Christina m handle

We have been married for two years and four in total at the relationship. I (35M) met her while I was actively dating others. Soon after I met F (33F) and I had a relationship that lasted over a year with her. I haven’t had my other significant relationship with someone else since.
The other day we were talking about our future and she told me she didn’t wanted me to have another partner, that she did not want to be in that situation again. She knows this exact same thing happened to me before, a girl I loved did the same thing and I broke with her and it was really painful for me. I tried to be monogamous for her and it didn’t worked, I felt I was betraying myself while I was trying.
Now I feel I’m at the same spot once again, but this time I’m married, this time we both agreed at the start of the relationship that we were going to be polyamorous. I know she can opt out anytime she wants, is her life and her decision on how to live it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be with someone else in a relationship besides her, I’m not pursuing it, nor looking for someone. I just love having the freedom to follow my heart if someday happens.
I would really love to have some perspective and advice on how to handle this
Thanks in advance

Hoping someone has experienced the same issue as me and knows what to do!
One one of my three nodes I can’t use the console to access any LXCs, but the other two are fine. On the affected node I get a “host identification has changed” warning. After a lot of searching through old threads, I think I caused this by reinstalling Proxmox on a node and re-using the same hostname and IP address (reinstalled to switch to ZFS - deleted it from the cluster and re-joined after reinstalling).
I saw that this might be something to do with the way PVE handles SSH known hosts in a cluster - or used to handle them before 8.2 maybe, but I don’t know enough about SSH to know what it means or how to fix it! 😅
I posted to the Proxmox forum with a bit more detail here: https://forum.proxmox.com/threads/lxc-ssh-issue-after-reinstalling-a-node-and-using-same-hostname-and-ip.147251/ I’ve tried the obvious things (reboot, the instructions in the error message) and a few steps from forum posts I found, but am worried about making things worse instead of better haha.
Have resorted to migrating containers to other nodes if I need to access the shell, but there’s got to be an easier way! If the solution is to reinstall all three nodes from scratch so be it (my LXCs and VMs are all backed up), but I’m hoping I don’t need to take the nuclear option…

Please bear with me. Aside sa hindi ako marunong mag kwento, I am currently overwhelmed by my emotions.
For context I’m F24 and I live alone. I don’t pay house rent kasi I have my own place na. (My parents got this for me). Mind you, my parents own a junkshop. They earn pretty decent naman kaso at times hindi kaya ng kita nila magkeep up sa inflation lol. But so far so good, They are really good at handling money. Maliit man or malaki, they can surely budget it so damn well.
I’ve been giving my mom her allowance (5000) for more than a year now. And for someone who earns around 20-25k monthly, medyo pain na sakin ito. Ang taas ng bills ko, credit card, electric and water fee plus the internet. Need ko pa kumain on a daily basis and go out to keep me sane.
Nacoconsume na ako these past few days, idk how to keep up with life anymore. Nappressure na ako. Sa career ko, who and what I want to become also nauubos na din ako kakabigay kela mama. Until kanina, sumabog na ako. I talked to my Mama. I told her na after this month, I dont think I can still give her allowance. I also told her na its been a year since I moved out pero wala akong naiipon for myself. Sinabi ko din na I need to be more wise kasi tbh guys ang hirap talaga magbudget. Hindi enough yung salary ko, hindi rin ako super gastos. Alam ng boyfriend ko yung spending habits ko.
Mom said na its okay, they will be fine. kakayanin naman daw siguro nila. Pero ewan ko ba, kahit may assurance naman from my parents (pero ramdam ko na hesitant si mom ko sa sinasabi nya), pakiramdam ko pabaya akong anak. Feeling ko, iniwan ko sila sa ere. What should I do? tama ba ginawa ko? ABYG if titigil na ako sa pagbibigay ng allowance sa Mom ko?

