not jinxing myself - I know there will be more fog haha) and I really miss cooking dinners! In the beginning we had a ton of support with people bringing us food or delivery, but now I want to get back to cooking dinners and enjoying that time. I’m EBF with my husband also giving bottles so I can’t spend a ton of time with dinner like I used to, but I was hoping for any suggestions from parents on easy meals with easy clean up that are healthy or any meal prep they’ve found helpful etc. just anything in general with lunch and dinner that you’ve loved. Thank you so much in advance!

I had watched this movie once when it came out, then again just the other day with a friend. And we were discussing the ending, pitching to each other what we thought about meant. As it show's 3 similar scenes with different outcomes, the middle outcome being him committing suicide.
At first I looked at it as a passage of time montage, so my take that he continued to life his life normally for a while, then decided he couldn't do it any longer, and finally we get a glimpse of his version of the afterlife. Which I don't think is necessarily the worst interpretation. But with the last image of the movie being Petra smiling in a white background, it didn't feel as a particularly satisfying interpretation.
So then I finally decided to give up and search for what other people thought coming to this fantastic analysis by The Love Pirate, in which he or her or they? say this " She gives him a final kiss and leaves, and we see three possible endings for Zimit, each beginning with him walking down the hall to his office and taking a seat at his desk. First, he simply opens his lunch and eats a sandwich, going on with his life as normal. In the second one he pulls a gun out his drawer and we hear a gunshot, the assumption being that he ended his life rather than go on without Petra. In the third, he sits at his desk and has a vision of Petra smiling, symbolizing that he might have learned something from her in this final class and is following her example."
That last sentence stuck in my mind, and I began to think "what if it's deeper than that?" I started thinking about how there were 3 doomsday scenarios, and 3 endings for Zimmit. And was trying to figure out if there was a parallels for each of the endings and each iteration of the thought experiments. And this is what I came up with when re-examining the final scenes of the movie based on the inspiration of The Love Pirate.
After Petra give Mr. Zimmit her goodbye kiss , both of them relax on opposite sides of a wall. Petra staring ahead, while Mr. Zimmit leans his head into the wall, as if he does still love her and explains the etymology of the word Apocalypse. "To uncover what you couldn't see before, a way out of the Dark."
The entire movie so far has been Mr. Zimmit trying to convince Petra time and time again using logic that James isn't the best decision for her to make as a life choice. He acts over attached, and petty about being broken up with, and has been hyperfocused on getting her to see things from his perspective.
When Mr Zimmit is explaining it,he's humbly and sheepishly apologizing for his behavior, but also thanking Petra for helping him out of his selfish mindset. He didn't stop to think about living life from anyone else's philosophy other than his own that was ruled by cold hard logic.
To which Petra replies, "Your sweet talk still needs work." A playful jab, but it's clear she doesn't hate him or demonize him for what he had done that day. In a way she's even saying with a little work, he'd still get be capable of being happy in life even if it's not with her. It's a student becomes the teacher moment when he replies. "I'll work on that."
In that last line Petra reassures him that he's a very good teacher. She had learned a lot from him and is grateful for the experience despite the lows, she still values him greatly.
At this point, what I think is happening, Erik Nimmit on the spot starts running himself thru the three scenarios using Petra's philosphy, a basic test of empathic thinking.
He walks up the stairs , sits in his office and takes a bite out of his sandwich, but he's thinking about the conflict that drove them apart in the first thought experiment. Petra couldn't trust him. From her perspective he executed everyone who didn't make the cut for the bunker with no witnesses. He identified as a wild card, and even though Petra was using the emotion of fear to make that decision, It was still a logical decision to make.
Him eating the sandwhich is him envisioning himself the outcome of being an untrustworthy partner. Alone in his office living life day to do without someone. The consequence of who he is inside.
He walks up the stairs, this time retrieving a handgun from his drawer and ending his life. The parallel to what he had done in the second iteration would be the likely outcome of if Zimmit used that same brutal logic in real life. If his logic would compel him to force people to have multiple partners , sleep with someone who wasn't all that keen on them to sleep with him, or force gay people to sleep with people they weren't attracted too. His logic would make him so ugly even to himself that he'd end his life.
Finally Mr Zimmit walks up the stairs, and closes his eyes. Remembering Petra. I no longer thing that this was some after life vision. But him thinking about her being happy in her future life. The white backround doesn't seem ethereal... it seems cold, and she's wearing a sweater.
In the third scenario Petra fully takes over the thought experiment, She says, In my apocolypse no life is more valuable than another. Logic alone can not make your life more meaningful, contrasting to one of the the first statements Mr. Zimmit makes in the movie. That most people are nutters by the age of 40. He had spent the entire movie looking down on people with a lower intellect, or different sexualities, or their life circumstances or situations, In a way to make himself more attractive to Petra. And finally he realized how ugly it made him, and Petra was the one who taught him that. Now he could finally move on, and be happy for her future even if he wouldn't be in it.
But I'd love to hear from any other fans of this movie , do you think i'm onto something here?

While I haven’t heard anything from my higher ups, I saw on workplace that salons are being told that there will no longer be set schedules for groomers, and that groomers are supposed to share dogs now. Basically, these are Petco’s dogs, you have no more request clients, just come in on whatever day you’re told & do whatever dogs are on your books. Anyone else heard this? This just sounds insane to me considering how many years me & others have spent building our loyal clientele. I am unsure how that would even work considering we pre book dogs 2 to 3 months in advance. This is clientele I’ve built a relationship with, bonds with their dogs, and have adjusted my life around. I can reach the required numbers for PSP because of my clientele. I really don’t understand where this is coming from but I am concerned!

