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Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.

The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
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Below is a list of the deltas awarded in this post.
Please note that a change of view is not necessarily a reversal, and that OP awarding a delta doesn't mean the conversation has ended.
For a full explanation of the delta system, see here.

Deltas from OP whalesdrinkwater

• 1 delta from OP to Geodesic_Disaster_ for "is the expectation that it's an engagement ring, typically worn for the rest of her life, or just ..."

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What we're about

Friend Raid is a relaxed, inclusive guild that prioritizes fun and helping each other improve. Our main rule is don't be a dick and keep getting better. We are super LGBT+ friendly, welcome everybody, and strive to keep the environment safe and comfortable for everyone.
Our Mythic raid team consistently clears half of the raid each tier, our AoTC team achives AoTC every tier, and our Mythic+ players push high keys and participate in MDI/TGP. We also have things like Achievement/Transmog runs, we play other games in large and small groups, and usually have people hanging out in Discord every night.

Season 4 plans

We are taking season 4 pretty chill with raiding. We are running weekly Heroic raids in WoW Remix and Retail. Our M+ community is still running keys on retail as well for the season. We are recruiting with the plans to hit the ground running in The War Within.
Raid Nights - Tues/Thurs 8pm-11pm EST. We are running content together as a guild for Season 4. Normal raid times for our teams listed below.

Recruiting Needs

We are currently looking for players interested in raiding with one of our teams (Mythic/Heroic) for War Within, all M+ focused players looking for a community, and casual players looking for a place to chill.
Just Burn Boss (Mythic Focused) - JBB is looking for all roles, several of our raiders at the end of this tier got very good IRL news (job changes, life changes, things like that) and we're rebuilding for War Within. The goal will be to push to the "wall" boss and try and get it down tier 1.
Normally raids Tues/Wed 8pm-11pm EST.
Barely Contained Chaos (AoTC Focused) - Healers and DPS are needed, otherwise anyone interested in AOTC raiding who feels they'll vibe well with the guild are welcome and encouraged to apply.
Normally raids Thurs/Fri 7:30pm-10:30pm EST.
Mythic+ Players - We are always looking for more Mythic+ runners. We have a strict "no key begging" policy and high skill players looking for more fun folks to play with.
Casual Players - We are working on improving our casual community. If you are a mount collector, someone who just wants to run easy content, or are learning and want to get better to step into high level content, we would love you to apply. We are very active in WoW remix so this is the perfect time to join to get that sweet sweet bronze.

Links

Raider.IO: https://raider.io/guilds/us/stormrage/Friend%20Raid
Warcraft Logs Page: https://www.warcraftlogs.com/guild/id/585996

Apply

You can fill out our short form https://forms.gle/5MK995UdZtu1u47a8, apply on Guilds of WoW, or shoot me a message and lets talk!

