Hi all to preface this is discord drama that is the equivalent of being told you're worthless.
I, 24M, have been dealing with this since yesterday. Two users (mods, both 18+, not too sure about their age roughly my age) started to criticize me over things that I said, to the point they started to drive really hurtful things down against me, and as someone with Autism, I can't quite process the things they're saying to me, and I broke down this morning.
It all started yesterday, when I posted saying the owner of this server (who has an internet community, and makes music, would finally surpass 1.5 million streams on a song. User 1, a discord moderator of this group, said it already has. I half joked (which they didn't receive well), saying the following, "I may or may not have reached out to my social media audience (I also make music and run a local radio station's jazz program) for some help getting there."
User 1: "Somehow I highly doubt that made any perceivable difference outside of the standard trend unless you are hiding 100k followers in a magic hat or something." That hurt.
Me: Whatever dude. Even if 1 person clicked on the link, I wanted to help get there since she expressed interest in hitting 1.5 million. Why are you downplaying everything I do? Or negatively criticizing my choice of words?
User 1: 100% choice of words, Here you try to down play its always appreciated to share the music with others, but the way its worded here implys a humble brag that you were the reason it reached that number or at the very least a large part in that.
I understood where he was coming from, but his choice of words didn't help me there. It seemed to me that he was putting his foot down saying me and my audience don't make a difference.
User 2 joins in and says the following:
User 2: My favourite thing is watching people not pick up on your jokes. And just automatically assume you're an asshole.
Me: Didn't appear to be humorous to me. I guess I must add a gif to express emotion.
User 2: Nah he doesn't have to express emotion for you to see his jokes lolol
Me: I suppose I must, otherwise I get criticized by someone I'll never meet.
User 2: I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about User 1.
User 2: Everyone I've ever talked to about him always asks me why he's an asshole when most don't even bother to get to know him not my fault y'all can't put in the effort to understand his humour or how he expresses himself.
Inbetween this eruption and this point, I wrote a message congratulating the owner on surpassing 1.5 million streams. I intended to mean well with my message but it went out like this:
Me: 1.5 million streams on Song Owner!!! So incredible to see how what started as me watching funny TikTok videos became watching a fully fledged musician. Super happy for you, congrats!
User 1: I mean thats kind of dismissive, the music came first and has always been the main goal I understand the underlying compliment you are going for, but it comes off weird how you describe the journey in that way as if Owner was not a fully fledged musician before this?
Me: Your interpretation is it’s dismissive and weird, because I worded it in the way that I found her videos before I found her music.
User 2: You worded it as an absolute rather than an objective experience you had such as "Incredible that I found your tiktok videos and learnt you were an amazing musician" there is plenty of other ways you could have worded it, but the first interpretation that jumps out from the words used is that is was a linear transition from the videos into finally becoming a musician. (not quite what I said, but go ahead)
Me: My bad.
User 2: Everyday I wake up in Ohio.
So that happened. I objectified what the person was saying, and that I didn't word it right.
Then this happened. I bought Yeezy Pods back in February, and wanted to express how cool they were. This is what unfolded. God I hate this part the most, because it was so out of left field and so hurtful, being Jewish myself.
Me: My Yeezy Pods showed up. They are fucking sick.
User 3 (will be all users not associated with the core drama, just other users): 🤨
User 2: Ew
User 3: Interesting.
User 2: "I guess we see who loves antisemitism now." WHAT (they change my server name to Antisemite)
User 3: the only thing sick about yeezy pods is how i be throwing up lookin at em
User 2: *funny gif*
Me: *Curtis Payne you a hater gif (can't link it)* in all honesty, it's better to love something than to hate it. not a supporter of antisemitism, i was kidding.
User 3: Funny joke hahahahhahahaah yeah no. Muppet
Me: Yall got pressed over shoes. Crazy world we live in.
User 2: Yes because I'm actually pressed. Crazy how people just assume things all the time. Womp womp.
Me: the immediate response, no tag necessary. (they responded immediately)
User 2: OMG I'm on Discord.
Me: #chronicallyonline, kidding of course.
User 2: You're the one who changed your name. (back to my original name) Who's pressed now?
Me: The joke is over.
User 3: Bro at least have the balls to remove the joking lmao
User 2: I got the chronicallyonlinebitches tag for a reason.
Me: (responding to User 3) Can’t, every one gets triggered if I don’t add intent to the messages I send. (I was fuming at this point, very hurt and my perspective of Owner and their community was permanently changed).
User 3: Nah cus lowkey itd be funnier if you weren’t joking at least then you’d have grown a pair.
Me: I may misword something that they disagree with, and they’ll use that to their advantage to assert their dominance over me in the argument. (I intentionally placed 'dominance' to indirectly prove my point about miswording things).
User 3: Bro no one gives a shit about dominance.
User 2: Image saying: "things an unfuckable douche canoe says"
Me: Why are you calling me a douche canoe?
User 2: Omg you think I'm dominant? I'm riding that high for the next week. And this toke I'm about to take.
Me: go for it. I wasn’t talking about you.
User 2: I'm gonna anyway. Already beating my shmeat. Tho if you're talking about User 1, hes gonna waste that high. He's autistic and doesn't find joy in it. 😂😂😂 I wonder if I fumble my sentences he'll use it too.
I broke at this point, I sought vengeance and took no prisoners.
Me: I was talking about User 1. I shared Owners song, said I did in here, User said that I didn’t make a difference. I put a message in Owner's letter channel saying something “From tiktok videos to being a fully fledged musician” and congratulating Owner on reaching 1.5m streams on the song she made. User 1 called that message dismissive and said I wasn’t considering Owner was always a musician. I started out watching Owner for non-musician tiktoks then Owner started making (publishing) music. I hate having to make long overdrawn statements like these, but since you guys are fucking with me, I’d 🤓 too.
User 2: I mean she was a musician first? I don't see what's dominating about that statement. *gif of wall of text*
Me: I misworded it. I used to watch the non-musician tiktoks first before I listened to her music. (didn't misword it, see the wall I posted above.) I can’t misword anything without a discord mod saying umm actually.
User 2: Because you're expressing incorrect information otherwise. You saying Owner did TikTok before her music would throw off others, especially the younger ones who don't fact check. Two it discredits Owner's work prior to "blowing" up on TikTok. Just because it's your perception of events doesn't mean it's the truth. You expressed it as if it was such, Owner's TikTok came first then the music, which isn't the case. People are allowed to correct others and at least two people who have corrected you on things AREN'T mods. You aren't the only one being corrected on misinformation or being an ass.
Me: This whole thing could’ve been dismissed entirely by understanding that’s not the intention I intend to express, both the Yeezy Pods and congratulating Owner on Song. Now I tread carefully here in particular because you guys ruined my whole perspective on this community. What you call misinformation, was me trying to say from making tiktoks to publishing music, I’m proud of where Owner's gotten. I’m sorry, but wouldn’t you react similarly to how you treated me? I'd get fucking banned I fear.
User 3: But the point is Owner was making music before tiktok.
Me: great, you got your point across. I don’t even feel comfortable saying anything here anymore.
User 2: No because I'd realize I'm doing something if I'm being talked to? And yeah I'm gonna be fuckin grossed out you're buying Yeezy? He's a fuckin antisemitic piece of shit??? Why would you support his shit??? That's weird af. I'm allowed to have opinions on brands and shit? User 2 forbid I have an opinion on a terrible person and their brand.
Me: I bought them because they were $20.
User 2: User 3, I guess you'll have to publicly execute me for my crimes of opinion. IDC if they're free?
Me: If you have nothing nice to say to the person, don’t say it.
User 2: It's still supporting his brand one way or another and that's weird af. Womp womp.
Me: I could express my opinion on each of you and get fucking blasted into the sun over expressing my opinion if you disagreed with it. The rules are one sided then.
User 2: Idc if you blast your opinions about me. I myself aren't gonna ban your ass over it. I'm not sensitive about shit people say about me. Also I didn't call you antisemitic I said you love it (why the name change then?) Two different things. I have not expressed my opinions of you at all, nor will I. It's not my fault you can't handle some things being said. Maybe say you have triggers or traumas with it and people would slow down? (ironic)
Me: However, quite the contrary to popular belief, these two instances of communal discourse, do not reflect any changes on my opinion towards you folks. (me trying to divert the hate against me for buying $20 shoes. User 2 changed my name back to "Antisemite", I changed it back immediately.)
Me: responding to User 2's last sentence: They never have and never will. They claim I’m bullshitting them, to be weaponizing my traumas against them in an argument.
Do I have to release my medical documents /s where I was abused throughout my childhood which permanently affected the course of my development, so making music and confiding in someone of popular culture would be therapeutic? (sarcastic about the documents, although I wasn't for a time, but that was a long time ago in a different instance)
User 2: Dammit you shit on the carpet
Me: It never ends.
User 2: No one wants your fuckin medical documents first of all (missed the /s i appended after medical documents I see...)
Me: So I'll just shut the fuck up.
User 2: Second of all don't weaponize your traumas for the sake of this argument. (I thought I could express that I'm sensitive to these interactions, and that they'd slow down, but point proven again, it's bullshit to them.)
Me: I “love antisemitism” and I spread “misinformation”. I’ll never express a personal view nor opinion on anything ever again.
User 3: i mean most antisemites will also say "im just joking" when they say something like that.
Me: If I say an unbiased statement about anything and receive backlash from it, I will not respond with emotion.
User 2: Yet User 1 is expected to say he's being sarcastic or joking to spare your feelings? Seems unfair. You come at him for a half joke because YOU can't tell and now you expect people to not do the same?
Me: Regardless of if you claim I’m suppressing your opinions, or weaponizing my traumas for the sake of this argument, after being told it might trigger me, so people would slow down.
User 2: You specifically throwing out what was done. You could've been vague. You could've said literally anything else. Going into specifics is just going to upset people. Especially since this in GENERAL.
Me: Expressing your opinion or views of another person where it hurts others isn’t necessarily something to say to everyone.
User 2: Not the place to dump the laundry.
Me: Not the place to claim someone loves antisemitism either User 2. Or say me sharing a song made no impact User 1.
User 2: Uh yes it is? It's a general topic taught between the ages of 10 and 18.
User 3: when you literally make the statement? you placed it in the domain of conversation?
User 2: User 1 didn't say it didn't make an impact.
Me: It was nice mod, who saved the day and clarified that it made a difference to share it. regardless of how many people came to heed the call (785 people to be precise heeded the call. didn't say that last part at any point.)
User 2: Once again User 1 didn't say it didn't?
Me: I’m not replying anymore. I’m not able to get my point across.
User 2: User 1 I guess to appease the court we have to publicly execute you on the grounds of *looks at tiny paper* Specifications. (User 1 appeared from the shadows and started typing)
Me: “any perceivable difference” his words. done. (I haven't replied since.)
User 3: I stg half the time I come in here theres beef and I cant tell if its satire or not.
User 2: I know User 1's words? Idk anymore I'm too high for this.
User 3: That's gonna be me in like 20 mins
User 2: You date a man 2+ years, bear his furchildren and people think you don't know him, his words or his feelings.
User 3: skill issue.
USER 1 APPEARS REPLYING TO "any perceivable difference"
Exactly my words, in response directly to your words about beg hitting 1.5 million and how you used your social media to "play a hand in it" ("for some help" but sure put words in my mouth to direct your 'dominance') your words mate, I made a critique on the nature of your comment and the words used based entirely around the meaning and context of both that message and the dear Owner one. The words used make you sound like a self agrandizing prick with an ego the size of a collapsing star and and your pride consisting of a similar density. I would hope I was entirely wrong about the intent of the messages you sent because otherwise it builds a character perception of you that ain't all that flattering. You do you bud but just as I get critique for the way I phrase things as being insensitive you will get criticism over the way your words paint a story of an event. (How was it in any way that I'd get blasted into the fucking sun over this?)
Oops way too long
User 2: Damn User 1 hit the second tower (I'm from New York, it's in my bio on Discord). Now it's funnier.
User 3: lmaaaaoooo
User 2: Long and the short of it, grow a pair and word things better like everyone else has to, or chew rocks and realise people form an opinion of you from shit like that, and then deciding to announce you support a controversial figures shit incidentally or not feeds into that personality. Me I don't hate you by any stretch but it's harder and harder to take you seriously.
Now this is all here. I haven't replied, and will not reply anymore in this community unless I'm directly contacting the Owner through the server. I'm exhausted and the day just got started. Gonna go to sunday service with my friend's family since I care about them more than this whole situation. I'm emotionally destroyed. They treated me nicely, complimenting my music and my contributions to support Owner in their endeavors, however, clamped down because I'm an antisemite over buying Yeezy Pods, and I spread misinformation because I misworded/failed to properly display my intentions, and got snapped on over sarcastically pointing out that nobody else does.
Redditors I apologize that it's even got to this point, but AITA? I think I am after what they've said to me, I am typically one to follow the herd because it leads to less interpersonal conflict.