This year has been a rough year. A lot of things has happened, and I think every day is more intense in comparative of yesterday.
I'm in my 4th year of school, I really like the career I am studying, but it is so exhaustive. It is a humanist career, so I have to read a lot, like for the next next week I have an oral interrogation where I need to read 2 books with 400 pages each one, and that's just 1 subject. I am assistant in a subject and the rest of the assistant (2 other people, I'm mad with one of them because last year didn't help me with anything and I collapsed because of that) aren't very helpful, or they make some comments that hurt my feelings. Because of this and other situations, I am not comfortable when I'm in class and I get drained easily. Sometimes I'm daydreaming about changing career and study arts, because I always wanted to be an artist, but I don't have time to do something, and I am too ashamed to share what I do to my friends.
I am not comfortable in my home, neither. My little brother (4M) is at that moment of his life where his is super hyperactive but, at the same time, he is a little violent ? I don't know. He pushes me, he pinches me, he screams all the time, and he learned to open the door lock of my room, so I have no privacy. I am tired. I do not have the best relationship with my mother since never, and last time we started to talk more about how can we be gentle with my brother. Last week he got diagnosed with autism, so I have been helping and giving advice to my mother because I am autistic too, but I got diagnosed last year (my mother didn't believe me at that time, now she always tries to talk about it to me because I can help her with my brother but, at the same time, she hasn't said it to my other family about it ?? Like she ignores that I am autistic too and ignores all my struggles and that. It is not that I want she to say it to all the world, but when I came out to her, she told all my f* family and it was so weird. My family always tells everything to everyone, so. Yes. Is very weird) and I can help a little with that. My brother is like that because my grandfather (we live in his house since ever) like to scream and insult a lot, he has me fed up, and the father of my brother doesn't help her with him because he is having a parental burnout (is his first child so very understandable). This is a very stressing situation for everyone.
So, the "cherry on top" is that my partner (20M) and I decided to start living together. Yea. We both have similar situations on our respective homes, so we were so tired emotionally about it that we decided to search for a flat. And we luckily found a very good one last Saturday! So we are happy about it. But his family is more supportive than mine: my mom started the law of ice (I don't know if that's expression is valid in English, in resume she is ignoring me) and try to avoid me. But there are some days that she's super worried about it, and she gave me a washing machine and wants to buy me other things and that makes me so uncomfortable because since I was 15 yo I started to worry about myself and my needs (health and educations, my mom doesn't pay my university and nothing related to me) so is strange.
And I am tired because even if I have these good things in my life (a fantastic academic life, a partner that listen to me and is super nice to me and this new home only to us) I feel so sad and so insecure about a lot of things... I don't know if I am making the right decision with this, since I am just moving from home, but I'm still in the same city (I have this and the other year to finish my career, but I'm planing to study a master or still working in research) and sometimes I think that's dumb. And I know that it doesn't and this is going to help me with my mental health, but sometimes is just. I don't know. Everything is so complex.
I just wanted to vent, but if anyone wants to say something or share a similar situation, I am all ears. Or eyes in this case.
Sorry for my english, that's not my native language. And thank you so much for read me and for your time.

People often talk about how AI could pose an existential threat to life on earth. Often cited among these fears are methods such as bioterrorism, where an incredibly sophisticated virus with high levels of contagiousness and lethality could decimated human populations.
Something I have been thinking about a lot is the actual strategies that a misaligned AI or bad human actor would use to cause as much damage as possible.
It seems to me that all of the conventional methods would be ineffective due to the fact that they are conventional.
It is highly likely that by the time we have systems capable of building bioweapons, we will have systems with superhuman medical knowledge, and the ability to perform bio-defence. Such a system could conceivably create something akin to an adaptive vaccine that can defend against bioweapons, or would have the ability to detect new infections nearly instantly and design treatments orders of magnitude faster than current methods.
Why would an extremely intelligent AI system use an attack vector that is widely recognized and has countermeasures in place?
It seems that a much more effective strategy would be to target natural systems that humans rely on to make earth habitable. I’m talking about ecosystems, more specifically climate terrorism or ecoterrorism.
One example of such a strategy would be the targeting of phytoplankton. Phytoplankton are responsible for 95% of the primary energy production in marine ecosystems, and 50% of photosynthetic energy production globally. They are the most vital source of energy for everything that lives in the ocean. They are also responsible for regulating carbon cycles.
If you wanted to cause as much damage as possible, disrupting phytoplankton would be at the top of the list. It would destroy marine ecosystems and throw off nature’s delicate balance, causing catastrophic ripple effects worldwide that would lead to food instability, rapid changes in climate and the collapse of ecosystems worldwide.
Disruption would not be that difficult. Imagine an invasive species of phytoplankton that can outcompete all other species, reproducing at an extreme rate and being incredibly resilient to allow it to live in every aquatic environment. This itself would do incredible damage to worldwide ecosystems, even without maliciously designed biology.
What if this species of phytoplankton produced toxic byproducts that accumulate within its cells? Or perhaps its genetic code harbours a retrovirus that propagates through marine ecosystems and eventually into humans.
This strategy also benefits from reduced discoverability and delays in identifying the problem. By the time scientists figure out what’s going on, it may be too late to stop the chain reaction.
All that to say that there is an infinite number of attack vectors a sufficiently advanced AI could use to cause massive harm. So many options that it is impossible to prepare for them all. So rather than trying to develop responses for things like nuclear risks, mass misinformation and bioterrorism, it’s easier and more effective to focus on alignment as a preventative measure. Just like how it’s easier to prevent a disease than to treat/cure it.