With Jeep's shirt sponsorship due to end imminently, I decided to rank all the Jeep kits we've had over the years. These include all home, away and third kits since the 2012-13 season, but exclude any special edition or one-off kits. Of course, these are my subjective rankings, so I don't expect anyone to agree with this 100%, so feel free to voice your own opinions.
Starting off with the worst kits:
36) 2021-22 Third kit. By far the worst Juventus kit with the Jeep logo in my opinion. While it uses classic Juve colors like yellow and blue- the overly bright yellow and the horrible design make it ugly for an amateur kit, let alone on one of the biggest teams in Europe.
35) 2019-20 Home: The worst Home kit on this list. It made a total mockery of Juve's classic black and white stripes and replaced them with an unappealing half white/ half black shirt with a pink ribbon in the middle. While this might not have been a terrible third kit, it was an absolute travesty to have had it as a home jersey.
34) 2017-18 Third: An unappealing olive green kit with a horizontal white band that completely seems out of place. Highly forgettable.
33) 2023-24 Home: In previous years, Adidas has done a stellar job of incorporating yellow into the mix and complementing it well with other colors, but in this instance, the yellow clashes with the black and white stripes and makes it look like a mess.
32) 2016-17 Third: The infamous zebra kit. While the zebra design on the sleeves itself doesn't look too bad, it doesn't go well with the completely bland and uninspiring white of the rest of the shirt.
31) 2020-21 Third: While the orange color looks good, the black spots look like smudges of ink and ruin the overall appearance of the jersey.
30) 2018-19 Home: The black and white stripes are too narrow, and the Jeep sticker is slapped on top of it.
29) 2019-20 Away: Not a bad looking kit by any means, but the white kit and the red lettering are very unremarkable and forgettable.
28) 2012-13 Away: An otherwise good looking kit whose ranking is knocked down several spots due to the ugly Jeep sticker which sticks out, and not in a good way.
27) 2012-13 Third: Just like the kit below it in this ranking it is ruined by the awkward placement of the Jeep logo.
26) 2013-14 Third: Plain and boring black kit. Not much to see here.
25) 2022-23 Home: A controversial jersey. Some people loved this jersey and others hated it. Personally I think it looks good from a distance, but isn't pretty from up close.
24) 2023-24 Third: A greyish black jersey that is decent looking, but a very forgettable one.
23) 2020-21 Away: From here on out, we start getting to the decent looking kits and jerseys. This is another forgettable entry in the list. The dark blue color looks nice, but there's nothing that stands out about this kit.
22) 2015-16 Home: Another kit that divides opinion. The stripes are too narrow for my liking.
21) 2018-19 Away: A very clean, crisp beige design that stands out simply because we're not used to seeing this color on a Juventus jersey.
20) 2014-15 Third: Another unconventional Juve color, but I like the clean bright green design. This kit belongs firmly in the middle of the pack.
19) 2016-17 Home: A slightly unconventional design for a home kit. Would've ranked higher if the Jeep sticker was incorporated more gracefully.
18) 2018-19 Third: Very similar to the gorgeous 2015-16 kit, this beautiful jersey loses a few spots for being not very distinct from it.
17) 2019-20 Third: Most of Juve's blue kits are easy on this eye, and this one is no different.
16) 2022-23 Away: A sleek black kit with an electrifying Jeep logo, but not a very memorable one.
15) 2012-13 Home: The very first Juve home jersey with a Jeep logo. The collar looks nice, but like other early Jeep designs, the Jeep logo placement isn't done very well.
14) 2014-15 Home: A classy and timeless home kit, which will be remembered favorably for years to come due to Juve's incredible season that year.
13) 2022-23 Third: Juve returning to its pink roots yet again. This kit gets a high rating due to its intricate design although few people will remember it in the coming years due to Juve's miserable season on and off the pitch.
12) 2017-18 Away: Yellow and blue are classic Juve colors, but this kit's similarity to the 2013-14 kit leaves it out of the top 10 list.
11) 2016-17 Away: I have fond memories of this pretty two-tone blue kit, as Juve had another memorable season in Italy and Europe with it.
10) 2023-24 Away: One of the few horizontally striped jerseys on this list. I appreciate the effort to make a design that stands out from the rest. The pink and grey stripes complement each other nicely
9) 2013-14 Home: This is what a Juventus home jersey should look like. Perfectly spaced stripes, and a great collar and simple sleeves. Not ranked near the very top due to the intrusive Jeep sticker.
8) 2015-16 Away kit: The highest ranked pink kit in this list. Would've been perfect with a better Jeep logo.
7) 2021-22 Home kit: Excellent kit. The only thing I don't like about it is the horizontal Adidas stripes on the top.
6) 2013-14 Away: The Yellow shirt and blue shorts are done to perfection. If you wear this shirt, make sure it to wear blue jeans or blue shorts to match the color combo.
5) 2021-22 Away: Very visually striking jersey, and one which you can wear casually and look great in. I actually like the Adidas stripes on this one.
4) 2020-21 Home: The gold lettering and logos look really nice on the home shirt. A huge improvement over the dreadful 2018-19/ and 2019-20 jerseys.
3) 2017-18 Home: The first Juve jersey without the classic Juventus logo, but the classy design of the collar and the gold touches more than make up for it. The best Juve home jersey in a long time in my opinion.
2) 2014-15 Away: Reminiscent of the 1995-96 Juventus away jersey, this stunning kit also brought us many memorable moments in the Champions League. This was one of the last kits Nike designed for us, and they certainly made sure they signed off on a high note
1) 2015-16 Third: The black and gold combo is sublime. The Jeep logo is tastefully done, and the classic Juve logo is converted to a black and gold scheme which looks gorgeous. Adidas hit a home run with this one.
Based on the average ranking of each kit, the seasons with the best kits are

1. 2015-16
2. 2014-15
3. 2013-14

and the seasons with the worst kits are:

1. 2019-20
2. 2012-13
3. 2018-19

Having a tough time with Sword Saint, figured I'd mop up all the loose ends. Would love some extra vitality I'm only at 15. Looking at a list it seems like 2 of the beads are located in tbe Hirata estate? Since I already killed the divine dragon I can't go there. I know I'll miss out on a memory but I'm more concerned with the vitality.
It's not at the missed item place where the undying samurai was. If I do miss out it's not a huge deal, 15->19 should still be a nice jump

I wanna preface my post by saying; I know this is not true for all programs, I guess I was lucky enough to find the “perfect one”. However, I’m sure there are many other residents that also have to put up with an RPD from hell.
Throughout my PGY1 I’ve been belittled, ridiculed, overworked, and taken advantage of in so many way that I’ve lost count. My RPD has taken my concerns and literally scoffed at them, on many occasions. For example: they are terrible at covering shifts and it ends up as a residents task to cover shifts on a weekly basis. I brought up that I’m staffing way more than what is listed on my contract, and have already done my yearly staffing requirement (this happened back in March), her response… “get a union rep”. This has happened on so many different occasions and scenarios that at this point they just blend.
The reason for this post is not for help getting through it. I’m just putting my head down and gonna finish this crap shoot off. I’m posting this because I want, no I NEED, to get her back. I’ve already warned off future residents, but I guess they didn’t heed the warnings, as they matched all slots in phase 1. Now the burden falls on my shoulders, what devious way can I cause disruption or burden (obviously without actual harm).
Please put any creative ideas in the comments!
Thanks.
Sincerely, A burnt out resident