Just got out of college with an on campus offer at an well established firm that pays decently well but I still can't get it of my chest.
It started 2 years ago during my 3rd year of undergrad where we all started our internship hunt. Days went by and I wasn't able to crack any on campus companies at all, i was mentally deprived, depressed but i just kept pushing myself through. 3 months of endless grind later, one day I went till the final rounds of 2 companies, one which I had no idea about and one was a dream company that I was under confident about getting through.
On the same day, around 8pm, i got a message from a friend, "Congrats, where are we going dinner for tonight". I opened up the placement group and I was elated to see my name as one of the selects, but I didn't feel fulfilled. My friends came rushing to my dorm room and dragged me to go get drinks to celebrate the night, all I wanted at that moment was peace.
A day later, one of my batchmate who also went till the final round of the dream company messaged, "Congrats, so which one are you choosing to intern at". I had no idea I got into both the companies.
Our college has a one company one offer policy. I can't believe I didn't pull myself through to atleast go and enquire regarding the chances of getting that dream company offer back. I feel like I took it like a b****. I cannot accept how easily I let it go. I was not confident in myself, and I somehow just accepted my fate without even trying.
Everyday I keep dreaming about how my career could have taken off if only I had the balls to go and talk about getting that offer back with my placement cell. Somewhere deep inside i feel like I could have made it happen, but I decided to not do anything about it. I have only told about this to my gf and parents and all they keep saying is be glad you have a job during such tough times. I don't know how I'm gonna console myself any further.
Fight for things you put your effort into. Maybe it could work, but at least you tried.
I didn't even try.

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

Happy June!
Before we get into this month’s prompt, here's a few announcements for your pleasure and enjoyment:
ANNOUNCEMENTS

• Big thank you to those who helped flag rule breaking posts this month! We're still seeing troll posts and appreciate everyone's help keeping an eye out for posts that don't fit the sub.
• We are continuing to remove most posts about gratuitous sexual violence as per Rule 7: Overused Tropes.
• We're also removing stories that use spoiler tags, spoiler marks, or irrelevant NSFW tags, as these constitute formatting gimmicks, again as per Rule 7.
• Obvious💩-posters will be permabanned! Read more here.
• Lastly, be familiar with our Three Strikes and you're out rule-- trolling or sexualizing minors will typically get you a strike. If you earn a 🔴, it will take 60 days of chill to clean it up. Read more here.

