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Hi folks, I need to figure out how much I need to be saving in order to retire, and where I should retire.
Me, 48 yo, single, no kids, no pets, have a chronic illness that creates periods of income instability. Live in a high state income tax, high cost of living city in the US.
Own my apartment with a mortgage. Details below.
Pre tax income: $160k per year 401k contribution: maxed $23k annually, no company match offered. Monthly after tax income (after 401k and health insurance): $7k
Housing expense: $2400 monthly mortgage, electric and maintenance fees combined. In 20 years my mortgage will be paid off but my apartment maintenance fees steadily rise so my projected housing cost in 20 years will be at least $2400 and rising.
Post tax savings: $2000 month All other Spending: $2600 month
Assets: Home equity $400k (will lose 15% of this for various fees upon sale) All savings: Retirement accts, brokerage, bonds, cash $340k. This includes 10 month emergency fund.
Liabilities: $240k mortgage at 3.125% apr on a 30yr mtg with 20 years left. No student loans, car or credit card debt
Insurances: disability through employer. Projected social security in retirement: perhaps $1900 mo according to ssa calculator
Wondering if I should buy additional disability on the market, or long term care insurance. Should I get a 2nd job to save more while I can work? Also how much will it cost monthly to retire in a lower cost of living city? Right now I don't have a car expense but figure I will if i move to a cheaper city.
Thanks

I am not sure if I ever shared with anyone what happened to me to cause my disability. It was a huge event that happened that has greatly effect my entire life forever. I had a tubal litigation done in 2012 during that surgery my bowls were nicked. I was over sedated for that opporation they sedated me at 9am but never even started my surgery until around 1pm that day. While in recovery after the first surgery I came to for a split second around 5pm. The nurse was waiting on me to be able to go home that day. I was her last patient so she was being impatient according to people who were there with me that day. I remember waking up for split second I said somethings wrong and I passed back out. So she then had my ex boyfriend and friends load me into the wheel chair to go home not even full awake yet. Just so she could get off work and go home. Well I am at home a day goes by and I'm getting more sick. I feel like shit! But, I didn't want to return to the hospital and them accuse me of trying to get opioids. Hospitals assume things withoutĺ knowing all the facts and lable people. I learned if your sick you just deal with it otherwise they treat you like shit. So I didn't want to go to the hospital and there be nothing wrong and they think im medication seeking. So I was hesitant to return to the hospital. But when i finally did I was almost dead. I kept going in and out if consciousness. Keep in mind the prescription they had written me for the surgery was for perk 5mg 30 of them. I hadn't taken any of them. They were at my house when I returned to the hospital completely untouched. Well im almost dead because I'm septic. I kept going in and out of consciousness, So the doctor assumed I had over dosed. Even though I was screaming at him not to administrator narocan he did it anyway. It is illegal in Washington State to administer narocan to someone who is unwilling to sign for it or who is unconscious and unable to sign for it. I was screaming at him not to give it to me. Because I was an opioid addict at that time. But again hadn't taken any of them not even 1. Even at my deepest addiction I've never over done it with anything I wasn't a hard-core addict. I've never over dosed and never will. So the doctor shoots me full of narocan it went from bad to worse right then. I was dying already the pain was bad. But now I'm now in full 100% detox all at once. It was the worst pain ever at least till that point in my life. Well a few minutes later the lab reports come back and I'm septic. So their now panicking and they choose to send me from a very large hospital to an even bigger one for exploratory surgery. The doctor asks if I want to be put to sleep since he knows I wasn't faking it tryjng to get medication that I'm actually dying. It was fucked up by giving me a drug I refused with out my consent and he should feel like an asshole. I said no but he and my boyfriend at that time talk me into it. Worst mistake of my life why because after receiving narocan you can't be put to sleep. It don't work because it's an opioid blocker. Part of the cocktail they give is an opioid. Put I am paralyzed completely and can feel everything so they put a respiratory in my lungs my eyelids are taped shut and I'm in so much pain. The next 20 minutes where the very worst because it took me about 20 minutes of panicking thinking I was suffocating to death because you feel like you can't breath it hurts having a ventilator breath for you it's not comfortable at all it feels like your lungs on fire and your suffocating to death. Like you can't get any oxygen so it took me about 20 minutes to realize I'm still alive. So obviously I'm breathing some how and to relax. But then it just got worse because I'm being prepped for surgery and no one knows im not asleep. And that I can feel absolutely everything 100% but I can't move at all or talk because of the machine and my eyelids are taped shut. So there is zero ways to communicate this to anyone hello im awake and shouldn't be. I went through about estimated 8 hours that I know of being cut open fully awake you go in and out of consciousness a bit but I could feel every bit of it and I can tell exactly what those doctors talked about during that surgery and could still recognize their voice if I heard them again. When they finally realized I was awake they fully sedated me and put me into an induced coma for a couple weeks. Time was fuzzy then. When I finally woke up I had a whole in my stomach that took 5 and a half years to fully heal its never fully healed ever though because I have massive scar tissue which frequently gets infected easily so I suffer from reoccurring staph infects but the original hole was about 24cm x 16cmx 8cm deep that's a huge hole and it had to be left completely open for years to heal up. After I getting out of the hospital months later had to return to another hospital twice a day everyday for 9 months to have my wound packed and cleaned. I am always in pain it never goes away along with my bowel problems have never ended. I also have bladder problems and lack of control over them since that surgery. I was in disneyworld last summer and had an accident let me tell you it's no fun. I've been denied being able to use a bathroom at winco last summer which resulted in me peeing my pants. Every time I eat something no matter what it is I have an automatic stomach ache sometimes for a just few minutes sometime hours sometimes all day or night. It just depends and it sucks so finding an employer who I can work for and have a reasonable accommodation is hard to find when any moment I could shit myself and have to leave right then. On top of it being completely humiliating on top of everything else there is the embarassing factor. So when rumors of my disability started spreading at work there were only a couple people who should have known about it but everyone did all of a sudden. So I never got anything not a dime for that surgery I tried to have a lawyer help me but I had signed a thing stating I understood my bowels could suffer problems before they did the surgery it state I understood the risks. So when I received a reply back from the attorney stating I didn't have a case he felt I got bummed out and kind of gave up well recently I went through the paperwork he sent me back right the paperwork that was to determine if I had a case or not he didn't even have the right paperwork at all. He mailed me half if someone else's and half was from a surgery I had years before that one. Since the statue of limitations is up I got nothing for any if that. I was cut off ssi in 2015 I filed what I thought was an appeal at that time but it wasn't they restarted my entire case in 2019 so for those years I had no income I found myself wrapped up in sex trade it was decent money and u could work from home and I wasn't about to be homeless and starve. While social security decided if I was disabled or not. So from 2017 to 2021 that's what I did. I posted on one site called mega personals eu. 1 time next thing I knew some how that ad ended up all over the internet on mass escort sites all sorts of place. Without my permission. Well I had an ex boyfriend who if he needed money and I wouldn't give it that he would put a bullshit review online under those ads I couldn't remove because they are not my ads. They are my photos sometimes they were. My ad and phone number sometimes they are not people started using my 5 star reputation for being a real person not a scammer and great at what I did so they started using my photos and reputation to do scams and crimes. Well in the mean time my ex when he wouldnt get what he wanted out of me would post mean horrible lying reviews all over the internet 1 said I work for the cops robbed him while he was getting his massage because I did erotic massage my pants stayed on I wasn't a full service prostitute ever. I actually did the Massage work. And he claimed in this review that I had people rob him while he was there and gave him shingles all in an hour lol.. it made no since but no one ever pays attention to what doesn't make since they just read the bad and that's it so then a couple months later he put another bad review but under a different name. Because that profile the site suspended his first once I pointed out how it didn't make since did i rob him or work for the cops. And that I have mass good revenues by real people. But they never removed it so he made another under another user name well the discovered it had the same ip address as the last poster so I pointed out if I had done that to him why would he come back for another one. They again suspended it but never removed them then a couple days later I paid him to remove the lies he put up but he couldn't remove them they are permanently the sites keep them or let actually correct that not all browsers do google does so because I paid him he wrote he had the wrong girl. But again the sites and google refuse to remove them. So Google has facilitated my being extorted for years. I have a very big history with google I've even supplied information that helped assist the attorney general of Washington state information to help suit them. There are more instances but I'm going to stay on topic. So when I was hired at home depot it was suppose to be a fresh state a new me well while working there I started receiving texts messages the first one asked me if I was taking new clients for massage I ignored it. Then the next one came through stating Carrie I work with you at the home depot im upper management and can help you with your position or anything else you might need schedule what ever. I straight thought it was a set up or someone fucking with me. So I bantered back and forth but right off tbe bat I stated that I didn't need help with my position I had my stuff covered on my own. Well after a few weeks of chatting I said fine if your real come over at this point I don't know who he is I assumed if its real I guessed who it might be messaging me but was pretty positive but still not sure. So who shows up to my house my hr manager Shawn I do not know his last name then or still. That shows I wasn't out to set anyone up im not that chick. I have bigger fish over the years I could fry if that was my objective believe that. All I wanted to do was work so like I was saying. I was receiving texts that were strange the first one said are you still taking never clients for massage. The second message about a day or so later said. Carrie I work with you at home depot. I can help you with your schedule or position. I am upper management and have the power to help you with whatever you need work wise. I'm just a horny dude I've got a lot to lose. Guess who I am and stuff like that. I straight thought it was a set up or someone messing with me. So we banter back and forth for several weeks. Then I figure let's see if this is for real. So I invite him over I still have no idea who it is but I figure if I'm right I have a pretty good idea who it could be since only a few people have that kind of power at my work. Well Shawn my HR manager is standing at my door now this is weird. Because I kind of felt obligated I mean really not cool at all of all the people why does it have to be him. Now I feel obligated to do it I suppose so I gave him his massage and such then he informs me that he isn't going to gift me for it. That he will help me at work. Not cool at all so then I started receiving text messages to come to his office I ignored the messages. I was hell no and I would have just kept shit to myself and everything stay the same. But, then I got locked out of my workforce app like administrator locked out I Uninstall cleared cash everything it was locked strange. So then my schedule started to change I mean I checked 5 times im suppose to be there at 7 I get there it was 6am not 7am. This happened for a while before I started to catch on. So I logged in on my other phone and was able to start taking photos and such for proof. Then word got out about my disability and the other employees started making jokes about me and laughing at me. Like one day I helped this old lady life bags of manure into her car so I smelled like shit well they started saying someone gets to go home early because she smells like shit. Or putting me down about the hours I worked. I had one lady I worked with screamed at me to shut my mouth when I was trying to explain that it hadn't been me who made the mistake. She also one days was like the can't the disabled around here do their jobs with out special everything. And she was like telling managers she likes to be the bully. I was ridicules and so I figured out it was dude doing everything no one else would know. He got paranoid thinking I'd say something so he started causing trouble for me. So I finally got ahold of you guys and I said something to management then it just got worse so I messaged him my HR manager after I quit that day and said I wasn't going back if he could get me a position at a different store. He texted me telling me no problem he is friends with those managers at those stores and asked if I still wanted to cashier or would I like a different position. I didn't hear anything for a couple days so I applied myself to those home depots the first one was the Everett home depot I filled out the application it said I could schedule an interview. I scheduled everything was OK then I got a text saying congratulations welcome back to the family you've been hired were skipping the interview come prepared to work. I got there I recognized the lady but not sure from were. Well everything was great then she asked me why I left there so I told her the truth. She then had another lady come into the room. She asked her if she could speak to her in the hall way they went out and talked for about 5 minutes then came back inside and she said I'll have to call you back sometime this week. I almost started crying I asked so that means I don't get the job she said it wasn't like that. They would have to find the best spot for me. I've never heard back from them at all. So I reapplied to the lynnwood home depot same thing first email was to schedule then the second came through stating welcome back to the family your hired. So I show up there and I sign paperwork I've got the job everything then at the bottom it says inllegable for rehiring. I guess I was terminated the 12th of April the same day I went to the everett store after being rehired there. When I had quit the 3rd of April. Then I remembered where I knew that lady from she was at my original home depot over Christmas time setting things up. She is friends with my HR manager and he stated that as well. So I receive emails still from home depot everyday saying I'm moving forward with my application and they send text messages every day still saying same thing its mean and I'm tired of it. I don't deserve this and all I wanted to do was work and have a normal life.