So my dad (an owner operator for about a year) isn’t the most tech savvy, but he’s a harder worker than I’ll ever be. Man only takes 1-2 days off a week and works the rest, but he’s stuck waiting for loads because he relies on my uncle. My uncles a great guy with a good connection with some brokers.
My dad waits for my uncle to get a good load and then gives him 10%. Everyone has decided it’s best for him to pick his loads. I decided it’d be best to use his account and get loads for him. My dad’s smart, but I feel like new tech is just overwhelming for him, Ik a business owner should be able to handle stress, but I’m slowly getting him used to more diverse experiences. He seems to just not like tech.
Anyway, what’s the best way to learn or get involved? I’ve been able to mark a few loads based on his truck and where he’s at. Our idea is to pick a load with good cpm where the destination itself could give him a lot of options to work with.
Since he’s a van/reefer, we’re also thinking of keeping him in the Midwest (close to us) since he’s in Cali mostly.
I’m an unemployed software engineer. Currently applying for jobs and working on a big project, so I’d like to help my old man out and maybe run part of his business on the side.
Appreciate your help!

Sorry for asking this but I really really want to watch this show for a long time now.. It’s just that I can’t handle nudity… Call me names all you want but I just can’t and I have serious reasons for it but it’s too personal. I’m in for the gore and stuff but just not bold. Thanks 🙏

Hi there everyone! First time chicken owner for the past 4 months and I’m totally enamored with them. This question is more about how my husband interacts with the chickens, and I plan to show him what y’all write because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m overreacting or not. My husband has owned pet chickens off and on for many years. When I first moved in with him up until we got married, he had chickens but they didn’t really interact with me. My husband did all the coop work etc. but I noticed he wore his coop shoes into the house, wasn’t handwashing etc. I asked him to be a bit more careful because I have autoimmune disease- to the point- I got really sick like 2 months before our wedding with campylobacter- even though I never touched the chickens at all, don’t eat packaged lettuce or eat chicken or eggs (food allergies) so it was determined it came from our chickens. I was hospitalized and I later developed a very mild form of guillaine barre. It took me 5 months to recover and I’m still dealing with issues related to this and still paying hospital bills.
So- shortly after this a raccoon tore into the coop and killed all 4 girls. It was awfully traumatic and he swore he’d never get chickens again. Well a few months ago he on a whim came home with chicks swearing to reinforce the coop and it would be okay. I ended up being the one that raised and bonded with them and they are super snuggly and really social and I adore them so much. I made him promise that if we were going to go forward with this that he would 1: have separate shoes that he did not bring into the house. 2 wash his hands anytime touching the girls, any thing they come into contact around the coop etc.
So far- I’ve seen him kiss the chickens on the head. I mean- it’s so sweet but come on! Sit out there with him all over his lap then come inside and make sandwiches. Like reaching into communal food- cheese packages bread, cut up fruit (with his bare hands) and not hand washing. keeps coop shoes on in house etc. he plays on his phone with them, sets it on the ground where they poop and later puts it on the kitchen counter and other places where we eat.
I should mention he has frequent stomach pain and now, once again, I have awful diarrhea after he kissed the chicken last week and got a stomach ache and now I have it and I’m terrified I’m going to end up back in the hospital. I’ve been diligent trying to keep up by cleaning up after him but if he’s literally touching our food that isn’t going to be cooked with unwashed hands I don’t always catch this.
Is it crazy for me to expect some level of cleanliness? Or am I being unrealistic here with my expectations? How careful are you with handwashing etc after handling your chickens? Ours always want to sit on our laps. I have a special flannel I wear and another I put on my lap for them. Before I come in the house I take these things off and my boots and leave them hanging in the shed and immediately wash my hands and if I was taking videos of them on my lap I wipe my phone off with an alcohol wipe too since I set it on the kitchen counter to read recipes etc.
I’ve talked to my husband many times about this but it’s just not something he thinks to do- it’s like reminding a 5 year old. I don’t want to nag him but I also don’t want another 20,000 hospital bill or go through what I did again. Please let me know your thoughts because I feel like a crazy germaphobe here! Thanks
Edit to add: I love my husband more than anything- He’s the absolute love of my life and he does so much for me and he’s terribly thoughtful. He’s just a hopeless dirtball. It’s like living with Shrek!