Hey! This post is mainly about roleplaying online, but there are things involving D&D too. I hope it is okay to make a post like this! If anyone wants to use this story for their video, feel free to.
Disclaimer: I talk about self worth a lot, and how I harmed myself mentaly by thinking how worthless I was. Also there is a subtle mention of my self harm past. Just in case someone has problems being confronted with this!
Disclaimer 2: There is a transphobic comment coming from a person, that I don't see as to bad, but some might see as worse than I do. Also there is transphobia towards genderfluid people, so look out for yourself.
Disclaimer 3: This person is NOT transphobic, but they were pretty uninformed and unsensitive. This doesn't make it better, but I clearly want to seperate transphobic statements from being actively hateful towards trans people.
So I was roleplaying ever since 2016, when I was 14 years old. A few years later, I met a guy, which I'll call Chris in the context of this post. Our first time meeting online was tied to some drama. For roleplaying, we made wikis for our characters, and often would use existing characters from games and medias as a design reference. When I used a reference, Chris was really pissed, because he announced that he would use this character a few dqys ago, and I was already writing a character with that as their reference. I knew he planned that, and didn't say anything, thinking it would be better to just speed it up. Dumb decision of me, rough start, but soon we'd get along. It was pretty fun, we were both sorta the memeish people, and he seemed to be a nice guy.
We soon became friends, after I went into an RP break. During that break I needed to sort things out, due to covid and my outing as a trans fem, and a difficult relationship with my parents. I had a bad case of... thoughts and it hurt my self awareness, and self view on my "worth in life", but once that was sorted out, I decided to play again, and went into a older Roleplay, hosted by Chris. There were still some leftovers of lacking self love, though it got eventualy better during roleplay. Soon I realized that Cris and I would argue often about the simplest things. I decided it was not a big deal, and we would get passed these issues, sometimes without resolving it, sometimes with me being able to lay my stubborness away, which I am not proud of. In the cases in which he started the fight, I sometimes felt gaslit into thinking that I was the problem. It hurt my vision of my own worth, and I started to skill evasion, to not talk about certain things, just not to get reminded of how "worthless" I am. Sometimes I told Chris about this issue, and he'd be empathetic, but calmly said I need to work on it. He had a lot of self love, it felt like he couldn't understand my issue, but I don't know anything specific, after all I can't look into someones head. I think he meant well, but it felt unsensitive, and unempathetic at the end.
The roleplay he hosted took place in a big world, with a really awesome lore, not only in terms of world building, but also in terms of characters and species. The big issue I had was, that Chris introduced enemies to me, that he planned to be introduced in the roleplay way later, while he planned more and more main enemies to exist. As far as I know, the first main enemy still is the main enemy, despite being introduced for almost 4 years now. And paired with his situational motivation to roleplay (which is completely fine generaly, but then we'd need a solution for the main enemies), and his and my tendencies to create character after character (I had 63 characters for that roleplay), we never got to progress, and instead thickened our own characters plots.
One situation was pretty odd. When coping with trans discrimination, I often write stories or characters, that faced these problems too. That way I often felt like I could make it out of my strange situations too. I made a character that I was really proud of, gave her a trans fem backstory, that was one of the better one's I have written at that time and made her a badass, etherial bookworm with magic powers. Chris said that her issues with her trans discriminatory parents would be unrealistic, due to the utopic monarchy they'd live in, and because his queen character could change trans peoples bodies if they'd like to, by using magic. It was honestly weird, because I didn't know if he was supportive there, or unsupportive in that moment, but I know that it made me sad, and I stopped making her trans identity imoortant to progress the plot between her and her parents. This was also a character he often talked down, and Chris often stated his dislike towards her. (That was not of transphobic background, he just didn't like her character and I guess her skill set)
I also made a character that could shift from male to female, and the other way around, based on the skills used. It also was a solution for me wanting to use two design references without having to chose one, and dable into non-binary umbrella story writing, and play a genderfluid person, because I never did that before. After researching on those gender identities, I was hyped to try it out. He also stated, that he thought her being female-only would be cooler. My mind told me, that we potentialy would have this conversation more often, so to not get annoyed by him later on, I changed that person into a cis-female, which I think was really sad.
We had a solidified group of 5ish players that often did stuff together on discord. Sometimes some other people would join our discord server and talk. Daily roleplay players were peaking at... idk 10-15 players probably. Chris, me, and Arin (a friend of us, not his real name) often would hangout in the discord, talk about the roleplay and some funny, silly stuff. Memes were made, we made fun of each others characters (consentualy) and talk about nerdy shit often. At one point, we'd make silly tier lists, which I sometimes took to serious, because most of them were just silly stuff and I got offended by those... which I am also not proud of and have apologized for.
The only exception in which things were rather weird, were the power scale tierlists. My characters usualy got ranked into the higher middle spots, but sometimes I felt like Chris would talk some of them down a little. Having some characters be weaker was sometjing I was always open too, sometimes I would make younger and unexperienced characters after all. Even if he didn't talk down on my characters (which is possible too, those tierlists were subjective after all) then he definitely did with others. Other players characters we wouldn't regularly play with, were seen as weaker, which I thought was weird. Knowing all of those characters was impossible, because there were 120ish at the time, but they were still ranked, and the tierlists were publicaly posted in the roleplay chat. Some people got offended by that, which I can understand.
There was some out of rp stuff too, that annoyed me about Chris. Often it was about being the #1 simp of media character X, Y, Z... you name them. It got pretty out of hand, but once I told him directly, that I think that this attitude was annoying, and that he can't look at other people and be like "Yeah, this person doesn't love my waifu as much as I do", and that it was a weird thing to rank ik the first olace, it got quiter in that region.
Sometimes we argued about music, and he tried to come off as more informed as me, a metal/death screamer, and djent guitarist, with music theory as a hobby. And I'm not trying to say he couldn't, but he said some very uninformed stuff, and tried to gatekeep... I guess the subject "Favorite music"? by saying stuff like "People who don't know their favorite songs lyrics obviously don't have that as their favorite". That statement is weird, because as a guitarist, in some songs I pay more attention to the guitars more, than the lyrics. Especially because I have ADHD and often get distracted when trying to listen to song lyrics. We both regularly listened to japanese music too, which we both can't speak nor understand. It'd bring me down into thinking, that I might not be a great musician, or that I was to radical when someone hurts my feelings, or simply says something weird and uninformed. But I showed this to other friends, and they said that I was not. Even Arin often would find the reason for the arguements rediculous, and 9/10 times it was coming from Chris.
Arin would soon start to feel like me and Chris fighting would be nothing unusual, and that was a reality check for me if I ever had one. At some point, I realized when I got into a different discord server, and was being more involved with my real life friends again, that something fell off in the friendship between me and Chris. But at that time, me, Arin and Chris prepared a pirate setting D&D campaigne, which I was extremely excited about. I used to play D&D when I was 15-16 years old, and remembered having fun, so getting back to it was a great thing for me. I made a female babarian, weilding a sword and a axe, with a high roll of 15 strength, and was really happy with her. Her backstory was sorta basic, but it was still tragic and it was good enough for me to enjoy. I roughly remember, it was about her losing her family, and her becoming a mercinary, that would be part of a two people pirate crew now, because she got payed to.
All of this was for nothing though. Me and Chris fought again. The fight was about a word, that I used in a romantic context, him not knowing the word, and after googling the definition, thinking it couldn't be used in that situation. Both of us would get stupidly mad. He said some really hurtful shit, saying that I would weigh my friendships now, and that my new friends would be more important to me now. Me, Chris and some other frienfs had a Gartic Phone session coming up, hosted by me, and we didn't talk before or after that, because I told him that I need distance to sort things out. But sorting things out would mean to finally distance myself from him this time, and thus I ended the friendship.
The D&D campagne dropped, I spent more time with my other friends, and... never got to play D&D ever since. (It's been 2 years now) The same campaigne was DMed by Arin later on, when his girlfriend took my place instead. I can understand Arins decision, and we are not in bad blood, he is still my friend. Yet it felt like a kick in the face, because all my friends would have a campaigne now, and I was left in the dark, noticing people get to play D&D left and right. And his girlfriend told me that she thought Chris was really exhausting to play with too. To be gair though, I never adressed this issue with Arin, because he is constantly DMing for 2 years now, in a group with Chris. I feel like telling him this would make things either worse, and it feels like I'd pushy.
What was worse though, I talked to Chris nearly every day, leaving me with a feeling that something really important was torn away, because I ended the friendship. It felt like I did something stupid again, and I felt worthless again, until I got told otherwise. I tried coming back to that specific roleplay multiple times again, and roleplay with a friend of me and Chris, even trying to be in contact with Chris again. He has definitely changed, but after a few weeks of contact, I decided we couldn't stay in contact, and slowly let the contact slip away from us, without starting any fight. Any attempt for roleplay is ruined for me now, but I think I'd give D&D another try.
I definitely did some stupid shit too, because I got really emotional. But after building a wall between me and Chris, I noticed that a lot of the crap in our friendship was not just coming from me. That I was allowed to love myself too, and that he gaslit me often. I'm not sure if I ever get back to pure roleplay, but after 2 years, I am willing to give D&D another chance, after feeling left out for such a long time now.