I have a sticky situation I need advice on Concerning long term disability, social security, my prevous job, my prospective new job, and my dad. It’s a long one.
Here’s the story. I needed to stay at mental hospital for almost a month, so I used my company paid short term disability and it was approved. When I left I underwent a procedure called TMS. I needed more time than the short term disability would allow to do the TMS. so I went and applied for long-term disability.
When I applied for long-term disability, my company terminated me, but not officially fire me. I saved my tax returns and my disability checks so when the short-term disability was up. I would be fine financially fora while. I applied for Social Security disability twice and was denied and my long-term disability was taking forever to pay out.
After a while, I couldn’t afford to live by myself, so I moved in with my parents and tried to save as much as possible, but ran out of money eventually. Thinking I would never get any money from long-term disability for a long time I applied to several jobs. My dad was adamant about it and said if I didn’t have a job, by June I wasn’t welcome there.
So despite my illnesses, I began looking for a job, and the effects of the TMS were starting to sink and finally. I was feeling better with a clear mind that I’ve ever had. I felt pulled enough to begin applying for managerial jobs and eventually
I was hired for one. Two days afterwards I got a call from my long-term disability company saying that they mailed me a check for the past few months. They also said that I would get one for this coming month, but I already had a job.
The long-term disability company does not know that I’ve been hired and they offer job training to help get back into the workplace and this training offer a bonus for doing it but I’m in a pickle because I already have a pretty good job right now, but I haven’t started yet.
I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to unwrap all of this without doing something illegal. I feel obligated to tell them soon of wait till the job training is over. I’m going to have to inform ssi because I got an ebt card that I already spent this month.
I want to push this for as much money as possible so I can afford a decent place to live and pay off some debt. What so you all suggest I do to keep it at least technically legal and get as much as I can from my situation.

My journey:
A couple internships with the USDA equating to a year and a half of experience, bachelor’s degree, and recommendations from those internships are the base I built my ladder to employment on. Of course, proper qualifications are essential, however this alone wasn't enough for a position. I tried to figure it out on my own and submitted several applications (literally 7) with a rudimentary resume that of course got no attention. I then did my research on this reddit about how to sell myself to the federal government, and I can tell you that the advice given to me there is 100% of the reason I rose above the rest of the applicants.
I have spent slightly over a month pursuing employment with the USDA using the information from this reddit and in that time I have applied to 3 positions, all of which are still processing, had two referrals to the hiring manager, and two interviews. One of which has offered me a job, and I have not heard from the second, but I do not doubt that they will also offer me the position.
Resume Building:
My restructuring of the resume to please both the hiring manager and the HR person was a major component to my success. Here's what I did/didn't do:
Not using over specific detail (especially for my field of science) to not scare away the HR person, if part of your experience includes an acronym (HPLC, GC, MSA, TLC) you need to reword it so that a layman can comprehend your meaning. Instead of saying I have experience using A High-performance Liquid Chromatographical device, Say I worked with specialized equipment. Instead of saying I am NALA certified, say instead say you have relevant certifications for this position. The specifics can be discussed with your future boss in the interview, the HR person is not going to know what you mean and, in all odds, is annoyed that its there and will not spend the time to find out.
*Using the job questionnaire to write my resume rather than relying on my own interpretation of the position was an important aspect.* Every answer on the questionnaire should be answered in your resume and should be associated with a minimum of 1 year of experience to back it up in your employment/education history, anything less is by default disregarded.
*Using the resume builder provided to you to make sure you have all the information they need/want from you.* I have heard that some people get by on just the spit out resume builder alone, but I am convinced that taking that information and putting it in your own words, and your own design templated resume is more attractive to just about anyone than a plane jane spit out resume.
Length:
There is a lot of back and forth about whether a resume needs to be a page or two long or if it’s okay to take as much space as you need. In the process of my research into and experience with navigating multiple announcements and their requirements I have concluded:
Your resume needs to be as short, and concise as possible while still getting the message across, no one wants to read a word burger. *If* you cannot accomplish that with the confidence that your employer understands the value of your experience, simply make a CV. A CV is essentially that 4 page resume you made that list’s in detail every one of your skills and experience acquired through your career. There is no limit on how long a CV can be, and while there isn’t a pre-defined slot you can submit your CV under the USA Jobs documentation menu, it fits quite nicely in the “Other” category. This keeps the hiring manager happy because they don’t have to read through all of that, all the questions they need answered are on your one- or two-page resume. Additionally, this keeps your future boss happy because if they feel like they don’t know enough about you to give you a chance, they can go read your CV if they want to and see what is really on offer. *I was tipped off to this by one of my interviews for my internships. They referred to my resume that I had submitted as my CV, a subtle way of saying my resume was far to long and needed to be more concise.
Cover Letter: I have never gotten an interview for any position I submitted a cover letter for. That’s just my personal experience, Do with it what you will.
Aspects I originally overlooked (Make sure to adhere strictly to what is required by the government for the resume):
-You need to have dates for each of your previous experiences, adding in the pay scale you held if applicable
-INCLUDE THE PAY GRADE YOU ARE SEEKING IN YOUR RESUEME; IF YOU ARE APPLYING FOR MULTIPLE GRADES INCLUDE THEM ALL
-INCLUDE THE ANNOUNCMENT NUMBER INTO YOUR RESUEME
-INCLUDE WHAT EMPLOYMENT TERMS YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT (permanent, part time, seasonal, temporary, contract, etc.)
-INCLUDE THE NAME AND NUMBER OF YOUR MOST RECENT SUPERVISOR AND INDCATE IF THEY CAN BE CONTACTED
These are all required by every applicant, although I believe they don't disqualify you right off of the bat for not adhering to the small details, but if it’s for a position that requires extreme attention to details (any STEM position really) you might as well shoot yourself in the foot for omitting these, because it proves you did not read what was required of you, and you will not pay attention to small details.
The interview process: I have learned a few things about the interviewing process from this reddit as well as advice from my federal employee mentors during my internships.
If you are qualified, you should have no fear of any of the questions they will ask you. If you are unable to answer them confidently and fully then you may not be cut out for the positions you are seeking. This part of the interview is the bare minimum for employers, if you cannot pass these hurdles than you never stood a chance, if this is you, my recommendation is to pay closer attention to the questionnaire of the positions you are applying for, if you fit the bill, it should be immediately obvious and vice versa.
Know what answers they want from you to obvious questions. If they ask you “ Do you prefer X working conditions or Y working conditions?” Answer in the positive for what sort of working conditions you will be working under. For example, if you prefer field work, but you are applying for an indoor job, do not tell them you prefer to work in the field. What they want to hear is that you prefer the working conditions the job is tied to. This shows you understand the conditions you will be working in and are suited to them. In summation, don’t fumble the obvious questions for a misguided attempt at 100% honesty. If you are willing to tolerate the aspects of the job that don’t suit your tastes to a T, then don’t bother showing anything but an eager and willing disposition in the face of this work condition, COMMIT, don’t give them the impression you are going to “put up with it” because there WILL be other candidates showing enthusiasm for every aspect of the job.
The Real Interview begins:
*The real interview is the questions that you ask the interviewers near the end and will be the metric by which you are chosen or cast aside (assuming you didn’t fumble the required questions, which again if you are qualified for the job, should not be an issue). The interviewers are not allowed to go off script and ask you questions that they haven't already run through the HR department to make sure that they can ask you these things. Remember that a good portion of the standard 1-hour interview is the questions phase at the end, if your interview is ending a half an hour or even 20 mins early, don't expect to get that FJO in your inbox.*
Some questions that show you are a competent and desirable applicant:
*"What in your opinion, makes a good (enter sought job title here)?" Allow everyone in the interview to give their own answer to this question. This an essential question, they all have prepared answers already for how many times they have been asked it, if you do not ask this question just to mark the hiring mangers email as junk and move on with your life, because it shows you don't care what others expect of you at worse, or you aren’t considerate at best. I am perhaps overexaggerating here, but I promise you it is not a good look.
What sort of tasks and projects will you be doing in the future? (shows you care about and are preparing for the future before it happens and are invested in the mission)
Which task do I need to be most careful with? What are the most hazardous aspects of this job? This isn't just for physical tasks, and not all hazards are to your health, there are financial and legal hazards, mistakes can be made in any medium for all positions that cost the department money and time. (this question shows that you are safety oriented, nothing causes more grief to an employer than an employee that has safety/regulations violations that come down on the supervisor’s head, because at the end of the day you are their responsibility, and any failure on your part makes them look like a bad teacher)
Pose a hypothetical question: "If all went well, I got the job, and you assume that I have successfully completed all of the training asked of me and I could start working immediately after the interview is over, what task would you have for me to do today?" This gets them to think about you as someone who is already a part of the team so they can mentally see you performing this task and can see themselves giving you the task. It will also give you an idea of what sort of work you will be getting into and doing on a day-to-day basis. If their answer is "well we really have to make sure you are properly trained..." do not be discouraged, this is the safe answer they are required to give. Although they may seem reluctant to answer, the question has already worked its magic in their minds.
“Is this a new position, or am I replacing someone?” This segues into asking why the previous person in your position left, which along with gaining potential insight into what quality of job you are applying for also shows that you think about your actions and approach things cautiously rather than diving in headfirst into something you don't fully understand. If it is a new position, then you get to express your joy and excitement at potentially getting in on the ground floor of something new.
“Do you ever do extension work, or collaborate with other locations?” This may only be applicable in research fields or where agencies share resources and projects with each other. This suggests that you are privy to the big picture, are an eager and willing communicator (as this is essential for any extension work), and that you are potentially willing to take on the more complicated aspects of your position. This can also display your interest in what your team is doing.
"Are there any collateral duties that I could take on and preform?" This is a question that shows you are a driven, hardworking, and enthused applicant as well as shows you have some knowledge about the inner workings of the federal government already. (Collateral duties are like pet jobs for your job, many positions in the STEM field have these as a requirement for each employee, especially the locations with small work forces.)
“What is the workflow like? How often are you swamped, and do you go through periods of low workflow?” This helps the assure your interviewers that you are on the same page when it comes to expectations. If they hammer on about how busy things can get, offer to come in during weekends if they need you to, to get the job done. Very rarely will this be accepted or even asked of you, (depending on the job outline of course, but usually they do not ask this of you if it is not stated in the announcement) however offering shows your commitment to getting the work done. Say that staying late to make sure time sensitive tasks are taken care of is also a flattering remark you could sneak in. (Only if you are legitimately willing to follow through on this)
I personally like to conclude the interview with some off topic questions that loosen peoples’ spines and allow some of there personalities to come out, if you can get one of the interviewers gabbing about small talk you have shown that you are a personable and approachable individual. *DISCLAIMER* Do not overdo this, if initial attempts to go off topic are rebuffed, take heed, and conclude your interview gracefully.
Some easy and safe off topic questions:
*If you are moving to a new city for this position, you can:
Ask about the personality and culture of the city.
Ask about fun things to do, are there good restaurants?
How do they like living there personally?
Is the traffic bad? (it’s very hard not to give your opinion about traffic.)
Any fun events or special activities that occur in the city?
If you already live in the area try these instead:
Do in-house activities occur? (Pot-lucks, birthday celebrations, going away parties, holiday celebrations etc..)
“(Insert a brief and unusual/exciting/dangerous story from your past work experience *unless* you were the cause of said incident) Has there been anything like that here?” You should be inundated with the stories that get told again and again about the office or location you will be working at. Unless it’s a new facility there’s always a cautionary tale on the tip of people’s tongues. I will note that it is important to share a story first, it helps people open up and see the reason you are asking that question, and makes it clear that you aren’t fishing for gossip, (which would be VERY detrimental, especially to the HR person bound to be present in the interview) but rather interested in the history, stability and security of your potential workplace.
If I get hired, will I have an opportunity to bring X to work and show them a little bit about what I do? Depending on clearance requirements, this is an easy ask, and could bait one of the interviewers into a story about how they brough someone in to see where they work. It also shows you have at least some ideas of what a healthy work-life balance is.
Tips about tone: Do not come off as cocky or self assured in these interviews, stay humble is my advice. Using language like "When I get the job I will..." "How early can I start?" "I can't wait to meet you all in person and work with you" These all seem like innocent statements, but they are presumptuous and can come off as egotistical, always refer to the position as something you are optimistically hopeful for, not as something you have already acquired. "If I get the job I will" "If I was hired, can you ballpark a start date?" "I hope to meet you all in person and am eager to work with you".
Good Luck out there everyone!