Two species, both alike in advancement,
Spanning the vast emptiness of black space;
Expanding borders create encroachment,
Interstellar ships brings foes face to face.
Whence from their cradles the worlds issue forth
A vast pair of exploratory fleets,
Whose collisions do readily transport
A balanced wave of death whence they shall meet.
Cultural ignorance breeds the great hate,
Foreign ideas permeate all the norms,
Whereas pastimes do, the soldiers lives abate,
These trinkets have the power to transform.
That which matters not to one may save all
For its meaning may be hard to recall
false significance plastered on the wall
May yet bring peace and prosperity all.
—-------------------
The klaxons shattered the silence of the station, blaring through all of the corridors and reverberating off the bulkheads. The cacophony of sounds, as the entire crew leapt from their bunks and quickly grabbed their most prized, or irreplaceable, possessions, grew in intensity as the red lights flared in an oscillating sequence.
The crew were halfway through packing before the klaxons were punctuated by instructions: “All hands, prepare to abandon station. M’quezniok Battle Cruiser is inbound. Repeat: M’quezniok Battle Cruiser inbound. Take only what you must and make your way to the nearest escape craft.”
The drills had been effective. All hands of the terraforming station were accounted for in the various slipstream escape craft within 7 minutes of the initial detection of the inbound warship.
All possessions were secured within another 3 minutes and the small fleet of vessels were free of the atmosphere 5 minutes later. In formation they slid silently through the blackness and away from the approaching insatiable appetite of conquest.
27 hours later, the twinkling effect began at the bow of each vessel as they pierced the veil of reality and speared their way into the void between the planck lengths of spacetime.
Earth Command received them a mere 49 hours, 29 minutes, and 37 seconds after the last of the escape craft abandoned the terraforming station.
The station became another dot on the map of conquest of the M’quezniok, a line that seems to be expanding in all directions away from their homeworld much faster than the humans can build up and sort of defensive perimeter.
The M’quezniok culture lacks subtlety and nuance; it lacks empathy. It only has room for measurable strength and their measure lies in whether or not property can be taken and held. If it can, it belongs to whomever can do so… and that someone, in their eyes, should always be them. They have no mercy and eradicate all citizens of colonies that they conquer. They raze every building that cannot be readily adapted to their purposes. They devour any animals that they cannot use for brute force. They are ruthless and their culture lies entirely in the glory of the expansion of their empire, in an unsustainable need for personal edification for each military commander.
—--
The ground forces commander entered the station ahead of her troops. There were no humans here. They fled like the cowards they were, well in advance of the arrival of her ship. There was no honorable conquest to be had at this location, just the claiming of an abandoned complex. As such, since there were no spoils of individual combat for any of her crew to claim, the entire base was hers for the first-taking. None of her crew dared touch anything in a way that might suggest an interest in it for, the appearance for claiming spoils out of turn could result in punishments far greater than any rewards to be found here.
The Commander walked through the terraforming station, going through bunk after bunk, finding nothing of value and even less of military value. There were no secrets here. There were no riches here. There were… clothes, little trinkets, manuals for the equipment, nasty human food. The commander was greatly disappointed in the raid but, in order for her crew to split the meager offerings that were present, she had to take SOMETHING. So she chose a box on the floor at her feet. This room, like all the others, was a no-frills crew bunk. Like the others there was nothing of apparent value in it. So, she took the box and declared that it was the entirety of her prize. The crew cheered and vanished into the station, each one searching for anything that they might deem of value for their own trophies.
The Commander took the box and returned to her quarters where she opened it to see what personal secrets it may have, what stories of the former crew member who fled the station like a coward at her approach. She found, much to her shock and utter amazement, a vast collection of tales of superior warriors. Brave individuals who, in the times of greatest need for the human civilization, had risen to the challenges within their own society to defeat the misguided evils that sought to undermine the human way of life as it existed then and as she knew it to exist now. These stories, laid out in a bizarre format that seemed to mix a form of graphic depictions alongside the human language as text, reminded the Commander of many struggles within her own empire’s history; times when it took massive competing armies to determine which philosophy should rule their future; times when the death tolls where high and the waste of resources on putting down rebellions was tremendous. The Commander reviewed these documents left behind by the unknown crew member of the human terraforming station and pondered where these great heroes of humanity were, if not already devastating the front lines of M’quezniok fleet.
That’s when it occurred to her. The humans were giving the M’quezniok a chance to prove themselve worthy of living. They were giving the M’quezniok an opportunity to stop their conquest against the humans on their own before they unleashed their most powerful military forces. The Commander, stunned by her realization, dropped the volume of deeds and turned to her communications terminal.
“We have made a grave mistake in violating human space” she began her message. “I have uncovered a volume of histories which outline the capacity that humans have when situations exceed their tolerance. I have uncovered this box, quite by accident, as an item of abandoned loot in my most recent raid. Please review the contents, as I have put them into the end of the this transmission. Consider that all we know of humans through direct contacts is corroborated in these volumes: they always try to allow those who have wronged them to change their ways and, only when those ways are not changed, does it appear that they will unleash tremendous force to utterly defeat and destroy their foes. Note, in sample 17, that the humans in the story, after being unable to reach a peaceful accord with their opponents, wiped and entire sentient race from the cosmos to end the conflict with them. Note in samples 3, 9, and 47, that they have the mind to develop weapons that can be silently deployed among their enemies and which will only affect their enemies, causing them to die of disease whether the battle reaches them or not. Note that, in samples 5, 9, and 62, that the humans have a history of boarding enemy vessels in small numbers and converting the vessels themselves into weapons to destroy huge components of the enemy fleet. Most importantly, in all of the above examples, note that humans will often sacrifice themselves without promise of lasting glory or honor or riches to merely inflict harm on their opponents. There is no methodology of these tales that makes sense in our culture and that, we should all agree, makes the humans infinitely more dangerous than we previously expected. More than all of the previous, note that the humans have the capacity, when needed, to reveal their strongest military assets; single individuals who carry the power of an entire legion of our finest soldiers. Single fighters who can destroy warships without any equipment or weaponry. Single individuals who, according to these volumes, have the ability to turn our very minds against us if we face them in battle. As you are all aware, it has appeared that the humans have given up all efforts to defend themselves against us and the war is, essentially, over. There is no more honor or glory to be found in fighting humans. We arrive, they retreat. We arrive, they abandon what they have built. We arrive, and they fall back, taking all of their observations of us with them. As you can see from volumes 1, 6, 19, 33, 42, 54, 68, 71, and 98, this is when their greatest warriors emerge. It is my tactical advice that the abandonment of this specific box of intelligence on human culture was left as a final warning to us; a warning that, should we continue our actions against them, we will pay the consequences as they unleash their greatest technology and soldiers against us. If you agree, order all Conquestors to halt their advancement and return to the edge of our space.
—----
Humanity Space Command received the transmission. The statement of complete cessation of M’quezniok incursions and a promise that the last 79 encounters, in which humans had abandoned the facilities before the M’quezniok could even arrive to start fighting, would be surrendered peacefully, and permanently, back to human control.
The message indicated that the worlds conquered by force would be the new, permanent, boundary between the two empires and that humanity need not fear for any future incursions. The message also outlined that, should humanity absolutely require it so as to not unleash their greatest warriors in retribution, a list of worlds could be presented as negotiable assets that could be returned.
Human Space Command was baffled. Astounded, pleased, elated, even… but more than anything else, baffled. The best humanity had been able to offer was defeated in every dispute against the M’quezniok. Their individuals were faster, stronger, and harder to kill than humans. Their weapons were more powerful. Their defensive technology vastly outclassed anything humanity could throw at them. Their declaration of cessation simply made no sense and their outlines that they wished to avoid humanity unleashing their greatest warriors and technology as retribution made even less sense. But the top brass of HSC was not about to continue a war in which humanity had no hope of winning when the opposition declared they were done.
The HSC’s final conference on the subject, prior to transmitting the acceptance of the M’quezniok’s declaration, ended with a compound question: “who is this Lois Lane and why do they want her to be the liaison should we have to open negotiations?”