Hi, I’m a 15F, and I’m turning 16 during the summer. My dad is part of a “religious practice" in which we do not celebrate pagan holidays like Christmas,Halloween,Easter,New Years, birthdays, and more. When I was younger, we used to celebrate, but we stopped when i was around the age of 9–11. I never had a big problem with it until, like, a year ago. When I was 13, I was jealous of my long distance family members and friends for celebrating fun holidays while i did nothing. Recently, most of my friends turned 16 and had parties. The best sweet 16 I’ve seen was an ex-friend of mine had. She had a massive venue with a beautiful pink dress and crown. Her family and friends were there to support her. She was gifted a car and received so much money. I was extremely proud of her, but I couldn’t help but feel abiT of resentment. I only had the chance to experience the moment on camera because I’m not allowed to go to birthday parties. My second friend had a dinner party with friends and received expensive and thoughtful gifts, but I wasn’t able to go. Now a third friend had a sweet 16, but I wasn’t invited because I’m not close to her, which is understandable. Everyone had pictures and videos of her walking down the venue in a long gown. She looked like Disney Princess Tiana; she was so pretty, and her girlfriend was slow dancing with her. It was so cute, but once again, I couldn’t help but feel jealous. I asked my dad if I could do one, because I remember him saying a long time ago that I would be able to celebrate my 16th birthday. He obviously didn’t remember and said there was no point in throwing a birthday party because in his own words “what’s so important about turning 16 and not 17, 18, 19, and 20?”. He also said it’s disrespectful to God because I’m supposed to celebrate God alone. I don’t believe in God, but he doesn’t know that. I asked instead of throwing a big party if I could just have a birthday dinner with family and look pretty. He didn’t answer my question, but I could sense he’s not so on with it. I don’t believe I’m being unreasonable with my wishes; I’m aware we don’t have much money and a birthday dinner will work fine. My father isn’t a bad person; he’s just gotten really religious over the years. He's gotten less strict recently, but I still don’t want to miss out on my teen years. My birthday is coming up in a month, and I just want a day to celebrate me and my accomplishments in life.