Hey all,
I've got a long story which started around 5 years ago. I will give a bit of background about my relationship which was an interesting one, to say the least. I appreciate you taking the time to read this as well since it was not easy for me to write this.
I met this girl while I was studying music production in college, which was a career I was super excited about pursuing. I have always wanted to work in a studio and record/mix songs for bands once I had finished. I managed to fall into a relationship with someone that I was deeply in love with at the time, although, she had pretty severe mental disorders such as C-PTSD and psychosis which caused her to have seizures several times a day. The relationship at first was tough, but I said to myself that I'd stick by her no matter how difficult because I felt as though I was helping her through this extremely difficult time in her life especially as there was conflict in her family at times. Despite her disability and challenges, we still had an amazing time together and she felt like she was the only one who could understand me as a person.
The issues started later in university as I was nearing my final year. I started to become a bit more agitated and stressed as I worked extremely hard to graduate with first-class honours by often working late in the studio tryna get shit done. The relationship also started to take a bit of a hit as I was giving my girlfriend less attention due to how busy I was. Around this time, my girlfriend decided to talk to another guy whom she used to be friends with but was also a bit of a weirdo. I took notice of this fairly quickly and started to become sceptical for good reason because she was on her phone a lot more and was also spending less quality time with me. I asked her if something was going on between them multiple times. She would continue saying that everything is fine and nothing is going on. After a lot of mental suffering on my part thinking about the possibilities of what they were messaging each other about, my worst nightmare almost came true. She eventually told me a few months later that the guy seemed to have kind of blackmailed her into (almost) sending nudes to this dude who she was talking to. Whether nudes were ever sent, we will never know to this day but holy shit it was like a huge kick in the nuts. I felt completely lied to. All the years I have been there for her every single day even at her worst points when she almost committed suicide and I just get lied to my face. I was in shock when she told me this and I somehow seemed to be more annoyed with the guy than her because she said that he was extremely manipulative which sure is the case. She then said she had a phase of BPD where she didn't really know what she was doing anymore and was acting like a completely different person. Regardless, my trust for her instantly decreased. She promised it wouldn't happen again which it also didn't after that.
After a few months, it was hard to fathom what was going through her mind at the time, however, I started to kind of get over it after a year or so hoping that life will get better. I eventually graduated university with a first-class honours and started to apply for 100s of jobs in the music industry. I had not even received a single response from any employer which was pretty crap. Dispite this, I thought I'd go back to my job working in a vape shop which I kinda enjoyed because I had a huge interest in the subject and helped many people quit smoking. Plus I had some extra time to work on my personal music throughout that time and build a portfolio of songs since I was always into producing dance music.
After university, I soon realised that there aren't really any stable jobs in music anymore, if there are, they are extremely difficult and competitive to even be considered for a job interview. I then really got into programming as this was always the side-hobby I was interested in since secondary school. I started delving into a bunch of projects and created a website for the vape shop that I was working for. As poorly designed as it was at the time, it still brought in a huge amount of profit for the business. I started getting good at different aspects of computer science but it was just never enough to even step into a programming job, especially as most employers in my area won't even consider you without a degree in a technical subject.
Around this time, my girlfriend was really into horses and decided to buy two, a mother and her foal. I was initially worried because of the amount of work that would probably be put on me because of this. I didn't want to take her dreams away so I said 'go for it, but I don't want to be too involved with it' as this is her hobby.
Eventually, the vape shop I was working for, went out of business which also left me without a job a few days before I went away with my girlfriend to see my family abroad. We went away, still had a great time and I also introduced her to my grandparents and some other family members. Though, due to her PTSD and seizures, my grandparents weren't used to seeing this and were a bit concerned for her but also for me. It sounds bad but it got to the point where they started to get a bit annoying and I tried to avoid them in public at all cost, not because of second hand embarrassment but because I'd have to explain to people every single time that it's nothing serious. It was just stressful but yet again, we pushed through.
Upon our return, I found myself in a difficult position, focusing on finding stable employment and nurturing our relationship. My girlfriend landed a job in software engineering, which I found impressive, and I hoped to join her in the industry.
I eventually decided to propose to my girlfriend on Valentine's Day last year (2023) which I thought went well as I managed to record it too and I felt it was right. The evening on the day of the proposal was strange though. My girlfriend just didn't seem with it and spent a lot of the time on her phone watching TikTok's (being antisocial). Because of this, I was annoyed as I was hoping to watch a movie with her or something and I made it fairly clear to her that I was feeling this way. Because of me being annoyed, she would then go in another seizure as she can't really deal with confrontation. We eventually went to sleep both annoyed at each other. We wake up the next morning and go downstairs and speak with her mum. Her mum reminded her of what happened the day before with the proposal (acting excited). At that point, it was super strange because she stated that she couldn't remember any of it. Now, I know she has amnesia but it was never to this extent. I felt absolutely terrible. I couldn't believe she doesn't remember the important day of our relationship. What's she gonna forget next, our wedding day?
I was pissed off and went back home. My mum also obviously asked how the proposal went. I just shrugged it off and said 'yeah it was good' wanting to avoid the conversation. A couple weeks went by and I was still a bit annoyed about the whole thing but I kind of learnt to just accept it and move on. This is where the relationship took the most strain that it did in a long time. Remember where I said earlier to my girlfriend, that I wanted her to get horses but also didn't want too much involvement with it? Well... that didn't last very long. Throughout late last year, I sacrificed most of my weekend and quality time with my girlfriend to literally pick up after her horse's shit and it wasn't even a small amount of shit. It was heaps and heaps. At the start, it was manageable but the seizures and sacrificing my time put a lot of strain on my mental health which caused me to become super agitated around her.
In March last year, I hit my breaking point as she wasn't feeling great one weekend and basically left me to do all of the work for her horses. I then went home the same day angry ignoring her the whole weekend. The Monday after, I kind of recovered and wanted to talk to her again to which point I apologised for my behaviour. She called me soon after that and said that she can't do this anymore and wants to take a break. Feeling extremely shocked and down about this, I decided to write her a letter apologising and explaining all the amazing things we could do with our future. A couple days went by as I gave her some space and on the Friday that week, she called me and basically said 'it's not going to work out anymore' to which point... it ended. I'm not ashamed to say that after the call, I was instantly crying my eyes out in front of my mum explaining what had happened.
I was depressed, frustrated and had absolutely zero motivation. All I could think about was how much work and effort was packed into that relationship to make her better mentally over the 5 years. Breaking up 2 weeks after a proposal isn't really the result I was expecting to say the least.
A few more months after that around July last year, I eventually landed a customer service role at a corporate company and managed to move out of my mums place. I really wanted to grow in this company and hopefully move to a more technical role to develop my career in tech. After becoming really good at learning about the software we sold, I started my first step into moving to a technical support role; the online training. I spent a few months before the new year (2024) doing the training and gaining the necessary knowledge of the products to move into the role I was hoping to work for. After completing the training with flying colours, I started doing some shadowing which was nice as I learnt about how the department operates. This was the point where I applied internally to the job and I was invited to an interview. The interviewer gave me a technical quiz to complete which was mainly general knowledge for computer systems, operating systems and so on. I passed the quiz. I was then invited to a second interview and this is where I fumbled hard. The interviewer asked me some general questions about myself and why I wanted the job which I was able to answer really well. He then proceeded to ask me more technical questions which I just didn't know some of the answers to. The interview finished and knowing that I didn't do well, I ended up not getting the job. The reason being that 'I don't have the qualifications or experience' which I was pretty beat up about it considering I was almost promised a job and growth within the company.
Since my contract in the customer service role runs out later this year, I'm going to be left with no job unless I look elsewhere. I was also hoping to get out of this job soon because of the amount of stress and damage it is doing to me mentally. This is primarily due to lack of staff in our department. Due to the still tormenting break-up, the stress of the job, cost of living, loneliness, having absolutely no direction in life and no career, I've become clinically depressed. Not just that, but I've also gained a bunch of weight and I am feeling absolutely terrible about myself. This is where I am now. I am drinking a lot more than I used to almost to an unhealthy point and I don't have the energy or time to stay active and eat well as much as I try to stick to a solid plan. I will stick to a healthy habit for a week and fall into old habits again very quickly which also causes me to gain more weight; a vicious cycle.
I'm currently 23. I don't know how to proceed with my life or even look forward to life in the future. It seems bad but I am jealous of my girlfriend having the job that I can only dream of and that she doesn't even have a degree at all. All that life has taught me so far, is that hard work does not pay off so why even try? It's a difficult situation especially as much as I want to make a positive change in my life, I am so destroyed as a person, that I don't even have the energy to make changes.
I know this is a lot of information to take in, but I want to ask for some advice on which way I could go to get out of this. I also want to thank you for making it this far into the read as I know it was long, and I want to also thank anyone in advance for taking the time to potentially offer some advice. Also feel free to ask my any questions if you feel that there are some parts I skipped over.