JUNE 2024 Contest Prompt

For those in the Northern Hemisphere June holds the Summer Solstice, where the night is at its shortest. Dusk is pushed back and the dawn comes early-- all that daylight seems to invite every manner of celebration.
Weddings, reunions, and parties in general all see an uptick this time of year and of course: those who've completed their study programs celebrate their graduation.
And there's our theme and our prompt for this month's contest:
graduation
You may use reasonable variations of the word (ex: graduates, grads, graduated, etc). While the theme refers to graduation in the academic sense, we'll also accept definitions relating to metrics (graduated income tax, graduated cylinders, etc).
This theme is less flexible than last month's, so we anticipate a more difficult challenge and wish everyone the best of luck!
PS: Congrats and job well done to anyone graduating this month :)
Of course, entries will always be weighed against sub rules!
Properly formatted June 2024 examples:
[JUN24] I chose this month's prompt to brag about my upcoming graduation from murder school! By the end of this month I'll have a bachelors degree in killing!
[jun24] This is the first sentence. Please don't let that distract you from the fact that this month I'm graduating from murder school!
Improperly formatted examples:
[june2024] The 'e' in June and the '20' in 2024 make this a doubly incorrect tag. I'm afraid this shameful error will cast a negative light on my graduation from murder school.
[JUN24] This time the tag is right. But I forgot to include the prompt because I'm so overtired from all the hours I put into the lab practical in Killing 101.
June 2024 Contest Rules

• Submissions that are improperly formatted, do not fit the theme, or break any of the existing sub rules will be disqualified and removed.
• The top 10 highest-voted stories will be the winners!
• Winners can only place in the top 10 once. The highest of the entries will be their winner.
• Only net new stories will be allowed (no repurposing old stories you've previously submitted).
• Max three stories per day as a general rule, and all three can be used towards the contest.
• Winners will be decided by total community upvotes. In the unlikely event of a tie for the top spots, moderators will vote for a tiebreaker.

WINNERS WILL RECEIVE:
1st, 2nd, and 3rd Places: You receive a custom personal flair of your choosing to show off to the TSH community! (If you're a repeat winner, you can modify your flair.... but that's it.) And a cool fancy flair on your winning stories.
7 honorable mentions: you'll get visibility and bragging rights! Story links will be featured on next month’s announcement.
Contest ends on June 30, 2024 @ 11:59pm (GMT)
Any questions should be made below in the comments, within our discord, or a note on modmail.
Lots of great stories this month, congrats to May's winners in the comments below!

I'm a 21 year old female. My friendships with people are normally the type where if we don't talk for long periods of time it doesn't affect our friendship. I'm Pakistani and in our culture our parents tend to be a bit stricter so l don't have the typical routine of meeting friends every week or even every month. This is mainly due to the fact that our parents value the education side of our life a lot more than our social life, yes this can be depressing. But with the friends l've made this hasn't been an issue at all. That was until a few months ago.
Me and my best friend have been friends since year 9, I'm now In my third year of uni so it's been around 7 years of friendship. I actually got admission to a different college than my best friend so after year 11 we did not attend the same school. As much as it made me anxious for our friendship, it didn't impact our friendship at all. For around 2-3 years we only met up three times, and in terms of messaging each other we messaged every 2 months or so. However this increased to 4 months and then 8 until a whole year had passed. However regardless of how long it had been whenever we had messaged in the past it had always been normal and we would tell each other how we were, any gossip, life updates etc so I didn't actually think the talking gap was a problem. It was a two way communication, as in sometimes l'd be the first to reach out and sometimes she would be the first to reach out. The last we met was July 2022 and we had an amazing day out at Brighton beach. After that we messaged here and there every 4 months with the last message being March 2023. My second year of uni was very busy and hectic with a lot of assignments and deadlines hence the gap in messaging but this in no way is an excuse. So recently I messaged my friend January of this month. And normally we respond to each other instantly so when I didn't get a reply it did feel weird regardless of how long it had been. When a week had gone by with no reply I reached out to another mutual friend and asked her how my friend was and whether she knew why she wasn't responding to me, but my friend told me that she was probably busy and it's probably nothing. The same day my best friend replied to me saying 'hi sorry Ive been busy with uni and things. This was a weird reply from her, and that was the last message I got from her. I just replied saying that that's fine and she shouldn't worry, and she should rest and not stress and then when she's free we should catch up. I however did not receive a reply to this. In May it had been a few months with no replies. She posted a story indicating that she had finally finished her uni, and I replied saying congrats x, Even to this I did not receive a reply. At that point I got stressed because I have never been the type to make a lot of friends and I do value the friends that I do make. So when she was clearly distant from me I started overthinking and blaming myself for being a bad friend. For weeks I was overthinking and constantly tearing up to the thought of having lost a friend. During this time I wrote my best friend a long paragraph basically asking her to please let me know what l've done to make her upset, and saying how it was definetly my fault and that I apologise for not being a great friend. I will attach the screenshots of the messages. I also messaged her on Instagram as she seemed to be active on there a lot. I still did not receive a reply. I beat myself over this a lot, and as weeks went on I accepted that I did whatever I could from my end to mend this and that if it was not mendable then it wasn't completely my fault. I came to the realisation that yes I hadn't reached out to her for a year but she didn't as well, so we were both at fault and that there was nothing I could do. One random day she reacted to my BeReal with a heart, and the same day she deleted my contact on both her phone and BeReal so this confused me a lot (I could no longer see her WhatsApp profile pic and about indicating she had definetly deleted my number). She had also added on her Instagram note the song " I didn't change my number". Which has the lyrics "I didn't change my number, I only changed who I reply to". When she wasn't replying to my messages before I was concerned about her and if she was doing fine, but after this I found it bizarre and childish tbh. I still haven't gotten a single reply and tbh I don't expect one and even if I get a reply now I have decided that I will happily reply and keep no grudges but I don't think I would even want to continue this friendship as I need to prioritise my mental health as well, as the sudden distance had really affected me mentally. Am I the asshole and is her reaction to this situation reasonable?
P.s. it doesn't let me attach any images, if anyone would like to see the screenshots then I will happily send them to you.

Hopefully Dan reads this or a fan can point me to a convention/event (or fan email or elsewhere) so I can bring up this bit of history.
Growing up the story of the robot mafia gang "La Cosa Nostroid" and Scud were both my favorite comics combined. I was so thankful when Rob decided to finish the Scud story around 15+ years ago after a nearly 10 year hiatus. I wanted try and message him asking: How would you all considering ending (wrapping up) the La Cosa Nostroid comic?
The last issue ends on a crazy cliffhanger of Merendino checking on Alice before looking up to lock eyes with Tony Tastey. Was Dan considering it to go down in a blaze of glory and they all kill each other? Or maybe something else? Tony's got too much ego and it would be sad (in some ways) for him to be killed off but we all know Merendino is an absolute badass assassin.
I was just hoping to get some insight into his thoughts on how it would end and wrap up because it's a bummer the last comic was left hanging where it's been all this time. Also I wanted to thank him for writing an awesome comic that I grew up with, and congrats him on all his success since then (Community, Rick and Morty, etc.).