TLDR - My best friend makes me feel not enough constantly despite me trying for years and even at my full max capacity, its not enough and my growth feels stifled. She gets angry at me so easily for not being open but herself is conditional with her love. But she does put in effort from her side so I feel guilty for slowly not caring and now im defeated. I look forward to times we dont speak. AITAH and how do I deal with this?
My best friend and I have been like sisters for about 14 years. However, over the past 4-5 years, it feels like she's become very involved in her own life and is always unbelievably overwhelmed by her problems. She doesn't seem to have space for anyone else except for herself and her boyfriends. This bothered me a lot at first, but after a few fights, I made peace with the fact that we're at different stages in life and can't stay as in touch. I continued living my life, but she randomly gets upset with me for not being present in hers. We live on different continents now btw. I try my best, but she's usually too overwhelmed to talk or even pick up my calls. She expects me to know everything and gets mad if I can't remember everything perfectly. The bottom line is, I can list countless experiences where she's been angry at me for just being myself or reacting to her issues. While I try to learn from our fights, I feel she doesn't introspect and just expects me to meet her standards. When I can't meet them, she immediately dismisses everything and goes back to not sharing details of her life or not caring. We live on different continents, so it's hard to have the same level of involvement. She likes to keep people happy and has good social skills, so she checks off things she thinks people want. For example, my brother has been sick, so she asks about him, but after knowing her for so long, I know she doesn't really care. I'd rather not talk about it unless it's a genuine question. Our common friends see this trait in her too—this conditional love. They dont really give a shit anymore, cause she holds them to this unachievable standard too, but I've been trying very hard to be optimistic. However, I feel she expects too much from me. She doesn't like when I have different opinions and doesn't empathize with me. If she did, she'd cut me some slack. Honestly, I don't enjoy sharing anything with her anymore. Her presence in my life now gives me anxiety. I constantly feel like I still have to prove myself to her, even after being a loyal friend for 14 years. I don't think I should have to prove myself anymore; I know her heart, and I don’t think she has anything to prove to me. For some reason, I find it very difficult to say this to her face because she's always going through something. So, I've taken a step back, but then she puts in more effort, like calling and texting. I haven't been responding because she yelled at me about a month ago for not being enough. This has taken away my motivation to try. I feel extra guilt for not wanting to try when she does. I hate that I've given up after investing so much in her. I still think of her like a sister, so I'm struggling to end things and feel like a loser for giving up. But I actually don't think I'm open to her energy at all. I'm sure she has her side, but this is mine. I keep dismissing my own feelings, but yesterday I saw in my journal from four years ago (and many fights ago) that I still felt the same things—not being enough for her even though I was trying my best. Maybe we will reconnect one day but for now im done tbh
Lmk AITAH + do I (and if so how) do I deal with this situation without regrets.