This post is meant to open a dialogue on how this subreddit manages the conversation around Penny’s 2♥ scene.

We invite all members of the community to read through this post, but ask that comments and conversation center the question of moderation and not interpretation of the scene.

The scene

• George is in front of his mailbox.
• George: *Sigh*… How am I going to reach that letter in the back?
• Penny is walking by. She notices George sitting in front of his mailbox, runs over.
• Penny: Here, let me help you, Mr. Mullner!
• Penny goes around George to the back of his wheelchair and gives it a push; he rolls several feet away from her while she stays in place. She grabs the letter.
• Penny: There you go!
• George: Hmmph. I could’ve done it myself! And I can certainly move around on my own! How feeble do you think I am?
• The farmer enters.
• Penny: [Farmer]? You were watching us?
  • I was. You did a kind thing there, Penny. (+50 friendship)
    • Penny: Thank you… I just wish George wasn’t so upset. I was only trying to help.
  • I was. You should’ve asked instead of assuming George wanted help. (-50 friendship)
    • Penny: Oh... I guess you're right. I'm sorry, Mr. Mullner. It was rude, what I did.
  • I’m just taking a walk, minding my own business. (No effect on friendship)
    • Penny: I see…
• George: *sigh*…No, no… I’m sorry, miss. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. It was actually very kind of you to help me out.
• Penny: That’s ok, Mr. Mullner. I understand.
• George leaves, goes into his house.
• Penny: It must be difficult to grow old…

Readings

This scene comes up often on StardewValley. Every time it does, people are harmed—particularly those with disabilities.
Let's address a few things.

Personhood	Moving a person's wheelchair without their consent is a violation of their bodily autonomy, comparable to picking up a person and placing them elsewhere. Her action arises from a set of cultural norms that views disabled people as "less than" or incapable—which then extends into a violation of personhood. In this way, Penny's action is ableist.
Intention	Penny's intention is good. She means to help. She is not bigoted, or hateful, and certainly not consciously biased against George.
Gameplay (1)	The gameplay awards friendship points for reinforcing her actions. It depletes friendship points for identifying what she did as wrong and offering alternative action, i.e.: telling her she should have asked instead of assuming George wanted help. The friendship mechanic suggests that supporting an ableist action is the "right" answer, and correcting it is "wrong." This is frustrating.
Gameplay (2)	Friendship points are yoked to the individual character. It is defensible to view the points not as a reflection of what is morally right, but how that character feels. Penny feels bad at being corrected, and her friendship with you falls.
Apologies	George apologizes to Penny. Again, this is frustrating, because the conclusion of the scene leans towards framing him as the one who wronged Penny, rather than the other way around. Notably, the only way that Penny apologizes to George is when you correct her.
Is Penny ableist?	She is not hateful or bigoted. No, Penny is not inherently ableist. But yes, her action was ableist. And yes, the story/gameplay seems to support that action more than it corrects it.

All this coexists. None of these points are in contradiction.

Moderation

We last made an announcement over a year ago, about the validity of having issues with representation in Stardew Valley.

We want to assert the following as valid concerns:

• People of color are distinctly underrepresented in the valley. Art and modding projects that re-imagine white characters as PoC are welcome here.
• Non-binary players are unable to fully play as themselves. The game mechanically requires you to choose between male and female, and genders you in dialogue, mail, billboard postings, and swimgear.
• Re: Penny's 2-heart event, many people with disabilities consider it deeply violating to move someone's wheelchair.

Historically, we try to offer modcomments (examples: link, link, link) and actively mod ableist comments. The thing is, the subject comes up all too often now. Penny’s 2♥ has become a regular topic, inevitably and repeatedly sparking crowded debates and retaliatory posts that, unfortunately, tend to sidestep nuance.

Right now, we want to open a conversation with members of this community who have disabilities.

We know you’re tired. What are your thoughts on how this should be handled, going forward?
A few possible options:

1. Make Penny's 2♥ a removed topic: disallow any posts and any comment chains about it completely.
   • We do not like this option, as we do not want to censor people. But given how hurtful this topic always is, we could remove future posts and point to this post for posterity.
2. Increase the rigor and application of repost policy under Rule 3: allow the topic, but redirect any similar or responding submissions to the comments of the "original post" for 3 months.
   • "Responding" posts might be a screenshot titled I don't care what people think of her, I just married Penny!
   • We can adjust the 3 month period, of course.
3. Continue as is with modcomments and comment removals, and try to educate people about ableism.
4. Other options? The floor is open.

This isn’t a poll based on hard numbers, but an open forum where we’re hoping that people with disabilities will weigh in. Able bodied people are welcome to contribute to the conversation, but please treat this as a space to elevate and listen to the voices of disabled players. We’ll listen and try to form our policy from there.

Note: Ableism of any stripe—including dismissing concerns around this scene as a real issue—will not be tolerated.

"Good God Almighty, like back in the old days You know, years ago they had the A&R men to tell you what to play How to play it and you know whether it's disco and rock But um, we just went in the studio and we did it We had champagne in the studio, of course, you know Compliments of the company, and we just laid back and did it So we hope you enjoy listening to this album half as much As we enjoyed playing it for you, because we had a ball Only real music is gonna last All that other bullshit is here today and gone tomorrow" Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M. get the money, dolla-dolla-dolla bill y'all Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M. get the money, dolla-dolla-dolla bill y'al Yeah, uh, after hours at Il Mulino Or Sotto Sotto, just talkin' women and vino The contract like '91 Dan Marino I swear this guy Michael Rapino's boosting my ego Overly focused, it's far from the time to rest now Debates growin' 'bout who they think is the best now Took a while, got the jokers out of the deck now I'm holdin' all the cards and niggas wanna play chess now I hear you talking, say it twice so I know you meant it Fuck it, I don't even tint it, they should know who's in it I'm authentic, real name, no gimmicks No game, no scrimmage, I ain't playin' with you niggas at all My classmates, they went on to be chartered accountants Or work with their parents But thinkin' back on how they treated me My high school reunion might be worth an appearance Make everybody have to go through security clearance Tables turn, bridges burn, you live and learn With the ink I could murder, word to my nigga Irv Yeah, I swear shit just started clickin' dog You know it's real when you are who you think you are Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M. get the money, dolla-dolla-dolla bill y'all Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M. get the money, dolla-dolla-dolla bill y'all Uh, I had Benzes 'fore you had braces The all-black Maybach but I'm not a racist Inside's whiter than Katy Perry's face is Yellow diamonds in my Jeses I just might learn to speak Mandarin Japanese for the yen that I'm handlin' International Hov', that's my handle My saint's Chango, light a candle El Gran Santo on the mantle Case y'all didn't know, I speak Spanish too, uh Shout out to World Wide Wes Everywhere we go, we leave a worldwide mess Yes, still Roc La Familia Says a lot about you if you not feeling us The homie said "Hov', it ain't many of us" I told 'em "Less is more, nigga, is plenty of us" Cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M. get the money, dolla-dolla-dolla bill y'all Cake, cake cake, cake cake, cake 500 million, I got a pound cake Niggas is frontin', that's upside down cake Get 'em a red nose, they clown cakes They shoulda never let you 'round cake Look at my neck, I got a carrot cake Now here's the icing on the cake Cake, cake cake, cake cake Uh I'm just gettin' started, oh yeah we got it bitch I've done made more millionaires than the lotto did Dame made millions, Bigg made millions Ye made millions, Just made millions Lyor made millions, Cam made millions Beans tell you if he wasn't in his feelings Uh, I'm back in my bag My eyes bloodshot but my jet don't lag A pair of Jordan 3's tryna chase this cash Gucci air bag just in case we crash Uh, last night was mad trill I'm fresh out of Advil, Jesus grab the wheel Yeah, uh, look, fuck all that "Happy to be here" shit that y'all want me on I'm the big homie, they still be tryna lil bro me, dog Like I should fall in line, like I should alert niggas When I'm 'bout to drop somethin' crazy And not say I'm the greatest of my generation Like I should be dressing different Like I should be less aggressive and pessimistic Like I should be way more nervous and less dismissive Like I should be on my best behavior and not talk my shit And do it major like the niggas who paved the way for us Like I didn't study the game to the letter And understand that I'm not doin' it the same Man, I'm doing it better Like I didn't make that clearer this year Like I should feel, I don't know, guilty for saying that They should put a couple more mirrors in here So I can stare at myself These are usually just some thoughts That I would share with myself But I thought "Fuck it", it's worth it to share 'em With someone else other than Paris for once I text her from time to time, she a mom now I guess sometimes life forces us to calm down I told her she could live with me if she need to I got a compound but I think she's straight 'Cause she supported since Hot Beats Right before Wayne came and got me Out of the back room where I was rapping with Jas Over beats that I shouldn't have in the hopes for the glory He walked right past in the hallway Three months later, I'm his artist He probably wouldn't remember that story But that shit stick with me always Couldn't believe when he called me You never know, it could happen to you And I just spent four Ferrari's all on a brand new Bugatti And did that shit 'cause it's somethin' to do Yeah, I guess that's just who I became, dawg Nothing was the same, dawg