Please bear with me. Aside sa hindi ako marunong mag kwento, I am currently overwhelmed by my emotions.
For context I’m F24 and I live alone. I don’t pay house rent kasi I have my own place na. (My parents got this for me). Mind you, my parents own a junkshop. They earn pretty decent naman kaso at times hindi kaya ng kita nila magkeep up sa inflation lol. But so far so good, They are really good at handling money. Maliit man or malaki, they can surely budget it so damn well.
I’ve been giving my mom her allowance (5000) for more than a year now. And for someone who earns around 20-25k monthly, medyo pain na sakin ito. Ang taas ng bills ko, credit card, electric and water fee plus the internet. Need ko pa kumain on a daily basis and go out to keep me sane.
Nacoconsume na ako these past few days, idk how to keep up with life anymore. Nappressure na ako. Sa career ko, who and what I want to become also nauubos na din ako kakabigay kela mama. Until kanina, sumabog na ako. I talked to my Mama. I told her na after this month, I dont think I can still give her allowance. I also told her na its been a year since I moved out pero wala akong naiipon for myself. Sinabi ko din na I need to be more wise kasi tbh guys ang hirap talaga magbudget. Hindi enough yung salary ko, hindi rin ako super gastos. Alam ng boyfriend ko yung spending habits ko.
Mom said na its okay, they will be fine. kakayanin naman daw siguro nila. Pero ewan ko ba, kahit may assurance naman from my parents (pero ramdam ko na hesitant si mom ko sa sinasabi nya), pakiramdam ko pabaya akong anak. Feeling ko, iniwan ko sila sa ere. What should I do? tama ba ginawa ko? ABYG if ganto gagawin ko sa Mom ko?

To start: I’m going on 10 years of running ultras so I have been working toward the “perfect” fueling strategy (for me) for a long time. I’m looking for input from people who’ve tried all the usual suggestions for solving GI distress, to hear whether there were additional, more specific and unique steps you took to finally survive a race without puking.
I have been working on increasing fuel for a couple years and can handle 250-300cal/hour just fine up to about 50K. Then I usually back off, because by about mile 60-70 the tummy gets tight. Three races ago, I puked and subsequently stopped being able to take in much fuel at all around mile 80/85. Two races ago it happened at mile 75. This past weekend, I DNF’d at 50 (granted, with a shit ton of climbing) because it started to get hard to eat starting at mile 35.
It’s not foods that are foreign to my body; I keep it really simple in training and on race day. It’s not temperature; it happened when I was chilly in the overnight hours the last time. And it’s not about excessively high effort; My HR and breathing never felt very high or out of control at any giving point (my litmus test is being able to hum a tune or talk).
Is it just a matter of WHEN, not IF the stomach will revolt and therefore just managing it when it does? Do you have any go-to tricks to calm the tummy quicker? And how do you reconcile feeling like your heart, lungs, and legs could go harder but the gut just won’t allow it?