Here's a big fat receipt that should be added to the archive, I pulled an all-nighter compiling this into one post. Major credit goes to the vigilant members of this sub & the great information I was able to scour through .
Congrats on identifying Drake's bad behavior with women. I was unsure about the best way to present this because it requires some delicacy & subtlety. During one of my recent deep dives for another piece, I discovered something quite unsettling. I'm aware that there will be a lot of criticism to my post, but I had to say it. People will tell me it's nothing, but Drake's actions speak for themselves.
Before jumping in, I don’tunderstand why this behaviour is getting unchecked. My narrative is completely alleged & all of this is public information.
Let's start from the beginning shall we…
May, 2010: Drake calls a girl on stage fondles the girl and kisses her neck and the crowd cheers along with it. In his defense, he doesn't ask the girl her age but how does it make it any better. He still fondled her without asking for consent in front of a crowd of people.
When the girl tells him that she's only 17 he tries to remedy the situation by saying "how the hell she looks like this" and "you thick". He jokes he can't go to jail and the crowd cheers along with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp5b9dW1nrA
If this was the only time that Drake did something like this, I would have called it an honest mistake but sadly it's not it.
Year 2016: https://mtonews.com/drake-groomed-hailey-baldwin-at-age-14-then-started-dating-her-at-18
Drake knows Hailey Bieber(nee Baldwin) when she was 14 years old and has been a "good friend" to her. They know each other 'cause Hailey is bestfriends with Kendall and Kylie.
In 2016, Hailey was just nineteen where as Drake was twenty-nine. It's legal but here is the deal. Drake knows her since she was fourteen and Drake is good friends with Justin Bieber, Hailey's then ex boyfriend. Him going after Hailey immediately after her breakup with Justin makes zero sense, ethics wise.https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/drake-is-pursuing-hailey-baldwin-w20858I mean why would someone go after his friends ex who's 10 years his junior?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-90gjG044IQ
Drake also got himself a similar "h" charm necklace that Hailey had a penchant for wearing. Ignore Justin in the background for a second and here it is. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/V_91WJgGVQw
Year 2018: Drake and Bella Harris met when she was sixteen. Her dad's a famous producer. https://www.kanyetothe.com/threads/drake-and-bella-harris-timeline.8088605/
When she turned eighteen Drake rented an entire restaurant for her birthday. Um what? I get that they can be friends but she's just 18 and he's 31. https://www.eonline.com/news/968171/drake-and-rumored-girlfriend-bella-harris-enjoy-intimate-dinner https://www.wmagazine.com/story/bella-harris-who-is-drake-girlfriend
Also, in 2018 Drake went after the weeknd's then ex girlfriend Bella Hadid. Abel and Drake have been mates and collaborates since 2010. Drake helped Abel to step in the spotlight while Abel helped with writing Drake's album, Take care and also lend his vocals.
After her split from the weeknd and around 2018, Drake threw Bella her 21st birthday party. Looks like drizzy really likes throwing birthday parties. https://www.elle.com/culture/music/a21999080/drake-bella-hadid-romance-references-in-finesse-lyrics/
Take note that this has happened two times where Drake has gone for his mates exes and I know Hollywood's chill with it but this just feels emotionally predatory. It's not like he doesn't know these girls, he knows them since they were teens. It's not random.
Year 2019: Billie Eilish defends her texting Drake. Drake's 33 and she's just 18. She even comments that Drake's at a level that he doesn't need to be nice to her but that's a whole different level of power imbalance. https://www.buzzfeed.com/terrycartebillie-eilish-revealed-that-drake-texts-her-creepy
Maybe I'm reaching and they are artists and Drake is interested artistically and helps her with the industry but it just weird.
Millie Bobby Brown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYZPKh74Li8
I can't with this interaction. For one second I was ready to ignore all of the above but this? A 33 year old texting a 13 year old girl that he misses her? and talks about boys? Tf is wrong with people justifying this? People are saying it's innocent but she was 13 and I don't think any grown man should be talking about these things with a 15 year old. Also, Millie posting this https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2018/09/210592/millie-bobby-brown-defends-friendship-with-drake
There is also this thing with Drake and the Kar-jenners and I don't know what to think: https://people.com/tv/kylie-jenner-drake-spending-romantic-time-togethe
https://twitter.com/WizMonifaaa/status/1467919407095681028/photo/4
https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.56014/title.drake-does-damage-control-after-referring-to-kylie-jenner-as-a-side-piece-on-old-song
Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWX-I6n-AQg
I wonder why no one is calling this out in light of the overall situation. Do other people observe this too but are they ignoring it? or am I overanalyzing this? I'm honestly not sure if this is predatory behavior at this point or if something is being misinterpreted since Drake is in the spotlight. Drake is a wealthy man, so what is going on with his management? If all that is occurring is coincidental and benign, then why are they allowing this to happen? To be honest, I'm not sure about it. I just wonder what Drake is doing with all these horrible stories coming out of the industry. The narrative around him changed over night it seems even though a lot of this has been known, but many just turned the other cheek.
Taking Drake down is just cutting out one head from hydra & another will likely take his place but what it WILL do is send a message to the higher ups that we aren’t slow & it’s just a matter of time until the truth comes out & people will have to face the music.

The guy doesn’t have any listings and the account is made in 2024 should I consider this or is this a sketchy situation

I’d like to commend my therapist (50+F) for knowing the right emojis to describe my giddiness. Even I (24F) didn’t know the use of those cartwheel emojis. 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

Dear A2C,
Washed up college kid here. This post has been a long time in the making. Like many of you, I was an aspiring top college admit last spring. Look at my post history, and you will see the ramblings of a young man infatuated with the idea of Ivy greatness and T20 prestige. Exactly one year ago, those dreams were pretty much crushed by a brutal application season which left me feeling disappointed, lost, and utterly dehumanized. There may be some of you reading this who are where I was, and I'm here to tell you that it'll all work out. For those of you who did get in somewhere great, maybe your dream school, congrats! Really, it doesn't matter what your school gives to you as long as you are bringing your authentic self to your school, whether that be the best college in the nation or your local community college.
Looking back, it's insane to think how much the college application process embittered me. It made me utterly ungrateful for my supportive friends and teachers, the God-given talents that I had gained throughout high school, and my wonderful family. The fact that I hadn't gotten things my way prevented me from enjoying my graduation and my admittedly wonderful life because my mind couldn't stop with the "It could be better than this," mentality. If this is you right now, just stop it - as cliche as it may sound, you will go where you are meant to go because if you are a high enough achiever to be stalking this subreddit, you are not the type of person who should be shaped by an institution. You are someone who should be making a real impact at the school you inhabit, no matter which one it is.
What do I mean by this? Well, I ended up going to a safety - a school this sub would consider C-tier at most. I was still ungrateful - I wanted to transfer. Still, I put in a good effort, and amazing things have come out of it. In just my freshman year, I have been able to serve in executive roles on our student government, partner with a local nonprofit for veterans, sing in an incredibly competitive & talented choir, qualify for scholarships through ROTC, fully integrate with a thriving school & military community, have fun on the side, and do it all while maintaining a 4.0 GPA as a declared Econ major on a BS to MA path. I channeled the resolve and anger I had cultivated during the admission process, and over time I saw my bitterness transform into a wonder & appreciation for the amazing opportunities and experiences that have changed my life & introduced me to special and new friends. I don’t have to deal with a polarized political landscape and invasive protests, and countless other random things have made life so undeservedly awesome. I have a clear route towards starting a career in the military, and I have the freedom to chase the passions I developed in high school, liberated from the motive of doing extracurriculars for a looming admissions cycle. My prideful thoughts of transferring colleges are gone, replaced with a drive to succeed where I'm at. The forced cutting out of college from my identity has in a short time given me the ability to do well no matter the place. Something my mom mentioned recently as we talked over the school year was "Jon, the place hasn't made you special - you are making it special." There's something powerful and meaningful in that, much more than in simply going somewhere for the namesake of the place.
So, I'm not telling you all this just to brag. Not that it matters to anyone but me - the college I attend is and will continue to be "mid," by this sub's standards. What I am saying is that even more than myself, I know you all have it in you to free yourselves from a negative mindset and succeed no matter where you go if you actively seek outlets to exercise your strengths. Hell, you might even have a harder time in competitive schools where everyone is good at everything. Really though, college is not and should not be an end goal, but rather a continuation of the dedication and work ethic you have cultivated in high school. Which college you attend is less an indicator of your aptitude as a human being and more a change in scenery that amplifies what gifts, talents, and strengths you already possess. My prayer for you all is that this message encourages you to continue being authentic, beautiful individuals.
I haven't read any posts on this sub in 1+ years, so I have no idea how this will be received. Thank you for sitting through basically a glorified yapfest journal entry. I hope this community is at least minimally helped by posts like this. Best of luck everyone and enjoy your summers.