I have a brother who is 63, does have intellectual disabilities (I believe his is high functioning on the autism scale), is going blind, and has diabetes complications. He lives alone and all the famility support he has had most of his life is gone (death of family members). I need to get a Texas state social worker assigned to him to determine what services he is eligible for and get him into either a group housing situation or low income senior housing. I am older than my brother, do not currently live in Texas, and have been given the run around by various agencies I have contacted to see if I can get him help. He is unable to investigate or navigate the various agencies to find help for himself (intellectual disabilities). I've tried calling adult protective services in TX, the Harris county health and human services agency, etc. I am unable to find any agency that can direct me or help me request a social worker to investigate my brothers living situation and navigate the various services in TX to find him help. Does anyone have any advice on what agency I would call to get a state social worker assigned to him?

I'm 14 and supposed to be in 8th grade. I think my parents lost custody of me to DCF a few weeks ago at this point? I'm currently living with my grandma, but for the first two weeks of not living with my parents I lived with my grandpa. My parents lost custody of me for obvious reasons. They failed to update my homeschool progress (because they hardly homeschooled me in the first place), they have been VERY non compliant and combative with authorities, and there have been obvious signs of domestic violence and animal neglect going on in their house due to multiple police calls reguarding loud yelling, and escaped farm animals sometimes even directly from one of my siblings. In my current situation, I'll be returning to public school for the remainder of the school year starting tomorrow, but the thing is I haven't actually been to school since second grade. My parents pulled me out at that time because I started complaining about school being too hard and I knew my mom was teacher.
I had significant trouble focusing on anything and had an attention span of literally five seconds before getting lost in my own thoughts. I would miss out on entire classes because of this too, even though it was such an early grade. The past few years I realized this was the cause of me not wanting to go to school, and tried my absolute best to pay attention to everything people were telling me and I tried my best to be more responsible to appease my parents and have a healthier life. It worked, I have few issues paying attention anymore, but everything else was just too hard... After I was pulled from school my parents never got to work on educating me or my brother (My younger brother is in a similar situation, except the difference is he's never recieved any formal education at all. At all.), and I don't even know why they didn't. My life until now largely consisted of me being left alone to the internet and playing video games, but as I've gotten older I've tried everything I can to at least learn some forms of general knowledge on the internet because it was really all I knew to do. My parents were stressed and overworked as I grew up, and our house was in a terrible condition. They would constantly yell at me to stop using screens and help them but I just couldn't. A bit unrelated but if you're wondering, yes me and my brother almost never left the house at all. As I've been growing up my mom has been repeatedly abused by her partner, which has probably caused a handful of traumatic experiences to me and my siblings and effected our mental health(in case your wondering, I have 3 siblings, one of which no longer lives with us and two of which have already finished school.).
Earlier today I went inside of a public school for the first time in years, albeit anxious. Me and my younger brother were given a tour of the building and introduced to some of our teachers and thats all that happened. We expected a test that would determine our grade level or something or if we could go to school there but nope. BUT. My main worry is that I'm 100% not smart enough and I'll have to hand in loads of empty papers which will be embaressing. The only skill I'm confident in is social studies which I practiced extensively on a website called IXL.com. (I should have just practiced math :( I should have just practiced math.) I only know some math like what letters mean what most symbols mean (except parenthesis ironic LOL) but that doesn't mean I'm any good at it. I won't be able to follow any instructions on worksheets because I won't know what the instructions mean. I was a little less stressed about it at my grandpa's because my grandpa has a son 1 year younger than me who didn't do too well at school, and he needed my help for his science homework and I basically did most of it for him and corrected almost every question he got wrong.
My younger brother has to do the same with very little schoolwork done in his life to go off of. DCF believes that my younger brother has mental illnesses/disabilities that were not being met by my parents(Gee, I wonder why I had so much trouble in school and my parents didn't even try to find out why I was struggling). So my brother has it 100x worse than me but I'm too stressed to pay attention to him too much (sorry...).
I know someone will ask why my worksheets are empty and I won't know what to say which will suck... Ive left a lot of things out as well because I'm mostly going off of what I'm feeling right now and this isn't easy... ill answer any questions, though.
Edit because this is important: I'm also trying to act as if I want to go back to my parents' house to the people investigating my case, and my parents are working hard to try to get me back. I do want to go home. Although I think my parents are not entirely innocent because no one that acts the way they do (neglecting our mental health, being non compliant with the law) are innocent. I'm NOT saying its their fault. They're likely struggling as well. I want to go home because I feel like they're the only chance I have at catching up in schooling, and I miss some of my hobbies that my grandparents won't help me to continue doing, and I love my family.

Before I start throwing allegations, I want to try and sort this out.
For about a month or so now, I have noticed that sometimes my computer will "hitch" when dragging windows, opening/closing things and so on. Sometimes it would take abnormally long to start, lag in the BIOS of all things and just seem sluggish. These events were always brief though and rare, so never really thought much of it.
Then last week I though to recheck drivers/firmware for my motherboard and visited Asus' website, only to also see there was a new BIOS revision and the whole Intel baseline debacle. So I updated and turned off the Asus MCE(Multi core enhancement) as I want to use my PC for at least a decade, and while I have never had a processor die on me, wanted to extend its longevity. This did not solve the weird issues I was having though.
The past few days though have been a disaster. It's gotten worse. I experience weird lag spikes in doing simple things, such as typing in Word. Then I tried playing a game I have played for hours and kept getting unity.dll errors when writing/accessing system memory, and the game hard crashing, which it had never done before. I thought maybe it was the game, reinstall did nothing. I thought maybe it's my GPU drivers, DDU and reinstall, same issue. Looked up the specific crash online and saw others mention it and that it was only that game crashing for them as well. Very few solutions. But what made my hair stand up was one user mentioned that they had to RMA their CPU, before the crashing stopped. I thought "No way, that's soooo rare for a CPU to die".
Back into the BIOS I went, disabled even XMP. Game kept crashing, serious micro stuttering. Restarted the PC. Windows crashed as soon as I logged in, no BSOD, just frozen entirely. Held the power button and reset, went into the BIOS, thinking "Why would disabling XMP make things worse?" So again, back into the BIOS and set it back to XMP. Moved the mouse to click "Save and exit", screen went black before I even clicked on anything. The fans spun at max for a moment, and the computer reset. back into BIOS, enabled XMP, saved and exited. Was finally able to boot to the desktop as normal. Checked event viewer and all I have is "Critical Event 1, WHEA error". Then a gorillion of the unity.dll errors of course.
I have:

1. Ran Intel diagnostic tool: No errors
2. Set baseline standards for everything in the BIOS
3. Re-enabled XMP
4. GPU drivers reinstalled via DDU
5. Not added or changed any hardware in the system
6. All storage drives report healthy and good
7. SFC and DISM both report no issues with Windows itself
8. Reinstalled the game