I have a program officer (PO) who treats me differently than how she treats the other 2 members of our very small team. This is long, I’m sorry.
The other members have discreetly asked me why PO treats me like I’m not very capable; she does not treat the other two members of our team as micromanagery as she does me. I get my work done in as timely of a manner as the other two, if not more at times. None of our work typically overlaps, and we don’t depend on each other to get work done at all.
If I had to pinpoint an instance where PO started to not like me it would be over a year ago where she asked to have a meeting with me after she transferred to our office. Due to the nature of the work we do, all of us make our own schedules. The entire time I have worked at my job I have worked 7am-3:30pm and it had never been a problem, as when I was hired I was very clear that I have another job that I work after. PO comes in anywhere between 9:30am-11am and works into the evening; she called the meeting to TELL me that I needed to be available outside of my working hours for when meetings pop up. I asked, what meetings? I wasn’t aware that I was missing meetings? And she responded with something like she schedules meetings in her evenings and she wants me to be more flexible to be available to sit in on them. I remember telling her that I don’t have the flexibility to be late or have someone cover my other job on less than 24 hours notice and that I am not always able to be accommodating to her coming in so much later than me when I plan out my week with my work, so often my time is already allocated according to my workload. She ended the meeting telling me that I’m not allowed to come in any earlier than 7am, which I wasn’t even known to do.
Fast forward to now, I try to just get my work done and keep to myself because I can tell PO doesn’t like me all that much. If it matters and if you know about “personality colors” PO is a gold, I am a green, and the two other coworkers are blues. I’ve been working on a training for a curriculum that I teach that includes guidance on how to be a good facilitator; PO, one coworker, and a remote intern have worked on this with me. We’re using something like Google docs to work on the training together, and while working on my parts I noticed an icebreaker question that I didn’t find to be appropriate.
It was “would you rather have 10 more years with your spouse or a one night stand with your celebrity crush”. I would most likely be conducting this training and I don’t feel comfortable or professional asking a question like that. We also still had to submit the training for review and I didn’t want the big bosses seeing it and thinking we’re a bunch of unprofessional hens.
I brought the question up to PO and coworker, and said I don’t know/don’t care who included it, but could we take it out because I don’t think it represents me or our job well. Coworker said that she was the one who included it, and thought that it was a fun question to change gears during the training. I said it was a fun question, just not for this! Coworker said no worries, she’d take it out, no problem.
PO, however, scoffed at me and said “I don’t know why you’re being such a prude about this?”.
I was taken aback, but didn’t say anything and we all went back to our office. Personally, I have learned that I need to take a few minutes to think before I address anything, because I want to make sure I’m not overreacting to stuff that’s not a big deal. The fact that both PO and coworker thought that the question was acceptable and were willing to leave it in the training made me feel like I was the odd man out and like I was wrong for taking issue with it.
I went out to my car, called my husband and told him what just happened. He was furious and said that the question was not only completely unacceptable, but PO had crossed a line by harassing me by calling me a prude. He told me to go to HR, as he knows other things PO has done to me and this was something I absolutely should not let her get away with.
I went to HR and had a closed door conversation. I gave HR the rundown and she confirmed the question was not okay and calling me a prude was also not okay. I adamantly said that I did not think that PO said this to me maliciously, but I thought it was uncalled for and it hurt my feelings. I also said that it made me feel uncomfortable expressing my thoughts or opinions if it goes against PO or the group. I told HR that unfortunately we don’t know where someone’s boundaries are until we cross them, and PO crossed my boundaries. I said that if I don’t know how to talk to her that chances are she probably doesn’t know how to talk to me either; if I’m expecting grace and consideration from PO, I have to be willing to extend that to her as well. HR said that they were willing to mediate a conversation or I could have one on my own if I was comfortable. I feel stupid now, but I chose to have my own conversation with her. I recorded it for my own peace of mind but I haven’t told that to anyone.
I asked PO if she had time to talk to me privately and outlined the points how I laid them out to HR. I was very calm and made it clear that I value my working relationship with her, even acknowledging that I feel like I am an was person to get along with but may not be an easy person to get to know. I told her that my impression of her was that she likes to be friendly/friends with her subordinates and that’s not how I treat my work relationships. I don’t need to be friends with someone to get along with them and I also don’t need to be unkind to get my point across.
She told me that she didn’t even know the question was in the training and me bringing it up was the first time she had heard of it being included. We talked a bit more and I feel like she tried to push a lot back onto me; I look to focused while I’m working and she doesn’t want to bother me, she doesn’t know if I’m actually working and doesn’t want to micromanage me but I always come prepared/informed to meetings so I MUST be working, other coworker just tells her things without having to ask, etc. Afterwards she said “Wow, I’m so glad we could handle this like adults!”
Her behavior toward me hasn’t changed. This has gotten long, but I feel conflicted because I had the opportunity to nail her to the wall and didn’t feel good about taking it. How do I go on? She’s leaving at the end of June but may have the opportunity to remote her roll. Best case senario she’s gone soon and worse case is she worsens her behavior toward me by being remote.

He says unless I fight him im kicked out immediately idk what to do I’m 20.
I’ve got 30k saved in my bank account. My mom seems like she’s leaving as well but idk. Lost rn. Feel like I could’ve handled the situation better myself but… it is what it is he’s a terrible person.
I live in Vancouver Canada so rent will not be cheap.