Ready for the ride!! I’ve been married for just under a year and still traumatised by the girl drama I got into with my bridesmaids. 1. Red flag no.1 came wayyy before the wedding, my husband now (then boyfriend) planned to propose for me and asked his best friend and cousin for help. He wanted it to be an intimate moment so did not tell too many people. Let’s call this bridesmaid ‘A’… so I posted pictures of the proposal on Instagram that evening and was enjoying my evening and excited about what just happened. ‘A’ was my best friend for 18 years, and did not contact me until 2 days later, but not with the expected ‘omg congrats’ message it was more of a “why was I not invited to this how can you do this without me”. Keep in mind it was a SURPRISE for me and I did not arrange it. So it went back and forth for a while and I realised how upset she was and apologies on behalf of my fiancé, coming up with the excuse he was overwhelmed and probably didn’t realise she would have wanted to be there. I offered her the role of my maid of honour just to make her happy (I was initially thinking to give the role to my cousin), I just wanted to move on from the negativity she was bringing onto me.

1. Fast forward couple months, I planned a gathering with my friends I wanted in my bridal party and thought it would be a good way for them to all get to know each other. I prepared customised boxes for my bridesmaids with a couple cutie items inside and a robe with bridesmaid written on them. ‘A’ had the maid of honour robe and when they girls opened up their boxes to see their roles ‘A’ jumped up screaming excited yes but acting as if it was a big shock for her. All the girls froze in shock at her reaction, ‘A’ ran up to me practically in tears hugged me and said “thank you, omg this is a shock”. I just smiled and moved on with the event. Little did I know the red flags would keep coming.
   
2. ‘A’ started getting involved in the planning of the wedding and told me she’ll be organising the bridal shower very soon. She gave me a couple different ideas on what she’s thinking on planning to make sure I’d enjoy it. She told me she’s planning a spa day at a hotel, brunch spa, dinner and drinks. To end the night she told me she’ll book ONE room just for me and her, and said the other girls can book rooms if they want or can make their own way home. I didn’t think too much of it and thought this was cute so agreed to the plan.
   
3. We decided to throw an engagement party with my fiancé for family and friends. ‘A’ continuously got between me and anyone who I was dancing with at the event including me fiancé !! Constantly pulled me by my arm would get annoyed if I danced with any of the other girls or other friends. The remaining girls in the bridal party were very annoyed about this and I could tell but was trying to just keep out drama and tried to include everyone.
   
4. About 4/5 months before the wedding ‘A’ started questioning me about marrying my fiancé. She encountered one argument me and my fiancé had and that was it for her. During wedding period it gets stressful it was a petty but small argument. She sat me down one day and asked “are you sure you’re want to marry this guy?” , “ I don’t like him he doesn’t deserve you”, “you’re going to be stuck with him in an unhappy marriage” , “ you’re marrying him just for the sake of it, not because you love him”. i told her she’s worrying for no reason and that I love him hence why I’m marrying him. I tried to reassure her on her worries thinking she’s concerned about me. Couple days late she sends me meme after meme and reels of people at their best friend’s wedding dancing enjoying their time “AFTER TELLING THEM THEY DONT LIKE THE GROOM AND TOLD THE BRIDE TO BREAK UP WITH HIM”. This was the last straw and I told her shes hurting my feelings, she continued with her “I’m telling you the truth there’s still time to turn back” messages.
   

My fiancé unfortunately saw these messages pop up while we were looking at flower arrangements on my phone and was very hurt. He told me he doesn’t want someone toxic like this in our wedding or near me. I agreed with him as at this point I was fed up with her too. I messaged her to return her maid of honour robe and that she is out of my bridal party and uninvited from the wedding. I then gave the role of maid of honour to my cousin who I was initially planning to ask.
Not sure if that was an ‘a hole’ move but felt it was necessary once I saw how upset my fiancé was. Well that’s the first half of the dramas with my bridesmaids. I’ll post the rest if you’d like to know 🤣