Bruh. Is my CPU actually unstable because it was running at whatever Asus' MCE was doing? I know what you might be thinking, "Well why don't you re-enable MCE and see if it's "stable" then?". Well, I'm typing this right now and will try that after. But I guess the crux of the issue is that it should be stable *without* MCE being enabled. Anything else I can try?
Here is the error file for the game as Windows did not create a dump: https://files.catbox.moe/9hkof8.7z
Edit: Now I got a "System Thread Exception Not Handled" error, and this time Windows did create a minidump: https://files.catbox.moe/4vqw4n.7z
Edit: Another memory dump just now "Unexpected Kernel Mode Trap": https://files.catbox.moe/yhgg27.zip
------------------------------------------------------- OS Name Microsoft Windows 11 Pro Version 10.0.22631 Build 22631 Other OS Description Not Available OS Manufacturer Microsoft Corporation System Name Nix System Manufacturer ASUS System Model System Product Name System Type x64-based PC System SKU SKU Processor 13th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-13700K, 3400 Mhz, 16 Core(s), 24 Logical Processor(s) BIOS Version/Date American Megatrends Inc. 2202, 2024-04-17 SMBIOS Version 3.5 Embedded Controller Version 255.255 BIOS Mode UEFI BaseBoard Manufacturer ASUSTeK COMPUTER INC. BaseBoard Product ROG MAXIMUS Z790 HERO BaseBoard Version Rev 1.xx Platform Role Desktop Secure Boot State On PCR7 Configuration Elevation Required to View Windows Directory C:\Windows System Directory C:\Windows\system32 Boot Device \Device\HarddiskVolume1 Locale United States Hardware Abstraction Layer Version = "10.0.22621.2506" User Name Nix\0 Time Zone Canada Central Standard Time Installed Physical Memory (RAM) 96.0 GB Total Physical Memory 95.7 GB Available Physical Memory 82.0 GB Total Virtual Memory 102 GB Available Virtual Memory 82.4 GB Page File Space 6.25 GB Page File C:\pagefile.sys Kernel DMA Protection On Virtualization-based security Running Virtualization-based security Required Security Properties Virtualization-based security Available Security Properties Base Virtualization Support, Secure Boot, DMA Protection, UEFI Code Readonly, SMM Security Mitigations 1.0, Mode Based Execution Control, APIC Virtualization Virtualization-based security Services Configured Hypervisor enforced Code Integrity Virtualization-based security Services Running Hypervisor enforced Code Integrity Windows Defender Application Control policy Enforced Windows Defender Application Control user mode policy Off Device Encryption Support Elevation Required to View A hypervisor has been detected. Features required for Hyper-V will not be displayed. Name NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3090 PNP Device ID PCI\VEN_10DE&DEV_2204&SUBSYS_87B31043&REV_A1\4&256A0AA8&0&0008 Adapter Type NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3090, NVIDIA compatible Adapter Description NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3090 Adapter RAM (1,048,576) bytes Installed Drivers C:\Windows\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_84b2c943d6816eb7\nvldumdx.dll,C:\Windows\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_84b2c943d6816eb7\nvldumdx.dll,C:\Windows\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_84b2c943d6816eb7\nvldumdx.dll,C:\Windows\System32\DriverStore\FileRepository\nv_dispi.inf_amd64_84b2c943d6816eb7\nvldumdx.dll Driver Version 31.0.15.5222 INF File oem102.inf (Section071 section) Color Planes Not Available Color Table Entries 4294967296 Resolution 3840 x 2160 x 160 hertz Bits/Pixel 32 Memory Address 0x76000000-0x76FFFFFF Memory Address 0x0000-0x1FFFFFF I/O Port 0x00007000-0x0000707F IRQ Channel IRQ 4294967255 Driver C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DRIVERSTORE\FILEREPOSITORY\NV_DISPI.INF_AMD64_84B2C943D6816EB7\NVLDDMKM.SYS (31.0.15.5222, 57.30 MB (60,078,728 bytes), 2024-04-16 19:43)

I have received a letter from Social Security outlining charges that will be made to my check beginning next month for Medicare when my 65th birthday comes.
I am still covered by good private insurance and drug plan as a dependent by my wife's current employer. I have the forms from her employer showing "credible coverage."
I called the phone number for Social Security that was given on the letter. The hold time was over an hour and I left my contact information for a callback. The letter stated I had sixty days from receipt of the letter to dispute anything. I am not disputing so much as asking for "push back " for benefits.
Does anyone have advice on anything else I should do now ?
Should I write a letter also ? I called the local Social Security office and it was never answered , but a recording said due to increased volume , no service was available and then hung up. Three times.
Any advice appreciated. Thank you

I proceed with caution, believing there is a danger in applying anything from one of the novellas in The Fifth Head of Cerberus to one or both of the others. With that caveat out of the way, let me knit together the paradoxical union of Veil’s Hypothesis (from “The Fifth Head of Cerberus”) and Hagsmith’s “Verity” (from “V.R.T.”).
Veil’s Hypothesis goes something like this: shape-shifters on Ste. Anne, having killed all the French starcrosser people, “took their places and the ships” (23), so that all the people on the previously empty sister world of Ste. Croix are imitation humans. Let us first note that Veil’s is definitely a “pod-people” program: the shape-shifter can only imitate a person he or she has killed. In the majority reading, this is arguably the case for Victor; but it also implies that Victor’s mother has killed at least three people: a girl, a crone, and a beauty. Let us also note that Veil’s makes French families the most likely to be actually abo infiltrators.
Hagsmith’s statement, which I term a commonly-held “Verity,” is quoted here:

Dr. Hagsmith: “No, not being really human . . . the abos can’t handle any sort of tool. They can pick them up and carry them about, but they can’t accomplish anything with them. That’s the test the French are supposed to have applied at the ford called Running Blood—stopped every man that passed and made him dig with a shovel.” (151)

This “abo klutz” adage, seemingly necessary to the plot of “V.R.T.,” further complicates itself by defining as tools such diverse artifacts as shovels (per quote), rifles (for Victor), pens (for Victor), and dress buttons (for Victor’s abo mother). However, in a larger way it plays mischief with Veil’s Hypothesis in making all the faux-French colonists complete klutzes. But let us proceed with the supposition that the infiltration was more gradual than the “all at once” approach, allowing enough tool-use to build the original structures on Ste. Croix.
If this is true, it suggests that Ste. Croix has an “Eloi” caste of beautiful abo klutzes supported at essential levels by a “Morlock” caste of tool-using humans. To test this, tracking the seven cases of clones-at-large in the text (the four-armed mantis [59–60], the sweeper slave [61], the junior officer’s slave [137], the arresting trio [172], and Celestine Etienne [173], we see the clones at a variety of social stations. We observe that the arresting trio of the very secret police has a pistol among them, which seems to bolster the argument of tools for the competent, but I draw your attention to the junior officer at the planetary capital: his slave not only keeps the officer’s knife sharpened (140), but under direct order he uses the knife to cut the ropes on the dispatch box (137).
Given the “Running Blood” context, this tool-use seems significant, raising the possibility that the junior officer is an abo klutz: unable to sharpen a knife; unable to use a knife to cut rope; but covered by a masteslave protocol, complete with ritualistic slapping, operatic tears, and supine groveling.
Granted, the officer pens a letter (242–43), but we do not know the quality of his penmanship, and this long after he has admired the pages transcribed in “good clerical script” (164), i.e., written by a human. The officer is able to thread a tape recorder and operate it twice (139, 194), but perhaps the fact that a tape breaks on the second occasion (197) is due to his being a klutz.
“V.R.T.” has a couple of “Poe moments” on Ste. Croix that chill me with the Halloween weirdness that goes on without notice by the junior officer. By themselves these vignettes bring a “back of beyond” feeling from Ste. Anne straight into an urban setting on Ste. Croix, a hint that things are “abo weird” just below the placid surface, but now let us examine both incidents for tell-tale tool use. The first “Poe moment” is when the cemetery cat from Vienne intrudes (151), and the junior officer reaches for his pistol, but the cat leaps away before he can reveal his firearm skill, or lack thereof. The second “Poe moment” is when he notices a black bird has entered the room during his concentration (164), and when he tries to strike it with a broom, he significantly fails, whereupon he lets the bird stay.
If there is an Eloi/Morlock situation on Ste. Croix, then Hagsmith’s Verity, common on Ste. Anne, would be a state secret on Ste. Croix; and this seems to be the case. The plastic replicas of abo stone tools of Ste. Anne (10–11), used in the text to induce a debate between young David and Number Five, are the physical evidence of a lie, a forgery so convincing that neither boy in the debate says that abos cannot use tools. Number Five says the stone tools found are few in number because the abos mainly used non-stone tools like poison and nets (11); whereas David says they are few because their culture was more important to the abos (11–12). The simple, forged evidence of stone tools has effectively blocked off the whole concept of abos being klutzes.
In “The Fifth Head of Cerberus,” Number Five claims Dr. Marsch is an abo, or a half-abo; in “V.R.T.” the public of Ste. Anne believes all the abos were exterminated, so they take such claims of abos and half-abos as a joke. This suggests that on Ste. Anne, Veil’s Hypothesis would be a state secret to be kept from the general public. That is, the Running Blood extermination, whether it is actually true or not, is an essential element to the “common sense” of society on Ste. Anne; just as the faked abo tools are a crucial part of the “common sense” on Ste. Croix.
(As an aside, there is some irony on leadership roles on Ste. Croix: in “The Fifth Head of Cerberus,” Number Four laments his thwarted ambition of being a world leader; in “V.R.T.” it is revealed that at least three of his fifty clones are in the secret police. Seen together, these points suggest that the clone master is like the queen of an ant colony, focused only on the reproduction of tool-capable workers; while other specialized offspring serve as security agents.)
For a final observation, the Eloi/Morlock situation could explain the otherwise inexplicable naming conventions at Port Mimizon: street of sewers; street of maggots (eaters of the dead); street of charlatans (pretenders); the construction of a Cerberus statue (guardian of the dead) for 666 (the number of the beast). These infernal details could be cues of danger left behind by the earliest Morlock humans in an attempt to warn away humans visiting from other worlds.

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Age: 35 Gender: Female Weight: 180lbs Diagnoses: Bipolar 1, OCD, Social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorders, diabetes type 2, insomnia Medications: 300mg Wellbutrin, 250mg Metformin, 10mg Olanzepine
Hello,
I have a variety of mental health issues that I have been suffering with for some time. I have had my anxiety disorders since I was in my 20s and got diagnosed with OCD in my early 30s. The bipolar was diagnosed when I had a severe manic episode after my mom died last August. I was off work (I am a teacher) and tried to go back in December. I had a depressive episode and couldn't function when I came home at night. I had a suicide attempt (overdosed on about 25 Zopiclone 7.5mg) 4 days after I went back to work. When I am teaching I suffer from insomnia on a regular basis because of the stress of the job. My psychiatrist recognizes this and said I am not fit to teach. My family doctor is supportive as well.
I am collecting long-term disability wages now as my case gets figured out with my teacher's insurance. The disability analyst called me yesterday and said numerous things. She said that I taught for 12 years and it doesn't make sense that I have to leave teaching because of my mental illnesses. She said I can teach and that my mental illnesses are treated with medication and therapy. She is getting a psychiatrist to look over my case on their end.
I have always found teaching to be very challenging for me and my mental health has always been significantly impacted by my job. I found the work at home, general stress has always been a problem for me even if I manage my stress. I am terrified of having episodes at work as well. I became very confrontational when I was manic, threatened people with guns, I was suicidal and out of control.
Do I have a case here to not continue working as a teacher? It is my preference to have a life where stress and mental health problems are not so debilitating.
Thank you for your time and advice.