We have been together for 11 years, married for 5. We have been through two rounds of marriage counseling, both of which were not productive, mostly because he was unwilling to do the things they suggested. Examples: book recommendation; he refuses to read. Planning a date night once and awhile for me since I handle that all the time; he never did.
He says I’m not “nice” enough or I expect too much. He is extremely disengaged. I know his job is taxing but I’m the bread winner, handle the majority of the housework, handle all the planning, and generally let the man live his life.
When I bring up the idea of divorce, he freaks out, and constantly mentions if I just lower my “crazy” standards, we’d be fine.
I feel like a roommate, a weekend friend to him, a doormat.

I’m seriously vexed. I’m on day 2 of the lowest dose of semaglutide. Ate very light today focusing on protein. No side effects or digestive issues so far. I have a two year old and a partner so I cook most nights and tonight I made pork tenderloin with asparagus and potatoes. Since I hadn’t eaten much today I was nervous I would eat more than my stomach could handle for dinner. I put two little pork medallions, a little asparagus and a couple potato slices on my plate and ate them. And that was that! It tasted great, and it’s like my mouth sort of wanted to keep tasting it, but some part of my brain was just like nope, you’re good! Wasn’t necessarily “full”, but like mentally satiated. Is this what intuitive eating is like??
For context, and not to piss anyone off, but I’m 5’9” and was always thin until my late thirties. I could eat anything and everything and stay thin. Then perimenopause set in, I had a baby, and after nursing her I just kept eating like I was breastfeeding (if you know you know) and then I was 200lbs lol. LBVS. I tried keto, which worked but unsustainable when you have a toddler and are cooking for three. Then I tried intermittent fasting which also worked but I would gorge myself at night to make up for not eating all day. I realized that despite having been thin before, I NEVER had a healthy relationship with food and I always ate until I was uncomfortable, never denying myself a little treat. I literally can’t wrap my head around my brain just knowing when to stop. This is miraculous. We still have Easter candy in the kitchen (because my daughter gets very little sugar) and I just keep passing it by. Just wow.

Hi, recently my squad and I have started using Macon blades. And ever since starting with them my forearms have been in incredible pain as early as 3 minutes into the session. I know it isn’t my grip or breaking arms too early as I this isn’t the first time this has happened and that was the cause that time. I usually use the smallest size my club offers for oar handles. But the Macon ones are massive, and I’m finding it hard to keep my hands parallel when feathering. Which is my no.1 theory on why my forearms hurt. Just wondering if that coil be the reason?

There’s been a lot of discourse and controversy surrounding how it handles its characters, so I’m wondering how everyone thought of the characters portrayals.
Who of them had positive character arcs, who had negative character arcs? Do they think they were portrayed heroically or did they come off as betrayals of the characters?
I heard from many people that they weren’t heroic and basically became bad guys but idk how true that is lol. Really interested in hearing your opinions.

My husband has a history of emotionally abusive behavior. There is a lot to list from the past decade so I won’t get too deep into it.
He threatened to lock me out of the house and throw my stuff on the lawn when I said I wanted to leave last winter. He also has a DV charge from a past relationship (that I did not know about until a few years into our relationship) from when she was leaving him. It was a long time ago, but its still a concern.
He is not an evil person, he is just not in control of his emotions/reactions. I still love him, but love is not enough. I’m not claiming to be a saint either, but I’ve been going to therapy and trying everything to work on our relationship, and he refuses to go to counseling. There are plenty of moments where I can still see the good in him, but our relationship is unhealthy and often not reciprocal.
I would prefer to tell him in person so that me leaving isn’t a shock to him, but I cannot take that chance based on his past behavior. Everyone in my life (and reddit) urged me not to tell him before I leave our home.
This is what I plan on writing to him. Please tell me if this sounds okay, or if anything should be changed. Please be respectful, I am not doing well mentally right now.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say.
I’ve decided that I need space and time from our relationship. It was a long and hard road for me to come to this decision.
I wanted to tell you in person so me leaving wouldn’t be such a shock, but I had genuine concerns about having this talk face to face.
I know this hurts. My instinct is to be there for you to help you through the pain, but I am dealing with my own pain and barely holding on. I really need to focus on my own mental and physical health right now.
I am sure you have a million questions, but I ask that you give us both some time to process before we communicate on the phone, and I think it is best if we limit contact in general for now. I only want to handle this with kindness and fairness.
I will always love you, and you deserve to be happy, just as much as I do. Please take care of yourself. “