I left the CofS in 1980. I've watched or participated in the community of ex-Scientologists in the decades since then -- on BBSes, Usenet, ex-Scn message boards, Yahoo Groups, Facebook, here on Reddit, and with many humans in real life. One element that comes up over and over is how other people expect ex-Scientologists ought to behave in regard to the subject. Most of the time, the conclusion someone expresses in an online community is, "You should think and behave the way I [the speaker] does," whether that's a loudly-expressed "It's all bullshit" attitude or something more nuanced.
I'm not speaking here about the division between Freezone/Indy and Completely-Ex people. That's an understandable issue because we fundamentally disagree with each other about the value of the tech and... it's okay to do that. Over the years, most of the Ex-meets-FZ community has found peace with each other. Or at least I grant them full respect for their opinions, and I hope I behave in such a way that they choose to respect me, too.
But rather, the larger question encompasses things like, "How much do/should we say publicly about our past involvement in Scientology" or "What does it take to become an activist to bring down the CoS," where the alternative is, "I did that, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I'm done with it now." Plenty of people moved on.
Ultimately, we all find our own ways to deal with our past and to choose what/whether to communicate it, as well as to whom.
Sometimes the issue is made more difficult because many people who left the organizations did things while they were in it that they now regret. That forces other Exes to struggle with forgiveness, and that's not an easy thing to do when the other Ex caused conscious, lasting harm to oneself. For instance, there's one guy in particular who deliberately lied to me, causing me to take actions I would not otherwise have taken. I have not yet found it in my heart to forgive him because it was a moral failing and not, "Well, I was following policy, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
As a result, I'm incensed at the video from Aaron Smith-Levin in which he tells ex-Scientologists that if they had any of the jobs he listed and they remain under the radar, they need to come out and provide documents/statements or he will dox and out them. Nope nope nope. One of the reasons I left that organization is that they wanted me to behave in a certain way. Dude, you ain't the boss of me.
It'd be easy for me to climb on the Personality Parade and make this about ASL, but I'd rather take a step back, here, and discuss amongst ourselves the expectations we each have for communicating about the CofS or those who are or were involved. My own conclusion, after many years, was: Be kind to each other. We all thought we were doing the right thing, at the time and I have the right to decide what I say about Scientology, publicly or privately.
I'm at the end of this long message and I'm not sure exactly what my takeaway ought to be. Other than: Nobody has a right to share my private information because of his own agenda.

Ricky & Cesar, welcome to the Amazing Race Pantheon of Dominant Teams!
For explanations of what the stats mean, see here.
Note: Leg 6 was a Megaleg. For stats purposes, it is counted as two separate legs, with the first leg being the leg up to the end of the first Roadblock.
Individual Placements