For new members who might not be aware this issue goes back years. Even though many of us on this reddit myself included might have medical knowledge and experience we are not in the proper situation to give medical guidance towards a persons condition.
Random people on a reddit voting up or down on someone's disorder based with only vague information might be well meaning yet ultimately has real world consequences for improper diagnosis.
Intersex is an umbrella term for over 40 conditions some are genetic some are developmental some are hormonal and all can have aspects of other conditions.
Due to the varied and extenstive nature the advice of this reddit has always been seek medical assistance for your condition.
Medical professionals includ but are not limited to: doctors, physician assistants, therapists, psychologists, endocrinologists, social workers, geneticists, urologists and gynecologists.
The fact is with an Intersex condition a total body and mental health survey often needs to be done to lead to the best outcomes.
We just want to ensure that our members have the best health possible.
Additionally we never ask require or even assume someone does or doesn't have a diagnosis that has never been and never will be a factor in who posts or can post.
We are like that because we are aware that it isn't always easy to have a confirmed diagnosis due to barriers to care and many people myself included as a child knew things were odd about my body but only learned later on it was due to being intersex.
Thus we have an honors system if your an ally or interested member be upfront about it. If you're going to talk about your Intersex experience hopefully you're not lying if for some reason it is brought to our attention that you have been disingenuous then a conversation will be had.
We do our best and remember there is over 10,000 people on this reddit and only a few of us to moderate, if something slips just flag it and we will get to it when possible.
I wish you all the best and deeply regret that anyone would feel that rules meant to ensure safe access to healthcare is meant as a way to reject anyone from this reddit.
The goal is always to be as permissive and supportive as possible we need a place that is safe loving and supportive we are doing our best to make this one such place.
Please respect the rules of this reddit in place to ensure safety.

Hi all. I’ve been a lurker here for a few years and have been reading peoples stories to better understand Mormons, their lives and relationships with the church. I’m personal a nonbeliever in any religion, however I work at The Book of Mormon on Broadway.
We received this letter from a fan who found our show to be therapeutic for him as an exmormon. Here is his complete letter (warning it’s kinda long and some of it reads as a review or promotion for the show which is not why I share it, I’m not a backeinvester):
The Play That Changed My Life
By Richard McDonald
I am about to do it.... for the seventy fifth time.
The Book of Mormon on Broadway just celebrated 13 years on the Broadway stage at the Eugene O’Neil Thater and I have seen it seventy-four times....in the last 18 months! The reactions I get when people learn this range from: “What?” to “I think you need to see a therapist.”
Indeed, that is precisely the case. The show serves as a form of therapy for me, particularly since I made the decision in the summer of 2022 to depart from the Mormon Church after being deeply entrenched in its culture and teachings throughout my entire life.
To be frank, I always had a sense that something was not quite right. Yet, I chose to overlook these nagging feelings. I embarked on a mission (ironically in NYC), exchanged vows in the Mormon temple, and at times, I cherished the sense of community fostered by the faith. However, there were too many discrepancies that I could not reconcile. From the ban on Black people holding the Priesthood until 1978, to the myriad issues with church history, the treatment of LGBTQ individuals (I declined to support Prop 8 in California in 2008 and believe I was consequently blacklisted), and the marginalization of women in the church. I often felt very alone in my “liberal Mormon beliefs.”
An important part of my life has been my battle with addiction to prescription drugs. The church's response to my battles with addiction and legal issues resulting from those poor decisions – culminated in a "disciplinary council" which is better described as a “shame session” where you stand before your Mormon leaders to be judged. The result? They suspended my membership privileges so that I could repent. I was still encouraged to tithe during my suspension. Sit in shame but still give money as an act of obedience.
Despite grappling with these experiences, I endeavored to remain within the fold... to no avail. The final tipping point for me occurred in 2022 when I discovered that the church supports the clergy penitent privilege, allowing clergy to withhold information from law enforcement about child neglect or child sexual abuse disclosed during spiritual confessions if they deem it "reasonable and necessary" under church doctrine. I distinctly recall telling myself, "I cannot align myself with a church that prioritizes its image over safeguarding children from neglect and sexual abuse." Remarkably, the other concerns I had previously dismissed now appeared to gain greater significance and credibility.
Yet, losing my faith (the only thing I have ever known) is quite traumatic, especially when I came to the realization that the core belief system that existed in my life for so many years betrayed me on a spiritual level. This led me to question if I could ever trust my own personal judgement again. As I transitioned away from viewing the world through a Mormon lens, I experienced a profound sense of identity loss. The Mormon church had provided me with more than just a belief system; it offered a structured set of values, a supportive social network (if I followed along), and a clear sense of purpose.
As I contemplated life outside of the church, I found myself grappling with uncertainty and fear. Growing up in the Mormon faith instilled in me the belief that my safety and happiness hinged upon my unwavering obedience and loyalty to the church. The teachings emphasized that following the prophet equated to following God himself. Additionally, members were constantly reminded to be wary that Satan wants to take hold of you.
I have come to understand that experiencing mixed feelings is completely normal. Leaving my religion was not just about trauma; it brought about a sense of relief as well. No longer having to reconcile the parts of my belief system that never made sense was liberating for me. Yet-I recognized that I still needed some anchors through this transition, and I found them through an old friend and a Broadway Musical that simply changed my life.
Travis Stratford and I hail from the same town in Southern California and were both brought up in the Mormon Church. Now, we both find ourselves residing in New York City. Travis is a managing partner partner of Case Agency in Soho, and I have always regarded him as one of the smartest individuals I know. During our teenage years, I looked up to him as he was a few years older than me. Despite going our separate ways for 25 years—he served his mission in Sweden, while I served in NYC—our connection was immediate when we reunited. Travis offered me invaluable support and a non-judgmental perspective as a friend. Although Travis left the church in 2014, he never attempted to sway my beliefs in any direction. Instead, he simply listened and offered his insights when needed.
With the support of a close friend and a newfound liberating perspective free from the judgments of Mormonism, I found myself in Midtown Manhattan for a business meeting on 49th Street. As I strolled past the Eugene O’Neill Theater, I could not help but notice the bold letters proclaiming, "The Book of Mormon: The Funniest Musical of All Time!" Wait a minute... funny? I had not even thought about it that way, could it be possible to find humor in this situation? Is laughter an antidote for trauma? Without hesitation, I made my way to the box office and purchased a ticket for that evening's performance. Let me tell you, that night's show changed my life in the most remarkable way. Trey Parker and Matt Stone wrote the Book of Mormon on Broadway, renowned for their work on "South Park," and complemented by the musical prowess of Tony, Oscar, Grammy and Emmy Award winner Robert Lopez, the songwriter behind "Avenue Q and Frozen," The Book of Mormon is directed by the renowned director Casey Nicholaw.
The fascinating thing about "The Book of Mormon" is that even after attending seventy-four performances, I still discover something new each time. It is ironic how the play brilliantly displays the peculiar beliefs of the Mormon religion, which I once considered normal. Concepts like God residing on a planet named Kolob, the Garden of Eden being in Jackson County, Missouri, and that in 1978 God changed his mind about Black people.
But my biggest takeaway from this play? It truly is a beautiful story. A story that will make you laugh so hard and make you think about what matters most. It portrays how individuals from diverse cultures, races, and nations can unite and form a remarkable bond and sense of community. It is a community characterized by acceptance, love, a touch of mischief, and above all, equality.
The play begins with two young Mormon missionaries, two white boys, find themselves paired up and dispatched to Uganda. Kevin Clay delivers a masterful portrayal as Elder Price. If an Osmond and a Romney were to have a love child, it would be Kevin Clay.
As Price longs for a more glamorous locale such as Orlando. His missionary companion, Elder Cunningham, played by Cody Jamison Strand, exudes a sense of enthusiasm, grateful for any assignment he is given. Price and Cunningham’s contrasting emotions of disappointment and eagerness are bundled together as they are sent off to the country of Uganda.
Upon reaching Uganda, they encounter villagers grappling with the harsh realities of AIDS, drought, disease, and oppressive rulers. Despite facing numerous challenges, the villagers find solace in sharing their beloved uplifting song, "Hasa Diga Eebowai." Led by Mafala Hatimbi (the incomparable Jaques Smith), this number is initially reminiscent of something from "The Lion King," the song serves as a symbol of resilience amidst adversity. As life continues to pummel them, this song becomes their source of solace. With their trademark Mormon enthusiasm, Price and Cunningham enthusiastically join in, only to discover the true meaning behind the seemingly uplifting tune - "F--k you, God." It is a jarring introduction to the harsh realities of the world they have entered.
At their shared missionary apartment (which ironically has a sign on the front door that says, “No Soliciting.”) Price and Cunningham meet a spirited group of fellow missionaries, all white boys and led by their district leader Elder McKinley (PJ Adzima), This group of Elders have not achieved much during their time in Uganda - no baptisms, nothing to even close.
However, they do possess one unique asset: their own musical anthem to navigate moments of uncertainty and doubt. "Turn It Off" presents a vibrant and energetic musical piece that humorously explores the Mormon tradition of suppressing emotions and urges. Elder McKinley leads the song, instructing fellow missionaries on the art of "turning off" undesirable feelings through a catchy and engaging chorus. The performance captivates with its visually appealing choreography, prompting toe-tapping and an introduction to our friend “Steve Blade.” Actor PJ Adzima delivers a standout portrayal of Elder McKinley, showcasing impeccable comedic timing and impressive vocal skills that always leave me with just a huge smile.
The narrative unfolds into a love story where Price and Cunningham navigate their own journeys independently. Price attempts to evade his destiny, while Cunningham adopts a more reckless approach to his missionary work. Strand, who portrays Cunningham, displays surprising athleticism (especially in “Man Up”) and non-stop hilarity with every line he delivers. Meanwhile, the villagers grapple with the dilemma and intrigue of embracing the Book of Mormon, as preached by Cunningham and his imagination, while also contending with the daily threats to their survival from General Butt F--k king Naked (Derrick Williams), who wants to control the villagers by threatening violence and performing circumcision on all the women. Williams crushes it with his unforgettable facial expressions and delivers one of the funniest lines at the end of the show.
Meanwhile, at the heart of the Ugandan village stands Nabulungi (portrayed by Kim Exum), a character characterized by her beauty and open-mindedness. Elder Cunningham frequently struggles to recall her name correctly, often referring to her by comical and absurd aliases such as Nissan Altima or Neutrogena. Cunningham puts his own creative spin on the teachings of the Book of Mormon, incorporating elements from various pop culture references like Star Trek and Star Wars. Despite the humorous misunderstandings, Nabulungi demonstrates her willingness to embrace Cunningham's interpretation, leading to her successful “baptism” into the faith. The double entendre number “Baptize Me” (my personal favorite) is the perfect blend of innocence and mischief which demonstrates the beauty of humor and human connection. Through her enthusiasm, Nabulungi helps recruit as many as twenty new converts, solidifying Cunningham's status as a hero among the other Elders which is beautifully celebrated in the number “I am Africa.”
Exum is truly spectacular as Nabulungi with her angelic voice that gives me Whitney Houston vibes (seriously, she is that good) in numbers like "Sal Tlay Ka Siti" and the only truly solemn moment in "Book of Mormon, “Exum presents a poignant reprise of "Hasa Diga Eebowai" that is infused with deep sorrow and disillusionment that just hits perfectly.
The show marches towards the end with memorable musical numbers like “Spooky Mormon Hell Dream,” “I Believe,” and “Joseph Smith, the American Moses.” "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" presents a lively and engaging musical sequence set in hell. This song showcases a cast of demonic figures, from a horned devil to dancing Starbucks cups, and cameos from Genghis Khan, Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler and even Johnny Cochrane. It offers a humorous and irreverent twist on traditional Broadway show tunes. Visually striking, the performance features devilish costumes and makeup, effectively portraying the characters as residents of hell.
One of the standout moments in The Book of Mormon musical is the song "I Believe." In this pivotal scene, Elder Price faces the daunting challenge of confronting General Butt Fu--ing Naked who threatens the Ugandan village. To stop the warlord from perpetuating evil, Elder Price resolves to convert him to Mormonism. As the song unfolds, Elder Price gathers the courage and conviction needed for his mission. Throughout "I Believe," he passionately articulates the core beliefs of Mormonism, aiming to persuade the warlord to embrace his faith. However, the beliefs Elder Price emphasizes become increasingly unconventional and outlandish as the song progresses like the aforementioned “I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about Black people!”
This is Kevin Clay’s signature moment as Elder Price in the production and he delivers every time. Adding to the brilliance of this number is the interaction between Clay and Derrick Williams (The General), they compliment each other seamlessly throughout the number.
"Joseph Smith American Moses" offers a witty and thought-provoking take on the life of Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon church, as interpreted by the Ugandan characters narrated with whimsical charm by Exum. This song is a clever homage to classic musical theater numbers, featuring a lively ensemble of performers who sing and dance their way through Smith's life story, and it is arguably the funniest moment in the show.
The show smoothly transitions into its finale, which I will not spoil but simply describe as "something incredible." However, what truly shines in the heart and soul of the production is its talented supporting cast. This diverse group, led by original cast members John Eric Parker and Lewis Cleale, steals the spotlight at every turn. Parker's commanding presence, both in stature and vocal prowess, is highlighted magnificently in the finale, leaving a lasting impression on the audience. Cleale delivers a remarkable performance, seamlessly portraying multiple roles including Joseph Smith, the Mission President, Elder Price's Dad, and even Jesus Christ himself.
Among the ensemble, Darius Nichols captivates the audience with his comedic brilliance, eliciting laughter with every line he delivers. Stoney Mootoo follows suit, earning chuckles from the audience with her humorous performance and proving her versatility as an exceptional dancer. Mootoo, a native New Yorker advocates for “trusting your gift” on her social media-and her gift shows in the production. Jasmine Richardson delights as Mrs. Brown and Sister Kimbe delivering great enthusiasm and impressive vocal chops of her own. The Mormon missionary ensemble also delivers standout performances, with Henry McGinnis displaying his talent by portraying three distinct characters: a Mormon missionary, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Yoda (his Yoda voice is something to behold). Special mention goes to John Kramer, who wins the award for looking most Mormon and whose portrayal of Elder Pop Tarts steals the spotlight in the memorable number "Turn It Off." And a nod to Daniel Fetter who gives the most amazing “Hello” in the opening number and steps in admirably as an understudy for Elder Price when needed.
What is even more impressive is that the show is evolving. In an article by Michael Paulson from The New York Times, it was reported that "The Book of Mormon," a musical comedy by the creators of "South Park," recently underwent significant revisions prompted by calls from Black members of its cast to reassess its content. The show, originally featuring two white missionaries attempting to convert souls in an Ugandan village facing various challenges, including AIDS and a warlord, was subject to scrutiny for its portrayal of African and Black identities.
The concerns expressed by actors, including Arbender J. Robinson, in a letter to the creative team urged a reconsideration of the show's themes and characters in light of evolving societal perspectives. This initiative reflects a broader trend in the theater industry, where productions are revisiting their content mid-run to address issues of race and representation.
The revisions made to "The Book of Mormon" included elevating the main Black female character Nabulungi and refining the satire to avoid reinforcing stereotypes. Changes ranged from subtle adjustments to more overt alterations, such as giving the Ugandan villagers greater agency and removing jokes that could be construed as culturally insensitive. For instance, a scene involving a typewriter was replaced with one featuring an iPad, shifting the focus from the character's perceived lack of sophistication to a commentary on the pitfalls of social media. According to Derrick Williams, a cast member since 2014 who also supported the revisions, there is a delicate balance between satire and offensiveness that must be maintained. The changes made throughout the show aim to sharpen the satire of Mormonism while placing Uganda and its inhabitants at the forefront of the narrative.
The revisions to "The Book of Mormon" reflect a broader industry-wide effort to address concerns about representation and cultural sensitivity, acknowledging the evolving social landscape and the responsibility of artists to engage with these issues thoughtfully and respectfully. What is important to recognize here is that the show changed....in a good way. The Mormon Church might want to adopt this same way of thinking by acknowledging their past mistakes by simply stating: “We’re sorry and we will fix it.”
However, at its core, the show is a musical comedy that does not claim to offer definitive solutions to these complex issues. Nonetheless, these criticisms pale in comparison to what the play truly is and that is a beautiful love story by the best performers in the industry.
The exceptional performances in the show function as a balm for my spirit. With each burst of laughter and every catchy melody, I find solace from my past Mormon experiences. I have moments of clarity where I realize that this story depicts a journey from defiance towards God to gratitude, as reflected in the powerful refrain: "Thank you God Ma'hanibu eebowai!" It sends shivers down my spine every time.
I invite all of you to come to the Eugene O’Neil Theater and witness a play that is a testament to the transformative power of unity and acceptance, as individuals from diverse backgrounds come together and learn to love and embrace each other despite what the world and other religions say. Oh yeah, you will laugh too...a lot. And what do “I believe” now? ... My code of conduct today is quite simplistic; I never have the right to hurt another human being. The question I ask myself with each new day is, do I have a good heart, and do I do what I do with love and with compassion? I feel free now, free from the box, free from believing that I am right and that everyone else is wrong.
I believe in being a decent human being. I believe in joy; I believe in laughter, and I believe in the power of the human spirit. Everything else, I will figure out tomorrow... because tomorrow is a latter day. And no.... I do not have maggots in my scrotum. Richard McDonald is the Chief Strategy Officer for EGXFuels, a green energy company. Richard resides in the Upper East Side of Manhattan with his daughter, Emma. They attend The Book of Mormon often.