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I (38f) have a longtime friend (43m) who has become a crush. Months ago, he was in a long term relationship with someone who had kept him from his family. His brother recently killed himself and now he’s really beating himself up for not being more present in his brother’s life during that relationship. I am putting my romantic feelings on the back burner and just trying to be a good friend during this particularly difficult time. I also have noticed he’s become fairly withdrawn in general. How do I support him as he mourns the loss of his brother in a way that is not overwhelming, but I don’t want to just abandon him in this hard time. I think he needs both space and support and I’m having trouble figuring out the balance between the two.

Chapter 1: Meeting C and F

About a year ago on May 2023, I was walking home from a long day at uni and just got done a long programming class. On my way back to the station I was approached by 2 girls. 1 chinese girl we’ll call C, and 1 girl from argentina we’ll call F.
Now they wanted to ask questions for their survey, I was happy to answer because I don’t mind helping others out. They eventually talked about my background and religion and we eventually exchanged phone numbers because I thought they were pretty friendly.
I talked to C a lot, I mean a lot. She wanted me to go out with her, I denied a hundred times because I find the city mentally exhausting. I eventually agreed and we went out and ate food. At the time I thought she was extremely friendly. I don’t remember between this time period and when we first done bible study. So i’ll get onto that.

Chapter 2: Meeting S and J

Me and C went out to QV and she was telling me she was meeting her colleague/mentor I didn’t think much of it at the time. We eventually started doing bible study because I was curious about Christianity, my family are heavy Christians so I thought why not learn about it?
We only done 1 bible study per week because I didn’t wanna sacrifice other parts of my life (my actual friends, gym, family, alone time and yes I like to be alone at times). S tried to convince me to start going 2 times a week but I keep declining, I eventually agreed. My mental health at this point was starting to go downhill a tiny bit.
After a few weeks I think, I went out with C to an event that I didn’t really wanna go to, I wake up late so this gave her a massive inconvenience for C (good thing I did that), and we only attended the event at I think it was called ibis hotel.
There I met J, he seemed a bit off to me but nonetheless I greeted him. I didn’t like the vibe this guy gave me. He said him and C known each other from high school.
C told me that S will teach J bible study, keep in mind that our studies are 2 times a week and it’s been like that for 3-4 weeks? S taught J in 1 week and I was very suspicious. I kept that in mind just incase, which actually helped.

Chapter 3: Manipulation

S would convince me to go 3 times a week now and i’m aware that she’s trying to manipulate me now, I could tell and see right through. I kept on declining because I thought what else is she hiding? What if she starts making me go 4 times a week?
When I got home, I gave it some thought, I eventually decided to do 3 times a week, I was extremely skeptical and curious at the same time. Next lesson I said I will go 3 times a week. At around this timeline at October 2023, my mental health wasn’t doing so great. I had to take an 1hr 2min train ride from my area to CBD and back. I told my family that I was doing extra stuff for my uni. They didn’t bat an eye.

Chapter 4: Wonder

This place S told us to go to was hosted at 52 Albert Street, South Melbourne and we had to go there 3 times a week. You could go any day of the week besides Sunday and you could either attend 10:30am - 12:30pm classes or 6:30pm or 8:30pm, being a late sleeper I chose the evenings.
When I first went there S introduced me to her colleague Z. Now Z seemed like a very positive and caring individual. But I didn’t really see it like that tbh. She seemed like someone that manipulated people. And I was spot on. I had to go out with Z once but her vibe was off to me. Keep in mind we haven’t spoken to F since we like met all the way back on May 2023.
As for the classes itself, the atmosphere before classes commenced were like happy reunion places and that it’s all sunshine and rainbows and anybody was welcome. This place felt extremely off to me. After the classes finished we would split off into homerooms, I just left when the classes finished and Z tried to beg me to stay back for homerooms, I kept on declining and Z said it’s like 10-20mins but the homerooms are like another hour, I eventually told her to piss off. For once I stopped eventually agreeing.
I thought to myself “What kind of fucking rabbit hole did I go down? And what are all these people especially my “friends” getting out of this? What’s in it for them? Why are they doing all these teachings about God for free?”
I kept all the past events on mind to see what I would do next. We were discouraged from using tech and I was told to delete photos of the whiteboard, my reason was because I needed to save them for notes, but I now it’s because that they don’t want any of their faces exposed. I do still have a photo of Z on my camera roll. As she took a selfie with me on my phone when we went out.