English isn't my first language, so ¡bare with me when you see a spelling mistake!
So i 18m I'm going to a school and have rather new classmates. It's the first time I've ever been friendly with people that weren't my old group friends.
In our school, at your fourth year, you gotta pick a career to study for the next four years, as you’ll get a title of it, this made me get separated from my group of friends and made continuing school hard, add up an ongoing pandemic and i couldn't handle that year, and failed 9 classes out of 12.
When you fail a class, you have to retake it at the end of the year, where they will give you a test that has everything you learnt on the year, and you gotta ace it or else, it will be moved to another date, and if by the end of secondary school, you haven't finished that, you won't have your title, the problem is that, once you failed 3 classes, you’re up for retaking the entire year if you don't ace them, so i, having 9 classes, i had to stress my ass off to not retake the year, this left me with a rather low “GPA” (it's not really gpa, but i don't know how else i would say that people thought i wasn't as bright as i really was), after retaking all, and thankfully not failing any (the tests, were rather easy, but it might have been due to another reason, i'll explain later), start of fifth year, no more pandemic, but also school wasn't gonna be the same.
When you reach fifth year in my school, you get changed to a nightly schedule, from 7:30am to 12:30am its for specialty (workshop work, or other important work for your title) and then from 6pm to 10:30pm is normal school, So, after reaching this, i decided to switch classes, as i didn't enjoy who my classmates where, meet new classmate, we’ll call her F for privacy reasons. F is 19 as of 2024, this girl was also hit by the pandemic, but i won't say it was the same as me.
I never hated someone as much as I hated this girl, she prides herself on being the morally correct one in every situation, when most of the time she isn’t.
F has multiple times told me about how she’s so nice, and also scolded me for being an open asshole, when most of the time i tried not being one, this has led to me just trying to not even see her.F always wanted to have a more stereotypical end of secondary school, with a party, a trip and alcohol, lots of alcohol, and she had her group of friends which also held the same belief (i always wondered if they were somehow brainwashed or something), in this time i never was best of buddies with any of them, but for this year i always thought F was doing the wrong decisions, going with a travel foundation which has scammed me before, and also trying to throw a party with people known for being “bullies” (even worse but i don't know another way of explaining it), none of these went well, the travel group scammed another person later that year which made us not go with them (woo biggie, i'm surprised) and well, the party that was thrown at the end of the year, ended up with some stabbing, so also not the best end of year resolution, but i'm not mad about anything of that, because i made some friends on that year that i never will regret meeting.
5th year of school was rather easy, coming out of the pandemic i had no trouble getting back to my studying habits, and ended up being one of the smartest of my class, don't take that as a title, as next year, i would be diagnosed with high functioning autism.
Autism was the source of most of my troubles in the pandemic, the sudden change of in school learning to online learning, was really bad for me, and it's the main reason I failed so much yet retaking was so easy.
In 6th year (this is the most important year, as we meet my now, group of friends), this being the year before the last, this year, we needed to decide how we were gonna end secondary school, As the trip went as well as it did, we didn't do that so we had to change what we were doing, we decided to throw this party, which for the first time i was happy about, i had a group of friends that i loved hanging out with, my hate with F was dissolved (don't worry, its coming back).
This party, was gonna be expensive, my biggest red flag was, how it was an entire paycheck just for one night, we would also need to do the cleaning ourselves, and nobody wanted to hold us as these kind of party always end up being pretty bad (unsupervised teens with alcohol was never a green flag for anyone), so we had to shell out 500k for end of the year (so, just so you can make the connection, a brand new ps5 is around that, we’re on south america) as soon as this was said, it was a turn off for me, i tried to stay for my friends, but F and her group kept flagging down what i wanted to do in said party.
In this party, i didnt wanna be shy like i always lived, i wanted to try myself out and i had only people i trusted around me, so i wasn't worried, it wasn't anything big what i wanted, i wanted a place where everything was a bit quieter (i didn't know i had autism at the time of asking for that, after finding out they wanted to give me that, but i still decided on not going anyways, best decision of my life).
So for the first few months, i helped, i raised money and my mom,56f as of 2024, also put a lot of money for 2 other more people, as she thought they were nice and deserved to go, but after all of what was happening with how it was organized (adults always pull the fun out of parties), i decided to leave, and spend the money on a trip or something for myself, as 500k is more than enough for many things, not just a one night party.
So for next year, as well as this party, F wanted to make a special school uniform for our class, it's pretty common to do that over here, and also not having one, sometimes is seen as a disgrace (depending on the school).
This year, we’ve got a new set of classmates added to our class. As we were pretty small, sitting with only 14 classmates, we were bumped up to 23. Thankfully, none of these were bad, and I prefer them more over the older classmates from 5th year.
Since in this year we met the scammer, I gotta introduce B, 18m as of 2024 (If you’re reading this, congrats on your 18th birthday!), B is one of my current friends and the one who brought S: The scammer, as the situation with S is pretty bad, I won't even state their gender as I don't want anything to do with S, ANYTHING.
B is this stereotypical quiet kid, he likes anime and all those sorts of things, we got along pretty well together because we like similar stuff.
B hated F as well, as she was the worst with him, always expecting this from him, but never being a straight asshole with him.
B is a really nice kid, he didn't want F to be mad so he went himself out looking for someone to make the school uniforms, someone to trust and that was cheap, here comes M, nobody knew M was a scammer, they had a pretty well title for themselves and it was, from the looks, this was the first year M had ever scammed someone.
For the entirety of this year, nothing bad really happened, aside from me leaving the party and some drama with another classmate (which is irrelevant to this story), 6th year was pretty flawless.
Come the year of the scamming!, 2024, in this year we got a new classmate, this classmate, we’ll call A, 18m as of 2024, and his mom will be AM (i don't know her age), as well as F’s mom (i don't know their age as well), who will be FM (sorry for introducing so many people, it's a classroom and many are at fault)
A isn't the brightest of people, AM being one of those helicopter mom’s who pampered their child until they became useless, she always messed up everything, by wanting it all to be made about their son, and this also made A have a really big ego, i'd say it's definitely bigger than the standard ego someone has but not big enough to cry over the smallest mistake.
We all hated A, even F, we didn't treat him wrongly but he always got into fights with us because we didn't do stuff like he wanted it to be done, leading him into being the most hated classmate of the year.
FM and AM got along surprisingly well, as both had the same personality of having the greatest child, and the rage of thousands of fires, this is important for later.
Its january we have to pay the last month for the uniform, totalling up to 25k for each student, this month, S’s son is starting to have issues, some severe depression and other things, which bring some really expensive medical bills, this meant our uniform (which is a t-shirt and a jacket with our school name and our career) would be delayed, as S did not have the money, supposedly, this was bad, really bad, since F and A wanted the uniforms as soon as they could (A having to pay everything in 1 month instead of the entire year we had),
Both A and F were going to fight about it as they really wanted these uniforms made, so first they had no trouble with S, as well, their son was in a really bad place (or that's what i thought), so february comes, no uniforms are made, as we knew was gonna happen, lots of people were mad, but the most mad was AM and FM, as they paid for all of it and, according to them, this was ruining our classroom’s title.
Seeing all of this, my mom was starting to feel bad for S, as she herself was in this place before, having no money and a family to feed, so she wanted this to end the best it could.
Out of their own heart, she decided to shell out 100k to have at least the t-shirts finished (thanks mom, love you), she didn't give the 100k to S, as many people were mad with S, she just bought was S told her to buy, this gave my mom a golden title, for a bit at least.
This meant now that S had more time to get the 100k for the Jackets, and give us the jackets for at least the end of the year.
The months go by, and S is quiet, except with my mom, being the one that kept paying for many stuff, as she thought S wasn't a scammer, it's almost april, and F and A are mad, so they decided to go around spreading the word, about S, asking if someone had the same thing done to them.
This time, they did get a response, as S was had to deliver many things, not just our things, and the biggest red flag none of us knew, is that they gave a different reason to every other schools, Some of these, are close to ours, some involve her in a car crash, some involve the death of her son, some involve some cat with rabies and other stories, it was all bullshit.
The problem is that, S had ways of proving all of these things, while these were all impossible to happen at the same time, she had the papers to prove these, so my mom always thought that S was really in trouble, and so did I because of my mom.
So in this group of all the schools, where FM and AM are discussing the scam, they throw something out, something that would ruin me for the next couple of months.
B was bullied by F, A and their group of friends, so he decided to leave the party they were throwing by the end of the year (he was 350k in, and wasn't given his money back), so, because B was a friend of mine, i helped him and we became even better friends that before.
Meanwhile A and F were mad by this, as B was the source of the scam, and my mom helped S (keep in mind, B was sad because of what he did, but at the time of recommending S, he didn't know S was a scammer, and neither did my mom), because of all of this happening, A and F decided to think about the situation, and sent a message to the group explaining everything, and framed my mom as part of the scam, i was never aware of this until recently.
So come a couple of weeks ago, im sitting on class, it's a small day, it's just me B and another friend of mine, who we’ll call R, 20m as of 2024, F decided to skip and A went to school, with it, we were only 13 classmates as something happened, and the other half was unable to attend.
At 8pm, 2 hours before leaving, i start getting messaged by an unknown number, this message goes like this: “You give us our money we deserve, as your little scammer mom and scammer lady have done this to us and we won't go without a fight, we know where you live, when you leave school and we’re not a tiny group”, I was really scared at the time of getting these messages, out of all my friend group, it was only B and R, and i didnt know who sent these threats, but i definitely knew my mom wasn't a scammer, as i felt those 100k leave our bank account, and i knew S was believed to be a scammer, but i believed what S told us, as they had proof and FM and AM didn't have proof.
So when i started getting those threats, i decided to defend S, as i didn't know better, and thought it was the right thing to do, this made him even madder and kept insisting, about the money, which set of red flags for me, as it started to sound like empty threats, so i decided to tell B and R about this, and they were properly mad as well, they were making their own plans, in the meantime, i also was messaging my mom with screenshots of the conversation, she was not only mad, she was also scared, so she decided to call the unknown number to know what was happening.
According to the one on the other side, the number was stolen, and whoever was using it to send threats, must be a part of their company, and they would look into it (we don't know if this is true or not, but i and my mom dont wanna make this bigger than it already is).
This was starting to become stressful for me, as i had to finish an assignment while all of this was happening, and my stress and anxiety was starting to be noticed by the rest of the classmates, so to calm down a bit, i decided to tell all my friends in a whatsapp group, and we started fabricating theories, but the biggest one had to do with A, as he was the one that tried stunts when my mom put the 100k for the t-shirts.
While I was discussing this with my friends, some of them even messaging the unknown number, stating how I had autism and they were going for the wrong person, I didn't know better, etc. They defended me the entire way through the threats.
My mom told the principal about it, which he asked if he wanted the police called, or do something else about it, so my mom said that she wanted to come to my school, to know i was safe and everything, which the principal decided to come with her (the principal isn't at night time, only morning and evening, as he’s supposed to work only 8 hours a day, it's a public school), my mom arrives at school, with the principal and my brother, 21m as of 2024 (he’s a drama enjoyer, and the one who told me to post here, as i wouldn't have thought about it alone), the principal asked my mom if she wanted to bring me home now, or do something else, in which he told her that she could go to the classroom and give a small talk about the matter, which she promptly accepted as she always loved our classroom and never thought something like this could have happened, for context, my mom is important in the school, as she donated a lot of money on all the things we would ever need.
The principal enters the classroom out of nowhere, and talks about what's happening and how my mom, is important, a nice person and wants to say something regarding the issues, nobody expected this since the principal shouldn't have gotten involved in out of school matters, my mom gives the chat about what's happening and that this is all a misunderstanding, how she was scammed like all of us and she wants this over because she never gained from this, only lost from it, and didn’t wanna have to call the police as she didnt wanna have us end the year with some of us in jail.
So out of all of this, now that the entire classroom knew about it, as word to word it was transcribed into the class’s whatsapp group by another classmate, so F’s friends group called me (i was sure F and A was involved in this, but i couldn't be mad with F’s friend group as they defended me from a beating last year) and decided to help me, great people indeed knowing i hated F, and they decided that it was a good idea to make A speak, but i told them i didn't want that to happen as i wasn't entirely sure A was the one that messaged, i just knew he was involved.
A was properly beaten up outside of school, as all of F’s friends and other classmates were mad at him, but aside from that, flashing to today, nothing else has happened.
While i didn't do the lawsuit, there’s a legal battle against S, and now that this happened, im involved in it, not on S side or any side, A and F have nothing with it but AM and FM have, and they stopped talking to me and my mom, we just think its out of fear since we’re part of the lawsuit and we can testify against them if needed.
Sadly this isn't one of those stories that end with all the drama resolved and a good ending, as i never ever thought this would ever happened and didn't know what to do, so decided to do nothing, this has taken a toll on me a bit, so i wanted to share it as i don't know if i did the right or im getting in trouble for my actions.
So reddit, ¿AITAH for defending the scammer when I received the threats?