Team	Leg 1 (KOR)	Leg 2	Leg 3	Leg 4	Leg 5	Leg 6A	Leg 6B	Leg 7	Leg 8	Leg 9	Leg 10	Leg 11
(M/M) Ricky & Cesar	2nd	2nd	1st	1st	1st	2nd	2nd	1st	1st	1st	3rd	1st
(M/M) Juan & Shane	4th	4th	4th	5th	2nd	1st	1st	6th	2nd	3rd	2nd	2nd
(M/F) Rod & Leticia	1st	1st	5th	4th	5th	5th	3rd	3rd	5th	2nd	1st	3rd
(M/F) Amber & Vinny	12th	7th	2nd	2nd	3rd	3rd	4th	4th	3rd	4th	4th
(F/F) Yvonne & Melissa	6th	5th	6th	7th	6th	6th	6th	5th	4th	5th
(M/F) Angie & Danny	7th	6th	9th	3rd	4th	4th	5th	2nd	6th
(F/F) Sunny & Bizzy	9th	9th	7th	8th	7th	7th	7th	7th
(M/F) Derek & Shelisa	3rd	3rd	3rd	6th	8th	8th	8th
(F/F) Kishori & Karishma	10th	10th	8th	9th	9th
(M/F) Michelle & Sean	5th	11th	10th	10th
(M/M) Anthony & Bailey	8th	8th	11th
(M/F) Chris & Mary	11th	12th
(M/F) Maya & Rohan	13th

Group Average Placements
The number in parentheses is the number of teams in that group that competed in that leg.

Group	Leg 1	Leg 2	Leg 3	Leg 4	Leg 5	Leg 6A	Leg 6B	Leg 7	Leg 8	Leg 9	Leg 10	Leg 11
All-Male (M/M) Teams	4.67 (3)	4.67 (3)	5.33 (3)	3.00 (2)	1.50 (2)	1.50 (2)	1.50 (2)	3.50 (2)	1.50 (2)	2.00 (2)	2.50 (2)	1.50 (2)
Co-Ed (M/F) Teams	7.43 (7)	6.67 (6)	5.80 (5)	5.00 (5)	5.00 (4)	5.00 (4)	5.00 (4)	3.00 (3)	4.67 (3)	3.00 (2)	2.50 (2)	3.00 (1)
All-Female (F/F) Teams	8.33 (3)	8.00 (3)	7.00 (3)	8.00 (3)	7.33 (3)	6.50 (2)	6.50 (2)	6.00 (2)	4.00 (1)	5.00 (1)	(0)	(0)

Individual Stats
Ranks are listed in the format (season rank, U.S. rank, world rank). U.S. ranks are out of 404 teams, and world ranks are out of 1,004 teams.

Team	Leg Wins	Racing Average	APAM	Average Dominance	Total Dominance
Ricky & Cesar	7 (58%)	1.50 (1st, 1st, 2nd)	+78.57% (1st, 1st, 1st)	90.61% (1st, 1st, 1st)	92.86% (1st, 1st, 1st)
Rod & Leticia	3 (25%)	3.00 (2nd, 54th, 141st)	+57.14% (2nd, 29th, 78th)	68.68% (2nd, 41st, 106th)	71.43% (2nd, 41st, 102nd)
Juan & Shane	2 (17%)	3.17 (3rd, 70th, 183rd)	+54.76% (3rd, 39th, 102nd)	62.72% (3rd, 72nd, 182nd)	69.05% (3rd, 50th, 129th)
Amber & Vinny	0 (0%)	4.36 (4th, 162nd, 423rd)	+37.66% (4th, 123rd, 295th)	51.93% (4th, 142nd, 354th)	54.88% (4th, 136th, 338th)
Yvonne & Melissa	0 (0%)	5.60 (7th, 245th, 617th)	+20.00% (7th, 195th, 494th)	37.33% (7th, 247th, 599th)	41.77% (7th, 231st, 562nd)
Angie & Danny	0 (0%)	5.11 (5th, 206th, 546th)	+26.98% (5th, 167th, 415th)	49.80% (5th, 155th, 393rd)	50.67% (5th, 163rd, 410th)
Sunny & Bizzy	0 (0%)	7.63 (8th, 315th, 805th)	–8.93% (8th, 296th, 727th)	22.05% (9th, 324th, 808th)	24.29% (9th, 322nd, 795th)
Derek & Shelisa	0 (0%)	5.57 (6th, 242nd, 614th)	+20.41% (6th, 193rd, 491st)	43.16% (6th, 209th, 514th)	50.00% (6th, 164th, 412th)
Kishori & Karishma	0 (0%)	9.20 (11th, 352nd, 894th)	–31.43% (11th, 329th, 831st)	16.86% (11th, 342nd, 847th)	18.00% (11th, 343rd, 848th)
Michelle & Sean	0 (0%)	9.00 (9th, 342nd, 865th)	–28.57% (9th, 323rd, 823rd)	21.44% (10th, 327th, 816th)	23.81% (10th, 326th, 804th)
Anthony & Bailey	0 (0%)	9.00 (9th, 342nd, 865th)	–28.57% (9th, 323rd, 823rd)	26.01% (8th, 306th, 762nd)	27.27% (8th, 304th, 763rd)
Chris & Mary	0 (0%)	11.50 (12th, 396th, 989th)	–64.29% (12th, 364th, 915th)	8.33% (12th, 364th, 905th)	8.70% (12th, 364th, 904th)
Maya & Rohan	0 (0%)	13.00 (13th, 403rd, 1,003rd)	–85.71% (13th, 403rd, 1,003rd)	0.00% (13th, 372nd, 930th)	0.00% (13th, 372nd, 930th)

Pseudo-Elo Ratings
U.S. ranks are out of 368 teams, and world ranks are out of 954 teams.
Note: Rank changes listed here are the combined rank changes across legs 10 and 11.