Chapter 5: Decline of Mental Health

After a month or 2 on these classes, my mental health was down the drain, one of my friends from high school we will name D also attended these classes. Which felt weird as the city has been the most isolating feeling I have come across.
I had a couple catch up sessions with Z even though I most of the classes. Every class I missed Z would call me and set up a catch up session. Anyways I stopped going for like a week because I didn’t wanna go. Z would call me and just be annoying she wouldn’t give me personal time and space and told me I was selfish.
Now because I didn’t wanna deal with Z at all, I ghosted her for a week, she was angry with me. I told C that I didn’t wanna go for like a week and she understood.

Chapter 6: The Final Straw

Now going into my final class my mate D messaged me and found out these classes are SCJ. I was furious but unsurprised at the same time. Keep in mind I was about to quit these bible studies for good like a week before he found out, it was very toxic towards my mental health.
In my last class Z told me to come with her, we had a 1 on 1. It was like I was being interrogated. Keep in mind I had important appointments too that week I was absent. She told me to still try to attend bible study during those days. I told her no. I told her explicitly I can’t cancel appointments I already set up weeks ago. I could tell she was trying to manipulating me.
She even tried to fake cry I can tell straight away, she told me how selfish I was and that Satan is overtaking me, and how the events of Revelations are gonna commence anytime. I didn’t care, it felt like for the first time in this whole ordeal, I was finally ready to speak out my own opinions. I told her no, she tried to convince me, I tell her no. Until class ended and C asked me if I was okay, to which I replied yes.
As for C and J, they were just there to attend classes with me, J still gave me weird vibes but I was cool with C. S wasn’t present and attended classes once in a blue moon. And as for F, yeah well we can forget about her. Everytime I went home they took the tram with me until we parted ways at the train station.
Now I asked C a question I don’t remember related to the bible, she knew the answer instantly and too well. Now I was convinced that S, C, and J (SCJ reference!) have attempted at recruiting me. I decided to eventually never attend these classes again.
When I got home, I messaged S C J and Z that I will never attend bible study again and how toxic it was towards my mental health.
I answered it in the most friendly manner, that I thanked these bible study sessions for opening my eyes up with God and how important it is to stay away from False Prophets (which I found funny because they talked about 1 John 4:1 and they were false prophets themselves, kinda hypocritical isn’t it?) and I was gonna take my own path with God. And it was a safer option for me.

• Z didn’t reply.
• C asked me why I thought it was SCJ, to which I gave her answers and evidence. She wanted to go out with me again with J, but I said no.
• J told me that he was suspicious and he will talk to Z, I told him that Z is highly manipulative and to not be dumb. Haven’t heard from him since. Most likely a member.
• S surprised me, I thought she would berate me for not loving God and following Satan, as she was responsible for all the events happening. She wished me luck on my journey and fully supported my decision. She didn’t like force me to have an opinion, so I thanked her and wished her good luck.

Chapter 7: Epilogue

After a few months of not going city, staying home, and going on my own lane. My mental health has been in top shape and i’m just grateful that I can hang out with my real friends, spend time with my family that I started to miss. Go and work hard at the gym
I caught up with D a few months later, we had a blast, ever since I left SCJ I haven’t been to the city a lot. Maybe once or twice with my mates, I hate the city now thanks to how mentally exhausting it is for me largely thanks to SCJ. I hate the vibe now. I love my home area and I don’t intend that to change. It’s peaceful for me now.
C contacted me a few months ago, she wanted to catch up with me again, I told her i’ll think about it. Didn’t reply back to her as I didn’t wanna encounter anything again that’s related to SCJ.
Now it’s been a whole year since this whole fiasco started, haven’t spoken any of them and my life has continued on as normal, as if nothing happened. I have many friends that I still talk to. I go uni now again but I don’t like going city anymore. So I get in and out asap. I did see C outside my uni like a few weeks ago but I kept my head down and hid from her path till she walked past me, she didn’t see me at all. Oh and i’m doing well mentally now.

Hi everyone! Apologies if this isn’t the right place for this question or topic. First time mom here to a 6 week old! Time flies. My husband and I feel like we’re somewhat out of the initial fog (hopefully not jinxing myself - I know there will be more fog haha) and I really miss cooking dinners! In the beginning we had a ton of support with people bringing us food or delivery, but now I want to get back to cooking dinners and enjoying that time. I’m EBF with my husband also giving bottles so I can’t spend a ton of time with dinner like I used to, but I was hoping for any suggestions from parents on easy meals with easy clean up that are healthy or any meal prep they’ve found helpful etc. just anything in general with lunch and dinner that you’ve loved. Thank you so much in advance!

Hi! My name is Alessio and I’m from Italy. I really want to move to Guangzhou, when I visited the first time I was so impressed by China and by the city. I would like to start completely from scratch, give up everything in Italy and start a new life, I'm tired of my current life. What could I do to look for an entry-level job? I'm 21, I'll be 22 in August, thanks everyone in advance! Any advice is accepted!