I am physically and mentally hurting so bad and I wish more than anything that I could lay in your arms while you hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be okay. Because it doesn’t feel okay without you. Do you miss holding me? Do you miss the way our bodies feel up against each other? You’re my person. My best friend. The person I went to when I needed comfort. And now I’m alone and I need your comfort more than anything. I don’t know if I can get through this. I don’t know if it will ever stop hurting. I’ve genuinely never felt emotional pain like this, even all the last times we’ve broken up, none of them have hurt like this. I want you to care that I’m hurt, and feel sad for me. I want you to want to ease my pain. I want to be yours again. Life is so hard without you. I’m so in love with you my heart can’t handle being away. I feel at this moment like Im going to have a heart attack. People have died from a broken heart, and I can’t imagine their heart was much more broken then mine. I miss you so much. I don’t think I can do this without you. How are you okay without me? How can you live with me for five months and just go on with life without me. I’m so scared I’ll never feel better. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. Im not equipped for this. Im not strong enough. I dedicated my everything to you. I put all of me into you. I loved you with my entire being. I’ve never felt my heart physically hurt like this before. My chest fucking aches. My stomach hurts all day everyday. But the mental pain is so much more. It’s in agony. Do you care? Do you wish I didn’t feel this way? How does your pain compare to mine. Are you in any pain? Does your heart hurt at all? I can’t let go of you forever. You’re too special to me. I’m so afraid you’re going to move on and I’m going to spend the rest of my life wishing for you. Im afraid this pain will never go away, only dull itself with time. In ten years, will you be moved on and will I still cry for you at night? This just hurts so bad. I’ve never felt this before. I’m scared. I’m so scared. Please don’t leave me forever. I can’t live the rest of my life never being held by you again. It will be meaningless. I love you forever. May we meet again.

I am entering my second year of gen surg residency and I’m concerned with how much my depression has worsened. We take one month of night float at a time 3-4 times a year, and every time this happens I become more depressed and cannot recover from it. I feel like my thoughts have become progressively worse and morbid, I don’t have emotion and feel indifferent to everything. I don’t have motivation to effectively do any research or studying which only makes me hate myself more. I lack external support and do not have much of a relationship with my family, so I tend to isolate myself and keep everything suppressed. I have tried to reach out to therapist but end up cancelling as they cannot accommodate to my hours. Our surgery program is small and I fear someone finding out and there being repercussions. Because I also cannot handle being forced to take a medical leave or whatever, as being home alone with my thoughts is even more depressing than being at work. I would really appreciate any advice, and need some positivity/support. Has anyone else found luck with therapist who can accommodate to their schedule?

Hi, I’m probably getting all four wisdom teeth removed soon. I’m planning to do it in July before I start college so that I have time to just rot in bed after the procedure. Honestly, im scared because I’ve never had surgery. I don’t handle weed well either… so im scared getting put under won’t be an amazing experience for me. I also watched some YouTube videos and saw the excruciating pain of a dry socket. I get paranoid very easily and now im just insanely scared for this procedure. I’m 18, my friends had the operation without complications, but I get paranoid easily so what if mine goes horrible?