So my husband has PTSD/TBI and recently on full disability. I am actually a clinical social worker although my day to day is in program administration. I also have ADHD and it has gotten significantly more impactful for me in recent years for reasons not totally relevant here. I’ve always told him I am not his social worker and while I definitely use those social work skills at home it really doesn’t translate too well when it’s a loved one whose situation you are also personally involved with and impacted by. Over the past few years I’ve given up so much of myself to take care of him and also needed to push myself into a position at work that I am not happy with and super burnt out from but was necessary to keep the household afloat when he had to stop working. He had also been trying to get into a business venture, and while I know he is great at it, it’s risky and I’ve had some concerns because there are a number of things out of our control and he did not make contingency plans, despite me pushing for that months ago. Not to mention his inability to deal with adversity. Now there are some set backs and he cannot handle it and doesn’t have the capacity to figure out what is needed to be done next. I know I told you so is never helpful and I’ve been fiercely supportive despite my concerns all along. So that’s not where I am headed-just feelings that are coming up for me that I’m keeping to myself(and Reddit I guess) My main concern is him right now for 2 days I’ve been extremely concerned he might hurt himself. Every action of his is done with anger and is self destructive or destructive to our house. I’ve taken off work to be with him made sure food was always available even though it gets thrown away. Trying not to personalize his anger but when I am the only one around and everything is yelling I don’t know what to do besides just stop talking. I find myself also shutting down. He has medication but he’s very against taking it - he used to take it in a crisis but not anymore. If I take him to the hospital they’ll just force the meds on him and I don’t think he meets any involuntary status yet and would prefer not to do that-hospitals can also trigger some of his PTSD. I’m walking on eggshells because nothing is helping and I want to throw up every door that gets slammed or item that gets thrown around the house literally constantly for the past two days. I am worried about leaving him tomorrow but have to go back to work, especially when everything really is dependent on my income now and we may be suffering a big loss with this business stuff. It’s wild that I am at such a loss here and just at the point of trying to make sure he is safe but also staying quiet to not inflame anything more and that’s from someone that has at least some training in this. I can’t imagine what it must be like when a loved one is going through this and there is little to no understanding of mental illness. I don’t know the purpose of my post and so much is left out and I’m kind of all over the place here I just really needed to vent — I also didn’t mention this is the one week my therapist is on vacation and my husband of course has not gone back to therapy in years since his last therapist resigned- believe me I’ve tried. I just hope he is okay and hoping to get some relief