This is a vent, too. Please excuse my frustration.
I'm in my 50s now. I've been dealing with trauma, depression and the over-fucking-whelming-anxiety most of my adult life. But the last few weeks takes the urinal cake! My son's wedding is 6 days away. I finally got that anxiety under control and then this...
Backstory: I have something called Neurogenic Bladder. Basically, since age 33, my bladder took on a mind of its own and doesn't empty well. So I have to use a catheter a few times a day, to avoid urine backing up and stepping on kidneys lawn. My kidneys get suuuuper angry when this happens and well... a big ol fight ensues, kidneys start throwing stones, urine calls up their buddies, bacteria... the police are called, and the insides of my urogenital tract look like a crime scene.
About a month ago, I had some hip/pelvic pain. My doctor was out so I saw MD 1. MD 1 spent 2 minutes with me, ordered an x-ray, and said "Pelvic pain doesn't point to a UTI, but you do have some remodeling, were you ever injured?" As he's staring at my chart. I said, "Yes, during the birth of my last baby, it's in my chart. Can you run a urine screen, to make sure I'm not getting a UTI?" MD 1, "Nah, it's probably just some arthritis, pulled muscle or something.Try to keep your anxiety in check."
One week later... Flank pain is worse, urine is cloudy, but okay. I see my chiropractor. He can't find any reason for the pain, tries acupuncture and stretches.
Last week, I was running a 100.4 - 101.6 (F) temp, my urine was looking like kool-aid, and the flank pain was so pad I couldn't sleep! My doctor was out again. So, I saw MD 2. MD 2 agreed with MD 1. My temp was only 100.4 when i was there - "Not a real temperature, but could be something viral. I'll put in an order for PT for the "back" pain." I said - in tears - "I know something is wrong, a simple UTI can turn into a kidney infection very quickly.." sob, sob, "and my son is getting married next week, I can't feel this shitty for his wedding!" MD 2, "Well, that's probably what's going on then. You're anxious about the wedding is all. Just try to work on your anxiety... focus on enjoying the wedding.."
This week, I started passing blood clots and my temp has been 101.4 - 102.8. On Friday, I was scheduled for my neurologist's 12wk standing lab orders. When I was at the lab, I asked to leave a urine and if they could get an order from my regular doctor later. Thank God I did! I have a bad infection. My kidney function (gfr) also dropped to 60.2 from 90. It cultured to match the same antibiotic, so I'm praying it works soon.
My fever still hasn't broken and I don't feel any better yet. My doctor said that by Monday evening, if no improvement, then she's considering more supportive measures.
We leave 9am on Friday for my son's wedding rehearsal and groom's dinner. It's 4 hours by car. I have to feel better.
Those doctors who were covering for my doctor just wanted to blame it all on my anxiety.
Well, they have succeeded, now my anxiety is a problem!
Thanks for letting me vent this out.