My man and I have been together for 4 years, and are excited to get engaged very soon. My boyfriend’s best friend, who is female, he met her at work a few years ago, she’s also engaged to a different man , and we’re invited to their wedding, her bridal shower , ect.
This female friend says I love you- to my boyfriend habitually via text, calls and in person and it bothers me deeply. She probably says it every few weeks when they catch up via text or at work . She invited my boyfriend to her wedding dress shopping recently .
The main problem I’m having is that she says I love you- to me it just feels too intimate and means something else to me. I discussed this with my man and he said he’d just say “love you” or “love ya” instead of inserting the “I” in that phrase.
He also is transparent about when and what him and his female bff talk about .
He recently told me that she said I love you again, and he said “love you” back.
I cannot tell for the life of me, because I’ve been trying to be accepting of this all along but now for some reason that we’re this close to getting engaged, it’s causing a massive amount of panic in me that I know that this is going on and could be going on forever - even after marriage . It bothers me so deeply and I dont want to be that insecure controlling fiancé, I don’t seem to have a problem with them being friends and catching up and the occasional “love ya”, but I’m just so hung ip in the fact she says I love you.
My boyfriend says she says that to all her close friends and I’m trying to just reassure myself and tell myself maybe Im overthinking because of my anxiety around realizing I’m getting engaged soon and everything seems like a larger deal, but I’d love to get advice about how to handle this, or know if it’s something I need to just let go and chill on?
I’m feeling so anxious that I feel like I’m going to be sick lately about this issue for some reason.
(Also my boyfriend has told me that she’s also best friends with another married man that - she knows has a crush on her, yet remains best friends and won’t tell the wife of this other random married man friend. So that’s unsettling to think that I could be in the same position. )
Maybe I’m just way overthinking but my boyfriend has advised that he trusts me and trusts himself to never screw things up between him and I and trusts us both to handle our relationship with the utmost care.
How should I go about this? Address this insecurity asap, wait until premarital counseling later this year, or just completely drop it and let it go somehow?

I am physically and mentally hurting so bad and I wish more than anything that I could lay in your arms while you hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be okay. Because it doesn’t feel okay without you. Do you miss holding me? Do you miss the way our bodies feel up against each other? You’re my person. My best friend. The person I went to when I needed comfort. And now I’m alone and I need your comfort more than anything. I don’t know if I can get through this. I don’t know if it will ever stop hurting. I’ve genuinely never felt emotional pain like this, even all the last times we’ve broken up, none of them have hurt like this. I want you to care that I’m hurt, and feel sad for me. I want you to want to ease my pain. I want to be yours again. Life is so hard without you. I’m so in love with you my heart can’t handle being away. I feel at this moment like Im going to have a heart attack. People have died from a broken heart, and I can’t imagine their heart was much more broken then mine. I miss you so much. I don’t think I can do this without you. How are you okay without me? How can you live with me for five months and just go on with life without me. I’m so scared I’ll never feel better. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. Im not equipped for this. Im not strong enough. I dedicated my everything to you. I put all of me into you. I loved you with my entire being. I’ve never felt my heart physically hurt like this before. My chest fucking aches. My stomach hurts all day everyday. But the mental pain is so much more. It’s in agony. Do you care? Do you wish I didn’t feel this way? How does your pain compare to mine. Are you in any pain? Does your heart hurt at all? I can’t let go of you forever. You’re too special to me. I’m so afraid you’re going to move on and I’m going to spend the rest of my life wishing for you. Im afraid this pain will never go away, only dull itself with time. In ten years, will you be moved on and will I still cry for you at night? This just hurts so bad. I’ve never felt this before. I’m scared. I’m so scared. Please don’t leave me forever. I can’t live the rest of my life never being held by you again. It will be meaningless. I love you forever. May we meet again.

This is the first time that this has happened to me where the body check on me was overt.
She pinched/grabbed my hip (I was wearing oversized baggy sweats and sweatshirt) while I was dishing up dessert (which I wasn’t even going to have but I was feeling ok) and said “you have as much as you want, you’re getting pretty skinny!”
This is NOT me flexing, trust me. It made me not want to eat at all, and feel even worse about the full meal I had just eaten. I still have significant “love handles” and I feel like when she did this, she felt them and realized I wasn’t as skinny as she was expecting.
The worst part is that she has never said this to my adult sister who is to this day much much thinner than me. It’s just because I was fatter and she has always been taller and much more slender when we were growing up.
And my grandma was super duper skinny at my age. I’ve tried on one of her dresses from when she was in her twenties, back when I was 16 or so, and I couldn’t zip it around my fridge shaped (and sized) ribcage.
I really hate when other women do this. I hate it when men make comments, but they’re men (not to excuse it but I expect it from them lol)… women should know better especially because most of the women in my life have struggled with eating issues or weight unhappiness.
(Also no offense to men with EDs I see yall and you’re valid, it’s more of the stereotypical man in my area I’m talking about)