Hi, ako yung nagpost about sa rants ko last time about dillemma if I should go or if I should stay, knowing na mag-3 years na ako sa August 9 and I'm still an ASE. From my rants sa previous project, to how grateful ako sa current project ko kasi totally differrent ang experience.
Sa totoo lang, sa dami kong stress and knowing na I might not get promoted na naman this time has already wondered me actually. Sa linkedin, I had 15 messages for me to get interviewed, yung iba may mga offer na (tbh medyo barat mga offers kasi wala pa daw ako 3 years kahit senior position ang inooffer 🙄)
During this time, nakapagsabi na ko sa friends ko na natetempt na ako sa isang offer. Kasi 37k siya, 22k lang basic ko. Kapos na talaga kami, and alam ko naman kaya ko ang work kahit mid- senior ang alok. Gusto ko na din mag-ayos ng resume since ang dami kong naging ups and downs outside work na ngayon ko pa lang siya magagawa.
Lutang ako last week. My friend and my tita just died. Close ako sa kanila. Wala na ko pera at nag abono ko pampagawa ng bahay meaning my life savings are gone kasi binabaha kami lagi. Pagod na ko mentally talaga. Ang daming bills to pay this june 30.
Until last week, I had a talk to my manager. Akala ko kung ano lang, I was not expecting at all. And then, there I was hearing the news na approved ang promotion ko ng HR.
Tapos kahapon lang nalaman ko na hindi lang pala ko basta promoted. I got the skip promotion to CL 10 / Senior Analyst. My manager told me na sa tagal niya sa ACN, 1st time niya ito. Nilibre pa ko ng sb kahapon.
Sino ba mag-aakala na within 2 years and 9 months, ganito mangyayari? Kung last year, nanlulumo pa ko sa sarili ko. Naaawa na ko sa sarili ko. I am working hard pero ano ba what for ba. Tapos the moment I least expect, I got more than what I asked for.
Congrats, mid year promotes like me!!! Kanya kanyang kwento paano nakaabot sa ganitong moment. Deserve natin ito!
P.s. 25k po base ko now. Naduling na po ata ako sa sobrang pagkagulat.
P.P.S. I know po the position is hard. As much as I wanted 60k and up, need ko po iconsider my family, kailangan may ipon kasi hold ang sweldo ko, and what not. I also study, my sisters are studying.
I accepted the offer knowing I already work as an SSE. I also have ample time mag ipon since 6-7 months naman ang initial plan for myexit if di ako promoted. Sa dami pong nangyayari sa buhay ko, I also wanted to heal emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. I am taking things one at a time. I believe success comes in time, so I will take this a first step of many more to come. :)

​​I just wanted to pass along this wild story that Wubby could potentially cover. It's the same type of beat of those embarrassing texts men send to women when they get rejected x Amber Heard case type beat. This is all alleged right now and will go to trial June 10 if you care to watch and go into the rabbit hole.
​​As background, there is a woman who sought out a former Bachelor, who was now doing real estate after the show to be her realtor. (You don't need to watch the show to find this story insane). She reached out to him through LinkedIn and exchanged numbers to be business partners. Long story short, the business transaction became a fellatio encounter, and he had apologized to her saying he wasn't looking for anything serious with her. He offered to refer her to another realtor so that she could go on with her plans to buy property with someone else to avoid the awkwardness but she refused. She then texts and emails him over 500 messages claiming she is pregnant with his twins even though he claims they never had sex and naturally he blocks her. This is one of the unhinged emails she sent him. (He basically has an order of protection against her because of the excessive texts and the email. I am sharing one of those below). She files for a paternity plan through the courts, she tries to get rid of that case by claiming she had an abortion, but the judge won't have it, and that is the hearing happening June 10 where they will argue she did fraud and he deserves his money back for the case.
​​Just to conclude a bit: She never sent him REAL ultrasounds (there is evidence she may have sent him fake ultrasounds) or let him talk to a doctor about her alleged pregnancy. They did take 3 paternity tests, 2 of which came back "little to no fetal DNA, and the other "got lost" in the mail. It is suspected that she can pee positive HCG tests because shes injecting herself with HCG shots. She has faked multiple medical records in court and the fakery of the pregnancy goes on and on. It's wild. There is so much more too, but that's the crux of this all.
​​Hope it's interesting enough for chat. It's truly the worst case of rejection happening and the person goes berserk. ​​