Hi- need serious advice. I know this is a novel, I’m so sorry but I would appreciate anyone who reads it. I’m a 20 yr old F and I live with my brother, 19 M, and my two parents. My parents are abusive. There is no way to get around it. Physically when I was young and mentally now. I can’t describe what they put me through now- it’s awful. I promised myself all throughout high school I would leave the moment I turned 18 but something kind of switched and they became more tolerable, almost nicer, so like a fucking idiot I stayed. I started my bachelors, started working and tried to convince myself it was alright. The other reason I stayed was for my brother. I’ve taken care of him my whole life. I didn’t have any other choice, and I didn’t think I wanted one. It was my duty to take care of him and I did my job as best as I could only being 11 months older. I have gotten in the middle of fights, taken beatings, punishments, paid for him, drove him, etc. Time and money I didn’t have to spare spent on him with no repayment, and I’m talking about he wanted a new $60 game so I asked him to help me while I cleaned my room (vacuuming, taking down dirty clothes, wiping down my fan). This has been going on for years. I was the one to complete his college essay, to call his advisors to get his transcripts, to do his homework, otherwise my ass was on the line with my parents. I have done everything I could for him. Plus, he didn’t even get into college because I told him he had to complete his 200 word prompt for his college application, leading him not to get accepted because he didn’t fucking do it. He’s in his first year while I’m almost in my fourth. I have had jobs for the last 3 years in my field while he has done nothing. I begged my parents for a car and drivers license for 2 1/2 years while he, at 19, only got his 4 months ago. He does the bare minimum. Less than that, actually. The night before fall semester started he got into a fight with my father, physically, left the house, and made me go looking for him and try to convince him to go back home until 5am. To say my semester was fucked after that is an understatement. It’s constant but I stay because I’m his sister. It’s my job. It’s also a cultural thing I guess. I know I’m venting but I’m getting to the point I promise. A month ago I asked him to help me clean my room so that I could study since he has a habit of fucking his room up, coming and staying in my room, taking up my bed, and asking me to buy him food. I had just returned from the library, brought him Taco Bell, and wanted to clean a bit before continuing to study for my final the next day. To be clear, if I didn’t pass this class I wouldn’t be on track to graduate or get into my optometry program. He said he didn’t want to help and bitched and moaned but when I pointed out that I had gone out of my way to get Taco Bell for him he agreed to aid. I asked him to just bring up some cleaning stuff and take down my clothes so I could have them clean for work and he left. After an hour or so of waiting for him (yes I was procrastinating and purposely didn’t ask why he was taking so long) I heard him come upstairs with a plate full of sandwiches and go into his room. I was pissed. I started to text him, angrily and cursing I’ll admit, about him not doing shit and being so annoying. I called him a bum for never following on his promises or doing absolutely fucking anything. He started texting in all caps not to call him that otherwise he swore to god I would regret it, and I, being the person that I am (a fucking idiot) called him it again. He rushed out of his room, kicked open my door and threw his phone at me as hard as he could and left me with a bruise. He started standing over me, threatening me, saying shit like he was going to throw me done the stairs, snap my neck, etc. I’ve seen him get that way before- he smashes shit to pieces, breaks anything in his sight, and generally destroys things. For some context he’s a big guy, almost 300lb and used to be able to deadlift 500+lb. I got scared, saw a knife on my counter from dishes I had yet to clean, and pulled it on him. He slowly backed off and went to his room, before I, again, a fucking idiot, called him a bum again. A stupid decision, I know, I would definitely be the bitch that got knifed in a movie and you’d cheer for her death. This time I closed the door before he could come in, he tried to break down the door while I was on the other side, and in response he smashed something made of glass on the other side and punched a hole in my door. I contacted my dad who was far away and he sent my mother home. My mother and I haven’t spoken to each other in a few months since she called me a burden for asking her to help me get my work clothes ready for the week. She came in, spoke to my brother I guess, then came in and spoke to me. She said it was unbelievable and she didn’t know what to say and when I explained what happened and then told me to study for my test. She also went back to talk to him and came back to talk with me, asking me if I pulled a knife on him, which I admitted to, only because I was seriously afraid of him pushing me down the stairs or knocking me out. After that I locked the door and when texting my parents about the situation they only told me not to worry about it, just study. I couldn’t, and I swear to god I tried, all night. I was scared and I think in shock. I got to the lecture hall early and tried to study there but that didn’t help either. I had done alright in the class, done very well in the lab, but knew I bombed the final. I went home and didn’t speak to anyone at home for days. After about 3 days I went downstairs and saw my dad who tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal. I explained how insane and irrational the entire situation was and how I wanted to move out. I couldn’t handle dealing with all of their shit, and if I was the problem like they said I was then I would be fixing that too. I have a very important board exam this summer that I also have to take to get into optometry school and I proposed that I would live on campus, only for the summer. He refused, angrily saying that it wasn’t me place to move out, that he would never support me, and that if that’s what I wanted to do I could get the fuck out right now. A few things- I pay partially for my school. I don’t make much but I put a lot of what I do have toward school and the rest towards little things for me and my brother. Secondly, almost every single thing within my bedroom I have paid for. Excluding the mattress, furniture, and my phone, I have paid for everything I need or want through hard work. Thirdly, both my parents are currently unemployed but wealthy. Wealthy enough that they can go on vacations, pay for four cars, go out with their friends, and pay for their son’s tuition with no hassle. It’s only mine that poses a problem, which is the reason they let me work. They attempt to dictate how I should spend my money constantly. The argument went on for an hour, him accusing me of failing because I chose to, him proposing that he get a lock for my door, telling me I could move into the basement, etc. When my father refused to budge I went upstairs, used a loc that I had bought for when your staying at a hotel to barricade the door and have not spoken to him since. It has been a month now and I have not spoke to anyone in person, though my mother has been trying to guilt me into making me give up my refrigerator in my room by telling me my grandfather is in hospice, there will be a funeral soon, and me having that fridge is making me too fat to be presentable, as well as trying to be nice and hugging me when I have to leave for work in the morning. Now, with all of that context, here’s what’s going on. Since the entire incident happened I have been trying to figure out a way to leave. I have looked into campus housing but it’s an additional $7000 per semester that I don’t think I can afford even if I take out student loans and do FAFSA. I’m scared of the position. It’ll put me in when it comes to going to school. I do have another choice though. I recently toured an apartment complex that is beautiful it’s my dream place and the rent is less than $1500 a month. The only problem is that I only currently make being part time 12 to 1300 a month I just got a raise to $18 an hour but even then that’s not gonna be enough to cover it if I’m going to school at the same time, I’ve looked into some options and FAFSA and loans wouldn’t be able to cover any of my housing outside of living on campus. The only problem with living on campus is I can’t make the morning drive less than an hour and a half to work and I’m afraid with how it all affect my schedule and will to study. I was honestly giving up the idea of moving out at all because it seems so impractical and there was no way that I could actually leave and take my stuff with me without a fight. However, I recently learned that my parents tomorrow are leaving on a five day vacation to Vegas with Little to no thought of how that affects me and the position that I’m in with my brother, if I can figure out a way to somehow be able to afford the rent for this place afford a car to get to work because we have really bad public transportation in my area then I think I would just drop out of school and go. I love optometry more than anything and that’s why I was willing to deal with all of this but maybe school just isn’t in the cards for me. I don’t want to give it up but I don’t think that I’ll make it out of here alive, in all honesty. I can’t keep up with everything it’s ruining my life and I’m only 20 years old. But it’s so scary that I don’t know if I can even take the steps to moving out. I just paid tuition for the spring summer semester and have only $500 to my name. I would need to take out a loan to be able to put down the down payment for the car and the apartment and what if I don’t get approved? What if my work doesn’t give me full-time? what am I gonna do then? I don’t have anybody in my life that could help me. I also have a big family that would all be on their side and agree with them and what if I leave and they come back and cause a scene that causes me to lose my job? They would 100% do that. I know for some people it’s a no brainer but put yourself in my shoes. I have no money, family, friends, or support. At least here I have car and my room and sometimes they’re tolerable. I would only have to do it for 1-2(?) more years. On the other hand, this place is destroying me. I hate who I am becoming because of it. Would it be worth giving up my future for getting my dreams or moving out? If you read all of this you’re amazing, thank you so much. I can only stare at a pros and cons list for so long 🙃

My wife has a couple sticknpoke tattoos and is interested in learning how to do it. I want to support her interests and get her some supplies for her birthday. I’ve gathered that starter kits aren’t the best quality, but I also don’t want to get the echelon of materials in case this doesn’t stick (no pun intended).
What would you recommend for a beginner:
-Needle(s) -ink -practice skin(?) -printer -anything else I’m missing?
Thanks so much in advance!