1. Ricky & Cesar, +2286 (down 49) (U.S. #1, world #1)
2. Juan & Shane, +1320 (up 66) (U.S. #14, world #39)
3. Rod & Leticia, +1036 (up 96) (U.S. #29, world #83)
4. Amber & Vinny, +626 (down 113) (U.S. #79, world #197)
5. Angie & Danny, +316 (U.S. #110, world #295)
6. Yvonne & Melissa, –227 (U.S. #201, world #519)
7. Derek & Shelisa, –254 (U.S. #206, world #533)
8. Maya & Rohan, –600 (U.S. #299, world #763)
9. Anthony & Bailey, –655 (U.S. #314, world #802)
10. Chris & Mary, –858 (U.S. #348, world #897)
11. Michelle & Sean, –924 (U.S. #354, world #915)
12. Sunny & Bizzy, –974 (U.S. #361, world #925)
13. Kishori & Karishma, –1093 (U.S. #366, world #938)

Group Stats
Group stats are totals for leg wins and averages for all other stats.

Group	Leg Wins	Racing Average	APAM	Average Dominance	Total Dominance	Pseudo-Elo Rating
All-Male (M/M) Teams	9 (75%)	4.50	+35.71%	61.77%	63.85%	+984
Co-Ed (M/F) Teams	3 (25%)	7.39	–5.54%	33.91%	36.73%	–94
All-Female (F/F) Teams	0 (0%)	7.48	–6.79%	25.41%	28.02%	–765

Trivia

• This is the second U.S. season in a row, and the fifth U.S. season overall, to have all-male teams finish 1st and 2nd. (The previous three such seasons were TAR9, TAR16, and TAR21.)
• Ricky & Cesar are the 12th all-male winners in U.S. history and the 38th all-male winners in franchise history.
  • The U.S. winner counts are now: 12 all-male, 21 co-ed, 3 all-female.
  • The franchise winner counts are now: 38 all-male, 40 co-ed, 16 all-female.
• Ricky & Cesar may not have gotten the franchise racing average record or gotten the most leg wins, but they have broken the franchise records in all the other stats I track in the above tables.
  • Furthermore, they might not have finished with all top-2 finishes, but they are the first team in U.S. history and the 4th team in franchise history (not counting Jin Zhongguo & Li Guangzhu, who only competed in one leg) to finish with all top-2 finishes except for a single 3rd place, after Marc & Rovilson, Li Xiaopeng & Li Anqi, and Tiến Đạt & Thúc Lĩnh Lincoln.
• Ricky & Cesar are the first team in franchise history to finish with a racing average of 1.50.
  • They have the best racing average of any team that won the race, beating the previous record of 1.63 by Tiến Đạt & Thúc Lĩnh Lincoln (and the previous U.S. record of 1.83 by Rachel & Dave).
• Juan & Shane are the 5th team in U.S. history and the 17th team in franchise history to finish with a racing average of 3.00.
  • They are the second team in franchise history to finish 2nd while doing this, after Angel & Frankie (who were the last team to do this).
• Rod & Leticia are the 9th team in U.S. history and the 13th team in franchise history to finish with a racing average of 3.17.
  • The last two teams to do this (Rob & Corey and Janne & Robin) both also finished 3rd.
• Do you have any other trivia? Leave it in the comments!

This week's auction that just ended was a nightmare.
1) I got on the site 15 minutes before the auction ended, and load times on all 3 devices (Windows laptop, Macbook and phone) were horrible. It wasn't my wifi, everything else I was doing was normal. Cost me opportunites to increase bids, which means sellers missed out on higher prices and UA missed out on higher commissions.
2) The new site took about 5 steps back in user-friendliness. Once you have more than one page of lots you're following, if you look at a lot, you can't just go to the prior or next lot from that page. You have to go back, and it takes you to the start of your list, then you have to page forward from there. Same for the lots you're winning and the lots on which you've been outbid. Extremely cumbersome. This is componded by the fact that you can't increase the number of lots you're viewing for the Outbid/Winning/Watching. Gotta go 10 at a time.
The new platform looks better, but using it is a horribly frustrating, slow, tedious experience, and I can't believe it's not costing sellers and UA money.