Clayton, ​​ ​​I’ve prayed that this email will have an impact on you, unlike my others. It’s truly the last one you will get from me where abortion is a possibility. ​​ ​​I have taken time to reflect on what I have been going through with our pregnancy and how you have acted towards me. You’ve shown no compassion or empathy, while I have been endlessly patient with you and provided you with an absurd amount of evidence that I am pregnant. I’ve been complelety honest with you, as displayed by my willingness to send you anything you’ve needed at any time and proven you that based on when my pregnancy test became positive that their isn’t a doubt that you are the father. I understand that you and of course the court want a paternity test and I’ve proactivekly been trying to schedule that with these three different labs. I’ve contacted choice DNA, Arpoint Labs, and Any Lab Test Now to see when is the soonestwe can do it. If I weren’t pregnant with your kid, wouldn’t I be avoiding it at all costs? You also of coourse know that I was accepted as a patient at Scottsdale Perinatal Associates. If I wasn’t pregnant, why would a high-risk speciasalty practice that only accepts clients based on records that verify their pregnancy and their condition take me as a client? You’ve also been provided with recordings with two phone calls with the staff at Scottsdale Perinatal Associates that confirm their reciept of the ultraqsound from Planned Prenthood and verify the pregnancy, along with acknowledge the fact that we will speak about the possibility of twins with the doctor on July 24th. In addition, you asked for photos of and with the pills wiht my naame on them if I hadn’t actually gotten them? In addition, why di I offer to take a preganancy test immediately when I got to your apartment… and why would it have been positive if I wasnt pregnant? ​​ ​​No person in their right mind would think that there was a chance that my pregnancy wasn’t real, soo your lack of belief in it makes no sense. We are coming up on two weeeks of me - the mother of your child - being blocked on text messaging and every platform, after you said that it was immature of you to have done that before and that you would not do it again. You promised to support me. It’s been humiliating to have to try on email to communicate with you that…have been unresponsive to, and when they have, you haven’t been… I have poured my heart to you…explained why this decision is so difficult for me because my father is dying right now. I’ve explained that the circumstances…personal because my grandmother was almost aborted. To this point, I look stupid for continuing to respond to your endless requests for evidence when you have been provided with so much more than you needed. It was humiliating to pee on a stick in front of you, yet I did it. And when the test came back positive, you still didn’t believe it? Do you really think anyone would agree with the ammount of you…the documentation you have been given? ​​ ​​I never would have threatened to go to the media if you hadn’t told me at the start of this that you would do just that if the preganacy wasn’t real because “people like you need to be held accountable”. Your behavior after discovering I wasn’t luing has been selfish. You haven’t stepped up as a thirty year old man would to be there for the mother of the child whom you are half resposible for the sittuation, which is cowardly. I have told you why mental health matters so much to me because of what I have gone through, and opened up about a dark family secret - that my grandma commited suicide - and how it impacted my dad. You didn’t even have the decency to respond to me. Given your behavior, I have absolutely no issue going to the media anonymously after the paternity test and no allegience or loyalty to you and would be fully convinced that your mission.. on attempt to… in the public eye which kills me to say because I realluy think that deep down, you do care. I have been praying and praying for you to show who you really are. God keeps telling me that you are a good person and someone whose… I can enhance so I don’t know why things have been as they are. I really wish He would be… me differently because it’s hard to keep believeing in someone who is so demeaning in these circumstances. If the man you have been is who you are, you… to be held accountable, but my god I don’t want to do this. ​​ ​​You can’t say you haven’t been given a voice when I have told you that I will have an abortion if we try things out for a few weeks and have a good reason for aborting the child. So…you to terminate the opregancy because you don’t want to grow up and because it would impact your dating life. Those are not good enough reasons to and for me. These words feel menacing because you know I like you and want to try things out with you. I don’t deserve to feel hurt at this point in my life and my preganancy when I havent done anything to deserve it. ​​ ​​I have no desire for money because I have more than enough. I have no desire for…because I experienced what that was for the entire time I was in San Francisco. I completely understand why you would be suspicious of women being after you for being on The Bachelor, but that is so not me, and in fact, I think that is the interesting thing about you. I have never let money… in my.. than when we were doing real estate together and crave loosing that confidence again. That was because of you. There is so, so, so much about you that I find admirable, inspiring, and sexy, and attractive. You’re smarter than you think, charismatic, and capable of doing so much good in the world. I know that if you and I…things out we woould end up…eachother to knew hieghts in careers. Like I’ve said over and over again, you don’t like me because I’m preganant with your child, not because of who I am. You haven’t gotten to know me and It’s been you loss. I’ve shown you qualities that no other woman would during this process, and that includes being enough to stand up to you and hold you accountable for your actions. ​​ ​​I know I said that this was your last chance to make a decision a lot, but this time, I really mean it. I am completely at peace with the likely outcome that I will have your child. I do see a lot of hard… if that’s what we choose without… and abortion., but if that’s what’s meant to be, it will be. ​​ ​​You wouln’t be…to make the decision to date exclusively…whether or not we have an abortion. I know how valuable I am as a partner and it really wouldn’t be your loss not to… that for yourself. I know I can get any man on the dating appas of…so I’m by no means desperate. I also know that you are sexually attracted to me despite the fact that you only [softened?] up one time while you were very, very high. You obviously enjoyed it even though you can’t really have seen if we were a match based on your marital status at this time. Being with me would be a…you wouldn’t be dating me…by being with me…I would…the father of my child, I would want to try to be together like most religious people do, and in fact, as you know, marriage was the likely outcome of an unexpected pregnancy…so I’m not…for a… and make the decision together. Maybe we would decide to keep him or her, which would be a beautiful thing. If we decide not to, maybe we would work towards having that in the future. I know we were brought together for a reason and it’s too bad that you’ve…that reason as God just using me to guide you to another level. ​​ ​​I come home tomorrow afternoon, so if you want us to consider an abortion, this really is our last chance because of… and the fact that neither of us would want to and the pregnancy one there in a heartbeat. I would like to get togetheer tomorrow night to talk and explore intimacy. It’s time for you to make an effort if that is something we are considering. Obviously, I would love to have sex in the future and feel like I am the safest person you could have sex with since I am pregnant, but if you really…that you said yesterday, my goal was to date and get preganant during this time, we can obviously hold off on that. ​​ ​​If you either don’t get back to me tonight or if you give me the final word that you don’t want to date and choose the outcome of the pregancy, we are 100% having the child and their is no going back. I mean it, and I am at peace either way. My mental health and wellbeing is…our child and I would blame you if we have a special needs kid and discover that my stress hormonesand blood pressure caused that. I just need you to make a decision. Clearly,…the evidence I have given throughout the process that I have put together in the attached Dropbox file, I am pregnant. I have proactively worked to arrange prenatal paternity tests myself., which should prove to you that I know you’re the father. Their really are only those two outcomes so if you want to keep believeing there’s not a pregnancy or that you’re not the father, you will be severely mistaken and it will be too late for us to consider an abortion. I would have no [problem?] going to the media after the prenatal paternity test to [expose?] your horrible treatment of me during this time and lack of compassion despite your [idk]. ​​ ​​If you would stay with me for a few weeks to get me to have an abortion and then block me and go MIA as you have in the past, please don’t make that decision. I am talking about really giving things a shot on in a different way than either of us have in the past, since this is a unique circumstance. If you wouldn’t be [ecited? interested?], don’t make that choice. If you’re truly not into me, I would rather stick with my morals and have the child. I am really considering an abortion because I know that’s what you want, so if that…doesn’t make me stand out from other women, good luck finding one who would care that much to sacrifice their own values and morals because they believe in your mission. I would trust and respect you enough for you to make the decisionon your own as to whether or not we have the abortion. Do you know how big of a deal that this is for me to offer? I would LOVE to be a mom and want that in the future more than anything in the world. But God (and you, depending on what you decide) bare responsible for deciding when that is. If it’s now, I would be thrilled. But I really do believe in you and the message you want to spread, so please, show me that my faith in you isn’t misplaced. I would also be so appreciative of the consideration you would be showing for my feelings and why it would be important for me that I would promise to keep everything that happened between us. You need to man up to understand that allowing you to make the decision would be the biggest leap and faith of sacrifice of my life, so if you don’t appreciate this, go find someone else and we will move forward with having the child. ​​ ​​If you don’t respond, I know you will end up regretting because I am offering to give you not just “a” say, but “THE” say in the outcome of our pregnancy. In my heart, I think we will both regret not exploring the abortion option because there will be no going back after this. Please let me know you decision, and regardless, please be kind. Hope we are on the same page and in that case, hope to [have you reconsider?]. If not, I genuinly mean it I [congrats?] you on being a dad. ​​

I bought the afeera bundle when she first came out and played her a bit. I can back to the game a few days ago and it gave me the message “congrats on purchasing afeera” or something like that. But I don’t have access to afeera now and the pack is missing from my downloads. Had this happened to anyone else?

So 2 times I had(18M), asked her(18F), if she wanted go on date. In which she had flaked on me. First time I had asked her for schedule in which she never sent it to me. And the Second she told me an hour after the date started she was sick. So I gave up had time to ponder, think and ask others about what I should do. Because this the first person I've actually ever liked and thought about dating. In which I just came to the conclusion and told her "Hey I know you've been busy with work and all so if your ever interested in going on a date set a date on when,where, and what time and I'll let you know if im available". In which after I texted her that I just began to not talk to heignore her. I recently saw her at my grad and got a message from her saying congrats on graduating(in which I left on read), and her mom had told me that she was wondering I didn't reply back or anything. And it has me wondering if I'm being immature by ignoring her messages and skipping her graduation. While on the other hand why would I associate with someone who is gonna waste my time? What's your take on this am I, in the right or wrong? What should I do?