Hi, I'm 30 years old and just moved out into my own apartment. Getting used to living alone again has been a bit of a struggle for me. I'm looking for connection whether it would be as friends or something more. I'm pansexual and consider myself non binary. I have Bipolar 1, and take medication for it. I'm also on disability for it currently. I'm also hearing impaired and in the future will need hearing aids. Still waiting to figure that one out. My mental health is something I have to put first as it can be dangerous for me if I slip in that area. I don't do drugs or drink, which can probably be offputting to some. I'm not religious, and am currently on a health journey to improve myself. Quitting smoking, exercising, diet. I'm 5'9 and about 190lbs. Hoping to lose 35lbs by the end of the year so I can continue improving my health. I have difficulties being around large groups of people, and prefer one on one settings. I just can't seem to understand group settings very well. :p Wow I really have a lot of issues. xD Seeing them all listed here makes me laugh. I'm very open about my mental illness and how it's affected me in my life. I would say my recovery from it is going well. It's a journey not a destination. :) I'm more than happy to provide face pictures once we get to know each other better. Well just putting myself out there hoping for something. I have always found an easier time expressing myself through words than through speech. Also if you have a cat I want to see pictures of them! haha I love kitty cats so much. I hope to get a cat again now that I've moved out. They help me so much with everything. :) Feel free to send a message if you are interested.

I’m a tenant in Torrance, Ca. It’s a new 6 unit property that was once a single family house property so there’s no maintenance or manger on duty. It’s two years in August and the property management company has been absolute trash. They don’t respond in a timely manner if at all to any question or concern. Two of the units on property are used as Airbnb listings and every single guest has caused issues for all tenants with the parking. We have sent multiple complaints to the property manager to avail, they tell us they’re doing something to solve the issue and nothing ever gets done. They refused to share contact information for the host until recently but they are just as negligent as the property managers. At this point I’m certain they are in it together and pretending to be desperate entities to avoid any consequences. Recently the guests staying in the property have become more and more rowdy. I have tried to get a resolution through Airbnb but it appears they are using multiple platforms to aquiere guests so that was a dead end. I’ve called the property manager multiple times and sent messages and it’s been complete radio silence. I have most recently told them that I want to end my month to month agreement and still no response and at this point I feel like I’m trapped. No idea what i Can do at this point other than just leave without my deposit which I’m not going to do.

hi!
I have 3a-ish hair, runs dry, mid to high porosity (I think). shoulder length shag + bangs, jet black.
I have a lot of issues with dry hair and breakage (breakage may be ED related, if that makes a diff). that being said I've always had those dry hair and breakage issues so not solely that.
right now I use botanical hearth peppermint oil shampoo/conditioner, co-wash every night and shampoo once a week.
argan oil every night, every couple of days verb curl cream, every now and then not your mothers curl talk gel. going to start using mielle pomegranate honey leave in.
wear a silk bonnet + silk pillowcase but still end up with flat, dry curls the next morning and need to refresh with water and they usually look great.
mainly want to know if theres a better shampoo/conditioner to use, as well as other products to rec! thanks so much <3

Hi, I'm 30 years old and just moved out into my own apartment. Getting used to living alone again has been a bit of a struggle for me. I'm looking for connection whether it would be as friends or something more. I'm pansexual and consider myself non binary. I have Bipolar 1, and take medication for it. I'm also on disability for it currently. I'm also hearing impaired and in the future will need hearing aids. Still waiting to figure that one out. My mental health is something I have to put first as it can be dangerous for me if I slip in that area. I don't do drugs or drink, which can probably be offputting to some. I'm not religious, and am currently on a health journey to improve myself. Quitting smoking, exercising, diet. I'm 5'9 and about 190lbs. Hoping to lose 35lbs by the end of the year so I can continue improving my health. I have difficulties being around large groups of people, and prefer one on one settings. I just can't seem to understand group settings very well. :p Wow I really have a lot of issues. xD Seeing them all listed here makes me laugh. I'm very open about my mental illness and how it's affected me in my life. I would say my recovery from it is going well. It's a journey not a destination. :) I'm more than happy to provide face pictures once we get to know each other better. Well just putting myself out there hoping for something. I have always found an easier time expressing myself through words than through speech. Also if you have a cat I want to see pictures of them! haha I love kitty cats so much. I hope to get a cat again now that I've moved out. They help me so much with everything. :) Feel free to send a message if you are interested.

To help streamline things on the Subreddit, please use the weekly support thread for any support-related concerns.
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TLDR; registered sex offender in the neighborhood frequently riding bike by house; waving to LO.
In my neighborhood (probably 4/5 away), there is a woman on the registered sex offender list. I first saw her several month ago and immediately recognized her but forgot from where. A few weeks later I was checking the location map of registered sex offenders and saw her face (she’s a woman in her sixties, short hair, unmistakable). I ended up googling her and was mortified to find out that she was arrested and served prison time for molesting an infant she babysat.
My problem is, is that she frequently bikes past our place. She has made attempts to wave/say hi to our toddler as well (I act like I don’t see her, I’ve panicked each time and taken LO inside). She does the same thing to our neighbors with children. Now that the weather is nice, I see her by our place 2x a day on average, riding up an down our block.
Obviously I can’t take legal action as what she is doing is not illegal, but I still feel really uncomfortable and frightened at times. What would you recommend I do, if anything? I just want to keep my baby safe.